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Chuck C is a wanted man

We all vaguely remember Chuck C. Johnson, an “award-winning journalist” (just like Mike Cernovich!) and weird white power guy who keeps getting in trouble for being much scummier and more racist than is even socially acceptable in America.

Well, we hadn’t been paying much attention to Young Chuck, because life is too short for that — whether or not he was advising the Trump transition. (Maybe we paid attention a LITTLE.)

But today we learned some dismaying news, and our heart is hurting real bad ma, and it MIGHT be time for a little suicide with knives and poison: According to Chuck C. Johnson’s partner in “Wesearchr.com,” which apparently is a popular alternative to Gofundme for actual neo-Nazis to crowdsource their legal defense and bail funds, Chuck C. Johnson got ONE POINT FIVE MILLION DOLLARS for a six percent share in the company.

Pax Dickinson is the recently departed CTO of “Wesearchr”; he previously held a grownup job with the same high title at Business Insider, until his (surprise) SUPER RACIST tweets were noticed. Where would such a man go except partnership with Chuck C. Johnson?

Unfortunately, they have had a falling out! And Pax Dickinson is singing on Twitter all about it, until he gets banned again.

According to Dickinson, as you can see above, Wesearchr is down because Johnson did not pay his hosting bills; two weeks ago, their SSL certificate lapsed, as Gizmodo lovingly detailed here. Here’s a tiny bit of their explanation of what the fuck is this thing even:

But back to Chuck: What’s the benefit to tacit support for neo-Nazis and violent militiamen? 15 percent of all donations to successful campaigns, according to Wesearchr’s fine print.

The site’s terms stipulate that of money raised for any fully funded bounty, a scant 75 percent is meted out in payment and 10 percent goes to whomever started the campaign. Wesearchr itself takes the remaining 15 percent, nearly twice what Kickstarter takes off the top. In the event that a bounty doesn’t reach full funding or if its requested “information” never surfaces, donated money continues to be held by Wesearchr and essentially becomes store credit. If funders ask for the money to be returned to their bank accounts, that process also incurs the 15 percent fee.

According to Dickinson, if we believe him, somebody thought grifting neo-Nazis for each other’s bail money was a FABULOUS MONEYMAKER! So much so that the company would somehow be worth $25 MILLION, and they would give ONE POINT FIVE MILLION DOLLARS TO CHUCK C. MOTHERFUCKING JOHNSON.

(We will not be naming the lawsuit-happy benefactor whose name is being rumored on Twitter, because we like our company and our house. But the fact that neo-Nazis couldn’t even come up with $125 for their Montana Mayhem March, probably because the meth market’s already flooded, must have skipped that benevolent benefactor’s notice.)

Now, you know I don’t like to complain. But WHO IS EVEN KIDDING ME WITH THIS???? YOU. READING WONKETTE. GO GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING WALLET, SHIT JUST GOT FUCK YOU. IN A LOVING WAY! SHUT UP! WE LOVE YOU!

Take a breath. Be nice. It’s not Wonkers’ fault that disgusting pieces of motile human shit are making sick bank from actual Nazis. Wonkers give lots (or little bits!) of money already, even when they are poor and got sick kids, because they are doing their part to have a nice community of NOT CHUCK C. JOHNSONS.

YOU! GIVE US SOME MOTHERFUCKING MONEY.

Here at Wonkette, WHERE WE ARE NOT NAZIS, and ALSO DON’T MAKE SHIT UP EXCEPT FUNNY DICK JOKES, we pay ourselves and our staffers a reasonable living wage of a bit more than $50,000 a year. (Husband/web developer Shy makes less because most of the time he is Mr. Mom, and also because of #misandry.) We recently were able to hire Robyn back part-time for weekends, so mama can take a day off a week, because mama was GOING TO DIE and because too much goddamn news is happening on weekends, and I DIDN’T WANT TO WRITE IT.

We would like to be able to hire more people fuller-timier! And have raises! And hire more people with more raises! Because this news is not going to stop for the foreseeable future, and WE ARE RUN RAGGED.

But what is in it for you? THESE THINGS as outlined all fancy-like by your comrade Speaker to Animals:

Your whore dollars will help Wonkette do the following things that you cannot live without:

§ Drive the Wonkebago literally to your front door, filled with booze and Donna Rose (not necessarily in that order)

§ Post sexxxxxy pix of Your Boyfriend Bamz, Your Other Boyfriend Justin Trudeau of the Canada Trudeaus, and Your New Boyfriend (kinda) Monsieur Macron, at least until he goes all neolib on our asses.

§ Not Take Any Shit from the Republicans

§ Laugh at the poor sad MWNGL (Men Who Never Get Laid, or whatever the hell it is they call themselves I’m not going to give them the page clicks to try to remember)

§ Write the best, funniest, thank Crom for Wonkette articles that keep you from rage drinking. Mostly.

Speaker to Animals is correct, but she forgot to add how many of you are now boning like common Joe and Mikas. Why? Because we gave all you snowflakes a #safespace and also a GOOD EXAMPLE.

OK, WHEW, it is all out now and we are not mad or suiciding any more, and we are done cussin’ ya, you are good and I am sorry if I made you feel bad, and honestly if you are poor don’t send us anything, we are fine, we are just NOT CHUCK C. JOHNSON FINE WHAT THE EVERLOVING WHAT, and in God and the kindness of YOU we trust!

Just do us a favor, and make it a monthly.

Fucking Chuck C. Johnson Jesus Christ. Also, blah blah blah OPEN THREAD.

$
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  • chascates

    Wow! There’s no honor among Nazis.

  • Mpeg

    Two good things start with D-O-N. And they are: donate and Donna Rose.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Don Quixote. Don Ameche. Donuts. Don’t stop.

    • kaydenpat

      Donna Summer!!

  • Nounverb911
    • chascates

      What did the ducklings know and when did they know it?

    • JCfromNC

      …why in the hell would a duck put her nest on a roof?

  • chascates

    David Brooks makes a stand:

    When the World Is Led by a Child

    He is thus the all-time record-holder of the Dunning-Kruger effect, the phenomenon in which the incompetent person is too incompetent to understand his own incompetence.

    • The Wanderer

      Gee, and it only took him – what? Twenty years?

    • GoutMachine

      Stopped clock, etc., etc.

  • Chadwells

    Speaking of shit bags….odd we haven’t heard from that cock munch Gavin McInnes. Or have I just tuned him out better than I thought?

    • rebecca

      he is the leader of “The Proudboys.” Like Rudeboys, but white power.

      • Chadwells

        Yeah…he’s A idiot. With all this alt-right nonsense, I figured we would have heard more from him. Not that I’m complaining.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Wow. The “alt-right” are grifters. I did nazi that coming.

  • Nounverb911

    Florida Man’s cousin, South Dakota Man is starting a GoFundMe for the border wall….
    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/864586741335904257

    • The Wanderer

      “A ____ and his _____ are soon _____.”

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Dumbshit

        Walleyes

        yoo in cort for makin fun uv hiz eyez!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Kissing cousins, are they?

    • TJ Barke

      And then he’ll disappear with all the money he raises…

      • kaydenpat

        To Mexico.

    • Joe Beese

      Why not? Trump is going to make Mexico pay them back.

      [snicker]

    • Painter of Goats

      This idiot is a thousand miles from the border and needs this wall. Funny how the states that share the border with Mexico don’t even want it.

      • Bozilingus

        Each state should have its own border walls. Separate the dumbfucks in KY from the dumbfucks in TN, ad nauseum.

        • Painter of Goats

          Well, I could see the advantage to walling off AZ and TX from New Mexico, although I am rather fond of Colorado. Oh, and the NM wall should be made of adobe, naturally.

          • Bozilingus

            Would California build walls with a doobie?

    • Red Bird Ω

      Someone should tell the Lakotas that the immigrants are acting up again.

    • kaydenpat

      The imaginary wall in his head? Does he really think that Trump gives a dang about that wall?

  • memzilla Ω

    …thank Crom for Wonkette articles that keep you from rage drinking.

    Au contraire, Mme. Editrix! I find Wonkette to be the PERFECT ACCOMPANIMENT to my rage drinking.

  • TJ Barke

    Sorry, gotta get new tires and dental work this month

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Give 1.5 million bugs!

  • Jamoche

    Everything I know about “$monies for % share in my company” I learned from Shark Tank, and oh boy would I like to see Kevin go Bad Shark on their valuation.

    • He has time since he quit trying to be Prime Minister of Canada

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Oh he did? That’s too bad. He was kind of like Donald Trump, only not stupid.

  • Joe Beese

    Guess who?

    The Cucks. They’re making jokes about the media attacking me and my family, stuff that was three years old. I’m remarried. I have more children. I’m happier than ever. My original children are awesome.

    We’re winning, winning. My audience under the globalist attack, it took 20 years to get to 40 million a week, and now it’s like 60, 70 million a week, but see the attack on ******** is for cucks, cowards and fools, to see us getting attacked by MSM, they think, “Oh my God, if I”m for freedom, if I’m for America and I’m for Second Amendment, I’m for private property, I’ll get attacked.”

    The attack only makes me bigger. I live in a real universe. The enemy knows that. They do it to make you feel like a loser if you join us in victory, so it’s a Psy Op on you. Do you understand? We’ve gotten bigger and stronger under the attack.

    We’ve got big professional studios, giant cameras, all the crap, we’re doing this real because that’s what awake people do, and our awake audience, goes, “********, why do you talk to the cucks, why do you talk the zombies, why do you talk to the folks who are in their mom’s basements?” Because they’re the prodigal sons. Read that parable. I care about them as I care about you. You’re already awake. We love you even more. I’m with you. We’re brothers, we’re sisters. but it is the little pathetic cucks we’ve got to reach out to and show them they’ve been lied to.

  • Swampgas_Man

    . . . you guys make $50,000 a year? My last job (currently unemployed) paid $13,000. You owe ME money.

    • BosGrl

      50K is considered “low income” in the Boston area…

      • tomamitai

        Yeah, but aren’t the Editrix & pix living in one of those square states out in the ass-end of nowhere? I can’t remember if it’s North DafuckifIno or West Montandaho.

  • Nounverb911

    Oy Vey is mir
    أوي VEY هو مير

    https://twitter.com/jm_mcgrath/status/864545835450863617

    • Joe Beese

      Eh, I think they’d be chill with it.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I can’t imagine why Russia would want to know how good Israel is at infiltrating ISIS in Syria.

    • TJ Barke

      IOKIYAR… forever and always.

    • Jamoche

      He’s totes cool with the Muslims in Saudi Arabia because he has a hotel there.

      Now try taking that speech to the places that are bleeding refugees.

    • Red Bird Ω

      But what does Jared think about this? Hengh??????

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Now I’m just guessing- but I’d say Republicans would be deeply concerned.

  • maxneanderthal

    Im still trying to get my head around the complexities of this, but it sounds like a Night of The Neo-Nazi’s mothers kitchen Knives- which has to be good- no?

    • Nockular cavity

      Night of the Plastic Sporks.

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • Joe Beese

      Arby’s fries may not make everything okay, but they definitely make things less-not-OK.

      They’re pretty good fries.

  • The Wanderer

    I don’t find anything Wonkette does to be sufficient justification for rage drinking. My workplace, though, is an entirely different barrel of salted rat dicks. I have a nice IPA from New Belgium (their Voodoo Ranger IPA) that should sort well with what I have planned for dinner.

    • Joe Beese

      I can understand celebration drinking, boredom drinking, despair drinking, and – my favorite – “I’m 50 years old so I can drink for any damn reason I want” drinking.

      But rage drinking I don’t get. The alcohol dulls the rage, doesn’t it? It’s counterproductive.

      • arealbaby

        Tell that to English soccer hooligans?

      • eka

        it’s more, my rage cannot change a goddamn thing so let’s dull it before I take it out on innocent bystanders.

        So, rage drinking is only for ordinary voters in gerrymandered districts and not for people like paul ryan who pretend they can’t do anything about it when in fact they can.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Fuckin’ Soros, not stepping up when we need him. It’s almost like he’s not even bankrolling the liberal agenda AT ALL.

    • Joe Beese

      What happened to you, George? You used to be about destroying America.

      • Shoto

        Maybe he blew all his Liberal Agenda Cash on Acorn?

  • BosGrl

    Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) on MSNBC: BUT BENGHAZI!!!!!! And then Chuck Todd thanked him for agreeing to open his stupid pie hole on teevee.

    • Shoto

      “Both sides do it.”

      — Chuck Todd

  • Nounverb911
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, maybe you could have done something about it instead of just making loud noises and then falling in line?

    • Joe Beese
    • Meccalopolis

      Here’s an idea: do something to put a stop to it like, I don’t know, call for impeachment hearings?

    • kaydenpat

      What the hell has she done to make sure that we have a crisis-free day?

      Has she advocated for a Special Prosecutor to be appointed to investigate Trump’s Russian connections?

      Has she demanded that an independent investigator be appointed to investigate Trump’s misconduct?

      If no, she needs to shut the hell up and take several seats. She is part of the problem.

      • Joe Beese

        An order of salted rat dicks for Table 12!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      You sign up for the wrong outfit, you get what you deserve, Susan.

    • Lori

      Yes Susan, we can. The day after you and your rat bastard colleagues put country ahead of party for one gawd damned minute and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE LUNATIC YOU PUT IN THE WHITE HOUSE, YOU SHITS.

      Until you do that none of you pieces of crap get to complain. The rest of us do, you do not, so blow it out your ear.

    • eka

      I think I heard of a way to have a crisis free day … shit, what was it … im … imp … someone help me?

  • Ezio

    You know, I remember when I was a kid and first learned about WW2. “I sure am glad those Nazis were beaten and we live in harmony now” I thought to myself. Then the internet happened and I realized what a foolish little boy I was.

    • kaydenpat

      But Nazis aren’t as powerful as they were in Germany/Austria so you’re not really all that foolish. We’re dealing with the dregs of the White Supremacist movement which will always be with us.

      • Ezio

        See, that’s the type of thinking that I think partly got Trump elected. Yeah you could say they are just fringe lunatics, but enough of them voted in a President out of their own fear that they thought he would preserve White privilege.

        • kaydenpat

          I wouldn’t label all Trump voters as Nazis. Yes many of them were comfortable with Trump’s bigotry but I wouldn’t call them Nazis.

          • Ezio

            I’m not saying all of them are Nazis. I get there’s the whole thing where working class whites were lead astray to scapegoat minorities for their problems. But I am saying enough Nazis were Trump voters and supported him for that very reason.

          • kaydenpat

            True. I’d assume that all actual Nazis voted for Trump.

          • HogeyeGrex

            The Nazi ones have, however, been given the keys to the bus and a bottle of Stoli.

          • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

            No Nazi started out as a Nazi. They all started somewhere, like being comfortable with bigotry. THAT’S HOW IT STARTS!

  • Nounverb911
  • Serai 1

    If I could find a way to grift big money off Nazis, I’d do it. Those fuckers deserve to be ripped off big time.

    • theblackdog

      Sounds like a good way to get out of debt.

      • Serai 1

        I’ve tried for years to think of a good grift to use to drain insane fundies of their cash. Maybe a miraculous iron burn on a shirt or something.

        • theblackdog

          Creative browning of grilled cheese?

          • Serai 1

            That occurred to me, but you can’t ride that horse indefinitely. It has to be something original. I’ll think of something eventually.

          • theblackdog

            Could always go the classic route of “healing” someone by smacking them in the forehead. That grift still seems to work.

          • Serai 1

            Nah, not into any kind of performative shit. I’d rather not actually deal with any of them in person at all, if possible. That’s why eBay’s a good way to go.

          • theblackdog

            I like this idea

    • HorseChestnut

      Then you have to interact with them, though. :(

      • Serai 1

        Not with the internet, you don’t.

    • kaydenpat

      Take all of their money!! That’s why I love that Alex Jones and Glen Beck constantly grift them.

  • Joe Beese
    • mancityRed6

      that’s the perfect interpretation of why I only did meth a few times.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Ermine are the most fearless and toughest animals I’ve ever seen in Alaska. We had one come up to a moose that we shot, it tried to drag it off by the ear. It wasn’t the least bit concerned that we were there. I’ve seen them back down foxes too. Hey! don’t judge, moose is good eating, better than beef.

      • Rasilom

        Moose stroganoff. One of my favs.

    • HogeyeGrex

      You must fight… the duck army.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHc288IPFzk

    • proudgrampa

      i love Ozzy the Weasel.

      Republican Fuckweasels, not so much.

    • mailman27

      Wouldn’t wanna smell that bedding.

  • Red Bird Ω

    I already give and already have a set schedule for rage drinking to Wonkette. Thanks guys!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Twitter deleted that Pax Dickinson account fast!

  • Nounverb911

    BREAKING!
    THIS JUST IN!

    Please, please, please let it happen!
    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/864584635195559940

    • Red Bird Ω

      I wish. XOXOXO Barry <3 <3 <3

    • kaydenpat

      Please! Make it so.

    • MynameisBlarney

      What is it?
      Can’t see the link.

      • Nounverb911

        WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Amid
        concerns about Donald Trump’s fitness to be President, former President
        Barack Obama said on Tuesday that he was willing to serve as “temp
        President” while Trump undergoes psychiatric evaluation.

        “It would just be a temp thing,” Obama told reporters. “As soon as
        psychiatrists determine that Donald Trump is mentally stable and fit to
        serve as the most powerful officeholder in the world, I’d step aside.”

        Obama said that he was a “logical choice” to serve as temp President because
        of his eight years in the White House. “For starters, I know how the
        light switches work,” he said.

        Obama said that, once installed as temp President, he would look after the
        day-to-day running of the White House: “You know—vetoing bills, naming
        Supreme Court Justices, that kind of thing.”

        Asked how he envisioned his working relationship with Vice-President Mike
        Pence, Obama said, “I think Mike has been working so darn hard, he
        really deserves a vacation. Joe Biden has said he’ll fill in for a
        while.”

    • Bozilingus

      I read that as “psychic evaluation”. America needs you, Miss Cleo!

    • mancityRed6

      ok, we’ll give him one last chance to get those FEMA camps going in the walmart basements. but if it doesn’t happen this time, I’m definitely not voting for him again.

    • proudgrampa

      WE ARE SAVED!!

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    BREAKING: NYT: Trump Asked Comey to End Flynn Probe. This is the exact same Obstruction of Justice committed by Nixon, except he had the common sense to send aides to then-FBI Director L. Patrick Gray to make the request.

  • boyblue122

    OT – Looks like the paper trail from Comey is starting to leak

    https://twitter.com/charlie_savage/status/864592050351722497

    • msanthropesmr

      You don’t fuck with the FBI

      • tomamitai

        Even if you buy them dinner first?

        • mancityRed6

          you forgot the movie and the flowers.
          the FBI loves them some flowers

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Obstruction of justice, how does that work?

      • Meccalopolis

        See above

    • kaydenpat

      This is what Comey will testify about in public if the Senate calls him. I don’t see how Trump can get around this new claim.

      • proudgrampa

        Well, who you gonna believe?

        A FIRED FBI Director or the President who fired him??!!??

  • Nounverb911
  • Joe Beese

    President Trump asked the F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, to shut down the federal investigation into Mr. Trump’s former national security adviser, Michael T. Flynn, in an Oval Office meeting in February, according to a memo that Mr. Comey wrote shortly after the meeting.

    “I hope you can let this go,” the president told Mr. Comey, according to the memo.

    The existence of Mr. Trump’s request is the clearest evidence that the president has tried to directly influence the Justice Department and F.B.I. investigation into links between Mr. Trump’s associates and Russia.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    So much so that the company would somehow be worth $25 MILLION, and they would give ONE POINT FIVE MILLION DOLLARS TO CHUCK C. MOTHERFUCKING JOHNSON.

    What, they couldn’t invest in something that might have an ROI, like pogs or slap bands?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      slap bands get popular every time teenagers turn over and it’s about that time…

  • Jennifer R
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Awful lot of smoke coming from this gun.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        This thing is fully involved and the firefighters have been pulled out for safety reasons.

        • Jennifer R

          Where is the firebreak going to be dug out?

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            Scottsdale

      • Joe Beese

        Who is that? I can’t see you through all this smoke…

      • proudgrampa

        Hell, that ain’t no smoking gun, that’s a freakin’ FLAMETHROWER!

    • HogeyeGrex
      • Jennifer R

        and it gets BETTER.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Yes, it’s not the arsonist. It’s the person who called the fire department.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/864593153692770304

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • MizzMazz

      SOME TRAITOR!? I agree, the Traitor should be dealt with appropriately. >:(

  • Rebecca,

    re: CJ Johnson grifting the nazi’s, “I hope you can let it go”.

    25 clams headed your way to help you forget about the 1.5 mil

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ll get to the post in a moment, but first–my congress critter nailed it:

    https://twitter.com/RepAdamSchiff/status/864467503224942593

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      There is no way Trump wrote that, because it’s an actual sentence. And I have a right to sell all my assets, take them to Vegas, and put them on 10 black. Just because one has the legal right to do something, doesn’t mean it isn’t searingly stupid.

    • proudgrampa

      I LIKE your congresscritter…

  • BosGrl
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They might even “have questions”!

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Perhaps even “look into it at a future date”!

        • Oily Messiah

          Mitch! Mitch! Mitch! Mitch! Mitch! Mitch! Mitch! Mitch! Mitch!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        or “concerns” if they’re brave.

    • Crystalclear12

      Oh,oh don’t forget “troubling”.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      DRAMA!

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    NYT reports there is a paper trail from Comey that says Trump asked him to drop the Flynn probe.

    WH has already flatly denied.

    Based on the past week, how long before Trump says “Yeah, I did that”?

  • Reximus

    Annnnnd It’s only tuesday:

    NYTimes: Trump tried to get Comey to drop Flynn investigation

  • Joe Beese

    Does this mean that FOR A SECOND DAY IN A ROW that our Wonkette will have to drag her weary carcass back to the keyboard for a post-Open Thread thread on the latest bombshell?

    • Ralph Gauer

      YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

  • Joe Beese

    The memo was part of a paper trail Mr. Comey created documenting what he perceived as the president’s improper efforts to influence an ongoing investigation. An F.B.I. agent’s contemporaneous notes are widely held up in court as credible evidence of conversations.

    Yeah, but this is a showboat we’re talking about.

    • Vincent Ricola

      If Comey was keeping a paper trail like this, he’s got all the goods on Trump & co and knew what was coming. Holy shit.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        Last week someone (news type) commented that Comey liked to keep a “cover your ass” paper trail when something happened that might look unethical.

        • Meccalopolis

          Well, he’s not an idiot

        • jowgajen

          This is just smart.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Comey’s one of those guys who doesn’t fart without writing it down somewhere.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          And thank gawd for that.

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    It’s not even a drip-drip anymore, it’s a slow moving mud slide.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      And we still have a Congress full of people looking around like, did you hear something? I didn’t hear any thing.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        My eye likes your eye.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          It does? Thank you. I was worried.

    • BosGrl

      It’s a shit slide.

      • not_vh

        now that you put it like that, the whole affair is like constipation. needs more moral fiber.

  • mancityRed6

    so we know the stories about how tRump ALLEGEDLY likes to spy on people in his resorts, clubs, S&M dungeons…whatever.
    but if he did put a recording system in place, then you know it was there when they remodeled the oval office, and you know this would have been caught on tape.
    wouldn’t this be the piece of the puzzle, the keystone if you will, that makes it all come apart?

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      It’s the straw that put the camel through the needle of the eye.

  • Nounverb911

    This seems to work for days too, also.

    https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/status/863147183813648388

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Got an “oh, Jesus” moment for us, NYT link?

    President Trump asked the F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, to shut down the federal investigation into Mr. Trump’s former national security adviser, Michael T. Flynn, in an Oval Office meeting in February, according to a memo Mr. Comey wrote shortly after the meeting.

    “I hope you can let this go,” the president told Mr. Comey, according to the memo.

    The existence of Mr. Trump’s request is the clearest evidence that the president has tried to directly influence the Justice Department and F.B.I. investigation into links between Mr. Trump’s associates and Russia.

    Mr. Comey wrote the memo detailing his conversation with the president immediately after the meeting, which took place the day after Mr. Flynn resigned, according to two people who read the memo. The memo was part of a paper trail Mr. Comey created documenting what he perceived as the president’s improper efforts to influence a continuing investigation. An F.B.I. agent’s contemporaneous notes are widely held up in court as credible evidence of conversations.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/97eba461f1d71bda1babbe486f3ebdcdd6f8c61841fe4617fa6b4cfd26b69e01.png

  • Joe Beese

    White House staff, says one outsider who has spoken with multiple senior staffers this week, are “disconsolate.” And, he adds, “These are the real loyalists. These are the people who truly care about Donald Trump.” …

    There is absolutely no sense among his friends, according to multiple sources, that he blames himself for any of his problems. It’s his legal team or his communications team or his senior staff. The President, says one source, “seems to have lost confidence in everybody.”

    Except himself. …

    Again, these are friends — people who want to see the President succeed. They all understand the need for staff changes — and agree with Trump’s senior adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner who believes, according to a source with knowledge, that the communications shop needs to be fixed. But they also say that replacing the entire staff would probably not do much to fix the most important thing: Trump himself.

    Unless, as one source points out, someone can tell the President when he is wrong — rather than spending time spinning to justify his mistakes and missteps.

    “Nobody,” says one friend, “is willing to lose his job to save the President.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/16/opinions/only-one-person-can-save-this-president-borger/index.html

    • Oily Messiah

      sounds like bye bye to spicer/sanders

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      All this assumes that they can just snap their fingers and get a 70 year old man out of the compulsive habits of a lifetime. How many times do we learn this, Trump cannot change.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I remember when someone I had followed and liked turned against me and some others because of a perceived slight, and I slowly began to realize she was a fucking lunatic narcissist. It was the second most confusing, disorienting experience I’ve had (nothing will beat November 8 2016).

      That said, those of us who finally realized it were never fooled by a single thing she said again. I only hope that at least some of those staffers have the same experience.

      • Yr. Gma

        Narcissists have many ways of trying to make you think it’s all your fault.

    • not_vh

      iow. there’s not enough lipstick for this pig

  • Chadwells

    Hmmm…could this be why Fuckface threatened Comey with tapes?

    “Comey Memo Says Trump Asked Him to End Flynn Investigation”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/16/us/politics/james-comey-trump-flynn-russia-investigation.html?_r=0

  • not_vh

    fwiw. a recap of where we are at as of last night.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dpO–t1xCg

  • Reximus

    Replace “Trump” with “Clinton” in ANY of these revelations and Republican heads would be exploding.

    • Vincent Ricola

      They’d have a spontaneous witch burning at the Lincoln memorial.

      • Washington. You know they think that giant obelisk is a fabulous representation of the GOP at large and those congress critters specifically

  • Joe Beese

    This is extra-double-super-obstruction of justice — not only did Trump try to kill the investigation, but he did it after he already knew or had strong reason to believe Flynn had lied to the FBI. He was actively trying to cover up a felony.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029924

  • Mary Sandoras

    Well, I usually donate quarterly by check and when I’m drunk. With this administration, I’m drinking more = more donations.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    https://res.cloudinary.com/ratebeer/image/upload/w_250,c_limit/beer_359328.jpg
    I think Trump opened this can, drank part of it and told Spicer to hold it while he fired Comey.

  • Joe Beese

    It’s interesting that the White House, which rants about not trusting anonymous sources, wouldn’t provide a quote for attribution refuting the story. Nobody would put their name on it.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029927

  • jowgajen

    If you haven’t read it yet, this Atlantic cover story is mandatory reading.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/lolas-story/524490/#article-comments

    • BosGrl

      I read this this morning. I thought about Lola all day.

    • SadDemInTex

      im glad he wrote about this before he died.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I agree, it’s engrossing and non-Trump related.

    • Kakariki

      Incredible story. I noted the mention of the editor’s note about the author at the top but did not read it until I finished the story. It somehow became even more powerful. Definitely mandatory reading.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Can I just say what a venal, revolting human being I think Comey is? As recently as a week ago he was willing to blatantly lie on Hillary and accuse her of a crime he knew she hadn’t committed in front of a congressional committee to cover his assistance to the Trump campaign. Only, surprise, he’s been privately building a dead man’s switch the whole time he never shared with his bosses in case he got fired.

    Fuck him so much.

    https://twitter.com/Amy_Siskind/status/864594815387926529

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    HOLY SHIT–from an email from Color of Change (which is why no link):

    Threats to Color Of Change staff have been on the rise since Trump was elected and with our recent win of getting Bill O’Reilly fired from Fox News the threats have become even more specific. Threats have targeted specific staff members, explicitly writing what they want to do such as “I hope we meet…I will kill you.”

    We won’t sit idly by as people threaten our staff. We are working to beef up our physical security to make sure every team member feels safe at work. We’ve had an expert who has handled threats against the Southern Poverty Law Center do a thorough audit of our physical security and make recommendations.

    And then they ask for money to cover security costs. Welcome to the reign of Donald the Terrible!

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Dude, that Comey memo sounds exactly like Trump, as if it were a transcript of a “tape”

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I wasn’t expecting another post! I put my funny joke in the wrong place!

    Taking bets now for how long it takes Trump to say he did tell Comey to drop the investigation but it was for the best reasons.

    24 hours
    16 hours
    4 hours
    Next toilet break

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      It’ll be 3 AM Eastern time in nine hours, so that’s my bet.

  • Nounverb911
    • Crystalclear12

      Oh Gawd, no, just no.

    • OrG

      No worries. THIS is when he’s going to make that presidential pivot.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        All over CNN, boilerplate “Trump Became Presidential” Word documents are just waiting to have the details filled in.

        • Joe Beese

          If someone writes him a speech for Saudi Arabia that doesn’t call all Muslims killbots, and Trump manages to read it all the way through without picking his nose and eating the booger, it will be the dawn of a Whole New Trump.

      • Sophia

        Problem is he keeps pivoting 360 degrees so he ends up back in the same place.

    • DainBramage

      Hey world! Once you take him in you have to keep him. No backsies!

    • Everything happens to Trump for a reason 😉
      http://images.memes.com/meme/mobile/990274

    • kaydenpat

      So he’ll call them radical islamists to their faces? Oh goody. What could possibly go wrong?

  • Joe Beese

    Out in America, Mr. Trump still has plenty of genuine admirers, people who view him as a brilliant, iconoclastic businessman. But there is scant evidence of such respect among the people who actually work with him in Washington. The New York Times recently reported that there are “deep resentments among his scarred staff,” and The Washington Post writes of aides “bewildered and alarmed by how Trump arrives at his decisions.” These men and women are suffering personally while propping up a presidency they appear to hold in contempt. They are allowing themselves to be permanently tarnished through their association with a man whose name is destined to become the root of a political epithet signifying disgrace, like McCarthyite or Nixonian.

    They aren’t just selling out their country. They’re selling out themselves.

    Great prizes await the first few people to break ranks and tell the country what they know about this corrupt and degenerate presidency. The majority of Americans who fear and disdain Mr. Trump will hail them as patriots. There are book and movie deals to be had and cable contracts to sign.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/16/opinion/free-advice-to-trump-aides-quit-while-you-can.html

    • TJ Barke

      Why do these people still admire him? Because of the rightwing echo chamber. They are constantly being fed lies.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Because when fed the truth, they spit it out and yell FAKE NEWS!

    • Mike Steele

      Those folks are money/power whores (KaC is their queen) who will tell you how it pains their conscience (ahem…) to take that check every two weeks while they sit in the skybox seats watching US implode. Donald plays ’em likes fiddles: step 1 – create crisis; step 2 – send out well-paid minions to deny crisis; step 3 – on Day 2, cut off spokesfolks at the knees and say, “Yeah, I did (whatever). So what? I’m POTUS.” Lather, reince, repeat. When the dust clears, may they remain jobless and friendless into eternity.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    What advice do you have for Donald’s staffers, Michelle Goldberg in the NYT?

    Free Advice to Trump Aides: Quit While You Can

    Out in America, Mr. Trump still has plenty of genuine admirers, people who view him as a brilliant, iconoclastic businessman. But there is scant evidence of such respect among the people who actually work with him in Washington. The New York Times recently reported that there are “deep resentments among his scarred staff,” and The Washington Post writes of aides “bewildered and alarmed by how Trump arrives at his decisions.” These men and women are suffering personally while propping up a presidency they appear to hold in contempt. They are allowing themselves to be permanently tarnished through their association with a man whose name is destined to become the root of a political epithet signifying disgrace, like McCarthyite or Nixonian.

    They aren’t just selling out their country. They’re selling out themselves.

    Great prizes await the first few people to break ranks and tell the country what they know about this corrupt and degenerate presidency. The majority of Americans who fear and disdain Mr. Trump will hail them as patriots. There are book and movie deals to be had and cable contracts to sign.

    OK, who will turn on Donald first and write the ultimate tell-all book? My money’s on Kellyanne, though Spicey could beat her to it…

    • Vincent Ricola

      $20 on slimy Reince Prebuis with a slimy Paul Ryan co-writing credit.

      • Lori

        Not Ryan. He’s not leaving his job until his constituents wise up and stop voting for him (so apparently never). More to the point, he doesn’t feel bad about what trump is doing because he doesn’t care. Ryan feels fine and will remain fine as long as the wheels don’t fall all the way off the go cart until after he utterly destroys the social safety net and hands all the money to the rich. That’s all he cares about. That’s all he has ever cared about.

    • Joe Beese

      KC. No doubt.

    • OrG

      But what about Honor Among Thieves? HAHA!

    • Lori

      “The majority of Americans who fear and disdain Mr. Trump will hail them as patriots.”

      Only if they’re total idiots. The only people who didn’t know that tRump of a dimwitted man baby are the evil morons who didn’t want to know. There are no heroes in the Trump White House and no one should ever hail any of his staff as anything but assholes and idiots, no matter what kind of tell-all they write.

    • Boscoe

      Not unless they can get out of the NDA’s trump made them all sign… :(

    • Meccalopolis

      No just no

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not Kellyanne, that’s for sure. Her husband’s firm makes a lot of money from russians, on dit, and he might not be welcome back from his hiatus in government if he stops the flow.

  • BosGrl
    • Shanzgood

      #45 also expanded the global gag rule this week.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    The guest on The Daily Show would like you to know Donnie’s attitude is the usual precursor to fascism and you need to stay vigilant.

  • Joe Beese

    Note that the WH denial does not dispute the existence of this memo.

    And the acting FBI director testified to the Senate last week “There has been no effort to impede our investigation to date.” Seems like the kind of thing Comey might have mentioned to him.

  • hendenburg2

    Well people, this one probably won’t be the last post of the night!

    Comey wrote memos detailing how Trump pressured him to end the Flynn investigation, and one of Comey’s “associates” just read it to the NYT after tucking it into bed! They might have even made scary faces with a flashlight too (citation needed)!

    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/comey-memo-says-trump-asked-him-to-end-flynn-investigation/ar-BBBdmgu?ocid=fbmsn

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      No. Stop. No more news breaking at night. THEY CAN WRITE SNARK ABOUT IT TOMORROW GOSH DARN IT WE ALL NEED A BREAK

    • cmd resistor

      I just went over to D Kos to look for something and there are about 10 stories up about the Comey memos.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I feel like I’m on a flaming, out-of-control roller coaster being struck repeatedly by lightning, while a massive tidal wave full of sharks approaches.

    • Boscoe

      Still, could be worse…

      • Joe Beese

        Sharknado.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        That’s true. It could be Hillary Clinton’s emails raining down on us from the heavens.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I feel like they might make good blankets though.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I’ll paper cut the hell out of a shark if I have to!

    • I was counting on you to be my Lifeguard!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Let me put on my red suit and bounce down the beach in slow-motion!

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Rawwrrr!

    • not_vh

      wait till you experience trump’s presidency.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      And the seatbelt is stuck, and there’s another coaster approaching from the other direction, and the people sitting behind us are zombies, and and and and

    • proudgrampa

      Hang in there, sweetie!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        The bursts of hysterical laughter help relieve the pressure.

        • proudgrampa

          I get that!

          Martinis help too. Also.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    When Trump visits the Vatican, will he seek shelter and asylum in the Sistine Chapel?

    • hendenburg2

      Isn’t he Scottish Presbyterian?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He sorta converted to prosperity gospel.

    • Spurning Beer

      He will rummage through the Sistine Chapel for little crackers and little wines.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      They should drop him in the Sistine Sistern.

  • What Pierre said

    Somebody posted this article on the previous post, but that post is infested with trolls, so I thought I’d post it again here. https://www.buzzfeed.com/sheerafrenkel/israeli-official-trump-sharing-intelligence-with-russia-is?utm_term=.vtlPg9R41#.dfnW7jQLp

    The money quote appears to be at the end of the article:

    The Israeli officials who spoke to BuzzFeed News said there has already been a push to stop sharing Israel’s most sensitive intelligence with Trump’s White House. It was Israel’s political echelons, they added, who insisted the intelligence-sharing continue, and who were hoping to use Trump’s mistakes as a way to gain leverage.

    “We are concerned about our long-term intelligence gathering operations,” said the Ministry of Defense official. “But politically [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu] Bibi sees a way to get what he wants out of Trump. He can say to Trump, you screwed us, now give us this or that.”

    If this is source is true it’ll be interesting to see what happens after the visit to Israel.

    Sad thing is, neither seems to be worried what will happen to the actual, real life, living people who are the intelligence sources on the ground.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Wait–we have trolls in the previous post? BRB!

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        They’re pretty boring. I won’t miss them when Doc Zoom finally gets off the toilet and grabs the hammer.

      • Yr. Gma

        Just the usual morans saying the same old stuff.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I can’t see that tactic being effective against Dampnut.

      • What Pierre said

        He does tend to agree with and/or accommodate the person who he was last talking to, so, maybe?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Trump sees everything as a power game. Admitting that he owes Bibi would be the weak position, the loser. If he thinks he screwed them over, he’ll see that as a win, not an obligation.

          • What Pierre said

            tRump sees everything in terms of what will benefit tRump. If he can be convinced there is some benefit to him, he will be convinced.

          • Bobathonic

            He’s been doing this a long time. He’ll find a way to convince himself.

    • Joe Beese

      … the dump that Trump just took on the tenuous relationship between [the Israeli government] and the USA government is extremely bad for us. Not just for the loss in intelligence, but because everyone in the world now realizes that if we’re willing to disclose Israeli intelligence to the Russians literally all bets are off on everything else.

      http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029947

    • Carpe Vagenda

      That’s hilarious, if true. What possible reason would he have to believe that being screwed by Trump would lead to Trump owing him? Is it going to cost anything for Trump to screw Israel? Does he think it’s going to hurt him with his base?

      • What Pierre said

        It could hurt him with the evangelical wing of the wingnuts

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nothing else has, and I’ll bet a lot of them are awful tired of pretending to like jews.

          • What Pierre said

            They don’t pretend to like jews, they like Israel. It has to be there so it can stop being there so they can get their big rapture thingy

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Not if they’re hoping to kickstart Armageddon

          • What Pierre said

            Well, tRump is their chosen vehicle after all

    • BosGrl

      Boy, you weren’t kidding about the trolls in there. Sportsball practice must have just let out.

    • MizzMazz

      Yeah, people can lose their lives over this shit, if it hasn’t happened already. Lots of folks just don’t know how serious this sort of thing is, and the WH spokesbots aren’t helping.

    • bupkus231

      “…He can say to Trump, you screwed us, now give us this or that….”

      Yah, Bibi still sounds like a thug….

  • Trump Clown told Comey to SHUT IT DOWN.
    https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder756/500x/76961756/scumbag-steve-shut-it-down-clown.jpg
    Obstruction of Justice

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Has anyone had the heart (and stomach, I still have my period thing and I had to reschedule my appointment for a reason) to find out if Republicans are still arguing this isn’t treason?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They’re arguing the only traitor is the one who told the media.

    • Shanzgood

      It was legal, apparently.

      • mackafritz

        If the president does it, it’s legal.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Actually, it still broke the law about treason. Although saying declassifying information (which is also a power Secretaries of State have) is a good bit of media spin.

        • Shanzgood

          Yeah, that’s their excuse. IANAL so I don’t know.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            They’re trying to have it both ways – they said that the President declassified it so no big. But they also say no one should know what it is because it is classified.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Either he declassified it or he didn’t. Either way, probably treason.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, right. He can do what he wants but we can’t tell you what he did because it’s dangerous.

            Fuck.

    • kaydenpat

      You know they’ll never admit that their President is a screw up who deserves to be impeached. Not as long as he promises to give them tax cuts for the rich and to take away healthcare from the poor.

      • mackafritz

        But they would get the same thing from Pence without the drama.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          This way there’s also the chance of a coup (which is currently happening). Wouldn’t want to interrupt that, you know?

      • OrG

        They will not act until they fear losing elections. But when they do it will be rats jumping off a sinking ship. Apologies to rats.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Or they’ll just screw with elections more. What’ll stop them?

    • Mike Steele

      Apparently intel came from Israel, and Bibi’s sayin’: No biggie. He’s just a loudmouthed punk from Queens; what’dya expect?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      They are strangely quiet, because Fox News isn’t reporting the details.

  • Shanzgood

    Hey, y’all! I’m headed out next week to see baconz! We’re only three months past my original travel plans…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/389e4dd02b8f3544cd75cb8d87a46a1196073d786007d0a374f3ca980dcdebbd.jpg

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m so happy for you. Have a good time.

      • Shanzgood

        Thank you! It took us a long time to get there.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I don’t know if I have told you but I have a bad habit of not expressing empathy for other people in LDRs. Like I know you have gone through a lot and it’s horrible and nothing to do with you but I have been dating Future Mr. Cats for nearly four years and I may still have to come back for another year after we get married so my patience is… other places.

          I’m authentically glad it’s working out for you though.

          • Shanzgood

            Thanks! I wasn’t feeling a lack of empathy from you so don’t feel bad on my account. I didn’t. I’m just letting folks know that FINALLY, after all the delays, we’re about to start working again on attempts at happymaking.

      • Shanzgood

        Whee!

    • Say Hi!

      • Shanzgood

        I will!

        • SpideySenser

          Hey you crazy kids – get a room!

          • Shanzgood

            Working on it!

          • SpideySenser

            Enjoy :-)

    • MizzMazz

      Great to hear. Have fun you two!

    • not_vh

      Like the legend of Phoenix
      We’re up all night ’til the sun
      We’re up all night to get some
      We’re up all night for good fun
      We’re up all night to get lucky

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5EofwRzit0

      • Shanzgood

        Ehhhh….I remember that song..,,

        • not_vh

          don’t out me as old. i just discovered daft punk and giorgio moroder

    • BosGrl

      Yay! have fun!

    • Suttree

      yay! And there was much rejoicing in Wonklandia!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      You two enjoy my hometown! LGP!*

      * If you have no idea WTF LGP means, ask Baconz–he’ll know.

      • Shanzgood

        I’ve been committed to having a Thistle Burgrer and an Iron City brew already. Should I be worried? Especially since he’s already exempted himself as a native?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Oh, honey, take it from me–you do NOT want to drink Iron City. Penn Brewery IPA or GTFO, for the sake of your tastebuds!

    • Sophia

      Woohoo! Have fun kids

    • Spurning Beer

      Lucky you! Pittsburgh is known as the Paris of western Pennsylvania, you know.

      • Shanzgood

        You’ve been listening to baconz…

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      You kids keep it down; I live only a few hundred miles away!

    • Ilgattomorte

      Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!
      Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do (No, seriously. Don’t do the stupid kind of shit I would do).

      • Shanzgood

        I don’t think the dumbest thing we’ve discussed doing is the same as the dumb stuff other people would do so…yay?

        • Ilgattomorte

          Just be happy.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, I think that after the whole randomly assigned jail thing “happy” shouldn’t be too difficult. But who knows?

  • Joe Beese

    Oh, for anyone not familiar with court proceedings; contemporaneous notes from a law enforcement officer, particularly an FBI agent, are generally held to be very strong and credible evidence in court. Jails are filled with people as a result of contemporaneous notes.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029953

    • OrG

      That’s good to know,but I’m sure few of those people in jail are rich and/or powerful.

  • Claire

    I donated for moar pics of My Boyfriends Bamz, Justin, and Emmanuel Macron. And for Donna Rose. But pics. Shirtless pics.

    • efoveks

      Wow. You have standards? I suppose you also wear pants?!? *sniff*

      • Claire

        …It depends. Do leggings count?

        • efoveks

          Nah. Way too comfortable :)

          • Claire

            Okay, then I’m safe.

  • Joe Beese
    • Suttree

      I remember! The answer is always no.

    • not_vh

      lol. fox admits there is a run that is on. just don’t start too early.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      What worries me is that Fox is creating a media universe where there’s nothing wrong with Trump’s presidency, meaning the investigation/impeachment will enrage and embitter an entirely new generation of wingnuts.

      Remember, Fox was formed by a bunch of media conservatives who thought that the media had been too harsh to Nixon. We’re still riding the waves of that particular right-wing temper tantrum.

      • Yr. Gma

        There is no new generation of wingnuts. Same old crowd.

        • Claire

          So I was listening to an Ezra Klein podcast where he interviewed David Frum, and Frum said an interesting thing. He said that his kids are conservative, but when they go to visit elderly relatives and Fox News is on, the kids last about two minutes before they have to leave the room. It’s a visceral negative reaction to the voices of the talking heads, the camera angles, and the set design. Frum compared it to opening Grandma’s wardrobe and getting smacked in the face with the smell of mothballs.

          When something is tailored that specifically to the sensory preferences of a certain demographic, it’s hard to attract a different demographic.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      like the way they were calling for hillary to be fired/jailed/hanged long before they had evidence of well nothing?

  • memzilla Ω

    Obama Willing to Serve as Temp President While Trump Receives Psychiatric Evaluation
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e8e41b76d8235498ca38896ad3b1cf363de918d7a18ff198a49c11eded4ef9ca.jpg

    • Claire

      CURSE THIS FOR BEING SATIRE.

    • Joe Beese

      (MULTIPLE) FAKE NEWS!

  • Joe Beese

    Sen. Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina Republican, said Tuesday that the former FBI director should testify before Congress about his conversation with Trump.
    And Sen. Dianne Feinstein told reporters that she “absolutely” thinks Comey should testify before the full Senate Judiciary Committee on the conversation.

    “I believe we should begin to hold hearing as a full committee on this,” she said.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/16/politics/trump-james-comey-memo/index.html

  • Ezio
    • not_vh

      SMRT

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Plus also too it keeps them from fucking up your computers… So three-dimensional chess, Trump-style… give away all the State secrets so his Twitter account is kept safe…

      • Ezio

        Kremlins…don’t tweet them after midnight.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That was a great movie… those little imps…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • IOnlyLikeCats

    We can start calling him traitor in chief now, right?

    • not_vh

      tic.

      i love it.

      • Rasilom

        Tick Liblez!!1!1!1

    • OrG

      By all means.

    • DainBramage

      Yes, and Rethugs in Congress are Legistraitors.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    UGH, those trolls on the previous post are vile. Fucked with them for a minute and then blocked the assholes.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Yeah, it’s just concern-trolling. Not even fun.

    • mancityRed6

      they have a lot of accounts, and a lot of free time apparently

      • Swampgas_Man

        “They”? I thought it was one guy with a split personality, upvoting his own comments, as one does.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Well, school’s out for the day, and dinner’s not for another half hour.

  • BosGrl

    Holy shit, Alan Dershowitz on MSNBC has flipped his lid. Yates’ warning is “idiotic” and Thomas Jefferson did something 1100 years ago, so NOTHING TO SEE HERE! Even Greta is like, “uh, dude?”

    • Joe Beese

      Speaking as one Jew to another, in the words of our people, Alan, may you catch the cholera and drop dead.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        It sounds better in the original Yiddish.

    • proudgrampa

      WTF????

      Maybe Flynn or someone else has hired him?

    • Claire

      Jesus. Literally no one should care about what Alan Dershowitz thinks on any topic, and while Thomas Jefferson was smart enough that his opinion should not be entirely overlooked, he and the rest of the founders had too much irrational faith in human nature to anticipate a President Trump.

      • BosGrl

        Well they had been through King George, so…

        • Claire

          That’s true. But it’s clear that the structure they established doesn’t have built-in remedies for what happens if a lunatic President gets into office at a time when the three branches of government are all controlled by the same corrupt party that has no interest in reining said lunatic president in. So while they might have accounted for an American King George, they assumed that his court would be able to sit on him and stop him from hitting the nuke button.

          This is why I don’t agree with people who say we aren’t in a constitutional crisis. The Constitution doesn’t have any provisions for this kind of wholesale corruption, or for removing a President from office if the election proves to be illegitimate.

          • BosGrl

            Good point. Maybe that will change when the dust clears.

          • Claire

            I really hope so, or else we’ll have to go through all of this all over again.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Joe Beese

      Hey, did we mention that US industrial production surged in April??

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      That’s a start. Now, please start chattering the I word FFS!

  • Begin Anew Day

    I consider my subscription to Wonkette as supporting The Benevolent Deities in their unending war against the forces of Darkness.

    C’mon folks! Lets all get on the side of the ANGELS and help keep their halos bright and shiny!

  • Joe Beese

    How goes things at RedState?

    Now things are going to get serious. It is going to come down to Trump vs. Comey. The White House, of course, is denying it…

    Who to believe? With all due respect, it would not surprise me one bit if Trump asked Comey to back off the Flynn investigation. Trump doesn’t have the sense to understand that by doing so, he’s engaging in obstruction of justice. He probably just thought it was a friendly conversation.

    It is not a story anti-anti-Trump people get to wave away with, “Anonymous sources!” and “Fake news because it is the NY Times!”

    A simple denial is not going to be enough in this case. This will demand an investigation and there is simply no way, anybody associated with Trump can conduct it.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Ignorance of the law, ‘t’ain’t no excuse, amigos.

    • not_vh

      i once punched an obnoxious stranger in the nose thinking it was just friendly banter.

      • Bobathonic

        Might’ve been locker room talk, too.

    • Meccalopolis

      When you’ve lost red state

      • mancityRed6

        meh, they were pro Cruz. that doesn’t mean they don’t post absolute bullsh*t on their page

  • La forza del resistino

    OT: learned man Alan Dershowitz on tv ranting on about Yates’ Flynn blackmail theory. He starts calling her Sally Flynn then settles on calling her Sally Quinn.

    • BosGrl

      He has completely lost it. Old Man Shakes Fist at Cloud.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I didn’t understand at all his ranting about, “Just tell Flynn they know about the blackmail material! Then he’s not open to being blackmailed anymore!” Whut.

    • mailman27

      He’s exited the sally port.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    So! In ONE WEEK:
    Fuckface von Clownstick fires Comey, says he did it because of the memo, then says he did it because he wanted to. Two staffers fall under bus.
    FvC hosts Russians in Oval, tells them Israeli spy info, WH says no he didn’t, and if he did it’s okay anyway and he says yeah, I did. Three staffers go under the bus.
    FvC tried to get Comey to drop investigation into Flynn, Comey wrote it down, FvC firing clears the way for Comey to testitfy openly before congress. Did staffers avoid the bus this time? Maybe our staffers is learning.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I think Comey, like Susan Rice, is waiting for a subpoena. From a true investigative body. Like a grand jury.

  • Nick Scroggs

    So it’s been over 100 days, has Trump tried to lock up the Clinton clan yet?

    • Jennifer R

      Give it until friday.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • not_vh

      Elementary Ms. Watson. Also too, well played with the quotes.

  • msanthropesmr
    • BosGrl

      So freaking cute!!

    • Meccalopolis

      Hey! Get a load a dat guy

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh that is one cute pup!!

      • not_vh

        and happy too.

    • La forza del resistino

      ‘It’s hard to take a nap with you pointing that thing at me, Dad.’

    • memzilla Ω

      That is a beagle gaining, and then losing, hope that a treat is involved.

  • Joe Beese

    [Adam Schiff] says that he believes this is beyond the scope of the intelligence committee and should involve the Judiciary committee. That may be inside baseball but is very important. The intelligence committee is not involved in domestic crimes or recommendations of impeachment, but the judiciary committee most certainly is.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029976

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      So much for our dippy friends on the HillzMurder, Inc. thread.

  • jesterpunk
    • We give them moneyz so they don’t shut up.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah I kind of have that backwards but its the first meme I could find about giving money.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

    Trix, instead of buying this mommyblog, you probably could have had Chuck C. Johnson’s Nazi site for One Million Deutschmarks and a sour kraut sandwich!

    • Jennifer R

      Never get the stink of nazi out though.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • BosGrl

    I rarely comment on someone’s appearance but who is this guy with the missing front tooth saying “neener neener” on MSNBC and why do we care what he thinks?

    • snark-lurker

      he hath a mithing toof?!

      • BosGrl

        Why would you go on TV that way? Maybe it’s me and I’m just getting old.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Cernovich in his natural state?

    • Bobathonic

      Guy with missing front tooth libelz!

    • La forza del resistino

      Blake Farenthold (R-scaredoforthodontia)

  • Jennifer R

    Burr and Reich are openly carrying water for donnie still.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Burr is A idiot.

      • Jennifer R

        Does he matter enough to be A Kompromised idiot?

    • weejee

      And Kimberly Guilfoyle is in a dead run trying to get Spicey’s job. Did any of the critters that might have been on the iceberg choose to jump on board the Titanic?

  • Chadwells

    Comey gonna show Fuckface what an ice cold gansta really is. I might actually like Comey at the end of all this.

    • OrG

      Hate less maybe?

      • Chadwells

        That sounds more achievable than full on like. Lets go with that!!

      • Claire

        If he brings down Trump, I will hate him less. Maybe I’ll slightly pull my kick in his balls if I ever meet him. But only slightly.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Trending on Twitter: #ObstructionOfJustice!

    • weejee

      Do you think Pence has already asked his attorney to start drafting an orange pardon?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I think he’s trying to find a country without extradition to “retire” to.

  • I was thinking about Chuck C Johnson the other day, while stabbing my tongue with a fork. I almost thought for a moment he vanished in shame after his expulsion from twitter, but here he is.

  • goingohm

    Consigliere Sessions: “Goldfather, what did you do about Comey?”

    Don Cheeto Corleone: “I made him an offer he refused. Sad. For me.”

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “But did he bring the cannoli?”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        With double scoops. Have to have two!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “And even now I lie awake
    Knowing history has its eyes on me”
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/864607287062790144

  • Nick Scroggs
  • La forza del resistino

    How does any of this get to bottom of the one bullet theory or the fake moon landing?

    • jesterpunk

      I thought George Soros was responsible for both of them?

      Also denying the moon landing get people punched.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OROlF8zB9z0

      • vivian

        Yeah, but I mean, punched by an Astronaut! How cool is that? The highlight of a sad and wasted life.

        • jesterpunk

          There are 2 things you can get punched for and no one will get charged. Being a Nazi and claiming the moon landing was fake to a guy who walked on the moon.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Everclear.

  • Reximus

    “President Trump reportedly told now-ousted FBI Director James Comey to
    consider jailing reporters who publish leaked classified information,
    according to The New York Times.”

    So the WH leaks to reporters and they should go to jail for reporting the leaks…insanity

    • Chadwells

      Isn’t there a legal word for that….let me think…entrapment?!?!

    • not_vh

      and leaks like what? leaks of national importance. without leaks flynn would still be there.

    • Jennifer R

      There is some delisicous irony in regards to The Fucking New York Times getting to break THAT story.
      Go read up on New York Times Co v United States if you don’t remember.

      • Reximus

        and their subscriptions will go up too

  • biologydave

    If I was a cynical guy, I’d think that after complaining about how Obama was ruling the country like a king, the right figured they could truly do whatever they wanted once they took power and nobody would bat an eye. While not a scientific poll, many of the *ugh* Trump supports at work think there is nothing wrong with what he’s doing since the Dems did it worse. Either that or this current WH crew is just blatantly stupid.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I seem to have missed the time that Obama also blurted classified info in front of a hostile foreign power in order to make himself look important.

      • biologydave

        To the true Trump supporter, EVERYTHING Obama did was treasonous. I in no way agree with this, but I live and breathe in a Trumpistan area and have endured this crap for 8 years of meth-fueled ignorance.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          I honestly don’t know whether they themselves believe that, or that this is all just a defense mechanism to cover their embarrassment of voting for an idiot.

        • Claire

          I’ve seen this gamed out on Twitter. Republican reps won’t move to impeach Trump unless their voters turn against him. But R voters live in an information bubble created by the GOP to serve their own purposes, so they aren’t getting the information required to make an intelligent decision even if they could. Result: the GOP stays in office and so does Trump.

          Gluing this country back together would require deprogramming so many people that I honestly don’t know how it could be done.

          • biologydave

            Very, VERY, well-said. The answer to this needs to be part of the calculus for 2018.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    If Congress doesn’t stand up to the crazy tinpot in the White House the crazy tinpot will remain in the White House while they and the press continue to normalize his tinpot antics. Think about it.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I don’t see any normalization here. Congress is strangely quiet and letting events roll over them.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I have seen Republicans on cable news desperately trying to normalize while staying officially quiet.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I’ve been streaming CNN all day. I haven’t seen any GOP doublespeak.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I watched them doublespeak all yesterday evening.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Yesterday was before the memos.

  • BosGrl
    • mancityRed6

      if the intel really did come from the Israelis, then it is bad since they already had doubts about passing him intel with fears he would tell Russia and Iran would get called in on a group text.

      • weejee

        Or Bibby is gaming tRump and Putin.

        • Claire

          That’s a possibility, since Israel has apparently already been warned against sharing intel info with Trumpmerica. Either that, or they were warned and did it anyway and now they’ve gotten burned.

        • mancityRed6

          if not then, they and others, will be now
          how long until tRump starts tweeting fake intelligence?

      • mailman27

        Bibi will turn on a dime, saying”it wasn’t our intelligence!” The current Israeli government couldn’t be happier with our Repub lege w/ useful idiot in tow.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I for one welcome our new German liberators.

      • data_ninja

        A sentence never written before in history.

    • OrG

      I’m gonna say the ship’s already sailed on trump becoming a security risk for the entire western world. Eastern too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Now that I think about it, I’m surprised Donald hasn’t sent Ivanka out to try to cover for him. Has the “feminism is profitable!” first daughter finally caught on to what a train wreck her father is?

    • Thiazin Red

      I’d say I hope she and the other two end up working minimum wage jobs somewhere, because all of their assets were seized and they don’t have any qualifications that weren’t bought for them, but then I would feel terrible for their coworkers.

  • dslindc

    I do not have 1.5 million dollars, Alan!

    I have far fewer dollars, but you can have some of them.

  • Jenny

    Just imagine the illegal stuff these guys would do in office if they were actually competent! I mean, Obama, amirite?!?

  • Nick Scroggs

    Ever have an annoying professor, like the stereotypical kind who leaves things out of history, who basically just gives cliches of the 60s and things that happened, ignores individual actions and other things, who’s a week behind on the syllabus and just pontificates about how Kennedy was bad and that all racism is systematic? God, i can earn more on the Black Power movement on Wikipedia, I’m serous.

    • Jenny

      So, high school history in Texas?

      • Nick Scroggs

        No, college level US history at UCLA, like a left-leaning version of an old right-wing professor i had elsewhere.

        • Doug Langley

          Look on the bright side. At least the school’s soaking you for every penny you’ll ever make for the rest of your life.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Yeah, lucky me. Fucking Howard Jarvis.

    • Yr. Gma

      I’m sure he’s impressed with your intellect, too, Nick.

      • Nick Scroggs

        It’s a she, and I’m not sure.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Wait, just to clarify, this is sarcasm ,right?

  • m3bosha

    Ok. So I’m starting to think at some point on election day the universe split and for some bullshit reason or other we got stuck with the shitty version. Somewhere in the space time continuum you, me and the Wonkeverse live in a place where Hillary won. And much like that dumb movie with Jim Carrey, we are all on a reality tv program that they watch to learn a lesson about what happens when a thin skinned orange egotist who may or may not have dementia and loves Russia was elected instead.

  • Joe Beese

    The iron law of Trump tells us that he will tweet out at 5:00AM tomorrow that he threatened Comey “like a dog” not to investigate his good friend Michael Flynn.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029978

  • BosGrl
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Legistraitors appear to be literal Nazis.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      His district is an easy day trip for me. We’re coming for you, Darryl!

    • Spurning Beer

      Classy guy. We’re all going to need to reconsider our attitudes toward arson and car theft.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    When you act treasonously to cover up your obstruction of justice to hide your treason.

    https://twitter.com/Wilson__Valdez/status/864229702965317632

    • OrG

      EVERYTHING fuckface von clownstick does is a distraction from the last thing he did which was a distraction from…..etc.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I’m not sure I give him credit for actually planning the distractions.

        • Crystalclear12

          Don’t give the room full of monkeys credit for Shakespeare’s plays.

        • OrG

          I didn’t say he PLANNED it.

        • Claire

          This. It’s not a distraction, it’s the basic fact that Trump can’t go 24 hours without stepping on his own dick in some spectacular way.

    • Claire

      That “It’s a distraction” line is well old. It’s just another attempt to impose a narrative that makes sense onto the geyser of stupidity coming out of the Trump administration; like it’s more comforting to believe that they’re purposely evil than to believe that they’re flailing around without a clue as to how the world works, making endless excuses for a typical 70-year-old white guy who thinks he’s the authority on every topic whether he knows anything about it or not.

  • DainBramage

    Obama’s 11-dimensional chess ploy is working. Let Comey throw the election to Trump. Given everything that makes Trump Trump, he’ll get in serious trouble, with Comey there to document it. Trump impeached and the Republican Party destroyed.

    • data_ninja

      Does this give Comey credit for taking down two presidential candidates then?

      • DainBramage

        I think Trump is taking himself down through his virtuoso combination of ignorance and arrogance.

    • miss_grundy

      Oh to be a fly in Bamz’s and Michelle’s living room just about now……

    • TJ Barke

      Can I get the name of what you’re smoking? Cuz I don’t want any.

      • DainBramage

        Yeah, except for the end result, the rest is distasteful in the extreme.

  • Joe Beese

    I’m guessing it was a source close to James Comey. A source coterminous, coincident, commensurate and coextensive with James Comey.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029991

  • Thiazin Red

    I saw the Battle of the Sexes trailer and as much as I think Stone is a good actor, its disappointing that the people making it made zero effort to make her look athletic or less gorgeous.

    King was bashed for not being pretty enough and being too muscular, so having her played by a skinny very pretty woman seems like a cop out. It isn’t undoable either, Theron was unrecognizable in Monster. Slapping some glasses on Stone isn’t going to make her not look beautiful.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Carrell is also enormously more attractive than Bobby Riggs, which I’m kind of peeved about. Part of what made that so infuriating was that he was such a low-end wannabe.

  • Joe Beese

    Toobin on CNN: If true, felony obstruction of justice

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      That has a nice ring to it.

      • BosGrl

        Yeah, well he’ll be pardoned and Bank of Oligarchy will still give him credit, so he will be fine while we walk through the charred remains of our country.

        • Suttree

          Are there any crimes he cannot be pardoned for?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I don’t believe that he can be pardoned by the president for state law matters. Which would mean unless Andy Cuomo is significantly less interested in being president than I think he is, he’s fucked hard in New York.

            I would kind of enjoy watching a petulant-off between Cuomo and Sanders.

          • BosGrl

            I think a president can pardon anything?

          • Claire

            I think I’ve heard the same as Carpe Vagenda – that if it’s a state-based prosecution he can’t issue a pardon. That will be bad news for Trump, as running afoul of the NYAG office on RICO matters is like crossing a Sicilian when death is on the line. They will hound you to your actual grave.

          • BosGrl

            That is good. By the way, don’t cross me – I’m Sicilian :D

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          A full investigation would turn up evidence against Mike and not doing a full investigation (especially with people calling for an election do over) is probably going to lead to riots. I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m saying if Republicans do that they are not only unamerican, they are too stupid to live.

          • BosGrl

            Agree 100%. I’m just starting to despair of this man having to deal with any consequences.

    • Spurning Beer

      That calls for an acronym: FOOJ!

      • DainBramage

        Trump FOOJed all over himself.

        • Crystalclear12

          Yep, works.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        I pity the FOOJ.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    For the asshole Deleted Commenters in the last post (don’t bother, they’re too vile to have any fun with):

    https://twitter.com/AsteadWH/status/864262487742361600

    • Edith Prickly

      There was a distinct whiff of unwashed socks around that bunch. Sad! Weak!

    • Claire

      I really, really hope everyone is just saying that to cover for the fact that that asset is now running a halal truck in Soho.

  • Joe Beese
    • Suttree

      I’ll believe it if he keeps repeating it until it happens.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Yes but we’ll all keep mumbling “oh please oh please oh please” under our breath.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Is that a quote from 3 Corinthians?

      • Yr. Gma

        Did they walk into a bar?

    • jesterpunk

      Is little Marco going to ask about Hillary again?

    • OrG

      Get ahead of the curve little marco,repub primary jostling starts sooner than you think.

      • Joe Beese

        And Kasich is already out there flacking his new book.

        • data_ninja

          Fuck Kasich with all of the rusty Buckeye votes and spray it off with shitty Toledo water.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Basically anyone who knew what was happening and couldn’t bring themselves to oppose it should pretty much go fuck themselves. But the Governor of a swing state more than most.

    • not_vh

      please avoid biblical incantations though.

  • Joe Beese
    • Joe Beese

      “DT sent back steak as having been cooked only medium well. Insisted on well done. After waiter left, tried to dislodge spinach stuck between his teeth using fork tine. Asked if I liked the new tie he was wearing.”

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        “I, uh… can’t hear ya nod, Jamie. Here – lean a little closer to this wonderful tie I’m wearing.”

      • LucindathePook

        Yeah, like he’d eat spinach.

    • MizzMazz

      “I wrote it that way so Dolt 45 wouldn’t understand a bit of it.”

    • not_vh

      tape this pussygrabber.

      • Rasilom

        Duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      CAPTION: “I know you can’t see it, but, my nipples are REALLY HARD under this shirt, just thinking of how badly Trump has fucked himself.”

  • SterWonk

    Beaker LIBEL!!!!!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    John McCain is likely now “very concerned.”

    • Joe Beese

      Is there a McCain Concern-O-Meter to accurately register his level of concernedness?

      • data_ninja

        It goes from Maverick to Palin.

      • Suttree

        Yes, but the low and the high on the meter switch every 24 hours and the needle stays static.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      He’s upgraded…. it’s now “seriously troubling”

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Oh no, will he taunt someone a second time!?

    • Anna Rompage

      Is he calling for the bombing things & people?

  • Anna Rompage

    Chuck C Johnson… Sounds like the lead antagonist from a gay porno based on the Deliverance…

    • mancityRed6

      worse, his nickname is “chucksey”

  • Joe Beese

    When you’ve lost Shep Smith…

    Who am I kidding. No one gives a shit what Shep Smith thinks.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3257dde6bb5ad7496be181d4dcd33ce8a19186b3e30fc19b10fef6c2d590ab0f.png

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      This is the part of the movie where we find out for sure if we’re a dictatorship now or not.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Shep Smith has actually been the lone voice in the wilderness for a while

    • Suttree

      So do they shitcan Shep or keep him around to say “Look we are too fair and balanced”?

      • proudgrampa

        That’s the ONLY reason they keep him around…

  • puredog

    Are you saying that Donna Rose is fulla booze? Because that just seems. . . .wrong.

    • mackafritz

      Nah. They are just scared.

      • Crystalclear12

        Scared or brave, whatever gets the job done.

      • Suttree

        Self-preservation is a hell of a drug.

    • Yr. Gma

      Hey, when you lose Palmdale…

    • data_ninja

      Agreeing to a special prosecutor just buys time in hopes that people will forget/cool down about things, or at least let them cover their tracks while the other people get taken down.

  • Joe Beese

    Did anyone say “conspiracy to obstruct justice”?

    https://twitter.com/matthewamiller/status/864606878453706753

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      ANYONE IN THIS ADMINISTRATION NOT ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN TREASON OR COVERUPS?

      • jesterpunk

        Maybe the janitor Boris?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Maybe the cook?

        • Suttree

          The cook is poisoning him slowly with burnt steak.

          • Jenny

            I hope the chef is sneaking Obama garden vegetables into all his favorite foods!

          • LucindathePook

            Good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.

      • Thiazin Red

        NONE OF THEM KATIE!

    • Jenny

      I bet they got that memo. Some secretary will be like oh yeah, I handed it right to him.

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      We’ll have to have testimony from the person who showed it to them directly because they know how to flatly deny something and not contradict it five hours later.

      But I wouldn’t doubt Sessions is guilty as shit, and I look forward to his ride of shame back to Alabama.

      • Werewolf

        I look forward to his ride of shame to Leavenworth. Or Gitmo.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Carpe Vagenda

      That’s just epic.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “When they came for James Comey, I pretended to be outraged so I could be sanctimonious on Meet The Press for 15 minutes, then forget all about it”.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Maybe someone should tell Trump that it was a taller, more handsome, respected and loved person who asked Comey to stand down on Flynn. He’ll be admitting to it on Twitter in no time.

    • Sophia

      Large hands also too

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Not dead yet:

    MSNBC and Lawrence O’Donnell are in negotiations to keep the veteran host in his 10 p.m. slot at MSNBC, according to two people familiar with the discussions. While the outcome of any talks about renewal or extension are never guaranteed, the network hopes to keep the former “West Wing” producer and writer anchoring his “The Last Word,” according to these people.

    Recent press reports have suggested that MSNBC might be looking to part ways with O’Donnell and open his 10 p.m. hour to a new host. But one of the people familiar with the discussions suggested that speculation might be the result of one of the parties trying to sway negotiations. The reports, this person suggested, might best be viewed as “a new twist on an old game of chicken.”

    You damn well better keep him, MSNBC!

  • La forza del resistino

    “YOU! GIVE US SOME MOTHERFUCKING MONEY.”
    I like it when Mom sweet talks me, so I boosted some lunch money from some kids and will send it along.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I shook down a couple of panhandlers. Will that help?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Assuming that Pence is clean, they’re going to have to come up with a proven, safe, stable, globally trustworthy person for the new VP.

    Pence/McCain 2017

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Flynn proves he’s not

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Good point. Pence/Romney?

        • data_ninja

          Conflict of religions. Pence would pick someone as fundie as he is, assuming he gets the pick.

          • mackafritz

            Huckabee?

          • Sophia

            Now you’ve gone to far YOU MONSTER

          • Thiazin Red

            Santorum.

          • BosGrl

            We’ve already got santorum for president.

          • data_ninja

            Goddammit that is more his style.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Ryan/McCain, you mean?

        • OrG

          I assumed she meant pence.

  • BosGrl
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It would have been irresponsible to not have speculated wildly.

    • The Wanderer

      Yes, because he’s a Republican Christian. Christ would simply point and proclaim a la Chick tract, “Depart from me, ye damned.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      No, you triggered it by being an asshole.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Doug Langley

    Been trying to get hold of one recruiter for couple days now, no luck. Not a good sign.

    Got ahold of the other recruiter. He confirmed that in one month he will get with client and see what’s up. What direction they want to go in, blah blah. In other words, they’ll talk themselves out of hiring anyone. My guess. I said I’d have to look for something else and he says “Oh yes! Good idea! Go ahead!” So even he’s given up on this shit.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      What do you do?

      • Doug Langley

        I look for work. Oh – you mean on those rare occasions someone’s paying me. Computer stuff. Web design, graphics, programming, database. And I’ve taught college level.

        • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

          Last time I was in a slump for web-related work, I advertised IT work on Craigslist. Swear to Grodd, I had enough people hire me freelance to get through until business picked back up. If you want help writing an ad, I have a good template you can have.

          • Doug Langley

            Dubious about Craigslist. Does it pay anything?

          • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

            No, I meant people searching for IT help on Craigslist. I was shocked. It was an old ad I had on there and people started calling, so I updated it.

          • h4rr4r
          • Doug Langley

            Well, considering how they’ve screwed up my food stamps, I’m almost tempted.

          • h4rr4r

            If you need money for food, let us know. I am sure we can make that happen.

          • Doug Langley

            I’ve lost 20 lbs in the past couple of months and that was with no exercising at all. That give you a clue?

            gofundme.com/dougs-expenses

            I appreciate anything.

          • h4rr4r

            Paypal?
            Gift has no fees.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I’d like to see that template, please. Can I subscribe to your newsletter? cynmac07 at gmail dot com.

          • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

            Totally. Let me dig it up and I’ll send it over.

          • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

            It sounds so cheesy but try something like this

            (Your City) Based IT Professional

            Having computer problems?
            Can’t get your printer to work?
            Need a network storage solution?
            My IT Company (Call It Something) is available to help you make your office run more efficiently. We can help you with printer/fax integration, office networking, email management, cloud
            storage and best practices, backup setup, antivirus, remote login, and any other IT-related problems that your company requires.

            Call us at ( ) or email ( )@( ).com to setup an IT consultation. Don’t let your business fall behind the times.

            Remember, you’re not pitching this to other IT pros. You’re pitching it to people looking for help who don’t know as much as you do. KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) is the name of the game here. Hopefully that will get you a good start.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Huh. Well, send Rebecca your resume and have her forward it to me, and I’ll pass it on to my corporate behemoth employer.

          • Doug Langley

            I’m dumb. What’s Rebecca’s email?

          • Carpe Vagenda
          • Doug Langley

            Done. I sent two flavors, one .doc and one .pdf.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Obviously I can’t promise anything, but there’s a fair amount of digital involved.

            Just, please be fairly sane and responsible or I’ll feel bad :(

        • h4rr4r

          Too bad you are not nearby.

        • LucindathePook

          Have you tried publishers of trade/business magazines as a graphic designer. I’ve been privileged to work with several and it seemed people needed them a lot more than they wanted editors. She said jealously.

          • Doug Langley

            They want experience in PRINT graphics, NOT video or web graphics. People are incredibly picky these days.

          • LucindathePook

            Too bad. They do have online editions, and I used to have to do ours, after our artist set it up for me.

        • Incoming Ham

          Where are you located? People with good front end dev/viz des/animation etc. are in demand here.

    • BosGrl

      I’m sorry, Doug. I’m still slogging through it too. It really sucks.

      • Doug Langley

        It’s doing more than sucks. In one month, my bank account is pulped and I have ZERO money.

        • BosGrl

          I know hugs don’t help at all but I’m sending you one anyway.

          • Doug Langley

            Thanks. BTW, my gofundme is still active.

    • LucindathePook

      Feel for you, Doug. I know what it’s like. Keep plugging away–freelancing had led to long-term employment for me. And good hopes to all the job-seekers out there.

      • Doug Langley

        GAGGG!!! I’ve freelanced and all it got me was headaches and underpayment. Yesterday was contacted by one guy who wanted lots of freelance work from me. I said yes, I sure need the work. Then he admitted it would be “unpaid”.

        WHY DO THINGS KEEP WORKING FOR OTHERS AND REFUSE TO WORK FOR ME????????

        • LucindathePook

          Yeah, I read that and responded. Has happened to me, too, over and over and over for 22 months. I once worked for like 5 cents a word. Or maybe it was five words for a penny. I did finally get my job through freelance contacts with people I’d worked with before who knew my work. You have to hang in there because there’s no other choice.

        • Incoming Ham

          That happens all the time. Best way to find clients is through referrals (as comment below). You build up a network pretty quick.I have been freelancing for a long time.

          I had an accountant firm ask me for free work. I responded sure, if you want to do my taxes for free for the next five years I’d be happy to.

          I never heard from them again. You don’t want those people as clients.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Out for now on this note. Fight on, Wonkers!

    https://twitter.com/davidaxelrod/status/864609322214592512

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And anxiously counting down the minutes until he appears on CNN to walk it back.

      • BosGrl

        Hannity

    • TJ Barke

      Sure, if the repukes weren’t all complicit scum.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m seriously waiting for the new version of “locker talk.” He’ll say he was “just joking.” I just bet that’s what they’re going to say.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      What a quaint and endearing notion, on Mr. Axelrod’s part, to invoke the rule of law.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I bet he listens to music on 8-track tapes.

        • theCryptofishist

          In house string quartet liebbbulllz.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            One of the guys in my band continues to record demos of new songs he writes on cassette for the rest of us to learn. The pitch not only wobbles, but is off by about 3/4 of a step. I’m like, “dude, there’s a REASON we’re not playing any of your songs”.

    • ArgieBargie

      LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

      I wouldn’t hold my breath, sadly. The GOP will likely wait until they pass tax reform and NObamaCare before they throw Trump under the bus.

      • Incoming Ham

        The GOP is willing to sell out the American people just to be able to say they finally got their way.

  • marxalot

    Heard an interesting theory while back in TX re: Frump doesn’t read/can Frump read. The answer is “not anymore” and here was the theory (no established evidence but it fits the pattern, fits known facts, and is plausible as hell): almost as soon as it became available, most likely in the early-mid 80s, Donnie had radial keratotomy. He did it so that he wouldn’t have to wear glasses; since then, however, the longterm effects have in essence robbed him of close range vision, and his long range isn’t great either. He would need to wear serious reading glasses for anything smaller than about 40 pt font, which explains why he doesn’t read– anything. Doesn’t read executive orders, doesn’t work from a teleprompter, squints constantly. Does he ever actually drive himself? It’s possible that he’s been functionally blind since the late 90s.
    As for his brain– he’s been taking Propecia for decades. One of the side effects of which (long term) is something that looks a hell of a lot like senile dementia.

    • BosGrl

      Would he be able to play golf with that condition?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Not very well. More proof.

      • marxalot

        Sure: point downrange, swing like hell, walk off looking for the high contrast little white thing, cheat. No sweat.

        • Sophia

          Hey! That’s the way I play golf

        • LucindathePook

          Caddy does the ball-finding for you.

    • David Pakman show
      https://youtu.be/bd79UsXSLWg

    • MizzMazz

      Propecia is fucked. I understand it is not safe for a woman to even handle the pills if she might be, or could get pregnant.

    • Werewolf

      As for the inability to read-nah, I don’t think so. If he can keep himself under control, he can read off a TelePrompTer. Remember the SOTU speech “that made him a President “?

  • jesterpunk

    Trump pissed off all out allies and shouldnt go overseas to those countries.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2017/05/16/trumps-overseas-trip-must-be-canceled-the-risks-are-too-great/

    But less than two hours after McMaster spoke, the New York Times reported this
    afternoon that Israel is the ally whose intelligence Trump inappropriately shared with Russian officials. Although Israel would not confirm the report, it would, if true, vindicate the fears of Israeli intelligence officials who warned, even before Trump took office, that intelligence shared with the United States could be leaked to Russia, and potentially passed on to Iran.

    Here’s the upshot of all this: Trump’s trip must be canceled. Our national
    security, our relationships with allies, and the security of the world
    are at risk due to the president’s erratic behavior and inability to
    adhere to basic norms of both democracy and diplomacy.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Should be canceled. Won’t be canceled. And it is shaping up to be a disaster. Last night on MSNBC they were talking about how most new Presidents make their first trip to a neighbor, like Canada or Mexico. Ease into the travel schedule. Not these guys.

      • jesterpunk

        Everyone wants to go too including Bannon and Spicey because what could possibly go wrong there?

        http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/16/trump-foreign-staff-top-aides-join-238446

        Son-in-law Jared Kushner, daughter Ivanka Trump, chief strategist Steve
        Bannon, chief of staff Reince Priebus, economic adviser Gary Cohn,
        deputy National Security Adviser Dina Powell, policy adviser Stephen
        Miller and press secretary Sean Spicer will all be along for major
        chunks of the trip, according to multiple White House officials.
        Secretary of State Rex Tillerson will travel with Trump through the
        final stop in Sicily for the G7 conference, and National Security
        Adviser H.R. McMaster will be along for the entirety of the trip.

        • Suttree

          If they load up both Air Force 1s (yeah I know) they will have something to trade when they land in Russia.

        • Incoming Ham

          The upside is that means that the big party house on Pennsylvania ave will be available for an epic rave. Just can’t trash the place before everyone gets home.

          • jesterpunk

            Can we change the locks while he is out then turn off the light when he gets back so he thinks no one is there?

  • chascates

    The plot thickens.

  • Joe Beese

    ‪Fox News saying they can’t get any Republicans to appear.‬

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7030039

    • BosGrl

      Hell just froze over.

    • Suttree

      What the opposite of patriotism and bravery? Oh right republican.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    as some wicked smart Wonketteer said a few days ago, We need to shut the presidency down for 6 months until we figure out what the hell is going on.

  • vivian
  • WomanInThePersistence
  • medcannabis1

    I love the WONKETTE…..

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    At least Trump didn’t talk about arugula because that’s the kind of thing that undermines our democracy, alienates our allies, and might accidentally start WWIII.

    • not_vh

      and cast aspersions on our aspirations.

      • Christopher Story

        I thought it was asparagus?

        • not_vh

          tomato tohmahto.

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            Tomatoe

          • Suttree

            Potatoe

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Only you know what? The farmers who planted arugula or organic anything (you know, a product folks with money will pay a premium for) are making money right now.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Aren’t they all lesbians trying to convert us with toaster ovens?

        Also, too: I love arugula, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

        A little endive never hurts either.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          True story: I moved to NC right out of school, and a friend invited me to a party with some foodies she knew. Who told me their arugula didn’t turn out right, so I asked where it was and tried it, and it tasted like arugula, which I told them.

          And then the wife said “Really? We thought a dog peed on it.”

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Hey, I never gave up on my toaster oven. I always knew microwaves couldn’t be trusted to keep my risotto secrets. Wake up sheeples!!!1!11!! Also too, be gay and stuff!!1!!11!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Almonds. Plus, you steal the prodigious amounts of water it takes to grow them from the state of California. Win/win.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Look at what risotto recipes did to the Clinton campaign!

    • Suttree

      Or use dijon on a burger.

  • Joe Beese
    • Vincent Ricola

      Yeeeeesssssssssss.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Plodding, boring paperwork FTW!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I was skeptical that Comey would take the gloves off. I’ll be so happy to be wrong.

  • theCryptofishist

    I just want to say, “Beaker Liebullz.” For some reason he was the Muppet I identified with. My husband was a Swedish Chef. I’m sure someone has written a book on what that means.

  • Ralph Gauer
    • not_vh

      small man. figuratively & literally. stress on figuratively. small petty hateful man.

    • OrG

      Even if the perp is AG?

  • Joe Beese
    • Christopher Story

      We’re about to find out

    • Lori

      Allowed? Yes. Able? Sadly, probably not. Thanks GOP!

      • snark-lurker

        the House of (R)eprehensibles decides

        • Lori

          The House brings the charge. The Senate convicts or doesn’t. The House vote is simple majority, so we might be able to get that after the midterms. The Senate vote requires a 2/3 vote. It’s highly unlikely we can get that, even after the midterms. Although I suppose if 2018 is a big enough blow out there might be enough terrified GOPers to swing it. Until then there’s no chance.

          • snark-lurker

            : ( bummer

    • Doug Langley

      You’ll be the first to know.

  • Joe Beese
    • OrG

      Welcome to the party ax.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      He was on CNN earlier today.

    • wait! what?

      If only there were some kind of song to respond to David with:

      https://youtu.be/zYMD_W_r3Fg

    • Doug Langley

      Incredible how 6 months we went from “he stole the election with innuendo” to “he’s very credible”.

      • violet moon

        I know, wtf?

    • Meccalopolis

      Resistant? Tool

      • Incoming Ham

        He is covered in some sort of reality-proof Scotch-Guard.

  • Thiazin Red

    If only there had been a sane competent candidate running against him who warned us all about this shit.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A sane, competent candidate who HADN’T murdered Vincent Foster.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Or sent and received emails. Imagine the horror!!!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Man, I want to believe. This account may be total bullshit, but I want to believe. [*cue X-Files theme music*]
    https://twitter.com/RogueSNRadvisor/status/864615111863836677

    • Lori

      That big orange jackass better not break anything. All that stuff belongs to us.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        He already puts his damned Coke glass on the Resolute Desk without a coaster. There are pictures. With a napkin just sitting there. Which could also have been used as a coaster. Raised in (an expensive) barn.

        • Lori

          I saw that. Someone needed to slap him upside the head for that. With votes of course.

          • TootsStansbury

            Votes, 2 x 4s, potato potahto.

      • BosGrl

        Ew, he’s touched stuff. We might have to start fresh.

        • Lori

          A major reupholstering project is going to be in order for sure.

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            Yay! Jobs!

        • TootsStansbury

          Mr. S. and I discuss this frequently. They’re going to need to burn the place to cleanse it, I’m afraid.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            We’ll need to salt the earth just to be sure. At this point, I’d consider it a small price to pay in order to be rid of this plague.

          • Claire

            Or at least bring in sage by the truckload. And maybe also a priest with a couple of gallons of holy water.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The pre-dawn rage-tweeting is going to be epic.

    • Sophia

      Make it be true please

    • Claire

      I choose to believe this. If that puts me in the same category as people who take Alex Jones’ nuttery as literal truth, so be it. At least I know I’m living in a fantasy world.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I surely hope he doesn’t hit his wee dick on a particularly sharp corner of chair as he rages off!

      (Did that sound sincere? I have the best sincerity, people are saying.)

    • ltmcdies

      sooooo, ‘Murica…..you’re going to let this lot out of the country for 8 days…

      and that orange one is going to be speaking out loud about “Mooslumism” is he…

      what could go wrong?

      • therblig

        he could come back?

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    http://www.inquisitr.com/opinion/4215224/on-south-africas-white-genocide-myth-and-how-right-wing-afrikaners-are-dividing-the-nation/ a fasciting article on South Africa and the myth of white genocide. Whats super scary is how far along we are on the genocide stages and how many right wingers are eager for it.

    • OrG

      They will believe ANY stupid shit that fits their narrative. Example: alex jones.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        The alt right douchebags like to parrot the South Africa White Genocide as a proof of their repulsive beliefs. Its frighting to me how much of this country is ready to believe that minorities are scheming to destroy the US.

        • TootsStansbury

          Especially since the destroyers are rich, white sociopaths.

          • Claire

            But the rich white sociopaths can’t be held to account because the alt-right douchebags aspire to join their ranks.

            Thus we get the sad fucking spectacle of a 50-year-old white rural man on disability who still wants to protect what his status would be if he were to strike it rich and join the Rich White Sociopaths club.

  • jaspersdad

    I hope they get Rosie O’Donnell to play him in the impeachment movie.

    • Beowoof14

      It would be awesome if she played Comey so she could be the one to bring 45 down.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Just listening to NPR on the way home; an intelligence expert agreed that 45 was a security risk. They just said it flat out.

    He very calmly stated that, unlike Obama and George W, Trump is the kind of president who “doesn’t receive regular, detailed security briefings anyway” and thus the security of the country can be left entirely to his appointees at the State Department.

    In other words: they will work around him with a minimum of fuss.

    Sad.

    • OrG

      Better than the alternative?

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Yes: the POTUS is a dangerous lunatic who will get us all killed; his appointees are misguided loyalists, but at least they can tie their own shoes.

        Progress!

      • Claire

        Yes, and no? I mean, in Trump’s case definitely yes. On the other hand, I don’t know that it’s a good thing in the long term to establish a precedent of the intelligence committee working around the POTUS and cutting him/her out of the information loop.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Exactly!

          What happens when we need some kind of real decision to be made, if some serious shit goes down?

          This is not how the Presidency is supposed to work.

          I don’t think it’s any kind of a good idea to let ad-hoc workaround solutions to the Donald J. Crapsack Constant Constitutional Crisis become the new normal.

          Nothing good can come of subverting and overriding our basic systems, even with the best high-minded intentions behind it.

          (Which describes exactly none of Trump’s cabinet.)

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            and remember this man and his staff said hillary clinton wasn’t fit to make the tough calls.

            I wouldn’t want trump calling for pizza.

          • HorseChestnut

            He’d get it with clams. Extra clams. Canned. Also ketchup instead of red sauce.

    • therblig

      perhaps if they gave him a “special presidential briefing portfolio”…

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b9e84a454380b7a7715537dcc758efffcc460c8847dd46c3a49f549773edb80d.jpg

  • BosGrl
    • Really? Fox?

      • BosGrl

        If he’s started to lose Fox…

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        denial is a powerful thing.

        • snark-lurker

          sometimes denial is the only thing

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      In his spare time, Senator Risch enjoys romantic dinners, long walks on the beach, and watching dumpster fires burn themselves out.

    • Beowoof14

      And I thought Larry Craig was a dipshit.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Even Hitler didn’t exterminate European Jewry overnight.”

    • Jared James

      Is he basing this assessment on entertainment value? Because it’s moved swiftly from tragedy to farce. By the time it makes it to history, we’ll have gone through all of Shakespeare’s dramatic arctypes in just a few months.

      • theCryptofishist

        Karl Marx’s also, too.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I saw some GOP Congresscritter doing the, “He’s just a business man suffering from a rather steep learning curve” tap dance. I had to mute the TV so that I wouldn’t be tempted to shoot it.

      • jesterpunk

        Its not mcdonalds its the motherfucking president of the US, the head guy in charge of just about everything and also the guy who can nuke anyone anytime he wants and no one can say no to him.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          But I really would love to hear Donnie ask if I “want fries with that.”

          • jesterpunk

            He would screw that up too and give you the secret recipe to the special sauce.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I’d mostly be afraid that half the fries would disappear before they made it to my tray.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’m tempted to shout at it from here, all these hours later.

  • Chadwells

    I have to think that Comey waited until the perfect moment to reveal this memo. Hit him when and where it hurts the most.

    He called Fuckface’s bluff and it’s fucking awesome! Daring that baby handed yam to release tapes that either don’t exist, don’t prove a fucking thing or prove that Comey is telling the truth all along in this memo.

  • Chadwells

    I would play Fuckface in poker anytime, anywhere….Comey, no thanks.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “i’ve got the best hand, no one has a better hand than me. Believe me.”

      • Chadwells

        Right?! You could rob that fool blind!!!

      • snark-lurker

        ha haha ha

      • not_vh

        double entendre or as the french prolly say doublay ontondray

      • BosGrl

        And you’re gonna need it.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’d probably admit everything in my hand to Comey, for fear that he’d crush me like an ant. Dude is intimidating.

      • Chadwells

        You can dislike him all you want…but you have got to respect him as an adversary!

      • Incoming Ham

        Dude is 6’8. Probably another reason Trump didn’t like him.

    • not_vh

      i wouldn’t last the deal, forget picking up the cards collating them and actual playing.

  • Chadwells
    • BosGrl

      Porn blasts on huge screen during rush hour?

    • mackafritz

      Is it ok that the worst thing I see there is the asshole who shot the wolf?

      • Chadwells

        I’m with you on that one. Disgusting.

  • Chadwells

    Pile it high…watch it fly.

    “Sudanese President Accused of Genocide Invited to Trump Meeting”

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/05/16/sudanese_president_accused_of_genocide_invited_to_trump_meeting.html

    • not_vh

      share tips, i guess.

      • Chadwells

        For real!

    • jesterpunk

      Why am I not surprised, he already invited the president of the Philippines.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, that duerte thing is a cluster fuck.

      • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

        If only Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Franco and Stalin were still around. That bunch would Make America Great Again, or else.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Sessions invited Duterte to visit, so they could compare notes on how to fight the drug war. Dutertecare offers a simple way to reduce the number of deaths from opioid overdoses: Kill people who are addicted to opioids. That way they don’t die from drugs, but from vigilante assassin brigades.

        “And I ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie!” -Jefferson No-Regard

    • Doug Langley

      The man’s a genius. This will take everyone’s minds off the classified info slip. Which took everyone’s minds off the Comey firing. Which took everyone’s minds off . . .

      • TootsStansbury

        Nothing will take my mind off the fact that Tr*mp is a goddamn treasonous crook, his Trump Organization is the fucking mafia, the GOP are a den of colluding murderous thieves…oh no, I’m distracted now.

        • Doug Langley

          His chief weapon is being a treasonous crook, a treasonous crook and fucking mafia, two weapons, a treasonous crook, a fucking mafia and den of murderous thieves, THREE weapons . . .

    • Serai 1

      See? Just what I was saying. He only wants to meet with dictators, totalitarians, and despots. Leaders of democracies make him sad.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Especially if they are:

        – intelligent, open-minded, strong-willed, and (most importantly) female (Merkel) or

        – compassionate, bilingual, smart, and much better looking (Trudeau)

        I… think those are the only two leaders of democracies he invited? The rest are out-and-out maniacs like Duterte and Erdogan, leaders of “allies” with debatable claims to democracy (Netanyahu, Jinping) and of course the Russians.

        Then again, he did invite Shinzo Abe of Japan, but didn’t spend too much time with him because apparently Abe is better at golf.

    • Bitter Scribe

      The ICC has a warrant for the guy’s arrest, so maybe this is some sort of diabolically clever ploy by Trump to enforce oh hahahahaha I can’t finish that sentence.

    • Three Finger Salute

      How soon before he invites Hologram Hitler and Cardboard Idi Amin?

      • HorseChestnut

        Don’t forget bobblehead Pol Pot. And Mugabe​ can probably videoconference…

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just catching up on stuff and things.

    https://youtu.be/MJC2CMvNgaA

    • Serai 1

      Why the fuck didn’t that reporter say ” NO, he HASN’T made his position clear”? Why the fuck are these people so timid with Spicer? It’s clear he’s floundering – GO FOR THE KILL DAMMIT.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Notes to self if ever elected POTUS:
    1. Smile!
    2. Wear clean underwear
    3. Don’t piss on FBI, CIA, armed forces, and entire intelligence community

    • not_vh

      you missed the most important tip. don’t be a woman, even if you are possibly the most well prepared person on the planet.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That’s not one of my drawbacks, personally, but yeah.

    • TootsStansbury

      But you can allegedly watch people piss on the FBI, CIA, etc.

    • Suttree

      4. Read at higher than a 4th grade level.

  • NellCote71

    I paid my $$$. Where is Donna Rose? And the booze. I will wait in the curb so you won’t miss my house.

  • Me not sure

    For those kind folks who have been keeping score, Wife not sure got the results back from her sixth three month round of scans today, and the score is Wife 6, cancer 0. The cancer in her pelvic bones has not grown or spread since we started treatments. As always keep the good vibes coming and fuck cancer.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      good vibes going out to you and yes, fuck cancer.

    • BosGrl

      That is some great news! FUCK CANCER!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I have been wondering about this. Thank you for the update, and Molotov!

      • Me not sure

        It always is a stress until we hear. I could use a good cocktail about now.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Congrats to her!!!! I go for another screening next month. Feeling good about it too.

      • Me not sure

        Fight on!

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          I’ve got 5 grandkids and plan to dance at all their weddings.

          • Me not sure

            We married off our youngest kid last month. Now on to the Grandkids. Here’s the couple.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e8e25af1f1ebc32faa0a2a3821f6c465d213b15bf1d2018e7391a58c2f4e2449.jpg

          • TootsStansbury

            Grandkids are the icing on the cake for being the parents all those years.

          • Me not sure

            True that. I want these two to get started soon. They’ll be tall and good lookin’.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            Nice. Weddings always make me wubbie.

          • Me not sure

            They are a fine young couple. She and my son have cleared some hurdles in their lives and are now moving into a new phase in their lives.

          • NellCote71

            That photo is so hot! Grandchildren soon, I predict!

          • Me not sure

            She pretty much nailed him to the wall.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Congratulations, and continued good vibes to you both!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Great news! Thanks for keeping us posted.

    • Shanzgood

      Fuck cancer! So glad she’s kicking its ass!

      • Me not sure

        She kicks mine from time to time.

    • Doug Langley
    • h4rr4r

      Fuck you cancer!

    • TundraGrifter

      All the best to both of you! Your post puts a lot of things into proper perspective.

    • Claire

      Good for her! Fuck cancer and good on her for stomping on its head.

      • Me not sure

        In our neck of the woods Obamacare was seen as akin to VooDoo. Having been in and out of cancer treatment facilities the last 15 months I can tell you that there are people who could have otherwise been covered who have been hit hard financially because they didn’t sign up early enough out of political spite. Most who could afford it,now have, but paid dearly until it went into effect. Now they all fear losing it. It’s that crazy “human nature” thing

        • Three Finger Salute

          Randolph and Mortimer think their work is done destroying Obamacare, so they’ve moved on to trying to plant seeds of doubt about the healthcare system in Canada.

          https://www.commondreams.org/views/2017/04/02/fighting-fake-news-about-canadian-health-care

          They’ve spent decades spreading lies about Canada’s healthcare system (some of which Trump picked up), so that Americans wouldn’t support single-payer. The bonus for them is that the burgeoning alt-right in Canada is picking up the ball of Kochsucker propaganda and trying to Americanize the healthcare system in their own country.

          As one of the commenters points out, even Harper wasn’t so stupid as to mess with Canadian healthcare. But the current GOP-lite conservative leadership contest does have a few cranks who want to “reform” it by basically making it a two-tier, means-tested system like our mess is. Maxim Bernier the “libertarian” kook being the most prominent (and the front-runner for party leader so far).

          Fortunately, my money’s on Canadians being smarter than to fall for their BS. But then again, they have an education system that teaches critical thinking and good citizenship, unlike ours that instills authoritarianism and rote memorization of bullet-points devoid of any context. And extols the virtues of winner-take-all competitiveness. “Winners and losers” as Dump says, or “makers vs takers” in Ayn Rand Ryan’s dog-eat-dog world. They are why we can’t have nice things.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I recently watched Trading Places and that movies could not be made today. It was good to see a young Al Franken too. He’s aged well.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Trading Places. Trading Spaces was an early-2000s home-makeover show on TLC, back when there was still some “Learning” left in that acronym. The good old days, pre-Honey Boo Boo and the beauty pageant, dance recital, 75 Inbred Duggars and Counting kidsploitation crap.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I fixed it as soon as I noticed.

    • Meccalopolis

      Fuck cancer. Tina is 7 years cancer free

      • Me not sure

        WOOT!

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Awesomeness! Good news is always welcome.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s tremendous news! Congratulations! And fuck cancer.

    • Jenny

      Woohoo good news! Fuck cancer!

  • Reximus
    • Claire

      I take obscure comfort in seeing conservatives like Rick Wilson going all in on Trump. It’s probably all for show, but I like it anyway. Jennifer Rubin, too – she might have been a ridiculous Republican shill for umpteen years, but she is going ALL the fuck out for Trump’s public execution, and she’s so bitter and disillusioned about the GOP in general.

      2015 me would shoot me for saying anything positive about Jennifer Rubin, but it’s hard to deny that her columns are smelling an awful lot like brimstone of late.

      • Reximus

        But they are unapologetic conservatives, who know trump isn’t, and sucks as a president to boot

        • Claire

          True, but I think they point to an important difference between “unapologetic conservative” and “unapologetic GOP apologists.” Maybe they can get the message across that we can’t and the congressional GOP won’t.

      • Meccalopolis

        I want conservative opposition. But principled

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I want an end to hunger. And world peace. /s

  • jesterpunk
    • La forza del resistino

      fake signage said Team Trump.

    • La forza del resistino

      Is it a bribe when you’re just accepting being overcharged?
      ‘the only places charging that much for it are ones like the BLT Prime in Washington, D.C.’s Trump International Hotel. There the avocado toast runs for $18, because it also has breakfast radishes, baby spinach, a poached egg, and buffalo mozzarella. Most importantly, you can wash it down at the hotel’s bar with spoonfuls of wine that start at the low, low price of $15.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Help….hubby is drinking and turned into Chatty Cathy.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      With luck, he’ll pass out eventually.

      • Mary Sandoras

        My listening skills are being abused.

        • La forza del resistino

          Introduce him to Mr. Micky Finn.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            If that doesn’t work, Mr. Louis Villeslugger is waiting in the wings.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish
  • Stephanie Rakowski

    So anyone have more details on that GOP candidate setting up a donation account for the Tortilla Curtain? Are they taking Wonkette advice now?

  • Ilgattomorte

    “Write the best, funniest, thank Crom for Wonkette articles that keep you from rage drinking. Mostly.”

    Too Late! Cheers! (It’s okay, I think Jameson’s is legally considered to be an appetizer).

  • Serai 1
  • Jennifer R

    OK I have diffused the bug that was keeping me from sleeping all night, and it’s only 5 in the afternoon. It’s a new day does that mean I have a new queue for drawing, or is it the same day because I didn’t sleep? That is the question plaguing me now.

    • Suttree

      I have terrible sleeping problems too. I just look at the calendar and call it that day. Keeps me from over thinking it. i get weird after being awake or asleep for too long. It’s confusing.

      • Jennifer R

        I get the same way. Doesn’t help that an idea gets in my head and I can’t let it go.

  • I have doxxed Chuck. My investigation has revealed the following dirt:

    1) He wears a great deal of makeup to cover his rotting flesh. 80% of this new $$ he’s found will go to liquid eyeliner.

    2) Twitter will continue to kick his ass to the curb until he shaves that Islamic beard and ceases his Richard Trenton Chase impression when a girl countermans him.

    3) Red on a head like a dick on a dog? More like red on roadkill. The curtains match the drapes match the pus-streaked ooze of Chuckle’s sores.

    4) Girls terrify him. He shits his khakis every fucking time the bus driver calls a street name.

    5) Chuck likes being doxxed less than doxxing. Cuz ginger rage-furby bee-yotch gotta cry.

  • Three Finger Salute

    OK, since no one has yet posted any sexy political boyfriend pictures on this thread, I’ll be happy to oblige.

    College yearbook edition, for all the recent (and not so recent) grads out there.

    http://piximus.net/media/4524/obama-in-college-5.jpg

    http://thumbnails.cbc.ca/maven_legacy/thumbnails/806/795/archives-justintrudeau-1990-2_852x480_2379935342.jpg

    http://static1.purepeople.com/articles/9/21/17/69/@/2852066-emmanuel-macron-adolescent-extrait-d-e-950×0-1.png

    • La forza del resistino

      give it up for OHJB inventing the boy band look before its time.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Young Macron looks like a pleasant and non-asshole version of Kirk Cameron. Laicite > RWNJ Evangelicalism every time.

        • BosGrl

          Is Macron the 3rd one? It makes me uneasy to look at him young – I keep picturing him saying, “Why Mrs. Robinson”.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Yeah, that’s him. I went in order per the article. “Sexy Bamz” (who I figured out is Obama), “Your Other Boyfriend Sexy Trudeau of the Canada Trudeaus” (are there any others?) and “Your (Kinda) Boyfriend Monsieur Macron until he goes all neolib on us”. But yeah, I know, the whole “Hot for Teacher” thing is disconcerting. It’d be one thing if he was a college student with a young professor (or even slightly older). But 15? Not sure what that lady was thinking right there. Besides what to do if someone calls The Police…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM

            At least he’s trying not to “go all neolib”, he’s encouraging people from all walks of life — including blue-collar workers and even the unemployed — to run for Parliament in his newly formed party, and has required that they comprise a patchwork of ethnic backgrounds and that at least half be women (because it’s 2017, natch). He also picked a member of the socialists as his PM (which, I guess in France is sort of like the vice president). That’s an encouraging sign.

            And, he’s still pretty cute even with less hair.

          • BosGrl

            Yeah, I mean, all signs are good so far. Fingers crossed. If we can’t have normalcy, I wish it for other countries, anyway.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Anderson Cooper 360 is on, and they are talking memos. I wonder when they are going to get to the Sally Yates interview. Popcorn!

    • BosGrl

      I had to change to Chris Hayes because they had that Brady Bunch thing going…

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I’m watching Colbert from last night.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow, teh trolls on the previous thread have stamina…anybody wanna take over, my troll smacking hand is tired.

    • yyyaz

      The topic was bound to attract blowflies. I’ll wait for them over here TYVM.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, they finally posted a link to the video they kept insisting was seth rich “glibly” serving the DNC, and it’s not even Rich.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m not feeling terribly musical tonight. Give me another glass of wine and I might go play. You did flag them, right? And the block function is a personal friend of mine.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        nope, been playing with them. I’m sure other folks have.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Flagged and then came here. Lots of sock puppets.

    • HazooToo

      Still? Ugh. They’re no talent bores.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, i told them i was leaving, alongside a link to youtube featuring journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Points for style!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ; )

            I have occasional flashes of brilliance.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That’s brilliant! *takes notes*

  • yyyaz

    Silver Lining Dept.: 1) The WATBIC is being gloriously exposed to the world as the white-trash charlatan many of us have come to know and despise for decades. 2) We are now the bad example that sane people in other countries can point to in order to keep their own RWNJs on short leashes.

  • Ezio

    On the subject of Nazis, Richard Spencer is actually so stupid that this happened https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eca3a1d1662dd606ce584e79fac27050a1514a79ef47726e0f6e75192286d242.jpg

    • Three Finger Salute

      I thought he’d made a career out of doing just that.

    • TootsStansbury

      OK. I hope he dies alone and his dog eats his face before his body is discovered. Is that mean enough? I don’t like to be mean.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That’s mean to his dog. Who deserves nourishing meals.

      • Ezio

        He tastes like mayo though.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Not mean enough, but already pushing the boundaries of The Rules, so best to stop there.

    • h4rr4r

      There is no white European Culture as a singular thing. This is purely a product of american whites who don’t know where they are really from but want to still be racists.

      • Ezio

        Yup

    • yyyaz

      And Mitochondrial Eve™ is just another piece of bullshit invented by science and its “theories”. Praise jeebus.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    On MSNBC they are all astounded at how many people across the government want to leak.

    • La forza del resistino

      racehorse diuretics in the water coolers? Srsly, a h/t to those that put careers on the line for having a conscience and doing right by us or the US if you will.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Three Finger Salute

      Staples is having a sale on paper shredders. Far better place to “file” Ivanka’s manuscript.

    • Maclare

      That’s a Buns and Noodle.

      Well, HQ said do a Ivanka end cap, so…

  • Ezio
  • Ezio
    • yyyaz

      Requires self-awareness + ability to connect Dot A to Dot B.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        And an understanding of consequences.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Is this the open thread?

    • Chadwells

      yep

      • MynameisBlarney

        Good.
        Anyone heard from Anna?
        She’s got me worried.
        She was talkin all suicidal and shit and hasn’t replied to my emails yet.

        • Chadwells

          I haven’t seen her post since the food stamps post….if I’m thinking of the same Anna.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That’s the Anna I’m worried about, yes.

          • Chadwells

            Sounds like she’s in a real tough spot. Let me know if I can help. I hope she’s ok.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I don’t know what to do to help. If I was there with her I could talk her down.
            I’m good at that. I’ve talked a couple of friends down from suicide before, but I was there in person or on the phone.
            This shit is fucking killing me.

          • Chadwells

            I feel you. You saw what happened to me on Sunday. I can donate monies….sadly, that’s all I have to offer.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            What happened on Sunday?

          • Chadwells

            My brother in law, 35, appears to have committed suicide via OD. And last month…his older brother, 45, did the same thing. So on mothers day, this poor woman lost her 2 sons and only 2 children. I spent Sunday with his 6 year old daughter…who still does not know…just trying to keep her occupied.

            It get’s further complicated with a CPS issue that was ongoing. My wife’s youngest sister, whom was his wife, is now on watch because she suffered terrible postpartum depression and started cutting.

            It is the most surreal event in my life to date. Just trying to wade through it all.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Man…I’d give you a damn hug right now if I could.

          • Chadwells

            I’d appreciate it and would take you up on the offer too.

            I have a weird pragmatic view on these things….so I don’t get too overwhelmed. I’m beginning to think something is fucked up with my empathy meter. I am the guy who keeps things moving while others mourn and feel sad, I reckon. We all have a role to fill.

            Anyway, I most worried about my wife, my niece and the rest of the family.

          • MynameisBlarney

            You’re a good man, Chadwells, don’t let nobody tell you different.

          • TootsStansbury

            Good lord, how awful. I am so sorry.

          • Chadwells

            Thank you. It is pretty crazy and unexpected…but these things often are.

          • yyyaz

            Sincerest condolences. I know it isn’t much, but you have a group hug coming from here.

          • Chadwells

            Means the world and thank you very much!

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            God, that is just too, too sad. So sorry for you and your family.

          • Chadwells

            very appreciated, thank you.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            OMFG, that is horrific. You have my most sincere sympathy. I cannot imagine that kind of trauma.

          • Chadwells

            Thank you. Life is pretty unexpected.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You are a very good person to keep trying to help her. But there’s simply only so much you can do. The last thread I saw her at, I and others had some suggestions for RL help. She did not seem interested. Don’t beat yourself up for not having magical powers. Keep emailing, and accept that you have done what you can.

            Sorry to sound so pompous. I worry about her, and wish her the best. But there’s only so much we can do.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That’s not pompous, just real.

            I do wish I could just teleport there and make everything better for her.

            But…like you said. No superpowers.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          When was this? I noticed on an old thread she had become guest again. But I didn’t see the suicidal stuff.

          • h4rr4r

            She did not use those words, but did mention being very low and afraid. Sick of suffering, that kind of thing.

            I think someone needs to go see her in meatspace.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, maybe I’m overreacting.
            I hope so.
            The alternative is unbearable.

          • h4rr4r

            I took it as upbeat when she said she did not need money for food right now, but would let us know.

            People who are not planning on being around long, don’t bother thinking about stuff like that. Being pissed off about not getting your food stamps to me means you are thinking about the future.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah…
            I guess I did overreact.
            I just saw her saying she was ready for it to end and I thought the worst.
            I really hope you’re right and I’m wrong.

          • h4rr4r

            You and me both.

            I would hate to get this wrong.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, I’m a fuckin softy as it is already.
            I’m in tears right now about it.
            I just don’t want to think about the worst case scenario happening.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I really wish she had more of a RL support network.

          • MynameisBlarney

            God, me too.
            I hate that she’s all alone.

          • h4rr4r

            I wish we could get someone to see her.

            Any idea where she is?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Colorado somewhere.

          • h4rr4r

            Ok, we need a wonkette team trip.

            /plus they have legal smot poking.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Aye.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Colorado. Pueblo to be specific.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It was deleted.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            She had a post moderated earlier today, then account went poof.

          • yyyaz

            Yikes.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            I didn’t see it, but Disqus has been hella glitchy lately.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Really? Oh dear.

    • Ezio

      Si

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yes.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Oui, eet eez that thing!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Chadwells

      Fox News already put a stop to that. They said she has a very long contract ahead of her and they aren’t cutting her loose.

      • La forza del resistino

        Dang. I was looking forward to the see thru presser podium

        • Chadwells

          So was I!

      • Incoming Ham

        Plus Daily Fail. Never a reliable source. Once and a while they get something. A broken clock is right twice a day.

      • BosGrl

        Either that or maybe she begged them to help her get out of it?

        • Chadwells

          That actually makes a lot of sense!!

  • La forza del resistino

    B&N has figured out where to group Ivanka’s book.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_3pn_9UIAElGiN.jpg

  • HazooToo

    I think I’m gonna step back from things for a little bit. I’ll keep my donation going and all that and I will come back, and probably will end up saying “Hi” to bitches in the Open Thread, but jesus christ… Our best “good news” lately has been about people protecting or passing the bare minimum. And it’s completely overwhelmed by all of the simultaneous fuckery that’s going on. I am feeling very bleak or very angry all of the time. So good luck you guys, and I’ll drop in soon to check on everybody, and please remember that if you need to take a break and have some fun, you should do that before you wind up miserable. Love you guys, and thanks for always being here.

    <3 Hazoo.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Sometimes, stepping back from the shitshow of politics is just what the doctor ordered. Take care of yourself.

    • Sophia

      Take a rest and take care of yourself. I know it can get to you. I try to stay away from the news at least one day or sometimes the whole weekend. Y’all come back now when you’re ready. Love your comments.

    • BosGrl

      We’ll miss you!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Breaks are good and necessary things. Go and be good to yourself.

    • What Pierre said

      I, for one, will very much miss the treasure trove of weird internet art you post (no really, I will), take care of yourself.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Three Finger Salute
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      we don’t NEED to help him sabotage his presidency, he and his crew of flunkies are doing just fine.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        As somebody succinctly put it on the Twits this morning, all of the White House crises have been self-inflicted to-date.

    • BosGrl

      They’re going to squeeze out every last damned dollar from the dupes.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Okay, I just received this invite from my Very Large Corporate Employer. From HR, no less. See if you can spot the tasteless, boneheaded missteps:

    Hello [Large Corporation] Colleagues,
    We are excited to bring to you a double hitter for the month of May!! 😊. On May 24th, 2017 please join us for the Wellness Session, BULLYING! We hope that you will find this topic of interest, and we look forward to your participation.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Is an example of a “double hitter” when two colleagues take you into the parking lot for extra attention, with fists? You might be a victim of bullying if…

      Yeah, not a good choice of words.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Bingo. Not to mention, awfully happy about the topic. “BULLYING!” And the emoji seems a bit out of place. Does not scream, “Serious problem we’re taking seriously.”

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          No kidding. Really tone deaf.

    • h4rr4r

      I always preferred one hitters.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Fewer bruises to explain.

    • SeeTrain65

      “We’ll teach you how to bully like a pro!”

      Special Guest Speaker: Bill O’Reilly!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        It does rather read like a “how to” course, doesn’t it?

        • SeeTrain65

          “Double Hitter” was a poor turn of a phrase, too.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I would go to HR and, respectfully, point out how totally clueless and asinine that message is, and, politely, ask them to please send a revised message, along with an apology for their tactlessness, out to all.

      No, really. I would.

      For some reason, I always get passed over for promotion.

  • Ezio

    GUYS! GUYS! GEORGE TAKEI JUST LIKED ONE OF MY TWEETS THIS IS NOT A DRILL! (Of course you now know my real name, but anyway)

    https://mobile.twitter.com/andre_tarulli/status/864642907445374977

    LOOK! HE LIKED MY BAD PUN!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Ok, Anna replied to my email a couple of hours ago apparently. It was buried under a bunch of fucking spam.
    She said she was napping.
    I just replied. Will keep you all posted.

    • Ezio

      Good to hear.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, for real.
        I think I can stop shaking now.
        Aaaaaany minute now…

        • h4rr4r

          Pointless advice you can ignore from a hypochondriac.

          Get yourself a basic metabolic panel. I had terrible anxiety and it turned out to be really low potassium.

    • SeeTrain65

      Missed the comments, but what I read from everyone else scared the hell out of me. Send her our love.

    • snark-lurker

      PTSD w/o med’s is, for me, unbearable and she is having healthcare cost issues : (

      • h4rr4r

        She lives in a state where she could try the jazz cabbage. I hear good things, but I am sure like everything it works better for some than others.

        I can’t even imagine that kind of a problem.

        • snark-lurker

          1st glance read “‘jizm’ cabbage” and purdy sure that wood make her smile

          • h4rr4r

            HAHA YOU SAID WOOD!

        • HorseChestnut

          I can’t sleep without it right now, but it’s not for everyone with anxiety or trauma disorders, and it ain’t cheap.

          • h4rr4r

            Here is is even more expensive, on account of being illegal. Colorado prices look pretty reasonable.

        • Jennifer R

          Colorado is kinda pricy for cannabis still.

          • h4rr4r

            The prices online look not too bad to me.

    • h4rr4r

      Yay!

    • MynameisBlarney

      She’s ok folks, I think.
      She is still a bit down in the dumps, but the fact that she’s talking is good.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Glad to hear it.

      • MynameisBlarney

        She said she’s maybe willing to accept some financial help from us, and that she met some of her neighbors and they were all cool.
        Even the old fart that was gossiping about her.
        I think she might just be ok, ladies and gents.

  • Dazza

    OK, OK Rebecca. Sheesh. I sent a few Ameros. Sorry it couldn’t be more, but my home insurance and my ancient car just cost $3,000 between them.

  • h4rr4r

    Wife got me started on American Gods, and I think I might have found religion.

    These gods make sense. They don’t pretend to be nice, or all knowing. Quite refreshing.

    • zerosumgame0005

      ep 3 was fucking amazing!

      • h4rr4r

        Don’t spoil it, I am one behind.

        I might catch up tomorrow.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    What does it mean when a dog is worried about your health?

    • Meccalopolis

      He’s a good dog. We have such symbiituc relationships. Mine will just rest his head on my knee and sigh like, I feel you bro

    • snark-lurker

      not a good sign i think, mebbee, i donut know for sure

    • Master Contrail Program

      Like in a Son of Sam way? All kidding aside, perhaps some rest and relaxation is in order if possible.

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

      They have been utilized to sniff out diseases, like cancer.

      • snark-lurker

        well that’s reassuring

        • h4rr4r

          This is why I now can’t own a dog.
          Every time he sniffed me I would be sure that I was about to die of super cancer.

          • snark-lurker

            dogs are stupid dogs

        • Pinkham’s Law

          It is. They detect it sooner than the doctors. That means you’re more likely to survive.

          • snark-lurker

            yeah but still…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Depends on the dog. Depends on your health.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I broke my leg once and after the cast came off my ankle was still problematic (couldn’t rehab some tendon damage because of the cast). While I was still in pain and with swelling, I went to San Diego to visit a friend of mine. The minute I walked in the door her dog began following me around the house. Not too weird, nice dog and I was something new in the house. But the minute I sat down on the couch, the dog began licking my bad ankle. Like it was a serious project. She was not a big licker either, in general. Everyone was amazed. “Shasta knows something is wrong with you!” The dog fussed over me the whole time I was there. I visited again about a year later and Shasta pretty much ignored me after an excited welcome. Go figure.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      What exactly is he doing? He could mostly be trying to get you to sit down and pet him.

  • snark-lurker

    Guys did you know “trumpery” is a real word! i did not the deffinition is DJTrump exactly!

  • Ezio

    Well at least Tucker Carlson is covering the really important stories tonight, right? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/462f1ee1726f56d8c5ccc0b7d844405d609e3524cf1ea11d69a40ebdfc164f3e.jpg

    • BosGrl

      How much do you want to bet there will be a tweet from Cheeto tomorrow about the Clintons?

      • Ezio

        “While FAKE NEWS focuses on Russia, it ignores the REAL story behind the Clintons! Why are we not asking questions about THIS? Sad!”

      • Master Contrail Program

        Using the Clinton connection to turn Parliament against him. Unfair! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/26dea1ba16a41994895b4283b18ea0609b54083b75dafafa6c52b182a044f49c.jpg

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’ve often said in conversation that when weed gets legalized in Canada, Trudeau should change the name of Parliament Hill to Parliament-Funkadelic Hill. One Nation Under a Groove… eh.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        It’s either that or Obama. I’d put money on it.

    • ltmcdies

      oh fuck off…and why is he wearing regular ties now?

      • cause the reg billo viewers thought he looked too gay with bowties.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • SeeTrain65

      A drain snake isn’t enough to clear that much shit away.

      • Rasilom

        Just nuke that toilet from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

    • Maclare

      Needs more Kelly Anne.

  • CripesAmighty

    Gonna be fun watching these sad sacks rip each other to shreds over the $3.64 left after Chucky blew the rest on hookers, meth and Trump-branded hotel rooms.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OK..Anna is on board with accepting help from us bastages.
    Now we just gotta figure out how to do it.

    • Ezio

      What’s happened?

      • MynameisBlarney

        She’s broke, sad and needing our help.

      • snark-lurker

        Unmedicated PTSD cuz she’z a poor

        • Ezio

          Damn…

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah.
            We HAVE to pitch in.

          • h4rr4r

            Well just to piss of republicans. Ok also cause we are just awesome like that.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I mean, really. Is this not what we’re all about?
            If we don’t help her, then we’re all a bunch of hypocrites.

          • h4rr4r

            I totally agree, we are here for the stigginit to republicans.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s not about sticking it to the opposition.
            It’s about helping everyone we possibly can.
            Any way we can.

          • h4rr4r

            It was just a joke. As though that might be a thing we do. Which IT IS NOT!

            Seriously though, get the paypal details. Fun fact, they let you send a message with the money.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I hear ya, it still needed to be said though.

          • Ezio

            Definitely..

    • h4rr4r

      Simple, paypal gifts.

      Free for both sides of the transaction and easy.

      • Maclare

        Yes! This has worked for several people I know.

        • h4rr4r

          I use it to pay for hobby stuff all the time from trusted sources.

    • snark-lurker

      is there not a, like, GoFundMe thingie?

    • Johnatx

      Over on DKos, we’ve used PayPal to raise Ameros for folks in need. It seems to work ok

    • Doug did a gofund me last month, he might be able to help get one set up

      • snark-lurker

        he was here earlier

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I’ve done them. All you need the bank account info for deposits. Paypal is easier, IMHO.

    • Blarney-i’m in. Let me know where and when to help! (I would offer to do the set up, but i don’t want her stuck with Canuckistanian dollars)

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      I’d suggested to her that she set up a new email with whatever name she wanted, and open a paypal account linked to that email, and we can send $$ there? Any other suggestions? I’d think she could do the same with a Kickstarter, couldn’t she? Does anyone know her personally? And could set up a Kickstarter for her?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Kickstarter requires a project.

      • MynameisBlarney

        She’s got a paypal account, but she’s worried about her given name being made public. So we have work to do yet to get it right.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          Aha. Could she set up a new email, and then a new paypal account?

  • Ezio
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Monthly contributor here. Stories of neo-Nazis fucking each other over should be labeled “Nice Time”.

  • Johnatx

    Does the Wonkebago live? I thought it had a bad breakdown? You and ShyPixel and Donna Rose really need to come to Texas one of these days. Seriously. Just not in the summer, because you will melt.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Saw it at the Portland drinky-thing last week. And I went to Texas last September. Holy fuck, it was hot.

  • notaten

    I wonder if Hillary ever thinks about all the zillion miles she traveled and hours she spent rebuilding diplomatic relationships, just to see it all flushed away by the giant orange turd. How galling would that be? For someone like her, who actually cares.

    • Not so fucking galling, I bet, as serving one’s country faithfully for years and being hung out- by the very people who you were working for no less!- on the finish line because sniff, speeches.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Yeah, I’d be tempted to take my millions (which they earned!) and go somewhere nice to relax. “Fuck y’all! I did what I could. Visit me in Fiji, if you get the chance.”

        • Serai 1

          So would I, but that’s why she’s Hillary and… I’m not. Like, REALLY not.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        Not even–because as a womanfolk, she dared to be PAID for speeches

  • Suse
    • Ezio

      Huzzah!

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      Go Bears!

    • Serai 1

      FUCK YEAH CALIFORNIA

      Not bad for a state that used to be virulently racist. IF WE CAN LEARN, ANYONE CAN.

  • Jeff Greer

    Nazis scamming Nazis?

    I do Nazi a problem…

  • Ezio
    • h4rr4r

      A guy with those ears should probably not have that haircut.

  • Sophia

    So much for that plan for Mexico

    ‘Trump needs our help’: GOP candidate for governor of South Dakota sets up non-profit to pay for border wall

    “The Argus Leader reported that so far no donations have been received.”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/trump-needs-our-help-gop-candidate-for-governor-of-south-dakota-sets-up-non-profit-to-pay-for-border-wall/

    • h4rr4r

      Checks?

      Damn I was hoping I could make a credit card donation smaller than the processing fee. Yeh Olde negative donation.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        “Donation: $ 0.01”

        • h4rr4r

          But then they might cash the check. Banks don’t charge for that.

    • Bricks with names on em or GTFO

  • ThaagNasty

    Since this is the Open Thread…I just got this on my feed

    https://twitter.com/HouseJudDems/status/864642708605894657

  • Ezio

    Wow…and Mike Huckabee calls himself a Christian minister….

    “On way to Chicago for speech. Expecting to have to run from plane dodging bullets like Hillary did in Bosnia when under sniper fire! Yikes!” -May 16th, 2017

    Links: https://mobile.twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/864584262762336258

    • Sophia

      Asshole can call himself a minister but he hasn’t been a Christian for years. It’s these fucknuts that give good actual Christians such a bad rep. GRR!

  • Suse
    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh fuck…

      • Serai 1

        What, did you think they weren’t going to make a Stormtrooper force out of the border patrol??

    • Pinkham’s Law

      It’s a good thing they only know how to obstruct, not how to govern, amirite?

    • I think this is proof that they see the writing on the wall. Speed it all up now because they do not have much longer.

      tick tock, GOP!

      • Serai 1

        Only another year and a half, IF we manage to make any dent via the election. Otherwise, we’re in for the whole four years. Don’t hold your breath, because this is not going to go away quickly.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Ok…call me crazy…but just having vegged out on Sense8 recently…and taking into account Anna’s situation…been thinking about this for a couple of days now.
    I wonder if reaching out to the Wachowski’s would get anywhere.
    Seems like this would be something they’d want to help out with.

    Maybe.
    They’re probably too busy anyway.

    • Sophia

      Sorry but who or what is Wachowski’s?

      • MynameisBlarney

        They used to be the Wachowski Bros. They created the Matrix films.
        One of the brothers is now transgendered.
        They also created Sense8.

        • ooo wonder if they’d give a paw?

          • MynameisBlarney

            An open letter maybe?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Anna would probably not want this to be public though.

          • Sophia

            Would it have to be. No names

          • MynameisBlarney

            No, not really.
            I was kinda thinking more of a moral support thing from them.
            I don’t want to ask them for money.

          • Sophia

            I of the mind that the worst they could do is say no. If you have a way to do it I’d say go for it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I don’t, but I’ll try to find one.

          • Sophia

            Get the other’s opinion as well who know her better and have known her longer than me

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          the other one is also transitioning.

        • Alexander Stallwitz

          One of the cruelest ironies is that the MRAs and Alt Righters stole the concept of redpilling from a movie written by two transgender people and has cast of mainly minorites and women and stars a mixed race man.

      • The writer/director sibling who created the Matrix. Both have since come out as Trans and have begun or completed transition

        • MynameisBlarney

          Both? I didn’t know that! Cool!

          • Last i heard….i may be recalling incorrectly though. I am super tired

          • ThaagNasty

            You are correct, one came out a couple years before the other.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ok…how would we go about contacting them?

          • Huzzah! I r not a stoopid!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Never.

          • Aww shucks. But for reals, lemme know about the helping Anna things, i am in, just point me where!

          • Me also, too, also.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Prolly gonna be a paypal thing.

          • Done! I have passwords for that saved on one of my electronical things

          • janecita

            Are you planning to do a Go Fund me for Anna? If you are, please, let me know. I worry about that girl:-(

          • MynameisBlarney

            Dunno yet actually. But something WILL be done to help her.

    • Nick Scroggs

      I don’t know, reach out for them to show up on Wonkette?

    • Maybe George Takei also, too?

    • janecita

      Has Anna been around lately?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah…but she’s gone again for now.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Apparently not.

  • Sophia

    Have we broken Wonkette now? I got the boot and got a “503 Service unavailable” when I tried to get back on, whatever the hell that is

    • I get those occasionally. I take it as a sign that i should be paying attention to work when i’m there

    • data_ninja

      503 is usually server error. 404 is missing page/link.

      420 is like, far out there man.

  • According to Dickinson, if we believe him, somebody thought grifting neo-Nazis for each other’s bail money was a FABULOUS MONEYMAKER!

    I would like to go on record that I am totally ok with a bunch of fascist fucks grifting a bunch of other fascists fucks.
    Evil always turns upon itself.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Now for some mindless violence and a good game that would have the TAs in my class saying “This is a sign of how institutionalized and systemic violence in America is built on in the framework of ” and something about ideas taken from communism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMWpOwSDHhY

    • Bitter Scribe

      Hey, when I want mindless violence, I’ll just watch the Stanley Cup playoffs.

      (I think the officials in the Preds-Ducks game have gone blind. Guys are getting clobbered left and right with high sticks and cross-checks, and no one is getting penalized.)

      • Don Cherry must be giddy

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yeah, Cherry loved him some carnage. That’s why he relentlessly disparaged Russian and European hockey players–he thought they wouldn’t hit.

      • What Pierre said

        Wait, I’m missing this? Why am I watching this fucking awful basketball game when I could be seeing some good, old fashioned hockey violence. BRB

    • Me not sure

      Be yourself, but if you can’t be yourself be Batman. If you can be Deadpool, though, be Deadpool and kill Batman. Hell, he’s nothing to you.

  • The Rachel-Lawrence Hand over tonight sounded like a good-bye/fight call….i am not sure how to think on that

    • Jukesgrrl

      I signed a petition yesterday to tell the MSNBC boss Andrew Lack to LEAVE LAWRENCE ALONE! http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/save-lawrence-o-donnell
      I think Daily Kos has one up, too.
      Seriously, who axes the third-highest rated program on the network? I don’t care if he hates Lawrence.

  • Panika MCD

    I’ve been at the Pink Dome (or, you know, in the office) since 7 am and I’m still here on the same committee. this is why I never cover House committees. they are driving me crazy.

    • Throw a bunch of dildos at them and run away?

      • Panika MCD

        a) I am at the office. throwing the dildos 5 blocks into the extension (which is underground) would require larger hardware than I have access to.

        b) you think I bring my sex toys to the Pink Dome? that would be just asking for them to get confiscated, broken or stolen. (the legislators are very frustrated.) sex toys when removed from the home are only done so for the purposes of protesting stupid gun measures.

      • Panika MCD

        but, hey, someone just gave me some tacos.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I have no idea what this means, but I think Jennifer R and other smart folks would find it interesting.

    https://pathak22.github.io/noreward-rl/

    • Jennifer R

      Programming an AI to explore for the sake of exploration instead of reaching some sort of goal, in an efficient manner that can be called upon in similar situations to even more efficiently explore. Sounds pretty cool to me.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i had an inkling you’d dig that.
        ; )

        • Jennifer R

          I have been elbows deep in my game code for 17 hours now @@ Not sure I can really understand the paper.

  • Ezio
  • Yr. Gma

    I just watched “King Charles III” on PBS. I wonder what the royals think. Kate Middleton comes across as a grasping, vindictive, hateful shrew.

    • janecita

      I always thought that she looked pretty but bitchy. I don’t like any of them.

      • Serai 1

        Films, especially documentaries, ALWAYS come with a point of view. Take them with a grain of salt, because otherwise you’re taking somebody’s word for it.

        • janecita

          I just really, really dislike parasites, I mean royalty:-) Blame it on my guerrillero grandfather, but I have a very unhealthy abhorrence to all things royal.

          • Serai 1

            *shrug* Not my country, not my culture. I’d rather have them than the drooling lunatic we’ve got running the show.

        • Yr. Gma

          Actually, it’s a screen play of a Broadway play, imagining Charles as king after his mother dies. It’s well done. They did it on PBS this week.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m no Anglophile, but I just can’t find it in myself to dislike them.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        it’s that damn british charm.

        • MynameisBlarney

          It really is.

  • janecita

    I sat at the dentist (I need a crown in a lower molar) for over three hours today. It took over an hour, and innumerable shots, for the Novocain to take. To top it all off, I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time, because every time I looked up I got to see up my dentist’s nose and he had a booger deep in there. Good times, good times:-(

    • Yr. Gma

      My sincere sympathies. Dental stuff is the worst.

    • Ωbjectifier

      My dentist wear a surg mask. I thought they all did now.

      • janecita

        He covers his mouth, but I can still see up his nose.

    • Zyxomma

      Are you a redhead? It takes longer for Novocaine to work on redheads. And me. I’m not a redhead, but I have redhead genes from my redhead mother. I didn’t get the hair (damn!) but I got the local-anesthetic-takes-longer.

      • janecita

        Light brown hair, lots of freckles though. I think that I was meant to be a redhead but my mom’s genes interfered;-)

  • Jamoche

    Fred Clark (slacktivist) has a different perspective: Trump isn’t Nixonian, he’s Erdogan. Who is, not coincidentally, visiting Trump today – something that ought to be a major story and yet it’s almost completely drowned out.

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2017/05/16/trump-erdogan-certain-kind-consent/

  • MynameisBlarney

    Alright. I’m on a fuckin’ mission now by goawd!
    Get in touch with the Wachowski’s AND George Takei somehow.
    I can do this.
    *deep breaths*

    Yeah…
    It’s on.

    • janecita

      Twitter?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Too easy!
        I was thinking smoke signals or something.
        I’m from the South, we do things the hard way.

        • Kiri the Unicorn
          • MynameisBlarney

            DAMMITALLTOHELL KIRI!
            Get outta me fookin ‘ead!

          • Kiri the Unicorn
          • MynameisBlarney

            GAAAAH!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Oh right, a cartoon unicorn reading your mind is the just the worst!

          • MynameisBlarney

            INORITE!?!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Seriously, have you convinced Anna to set up a PayPal account? I didn’t see what went down earlier- busy day at the shop.

          • MynameisBlarney

            She’s got one already.
            We’ll sort out the deets later.
            When I’m sober-ish…

            *scans the crowd*

            What?

            I can sober!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Righty-o.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *relaxes the muscles that keep his dick tucked up in his sheath*

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Still watching?

            *belly slap*

          • Jennifer R

            If you are gonna talk, say my name.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Sorry, I thought you were doing a secret voyeur thing!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh, we got a watcher now do we?

            *shrugs and grabs the mounting block and heads to the back ot the barn*

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *grunting, panting, delighted nickering*

          • MynameisBlarney

            *smacks dat ass with a riding crop*
            It’s business time.

            *falls asleep in the hay*

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *smile, cheek lick*

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Get the mounting block from the tack room and meet me behind the barn. I’ll be there as soon as I find my bottle of amyl nitrate.

          • Jennifer R

            Why did I think you didn’t drink?

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Jennifer R

            Yeah for some reason I thought you were one of them teetotalers.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh heeeeellll naw!

            I’m half German, and the other half is Irish, Scots, and allegedly Cherokee.

            All I know is, imbibing comes naturally.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah I am mostly scots irish with a bit o german, I like to call myself a walking bar fight.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Morse code…or semaphore.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I just got home a little while ago. How can I help our friend Anna?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Dunno yet for sure.
        Paypal most likely.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Imdb.com has contact info on the profiles. Sometimes. If filled in.

      • Serai 1

        Get a free month’s worth of Imdb Pro. It has professional info listed for pretty much everyone.

  • Jamoche

    O’Donnell: “48 members of the Nixon administration went to jail.”

    Oooh, really? Gosh, I’d love to see history repeat itself.

    • What Pierre said

      Has tRump appointed that many people yet?

      • Jamoche

        When we run out, we can start with McConnell and carry on from there.

    • Nick Scroggs

      If there’s any “Nixon White house-raped in prison” jokes here, I’m quitting. Mostly because that’s uh, a bit far huh?

      • well, it is explicitly against The Rules as it is not funny at all.
        However, we can make all sorts of sobbing, alone, powerless and penniless, and wearing orange jumpsuit jokes?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Yes, this. No prison rape jokes. Not funny.

        • Nick Scroggs

          Really? Did not expect that to be against the rules here. I mean with all the shit we post.

      • Serai 1

        You brought it up, dude. Sounds like you’re the only one thinking about it.

        • Nick Scroggs

          So now you are going to, what?

          • Serai 1

            Nothing. Just pointing out that your imagination already did the work.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      How many Republicans should go to Jail? ALL OF THEM, KATIE!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      x2

  • Sophia

    I love Fark submitters

    White House on lock-down after someone reportedly hopped the fence. No word yet on which senior staffer was trying to escape

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    I was out of town all weekend. Has anyone heard from Anna? I’ve been thinking about her a lot.

    • Jamoche

      Scroll down, MynameisBlarney is on it.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    I turned down the second interview for the very high paying job that came looking for me. I really hoped I could finally have income that covered more that just the basics; but I was not willing to compromise my personal ethics. My husband says his father told him a common Hungarian response to, “how are you?” translates roughly to, “shitty, but proud.” So I remain “underpaid, but with integrity.”

    • Sophia

      Good for you.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      that had to be tough.

      • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

        It was; l was glad to have the weekend to think it over.

      • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

        It was, at first, but the more I thought about the way the interviewer talked to me it got easier. My integrity and ethics are worth more than money.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      A lesson even for a oldz. Thanks

  • MynameisBlarney

    Anna thanks everypony, btw.

    • snark-lurker

      she tough and strong but everyone eventually gets tired of fighting–if it goes on long enough. until Anna Elizabeth gets a steady and capable MD to work with her, she will get one rough patch after another, and a person can not endure that for very long. it took my steady and capable MD over a year to get my brain chemistry restored to a tollerable balance

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • Mondoshawan

      Also, too, his tie is getting longer from all the lying, much like Pinocchio’s nose would.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I can’t think of a witty way to say goodnight right now in a bad Scottish accent.

    So…yeah.

    Och…

    That’s it.

    • BosGrl

      Gooood night!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      G’night sweetie!

      • MynameisBlarney

        G’noit!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Sleep well. Laddie.

  • marxalot

    I need to balance the books after this month’s… unexpected… expenses, but I should have recurring Whore Moneys for Wonkette starting in June!

  • LiPao
  • Jukesgrrl

    Here are petitions to save Lawrence O’Donnell’s program on MSNBC. Apparently the network’s president has some kind of personal beef with him and wants to ax his program even though it is the network’s SECOND-HIGHEST in ratings! There are also fears that O’Donnell’s program isn’t the only one that is going to be replaced with more conservatives like Greta Van Susteren.

    http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/save-lawrence-o-donnell
    https://www.change.org/p/msnbc-msnbc-please-renew-the-lawrence-o-donnell-show-he-has-many-devoted-viewers

    Here’s an E-mail address for NBC/Universal viewer feedback if you want to write.
    nbcuniversalviewerfeedback@nbcuni.com
    Here’s an E-mail address for Andrew Lack’s boss: phil.griffin@nbcuni.com
    or phone 212-664-4444.

    • OrG

      That’s for cable having elitists.

    • BosGrl

      I did email Lack, but I’ll email Griffin and sign the petitions. Thanks!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Fuck…
    It’s not even midnight yet.
    Take THIS! Beeotches!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNAkbbKycCM

  • MynameisBlarney
  • BosGrl

    Good night everyone. I’ll leave you with this gem.
    https://twitter.com/BeschlossDC/status/864665041433448448

    • Roni Raven

      I know it’s real, but I cannot believe this isn’t fake.

    • I like how Nixon underlines “great” because he likes to make spoiled brats happy?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • MynameisBlarney
  • DainBramage

    What’s on tapp for tomorrow? Trump planning on sacrificing an aide to Narcissus on the WH lawn?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Pushing Reince Priebus out of Marine One over the Tidal Basin.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Moar rehearsals for The Aristrocrats I’d imagine.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Serai 1

      EUGENE!!!

      I got to hug him once. He’s skinny as a rail and about 35 feet tall. And he smells really good.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • IOnlyLikeCats

    If anyone doesn’t like cauliflower but wants to diversify their vegetables I totally recommend eating mashed cauliflower with bacon.

    • JCfromNC

      Roasted cauliflower is pretty tasty, and you can mash it up, extract the liquid and turn it into pretty passable tortillas for when the taco truck fails to show up on your corner. Lotsa recipes for that out there.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I bought cauliflower rice because I’m too several things to bother ten seconds with a food processor. Maybe I can convince someone else to cook this…

    • Jennifer R

      Shan might get jealous.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I never liked brussel sprouts until my mother in law made them.
      Parboiled, then finished off sauteed in butter, olive oil and bacon.

      • JCfromNC

        I can identify with that story — pretty much the exact same thing happened with me.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        RoAsted hot and crispy in the oven is good also too.

      • Jennifer R

        I made them with seasoned salt and butter and a bit of garlic. They were quite good.

    • marxalot

      Comrade Mom makes kale cooked about with bacon, because it doesn’t wilt as easily as spinach and also bacon.

  • Nick Scroggs

    I’m not going to get banned for assuming you guys would make “Trump getting raped in prison” jokes earlier, am I?

    • Jennifer R

      Maybe? We don’t really *do* prison rape jokes here.

      • Nick Scroggs

        I take it I have to hide a while, then.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Or just change it.

          • Nick Scroggs

            How, everyone’s seen it.

          • Scrofula

            seen what? What’s going on?

          • Nick Scroggs

            Someone posted a twitter thing about how 50 people in the Nixon White House were sent to prison, and I was stating my concern about prison rape jokes because i was thinking of how you guys hate Trump and anyone associated with him with a vengeance, and of this image form Animal House I thought would be seen here: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23da927d422c65abd3044e84d249b0f00df104232d89f1a7ef6c6449ceb32b30.jpg

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And you went there. Really bad form.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Well, guess its’ goodbye again. Wonder how long I’ll stay away from the site this time.

          • Roni Raven

            I personally suggest you stay away until you understand why prison rape jokes (indeed, any rape jokes) are NOT COOL.

            Even if Harold Ramis made them.

            You might want to look up passive aggressive also too.

          • Nick Scroggs

            But I thought you guys were the ones going to make them, you talk about punching Nazis and inflicting things on the Trump administration, I don’t think rape jokes are “cool”, for fucks sake that’s basically half of Family Guy now, I was expressing worry that you guys would go over the edge and make them.

          • Roni Raven

            WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK WE WOULD MAKE RAPE JOKES OF ANY KIND?

            Don’t worry about us. We’re fine. Worry about you.

          • Scrofula

            Wait, is that some roundabout way of getting us to think about Trump cronies getting sexually assaulted, as much as we would like them to experience pain and horror?

            You’ve been here long enough to know it’s like the only codified rule the Editrix has.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I flagged. Enough already.

          • Nick Scroggs

            No I did not know that was a rule ,that’s why I brought up my concerns.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Bullshit. You were looking for an excuse to post this. Now flagged and blocked.

          • Nick Scroggs

            No I was not. I am trying to clear up and rectify my mistake, and explain what is going on, I am not a fucking common troll, I am not getting why you are blocking me.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yes, it is. And enough with this one.

          • Jennifer R

            I don’t even know what you are talking about so I think you are misoverestimating.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Well, it doesn’t matter, I’m already flagged and blocked for stupidly putting the Animal House images I did, which I thought some one person would put up and was trying to explain it. Now I’m nothing but a fucking common troll here. Well, hope they don’t delete my account. Nice knowing you guys.

          • Jamoche

            Er, no. That was my comment you replied to, and really, a 3 second movie clip was the last thing on my mind. More of “is 50 deep enough to reach someone rational?” But y’know, it’s just sitting there in my disqus notifications until it finally scrolls off.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Wait, I responded to someone else, what are we talking about?

          • Jamoche

            The original comment. It wasn’t twitter, it was O’Donnell providing my Lucky 10K Watergate moment.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Okay, okay, I just, it reminded me of the thing and I was worried someone would make a joke about it, since this is pretty much a free for all.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          If you made a “joke” like that, take it down. Because really goddammed offensive.

          • Nick Scroggs

            well it wasn’t me making a joke, I was legitimately worried that those would appear here.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Nope. Not that I’ve seen. And if anybody did, they would be justifiably banhammered.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Okay, I was thinking of how you guys do wish the Trump people and neo-Nazis extremely hurt, and again, this image I was reminded of: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23da927d422c65abd3044e84d249b0f00df104232d89f1a7ef6c6449ceb32b30.jpg

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And now you went there twice. After being told we don’t do that. Sorry, but you’re flagged.

          • Nick Scroggs

            What did I do? I didn’t make this image, blame Harold Ramis.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Why? Why would you think that? The Commenting Rules are pretty specific on that.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      We wouldn’t. And we didn’t. C’mon, man. That’s not how we roll.

    • Roni Raven

      Don’t assume that of me. Sexual assault is not a joke, ever.

    • Scrofula

      I almost mocked Ann Coulter as having an “Adam’s Apple” here once. But I caught by cis-gendered privelage in time, non-denominational deity of your choosing be praised.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Scrofula

    Has anyone checked in next door? Is the WH still occupied by anything orange?

    • Jennifer R

      Had a concern troll but it was just a drive by shitting.

      • Roni Raven

        ISWYDT.

        Well played.

        • Scrofula

          Dammit, IDNSWSDT.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’m guessing the age old question – does a bear shit in the woods? Just a guess, though.

          • Scrofula

            Well I know the Pope does, so there’s that.

          • Chris

            I believe the Pope shits on the Catholics. At least that is what the Jesuits taught me. Course that was decades ago so things may have changed. Ugh, new pontiff, new pointy hat. Better than the last one.

          • Yr. Gma

            And New Pope is a Jesuit himself.

          • Scrofula

            Didn’t the jesuits technically follow the Pope? And all his gaudy baubles? ANd isn’t the current one a sort of Jesuit by way of San Francisco? I don’t know, Mexican weddings are more fun, drunk, brawly, that’s what counts.

          • Chris

            In point of fact the Jesuits were the Storm Troopers for Christ, kind of the Pope’s marines. That the Jesuits also back bit and trash talked the Pope at every opportunity because, well, that is their way.
            As far as I know, the new Pope is a Jesuit but I have a feeling that the lessons of my youth still stand.

          • Scrofula

            I haven’t looked, but I’m sure Pope Pissers is a channel at pornhub. So some will be happy.

          • Roni Raven

            Drive-by shitting.
            Drive-by shooting.

          • Scrofula

            I get the pun, just not what it was . . . eh.

          • Jennifer R

            Thread shitting is where you go and shit post, drive by thread shitting is when you go and shit post then get out of dodge.

          • Scrofula

            And if you eat it with bad milk.

            Stretch, yeah, couple revolutions gone past now, I think.

  • Nick Scroggs

    There, I deleted the two posts with images, will I be unblocked now? Probably not, so to the Editrix of Wonkette, please don’t delete my posts from this entire site, I beg. I honestly have nothing else worthwhile in my utterly cowardly life, this is all I have left. I’ll leave you guys alone, just please, please please please don’t delete my posts or block my account from showing up. I’ll do anything, say anything you want, please.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      My nickel’s worth of free advice? Read Da Rules for this here place. Rule 2 is pretty clear, and you don’t wanna get disemvoweled by Dok.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e7f4abc37ab8492cf8f96453055d1917a8d676e8f48687e49876d5ae0b2e27e.jpg

      • Nick Scroggs

        I did not know that article existed, thank you. In any case, I’ve ruined my reputation, I’m the bad guy now, ruined my own life, made people believe i was a concern troll to be flagged and blocked. Probably end up in the deleted comments, the pinnacle of my life. Well, good night.

  • Scrofula

    Nothing in 13 minutes? I say we throw Nick in the cage with the bees, just to learn em and give us something to do.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’ve blocked him. Because rape jokes. After the little toad was warned repeatedly.

      • Scrofula

        Well, be honest, it was because he was being a shit AFTER being called out, and he was being a shit cause he knew it was getting yer goat. He probably panicked a bit when he realized you weren’t kidding.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          It’s not so much he was getting my goat, although that was annoying. It was that he didn’t respect the ethos here. We cuss, and bicker, but we generally don’t be pointlessly offensive. And I’m not going to call him out, but he knows that we are a pretty supportive group. That was an asshole move on his part. I have no idea what his issues are, and I frankly no longer care.

          • Scrofula

            Oh, I know. Not defending him. It is the only example given in our bible, and he knew and shoulda backed off a thousand words before. But I think he thought he was being more “fun” with it initially, in a sort of smart-ass way a much much much younger me was once, in a parallel universe where’d I’d been held underwater a lot as a baby.

          • Wee Mousie

            A Dunkrer?

          • Scrofula

            is that a thing? Is there really like a german word for a baby who gets held underwater a lot?

          • Wee Mousie

            Unbelievably, a “Dunker” is a kind of religious sect which is so careless of it’s converts that when baptizing them, instead of dribbling a little onto their heads to trickle down and dampen their collar, they rather toss the entire convert into a pool of water and try immediately to separate said convert’s fictional soul from their all to real bodies.

            Not nearly as effective as snake juggling, unless the minister gets a real Irish Washerwoman thing going.

          • Scrofula

            I remember the first time I watched a Welsh Scullery Wench wind up in the local duck pond. Brutally fascinating.

        • Roni Raven

          No. I scrolled down to find out where this started. He was being a shit from the get-go.

          He was called out early, and still he persisted in being a shit.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            That was my read also too.

          • Scrofula

            FWIW, I don’t know when the machina dropped me as Deux to save everyone, except I guess at the end, usually it gets quiet whenever I show up for some reason.
            It got clear to me he had been called out and was bullshitting ignorance, that Woman gave him multiple escapes and, he persisted. If I wasn’t so out of practice with thinking, after my time as a civil servant, I could have said just that last part.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            He was being kind of a dick in the other thread, but I didn’t know the context until I saw this. Dude needs to calm the fuck down and follow the rules.

            Woman was very patient.

          • Scrofula

            I agree with that, yes. (Didn’t read the other threads yet. Still need time to re-acclimate. Far more painful than I expected)

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I dunno. The bees might be offended.

      • Scrofula

        They have their own anger to get out after the first time they were stuck in a cage with a Nick.

        • Yr. Gma

          Which Nick? Oh, Nick Scroggs, I see from reading down. He’s a misogynistic little shit and he whines constantly about how his professors are meeeaaannn to him. I’m gonna block him, too, although I could swear I’ve done that before.

          • Jamoche

            Cage (which is to say, that’s the Nick, not just a Nick in a cage) https://68.media.tumblr.com/127f8ad98cd6cd689489551832d676b9/tumblr_inline_n71dd81w4O1rd8mi1.gif

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Am I a bad person for being sad that those are CGI bees?

          • Jamoche

            Hmm… I’ve never been able to figure out what determines which Nic we get. If he’s only good when he’s being a method actor, then yeah, it needed real bees.

          • Scrofula

            Grannie, I know I can post a day late and after any god-fearing flapper girl would have sent her gentleman home after the walk, because I know you’re here, watching. Judging.

            Yeah, I made fun of his professor once, but in a different way. It was awkward. For him. But we only grunt and do man-noises otherwise, haven’t talked any femme-lit together.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Damn it’s late! Good night everybody.

    • Scrofula

      Bye, nick is hiding behind the dumpster, just FYI. Over there. That one.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      G’night! This roller-coaster just gets crazier, huh?

  • Wee Mousie

    Beaker doesn’t really look like Chuck C. Johnson, it’s just that they both look like a dick with “Scare hair.”

    • Scrofula

      Similar coloration, as well. Good thing it’s dark here.

    • Beaker is a lovable, put-upon scientist who does not deserve to be compared to Chuck C. Johnson.

      • Wee Mousie

        Especially not since he has renounced his vivisectionist past where he tried to graft a barracuda’s brain into a human body. Even though the GOP is still scaring voters with the results of Beaker’s experiments.

  • Bemused

    I know y’all have gone to bed, so I’m going to complain to the ether that I am currently sitting here with a freezing cold head because I AM ON WEEK 4 OF NO WATER HEATER AND HAVE TO WASH MY GD HAIR IN COLD WATER IN THE GD SINK! ARGH!

    My head is cold.

    I hate whole house insurance. And plumbers. And mold abatement.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Oh, that sucks!my condolences

      • Bemused

        Thank you.

        (sniffle. pout. feel sorry for self.) :P

        • Lambsendbeds

          I don’t blame you – that really sucks. I feel sorry for you too. Drink some nice hot chocolate ( or whatever warming tipple floats your boat) and be glad you don’t have to wash your hair tomorrow.

    • Chris

      Have you tried heating water on the stove?

      • Bemused

        Yep. I’ve done that as well (also for dishes. argh.), but it’s really hard to pour over your own head in a reasonable way to get the shampoo out, where as the sink sprayer works well for getting shampoo out, but is cold. It’s a trade off.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Go to your local garden center and look for one of those large plastic watering cans with a shower type top on the nozzle. After you heat the water put it in the can. Wash in the coool water, rinse the soap in the cool sprayer water. Then as a last rinse use the warm water in the can. Not perfect but at least the last rinse is warm.

          • Bemused

            That is NOT a bad idea. Thank you!

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            https://www.amazon.com/Advanced-Elements-Summer-Solar-Shower/dp/B000J2Q0SU

            ?

            (I can’t remember the wonkete link, sorry, ‘trix)

          • Bemused

            Oo, this is not a bad idea either. I was just thinking it was too bad it wasn’t July and I could go outside in the 110 degree heat and wash my hair under the hose. (it was in the 60s today, mother nature is obviously confused about California and when summer weather is supposed to arrive.)

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Yeah, WTF, right? I’m out in the burbs in CoCo and it’s fucking May. Where’s my 100+ degree weather?

          • Bemused

            Exactly. My parents live not quite in the foothills and it rained today. FFS.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I was just outside in Walnut Creek and there’s fog. FOG!

            Karl can fuck off in May.

          • Bemused

            At least there’ll be some water this summer and fewer news stories about drought.

            We used to laugh when I went to college in Seattle. Every year we’d get to school and they’d have drought and water usage warnings posted all over campus. Poor budgies couldn’t tell the difference between drought and summer.

          • Lambsendbeds

            You live in Walnut Creek? I’m in Oakland! *waves*
            Yeah – low 60s in mid May – fuck that. Was James Inahoe here with his snowball or sumthin’?

          • zerosumgame0005

            Near Fresno and I have hardly had to run the swamp cooler at all! last year it was burning hot in May

        • Chris

          This won’t help tonight but is this going to be an issue for the next week or two?

          • Bemused

            Probably the rest of this week. The abatement is actually done, but they have to close up the wall, paint etc, then the plumber has to come back and install a new water heater.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            It get’s better.

    • Speak