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At his press conference Thursday, Donald Trump gave a slightly premature obituary for the Affordable Care Act, saying, as he has before, that there’s no point comparing TrumpCare to Obamacare, because there’s no such thing as Obamacare anymore: “Obamacare is collapsing. It’s dead. It’s gone. It’s a fallacy. There’s nothing to compare it to because we don’t have health care in this country.”

National Public Radio did a quick fact check on whether we do, in fact, have health care in this country, and lookie whose Tweet they cited!

While the ACA does have problems with insurers dropping out of some markets (a problem that can be addressed without throwing the whole law out), the ACA remains the law of the land, as Paul Ryan said after the first attempt to pass the GOP’s terrible repeal and replace bill failed. Oh, but even though the ACA repeal attempt hasn’t yet passed the Senate in any form, there is in fact a very serious threat to Obamacare. As the Los Angeles Times details in a disturbing report, the ACA isn’t dead, but the Trump Administration seems to be trying to do everything it can to murder it even without a legal repeal.

The LA Times piece makes it very clear that Trump and the Republicans are lying when they say the ACA’s marketplaces are collapsing under their own weight: Instead, the administration is

driving much of the current instability by refusing to commit to steps to keep markets running, such as funding aid for low-income consumers or enforcing penalties for people who go without insurance.

“All this uncertainty is not helpful,” warned Blue Shield of California Chief Executive Paul Markovich, who said health plans were being forced to make plans to raise premiums to account for the turmoil, jeopardizing Americans’ coverage.

Isn’t that clever of the Trumpers? Nobody could have seen it coming, except for everyone who saw it coming. Markovich was one of the few insurance company officials willing to go on record about frustrations with the Trump administration, because of the possibility of retribution from Trump. That’s how a functioning first-world country works, isn’t it? But other executives seemed a little less than appreciative of President Business:

“It’s hard to know who’s home,” said one chief executive. “We don’t know who is making decisions.”

Another chief executive said: “There seems to be no coordination or coherent planning.… It’s a mess.”

A third official observed: “There is a sense that there are no hands on the wheel and they are just letting the bus careen down the road.”

One of the health insurers’ greatest frustrations is that the Trump administration refuses to say whether it will enforce the tax fines that serve as an incentive for people to enroll (fines still required by the law). Or whether the administration will continue to provide — again, as the law requires — the federal aid that provides subsidies that helps lower-income policyholders pay for their insurance. The payments, known as cost-sharing reductions, or CSRs, are at the center of a lawsuit by Republicans, who argue they must be subject to an annual congressional appropriation. The Obama administration kept paying the CSRs, but the Trump team keeps hedging on whether it will pay them or not, because Trump thinks it might be fun to withhold them to pressure Democrats to go along with scrapping the ACA.

Yes, really. Without the federal support — which, we think we may have mentioned is required by law even though the law is being challenged — state insurance regulators warn the marketplaces really could be in danger of collapsing, even in areas where the ACA has seen stabilizing enrollment and premiums. Isn’t that a neat trick?

Why, yes, it DOES get worse: Meetings between the insurance industry and the Trump administration have only resulted in more confusion. Seema Verma, Trump’s appointee to run the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), offered this weirdass deal to executives at one recent meeting: The administration would fund CSRs in the short term if insurance companies would publicly support the House bill to repeal the ACA. One executive at the meeting seemed dumbfounded: “It made no sense,” the executive said. It’s almost as if they’d never heard of destroying the village in order to save it! (The Trump administration, meanwhile, denied that Verma had even made the offer, because why would they fund something they hate?)

Don’t go looking to the government agency responsible for making the ACA work for any support. As far as the Department of Health and Human Services is concerned, it’s already been repealed, even though it hasn’t been. Here’s HHS spokesperson Alleigh Marre:

Obamacare has failed […] For this reason, Republicans are reforming healthcare so it delivers access to quality, affordable coverage to the American people.

Oh, sure, it’s still “the law,” but why should the agency that’s supposed to make it work even bother anymore? Fuck you and your stupid healthcare needs, don’t you know who won the election?

Go read the whole LA Times piece and prepare to be infuriated. Better, call your senators and representative and insist the president follow the law, even if he wants to repeal it.

Oh, and as for the House’s rotten ACA repeal, here’s a hell of a thing: While House Republicans passed the thing two weeks ago and had a big party in the Rose Garden to celebrate the first step in the process of repealing Obamacare, it seems they forgot one eensy tiny itty bitty very small part of the process: They failed to actually send the bill to the Senate, which means the House may have to vote on the damnable abomination again. OOPSIES:

House Speaker Paul Ryan hasn’t yet sent the bill to the Senate because there’s a chance that parts of it may need to be redone, depending on how the Congressional Budget Office estimates its effects. House leaders want to make sure the bill conforms with Senate rules for reconciliation, a mechanism that allows Senate Republicans to pass the bill with a simple majority.

Republicans had rushed to vote on the health bill so the Senate could get a quick start on it, even before the CBO had finished analyzing a series of last-minute changes. The CBO is expected to release an updated estimate next week.

If the CBO score shows the House bill doesn’t save at least $2 billion, the rules for passing a bill through reconciliation in the Senate would require the House to adjust its bill and pass it again. And while such a vote could possibly be camouflaged “in some kind of arcane procedural move,” it would still be a second vote to kill Obamacare, and to throw tens of millions of people off their health insurance, which should be all kinds of attractive to Republicans already facing a tough slog in 2018. And with a new vote, they’d also be stuck with the CBO’s updated estimate of how many more people would lose coverage — certain to be much higher than the original terrible bill since the CBO has previously said it wouldn’t count junk insurance — cheap plans that may not cover essential health services — as real insurance.

So Obamacare isn’t dead yet. We just need to find a way to keep Donald Trump from clubbing it over the head and throwing it on the cart.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations, and you guys are way more reliable than Donald Trump. Thanks, and please click the “Donate” clicky below to keep us off the cart!

[NPR / LAT / Bloomberg]

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  • msanthropesmr

    We forgot to send the bill to the Senate.

    We forgot to send the bill to the Senate.

    Let that sink in.

  • On Topic:

    Repugs in the House are going to vote on OBamacare again because they just love wasting tax payer dollars voting for Repealing obamacare

    http://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/334207-ryan-downplays-possibility-of-re-vote-on-gop-health-bill

    • William

      What’s that like 62 times? I’ve lost count.

    • Wild Cat

      Pssst…this is just a front for their ‘hide the salami’ sessions in the congressional mens’ room that started seven or eight years ago.

      • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        So the political analogy of alter boy is congressional page?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Plus, additional “victory” parties. The Rose Gardren celebratory keggers are EPIC, bro!

    • DrBigHead

      I think they would be completely lost if they ever did manage to end the ACA (I refuse to use the tag the Repubs gave it). I think that is why they did not send it to the Senate. Their subconscious would not allow them.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      E-cards for ALIENS: “Sometimes HIS face needs a hug.”

    • Ezio

      Thanks, now I feel like I should see the new movie.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Leo DeCaprio sure has let himself go, bless his heart.

    • Michael Smith

      We’ve all been there.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Apropos of clubbing it over the head and throwing it in the cart, that pic of Head Cheeto What Thinks He’s In Charge up top makes me want to slap the skin clean off his smirking facehole.

    • Stulexington

      “I’m not dead yet.”

      • Notreelyhelping

        Obligatory: “I’m feeling happy!”

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m betting that picture was taken before he was informed that colluding with a foreign government to subvert our democracy was, yanno…treason, and that all our intelligence agencies are not going to let that go.

  • anwisok

    Their display of competence is awe inspiring.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Maura Liasson is just bummed out that NPR didn’t use her tweets for their story. Watch your back, Dok.

  • Scooby

    Why is it that all conservatives say that if we have socialized medicine we will become Venezuela rather than we will become Switzerland? It’s because of the cheese right?

    • Ezio

      Why is it that all conservatives who can accept that Christ healed sick people for free think socialized medicine is evil?

      • Michael Smith

        Hmm now there’s a strategy! Instead of trying to explain to them how healthcare works, we call it MiracleCare, and say that Congress is just going to get together and say a bunch of prayers, and, lo and behold, healthcare will be more affordable for more Americans!

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          Isn’t that their current strategery? (Except you’re leaving off the “if we cut taxes for the rich, there will be puppies and rainbows and unicorns” section.)

      • Scooby

        Yes, but not the people with pre-existing conditions.

    • Alan

      Because they make a living by scaring stupid people?

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Curd be.

    • Claire

      Didn’t they used to say we’d become Sweden? Maybe Sweden wasn’t scary enough anymore because it didn’t have enough brown people.

      • Scooby

        To Swedes we are brown people.

      • Michael Smith

        I think it depends on who they are talking to. If you are trying to scare someone who is most afraid of Mexicans, then you say Venezuela, because they think Venezuela is part of Mexico. If you are trying to scare someone who is most afraid Muslims, you say Sweden, because they think all of Europe is under Sharia law, and they are pretty sure Sweden is at least close to Europe.

        • William

          I can’t keep saying this enough. Sharia Law is still the coolest stripper name, and why hasn’t it been used yet?

          • Scooby

            You clearly don’t get out enough.

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      You’d think since they put a cheese-colored person in office they’d be all over it.

      • Scooby

        There’s no Velveeta in Switzerland or in heaven. (I hope)

    • laughingnome

      There are holes in your argument.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Worse, you might become Canada, and then you’d have to be polite and self-effacing and leave your guns locked up at home and have French on your cereal boxes. Quelle horreur!

      • Three Finger Salute

        S’il vous plait, call up Boba Fett to clone Justin Trudeau.

    • SeeTrain65
      • Scooby

        That’s not too far from the truth.

  • Ezio

    Conservatives: Pro-life! Save the baby! Everyone has a right to life!

    Jimmy Kimmel: My baby who is only a few hours old needs intensive care.

    Conservatives: I’M NOT PAYING FOR THIS CRAP. WHAT HAPPENED TO PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY? WHY IS EVERYONE IN AMERICA A VICTIM THESE DAYS?

    • Atheist

      About sums it up.

      They’re pro-life unless that it exists outside the womb. Then you’re on your own, dammit.

    • Scooby

      Prenatal your sacred preschool your screwed.

      • formerChild

        Huh?

      • SeeTrain65

        Or, sayeth St. George of Morningside Heights: “If you’re pre-born, you’re fine. If you’re pre-school, you’re fucked.”

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      Everyone has a right to be born. Nobody ever guaranteed that life would be healthy! Or last more than a few hours..

  • Alan

    But Australia has better health care!

    • Rick Hill

      The dark ages with leeches and blood letting had better health care

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Ask your doctor if Trepanning™ is right for you.

  • “It’s hard to know who’s home,” said one chief executive. “We don’t know who is making decisions.”

    Another chief executive said: “There seems to be no coordination or coherent planning.… It’s a mess.”

    A third official observed: “There is a sense that there are no hands on the wheel and they are just letting the bus careen down the road.”

    Don’t worry. President Trump is in command giving the United States the same steady-handed leadership that he gave those casinos he bankrupted, a failed Ponzi scheme, and a novelty television show with ever declining ratings.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    They failed to actually send the bill to the Senate, which means the House may have to vote on the damnable abomination again.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5cbf0a99320681ab6c9659472c9bf98222e0ff10e99aee66de91c7072ff8c4ba.jpg

    • msanthropesmr

      I actually think this is great optics for the Democrats.

      • Certified Green Bastard

        The GOP: We Couldn’t Hit Water If We Fell Out of a Boat!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Why do 24 hour stores have locks on the doors?

      • msanthropesmr

        Attack of the late eighties comedians.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          “What is WITH losing socks in the dryer, guys? I mean, WHERE do they go? Amiright??”

          Now let’s give a warm welcome to Paula Poundstone!

        • laughingnome

          Why did we ever think Jerry Seinfeld was funny as a standup comedian? Amirite?

          • msanthropesmr

            I never thought Seinfeld was funny. I fucking hated Seinfeld. From the stupid theme music, to the stupid writing. I fucking hated seinfeld. So much. Hate Seinfeld. And Friends. And all that other bullshit.

          • Indivisible Snark Tank

            I didn’t HATE “Friends” (mainly because I had a crush on Courtney Cox, and Lisa Kudrow is funny as shit), but I couldn’t stand “Seinfeld”.

          • laughingnome

            I admit to thinking the show Seinfeld is funny. But I can see how it could annoy some people. Friends was too stupid.

    • William
      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Even 40 minutes would have resulted in the above.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m my pizza well done, but damn.

      • puredog

        I’ve made that! It was easy! I’d like to add, it was delicious. But no.

      • borninatrailer

        I’m guessing that oven temperature is not a coincidence. We’ve all been there.

        • William

          I’m guessing there might have been some mind altering substances involved prior to the incident. Who hasn’t tried putting a pin number in their microwave or looked for the baked potato icon on their laptop?

      • Phoenixdoglover

        That is a work of art.

      • Doug Langley

        5. Take a handful of Sominex to sleep through the smoke alarms.

    • SeeTrain65

      Her: “Because try making a round box out of one sheet of cardboard.”

      Him: “You married me for my body, didn’t you?”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Gosh, it sure is exhausting getting up every day and reading about what new ways this regime has thought up to ruin everyone’s lives.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And these are just the highlights.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Yeah, you really don’t want to be diving into the news about DeVos and education budgets.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Reading about the assault on the environment and public lands is my own special corner of hell.

  • folderol

    I thought we killed Obamacare, with votes? Did we not use the pointy ends?

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Evidently, they used a banana, or some other dangerous fruit.

      • redarmyzombie

        Should have gone with the pineapple.

        • SeeTrain65

          “PINEAPPLE!!!!??? WHERE? WHERE?”

    • Stulexington

      Apparently they tried to use the soft cushions. Those never work, they’re for torture, not killin.

  • Stulexington
  • MynameisBlarney
    • schmannity

      Don’t forget the coloring books and crayons

      • Just don’t suggest ‘staying in the lines’. He can’t grasp the concept and mentioning it makes his face turn Scarlet Red.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2634f77a886743b368ee7821c1f2d410fc5e64e9656add4702ab6b12915f2a3d.jpg

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          “Fucking multilingual crayons! Why can’t our children color in English like God intended???”

          • I was SHOCKED, SHOCKED I say, to find out countries other than the USA were in color.

          • Indivisible Snark Tank

            Everything I learned about Japan I learned from Kurosawa, so I thought it was in black and white and always raining.

            Then I saw “Ran”….

          • PubOption

            I used to watch ‘Iron Chef’. I have strange ideas about Japan.

        • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

          “Frankly, Scarlet, your president sucks.”

    • Crystalclear12

      For the love of God, don’t forget his binky or he will be unbearable!

      • jesterpunk

        He keeps throwing it out the window, better bring a few extra and use safety pins to attach it to his tie.

      • Khavrinen

        Wait, you mean it’s actually possible for him to get worse?

        • Crystalclear12

          He will never be better but he can ALWAYS get worse.

  • folderol

    I have solution: we let barbers practice surgery and dentistry. Affordable, cheap, and no need for appointments or all the over-regulated sterile procedures stuff.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Is that a leech in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

    • William

      You can get a flu shot at Wal-Mart.

    • And sell meat pies also, too.

    • Scooby

      OK, just as long as it’s not Trumps barber.

    • SeeTrain65

      My barber shop plays Fox News all day.

      Now you know why I shave my head.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Standard & Poors, for example, said last month that insurance companies that offer health plans on the exchanges are losing less money than ever, and the markets are becoming more stable. The Kaiser Family Foundation says more than half the population has the choice of three or more insurers if it wants to buy a policy on the exchanges. And most people who get insurance through the Affordable Care Act receive subsidies to offset the rate increases.

    Several insurance companies, however, have said the uncertainty caused by Republican efforts to repeal the law have led them to either pull out of the markets or raise their rates for next year.

    So when Trump says, as he did today, “Obamacare is a fallacy. It’s dead,” that’s not exactly true.

    But he hopes to help make it so.

    “It’s starting to work! MAKE IT STOP!!!”

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      The ‘businessman President’ is bad for business. Who knew?

  • Ezio

    Me: Celebrities who don’t know how the government works should not hold positions of power. The election of Donald Trump is evidence of that.

    Also me: LET’S GO ROCK 2020!

    • Crystalclear12

      Don’t forget 2018!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • OddMan

    OT, but it does deal with health.
    Most important news story out there today. Trump says to the CDC, ‘fire all the experts, then put in a hiring freeze’. What could possibly go wrong?

    https://twitter.com/laurahelmuth/status/865563212045004800

    • BosGrl

      JOBS JOBS JOBS

    • laughingnome

      Stupidity is contagious.

      • NotReallyHere

        Maybe the republicans found out they were working on a vaccine for that.

      • Khavrinen

        And tRump is Typhoid Mary.

    • Meccalopolis

      They’re trying to kill us

      • Chris

        Less people will need long term healthcare. They are playing the long game.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      My friend who works with the CDC in Atlanta was talking about this. This is absolutely how you get Captain Tripps.

    • phoenix00

      WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Just one time I’d like to see Republicans spend as much time and effort improving things as they do destroying them.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Me too. Plus a pony and a million dollars.

      • SeeTrain65

        Selling yourself cheap, Ron. Five ponies and a billion.

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          I’m remarkably easy to please.

    • phoenix00

      You’re assuming “improve” is somehow in their vocabulary…

  • jesterpunk

    Republicans “Government is broken and cant get anything done, elect us and we will break government and do nothing.”

    Voters: Well they wont do anything and will make things worse but democrats have complicated plans and wont just focus on me. Lets vote for Republicans again and maybe this time their plans will help me.

    https://img.memecdn.com/epic-facepalm_o_289302.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    Most of the reps didn’t it hadn’t been sent to the Senate and were not happy they have to vote on this disaster again.

    I say good! Two albatrosses around the neck are better than one.

    Enjoy those town hall meetings, fellas!

    • jesterpunk

      Newt wrote an “article” for Faux news saying anyone who disagrees at town halls and who doesnt support Trump is trying to destroy the country. He someone compared it to the civil war and said Republicans are like Lincoln trying to keep the country together and anyone who disagrees is the south.

      https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/i-can-only-take-so-much-stupid-in-one-day-and-that-limit-has-already-been-exceeded-16935.png

      • BosGrl

        When he gets to the Vatican, someone call the Headless Monks, stat!

        • jesterpunk

          Can we just call the weeping angels and have them send him into the past? A few hundred years in the past should work.

          • Chris

            One of the two scariest Dr. Who’s ever. The other being the Tom Baker clown one. Ugh!

          • BosGrl

            Well we could but who the hell knows what kind of hell he’d wreak in the past and make today even worse?

          • jesterpunk

            Send him back far enough so that he wont have any money or properties and will have to actually work.

      • Nockular cavity

        Wait, so the Confederates are the enemy now?

        • jesterpunk

          I have no idea what he was going for there.

          • Ferroequinologist Ron

            Neither did he.

          • Erala Contratista

            It’s Noot, Jake……..

        • Paperless Tiger

          No rebel. No rebel. You’re the rebel.

        • I suppose they have been ever since they voted for this presidency.

      • SeeTrain65

        For someone hell bent on destroying the country, he should know.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I think by this point, it surpasses albatross and moves into full on millstone.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If there was one thing I’d guess the Republicans would be good at, it would be killing good laws without pity. Apparently Ryan and Assmouth can even fuck that up.

    • SeeTrain65

      They’re bad at being bad at government.

  • BigCSouthside

    Republicans: willing to destroy your healthcare so they can lie and say it was awful so they can give you no healthcare but say they did

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    There was/is much talk about ‘running the country like a business.’ In what business do the board and CEO send out contradictory memos, or fail to tell its workers what they’re supposed to be doing, or make random policy decisions without talking to the accountants… and then blame the CUSTOMERS for their mistakes?

    • BosGrl

      Well, my old job did that but they are a big fat mess.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Précisément!

    • I am currently blaming IT. Always seems a safe bet, and is currently right

      • Never blame IT. Even if it is demonstrably true. They can fuck your shit up. Even worse than it already is, I mean.

        • Always blame IT. Someone broke a code somewhere so we have to process 75% (minimum) of our data manually until they figure out what’s borked. This is IT’s fault and it’s been happening for THREE DAYS

    • marxalot

      The one Dilbert works for?
      …Oh. Oh.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      AOT,K

    • VirginiaLady

      Enron, Comcast, ebay, Uber, etc.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Or direct their people to do stuff and then throw them under the bus for doing stuff?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Sounds like my job.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Or act like sulky fucking babies when the employees politely point out that every last bit of what they just said is completely wrong.

    • Uh, that would be where I’m working now, actually.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Me, also too. We don’t have a QA group because, as my boss memorably said, if there’s something wrong, the customers will tell us.

        She also called our customers “ignorant” because they objected when we implemented one of her “brilliant” ideas without warning.

    • SeeTrain65

      Walmart?

    • phoenix00

      Trump’s

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    And the goddamned national nightmare continues unabated.

    Thanks stupid rust belt voters.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Right. The recording is of concern….but you being a piece of shit cunt is a-o-k. GTFOH. My shit turds have higher approval ratings than you, asshole.

    “Paul Ryan: ‘I’ve never seen anything like’ leaked McCarthy recording”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/19/paul-ryan-reacts-kevin-mccarthy-recording-238602

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Well it was stupid of Ryan and McCarthy to deny it happened, especially if it was “only a joke”.

      • chicken thief

        And I thought I was the only one that whenever one of my friends told a joke, I’d reply “let’s keep this among us. We’re family.”

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          “A dyslexic man walks into a bra”
          “Let’s keep this among us. We’re family.”

      • Chadwells

        For real. But then again….they parrot their master, Fuckface, so no surprise there!

  • Chadwells

    Sorry for my language on that last one…I’m just done with that fucking idiot.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      It’s okay, we all are.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      You didn’t threaten Ryan with a barbed-wire enema (with votes), so no foul!

    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      Apologizing for language on this mommyblog. Fucking ridiculous! Swear on!

    • Goddamn it! We fuckin’ HATE it when motherfuckers cuss!

  • OddMan

    House Speaker Paul Ryan hasn’t yet sent the bill to the Senate because there’s a chance that parts of it may need to be redone, depending on how the Congressional Budget Office estimates its effects.

    So why the hell did the House have to pass the damned health care bill so fast?
    Oh right, because Our Dear Lord Dampnut™ needed a boost to his sagging ratings that week. Then he threw that all away within 24 hours. Way to govern boys.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Remember when they did a victory lap with Dolt 45 after they passed the AHCA? It was like this.

      https://youtu.be/_EaJMr26F5w

  • Chadwells

    OT: HAH! Even some murderous genocidal freak doesn’t want anything to do with Fuckface. That or he’s scare of getting arrested…which is more likely…but I like my narrative better.

    “Sudan’s President, Wanted For War Crimes, Decides To Skip Summit With Trump”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/omar-al-bashir-skips-trump-summit_us_591ee497e4b094cdba53544f?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Paperless Tiger

      Guilt by association.

  • Nockular cavity

    They only passed the AHCA by two votes, right? And they’re losing Chaffetz. Oops!

  • Mavenmaven

    It will be safe for a while. Trump is going to focus on killing everyone now through provoking war in the middle east.

  • Nobody knew health care could be so complicated!

  • Me not sure

    Donnie, you could save your Presidency by simply getting single layer Medicare for all passed. You could then just relax for the rest of your term. Trust me on this.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      The most tragic thing about the Idiot Trump is that literally, all he has to do is show some actual humanity, kindness, and decency, and he would get all the adoration he craves. It’s always stunning to me that he simply cannot see that.

      • phoenix00

        …. but why? Being a shithead got him this far in life for this long….

  • VirginiaLady

    Ryan hasn’t passed the bill on to the Senate yet. What’s he doing with it, using it for toilet paper? Fire starting materials? The thing is kinda small so might he be rolling it up and using it to do lines of coke and dried angel tears?

    • MrTusks

      He knows it’s worthless and the possibility of failure in the Senate is legit the last thing his boss needs right now?

  • Longstreet63

    Well, it’s like how LBJ’s War on Poverty was a failure and Welfare As We Know It had to destroyed. The Republicans defunded it, and so it failed, then blamed poor people. The fact that cash grants to the poor is quite good for both the poor and the economy is beside the point, just like better medical outcomes is now.

  • Bobathonic

    “For this reason, Republicans are reforming healthcare so it delivers access to quality, affordable coverage to the American people.”

    From an HHS spokesperson, that is an unacceptable political endorsement. Shocking.

  • LarryHoudini

    I like how instead of writing “Doktor Zoom, editor of left-wing web site ‘Wonkette,'” they just threw out the unreferenced “Doktor Zoom,” since all those NPR-loving soccer moms are familiar with monsters who eat canned clams.

    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      Suddenly “eat canned clams” has a bit of a naughty ring to it…

      • Indeed. One wonders what Goop has inspired those soccer moms to do down there, that they need to be referred to as “canned”.

      • SisterArtemis

        kinda takes the monster-oriented sting out of it, ya know?

    • SeeTrain65

      Pfft. They don’t even know Wonkette still exists. Nor do they care.

      NPR might as well be Fox News, AFAIC.

      • phoenix00

        They’re as liberal as the Clinton News Network! Get with it!

  • chicken thief

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED PENDING CBO SCORE!!1!!!!!

  • chicken thief

    It’s amazing strategerizing like this that earned Paul Ryan his rep as a wonk.

  • fawkedifiknow

    If the Republicans had half a brain, and any heart at all, they would pass a new bill with the exact same terms in it as the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), call it “Trumpcare “, and send it to Trump. He’s so fucking stupid and uninformed, he would proudly sign it – not having a clue what it says beyond carrying his name on it.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Unfortunately, they really mean it when they say that people who get sick have only themselves to blame.

    • chicken thief

      And let that $800B in potential tax cuts just sit there?! Ya’ll jes hush yer mouth now, ya hear!

    • chicken thief

      Actually, I’ve proposed that before also too. The base would never know and would argue to their death that Trumpcare is way better than that jerb killing socialist Obamacare.

    • Khavrinen

      “If the Republicans had half a brain, and any heart at all”

      So you’re saying what we need is help from the Wizard of Oz…

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Greyhame

      Clearly it just accidentally fell down an elevator shaft …
      on to some bullets.

      • SeeTrain65

        “No. He die. He have heart attack and fell out of window onto exploding bomb, and was killed in a shooting accident.”

  • alpacapunchbowl

    What is it with republicans and premature ejaculation?
    And what kind of a dolt manages to get drunk enough off of Bumwiper Lite that he forgets to forward his dumbass bill to the Senate like he’s supposed to? Plus, Ryan’s from Wisconsin. Our shite beer of choice is Miller or PBR.

  • Yr. Gma

    Any girls throwing panties at you yet, Dok?

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      It’s NPR. They’re granny panties.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Diane Rheem panties.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          She probably wears lacy thongs, I bet.

  • Bitter Scribe

    It’s very simple: Laws passed by Democrats don’t count.

  • Well considering the news about Ailes yesterday I assume the Death Panels are operating at peak efficiency?

    • phoenix00

      Don’t give the wingnuts any more ideas!

  • Zyxomma

    I love my Obamacare. Seriously, the ONLY good thing about having such a low income is that I qualified for Medicaid and a policy with United Health. The clinic is a ten minute walk from home (I bring a book for wait times), and I was sent to some of the city’s finest hospital departments for colonoscopy and breast ultrasound (I’m a mammography refusenik; I paid for my own thermography years ago, and will get my next thermascan when insurance decides to pay for it). My doctors are excellent, and work WITH me and my holistic ways.

    Of course, that’s NYS and NYC. If I were a rural in a red state, I’d probably be panicking.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    wait, NPR quoted Dok Zoom?
    Awesome.

    • phoenix00

      He’s famous!

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