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Made into sausages. That’s right. Kids’ tales.

Gather around and let me tell you a morality tale in the traditional style of the Germans which means terror and death. (Have you ever read Max Und Moritz? Recommend for all your little ones at bedtime!)

Cast your mind back into the long ago of 2012, when Mitt Romney was apparently the most evil Republican out there and we all rocked out to “Call Me Maybe” and “Gangnam Style” (unless you’re me, in which case you missed both of those things because you were working double shifts the whole fucking year and you didn’t have time for culture though now that you’re looking at the charts to write this blog post with, you’re kind of glad that year flew past you) and everyone was still hugely mad at all the banks because of the ruining-the-world-economy and then the bailout thing.

America was still in a housing crisis as the economy reeled from the magnitude of financial fuckery, and we couldn’t get a homeowners’ relief bill that would do anything about it, and that is how Larry Delassus came to die in open court fighting a foreclosure that Wells Fargo never should have executed.

This is John Stumpf, who was the CEO of Wells Fargo in 2012, a year he made nearly $23m and a year in which Larry Delassus died.

Are you ready for some epic fuckery? Because Wells Fargo brought you all the reasons for pitchforks you should ever need.

In early 2009, Larry got a letter from the bank informing him that due to the fact they’d had to pay his delinquent property taxes, his mortgage would be doubled effective immediately. At the time, Larry was actually six months ahead on his taxes; the bank had paid off his neighbor’s debt and they made a typo, so that became Larry’s problem. The veteran, in his sixties, suffered from a rare liver disease. He was on a very fixed income. He could not pay double the mortgage. By December, Wells decided to foreclose.

Larry had gotten a lawyer, but he didn’t specialize in mortgage or housing law. The lawyer found out about the typo and went to Wells. The bank, being the amoral cambions they are, admitted their mistake but said that now the situation had dragged on so long they just couldn’t reset Larry’s mortgage back to what it should be. He would have to pay a reinstatement fee of the past due amount (which, reminder, he should never have been charged) plus whatever other bullshit they could tack on.

Weirdly though the bank didn’t seem to want the money that badly, as they refused to tell Larry how much he would have to pay to reinstate his mortgage. Like, hung up on him when he tried to call. Then I think they must have had a meeting on the eighth floor and they came up with an even more bullshit response: They gave Larry 24 hours to come up with the amount he’d need to avoid foreclosure: $337,250.40.

They sold his house while he was in the hospital.

Now all of this is in the record and testified to in a court of law. It is settled fact. A bank officer came to court and testified that yes, they’d made an error, and yes, they’d refused to give the sick dude any information, and yes they’d refused to tell him how to fix it. And none of that fucking mattered, because Larry Delassus had not had the scratch to float the bank a loan of double his mortgage every month while they unfucked themselves.

Larry died in open court on the last day of his case, just before the judge was to deliver a ruling against him.

And that’s not even the most fucked part. The WORST part was this statement that Wells Fargo actually published. See if you can spot the line where the PR flak who wrote this actually unfurled her wings like this was Night On Bald Mountain.

Yep you read that right! See the PROBLEM was that Larry wanted his day in court and his friends supported him in that desire and nobody was thinking of the bank’s rights in all of this!

Anyway, when you’ve found your preferred farming implements let me know where and when we’re meeting.

This is the first in an occasional series reaching back in time to scream about bankers. Wonkette is not a banker and doesn’t steal from anyone. Please help us stay ad-free and living in houses.

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  • Joe Beese

    WF is rapidly replacing Monsanto in the hearts of its countrymen.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Koch Industries libel!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    the bank had paid off his neighbor’s debt and they made a typo, so that became Larry’s problem.

    Somehow, this was all a little less unsavory on Better Call Saul. Of course in that case, the regulators cared about the mistake…and they say fiction has to be believable.

  • Mavenmaven

    Now Trump is going to want to hire the writer of that letter as his director of communications…

  • Joe Beese

    Photoshopped. NM.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Thank goodness Wells Fargo was saved.”
    — Tim Geithner

  • Wells Fargo is getting more like the movie Fargo every day

    • Nockular cavity

      And more like the stagecoach robbers than the drivers.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    BTW, that judge sounds like a dick.

  • laughingnome

    Corporations are people my friend.

    • therblig

      said many times before, but “I’ll believe that when Texas executes one of them”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Nasty people. The kind of people who’d strap a helpless dog to the top of a speeding car. My kind of people, in other words.”

  • John Iwaniszek

    I’ll bet those first two sentences were joined with a big “but” in the first draft. Kudos to PR for wordsmithing that one!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Well this proves the point that Trump is running the presidency like a business.

  • Jamoche

    Too early for this, off to Consumerist for less rage-inducing…
    https://consumerist.com/2017/06/15/wells-fargo-accused-of-adding-years-to-modified-mortgages-without-telling-borrowers/
    “Wells Fargo Accused Of Adding Years To Modified Mortgages Without Telling Borrowers”
    Fuck it.

    • Wild Cat

      “But think of the shareholders!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I am so glad I got off my ass and took my money away from those thieves and went to a credit union. Fuck Wells Fargo with a chainsaw of lawsuits and declining stock prices FFS…

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh good – clearly this means there’s nothing horrible right now that would piss me off. I wasn’t expecting time for cold-shoulder outrage for another three-and-a-half years.

  • Wild Cat

    When Sartre wrote, “Other people are hell,” he probably didn’t have the average corporation in mind.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Corporations are people, my friend…

      • Wild Cat

        A straight man, a straight woman, and a lesbian walked into a bar in Hell . . .

        • PubOption

          “In Hell, it’s ten minutes to opening time. In Hell it’s always ten minutes to opening time.” – Peter Cook

  • Latverian Diplomat

    A friendly recommendation to join a Credit Union if at all possible.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      THIS!!1!!

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Oh, hey, this reminds me of why I am a Marxist.

    • OrG

      Yeah,it kinda slaps you in the face every day lately.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Fuck bankers and the ATM they rode in on. Double for Wells Fargo.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Boy, Howdy! I can’t wait until the Republicans get rid of Dodd-Frank and the CFPB to let all the ratfuckery begin again!

    • OrG

      FREEDOM!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Don’t forget gutting the funding for the Legal Services Corporation so poor people can’t get pro bono legal help anymore, either.

  • exinkwretch

    Wells Fargo and their fellow travelers get away with this shit because regulators and the Justice Department let them. None of these fuckers go to jail, ever. You will remember, the Holder Justice Department’s “remedy” was “we’ll look the other way as long as the federal treasury gets a nice but of all the money you stole.”

  • Crystalclear12

    My pitchfork is still on layaway.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I am ready to Rumble:

      leaf rake–check;
      new battery in flash light–check;
      extra battery–check.

      Let’s do this thing!

      • Crystalclear12

        Flash light? I was hoping to use my old torch from the Bush years?

      • natoslug

        I’ve got a pitchfork and a weed whip. The whip runs on 56 volt, 2.5Ah batteries. Is anyone bringing a generator so that we can keep our implements of extreme discomfort charged?

    • natoslug

      Mine needs a new handle. I was thinking it also could use sharper tines, but actually, the nice mix of rust and chicken manure on said tines will make it that much more effective.

  • O-ho the Wells Fargo wagon is-a
    Comin’ down the street
    O please don’t let it be for me!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    OT: Know how we all agreed that the baseball shooting wouldn’t lead to any sort of meaningful dialogue over gun control? I wasn’t prepared for the “We need more guns” response. From my idjit VA 05 Freedumb Caucus numbnuts:
    https://twitter.com/Rep_Tom_Garrett/status/875398386610040833

    • jesterpunk

      That is the go to response from every republican ever anytime there is a shooting, if you bring up gun control its not the time to talk about it and exploiting the tragedy. You have to wait 1 month from the last shooting to talk about gun control then it will be something that isnt needed because its been a month since the last shooting.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s a right to bear arms, not a duty to do so. I shouldn’t have to be my own security detail.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      “Every individual has the right to be their own security detail!”

      Tell that to the little girl whose dad shot her in the head teaching his sons “firearms safety.” Dig her up and ask if she feels like she was “secure” in her own home. Tell it to the kid whose dad shot him because he was sneaking into the house while cutting class, and dad thought he was an intruder. Tell it to the teenage girl whose brother blasted her with an AK-47 when she was sneaking into the house after a night of partying. Daddy taught him to shoot first and ask questions later, don’cha know. Tell it to….aaaah, what the fuck is the use. When it comes to guns, these assholes are as rational as “Mr. Ark” Ken Ham, without the wit and charm.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      So when will they pass legislation pre-empting MLB, MILB, the NFL, the NCAA, the NBA, the NHL and NASCAR from banning firearms at their events?

      • PubOption

        They won’t make an exception for the NBA.

      • Rags

        And Congress?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Hey, ya gotta be carrying the heavy stuff when buying a burger. If the pimply faced kid in the paper hat behind the counter charges, you’d better be able to put him down fast – because they’re dangerous as hell when they’re wounded.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a1fee42ee14e41d6fbbf979cf7700ccf6136fdfd2f88e1ee3d0c080b94cddf23.jpg

    • therblig

      yes, because this is what every public event should look like

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjqIJW_Qr3c

    • Notreelyhelping

      I hope he drops by the hospital to chat with Scalise about that. Particularly on New Catheter Day.

    • natoslug

      More guns on that particular baseball field, in the hands of the GOP’s Freedumb Cocks, would have done wonders for turning the shooting into a proper massacre. Normally I would say fewer guns is the solution, but in this one instance, I am somewhat ambivalent.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The power of the free market!

  • La forza del resistino

    WF no longer offer free toasters when you open a passbook account or when they open 3 lines of credit accounts for you.

    • therblig

      before they foreclose on you, they will send a representative to toss a toaster into your tub while you’re bathing.

    • natoslug

      One of my sisters in law (sister in law?) worked for WF when they were pulling that shit. She had a quota of new accounts she had to open every month, and a branch manager that would scream at her and the other underlings when they were falling behind. Eventually, my SIL was fired for not smiling enough. It would have to be one hell of a toaster to ever get me to do business with them again.

  • Michael Smith

    Well, if any lawyers out there are working for the City of Flint in their efforts to foreclose on the homes of people who haven’t paid for the death water, this might be a great case to look into for guidance!

    • They should bill the good for nothing layabout citizens of Flint for all the expensive pharmaceuticals and mineral supplements they’ve been lapping up at no extra charge for years.

  • jesterpunk

    OT but I didnt know Trump was in Massachusetts yesterday?

    Dumpster fire on wheels delays Providence Line, Amtrak

    http://www.universalhub.com/2017/dumpster-fire-wheels-delays-providence-line-amtrak

    • Major_Major_Major

      #Trumptrain!!

      • mfp

        didnt randy rhoads play guitar on that one?

  • Ilgattomorte

    Come on guys. Corporations are people.
    I mean, they’re sociopathic people, but they are people. They are the kind of people, that if given the chance, would chain you to a wall in their unheated basement and occasionally feed you dog food. Corporations are the kind of people that might piss on you, but only if you were in the way, and only if they really had to piss. They are the kind of people that would have a cold, dead stare that exuded nothing but contempt and dis-concern for all of mankind, if they were actually the kind of people that had eyes.

    This is why Antonin Scalia and the rest of the Republican Court thought they should have individual rights. It was because of a corporation’s inherent humanity.

    • Vecchioivan

      “Homo hominis lupus.” – Latin for “corporations are wolves too.”

  • memzilla Ω

    “This is too extreme even for me when I was alive.” — Ghost of Marley
    “Even I wouldn’t have done this in Bedford Falls.” — Old Man Potter
    “I drew the line at running a crooked casino.” — Biff Tannen

    • “That money’s too soaked in blood and tears for even me to bathe in.” – Scrooge McDuck

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        McDuck would be kicking ass and taking names – he doesn’t mind being a skinflint and a miser. But by thunder, he’s gonna be an honest skinflint and miser!
        “I’ve never trusted a dollar I did nae earn.”

    • wait! what?

      Well, you and the smarmy pundits in your pocket, those who bathe in the moisture of your soiled and bloodstained underwear, can take that noise and shove it. – Sean Penn

      • mailman27

        Sean Penn- overdrawn at the Metaphor Bank.

        • wait! what?

          Well picking on GWB is like shooting balloons in a barrel…

  • wait! what?
  • In the late 80s I drove around Northern California in my 1965 VW bus with “Bank of America Sucks!” Spray painted on the sides (in two foot tall letters, natch).

    I’m encouraged by the progress made in the banking industry since then.

    • Since all the banks have merged into a handful of ultramega corporations you’d need much less paint.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    This is like the scene in Caddyshack where Rodney Dangerfield drops his boat’s anchor in Ted Knight’s boat, then complains “You scratched my anchor!”

    Only, you know, not funny at all.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I loved both of those guys. But no one lives forever.

  • shivaskeeper

    My Wells Fargo story:

    Mrs Keeper had a car loan with WF from before we were married. I am her second husband. When she and her ex split they declared some sort of limited bankruptcy in 2002, I’m not sure which Chapter they filed for, or what the specifics were. The car was not part of the bankruptcy.

    She made her payments every month and WF took the money from her with no problems.Flash forward to late 2004 and we wake up to a skid mark in the driveway and the front fascia of the car in the driveway. It has obviously been towed away at high speed.

    WF had sent the repo men out for the car since she wasn’t making payments. Not true we said, she has has automatic billing since she took the loan. Well, they said, she had declared bankruptcy, so they were not allowed to apply the payments to the loan. Where the fuck did the money go we said. They said they thought it was a gift to the bank, and if we wanted the car we owed the last two years of payments on top of the rest of the balance of the loan. Eat a dick we said, give us back the money.

    It took a bit over a year to get them to give back the money for the payments they weren’t applying to the loan.

    TL,DR, Wells Fargo can eat a dick.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That is why I bank with my local credit union.

    • Their stagecoach loans are no better.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        None of them have been paid off yet.

    • MizzMazz

      A gift to the bank??? What kind of bullshit weaksauce is that?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Who doesn’t love a group of sociopathic assholes?

      • shivaskeeper

        That was the call that had Mrs Keeper throw her old school Nokia phone/walky-talky at the garage wall hard enough to break the phone

        • Regret

          She broke a old school Nokia?!

          • shivaskeeper

            Not just any Nokia. One of the old ones that was a phone and PTT walkie talkie. The industrial grade kind.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Any corporation that thinks the money they receive is a “gift” is either lying or needs to have their PR people staked out over anthills at high noon. Big, bitey, anthills.

      • shivaskeeper

        It wasn’t a PR person, just some random ass in the complaint department. We were in GA, so I had an abundance of fire ant nests. Also Cow Killer ants.

        • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

          One hears good things about bullet ants, they’re being recognized more and more!

    • not_vh

      hahahaha!!! gift to the bank. rofl.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Silly WF. Everyone knows “gifts to the bank” are to be paid in toasters.

    • Edith Prickly

      Excuse me – a gift to the bank? WTF does that even mean? Nobody sends money to a goddamn bank for no reason.

    • Nockular cavity

      Hey Wells Fargo: I got yer gift to the bank right here!

  • theblackdog

    I used to have an account with Wells Fargo but I dropped them when I moved to the east coast. This is definitely a reason to never go back to them, especially as I start looking at doing a refi of my current mortgage.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Who needs Max Und Moritz, when you’ve got Dunderback?

  • TJ Barke

    Can’t you see that all the meddlesome regulations are what made this happen!? No? Fair enough.

  • therblig

    i’d be interested in what his neighbor thought was going on.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Why don’t we have postal savings banks like some developed countries?

    Oh – we did! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Postal_Savings_System

    • TJ Barke

      America is dedicated to finding new and innovative ways to let corporations bleed the populace dry.

    • OddMan

      Back when I was a lad, dinosaurs roamed the plains, and the grade school I went to marched the entire 4th or 5th grade class down to the Savings and Loan and we all opened up a passbook savings account. We got little books and everything, it was my first savings account and paid something like 4 or 5%.

      The good old days had some nice things.

      • Doug Langley

        I remember that! Dump in something like a nickel a week or so. And the bank would give us money for doing so!!

        Nowadays they can’t even be bothered to send us canceled checked. Or copies of them.

  • OddMan

    It is so nice to be pissed off at something besides the abysmal trump administration.

    Oh . . . wait, nine days in trump did this.
    Donald Trump Just Gave Wells Fargo a Break | Fox Business
    http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/2017/01/29/donald-trump-just-gave-wells-fargo-break.html

    PS Fox business thought it was great.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Still stuck at BofA for a little while longer – I want to look at moving to one of the local credit unions (we have two here that are really good), but it would take about a month to untangle all the financial stuff that is auto-withdrawn from my accounts.

    • jesterpunk

      Can you open a credit union account and transfer some of your deposits there while you move things over?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Maybe. Trouble is I only get paid monthly, so it’s one deposit a month.

        • shivaskeeper

          Let the payments go out, Open the new account and transfer the rest of the balance to it, then set up the new payments to go from the new account. Let whoever is receiving the payments know they are going to be coming form a new account and financial institution and there may be some hiccups the first moth. They are can be surprisingly understanding if they know it’s going to happen.

    • shivaskeeper

      When I switched over to my current bank decades ago now, auto-pay was a pretty new thing, but I called all the creditors first and let them know payments might be late as I was changing banks. They were all willing to work with me. as long as I got caught up. Don’t know if it still works that way though.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Interesting fact: home rentals are increasing while home buying is slowly on the decline. They might want to find a way to skim money off of renters instead of home owners.

    • TJ Barke

      Mortgages can be paid off, rent is forever.

      • TJ Barke

        This is one peril of a permanent right libertardian system, it’ll create a permanent ownership class, that will basically own EVERYTHING and charge everyone else rent for EVERYTHING forever, creating a system of pseudo slavery.

        • Rags

          They don’t ​call it ‘rent seeking’ for nuttin’.

      • Think of it this way, you pay for a place to live.

        Rentals can be gotten out of with 30-60 days notice.

        Ever try to sell a home after you lost your job and 2000 of your neighbors want to sell their homes because they lost their jobs, too?

        There’s almost no “Black Swan” scenario that can financially doom a renter.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They’re already on that – renting out the houses that they kicked people out of.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Yeah, one of my sister’s friends is the only one on her block that actually pays a mortgage. Every other house is a rental unit.

    • wait! what?

      New home buying is in decline, banking regulations are gutted, credit debt swaps come back with a vengencep; I guess America is officially great, again.

      • Predisenting Ron

        You think 2007 was bad? Hold our beer!
        – the banks

        • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

          You’ve obviously never partied with bankers, Ron.

          It’s magnum bottles of champagne all the way.

          • Predisenting Ron

            Okay, but ‘hold my magnum’ has very different connotations.

  • https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6614d8571546ce75f55be05373c8838e3d7497c4302c1a42a3a1d4a04df4270.jpg

    I wish I still believed in hell, so the rich fuckers could feel all of the collective pain and misery they’ve caused throughout their lifetimes of fuckery. .

  • MynameisBlarney

    If corporations are people, then Wells Fargo needs to be tried for murder.

    • wait! what?

      Apparently, they are mentally challenged enough to be executed in Texas, too…

    • And WTF was the judge doing ruling against this guy???

      • MynameisBlarney

        Gettin paid most likely.

    • Alan

      Yeah, they’re the other kind of people.

      • Ducksworthy

        Near immortal non-human invaders.

    • Regret

      Isn’t one of the rules in a murder trial that the defendant shows up personally?
      I’m very interested to see how a corporation will fit into one room.
      Facts:

      The people who work for corporations are not the corporation.
      The stocks are not the corporation.
      The buildings are not the corporation.
      What is the effect of not showing up for your trial?
      I think in that case the courts should freeze all their accounts because they are a flight risk.

      • SadDemInTex

        I thought that SCOTUS declared corporations people ergo they can go to jail….💀

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      To be scrupulously fair, not people – legal persons.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
  • Vincent Ricola

    Wells Fargo sucks. They held off 3 months on applying my payoff to the credit card I had with them and tried to ruin my credit by reporting each month as late. Sometime during month 2, I called their “customer service line” furious, and they patched me through to a supervisor guy who tried to “well, actually” interrupt/talk over me the whole time and think he was going to somehow tricky math me like I was some kind of fucking idiot. I still draw on the joy I felt telling them they could take their high-interest, low-benefit credit card and shove it up their collective asses.

    Edit: Just wanted to say that Wells Fargo can eat a bag of dicks one more time.

  • marxalot

    You know, pitchforks get a lot of press, and spading forks are almost as good. Hoes, naturally, come to mind, as do cross-plows, but I’ve always been partial to the mattock.

  • Oh jeez, I’m going to have to deal with WF in the foreseeable future, as my mother, who is in home hospice, has a reverse mortgage with them. I may not sleep tonight.

    • Shanzgood 22 Days

      I don’t know much about them but reverse mortgages seem SO predatory. I mean, why else advertise them at 4am when all the Oldz are awake?

      • Alan

        They advertise them when the only people who benefit from them are awake. Nothing wrong with the concept of a reverse mortgage but the fees are typically too high.

        • There is plenty wrong with a “reverse mortgage”
          Firstly, it is nothing of the kind: It is a loan. A high interest loan that you might not have to pay back but your estate mother fucking does.
          Secondly, they will estimate the price your house is worth, give you a portion of its worth, then you “don’t pay back!” but your payments and interest are accruing the entire time. When you die, or just leave your home and go to say a nursing home, your estate/self pays back the whole friggin (original loan, interest, etc) or foreclose.
          The neat trick is it is Insured By The Government! Meaning guess what- those foreclosures? The taxpayers are paying the banks the full amount of the loan (plus fees and interest mind! And it is pretty high I think- My parents for example borrowed 70k in their “reverse mortgage” and 4 years later owed 125k; near twice the amount in 4 years time).

          And then they get to turn around and auction off the property.
          The entire fucking thing is a big scam top to bottom and back again.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            as it was explained to me in property law class, a reverse mortgage MIGHT be an option in some circumstances.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Yeah, if you’ve no kids, and stage 4 lung cancer.

          • Alan

            That’s kind of odd. Unless you think that paying back money borrowed is wrong there’s nothing inherently wrong with a HECM. As I said, the problem is the fees. Your parents didn’t borrow 70K, that’s probably how much cash they were left with after financing thousand dollars of origination, up-front insurance, and third party closing costs. Then it’s not just interest that accrues. There is also a monthly loan servicing fee and an insurance fee of 1-1.5% of the outstanding balance so that also grows with time. It’s just like any loan. You borrow money, interest accrues, you pay it back or forfeit the collateral. It’s the fees that kill you. One point: taxpayers don’t bail anyone out, that’s why the insurance requirements are in place and the premiums are pretty big compared to other mortgages because the risk of default is pretty high. Although I do often wonder why kids would care what happens to their parent’s house when they can’t occupy it anymore.

          • dansezlajavanaise

            in today’s world, not every adult (or even middle-aged) kid is able to buy their own home. they might want to have their parents to live in or sell for a down-payment.

          • Alan

            That’s stunningly presumptuous of them. It’s not their house. Also a tad ghoulish.

          • dansezlajavanaise

            families can figure these things out for themselves, but passing down any wealth in the form of cash or real-estate is a worthy approach. i’m not sure what’s ghoulish in doing what you can to give a leg up to your own kids. i have trouble adopting a mindset where i have 0 care for my kids’ financial well-being once they leave my house.

          • Alan

            That’s not what your previous comment, the one that I responded to, was about. You’ve changed the subject.

  • Manders

    They have their grubby paws all over my 401K, and I fervently wish they did not.

    • chortlingdingo

      Yeah, mine too. My office uses them, so unless I want to forfeit the employer match, I don’t have any choice.

  • Lily412

    In case anyone wants to call Judge Laura Conway Ellison and tell her what a garbage person she is for siding with Wells Fargo, here’s her number:
    Ellison, Laura

    (310) 787-3712
    I tried, and failed, to find her Twitter account.

    • doktorzoom

      No. We do not tolerate doxxing here, or calls to harass anyone. Pull that again and you’ll be visited by the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi). While you’re at it, please review the rules.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • C4TWOMAN

        A respectful query:

        I agree completely when this is some rando. But isn’t a judge a public figure, who can by definition be call out and contacted by the public?

        EDIT: It is not clear if the number posted above is the office or private residence. I assumed it was an office. Definitely no one should be bothering a private residence.

      • Lily412

        Sorry, Dok. I didn’t think that would be a violation since that information is publicly available on the California court’s website. It’s her office number: https://www.lacourt.org/judicialofficers/ui/SearchResult.aspx

    • Lily412

      I want to go on record as saying that I do not agree with doxxing, and I was actually trying to give people her office number. But please do not harass this lady. Her office is an elected one, so tell your peeps in Cali to vote her out of office.

  • BearGHAZI
  • Ducksworthy

    Question. Did Steve Mnuchin end up buying the house along with the thousands of other “distressed” properties he and his pals bought to become huge giant slumlords everywhere in America?

  • MrTusks

    This is baffling. How did the court rule against him? Did he make his regular payment instead of the double payment, or did he stop paying all together? If only there was a government agency, or, perhaps a bureau, dedicated to protecting the financial interests of consumers?

    • KillerMartinis

      He stopped paying as they wouldn’t take partial payments IIRC. He did not pay into escrow which would have been the legal way to not pay Wells.

      • That’s insane. They would not take his money, because it was partial the amount that he did not actually owe them, and the court ruled that he stopped paying

        • BosGrl

          This is why I rent.

  • Pilotshark

    “Wells Fargo to pay $1.2 billion in U.S. mortgage fraud settlement”
    yep though so, are they also ones who was making loans for people who did not know about, so they could add to their bottom line?

    • javadavis

      New accounts, not necessarily loans, but, yeah that’s them.

      • Pilotshark

        thanks

  • Yr. Gma

    Yes, but when that stagecoach goes by, pulled by those galloping horses on its way to the branch down there on Main St., everyone on the freeway slows down to cheer them on.

  • PixieThis

    There is truly evil in the world. I think people should know about this and move every penny they can away from big banks. Just-stop-using-them, with the exception of company funded things. And even then, send information to you company management that you’d like them to consider using someone else. They do this over and over again because they make money. The rich get their ice in Summer and the poor get theirs in Winter.

  • whitroth

    I’d forgotten this story, KM.

    Paging Mssrs Marat, Reboespierre, and Guillotene!

  • Le Covfefe Royal
  • Nodrama4mama

    I hated Wells Fargo and tried to never bank with them. I would get my loans and refinancing through other methods and Wells Fargo would always end up buying my fucking loans.

  • Wookie Monster

    (Looks inside shed)

    Sorry, all I could find was a leaf rake.

    • whitroth

      Would a manure fork and a tiki torch do?

      And I have an account with Wachovia, er, sorry, Washington Mutual (a “woo-hoo moment”), oops, the Evil Ones.

      • Wookie Monster

        The biggest crime Wachovia ever committed was acquiring First Union, because now I will never again hear on the radio that the Philly Flyers are playing at the F-U Center tonight.

      • Bitter Scribe

        You’d need a load of manure to go with it.

        • Predisenting Ron

          Okay, stopping by the WH first. Gotcha.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I hate banks. I know we can’t live without them, but I hate them.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      When I was little, which is 60 years ago, all the banks in my town were locally-owned. We knew the owners, they knew us, we went to school with their kids, we went to church with them, we greeted each other at 4th of July picnics. They gave us nifty gifts when we opened accounts, like toasters or radios or golf club bags. They would give local people loans without collateral based solely on personal integrity and reputation. They lived in the community so they didn’t dare screw us. Today all but one bank in this town is part of a national corporation.

      I got my first mortgage 30 years ago from a small local Savings & Loan because they serviced all mortgages in-house. A year later Mercantile Bank bought the S&L and promised they wouldn’t sell my mortgage on, but then Mercantile was bought by USBank, who sold my mortgage so fast your head would spin.

      • BosGrl

        Yes. We had a nice locally owned bank in my hometown and then it changed hands to national banks like 5 times in 10 years. The same people worked at the windows, but it wasn’t a community bank anymore. However – the town’s credit union is run by people you went to school with or have some other kind of relationship in the town. Definitely better.

      • teele

        Remember Christmas Clubs? At 8 or 10 years old, you would open a bank account and put in a quarter a week, and end up in December having enough to buy your mother and father a swell gift for the holiday. No bank would ever consider dealing with such small amounts now, so kids don’t get to discover the joys of saving, and how banks work.

        • mfp

          banks dont want kids to know how they work

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Ahh, Wells Fargo. . . .they bought my mortgage 8 years ago. My mortgage was sold FOUR times in the first two weeks, and it ended up with these blood suckers. When I am Benevolent Dictator of the Universe, I will pass a law saying nobody can sell your mortgage without your consent. Won’t the mortgage companies squeal?? And I will say Bwahahaha!

    Neighbor of mine had 7% WF mortgage and his wife died of cancer 3 years ago, and without her income he couldn’t pay the mortgage. He called them to request refinancing at the then-3% interest rate. If this had been approved, he could have kept the house. But WF said sorry, we can’t consider you for refinancing because you now don’t qualify for a mortgage as you have half the income. He said yeah, that’s why I need to refinance. They said sorry, you don’t qualify because half the. . .He lost the house to foreclosure. WF lost $60,000 they would not have lost if they had let him refinance. These are not smart business people. Or maybe they are. . . maybe they WANTED a $60,000 loss for some nefarious reason.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Can his family/estate sue over this?

    • javadavis

      I am blind guessing that they might get wrongful death into civil court but buck passing for the fault would end up on some stupid schlub who fat fingered the wrong address in the first place. And then they’d say “not our fault he was sick”
      I believe that one of the drawbacks of the bailout was a layer of protections for the banks if they coughed up something for a lot of the people they screwed over.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They would not get wrongful death because of his medical history. An elderly neighbor of mine died in a hospital that “forgot” to give her her heart medication for a week, and her children wanted to sue. Three attorneys said “No case” because of her medical history. They said she was already old and sick and you couldn’t prove she wouldn’t have died anyway, because no doctor would get on the witness stand and say so based on her history.

        • Lefty Wright

          Reminds me of an obituary I read several years ago saying a 103 year old lady died unexpectedly. At 103, waking up in the morning is unexpected, not dying.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      No. Technically – and I mean “technically” as in the way lawyers and judges think, not the way sane, rational people think – Mr. Delassus exacerbated the problem by stopping paying his mortgage after the inaccurate over-billing by WF. His family would be wasting their money.

      Also, the judge would say there’s no victim, because he died. That happened to an aunt of mine. A relative forged thousands of dollars worth of checks in her name, I had POA and tried to get him arrested and was going to sue him for restitution, but then Aunt died, and I was told “No victim.” Case dropped.

      • Bitter Scribe

        And the POS got to keep the money?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          He got to keep the stuff he bought with the money, which was mostly booze and electronic shit from eBay and drugs. But I found out about it and closed her checking account, and then he bounced several big checks at national chains like Lowe’s. What the stores did about it I don’t know, but I had to travel to 5 different police stations in 5 different counties to file a separate police report about each check. You’d think this stuff would be centralized, but Oh, No. If someone steals your checkbook and travels to Denver before using it, you have to travel to Denver to file the police report. That is just stupid. They have fax machines, don’t they? They won’t let you fax the report, you have to do it in person. Have you been in a police station lately? It’s all steel barred windows and bullet-proof glass at the counters, they treat you like a criminal even though you are the victim. At two stations I couldn’t even SEE the policeman I was talking to because they had one-way mirrored glass windows. I bet they got a big grant from HOS to pay for that. After 5 months not one of those police departments had gotten around to requesting the security videos from the stores where he bounced the checks. I knew the police were stupid, but I had no idea HOW stupid. . .

          • Bitter Scribe

            Hey, those doughnuts won’t eat themselves.

            Sorry you had to go through that. I hope your relative straightens out, or at least starts stealing from someone else.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            He has disappeared, and I say good riddance. One day he won’t be able to pay his drug bill and someone will shoot him. I just hope he has ID on him at the time so the family is notified that he is dead. That way we can all stop wishing he was dead.

          • sw19covfefe

            Q: Would it be a federal crime if it was done in several states? i.e. FBI jurisdiction “crossing state lines” etc.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            No. The crime was forging the checks, and that occurred in a locality, not while crossing state lines. It might be a federal crime to carry stolen property (the checkbook) across state lines. If the police had actually done their jobs a bit faster and charged him, then crossing state lines would have made him an interstate fugitive, and at that point you can contact the FBI, but he was never charged.

          • sw19covfefe

            Thanks for the explanation!

      • nightmoth

        JFC! So sorry.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Thanks. She was 91 and she died peacefully, so it’s OK.

          • Learning64

            Wow, that sucks.

  • javadavis

    You had to mention Gangnam Style. Now I have to post my favorite parody (complete with One Guy labeled “Not An Astronaut”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sar5WT76kE

    • nightmoth

      NASA has posted several clever and funny videos. Love them for this!

      • sw19covfefe

        BECAUSE THE EARTH IS FLAT AND THEY ARE EXPERTS AT FAKING VIDEOS AND STUFF!@!@!@!!!!!!!

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          If the earth was flat, cats would’ve knocked everything over the edge by now.

  • Roadstergal

    We moved from WF to a local credit union for our mortgage. I recognize our privelige in doing so. Fuck them.

    • Bob

      We recently did just that as well. I agree. Fuck them.

      We’ve got a pitchfork at the ready too.

    • nightmoth

      I closed my checking account with them and put it in a different bank.

  • calliecallie

    Wanking bankers!

  • Predisenting Ron

    I have a genuine hay-tossing pitchfork out back of the shed with the other garden tools. It’s old. It’s rusty. There’s probably enough tetanus germs on it to give a whale lockjaw. And it’s quite dull, so you’d almost certainly have to jab it several times to get it to penetrate something.
    You know, in case anyone needs it. For gardening.

    • Gardening with Rusty Votes!

      • Predisenting Ron

        I prefer ‘iron-enriched.’

  • Carpe Vagenda

    That’s heartbreaking.

  • Zyxomma

    Fuckin’ fuckers!!! Move your money to a credit union. If you don’t have one nearby, you have my sympathy.

  • It’s people like this what give capitalism a bad name. I mean, it is obvious that is is Delassus fault. He got a loan through Wells Fargo to begin with. If he didn’t want to be fucked over royally, what the hell did he do that for?

  • sw19covfefe

    Reminds me of the old Mark Twain quote: “A banker is a fellow that will lend you an umbrella when it’s dry, and then stab you in the eyes with it, the moment it starts raining.”

  • Learning64

    Left that bank 20 years ago. They are the absolute WORST money-grubbing assholes on earth.

  • ky ho

    There’s a reason Jeebus kicked these Satanic fucks out the temple.

  • JayGoldenBeach

    We must stop electing politicians who bend us over to be fisted by Big Business oligarchs and Wall Street money changers.

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