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AYO, CHICAGO AND DETROIT, tell Alexa to cancel all your meetings and make you a “calendar” with only Wonkette on it. Because we are coming to YOU, Chicago, on Wed., June 7, and YOU, Detroit, on Fri., June 9. Whatever shall we do? Wherever shall we go?

We shall do PIC-A-NICS and we shall go TO THE BEACH!

Chicago! We will be at Margaret Burroughs Beach Park, 3100 S. Lake Shore Dr., Chicago 60616. Wed., June 7, at SIX PM. (We are often a little early, if you are too!)

What you should bring: a blanket or camping chair; a snack to share; maybe your favorite sausages; something vegetarian if you are vegetarian. Beer is “not” allowed at this beach! Make of that what you will. Do not bring Chicago style pizza, as it is an abomination and you will be EJECTED like a common reporter at Gianforte HQ.

Detroit! We will see you at Belle Isle Park, Fri., June 9, SIX PM, in the open land across the road from the Giant Slide, because the nice lady on the phone says that is a good place to meet. Look, I downloaded you a map!

Belle_isle_map

If you are driving, you gotta pay $10; if you are taking the bus like a hippie, it is FREE! What to bring? The same thing as the Chicago people are bringing, except in place of “sausage” maybe bring us SHAWARMA! Or rose-water sweets! In fact, really, just bring every possible Middle Eastern dish, and be our best friend FOR EVER. Also, bring a sweater. You know how you get chilly.

Are you on the way from Montana to Chicago, like perhaps in Minot, North Dakota, or Fargo, or “Minnesota”? Email us at rebecca at wonkette dot com, for hugs and friendship!

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  • armed_bears

    Silver City, New Mexico, just sittin’ here patiently waiting our turn.

    • Serai 1

      Southern CA, here. No money to travel, so I just have to wait for Editrix to get a hankering for movie star sightings.

      • marxalot

        Las Vegas, a hop skip and pothole away.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’m just sitting here at this crappy beach waiting for a little hug.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ah, silver lake was so beautiful when my family went years ago…

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    I live a mile from Bolsa Chica State Beach and there is a nice parking area for the Wonkebago, beachfront, with lots of room and nice fire pits. Wondering when you guys are going to meander down this way…?

    • mancityRed6

      I missed the chance in Lawrence about 4 years ago…it’ll probably be nearly forever ’til they come back this way.

      • FlownΩver

        I was there, but LFK patiently awaits DrinkyThing – the Re-drinkening.

        • mancityRed6

          maybe if we hold our breath until we turn blue?
          ok, 1..2…3

          *passes out*

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bolsa Chica = Chick Bag?
      Please use in a sentence.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Bolsa Chicka Wow Wow! (Does that count?)

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      I’m about a half hour away. That would be great.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      You can pick up some ammo at the military thingie over there where we don’t know what the hell is in those fields? Idk. My dad used to buy mushroom compost out there somewhere.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        Seal Beach Naval Weapons Station… Yep, I see that place every time we go to the Target in Seal Beach.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          That’s the place.

    • rebecca

      we’ll take it. count on us in Oct.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        Yay!

  • mancityRed6

    I’m just gonna forget that comment about Chicago style pizza even happened.
    Just like there’s only 3 Indiana Jones movies.

    • Crank Tango

      I had no idea there were any after Raiders.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, I was about to say…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        They were never the same after John Madden Mark Lindsay retired.

        • FlownΩver

          “Fang” Volk LIBELZ!1!!!1!

      • mancityRed6

        the grail one is about as low as I let them scrape in that particular barrel
        although the exorcist seemed to skip #2 and go straight to #3…funny, that.

      • Teto85

        Action figures, toys, hats, whips have to be sold.

  • Joe Beese
    • ariel_gee_398

      If only Trump had known about that yesterday, it surely would have changed his mind on Paris.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Assumes mind not in evidence.

      • FlownΩver

        Trump only knew about Larsen E.

    • ichthyopteryx

      “Meanwhile, giant crack in Trump’s face keeps on producing words.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Is this the open thread? Or do I have to wait even more impatiently?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      *pictures Cally standing there, tapping her foot*
      Sorry, I just find that amusing. Don’t mind me.

    • jaspersdad

      I know, I’m waiting for the snark to commence on trump withdrawing from the Paris Accord.

      Fuck it. He just cemented his legacy as the worst president in history.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Some non-commenting commenters may have already started in on this in the previous post….

      • BadKitty904

        “just”?

      • Actually that would be WIlliam Henry Harrison – did absolutely nothing in the 32 days he was in.

        • Crank Tango

          Yeah but what did he fuck up in those 32 days?

          • His lungs??

          • Crank Tango

            Still better than Chump!

        • Thiazin Red

          Doing bad things is worse than doing nothing.

      • Suttree

        And he ain’t quite done yet. i await when he is pining for the fjords.

      • puredog

        Oh, that’s old news. He just added another coat.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        The cement was already there. This adds rebar.

      • FlownΩver

        And it’s still spring training!

    • Suttree

      I yield the rest of my time in this thread to Callyson. The ranking member.I used to remember you and Lizzietish being the most popular. Apparently Lizzie has done her job by making me more popular, and she’s over it now. Butt rubs have made her less snarkalicious.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Gonna get some sausage up in those buns!

  • Spurning Beer

    Ooh, the Windy Apple!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Should we start sending money for the Wonkebago repair now or wait for the oily, cracked metal details?

  • Crystalclear12

    Hello, I am is southwest Missouri so I don’t expect a visit but if you could contribute to my escape fund that would be lovely.

    • Suttree

      You just need to run real fast and then hide on the roof until they make a stop. Then Donna Rose will want you as a pet.

    • DrBigHead

      Please say its not Springfield

      • Crystalclear12

        Joplin area.
        Deepest, darkest Dumbfuckistan.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          Yeah, but the ragtime is great!

        • DrBigHead

          Spent three years in Columbia in the early 80’s. Had the advantage of being relatively progressive and approximately equidistant from great baseball (St. Louis) and the best BBQ on the planet (KC. and no, I am not willing to argue that). Pretty scary outside the city limits however.

  • Jamespuck

    Wish I could be there, but on the East Coast of Gilead. But would bring my favorite American Middle east fusion, Buffalo Falafel.

    • FlownΩver

      “Buffalo Falafel” is the name of the new Stephen Stills – Neil Young – Bill O’Reilly supergroup. Nobody knows how they made it through the first rehearsal.

      • Jamespuck

        Lots of Weed, booze,and loofah. Just like a weekend with the editrix and shypixel.

  • Internet Hitler

    How dare you skip a clear shot at a dick joke.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Have one of C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s finest for me.

  • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

    Let us know your ETA for Minneapolis. June 6 is Taco Cat Tuesday at the Bar Lunchador! http://www.barluchador.com/ We can also recommend other places!

    Also, bring any napalm you got. We have “art” that needs to be destroyed with votes of fire. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/30/arts/design/walker-art-center-sculpture-garden-dakota.html?_r=0

    • rebecca

      if babies are allowed at the Bar Luchador, we are in!

      • kindness

        Draw a pencil mustache on her and call her Senor. Oh….wait….we don’t want ICE anywhere near a Wonkette fandango.

  • Suttree

    You lucky Michigan/Illinois peoples! Show up! There is a high probability that you may meet your soulmate. Or at least someone interesting to have sex with. Good luck!

  • BadKitty904
  • anon_the_great

    Deep Dish pizza Libelz

    • kindness

      It’s a great casserole. It isn’t a pizza. Sorry but born NYer here with my prejudices still there.

  • Yr. Gma

    Donna Rose is getting the best education being the little traveler she is. (I’m still sitting here waiting for the Los Angeles drink thingy.)

    • rebecca

      block out “October” for us :)

      wait, aren’t you up by Fresno way?

      • Yr. Gma

        I’m blocking it out as we speak. Nope, San Bernardino County, the road to Lake Arrowhead. I know there are a couple of Wonkers around Fresno, though.

      • Crank Tango

        Don’t forget to come by us in Shasta county on the way!

        • kindness

          I have one of those Enjoy Weed tie dye shirts from your fine county. (for those that don’t know the double entendre, Weed is a town in Shasta)

  • Joe Beese
    • ariel_gee_398

      Billionaire lending legitimacy to face-eating leopard shocked to discover leopard is disinterested in his opinions and intends to eat faces anyway.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Listen, Elon, you idiot, you never should have been on the fucking councils in the first place. So you get no “attaboy”s for this.

  • anwisok

    If Rebecca wants a sausage party, she can come to my place when we’re skinnydipping. I guess.

  • not_vh

    trump figured there is no immediate consequence to going laissez faire on climate. if anything only domestic victories with his own base. so fuck it.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      And a nice deflection from the Russia thing.

    • FlownΩver

      You make it sound like a deliberated decision. My money’s on “Fuck it. This will make me look like a big shot, and who likes all those smart guys anymore way?”

  • I’m in Western Iowa taking care of sick mama but am up for an impromptu protest in front of Steve King (R-Ukiddingme)’s office in Sioux City.

    I can be there in an hour.

  • Joe Beese
    • DainBramage

      His followers are fine with their world being wrecked, so long as it makes liberals mad.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    https://twitter.com/W7VOA/status/870367036085612546

    Vox:
    The thing about this is there is, literally, no tax bill.

    No tax bill has been introduced to the US House of Representatives.
    No tax bill has been introduced to the US Senate.
    The White House has not released a tax plan that is detailed enough for experts to assess its economic or fiscal impact.

    • Yr. Gma

      It’s almost as if he’s ignorant and just says stuff.

      • BadKitty904

        Covfefe!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain. Fitting, considering he has an anuslike mouth.

    • mackafritz

      He has no clue what’s going on anywhere. He really is an ignoramus.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I’m not saying he is a fucking liar, but….yes I am.

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      I’m still not sure he or anyone in his cabinet or advisers understands how a bill becomes law.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Nothing they’ve done indicates that they do.

      • Crank Tango
      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        I’m sure we can get them a copy of that “Schoolhouse Rock” thingie.

    • Crank Tango

      It’s not a fantastical lie when the President says it.

      • FlownΩver

        In this case it’s just Thursday.

    • Canis the Grey

      Maybe he’s referring to the massive tax cut for billionaires disguised as a healthcare reform bill, and just forgot they’re not supposed to admit that’s what it is right in the middle of a press covfefe.

    • BadKitty904

      The President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant,” Spicer will say.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Total detachment from reality. He lives in an alternative reality.
      “A neurotic builds castles in the air. A psychotic moves in.”

    • Persistent Demme

      We are watching you, dickface!
      And we can multi-task!

  • BadKitty904
  • Bill D. Burger

    Not a big Donny Deutsch fan, but I loved his description of Trumpexit’ from the Paris Accord.
    Deutsch: “What we saw was an ignorant and destructive little man. His foolishness and lack of any vision for our country’s welfare is stunning. He is growing more dangerous by the day. I fear for our country for we not only have no real leader, but the man in the highest position in our country is a dangerous lunatic.”

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      And not just in the highest positions. It’s dangerous lunatics all the way down.

      • pstockholm

        It’s a derp bench.

  • Persistent Demme

    Leave it to Wonkette to provide some perspective.
    It’s much more pleasant to think about a Pic-a-nic thing, (that I can’t even attend, dammit!), and our beloved DR, than the further destruction of this country.

    (Btw: Trump thinks this will distract us, but he’s wrong, (and he’s underestimating us).
    Unlike his idiot supporters, we can multi-task.)

  • Gotta agree…

    “Chicago style” is just a Casserole masquerading as a pizza.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e80310dff0f140b193f916cb4e1eea26238f7258b5ba1f3f6175277e25668601.png

    • DainBramage

      I like my pizza like I like my pineapple. In my mouth.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      It’s the Cincinnati-style chili of pizzas. By definition, it’s not what the name means at all.

    • phoenix00

      Eh, usually I just slice the pie twice then start jamming it into my mouth because HUNGRIES.

    • SeeTrain65

      Must credit Yogi Berra.

  • Joe Beese

    Donald Trump has officially made the US… into a global environmental pariah.

    And by the way, the media didn’t ask even one climate change question during all those debates.

    http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2017/06/he-did-it-one-step-closer-to-trumps.html

  • btwbfdimho
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    ICYMI Here is video (19s) of Trump’s announcement on climate change…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g77WN6obk4

  • whitroth

    Is youse headed east? Passing DC?

  • Bill D. Burger

    No such thing as climate change. Nothing to see…Nosiree’!

    Just noticed this:
    [ 6/1/2017:
    USA TDODAY:
    A 110-mile crack in the Larsen C ice shelf on the Antarctic Peninsula is expected to completely break off soon. If it does, it could potentially lead to a rise in sea levels. USA TODAY NETWORK

    A massive crack in an Antarctic ice shelf grew by 11 miles in the past six days as one of the world’s biggest icebergs ever is poised to break off.

    Only eight miles remain until the crack in the Larsen C ice shelf cuts all the way across, producing an iceberg about the size of the state of Delaware.

    Adrian Luckman of Project MIDAS, a British Antarctic research project that’s keeping watch on the ever-growing crack, said it’s the largest jump since January. The full process is known as “calving,” the timing of which is “very close,” he added.

    Once the iceberg breaks off, it “will fundamentally change the landscape of the Antarctic Peninsula,” he said.]

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/sciencefair/2017/06/01/massive-iceberg-break-off-antarctica-crack-expands-11-miles/102385980/

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      I feel bad for Mar-a-lago. Not

    • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

      Oh FFS, USA Today, bone up on your physics. Ice that is already on the water does not raise sea levels when it melts. Does your water glass overflow when the ice melts?
      Huh-WAY more concerned with ice covering land melting. Get it straight, McPaper!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Little Babby Donnie doesn’t know anything EXCEPT whatever Obama did must be undone or his penis will get even smaller.

      • Suttree

        Microscopes and tweezers are neither cheap nor easy to utilize.

    • BadKitty904

      Withdrawing from the Paris Agreement will guarantee the Republican Party MILLIONS in oil/coal/manufacturing donations.

  • Bill D. Burger

    And now we hear from a real American President and a true leader:

    [Obama Coolly Returns And Annihilates Trump For Leaving Paris Climate Agreement
    By Jason Easley on Thu, Jun 1st, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    President Obama released a statement after Trump withdrew the US from the Paris climate agreement that showed America what real vision and leadership look like.

    President Obama: “A year and a half ago, the world came together in Paris around the first-ever global agreement to set the world on a low-carbon course and protect the world we leave to our children.

    It was steady, principled American leadership on the world stage that made that achievement possible. It was bold American ambition that encouraged dozens of other nations to set their sights higher as well. And what made that leadership and ambition possible was America’s private innovation and public investment in growing industries like wind and solar – industries that created some of the fastest new streams of good-paying jobs in recent years, and contributed to the longest streak of job creation in our history.

    Simply put, the private sector already chose a low-carbon future. And for the nations that committed themselves to that future, the Paris Agreement opened the floodgates for businesses, scientists, and engineers to unleash high-tech, low-carbon investment and innovation on an unprecedented scale.

    The nations that remain in the Paris Agreement will be the nations that reap the benefits in jobs and industries created. I believe the United States of America should be at the front of the pack. But even in the absence of American leadership; even as this Administration joins a small handful of nations that reject the future; I’m confident that our states, cities, and businesses will step up and do even more to lead the way, and help protect for future generations the one planet we’ve got.”]

    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/06/01/cool-obama-returned-annihilated-trump-leaving-paris-climate-accord.html

    • phoenix00

      Is it wrong that I read that in Martin Luther King’s voice?

    • Alan

      Pffft. Why would anyone want an intelligent, thoughtful, articulate person as president?

  • proudgrampa

    My kind of town —

    https://youtu.be/2N9SPvtZ6pE

  • Bill D. Burger
    • ltmcdies
      • Bill D. Burger

        I heard Putin’s Puppet say we would try to negotiate a better deal. THAT alone demonstrates what a fucking ignorant fool he is. The Paris Accord was worked out over years. There will be no NEW deal and that fool has set this country on a course to take a backseat to the rest of the world as the energy innovator and leader in the study of climate that it should be.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        I really don’t think Trump knows anything about negotiation. Like at all.

        If you pull out of a contract, you’ve just removed any leverage you had over the agreement. They might do things to keep you in, but if you’ve already left, the damage is done. They’re not going to break their asses to get you back, it’d just incentivize others doing the same.

    • Stulexington

      *gasps* he used the D word! You’re in trouble now mister.

      • AJ Milne

        It _is_ worrisome. Translated from the Canadian, that, roughly, is ‘fuck that guy’…

        (‘We are concerned’, of course, translates to ‘and the golf cart he rode in on’.)

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Shanzgood

      You make me smile!

  • ltmcdies

    at times like these it’s important for us furriners who come to Wonkette pissed off yet again with the utter stupidity of Donald Trump and the incarnation of the GOP that there are damn fine Americans bucking this shit…

    https://twitter.com/MayorOfLA/status/870379295608233984

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Suttree

    So the real question is, when are you coming back to New York City Rebecca?! Lizzie and I will be together for 16 months coming up pretty soon. That alone deserves an east coast stop.

    • smr

      congrats!

      • Suttree

        Hehe! Thank you! We are gross.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ohhhh….ohhh….BOOM goes the dynamite!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBQ9u74UwAAFL9A.jpg

    • Suttree

      Also too, eat a bag of lightly salted rat dicks.
      -Human beings everywhere

      • Bill D. Burger

        Maybe “heavily salted”____ Let’s get his blood pressure up as high as possible. ;)

      • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

        And don’t forget the wombat jizz sauce!

        • Sakonyachen

          As if wombat jizz sauce was not delicious!?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Where mah Chicago peeps at! I would love to meet some fellow wonkers in meatspace!

    • Shanzgood

      Meatspace. Heh.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ~snort!~ “Much truth is said in jest.”

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/870375663852826626

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Well at least the “Ark Park” is failing and so it shouldn’t be spreading its anti Science lies to our kids for two much longer, and in the meantime, it sounds like that Ken Ham is not only in denial about evolution, he’s in denial about what a failure his venture has been. From the looks of it, Ham is going to drive himself into bankruptcy in order to keep his little pet project open.

      https://twitter.com/americansunited/status/869947886192263170

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        You mean the Six Flags over Jesus Dinosaur Petting Museum didn’t turn things around for him?

    • Sakonyachen

      If they are right, I’m gonna volunteer to live in a fish. Also, too, if Samson’s power was all in his hair, can’t we just buzzcut Heir Trumpenfailure and move on?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cover is ready in case Donny is the “Person of the Year” again next year. Well….if any of us survive that long.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBQ2GxFVYAAAfcp.jpg

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Hands are too big.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Oooh, oooh, oooh! Certainly there will be a DC stop, or better yet, B’more! Please!!! I had a blast at the Gubmint Shutdown Hodown in 2013, which seems like another lifetime now.

    DC/Baltimore?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    An abomination?

    Lou Malnati’s or GTFO!

    • hendenburg2
    • boredcatlady

      Went there while in a Chicago — yummy! But that’s NOT pizza, it’s casserole!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I actually enjoy both Chicago and NY style pizza. It depends upon what I’m in the mood for and how hungry I am

        • i like all the pizzas all the times everywhere.

          however, i will likely bring NY style to the chi drink thingee as i will be biking and chi style is too heavy.

        • boredcatlady

          I like Chicago style too, but I didn’t try it until about 35 years into my life, and it’s sooooo different, so while I like it, I don’t think of it as pizza. It is amazing tho, three starving adults at Lou Malnatis, pie doesn’t look THAT BIG when it comes out, but by the time we were stuffed it seemed like we hadn’t even made a dent.

          When it comes to Chicago treats, I gotta go for train station popcorn 😊

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    pfft, why is my wonkette always going to “cities” like Chicago and Detroit and never coming to the isolated Texas cities.

    ‘s unfair i tell ya!
    ; )

    • boredcatlady

      Indeed. On behalf of The South, I ask why is wonkette doing Benghazi to southerners by going to Detroit?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    The beleaguered husband hies from Detroit, and they have this thing where like we have pizza they have awesome big polish hot dogs made of meat called Coney Islands (which is completely bizarre, since actual Coney Island hot dogs are three ounce gutbuster tubes of heavily-spiced bright red grease).

    But they’re really good.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Koegel’s hot dogs or GTFO! AND Vernor’s ginger ale!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, but no. He tells me that canadian Vernor’s is awesome, but it’s still lame.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          But what stance do you take on their cream soda? And actually, Australia and NZ’s ginger beers are way better than Vernor’s.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            We’re working our way through ginger beers. I’ll let you know.

          • Last trip to the grocery I bought Jamaican Ginger Beer. Not to my liking. YRMV

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It can be good. I wouldn’t bother if it contains high fructose corn syrup.

          • HarpyLibtart

            Ginger beer, I’ll give you…
            Ginger ALE in Australia is truly wrong, though.
            The happiest day in my recent memory was when I found a Coles selling cans of Canada Dry.

        • Alan

          Vernor’s is the only real ginger ale. At least if you grew up in Detroit.

  • Me not sure

    I’ll just leave this as a subtle suggestion…
    https://youtu.be/OTz8g8yh8GY

  • hendenburg2

    Let’s play SAT Analogies:

    “Chicago” is to “Beaches” as “____________” is to “Pizza”
    A) New York
    B) Chicago
    C) An airplane
    D) Naples

    The correct answer, of course, is B.

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    Detroit looks to be about 90% possible, depending on how CPB feels about me that day. Don’t suppose you could mebbe stretch the trip a lil to the east, couple of hours, to London? Didn’t think so…
    Can’t provide Middle Eastern food (around here ‘middle east’ means New Brunswick) but I could lug over some Timbits?

    • Alan

      Be careful, Canada might not take you back these days.

      • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron

        That’s why I take my birth certificate with me. Vive la Quebec libre!

    • Vienna Woods

      I have the perfect RV parking yard! With hot tub!

  • Jamespuck

    Well thank goodness, “Paris is to crowded, nobody goes there anymore”

    • Stulexington

      Nobody drove in NY, too much traffic.

  • I dislike the outdoors/bugs otherwise I’m there.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz
  • Connor

    You should come to Texas, where we languish in Wonkette obscurity. You could get seats for the upcoming Capitol Smackdown Royal Rumble & Outdoor BBQ…maybe smuggle a few of us out in your trunk.
    If you tell us you’re coming, we could introduce you to Vicente Fox. Or Kinky Friedman, if you prefer. Abbot can go f#@k himself, because he is a terrible person and no one can stand talking to him.

  • Zyxomma

    Have a great trip. Post photos!!

  • Nodrama4mama

    You know the Hawaii Woneketteers would love a visit. And we have delicious pineapple, and really really great ramen to offer.

    • Sakonyachen

      STL would love a visit as well. Our main dish is viscous racism, but we do like ramen noodles. Plus we have our flat pizzas with cheese that would kill a bull elephant. Why don’t you love us Wonkette?!?!

    • pianoplayer1

      I know you will never come to Alabama. If you ever came to Mobile, I can promise you would have the best food ever. It would make you slap your Mama!

  • Connor

    You should come to Texas, where we languish in Wonkette obscurity. You could get seats for the upcoming Capitol Smackdown Royal Rumble & Outdoor BBQ…maybe smuggle a few of us out in your trunk.
    If you tell us you’re coming, we could introduce you to Vicente Fox. Or Kinky Friedman, if you prefer. Abbot can go f#@k himself, because he is a terrible person and no one can stand talking to him.

  • SterWonk

    Do not bring Chicago style pizza, as it is an abomination and you will be EJECTED like a common reporter at Gianforte HQ.

    Is that edict only for bringing Chicago-style pizza to the Chicago Drinky-thing? Is it okay to bring Detroit-style pizza to the Detroit Drinky-thing?

    What about Detroit-style to Chicago? Chicago-style to Detroit?

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Huntington, WV will represent, barring any unforseen circumstances. A quick 6 hour drive, some mingling, a cheap motel room with hot and cold running crackheads, then 6 hours home. Now to figure out what to bring.

  • Alan

    If you can’t fold your pizza in half it’s not really pizza.

    • Parakeetist

      I am a Folder since childhood. Queens born and raised.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Any idiot can put ketchup on a cracker and call it pizza. Deep dish rules, New York drools.

      • Alan

        That’s not pizza.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        In other words, challenge accepted. You and me, prez, at Burnham Harbor with Chi-style pizza.

        • President in Exile Firefly

          Absolutely.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    If you judge Chicago style pizza from the tourist places you deserve what you get. Go into the neighborhoods and get Chicago style pizza from an actual Chicago place and also? Fuck New York pizza which is spaghetti sauce on old newspaper.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      We also have the best hot dogs and also the only good local beer.

      • Greg Comlish

        Good local beer is easy to find. Austin, Portland, San Diego, NYC, Denver, Santa Fe, Baltimore, Upstate NY. Even DC has good local beer.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOUUUUUUUU

    • ahughes798

      We called NY pizza ketchup on a cracker. Fun dieting fact: If you blot the top of your pizza with a paper towel, you can save 50-75 calories a slice, or square. ‘Cuz all pizza has grease on it, from the cheese.

  • zerosumgame0005

    oh fer gawds sake STOP the PIZZA WAR! there are crappy NY pizza places and crappy Chicago pizza places! and both cities have excellent ones! so what if you fold one and drip oil all over yourself, or that the other is built like a lasagna with too much bread involve. pizza is good for the main part anf the bickering is silly!

    • SeeTrain65

      BTW: There are also crappy Detroit pizza places. Little Caesar’s and Domino’s come immediately to mind.

    • OTB

      And I haven’t even told them yet that the best NY pizza by far is in Connecticut…

  • RugzYaBurnt

    YAY!!!!! I look forward to meeting the WonkFam, and don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of foisting the undercooked-savory-muffin-dough-mess that is deep dish upon you!

  • SeeTrain65

    REBUTTAL: There are NO BAD PIZZAS. (Except Domino’s, Little Caesar’s and Papa John’s.)

    • Stulexington

      Objection! The Domino’s here is pretty good.

      • SeeTrain65

        We have a couple home town joints here that are much better than our Domino’s, and not having to wait an hour or more for delivery helps, too. (Which has happened here much more than once.)

        • Stulexington

          Here all the local joints run a weird scam where they charge twice as much for one pizza and offer a second one “free”.

          Edit: also too it’s right down the road so I don’t usually get delivery, but when we do it’s pretty quick.

          • SeeTrain65

            We had a shoe store nearby that tried the same trick, only they charged $150 for two pairs of shoes, BOGO, when the retail on one pair was $65.

            They stayed in business for about … oh … a day or two.

          • H0mer0

            I’ve wondered about that cuz whether I order one or two pizzas, it looks like the total always comes out to $30.

  • crazymonkeylady

    Please remember, Detroit’s Belle Isle does not allow alcoholic beverages without a permit. June 9th may still have some signs of the Grand Prix Race on the island. There may be detours and some tearing down still taking place. Be prepared. State Police will be patrolling. And park rangers will check admission passes. Belle Isle has the country’s oldest aquarium, and the botanical gardens are beautiful. The conservatory has specimens of plants from around the world. and is a Must see. The Dossin Museum shows the history of the Maritime industry in Detroit, and features the bell from the wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald that sunk in a gale in Whitefish Bay. It also has a cannon that was found in the Detroit River from the 1800’s. I grew up here and know it well! Come and enjoy! I will try to make it!

  • Stulexington

    Probably already been shared, but in case it hasn’t:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvKs2VLmVnY

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Next stop, Danville VA. Still 3+ hours to DC.

  • calliecallie

    Rebecca, you are a very spontaneous person! June 9 is like next week! I want to be there but I have a previous commitment. Aarghh! We had such fun last time. And to see Donna Rose! Aarghh! I will ponder my options.

    • rebecca

      I know dearheart. I have actually been planning for a while, just fucked off on posting till we were all confirmed :(

      • calliecallie

        I am sorry we will not see you, but hope you have a safe trip and a great time with the fam.

  • Weird Fishes

    Dear Wonkette,
    The wind beneath my wings,
    When oh when are you coming back to NYC?
    Weird

  • Vienna Woods

    Well damn. And to think that one of my ancestors had a farm on that there Belle Isle when it was still called Hog Island. However, I cannot attend this delightful event, as I have no passport.

    • rebecca

      wait, do you need a passport for Belle Isle?

      • Dawn Badalamente Schulte

        Nah, it’s still part of ‘Murica.
        But tantalizingly close to The Land of Trudeau.

        • H0mer0

          [I think Wien Woods lives in Canadia]

      • Vienna Woods

        Crossing the border? Oh, yeah.

        • DownriverDem

          Belle Isle is in the Detroit River in Detroit Michigan.

      • DownriverDem

        Belle Isle is a state park so you have to pay to get on the island.

    • DownriverDem

      You don’t need a passport if you live in Michigan. For Canadians coming over, I guess you need one.

      • Vienna Woods

        Yes, I am Canadian, so yes, I do need a passport.

  • jodyleek

    I’m from “Minnesota”! I’m from “Minnesota”! Pick me, pick me! (Jumps up and down and waves arms wildly).

  • YetAnotherRebecca

    Damn it! The full Wonkette family is coming to Chicago and I can’t attend because I’ll be traveling for work. Eating sausages on a beach with Wonkers sounds a hell of a lot more fun than being in India working an overnight shift training people.

  • Verena Block

    I will bring Big Fork sausages and pretzel buns. Will I have to roam the beach in search of you, or will there be a 20ft Wonkette banner hoisted aloft to guide my way?

    • rebecca

      you’ll find us! but the banner’s only five feet :)

  • OTB

    Damn, wrong date. Can’t make. Come to NYC sometime.

  • BradtheBot

    Thanks for coming our way. I plan to see y’all in Detroit!

  • Adam Broad

    Am bumming that jobs will interfere with a personal connection to the snarkolution in Chicago.

  • DownriverDem

    You will love Detroit! Don’t forget to visit Campus Martius Park in the heart of Downtown.

  • virgomusic

    Come to Columbus, OH! It’s way cooler than coastal folks know! (I’m a coastal folk who got landlocked here, that’s how I know!)

  • Jen P

    FYI, for people coming to Detroit, if you checked the Recreation Passport box when renewing your license plate, you’re covered for all Michigan State Parks, including Belle Isle. And if you didn’t or you’re not from Michigan but like our parks, the $11 you pay to drive to Belle Isle is good for all those state parks for a year. That’s a damned good deal!

  • Ben

    Aww. I’d love to go to the Detroit one. Would have been really convenient for me. Unfortunately I work all evening that day.

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