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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Ralph Gauer

    What was it Yakov said? “In America, justice obstructs YOU!”

    • GoutMachine

      In the annals of history, the epigraph for the Trump era will be written by Yakov.

  • FlemmishSpy

    We count on the Ruskies to complete the historical record of this administration.

    • DrBigHead

      Pretty frightening, huh?

  • schmannity
  • memzilla Ω
  • OneYieldRegular

    NSC officials are keeping Trump’s name in as many briefings as possible because he will reportedly pay attention if he sees his name. That’s not a joke, that’s true.

    They should also assign a monetary value to each level of intel classification so that Trump can get some inkling of what they might mean.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Or hotness scale.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Whore diamonds.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Sing along with me kiddos:
    It’s beginning to look a lot like treason
    aaaat this time of year.

    • JohnBull

      It stinks like a horse’s pen
      Screwing our country again

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Jeebus that’s a long summary. Hope we haven’t broken you, Dominic.

    And the Congresscritters continue to scatter like roaches in the light. If these people can’t publicly defend their position to the folks who voted for them, they need to just man up, save their own asses and ask for a special prosecutor. Trump’s going down in 2018 regardless, if the Dems take over. The rules of what to do in terms of self-preservation have changed. Of course, that’s “logic.” They may not know that dance.
    https://twitter.com/edatpost/status/864801848577884160

    • Wat? Who? Trump? Comey? who are they?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        GOP lawmakers.

    • GoutMachine

      That’s the thing, right there. Besides the fact that calling for a special prosecutor is, like, the right thing to do, in the long run it’s the smart thing to do politically.

      Then again, these mouth breathers can’t see past their own tiny dicks, so …

    • snark-lurker

      i think we know why: CHICKENs!

    • Yeah, sorry I was late this morning!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Hey, it’s obvious why. Great work!

    • artem1s

      I hope this is the sign that the GOP is abandoning him and not just that Ryan pulled an emergency vote to spend all the SS reserves on the Build The Wall kickstarter.

    • The Wanderer

      LOL

    • bupkus231

      “…If these people can’t publicly defend their position to the folks who voted for them…”

      They ( the folks who voted for these scumbags ) don’t care – thus the scumbags don’t care. The scumbags have gerry mandered themselves into only having to worry about someone even more right-wingnut deranged primary them – so they figure if they make themselves scarce, this will all blow over.

      Gawd, I hope we prove them wrong!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • TundraGrifter

      That was some weird shit.

    • The Wanderer

      If the meeting I’m at is boring or odd, I’ll scribble “Was fur ein Quatsch ist das!” in the margins.
      “What a load of rubbish!”

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
    • MynameisBlarney

      FUCK!

      Trigger warning dammit!

      • snark-lurker

        hee hee

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      [*nods to self*] Head-to-hand size ratio looks about right.

    • Shanzgood

      HAHAHAHAHA!

    • CripesAmighty

      GOOD GOD!

  • AndyC316

    Nice of Putin to offer transcripts, but let’s put on our running shoes and get to the hooker pee tape already

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “This is their time to shine, to show Americans and the world that the White House isn’t becoming a circus of errors.”

    Well, taking a trip abroad before bothering to staff the State Department is certainly one way to do it. Not a good way, but a way, nonetheless.

    • GoutMachine

      Isn’t becoming? That ship has sailed, bro!

  • LarryHoudini

    Ha ha! Trump WARNED Comey he might have been taped. Now Comey freely admits he had been documenting everything with memos all along!! TOTAL VINDICATION!!
    Unless . . .
    DID YOU LIE, TRUMPIE???????
    : (

    • bupkus231

      We’ll find out if Congress ever comes up with a subpoena.

  • GoutMachine

    America really dodged a bullet! Just think, if Hillary were Preznit, we’d have a professional, competent government filled with professional, competent, experienced people who work hard every day for the American people.

    HOW BORING!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      And Wonkette would only be publishing dick jokes, buttsechs information, and recipes using canned clams. What a lazy day we’d be having.

      • The Wanderer

        MONSTER!
        Of course, I’m perfectly okay with the dick jokes and buttsechs info.

  • Michael R
    • GoutMachine

      Odd, given that his big hit was “Let’s Stay Together.” /ducks

      • Spurning Beer

        Here I am, baby!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      The revolution will be politely scheduled with proper notice given.

    • artem1s

      this should happen at least once a day for the next…forever…even after that asshole is gone. there should be a daily reminder, on record, what the GOP did to this country for power and greed.

      • From Russia with Love

        Kinda like they still do to Acorn.

    • The Wanderer

      “Considero autem Trump est destrui.”

    • Mildred Broxon

      Well, that would be awfully fast, wouldn’t it? I thought it would take more than an hour. Maybe not.

  • Putin says he’s willing to hand over records of the Lavrov/Kislyak meeting last week to calm the “political schizophrenia” that’s erupted after TRUMP BRAGGED CLASSIFIED INTELLIGENCE TO THE FUCKING RUSSIANS.
    Putin has records. Of a meeting. With our President. That he is willing to “release”
    Nothing wrong with this at all!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m still skeptical that we can trust the veracity of anything they hand over. But on the other had, if it’s completely incriminating? Bring. It. ON.

      • GoutMachine

        I will only accept pee hooker videos from Putin. Anything else is suspect.

      • It would be totes fun if his “records” goes like thus:

        :Trump: Putin is the best mostly manly of all men. I would like to be just like him because he is big and he is strong and he is my hero.

        • snark-lurker

          HEY! you see this mess of vomit it the floor?!

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      as soon as they retrieve the tape recorder they left in the oval office.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        But they told Donnie it was a gift, so he could play ‘being a DJ’ into it.

    • AJ Milne

      Just the ex-KGB approach to attention whoring/trying to spin the narrative. Ain’t like transcripts aren’t otherwise available. Though I guess the take from _another_ self-serving mafioso is… information, after a fashion.

      (Shorter: Ignore him, everyone. You’re only encouraging him.)

    • artem1s

      really, if this isn’t a direct message to Putin’s other US stooges, the ones who aren’t Trump, that he is done beating off into this particular sock puppet…. He couldn’t be clearer IMO. Putin is trying to tell us to get rid of this asshole, even he is fed up with him.

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    It’s going to be 29C today, with a humidex of 35. I have eight boxwoods, one creeping jenny and four or five thyme plants to put in the ground. Plus grass to cut and a rototiller to attach to a tractor. All in this record-setting heat.
    It sounds summat more attractive than following this in real time. Laters, everypony. And if you see this, Anna, I hope you’re managing.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “29C” and “humidex”? WTF? Is there a Mountain Temperature Zone now, too?

      • snark-lurker

        Canadian–he is lost

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        I put it through the Can-Am Translator:

        Yo McFly! 85 degrees and relative humidity of 61%. I have some herbaceous weeds to sick into ‘Merica, and cut and shit chip the lawnarino. All this in somewhat warm unstable air, might be storms later!

        Beer me bro!

        • chortlingdingo

          Oh, that’s not so bad. It’s a high of 90 (F) with 92% humidity here today. In a month or two, we’ll be well over 100 (F). Who needs a sauna?

    • Sounds like you got a lot of thyme on your hands

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        A sage observation!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      When I visited China, I quickly realized I needed to adapt to Celsius scale. (My phone has a converter but that’s too much trouble. #FirstWorldProblems) Since then I switched myself to Celsius here in USA. Above 30º = shorts; below 10º = coat. Is there more to know?

      • GoutMachine

        Useful trick I picked up living in Australia: 28 C = 82 F.

      • From Russia with Love

        C= XX. Double it and add 30 degrees for F. It’ll get you pretty close to the right answer in the biosphere.

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          You learned that from Bob and Doug McKenzie, didn’t you?

          • From Russia with Love

            It’s just easier than remembering the real formula, and i works well enough for day to day conversion.

    • Vienna Woods

      I have some herbs that arrived in the mail last week that I also too need to get in the ground. My vegetable garden, however, is almost all planted! I got cocky and planted my tomatoes in their straw bales in late April- had to cover them up a few nights, but they are thriving. Peppers and beans and cukes last week- also doing well. Have fun rototilling- I have deprived Mr VW of that delight since I switched this year to all raised beds.
      Time to see if the AC works…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Jason Chaffetz must have borrowed Marco Rubio’s gelatinous spine…

    You used Chaffetz, Rubio and spine in the same sentence. I didn’t think that was possible.

    • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

      Gelatinous is one of my favorite words. To me, it sounds like what it means.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      ‘So what is Russian for “resolute”?’

      • Mondoshawan

        Решительный

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Tweety was the one who thawed out Buchanan, propped up his partially decomposed body at his desk, and sucked up to him by praising his “writing”. He somewhat belatedly seem to realize he had unleashed an actual homicidal zombie after Pat started bleating “braaaaaaiiiins” into the mic.

    • BosGrl

      Rachel used to try being nice to him (“Uncle Pat”) but even she couldn’t take it anymore.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He finally went full white-supremacist on her, and she shitcanned him. Thankfully.

      • GoutMachine

        Whoops, wrong reply.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          My dad was just saying that. Trump is a dumbshit and ineffective. Pence is evil and politically savvy. He’ll be harder to contain.

          • GoutMachine

            The only possible saving grace is that even if impeachment proceedings started tomorrow, it’d still be quite active during the midterm election cycle.

          • From Russia with Love

            I think he might just be Mr Careful for a while. He’s not out of the forest by a long shot.

      • bupkus231

        I always thought that moniker was snark ( “Uncle Pat”, indeed )

        • BosGrl

          I think he was foisted on her and she went out of her way to make the best of it. You’re probably right!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Of course Tweety would do that. He’s the worst. “Hardball with an Actual Hard Ball” would be a better show. #STFUTweety

      • PubOption

        Tweety should go to a sports network, he’d be a natural on ‘Pardon the Interruption’.

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    Secret secret Trump’s got a secret.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JocyQm5CZ3s

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “TERIFIC news in latest PPP poll: Americans don’t want Pence to replace me as POTUS. WINNING!” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • Mostly because we don’t want to literally live in The Handmaid’s Tale

      • GoutMachine

        Exactly. That was the horrific thought I had yesterday: With the Trump dumpster fire, at least nothing is getting done in Congress. I’m afraid that as soon as Trump is out, the Republicans will rally behind President Pence and start passing all sorts of horrible shit.

        • I keep thinking i need to read more about the Underground Railroad and figure out how to revive it

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I may need to start carrying around a bible just to pass in a Pence society.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Remember to praise Jeebus several times during a job interview once Pence is POTUS.

          • From Russia with Love

            And do not say “It’s my fucking Bible, you got a problem with that?”

          • snark-lurker

            for me right now it is open-carry crayons at all times

          • Shanzgood

            I like crayons. My old VW Bug smelled like crayons.

          • That seems very appropriate for some reason…

          • snark-lurker

            prudy sure i smell like crayons sometimes i donut know why

          • snark-lurker

            i left my crayons in the car once, they melted, terrible mess, sad, really sad, believe me, terribly sad

          • Shanzgood

            I bet it smelled good though.

          • snark-lurker

            yes it did, and for a very long time too
            And how are you, my little chick-a-dee?

          • Shanzgood

            Happily counting down the days to the 25th!

          • snark-lurker

            what happen then? or should i just imagine & keep it to meself?

          • Shanzgood

            Going to see baconz!

          • snark-lurker

            ah. mumz the word r.e. my imagination

          • Shanzgood

            I’m sure it’s no better (worse?) than baconzgood’s or mine!

          • snark-lurker

            if that is true, … … i … i … i-yi-yi ! [and] oh my [and] WOWzers [and i could go on but…]

          • bupkus231

            I think that railroad will have to be re-routed, off this planet!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            There is an active underground in the NE, shuttling refugees to Canada.

          • I’m thinking it may need to nationwide and not just for refugees before too long

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Canada has a weird law that if you walk over the border, you can have asylum. Refugees from the US were doing it in the winter. One Somalian guy almost died.

          • I know. We’re nice that way

  • canes_pugnaces

    This plot could not be credibly pitched in Hollywood. Putin has offered to ‘back up’ the president with ‘recordings’ of their private conversation (no US press allowed), which is: 1) a tacit admission they secreted recording equipment into the Oval Office (a not so subtle dig at fatso McOrange diapers); 2) points directly at the collusion question; and 3) Perhaps most importantly, WTF!?

    We’ve gone down the rabbit hole and are being eaten by spiders. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/67b84585d9987f4df5f08a51e4094087ff9761779b9aa922e74253eeb1050274.jpg

    • BosGrl

      Also, Putin called us stupid for #resisting

      • Boscoe

        He’s not the boss of us! Yet.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      He’s angling for one more blow job from Trump.

      • canes_pugnaces

        ewww… just ewww.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’m sure the overseas trip will be just the pivot that the American people are looking for:
    https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/864830147349938180

    • GoutMachine

      Two Corinthians walk into a bar …

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      The size of his dick electoral victory is a theological question now?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      “Thank you very much. everybody. And congratulations to the class of 2017. That’s some achievement.
      This is your day and you’ve earned every minute of it. And I’m thrilled to be back at Liberty University, I’ve been here, this is now my third time, and we love setting records, right. We always set records. We have to set records, we have no choice.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Thank God he has no history saying ignorant things to foreign dignitaries.

      • Trump in Isreal:
        You mean you guys are Jewish? No kidding! My daughter married a Jew! You know, the hot one, not the loser one

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “I hear your people are very good with money!”

    • canes_pugnaces

      Given he will be reading from a teleprompter and won’t understand a word that is said…

    • Trump’s “Penetrating insights” are an inch deep. 😂

    • Michael R

      … including ” how I won the popular vote “

    • The Wanderer

      About as ‘penetrating’ as alpha radiation.

    • bupkus231

      I know this is a satirical twit, but it rings so true coming from some right-wing evangelicals. Maybe Falwell, Jr. at Liberty University?

    • ltmcdies

      hee hee hee….

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    he will reportedly pay attention if he sees his name.

    I guess he can read.

  • C4TWOMAN

    *wonders if free world is still here*
    *peeks*
    Guess we still have a few more nano-seconds on the Doomsday Clock.

    From link in article:
    “A New Goal for President Trump’s First Foreign Trip: Damage Control”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/16/us/politics/president-foreign-trump-russia-israel.html

    Anyone taking bets on whether he’s coming back?

    • Actual goal of Trump’s first foreign trip: Sell golf courses and scout about for a retirement village

      • GoutMachine

        Actual goal of Trump’s first foreign trip: Sell golf courses and scout about for a retirement village country with no extradition treaty with the U.S.

        FIFY

    • I would totally be fine with russia granting him asylum

      • C4TWOMAN

        IKR? Don’t go away mad…just GO AWAY.

  • ooo remember when it was unpatriotic to bleet about W’s ongoing war of stupid in the middle east?

    • proudgrampa

      Patriotism is supporting your country all the time; your government when it deserves it.

      –Mark Twain

    • FlemmishSpy

      We had to re-elect him or the situation in Iraq might have deteriorated.

  • Mpeg

    Woah, wait. “A number of Republicans have had it with Trump” AND have had it with Paul Ryan? That would be doubleplusgood, because I dun’t wanna see Ryan’s smug mug ruining my breakfast-time headlines anymore, either.

  • Marceline

    All that’s left is for Putin to show up as a guest on Colbert and say, “Yes, Donald Trump is my cockholster but honestly I’ve had better.”

    • Shanzgood

      Ooh, ouch.

      • Marceline

        The fun part would be watching Snowden and Assange trying to figure out if he’s referring to one of them.

        • artem1s

          fight over it more likely…

        • Shanzgood

          I wish someone would shred Assange already. I’m so sick of his gross pasty face.

      • TundraGrifter

        That’s what he said.

    • From Russia with Love

      “I like a holster for my .44, but Donny’s little hands are much better suited to a .22.”

  • calliecallie

    Remember when Mitt Romney went to London for the Olympics when he was running for President and said some stupid insulting things to them? And we agree, don’t we, that Romney is somewhat smarter than Trump, or at least more diplomatic? Get your popcorn.

    • Shanzgood

      Barf bag, more like. In case of not being used for vomiting, it can be put over the head to hide the humiliation.

      • TundraGrifter

        New Orleans Aint’s Libel!

        • Shanzgood

          Wot’s that?

          • TundraGrifter

            I think you are a very, very nice person but we have to get one thing straight. I never explain a joke. Or comment on Wonkette, since that isn’t allowed.
            Also.

            Back in the day the New Orleans Saints sportsball team was so bad (from memory they went 1 and 15 that year) the “unknown fans” showed up for games with paper bags over their heads.

            They became known as the “Ain’t’s” (which, by the way, I am by no means sure I spelled correctly).

          • The Wanderer

            You are correct.

          • Shanzgood

            THAT is hilarious!

    • Greyhame

      Yeah, I suspect international press organizations will feel no obligation to invent a both-sides-of-the-story narrative for this arse.

      • TundraGrifter

        There will always be two sides of the story: The facts and the Trump Administration’s explanations.

    • Marceline

      Honestly, we owe an apology to Romney. In his debate with Bamz he said the number one threat to this country was Russia and we all, including Obama, laughed at him. If I were him, I’d be out here doing the “told ya so” dance all day long. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujANeiNYHU8

      • This is true, but at the time they were just a minor irritant and not a major global ratfucker.
        Sure, looking back, of course they took all their resources and applied it to fucking over everyone else instead of, idk, helping their own people. But at the time it seemed like a ludicrous thing only an insane person would do

        • Red Bird Ω

          True. But I think he knew something that other GOP bigwigs knew. Trump was collaborating with Russia since 2011 so there is a good chance that Ronmey knew of possible interference during the 2012 election.

      • artem1s

        to be fair, since Bamz wasn’t giving away state secrets to Russkie spies, in the Oval Office, with a microwave, he was probably right to laugh. Who knows, maybe Mitt is prescient?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Nutter version: Russia interfered with our elections on Obama’s watch.

      • CripesAmighty

        Yup. Our guy scored a rhetorical win, but gotta admit–Mittens was bang on (tip o’ the hat).

    • cmd resistor

      I’m sure Trump’s speech on Islam is going to solve the whole Middle East “problem.” Especially if he uses the magic words.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • C4TWOMAN

      Save link for anytime people starting to hyperventilating about OMG PEZ PENCE.
      Or Pence Pez?

      • artem1s

        hmmm he does look like his head belongs on a pez dispenser.

    • GoutMachine

      So, President Ryan, then?

      • From Russia with Love

        Yeah, but by then all you have to do is come up behind him and pop a paper bag and he’ll pee his pants.

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        Only if Pence doesn’t name a VP.

        • ltmcdies

          no I read that “theory”…it included Paul Ryan being charged with something….it was a stretch

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ve heard that Orrin Hatch is getting security clearances.
        Dunno if it’s true or not though.

        • Shanzgood

          Isn’t he, like, 98 years old by now?

          • MynameisBlarney

            At least, lol

        • artem1s

          yea, I’ve been reading that too. assuming at this point it is just wishful thinking, but ya never know…it’s 2017 after all.

      • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

        It would be great if the Dems took the House in 2018 and then Trump and Pence were impeached at the same time and removed from office and then we’d have Dem prez. I can dream, can’t I?

    • From Russia with Love

      There has only been one scandal in the Trump White House if you count all of the Russian-connected issues as one scandal. Fuck it, if it was Italy or somewhere civilized, I could get interested…

  • TundraGrifter

    This morning we know why the First Lady and Barron stayed in NYC instead of going to DC after January 20th. She didn’t want to have to move twice.

    • to be fair, moving faux gilt floor to ceiling mirrors is a bitch

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Wonder if she’s going to leave all the gold spray painted fake Louis XIV furniture back at Versail…I mean, NYC, and just go with Ikea for her short term stay.

      • TundraGrifter

        To mention all those gold curtains! The Trump Transition Team couldn’t get together a full list of vetted candidates for the Cabinet, but it managed to change the drapes.

        Priorities!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Well, we ALL know the kind of drapes those Negro people prefer would never be suitable for the Master Race.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Jan 2017: “Ungrateful TRAITOR Chelsea Manning, who should never have been released from prison, is now calling President Obama a weak leader. Terrible!”

    Jan 2018: “Ungrateful TRAITOR Donald Trump, who should never have been released from prison, is now calling President Pence a weak leader. Terrible!

  • snigsy

    Hmmm, is this latest scandal going to be the one that will undo Trump? I want to hope so, but . . . this is the GOP in charge.

    • TundraGrifter

      Yesterday (Tuesday) some Republicans began to seriously talk about Impeachment. This is like talking about a divorce. Once the conversation starts, sooner or later it’s probably going to happen.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        They will do nothing out of principle. Once they perceive their own political futures in doubt over this, maybe then.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Apparently political contributions are way down. THAT might be the one thing that pushes it. It’s tangible and bad.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You’d think the dickheads could read polls, but most Republicans in the House come from such thoroughly gerrymandered districts, they truly live in a bubble of fantasy.

          • Lori

            They can read polls, and the polls say that Trump voters still like him more than they like Congress. At this point they can’t afford to attack Trump until his favorables with the base fall a lot farther and who knows when or if that will happen. That calculation will probably only change if fund raising remains down as we get closer to the midterms. In the mean time their focus remains on trying to get their huge tax cut for the rich before things totally fall apart.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I’m thinking the Handel/Ossoff election is going to be a tipping point for some Republicans if Ossoff pulls this thing off.

          • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

            Latest poll (about ten days ago): Ossoff ahead by 2% but w/in MoE.

        • cmd resistor

          So supposedly the Tee Vee shows keep calling to invite them on and no one wants to come (GOP congresspeople).

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        As a divorced man I can second that.

    • AndyC316

      At a certain point publically supporting Trump or diverting attention will become untenable. Right???

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I would think you’re right. I honestly can’t see how the center will hold on this egg.

    • canes_pugnaces

      I have had endless debates it seems, but I maintain the guy will serve a full four year term but be functionally relieved of his duties.

      • NastyBossetti

        Why will Republicans never impeach Trump?

        They always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

        • The Wanderer

          Yeah, it’s against their “sincerely held religious principles” to countenance an abortion.

          • Mildred Broxon

            No matter that it could never live a normal life. At least they’re consistent, here.

  • pragmatist3

    This gem is from The Washington Posts Nicholas Von Hoffman In 1974:

    ” (Nixon is) the dead rat on the kitchen floor of America, and the only question now is who’s going to pick him up by his tail and throw him in the garbage.”

    If I was Melania I wouldn’t move Barron down to DC right away

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Posted with all the usual “gawd only knows if this account is pure fiction or not” reservations, but…
      https://twitter.com/RogueSNRadvisor/status/864666625261293568

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        Well, we know Putin has bugged that place, so the news will come out faster.

        • Shanzgood

          That was my first thought.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I’m a New Yorker. Pitch. Forks. And. Fucking. Torches.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Sympathies to you if there’s any truth to it at all. To poor Melania as well, but at least she willingly chose to marry this dipshit. You didn’t volunteer for this.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            There’s apparently a bill making its way through the House which would exempt the Secret Service for paying for any accommodations to a property owned by the person they’re protecting.

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            Well, I live in Brooklyn so wouldn’t be majorly affected all the time. But the idea of NY’s dollars paying for that in security and traffic snarls makes me feel all pitchforky.

        • Suttree

          I’ll hop the PATH over and join you.

        • Mondoshawan

          Whaaa? Not even tar and feathers? Count me in anyway.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Leak week. The international Pee hooker convention.

      • Suttree

        I thought obama had his wires tapped there too?

        • Doug Langley

          Not anymore. Donnie got rid of the microwave.

      • Lori

        FFS, the building isn’t the source of the leaks. Is he planning to live at Trump Tower and have no contact with any staff? Because if so that could work out very well for the country. Carry on, Donnie.

      • ltmcdies

        oh yeh….that’s will solve everything…

        news for yah Donald….they can impeach no matter where you live

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Oh sure, fire those guys. That will totally fix the problem of the actual president actually committing actual treason
      DO NOT CARE. That is what it is now.

    • ???

      • Bobathonic

        Loose lips theme.

    • Duke

      Extra points for hyper-racist depiction of Tojo.

      • Shanzgood

        Yeah, that was pretty shocking.

  • canes_pugnaces
  • Chadwells

    Looks like Thom Tillis got a little karmic payback for voting in favor of Trumpcare. I have ZERO sympathy for that fucking asshole.

  • weejee

    Do you think the honeymoon is over? At yes this morning a few minutes ago.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6401203b80c6aec4829e70a37f018a32482864bf9313f826ab9842eee2a28700.jpg

    • GoutMachine

      In other news, 40% of America is rock stupid.

      • Not sure that’s “news”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’d say around 35%, you are at Peak Stupid….rock solid morons who wouldn’t change their mind about Trump if he molested their daughter.

        • mardam422

          He probably already has.

        • FlemmishSpy

          We saw the same thing with W. At the end, when everyone wanted to throw a shoe at him and the economy was in free-fall, he still had 25% who thought he could do no wrong.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Lots of Eva Brauns out there, happy to go down into the bunker at the very end.

          • OddMan

            Nixon had about the same when he finally resigned.
            The relentless uncovering of damaging information about the Watergate scandal through the spring and summer of 1973 led to a steady deterioration in public approval of Nixon month by month. By May, Nixon’s rating had dropped to 44%, and by August, it was at 31% — representing a 36% drop in about six months. (A year later, in August 1974 when he resigned from office, Nixon’s rating was 24%)

            http://www.gallup.com/poll/4258/history-shows-presidential-job-approval-ratings-can-plummet-rapidly.aspx

        • Lori
    • The Wanderer

      When it goes below 30%, you’ll start to see even his diehard support start eroding.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Gallup: 38/57

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Okay, serious question. Who the fuck are these 39.8%? Are people in this country really that stupid/brainwashed by Fox News?

      • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

        Yes.

  • TundraGrifter

    “There was a fence-jumper at the White House last night, but the Secret Service caught and dragged back inside Mr. Spicer.”

    ~ Raw Story comments 5.17.2017

  • OddMan

    When will Paul Ryan get Machiavellian and start thinking, “I can impeach Trump and Pence then I’ll be President and look like the big hero cleaning up government.”

    • The Wanderer

      He can get Machiavellian all he wants. He’s no fucking good at it.

      • puredog

        Thank Crom.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Better idea (not that I love the idea of this thing dragging out too long, but…): Impeachment drags on until the Dems retake the House in 2018 and we get a Dem Speaker of the House as preznit who nominates his/her own VP.

      • OddMan

        That does sound more like what will happen, I don’t think Paul will grow a pair in the next 18 months.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        A dem speaker of the house who does not have to be a member of congress. It’s that thought that keeps me from going completely insane over these incessant dumpster fires.

    • Lori

      Ryan only becomes President under very weird circumstances. And by weird I mean weird above & beyond the fact that impeachment is weird. For Ryan to be president one of these things has to happen-

      -Turmp & Pence are simultaneously impeached

      -Trump is impeached, Pence becomes president but then is impeached before he can get a VP approved

      -Trump is impeached, Pence becomes president and names Ryan his VP, Ryan is approved and then Pence is impeached

      As a practical matter the only one that’s even a remote possibility is #2 and the odds of that aren’t good.

      • OddMan

        It is a very wierd set of circumstances that would allow the SoH to become President, but every day we seem to be traveling farther and farther into the Twilight Zone.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e5db99edcac7cf8dbc9fddfdcefb4a2b88026fbad2bf21ab27629b38cbd09945.png

        • Lori

          Yeah, but the increasing weirdness is on Trump’s side. The GOP is the same amount weird/horrible that they’ve been for years now. For Ryan to become president things would have to get significantly weirder on the Congressional side in ways that have no obvious political payoff for the GOPers. If Ryan is dreaming of the Oval Office I think he’s going to have to get used to disappointment.

      • Ms.Moon

        I saw Joy Reid on Lawrence last night this might actually happen Pence is up to his neck in this Manafort situation he was in charge of the transition team that hired Flynn he will not escape this unscathed.

        • Lori

          Pence is virtually certainly guilty as hell, but the specific sequence of events that puts Ryan in the Oval Office is still not likely.

          Among other issues, I think Pence would be more likely to resign under threat of indictment than to stay long enough to be impeached. He’s a deeply horrible person, but he’s far more rational than Trump. If he sees the writing on the wall he’ll cut a deal and go.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            It is true that the VP can be (and has been) indicted. See: Spiro Agnew.

          • chicken thief

            Pence has a note from mother that says he is not guilty of any crimes. And also too that any rumours that he is gay aren’t necessarily true.

          • Ms.Moon

            Won’t that be something then Drumph will have to get a new VP. I still wonder about the hacks of the RNC we found out stuff about the DNC what do the Russians have on the RNC there is still so much to learn. The reporting of these events are amazing there is real heat in the Pulitzer Prize for reporting this year.

    • Duke

      That’s not how it works, really. If they both got removed from office, he’d be president, temporarily, while the house elected a new president.

    • chicken thief

      Opening the door for mah main man Louie Gohmert to be the Speaker of the House – OOHRAH!!1!!!!

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Even your main man Gohmert might be overqualified …

  • The Wanderer

    Putin’s offered transcripts, eh? Hmm, transcripts from a WH meeting wherein Trump blabbed code-word-level info to the Russian FM. Subject said ‘transcripts’ to a bit of judicious editing and voila! Putin’s most useful idiot is off the hook on that score.
    It must be recalled that Putin was an officer in the old KGB.

  • eyelashviper

    One area of the jobs market that is skyrocketing is the political cartoonists, and they are at an all time high, and doing great stuff for Murika:

    http://www.caglecartoons.com/media/cartoons/139/2017/05/16/195633_600.jpg

  • I’m watching Cooper’s interview with Yates…she’s good. REALLY good

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I watched it last night and she is so credible.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      And that’s why she had to leave.

    • cmd resistor

      So I should find a recording of it? Ended up not watching it because they pushed it back an hour.

  • Longstreet63

    BBC interviewed a guy from Newsmax, who explained that Trump telling Comey to lay off was not “Obstruction of Justice,” don’t be silly! It’s just perfectly normal “Guidance from his superior.”
    He went on to talk about how nobody would want a justice system that was off on its own without input from its political masters…

    • Reximus

      This is… not a good argument

    • Suttree

      Why would the BBC interview some asshole from newsmax?!

      • Longstreet63

        Because, in their words, nobody from the White House would talk to them.

        • Lori

          They could literally have picked a random person off the street and it would have been a better way to fill air time than interviewing a guy from Newsmax.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        To expose them as the idiots they are?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        The need for ratings is universal? And rantings bring ratings is a new maxim I just made up.

  • Crystalclear12

    A pitcher of martinis is a perfectly acceptable breakfast in Trump era, right?

    • Load it up with limes, make sure you get your fruits!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That’s why I have been drinking Sangria in the morning for the last few weeks.

        • The Wanderer

          Oooh! (adds ‘Sangria ingredients’ to his shopping list)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Fruits, fruits fruits, fruits, wine and sugar. so 4-2 score on the health index.

          • The Wanderer

            Ah, but you can scale back the sugar, or use brain-damaging aspartame.

          • Zyxomma

            Organic birch xylitol, or lo han (monk fruit).

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            But wine and sugar are part of the basic food groups, right?

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            For now they are.

      • Crystalclear12

        Olives are vegetables, aren’t they?

        • I think they’re evil and disgusting. (I read martini and margarita)

          • Shanzgood

            Garlic stuffed olives in a filthy-dirty martini….mmmmm!

        • Suttree

          You could add the little onions for a fully balanced diet.

        • Zyxomma

          Fruit. Anything with pits or seeds is fruit (tomato, okra, olive, pepper, cucumber, avocado). We call them salad fruits.

        • Chris

          Go with onions and call it a Gibson.

    • And i read that as margaritas….i blame no caffiene

      • Crystalclear12

        Next pitcher.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’ve been up since 4:30 am so I had coffee & weed for breakfast. The only way to face the Trump Regime. My dispensary loves me.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      You’re asking me? Surely, you already know the correct answer.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg
      • Courser_Resistance

        Weed.

      • The Wanderer

        Writing escapist fiction.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I’m still trying to work out the answer to that one.

      • Shanzgood

        I’ll tell you when it’s over.

      • Nockular cavity

        I am Groot.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Only when you share.

  • Panika MCD

    Dom, pretty sure Cornyn voted for McMullin there.

    also too: a state senator implied that the whole “ladies, let’s take it over!” thing is a 50 state, full ballot effort. I thought initially she was saying Dems were planning a take over, but given the context, I’ve been wondering ever since if she meant women in general. this confirms it.

  • cmd resistor
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      “I can never remember anyone disagreeing with him”

      Jesus.

    • Yr. Gma

      Fascinating. And scary.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Chaffetz may have his subpoena pen ready, but the only word the thing can write is “Hillary”.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      That’s probably why he wants those memos: To see if there’s any dirt on Hillary there.

  • chicken thief

    Things should go well for Trump on his overseas tour. As I understand it, our allies have trimmed their presentations down to basically single page cartoons so the Leader of the Free World can follow along.

    • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

      Angela Merkel’s going to be there, too?

  • William

    If you want our national secrets to stay safe and completely free from any compromise whatsoever, put them in Trumps file cabinet under “taxes returns”. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/71b6c09dd5920aaafd5caf80a2f6e2195311a5ba724f5c2de5680086097c6cd0.jpg

  • William
  • janecita

    I didn’t know that Pat Buchanan was still alive! That’s a sad surprise.

    • dshwa

      Only the good die young. So Pat will see birthday#273

      • Nockular cavity

        He’s never gotten over losing his slaves. (Shakes fist.) Damn you, Lincoln!

  • dshwa

    Cornyn is a idiot, but he’s got some political survival instincts. Comey memos pretty much guarantee Trump will try to control FBI, so you’re either going to have to fight him constantly or be a coconspiritor for Obstruction of Justice. Nobody with the political instincts of a garden slug would take the job now.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      So that makes Gohmert & Rubio candidates?

      • dshwa

        Gohmert yes. Rubio has been shying away from the orange disaster of late.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Dow Jones Industrial Average (^DJI)
    DJI – DJI Real Time Price. Currency in USD
    20,743.55-236.20 (-1.13%)
    As of 10:43AM EDT. Market open.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/057da2caa0c554b12a1ded1068b41ebc8ff2eb911cb362b4128e0bfd74fec7cc.jpg

  • ltmcdies

    apparently Google had some fun last night

    https://twitter.com/sfhater/status/864854601383559170

  • SweetDeeKat

    OT, but I heard third hand that the Western District of Virginia court’s rocket docket has been cleared for this week. This is the Alexandria Division. Emergency hearings contemplated? Anyone have info on this?

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    NSC officials are keeping Trump’s name in as many briefings as possible because he will reportedly pay attention if he sees his name.

    “”Why, here’s a J,” said Joe, “and a O equal to anythink! Here’s a J and a O, Pip, and a J-O, Joe.””

  • CripesAmighty

    Have I mentioned that Richard Painter, W’s former ethics lawyer, is Da Bomb? When’s the last time you heard a rock-ribbed patrician Republican say something like, “This is very serious.(Congress) is so focused on their narrow agenda–tax cuts for rich people–that they are failing to perform their constitutional duties of congressional oversight…”

  • ANNG14
  • Nephilim
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