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TROUBLE!

Remember last week when there was all of a sudden news that the FBI’s investigation into Trump-Russia-Obstruction of Justice-Russia-Pee Hookers-Michael Flynn-Russia had reached a “senior White House adviser”? It was all so (Jared) vague! Everybody on Twitter was like WHO IS (JARED!) IT? Is it somebody like Steve Bannon (JARED!) or is it somebody in the Trump family (J-A-R-E-D)? Literally everybody was pretty sure it was Jared.

WELL FOOLED YOU, YOU WERE WRONG, BECAUSE IT WAS MELANIA.

Just kidding it was Jared.

NBC got the scoopty doo, and so did the Washington Post, so we’ll quote from WaPo because fuck Andy Lack:

Investigators are focusing on a series of meetings held by Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and an influential White House adviser, as part of their probe into Russian meddling in the 2016 election and related matters, according to people familiar with the investigation.

Kushner, who held meetings in December with the Russian ambassador and a banker from Moscow, is being investigated because of the extent and nature of his interactions with the Russians, the people said.

Ooh ooh, pick Wonkette, pick Wonkette! We know about those meetings! We wrote about one of them to you in March, explaining that Jared had a secret back-door meeting during the Trump transition AT TRUMP TOWER with both Michael Flynn and Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak. (When we say “back door,” we don’t mean like in the butt, we literally mean the Russian came in the back door.) Then later in March we learned about a second meeting with the Russian ambassador that Jared didn’t actually actually go to (probably getting a pedicure) so he sent his “deputy,” which is hilarious because it means that Jared has a “deputy.” We ALSO learned about a third meeting, where Jared met with this other Russian dude Sergey Gorkov, who is the head of a Russian state-owned bank called Vnesheconombank (VEB). We don’t know what they talked about (hair products probably) but that was a meeting Jared surely did fail to report! That bank, by the way, is under sanctions right now!

Fun fact: Gorkov ALSO used to be deputy chair of another Russian state-owned bank called Sberbank, which is currently being represented by Marc Kasowitz, the lawyer Trump has just retained to defend him against all things “Russia scandal.” And Sberbank was a sponsor of Trump’s 2013 Moscow Miss Universe pageant, and the CEO threw a sexxxxxxxy dinner during that trip where Trump got to meet 10 of Russia’s finest oligarchs and OH FUCK Y’ALL RACHEL MADDOW’S GLENN BECK WHITE BOARD IS GONNA BE BALLIN’ TONIGHT.

Jared was also there at that weird cocktail party/drag show/Amway party way back in April of 2016 at the Mayflower Hotel, where Trump, Jeff Sessions, the Russian ambassador, three other ambassadors, and a few other folks got together to discuss (???????) and then Trump gave a foreign policy speech about Russia that could charitably described as a “rim job.”

Now the WaPo is careful to say that nobody has said Jared is a “target” of the FBI’s investigation, he is just a person of interest. So he could be innocent or guilty or just a dumb dipshit with great abs who’s stuck up in the middle of this. But this does mean the FBI is looking at Jared’s flawless skin under a microscope, and presumably when they’re done acting like a common Ivanka by ogling his skin, they are also looking at all his weird dealings with Russia.

Is he going to get LOCK HIM UP-ed? We sure don’t know! But maybe this is why Ivanka ‘n’ Jared all of a sudden decided to up and leave Daddy’s Big Exciting Trip To See The Foreigns early, because SOMEBODY was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Anyway, DRIP DRIP DRIP, that is the sound of the Russia news that comes out every night, and also of the cocktail we need to go make ourselves right now, goodbye.

Wonkette is funded by readers like you! If you appreciate us coming back to work to write breaking news at you, THROW US DOLLARS by clicking below!

[Washington Post]

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  • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
  • JMP

    Who knew that a man whose father and father-in-law are both criminals would turn out to be a crook as well?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      It’s a puzzlement.

      • JMP

        Michelle Goldberg on Chris Hayes just called the Kushner-Trumps a New York gangster family; hee.

        • Shoto

          Three words: Crim in al.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Tide goes in, tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

  • doktorzoom

    Just a quick traffic cop note here: Please keep discussion here focused on the Jared Situation; the Montana Election/Open Thread post should remain your destination for general chattiness and Montana Election discussion, ‘kay?

    • HazooToo

      Best of luck with that, but if you want it to stick, you may have to drop additional reminders in periodically, even in the morning.

      • Left Coast Tom

        May need to fix the “a” tag, also, too.

        • doktorzoom

          Jeeze, I fix it as soon as the comment goes up, and still people call me on it…

          • JMP

            It doesn’t matter how fast you fix it, when someone hits the “show # more comments” it always loads the original comment without edits.

          • doktorzoom

            Ah, well in that case, I’ll feature a clean version…

          • doktorzoom

            One quick traffic cop note: Please keep discussion here focused on the Jared Situation; the Montana Election/Open Thread post should remain your destination for general chattiness and Montana Election discussion, ‘kay?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            what time do polls close there, 7PM?

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            7pm Mountain time. So 8pm in Civilisation.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Disqus doesn’t seem to auto-update corrections, just new comments.

    • YOU ARE STIFLLING MY FREEDOM OF SPEACH!!

      • C4TWOMAN

        ITS LIKE TYRANNY IN SOVIET RUSSIA!11!
        How will we ever endure?

        • Suttree

          Vodka?

          • Lamashtar

            I’M DRUNK RIGHT NOW!

          • Suttree

            That makes two of us.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I think “liberal fascism” is the new go-to when you don’t get what you want.

          • TheBoatDude

            Libruullllllz!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        HE’s a MONSter!!!!

        • Cock Blockula

          He is WORSE than CANNED CLAMS!

          • SterWonk

            Whoa whoa whoa, let’s not exaggerate!!!

    • Bozilingus

      Dok, you might have more success if you move the Montana Election/Open Thread post to the top.
      No matter what you choose to do, you are still best pony…

      • doktorzoom

        actually, not a bad Idea. will adjust the timestamp.

    • tehbaddr

      Um, we might want to declare this our open thread good sir?

      • armed_bears

        Naw…. the REAL open thread will be the Montana election finals, est. publication time 9:23 pm Mountain.

        • tehbaddr

          Hey, good one! Mountain time doesn’t exist!

          • armed_bears

            Kinda more a state of mind, really.

      • doktorzoom

        Nope! Open thread is Montana. For srs.

    • UnsaltedSinner
  • Bill D. Burger

    If it’s federal, Jared’s got one of these from PaPa in law. On a state level…..he would be toast.

    https://s10.postimg.org/ga60hiwu1/perk.jpg

  • Marla

    Who needs cocktails when one has legal weed?

    As for that little nepotist asshole, no question he is fashionable bulletproof vest and designer sunglasses deep in Russian ties.

    That whole god damn Trump crime family must have every ambulance-chasing lawyer in D.C. on speed dial right now

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i will recycle my own joke: “drip, drip, plop”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    When the FBI goes after someone named Jared, it gets ugly quick.

  • Shoto

    “Investigators are focusing on a series of meetings held by Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and an influential White House adviser a garden-variety asshole.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Khavrinen

      “Things to do today”

      “What do we do every day, Pinky?”

      • Suttree

        Shit our pants and blame the smell on bannon?

  • azeyote

    it’s nice to give him benefit of the doubt, but he’s a slimy slum lord, and they are always guilty – it’s just in their nature to sneak around getting rich by making things worse for others – Ivanka got one like dear old dad –

    • Edith Prickly

      It takes zero talent or smarts to be a real estate speculator – all you need is a pile of chutzpah and no soul. That’s why it attracts so many empty suits.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Actually you need money, too.

        • Bozilingus

          Usually somebody else’s.

  • Yr. Gma

    You still nursing that Jared crush, Evan?

  • monoglot

    But he had such upstanding role models…

    I’m sure his parents could fund some endowment to get him into one of the ivy league penitentiaries.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Maybe Jared can get daddy’s old bunk at the Federal Prison Camp in Montgomery Alabama…

    • Marla

      Fuck that. Supermax,Colorado

      • Shoto

        ADX Florence. It’s the only way to be sure.

  • Edith Prickly

    Maybe it’s time Trump got out of the hotel business and started building prisons with his name on them. He could fill them with everyone who’s ever worked for him.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Ooh! And they’d be profitable too…or should we not give him ideas?

    • Khavrinen

      “I’m not just the President, I’m also a client/inmate!”

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        “I liked it so much, I bought the company”

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      “Draining the swamp!”

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Couldn’t we just turn his buildings into prisons?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • tehbaddr

      And remember to spay and neuter all those in the trump clan.

  • JMP

    At least Jared didn’t commit any serious crimes, like having a perfectly legal private email server.

    • Edith Prickly

      Or ordering pizza.

      • wait! what?

        I’m sending him a risotto recipe to seal his fate.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You do know that risotto recipes were swapped on that server, right? That’s outrageous!!!!

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
  • Bill D. Burger

    Look! It’s “Meet Steve Bannon Day” at the White House. Glad he made it back safely.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/09/article-2338282-1A388235000005DC-462_634x455.jpg

    • C4TWOMAN

      Eewwwww….

      • armed_bears

        Yeah, but come on… the resemblance is eerie.

  • wait! what?

    I think Steve Bannon knew this was coming and came home early to do his victory dance.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2f21548429391ab4a7a6c02095483e389a286ecd11267352899f047adec16c9.gif

    • Marla

      Or take him and his off-shore money on a impromptu vacation

  • Bill D. Burger

    Meanwhile….over at the Onion:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DAtTks2XkAAIjVn.jpg

  • WIDTAP

    “When we say “back door,” we don’t mean like in the butt, we literally mean the Russian came in the back door.”

    Does that really clarify anything?

  • BosGrl

    Jared Kushner has the blandest, most boring face I’ve ever seen. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s like there’s no “there” there.

    • Wild Cat

      It gains character when you stuff its cheeks with money. Either set of cheeks . . .

    • Marla

      There’s no there behind the their, either.

  • Me not sure

    Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf620c41f14b6191048f78d9a078c20aeb2d939419ce4c84ee97b1b2b016c495.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      My friend hates when that happens.

      • Me not sure

        So does his goat, I’ll bet.

    • Doug Langley

      Okay, now I’m understand why Trump Monopoly didn’t sell.

      • Me not sure

        Lost the goat market.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Doug Langley

      “It means we’re being invaded by alien mashed potatoes!!”

      (MAD magazine)

  • Picabo

    I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcFlp6kl508

  • DainBramage

    Maybe we’ll hear the twerp speak someday.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SsFME-MTiA

    • not_vh

      hilarious. oliver is a maha trickster.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Maybe we’ll hear him SING!

  • I do not get the jared love. there are a lot of pretty boys with nice abs. give me some cheekbones or a jawline. or both.

    random thoughts:
    viggo
    daniel
    hamm
    jake
    that canadian
    either helmsworth

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Ivanka and Jared left the European vacation? All that was left was the G7 and that sounds boring.

  • Wild Cat

    The nazi-wing of the reich (Bannon) probably set-up the neocon war-profiteer wing (Kushner) of the homeland . . .

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Three words:

    C’mon, you know what they are!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “I love you?”

    • DainBramage

      “Naked perp walk”?

    • Wild Cat

      He’ll. Get. Off.

      • DainBramage

        Boo!

        • Wild Cat

          They’ve paid no price in my lifetime. They even go on to get TV and radio shows and ministries . . .

          • DainBramage

            I’m not disagreeing with you. Reality makes me want to boo.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Who’s a good boy? (Dogs can’t count)

    • Spurning Beer

      Radical Islamic terrorism?

      Lyin’ Ted Cruz?

      Mar-a-Lago?

    • Bobathonic

      Touch my monkey?

      • WeaselPoo

        Ah, Dieter!
        you get ALL the points for that reference.

    • Suttree

      Life without parole?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Kiss my ass!

    • Alan

      But Hillary Clinton?

  • Bill D. Burger

    OK…I peeked. Somebody had to. Rightie WooWoo blogs, you know who they are, it’s all “Bbbbuuuttt Hilllary” “Emailghazeee” “Bengazaraeeeee”…….. “They stopped the investigations out of fear Hillary would kill them…”

    I swear to god you can’t make that shit up, and there’s no way to make it sound more stupid. It’s scary to think such people are out there.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Not only are they out there, but they’re so constantly aggrieved and outraged, they actually go out and vote. I’m hoping for once our side will actually show up at the polls in 2018, especially now that Shillary Benghazi Murderous Witch Clinton isn’t on the ticket.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He’s going to blame Chris Christie for all this.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I used to think Ivanka was a fairly intelligent, polished, young woman. After listening to her talking about women “architecting” their lives, while promoting her idiotic book, I wanted to pull my hair out. I’m fairly sure the country is now being run by a demented, greedy old man, and a couple of thirty something dingbats.

    • h4rr4r

      Dingbat libels!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ha ha!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I may as well stop writing my next dystopian novel right now. I can’t compete with that.

    • BosGrl

      I’ve seen pictures of her smiling but she is dead behind the eyes. So is Jared.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She clearly has no real world experience. Her plan to help working parents get a tax break for taking time off to be with their children sounds good. Then you realize it’s a tax write off for nanny expenses. That should help the average American.

        • Amycdoucette

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sn230c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
          !sn230c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs530ShopWhiteGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sn230c:….,….

      • Nancy the Artist

        So is Melania and Trump’s two sons. They are all a bunch of mannequins.

    • Alan

      Only fooled you once.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Anyone who ever heard her on Howard Stern with Pops knew what a shallow, enabling, idiot daddy’s-girl she’s always been.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Luckily, I don’t listen to Howard Stern. The few times I’ve heard her speak, she sounded fairly smart. Then I actually listened to what she was saying. She’s articulate, but she’s shallow as hell. Probably because she’s had no real life experience. She’s spent her entire life in a bubble.

        • aureolaborealis

          That’s the salesman/con-artist DNA bleeding out around the edges.

    • Shoto

      I’m fairly sure the country is now being run by a demented, greedy old man, and a couple of thirty something dingbats.

      By my reckoning, that’s pretty much a bullseye.

    • ariel_gee_398
      • Moar Wordz

        What does the photo show ? I can’t see it, is blurry

    • Swampay

      You had doubts?

  • wait! what?
  • Spurning Beer

    I do have some faith in American law and jurisprudence, but I cannot imagine that Jared Kushner would ever see the inside of a jail cell, let alone a prison cell, even if he sold missile plans to Kislyak, and got a receipt.

    • bookish

      I’m afraid you’re right. If we could just get the Kushners out of our government, I’d be happy.

    • Joe Beese

      And deducted his airline tickets as a business expense.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the more likely scenario is he’d get paid for selling the plans, but fail to deliver, so Kislyak would send the FSB after him

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Chris Christie put his dad in jail, so there’s that.

  • natoslug

    I’m starting to think building a wall isn’t such a bad idea after all. Not at the border, more of a “line them up” wall.

    • WeaselPoo

      very droll.

      • natoslug

        What can I say? I’m on a droll today. Okay, that isn’t punny at all.

    • Suse

      We had a saying in the ’60s: Up against the wall, motherfuckers!

      • Spurning Beer

        The Trumps had a saying, too. “Up against the Waldorf, my friends!”

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Jerry Jeff Walker! Up against the wall, redneck mothers…..
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oguftk-T3x8

        • Courser_Resistance

          Man, I remember singing that badly and loudly in bars, while shit-faced drunk.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Good times, good times.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Well, they were times, not so sure they were good. OTOH, I’m still upright, so they couldn’t have been too bad ;-)

          • TheBoatDude

            Is there any other way?

          • Courser_Resistance

            Nope. What’s funny is the times it happened, I’d been dragged to some funk-hole bar by friends late in the evening.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    How will Donald’s tiny hands write all those pardons?

    • DainBramage

      President Bannon won’t write this one for him.

    • shivaskeeper

      A single blanket pardon?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Rubber stamp?

  • jesuswasablack

    Tweety on msnbc was showing some sweet B-roll of Jared and Ivanka walking up the steps of Air Force One, that girl can shake that ass!
    http://washingtonfeed.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/1495233073_29_look-what-melania-trump-did-immediately-before-boarding-air-force-one-watch-closely.jpg

    • BosGrl

      To be fair, it’s hard not to jiggle around a bit when you’re walking in grass in heels.

      • bookish

        Not a fan of Melon, but that girl can rock those heels. It’s not easy.

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        How do they not get stuck in the ground?

        • Shoto

          She lubricates them with the grease of exterminated peasants. Allegedly.

        • BosGrl

          They do, and you need toes of steel to pull them out without losing your shoe.

        • Marion in Savannah

          It’s an effing bitch. You either sink in, or you try to walk on tiptoe.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      She must have terrible neck issues.

    • Alan

      Did she buy those things?

      • SayItWithOtters

        She bought all those things. In her porny 11-year-old photo shoots with Dad she looks completely different. A couple of years later she was doing Maxim covers to show off all the birthday presents.

      • Yr. Gma

        And her nose, too.

      • PubOption

        Unless daddy bought them for her.

        The fact that she now looks like Melania suggests that he got a ‘two for the price of one’ deal.

    • Arthur Gane

      And daddy agrees with you.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      probably had to shake it for her dad while wearing nothing but her panties

      • Parakeetist

        Hrolllgrfrrrrlll

  • ServantToTheStars

    Let’s hope Orange is the New Flack.

  • And the guy from Subway becomes the second most awful Jared to have been investigated by the FBI.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      I guess that Jared Harris is the only good Jared left.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Jared Leto is cool.

  • Michael R
    • Chyron HR

      I’m tired of living in Mad Magazine’s Satirical Look at the Lighter Side of Fascism.

      • Spurning Beer

        Oh, come on. I mean, they called Steve Bannon a fink!

        • PubOption

          The Lone Haranguer rides again.

    • Doug Langley

      After all these years, MAD is still nailing it.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Complete with daughter-ogling.

  • btwbfdimho

    Oh no, the Palestine-Israel conflict will never be solved!

    • Chadwells

      Or the opioid epidemic!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        But he can still re-engineer government, right? I mean if the prison gives him a typewriter.

    • jesuswasablack

      Yeah who’s gonna save the world now?

    • Doug Langley

      My Gawd, will they ever find lasting peach?

      • WeaselPoo

        I saw what you did there.

        • Doug Langley

          Well, someone’s got to gr-apple with the issue.

          • Serai 1

            Only Jared’s intervention can bring a positive result to fruition!

          • Marion in Savannah

            I’m pining for the day…

      • janecita

        How did it go today?

        • Doug Langley

          My hands started shaking, that never happened. Clasped them and hoped for best. Recruiter very friendly, hope I sold him I had previously done exactly what they wanted.

          Got home from interview and found an email from summer camp. Written offer for full time at slightly higher rate than discussed. They give me till noon tomorrow to make up my mind. Called recruiter. They’re interviewing one more person tomorrow morning and can give me a decision by noon.

          So I have a summer job, but really hope it’s the IT one and not the summer camp. Won’t know until tomorrow.

          • janecita

            I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you! I hope that your long journey finally comes to an end:-)

  • Michael R

    Daddy’s little monster

    Charles Kushner (born May 16, 1954) is an American real estate developer. He founded Kushner Companies in 1985. In 2005, he was convicted of illegal campaign contributions, tax evasion, and witness tampering, and served time in federal prison.

  • Joe Beese

    I used up my “A” material in the open thread. So I’ll just say: Fuck this guy with a pineapple that’s on fire.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Green leafy end first…

    • Alan

      That sounds uncomfortable.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Why waste a perfectly good pineapple like that? Fuck this guy with a chainsaw.

      • Incoming Ham

        You will be wasting gas or electricity.

        Fuck him with a moldy corn cob.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Or sideways with a rusty rake.

  • Canis the Grey

    They can’t ALL be named Sergey, can they?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, all the ones that aren’t named Vladimir…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Igor libelz!

  • Shoto

    I cannot begin to articulate just how elated I would be if this snotty little shit ended up in the slam.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Especially if he became the b*tch of some big guy (preferably a big black guy).

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        With votes! (you must be careful; commenting rules)

      • AyeDiosDrinko

        Rape is never funny

    • Courser_Resistance

      He’d be following in his daddy’s footsteps! I think it was Krispy Kreme who put his dad in the big house

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • SayItWithWookies

    Now we get to find out if nepotism works both ways — can they all go to jail, plz?

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I find Jared very, very creepy.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s like how can a Jew look so Nazi-ey?

    • BosGrl

      He’s like the asshole prep school type who gets it first in the horror movie.

      • Count Awesome

        And you hope the killer SOMEHOW finds a way to kill him again later in the movie.

    • janecita

      Me too! The guy creeps me out!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I wonder what Jared thinks of the Montana election.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I can’t picture Jared body-slamming anyone, but then again I can’t picture him speaking either.

    • Doug Langley

      He could probably body-slam a wet noodle, but that’s about it.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Real justice would be for Jared to fix those slums for which he overcharges his tenants.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Or live in!

      • suziq

        Lock him up in one of his apartments for about 20 years.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          With nothing to read but Ivanka’s latest book.

          • suziq

            No TV either. No repairs on apartment for the 20 years.

          • Count Awesome

            With raw sewage leaking into the cell and a mouse infestation.

          • suziq

            It is already like that so they won’t have to make any changes.

          • Count Awesome

            He should be forced record it as an audio tape and then have to listen to it.

  • Alan

    Whew, at least he didn’t have an email server.

  • schmannity

    This is good news for Steve Bannon and catnip for alt-right Jew baiters.

  • memzilla Ω

    Hereinafter also too, the phrase “Russian meddling in our election” should be changed to “Russian sabotage of our election.”

  • La forza del resistino

    As much as I loathe hearing Trey Gowdy’s voice, I look forward to hearing his hard hitting questioning line of ‘Tell me, Mr. Kushner, do you like puppies? Thanks that’s all from me and I’ll yield my time back to the chairman.’.

    • Parakeetist

      I like puppies.

  • Count Awesome

    Trumpanzees are so paranoid about the “The Illuminati”, Rothschilds, and other nconspiracies that they chose to elect someone who is trying to create his own bush league version in hopes that they’d have access to it. Weirdly, it’s a little how like Trump has been with the New York social scene.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Except that we’re all forced to invite him to our parties and there’s no escaping ever.

      • Count Awesome

        One could always try to drink oneself to the point of alcohol poisoning.

      • PubOption

        What costume should the rich girl wear..

  • Shoto

    Rare video of Jared Kushner speaking. I’m fairly certain this will be his go-to boilerplate during FBI interviews.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SsFME-MTiA

  • WeaselPoo

    Has it occurred to anyone that in fact all these FBI investigations are just a crafty deep cover misinformation counter-intelligence operation to disguise the alt-fact that Jared and Bannon and Flynn and Ivanka and Melania and Manafort and Sessions and that lawyer we just heard about are all part of a super-double top secret organization that has alt-actually infiltrated the highest levels of the Russian oligarchy , so their cover won’t be blown in the final stages of Donald’s brilliant plan to bring down Putin and liberate Syria by, at the last minute, astronomically jacking up their golf-club membership fees and refusing to pay the contractors that built all those real-estate projects?

    Well? Anyone?

    • Doug Langley

      No.

      • WeaselPoo

        Oh. Well then. I suppose I’ll….just ….. wander off…in this direction….or maybe the other way…?

    • Marion in Savannah

      I think you’ve got a brilliant future selling new conspiracy theories to the right wing crazies. Now — be SURE to charge bigly.

      • WeaselPoo

        Thanks, but as I understand it you give the theories away for free—-the real money is in the gold-hoarding, testosterone pills and 30 gallon apocalypse buckets of hamburger helper.

    • DainBramage

      I don’t want to smoke what you’re smokin’.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Have you called Coast 2 Coast yet? I think this could get you at least a 20 minute block to explain it to George Nourri

      • WeaselPoo

        I’ll have to look that up–vaguely heard of Coast to Coast, but I am tragically un-hip to your complete reference.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      To clever by half.

      These people are all too stupid and greedy for such an operation.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Jared had a secret back-door meeting

    Say no more, squire. I feel Ivanka.

    I mean I feel FOR Ivanka.

    Let me rephrase, oh screw it.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Does you wife go? Is she a goer? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

      She goes to the Vatican.

      Bet she does, bet she does. Say no more, say no moahhh! But you’re a man of the world, squire. Are you a man of the Russian Federation?

      Yes…

      What’s it like?

  • janecita

    We should send every single Republican to Siberia, and call it a day?

    • Count Awesome

      Let’s see how they like it when they have to chop through the ice in the toilet to take a crap.

    • Shoto

      That’s a good idea in principle, but I have to wonder whether Siberia is really far enough? Could we compromise on, say, Saturn?

      • WeaselPoo

        I hear Saturn has an interesting atmosphere

        • Marion in Savannah

          As does Venus.

          • WeaselPoo

            Yeah but Venus also has Cat-Women (rawrrr) so, I vote for Saturn (or Jupiter which has MORE atmosphere, the most, so much atmosphere).

          • TJ Barke

            It’s yooge, people don’t know this, but it’s the yoogest planet, tremendous, bigly.

          • Khavrinen

            Jeebus, even in joke threads, Pluto’s still gettin’ no love…

          • Marion in Savannah

            But Venus has clouds of sulphuric acid, and is dense enough to crush a car…

          • WeaselPoo

            But it still has Cat-Women, is what I’m, saying. Cat. Women. Cat Women!!!!

      • Count Awesome

        Insert Uranus joke here.

        • TJ Barke

          I think you mean insert them into Uranus.

    • WeaselPoo

      Why do you hate Siberia, and Siberians?

      • janecita

        Better them than us!

        • WeaselPoo

          Cruel, but fair.

    • Cliff Hendroval
  • WotsAllThisThen

    Come on, it’s not like he told everyone where our nuclear subs are!

  • Marion in Savannah

    If you’re not watching Rachel Maddow, START NOW!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Dear Penthouse,

    There was this one time, in college, I engaged in a Gorkov with my buddies in the dorm.

    It involved large amounts of vodka and lube.

    –Jared

    • Count Awesome

      You forget “I never thought it would have happened to me,…”

    • La forza del resistino

      It was all fun and games until the Sergey guy stoli’d all the vodka.

      • Count Awesome

        And then Smirnoffed everywhere.

        • Pisto75666

          I just discovered there’s a brand of Russian vodka called Putinka. Coincidence? MAYYYBE.

  • memzilla Ω

    As it turns out, Jared was also the guy who pushed hardest for Comey to get shit-canned — obstruction of justice much? — and JUST LIKE JEFFERSON BEAUREGARD “NAMED AFTER TWO TRAITORS TO AMERICA” SESSIONS III, also lied on his SF-86 Security Clearance Form about meeting Rooshuns, which is a FELONY.

    I CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS PERP-WALK.

  • Count Awesome

    So…. Is “American Psycho” Jared’s biography?

  • La forza del resistino

    Jared: Before I mail this Harvard admittance form has your $2.5m check cleared, Dad?
    https://www.propublica.org/article/the-story-behind-jared-kushners-curious-acceptance-into-harvard

  • ariel_gee_398
  • Joe Beese

    Lawyers for Jared Kushner said on Thursday that the White House senior adviser would be willing to testify before Congress about his past meetings with Russian officials after news broke that he was reportedly being scrutinized in the FBI investigation into connections between Trump associates and Russia.

    Well, how generous of him.

    Asshole.

    • WeaselPoo

      He will of course take up two spots in the Congressional parking lot when he arrives to testify, and he will miss the garbage can by two feet when he tosses his half-empty Big Gulp at it,

      • jesterpunk

        He will park his limo across all the handicap parking spaces.

    • La forza del resistino

      Will Ivanka wear the same funeral wardrobe she wore to the Vatican while she sits behind the witness table, wiping tears from her eyes like a common Connie Corleone?

    • Lori

      Flynn also originally claimed to be willing to testify. I suspect Jared’s willingness will last about as long as Flynn’s did.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Flynn was seeking an immunity deal, which he did NOT get, so now he’s lawyering up to avoid the pokey. Congress is like “fine, we’ll subpoena your businesses.”

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I’m thinking the leak/informant is Chris Christie. After all his work for Trump he got nothing. Christie did put Jared’s dad in jail years ago.
    Once Jared goes to prison who will bring peace to the Middle East and handle the Opiod Epidemic?

  • TJ Barke

    So how long ’til the Trump admin is declared a criminal enterprise and brought down with RICO?

    • jesterpunk

      Its probably not going to be RICO because that is kind of hard to prove and not used much.Popehat had a pretty good article about why its almost never RICO. But they can still get them for other things.

      https://www.popehat.com/2016/06/14/lawsplainer-its-not-rico-dammit/

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, back when he was US Attorney for the 2nd District Rudy 911 nailed a bunch of mobsters using RICO. (Maybe the only decent thing the SOB ever did.)

        Details here: http://themobmuseum.org/notable_names/rudolph-giuliani/

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I lived in NYC back when Rudy wasn’t insane. He really went off the rails.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Rudy on rails? Is that a programming joke?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            He didn’t froth at the mouth back then.

    • La forza del resistino

      As soon as Donald’s lawyer teaches him how to pronounce emoluments let alone explain what it means.

  • La forza del resistino

    Has anyone actually heard Jared speak since recording that $5 footlong ad?

  • Count Awesome

    When will he get the “kiss of death” from the Mafioso in Chief?

  • Me not sure
    • “M”

      Someone actually said that on, I think, Chris Matthews – that they had that whole urbane persona that made people think they were principled. Or something.

      I was like “Oh, snap.”

      • Me not sure

        Saw that too!

  • “M”

    CRYING at this headline. :D

    Rachel is talking about Jared right now.

    One of my friends had to chide me that “named after a jewelry store” is not a good Trump Family crossword headline because …

    Tiffany.

  • Jgb979

    Admit it….you’re curious what he sounds like

    https://youtu.be/vrduuwybf8w

    (I honestly had never heard his voice. Pretty much nothing about this says “give this man control of all parts of the government”)

    • jowgajen

      He’s not a good speaker.

    • jesterpunk

      Damn I hate people and speaking in public and I can do a better job then he did.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I love how they all seem to be fleeing as soon as he starts to speak.

      • JurisGal

        and the polite clapping!

    • La forza del resistino

      That’s why we call hired lawyers mouthpieces.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He knows the audience is ignoring him.

      Also, he’s a dingbat who shouldn’t be running a real estate company, much less the United States of America.

    • cmd resistor

      You are so right. That is the first time i ever heard his voice. Underwhelmed.

    • JurisGal

      My word! The chaos at the beginning of his speech! I hadn’t heard his voice before either.
      I wonder if he uses those Andy Samberg-like video shorts when discussing peace in the Middle East and the opioid crisis?

  • Ninja0980

    At least Jared can ask his daddy about what prison is like.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Let’s not forget :

    #1: Ivanka is a world-class liar and fraudster like her father (condos in Mexico, fraudulent purchase SoHo condos);
    #2: Jarhead is slumlord and world-class liar, too (paid to get into Harvard).
    #3: They are related to the biggest fraudster president in history.

    • Suse

      We need to rescue Barron. That poor kid!

      • gallbladder

        Not until he’s finished hacking the Russian nuclear codes for daddy (I hear he’s a “whiz” with computers.)

        • Cogswell

          Yup, he’s up on the cyber, the cyber.

          • Cliff Hendroval

            He does the most amazing stuff with the cyber!

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        It’s nice that Trump named him after his alter-ego

      • Lori

        Maybe he can live with Tiffany after the rest of them go to prison.

  • gallbladder

    Say it ain’t so, Kushy!

  • Suse

    Am I weird for loving Michael Beschloss?

  • Bozilingus

    A song for Jared and his mob…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdALfXpYCLs

    • Suse

      Didn’t Drumpf say last week that Melania makes a good spaghetti sauce? It has meat and tomatoes in it! How innovative of her.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Does she make a good puttanesca sauce?

        (Google “puttanesca” for translation. Heh heh heh.)

        • Count Awesome

          Mmm, hooker sauce.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            Bingo.

          • Count Awesome

            When I first learned to make the Puttanesca the chef that taught me said it literally translates to hooker sauce, but there were two stories why.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            My understanding is that hookers in Naples offered food along with their services. They created a pasta sauce with anchovies, kalamata olives and capers that was extremely aromatic which attracted more customers. I make puttanesca sauce almost from scratch, my one compromise being using canned diced tomatoes. The results from fresh tomatoes are too variable, in my experience.

        • Marion in Savannah

          I’ll bet she adds canned clams to hers…

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            That MONSTER!!!

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Does she make it with ketchup?

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I’m betting the only thing Malaria makes for dinner is reservations.

      • calliecallie

        And she learned the recipe from watching that prison scene in The Godfather, which is how my husband learned to make spaghetti sauce. Really, I’m starting to think that there’s nothing these people do that couldn’t be copied from a scene in that movie.

  • jesterpunk
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I had my “*cough* Jared Kushner *cough*” post deployed several days ago. What do I win?

  • boll ocks

    i read every time you said “Jared” in a glam metal style, like “Jaaarrrreedd!”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Every time I read Jared I say it in my head like “Daaarrrrylll”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Will we have to fund a new prison exclusively for guys named Jared?

  • Count Awesome

    Weird how Ivanka actually kind of did marry her dad.

  • Thorn Spike

    The apple didn’t fall far from that horse.

  • JMP

    Be careful, Jared; the political figure Donald most resembles, Benito Mussolini, made his son-in-law his top advisor and one of the most important figures in the Italian government (he also constantly made inappropriate creepy comments about how hot his daughter was), but when things were falling apart as the Allies landed in Italy, that didn’t stop Benito from accusing him of disloyalty and having him executed.

    • Count Awesome

      So Jared needs to get the Italian version of Rosetta Stone?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Jared needs to cash in his bonus points with Subway.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      Also Donnie has sort of forgotten how that whole Benito thing ended up….

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Rich Americans, including the Trumpkushnergambino family, have forgotten how the French Revolution turned out, too.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Let them eat votes!!!!

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          I myself am weaving my tumbrels as we speak….

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I really don’t see how this is going to end well. My one hope is that Trump’s incompetence causes four years of gridlock, and then we get rid of him. Of course, we’ll have Gorsuch for the next 40 years.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Fun fact about Count Galeazzo Ciano: He was only the second Count whose father was a remarkably corrupt thug, ennobled by Victor Emmanuele III.

      Compare and contrast.

  • Michael R


    I just saw a TV ad where a democrat candidate calls Trump a narcissistic maniac

    Here it is …

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDonPK5bJoM&feature=youtu.be

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Did it feature the hotels.com Captain Obvious character?

    • chascates

      Too late; Trump’s brought hate to every fearful county in the country.

      • Count Awesome

        The hate was there, Trump made it acceptable for it to be on display. Just like pushing someone out of the way at a photo op to make sure one is in the center of the photo.

    • Virginia is fun for politicking ^.^

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Already knowed this by cipherin’.

  • chascates

    This may be thought something of a great drama, or a great tragedy, but it is but a minor comedy. Take away the high positions, the great wealth, and all that is left are coarse, greedy people.

    • Count Awesome

      “Like sand through the hourglass, this is the corruption of the Trump administration.”

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      It’s really a warning that a sustainable democracy is not a given.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Today I said to somebody “I never thought I’d live to see the day that we had a president who was threatening to jail his political opponent, shut down the free press, and can’t string a coherent sentence together.” We have an actual Idiot American for a president.

        The silver lining is that I’m hoping he’s the match that will light the fire under America’s ass to stop voting for morally bankrupt Republicans. If anyone votes for a Republican in 2020, they are just straight up stupid.

  • Paperless Tiger

    I’m too pretty to go to jail!

    • Count Awesome

      I’m too rich to go to jail!
      FTFY

      • Marla

        I’m too orange to go to jail

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Jared, we know Evan likes you, but he has terrible taste in Celebrity Crushes, and nobody else thinks you’re that cute.

  • Sophia

    This breaking news stuff has got to stop after OT has started. Send these people to bed or something. Keeping up with non-comments on 2 threads at once is making me crazy.

  • Count Awesome

    When Jared testifies before Congress, will it be an act of “dick-tation”?

  • FDRliberal

    Opinion Fact: Trump’s behavior at NATO is a national embarrassment

    There, fixed it for you Washington Post.

    https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/867867136588484608

    • Marla

      He looks like a paint huffer needing a fix in that photo.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I had the misfortune to watch his speech in real time. His audience was stupefied by his stupidity.

      I’m always slightly amused by Trump, and then I’m like “holey fuckballs, this reality TV star, narcissistic dipshit is running the United States of America.” This is a man who pretended he had a publicist named John Barron, who had THE EXACT SAME VOICE AS TRUMP, who would talk about all the ass that Trump was getting. WHO DOES THAT?????

      • Trump. Trump does that. No one else is that fucking pathetic

      • FDRliberal

        I remember when that John Barron story came out. It would have sunk any other candidate aside from Trump. However during the election the mainstream media adored Trump, who they generously gave tons of free air time and ignored most of the jaw-dropping stories which exposed him as the nutcase he is today.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          He was great for advertising revenue, he’s just not so hot for the country.

    • Mister Atoz

      Love the photo (especially knowing how much Trump would hate it).

    • jesterpunk

      Don’t you think he looks tired?

      • Al Swearengen

        He’s gotta be melting down, what with the horrorshow NATO reception today. And this Jared stuff might be the last straw, because it’s got to have Ivanka freaking out, which is more pressure on him.

  • doktorzoom

    Okeydoke, kids, polls are closed in Montana and we’ll start talking about returns over on the Montana Election/Open thread as soon as there are returns to talk about. O, the Excitement!

    • Excitement? I was going to say test to see how fucking balls to the wall insane this country is and God Help Us (TM) that Montana gets to be a proving ground….
      But I guess excitement is a nicer word

  • Maaaaamas don’t let yer babies grow up to be Jareds
    They turn out to crimers that truly do suck
    like Pedos and grifters and greedy freak fucks

    • psychobroad

      Bravo!

  • Shibusa

    Did anybody see CNN/Alan Dershowitz tonight blathering on self-righteously about how Mueller doesn’t have any jurisdiction to investigate Trump/Russia collusion? He is always caterwauling that he’s a “civil ibertarian” but in his various CNN appearances lately he sure seems like a Trump apologist more than anything. (Toobin pushes back.)

    • RobespierreHoo

      Dershowitz has long ago descended into “crank” territory. He’s a blatthering old fool in a worn, torn “Harvard Law Football” jersey.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Dersh jumped the shark when he joined OJ defense team.

    • bluicebank

      Everytime I read “Dershowitz” I light a candle for Clarence Darrow, invoking him from the grave, and beseeching him to inform Daniel Webster that the Devil won.

    • Dinz6315

      Dershowitz supports torture.
      He can go piss up a rope.

  • Come here a minute

    Sberbank? Isn’t that where they taped Johnny Scarson?

  • bookish

    https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-05-26/when-the-feds-come-knocking-on-kushner-s-door

    Kushner, at 36 years old, had little diplomatic or global business experience prior to the president giving him one of the White House’s most powerful and multi-faceted portfolios. The prospect that he may have been jockeying for Chinese or Russian financiers to bail out him and his family from a potentially disastrous investment at 666 Fifth Avenue presents complex but obvious conflicts of interest as well as the prospect of injudicious or self-serving White House policymaking.

    Clear thinking from leading voices in business, economics, politics, foreign affairs, culture, and more.
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    The Trumps and the Kushners have also played fast and loose with the norms of ethics and conflicts of interest standards as they’ve gone about mingling their political and business lives. It’s visible in the Washington hotel that they continue to own and run not too far from the White House; it’s visible in the Kushner family’s recent fundraising tour in China for a New Jersey property, and it’s visible — in the very lack of visibility — around the president’s own financial holdings and tax payments.

    • Michael R

      … and if you’re not familiar with Jared’s daddy ..

      Charles Kushner (born May 16, 1954) is an American real estate developer. He founded Kushner Companies in 1985. In 2005, he was convicted of illegal campaign contributions, tax evasion, and witness tampering, and served time in federal prison.

      • jesterpunk

        Even better Chris Christie did LOCK HIM UP to Jared’s dad.

      • bettycat

        Ah yeah, an all American crime family.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    This is the Comedy of Errors on crack with a side dose of meth times eleventy. I want off this merry-go-round NOW

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Worst remake ever or sheer comedy gold?

    https://twitter.com/IvankaToWorkDay/status/867887061927305217

  • Les H

    I just want to reach out to give a standing ovation to Even Hurst for making me spit PBR onto my screen. Favorite Senior Editor ever.

  • bluicebank

    Fucking children of the corn. They all have that dead-eye stare going on.

    Wasn’t this supposed to be the week when a cherry-bomb wasn’t tossed into the toilet every day? Sure, ha ha ha.

    Fucking Jared. The creepy one.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9eee34b4febdec2454d2eabcae00a098946ce6fcd349c5bcd8ae63f19d1eafae.jpg

    • calliecallie

      That is fucking awesome.

    • JoeChristmas

      Except those alien kids were actually smart.

  • bookish

    http://www.salon.com/2017/05/25/psychiatrist-bandy-lee-we-have-an-obligation-to-speak-about-donald-trumps-mental-health-issues-our-survival-as-a-species-may-be-at-stake/?google_editors_picks=true

    In an effort to answer these questions, I recently spoke with Dr. Bandy Lee, a psychiatrist at Yale University who specializes in public health and violence prevention. She recently convened a conference that explored issues related to Donald Trump’s emotional health and how mental health professionals should respond to this crisis. The proceedings from this conference will be featured in a forthcoming book expected later this year.

    • bluicebank

      I expect it will conclude what is already public knowledge, that both Conservatives and Liberals are seeking psychological help in dealing with the angst (trauma) of Trump.

      Being misery, I come to Wonkette for the healing arts of humor and sarcasm.

    • David Chaillou

      There was a quote the other day, from one of his commencement addresses, that got me thinking. Where he tells the crowd something like: “see, mummy, I did not give up”.

      I’m not enough of a psy to see the implications through, but it for me wondering about what kind of little boy is hiding under all that blubber.

      • Dinz6315

        Trouble is, that little boy of 13 was already demonstrably a violent bully and hated authority. Still sad.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Jared is expendable. Jared is not a real Trump. Someone will roll over on Jared. It’s just how things are done…nothing personal.

    • calliecallie

      These people have watched The Godfather too many times.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    SPOILER ALERT: Neither Jared nor any of his ilk will spend a day in jail.

    • Rickyphoo

      Sad but true.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        IDK, they have pissed off enough law enforcement and intelligence that they make get some real shit on them.

        • Pat_Pending

          Yes, please.

    • Pat_Pending

      True. But at least they’ll be set on fire in The People’s Court.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      The Rude Pundit’s blog is my favorite. Did you read his eulogy of Jabba the Ailes? Holy cow, it was awesome!

      • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

        I’ve been following him for years.

    • Niblet58

      This is good news for Chris Christie, he hates this little shit with a white hot fire.

      • Weird Fishes

        Only Chris knows what’s best for Maximum Cheeto, shhhhh, shhh baby it will be all right. Chrissy and his night sack of cheeseburgers is here for you.

  • Pat_Pending

    Oh how FUN. This is the Little Man who got into Hahvahd with a 2.7 GPA and a 2 million donation from Daddy The Convict. Wheee!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      5, wasn’t it?

      • Pat_Pending

        Oh hell. You’re probably right. Yeesh.

  • Moar Wordz

    Jesus. 2.7 ?!?
    If I were Ivanka I’d ogle his skin 2. And his rock hard abs.
    I just wonder if, along with investigating colluding with Russia, we might take a peek at the Koch brothers influence on the current Prez, his administration, and his ties w/ Russia. Again.
    I was originally afraid to say that bcse I didn’t want to get assasinated.

    • bettycat

      Don’t drop the soap Jared, don’t ever drop the soap. And while your at it see if you can find one of your daddy’s old shanks, could come in handy. You see there are advantages of coming from a crime family.

    • Moar Wordz

      Some one replied ” Don’t pick up the soap, Jared.”
      Comment is gone now. Now matter how much I dislike the current admin., no one deserves.2.get raped.in Prison.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Gayer Than Thou

    Well this will certainly not generate any kind of anti-Semitic backlash from the Bannonites. (For the record, I am not defending Jared – just his abs.)

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      I have abs like that, they’re just covered in 2 inches of protective fat!

  • Trump will cut Jared loose, Jared will end up in his old man’s cell, and with him out of the way, Trump will sign an executive order legalizing daughter-marrying.

    • doggiedaddy

      Every fool with a TV show believes Papa Orange will defend Kid J to the bitter end, yet most commoners like moi feel that he’ll throw him to the wolves quicker than he can grab a pussy.
      http://img.wennermedia.com/480-width/donald-trump-ivanka-trump-hug-105b10eb-16d2-4086-9564-83856240f11c.gif

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        He’ll defend him until it comes down to Donald going to jail or Jared, then Donald will jettison Jared like a used Depends. Ivanka will wave goodbye and never think twice.

      • Pat_Pending

        Am I the only one who thinks he and Ivanka… y’know. And she’s emotionally stunted enough to be sort of ok with it. *shudder*

      • Dinz6315

        Still GROSS. EVERY. TIME.

        • rubikcube

          Especially the “Ooh, oh you..!” she gives…

    • BigCSouthside

      Lol the entire presidency of Donald trump is just an elaborate house of cards scheme so he can get in Ivankas pants

      • Rags

        Assumes physical capability not in evidence. Thank FSM.

  • Amycdoucette

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sn230c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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    • Stulexington

      Wow, Janet’s horde is growing, both in numbers and in ferocity. Pretty soon half this dickjoke factory’s non-comment section will be this stupid scammy post repeated again and again.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Indict.
    Impeach.
    Prison!

  • BigCSouthside

    The fact that Jared and Ivanka both got White House positions and no one in congress or anything raised holy hell over it is beyond me

    • Pat_Pending

      Oh, it might have something to do with the Mitch and Paul Show.

  • William
    • Pat_Pending

      I’ll drink to that!

  • PixieThis

    I’m thinking a remake of Caligula. Something like this – trump needs jared, but lusts for ivanka. At the first opportunity, jared is hung out to dry and trump and ivanka try to ride out the storm of malevolence and incompetence. Only to be thwarted finally and America recovers (over time) from their reign of terror. The horse in the Senate is played by paul ryan.

    • brittany

      I’ve got a good plot twist for that…Trump and Kushner are in Africa to praise some cool dictators for getting the job done really good on managing their fake lieberal news and stuff. They find out, while on a fun hunting trip, that they’re going to be arrested when they get back to the States, so they decide to ditch the secret service, and hide out in the BIGLIEST version of one of Trump’s favourite things to grab, but all does not go as planned…
      https://youtu.be/tXBniQqrp3U

      • BreakingDeadMen

        You know, I thought that movie was pretty funny. Definitely the best after Borat.

    • Dinz6315

      Not the whole horse, just the horse’s ass.

  • JoeChristmas

    ♫ ♬ Every grift begins with K… ♫ ♬

    • Johnny Appleseed

      “It’s Jared”!

  • rubikcube

    He won’t last long in prison, maybe he can hire Dax Shepard to teach some get tough tips.

  • britishvoiceman

    Probably inappropriate, considering he’s Jewish, but every time I see a photo of Jared, I imagine him in an SS uniform – he really makes me think of a young, good-looking Nazi!

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