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Well, there goes our seat at the Grownups’ Table. Forget about your dreams of Le Netflix and Chill with Le Sexy President Macron. We’ll be lucky to get a plastic plate of fish fingers in the staff mess hall at Buckingham Palace. President Derp sat down for an interview last week with The Economist, the world’s most widely read Serious Magazine on Global Finance For Real Adults. It could only have gone worse if he dropped trou and took a dump on the table mid-sentence. And he did go off the record for a minute, so WHO EVEN KNOWS????

Donald Trump’s Guiding Principal: SELF REGARD

We Americans are a timid bunch, overmodest and self-effacing. Luckily we have a raving narcissist negotiating our economic policy now. He’ll restore order with his America First nationalist bluster. Because, really, isn’t it all about how we feel when we look in the mirror? It’s just Economics 101! Good thing someone finally thought to ask about it.

What is Trumponomics and how does it differ from standard Republican economics?
Trump: Well it’s an interesting question. I don’t think it’s ever been asked quite that way. But it really has to do with self-respect as a nation.

Many People Are Finding Out that China is Like, REALLY OLD

You guys, did you know other countries existed before God made the US of A? IT’S TRUE!

[Our] relationship with China is long. Of course by China standards, it’s very short [laughter], you know when I’m with [Xi Jinping], because he’s great, when I’m with him, he’s a great guy. He was telling me, you know they go back 8,000 years, we have 1776 is like modern history. They consider 1776 like yesterday and they, you know, go back a long time. They talk about the different wars, it was very interesting. We got along great. So I told them, I said, “We have a problem and we’re going to solve that problem.” But he wants to help us solve that problem.

But don’t worry, because China’s president Xi isn’t personally 8,000-years-old. They shared that chocolate cake at Mar-a-Lago, and Donald Trump was so charming. Then the Dealmaker in Chief decided not to label China a currency manipulator, or demand any real concessions at all. Because he is The Best Negotiator!

But, so they talk about why haven’t you called him a currency manipulator? Now think of this. I say, “Jinping. Please help us, let’s make a deal. Help us with North Korea, and by the way we’re announcing tomorrow that you’re a currency manipulator, OK?” They never say that, you know the fake media, they never put them together, they always say, he didn’t call him a currency [manipulator], number one. Number two, they’re actually not a currency [manipulator]. You know, since I’ve been talking about currency manipulation with respect to them and other countries, they stopped.

You see! All that arglebargle about Gina China on the campaign trail in 2016 forced China to allow its currency to float back in 2014. It’s amazing!

Oopsie! Did President Trump Accidentally Admit that the Healthcare Bill is Really Just a Tax Cut for the Wealthy?

Shhhhhhh, Poppy! We’re calling it a bill to make healthcare cheaper and restore liberty. You aren’t supposed to say the other part out loud!

Trump: Now, if we get the health-care [bill through Congress], this is why, you know a lot of people said, “Why isn’t he going with taxes first, that’s his wheelhouse?” Well, hey look, I convinced many people over the last two weeks, believe me, many Congressmen, to go with it. And they’re great people, but one of the great things about getting health care is that we will be saving, I mean anywhere from $400bn to $900bn.

Mr Mnuchin: Correct.

President Trump: That all goes into tax reduction. Tremendous savings.

Tax Cuts are Critical! Tax Returns…Not So Much!

Donald Trump knows for sure that trickle down economics is totally going to work this time. If we just stop making all those job creators pay taxes, our economy will grow so much…it’s gonna be yooooge! Sure, it will require sacrifices. But would Donald Trump release his own tax returns if it meant getting a deal through Congress? NO HE WOULD NOT. Except maybe later, because you all would be OMG so impressed with all the money he makes. Did you know Donald Trump is very successful?

Mr President, can I just try you on a deal-making question? If you do need Democratic support for your tax plan, your ideal tax plan, and the price of that the Democrats say is for you to release your tax returns, would you do that?
Trump: I don’t know. That’s a very interesting question. I doubt it. I doubt it. Because they’re not going to…nobody cares about my tax return except for the reporters. Oh, at some point I’ll release them. Maybe I’ll release them after I’m finished because I’m very proud of them actually. I did a good job.

Hope Hicks [White House director of strategic communication]: Once the audit is over.

Trump: I might release them after I’m out of office.

Trump Knows How to Coin a Phrase: Have You Heard the Expression ‘Prime the Pump’?

But beyond that it’s OK if the tax plan increases the deficit?
Trump: It is OK, because it won’t increase it for long. You may have two years where you’ll…you understand the expression “prime the pump”?

Yes.
Trump: We have to prime the pump.

It’s very Keynesian.
Trump: We’re the highest-taxed nation in the world. Have you heard that expression before, for this particular type of an event?

Priming the pump?
Trump: Yeah, have you heard it?

Yes.
Trump: Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven’t heard it. I mean, I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good. It’s what you have to do.

It’s…
Trump: Yeah, what you have to do is you have to put something in before you can get something out.

Let’s put aside the fact that Donald Trump has no earthly idea what Keynesian economics is. And let’s pretend that he wasn’t lying out his ass about us being the highest-taxed country. The fact that elementary economic theory is new to him doesn’t mean it’s new to people who aren’t completely fucking illiterate.

 

Did Trump Have a Stroke During the Interview?

Great! We’re going to wind up in a trade war because our geriatric president thinks he’s watching a football game now.

Trump: Part of the problem with NAFTA is that Mexico’s a VAT. So Mexico is paying almost…we pay 17%. So we are now down 17%, going into Mexico when we trade. So that’s like, you have a football team and every time they play a game, they’re down, you know, 25 points. How can you possibly do good?

But would you consider…
Trump: You could actually make the case, that the 17 is doubled. You can make that case. You know, it’s 17 and it’s really 17 and it’s a double.

Mr Mnuchin: Right

Trump’s Healthcare Plan: Please Die Indoors

The CBO predicted that 24 million people would lose health insurance under the first failed AHCA plan. But the Republicans weren’t going to get fooled again, so they voted on the second, even worse plan with no CBO score. Crafty! Will 30 million people lose coverage now that insurance companies can jack up premiums $100,000 for cancer survivors? Well, Trump hopes those people have the decency to drag their carcasses inside before expiring. Because dying on the streets is just rude!

One of the things that was so different about your campaign message compared to other Republicans was, you said things like “I want everyone to be covered”.
Trump: We’re not going to let people die on the streets.

But some people will look at this bill and say, hang on, a lot of people are going to lose their coverage.
Trump: OK. So we have a pool for people that are having difficulty. We have got a pool. It’s a high-risk pool. And this pool we just funded yesterday, we’re putting in $8bn, into the pool. So depending on what states do…because I would like to see states taking over health care, I think they could do a better job than the federal government. Now in some cases that’ll be great, like in Florida that works fantastically with Rick Scott, and a couple of others. And in some states it isn’t, where they’re not equipped to do it. But ultimately, you know I use the expression, “If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”

Donald Trump is very busy hooting like a silverback at North Korea, ATM. It is very selfish of Americans to ask him to fix their owies at the same time! Here’s $8 billion dollars to get you started. Yes, you probably need $300 billion to cover that high-risk pool. Maybe you should have a bake sale!

Donald Trump’s Very Sophisticated Understanding of Health Insurance Gleaned from Watching Commercials on Fox News

We know that Donald Trump believes in taking healthcare away from babies when their parents piss you off. But we are just asking whether Donald Trump thinks health insurance works like that baby burial insurance scam on TV? Is our Treasury going to be run like Cash4Gold now?

You’re going to have absolute guaranteed coverage. You’re going to have it if you’re a person going in…don’t forget, this was not supposed to be the way insurance works. Insurance is, you’re 20 years old, you just graduated from college, and you start paying $15 a month for the rest of your life and by the time you’re 70, and you really need it, you’re still paying the same amount and that’s really insurance.

Why, yes, Donald! We are also in favor of single-payer healthcare! How wise of you to propose it!

[ The Economist ]

This week is taking its toll, y’all! Please send money in case that pee tape leaks and we have to get drunk and watch it for you!

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  • FlemmishSpy

    I thought Ivanka “primed the pump” for Donnie.

    • BearGHAZI

      When she can find it

  • msanthropesmr

    Uh. I guess anyone can be president.

    • BearGHAZI

      I can’t believe who they’re letting in these days

    • willi0000000

      when i first heard that as a child, i never knew it was a warning.

  • msanthropesmr

    Oh Sarah. I never thought that you would be more lucid than our president.

  • boyblue122
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    My head has made an actual DENT in my desk.

    • msanthropesmr

      Good news. We still have the aca. Still covered.

      • snark-lurker

        the ACA doz not cover desk-tops you are a idiot

        • dslindc

          Thanks, Obama!

    • snark-lurker

      pay no attention to the non-comment just below

  • memzilla Ω
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Linky just goes to this picture.

      • memzilla Ω

        Click on the red type, it links to the WBAL-TV page hosting the story, and that’s the only graphic there for now. Story is updating (see edit above).

  • FlemmishSpy

    Wax the butter churn.
    Strop the razor.
    Light the forge.
    Crack the buggy whip.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Did you pay Dolt 45 his royalties on these sayings of his?

      • FlemmishSpy

        Now you’re spinning the thread.

    • Will you stop fullering the cloth

      • FlemmishSpy

        Not now–I’m re-vulcanizing my shoes!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    May I suggest that when this dumbass dies, we open his brain and see how small it is? I’m guessing it’s below his hand size. . . .

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Check for spongiform encephalopathy.

    • boyblue122

      itll be just cobwebs and a poof of dust that comes out

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    “Hooting like a silverback at North Korea…”

    First-rate infosnark.

  • mrFawkes

    It’s very Keynesian.
    Trump: We’re the highest-taxed nation in the world and believe me it’s very Kenyasian. You know Kenya right, have you heard that expression before, believe me it came from Obama and his high taxes.

  • dslindc

    I miss having a sane, intelligent President.

  • schmannity

    The binder says President’s Daily Briefing, but it contains this month’s Highlights.

    • dslindc

      That’s so he’s quiet while Preznit Bannon is getting his briefing. If they sit him down in front of Faux News with his juice box, he gets all shouty and disruptive.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Goofus thinks he’s Gallant.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I take it you mean the kiddie magazine.

  • chimichanga

    “If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”

    >>>>I can’t dig coal because of my knee but thank god you’re thinking about North Korea

  • MynameisBlarney

    Rogering ones self right in ones own lorry take immense coordination.

    • PubOption

      You have to watch out for the gearstick.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Especially if it’s a lorry with a shifter on the tree.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      just cause it’s you:
      https://youtu.be/Xs9wQILzzG8?t=18

  • DrBigHead

    Went to The Economist and took a glance at the comments. I thought I could not be more embarrassed by this asshole. I was wrong.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    A reporter at The Economist has probably never in the history of that magazine spoken to a dumber person.

    • Michael Smith

      That’s probably correct. Not even just in the capacity of being a reporter. Like ever, like in regular life.

  • Michael Smith

    He was so disappointed that he hadn’t invented priming the pump.

    On the bright side, does he seem to have a large number of Freudian slips indicating he’s actually in favor of single payer? I mean, the thing about single payer: its simple and easy to understand. Which is good for Trump’s brain.

    • lucidamente

      Single payer. And then he doesn’t pay.

  • lucidamente

    Fortunately, pieces in The Economist appear without byline. This way the journalists who interviewed Trump won’t have to kill themselves.

  • Joe Beese

    The last time I pursued “tremendous savings” I ended up driving a Hyundai.

  • schmannity

    Crime the Chump. Prime the Pump. Whatever. I came up with one of them.

    • FlemmishSpy
      • Oblios_Cap

        That’s impressive.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          says President Trump.

          Sorry, I”m being filthy and awful.

          • Oblios_Cap

            It was either that of “what is it?”. It appears to be a Play-Doh green bean.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            and suddenly “circus peanut” takes on a WHOLE new meaning.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    and merriam-webster strikes again.
    Only in the New Cruelty could a DICTIONARY COMPANY be trolling the president.
    I will buy their products forever and ever.

    • efoveks

      He wasn’t trolled by just anybody as Merriam-Webster is the party girl of all dictionaries IMHO. These are the people who put it “conversate” cuz ‘everybody’s sayin’ it’.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        gah, disgusting. But at least everytime he abuses the english language, they’re there with “facts”.
        *But yeah, that’s some bullshit MW>

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Some days, I feel like this is like sandblasting a soda cracker.

  • anwisok

    “forced China to allow its currency to float back in 2104. It’s amazing!”

    Actually, $5 Feminist, that IS pretty amazing.

  • They shared that chocolate cake at Mar-a-Lago, and Donald Trump was so charming.

    Until the bill came.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b58df31bc13fb2e327e70a16f8ce8975685423162b131b6eb06e2787d510c576.png

  • wait! what?

    Donald’s current favorite song comes from the Aerosmiths:

    https://youtu.be/sZfZ8uWaOFI

  • lucidamente

    Did Trump Have a Stroke During the Interview? I’m guessing the journalists who interviewed him wondered if they were having a stroke.

    • snigsy

      I’m impressed that they didn’t break into loud guffaws. Their eyes must have been streaming holding all that in.

      • Rags

        I would love to have joined them down the pub afterwards.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    https://poll.qu.edu/national/release-detail?ReleaseID=2456 It turns out people also start questioning cults.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    heh, just told the TX mom they’re closing in on trump, her reply:
    “Yeah, but are they looking at his emails.”

    at first, I was like, nice one mom! Then I was like, oh MAN would that be some fascinating (and damning) shit.

    • He’s never used a computer in his life, so no Emails. That’s why he’s not a criminal, y’know!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        eh, but everybody else does…imagine this string:

        “POTUS says do this.”
        “That’s fucking dumb, we’ll get eviscerated.”
        “He says do it.”

        FIN

  • JMP

    Not only is Donald one of the dumbest people in America, but he assumes everyone else is as stupid and ignorant as he is, and so thinks that nobody knows extremely common facts and phrases that literally everyone who is not him already knew. Yes, everyone knows the phrase “priming the pump” – only it doesn’t refer to giving away the people’s money to the super-rich, but to government spending that actually does help the economy, unlike tax cuts. It’s insane, and dangerous.

    • PubOption

      I have also heard ‘priming the pump’ used in the context of bribery.

      • Oblios_Cap

        That’s more “greasing the palm”.

      • eka

        so he’s lying when he said he hadn’t heard it before?

      • Rags

        and foreplay….

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Donnie surrounds himself with yes-men and sycophants. He’d say shit like this before, and his employees would fawn all over him. He thinks he can pull the same shit with people who aren’t dependent on laughing at his jokes for their paycheck.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump: Part of the problem with NAFTA is that Mexico’s a VAT.

    Mexico’s a Value Added Tax? Who knew?

    Trump: You could actually make the case, that the 17 is doubled. You can make that case. You know, it’s 17 and it’s really 17 and it’s a double.

    I can never figure out the new math. It seems like gibberish to me.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      must be common core math.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    “If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”

    The federal government is for deciding which part of Not-America to bomb next, you silly liberals, not caring about our own citizens. That would be a ludicrous and dangerous abuse of power, making sure someone can get help to walk without being in excruciating pain.

  • Reximus

    My cat makes more sense than this imbecile

    and i dont even have a cat

    • GeminiCricket

      Imbecile libel!!

  • Chadwells

    Obligatory Billy Madison gifs go here.

    Holy fuckballs. How can anyone be this wilfully ignorant?!?! How has he NOT walked off a fucking cliff or into oncoming traffic in 70 years?!?! He is an absolute moron….in every way, shape and form.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Money. It is really good as an insulator.

  • jerrrrrrrricho

    “You know, it’s 17 and it’s really 17 and it’s a double.”

    Does anyone have a dipshit-to-English translator handy?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Again, this is the math that explains how he bankrupted himself running a casino.

    • DrBigHead

      I really, really tried to understand this. Was it a metaphor? An allegory? Unintelligible feces from the mouth of an idiot? I went with the last option.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I’ll bite…cause i’m more than the devil’s advocate – i’m on retainer.

        He’s saying, people say it’s 17, and it really is 17, unlike the unemployment numbers under obama (and like my unemployment numbers) but because I’m me, it’s actually twice that.

        Whadda ya think?

        • Finnabar87

          Still no.

        • DrBigHead

          Perhaps, but because it followed on the heels of a football reference, I just though his mind had switched to baseball

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      NO MATH NO MATH YOU’RE THE MATH!

    • mappo

      Eventually one of his lackeys will go on TV and provide a dipshit-to-bullshit translation. Will that work?

      • jerrrrrrrricho

        OOH LET IT BE HUCKABEE, I love that wonky eye of hers like she’s had a stroke. So sexy!

        Like her dad wearin’ a wig and a pink dress!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”

    I’m pretty sure that the people focusing on North Korea are not the same people who are handling health care issues. Unless he’s basically saying that Jared is his Mycroft Holmes, only way more stupid?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Even with brain damage that results in Mycroft being unable to form new memories, that’s libelz.

    • Anna Rompage

      I don’t know, maybe he’s onto something here… Perhaps if we offered the North Koreans comprehensive healthcare, they would overthrow their psychopathic leader and stop developing nukes…

      • OddMan

        That new THAAD missile defence is about $1.25 billion, for that money you could set up 500 health clinics financed at $2.5 million each. Now that is not a bad idea at all.

    • Roadstergal

      I don’t want the people who are good at fixing knees working on North Korea, and I don’t want the people good at intelligence and international relations working on my knee.

      Oh, and I don’t want someone who sucks at presidenting being president.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Considering my state, and many others, have legislatures full of dimwitted, bought and sold, braying jackasses, no – I would actually like the federal government to build a uniform healthcare plan. PRef. one in which there is a payer, but only a single one.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – YEAH reporter in the press conference that asked the creepy Homeland Security Adviser why he thinks putting data in the cloud is somehow more secure than keeping it offline.

    Thank you, reporter, for knowing how things work!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I guess the Advisor figures hackers don’t have access to ladders?

    • georgiaburning

      The cloud is a two-or three story building filled with drives and servers. They’re called servers because they bring dinner to hackers.

  • Turgid Love Skwerl
  • Anna Rompage

    Um, if you payed $15/month from the time you were 20 to 70, that would be a whopping total of $9000….

    Or in other words, the same amount your insurance company would pay if you or your wife had one baby, without complications, or less than the costs if you went in for routine check-ups every year throughout your life….

    • DrBigHead

      Maths is hard

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s your health money. You can use it however you want.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      and more costly! cause that 10 hour flight to wherever should be as nonproductive as possible.
      This’ll be a big boon for business, thanks Trumpy!

    • boyblue122

      like you cant trigger a bomb when the device is in cargo

      • OddMan

        This ban on laptops in the main cabin is strange. If the bad guys have figured out how to put enough explosive in a laptop to blow a hole in the plane then where does it matter where the laptop is? This type of device is supposed to be caught in X-Ray and bomb sniffer machines. As the article in the DB said there is a higher probability of a laptop fire from a bad battery, and those can be put out if in the main cabin, as they have caught fire at least 33 times in the past and been put out.
        The metrics don’t compute.

    • Roadstergal

      Hey, I’ll be (ostensibly) flying back from Switzerland in August. This is gonna suck.

    • OddMan

      Not to mention the possible danger from all those laptops in the cargo hold.

      http://www.cnbc.com/2017/03/23/laptop-ban-fire-plane-baggage-hold-trump.html

      EDIT: Which the above article in the Daily Beast also points out.

  • You know WHO ELSE had to prime the pump..?

    I’ll start: “Helen Keller?”

    • A chauffeur?

    • Ron Jeremy?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Jenna Jameson.

    • Brad H

      Ivanka? Marla? Melania?

    • Roadstergal

      John Snow on Broad Street?

    • Creepoman

      Me, on my first summer job irrigating the fields. We’d take a 50 gallon drum of water down to pump by the river, fill up the suction line and fire up the pump as quickly as we could. If we were too slow, you’d loose the prime and have to start all over. Took a little practice, but . . . oh, sorry, you were looking for Hitler.

    • arglebargle

      rustoleum?

    • Alexander Stallwitz
    • OddMan

      Probably the first was Ctesibius who invented the reciprocating pump back in 200 BC.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ctesibius

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      The Pee Hookers…allegedly?

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      My Grandma, who grew up with a pump in the kitchen.

    • GeminiCricket

      The original pump primers: the moneylenders at the temple….Jesus!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Well it’s an interesting question. I don’t think it’s ever been asked quite that way. But it really has to do with self-respect as a nation.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cc6ffb2cdad039cbec40875a46e539caea9bbb01bfc39dcde42bbe5a552599c.jpg

    • Roadstergal

      I lost all of my respect for our nation when Donnie Boy stepped into the Oval Office.

  • eka

    “Trump: I might release them after I’m out of office.” …

    So, either this is HUGE because Trump expects to not be in office at some point and here we thought he was going for lifetime rule, or (more likely) he never expects to be out of office and therefore his plan to release his tax returns is never.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      It’s huge either way because he’s admitting he’s a con artist. Not that it does us any good now.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      From prison.

    • Creepoman

      So what’s the latest over/under – four more months?

      • wait! what?

        Everyone directly under Donald is “yer fired!” Everyone over is Russian.

    • wait! what?

      “Yeah, that’s the ticket! I’ll release them through my “other” wife, Morgan Fairchild, whom I’ve seen naked!”

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Steve Cole

    I love the Economist. Yes, it is expensive. And difficult to get through every week. But at least there is some real content inside.

    • georgiaburning

      Keep at it, even when you disagree with them you learn a lot.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And they write good.

  • WeaselPoo

    I’m confused; is 17 doubled still just 17? or does doubling 17 result in a number that Trump has neither heard of before, nor made-up a name or number or expression for yet, so he just using” 17 doubled ” as ‘bqwatvr’. Or does 17 + 17 = 25 points, which = 17????
    Bqwatvr it is , it explains a lot about whatever the fuck Trump is talking about.

    • It will never come out to 42, though.

      • Oblios_Cap

        So it’s obviously wrong.

      • Marsupial99

        What do you get if you multiply 6 by 9?

        • Not even that explains TRUMP.

          While we weren’t paying attention somebody must of crashed a shipload of useless Cheeto-based beings into the Earth a few million years ago

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You know, since I’ve been talking about currency manipulation with respect to them and other countries, they stopped.

    Um

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/33b2a512674280d7a56134cdb21db229f39136d2f4a505cbbc4047af27f1eb7f.jpg

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    “Prime the Pump is what I yell when I’m ‘bating to thoughts of Ivanka. That’s a new use for the term that I just made up. I’m brilliant. The best.”

  • Creepoman

    “. . . I mean anywhere from $400bn to $900bn.
    Mr Mnuchin: Correct.
    President Trump: That all goes into tax reduction.”

    I pity the stenographer with Mr. Ass-Mnuchin – practically impossible to transcribe the sound of saliva dripping off fangs.

  • exinkwretch

    Trump is the dumb rich kid who only got a diploma because his dad was a huge donor to the prep school and the teachers were tired of him taking up space.

    • Anna Rompage

      You mean Trump’s dad is really Betsy DeVos?

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Plus he kept punching the teachers (he said it’s true, so it’s probably a lie)

  • shivaskeeper

    You know, when I got out of the Army I didn’t bring my English to Gibberish translation book with me, I think I should have. What the fucking hell is this idiot talking about?

    I would assume this is the parsed version of the interview. The raw tapes have to be astounding in it’s nonsensical meandering.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    This national nightmare cannot be over soon enough.

    • Shoto

      Our long national nightmare is over not over.

      • Finnabar87

        It’s going to take a long time to end this fucker.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    God, I can’t even blockquote anymore. This is just too fucking embarrassing FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fbf2b1925de5fb8a8b9879a17171ac0b4f7da795b52274c8844cdc62739ca52b.jpg

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    OT? Gallup Daily Tracking has Trump approve/disapprove at 38/55 (-17). A four point drop since yesterday. This is first daily tracking since Comey firing. Gallup tracking is a three day poll so only one-third of the sample was after Comey.

  • proudgrampa

    I loved James Joyce’s stream-of-consciousness stuff.

    Trump, not so much (stream-of-unconsciousness?).

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “Fill it up. Regular “. Have you ever heard that before? I made it up last year.

    • snark-lurker

      fill what with regular whut?

  • Chadwells

    After reading this interview….

    https://youtu.be/JxkWJcFhfkE

    • Parakeetist

      “I live in Hell! I live in Hell!”

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    BREAKING: Rosenstein & Burr at Hill in mtg with Burr & Warner. Are they discussing appointment of Special Counsel?https://t.co/k8zaLgbxeO— Karen Germaine (@KarenGermaine) May 11, 2017

    • Finnabar87

      Rosenstein wants his good rep back.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Interesting- this meeting is different than the already scheduled hearing for today and if it just involves Burr and Warner it could well be the prelude for requesting a special prosecutor

  • OddMan

    Look what he just did
    Trump to NBC’s Lester Holt: Comey’s ‘a showboat,’ ‘I was going to fire regardless of recommendation’

    “Trump said he was acting at the recommendation of Atty. Gen. Jeff Sessions and Deputy Atty. Gen. Rod J. Rosenstein” just yesterday. He can’t keep his story straight from one day to the next and covers it all with mendacity.

    https://twitter.com/NBCNightlyNews/status/862713274676072448

    • Shoto

      “I was going to fire Comey anyway,”

      That’s our idiot story, and we’re sticking to it.

    • anwisok

      So, Rosenstein forever destroyed his reputation for nothing? Awwwwwww. I feel so bad for him. Fucking Quisling.

  • janecita

    I personally hate every single person, that voted for this ignorant, incompetent clown. Including members of my own family, fuck them all!

    Ps. Sorry, I’m very cranky after my first mammogram:-(

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I feel the same. And my mammogram was 6 months ago.

    • snark-lurker

      it is over with now

      • janecita

        The boob squishing might be over, but Trump is still president.

        • snark-lurker

          oh yeah didn’t know that was it

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I think I posted this exact same thing just a few days ago – minus the mammogram thingy – mine isn’t until next month.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Ugh, sorry for that. There has to be a better way of checking our boobs besides crushing them flat.

      • 52camellias

        Mammograms are the only time I am grateful for my sad, flat little breasts.

        • Shanzgood

          Also cute bras!

          • BosGrl “Unmasked”

            Mine have always been too big for comfort and too big for cute bras :(.

          • grindstone

            Try Fantasie and Freya bras. They make ’em for we endowed ones, and they’re pretty as all hell.

          • BosGrl “Unmasked”

            Cool- thanks!

          • Shanzgood

            Bummer! I lost a bunch of weight accidentally and went into cute bra territory but it’s kind of weird. I’ve always been what I considered a healthy weight for my height but now I look at myself and go OMG EAT SOME CHEESEBURGERS ALREADY.

          • BosGrl “Unmasked”

            My Katie was like that. She used to get angry because she really did eat, she was just naturally thin. I have a whole box of her cute bras that no one will wear but I can’t get rid of them…

          • Shanzgood

            It’s hard to get rid of things like that. You can donate them when you’re read, maybe. It took my mom s long time after Dad died and I was kind of shocked when I went to visit and found his closets empty. And a little disappointed because I wanted to sniff his wool jackets again.

            I’m getting some of my things together to give away at a meeting organized for this weekend by someone for a local trans support group. The women sometimes find it difficult to shop for themselves and frequently can’t afford to because some of them are coming back from homelessness after having lost their jobs and families and homes because of transitioning. I normally donate to the DAV but I have friends in the group so it feels more useful.

            Also (((hugs)))

            I read something recently by someone about loss. They said it never hurts less, it just hurts less often. Or something like that.

          • BosGrl “Unmasked”

            I love that idea, Shanz, of donating to trans women. I’ve been asked to donate to sober houses, too. I like both ideas. When I am ready, I’m keeping some things, so that I have clothes to smell, too. I know what you mean about that. I’ve been a bit down lately. It helps to have Katie’s things around me right now.

            <3

          • Shanzgood

            When my kids were born, the first thing I did without even thinking about it was sniff them. It’s a bonding thing. I still huff them (discreetly) when we hug and even though they’re mostly grown now they still smell like their same original individual selves but they still smell like they’re mine.

            So you keep that box of your daughter’s things for as long as you need to for whatever reason you want to and don’t ever feel strange about any of it. Even when you feel like it’s time to let it go.

          • SadDemInTex

            I just donated clothes to a local women’s shelter. Wish I’d thought of trans women! I have really cute (and very clean) thongs. Should I donate?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Small breasts are better for your back, too. I’m a big fan.

          • janecita

            I like having small breasts, I’m 40, and they are still perky;-)

        • Annie Jomes

          I had reduction surgery done a few years ago; best decision ever. And the difference between an exam of my 34H boobs and my new, small and flat and THE BEST EVAR 34B boobs is huge. I went into the first exam post -surgery expecting that it would take at least several minutes, as it always had before. When the techinician took like three whole pix of boob 1 and then said “okay, let’s switch sides” I was amazed. “That’s it?” “Yep, a whole lot easier now, isn’t it?” Yes, yes it is.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I say that about having my prostate checked. There has to be a better way.

        • BosGrl “Unmasked”

          Do they crush your testicles between glass? Because otherwise…

          • Oblios_Cap

            Thank God, No. Ms. Oblio has related the joy of mammograms to me and I’ll take the digital exam.

          • janecita

            Right?! Men really don’t know how lucky they are!

      • rosenbomb

        This is why I come to Wonkette…to learn what the future looks like for me. Oof.

    • Finnabar87

      You need happy time red pandas, stat!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Having your tit in a wringer would put one out of sorts.

      • grindstone

        Did you just make up that phrase??

    • Joe Beese

      Mrs. Beese is still getting over her parents – educated, but rich, and a little evil – voting Trump.

      After every new atrocity, we both whine sarcastically, like teenagers, “Thanks, Mom.”

      • janecita

        My mother in law is in a wheelchair, always complaining about her health, but she rolled her stupid ass down to the polling station to vote for Trump.

    • Shanzgood

      I was really stressed out after my first one when the radiologist told me to come back in 6 months for another one because something about dense tissue. Gah!

      • janecita

        That really sucks!

    • Joe Beese

      After my first prostate exam, the doc apologized for any… unpleasantness of the procedure.

      I said, “I console myself with the thought that it wasn’t the highlight of your day either.”

      • DrBigHead

        Well said!

    • grindstone

      I’ve had the conversation with my husband that we’re not going to bail out anyone on either side of our family when the medical bills start to hit the fan, but neither of us know if we can be that hard-hearted. I can sure tell them what I think, though.

  • Shanzgood
  • anwisok
  • Moebym Reborn

    Trump knows that 1776 is when AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! was born with Gawd’s blessing from the heavens (insert Blingee here of crying eagle in front of the American flag) and China is thousands of years old.

    Facts that even fourth-graders know.

    And that’s all that I could really stomach to read from this “interview”.

    • boyblue122

      He has the best brain, you know. Many people are saying. Believe me

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      although, one can’t help but wonder that america, like china, has had peoples/tribes/clans for thousands of years – just as china has had dynasties and various governments.

      in other words, he’s (once again and very predictably) assuming life begins with 1776 and not the original colonies…or the native peoples.

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        Exactly! Well, as far as he’s concerned, the world didn’t start until the day he was born.

  • Claire
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Parakeetist

      Gotta stock up on ice cream right now! Republicans is goin to jail!!!

    • Joe Beese

      I do declare. The nation’s capitol is just a flurry of activity this fine morning!

    • DainBramage

      If they want to arrest every single person the WH, I’m fine with that.

      • Claire

        I will personally drive to DC to hold the US Marshalls’ earrings.

        • DainBramage

          I’ll meet you there, though google says it’s 2765.3 miles (41 hours) from Seattle.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Oh man….I mean, this asshole is setting himself on fire. He just went on live TV and savaged Comey….giving him nicknames and insulting him.

    If Comey was one thing…he was very well respected and greatly loved by the folks in the FBI.

    They are going to come after Fuckface with a vengeance for defaming him.

    “Report: Drumpf’s claim that Comey said he’s not under investigation ‘farcical’”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/332964-comey-associates-trumps-claim-about-comey-meetings-farcical

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Even “literally farcical,” which I suppose is more farcical than farcical.

      • I think it means the chauffeur is under the bed and the maid is in the closet?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And each wearing the other’s panties.

          • Parakeetist

            A game of Clue gone wrong.

    • Joe Beese

      Literally farcical, he said!

      That’s a bad look, son.

  • chazmanr

    “We Americans are a timid bunch, overmodest and self-effacing.”

    Shouldn’t there have been a “/s” after that?

    • Nah. Some truths are just self-evident.

  • Finnabar87

    Everything isn’t meant to be okay.

    • Major_Major_Major

      SNAFUBAR, a new level of incompetence from on high.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Umm. Did someone explain rogered the n the lorry? My English English isn’t good.

    • Parakeetist

      I believe a lorry is a truck.

      • Oblios_Cap

        And a rogering is, well, anal sex. It makes pirates jolly.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Ahhh. Ok. A slight mixing of metaphors, but in a good way.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I believe they were going for a play on British slang, what with the Economist being a Limey publication.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I was thinking that also too, but my anatomical understanding of rogering is falling short. And I’m even open minded!

    • timpundit

      “Roger me roundly” was a line from classic SNL “Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute”

      http://snltranscripts.jt.org/78/78ofredgarvin.phtml

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    OT – Hey Y’all. A nice lady here gave me a ride to the supermarket. Turns out she’s friends with that Archie Bunker-looking asshole that gossips about me. I mentioned that all the old men staring and gossiping are why I don’t hang out with the neighbors. She was like “he’s old, I’ll talk to him”, and I was like “Don’t bother, I’ve had enough of old white males in my life”, and I told her a bit of what growing up was like.

    On the positive, I saved a dollar on milk, and the lady’s cat seems to like me, I helped her carry her purchases up.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Maybe if you let them get to know you… ? Also, if the cat likes you, you’re in with that lady :D.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I’m tired of letting old assholes get to know me. This asshole tells everyone “that’s really a man, you know” so fuck him, and fuck them all.

        • BosGrl “Unmasked”

          I just hate that these people are upsetting you.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I feel like that old man is what happens when people don’t grow up with enough Salt-n-Pepa in their lives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35bw3gbDyQY

          • NastyBossetti

            I only just realized now how much this album shaped me.

          • timpundit

            Wow, forgot all about that song!

          • timpundit

            Can it really be 24 years ago me and my friends used to party to this? God.,

    • MynameisBlarney

      Easy there Anna!
      Keep up that shit, and the next thing ya know, she’ll be bringing you cookies and other baked goods…

      Wait…no…never mind.

      Carry on.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I’m a white male. How old is “old”?

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    ANYONE ELSE WOULD BE RAVAGED BY CRITICISM OVER THIS SHIT ESPECIALLY A DEMOCRAT. THIS FUCKFACE SHOULD NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS SHIT. THE REPUBLICANS ARE COWARDS AND FUCKING SCUMBAGS.

    • Joe Beese

      On the other hand…

    • snark-lurker

      you know that & i know that but they have no mirrors

    • msanthropesmr

      Again. Do not rage stroke.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Deep Breaths. OOOHHHHMMM….

    • anwisok

      Water is wet. A hammer will fall down when you let go of it. The sky is blue. Doesn’t mean we need to get all shouty.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Oh mama, Sean Spicer sure took the right week off… Sarah Fuckleebee is getting LIT UP with the best questions and is completely flustered.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      SQUIRREL!

      • Vincent Ricola

        She’s reading pre-prepared Comey quotes from Democrats LOLOLOLOL.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Because we can’t be upset that Comey was fired in this manner while still thinking he needed to be fired. I swear, they apply their on/off switch settings to everything…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Spicer is probably going to be Designated For Assignment soon. Probably send him to be the press officer for the FBI field office in Omaha.

      • Anna Rompage

        Witness protection would be my guess…

      • Major_Major_Major

        Naval reserve duty activation, likely to be embedded with one of the teams and parachuted into Nevercomingbackistan.

    • Joe Beese

      “Took”?

      “Force fed”, by some reports.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Lazy Eye can’t handle the truth!

    • Anna Rompage

      I’m wondering how long it’ll be before she loses her temper and kicks some reporter like the dog her brother attacked…

      • Treg Brown

        You misspelled “murdered” my friend.

    • Rags

      Spicer is done.

    • proudgrampa

      This is so freakin’ HILARIOUS!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      You’d think SHS would be somewhat contrite after lying to the American people (on her daughter’s birthday!) yesterday. As I recall, Hillary failing to call BENGHAZI!!!1! terrorism until Sept 13 was reason to lock her up.

    • Doug Langley

      Spicey must be feeling so pretty right now . . .

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXzNufNaVQo

  • boyblue122

    Wonder if he gave the Economist a copy of the electoral map

  • snigsy

    Sara Lee is still flogging the “Democrats should be happy that Comey was fired.” And getting testy.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Ooops, owe you a Coke.

      • snigsy

        We can share it.

      • Doug Langley

        Just push the red button.

    • Slithytoves

      She’s losing her shit pretty quickly.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Anybody watching today’s press propaganda conference.

    Whoa Nelly

    • snigsy

      She just said “protecting people abroad here.” Is Trumpism contagious?

    • Vecchioivan

      “Why are you people asking me all these damn questions?”

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    OT: Sarah with the eyelashes is so annoying. At least Spicey provides some comedy. She just pushed that “WHY AREN’T THE DEMS HAPPY?” about Comey’s firing.

    • Slithytoves

      Her mouth moves weird when she’s lying.

      • Major_Major_Major

        It opens and closes?

        • Slithytoves

          And goes side to side.

  • timpundit

    I wonder if that nice Mr Obama needs a Special Prosecutor job?

    • Internet Hitler

      His taxes are still the best!

    • proudgrampa

      That idea makes me positively ecstatic!

    • SisterArtemis

      Not enough upvotes :)

    • Mehmeisterjr

      His wife would be fine, too.

      Though, to be realistic, I doubt if the Republicans will put the thumb quite that firmly in his eye.

  • Internet Hitler

    That’s a very interesting question, FDF. And by that I mean that’s a question I don’t want to answer, so let’s talk about the question while I think up a way to change the subject.

  • NastyBossetti

    But ultimately, you know I use the expression, “If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”
    What a clever expression! I can see that catching on with the general populace. “You know what they say! If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s already a part of my daily lexicon. I am so jelly of Dear Leader. Such smart, much brain.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      With my bad knee I don’t really care who focuses on it or who fixes it, just that it gets fixed.

      • NastyBossetti

        But what about North Korea?! Who will fix that when everyone is too busy fixing your knee?!

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          But I thought government was bad? It’s good if it fixes North Korea but bad if it fixes my knee? My head hurts now too.

    • cmd resistor

      I do believe I read him saying that very thing the other day, to the point that when I was reading this, I thought, wait, is this an old interview or a new one. Guess he was so impressed with himself for coming up with it that he will just fit it into any interview.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The guy who whined his way out of military service for his bone spur thinks a bum knee is nothing much?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    speaking of SQUIRREL!

    White House comments on Trump’s new voter fraud panel

    President Trump signed an executive order today to form a commission on voter fraud and elections, deputy press secretary Sarah Sanders confirmed.

    This is an action that Trump has discussed since the beginning of his administration, it will be spearheaded by Vice President Mike Pence and controversial Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/11/politics/trump-election-integrity-voter-fraud/

    • Internet Hitler

      Nobody knows as much about voter fraud, gerrymandering and suppression as much as congressional Republicans.

    • Certified Green Bastard

      Hopefully, this lil dumpster fire will have Kobach out on his ass n unhireable. http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article149757479.html

    • Mehmeisterjr

      To be fair, if anybody knows about voter fraud it’s Kris Kobach.

  • proudgrampa

    Well, that’s reassuring. I’m not gonna “die in the streets.”

    They’re just gonna haul my ass into a garage or something… I guess?

    • Shanzgood

      Dumpster.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Your organs don’t harvest themselves.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      and then charge your relatives for it.

    • DainBramage

      Kinda like trigger happy home defenders. If you shoot someone, make sure the body falls inside the house.

  • DainBramage

    I don’t know how any serious reporter or world leader can keep a straight face when talking to the orange shitgibbon.

    • Doug Langley

      I don’t know why they feel they should.

    • SisterArtemis

      Would trump even notice if they didn’t?

      • DainBramage

        I think any perceived irreverence is exactly the kind of thing he would notice.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    You would think, in the national interest, the Repcon’s would order his staff to throw a leash around the guy and keep him from talking to any reporter, at least if they can’t take away his Twitter. The rest of the world would be laughing LTAO at this empty headed drivel, if it were not that DonClown is the one who launches the nukes.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Trump: We’re the highest-taxed nation in the world. Have you heard that expression before, for this particular type of an event?

    Priming the pump?
    Trump: Yeah, have you heard it?

    Yes.
    Trump: Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven’t heard it. I mean, I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good. It’s what you have to do.

    It’s…
    Trump: Yeah, what you have to do is you have to put something in before you can get something out.

    OK, I’m going to stop you right there. Clearly, you got this from The Onion.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Can you imagine the look on Mnuchin’s face behind Donny-boy as he answered these questions. I imagine it was similar to the expression one would have pissing out flaming gasoline while trying to extinguish the flames with an icepick. It’s the expression I make everytime I hear the orange ramblings

      • DrBigHead

        I gotta believe that each and every person associated with this administration goes home at night and gets stinking drunk. Either that or pass out from laughter at the stupidity of the electorate. Or perhaps some combination of both.

  • Anna Rompage

    OMG, it’s day two of Sarah’s fashion show of her infamous Wal Mart collection…

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      It’s an atrocity.

    • snigsy

      It goes well with the biscuits and gravy.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        That isn’t biscuits and gravy. That’s diseased- dog-tortured-and-set-on-fire and gravy. The traditional Huckabee family Thanksgiving entrée. The perfect way to break bread with kinfolk and favorite serial killers.

  • Trump: OK. So we have a pool for people that are having difficulty. We have got a pool. It’s a high-risk pool.

    Death Pool. Sexy time for The Olds.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aWWK944_460s.jpg

  • Crank Tango

    It’s called fluffing, a term I invented.

  • Jgb979

    “Priming the pump?
    Trump: Yeah, have you heard it?

    Yes.
    Trump: Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven’t heard it. I mean, I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good.”

    HOW COULD HE HAVE HEARD OF IT IF YOU JUST CAME UP WITH IT A FEW DAYS AGO YOU MONSTROUS BLOB OF SENTIENT GOOAHHHHRGBLEBARGLE

    sorry

    I think I’m better

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Who knew that Trump invented Keynesian economics just a couple of days ago?

      • Oblios_Cap

        That sounds pretty liberal of him.

        • UnsaltedSinner

          But he doesn’t know that.

      • Doug Langley

        My God, is there anything this man can’t do?

        • NastyBossetti

          Only everything.

    • SisterArtemis

      I just through my own “HOW COULD HE HAVE HEARD OF IT IF YOU JUST CAME UP WITH IT A FEW DAYS AGO YOU MONSTROUS BLOB OF SENTIENT GOOAHHHHRGBLEBARGLE” and you have my sympathies/empathies… here, have a virtual drink *clink!*

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Mix of Rumor and confirmed HUMINT:

    GOP consulting firm in Annapolis, MD raided. Confirmed.

    Rumor that firm is “Strategic Campaign Group”.

  • maxneanderthal

    The verbal dysenteric rice water stools of word mush that emanates from Orange-huge-tan’s mouth can’t really be described as “word salad” any more. A salad has some structure, and distinct flavours. This is more akin to a primordial soup of syllables hammered out by an infinite number of brain stem dead monkeys.

    • I read that interview before leaving for work this AM.

      Never go full trump in the AM

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Poetical!

    • proudgrampa

      Verbal Dysenteric Rice Water Stools is the name of my new Alternative Rock Post Punk garage band.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Bisque libel !

  • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump: “Calling Sarah Huckabee Sanders……SooooooooooooooWeeeeeeeeeee! SooooooooooooooWeeeeeeeeeee! Where’s that Razorback?”

      Trump: “Don’t know if she can replace Spicer. She’s a 2 maybe a 3 on a good day. Hell, he’s a 3 or 4.”

    • William
    • Claire

      OKAY BUT CAN SHE PLEASE NOT DRESS LIKE THAT. For real, can she have some respect for the dignity of the office and not look so slovenly? Wear clothes that fit. Do something with your hair. Ditch that string of gum-machine pearl substitutes.

      I don’t even know why I’m so enraged by how she dresses. I swear I’m not usually that shallow. It just seems so emblematic of this administration’s complete disrespect for everyone else on the planet.

      • William

        I’m usually not effected by hillbilly fashion. I live in Maine, which is pretty much Alabama with snow, however…. I’m guessing that the same people who advise her on wardrobe are the same people who edit Trumps comments. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a691d06e0b68c683b2f99da61eb20ee9af816335fb4507eb82095a3200656028.jpg

      • cmd resistor

        Considering Trump’s obsession with appearances, it is a bit odd. I keep wondering, though, why he couldn’t get a slicker lying press person. There must be lots of them out there willing to sell their souls?

        • Claire

          I could give him a dozen names out of my LinkedIn contacts. Hell, he could just drive by an MBA department in a pickup truck and load slicker press people into the back.

          • cmd resistor

            It’s not like they have to particularly know anything about facts to get up there and make up shit, either.

    • rocktonsam

      maybe honeysuckelbe should that bra that Stephanie uses for her bewbs.

    • MynameisBlarney
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Lyin Sean is out so Sarah Huckabee Sanders is at the podium spewing bullshit. The reason there are so many contradictory versions of Comey firing story is because the Democrats are stupid poopy heads.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Damn you, Obama!

      • proudgrampa

        It IS his fault, you know…

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    She wore a pearl necklace
    She wore a pearl necklace
    She wore a pearl necklace
    She wore a pearl necklace
    She wore a pearl necklace
    She wore a pearl necklace

  • Doug Langley
  • Mintie

    Wait just a second here–did he just say Florida’s doing great with Rick Scott’s healthcare shenanigans?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So, 45 is in insane deflection mode. Signing an executive order today setting up his voter fraud panel.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/11/us/politics/trump-voter-fraud.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I think its official name is Taxpayer Funded Charade.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      It’s about time somebody gets to the bottom of this. I just invented that “getting to the bottom” thing.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Priming my whoozit too. I made that up.

  • boyblue122
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the rats are starting to abandon ship

      • boyblue122

        need more rats

      • Claire

        He’s one of the rattiest, too. I wonder if this is payback for pinning the AHCA debacle on the Freedom Caucus.

        • BosGrl “Unmasked”

          Enemy of my enemy, etc.

      • proudgrampa

        Holy crap!

        Where’s the popcorn?

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Well, it took a very long time for enough of them to abandon Nixon, so let’s not get our hopes up.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I thought the rats were PILOTING the ship.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It’s rats all the way down

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Can’t blame them. They don’t want to become part of Donald’s upcoming Salted Rat Dick Feast.

    • Doug Langley

      Hmm . . . seems this isn’t the first time he’s been at odds with Donnie:

      http://www.wzzm13.com/news/politics/michigan-politics/amash-explains-views-to-voters-at-town-hall-meeting/430304014

  • cheetojeebus

    Watching the presser, A clever phrase came to mind, I don’t know if you’ll get it. I mean, well, I just invented it. So, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! Good right?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I think the ship is sinking and this Administration is rearranging the deck chairs. I just made that up.

    • proudgrampa

      Are you priming the pump?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        He’s greasing the skids. I just made that up, too.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Is that like lubing the poop chute?

          • cheetojeebus

            Hold on, that would involve taking deliveries where you’re doing your shipping.

    • snark-lurker

      BRILLIANT!Watson

    • Actually you are channeling us British where “Don’t pee up my leg etc.” is an old joke

      And I has a dumb

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Did someone say pee?

      -Donnie

      • UnsaltedSinner

        He invented that, you know.

        • Al Swearengen

          More and more people are finding out about it!

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Dolt also invented pissing into the wind and is testing it out in varying weather conditions.

    • Al Swearengen

      I know another old country saying: “Too dumb to pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on the heel.”

      Also, “Close cover before striking”.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Patent it before I do.

    • FlemmishSpy

      You’re pulling my finger.

    • NellCote71

      Not even Russian whoors?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    it really is like uncontrollable diarhhea

    Trump: Combative administration ‘could be my fault’

    (CNN)President Donald Trump acknowledged in a new interview that the combative nature of his administration could be his fault — though he also cites “a great meanness” in society that’s to blame.

    “It could be my fault,” Trump told Time magazine when asked directly if he feels his administration has been too combative. “I don’t want to necessarily blame, but there’s a great meanness out there that I’m surprised at.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/11/politics/donald-trump-time-combative/index.html

    • proudgrampa

      For Fuck’s Sake.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      I’m surprised he didn’t say “I know you are, but what am I?”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Yes Donnie, people hate you. I know you just think they’re being mean. You have the emotional maturity of a 3 year old. When are you going to start calling us “doodyheads”?

      • DainBramage

        3 year old libelz!

    • Claire

      Yeah, many of the rest of us were pretty goddamn surprised by it too.

    • Crank Tango

      Fucking typical snowflake.

    • NastyBossetti

      You wouldn’t be surprised at the meanness if you had the ability of self-reflection. You would see it right there, in your own beady little squished up eyes.

    • DainBramage

      Poor Donnie Snowflake. I guess his repeated insults to everybody he doesn’t like don’t count as meanness.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He misspelled “shocked, shocked”.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Wasn’t his wife supposed to take up the mantle against cyber bullying? “Ve neet to stahp cybah boolean”

      What happened to that?

      My guess is The Donad assumed (as he does with everything) that she was talking about him, and therefore had to put a stop to it.

    • Shag D

      Its not mean to hate your destructive policies. Grr.
      And he talks about respect for veterans while freezing VA hiring even though they have 45000 unfilled positions. And those positions are often offered to veterans first.GDI

  • rocktonsam

    “his wheelhouse” no Dimwit your wheelhouse is lying, pussygrabbing, lawsuits, investigations, scandals and pussygrabbing.
    weak sad

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Update Breaking News!

    “Strategic Campaign Group”, a GOP fundraising/consulting firm had its offices raided by the Washington D.C. FBI today despite being located in Annapolis, MD.

    Confirmed.

    RUMINT: GOP operatives implicated in laundering Russian money for campaign funds.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Shit could be gettin’ real, y’all.

    • Holy crap!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      words is- they’re after Reince, Pence and Ryan

      • Certified Green Bastard

        ALL OF THEM, KATIE?!?

        …sry, I got excited.

        • NellCote71

          Not for the first time I wish I had a dick. I would have the biggest hard on, or whatever they call it.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I bet you can borrow one from someone.

      • Holy shit

      • Sister Suffragette

        Oh please please please please . . . .

      • SadDemInTex

        Oh please please please!!!!

      • BreakingDeadMen

        What about Snappy?

    • maxneanderthal

      Do I get the feeling they’re currently so far up the Amazon of all shit creeks, they’ve even forgotten their leaving the paddle back on the dock somewhere around Manaus….

      • C4TWOMAN

        Their native bearers have abandoned them a long time ago…

        • maxneanderthal

          ..and the circling condors are now watching with professional interest…

          • C4TWOMAN

            “I fear this is the last entry, for we have been wandering lost in this wilderness for months now. Alas, I am the last, after McAllister nobly just ‘stepped out for a walk’ last night.”
            *burp*

          • maxneanderthal

            “He was a regular anthropopha-guy”…

          • SigDeFlyinMonky

            “Aguirre, the Wrath of Trump”

    • Joe Beese

      I have a feeling their phone monkeys do not actually look like this.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5eca16588e4e3b52ffbb784cdac3d7db45c295d3401be46bb566e639553aca28.png

    • C4TWOMAN

      Linky?

    • Jenny

      Entire republican party is going down. Couldn’t happen to better people. Think Chaffetz knew? He did. Totally knew.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Say hello to President Hatch

      • NellCote71

        Foot boo-boo my ass.

    • NellCote71

      This going to be good.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        dunno– rumors seem wrong so far.

    • SadDemInTex

      Really?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    This is the part in the third act where Columbo turns up to unravel the case, isn’t it?

    • “Oh, just one more question, Mr. President…”

      • aureolaborealis

        Jinx!

    • aureolaborealis

      “Just one more question, Mr. President.”

    • Doug Langley

      Columbo could mail in the solution to this case.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        “I must say, I found you disappointing. I mean, your incompetence. You left enough clues to sink a ship.”

        • Doug Langley

          “I just don’t know how you’ll explain how the gun which you fired a year ago ended up in the suspect’s closet.”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
    -Hunter S. Thompson

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Yet another day in the reality show called “WTF USA”?

  • Joe Beese
    • boyblue122

      Cant have anyone upstage the Drumpf show

    • cmd resistor

      And his neckties were much nicer than yours, asshole.

    • snigsy

      “Old Man Dribble.”

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Obviously a good technique to, say, rid us of Jeff Sessions would be to put him on teevee at every opportunity, ask him his Superbowl picks, get his opinions on popular reality shows, etc.

      Treat him like a superstar. Trump will detonate.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • OrdinaryJoe

    There are no mulligan’s in presidential elections. Too bad.

  • snigsy

    “Many people at the FBI are happy with the president’s decision.” Okay, Sarah Arglebee, define “many.”

    • Anna Rompage

      2….

      • C4TWOMAN

        4 at least: Bannon, Jared, Ivanka, Kellyscam….

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      She said “countless people” have told her so. Also said she doesn’t know many people in the FBI. She has Trump Derangement Syndrome. SAD!

      • snigsy

        And she also dismissed some questions as “semantics.” Jeez.

        • cmd resistor

          Semantics are known to be elitist.

      • Certified Green Bastard

        “countless” as in “none. Nothing to count.”

      • Al Swearengen

        When she says “legal scholars” why the hell doesn’t the reporter say “Who?” Make her give some damn names or show she’s lying.

    • Moebym Reborn

      What about the many more who aren’t? They don’t count?

    • Doug Langley

      “Most of them!”
      “Most?”
      “Some of them!”
      “Some?”
      “A few.”
      “Go on . . .”
      “Roger Dinglepuss.”

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      She’s using the Detritus counting system. “One, two…many…lots!”

    • cmd resistor

      Just like the law enforcement people quoted in the Deputy AG memo were “unanimous.” Well, yeah, unanimous among the people I quoted in this stupid memo.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        Maybe she means “inanimate.”

    • maxneanderthal

      Reminds me of Discworld trolls counting. “1,2,3, many.”
      ” Many-1, many-2, many-3.”
      ” Lots.”

  • C4TWOMAN

    Many People Are Finding Out that China is Like, REALLY OLD

    I hear it’s done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more.

    • jesterpunk

      Wait until he learns that other countries besides China where around before the US.

      • C4TWOMAN

        “Britain was around in Roman times? WHOA IF TRUE!”

        • jesterpunk

          Did you know Egypt was also around back then too?

        • therblig

          and britain is so small because they carried most of the land over here in boats to build america. little known fact.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          “Some people say, you know, have you seen this electoral map? I’m President! Some people say, Britain was around a long time ago, long, long time ago, I invented the word “Britain,” did you know that? But then they say it was Roman. Look, I have a good brain, the best brain, and I can tell you right now, Rome is in Italy. Italy, right? And now they’re saying, it’s in Britain. They don’t even speak Italian! I do, of course, because I speak all the languages. Tacos. That’s Italian. Most people don’t know that.”

          • C4TWOMAN

            Well, that settles it! Romans never invaded Britain because we’re not all speaking Italian. Ciao…I mean, Tacio!

    • Doug Langley

      “Just check out my buffet! You wouldn’t BELIEVE how old it is!!”

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    My grade. She matches up with Spicer in bullshit, but doesn’t have as much stamina.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Her wardrobe is about equal, though. Ick.

      • proudgrampa

        I can’t wait to see what SNL does to her…

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          Bobby Moynihan, hopefully

  • JDM

    Not only is “prime the pump”, regarding economics, older than Trump himself is, he used it several times last year on the campaign trail. Now he says he just thought of it a couple days ago. Folks, that’s even scarier than simply not knowing it. That’s the moment when you realize that dad has advanced Alzheimer’s, when he forgets that the family hasn’t owned a dog since Sparky died in 1962.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I loved Sparky

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        He didn’t die – he’s on a farm!!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          My dad is at that farm – I didn’t see Sparky….

          • BosGrl “Unmasked”

            :(

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I always knew he was.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Listening to the snips of the interview with Lester Holt… he sounds like my kids when they started double talking.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Soon he will start peeing in the refrigerator because he thinks it’s the bathroom. Then he’ll set fire to the house because he left a pan on the burner and went off to watch tv.

      • proudgrampa

        “I’ve done that, man!!!”

    • proudgrampa

      Ayup. This is getting VERY worrisome…

    • maxneanderthal

      But I took him for a walk only yesterday!

    • Shag D

      Hand priming the pump is about the government investing money.he’s doing exactly the opposite

  • Michael R

    Sarah Huckabee , you’re our next contestant

    https://s18.postimg.org/rtxpg8gl5/rachel_stupid_or_nefarious.png

  • As a (very) long time economist reader, their change in tone with trump is simply stunning. Around a year ago, they dropped all pretense that was qualified or honest or anything less than a disaster. No equivalency at all.

    Very refreshing.

    • Certified Green Bastard

      & yet, they never made it onto​ the Fake News Trumpdar…

      • cmd resistor

        Too hard to read. Although, didn’t Sarah Palin tell Katie Couric that was one of the things she read?

        • Certified Green Bastard

          Probably & thinking of her saying that while I picture her squinting & struggling to read beer labels in the grocery store made me smile.

          So, thanks! :)

      • aureolaborealis

        Too furrin.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I would like to see states taking over health care

    I totally see Kansas raising their taxes to pay for it.

    • Al Swearengen

      Hard pass. I’ve got friends and family that live in red state hellholes. Not all of them are rightwing assholes.

      • C4TWOMAN

        We have to remember many of these “red” states have 40-50% Blue voters or are gerrymandered. Yeh, let’s not throw everyone under the bus.
        Now if we could put all the racist/Tea Partiers ON a bus, that would be lovely….

        • Al Swearengen

          Agreed.

  • boyblue122

    OT – Pretty interesting way of looking at Drumpf tweets

    https://twitter.com/GeorgeLakoff/status/862729690624151552

  • snigsy

    Just watched clips from the NBC interview. Who told Trump this was a good idea?

    • cmd resistor

      TeeVee.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I fell like we are in a giant “Jackass” show minus the shopping carts.

      • jesterpunk

        Jackass libelz, they at least knew they where doing stupid shit that would get them hurt.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Bubbles would like to look for those shopping carts. And I could make a case for it being Trailer Park Boys, but I think donald would have to be the Abonible Snowfucker….

        • Al Swearengen

          The Green Bastard from Parts Unknown would stop him.

    • Anna Rompage

      He’s a mega star, with the biggest ratings….

    • boyblue122

      His handlers probably cringe when he wants to do anything outside of Fox

    • NellCote71

      Plus that reverse raccoon look has become worse.

  • Relativicus

    I read the whole interview. Well, most of it, anyway. There’s been nothing in my lifetime of experience that enables me to process what I read.

    • AND i have a hangover.

    • cmd resistor

      I think that every time I read one of them. I haven’t had the fortitude for this one yet.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’ve had more coherent conversations with people who are psychotic.

      • Relativicus

        I’ve had more coherent conversations with people who are sleeping.

        • Slithytoves

          Talking to my cat is like having a conversation with a Nobel laureate compared to Trump.

      • NellCote71

        So you are ruling out his being psychotic?

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Psychotic + demented.

    • NastyBossetti

      This is how I feel every time I hear/read something he says.

    • In other articles they also said he really changed since the last time they interviewed him (last year).

      How could you listen to this man and think he would be qualified for ANYTHING?!?! We don’t get to hear him but colleagues do. His cabinet does. Other politicians do.

      Mind boggling.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        That’s what was cracking me up about the McMaster complaints. Poor guy is actually trying to explain things to Dolt 45, and refuses to get swept up into tangents. “Wah, he won’t let me ask questions”.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    donald: “See….you take the 17% that we’re paying, and you know Mexico, it’s that place down south, have you heard of it? ….not many people have….down where they’re not paying 17% but they have marvelous tacos…….not as good as our tacos, because our tacos… but great tacos……..that’s 17% and 17%….that’s twice that……about double, isn’t it , Steve?…….”

    MNUCHIN: “Sure…..”

    • boyblue122

      lol

    • Al Swearengen

      “But actually I like taco bowls better than tacos. Don’t you? They make the most beautiful taco bowls you’ve ever seen at Trump Tower, believe me. My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

    • maxneanderthal

      Hey Donnie, does adding 17% to something and then taking 17% off get you back to the same figure?
      Take your time, Donnie, take your time…

    • Doug Langley

      I was told there wouldn’t be any math.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        So was Mnuchin!…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Sarah Huckaspew: “We went with the best information we had at the time”

    What’s that, Sarah? It turns out that it’s hard to have a definitive statement be 100% accurate in the midst of an ongoing, fast moving story? You don’t say…

    Imagine trying to do it in the midst of a terrorist attack half way around the world that you are relying on scant intelligence for, while you scramble to get updated, reliable intel. All you Bozos had to do was untangled the latest idiotic BS to dribble out of your boss’s piehole from a few blocks away- not a real emergency thousands of miles away…

    • NastyBossetti

      To be fair, have you tried to untangle the latest idiotic BS to dribble from their boss’s piehole?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        After listening to these lackwits scream about the initial fog around BENGHAZI!!1! for the last few years, I’m taking quite a bit of delight in watching these fucking clowns continually step on their own dicks at every presser. Turns out talking to the press is HARD

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It seems like there’s a lot of actual misdirection in this administration, aside from trump – can’t find your FBI chief to fire him, battleships headed in opposite directions, etc….

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    They were just bullshitting. It was only The Economist. They’re, like, just British, anyway, right?…

    • maxneanderthal

      Weeell, you know why the sun never set on the British Empire?
      ‘Cause no-one trusted the bastards after dark..

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • Well, let’s see how long he lasts.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Exactly. It’s only a matter of time before Jared ends up as Acting Director.

    • laughingnome

      I think they should get a porn director because Trump is certainly fucking the country.

  • Joe Beese

    “I was going to fire Comey. My decision,” Trump said in an interview with NBC News’ Lester Holt. “I was going to fire Comey. There’s no good time to do it, by the way.”

    Holt pointed out that in his letter of termination to Comey, Trump said he “accepted” the department’s recommendations regarding Comey’s fate.

    “You had already made the decision?” Holt asked.

    “Oh, I was going to fire regardless of recommendation,” Trump said. “Regardless of recommendation, I was going to fire Comey.”

    He called Comey a “showboat” and a “grandstander,” and claimed the FBI was “in turmoil” before Comey’s firing: “You know that, I know that, everybody knows that.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-says-he-planned-to-fire-comey-regardless-of-recommendation

    • Marceline

      “Oh, I was going to fire regardless of recommendation,” Trump said. “Regardless of recommendation, I was going to fire Comey.”

      This guy is like Yoda on meth.

    • NellCote71

      You gotta admit, if anyone know showboating and grandstanding . . .

  • Marsupial99

    “don’t forget, this was not supposed to be the way insurance works.
    Insurance is, you’re 20 years old, you just graduated from college, and
    you start paying $15 a month for the rest of your life and by the time
    you’re 70, and you really need it, you’re still paying the same amount
    and that’s really insurance.”

    WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!? Seriously?? This is what he thinks “insurance” should be? ALL insurance?? He is talking about Whole Life Insurance, which not many people do anymore, to be fair. But, that has NOTHING to do with health insurance! If you have a stroke and give the hospital your life insurance plan number, they’re just going to say that it will come in handy when you die.

    Does he even understand that there are different types of insurance? You can’t give the hospital your auto insurance, renter’s insurance, or FDIC insurance (well, limited cases on the first two).

    He can’t be this dumb. He can’t. He would have Darwin’d out years ago. He’s so used to playing to his idiot base that he can’t even act S-M-R-T when talking to The fucking Economist! Jesus!

    (I may have to walk away from political discussions for a while.)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He can’t be this dumb. He can’t.

      Yes he can…

      • Contemplative Ron

        Can. Is. And it’s getting WORSE.

        • NellCote71

          THIS^^^

    • maxneanderthal

      Oh, I don’t know. I’ve met plenty of people in insurance who really are that stupid. (No senior underwriters, I’ll admit…)

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Okay, let’s………..just………..suppose he’s talking about the concept that you pay a set amount per month throughout your lifetime for health insurance, regardless of age. Does that sound remotely like the plan he and the munster kid agreed would be the AHCA?………….No?……that would be some other plan, altogether?….never mind……..

      • maxneanderthal

        Yeah, On Planet Earth, we call it (repeat after me Donnie)..Sing…le Pay…er. Yes, yes, Sing-le Pay-er, Single payer,
        There, that wasn’t hard now, was it?

      • NellCote71

        I would be all for this plan if the hospitals, medical profession, hospital CEOs, and insurance and pharmaceutical companies held their costs at steady state for my entire lifespan. Where do I sign up?

  • Relativicus

    I don’t want to live on this planet any longer…

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/11/politics/kfile-don-jr-vince-foster-tweet/

    • Joe Beese

      It was just a retweet! That doesn’t count!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      fuck those clowns

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Easier to send Jr to another planet.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Too much effort. Just send him into orbit.

      • Relativicus

        No, I’ll go. Send just him and the rest of them are still here.

    • Doug Langley

      Now he’s going to blame Hillary for firing Comey in 5, 4, 3 . . .

      • NellCote71

        Obama has already been blamed, so why not?

    • Thiazin Red

      I feel so bad for Foster’s widow. I can’t imagine having a spouse commit suicide, and since then have that tragedy be used by conspiracy theorist assholes.

      • NellCote71

        That times 30+ for the Sandy Hook parents and relatives. If there were a hell…

    • cheetojeebus

      snort! hahahahaha What!? that is hilarious.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Be right back. Got a couple melons, need to do some ballistics tests in backyard.

    • Contemplative Ron

      What was originally the stink of desperation has turned into a thick, nasty liquid.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Oh fuck that asshole – he’s even dumber than his dad, and that’s saying something.

  • TJ Barke

    The president of the United States should not sound dumber than an assistant manager!

    • therblig

      he actually sounds dumber than the guy the assistant manager is interviewing for fry cook.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Fry cook libelz!

        • therblig

          hey, i didn’t say he got the job.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      In trump’s defense, it’s the assistant manager of an Arby’s.

    • DainBramage

      Even worse, he sounds dumber than your average Trump voter.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Or a middle schooler.

    • Bad Tom

      The President of the United States should not sound like he is well along into dementia.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So, trolls are desperate now, They’re rolling out that old “Hillary got debate questions!” chestnut to defend the voter fraud investigation. Derangement syndrome at its finest.

    • jesterpunk

      Who would have ever guessed that in Flint they would ask a question about the water in Flint?

      • UnsaltedSinner

        If someone didn’t guess it, it would actually prove they were unfit to be president.

    • Doug Langley

      Actually, the chestnut was that Hillary got the debate answers. Dimwits.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I wish I could have paid $15 a month since I was 20. It would be $2300 less over the last 43 years than I’ll pay this year.

  • snigsy

    Hah! I’m watching an interview with a retired FBI man on CBC. He is very pissed, but in a cool and calm way. He’s especially disgusted (but not surprised) at the accusation of “atrocities.” He’s also implying that Trump’s insults will not go unmet.

  • C4TWOMAN
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      toxicologist libel….

  • btwbfdimho

    We’re the highest-taxed nation in the world.

    Total bullshit, as expected from the Extravagant Charlatan in Chief.

  • NastyBossetti

    It must be hard enough to interview him for tv. Imagine having to write any kind of narrative around an interview with him, or even transcribing exactly what he says. Just the punctuation questions that must be raised are making my head spin.

    • They said ‘lightly edited’.

      • NastyBossetti

        Lightly? they’re just being polite!

    • Al Swearengen

      I like that the Economist made the effort to actually transcribe the babble instead of all the [unintelligible] in the Reuters 100-day interview.

    • Bitter Scribe

      From Richard Rovere’s definitive bio of Joe McCarthy, the politician whom Trump most resembles IMO:

      McCarthy’s presentation had been so disorderly, so jumbled and cluttered and loose-ended, that it was beyond the power of most reporters to organize the mess into a story that would convey to the reader anything beyond the suspicion that the reporter was drunk. There was a bedlam quality to McCarthy’s speeches that seldom got through to those who never read them.

      • NastyBossetti

        Wow. You could replace “McCarthy” with “Trump,” and it would still be perfect.

      • Regan Johnson

        McCarthy was often drunk.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      It’s bad enough in English. Lost in Translation, from back in January.
      http://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-middle-east-38812093/trump-lost-in-translation

      • whitroth

        I’ve got it – Trump speaks like an Ikea instruction booklet. Y’know, translated from Chinese to Korean to the main Indian language to English….

  • DainBramage

    OT: Had to take a break from the insanity. Here’s a nice article on the propeller structures in Saturn’s rings.
    http://www.blastr.com/2017-5-10/my-god-its-full-propellers

    • snigsy

      It’s good to be reminded that other planets exist.

  • Robert Gibson

    Since way back in 2104, eh?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    WTF am I hearing about these raids?…

  • JohnBull

    Very surprised to know that China is so old?
    He’s like one of those conservative douchebags who was so tied up with Clinton scandals back in the 90s and never cared about international stuff. Then 9/11 happened and suddenly they bought a map and knew it all.

    • jesterpunk

      He saw people in NYC at 7-11 when that happened.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj_IsiMA4G4

      • Crank Tango

        I was there all day, AM-PM, we even formed a prayer Circle K. All day long, you could hear the Wa Wa of the sirens, something something Kwik-E-Mart.

        • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

          7/11, but we’ll grade on a curve and call it a B.

          • blueeyedcuban

            I think he meant that they were getting some cokes and a bag of chips before going back in..

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Dancing in the street in Jersey City, as the towers fell. Who knew? Never Remember.

      • Bad Tom

        Ali-G used that as a joke.

        • jesterpunk

          One again Trump kills comedy by actually saying and believing what comedians just joke about.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Oceans can’t protect us anymore, you know” –Paraphrased GW Bush

      “Wait, you thought OCEANS were one of our means of defense??”

      • whitroth

        Where’s Gojiro?! He’ll protect us!

  • Nockular cavity

    Oh, but he’s an expert on aircraft carrier design now, too! You know how the new Ford-class ships are getting the Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System (EMALS) (basically, a rail gun for planes)? Trump no like:

    You know the catapult is quite important. So I said what is this? Sir, this is our digital catapult system. He said well, we’re going to this because we wanted to keep up with modern [technology]. I said you don’t use steam anymore for catapult? No sir. I said, “Ah, how is it working?” “Sir, not good. Not good. Doesn’t have the power. You know the steam is just brutal. You see that sucker going and steam’s going all over the place, there’s planes thrown in the air.”

    It sounded bad to me. Digital. They have digital. What is digital? And it’s very complicated, you have to be Albert Einstein to figure it out. And I said–and now they want to buy more aircraft carriers. I said what system are you going to be–”Sir, we’re staying with digital.” I said no you’re not. You going to goddamned steam, the digital costs hundreds of millions of dollars more money and it’s no good.

    From https://news.usni.org/2017/05/11/president-trump-wants-ford-carriers-use-goddamned-steam-catapults-instead-no-good-electromagnetic-launchers

    (According to the article, the first-developed example of this system, the one installed on the Gerald R. Ford, went into cost and schedule overruns–as happens with new technology–but is performing above specs. The next Ford-Class carrier, the John F. Kennedy , with the same EMALS system, is on-budget.)

    • Nockular cavity

      LGM has a post on this, with the requisite “BUT HER EMALS!”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      And it’s an electromagnetic catapult, not “digital” (whatever the hell Trump thinks that word means).

      • TheBoatDude

        (whatever the hell Trump thinks that word means)

        It means that the controller box has little red numbers on it…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      But digital, the cyber, is so difficult. Steam, now all you need is water and a hot plate! Science!

      • whitroth

        Steam! And Bronze! And Gears! That’s for Real Men…. (one of my daughters was at the Steampunk World’s Fair last weekend….)

    • Rags

      “I said no you’re not.” It is unbelievable that this response came from a sitting President.

    • yyyaz

      Let’s rip out all those old nuclear reactors, too, and burn coal for the boilers like gawd intended!

    • NellCote71

      You know, I thought you had written a very clever satire of Trump’s speech, er, pattern. Then I realized this was coming from the inside of the article.

      God save us all.

      • whitroth

        God ™ save us all? You mean, like, impeach, or learn to play “Nearer My God To Thee”?

  • canes_pugnaces

    The man is an idiot.

    • yyyaz

      A lethally toxic idiot.

  • Mavenmaven

    “OK. So we have a pool for people that are having difficulty. For our people. If you are registered for my party, you can get some maybe”.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      But probably not.

  • Blackest Noobs

    can we start a campaign where economists explains why the myth of trickle down economics is a LIE.

    yes….if you gave businesses a tax break they will create more jobs or buy more resources ( like a building) for said business…HOWEVER the loss of revenue from the taxes doesn’t even come close to filling the hole in the budget.

    So basically all it does is give businesses a break they don’t really need at the expense of the American tax payer. and it increases our deficit spending…so LOSE-LOSE situation.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Paul Krugman’s been fighting the good fight for decades.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it even failed when Reagan had practiced Reaganomics…he still…SIX TIMES….had to raise taxes.

        it has been proven not to work and not to work by their patron saint….Ronald “fuckin'” Reagan.

        what more do you need to prove this shit DOES NOT WORK.

    • TheBoatDude

      Hell, what more of a campaign do we need other than “Look out the fucking window! Does it look any better now than it did in the 70’s?”

    • Chris

      All you have to do is show them Kansas. Who needs Greece to show how austerity doesn’t work, who needs a national program to show that this crap doesn’t keep schools open and roads repaired? We have the lab open and the experiment has failed in Kansas.

    • whitroth

      Trickle down evaporates above a million a year. The rest of us, why do you think we’re pee-ons?

    • CripesAmighty

      And if you don’t tie it to productive investment (plants, hiring, inventory…), it just gets plowed right back into the speculation asset-bubble circle-jerk–resulting in zero real economic activity, and contributing to the inevitable crash.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Read the full article with all the reporter’s interjections. Because it is Seriously Fucked Up to the point that the interviewer just really coudn’t even, along with the rest of us.

    • i don’t think she ever shows that. (i know for sure that’s why they published what they did). she just happens to be zanny minton beddoes. an economic reporter chick interviewing the president of the united states.

      and she was just letting him fucking talk.

      to all of our shame.

  • whitroth

    $8B is change from the WH couches. 20 times that, and maybe you’d get a start….

    Please, could he please have a stroke? (I’m thinking of the scene in Raiders, where Indy’s fighting that big German in front of the plane…)

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    Embarrassed doesn’t even begin to describe it. Kids table? Our alleged “president” requires spoonfeeding and a 24/7 nanny to change his nappies. I wonder if Mary Poppins could be coaxed out of retirement. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc15e1a0749369d829f4af68f9e64a8f9c7472af0ac1066d446221d960c3796d.jpg

    • Chris

      She’d be an immigrant and he’s only interested in the ones he marries.

      • Querolous

        And by this time she would not be a 10.

    • Poly_Ester

      What? Kellyanne isn’t doing the job?

  • Marceline

    “I might release them after I’m out of office.”

    Sooooo…mid-July then?

    • Blackest Noobs

      yeah i laughed when i saw that….thinking…jesus! why do you ( Donald Trump) have to be an asshole every single time!

      • Jared James

        When the suckers keep falling for it, you keep the scam rolling. After the suckers stop falling for it, you fumble through anyway, out of liar’s inertia.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      We should be so lucky.

    • NellCote71

      That long?

  • Shibusa
  • BreakingDeadMen

    Coincidentally, I played Priming for a bingo in Scrabble right before I read that story this morning

  • JoeChristmas

    Prime the pump and grab the pussy!

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Is Priming the Pump like Beating the BIshop?

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Or Flogging the Dolphin?

        • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

          Porpoise. I think I meant Porpoise.

          • whitroth

            You’d better – dolphins are intelligent beings….

  • willi0000000

    “sacrifices will have to be made . . . so, could you all line up for the volcano on the right or the giant ape on the left . . . thank you”
    – tRump

  • laughingnome

    Trump’s stupid is too long.

    • sosuume

      Matches his tie.

  • HogeyeGrex

    “Somebody just told me this phrase, so I just made it up.”

    Do you think he actually realizes that any sort of objective reality outside of himself exists?

    • willi0000000

      no.

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth
    • CripesAmighty

      This one’s gonna get a bigger workout than Brolly Bunny.

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Yup. It’s already complained twice, “hey man, why is it my turn again?”

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth
    • Raan

      Walter would be a more emotional stable president, and he pulled a gun on a guy over a foul during a friendly game.

    • rubikcube

      Phone’s ringing, Dude.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    I love that Donald has to have three people in there with him–the hideous Mnuchin, Gary Cohn, and also White House director of “strategic communication” Hope Hicks–to make sure he doesn’t go completely off the rails. Despite which, he goes completely off the rails several times.

    Then there’s this moment:

    Donald: “I’ll be honest with you…Did anybody ever hear of a guy named Mike Pence? Vice-president of the United States?”

    At which point….

    Mike Pence, the vice-president, enters the room and says, “Morning all.”

    I keep picturing the Economic interviewers hoping desperately that they don’t burst into giggles before it’s over.

    • My favorite bit is when Hope reminds him of the audit,
      And he is all, lolz, maybe when I am out of office

    • NellCote71

      Glad to hear I am not the only one thinks their is something bizarrely off about Mnuchin’s appearance.

      • cats530

        He somewhat resembles a ‘vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity…'(kudos to Matt Taibbi for his explanation of Goldman-Sachs)

    • here is the economist interviewer. i’m sure she’s had a fabulous laugh with this piece (which is getting play everywhere):

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanny_Minton_Beddoes

  • Craic

    “[Our] relationship with China is long. Of course by China standards, it’s very short [laughter], you know when I’m with [Xi Jinping], because he’s great, when I’m with him, he’s a great guy. He was telling me, you know they go back 8,000 years, we have 1776 is like modern history. They consider 1776 like yesterday and they, you know, go back a long time. They talk about the different wars, it was very interesting. We got along great. So I told them, I said, ‘We have a problem and we’re going to solve that problem.’ But he wants to help us solve that problem.”

    Borderline glossolalia… Trumpsterfyre is the Krakatoa of bullshit artists.

  • chicken thief

    “Oh, did I say China will help us with North Korea? What I meant is that they will give Ivanka some patents.”

    ~ The Honest to God, I’m not making this up, POTUS

  • Poly_Ester

    If donnie were actually serious about redressing the global trade imbalance, he would have signed an EO declaring steel shipping containers to be contraband and sent the Navy out to sink any ships carrying such contraband.

  • Ken S., As Seen On Watch Lists

    Does anybody, anywhere, think that the child rapist has any idea what it means to prime a pump?

    • norcalOG

      Possibly, as an old chess player, he confused that expression with polishing his bishop.

  • cats530

    “Rogering himself in the lorry?” That sounds quite provocative, but I’m not EXACTLY sure my assumptions are correct on what the phrase means. Wait, does that mean he’s wanking off in the back of a truck?

  • anon_the_great

    Trump: You could actually make the case, that the 17 is doubled. You can
    make that case. You know, it’s 17 and it’s really 17 and it’s a double.

    God I miss Sarah Palin

    • mardam422

      He’s right. When ever I hear him talk I need a double.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    In other parts of the world…
    The Mormon Church has announced it will “withdraw from teen Boy Scouts”.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good. It’s what you have to do.”

    Obviously, guys, Trump has the keys to Obama’s time machine. The Donad went back in time and told everyone this phrase, and that is how you know about it.

    You’re welcome!

  • dshwa

    I’m surprised the reporters didn’t have a stroke. Claiming he invented “Prime the pump”? Holy fucknuts

  • I hate to non-comment because, according to the ticker, I’m the 667th non-comment.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Have you heard that Al Gore invented the internet? Well, I made up Al Gore a couple days ago, thought it was pretty good.

  • mardam422

    So when we trade with Mexico we pay 17%. Imagine that. It’s like a football team is always losing by 25 points. But it’s not 25, it’s 17, and it’s all the time. And that 17, you could say it’s more than that. You could say it’s twice that. Which is more even than 25. Did you know that twice 17 is more than 25? I did. Anyway, Jinping, we get along great.

  • Espadron

    “Yes.

    Trump: We have to prime the pump.

    It’s very Keynesian.

    Trump: We’re the highest-taxed nation in the world. Have you heard that expression before, for this particular type of an event?

    Priming the pump?

    Trump: Yeah, have you heard it?

    Yes.

    Trump: Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven’t heard it. I mean, I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good. It’s what you have to do.”

    OMFG.

  • btwbfdimho

    Trump: We’re the highest-taxed nation in the world.

    Just another bullshit from the Extravagant Charlatan in Chief.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0369d6f83d62fdf8d05e5e6aa3337aed0f5f50f143396ac1334ce217aa4cc84d.png

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Oh look, Denmark has a really high quality of life, as well as high taxation. I wonder if there is some connection? Nah, couldn’t be – taxes are bad.

  • Miles Monroe

    Well it’s an interesting question. I don’t think it’s ever been asked quite that way. = “STALL while trying to come up with a reply that won’t reveal I have NO IDEA what you just asked me.”

    … it’s 17 and it’s really 17 and it’s a double. = Does not know/can not figure that seventeen multiplied by two is thirty-four, a skill most of us attained in primary school, at least … !

  • Quercus Queen

    “It has to do with trade deals that have to be fair, and somewhat reciprocal, if not fully reciprocal. And I think that’s a word that you’re going to see a lot of, because we need reciprocality in terms of our trade deals.”

    Please, someone more knowledgeable than myself, doesn’t he he mean “reciprocity” rather than “reciprocality”? It’s making my ears itch, like when someone says “mute” for “moot”!

    • Miles Monroe

      It’s a perfectly cromulent word!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Jesus, that this guy thinks he is a financial genius is ironclad proof of Dunning-Kruger.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    I bet the interviewer needed a nice cuppa and a lie-down after. Followed by some heavy drinking.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Media outlets provide exact transcripts of these events because there is no way to edit them that makes him not look like a dolt. Butting the whole thing out there provides inoculation against charges of unfairness.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee. And I’d also rather have the federal government focus on protecting my golf courses than helping you feed your family.”

  • CripesAmighty

    Just a note for our friends across the pond: Before indulging in too much tut-tutting and tittering, be reminded that this debacle is entirely of your own making in that you loosed this clomping Clusterfuck on an unsuspecting world when you screwed the pooch at Yorktown. Weak. Sad.

    • Regret

      It sounds to me like my ancestors were smart to exchange New Amsterdam for Curacao.

  • SadDemInTex

    I donated today to you guys because holy fuck what a fucking week it has been. I would be lost without your writing and snark

  • Jared James

    I don’t think it comes as a surprise to anyone that Donald Trump allegedly has an Ivy League degree in finance and he just encountered Keynes-Galbraith economics a couple of weeks ago.

    • CripesAmighty

      I suspect his concentration was not in macroeconomic theory. Rather more likely, ‘marketing’, to wit: ‘How to flog reverse mortgages and time-shares to unsuspecting widows’.

    • mfp

      pfft….imean wtf, right?….i was in public high school in the early ’70’s, and our econ class covered keynes-galbraith

      • Jared James

        Galbraith was big news in the late 1950s. Trump wasn’t quite in high school by then, but when he was in college, it was all the rage.

        • mfp

          zackly

  • Lizzie Lew

    He came up with post it notes too.

    • blueeyedcuban

      Dear Leader also invented the phrase “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!”

    • lurch394

      Al Gore is jealous.

      • phoenix00

        Remember the days when we gave him such a hard time for “inventing the internet”? Pepperidge Farms remembers!

  • La forza del resistino

    And to think I used to roll my eyes when my 3rd grade teacher would say the US is so great that ‘ anyone can grow to be president.’

  • Scooby

    I think Jinping is thier 11th president.

  • Randy Riddle

    Anyone can grow up to be President. That doesn’t mean they should.

  • Axomamma

    I want to live on the planet where full- coverage health insurance costs only $15 a month.

    • Regret

      Same here.

  • Keith Taylor

    He often spells it “ekonomiks”, with k’s the way the klan does. He has also been known to spell it “ergonomics” and give the impression he thinks it means getting a really comfortable new chair in which he can plonk his overweight ass. (No, not really. Or not as far as I know.) But the President Trump Channel is in ecstasies over the brilliant way he conducted this meeting and displayed his grasp of the subject.
    It has also recycled a cartoon of Hillary Clinton waltzing with a Wall Street fat cat as they both trample on the middle class. I think I have a vague notion who is most conspicuously doing that. It ain’t Hillary.

    • Incoming Ham

      “Ekonomiks” has a rather Russian ring to it.

    • kareemachan

      Well, we’ve read it on the internets now, so…

  • SCK

    What a fucking idiot. What a fucking embarrassment.

  • Ducksworthy

    Uh. And you say smart people all over the world are gonna read this drivel?

    • yup. i think that’s the point.

  • But don’t worry, because China’s president Xi isn’t personally 8,000-years-old.

    Not according to Sax Rohmer!

    • mfp

      wow…sax rohmer?….you win all the upfists and today’s interwebs obscure reference trophy

      • lurch394

        Nero Wolfe is on the case.

        • kareemachan

          Admits, “I like him, too.”

      • kareemachan

        Sax Rohmer libelz! NOT obsure.

        Well, if you’re a nerd who loved books like that as a kid, that is.

  • Poly_Ester

    What a clear, concise explanation of modern economic theory. Trump deserves the Ignobel prize in economics for that!

  • Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven’t heard it. I
    mean, I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it
    was good.

    Now, that’s a coincidence… a couple of days ago, I came up with the expression ‘What a dumbass’ and I thought it was good.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Lil’Donnie thinks “Keynesian economics ” is the cost of getting your door lock changed when the #PeeHooker steals your keys.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, 5$F.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Imagine if we lived in a country where not just any little boy could grow up to be President. I know you were probably raised hearing that old saw too, but perhaps now you see the downside. It’s actually happened. We have a little boy for a President.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Now in some cases that’ll be great, like in Florida that works fantastically with Rick Scott, and a couple of others.”

    Ummm…isn’t Rick Scott a Medicare fraud enthusiast?

    • Bebecca

      Do you think that’s a problem to Trump?

    • Weird Fishes

      He’s a skilled practitioner, no doubt.

    • lurch394

      Yes, made his millions at Hospital Corporation of America, the medical equivalent of for-profit prisons.

      • kareemachan

        And took the 5th about umpteen zillion times during the trial.

  • ryp

    For those of you who might have wondered what it might have been like if John McCain had been elected and then died, leaving Sarah Palin in the White House, wonder no longer.

    • Delu

      If that happened she’d have quit halfway and we’d still have Obama in the whitehouse today.

      • britishvoiceman

        Sorry, that’s not how it works – if Trump quit, Hillary would NOT become president.

        • lurch394

          Assuming the Dems still had the Congress, as Obama did, Nancy Pelosi would have been president. Hillary: foiled again!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    What did that reporter from the Economist think after that interview? Here, we go with your standard We Are So Fucked.

    Did he or she go back to the newspaper and tell the editors how fucked the entire world is?

  • pianoplayer1

    Trump. Just. Found. Out: China’s civilization predates America. There is no way Trump did his own college work.

  • Duchess Gummybuns

    “Nobody cares about my taxes being released except reporters”

    Wow, add selective hearing to his skill set. It takes someone truly gifted to pretend you can’t hear 65 million people screaming the same thing at you.

  • HooverVilles
    • Weird Fishes

      too late.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    The level of corruption we can expect from this incompetent and his administration …

  • Bebecca

    If you have a bad knee, I would rather have the federal government focus on North Korea than fixing your knee.”
    OMG you guys and all this time we’ve thought he was a dumba$$. And I had one other thought about this-doesn’t Jared have time to do both?

  • Kurt Weil

    Somewhere, in a DC hotel lobby, an Economist reporter got very, very drunk.

    • Weird Fishes

      or has stopped crying, and is now pondering what form the world without a functioning US is going to take.

      • Regret

        Pretty much the same, but people will be a bit nicer to each other.
        The other option, where the US is functioning very efficiently is a lot scarier.
        If your country breaks, please make sure it is really broken before handing the keys to a madman, K?

    • Maybe

      Next time he’ll be smart enough to do that before the interview.

  • Mike

    I feel like I’m watching a movie… everyone knows the president s completely insane …half the cast doesn’t get it and the other half plays along.
    Honestly, WTF is taking so long with the impeachment?

    • Maybe

      Welcome to reality tv.

  • AnniNoone

    “President Derp sat down for an interview last week with The Economist, the world’s most widely read Serious Magazine on Global Finance For Real Adults.”

    My husband (who used to be a moderate Republican, when those were still a thing) faithfully reads the Economist, and I have heretofore only had an Onion Point/Counterpoint to make fun of him with. I’m so happy I’m’a tip.

  • lurch394

    Really, Drumpf?

    ‘[Our] relationship with China is long. Of course by China standards, it’s very short [laughter], you know when I’m with [Xi Jinping], because he’s great, when I’m with him, he’s a great guy. He was telling me, you know they go back 8,000 years, we have 1776 is like modern history. They consider 1776 like yesterday and they, you know, go back a long time. They talk about the different wars, it was very interesting. We got along great. So I told them, I said, “We have a problem and we’re going to solve that problem.” But he wants to help us solve that problem.’

    Whatever does that mean? It makes me nostalgic for Sarah Palin’s word salad.

    • Regret

      Translation:
      “I met a chinaman.
      He told stories about his history.
      I need help from the chinaman.”

      There is no deeper meaning, it is vague and pointless.

      • kareemachan

        But he didn’t think “chinaman”….I’m sure he thought a more deragatory 5-letter word…

        • javadavis

          Think? He doesn’t waste his beeyootiful yuge brain on nerdy thinking. It’s all dominance display, like “Xi! We’re bigger than you, so stop North Korea for us!” and then Xi is like “Trump, you ignorant twit, China has been around a long time. Let me explain how this one works.” So then Trump is like “Oh, yeah, well watch this – have some chocolate cake, I’m gonna bomb something, probably, i dunno, Iraq, maybe?’
          and then all the Trump advisers are like “Jebus!” and the Putins are like “Trump – not Iraq, bomb Syria, but wait until we say so, like maybe during dessert. LOL, this is fun, fun, fun! Think we can make him stand on his head now?”
          And then I say “Jebus!” and wonder if it is too late to go back to drinking.

  • Maybe

    It seems that most Trump supporters don’t know other countries exist now.

  • kareemachan

    My brain hurts.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks $5F,
    I read the whole Economist transcript. My God, does my head hurts. And I didn’t even drink last night.
    Amazing. And the transcriptionist should get a Nobel, or a Pulitzer, or a Tony, or the Stanley Cup, or maybe a NASCAR trophy.
    I can’t even.
    You have mad abstracting skill.

  • Sekhmet1

    His word salad and stream of consciousness rambling almost – almost – rivals La Palin’s. My eyes hurt after trying to follow that.

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