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He swears to tell the truth.

So! James Comey testified Thursday morning, and it was just great! And now Donald Trump’s idiot lawyer Marc Kasowitz has released a statement in response, on behalf of his client, and it is … um …

Like, we don’t mean to be unkind, but Trump might have done better just live-tweeting the damn thing, like he reportedly wanted to.

Let’s look at it:

So that is some lawyering! But it’s not good lawyering. Kasowitz says Comey “[made] clear that the President never sought to impede the investigation,” because apparently we are going to split hairs over the EXACT WORDS Trump used. Trump said he “hoped” Comey could find a way to stop investigating Michael Flynn. It wasn’t an order or anything! It’s not like Donald Trump is the president, oh wait he is, at least technically. Comey, of course, testified that he took it as a directive, because ANY SANE PERSON IN A MEETING IN THE OVAL OFFICE would take it that way, ESPECIALLY if the president had just shooed everybody else out of the room so he could grab the FBI director by the pussy in private.

Kasowitz straight up denies that Trump asked for Comey’s loyalty, to which we will just echo Comey’s testimony, when he said, “Lordy I hope there are tapes” of their conversations. Why? Because Donald Trump is a known fucking liar, and there is no reason to believe he’s told his lawyer the truth.

But that’s not the most LOL part. The most LOL part is about how James Comey IS THE REAL LEAKER!!!!!11111ELEVEN!!!1! We’ll transcribe, so we can laugh at it REALLY LOUDLY:

Mr. Comey admitted that he unilaterally and surreptitiously made unauthorized disclosures to the press of privileged communications with the President. […] Mr. Comey admitted that he leaked to his friends his purported memos of these privileged conversations, one of which he testified was classified. […] We will leave it the [sic] appropriate authorities to determine whether this [sic] leaks should be investigated …

Oh. My. God.

Comey testified SPECIFICALLY that he wrote certain memos in an unclassified way, so that if they needed to be shared, there wouldn’t be a ton of red tape. Let’s go to the transcript:

WARNER: I found it very interesting that, that in the memo that you wrote after this February 14th pull-aside, you made clear that you wrote that memo in a way that was unclassified. If you affirmatively made the decision to write a memo that was unclassified, was that because you felt at some point, the facts of that meeting would have to come clean and come clear, and actually be able to be cleared in a way that could be shared with the American people?

COMEY: Well, I remember thinking, this is a very disturbing development, really important to our work. I need to document it and preserve it in a way, and this committee gets this but sometimes when things are classified, it tangled them up. […]

If I write it such a way that doesn’t include anything of a classification, that would make it easier for to us discuss within the FBI and the government, and to hold onto it in a way that makes it accessible to us.

In later questioning, sexxxy Senator Martin Heinrich of New Mexico asked for clarification as to whether all the memos were unclassified. Comey said nah, some were classified. A bit after that, idiot Missouri Republican Senator Roy Blunt sought clarification, to make sure Comey didn’t leak CLASSIFIED memos to his pal, which then ended up in the New York Times:

COMEY: Not the classified documents. Unclassified. I don’t have any of them anymore. I gave them to the special counsel. My view was that the content of those unclassified memorializations of those conversations was my recollection recorded.

So, since they are UNCLASSIFIED and Trump was Twitter-sharting about “Comey better hope I don’t have tapes,” there was literally NOTHING illegal or untoward about him giving his UNCLASSIFIED memo about his OWN RECOLLECTIONS to his FRIEND. We know lawyers like to speak lawyer-ese, but this is just fucking stupid. Maybe the sorts of “best people” who are willing to represent Donald Trump are impressed by that sort of logic, but not GOOD lawyers, or people with IQ’s over 100. Bad job, Marc Kasowitz!

Are all of the rightwing sausagemakers conflating the “leaked” (not leaked) memo Comey gave a friend to forward to the New York Times, with a different story the New York Times did, which Comey said they fucked up like a common New York Times? THEY ARE.

Here is Alex Jones, being an idiot:

This is beyond a nothingburger. This is a treasonburger, ladies and gentlemen. Comey admits he leaked the memo to The New York Times which they then admit got the story wrong. Oh, so they used a memo, misrepresented what was in it to hurt the president.

Nope. Stop taking John McCain’s trucker speed, Alex Jones!

Here are Wonkette’s other brief takeaways from the Comey hearing, which we literally copy/pasted from our liveblog of the hearing. If you want to know ALL THE HOTTEST MOMENTS, please click over and read that, as we are very ZZZZZZZ.

  1. Comey didn’t use the words, but he laid out a case for obstruction of justice by Donald Trump, including the fact that Trump definitely fired him over Russia, “because I’ve seen the president say so.”
  2. There is SOMETHIN’ FUNNY AFOOT about why Attorney General Sessions recused himself when he did. Comey said the FBI had more information on that, but he couldn’t share it in an open session. He also said he couldn’t discuss things like whether Trump colluded with Russia an open session, which is very different from “Nope he did not!”
  3. John McCain may be in the process of having a stroke.
  4. Michael Flynn was/is definitely under criminal investigation, and it seems it’s at least partially for lying/making false statements to the FBI.
  5. Comey definitely absolutely certainly believes Donald Trump is a giant liar, and he thought so WAY BACK the first time he met with Trump.
  6. LORDY James Comey hopes Trump has tapes of their conversations.
  7. LORDY Donald Trump hopes Comey doesn’t have the pee tape, not that there is one.

Anyway, we hope you have all had a very nice Comey Day. We sure did! And now since you’ve been so good, you may have an OPEN THREAD.

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  • Mpeg

    I only wish it were “trucker speed” that McCain was on, Evan. Goodness knows any number of the senators in attendance could’ve used some, from what I saw~

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Weed and Wine Libel!

      • FlownΩver

        I’m willing.

  • janecita
    • BosGrl

      Geez.

    • kindness

      Well in all honesty they should have been made to ride on a flat bed truck with all of them in stocks so the people along the parade route have the opportunity to pelt them with rotted fruit & vegetables.

    • tomamitai

      Poe’s law strikes again!

  • BosGrl

    “Predisent”?

    • HogeyeGrex

      No shit.

    • arglebargle

      Predisent Lord Dampnut. Makes sense to me.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Writing is hard!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      We’ll probably find out that is some secret super-genius lawyer scheme that, by identifying him as “a Predisent” there is now no way that Trump can be tried or found guilty of any crimes.

      It’s like having gold fringe on the flag.

      I AM AN SOVEREIGN IDIOT AND PREDISENT OF THE ‘LEGAL SOCIETY’ I AM INCOMPETENT AND NOT REQUIRED BY LAW OR JUDGE OF THE UNITED INCORPORATED STATES TO BE COMPETENT AND AM AGENT AND SETTLER FOR PREDISENT TRUMP

      • Historicat

        Needs more red ink.

      • TheBoatDude

        Gold fringe?

    • CafeenMan

      Precedenting is hard!!

  • MrTusks

    “My recollection recorded.” He’s setting up his hearsay exceptions. What a guy.

    • Lulu Mac

      My thoughts exactly!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      All witnesses should be so helpful. Maybe he could mention how many of these were excited utterances at the time, just to allow for multiple exceptions.

      • MrTusks

        Business records was probably already locked up, he was just icing the cake.

  • sadboy

    Sorry, this whole Comey thing is a nothingburger. I’m much more interested in Kurt Eichenwald’s discussions of hentai with his family over on Twitter.

    • MrTusks

      So Comey “leaked” something, that was specifically not classified, that he made himself, specifically for public consumption in an event such as this?

    • vivian

      you would be

  • Ryan Denniston

    Bye bye Sessions. Pence, you oversaw this transition. Heckuva job, you’re next on the list.

    • chazmanr

      Oh goody, President P90X!

      • Ryan Denniston

        Hey, at least the Tuesday Group and Freedom Caucus will be free to go
        to war.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Evan, you owe some of us an apology, I think. That is not some lawyering. Loyerin’? Maybe.

    • Weird Fishes

      Loitering with criminal intent to obfuscate, more likely

      • CafeenMan

        If you want Trump or his lawyers to understand what you just said you’re going to have to cut way back on the syllables.

  • TJ Barke

    I hope Donnie and everybody close to him, apart from Barron I guess, goes down in flames.

    • armed_bears

      with votes.

      • TJ Barke

        Sure.

    • birdbrain53

      And Tiffany. And maybe Melania.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    The Trump adminstration & right-wing media’s response to every scandal revealed through a leak: WTF I THOUGHT SNITCHES WERE SUPPOSED TO GET STITCHES

  • Joe Beese

    Does the treasonburger come with fries?

    • Fartknocker

      Yes, Freedom Fries! And if you put gravy on them that’s also treason because it’s Canadian. However, Freedom fries with free government cheese with Rotel tomatoes makes you a patriot.

      • Michelle Singleton

        Omg… Fries & gravy… I just decided what’s for dinner…

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Add cheese curds and you’re full Canadian. Mmmmm. Poutine.

          • Michelle Singleton

            Not a fan of squeaky cheese (what my husband called them). I’d much rather have extra sharp cheddar…

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I sort of agree with you on that.

          • Three Finger Salute

            But not Vladimir Poutine. That stuff is poison.

        • kindness

          How about Chili Cheese fries? Bad for me I know but mighty tasty.

          • Michelle Singleton

            I was thinking about making chili but we had chicken chili the other day.

            Maybe I should make cheesy fries. Wonder if my kid will share her bacon bits… She puts them on her bologna sandwiches because she’s weird..,

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Yes, but I think you have to take your shirt off to eat it.

      Or is that just the High Crimes Short Ribs?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Fries? Onion rings! Made from real onions, also, too, none of that dehydrated reconstituted shit.

  • La forza del resistino

    I couldn’t get past, ‘I am Marc Kasowitz, Predisent Trump’s personal lawyer’. Neither could my 8 y/o granddaughter who at least giggled.

    • TheBoatDude

      Not a very lawyerly turn of phrase. “Attorney for Donald Trump” would have landed better. Here it sounds like he’s one of trumps treehouse buddies that’s better read than the rest.
      Then again, it could all be on the up and up and the guy knows he’s not getting paid, so he’s phoning it I’m…

  • Ryan Denniston
    • Three Finger Salute

      Send a love note to the guy on the right.

      Something something you’re so hot I wish you’d burn the White House down.

    • TheBoatDude

      I wonder if Obama knows he can dress down now and that he can just cruise around in shorts and flip flops..

  • armed_bears

    sexxxy Senator Martin Heinrich of New Mexico

    New Mexico and our eleventy eleven residents thank you for noticing.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Wait, did I just read in this guy’s release that he is a rep for “Predicent” Trump? See, it’s not just me–even his lawyers refuse to write the phrase “President” and “Trump” together.

    Also, too, the joke works better if you don’t make a dumbass typing mistake.

    • Manders

      One thing we learned my law shop: definitely proofread the first page of your brief so that you don’t look like a doofus in front of the court.

      This dude couldn’t even get someone to run an eye over the FIRST LINE.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Had to get it out quickly. Tiem is off the efence.

        • Manders

          *snerk*

    • SayItWithWookies

      He may not be my president, but my predisent? Sure, why not.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think that’s a subset of pre-crime. Pre-dissent. Even thinking about dissenting from the agenda is a crime now.

    • Lulu Mac

      I took Predisent once…made my face all puffy.

    • birdbrain53

      Paralegals called in sick to go to bars to watch the Comey hearing.

  • MrTusks

    Bob Loblaw Law: Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?

    • Le Covfefe Royal

      I think I read that on the Bob Loblaw Blog.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Does that say “Predisent?”

    *facepalm.jpg*

    • georgiaburning

      Getting the title wrong? Five points lost right there

      • HogeyeGrex

        Like spelling your own name wrong on the test.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Friend of the blog, Mr. Charles P. (not for P-hookers) Pierce, Esquire:

    In other words, if one of the Piranha Brothers comes into your cheese shop and says, “Nice little shop you have here. Hope it never burns down,” he likely is not suggesting that you buy more fire insurance.

    • Lulu Mac

      Leave it to the twitterverse to find a court case to contradict the “no one gets prosecuted for “hoping” something” argument:

      https://twitter.com/adamliptak/status/872835418194157568

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Proving that Twitter lawyers better than these idiots.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Hope is the thing with arson. – Emily Dickenson, Cosa Nostra Gun Moll

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Deeply shitty lawyering. The privilege of telling the top FBI guy all sorts of crimey shit and he can’t tell anyone about it because… reasons. D- lawyer reasons. (Not a F just because he spelled privilege right)

    If Trump or his lawyer were anything other than floaty turds they’d have seen enough TV to know that “anything you say can and will be used …”. They’re not just evil. They’re stupid fucks too.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Ever visit a prison? I’m just sayin’….

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    So Two Corinthians and the Predisent met for covfefe . . .

    • La forza del resistino

      and stiff the server on a tip.

      • TheBoatDude

        And dine and dash…

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    If you’re going to issue a high profile statement of any kind, especially a legal argument, it’s helpful to know the difference between “these” and “this”. I am just saying.

    I mean. . . Really?!

    And Alex Jones needs to test the marijuana again and STFU. Nobody wants to hear his running commentary. Not even his ex wife would put up with that.

    • BosGrl

      Drumpf probably typed and proofread it himself.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I hate to be picky in, y’know, casual writing like this noncomment section, but I kind of expect a little more from something that’s passed through enough hands to pick up casual mistakes like that.

        I don’t trust a news article with a typo, why the hell would I trust a lawyer with several?

        • BosGrl

          I could not agree more. But that’s the problem, I think. It did not pass through hands that would have caught the mistakes.

  • LegionOfDo

    Predisent Trump’s lawyer isn’t very bright

    • AJ Milne

      Isn’t that ‘laywer’?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Yes. Prseczion first. It’s the Wonkette way!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Teh laywer sez your gey.

    • Lulu Mac

      Also, too: water is wet.

  • Ryan Denniston

    No Predisent. No Predisent. You’re the Predisent!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Covfefe!

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Predisone? Wait? What?

      The predisent’s(that was hard as fuck to type deliberately) lawyer, ladies and gentlemen. We are so fucked!

  • Joe Beese

    To celebrate today’s BOMBshell testimony.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW_HCdU-qEY

    • MizzMazz

      I didn’t know I needed this until right now. Thanks.

  • Me not sure

    Mc Cain was still grouchy because his oatmeal didn’t have those raisins in it like he likes this morning.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6477cc7168bec354e46cdf906564fff82cb280d4076e33a090fd117775c9cc17.jpg

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s like a bowl full of nourishing little mirrors for Ole Johnny.

    • VirginiaLady

      It pisses me off when that happens.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I feel the same way when I can only get those damn dried cranberries.

      • Me not sure

        Dried cherries or GTFO.

  • Michael R
  • Msgr_MΩment

    I once had a lawyer’s wife back up into my car door. I then spent several months in a back-and-forth of letters (this was 30 years ago) with somebody WHO WASN’T FUCKING THERE telling ME what had gone down that day.

    Thirty-thousand lawyers on the bottom of the ocean: a good start.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      The ones who showed up at airports to help people who were being fucked by the the travel ban raised my estimation of folks with JDs…some of them are good people and there are a buttload who don’t even comment here, so they’re OK too, I guess.

  • TJ Barke

    Stop snitchin’!

  • Internet Hitler

    OT – or IS IT???!!
    Shuffling undead nightmare creature Trey “the Three” Gowdy picked to head Oversight

    From TheHill.com:

    The former prosecutor is best known for leading the House’s Benghazi investigation.

    NOW we’ll get to the bottom of these leaks to the press of stories that are made up!!

    http://thehill.com/homenews/house/336986-rep-trey-gowdy-wins-oversight-chairmanship

    • BosGrl

      Uh huh.

    • ltmcdies

      He ought to just call it the House UnAmerican Activities Committee (HUAC) or something.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      We’ll get to the bottom, all right.

  • vivian

    I want to know more about McCain’s President Comey investigation. Why has he stopped? I am DEEPLY TROUBLED by the apparent favoritism!

    • La forza del resistino

      McCain is still in denial as to he lost to in 2008.

      • vivian

        Hold on, there young’un. Had President Comey finished his investigation into the McCain’s election because Hillary was there and that Other One and WHERE DID I PUT MY FEET?

  • exinkwretch

    Trump is being served by the ablest legal counsel available. Which is shitty, because who is going to suffer the taint of association with him or get stiffed on the bill?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Rachel Maddow wanted him to have the best legal advice available so that, when it was all said and done, everyone would agree that everything was handled fairly and competently. My immediate thought was that his base would go to their graves complaining he was railroaded if he’s impeached no matter how damning the evidence is.

  • Ryan Denniston

    This fella doesn’t laws good.

  • kindness

    Oh this won’t end well. Next we will hear Alex Jones has a scoop that KFC released the non-confidential children’s menu Donald orders his buckets of chicken from. God how is The Colonel going to live through this?

    • Ryan Denniston

      He’ll get promoted to NSA?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Promoted to Surgeon General?

    • Joe Beese

      Anyone leaking the 11 secret herbs and spices will be prosecuted under the Espionage Act.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Did you ever hear where all those southern colonels and majors came from? White protective leagues to kill all the blacks/slaves if they ever got too uppity. Not such a proud reference after all.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Are we sure “Marc Kasowitz, Predisent Trump’s personal lawyer” actually went to a real law school and not “Hollywood Upstairs Law School”?

    • Ryan Denniston

      Are you going to question a graduate of Trump University?

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        That’s Trump University, Cayman Islands Campus.

    • Persistent Demme

      Good question.
      I hope that someone who can do the series of tubes good is looking into that.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Series of Tubes™ is so last administration. It’s “the cyber” now.

    • Blackest Noobs

      wait Hollywood got upstairs law schools? who fucking knew? damnit…better call fucking Saul!!!

    • kaydenpat
      • MizzMazz

        I… don’t want him examining me. Maybe that’s the only one 45 could find to touch him.

      • TheBoatDude

        University of Phoenix Medical School…

        The guy looks like a cross between Joe Walsh and the Dr in Running With Scissors..

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      If Both Sides Do It™ was anything other than squirrel-bait / turd-polishing effort by 1%-er owned media outfits to put the best windowdressing on Republican chicanery, we’d have some obnoxious internet lefties continuously freaking about his lack of a “Long Form Law Certificate.”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      He applied for a job with Lionel Hutz’s firm but was turned down.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I posted this in the “Walnutz is crazy” story, but I guess it more appropriately belongs here. Poor writing meets the red pen of an A.V. Club editor.
    https://twitter.com/ellembee/status/872914223491411968

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      What a freakin mess.

      The best people, Donnie hires.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        With all the best words.

        • yyyaz

          TBF, they do have all the best vowels and consonants. It’s arranging them that seems to be the problem.

      • Three Finger Salute

        It’s his own fault. He admitted he deliberately refuses to hire people who are “smarter than” he is. Which pretty much rules out everyone but comatose patients and the Kardashians.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      You get what you pay for and DOPUS has a history of not paying, so….

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Would probably also help if the way he chose an attorney wasn’t basically the end result of the legal profession playing an internal game of “not it.”

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Red Rover, Red Rover, let an independent counsel not connected with Vladimir Putin, no sirree, not at all, come over.

  • Fartknocker

    Poor Alex. He’s just sad that Austin PD busted two guys with 66 pounds of cocaine on I-35 so his supply is a tad low. Once he get’s the nose candy, he’ll be in prime form (according to everything I read on the internet).

  • harryr

    Exit poll says May hasn’t got a majority, but will be largest party. From her stance this a disaster. Best news of the year. Will have to see if it holds up, but looking good. Certainly not the 50+ majority she was planning on.

    • kaydenpat

      So what happened? I thought she was well liked over there.

      • Three Finger Salute

        By toothless Brexit chavs who love Comrade Nigel and hate Khan because reasons. Contessa May is Thatcher II. She blew it when she said human rights would have to be thrown under the bus for “safety” purposes.

      • harryr

        “hysterical laughter”. Basically, she ran a disastrous campaign, aloof, arrogant, pissed off the olds, who a) vote, and b) generally vote Tory. Also people got to see Corbyn without the filter of the right-wing press and realised that he is a decent man with good policies.

        • What happened to the right-wing press? Did they all die in a fire?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I’m convinced that there is no lawyer. There is only John Barron and whatever idiot appears on TV is just for show. It’s like 45 is pulling an Idi Amin.

    His Excellency, President for Life Field Marshall Al Hadj Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC. Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular.

    • Lulu Mac

      And the Last King of Scotland…

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Or a Mandarin (cf. “Iron Man 3,” the least of the Iron Men). (Sorry for all the superhero movie references today, but “Wonder Woman” got my geek blood pumpin’!)

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        No Mandarin! You’re the Mandarin!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Merovingian, goddamnit!

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          No, no….my name’s Trevor…Trevor Slattery.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I guess Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer got so fed up he went back to his ice cube.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8YBuwmtzYE

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Jist some 400 lb guy sitting on his bed in his legal briefs

  • elviouslyqueer

    In summary: Trump’s “lawyer” is a gigantic sack of shit and Trump, Sessions, and basically everyone within earshot of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is going to GO TO JAIL.

    THE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY END.

    • baconzgood

      Lordy I hope so.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      …and then I woke up.

    • kaydenpat

      In a fair world, they all would be going to jail. There is no doubt that Trump has engaged in impeachable offenses including obstructing an investigation into Russia’s interference in our last election.

      • Historicat

        In a fair world, Trump would have been soundly defeated by an 80 point margin, behind Hillary, Jill Stein, and Gary Johnson.

        In a just world, Trump would be sent off to jail after becoming a total laughingstock (I know, we’re halfway there!), while the family properties were frantically sold off and the evil offspring suddenly decide to spend the season in Russia.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    And one of the Senator assholes asked Comey if anyone had ever gone to jail for “hoping.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycbgHM1mI0k

    • Msgr_MΩment

      United States v Springfield, 1964.
      That’s the one where she got locked up next to that Son of a Preacher Man, right?

      • yyyaz

        Excellent memory.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I sure hope so!
      I pretty much hope for Trump to go to jail every single day.

  • Blackest Noobs

    dumbfucks…..Bubba Clinton got impeached over the definition of “IS.”

    also isn’t Trump’s current lawyer aware that Trump doesn’t pay his lawyers? or that other lawyers that worked with Trump refuse to be in a room with Trump alone.

    let that be a lesson to us all, never be in the room alone with a Trump.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Trump’s lawyer’s been with him for years and is described as a pitbull. Based in New York, I imagine he has an interesting collection department for those slow pays headed by one Sammy D. Bull.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “6. LORDY James Comey hopes Trump has tapes of their conversations.”

    Pretty sure Trump was referring to the recordings Putin gets of everything that Trump does.

    • Randy Riddle

      You know that when the Predisent and his cronies get out of office, the FBI, CIA and Secret Service will be going over the White House with a fine-toothed comb looking for Rooskie bugs.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s been over two hundred years since the Canucks last fumigated.

        • Three Finger Salute

          “Because it’s 1812”

          • That would probably be Pierre possessing Justin.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Justin on his own would target the WH with… a Care Bear Stare?

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Somebody call Fareed: Drumpf truly became Predisent today.

  • Randy Riddle

    So … John McCain and the Predisent’s lawyer were getting high on the same batch of brown acid this morning behind the Capitol building?

  • AJ Milne

    Persons explaining that the _classic_, sole precedent for impeachment is, in fact, a really rather less blatant and egregious species of the same chicanery, should probably, as a matter of protocol, spell that ‘predecent’ from hereon in.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Marc Kasowitz should also mention that on the way to the hearing, Comey stepped on a crack, so his mom’s back is broken. Also it’s opposite day. And nobody said “Simon says” first.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Where were Comey’s fingers and were they crossed?

  • Ryan Denniston

    All yall remember, all Paul Ryan needs is a hand that can sign a document and a Senate that can pass a piece of shit under dubious reconciliation intentions. Until that changes, nothing. Changes.

    • Randy Riddle

      Either that or the nuclear button is pressed, whichever comes first.

      • Ryan Denniston

        True. Come to think of it, Trump Twitter is eerily quiet…

        • Major_Major_Major

          He dropped his phone in the terlet agin?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Accidentally tossed out the window of Air Force One yesterday en route to Cincinnati.

          • MizzMazz

            One of my old loves was a maintenance worker at a fairly large apartment complex. He said most of the terlet calls were cell phones or toy cars in the terlet.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Donald Jr. took up the slack.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Qatar…..he dealt it, he smelt it….

    • Persistent Demme

      So true.
      Sad, but true.

    • Lulu Mac

      Actually, all he needs is articles of impeachment against Trump and Pence and he becomes President. Which begs the question: what the hell do they have on him?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        On Pence? On Ryan?

        • Lulu Mac

          On Ryan. He clearly couldn’t stand Trump during the campaign and he has more than enough ammo to get him and probably Pence too. Just makes me a little tinfoil-hattish about what kind of dirt they have on Ryan to turn him into such a complacent little puppy dog now.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            He also took $ from Mother Russia.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Considering all the foreign money that flooded into the campaigns thanks to Citizens United, they’ve probably got a lot on him. These guys never met a check they didn’t like.

    • kaydenpat

      And McConnell is running full steam ahead with passing Trump Care in the Senate. Those of you in red states need to call and pester your Senators.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      If that Senate senses the winds of change, nothing can make them agree to a piece of shit…

    • Shanzgood

      Didn’t Ryan get recorded saying he thought Trump was on Putin’s payroll “but shhhh, don’t say anything. We’re family!”?

      • Lambsendbeds

        🎶 We are FAMILY! I got all my cronies with me!🎶

        • Shanzgood

          Seriously, though. Wouldn’t that also be obstruction? He has information confirming collusion and deliberately keeps it quiet? And wasn’t one of the questions to Comey today about a “duty to report”? Ok, Comey said he wasn’t sure there was a LEGAL duty, but still.

          GAAAAH!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh, and one more thing. Fuck Alex Jones with a white hot pitchfork. It’s Happy Hour, bitches!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Jesus, happy hour now? I wrecked all my stamina playing wingnut bingo and drinking to the word email during testimony.

      • Lulu Mac

        I’m surprised you’re still upright after McCain’s questioning…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Vote! Vote! Vote!………………….and………….that………………..vote!……

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Damn, guy. Abasing yourself and destroying whatever professional reputation you have is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He knows enough to get it over quickly enough so that the taint of this precedency doesn’t follow him.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Does the Predisent’s taint have room enough for him and Cohen?

  • Major_Major_Major

    The 64000 Amero question tonight will be which of the right wing brain trust can bend the language, any language, to come up with a definition of Predisent?

    • Joe Beese

      The Predisent and a select few other people knew exactly what he meant.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        *covfefe* “Bullshit!” *covfefe*

    • Ryan Denniston

      Well, in the original Klingon, it was Covfefe,

      • tomamitai

        I thought it was Raktajino?

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        It’s SPELLED “Covfefe” but it’s pronounced “Predisent” (LUCKS-yure-ee Yaht). It’s Vogon, originally, which a lot of people don’t know.

        • Lambsendbeds

          I thought it was pronounced “Throat-Wobbler Mangrove”.

      • Werewolf

        Orcish.

  • Joe Beese

    Sorry, Senator, you’ve been bumped for a southern regional director.

    https://twitter.com/axios/status/872910416648839168

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s lovely watching the door hit him where the good Lord split ‘im.

    • kaydenpat

      When the most horrible people in the world can’t stand you …

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      “Why am I persecuted here?”

      https://youtu.be/EbTcHpPDCu8

      • yyyaz

        Even the True Believers™ can’t stand his eminently punchable *face.*

  • La forza del resistino

    To be fair, I believe the letter was meant to open with ‘I am Marc Kasowitz, Pepsodent Trump’s personal lawyer.’ Donald at least has pearly whites

  • baconzgood

    COMEYS TESTIMONY TODAY: (TRANSLATION BY BACONZGOOD)

    Don’t play your reality show shit here. I’m the director of the freaking F.B.EYE. I wrote the book on playing petty office politics. I’M THE GODDAMMIT DIRECTOR OF THE AGENCY FOUNDED BY HOOVER! That’s the Mt. Everest of back room deals and trying to ruin others careers…we got offices for that kinda stuff. Like goddam people being paid to ruin careers. You entered a world of hirtin’ donny”

    *mic drop*

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • Skaarphy

      … not to mention an orange skin tone.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        That was a. . . wait for it. . preexisting condition.

    • Ryan Denniston

      “That’s bone. And the lettering is something called Cillian Braille”

  • ltmcdies

    in other news…https://twitter.com/cnni/status/872922593426378752

    and by the way CNN…it’s not a hung parliament…its a minority…fuck a duck you’re god damn news org.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “Hey, Parliament. You look hung, big boy.”

      • That’s just the clock tower.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Cock tower*

          You know, because, um, a rooster crows at tea time, right?

          • Probably. And according to John Barrowman, at his in law’s in the conservatory, there is a lot of crowing about cock at tea time

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Oooo. John Barrowman. I do wish he played for my team. Or at least had the fluid sexuality of his Captain “I’ll lay anything at least once, twice if I like it” Jack on Torchwood. He’s dreamy.

          • And so stupidly charming too.

      • Three Finger Salute

        That’s Canada, not Britain :)

        • ltmcdies

          we’re both parliaments…what do the brits do different…

          • Three Finger Salute

            I was referring to the “you look hung, big boy” joke.

            Trudeau, not (eeesh) May.

          • ltmcdies

            oh I get it….my bad…

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I think that was more a statement on “hung” than “Parliament.” Come for the politics, stay for the dick jokes.

          • ltmcdies

            of course ..you’re right…forgot where I was a second…I all better now

      • Proud Liberal

        It doesn’t look like any party will get to 326.

    • Michael R
    • kaydenpat

      Thought Corbyn was going to get creamed, according to many pundits.

      • That was before May started getting too cocky and let her fascist out to play

      • Lambsendbeds

        Have we learned NOTHING from November 2016? The pundits and pollsters do not know fuck all.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Knowing fuck all isn’t actually in their job descriptions.

  • kaydenpat

    Trump is on record for having fired Comey BECAUSE of the Russian investigation. How much more clearer a case of obstructionism do we need?

    • Randy Riddle

      He hasn’t shot anyone on 5th avenue yet.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Has SVU been dispatched to any of the other streets in NYC?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        But his numbers are still going down….

        • Three Finger Salute

          Talk about a ticking time bomb. When his polling reaches 0 he’ll push the red button at last — and not the one that summons his servant to bring 2-liter soda bottles and super-size fried chicken buckets. Well, OK, it’ll do that first so he can nosh on junk food while the world burns.

      • Proud Liberal

        Give him time. The more his poll numbers drop, the more likely he will go crazier.

      • cmd resistor

        Because he is afraid to go there.

    • Proud Liberal

      Yes, the actual firing IS the obstruction!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Yes, but do you know the meaning of “is”?….

        • Proud Liberal

          I do, but apparently the Senate Intelligence Committee doesn’t.

    • Joe Beese

      Things the President says in television interviews does not count as legally admissible testimony!

  • Red Bird Ω

    Spell check is for liberals.

    • Randy Riddle

      COVFEFE LIBELZ!!!!

    • peteywheats

      Libruls.

    • Truck Fump

      Spelling has a liberal bias.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • beavertank

    Predisent Trump.

    #notmypredisent

    • TJ Barke

      #notactuallypresident

      • beavertank

        *predisent

  • Le Covfefe Royal

    I got this, Mishter Predisent. I only had tee martoonies at lunch. *hic*

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    May loses Majority according exit polls. Bless.

  • Thiazin Red

    Watching Twin Peaks the Return, my favorite scene so far is the one with Frank and the green tea latte. Its got some great non-verbal acting from the guy who plays Frank. The surprise at really liking the latte, still being kind of angry about having his coffee stolen, being kind of unsure about whether he should admit to liking it. Getting that kind of thing out of actors is something Lynch has a real gift for.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    See, Toomush Junior and I listened to this as we floated down the Black River, drinking Coronnas (with lime slices, of course) and the whole thing was part of a lovely afternoon as we commented on the kinds of fools who build castles on the river so they can come here for two weeks in the summer and think they have an investment….

    • BosGrl

      That sounds like a lovely day…

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s twoo, it’s twoo!…Now for the Mount Gay and get set for trumptwittering the light fantastic!…

    • TheBoatDude

      Limes are important: Must fend off scurvy.

  • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly
    • Ryan Denniston

      In Trump America, all weeks are wrong weeks to stop drinking.

    • Three Finger Salute

      That’s actually the scene where he sniffs glue.

    • Le Covfefe Royal

      Lloyd Bridges es mas macho

      • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

        I’m likely dating myself, but remember Sea Hunt?

        • Three Finger Salute

          I thought Sea Hunt was a word used to describe Ann Coulter or Kellyanne Conway…

          • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

            skeletora or twitty conway?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Twitty Conway! I love that one.

          • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

            I thought of that yesterday and you gave me an opening.

          • Lambsendbeds

            That’s spelled “S E A H A G”.
            You’re welcome.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I loved Sea Hunt.

  • BosGrl
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, joy – the Wall Street gambling houses are back open for business. Good thing we have someone running the country who’s never bankrupted a casino.
      Oh, wait.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Yeah, but not to worry, his Treasury secretary is all over it…

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Pretty sure that passed the House today. Let’s hope the Senate is smarter than that. Oh who am I kidding? I just need to get used to drinking a lot more than any human should.

      • Lambsendbeds

        I believe that the Senate can’t repeal Dodd-Franks through reconciliation, which means they need 60 votes, which they will never get.

    • Joe Beese

      Oh, and the Senate is poised to pass its version of Trumpcare too.

      What a country!

      • pussygrabber in chief

        I heard “What a country!” in Dr. Zoidberg’s voice.

    • La forza del resistino

      governing as a 3 card monte game.

  • dshwa

    Donnie seems particularly obsessed with the hookers part of the Steele Dossier. I wonder if there’s a clause in the pre-nup with Melania about hookers. It would be irresponsible not to speculate…

    • Ryan Denniston

      Maybe they could arrange a quid pro quo?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You can be certain that Melania will never leave him pee about this ever again.

      Peace! I meant Peace!

      • Paul

        Be more believable if you said ” be, I meant be”. Remedial classes are available at Trump University. Tommy Flanagan, The Pathological Liar of SNL fame, is dean.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Until he accuses Obama or Hillary of consorting with Russian Pee Hookers. . .

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    The reality here is that Comey has always been playing on a level
    someone like the trumpenator can’t possibly comprehend. He lack the
    nuance to understand the civil servant mindset. Hell, I barely
    understand it and I come from a family of civil servants.

    A brutal capitalist like der drumpenster will never understand people who
    aren’t fucking mercenaries. He tried to buy the man, only Comey wasn’t
    selling. He thought he could thug his way around the FBI because that’s
    how this sad fuck has lived his entire life.

    He’s a slumlord who relishes at burning ants with a magnifying glass. A
    completely flat minded moron. He has no concept of anything bigger than
    his goldfish mind and no curiosity at all.

    That’s who we’re dealing with here, a man with absolutely no curiosity who, by his
    own admission, has not changed since he was six years old. This is an
    unevolved, simple little man. This is Biff Fucking Tannen.

    • cmd resistor

      I still like Biff better.

  • msanthrope

    I’m just a simple country hyper-chicken lawyer lady, but I’m pretty sure there’s no “president – FBI director privilege.” Have to check the books, though, it’s been a while since I law schooled.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Doesn’t matter. When the president does something, it’s not illegal.

    • msanthropesmr

      you go honey!

      • TJ Barke

        A futurama reference? You chose well.

        • msanthropesmr

          I chose?

          • yyyaz

            That is what they want you to think.

          • BeachBum

            Lordy, oh yeah they do !

          • TJ Barke

            She chose? Whatever. Your Mrs. is great.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Not to mention that even if there were a privilege, it tends to get waived when you Tweet about the substance of the meetings for all to see.

      • msanthrope

        No waiver! No waiver! You’re the waiver!

      • NellCote71

        Ya think?

    • La forza del resistino

      J. Edgar just had pictures on all the earlier preznits,

      • Three Finger Salute

        And crude, early Photoshops of himself in the garb of the First Ladies.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Unclassified recollections are not protected… ever.

    • BeachBum

      I’m just a simple city regular-chicken cookin’ gentleman, but I’m pretty sure you’re right.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How many thighs does a hyper-chicken have?

      /asking for a Colonel friend

  • BeachBum

    Lordy, I wish CNN would tell us what/who did the “salacious” and stuff. Please splain it to those of us who missed it on our SATS. And Lordy !

  • canes_pugnaces

    I commend the fine writers of Wonkville for visiting the InfoWars Superfund site and bringing back some radioactive tires, dead birds, and the like… but why? Did you wear special Occam’s hazmat suits?

    • SweetDeeKat

      Brave, brave souls.

  • cmd resistor

    So, if you put Dijon mustard on a nothingburger, is that how you turn it into a treasonburger?

    • Lulu Mac

      Nope, Russian dressing.

    • Anna Rompage

      A nothingburger is a patty made up of last weeks leftover GOP talking points, bound together with a hearty dash of fresh BS

    • Ryan Denniston

      Only if it involves the French.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Pardon me, would you have any Grey Putin?

    • BeachBum

      One man’s treason is another man’s treasure. Tomayto, tomahtoe. Potato, Russian vodka.

    • TJ Barke

      Ask Hannity.

  • Anna Rompage

    So am I mistaken, or did Trump’s lawyer just propose the idea of retroactive executive privilege, even after the admin came out an officially state they were not going to invoke executive privilege ?

    • Ryan Denniston

      It’s official. They’ve stolen Obama’s time machine.

    • Shanzgood

      Huh. Think you’re right.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That would explain why the guys yesterday didn’t want to answer any questions, in case executive privilege gets invoked later.

      • NellCote71

        Aha. Astute.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Any lawyer that Trump would keep on is the kind that says what his client wants to hear, not what they need to hear. In other words, a shitty lawyer.

  • Jenny

    Way to make an impression with the American public, with your client, “The Predisent.”

    Since Trump is just the predisent, does that mean Obama is still the actual President?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That’s unpredisented!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      For “the Base” it confirms that they don’t need no ‘riting and or book larnin’ to work for a big time businessman!!! Where can they sign up?!?

    • Ryan Denniston

      Predisent sure sounds an awful like precedent, which really means it’s all Obama’s fault really.

    • NellCote71

      Yaa-yus!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Has anybody else gotten anything done today? I just made my bed a half-hour ago. Even the dogs are like, “Dude. That’s why your ass has its own area code.”

    • Proud Liberal

      LOL!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I managed to have several meetings and get some letters done. But I was away from media this morning so I did not see much in real time.

    • I have been at work all day like a good dodo. I read the liveblog on my lunch break

    • Ryan Denniston

      Beers have been drunk. Comments have been made. Regrets have been accumulated.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Rivers have been floated, beers have been drunk while radios played….my soul cries out for the Senate to get yesterdays’ four assholes behind closed doors and put them to The Question…..

      • Marion in Savannah

        Vodka has been consumed. A small snake was rescued from the cats in the back yard. A bit more vodka was deemed necessary. Planning has started regarding what will be for dessert. Dinner will be something EXTREMELY simple because vodka…

        • Three Finger Salute

          Passive voice has been used.

        • Lambsendbeds

          Lucky Charms with…vodka?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Or gin… Depends on personal preference. Lucky Charms may call for the more herbal flavor of gin.

          • Rasilom

            No no no for Lucky Charms you use whiskey. Vodka is for Cherrios.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Je ne regrette rien.

      • TheBoatDude

        Solid day.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Been playing phone-and-email tag with people all day, wondering where the hell my food stamps are and is somebody going to send me a little check? I hate days like this.

      • Three Finger Salute

        It’s beginning. The congresscritters are flushing out the poors.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I caught whatever Walnuts has through the teevee and just woke from a three hour nap.

    • Jenny

      I got bitched at for making the right decision? Does that count?

      • TheBoatDude

        That happens sometimes…

    • Persistent Demme

      Wait.
      You made your bed?

    • ltmcdies

      Not much…..it’s been an internet day so far…

    • BeachBum

      I ate a brunch. Ummm, thatz it.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      I managed to have one call with an opposing counsel where we both agreed that our clients are fucked up but that we’ll have to continue playing stupid games for the foreseeable future. Accomplishment? Considering I felt like I had taken a cocktail of LSD & XTC listening to Walnutz’s questioning, I’m calling it a win.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I met with my therapist, observed some river otters, bought cat food ( 2 cases…six cats will make you do that), went to Target for this and that, went home for lunch, and am on Wonkette before my appointment with my psychiatrist. Well, at least I should be therapied out by the end of the day. Too bad that’s not the same as “cured”. :-(

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’m retired. My days consist entirely of not getting anything done. My cats approve 100%.

    • Dinz6315

      It’s a week of medical appointments at Dartmouth, so the old lad and I listened on the radio on the way home. We heard Walnutz’s bit. Looked at each other and just shook our heads.

      Good news is I don’t have COPD. As a nurse I can’t tell you how relieved I am…

      Bad news is at any given time about half my stomach might be in my chest cavity, where it definitely does not belong.

      Better news is, the surgeon is going to fix it and it may solve a multitude of problems.

  • baconzgood

    I don’t know if anyone else is starting to think this, but Comey plays 3D chess with go pieces. He’s playing way past this testimony. I’m thinking he’s planing on going into a high elected office. Senator? Vice President.

    Personally I don’t like him. He’s slippery little twerp but he can plan ahead like a Bene Gesserit Mother.

    • jaspersdad

      I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a few more tricks up his sleeve. Just giving the GOP some rope.

    • TJ Barke

      I hope he doesn’t know Prana Bindu…

      • baconzgood

        Our nerds are showing.

        • Lambsendbeds

          That’s what underwear is for, Baconz!

      • Werewolf

        Weirding Way!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    From Dan Rather:

    There are many things you can say about former FBI Director James Comey, but one thing is certain: he is a master storyteller.

    The narrative that he weaved today in his opening statement and in
    fielding questions from the Senate panel, was as gripping as it was
    deeply disturbing. It could have been the pitch for a Hollywood film,
    but sadly it is all too real. Once Donald Trump could control the news
    cycle. No longer.

    As a journalist, there are some moments when
    stories explode (often literally) with the unexpectedness of breaking
    news – a terrorist attack, an assassination, a tsunami or earthquake.
    There are others that build, sometimes very slowly, rising from small
    articles buried in the back of the newspaper to headlines blaring across
    the front page. They are often ones that require a lot of investigative
    reporting – like Watergate, or that take time to reach a consensus on
    their seriousness, like climate change. This Russia story is moving with
    the speed of breaking news, but it is fueled by all the reporting and
    seriousness of the most important inflection points of history. It is
    unlike anything I have ever seen – a story that will reverberate across
    the ages.

    Since the time of the ancients who gathered around
    fires, storytelling is the way we best share information as a species.
    “Tell me a story,” was the mantra at CBS News when I was coming up. And
    it was true. You could have all the facts, but if you could make it
    connect through a story then you could have a much bigger effect.

    That is what James Comey did today. He wrestled the narrative to his
    vantage point. He was clear. Direct. Precise. But this is not the end of
    the story. President Trump has many defenders, as shown by several of
    the questions by the Republican senators today. However in the end, this
    story is beyond their or the President’s control. And it is not a hard
    one to grasp. What was the President hiding and did he obstruct justice?
    The fate of his Administration and the future of our nation hangs in
    the balance.

    Do you think the testimony today will change the direction we have been going up until now?

    • Proud Liberal

      He didn’t even make the damn statement today. It would have been better if he had.

    • Thiazin Red

      I suppose you have to be good at that kind of thing for intelligence work.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yep. Creating stories out of apparently-unconnected bits of info is their job.

    • BosGrl

      And this is why Rachel does her long A block (“tell me a story” along with historical context) and why Dan Rather loves her.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, I love her, too……

        • Marion in Savannah

          Don’t we all? I are an old straight broad and I’d jump her bones in a New York minute…

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        My parents hate that about Rachel. They’re librulz, but they’re olds. “Get to the point!” they yell, while I shush them and say, “Let the pretty lady talk the big, smart words.”

        • My friends keep asking how i fell behind on my non-news TV shows after January…none of them understand when i just say “Rachel”

          • Three Finger Salute

            They think you mean Friends reruns.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Thanks. Now I has an ear worm from the Beverly Hillbillies theme song
      “let me tell you a story about a loser named Trump”…

  • mancityRed6

    if by leaking his unclassified memos, Comey leaked “…privileged communications with the President…”, then that means the memos are correct, doesn’t it?

    also, they gave out a little bit of the rebuttal in the small news portion of the local talk radio. they even managed to correct them. they said that the story about the memo ran before the “tapes” tweet, but it wasn’t

  • kaydenpat
    • TJ Barke

      Well, I hope so, cuz that’s how long it’s felt like he’s been president.

      • We’ve had a long 10 years these past 5 months

        • Three Finger Salute

          Our long national GOP nightmare began with Reagan in 1980 and hasn’t let up in 37 years. Don’t forget that both Clinton and Obama had to deal with the obstructionists in Congress who tried to sabotage everything they ever wanted to do — and in some cases were successful. To the point where they’re perfectly content to allow an insecure, temperamental dementia patient literally destroy the planet and kill millions of people on it, just so they can achieve their sick goal of crushing the undesirables and installing a religious theocracy once and for all — or have everyone die trying.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. Good one.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    David Frum: Comey’s candidly self-critical answers about reluctance say No to a president exactly demonstrates the risk to free institutions from Trump

    I’m going to guess just the opposite might start to happen now that someone like Comey was put off guard–that more people Trump interacts with from career government folks to other heads of state will simply ignore him at best and challenge him at even bester.

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/6/8/15762642/comey-testimony-trump-hearing

    • ltmcdies

      simple really…they were all far to used to having an adult in the White House who knew shit works.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Of course, it means a diminution of the office and the prestige of our entire nation in the world. It also means that fucker Putin won.

        • Three Finger Salute

          “When we are gone, you will have no greater enemy than yourselves.” -Gorbachev

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Thanks, Obama!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Who would ever agree to be alone in a room with him after this. I wouldn’t, even if I was Melania. Especially if I was Melania.

  • Ilgattomorte

    I don’t know if you can use the words “good” or “bad” about Trump’s lawyer, but he’s definitely Trump’s lawyer, much in the same way Harold Bornstein is definitely Trump’s doctor. The grammar, the lies, the cherry picking, the exaggeration, all scream TRUMP!.

    It wouldn’t surprise me to find that Kasowitz was a proud graduate of Trump University. Who could forget Trump University?

    Cheer, cheer cheer for old Trump U
    Wake up and pay up or we will sue.
    What though the bills be great or small
    Old Trump U collects them all!

    Go…ooooh Fighting Douchebags!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I have some thinks:
    1) Innocent people don’t obstruct justice, because there’s no reason for them to. That’s why people who didn’t rape someone will give DNA samples.
    2) Having so much invested in sticking it to liberals, or whatever your motive is, that you can’t even admit that letting the Russians choose our president is a BAD THING makes you the opposite of a patriotic American.
    3) If you’re sitting on a committee where someone tells you that he wrote down interactions with the “president” because he knew the guy would lie about it, FOLLOW UP ON THAT. Don’t go back to your talking point/question/obfuscation.
    4) Can somebody please explain to Dolt 45 that he should try, for once, to wait until he thoroughly understands a thing before he meddles in it, since the impeachment seems like it may be going to take a little longer?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Regarding #4 — I don’t think is humanly possible to explain things to Dolt 45. (And I am going to steal that. So sue me!)

    • jesterpunk

      For number 3, when that persons own lawyers have testified in court under oath that that person is a fucking liar and they had to meet with him in pairs and take notes after it then that person is a lying sack of shit and you should do something about it.

      https://www.salon.com/2016/10/07/even-donald-trumps-lawyers-think-hes-a-habitual-liar/

      • YoBunnyBunny

        But Hillary was UNTRUSTWORTHY1!1!1!!!!!

        • jesterpunk

          IKR?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      For No 1, I can imagine some scenarios where an innocent person, or let’s say a naive person, could be charged with obstructing justice. I know an individual who was charged- she was asked to take a file home for the night by her supervisor, but not told why. All those lawyers in the Senate know that ignorance or inexperience is no excuse.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Good list, except for #1: Innocent people sometimes obstruct justice to protect a friend or loved one. They often get arrested for this as an “accessory.” Trump better watch out on this point.

  • Marion in Savannah

    My main take away from today (and yesterday also too…) is that my new hero is Angus King. And, as a pure bonus since I are A Old, I think he’s a hottie.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Also too, trump probably scheduled his date with Comey for Valentines Day just to fuck with Comey.

  • Ezio
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Okay, now the more nuanced question: What will Trump be impeached for?
    http://www.paddypower.com/bet/politics/other-politics/donald-trump?ev_oc_grp_ids=2944322

    • I want it to be pee hookers because, hilarious.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Who among has not slipped on hooker pee?

        • Marion in Savannah

          Um, me…

          • Raan

            Yet.

        • Major_Major_Major

          The real dichotomy: are you pro- or anti- asparagus?

      • NellCote71

        I want this so bad.

    • Marion in Savannah

      AOT,K.

    • Raan

      My money’s on obstruction of justice.

      Especially if they end up finding like seventeen minutes missing from his Comey tapes.

      • Lulu Mac

        ^ This. Comey is a Smart Lawyer Man. As a Smart Lawyer Man, he knows that his “recorded recollection” that was drafted so as to be unclassified is admissible hearsay and therefore Exhibit A. In a credibility contest, Trump has nothing.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Except his (or the Russians’) tapes.

          Yeah, I guess he’s got nothin’.

        • Raan

          If he tries to argue about credibility, he’ll have his balls exposed on stream.

    • Joe Beese

      Money laundering.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Barbaric barber practices.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The only crime on the books. Obstruction of Republican re-election efforts.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      It doesn’t really matter what the charge is. In politics what you did wrong doesn’t count. All that counts is that you got caught. Even then it often doesn’t count, otherwise how do you explain Senator Vitter getting reelected after being caught with hookers?

      If he has to testify and he lies under oath, then they get him on Perjury too.

  • mancityRed6

    are there any stories about that Sessions thing Comey hinted at? I haven’t seen anyone even talk about it outside of here.

  • Raan

    And in everywhere else news, British elections today! Exit polls predict that the Conservative Party will lose just enough seats to lose their majority.

    • La forza del resistino

      And they’ll blame Ariana Grande for her compassion.

  • Indiepalin

    Next: John McCain introduces legislation mandating that Major League Baseball games start at 6 a.m.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Early Bird Special Act.

  • Trump leaks highly classified intel to Russians.
    Trump: “It’s legal! I have every right!”
    Comey tells Congress what Trump whispered to him in the White House.
    Trump: “How dare he disclose privileged information!”

    • jesterpunk

      That was just pillow talk.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    So, let’s see if I’ve got this straight from the limited amount of the hearing I was able to watch.

    1. All the Republicans did their damnedest to make the case that Trump did not do anything that could be construed as wrong, and Comey should agree with them on that statement.

    2. All the Democrats did their damnedest to make the case that Trump obstructed justice and has surrounded himself with fucking traitors, and Comey pretty much agreed with that assessment.

    3. Tom Cotton is a fucking moran. Whatever respect I had for Harvard is definitely in the shitter now if they thought he was their kind of guy.

    • OutOfOrbit

      People don’t “earn” Harvard diplomas, they BUY them.

    • La forza del resistino

      Tom Cotton attended the Polyester Harvard College.

    • Persistent Demme

      4. Republicans did their damnedest to make this about Hillary’s emails, (they must miss her SO MUCH!), not the Liar-in-chief.
      And yes, Tom Cotton is a fucking moran, isn’t he?

    • nightmoth

      Tom Cottonmouth Moccasin makes morans look good.

  • baconzgood
    • Major_Major_Major

      I’m conflicted on this one. On the one hand I despise the Pens and Crosby in particular. On the other hand, Subbhan, who is a great guy off ice,but is a better diver than Louganis

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pittsburgh is represented by a Canadian and a Russian, but not a Russianpeehookerophile.

  • Mr. Lordyfish

    Even Fox is saying it looks bad when your spokesperson has to say the president isn’t a liar.

  • Thiazin Red

    They turned on the AC in my building and its god damned freezing in here. Its 65 outside, we don’t need the AC on.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I live in the SF Bay Area. What is this AC of which you speak?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Don’t start with me… Don’t make me come out there and dump a yoooge truckload of our summer weather all over your ass…

        • Lambsendbeds

          Hey – sometimes I wish we had AC in our homes. My little fan doesn’t keep any of us truly cool. Of course, here we all drop dead when it gets to be in the 90s.

      • Persistent Demme

        Ha, ha!
        YESTERDAY, there was a guy in a down jacket checking in at my physical therapist’s office in SF.
        (We have clouds and rain today!)

    • Persistent Demme

      When I was a teenager, I had a summer job at the Air Force base Pass and I.D. Office.
      We were freezing when a cold snap hit in July.
      I was told, “No heat until October!” by the Master Sgt. in charge.
      That’s when I learned to drink coffee.

      • Thiazin Red

        The building here is on a schedule like that too. It was the same way in the library I worked in during college. If there was a heat wave in April it would be 95 degrees in there. If it was cold in September or October, you needed to wear your winter coat inside.

        • Lefty Wright

          I had a different problem years ago. Started a job located in a five story building in January. They updated the heating/cooling in February with computer controls. Next day, when I came in, a lot of the windows were open (having windows that open may show how old the building was). I thought maybe there had been a fire, but when I got inside it was like 90 degrees. In the summer, when it regularly topped 90, it was 60 or less inside. It took a year to fix this money saving update.

    • Raan

      I WILL DROWN YOU WITH OUR AIR.

    • nightmoth

      Gotta keep driving that climate change!

  • ltmcdies
    • La forza del resistino

      that’s a cheesy shot Nate.

      • Marion in Savannah

        But sorta minimally clever. That’s pretty much all that poor Nate has left after the last election, poor sod.

        • Persistent Demme

          I remember how panicked and disheveled he looked that night.
          That’s when I started to feel afraid.
          Poor man, indeed.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        but he’s responding to Weigel, who actually published an article in the Washington Post about how “the left” wants us to stop talking about Russia, quoting such prominent liberal elected officials as Rosann DeMoro, Jill Stein, Oliver Stone, “award-winning journalist with bylines at the Nation and Salon” Max Blumenthal, and this familiar assault victim:

        Michael Tracey, a reporter for the Young Turks news network who had Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) push past him after he asked skeptical Russia questions, asked why Democrats were so satisfied to keep searching for a smoking gun that never appears.

        “This whole issue has been characterized from this lurching, ramping up of expectations that the smoking gun will be discovered imminently,” said Tracey. “That’s how this story has played out. It’s sort of monomaniacal.”

        • nightmoth

          Oh, yeah, I ALWAYS ask myself “what would Oliver Stone or Jill Stein do?” before I open my mouth.

          • SadDemInTex

            Before you open your mouth to vomit?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Wembsleydalepates!

    • Le Covfefe Royal

      It’s a rotten borough

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Ugh. I graduated from HS in Waukesha, Wisconsin. It’s a Republican stronghold craphole. I mean, Gov. Scott Walker announced his prez bid there (remember that?? We were so young and naive and full of hope then…)
      My mum still lives there so I have to go back, and tons of those arseholes still have up their Johnson for Senate and Trump signs. They’re proud to vote against their interests. Then there’s the guy whose house I drive past who has a sign attached to his streetside mailbox touting infowars.
      Fuck that town.

  • Joe Beese

    At one point, Comey was asked, “Do you believe Donald Trump colluded with Russia?” His response: “It’s a question I don’t think I should answer in an open setting.”

    We should pause to consider how extraordinary this is. A man who until last month sat atop the investigation into Russia’s meddling in our election cannot publicly confirm that the president of the United States was not conspiring against American democracy.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/06/08/the_comey_hearing_was_extraordinary.html

    • Mr. Lordyfish

      IK,R? That closed session must have been a hoot today.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        That’s when McCain finally got to find out which team won after he nodded off.

  • Mr. Lordyfish

    While McCain napped on the couch, a staffer typed up and released the excuse about staying up late.

  • Ezio
  • Jamoche
    • Joe Beese

      And now he’s threatening men. Now it’s serious!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Don’t give the alt-reich any ammo. For a group that clams to hate gay people, they sure do take delight in forcible prison sex. They’re probably gloating that “Jimmy Cumstain got RAPED!!!111! LOLOL” because rape jokes are just how they roll. I guess you might as well call it Raperolling. Wow, we’ve really gone to a bad place in just the past 10 years.

      • Claire

        I don’t think this is an issue women should keep quiet about because it might give the alt-right new fodder for their endless rape jokes, as if they wouldn’t come up with it if we didn’t say anything.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “…idiot Missouri Republican Senator Roy Blunt…” Nice touch, Evan, thanks, but I would have put it in all CAPS. This guy is famous in Missouri for saying “I was the first Blunt ever elected to anything” to which the only appropriate response is “And now we know why.” He is also known for saying “I’m very much inclined to be a next-chapter guy instead of a last-chapter guy” which is glaringly obvious. Also “You are more committed to things that you give money to – whether it is a church or a politician” and I’m not going to touch that one with a 10-foot pole as I am already annoyed today.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I didn’t know Republicans read any chapters at all.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Me neither. They certainly don’t read the bills they vote on.

        • Three Finger Salute

          They just look at the letterhead to see if it’s sponsored by one of the ALEC members. And I don’t mean Baldwin brothers.

      • Jamoche

        The only one they know is Chapter 11.

        • Three Finger Salute

          That’s the bigliest one.

        • NellCote71

          And 2 Corinthians.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I thought it was Corinthians Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo. The last one in the trilogy is Corinthians 33 1/3: The Final Insult.

  • Michael R
    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m a smart person, and I guarantee you he ways a LOT more than me. Maybe even close to three of me. So that clearly makes him triple extra S-M-R-T.

  • bookish

    The Atlantic: Trump’s unpredictability and improvisational style deprives his experts of their ability to help him.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/06/trump-staff/529647/?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-060817

    A number of Donald Trump’s supporters told me during the campaign they had faith that he would be a good president because he would be helped by the experts around him. But the president’s improvisation saps experts of their key skill: pattern recognition. Chess masters don’t evaluate all the possible moves. They know how to discard 98 percent of the ones they could make and then focus on the best choice of the remaining lot. That’s the way expertise works in other fields too: Wise practitioners recognize familiar patterns and put their creativity, improvisation, and skill toward the marginal cases.

    • Ryan Denniston

      And Donnie is still playing at Checkers level. And by Checkers I mean to drag Nixon into this.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Checkers? Try tic-tac-toe. With only four squares.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Tic-tac-toe. Using real Tic Tacs.

    • Marion in Savannah

      [snerk] My broker is a Republican who’s struggling mightily at this point. When Mr. MinS and I were howling and wringing our hands over the election he was all “but he’ll surround himself with good, responsible people.” Poor little bastard now looks more and more frantic…

    • Miles Monroe

      “Improvisational style” seems a tad generous … “Gut reflex spasms”, maybe?

  • Mr. Lordyfish

    This is the prefect time not to have a communications director.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Marion in Savannah

      It was so sweet that he had a front-and-center seat for this!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Payback for Donnie’s stunt at the debate

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nah. Payback would be all the women suing him being invited to the SOTU.

  • BeachBum

    Republicans are saying Comey didn’t prove actual treason for Trump so a win for them.
    Could the bar get any lower ?

    • Stulexington

      Yes, if he manages to last longer than Nixon they’ll cheer that as a victory too.

    • ltmcdies

      yah they’re still trying that “well no vote was switiched because …Russia” tack as if anyone was saying that votes were switched.
      that’s so last November

  • aktlib101

    I know, a little wishful thinking, but let’s keep hopes alive:
    “Comey’s testimony shows: the impeachment machine is warming up”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jun/08/james-comey-testimony-impeachment-machine-trump
    “James Comey wants you to know a few things. First and foremost, that Donald Trump is a liar. Second, that Russia attacked the United States during the 2016 election, and will do so again. Third, that you really shouldn’t trash the reputation of James Comey and the FBI without expecting some payback”

  • Bitter Scribe

    Why does that idiot lawyer keep referring to “privileged” conversations between Trump and Comey? Attention Dummy Esq.: Comey may be a lawyer, but he is not Donald Trump’s lawyer. Unlike you, he’s too smart to work directly for the guy. Conversations between the two of them are not covered by any sort of attorney-client privilege.

    Nor executive privilege, since that can only be invoked by a president in matters regarding the official duties of his office. Killing an investigation into someone he recently had to fire, because it might embarrass him, is not part of his official duties.

    • Stulexington

      I think 45 wrote most of it and forced his lawyer to release it to give it an air of authenticity. I’m pretty sure it’s trying to attach executive privilege where it most certainly can not be applied.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m with you except where I figure it’s way more likely Kushner or Bannon or Miller wrote it while 45 played with his desk toys.

    • Lulu Mac
    • shivaskeeper

      Presidential privilege. Any conversation with the President can become privileged if the President says it is. He’s trying to bank on ANY conversation with the President being privileged automatically.

      • Shibusa

        There’s an Op Ed on Fox Noise web site by Dershowitz saying Trump had right to call Comey off Flynn investigation, or any investigation, because he’s POTUS! (Oh and he says Comey is obviously mad so it is clouding his judgement.) WTF?

        • Bitter Scribe

          To quote Lawyers, Guns & Money: That’s like saying because he’s commander in chief of the armed forces, he can order the Army to shoot his political enemies.

        • shivaskeeper

          Yeah, no. He can’t do that.

    • shivaskeeper

      2nd reply. This whole presser wasn’t for any legal eagles or anyone with sense. It was to calm his supporters, muddy the waters some more, and give his enablers in the Admin and the Congress some talking points.

    • La forza del resistino

      By ‘privileged’ convos, he means he didn’t pay Donald for the privilege of speaking with him.

  • Joe Beese

    Looks like the Trump administration may be involved in some… MONKEY BUSINESS.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyGmUXvSHLE

    • La forza del resistino

      Yunno, you just can’t find leather jeans anymore.

  • delete your account probably

    The “Predisent’s” personal lawyer?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      You’re a close reader. That, or you’re sober. Good catch.

      • delete your account probably

        … The truth is I make typos like that all the time, so I’ve learned to spot them.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Oops

    https://twitter.com/chrisgeidner/status/872934106551783425

    Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
    James Comey better hope that there are no “tapes” of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press!

    • bookish

      Excellent.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Sorry for the sloppy posting job – still trying to figure out how to use my Obamapad

  • Michael R
  • Jamoche

    Ooh, feedback loops! I love feedback loops:
    https://twitter.com/RBReich/status/872920993282445312
    Also, thread

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Not so fast, Reich Two words.

      Robert

      Mueller

      • shivaskeeper

        Someone will still need to act on any information the Special Counsel presents. Impeachment is a purely political action and completely separate from any criminal charges.

        It could very well be that the House will ignore any evidence Robert Mueller presents in favor of doing nothing unless they have no other option, or hoping DJT resigns rather than face criminal charges. It could also very well be DJT will not resign in the face of potential criminal charges since he is under the impression, and has stated several times, he never loses in court.

        In any case this is all on the assumption that anything concrete comes out of the Special Counsel’s investigation.

      • Claire

        He has no authority to make House Republicans move on impeachment. He can do a lot of things, but he can’t force those proceedings to start.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So that is some lawyering! But it’s not good lawyering.></blockquote

    "You want good lawyering? Then pay in advance, asshole–I know your track record!”

    – Marc Kasowitz, probably

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/06/what-did-mike-pompeo-do/529599/?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-060817

    Reports that Trump asked intelligence chiefs to help shut down the investigation into Michael Flynn raise the question of whether the CIA director was asked to do the same, and how he reacted if he was.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Welp, time to stock up on even more popcorn…

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    I learned something interesting today. FDR and General Marshall wanted to open an immediate Second Front in 1942 to relieve pressure on the Soviet Union, then reeling under Nazi offensives. The plan? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Sledgehammer

    Operation Sledgehammer. Seize the French ports of Brest or Cherbourg, then build the beachhead until a Breakout into occupied France.

    The British objected, mostly on the grounds that only 2 American Divisions would be manned, trained, and ready for Sledgehammer, leaving the remaining 6 assault divisions to be British. Churchill also felt it was too early, the US Army too green, to make a forced entry into Festung Europa. Instead, the British plan Operation Gymnast, was expanded with American forces to become Operation Torch, the invasion of North Africa. Also, Sledgehammer would have required the Navy to simply hold what they had in the Pacific, with no resources to press an offensive against Imperial Japan.

    I think the Brits had it right, but what a thought to go in 1942. I am starting a Campaign Generator to wargame Mid-War engagements as Sledgehammer.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The Brits even had a theme song.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g93mz_eZ5N4

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I love that song. We danced to it in Junior High. :)

      • Ryan Denniston

        Open up your fruit cakes. Heh.

    • Marion in Savannah

      That’s fascinating. I’ll have to ask Mr. MinS (who’s MUCH more of a history buff than I) if he’s heard about this. Thanks!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It would have been a… poor decision, at the very least. Had the landings not been repulsed altogether the inevitable German counterattack would have smashed them. 8 divisions would have been nothing compared for the 60 formations the Germans had to throw at them, and it would have set back the invasion of Europe by probably years. The only beneficiary of Sledgehammer would have been Stalin, who likely would have seized all of Germany and probably a chunk of France in the bargain.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Oh, I agree. I love how aggressive it is, Marshall wanted it, and I can imagine Patton champing at the bit.

        But the Correlation of Forces would have been adverse, to say the least.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Hell, I even forgot to mention that by 1942, the Luftwaffe was still a formidable force, the battle of the Atlantic was in full swing, Germany’s armies were as strong as they would ever be, and the U.S. army wouldn’t have double digits of divisions til mid-1943. It wouldn’t have been a campaign, it would have been a one-sided slaughter.

          • hendenburg2

            Also, up until mid-1943, the Germans were able to decrypt the majority of Allied radio transmissions. It’s what allowed their U-Boat fleets to be so effective.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I can’t even imagine how you could seize the port and hold it. I agree with Churchill, and Torch left enough resources to attack Guadalcanal and Tulagi in 1942.

        • h4rr4r

          Look, look, champing at the bit used properly on the internet! Alert the media!

    • hendenburg2

      How are you going to get a body from the morgue in preparation for your eventual Operation Husky campaign?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Operation Mincemeat? :D That’s Patton’s problem.

        Right now I’m painting Afrika Korps for Mid War, and 101st Airborne for Normandy. I probably wont do Husky etc, with the lack of moneys I’m facing.

        • hendenburg2

          So I guess then that you probably won’t be doing anything for Operation Quicksilver either? Too bad. Inflatables are fun. Though the neighbors might have noise complaints.

    • shivaskeeper

      Sometimes plans are not good or realistic at all. Which is why there should always be more than one plan in the works.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    According to Huff Poo, the Brit election won’t give May her majority

    • Yr. Gma

      Fingers crossed.

    • Proud Liberal

      The mood has changed since Brexit and the election of DT.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Jaw. Dropped. bbc.com here I come!

  • RugzYaBurnt

    This is apropos of nothing Comey, but I got to pit cherries for Donna Rose last night at the WonkPicnic and I can die now!

    • Yr. Gma

      Is she as beautiful in person as she is in all her pictures?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        More so.

      • RugzYaBurnt

        Oh yes she is!

    • Marion in Savannah

      HEY — You hang on at least until you can vote in 2018!

      • RugzYaBurnt

        Assuming we all live that long!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pics or grrrrrrrrrrr!

      • RugzYaBurnt

        Intern Dominic took some pics, but I don’t know if he captured me acting as Donna Rose’s personal fruit attendant. All I can say is that she was covered in cherry juice & it was adorable!

  • ltmcdies

    OT…but of interest to those who shave their heads

    https://twitter.com/Evan_McMullin/status/872936327158910976

    • shivaskeeper

      Good thing I’m not going to Mozambique any time soon then. For the record, there is no gold in my head, so don’t try it here either.

      • natoslug

        I keep nothing whatsoever in my head, so it would be highly disappointing to any would-be gold-diggers.

  • Covfefe

    If Comey had testified Trump told him to abort the Flynn investigation, we would have a viable swearing contest. But Comey didn’t say that. He used what he said were the precise words Donald used, giving Donald the full benefit of the ambiguity and. allowing each of us to draw our own conclusions. IMHO the limited and precise character of Comey’s testimony in and of itself bolsters Comey’s credibility.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’ve been in situations like investigations, where I had to write down conversations that took place between me and another person. It’s actually very difficult to keep it neutral and not color it with your own perspective. That whole Rashomon thing.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is beyond a nothingburger. This is a treasonburger, ladies and gentlemen.

    I’d like my treasonburger medium, with mustard, Swiss cheese, extra tomatoes and swtte potato fries. And a diet Coke, please!

    • hendenburg2

      Swiss cheese? Blech.
      Tomatoes (not to mention EXTRA tomatoes?!) Gag.
      At least have yellow mustard!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        I stand by my choice. I figure the treasonburger is spicy enough to merit being counter-balanced by relatively mild condiments.

    • Michael R
    • Vecchioivan

      How about a non-fat covfefe with that?

    • Crystalclear12

      With Russian dressing?

    • NotReallyHere

      Shouldn’t that be a CollusionCoke?

  • akryan

    Did anyone notice just how much calmer and cooler Comey was testifiying today, than those other guys were yesterday who just stonewalled? It’s a lot easier to just tell the truth.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Retired or out of a job and no fucks to give. Probably liberating.

      • Stulexington

        “I got fired by Trump” is gonna start looking really good on a resume.

  • James

    Does this guy get a prize from Wonkette or is he a member of the non-commentariat?

    Man without pants streaks onto field, interrupts Brewers-Giants game https://t.co/ISpt8RIAVD pic.twitter.com/cJv26zaNof— WISN 12 News (@WISN12News) 8 June 2017

    • hendenburg2

      Is there anyone NOT non-commenting today?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      When Wonkers go bad.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pro-tip: When sans pants, never slide headfirst.
      Speaking for a friend.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Look out Florida Man, here comes Wisconsin Man!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    WSJ editorial–“Trump is just an innocent babe in the woods who got outsmarted by an experienced DC insider knife fighter. Leave​ Trump alone!”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Trump got swamped?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Britney, too!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The tough guy? The deal maker?

    • James

      Damn it, the job of President of the United States is not supposed to be an internship.

      Wingnuts seem to be going with the defence “Trump doesn’t know his way round yet, because he’s inexperienced.” I’d get fired from a job for that excuse, and I don’t think “doesn’t know his way round” is a really good excuse for the guy who runs the largest military in the history of the world with enough nukes to knock Earth out of orbit.

      • jesterpunk

        He said he is the smartest guy ever…

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          And the fucking rubes bought it. Also too he’s still got a 37% approval rating!?!?
          This is why I drink.

      • ltmcdies

        yeh I’m getting pretty damn weary of this whole line of “reasoning”…which for anyone else would be “excuses, excuses, excuses”

      • Jamoche

        Doesn’t know and doesn’t care. The first is fixable; the combo is not.

      • Three Finger Salute

        You mean apprenticeship.

        When do we get to say “Trump, you’re fired”?

        • Jamoche

          The show-runners keep re-editing it to produce the outcome Trump wants.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Wow. He’s worse than George Lucas.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Ah, the same defense as Paul Ryan offered up. “He’s new! He don’t know the score!”
      Dude, show me one speck of evidence His Fraudulency is willing to learn anything about the job before you throw this “inexperienced rube” crap out there.

    • BeachBum

      And I can play starting quarterback for the New England Patriots. I hope they are dumb enough to sign me.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        They did sign Family Guy that one time, so your chances are good.

    • BeachBum

      GOP wanted an inexperienced outsider. It also comes at a cost. They drank the Kool-Aid.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Indeed. And the next RWNJ who tells me that we should elect a businessman should get slapped repeatedly with votes.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Why did Comey not use the critical wingjob phrase “stand down”? Clearly a conspiracy.

  • Jamoche

    From: copperbadge

    Is…is Donald Trump hiding under the table, operating McCain like a muppet?

    • Raan

      If no political cartoonist jumps on this, I will be severely disappointed.

    • Crystalclear12

      That would explain why he didn’t make any sense.

  • Crystalclear12

    Ladies and gentleman, the people in charge of our nuclear weapons.

    Don’t forget your vitamin Gin.

  • jesterpunk

    Remember when we had a president not under investigation for working with a foreign government? Can we go back to that guy?

    • Yr. Gma

      I remember when we had more than one of those.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah me too, I would take any of the ones that are still alive, even Shrub right now.

        • HandsOfFate

          Maybe they all could just rule by committee.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      We had a lot of those right?

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah, good times.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Holy. Fucking. SHIT… Bill KKKristol is on MSNBC now. When you’ve lost him… He said his take away from today was that Trump’s intentions “were not honorable.”

    They’re really ALL heading for the rat lines, aren’t they?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Last one to leave gets stuck with the check.

    • beavertank

      They’ve got to escape to South America before it’s too late!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hell, Trump wasn’t even planning to call the next morning.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Carpe Vagenda

      tbf Bill Kkkristol has been never-Trump for ages, but he’s trying to make this the moment when the conservative movement lost its soul, so fuck him and the rest of the asshole neoconservative pundits whose daddies managed to hold their noses for the Hitler-Stalin pact but not for the Civil Rights Act with pointy votes.

  • Vecchioivan
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bye-bye, UKIP. Thanks for fuck-all.

  • DainBramage
  • covfefesumgame0005

    ahem, but from extensive research (watching Law & Order and CSI) aren’t “privileged communications” only between lawyers and their clients? is the lawyer-type guy trying to claim the FBI director is Trump’s lawyer?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      He’s trying to bootstrap the same level of executive privilege that Nixon tried to use (i.e., anything Trump says has a rebuttable presumption of being privileged until the he says it is not). Of course, even if you could get a court to overturn 40+ years of precedent that the privilege only applies to official acts Trump himself waived the privilege by discussing it on Twitter and on TV.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I think privileged can also refer to classified info, but then I mostly watched Law & Order SVU.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I thought the privilege only applied to advisory purposes

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Gah! They are just so fucking evil!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      So basically, they’re going to tweak it until they can pass it by reconciliation, no matter how many people it fucks or how many poor people it kills, under cover of night so no one can see it until it’s too late. These absolute fucks.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey wait a second didnt Republicans claim the ACA was passed in secret with no input from anyone?

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        I believe the phrase “rammed through” was used ad nauseam.

        I don’t know about them, but my rammings tend to not take a full year.

        • jesterpunk

          Their idiot base bought it and bought the out of context “have to pass the bill to see what is in it” comment. They didnt even take the entire sentence just part of it.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        It’s always projection with these assholes!

    • Stulexington

      Transparency, what does it mean?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I see they’re upgrading their everyday villainy to “cartoonish supervillainy”.
      Upshot – whatever they pass will differ from the House, which means they’ll have to conference it and come up with something that can pass both chambers. Good luck with that.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Please god, that is my hope, that they’re punting by passing shit nobody’s going to approve and by the time they plan to do anything about it they’ll have lost at least one house.

  • Claire

    MTV says out loud what basically every woman watching this was thinking.

    http://www.mtv.com/news/3019180/comeys-testimony-reminds-us-that-trump-is-a-predator/

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Ewwww would you want that bloated orange face next to yours?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Explains why Stumpage wants to drop a MOAB on Canada (with votes tariffs?). He can’t stand that his girlfriend Ivanka would rather cuddle with Captain Canuck than with her orangutan daddy.

    • nightmoth

      Wow! Good call.

    • marxalot

      Ana Marie Cox, whom you older Wonkerati may remember as our former Overlady.

      • Suttree

        The original way I found Wonkette back in the 2004(?) was an interview with her somewhere. I was interested because snarky hot woman, but only checked back on and off every once in a while until Rebecca started running it.

        • Shanzgood

          Well aren’t you and Lizzie glad you came back and stuck around!

    • Shanzgood

      Yup. When I read the part of Comey’s testimony where he said he basically froze, I thought that. And the questions he fielded today were disgusting.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Go with what you know, Trump!!!

  • Joe Beese

    From the “Holy Shit, I’m Old” Department, while listening to U2’s “New Year’s Day” – my introduction to the band – just now, I calculated that it’s 34 years old.

    34 years before that, the biggest hits of the year were sung by Frankie Lane, Vic Damone, Perry Como, and the fucking Andrews Sisters.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDysitDrWW0

    • Marion in Savannah

      And I’m actually old enough to remember most of them… For sure Frankie Lane, Como, and the Andrews Sisters. I’m drawing a bit of a blank on Vic Damone.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nothing changes. It’s still the Golden Age.

    • SnarkON

      Nothing changes on New Year’s Day.

    • Spurning Beer

      I’m always doing those kinds of calculations. I’ll hear a song from the Kinks or Jimi, and figure that was 46 or 50 years ago, and going back another 46-50 years, you’ve got Rudy Vallee and fucking Tin Pan Alley.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        When I was a kid, the Kinks and Jimi weren’t even oldies yet.
        Now they’re playing the hits of the (late) 80s on the oldies station.
        {{sobs}}

        • Meccalopolis

          Great music is timeless

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Oh wow Corbyn now even in the win?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, it’s really a holy shit kinda day innit

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I need to go to bed but I can’t help checking the polls.

  • Picabo

    A RWNJ talking point is that Dolt 45 is new on the job and did not know what he was doing. Well…
    Ignorantia juris non excusat or ignorantia legis neminem excusat (Latin for “ignorance of the law excuses not” and “ignorance of law excuses no one” respectively) is a legal principle holding that a person who is unaware of a law may not escape liability for violating that law merely because one was unaware of its content.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignorantia_juris_non_excusat

    • Sophia

      Yo can’t tell me (and make me believe) that with all the times he has sued and been sued that he does not know what Obstruction of Justice is. He might be new at presidenting but he is no babe in the woods when it comes to the law.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Bigliest presidential rap sheet ever! Winning!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Neminem. I’ve never pondered what the accusative of Nemo was. Thank you, kind lass or lad.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Eminem is accusative of… well, everybody. Or at least he used to be.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Emo –>> Eminem, duh

    • Suttree

      “We hired an idiot to run the country, give him a chance!”
      -Wingnuts everywhere

      • therblig

        “He’s one of us” – Those same Wingnuts

    • notaten

      I remember learning that in fifth grade. So, I guess I can conclude that donny only made it to fourth grade?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      If Drumpf manages to make the world fucking wake up from its libertarian and neo-lib idiocy, then he’ll have done, if inadvertently, at least one good thing.

    • Meccalopolis

      Fingers crossed

  • bookish

    https://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2017-06-07/if-trump-gets-his-way-world-may-not-know-if-u-s-emissions-rise

    President Donald Trump’s critics argue that pulling the U.S. out of the Paris climate accord will lead to an increase in greenhouse gas emissions.

    If Trump has his way, the world may never know.

    The president’s budget request to Congress would eliminate or gut core programs across the federal government that track the heat-trapping gases. If those cuts go ahead, the government may not be able to tell if emissions are rising or falling.

    • Stulexington

      Oh they’ll be able to tell, there just won’t be any evidence to debunk the hot air.

    • Suttree

      So the two playbooks that Turnip follows are Chimpy and Hitler?

      • javadavis

        Make that Putin and Don Corleone (I started looking up real mob bosses, but Don Trump is really into ratings, so Corleone is a better fit)

    • Marion in Savannah

      Actually, this sort of thing is why they’re perfectly happy to have Comey sucking up all the air time. It lets them do all their terminally destructive shit in the dark, with nobody looking at them.

      • davidhollenshead

        Of course it is spin & distractions, as Führer Trump wants to build his Forth Reich. Fascism is the Locomotive Führer Trump’s Train.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Like fast tracking TrumpDontCare, those ducking weasels. *
        *Apologies for the weasel libelz*

      • HogeyeGrex

        The House passed the, as Charlie Pierce calls it, Let’s Have Another Global Financial Disaster Act of 2017 today.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Mr. Trump, how many licks can the atmosphere take before the Earth is reduced to the Tootsie Roll center of the Tootsie Pop?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6rHeD5x2tI

      THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

  • ltmcdies
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Uh, since when do Congresspeople report directly to the President?

      • javadavis

        January 20

        • Three Finger Salute

          Because it’s 1933

    • BeachBum

      Trumper thinks GOP House Members are his hotel employees to clean his mess up. I guess this is how a govt is run like a business.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Well, how many has he had dinner with and collected the loyalty oaths from?

        • davidhollenshead

          That is a very disturbing question, as I doubt we will have anymore “free elections” because Führer Trump just loves Power & Control. He also likes to hurt people.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Come on out and defend your OWN ass, Twitler.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Too naive and stupid to know what he was doing. Lol lol lol some defense.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Meccalopolis

        It’s just a flesh wound!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Like they had to ask.

    • therblig

      Trumpettes’ Charge

    • SayItWithWookies

      And House members didn’t move, speak, or change their expression in any way during the awkward silence that followed.

    • Perkniticky

      I thought the Daily Caller was pro Trump. How does this help him?

  • Suttree

    Now I really like to give people the benefit of the doubt (No, I don’t), and I am aware that republicans like to obfuscate (lie) and act folksy (dumb), but I think that most of them really are as stupid as they act.
    Also too, go fucking retire Grandpa Walnuts. Start a radio station where you can day drink and pontificate. I know you don’t need the money, but you love to hear yourself talk. Apparently the people of Armadillo Holler do too.

    • yyyaz

      No ‘dilloes out here. However, there is Gila Bend, which does have a certain element of monsters in its population.

      • Suttree

        Forgive me, I have never been to Arizona. I generally assume that it is populated by those little weird sand people from Star Wars. That and alwayspunkindrublic.

        • Shanzgood

          You don’t want to know what a Kansan thinks lives in New Jersey!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          As a proud representative of the weird sand people, I take some exception to that.

          *a significant proportion of Arizona is high elevation and forested, fyi*

          • Suttree

            Thank you for the information good Sir alwayspunk, Ambassador to the Sand People.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Any time, brother. Gotta stand up for the oppressed minorities.

        • Erala Contratista

          Mainly populated by older folks from greener places.

      • Erala Contratista

        Say hi to the Space Age, while you are at it.

  • ken_kukec

    Ridiculous arguments like this are what happens when a lawyer cedes control of a case to the client: the lawyer abandons the role of advocate and counselor, takes on the role of mouthpiece.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I wouldn’t really expect anything else, being a lawyer to a guy like Trump. What did all those firms say? “Won’t pay, and won’t listen.”

      • Sheepshagger

        I can accurately assess what happened with trump and those firms. They would’ve wanted a massive retainer and binding undertakings. Trump would’ve said pay on invoice and not gonna. So no dice.

    • Sheepshagger

      No lawyer with any integrity (we exist! Shut up!) would rep trump. He’s a total shithead client. Guys like that you make them fire you before they hire you.

      • James

        See also all the lawyers who dropped everything to swarm airports across the nation to represent people pro bono during Travel Ban v1.0.

        I will never make a lawyer joke again.

        • Sheepshagger

          Why are you compelling comedy out of Counsel? Monster.

          • James

            I thought “monster” was reserved for those who bring up clams in cans.

          • Sheepshagger

            Mollusc you mention that?

          • James

            I keep my money in cans, does that count? (My Ameros are canned clams)

          • vivian

            YOU MONSTER AT SAVINGS!!!

        • Three Finger Salute

          “Some, I’m sure, are good people.”

        • javadavis

          “How many lawyers does it take to defend a Trump?”
          “Just one, because the rest of them have more ethics than that.”

        • BeachBum

          I agree. Everybody talks shit about them until they really need one. Live your life and then talk.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And the billables aren’t collectibles.

  • SnarkON

    Did dumbass Alex Jones, dumbass apologist for our dumbass traitor president, just use “treason” to describe Comey? You’ve got it backwards, dumbass.

    • davidhollenshead

      Yes, because Alex Jones knows that some of his followers will die for their psychosis, including the belief that anyone who is anti-Führer Trump, is worthy of being shot with an AR15.

  • davidhollenshead

    “This is a treason burger, ladies and gentlemen.” — Alex Jones.

    Which basically suggests that Alex wants one of his nut jobs to kill Mr. Comey,

    • SnarkON

      Trump likes his treasonburger well-done, with ketchup.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Just put a charcoal briquet on a bun and call it a day. His dumb ass wouldn’t know the difference anyway.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Alex is projecting, again.

      • davidhollenshead

        Well then Alex is a Traitor, who has other people commit his acts of violence for him.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Disquis is clogged like Trumps arteries after eating that treasonburger.

  • azeyote

    Trump will release the pee tapes to prove that they were Ukraine hookers not Russian – which will prove once and for all that the media is fake –

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Ukrainian pee™, tastes great, more filling.

      • davidhollenshead

        eww !

    • Spurning Beer

      Speaking as a retired Reverse Psychologist, I think it’s worth a try to send the following message to Donald:

      “Former President Obama thinks you’re doing the right thing by denying everything in the Steele dossier. If it turned out that the pee hooker thing were true, all your supporters would abandon you. No president could survive that.”

      Then just wait.

  • La forza del resistino

    Alan Dershowitz on teevee essentially licking predisential balls.. Hope Donald provides him a nice unit with a view at Mar-a-Lago.

    • vivian

      That man delights in intellectual perversion. It makes him an excellent lawyer and an abject failure as a human being.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        That he does. Well said!

  • Rick Hill

    I guess one of the talking heads called this shistshow a goat roeo. I have to ask, why not baby Dunkeys?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a9rQjDD_700b.jpg

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, damn… They may also be made of 110% SQUEEE, just like the babby goats on an earlier post today. Now I are torn…

      • Alan

        Baby goats win.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Baby Democrats :)

    • Perkniticky

      Adult donkeys are also underrated.

    • Meccalopolis

      Fuzzy McCuddlekins

  • Jamoche

    https://www.lawfareblog.com/initial-comments-james-comeys-written-testimony

    But of course, the President also has the authority to give the State of the Union address in Latin and have it consist entirely of obscenities directed at the Speaker of the House. To people who know the norms of federal law enforcement, the conduct described here is closer to that end of the spectrum of presidential behavior than it is to the normal range.

    • Ill-Advised

      He could also give Cicero’s Second Speech against Verres, substitute Comey’s name throughout, which would be closer to the range of speech associated with the end of a republic and the beginning of imperial dictatorship, also, too.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Trump is as fluent in Latin as he is in English.

  • Lulu Mac
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • subatomic

    Did this idiot lawyer really misspell president on the first line of his statement. God, is there anyone associated with Trump who isn’t incompetent?

    • javadavis

      Putin?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Beat me to it.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Apparently not.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No, Katie.

      • subatomic

        So did Wonkette somehow cut and paste this incorrectly or is “Predisent” an inside joke?

    • Alan

      Nope.

    • vivian

      Hey, he was in a rush and copy editors cost money and he’s not gonna get paid for this, so…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • davidhollenshead

      Remember the old Island logic problem:
      You are a fork in the road, and can ask an Islander one question, but this islander either comes from the village of liars, or the village of people who never lie. What question do you ask to know which part of the fork leads to which village ???

      • therblig

        which way to trump tower?

        • davidhollenshead

          Except that your answer does not solve the logic problem.
          As it requires checking if they have a MAGA hat first.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Ni?

        • SadDemInTex

          Are you a knight?

        • Rags

          4-5 almost makes me wish for a Shrub…….Naaaaa.

      • yyyaz

        Which road would you take?

        • davidhollenshead

          Spoler,
          You ask them to point to the path to their village, and then you know the way to the truth teller’s village.

          • yyyaz

            Simpler than the hypothetical: “Which path would you tell the other to take”? The liar has to point to the truth-teller’s village.

          • davidhollenshead

            But the truth teller have to point to the liars village.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You ask what someone from the other village would say, and then go the other way.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
        • davidhollenshead

          Excellent.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I love XKCD

      • vivian

        “Are you a tree frog?” – Kasperhauser

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Simple: which way is your village….

        • davidhollenshead

          You win a twinky.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Is that the cakes I like?….

          • davidhollenshead

            The cake that contains no food.

          • Rags

            Yellowcake?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m going to go with the one who broke the law and his oath of office to get the other one elected being the least likely to be the ratfucker in this situation.

      • Ducksworthy

        Sad but true.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, it’s easy to figure out. trump lies about 120% of the time. Those kind of odds cannot go on indefinitely so it’s probably statistically probable that trump is telling the truth.

      • Perkniticky

        No no, this is what people don’t understand about probabilities – they reset. So after every lie Trump’s lie quota resets. He can lie x infinity and never break the dice.

    • Rags

      And that three million illegals voted for hrc…
      And that his electoral college victory was the huugest…
      And…
      And…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Terrible game of FMK.

  • Ill-Advised

    Wolf Blitzer’s show is sponsored by Ciali$. Seems totally appropos.

    I’m starting to think we have to have a new lexicon for these really very difficult words, such as “hope,” or “tape.” And, just to make sure, what “is” is.

  • thixotropic jerk

    “I haz it on good authroatity that um, Comey was the gatekeeper for the uh, PizzaGate Kiddie porn aborotbabby luncheons and sextronix thingies, so yeah treason pretty much!”

    ~Illex Jonez, Dumfo Bores

  • AlwaysUsePoison

    Hey liberals, if you support same sex “marriage,” what you’re really saying is that you don’t think there’s anything wrong with a deviant man shoving his turgid love muscle into another man’s enlarged sphincter and getting a state “marriage” license to bless that sodomy. Never forget that!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If you have people in these states–or are in these states–please speak up for our healthcare now!

    https://twitter.com/benwikler/status/872919292127399938

    • davidhollenshead

      And of treating our “pre-existing conditions”.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    See the tabloids once more choosing sides, This makes me so sick.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html

    • ltmcdies

      they did seem to have jumped at those polls a bit fast but this is the Daily Fucking Mail.

      the call will come in the wee hours I guess

    • Three Finger Salute

      Daily Fail has even less credibility than Chump. They lost a lawsuit because they claimed that Melania was a whore.

      • therblig

        i thought they lost because they didn’t have proof.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Proof, professional…..let’s call the whole thing off….

        • Three Finger Salute

          Technically you’re right. Although, marrying that grotesque cheese ball who (supposedly) is very, very rich has got to be in some grey area.

  • Rick Hill

    Somehow, this seems relevant. Ancient graffiti, translated into Newspeak.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aKV0w46_700b.jpg

  • akryan

    Despite this testimony, I’m still not ever going to forget or forgive Comey for being the reason that we have to deal with Trump to begin with. So, good on him for being seemingly honest today, but still he deserves a big fuck you for putting us in the situation we’re in at all.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Goes without sayin’….

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I understand what you’re saying but Comey isn’t the only reason we have Trump. A bunch of morons in MI, PA, WI, FLA and OH are the main reason.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Don’t forget the gerrymandering and scrubbing voter rolls and the dumb ID laws. But the morons didn’t help either.

        • Meccalopolis

          And the Russian bots

  • Picabo

    My whole takeaway from today:
    “Small change got rained on with his own thirty-eight”

    • vivian

      And Walnuts is dead on his feet.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Anyone who quotes Tom Waits wins the internet for the day in my book.

      • Picabo

        Thank you.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      “Romeo is Bleeding!”

  • Mary Stone

    Creamsicle Motherfucker should be toast, but because the repubs need his rotting corpse as a cover to get their super nifty agenda items passed (like killing Dodd-Frank, which they voted on in the house today), they’ll stick by him until he literally falls into pieces of rotting flesh. Collusion with an enemy state is a nothingburger to them because Creamsicle Motherfucker stuck an R next to his name and just enough people in red states voted for him to give him the electoral votes.

    • BeachBum

      I think so. They will stick by him cause the base will always want him over Pence. And he will sign anything put in front of him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “If you’ll just cut him some slack, he’ll stop colluding and figure out that he should at least pretend to be presidential!”

    https://twitter.com/SafetyPinDaily/status/872944473973690370

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      But we’re still gonna stick it to the poor and elderly, right?”…

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      FOR FUCK’S SAKE RYAN YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

      Obama would have had his head handed to him long ago.

    • BeachBum

      I thought they said it was a feature, not a bug.

    • Pisto75666

      “He’s new at government,” Ryan said. “Therefore I think he is learning as he goes.”

      I didn’t think presidenting was a ‘learn as you go’ kind of thing. Hell, even President Obama tried to help out Trumpilstiltskin before he left but I guess that doesn’t count.

      • davidhollenshead

        It is very hard to teach people who have an IQ of less than 95, after all……

        • Pisto75666

          Flash cards are a thing. But then, you have to have a greater attention span than a goldfish for them to work so, that leaves Trumpie out.

          • davidhollenshead

            You then have the problem of them eating the flash cards they don’t like.

          • Pisto75666

            Damn! Yeah, there is that.

          • Pisto75666

            Plastic ones could be made, like those baby books for learning numbers and letters.

      • Perkniticky

        There’s you mistake right there – what Trump is doing is PREDISENTING, not presidenting. Totally different thing.

      • CripesAmighty

        Forgot to give him his ‘trainee’ name tag and paper hat.

        • Pisto75666

          If he’s a good boy Bannon’ll put him on the fries next week.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Damn! I wish I had this excuse when I began teaching. I could have beaten up a couple kids.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Ryan, on the other hand, should be a lot more adept by now at covering for others’ criminal behavior.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      1. Ignorance of the law excuses no one
      II. Ryan is suggesting Trump gets a pass because he’s a know-nothing blowhard? Nope, that’s neither desirable nor forgivable
      C. Ryan can shut the fuck up, the oily partisan. If he cared one whit for the country or the people in it (that aren’t his wealthy bros), he’d step the hell off.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      But Obama was “naive”!

      • Shanzgood

        He was just an inexperienced community organizer.

        • pussygrabber in chief

          Hey! I was gonna say that!

          • Shanzgood

            We’ve been here too long, haven’t we?

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Wait. I thought Donald’s spectacularly successful career as a “businessman” and being a complete government outsider would make him the best president ever.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    They’re just operating on the notion that if you tell a lie three times or more (louder each time) it magically becomes the truth…

  • Alan

    How ridiculous does this have to get? Same lawyer that represents Russian banks and Putin’s friends. I would think they would at least pretend but it’s almost like they’re doing this on purpose to test the extent of the idiocy.

    • davidhollenshead

      Führer Trump original mafia lawyer no longer works for him, as the checks usually bounced.

    • Vecchioivan

      Not only does the emperor not have any clothes on. His dick isn’t very big either.

      • davidhollenshead

        Are you referring to our Führer Trump’s micro penis ???

        • Covfefe

          What exactly do you think Donald meant when he reminded Comey, at their private, Valentine’s Day dinner, about that “thing?”

          • davidhollenshead

            That small and Herpes Infested thing ???

      • TootsStansbury

        No clothes, tiny dick and he and his fellow hellions smell like sulfur and carrion. It’s why Bannon never showers; that shit don’t wash off.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I know, consider the source, but he would know, wouldn’t he?

    https://twitter.com/BillKristol/status/872934156044578816

    • davidhollenshead

      All our senators should be terrified of Führer Trump, the fat fascist.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think most of them have forgotten that their votes have consequences at this point.

    • akryan

      They’re just afraid they won’t be able to take the country back to the 19th century before the mid-terms.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      They all need to take a few sips of their iced covfefe from the Senate cafeteria and chill.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Except for Walnuts, obvs. He’s all “where’s my pudding?”

    • TootsStansbury

      Which pretend Republicans would these “terrified” ones be, Billy me boy?

    • yyyaz

      Fuck ’em all. They propped up his nasty orange ass, they can now either keep kissing it or go into the grinder with him.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Is “Predisent” his new Putinized title?

    • Alan

      That would be Tsar.

      • davidhollenshead

        Wouldn’t it be Puppet Tsar Trump ???

        • Alan

          I stand corrected. Thanks.

          • davidhollenshead

            You are welcome.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He misspelled “Predator”.

    • BeachBum

      Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t hire anyone who couldn’t spell Beachbum.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Wonkies’ French boyfriend reveals secret identity as Capitaine Planète, trolls earth-hater Trump with new website

    Macron unveils ‘Make our planet great again’ website in thinly-veiled dig at Trump’s campaign slogan after US pulled out of Paris climate deal

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4585964/Macron-unveils-Make-planet-great-website.html

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, the Diamondbacks Twitter folks just had to troll McCain one more time today.
    https://twitter.com/Dbacks/status/872946475734491136

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I think it was One of our good California Dems who said Republicans were trying to get everything they could “before the wheels fall off the bus”. I hope they choke on it (with votes)

    • yyyaz

      Luis Gonzalez will never be forgiven for his commercial endorsement of Walnutz.

  • Seek

    None of this testimony really matters but it will blind the vast unwashed American public to the repeal of the ACA as they replace with the AHCA. It’s all a big game and these assholes are willing to bob and weave for the cameras to keep the masses distracted while the Senate then cuts the health insurance of 23M people.

    Oh well, pass my beer.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      They would have done it regardless.

      • Seek

        True but more people would have noticed and protested.

        • pussygrabber in chief

          The people who were going to notice and protest have already noticed and protested. The willfully, proudly ignorant Trump cultists will remain so.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    One subtext to this whole thing that really frightens me is this:

    I’ve always had respect for and trust in the military leadership of our armed forces to be non-political, except for the internal politics inherent in the service itself. But now we have several generals and admirals who seem to have forgotten their oaths to the constitution. We have Flynn, apparently pissed that he was fired by the black guy becoming a paid agent for our adversaries. Adm. Rogers’ stonewalling in front of congress, bordering on obstruction and contemp; McMaster and Rogers carrying Trump’s water, even though they must be aware of the inner “workings” of this administration.

    How many of these guys who forget they work for us are still out there?

    • davidhollenshead

      Too many !!!

    • James

      See also Col. Oliver North and Admiral John Poindexter. Seems to be a thing when a Republican is President.

    • Vecchioivan

      It’s not that far from the Pentagon to K St.

    • m3bosha

      Well as Agent Orange has yet to figure out he works for us it seems par for the course his minions don’t get it either.

  • Ok…i gotta look up what i can bring across the border, food-wise for drinky thing tomorrow….

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      International drinky thing! You’re a dedicated dodo!
      Edit: can you bring a prime minister?

      • Road trip!!!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Awesome! I couldn’t get to Chicago because parenting, but do please love everyone extra for me :-)

    • Three Finger Salute

      Forget the food. Bring Barry and Justin. ‘Cuz they’re a dish.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Canned clams?

      • Vecchioivan

        Poutine?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Canned poutine? Back in the day they used to have canned tortillas

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      I have similar problem. I have a six hour drive to get there. I don’t want to poison anyone.

      • Shanzgood

        Driving for SIX HOURS?!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          You’re not from around here, are you?…..

          • Shanzgood

            I’m from Kansas but I just can’t do long car trips. Four hours and I’m maxed out antsy.

        • Paul

          Took ten hours to visit Holly when she lived in Pittsburgh. That was on a Harley, haulin’ ass. Back was a little stiff.

          • Shanzgood

            Ugh. In the U.K., I rode a motorbike from Cardiff to Chester one time and it felt like days. I was frozen and deaf at the end and wanted to strangle my XH for speeding through red lights ahead of me (he was driving our car).

            It would take me 24hrs to drive to Pittsburgh, non-stop From where I live.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Yep. I don’t figure the Wonkebago will be coming to WV anytime soon.

    • notaten

      Maple syrup, duh!

    • TootsStansbury

      You scared me. I thought “uh oh, it’s time”. There’s a Wonkette pact for when it’s time to ditch, right?

    • Covfefe

      Stop in Walkerville and pick up Canadian Club. Always welcome in Detroit.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I get it now. Kasowtiz is talking about someone called Predisent Trump, and we’re all talking about PRESIDENT Trump. No wonder there’s confusion here.

    • vivian

      No no no, we’re still talking about President Comey until Hillary’s investigation is finished.

    • msanthropesmr

      There’s a fringe on the flag!!!

      • Meccalopolis

        Derp state plot! You’re the lizard!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is that the person, the agent, or the settler?

      • covfefesumgame0005

        the fluffer…

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        The A Idiot I assume.

    • notaten

      Plausible deniability. Yup. It’s all clear to me now.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It was President Trump who tried to bigfoot Comey, not that Predisent fellow.

  • msanthropesmr

    Maybe Trump is preparing for an ineffective counsel defense.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Not guilty by reason of stupidity, your honor.

      • davidhollenshead

        Excellent.

      • Alan

        Paul Ryan even said that today.

  • davidhollenshead

    I’ve got to run, and sharped my pitch fork.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    OT. I want the MSNBC advertisers to know, when Greta VonSuspect comes on I turn the channel to CNN, or anything but MSNBC. Fox Lite is just a little less shity Fox and I don’t watch.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Greta Van Scientology.

      Irony: Her sister is a psychiatrist.

    • m3bosha

      When Brian Williams tossed the story over to her the first time after the testimony she immediately when full Fox and talked about how great it was for Cheetoman. I changed the channel and then explained to the hubbs how Greta is Tom Cruise… and he knows how I feel about Tom Cruise. (Long story short… no me gusto Tom).

      • Three Finger Salute

        >Tom Cruise

        >Long story short

        I see what you did there :)

  • Holly

    Ladies and Gentlemen? I’m drinking wine….I’m going to continue to drink wine and I hope all of you are drinking, smoking or whatever your poison is is working because all this shit is worthy of a good drunk. When I say a good drunk? I mean a fucking end all drunk that will go down in your history of drunk or under the influence of whatever you need to ingest right about now. In the immortal words of Molly Ivins:
    “When politicians start talking about large groups of their fellow Americans as ‘enemies,’ it’s time for a quiet stir of alertness. Polarizing people is a good way to win an election, and also a good way to wreck a country.”

    • Shanzgood

      I get too stroppy when I’m that drunk so I think I’ll just stick with a mellow buzz.

      • Holly

        Shanz this is no time for mellow my dear. Resistance takes anger. Get your anger buzz on. RESIST!

        • Shanzgood

          Ow, my arm!

          *looks for leftover bottle of CabSauv*

          • Holly

            That’s my girl!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Hey! Hands off Shanzgood! I’ll lift a glass of Mount Gay with you, but Shanz is just fine the way she is….

    • Vecchioivan

      I think your drinking spree comes about 40 years too late.

      • Holly

        How old do you think I am anyway? Oh….wait….fuck…

    • marxalot

      I have work in the morning, so I’ll stick with my usual: beating the living hell out of the heavy bag. I’m up to 15 rounds of 1min 15sec.

      • covfefesumgame0005

        dressed up as Trump? (as one does!)

    • Three Finger Salute

      My sole vice right now is noncomments on Wonkette. I don’t drink because family history of substance abuse; I don’t smoke because cowboy killers, and I don’t do other drugs because 1) I don’t want to risk messing up my already messed-up head; 2) I don’t want to rot in solitary at Leavenworth for the unspeakable felony crime of possessing an “aloe plant”; and 3) I don’t know where people even get this stuff anyway. My luck, I’d buy a baggie from some kid behind a convenience store who turns out to be a CI for the cops. Not taking that chance.

      It used to be food, but I joined one of those pay-by-month diet programs because I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I only just started up about a month-and-a-half ago, and so far I’ve lost 15. 45 to go. Should get down to my goal by the time the new year comes around. Wonking about Dump’s downfall and pictures of attractive world leaders sure helps pass the time.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’m on board with the chemical diversions, bigly in fact. Just so long as it doesn’t impede one’s ability to aid the resistance.

  • Picabo
    • TJ Barke

      So uh, how you doin’?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Dude, you forgot to compliment her socks!

        • TJ Barke

          I haven’t seen them!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Wow, Greta. Corey Lewandowski. What a get.
    What a lucid commentary he added to the narrative.

    • jesterpunk

      Is he still under the non disparagement contract and being paid by Turnip like he was when he “worked” at CNN?

    • CripesAmighty

      Guess JIm Hoft (SMOTI) was busy.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Update: McCain thought he was having a cup of morning coffee but he grabbed a cup of covfefe instead. That was the reason for his erratic and puzzling (otherworldly) line of questioning.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Covfefe laced with LSD

      • Bill D. Burger

        He needs to flush his cache.

        (And I know he’s ‘flush with cash’…but that’s not gonna help. )

        • Vecchioivan

          Ba-dum!

    • Covfefe

      Covfefe is a species of malware. You click on covfefe you get cooties.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I think his staff told him he had already blown his Maverick Wad yesterday and to knock it off…

      • mardam422

        I keep getting my maverick wad stuck in my zipper.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Yeah, well quit waving it around so often!…..or do the right thing and quit wearing pants!….

        • Shanzgood

          Pants. Pants are a problem.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Not around these parts!

          • Shanzgood

            Oy!

        • cheetojeebus

          ‘like pissing through the jaws of an alligator.’ from a complaint letter levi’s got in the 1950s when they introduced jeans with zippers from a midwest farmer.

        • Three Finger Salute

          “Is that hair gel?”

          “No, it’s Maverick wad…”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbFx0CbaIlY

  • Covfefe

    Can we remind ourselves that the Director of the FBI is a glorified cop? Would a cop with his head on straight jeopardize the Russia collusion case by snapping up a lousy obstruction of justice rap at his earliest opportunity? Or would a cop string his mark along? Because in this case, the substantive offense, if it’s treason, actually is worse than the coverup.

    • jesterpunk

      Why not both? Which is what it seems Comey did.

    • Shanzgood

      Yeah, but why would he obstruct the investigation if he’s not guilty? Because it’s hurting his ratings?

      • subatomic

        In his defense, Trump probably would obstruct justice just because he is worried about his approval ratings. The man is a narcissistic moran after all.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Trump would probably obstruct justice just because he is categorically opposed to it.

  • Doug Langley

    Predisent Trump’s personal lawyer”???????????

    Oh dear. Oh dear.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    over/under on how many dixie cups of slobber Tweety will produce tonight?

  • marxalot

    So in a fight between the Main Cop and a Grifter RIchboy and his lawyer… we’re betting on the Cop, right?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m hoping the cop pulls the ol’ “Oh just one more thing” Columbo bit.

      • TundraGrifter

        “Oh – Mr. Jackson. Just one more thing I just can’t get off of my mind. You know, it’s a funny thing how something will just stick in your mind and you can’t let it go. The wife, she says to me all the time, ‘Why don’t you just forget about it?’ but I can’t. So, if you don’t mind my asking, why did you kill your partner?”

      • BeachBum

        ” My wife really likes your hotels. And she found these Rubles in the couch. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation how they got there.”

      • Three Finger Salute

        Comey is talking to Republicans. The party that covered up a statue of Lady Justice with a makeshift burka because 80085 is the number of the beast. He’ll have to quote the other famous Peter Falk role:

        No, no, you don’t want to hear why Melania doesn’t want to be alone with him in the same room either. That’s kissing.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kxYApOPnW8

  • Doug Langley

    Actual conversation I had at work today:

    Boss: “You have to learn to get the worksheet forms to the teaching assistants earlier in the week. They need time to get them done by next week.”
    Me: “I’d love to, but keep getting changes to them.”
    Boss: “What changes?”
    Me: “You just gave me a couple!”
    Boss: “Oh. Sorry.”

    • jesterpunk
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Conversation you had AT WORK!

      :)

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ugh. hang in there buddy.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Thank goodness that summer is only a few months long! I hope there’s a liquor store nearby!

  • Picabo
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Lori

      Dems better actually show up to vote.

      • pussygrabber in chief

        You mean just having a preference isn’t enough?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          But, but I liked him on Facebook AND I didn’t unsubscribe from all his emails! That’s like a vote, right?

  • Vincent Ricola

    CNN says the White House won’t confirm or deny there’s a recording system in place that does wire tapps on everyone all the time? Is that real?

  • delete your account probably
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Deleted? PM Pierre’s adorbs little boy.

  • Rick Hill
    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Up fist for “Fleshy Orange Woodpecker”.

  • delete your account probably
    • Msgr_MΩment

      FLIP THE ELF!

  • CATMAN

    This is what we are up against–from today’s NYT–I don’t know if the guy’s name is ironic or not

    To the Editor:

    I
    wanted to provide you with an unsophisticated synopsis of The New York
    Times and the media’s quest for the implosion of Donald Trump’s
    presidency from out here in the real world, in “deplorable” country.

    As
    you can imagine (or maybe you can’t quite), as a proud deplorable, I
    have many associates, colleagues and relatives who agree with me. Every
    time you and your brethren at other news organizations dream up a new
    scheme to get Mr. Trump, we out here in deplorable land increase our
    support for him.

    It’s quite humorous that when The Times, The
    Washington Post and the networks all bash Mr. Trump, our support
    increases. Regardless of what you dream up every day, we refuse to be
    sucked into your narrative. And even more humorously, there isn’t
    anything you can do about it!

    And I love it that you are having
    the exact opposite effect on those of us you are trying to persuade to
    think otherwise. I mean it is seriously an enjoyable part of my day
    knowing you are failing. And badly!

    I haven’t had this much fun
    watching the media stumble, bumble and fumble in years. I wonder what
    will happen on the day you wake up and realize how disconnected you’ve
    become?

    KENTON WOODHEAD
    BRUNSWICK, OHIO

    Editorials, Op-Ed and Letters

    |

    LETTER

    On Wonder Woman

    Attendees at an all-women screening of “Wonder Woman” at the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn.

    Nicole Craine for The New York Times

    To the Editor:

    Re “Wonder Woman’s Real Power,” by Jessica Bennett (Op-E

    • akryan

      There is no convincing them of anything. If they thought he was qualified to be president in the first place, then there is no point in even trying to reach them at this point. Voter turnout is the only thing that matters.

      • HogeyeGrex

        There were a lot of people who were only barely sucked (suckered?) in to vote Trump. Many of those are already deeply regretting it. They’ll play a part in 2018. The ones that still support him rabidly? Yeah. Not much point in trying to convince them of anything, except maybe how much Liberals like it when they breathe.

    • Lori

      It’s interesting that this guy thinks that he and his deplorable posse are the ones the NYT is trying to persuade. Smart people wrote Knotthead & his crew off long ago and are focusing on the folks with enough sense not to base their entire lives on spite. One day Blockhead is going is going to realize that he and the rest of the “economically anxious” white assholes in Bumfuck are not in fact the center of everyone’s universe and he’s going to have a really tough day.

      • Shanzgood

        The last statement there is WHY they voted for Trump. They KNOW they’re not the center of the universe any more. That’s why we’ve got all these white supremacists and misogynists working on voter suppression and dismantling reproductive rights (among other things).

        • Lori

          Fair point. I should have said that one day he’s going to realize that he’s never again going to be the center of everyone’s universe.

          Rage, rage against the dying of the (torch & burning cross) light!

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve been hoping that this Trump fiasco is death throes rather than…the alternative.

          • Lori

            Fingers crossed

    • James

      The man seems to be deluded, as Mr. Trump’s support is dropping below the crazification factor (the level of support a Republican candidate gets if his name appears on a ballot line as Satan-R)

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        They’re simply contrarian simpletons who never got to sit at the cool kids table and now take willful ignorance as a badge of pride. My theory is that trumpism is a new religion.

      • NellCote71

        On a rainbow ballot.

    • Shibusa

      One gets the sense that Trump could shoot Kenton Woodhead in broad daylight in the middle of 5th Avenue and still get his vote in 2020.

      • CATMAN

        Judging by his level of sentience, a head wound might not be fatal

        • HogeyeGrex

          Preparation H, though…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The name “Hester Prynne” was already taken.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yeah, but the numbers are dropping….

    • jesterpunk

      So we can finally stop trying to reach out to them and understand how they feel?

      • Lori

        Yes. If I never read another word explaining these people it will be too soon. I’m willing to consider making an exception for actual sociological or psychological studies, but not one more word from any more lazy reporters or NYT best seller-wanna be authors. We have splashed around in that shallow pool for months and it’s enough already.

    • Oxidation Suspenders

      Acknowledges that the Times is trying to persuade them to “think otherwise.” Sorry, but there is no thinking involved.

    • TootsStansbury

      Does “Woodhead” crudely translate into “Stiff Dick” in Russian?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      so fingers in your ears despite the water around your ankles and the untreated cancer in your belly.

      GOT IT.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Is anyone really bothering to try to persuade them anymore?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    OT: I DVR Jeopardy to watch while I’m working out. One of the categories on the episode I watched today was “S” Words.

    • Oxidation Suspenders

      I’ll go. Sedition? Subversion?

      • Oxidation Suspenders

        Oh Shit!!! Should have said “What is sedition?” What is subversion?

        • That’s how you lose at Jeopardy

          • NellCote71

            “I will take ‘I essed your mother last night,’ Alex, for $100,” said Sean Connery.

    • memzilla Ω

      Subpoena? Suborn? Suspicious? Scandal? Secretive? Salacious? S-s-s-sudio?

    • Swords?

    • NellCote71

      Great idea! Thanks.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      You’re all too much of the young!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMtTFgarCX8

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Fuck you, Choad. “The Justice Department took it on the chin today.” I.e., BOTH SIDES!!!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I think he may be referring to the AG? I don’t know.

      • delete your account probably

        Quite possibly. Turns out Sessions might have had ANOTHER meeting with the Russians, that he accidentally didn’t disclose somehow, even after the first two.

        • NellCote71

          I met two visiting Russian scientists while they were here for research at the NSF program where I worked. In the late 1980s. To this day I remember them. Mainly because they wore sweaters in the Texas heat. And we introduced them to Mexican food. How difficult can this be?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            riffing of your thing, I had 3 Nepalese neighbors in Austin.

            I bitched about the heat and humidity, the told that they (apparently like many other young Nepalese) were edcuated in India. They said they’d play cards and drink Jack Daniels in 100 degree heat, with 100% humidity.

            3 dudes, 1 fork between them. (They ate by forming their hands into a litlte scoop).

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Loretta Lynch gave the appearance of conflict and Jefferson Beauregard Sessions took Putin up the poop chute.

    • Meccalopolis

      I know, fuck todd

  • BadKitty904

    I thought I read that none of the smart lawyers would represent Trump, a.) because he’d stiff them; b.) because he wouldn’t shut up and do as they tell him – both of which are perfectly reasonable concerns.

    So, his current shill is a C-grade shyster, at best.

    • Raan

      Look at it this way: Ken Rosenberg worked for the Liberty City mob, and before that was basically consigliere for a known murderer and drug dealer.

      Rosenberg wouldn’t touch Cheeto Benito with a ten-foot pole.

      • BadKitty904

        With that resume, it sounds like Rosenberg’s still alive because Rosenberg’s no fool.

        • Raan

          Last I heard, he retired his legal practice to become Madd Dogg’s business manager or accountant or something.

      • NellCote71

        Oh, that’s funny. Must do some research.

        I am an oldz, and in the gym today I tried to explain to my very young (22) and very cute (dimples) trainer how Trump was mobbed up. He had not seen any of The Godfather movies, Good Fellas or even the Sopranos. I had to tell him about the kiss Trump gave Comey and what omertà means. I tried to explain that you do not have casinos in NJ and Nevada or building projects all over without the mob. I am not sure he even knows what the Mob means. Young people these days. At least I talked long enough to get out of burpees, which I am sure was derived from a form of Mob “discipline.”

        • Ricky Gay

          Probably thinks the Cosa Nostra is a form of dance.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          gah! You shoulda frog marched that boy to one of those insufferable screens showing TLC or some shit and made him watch Goodfellas.

          Godfather I is good after first 20 minutes…Godfather II is the Empire Strikes Back of the series.

          Wait, I confused myself.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Up fisted for getting out of burpees! You clever!
          And upfist for hopefully piquing his curiosity enough that he seeks out all of those that you mentioned- some of my faves!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      NPR reported that he’s been playing lead guitar or a rock band for the past decade and is known as an iconoclost… I actually yelled “Robert Ingersoll libelz” at my radio.

      • BadKitty904

        You know, like any other legal representation of the President of the United States…

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Totally normal, I’m sure.

    • miss_grundy

      But Tangerini knows the best shysters!

      • BadKitty904

        He ought to. But none of them will work for him, since they prefer to be paid for their efforts.

  • Shibusa
  • Msgr_MΩment

    So is Trump 12-stepping the twatting machine?

    • Jamoche

      It’s not 3AM yet.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s lawyer says Comey broke the law.

    And Trump’s doctor says he is the fittest person to ever run for office.

    Moral of the story : Trump surrounds himself with fucking idiots.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The best fucking idiots.

    • jesterpunk

      Trump’s doctor said he tested positive to everything like that is a good thing.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He’s very positive about syphilllis-induced dementia.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Tertiary Syphillis. The only thing holding his brain cells together are spirochetes. Don’t dare treat it. If those spirochetes unscrew the whole brain collapses like a cheap tent.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Syphilis? That would explain a lot

        • jesterpunk

          AOT,K… All of it.

    • Spurning Beer

      Trump’s accountant says he’s a billionaire!

    • Yr. Gma

      The BEST fucking idiots.

  • Bill D. Burger

    BTW: Is anyone surprised that a lawyer who can’t spell ‘president’ might not use the best legal reasoning in his memo?

    • Joe Beese

      Hires only the best people.

    • Jay Silversmith

      The interwebs are saying that Kasowitz hasn’t got his retainer fee yet or he would have done a better job and used bigger words. Besides, it’s not like don the con didn’t constantly lie in front of America, or on TV, or in front of thousands of gawd-botherers, or donors, or in court documents, or tax returns, or his “charities”, or to his past wives, or when he told Ivanka he wouldn’t dream of boinking her. But he wants us to believe Comey lied???

    • Suttree

      My lawyer is sooo good he doesn’t know what spellcheck is!

  • Wow. Comey was a busy boy, today, what with a closed session testimony and two separate open session testimonies: the one Republicans are pretty sure exonerates Trump and the other one the rest of us saw.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Comey should tweet: “No law breaker! No law breaker! You’re the law breaker!”

  • Shibusa
    • NotReallyHere

      Ok, I really need to know who she is looking at!

    • Meccalopolis

      Superficial comment but, damn! She fly

  • thank-you-thing
  • Raan

    UK update – seven seats in the House of Commons have been decided, six being held by Labour and one by the Conservatives.

    • h4rr4r

      So can you guys get rid of Thatcher 2.0 or not?

      • Raan

        Oh, no, I’m not in the UK. Elections are just my crack, and I got some tainted shit from my last dealer.

        As to getting a new PM, beats me. Exit polls say the Conservatives will lose the majority, but they’ll still have a plurality. It would probably take Labour forming a coalition with other parties and then winning a vote of no confidence.

        But then, that’s only seven seats out of some 600, so it’s still early.

  • BadKitty904

    John McCain so accurately summed up the Republican-controlled Senate – the perfect ending to today’s brouhaha.

  • bluicebank

    I guess Trump will rue the day he got a rep for stiffing lawyers, and now has to rely on a stupid one.

    Or as the old saying goes: “A man with a stupid lawyer is both stupid and has a fool for a lawyer.” Or something like that; could be the other way around.

    • Raan

      I think it was “Any man who represents himself has a fool for a client.”

      • bluicebank

        Yes. But this sites rules and regs leads me to mangle quotes on purpose.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        …and a jackass as an attorney.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “because ANY SANE PERSON IN A MEETING IN THE OVAL OFFICE would take it that way, ESPECIALLY if the president had just shooed everybody else out of the room so he could grab the FBI director by the pussy in private.”

    The “reasonable person” standard strikes again!

    Problematic? Yes. Flexible. You betcha.

    • miss_grundy

      “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?” I loved that quote. Too bad Comey didn’t deliver the line like Peter O’Toole.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        sadly, my ONLY exposure to that line is from Season 1 of Blackadder.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So, did Amy Klobauchar ever date Jim Comey in law school?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Don’t talk about my Amy like that!…..now wash your mouth out…..that’s right- – the soap over there!….

  • Shibusa
    • BadKitty904

      Srsly?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Jeffrey? You win Donna Rose’s used diapers!

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Priceless, whether Poe or not.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Idiot. Obama couldn’t get repubs to spend anything on infant structure.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Depends.

    • SayItWithWookies

      He’s a regular fontanelle of wisdom.

      • Suttree

        Don’t forget your DIP-TET!

    • Raan

      Jeffrey.

      Jeffrey go to bed you’re drunk.

    • TJ Barke
    • NellCote71

      Unrtunate autocorrect or does he think that is a real term like when you misunderstand a song’s lyrics: “Jose, can you see by the dawn’s early light.”

      • TJ Barke

        Or donserly light. What’s a donserly light?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          And to the Republic of Richard Stans….

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            “..Howard be thy name…”

        • Three Finger Salute

          It’s the light that goes on when you open the door of the nearest restroom, because there’s a bathroom on the right. Where you say excuse me while I kiss this guy. And he says hold me closer, Tony Danza.

        • Persistent Demme

          As a child, Mr. Demme used to wonder what a “helluva” was.

      • Three Finger Salute
    • Persistent Demme

      Roseanne Roseannadanna wants to know:
      “What’s all this about: Russian Jewelry?
      …and Youth in Asia?”

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Emily Litella.

        Roseanne Roseannadanna:

        Hey Dr. Joyce Brothers! Get that sweatball off your nose! What are you tryin; to do, make me sick?

      • Le Covfefe Royal

        Emily Latella libel!!

  • James

    Off-topic:

    My wife just finished the new drapes for the living room. Our new traverse rods should be here tomorrow (so I know what I’m going to be doing).

    The drapes are made with pencil pleats, which to me look nicer than French pleats.

    She finished a duvet yesterday. That was nice to have on the bed.

    Makes me wonder what she keeps me around for.

    • BadKitty904

      There are worse things than being ornamental, bub.

      • James

        I don’t mind being my wife’s ornament.

        • BadKitty904

          See?

      • Shibusa

        “Word.” ~Melania

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      All that French stuff……..Macron! Sacred Bleu!!!!!! She eez in luv!

    • Shanzgood

      I only understood “duvet”.

      • SpideySenser

        IK, R? Curtain talk is a foreign language to me. I tell them in the store to explain in simple terms as if I were 4 years old.

        • Persistent Demme

          That’s how I feel in an auto repair shop.

          • SpideySenser

            I used to be better at auto talk than I am now that the engines are computerized. I could do the spark plug, timing, tune up chit chat but not so much now. Fortunately, Mr. Senser works for Ford so he just takes my car to work when it needs help and I’m out of that equation. This is why we love him. Oh, and he cooks better than me, also, too.

    • therblig
      • subatomic

        Ha Ha. Just watched most of Twin Peaks again a few months ago with Mrs. Subatomic. What a weirdly entertaining series.

        • Suttree

          Lizzie and I just watched season one a few weeks ago. I believe the silent drape runners are season two.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            FAKE NEWS!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Good question. Are the drapes the only thing that’s well-hung?

    • DrBigHead

      Eye candy?

    • DrBigHead

      MsBighead is 5’2″. I am 6 ‘even. Knowing I can be replaced with a two-foot step ladder keeps me on my toes.

      • James

        Me too. I am about eight inches taller than my wife (though I am not that tall). If she gets the idea that she can buy a stepladder, I’m toast.

    • Suttree

      To install things? Hopefully. I always try and make myself useful, so that I can get away with day drinking.

    • Suttree

      I have fabricated miles of custom curtain rods. $20 per foot $50 per hour for install. My bartenders in New Orleans loved me!

    • SpideySenser

      I have a new pair of store bought curtains that I have been waiting weeks to coordinate a time to hang with Mr. Senser. After you finish up at home can you come over? It’s def a 2 person job.

  • Picabo

    “If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about answers.”
    ― Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow

  • DrBigHead

    This is likely to be a redundant post, but my biggest takeaway of the day’s events is a profoundly depressing one. The fact that the Speaker of the House, with a straight face, defended Trump’s actions on the grounds that he is an inexperienced moron, leads me to believe that nothing, and I mean nothing is going to be done until there is a Democratic congress. Can we survive that long?

    • BadKitty904

      That last questions is my key one.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And the Russians will be working hard to keep the Democrats from taking over.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Isn’t working hard the hookers’ job?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          The transsexual ones, yes.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        This is why the GOP is not concerned with future hacking. We all know Repubs are not above lying and cheating to stay in power.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Oh, they’re concerned about future hacking. But only because they’re probably hoping the Russians will come through for ’em again in 2018.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      In the Year 2025, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, we may find

      Obliteration.

    • Suttree

      We don’t have a choice. We have to! Unless you know of another planet that we can move to.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      the tx mom was equally incredulous.

    • Lori

      Yes, we cab survive. We won’t like it, but we’re tough & we’ll do it. We’ll still be here after Orange Manbaby is gone.

    • Yr. Gma

      That scum bucket is still defending the other scum bucket because he thinks he can use him for something. Once the scales tip and Donnie becomes more trouble than he’s worth, all of them will dump him. It’s not loyalty or party, it’s practical ambition.

      • James

        What I don’t understand is the GOP can get everything they want from Mike Pence. The only way it makes sense to me is they might think if Trump goes down he’ll take Pence and Ryan with him. In that case, Ryan’s defence of Trump makes perfect sense (self-preservation).

        • Persistent Demme

          I think your idea that the GOP is worried that Trump will take Pence and Ryan down with him is spot on.

          • Rags

            Dems will be needed to impeach. It HAS to appear bipartisan. The Dems will insist that Ponce be agnewized and the last remaining moderate repub (just sputballin that there is one somewhere) be put in place first.

          • Ms.Moon

            The problem with this type of thinking is Dolt 45 may take a whole lot more of them down with him as well. Republicans will bear the mark of shame of this administration for a long time to come.

    • Persistent Demme

      Yes, this is true, because they put party above country.
      The good news?
      We will survive.
      I live in CA, and it is easier for me to visualize surviving, but already other states are also coming up with creative ways to break from Trump’s edicts.

  • BMW
  • 3FingerPete

    I remember a time I never watched election result coverage. Now I’m constantly hitting refresh on election results for countries I don’t even live in. Is this the new cool?

    http://www.bbc.com/news/election/2017/results

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Bloody well should be, mate.

    • Suttree

      You are just turning into a crotchety old fuck, just like the rest of us.

      • DrBigHead

        And we welcome you!

        • Suttree

          BRB, I have to go take my evening medications.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      It’s the Trump Effect, which also includes sudden, uncontrollable crying and, of course, heavy drinking.

      • Persistent Demme

        The Trump Cautionary Tale Effect: “let’s not let the world think we are a stupid, racist, and xenophobic country.”

    • aktlib101

      I am doing the same thing. I would be so happy if the Brexiteers get pocked in the eye while people start realizing Conservatism is the cancer of the society

    • Three Finger Salute

      I think this might be why Merkins all of a sudden care about “other places.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V5ckcTSYu8

  • Shibusa
    • Lori

      I thought I couldn’t love him any more and then he pulls out the Fargo quote.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Gee, I wonder why that wimp Comey didn’t go directly to the magic cookie tree to tell his lying, treasonous, elf boss that he felt like Trump’s small dick mobster threats felt like obstruction of justice. It makes no sense.

  • BadKitty904

    My hubby texted me, earlier, an excellent point about today’s rodeo:

    Well, it’s pretty clear which side all the smart people are on.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure both sides are saying that.

      • BadKitty904

        But we’re correct.

        • Bongstar420

          Dumb people can be correct. Don’t forget that

      • Bongstar420

        One side is smart people…the other side is “like” smart people.

        Remember that qoute from the trump: “I am, like, a smart person”

        He meant that literally.

  • Le Covfefe Royal

    Trump’s lawyer IS Barry Zuckercorn.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    OK time for puppies. The new grand dog……
    Already giving side eye.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7de37c2f7d18910f6cb2c9d6955585ff48c0fc532b3ea594f5d46111cc58b780.jpg

    • Persistent Demme

      So sweet!
      What kind?

      • SisterArtemis

        Isn’t that an American Floofbomb?

    • DrBigHead

      I don’t know if the trend exists beyond my neighborhood, but it seems like there is an unusual number of small terrier breeds , usually being walked by relatively large men. I include myself in this group. It is so common that I have seriously considered making a book of photographs called “Men Walking Terriers”. Main reason I haven’t started is I think I might get beat up.

    • janecita

      He is so cute!! What breed?

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        Half sheep dog half poodle

        • janecita

          Sheepadoodles are adorable, and really friendly.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      How can you tell? I see no eye at all ;-)

      • janecita

        He is a fluff ball! So adorable.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Is he a Beardie?

  • idiotboy

    He got an overworked public defender with no staff. Attaboy Donny.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      public defender libelz!

    • BadKitty904

      Lionel Hutz was “busy”.

    • jesterpunk

      Remember when the right complained that Hillary was a public defender when she was young? Even Trump complained so he shouldnt even get an over worked public defender.

      • Bongstar420

        God forbid she not start out as a lackey for the rich.

    • Jamoche

      He got the bad lawyer from the afternoon TV lawyer ads: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8_3jS9wd9w

  • janecita

    Every time that Kellyann Conway comes on TV, my husband’s says, “Aaahh, she is so fucking ugly!”

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Every time I say her name it is followed by “that cunt.”

      • janecita

        Lol!

    • TJ Barke

      She looks like a skeksis.

      • janecita

        I loved that movie! I think that she looks like the Crypt Keeper.

  • Bongstar420

    This was the preferable course to that dirty ol’ Clinton who’s husband got a naughty bj at work and was fired for trying to lie about said bj?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    When a flying saucer lands in Washington, D.C., the U.S. Army quickly encircles the spaceship. A humanoid (Michael Rennie) emerges, announcing that he has come in peace.

    When he advances, however, he unexpectedly opens a small cylindrical device and is shot by a nervous soldier.

    A tall robot emerges from the saucer and disintegrates all of the soldiers’ weapons using an energy ray.

    The alien orders Gort, the robot, to stop, then explains that the now-broken device was simply a gift for the President, which would have enabled him “to study life on the other planets”.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23371619427a02271556f8abe45b0e2479622ffd5d642cc4b5d4369d05e56b2d.jpg

    This allegory has been brought to you by Irony™. “When visiting other planets, remember your towel and bring along plenty of Irony™ for that fresh, clean feeling of ‘who are these morons?'”

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
    • Bongstar420

      We are hoping to get this global warming bit moving faster. We elected trumpski to melt the ice caps before we die (millennials)

  • Thiazin Red
  • TJ Barke
  • Joe Beese

    Mrs. Beese has just come through her laminectomy, so all is right in my world – whatever happens in Washington.

    The procedure was performed by, no kidding, a Dr. Spina. Which is like a cardiologist named Ticker.

    • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

      Had my vasectomy done at a clinic where one of the partners is Dr. Richard Chopp.
      But anyway, happy for you and Mrs. B!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        My mom had a podiatrist back in the 60s named, Dr. Footlick.

        • SpideySenser

          Kinky!

    • BadKitty904
    • HorseChestnut

      I once drove by the office of a chiropractor named A. Aachen Back. I think they were lying, though.

      • Bobathonic

        My pappy’s pain doc is Dr Paine.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I know a law office: Sue, Sue, and sons.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      There’s a proctologist in the Houston area named D.R. Butts.

      Wishing Mrs Beese a speedy recovery!

      • Amy!

        First time I drove past the newly-opened offices of Drs. Holder and Raper, OB/GYN, I first did a double-take, then had to pull over to the side of the road to laugh myself senseless.

    • janecita
    • delete your account probably

      I once had a specialist appointment with a Doctor Death.

      • delete your account probably

        Honest to God, I am not making that up.

        • SpideySenser

          Another not made up story … Mr. Senser once had a dentist appointment with a Dr. Aker at 2:30 (tooth-hurty – haha).

          • Rags

            Then there’s my friend’s neighbor, Dr. Bill (last name).

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            You sure it isn’t your neighbor’s friend?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that couldn’t have been a soothing moment.

        • delete your account probably

          Sadly his specialty was dermatology, not supervillainry.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            still…

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I wish her a speedy recovery. Sending warm wishes her way. :)

    • BosGrl

      Great news, Joe. Healthy vibes to Mrs. Beese!

    • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

      Good to hear!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Used to have a veterinarian’s office in the area with a Dr Fox and a Dr Katz.

      We also had Dr Foote, the podiatrist.

      I also recall an ad in the yellow pages for a men’s health clinic with a Dr Weiner.

      The only one I’m surprised about? Dr Stork of “The Doctors” didn’t become an OBGYN.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Great news! Best wishes to Mrs Beese.
      I can one-up your neurologist, Dr Spina. My son was delivered by OB-GYN Dr Hymen. No shit…his colleagues called him “Buster”.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Good to know she is well. I had a room-mate who is now a General Surgeon- Dr. Butcher.

  • Moebym Reborn

    I’ve discovered recently that I really enjoy gardening. Nothing excites me more than seeing a plant sprout new leaves and buds, and seeing flowers slowly unfurl from buds.

    Since dahlias are perennial in my climate, I’ve decided to try my hand at growing them. Instead of buying a tuber to plant, though, I (probably unwisely) acquired my first one from the clearance rack at Lowe’s.

    • Joe Beese

      I planted too much lettuce and now have a 2 by 4 foot carpet of it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Does it match the curtains?

      • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

        We had an invasion of volunteer tomatoes. I foresee frozen pasta sauce later this summer.

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      I LOVE gardening. It’s so soothing. Try some vegetables. Nothing more calming then growing a vegetable, eating it, and then composting the remains.

      • Moebym Reborn

        Unfortunately composting where I live is not a great idea. The heat during the summers will make the compost bin’s contents stink like death, and the neighbors will probably complain to the HOA.

        • AyeDiosDrinko

          You can always save bits for stock!

    • janecita

      Whatever you do, stay away from mint. It took over my herb garden.

      • TJ Barke

        How quaint. It’s taken over significant patches of my lawn.

        • BosGrl

          Upside: It should keep raccoons and squirrels away!

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    The whole “hope” thing is beyond laughable. Somewhere in WaPo today they made fun of how a few days ago were told not to take Trump literally when he says things, and now today we are being told to take Trump’s words literally. Repubs really can’t get it together.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      I’ve been enjoying watching Donald’s lickspittles running around complaining about the media “obsessing” on his tweets because they aren’t official statements, while their boss insists that his tweets contain the real truth.

  • Duchess Gummybuns

    Seriously…how the fuck does a law office representing the President manage to misspell the word “President”?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      A cry for help?

    • jowgajen

      Typo. But … how do they not check before printing?

      • Duchess Gummybuns

        There should be no typos from these people, they’re PAID to get that shit right.

        I’m a nobody, but I won’t put out a single comment online unless I’ve read through it a couple of times. I have sausage fingers, so I kind of have to.

    • BadKitty904

      They graduated from Trump U?

    • Michael R

      The forgot to run it through the covfefe first .

      • Covfefe

        Don’t worry about it. I’ll waive it.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • delete your account probably

        “Bernie Sanders scat porn” is not a mental image I needed right now.

        • TJ Barke

          Any kind of scat porn to be honest…

    • Bill D. Burger

      The word ‘precedent’ probably comes to mind when he thinks of Trump, as in: “Is there any precedent for that fucking, moronic nightmare’s actions and words that I can use to defend him?”

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I think it was Lawrence O’Donnell who had previously made a case for how incompetent Trump’s lawyer is. Trump’s lawyer had filed all those dumb lawsuits in the past on behalf of Trumpkins, if I remember correctly.

    • idiotboy

      little donny may have promised the idiot that he would pay him for the last three jobs if he took this one.
      I have known desperation like this. In the past though long in the past. Restaurant work, failing restaurant work.

  • ken_kukec

    Trump moved on him like a bitch, but he just couldn’t get Comey to the after-dinner ceremony in the Green Room where they prick their fingers, burn the holy card, and take the omerta oath. Sad!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Blood oath libel.

  • BadKitty904

    I’m still obscurely excited about today’s Thomas à Becket shout-out. Is that normal?

    • Picabo

      Come out, damned spot! Out, I command you!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Out! Out!

    • Sheepshagger

      Lets all pour one out for our dead Homie, Tomas, Repping the Canterbury 40s.

      • BadKitty904

        Our bruv, The Turbulent T.

  • Left Coast Tom

    It’s interesting how Infrastructure Week has flowed so smoothly into Obstruction of Justice Week.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Infrawhat?

      • Covfefe

        Donald clipped the tip. Just before he slipped it in. Which is Donald’s trademarked Trojan.

    • Michael R

      Infrastructure Week was retitled ” Trojan Horse Of Privatization “

  • BadKitty904

    Another treat to look forward to – no matter how closely the capos and consiglieres watch him, Don Trumpleone WILL find a way to Tweet about this.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m wondering if trump will go a full 24 hours without tweeting….has it ever been done before?!? (by trump I mean).

      • BadKitty904

        Depends on what kind of tranquilizers they used.

        • Rasilom

          I would recomend an elephant tranq to the neck. Not sure that would keep it (yes I said it, I do not accept that orange thingamajig as a human male) from tweeting for at least 24 hours.

          • Sheepshagger

            Maybe give him two. The doctrine of double effects will keep your soul clean doc.

          • BadKitty904

            Worth a try.

        • Lambsendbeds

          We could get some of the carfentanil (elephant tranquilizer) that the dealers are lacing heroin with, sprinkle some of it on one of those cakes we like, and add it to Trump’s Happy Meal.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      “I have the right to expect loyalty. Nothing wrong with that! Must be loyal to President!”

      • BadKitty904

        Goddamn FBI don’t respect nothin’.

        ~ Sonny Corleone

  • Rachel Book Harlot
  • ken_kukec

    Potus telling you that he “hopes you can see your way clear to letting this go” is about as precatory as a mobbed-up builder saying “I hope you can see your way clear to not bidding against us on this contract.”

    • Jamoche

      “precatory” New word of the day for me. Everyone go look it up on merriam-webster so they have more snark ammo.

  • Michael R
    • Left Coast Tom

      That would be midnight here in California…I think I’ll just wait for the snark.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Trump never hates himself in the morning, but everybody else does.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Yeah – we on PT time,will be awake, but I would fuck a rusty Garden Weasel before I’d follow Kim Jong Orange on Twitter. I just wait for the sarcastic retweets.

    • janecita

      Not me, I don’t give three flying fucks about his senile thoughts.

      • Rasilom

        I will see your 3 flying fucks and reduce it to I dont give 1 flying fuck. Dog damn that Shitgibbon just wears me out.

    • Covfefe

      I nominate Tx Dep’t of Space Tacos. He never sleeps.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        me libelz!

        I just happen to be erratic.

        • Covfefe

          No not libels. You’re a limited purpose public figure. Requires actual malice. You’ll never prove it.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            (checking notes…)

            FOILED AGAIN!

            (Also, admittedly, being fired has not been good for me).

  • steve damon

    Mr. Kasowitz (the ambulance chaser in question) also has been working for the Russians, as a litigator for Russia’s largest state run bank, Sberbank.

    • BadKitty904

      Imagine my surprise. Go on – imagine it.

      • Amy!

        Inconceivable!

      • steve damon

        I can try, but it looks fake to me. I, too, was flummoxed.

    • TJ Barke

      Of course he was. Trump can’t even get a lawyer that doesn’t have borscht, so to speak, all over him.

      • steve damon

        Cynical bastard that I am, I can’t help but wonder if possibly certain payment arrangements have been made to guarantee prompt and full payment to Mr. Kasowitz, seeing as how his clients seem to have a boatload of mutual interests. But I’m sure it’s all on the up and up.

    • I love how Rachel giggles whilst attempting to pronounce that bank

  • Claire

    Damn. Karl Rove shivved Trump in the Wall Street Journal: https://www.wsj.com/articles/political-death-by-1-000-tweets-1496875182

    Obviously the correct response is “Shut up, Karl Rove,” but it’s interesting to consider Rove using his ratfuckery for good for once in his life. He’s old, he’s going to have to explain himself to God soon and he might want that “I dethroned Donald Trump” card up his sleeve.

    • Bobathonic

      HAHAHAHA! There’s an explanation, but I bet one amero it ain’t that Karl “Turdblossom” Rove came down with a case of the conscience.

      • SisterArtemis

        More likely trying to stay afloat

        • Claire

          Or trying to stay relevant somehow.

    • steve damon

      When the House of Bush folded, I guess Karl became a courtier without a court. I can understand his desire for a little payback.

  • aktlib101

    Brits woke up (apparently) and gave the middle finger to their version of Republicanism. It is inspiring to read the live comments section on The Guardian. People have hope! This could be us in Nov 2018, if Dems get their shit together and we win back the House or Senate to slow down this madness
    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/live/2017/jun/08/general-election-results-2017-uk-live-labour-tories-corbyn-may-election-results-live-news-line

    • HazooToo

      I’ve tried a few times to untangle the maze of British politics, but I still really don’t understand what each party actually wants in voters’ minds. I just really hope that whoever they end up with doesn’t fuck everyone’s shit up, like we’ve got going on here. They’re already Brexiting, and if the next person they elect doesn’t stop that, then they need to be competent and compassionate enough to make it work out for the best.

      • aktlib101

        I don’t know much about British politics either. All I know is the Tories want same thing Republicans want here (austerity, privatization, tax cuts for the rich) so Labour are the “good” guys in my book. In addition, Brits were stupid enough to vote Brexit last year (campaign of disinformation, Russian fake news, etc) so anyone other than the Tories would be better qualified if not to stop Brexit, at least to get a deal that keeps Britain close to Europe. I thought Brexit was the stupidest political vote of this young century, but then we voted Trump, so we are the “best”

        • HazooToo

          My dearest, bestest friend is a Tory, which is really utterly bizarre, because she resembles anything BUT a Republican in her views and values. I mean, we rp gay smut together ffs! She’s also very young and isn’t really as into politics as I am, so that may have something to do with it. She did vote ‘leave’, but her reasoning was ‘Fuck Brussels’ and not ‘I hate immigrants’.

          • aktlib101

            Heh, right, “fuck Brussels”, cause 70 years of relative stability, peace and prosperity in Europe was too good, so let’s break it into pieces. Blame Europe for the failed policies of your own elected officials. Sure, Europe has it’s problems, but working together we can make it better, divided we all lose.

          • HazooToo

            Some other person around here also supported ‘leave’, but I can’t remember who it was. They put things in a lot more detail than my friend did, and it kind of made more sense. I’m sorry I can’t remember shit now. But ultimately, leaving the EU doesn’t have to break anything, provided the right person is running the show and the people don’t make any MORE stupid decisions in the meantime. I’m not sure May is the right person.

        • Three Finger Salute

          The Tories, aka Crappers (Conservative Reform Alliance Party) or Harpies, are the same in Canada. Austerity measures, hate for minorities and immigrants, and giving the Rebel Media asshole free rein to toot his horn out his ass is all they got. Their latest golden boy is another throwback to the Harperreich. Apparently “Why so serious?” is his campaign slogan.

          https://4.bp.blogspot.com/–Ym2zy_pgsU/WTJp0XVrIsI/AAAAAAABMPU/TeoRe0oSvNQyF3mwZAt0Y6GL5zQfuOu_gCLcB/s640/scheer%2Brecord.jpg

          Unless something really goes haywire in the system, Justin will be PM until he’s 90. Hopefully he doesn’t end up with Pierre’s hair, though.

    • Amy!

      I was about to ask, since it’s open thread season: anyone else here following the British election?

      Pretty interesting, so far. I haven’t seen an incumbent turfed out yet, I don’t think?

      • Jamoche

        I’m following @harryslaststand on Twitter – he’s the coolest oldest guy on Twitter – and he’s political (and very much “don’t let the ratfuckers take us back to the days when my sister died in a poorhouse”) so I’m following it at one remove.

    • Me The People

      It’s a disaster for May, whatever happens now.

    • Blackest Noobs

      yes….IF Dems get their shit together. doesn’t look like it…but yes….IF

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Yeeeeeah. There’s one big difference between Americans and Britons. Take it away Noel Fielding.

      http://i.imgur.com/KWEec.jpg

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        when i was getting ready to move to chicago, I assume it was a 3 hour train ride to NYC.

        Texans are not known for their knowledge of geography.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I’ve taken that train ride, I do not recommend it unless you pony up for a sleeper car.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh luv – i rode from the edges of texas to chicago, twice. Took 49 hours. It was quite an adventure. (A NSFW adventure at some points).

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Sexxxytimes on the train? That sounds much more fun my train trip.

      • I fucking love Noel

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I like how the Daily News is going for understated subtly these days
    https://twitter.com/sahilkapur/status/872964281536585730/photo/1

    • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

      I feel like they’re trying to make some subtle point here…

      • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

        But what are the baseball scores from last night?

        • yyyaz

          15-3, 2-1, 7-5, 4-0, delayed by rain.

        • Persistent Demme

          Panamanian Strongman John “Walnuts” McCain wants to know where the Diamondbacks are in the standings.

    • JoeChristmas

      He lied about the wire “tapp”

  • Wait, is it unpresidented for a predisent to have such a poor lawyer?

    • Bill D. Burger

      For some reason Harriet Miers came to mind. She was, however, competent enough….just not, as she quickly found out, SCOTUS material.

      http://www.bartcop.com/brill-ban-monkey.jpg

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Curious George….

  • idiotboy

    From Digby,

    Thursday, June 08, 2017

    Trump sure seemed to understand tarmac protocols

    by digby

    Paul Ryan covering for Trump today by saying he’s just too stupid to know what inappropriate contact is:

    “The president is new at this,” Ryan said. “He’s new to government. And
    so he probably wasn’t steeped into the long going protocols that
    established the relationships between DOJ, FBI, and White Houses.”

    When a reporter questioned why that’s an “acceptable excuse,” given that
    Trump has a staff and counsel that should have been informed, Ryan
    reiterated that Trump did not know what he was doing.

    “He’s new at government,” Ryan said. “Therefore I think he is learning as he goes.”

    Here’s a random smattering of quotes
    from Donald Trump during the campaign about Loretta Lynch meeting with
    Bill Clinton on the tarmac for 30 minutes. He seemed to understand the
    protocols quite well and had no trouble making all kinds of accusations
    about it:

    “…Because of this highly-inappropriate meeting at best, the
    Attorney General took herself essentially out of the case and put
    Director Comey in charge of making decisions, you saw that
    decision-making process. So why is she now allowed to fight so hard to
    get someone who is so obviously guilty on so many different fronts off
    the hook? In fact, it was publicly reported that sources close to
    Hillary Clinton said, and she actually I think said it to the papers,
    that she was thinking of reappointing Attorney General Lynch. She was
    thinking, she said it; I mean it was a statement she made. And
    effectively, I guess you’d call that a bribe, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t
    that be called a bribe? How could she say they’re going to make a
    decision on her and you’re talking about you’re going to reappoint? She
    said it publicly, I believe….” Nov ’16

    “…I would think he probably talked about appointing her as the
    Attorney General if Hillary wins this election, and you’re not allowed
    to do that. And they were very embarrassed. And they thought it would be
    something where they could sneak on and sneak off. And I’ve had a plane
    for a long time, I’ve never had anybody stop it, get on, come off, on
    the tarmac. Doesn’t happen.” Oct ’16

    “…So went onto the plane on the tarmac, and right on the tarmac,
    and they had a meeting for 45 minutes, right before she was supposed to
    issue her judgment on Hillary and maybe Bill. Bill could be a target,
    who knows? Because of what’s going on….” Oct ’16

    “…Americans have had it with the years and decades of Clinton
    corruption. And I will tell you, what happened with the Attorney General
    of the United States [Inaudible] airplane in Arizona. When he was going
    to be playing golf, very hot. I don’t think he was going to be playing
    golf. Just happened to meet her, happened to be on the tarmac, said,
    let’s say hello. Stayed for 39 minutes and talked about golf and his
    grandchildren. He didn’t talk about golf and he didn’t talk about his
    grandchildren, unless it was a minute of two….”Oct ’16

    How can the Attorney General be involved in this case or tell the
    FBI what to do when the Attorney General violated sanctity of law by
    secretly meeting with Bill Clinton, the husband of the possible target
    of the investigation and a possible target himself, in an airplane on
    the tarmac in Arizona? Remember, he was going to play golf, remember?
    But he just happened to be at the airport hanging around and the
    Attorney General’s plane drove by, right, and he said oh isn’t that
    their plane, oh yes, gee let’s say hello, let’s say hello. It was a
    chance meeting they said, right….”Oct ’16

    • RobKanC

      The “illegals” who have lived in this country for like 2 years understand that the law enforcement is something that you don’t mess with. But I am supposed to believe that the white guy who has lived here his entire life doesn’t know he is not supposed to interfere in probes. Right and I am Luke Skywalker.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    “Is he really a tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d3d50509f41dff42ba5caf38f4ab5af11ecdc501c911926b758d3b797c101090.jpg

  • Michael R
  • Me The People

    Looks like Theresa May may have gambled unwisely. So far it appears she has fucked rather than extended her majority. Malcolm Tucker would have called her an omnishambles. “From bean to cup – you fuck up!”

  • CripesAmighty

    Having secured legal counsel, Trump flips through the yellow pages, his stubby finger next landing on ‘Eddie’s Bail Bonds and Towing’.

  • Blackest Noobs

    1st rule of Lawyering…you get PAID.
    2nd rule of Lawyering….YOU GET PAID.

    apparently Trump’s lawyer missed that memo in Law Club.

    • yyyaz

      He was Preznit of the Oder of the Queef, too.

  • Picabo
    • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

      So awesome. I send Mrs. JustDont the link this morning.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Wow, I didn’t know moonlight was sufficient to cause the Firefall effect on Horsetail falls!

  • Rick Hill

    You know how we talk about atheists not needing to fear gawd to keep from doing terrible things? Well, we see what republicans will do when they feel that trump is suspending the rule of law. There isn’t much holding them back from plundering and looting
    https://i.redditmedia.com/2SsKuCbFhOfnM-fMNgw6BvcppJ4ms0wkl2Vlrh3o76A.jpg?w=320&s=bc0ebec671f31a95004df26890ff7e6a

    • Bobathonic

      He’s right there.

      He’s also somewhat of an asshole, but right in that case.

      • Three Finger Salute

        He gave his daughter a racehorse name. “Moxie Crimefighter”. Dunno what kind of drugs he made disappear when he came up with that one.

      • He’s frightfully interesting as a speaker. I saw him and Teller during a Q&A session after Teller’s movie, “Tim’s Vermeer” at the film fest

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I know the wingnutosphere are all legal experts these days with their ace interpretation of “I hope” not implying a threat, but apparently there is some legal precedent that contradicts their expert judgement:
    https://twitter.com/adamliptak/status/872835418194157568

    • CripesAmighty

      Not surprising given that the ‘Breitbart Bar”‘s syllabus consists of a VHS box set of ‘Matlock’.

  • memzilla Ω

    I hope everyone enjoyed their traditional Comeymas dinner of cooked goose, orange squash, mashed peetatoes, and roasted nuts.

    • Paperless Tiger

      With punkin’ pie.

      • yyyaz

        And two scoops of ImPeachMint ice cream.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Thanks to Blobfish planting the seed in my head yesterday, I’ve been humming “Santa Comey, slip a subpoena under the tree for me.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Jeffnuts roasting on an open fire….

    • timpundit

      We carved a rotting pumpkin then peed on it as is the way of my people.

  • I shall arrive to the Detroit drinky thing bearing Canadian snacks: Ketchup chips, Coffee Crisp Bars, and Maple Leaf Cookies

    • Crank Tango

      Don’t forget the bag of homo milk!

    • Left Coast Tom

      I thought southern Ontario produced, at least some, wine?

      • Yr. Gma

        Niagara on the Lake has some nice vineyards.

      • We do. The liquor store was farther away than i had time to walk to

      • janecita

        Ice wine also

    • Yr. Gma

      Is it illegal to take Timbits out of the country?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Is it true that Timmies’ coffee is (or is at least reminiscent of) runoff from the Alberta tar sands?

      • Dunno. I am a hethen tea drinker

      • Yr. Gma

        Bite your heathen tongue.

        • Three Finger Salute

          LOL, soory ^_^ I only ask because, many years ago we had a small number of Tim Hortons open up in New England, but they closed down quickly because people who were used to Dunkin Donuts said the coffee was terrible. Apparently, the opinion is evenly split on the Canada subreddit too.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Whew! I just robbed a liquor store. The bad news is I got got red-handed in the act. The good news? I just told the cops I didn’t realize I was doing anything wrong, and they let me go with all the beer! Is this a great country or what?

    • Yr. Gma

      “I’m new at this.”

      • Raan

        “It’s my first day.”

      • janecita

        Jinx!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “I’m an outsider from the world of honest people.”

    • janecita

      The only thing wrong with that story is that you were stealing beer, but hey, you are “new at this!”

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      If you had blamed Hillary Clinton, they would have emptied out the register for you! The more you know…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Good call! Maybe you can join me on my next heist?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Done!

  • RobKanC

    News from our Cousin(Father?) across the Pond. The Tories are in real danger of losing their majority. Brexit might fail.

    • aktlib101

      Yay. Next to fall will be the Trumpenfuhrer

  • Bill D. Burger

    Mumbles splains’ himself: He wuz’ up late watchin’ baseball.
    His point: “If you could elaborate on Mrs. Clinton’s emails why can’t you elaborate on whether you believe Trump committed obstruction of justice?”

    Really Mac? Hell, what happened? Sounds simple enough. rotfl

    https://twitter.com/RobertBryan4/status/872885555738161152

  • Raan

    UK update – We have a result that isn’t a hold. Specifically, Labour took Rutherglen and Hamilton West from the Scottish National Party.

    • The Wanderer

      Oooh!

      • Raan

        Current standings are Labour 22, Conservatives 9, Dem. Unionists 2, SNP 1, Other 1.

        • Sheepshagger

          The Monster Raving Loony Party got outplayed on their own manor.

        • BosGrl

          The rest of the world sees how the US screwed up and is saying DO NOT WANT.

          • Claire

            Exactly. We scared the piss out of the entire world with the speed at which we went from a world leader to a friendless loser that Canada only hangs out with anymore because they’re nice and feel sorry for us.

        • suziq

          How long until you have a final count do you think?

          • Raan

            Well, BBC says the count will probably be in by around 5 AM, which would be around midnight Eastern Time.

          • suziq

            Thanks! I found a BBC site with current updates. Looks like there is a long way to go.

    • Jennifer R

      I hear Labour took Nick Clegg’s seat too!

      • Raan

        His seat hasn’t come in yet, but I hear he’s in danger.

        • Jennifer R

          Looks like the guardian just called his seat against him now.

          • Raan

            Yeah, BBC just called it too.

    • CripesAmighty

      Wonder how May’s holding up right about now?
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZGknK7w_6A

    • TootsStansbury

      This sounds like a good thing. Is it a good thing?

      • Raan

        It could be. There were expectations that SNP would lose seats to the Conservatives.

  • delete your account probably
    • The Wanderer

      Way to call a spade a spade. Trump = Lying Liar What Lies.

      • TJ Barke

        Lies and the lying liars who tell them.

    • delete your account probably

      Oh someone already posted this.

    • Suttree

      Seriously. When I hop on the subway I will not sit next to anyone reading The Post.

    • TundraGrifter

      President Trump is a lying liar who tells lies – this is “news?”

      • Nounverb911

        The Daily News needs to spell it out for the NY Post readers that think trump is the bees knees.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Darth Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go,”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4d89131de00822d4597d77f27b7a1d56b586eaad60f778cdcc53a28920ae076.jpg

    • Three Finger Salute

      Return of the Dope.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “The Farce Awakens”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      It’s all Jar Jar Binks, all the time. The BEST people.

  • Delu

    Well we are seeing exactly what we expected to see from Trumpians. They are spinning however which way to deny and/or deflect from what’s actually being said by Comey.

    Because Comey CANNOT be right! It is Trump that is in the right!

    Working from there, the result is what we see above.

  • Mary Theresa
  • Me The People

    I’ve got to say, this election is turning out way better for Labour than I thought. Looks like the polling throughout has been off (again – but this time in the opposite direction!). The Guardian’s final poll this morning had the Tories ahead by 12 points.

    So strange, only a couple of months since the local elections in which the Tories, totally in line with polls, soundly beat Labour. WTF pollsters?

    • Edith Prickly

      The Trump effect?

      • Me The People

        Well, May has been pretty craven towards not only Trump, but also people like Erdogan and even Duterte – I like to think maybe the youth vote came out to vote against her in disgust?

    • Jamoche

      Missed out on the Trump influence, especially after the London attack: http://www.newyorker.com/news/john-cassidy/theresa-mays-donald-trump-problem

      Why was May so reluctant to criticize Trump directly? “We know that Trump can only cope with unctuous flattery and that, satisfying as it may be to criticise him, doing so isn’t likely to advance the UK’s interests vis a vis its relationship with the United States,” the columnist Alex Massie noted, in The Spectator. “So Mrs May says nothing, even though saying nothing makes her look terrible. This is no time for a showboating Prime Minister, she might say, and she might have half a point. But it still looks weak and miserable and craven and all kinds of rotten.”

      And these are Brits, so “all kinds of rotten” is about as damning as you can get.

      • Me The People

        Part of her bullshit fantasy that Brexit Britain can replace European trade by trading with (and standing with) our ‘new friends’ in the global dictators club.

      • Amy!

        The Tories were also “blessed” with terrorist incidents, which normally would accrue to their electoral benefit, as the party of law ‘n’ order. This utterly failed to work out for May, though, because in her earlier career as a minister, she led the charge to cut funding for policing and to reduce the size of the force. Her attempt to sound hawkish, claiming that security beats human rights, didn’t make her sound forceful; it made her sound like a fucking dangerous nut.

        Corbyn’s been playing up how clean and policy-driven a campaign he’s run, too. Notably, though this is a called rather than long-scheduled election, turnout is up.

        Also, UKIP has apparently collapsed completely. It looks like their former supporters have defected in almost equal numbers to Conservative and Labour parties. That’s weird, to me, but maybe easier for folks who live there to understand?

        • CripesAmighty

          My guess is that the whole ‘poke the establishment in the eye’ business sounded a bit thrilling in the abstract, but in view of the raging-dumpster-fire-horror-shit-show across the pond in practice, rendered it perhaps a little less so: “ummm, maybe not…”

  • TundraGrifter

    Just for the record: “This is beyond a nothingburger. This is a treasonburger…”