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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

The USS Franklin was struck by a Japanese merchant ship Saturday, leaving the Captain critically injured and seven sailors dead.

A van has rammed into a group of pedestrians in North London, killing one person and wounding 10 others in an apparent terrorist attack on Muslims.

A 17-year-yold Muslim girl from Virginia’s DC suburbs was kidnapped and killed after leaving a diner, and police are investigating the incident as a possible hate-crime.

TRUMP IS NOT UNDER INVESTIGATION, so stop saying he’s under investigation, even if you’re literally quoting him word-for-word when he says he’s being investigated. It’s a witch hunt, but it’s not a special investigative witch hunt — don’t you people watch Law and Order? Just listen to Kellyanne Conway!

Why was Paul Manafort meeting with a Ukrainian business associate who served in the Russian military? Oh, money. A shit load of money. NEVERMIND!

Congressional Republicans are desperate for a win on TrumpCare, even going so far as using shrapnel from the shooting of Republican Rep. Steve Scalise as props to guilt-trip members into a vote.

Trump has drafted an E.O. that would let him “You’re Fired” Robert Mueller, but tucked deep inside this same article is a nugget about how much Trump really hates being president.

If they even bother to show up, tech CEOs have to share a room with Trump and Peter Thiel and try not to vomit during a conversation about modernizing government technology later today. [Archive]

Six people on the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS have “You’re Fired” themselves over Trump’s lack of commitment to HIV/AIDS policy and are stating that “Trump doesn’t care about HIV. We’re outta here.”

Vets injured before 9/11 are routinely denied caregiver services due to freedom not being free for quadriplegic grandpas.

Employees of a child care facility for special needs children run by Arkansas Republican state Rep. Dan Sullivan have been fired after a child died in a van. Sullivan has been calling for deregulation of the childcare industry. There’s no joke here.

The NRA has been oddly quiet lately. With another mass shooting, and acquittal of yet another cop who killed a black man, it really makes you think about what they’re up to.

The Georgia special election is tomorrow, and it’s going to be a nail biter, so a PAC for Republican Karen Handel is basically accusing Ossoff of shooting Rep. Steve Scalise in Alexandria last week. Real classy.

A new campaign in Colorado wants to ban smartphones for children, saying they turn kids into creepy, low-energy losers and loners whose only interaction with the outside world is through Pokemon Go.

The anti-gay March for Marriage drew 47 people to DC, a turnout so pathetic that it doesn’t seem like anybody bothered to send a reporter.

Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke has “rescinded his acceptance” as assistant secretary for DHS which is just a murderer’s way of sounding smart, and not like A Idiot.

Some California hipsters stole $300,000 worth of avocados, but really, bro, do you even know how expensive avocado toast is at the locally grown free-trade vegan cafe if you don’t have your parents’ credit card?

Illinois Republican Gov. Bruce Rauner is dragging legislators back to the state capital and locking them in a room until they agree to his bullshit budget cuts that want to hack and slash social programs that haven’t been funded in over two years.

Not America thinks they can rely on Congress to keep the world in balance which is funny as hell because the only thing anyone in Congress can agree on his how much they hate Ted Cruz.

Prince Kushner is packing his Kevlar for a trip to the Middle East to finally bring peace between Israel and Palestine.

GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! Your new Not American boyfriend, French President Emmanuel Macron is projected to win 355 of 577 seats in Parliament, a massive win for frogmen everywhere (and a hilarious and embarrassing defeat for the veiled neo-Nazis in Marine Le Pen’s National Front).

The Mexican government has been using US/Israeli spyware to illegally monitor critics because political dissidents are bad for the business of drugs cartels.

Former commanders and military scholars are bitching that Trump and the Pentagon don’t have a plan, despite sending thousands more troops to Afghanistan, and they’re just running around flailing their arms in a desperate attempt to look productive.

Trump spent Father’s Day tweeting about his poll numbers, haters, and his failures while he dragged his robed ass around yelling at cable news shows.

Megyn Kelly’s interview with Alex Jones was far more brutal than everyone initially thought after she called him out for being a lying, manipulative conspiracy theorist, so of course the crazies are insisting she edited the footage to make Jones look like a fat, repugnant turd in a tin-foil hat.

Counter-terrorism expert Malcom Nance demanded an apology from Breitbart editor Alex Marlow on Bill Maher after receiving death threats from a Breitbart article; naturally Goebbels Marlow threw a tempter tantrum. [Video]

The Student Press Law Center has been busting their butts lately to help student journalists write about things their schools try to censor, and they deserve more than a hearty hug.

The rivalry between the NYTimes and WaPo editors Dean Baquet and Marty Barron is the most adorable nerd fight ever, and we want tickets and popcorn for that pocket-protected slap fight.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! John Oliver splainered the idiotic idea that coal is “clean”; Chelsea Handler had some brutal Father’s Day advice for Ivanka; Bill Maher wants America to shop smart at S-Mart to bring jobs back.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! RED PANDA nom noms! YYAAAASSSSS!

GIVE US MONEY (please) and we’ll give you words, and splainerings, and cute, nice-time animal babies. Deal?

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  • BadKitty904

    Dang, Dominic. What’s in your coffee this AM, maaan?!?1 You’re a NEWS DYNAMO!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      #truth

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap
    • Msgr_MΩment

      which one was “you’re fired”?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Tiffany.

    • cmd resistor

      I found myself hoping Baron actually had a nice time at Camp David, doing outdoorsy stuff or something.

      • starfanglednut

        Ikr? That poor kid.

        • cmd resistor

          I saw he was wearing soccer clothes as they left DC. I figured he’d appreciate the place more than his father. Also, too, Melania’s parents supposedly went along. I’m SURE Barron and and his dad had several games of “catch” or something.

          • starfanglednut

            Ugh. Narcissists make such terrible parents. That poor kid. I hope Melania gets him some therapy on the sly.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, hiding in the woods avoiding dad could make for an outdoorsy day.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      A Animøøse once bit my sister…

      • Oblios_Cap

        I heard that Bullwinkle had gone off the deep end…

        • BadKitty904

          No realli!

      • coozledad

        “Anima ” means great aunt.

        • BadKitty904

          I thought that was a type of Japanese cartoon.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Animus is the state of binge watching a bunch of Japanese cartoons.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Prince Kushner is packing his Kevlar for a trip to the Middle East to finally bring peace between Israel and Palestine.

    Well, as a Jewish he does have the right of return. Maybe he’s getting out while he still can.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    It’s all a matter of perspective. 47 people is a lousy turn-out for your anti-butt sechs marriage march, but I was quite pleased with half that number for my pro-butt sechs sex party.

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω
  • BadKitty904
  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Donny – take notes.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He wouldn’t take advice from a woman.

  • memzilla Ω
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Is it selfish to say I’ll give Rauner a small, begrudging bit of respect if he signs HB 1785?

    Well, I just did, so he better not stab me in the back. I didn’t call him a spit roasted shit goblin and used his name.

    • This implies Rauner has the intention of actually doing something other than giving the appearance of actually doing something.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        I know. Fuck, I’d even be happy if he ignored it and just let it sail through.

        I don’t even need the fucker given I’m up for surgery at some point this year, but it’d be a NOT terrible thing to do for once.

        Yeah, I’m hoping for a shred of humanity in the executive equivalent of a LOTR orc.

  • coozledad

    Let’s do some crimes!

    I know. We’ll steal an assload of avocados and sell ’em!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Trump really hates being president.

    Finally! Something Donald Trump and I have in common.

    • MrTusks

      “He doesn’t want to be the second president in history to resign.”

      Don’t worry, Donnie, you won’t be.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Just how horrible can some people be about using the baseball shooting for their own agenda? Pretty horrible. From a story on the GA 06 election.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/paloma/daily-202/2017/06/19/daily-202-congressional-shooting-clouds-final-days-of-georgia-special-election/5946e314e9b69b2fb981dd76/?tid=ss_tw&utm_term=.cc3c1420768c

    Brad Carver is chairman of the Republican Party in the neighboring 11th Congressional District, which is represented by Barry Loudermilk, a member of the GOP baseball squad who was on the scene during last Wednesday’s shooting. “I’ll tell you what: I think the shooting is going to win this election for us,” Carver said Saturday after a get-out-the-vote rally for Handel in Chamblee. “Because moderates and independents in this district are tired of left-wing extremism. I get that there’s extremists on both sides, but we are not seeing them. We’re seeing absolute resistance to everything this president does. Moderates and independents out there want to give him a chance. Democrats have never given this president a chance.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      “We’re seeing absolute resistance to everything this president does.”
      Merrick Garland would like a word.

      • Oblios_Cap

        If he’d stop doing horrible things that might lighten up.

      • cmd resistor

        I heard Joe Biden interviewed last week on Fresh Air. He was talking about Garland and how he had called GOP Senators — he mentioned the number 14, I guess people he had relations with. And they all told him, yeah, Joe, you are absolutely right, but if I do anything the Koch brothers will dump tons of money on a candidate to oppose me. Sucks so bad.

        • ariel_gee_398

          And proof that our elected representatives care more about job security than representing their constituents.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      NPR begs to differ.

      I will give the GOP credit, this hole “I may be a shitlord, but the libtards shouldn’t be mean to meeeeee” strategy is fucking gutsy.

      • coozledad

        Mark Walker is even claiming to have been there during the Reichstag fire shooting.

        Think of what a grotesque you have to be to see this as a political opportunity, and then think what these thugs are capable of.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Fuck this whole idea that opposing Trump is some sort of extreme left-wing position. Everyone should be absolutely fucking appalled at his corruption and incompetence, regardless of what they think about his policies.
      Which are also fucking appalling.

    • bupkus231

      “…I get that there’s extremists on both sides, but we are not seeing them….”

      That’s because you’re willfully blind to anything that contradicts your fucking “message”.

    • cmd resistor

      Answer: Pretty damned horrible.

      • Oblios_Cap

        They’re worse than canned clams.

        • From Russia with Love

          Well, if you had to, if you really had to, you could eat a Republican.

          • Marion in Savannah

            I suppose, but be sure not to eat the brain or spinal cord. Mad Legislator Disease…

  • memzilla Ω
  • Nounverb911
    • Lori

      That hedgehog must be a lot more mellow than the one we have in the children’s department of the library. Ours has relaxed a lot since she arrived (she’s a rescue), but there is no way she’d put up with having stuff put on her.

      • NastyBossetti

        Yeah, I had a hedgehog as a pet, and she would not have stood for this. She was sure she was cute enough already.

        • Wild Cat

          Well, the Japanese give Xanax25 to their hedgehogs.
          There’s little we can do.

        • Lori

          Yeah, I’m pretty sure that if we even suggested ours needed to be cuter everyone involved with leave with a spin in the hand. She’s sweet, but she does not take shit from anyone :)

    • It saddens me that I don’t have enough cute hedgehog videos.

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    God, I’m exhausted. Good thing this week is almost o…

    Fuck, it’s only Monday?! It’s like one morning is six months in Trump Years.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I would think that the Scalise shooting would actually have a cooling effect on Trumpcare “reform”: if you think your constituents are angry at you now, just wait until you’ve bankrupted them and killed members of their family (with votes).

    Folks tend not to appreciate being killed off so that the rich can get richer (although most Republicans seem to be OK with that idea because… Supply Side Jesus? Terminal stupidity? Catastrophic Bigotry?

    I can’t. I really, really just cannot.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think the people in the UK might have reached a breaking point with Grenfell Tower – 80 people or more dead because the government only gave a fuck about the rich. I would hope that this bill might be the breaking point for Americans, but I don’t have enough faith in our political self-awareness.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Before Brexit I had more hope, but here’s hoping that the UK has more sense than we do, and they turn tragedy into positive action.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Well, it was a while ago, but after the awful mass shooting of children in a school in Scotland, they reformed their laws on gun ownership and have avoided future tragedies. There’s at least a hope…

        • Oblios_Cap

          The EU has told them it’s not too late to do a rethink.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        The British Government will be giving £5500 to each family who lost their homes in the fire. By a strange coincidence, the extra cost of providing non-flammable cladding on Grenfell Tower has been estimated at £5000.

        • ariel_gee_398

          But hey, at least that eyesore was made more attractive, right?

    • Lori

      You’re not looking at this the GOPer way. They are now even more determined to pass TrumpDon’tCareAboutNobodyButTheRich in order to show the all-important resolve in the face of terror.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        I try never to look at things the GOPer way.

        It kills me a little inside just to try.

        • Lori

          I can’t decide if it hurts me more to try to anticipate their actions by thinking like them or to be blindsided by each asshole maneuver they pull.

    • Marceline

      That’s why they want to double down on that “violent leftist” talking point. That way they can blame us even if their own constituents come after them. Also conservatives care more about their tribalism than their own lives. They’d happily burn down their own home with their kids inside if they thought the liberal down the street would choke on the smoke.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Sadly, I agree with your assessment.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Herd spines. They don’t have individual spines.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        THIS! This is it exactly.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      “Anyone can be president.”
      “Someday I’ll be rich (says the old guy barely scraping by).”
      “If the president doesn’t read (above My Pet Goat) I don’t need books either.”

      Guys, your buddy can’t get you that sweet simple job because he doesn’t have one either, and Scalise’s medical bills would be in the millions without congressional insurance. Things will get bumpy.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump and the Pentagon don’t have a plan, despite sending thousands more troops to Afghanistan

    As long as munitions are being fired and needing to be replaced, there is no need for a plan.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Trump’s plans are like the children of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. On the surface they sound happy, but if they ever existed they would be a horrible abomination.

  • Wild Cat

    Again, I woke up, got on my knees, and thanked God that Susan Sarandon has Cadillac health-care coverage.
    Then I realized I had to take a leak real bad.

  • Nounverb911

    This from the Mayor of London::
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/876794322636730368

    and from May:
    **Crickets**

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Is she having a “meh, deranged white guy, not terrorism” American moment?

      • vivian

        No, just the usual unadulterated cowardice of not wanting to alienate her far-right supporters.

        edit: oh wait, those are the same thing

    • From Russia with Love

      To be fair, she’s got a lot of wounds to lick.

      Mostly self inflicted.

    • She did respond. I’m no fan of hers, but she’s no trump.

  • La forza del resistino

    Lost track of the # of dead people and asshole people in wonkagenda. glad I chose sommelier school over journalism. cheers Dominic, you deserve it.

  • Me not sure

    A US and Japanese ship collide and seven sailors die, while this President can’t even be bothered to appoint a Secretary of the Navy or Ambassador to Japan to deal with the situation. Those positions remain vacant.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He doesn’t do weekends.

    • Anna Rompage

      Come on, what does the secretary of the navy really do besides look cute, bring her boss coffee in the morning, take his spiffy looking uniforms to the dry cleaners, and to be his mistress…

      • From Russia with Love

        The service secretaries are shoe clerks (much like the Joint Staff), so you are on to something here.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I believe that the container ship was Philippine-flagged but since the collision happened in Japanese waters Japan will investigate. Trump will only investigate if some of those containers were carrying Ivanka stuff. Otherwise, screw it.

      • Me not sure

        So correct.

      • cmd resistor

        Also, too, I think the container ship is owned by a Japanese company, NYK?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      He has nominated someone for SECNAV (his second choice, because the first one said “LOL NOPE not divesting my stuff”). But the nominee is connected with just about every investment bank on the planet so it’s taking a long time to fill out the ethics paperwork.

      • Pilotshark

        well we know his SF-86 was pretty easy, all he had to put down was ,, I don`t remember, I forgot about that one, etc…
        so guess the ethics just takes a few days longer.

  • Mpeg

    Are Monday wonkagendas always this much extra-extra,read-all-about-it? Because weekend headline catch-up?

  • ManchuCandidate

    BTW it is the USS Fitzgerald not Franklin.

    The aircraft carrier USS Franklin was pretty much wiped out after being hit with two bombs on a fully loaded deck in 1945 and never brought back into active service.

    • PubOption

      Note to would be Gordon Lightfoots. The wreck of USS Fitzgerald fits and scans.

  • Nounverb911
    • Marceline

      It’s best he doesn’t. The more he tweets about himself, the more he digs his own grave.

      • Lori

        Also, it’s virtually guaranteed that anything his did say about the London attack would be heartless & brainless & cause more harm than good. Those people have suffered enough, they don’t need to be hit with Trump’s stupid mouth too.

        • cmd resistor

          He can’t even manage a few words for the dead sailors. For sure no sympathy for foreign Muslims.

      • From Russia with Love

        Let me buy that man a bigger shovel!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    When are vegans finally going to take Personal Responsibility to step up as one and condemn these avocado thieves?

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      #notallvegans!

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Turn out your pockets, and vegan faux leather bag. This is a checkpoint, you thieving vegan.

      • Ωbjectifier

        #yesallvegans!

    • cmd resistor

      So should I hire armed guards for my avocado tree?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If it’s hipster thieves, just put some Pabst Blue Ribbon and American Spirit tobacco in a rat trap.

        • cmd resistor

          Is Pabst Blue Ribbon a hipster thing? My dad, who wasn’t all THAT picky about cheap beer, thought it was gross. His favorite was Blatz, though. Something he would get in Milwaukee and not available in Florida.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It is. Hipsters like things that are retro and kind of fucked up. Blatz would totally be the hipster beer of choice if you could actually find it anywhere.

          • cmd resistor

            My dad would buy a case when we’d go up to visit my grandparents, then bring back the bottles the next year (deposit bottles) and get another case. He grew up Milwaukee, and I remember seeing neon Blatz signs in the taverns even as an adult.

          • aureolaborealis
  • Nounverb911
  • Mpeg

    Anyone else nursing a Twin Peaks hangover this morning?
    Back on topic: …. wait, I am still narrowing down which topic from above I want to pick..

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Dudleydidwrong

      But…but…Handel is Georgia’s messiah, isn’t she? Hallalujah!

      • Lori

        You forgot to update your talking points sheet again. The correct response today is “But..but..VIOLENT LEFTISTS!!!”

      • cmd resistor

        Must be — Trump said in today’s tweet we should vote for her.

      • starfanglednut

        Handel. Messiah. Iswydt.

      • PubOption

        She’s hoping for some (royal) fireworks tonight.

        • Querolous

          Water music provided by Russian pee-hookers?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Joy Reid interviewed Greg Pallast this weekend. He said Handel has been on the cutting edge of voter disenfranchisement in Georgia for years. A Korean-American voter registration organization was recently raided and activists threatened with arrest.

    • bupkus231

      I don’t get it. The press release Fiorentino posts is from 2010, yet here it is the DAY BEFORE the special election. This smacks of desperation.

    • arglebargle

      So, Republican.

  • bookish

    IntelBrief. THe Soufan Center. info@thesoufancenter.org

    ANOTHER ATTACK IN LONDON

    Bottom Line Up Front:

    • On June 18, a man drove a van into a crowd outside a London mosque, the latest in a string of recent attacks in the UK.

    • Initial reports suggest the attack, which killed one person and injured at least 10, was anti-Muslim in nature.

    • Attacks and reprisal attacks are a hallmark of groups such as the Islamic State, causing neighbors to fear and hate each other.

    • Government and community leaders across the West must ensure that inclusive efforts premised on unity and outreach across religious and ethnic lines are equally, if not more, relentless than the efforts of those trying to tear societies apart.

    One of the unacknowledged victims of recent terror attacks in London and Manchester is the sense of latent community that exists in multicultural environments. In London and elsewhere in the UK, terrorism and hate crimes have historically been rare. Yet there has been a spike in both terrorism—the Westminster Bridge attack in March, the Manchester bombing in May, and London Bridge attack in June—and hate crimes in the aftermath. Though each of the terror attacks the UK has witnessed were committed by individuals, the blame has largely been cast on entire communities, ethnicities, and religions. Once a pattern of attack followed by reprisal based on ethnicity or religion takes root at any meaningful level, the consequences for government and society are severe.

    On June 18, a man drove a van into a crowd of people outside a mosque in London. Initial reports indicate that one person was killed and 10 were injured in the attack, though it is unclear if the death was caused by the attack or a medical issue just before the incident. What is more clear, however, is that the incident was yet another terror attack in the UK, with the same goal of terrorizing a community. According to witnesses, the driver—who was detained by the crowd—shouted that he wanted to kill Muslims. The British government is treating the incident as a terror attack.

    There is a real concern that periodic terror attacks will fully divide communities that are already under stress. The goals of groups like the so-called Islamic State—to generate fear, division, hate, and violence—are also the goals of white supremacist groups. Such groups espouse the same basic ‘us versus them’ violent rhetoric; they differ only in their flags. In Iraq, groups like the Islamic State exploited divisions in communities in order to gain a foothold and then total power in some areas. Terror attacks in Iraq would lead to reprisal attacks in an escalating pattern that has persisted for well over a decade at varying levels. Targeted murders led to revenge murders and then to the wholesale killing of people based on warped but powerful sectarian or ideological arguments. As the violence increased, the nuance of rhetoric decreased, and in the end it became a campaign of dehumanization and persecution.

    The situation in London and elsewhere in the West is nowhere near that level of divisiveness. A responsive and effective government—along with the absence of a foreign military invasion and resulting civil war—that protects all citizens is the most important factor in determining how long the cycle of attack and reprisal continues. Yet it is within separate sub-communities—which form the overall larger community of a city—that the power to determine how deep the cycle of attack and reprisal will be. Once communities tolerate blaming a collective group for acts of individual madness, the situation has decayed to an extent that reversing the path is very difficult—such divisions tend to last for years. Fortunately, in the UK and elsewhere in the West, the vast majority of community and government leaders understand the gravity of the situation, as well as the need for public outreach and unity that is equal in its relentlessness as the efforts of those seeking to tear societies apart.

    • Wild Cat

      It’s too early to talk about cars. Let’s just pray.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        And think. Thoughts and prayers. They’re magic.

        • Wild Cat

          They sure helped the 120,000,000 Europeans killed in white-on-white violence in the 20th c.

    • Persistent Demme

      I can’t think of anyone better able to cope with this than the British.
      They are tough as nails.
      Strong leaders are helpful, but not necessary. (Good thing for us and them.)
      Individuals know that the community is everything.
      They know it in their bones.
      They are at their very best, when things are at their worst.

  • Rick Hill

    Issa bessaboul being bery good now?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aB89z1P_700b.jpg

  • Randy Riddle
    • CogitoErgoBibo
      • cmd resistor

        We went to a Father’s Day thing last night and since it was a work night were leaving before they ate the cake. They insisted we take slices of cake home. So although the original plan was to eat it today we decided since there was a good chance the world would be blown up by morning we would eat it last night.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Well it’s always a good time for cake, but I can understand the urgency.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          “We let them eat cake? Who authorized that?”
          -Steve “The Hut” Bannon.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        I know, right?

    • MynameisBlarney

      And last few months of 2016 too!

      • William
        • Mildred Broxon

          During the Reagan administration I received a fundraising letter from the Republicans (thanking me for my support–they must have been hallucinating). I wrapped up a lot of lead foil from wine bottles and put it in their postage-paid envelope. Never heard from them again.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          Is he single? Asking for a friend.

        • Little Lulu Ω

          P.S. And do it today!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    And this also too:

    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/syrian-fighter-jet-shot-down-us-aircraft-self-defense-pentagon/

    “Syrian fighter jet shot down by U.S. aircraft in self-defense, Pentagon says”

    Syrian regime SU-22 dropped bombs near the U.S.-backed fighters at 6:43 p.m. and was immediately shot down by a U.S. F/A-18E Super Hornet, the Pentagon said in a statement. It was shot down “in accordance with rules of engagement and in collective self-defense of Coalition partnered forces.”

    • Saw that, I wasn’t able to include it. This broke about two hours ago.
      http://www.reuters.com/article/us-mideast-crisis-syria-usa-russia-defen-idUSKBN19A1FJ

      • Anna Elizabeth

        No criticism intended, Dominic. The news in Donnie Two-Scoops regime is a shit storm all day, every day.

        • Oh, I didn’t even register that as criticism. I caught the story, but there’s always a number of things I just can’t get to. TBH, it was a choice between Syria and Arkansas, but Syria also req. troop deployments, and a story about Mosul. Arkansas was just heartbreaking and needed some attention. It’s like a pick your poison thing. :/

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I hear that.

          • cmd resistor

            What is it with Arkansas politicians and running sleazy day cares (memories of Justin Harris).

  • Ryan Denniston

    Oh good, we shot down a Syrian aircraft and the Russians are pissed. Of course, I would discount the importance of Her Emails, now wouldn’t I?

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/06/su-22-down

  • The Wanderer

    Fuck the news, I’m going to spend the day looking at red pandas.

  • Nounverb911
  • Ryan Denniston

    Trump, you can always resign or tell Ryan you don’t wanna be preznit no more.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • TJ Barke

    So, is Suttree okay or do we know yet?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yes Hun. Dok got a hold of a dispatcher and they did a safety check and Suttree was OK.

      • TJ Barke

        Good.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        WHAT? Wtf happened?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Last night, it seemed like Suttree might have overdone it on his pain meds. We were all worried, and Dok Zoom used his eMail and such to get help, and Suttree was OK, thank goodness. :)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thank God. And poor Dok…happy birthday.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            He told us to razz Suttree when we see him. :D

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That’s the Wonkette spirit.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            …And on the subject of looking out for one another, how are you doing, Anna?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’m good Hun, thank you. I supposedly have a date for lunch today, we’ll see.

            ~hugs~

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            This is why I love the Wonkettariot. Sure, we do all love a good dick joke, but we actually care about each other. Glad it turned out okay.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Fer Shure. :) @Suse had an idea to do a voluntary Buddy Up list, to make it easier to get in contact if people are scared. I imagine we will get that started today.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            That’s a great idea. It’s kind of not great that this thing (or versions thereof) come up with enough frequency to consider it, but it’s definitely a “rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it” item.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Exactly. We can use https://getnada.com throwaway eMail to get in touch for Anypony that wants to participate.

          • William Cook for now.

            Yeah, it was a much needed shot of Faith in Humanity.

          • Persistent Demme

            Good!
            Phew!

        • TJ Barke

          Last night he was typing in gibberish, and someone figured out he probably mixed up/od’d on his pain meds, and we(mostly other, more competent people) were trying to figure out how to get some help to him.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            It’s very easy, actually, to take a pill, and not remember that you already took one. They play tricks with your memories. Also, thanks to generics, I have 3 different oblong white pills in similar bottles that look exactly alike.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Oh, I hate it when that happens. As it used to twice a day for me until my doc cut back on the glipizide, because I’m losing weight and don’t need as much stuff to keep my type II in check!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ That’s why I like @Suse idea of a Buddy Up list.

          • Persistent Demme

            Thank goodness!

  • Marion in Savannah

    Oh, that amount of squee was needed this morning. (And they behave just like my cats — move over, Mom put the good food in YOUR dish…)

  • rubikcube

    Jay Suk-u-Low-Time is having trouble reconciling the beginning of his sentences with the end…

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’s Trump material, that’s for sure.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    A new campaign in Colorado wants to ban smartphones for children, saying they turn kids into creepy, low-energy losers and loners whose only interaction with the outside world is through Pokemon Go.

    This is really fucking scary, and I don’t think it’s about zombie kids at all.

    Although whites, blacks and Hispanics have similar rates of smartphone ownership, minorities tend to rely more heavily on their phone for internet access, according to Pew Research Center’s recent report on smartphone adoption. Some 13% of Hispanics and 12% of blacks are smartphone-dependent, meaning they don’t have a broadband connection at home and have few options for going online other than their cellphone. In comparison, only 4% of white smartphone owners rely heavily on their cellphone for online access.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/87cc09572b600fd13d17f58f138fc2b68a62f5df3e839e1abd31b5f571e15c78.png

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I am so glad over here broadband internet is available everywhere and very cheap too.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Obvs, you are living in a socialist hellhole, not in some glorious Mammon-worshiping “free” state that charges you an arm and a leg for a shitty broadband connection that is subject to metering to get to sites not fully owned by the provider.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          So how much do you pay? I pay 45 a month for 150 / 15 Mbit/s internet, Digital HD TV plus a HD receiver recorder that allows me to watch things like Netflix and HBO and record shows..

          • janecita

            I pay $230 a month for cable and internet. Netflix is extra (I use my friend’s password though)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Excuse me while I pick up my jaw from the ground. Ziggo (my cable company) went on to merge with my cell phone provider (Vodafone) resulting in my 34 euro a month cell subscription was upped to unlimited data and minutes.

          • Predisenting Ron

            The companies merged and they gave you MORE?
            That’s… that’s UNAMERICAN!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yes and it gave them a shitload of new customers. for some reason Dutch people like their business to go to companies that givez moar.

          • Oblios_Cap

            We’re not quite a developed country yet. it appears it may take us a few more decades to get there.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Ofcourse it is way easier in The Netherlands as a small country to have broadband everywhere plus we are the HUB for the entire EU so go figure but still. 230 a month for just tv and interent? DAMN!

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I’m $225 a month for cable and interwebs. It’s a thing in the US. And not a good thing.

          • Yeah but getting rid of net neutrality will make everything cheap and affordable again.

          • Predisenting Ron

            Ye gods and little fishes… for that I’d expect every byte to be 14K gold-plated and hand-delivered by messenger.

          • janecita

            Right? I’m about to get rid of cable, this shit is ridiculous.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            That’s really pricey. I gave up cable several years ago and do not miss it at all. I have internet only for about $75 a month. I live stream important stuff on youtube and I watch Netflix and Amazon prime.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Sportsball and the news channels (local and cable) keep me from doing that. Really hard to cobble together what I want without cable. Plus, I fear the day they start data limits on interwebs. I’d hope the outcry on even floating that idea would kill it, but I still worry.

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            There are data limits already in some parts of teh USAmerica, like where I am.

          • Jon Sussex

            $65/mo. for 0 Mbps when it rains, rain is forecast, the wind is blowing….

    • William Cook for now.

      Speaking as a poor who has had only a cellphone more often than not, yeah, this is fucking bad.

  • Ωbjectifier
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Only 115 here. Lucky me.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Slightly closer to the foothills.A brisk, bracing 108.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Nice…don’t forget your jacket.

    • BrendaKay

      Only 112 here!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      71 here!

      Thanks Canadia!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        This proves global warming is a libtard hoax, obvs.

    • My extra old father escaped Phoenix for Sedona for the week. It’s only forecast to be 110 in Sedona on Tuesday (120 or so in Phoenix).

      Thank goodness for the mountains.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He could break into McCain’s house and stay there. We pay for REALLY good AC at his place.

        • Nah, the old man just pretends he’s priviliged. He’s holed up in a little condo in Oak Creek with the golf channel, AC, and a case of bud light.

          Don’t overdue it in the heat this week A.P.I.D.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Not the worst place in the world to watch golf and get hammered, I suppose. And thanks. Gotta work all day, then play an outdoor gig this evening. Somebody pinch me.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      100 today, but incredibly hazy thanks to a couple idiots who started a 125-acre brushfire while they were out target shooting.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        We had one of those here recently…started by a fucking Border Patrol agent taking a break from deporting families to shoot some tin cans and start the desert on fire.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          It’s going to be a brutal fire season – all that moisture from the winter led to a lot of cheat grass and scrub growing. Hot, dry summer plus all that fuel is not a good combination.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Indeed. My brother was a career Forest Service employee involved with fire suppression. He always enjoyed hearing these antigovernment types howl for help when fires started getting close to their squatter Hooverville compounds.

    • janecita

      82 and humid here, I hate summer!

    • Bec Jenn

      It’s a dry heat /s There is 17% humidity. But hell, it’s dry in an oven as well. I always consider the summer as kind of like what most people consider winter, because you have to summer proof your house. But bloody hell, I’m NOT looking forward to tomorrow.

    • Doug Langley

      Say, what happened to all those “climate change is a hoax” people? Haven’t heard from them for a while.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        They are transporting snowballs to the Southwest as we speak.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Only in the 90s here, but we are expecting some seriously kick ass storms in about an hour or so.

  • bookish

    http://abc30.com/news/russia-warns-it-will-treat-us-led-coalition-jets-as-targets-after-us-downed-syrian-plane/2115685/

    The Russian Defense Ministry blasted the U.S.’ shooting down of a Syrian regime fighter jet as a “massive violation of international law” and said it will begin treating U.S.-led coalition jets flying west of the Euphrates River in Syria as targets.

    • Oblios_Cap

      What could possibly go wrong?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The only plan that should be contemplated for Afghanistan is the “get the fuck out of it” one that’s been around for like 15 years now.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      We had a chance in Afghanistan…Dubya pushed it to the back of the fridge and forgot about it so we could invade the country that wasn’t responsible for 9/11.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, the country that was responsible is run by a band of bandits associated with the Bush Crime Family, so that was right out.

      • shivaskeeper

        No one has a chance in Afghanistan. No. One. The place has been the death of empires forever.

        • Marion in Savannah

          And nobody reads Kipling any more…

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Time for the old British saucy seaside postcard from the 1930’s:
            Young man: “Do you like Kipling?”
            Young lady: “I don’t know, you naughty boy. I’ve never kippled.”

          • shivaskeeper

            Kipling’s Young British Soldier and Tommy were, among others, required reading for my troops.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            When ‘arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
            Don’t call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
            She’s human as you are – you treat her as sich,
            An’ she’ll fight for the young British soldier.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yeah, you’re right…it’s been the graveyard of every invader that’s ever been fool enough…and essentially an ungovernable place of tribal enclaves rather than a country. But we could’ve at least cleared out the Taliban and taken out Bin Laden before hightailing it out and forgetting the place even existed.

        • From Russia with Love

          Had W turned Afghanistan over to the Northern Alliance which seemed to be the plan, we could have walked away. We might even have had a semi-friendly government there for a couple of years.

          • shivaskeeper

            It wouldn’t have mattered. The Best we could have done was go in and run the search for Bin Laden as a police/FBI sort of deal with the military as the security and the muscle. Anything more than that, results in what is going on now. No one wins there, ever. The only reason there is a country there is someone drew lines on a map.

          • From Russia with Love

            Disagree. Northern Alliance fighters had marched south from a tiny foothold up against the Himalaya through most of the country by early 2002, helped in no small part by integrated US Special Forces and with the world’s best strategic and tactical (CAS) air forces at their disposal. There was no indication that they could not rout the Taliban throughout the the remainder of the country in short order.

            Then the idiocy started:
            1. W and Rummy started redeploying US forces from Afghanistan, but to Kuwait and friendly Gulf nations instead of their permanent garrisons. Even with a year to
            prepare, they almost missed their timeline for starting the war with Iraq before summer. It was March of 2003 when they had the military and geopolitical pieces in place to start the Iraq war.
            2. Bin Laden and Omar got away.
            3. Our support to the Northern Alliance disappeared when the Bush administration began nation building (the final huge misstate that still keeps us there) and threw it’s support behind Karzai.

            The alternative would have been to finish routing the Taliban, capturing or killing Bin Laden and their leadership, THEN giving the keys to the Northern Alliance and departing for good. I am under no illusion that the Northern Alliance would have remained US friendly for long, or that the Taliban would not have reconstituted itself in Pakistan or elsewhere, but we would have been out.

          • shivaskeeper

            I have no doubt we could have routed the Taliban. It would have been a hard fight in some nasty terrain, but we could have done it. The problem is always what comes next. That would have been where we lost.

            We got distracted by Iraq and turned Afghanistan into a side show, so it’s all moot at this point.

          • From Russia with Love

            As I’ve said twice, that should have been the end game. Stick OUR warlords in charge, and pack up and leave.

          • shivaskeeper

            We kind of did that in the 80’s. The muhajadeen we supported against the Russians became the Taliban. That is my point when I say there is no winning there. No matter what we do it will turn and bite us on the ass sooner or later.

          • From Russia with Love

            Admittedly, prospects for just breaking even in that part of the world are pretty slim.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    The Supreme Court announced Monday it will hear a Wisconsin case involving their 2011 redistricting plan, which was struck down by a lower court as partisan gerrymandering (under the maps, Republicans won just 49.8% of the vote but captured 60 of 99 seats).

    • ariel_gee_398

      Save us, Anthony Kennedy. You’re our only hope…

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Oh HELLZ yeah! Disenfranchisement comes in many flavors. Partisanship is one of them.

  • Predisenting Ron

    ‘Modernising government technology’

    ‘So, gentlemen, is there any way we can replace Congressmen and Senators with robots?’

    • bupkus231

      We could replace them ( the Republican ones, at least ) with bags of rocks.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Might get some sensible legislation passed in that scenario. Can’t have that.

      • TJ Barke

        Rocks would be at least as effective as the republicans, if not more.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It was examined, but determined it would be cruel to the robots.

    • Doug Langley
    • From Russia with Love

      Dildos with small hats would work just fine.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I think it’s sweet of Marty Baron to treat Dean Baquet as though they have the same job.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    In other news,…
    http://realnewsrightnow.com/2017/01/president-trump-orders-execution-five-turkeys-pardoned-obama/
    President Trump Orders the Execution of Five Turkeys Pardoned by Obama

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Turkey sandwiches for days, man.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Nah, he’s just going to hire some hookers to pee on the carcasses. Sandwiches would be too useful.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      And this asshole wonders why everyone hates his disgusting guts.

      • shivaskeeper

        You do know that is a legit fake news site?

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          I know. I had cnn.com open on another browser tab and that reading influenced my comment above.

          • shivaskeeper

            Got it. They are one of the satire sites that has no real disclaimer that they are satire so they passed off as real on occasion.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    But clearly this is not the time to talk about sensible gun control.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/876805018309013505

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We love our guns more than our own children.

    • From Russia with Love

      How about sensible bullets? Hollow points in a semiautomatic pistol is a recipe for jamming it.

      Oh, sorry, the wingnut in me expressing itself.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    If I was that Breitbart idjit, I probably wouldn’t fuck with Malcom Nance. That would be like a fight between a Doberman and a Pomeranian.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Oh, Alex was about to shit his pants when Mr. Nance told him he would stop by his office. That was funny to watch.

  • janecita

    Dear Dominic, the merchant ship was from the Philippines, it wasn’t Japanese.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Did they think the destroyer was dealing drugs?

      • janecita

        Yes, Duterte himself informed them;-)

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    “Presidentin’ is hard work”
    — 2nd worst American President

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Just start writing “Everything is terrible” and put the kittens at the top.

    kthnxbai

  • Ghenghis McCann

    There is some good news from Britain.

    Kitten Lola trapped in chimney in Liverpool for four days

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-40330259

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “We drank champagne and danced all night, then she went up the chimney.”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Have you had dates that ended like that as well?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    UGH. I’m going to hope that spontaneous combustion is to blame.
    https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/876808347147796481

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Cars burn on our freeways once a week, never makes the international news.

      • Joe Beese

        There used to be a radio DJ in my area who would gleefully announce “CAR FIRE!” whenever one featured in the afternoon traffic report.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Ours calls ’em “Car-B-Ques”

      • The Librarian

        I hear about car fires on the radio several times a week.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Daaaaaaaarn it.

    https://twitter.com/MelissaBellCNN/status/876807518198140929

    Fortunately, according to the police, the driver was arrested and no one was injured.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      There goes my “spontaneous combustion” theory…

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Considering how the French drive, it could still be a normal Road Traffic Accident.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          If this happened in Rome or Napoli, it’s just an average morning commute.

  • OppressedMass

    OT My girl-crush, Liz Warren, and young Joe Kennedy were just outside the door here at my jerb, opening a new advanced fabrics facility http://news.mit.edu/2017/affoa-launches-state-art-facility-protoyping-advanced-fabrics-0619
    She looks JUST LIKE ON TV! And she smiled at me!

    • NellCote71

      How cool!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So I’m getting the feeling that with the new Handel attack ad and the voting machines that Ossoff is headed for a loss.

    • jesterpunk

      Early voting was last week and turnout has been higher then the last election. Typically higher turnout means Democrats win but who knows.

  • Juan de Fuca

    A new campaign in Colorado wants to ban smartphones for children, saying they turn kids into creepy, low-energy losers and loners whose only interaction with the outside world is through Pokemon Go.

    I’m not pro or con smart phones for kids as I’m one of those people who believes that parents should be free to raise their children however they like. But please don’t raise them to vote for people like Donald Trump and Karen Handel is all I’m asking.

    • From Russia with Love

      Republicans probably buy their kids dumb phones.

      • Juan de Fuca

        My brother’s a republican and he bought my nephew an iPhone. Nephew is 11 years old. Any who, we enjoy talking with each other on the phone (my nephew and I – my brother wears me out) and everytime I call him my brother or sister-in-law answers the phone, screening the call. I finally asked my bro – why’d ya buy him an iPhone if you’re gonna screen all his calls? Because all the cool kids in school have iPhones is why. He’s gotta have one.

        Jesus christ.

    • Fartknocker

      Pfft. I gave my 1st daughter 40 grams of mercury and told her to make something fun with her science kit. I have an awesome thermometer. My 2nd daughter loved making guncotton when I gave her 0.12 L of 78% nitric acid. It sure saved me a lot money on my Verizon bill.

  • Joe Beese

    Just in time for the Top Gun sequel.

    Russia’s defense ministry says it will treat U.S.-led coalition planes in Syria, west of the Euphrates River, as targets after the U.S. military shot down a Syrian Air Force jet on Sunday.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/06/19/russia-warns-us-after-downing-of-syrian-jet-239706

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Putin figures why play nice with the orange asshole anymore? He can’t lift sanctions unilaterally now anyway.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ayup.

      • Apple Scruff

        Next stop — Russian pee hookers!!!

      • NellCote71

        That’s funny/true.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-russia-lawyers-idUSKBN19A1CM?feedType=RSS&feedName=newsOne&google_editors_picks=true

    A veteran federal prosecutor recruited onto special counsel Robert Mueller’s team is known for a skill that may come in handy in the investigation of potential ties between Russia and U.S. President Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign team: persuading witnesses to turn on friends, colleagues and superiors.

    Andrew Weissmann, who headed the U.S. Justice Department’s criminal fraud section before joining Mueller’s team last month, is best known for two assignments – the investigation of now-defunct energy company Enron and organized crime cases in Brooklyn, New York – that depended heavily on gaining witness cooperation.

    Securing the cooperation of people close to Trump, many of whom have been retaining their own lawyers, could be important for Mueller, who was named by the Justice Department as special counsel on May 17 and is investigating, among other issues, whether Trump himself has sought to obstruct justice. Trump has denied allegations of both collusion and obstruction.

    • Marion in Savannah

      This made me smile.

    • NastyBossetti

      That’s a special skill!

    • Claire

      “I’d like everyone to welcome our new Director of Stool Pigeons.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Other than Flynn, Lord Dampnut has shown an interest in throwing his staff under the bus. Weissman may be a good guy to have around.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Dick Cheney recommends waterboarding.

  • msanthropesmr

    AHEM:

    “a massive win for frogmen ”

    The preferred term is FROGPERSONS

    • Bobathonic

      What’s wrong with amphipersons?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        In French, it’s “personnes d’amphibiens.”

        • Querolous

          Homme-grenouille!

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Parfait, citoyen!!

  • La forza del resistino
    • Marion in Savannah

      [sigh] Going back to look at red panda cubs again…

    • Anna Rompage

      It looks like he’s trying to smuggle out a whole ham from the buffet line, inside his coat…

      That, or he’s starting to morph into the Penguin…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Two scoops of ice cream with an attorney general.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Every time I see him all I can say is, “Geezus Christ!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’ve seen Goodyear blimps more svelte than that.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Der Lumpenfurher

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        And smarter.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          And less full of gas.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Just one waffer-theen mint?”

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        ” Fuck off.”
        ” Bring me a bucket.”

    • Nounverb911
      • La forza del resistino

        happy pooches make me happy. thanks.

    • Marla

      He’s getting big. Must be nice to eat a stake every night while more and more female veterans are becoming homeless

      • NellCote71

        Don’t forget the two scoops of ice cream WITH cake or pie.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I need panda lady’s jerb.

    • NellCote71

      Yes, but the one on the right (!) must be a Repug because he keeps trying to get in everybody else’s bowl.

  • Covfefe

    Donald regularly steps on explanations offered by his minions, why can’t a Trumpling like Jay Sekulow step on something Donald says.

  • The rivalry between the NYTimes and WaPo editors Dean Baquet and Marty Barron is the most adorable nerd fight ever

    oooo will it end like the War Room?

  • Poly_Ester

    And to think, London’s problems started with Brexit. Who knew besides the sane?

  • Anna Rompage

    Theresa May finally issued a statement condemning the recent attack on Muslims in the UK….

    I was starting to wonder if her xenophobic past attitudes were going to keep her from doing so…

  • Marla

    Was nice seeing that fat fuck Jone$ squirm throughout his lies. Have to admit, that man is a genius. Astonishing how Jone$ can lie and then lie within a lie to create another lie on top of first lie that he lost track of.

    • Querolous

      Jones has more bad lies than a Trump golf course.

  • alpacapunchbowl
  • Covfefe

    Guns don’t kill people ; libruls kill people.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Redneck downhill races almost kill people:

      https://youtu.be/Fbja3JSDftw

      ETA: I sometimes wonder how we ever became a superpower but have a feeling it wasn’t because of people like this. There’s a difference between people pushing the envelope or having fun and people just doing really dumb shit.

    • natoslug

      Nah — it’s the lack of oxygen to the brain that kills people.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Breaking news: Rural voters chose Trump for ‘cultural’ rather than economic reasons.

    If you define ‘cultural’ as ‘bigotry’.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/national/rural-america/?utm_term=.04c44210f78b

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ayup. WaPo doesn’t want to come right out and say the R word, but that’s what it’s fucking about.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Right. So let’s vote for the billionaire heathen from NYC.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hey. Heathens have ethics. Cod-calvinist athiests looking for respectability in celebrity prosperity gospel churches maybe not so much.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      What about all that economic anxiety we keep hearing about?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s amazing how quickly hating not-white people will cure it.

      • natoslug

        I don’t know about you, but I felt it coming on strong and heavy as soon as Trump was elected. Of course, I focused my associated cultural bigotry on pathological orange people.

    • TundraGrifter

      “What’s the Matter With Kansas?”

      • natoslug

        “What’s the Matter With Kansas +/-30% of all of America?”

        • TundraGrifter

          Scared people seldom think clearly.

    • ariel_gee_398

      They don’t mind being poor, hopeless, and pig ignorant as long as they’ve got minorities to scapegoat. I mean, kudos to the Republicans for having the complete lack of morals to see that and exploit it.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Russians exploited it also too. It’s an international embarrassment.

    • natoslug

      That culture belongs in a biological weapons lab, in a petri dish labeled for disposal.

    • miss_grundy

      Except that neither the voters or the Tangerine Man-Baby have any “couth”.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      someone needs to tell Bernie

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I miss Infrastructure Week.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • natoslug

      You go, girl(s) women! Once again making me think that women are generally smarter than us men. We men? Wee Free Men? Whatevz.

      • You can’t be a Wee Free Man until you can pick up a cow under the hooves with just 3 of your friends

        • natoslug

          I’d also need to be just a tad shorter (currently 6’3″), and a lot more blue.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • rubikcube

    Another member of the President’s “stellar” legal team:

    “The president is NOT under investigation. Just because the president is under investigation does not in any way suggest that he is under investigation.”
    “But sir, you just said he is under investigation.”
    “No I didn’t. I never said that. When? When did I say that?”
    “Just now -you just said it.”
    “That is false and it you repeat that so help me I will come down on you like a ton of bricks, I will do the most disgusting things to you, you will not believe!!!!”
    “We recorded this interview.”
    “Oh…never mind.”
    (Sad)

    • TundraGrifter

      Sounds like the Monty Python “Argument Clinic.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My instant reaction.

        Stupid git.

  • TundraGrifter

    Why did President Trump lawyer up if he’s not being investigated?

  • Skeptical_thinker
    • MynameisBlarney

      My dad keeps talking about this like it’s gonna change everything.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Hopefully it means people will no longer have to take out a loan against their 401k just so they can shop there.

        #Traderjoes

      • eyelashviper

        Well, it will make life easier for rounding up data when they wanna come for you…

    • MizzMazz

      There was a program on the TV, and someone was named Alexa. My Echo went nuts.

      • marxalot

        That’s just one of the complications of having a surveillance AI in your home.

        • MizzMazz

          Eh, I’m not that worried about it. Honestly, if someone really wanted to watch you, your phone and computers could do that already. I am more concerned about people who blithely use social media; it’s like they’re just giving them everything the observers want. Handing it right over. Of course the day may come when Alexa tries to take over everything, knowing far better than we do about how to run an ordered society. Sounds like a movie I might want to watch, or a cautionary tale. When Alexa starts telling the protagonist what to do, what to say, what to smoke, what to play, and then s/he throws it out the window, and it’s now living in the very wires of the house!
          I get credit for that part. ;)

  • Pisto75666

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/two-years-ago-they-couldnt-look-away-now-some-trump-supporters-are-tuning-out/2017/06/18/816be884-51f2-11e7-91eb-9611861a988f_story.html?tid=hybrid_collaborative_1_na&utm_term=.8d06dd3dbc43#comments

    “Vanauken and her husband said they wish Congress would implement some of Trump’s ideas instead of wasting time with hearings. They believe the president’s word over that of former FBI director James B. Comey and others — but added that even if Trump did tell Comey to stop investigating former national security adviser Michael Flynn, it’s no big deal.

    “Okay, so something happened — get over it and move on,” said David Vanauken, an engineer. “That’s what middle-class people do every day: You have a struggle, you resolve it, and you move on. Don’t keep hanging on it.”

    Because of course the struggle to pay your bills and keep a roof over your head is the EXACT same thing as try to say you didn’t commit treason (with help) with a straight face.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Dumbasses don’t want to admit they voted for a treasonous shitgibbon.

      • Pisto75666

        And some of these people (like the guy above) are supposed to be intelligent! An ENGINEER is thinking like this.

        The mind boggles.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Happy Juneteenth.

    Maybe some day the news will reach our POTUS.

    https://twitter.com/NMAAHC/status/876815578132074500

  • Sending Jared to mediate…I thought that only the President could negotiate with foreign leaders. Like Tehran Tom and the other traitors letter. Am I mistaken? Does it even matter anymore? Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    … of course the crazies are insisting she edited the footage to make Jones look like a fat, repugnant turd in a tin-foil hat.

    No editing required.

    • Weird Fishes

      I thought it was the headshot he supplied.

  • Khavrinen

    “Prince Kushner is packing his Kevlar for a trip to the Middle East to finally bring peace between Israel and Palestine.”

    Well, if he’s got his kevlar on, all he’s gotta do is stand between them, so they can’t shoot each other. Problem solved, right? Surely that wouldn’t make them both shoot at him, would it?

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Sending a neophyte, nepotised representative from a new and seriously flailing admin who, like most of the rest of Trump’s cohorts, is probs under criminal investigation, yup, he’s the guy to bring peace between Israel and Palestine.

    Oh, and he happens to be an Orthodox Jew, that is exactly how you win the trust of Palestine.. Hahahahaha.

    • eyelashviper

      Well, he can give some advice about evictions, suing the destitute, and dressing in fashionable combat war gear.

  • eyelashviper

    nice that we have a Predisent who is so concerned about human rights…hahahahahahaha

    https://claytoonz.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/cjones06212017.jpg?w=620

  • andyshelt

    And still an eerie silence from Trump on the latest terror attack.

    It’s almost as if he doesn’t give a shit when the victims are Muslims. Surely not? https://twitter.com/Freedland/status/876789474411393026

    • ltmcdies

      when the mosque in Montreal was attacked at the beginning of the year…nada was heard from the Great Pumpkin.

      if a Muslim is bleeding, Donnie don’t care

    • Scrofula

      I’m wondering if it helps to call this a “terror attack”. I mean, I like the irony and want to rub people’s face in it, but I’d bet my last ten bucks the religions would switch in the general public’s minds w/in two days, if say CNN used the term.

  • SeeTrain65

    “Employees of a child care facility for special needs children run by Arkansas Republican state Rep. Dan Sullivan have been fired after a child died in a van. Sullivan has been calling for deregulation of the childcare industry. There’s no joke here.”

    You ain’t fuckin’ kidding, Dominic.

  • Zyxomma

    Well done.

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