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In hindsight, we don’t think he is!

We mentioned this briefly in our post about how National Security Adviser Gen. H.R. McMaster has officially thrown his own credibility under the bus by lying for Trump, but the New York Times has now confirmed, for official, that the allied nation whose intelligence Donald Trump gave to the Russians was our bestest friend Israel. Weird lawyer Alan Dershowitz had speculated it was Israel, and we figured he was probably right, for once.

Tell us, NYT, about how Trump managed to shit on Israel, and by extension, his evangelical Christian supporters (because they believe Bible says they are supposed to love Israel, so Jesus may come back and do the Apocalypse and the Second Coming to all those Jews), and also mega-rich conservative Israel-loving Jewish donors like Sheldon Adelson:

The classified intelligence that President Trump disclosed in a meeting last week with Russian officials at the White House was provided by Israel, according to a current and a former American official familiar with how the United States obtained the information. The revelation adds a potential diplomatic complication to the episode.

Israel is one of the United States’ most important allies and a major intelligence collector in the Middle East. The revelation that Mr. Trump boasted about some of Israel’s most sensitive information to the Russians could damage the relationship between the two countries. It also raises the possibility that the information could be passed to Iran, Russia’s close ally and Israel’s main threat in the Middle East.

It’s funny because Donald Trump is going to Israel later this week, so that should be a fun and productive trip! Maybe their conversation will go like this:

ISRAEL: Shalom, Donald! Is the secret intelligence about ISIS you gave to the Russians already in the possession of our mortal enemy Iran?

TRUMP: YOOOOGE TREMENDOUS BIGLY!

ISRAEL: Jesus fucking oy vey. Also too, your boy McMaster wouldn’t confirm or deny that the Western Wall is in Israel. What do you think about that?

TRUMP: No Western Wall! No Western Wall! YOU’RE the Western Wall!

Oh, sorry, for a minute there we were doing a Maureen Dowd.

So, Israel is obviously really thrilled about this. Buzzfeed talked to Israeli intelligence officials, and this is what they got:

“We have an arrangement with America which is unique to the world of intelligence sharing. We do not have this relationship with any other country,” said the officer, who spoke to BuzzFeed News on condition of anonymity as he was not granted permission to speak to the press.

“There is a special understanding of security cooperation between our countries,” they said. “To know that this intelligence is shared with others, without our prior knowledge? That is, for us, our worst fears confirmed.”

Remember how, before the inauguration, U.S. officials warned Israel against sharing information with Trump’s grabby little paws? That’s what they mean when they say “worst fears confirmed.” The second Israeli intelligence official Buzzfeed talked to said the intelligence community is “boiling mad and demanding answers,” and maybe they just will quit giving us intelligence, if Pussy Baby Trump is too incompetent to be a good steward of such things.

The Wall Street Journal reports that “the information that Israel provided [and Trump jizzed into the Russians’ happy mouths – Ed.] was considered so sensitive that it wasn’t shared even with the closest U.S. allies,” AKA the “Five Eyes” intelligence alliance we share everything with. So … yay! WINNING! Trump just might get people killed, because he couldn’t keep his stupid fucking useless goddamned apple-headed vagina mouth shut.

Speaking of Trump’s stupid bad mouth, Glenn Thrush and Maggie Haberman are out with a new piece in the NYT, full of juicy little details on Trump’s latest fuck-up. Read it all, but here are a couple LOL/terrifying things.

First of all, this Israel/Saudi Arabia/Pope trip should be super fun for Trump’s aides, especially the weak and failing General McMaster, because they’re literally scared to leave him alone with foreign leaders:

There is a fear among some of Mr. Trump’s senior advisers about leaving him alone in meetings with foreign leaders out of concern he might speak out of turn. General McMaster, in particular, has tried to insert caveats or gentle corrections into conversations when he believes the president is straying off topic or onto boggy diplomatic ground.

This has, at times, chafed the president, according to two officials with knowledge of the situation. Mr. Trump, who still openly laments having to dismiss his first national security adviser, Michael T. Flynn, has groused that General McMaster talks too much in meetings, and the president has referred to him as “a pain,” according to one of the officials.

Secondly, we learned Monday night in the NYT that Jared Kushner, Trump’s Jewish son-in-law who is already doing a fucking bang-up job of bringing peace to the Middle East, was openly blaming Sean Spicer for this whole “Papa Daddy said bad intelligence words to the Russians” scandal. But according to Haberman and Thrush, Trump’s mood “has become sour and dark,” and he has angrily said ALL his aides, including Mr. Sexy Son-In-Law Jared, are “incompetent.” JARED LIBELS!

And finally they share the REAL White House explanation for why Trump fucked himself in his own rear-end and gave Israeli intelligence to the Russians. Surprise, it’s because Trump is TOO FUCKING STUPID TO KNOW ANY BETTER:

In private, three administration officials conceded that they could not publicly articulate their most compelling — and honest — defense of the president: that Mr. Trump, a hasty and indifferent reader of printed briefing materials, simply did not possess the interest or knowledge of the granular details of intelligence gathering to leak specific sources and methods of intelligence gathering that would do harm to United States allies.

Say it with us, everyone: BUT. HER. EMAILS.

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[New York Times / Buzzfeed / Wall Street Journal / New York Times]

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  • MynameisBlarney

    Since the election was stolen, it’s been a snowballing clusterfuck of epic proportions.
    It makes all the bullshit during the bush43 era look innocent by comparison.

    My hatred for those responsible has crystallized.

    • Spurning Beer

      If you put it in a pan of warm water for an hour, it should re-liquify!

  • Joe Beese

    TRUMP 2020: TOO STUPID FOR TREASON

    • MynameisBlarney

      Trump 2020: I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS SAYING

  • Joe Beese
    • Mildred Broxon

      Because Russia Is Our Friend.

    • DrBigHead

      And we should believe anything in those transcripts why?

      • Bobathonic

        They were transcribed directly from the recordings.

        • ziggywiggy

          Interesting, where did you get this info? I’d like to read more. Thanks.

          • Bobathonic

            Explaining a joke destroys the humor.

          • ziggywiggy

            That was a joke? You know these things are way too close to reality.

          • Bobathonic

            Where would Putin get a recording of his spymaster and Lavrov meeting Trump? With the bugs they planted on their visit.

            Yeah, Bizarro World is everywhere now.

  • Joe Beese

    OT, but needs celebrating: Chelsea Manning is free.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Have fun being the au pair to a highly-temperamental, spoiled rotten, big-mouth, child who is visiting Israel for the first time, McMaster!

    Make sure to bring extra nappies and snack baggies of honey nut cheerios because you’re going to need them.

  • Mildred Broxon

    And Trump gave this information to the Russians because he was BOASTING about how he has access to the bestest classified info? Please, drop a net onto him and drag him off for a psych eval (the sort done under court order in locked wards).

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Most successful Kickstarter campaign ever.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Israel’s ambassador in Washington has since said it has “full confidence in our intelligence-sharing relationship with the US”, but the damage may be done.

    Latest intel on Syria from Israeli sources: “Syria, officially known as the Syrian Arab Republic, is a country in Western Asia, bordering Lebanon and the Mediterranean Sea to the west, Turkey to the north, Iraq to the east, Jordan to the south, and Israel to the southwest. Syria’s capital and largest city is Damascus.”

    • Joe Beese

      In short, a land of contrasts.

    • Mildred Broxon

      And that’s all they’re going to tell us, ever again.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It was news to Trump, though.

        • Joe Beese

          “Lebanon… incredible country. Very, very smart people. They’re doing a terrific job.”

          • Bobathonic

            Great bologna!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            “Melania did a Lebanon shoot with another girl once. So hot.

        • MynameisBlarney

          And then he forgot about it completely after a minute because he saw something shiny.

    • vivian

      “Too complicated. Are they good guys or bad? This is where cereal comes from right? They invented it? So they can’t be bad guys. I love cereal. Does anyone want some cereal?”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “No, Mr President. It’s Syria, not cereal. Oh, forget it.”

  • FlemmishSpy

    It’s cool, Donnie is going to get an indulgence from the pope.

    • Querolous

      For being a Syrial killer?

  • Mpeg

    So in addition to the smarmiest, illiterate-est, callous-est, mentally-impoverished-est, self-obsessed-est preznit, Donnie also bears the title of “worse fears confirmed-est” —
    courtesy of Israel, who with said words described what every sane American has been experiencing the last almost 3 months~

  • MynameisBlarney

    Jesus fucking christ…

    Every five fucking minutes there’s another revelation of criminality.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029077437

    • Joe Beese

      carried them between buildings in Washington without permission

      Some got left at Arby’s!

      • msanthropesmr

        Ewww

    • DrBigHead

      Further evidence that these dunces had, and continue to have no idea what they are doing. I am confident that they thought this was within their power. This combination of arrogance and intense stupidity is what frightens me the most.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “We work for the President-elect, so if we do it it’s OK.”

        • DrBigHead

          “I work for Mel Brooks….”

          • snark-lurker

            i work for food, sex and drugs

          • MynameisBlarney

            I work for Puddin’.
            Mah Puppeh!

      • snark-lurker

        you are not alone

  • Cogswell, Precious Snowflake

    I think I knew this yesterday morning. No, wait… I did know this yesterday morning.

    • Alan

      I’ve given up trying to keep track of what I knew when.

      • Cogswell, Precious Snowflake

        Very good point. No, wait… excellent point!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    for a minute there we were doing a Maureen Dowd.

    Your Maureen Dowd makes more sense, Evan.

  • memzilla Ω
    • mappo

      What that chart needs is a red horizontal line showing where Congressional repugnicans will decide it’s politically safe to throw the decomposing jack-o-lantern away.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      The latest PPP poll is basically all bad news for Trump. But if you only look at people who say they voted for him, it is all good news: they still support and approve his actions.

      • canes_pugnaces

        I don’t know. My brother voted for him. His wife was a Trump finance director in a key southern state. They hope he’s indicted.

  • Wild Cat

    “Whatever you do, Dad, don’t say anything about the fucking lamps, OK?”

    • vivian

      *Trump scratches head; makes mental note: “They love lamps, Be sure to compliment them on their nice lamps. Tremendous lamps. Some of the most beautiful lamps ever.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • vivian

      … you haven’t lost all that much.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    OT: HELP! Is anyone else having trouble accessing the mobile site? I get a message from what looks like the host saying “problem rendering page”. It’s not local, I don’t think. Anyone?

    • Werewolf

      Happened to me last night, but now it’s fine.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Yeah, last night I got Error 503, so I went to bed, and cannot get in now due to rendering.

        • snark-lurker

          i had 503 error last night, tried again–no prob’

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            It seems to be working for me now. I think we borked it with the last thread last night!

    • Chadwells

      Wait What was having problems too. I’m on cell right now and it’s all good.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Not local, seen a lot of posts about this all morning. I’m on a desktop, so I can’t say more than this. It’s a thing today, apparently.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Yes. Am in now on my pad but still get the error message on my phone. Last night it was both. Was able to get to articles off the Wonkette Facebook page though, so I was able to view stories that way. Strange. Putin?

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Trump’s buddy Lil’ Kim?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Also, too, from http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/333774-trump-called-netanyahu-on-tuesday-report:

    President Trump reportedly called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Tuesday, but the White House kept quiet about the call…The call, which was not publicized by the White House or the prime minister’s office, lasted for about 20 minutes, according to the publication. The two did not talk about recent reports that Trump revealed highly classified intelligence to Russian officials during a meeting last week.

    Suuuuure they didn’t.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      They didn’t talk. Trump listened to 20 minutes of swearing in both English and Hebrew from Bibi.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      I’m not going to rush to judgement. Can we get a transcript of the phone call President Putin?

    • vivian

      “So how’s the weather over there Bibi? What should I pack? Do you want anything from New York…what..what? I’m not in New York? Well where the hell am I? DC? How did I get here? Why am I in DC?….anyway, so Bibi… what are you wearing?”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I believe that. Remember when he met with the Mexican president and never talked about the wall? The guy’s a total wanker.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    On Failing Fox News, none of this happened.

    • snark-lurker

      I KNOWWWWW!

  • God Emperor Emeritus

    That wasn’t doing a Maureen. That was a believable thing that that actually sounded like it could have come out of His Orangeness’ mouth hole.

    Maureen’s impersonation uses multisyllabic words and grammatically correct sentences that one can diagram. I.e., things that nobody would believe the Cheeto would actually utter.

    • beatbort

      Plus, Maureen Dowd is unreadable and you’re not.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’ll never forget Trump’s comments to a group of conservative Jewish businessmen a few years ago….every stereotype about Jews and money, avarice, driving hard bargains etc. He thought he was complimenting them, until some attendees reacted poorly to his questions about their horns and cloven feet.

    • beatbort

      Did he make a joke about the wine actually being the blood of Christian babies?

    • AJ Milne

      Smooth talker, that one.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He has many words.

  • canes_pugnaces

    I suspect that Trump will 1) give Saudi Arabia tens of billions in arms contracts; 2) Israel more settlements; 3) Rome a promise of diminished rights for women; and 4) America the end of an empire. All within his first four months. Amazing.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      If that’s winning, I want to be a loser.

  • beatbort

    I would not be surprised to learn that Israel, knowing what a blabbermouth and con artist Trump is, gave him fake intelligence on ISIS. And now that fake intelligence is in Russian hands, soon to be in Iran’s. Israel gave the real intelligence to the grown ups at the CIA.

    • Wild Cat

      Maybe one day they can haz non-genocidal leader?

  • Trump already knows Jewish seafood doesn’t have pussies because he gefilte fish.
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/SXEbCQE5WdpJu/giphy.gif#0-grid1

  • Oneofthebobs

    What kind of manager only hires incompetent people?

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I’m afraid that the best Republican people are incompetent.

      • Oneofthebobs

        I’m afraid that the worst are competent.

        • vivian

          Assumes facts not in evidence.

          • Oneofthebobs

            I present as evidence Neil Gorsuch.

    • msanthropesmr

      One who wants to look good by comparison.

      • Crystalclear12

        And he even failed at that.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Good grief, you don’t piss off Mossad. They are the type of people who would walk into Hell to drag out Nazis, for God’s sake.
    Next time, try a safer pastime. Like maybe catching lit sticks of dynamite with your teeth.

  • Lizzietish81

    Because if anyone has a sense of humor about intelligence, it’s Israel.

    • msanthropesmr

      Krav maga means “funny looking shoes” in Hebrew

      • The Wanderer

        I thought it was like the Welsh martial art of Llap-goch, or the Yorkshire martial art of Ecky-Thump.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          The Southern martial art Hold-M’Beer.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Trumpian martial art is called Divorce the Bitch. Oh, wait, that his marital art.

      • Krav maga was invented in the Slovakian ghettos to beat up on Nazis, so Trump better not be bringing his ‘closest advisors’ with him.

      • John Frum

        Wouldn’t it be fun if the Hebrew word for “caveman” was “Cro-MAGA”?

    • jesuswasablack

      Me thinks Netan-Yahoo will give der-Trump on a pass on this one, they are both under criminal investigation so you know a brother has to help a brother out!

      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZVgdtBRIqo0/maxresdefault.jpg

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Netanyahu doesn’t get anywhere without the backing of money guys like Sheldon Adelson, and yesterday Mr. Adelson was spotted having “conversations” with top Republican leadership. I don’t think it was about getting them to come to Vegas.

        • jesuswasablack

          Why would a corrupt money launderer / pimp like Adelson give a rats ass about Trump leaking classified intel? All he and Bibi and Trump care about is stuffing their pockets with cash. You seem to be under the impression that Adelson is some sort of Patriot, laughable!
          https://31.cdn.bit2host.eu/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sheldon-adelson-pimp.jpg

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Hard to stuff pockets full of cash when you’re wearing prison orange. Adelson isn’t a patriot, but he does want to save his own skin.

  • eyelashviper

    Mossad not happy.
    Mossad not forget.
    Mossad never fail.
    Welcome to Israel, Mr. President, step over here please…

  • anon_the_great

    Of course Lord Dampnut blabbed for the most banal reasons and has to go but let’s play What If?

    What if Mossad salted the orange fuck with bad intel as a stress test, not only for the benefit of Israel but for the greater good of International Spookdom?

    • msanthropesmr

      They’re smart enough.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Trump is looking forward to meeting Theodor Herzl. “He’s an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.”

    • Suttree

      Turnip is also looking forward to meeting with Elie Wiesel when he gets back to New York.

  • jesuswasablack

    Boy I’m really getting tired of winning!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daOH-pTd_nk

    • Randy Riddle

      His supporters are so tired of winning, they can’t sit down this morning.

  • Ms.Moon

    I am not surprised at any of this I always knew Trump was a stupid self aggrandizing blowhard I live in New York after all. Through everything that happened throughout the entire campaign where I honestly did not expect him to win because again he’s so obviously stupid, I did not count on the stupidity of the American people. So this lying, crooked amoral creep gets the biggest job in the world and does not know how to do it again not a surprise but to fail so hard so early. The Republicans get to have this millstone around their necks after predicting that Obama was going to get locked up for crimes that they’re still “investigating” their guy is on the fast track to impeachment 118 days into the job.

    • msanthropesmr

      Emails

    • canes_pugnaces

      We NYers who have known him from afar are not surprised, in the least. Every time I drive down the WSH and see the shitty Trump tin-can and plasterboard monstrosities I want to scream.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Just hangin’ with a few of my fellow NYCers yesterday, talkin’ about how, in this city, Trump has aways been a punchline.

        And yes: those WSH blingy-buildings are an eyesore for sure.

      • Meccalopolis

        Exit 72nd street. .. D’Oh!

  • davej1s

    I think we should be allowed a do over on the last presidential election.

    • Reximus

      well if anyone knows about mulligans, it’s Trumpie

      • TJ Barke

        Pfft, he just cheats.

        • Bobathonic

          I bet he makes his opponents count their mulligans.

  • Crystalclear12

    OK, yeah, that is some scary shit.
    I’m just going to be in the corner rocking myself a little bit.

    Man in charge of the nukes.

    • puredog

      “Davening” will be all the rage this week.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    And it’s not like our intelligence relationship with Israel probably isn’t a bit fraught to begin with. “Jonathan Pollard” ring a bell?

  • Randy Riddle

    Trump is traveling to Israel? I had no idea there was a Trump Tower there.

    • Reximus

      they call it the Trump Tower of Babble

    • FlemmishSpy

      He’ll have a bacon cheeseburger.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      He’s going on a self-described major religions tour by symbolically visiting Saudi Arabia for the Muslims, Israel for the Jews and Rome for the Christians. Not included: Hindus and Buddhists, nor “unaffiliated” which is world’s third largest religious group.

      • Randy Riddle

        Fascinating. I’ve always thought of Trumpism as a kind of religious cult with some kind of suicide complex.

        • From Russia with Love

          Zoroastrianism. Heavy on the “ass.”

      • jesterpunk

        He is also going to talk about Islam in Saudi Arabia.

        • jodyleek

          Hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!
          (Stops to catch breath)
          Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          Will he say the magic words: “radical Islamic terrorism” in the country that gave us 11 of the 9/11 hijackers?

    • Roadstergal

      He’s going to build it on that nice big rock over there. Great location. Just terrific.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And he’ll build a great golf course, the greatest. Golf. Course. Terrific golf. Course. As soon as the permit to tear down that old wall comes through. The greatest.

  • eyelashviper
  • cheetojeebus

    Listening to the tone deaf statements before the House news conference. Feeeeling very stabby. also too fuck ryan.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT kind of – is anyone watching the repukes talking about the memo on teevee? I’m on a meeting and can’t hear anything, but I see Paul Ryan is wearing a stupid ugly tie and looking fake concerned, so my curiosity is piqued.

    • cheetojeebus

      He’s upset b/c this is distracting from their draconian agenda

      • Vincent Ricola

        Ugh. Figures.

        • cheetojeebus

          He’s now characterized their approach twice as “Sober”. oh fuck you ryan.

          • cheetojeebus

            AND they’re gone.

          • puredog

            Well now, see, that’s their problem.

      • From Russia with Love

        And lifting.

    • I’ve read that they’re actually going to subpoena all of Comey’s memos regarding his meetings with Trump.

      Whether or not they do anything with them is another matter.

      • Roadstergal

        Fawn is firing up the shredder.

    • ltmcdies

      Paul Ryan made some stupid statement about protecting the president, apparently forgetting that’s not actually in his job description.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      ‘ fake concerned’ is Paul Ryan’s Resting Bitch Face.

  • William
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I don’t thing the Mossad fixes things with votes.

  • Duke

    Will he be eating the chocolate cake?

  • Bibi kind of deserves this for backing the GOP so hard. The spies and informants in ISIS or ISIS territory don’t deserve it at all.

    Maybe next time, don’t back a narcissistic, incompetent conman, Bibi.

    • snark-lurker

      i love the smell of Karma in the morning

    • DrBigHead

      If you allow me a sports analogy: With professional athletes, there is usually a high level of tolerance for bad off-field behavior, generally proportionate to the on-field skills of the athlete. In many cases, however, the infractions become too much and they are cut or traded. In nearly all instances, though, the troubled (i.e. asshole) athlete signs with another team because the other coaches firmly believe they can control them. It usually ends predictably badly.

      This is what appears to have happened to the Republican Party (and probably Bibi as well). They knew Trump was a loose cannon but believed they could steer him where they wanted (the typical useful idiot). As with the sports example, their extreme arrogance is beginning to haunt them.

    • From Russia with Love

      Bibi is a narcissistic, incompetent conman.

      • Bobathonic

        Lot of that going around, it seems.

  • anon_the_great

    Does anyone know what Alex Jones has been saying of late? I can’t do it. My gag reflex is hypersensitive these days

    • Reximus

      He’s getting to the ‘bottom’ of all this…

      “Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and right-wing gadfly Roger Stone
      suggested national security adviser H.R. McMaster was a gay “leather
      daddy” during a bizarre InfoWars discussion.”

      http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/alex-jones-blames-leather-daddy-hr-mcmaster-for-russia-leaks-in-bizarre-shaved-heads-rant/

    • The Wanderer

      Probably nothing, after you remove all the insults, pejoratives, verbal static and meaningless phrases.

    • Shoto

      Agenda 21 Illuminati chemtrails were sprayed on the White House by Democrat Party libtard terrorists to derail all that sweet MAGA.

      Just spitballin’

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Don’t know about Infowars, but evidently Breitbart is all hard for a DNC staffer who was murdered.

      Spoiler Alert: It was Hillary.

      • puredog

        Of course it was.

  • Joe Beese

    Even 30 years later, I vividly remember the ominous feeling when Trump got angry about some perceived slight. Everyone around him knew that you were best off keeping your distance at those times, or, if that wasn’t possible, to resist disagreeing with him in any way.

    In the hundreds of Trump’s phone calls I listened in on with his consent, and the dozens of meetings I attended with him, I can never remember anyone disagreeing with him about anything. The same climate of fear and paranoia appears to have taken root in his White House.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2017/05/16/i-wrote-the-art-of-the-deal-with-trump-his-self-sabotage-is-rooted-in-his-past/

    Yeah, this will be a fun trip.

    • From Russia with Love

      Fuck them all. Why would any sane person sign on with such a sonofabitch?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mkzd_Egbfu0

      This is worth the watch. It’s frightening as hell, but shoots a hole in the notion that no one could have predicted how his presidency would go.

    • ltmcdies

      and yet these same bootlickers experienced this behavior first hand and thought …yeh…there’s a president.

  • Cogswell, Precious Snowflake

    So, what will the continuing saga of Days Of His Lies bring today?

    • ariel_gee_398

      I don’t know, but I’m pretty sick of having to watch As the Turd Whirls.

    • Suttree

      Like hooker pee through the hourglass…..

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Get your name on the list:

    https://impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Already signed but

      Fuck a petition. We need to take to the streets this weekend, and every weekend, until he is removed from office. It needs to rival the March for Women in numbers and intensity. This can’t wait.

    • eyelashviper

      Signed, so assume I am now on the KGB master list for “observation”

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        If so, we’re in good company. All the best people are there!

    • ltmcdies

      as a none american I can not sign but I will cheer when the bastard is brought down as much as the rest of you.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Thank you!

  • anwisok
  • MynameisBlarney

    Pfffffttt!
    Comey’s memo is sad, pathetic.

    Turmps memo is bigly tremendous.

    http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg226/JimGinPA/note.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Some big words are spelled right. I’m crying fake.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • The Wanderer

      I’m getting Last Tango in Paris scene re-enactment flashbacks.
      (savors memories of experience)

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Was it you who said the same kinda thing about this yesterday? Or do you have a brain cousin in here?

        • The Wanderer

          I might have, yes. Said the same kind of thing, that is (if I have a brain cousin, I feel very sorry for them).

  • Beowoof14

    Two cases of wine were delivered yesterday so I have my coping strategy figured out through the weekend. After that I think I will need lots of Vodka.

    • eyelashviper

      Wish I had stock in booze and popcorn, the only area of rapid growth in Murika.

      • NastyBossetti

        It’s not too late yet to invest in canned goods, which are surely going to be the next area of rapid growth, as we all start to prepare for the rapidly-approaching end of the world.

        • Bobathonic

          How about canned bads?

          • NastyBossetti

            I’m kind of tired of bads, myself. But to each his own!

        • From Russia with Love

          You seem to have a Weizenbier in your avatar, so the world can not be completely over.

        • DrBigHead

          Don’t forget bottled water, although I would strongly recommend a portable filtration system.

          For fun, my son and I put together a plan for a potential zombie apocalypse (e.g best weapons; critical supplies and equipment). Didn’t think I would ever contemplate actually implementing the plans.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            I do have a magic drinking straw. Elderly senile cat and I can share toilet water and rainwater puddles.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Once you get locked into a serious booze collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

  • William

    Actual quote “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.” Then there is this. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/trump-tells-jewish-group-that-like-you-folks-hes-a-negotiator-2015-12-03

  • ken_kukec

    Paul Ryan: “We’ll dispassionately follow the facts to wherever we have to be dragged kicking and screaming to have them crammed up our ass.”

  • LarryHoudini

    Jesus Fucking Christ, McMaster. Nuclear suitcase bombs here, terrorists with sarin gas there, fucking pain in the ass. “Dereliction of Duty?” How many weeks was that piece of shit on the Time’s best seller list? “The Art of the Deal” had 13 weeks, by the way. You know, McMaster looks a lot like Captain Underpants. Baron’s favorite book. Gosh, I wonder how that kid is doing?? I’d call but then I’d have to talk to fucking Melon.

    • William

      Be careful what you say about Moronia….just sayin’https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e0628154c7b5e426a7cd62de803dd92ebec06d6d9de64e465e3d15100d4f6bf.jpg

      • Shoto

        That’s one mean-looking Slovenian pole-dancer.

      • MizzMazz

        That’s the least slitty I’ve ever seen her eyes.

        • William

          I know right? Most of the time you could blindfold her with dental floss.

          • MizzMazz

            I wouldn’t say no to some cosmetic surgery. I’ve seen some that passes the Toupee Test – when you can’t really tell it has been done. I would like a little lips, but if anything was going to happen to my eyes, I would want them to look wider, more awake. Melania has that squinty thing going on, and I don’t know if it’s because she got some bad work, or that’s just the way her face stuck from glaring at her husband so much.

  • Joe Beese

    20 Republican Senators and Congresscritters yielded zero willing to go on CBS News. No WH flunkies either, natch.

    • ltmcdies

      and only 43 more months to go…..

    • Meccalopolis

      I know a way to make it stop

  • jesuswasablack

    Actually I’d say if Trump was gonna give up intel he couldn’t have picked a better country. Is there really another intelligence service more corrupt than Mossad? Trump will go to Israel, trash Islam, threaten to move our Embassy to Jerusalem, give his blessing for the Apartheid State Settlements and all will be forgotten, get real!
    http://images.al-monitor.com/almpics/2016/11/RTX2TLRV-1.jpg/RTX2TLRV-1-570.jpg

    • janecita

      So true, as long as he supports their Apartheid state, they will trip over each other to kiss his ample ass.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Hating Palestinians always trumps losing an intelligence asset.

  • Joe Beese
    • The Wanderer

      In my mind, I’m hearing Archie Bunker shouting “MEATHEAD!” at Mike.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I thought Jared was supposed to be the moderating influence?

      • ltmcdies

        no…that was America during it’s “bargaining” stage of the 5 stages of grief. Jared has likely always been a dictatorial ass….

      • Shoto

        If by “moderating influence” you mean “half-bright, know-nothing, cosseted, snot-nosed little twit.”

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Somebody’s removed the moderator and the reactor’s going critical.

      • chicken thief

        That is true. But like “Jeb! is the smrt Bush” it is relative.

    • ltmcdies

      you know at least on Dallas there wasn’t this imminent threat of mushroom clouds because JR was having a bad day.

    • Nockular cavity

      We’re gonna need a bigger flak jacket.

    • Meccalopolis

      Sheeet. no one thought that would be a good idea except idiot man baby

    • Well that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree does it?

      Bet christie is having a laugh between the sobs for his lost career.

      • SadDemInTex

        Jeezus…to think that criminal would have been better just because he has neurons that spark.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Roadstergal

    Hey, you know who _does_ possess “the interest or knowledge of the granular details of intelligence gathering”?

    • Thaumaturgist

      Has anyone mentioned that Donald’s BFF Valodya has offered to give Congress the Russian notes about the Oval Office meeting, unless Donald objects? Fuck Valodya. With votes. Right?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Yeah that’s great for Republicans’ image that if Congress wants to find out what Assmouth has been up to, they can ask the Russians.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I don’t think the rules apply to Russian trolls, yet. So I will say Fuck Valodya with a rusty, salt coated chainsaw.

    • Shoto

      Mister Mxyzptlk?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Kim Philby?

    • MOG253

      My Mother the Car?

    • Nockular cavity

      Harriet the Spy?

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      The Morton Salt girl?

    • chicken thief

      Columbo?

    • Ken S., As Seen On Watch Lists
    • dshwa

      Brainiac?

  • Michael Smith

    Well, Israel, this is the guy you wanted.

    • Spurning Beer

      Well, not all of Israel. That dude Boo-Boo, or Bobo, or something like that.

      • Zyxomma

        Bibi has daddy and brother issues. Brother Yonatan was the IDF leader and only casualty of the successful hostage release at Entebbe. Father Benzion was a brilliant scholar and author (The Origins of the Inquisition in 15th Century Spain). The same year daddy’s ‘Origins’ was published, Bibi put out one of his own books; I think it had fewer than 110 pages. Maybe Dictator Tot thought they’d get along because both have been married three times?

      • dshwa

        Nutty yahoo?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Courser_Resistance

      LOL, I was just thinking of her!

  • FauxAntocles

    Maybe Mossad will take care of our little problem…

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I thought the same thing when I heard this yesterday. Nobody screws with Mossad. They’re total badasses.

      • Nockular cavity

        …with long memories.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Yeah, they’re scary as hell and not always in a good way. It’s a very complicated relationship and the sheer contempt for the natural complexity of order is the worst thin to come from this administration imho.

      • capnkrunch
      • dshwa

        Trump was already the best gift ISIS could dream of (just wait till his speech on Islam this week…) but pissing off Mossad? I bet they never dreamed they’d be that lucky.

    • Marceline

      Donnie has managed to piss off the CIA, FBI, and the NSA here at home and now he’s made an enemy of Mossad. Every day he continues to walk the earth is a testament to the restraint of people in the IC all over the world. I’m just sorry for the Secret Service being tasked with protecting the life of a demented old man who can’t stop jamming a fork in the outlets.

      • Roadstergal

        Is a little poison-tipped umbrella too much to ask for?

        • Parakeetist

          We’ve got to think of a theme song.

    • steve damon

      More likely they will exploit our little problem, as will everyone else.

      • Roadstergal

        Yep. They aren’t on our side, they’re on their side. It’s not The Donald vs The Sane Americans and ‘they’ will all pick the latter – it’s The Donald and His Country, and they’ll fuck us over as much as he lets them.

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          Which, considering his absolute ignorance about how intelligence-gathering works, will be ‘completely.’

        • redarmyzombie

          I dunno, at this rate he’ll fuck them over pretty good as well…

    • ltmcdies

      they did rather mop up all those Munich terrorist types…..just thinking out loud

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      How many pee hooker tapes are out there?

    • Parakeetist

      Where’s Daniel Silva when you need him?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Don’t worry – he can learn on the job. Except of course that he can’t learn, period.

    • MOG253

      Why aren’t Johnny reading?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      He’s the one who said America has stupid leaders. That the job would be easy. That he knows more than the generals. That he could have negotiated the Iran deal (which involved 8-10 countries) in one day.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Why won’t people just give him a chance?

    • MOG253

      Chance #644

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Trump picks up Chance card, Reads “Go directly to Jail – do not pass Go, do not collect $200.”

    • Doug Langley

      Considering what he does to casinos, I don’t think Donnie does well with “chance”.

      No, that’s dumb. Forgive me, I have low blood sugar.

    • Meccalopolis

      My president right or wrong? Well, always wrong

    • chicken thief

      The pivot is coming! The pivot is coming!!!!

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        “No one has ever been treated this unfairly!”

  • MOG253

    My head. How much longer is this going to continue?? Also, can I leave Wonkette $ in my will to make sure they keep future generations laughing/crying?😲

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      As if “money” will have any meaning in the Post-Trump hellscape. We will be trading cans of peas for firewood and WiFi.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        What could I get for a dozen cans of clams?

        • Doug Langley

          A dozen “YOU MONSTER”s?

      • Courser_Resistance

        I had a friend recommend I stock up on silver bullion on Monday evening.

        • An Outhouse for the Resistance

          I would go with canned soup. It’ll be more useful.

      • ImGoingBacon

        bottle caps libels!!

      • Roadstergal

        Fortunately, I have marketable skills in microbiology… oh shit.

  • steve damon

    If my Politics = Modern Soap Opera hypothesis is correct, we only need to follow this plot arc on Mondays and Fridays to stay up to date on the characters. The rest of the week is just filler.

    • Marceline

      God what I wouldn’t give to All My Children back on the air again. Give me Erica Kane over Toupee Fiasco any day of the week.

      • steve damon

        For a while I worked a second shift job that allowed me to see the first 45 minutes of General Hospital (but never the end of the episode) every day. I was hooked, and it was maddening.

      • Courser_Resistance

        We all watched Days of Our Lives in college, abbreviated DrOOL. The student union Pizza Hut, the only place on-campus with a TV, was always packed.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        Major upfists for “Toupee Fiasco”

      • Eileen Besse

        YOU WIINNN MY INTERNET TODAY!!11

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    ‘Ben Gurion tower, this is Air Force One, requesting permission to land on runway zero-eight.’
    ‘… who?’
    ‘This is AIR FORCE ONE, Ben Gurion. Requesting permission to LAND on runway ZERO-EIGHT.’
    ‘… sorry, we don’t know who that is. Please divert. Try Istanbul or Cairo.’
    ‘Ben Gurion, we are five minutes from a FUEL EMERGENCY SITUATION.’
    ‘Lalalalala, can’t hear you!’

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      “New airport, who dis?”

  • Doug Langley

    My, Donnie’s brilliant plan to bring peace to the Middle East is just going swimmingly, don’t we all agree?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      My, oh my, yes! It is, bless his heart!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      He will implement that plan, a tremendous plan, tremendous, bigly tremendous, just as soon as he brings peace to the West Wing.

  • Debra Dassow

    If only this were funny. All I can say is “Lock him up”, somewhere , soon, please.

  • ltmcdies

    OT….file under ….Fuuuuuccckkkkk….

    apparently it’s being reported that those writing a one page briefing paper for President No Attention Span have been told to insert Trump’s name into said paper and there is a better chance he’ll read it.

    https://twitter.com/ThePlumLineGS/status/864826699233587200

    • Zyxomma

      I used to think he hadn’t read a book since Wharton. Now I think he never read a book while in school, either; just paid some genuine smart people to take tests and write papers for him. When I mentioned this to a friend who has been a Mensa member since the 1960s she said that’s how she paid her way through (a different) college — writing papers and taking tests for the rich-but-dumb.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        HE NEVER WENT TO WHARTON

      • Eileen Besse

        I wrote papers for intelligent-but-time-challenged people in exchange for six-packs of Schlitz Draft 16-oz bottles. LOTS of times.

  • chicken thief

    OT, but if Jared is “Mr Sexy ….” then I’m the fucking Queen of England. And I’m neither female nor British.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Our Evan can’t be objective about Jared. He has admitted that Jared is his guilty, evil crush.

      • chicken thief

        So Jared is my Nicole Wallace* to Evan? I suppose I should have known that…

        * more so before she turned RINO. I really just wanted to grudge fuck her then.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Yes. Just like Miley Cyrus for me.

      • Yr. Gma

        We must show understanding for Evan’s weaknesses. He’s our Evan.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          As long as he keeps it in his pants…wait…do the writers wear pants while they’re writing? I’m not, personally, wearing any but the writers have to go outside and stuff. Be responsible…ish. And has anyone ever seen Brad and Evan together on the same blog? Something is going on here.

    • Peggy Ryan

      But you still can be queen.

    • Roadstergal

      Jared looks like every sleazy date rapist. Not quite as much as the Trump Jrs, but enough.

  • You guys! Do you think this guy is qualified to be president?!?!

    I’m having some doubts.

    • chicken thief

      I dunno. Hard to argue against the largest Electoral College victory, the largest inaugural crowd, and the most aggressive legislative agenda in the history of ever. And Sean Hannity assures me that he will MAGA!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Also, if they impeach him, where will we find slices of the best chocolate cake in the world?

        • Sally Mushrush

          There’s always the Grand Lux cafe.

      • steve damon

        Plus there’s that crack team of statesman advisers. Don’t forget that Brain Trust!
        Seriously, what could go wrong here?

        • Brian Trust is FOX’s new 6pm anchor.

          • steve damon

            I wonder if that is his real name. Maybe his parents had a sense of humor. If he is working at Fox it would be Brian “Misplaced” Trust.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Humming along like a well-oiled machine!

    • puredog

      You know I think you may be onto something. There’s something about that Trump fella that’s just not right.

      • Roadstergal

        You need to give him a chance. He’s not Establishment. That’s a good thing!

        • We gave him a chance. This is what we ended up with

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          He and only he can help our economic anxiety! Also, he lets us punch black people.

    • Whollyholeyholy

      The Host of Celebrity Apprentice unqualified? Unpossible!

    • natoslug

      If you’re a Republican, then yes. His incompetence just proves that “Big Government” does not work. Amazing how electing incompetent anti-government fuckups continues to prove that point.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    From Five Eyes to Zero Eyes in one easy step.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    At least Putin has a transcript of the Oval Office conversation… How the fuck does HE have a transcript!? Oh, he must have tapped Trump…

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I wouldn’t get on a plane with him for fear he would insist on taking the controls from the pilot. He already has one death spiral going so why not go for two?

  • Edith Prickly

    Shorter WH staff – sigh. He’s A Idiot. what can you do?

  • Daniel Hooper

    Here’s what I hope(but seriously doubt) happened; Israel knows they have to deal with Trump, but they keep getting warned not to by intelligence officials/people with intelligence. So they try a test case. They make up some intel about having a source in ISIS, and make it very clear that this is super special, only for you information for Trump. If he can keep his mouth shut, they know they can trust him. If he blabs, as he did, then ISIS gets paranoid and distracted as it goes on a mole hunt for a non-existent mole.
    I doubt that’s what happened, but one can dream…

    • I will buy into that only because the alternative is that Trump gave out secrets and someone ended up dead because no one was warned for 3 days

    • yyyaz

      To infer otherwise would be to credit Mossad with less intelligence than a common trump.

    • Eileen Besse

      I will happily cling to that dream….

    • redarmyzombie

      I dunno, Israel does have the capacity to make tremendously bad decisions every once in a while…

  • Poly_Ester

    If DT says he is behind you. Watch your back.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Shit –watch out for your orifice!!!!!

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump doesn’t need to worry. The AIPAC types have decided that Trump is really playing 11 dimensional chess with Russia and the Palestinians and that in the end he will trick them all into a good deal for Israel.

    • yyyaz

      If so, they understand neither “dimensions” nor “chess.”

    • Hardly Ideal

      And here I was wondering if his tiny hands could even flip the table when he loses.

  • Kitty Smith

    I wonder if there are any Mossad agents pretending to be ISIS somewhere along Trump’s trip.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Although I find much of what Mossad has done to be at best counterproductive and at worst evil (like our own intelligence agencies) I think we would all be okay with giving Mossad a “hall pass” for some McTrumpkin “wet work.”*

      *please insert “with votes” as required

  • timpundit

    He loves the poorly educated because he is one of them.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    ISRAEL: Jesus fucking oy vey

    The perfect “Judeo-Christian” ejactulation you’re looking for is “Oy vey Maria!” (“fucking” a per-user option)…

  • Whollyholeyholy

    My favorite teacher in high school was a sassy old Texan with Molly Ivins/Ann Richards swagger. She got her first job when the teacher she replaced had a breakdown and climbed up on her desk and disrobed. When President The-World’s-Ultimate-Baby-Boomer-Stereotype-Cocktail does this, I called it first. (I mean, at some point it’s going to occur to him that people might not have believed his defense against Little Marco’s hand-size allegations, right…?)

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      I truly think that the pee-tapes show his actual non-endowments and this is what he was willing to sell an entire country out for–simply to prevent the truth from coming out. It has to be something that personal and that irrational.

  • natoslug

    So this is what happens when we elect a business-man to run the country like a business. Besides everyone, who could have guessed that it would all go so smoothly?

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      *raises hand*

  • azeyote

    Trump has a habit of shitting in the hands who endorse and enable him –

  • Aileen

    After this is over and done with, I don’t want to hear one more word from anyone about the inherent superiority of white people, rich people or men. Trump has resoundingly proven that one can be both wildly successful and dumb as a post.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Except with Trump, we’re dealing with someone who’s wildly dumb and successful as a post.

      • Aileen

        I’ve known some really successful posts in my time. Sturdy, straight up and down, rot-resistant. In Trump’s case, he’s literally in the most powerful position in the world. I’d say that’s pretty successful, not matter how badly he’s fucking things up, which he is, on a historic, invading-Russia-in-the-winter, killing-all-the-new-world-indigenous-people-that-slash-and-burn-the-Amazon-triggering-a-mini-ice-age level.

        • thixotropic jerk

          I get where your going but to credit Trumpt with anything like success esp wild success is wildly overly generous– and although unintentionally I am guessing, ignores the apparatus/apparatchik? that made him such a wild success (scuzi while I barf in my mouth) as a “businessman” and now Babby-In-Thief.

  • NotReallyHere

    So, here’s a horrible thought I keep having, because my brain likes to produce horrible thoughts, and then badger me with them all day and night. If someone assassinates Trump, will he become a martyr? Are people going to remember him fondly like Kennedy or with great national pride like Lincoln? Will we build a memorial to him? If so, I think my stomach may vomit itself up and eat my own brain.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    He doesn’t give a fuck about anyone, he doesn’t give a fuck if lives are lost. He’s set to become the US’s worst enemy. Gosh this is terrifying.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Trump, you gave up Sekrit Intelligences from an ally? I haz a mosSad.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      And then he’s going to Saudi Arabia to lecture about Islam; he’s going to mecca them angry!

    • Eileen Besse

      LOLZ, I see what you did there….

  • guppy06

    Mr. Trump, who still openly laments having to dismiss his first national security adviser, Michael T. Flynn, has groused that General McMaster talks too much in meetings

    In contrast to McMaster, Flynn spent all his time quietly taking careful notes.

    • Me not sure

      …and busily counting his rubles.

      • thixotropic jerk

        Don’t worry, after he screws the pooch at the Vatican it will just make him more pope-ular with his BASE*.

        (Baboon Anus-licking Shite-Eaters if you must know)

  • Hardly Ideal

    Her Emails? Hell, I remember when Obama had the gall to put his feet on the Resolute Desk. Outrageous, yeah?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Of course. And when it was pointed out that Dubya did the same thing all the time, it was “different.”

      • thixotropic jerk

        IAOIYAR

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        IOIYW

    • gratuitous

      He also wore a brown suit and ordered orange juice with breakfast! Never forget!

  • John Frum

    Remember that thing when Trump was starting to get intelligence briefings, and the CIA was all like “mmm, I dunno,” and we were all like “Trump spilling Israeli intelligence to Russia so they could give it to Syria IS EXACTLY A REASON NOT TO ELECT HIM”?

  • Panika MCD

    it’s is day 67 of “how are any of us even still alive”.

  • Internet Hitler

    Been thinking maybe McMasters leaked the news about Trump blabbing NSFW Secrets to Russia. Seems like he’s tap-dancing and sucking up hard to cover his move.

  • SeeTrain65

    Oh, sorry, for a minute there we were doing a Maureen Dowd.

    Never go full MoDo.

  • Scooby

    Isreal will publically ignore the whole issue and Trump will respond “What am I, chopped liver?

  • James Lamere

    Look..you know it, I know it , everybody knows it…Donald Trump is the greatest deal-maker in the galaxy . Great deal-makers just don’t give things away , they sell them. This time it was to the Russians . Next time the sale may be to Iran , China , or North Korea .

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild
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