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HENGGGHHHHH?

There is many news to be had about Trump-Russia-Pee-Hooker-Gate, but here is a weird thing. Late Thursday night, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who is in charge of overseeing the Russia investigation at the Justice Department, due to how Grandpappy Sessions is “recused,” fired off a press release that said this:

“Americans should exercise caution before accepting as true any stories attributed to anonymous ‘officials,’ particularly when they do not identify the country – let alone the branch or agency of government – with which the alleged sources supposedly are affiliated. Americans should be skeptical about anonymous allegations. The Department of Justice has a long-standing policy to neither confirm or deny such allegations.”

And the entire country said, “HUH?” Is the Washington Post sourcing all its stories from Kazakhstan, and if so, why? Rumors on the internets say that somebody, perhaps an American ally, is about to release something on Donald Trump, maybe even something that could be described as “urinary,” but those are just rumors. (OR ARE THEY?)

The only news that came out last night that relied on anonymous “officials” is that special prosecutor Robert Mueller is now looking into boy prince Jared Kushner’s business dealings, which is unsurprising. The Kushner family business is sleazy as fuck. But that story specifically says “U.S. officials” told them the news.

Maybe Rosenstein is just trying to protect Mueller’s investigation, as we do seem to be getting quite a bit of news about it, especially as we learned this week that Donald Trump is FOR OFFICIAL under investigation for obstruction of justice. Maybe he’s trying to put a veneer of “FAKE NEWS!” on top, so people will have a healthy skepticism about every salacious (pee) detail that leaks out of the investigation.

Maybe he was drunk and that’s what Justice Department dorks do. Instead of drunk Facebooking, they write drunk memos and the next morning they are like “OH GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE I SENT THAT MEMO TO THE MEDIA, I AM SO EMBARRASSED.”

Maybe he’s trying to get the obsessive-compulsive orange thing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue off his dick, by releasing a statement saying “anonymous leaks are bad MMKAY?” Trump tweeted a thing Friday morning that seems to suggest he’s annoyed with Rosenstein:

LOL Trump, nobody believes you fired James Comey because Rod Rosenstein told you to. Yes, he wrote that memo about how Comey bungled the Hillary email investigation, but go fuck yourself. You told Lester Holt on NBC that you were always going to fire Comey, and you used Rosenstein’s memo as cover. It’s OK to tell the truth once in a while, you know, even if you’re admitting to obstructing justice.

Anyway, Rod Rosenstein’s point is obviously that some foreign “officials” are about to release the pee tape, but don’t believe everything you see in the fake news, even if it’s Russia Pee Hookers doing a traditional Russian Pee Pee Dance for Donald Trump.

Honestly, we still don’t know what the fuck Rosenstein is saying.

In other Russia news, Robert Mueller continues to staff his team with STELLAR individuals, including a new hire who specializes in investigating all the Russian organized crime that lives in Trump Tower (seriously). Also, Vice President Mike Pence has hired a REALLY GOOD lawyer (much better than the rent-a-hacks willing to defend Trump) to represent him in all matters pertaining to the Russia investigation. We don’t know why he thought this was necessary, but maybe it has something to do with how he was supposedly SHOCK AND AWED to find out that disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn was a LITERAL ACTUAL FOREIGN AGENT, even though Rep. Elijah Cummings had sent him a letter to that effect way back in November. Maybe Mother just told Pence it would be a good idea.

The vice president’s office said Thursday that Pence has retained Richard Cullen, a Richmond-based lawyer and chairman of McGuireWoods who previously served as a U.S. attorney in the Eastern District of Virginia. […]

His … high-profile clients have included Tom DeLay, the former Republican majority leader who was investigated by the Department of Justice for his relationship with Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff; Elin Nordegren, the ex-wife of Tiger Woods, in her divorce from the golf star; and former senator Paul Trible (R-Va.), during the Iran-contra investigation.

See, we told you Pence’s lawyer was better. Rachel Maddow reported Thursday night that just after Trump lawyered up, Pence started his own PAC for campaign fundraising. At the time people were like “Is this because he’s pretty sure he’s going to be the Republican candidate in 2020?” And the answer to that is still MAYBE PARTIALLY, but Rachel explained that Pence’s lawyer is very expensive, but he’s allowed to use his own personal fundraising cash to pay his legal fees. For the low, low price of “between $1,000 and $5,000,” you can go to a Mike Pence fundraiser TONIGHT in Indianapolis, to contribute to his legal GoFundMe. Or you can stay home and shampoo your cat, which is probably much more thrilling.

Anyway, this post is over, so here is Rachel to tell you stories about Pence’s lawyer:

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[CNN / Washington Post]

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Got a frightening aspect to this story, Politico?

    Rosenstein’s statement caught many in Washington off guard, in part because it was so generic and didn’t actually specify which news reports it was addressing. It’s also notable because of who issued it: With Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused from all things related to the Russia probe, Rosenstein as the No. 2 DOJ official has the reins over the Mueller probe. He’ll get Mueller’s budget and he also has the power to block major investigative steps — with the caveat he must report to Congress if that happens.

    Uh oh…

    • BigCSouthside

      If he blocks that budget in pretty sure we could get a Kickstarter going to help out

      • kareemachan

        I’d go there.

  • jesuswasablack

    It seems like the entire administration will have to recuse themselves eventually!
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiHaes0WsAATy_e.jpg

  • If he gets YOU’RE FIRED he can have a career playing the nebbish boss, nosy neighbor, or clueless principal in every 50s sitcom ever.

    • Meccalopolis

      If he resigns to avoid unlawful order his ticket is punched

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I am being investigated for firing the FBI Director by the man who told me to fire the FBI Director! Witch Hunt

    (cough) “I was going to fire regardless of the recommendation,” Trump said in an interview with NBC News aired Thursday. “Regardless of recommendation, I was going to fire Comey.” (cough)

  • The Wanderer

    OT:
    Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl, who presided over die Wende in 1991, has passed away at age 87.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Ruhe in Frieden

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Honestly, we still don’t know what the fuck Rosenstein is saying.

    “Dude, don’t ask me–I’m just trying to hold on to a paycheck!”

    – Rod Rosenstein

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Bill D. Burger

    Tweet repair has been completed on Turnip’ early rage this morning.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DCcyJPNVoAAKr_S.jpg

  • memzilla Ω
    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I like how the pee tape to Dickhead line is a stream of urine.

      • And that “Leaks” points right to “Pee Tape”

      • Lascauxcaveman

        The shocker to me is how Jeffy is somehow mixed up in all this this, but the meandering dotted line is pretty convincing.

    • Bill D. Burger
  • Oblios_Cap

    Or you can stay home and shampoo your cat, which is probably much more thrilling.

    There Will Be Blood…

  • TJ Barke

    Motherfucker, Jared told you to fire Comey, poor Rosenstein was just told to come up with a half assed justification after the fact.

  • Occam’s 8 ball

    Comey explained this in a very similar way during his open testimony, I thought it was important, too, because the Russian interference was all about destabilizing our perceptions of our government. Why would they stop with the inauguration?

  • Rick Hill

    For some reason I just nostalged to the 90s. Daughter-mine loverd one song when she was around four years old: “It’s the song that never ends…it just goes on and on and on….”(repeat, forever)

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I… Hate you. Never mention that song. ever.

      • Rick Hill

        Actual lyrics:
        This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…

        • OneYieldRegular
          • kareemachan

            I heart anybody who quotes the Arrogant Worms.

        • Wild Cat

          You’re giving everyone Ear Pythons.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Lamb Chop was the Meat Loaf of her day.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_47KVJV8DU

        • kareemachan

          Curse you.

        • Natalie

          Bet they stayed up all night writing the lyrics to that.

          • Amy!

            Still writing it, after all these years.

            Hoping for the sweet release of death.

            Like all us listeners.

      • Rick Hill

        Don’t hate me, hate the donald

    • Meccalopolis

      The macarena?

  • DainBramage

    The speed with which these revelations are coming is amazing. Is Mueller’s investigation leaking because they know that they’re going to be wiped out and want stuff out there to keep up the momentum?

    • Slithytoves

      Could be – if Rosenstein is going to recuse himself then Brand takes over and she might just fire Mueller.

    • Meccalopolis

      Doubt very much Mueller is leaking. Should he be fired, on the other hand..

  • stankbait

    The reason we don’t know shit about fuck is “Closed Session” !
    When shit leaks out, thats is all we know.

  • Oblios_Cap

    With a name like Rod Rosenstein, one might think some non-commenter could make a dick joke about him…

    • TJ Barke

      A tough circumcision proposition…

    • FlownΩver

      Something something Spare the Rod, spoil the Child.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Worst. Porn name. Ever.

  • Joe Beese

    U.S. Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein has privately acknowledged he may need to recuse himself from matters relating to the Russia probe, given that he could become a potential witness in the investigation, ABC News reported on Friday, citing unnamed sources.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/06/rosenstein-may-need-to-recuse-himself-from-russia-probe-abc-news/

    Then who’s next in line for the “Fire Mueller” order?

    • Slithytoves

      Brand – a member of the Federalist Society.

      • cmd resistor

        She worked in the Bush Admin and did something w/Alberto Gonzalez, but also apparently had a position under Obama as well. Who knows what any of that means.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Perhaps a better question is how she feels about der Trumpenfuhrer. I mean, nobody actually likes the guy, everyone knows he’s dangerous to work for, but which side is her bread buttered on?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            A lot of conservative public women weren’t too thrilled with Donnie’s sexism that came out in his campaign.

    • msanthropesmr

      Some poor custodial schmuck at the DOJ. He will have to put down his broom to sign the order.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Assoc. AG Rachel Brand, who was appointed way back on May 18th.

      • kareemachan

        Way, WAY back….

  • laughingnome

    Stop leaking all over Trump!

  • Nounverb911
    • Wild Cat

      I liked the drunken half-naked photos dug up on her. What a craven tax-cheat and religion-of-the-week huckster. Another horrific Bill Maher creation.

  • SammyDEEEE

    Come on, Trump. You fucking ape. Fire Mueller.

    But you don’t have the covfefe to do it.

  • memzilla Ω

    Mike “Smart As A Fencepost” Pence’s lawyer’s law firm also has Russian connections, because OF COURSE they do.
    . https://twitter.com/th3j35t3r/status/875484293862129666

    • Covfefe

      You do not set up a division to handle business in Russia unless there is a demand for it. Pence’ slaw firm is a prominent Republican law firm, so I assume most of their business comes from Republicans.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    My new game is to replace “Witch Hunt” in any Trump tweet with “I’m Now Totally Fucked.”
    Try it! It’s fun!

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I used to replace #MAGA with that phrase!

  • Anna Rompage

    “Pence started his own PAC for campaign fundraising.”

    (Pence) Hey, I did what you told me and started a PAC

    (lawyer) Um, I told you that you should be starting TO pack….

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • JMP

    It’s so UNFAIR, Donald’s now King of America so he should be able to command this investigation to end! Plus a number of the people who Mueller has hired are Democrats, violating the longstanding principal we just made up that criminal politicians can only be investigated by law enforcement officials of the same party as them!

    • Anna Rompage

      Remember when they were up in arms about a gay, republican appointed judge ruling in favor of same sex marriage, and thought the case should have been heard by a heterosexual?

  • laughingnome

    We’ve been waiting for the pee tapes for months. I’m starting to get angry at the Russians for holding back.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Maximum chaos says not yet. Have to wait for the GOP to kill the investigation or acquit first. Then you drop the pee tape.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hell, Trump will probably declare WWIII if they release it.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        “This is going to be the biggest war ever. Yooge. Bigly elegant. People are saying — lots of people, believe me — that no war in history has ever been this big.”

      • Covfefe

        Nah. Donald doesn’t have authority to start a war with Russia. He would lose too much money if he started a war with China. Same with at least half the rest of the world.

        • Oblios_Cap

          He does have the codes and is deranged enough to use them!

          • kareemachan

            But there has to be *somebody* in the WH who’ll stop him, right?

            RIGHT?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            There are a few other human military officials involved in any potential launching of a nuke strike, if that’s what you’re worried about. Top level military brass are already super-wary about the Donald, and are actually pretty smart guys in their own way. I’m sure they talked among themselves about this.

        • FlownΩver

          Ukraine, on the other hand…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        The thing about pee tapes, is who even cares? Is getting peed on by Russian hookers, in Russia, even a prosecutable offense? Surely not here in America. What’s the big deal?

        Sure, it makes the persons involved enjoying the whole spectacle a subject of disdain and revulsion, but that’s already built in with Trump. Are the pee tapes going to make us somehow more disdainful and revulsed? I don’t see how that’s even possible.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      You do have to admire the bladder control, though.

    • The pee tease is worse than waiting for Game of Thrones

  • bbayliss

    I urine for it.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I hear Donald likes to be trickled.

      • It’s his economic strategy – trickle down…

  • Covfefe

    While I can’t find anything solid from a traditional news source, there are, as a minimum, rumors about Pence’s relationship with Paul Manafort. I can have no doubt Mueller will investigate those rumors.

    • Joe Beese

      Like “I just can’t quit you”?

    • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

      Pence was recommended to Trump by Manafort. Trump wanted Christie, even though it pissed off Jared. Manafort went so far as to fake technical difficulties with Trump’s plane so that they’d be stuck in Indianapolis overnight and arranged for Trump to have dinner with Pence that night. Trump knew he’d been manipulated after Pence being chosen was leaked before he was sure about it but Manafort convinced him that Christie would be too big a liability with Bridgegate so, Trump went along with Pence.

      Pence’s real benefactor though is Betsy De Vos’s brother, Eric Prince, the Blackwater founder who opened up the Seychelles island’s back channel to Putin with help from UAE royalty he does business with. Prince and his mother donated $150,000 to Pence’s various PACs and campaigns on a regular basis.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I swear, sometimes Fridays feel like we’re sitting in a trench, the guns fall silent, and we’re waiting for the whistle.

    • Joe Beese

      Heading back home just now from an hour walking the dogs, I wondered what fresh horror had bloomed.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I’m still letting you go first, though.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Uh uh. When expecting booby traps, send the boob in first. Now where is our boob?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          We prefer to call him Turgid.

    • laughingnome

      I’ve become addicted to this shit unfortunately.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Me too, sadly. I am getting nothing productive done anymore.

      • paxpax

        Me too

      • Meccalopolis

        I know what you mean but if you care about your country and you’re into politics you can’t help it and it is important

      • Lascauxcaveman

        You guys need to get out more. Take clue from Joe and go walk your dogs. Or your neighbor’s dogs. Or go smoke some weed in the park. Do something to get away from this, it’ll murder your soul.

        Sure, check back in and keep up on things, but take a break every now and then. And think of ways you can actively resist, and do it.

      • Rags

        Fo shizzle

    • snigsy

      And then the gas from Kaiser Trump’s tweets comes slithering over the top.

    • Mormos

      then the order came: Over the top!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    It’s a sad state of affairs that an anonymous source is more likely to be believed that anything that comes out of the mouth of anybody in this administration, because we already know they’re lying.

    • MrTusks

      I am now more likely to believe whatever comes out.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      A while back, WaPo asked if the administration announced that North Korea fired a missile that landed in the ocean off the coast of Hawaii, would anyone believe them?

  • Wild Cat

    “We have to fire him by 4:48. My wife has made gefilte fish for the fucking Shabbos and she’ll bitch like a fucking bat out of hell if I’m not home to schtupp it down, dammit!”

    • Werewolf

      I think the last verb should be “fress”. (To greedily eat, like a beast)

      • Wild Cat

        Good Yiddish. I’ll stet the sexual connotaion, tho—the goyim won’t know. (Pssst . . . do any of them have babies? I’m hungry.)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I do not think this word (schtupp) means what you think it means.

  • schmannity

    Trump has the smallest ham hands in the history of maneuvers.

    • laughingnome

      Little piggy hands.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Baconz libel!

  • Bill D. Burger

    When all is said and done, after The Trump Era, this will be the new GOP icon and symbol:

    http://www.threequestionmarks.com/blog/pee.jpg

    • arglebargle

      Now that’s a wide stance.

  • FlownΩver

    Go ahead, Donnie Two Scoops – fire Rosenstein AND Mueller. It’ll be your crowning strategery.

  • Rod Rosenstein, like everyone else, is probably having a mental breakdown from the stream of contradictory information and orders coming out of the White House, because the President is insane.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I can’t really see FBI guys getting thrown that far off their game by this level of amateurism.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Baby, there is nothing more “thrilling” than shampooing a cat.

    • vivian

      So that’s what the kids are calling it these days?
      Do you shave the cat before or after?

    • Painter of Goats

      Shampooing 2 cats?

  • vivian

    Congress votes for new sanctions on Russia and removes the President’s ability to alter those sanctions. IOW DJT is now useless to Vlad and Co. So… pee tape to drop?

    • Joe Beese

      Last I heard, the House was going to stonewall it.

      • cmd resistor

        Pretty amazing, huh?

      • vivian

        Dang. You’re right; it was just the Senate… okay, so maybe no pee tapes today… another perfectly useable theory bites the dust.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Hang onto it, though. It could be useful again in another couple hours or days. You never know.

      • Anna Rompage

        Yep, Vlad threatened to spill the beans that Ryan knew about, and was part of, a scheme to funnel illegal foreign Russian money into republican congressional candidates elections…

        • Meccalopolis

          They really are so cartoonishly evil that the spy novel defense is actually effective

    • Meccalopolis

      Or they threatened to. Vlad will squeeze that lemon dry and toss it in the trash

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      Ole Pooty-Poot.
      #1 with a bullet.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Just “hmm”.

    OT: Michelle Carter was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the 2014
    suicide of her boyfriend, Conrad Roy III. She will be sentenced in
    August, so there’s that bit of good news.

    • Suttree

      Good. Evil fucker.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Strange head shape, too.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        No doubt! I was following that case more closely than anything else. I hope they throw the book at her. It’s such a tragic story and she’s such an evil creature.

    • Yr. Gma

      No bitch deserves it more.

  • Relativicus

    Does anyone know if Pence, or any of them really, are required by law to announce if they’ve retained outside counsel? I’m guessing “yes” but only because I don’t know why you wouldn’t otherwise want to keep that to yourself until you could no longer keep it to yourself, but I don’t know.

    • cmd resistor

      So you can do like Sarah Huckabee does, refer all questions to them?

      • kareemachan

        That’s Sarah *Fuckabee*, IMO.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Sarah, spawn of Chucklefuck.

    • AncienReggie

      They announce to beat the leak.

    • MrTusks

      Is Pence getting ready for a 25th Amendment move?

  • Michael R

    ” Mother told me not to eat jellybeans off the ground ,
    so I scooped them up with the garbage can lid ” – Rod Rosenstein

  • Anna Rompage

    There’s already an official paper trial that shows Pence was full of shit about being in the dark until mid-late January…

    Elijah Cummings sent an official letter to Pence on Nov 18th, from the committee he sits on, questioning why Flynn was being considered for NSA when there were so many red flags…

    here is a copy of the letter… Note, this is not from anonymous sources…

    https://democrats-oversight.house.gov/sites/democrats.oversight.house.gov/files/documents/2016-11-18.EEC%20to%20Pence.pdf

  • Suttree

    Tom Delay. How you disappeared. I had forgotten that I hate you.

    • cmd resistor

      He did briefly reappear as a Dancing With the Stars contestant, didn’t he?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Yeah, only to drop out partway through due to stress fractures in his feet.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Is that we invaded Iraq?

      • Wild Cat

        I always wanted see another convicted corrupt Christian GOP Celeb, Dennis Hastert, do “Wrestlin’ with the Hitler Youth.” (Oliver Reed/ Alan Bates style.)

      • Yr. Gma

        That was cringe-making.

    • Wild Cat

      Like Frank Booth, he snorts bug juice.

    • MynameisBlarney
  • WomanInThePersistence

    Anybody else speculating madly on what other country’s officials would be leaking?
    *cough* Russia *cough*

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Punishment for the Senate bill about the sanctions?

    • AncienReggie

      My guess is, European intelligence agencies will be sharing their intercepts confirming collusion with Russia by the Trump campaign.

    • Claire

      It might be easier to figure out which countries *aren’t* leaking.

  • Joe Beese

    Great news! The most right-slanted pollster in the business finds that only half the country despises me!

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/875732813278048256

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      The one poll he’s not under water by about 15 percentage points.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “I only halfway suck!”

    • Rags

      His caddy is getting better at making pretty tweets

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    From WAPO

    Rosenstein also wrote a letter last month outlining concerns about
    Comey that Attorney General Jeff Sessions then passed on to Trump with
    the recommendation that Comey be fired.

    While that seems like it
    fits with Trump’s description, then — it actually doesn’t. First of all,
    Rosenstein’s letter never called for Comey’s firing. (It’s also worth
    noting that Trump told NBC’s Lester Holt that he planned to fire Comey
    anyway.) Second of all, the description of Rosenstein as investigating
    Trump is a bit off. The special counsel is investigating Trump, and
    Rosenstein can fire Mueller if he wishes, but he’s not in charge of that
    investigation. Rosenstein also has jurisdiction over the FBI’s
    investigation into the Russia matter.

    I too am having problems understanding this.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/06/16/the-key-questions-raised-by-one-111-character-trump-tweet/?tid=pm_pop

    Maybe, and I am only lightly joking here, Rosenstein’s memo was about Donnie’s Twitter account?

    • Claire

      I feel like the line about Rosenstein’s letter not calling for Comey’s firing is a little disingenuous. It’s true that it didn’t come out and say “President Trump should You’re Fired Comey without delay,” but it’s difficult to read the letter and come to any other conclusion about what it was recommending.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Very true. That still doesn’t alter the fact that Rosenstein only wrote the letter at Donnie’s behest and, seemingly, after Donnie had already decided to fire Comey.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I’m still waiting for the inevitable moment when Trump tries to fire a Senator.

    • BigCSouthside

      @RealDonaldTrump: I’m firing the whole Senate for witch hunting me. Losers! babies! Sad! #MAGA

      • Proud Liberal

        I actually could see him saying that. Ugh. We are in a world of shit.

        • Rags

          Martial law to prevent an ‘illegal coup?’ I think the AF has enough righties that it might be conceivable. Not sure about other services. The day 4-5 shows up in a six star general’s uniform is the day to watch.

  • NerdWithNoName

    If the Russian Pee Hooker (c) story is true it will actually make me feel BETTER about the prez. Hey! Look! Donnie has some kink goin’ on. You go Donnie, this is much better than tweeting stupid stuff all the time.

    • laughingnome

      If he was a good guy otherwise – okay – but he’s a shitty guy, so fuck him with pee tapes.

    • Proud Liberal

      I have no doubt this did happen. He hates Obama so much that he would hire hookers to pee on the bed President Obama slept in. That’s pretty sleazy if you ask me.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        Exactly and it has nothing to do with kink. It’s just petty and vindictive.

  • weejee

    shampoo your cat

    Think I prefer watching Nixon floss and brush a cat’s teeth.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fb5e5553a929b140c418efdb1a298de4df011db1a5467cfbc723c8f0f512dd0a.jpg
    / reaches for popcorn

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I would like to see a version of this painting featuring Jimmy Carter and the giant rabbit.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh GOD!
        That needs to happen!

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Shit – how did you guys get a picture of me giving my bengals baths last weekend? Do you have my house wired?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Fantasy novel with a dragon in human form. Going through Russian customs, chained bears at the stations trained to detect illegal magical artifacts all sense he’s a dragon and bow down to him. Later, trapped with another character at a dead-end corridor with the Empresses’s two Bengal tigers advancing on them, the other character asks if he can do the same thing with them that he did with the bears.

        The dragon looks at the other character and says, “They’re cats.”

  • ltmcdies

    Dianne Feinstein would like a word, Orange Man

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/875747848754786305

    • Oblios_Cap

      DiFi woke up early today…

      • ltmcdies

        and she’s pissed…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      The only quibble I have is that his “staunchest supporters” would probably not balk at the effort. They’d probably wonder why they can’t stone them to death.

      • well yeah, in reality XD Think Di was snarkin that one
        Sort of like an I DARE YOU TO SAY THIS IS FINE, RYAN

    • Anna Rompage

      Gawd, did she forget what day they serve green jello in the senate cafeteria again?

      Bless her heart, I like Dianne, but her mind is starting to mush out…

      • LadyLaz

        That letter does not exhibit a “mushed out” mind.

        • Anna Rompage

          It was probably written by an aide…

          I’m just saying, the last couple times I’ve seen her question people in public, she comes off as being slightly confused, though far from the disgraceful interaction Walnuts had with Comey…

      • Yr. Gma

        Let’s be careful with the old lady stereotypes.

    • Meccalopolis

      Nothing matters anymore

  • calliecallie

    “Or you can stay home and shampoo your cat, which is probably much more thrilling.”
    Have you ever tried to shampoo a cat? It is as thrilling as a wet tee shirt contest with sharp objects and mud wrestling.

    • I’ve always been able to bathe my cats.
      Granted, I do not do it often.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I used to but after years came to the conclusion, barring them getting into chemicals or actual mud, it’s not necessary. Kinda like humans over shampoo their hair. I haven’t bathed a cat in years. But I also too could do it–usually some damn flea treatment thing.

      • NerdWithNoName

        Does the fur stick to the roof of your mouth? (Thanks Steve Martin)

    • SayItWithWookies

      And yowling and hissing.

      • Erala Contratista

        And random lightning strikes?

    • Predisenting Ron

      Go on…

  • Claire

    OT: NYT sulks about how all the countries have hot young leaders and we have an old man yelling at the 21st century to get off his lawn; includes new (to me) photo of Trudeau and Macron on their bromance tour of Italy.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/16/opinion/trump-emmanuel-macron-justin-trudeau.html?rref=opinion

    • laughingnome

      It does say something about the country and it’s not good.

      • JT cheatin on the Bamz? Sob.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I suspect it’s an open relationship.

          • Keep on rockin in the free world?
            I can accept that. Plus, Mac’s really cute also

            Edit: OH OH OH! Can we call him Le Big Mac?

          • FauxAntocles

            You have to work french fries in there also, too.

          • Rags

            Freedom Fries or GTFO!

          • Claire

            Wait until Christmas time, there’ll be no end to the O Come Emmanuel jokes.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            As long as everyone’s on the same page, I say have at it!

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Royale.

    • Dear NYT:
      We could have had a very fine looking Grandma, but SOMEPEOPLE decided that click revenue and outright lies were just as good as boring policy and fact

      • Claire

        Right? Don’t come crying to us because all the other countries have telegenic leaders when your paper is half the reason we all have to download browser extensions to block out Trump’s face.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        But, we’ve got Ivanka. Isn’t that almost as good as Brigitte Macron?

    • Proud Liberal
      • LadyLaz

        I miss obama so so so much.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        The Electoral College. Thanks, founding fathers!

    • Thiazin Red

      Gee, maybe you shouldn’t have spent so much time bitching about Clinton and harping on non existent bullshit. This is on you dickbags.

      • Claire

        “But her emails!!!” is the ultimate cane-shaking bullshit, too. The people who are the most salty over it are the people who think email is some sinister newfangled libtard elite bidness and they don’t want any of it.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    “It’s a long held tradition to lawyer up 6 months into a presidency.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1e763cad845ff4855627f756dd8dacda108f520b3da8bcf4c8e8110c211f7268.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      Sure.
      Routine for fucktards that can’t help but break the damn law.

    • It is actually not even remotely routine.
      Did OHJB ever lawyer up? Gore? Hell, even Cheney or Bush 1? No. Because it is not at all routine for VPs to go lawyering up.

    • LadyLaz

      Seriously though, I would have. Even if I was clean as the driven snow. When shit goes down like Trump (imagining the fiery Hindenburg), bystanders get splashed… or burned to death.

    • Mormos

      routine for spiro agnew maybe. cant think of any other VPs who have.

    • NastyBossetti

      Very routine. I hire a private lawyer all the time. Last year alone, I hired 36 private lawyers.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Now that the Mueller investigation is kicking into gear I think I’m kinda over the pee tape, to be honest.
    But watersports is also not my kink, so I dunno.

    • cmd resistor

      I never thought the pee tape would bring him down. His supporters would love the idea of disrespecting Obama with pee.

      • Disagree: If something like that is actually on actual tape, with foreign prostitutes no less, the Evangelicals would have to pull their public support (but of course, not their private support)

        • BigCSouthside

          No they won’t. Jesus washes all that shit clean. Half the mega pastors in this country are known sexual deviants and those evangelicals still buy them mansions and shit

          • Bebecca

            I don’t think so either. If what we learned during the campaign didn’t cook his goose with the evangelicals, nothing will. You know he’s for the babies.

          • BigCSouthside

            Evangelicals are a cynical power hungry political faction with no actual moral compass like they claim. They use the “moral compass” to collect money and that’s it.

            They were proven to be total fucking bullshit when they jumped ship from Cruz to Trump.

        • Marceline

          Let’s stop thinking that these people care about things like consistency. The Evangelicals voted for a pussy-grabbing serial philanderer who wants to screw his kid. Those fuckers have no real values.

          • Hollandaise

            The Fetish of the Fetus.

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          Gotta disagree. The only tape that brings Trump down is one that involves children – not underage, but actual little girls. Everything else, even teenagers, will be excused away.

          Pardon me, I need to go vomit now.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Odds for dead girls or live boys?

        • Thiazin Red

          As long as you promise to hate the gays and women, evangelicals just ask that you cry about Jesus on tv. Once you cry about Jesus on tv nothing you did matters.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          you underestimate their hypocrisy. All Donnie would have to do would be shed an insincere tear or two, claim Jebus forgave him and they’d be perfectly fine with him. As long as he continues the crusade against the gheys and sluts and continues to give them their political power without facing taxation for their politicking, they will never abandon him- they’re as morally bankrupt as he is.

          • Rags

            Sadly, this. ^

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Don’t forget it was just a youthful indiscretion.

      • Yr. Gma

        If the pee tape shows Donald with no clothes and a teeny peeny, that will be something that could send him over the edge.

    • BigCSouthside

      The only reason I want it is because it validates the Steele dossier in a concrete dramatic way

      • alpacapunchbowl

        You make an excellent point.

      • laughingnome

        Right on!

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        You beat me to it…by over an hour! I really need to do less work and more posting :p

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        Most of it’s already been validated. The really illegal stuff. As Malcolm Nance said “Cop to the hookers, Donnie, the rest is worse for you.”

    • Meccalopolis

      I honestly couldn’t be any more embarrassed for this country, so.. why not

    • Edith Prickly

      At this point, pee hookers would be the least disgusting thing he’s done. Provided he actually paid them, of course.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Yes, but the existence of the pee-pee tape would affirm the contents of the rest of the dossier.

    • mailman27

      The pee hooker tape is its own reward. It stands alone. We’ve been very patient all in all, I think.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Eh, like I said, not my kink. The extenuating circumstances surrounding the pee hooker tape? Now that’s some good tea.
        It may also be that I just really really don’t want to visualize the possibilities.

    • Mike Steele

      With you on that. Personal peccadillos are no match to threatening the stability of intl. relations and exercise of domestic freedoms.

  • LadyLaz

    So do we know why Rod did it?

    • Proud Liberal

      I’m guessing pressure from Trump.

      • snigsy

        I agree. His is a more literate version of “FAKE NEWS,””LEAKERS,” and “I’M GONNA SUE.” (Although the bit about foreign sources does make me wonder if some shit is about to hit the fan.)

        • mailman27

          Perhaps some other type of excreta…

    • C4TWOMAN

      The first thing I thought of was he’s gotten word on the QT that some bullshit is being planned to fuck with public perception –like something released by Wikileaks. And he’s trying to get ahead of it.
      But, alas, I know nothing concrete.

      • Meccalopolis

        I think t rump has been fucking with him and rod threatened to resign. Now he’s worried about some BS leak: asst AG considering firing Mueller

      • LadyLaz

        Ok. I just try to ignore the news because then I fall down into a deep hole of yelling at trump supporters in the internet… and I have actual work to do ;). I figure you guys will tell me :)

        • laineypc

          Just tell them that whenever they are ready to come to the light we will welcome them with open arms, no I told you so’s (even though we will def be thinking it so hard they will probably be able to read our minds.)

    • Marceline

      I’m in the “he did it to get Trump off his dick” camp until I see something else. It’s the kind of meaningless, reality show bullshit that Donnie seems to love.

      And honestly it’s not a bad thing to say when we’re in the middle of an information war. Lord knows Russia loves to dump plenty of disinformation in the news stream.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Trump probably told him to. He’s already released one memo to help Trump. What’s another? He’s dirty as fuck.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Maguire Woods? I’ve known some non-lawyers who worked there, and the consensus seems to be that it’s a hellish place to work, run entirely by cheap assholes, though this was a few years ago.

    And it’s good to know that right after Assmouth’s lawyer told WH staff they don’t need to lawyer up, Pence did just that. I’m sure everyone’s confidence was boosted by this news.

  • Joe Beese

    Josh Marshall has a new piece up on about how the increasingly-likely liquidation of Mueller and Rosenstein will create an honest, no foolin’, really-mean-it-this-time Constitutional crisis.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/a-very-very-dangerous-situation

    It expresses his doubt – which I share – that the House would impeach even so.

    But, really, how would life in these United States be any different than it is now? What different legislative outcomes would occur? What different appointments would be made? What different votes would be cast in 2018?

    • Oblios_Cap

      There might be a lot of congested streets, what with all of the protests.

    • Marceline

      Everything Donnie has tried to do to save himself has only made his situation worse. The same would be true if he fires Rosenstein and Mueller. I think if he does that, he’s a dead man. I mean that figuratively and eventually literally. The more he acts like a third world dictator the more likely it is he’ll be dispatched like one.

      Just to stay true to our commenting rules, I’m not wishing for that. My wish is asset forfeiture. When Donnie shuffles off the mortal coil I want it to be from natural causes while he’s living in a van down by the river.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Dreaming of seized assets gives me all the warm feels.

    • mailman27

      There’s the rub.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Tim Kaine wouldn’t need no stinkin’ lawyer.

  • Jenny

    I am thinking Rosenstein has been kept up all night with Trump rants that he is like fuck, fine, I’ll say something.

    This is what my mom would do to me if I didn’t give her cigarette monies, so I know some things about being badgered into insanity.

    Buuuuut, if it is the pee tape, I hope Israel releases it.

    • Meccalopolis

      My money us on Israel

      • H0mer0

        serves him right for compromising their agents in the field.

  • Holly Palmer

    “Maybe Mother just told Pence it would be a good idea.” was the best line of a good article.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • khanurik

      I think you meant to say: “Release the Kraken!” – although I’ll totally accept pee tapes. Hollywood producers are already working on this sequel…

  • Stulexington

    Oh come on now, Pence just got a lawyer because he saw everyone else was doing it and didn’t want to feel left out.

    • Edith Prickly

      Also, his wife can’t go to every dinner he gets invited to now, so he needs a lawyer to protect him from all the sinful harpies who might give him Unchristian Feels.

      • khanurik

        HEY! I gots to defend Pence on this one. I’m a bachelor and I pray every night for sinful harpy to give me an UnChristian (on UnWiccan or UnAnimist – whatever) feel. I can haz feels – no?

      • Mavenmaven

        I thought he needs the lawyer to actually have someone to talk to.

      • H0mer0

        it’s not the harpies, it’s the Adonises

  • therblig

    Pence needs a lawyer to help him weigh the effect on his 2020 presidential run of pardoning vs not pardoning trumpy.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Jerry Ford could have told him some things about possible pitfalls…

      • Raan

        And Jimmy Carter can warn him about water rabbits.

        • H0mer0

          “Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit. That’s the most foul,
          cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.”

  • NotConvinced

    Whenever Trump speaks the truth, he ALWAYS fucks himself the in the worst way possible.

    • Predisenting Ron

      True, but that’s based on a VERY small sample.

      • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

        “Precedent! Precedent! You’re the precedent!

        (But I’m presnident)”*

        *The adventures of little Donnie

    • Raan

      Hey, the Allies stopped trying to assassinate Hitler when he started fucking with German military maneuvers.

      Just sayin’.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Am I a bad person for wishing that Pence goes bankrupt trying to defend himself?

    • Raan

      No, assuming it’s because you don’t want him to be able to hurt anyone else.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I’m hoping for humiliation, penury and years of good health to enjoy both for all these fucks – in or out of prison.

      • Raan

        Who are we kidding, Cheeto Benito’s going to have a heart attack in the dock when the jury delivers the verdict.

    • Niblet58

      The Koch brothers will pay for anything to keep their pick in place.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        Not that these GOP dirtballs think that the rules apply to them, but there are rules for attorneys when it comes to accepting payment for representation from a third party. i.e., you don’t want the lawyer to get the idea that they should be letting the guy with the wallet guide what’s in the best interest of the client.

    • Joe Beese

      If it’s bad, I don’t want to be good.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Mr. Rosenstein’s comment showed how people have lost the ability to simplify. I mean, whatever happened to “Hey, look over there!”, when you want to distract?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      The funny part about his statement is that now people will believe whatever is coming with even more conviction. Total fail. David Frum on Lawrence last night was like, now I want to know which part I’m not supposed to pay attention to so I can pay attention to it.

      • cmd resistor

        The man behind the curtain?

  • Pat_Pending

    Tom DeLay, Elin Nordgren, and Paul Trible of Iran Contra. Pretty classy.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Being in the White House with Donnie must be pretty goddamn frightening these days. Probably much like Hunter Thompson’s description of riding the “Sunshine Special” with Ed Muskie in ’72: “Like being locked in a rolling boxcar with a vicious 200lb 300lb water rat.”

    • Raan

      Where’s Peter Sheridan when we really need him?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Need moar gin-crazed Boohoos!

      • sadboy

        Then he began ordering Triple Gin Bucks, without the Buck.

  • Raan

    How long after Trump’s impeachment/conviction does Pence go nuts and buy a tiger?

    • Mavenmaven

      More like finds one in his hotel room in Vegas.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/875701471999864833

    I’m sure you all have noticed this, cause y’all is smart, but he seems to think he’s being investigated by Rosenstein.

    WTF? Was this drug addled tweeting or is he really this confused about it all?

    Am I confused about it all (Coffee #2, brain boot up 50% complete)

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I flushed something far more intelligent than Donnie this morning after my morning dump.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Damn, man, it was fifth in line for the Predinentsy. It’s in the Conistushon.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I suspect Trump has trouble knowing what day it is.

      • Raan

        I’ve been there.

      • Nockular cavity

        I’m not sure what year it is anymore. It’s 2035, isn’t it? Year 18 of the Trump presidency?

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        Every day if golf day.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        If it’s Friday, this must be Mar-a-Lago.

  • ExecutorElassus

    Recent update: Rod just announced to The Hill that he may have to recuse himself on account of That Asshole’s tweet storm today.

    Important question: if Rod is recused or Your Fired, who’s next in the line of succession to take over as principle overseeing Mueller?

    Addendum: oh, it’s clearly stated in TFA who would succeed him. See here: http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/338119-deputy-ag-privately-acknowledged-possibility-of-recusal-from-russia

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I believe it’s Associate AG Rachel Brand.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        She seems to have a solid bio, but has only been on this gig this May 22. I’m sure she ain’t happy to have this shit sandwich dumped in her lap.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Wouldn’t it be funny if she’s super honest, won’t be swayed, and is instrumental in taking him down? Taken down by a woman would be the ultimate karma for Donnie.

        • Mike Steele

          It’s NOT funny. She is Federalist Society material and rec’d NO (D) votes at confirmation = Bork. Those who do not understand history are doomed to repeat it.

          • LucindathePook

            I don’t suppose she owns any stock in Rosneft or anything like that? Met with Kislyak?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Those don’t sound like things that would be readily available to a vagina-haver.

          • Mike Steele

            If she doesn’t/hasn’t, she’d be the ONLY one.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Actually, Donnie, they love it when you tweet. Keep us all tuning in all the time.

    • mailman27

      He really thinks that 1 in 3 Americans, including babies, children, mee-maw and kee-pop , are following his dopey twitter?

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Aren’t about half of those followers fake?

    • Marceline

      I wonder if he even knows how many of his followers are bots. It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if Bannon bought a bunch of them just to make Donnie feel special.

      • Raan

        Or it’s Putin keeping an eye on his pet.

    • Mavenmaven

      reach around them /corrected

    • Le Covfefe Royal

      He’s very popular at that one Bangladeshi click farm.

    • H0mer0

      no entiendo (solamente 32.4 million)

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        exacto.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    also too, bwahahwahahaa. 50% on a poll that trends right is still fucking pathetic.

    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/875732813278048256

    • Professor Fate

      see “Straws, grasping at”

    • Le Covfefe Royal

      It’s Rasmussen, so you have to convert it to metric by subtracting 32, and then add four for every point above 20.

    • gratuitous

      The pool of respondents was as follows:

      Approve: Ivanka, Jared, Uday, Qusay
      Disapprove: Melania, Barron, Tiffany, Bannon

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS: Have posted elsewhere, and will here, that RR press release is either: a) bogus, generated on letterhead copped by Sessions; or b} SKWERL, to buy RR some more time. Russian investigation, dating back to early 2016, needed to be kicked into high gear. Everyone surrounding Donald, including Sessions, (R)-headed “investigative committees” in House and Senate, etc. were getting nowhere fast. RR was forced to humiliate himself in several different ways to get the inside track and pick up the pace. In case no one has noticed, with Mueller appointment (regardless of what happens from here on out) the plot has thickened quite rapidly. RR ‘allowed’ himself to be used in creation of lame HRC memo damning Comey, which, in turn, led to Comey being allowed to go public and Mueller being installed as SP. Didn’t take long for Donald’s strong-arming of intel chiefs to be aired.
    Without these developments, Trump’s version of events would have been covered by Beauregard, and likely accepted as truth, by now. We go back a long way, old Mike and I. Paranoia strikes deep. Before it’s done, hopefully wide-cast net will include Donald, Pence, Flynn, Sessions, Bannon, Ryan, McCarthy, McConnell, Wilbur Ross, Rex Tillerson, Miller, Gorka, DeVos/Prince, Price, Mulvaney and a cast of thousands.

  • mailman27

    Come on with those pee hookers!! I ain’t gettin any younger.

  • BMW

    Weird how all the anonymous leaks Trump keeps calling “fake news” end up getting verified by him later on.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a4011e4ce38ba06e752378fb8382c0d46d0befdaae10573c672ff5f5b7aadcf.jpg

  • CindyinEncinitas

    That leaves Ally McBeal free for Lord Dampnut.

    • timpundit

      Or a simple country hyper-chicken.

    • H0mer0

      I thought she was married to Han Solo

  • timpundit

    Urine big trouble now, Mister!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      The news is going to be a huge splash.

  • efoveks

    My cat is very disappointed that I am not going to the GoFundMe Gala of Grift for Mike Pence.

  • Le Covfefe Royal

    Paul Trible. There’s another blast from the past. I keep reading new stories on yr Wonkette about people like Jim Bakker and Eliot Abrams. It’s like an 80s dance party of despair.

  • Mavenmaven

    He’ll fire Rosenstein and Mueller and then appoint his son’s wedding planner in Mueller’s place.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The wedding planner?

      Igor Vladimirovich Putin?

      He’s good.

      Great party, great vodka, great plutonium, where required.

      Karaoke to “Moscow Nights” all night long!

      • Boojum

        Polonium, not plutonium! Plutonium is no good for weddings, only bombs!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          My mistake! Put it up to my inexperience when it comes to poisoning peoples.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      What? His caddy can’t multi task?

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m sure Trump looks as Rosenstein and thinks, “This is a guy I can steamroll.” And maybe he’s right.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      He has already compromised him but can he actually steamroll him? John Dean turned out otherwise.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I’m beginning to think that Donald Trump is not such a great Prednisent.

  • sadboy

    From the Guardian article linked to in the OP:

    “One of the more recent recruits is reported to be Lisa Page, a justice department trial attorney with a substantial record of investigating Russian and former Soviet organised crime and in particular its reputed godfather, Semion Mogilevich.

    Mogilevich associates are reported to have owned condos in Trump Tower in New York, and the father of Trump’s business partner in the Trump Soho hotel, Felix Sater, was a Mogilevich lieutenant.”

    Glad to see someone is keeping an eye out for this. Mogilevich is a renowned Russian mob figure with a history of cultivating friendly Russian politicians (including a rising star in St. Petersburg in the 1990s by the name of Vladimir Putin) and has deep ties to Russian oil and gas companies, including joint ventures with US companies in Ukraine for development of offshore natural gas fields in the Black Sea. Until late 2015, he was also on the FBI’s Wanted List.
    And he’s probably the one setting most of the agenda for the Putin government (which, of course, will set Trump’s agenda as well).

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Hope that Lisa has a security detail. Heck, hope that all of Mueller’s people are being kept safe.

  • CeeQ

    We used to shampoo our cats every few months or so. Indignant meowing, rage-y hissing and frantic claw swipes ensued. Much like what’s happening at the WH at the moment.

    • Alan

      If you teach them to bathe very young they’re okay with it. Oddly, there’s still an analogy to be drawn.

      • CeeQ

        We tried! Those cats were sassy. I miss them.

      • Gigglesnort

        I have never had a cat that didn’t know how to wash itself. Bit if they get super-overweight they can’t reach around themselves do it properly. Then you are going to be in the manual butt-wipe business. Maybe that is a bit like serving our Orange Leader. You want to avoid that ;-).

      • irishdave3

        kitty training?

  • William
  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    The expression on the guys face to the right is priceless and just what the fuck is a little kid doing there? Would a child be more coherent at this point?

    • H0mer0

      He looks like he’s going apoplectic, like who would drag him here just for him to be a part of history?

  • Boojum

    Please let it be about pee hookers. I’m disappointed in Comey for not being more interested in getting this in the bottom, er, getting to the bottom of this.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      No, much as it may be about under-aged pee hookers, it is really about accounting.

      Here’s how it works: Money can (temporarily) buy you those sub-teen pee hookers you so desire.

      And then somebody finds out you paid for it and how much and that the Russians have their claws into you.

      So, as actually unwatchable under-aged pee hooker tapes may be, the spreadsheets will bring him down.

    • phoenix00

      Getting Comey in the bottom would be a, umm, tall order.

  • Alan

    It probably is pee hookers. Russia’s entire objective is to be disruptive and make the US government look bad. So far, so good, this would simply be the last straw.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      If they want to discredit our democracy releasing the pee tapes would put a nail in its coffin. The Repugs still will do nothing, demonstrating what a farce the whole shit show our government has become.

      • Don’t you mean “pee show”?

        • irishdave3

          Didn’t Shakespeare write about killing Ill Douche, eh with something about ..to pee, or not to pee….oh, wait..tee hee Brute!

    • irishdave3

      “last straw” probably shouldn’t appear in any implied discussion of pee, just sayin. or is that suck on this?

  • cmd resistor

    So DOJ says no reason at this point for Rosenstein to recuse.
    ““As the deputy attorney general has said numerous times, if there comes a point when he needs to recuse, he will,” Justice Department spokesman Ian Prior said in a statement. “However, nothing has changed.””
    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/deputy-ag-rosenstein-sees-no-reason-to-recuse-himself-from-russia-probe-justice-dept-says/ar-BBCMnZQ?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp

  • Vorhees

    Again this thing with pee hookers! This defamation will not stand [or squat, for that matter]!!!

    Micturition Artists, if you please.

    Show some couth, or you’re going to be in hot water, mister! (Or at least hand, warm water.)

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Micturation artistes, if you please.

      To be more precise: Micturation artistes de jeunesse.

      You have to be very precise in the Russian blackmail biz.

      • Gregory Brown

        They use only the best Russian artisanal pee.

    • irishdave3

      …from Fake Russian Hookers?

  • Marla

    Will America ever have a democracy again?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      No democracy? Hindenburg would never allow that to happen.

    • merl1

      when citizens united is repealed

    • TundraGrifter

      Although I’d argue we still have one, I see a big change coming – oh, around November 2018…

  • Shibusa

    From nyt: Forrest Chisman Stevensville, MD 8 hours ago
    Now we understand the reason for the strange Rosenstein statement last night. Trump is enraged about that Mueller has targeted him and wants to fire the special counsel, but Rosensetein stands in his way. Hence Trump is pressuring the Deputy Attorney General to come to his defense. Rosenstein issued the statement in an attempt to pacify the President, keep his job, shield Mueller and prevent another “Saturday night massacre.” It remains to be seen whether this will work.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      This scenario seems likely except that it presupposes that The Donald is capable of any thought process whatsoever.

    • GreyWolfSC

      We need a new Saturday Night Massacre. It will clean out Drumpf and his ilk.

  • Laffing Crow

    That isn’t just annoyed. Especially since trump knows that Rosenstein didn’t “tell” him to fire anyone. That’s “guess who’s the sacrificial lambikins?”

    • Duke

      Anyone except Trump’s kids

    • irishdave3

      The Imbecile of Orange was “just following orders” from Rosenstein then?

  • Laffing Crow

    Pee hookers are a red herring.
    Unless they aren’t.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Pee Hookers Are Red Herring” says the headline.

      So Trump likes to get in bed with live fish and let them excrete all over him? That’s kinkier than kinky.

      • phoenix00

        Some say fishy smell can remind one of pee…..

      • TundraGrifter

        Red herring or red snapper?

        • irishdave3

          May smell like fish, but tastes like chicken?

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      I thought a “red herring” was sex with a Russian hooker having her period.

      I know, I’m sorry! I’ll show myself out.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Terrified career DOJ employee says what?

    Seriously, something BIG is about to hit our radar and Rosenstein is trying to get out in front of it.

  • Having had to shampoo a cat once, I can verify that this is a very thrilling thing to do, what with all of the screaming and the claws.

    • merl1

      Same here. I screamed like a little girl.

    • I guess I shouldn’t have used the pressure washer. But, the cat was clean but really pissed.

      • shocktreatment

        And nearly hairless, but oh so clean!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Maybe it’s the Balkan intercepts! Is this a spy novel or what? Whatever happened to no-drama Obama? Those were the days.

  • Maybe

    Wow. I guess we just can’t trust those sneaky Canadians.

    You know, what with their universal health care and excellent international reputation and sane leader.

    • phoenix00

      Just wait ’till you try the poutine.

      • Sakonyachen

        No thank you

        • phoenix00

          Aww, who doesn’t want questionable dairy byproduct on salt and artifical flavor on a bedda deep-fried grease? Mmmm MMM!

      • Maybe

        Based on the ingredients I expect it will turn up at McDonald’s any day now.

    • John Harper

      There bacon is superior too.

  • bluicebank

    That Rosenstein thing smacks of code, because it don’t make no sense otherwise.

    “… particularly when they do not identify the country – let alone the branch or agency of government …”

    It’s code, according to my anonymous source in Antarctica, Ministry of Silly Walks.

  • TundraGrifter

    Just how Mr. Rosenstein is going to keep Mr. Trump’s White House from leaking remains to be seen.

    • Sakonyachen

      More Pee-Hookers!

    • Lily412

      Sounds like a great opportunity to start a line of Trump brand diapers. But the product will likely be shoddy, and then Trump will have another lawsuit on his hands for putting asbestos in the linings, or something.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, Evan.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Finally, some good news:
    “David A. Clarke Jr., the controversial Milwaukee County Sheriff and right-wing provocateur who was an ardent supporter of President Trump during the 2016 campaign, will not take a senior role with the Department of Homeland Security. The Washington Post reports that Clarke says he has rescinded his acceptance of the DHS’s offer to join the agency as an assistant secretary, and that Clarke, a regular guest on Fox News, apparently “believes his skills could be better utilized to promote the president’s agenda in a more aggressive role” elsewhere, according to an adviser. Delays surrounding the appointment apparently contributed to his decision to withdraw as well, according to a source close to the Trump administration who spoke with the Post.”

    Let me get the old “wingnut to English” translator out. Ahhh, yes, looks like “my skill could be better utilized elsewhere” translates to “I can’t withstand the scrutiny of a congressional investigation.”

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/06/sheriff-david-clarke-will-not-take-homeland-security-post.html

  • r m reddicks

    CYA. It’s not funny but I’d bet my ass hat on it.

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