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“Chicks! They never shut up, amirite?”

Wonkette is only a Mommyblog and Recipe Exchange, but we are almost certain that THIS is not how Uber wanted its board meeting covered on Tuesday.

Instead of rolling out their new DON’T BE SO DAMN SEXIST Policies, Uber is #winning with this exchange between board members Arianna Huffington and David Bonderman.

Huffington: There’s a lot of data that shows when there’s one woman on the board, it’s much more likely that there will be a second woman on the board.

Bonderman: Actually what it shows is that it’s much likely to be more talking.

Huffington: Oh. Come on, David.

Of course there’s audio! Uber shooting itself in the dick is at 6:40.

Yes, even if you are Arianna goddamned Huffington, founder of a media empire, you will get actually-ed at a business meeting. Also, David Bonderman is full of shit. Per the New York Times:

Mr. Bonderman’s original comments, according to experts, also lack merit.

Tali Mendelberg, professor of politics at Princeton University, and Christopher Karpowitz, an associate professor of political science at Brigham Young University, conducted a study in 2012 concluding that men talked far more than women did at meetings. The professors convened 94 groups of five people and varied the number of men and women in the groups. Their study is in line with multiple others drawing similar conclusions — men talk more than women, and men interrupt more than women.

“The study shows that men will dominate the conversation if there are more men than women in the group, and they dominate by a lot,” Ms. Mendelberg said in an interview. “When you have just two women in the group, those women are much more silent than men are.”

Later Uber’s head of HR instructed the participants to “stand up and give each other a hug.” Because if we all just touch each other, sexual harassment will be solved forever!

Rush Week: Uber or Pike?

Tuesday’s meeting was supposed to allow Uber to turn over a new leaf after a disastrous six months. In early February, former Uber employee Susan Fowler’s viral blog post detailed years of sexual harassment and retaliation at the company. “Badboy” CEO Travis Kalanick immediately responded that he was shocked and appalled.

I believe in creating a workplace where a deep sense of justice underpins everything we do.

Which was slightly undercut by the release of a 2013 email to all Uber employees instructing them on how to hook up on a business trip. Kalanick was bumming hard that he’d have to stay out of the office hot tub orgy, though.

Do not have sex with another employee UNLESS a) you have asked that person for that privilege and they have responded with an emphatic “YES! I will have sex with you” AND b) the two (or more) of you do not work in the same chain of command. Yes, that means that Travis will be celibate on this trip. #CEOLife #FML

Kalanick further encouraged his employees to behave professionally at the corporate meeting.

Do not throw large kegs off of tall buildings. Please talk to Ryan McKillen and Amos Barreto for specific insights on this topic…

There will be a $200 puke charge for any public displays on the Shore Club premises. Shore Club will be required to send pictures as proof.

Normal advice for a 37-year-old CEO of a multi-national corporation, right?

Catcalling Wonder Woman

With #DeleteUber trending (always), Uber assembled a crisis team including former Attorney General Eric Holder and HuffPo founder Arianna Huffington. Holder’s law firm Covington and Burling produced a report and list of recommendations. Agenda Item 1: Get rid of Travis Kalanick! Only, they said it in lawyertalk.

Review and Reallocate the Responsibilities of Travis Kalanick. The Board should evaluate the extent to which some of the responsibilities that Mr. Kalanick has historically possessed should be shared or given outright to other members of senior management. The search for a Chief Operating Officer should address this concern to some extent.

At Tuesday’s all-hands meeting, Arianna Huffington announced that Kalanick would indeed be “taking a leave of absence” from the company. Uber will also be revamping its policies to replace “Always Be Hustlin'” with “Don’t Proposition Your Supervisees.” And if you need a high-priced lawyer to tell you this shit, you’re doing it wrong.

Huffington also welcomed a new board member, Wan Ling Martello. Currently the CEO for Nestle in Asia, Martello has held senior executive positions at Walmart and Kraft and sits on the board of China’s Alibaba. This woman is a BFD Serious Adult, and still she’s the butt of Girls Talk Too Much Har Har jokes.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!

Bonderman has resigned from the board and apologized, more or less.

Today at Uber’s all-hands meeting, I directed a comment to my colleague and friend Arianna Huffington that was careless, inappropriate, and inexcusable. The comment came across in a way that was the opposite of what I intended but I understand the destructive effect it had, and I take full responsibility for that.

Well, bless his heart!

And sexism was solved and they all lived happily ever after! HOORAY!

[Vox / New York Times / Yahoo Finance / SusanJFowler.com / Vox, again / Recode]

HE SEEMS NICE! Please contribute to Wonkette – maybe we’ll find a NICETIMES story for tomorrow?

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  • Villago Delenda Est

    Perhaps these testosterone-addled without balls wonders can advise John McCain about his behavior towards Kamala Harris?

    • msanthropesmr

      Chicks get so bitchy when they’re on their period.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        you misspelled the rag

    • Michael Smith

      They do seem like they would be naturals at today’s political game.

  • msanthropesmr

    Fuck Uber. Fuck them a lot. Asswipes. Disruptive tech my ass. My ass has more disruptive technology. Fuck these guys.

  • Joe Beese

    I’m amusing myself imagining how he intended that comment to come across.

    • msanthropesmr

      Suave.

  • A Groucho Marxist

    I bet he thought that was going to be super funny, too. SURPRISE, FUCKER, NOT FUNNY

    • Joe Beese

      Not caught on the audio was his warm-up joke, tailored to an IT crowd.

      My brother complained to me that his girlfriend is frigid. I said, “Have you tried turning her off and then turning her on again?”

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    As someone who gets paid to sit through boring dreadful meetings, I can promise you that men can run their mouths just fine

  • MynameisBlarney

    Brilliant strategery there, Hannibal.

  • Wild Cat

    That UPS joint had a better method of corporate disruption today. And now they can hire three new workers at half the pay.

  • msanthropesmr

    I picture Arianna Huffington as the bear on the Cleveland show who says “Oh come on” and then mauls this asshole.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Remind me to keep an eye out for the Lyft IPO.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Rich white dudes have no self control.

    • Vecchioivan

      Where are the fathers?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Dead and forking over tons of cash.

    • shoeflyin

      Never have to learn control when you can always buy your way out of any problems.

  • Vecchioivan

    ‘Do not have sex with another employee UNLESS a) you have asked that person for that privilege and they have responded with an emphatic “YES!”‘

    So, don’t commit rape. Got it.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I will give them credit for at least writing that part down. Say, half a point out of 100?

    • Joe Beese

      Sometimes it’s the small details that are so important.

    • Michael Smith

      This one is probably not going to make it into the 2017 update to the Standard Forms for Employee Handbooks.

      Though actually it might be useful given the apparent lack of understanding in our society as to this obvious rule.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I’m ready to be flamed for this but…

      I honestly don’t have a problem with the email. It’s hipsterese for “Act responsibly, don’t rape anyone, don’t commit sexual harassment with someone you supervise, but you can still have a good time.”

      • Vecchioivan

        I’m too old to interpret the “slang” the young folks use these days, so just ignore me and the onion on my belt. Smiley face.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          I is A Old too, so… Winking face!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I’m sort of with you, but you still have to have a feel for appropriate time and place. While your business is crashing is not the time and place.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          But this email was sent when they were GROWING, not on the downside.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            You’re right. I was responding to his comments to Ms. Huffington. You were talking about the email. I probably wouldn’t have been upset by that email.

      • HarpyLibtart

        Meh, seems like an acknowledgement that shit like that HAD happened before and instead of ‘hey, how about y’all start acting like grown adults with jobs’ management is like ‘look, just keep the frat boy antics legal, we have to pay for your dumbshit shenangians this time’.
        And don’t get me wrong, I love both binge drinking and the ensuing irrational hijinks probably more than the next girl, but I’ve been drunk enough to try to put an entire tree in a bonfire and literally forget how belts work and at no point did I need to be told ‘don’t rape anyone’ or ‘don’t fling large metal objects that could hurt people off a building’, because I’m not an idiot.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    speaking of terrible human beings, I’ll just leave this here:

    “Columnist argues that Bill Cosby is “taking the hit for men who’ve wronged women””

    http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/06/14/the-worst-take-columnist-argues-that-bill-cosby-is-taking-the-hit-for-men-whove-wronged-women/

    • Wild Cat

      Goshdarnit! Now I’m in my soft fatherly slippers rubbing my dog’s head in my nice NYC brownstone pleased that my medical career never involves working and I want a fucking pudding pop!

      • Jon Sussex

        Yeah but do you have an ugly sweater?

    • sw19covfefe

      I think him taking the hit as “a man who’s wronged women” will do fine, tbh.

    • Christopher Story

      God damned right he is. Shame it had to be Cosby, but yeah, this is for every other woman who’s been victimized by men like him.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        see, that’s kinda my problem. She seems to argue that Cosby isn’t guilty – that it wasn’t rape….that they’re just targeting him cause they were abused (?)

        I dunno.

        • Christopher Story

          Cosby didn’t get targeted 42 times.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ikr?
            And apparentlyt his is just one victim…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Christine Flowers is a poor knock-off of Ann Coulter – she’s well-known in the Philly area for being barely competent, and prior to this rolling tire fire (which I am still shocked managed to be printed by a reputable broadsheet) was best known for complaining that “pro-life” women were not invited to the Women’s March and saying that she wanted to “strangle” Lena Dunham.

      • Three Finger Salute

        OK nobody should want to strangle anybody except with votes, but to be fair… didn’t Lena Dunham rape her sister?

  • whitroth

    I do not *ever* plan to use Uber *or* Lyft. Thank you, if I have to, and public transit’s not an option (it stopped running, or whatever), I’ll call a cab: licensed, inspected, and bonded.

    And most of the time, more professional.

    ObDisclosure: in my mid-20s, before I started working professional, I drove for Yellow in Philly for a couple of years. “Part time – that’s 42hr/week, not the 46hr/6 days/week of “full time”

    • Vecchioivan

      Good on ya!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      and identifiable (it’s always a good idea to know the cab number you’re in).

  • msanthropesmr
  • Suttree

    Fuck Uber. I am more than happy to take a fucking taxi, like Jesus intended. Why do people use Uber? I am at a lose. Can someone explain this to me.

    • msanthropesmr

      It is cheap. Cheap cheap cheap. And it is more convenient. You push a button and the car shows up. I wish that taxi firms had decent apps, but in my experience, they don’t.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        many of them do now

        • msanthropesmr

          Not where I am or have traveled in the last two years. Still won’t use Uber. Rather, and indeed I have, walk. Denver and San Antonio in the last two months and no taxi apps. And the taxi from my house in Richmond to the airport is 45 bucks and an Uber is 8. But fuck Uber so much. I will fucking walk.

          • Suttree

            How does anyone make money that way! BTW I have a friend in Atlanta who drove for Uber for a few months in between jobs. She said that she made enough to put gas in her car and buy new tires.That was it.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            they don’t, really. I talked to a couple of drivers and they said many work both as cabbies and for Uber/Lyft. They make less with the latter, but get more volume from millennials in love with their apps

          • Suttree

            Apparently I’m old school at 40. But I grew up taking graffiti covered subways in NYC. This app bullshit screams derp to me.

          • Jennifer R

            You don’t. As long as you can drive for a few years then they don’t care. Eventually your car quits or you don’t make enough to keep rent and your life spirals out, or you die from lack of healthcare. In the end they replace you with another person trying to find rent.

          • Jenny

            Yeah they don’t really earn a thing. My ex used what he learned from uber to start an uber style limo company but all in all the cost of driving his expensive cars for someone else was a big loser.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Vegas has them. And they’ll be everywhere soon enough. I doubt I’ll need one though- the only time I use a taxi is leaving the airport or leaving the hotel, both places have taxi stands

          • Werewolf

            Austin now has coop cabs with an app. Of course, Uber and Lyft, who left Austin because the city unfairly required that they follow municipal regulations are back, because they bribed enough Repubes in the Texas Lege to overturn local control. Grrrr.

      • Joe Beese

        Calling a taxi: more expensive. Being driven by someone with a criminal background check: priceless.

      • Suttree

        I can almost remember the numbers to Yellow and Black and White in New Orleans. I worked in bars for years. I had my own taxi driver for special drunken occasions though. You just had to plan a few drinks ahead and Raymond would come pick you up.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          a place in austin was the best for drunken folk. number was 777-7777.

          That’s not a joke.

          • Suttree

            I think that Yellow was 341-7777. :)

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            other austinites or former austinites will remember, but i’m almost sure it was all 7’s. Or maybe all 4s.

            It wasn’t a known firm, it was like Al’s Taxi or someshit. It’s been 20 years.

          • Suttree

            I will always take a hack. Just because there is some random name on the side of a vehicle and a meter is good enough for me.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            I still remember the jingle for the local one here, even though they haven’t used it in over 15 years:

            Three three three, thirty three thirty three
            Reno-Sparks cab is your company

        • Jennifer R

          The problem is talking at all.
          Phones are a phobic issue but if I can just order weed with a button press (I don’t engage in ride sharing chicanery because I see it as a form of union busting) even if it costs a little more…

          • Suttree

            Ok, but you are an exception. I get weird and non-talkative at times and I can understand that. I am just confounded that there are giant businesses built around the fact that people don’t want to get in a cab. I used to have a friend that wouldn’t drunkenly walk two blocks to the store because he had to drive there. Walking was for poor people.

          • Jennifer R

            Also lots of people think cabs are dirty and driven by undesirables and they assume all their lyfts and ubers are college kids with clean new model cars.

          • Suttree

            That is why I love cabs!

          • Indivisible Snark Tank

            I always assume that the people who rode in the cab before me had sex and left…um….presents behind. Of course, this is also true of any Uber/Lyft I take, too. Too many viewings of “Taxicab Confessions” and “Taxi Driver”.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s sometimes a little bit cheaper, depending on the city and time of day. Oh and a lot of cab companies don’t have apps yet. That’s about it.

      • Suttree

        If you have a goddam phone that can take apps, you have a phone that you can google a fucking cab company. Fuck this lazy app bullshit! When I was a kid they still had phone books chained to the pay phone!

        • Jennifer R

          Sounds like there wasn’t enough milk in your neighborhood if it was still on the booth.

    • sw19covfefe

      It’s a niche market that’s possibly outgrown itself: by continuing to be cheaper and more efficient than licensed cabs.
      Some people can’t afford a cab, and some people are willing to earn some extra cash as an Uber driver. At least that was the premise, right at the start. And that part sounds fair enough to me.
      Capitalism is exploitation: i.e. right up to the edge of how much either side wishes to be ‘exploited’. That’s the concept of voluntary exchange, in a nutshell.
      If you have ethical considerations, then sure, don’t become a ‘participant’ – customer or driver…. and I’m perfectly willing these days to cede the point about the need for limited regulation.
      :)

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Part of the problem is that uber can be cheaper because they’re not paying for the sort of overhead like liability insurance and licensing that the cab companies do- that’s all well and good until you end up in an accident in one of their “independent contractor’s” vehicles. Or worse yet, the occasional horror story of an unvetted driver…

      • Suttree

        Alright sw19. That is the best explanation that I have been given. I can respect that. Thank you.

      • marxalot

        Thing is, it’s a false economy (undercutting), and the “efficient” part is also deeply in question. Plus, in an environment with ever-diminishing alternatives and opportunities for earning wages, the burden of “acceptable” exploitation will always be displaced onto labour so long as there are no unified interests able to counterbalance capital (unions); when one must earn to live, and earning opportunities are straitened, there isn’t much “voluntary exchange” to discuss. One takes the work one can find as is, or one starves– voluntarily! Economic coercion increases in an environment where capital goes unchallenged by concerted outside effort (regulations) or countervailing interests (unions again). /socialist

      • L Jean Camp

        You know it is cheaper because of their massive burn rate, correct? It is not cheaper in reality. It is heavily subsidized. It seems to be a massive investor grift.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I was recently in New York. From Madison Square Garden to my midtown hotel cost me $12 in a Lyft. Two days later, I took a cab from the same hotel to MSG, and it was $30.

      • Suttree

        Were you not near a subway? That would have cost you $3.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          It was a whole luggage situation. I compromised and took NJ Transit from the airport to Penn Station, but schlepping the luggage on a subway car (and up and down the steps) during rush hour would have been hellish.

          • Suttree

            i was hoping that you would say that! Because if not, you would have gotten a large helping of scorn. :)

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Their best ally is that in a lot of places (e.g., Minneapolis), taxi dispatching sucks, the taxi companies didn’t care, and often had no competition to make them care.

      If Uber had just reinvented taxi dispatching and not embarked on all this gig economy bullshit, it would have been a cool innovation instead of another TechBro Wankfest

      • Suttree

        OK I can understand that in certain markets. Good point.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I can honestly say that I’ve never used an Uber or Lyft or any other company that promises to send a strange person in a strange car to pick me up at a strange place at 2:30am and drive me back to my home, all with zero oversight, but I still hope they crash ‘n burn for being so proudly terrible.

    • Jamoche

      I was put off by their early ads along the line of “Ladies! Don’t just stand around outside the clubs at closing time, waiting who knows how long for a taxi which will be driven by a stranger, call us and have a car show up right when you need it!” Er, don’t taxis congregate around the clubs at closing time, so there shouldn’t be a wait? Even if there was, that’s just a call for better taxi dispatching. And how is the Uber driver not as much of a stranger as a taxi driver? If you disappear after a taxi ride, there’s a chance someone saw the cab number. Disappear after you get in some random ordinary passenger car? Good luck with that.

      Plus, with a taxi, they know where you’re going even when you don’t – do I know the address of the concert venue? Ha. And sometimes you get a taxi driver who’s also a tour guide – still regret not taking that New Orleans driver up on his offer to kill the 2 hours I had waiting for a bus at 1AM.

      • Predisenting Ron

        Any decent driver will know where the clubs are, when they close and what the busy days are. They’ll be there lined up waiting for fares, and if they’re quick, they’ll make several trips. And they do this because next time someone might remember and ask for them again, or at least use the same company. You CAN’T do that with Uber. The business model’s just not set up that way.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It’s all Uber but the crying.

  • Jenny

    Uber and lyft came back to Austin after the tex ledge got them off so good. I have a real problem with punks throwing their weight around. Maybe we will get lucky and they’ll leave again.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They got into Nevada (thanks, GOP!). Didn’t help that the taxicab companies big lobbying push to hurt them was to support a law requiring a minimum 15-minute wait for ride-share drivers before they could pick up a fare (that idea was roundly mocked and then killed twice in the Lege).

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the big boys like Yellow cab have done themselves no favors- their greed is why there are longterm labor disputes over 1/10% bumps in compensation

  • Suttree

    I also like regular taxi drivers. They are normal people busting their asses. You get to meet a lot of different people from many countries.

    • Jenny

      In Texas they generally aren’t reliable. Which is why uber took off here. Inconsistent taxi and inconsistent public transport. Texas surely has to be a ride share utopia.

      • Suttree

        I love living in the NYC metropolitan area. new Jersey has the highest rated public transportation in the country! I can count on both hands the number of times that I have taken a cab in the past few years.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      That’s me. I support cab drivers who work full-time to live normal lives. It sort of bugs me that people can cut into that working part time without having to contend with the same level of expense/regulation as a cabbie.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    It never ceases to amaze me how tone-deaf some people can be. Also, pro-tip for knowing when something like this has happened in your piece of Corporate America (even if they’re not telling you about it): HR rolls out yet another online training course on a new issue. Translation: Company-wide training was a plank in the settlement we’re not talking about.

    We take a lot of training courses at my company.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Online training courses are easily gamed, though. You get one guy to take the test and then pass it around to everyone else. Nobody actually learns anything from clicking next-next-next through PowerPoint slides about the ADA and affirmative action, and then taking a 20-questions quiz at the end, at which point you get a nice default “certification” template that goes in your file and you don’t have to worry about for the next 5-7 years.

      I had a student job at the campus library where we had to do this. The university administration didn’t even care how you passed the test, as it was just something to check off to prove to the state that they were “doing something” as regards “human resources training.” We even had professors and other faculty come up to the desk to ask the same kid for the answers to the quiz.

      Automation really is dehumanizing. We’ve even outsourced not being a dick as a tedious chore to be clicked through and checked off on some database.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Do not throw large kegs off of tall buildings. Please talk to Ryan McKillen and Amos Barreto for specific insights on this topic…

    *blinks*

    1) Who has to tell (ALLEGEDLY) grown-ass men not to throw KEGS off of tall buildings?

    2) More to the point, why are (ALLEGEDLY) grown-ass men THROWING KEGS off of tall buildings?

    • DainBramage

      Because they’re drunk.

    • arglebargle

      Where do you throw yours?

      • Jenny

        In the river, duh!

      • NastyBossetti

        Just up into the air, to see who can throw it highest.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh please, like I’d be caught dead drinking from a keg.

        *sashays away like a common beer snob*

        • onedollarjuana

          Keg beer is fresher and will taste better.

          And you can recycle the empties off of the nearest roof.

        • marxalot

          Some of the local breweries were hiring pony-kegs where I lived last. Fresh, delicious, and contributing to the local economy is how I like my beer (too bad I don’t drink it anymore).

      • marxalot

        Out the back of the truck when it’s empty, duh.

    • shastakoala

      *Except on New Year’s Eve.

    • Michael Smith

      These guys probably never get their deposits back.

    • Jennifer R

      Rich kids who went to college on dad’s dime.

    • Shanzgood

      The CFO at the company I used to work for had to send an email to all the male employees (AND COMPANY OFFICERS) to stop flushing their used condoms down the office toilets.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Because their underlings already threw all the TVs off?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      IKR? No self respecting male would throw a large keg off of a tall building unless he was damn sure that the keg was empty.

  • Michael Smith

    So you bring Arianna Huffington on board and then you tell her women talk too much to be in positions of power? That sounds good.

    Later I plan to hire Ted Turner to advise me on the television industry and will proceed to publicly inform him that southerners can’t be trusted with business because they only understand Nascar.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      He will laugh heartily at your witticism!

      • Michael Smith

        “This Mike Smith guy is a riot. I’ll keep providing him with my extremely valuable insights despite his clear contempt for my intelligence.”

  • Crystalclear12

    I imagine the whole PR department is on the donor transplant list for a liver.
    “He said what!?”

  • Daniel Hooper

    Ride sharing services aren’t legal around here, yet they do still operate and run ads. I dunno; I think overall it’s a good idea, but these companies have such crap reputations that it’d be impossible for me to use one in good conscience.

    • sw19covfefe

      I agree. These things tend to get pushed to the raggedy edge of capitalist theory. Especially by Silicon Valley sociopaths.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’ve personally decided not to use them. Taxi drivers have to pay a lot to get licensed and are heavily regulated. It’s hard enough for one of them to make a living wage capable of supporting a family without some part-timer trying to cut into the business.

      • Predisenting Ron

        As someone who eked out a living behind the wheel of a cab for a while, THIS. And I was pretty much the best driver the company had. How their more… relaxed drivers managed I have no idea.

    • marxalot

      I think ride “sharing” would be great! Uber et al are not ride sharing. They are independent contractor summoning, market undercutting, labor exploitation machines.
      Finding a steady carpool or one-way trip via your phone would be tops, though.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Who could ever have imagined that this kind of twee, casual, hipster-talk white male Silicon Valley corporate culture could ever run into problems?

  • arglebargle

    An anagram of Uber is uhh, lets see, there’s brue. Wait a minute, ummmm rebu, no, bure.

  • Wild Cat

    “I don’t know what the issue is, I haven’t read or heard anything, but whatever she got, she damn well deserved it right in the kisser!”

  • Vecchioivan

    When these sleaze bags first hit Portland, the then mayor begged them to wait until he had changed the laws to suit them. We don’t want to embarrass anyone, so will just refer to this person as Charlie Hales.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Mistakes were made.
    Passive-voice bullshit was given.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Haha he said accountability. Like his entire fucking business model isn’t predicated on avoiding accountability.

  • Michael Smith

    You know, when things like this happen, I try not get all sexist, but it starts to make me think that women aren’t the gender that is unable to appropriately handle authority.

    • Me not sure

      Men will rattle on as much as women do. They say more meaningless shit, but they do it with masculine authority.
      https://youtu.be/T70-HTlKRXo

  • NastyBossetti

    The comment came across in a way that was the opposite of what I intended
    So what am I supposed to believe he intended? That he was attempting to use irony to point out the fact that men talk more than women, talk over women, interrupt women in meetings, and how super annoying that is?

    • Crystalclear12

      Don’t forget “take credit for the work of women”
      My favorite.

    • sw19covfefe

      That more talk/discussion is good, presumably.

    • Jon Sussex

      That he intended not to get caught saying it.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “Can’t you take a joke” *rolls eyes*

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I intended it to make me look smart and funny, and instead I looked like a stupid and bigoted asshole.”

  • Joe Beese

    Ironically, Huffington’s media empire was itself built on a contractor-exploiting model.

    I guess that’s why she likes the place.

    • MizzMazz

      Yeah, why pay writers? Exposure! ::spits::

      • Three Finger Salute

        She figures she doesn’t need to. The only writers who matter are her celebrity friends who used to write the occasional blurb about Bush. Now they have Twitter, so Arianna doesn’t care at all anymore. Not to mention she outsourced Huffpo’s non-comments to Facebook in the interest of “promoting civility” — which is a really stupid excuse, as it means opening it up to the billion-or-so bots and trolls who also post at nutjob sites like Fox and Daily Caller are also going to make drive-by hate statements and then disappear into the void. All she really wanted was the sweet data from Facebook. Fuck that crypto-Republican and the Trojan horse she rode in on.

  • Yr. Gma

    I will take a taxi if one is available, but I have been known to use Uber when the taxis are few and far between.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      While the model has something going for it, Uber just ignored rules and regs and abused women and their drivers. That’s what make America and the $70 billion evaluation all Great again.

  • baconzgood

    Shouldn’t you be making me a sandwich right now instead of writing for this blog?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I make all the sammiches around here. Wholewheat or rye? Ham, roast beef, chicken, or divorce papers?

  • BeachBum

    Ya really gotta wonder bout a company that after a fair time doing business, has to state in writing to its employees basically Don’t rape anyone in the Company.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Also fuck citing studies to respond to dickbags spouting deliberately offensive bs.

  • Shanzgood

    That hugging thing was grossly inappropriate. I’m an avid non-hugger who doesn’t like to be hugged by anyone who isn’t a close friend, family member, or someone I’m doing sexxytimes with (and sometimes not even then).

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Ooooo touch – eee. (I am too, it has taken a long time to adjust to gratuitous public hugging….)

      • Shanzgood

        I offer a pre-emotive handshake when I can.

        The European kiss-kiss thing really freaked me out when I was there. I accidentally kissed more than one person right by/on the mouth.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          the south americans do it in miami a lot…that took some getting used to.

          • Shanzgood

            They have a different sense of personal space as well. Mine is strictly arms length for pretty much everyone. My son FINALLY learned not to literally back me into a corner during a conversation.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i noticed that in chicago…we have plenty of wide open space here, chicago is cramped, which is the only reason i can think why people will literally talk in your face.

          • Cliff Hendroval

            Years ago I had a co-worker from one of the Caribbean islands – Barbados, I think, but it’s been a long time – who used to irritate the shit out of me whenever I had to interact with him, and I couldn’t figure out why because he was never rude or bossy or condescending. It finally dawned on me that he would stand about six inches closer than was comfortable for me. Once I figured that out, I could deal with him much more easily.

          • Red Bird Ω

            I’m from the Caribbean. I’ve never noticed that. Did he also look you directly in the eyes when talking to you?

          • Cliff Hendroval

            Perhaps…I really don’t remember as it was almost 20 years ago. I do remember him being inside of what my white American circle of space though.

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          eeewwweeee germs………

          • Shanzgood

            Nah, I’m not a germophobe.

            And now that I recall, it was only cute women. Oops!

        • sw19covfefe

          The French also have different numbers to ‘faire la bise’, depending on region. Which can get confusing.
          I think the maximum is four.
          Which is clearly excessive!

    • sw19covfefe

      I get hugged at my local soccerball matches a lot: even when I’m on duty, stewarding. I’m not supposed to respond, but I don’t initiate contact, and now more than a few people have gotten used to greeting me. Mind you, I’m on front-of-house before the game, directing fans/dealing with questions etc, plus I always wear a nice big hi-vis jacket, so it’s not too out-of-place/uncomfortable. I think of it as cosplaying!

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You too? I cannot stand huggers. That’s a violation of my personal space and I take hugging as a physical threat sometimes.

      I am not kidding in the least.

      • Shanzgood

        Yes. It frequently feels invasive, like a very personal question. And sometimes it can feel threatening.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I prefer to show my affections with, y’know, words. I’m not a physical person. I’ll just tell ya.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m not good at that, either. But I’m getting better now that I have a reason to!

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Takes time, truly. Be patient with yourself. You’re more than smart enough to figure all this crap out.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t think it’s a matter of intelligence so much as practicing at exercising unused muscles. I’ve preferred emotional detachment most of my life and now I not only don’t really have a choice but I don’t WANT to be!

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I think you kind of have to “want” it to make it work. What do I know, really? If I had anything figured out, I wouldn’t be on the internet.

          • Shanzgood

            You’re right about the wanting to make it work part, that’s for sure.

          • marxalot

            I offer fist bumps.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Rock-on!

    • marxalot

      Aaaaaahhh stranger touching! No no no.
      Weirdly, cultural stranger-touching norms (like the two-kiss thing in Europe) weird me out way less than unsoliticed, apparently random stranger-touching here in the Anglo world. Possibly because it’s just foreign, as opposed to utterly alien.

      • Three Finger Salute

        If two men did that Europe friendly-kiss thing in the U.S.A., some Trump-bro would beat them to a pulp.

    • HarpyLibtart

      That sounds horrifying, I would never hug a coworker, unless someone died or something – even then, please don’t start crying, because I will just throw tissues at you and run away. (I’ll feel bad about it from a distance, though).

    • Erala Contratista

      Yes!
      I couldn’t/wouldn’t hug until I married ElC. My in-laws were mildly huggy, so I learned how. Still only hug friends who are huggy.
      Wierd, but it is still a kind of alien thing for me, but not as worrying.

  • reelreeler

    uber will be a thing of the past when autonomous taxis become reality in about 5 or 6 years.

    • arglebargle

      It even says “auto” right there in autonomous.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Uber is already testing it’s own. Uber just won’t need drivers anymore.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        a headline yesterday said apple is jumping in on the race…not surprising given their history with mp3 players and cell phones.

    • MizzMazz
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Holy shit! They’re automating sexism?

  • Jamoche

    I’ve got a friend whose team was talent-acquired by Uber (joke’s on them, they lost most of the team within 6 months). He got out just before the bad news started to break, but while he was there they had a tech recruiting thing and he asked me to come – not because he thought I’d be interested in the job, just for the amusement value of infiltrating the place. They’d been especially pushing anyone who knew any female engineers to invite them (of which I am one) so the place wouldn’t look like such a sausage-fest. Even with that push there weren’t many of us. (Yes, Uber, you’ve now narrowed him down to maybe a dozen of your ex-employees.)

    But the major amusing takeaway was their oft-repeated engineering motto. “We want it as reliable as running water.” Oooh, there’s some first-world obliviousness there. Flint? East Palo Alto, which is just the next town over? (OK, that one hasn’t gotten much publicity yet. It’s not that the water is dirty, just the water company.)

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!

    People Suck™

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Indeed ®

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • arglebargle

      Beauregard Sessions, I presume?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    “Actually” He said, expecting fully to get pelted with dog poo, “I’m the talky one, not Sandra. I ramble and shit with her. Granted, I barely say anything around anyone else, but I talk that poor woman’s ear off.”

    We have got to do better, dude’s. It’s really up to us to call other men out on this shit. We stop putting up with it, they’ll stop doing it. Change does come from within in this case.

    • thixotropic jerk

      What this country needs is a good 10 cent male contraceptive pill.

  • marxalot

    Gross heavily insulated pampered rich tech brugh is gross. Yup.

  • geoffalnutt

    Mandatory penises for everyone! Get yours today…at the All-Nite
    Penis Hut. Be an Murican! Sponsored by Jeff Beauregard Sessions and John (ironsides) McCain.

    • marxalot

      Ugh, they warned us this would happen!
      (Don’t let the HRT fool you, I like mine modular.)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    You people are so impatient. We always had “Treat women like human beings” on our to-do list, right after “Stop losing buckets of money” and “Justify our bloated market capitalization”
    — An Uber spokesperson

  • Predisenting Ron

    Yup, my calendar says it’s 2017. I wouldn’t have guessed from these people’s comments and ‘jokes.’

    • Hardly Ideal

      Every time I heard something wildly sexist and/or racist during the Obama presidency, I always found myself thinking “I thought it was 201X! How can someone say and/or think that?”

      But then I got the sinking feeling that this is what it means to be in the 2010s.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in: Another step in the Gig Economy as David Bonderman announces Guber. A mobile app that allows you to book an idiot to come and say something stupid and bigoted at your next corporate board meeting.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      …golf clap…

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      This is really going to interfere with MY app, Tuber, which brings freshly cooked french fries to your house.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        I’m in.

  • Jamoche

    OT when I posted it last night, on-topic now:

    http://www.lastwordonnothing.com/2017/06/12/what-i-learned-about-interruption-from-talk-radio/

    How to use talk radio techniques to combat over-talkers and mansplainers

    there are no pauses in talk radio, no long moments of thinking, no silences while you try to formulate a thoughtful response. Think of this conversation like a rock climbing wall. Each breath and micro-pause is a foothold. Your interlocutor will grab every single one and climb to the top, and you will be left at the bottom staring up at his backside. And it is not a nice view, let me assure you.

    Let me be clear: No pauses means literally no pauses. Start your sentence just before your partner has ended theirs. Do not wait for them to actually end their sentence. Do not let them pause and think “am I truly done?” Because the answer is always no.

    • Red Bird Ω

      The opposite works too. If you stay quiet long enough they will lose interest. Over talkers are more interested in winning an argument. But if no one is responding, they don’t know what to do. I do it a lot. I sit and wait for them to finish talking. The minute I start talking, they suddenly think of something to say. So, I learned that the best technique is to stay quiet until they talk themselves out. Then stare at me waiting for a response. I say nothing then change the subject.

      • Jamoche

        That wouldn’t have worked with the kind who just like to hear their own voices, like Coworker Coffeecup (I could’ve done more than what he did on any given day on top of my own job just by drinking an extra coffee). It wasn’t even that he mansplained or didn’t know what he was talking about, he just never shut up or did any of the stuff he claimed he’d do.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Oh no! I’ve worked with many Coworker Coffeecups. It’s the reason I wear headphones at work.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        i tried that with an exboyfriend years ago and yes, it works.

    • Thank you for this!

    • Three Finger Salute

      I couldn’t do this. I’d sound manic and then people would start asking me if I was on drugs or having a breakdown. I think I’ll just let the boys talk and be a quiet mouse posting non-comments in the back.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I have never understood how any intelligent person could believe that Uber will ever be profitable with their business model. After all, they are essentially a cab company. They provide the same service as any cab company, and they have the same fixed costs as any cab company – amortization of vehicle purchase, maintenance, fuel, wages for the driver, etc. Taxi companies are not high margin, high revenue businesses. So how on earth can Uber have a $69 bn U.S. market capitalization while losing billions every year? Where is the revenue to staunch those losses supposed to come from? This makes no goddamn sense whatsoever. They lost $2.5 bn dollars last year by some estimates. At $100 per trip, and assuming they keep an average of 25% of the fare, Uber would have had to book an extra 100,000,000 trips that year just to break even! The notion that Uber will ever be successful is a logical absurdity. How can people be so goddamn stupid?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I might sound paranoid saying this, but I don’t think the cars have ever been the point of Uber. They’re a data-mining company, pure and simple.
      The more details that have come out about all the sketchy shit they do through the app (for instance, keep tracking a rider’s location after they’ve been dropped off), the more I think I’m right about this. Nothing about Uber passes the smell test, and that’s not even getting into the corporate “culture”/boardroom bullshit that this article addresses.

      • Red Bird Ω

        You might be right about that. The Economist had an article about how data is the new valuable resource that will replace stuff like oil.

        • SnarkON

          That’s funny. I poured a bunch of data into my car and the thing just sat in the driveway.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Hey, don’t be mean snarky. What The Economist meant was that the VALUE of data will soon exceed the value of oil. I think that is probable with the increased use of alternative energy sources and more efficient use of energy. The more valuable commodity will be the information we generate and how we use it.

          • SnarkON

            Didn’t mean to be mean! I was just being a smartass.

          • Ill-Advised

            You left the cap off, and your data evaporated! :-)

      • C4TWOMAN

        Interesting take. Food for thought.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Their valuation does not have to be justified. They just need a bunch of investors to agree on a value and then give them money in exchange for equity. I’m pretty sure that other factors are at play in the valuation that have little to do with performance and more to do with building up the industry.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Which was the same sort of bullshit all the failed dot.com companies were peddling in the late nineties. I’m sorry, but just because a bunch of investors think something is worth a lot of money doesn’t mean it is.

        • Red Bird Ω

          True. But this is different in that the same group of people are propping each other up with the outlandish valuations.

          • SnarkON

            …and they’re not creating jobs. At least none of value.

        • C4TWOMAN

          I think you have peeked into the future….

        • Villago Delenda Est

          One word:

          Tulips.

        • SnarkON

          This is true of every startup.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      I think the idea is that they’re the first movers in the taxi-not-a-taxi field, so if they drive the actual cab companies out of business they’ll have the field to themselves.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Kalanick’s ultimate goal is to move entirely to self-driving cars. He regards the driver as “the other guy in the car”. He wants to collect all the user fees from passengers and from (selling their data) and not have any go to obsolete meatspace components like the people who actually work for him.

        Automation is going to kill off a lot of us whom Silicon Valley douchebros like him and Zuck consider to be the floppy disks and Betamax tapes of their Randroid utopia.

        Silicon Valley sucks; it’s “defective by design”. Marissa Mayer is just as much of an ice queen as they are soulless robots, so there’s a part of me that says it’s not going to matter much what “diverse composition” is at the top of the field. It’s an inherently disruptive and destructive business model. Always has been.

        • pstockholm

          Key question is who owns the droids and tech. If that were solved in an equitable way (it won’t be), the technological developments are not inherently a huge problem.

    • SnarkON

      I don’t disagree with your overall premise, but isn’t the particular evil genius of Uber that they pass all of the operating costs, like car ownership and fuel and maintenance, to the poor saps who do the driving?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        In Winnipeg, where I live, all cab drivers are owner-operators who work for two major companies that do the dispatching. It’s irrelevant anyway. The costs have to be paid, and they are passed on to the consumer. What’s left after all expenses are paid is your profit, and I simply don’t see where the additional profit comes from using Uber’s business model. It just seems to show that there are a lot of gullible people who think turning something into an “app” suddenly makes it incredibly profitable for some reason.

        • pstockholm

          Faster service and better coverage would I suppose give them a competitive edge. Beyond the fact that their drivers are making less than regular taxi drivers. But I agree with your basic point. And they’re vulnerable to anyone else setting up a similar system.

      • Ill-Advised

        And a whole lot of risk to the passengers. Who has liability insurance responsibility? Come to think of it, how many insurers know that their insured are also working as Uber drivers? How much would that change their risk profile?

    • Erala Contratista

      Back to the dot-com future?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I’m pretty sure that a lot of men consider their dicks to be microphones.

    • Shanzgood

      Or a permanent talking stick.

      • SnarkON

        SNAP.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah! And I get the feeling there are a lot of MGTOW and Incel’s who talk to their dicks like Golem talks to the ring. “My preciousssss….You are too perfect for those nasty womenzez…”

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      It’s NOT? Shit, I’ve got to apologize to a lot of women who thought they were auditioning for American Idol….

  • Invidosa

    Sooooooooo, I’d love to hear how that comment was “supposed” to be intended

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      My thoughts exactly. Tell us what you really meant to say, David. We’d all love to hear it.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Oh, he meant that female board members would talk a lot about their brilliant insights into company policies and operations and lay out clear, soundly conceived strategic initiatives that would put all the men to shame.

        Right?

    • Skaarphy

      It is possible that he meant it ironically. Spoofing how sexists talk, or something like that.

      • Invidosa

        It’s also possible that I bought that bottle of wine to store it away for years. . . But anyone who’s ever met me knows that would be utter bullshit. . . Much like this jack asses sexist bullshit

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OK, Bonderman’s a dick, but that memo is funny.

  • Mavenmaven

    that comment disproves itself. All he needed to do, after all, was just shut up and he’d still have his job.

  • jesterpunk

    A judge in Ohio is now ordering people convicted of a DUI to install and set up the Uber or Lyft app. I am sure the judge hasnt received a huge pile of speech from either company right?

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/06/a-judge-is-ordering-drunken-drivers-to-install-uber-lyft/

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    That’s ok, Kalanick can get a job as a congressional aide alerting Senators when Kamala Harris starts to talk.

  • Hardly Ideal

    So, women are inherently more talkative than men?

    I fucking dare you to breathe a single word about Homeworld in my presence. If you aren’t left wishing for the sweet release of death by the time I finish talking about it, I’ll give you twenty bucks.

    • ThanksSatan

      I’m a comic book fan so I might be able to handle it.

      I read the wiki. I can fucking do it. Can you talk about Fallout too?

      • Hardly Ideal

        Probably, but not nearly as much as I could’ve about six years ago. World of Warcraft kind of moved in like it owned the place and stomped on every other game in my life.

    • Three Finger Salute

      So, women are inherently more talkative than men?

      Not necessarily. I’d probably be the quietest one in the room. If anything, probably too quiet for the go-getter extroverted culture that expects employees to “pipe up with ideas” (so they can then get shot down by management, and you feel utterly humiliated in front of the whole staff and the boss). I don’t know where he’s coming from with these stereotypes. I barely spoke at all in college. Really the only times I did were in classes that took attendance and the prof couldn’t see a raised hand at the back of the room.

    • ExecutorElassus

      omg you said my *favorite thing*. HW was my first true love.

      Come hang out with me on EVE Online. There are a lot of us there.

  • A potential replacement for Kalanick *and* Bonderman; he has experience in the industry, and has…better, if not wholly ideal, attitudes about women: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ced8449102d15edf184137b5714988041ced9e99dfb13b13f90a946de5a9fe35.jpg

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Is Louie DePalma available?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      On the other hand, I’d get into HIS Uber ANY TIME

  • Lori

    I have worked at a couple companies with seriously terrible HR staff, including one head of HR who was hands down the most hated person in the entire the company, and I have never seen anyone tell an all staff to do some weird hugging version of the passing of the peace. That is really f’ed up.

    Also, anyone who is surprised that a company founded on breaking the law and screwing people over is run by assholes is deeply stupid and should feel bad.

    • SnarkON

      Right? Like, the entire business concept is exploitative toward working people. Why would management be any different?

      • Mike Toreno

        As I understand it, the business CONCEPT is exploitative of working people, but the way the money actually flows is that it transfers money from venture capitalists to drivers.

        • Lori

          Not enough of it, given all the stories about drivers living in their cars. Even that will only last until such time as they’ve driven enough traditional cab companies out of business. Then the drivers will really get screwed. Turking is virtually never a good deal for the worker over the long term.

        • SnarkON

          Quite the opposite The drivers get paid shit, and the Uber execs and shareholders make a fortune.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Precisely, Miss Moneypenny.

          • Same as any fast food franchise. Micky D on wheels.

          • Mike Toreno

            Atrios says that the Uber business model is unsustainable because the barriers to entry in a system charging a market price are very low. He says the way Uber operates now the cost per ride is more than the price charged, and Uber pays drivers more than the cost to provide the ride. He says that whatever problems there are with taxi services in a particular area, limiting the number of taxis is critical to being able to charge enough to provide the service. Uber won’t ever be able to do this and make it work. What they’re counting on now is getting self-driving cars to work, but that is never going to work. The car won’t ever be able to make all the required decisions, especially in a taxi operation, and there’s no way a human safety operator can shift attention in time to take over if the only time the shift is required is to correct an error or deal with an emergency.

            I don’t use Uber and don’t know a lot of details about it, and I do know that they do operate in an exploitative way, and do accounting tricks to pay drivers less than the agreed rate. But the basic analysis that they can’t sustain the enterprise without a constant inflow of capital from venture capitalists, which they then burn up in one way or another, seems to me to make sense.

          • SnarkON

            Honestly, I think that business model is the same for all startups. Even Amazon, supposedly worth bazillions, didn’t make a profit for, like, a decade–and I’m not sure it does even now. Same with Facebook, etc.

          • Mike Toreno

            I think Uber is different because $ Sales < $ Cost of goods sold, and my understanding (basically, just from what Atrios says) is that this is true PER SALE. If that's true, the business model, no matter what volume the achieve and no matter how well they manage their administrative expenses, is:

            Step 1: Lose money on each sale
            Step 2: ??????????????
            Step 3: PROFIT!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    There will not be more talking, because every time a woman talks in a meeting, a man interrupts her.

    • javadavis

      So maybe more talking, but by interrupting cows men.

    • Mike Toreno

      Including more women will lead to more talking by women (I hope) because I think having more women makes women feel more free to speak and helps form a bulwark against dismissing their comments and trying to bully them into silence. I think that’s an argument in favor of including more women.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s a good argument. In my personal experience of men and women at meetings, which goes back 45 years, women are more interested in brainstorming, teamwork, shooting ideas around to generate more and better ideas, with less interest in grandstanding and personal acclaim. Women certainly don’t object to personal acclaim, but it is not usually their top priority (perhaps because they rarely get it). Women use language to build bridges with each other. Men use language to one-up each other. This is not universal by any means, but it is generally true in every environment I’ve worked in – government, academia, the arts and I.T. This carries over to personal life, and is allegedly why men don’t like to stop and ask for directions – it would mean putting themselves in a one-down position to a stranger. I find that women make better team players than men, but I suppose it depends on whether you think winning is more important than how you play the game.

        • Mike Toreno

          I didn’t finish my thought. I meant the original comment by the Uber guy that “more women leads to more talking” is an argument in favor of including more women, even though he didn’t realize that or intend it that way.

          For the substantive part of my comment, I wasn’t aware of most of the rest of the points you raise, but a lot of them are obvious-once-you-pointed-them-out, and I’m happy to have provided a launch point for your remarks.

        • Erala Contratista

          After 40 yrs. working as a contractor, the few women I met who were in the same situation mostly came up with dogs and poles working theory.
          Girls exchange information, guys take one sniff and sign the pole and move on to another pole.
          A conversation, if there was one basically peeing higher and higher on the pole.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s a very good theory, especially since at least 50% of men have very poor aim and would miss the pole.

  • SnarkON

    I have never used Uber and really don’t want to. The idea of getting into a car with a completely random, un-vetted stranger seems fucking insane.

  • Somecallmetim

    At a meeting about sexual harrassment no less. In an Office type HR tragedy at an anonymous co I used to work for, someone had this terrific idea to have cultural awareness day. They set up a party room and had spent all night with they crayons drawing “culturally significant” pictures on butcher paper to hang around the walls. The whole thing screamed “fuck me but it is demeaning to be in this room!” And the fucked up part that caused me to leave for the day, the butcher paper titled: “Native American” had a picture of a teepee. Cheeses fuck mary, I know quit a few native American people and not one of them lives in a goddamned teepee. Nor did their ancestors in most cases. It falls under the category of uneccessary bullshit we all should have learned right after kindergarten. Uber best get with the program, boay. It’s a very simple startup concept and already a company that’s geared towards women (women that prefer not to get sexually harrassed all the time) has made inroads along with hoards of other uberesquers.

    • HooverVilles

      OT, sort of. A question regarding the previously mentioned HR department.
      I remember when personnel departments were renamed/re-branded as Human Resources (HR). I am now seeing some reports that a similar renaming/re-branding is taking place to change from Human Resources to Human Capital. Has anyone else seen or heard of such a thing? I sure hope not.

      • pstockholm

        Better than “Meat Assets” anyway.

      • Ill-Advised

        Today we are all Economic Units.

        I regret to inform you that it is a Thing. After solving problems got renamed Intellectual Property, people got renamed to something that looked like it belonged on a balance sheet. Went right along with the requirement to have a “personal brand.”

        As corporations have become people, people have become corporations. Money is speech…

        Ugh. I need kittens.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I hate it when asshole CEOs use weasel sentences like “mistakes were made.” There’s no fucking object in that sentence, amirite?

    • HooverVilles

      I knew a colleague who frequently used the phrase “not my fault, I didn’t do it”. He always professed to be joking but being the of the extreme Trumper variety, I had my doubts many times.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Hate your colleague, love your kitten. Thank goodness for kittens and puppies, or these Trump people would drive me insane.

        • HooverVilles

          Kittens, puppies, cats & dogs make these days easier. They are a lot smarter than most people give them credit.
          >^o.o^<

    • Vel Venturi

      It’s truly an art. I guess ‘talking too much’ also includes phrases like “I’m sorry” and “I said something that was inappropriate and unprofessional.”

      The ‘apology’ issued to Roxane Gay yesterday, by the heinous assholes at that Mamamia blog or whatever it is, was a real masterpiece too. “We don’t know how this happened.” It happened because one of your people wrote a bunch of rude shit about your guest. But I guess aliens or something caused it. Who knows?

      • Sekhmet1

        Yep, Mamamia – its founder (and the interviewer inflicted on poor Roxane Gay) is Mia Freedman, The Absolute Worst. She’s one of those fauxminists who really believes her privilege denying, victim blaming, concern-trolling shtick is “empowering for women”. Also, she and Mamamia’s management do their best to get out of not paying their writers, so I now avoid them. To be fair, they used to have some good articles every now and then but it’s now content-aggregation with a side of White Fauxminism plus forced videos. At least Freedman gave a slightly better apology today; now I’m hoping all the thinkpieces and Tweet-curations (“People on the internet are pissed at Mia Freedman’s Controversial! Comments!”) will focus less on La Freedman and repeating her awful insulting fuckwittage, and more on Roxane Gay’s work.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      My absolute worst is, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Kaaaayyy…why don’t you just come out and say “fuck you.”

      • Ill-Advised

        I’ll take “Here’s something I can call an apology later, and I’m sorry that I’ll have to take some defensive measures now that I’ve successfully annoyed you and you caught me doing it” for $200, Alex.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    In other Obvious News”: “1980’s Frat House Business Culture Not Good” How did this go on for so long?

    • Lori

      $$$$$

  • squidkid

    “Those dang wimmenz, amirite? Always blabbing about shoes and makeup. If we hire more of them, we’d never get anything done! Chatterboxes! Anyway, I better waste everyone’s time at this meeting and make a joke nobody wants to hear…”

  • The comment came across in a way that was the opposite of what I intended but I understand the destructive effect it had

    dear lord, the fucknozzle mansplained his mainsplaining

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Actually, can’t be mansplaining, because speaker did not begin sentence with “actually.”

  • Vel Venturi

    Another day, another asshole with a nonpology.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Huh. Weird how bros create a bro culture that isn’t so fabulous for anyone who isn’t a bro.

  • marshlc

    I have, in the past, said things in meetings that didn’t come out the way I meant them, or were not taken the way I meant them. But y’know what? When someone went “Oh, come one!” to those comments, I then explained what I meant, and apologized if necessary. Right then, in the same conversation.

    Days later, in response to outrage, is not the time to haul out “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded”. You’ve got to say it right away, or not at all.

  • L Jean Camp

    The Uber business model is basically grifting your investors. They do not make money. They have no coherent business plan. They are being sued. http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/06/uber-quasi-ponzi-scheme
    and also
    https://www.wired.com/2017/02/googles-robocar-lawsuit-kill-ubers-future-send-execs-prison/
    and also
    http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/03/googles-lawsuit-against-uber-could-destroy-uber.html

    • Lily412

      Uber lost my business before they even got it, because almost right from the outset there were complaints against drivers of sexual harassment and assault, to which Uber was basically like, “they’re contracted employees, nothing we can do, LOL.”

  • Where did the whole “women talk too much” thing get started, anyway? I’ve always wondered, because men are the ones who never fucking shut up. It starts young, too. It’s always the boys that are shouting out answers instead of raising their hands in the classroom and yelling at the top of their lungs on the playground. And no one tells them to stop, so they just keep doing it forever, till they’re doddering old John McCain interrupting Kamala Harris for no good reason.

    • Suttree

      Because men are assholes and like to feel superior. We tend to be not even right.

      • My Republican coworkers, Exhibit A. Experts on everything, knowledgeable about almost nothing but the most arcane trivia.

    • yelling at the top of their lungs on the playground

      Did you grow up in a nunnery? All kids do this, including girls in a group. It’s never a lone girl doing it. 😁

  • phoenix00

    I’ll continue to drive myself places, tyvm.

  • Suttree

    I like nectarines. i am on my third one this morning

    • Bald peaches?

      • Suttree

        Without looking it up, I believe that nectarines are a man made hybrid.

  • Why is it sexist when men interrupt Kamala Harris, but not Betsy DeVos?

    Because you never interrupt crazy people when you’re crazy yourself?
    https://media4.giphy.com/media/tOhAD8TJqXnYQ/200w.gif

  • mardam422

    In my experience, if there are more men than women in a group the men DO tend to be All Hands. So there’s that to fall back on, Mr. Bonderman.

  • Weird Fishes

    I don’t know how those with even a shred of consciousness can use Uber.

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