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And so, I challenge the Batman to show himself!

Like a lot of people, we somehow had gone through life blissfully unaware of the existence of rightwing sleazeball Roger Stone until he started popping up all over during Donald Trump’s presidential campaign; he always gets described as a Nixon-era dirty trickster, although his actual involvement with Nixon was more as a post-Watergate admirer, one of those slimy Young Republicans who thought the worst thing Nixon did was leaving evidence behind.

Now Stone’s career and political philosophy, such as it is, are the subject of the terrific new political documentary Get Me Roger Stone, produced for Netflix and released on the streaming service this weekend. Directed by Dylan Bank, Daniel DiMauro, and Morgan Pehme, the documentary pokes and prods at the self-made myth of Roger Stone, who’d like you to believe he’s a political genius, the dark master of hardball politics and the man largely responsible for both the nastiness of modern politics and the presidency of Donald Trump. Without pushing the point too insistently, the film invites us to be skeptical about that. While he’s definitely an éminence greasy behind the scenes of rightwing politics, Roger Stone is more than anything an expert image merchant, and his favorite product is Roger Stone. Oh, hey, here’s a trailer!

It would be difficult to screw up a documentary about anyone as enraging and flamboyant as Roger Stone, who introduces himself as “an agent provocateur” and sits for interviews wearing his trademark playing-at-a-gangster suits, often sipping from a martini glass big enough to make you wonder where the Big Gulp logo is.

Fortunately, Get Me Roger Stone does more than just not screw up — the filmmakers know they’re dealing with a self-made chameleon, and they interview plenty of journalists and political experts who’ve tried to make sense of the amoral bastard. Even his onscreen supporters acknowledge Stone’s love for the dark side of politics — after all, it’s part of his image.

Many of the best lines come from Jeffrey Toobin, whose 2008 New Yorker profile is required reading in Roger Stone Studies. Toobin sums up Stone succinctly in the film’s first few minutes: “Roger is the sinister Forrest Gump of American politics. This Machiavellian, almost crazy guy who shows up at every key moment of American history.”

From the admiring but also sometimes skeeved-out Tucker Carlson (who actually comes off as not an asshole in this picture, a small surprise), there’s this: Stone “actually gets democracy in a way, I think, a lot of people who cover politics don’t. Democracy is the process of appealing to the majority.” Hold on a second. There’s a better word for that, at least as it’s practiced by Stone and his ilk: Demagoguery. There are more sources who are critical than supportive of Stone, but that’s not a problem — Stone does a fine job of selling himself.

Stone tells us a story — who knows, it might even be true, but don’t put money on it — of his very first political involvement, as an elementary schooler during the 1960 election. His mom was for Kennedy, so li’l Roger was, too, and he says that before his school’s mock election, he told every kid in the lunch line Nixon was for school on Saturdays, and Kennedy won the kiddie election in a landslide. “For the first time ever, I understood the value of disinformation,” Stone says, pleased with himself as always. “Of course, I’ve never practiced it since then.”

As for his brief engagement with Nixon’s 1972 campaign: he was dispatched to deliver a campaign contribution in the name of the “Young Socialist Alliance” to the New Hampshire headquarters of Republican liberal Pete McCloskey, where he was careful to get a receipt, which he promptly took to the Manchester Union-Leader in an attempt to call attention to McCloskey’s dangerous leftist tendencies. Stone calls the prank a “perfect example of of a dirty trick that had no purpose and no effect, but the Nixon people thought it was great” — and as far as we can tell, it’s the only actual dirty trick he ever worked for Nixon.

Not exactly Gordon Liddy stuff, but since his name showed up on a list of people paid with dirty CREEP money, 19-year-old Roger Stone became the youngest person to testify before the Watergate grand jury, and that was enough to build a reputation as a dirty trickster upon. And yes, years later he got that Nixon tattoo on his back, which he says represents Nixon’s “resilience.”

Stone ran Reagan’s 1980 campaign in three states, and claims to have identified (and maybe named, why not?) “Reagan Democrats” as a key portion of The Gipper’s base. Later in the 80’s, Stone dived into (or helped invent, according to some) the game of lobbying the government he helped elect, as part of the consulting agency, Black, Manafort & Stone. Yes, that would be Paul Manafort.

In addition to political consulting, the group did a thriving business lobbying for corrupt third-world dictators, and gained the nickname “the Torturers’ Lobby.” Toobin says the firm “in their brazenness, really created the modern sleazeball lobbyist” who would take any client, no matter how much blood on their hands, as long as they professed to be anti-communist and — more importantly — paid well.

Stone isn’t bothered by squeamish liberals who thought the business was amoral, saying, as if it’s a Deep Insight, “One man’s freedom fighter is another’s terrorist.” Stone is proud of his time repping dictators, because “I made a lot of money and I can’t think of anything I did that was either illegal or immoral.” See, he really is a master of realpolitik. Toobin says morality simply isn’t a concern for Roger Stone, who “sees morality as a synonym for weakness. That’s something that he’s always going to have contempt for.”

Stone was also a big fan of one of the 20th century’s most casually horrible Americans, Joseph McCarthy’s lawyer buddy Roy Cohn, whom he met in the early ’80s and who introduced him to a guy named Donald Trump. Village Voice reporter Wayne Barrett (who died the day before Trump’s inauguration, and to whom the film is dedicated) says of Stone’s toadying admiration for the old red-baiter, “Roy Cohn is the single most evil person I have ever covered. If that’s a magnet for you as a young man, it says you’re soulless before you start.”

By then, Stone was quite happy to embrace — and burnish — the image of dirty trickster; as he tells the filmmakers, “It’s gonna to be in the first paragraph of my NYT obit, so I might as well go with the flow.” As to the charge that he is himself without morality, Stone disagrees, of course: “Those who say I have no soul, those who say I have no principles, are losers. Those are bitter losers.” Gosh, that sounds familiar somehow.

And so on. There’s the squicky sex scandal that got him booted from Bob Dole’s 1996 campaign: Stone and his wife advertised in a swingers’ magazine, looking for a nice orgy, which didn’t go over too well with the family-values crowd. (David Letterman joked that Republicans had gotten to the point where it was scandalous that a guy had sex with his own wife.).

Stone stayed in politics, but in the background; he claims to have instigated the “Brooks Brothers riot” during the 2000 Florida vote recount, but others say he’s exaggerated his role. Stone brought us the bullshit story of Michelle Obama’s “Whitey tape,” which still hasn’t surfaced, if you can believe that, and has also been accused of forging the documents about George W. Bush’s military shirking that brought down Dan Rather — a true shame, since the shirking was real and corroborated by other sources, even if the papers were fake.

And of course, there’s Trump, who Stone always thought would make a great president; kindred fans of conspiracy theories, Stone turned Trump on to the notion that Barack Obama was hiding his birth certificate, which finally made Trump a national political contender (this may have been the moment our world entered the crapsack alternate universe we’re in now. Somewhere else, Donald Trump is a smart articulate humanitarian with a goatee).

The second half of the movie is mostly about the 2016 campaign, although Stone left his official position with the Trump campaign after the first Republican debate and Trump’s feud with Megyn Kelly. Stone insists he quit, while Trump says he fired him, in part because “he liked to get a lot of publicity for himself, which I didn’t want.” Which may sound awfully familiar to President Steve Bannon and President Jared Kushner now. His ouster was probably orchestrated in part by Corey Lewandowski, who hated Stone, and the feelings are mutual — in yet another display of his highly original wit, Stone says “a Polish language expert” had recently informed him that “‘Lewandowski,’ loosely translated, means ‘cocksucker.'” The man is so freaking smart!

One clip from the 2016 primary deserves special attention; after the National Enquirer ran a highly improbable story claiming Ted Cruz had had five mistresses, Cruz blamed Stone for feeding the story to the Enquirer, which of course Stone denies — he only went on the record to say he thought if it were true, the story would hurt Cruz with his evangelical base (which it didn’t, because most people are puzzled that even Heidi would sleep with Cruz). Cruz, with that trademark prissive-aggressive nasal voice of his, angerwhines that Stone is a dirty trickster, “a man for whom a term was coined, for copulating with a rodent” How the hell did we miss that clip when Cruz said it? Regardless of whether “ratfucking” was coined to describe Stone (we doubt it was), “Copulating with a rodent” needs to stick to Ted Cruz like the rooftop ride of poor Seamus the dog has clung to Mitt Romney’s reputation. Also, Ted, we’re pretty sure it’s not about fucking a rat. It’s about a rat fucking a campaign.

Again and again, Stone’s image as a dark manipulator seems mostly a matter of self-aggrandizement. He’s a political operative and player, for sure, but you have to doubt the true Sith alignment of a guy who’s happy to be introduced as “The Prince Of Darkness” — any whiff of sulfur around Stone was self-applied, not from the pits of Hell. It’s his schtick, and he enjoys it, even teasing the filmmaker that the “Stephen Colbert character that I play called Roger Stone” isn’t the real him, but he’ll never say who the real Roger Stone is. Which is not to say he’s had no influence at all; New Yorker reporter Jane Mayer gets it perfectly right, saying Stone is

very smart about anger. It’s one of the things he understands best. It’s angry, white working-class voters whose resentments are being milked to push an agenda that’s useful to some of the richest people in the country. These are hardly people who are in tune with the little guy’s interests. But they understand how to manipulate the little guy’s interests.

It’s all a show, and Roger Stone would love to consider himself the ringmaster, even if he’s more like lead clown, and probably the man who did the most to push Donald Trump into running for president — or really, a strong second to Donald Trump’s own ego and desire for revenge after the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, so let’s give some credit to Barack Obama, too. Thanks a lot, Obama.

Trump himself only speaks to the filmmakers a little, but when he does, it’s pure Trump as the most enthusiastic consumer of his own bullshit. You can easily see why Stone loves him: Trump is the perfect vehicle for a con artist like Stone. You know what impresses Trump about Stone? Stone recognizes how smart Trump is. God knows that if Trump really did shoot someone on Fifth Avenue, Stone would let Trump know it was a grand idea — though he’d take care not to put it in writing.

Roger understands that I’ve always gotten great ratings, whether it’s on “The Apprentice” or virtually any interview, and that’s why people want to interview me. And I think that’s one of the things that’s always fascinated Roger, because ultimately, it is all about the ratings, and it is all about people watching and the eyeballs.

It truly is all about the ratings and the people watching and the eyeballs, not to mention the biting and the scratching and the hurting, oyyy.

The last bit of the movie looks at Stone’s partnership with Alex Jones, who Stone says is a very important figure, even though “the elite media likes to call him a conspiracy theorist” (this is followed by a clip of Jones screaming “I don’t like ’em puttin’ chemicals in the water that turns the frickin’ frogs gay!”) Says Stone in his Man of Wisdom voice, Alex Jones “has a bully pulpit that allows him to reach millions of people, and they are Trump’s people. They are outsiders, skeptical about government, skeptical about the bullshit government is always trying to peddle you.” And they are remarkably receptive to the bullshit Stone and Jones and Trump are peddling.

We’d love to see more on Jones and Stone’s freaky partnership; maybe we’ll have to make an Alex Jones documentary. Jones is, like Stone, a guy whose crazyscreaming may all be an act, or not; they both remind us of Kurt Vonnegut’s warning from Mother Night: “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

The movie closes with election night, getting through a summary of Trump’s narrow surprise victory far more efficiently than Donald Trump ever does when he’s nattering on about it, so we don’t get much at all about Stone’s or Manafort’s possible connections to Russia (which are fake news anyway). The filmmakers ask Stone, in a stretch limo on the way to Trump Tower, “What message would you have for the viewers of this film who will loathe you when the credits roll?”

Stone, dressed in his very best Oswald Cobblepot getup, replies, “I revel in your hatred, because if I weren’t effective, you wouldn’t hate me.” Yes, yes, he’s totally won, and all the commenters secretly agree with him. Too bad Roger Stone’s brand of politics — which he didn’t invent, sorry — are already proving to be far more effective at winning an election than running a country.

Get Me Roger Stone, (2017) Directed by Dylan Bank, Daniel DiMauro, and Morgan Pehme. 1 hour 32 minutes. Now streaming on Netflix.

Program note: This documentary was way better than this week’s lame deleted comments; Dear ShitFerBrains will be back next week!

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  • msanthropesmr

    Shit. Looks like if you want good deleted comments, you’ll have to make ’em yerself.

  • William
  • Ezio

    Wow. He really does look like a 1960’s Batman villain in that suit! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3898c6a4503f5c452c3c91d630d2dc006a28d76b9b6b6bace63e56590730ecea.png

  • rick

    Roger Stone encapsulates all that is wrong with conservatism and Republican politics.

  • baconzgood

    He seems nice.

  • El_Pinche

    why?

  • chascates

    I think he looks more like Reinhard Heydrich, whom he probably idolizes.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9f31a9ee7444812d1447a47e8bb8bcef42eb18fc5fd0feb086f7ec7c69ee2eb0.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Heydrich was a clothes horse. Stone is one (he once had a layout in Penthouse wearing some expensive shirts). So there’s a parallel for you right there.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Think how long it would take an SS officer to get dressed in the morning….

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “prissive-aggressive”

    BRILLIANT!

    • zerosumgame0005

      pisshooker-aggressive?

  • lucidamente

    When does he die from AIDS?

  • Ezio

    “It’s one of the things he understands best. It’s angry, white working-class voters whose resentments are being milked to push an agenda that’s useful to some of the richest people in the country.”

    This is literally the history of race in this nation and assimilation of different European immigrant groups into whiteness. To the point where all the Irish and Italians who used to complain about being discriminated against now treat all other subordinate minority groups like crap.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Now, I’m considering getting a tattoo of Marvel’s Black Widow, and I do think that getting a known face tattooed on your body indicates sexual attraction as well as admiration, and I have zero difficulty admitting that.

    Note Stone’s tattoo. He probably pulls his pud thinking about bottoming for Tricky Dick.

    • FauxAntocles

      Ew, ew, ew!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I did not need that image so soon after breakfast.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “Oh, Mr. President…send Love’s B-52 to Linebacker me! Send it Downtown!”

        • cheetojeebus

          Where’s a good ack ack gun when you need one!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Moar like SA-2 “Guideline” missiles.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Ezio

    I think I would rather sit through the three-hour Psychobat vs Superbland: Yawn of Justice than sit through an hour and a half movie about Roger Stone.

    • doktorzoom

      Nahh, it’s a really good movie made by goddamned Hollywood liberal commies. The interviews with Jeffrey Toobin, Jane Mayer, Wayne Barrett, and Daily Beast editor Harry Siegel are pretty incisive stuff. And they let Stone hang himself.

      • Ezio

        Ah I see. Perhaps I misunderstood.

    • zerosumgame0005

      only good part of that movie was bad ass Wonder Woman!

  • Old town Urbandale

    “…as part of the consulting agency, Black, Manafort & Stone. Yes, that would be Paul Manafort.”

    And Black would be the color of their hearts?

    • lucidamente

      Heart of Stone?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    He thinks morality is a weakness but he also thinks those who say he has no morality or principles are losers.

    Makes total sense.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s inner circle: Jammy wearing serial sex harasser Roger Ailes, racist wifebeater Bannon & incredibly creepy perv Roger Stone.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrGpxPfVYAAMLE2.jpg

    • weejee

      And the evangelicals still love their tRump.

    • theCryptofishist

      Isn’t “wifebeater” redundant with this crowd? Now that I think, “racist” is also, too.

  • Hi guys!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Shanzgood

    Damn, that’s a lot of work for a Sunday, Dok.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Nockular cavity

      That’s why Stone wears all the hats–to hide the pin head.

    • weejee

      Zippy LIBEL !!!

    • Ezio

      He looks like my old douchey HS gym teacher.

  • Wild Cat

    Believe. Me. No. Heterosexual. Man. Dresses. Like. That. And. I. Know. He. Has. A. Foreign. Beard. Bride.

    ROY COHN (Gay Chicken Hawk—in the old sense) who intentionally infected dozens upon dozens of young men with AIDS before he kicked mentored Trump, Giuliani, and Stone and stood on the side of Wm. F. “Lispy” Buckley.

    Notice a fucking trend with the uber-fascist Coastal Elite side of the GOfuckingPee?

  • chascates
    • HazooToo

      Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhate.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Rumor has it that the SNL skit with Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer and Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump passionately making out really sent Donnie over the edge and around the bend. WH staffers are holding meetings to determine how to push back against SNL.

      • chascates

        RawStory has:

        Trump is considering replacing Sean Spicer, who has had his share of embarrassing slip-ups as the press secretary, with Fox New host Kimberly
        Guilfoyle, the Times reported, citing six West Wing officials. The
        president decided to make changes to the communication team because of
        his dissatisfaction with several top authorities, mainly Spicer.
        The 70-year-old has also become “increasingly dissatisfied” with
        the performance of his Chief Of Staff Reince Priebus and Communications
        Director Michael Dubke, the Times noted

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lyly Sirivong

    “I’m an agent provocatoor.”

    XD

  • zerosumgame0005

    small point but those papers Dan produced were not judged as fake. some small portions APPEAR to be in proportional spacing. which is not how proportional spacing works. either it is ALL proportional or none of it is. what it most resembles are copies made with an old old style Xerox machine which pulled papers through. but then again that is the fake narrative sold to the masses…

  • weejee

    Does Pence have the tapes showing the Secret Service detail was getting the hookers for Mikey, not themselves?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a7f60eccdeae6955cf29748238007b77bbb8b7342ec537e6332ad895da1617ef.jpg

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    If there’s a single figure who is “largely responsible for the nastiness of modern politics,” it’s Newt Gingrich, says me.

    Whenever I see Stone’s name, I feel like I’m passing one.

    • snark-lurker

      he did seem to be the first one to dial it up to max+ eleventy & mebbee inspired Rush to go off too

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Well, it wasn’t just his example. He got a study done by Frank Luntz and then gathered the Republican house members to give them lessons in how to be maximally nasty as possible.

  • William
    • Ezio

      Molly Ringwald libelz!

    • frrolfe

      Strange. I could’ve sworn it was was from the Kim Davis Kastoff KKolection.

    • MizzMazz

      Good gawd, talk about triggering! Ugly color, check; ugly cut, check, those sleeves and that collar? I want Tim Gunn to rip her to shreds.

      • I really can’t criticize her clothing choices. As a lady of roughly that shape, buying fashionable, well made clothes is nearly impossible. And i’m assuming the fake Christian veneer precludes cleavage, which limits her further. I will criticize everything about this lying, terrible “human” though

        • MizzMazz

          I can. I’m fatter than her, and I know what’s flattering and what isn’t. That dress is just not something to wear when you are addressing the WHPC. Yes, well made clothes for bigger people are more expensive and hard to find, but that rig – ugh.

          • Like i said, i’m betting the fake x-tian veneer, precludes cleavage which would cut out all of my favourite shopping haunts. I find most high-necked stuff to be shapeless and stupid. And ugly

          • MizzMazz

            I just think for the occasion, a nice blouse and a dark blazer would work better. For the everyday stuff for everyday people like you and me, yes, a bit of cleavage nice. I like dresses when I’m not at work, or soft pants and t-shirts. Sound some great flowy stuff from India on Amazon that looks great, but…hand wash only. :(

          • Like 70% of my wardrobe is hang to dry. I need two more drying racks

          • MizzMazz

            I like those wood Madisons. My last roommate stole mine, but Ace Hardware sells them, probably Amazon too. Doing the drip dry keeps the shower out of bounds for too long, and I have no clothesline in this flat.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I have a hall closet with tile floor, and a big Tupperwear bin underneath. :) Otherwise I’d be up shit’s creek with drying my clothes.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          You and I need to go shopping sometime, I am expert at finding the “look”. :)

          • I know how i want to dress, i just can’t afford to replace everything i own. I add pieces as i move on, and i always try to get well made stuff that will last

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Good, that’s the best way. I’m having to do one piece at a time since losing more weight.

            I also too hand-wash all my clothing, it’s been making things last.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          There are places, but you have to look and they ain’t cheap. They know they have a captive audience. And you need a good alterations person, which isn’t cheap either. But there’s no excuse for a woman in that job. They could get her a tailor or designer and make from scratch if necessary. She’s the face of the administration.

          • MizzMazz

            Exactly. When showing up at that podium, you need to be put together, and she has the money to do so.

          • desida

            Right?? We’re not talking about some random public figure who maybe doesn’t have the time to really put a lot of thought into a flattering personal style or the money not to shop at Dress Barn. She’s speaking for the fucking WHITE HOUSE. Guaranteed, they could (and should!) hire her a stylist. The reason they don’t is that they just don’t give a shit. About anything. Whatever, we’ll all just be hilariously schlubby and unprofessional at all times, because fuck it, who cares? It’s just the stupid American people, whatever. Gah.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        She essentially made every wrong choice with that look. I could fix her up for less than $100 Ameros spent, nit that I’d waste my fashion advice on her.

      • William

        There should be some rule that clothing worn on TV should be of a color found in nature.

        • MizzMazz

          There are guidelines for what to wear on TV. She basically broke them all. That color can be found in nature. I had poppies that were that color, with some purple – yes, those poppies.

          • Lamashtar

            …I thought that picture was photoshopped. O_O

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Also, wear a jacket, FFS. It can look feminine.

        • Shanzgood

          And professional. That stupid little twisted bolero sweater was cute but not for work.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Speaking as a not-small-sized woman with a large chest, the stupid twisted bolero sweater shouldn’t have been light in color.

    • Shanzgood

      She keeps dressing like she’s going for afternoon beers with her girlfriends.

      • MizzMazz

        At Applebees.

      • snark-lurker

        mebbee she is

        • Shanzgood

          Well, she could change AFTER the presser!

      • William

        In the meantime she looks like what would be sitting at the bar at closing time if Wal-Mart was a bar.

        • Shanzgood

          She’s not THAT big. She could get a nice suit.

          • A nice pantsuit goes with everything

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Hell, a quality button-up blouse and pencil midi-skirt would look like Hugo Boss compared to this mess.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s all I meant. I’ve shopped at Lane Bryant myself and could have done better.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, and I meant no criticism of you. I don’t even know where to buy things like she is wearing.

          • MizzMazz

            I had a girlfriend in my teens and early twenties, and she had a difficult body type, apple. Her mother would bring her home dresses like this with peter pan collars and in menopause pastels. Clothes choices for bigger women have gotten better, but there’s still a long way to go.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’m more of an Amazon than BBW now, but when I was buying 2XL tops, I still found nice blouses at like Target & Walmart. These Peter Pan-collars and such are for the birds.

          • MizzMazz

            It was the 80’s and there was really nothing for fat women. Even what fat lady clothes were out there, they didn’t take into account your shape, and there are many kinds of fat. Oh, and it was the 80’s so fabric felt like shit, and everything had fucking shoulderpads sewn in. I *like* shoulderpads, but I’ll decide when to wear them. Gross clothes.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Eww, I feel that.

            But there is zero excuse for a White House employee not to look sharp and professional. Even Family Dollar has nicer clothes than Huckabee-Sanders is wearing.

          • Shanzgood

            Remember, they were on EVERYTHING?! You could have on a slip and a dress/blouse then a blazer and a coat and there’d be so much shoilderpad buildup you’d look like a linebacker!!!

          • MizzMazz

            They do make your hips looks smaller ;)

          • William

            Compared to her brothers she’s just a wisp of a little thing.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      As a fat woman myself (although lost 29 lbs yay!) I can’t pick on her size. But I can tell you that Lane Bryant wouldn’t carry that mess.
      Why doesn’t she have a stylist? Even Kellyanne could give her a few tips.
      Get a flattering haircut with a few highlights, and dress professionally. Talbots makes suits in your size. Waffle House Waitress indeed.

      • My mom keeps trying to steer me to clothes like this. I am now going to point to this “woman” and ask if she wants me to dress like anoyone from this White House.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          There are a lot of fashion forward stores for plus size women these days. Also, several designers, although they won’t display the clothing in the store. The Intertubes are a godsend.

      • MizzMazz

        Right on for losing 29 lbs. That’s a lot!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Thanks. It’s taken 6 months and I’m still fat, but this is the rest of my life, not a diet. It has to work for me.

          • MizzMazz

            Agreed. As someone who has yo-yoed in my adult life, it is hard to find what works and what you can live with. It is not a character or moral flaw, it is trying to live with the body you have the best you can. Still, good on you. <3

          • Shanzgood

            I appreciated Amy Schumer’s body positive messages a couple of years ago when I was her same size. She said she’s 5’6″ and 160lbs and a size 6, though, and I was WTF? Where does she shop? I’m taller than that and was the same weight and busting out of size 10 clothes. I’m 130 and a size 6 NOW. I guess the rich-lady shops all do vanity sizing.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, SRSLY? I <3 Schumer, but that sounds so wrong.

          • Amy!

            For every extra $500, you get clothes in your size, with a label one size smaller.

          • MizzMazz

            The scale and BMI is not an accurate account. Bodies vary in muscle density, and height does come into play, and so many other factors, such as vanity sizing. XD Same with shoes, it’s what they felt like making that day.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Like the size thing – I’m very happy I could buy my Size 8 jeans this month, it is a personal triumph. I hope Nopony thinks I am body shaming, I may never get smaller than 8, it’s the difference between that and the Size 18 I started in that makes me happy.

            And when I was Size 18, I still looked either cuter, or more business-apropos than Huckabee-Sanders.

      • William

        I’m one of those people that doesn’t really give a hoot about fashion. If a person has substance, it really doesn’t matter, but if a right wing idiot from a dynasty like the Huckabees gives me any opportunity to mock them, I’m all in.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I think there’s such a thing as professional appearance. It’s about showing respect. But when you have a soup sandwich for a boss, what can you expect?
          Who let her go out like that?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I have a friend who’s in politics. She says that, when you walk in a room, the first thing everyone does is assess you from head to toe. Only after they’ve done that will they listen to what you have to say.

          It’s a bitch, but it’s also reality, and you just have to roll with it.

      • Painter of Goats

        Congrats on the 29 lost, I’m at 26 lbs. gone myself. (I ate myself silly after the election, so the first 20 just got me back to my regular fatness.) But you are so right. We can’t all look like runway models (too scrawny anyway) but you can at least look like you give a shit.

      • Painter of Goats

        Not sure Kellyanne’s fashion tips would be that helpful. Remember the clarinet-player-band-uniform she wore to the inauguration?

        • William

          Who can forget that nutcracker costume.

        • snigsy

          The tin-pot-dictator ensemble?

    • Treg Brown
    • SayItWithWookies

      Nice to see the Huckabee taste in fashion doesn’t fall far from the tree — i.e., the edgy side of the Ladies’ Home Journal spreads.

  • Chadwells

    I made it until Stone opened his mouth. That taint licker triggers me in zero point two seconds. There are few people I’d like to fight more than him. With votes, only to appease the rules gods.

    • Shanzgood

      TAINT LICKER LI—

      nm

  • proudgrampa

    TO ALL MY WONKETTE FRIENDS WHO ARE MOTHERS:

    HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!

    i MADE YOU A CARD:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4729e4ad20a12f22d31392224ac00232c20ee815e4fbbaf36ebc6083abfbbac.gif

    (with apologies to Google…)

  • DainBramage

    This is the type of maggot infested human garbage that Trump like to pal around with. Yet his idiot followers freak out about emails with risotto recipes. I’m going to go scream into a pillow.

  • Al Swearengen

    Just like Trump, Stone is shitty conman because he just can’t keep his stupid mouth shut. Thankfully.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Gay frogs? Hell, that’s nothing. Do you know what the queers are doing to the soil?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71PNZH1OaW0

    • TJ Barke

      What about the big lizard in his backyard?

  • Shoto

    “Jones is, like Stone, a guy whose crazyscreaming may all be an act, or not…”

    While I agree that there’s a bit of play-acting weaved into their public personas, I would also assert that the obvious cosplay bullshit gurgles up from a reservoir of deep sociopathy / outright lunacy. These are some diseased-ass MFers.

  • I have added this to my Netflix downloads and will probably watch whilst drying laundry outside

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    I remember being told by classmates that Goldwater was for school on Saturdays,* so if Stone actually made up that trick, which I doubt, it had an afterlife.

    *Yeah, I’m a old.

  • TJ Barke

    I like how AJ can stumble upon a real problem(pharmaceutical hormone waste) and then reach the utterly wrong conclusion about it.

    • Ezio

      Well, the most dangerous thing is lies that have a little bit truth mixed in.

    • efoveks

      But, but… so many gay frogs…. what will Pepe ever do, what with all these boys tryinta take his little flower away??

      • Lamashtar

        Watching the racists pervert what was originally a decent character, and make it into a church over an ancient Egyptian frog god, it makes me wonder, “maybe evil gods weren’t really evil? Maybe it was some asshole followers claiming them as excuses, all along.” (Full disclosure: I am thinking in terms of comic books and fantasy worlds, as well as the real world.)

  • Sophia

    Well I for one am glad this has been taken care of:.

    President Donald J. Trump Proclaims May 14, 2017, as Mother’s Day

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/05/14/president-donald-j-trump-proclaims-may-14-2017-mothers-day?

  • Lefty Wright

    It speaks volumes about the values of far too many people in this country that a person can build a reputation on being vile, unethical and immoral. And make a lot of money by being even more vile, unethical and immoral. A corollary being people with no talent or abilities making millions by being reality stars, which begin with shows based on false premises and scripted actions, like Trump or Omarossa. Or being famous because you have the right last name and no talent, like Paris Hilton.

    • Lamashtar

      Someone told me there’s studies that reality tv’s obsession with bad behavior is having ill effects on the population.

  • Crz

    Noooooo! I can’t make it through the week with no “Dear ShitFerBrains”.

  • BloviateMe
  • Jamoche

    http://shareblue.com/bad-news-for-trump-huge-majority-of-americans-wants-independent-investigation/#.WRiOIU0CuXw.twitter

    Only 3% of poll responders think there should be no Russia investigation – 2018 Repubs, take note.

    • suziq

      And those 3% are the ones directly involved.

  • Apple Scruff

    Stone insists he quit, while Trump says he fired him, in part because “he liked to get a lot of publicity for himself, which I didn’t want.” Which may sound awfully familiar to President Steve Bannon and President Jared Kushner now.

    And also James Comey. That attention-grabbing showboater.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    According to the Wiki, “ratfucking” may derive either from military slang or from the rollicking Young Republican scene at USC in the forties and fifties when the likes of Segretti, Haldeman, and Chapin were there. Stone was born in 1952.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Wait a minute. Are you suggesting that a Republican conman took credit for something that existed long before he came of age? We need to nip this in the bud right now before some other Republican decides to do the same thing.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The original GOPer sin… Joe McCarthy and Roy Cohn. And US Amercia’s been at war with itself since thanks several generations of rat fuckers they spawned ever since.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Interesting- reading about McCarthy, he was very Trumpian- a liar and a phony who desperately wanted to be liked. People like Cohn amplified his awfulness like some horribly virus.

    • puredog

      Dok, I can’t believe you missed the Ted Cruz “copulating with a rodent” quote when it came out. IIRC, hereabouts, coffee was spewn.

  • sw19wilson
    • proudgrampa

      So Right…

    • Lamashtar

      (what does it say)

  • lucidamente
    • sw19wilson

      Is this the one he was cheating with, while his wife was dying of cancer?

      • proudgrampa

        Sounds right…

      • lucidamente

        I believe that was wife two. Callista is number three.

        • Lori

          Yup. The “best” part about Newt’s first adultery leading to divorce was the cancer angle. The “best” part about his 2nd round of adultery leading to divorce was that after banging Callista for a good long while he was getting worn out by all the lying, so went to his then-wife and proposed that they have an open marriage. (Example# 4211: Republican don’t understand consent.) Callie Catholic was apparently OK with this. I’m sure the Pope will be thrilled to have her as ambassador to the Vatican [eye roll]

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The second time, yes.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Callista was the intern he was fucking while he was saying Bill Clinton should be impeached for fucking an intern.

    • William
      • Ezio

        Those eyes

      • TJ Barke

        That is a reptilian, I’m sure of it!

    • Ezio

      She’s Catholic? I thought she was straight up WASP.

      • suziq

        Yup, I believe Newt “converted” for her. Because if there is anyone who embodies what the Catholic faith purports to be, it would be Newt.

        • Erala Contratista

          Plus two annulments, too,also! Wonder how much those cost……

    • eggsacklywright

      Vatican needs a blow job?

      • suziq

        Well, “needs” is a matter for debate but from what I have been seeing and reading the Vatican is about 95% actively gay. Bigly.

    • TJ Barke

      So grossly inappropriate that I can’t even…

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Wait, this doesn’t fit the pattern. Shouldn’t he appoint Oliver Cromwell?

    • Al Swearengen

      Quid pro quo for Newt being all over Fox News defending Trump.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Can the Vatican reject her? I think they can–and they fucking should.

    • efoveks

      How…. inappropriate.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What says “Vatican ambassador” more than a sneaky, hypocritical adulterer with tragic hair?

    • Back in the late 60s, a friend got married (Had to) and it was abusive so she got a divorce. She could no longer receive the sacraments, like Communion and yet Jackie O, married to a divorced man, had an audience with the Pope. Not who you know, it’s who you blow.
      To my friend’s credit, she raised her daughter on her own and now she is an attorney in DC (the daughter).

  • proudgrampa

    I’m still not sure why Stone is even a thing…

    Now being Stoned is another thing…

    • anon_the_great

      Why is this filthy POS a thing?

      Welcome to Shitland

  • snigsy

    It seems that Roger Stone is the Where’s Waldo of Republican election campaigns.

  • SterWonk

    If you can get past the [TRIGGER WARNING for arachnophobes] picture of a ginormous spider at the top of the page, this is a disturbingly accurate analysis of where the Congressional GOP is at.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This was actually a great article. I hate spiders, but worth it.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Morality is a synonym of weakness. That, ladies and gentlemen, sums up the conservative worldview. This is why I fucking hate their guts and want them all as far away from me as humanly possible.

    • TJ Barke

      But but… something something “moral majority”!

      • Jamoche

        “The Moral Majority is neither”

    • Ezio

      “Pro life! Babies shouldn’t be aborted but that poor waitress who serves my coffee should get another 3 jobs if she wants health coverage.”

      • Leilanijregister

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sg133c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
        !sg133c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs443TopBrainGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sg133c:….,……

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s more like morality is useful when it serves their purpose, like impeaching a president for a blowjob. Immediately jettisoned when it’s not.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      I guess I posted the same thing, and I agree completely.

    • Shibusa
  • Ezio

    So how do you suppose THIS image is going to look when we teach kids about the alt-right internet trolls and such? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5e71d2ff8983a5519637e27824303416e04ca232b45ee73e04168e3e823e19ef.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      God these people are fucking stupid lunatics…

      • Ezio

        Sargon’s arrogance level is off the charts.

        • TJ Barke

          It’s why I would really like to assault him. Smug piece of shit.

          • Ezio

            “Hyuck hyuck hyuck feminism! Amirite? And cultural Marxism! But don’t call me right wing because I’m totally a classical liberal!”

          • TJ Barke

            “I’m utterly unreasonable, but I’ma posture like the most logical fucker on the interwebs!”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      The fuck?

      • TJ Barke

        To say the least.

      • Ezio

        Nigel Farage is so patriotic he resigned immediately.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      “You poor fool! Wait til you see those goddamn bats!”

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Think there’s a Hunter Thompson amount of hallucinogens in that car?

        • Lori

          There were apparently Hunter Thompson amounts of hallucinogens in the person who drew it.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Could someone explain to me what the hell I’m looking at here? Pepe & 3 people whose identities I have no clue of, in a VW Thing, driving by a Mayan (?) temple in a desert. Wut?

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        The one with the “red pill” is Sargon of Akkadia (internet name) a big fish in the online world of fish brains.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Thanks!

      • Ezio

        I think one is Nigel Farage. The guy with the sunglasses and MAGA hat is maybe Milo? The other guy is the avatar used by an alt right youtubers named Sargon of Akkad who insists he’s totally liberal.

        • Turgid Love Skwerl

          I think the hat is Milo

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Thanks.

      • Ezio

        That is, Sargon insists he’s liberal even though all of his videos are about attacking feminists and Black Lives Matter calling it a terrorist organization. He thinks he’s intellectual but all I’ve ever seen him do is cackle like an idiot.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          So, uh, who is “Sargon,” and how is he associated with this meme? Answered below, thanks!

          • Doug Langley

            He wants to switch bodies with Captain Kirk so he can build android bodies, but haven’t a clue what that has to do with Black Lives Matter.

          • TJ Barke

            He’s a proto fascist idiot youtuber, that comes up with pseudo intellectual garbage to justify oppression and disenfranchisement.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Ezio

        Exactly

  • memzilla Ω

    True story: Roger Stone once jumped into an algae-covered pond, yet managed to come out of it only wet, instead of looking like a swamp monster. Turned out the pond scum wanted nothing to do with him.

  • btwbfdimho

    Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bMCCPubHhI

  • Paul Dietzel

    I get the impression that guys like Stone just keep watching the short sequence in All The President’s Men where Bernstein visits Segretti in his West Coast apartment – over and over – thinking what a cool guy Segretti was, chuckling about the “Nickel-and-dime stuff. Stuff. Stuff with a little wit attached to it.” I have friend (!) who is a minor local Repug operative who fancies himself a bit the same. I keep thinking, buddy, you couldn’t carry Don Segretti’s lunch bucket. Segretti, at least in the movie as played wonderfully by Robert Walden, knew that he’d fucked up and had some perspective and regret about it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The problem with that analysis is that Stone worked with Segretti at CREEP.

  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω
    • Ezio

      His mouth is a belly button?

      • Jamoche

        Small, round, puckered… yeah, we’ll go with “belly button”.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Somewhat farther down the alimentary canal, actually.

  • Wild Cat
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I came across this doc while bored and scanning through Netflix last night. I took a pass; the last thing I need right now is more grifting, Republican shitbags in my life. Plus the Tucker Carlson segment would likely have resulted in me needing a new teevee.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Tucker Carlson is what you get when Republicans get access to a government (or Koch-funded) laboratory and make their own Frankenstein’s monster version of Alex P. Keaton, because they were too stupid to realize he was supposed to be a parody of Young Republicans (like Bob Roberts and “Stephen Colbert”). And at least Alex was likeable and cute, even if his politics left something to be desired. Tucker is a preppy douche from a bad ’80s movie.

      Michael J. Fox himself, however, is one of those secret spies from the Soviet holdover communist dictatorship called “Canadiastan,” who’s appalled that his downstairs neighbor is willing to let people with Parkinson’s go bankrupt and die due to inability to afford their treatment. And is equally appalled that they won’t fund science which could lead to a cure, because they took “A tax is a big liberal monster” LITERALLY. Must be an “elitist” like Jimmy Kimmel.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The Jimmy Kimmel thing really put me over the edge. A fortunate man expressing empathy and compassion for the less fortunate is now fodder for outrage and contempt….this is what our fucking society has been reduced to. If we can’t change this around, we’re doomed.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I almost watched this Friday night, except I was only expecting to stay up another hour. So I turned on the goddamn SF-Cinci game, figuring that since it was tied in the 9th, it would be an exciting inning or two. When I woke up on the sofa at 2:30 in the goddamn morning, it was still going on, and later I saw that it ran to seventeen fucking innings. Which is awesome, and I’m not the least bit in favor of shortening baseball games, but still — I shoulda just gone to bed.

    • doktorzoom

      Reminds me of the time I went to grade papers at the U of Arizona library; as I was parking, the Dodgers and Expos were in a 0-0 tie in like the eighth inning. Hours later, got in the car and heard the end of the game, which ended up gong 22 innings (I think it was this game, at least)

  • lucidamente
  • William

    To all the Moms out there, Happy mothers day, and we really don’t say this enough. Thanks for not smothering us to death in our sleep. https://www.facebook.com/MomsBestFanPage/videos/10153702913182989/

    • MizzMazz

      Thank you for that. First time I laughed in a while, needed it. Now I gotta call my Son: “Where’s my present?”

    • grindstone

      Thanks for that. Sis texted me: “happy smothers day!” My guys took great care of me and I only got a half-dose of passive-aggressive from my MIL, so BIG WIN!

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Stone really stands out among the professional political vermin that see Trump as their big chance. I hope he goes down with him.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      That’s an insult to vermin everywhere.

    • Rick Hill

      I suppose it would be wrong to hope that the Russians want to silence him before he gives up some information(If it existd, that is)

  • Doug Langley

    You know you want to see this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbpUcfpbnrs

    • Duchess Gummybuns

      The righties are REALLY pissed about this skit, which essentially means SNL hit the nail on the head.

      One of those rubes posting actually said “How would people react to a skit about Obama being gay?”

      Are you fucking kidding me??!! The cover of The Enquirer for the past 8 years has been about Obama being gay and Michelle being a man!

      Funny how the precious little darlings can’t stomach the taste of their own medicine.

  • Master Contrail Program

    I see Roger’s taste in couture has only gotten more outlandish since the sixties. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e7488d2bef9335787220eba843513b4a82a97b9d93190f0d5f94f1f0f43977b6.jpg

    • Ezio

      FRANK GORSHIN LIBELZ! He had way more class than Roger Stone.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EAlfr7wsqcM

      • MizzMazz

        How did I never know this existed? Fantastic!

        • Ezio

          The original was from when he performed this on the Dean Martin show.

          • MizzMazz

            Thanks for sharing it. So much good way-out stuff from when I was a kid, and now we can see it on the you tubes.

        • tomamitai

          You had better things to do on weekend nights in the 70’s than listen to Doctor Demento? Or you are not an old?

  • Jamoche
    • Ezio

      Empathy because he was so unprepared!? Maybe he shouldn’t have taken the damn job in the first place then! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bcf992ca43229dbf63539538db9d61b4b026e3592eb1226e25d45af8445ff29d.gif

    • efoveks

      He chose not to prepare. Why the hell should I feel sorry for him or give him a break? All this “give him a break” , “give him a chance” crap because he’s new to politics is such a stupid fucking ask, it’s appalling.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        I regret that I have but one upvote to give.

      • miss_grundy

        He isn’t new to politics. His first run for the presidency was in 1987, but no one took him seriously. It is a shame that no one bothered to nail him to the wall for his seven bankruptcies, the 4000 lawsuits against him and all of the cheating he has done to spouses, mistresses, investors, employees, contractors and students of his fake university.

        • efoveks

          New to politics should be in quotes. I agree with you that the phrase, as applied to him, is disingenuous.

    • Lori

      I’m really impressed that she didn’t just reflexively punch that idiot in the head.

    • Ezio

      I mean if this guy can get elected President I never want to hear a potential employer ask me what my qualifications are for a job ever again.

    • DainBramage

      How about empathy for the army of libtards that told you over and over that he was unprepared and unsuited to be president?

    • Lyly Sirivong

      Nobody forced him to run for president.

    • Master Contrail Program

      By someone who bitched about Obama’s learning on the job and lack of experience a scant eight years ago, most likely.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      We have a new definition of chutzpah, people!

    • Lamashtar

      She has a toxic history, so it annoys me when I agree with her.

    • miss_grundy

      Then why did he run if he felt unprepared? Or, why did others kiss up to him and tell him to go ahead? Dolt 45 is a shallow man with a very limited level of intelligence. He has very little knowledge of anything whether it is casino operations or basic civics. But because he is a trust fund baby, he is under the impression that he should have anything that he wants because Daddy made sure he got it. Well, Bamz didn’t come by that gray hair naturally. He had to spend 4 to 5 hours a night reading white papers, memos, and reports that came out of every federal agency and his own staff. He probably stayed up nights trying to think his way through policy and how it would affect our country and our relationships with other countries around the world. Dolt 45 thinks that he is going to run the presidency the way he ran his company or the way he acted on his reality television show. And that is when he isn’t showboating to his fans.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – I’m going to take my Constitutional. Everypony – thank you. I was afraid Mother’s Day would be bad for me, but thanx to alls of you, I am smiling, happy, and enjoyed making a great meal.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6269e3abe55040ad63a78f3427025663fd761152338b0e98fb3bd3f0bd72aae.jpg

    Wonkette put the smile on my face. :) Laters!

    • Shanzgood

      Enjoy!

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Is that an AFV Club 10.5 cm LeFH 18 I spy over your shoulder?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Well spotted! :D I have that, and the LeFH 18M as well. Nice kits, I still need crews.

  • Rick Hill

    Who says Germans have no sense of humor?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aXq3959_460s.jpg

    • Ezio

      Trump Pez dispenser.

      • MizzMazz

        Dispensing candy nobody wants.

        • efoveks

          ROAD candy!

          • MizzMazz

            Is that like ABC gum?

        • Master Contrail Program

          Orange Pez is the worst flavor.

          • MizzMazz

            They all taste like Tums to me.

        • Ezio

          Trump has already tried his hand at Vodka. Why not enter the candy business too? Hershey won’t know what hit them.

          • MizzMazz

            Trump chocolate would taste like ex-lax. Hershey is bad enough.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Trump Chocolate would work like ex-lax.

          • efoveks

            Who knows? It may boost Hershey’s sales. But then Trump would take credit for that too.

          • Master Contrail Program

            We know they won’t be Smarties, even if they’re bland, chalky and the bane of any Halloween haul nonetheless.

          • Ezio

            Candy corn shares many similarities to Trump. It’s orange, white and yellow and it tastes awful.

          • HorseChestnut

            … because they won’t feel the impact.

    • tomamitai

      I always thought their sense of humor was dark and cruel, not absent.

    • Master Contrail Program
  • Darlene Underdahl

    …“sees morality as a synonym for weakness. That’s something that he’s always going to have contempt for.”
    Thanks Toobin, that describes sociopaths in a way I hadn’t heard, but it’s accurate.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • TJ Barke

      Uh no, Fareed, the GOP is a banana republic platform to support the ego appetites of every wealthy parasitic asshole in this country.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Get me Roger Stone.”

    Nobody said ever.

    • Ezio

      Maybe they meant Roger Stoned.

  • TundraGrifter

    “[Roger Stone] has also been accused of forging the documents about George W. Bush’s military shirking that brought down Dan Rather — a true shame, since the shirking was real and corroborated by other sources, even if the papers were fake.”

    I realize that’s the general consensus – conventional wisdom, if you will – but I’m not convinced it is factually correct. That the papers were fake. It’s all too much Obama-Long-Form-Birth-Certificate-Photoshopped for me.

    • mancityRed6

      it is funny peculiar that they questioned Obama’s real birth certificate more than they questioned W’s service documents.

  • Edith Prickly
    • mancityRed6

      “my guy looks like he drives a cartoon donkey cart with a cage full of missing children on the back”

      • Edith Prickly

        “this guy is under observation because they’re still convinced he’s jack the ripper”

    • mancityRed6

      jeebus, those tweets are the best ab workout I’ve gotten in months

      • Edith Prickly

        Right? Fucking GOLD.

        “dude looks like a count olaf disguise”

    • Thiazin Red

      “my boy looks like willy wonka if it took place during the industrial revolution and all the kids just straight up died”

      Very funny, but also too real.

  • Mary Sandoras

    New thread is up.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    It all goes back to fucking Nixon with these people, doesn’t it? Take Russia out of the equation for a second, shouldn’t there be an investigation into this administration’s connection to Richard Nixon’s corpse? Seriously!

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Stone acts like somebody who has diminished frontal lobes. Looking at the shape of his head, he probably does have diminished frontal lobes.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Yeah, them lobes don’t compress well!

        • puredog

          PINHEAD LIBULZ!!!

      • pianoplayer1

        The back of his head is flat. His mother did not give him enough “tummy time” when he was an infant. Plus, he is rumored to be gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) and a sociopath.

        • FlownΩver

          I think we can drop the “rumored” qualifier for part of that. He’s proudly a fucking sociopath, like those whose balls he lives to lave.

        • Three Finger Salute

          It’s wrong if you’re self-loathing enough to work overtime to actively disenfranchise other members of your community by electing proto-fascists, as an elaborate method of murder-suicide. If he is, in fact, gay, then Roger Stone is basically Milo Yiannopoulos in about 50 years.

        • Red Bird Ω

          It’s wrong if you pander to those who would hate you if you were.

    • Bubo Sibiricus

      Take the hair on the top of his head, shave most of it off except for a lock and tie a bow around it (the lock, not his head) and you have Zippy’s skull.

      Zippy’s head isn’t filled with excrement, however.

      Yow. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2004a3ac5962d4617d5a2eb23155cd5c8490fe164058d6f2c2dbd82872602faf.jpg

      • anomie

        Stone does have a strikingly weird-shaped head; it’s especially noticeable in profile, like an elongated hydrocephalic baby head.

        I know I know, I’m just being catty.

        • Wee Mousie

          Or it might indicate that phrenologists were actually onto something..

  • Bitter Scribe

    Who gets a tattoo of Richard fucking Nixon? AFTER he resigned??

  • mancityRed6

    “I revel in your hatred, because if I weren’t effective, you wouldn’t hate me.”
    Meh, I don’t hate him. I don’t hate…well, anyone, really. That’s just an expenditure of energy and time that I can’t afford to do.
    And, even if it brings with it the most soul blistering rage along the lines of dinnertime telemarketers, the absurd length of “microwave minutes”, or those hard plastic cases you can’t get open without a chainsaw, you’re still thinking about them.
    Love ’em or hate ’em, if you’re thinking of them at all…they’ve won.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah – “hatred” is for worthier shitbags than Stone. The operative word is “despise”. Not sure he’d revel in that.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
    • Thiazin Red

      That movie confirmed to me that having kids is something I never want to do. its also a damn shame that horror movies are looked down on when it comes to awards because Essie Davis gave a great performance.

      • It wasn’t always so. The Exorcist was nominated for all the things in the 70s. It is still considered the gold standard for sound mixing in film, no matter what the genre.

    • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Wee Mousie

      Why does Stone’s photo remind me so strongly of a stock villain on the cover of a steampunk novel?

  • Grokenstein

    Capsule version: You know Eric Cartman? That’s basically Roger Stone as a child.

  • bumfug

    I don’t know about Oswald Cobblepot, to me that picture looks more like Chance the gardener wearing Dr. Strangelove’s glasses.

  • Fartknocker

    While Roger, in my opinion, is a prick without a soul, I will remind him that unlike his friend POTUS Dampnut, Nixon didn’t violate the Emolument clause in the COTUS:

    “I made my mistakes. But in all of my years of public life, I have never profited – never profited from public service. I’ve earned every cent. And in all of my years of public life, I have never obstructed justice. And I think, too, that I can say, that in my years of public life, that I welcome this kind of examination because people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook. I’ve earned everything I’ve got.”
    —Richard Nixon

    • Brendan_M

      Well, if Richard Nixon is vouching for Richard Nixon’s integrity, that’s good enough for me. The suitcases of secret cash he was given must have all been used for completely proper purposes.

      • Yr. Gma

        He bought Pat Nixon a cloth coat.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And then he watched Deep Throat over and over until he got it down Pat.

          • mtn_socialist

            Dick Nixon! Now More Than Ever!

          • honeywest

            Tan! Rested! Ready!

        • mtn_socialist

          A good, Republican cloth coat, as I recall. Remember when GOPers were proud to be middle class? Or was that all just an acid flashback?

  • BrendaKay

    If I may ponder this… “Too bad Roger Stone’s brand of politics — which he didn’t invent, sorry —
    are already proving to be far more effective at winning an election
    than running a country.”
    The next question becomes, do enough people actually pay attention to how they are running the country for this to hurt them? Those of us who knew fear, hatred, and division were a bad idea didn’t vote for them in the first place. Those that voted for them seem to still support them. We are still left with the issue of how do we convince them to vote for better people? And maybe even more importantly, where do we find these better people & how do we convince to run for office?

    • miss_grundy

      I doubt that you can convince the Trumpsters to vote for better people. These people have dark, hateful hearts and even if they secretly repent their vote they will never openly disavow it. They would rather look stupid than admit the truth.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Did they really not talk about Stone taking out Eliot Spitzer?

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, they did. I already wrote entirely too long a review, though. Filmmakers ask Stone if it isn’t awfully convenient he just happened to meeta hooker in a sex club who just happened to have been with Spitzer, a politician he can’t stand, to which Stone says, “There are skeptics everywhere.”

      Also, Toobin says Stone “understands the dark heart of the media even better than we understand ourselves sometimes. Because if he tells us Eliot Spitzer was wearing black socks when he had sex, he knew that would be irresistible, even if it had absolutely nothing to do with the truth at all.”

      (yes, It took three hours to watch a 90-minute movie because I kept stopping to take notes on my laptop)

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This guy gives pinheads a bad name…

    • Vienna Woods

      Not to mention swingers.

  • Begin Anew Day

    This guy? Phooey!

    The REAL players were Chuck Colson, Lee Atwater and Carl Rove.

    This guy? P-O-S-E-U-R.

    • honeywest

      Colson repented and of course is a Jezuz Crispie now. Lee Atwater was SMOTE by his ugliness, and Rove perhaps will crash and burn, too. Stone still thinks he’s young and doesn’t see the EWW factor we all see.

      • Begin Anew Day

        Roger claims he is being poisoned by nefarious government forces trying to “stop” him. (From doing whatever it is he does)

        But all he has is a toxic shock skin condition brought about by keeping bad company.

  • HorseChestnut

    It makes me obscenely angry to see him wearing japa mala bracelets (first picture). Good reminder that outward signifiers of faith do not make one faithful.

  • I noticed this on Netflix last night, but I didn’t feel like watching something that would make me throw my television out the window in a fit of rage. Not being John Bonham, I can’t afford to do that sort of thing even if, as in this case, the activity would be perfectly understandable..

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    OT: Let’s hope the underlying information in Palmer’s article is accurate. I so NEED to wake up Monday morning with this as a blaring headline: (indictments on Trump, Manafort & Flynn)

    http://www.palmerreport.com/politics/report-sealed-indictments-issued-against-donald-trump-paul-manafort-and-michael-flynn/2817/

    • Lamashtar

      Wikipedia says:

      “Because prosecutors informed the grand jury that the Constitution likely prohibited the indictment of an incumbent president, with impeachment thus the only recourse, the jurors recommended that materials making a criminal case against President Nixon be turned over to the House Judiciary Committee.[36] The grand jury in fact named Nixon as an “unindicted co-conspirator” in a sealed addendum to their indictments of Nixon’s aides; news of this March 1 action was not revealed to the public until a June 6 report in the Los Angeles Times.[37]”

      AHAHAHA so we may have to wait until June or July ::sobbing::

      • Red Bird Ω

        Middle of June.

    • Incoming Ham

      Pence, Ryan and Yertle need to go for knowingly aiding and abetting.

    • doktorzoom

      Palmer Report is the Infowars of the left.

      http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/036/798/b0a.jpg

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        I normally try to avoid alt-anything in terms of the interwebs. But damn Dok, can’t a girl have hope?!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    éminence greasy wins the internets for the day!

  • in the name of the moon

    i can’t think of Alex Jones anymore without hearing “chemtrails whoo ooo ooo” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wdCFz8qPt8Y

    • Zhevra

      I’m marrying that you tube video.

  • I would prefer ‘Get Me The Head Of Roger Stone’ but Sam Peckinpah is no longer with us.

  • Ralph Gauer

    I am not sure I have enough “Eeewwww” left for 3.5 more years of this shit.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    About the Nixon tattoo, Stone likes to joke that he’s the only man with two dicks, while I’ve always thought he’s better described as the man with an asshole between his shoulder blades.

  • mfp

    “See, he really is a master of realpolitik”…maybe…but what he definitely is, is a fucking sociopath…our govts are filthy with them at every level, and 1/2 of the voters in this country need to get a lot better at ID-ing them and getting them out of our public lives and back to the giant corporations where they belong–they’re ruining EVERYTHING

    it aint rocket surgery, people–99% of them have an (R) after their name

  • richardgrabman

    Managing to come up with “éminence greasy” deserves a Pulitzer.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    …so, this review was quite an interesting read, and you should do more of them.
    Also, “all the commenters secretly agree with him” made me LOL.

  • Spurning Beer

    This is a personal ad Stone (eventually) admitted he and his wife placed in 1996:

    We are hot, athletic and very fit. We are seeking similar couples or exceptional muscular, well hung, single men. She’s 40DD-24-36 and bi. She loves to f**k hard and deep. He’s 195 lbs., trim, muscular and 8″ +. She prefers jocks, military men, and body builders. No fat people or smokers need respond. Send photo and phone. No photo, no response! We are interested in DC, VA, MD, NYC, Miami, and LA.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      “We are hot”

      starting with a lie is always a good sign.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    That picture on top looks like Jeffrey Tambor in some deleted scene from Arrested Development.

  • ken_kukec

    Roger Stone is like a minor character out of James Ellroy’s Underworld USA trilogy — a kinky fixer in a loud bespoke suit, always on the fringes when a dirty deal is going down between the government, the mob, the intelligence community, or foreign agents.

    I could see him scoring dope for Howard Hughes, pimping out Vegas showgirls, being Nixon’s bag man, and hanging out at Jack Ruby’s Carousel Club.

    • honeywest

      Perfect.

  • Somecallmetim

    It’s a good article. I want to see it but, do any of the proceeds go to Stone?

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, god no. It’s about him, not by him. And it’s on Netflix, so if you have Netflix, no extra charge to watch.

  • Scooby

    He’s got a tattoo of Agnew on his left cheek and Ford on his right one.

    • He’s got one of Trump on his scrot.
      Read it on the internet

      • Scooby

        How does he do the hair?

        • ahughes798

          Very carefully. That comb-over won’t be easy.

        • SayItWithWookies

          It’s freakish — it looks like it was originally straw-colored, all woven in at the front, and dyed platinum blonde. I guess a swinger’s gotta stay looking young (no offense to all the swingers out there — Stone is gross enough on his own without defiling your lifestyle of choice).

    • SeeTrain65
  • So basically Stone is the dipshit third rate stool shoveler that the mob boss will leave to the Feds when the whole thing comes crashing down

    • mfp

      basically, jack ruby?

  • Zyxomma

    I don’t have Netflix, and won’t borrow the DVD from the library when it comes out, so I’m not even watching the trailer. Thanks, Dok, but the reality of what Stone et al. have wrought is horrific enough for me.

  • Poly_Ester

    Roger Stone – “A legend in his own mind” sums it up for me.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Excellent post Dok. Everything I need to know about Roger Stone is that he has a tattoo of Nixon on his back.

    It’s like the guy who drives around in his wanna-be monster truck flying a Trump flag from the back and after getting over the knee-jerk response to throw up a middle-finger in reply, you wonder how sad is that guy’s life that he has to drive around with a Trump flag hanging from the back of his truck to make him feel important?

    That’s kinda how I feel about Roger Stone.

    • HooverVilles

      It seems that Roger Stone’s role in the anti Hillary PAC titled Citizens United Not Timid is missing.

  • Shibusa

    Roger Stone’s hair wouldn’t look any more phony if it came with a chin strap.

  • mailman27

    It’s difficult (for me, at least) to come to grips with the fact that the quote from Trump is also too a quote from the president* of the United States. This is how our president* speaks. This is what he thinks is important. Seventh grade language skills expressing third grade concerns. I’m worried.

    • Poly_Ester

      I am beginning to realize that what Trump says is of no importance. Read the transcript of the Economist interview of Trump on “economics,” word salad. Mnuchin had a chance to comment at the end of each Trump response. He was simply banal. Trump is the puppet of his owners.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Just finished watching it. Meh. If this country weren’t so steeped in racism he wouldn’t be able to succeed.

    • anomie

      Racism, covert and overt, are definitely part of it. But it all falls under the category of this sense of lost privilege — lost to women, lost to black and brown people, lost to gay people, the list goes on. Much of middle America just truly does not get the new paradigm.

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    I must deeply object to the damage done to the English language by this here “Enemy of the People”. The rampant neologisms threaten to bury all we hold dear. “Prissive-aggressive?” I’m totally stealing that (in order to hide it from the light of day). “Angerwhine?” Ditto. Thankfully, “hoofwanking bunglecunt” did not originate here, or else it would be pitchforks & rioting all the way down.

    • helenwiells

      Ha…hoofwanking bunglecunt… I love you 😘

  • puredog

    I also just finished watching it. It will confirm your deepest skepticism and despair. If you are not wanting that, you might want to give it a pass. (Although Stone is kind of a riveting figure; I did enjoy him making kissy-face with his dog.)

  • Shane

    To quote a gay friend the first time he saw Don Cherry on “Coaches Corner”: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/97c4ebdb850dec42621dca17799a2be4eed7a75bfbaddd672cf8084304904238.png “Who’s that old queen?”

  • motmelere

    Oh shit, that’s not Mike Pence in the trailer! These guys take a uniform way too seriously.

  • anomie

    I watched Get Me Roger Stone on Friday, assuming I would hate it. But it was fascinating. Dok’s summary and analysis are spot on.

    Reliving Election Night 2016 so viscerally again was rough, but I’d definitely recommend this documentary. Such a direct and terrifying window into Trump’s psyche.

    • Millswiththethrills

      I agree it was hard to relive election night, but I noticed the filmmaker didn’t drag it out either. If he had, I was ready to turn it off.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Okay, just finished watching this. First impression: altogether too nice to Roger Stone. At least, the folks who commented about him for the film were too nice — probably because he comes off as a vicious prick who’d ruin the life of a school crossing guard who yelled at his kid for jaywalking.

    Other point is that the most illustrative section of his career was when he allegedly destroyed the credibility of the Reform Party in 2000 — by first persuading Pat Buchanan to run as a candidate on its ticket, then drafting Trump to run against him, calling him a Nazi and a racist. So — Stone will go to great lengths to destroy his opponents. As far, in fact, as setting up warring factions among them, and influencing them to fight against each other and destroy one another’s credibility. Let’s give that some thought before we fight amongst ourselves over something trivial.

  • None of y’all is going to get ypur Siskel and Ebert on for Risk?

  • Leilanijregister

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    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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  • HooverVilles

    Don’t forget Roger Stone’s role in the PAC titled Citizens United Not Timid.

  • SeeTrain65

    To be honest, the tattoo artist could have drawn a dirty, sagging scrotum on his back with the message “Tell him it’s Nixon” underneath and he’d never know the difference.

    • Longstreet63

      Sure, but the tattoo artist probably couldn’t think of anything worse than a Nixon tattoo.

  • It’s like Trump’s parents threw a RUIN AMERICA party…
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/yoJC2GnSClbPOkV0eA/giphy.gif

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    We should all talk about Roger Stone, and his documentary, to make trump jealous of his fame.

  • honeywest

    Would rather see a long documentary on Patsy Stone. I couldn’t watch this past 15 minutes. Thanks for doing it for us.

  • Swampay

    It’s really starting to bug me how much #45 obsesses over his “ratings”.

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