It is no secret Donald Trump has had a rather fraught relationship with the press. Sometimes it takes him a while to settle on which lie he’s going with, but in the meantime, the press goes and reports on lies Trump or his press secretary told earlier — or something his staff thought they’d agreed was the official lie. But in his own mind, he’d already moved on from that earlier lie, so Trump gets mad that nobody’s keeping up. Thus, on Friday, he took to Twitter and hinted he might rid himself of those troublesome press briefings entirely:
He doubled down on this later in the day in an interview on Fox, reports The New York Times:
The firestorm touched off by the Comey firing has only reinforced the lesson Mr. Trump has usually taken away from past crises, that only one person was truly capable of defending him: the man in the mirror. It would be a “good idea” to end the daily news briefing, he told a Fox News host on Friday, suggesting that he was considering hosting his own news conferences every two weeks or so.
This is, of course, a completely horrifying idea. As we all know, one of the first priorities of all terrible dictators is controlling the press.
Guess who thinks this is actually a FABULOUS idea? Newt Gingrich! You know, the guy who also thinks child labor is a swell idea. He is so excited about it that he practically erupted into a gigglefit on Hannity last night, just thinking about it:
Gingrich even has an idea for what they should do instead. Rather than taking questions from seasoned reporters well-versed in the topics of the day, they could solicit questions from everyday Americans, then just pick the five best ones to answer. That way, instead of being directly questioned on things like the reasoning behind the Comey firing, they can field questions like these!
“Isn’t it great how Donald Trump is so super great?”
“How does Donald Trump stay so good looking?”
“What is Donald’s secret to having such big hands?”
“How does President Trump deal with the stress of a fake news media that is SO UNFAIR to him? Bubble baths?”
The really sad thing here is that Trump would probably end up giving incredibly stupid answers to those questions as well:
How would you say you’ve made America Greater this week?
You know, nobody thought I could win. But I won a huge victory in the electoral college. You can’t trust anything the lying media say. Russia is a ruse. It’s a ruse. And did you see what a crybaby Chuck Schumer is? What a phony!
But Newt and Hannity are very excited about the prospect of Donald Trump ending all White House Press Briefings — giving all those mean journalists just what they deserve for being so mean to poor Donald Trump! Ha! They will be so sorry they did not write more stories about how Trump is the most handsome and manly man in the world now! Or use their psychic powers to guess what story he was going to settle on three days before he settled on it! Why should they have to hang with people who “despise” them anyway? UNFAIR!
Gingrich also suggested — because he is so generous of heart — that he and Hannity could offer to pay for coffee and donuts at Starbucks for the journalists who, L-O-L, will now be sad and unemployed.
Even Gingrich admitted to the New York Times that it’s basically impossible for anyone to conduct Donald Trump’s press briefings because Trump doesn’t tell anyone what is going on:
The president, said Newt Gingrich, the former House speaker, “resembles a quarterback who doesn’t call a huddle and gets ahead of his offensive line so nobody can block him and defend him because nobody knows what the play is.”
If Trump’s own team has no idea what it is he is doing, how the hell is the press supposed to know? It seems like what Team Trump wants is for the press to just independently come up with excuses and explanations for Trump’s actions and tweets that show him in the most positive and complimentary light possible. Which is not exactly their job.