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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

A terrorist attack in London claimed the lives of seven people this weekend, causing Prime Minister Theresa May to push for potential controversial increases in security as the U.K. heads towards elections.

Trump was up bright and early this morning to start bitching on Twitter about his Muslim ban I mean, Travel ban err…travel restrictions on Muslim-majority countries, effectively neutering his argument for the SCOTUS.

Job vacancies across the federal government are becoming a concern for law enforcement officials and emergency service personnel who are wondering what, if anything, is Donald Trump’s counter-terrorism plan beyond some mean tweets.

Shortly after Trump snatched the election, Sergey Gorkov was meeting with several large US banks to push the awesomeness of Russia’s state-owned bank, then met with Prince Kushner who, interestingly enough, had just met with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak. I wonder what they were talking about?

Trump’s white House is trying to scrub and hide information commonly used for congressional oversight, and Democrats are pissed.

President Bannon’s creepy policy project has died because of his on-going slap fight with Prince Kushner and a lack of Ameros to spy monitor Mike Flynn.

Trump has applied for an extension on his 2016 taxes. MOVE ALONG! Nothing to see here, ya lookie-loos!

Trump wants privatize air traffic controllers, likely in an effort to single-handedly fuck up air travel more than Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, combined.

The CBO is estimating the cost of updating the nuclear arsenal at $1.2 trillion, and that has nuclear, finance and foreign policy specialists sitting very uncomfortably this morning.

Facebook and Twitter want to fight terrorists with robots and humans who can I.D. potential threats, and scrub hate speech from their platforms, but there’s no word on whether or not they’ll ban Donald Trump and the Pepe people.

The tech industry’s over-hyped black sheep Trumpkin, Palmer Lucky, has partnered with Peter Thiel to create a new digital tortilla curtain on the Internet. It’s not racist, it’s just anti-Not-America — and skews in favor of white people.

Two Marines were arrested at a pro-Confederate rally in North Carolina after they climbed a roof and displayed a white nationalist banner, but they maintain they were only filming counter-protesters who keep trying to out-sex all the white people in America.

Portland saw its own Nazi rally this weekend where the assholes were on full display.

Another wrestling villain is running for political office as a libertarian, but he’s leaving his bad guy mask at home (for now).

The mayor of London brushed off Donald Trump’s tweet because he’s actually a leader who has shit to do beyond throwing out insults and threats on Twitter like a 12 year-old in desperate need of adult supervision.

Multiple Middle Eastern countries have cut off Qatar and are accusing it of financing terrorist groups like ISIS/IS/ISL/whatever.

Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei criticized Saudi Arabia and threw shade at Donald Trump, essentially calling his electoral win pathetic and small. DAAMMNN!

Vladimir Putin sat down with with Megyn Kelly for a weird interview where he bitched a lot, and denied dicking with the U.S. election…again.

Somebody let Kellyanne Conway climb out of the sewer to appear on teevee again and it went about as well as every other appearance she’s had so far. (It was pretty bad.)

Dame Peggington Noonington pulled over her gin-soaked horse-drawn carriage and displayed her most recent ink-stained parchment declaring Hillary Clinton to be a lie-peddling bitch with emotional problems. [Archive]

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Seth Meyers and Ellie Kemper offer up some Nice Time tips; John Oliver ‘splainerized the Paris Climate Accords; Chelsea Handler had some talky time with Sen. Al Franken.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! A baby narrow-striped mongoose! They’re from Madagascar, and currently endangered because of deforestation, but they’re still hanging on!
Hey! If you liked this, then maybe give us money from the clickeys below!

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  • BadKitty904

    America the Cowardly, under the GOP. Bin Laden must be laughing his ass off in Hell.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Home of the Brave” my ass.

      • BadKitty904

        Not any more. Nor “Land of the Free”. Both thanks to the Republican Party.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Land of the Covfefe(TM)

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Home of the scaredy cats.

        Just for the record, I’m not afraid of terrorism in the USA. There are plenty of real things to fear: like idiot gun owners and idiot drivers.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Having a manbaby with access to the launch codes is enough for me.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I’m a little afraid. Of him and this Congress. Does that count?

    • Jim Johnson

      Yes, be afraid… very afraid. They will find a way to make things worse. They always do.

  • Teecha

    Well. Things here in the desert are getting interesting.

    Hope it’s all sorted before I go home for the summer hols!

  • Nounverb911
    • beingreleased

      Maybe I don’t word good, but aren’t “suggest” and “obscure” opposites?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Good observation! Not precise opposites, but you’re right – they’re different processes. One (suggest) brings forth a heretofore-nonexistent idea, and the other means to muddy up something that’s already there. Strange word!

        • MrTusks

          Maybe it refers to a suggestion of something performed in an effort to obscure something else?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Hmm. Perhaps. Or are you trying to adumbrate the direction of this discussion… ?

          • MrTusks

            Example: Suggesting there are “tapes” of a discussion that you were prefer is not discussed?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Gasp. Are you suggesting that Merriam-Webster is casting oblique aspersions on our beloved President?

          • MrTusks

            How dare you adumbrate such a thing!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Just as “fast” means something that runs good or doesn’t run at all. ;)

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Aren’t there loads of words in english that means one thing and also its opposite ?

    • Cock Blockula

      And all this time I assumed it was a new word invented to describe the dumbing down of America since 1980.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    …what, if anything, is Donald Trump’s counter-terrorism plan beyond some mean tweets.

    BEYOND? C’mon. None of the cool kids are sitting at Daesh’s cafeteria table at lunch. Results!

  • bookish

    Trump deliberately omitted language affirming NATO article 5.

    http://nbcnews.to/2rCrq2d

    • Jim Johnson

      He must have let Putin edit the speech to highlight Trumpy’s artful dealings.

    • cmd resistor

      Asswipe.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Trump wants privatize air traffic controllers”

    How is this a priority? If we’re doing infrastructure, how about we start with the collapsing bridges and dangerously lumpy interstate roads?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Selling off pieces of the government is always a GOP priority.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        You don’t have to sell anything off. It could become a government corporation or non-profit funded through fees on planes using the airports.

        Yeah, I know. I don’t trust these schmucks to do it right either.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      It’s not a priority except that Congress creates its own problems with funding like they did with sequestration, etc.

      The idea of this president and this congress mucking with air safety gives me the heebie jeebies because I doubt it would be orderly, it would probably be along the lines of UK’s problematic for-profit model which has had notable failures, etc.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So, do they get to unionize?

    • Nounverb911

      Simple, new ‘air traffic control’ fee on every ticket sold.

      • Querolous

        The longer that your plane needs to wait to land or take off the more you get to pay.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Supreme court will be to blame if they do not approve my Muslim Ban before TERIBLE things happen in USA.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • BadKitty904
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sometimes fear is a liar. Other times, the wasp’s nest in your ceiling tiles falls to the floor and breaks open at your feet, and fear is George Washington.

      • BosGrl

        Yikes

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    George Will was bitching about government funding of PBS again, Noonington is on her Clinton bashing band wagon. Its after Memorial Day and summer repeat season is upon us.

    • BadKitty904

      What else have they got?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s moved on from screeching about FDR and the New Deal then? That’s progress!

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Job vacancies across the federal government are becoming a concern for law enforcement officials and emergency service personnel who are wondering what, if anything, is Donald Trump’s counter-terrorism plan beyond some mean tweets.”

    If he tweets “radical Islamic terrorism,” is that not enough?

    • BadKitty904

      Gof forbid there’s an actual, national emergency or disaster. But then the GOP will just blame the resulting death and carnage on Bamz, Hillary, and the Dems.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        As long as no golf courses are damaged by fires, hurricanes, or tornados, it’s all good.

        • BadKitty904

          And/or Trump properties.

      • Jim Johnson

        That’s all they’ve got. Absolutely nothing constructive, positive, or effective. Just trash talk.

        • BadKitty904

          The GOP: Party of Fear.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          They’ve long since given up the whole idea of “governing,” in favor of “pouting, blame-throwing, lying, and obstruction.”

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        But if anybody has the temerity to point out that that’s what they’re doing, Chuck Todd will leap before the nearest camera to proclaim with some asperity that Democrats are just “playing the blame game.”

        • BadKitty904

          Anyone who listens to Chuck Todd gets what they deserve.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      There’s no pleasing some people.

    • Nounverb911
  • ManchuCandidate

    Semper Fi… unless you’re not white.

    • nightmoth

      One of my most racist cousins is an ex-marine.

  • Nounverb911
    • Celtic_Gnome

      I like John Oliver pointing out the guy who took his pint with him when he evacuated the pub after the attack. Republicans wouldn’t do that, because whatever beer they’d already consumed would already be outside their bodies and on their pants.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Little Babby Donnie’s latest Gallup Daily Tracking poll is almost worst (for him) evah!

    Approve/disapprove: 36/58 (-22)

    Who are these 36%? OH WAIT! I found a picture…
    http://www.memeit.net/files/e/8/6/e/1eb003cd19768a369082c35dd95c-yokels.jpg

    • nightmoth

      Slate has an interview today with a writer who says the Democrats will never get the white working class back if we keep making fun of them. So I guess I’m elitist for upvoting you for posting this meme.

      • Left Coast Tom

        In that case, maybe the Democratic Party should prioritize flipping NC, GA, FL, and AZ.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
        • nightmoth

          Ha! It really is both, isn’t it? In my life right now the Trumpanzees I know include (1) every single white uneducated man in my husband’s rural fire department (and they DO fit every stereotype including putting Confederate flags on their trucks) and (2) my husband’s crop of older cousins, who are all wealthy, college-educated, smug, self-righteous Republicans. So, yeah, both memes fit.

      • MrTusks

        Maybe if the white working class stopped being so stupid, we’d stop making fun of them!

    • BadKitty904
      • coozledad

        How dare you disrespect his right to use the N-word. It’s all he’s got, besides his shitty drawers.

        • Stulexington

          Er I mean it’s all he’s got and look at my new drawers.

  • Major_Major_Major

    I know this doesn’t get said nearly as often as it should, but fuck Trump and his merry gang of racist fucktards and kleptocrats.

  • Nounverb911
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Vulture libelz.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Needs moar shit dripping beneath him.

  • goonemeritus

    The only thing we have to fear is Trump himself.

  • nightmoth

    Here’s another for today’s stew: the Democrat, Kim Weaver, who was running against Steve King in Iowa, has quit the campaign due to ongoing death threats against her.

    • BadKitty904

      Steve King has, of course, spoken out strongly and repeatedly against said threats and publicly condemned the criminals behind them, yes?

    • NastyBossetti

      This is definitely a sign of a healthy, well-functioning democracy.

    • But if her name is on the ballot can’t she still technically win?

      • nightmoth

        I don’t know the date of the election, so maybe the ballots aren’t printed. He’s now running unopposed.

    • snark-lurker

      and what’s the FBI doing about it? anything?

      • nightmoth

        Nothing that we know about. Maybe nothing.

  • bookish

    Thanks, Dominic, for all the adorable little ones every morning.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Randy Riddle

    Wait … isn’t Qatar one of the few middle eastern countries that Trump Inc. doesn’t have a financial relationship with?

    • Teecha

      Well, there’s no trump hotel here

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        “I’m not putting a yuge, beautiful, chocolate-cake-filled hotel in something named ‘Cat-hair’. Sad.”

    • Why quash business opportunities for growth? Oh yeah the Trump-touch to turn gold into skittles….

    • PubOption

      “My doctor said that I have no problems with catarrh.”

  • coozledad

    Kushner says “Republicans will believe birtherism because they are stupid, education resistant racist fucks who will all end up shooting themselves in the dick while trying to wipe their ass with a handgun, and If you think I’ll feel bad about stealing their social security and medicare, you haven’t talked to my other employees. Seriously. These people are shit-eating dumb, and they’ll vote for whatever bloated fuck yells racist shit the loudest”

    https://twitter.com/AriMelber/status/871527653144240128

    • Ryan Denniston

      You could tell them they’re stupid morons in the middle of Fifth Avenue and they’d still vote for him.

      • coozledad

        They like being browbeaten and humiliated, and they deserve every fucking minute of the most execrable aspects of their loathsome existences.

        I hate it when these pissmouths talk about ‘freedom” They’re the essence of slavery.

    • bookish

      But Jared and Ivanka are first in line to get a slice of the grift. They’re on the same level.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “President Bannon’s creepy policy project has died because of his on-going slap fight with Prince Kushner and a lack of Ameros to spy monitor Mike Flynn.”

    Yeah, until, and I’m just speculating here, Price Jared get’s “You’re Fired!” because he’s revealed to be the beneficiary of a yuuuge loan from a Russian bank for his overpriced Manhattan building and is being influenced by that bank to maintain the loan.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m guessing Trump started every morning at his company by assembling the various flunkeys and lickspittles he’d hired to scream at and humiliate them. He’s trying to run the country the same way…although to be fair, it seems to work with the flunkeys and lickspittles in Congress.

    • MrTusks

      You think he actually went through the effort of assembling a meeting?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Good point. More likely just wanders through the office in his bathrobe, eating ice cream and ranting.

  • thewalkindude

    “Multiple fatality incident” at a business in Orlando this morning…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The travel ban would have prevented it, I’m sure. Damn the courts!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Disgruntled employee, so the odds are good he was white.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m holding off commenting on this till I hear what Drumpf has to say…

  • BadKitty904
    • Beowoof14

      And Donnie is doing his best to scare the shit out of people.

      • BadKitty904

        He – and the GOP – have literally nothing else to motivate people with.

    • Jim Johnson

      Hate is the cowardly response to fear.
      They are consumed by fear… and greed.

  • Mpeg

    From Nooningtonshire, the opening heading:

    Oddly, she seems completely sincere, as if she believes the alternative facts she’s peddling.

    THEN she begins thus:

    “I don’t want to beat up on Hillary Clinton.”

    Yet that’s exACTLy what you’re doing with the rest of your column, you graceless, witch-eyed, smug, loathesome, untalented scribble-twat!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I can’t wait for today’s Dame Peggington takedown.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Job vacancies across the federal government are becoming a concern for law enforcement officials and emergency service personnel who are wondering what, if anything, is Donald Trump’s counter-terrorism plan beyond some mean tweets.

    Apparently just tweeting about it is good enough. I am so glad the plan to defeat ISIS in 30 days has totally been carried out!

  • Crystalclear12

    They want to fire Reince Priebus but can’t find anyone to take the job.
    That’s funny.

    • Ryan Denniston

      What happens when the hostage takes the hostage taker hostage?

    • Me not sure

      If Reince didn’t show up for work for weeks at a time would anybody really miss him? I doubt it.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        We would

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Toadying lickspittles are no longer a dime a dozen.
      Thanks, Obama!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’ve wondered on and off for years now what attributes Obvious Anagram (h/t Charles Pierce) Reince Priebus has that make him employable. He’s not only bad at every job he’s done in public but he’s off-putting in a way that should have made his rise above assistant night manager at the Fargo Wal-fart an impossible dream.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    Republicans are all such pusillanimous wretches that I wonder how they perform the basic functions of life while they quake in FEAR.

    Hey, MAGA-hatters and Trumpkins? Did you know you can get an aneurysm in your what-I-laughingly-may refer to as your “brain” while pushing out a deuce?

    Be afraid!

    • Bemused Australian
    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      That’s a great idea. Let’s scare them shitless until they have stress-induced strokes and heart attacks.

      Hey, MAGAssholes, be afraid, be very afraid. The world is a terrible place and all the colored ones are out to get you!!1!!1!!!!!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Anna is today’s Vocabulary Champion, and “Pusillanimous Aneurysm” is my stage name in my GWAR tribute band!

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        If she had gotten “covfefe” in there, … like, WOW!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Anger sharpens my vocabulary. xD

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Here’s another term for you: Valsalva manoeuvre.

        A portmanteau: valsalvadeuce.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          “The Valsalva maneuver is commonly practiced to induce defecation while in the sitting position on a toilet. Cardiac arrest [24] and other cardiovascular complications [25] can occur due to attempting to defecate using the valsalva maneuver.”

          Thanks, Wikipedia!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Really can just chop off that last modifying clause there.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Not Intended to be a Factual President.

  • BadKitty904
  • Carpe Vagenda

    I guess Maureen Dowd was on deck for the whole behaving with dignity as a Pulitzer Prize winner training session.

  • Mpeg

    It says that wrestling guy Kane owns eleven [11] dogs.
    He stands 6 ‘ 6″. That’s a lot of poop to stoop and scoop.

    • Me not sure

      I am glad to be in the poop scoop stoop loop.

    • bupkus231

      If he owned 11 cats, they’d be calling him a crazy cat lady – from very far away….

  • God Emperor Emeritus

    Thanks Wonkette, for reminding me to file my tax extension thingy.

  • Crystalclear12
    • SeeTrain65

      What the hell is right (or sane) with these people?

    • Embrace conflict? What conflict? –The GOP

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Why is Trumplethinskin adding to an already unfavorable evidentiary record? Oh,
    that’s right: because he doesn’t have the slightest idea what he’s doing.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Civil rights lawyers are laughing up their sleeves at how his inept tweet trail is making things much easier for them.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Civil rights lawyers are laughing out loud at how his inept tweet trail is…

        IFPFY

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I like Vanity Fair’s take on the Megys-Pooty meet-up (I hesitate to call that mess an interview, really).

    Even Putin Seemed Bored with Megyn Kelly’s Interview

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      She’s in a place where Savannah Guthrie is the eye candy and substance matters.

    • “I will tell you something you already know”

      Did Putin think he was Meg’s POW in a tiger cage????

  • John Iwaniszek

    I saw a mongoose in Portland, Jamaica this past October. It scuttled across the road in front of the cab I was in.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I once saw a moose on Isle Royale.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        A moose once bit my sister.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Needz moar unmlats (Umlaten? How does German work?)

          • Indivisible Snark Tank

            I’m one of those Olds that can’t do umlauts or those silly Os with lines through them.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            I am an Old also, too.

  • Nounverb911

    The Alzheimer’s is strong in this one.
    https://twitter.com/billoreilly/status/871698137211129860

    • Stulexington

      To be fair, Fox isn’t a news operation.

      • Bemused Australian

        It’s a godawful propaganda station run under the auspices of the most evil media conglomerate to ever emerge from Australia. Sorry about that.

      • Me not sure

        See, there’s the logic in it all.

    • SeeTrain65

      Dear Bill Van Winkle: You must have been asleep from 2009-2017.

      GFY.

      ST

    • BosGrl

      Hahahahaha

    • Relativicus

      Didn’t he used to be on tv once?

      • SeeTrain65

        “I’m not a journalist, but I played one on TV.”

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        In Trump’s Republic, TV is on you!

    • Bemused Australian
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      There must be a Godwin Law equivalent for irony so obvious it’s deranged. Let’s call it O’Reilly’s Law.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or maybe a derangement so intense it makes it impossible to see the irony in your statements. That’s the O’Reilly Factor.

    • ariel_gee_398
    • BadKitty904

      How can a branch of the federal government – Congress – actively support such militant opposition to a sitting, legally elected, black President?

    • Opalescent Riddles

      We’re opposed to shitty ideas. It’s not out fault that shitty ideas are all donnyboy’s got.

    • Canis Greyhame

      It’s like their own actions over the last 20 years don’t exist for these fuckers every time they get outraged about something.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I dunno, billo. Seems you were dumped long after your 8-year stint of being militantly opposed to a sitting president was already over.

    • Claire

      I’m pretty sure at this point reality has come completely uncoupled from speech (or typing) for the entire GOP. Like words aren’t intended to convey facts or information anymore, they’re just squawking mouth-noises you make to signal your tribe membership.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Aww. Billy’s trying to stay relevant. It looks so precious in a has-been.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    The British reaction to terrorist attacks:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BH8AqTWFs9k
    Trump’s reaction to terrorist attacks:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU0PijNCEwo

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Nice. :) I love the movie Waterloo.

      • Spurning Beer

        The ABBA rockumentary?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          The *other* Waterloo.

          There are some funny factual errors, though. The movie has the Prussians in black uniforms, and has Blucher wearing the insignia of the Death’s Head Hussars, but the Death’s Head were the bodyguards for the Prussian Emperor and were not even in Blucher’s force.

          But, they apparently trained over 30000 Soviet Army soldiers in Napoleonic era Drill and uniformed them mostly correctly to make the film. :)

          • Spurning Beer

            Okay. So no Dancing Queen, I guess.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            We can watch ABBA as well, I like them. :)

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Homophobe

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            No snark: the depth and breadth of your knowledge of things military is awe-inspiring.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Thank you. :) It’s always been a passion, and it fills the hours, plus studying military history helps me keep my moods balanced.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Frau Blucher!

  • Relativicus

    Ladies and gentlemen, your Greatest Negotiator…

    “I think we ought to go back to the first one and go all the way” to the Supreme Court, “which is what I wanted to do in the first place.”

    -Donald J. Tweet

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Franken/Kemper 2020!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Who’s Kemper again?

      • Brendan_M
      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Aka: The Unbreakable Jimmie Schmidt.

        A smart, hilarious, broad (in every sense of the word) comedy tonic for these terrible times.

        Highly recommended.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          All righty. I’ll look into her ervay, oovoir, ofay… well, you know what I mean.

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            Enjoy.

            It’s flat-out goofy confection with a dead-serious core.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Inanimate Carbon Rod/De Blasio 2020!

  • Why is Trump NOT playing basketball today?
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/265827946240032769
    Old, fat and lazy

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      White Men Can’t Jump? He’s too fat to participate in sports that require moving?

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      That would deplete his stamina meter thing. He needs to keep it full, in case he encounters any stairs.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Maybe he got a letter from his draft board that caused his bone spurs to act up again.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Obama had breakfast again this morning! Can you believe those Negros?? This is what is wrong with America!”.

    • William

      Why is Obama playing basketball today?

      Ans: Because he can, and you can to just as soon as you drop that golf course baby.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c66d23ea127815e3d632fcedc4cd5a0d9bcdc62254fdc5b8c140e5c3a0a9fb2e.jpg

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I saw that picture. Great gawd a-mighty he has gained a shit-ton of weight. I’ve seen women in labor with smaller bellies.

        • BradtheBot

          Photoshopped. Also too, he wears his britches much higher in an attempt to conceal his girth.

      • The Wanderer

        By Yog-Sothoth’s left rear tentacle (the best one, by the way), who’s the father of that baby, and when is he due?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • therblig

      he really is nothing more than a stupid fucking asshole.

    • Claire

      I am honestly afraid to read this article and find out just how fucking stupid he was in front of the NATO leaders.

  • Me not sure

    If he loses executive privilege every time he tweets about something, it won’t be long before the Mueller people will be able to subpoena stool samples.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Donald is a stool sample so, yes.

  • Nounverb911
    • mackafritz

      He doesn’t realize republicans hold the senate either.

      • mancityRed6

        ” Did you know Repbulicans hold the senate? A lot of people don’t know this.”

        • Notreelyhelping

          What we need is to make Frederick Douglass the Speaker of the Senate.

      • bupkus231

        He wants his base to believe that Democrats are filibustering his nominees. I’d like to know how many of those 24 nominees who are awaiting confirmation have even had hearings scheduled yet ( considering the Republican chairmen set the schedules )….

    • MynameisBlarney

      Sweet titty-fucking christ! I hate that bastard.

      • The Wanderer

        “Sweet titty-fucking christ!”
        I’m writing that one down.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I stole it from someone else.

    • snark-lurker

      his base donut know how numbers werk

      • His base are experts on donuts, however

        • snark-lurker

          with some exceptions (I hope)

    • If the Truth ain’t on your side, make up shit. They’ll believe anything! — Trump

      • TJ Barke

        The fact that that’s true kinda makes me want to sob…

    • Vincent Ricola

      Nobody knew that staffing a presidential administration when a majority of the country is rooting for impeachment could be so hard.

      • Jim Johnson

        Losers gonna lose.

  • Nounverb911
  • Indiepalin

    If the Justice Dept. hadn’t broken into the Oval Office and forced Trump to sign the second travel ban at gunpoint, things might be different.

  • mancityRed6

    that Kellyanne/mediate story is full of trolls. they make the ones that come here look well adjusted and literate.

  • William
  • Nounverb911
    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Kahn thought so fast that he went back in time like a common Obama.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Fuck this guy.

    • Canis Greyhame

      “My message to Londoners and visitors to our great city is to be calm and vigilant today. You will see an increased police presence today, including armed officers and uniformed officers. There is no reason to be alarmed by this. We are the safest global city in the world. You saw last night as a consequence of our planning, our preparation, the rehearsals that take place, the swift response from the emergency services tackling the terrorists and also helping the injured.”

      Phew! That really was hard work, posting the whole statement in context like that.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Sadiq Khan was telling Londoners not to be afraid because people in Britain are overwhelmingly against having the police routinely armed.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        It’s telling that all Twitler knows how to do is to pull out the one phrase that, taken completely out of context, could make a strong, compassionate, and calming statement into the equivalent of a shrug. He must have taken a page from the repukes’ continued repetition of “What does it matter?” in the Benghazi hearings.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        If “TRUMP” (in all caps) isn’t every third word, Lord Dampnut can’t pay attention long enough to get the context.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      He’s angry that Sadiq Khan didn’t bother responding to his provocation.

    • cmd resistor

      Jerkhead.

    • ariel_gee_398

      “This whole family is out to get me. First the ones at the Convention, now this joker. They are DEMOCRAT PLANTS and part of the FAKE NEWS conspiracy against me.”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Even a blind chicken can find some corn here.

      https://twitter.com/DouthatNYT/status/871728249612750848

    • Alan

      Who the hell is he tweetering at?

      • SeeTrain65

        Does he know? Does he have to know?

    • NastyBossetti

      Could be stop being a piece of shit for one minute of his pathetic, miserable life?

      • Jim Johnson

        How would he do that exactly?
        He has the Reverse Midas Touch. Everything he touches turns to shit.

        • NastyBossetti

          I wish I knew.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Apparently not, so far.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • FauxAntocles

    Another multi-fatality shooting in Orlando, the most gun-friendly state in the Union – but we’re not going to talk about gun control.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • MynameisBlarney

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029160951

    We need to not just keep up the ridicule. We need to increase it!

  • memzilla Ω
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I think the only way to settle this is face-to-face. Why doesn’t Trump visit London this week?

      • TJ Barke

        Oh please, yes, I really wanna see someone beat him up.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        After that tweet, they’re thinking of disinviting him.

        Ha! Ha! No golden carriage ride for Donnie.

    • Bemused Australian

      Particularly because Khan said people shouldn’t be alarmed by the increased police presence. Donald is a fucking dunce.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Think about this: Trump would have preferred that the Mayor of London urged citizens to panic. And he’s the one posing as a tough guy.

  • Bemused Australian

    Not everything is terrible. There are fat Labradors.

    https://youtu.be/gXge6td1jfM

    • TJ Barke

      Fat labradors are pretty bad actually… It’s hell on their joints.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I agree. We keep ours quite slim. People often say, omg, his is so fit, how do you do it? Whelp, for starters, we are in absolute control of everything he eats*, and he gets 3 to 5 mile walks every day.

        *Except grass. Eats lots of grass. Is unaware of the number of stomachs he has.

        • TJ Barke

          If it’s a LOT of grass, it may be a sign that his food isn’t sitting well with him. Dogs that eat a LOT of grass do it because they’re nauseous.

      • Persistent Demme

        Every time I have gone to the emergency vet, there is a lab there, who ate whatever, and has to have it’s stomach pumped.
        One of the techs there has a lab that got into some food, (they didn’t know it was there), and ate until it couldn’t breathe well. She reckons the dog ate 6 lbs. of food.
        A sharp contrast to my old standard poodle that would even refuse hand-fed, freshly roasted chicken! (Vets loved the skinny old gal.)

        • TJ Barke

          Labs have a propensity for being garbage guts.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump steps up attack on Mayor of London only minutes ago……that, after he was excoriated around the world for his idiotic, insensitive and infuriating tweets attacking the mayor over the weekend.
    Vinatage Trump: Make a goddamned mess. When called on it. Make it much, much…..much worse.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/871725780535062528

    • Jennifer R

      Multiple MPs are asking for his state visit be cancelled.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Multiple Americans in my home are also asking that he isn’t allowed to go overseas and rub salt into the wounds of our allies.

      • Bill D. Burger

        There are numerous reports that he proposed going to London this week to show solidarity……and, of course, to direct attention away from Comey’s testimony.
        That would do it! Most Londoners hate his fucking guts and the rest simply loathe him. It would require the whole of England’s security forces to get him safely into London at this point.

        • God Emperor Emeritus

          Personally, I would blow off work, and pay a full rush-hour train fare to go to London for the opportunity to flip him the bird if he tried this shit.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Great optics:

        Trump is being booed and pelted with tomatoes in London during the Comey testimony here in the States.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Do it, DO IT… Come on, Britain, be the ally that we need at this time, and shut the fucker DOWN. Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna follow an order to nuke London.

      • Jamespuck

        Spicer just announced that Trump is on his way to London to help. Should be landing in Ohio soon.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      He seriously is not only pathetic but in desperate need of psychiatric help.

      • armed_bears

        Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I’m having the hardest time understanding why Pence isn’t doing this. I realize they called him Dense when he was in Congress, but his thought process is impossible to follow. Unless he’s actually terrified of becoming president after Twitler. That might give anyone pause, now that I think about it.

        • MrTusks

          I mean, Pence would likely be a social and fiscal disaster, but I’m pretty sure he won’t openly mock our allies right after they’ve been attacked.

          • bupkus231

            Fuck – Pence would simply pretend he never received such a “transmission”. He doesn’t want to be President after Rump being removed, he’s too chicken. Anyone who’s scared to be in a room alone with a woman ( because “religion” ) us too chickenshit to take any responsibility….

    • beingreleased

      I will say, even the NPR hourly news headlines yesterday said Trump was full of shit on his no reason to be alarmed comments.

    • cmd resistor

      Some good tweet replies to that inane one

      • Bill D. Burger

        rotfl….Indeed. I was just reading through em’!

    • Incoming Ham

      He made sure to mention his name, just to highlight he is middle eastern.

      So sick of fucking Cheeto Jesus.

    • Meccalopolis

      He’s picking a fight with the elected representative of a city that was just attacked. I can’t

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      It is time to Article 25 this motherfucker.

  • beingreleased

    Is today the day Trump will go out i a blaze of glory? He does seem even more unhinged than usual.

  • Le Covfefe Royal

    Trump’s message to Londoners (in large, unfriendly letters): DO PANIC.
    Also too: don’t Keep calm or carry on.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Londoners’ message to Trump, “Shut the fuck up Donny, you’re out of your element.”

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I love how we’re telling a city that endured the Blitz and the Troubles how to behave when under attack.

  • Trump’s anti-terrorism plan will likely be to tweet about it, try to call up the military, be told that that would be illegal, pout, tweet more stuff about how it’s all the Democrat’s/Congress’/Obama’s fault, launch an ill-conceived military strike against someone to make something go boom which results in a protracted conflict that lasts for years, drives up the debt somemore, but let’s him say he’s done something, and then tweet some more when people point out the disastrous effects of his response.

    • Meccalopolis

      Sounds about right plus alienate our allies

      • From Russia with Love

        Don’t forget “Criticize things he doesn’t know about.”

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        What allies? Do we have allies anymore?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    On CNN, Angela Rye is arguing with Jeffrey Lord over whether he can make up his own facts or not, regarding Trump’s lies about what the mayor of London said about terrorism. Trump claims the mayor told Londoners not to be afraid of terrorists, when he actually said “don’t be afraid of the increased police presence.”

    I have to keep reminding myself that Trump was a protege of Roy Cohn’s, and Trump (and his surrogates) learned to just keep lying, even when all the facts show that you are wrong.

    • OrG

      Facts have a well known Liberal bias.

      • From Russia with Love

        I’m beginning to wonder. Or at least wonder if anybody will notice.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “Once we go back to Neville Chamberlain in 1939, I think it’s time to end the discussion”

      LOL.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Sometimes I really wish Chamberlain’s ghost would pop up and scream “YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MY WORK!”

        • John Thorstensen

          Great Annie Hall reference!

    • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

      ESPECIALLY when all the facts show that you are wrong.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I will give the moderator points for saying “Trump is clearly lying.” He really didn’t mince words. They usually say things like “some might say the president is being less than truthful.” NOPE – he straight up called Trump a liar.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Jeffrey Lord is a piece of work. He doesn’t fit exactly into my Four Types of Republicans (Hostile Contradictors, Conflict Junkies, Smarmy Condescenders and Idiots/Psychotics) – he’s kind of like a soft-spoken, smiley version of the first type.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Lord and Con-A-Way fall in to the “I’ll say anything for money” faction of the GOP. I always think about the lobbyists in that movie Thank You for Smoking” when I see any of these turds spewing bullshit on TV. It takes a special kind of person to lie with no conscience whatsoever for money.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        He’s the intersection of all 4 types.

    • Bemused Australian

      Jeffrey Lord is a whore.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Whore libelz!

        • Bemused Australian

          True.

    • From Russia with Love

      Simpler. Trump cannot read English.

      Or any other language.

  • TJ Barke
    • chortlingdingo

      Ah, I really want to watch this, but I can’t stand the clips from Trump’s speeches. I just can’t bear to listen to him.

      • TJ Barke

        I know, it really makes a person want to smash things.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cheetolini’ is tweeting this morning. Oh Donny! Your order is up:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBj_AZOXoAAISln.jpg

    • SweetDeeKat

      Oh no. Never ask, “how could it get worse?”

  • Bemused Australian

    My short story.

    Donald Trump is Thorazine deficient

    The end

  • Bill D. Burger

    PM May’s affair with Hair Furor is not playing well.
    Great fodder.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBkDXbHXUAADWJe.jpg

    • From Russia with Love

      Hey Theresa, how’s your campaign going?

      • Claire

        Probably at least marginally better than it’s going to be if he visits her in the middle of the elections.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    This is kinda why we don’t want every “good guy” yahoo with a gun firing at people they think are “bad hombres” during a situation. When even the police can’t avoid friendly fire, how will those yahoos do better?

    An American bystander was struck in the head by a stray bullet fired as police killed the London Bridge terrorists, an eyewitness told NBC News.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Given the stats that even cops-who are presumably trained for this sort of situation-miss their intended target about 85% of the time, yes indeed.

      • From Russia with Love

        Hard to control your breathing and smoothly pull a trigger while simultaneously shitting yourself.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Nah. These fuckin’ heroes think it’s just like drunk-shooting beer cans in your back yard.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Not to mention that there’s a massive difference between pinging a metal target and potentially taking a life. One would hope that would give someone pause.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Overall, this London attack is a perfect example of the effectiveness of gun control. Can you imagine how many more people those three would have killed if each one of them had a gun and extra ammo?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        No, no, the good guys with guns would’ve taken care of the situation before anything bad happened….just as they have in every other incident of mass murder in history.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Ah yes. Forgot about that.

          You know what we should maybe bring back? Swords.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            An underreported story on this subject is the fucking lunkhead wannabe here in the Gabby Giffords shooting. Dipshit needed his gun to go buy cigarettes, came on the scene AFTER several citizens had taken down and disarmed the shooter, and in vigilante zeal, very nearly shot the woman who had taken away the gun. Dude tried to inject himself into the narrative as a hero until everyone figured out his story stunk to high heaven.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The Guardian quoted an eyewitness saying “There was a guy opposite the restaurant throwing furniture. It turned out he was a wonderful guy throwing a table at the assailant to try and save a woman.” What would the good guy with a gun have done if he’d seen someone throwing a table?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Whenever I hear these “good guy with a gun” bullshit scenarios, I think of that one time the “good guy” was trying to shoot the bad guy, but didn’t know there was another bad guy behind him. It turned out to be the last surprise of his life.

      • Claire

        Oh, the guy who thought he was going to stop the “We’re a-gonna start a race war at the Walmart” couple? Or was this another one?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Yeah, that one.

  • Bill D. Burger

    If you spill gasoline, Donald is there to help…..he’ll come running in with lit matches.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBkDfHQUIAEqQlo.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      There is something he can do – stay the fuck OUT of London and the UK.

      • eyelashviper

        And RESIGN, then GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL.

    • NastyBossetti

      Is it helping out to try to start a dumbass twitter feud with London’s mayor? It would probably help everyone if you would just shut the fuck up.

    • Stulexington

      You can start by apologizing, that would shock everyone into shutting up so the adults can do their jobs.

    • From Russia with Love

      Donald’s not really an atheist, he’s just too fucking lazy to be religious.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      So a Twitter fight with the London mayor is his idea of helping?

    • Lyly Sirivong

      How about not helping ? I think they’d be fine with that.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      We should have addressed their economic insecurity sooner.

    • Notreelyhelping

      All of these individuals have something in common, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Hmm.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      At least the Aurora shooter was legit schizophrenic with a family who tried to help him (and had no idea he was heading towards violence). Those other assholes are what I consider willfully crazy.

  • eyelashviper

    Another shooting in Orlando, as police are attempting to identify the shooter, and whether that shooter is just a crazy guy or a terrorist:

    http://oi65.tinypic.com/260exeb.jpg

    • From Russia with Love

      Love to see a Venn diagram of “crazy guy or a terrorist.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • NastyBossetti

      Unfortunately, most people use your and you’re interchangeably and have no idea what this means.

      • Yr. Gma

        Not on Wonkette. We literate.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I wish Donald was actually aware that he’s shit.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Deep down he does know, that’s why he keeps spinning faster and faster, trying to outrun the shit that he knows he is.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • From Russia with Love

      Would help if Donny could read.

  • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

    Well, his base is very afraid. They are a bunch of racist, bigoted, misogynist cowards and always have been.

  • Michael R
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Internet win. We can all go do something else now.

      • From Russia with Love

        Where can I get a sign like that?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Acme Marquee Company.

    • William
      • Jasmindjones

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dp305c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    You know, I despised George W. Bush, but that monkey-faced idiot was like Sargon the Great compared to Trump. Jesus H. Christ, what a disgraceful end to Pax Americana, Nero piddles as Rome burns.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      IKR? At Samantha Bee’s mostly disappointing dinner thing, a great moment was when Will Ferrell came out as GW Bush and got a near standing O just by saying “How y’like me now?”

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        xD

    • Stulexington

      He at least listened when his aids sat him down and had a talking to him.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Yeah. I mean, his useless wars still cost blood and treasure every damned day, but I never feared Dubya would start a Nukleer War.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I was reflecting the other day about how Bushisms, while still mostly dumb as fuck, were often fairly basic flubs, like adding an extra syllable, or negating something that shouldn’t have been, or confusing two idioms or a metaphor.

      That level of fuckup would be blessed relief and some light entertainment at this point.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Oh, I know. How I long for the carefree days of Dubya and his simpering smirk.

        How relieved Dubya must feel, to no longer be the worst POTUS of all?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          That’s one reason why I don’t understand why Barbara Bush is all hatin’ on Donnie. She should be grateful that someone’s come along to snatch the Crown of Shame off her baby’s head. OTOH she could just be patriotic . . . but she’s a republican, so I doubt it.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Nicely said. :)

        • The problem wasn’t Dubya, who was an amiable doofus, but the dark forces in his cabinet like Cheney, Rumsfeld, etc. On the other hand, those neoconservatives were awful, but not actually Nazis.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Yeah, it’s a funny world, isn’t it? The Trump Administration, plus internet Trolls, have me looking forwards to human extinction with anticipation.

    • Bemused Australian

      You’ve made an error. Nero lusted after his sister, not his daughter.

      #creepypresident

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Mea Culpa. I just hope Trump doesn’t nominate his horse for the Senate. Probs too afraid the horse would leak damaging information to the Fake News.

        • Bemused Australian

          I was unaware of Trump’s equinophilia and the kompromat his horses were holding over him.

      • calliecallie

        My gut response to that was to quote Faye Dunaway from Chinatown (“My sister, my daughter, my sister, my daughter.”) But then it occurred to me that Ivanka does have a daughter, right? Would it be irresponsible not to speculate?
        Too low? I can’t tell anymore where the bottom should be.

        • Yr. Gma

          Let’s not.

    • TakingAmes

      My husband has an interesting argument that George W. Bush is still the worst president because his actions led directly to the current president. I’m not totally on board yet, but I can see his reasoning.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I can see the logic of that argument as well.

  • Elvis Causticfellow
  • Bill D. Burger

    Yup! Bannon’s Big Boy is really up and attem’ today….and tweeting.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBkFAZ9XYAAyI_z.jpg

  • rosenbomb

    Trump probably thinks his “git tuff on terrorists” rhetoric (if you can call it that) has actually made a difference. He calls attention to attacks happening overseas but only mentions Americans being killed here if it’s convenient for him (if brown people are involved).

    • Querolous

      (if brown people are involved, but not as victims).

  • Bill D. Burger

    Bannon: “Yes you do Lumpkins’! You’re a big boy.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBkGdMaUAAE8x4p.jpg

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      So do we. Tosser, Twat, Wanker, Arsehole and some dutch ones as well: Idioot, Debiel, Tyfuslijer, Teringlijer, Kankerlijer, Lul met vingers, pisvlek, waterhoofd, I could go on all night.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Idiot, devil, um . . . typhus liar? terrible liar? canker sore? joke with fingers? a couple about bodily functions? I got nothing.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Idiot, Moron, sufferer of Typhoid, Sufferer of Cholera, Sufferer of Cancer, (yes us Dutch love to swear with diseases) Dick with fingers, Piss stain, hydrocephalus.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            XD
            I’m stealing Kankerlijer. That’s awesomely bad.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            It is the strongest swear word in Dutch and if you say that you are really offensive and it is considered very rude by everyone. Yet if you feel stressed it really releases stress for some odd reason.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’ve found that some languages/dialects use swears very differently than English. I was once paired with an African French speaker & I know Parisian French. She said that there weren’t really any obscene-type swears. The worst one translated to something like, ‘Your mother didn’t raise you right’ and it was pretty much equal to calling your mother a whore.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah there is a distinct difference in swearing worldwide The Arabs and Th Dutch are pretty much the most profound.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Mother Fucker.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            And if you want to know how it is pronounced in Dutch Con-Ker-Liar.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’m taking Lul met vingers!

          • TakingAmes

            Damn. Beat me to it.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Wonkette: Your International Invective Emporium. ®

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          And I just learned a new English word. Jay for us.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
  • vivian
  • bookish
  • UnsaltedSinner

    The acting US ambassador to Britain should probably start looking for a new job right now.

    https://twitter.com/USAinUK/status/871435629569212416

    • Ghenghis McCann

      He’s probably planning on applying for political asylum.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I would. Or at least a work visa.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Internet Hitler

    Thanks for giving us a mongander at that mongosling, Dom.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      In a group, they’re a mongaggle.

  • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

    Errf… the weather’s cruddy and damp, I feel like 15 different kinds of crap, the neighbourhood Timmies put too many chocolate Timbits in the box, there’s a ton of stuff I have to REdo, and then there’s the news. Yarbles.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      the neighbourhood Timmies put too many chocolate Timbits in the box

      #Canadianworldproblems

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Well, YOU put too many “u”s in “neighborhood”. No Canada, no Canada, you’re the Canada.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Now we’ve heard from the Reverend B – twitter.

    https://twitter.com/VP/status/871150938635022336

    Oh Mikey, shove your thoughts & prayers and

    https://68.media.tumblr.com/0c8db594174d929febd274efe4f11bc7/tumblr_inline_my198eRjzy1rz60rk.gif

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Pence has learned the mighty rhetorical weapon of ALL CAPS.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Official translation: “Thoughts & prayers” = “Fuck you!”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        “Thoughts & Prayers” = “Bless Your Heart”

    • jesterpunk
      • TakingAmes

        Hey, I made out with that guy once in undergrad!

  • anon_the_great

    Yeah, yeah Mean Girl, nice flame journal but that doesn’t change the fact all the things Hillary said are FUCKING TRUE.

  • rosenbomb

    So, do we have any allies now besides Saudi Arabia and the Philippines? FFS…

    • OrG

      Russia

      • Rick Hill

        Not on paper. Putin and donnie are having a public spat even though they still get together in private to rub each other’s grifts together

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Darn it, beat me to it.

    • Rick Hill

      “Allies? More like moochers and losers! Fake friends!”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Russia! But Sshhhh it’s not official.

  • Notreelyhelping

    You’ll be glad to know Portland is not a smoking ruin this morning. It does, however, need more coffee.

    • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

      But it doesn’t need more covfefe.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And donuts. Gotta have the donuts.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Cops ate ’em all. Bashing the antifa and others on the left, while mostly leaving the Trumpkins alone, takes a lot of energy.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    So is he going to pay a penalty or does the extension mean no penalty for six months ?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He has to pay interest on any money owed

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Thanks, good.

  • House0fTheBlueLights
  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Oh Chris…you finally noticed? You are more Les Nessman than Ed Murrow, more Ted Knight than Cronkite:

    https://twitter.com/CillizzaCNN/status/871417240196919296

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      No shit, Einstein.

    • Thiazin Red

      Sure, until the next time he manages to read speech, at which point everyone will once again say that he finally pivoted, OMG soooo presidential, and line up to pat him on the head.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Jerry Springer has more integrity than Gerald Ford. Ford’s great achievements were pardoning Nixon and letting Indonesia invade East Timor.

      On top of that, Ford was a doofus while Springer is actually pretty smart (his show is just an act).

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Reading around I’m getting the impression Donnie fucked up the delicate balance that kept the Arab nations in the Middle East talking to each other. Did he say something he shouldn’t have said that caused everyone to gang up on Qatar?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, he said “do whatever you want, we won’t care as long as you buy our guns” Anyway, Qatar is the home of Al Jezeera, which they all hate, and Trump basically gave them the go ahead to fuck with them.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        ntm the Muslim Brotherhood, which they apparently think is a threat to their wahhabi extremists.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Nah, nothing to do with #Dolt45. Most likely, just a neighborhood dispute.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-40155829 this is intresting, A bunch of Middle East Countries have sever ties with Qatar claiming they are funding terrorists and destablizing the region.

    • OrG

      Pot: look at that kettle, it’s black.

      • efoveks

        And rich. Eat the rich!

    • Persistent Demme

      Isn’t this really about the World Cup?

      • Teecha

        Doesn’t seem to be. The recent QNA hack has caused a lot of tension, with the Emir accused of making derogatory remarks about saudi and supporting Iran and Israel. This is all denied by the government here.

        And seeing as our textbooks and globes have black Israel shaped marks on them where Israel should be, it all seems v perplexing.

        • Persistent Demme

          Iran and Israel??!!
          Has the world gone crazy?!
          (I know the US is crazy, but Iran and Israel?!)

          • Teecha

            It’s worth noting that the Qataris are saying this is nt true.

            But qatar and Iran do share a gas field.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    OT but is anyone else having the problem of having Discus throw you out when you try to reply to comments?

    • Thiazin Red

      It usually only happens to me on the open thread when it gets really long, or if the site is extremely busy.

    • efoveks

      Yes! As Thiazin Red says below. Also too, sometimes when I try to up fist a comment, I find myself in a new tab or suddenly up/down thread. Always an adventure..

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yesterday, Disqus was all screwed up. I just got on today. You might want to close your browser and open a new window.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Have mercy on my soul, today is The Road to Hana.

    • efoveks

      I’ve been on that highway, and it is beautiful. Next time I’m there, I want to cut out an 8×10 section and take it home. I’ve got juuuuust the right spot in my front yard for it! ;)

    • Persistent Demme

      I have never experienced a more beautiful drive, with more beautiful air.
      The oxygen content must be huge.
      Gulp it down!
      Breathe!

      • Jonny On Maui

        It was a beautiful trip!

  • fawkedifiknow

    Did the Idiot-in-Chief just take responsibility for the weekend attacks in London by claiming that his stupid travel ban would have prevented them, BUT HE IS SUCH A LOSER HE CAN’T EVEN GET THEM THROUGH OUR COURTS? Pathetic pussy.

    • efoveks

      Because travel bans prevent the locals from committing mayhem. Wait, what???

  • AmusedAmused

    Re: Trump’s “travel ban” tweets this morning:

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unless there’s an obscure procedural rule that applies to challenging executive orders, that I’m not aware of, Trump’s tweets do not undermine his argument before the Supreme Court. SC is an appellate court; it can only review the evidence that the lower courts used in reaching their decisions and cannot consider new information, however probative it is. I realize it’s tempting to always brand Trump an idiot, but this man has a lifetime of experience in bare-knuckle litigation. To a lawyer, this tweet has all the hallmarks of an abusive and deviant litigant taunting his adversary with damning stuff the adversary can’t use.

    Any legal significance of these tweets is likely to be very limited. There is no harm in the attorney arguing against the ban to bring them up in oral argument (or in briefs, if this thing hasn’t been fully briefed yet) anyway. He’ll get slapped down, but the hope is that the judges, being human, will be influenced by this anyway, and if any judge is on the fence, the tweets might tip him in favor of upholding the Circuit Court’s decision (though not officially). Plus, for what it’s worth, bringing up the tweets with the Court would memorialize them in the Court’s written record, which is arguably more durable than media reports or archived Twitter. That’s about it.

    Theoretically, the tweets create an ethical dilemma for the lawyers at the Justice Department, but hey, Trump has been handing out ex post facto ethics waivers like candy. Besides, even without a waiver, when was the last time a US government attorney was disciplined for relying on statements he knew to be false, especially if those statements had not been made under oath? Even Roy Cohn was only disbarred for conduct not connected with his government service.

    • efoveks

      Are you referring to his tweets from the last couple days or his tweets and remarks as a whole?

      • AmusedAmused

        The last couple of days.

        • efoveks

          Got it. Thanks :)

        • suziq

          Even if recent tweets can’t be used I believe his wording from campaign rallies is already what they plan to use in evidence and while the Trump people try to say that isn’t what he really meant he is saying that it is exactly what he meant. So if recent tweets are ignored there are plenty of his original speeches stating he wants a Muslim travel ban.

    • Yr. Gma

      Interesting. I’m curious, is there a reason your profile is set to private?

      • C4TWOMAN

        I used to be chary of private profiles, but loads of non-troll regulars went private to avoid spam bots. Far as I can see, on disqus it doesn’t mean as much as it might on other platforms.
        .02

      • AmusedAmused

        Yes. I’m afraid that reason is also private :)

    • Cat Cafe Honors Paris Accord

      According to ACLU lawyers, what you are trying to say, simply isn’t true. And precedent shows that it isn’t true. I don’t know why you regard Trump as a “bare knuckled” litigator,” as though he has a skill, or a strategy. He loses every single one of those “litigations.” Every. Single. One. He’s a cheesy, lowlife, stupid, weak, easily cowed loser who caves and gives in at every possible opportunity.

      • AmusedAmused

        Which precedent?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    You know you’re a worthless orange shitgibbon when the supreme ayatollah of Iran is throwing shade.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      I would just love to see a debate between Trump and Khamenei. To be certain, guess which one has done the following:

      *served in his country’s armed forces
      *formed sentences more complex than something that fits in a tweet

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      The only weasel is the commentator.

      As always, the woman on that show is going for a beaver shot.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Last Week Tonight is one of the few shows that I actually watch.

  • Longstreet63

    Privatizing Air traffic control, eh?
    I gotta wonder: where’s the profit center in there that’s currently being misused by government? Is it the opportunity to pay a special airline fee to pay for Air traffic control?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Grifters gotta grift. It might be worth it 1) if the system was upgraded from FORTRAN and 2) if the air traffic controllers could have their union back.
      Otherwise, it’s another money grabbing rat fuck.

      • major_asshole

        Christ almighty ATC still uses an OS originally designed in the 1950’s?

        Even my local public school district uses Windows XP as standard now…

        • zerosumgame0005

          oh, I agree about the “OS”! but think how many millions of man-hours it would take to re-write all that code, and how long to kill all (or most) of the bugs (that part always takes longer) and get it working.of course that would also employing people to do that so it would help the economy, so naturally Trump will not allow that to happen…

    • Chris

      My guess would be the pensions because it is always the pensions!

  • calliecallie

    Privatize Air Traffic Control? There’s more than one way to achieve a travel ban, I guess.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      I wonder how many yahoos know that airports are part of the big gubmint that they hate so much. Anyone who hates taxes as much as the mouth-breathers do should move to Somalia to see what life is like without a government.

      • Cat Cafe Honors Paris Accord

        ^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^

    • Jamespuck

      We will see the reason behind this when every control tower has Trump in big golden letters on them.

  • susan_g

    I guess we’ll soon be called upon to pick up some duct tape and plastic sheeting to seal windows and doors in case of a terrorist attack? Time to recruit the mail carriers again, too, to commence spying on us in search of terrorists? Everything old is new again.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Multiple Middle Eastern countries have cut off Qatar and are accusing it of financing terrorist groups like ISIS/IS/ISL/whatever.

    I heard they were concerned that Qatar was cozying up to Iran, but I guess ISIS is the go-to scapegoat these days, having out-recruited Al Qaeda. Some say it’s all the same network and they just keep changing flags, which is really not a bad strategy since it confuses the enemy, especially Trump.

    • Yeah but this is b/c trump gave them the green light in his stupid speech.

      And they’re doing it as much to go after the Muslim brotherhood (and al jezeera) as iran or ISIS.

    • Teecha

      Iran and Qatar share a gas field.

      Qatar is alleged to support the Muslim brotherhood, by Saudi. Hello pot! Here’s kettle!

  • Red Bird Ω

    It’s interesting that Facebook will allow groups like the one where men were trading naked pictures of female members of the military to exist. They also have several pages dedicated to white supremacist groups that rarely get shut down. But the only time they respond to requests to censor content id when it relates specifically to groups that can hurt white men.

    • SadDemInTex

      I know…I have tried numerous time to get hate speech people banned and instead a friend of mine who is a wonderful artist has had his page “on hold” numerous times because he had art pieces up that had some female nudity and some nut job kept objecting. They allowed the most horrible images of the Obamas to be left up (like the lynching ones and the ones with guns and the ones equating them as apes). I tell you, this is bad for my blood pressure. I seriously am going to have a stroke someday.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Yes. It’s almost as if their claim about supporting free speech only includes speech they like.

        Don’t have a stroke. Just remember that every road comes to an end. You just need to be patient.

        • SadDemInTex

          Beautiful picture of a scarlet ibis, btw

          • Red Bird Ω

            Thanks. Stole it from the interwebs. The Scarlet Ibis is smart. Their natural habitat is Not Mericuh. The only reason they’re ever in the US is when they’re brought here in captivity. *ahem* (message)

  • Lego Ezio

    Ah, nothing says America quite like sloppy looking meat on a grill next to a laptop with Alex Jones on it, right?

    https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/869386667672584192

    • RugzYaBurnt

      Oh my god. This would be funny if I didn’t know that Mike Cernovich is constitutionally incapable of satire, so instead it’s just really scary.

    • SadDemInTex
      • Edith Prickly

        Stealing!

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Probably what Jonesy eats all day every day. The man is a walking advertisement for the need for liposuction.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        They could start by sticking the cannula in his ear.

    • Jamespuck

      Don’t know what repulses me more. Dead animal flesh or Infowars.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Tried to embiggen, ’cause I wanna know if he’s got any nasty tabs open. Instead it took me to his twatter page. Hopefully I won’t have to dip my computer in aqua regia now.

  • major_asshole

    It is fucking rich for countries like Saudi Arabia to accuse Qatar of funding/promoting terrorism. Like, the irony broke my industrial-strength meter.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      And the US are fuckin’ besties with that murderous torture state. Why, we’ve even filled up the whole country with hierarchical streets and disconnected neighborhoods, so that everyone is forced to buy as much of their dead dinosaur juice as possible. Every time a bell rings, some indolent cousin of a tyrannical monarch gets a set of gold-plated wings.

  • andyshelt

    What has the USA come to when a 23 year old pop singer is a greater ambassador for your country than the pathetic man child you have elected as President.

    I’m not a fan of Ariana Grande (I’m not really her target audience!) but the bravery, dignity and empathy for the victims of the terrorist attack she showed when headlining a benefit show for 50,000 fans at Old Trafford cricket ground, just two miles away from the arena where the suicide bomber shattered so many lives at her earlier concert.

    Grande fought back tears and played all her hits – on the orders of the mother of Olivia Campbell, who died in the arena attack aged just 15.

    Compare and contrast this with the frankly contemptible behaviour of Trump in continuing to attack the London Mayor trying to deal with the aftermath of the London attack as people are still fighting for their lives.

    I’ve been fairly pissed off at Trump over many issues but nothing has made me angrier about this rancid piece of shit than his utterly inhuman response to these atrocities and his narcissistic attempt to turn the attention on him.

    I’m trying but struggling to remain optimistic as long as Trump is in power (and I never thought I would say this) but I’ll leave this rant with the positive messages put forward by Ariana Grande, her co-performers and her fans which stands in stark contrast to the bitterness and hatred of Trump and his supporters.

    “Let’s not be afraid, Manchester” from Marcus Mumford following a minute’s silence that opened the event.

    “Don’t go forward in anger. Love spreads.” from a fan Adam, age 15, injured in the blast

    and finally from Pharrell Williams before performing Get Lucky at the concert:
    “I don’t see, hear or smell any fear here this evening. All I feel is love and positivity,”

    https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/04/grande-return-ariana-takes-manchester-stage-at-benefit-concert

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Indeed. I suspect that a lot of people will say “Nobody wants to hear a celebrity’s opinion!” Of course, these same people voted for a celebrity for president.

  • Zyxomma

    Never call it Isis. Those assholes do not deserve the name of the great goddess. Daesh, IS, and Isil are all okay; Isis is not. Btw, any of those mongoose named Rikki Tikki Tavi?

    • C4TWOMAN

      I go with ISIL. I find it most annoying “ISIS” has stuck the way it has….

    • Red Bird Ω

      I loved that movie as a child. Actually rented it on Netflix a while back.

      • Zyxomma

        I didn’t know it was made into a movie. I spent my childhood reading, among other wholesome pursuits.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Disney made one in the late 1960’s. One of their best IMHO. Very short, very sad

  • Marceline

    I woke up this morning breathing a sigh of relief that some MRA dudebro didn’t shoot up a Wonder Woman screening. I went to see the movie yesterday and every time the door opened and someone else entered the theater I looked to see if they were some white guy with dead eyes wearing Kevlar and carrying a gun. You know who I wasn’t worried about?

    Muslims.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Nah. To my knowledge, the only white guy trying to compensate for a tiny penis went on a shooting rampage in Florida (aka what Charlie Sheen would be if he were a polity).

  • zerosumgame0005

    “Confederate lives matter”? no, little snowflakes, they do not! you LOST get the fuck over it!

    • SadDemInTex

      hey, I don’t disagree with you in principle, but I think the issue is that Confederate leaders were TRAITORS to their country and should not be anything but a footnote in a history book and maybe have a display in a museum. The lives of any who die in a war are a travesty and horror. “No man is an island”, etc.

      • zerosumgame0005

        I despise any “leader” who talks up war as an answer to all their troubles. but I do disagree about these guys who are poutraged their “hero’s” monuments are being taken down, screw them, and they need to move on or die, period.

        • SadDemInTex

          Again, I totally agree with you about the monuments. That is my main point. These people are not heros they are racist traitors and murderers.

        • Dinz6315

          Ot – I can’t help reading that word with a French accent: poo-TRAAJ.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Ironically, the very same countries that cut off aid to Qatar are the ones that push the wahabist ideology that inspires the likes of al-Qaeda and ISIS. I’m not actually sure what their beef with Qatar is.

    • Teecha

      There are two theories here- 1, the recent leaks of derogatory comments about various Saudis attributed to the Emir (who denies it all) and 2, the shit going on with Iran and the Iranian/Qatari gas field production.

    • Teecha

      They’ve not cut off aid, they’ve cut off diplomatic relations and closed their borders to people here

  • unclejeems

    Trump thinks the mayor of London is Dick Whittington, not some, you know, moo-slum.

  • andyshelt

    From the Guardian article covering the support for London Mayor, Sadiq Khan,
    from the US Ambassador, Luke Lukens.

    “In more normal times, such a message of solidarity with a host mayor in an allied state would be unremarkable, but it unleashed a torrent of online abuse from Trump’s supporters, accusing Lukens of disloyalty.”

    What the fuck is wrong with these people?
    (that was rhetrorical, by the way, but feel free to respond!)

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jun/05/donald-trump-attack-courts-travel-ban-london

    https://twitter.com/USAinUK/status/871435629569212416

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