it’s not that he’s unqualified; turns out he was five pieces of flair short of the minimum

Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke has decided he doesn’t want a job at the Department of Homeland Security after all, despite his obvious delight at the prospect of somehow bringing to the federal government his extensive expertise in letting people die in jail and sending a posse to intimidate airline passengers who give him the stink-eye. And yet, for some reason, Clarke has now decided he can best serve the interests of Making America Great Again in some other capacity, like maybe fading from public view and not being a huge embarrassment. OK, probably not that one.

An “adviser” for Clarke — yeah, county sheriffs need advisers when they’re as impressive as David Clarke — Craig Peterson, offered this explanation of the decision:

Late Friday, Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke Jr. formally notified Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly that he had rescinded his acceptance of the agency’s offer to join DHS as an assistant secretary […] Sheriff Clarke is 100 percent committed to the success of President Trump and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.

Translation: There was no way that even this administration could hope to get this bozo into a federal job. As the Washington Post puts it, ever so diplomatically, a source “close to the administration” explained Clarke’s appointment faced “significant delays that contributed to his withdrawal.” Looks like DHS was in a diplomatic mood, too:

A spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security said: “Sheriff Clarke is no longer being considered for a position within DHS. We wish him well.”

See? That was awfully kind — not even a “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” or “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.” And even though Clarke’s not going to work for the feds, Donald Trump met with him last Tuesday so they could have a nice chat about other ways he could prove his loyalty to the Great Leader. Yes, of course Trump met with Clarke — David Clarke is on TV, after all:

“The sheriff is reviewing options inside and outside of government,” Peterson said. “Sheriff Clarke told Secretary Kelly he is very appreciative of the tremendous opportunity the secretary was offering, and expressed his support for the secretary and the agency.”

Maybe he’ll go on secret missions behind enemy lines with a ragtag band of vigilantes! Or perhaps he’ll get a full time job on Fox News so he can yell at Black Lives Matter and warn about their imminent merger with ISIS, like he did in 2015:

Probably the biggest surprise coming out of the Washington Post’s coverage of Clarke’s decision to “rescind” his acceptance of the job offer is that it turns out there really was a job offer; ever since Clarke said in May that he was looking forward to arresting all the terrorists who go to anti-Trump marches, we’d assumed that, as usual, he was full of shit. We were ready to say he’d decided to “turn down” the “job” because he was distraught over the death of his Canadian girlfriend — possibly after accidentally impaling herself on one of 307 pins on Clarke’s uniform. But as WaPo reporter Abby Phillip explains, there really was a “tentative job offer letter” from DHS to Clarke, and yes, a “Tentative Job Offer letter” is also a real thing for federal jobs that require a security check and stuff.

The position Clarke will not be filling was “Assistant Secretary for Office of Partnership and Engagement/State and Local Law Enforcement,” which sounds like it might have conflicted with Clarke’s deep moral opposition to creeping federal power. After all, back in 2015, he was very suspicious of federal involvement with local law enforcement agencies:

So yeah, he probably turned the job down out of moral indignation once he thought about all the possibilities for tyranny. That has to be it.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations — please click the “Donate” clicky to send us money. Medals and pieces of flair for our uniforms can be sent by mail to our secret headquarters.

[WaPo / WaPo / Abby Phillip on Twitter]

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  • Joe Beese
    • cmd resistor


      • Skeptical_thinker

        They have already been labeled “obstructionists”, may as well obstruct.

    • But, they might get a very, very mean tweet sent out in their direction if they do this!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      They’re not even people.

    • shivaskeeper

      They better hope they understand the procedural rules better than McTurttle then.

  • Paul Dietzel

    Why would anyone, let alone a black dude, wear a cowboy hat in Milwaukee?

    • Joe Beese

      Scare off any Algonquin who want to take it back?

    • Bobathonic

      I would expect one more like this for the good Sheriff Ruckus:

    • The Wanderer

      The moronic urge to dress as a mythic figure from American folklore?

      • msanthropesmr

        I didnt know that Douchebags McGee was such a popular folk hero.

  • calliecallie

    Didn’t Sheriff Clarke have some Russia ties also too? What a coincidence!

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    That is a weak, pathetic display Sheriff Clarke. You are letting the North Korean generals

  • Oblios_Cap

    Well that’s one position that I don’t mind seeing going unfilled.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    That is a weak, pathetic display Sheriff Clarke. You are letting the North Korean generals kick your ass. Fight back! Close the medal gap!

  • The Wanderer

    OT but squee.
    Title’s misleading, though:

    • Oblios_Cap

      She could tickle my belly…

    • SomeBigRedDog


    • doktorzoom

      That red panda is in full control of its emotions, and is in fact more stable than the president of the United States.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I am totally going to get a red panda for a pet.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I don’t know that it’s legal. But if I did have one I’d name it Mozilla. A firefox is another name for red panda. One of the promo gimmicks for the browser was a live stream of red panda cubs at a zoo.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Legal schmegal! I’m a white guy in America! I want what I want!

  • memzilla Ω

    …he had rescinded his acceptance of the agency’s offer to join DHS

    Wow. Quittin’ before even TAKING the jerb? That’s the kind of quittin’ that out-Palins even Caribou Barbie herself!

    On the plus side, he now has more time to pick up random detritus from the street and pin it to his uniform.

    • msanthropesmr

      “I got this dead squirrel for providing security to Mike Huckabee”

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      He’s single-handedly keeping Cracker-Jack in business.

      • msanthropesmr

        Shit have you seen the prizes recently?

        • theblackdog

          Are they still just stickers or temporary tattoos?

    • georgiaburning

      He should get a job at a Disney park and swap pins with ten-year olds

      • Rags

        For FSM’s sake, keep him away from ten year olds!

  • msanthropesmr
    • Oblios_Cap

      I just re-upped mine. I hope it starts coming today.

      • msanthropesmr

        If you live somewhere without the worst mail service in the country (Really! According to the OMB and everything!). You get it on Saturday. If you live in Richmond, you get it sometime in the next week.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Sorry, I couldn’t read the article. Too distracted by all the shiny stuff on his shirt.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I’m okay with this since it sounds like was taking the job to either close it down, or turn it into a nice little end-around the court’s various rulings that the feds can’t make states enforce federal law.

  • Christopher Story

    He gives us cowboy hat wearers a bad name. David Clarke doesn’t represent me!

  • elviouslyqueer

    He looks like an angry Ben Carson after a week-long espresso bender.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Sorry, but every time I see this bozo I have to post a picture of Eisenhower near the end of WWII as General of the Army and Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe. The contrast is quite interesting, and says much about what a vainglorious, stupid asshole Sheriff Clarke is:

    • armed_bears

      Well said.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Chester Nimitz, too. In fact, most of the high-ranking Navy men were very inconspicuous in the field – wearing just their stars and warfare insignia.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Unlike say this fellow.

      Who helped Germany lose the war and is remembered for being a pompous vainglorious blowhard dipshit.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        “Der Dicke” was rather fond of dressing up. The Germans said he would don an admiral’s uniform to take a bath.

        • marxalot

          Was that before or after his doctor started loading him up on enough heroin, meth, and god only knows what else, to keep him vividly hallucinating and out of pain?

      • marxalot

        You know, if he’d died following WWI, or in combat, he’d be remembered as a flying ace, which is what he was. But he survived when his cause did not, and that is the tragedy of too many daredevils. It doesn’t absolve him of the crimes in which he participated or was complicit, but it became obvious once the Allies dried him out for Nuremburg that he didn’t have any clear memory of at least the previous five years. The docs had been drugging him to keep him a) out of pain; b) compliant; c) insane; d) all of the above.

    • shivaskeeper

      Part of that is traditionally Officers don’t earn many awards. The troops earn the awards and it’s considered bad form for an Officer to receive a decoration for the work of others. They tend to receive more service awards.

      But you also need to understand that is not a dress uniform. That one is a work uniform. There is no need to wear the chest salad to work everyday. He is displaying his seven personal decorations, but none of his service awards or foreign awards.

      • Predisenting Ron

        True. But if anything that makes Clarke look even MORE foolish, since Ike there was posing for this portrait in his undress khakis when he COULD have been wearing his dress uniform. This says, yes, I’m a general, but I’m also nothing special, just a soldier like all those who served under me.
        Interesting that his sleeve has been turned to show off his hash marks. He’s making it clear that he wasn’t some 90-day wonder.

        • shivaskeeper

          I agree completely. As for the hash marks showing, if it was anything like it is toady, the official portrait has very strict poses to show off things like that. Whoever took the picture arranged it like that. Also those are the overseas service bars. One bar for each six months overseas. He never got overseas during WWI. Which was a sticking point for some of his peers and subordinate officers during WWII.

          Now Ike’s full Mess Dress would be another thing altogether. He would put the NK Generals to shame if he wore all his foreign awards as well..

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I mean, are there not rules about what you can stick on your uniform?

        • shivaskeeper

          A lot of rules. For the military anyway. Army Regulation 670-1 covers it for the Army. The other services have their own. Most police forces should have something similar.

    • Three Finger Salute

      On Conan’s old show he used to keep his pencils in an Eisenhower mug on the desk. I think he still has it on the desk in the new show on cable.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))
  • Oblios_Cap

    No twatterstorm this AM from the orange shitgibbon?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Maybe he dropped his phone in a liberally diarrhea spattered toilet this morning, and KaC hasn’t gone in after it yet.

      • Boojum

        That’s Rinse Prepuce’s job.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Yeah, he twatted how mean the “Dems” are being to him and how we should all go and vote for “Karen H”.

      None of anything is “normal” any more.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Is that a sign of dementia? It seems he can’t recall last names. Karen H, Justin from Canada, “Bee Bee”… He really is losing what little cognizance he had in the first place, isn’t he. SAD!

  • Crystalclear12

    Another snowflake melted cruelly in the he spotlight.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    OT: Speaking of fucking asshole police. At Columbus Pride last weekend, a group got approval for a 7 minute protest in response to the acquittal of the officer who killed Philando Castile. The Columbus PD got a “tip” that they were blocking the parade and like all good police, escalated the situation and arrested several protesters. None of the news reports are including the fact that they had prior approval from the organizers. The lovely CPD posted this on Facebook:

    Columbus Division of Police
    June 17 at 4:49pm ·
    4 people arrested today. 4 officers were injured.
    1 suspect tried disarming an officer hurting her.
    1 suspect injured officer during his arrest‬.
    The suspects wouldn’t obey officers orders to leave the roadway at the parade this morning.
    Charges range from Aggravated Robbery, Resisting Arrest-Causing Harm to a Police Officer, Fail to Comply with a Police Officers Order or Signal to Disorderly Conduct-Hindering Movement.
    Overall everyone else had a great day.

    • data_ninja

      Ugh. Just, ugh.

    • Predisenting Ron

      They had permission.
      The cops assaulted them despite their having permission.
      They defended themselves against unlawful arrest.
      And they were charged for it.
      ‘Law and order’ my fuzzy black flank.

  • Indiepalin

    “What made MiIwaukee famous, has made a loser out of me.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      It were the beer that made Phil Mamie walk us.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Where’s Bob Uecker when you need him.

  • Werewolf

    The bit of flair right under the star on his chest in the above picture is a badge from the Israel traffic police. Now, I’ve met a lot of LEOs-I used to work in a store that sells uniforms to most of the public safety departments in Central Texas. It’s quite common for LEOs, especially sheriffs, police chiefs and the like to collect insignia from other departments-but not to wear it on their own uniforms.

    • shivaskeeper

      There are probably regulations for badges earned form other agencies, not given as a gift, but actually earned. but as the Sheriff, I’m sure he ignores them. Besides, how cool does more flair and awards look?

      • Boojum

        Not at all, Katie?

        • shivaskeeper

          I doubt it. But I would have to look at the regulations for him and I don;t really care enough to waste my time.

  • Me not sure

    That uniform looks pretty impressive…to a Cub Scout.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      That sneer fills me with respect for his authority.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Or an idiot… I mean, Trump.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Pfft, I had WAY more badges than that, plus, they’re ones I earned rather than buying them from the militaria store downtown.

      • Me not sure

        “And so Jesus said to the lawkeeper, ‘ Dyeth the thy beard and adorn thy raiment with trinkets, so that the people shall look upon thee and know that thou art a loony.”
        Thus ended the lesson.

  • RobKanC

    Good news for the rest of the US. But really bad news for the Milwaukee residents who I sympathize with. But they did vote him in, so fuck them a little too.

  • baconzgood

    He is having problems filling positions with half assed suck ups now.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I turned down my job as a cast member of Riverdance. They took too long to get back to me. It must have had something to do with my resume as a older lady who didn’t actually know anything about dancing.
    But I did have a plagerized thesis and a uniform full of flair, so there’s that.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Hold on! This ISN’T a Dave Chappelle character?!

    • TJ Barke

      Unfortunately not.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Homey don’t play that.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The reason Clarke declined was that the DHS told the him that his official uniform was not allowed to have more than 17 pieces of flair, I mean, medals.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sooo, hooker tape?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Domestic abuse allegations in 3…2…1…

  • Sorry, David A. Clarke, Jr–there can be only one Supreme Commander…

  • Old town Urbandale

    “David, I could put you out there on the field, but you’re much more valuable to the team rooting and catcalling here from the bench.”

  • Daniel Hooper

    How much do you want to bet Trump thought the DHS was basically just his own personal security at the White House and not actually part of the overall country’s security?

    • georgiaburning

      He has homes, he has land. He needs security. It’s an easy mistake for a third grader

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Surely there has to be someone who has said good things about trump that doesn’t yet have a position in the Administration.

    • Predisenting Ron


    • HazooToo

      He hasn’t offered Alex Jones a job yet.

  • OrG

    So maybe nuck chorris could do it.

    • elviouslyqueer

      What? Was Ned Tugent busy or something?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Nah, but Chuck already has law enforcement experience thanks to Walker, Texas Ranger.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          And Dirty Harry’s fully booked. Two shows a night, yelling at an empty chair.

          • ariel_gee_398

            And an early show 5 days a week, yelling at an empty toilet.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Or Sgt. Rock.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Easy Company’s too diverse for His Fraudulency.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Very true.

          Hell, the Howling Commandos are too diverse for this idiot. Maybe he’d be happier with Hydra.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    It’s living, breathing clownshoes all the way down.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    dead girl or live boy?

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Depends, have you checked the cellblock lately?

    • Boojum

      What do you mean? They were both dead.

    • mardam422

      Both dead in their cells at Milwaukee jail.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Alas, David Clarke remains Wisconsin’s shame and Wisconsin’s shame alone.

    • But sadly not wisconsin’s ONLY shame.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Eddie Munster and Snot Walker. Hey, there you go, there’s a reboot series for ya! Walker’s Psycho Ranger!

        In the eyes of a psycho,
        The denizens of the Reich know,
        Sheriff Dave’s the executioner in town…
        Oh, the eyes of a psycho are upon you,
        Any move you make, he’ll shoot you down,
        And Paul will take your healthcare ’cause he wants to,
        But Scott is just a dopey, lying clown.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Suttree

    When you are too crazy for a position in the Turnip Administration, you might want to go home and STFU.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey glad to see you here, hope everything is ok.

    • Explody Brain

      Being too crazy for the Trump administration should come with a revocation of firearms rights.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Is Erdrogan hiring?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    One pretty consistent sign that you’re dealing with a murderous, fascist scumbag is that exaggerated air of ‘devotion to duty’ and aggrieved moral rectitude. It comes off this fuckstick in waves so thick I can hardly breathe, And that’s just looking at the photos.

  • Michael Smith

    I think the vetting committee came across his various Disqus profiles and were like “Wow, his accounts keep showing up on something called Dear Shit Fer Brains.”

  • Wild Cat

    “Welcome to the Administration, Sheriff Clark. The bucket and broom are in the closet over there. Please be sure you leave town by 6 pm or there may be trouble.”

  • ServantToTheStars

    I can’t look at that mug without thinking of 70’s bush.

    • Me not sure

      I dated a curly haired special ed. teacher with black hair in the seventies. Say no more!

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Why? What did W. look like in the 70s?

  • Predisenting Ron

    I’m assuming he turned down the position of ‘Assistant Secretary for Office of Partnership and Engagement/State and Local Law Enforcement’ when he found out it didn’t involve him running around and shooting people he didn’t like.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      You may be right:
      “believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.

      Maybe Clarke wants whatever job Jack Bauer had?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I remember in the Before Times when everyone wasn’t just so horrifying. I miss Barack Obama.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Before Times, ha. I’m reminded of the survivor’s calendar in Riddley Walker’s post-apocalypse world. They figured it was approximately 349 OC (our count).

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    M. Bison hasn’t aged well at all.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Really, shouldn’t this guy and Allen West put together a thrash-metal country band and take it on the road?

  • Me not sure

    The crazier he gets, the darker his beard gets. We are now at “condition black hole”.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Is that picture off or is he saluting with the wrong hand?

      • Me not sure

        Who could say?

  • Me not sure

    The crazier he gets the darker his beard gets. We are now at “condition black hole”.

    • Boojum

      Does the carpet match the ivy around the bat cave?

      • Me not sure

        Lemme know when you find out.

        • Boojum


  • bumfug

    Don’t feel bad for the sheriff, he’s already got the uniform for a great job as a doorman at Trump Tower.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sheriff Clarke is 100 percent committed to the success of President Trump and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.

    Oh, Christ, he’s going to stalk the witnesses to Donald’s collusion, isn’t he?

    • theblackdog

      Maybe he’s the one Putin is going to send out to “take care” of the Russia collusion case

    • phoenix00

      Don’t count out “Second Amendment Solution”

  • Boojum

    Legal constituted republic…doesn’t he mean reconstituted from concentrate republic?

    • Three Finger Salute

      More like constipated republic. Braggadocious assholes like him and the rest of the Gold Nugget administration are full of shit.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Well now he’ll have more time to work on the flair collection for his uniform.

  • Juan de Fuca

    The only sheriff who wears more trinkets on his uniform than a U.S Special Forces troop. There’s a term for people like Sheriff Clarke in the military – PX Ranger.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Idi Amin would look at this asshole and go “Duuude, tone it down a notch.”

      • Juan de Fuca

        There are times when I wish I could run into that clown if for no other reason than to give him an eye-roll and pray he has me arrested. Here’s my DD-214. Release that to the media and on your FB account while you’re at it.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I like it! xD

  • Paperless Tiger

    He’s too busy investigating who pees in his Wheaties every damn day.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      That one on his left with the bar stripe across it – that’s the one for his dignity, right?

  • ken_kukec

    Maybe those diplomats at DHS should go work in the actual diplomatic corps, since the Trump State Dept’s even shorter-handed than Homeland Security.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sheriff Clarke’s high standards mean he won’t be accepting any jobs where he doesn’t wear a snappier uniform than he does now. He was so hoping he’d be appointed Deputy Undersecretary of Power Rangers.

    • phoenix00

      He’d be too deplorable for the Power Rangers

  • Nockular cavity

    You know who else told his country to wake up…

  • rubikcube

    Corrupt asshat with Russian ties says, “”….

    • Three Finger Salute

      Oh, is that the style of chapeau he wears? 😉

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Obama was the ding-dang *worst* Fascist-Communist Dictator evers.

    • Three Finger Salute

      But Hitler was a National SOCIALIST, so therefore, it totally is possible to be both a Fascist and a Communist! And even though Karl Marx hated religion, Obama wanted to redistribute the wealth from Christians to Muslims through the jizya, and from the white race to “his people” with reparations, so see, it totally is possible to be a Marxist Muslim! He wasn’t even born here! He was born in Hawaii, which everyone knows is just an island somewhere in the Pacific! I don’t even think it’s a real place! Hawaii Five-O was FAKE NEWS cooked up by George Soros and the elite liberals in Hollywood! Obama took over Real America and President Trump will round up all the SJW snowflakes and take it back! MAGA SNACKBAR PRAISE KEK !!!!!1111!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        *golf clap* Not bad, but needz Moar Homosexxican Slurs. 8.5.

        • HarpyLibtart

          I have to agree – no true wingnut would be able to rant that long without at least one allusion to the sinister gay cabals of doom, lol

  • Bitter Scribe

    Hey, give Clarke a break about those 307 pins! Do you know how hard it was for him to eat all that Cracker Jack?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD His toilet knows.

    • SeeTrain65

      How many elderly veterans’ homes did he have to perform illegal searches on to steal confiscate all those medals?

      EDIT: It was this or a dumb one about “his TGI Friday’s job must be going well.” But I’m in a particularly pissy mood today.

  • Randy Riddle

    “…and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.”

    The job would have scaled back his FoxNews appearances???

    • Three Finger Salute

      It would have conflicted with his plan to run over Black Lives Matter protesters in the street while simultaneously complaining to Tucker Carlson about black on black crime. Even he hasn’t unlocked the special Schrodinger’s Sheriff power… yet.

  • peteywheats

    Maybe somebody on Team Trump realized the last thing they need is another lying fascist POS with tons of smiley vacation photos in front of the Kremlin.

    • Three Finger Salute

      They only wanted him initially because he’s “their African-American.”

      • Rickyphoo

        Along with Bed Carson, they would have TWO! Then they could point at them and say, “See, we’re not a bunch of fucking racists.”

        Too bad, Clarke spoiled their plan by being too fucking crazy for even the trump administration.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    “Sheriff Clarke is no longer being considered for a position within DHS. Bless his heart. We wish him well.”

  • whitroth

    One more possibility: this Big Trump Supporter sees the writing on the wall, and doesn’t want to go down with him.

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      How about “Big Trump Supporter sees the writing on the wall and doesn’t have a clue about what it says or means.”

      Makes more sense to me in terms of “Trump Supporters,” which I think can be purchased in the young boys’ underwear section.

  • Grokenstein

    Sheriff Clarke is 100 percent committed to the success of President Trump and believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role.

    Clarke doesn’t need an “aggressive role.” Ol’ Sherf Mad Dog brings all the aggro he’ll ever need to any role.

  • Relativicus

    Oh, so Clarke is against state and local police enforcing federal immigration law? I’d heard differently…

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Go ahead “sheriff”, stick another pin on yourself because you seem to be done.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    He finally realized he would have to move to Washington DC and there are too many black people there for his liking.

  • Zyxomma

    Must be.

  • I know a joke

    Maybe another one of his deputies crippled someone again, and he has to go frame the victim. Again.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Sheriff Clarke: an angry black guy and participation trophy enthusiast that right wingers can get behind!

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      How about: “Sheriff Clarke” an angry black guy that white right wingers can take advantage of (my apologies for the dangling preposition — but it’s bigger than Trump’s).

  • Incoming Ham

    Is there a class on Tweeting While Unstable? Meets a door down from the Meth ward?

    • phoenix00

      Ye Main Tenant at 1600 Pennsylvania holds said classes when he’s not golfing.

  • Sharon Cooper

    This might be the One Good Decision made by this administration, folks.

  • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

    No job was actually ever offered. The tentative offer was conditioned on passing drug testing, receiving ethics training, and establishing the lack of financial conflict of interest.

    • Tiny kaiju

      That would be a first for just about anyone in the Mango Shitgibbon’s administration.

  • Moar Wordz
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