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LOL! AND THEN HE SAID!

Time for story time with Aunt Nancy! It is a well-accepted worldwide science fact that Donald Trump is a pussy. Angela Merkel knows it. Justin Trudeau knows it. Emmanuel Macron knows it. All patriotic U.S. Americans know it. And Nancy Pelosi told a story about what a pussy he is on Friday morning’s “Morning Joe.” It is GREAT.

We’ll go ahead and pass her the mic:

PELOSI: The first meeting we had, House and Senate, Democrats and Republican leadership in the White House, this is a big deal — I mean it really fills you with some pride to have a seat at the table. […] I have been at that meeting with President George W. Bush as a leader … and speaker, same thing with Obama — and now here we are with a new president. First thing he says, to open the meeting: “You know I won the popular vote.”

LOVEBIRDS JOE AND MIKA, AND ALSO WILLIE GEIST, IN UNISON: Giggle!

Pelosi laughed with the hosts about how they all wish literally any human Republican was president instead of Donald Trump, but then Willie Geist asked how she reacted to Trump at the time. Apparently, she was like “O RLY MISTER PRESIDENT?”

When he said that, I said, “Well, Mr. President, that’s not true.” There are no facts, there is no evidence to support what you just said. And if we were going to work together, we have to stipulate to a certain set of facts. When we worked with President Bush or when we work across the aisle, we all have to start at a place where we are dealing with facts, evidence and data, and then you can compromise but you can’t make up … he said, “Well, three to five million people voted illegally! You know this. It came out later!” And I said, “Well that’s not true.” And he said, “and I am not even counting California!”

LOLOLOL wait, “three to five million people voted illegally” in NOT CALIFORNIA? Where did they do all that illegal voting? Were a few of them in Ohio, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania and were they actually Russian citizens voting for Trump from computers in Moscow? HAHA WE KID THE PRESIDENT. (No we don’t.)

We all know how, both just after the election and also right this very second, Trump has been feeling kind of, ahem, flaccid about his very small Electoral College victory, and even more than that, his PATHETIC loss in the popular vote. He runs around yammering about how his Electoral College totals were HISTORIC AND YOOOOGE, as long as you don’t count all the other recent presidents. He’s also said many times that he WOULD have won the popular vote if Hillary Clinton didn’t let millions of illegal Cali-Mexicans vote for her in California, the very un-American largest state in the union. Somebody should investigate that! Also too, if there was no Electoral College, he would have won the popular vote EVEN YOOGER, because he would have campaigned in all those places and everybody would have fallen in love with his sexual body and truthful statements.

Oh and then there are the maps he loves to give out, of all of the red counties that voted for him, compared to the little tiny blue counties Hillary won. Now, logical people might say, “Yeah, but most of those red counties represent three cows and two pairs of married cousins, whereas Hillary’s counties are where people live,” but SHUT UP! FLAWLESS VICTORY IS HIS AND YOU ARE A LOSER.

Oh, and his enormous (tiny!) inauguration crowd! He loves talking about that.

But this is an amazing new delusion from the syphilitic squirrels who hunt for hickory nuts inside Donald Trump’s brain. Not only did three million illegal Mexi-fornians vote, THREE TO FIVE MILLION other people voted illegally in other states, and they all voted for Hillary Clinton, and if they hadn’t voted so improperly, Trump would’ve won the popular vote by MILLIONS, instead of losing to a common GIRL.

Never change, Donald Trump, by which we mean change everything, because literally every part of you is completely unacceptable and embarrassing.

Here’s the full interview, if you’d like to watch it. It’s pretty great! They talk about the Comey hearing, and at one point she accidentally says she hopes any mental fitness/health problems Trump has are “not repairable,” but don’t worry, it was just a SILLY GOOF. She meant “irreparable.” She also reassures us that America “can withstand anything” and “God is always with us,” therefore we will be FINE. Your mouth to God’s ears, Leader Pelosi.

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  • MynameisBlarney

    2018 is gonna be a rout.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Damn, I hope so. It’s going to depend on how many R congress critters can effectively distance themselves from their embarrassing crazy uncle in the attic. The rubes out in the provinces need to know that their R’s are basically supporting that nutball everywhere it counts.

      • Ill-Advised

        Yeah. I hear that. One other thing I hear is that “the rubes” aren’t interested in economic well-being. Their values are different. As in, “I’m superior to somebody, and I like the caste system.” Judging by voting patterns, that would suggest an immovable (because uneducable) voting bloc.

    • proudgrampa

      One can only hope…

    • Historicat

      We’ll see. Depends on how much voter suppression and purity politics come into play. Too many people don’t seem to understand that you need to show up for every election, not just the big one every four years.

    • SammyDEEEE

      I want you to be right. I do.

      As of right now, I don’t see the plan developing to make that a reality.

      • Claire

        2018’s all state-based, I think. It’s going to depend on whether the local parties have plans or not.

        • jesterpunk

          It is also going to depend if voters get out and vote, historically younger dem voters only vote in the big sexy presidential election and ignore every other one. GOP voters will historically vote in every election including dog catcher.

        • SammyDEEEE

          True and false.

          While the state plans have to be locked, the DCCC and DSCC both hold a lot of sway when it comes to those races… and there’s a very good chance those folks don’t have any fucking idea what they’re doing.

          • Claire

            If they do know what they’re doing, they’re certainly hiding it well.

      • Lord Jim

        If nothing else, there’s the historical trend of the President’s party losing seats in the midterms. The stoopid American electorate’s way of hedging it’s bets. Or having an excuse to bitch about “politicians” when gridlock ensues.

      • Rags

        Plan to work for it.

        • SammyDEEEE

          I mean, of course. I’ve only been doing this for 15 years.

          But what I’m saying is, if our plan is “Hey! Over here! We are DEFINITELY not Trump!” we’re going to have to do better, and right now, that seems like our plan.

  • Oblios_Cap

    President Pelosi has a nice ring to it, don’tcha think?

  • Predisenting Ron

    Saw her on CN&N this morning. Calm, articulate, forthcoming as usual. Funny how those opposing her are all loud, frantic liars.

  • I listened to the whole thing, and I highly recommend it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • MynameisBlarney

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/dan-scavino-violates-hatch-act

    They just can’t seem to be able to not break the damn law every 5 fucking minutes.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’re no really laws; they’re more like guidelines.

      • mardam422

        Suggestions, really. More like suggestions than guidelines or laws. Maybe not suggestions at all. More like ideas than suggestions. Kind of like a notion, maybe. .

        • Sophia

          Hopes

      • BearGHAZI

        Hopes. They have myriad ‘hopes.’

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    I say again, Donald Trump is the Ur-GOPer, the unleashed Id of a constituency gone mad and awash in stupidity, hate, and Short-Peen Syndrome.

    • msanthropesmr

      Please Anna. I don wanna think about wrinkly nasty Republican peen.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        You think they stretch them full-length before washing? Or just leave the gunk in the wrinkles?

        • msanthropesmr

          Ew. Just. Ew.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Are we playing gross-out now?

          • MizzMazz

            Yeah! And it’s not just regular smeg, it’s orange smeg!

        • Historicat

          No – Mommy said not to touch yourself down there!

  • msanthropesmr
    • mardam422

      And moxie. Don’t forget the moxie.

    • Chyron HR

      Audrey Hepburn faked her death and ran for congress in San Francisco–tell your friends!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Those gloves! *swoons*

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Fashionable, too. :)

    • CindyinEncinitas

      She looks like Hillary!

    • Spurning Beer

      “Mr. President, my eyes are up here.”

  • memzilla Ω
    • WotsAllThisThen

      He sometimes makes things up, says stuff that isn’t true, invents stories out of whole cloth, but a liar? No.

    • Ωbjectifier

      When you have to convince people you’re not a liar…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      She WISHES she could spin like Ziegler

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Ziegler had it easy. He was the first, and back then most Americans wanted to to really believe their Preznit wasn’t a liar.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          though he didn’t have the advantage of a 24/7 cable propaganda arm amplifying every lie he made

    • therblig

      but what about the Predisent?

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Sarah Fuckabee, I gotta say, the Pearls? Good choice Hun. Not.

    • Edith Prickly

      If you have to say it out loud…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Judging from that sad hair, I can definitively say that Sarah Huckabee Sanders has zero gay friends.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Because he lied to her and told her he wasn’t.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She can definitively say anything Trump wants. That’s how she got the job.

    • William
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’m not trying to be lookist but cheese on a cracker why can’t that woman look like a professional. Get a flattering haircut, get a preofessional makeup artist, and quit dressing like you have a dinner date at the Cracker Barrel. Wear a jacket. It’s disrespectful.

      • Michael R
      • wide_stance_hubby

        Hey, she could land a job as Assistant Associate at Big Lots with that couture!

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        They’re playing ONLY to the base, and the base is really really base.

      • desida

        I have never had a Srs Adult Person Ttly Professional-style jerb in part because I spend all my time dressed like Death from Sandman if she were an extra in a Mad Max film and feel deeply uncomfortable and self-conscious when I try to dress “normal,” and even I know that her outfits are profoundly, hilariously unprofessional. My best friend who teaches 7th grade is vastly more put-together and businesslike. And these are the assholes who worship corporations and want government to be run the same way! How does she not get that if she had a real private-sector job, even as an admin, she’d have been taken aside for a Talk about her wardrobe her first week in?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Nobody says she has to look or dress like Ivanka. But there are companies out there who make decent business attire for plus sized women- heck, I used to shop at a few, which is why I’m being so hard on her.
          She does represent the office of the President and she just makes them look like a bigger clown car than they already are.

          • desida

            I mean, hell, she could probably afford to have suits and blouses custom-made, if she couldn’t find anything suitable on the rack. Instead, she speaks for the fucking PRESIDENT while dressed like it never occurred to her that you can buy clothes somewhere other than the mall. I would be very surprised if she has never gone to make an announcement in something from Old Navy. Un-freaking-believable.

        • I spend all my time dressed like Death from Sandman if she were an extra in a Mad Max film

          … are you single???

    • Michael R

      You sure girl ?

    • SayItWithWookies

      How about child rapist, Sarah — can you say he’s not a child rapist?

    • georgiaburning

      But, Sarah, are you?

    • Alan

      But we all know she’s a liar too.

    • Michael Smith

      “He just has serious issues with stability and tends to say whatever he thinks sounds the best in any given situation and then forgets later what he said, and is able to convince himself that his technically false rendition of the past is accurate. Since he actually believes he’s telling the truth due to an untreated mental health problem, he isn’t a liar.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Apropos of pussy, did Madame Speaker also happen to bring up the gigantic quivering mass of vaginal discharge that is Paul Ryan?

    Asking for pretty much everybody on the planet.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      vaginal discharge libelzzzz!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The best part of today’s show was Joe slapping Mark Halperin around for his pretzel-like defense of Trump.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      So it is a day ending with “y”?

      I’m no Scarblow fan but in a battle of wits Halperin is completely unarmed.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    There were millions of illegal votes, the same way there are millions of dollars in may bank account…the same way I have millions of ideas for bringing back coal…
    — Donald Trump

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    “For many citizens of Smolensk Oblast, was first election for them to vote and exercise patriotic duty to Motherland. People of Russia are grateful to American stooges for voting opportunity! Also, Donnie Donaldovich is not puppet!” – Vladimir

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Did you guys know I won the popular vote? Once you discount the 137 million people who voted illegally, of course. And I’m not even counting California.

  • memzilla Ω
    • William
      • Lulu Mac

        That “vindicated” tweet is going to age as well as “I’m not a crook” and “I did not have sexual relations with that woman…”

        • TJ Barke

          Too bad it’s not a soundbite…

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          And notice that the “vindicated” and “crook” quotes concern terrible, illegal, country-damaging crimes, whereas the other one refers to a guy having a little sex on the side.

    • BearGHAZI

      My comments actually have the most upfists, everyone just upfists Memzilla illegally

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        Fake upfists! Sad.

        • HooverVilles

          And even MOAR funny!!

      • HooverVilles

        Funny.

  • Juan de Fuca

    77 yr old Pelosi questioning Trump’s “fitness” for office reminds me of the time James Comey’s 86 yr old father said that he thought Donald Trump “belongs in a home.”

    When you’re 70 years old and people older than you are saying that you should probably call it good and go off to enjoy the rest of your life, you should probably take note.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The years weigh heavier on fat, lazy, rageaholic assholes.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Trump would have won the popular vote, but my hackers got into the vodka again. They have been warned, that kind of failure again will get them a bowl of Polonium stew.”
    — Vladimir Putin

  • weejee
    • Oblios_Cap

      He really is a short-fingered vulgarian.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Honestly, as the Delta Green D20 book stated back in the 90s, it’s quite easy to believe that the Stars Have Come Right.

      “All fled—all done, so lift me on the pyre—

      The Feast is over, and the lamps expire.”
      ― Robert E. Howard

      • Historicat

        *cough*
        nerd
        *cough*

      • sadboy

        Just waiting for Mr. Shiny to get through the confirmation hearings.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          Ha! Well Played.

  • Michael R

    Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) drew the love of Twitter after she dropped multiple F-bombs during a speech at New York University’s Personal Democracy Forum on Friday morning.

    “Has he kept his promises?” she said. “No. Fuck no.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d36ffa619189511590fdb5c7a93534d2fc477c578db08d2cb973470546a02c08.jpg

    • mackafritz

      We need a president who can drop f-bombs where they are needed.

      • Shibusa

        Mother Of All Bad-words

        • OutOfOrbit

          I don’t know about that: “Cunt” is pretty mothery.

          • Shibusa

            I was jesting about Trump’s dropping of the so-called MOAB.

      • Lulu Mac

        Fuck yes.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      She and Harris would kick all the ass, take all the names and drop all the F bombs.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      F bombs not A bombs

      • Predisenting Ron

        THIS

    • commatoes

      Sad to say, female senators have to be badasses while the men can be the political equivalent of white bread soaked in milk. Harris, former Attorney General of California; Warren, Harvard Law Professor, Duckworth, Lt. Colonel US Army, helicopter pilot, lost her legs in combat; Masto, Attorney General of Nevada; etc.

      Yeah, I have got to give these senators some respect.

      I also respect Susan Collins (R) for telling her party to screw themselves from time to time and Lisa Murkowski for giving the finger to the Alaska GOP in her last election.

  • SayItWithWookies

    You know we’re fucked when good, reasonable people start hoping god fixes shit. Guess it’s time to start digging that bunker.

  • Lulu Mac

    And don’t try to shut her up either!

    https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/872982332155715584

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Oh snap!

    • cheetojeebus

      I love that glance back after she’s done persisting.

    • elviouslyqueer

      “With that, I yield back the balance of my time, you rude fucking asshole.”

      — What Pelosi’s last look really said

    • eyelashviper

      Cojones, you go Nancy!!!!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Mika ties her ties the way I tie mine!”
    — Donald Trump

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I have this dream (I dunno, maybe more nightmare) that some set of illogical circumstances happen and Trumpy is stripped bare a la Cersei Lannister and must walk the streets of D.C. while an old crone walks behind him ringing a bell and chanting “shame!” Instead of the populace spitting on him and throwing rotten fruit, though, people are just giggling and pointing at his tiny, tiny penis, barely perceptible under the rolling layer of gut fat. You’ll never be able to mentally unsee this now. You’re welcome.

    • Lulu Mac

      I hate you.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It will only be Trump’s head digitally superimposed on Paul Ryan’s body.

      • Ill-Advised

        Ick. There isn’t enough brain bleach or psychotherapy in the world to unsee what I just visualized.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      “I bet Donny couldn’t even play a record with that tiny prick.”

    • greyXstar

      Everything is terrible now forever.

    • Crystalclear12

      You monster!

      • puredog

        I say martini ambassador needs to be waterboarded with CANNED CLAMS!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          YAAASSSSSSSSSSS!!!! And we won’t even OPEN THE CANS!

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • TJ Barke

    The predisent is a snowflake. The yoogest snowflake.

    • weejee

      Here in Seattle’s Swish Alps, people proudly hang snowflakes in the trees.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      A flakesnow

    • marxalot

      A whole snowjob, in fact.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • weejee

      Which tRump ignores.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        No, you’re completely wrong, he doesn’t ignore them! He enables, inflames, encourages, and supports them!

    • SayItWithWookies

      So it worked!

  • BigCSouthside

    First republican senator that puts this fucker under oath gets to keep their seat. This sound fair to everyone?

    (Unless it’s Mitch. Fuck Mitch)

    • SammyDEEEE

      It would never, ever, be Mitch.

    • Ill-Advised

      Sounds fair. Tell your Congresscritter.
      *evil grin*

  • arglebargle

    I so wish I would live long enough to see U.S. politicians not feel the need to invoke their “belief” in a supernatural power being on our side as our reason for being a world leader in everything. How do you know your sky daddy is better than their sky daddy?

    Fuck religion. that is all.

    So there. I didn’t use it yesterday, but I got it in three days this week, and so far have dodged any wayward lightning strikes. this species is doomed if we can’t give up this childish obsession. It helped give us Trump, what more evidence do you need.

    • mackafritz

      According to them trump is god’s gift to America. Their god is either evil or has a bad sense of humor.

      • puredog

        Booby prize.

      • Ill-Advised

        Not mutually exclusive, some say.

    • PubOption

      “Gott mit uns”? Who could object to that?

      • arglebargle

        Say, you know who else… Ahhhh nevermind.

  • Shibusa

    I don’t know if anybody has posted this already. Just got here.
    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/873186242359382016

    • arglebargle

      Good to see there’s some people acting like adults in this story.

      • SeeTrain65

        Shame it’s not the adults.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Can we skip a couple of generations and just put kids like this in charge?

  • eyelashviper

    OT, justa nother panel of pundits anal-yzing issues of great import:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOHjMwPTCXQ

    • SpideySenser

      If that thing is anywhere from 11 to 20 feet tall, should we be calling it a Maxotaur?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    I saw on the Internet that Donald J. Trump is a Pussy with a Micro-Peen.

    • Bobathonic

      Hey, it must be true, I just read that, too!

      • boredcatlady

        People are saying

        • William

          Many people are saying.

          • efoveks

            Everyone is saying

          • SpideySenser

            AOT, K.

          • Rags

            Especially Frederick Douglass

        • HooverVilles

          “Some people say”. Oh wait, that’s the phrase that FAUX uses.

    • MynameisBlarney

      And he hasn’t denied it yet, soooo….

    • Alan

      You’re getting sued.

    • SeeTrain65

      Must be true.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “An honorable defeat is better than a dishonorable victory.” – Millard Fillmore

    “You know I won the popular vote.” – Donald Trump

    Close enough.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Which one’s the sex closet?”
      — Warren Harding

      “AOT,K”
      — JFK

      • Vincent Ricola

        LOL. I wish I could upvote this 10 more times.

      • William

        I got nuthin’
        Benjamin Harrison.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        The one that has drains in the floor!

        – Donald Trump

    • William

      Who the fuck is Millard Fillmore?
      Grover Cleveland

    • SeeTrain65

      “An honorable defeat is better than a dishonorable victory.” – Millard Fillmore

      “Why aren’t you laughing at my stuff? … Hello? … Is anyone there?” – Mallard Fillmore

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I had someone on FB trot out the county EC map after the election, and my comment was “wow, he won more acreage than Clinton. Sadly, this is not a thing.”

  • baconzgood

    He’s like that kid in Jr. High that said every Saturday night he goes to college parties when every one knows he’s really watching Chips with his mom (not that Chips isn’t a great show nor is hanging out with your Ma).

    • Juan de Fuca

      I got my mom hooked on the new(er) Hawaii Five-O series.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I grew up watching cop shows, but I can’t stand to watch them anymore since “The Shield”.

        • William

          But…you still like T.J. Hooker hood slides right? ..and the cool music right? I mean…RIGHT?

          https://youtu.be/x3GRTUT0sH4

          • Hey, he did his own stunts, so there’s that…

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I used to watch TJ Hooker in reruns, until they had literally 4 episodes in a row about rape.

        • Juan de Fuca

          The newer Hawaii Five-O series is da’ bomb. Then again, I’m biased because it’s Hawaii but still.

          It’s legit.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Isn’t Grace Park from BSG on Five-O?

          • Juan de Fuca

            She is indeed. She also reminds me of my sister-in-law back on Oahu. Spittin’ image and has the “local girl” part down pretty good.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Dang. :) She sounds like knock-out.

          • Juan de Fuca

            She is and all of my father-in-law’s daughers are knockouts ;-) Then again, on Oahu most of the girls are pretty, tough and independent. Especially on the west side of Oahu.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            *Sigh* Maybe someday. :)

          • mfp

            i was talked into going to hawaii (oahu) 10 yrs ago by mrs mfp and another couple we know…by talked into it, imean that i thought ‘great…fucking florida only with 10hrs in a sardine can tacked onto each end of it’ (hate commercial flying)

            no…it’s nothing like florida…we were there for 8 days, and i fell in love with every bit of it, the paradise, the people, and yes, the girls appear as you describe..friendly, happy, outgoing–cause youknow, it’s paradise

            they had to drag me onto the 2nd 10hrs of tin can, imean i was ready to say ‘fuckit’ and stay with whatever i had in my suitcase–sell my guitars, alla my shit, i dont care–if i’d even been 40yrs old and not 50 at the time—*sigh* is right

        • SeeTrain65

          It doesn’t help that there aren’t many cop shows worth watching. I only slightly flick through Blue Bloods to see if Cady Huffman shows up.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Has a girlfriend in Canada?

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      He’s a living “/thathappened” subreddit

  • Michael Smith

    And the worst part is, those cows and married cousins are voting against their own interests. I mean, the married cousins are probably not very smart because cousin-marrying is dangerous for reproduction, but I expected better decision making from those cows!!

    • Here’s a letter from one, published in yesterday’s NY Times (he seems nice):

      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/07/opinion/media-criticism-from-a-proud-deplorable.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

      • Michael Smith

        Donald Trump makes people like the writer of that letter feel powerful.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          That’s exactly, EXACTLY what it is. He has seduced them with the siren song of feeling powerful and better than everyone else, and it’s too alluring to let go of. He is the Nigerian Prince scammer and they are the pathetic dumb fat middle aged women sending their life savings because they want to believe him so badly. Cows, on the other hand, have the sense to known where their food and shelter comes from, and it’s not the Nigerian Prince scammer.

      • aureolaborealis

        TLDR: “Dear NYT, You are disconnected from the propaganda stream from which I feed and derive all of my self-worth these days.”

      • CindyinEncinitas

        That can’t be real.

      • SeeTrain65

        Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it would be from an Ohioan.

        Get me the fuck out of here.

    • Rags
      • SeeTrain65

        Trump would be punching the pump screaming “GIMME MY WATER!”

  • Crystalclear12

    Pelosi 2018?

    • William

      Angus King 2018.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Angus King/Kamala Harris

      • Crystalclear12

        2020 for a full term.

      • puredog

        IKR??!? Who ever heard of him before day before yesterday? I’ve developed a huge man-crush on the geezer.

        • William

          Many of our most beloved political leaders in Maine have been independents. I had the privilege of meeting King (before he even became gov.). He seems to be a man of great personal integrity.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            I was going to say it must be the cold winters and pine trees. But then I remembered we have both of those in Northern Wisconsin too and all the politicians there are regressive assholes.

            So….it must be the lobstah then.

          • Natalie

            I grew up in Windham, Maine and I remember us as being kind folks rather “live and let live” types. I was so shocked that Paul Lepage got elected, then I read about the three way voting.

          • William
          • Natalie

            Oh, this is Great!

        • John Thorstensen

          The Moustache of Righteousness! (H/T Charlie Pierce)

      • PersianOregano

        I’m a sucker for a Plantagenet reference.

    • Thiazin Red

      Doable, take back the House then get rid of Trump and Pence.

    • Alan

      For?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The Speakership? That’s what 2018 is about.

        • Alan

          Not sure she would want it anymore. She’s pushing 80.

          • Ill-Advised

            She can speak to that. Based on the job she’s doing now, I wouldn’t rule it out.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    God’s away on business.

  • Ωbjectifier
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Was that Brad Pitt?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Ayup

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          Nice. I never liked him until Fury, but I’m getting to be a fan now.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Check out War Machine on Netflix.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I’m planning on it. :)

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            He was great in that movie… the way he ran, I laughed out loud every time I saw it. Hilarious.

          • Persistent Demme

            You didn’t like “Inglorious Basterds?”

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Haven’t yet seen it. I haven’t been to a theater since Iron Man 3 and money has been tight too.

          • Persistent Demme

            You’ll really enjoy it.
            Great performances!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Tarentino, right? I figure I’ll love it. :)

          • Persistent Demme

            Yep.
            Tarantino and Eli Roth, (who also stars in it).
            Wonderful cast, and a star-making performance by Cristoph Waltz.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Awesome, I want to catch it when I can. :)

          • mfp

            possibly tarantino’s best movie…just my opinion

          • D-Reactor

            Yes. Finally someone who agrees with me.

          • mfp

            actually, i was going to type ‘easily’ instead of ‘possibly’, but i didnt want to have to dodge the digital tomatoes and go back-forth over it…old thread now, so safe? 😆…anyway, i dont even think it’s close…easily his best

  • Spurning Beer

    “I can definitely say the President is not a pedophile, horse rustler, pickpocket, peeping Tom, bed wetter, arsonist, counterfeiter, extortionist, tax evader, deadbeat, absentee parent, slumlord, compulsive liar, swindler, ….”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “…or Methodist.”

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        *golf clap* Well Played, Sirrah.

    • arglebargle

      you forgotted pussy grabber.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Does The Apprentice make him a well known thespian?

    • Historicat

      I can with some degree of certainty definitely say the President is not a pedophile, horse rustler, pickpocket, peeping Tom, bed wetter, arsonist, counterfeiter, extortionist, tax evader, deadbeat, absentee parent, slumlord, compulsive liar, swindler, ….

      Fixed.

      • Doesn’t drumpf have a pending lawsuit against him about having sex with an underage girl? So maybe not a pedophile, but…?

        • Explody Brain

          Ephibophile.

        • Historicat

          The only one on that list I’m willing to ascribe any level of certainty is horse rustler – I can’t imagine him anywhere near a horse.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          it was dropped…allegedly the woman was fearful, perhaps death threats?

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          My understanding is that she got one too many death threats.

      • puredog

        Not a bed wetter. He pays people to do that for him.

      • Lori

        “Extortionist” would be consistent with his personality, so that one might need an asterisk.

        • Gregory Brown

          My thought exactly. What do you think all those lawsuit threats were for over the years, and he tried it with Comey. “Nice job you have there as FBI director. Would be a shame if anything happened to it.”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      …although I’m not entirely convinced about the bed wetter thing.

      • osceola

        But Don Jr. is. It might be genetic.

    • jesterpunk
    • CindyinEncinitas

      Assumes facts not in evidence.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    🎵Let it go, let it go 🎵

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    “God is always with us” Much is explained.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I love this woman and want to have her grandbabies.

    • Erala Contratista

      She has quite a few, but thanks!

  • NotReallyHere

    Here’s how Joe introduces Pelosi.

    “Alright, we have Speaker-to-be Nancy Pelosi with us.”

    I was kind of blown away by that statement, but then the whole interview kind of shocked me. They seem really pissed off at Trump’s behavior, and they weren’t really pulling their punches at all.

    • Canis Greyhame

      That Starbucks Joe has been quite sassy lately, making a big point of saying “PRESIDENT BANNON” every chance he gets.

      • NotReallyHere

        Wow! I haven’t really watched Morning Joe since the election, when they made me vomit in my mouth. So… this is quite the shift!

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          It’s nothing but damage control. They’re hoping people will forget they personally provided 1/3 of the free publicity trump got during the campaign.

          • Thorn Spike

            Bingo.

          • Gregory Brown

            Maybe the fact that they are openly banging has eased the tension and allowed their brains to clear.

          • Mike Steele

            Was a hardcore viewer, until about seven years ago, when it became apparent that MJ was dying (ahem) to put his shady past aside and try to run again. Every freakin’ sentence began: “When I was in the House…yadda, yadda…” That was then, and we know why you left. MJ and the show are irrelevant. Mika has always been a disgrace – Howard Stern’s Robin to Joe’s blowhard bullshit (see: Newt).

      • Apple Scruff

        He knows Trump is watching and he LOVES getting under his skin.

    • commatoes

      Like George Will, Joe is looking at the absolute clusterf**ck that has become of his party and is giving them a big “F YOU” for riding in Trump’s clown car. Sad to say Joe and George, you expect GOP voters to have more that a couple functioning brain cells and act rationally. Though I am not excusing Joe’s actions during the Clinton Era. A serious anti-intellectual group has taken over the GOP which goes back to GWB and his voters. The loonies are really running the asylum. There seems to be an almost visceral distrust among hard line GOPers for anyone with an educations that tells them that their accepted truth is wrong.

  • kindness

    I love Nancy Smash! When I see ‘some’ on the liberal side of the aisle suggest that Nancy needs to go, it makes me wonder if they inhabit the same alternative universe that Trumpistas inhabit.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      OTOH, I’m still kind of pissed about that whole “impeachment is off the table” thing.

      Cheney and Bush should be bunkmates in a 12×12 room at Chateau Levenworth.

      • keenanjay

        Another occasion when the requirement for preserving the Republic overrode our visceral need for justice. Nancy has that kind of class and wisdom.

        • Lori

          Eh, IDK. I think a lot of what’s passed for preserving the Republic in recent decades was really just preserving the status quo. Regardless, I think it’s contributed a great deal to the mess we’re in today. It’s tough to have a functioning country without justice, especially when that country is supposedly built on being a nation of laws, not of men. We need to rethink before we end up with neither justice nor the Republic.

          • keenanjay

            That could be the outcome. However, imagine yourself in the position to make life or death decisions as a commander or make policy decisions in the fractious political environment we face. Purity of purpose meets the possibility of horrific outcomes. Leading this country has always been such. Keeping this mess afloat is a huge responsibility.
            Republicans, with their anti-government rhetoric, have brought us to this dangerous situation.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Hey, if we didn’t even prosecute Jefferson Davis for treason, it’s impossible to imagine those guys getting clipped.

        • Gregory Brown

          He did serve time in the slammer, and was never given his citizenship back. His boy, R.E. Lee, didn’t get restored to citizenship until the 1960’s, which I still view as a mistake.

    • JD Mulvey

      Her number 1 job as leader of the minority is to keep her caucus together, because if the Republicans can split off some of our votes, we’re sunk.

      She’s been remarkably good at doing that.

      • Explody Brain

        I give her some credit, but there’s also the fact that people would riot in blue districts if Dems started peeling off to vote with the Republicans.

        (And, there was a fair bit of that during the Cabinet confirmations.)

        • JD Mulvey

          (1) The Cabinet confirmation hearings were in the Senate.

          (2) What does a Congressman care if people in somebody else’s district are rioting over a vote they cast?

          • Explody Brain

            You’re totally right on 1. I just wasn’t thinking.

            I meant if Dems split and voted Republican, there would be rioting in their own districts.

      • Once&futureFred

        People blame her for D losses over the last election cycles while ignoring that she herded cats to get the votes for Ocare, which were courageous votes for contentious legislation meant to displace the “for profit” health insurance racket. Those people who lost their seats lost them because they risked their seats in order to help people and do the right thing, something you’ll never see on the R side. Ocare isn’t perfect, or even great, but it’s the first chink in the armor of the idiotic “health insurance” racket, and will ultimately lead to single payer.

        • mfp

          if it isnt destroyed first…those sneaky fascist anti-democratic-process republican bastards in the senate are about to push their AHCA bullshit through–this may not have been possible to pull off, had the public option gotten any support, as that would have seriously weakened the insurance mafia by now

          at any rate, i’ve called it pelosi-care from day 1, since she’s the one that did all the heavy work

    • Teto85

      She’s my Congresscritter. I love her. I would just love to see half-pence and trump both removed from office after the 2018 elections and she takes over. President Nancy. Eh, we can all dream.

    • Apple Scruff

      The ones who say Nancy has to go are the same ones who hate Hillary and say Bernie TOTES would have won.

      You know, just common brogressives.

      • HooverVilles

        The purity voters.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Knows facts. Acts. That’s Nancy. I’ve seen them try to buffalo her before, and it didn’t work then either. She makes them stick to the facts, which is death to the Donald, with votes.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Well, Mr. President, that’s not true.” There are no facts, there is no evidence to support what you just said. And if we were going to work together, we have to stipulate to a certain set of facts.”

    Here’s the deal, Herr Drumpf – Celebrity Apprentice was a paintball game. In DC, they play with live ammunition. It’s been almost 5 months now, and you haven’t figured that out. Good luck (that was sarcasm) with the Mueller investigation.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I admire her optimism, it’s a shame I don’t share it. I’m not sure America can survive this goon;

    • TundraGrifter

      Of course we can. At our birth we defeated the most powerful military nation on the face of the earth. Huddled on a hostile shore we formed a new nation. We survived Great Britain’s attempt to reverse the Revolution, we had our own Civil War, we defeated Nazis and Communists who wanted to rule the world.

      Piece of cake.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Thanks for the pep talk. I really, really needed it.

        • TundraGrifter

          I stole part of it from Bill Moyers. It is very true.

          Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? It ain’t over until WE say it is over – and we’re just getting started.

          I wouldn’t be surprised if President Trump’s health takes a turn for the worse after the November 2018 bloodbath and he resigns. With votes. Or from votes.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            I volunteer to drive the parade float with “Eat Me” on the side.

          • Bettinala

            The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, but point taken.

          • TundraGrifter

            Apparently you’ve never seen “Animal House.” I suggest you give it a glance.

          • Bettinala

            Damn it. I haven’t seen Animal House since it first came out, so I didn’t recognize the reference until you pointed it out.

      • Ill-Advised

        And now we face the most devious and powerful enemy yet. An enemy with immense resources, deep knowledge of us, an enemy we know well, or not at all. We have met the enemy; and he is us.

        • Natalie

          I go Pogo.

        • TundraGrifter

          Grasshopper – Our greatest strength is our greatest weakness. We have a government of, by, and for the people.

          I suggest things will improve from here because so many have awakened to the horror of what we have done.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Remember how many people had to die during the Civil War, though?

        • TundraGrifter

          No doubt about it. Today the question is “Did they die in vain?”

          Perhaps the most astonishing thing about the American Revolution is that we didn’t have a second one. There was Shay’s Rebellion and The Whiskey Rebellion, of course, but generally major revolutions are followed by another not too much later. [Cuba remains an exception in world history – but that’s another story.]

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            We’ve had such a great run, I really hate that it’s ending in my lifetime.

          • TundraGrifter

            Ending? We’re just getting started. We elected a Black man President and we should have then elected a woman. Life is the best it’s ever been for many of us. We continue to leave some behind but we’re working on that and it continues to get better and better and better.

            This isn’t the time to give up. This is the time to re-double our efforts and work toward the promise of a more perfect Union. For all.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Yeah, unfortunately I’m old, and this country is going to be FUBAR by the time Trump leaves office and I ain’t got time for this shit. I really thought we’d be done with the GOP in my lifetime, after the Bush debacle, but middle America is so dumb, the elected someone even WORSE than Bush.

  • commatoes

    Whenever I think about Trump TRYING to get things done and Pelosi ACTUALLY getting things done.

    https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-01/21/15/asset/buzzfeed-prod-web-11/sub-buzz-22233-1485029229-1.png?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto

    Yeah, I got a small crush on Ms. Benoist.

    • Charon_69

      That is the best picture I’ve seen in forever and literally gives me hope; thank you for posting

  • Somecallmetim

    So now he can grab himself by the himself (since that homely model cut him off).

  • thixotropic jerk

    “But this is an amazing new delusion from the syphilitic squirrels who hunt for hickory nuts inside Donald Trump’s brain.”

    Did the squirrel’s have syphilis before or after they went in his brian after the nuts ’cause if one of them is a lady squirrel then he probably– see where I’m going with this? Because Understanding Your Metaphors Is Important that’s why!!

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    I am not sure who’s line it is, but Lil’Donnie isn’t a pussy. He lacks the warmth and the depth.

    • phoenix00

      And noone in his right mind wants his you-know-what in it.

      • Last Hussar

        I work in a UK prison
        Prisoner You’re a cunt
        Probation Officer No, I lack warmth and depth.

        PO relates story back in office.
        Me; and you’re not nice to lick

        Apparently that is going too far…

        • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

          Huh. So that’s too far in that conversation, is it? Good to know…

  • mary5920

    This is definite proof that rich people aren’t necessarily smart. I’m talking about the Mercer family and the Koch brothers, who might be as delusional as any garden variety loon.

    • Ducksworthy

      If it weren’t for their billions they’d be standing on a street corner somewhere babbling their gibberish to the pigeons.

    • Popillius

      No kidding – don’t forget the De Vos’es of Amway fame. Everywhere you look is some rich MFers who think they should rule the world on account of they’re RICH.

      • Bongstar420

        I will accept that structure if they are the poorest, and I am the richest.

        If they only propose that system on the grounds that they are rich, they are no different than any monarchy.

        I don’t advocate that $=votes….I advocate that IQ+Education+Talent+Experience+Integrity = Votes

    • Bongstar420

      Um, simple IQ suveys show the rich aren’t necessarily smart given that millionaires have an average IQ of 115 while billionaires are somewhere around 130. This means millionaires tend to be 100-125 and billionaires tend to be 115-140.

      Problem is that there are 2,000 billionaires and 140,000,000 people on the planet with +130 IQ.

      Rich people have no claim to superiority as long as they use limited capital availability to leverage against their peers. There is a reason trumpski (probably in the 100-115 IQ range) is a billionaire and most people with +130IQ would be fortunate just to pull $100k a year.

      No matter which way you slice it, there are far more smart people than rich people….and the rich are utterly dependent on the non-rich for their own existence.

  • Ducksworthy
    • SeeTrain65

      Not CNN, just Anthony Scaramucci. Another Trump bootlicker.

      Editor’s Note: Anthony Scaramucci is the founder of SkyBridge Capital and was a member of the Trump transition team. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely his.

      • HooverVilles

        Deception, projection and ad hominem(sp?) attacks are their tools of the trade.

        • SeeTrain65

          Agreed. (And BTW: You spelled it right.)

    • Johnny Appleseed

      You are a Republican! And no need to verify it, you’ve already offered enough proof.

      • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

        Nah. Look at the comment history. Ducks might be a CNN hater, like many Wonkers.

    • Weird Fishes

      You mean someone lost their lunch order??

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      CNN says? Ohh . . .
      CNN Editor’s Note: “Anthony Scaramucci is the founder of SkyBridge Capital and was a member of the Trump transition team. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely his.”
      Also, “wich” sb “witch.”
      Ducksworthy, please see the teacher after class.

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS and Baltimore girl here: Don’t try to try to trash Nancy. She’s the only d’Allesandro gal with five older brothers. Her Dad & bro Tommy III were mayors. Gotta tell you, I’m not a total Nancy fan, but hold her in high regard along with our other home-grown Catholic homie, Barbara Mikulski. These are smart, well-educated ladies who are well-equipped to face off against ignorant white-trash opponents. As a Western High Class of 1965 grad, will support these women to the mat .

    • Ms.Moon

      She learned how to be a pol at the knee of her pa and he was a smart, smart fellow who forgot nothing. She learned how to play the game as a young woman and she knows how to play smart thanks to dear old dad.

    • Terpsichord

      Both Pelosi and Mikulski are grads of my high school, The Institute of Notre Dame.

  • Bongstar420

    No no…11,000,000 brown skinned illegal voters pulled that lever at least 2 times in 2 different states.

    Obviously, trumpski is the bestest most popularist el presidente ever!

    Oh, and California doesn’t count. Just ask any trumpski voter.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    She also reassures us that America “can withstand anything” and “God is always with us,”

    She`s not all there either I see. Could Speaker Pelosi please keep to the facts and data, and show us the whereabouts of this “god” person of which she speaks?

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