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So now that he’s got that fake Russia story all put to bed, Donald Trump is finally ready to take on the REAL scandal of the 2016 election: all those illegal aliens who voted for Hillary Clinton and fraudulently denied him a popular vote landslide to go along with his incredible record-setting electoral landslide. (After which lots of illegals snuck off to Washington on January 20 to kidnap people on their way to the Mall for Trump’s inauguration.) Yes, Thursday Trump signed an executive order establishing a bipartisan commission to investigate voter fraud and intimidation, and to recommend new ways of improving the latter. And what a cast of excellent voting experts it’ll have:

[Administration] officials say Vice President Mike Pence and Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach will be announced as Chair and Vice Chair of the “Presidential Commission on Election Integrity” in a press release today […]

The commission, which will include Republicans and Democrats, will be tasked with studying “vulnerabilities” in U.S. voting systems and potential effects on “improper voting, fraudulent voter registrations and fraudulent voting,” according to one official with knowledge of the announcement.

This wasn’t one of those big public EO signings; it was instead one of those closed-door things we only know happened because it was announced at the daily press briefing.

The exact membership of the commission hasn’t yet been determined, but the really important thing is that it’ll go forward under the loving attentions of two guys who love them some voter suppression. Most decent people already loathe Mike Pence for his terrible anti-gay law or his anti-abortion policies, which are excellent reasons to loathe him, but don’t forget he’s also dabbled in vote suppression, too: In 2016 Indiana state police shut down the offices of the Indiana Voter Registration Project, seizing their records, shutting down their registration drive, and seizing thousands of voter registrations, all in the name of fighting voter fraud. But they did find ten registration forms suspected of being fraudulent, so the operation was clearly worth it.

Then there’s vice chair Kris Kobach, who when he’s not co-chairing presidential commissions, attending rightwing conferences on voter fraud, or going to other states and writing unconstitutional “papers please” immigration laws, can sometimes be found in Kansas, where he occasionally serves as Secretary of State. Or as the job came to be known under Kobach’s tenure, “the defendant in another voting rights case.” Every American should know the name of Kris Kobach, and every American should say it with the sort of venomous distaste with which one says “Nixon,” “Lester Maddox,” or “canned clams.” The guy has made a living from one simple premise: Voting should be very difficult, lest too many of the wrong people (Democrats) vote. Along with gerrymandering, suppressing the Democratic vote is a vital part of Republican strategy to remain in power despite demographic changes that should favor Democrats. And nobody’s a bigger name in voter suppression than Kris Kobach, although he of course sees himself as an expert on preventing “voter fraud.” If you don’t already recoil at the name, go read this New Yorker profile on the man and his career, then spend some quality time petting a friendly dog or cat to help you feel human again. Be glad and rejoice, too, that nothing came of the rumors Kobach might be nominated to head the Department of Homeland Security, which oversees the nation’s immigration system.

Kobach is also the genius who came up with the horribly flawed “Interstate Voter Registration Crosscheck Program,” a system adopted by many Republican secretaries of state to help them weed out potential voting fraudsters — if by fraudsters you mean people who are more likely to be black, Latino, young, poor, in college, or in other demographic groups likely to vote Democratic. Rolling Stone wrote a chilling piece about Crosscheck last summer before the election, one of those investigative pieces you should keep bookmarked to throw at anyone who starts yammering about voter fraud. Crosscheck is supposed to identify and weed out voters registered in two places, but is just as likely to find two separate people who have the same first and last names, and sometimes the same birth date, but are very definitely not the same human being:

We found that one-fourth of the names on the list actually lacked a middle-name match. The system can also mistakenly identify fathers and sons as the same voter, ignoring designations of Jr. and Sr. A whole lot of people named “James Brown” are suspected of voting or registering twice, 357 of them in Georgia alone. But according to Crosscheck, James Willie Brown is supposed to be the same voter as James Arthur Brown. James Clifford Brown is allegedly the same voter as James Lynn Brown.

The checks for middle names, birth dates, and last four digits of Social Security numbers may or may not actually be followed before someone’s purged from the rolls. Also, here’s a heck of a surprise: members of minority groups

are overrepresented in 85 of 100 of the most common last names. If your name is Washington, there’s an 89 percent chance you’re African-American. If your last name is Hernandez, there’s a 94 percent chance you’re Hispanic. If your name is Kim, there’s a 95 percent chance you’re Asian.

Hooray, more potential false positives! Once the system identifies a possible double-registered voter, states send out a postcard, and the voter has to mail it back to the secretary of state’s office. If they don’t return the postcard, the process of kicking them off the voter rolls starts. Not surprisingly, since younger and poorer people are more likely to rent than own, and generally less likely to return the cards, the return rate among homeowning Republicans is a lot higher, so the system results in more likely Democratic voters being removed from voter rolls. We’ve told you in previous pieces on Kobach to go read the whole infuriating Rolling Stone piece, and that mandatory reading assignment stands.

Thursday’s executive order fulfills the very important promise Trump made, after the election, to investigate ALL THE VOTER FRAUD, including all those terrible people who are registered to vote in two states, like several members of Trump’s family and staff. And also dead people, who tend to be on voter rolls because few people make “calling the county registrar” part of their bereavement to-do list. We’ll assume someone explained to him that being registered in two places isn’t a criminal offense, although actually voting in both is — and is also very rare, as is voting by dead people outside of rightwing political cartoons, where it truly is at epidemic proportions.

The commission is also allegedly supposed to attract Democratic support by offering lip service to the idea that voter suppression exists, at least before it recommends a whole bunch of wonderful NEW measures to make voting more difficult. With these Trump people, it’s always something.

Also, for some fascinating extra-credit reading, we recommend this piece at FiveThirtyEight, which traces how one statistically flawed study became the basis for Republicans’ massive freakout over supposed voter fraud. It’s a fascinating history of a real study whose author originally intended to explain why some naturalized citizens don’t vote, but then tried to nail down how many noncitizens may cast illegal ballots. Along the way, a simple error in data analysis resulted in invalid conclusions which morphed into a political talking point for Wingnut America. Good stuff, and it’ll probably leave you saying “Huh! That’s interesting!” more than grinding your teeth.

Yr Wonkette is one hundred percent supported by You, the Reader! Please click the “Donate” clicky below to help us out.

[ABC News / Politico / The Nation / Rolling Stone / FiveThirtyEight]

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  • memzilla Ω
  • HorseChestnut

    OT: I just got a fundraising email from Mother Jones, and I think it’s time to throw them some Ameros (if you have any left over from buying whore trinkets for Wonkette). They’re going all in on the Russia shit, because gawd knows Congress ain’t gonna.

    http://www.motherjones.com/media/2017/05/facts-trump-russia

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      MoJo and Wonkette get all of my media bucks these days.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • BadKitty904

    And how much will this vanity voter-suppression effort cost the taxpayers?

    • HorseChestnut

      A whole fucking country.

      • BadKitty904

        That’s certainly the Russo/Republican goal. And must never forget it.

  • exinkwretch

    Our valiant Republican leaders will not rest until all elections are as pure and white as the driven snow!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Especially the “white” part.

  • h4rr4r

    The solution here is to get younger poorer folks to pay attention and maybe just maybe start voting.

  • Shibusa

    The biggest “vulnerability” in U.S. voting systems are Republican voter suppression efforts.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    A guy who’s been sued four times for voter suppression is going to head up “voter integrity”. Because if you’re gonna be corrupt, be brazen and corrupt.

    • BadKitty904

      Brazen, and Corrupt” is pretty much the Republican Party motto.

      • Stulexington

        I thought it was “double down and keep doubling down until it starts working.”

        • PubOption

          Like the 17% tax in Mexico?

        • BadKitty904

          You’re thinking of the definition of “insanity”. So, yeah, 6-o-1…

  • schmannity

    This commission is going to be a letdown for Storm Trumpers. How can it be whiter or maler than the Senate AHCA committee?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Pence counts double for whiteness.

  • President Obama put VP Biden in charge of a task force to streamline and expedite cancer research.

    Trump puts VP Pence in charge of a task force to streamline and expedite voter restrictions on people of color and diverse ethnic backgrounds.

    If you can’t beat them with ideas, beat them with…… well, just beat them.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      They haven’t been able to win a fair fight for years. It’s cheat or die these days for Rethugs, and they have proven very adept at cheating.

    • Wasn’t that the line of William H Parker?

      • …had to the google Parker and it sounds about right.

        Fun fact uncovered whilst the googling: Bruce Dern played Parker in the ’96 release of “Mulholland Falls”

  • Simple solution…

    Hire the census workers early. Use them as mobile clerks to issue National ID card forms to all Americans, take photos, and then mail them all out free of charge to every American.

    And while they’re at it, have them offer to also perform voter registration if the person wants it. Create a national db of voters.

    Make Election Day a paid mandatory holiday, except for mass transit workers, who would have the entire week before the election to go to a polling place and vote. Also mandate that mass transit would be free on election day and reimburse states and cities for the lost fares.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Stop talking sense!

    • PubOption

      Missouri Repubs are still complaining about REAL ID being government overreach. Your suggestion might start a revolution (if they weren’t all talk and no action).

      • Oh, I know it would be the inbred, stupid, redneck, neo-Confederate motherfuckers who would object and probably threaten to shoot the census worker bringing them the forms.

        I guess they won’t get to vote in elections then. Too bad, so sad.

        This isn’t 1817, we’re all goddamned Americans now, not Californians or Virginians or Texans or Backwaterstanians.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          A friend worked as a census taker in West Virginia. He’d go down in the holler to check in with people. They’d point down the road and say, “Don’t go that way. If you do, you won’t come back.”

    • Stulexington

      You say that like the point is to prevent voter fraud instead of cause voter suppression. Next you’ll suggest we stop welfare fraud by improving enforcement instead of making the poors jump through hoops.

    • willi0000000

      fine . . . just don’t mail them out . . . hand-carry like when you gathered all the information and photos . . . otherwise some won’t get their cards because they live under bridges or on subway grates.

  • memzilla Ω

    C’mon, Dok, it’s not voter suppression, it’s Voter Enhancement. It protects the right to vote! #ironyisdead

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    I think, as part of our next protest, we should start flinging two scoops of ice cream at the assholes who continue to go along with this shit demon.

    Kris Kobach – 2 scoops
    Mike Pence – 2 scoops, a gallon at a time
    Paul Ryan, 2 scoops, still in the cow

    Just sayin’.

    • msanthropesmr

      Waste of perfectly good ice cream if you ask me.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        They got any of that Blue Bell stuff that was contaminated with listeria?

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Venezuelans have the right idea:

      World news in pictures

       

      16/49 9 May 2017

      Messages are seen on plastic containers filled with faeces, called ‘Poopootovs’, which is a play on Molotov cocktails, before they are thrown at security forces during protests, in addition to the usual rocks and petrol bombs, in Caracas, Venezuela. The messages read, ‘Freedom’, ‘Free Venezuela’, ‘For the future’, ‘For Venezuela’, ‘This is you’, ‘For the political prisoners’, ‘Murderers’, ‘GNB you are this’ and ‘For our children’

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This is disgraceful. Stolen democracy banana republic death spiral.

    But hey, at least the Russians will have all the votes they want.

  • wait! what?

    John Candy would have made an excellent Donald Trump in an SNL skit.

  • memzilla Ω
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The solution to voter fraud is obvious. No more voting.

    ~The GOP

  • Oblios_Cap

    It would be nice if the Repubs actually tried to solve some problems that existed for a change.

    • snark-lurker

      “We don’t solve problems, we create them.”

      –(R)

  • Bill D. Burger

    It’s Working! ___ MAGA…Trump Style.

    http://www.cogwriter.com/Trumpocalypse.jpg

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    In other news: Special Agent Fox assigned to investigate henhouse break-ins.

  • Oh well, I always HATED that typical ten minute wait I had at the polls right around the corner and those old poll-worker ladies were SO nosy.

  • DrBigHead

    This is truly terrifying.

  • If you vote in the following States you will be investigated for voter fraud
    California, New York Washington, New Hampshire

    Be aware that voter fraud is a felony and those suspected of a felony have no right to vote

    If found guilty the penalty is 10 tears in a Federal Penitentiary and deportation

    • DrBigHead

      Do we get to choose where we are deported to? If so, I choose Tuscany,

      • I choose Iceland.

        Protected by goddam VOLCANOES, man. VOLCANOES!

        • DrBigHead

          Yeah, but have you seen what they eat there? Rotten shark! I prefer a nice bowl of Ribolita.

        • wait! what?

          Aoshima Island. When I die, they’ll just eat me.

          https://youtu.be/rHLLDOyZepY

      • TakingAmes

        They can’t deport me. My family has been here for 500 years. I can deport most of these motherfuckers my damn self!

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      I have shed more tears then that since the election…..

      • “Two tears in a bucket. Motherfuck it.”
        -The Lady Chablis WHO I USED TO SEE AT THE KROGERS AND SHE’D SAY “HEY, HONEY!” TO ME FOR REALS!

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          She was very cool. Ad libbed her scenes in “Midnight”

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          LUCKY!!

    • BosGrl

      Well, considering NH is like 93% non-Hispanic white, there won’t be too many people purged off the rolls there.

  • Ricky Gay

    I miss public floggings. We need to bring those Kobach.

    • Oblios_Cap

      We need the return of Debtors’ Prisons to teach those malcontents to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, by gum.

    • Jgb979

      If ever there was a name to be publically equated with a disgusting sex act…

      (Now that Santorum has gone into hiding)

      • wait! what?

        It’s tpugh to hide Santorum. It always oozes out when you least expect it to.

      • HogeyeGrex

        I seem to remember that santorum was decided upon by a vote between several alternatives. Anyone remember what the other contenders were?

  • memzilla Ω
    • TJ Barke

      Hmm, I wonder if his not at all conflicting interest in for profit prisons influenced his decision…

    • BosGrl

      Private-prison lobbyists have been complaining, apparently.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Ah, this must be the diversion and red meat for the base – GIT TOUGH ON CRIME!!! GRR PUNISH THE DRUGGIES!

      • iceweasels

        The base are imbeciles. The police and correction officers, on the other hand, are going to be furious.

      • Ricky Gay

        Start with the methbillies, that ought to rile the base!

        • wait! what?

          It’s methWilliam, thank you kindly…

      • “GO GIT THEM DAM MARY-WANNA PUFFIN’ HIPPIES! They’ve been cuttin’ into my meth and Oxycontin money, anyway.”

    • Spurning Beer

      You know, when Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is sentenced to Federal prison for treason and obstruction of justice, he’s going to wish that the prison weren’t so overcrowded.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Coming soon from the geniuses at Republican Trumpland:

    Poll Taxes
    Literacy Tests
    Good-character tests
    Grandfather clause
    Residency requirements

    They’ve only just started to “improve & protect” our cherished voting rights.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Chadwells

      Even his fuckwit lawyers aren’t dumb enough to lie 100%….just enough to cover their asses.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Also income doesn’t cover financing.

        • Chadwells

          That too.

    • …with few exceptions?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        He also doesn’t sexually assault women, with few exceptions.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m a fucking rock star, with few exceptions.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t eat people. With few exceptions.

  • Jgb979

    “a simple error in data analysis resulted in invalid conclusions which morphed into a political talking point for Wingnut America”

    Honestly surprised they bothered with the data analysis since the conclusion was predetermined to begin with…

    2018 is going to be a shit show

  • HogeyeGrex

    Kris fucking Kobach.
    “Commission on Election Integrity”

    Y’know, when I made the comment the other day about Trump finding the replacement for Comey out of the Ten Most Wanted list, I was joking.

  • TJ Barke

    Outlaw the republican party. They clearly resent all American institutions and harbor seditious intent.

    • snark-lurker

      if only… hey! germany outlawed the nazi party. humm…

      • TJ Barke

        Modern republicans are clearly the current form of the confederacy.

    • Parakeetist

      Dingdingding, we have a winner!

    • Painter of Goats

      But, but, but they love American flags and anthems!

  • Ricky Gay

    Republicans have never found a problem they couldn’t create!

  • Proud Liberal

    It appears the United State has undergone a soft coup. WE ARE IN DEEP TROUBLE PEOPLE.

    • Joe Beese

      Remember: It’s not fascism unless they’re speaking Italian.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Yup! and Surprise! ___ And it’s only going to get a LOT worse under the new commission headed up by Kris Kobach and sanctioned by Cheetolini:

    [Study: Voter ID laws may have blocked 200,000 voters in one state from 2016 election
    May 11th 2017 5:10PM

    A new study by the liberal group Priorities USA has found that Wisconsin’s tightened voter ID laws may have kept 200,000 mostly Democratic and African-American votes out of the 2016 presidential election.

    It goes on to say, “If turnout had instead increased by the national-no-change average, we estimate that over 200,000 more voters would have voted in Wisconsin in 2016. For context, [Hillary] Clinton lost to [Donald] Trump in Wisconsin by only 20,000 votes.”]

    https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/05/11/study-voter-id-laws-may-have-blocked-200-000-voters-in-one-stat/22082266/

    • Rick Hill

      They gotta go with what works

      • Painter of Goats

        It’s much easier than coming up with legislation that actually benefits your constituents so they will vote for you again.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    “Presidential Commission on Election Integrity”

    That just made me burst out laughing. I can’t imagine why. Perhaps it’s the juxtaposition of “Presidential,” as in Trump, and “Integrity.” Yeah…I’m pretty sure that’s it.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Like reading a report from Kim Jung Un entitled: “Dear Leader’s Commission on Human Rights.”

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Or a treatise from Andy Puzder on fine dining.

  • schmannity

    OT, but Infowars Trump defending commenters do not react well when you call them comrade.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    “Voting is for losers. As the executive of the country, I make the decisions and know best.”

    Fuck you Trumpfuckface.

  • arglebargle

    They’re gearing up to fuck with the 2020 census.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      It’ll show that California has lost 40 electoral votes to Alabama.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    If they don’t return the postcard, the process of kicking them off the voter rolls starts. Not surprisingly, since younger and poorer people are more likely to rent than own, and generally less likely to return the cards, the return rate among homeowning Republicans is a lot higher, so the system results in more likely Democratic voters being removed from voter rolls.

    Just wait until they find the right case to argue the “original intent” of the right to vote was only for landowners to do so. Quite a few of the fringy right have made that argument before, and now they can try to push for a return to that.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh, a lot more than just the fringe spout that bullshit…

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Land owning men, though exceptions were sometimes made for widows of land owning men.

      • Shanzgood

        There could be a sharp uptick in widowhood.

  • anwisok
  • …so GOP chair and the GOP VP as co chair?….
    Bipartisan! Yet another word the GOP does not understand!

    • Nicholas

      Yeah, but they’ll let a Democrat or two in the room from time to time, so it’s fair. Besides, they need someone to fetch the coffee while they do the serious work of stopping people from voting.

      • Shanzgood

        They need some Dems to blame when things go wrong.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Shoto

      Charlie!

  • Bill D. Burger

    I did a spit take when a guest on MSNBC said that Trump obviously didn’t learn “…a damn thing from Watergate. As a matter of fact, I bet if you ask him about Watergate, he would only remember that it involved a hotel and that it wasn’t nearly as classy as Trump Tower.”

    • wait! what?

      He didn’t learn anything because he invented it

  • Shoto

    Imma illegally vote-jack the thread with this post, just up from DCReport.

    My vote-jacking proves that illegal voting is rampant, so now that we have established that fact, we can move onto other subjects, such as – oh, I dunno – hammering Orange Man-Baby with Moar Facts.

    https://www.dcreport.org/2017/05/12/the-fbi-is-still-looking-into-the-trump-kremlin-connection/

  • dirtielaundry

    Voter suppression even targets young white people. I know a guy in Indiana who tried to vote for the first time but they gave him some bullshit about him registering too late which I knew was a baldfaced lie because my friend had helped him register more than a year ago from that date! I was so pissed off that they basically said “Hey, buddy, your rights don’t matter, now GTFO before we call the cops.” It gave him a grim impression of voting from the very start. This is such horse shit!

    • LucindathePook

      I was not allowed to vote right after I got married.
      Clerk: Well, you are not registered
      Me: I voted in primary, this is the general
      Clerk: Well you got married and changed your name and needed to reregister
      Me: Did not, Well, got married but no name change
      Clerk: Then you changed your address
      Me: Nu-uh 9slightly more grownup)
      Clerk: We go through and take women off when they get married because of name/address change
      Me: But my mom got married (and moved) last year, and you still have her on there (brief thought about forging her signature and voting in her name). And I know sure as fate she reregistered at her new address
      Clerk: What’s her name?
      Me: Not telling you.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Some Silicon Valley whiz needs to work on smart guillotine technology.

    • Eh, the old ones worked just fine.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Digital ones

      • Bobathonic

        No way, we need good old fashioned goddamned steam powered ones!

    • TJ Barke

      They’re too busy working on systems to influence elections and more effectively disenfranchise voters.

  • TJ Barke

    This bullshit just makes me seethe. How dare these craven opportunists? They are such unamerican garbage. They should be fucking banished to some bare rocks out in the pacific.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      3000′ under water

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        R’lyeh libelz!

        • Bobathonic

          Cthulhu: “Shit. There goes the neighborhood.”

  • msanthropesmr
    • TJ Barke

      Even a wildly malfunctioning clock is right at random points throughout the day…

    • …more often than not since the election. Who’da thunk it?

    • wait! what?

      She got republican “civic virtue” right:

      “Sure, he’s totally ignorant about the world, but we’ll get the Supreme Court.” “Well, he’s obviously lying about a bunch of issues, but he’ll sign whatever the House gives him.“

    • Al Swearengen

      Freaking Charlie Sykes:
      ************
      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/12/opinion/sunday/if-liberals-hate-him-then-trump-must-be-doing-something-right.html

      For the anti-anti-Trump pundit, whatever the allegation against Mr. Trump, whatever his blunders or foibles, the other side is always worse.

      But the real heart of anti-anti-Trumpism is the delight in the frustration
      and anger of his opponents. Mr. Trump’s base is unlikely to hold him
      either to promises or tangible achievements, because conservative
      politics is now less about ideas or accomplishments than it is about
      making the right enemies cry out in anguish.

      • TJ Barke

        Government by spite. What could go wrong?

        • Al Swearengen

          They’ve been doing it since Limbaugh and hate radio started. 30ish years. It’s why their governing principle is nihilism.

        • Sophia

          Someone posted an article about the spite vote the other day. Kind of interesting and still true even though it’s from 2004

          http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/7/29/40917/-

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        How about making the right enemies laugh and point at you?…because that’s what we’re doing now….

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I’ve been saying this forever. Spite, fear, bigotry and ignorance are the heart of all this. They were the big, beautiful doors that let Russia and Comey’s “But her emails” right on in.

      • HogeyeGrex

        “If it pisses off the hippies, it’s got to be good.”

    • TakingAmes

      I’ve been reading her a lot since the election. Her righteous indignation makes me feel better.

  • MynameisBlarney

    So…on NPR just a few minutes ago, they had several journalists commenting on how roosha and pooty-poot are trolling turmp.

    We are beyond a laughing stock because of this.

    Our country is being dismantled remotely and turmp is the drone.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      NPR? Really?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah.
        Not all of their shows are compromised by the Kochs.

  • Al Swearengen

    Trump is becoming so radioactive he couldn’t get “National Suck a Congressman’s Dick Day” through Congress. Be vigilant, but don’t worry too much about feeble executive order photo ops like this ever making it into law.

    Kobag will go preen, and waste some money, and give Trump a list no one will notice beyond putting it in a file cabinet. Because there’ll be a dozen dumpster fires all over the West Wing we’ll be fighting at that moment.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: #withfewexceptions trending on twitter

    https://twitter.com/SheWhoVotes/status/863051801813241864

  • MynameisBlarney

    Here’s an idea…

    Throw his ass in a cell.
    That would be more effective I think.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10141773019

  • Shoto
  • janecita

    I’m sorry, but what the fuck is wrong with us? What is it going to take for us to go on the streets, Ukraine, Egypt, or Venezuela style, and demand an end to this kleptocracy? Are we really so fucking compliant? Gilead could happen here tomorrow, and we wouldn’t do shit to prevent it! We are cowards!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Massive internet outages and no cable, combined with a shortage of Frito Lay products and price spikes of fast fashion available from your local chain retailer, MAYBE…

    • Chadwells

      South Korea style!!!

    • HorseChestnut

      We’re all too busy working four thankless shit jobs and trying to ignore our increasing health complaints. Also too, there’s a significant chance that action like this would trigger martial law.

      • janecita

        I’m sure that people in those countries also have shit jobs, and health complaints, and worry about martial law. They just have the cojones to go on the streets and demand a new government.

    • The streets were empty after Bush v. Gore. Just sayin’ 😉

      • janecita

        Exactly!!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    “Is Voting Over-rated?” We asked one young, pitchfork-wielding fellow on the street….

    • wait! what?

      If you’ve ever voted before it’s a pre-existing condition; all of your future votes don’t count.

  • DainBramage

    Voter suppression is a gross civil rights violation and should be punishable by 100 years in prison for every voter affected. Real prison, not country club prison.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Dok, can’t I read a single article on here without seeing the travesty that is canned clams? You MONSTER!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    ATTENTION REPUBLICANS: Voter fraud is a felony…because you’re the only people who ever get caught doing it.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Upvoted, albeit fraudulently.

      • TJ Barke

        I don’t always vote, but when I do, it’s fraudulently.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Sometimes I do it surreptitiously, but I always sneak in and sneak out when I do that, so that it seems fraudulent…

          • Lamashtar

            They always tell me to turn off my phone, then I use it to look up names I don’t recognize anyway, so it FEELS fraudulent.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Hey, it’s only a 3 1/2 year prison term and a $10,000 fine, so good Republicans can fraudulently vote in every Presidential election!

      • Shanzgood

        Is there a statute of limitations?

        • “M”

          On the arrest?

          • Shanzgood

            I dunno. The crime?

    • shivaskeeper

      They only do because they love the country so much they have to prove that voter fraud is a real thing.

  • Imagine all the goodies that will be in today’s “Friday News Dump”!

    • DrBigHead

      I’m waiting for the upcoming weekend tweet storm. Should be magnificent.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        -First, I’m the President. You all knew that, I suppose. Who knew? I just found out about it a couple of days ago, but I had already made up my mind. It was entirely my decision. Second, and that comes after first, because I like to say “Second” after I say first, like it goes together, even though my daughter always says “Dad!” and winks at me when that happens. How many words is this?…..

        • jesterpunk

          SAD, not enough about his yuge electoral collage win.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I’d like to see that collage over the back of his Oval Office desk. Just a big WIN made out of torn-up pieces of magazine covers…

        • DrBigHead

          Is that you, Donald?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          AOT,K?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Wait for Shabbat.

  • Mavenmaven

    I imagine that the GOP proposal will be to abolish the 15th and 19th amendment. Problem solved!

    • Why stop there? Only the 2nd is actually important, and that one only as a means to bludgeon the ignorant and fearful.

      • jesterpunk

        Only half of the 2nd counts, the part that says SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED. The rest doesnt matter to them.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      They don’t have to. This is all covered under Article XII.

  • Major_Major_Major
    • wait! what?

      Yeah, that first one is digital. We’re going back to steam…

  • Pisto75666
    • The press should all go “Good! Put it in writing! much better!”

      • shivaskeeper

        No. It they do it in writing it’s so there can be no follow up questions. They will just supposed to report what is written. I mean who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?

    • TJ Barke
      • Pisto75666

        Basically my reaction for 45 minutes.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      President Trump threatened Friday morning to end White House press briefings, arguing that “it is not possible” for his staff to speak with “perfect accuracy” to the American public.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd96a9a261e13efc4c40fc5cc7e3841478ba6647c0a2b880bc7a9db9a033b1fc.jpg

      • jesterpunk
      • Pisto75666

        Someone should come back to him with “You can barely speak with ANY accuracy to the American public!”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Sarah Jessica Huckabee must not be getting good ratings.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Well, it’s not like she’s a Ten, or anything.

      • PubOption

        Trump’s uncertainty principle?

    • jesterpunk

      The lamestream media is so unfair, why cant they just report only good things about us like PizzaGate guy does? They keep quoting our own comments back at us.

      • Pisto75666

        They don’t even talk about our YOOGE inauguration crowd size. SAD!

        • Crystalclear12

          Or about his electoral college win!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      B-B-But the spectacle!

      • Pisto75666

        He’s not even thinking about what will happen to poor Melissa McCarthy!

      • Sophia

        B-B-But he’ll lose his reviews!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It’s not like that there are any accomplishments to talk of.

      • Pisto75666

        But he’s the most accomplished president of anyone EVER! (people have said,) Which, I wish someone would ask him which people have said? Like, specifically?

        • jesterpunk

          He invented China and the phrase prime the pump.

      • snigsy

        It’s not like there are any questions to ask.

    • BadKitty904

      I can get all the fertilizer I need at Home Depot, thanks.

      • Pisto75666

        HD’s gonna go out of business at this rate.

        • BadKitty904

          They could sue the GOP under the RICO Act…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Well, if Trump won’t talk to the press, there are a whole lot of people in the White House who will.

      • Pisto75666

        I hope so. Not to mention one of my deepest wishes is that eventually the people who’ve been fired just spill their guts about EVERYTHING.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I’m not going to drink to excess this weekend…#withafewexceptions

    • TJ Barke

      I’m not going to get baked this weekend #withafewexceptions

    • Major_Major_Major

      I’m not going to defile my body masturbate watch internet pr0n this weekend #withafewexceptions maybe even more than a few

  • MynameisBlarney
    • bupkus231

      Rump was strait-jacket ready looong before January 2017. But, what the hell, idiot ‘Merkins thought that was just Rump being “fashionable”

  • shivaskeeper

    The bright point I see in this is these clowns are inefficient. They might still be arguing about who is supposed to be sitting on the panel by the time midterms come around.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    OT but I just found out that I won my unemployment dispute with my ex-employer and am getting a big fat direct deposit of all your tax money. I’m going to White Castle to celebrate!

    • TJ Barke

      Watch out for NPH…

      • Al Swearengen

        As long as he’s got your car.

      • MynameisBlarney

        INORITE?!?

        Bastard will steal your damn car!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Neil Patrick Harris? He likes White Castle too?

        • BadKitty904

          He’s so dreammmmmy

        • LucindathePook

          Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and meet NPH>

    • You know, Mr. Blobfish, I’ve always had your back.

    • eggsacklywright

      You are a worthy vessel.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I hope you’ve remembered to add me to your will, Dad!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Since one frightening WaPo link a few posts below deserves another:

    Trump suggests there may be ‘tapes’ of his private conversations with former FBI director

    President Trump suggested Friday that there may be “tapes” of his private conversations with FBI Director James B. Comey, whom he fired earlier this week, in an apparent attempt to threaten Comey about “leaking to the press.”

    Donald J. Trump ✔ @realDonaldTrump
    James Comey better hope that there are no “tapes” of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press!
    5:26 AM – 12 May 2017
    13,966 13,966 Retweets 37,304 37,304 likes

    In his tweet, Trump appears to suggest that he may have recordings of his communications with Comey. It is unclear if such tapes exist, however.

    Yeah, that’s not trying to be threatening or intimidating at all…

    • BadKitty904

      “Suggested”. “May”. In other words, he’s lying. Per usual.

      • Shibusa

        Well if Trump doesn’t have the tapes, Vladimir prolly has them.

        • BadKitty904

          Or can fake them, then flood the media with them.

    • natoslug

      So . . . are there any laws in D.C. about secretly taping another person without permission? Also, can we get Drumpf to testify under oath that he has/has not secretly taped Comey? Surely there is at least one Republican willing to work for America and demand this.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      They’ve not put up a new fox radio news report on our local radio station since Tuesday…

    • jesterpunk

      “I mean, we’re waiting, just to give you an example, we very much
      want somebody to represent the president’s point of view on Sunday,
      about the Comey firing,” Wallace said with a bemused smile. “They still
      haven’t given us anybody. We can’t even reach anybody — they’re not
      available, they’re not answering the phone.”

      Has anyone called Hannity about that? He should be able to answer the question.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I’m sure Hannity is much too busy soothing the Russian Puppet’s butt hurt by massaging his giant, orange prostate for him.

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          Remind me to not be surprised by your surprise ending there. Talk about turning into a blind corner into a face of spiders.

    • Chadwells

      Comey said “don’t make me ball this”….and Dampnut persisted.

      I can’t wait for Comey and the FBI to bury this asshole. Even Glassley seems to have had enough…which whoa if true!!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/406a2fdeca2d267500692a386bbcb24237d7c64756f28ea3b0c8e2f03c0ca495.gif

    • wait! what?

      The events leading up to James’s closed door testimony next week should be made into a documentary called : “Any Given Tuesday. “

  • nightmoth

    I have personally experienced voter fraud. My husband was expected to win in a runoff against a Republican for the county commission, but the Republican took 100 absentee ballot request forms from the county registrar and things got hinky. The local state Republican senator had just engineered a bill which said one did NOT need a reason to absentee vote. That sounded like a good, almost “liberal” thing to do, but I was not suspicious enough. My husband lost due to absentee ballots, all of which came in with the same handwriting and the same misspelled address on the envelopes. The Republican candidate himself, and his wife, carried the forms to the voters: also perfectly legal. There were rumors, of course, of small bribes, gifts, and promises made to the Republican single-wide community, but nothing I could prove. So that’s my story. If the GOP wants to “stop” voter fraud, then they should fucking stop doing it.

    • BosGrl

      Wow!

    • Shanzgood

      Holy shit

    • Crystalclear12

      They are masters at the art of projection.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        I can tell by their blood-stained hands.

    • jesterpunk

      To the GOP that isnt voter fraud because they won. If your husband had one him winning would be proof of voter fraud.

    • proudgrampa

      I am POSITIVE that the vote was rigged when I ran for 8th grade president…

      And LOST.

  • We will all be happier after Trump gets so mad, he drops the C bomb on America.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/iVwPjYlujZdoQ/giphy.gif

  • Al Swearengen

    Hah, Andrea Mitchell asking James Clapper if he was “choking” during his testimony like Trump said to the Time reporters. Groans, says “No. I’m glad to clear that up.”

  • baconzgood

    I hope they look into sasquash attacks too

    • jesterpunk

      Isnt that why schools need moar guns? To prevent Sasquatch attacks and alien abductions?

    • Chadwells

      I got it covered. Just finished cutting the latest season of Mountain Monsters. (Humble brag, I guess?)

      • Bobathonic

        Is that where those oysters come from?

        • TakingAmes

          It IS in the can.

    • TJ Barke

      Sasquatch libel!

    • MynameisBlarney
      • MizzMazz

        Naw, it’s just Steve French.

    • Bobathonic

      I wouldn’t worry about bigfeets as much as about weehands.

    • BadKitty904

      And the Illuminati. And the Masons. And the Knights Templar. And…

      • Bobathonic

        Masons, Bilderbergers, oh my!

        • BadKitty904

          And aliens. LOTS of aliens. Space and/or illegal.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That was just Sam….

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I thought he was hawking fitness tapes with Karl-Anthony Towns (professional tall athlete)?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Good to see you, baconz. Well, not exactly “see,” but you know what I mean.

  • jesterpunk

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/05/gizmodo-went-phishing-with-the-trump-team-will-they-catch-a-charge/

    Earlier this week, the team at Gizmodo’s Special Projects Desk published a report on how they “phished” members of the administration and campaign teams of President Donald Trump.
    Gizmodo identified 15 prominent figures on Trump’s team and sent
    e-mails to each posing as friends, family members, or associates
    containing a faked Google Docs link.

    The emails said this was a test and they still got some of the Trump team to click links they shouldnt click.

  • janecita

    This explains a lot!

    https://youtu.be/rW9R6jgE7SQ

    • TJ Barke

      “better and better”
      Yeah, the sixth mass extinction begs to differ…

  • UnsaltedSinner

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/59e2a79c14dc1c15a7a4d0e0fa69cfaefc30f4a8a6234332ddb69aaba0023a4b.png

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/05/12/trump-threatens-to-cancel-white-house-briefings-because-it-is-not-possible-to-always-tell-the-truth/

    My dad likes to tell the story of a “fant” (a Norwegian word for a Traveller) who was called to court to appear as a character witness for his wayward son and gave the young man the following lecture: “It takes brains to be a thief. You’re not smart enough to make a living that way!”

    Well, it takes brains for an administration to lie convincingly to the press. And Donald and his Trumpkins just aren’t smart enough to pull it off.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      “traitor”

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Traitor was on the list somewhere. I’m sure it’ll keep moving up.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I kept my “I voted, Yo vote” sticker as a reminder that I am not responsible for the fascist fuckshow America is going through now. But that does not absolve me of responsibility to speak up and take action.

  • DainBramage

    All completed ballots will be checked for accuracy.

  • BadKitty904
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Looking forward to using THIS sledgehammer over and over again.

      • BadKitty904

        It’s *essential* we do so. For the GOP will certainly set its entire propaganda machine in motion to avoid having to take responsibility for the disaster THEY caused.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          And profited from.

          • BadKitty904

            Absolutely.

  • witsended

    So glad that your great nation is showing those of us unfortunate to live in the third world, that voter registration is a really really complicated process, that requires a persons time and major effort to be effective.
    It makes the system I am forced to use seem like something from the dark ages.
    How can the internet and five minutes of time be a solution to something so complex?

    https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote

    • BosGrl

      This is how we register in Massachusetts. All I had to do was go online to register myself and my daughter.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I’m living abroad but vote in Mass. They make it super-duper easy to get and stay registered, and to vote online, even when you aren’t in the country. Love them!

      • efoveks

        I registered online in CA.

        • BosGrl

          Well, we are on the coasts, so we’re just commies.

    • jesterpunk

      If its too easy to register and vote then republicans wont win.

    • Excellent point. Now I am witsended also, too.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      What’s worse is that it is mostly left up to individual states, making the process higgledy-piggledy. UK is smart enough not to let Essex and Wessex come up with disparate rules.

      • witsended

        They do make the local governments responsible for the registration process. In fact these dictatorships can fine you if you do not register. They are that evil they send little old ladies round to your abode, to threaten you with dire punishments around Easter time every year, if you do not comply.
        They have taken our freedom from us.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      And I see those bleeding heart liberals also make the site available in Welsh!

      • unclejeems

        Hir yn byw Cymru!

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Did you just sneeze the alphabet?

          • unclejeems

            Sorry, I hope it didn’t spray it!

  • BadKitty904
    • proudgrampa

      Da!

    • DrBigHead

      God help us….

      • BadKitty904

        We need to help ourselves.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Did Stalin steal that quote from Boss Tweed?

      • BadKitty904

        I wouldn’t put it past him.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I thought Donald Trump said that originally.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This is OT, but I’m posting because it’s weird, unexpected and less dark than most of the other news today: Tillerson signs international declaration recognizing climate change

    • BosGrl

      Yay! Huh?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Someone went off-script and will get a Twitter scolding later.

    • Anna Rompage

      What, is it cheaper to build oil rigs on solid glacial ice, than on sinking, melting permafrost or something?

      Sorry, I should be happy, but the cynic in me says these folks will do nothing positive unless there is a significant financial reward in it for themselves..

    • Chadwells

      I saw that yesterday and not surprisingly there was an article posted directly below it that read “Fuckface White House sends mixed signals on climate change agreement”…so I’m not getting my hopes up on this one.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Sadly, no one cares what Tillerson says. Certainly not Trump.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s not an official act of the State Dept. until Jared signs it.

    • snigsy

      Why am I immediately suspicious?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      … for the hoax which it is.

    • Querolous

      I speculate that Rexxon would like to accelerate the warming of the Arctic. Makes it that much easier to extract (and spill) that crude.

  • RobKanC

    I am glad people voted for the Green Party while they had a chance. Congrats dumbasses. You played yourself.

  • Anna Rompage

    No wonder why the GOP has embraced Trump’s brand of crazy with open arms…

    He’s a huge distraction while they implement their draconian & fascist policies and laws mostly behind the scenes.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ve said this since the election. Trump is a clown-shaped diversion. The REAL danger is the Republican Congress.

      • DrBigHead

        And Pence. Do not forget that.

        • BadKitty904

          True, that. There’s a VERY good reason he’s keeping such a low profile.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            He’s a snake?

          • C4TWOMAN

            That and he’s playing to his strengths. Pence has little charisma. But he’s a hard-working idealoge. Much better to let Trump act as his shield while he does dirty work.
            This is part of why I’m not as worried as some with the prospect of a President Pence. Leaving aside the fact he’s gotta be as guilty of treason as Trump is, he doesn’t have the raw talent and dark charisma Trump has. Someone like him is always better as No2 instead of No1. Make him No 1, and he’ll start to sweat from being in the spot light.
            IMO.

          • BadKitty904

            VERY much agreed. Pence is more of an Iago than an Othello.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
  • wait! what?

    Still smarter than Donald:

    https://youtu.be/Um9rzGPE3Ug

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    ALWAYS. PROJECTION. WITH THESE ASSHOLES.

  • Michael R
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I find that easy to masturbate to.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Must be true.

    • BadKitty904

      Here’s hoping.

    • thank-you-thing

      Is funny because Trump hung himself when he fired Comey .

  • Chadwells

    OT: Holder telling Sessions “Come at me bro!” Who you got in this fight?

    “Obama AG slams Sessions for shift to harsher sentencing”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/333125-obama-ag-slams-sessions-for-shift-to-harsher-sentencing

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/56093d647da5b024d5dca0198575cb5250eb3f68b9391247af8a67ad67f2ffcd.gif

    • TJ Barke

      It’s not like it’s transparently a conflict of interest what with his going concerns in private for profit prisons or anything…

      • Chadwells

        Fa real…

  • jesterpunk

    Well here is the real reason Republicans are pitching Garland for the head of the FBI, it opens his spot on the court for another Republican.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/05/12/the-merrick-garland-for-fbi-scheme-shows-why-liberals-lose/

    • Garland, the guy they refused to vote on?

      • jesterpunk

        Yep, they now want him as the FBI director so his seat on the D.C. Circuit federal appeals court is open and they can put in a republican.

        • erm….
          why would…no wait. Why…but….
          WHAT THE FUCK ISNT THE FBI DIRECTOR SUPPOSED TO BE AN FBI GUY????

          • jesterpunk

            They dont have to be but they should know something about what they are running. But this is the Trump administration so knowing things disqualifies you.

          • mfp

            or, youknow…a career law-enforcement type?…not ex-military, not current or ex-congress…khaa-rhyst, we are so screwed

        • Me not sure

          It’s a trap, Merrick. Shortly after you take the job they will fill your seat and then Trump WILL FIRE YOU!

          • jesterpunk

            Exactly, the same thing needs to be said to anyone who thinks this is a good idea.

    • The Wanderer

      They’ve managed to gull Klobuchar into signing onto the idea.

      • Cliff Hendroval

        I think she’s walked that back after Chuck Schumer explained to her just how bad an idea it is.

        • The Wanderer

          And if Chuckles managed it, I applaud him.

  • Crystalclear12
    • phoenix00

      Fox News: We’ll Even Play Voicemail Tag

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I think voter registration should be automatic upon your 18th birthday. You shouldn’t have to “do” a goddamned thing. Turn 18, they mail you your card.

    But then I’m a well-known commie.

    • Me not sure

      If they can do that for draft age males, they can do it for voters.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        When I swipe my card at a cash register it takes the money out of my account at the speed of light. But when it comes to getting the extra $50 hold returned from the gas pump that takes 24 hours cause it’s complicated. Math, binary numbers, data cables…you wouldn’t understand.

        • Me not sure

          …and don’t get me started on the float time for any large check in my favor, when any large check that I write comes out immediately. Grrrrr.

      • MizzMazz

        They did it to me, and I’m a woman! Seriously, got a draft card. My very prudish and conservative Mom suggested I send them a Polaroid of my tits.

        • Me not sure

          I’d be happy to forward that for you.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Me too– my high school had me down as the male version of my name. I just ignored it and got threatened with a warrant. I had to go in to the SS office for an audio visual demonstration.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    I think I see how this works:
    Kris Kobach doesn’t try to suppress voters.
    With a few exceptions.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Here’s the few exceptions: blah, hispanic, asian, or poor.

      Any other questions?

      • KnaveOfSwords

        You forgot women.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          So just old, but not too old, white men?

        • Keith Taylor

          Maybe especially women. But certainly anybody at all who might possibly not be an uncritical, anything goes Trump supporter.

      • The Wanderer

        Young folks.

      • phoenix00

        Ls, Gs, Bs, Ts, Qs.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    ♫ Where have all the good trolls gone,
    Long time passing.
    Where have all the good trolls gone,
    Long time ago.
    Where have all the good trolls gone,
    Gone to Breitbart, every one.
    Oh, when when will they ever learn?
    When will they ever learn. 🎶

    • C4TWOMAN

      Never.

    • parachihuahua

      Except Miriam Webster. And you know, it’s bad when the dictionary is tired of your shit.

  • The Wanderer

    (sighs) Well, democracy was fun while it lasted.

    • And now, the end is near
      And so we face the iron curtain
      My friends, I’ll say it clear
      We’re fucking doomed, of this I’m certain
      We’ve live in a country that is full
      Of twisted morans on the highway
      But although we tried, we must confess
      We did it our way

  • parachihuahua

    Please contact your state election people.

    In Utah, go to the Lt. Governor’s website contact AND email elections@utah.gov. Add this link and ask about suppression. https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/05/11/presidential-executive-order-establishment-presidential-advisory

    Re-frame this by asking “What is our state going to do about voter
    suppression?” We have to say “suppression” over and over and over…

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So now that “voting” is out, what do we do on Wonkette when we want to say something bad about a public figure? If I can’t bash some politician with votes my whole world will crumble. Soon I’ll stop eating the cake that we like and start eating canned clams, I’ll have to end my relationship with Brad…OH MY GOD I”LL HAVE TO WEAR PANTS! THE HORROR, THE HORROR!

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      ALL THE MONSTERS, KATIE!!!

  • Lyly Sirivong

    https://youtu.be/j82XkwHd_Q0
    If voter fraud was as massive as they say, you’d think the international observers would have noticed.

  • Tiny kaiju

    Great. So the orange bloated corpse in the Oval Office is going to waste more of our tax money on another non existent problem. What’s next, re-enforcing Pennsylvania Ave so it can support his Victory Parade featuring tanks and an aircraft carrier on roller skates?

    • phoenix00

      It’s Friday, so he’s down in Mar-a-Lago spending more tax money.

  • Internet Hitler

    Shame, shame, shame on James Brown for fraudulently voting millions of times for Hillary Clinton, and extra shame on him for doing it while dead.

    • Khavrinen

      The hardest voting man in show business?

    • phoenix00

      “Hit me!”

  • mancityRed6

    I find saying the name of Kobach requires me to spit after. He’s had the power to prosecute voter fraud and only brought a few cases so far, all older people who made a mistake and probably voted republican.
    As a Kansan, I apologise for the horrible monstrosity the idiots I share this state with put into office.

    • Keith Taylor

      You don’t have apologize for him. He needs to apologize for helping put Donald Trump in the White House and thereby putting the planet in peril. And while we’re on the subject of franchise suppression … the five Supreme Court judges who voted to remove Section 4 from the Voting Rights Act back in 2013 have much to answer for. 2016 was the first presidential election to take place after that was done. Indicating pretty strongly that Section 4 should be installed again and extended to apply to ALL states. Not just the ones with a blatant record of racist voter discrimination. Times have not changed so much that it can be dispensed with.
      And I hope no-one will point out that I have just ended a sentence with a preposition. Twice. As Churchill once said, “That is a petty criticism up with which I shall not put.”

  • So, I’ve been wondering, should we all get out of this presidency alive and with some semblance of democracy remaining, how we could possibly prevent this from happening again. We’re not even half a year into this administration, the screaming Cheeto is obviously mentally disturbed as well as gross, craven, and generally evil, but he’s not fundamentally different than he was before November. People who voted for him wanted this, they mostly STILL like him, the electoral college isn’t going anywhere, and Trump voters seem to live in the states that count. So what’s to stop them from giving him a second term, or from electing someone just as crazy or crazier next time? Like, how could we deal with a small but loud and motivated group of citizens who happen to live in just the right places and actively want to elect literal nutjobs?

    I guess this is the answer – don’t worry about whether the Americans for Sociopaths party will elect another madman on their own, because we’re going to do away with the whole notion of free and fair elections anyhow.

  • runfastandwin

    Any Democrat that gods along with this should be drummed out of the party.

    • Keith Taylor

      Any Democrat OR Republican that goes along with this doesn’t belong in the U.S.A. and it would be very very nice if citizenship could be taken from him or her and given to some honest, amiable, hard-working Latino, Syrian, Asian or … name it. As it happens, too, I’ve known and detested the name Kris Kobach for some time, and I’m Australian! I agree. May it be spoken with distaste for a hundred years.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Now, I do have to agree with the part about multiple family members having the same first and last name being super annoying in my personal life. That being said, I work in a pharmacy, not handling the voting privileges of my fellow Americans, and a quick date of birth question is all it takes to avoid an issue. You’d think they’d make a little more effort when someone’s right to vote is on the line.

    • Bitter Scribe

      You’d think they’d make a little more effort when someone’s right to vote is on the line.

      Oh, they make the effort, all right.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m old enough to remember when college students who wanted to vote where they lived were turned away by snotty little jerks at registration offices: “You don’t live here, you just go to school here.” It took federal judges to straighten them out. It might take some more to straighten these fuckers out.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Oh those so-called Federal judges. They keep hashing The Donald’s mellow.

  • BuzzKill48

    This is the most important yet under reported story of the last couple of days. Trump is up to no good with this executive order. He knows that something needs to be done by the mid-term election in 2018 or congress could likely turn Democrat. If that happens, Trump knows he’s in deep shit. Better for him if he can stack the deck in his favor before that happens.

  • laineypc

    For voter suppression, the entire GOP needs to be impeached for treason.

  • Let me guess, they’re going to come after Democratic-leaning states with mail-in voting systems first…

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Many of these Republican Secretaries of State are up for reelection in 2018 or term-limited out and running for other offices. I’d like to see their Democratic opponents counter their touting of their accomplishments by pointing out that the President, a member of their party, set up a commission to investigate voter fraud under their watch.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    VOTER FRAUD IS A FELONY!

    Voter suppression is a virtue.

  • SeeTrain65

    Isn’t J. Kenneth Blackwell also involved in this?

    If so, that might be their undoing. He could rig an election for President in Ohio, but couldn’t rig himself to become governor.

  • Zyxomma

    I. Just. Can’t. Anymore.

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