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Last night, if you read the LAMESTREAM media, or this morning, if you are sensible and wait to get your news from your Wonkette, you learned that Mike Flynn, the disgraced former national security adviser/actual literal foreign agent, had in fact informed the Trump transition team about his teeny little federal investigation, and how he was an actual literal foreign agent being paid by thugs in Turkey to do thuggy Turkey stuff.

You also learned that Mike Flynn, while being paid by Turkey, declined to RAID ISIS because it would have made Turkey :( So that was probably bad!

In charge of the transition team that Mike Flynn notified about his teeny little half-million-dollar payday was Vice President-elect Mike Pence.

Did Mike Pence know? Let’s ask Mike Pence!

NBC’s Hallie Jackson reports!

But is Mike Pence telling the truth????

Sadly, Mike Pence is not. Because he got a letter waaaaay back on November 18, from Rep. Elijah Cummings, the ranking member of the House Oversight Committee and Wonkette’s back-to-back and gunning-for-a-threefer Legislative Badass of the Year! And that letter said, “Dear Vice President-elect Mike Pence, This is just a note to Future You letting you know you probably shouldn’t lie about whether or not you knew Mike Flynn, who is about to NOT RAID ISIS BECAUSE TURKEY DOESN’T WANT HIM TO, is being paid so much bank by Turkey and is totally lying about it, because the answer is yes.”

Or you can go here to read the boring version.

Anyway, then Mike Pence lied a bunch about it, and is still lying about it today. Does Mike Pence get to be president?

Wonkette would never lie to you. Now give us money.

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  • calliecallie

    Mother will be disappointed.

    • jesterpunk

      Him and his mother might have sexy pillow talk about taking healthcare from the poors and preventing those people from voting with a little light treason thrown in.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        He and that hot young male intern, you mean.

        • jesterpunk

          So that is where TLM gets his material from. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I can’t place it, but it looks like his expression is that he’s taking a dump. ALL THE TIME. Is that about right?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think it looks like he’s trying to determine if his turd-moisture separator just failed.

      • coozledad

        It’s his Lancelot Link demur.
        “I’m just a filthy ape. Can’t help nothin'”

    • davej1s

      He has had so many facelifts that is the only expression left to him. I have never seen such stretched flesh.

  • lucidamente
    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      This is so good. Have to go over to Twitter and retweet that.

    • OddMan

      I am so impressed with Sarah Kendzior. I look at her and think how can that young lady be such an expert on International Affairs. She is one smart woman.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Probably started paying attending in 9th grade civics class, and hasn’t blinked yet.

    • coozledad

      Sarah is on goddamn fire.

  • JMP

    But the lying liar still hasn’t done anything truly immoral, like have a friendly conversation with a woman without his wife around.

    • SnarkON

      HA!

    • coozledad

      No wonder he looks so stiff. He’s got his hands duct taped to his sides.

    • goonemeritus

      Well or so he says.

  • Michael Smith

    Wait a minute.. Didn’t Fredo tell me earlier that he never met Johnny Ola? And now he says he’s gone to bars with him? Why would he lie about –

    Oh, shit.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Huh?

      • Michael Smith

        I was trying to make a Godfather II reference.

        • godsaidHA

          I got it!

        • SnarkON

          I got it, FWIW.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          I got it! Was coming here to add the smooch

        • MynameisBlarney

          Ah.
          I think I saw that once when I was like 14 or 15.

        • chazmanr

          I understood. However, please refrain from making any GFIII references for the sake of art.

          • Michael Smith

            No mention will be made of Sophia Coppola.

    • chiefkurtz

      That ain’t no fake, that’s why they call him ‘Superman’.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Lock. His. Ass. Up.

  • SnarkON

    So is Paul Ryan going to be our new daddy?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Power bottoms make terrible daddies.

      Is all I’m saying.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        He’d better hope you don’t have tapes!!

        • elviouslyqueer

          Not tapes, but “Shaving Ryan’s Privates” is on DVD.

    • dslindc

      I hope not. Being a walking Ayn Rand boner should be a disqualifying factor.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      No, mommy’s sick of his bullshit already.

    • Anna Rompage

      Nah, rumor has it he and McConnell were very aware & complicit of illegal Russian money funding a bunch of conservative super PACs…

      • willi0000000

        when they start, they have to be sure to nail both those merkins to the wall.

    • Alan

      Oh no, he’s cooked.

    • kaydenpat

      Naw. He needs to stay in the gym

  • Anna Rompage

    I’m telling you, Mike Pence is Vlad Putin’s 1/2 brother that was born with a more severe case of alcohol fetal poisoning than Vlad did…

  • BreakingDeadMen

    President Hatch. It isn’t that bad.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      I’ll take it.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Yeah, he’s at least veteran enough to remember when governing used to get done.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Nah, keep Trump. Make him suffer.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        He can suffer from jail.

    • dslindc

      He is a complete party hack, so it would go well for their agenda if they kept Congress

      • BreakingDeadMen

        It’s true, but he’s the old rational but evil GOP, not the new completely delusional and evil GOP. Reality based is better.

        • dslindc

          He’s had to flirt with the new side quite a bit more though, ever since the 2010 cycle.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            They all have…but at least he’s in on the joke. I don’t think Ryan is.

    • proudgrampa

      NO. That is NOT a good idea.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        It isn’t ideal. It’s better than President Trump, Pence or ZEGS, however.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        It’s a better idea that than the raging toddler traitor, the lying religious nutcase, or the Ayn Rand worshiper. I don’t like it but he’s the best legal option of the bad ones we have.

    • JMP

      The GOP Congress refuses to even consider impeachment, then their is a Democratic landslide in 2018 and both get deservedly kicked out, leaving us with President Pelosi. That would be nice.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        The GOP seems awfully confident that they’re untouchable which can only mean one thing, the fix is already in. 2016 was stolen and not just the POTUS election but several congressional races as well. They clearly think they can steal 2018 and 2020 too. They might be able to given how many people don’t even want to consider the possibility that election meddling may have gone beyond dark money, fake news, and hacking but may have involved flipping votes in digital voting machines in key precincts in key swing states.

    • kaydenpat

      He’s old so that’s the only good thing about that.

  • OddMan

    OT kinda like or not.
    Good explanation on how to remove the President without impeachment. Told with KO flair.

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/865277056929726464

  • Vincent Ricola

    Remember the time (like 3 days in December of 2016) when everyone was talking about how responsible Mike Pence was going to be the adult, GOP, shadow-president that handles Donald Trump’s bullshit and keeps everything on the right side of the law? Hahahahaha. I remember. Pepperidge farm remembers. Hahahahahaha. I hope he has to share a cell with Ghouliani.

    • Alan

      Hahaha.

    • Caepan

      And if Rudy 9/11 is forced to wear a dress to, um… “satisfy” his fellow prisoners, will that mean that Pence can’t be in a cell with him by himself?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That was actually a reasonable plan before everyone knew that ALL the main players on the R side of this drama are compromised by illegal connections with the Russians.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        People who’ve been paying attention to the right wing for the last several years already knew they were Russian stooges. The right wing media has been hard selling Russia and Putin to their gullible audiences for nearly a decade for a reason.

  • Mpeg

    Mike Pence won’t have little schoolkids to kick shove around anymore!

  • Lulu Mac
  • Cogswell

    BREAKING! Mike Pence Lying Still. For A Change.

    FIFY

    • Jamoche

      I think his wife would say he’s lying still all the time.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Chadwells
    • Cogswell

      I just can’t stop laughing at that; especially the top part.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Oh Race Bannon. Your quest to be the most powerful irrelevant man in US America hasn’t gone well. Tied up in a Sargasso Sea of Russian seaweed while screaming for your mummy.

  • SadDemInTex

    Who the fuck is going to be President?

    • Vincent Ricola

      I think anyone associated with the ЯИС should be disqualified on GP.

    • BadKitty904

      At the rate the GOP is going, I think the Governor of Rhode Island is next in line…

    • Crystalclear12

      How many Cesars can you pack in a year?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Betsy DeVos. You know it’s inevitable, right?

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Rick Perry comes before her in the line of succession, so we’ll all be dead before it gets to DeVos.

      • kaydenpat

        No no no. Ben Carson will be our first Grain Storying Pyramids President.

      • Rick Hill

        Davis has her own Russian ties

        • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

          Yup. Her mercenary brother acted as a go-between for Russia and the Trump campaign and her husband allowed the Trump Tower/Alfa Bank voter registration data mining operation to be funneled through the servers at his Spectrum Health operation in Michigan.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Dammit. I have to leave to update my State id–before I’m deported to Alaska. I was born there, but left as a kid and now HMS wants all birthdata on file. Took weeks to get my BS and my times up, but I know more schadenfreude is coming and I’ll miss it breaking!

    Oh well–if you don’t see me again, I’ll be living rough with the polar bears….

  • lucidamente

    Missing http://doghouseriley.blogspot.com more than ever . . .

  • Jamoche

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/334056-report-kushner-urged-trump-to-attack-after-special-counsel

    “President Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, Jared Kushner, reportedly advocated an “attack” response style over a more measured reaction in a White House huddle on Wednesday, according to a new report.”

    Don’t encourage him!

    Oh wait. Do.

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/tumblr_ljh0puClWT1qfkt17.gif

    • dslindc

      Wait. Jared speaks? When did this start?

      • Weird Fishes

        Ivanka must have slipped him a “talk” pill. So she can stay clean.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Just as stupid as his father-in-law. You can see why Trump likes him.

    • kaydenpat

      And what does a more “attack” style accomplish exactly? Trump is still going to get his behind investigated.

      • Jamoche

        Hollywood Mafia 101 – keep putting pressure on until the cops back down. Guess Donnie missed all the versions of The Untouchables.

    • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

      Apparently, Jared also encouraged Trump to fire Comey because Comey wanted the FBI to start investigating Jared’s sister for trying to sell visas to rich Chinese citizens in exchange for access to the White House.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Stop shaking your head, April. April! Stop it! Stop shaking your head!

  • BadKitty904
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The good news is that there will be almost no women to tempt Pence into immoral acts while he spends time in prison.

    • kaydenpat

      Always look at the bright side of life!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    For him to know it, wouldn’t Mike Pence have to have had relations with that information? How could he do that if he keeps his wife around so he doesn’t rape other women or informationz? So, it makes sense he didn’t know because his wife was there to protect him from being rapey to women and information.

    And he’ll be our next President later this year…

    • Crystalclear12

      Spiro Agnew.

  • Lulu Mac
  • lucidamente

    Now I understand Mike Pence’s policy never to consume alcohol alone in the company of the truth. Because he might wind up fucking the truth.

  • Pence is a mother fucker from what I hear.

  • lucidamente

    I’m old enough to remember Spiro Agnew. He was way more fun.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And Nelson Rockefeller, too. Those guys could flip some birds.

    • Weird Fishes

      He was a creep, but he was at least a moderately classy creep.
      Pence is just repellent.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He wasn’t any fun for me. But I suppose I was a nattering nabob of negativism :(

  • BadKitty904
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    thuggy Turkey stuff.

    Those Turkeys, with their droopy pants and gold chains…doing thuggy stuff.

  • proudgrampa

    I am exhausted from all this lyin’.

  • dslindc
    • kaydenpat

      “Then Benghazi!”

  • Chadwells
  • Pence thinks lying is the missionary position.

    • PabloDali

      Good one.

      There’s a reason why the word Jesuit became synonymous with Liar.

  • Beowoof14

    I just know that Shall not bear false witness thing will be forgiven cause of reasons.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Well, nobody has ever accused Pence of being smart.

    • BadKitty904

      You’d think the Koch Bros could afford a higher-quality mannequin.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Mother is so going to smack his behind! I’ll bet she even makes him go get his own willow switch.

    • kaydenpat

      Since Mother is his wife, he’s alright with that.

  • Rick Hill

    But he certainly can’t be lying because he’s christian™. Same way my wealthy clients wouldn’t scream at me to finish, limit my access forcing me to make double the trips and then make me wait two weeks to be able to wrap up and get paid. Because they’re christian™. It’s just unpossible.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    This has always confused me. How can Pence, a man so xtian that he won’t be alone with a woman not his wife, be associated with Dolt 45, a man who bragged about cheating on his wives? Doesn’t blatant hypocrisy even matter anymore?

    • Jamoche

      IOKIYA a Real True Christianist Republican

    • UnsaltedSinner

      No. But it’s sweet that you would think so.

    • Rick Hill

      Bothers me but then I’m not christian enough to have high morals

    • DrBigHead

      No it does not, especially when the pursuit of power is involved.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      To Republicans, blatant hypocrisy is not a bug, it’s a feature.

    • kaydenpat

      Great questions. That should also be asked of the Evangelicals who voted enthusiastically for Trump (even after he admitted to sexually assaulting women) but always talk about President Trump’s affairs.

      It’s always okay if a Republican did it.

      • Claire

        Christianity has always been a religion of “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you’re going to live under our rules and worship our god.” They tried the easy way with the culture wars. They lost. Now it’s fire and sword time, and they don’t care who they put in office as long as everyone else is forced to live under a theocracy.

    • Claire

      Pence is a Dominionist. They believe that making America Christian is a holy mandate of such urgency and righteousness than any act taken toward that end is okay, and they’re all saved anyway so it doesn’t matter.

    • Koch Blockula

      Jesus doesn’t like liars, Mike. Come clean. Jesus demands it.

  • Lulu Mac
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      oy vey.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I read POTUS’s statement and had to reboot my fucking brain afterwards.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Could someone at least teach him to say “nuclear weapons“?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        He can’t say focused long enough to way the “weapons” part.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        And to think we once made (ok, still make) fun of a man who pronounced it nu-kyuh-ler.
        Fuckin’ A.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      1. “[I]t’s stopping nuclear – ” Stopping nuclear WHAT?

      2. “[I]t shows we’re a divided, mixed-up, not unified country” … and it’s all the Democrats’ fault!

      *headdesk*

    • kaydenpat

      Isn’t it cute that he pretends to not notice that he is the biggest source of division in this country? Adorable.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And yet, the constant calls to lock up a political rival for reasons was totes cool and not-at-all divisive.

    • Michael Smith

      Does it really show that? Hmm. Then maybe Obama wasn’t just making America appear to be divided in order to increase his own influence?

    • miss_grundy

      We are “divided, mixed-up, not-unified” country because the journalists fell down on their jobs and chose ratings and circulation numbers over country. They also chose false equivalence arguments regarding Hillz and Dolt 45 because of said ratings and circulation numbers. Hillz may not have been pure for the millenials, Gen Xers and Yers but she was a more intelligent public servant than the asshat who is currently in the Oval Office. Also, she would not be embarrassing us on a daily basis by tweeting or speaking out of turn. Imagine what would be happening now with Hillz at the wheel?

      • willi0000000

        right now ? . . . i think we would be right in the middle (beginning actually) of another series of Benghazi and e-mails “investigations”

    • “Stopping nuclear”

    • Koch Blockula

      “It also happens to be a pure excuse for the Democrats having lost an election that they should have easily won because of the Electoral College being slanted so much in their way.”

      Um, no, the popular vote is slanted towards the Democrats. The Electoral College is slanted towards the Republicans.

      It’s Donnie’s brain that is divided, mixed-up, and not unified.

      • willi0000000

        “brain” assumes grey matter not in evidence.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      “we’re a divided, mixed-up, not-unified country”

      And so is Lola, LA LA LA LA LOLA!

  • Swampay

    So he knew (yup) and lied, or he didn’t know (nope) and is incompetent. Which is it, Mikey?

  • proudgrampa

    LOCK ‘EM ALL UP!!!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Mike “If I had had a Pence for every time they said treason.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Your guys going to beat the Red Devils? I’m rooting for you.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Oh yes we will. The youngsters are going to tear Jose a new one.

        • Oblios_Cap

          That’ll certainly make him pissy.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Saw the training today. Youngsters were in good spirit. The (slightly) older lads well rested. The thing Man United supporters keep hammering on that these kids are inexperienced is laughable. If you know anything about Dutch football you know the pressure in the Dutch academy is huge for Ajax youngsters. The way they are “welcomed” in Rotterdam is more pressure than any final to play and all our kids have experienced that at least once. Add to that they have now played four european knock out games against sides on paper stronger and I am convinced we will beat that cynical side.

            As an example see this performance of Matthijs de Ligt in the semis:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IyT4tbRPRs

            Bear in mind his friggin 17. Pay attention to the keeping off of Lacazette on minute 3 and the throw away gesture afterwards.

  • DainBramage
    • Beanz&Berryz

      No. He’s actually worthless…

      • UnsaltedSinner

        He may have some organs that could be useful to a decent person.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Technically, maybe. Morally, no.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Should probably post this one to the urban dictionary –

      trumpence (n.) – something of indeterminate but decidedly negative value.

      “That old filthy cat-peed sofa of yours is a trumpence; you’d have to pay me to haul it away.”

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I was thinking we should plan to make the midterms a single-issue election around impeachment but this is moving so fast even that idea seems lame now. Ryan and Pence are now waist-deep in the septic tank. How come McConnell is still out there? There has to be dirt on him to be unearthed. Come on, people, get to work!

    • jesterpunk

      Turtles wife got a position out of the deal.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Maybe the thing to do is dig up dirt on her then. I’ll take either one.

    • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

      Making the whole thing about impeachment could blow up in Democrats faces. They’d look like one-trick ponies who only oppose. They need to sell their agenda as well as impeachment. Increased minimum wage, moving toward single payer health care, strong public education, equal legal rights for all, sane people in office, etc.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – is anyone watching CNN right now? I think I just heard Carl Bernstein angrily shit on Wolf Blitzer, but I missed what he said?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      no, but i just saw the headline at their ewbsite RE times square…jeebus.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Good lord.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Cripes… But it’s classic “if it bleeds it leads” shit.

  • Mary Sandoras
    • jesterpunk

      Implying he had any credibility to begin with?

    • miss_grundy

      Just because he doesn’t have a big mouth like Dolt 45 doesn’t make him any less of a liar.

    • kaydenpat

      So when Trump goes, he goes with him. Good.

    • BadKitty904

      I think that would be because of the constant lying and stuff.

      • Mary Sandoras

        I’m just glad it’s getting traction in the headlines.

        • BadKitty904

          Amen. Pence has been hiding in the shadows, waiting for Trump to go down so he can step into the Oval Office. But he’s just as dangerous as Donnie.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      That’s like Roger Ailes has a growing viability problem.

  • Joe Beese

    You know… I never trusted that guy!

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You’re not alone, his wife doesn’t trust him either.

    • kaydenpat

      You have been vindicated.

  • Crystalclear12
    • kaydenpat

      He actually stuck to his principles and has remained anti-Trump unlike some Conservatives who opposed Trump during the election cycle and waited until Trump won to start praising him.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Well, regardless of political leanings, if someone is being honest about a thing, then they’re not the problem. We gotta stay on point and get this sideshow out of the White House.

    • Claire

      I disagree with Rick Wilson on basically everything in life, but he’s right on about Trump and the GOP congress.

  • lucidamente

    Wow. This guy keeps showing up like a bad penny.

    • therblig

      that’s the one with the republican on it – not many people know that.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    With this administration, I’m never sure if the person involved is playing stupid or is being stupid. But in this case… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1cacc666cefa608faa8b5c8fc4a3e29671315e7a60fd99d69a0dc553eeaaee02.jpg

    • Blackest Noobs

      they’re bullshitters and really bad at it.

  • jaspersdad

    Mother do you think they’ll drop the bomb? / Mother do you think they’ll like this song? / Mother do you think they’ll try to break my balls?

    https://youtu.be/73UMWoXRbjg

    • kaydenpat

      LOL!! Because he calls his wife “Mother”. Hmmmm.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      “Mother, should I be the President?”

      NO!

      • jaspersdad

        Ooooh aah, mother, should I build the wall?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        “Mother do you think they’ll try to break… my balls?”

        Well, son. You kinda asked for it, didn’t you?

  • Fartknocker

    I just realized that the phrase “Flynn Turkey ties” would probably be an excellent addition to the Trump line of fine neck fashion this Christmas. I shall send Ivanka an e-mail and my non disclosure agreement.

  • CatDog

    OMG Pence, open your mouth, the line is growing …

  • kaydenpat

    Pence is worse than Trump on so many levels. Take him down!

  • chiefkurtz

    Once these guys get immunity for collusion and obstruction, they’ll be singing like canaries.

  • BadKitty904

    Just out of curiosity – did someone think Pence would tell the truth about knowing of treason in the current GOP Administration since last year?

  • roberteye

    Russian dressing on his collar

    • A Groucho Marxist

      “dressing”

  • Chadwells

    OT: Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, jackass.

    “Chaffetz will resign at end of June”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/334109-chaffetz-announces-resignation-at-the-end-of-june-report

    • jesterpunk

      Why wait, leave now shit for brains. Or is that when his new job at Fox starts?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Why would anyone believe anything this wishy washy SOB says? I will believe it when he’s gone, not before.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Go upthread, he did it.

      • Chadwells

        LOL! Just read it!

  • maxneanderthal

    Turkey+ Republicans =++un-good. Who can forget the all time greatest Sarah Palin interview, evah…

  • Vincent Ricola

    Thou shall not lie.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Thou shall not lie*

      *unless you’re a Republican, because GOP Jebus says that’s OK

    • maxneanderthal

      I thought that was “Thou shalt not get caught- in which case you may squeal like a jack-knifed eighteen wheeler of honeymooning hogs”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Flynn will flip on Pence. So Pence should get ahead of it. But he won’t, because he still believes in the Reagan Commandment.

  • Me not sure

    I go away for three (3!) hours and when I get back there’s a fuck ton more shit that’s gone down. I can’t keep up with this! Acckkkk!

  • DrBigHead

    OK, who will be the first journalist to ask him if he would like to clarify his earlier remarks?

  • BadKitty904

    But…but…but aren’t the Turks MUSLINS?!?1?!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturer of fabric products.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Like the Cotton-eyed Joes.

    • whitroth

      Did you think they were Satinists?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Satinistas libel.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      More of a brocade.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Almost like that Clinton/Lynch tarmac thing? Cool…cool.

    “Trump stops by meeting with McCarthy”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/334107-trump-stops-by-meeting-with-mccarthy

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Jesus this idjit is so fucking obvious…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Did Trump hand him a dead fish?

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • jesterpunk
    • Vincent Ricola

      “This is how we know we’re a real family here.” – Paul Ryan’s opinion

      • whitroth

        You’ll be in adjoining jail cells?

      • Crank Tango

        Was it just me or did that sound super molestery? Like don’t tell daddy’s secrets to anyone…

      • BeachBum

        Yeah and who know who else had a “family” ?

    • Jamoche

      “The president’s continued loyalty to his ousted former aide”

      Loyalty? Or a child who hasn’t yet grasped object permanence throwing a tantrum because their favorite dolly is out of sight?

      • BadKitty904

        Or being blackmailed. again.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I guess Flynn must have the pee hooker DVD.

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So how long do we have to wait after we impeach Donnie until we start impeachment hearing on Pence?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Concurrently?

    • At this point, I’m hoping we can skip the impeachment process and just get them all fitted for some orange jumpsuits (and maybe pink boxers, depending on where they end up…)

    • Marion in Savannah

      Looky here — can’t we get a bulk deal? It’d save the taxpayers OODLES.

    • Donnie will toss Pence to the lions because he really is that stupid

    • Lulu Mac

      Technically, you don’t have to wait. They can be impeached simultaneously.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Nah, Pence will resign first, then Dampnut, and we’ll end up with Gerry Ford.

        • spacecat in space

          And then Silver SpringChevy Chase will go back to SNL and break a hip in the first sketch of the season.

          • Cliff Hendroval

            Remember all those times that Gerald Ford groused to the newspapers about Chevy Chase making fun of him on SNL?

          • spacecat in space

            No, but I’ll take your word on it.

    • not_vh

      how do you impeach this scandalous a presnit?

      slowly slowly, carefully, and completely. so that no one ever again dares to try this again.

  • Goddammit, that face is the dictionary definition of “smarmy”.

    • Eileen Besse

      AND punchable. [With votes.]

    • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

      I dunno. Paul Ryan and Sean Hannity are also contenders.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh yeah, hannity’s a good one. That smarmy thing he seems to do when he asks stupid loaded questions? “why isn’t being close to russia good for the nationa?”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        For the second time today, I get to type:

        Ted Cruz Liebulz!

      • BadKitty904

        I would’ve gone with “Flatulence,” but still…

        • DainBramage

          I don’t know. Looks like, “I just sharted.”

      • not_vh

        smarmus universalus

        see smarmus texus, samrmus indianus above

    • Lulu Mac
      • Swampgas_Man

        That’s the definition of “accidentally caught his dick in his zipper.”

      • DainBramage
      • not_vh

        i’m not sure if its the genus or the species that is common. but one is smarmus texus the other is smarmus indianus

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Actually the first one is smarmus canadius-cubano, but the plumage is so similar it’s hard to tell them apart.

      • seriously TX. WTF is wrong with you?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This is getting to be so routine nowadays…

    LOCK HIM UP!

  • whitroth

    THANK YOU for the link to Cummings’ letter!

    I think I need to email my Congressman and Senators….

    Flynn’s going to drag *both* of them down, down, down, to that burnin’ ring of IMPEACH!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Lock Them Up! Lock Them Up!

    So, 45 is tweeting again. Apparently, a Special prosecutor is “bad for our nation”. Hmm.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    So if Trump is impeached and Pence can’t replace him, what happens ?

    • Lulu Mac

      Paul Ryan

      • Blackest Noobs

        if not Ryan then it goes to the President pro tempore of the Senate, and if not that guy, then the Secretary of State….

        but if Ryan becomes the President, it wouldn’t be all good news for the Republicans, Ryan barely has the House held together as its Speaker, and he was the only viable Republican who could do the job of Speaker, even though he has been doing a shitty job of it, but there is no one else in the entire House to be Speaker….it’s is completely a house of card for the Republicans….whatever they do it is LOSE-LOSE.

        i just don’t see a WIN for them in anyway possible…this is all going SOUTH for them and really the dumbfucks shouldve taken a knee for the 2016 Presidential election. they fucked themselves.

        • Meccalopolis

          Always with the hubris

      • Ms.Moon

        Paul Ryan is going down he knew about Trump being in league with the Russians and since Trump is “family” now he was willing to let it slide. It’s on tape and everything.

    • jesterpunk

      Lying Ryan unless he goes down too.

      • *until.

        Fixed.

        • jesterpunk

          It was just a prank bro.

          Paul Ryan.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        After Ryan, Orin Hatch.

        After Hatch, Tex Russiason.

      • Jenny

        He is going down. There’s a reason Chaffe is running away.

      • BeachBum

        “Lying Ryan” ! Tippecanoe and Lying Too ! Yes We Lie ! A Lie in Every Pot !

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Fantastic.

        It’s like when Lance Armstrong was stripped of his Tour de France wins, and they couldn’t give the titles to anyone else, because all the runners-up had doping problems too.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Yes it is ! Thank you very much. I can’t imagine what the presidency would look like with some of these people…

  • Trump thinks Pence is just waiting for a bus to be under

    • BeachBum

      This administration definitely needs moar public transportation of the multi passenger type.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    gah, why is there no further news on Trump’s big middle east adventure.

    Surely by now he’s already called a palestine a mexican, made 3 crass jokes about jews, and asked where the nearest mcdonald’s is?

    • jesterpunk

      That was before breakfast.

    • Marion in Savannah

      He’s about to start a press conference (!), but apparently MSNBC is letting Little Marky Rubio toss him under the bus first.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Just to clarify — I’m not watching (I’ve got brane cells to preserve) but Mr. MinS called me in to show me that. Then I fled the room again.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          probably for the best – is the hubby outfitted with beer, xanax, and mittens on his hands (to protect the fragile electronics from punches).

          • Marion in Savannah

            He’s got a much tougher constitution than I do, and I’m praying that the COPD will slow him down enough so I don’t have to replace the TV…

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            oof, sorry about that. The TX dad had the COPD.

            I didn’t mean to be shitty, sorry. : (

          • Marion in Savannah

            You’re never shitty — ever! The COPD is a fact of life, which we’d rather not have to deal with, but there it is. And it may slow him down enough so that I don’t have to replace the TV. (He always did throw like a girl, so I’m not afraid of him throwing things…)

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, it forced the former staff sgt. (dad) to slow down. This is a man who worked nights, but got up in the middle of the night to do the occasional chore.

            Best wishes to you both.

        • BeachBum

          I like him. He’s a funny guy.

      • BeachBum

        Gawd he will forever be Little Marky !

        • Persistent Demme

          Isn’t that a Trump “Little Marco” thing?
          Or was it said before the Trumpster used it?

    • cmd resistor
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ah thanks, and good story.

        For some reason I thought the whole helicopter on an ancient buiding thing meant they were there today.

        Much appreciated, saved much pointless web scouring.

        • Marion in Savannah

          I am STILL insisting that his pilot should have offered to “drop him off” at Masada…

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, he’s still around today to cause trouble, like telling a bunch of press people at lunch that the special counsel was going to be I think harmful to the country…..So much to keep up with.

    • maxneanderthal

      Radio Jerusalem, on 208khz. But to you, 199….

  • Blackest Noobs

    jesus! it just get worse and worse for the Trump Administration.

    Thanks America!

  • goonemeritus

    I stand by my comment that I didn’t eat the last piece of cherry pie. It hurts that my wife finds my denial lacking in credibility due to the crust crumbs on my shirt and the traces of pie filling in my mustache.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      If she has the tape, tell her you were just joking about not eating the pie.

    • BeachBum

      Only circumstantial evidence. Its your word against the dog.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        the dog’s a holdover from the obama administration, you can’t trust it.

        • spacecat in space

          Poor Bo. It’s like Home Alone, but with a dog and tragic.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Dog’s part of the Derp State Coup, but other than that, whozagoodboy?

          • Marion in Savannah

            YOUzagoodboy!

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Yesyouare! Yesyouare!

  • schmannity

    But Pence is a godly gay-hatin’ Christian who cannot tell a lie.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “God fearin’, gay hatin’, woman adverse Christian.”

      • Cogswell

        But he’s a gooooooooooooood God fearin’, gay hatin’, woman adverse Christian.

        • maxneanderthal

          I think every adjective before xtian is superfluous- they go without saying…

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        So, the regular kind?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I’m gonna tell you this, because I know you want to be eloquent, true and correct: “averse” not adverse, in this context. Two different things.

    • laughingnome

      Remember St. Peter denied Christ 3 times and ended up being the first pope. The lesson is you can lie to perpetuate the faith.

  • LadyLaz

    good job congressman Cummings. Its going to be the great paper trail bureaucracy that brings these guys down.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • FROM WIKIPEDIA:

      Snowballing is the human sexual practice in which one person takes someone else’s semen into his or her mouth and then passes it to the mouth of the other, usually through kissing.

      On the plus side for Pence it doesn’t necessarily have to involve a Scarlet Temptress.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Now there’s a bit of information that I REALLY, REALLY, and I mean REALLY did not need…

      • MynameisBlarney
      • MynameisBlarney

        Also, too; “passes it to the mouth of the other, usually through kissing.”

        *blinks slowly several times*

        Yeah…I’mma just gon leave that one alone.

        • NastyBossetti

          Having seen the movie Clerks a couple decades ago, I thought I was already inured to knowing what snowballing is. But then someone had to bring Pence into it, and now I’m traumatized.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Once we impeach Trump, Pence should be easy. Arrange for him to be alone in the same room with a woman who is not his wife. He’s already admitted he will be unable to keep himself from having sex with her. Maybe we could pay Michele Bachman…she’s looking for a job.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      If it wasn’t for blow jobs she’d be unemployed.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, there’s always the gay-conversion grift Marcus runs.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        My question is does she use Marcus for dick bait or does he use her for dick bait?

        • O4FSake

          Yes. They have a symbiotic relationship.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Heh heh, I actually thought of you when I used the word, ‘bait’. ;))

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      KaC will likely need a job at that point too. And she’s already proved that she’s a shameless whore…

      • Pisto75666

        Is HSN hiring?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        But apparently she showers regularly, so that’s good at least.

    • Yr. Gma

      Having sexual relations with that woman is not evil unless the president in question is a Democrat.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right..I forgot. If Pence does it, it will because Jesus forced him.

    • WeaselPoo

      I like the cut of your jib. Do you have a newsletter to which I may subscribe?

  • Miles Monroe

    OT: Is Trump’s personal physician actually noted weed cultivation author Jorge Cervantes?!
    Cervantes (with Vicente Fox)
    https://cdn.weednews.co/wp-content/uploads/jorge-cervantes-marijuana-cannabis-min-678×381.jpg

    “Dr. Harold N. Bornstein” (sounds like a stoner alias IF EVER WE HEARD ONE)
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/6Rxe6b7rDr8/maxresdefault.jpg

    WHOA IF TRUE

  • schmannity
    • Chadwells

      ESKIMOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    • Chadwells

      Only saw the first frame and thought of the Let’s Go To Prison scene….

  • WeaselPoo

    Host: Let me turn to Vice President Mike Pence and—-
    Pence: Who?
    Host: You
    Pence: It never happened, I wasn’t there, and even if I was it didn’t occur and you must be thinking of someone else, and I’ve always said that except for the times it was someone else who wasn’t me. Vote Quimby!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • anon_the_great

    Get Pence First

    • not_vh

      yes slowly slowly take down the support system

    • DainBramage

      That would just lead to VP Ivanka.

      • Rags

        VP must be confirmed by absolute majority of both Houses of Congress. Ivanka is a shoe-in.

        • DainBramage

          Yes, but which shoes will she wear?

    • bobbert

      I love the classics.

  • I hear there was a un-escorted vagina nearabouts, too!

  • Yr. Gma

    So we could do Watergate era redux. Pence resigns first (as Agnew did) and then Donnie appoints a new VP (as Nixon did with Ford). Then the new guy (the Ford wannabe) can appoint his VP after Donnie resigns and we get Nelson Rockefeller again. (Yes, it was even more confusing when it happened in the 70s.) Then we can again have both a President and a VP that nobody voted for. Those were good times.

    • not_vh

      i have no context of the original. but i would like to dream. pence resigns, trump hoping for mercy (or any other reason) makes hillary the vp, then hillary appoints kaine her vp.

      that will be ossome.

      • cmd resistor

        All of them could just rapture.

      • whitroth

        No, no… Pelosi (more likely than my favorite, Jan Schakowsky….)

        • god i LOVE ME SOME JAN.

          are you in her district? i miss it by about a mile, but i’ve been working with her since the ACA started. love her SO MUCH.

          • whitroth

            When I lived in Chicago, both times, I was. Actually, I remember when she was first elected, and forget town halls, she went to meet her constituents at supermarkets.

          • and you know she still does. right after the election she met with 7 of us at the deerfield library to talk about the ACA (that’s my day job and as you know, she’s a huge part of it). she was so motivating. it was the first time i felt positive since 11/9.

    • President in Exile Firefly
    • Carole

      At this point, I would settle for the exhumed corpses of Gerry Ford and Nelson Rockefeller.

      • whitroth

        Wasn’t it Nelson that died in, um, interesting circumstances?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So does anyone else think that Dolt 45 wanting Flynn back in the WH has something to do with Flynn defying the Senate subpoena?

    • Gorillionaire

      DING DING DING

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I hear he’s a good man.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        And a good man is hard to find…easy to buy though judging by Flynn’s actions.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Quick cut: Dolt 45 divorces Melania and gay marries Flynn. A wife cannot be forced to testify against her husband in a court of law!

      [Cue the Turtles; So Happy Together]

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Sounds reasonable in Trumplandia.

  • Pisto75666

    Oh JOY. Special Prosecutor Mueller’s law firm represented Trump’s daughter and Manafort http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-mueller-idUSKCN18E084?il=0

    • Jenny

      Awww man!

    • Lulu Mac

      Oops.

      • Pisto75666

        Upthread someone commented that he resigned from the firm so, hopefully there’s still hope.

    • Marion in Savannah

      He’s resigned from the firm, and the fact that the firm represented them doesn’t mean that he was involved. However, the optics do stink.

      • Pisto75666

        Wow, that was quick. So much going on, so little time to keep up.

        • LadyLaz

          He had to resign. Law firms represent a lot of people. Don’t assume that Mueller is sullied by this.

          • Pisto75666

            Also from that same article: “Mueller left Wilmer Hale this week but faces a Justice Department ethics requirement that could bar him for a year from investigating anyone represented by his former firm.”

      • whitroth

        He’s resigned… as opposed to Certain Other People, who still control all of their businesses…

    • Claire

      That law firm is huge, though. It’s not three people in cheap suits in a room with filing cabinets, which is kind of my default image of “law firm.” I’m not prepared to read a whole lot into it yet.

      • Pisto75666

        True. OTOH from that same article: “Mueller left Wilmer Hale this week but faces a Justice Department ethics requirement that could bar him for a year from investigating anyone represented by his former firm.”

        Not exactly anything glaring but, it seems a little fishy IMO.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Yep. It sounds like Rosenstein was able to look like did something good but still protect his master.

        • Claire

          I agree that there’s a subtle but distinct odor of fish happening here. Preet Bharara vouched for him on Twitter, though, and it would break my heart to have to give the side-eye to Preet Bharara, so I’m withholding judgment for now. Any shenanigans and I’ll get judgy again in a hurry.

          • Pisto75666

            Oh same here. I’m as judgy as they come but the older I get the less nitpicky I am. Good people make terrible decisions sometimes.

        • Shibusa

          If he can’t work on this for a year, Rosenstein has to pick somebody equally competent and nonpartisan.

          • Pisto75666

            Good luck with that.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      They’re slinging mud, folks. Anything to discredit or disqualify him.

  • Mavenmaven

    If it is going to be the 70s again, this time i want a Mike Pence watch.
    http://www.litkicks.com/sites/default/files/spiroagnewwatch.jpg

  • Trump at “working lunch meeting with Turkish President Erdogan.” (Pence is eclipsed by Trump’s swollen head in the photo) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c315b80bb20a9f170381bdb3f8bc084c59988d8901d78af9a5c35235a3a30ca7.jpg
    I’m embarrassed for US.

  • chicken thief

    I don’t think the memo from Cummings is that damming because I’m pretty sure Pence is too fucking stupid to be able to read.

    • Blerg

      Reading is sinful and must be avoided by god-fearin’ Xtians

  • cmd resistor

    So Trump is doing a press conference with the Columbian prez right now. I was reading a live blog which said he looked like he was pissed but holding it together better than they expected, perhaps due to Xanax.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald on teevee speaking of the Colombian cocoa problem. Hershey and Ovaltine stocks crash.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Trump’s just getting a refill for his 9 day trip.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Except for Gorsuch, all of his success so far is in shortselling.

  • Carole

    If he shakes his head like that at Sheriff Clarke, will he be preemptively beaten down?
    Asking for a friend.

    • La forza del resistino

      Too white to elicit Clarke’s wrath.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Don’t let that Chiorboy image fool you. He’s just as evil, incompetent and corrupt as the rest of them.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Pence might not be as incompetent as Trump.

      • Lori

        That’s why he’s scarier than Trump.

    • TundraGrifter

      It wasn’t God who made choirboys.

      • whitroth

        I thought it was the priest/minister….

        • H0mer0

          Ah, that esplains why he looks like he’d be sucking cock in Narnia.*

          *anyone remember who gets credit? I would like it to be Charlie Pierce but I don’t think he gets that snarky.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Trump has dementia and Pence is a sociopath. Looking good, America.

    • whitroth

      But they’re the Greatest demented and sociopathic rulers *anywhere*. See?!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Jealous.

  • Greyhame

    I’m sure a perfectly honest guy like Pence would be perfectly happy to repeat all of this under oath … in front of a congressional select committee … during an 11-hour testimony. Right?

    • TundraGrifter

      Grill him like a shrimp on the barbie.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m not sure he actually cares. I imagine that he, like most politicians, would suddenly have trouble remembering much of anything.

  • thixotropic jerk
  • Dave Wayne

    Just realized that look on his face is not “I would never lie to you.” but ” I just want you to know that lying to you makes me feel really bad but it’s for my. . . I mean, it’s for your own good. Don’t thank me, I’m just that kinda guy-ask mommy.”

  • crabbychic

    I figured Pence was as dumb as a box of hair, so then what? Paul Ryan? The man with the world’s most punchable face? He’s a joke. Then does it go to Orrin Hatch I think? This whole thing is just a big pile of shit.

    • JD Mulvey
      • crabbychic

        I do hate Lyin’ Ted, but he’s so open about being a douche. Paul Ryan pretends to be a good guy and he’s really a cowardly little bitch. Ugh.

        • starfanglednut

          Ryan is the fucking worst, and also, I believe, the most dangerous.

          • Bitter Scribe

            IK,R? He has this way of convincing journalists that it’s just so reasonable to charge unemployed people $800 a month for health care.

          • irishdave3

            Of course “convincing journalists” is a high step over a very low threshold….

          • geoffalnutt

            It’s okay. He’s under investigation, too.

          • crabbychic

            Yes. That’s it. Thank you. He acts like he’s the calm, smart one when really he’s a simpering little – AARGH! HE MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS EDDIE HASKELL FACE!!!!

          • Buzz1313

            Eddie Haskell or Eddie Munster..?

          • crabbychic

            Looks like Eddie Munster acts like Eddie Haskell

          • starfanglednut

            Right? So fucking smug and smarmy while he literally murders people.

          • Ms.Moon

            Ryan is caught on tape saying that Trump is “Family” and if he’s a Russian plant you don’t say anything about it so I think he’s good and burned.

          • irishdave3

            Wha? Like a crime family I expert guest!

        • Buzz1313

          It helps that the MSM enabled him. Paul Ryan needs to get Eric Cantored

      • Lori

        Congress would never approve him. They all hate him.

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        I’d appreciate a trigger warning before showing that *shudder*

      • Pisto75666
    • Lori

      If Pence resigns in advance of an indictment Trump gets to pick a new VP. Assuming that person is approved by Congress before Trump gets removed from office that person would be president 45b.

      • georgiaburning

        Jared?

        • Lori

          I want to say that Congress wouldn’t approve him, but who the hell knows with that bunch of jerks.

        • LucindathePook

          First Jewish president, yay!

      • Shibusa

        Pretty sure it won’t be Kevin McCarthy.

    • pianoplayer1

      I am all for Nancy Pelosi going to the Oval Office. The wingers hate her as much as they hate HRC.

      • HogeyeGrex

        This is why I’m resigned to watching this dumpster-fire-on-a-slow-motion-train-wreck for another year rand a half. We need to have a Democratic Congress in place when the final straw drops.

  • Oh god, if you’re taking requests, please let Trump’s implosion take out the entire top tier of Republican evildoers, at least as far down as, say, Steve Scalise. As much as I would revel in Dumb Donnie’s impeachment, I don’t like our prospects under President Pence (or President Ryan, or President Hatch, or…) much better.

    • there’s been loads of comments like this all over today but:

      it may be better to have chaos than a stable administration. a stable admin will get a lot more legislating done.

      not that trump can’t do damage amidst the chaos.

    • pianoplayer1

      Pray for all the DOP down, all the way to school board member.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I’m hoping they do fuck all about it until ’18, resulting in a complete thunderfuck repudiation of an election, followed by a swift impeachment. I expect Pence to have done a common Agnew right about then, and the new Dem Congress ain’t approving nobody. Boom. Placeholder President Pelosi. Who promptly fires every fucking rat turd hired by this administration.

      Bonus round: Gorusch impeached. His High Crime? Accepting the fucking nomination by a traitor.

      Hey. A boy can dream.

  • Paperless Tiger

    The Liars’ Club is getting damn near as big as the Grand Old Party, by gosh!

    • Thorn Spike

      That Venn diagram is going to be a damn near perfect circle.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Apparently last year, at some time, I am not sure when. I was in India and Africa for awhile, maybe then. But during this time it became OK for GOP politicians to lie, commit treason, and become Russian agents, and illegal for a woman to run for president. If anyone knows the exact date, please advise.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      That Shit goes back like 50 years now. At least.

  • Shibusa

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlMq2NrXaobCOju/giphy.gif
    Well done, Rebecca Schoenkopf. Well done.

    • i’mjustaskingthequestion

      Can’t stop looking at the woman behind him. “Oh fuck the camera is on me…”

      • Ducksworthy

        I’m in a picture with Mike Pence. My great grandchildren will still be feeling the shame.

      • pianoplayer1

        She is avoiding looking at the camera, as if that blocks the camera’s view of her. (I would do the same thing.)

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    We’re going to need a bigger cell.

    • Shibusa
    • LucindathePook

      I was amazed to find out that 48 of Nixon’s Watergaters went to prison. I mean, I lived through it, and used to sing the Haldeman, Erlichman, Mitchell and Dean song, but I didn’t realize it was so vast. I cannot wait to see what the score is this time. (Well, yes, I can, but only till the 2018 election gives us a majority in Congress.)

      • pianoplayer1

        Remember Crazy G. Gordon Liddy? He is still alive!

        • HogeyeGrex

          He made a fantastic villain on Miami Vice. When the going got nasty, you’d swear he’d said those lines before.

        • LucindathePook

          Yes! Holding his hand over a candle flame. Loyal. Wonder if he’s looking for a government job these days.

        • irishdave3

          Evil is FOREVER as you know!

    • zerosumgame0005

      put a wall around Mar-a-lago and Dumpster won’t even notice

    • puredog

      We’re gonna need a biglyer number of Democrats.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Does Mike Pence get to be president?

    Sure, if he can wait until Trump is impeached or quits.

    • Incoming Ham

      If it is found he had knowledge of what was going on or participated in a cover up, nope.

      • The timing is important. If the Office of VP goes vacant, the President nominates a replacement. Both houses of Congress must approve the nominee by a simple majority. If there’s enough time for a nomination and confirmation to go through, we will very likely be OK.

        If both President and VP are vacant, Speaker of the House (Paul Ryan) becomes ACTING president – and everything goes out the window, because there’s nothing in the Constitution that says what happens next.

        Somehow, I think the Democrats in Congress won’t sit by and let Ryan get anywhere near the White House.

        • Iron Monkey

          Ronnie Raygun was acting President for 8 years.

    • James Lamere

      How many goats has he sacrificed so far ?

  • geoffalnutt

    Come on, now. White Jesus told him to.

    • The Wanderer

      Edgar Winter?

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Frankenstein immediately began playing in my head.

  • Incoming Ham

    Blah blah blah Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness blah blah blah…

  • chascates

    Almost nothing is worse than a lying right-wing evangelical. Except a lying right-wing evangelical Vice-President.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Except a lying right-wing evangelical President.

      • Ducksworthy

        The Handmaid’s Tale is streaming on Hulu.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          The Handmaid’s Tale is streaming on Hulu C-SPAN.

    • pianoplayer1

      Even worse, he is a Dominionist.

  • Christopher Boscarino

    I would be happy about this if Paul Ryan wasn’t next in line to inherit the throne. I am not sure which would be worse, Prez Pence or Prez Ryan.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The thought of a president Ryan fills me with dread.

      • bobbert

        Less so than the prior alternatives. Ryan has bamboozled the rubes into thinking he is smrt, but he is not.

    • Don’t worry, there is bound to be dirt on him also!

    • pianoplayer1

      Ryan dreamed of ending Medicaid while at keggers in college. What kind of 19-year-old dreams of removing access to health care from poor children? Why wasn’t he throwing up, like everyone else? Or, at least going outside for a “smoke”?

      • Christopher Boscarino

        He was exposed to Ayn Rand, like many other college students. Most people outgrow her philosophy as their brains mature. Ryan – apparently not.

    • irishdave3

      And warming up is Senator Orrin of Fetus Face!

  • Scooby

    Now not only is Nixon being replaced as the worst but is Agnew too!

    • ken_kukec

      Anything to say for yourself in response, Mr. Vice President?

      No lo contendere.”

      • J M Mtz

        I used that defense when I was 18. They told me that it meant I was guilty. I’m 60 now, now I know better. Pence is complicit.

    • Popillius

      Imma vote for Cheney as worst of the worst.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara
    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Did he do it live?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Fuck it!

    • thixotropic jerk

      Too bad he didn’t just stay in that backwater, we are all the worse off.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He’s far better looking as a young man than I would have imagined. I always wondered why he had the personality of someone who thought he was good looking.

    • Popillius

      How funny – I went to high school with “Rex” Smith. Rex was a cute guy who got elected Class President – had about 15 minutes of fame and that was it. Terrible actor but cute guy.

    • J M Mtz

      repression results

  • Panika MCD

    this is why Karen doesn’t want him seeing other generals without her along to supervise!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The Pence Family Values Rules sound like a perverted Dominionist version of Swinger Club Rules.

      Mike can fuck over the country as long as Mommy gets to watch.

  • geoffalnutt

    Mike Pence is lying?? Unpossible!! He’s so Jesusy!

    • J M Mtz

      My wife lets me touch my balls.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Soon to be President Pence is merely practicing his lying for when he makes the big time. Trump didn’t reach that level over night.

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    So the impeachment will be a two-fer? (Hope, hope!)

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Triple-play since the Ryan tape puts him squarely in the conspiracy.

      • J M Mtz

        I’m using my Santa wish.

  • Buzz1313

    I’m convinced Mike Pence has a house with a secret room where he “entertains” female guests. (Put the lotion in the fuckin’ basket!).

    • irishdave3

      But if Mike The Dence be Presidentin could she put the Emolument in the basket…

      • J M Mtz

        and your dad is cia

        • irishdave3

          Did you want buy the nekkid pictures of you Mother from him that are stored in The Company Vault at Langely?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’d look under the crawl space for dead bodies and clown makeup.

  • pianoplayer1

    Mike Pence is a Dominionist. Dominionists believe lying is fine as long as the falsehoods serve the furtherance of their/God’s plan. (Hey, you cannot make this stuff up.)

    • HogeyeGrex

      This is, of course, also something they regularly accuse Muslims of.

      Because… say it with me: “It’s always projection with these people.”

      • Sarah E. Grove

        Yes! “Projection” is THE word and deed for today, as President Stupid-Ass calls James Comey a “nut job.”

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, Rebecca.

  • Run2Live

    Mike Pence is Brick Tamland with white hair! Swear to God.
    https://youtu.be/QN8j8wLmKIA

  • phoenix00

    Overstuffed underfed insecure Q-tip says what?

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