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This week we learned that Sean Hannity COULD NOT shut up about the sad conspiracy theory that young DNC staffer Seth Rich WAS MURDERED BY HILLARY CLINTON. He couldn’t shut up about it because then he might have had to cover things like “Donald Trump’s Russian Oval Office Spy Pee Orgy.” And Sean Hannity did not want to!

So he swirled and twirled around, dancing and shimmying and waving his hips to keep you from looking anywhere but there. And as he did so, he got a new best friend (besides Julian Assange), and that new best friend’s name was Kim Dotcom, and he is A LUNATIC.

Here is everything you need to know about the person with whom Sean Hannity wants to share his “microphone.” (Penis.)

Who Is Kim Dotcom?

Kim Dotcom (aka “His Royal Highness King Kimble the First, Ruler of the Kimpire,” aka “Kim Tim Jim Vestor,” aka “Kim Schmitz”) is the Vienna sausage of campy 1990s computer hacker movie tropes. He’s a self-described “fat kid and school drop out from a poor family [who] made his dreams come true,” by stealing and conning his way into millions of Ameros on the Internet. Like most self-aggrandizing Internet millionaires, he likes to spend his stolen money on extravagantly useless crap like yachts, giraffe statues, super-powered golf carts, and sexy silicone-injected bikini parties to prove that, honest-to-God, he really does have some friends in the real world.

Kim got his start back in the early 1990s trafficking in stolen calling cards. When he was about 13 years-old he lied/bragged to Forbes about being a super-ultra elite hacker man and got caught by German police. In 1998 he got busted again, this time for ripping off private phone switchboards in Germany to call his own bulletin board service in Hong Kong. He was charged, among other things, with 10 counts of data espionage and 11 counts of computer fraud, but was let off with probation on account of “youthful foolishness.” Boys will be boys!

Years later, Kim would claim that he not only hacked into NASA systems, but also the FBI, the CIA, and the Pentagon so he could read news about the Gulf War. He also claims to have broken into Citibank, stolen $20 million, and donated it to Greenpeace. And really, in the days before Pokemon, fidget spinners and Internet porn, what else is a sheltered pre-teen without any friends supposed to do except lie uncontrollably?

Would these chubby cheeks lie? Yep.

During the dot-com boom, Kim fancied himself a venture capitalist. Naturally, he had to commit insider trading in 2001 when he bought a German retail web site, invested a bunch of cash to drive interest, and promptly cashed out. He fled Germany and ran to Thailand, where he was found crying in a closet and cradling a shotgun, insisting that he be called “His Royal Highness King Kimble the First, Ruler of the Kimpire.”

Having skirted German jails a second time, he moved to Hong Kong in 2003 and started the totally real, certainly not fake, Kimpire Limited, an investment firm with with an “artificial intelligence-driven hedge fund.” Put aside your techno/legal harrumphs about using robots to game financial markets, Kim never registered the company with the Hong Kong Securities and Futures Commission, or the SEC. He was never allowed to accept real money for his fake company or its bogus technology, and was fined HK $8,000.

Finally, after years of fraud had left him a joke in cyberspace and a con artist in the eyes of capitalists, Kim moved to New Zealand and found his true calling in the world of Internet piracy when he established Megaupload in 2005. Created as a cloud storage dumping ground for large files, for the most part Megaupload was a warehouse for bootlegging music, porn and big box office movies. It was only a matter of time before U.S. lawmakers teamed up with Hollywood and federal authorities and accused Kim of racketeering, conspiring to commit copyright infringement, and conspiring to commit money laundering.

The U.S. raided his home in New Zealand and seized $17 million in assets, freezing his 64 bank accounts, and the FBI arrested him like a common international criminal. A series of mind-numbing appeals in New Zealand courts have since challenged seizure of his assets, with New Zealand courts ultimately ruling that the scope of the seizures was too broad, but also ruling in favor of his extradition to the U.S. to face criminal charges.

When life gives you lemons, give a foreign government several million dollars to look the other way.

Since 2010, Kim has dumped millions of dollars into New Zealand’s tiny economy in the form of political donations and “investments,” effectively purchasing his residency in 2010, despite his criminal history. Kim then began to waddle into politics, first by attempting to buy political favor with the mayor of Auckland, and then through the formation and financing of The Internet Party, a left-wing political group that failed miserably in 2014.

Lately, Kim has tried to meddle in U.S. affairs. In recent weeks he’s cultivated a bromance with Sean Hannity. In order to curry favor, Kim forged FBI documents to further the Seth Rich conspiracy theory, even though it’s already been widely debunked. Kim’s already befriended Glenn Greenwald and Julian Assange, together trumpeting a hypocritical cry for transparency and accountability.

What a cute couple, like a match made in 4Chan.

Ever the martyr, Kim says his is a fight for free speech on the Internet, and that he’s illegally been spied upon and targeted by evil Hollywood types who want to lock him away for being a god-awful thief. While there’s some evidence to suggest he’s simply a misguided idiot (and pathological liar), there’s more evidence that he’s just an incompetent crook. Kim claims to fight for freedom of speech and net neutrality, although he himself made hundreds of millions of dollars by trafficking in stolen content, and now openly supports a president who’s trying to kill net-neutrality.

In a sane and rational world, nobody would really care about a three-time loser like Kim Dotcom; however we live in the upside-down world where chauvinist assholes can hawk bullshit and make home movies with paid porn stars posing in rented yachts with rented friends to give the appearance that they’re enviable douchebags. Kim has scammed his way into a fortune, bought his way out of legal trouble, and jumped into fringe politics as a joke. Sound familiar?

Finally, I leave you with a music video of Kim Dotcom’s trance/techno/whatever music.

And now you may OPEN THREAD!

[Forbes / Wired / Vice / Telegraph / Grantland / Gizmodo / Ars Technica / Sydney Morning Herald / Newsweek / Hollywood Reporter / Daily Beast der Spiegel / Fast Company]

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  • Yr. Gma

    Open threading this early in the day means there will be a big turd dropped at the white House and Rebecca will have to go back to work tonight.

    • Crystalclear12

      Also known as the:
      Ah hell, what now? Shift

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Well, it IS Friday.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Gee. what’ll it be now? Martial law?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I always considered him the worst Stooge.

    • Yr. Gma

      Haha.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Dammit, “Kim Dotcom” is the name of my K-pop band.

  • goonemeritus

    The measure of a man is the friends he keeps.

    • BadKitty904

      And, from what I see above, the friends he eats.

    • Vincent Ricola

      … in the locked space under his basement stairs.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    This is the dawning of the age of a 4cahnning.

  • BadKitty904

    Pullin’ a long shift, there, eh, Dominic?

  • wait! what?

    God: Kim, I literally gave you lemons; how did you turn them into obesity and type II diabetes?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That does not look like lemonade to me.

      • Khavrinen

        Given his history, more likely supplies for a “lemon party”.

      • ichthyopteryx

        Would it have been any better if he made it into snowcones?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Dolt 45 would know.

      • Bureaucrap

        It’s a “present” he got from Trumpfenfuhrer’s pee hookers.

    • BadKitty904

      It’s a gift.

  • Vincent Ricola

    His mom must be so proud.

    • BadKitty904

      “mom”…

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i haven’t even finished the article, but who else is just SO PROUD of Dominic – he’s adapted the wonkette world view and snarky hot take so well.
    one of us, one of us, one of us…

  • Parakeetist

    That video is terrible.

    • Shoto

      On many levels.

  • ichthyopteryx

    For all of Kim’s faults, Megaupload was pretty useful.

    • Megaupload WAS useful as a dropbox type of system, but they actively knew their users were using Megaupload to pirate content. Back in the days before Google Play, Netflix, Amazon Prime, iTunes, Hulu, most people were pirating content via things like Bittorrent and Napster, but to maintain your innocence about it – despite overwhelming evidence, is laughably absurd. Writing, making films and music, good journalism, these things cost money and they’re being beaten senseless by piracy just as much as they’re being hurt by distribution models and profit hungry corporations trying to nickle and dime users and creators.

      • ichthyopteryx

        I agree that Kimmy-bob here was actively looking the other way for copyright infringement purposes. (Good grief, 2006-2010 didn’t seem like a long time ago!) Nevertheless, “down-low academicians” certainly made good use of file-sharing services, so even tho the shutdown was justifiable, it was, shall we say, “the end of an era”.

        • I used them all the time just to back-up papers and stuff. I often liked having a bootable flash-drive to run a clean web browser that automatically had all my cred’s logged so I didn’t have to get burned by a keylogger in school, but those little suckers get lost. It’s always good to have another back-up of your back-up, and never take unnecessary risks on public computers.

          • ichthyopteryx

            Hah! Yes, back-ups were another benefit of file-sharing sites; the lot of them were forward-minded enough to offer the option to have links be either private or public. Around that time, tho, diskettes had become too small, and USB drives weren’t yet very reliable, and tended to heat up a bit if you use them a bit long. So, the older folk kept files in their e-mails, and the younger folk used file sharing. Still, the advantage of not having a drive inadvertently pick up some common malware from some common Internet cafe was one point these sites had over USB drives.

          • Malware can infect anything. I STILL use USB drives to back important things up because they’re far safer than cloud storage systems. Most cloud storage has great encryption, but breaking into a server is silly when you can just spend some time to target a person. If stalk someone for long enough you can gain enough info to start spear phishing (it’s what Russia’s been doing). An airgap is the only truly secure system, and even that can be compromised by a USB/disk. PGP keys, tax/financial records, medical records, IMO those are things that you shouldn’t ever save to Google Drive, Apple Cloud Storage/AirDrop, Dropbox, Amazon, or whatever you use.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ve found that a lot of crusaders for “internet freedom” are really just vultures trying to make their theft of shit that doesn’t belong to them seem heroic.

      • h4rr4r

        Piracy is largely created by Hollywood. As Netflix and modern streaming prove. Make the price reasonable and the method convenient and piracy goes way down. The only even slightly sketchy thing I do there is rip my purchased disks onto my private entertainment system. None of the current “Digital Copy” systems offered by Hollywood are worth a damn.

        Books right now are still easier to pirate than pay for. Which is insane. Give me a pdf and I will gladly pay hardcover price.

        • PerSister Big Puppy

          Totally disagree. Piracy is wrong. It took a long time for my niece to realize that when she got music or writing for free, it was robbing the person who created it.

          I don’t know what you do for work, but what if others could get your work product for free rather than pay you for it? Oh, and reduce your paycheck as a result? How would you feel about reasonable pricing then?

          • h4rr4r

            Where did I say it was not wrong?
            Robbing is a bit strong though.

            Hollywood created the situation is all.

            I am not paid each time my software is used. Making copies of my work would be fine. Useless but fine.

  • BadKitty904

    USA! USA!! USA!1!

    National Trust for Historic Preservation Raises Millions to Demolish Trump’s Boyhood Home
    http://www.theonion.com/article/national-trust-historic-preservation-raises-millio-56141
    Overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from the public, the National Trust for Historic Preservation reported Wednesday that it had raised more than $8 million in just three days to demolish President Trump’s boyhood home in Queens, NY.

    • janecita

      I love The Onion.

      • BadKitty904

        A teeny ray of sunshine in these dark times…

    • Khavrinen

      Unfortunately, I think it’s about seventy years too late for that to do any good.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        So they didn’t get the time machine package for that $8 mil? Damn!

  • Khavrinen

    Just a heads up for you, Kim, the phrase “free speech” is not supposed to have an implied “(from facts)” in the middle.

  • janecita

    I started watching “Gringo, the Dangerous Life of John McAfee,” a couple of days ago. I couldn’t finish it, because his sexual proclivities nauseated me (feces were involved). The man is a crazy freak.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      Oh, glad to know I was right for passing on this one. I was afraid of what the bunker-in-the-African-jungle thing and rich-libertarian-techie thing might lead to.

      • janecita

        Belize, he took his craziness to Central America. The bastard got away with murder.

  • SweetDeeKat

    Jesus. Is Lumpy going to start recruiting from 4chan? Oh wait. I see he already does.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “The best trolls!”

  • Crystalclear12

    New Zealand you really need to review your douche acceptance policy.

  • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

    I understand Tai Lopez will be on a later episode:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=zZKp_jFxQJc

    • It’s. So. Lulzy.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      That was disappointing. I was hoping the bookshelves would fall crushing him and his piece of shitmobile.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    Why are all the old-time weirdos / ambiguous “free-speech” Internet-famous hacker motherfuckers coming out as Trump supporters now? The D-List celebrities weren’t enough?
    I say we should we start betting on who’s next.

    • BadKitty904

      A thousand quatloos on Paris Hilton!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Oh god no, please don’t give her any reason to come back.

        • BadKitty904

          Or Perez Hilton. I’m easy.

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        She did actually vote for Trump, but when asked her only real reason was, “I’ve known him since I was a little girl”.

        Donald Trump also said about Paris that she was hot, this was when she was 12 years old. I think he also said at some point he and Melania watched her sex tape together.

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        I heard you can also trade a thousand Paris Hiltons for a quatloo

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Well there is an opening for FBI director…

    • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

      They want to be able to touch a pussy.

      • Me not sure

        They can’t just touch themselves?

  • chazmanr

    It’s the 400lb guy in the basement that Trump keeps warning us about!

  • Blackest Noobs

    anyone who does the cocked head and two index finger pointing thing ought to have those those fingers removed from their hands….and they ought to happy about it…we could remove the head too.

  • The Wanderer

    In honor of the Marquis de Sade’s birthday, I’m going to let one of the Other voices in my head speak:
    It’s a good thing that people like Kim dotcom are making themselves more visible, because when the pendulum swings back (as it will) they shall have already revealed themselves as targets.

    • BadKitty904

      We’re going to need a bigger tumbril.

      • The Wanderer

        Just bring the conveyor belt a bit closer to the blast furnace, and simply drop them in. No muss, no fuss.
        (manic giggles)

    • Jennifer R

      Every time you post I like you a little more.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Are we usually dealing with the dominant personality in your collective?

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • shivaskeeper

    With an unimpeachable source like Kim here, Hannity’s problems should be over now.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i saw a headline saying Hannity also invited Assange to guest host.

      • clairence

        read above. it’s right there in 1’s and 0’s.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          doh, i saw the mention of htem being buddies, didn’t see that (not wearing glasses, still on coffee #1).

      • shivaskeeper

        Cool. As long as he has to do it in studio. That would let me know if his sense of self preservation can be overridden by his craving for the spotlight.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Was Baghdad Bob not available?

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    As a side-note, it’s also funny how the same nerds who make fun of rappers for showing off their cars and making videos with sexy women on boats CANNOT WAIT to show off their cars and make videos with sexy women on boats as soon as they make a little money.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Word.
      Ain’t no way I’m watching that video, but this is the first thing that popped into my brain when I saw the still.
      https://youtu.be/glEiPXAYE-U

  • Good graphic about the “War” on drugs
    https://twitter.com/VirginUnite/status/870374421629894656

    • Blackest Noobs

      this is soooooo a no-brainer…which is crazy why Republicans wouldn’t get on board since they lack brains….and hearts….especially hearts.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        hell even legalized marijuana in all 50 states would be save untold amounts of dollars and lives.
        My opinion, people wanna get fucked up – what they use to do that is based on availability.

        • Jennifer R

          This is true based on personal observations and experiences.

    • shivaskeeper

      That cost money. That money will not be spent here unless it’s for punishment.

      • Jennifer R

        The funny thing is that IIRC, the increase in tax base from the people who would have died on the streets or went to jail is offsetting the cost of treatment and injection sites.

        • shivaskeeper

          We both know that doesn’t matter. If punishment costs more with less return we’ll spend more on punishment rather than attempt to help.

          More fallout of the war on drugs.

          • Jennifer R

            It is because of the puritans. Europe should have dashed them all upon the rocks instead of letting them slink away to be terrible people elsewhere.

          • shivaskeeper

            The current crop is worse. The original puritans had the law on their side since they wrote the law. The modern version doesn’t have that so ugh anymore so they turn to resentment and spite on top of the Puritanism.

    • BadKitty904

      But how will Big Pharma, Big For-Profit-Prison, and Big Privatized-Law-Enforcement make a profit off of that?

      • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

        Think of the hedge funds!

    • jesterpunk

      Yes but how exactly does that help private prisons?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        No job-killing treatment! Ever!

      • JCfromNC

        Plainly they’d convert those prisons to centers that provided shitty treatment, relying on money crossing the right palms to avoid any inquiries into their horrible (lack of) success rate.

  • clairence

    why isn’t this bigly brained genius not one of Trump’s advisors? They seem like a perfect match.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      in charge of “the cyber”?

      • clairence

        exactly. Or transportation. Trump seems flexible on credentials when filling positions.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s Barron.

      • JCfromNC

        No. In keeping with the philosophy of the rest of Drumpf’s hires, he’d be put in charge of the Copyright Office.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    well, apparently KAC was on TV bashing Comey and CNN.com says the Trump admin is playing wiht the idea of invoking executive privilege to prevent him from testifying.

    Sounds like they’re scared of what he’s got to say. Good this is going ot be good.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They should be afraid. It’s going to send the lot of them to Leavenworth for the rest of their lives, and not in the good Command and General Staff College sort of way.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Nixon tried that, and Chief Justice Burger rammed it right back down his throat.

      “To read the Article II powers of the President as providing an absolute privilege as against a subpoena essential to enforcement of criminal statutes on no more than a generalized claim of the public interest in confidentiality of nonmilitary and nondiplomatic discussions would upset the constitutional balance of ‘a workable government’ and gravely impair the role of the courts under Article III.”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, I was interested in teh story but even the Cnn.com story said “legal experts” said the admin would be unlikely to be successful.
        Maybe they’re just floating the idea to be the bully who’s trying to scare the nerd into not telling.

        • Jennifer R

          I really doubt it did much to scare Comey, and sure looks like intimidation.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I like it! Let’s go to press with it! Stat!

      • HogeyeGrex

        upset the constitutional balance of ‘a workable government’ and gravely impair the role of the courts under Article III.

        “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
        – DT

      • OneYieldRegular

        How quaint it was back then when people actually paid attention to the rule of law and the separation of powers.

    • jesterpunk

      They tried that with Badass Sally Yates and she told them to eat a dick and testified anyway.

    • Gary Charound

      He’s forfeited his executive privilege. If he can tweet about it, he can testify about it.

  • wait! what?

    It’s not disco, it’s nu-disco and it’s catchy.

    https://youtu.be/7CiOWcUVGJM

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Who’s a good boy?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Another worthless sack of shit, like Alex Jones. Self promoting and exploiting the stupidity of the Drumpfenproletariat.

    What a country!

  • mrFawkes

    DiCaprio said “no thanks” to the offer of playing Kim in “The Wolf of Wall Street II”. So they signed this guy… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5dd2fd3a79b370ce325dda10daad7ff31fb9fb7eecd277b875ba61773f8b0daa.jpg

  • weejee
    • Anna Rompage

      Lil Kim & the Disciples of Seoul?

      • Bobo the Dork Boy

        Ba dump, tsssss….

  • Anna Rompage

    Lets not forget, Kim DerpCom’s mega uploader hub was also host to a lengthy list of child porn titles that he refused to take down, though other people are the folks who posted them…

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “Freedom of speech”. . . That’s the rallying cry of an idiot trying to get away with an actual crime while trying to rob everyone else of their own freedom of speech.

  • Me not sure

    With as many Chins as there are in Hong Kong, I’m surprised that he wasn’t allowed to stay. What’s another three or so?

  • MOG253

    Seriously, who would listen to this guy????😲

    • Anna Rompage

      A long list of people on 4-chan & Reddit, and those looking for validation from a self made “cool” guy?

      • A surprising amount of people. He was more popular until he started supporting Trump. I could go into a lot of detail about why he and Assange are such ardent Trump supporters, but it boils down to Trump isn’t Clinton, and they’re all idiots.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      MGTOWs? Federal investigators? Reporters from Wired?

    • jesterpunk

      Lumpy?

  • HogeyeGrex
    • alpacapunchbowl

      I got my boat shoes, I got my flippy floppies!

      • HogeyeGrex

        Believe me when I say,
        I fucked a mermaiiiiiiiid

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I knew the Trump admin was having trouble filling cabinet posts but damn that’s scraping the barrel.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I miss the days when the worst thing you could do to someone online was loop a MIDI file that can’t be muted.

  • Me not sure

    I hope everyone enjoyed National Doughnut Day. I’m baking a Bundt cake, which in my mind is just a giant cake doughnut, to take to dinner with friends tonight.

  • Suttree

    Ahh, finally the open thread. OW OW OW OW OW, Jesus fucking christ this shit hurts! That rib that is out in my back has gotten worse. So bad I couldn’t go to physical therapy today. So I am trying to drink and music myself to healing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpns_a4Nuvo&list=RDEMgXDhrhfbX7DjmeeHTtx7hQ&index=1

    • Me not sure

      Nothing but soothing wishes from the not sures!

      • Suttree

        Soothing the spirit always helps. :) Thank you!

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Oooo, yeah – I feel that pain. I have the same issue… popped a rib in the back (doc said “dislocated”) and it healed, but every now and then it’ll pop out again and the pain is nigh near unbearable.

      Lots of good thoughts to you!

      • Suttree

        I think that in between yesterday’s PT and then laying on the rolled up towel method to push that rib in has caused another rib to work itself out. So i not only failed at the first rib, but I caused a second to move out. Not that it wasn’t already fucked. I canceled my PT today because I couldn’t leave the house in this condition. So now I have to wait until Tuesday. I Only have 2 Flexeroll left.

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          I cut mine in half, or in quarters. It’s not quite the same (I don’t really like being comatose either, though) but it’ll take the edge off.

          • Suttree

            This has been bad enough to take two at certain points. It usually will make me sleepy , finally.

      • marxalot

        That happened to me when I was a kid, then again later when I got into a fight in my 20s. Healed up okay except last year, either my binder was too tight or I sneezed at the wrong time, but I dislocated the sonofabitch and it was agony while I heated and breathed and stretched the damn thing back into place.

    • Vecchioivan

      I feel your pain, so I’ll have a drink and credit it to your account.

      • Suttree

        I would appreciate that. If I don’t use it, it will get old a rusty.

  • whitroth

    Just consider… would *you* trust someone named Kim Dotcom (y’all *do* remember the dot-com crash of 2000/2001?

  • canes_pugnaces

    OT: But FYI, again, fuck every single Trump voter. Fuck them upside down and backwards. Fuck them with a coal dildo.

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/06/01/news/economy/female-coal-miners-trump-paris/index.html

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And fuck them with covfefe.

  • SweetDeeKat

    Since it is now open thread, I’m going to vent some crap on y’all. Stressful week, and today I discovered a colleague has been committing some significant ethical breaches for years. It’s hard to explain, but when I find out another lawyer is grossly unethical, or stole from a client, or lied to the courts, it makes me sick to my stomach. Not only does it make all of us look bad, but it’s a kick in the teeth to all of us who take our role seriously. It goes against everything we live by. I’m not naive – I’ve done this over 30 years – but I still can’t understand why one would want to live that way.

    Vent over. Week over. Time for snacks and video games.

    • TundraGrifter

      Some people may find this odd (or just naïve) but I feel precisely the same way about people in finance – and real estate in particular. It turns my stomach.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Not odd or naive at all to me, unless I am both as well.

        “For what shall it profit a man if he gain the world and lose his soul?”

        I guess, some people think there are compensations?

        • TundraGrifter

          The “compensations” are temporary. No matter where a person goes or what a person does, that person must continue to live with her- or himself.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Old saying, “No matter where you go, there you are”. Most old saying are very, very true.

          • TundraGrifter

            “And you can always say you’ve been there.”

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I don’t understand people like your colleague either. Do they not think beyond momentary gain at all? Why do they insist on dragging ethical people down with them? Honestly, if it only impacts them, have at it. It never works that way though.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        they alll think they’re smart enough to get away with it?

        My criminal law instructor said every defendant who talks to the police or testifies thinks they’re going to be able to just explain everything or fool them.

        It rarely works, apparently.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          The cops who deal with confessions, not the mostly stupid grunts but the people with actual training, they seem to have an uncanny gift for spotting guilt. I know a few detectives myself and they can just hone in on something. They’re like psychiatrists in that sense.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i don’t know any, but we learned in that same class about “The Reid Method”
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reid_technique

          • Covfefe

            Those witchcraft convictions in Salem, MA? They were confession-based convictions.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            They also involved crazy people most likely tripping balls from ergot. It was less actual confession and more “I’ll torture you until you confess or just kill you and say you confessed.”

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I hear ya. People assume we’re all terrible to begin with.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      What kind of snacks?

      • SweetDeeKat

        Bride’s Cake Blue Bell ice cream! And cheetos later!

        • OneYieldRegular

          Snacks we, uh, like.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You don’t happen to work for the Sessions Department of Justice, do you?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    What a garbage person.

    The one thing I will always resent the most about this year is that all the garbage people are given a megaphone now. I wish they’d all just crawl back under their 4chan rocks.

  • OddMan

    So Trump wants to renegotiate the Paris Accord.
    Earth to Trump.
    https://twitter.com/MahyadT/status/870727194330509312

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    WHERE IS THE GOVERNMENT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING US??????

    Many people now are saying THE EARTH IS FLAT. This may mean THE EARTH IS FLAT. PEOPLE! If the earth is flat, YOU MAY BE IN DANGER. LIVES MAY BE AT STEAK.

    HOW DO WE AVOID FALLING OFF THE EARTH’S EDGES? Please answer. THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      oh lord, not this douche.

      • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

        It’s bacccccckkkkkk!!!!

    • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

      Mmmm steak.

      • mancityRed6

        try the flat iron steak, sometimes it’s cheap, but it cooks up well.

        • Anna Rompage

          They carry it at the local Carniceria for about $4/pound, and is one of my favorites!

        • Suttree

          Especially after a nice overnight marinade. Hard sear, and cut across the grain.

      • PubOption

        could be Trump Steak.

    • jesterpunk

      Keep away from cats.

      https://i.imgur.com/vdLE8dJ.gif

    • Anna Rompage

      I prefer my steak seared well over blazing hot mesquite, and served bloody rare, unlike some other folks out there…

      AND NO FUCKING KETCHUP! GOT IT!

      • Jennifer R

        Pfff amature. Blue and mooing or it’s trash.

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          You are a person after my girlfriend’s heart. If it ain’t bleedin’ and fightin’, she doesn’t want to eat it.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I don’t eat steak, but I heard someone say “a good vet could bring it back” as the way they wanted theirs (not) cooked.

          • Anna Rompage

            I would have to differ.. A steak isn’t really quite a steak, unless it’s gone been subject to heat high enough to cause the Maillard reaction

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I’ll have to defer to the steak eaters on that one. When I was growing up, my parents would BBQ steaks and I couldn’t chew them for love nor money. Couldn’t understand the attraction.

          • Anna Rompage

            It’s easy to fuck up cooking a steak, but when they’re cooked in the proper way, they are glorious, if you’re into the meats that is…

          • mancityRed6

            the trick is to finish with a good BBQ sauce, it softens up whatever mistakes or missed intentions were on the grill.
            I used to do this with cheap boneless KC strips and then cut them into slices for tacos.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Slightly OT, or off meat in this case: I was convinced as a child that liver was just old shoes soaked in blood.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Might as well be.

          • Yellerduck

            My favorite was, “Bring it out on a leash and I’ll bite it on the ass when you walk by.”

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            I like to grill in the summer, and we have an old-fashioned butcher shop just up the road from us… we will go get us some thick filet’s for a Tuesday night dinner and she’ll tell you, “there’s not enough blood”.

            Some nights I sleep with an eye open, not sure why though. ;-)

    • Suttree

      Please stop feeding this troll! Just stop. Period.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Can’t we feed him a little fried covfefe?

        • Suttree

          Only if it has been dipped in Turnip Marmalade. You know that shit will kill you.

      • Yr. Gma

        Amen.

    • Yellerduck

      We need HANDRAILS! STAT!

  • TundraGrifter

    “So he swirled and twirled around, dancing and shimmying and waving his hips to keep you from looking anywhere but there…”

    I’d claw my own eyes out if I thought it would make the image of that hellish scene go away.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfiQYRn7fBg “I hate this hacker crap!”

  • Jennifer R

    Damn. Decisions decisions decisions. Make some eggy rice or put clothes on and get a burrito or subway. Really don’t feel like going further in the heat so mediterranean is out.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Jennifer R

        It’s like 90 out here and I live next to a river. Fuck Outside.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          IKR?
          It’s still under 90 here in the desert, but when it gets up over 100, it’s like walking around inside an oven.

        • natoslug

          I’m melting here in our supposed 61f (has to be at least 65!) weather. I’d burst into flames at 90.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            you would not fair well in the 109-112 we had in austin a few years ago. Multiple days of that and I was walking ot wal-mart back then cause I had no car.

            (Dont’ feel bad, few people DO well in 109 heat. But around here in the summers, I see crazy assholes JOGGING in 100+ weather).

          • natoslug

            I’m sticking with my fog and redwoods and non-spontaneous combustion temperatures, thanks.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i want all 3 of those things.
            Some frickin’ rain would be nice too.

          • natoslug

            Don’t you get all of your rain for the year on one or two days, in a nice simple deluge?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, not quite.

            We get fronts move through though and it will dump on us. Summer rain storms in the desert are INTENSE. You see these big black menacingly clouds miles away (cause it’s flat), then it just dumps buckets on you and moves through. Flash flooding is a problem here.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah 65 is about my comfort point. Sacramento is a boiling swamp and it really wasn’t my desire to live here.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Eggy rice sounds good.

    • RobKanC

      eggy rice.. Why go outside while you can stay inside.

    • OddMan

      I thought I would garden a bit today and hand planted 25 French Giant Hot Radish seeds in our little raised bed. Ordered the damn things online so treat them very carefully.
      Now I need a bourbon and branch and a shady spot.

    • Yellerduck

      I don’t know what an eggy rice is, but it sounds like it involves both eggs and rice and I like both of those. Does one stir the egg in uncooked and let the rice cook it, or cook the egg first?

      • Jennifer R

        I take steamed rice and beat in a couple raw eggs and some seasonings then cook it up in a skillet or pan.

        • marxalot

          I used to call that “survival rice” and it is one of my favorite foods

          • Jennifer R

            In a couple days I will have some thawed chicken that I will have marinated to mix into the next batch. Half an onion too.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            It’s good with quinoa also too.

        • Yellerduck

          Great. Now I’m hungry and I’m still at work. Might have to make a run.

          • Jennifer R

            It works well to revive day or two or three old rice too.

    • Yr. Gma

      Subway sounds good. I like the honey oat bread.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Maybe I am a dense MOFO maybe I am just late to the party but congratz to Dominic to making it from intern to the devil who wears New Balance to full member of the Wonkette writing team!

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    Douche or not, Jonah Hill would make a wicked Kim Dotcom if they make a movie of his life.

    • TundraGrifter

      Or Eric Stonestreet.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Jonah Hill says that every time he’s in NYC, he’s approached by Wall St. douchebros wanting to do coke with him, thinking the character that he tried make as odious and reprehensible as possible and Hill are one and the same.

  • TundraGrifter

    OK – I give up. Why did he take a selfie with a glass full of pee? Left over from President Trump’s Russian Hooker Shoot?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Nothing else would get close enough to him.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Whoa if true:
    “Jonathan Goldsmith — the actor who played “The Most Interesting Man in the World” in a years-long series of Dos Equis beer ads — claimed in an explosive essay for Politico that he has had adulterous affairs with the wives of two Republican congressmen.”

    • georgiaburning

      I see a Utah joke in there, but it’s too easy. Like their daughters

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      He didn’t even have to be interesting. “I didn’t even have to try. It was too easy!” the showman exclaimed.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Stay horny my friends.

  • RobKanC

    Wait. He started a left wing party.. Does he know that Sean Hannity is like the exact opposite of that.

    • I’m guessing it’s a matter of who’s easiest to dupe in a particular area rather than any actual personal beliefs. If he could make money being anti-puppies and kittens he’d do it..

    • Manders

      This is the thing with extremists on both sides having more in common with those of us closer to the middle; it makes for super-weird bedfellows.

    • Yes. No, it doesn’t make any sense.

  • wait! what?

    A little flashback Friday.

    Rich feels the whole name thing is his area.

    https://www.hulu.com/watch/278919

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Maybe there will be a White House Science Advisor after all.

  • memzilla Ω

    Putin just said he supports the Paris Accord and will keep Russia in it but understands why Twitler took to US out of it. Then he switched to English and said “Don’t vorry, bee heppy.” So the US becomes a global embarrassment while Putin looks reasonable by comparison.

    I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING RUSSIAN TROLLS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANET.

    • gene108

      Republicans make it soooooo easy for Putin to troll us. We are upset about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, well what about our invasion of Iraq.

      And now Putin looking like a statesman by comparison to the current crop of Republicans.

      And it’s not just Trump. The reason the Paris Agreement is non-binding is because Senate Republicans would never vote to ratify a treaty anymore. And unless we get 67 Democrats elected, we’ll never be able to ratify treaties again.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      there was a story yesterday that Pootie said some “patriotici” Russian hackers may have taken it upon themselves to meddle in our elections, but oh no, nothing officially by the government.

      Pfft.

      • vivian

        Which is Russian for: “of course we did it you fucking moran”.

  • Covfefe

    My wife and daughter get magazines with “fragrance” ads. My dog rubs his snout in those ads, getting the fragrances all over his nose. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/787f6b1021f1c9a9e032fbe698a46e211bd8fbf966134440694957916b313bde.jpg

    • shoeflyin

      Cocker? I think hunting breeds like to disguise their scent. You are lucky they are going for floral and not dead animal.

      • Covfefe

        yes, cocker. also rolls in sewage, when he can find it.

  • marxalot

    Why is it that the short weeks (I took Tuesday off) are the longest? My brain is made of old curtains and Wheatena.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    “Thanks, Kim. Would you like to fill in as host on my radio show? Over 550 stations 14 million listeners.” Sounds like an invitation to a blow job, alright.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Why is Hannity asking him to fill in as host rather than come on as a guest?

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    A woman would be hopeless as the Doctor because they just don’t have a clue about science and complex physics and struggle to operate simple machinery like cars let alone a time machine. It would be embarrassing to watch her reverse the Tardis into a landing spot and she would cower in terror at the likes of the Daleks. My wife runs a mile at the sight of a Spider and never goes faster than 20mph in her car. She thought the Large Hadron Collider was a hairdryer! Seriously. Maybe it would work if she was a real stunner like my wife and then we would forgive her scatty behaviour infact it would be quite endearing but other than that, for God’s sake no.

    • Shanzgood

      What are you babbling about?

    • sadboy

      Obviously someone who has never heard of Romana.

    • jesterpunk
    • Kateaux

      Romana(either known version) might want to have words with you…

    • theblackdog

      Dr. Donna would like to have a chat with you.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      THe mayor of austin has already addressed this:

      https://twitter.com/jamal_wash/status/870503549209264128/photo/1

    • jesterpunk
    • Chris

      Grace Hopper might disagree with you and you wouldn’t be here at all without her work. Only 4 comments dear? You really aren’t putting your shoulder into it. You really need to try harder.
      I’m not complaining, I am really excited to see a troll before they scrubbed and then humiliated in the weekly round-up.

      • Yr. Gma

        This stupid troll has been around forever. He keeps changing just enough of his profile to keep coming back. Don’t engage. Block.

        • Chris

          Okay, sad face on. First time I saw one in the wild.

          • Yr. Gma

            Chin up. There will be more.

    • vivian

      I’m glad you found such a fitting mate. I can only assume she has as much respect for you as you show her, but than again, since she is likely mythical and you’re really talking about your Mom, I assume she has even less.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    The french ministry of foreign affairs is a bit miffed, I believe…
    https://twitter.com/francediplo_EN/status/870699642509512704

  • DrBigHead

    “…he likes to spend his stolen money on
    extravagantly useless crap like yachts, giraffe statues, super-powered
    golf carts, and sexy silicone-injected bikini parties to prove that,
    honest-to-God, he really does have some friends in the real world.”

    Wow. Who does that sound like?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I had to read that twice to realize it wasn’t describing Dolt 45.

  • Manders

    So, because this is open thread: Glenn Greenwald gets the super side-eye from me because of his embrace of various non-U.S.-friendly things. I know that Snowden is among them. He (Snowden) has shown up on a couple of podcasts I listen to, and he ends up sounding like a good soul with good intentions, in addition to very smart. But I worry that I am being, well, Snow-ed. (GROOOOAN).

    Tell me that I’m right. Or wrong.

    • hendenburg2

      I think the term you mean is “Snowed-in” (bigger GROOOOAN)

    • snark-lurker

      Snowden was demonized by both sides for doing what I thought was good. but then me A idiot prolly got all wrong i guess i donut know

    • ariel_gee_398

      Is the DeRay/Pod Save the People podcast with him one that you listened to? I have been meaning to check that out.

      • Manders

        That’s the one. He was also on Note to Self.

      • Manders

        Also, Pod Save the People is excellent.

    • What Snowden did is both treasonous, and whistle-blowing. There’d been rumors of government spying for a decade, but nobody knew how deep it went.
      Snowden’s leaks exposed that just how deep that spying was, and how the Bush administration purposefully strong-armed weary telecoms tapping every method of modern communication in the name of the War on Terror.

      It’s treasonous because we still don’t know what else he took, and who else has it. We may never know, TBH. Greenwald and Poitras have admitted on multiple occasions that they withheld a hell of a lot of information because it was deeply damaging to the U.S. Like any decent journalist, they confirmed with the NSA/U.S. gov’t before they ran to print knowing full and well the ramifications of just publishing state secrets. On definition, anything that’s that damaging COULD be considered treasonous.

      Personally, I like what they both did, but not necessarily the way they went about it. Greenwald is an asshole (like most journalists), but Greenwald (again, IMO) is deeply paranoid and distrustful of everyone and everything, and he’s been making strange bedfellows with people have (at the very least) questionable and obviously self-serving motives. He doesn’t seem to necessarily take sides when you look at the big picture, but he’s too quick to judge everything he sees as “deep state” fuckery.

      • Manders

        Thank you for the detailed answer.

  • SammyDEEEE

    When life gives you lemons…

    pee in a glass and then put some lemons in the glass and then drink from the glass of lemon pee.

    • TundraGrifter

      And call it “Trump Lemonade.”

  • hendenburg2

    Nice work Dom! I had completely forgotten the name Megaupload, but I did remember that that he was charged with some kind of internet piracy charges while hiding out in New Zealand a while back.

  • sadboy

    Anyone who has been involved with real actual information security/cybersecurity work for the last twenty years knows about Kim Schmitz and what a lowlife poser scumbag criminal he is. His rep as a hacker is pure horseshit. Mr. Robot and FSociety would have him screeching on his knees. Hannity deserves him.

  • La forza del resistino

    Anthropologists have confirmed there was life before Internet porn when a trove of magazines with sticky pages were recently found discovered.

    • DrBigHead

      Check out Moche ceramics. Pre-magazine porn

      • La forza del resistino

        My grade school had a librarian who ripped out certain National Geographic pages.

        • DrBigHead

          In grad school I had just the opposite. No matter the class, I had a prof that would find a way to include a slide show of Moche pots.

      • Thiazin Red

        Or the statues on south asian temples.

  • Me not sure

    If this guy goes down in flames it will make the Hindenberg look like small potatoes.
    “OH… THE HUMANITY!”

  • theblackdog

    That did not look like lemonade next to that bowl of lemons…

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s not, my guess is it’s a glass of piss from someone who is a bit dehydrated…

  • Suttree

    Whatever, I am working through this pain. i would like to share one of my favorite songs with y’all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3Q8dlusBk4&index=21&list=RDEMgXDhrhfbX7DjmeeHTtx7hQ

  • georgiaburning

    Wasn’t this fool’s fifteen minutes of fame over fourteen years ago?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah he like founded napster or some shit. Who cares!

  • TundraGrifter

    I had a megaupload once, but it was after I’d eaten two burritos.

    • Shanzgood

      Convenience store burritos can do ut after just one.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        As can Taco Bell ones.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Fuck. Jack in the Box tacos are not tacos. Two is the lethal dose.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            I should not have had seconds, then. Excuse me.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Good luck to you. Thank you for your sacrifice.

      • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

        Gas station sushi libelz!!1!

        • hendenburg2

          Gas station spam musubi is even sketchier

        • Shanzgood

          Do any of them even sell it? I’ve had Trader Joe’s sushi and gotten sick from it before. Gas station sushi would be terrifying!

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            I have no idea, but it does make for an excellent metaphor.
            One I’ve used recently while at work, when a customer I was talking to started foul mouthing my employer’s competitors, I managed to end his diatribe by pointing out that “There are companies less trustworthy than gas station sushi”.

      • TundraGrifter

        And look at for the gas station nachos! A gentleman here in NorCal just died from eating an order of those.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Now poor Dominic is doing morning and evening duties? What does the Snark Writers Union Local 184 have to say about these long hours and inhumaine working conditions (yes, not having an unlimited supply of microwave pizza rolls and ready-to-eat burritos qualifies as “inhumane” probably)?

    • Suttree

      I totally missed that! Hi Dom! You are doing a great job, with the exception that we do not get enough hippity hop babby goats. I’m serious! Mornings are hard. I need two videos of hippity hop!

  • ichthyopteryx

    Hafta step out now, and if any of you laughed even a little because of my snark, I thank you kindly. Let me leave you with this not-so-old piece, and don’t let the White House’s hateful hustler harsh your high. G’day!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLGSf3tAvpM

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Wow, I haven’t listened to them in years and years.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Prophets of Rage have their first single out! Unfuck the World. The Prophets of Rage are a supergroup constitng of members of Rage Against the Machine ,Public Enemy and Cypress Hill https://youtu.be/6ad4MH7fMLs

    • hendenburg2

      Please tell me Flavor Flav is doing all the music.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        He probably could. Dude can play like 20 different musical instruments

        • hendenburg2

          I know! One of my favorite Public Enemy anecdotes is when they were looking to get signed, everyone wanted Chuck D to ditch Flav because they only saw him as a goofy idiot. Chuck D pointed out that without Flav, he wouldn’t have anything to rap over.

    • MizzMazz
  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • MizzMazz

      I feel ya, Supes.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Trump is the kind of man other men want as a buddy. He’s real. He has a clear mind. He has a sense of humor. He’s not full of himself. He knows where he’s going. He loves his people. He’s a standup guy. He can’t be bullied. He’s a rugged individual. He loves animals and abhors criminals. He’s been a good father. He’s a patriot. He’s a fast thinker. He’s a good communicator. He says what he means. He means what he says. He’s generous. He’s polite. He’s responsible.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • TJ Barke

      You have a serious bullshit leak.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      His dick is, like, youge. The yougest. He’s the kindest, best, most fabulous pony ever.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Miss Teen USA contestants are constantly begging him to walk in on them in the dressing room.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Pull the other one.

    • Shanzgood

      He has tertiary stage syphilis. I’ve been reading that all over the Internet lately.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        That’s what got Al Capone.

        • Shanzgood

          I thought it was tax evasion?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            By “got”, I meant finally killed him. Hell of a disease, ask Melon.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Damn, the mandatory minimums for syphillis are harsh!

      • snark-lurker

        “tertiary stage”? Is that behind Jurasic Park?

        • Shanzgood

          Heh!

      • Yr. Gma

        Must be true, then.

      • hendenburg2

        Who? Trump or TLM?

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Yes.

      • marxalot

        It’s all over the internet? I better update my anti-virus. And anti-biotics while I’m at it!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        It was a big recurring gag on this season of Archer, maybe not connected, but that’s what it is.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      We all know who you are, Upsetti/TLM/Whatever other inane little troll name in your inane little troll heart.

      It’s Friday night and you’re just not that funny right now. Here’s a Euro, now strip and grease that pole, we’ve got guests coming over.

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        It’s saturday morning

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Not in America it isn’t. It’s 4 o’clock on a Friday. I have no idea what time it is in Dickheadistan.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Fuck it, it’s Friday night somewhere. I’m getting a beer.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Or Saturday morning, have two and catch up.

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            Well, he’s certainly east of me if it’s already Saturday where he is, which would put him in the eastern European or Moscow zones.

            Dosvidanja, Tovarishch.

    • hendenburg2

      Because as we all know, Emily Post would absolutely suggest that “grab ’em by the pussy” is an appropriate statement for formal company

    • biologydave

      I think you’re referring to the Brawny paper towel guy.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        “Homer, I’ll tell you what I told Redford. It *aint* going to happen.”

      • SnarkON

        Except the Brawny paper towel guy is kind of hot.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          He is, isn’t he?

          • SnarkON

            He has a great body AND cleans. Also he seems nice.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            He’s basically a big teddy bear. I bet he smells like fresh pine.

    • BosGrl

      “He’s a fast thinker.” LOL

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        That may be true. It’s very easy to think fast when you have fewer options for thought.

        That sounded better in my head and I apologize.

        • BosGrl

          I was thinking, it’s easier to sound like a fast thinker when you have a very limited vocabulary.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That sounds much better. Glad you could apply words to my thought.

    • Get the nurses to reduce the dosage, you’re rambling

    • Anna Rompage

      The only thing clear in Donad’s trump mind is his unprecedented lack of rational thought…

    • jesterpunk
    • ariel_gee_398

      Hope Hicks releases her latest statement on the president’s beneficence.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        LMFAO! Needs moar “positive energy”.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Also more “infectious”

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I’m thinking less “infectious’, it’s already tertiary syphilis any more infection and the patient is dead, Jim.

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
    • vivian

      Assuming Poe here since it’s so completely the opposite of reality.

      • Yr. Gma

        This asshole is a recurring troll.

        • vivian

          Check. and duly noted.

    • Yr. Gma

      Why are you not blocked? I blocked you about ten thousand times already. Go away, stupid little boy.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Keeps setting up accounts and just changing the username under profile setting most likely. Either way, it appears to be a dead account now.

        Please don’t let this sad creature be the focus of Dear Shit Fer Brains. I’m looking forward to that.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • SnarkON

      Allergic to compound sentences?

      • BosGrl

        Missed the train at Conjunction Junction.

        • SnarkON

          What’s its function?

          • BosGrl

            Workin’ out stuff with facts not in evidence.

  • a_pink_poodle

    For those who don’t know, HK$8000 is about 1000 Freedom Points over here on the other side of the other pond

    • georgiaburning

      And isn’t the procedure for registering a business in HK something like fill out the form and hand it in with a very small fee?

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Some years ago I ordered a model kit – 1/48 F-16C “Thunderbirds” – from a HK hobby shop. I near pooped myself when the invoice read $340HKD, but the equivalent was like $40 USD

      • biologydave

        And that’s why I stopped buying from oversea sites. That, and they didn’t always deduct the money in a timely manner.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Next on Hannity: One half of Insane Clown Posse has shocking new evidence!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Pretty sure ICP aren’t very fond of fox or conservatives.

    • SnarkON

      Insane Clown Posse libel!

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    For the evening OT crowd

    https://youtu.be/1UW2ZndKqcg

    • NotReallyHere

      “Covfefe yourself! But not on the sofa.”

      Almost spit my drink on the keyboard.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      that was brilliant.

    • Persistent Demme

      Damn!
      He’s great!

  • marxalot

    There’s a baffling nonesense farmer (I hestitate to use “troll” because trolls usually have a target, and this person is just bewildering) downthread if you want to trade quips. Reminds me of the weird classmate who says nothing all year and then bursts out with a fully formed but utterly non sequitur rant as if it is a rebuttal to an ongoing discussion. Don’t be baited though, please.

    • jesterpunk

      The rant is kind of about the rumor for the next Doctor on Doctor Who, at one point Tilda Swinton was the lead choice and it made a lot of people really mad for some stupid reason.

      • marxalot

        Sure, but why here? We’re a mommy blog/recipe hub/DC gossip rag inhabited by a vile snark mob.

        • jesterpunk

          Dumb people have to complain about women on tv?

      • hendenburg2

        Wait what?! Tilda Swinton as The Doctor?

        On one hand, good that they’re finally considering a female Doctor. Now I nominate Chris Hemsworth for hot idiot male companion

        One the other hand…

        http://pa1.narvii.com/5783/1ba013c9cdf2710962a0de98b1be34b0e92c21c0_hq.gif

        • jesterpunk

          Yes but will she like the color of her kidneys?

        • BosGrl

          Rupert Grint? Tho not a woman.

          • hendenburg2

            Even better idea: Karen Gillan for the new Doctor!

          • Thiazin Red

            Then she meets a guy who looks like Matt Smith!

          • hendenburg2

            Poor Arthur Darvill…

          • Thiazin Red

            I do like all three of them but Rory has his own show now.

          • hendenburg2

            Oh right… that DC Universe timetraveling show

        • Shanzgood

          Mmmm….Tilda Swinton…

      • BosGrl

        See also: Ghostbusters.

        • jesterpunk

          But the rant for Doctor Who doesnt even make sense because over the 50 + years the show has been on you have had multiple male characters regenerate into women and women regenerate into men.But some people get really mad if a women is shown in a positive role in a show.

          • Thiazin Red

            And there was the whole scene when Romana was choosing a new body where she tried out looking like entirely different species.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            What fucking people? Who gives a shit about those people?

          • Thiazin Red

            Its really weird, but there are a number of Who fans who are really opposed to the Doctor being anything but a white man. It makes you wonder how they even like the show at all, since feeling like that is pretty much the exact opposite of the message.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Basement dwellers.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            lonely white male nerds- living vicariously through their TeeVee shows is all they have

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Ask the Master/Missy

          • jesterpunk

            IKR, Michelle Gomez is amazing in that role.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5KU9FelfuY

          • h4rr4r

            David Tennant has a sister!

      • Thiazin Red

        I saw people saying they wanted her, and it would be cool, but I don’t think it was ever a legit rumor. No way could the BBC pay her salary. It would be great to have her in a one of special though.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Boss lady asked TWICE this week who the hell he was and nobody else knew. I happily fell on this sword!

      • Bill D. Burger

        I remember the Megaupload debacle, a few of his other messes and his arrest. We always referred to him as Mega Load….and I see he still is worthy of the title.

  • Joe Beese

    I grew up on Long Island but have lived the last 20 years in Salt Lake City. En route to Florida to visit Mother Beese, I’m switching flights in Detroit. And looking at the cashiers in the terminal McDonald’s, I was reminded how much I miss black people.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yikes, that’s a hell of a itinerary.
      I used to have to switch in dallas or houston to get to florida – i preferred houston, they have a smoking lounge behind the security gates.

      Travel well.

      • Joe Beese

        Thanks. Delta has a snazzy terminal here, actually. Electric monorail overhead to zip you along its far-flung length.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          cool! Houston’s a shitty old airport, but dallas has a cool train thing to whip you around DFW (which is huge, if you’ve never been).

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Skylink FTW!

            A buddy of mine had their chimes as a ringtone for awhile

            Also too, Poppy Bush’s airport sucks- half of it is really a tin storage shed for lawn tools that they converted into an airport

        • hendenburg2

          Yeah, I’ve flown out of Dallas a TON. Monorail isn’t the greatest idea though, since it goes around the outside of the terminals it takes longer.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    So, let me get this straight . . . every time I have to reload this page because Disqus is behaving ridiculously, I’ll have to scroll past that picture? Gee. Thanks, Dominic!

  • Thiazin Red

    Once a month I treat myself to a chocolate chip cookie from the place in my building that makes what I consider to be prefect chocolate chip cookies. I’ve decided that even though its only the 2nd, today is that day. I will be legit sad if I go downstairs right now and they don’t have any.

    • SnarkON

      Please report back with findings.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Inquiring minds want to know.

      • Thiazin Red

        This is some bullshit. Only oatmeal raisin left. Of course those are left because they’re gross. Oatmeal raisin cookies are a sick joke to make you think that there are some chocolate chip cookies just to crush you when you see them close up.

        • SnarkON

          Oatmeal raisin is breakfast cereal disguised as a cookie.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            DON’T BELIEVE COOKIE LIES!!!1!!

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          An old boss used to say that oatmeal raisin cookies are why she has trust issues. (The problem is no one knows to plump the raisins for a few minutes in hot water before baking. Then the raisins stay moist and delicious. Oatmeal, however, should DIAF)

          • MizzMazz

            OR soak them in rum or brandy. *shrugs* I like oatmeal cookies. And bread pudding.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            I’ve done the rum thing for raisins in banana bread. And I don’t so much like oatmeal cookies per se as I like raisins in baked goods (also in pancakes). I’ve learned that if you soak the oat that also helps with the occasional uncooked oat thing which destroys the texture of oatmeal cookies.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            (raises hand sheepishly)

            I actually like oatmeal raisin cookies

  • SnarkON

    I’ll bet neither Kim Dotcom nor Sean Hannity get laid very often.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I should certainly hope not.

    • Bobo the Dork Boy

      At least they have each other.

  • JoeChristmas

    Dotcom ’24

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Program Format Network Broadcast Time Weekly listeners (in millions) All Things Considered Newsmagazine NPR PM Drive 13.3[15] The Rush Limbaugh Show Conservative talk Premiere Midday 13.25+ Morning Edition Newsmagazine NPR AM Drive 13+[16] The Sean Hannity Show Conservative talk Premiere PM Drive 12.5 Delilah Adult contemporary music Premiere Evenings 8.8[17] Marketplace Financial news APM PM Drive 8.7[18][19] The Dave Ramsey Show Financial talk Self-syndicated Midday 8.25+ The Glenn Beck Program Conservative talk Premiere East Coast AM Drive 7+ The Mark Levin Show Conservative talk Westwood One West Coast PM Drive 7+ Elvis Duran and the Morning Show CHR/Top 40 music Premiere East Coast AM Drive 5.5[20] The Savage Nation Conservative talk Westwood One East Coast PM Drive 5.25+

  • Jamoche

    I got the standard form letter when I told USAA to re-pull their Hannity ads, with

    We heard from many of our members and recognize that our decision to stop advertising on Hannity created confusion and concern among those who believed USAA was caving to pressure or abandoning someone who is a strong supporter of the military. This is not the case.

    I cannot avoid the snark. I replied with

    ” abandoning someone who is a strong supporter of the military.”
    [citation needed]

    • jesterpunk

      Oh so Lumpy served in the military? Wait no he didnt.

    • Bitter Scribe

      WTF is USAA’s connection with the military anyway? They hype the fuck out of it in their ads, but when you freeze-frame at the tiny type at the bottom of the screen (the only way you’ll ever be able to read it), they spell out very carefully that they have no connection to the Dept. of Defense or to any branch of the military. So where the fuck do they get off running ads of little girls saluting in Navy officers caps?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        It was apparently started by some military officers and became a business that serves only the military/vets and families.

      • Jamoche

        You have to be military, government, or a dependent (including former) to be a member. And they have really awesome insurance so it’s worth it – I’ve never once had them hassle me over a claim or be sneaky like fucking Geico that didn’t explain that they do not insure 10 year old cars for anything but liability. I was in college, it seemed cheaper, I had a 10 year old car… fuck them. USAA would’ve fixed my car.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Oh you mean the same Hannity that had that bogus fundraiser for military vets?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    Backinaday, Yr Anna Dl’d Macross Frontier Fansubs from Megaupload. Ima made up for it, tho, I bought about $1K of model kits, toys, and merch from MF.

    • snark-lurker

      pix or GTFO

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl
        • snark-lurker

          oh my! (panting)

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          You have a serious problem, Anna Elizabeth! Have you sought help from a Twelve Step group? ;)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            This ain’t half of my Macross F stuffs. I haven’t even built the model kits yet. The Bandai ones are transformable.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            I honestly have no earthly idea what the fuck this stuff is. But, hey, if it keeps you off the streets and out of the Greyhound bus station men’s room more power to ya! That was you I saw there last time, wasn’t it? It’s sometimes hard to discern someone’s identity through a glory hole!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            dude…

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl
          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            Oh my god, oh my god, Anna! I’m sorry. I was trying to be funny. I meant none of that for real. I fucked up! I FUCKED UP! I AM SORRY! I really enjoy your posts and I appologize!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i was going to ask what’s up with all the beyonce memes today…than I realized, they’re pretty damn fitting.

        • marxalot

          So… how’s the invasion going, Sgt Frog?

    • h4rr4r

      That the anime companies go after fansubs is moronic. Those markets don’t ever get your product otherwise and they are nothing but free publicity.

      • ichthyopteryx

        I was scratching my head myself at the concept of complaining about “lost sales” when the company doesn’t even have (much less find) a way to get its product to wherever you’re located.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Well, if you can’t trust some skeevy Internet bootlegger/thief who’s managed to stay half a step ahead of jail for years to give you reliable information about Hillary Clinton, whom can you trust?

  • JoeChristmas

    Like the Swindler in Chief, this clown should have been jailed the 80’s.

  • Sheepshagger

    If nothing else, the Dotcom saga did give us NZ legal scum this little exchange:

    Asked what his post-raid business was, Dotcom said he helped create Mega, a “cloud storage website”.

    Judge Nevin Dawson: “A what website?”

    Dotcom: “Cloud storage.”

    Judge Dawson noted and said: “Cow storage.”

    Dotcom, looking exasperated, corrected: “Cloud storage.”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      and people say law is boring!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Cow is boring?

      • Jamoche

        Scientology vs the Internet in court in 1995:

        Lieberman quotes from the Volk post: “screw the courts” and
        also says that he has an ftp site for all the OT materials. “Mr.
        Henson is laughing hysterically about this posting for reasons that
        I suppose he understands–” Henson offers to explain.

        Lieberman: What’s an ftp site?

        Henson […goes on at length about how this is done.]

        Lieberman: Okay. “So when he said ‘I have an ftp site for
        all the OT materials,’ he is saying he has all the OT materials on
        a site which people can access.” Was Henson aware of Patrick
        Volk’s ftp site? Does this refresh your recollection? he demands.

        Henson: well, you see right after the colon, it says ftp:127.0.0.1?

        Lieberman: yes.

        Henson: that’s a loopback address.

        Lieberman wants to pursue the question of the site with the
        OT materials. Was Henson aware of Patrick Volk’s ftp site?
        Henson: (patiently) It’s at 127.0.0.1. This is a loop back

        address. This is a troll.

        Lieberman: what’s a troll?

        http://www.cryonet.org/cgi-bin/dsp.cgi?msg=6289

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      What is a ute?

  • Chris

    What is it with these douchebags? They mine the internet for other peoples money, info, whatever but inevitably whine that they are a target for illegal surveillance? Why?

    • snark-lurker

      “projection” it is a Republican thing

      • Chris

        I have now reached the place where I just assume anything a Republican accuses anyone of is what they are doing in their spare time.

        • Natalie

          Minimalist thinking and probably accurate as hell. But, then again why else would it be on their mind?

          • Chris

            Yeah, like Sessions response to Franken. It made no sense, it wasn’t even related to the question asked and most of his current problems are due to it. My guess is he was so focused on not revealing something that it sort of fell out.

    • SnarkON

      They’re the nerd version of survivalists. Equally dumb and paranoid; also love to play at intrigue and surveillance, but don’t like being outside.

    • shivaskeeper

      At that point they are the target of legal surveillance. They even lie about what they are whining about.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Is that the 400 lb. hacker, or another one?

    • Sheepshagger

      He’s actually two 200 lb hackers that reunified in 1989.

      • natoslug

        Technically, as hackers, that was an svn merge. Today’s git kids may have a newer term, but I’m too old to bother learning it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        conjoined hackers…

    • Bill D. Burger

      We always referred to him as the Mega Load guy. And he hasn’t missed a beat, I see, or a meal.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Is my toaster spying on me?

    • SnarkON

      Blocked. Buh-bye.

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        lol wut?

        • vivian

          You see, dear Wonkeroos, this is why you shouldn’t try to French kiss a wall socket.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            Or come home drunk and fuck it… look what the hell happens!

      • h4rr4r

        Did I miss something?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          no

          Move along please.

          • h4rr4r

            I scrolled down and understand.

  • memzilla Ω
    • BadKitty904

      And the Republican Congress will do a total of jack about it.

      • memzilla Ω

        I think they’ll TRY to do jackshit about it, but I don’t think this is going away.

        • BadKitty904

          I meant doing their jobs and supporting the prosecution of these crimes – you know, like they would if a Democrat broke the law.

          But no, you’re absolutely right – the current Congress will move heaven and earth to hinder, cover-up, and obfuscate the Republican Administration’s crimes.

      • shivaskeeper

        It shouldn’t matter if they want to do jack shot. They can hold off on impeachment since that is a strictly political action. Criminal charges are something else altogether.

        • BadKitty904

          No, it shouldn’t. But I’ll bet you a bottle o’ wine the GOP Congress will find ways to interfere, cover-up, and hinder.

          • shivaskeeper

            Of course they will. It won’t matter. They can dick around with the political side of it, but it will be a good look for them. I’m not sure what they could do for criminal investigations other than cut funding. Which will also not look good.

            On of the legal eagles here might know more about it.

          • BadKitty904

            I wish I was as optimistic as you. As the GOP strengthens its dictatorship, still utterly unopposed by any sort of organized, efffective resistance, I have less and less hope.

          • shivaskeeper

            If you are a Democrat you belong to no organized political party.

            Besides, it’s no so much optimism at this point as patience. Things take time and I know there are wheels turning behind the scenes. I would hope the federal level Dems would get their shit together and even though they are the minority right now, at least go on record as trying to act. If they don’t 2018 would be a time to get some fresh blood on our side as well.

        • BadKitty904

          Criminal charges used to be something else altogether.

          • shivaskeeper

            What I mean is an impeachment is a purely political process. They can lay out the charges in the House and investigate in the Senate and remove someone from office, but they are not lawyer or judges and cannot prosecute any criminal acts that may arise as a result of the impeachment investigations.

            If criminal charges come from an impeachment, the DOJ would have to follow up with any of the investigatory agencies involved. IIRC, Nixon resigned during his impeachment rather than face the criminal charges that were going to follow at the end of it. Once Ford pardoned him the investigation into the criminal acts stopped and all charges and potential charges were dropped as he was already pardoned.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Although I doubt anything will be done to Sessions, it would be marvelous if they were able to lower the hammer on the Bull Connor of the Lollipop Guild.
      That evil little racist munchkin’ should be put somewhere, anywhere, away from the outside world.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        The Bull Connor of the Lollipop Guild wins the thread!

    • shivaskeeper

      Rosestein as well from what just heard. Both in reference to Comey being fired.

    • Raan

      I feel like Big Pussy would be a better comparison, because it’s my guess that they’re both going to sing for their lives.

      This concludes my knowledge of The Sopranos.

      • Jamoche

        I know only one thing beyond that, and I do *not* want the end of all this to be an unresolved cut to black.

        • Raan

          God, I forgot all about the shitty ending.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Don’t Stop Believin…

  • Tofu Killer

    F*cking STORM TROOPERS on JET SKIES?!?!?!?!?!

    Yeah…sure… that’s exactly how I imagine the good life. Flash me those Bieber-like jazz hands again.

  • BadKitty904

    Is Kim Dotcom related to A Boy Named Sue?

  • A Lady The Doctor..?

    IT’S BEEN DONE!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tp_Fw5oDMao

    • NotReallyHere

      I think Joanna Lumley would make an Absolutely Fabulous Doctor!

      • Kateaux

        I can’t believe I didn’t recognize Julia Sawalha — until Joanna Lumley turned up. Also too, many, many thanks, Misty Malarky Ying Yang.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Nothing has changed. I shall prove it to you. When Jesus came forward over 2000 years ago and told everyone he was the son of GOD everyone hated him, reacted with anger, no one believed him and look what they did to him. I believe today they would do the same thing, just a modern day version. With that said I want everyone to know I AM DIRECTLY RELATED TO JESUS.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Speaking of epic origin stories,

    In 1940, after critics complained that Superman and Batman were too violent, All-American Comics hired as a consultant a psychologist, lawyer, all-around rascal, and onetime Hollywood P.R. man named William Moulton Marston. Marston lived in a threesome with two women, Elizabeth Holloway Marston and Olive Byrne, who both had graduate degrees in psychology; Holloway was also a lawyer. With their help, he pitched a comic book featuring a female superhero whose enemy is inequality. “ … Within a year, “Wonder Woman” comic books were banned, on account of indecency. During congressional hearings into juvenile delinquency, she was accused of inciting lesbianism.

    …In 1911, when Marston was a Harvard freshman, he saw the British suffragist Emmeline Pankhurst address a crowd in Harvard Square, after she was banned from speaking in Harvard Yard, where women were not allowed to speak. In 1912, Elizabeth Holloway was a sophomore at Mount Holyoke when students paraded for suffrage, wearing buttons that read “Votes for Women!” H. G. Peter, the artist Marston hired to draw Wonder Woman, drew pro-suffrage cartoons for magazines. Marston took Wonder Woman’s origin story straight out of Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s 1915 feminist utopia, “Herland.” In 1916, Olive Byrne’s mother, Ethel Byrne, and her aunt, Margaret Sanger, opened the first birth-control clinic in the United States; they are the founders of Planned Parenthood.

    • Jamoche

      If only they’d known that she was actually subtly inciting bondage…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You and I have different views on subtlety :)

        • Jamoche

          It slipped past a lot of people; that’s got to count for something :)

    • marxalot

      And she was often depitced tied or chained up, not just bc of Marston’s debatable but well documented fetish life, but because he wanted to show her repeatedly breaking the bonds that men had put her in, as many times as necessary until people got the point.

      • Jamoche

        OTOH, the adults in Jonny Quest never made it to the end of an episode without getting tied up and I don’t think there was anything to it beyond that. Other than lots of fanfic.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          That’s when Bandit had to save the day by untying their hands with his teeth

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          It wasn’t until I was a teen before I understood my fascination with those two hot daddies!

    • Thiazin Red

      The origin story makes the decision of the film makers to set it during WW1 nicely appropriate.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I did not know that Herland was inspiration for WW! MIND BLOWN.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Inciting lesbianism? That’s fucking hilarious. Like women are going to see a woman being a badass and all of a sudden think, “I wanna lick a pussy”. I mean, seriously?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Worked for me.

        • marxalot

          Right?!

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          I guess I’m weird, that’s not what incited me… Blue eyes, long brown hair, a great smile and a sharp, biting wit were what finally got me.

          Edit: I’m finally seeing why they were concerned.

      • marxalot

        Are you kidding? Those arms, that smile… who wouldn’t see that and be suddenly caught in the “do I want to be her or do her conundrum?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I thought that was a great choice of verb, myself.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Check out Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore. It’s a little long, but parts of it are fascinating.
      Marston was kind of a huge toolbag though, unfortunately.

    • Jennifer R

      Fun fact! They were into BDSM too.

      • sadboy

        Does that explain the golden lasso of truth? I’ve always wondered about that…

        • Jennifer R

          Yes.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I remember reading that when they talked about how a man welding her bracelets together would rob her of her super-strength.

  • Yr. Gma

    Troll news: Upset spaghetti (or any of its other stupid pasta-related names) is a long-term troll here who comes back with new, slightly modified profiles and trolls again. If you engage it, it will keep coming back. The only advantage I can see to that is it might win the Most Boring title. It is not clever. It will not engage with “reasoned” arguments. It will not be featured in Shit-Fer-Brains. No satisfaction can be gained by swatting it around. It’s time for it to go away and stay away. I have now blocked it at least 50 times.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      This is the one who monologues, right?

      • Yr. Gma

        I don’t know if that’s what it is. It tries to get a rise out of people and then whines that it’s misunderstood when told to go fuck itself.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I just remember it taking an endless amount of time to flounce one evening because it had to keep coming back and warning us that it would be back… to behave in an annoying fashion from a sock account.

          The fiend.

    • Jamoche

      Yep. Flag it and let Dok whomp it like the whack-a-mole it is.

    • natoslug

      I only know it as “This user is blocked” so I miss out on the swatting.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    heh, and CNN.com drops the hammer on poor Spicey.
    I swear, sometime soon they’re going to find him pantless, drunk, and screaming unintelligibly on a D.C. street corner.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a379c9cce65b64efdebca32a6cbda96450154b90d47dca19d8a05ceffd9b7930.png

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Wearing the easter bunny head.
      Please let him be wearing the easter bunny head…

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yes!

    • biologydave

      His inner monologue is the song “I Hate my Life” playing on an endless loop.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Can there be a depth lower than being bagged by Chris Cillizza for uselesness and lack of credibility?

      • vivian

        Ummm. no.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I mean, that’s like being burned by slime mold for being spineless.

          • Sheepshagger

            “Jellyfish condemns trump administration for lack of direction, determination “

          • Carpe Vagenda

            “…reached for comment, a spokesman for the spore community said they were disturbed by Trump’s failure to give a fuck.”

    • BadKitty904

      Y’know the thing about Sphincter, he’s got… lifeless eyes, dull eyes, like a doll’s eyes…

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        There’s nothing but dead goo behind The Great Sphincter’s eyes.

        • BadKitty904

          It’s all that’s needed to do his job.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      What you have described would be a quantum leap upwards dignity-wise from what Spicey does for every single Press Breeefing that he has done so far.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Oh, Christ! That goddamn ice cream truck is back. I’ll have to listen to that fucking Pop-Goes-the-Weasel song all cocksucking summer long! And I don’t understand how they make any money, anyway. The company that owns them is 45 miles away and it drives around my little town all day long and I’ve only seen them actually sell something a couple of times. I don’t get it. And what they are selling is nothing but freezer-burned, squirrel’s milk on a stick covered in imitation chocolate flavored wax. Mmm, yum! I’ll take two!

    • marxalot

      If it’s anything like the ice cream trucks that ran back when Running Dad was driving one, the main profit is from the weed.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ugh, we get those sketchy vans on my block on occasion…when I used to take naps in the afternoon, those fuckers would come by every afternoon with shitty music being played out of a shitty speaker, CRANKED UP!

      Outta be a law.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Be careful not to get too excited when you see him coming. The Ice Cream Truck Happy Dance can be dangerous.

      https://media.tenor.com/images/03bdff0ce44d6bd0601bc005f6ff9b6d/tenor.gif

    • Courser_Resistance

      We actually the Mexican-type pushcarts here with the bells. It’s kinda nice, but I’ve never bought anything. Other people do, though.

      • MizzMazz

        I like the fruity palletas (sp?). Strawberry, coconut, with real fruit and the coffee ones are delicious.

        • Lambsendbeds

          I think it’s “paleta”, but I could be wrong.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Well,now that I could handle. If it’s ethnic, they might actually have some stuff that’s worth eating.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Dude, it’s West Denver – there’s ethnic everything here. Mexican, Vietnamese & Korean, Italian, Greek. They’re all tucked in neighborhoods here and there.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            That’s something I point out to bigots who hate “furinors”. You really want to eat generic mac & cheez for breakfast, lunch and dinner? And thanks a lot! Now I’m craving a gyro!

          • Courser_Resistance

            Oooh yum, breakfast gyros! On the plan for tomorrow morning!

    • Sheepshagger

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars

      My ancestral homeland proves once again glassies dinnae fook aboot.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Master Contrail Program

      I’ve always had my suspicions about the ice cream truck near my old neighborhood. 8AM to 10PM EVERYDAY, rain or shine, even during the school year.

      I can’t really say Do Your Ears Hang Low was ever on my I-pod, but now it triggers a bout of lactose intolerance. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d5845ff114c09c8c4dbbc898ab66847d829509d1e419b65f1fa98308ea5bf5c.jpg

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        What’s up Big Perm, I mean Big Worm!

  • nightmoth

    Hey, New Zealand! Whatup? I thought you were cooler than to take bribes from a right-wing asshole. I am disappointed.

    • Sheepshagger

      Money doesn’t smell. Sadly.

  • jesterpunk
    • Yr. Gma

      This is not a surprise.

      • jesterpunk

        Well no not really, but their ads are going to show the image that supposedly upset Barron. While they complain how the image upset Barron.

        • Yr. Gma

          Of course they will.

        • Chris

          How the heck would he know if Barron would be upset. It’s been, what a month since he saw his kid? In theory, this is not a divorced family and frankly I know divorced families that spend more time together.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            He told a four year old kid he was about to walk out on to go fuck cornpone Barbie that he was stupid to trust his father. Barron’s only hope is that daddy stays away until daddy forgets he exists.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          It’s almost as if hypocrisy wasn’t important to them, at all!

          One could almost think they only use words as blunt weapons and never bother to worry about their actual meaning!

        • sadboy

          We must not upset Barron. He has special powers. Kathy Griffin upset Barron and he wished her into Cartoon Land.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      of course they are.

    • SnarkON

      Look at it this way: A whole bunch of idiots are throwing away their money.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      That’s so over. We know why she did it, it was her take on “bleeding from her wherever”, we also know more details about the shoot. It was a 45 mask stuffed with tissue, hardly a thing that didn’t already exist.

      Funny how the concern trolls were just fine with mock lynchings of the blackFormer president, just fine with Ted Nugent getting on stage with a machine gun and threatening to shoot Obama and Clinton and een their own president telling his crowd about “second amendment” solutions if Clinton were elected and appointed a judge to the supreme court.

      As Colbert said, “I have jokes, but you have the launch codes”. You really can’t bully the biggest bully in school. I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel about it right now.

      • SnarkON

        THEY WERE SURVEYORS’ MARKS.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          C’mon, Sean, It looks like a fence.

          IT’S A BOLLARD WALL!

      • jesterpunk

        I dont remember them complaining when Sarah Palin had her gun sights map and Gabby Giffords was shot.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Because they love to practice the false equivalent. It’s “horrific” that a novelty mask was stuffed with tissue because we thought it was horrific when a person was shot. I think it’s called “whataboutism”.

          • jesterpunk

            Dead Breitbart is defending Palin and Nugent and saying what Kathy Griffin did was a lot worse. They are trying to claim they where so respectful to Obama now. Its amazing how much of their base believes that bullshit too.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Yeah, buying a novelty mask, stuffing it with tissue and having your picture taken is WAY worse than literally threatening to shoot the President and Mrs. Clinton with a machine gun he had in his possession at the time. If I had done that, we wouldn’t be talking right now because I would be in prison.

            At the same time, where was all this “moral outrage” about Sasha and Malia? Sasha was only about nine years old when 45 accused her father of lying about his birth certificate.

            Kathy Griffin is, by her own admission, a D-list celebrity. What she says/does does not impact anyone else really. She has no stream of influence. DJT? Well, we see what his words, actions or silence impacts.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        They aren’t silent about it, they’re cheering. If they’d been on the Titnanic they would’ve been pointing and laughing at the drowning liberals while they died of hypothermia.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          It’s all about so-called “liberal tears” with these idiots.

          Funny, they’ve never made me want to cry.

          Punch something? Yes. Cry? I reserve that for special occasions like the death of my mother or stubbing my toe in the night.

    • BadKitty904
    • biologydave

      Of all the statements to make, her’s (or whoever’s idea it was) was the worst possible because of how easy it will be to identify this with “our enemies”. It wouldn’t take an editor 30 minutes to splice together a great attack ad. Personally, I neither condone or decry what she did, but there didn’t seem to be a lot of long-term thought.

    • Edith Prickly

      Of course they are. It’s not like they can fundraise off their accomplishments. “Give us money so we can fuck you harder!”

  • Lucas Foxx

    Interesting. Coincidentally, while waiting for a fresh Wonkette post, I wandered over to Politifact and learned about this guy Stryker:
    http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/article/2017/may/31/If-youre-fooled-by-fake-news-this-man-probably-wro/

    While there, found another thing Obama did that Trump wants credit for: IceBreakers. Kinda odd, considering Trump’s environmental policies seem designed to remove all the ice from our poles anyway.

    http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2017/may/24/donald-trump/trump-goes-bit-overboard-icebreaker-claim/

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    It is time for me to say goodbye, my dear Wonkeroos. I will now delete this account in order to return tomorrow. I will see you on the other side.

    • TJ Barke

      No one cares.

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        You cared.

    • Suttree

      Eat a bag of salted rat dicks.

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        That’s not very nice. Try using your kind words.

      • Bobathonic

        Maybe if you said “please”.

    • Anna Rompage

      Be careful not to fall on an eggplant while taking a shower this evening… I hear it’s rather embarrassing to have to got to the ER to have it removed from your arse

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        I practice carnivorism, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Edith Prickly

      Bye loser!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Oh, dammit I missed it?

  • Raan

    Since I trust all of you to carry on talking politics, here are a bunch of crackers I just baked.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/178d1a739c85ff587502e20902ef2a8bd49056232637dd945ef659e1e611ab85.jpg

    • MizzMazz

      Those look tasty!

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    This article is triggering me! I was once found on a corner in Winslow, AZ, cradling an empty pizza box, insisting I be called “Her Royal Sauciness The Duchess Crustwick, Queen of Mozzarellavilletown.” Low blood sugar is no joke, people!

    • Suttree
    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Such a fine sight to see.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It’s a girl by Jeez, and she’s covered in cheese…

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Flowin’ down tomato low cat knee.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            HAHA!!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • WotsAllThisThen

        needz moar flat bed ford

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        blurg someone beat me to it.

      • Yr. Gma

        Where’s the flatbed Ford?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’ve been to Winslow, there’s not much of anything else there…

      • monoglot

        Way back in about 1999, I drove my two girls quite a few miles out of the way on vacation just to be able to snap a photo of them standing on that very corner. Holographic flat bed Ford (and the eagle in the upper left window) make the photo an excellent diagnostic tool for whether or not someone is worth talking to: don’t get the reference, don’t get more conversation…

      • Kateaux

        2016 has a hell of a lot to answer for, and not all of it happened on the 8th of November.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      That was such a fine sight to see.

      h/t Bill D. Burger, who got there first. (downthread)

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Which is unfortunate, because Mega is actually now a fairly useful service. I use it for some school and business stuff. AFAIK the only free cloud storage with upstream and downstream crypto.

  • Edith Prickly

    It’s a lovely late spring evening in TO and and I am waiting outside the local movie house for a friend to see WONDER WOMAN!! So stoked!

  • Sheepshagger

    Seeing as all of you need cheering up- here’s some notes I found carefully arranged on the little thoroughfare near my house where the kids walk home from school. Take that Eric! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd609cc1182f11010a7e91ca576e04d05132c1a7583dec84b734252fe29f0c91.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/130fc2026d026b00f25c8a9b0f2db9efc7428d39e4a466dcb1999de8210a1a77.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      That Eric. I tell ya, man…

      • Sheepshagger

        The head on the racist fuck, I tell ta. Like a bowling ball on a chopstick.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        He used to be cool but… It’s from running around with Brad.

    • janecita

      I’ve never met a non racist Eric.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Eric Cartman libelz!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ughhh…these fuckers really are going full dictatorship, aren’t they?

      • BadKitty904

        They’re not even pretending any more. And America does nothing about it.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          They are acting like there are absolutely no consequences to their behavior.

          Because there isn’t.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            and where are all the “fiscal conservatives” on this?

            STOP LAUGHING!

          • BadKitty904

            They can safely drop that lie now.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            “Fistula conservatives”
            “Fisting conservatives”

            Conservatives begging for a fist. I feel like obliging them on that. But I never get away with it when I do any shit.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            They’re all wanking over the possibility of a Federal anti-abortion law …

          • BadKitty904

            None that I can see.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        yes

        fucking yes

    • Pisto75666

      Christ…just when I think these lunatics can’t get any worse, THEY GET WORSE.

      • MizzMazz

        I always thought the goal of the campaign was to launch Trump TV, because he thought he wouldn’t actually win, but now he’s got both? I’m going back to movies for a bit.

        • Pisto75666

          I haven’t watched watched anything Trump related (except through Sam Bee & Keith Olberman’s shows) since November. My DVD player, Hulu, & Netflix accounts on the other hand, have gotten good workouts.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Us (nominally) normal people are not capable of groking just what extreme malignant evil is capable of. They will continue to get worse. We have crossed the event horizon, I’m afraid.

        • Pisto75666

          We crossed it November 8th, sadly.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Calm down. This is the Board that oversees VOA, not some new Trump propaganda arm. Bad enough, but not what this thread is making it out to be.

        • Pisto75666

          Try that again but this time with MORE condescension. People LOVE that.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            There there, don’t be offended.

            Like that? Glad to oblige.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Remarkable how such…..robust…..people manage to limbo under the lowest of bars so consistently.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        That’s what radioactive mutant slime mold scum can do. Seemingly effortlessly these days.

    • Jamoche

      The worst thing about the IRS discovering that I completely missed stock options on my 2014 taxes (when I sent them in I was 2 days off major surgery and didn’t remember I wasn’t done) is that I had to pay fed taxes for the first time this year. I was kind of enjoying the nice severance package and not doing that.

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Andy LAck, who is currently busy sucking Donnie’s tiny knob in order to get Pai to end net neutrality for his bosses at Comcast

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yes. This amused me.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This is not “Trump TV.” This is the stacking, widely reported months ago, of the Broadcasting Board of Governors, which overseas VOA, which is already American propaganda. Always check sources when it comes from ShareBlue. LWNM.

  • ariel_gee_398

    What was that about not wanting the rest of the world to laugh at us?
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/870730316893360130

    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, GOP!

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    And that’s 25 hours with no hot water. Folks were yelling at the poor manager this morning, she seemed happy I just wanted to pay my rent.

    I guess the boiler for the building is out.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Better in the summer than the winter, right? Brr!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        That’s fer shure. And at least we have some water and can use the restroom.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          oh yeah, it’s worse when ALL the water is out.

          What’s worse is when you discover all the water’s out AFTER you’ve done a little bidness.

    • MizzMazz

      Our hot water heater went out during the xmas holidays a few years ago. Boiled water on the stove for bathing, to go to work at 3AM for a week. You KNOW landlord would not put up with no hot water for a fukken week! You should get credit for the time the hot water is out.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Yikes! Well, water is billed as part of utilities, so I guess not taking baths will show on the bill for next month.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Shit, Anna! That really sucks :(

      Before we moved here, Lady J and I lived for ten years in a duplex with no gas, ergo no heat. It really, really sucked. Sad thing was, the rent wasn’t even that good. We had to take our showers at Planet Fitness.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        That really sux. :( Hopefully they’ll get the boiled fixed by tomorrow. I got bills paid and did my Payday shopping, so I can just be lazy tomorrow.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I hope they will too. You sacrificed to make the bills, you deserve to just be lazy tomorrow and to hell with anyone saying otherwise.

          Funny, innit? If you missed a bill, you’d get it turned off faster than they work to fix it after you have paid. c’est la vie.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I’m calmed down now. I almost destroyed two fingers on the table saw so, instead of building something to make me feel better over all this Trump/GOP/Russian/White Trash Scum shit, I took a nap with the kittehs. That made them very happy so I accomplished something.

    ObTopic: Sean Hannity is an unredeemable piece of shit with a face just made for a Louisville Slugger heavy hardwood vote.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Except they’re so little they look like mice.

        • OneYieldRegular

          They’re “Mousekittehrs.”

          I’ll see myself out, thanks.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        But how do I swallow kitteh’s? Do I need to take kitteh’s with food or on an empty stomach? What possible side effects are there from kitteh’s? What are kitteh’s contraindications? Can I drive or operate heavy machinery wile taking kitteh’s? Is there a risk of diabetic ketoacidosis while on kitteh’s? Can I talk to my doctor before starting or stopping kitteh’s? Will I notice changes in mood swing, new or worsening depression with kitteh’s?

        I really took that all the way, didn’t I? I deserve an applause gif for that, I think.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I took a nap with my four doggies. If I ever write my autobiography, it’s going to be titled Quit with the Licking.

  • One of our high profile local officials was discovered last night outside of the interstate rest stop naked, masturbating, and holding a bottle of his own urine.

    He was not intoxicated.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Sleepwalking and dreaming about a typical day in the office?

    • BadKitty904

      I hate when that happens.

    • Sheepshagger

      Buy that man some meth.

    • RobKanC

      Was it meth?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Meth is too potent for that idiot. He was on meh.

      • Well, he wath a HOT METH, Thweety!

    • Sheepshagger

      I would’ve at least put the piss bottle down.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Haven’t we all been there?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      So he forgot the Depends. So what.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
      • Fun with Cthulhu

        Thanks for sharing that. I love me some KitH.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I went back and rewatched the series a few years ago. It’s held up remarkably well, plus I was an impressionable age watching it the first time around and it was kind of fascinating to realize what an influence it had on my sense of humor.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Spicer is no doubt looking over his shoulder at his replacement.

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • Sheepshagger

        “Google recommends “Howard Hughes” custom search”

      • Raan

        Create that alert.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I feel like my life is brimming a bit too much with vicarious excitement as it is.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            You’re probably right.

            Leave out the bottle part.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        They have a bot for that.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Did they take Miss Lindsey home or call for BFF McCain to come pick him up?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Naw. The boys couldn’t find a vehicle big enough for Miss Lindsey’s fainting couch so they just let things be until morning.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          True story, my mum and some of her friends once bought a loveseat at a garage sale and tried to get it home on a city bus.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            LOL!

            I take it they didn’t know that the loveseat had to pay the fare, too?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Double the fare, even! Two-seater and all.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I didn’t know you live in Florida.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Who among us has not found themselves naked in a rest stop while flogging the dolphin with a bottle of pee.

      Hey, where you guys going?

      • janecita

        Right? That’s what I call a Tuesday.

    • hendenburg2

      Kinda reminds me of that Kony 2012 dude…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Who has NOT gone naked to the interstate rest stop to urinate into a bottle and masturbate.
      .
      .
      .
      .
      What!?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He wins the Rob Ford memorial award for best start to the weekend

    • Chris

      I am always doubly worried when they include the information that the person wasn’t under the influence.

  • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

    Damn, I wanted to go to bed, but need to mention that ole Kim is originally from the city where I live.

    I met him a few times at a PC game rental place we both frequented, way back in the early 90s. He struck me as a really shy, very oversized kid (not even a weight reference, that guy is huge) who tried to overcome his shyness by being the loudest in the room, with the most outrageous opinion.

    What a turd.

    • BadKitty904

      The “LOOKIT-ME” Syndrome…

    • Jennifer R

      I did that for a little while, but it was a lot of effort and really shitty so I moved on.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You just described the average troll to a ‘t’. The loudest in the room with the most outrageous opinion.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    This is probably about ethics in gaming journalism.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Really, what isn’t?

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, time to start cleanin’ and shuckin’ ersters (as it’s pronounced locally) for supper. Laters, taters!

    • Anna Rompage

      Damn you, now I want ersters….

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I always want ersters.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Don’t get the canned kind. I say again: Don’t get them canned ersters!

    • WomanInThePersistence
  • Michael R
  • WomanInThePersistence
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Damn onion ninjas! I miss Jim Henson now.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Willie Nelson’s version is a real tearjerker too.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Gawd! I know! Love Willie’s voice.

    • Kateaux

      How did it get so dusty in my room just now?

  • Sheepshagger

    If it’s any consolation Kimmy and his little hacker crew cried like bitches in Mount Eden remand while they were locked up.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Where’s the breaking news?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It’s coming soon.

      • BosGrl

        Here ya go:
        18:32 NBC NEWS
        EXCLUSIVE: Vladimir Putin tells NBC News’ Megyn Kelly that U.S. hackers may have framed Russia for election interference.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I don’t have enough synonyms for bullshit on that.

          • BosGrl

            Drumpf tweet in 3… 2… 1….

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          even though Putin said yesterday “patriotic” russians may have done it?

          He’s going full Trump now.

          • BosGrl

            Wonder how much Drumpf owes him now…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Actually, he’s just being a dick and rubbing our noses in it because he knows that half the dullards here will believe whatever bullshit he says even if it contradicts the bullshit he just spewed the day before- and worse yet, our president is the chief dullard

        • shivaskeeper

          Yesterday it was that if any Russians were involved it was private, patriotic citizens acting on their own because Russia doesn’t do that sort of thing at all.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Thiazin Red

      Really, its almost 6:30 time for Trump Scandal Reveal.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • WotsAllThisThen

        That, my friends, is money well spent.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Is it just me, or does that guy look like he’s just been given a Roofie suppository?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          more like a ghost pepper suppository

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Or is that just the shock-face from getting laid for the first time, and by miss big-boobs no less.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I’m guessing no pre-nup?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        She has the expression that says “take the fucking snapshot, Ima not touching this pig for much longer”.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    goddamit, what is the use of a resume if every place makes you enter in all your previous jobs as well.

    Fuckers.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Dude, only go like 5 years back.

      • BosGrl

        Yeah but if your last job was a lot of years, you kind of have to go back further :(

        • Jennifer R

          I would be so fucked if anyone asked that question. I doubt a single one of my employers is still open.

          • BosGrl

            Of all my post-college jobs over the past 30 years, only my most recent job is still in business.

          • shivaskeeper

            Similar problem coming out of the military. Units don’t exist anymore, entire posts are gone, previous bosses have disappeared for professional references. It’s basically a resume with nothing that can checked on.

          • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

            Of all the places I’ve worked, I think MAYBE three still exist. In one case the business is gone, the building is gone, the intersection it was sited on has been reconfigured and the land rezoned.

          • Jennifer R

            I went to my old college once years later, once they decided to try to force out cars and the campus was radically different. So bizarre that places I was used to seeing roads were now green space.

    • jesterpunk

      I never understood that, you have to upload your resume then the next screen asks you for all the information that is on the resume you just uploaded.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that is exactly what happened…and the auto extract NEVER works right.

  • Me not sure

    Couldn’t sit through the whole video (aaacck), but I did get to part where his fat ass is sitting in a cheap-ass porch rocker like they sell at Cracker Barrels. … What?

  • Rick Hill

    “…giraffe statues, super-powered golf carts…”

    Ok, c’mon. Who WOULDN’T by at least five each of those if they had millions of stolen cash?

    • shoeflyin

      I have a super powered golf cart, they call it a Nissan Leaf

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That’s how I used to describe the Geo Metro hatchback I drove back in the day.

        • shoeflyin

          I’ve been calling it a glorified golf cart cause it runs on batteries – but it’s quick and fun to drive

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I liked that car. Had surprisingly good pick up. And living in Chicago, it couldn’t be beat for street parking. My friend named it The Bubble.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I have noticed, though, that you never see a firefighters’ organization sticker (IAFF or CSFA, for instance) on any of those little, tee ninesy cars.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ah see that’s because of the limited surface area available. Must keep the space free for “keep your rosaries off my ovaries”, Darwin “fish”, “straight but not narrow”, and “hate is not a family value” stickers that we libtards are required by Satan aka Killery to adorn our cars with.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Heeheehee. You coulda called it the Nissan Can’t-Leaf.

      • data_ninja

        I know a buddy that has one of those, he constantly refers to this Simpsons clip:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcmZ1dof3Qw

    • Vecchioivan

      Flying car or gtfo.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Where are the sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads?

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Golf still sucks, even if you drive a Maserati around the course

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but golf carts are awesome.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        It sucks until you chip in from off the green. Then it’s your favorite sport and you can’t wait to play again.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          That sounds like witchcraft to me. Do I need to fire up a stake for you?

  • janecita

    I dropped off my daughter at her friend’s house for a sleepover, and I spent ten minutes playing with the girl’s golden retriever. I love dogs:-)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yay! Something good.

      • janecita

        He made my day.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Dogs are good like that.

    • BosGrl

      Mo-om! You can go home now!!

      • janecita

        Exactly, she kept on giving me dirty looks.

  • mancityRed6
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Did you try using more fabric softener?

      • mancityRed6

        that’s it, I was using flash paper
        *smacks forehead*
        dammit
        *ducks out before anyone sees me*

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Pretty sure you don’t need to dry your clothes quite that quickly.

    • jaspersdad

      That’s what you get for buying Ivanka’s fashions.

      • mancityRed6

        don’t make me come over there

  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    Does that “song’ remind anyone else of the hot mess that the one Housewife of Wherever tried to promote?

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So my email is blowing up about Sunday here in PDX. I need to go talk to my boss about skipping out of work early.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    CNN chyron: President’s spokesman says he can’t speak for President.

    I hate typing LOL, but…………

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I wake up from a nap. And nothing’s changed. World still fucked up.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      So why does the spokesman collect a paycheck, then?

    • DrBigHead

      He has one job……..

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        …and that goat has been blown for the night.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Nuffin’ gets past Putin’s Puppet. He’s two steps ahead……multiverse’ chess vs. checkers….blah, blah….

    [Trump claims tax bill that doesn’t yet exist is ‘moving along’ in Congress
    By NOLAN D. MCCASKILL 06/01/2017 04:20 PM EDT

    President Donald Trump claimed Thursday that tax legislation is advancing through Congress — even though no such bill yet exists.

    “Our tax bill is moving along in Congress, and I believe it’s doing very well,” Trump said Thursday afternoon in a Rose Garden speech announcing that the U.S. will pull out of the Paris global climate pact.

    Although no such legislation exists, Trump said, “I think a lot of people will be very pleasantly surprised.”]

    Guess Salman gave him a crystal ball for his very own.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/06/01/donald-trump-tax-bill-congress-239033

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4c674b16e6247305c019fde2fe2ca45962eaba6567c52805e5016dd9ce3ff5b6.jpg

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Kim Schmitz is just the kind of guy who would be BFFs with Donald. They seem to have the same personality and the same knack for scamming people. I remember reading about this loser back in the late ’90s. His so-called businesses were little more than store fronts for selling T-shirts, hats and other trinkets and he never forgot to ask for donations. Kim is your run-of-the-mill grifter, just like Donald, only less savvy and with more incompetent lawyers. The most pathetic thing is how he hired porn starts to pose like they were in love with him in pictures he would then upload to his Web site. He gave his shit names like “Megacar” and “Megayacht” and then it would surface that the fucking yacht wasn’t his. The only real thing about his parties were the hangers on who then abandoned ship like the rats they always were when Kim got in trouble with the law. Sean Hannity is either being taken for a ride by this con man or (most likely) has found a partner to help him keep conning the rubes who listen to his shit.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      According to Seth Rich’s parents, Dotcom attempted to hack Rich’s GMail account so he could upload postdated “evidence”

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Oh, I can believe that. The guy is scum, no question about it. Ugly-ass fat motherfucker.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        This pisses me off so much. All this is the last thing those poor people need to be dealing with.

  • janecita
    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Softies. Why can’t they just privatize them and let some entrepreneurial folks make some money off of that? Why do the Dutch hate America so much?

      • janecita

        They are weak socialists, bigly losers.

    • tomamitai

      Who would have guessed that “tag and release” would work on criminals?

  • hendenburg2

    Heh…

    Michael Bloomberg is going to raise the money to cover the US’s share of the costs of operating the Paris Accords.

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/06/02/news/michael-bloomberg-trump-paris-climate/index.html

    • Erala Contratista

      Ooooooh!!!!SNAP!! Donnie!!!
      *grinning*

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    So, since it’s the open thread (for now), I just want to say that if you go to the 400 Mile Yard Sale, you see a whole bunch of the kinds of people who think Twitler is great, and one look is enough to tell you that their gene pool needs a whole bunch of chlorine.

    • Rick Hill

      Has the portable microwave emitting Ster-o-lizer been mounted and readied for a 400 mile trip?

    • h4rr4r

      Kentucky, enough said.

    • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

      I have no problem with people like that at yard sales and flea markets. I can usually count on their not having clue one about what they’re selling is actually worth.

      • h4rr4r

        Good point!

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Correct me if I’m getting my instances of fuckery confused, but is this not the self-same thing this very guy had his knickers in a twist over not too very long ago? The fuck is wrong with these people??

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nunes-led-house-intelligence-committee-requested-unmaskings-of-americans/2017/06/02/5c098dc0-47bc-11e7-98cd-af64b4fe2dfc_story.html?tid=sm_fb&utm_term=.af98110b4b6b

  • Jennifer R

    Well fuck I ended up having drunk for breakfast.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Dood. WELL PLAYED!

      • Jennifer R

        I decided to have standards and get one of the hard ciders I like, instead of the 4loko even though it’s almost twice as proofed.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          OMG. One time I bought the vodka with the blue label instead of the red one and I got so shitfaced my ex had to pack the baby off until I came down a little. I was “speaking my mind” for some reason.

          • Jennifer R

            I mean, the 4loko is stronger. Back in the day I was drinking a bottle of whatever liquor happened to be around a day.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            You must have been a hoot!

          • Jennifer R

            Nothing like somehow ending up at waffle house at 2 am let me tell you what.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Naw, yer fine! Go on about yer bidness!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Are you implying that this is unusual?

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            …or that Waffle House is open at other times?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Suddenly, I so want a waffle.

          • Jennifer R

            Not from waffle house you don’t.

          • h4rr4r

            Not at waffle house.

            You have to get the hash browns.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Why not both?

          • h4rr4r

            Because you order the hash browns with all kinds of stuff on, in or with then.
            Covered: with cheese
            Covered: with cheese
            Smothered: with onions
            Chunked: with ham
            Topped: with chili
            Diced: with tomatoes
            Peppered: with hot peppers
            Scattered: spread on the grill
            In a ring: crispy (hashbrowns)
            Capped: with mushrooms
            All the way: everything plus chili
            Double covered: double cheese

            The waffles are nothing special.

            Waffle House is always a meal and a show. The other diners are the show.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And now I am officially hungry. And also suspect that we are talking past each other. Is “Waffle House” an actual chain in your part of the world? I had assumed that this was a generic name for a place that sold waffles.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            it’s a southern place…google and ye shall find.

          • h4rr4r

            Waffle House is not a chain, it is an institution! Also a chain.

            Primarily in the southern US. I am no where near one now, but visit whenever I am in the south.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, that clears things up. I’m in the PNW, and obviously missed a few clues. And now I want a hash brown dish, covered in stuff and things..

          • h4rr4r

            If you get the chance check one out. FEMA has an index based on Waffle House.

          • Erala Contratista

            Thanks for this! I knew about the show, but am not crazy for waffles. Love hash browns, tho.
            Next time in WH land we’ll try it.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I prefer to have drunk for brunch. Of course, it’s my weekend.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        And it’s upon us. Go in peace.

      • Jennifer R

        Well I figured that I had been up for an indeterminant amount of time so a burrito and hard cider would be ok.

        • Les Appentis De la résistance

          It usually is.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, at least it has some caloric content?

    • snark-lurker

      twice in one day? ; )

  • New Zealander here. I voted for Kim’s party last time because I really believed that anyone whom the MPAA, RIAA, FBI and mainstream pols were after must be a cool guy. Boy do I feel stupid.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      It’s OK, sweetie. We all make mistakes.

      • snark-lurker

        On that level? Me not think so.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Your name makes up for it.

    • ryp

      That sounds a lot like why people voted for Trump.

  • DainBramage

    Just saw Wonder Woman and greatly enjoyed it. But seriously, how can Gal Gadot be that beautiful?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Cuz ppl wait for her?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      DNA. Cheekbones like that are all DNA.

    • Doug Langley

      Genetic engineering. You did know Hollywood grows starlets in a secret farm in Marin County, didn’t you?

      • ltmcdies

        Isn’t she Israeli

  • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

    Well, I’ve discovered all sorts of ways NOT to make cheese omelettes.
    They still tasted good, though.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      My rule with “exotic” egg recipes is basically “if I fuck it up really bad, can I just pour sriracha over it and call it a day?”

      The answer is always “yes”, not surprisingly.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        For eggs I prefer Cholula, but I second this.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I have no idea what that even is, but I second your second making it a fourth. Cheers.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s a very tasty hot sauce.
            My second favorite, after Texas Pete.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I can eat Texas Pete with cracker. I am strange an I love hot sauces.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            It’s yummy is what it is! Not particularly hot in my opinion, but the flavor is great.
            http://www.cholula.com

          • Erala Contratista

            Agreed. I use it for eggs for the flavor. Other sauces are just hot vinegar.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            And not price restrictive at all. I will give this a shot. Thank you. :)

    • Alan

      Try feta with tomatoes and onion. Greek restaurant nearby serves them. Mmmm.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    When life gives you lemons, make lemonade*.
    ______________________________________
    * assuming life also gave you water, sugar, ice and a pitcher

    • Truck Fump

      If it gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Freaky Friday query…

    I am looking on eBay for a magic monkey skull so I can body switch with someone younger, thinner and smarter than me. I’ve only found a few so far. And I think most are fakes. It’s kinda discouraging. Suggestions?

  • redblack

    yeeeah, and i’m king redblack the third, ruler of this here barstool.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      OK. Whatever.

      • redblack

        i was referring to the story above.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Gotcha. And welcome!

          • redblack

            aside: i used to post on the original wonkette (the DC gossip) when it had its own comment section, about 8 or 10 years ago. been lurking for years, recently got a disqus acct.

            but thanks for the welcome, and cheers.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      You fart on it, it’s yours. Them’s the rules.

  • Bill D. Burger

    BOOM! Goes la dynamite! I like him!

    [French President Emmanuel Macron launched an astonishing broadside at President Trump last night, attacking Trump’s decision to withdraw the United States from the Paris climate accord.

    “I do think it’s an actual mistake, both for the United States and for the world,” Macron said. “To all scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs, responsible citizens who were disappointed by the decision of the president of the United States, I want to say that they will find in France a second homeland. I call on them: Come here and work with us.”
    And he didn’t just criticize the president; he turned Trump’s signature phrase against him. In English.
    “We all share the same responsibility,” he concluded his remarks. “Make our planet great again.”

    Don’t underestimate the significance of Macron’s choice to deliver his comments in Trump’s native language. He knew the clip would be replayed ad nauseam on cable news, Trump’s entertainment of choice. ]

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/06/02/frances-new-president-is-emerging-as-one-of-the-loudest-anti-trump-voices-in-europe/?utm_term=.3b28652223a6

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBRQzp6XgAIH3Nv.jpg

    • georgiaburning

      Macron needs to be seen on cable news and quoted on twitter as much as possible. 45 hates to share the spotlight and will go way overboard to compete.

      • ltmcdies

        Yeh I’m reading twitter rumors that Trump is pissed this whippersnapper is beating him at hand shakes and being 31 years younger

  • chascates

    I say we make him the West’s personal emissary to meet with the leaders of ISIS. Or zombies. Either way.

  • Marceline

    Time for the Friday Obama. Remember those who voted to destroy this planet because “both parties are the same.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d18608eca21ac121783e4f24be0117a008de3297be5db03b0aaffe260c107e6c.jpg

    • Persistent Demme

      And who thought that burning it down would bring on a “revolution.”
      Soooooo worth it, huh?
      *eyeroll*

  • boyblue122

    For anyone who follows various govt “alt-accounts” on twitter, Snopes made what they called a verified list of government twitter “alt-accounts”. Like BadHombreNPS, RogueEPAStaff, etc for example.

    How they went about verifying accounts

    Our methods for verification are varied: they involve everything from meeting with or speaking to the people behind the accounts and double- and triple-checking their information and IDs, to getting those persons we have already verified to vouch for others, to working with other trusted third parties to verify information

  • Bill D. Burger

    Smellyanne’ was everywhere today. You know the shit is hitting the fan when they drag out Sewar Rat Barbie to fling her signature poo (aka: alternative facts) at everything from the jobs report to James Comey testifying:
    Even Betty noticed:

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/870640022457921537

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I think we should change the names of the months in the Trump era. For instance, today would be the 2nd of What The Fuck…our next holiday will be the 4th of You Gotta Be Kidding Me, etc.

    • Ωbjectifier

      I Can’t Even 23, 2017. Or Euro style, 23 I Can’t Even 2017

  • Jennifer R
    • jesterpunk

      Lock him up for doing the unmasking?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Let’s just lock everyone up and be done with it.

        Hell, lock me up if that’ll get redneck idiots to stop chanting it.

  • BadKitty904

    Opening oysters whilst fighting off two cats is no kinda joke. I need a glass o’ wine…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2885141807ead65a88c8d433c7a9932a8b5e41f0ab7bb9dc5f8c1107959a25e.jpg

    • Rick Hill

      Funny how I enjoy fighting two cats for their oysters.

      • Erala Contratista

        In any case, you really need one of them oyster shuckin’ gloves. For the knife AND cats.
        Can’t be too safe!

    • TundraGrifter

      Looks like you could swim laps in the wine glass and drink out of the tub.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      does that company make a beer stein?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Beer N. Stain Bears? I missed a lot since childhood.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Why the hell weren’t you drinking a glass of wine, already?

      • BadKitty904

        Alcohol + oyster knife = no.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Come on – arterial bleeding builds character!

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Takes meat off your bones.

            Puts hairs in you chest.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That’s my nephew-by-Internet! Continue being wise!

          • BadKitty904

            “The voice of experience”…

    • Natalie

      The glass to use, when you are only having one (bottle).

      • BadKitty904

        “But I only had one drink!”

    • Dg Hacket

      Nice suds!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Rick Hill
  • TundraGrifter

    Perhaps they will book Kim into the prison cell next to Allen Stanford – The precious metals scammer InSannity said had a name “as good as gold.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUDCRtY7z34

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/18/sean-hannity-allen-stanfo_n_168024.html

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I’m working on a remake of the 1973 western and renaming it “White Plains Grifter”. Can you guess who I’m casting?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    I’ve been watching military history lectures again today. I saw about HR McMaster. When he was a Captain, he commanded “Eagle Troop” of the 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment during Desert Storm. At the Battle of 73 Easting, Eagle and Ghost Troops pretty much destroyed the Tawalkana Division of the Iraqi Republican Guard. When, during OIF, McMaster commanded the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment in Iraq, he told his troopers that every time they disrespected an Iraqi citizen, they were creating a recruit for the uprising.

    What the Actual fuck happened to this man, that he’s a lickspittle for Trump now?

    • boyblue122

      Every person or business associated with Drumpf turns to crap

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        He’s got the Midas touch, if Midas turned everything he touched into shit.

    • snark-lurker

      A brother-in-law went thru’ West Point with him & this not the same guy he knew then. Mebbee he is a pod-people.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        That’s almost as good of an explanation as any. I wonder how history will judge McMaster?

        • Jennifer R

          Maybe he thinks if he toes the line publically he can privately exert more influence?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Maybe, but why would he still think that? Nobody holds any influence with this train wreck. What good does it do to be the most competent officer on a ship wreck?

          • Jennifer R

            Well to a degree he has to agree with what they say publically, or resign his commision. That is a thing to remember as well.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            This is very true. He’s in a very untenable situation here.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            That makes a kind of sense. I shudder to think of the “inside” story of Trump’s Admin.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            That’s what I’m hoping.

        • snark-lurker

          You wonder? Every meddle he ever earned now haz 3 aztereck clusters attached (IMHO).

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Senility? Feeling the sudden desire to preserve “precious bodily fluids”? There’s honestly not much accounting for a lot of officers once they transition into civilian life. Some can hack it, others not so much.

      Who knows really?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Indeed. It’s sad though. I would have admired the officer he was.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Me too. He had a storied career and I can still respect that, no matter what he becomes now.

          Sometimes peopleing is hard.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Thing is, I bought his book. The Bushistas tried to up or out him for years. This is a very serious guy. He’s just in a tragically hopeless situation he thought he could save us from because he thought there were norms.

    • mancityRed6

      beats the hell out of getting drunk at the VFW every night?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        xD

      • snark-lurker

        good times there, and the Am Legion in Cheyoming

      • georgiaburning

        Being a 3-star he could at least pay his tab

    • Ωbjectifier

      Battle of 73 Easting? That must be a bleak landscape if the only name they could come up with is map coordinate.

      • georgiaburning

        If UTM is all you got, you go with it

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Yep. The Coalition was navigating with GPS by the Eastings. Saddam bet that no one could navigate those trackless wastes, and that’s how 2nd ACR caught the flank of the Republican Guard.

        Keep in mind that Eagle and Ghost Troops are not even a Battalion worth of Abrams tanks and Bradley Cavalry vehicles.

        • georgiaburning

          Quite a lot of Garmin and Delorme handhelds were bought up by the troops. Getting lost in any desert is not fun.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I can imagine. I see Garmins in wartime photos all the time.

    • ltmcdies

      Military guys are loyal to their country and their chain of command.
      And maybe he figures if he goes there is no sane guy in the room

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      He feels responsible for saving the country?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know, I genuinely believe that he’s been to meetings in this WH and feels he’s the only thing standing between us and the abyss. He might not even be wrong. But he’s not the least thing Trump is going to destroy before this is over.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        You know, I’m going to adopt your charitable attitude and assume that McMaster is acting as he feels he must.

        He was too good of a Tanker and Cavalryman not to have earned the benefit of the doubt.

    • Alan

      Sense of duty. I don’t think he gives a crap who’s in the Oval Office, he has an assignment and he’s gonna do it.

  • Jennifer R

    People, what should I be looking at for making a video capture of my screen?

    • mancityRed6

      your game? several things, map size for one. I can only play open world sandbox games now and I’m fairly certain (due to their incresaed popularity) a lot of other people feel the same.

      • Jennifer R

        I mean, what program should I be looking at to record the contents of my screen to make a video for people to look at.

        • mancityRed6
          • Jennifer R

            Oh score, VLC isn’t my go to player (MPC) but I do have it installed.

          • mancityRed6

            I used VLC a lot when I had a mac, it’s great for burning backups that you actually own.

          • Jennifer R

            Or VLC is a crashing piece of shit and I remember why I don’t use it.

          • mancityRed6

            it did that a lot too, if I asked to much of it.

          • Jennifer R

            I guess recording 2 minutes of javascript in my browser is too much.

    • Doug Langley

      Camtasia works fine. I’ve used it.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        On the Macs, I use ScreenFlow.

  • jesterpunk

    Interesting, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross wrote music for the Ken Burns Vietnam War series.

    http://www.nin.com/

  • Rick Hill

    So, I don’t usually bring the Wonks too many glimpses of Rick Hill world but, today almost ended poorly. Self was down in Bellbrook. One of those quaint older municipalities on the outskirts to Dayton. Grown up now and beautiful farmland is now dotted with Mcmansions. So it’s a mix of wealthy folks and poor local ones. Anyhoo, finished up my project, got the Ameros and decide to stop at the Krogers on the way home. Since Jack dawg Hill was with me I park in the only shade in the lot, basically the farthest point from the entrance. So, no malingering, just out of the truck, goes in, does my shopsing and comes back. Again, just load up the truck, take my cart alllll the way to a coral and then leave. It’s one of those complexes that have a bunch of different stores over a mile or so and there’s an access road out front that’s set back from the main road. Well, as I leave I look in the mirror and notice a police car has pulled up just where self was parked. Ever innocent me still goes “Ruh roh!” and I watch. Sure enough, he is following me. Well, I kept on going and turned into the bank to make my deposit. It’s odd, you have to drive all the way around and then back where you started to get to the ATM. Surely he can’t be following me. Come around and he is slowly driving and turns into the lot of the retirement building and makes a turn to come back. So, I’m in line waiting and he’s making his turn. I’m nudging and pushing lazy Jack dawg so the idiot can see I have a dog in the car and that’s why I was so far away. Jack’s being lazy and thinks he did something wrong but finally dumb butt sits up. Fcking cop finally drove away but damn! Could have hassled me and found some reason to be a huge dick.

    • mancityRed6

      you might or might not be surprised how many idiots bring their dog to the store only to leave them in a hot car.
      this might be a case of someone who was being a good owner/friend. yeah, maybe. or just maybe you look like a criminal
      *side eye*
      are you?

      • snark-lurker

        You should know!

        • mancityRed6

          it’s kinda hard to do the secret hand shake online…jeez, for all I know they could be a cop out to collect on those warrants I…someone might have.

      • Rick Hill

        I do a great job at sales because, one reason, people trust me in their homes. And the windows are always rolled down the whole way when it’s hot and Jacks there. Two guys at the Goodwill watched me pull up but may not have seen Jack. Someone called and they responded. Not doing anything wrong but the empty can or two in the back of the truck may have given a diferent impression. Any rate, I understand how black folks can feel when they are out. I felt like I was lucky….

        • mancityRed6

          I’m not judging, but a dog in the truck and an empty or two…you might be a redneck.
          The only time I’ve ever seen it, I made sure that the store was paged.

  • Doug Langley

    TGIF.

    We took the kiddies to a park and went on a hike. Nevermind some of then REALLY hate hikes. Anyway, two small ones couldn’t keep up. I was with them watching everyone else disappear down the trail. Quick quiz: guess how quick “gets separated” turns into “gets lost”? Yup, that fast. We eventually made it back together. Boss chided me for not bringing my mobile phone with me. How do I explain I can’t AFFORD a mobile phone?

    We then had pizza and went to a movie. I can guarantee your movie experience this weekend will be way better. “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” is just dismal, unless you’re eight years old. Best part is a quick bit that parodies the Psycho shower scene.

    Boss wants me back next week. Don’t know if full time, part time, what. I’ll take anything.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      ~hugs~

      • Doug Langley

        Thanks, I needed that.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      OK, so.

      Would a prepaid cell phone help?

      • Doug Langley

        If you can vouch for one, I’ll consider it. But am very paranoid of deals too good to be true, cuz they’ll stick it to you one way or another.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Do you have an Amazon account?

          • Doug Langley

            Think I did once.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            I’m in as well.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            OK, so, if you sign up for one and put a pre-paid cell phone on your list and post the link (or maybe send it to the editrix to pass on), I’ll buy it for you. I remember not having the nickels and dimes to stay employed. That sucks.

          • Doug Langley

            Hold that thought . . .

          • Doug Langley

            I still have my go fund me set up, would that be easier?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            OK.

          • Doug Langley

            My gofundme is:

            gofundme.com/dougs-expenses

            A hundred bucks should cover it all. I’ll get something this weekend. Thanks.

          • Doug Langley

            I got the phone. Total costs, phone, activation fee, etc etc, came to $140. The gofundme is:

            gofundme.com/dougs-expenses

            I really appreciate it, thanks.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            So, that’s not what I agreed to, but whatever. I’m uncomfortable with gofundme’s donation policies, so pls email your address to wadset97609@mypacks.net

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I sent an Amazon e-gift card for $140 to the email you sent me, but it doesn’t seem to have been picked up yet?

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      It’s a better ending than ‘Took kids on a hike and everyone came back #withafewexceptions.’

    • Alan

      Well you didn’t lose any of them did you? Tell boss to chill.

      • Doug Langley

        Boss is very mild, but it’s a good point. We had no way of communicating and no way to coordinate plans.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Last time I took kids on a hike, a pretty challenging climb to the top of
      Mt. Pisgah
      , they got ahead, ran back, ran ahead, ran back, and pretty much climbed the damned thing twice on the way up. They were a bit less active going down the other side.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Good times! Here’s Dan Rather saying, politely, that Il Douche is fucking nuts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnxj6_f_2ss
    (You may want to skip to 0:30)

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I won’t be so polite.

      Dude is fucking crazy.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    The White House is telling federal agencies to blow off Democratic lawmakers’ oversight requests, as Republicans fear the information could be weaponized against President Donald Trump.

    At meetings with top officials for various government departments this spring, Uttam Dhillon, a White House lawyer, told agencies not to cooperate with such requests from Democrats, according to Republican sources inside and outside the administration.

    Trump orders agencies to ignore information requests from Democrats

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      tell me again how tyrannical Obama was and how corrupt HIllary was.

      jeesus these fuckin’ people.

      • jesterpunk

        Obama was presidenting while black and Hillary is a women.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Imagine their horror when we elect a non-white vagina haver. There’ll be hell to pay someday, put it all on the bill.

          We’ll always be paying and paying until
          We’re beyond expiration with a license to thrill.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          who had emails. of murder

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            dun Don DUUUN!

    • jesterpunk
      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Queen and Bowie together was the most epic event in music history, imo.

        • jesterpunk

          Bowie and Bing Crosby was awesome too but that was a christmas song. For non Christmas music I would agree with you.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That, right there, has been a Christmas staple here since we got the internet. One of the many videos we HAVE to watch that time of year.

            Of course, the other is the Tales from the Crypt episode “And All Through The House”. Larry Drake was just awesome.

    • snark-lurker

      Can this be fixed with the 2nd Amendment? Is that the only way to end this level of corruption in the Exective?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I don’t want a martyr. It would be blamed on Hillary, as she is well known killing machine.

        • snark-lurker

          hrc would weather it

    • Swampgas_Man

      That can’t be legal, can it?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Probably not. Expect lawsuits … or rather more lawsuits.

    • TootsStansbury

      I have to go to a March tomorrow and behave myself. I am particularly throwy and burny this week. Not because President illegitimatetreasoncriminalspy copped out of the climate agreement but because he cemented our pariah state status. I’m not shitting bricks and rebar or whatever, I am pissed the fuck off at the GOP, their enablers and their stupid, fucking Orc army.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      What a fucking asshole he is. Full story (and a pic that captures the shitgibbon in all his ugly glory):
      http://www.politico.com/story/2017/06/02/federal-agencies-oversight-requests-democrats-white-house-239034

  • Rick Hill
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      *snerk*

    • Doug Langley

      What’s with giving Jared all that money? Oh, I get it . . . he has the license to bill.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Damn, I forgot, because long, long week.

    Longform Dominic!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4d67d39b046655d1fbf8662a6c26422f031e96f71277aa4facb846670bcee85.gif

    (because they can take my federal government, but I’m not going to let them have yay gifs)

  • MaiaVA

    This was an unexpectedly bad day. My daughter was worried about her cat; lethargic, doesn’t want to do the stairs, isn’t screaming for food…

    So, I went with her to take kitty to the vet. Kidney failure. Almost no functioning. We had to put down the cat my daughter has loved for half of her life.

    Beau was 16 years old, had a good life. He was an amazing cat; if you’ve ever known a Maine Coon, you know what I mean. RIP, Beau-man.

    • h4rr4r

      I feel for you and sadly understand.

      Lost one to that when I was a kid and have a 14 year old former stray we are getting concerned about.

      • MaiaVA

        Best wishes to your kitty-friend.

        • h4rr4r

          Thanks, he is a tough old bastard so I am sure he will hang on.

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      I’m so sorry. Putting a long time pet to sleep is so hard.

      • MaiaVA

        Thank you. He was born in our front bushes when my daughter was 15. We’ve had him since he weened. It’s so hard to lose them.

        • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          It’s very hard. We put down our family dog at fifteen when I was 16. I still miss her.

    • jesterpunk

      My Maine Coon had to be put down for the same reason at the same age, sorry for your loss.

      • MaiaVA

        Thank you. They are incredible cats.

        • so so sorry. we have a 7 year old maine coon and he is our light and joy. having lost many over the years i know it’s inevitable but god Z will be esp hard.

          may you find some comfort in the near term.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Losing a beloved animal is a special kind of pain. You have my symmpathy.

      • MaiaVA

        Thank you.

    • Rick Hill

      I, personally, think the most commonly shared feeling, the one that’s very much identical in almost everyone, is the one we feel for our furry buddies. No complexities, just genuine and true, what makes it so that we all understand and feel it when someone loses their friend. My sincere condolences to you all

      • MaiaVA

        You’re so right. I’m grateful I have you Wonkers to turn to. Thanks for being here.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Oh, I’m so sorry. :(

      • MaiaVA

        It sucks, Anna. Thank you.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          ~hugs~ I’ve lost a beloved kitty myself.

    • Persistent Demme

      Aw, damn!
      It’s always hard.
      So sorry.
      (I wish it could be easier.)

      • MaiaVA

        Me too. Thank you.

    • DainBramage

      I’m so sorry for your and your daughter’s loss. Take care.

      • MaiaVA

        Thank you.

    • memzilla Ω

      Over the rainbow bridge, to where the tuna cans are always open, the mice are all lame, and the catnip is always fresh. Rest In Purrs.

      • MaiaVA

        That is lovely! Thank you.

        • Patriciapcox

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !du285c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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        • Mabelwbernard

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        • Joannefdavis

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !do243c:
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      • Little Lulu Ω

        ❤️

      • SnarkON

        So heaven for Maine Coon Cats is simultaneously hell for mice and tuna. (But I am really sorry about your kitty, MaiaVA.)

    • mancityRed6

      My first ex and I got Brady
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4353279fa23745ded38269ddb13e00338ed44a62c9445351a31c5e6b47f5c7d1.jpg
      when she was 8. Seven years later and after some trouble with her eye, and her thyroid problem that masked a kidney problem, it was time.
      I left work early and took her outside to sit in the sun while I drank whiskey and told her all she meant to me.

      • MaiaVA

        What a beautiful baby. Drinking is definitely happening. *hugs*

        • mancityRed6

          oh, I cried like a baby…and I’m looking at my 15 year old now…

        • mancityRed6

          condolences, my apologies, I should have made that clearer. some things in life are damn hard. the years of joy they give are wiped out in a few minutes of grief, but the memories remain.

          • MaiaVA

            Thank you. I felt like you were clear. My poor kid has never lost a pet before. I feel most terrible for her.

          • mancityRed6

            I watched my mom lose her cat of 21 years to a stroke. She spent a few days in a chair looking at pictures, remembering the good times. It helps to do so.
            Grief is natural.

      • Suse

        She looks like our sweet Brownie, who we lost to cancer at 16.

        • mancityRed6

          Brady was a biter, especially if she had some catnip nearby, but…always. she tried her teeth on you.
          my favorite, I was in the downstairs bathroom with the two other cats…they’re all watching me…and Brady takes the normal alpha and proceeds to hold her down while Brady licks her ears.
          I laughed so hard I …yeah…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Alessandra (Kiki to her friends) … hunkered down in the snow, and waited for the deer to wander by. She’d then pop up and chase them. Kidney failure after 17 great years …

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ba87d6922887cc1b10458a8cef4e53c6f598c43af88968843be6051d7d42d274.jpg

      • MaiaVA

        Chasing deer!!! What a great and beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing that.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          She was a teeny thing, too. Six pounds at the most, but a LOT of white fur everywhere …

    • NellCote71

      I am so sorry. My rescue dog, as perverse as she is, means the world to me. Not a day goes by that she fails to make me laugh. But her age is beginning to show, and I get tears in my eyes just writing this.

    • Doug Langley

      John Cole on Balloon Juice has a Maine Coon. Used to talk about him all the time. Amazing creatures.

    • TootsStansbury

      They enrich our lives and it is heartbreak when they leave us but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    • Suse

      Aww… sorry that you lost your sweet Beau. 😿😿😿

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Aw. Maine Coons are very zen cats. I’m so sorry for your daughter. That’s a hard thing to face for the first (/any) time.

    • Yr. Gma

      How sad. Kidney issues are so common in older cats. I’ve been there myself. It sucks.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I had one. The most beautiful cat, and so funny! She was a great cat.

    • Moebym Reborn
    • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

      I am so sorry. They are so much a part of our lives, and yet they are gone all too soon.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      We celebrate the life of Beau, and the humans who made his life good and whose lives were made special by his being a part of theirs.

      • MaiaVA

        That is so beautiful. Thank you. May I share that on my book of faces thingy?

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Please feel free. Thank you for sharing and giving us the chance to share.

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Our baby boy, Rooskie, died on New Years Day. He was 18. After a couple of months of mourning we got Ivan here, who has made us feel a little better.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6d4418b8a0ef06f4a55cb41597ad167e4f00a64f1fc9f3dfe454784ce3c60a5.png

    • grindstone

      I’m so sorry. We lost our beloved dog one year ago, May, and it still hurts. You have my kindest thoughts.

    • Pisto75666

      I had to do the same for my cat Shelby almost 2 years ago when she was 18, for the same reason. So sorry for your loss *hugs*

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a848ae1c740ab73756240b7a5c87c9f37eba4b2a184342c9dd02d97c4000a15d.jpg

  • mfp

    so then….kim dotcom is the 400-lb fat guy sitting on his bed hacking everything?…so to speak?

    • Alan

      The original.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Is he in Jersey?

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
    • Suse

      “Video Unavailable” :-(

  • geoffalnutt

    Kimmy is severely lacking in actual ween.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m just gonna take your word on that, thanks.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Here’s an exercise for everyone.

    Think about the most horrific thing you can imagine a president doing.

    Now, think about what your answer would have been a year ago.

    • mancityRed6

      the bar has truly been lowered.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        A lot, really. Not to be a downer, but I had no idea it could get this bad this fast. I hope it’s like a nasty case of the flu, feels a lot worse before it gets better.

        Maybe all this current bullshit is just the fever breaking?

        • mancityRed6

          the ex used to exclaim about all the bullshit laws they rightwingers were trying to pass.
          I tried to tell her it’s all just death throes. they know they’re on the way out, and they know a majority of youth in this country don’t believe the same as them.
          plus, it gets the older people to donate money instead of going on the home shopping network.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That makes sense. The toothless get ruthless, that’s for sure.

          • mancityRed6

            Look at the real players in the game. How old are the Kochs?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Like, 81, 77, 84? Yeah, all old bastards just sounding their own death knell.

          • Natalie

            Long overdue.
            They definitely fall into the “bring happiness by leaving.” group

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Maybe! I agree!

          FOX is perhaps falling over, what with Ailes feeding the worms, Bill O’Reilly out, and Hannity getting scoldings and losing advertisers. When did FOX ever retract a story before? It seems to have lost its formerly unstoppable gravitational pull.

          The wingnuts are losing steam, because they’ve got so little to rage about. Just like gun manufacturers losing sales now that they control everything, because “he’s gonna take ar gunz” lie no longer holds water. When they control everything, there’s not much to blame on Democrats, and they live for blaming others for their problems.

          The outrage high that the wingnuts live for is just not as potent for “Kathy-Whoever” as it was for barking at Black President. Hillary-hate has completely lost its glow.

          Many of them are going to be switching into defensive turtle-mode to escape from having any blame put on them for their role in electing The Bad Mistake Who Shall Not Be Named. I know a former toxic wingnut who now says things like “Yeah I don’t pay any attention to politics.” Orly??

          They erased Bush, and he was just an amateur fuckup derpsack, compared to this spectacular nonstop flaming dumpster shitshow.

          What happens once the Russian shit starts really hitting the fan? I mean there are so many shoeskis waiting to drop, and that’s not even counting the terrible moves this administration is making that are going to hurt the economically anxious really, really hard.

          Nobody has had to pay any real price yet, for electing these monsters. True believers can afford to be true believers right now, but the bills still remain unpaid.

          And that is absolutely completely unsustainable.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I know you’re right about this, and thank you for taking the time to write it. I am predisposed to the worst, darkest possibilities due to a chemical imbalance, but I love being proven wrong about it, as any rational person would.

            I’ve noticed a dramatic shift in social media, which is maybe as good a gauge as anything else and, frankly, the only personal gauge I have at the moment. The chatter is different and there is a renewed groundswell of dissident voices. I have remarked about this here before. I have friends I have known for two decades or more who never took an interest in politics devoting FB posts to the latest stupid, cruel thing the republicans are trying to do now. From net neutrality to pulling out of the Paris accords, more people are in opposition mode because these things finally directly, and negatively, impact their lives. More people are engaged and when more people are engaged, republicans lose bigly. The predominate reason, Russia aside, that we’re even in this mess is because so few voters were engaged enough to vote. This, I think, is what gave the republicans a majority in the house and senate and what, gerrymandering aside, let to the red wave in the first place.

            Republicans are a minority party. They never seem to win by a majority of likely voters even when they get a majority of actual votes. Their policies are wildly unpopular and their highest profile members have all the charisma of the creepy uncle who insists on wearing cut off jeans even though he’s in his fifties. Look at what they’re trying to do right now.

            Yes, I am a progressive Democrat and I will never support conservatism. I simply don’t believe in it. However, in the past I have granted a concession to their philosophy. This is a democracy, after all, and even werewolves deserve representatives. Now, however, it has changed. Republicans are openly shunning their own base, refusing to hold town halls, trying to pass legislation that is less conservative and more like legislative trolling.

            Here’s a short list of their current agenda and how perplexingly stupid it really is:

            Pulling out of a wildly popular accord for, reasons?
            Defunding PP, which a majority of people in this country oppose
            Drastic cuts in government spending that very few even support
            Repealing Frank-Dodd, need I say more about this one.
            The healthcare disaster

            There are more, but these are the top things currently on the agenda. I would mention the tax plan, but there really isn’t one yet, nothing has actually been brought before the house. All we’ve seen is a bullet-pointed wish list of cruelty and grift. I can’t imagine robbing Peter and Paul to pay Caligula will be all that popular either.

            Without exception, when republicans have full control, anything that actually gets done hurts Americans. The roundup here is that people are woke for now, perhaps more than at any other moment in our history. The average republican supporter is only proving themselves to be cultists as this drags on. At the risk of jinxing things, republicans are going to lose badly in 2018 and they seem to know that themselves. Why else would they have poured so much money into the sure-thing campaign in Montana? That was a guaranteed red vote. Ossoff is slightly ahead in the polls, despite the chronically red nature of his district. Republican strongholds are finally at risk and even the RNC knows it. The tide is definitely turning.

    • Rick Hill

      Nor…mm…al….I….have no reference for this.I cannot remember a time when we were not at war with…every fcking body in the world….

    • Duke

      No real change: let carnivorous space aliens feast on our brains.

      Now imagine what this president might actually do:
      Let the Russians take back eastern Europe while taking $100 billion for his complicity.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Emails and fail to have a penis.

  • Poly_Ester

    Kim may be the only person in the world than Sean, Trump administration excluded, of course.

  • alpacapunchbowl
    • DainBramage

      KAC probably told him that Trump was imploding/exploding like a supernova.

    • jowgajen

      I feel the image editor may be taking their personal feelings about KAC out on her husband. It’s a nice suit, he’s a normal looking guy, there just HAD to be a better photo of him ….

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I don’t doubt that. I’m also okay with it. Reuters consistently picks the derpiest photos it can find (they have some real gems for Rexxon Tillerson). It makes me laugh, and these days I’ll take what I can get.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    So I checked in on Facebook to make sure my clients weren’t posting anything stupid, and I noticed something. There are a lot fewer Constitutional law experts posting than there were a year ago. I guess they only constitution when the President is a Democrat.

    • jesterpunk

      Now they are all computer experts and Doctors.

    • TundraGrifter

      Clients posting stupid on Facebook? Or Instagram? Sounds like a iron rice bowl to me.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        There’s no shortage of criminal defendants.

        • TundraGrifter

          I used to work with a CPA who had a brother who was a judge (former cop). His saying was “Why would we bring in somebody who is innocent when are to many guilty motherfuckers out there?”

    • alpacapunchbowl
  • Thiazin Red

    I started Parable of the Sower yesterday, not knowing the details of what its about. It was depressingly appropriate.

  • Christopher Story

    Hi all. Look what I did! I made my very own pico de gallo for the very first tume and I want to show it off. What do you think? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2f00e3f3003ef3ff02cdf5227a9c7dad0430f8af4f0a63ef76db0fecfc77cfdf.jpg

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      looks delish!

      Now go put it on everything, nacho chips, eggs, shit i bet it’s good on toast.

      • Christopher Story

        That’s why I had to make so much. My household loves cooking with it. Sauces, meats, and yes, eggs.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          yup! Good on damn near everything.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Gorgeous! :D

      • Christopher Story

        Aww… Thank you!

    • TundraGrifter

      Fresh cilantro? There’s nothing like it.

      If this warm weather keeps up it will be time for my hand-cut gazpacho. Using a food processor or blender turns it into mush. There are usually bags of tomatoes, etc. on sale at the Saturday Farmers’ Market.

      Yum!

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Oh, that brings back memories … the aunties cutting the gazpacho before heading out to church. Just enough time to have it cool and flavor rich for Sunday dinner …

        • TundraGrifter

          Has to be hand-cut because the texture of each ingredient is so important!

      • Christopher Story

        I do a killer guacomole myself. Fast, fresh, filling. I love how easy it is.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Did you make enough for everybody?

      • Christopher Story

        It took me an hour to make that! But I’ll share as much as I can.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      The Russian judge gives it a 10!

      • Christopher Story

        Well, next to borscht I’m sure it is!

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Next to Stroganoff it is and I love Stroganoff.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Borscht is delicious

          • Christopher Story

            I have no doubt. I’m not a fan of anything beets myself, but I’ll aquiesce to your culinary experience.

    • Bobathonic
    • snark-lurker

      lookx hot

      • Christopher Story

        Just right actually. Enough jalapeño spice to liven the flavor without lingering uncomfortably.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      We’re all communists here, so be prepared to commune that shit, tout de suite!

      • Christopher Story

        Bring the tequila. I’m sure we can find someone else with some chips.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          All I have on me is Kentucky Vodka, not much of a pairing but I’ll share my potato juice like a newly minted millionaire.

    • TootsStansbury

      Looks delish. Omnomnom pico is the food of the Gods.

      • Christopher Story

        Amen and hallelujah!

    • Rick Hill

      Damn! Looks good. You know the first thought it brought to mind? Back in the way back years of mine, went to eat at Picknic n chicken in san Diego. Back then, young Rick was some less than worldly Ohian boy. Liked the spicy bot not like that in your pic. Any rate, went to PnC and ordered chicken churritos or something. Hard rolled shell, chicken and cheese middle smothered in salsa. Instead of going “Yuk!” I ate it(Well, I did pay for it after all) and, Damn! good shist, Maynard!
      Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Fck trump and the wall he wants to build!!

      • Christopher Story

        Amen. Mexican cuisine is the best thing to happen to America.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Yum. Always better when it’s fresh.

    • ryp

      Looks good, now go share it with the Mexicans on the roof.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    A neighbor down the street is having his house re-roofed. The crew is three really friendly young Mexican guys…beater trucks loaded with tools and gear, they’re already all assholes and elbows when I walk by with Molly at 5 a.m.. Probably 115 degrees today on that roof, and they’re still hard at it. What with all the raping and welfare frauding they do, I don’t know where they find the time to work this long. Saddest thing is to see all the economically anxious white people lined up to do this job that these fucking wetbacks stole from them.

    • Rick Hill

      *Looks up from Call of Duty*
      “Nah, Mang. I’m good.”

    • Ducksworthy

      Here in Minnesota, when you see somebody working on a roof your should always say Buenos Dias!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There’s a good reason why about 100% of the roofers in Tucson are Latinos…white people by and large aren’t willing to work that hard.

    • shivaskeeper

      Way back in the far distant year of 1990, while I was at Ft Hood, I got a weekend job cleaning up a lot that used to belong to a fencing company for the new business that owned to property. Hard work in the central TX sun. I subcontracted to some probably illegal Mexicans for help. I busted my ass working and they put me to shame. I did split my pay for the job equally though with they though was shocking.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Good on you. I consider myself a hardened working man as well, and these guys make me look like a coddled candy-ass. I have absolutely no problem with folks hiring these guys as long as they pay them a fair wage.

        • shivaskeeper

          It wasn’t even that they worked harder than I did, which they did, it how fucking efficient they were. I was in awe and learned a bit from them.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They’re all about resourcefulness when it comes to getting shit done. No time to waste!

          • shivaskeeper

            No wasted time, no wasted motion, no wasted energy. It was educational.

        • ariel_gee_398

          The problem is that if they get hurt, in this environment, they’re not likely to take advantage of workers comp, even if they’re legally able to do so. I’m not saying that means don’t hire undocumented workers, just that they are (unsurprisingly) even more subject to exploitation with the orange ass clown toddling through the White House, smearing snot and feces all over our sacred government institutions.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            one more reason for single-payer…there are lots of those now.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I get your point…I mean, talk about people working without a net….social safety type or otherwise. I went 20 years-around extremely dangerous woodworking equipment-being unable to afford health insurance. Aside from a couple of cash trips to urgent care, you get really good a shop-based self-surgery.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Yeah, but workers comp is also about appropriately allocating costs – capitalist bastards get away with paying less than their fair share for labor, etc etc.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I guess I’ve never really thought of it that way…having been self-employed in the secondary economy most of my adult life. I’m shocked to learn that vulture capitalism can involve fraud, grift, and screwing over the workforce.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            “I’m shocked to learn that vulture capitalism can involve fraud, grift, and screwing over the workforce.”

            Unfortunately, I am not shocked. Disappointed, yes.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        When I was a kid, all of us used to go pick strawberries. “You pick like a migrant” was high praise. Honestly.

        • shivaskeeper

          I don’t doubt it.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I spent a few months of basic vagrancy when I was younger, working in the fields of Central California picking strawberries. It was a humbling experience…not only the awe of how hard these people worked, but the warmth, decency, and generosity I found in a group of fellow human being who literally had nothing.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Up here, all the kids used to go pick. Including the football players and cheerleaders. The season is so short, and all.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I was working among migrants for whom this was a way of life. They tended to make the most of the moment, of community with others around them, even though-or perhaps because- given the unpredictable nature of migrant life, many of whom they would never see again.

    • Red Bird Ω

      My neighbor got a new roof too. Same thing. Lots of people begging to do the work.

  • TundraGrifter

    I am a big fan of the novelist Alan Fuchs. I just started reading the first of Philip Kerr’s “Berlin noir” novels – “March Violets.” It is very, very good!

    • Ducksworthy

      Good choices. Timely too, I’m afraid.

  • Rick Hill

    So, I think this is a genuine rationalization…after my close encounter with the shallow pool end of the law(Seriously who scopes out a normally acting individual who appears quite normal) I stopped by to get some printer ink. I was looking at some tech stuf and stopped at the keyboards. I have just been noticing that the wireless one that came with my PC had been sticking or not catching letters I type. I had thought it just me but I think it was actually that smarmy ass keyboard…*glares at old keyboard*. The last straw came when I noticed it wouldn’t capitalize when I KNEW I had hit it right, ie wH, It also seemed pretty suspicious how many time the second letter of a word would also be capitalized. A conspiracy? The soft AI takeover? Idk. Any rate. My rationalization is that a new keyboard would be worth the time I waste on editing and proofreading for mistakes.

    Wait…now I can’t blame my errors on my keyboard. SHit

    • snark-lurker

      eRorrS? wwwhatt erOOrs/

    • Alan

      Mine does that, I vacuum it. Carefully.

      • Rick Hill

        The action was always good but, unlike the new, sleek one, it was old fashioned key size. Meybe I wasn’t depressing it enough. Also, I’m not an office type or college edumicated so it’s not like I ever think about this kind of stuffs.

  • What Pierre said
  • Thiazin Red

    I do not understand people who are dicks to secretaries. First, you should generally try to avoid being a dick to people. But, its also idiotic from a purely selfish point of view. Having admins like you makes your job immensely easier. If they don’t like you they can make your job harder in ways you don’t even know about till them happen.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Admins rule the world. Seriously. You do not want to have to watch your back if it matters.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        That was the first rule my first manager ever taught me. Do NOT piss off the admins. Still true today.

    • shivaskeeper

      Old piece of Army advice: never fuck with the cooks or the clerks.

      • mancityRed6

        in my line of work, it’s “don’t piss off maintenance or inspection”
        told to me 21 years ago and never forgotten.

    • mancityRed6

      if you want access, beware the gatekeeper

    • jesterpunk

      Because they see the secretaries as beneath them.Its all about perceived power for some people and they cant feel good about themselves unless there is someone beneath them.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Truer words. I’ve worked for lawyers who have agendas like “I’m a short man so I am pissed as hell” and “I am a very unattractive female so I am pissed as hell” and guess what? They were so focused on putting me in my place they never noticed that their work always got done last and not as well as the work I did for the people who were respectful.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’m in retail now. And we are all ready to help folks who are polite. The rude one? Not so much.

          • jesterpunk

            I worked in convenience stores and fast food restaurants when I was younger, there where so many rude customers who tried to act like they where better then us.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          In fairness, I am an unattractive female and also too pissed as hell, and having been many flavors of minion in the past I try really hard not to treat people in service positions badly.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          My first job out of college was a program assistant in the Continuing Legal Education office of a law school, so I occasionally had to interact over the phone with attorneys who were either attending or sponsoring/advising the programs. When people wanted to be assholes, calls would suddenly get dropped or they’d get put on hold indefinitely or I’d mysteriously always be on another line when their name showed up on the caller ID.

      • Swampgas_Man

        In retail, I’ve had several “bosses” who honestly believed if they weren’t making an underling miserable, they weren’t doing their job.

      • Natalie

        Sadly, that is true, with a certain type of person the more powerless they are, the more apt they are to dump on someone they perceive as an underling.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Also true for the CIA and FBI. Don’t fuck with them.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I don’t get that. At all. And in kitchens, the most important people on any given shift are the dishwashers.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Same with janitorial staff. If it wasn’t for them people wouldn’t even be able to get to their desks after two weeks.

    • Yr. Gma

      The words “secret” and “secretary” are related. The secretary is, essentially, “the keeper of the secrets.” Stupid to forget that.

    • DainBramage

      You can take a person’s measure by seeing how they treat their underlings.

      • Dazza

        It’s also a good metric when assessing date-ability.

    • shivaskeeper

      They never learned respect is a two way thing and HAS to start from the one that had more power. Respect flows like electricity, from greater potential to lesser.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Back in April of this year, The Blaze (all the news that fits in the anus of a bat) published the following photo of a painting depicting a beheaded Trump. The painting was on display at the U of Alaska done by an asst. prof. I can recall now the national outrage and immediate firings of all involved./ http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/04/20/university-of-alaska-is-displaying-a-painting-of-a-decapitated-trump-in-its-gallery/ I can understand why Kathy apologized but I kinda wish she hadn’t. And Jim Carrey has come to her defense. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/06/01/jim-carrey-defends-kathy-griffin-over-donald-trump-stunt/102382610/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5605aae536c930335a564363b6c2d98e8d8c270aa325fb385b964cb7f1dc2e7a.png I’m guessing having a naked Chris Evans probably made it all ok.

    • mancityRed6

      well, duh, have you seen that guy?
      I’m not gay, but…

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        xD I knew a straight guy had a T-shirt that said “Everyone is Gay for Chris Evans”.

        • mancityRed6

          cuddling isn’t gay, it’s the eating popcorn out of his navel and I draw a line somewhere.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            xD

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            “A snake bit him, and I had to suck out the poison!”

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Everyone is also gay for Chris Hemsworth. . . or is that just me?

          Seriously though, nobody is THAT straight.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            As Thor, ok. But srsly, Justin Trudeau.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Men are prettier than they used to be. It just seems that way to me.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s the way they’re accepted that has changed, remember, Tom Selleck was the man back in the day. Now, you’re goal is to find me some one as attractive with a mustache.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            There isn’t one. The Tom Selleck ‘stache is the god of all ‘stache’s. Thou shalt have no ‘stache before thee. I often wonder what his grooming regimen is, but suspect that’s a trade secret.

            I think you’re onto something about the way men are accepted now. As a man, I’m feeling more accepted than ever before. The toxic masculinity that permeated my life before is on the outs and it’s more socially acceptable for men now to have to constantly flex their muscles and try to beat the shit out of other men. Hell, even using “gay” as a general slur is pretty much frowned upon these days.

            We’re allowed to be more expressive, to speak out more, to be funnier, kinder, more feminine. More feminine is not a bad thing, mind you. To me, more feminine means kindness, softness, respectful, open to ideas. Of course, there is nothing at all wrong with masculinity either. I am masculine. I am not toxic or fake about it. I have nothing to prove with that. I think hypermasculinity, much like hyper anything else, is a disaster.

            I joke a lot, but I’m not gay at all. I’m a boring, cisgendered married guy who really wouldn’t even consider anyone else, male, female or other, anymore. My wife is it for me. I’m pretty sure that even if the worst happened and the marriage collapsed or she died, i would never remarry and would be totally fine never dating or even having sex again. That’s not defeatist, that causes me no discomfort at all.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Queer Eye worked for me.

          • Natalie

            No doubt and his wife is a hottie too.

          • Natalie

            My favorite Prime Minister.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Not too humblebrag, but Chris Evans AND Chris Hemsworth are gay for me. Seriously though, they don’t do much for me, but Mrs. Major gets a free pass.

          • mancityRed6

            ahem, *bullshit*
            sorry, had a cough there

          • Major_Major_Major

            Whoa, there. I’m like an out of shape Jason Statham, with none of the looks and half the charm. Thank you very Mich.

          • mancityRed6

            you are someone’s reason to masturbate. just saying.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            xD Ima Bi, my last Girlfriend was Lesbian, but she used to say “Anna, ain’t nobody needs to be a Gold Star Lesbian. Let’s go talk to those guys.”

          • Dazza

            I’m totally gay for Rachel Maddow and Gal Gadot – so yeah – “Not completely straight” is my working life motto.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            :D This is why it is Awesome to be Bisexual.

          • Dazza

            True.

          • Natalie

            Doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            xD

          • Natalie

            I consider it the best of both worlds.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I agree, It’s a blessing.

          • Natalie

            I often feel blessed ;)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            xD

          • Natalie

            I like heteroflexible as a term.

          • Dazza

            Yes, it is – but as this is a long weekend in my part of Oz, I don’t think I am sober enough at this point to type it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I would definitely change teams for Rachel.

          • Dazza

            Why not both? Rachel AND Justin?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, Justin wouldn’t involve team-jumping. I’m a mostly straight cis-woman.

          • Dazza

            I meant at the same time *eyebrow waggle*

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I think everybody does what they’ve got to do, Anna. We’re all just trying to figure out ourselves and learning how to be that once we do. One of my best friends described herself like this “I like men, just right now I’m really into women. Of course, I’m just as open to the right man coming along. The operative word is ‘right’ and you never know where love will come from.”

            She got married to the woman she’d loved since college just last year. It’s really, I think, just about being happy and feeling good. If it feels good with the usual caveats of consenting adults, then do it. That’s an old but true statement about sexuality.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I like that, Jack. :) I go by attraction & chemistry myself. I meet more males that find me attractive, but honestly if I have chemistry with a woman, forget anyone else even exists.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I like what you said too. To the best of my knowledge, it’s just sorcery really. I have no idea why I am still so attracted to my wife, aside from the obvious. all evidence suggests it should have faded a bit. I don’t really think too much about it. It just is. It being makes me happy, so why question it? Y’know?

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Chemistry and compatibility are wonderous things. :)

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            As Freddy Mercury sang “It’s a kind of magic”.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            :D

      • Swampgas_Man

        No one’s gay for Moleman.

        • mancityRed6

          I said this the other night and I’ll say it again, I’ve been married twice. There is someone out there who is very turned on by molemen, they just need to find each other.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Doesn’t having a naked Chris Evans make most anything ok? He does hate him some Nazis irl, so he’s got the moral high ground going for him too.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I wish she had asked people to explain why they even spend time giving a fuck what celebrities are doing when our government is passing laws that will actually kill people.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      speaking of which, apparently Kathy Griffin gave a press conference today, saying trump was trying to ruin her life…I’m on the fence about it, but here it is:
      http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/02/entertainment/kathy-griffin-trump/index.html

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        ugh, she cried and said Trump broke her. I don’t think she deserves that shit, but I still wish she didn’t give the Trump-loving assholes what they want.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Between the naked Chris Evans and the Monty Python animation styling, it has a lot going for it.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I wonder if this guy’s got any closure about his brother, Pets.

  • La forza del resistino

    Would America Firsters be so inclined to pull out of the Paris accords, if the convention was named the Chattanooga accords.

    • NellCote71

      Branson.

      • La forza del resistino

        Gotcha. Only the best chenille Elvis portraits are found there.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i can’t believe there’s not a friday evening news dump thing, given Trump & Co’s proclivity for shenanigans

    Harrumph.

    • Suse

      It’s only 5:00 pm here.

    • mancityRed6

      patience, patience

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Give them time.

    • vivian

      …letting the Paris Disgrace sink in, methinks. Want to be sure each news dump gets the attention it rightly deserves.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        well, to be fair, there’s the new news about the probe widening and Jared’s “faulty memory” about his meetings with russians AND the thing about trying to silence Comey, so I guess it’s still a good day.

  • Suse

    Trump Still Hasn’t Decided Whether To ‘Let’ Comey Testify, Conway Says

    • jesterpunk

      Didnt he try and pull that shit with Badass Sally Yates?

    • Suse

      Chris Hayes has this as his top story.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ugh….fucking KAC.

      • Suse

        She’s baaack!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      How is that even Trump’s decision?

      • Suse

        Executive privilege claim.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, that’s just…..rediculous.

          • Suse

            Everything is ridiculous with this crew.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No fucking shit.

        • mancityRed6

          there are ways around that

        • YoBunnyBunny

          This administration has a cockeyed understanding of “executive privilege”.

          • TootsStansbury

            They have a cockeyed understanding of every goddamn thing.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        something something executive privilege something.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      If it wasn’t for a Republican Congress, this shit would’ve been over 6 weeks ago.

    • mancityRed6

      conway is so full of excrement her eyes are brown

  • DainBramage
    • mancityRed6

      pleeease?
      fuck, I’ll track down the little keebler elf himself if I have to.

    • shivaskeeper

      And Asst Attorney General Rosenstein. The initial focus will be on Comey’s firing. I’m sure it will spread from there for Sessions at least.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Is this the trickle down we were promised?

    • TootsStansbury

      It’s horrible. I’m starting to think they’re fucking with us. Where’s my goddamn silver hat?

    • Rick Hill

      Stay tuned as, next week, we cue you in to the latest trump administration offical to be included in the investigation. Not giving it away because it would kill the susPence….

      • mancityRed6

        this is what I’m frightened of. that the page clicks bullshit will take precedence and nothing comes out until they reach a certain goal.

        • Rick Hill

          That’s the thing. This has to run on longer. Not just to ensure convictions but to sink trumpism. If it’s not totally tied to the ruination and almost causing the collapse of America, then, it will never die. It will be an endless litany of “trump would have saved everything but the liberal press and blah and blah and blah wouldn’t let it succeed because their Jewish masters…..”

          • mancityRed6

            actually, yes. the same press that jumped all over Clinton were silent when the president of France had his funeral and his wife and mistress were in the front rows.
            this started then.

          • georgiaburning

            Exactly so. Argentina never got over Peron’s corporatist/populist cult, even now there’s an FN in France that looks kindly on the Vichy regime. You won’t win all of them, however. Over here there are still people, most of them too young to remember the 1970’s, claiming that the Vietnam war could have been won if it were not for liberals.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, not win them over but make it so socially unacceptable that only crannks spout their crap

          • Eileen Besse

            Eff them. READ A GODDAMNED BOOK.

          • georgiaburning

            To Bear Any Burden by Al Santoli is a good start. Oral history interviews with Americans, Vietnamese, soldiers, politicians, teachers, etc.

    • Anna Rompage

      Seeing that Mueller was on great terms with Comey, I’m guessing he’s quite motivated to not leave any stone unturned…

    • Rasilom

      Me thinks me needs more popcorn and vodka.

    • Al Swearengen

      Which is exactly why Comey didn’t notify the DOJ about Trump’s attempt to obstruct.

  • Suse

    Kushner and Ivanka Trump ‘care what beautiful people think’ and see Bannon as ‘a man with dirty fingernails’

    • mancityRed6

      this is a new civil war

      • Suse

        I think I know who will claim victory.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Neither of them, Katie?

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah but…he is.

      • mancityRed6

        ever see his hot tub? sheesh, what a filthy beast.

      • Suse

        And facial pustules!

        • Rick Hill

          Thingis, he doesn’t do any work that would make his nails dirty.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ummm… that’s not dirt.

      • Suse

        Rat turds?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      In his defense, some of his victims probably had terrible hygiene.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    https://twitter.com/politico/status/870699227596283905

    Poor Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette would be heartbroken if he saw what was happening right now in the 21st century…

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Trump confirms he is exactly as stupid as you thought he was. Again.”

      • Eileen Besse

        Can I multiply UPFIST?

    • He should rap about it

      • ariel_gee_398

        Is Daveed Diggs busy? Can he go lead a protest across the street?

        • Lyly Sirivong

          That would be awesome.

    • Suse

      Oh, the irony! 10 bucks says Drumpf has never heard of Layfayette, but “he’s doing terrific things and more and more people are talking about him.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Lafayette Square has been renamed Ligonier Square.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Really? Talk about erasing history. :(

    • WomanInThePersistence

      FFS. Really.

    • Persistent Demme

      Oh, noes!!
      Sounds like Widdle man-baby Donny needs some cheering up, and the campaign(!?) staff thought this might do the trick!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      these guys are LOVING the pittsburgh, not paris line. Pence mentioned it in an interview on Fox today.

      They think it’s the HEIGHT of wit.

      • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

        For these twerps, it is.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      This should work out well. The environmentalists are already there; how many yokels will be able to get there from Bumfuck, OK by tomorrow?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Is this their (very sad) response for the Truth rally tomorrow? Why the fuck would they do that. It’s not like there are a lot of hard core Trumpinistas who are into “rallying” in the DC/NOVA/MD area. And we all know that none of his fanboys are driving in to libtard DC on short notice on a weekend.

      Methinks they’re trying to start shit either with the Truth protesters who will be in DC; or if it’s a colossal failure how the liberals scared away their supporters or the librul fake media didn’t give them enough coverage and Trump’s crowd was really bigger, it was just really earl when we took those photos, okay?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The American GOP:
    From Neo-cons to Neo-coms in eight short years.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      It’s all the Neo-cum that’s splooging America that worries me.

    • mancityRed6

      remember when they hated Russia? Peppperidge farm….yeah, whatevs.

      • Yr. Gma

        “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”

  • Red Bird Ω

    Is Rachel coming back tonight? The guy they have filling in for her doesn’t have the same style that I like about Rachel.

    • @MrsRazor66

      I sure hope so… guess we’ll find out in 45 minutes.

      • Red Bird Ω

        I’m really worried especially with the way Donnie and company like their authoritarianism.

        • Yr. Gma

          I think if it were something nefarious, word would have leaked.

          • snark-lurker

            Why would you think so? What’s ailing her has not leaked out

          • Yr. Gma

            I think that because everything everywhere leaks out.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            The last night she was on, she looked terrible, and said she was home sick, but came on because it was the night Jared was caught in his meeting lie. I think last Friday.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’m kinda doubting she’ll drag herself in for a Friday night. I hope so, but doubt it. Best rest up for Monday at this point

    • Suse

      She was pretty sick, according to Lawrence.

      • Red Bird Ω

        :( Polonium???? Hengh?

        • Suse

          I wouldn’t rule it out.

        • La forza del resistino

          Not to say FoxNews was cool with losing the top ratings numbers to her before reaching out to their Moscow bureau office.

        • snark-lurker

          That is so awful to even suggest but, in these times, it is just too damn plausible for snark.

          • Red Bird Ω

            I agree that it is awful to think about. But, yeah, anything is possible now.

  • La forza del resistino

    When it comes to climate change, some people believe in folks with advanced graduate degrees while others believe in a rodent named Punxsutawney Phil

  • Suttree

    I just woke up and used the bathroom, went to the kitchen for a glass of water, and made it back to the computer before I even realized my complaints last night. Maybe if I use Obama’s time machine, I will never move again. My back feels perfect right this second.

    • jaspersdad

      How’s physio?

      • Suttree

        I didn’t make it yesterday. I was in too much pain. The terrible back spasms started about an hour after I should have been there.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Been there, done that, bought the heating pad.

          • Suttree

            Oh For Fuck Sake! It isn’t tomorrow yet! This is dusk, not dawn! It’s 8pm not 8am! Nevermind, I am going back to the shitty mood that I had previously. Where is my booze!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I don’t know. But please take care of yourself. Don’t make me get all naggy.

          • Suttree

            Airmail me some cheese and a kitten! All will be well. Seriously though, I just slept so well for a few hours, I swore it was morning. I was wondering what everyone why is everyone still in this thread? hehe, I am awake now and eating a bowl of fresh fruit.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Be sure to take internally! It ain’t worth fuck-all externally.

    • La forza del resistino

      Admit that you stole this post from Kerouac.

      • Suttree

        Fuck Kerouac, I have read his treacle before! Even I have never been that drunk. And that;s saying something. Jackoff hack.

        • La forza del resistino

          Burroughs and Ginsberg share your sentiment only in private

        • mancityRed6

          Bukowski libels!