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The absolute worst thing in the world is coming home from a double shift to find an eviction notice taped to your door. I swear there’s a secret training in which people are warned that it would be negligent to use anything less than half a roll of packing tape to paste up a humiliating paper for all the world to see, which leads you to spend the hour after you come home trying to scrape the fucking thing off the apartment or house that will only be yours for another few days.

In totally unrelated news, this.

“They put them [eviction notices] in the windows for everybody to see, to see your business. That’s not right. You don’t put people’s business out like that.”

I have usually been evicted for refusing to pay my rent, because I have a personal rule of only paying money to corporations in exchange for goods and/or services. But let me share the reasons I stopped paying: a utilities-included apartment’s utilities being shut off repeatedly for nonpayment, actual mushrooms growing through the living room carpet, a bathroom with no running water for three weeks instead of three days like the maintenance guys said, and once because my apartment was flooded feet high and became a hothouse for at least four different colors of mold. In every case the landlord said the apartments were livable, and even if they weren’t I still had to pay for the unit every month.

Oh, and when the apartment flooded, ruining everything I owned, I was eight months and three weeks pregnant. If you want to feel rage, pure and unadulterated, I suggest finding yourself homeless and with no possessions in the summer heat with a pissed-off fetus making sure you can never be comfortable and then being told by your landlord to your face that it was your fault there was a fucking storm to begin with. 

They began with the bedroom ceiling, which started leaking one day. Then maggots started coming out of the living-room carpet. Then raw sewage started flowing out of the kitchen sink.

Jared Kushner’s company sent her a $600 invoice for the carpet. When others got permission to move out early to avoid their ever-expanding rings of sewage and mold, Jared Kushner garnished their wages for money they didn’t owe.

This is entirely legal. See, you have to pay your landlord literally anything they ask you to in order to avoid eviction. Your legal remedy is to pay them whatever they ask, hire a lawyer, and have a court order them to repay you. And let me tell you, when I was working two fast-food jobs I was just ROLLING in spare lawyer money!

Slumlords count on the fact that most of their tenants don’t know real estate law and are frightened of courts. Even the classiest of slumlords, like Jared Kushner! That’s right, Mr. Real Estate couldn’t figure out how to do things like repair drywall and windows in the apartment complexes he bought (as a hedge against inflation, natch) and never bothered to fix. This sounds like a smaller thing than it is; if you’ve never lived with a six-foot hole in your bedroom ceiling that holds a growing family of rodents and then been charged over a grand and had the little bit of credit you’ve managed to build destroyed for “not reporting an infestation” despite your more than 30 documented complaints to not just your landlord but the health department and the HUD authorities, you’ve never lived!

“Every time I ask about drywall they say, ‘Oh, well, we only have one drywall person,’ ” Riggs told me. There was also black mold spreading around the bathtub, a large brown stain and crack on the wall adjacent to the stove and a gap in the bathroom skylight that allowed in rain and snow.

If you *do* speak to someone in authority or a position to help, the people who are on the other side of the business contract will come to intimidate you! “Westminster staff had scolded her for speaking with me and told her not to do so again,” says our New York Times reporter at the scene in Baltimore. And that’s also within their rights! Lots of shitty apartments tell you who you can and can’t have over, like that time a lease specified that I, a grown-ass woman, could not have overnight guests without prior written permission from management.

“That Jared Kushner?” Danny Jackson, a plumber in his 15th year living at Harbor Point Estates, exclaimed. “Oh, my God. And I thought he was the good one.”

“Our goal is to keep buying and incrementally growing — they’re good markets where you can get yield,” said Jared in a remark that would make pre-haunted Scrooge start yelling about the dignity of the proletariat. Poor people are a fucking hedge for Jared Kushner’s risk.

These fuckers, by which I mean the people who own and run absentee slumlord shops, have no souls. They name their collection agents “property managers” though the job rarely if ever involves the property itself. (The job is usually to make sure late or eviction notices are served, and to duck residents’ calls.) They are the hands of Wall Street; who the fuck else do you think threw Granny in Peoria out on the road after her pension fund collapsed? They revel in the shame, humiliation and fear of those they think beneath them and they’re boorish enough to make it part of their business plan.

Westminster was now after her for April’s rent, despite the fact that the company had literally barred her from being able to move before April, as she had intended. On April 25, a judge ruled that she needed to pay half of April’s rent, plus court costs: $471.

It ain’t hard to maintain a house. I know; I was a low-income renter for well over a decade so I’ve become a skilled handyman. I learned basic electric and plumbing work, drywall, and even once road maintenance when a bunch of tenants each bought a bag of concrete and patched the parking lot. I know how to install windows and that snap-together flooring, and how to replace a fridge coil. It’s a weird skillset for someone who’s always had a landlord to fix things! I shouldn’t know any of this shit!

I wrote a book about being poor. Housing got a whole chapter on its own, and that’s mostly just stories of shitty landlords. Point here is this is a story about Jared Kushner and his companies, but this time Jared gets no elevated status because he’s as run-of-the-mill as they come. Just another wannabe Donald Trump, buying properties with other people’s money but unable to manage them effectively because both his brain and his soul are the size of large plums.

I cannot wait until the time this whole Administration is having their jail reform epiphanies, which as we all know comes after any white-collar criminal does prison time. Suddenly they all understand scarcity and bad conditions! Here’s hoping they’re all sentenced to live in a Kushner property.

[NYT/Amazon]

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  • Mehmeisterjr

    Jared has another hobby in common with his Father-in-Law.

    Who knew?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Speaking of packing tape, what the entire fuck is Ivanka wearing? Is that from her Duck Tape Couture line?

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Ezio
  • “We have rats in the apartment”

    “You should’t tell me that because then you’ll have to go and also forfeit your deposit”

    “WHY?!?!”

    “You’re not allowed pets”

  • TJ Barke
  • Crank Tango
  • beatbort

    The more you know Jared the more you hate him, eh?
    Ivanka probably told him “Don’t be a slave to your tenants…be the master of them.”
    God, these people…

  • Oblios_Cap

    Being a homeowner ain’t always the greatest, but it is better than renting.

  • TJ Barke

    We can haz class war nao?

    • Crystalclear12

      Next paycheck. One more payment and that pitchfork is mine!

  • Crystalclear12

    There are no “good ones”.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You haven’t met my mom. Her tenants are paying the same rent they paid 20 years ago, and the houses are all in pretty good shape. They know they’ve got a sweet deal, so they do all the basic maintenance themselves, and only call when a fridge or water heater goes kaput or something.

      • Crystalclear12

        I was actually referring to the Trumps

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Oh, I’ll go along with that!

          Most of the folks I rented from in my renting days were pretty good. But my rent was always paid in full, on time.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Bob said it best….https://youtu.be/kOXKLQsmsvI

  • snark-lurker

    My kid in Boston says “deposits” are never returned there, never not ever.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • redarmyzombie

      That, is a fucking work of art right there…

  • Joe Beese

    I’m pretty sure that Leviticus – which, as an Orthodox Jew, he should treat as binding – exhorts the Israelites not to be fucking greedhead assholes.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yeah, but Ecclesiastes said it with fervor: “Fuck these greedy fuckheads and the fucking horse they fucking rode in on”….

      -It’s in the Toomush translation

    • snark-lurker

      This is business. Religion got nuttin to do with business. No profit in religion.

      • H0mer0

        [I’m assuming with a handle of snark-lurker that you are snarking about the absence of profit in religion?]

    • therblig

      separation of church and status.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • I used to be a (very small time) landlord. The first thing Mr Ferdzy and I did after we bought our building was take out the old electric water heaters and replace them with gas heaters. We figured they would pay for themselves in energy savings in 2 years; in fact they paid for themselves in 6 months. As a bonus, the hot water stopped running out. The building was just shy of 40 years old at that point.

    So for 40 years landlords had not spent the money upfront to replace those heaters so they could save money, because they preferred to pull as much money out every month as they could rather than more money in the future at a little cost now. They were in short, I’m sorry to say, typical landlords. For a group of people who derive income from their assets, they are amazingly reluctant to put anything back into said assets.

    In short, they are a microcosm of the whole human race, busy using up every resource there is with no thought for the future even as the future arrives, looking grimmer and grimmer every day. If people can’t see this truth about a single building I really despair for the state of the entire planet.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, that was pretty short sighted of them, but in places without hard water, an electric water heater can last thirty years, easy. It may have just been an inertia thing – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    This is EXACTLY why Donald loves him so much.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Even the Kushner’s cat…..which was trained by Donald Trump.

    http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201511_1446_affhe_sm.jpg

  • Chadwells

    Slum lords? Man…I fuck these assholes up good. Your neighborhood Housing Department (in LA….LAHD) is a law enforcement agency….they will kick in the door with a warrant if the manager refuses to let them in…and only after doing an exterior survey and citing them for every violation possible. City housing departments love to fuck over shitty landlords. I’ve lived in Philly, Chicago, Little Rock, NYC, Portland and LA….and they have ALL responded in kind when needed.

    It is 100% illegal to live without water for 3 weeks. That is insane. Who would go through that?

    Learn renters rights! They are there specifically for renters, hence the name. Also….learn the value of putting your rent in escrow until the landlord does what is required.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      LA/ NY……Tomato/potatoe?….

      • Chadwells

        yes?

    • KillerMartinis

      I’m sorry, did you just say that the New York City Housing Authority loves to respond to complaints about code violations in a timely and useful fashion?

      • Chadwells

        I inferred it based on my own experience. EXPERIENCES MAY VARY!!!!

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        I was going to say, NYC dwellings usually get… “special dispensation” *cough* because if someone ever brought the city up to code they’d have to dynamite half of it and declare it a superfund.

    • Well sure. But renters rights vary enormously from place to place. I used to hear horror stories about tenants completely trashing units before they moved out. A little questioning always traced these stories back to Alberta, where it is legal to evict tenants with 24 hours notice. HUH. Strange, that.

      We did okay with the local landlord-tenant tribunal, but I was in a mid sized city meaning sufficient resources, not overwhelmed. You get into a bigger city, and the system tends to be overwhelmed. You get into smaller places, and it tends not to exist.

      • Chadwells

        I can’t speak to Canada. Also, I was a contractor for like 10 years and I am very familiar with US building code and so on. Helps when I start barking about inspection stages with major repairs in my unit.

        Managers and landlords here depend on the ignorance of their tenants. Only once have I been pushed to pull a lawsuit only to have the management back down once they were served.

        • C4TWOMAN

          The “management” model is really too dependent on “what can we get away with”. I know this is small potatoes, but I had an obnoxious neighbor above me. Everyone else was fine. They thought 3am was a lovely time to have guests over and crank their stereo, among other things.

          I withheld my rent until the situation as sorted. i remember one rep leaving a message, very civilly explaining I can’t do that–except I just did, lady. It was the only thing that worked. That and the knowledge I was documenting everything.

          I don’t pay to have a glorified storage unit(I was sleeping at friend’s house to get sleep). That was the place I left spotless and took pics when I moved; didn’t want anyone to claim I was the troublemaker.

          Also too, we have pretty good landlord tenant laws. It was one of those vintage studios where most people were retired and deaf or students who weren’t there more than a couple years.

          • Chadwells

            Management has one directive from the owner….collect money, do not spend money. It’s the same everywhere I have lived.

            I live in the Fairfax district of LA which is rent controlled. A lot of buildings are lath and plaster from the 30’s-50’s that still have knob and tube wiring. These places are all tax shelters for Israelis.

            Fighting these idiots does not go quickly….my last fight took me 9 months…but when you finally kick their asses…it feels wonderful!! And they seriously don’t want to mess with you again!

        • Well I think that large city/small town dynamic tends to apply anywhere.

          I also have to say, it’s fine to know your rights as a renter (you definitely should!) but fighting asshole landlords can amount to a full time job, if they are sufficiently assholey. Nobody needs that stress.

          I’d also like to gently suggest that it sounds like you have more resources available than the average tenant. Starting with more flexible hours as a contractor and going from there.

          • Chadwells

            You have me there. I do have resources….but all those resources don’t amount to anything if you don’t know your rights.

            I have not actually spent any money in my many fights with landlords. It does take a ton of time….but I look hard for the places I choose to occupy and I fight tooth and nail to keep them once I’m in. A wife, myself and 4 huge dogs (dogs being the main issue) renting in LA is not an easy task…or a cheap one.

            I spent 9 months fighting my current landlord….it f-ing sucked and stressed me out. I’ve now been there 10 years and the time after said battle has been nothing short of wonderful. IMHO….well worth the 9 month fight.

    • proudgrampa

      Gee. Renting sounds like fun! Almost makes me want to do that again, just for the skull fuckery.

      • Chadwells

        I love it. As a former contractor…I dread the idea of owning. Foolish? Probably. Just seems like having an unnecessary second job to me!

        • proudgrampa

          There is little to be said about the “joys” of home ownership.

    • Marsupial99

      Damn right! See my comment above about California tenant law. Courts have finally learned out here what some of these landlords try to pull! (Exceptions, of course…)

      • Chadwells

        For real!! I live in the Fairfax area and the management companies for all those rent controlled places are just downright evil!!! I have gotten so many eviction notices that they make me laugh now!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    That’s right, Mr. Real Estate couldn’t figure out how to do things like repair drywall and windows in the apartment complexes he bought

    It didn’t occur to him to hire a subcontractor to do those things, and then refuse to pay due to some trumped-up (heh heh) excuse? Guess Jared still has some things to learn from Donald after all.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Here’s hoping they’re all sentenced to live in a Kushner property.

    And yet he would complain his Eighth Amendment rights would be violated if we did that.

    • snark-lurker

      There ain’t no justice in the world.

  • proudgrampa

    The Ninth Circle of Hell will take Kushner as a tenant.

  • Proud Liberal

    I don’t know how people like the Kushners and Trumps fucking live with themselves!

    • proudgrampa

      It’s easy when you live without a conscience.

    • Michael Smith

      They think everyone does what they do. Or that they would if they could.

  • I’ve just finished reading “The Hidden Injuries of Class”, an academic work from 1972, and will follow it up with the just ordered “Hand to Mouth, Living in Bootstrap America”.

    To Jared and his ilk I will paraphrase Nancy Sinatra, out of context even, “One of these days these bootstraps are gonna walk all over you!”

  • Crystalclear12
    • redarmyzombie

      Oh god, anything that will make that bastard’s life miserable, please…

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Nah. Knowing Trump and his lawyers, he probably has an airtight and ridiculously rigid prenup with Melania. She would lose custody, all her money, comfort, status, and gain nothing but a one-way ticket back to Slovenia.

      • therblig

        as if that wouldn’t be worth it.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          True, but she’d be there for about a day before Putin’s welcoming party takes her on a Prague Defenestration Tour.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Oh, I think her story could be worth something to the FAKE MEDIA!….

      • MynameisBlarney

        Who would sign such a thing?

      • subatomic

        But perhaps she knows where bodies are buried.

  • puredog

    Teh Wonkette should ALWAYS publish the uncropped version of that photo that shows Classy Jared groping Ivanka’s ass.
    http://www.advocate.com/sites/advocate.com/files/2017/01/28/screen_shot_2017-01-28_at_11.48.01_pm.png

    • therblig

      soulless, classless scum

    • schmannity

      Jared had to do it so Donald can smell his hand.

    • Suttree

      I grab Lizzie’s ass when we are walking down the street, but no one is taking a picture. Nor are we advisors to the prez.

  • elviouslyqueer

    True story. Right around the time I met my hubs, I was living in a very cute upstairs apartment in Midtown Memphis. I knew that my landlords/”property managers” were taking care of the building for a notorious slumlord, but they liked me and tried to take care of me as best they could (I had also just been diagnosed with cancer for the second time in two years, so there was that). Then in the middle of July, my only air conditioner (which came WITH the apartment) completely quit and, rather than replacing it, I was told that the property owner wouldn’t give me a new one because “tenants were responsible for providing their own air conditioner.” Never mind that there was already one in the apartment when I moved in. It wasn’t my fault that the AC died; air conditioners tend to do that from time to time. So for three solid weeks (in July IN MEMPHIS), I went back and forth with the property managers, who tried to reason with the slumlord that I was a good tenant who NEEDED A FUCKING AIR CONDITIONER. Finally, I was blessed with a replacement AC that they apparently pulled from the back corner of Fred Sanford’s junk store, and then promptly saw my rent jacked up $200 (under the guise of calling it a “convenience charge”).

    Fuckers. I was never so happy when I drove down the street not long after and saw that the management company’s offices had burned down, probably due to some other pissed off tenant who wasn’t as nice as me.

    • TJ Barke

      “I was never so happy when I drove down the street not long after and saw that the management company’s offices had burned down, probably due to some other pissed off tenant who wasn’t as nice as me.”
      Sure, whatever you say…

      • elviouslyqueer

        “I’m nice. But shit happens.”

      • C4TWOMAN

        *wink wink*

        Say no more….

        • Suttree

          Nudge, nudge……

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCiYmCVikjo

    LYNCHING politicians you disagree with is all the rage these days!

    • TJ Barke

      Already posted it.

  • dslindc

    Just another wannabe Donald Trump, buying properties with other people’s money but unable to manage them effectively because both his brain and his soul are the size of large plums.

    Large plum libelz!

    • redarmyzombie

      Seriously, my plum tree deserves better than that…

    • Jim Johnson

      Large plums?

    • Suttree

      As a child I used to go with my Baka to her Croatian neighbors down the street to pick small plums off of their tree. We made plum dumplings with them. Great memories from being 7? years old.

  • Vicious Babushka

    I got scolded on the Twitters yesterday by some indignant people who were impressed by Ivanka’s fashion show catwalk at the Western Wall, for not admiring Mrs.Kushner’s fashy fascinator that made her look like a 1940’s war madchen. HOW CRUDE!! WHO WAS I TO QUESTION HER DEVOTION.

    Prophet Isaiah & Mr. Jesus also questioned the devotion of the likes of Jared & Ivanka. You can read about it in that big old “Bible” thing that right-wingers claim to love so much.

    • laughingnome

      The prophet Isaiah condemned the hypocrisy of his day: “The Lord says, ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men’” (Isaiah 29:13). Centuries later, Jesus quoted this verse, aiming the same condemnation at the religious leaders of His day (Matthew 15:8-9). John the Baptist refused to give hypocrites a pass, telling them to produce “fruits worthy of repentance” (Luke 3:8). Jesus took an equally staunch stand against sanctimony—He called hypocrites “wolves in sheep’s clothing” (Matthew 7:15), “whitewashed tombs” (Matthew 23:27), “snakes,” and “brood of vipers” (Matthew 23:33).

      • schmannity

        What about Adam Smith Jesus?

        • laughingnome

          His hand is invisible so he can grab em without them seeing it.

    • Dave D

      As much as I loathe these two scumbags, as a Jew I feel it’s uncouth to apply the Man from Nazareth’s preaching in pointing out the hypocrisy of how they treat the poor and downtrodden. There’s plenty to knock Jared and Ivanka for without having to dip into the New Testament.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Wasn’t the big deal the fact that she covered her head in Israel and not in Saudi Arabia? I mean you have to follow the right religious rules to make the right political message.

  • Michael Smith

    “unable to manage them effectively”

    May be giving them too much credit. Unwilling. When you see owning an apartment building as the same as growing turnips, you want to spend as little as possible, which often means leaving the apartments barely livable – as long as it doesn’t violate the low standard of the implied warranty of habitability.

    This may seem odd, since the landlords are perfectly willing to spend money on lawyers and collections agencies rather than on improving the conditions that make the former necessary. But their attitude is that most people will be cowed by their relative social position and won’t resist. Those that do must be snuffed out and hard, to set an example.

    Usually it isn’t illegal. But it should be.

    • redarmyzombie

      i’m gonna be honest, anytime my family grows crops, I treat those fuckers like they’re fucking people.

      What the fuck is wrong with these shitheads? This isn’t fucking hard to treat people with fucking decency and respect…

      • Suttree

        The last time I grew anything, it was cherry/grape tomatoes and a few different types of spicy peppers in pots. I checked in them every day and caressed them. Pull any leaves that didn’t look healthy, and sat outside and kept them company while listening to short wave radio from around them world. They seemed to like it.

    • Certified Green Bastard

      The peeps I know growing turnips/whatever are lovingly tending em. Farming’s careful work. These fucks are treating people’s homes & lives as stocks to be bought up, shorted & sold off for profit.

    • Suttree

      Cost/benefit analysis.

    • Suttree

      Now I feel bad about constantly referring to rump as Turnip.Turnips are tasty and useful. In my defense Trump is just as smart as a turnip though, so I will continue to use that as his name.

  • redarmyzombie

    Aw jeez, I ain’t religious, but I could hear Satan cracking his knuckles as I read this…

  • The Wanderer

    OT, but I had been wondering what would be a decent tipple for the Memorial Day weekend, and I hit upon sangria.

    This isn’t made with red wine, as I had none in the cabinet; instead it uses two bottles of (gag!) pink Zinfandel, along with fruit, sugar and a cup of rum.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2247167e17e6a575e12bec0bb7272d12656c2b3b708359f9a231b618c1e6615.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      That sounds like a brutal hangover in the making.

      • The Wanderer

        Yes! Yes, it does! But it’s got plenty of vitamins!

        • MynameisBlarney

          Vitamin P?

          • The Wanderer

            No, C. There’s two lemons, two limes, and an orange swimming about in there.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Sorry, I mean Vitamin Pee.

          • The Wanderer

            LOL
            Well, yes.

    • proudgrampa

      Good luck with that!

      You just might wanna run down to the liquor store before it closes…

      • The Wanderer

        Nah, I got plenty of other drink in the bar.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          As long as you are experimenting…You might think about throwing a bottle of club soda in there. Won’t cut the alcohol but will give it a bit more of a fun character.

          • The Wanderer

            I might do that, add a spritz to it before serving.
            A coworker suggested the following cocktail: Jameson’s Irish Whiskey, lime juice, and ginger ale. Quite tasty.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That is tasty, but hold the lime juice and the ginger ale.

          • The Wanderer

            Jameson’s is good straight, yes. I also make Irish whiskey cakes with it.

          • proudgrampa

            You, sir, are a man after mine own heart…

          • NastyBossetti

            shit. shoulda read down a comment or two before posting the exact same thing.

          • proudgrampa

            It’s OK… Blarney had it right, and we both agreed! Cheers!

          • NastyBossetti

            A man after my own heart!

          • OrdinaryJoe

            That is the Irish relative of the Moscow Mule, called an Irish Buck.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      I love Sangria, but to echo Blarney – it don’t love me back….

      • The Wanderer

        I plan on drinking sparingly. I’ve had hangovers before, and they are to be avoided.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          Smart man. :) I adore the flavor of Sangria.

          • The Wanderer

            Worst hangover I ever had involved plum wine, sake, brandy, rum & Coke, wine coolers, and a comely young lass.

            To this day I still don’t know how I got home, but there were no blood stains or dents on the car.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Wow. I haven’t had a hangover in years, and I stopped Jeremiah Weed. That shit will F’ you Up.

            I like a great Margarita on my birthday, but I’ve been on a diet so no alcohol since New Year’s Eve.

      • Suttree

        I used to go to the same bar in Newark 6 days a week after pulling 10 hour shifts doing ironwork. After a couple of beers and a couple of shots of Jager, I would move on to the sangria. They always have gallons of it prepared. I told them not to put the fruit in because it took up valuable booze space.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        All depends on what wine you use. Don’t use anything too cheap or that you wouldn’t willingly drink on its own and *generally speaking* you’ll be mostly okay.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          Ima lightweight-Cheap Date, honestly. Even decent wine in it and Ima feeling it.

    • Suttree

      1. Does it contain booze?
      2. Yes, it is perfect for Memorial Day.

      I actually like white wine sangria also, and the fruit witll take care of the pink Zinfandel flavor.

      • The Wanderer

        I took a taste before relegating it to the fridge. Nice sweet/tart balance.

        • Suttree

          Nice. I really think that you can use pretty much any sort of wine besides Mad Dog 20/20 for sangria. :)

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Pure water……………or grain alcohol…………..

      • The Wanderer

        I’ll add ice to the glass before pouring out a tot.

    • msanthropesmr

      I think you’ve discovered the recipe to Boones farm.

      • The Wanderer

        LOL
        Dear Yog-Sothoth, I hated that shit.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Even as a teenager that crap was NAST.

          • The Wanderer

            I had to drive my little brother and his GF home from a party one night (he was in high school at the time). They were both ralfing drunk on Hawaiian Punch and Everclear.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            It’s a hard lesson that must be learned – Hawaiian Punch and others of its ilk do not a mixer make. I learned the hard way with kool-aid and vodka.
            And everclear??? Little brother’s lucky he’s not dead.

        • Persistent Demme

          Middle school libel!!!!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      My preferred recipe: 2 bottles of red, 1 bottle of white, a 2L of grapefruit soda (Canfield’s 50/50 if you can get it, but Squirt works), a bottle of orange juice, 1 cup of brandy.
      I often don’t bother with the fruit because as Suttree noted, it just takes up space. But if you do, steep it overnight and don’t eat too much of it.

      • Persistent Demme

        We had a party once, and made sangria.
        Everyone got totally bombed because they thought it was mostly fruit juice with a little kick. (Sorry.)
        Uh, no.
        Sangria packs a serious punch.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          It goes down so nice and easy! I hosted a party like that once, ever since I tell everyone exactly what’s in it (I like to share recipes anyway) and ask them to spread the word in case I miss any guests who are partaking.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Oh yeah, mix everything the night before except the soda, add that when it’s time to serve so you don’t lose your bubbles.

  • Suttree

    Gosh, it’s almost like it runs in the family.

    • kaydenpat

      You think?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    That header photo. Ivanka had almost, but not-quite achieved a human expression there. Commander Data had a less-creepy smile before he got the emotion chip. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/915aab6fed916771e1484cd71c9c5cfff2981e2cd88a26bbce2b595acea38d65.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      After the emotion chip was installed, Data had a minor problem with it that made him smile or even laugh at the misfortune of others.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Balderdash!
        That’s what we call Gallow’s Humor!

        • The Wanderer

          Dr. Soong called it the Schadenfreude Subroutine.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Yeah. I’m not over-fond of the TNG movies, but TNG is my favorite of the TV series.

        • The Wanderer

          Yes, it wasn’t bad at all (after about midway through the first season).

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Yeah. xD Hoo, some of that first season was stinky. When TNG was good, it was Awesome, but when it was bad, it was Horrid!

          • The Wanderer

            Every ST series had at least one episode that should have been strangled at birth.

          • therblig

            i give you S1 E4 – Code of Honor. That ST TNG survived it, is a testament to its greatness.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_of_Honor_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Yeah. Roddenberry had to fire the director for racism/

          • SisterArtemis

            ST original flavor and TNG both took a while to “gel.” When they did DS9 and Voyager, they got the mix right in the pilots (in terms of plot, chemistry of the actors, etc.) so they must have learned a few things along the way.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Yeah. DS9 is the best pilot, IMHO. The VOY pilot cost more in constant dollars than did “The Wrath of Khan”, but it was worth it.

          • marxalot

            DS9 was my fave, because it answered the question I was constantly asking: what about the people who don’t go trekking about the galaxy, and just have to live with each other? How does this society work? I loved it.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I adore DS9, the arc was amazing, and the characters are some of my most loved. As much as I will always love Deanna and Beverly, they had “traditional” female roles of healer/counselor/mother, where Kira and Dax were asskicking Action Grrls. And Ben Sisko is a fucking Badass.

            You know why USS Defiant has that name? Starfleet told Sisko there just wasn’t room to paint USS Ben Sisko’s Motherfucking Pimp Hand.

      • Begin Anew Day

        What you call a “minor problem” is the actual fulfillment of The American Dream to many others.

    • kaydenpat

      And Data was always a decent being unlike Ivanka, the Fake Trump Whisperer.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Indeed. I’ve always loved Data, but his arc has even more meaning since I’ve begun to Transition. :)

    • Suttree

      Looks more like Jared to me.

  • Marsupial99

    It’s a bit tougher to pull that slumlord shit in California. Just about anyone with a couple of hours worth of research can beat back an eviction for a while — providing you don’t mind running to the courthouse on a moment’s notice when the LL tries to pull a shady court maneuver, and you’re not afraid to talk to judges. (I beat our last shitweasel LL out of six months free rent for the crap they pulled on us.)

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Also, there’s a lot more interest in landlord accountability, although this can be a double edged sword. I’ve seen poor families complain about conditions to the government only to get a 72 hour notice from the government to vacate the property -because of unsafe housing.
      I do work for a city that had a rental inspection program. It made a difference. It’s too bad cities like Baltimore don’t care.

  • schmannity
  • Michael R
  • kaydenpat

    Why am I not surprised that Kushner is a slumlord? Just another horrible attribute for a horrible human being.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    As a renter, I am so thankful to live in Chicago where we have a tenant’s-rights friendly (i.e., humane) RLTO. And yet I still heard countless horror stories whIle volunteering at a no-cost/low-cost legal aid agency because there are landlords who prey on those who don’t know their rights, sometimes can’t even read the standard boilerplate clauses that are required to be included in every Chicago lease though sometimes (illegally) aren’t included, and they live in those horrifying conditions because they can’t afford any place else, much less a lawyer.
    Sick fucks make me wish I believed in hell, like the very nastiest and most imaginative bits of Dante’s Inferno.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Make them live in their buildings for a few thousand years. The imps in maintenance will be right on that.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Too good for them.

  • schmannity

    No evictions from sundown Friday till sundown Saturday.

  • Ilgattomorte

    Thank God we have Jared and Ivanka acting as a moderating influence on our President. Can’t you just smell the empathy? Yep. You can almost taste the humanity.

    • therblig

      “And there’s the odd whiff of betrayal, we must do something about that.” – Harry Perkins

    • calliecallie

      It tastes like soylent green.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Ivanka’s got that pretty blonde hair and CNN says she’s the good one because she smiled at their table one time at a rich people restaurant probably.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Can it be possible?

    Does donnie dote on his son-in-law because Jared makes donnie look….good?

    Awwwww! What’s wrong with me?!! How do these crazy ideas come about? That cannot be the reason!

    Far more likely is that donnie loves Jared because then he can enjoy some vicarious incest with a guy who has slipped it to Ivanka.

  • Jenny

    I feel like maybe well taken care of properties have some value in the long run.

    Then again, I’m not a rich slumlord so what do I know?

    • They do have value once the neighborhood starts to gentrify. That’s when you really let building conditions go to hell to force the people to move out so you can convert the building to condos to sell to affluent white folks.

  • Sounds like someone took the Goodfellas Management Seminar: “Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me.”

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      At least you can find comfort in the consistency.

  • HazooToo
    • The Wanderer

      BWAHAHAHAHA!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’ve never seen any indication at all that those two even like each other. It looks like from the gif he was trying to lean on her.

      • Claire

        Maybe she was hoping that if she pulled away at just the right moment he’d take a header down the stairs.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Doddering old man about to fall down the stairs?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Melania: “Have a nice trip! See you next Fall!”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You cropped out the BEST PART of that picture!!
    Literal assgrabby Jared.
    http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Ivanka-jared.jpg

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Takes after her old man.

  • memzilla Ω

    Here’s a NYC landlord story.

    Place where I’ve lived for 20 years. Landlord wants to sell the building. Twelve other tenants take his pissant offer of $1500 and rent forgiveness. I decline the offer, I’m current on rent. Offer is upped to $2000. Yeah, no.

    At the same time, landlord tries to pull a Kushner. Landlord takes the contract he has with Party A and shops for a better deal from Party B. Sells two buildings to Party B.

    Party A objects.

    I find out that Party A is suing the landlord and Party B. My strategy is to dig in like a tick. Who am I supposed to pay rent to? ESCROW, THAT’s WHO.

    We’ll skip forward, past the harassment, the shutting of utilites, the Mexican day laborers he moved in against the order of the court, the illegal contruction, the ignored citations from HPD and DoB — all of which were meticulously photographed, documented, and reported to the HPD and DoB by the complaints I originated, the seven NYPD police cars that responded to my 911 call about the super assaulting me for alleged criminal trespass, the not guilty decision on my trespass charge by the court, the HPD hearing where the judge said one sentence: “Do you have the money?” to which I replied “I have the check right here, Your Honor,” which deflated the shit out of the landlord, the ten times I showed up in suit and tie at the Manhattan Civil Supreme proceedings between the landlord and Parties A and B and the cross-suit between the landlord and Party B — just to let them know that I knew what the game was, the grudging acceptance of the landlord that he’s gonna have to do the right thing because I can’t be intimidated because I’m undocumented or can’t pay the rent — yeah, we’ll skip past that part to the end:

    1. $25K settlement to yours truly from Party A.
    2. The satisfaction of knowing my scumbag landlord has had to spend over $500K in legal fees to defend his ratfuckery and STILL had to sell the two buildings to Party A because what part of “contract” don’t you understand?
    3. Scumbag landlord is STILL in costly litigation with Party B, NINE YEARS LATER, about who induced whom to do the worse ratfuckery.
    4. The exposure of Party B as ratfuckers who have a history of doing this shit, which has definitely cramped their style in staying hidden and not only exposed other times they’ve tried this, but attempts to try and do it again.

    Fuck ’em.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      You *Go*. :D

    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah, rent escrow is where it’s at.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      NYC real estate is a heartless, soulless morass of greed, exploitation and short-sighted fuckery.

      A friend of mine in the East Village is going through much the same thing right now: landlord in legal trouble with multiple bankruptcies, defaulting on sales, moving in frat boys (the very worst neighbors), no maintenance, unsafe living conditions, illegal construction, and no one knows where to send the rent check for the privilege of living under these conditions, etc.

      I sure hope it works out for her – it’s been a few years of hell.

  • natoslug

    Why is the poor starving blonde girl wrapped in tin foil?

    • snark-lurker

      you mean that bottle blond?

      • natoslug

        Yes, the bottle with the blonde mop.

    • The Wanderer

      To make her galvanic skin response go through the roof.

      • natoslug

        Okay, good. I thought it was to protect her breasts and down-theres from the mind control rays, which I’d hope someone would have explained is not how it works.

    • proudgrampa

      Well, there is a recipe for ribs in foil.

      Just sayin’.

      EAT THE RICH!

      • natoslug

        Looks like mainly gristle.

      • The Wanderer

        Meat’s too lean. You’d have to add fat to it before showing it to the flames.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      She’s the Jiffy Pop Queen?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Because, Fashion Victim.

    • timpundit

      Keeps the juices inside making the meat flavorful and tender.

    • Three Finger Salute

      She got the dress from the Alex Jones collection?

    • shastakoala

      She ran out of Saran wrap?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Jared needs to rot in a cell forever.

    • The Wanderer

      Next door to Donnie.

    • proudgrampa

      Not long enough…

    • marxalot

      Can it be in one of his buildings tho.

  • The Wanderer

    A story was related once about an architect for a ten-story block of flats in Moscow, who designed a building without elevators or stairs. The building was erected before anyone noticed the minor flaw.
    True to the spirit of revolutionary justice, the Soviet court sentenced the architect to ten years – on the tenth floor.

  • La forza del resistino

    Never saw myself having a career in the esthetician biz until now. The thought of plucking Jared’s eyebrows with a crescent wrench seems rewarding.

  • therblig

    kushner just walked away from a project here in jersey city because after their EB5 sales pitch, the Mayor decided they shouldn’t be getting a tax break. poor babies.

  • marxalot

    The landlord is the natural enemy of humankid. The slumlord doubly so.

  • shastakoala

    I remember the joyous day my daughter in her ninth month called me and told me was being evicted, tomorrow! Long story shorter, I got to live with a beautiful momma and newborn until she could get back on her feet. Most are not so fortunate. Now I think I’m gonna cry.

    • jesterpunk

      I was lucky enough to have my mom let me move back in when I was evicted when I was younger. The apartment had no heat or hot water all winter and the landlord scheduled the court hearing for a day it would be warm enough out so you didnt need heat. I was lucky enough to have my mom call them and promise them money if they let me get my stuff out then we never paid them. Having parents that can and will help you when you need it is a great thing.

  • Crystalclear12
    • kareemachan

      Angie’s List is the WORST. Evidently she will prostitute herself for anybody’s money, including BO’Re and No-waterboarding-for-me Inanity.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Tiger’s blood level of winning.

    “Carrier plant that Trump saved will lay off hundreds right before Christmas: report”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/334770-carrier-plant-that-trump-saved-will-lay-off-hundreds-right-before

    • The Wanderer

      Yay! Winning!

    • jesterpunk

      Sounds like a win for carrier, they still get to keep the free money from the state and can fire people right before christmas.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • RugzYaBurnt

    *Stares at Ivanka’s corrugated aluminum frock*: Explain to me why this woman is permitted to “design” her own “fashion” line, again?

    • marxalot

      Daddy money. Daddy models.

      • RugzYaBurnt

        I’m frankly surprised Daddy hasn’t been pushing her to develop a Jr. Misses line of clothing. Melania’s expiration date is nearing and he’s going to be in need of a new model soon.

    • jesterpunk

      She chose to be born rich?

    • Marsupial99

      She can design all she wants. It doesn’t appear that anyone’s buying it.

      • suziq

        Actually I heard sales are way up since she “stepped down” from running it. Or whatever she pretended to do. In other words, she is making more money than ever.

        • Marsupial99

          Well, shit.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Like father-in-law, like son-in-law. Maria ain’t having this shit.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FeyDm4vrFo

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I’ve already ranted on this site about how Jared Kushner is helping to ruin the formerly-vibrant East Village, but it’s always worth another chorus.

    http://gothamist.com/2016/03/30/jared_kushner_not_good.php

  • Anna Rompage

    You mean another wealthy person has gotten rich by fucking over the poors, and they happen to be Trumps son-in-law, and his primary advisor? Say it ain’t so BooBoo…

  • Msgr_MΩment

    OT/FFS:
    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/may/23/oan-offers-100k-reward-for-details-leading-to-arre/One America News Network offers $100k reward for details leading to arrest of Seth Rich’s killer [and bringing Hillary to justice!]

    • snark-lurker

      So if it is not HRC there is no reward?

      • theblackdog

        What if it’s her death squad? Do we get partial rewards?

    • MynameisBlarney

      404’d.

    • jesterpunk

      Link is broken but they should also be sued by the family along with Hannity and Fox.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Truth Time.

    My dad was an old school, red hating, flag waving war hero. He aspired to be a slumlord so he could become part of the class that gave the orders. I was press ganged into the clean-up, painting, furniture moving and lawn care crew when I was eleven. When I turned 18 I went to college and never returned.

    When my father died I did not shed a tear. I had seen, heard and felt too many wrong things for a child to have to bear.

    Mothers! Do Not Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Landlords!

    • Did you get paid?

      • Begin Anew Day

        James Baby! You Know I didn’t.

  • anwisok
    • MynameisBlarney

      Flagged for excessive Squee content!

      • Sandylgrothe

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    • theblackdog

      *sees the otters* oh look! A quartet of adorable troublemakers

    • Sekhmet1

      Thank you. I needed that.*

      *All serious, no snark

    • ThunderCat

      I have some eye-bleach, too! Today is Thunder’s 10 year Gotcha Day (when I adopted/rescued him from my asshole neighbor) … then and now:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fce60d5af5fb35e758bfc5edbbad9dde489bb11e8a4a4bfafda2dd2f5ccab4e1.jpg

      • miss_grundy

        Thanks for the rescue!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      “When the history of this time is written… there will only be two sides: patriots and partisans.”

      Amen.

  • weejee

    Would it be kosher to mention tRump’s visit to the Wailing Wall?

    • Three Finger Salute

      He was inspecting it to see if it was biglier and awesomer than the yuge wall he wants to build with Mexico. Next he’ll go to Shina, because his wall is gonna be great, and after that, ask Merkel if he can borrow that one from Berlin that they’re not using anymore.

  • I’m guessing before 2026, we should be able to
    drive around town, look out the windows and play the game of OH LOOK ANOTHER TRUMP VOTER…
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/eviction.jpg

  • Ivanka, when your dad said he wanted to date you, he didn’t mean it metaphorically.

  • And you horny assholes thought he was ADORABLE!

  • wait! what?

    Tangentially:

    Chicago is pretty fair. You get served a notice to appear in court, where you can appeal. The judge will rule and set an order for possesion date if things go against you. There’s an eviction list on-line, that lists evictions by date/zipcode, a day or two before they happen. If you’re home when they come to get possesion of the property you get served papers and the sheriff gives you a few minutes to pack up and leave. If you’re not home a neon-green no-trespassing sign goes on the door, and the locks are changed. You have a finite amount of time to contact the landlord to arrange getting your property back before it gets thrown away. Animal Control will come out and remove any pets that have been abandoned.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Chicago also has really responsive tenants unions in most neighborhoods.

  • Jennaratrix

    Why is Ivanka wearing a dress made of aluminum foil? Can’t she afford something nice?

    Oh, I know. We aren’t supposed to comment on how people look, especially women, and especially when there are plenty of legitimate issues to ding the Trumps on. But FFS, she’s supposedly a “designer” with more money than god. Surely she can look presentable.

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s mylar, that was hand spun by 1000 Chinese children laborers…

      • Marsupial99

        Mixed with their tears.

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          Well, of course. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be shiny.

    • Persistent Demme

      You mean that picture doesn’t say “modest orthodox Jew” to you?
      I think the whole orthodox thing is a scam.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it’s just another way to get clients.

        like the country club scam….rich people don’t need golf courses and tennis courts but they apparently do need a place to meet other wealthy people to make more money for themselves.

        if we were smart, and more importantly, motivated enough, we would be stringing them up.

      • Portia McGonagal

        Best quote from yesterday’s Western Wall visit photo op: “Instagram Judaism”.

        Me, I’m an atheist so don’t care what she wears except for the fact that she keeps touting her Orthodox Judaism and dressing not so much like any Orthodox woman I’ve ever known.

        • The Wanderer

          Trump was wearing his yarmulke backwards!

          • h4rr4r

            On his chin?

          • H0mer0

            an old Mad magazine letter to the editor was from a kid thanking the magazine for the idea of making yarmulkes out of his sister’s training bras: “I always wanted one with a chin strap!”

          • Doug Langley

            Strange – for a moment, I was actually surprised.

        • Lambsendbeds

          IK,R? I was under the impression that Orthodox Jewish women were supposed to dress modestly, instead of covering Madonna’s cone bra with Reynold’s Wrap.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

        Oh great. You just know she’s going to get away and blow out a transformer somewhere.

    • Lily412

      In this case, I would say the criticism is more of the dress than Ivanka’s looks. And I was also wondering about that dress. It’s like embroidered, but also shiny and smooth..? Is it made of plastic? WHAT IS REALITY?!

      • Grumpy Twat

        I, too, saw that dress and thought, WTF?
        Duck tape, IMHO

    • DainBramage

      She’s just guarding against Daddy’s X-ray specs.

    • jodyleek

      God only knows why a woman with unlimited cash would choose to look like a fucking Jiffy Pop popcorn.

    • Doug Langley

      The rest of us can only afford tinfoil hats. She can afford the whole enchilada.

    • JustDon’tSaySurety
      • Lambsendbeds

        It’s always time for,Weird Al !

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      You can’t buy good taste. Obviously.

    • theCryptofishist

      Just be grateful that they cropped the picture so we don’t have to see the reflection of Jared’s hand on her ass.

  • theblackdog

    I thought AIMCO apartments were terrible but these issues pale in comparison to mine.

  • Blackest Noobs

    of course he is….him and Trump, just like peas in a fucking pod.

    • Rick Hill

      I tell you, this is what the children of the rich learn in college. How to maximize profits regardless of morality or origin. They would literally take the last dime you have and throw you in the streets that they don’t want to pay taxes to maintain and definitely don’t want to give any benefits to you

      • Blackest Noobs

        oh definitely….years ago Spy Magazine loved….LOVED busting on Donald J. Trump’s tiny balls….he was one of the few peeps who cashed in a check for something like .15 cents…the only other person to do that was i think an Arm Dealer or small country dictator or both…..it was the 90’s so it’s been awhile…

        • Cliff Hendroval

          It was a nice schtick. They’d send small dollar amount checks drawn on anonymous-sounding accounts to the rich and famous and see who’d cash them. They kept sending ever-smaller checks to the people who cashed them. The last one was for .15 and the only people who cashed them were Lord Dampnut and Adnan Khashoggi, the Saudi arms dealer.

  • MOG253

    Sadly white collar criminals get treated very differently from your average drug dealer. Even though they cause so much more harm.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I know of at least one tenant we need to evict. Plus too also said tenant is definitely not getting his deposit back.

  • DainBramage

    Sadly, judges can’t sentence him to live in his own slum, subsisting on a minimum wage job.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      That’s karma’s job.

  • whitroth

    Y’know, there’s a reason that Superman is known around the world, and why it happened so fast, back in the thirties and forties. For example… I have a collection of the first few years from the daily comic strips. I am not shitting you, one “adventure” is where Superman takes on a fucking slumlord.

    Btw, the routine I always heard was that you open an escrow account, and put the rent into that. Then talk to the health dept, and you know you can file court cases for yourself. In some places, the local Bar assn has pro-bono lawyers for advice.

    I hope their soon-to-come accomadations… in adjoining cells, will suit them… since it fucking well will suit us for them to be there.

  • Shoto

    Rare footage of Jared Kushner speaking about his businesses.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SsFME-MTiA

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I was never a big fan of Gilbert Gottfried (sp?) but I laugh hysterically every time I watch this.

      • H0mer0

        he won me over years ago when he showed he had a sense of humor about himself. Also, “Tell us Mr Trump!…”
        https://youtu.be/PyZWrSgrFMs?t=25

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I’m not going to cry…I’m not going to cry…I’m not going to cry…
          It’s like the “Through the Looking Glass” version of the Smiths’ “Shakespeare’s Sister”: I could laugh about it then, but now it is terrible…nooooo no no let me go!
          https://youtu.be/t3pkC0iujHs

    • DainBramage

      “Daddy had me sell my soul to Satan when I was 11. It would’ve just gotten in the way.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I guess if you evict enough people, that whole mideast problem sort of takes care of itself.

  • beatbort

    I can just hear the conversation in the Palin kitchen:
    “Mama, why’nt you think big like them Trump wimmens?! All this penny ante shit and we’s still livin’ in the trailer park…eaten thawed out deer meat and sellin’ crap on the Home Shoppers Network…”

  • h4rr4r

    I get that you don’t want to become poor again, but charging more for the Kindle version than the hardback did not encourage me to buy.

    • I see that a lot on Amazon?

      • h4rr4r

        Yeah and I don’t get it.
        The version with almost no production cost should be cheaper.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          The prices are set by the publisher.

          Amazon does push publishers to make the kindle version cheaper, but not with complete success.

          • h4rr4r

            This makes me not like middlemen anymore than I did before. Seems like they get fair more out than they put in as far as value goes.

        • Seth Gordon

          (1) The paper and ink in a book is only part of the production cost. There’s also the editorial staff, the cover-design folks, the marketing department, and of course the royalties to the author.

          (2) The publisher usually doesn’t know in advance which books will be best-sellers and which will bomb, so there has to be enough of a profit margin for each title so that the wins make up for the losses.

          (3) (probably the most important reason) If publishers consistently price their ebooks below paper books, then the book-buying public will become habituated to buying ebooks, and then Amazon will have an even tighter grip on the publishers’ balls than they already have.

          • h4rr4r

            1). Those other costs exist in the paperback.
            2). See 1
            3) So sell unencumbered ebooks. If you will sell me DRM free ebooks I will gladly pay more than hardcover.

      • KillerMartinis

        I think it’s to do with the age of the book. In this case, publish date was nearly three years ago and they basically can’t sell hardcover once paperback is out except to fans who keep libraries, I’m told. But I just write the damn things, I don’t sell them, so I have no actual idea.

    • doktorzoom

      Ninety-five cents? Guess you told her greedy ass. (Also, she didn’t set the price)

      • h4rr4r

        Huh?
        It’s $14, richy rich.

        Sorry if my buying a paperback offends you.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Ninety-five cents more than the hardback, your chosen point of reference.

          • h4rr4r

            Fair, I picked it because that was the second most expensive option.

          • Jon Jay Obermark

            The point is I can read the hardcover anywhere. it does not tie itself to a limited platform. It should always cost more. Don’t be an ass.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I was just clarifying a misunderstanding between two people (neither of whom was you), about where the 95 cent figure came from. Not taking a position for or against.

            So, not sure where the attitude is coming from. I suggest you take your own advice.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    texas has surprisingly good renter protections – assuming you have the thing in writing still.

    Remember, most cities have a legal aid group that will help broke ass renters. Sometimes there are even associations run by the city and county or some shit. (I’ve only heard about them).

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Landlords are the scum of the earth, and always have been.

    “For the key we must have consideration, that is, some Angel in hand: for verily the last tenant made us change the lock.” Richard Tarlton, Kind-Hart’s Dream (1593)

    “Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.” Irish Proverb.

    “Even in Hell the peasant will have to serve the landlord, for, while the landlord is boiling in a cauldron the peasant will have to put wood under it” Russian Proverb.

    • Meccalopolis

      Which the peasant will gladly do. Need a little more wood there?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        How about some S’mores? And no sharing.

  • Me not sure
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Gah! His eyes are just so soulless! He is high on my list of most punchable faces. Also too, rat libelz!

      • H0mer0

        rat looks like he’s doing the Monty Burns “Eeexcellent!” gesture

        • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

          Jared is more analogous to Mr. Burns

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          That’s a normal ‘rest’ position for a rat’s hands. I always thought ours were planning something.

    • Atheist

      Noooooo not comfortable with the comparison of a Jewish person to a rat. Nazi propaganda used to do that. :(

      • Me not sure

        Actually, the reference was meant to be to “slumlord” NOT Jew. I see the issue. SORRY.

      • medcannabis1

        I respectfully disagree… is it fair to compare Jared the lessor to the Capos who work for Nazis?
        Jareds concern is only self enrichment and his lack of concern for those surrounding him speak volumes to his lack of morality.
        One cannot hide behind ” faith” as a cloak of protection when they are truly a rat…
        Blessings….

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    The beloved’s potential workplace is a Kushner-family-owned building. He feels the need to take a Silkwood shower after every visit.

    My current landlords do as little as is humanly possible around our house, but every time I’m tempted to complain, I remember that they haven’t raised my rent in a decade, and that, when another tenant stiffed them on the rent for 8 months, they merely threatened said tenant with eviction but delayed action long enough to let them move out instead.

  • shivaskeeper

    See, I knew I was doing something wrong as a property manager. I have had a few buddies hire me over the last few years to manage, be the handyman, and be the local contact for contractors for their rentals while they were out of town for extended periods of time. It’s normally the kind of thing they do themselves.

    No tenant ever waited more than 8 hours for a call back and I would be there with tools and parts in hand at the agreed time.

    I could have done nothing and still got paid? Damn sense of responsibility. Always getting in the way.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I misread that second-to-last sentence as ” No tenant ever waited more than 8 hours for a call back and I would be there with tools and pants in hand at the agreed time.”
      What is it with Wonkers and not wearing pants?

      • shivaskeeper

        They’re uncomfortable. Of course.

        • theCryptofishist

          Plus, if you don’t wear them, you don’t have to wash them.

          • shivaskeeper

            An added bonus I hadn’t even thought of. Damn the Wonkers are smart and efficient.

      • katkelly57

        It’s the weather….

    • KillerMartinis

      Bless you, stranger from the Internet, now and forever. May you have many fine summer days.

      • shivaskeeper

        You as well. Also too, not a stranger form the internet, I’m an imaginary friend unless we meet in person.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Most landlords take care of their properties. I had one woman who used to call me CONSTANTLY with problems like “the garage door opener isn’t working.” So I’d drive over, and be all “Uh…yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have unplugged the unit that raises and lowers the door?” She’d tell me things like “well, I don’t know how that could have been unplugged, someone must have come in from the street and done it.” Right…they didn’t steal anything, they just unplugged the garage door opener. I’m sure your kids didn’t do it.

      I had another one who insisted I call a plumber (at $90 just to say “hi”) and I texted her 4 times if she checked the strainer on the drain to see if her hair was clogging it. She would never answer my question, just kept insisting I call a plumber.I was out of town, but sent my mother, and of course her hair hadn’t been cleaned out of the tub. I’d also told her if she didn’t cut the grass, she would attract rats. Sure enough she calls me in hysterics one night that there are rats in the attic. I said “have you been cutting the grass?” Of course she hadn’t. I had left her my lawnmower AND the phone number of a guy who’d cut the grass for $30. In case you’re wondering if she was too poor to afford lawn care, and too old to cut it herself, she was an extremely physically fit 30 year old who was making $100,000 a year.

      • shivaskeeper

        Around here it’s not so much the landlords as the property management companies. A lot of the rentals near me are owned by military folks who have moved to a new duty station, but kept a property here either as an investment, a business venture, or this is the place they want to come back to when they retire. When you are 6000 miles away and your property management company is lazy, things don’t get done as they should.

        Most of the ones I had to deal with were younger couples who had no idea how to maintain a house. Easy things like sink traps and whatnot I have drain snakes and all that sort of thing. Wall heaters that don’t put out heat or smell funny so I need to remove the cover and vacuum the heater coils off. Cleaning roofs and gutters two or three times a year. That sort of thing. For the most part they were willing to learn what to do since they were almost all int he market to buy in the nearish future and then there is no more provided maintenance.

        The worst one was a germaphobe. Neither would admit to which one it was, but they used about 2 gallons of bleach a day to clean pretty much every surface in the house. It was diluted in the water bucket of course, but do you have any idea what that much bleach will do to a septic system over a few months? It is not pretty and is something that was way beyond my means to fix. That one needed outside help.

  • Hiam J Beaudry

    “See, you have to pay your landlord literally anything they ask you to in order to avoid eviction. ”
    Stupid, stupid, stupid. Laws vary from state to state and this kind of irresponsible crap is not helping people. In many states there are habitability rules, and they are enforced. Stop with the bullshit.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You are correct, but you could have phrased that in a nicer way.

  • BetsyBleedingheart

    Assholes like Kushner give Jews a bad name. Like, I’m barely religious but at least I remember that I’m supposed to be a good, moral person.

    • Atheist

      Sometimes I think religion makes people less moral. Fundy Christians in particular do unthinkable things like marry off their teenage daughters to nasty old geezers but it’s okay because forgiveness and Bible stuffs.

      • BetsyBleedingheart

        Any belief system, taken to extremes, will fuck you up. Whether that involves one god or many or none. At that point it becomes less about belief than power.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      As one secular Jew to another, I would say that being a good, moral person is common sense, and we know to do that without religion telling us so.

      If anything, irreligion begets morality. Notice the lack of violence in irreligious countries, and contrast that with the wars in holier-than-thou ones.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Damn, I didn’t think I lived in a particularly progressive place but these stories make me think I do. In my city if you get an eviction notice you can file a protest affidavit for $70, and even that can get waived if you tell them you are poor. The housing judges frequently decide against slumlords.

    • Alan

      I was thinking the same thing. Around here the landlord is always the villain and the tenant has all the rights. Guess that’s not true in NYC?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I know a fair amount about real estate law, and I don’t know of any place in the country where you have to pay rent to live in an uninhabitable home. You are entitled to move out. You should let the landlord know in WRITING via certified letter why you are abandoning the house (no running water, no working heat, no electricity, leaking roof, etc…). You can’t just move out because you feel like it, but if there’s a real problem you should let them know in writing that you want the problem fixed, if they don’t fix it, send them a letter saying you’re breaking your lease if they don’t fix the problem by (your date here). Also, if you want to stay, let them know you’re withholding the rent in an ESCROW account, until they fix the problem. They can attempt to evict you, but no judge is going to allow them to, if they’re not providing you with a livable space. In fact, they will probably be ordered to fix the problem and you will get a pass from the judge on paying the rent while they weren’t providing you with hot water.

  • Dazza

    Oh boy – Killer Martinis – you wrote “Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America?” I LOVED that book! I read it after reading the review in the Guardian.

    For the Wonkers, from the Guardian review: “telling her that, along with millions of other low-wage workers in the
    US, the only barrier between her and success is her own mentality. To
    which she responds “I have only the wise words of Dick Cheney: go fuck
    yourself.”

    If you can, buy a copy, if you can’t – get it from the library.

    • KillerMartinis

      ah amazing! it’s always cool to hear that. Also this is why I giggled when on my first post here people were encouraging me to say fuck more. I kept thinking to myself “just give me minute to relax. Or a few whiskies.”

      • Dazza

        And thank you for writing that book. Your work is particularly important now – with the Senate trying to destroy the ACA by stealth and that fucking travesty of a budget just released by the WH.

        • KillerMartinis

          yeah I’ve basically been saving the close reading of that until I don’t have to be sober. Otherwise I’ll torch something.

          • Dazza

            Fair enough.

      • Hizzoner

        What’s your brand of whiskey? Next time you’re in Eugene, Oregon, let us buy you several.

        • KillerMartinis

          jameson, and yes, thank you!

          • Hizzoner

            Have you tried Red Breast? It is delicious!

          • KillerMartinis

            no, but this sounds likely, I’m in.

  • I lived in Kusherland and he was only the SECOND WORST landlord in the East Village/Lower East Side. That level of neglect was standard for the neighborhood but these weasels were really hot to for kicking out the olds only playing 50 bucks a month so they could get NYU freshman for $3000/studio, Kushner was famous for using goons to threaten to old ladies. Croman (the other guys) actually beat people up.

    • Both my apartments there had the ceilings cave in during a rainstorm (top floor of a walk-up). Management couldn’t be bothered to do more than stick up a tarp a week later. The intact ceiling bubbled, bloated and turned black from mold. ($2200/mo for a 15 x 15 studio)

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        So glad I left NYC in the early 1990s. Unless you’re very wealthy, it’s no place to live.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Google “Donald Trump and the Barbizon Hotel.” Trump moved homeless people , pimps, prostitutes and thugs in the old Barbizon to get the old timers to move out. He later claimed he was “just trying to help the homeless.”

  • Zyxomma

    Large plums? No. They’re not even the size of plum PITS.

  • Jeff Miller

    It is not surprising that Jared Kushner has habits in the business world that are unethical. Look at his father’s conduct in the business world. Look at the conduct of many of Kushner’s religious associates in the Chabad Lubavich movement of Judaism. Kushner’s religious beliefs are not average Jewish beliefs. In fact, orthodox and secular Jews insist that Lubavich Jews are not Jews at all. Why? Because the Chabad Lubavich movement is a messianic movement based on the mystical teachings of the Kabbalah and other superstitious ideas. The Lubavich movement to which Kushner and Ivanka belong has a belief system that would raise eyebrows if they were fundamentalist Muslim or Christian. Secular Jews in the media don’t have the courage to expose Jared’s religious beliefs, because it might be construed as anti-Semitism. But the real truth about the kind of Judaism Jared Kushner follows is that it is not authentic Judaism and should face media scrutiny. Lubavich Jews literally believe that non-Jewish souls are inferior to Jewish souls. That’s why I am not surprised that JKushner’s real estate slum collections company squeezes mostly non-Jews for their money. Like father, like son. Trump has shown a clear lack of good judgment by placing Jared Kushner in control of revising the US government. This shows that Trump not only does a bad job firing people, he clearly doesn’t know how to hire those qualified for public service. Out with Jared Kushner and Ivanka, too. Now.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      I had mistakenly read somewhere that Jared and Ivanka are orthodox Jews. I knew that it couldn’t be true because the orthodox Jewish women cover themselves up, while Ivanka acts the babe.

      Whatever the case, it’s clear that both she and Jared have ice water running through their veins.

    • Tovarish Z

      Are you sure he is a Lubavitcher? He sure doesn’t dress like one. No payas, no black hat, no beard. My understanding is he is Modern Orthodox.

    • Jason P. Levy

      Look, I agree kushner’s a dirt bag, but come on, don’t make this about his religion.

      • Jeff Miller

        A person’s worldview is key to understanding their present and future actions. Look up Lubavich Chabad Judaism to understand Kushner better.

        • Jason P. Levy

          Perhaps it’s helpful, but it’s never dispositive

          • Jeff Miller

            Jason, do a little research and you’ll find that what I’ve said here is relevant to whether or not J. Kushner should be in the West Wing.

    • Seth Gordon

      A lot of Jews attend Lubavitch synagogues, or have been influenced by Lubavitch to become more religiously observant, without buying into the whole Lubavitch religious system.

  • ThunderCat

    WOW! You wrote “Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America”!! I used that book, along with Nickel and Dimed, in a module on poverty as part of a larger seminar called Race, Class, and Sex in America. Out of all the books we read in that class, yours probably engaged my students the most and left a lasting impression. I still have some students talk to me about it!

    • KillerMartinis

      ah awesome! I think out of all the book-related stuff I do the college classes are my favorite. I never can get over the irony of being a uni lecturer now when I couldn’t have bought my way into a shitty undergrad a couple years ago. Makes me giggle every time!

      • ThunderCat

        Saaaaay … do you do presentations, lectures, lecturer-in-residence sort of stuff at other unis? I teach that seminar in rotation every 2 – 3 years, and I think not only my students would love to hear you speak but all the other students/faculty would too!

        I tell you–the students (and probably many of the faculty, too) are living in a very idealized world (pretty solidly middle-class; they all imagine a starting salary in the high 80’s), where hard work etc gets you to the top (they all feel they can ride the American Dream to millionaire status). But after reading your book (and Ehrenreich’s), the hammer of reality hit them: a) a lot depends simply on luck, b) you can work your ass off and still not get to the top of the ladder, c) middle-class status is not a protection against sliding into poverty.

        So, of course, I’m Dr. Downer now! LOL

        • KillerMartinis

          see this is why all the funny jokes and swears in the book, else it’d just be fucking depressing. And yup, I do a ton of work, you can get me at bootstrapindustries at gmail and figure details

  • pixeloid
    • medcannabis1

      hahaha

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “This is entirely legal. See, you have to pay your landlord literally anything they ask you to in order to avoid eviction. Your legal remedy is to pay them whatever they ask, hire a lawyer, and have a court order them to repay you.”

    As a former tenant AND a former landlord (non slumlord variety), and a licensed realtor, that statement is not really true. If the house is not habitable, you don’t have to pay jack shit, you can just move out. It’s probably a good idea to document what’s making it uninhabitable, though. That’s the law.

    The smart thing to do if you’re having a dispute with a landlord about fixing something, and you do NOT want to move out, is to send a certified letter, take pictures, tell them you’re withholding the rent in an escrow account until the problem is addressed, and that you’ll pay them in full when the problem is fixed. That generally gets their attention pretty quickly. They can take you to court, but the judge is going to ask them why you haven’t had running water in three months. The landlord knows this, and will want to avoid court at all costs. The judge is NOT going to find in their favor if they’re not providing basic services.

    Also, this is a two sided coin, and as a landlord, I can tell you that people don’t give a shit about your property, will tear it up, and then look you in the eye and lie to you about how it happened. I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said to me “it was like that when I moved in.” Right, you moved in to a house with a broken ceiling fan hanging off the ceiling, and you never bothered to mention it, until you want your security deposit back, and I tell you your deposit is going to be minus the cost of replacing the ceiling fan.

    • motmelere

      I spent a huge part of my early childhood doing chores at my parents’ starter home – no bigly – just mowing the lawn & shit at my first backyard.
      I think I was about 10 when the upper tenants (old house turned duplex) let the shower drain clog and overflow until the downstairs called about a rainy kitchen ceiling. Folks upstairs seriously complained that my dad wasn’t on top of all the hair they tried to wash down the drain. End result was everybody move out so we can fix this and sell. I’ve had many truly awful landlords and some really good ones since; can honestly say that a slumlord isn’t defined in black and white, but you can smell them from a mile away.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Oh, yeah, there are some landlords who are awful. I think they’re in the minority though. When I was a renter in NYC I couldn’t understand why some of my landlords never wanted to fix anything. After I’d been a landlord for a while, I also started to have more sympathy to them after dealing with idiot tenants who would do stuff like remove the caulk from the tub (WHY????) and then call me to bitch that the surround was coming off the walls. Uhh…maybe you shouldn’t have removed the caulk that was keeping the water from getting behind the surround? I had one idiot deal with a leak under the kitchen sink, not by calling me, but by placing a sponge on the wood ( didn’t think to put a bucket there…WTF? Who does this?). The lack of common sense with tenants was astounding to me. I used to make the mistake of fixing properties up before I rented them out. I would NEVER make that mistake again.

    • Speaking as someone who is also an ex landlord and an ex tenant, I can say that as long as both groups are drawn from the wider pool of human beings there will be plenty of assholes on both sides.

      The trick is to balance the laws so that neither is overly favoured. Ha! Ha! As long as government is full of landlords, good luck with that. Much as landlords love to whine.

      • Jason P. Levy

        I practice a fair amount of l&t around Long Island and the 5 boros representing landlords and tenants, and I’ll tell you, the way the law is actually applied depends heavily on the county where you go to court. You have to consider the character of the community when you go to landlord/tenant court. Richer suburban areas like in parts of Suffolk county will be very landlord friendly, and places like Brooklyn and Queens will be very tenant friendly.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        As a friend of mine used to say “I can understand why people don’t want to pay to fix your properties.” I said “so can I, but maybe they shouldn’t have damaged the property to begin with.” I was NEVER taken to court by a tenant, which seems odd considering they were always accusing me of falsely stealing their money to repair the items they’d broken. If a landlord kept my money (never happened because I never damaged anything), I’d sure as hell take them to court.

        Note: I’m not denying that SOME landlords are assholes, and will try to keep your money, but the majority just want their property returned in the condition it was rented out.

        • Of course, lets keep in mind that you and I were “Mom and Pop” landlords as the type of landlord described in the post above would say with a sneer. They’re the landlords who don’t even collect their own money, they hire someone even for that. Big difference, and not just in scale.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Of course. There are horrible landlords out there, for sure. Many of them are based in NYC.

    • Seth Gordon

      When my roommate and I had an issue with our landlords (nothing as heinous as what this article describes, thank God and Adam Smith), I consulted with a local attorney, someone my roommate had done business with before. I asked the attorney whether it would be advisable to withhold rent. He said, well, on the one hand, it might be legal to do so; on the other hand, the landlords know where I live.

      Oh, I said, you mean they might do something like replace our windows in the middle of winter.

      The lawyer repeated that they know where I live.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        People think landlord’s have a lot more power than they do. A landlord can’t even turn off your water if you stop paying the rent. The only power they have is to evict you if you’re not paying the rent, and even that takes a while, and has to go through the courts.

    • javadavis

      Our bad landlord story involves a double-wide on a lot with its own well. Too bad the well was contaminated with e-coli, due to the septic tank plumbing being installed improperly. When we took the issue to the county health department they told us that the owner was good to rent the place since the owner knew about it. I think there might have been some confusion in WTF we were trying to tell them or in how the b-, er, landlord had the house registered. Before it was over there was an investigation into manslaughter beginning (for the 2 previous and 1 following tenants who died of e-coli poisoning) and she died to avoid the court costs. End of investigation, BTW.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It sounds to me like there was a lot of confusion.

        I’m confused about this sentence “she died to avoid the court costs.” The landlord died?

        If people have a problem with their landlord, they need to take them to court. Small claims court is the best place, or a magistrate’s court.

        • javadavis

          Hm, and I thought it made sense. My weird detector is down again.
          We went to court, the lease got voiced so we could move on, but she still tried to get more money out of us even though the judge said OK – you guys are moving out, you don’t have to pay any more on the lease.. Hubby kept in touch with the county health department and, when a member of the next family to rent the place died (something he was trying to prevent by keeping in touch with them about the water situation) an investigation got serious. We found out she had died when the probate lawyer called up and wanted us to give them money, like six months more rent. The investigation was dropped at that point.
          Hence, the ‘died to avoid’ thing was an attempt at humor. I’ll never learn.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I thought that’s what you meant, wasn’t quite sure. She sounds like a nut job. I’m glad you got to get out of that toxic dump.

          • javadavis

            Us, too, and all her dumps got a chance to get cleaned up.
            We stopped by the place and tried to talk to the guy who moved in with his wife and kid, but he got nasty. I have no idea what he was told about us, but I bet she had some tale to keep him from talking to us.

        • javadavis

          BTW – she was accustomed to people taking her to court. We asked her to get the problem fixed and she took US to court, like we were served papers in about 5 hours. We were not smart about it, but we did get out and use the court thing to break the lease.
          She also had some apartment buildings that were known for black mold. Too bad we didn’t find out before we rented from her.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Unfortunately most people are NOT familiar with the law. Landlords don’t have the powers that people think they have.

  • Incoming Ham

    Is Ivanka wearing a dress made out of duct tape?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Reynold’s Wrap? It looks like one of those thermal blankets EMTs give to trauma victims.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Whatever that dress is made of, it probably costs more than she pays all her employees combined in a year.

      • medcannabis1

        you mean her ” free interns”?

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I’m unable to believe such a fayn iung mentsh would do such things! Does his mother know?

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    I can already see Satan clearing out a special place just for Jared.

  • motmelere

    “Who will collect my rent payment?” Nobody ever answered with, “Oh well, we only have one rent collection guy”. Ever.

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    And now we know why Jared’s part of this administration. Like calls to like.

    • Ivanka certainly is daddy’s girl. It must have been difficult trying to find someone as incompetent, morally bankrupt and depraved as her father. And here was I thinking she married “up”. To think they actually identified themselves as democrats?

  • medcannabis1

    Kama, RICO and all that is good will see that the gilded lily-boy Jared will be someones wife in the Fed Pen.
    What a POS for preying upon the poor and suffering.
    Those housing games from the Kushies companies should evoke disgust among any compassionate citizen. I hope they ” reap what they have sown”
    FUCK JARED!

    • doktorzoom

      Please review the rules. We don’t tolerate prison rape jokes here, or wish rape on anyone. Period.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • Is it pitchforks and torches time yet?

  • Donna Schoenkopf

    You are a GREAT writer and my hero! I have lived this life, too. There are lots of us. Need I say it? OK. I will. PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!

  • Truly Madly Derply

    If I can be so bold: I’d amend the description of his brain and soul to “the size of large prunes“, because those bastards are dry and shriveled.

    • and people only eat prunes to give them the shits.

  • You should have seen one of my walls in government housing. Grey water from the tenant above me was leaking into the brick. It looked like modern art with a range of mould that would make a microbiologist excited. Lived in it for four months.

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