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WTF?

OH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK?

Looks like Ye Olde Wonkette’s Grande Theory of how James Comey is actually a good guy running a real-ass investigation into Donald Trump’s VERY OBVIOUS RUSSIAN TIES was correct! Because Donald Trump, our stupid fucking president, has just fired FBI Director James Comey:

FBI Director James B. Comey has been dismissed by the president, according to White House spokesman Sean Spicer.

“The president has accepted the recommendation of the Attorney General and the deputy Attorney General regarding the dismissal of the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation,” Spicer told reporters in the briefing room, according to a pool report.

Read Trump’s letter to Comey, which he signed with his tiny little pussy hand:

Dear Director Comey,

I have received the attached letters from the Attorney General and Deputy Attorney General of the United States recommending your dismissal as Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I have accepted their recommendation and you are hereby terminated and removed from office, effective immediately.

While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation, I nevertheless concur with the judgment of the Department of Justice that you are not able to effectively lead the Bureau.

It is essential that we find new leadership for the FBI that restores public trust and confidence in its vital law enforcement mission.

I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Donald J. Trump

Trump is very happy that Comey promised that Trump wasn’t under investigation personally, and he’s real darn appreciative of how Comey threw the 2016 election in his direction, but anyway fuck him. James Comey is invited to hit Trump up if he needs a letter of recommendation for his next job, at Arby’s!

So, if you’re keeping score, Trump has now fired Sally Yates, U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara and James Comey — all three of whom are potentially most likely definitely sitting on explosive criminal information on Trump. Probably just a coincidence!

According to CNBC, Attorney General Jeff Sessions sent Trump a letter saying “a fresh start is needed at the leadership of the FBI,” because that fucking perjurer is such an expert on stuff and things.

You also need to behold the bullshit letter from Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, on why Trump made this move right now. Surprise, ALL the reasons he cites are arguments the Trump team COULD HAVE CITED just after the inauguration, but now are suddenly important, because #Reasons:

In case you can’t read that on your Obamaphone, Trump’s deputy attorney general is pissed off about (?!?!?!) how Comey handled (?!?!?!) HILLARY CLINTON’S EMAILS? They’re suddenly mad that they were TOO MEAN to Hillary? It’s just chapping their asses how Comey somehow undermined former Attorney General Loretta Lynch? REALLY? Is this some cynical play to get Democrats on board with this? Are we supposed to be too stupid to remember how Loretta Lynch had said, officially, on record, that she would accept Comey’s recommendations on the Hillary investigation, because all kinds of morons were pissed off that she discussed casserole recipes with Bill Clinton on a tarmac in Phoenix?

The Washington Post also reports that this is partially happening now because Comey accidentally said some wrong and dumb things about Hillary Clinton’s emails in his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee last week, to which we reply, “EAT ME.”

We’re pretty sure this is ACTUALLY happening because Comey was running the only credible investigation into Trump and Russia that exists, don’t you think? Yeah, we’ll go with that because we’re goddamned patriots. Who is left to stop the anti-American traitors currently staging a coup against the American government?

Look, Comey has fucked up a lot of things. OBVIOUSLY. We have spent many days being GRRRR ANGRY at him, as we lovingly detailed in this post.

But y’all? This is fucked. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.

Hey, let’s look at the front page of the Los Angeles Times on the day after Richard Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre! Why? Oh no reason:

The new acting director of the FBI will be its current deputy director, Andrew McCabe, who is married to a known Democrat lady and is pals with Virginia Democratic Governor Terry McAuliffe, so Trump will fire him later tonight on Twitter probably.

God help us.

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  • AnnieGetYerFun

    They’re suddenly mad that they were TOO MEAN to Hillary? It’s just chapping their asses how Comey somehow undermined former Attorney General Loretta Lynch?

    OK, but if he HADN’T done that, then Trump wouldn’t have to do any work.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I assumed they were mad she wasn’t in jail yet. I have a bad feeling this is where that’s headed.

      • JurisGal

        Prosecute HRC but not Flynn? They are ugly and devious but that won’t fly. It can’t…I hope.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We can haz election do-over?

      • Parakeetist

        Yes.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    These motherfuckers….

  • Me not sure
    • FlownΩver

      Is you is, or is you ain’t, my constitchients?

      • Me not sure

        Ain’t.

      • Seek

        I’m a friend to the Little Man!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I’m not. I don’t want to get anywhere near Trump’s penis.

  • monoglot

    Saturday Night Massacre redux.

    • jaspersdad

      This is some long knife shit right here.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Posted this on the last story, but this sums up how I feel:

    https://twitter.com/Bakari_Sellers/status/862076762657890305

    And I have to head out now, but I’ll check in later to see WTF will happen next. Stay strong and organize, Wonkers!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Basically.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Can I get an amen.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Eliot Richardson was Superman’s secret identity?
    Discuss.

    • mancityRed6

      not if he landed in Kansas

  • memzilla Ω
    • Naytch

      I just sent him and Senator Gillibrand some all caps SPECIAL PROSECUTOR NOW!! emails, so I am sure it will work ;)

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Apparently, he’s asked all Dems to be in their seats tomorrow.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Man, I wish my name was Archibald Cox. That’s just fun to say.

    • LucindathePook

      Sign of those times: Impeach the Cox-Sacker.

    • laineypc

      As a person who may or may not have an association with that surname, I can say that it must ALWAYS be spelled proactively when telling someone who needs to look it up.

  • jaspersdad

    Comey’s served their purpose up to this point, but now it’s time to hand the FBI over to an outright Trump sycophant.

  • Ωbjectifier

    “The president has accepted the recommendation of the Attorney General…”
    Recusal? Yer doin it wrong.

    • JurisGal

      Sessions his wide-eyed, gosh golly manner makes me want to kick him…with votes. Too bad that ship has sailed.

    • shivaskeeper

      That’s already been spun. The Assistant AG made the recommendation and wrote the official memo recommending he be relieved.

  • Shoto

    What did Preznit Stupid know, and when did Preznit Stupid stop knowing it?

  • AnnieGetYerFun
  • jaspersdad

    Democrats have to make the confirmation hearings for the new FBI Director all about the Trump-Russia Cover-Up.

    • Contemplative Ron

      WHAT confirmation hearings?

  • boyblue122

    After the new FBI director is confirmed, im sure Trump will be declared innocent within a week

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Then they’ll investigate the real issue: unmasking.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Roadstergal

      Yes, Spicey. Yes. Is Melissa McCarthy going to have to explain it to you with dolls?

    • mackafritz

      Stupid is too kind.

    • Marceline

      That’s a parody account.

      • mackafritz

        I hope so.

        • Elvis Causticfellow

          Well, I think the name “Spicier” is a clue.

          • Chris

            The way these people spell that isn’t a guarantee. I keep waiting for Trump to mis-spell his own name.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        And yet, convincingly stupid.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Oh, I should have realized! I’m too freaked out to think straight tonight.

        • Marceline

          I know. I’m the same way. Someone on my social media posted that Jared Kushner was named the new FBI director and I just wanted to scream at them that now is not the time for jokes like that.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Who can tell these days? They always seem extremely proud of their own ignorance.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Specious Spicer

      • Yeah. The real Spicer won’t be so coherent.

    • boyblue122

      Spicier? lol

    • janecita

      Isn’t that the satire Twitter account? His name is misspelled.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Oh, good catch.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Yeah, like that asshole can spell his own name!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    The opening sequence of Saturday Night Massacre always makes me feel things in my swimsuit area.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/HoCLJB4I2rNwQ/giphy.gif

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    According to CNBC, Attorney General Jeff Sessions sent Trump a letter saying “a fresh start is needed at the leadership of the FBI,” because that fucking perjurer is such an expert on stuff and things.”

    Sooooo – everything was cool with comey till he testified? Correlation does not equal causation, but it CAN be. Also, this strikes me as 1) trump was pissed that comey didn’t testify the way he wanted , 2) trump told sessions, give me cover on firing him 3) sessions did as he was told.

  • Ezio

    But James Comey has done his job has he not? He’s served his purpose by helping swing the election. He’s even remained faithful despite the congressional hearings. Why fire him now?

    • sw19wilson

      Because he’s served his purpose, just like every other contractor Trump’s fucked over in his long career.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He’s looking up at the under chassis of a large and greasy bus.

    • He thought about trying to do his ACTUAL job and investigate real crime and Trump doesn’t stand for disloyalty.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “You try to contrive the perfect alibi, sir. And it’s your ‘perfect alibi’ that’s gonna hang you.”

  • memzilla Ω
  • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

    I put this in the other thread but

    OK, let’s set some odds on the next FBI Director.
    2:1 Somebody we’ve never heard of. Overwhelming favorite.
    4:1 Roger Ailes
    4:1 Chris Christie
    5:1 Steve Bannon
    8:1 Jared Kushner
    10:1 Bill O’Reilly
    12:1 Ted Nugent
    15:1 Kid Rock
    18:1 Jason Chaffietz
    20:1 Clint Eastwood (Directed J. Edgar)
    25:1 James Comey again
    100:1 Naked Cowboy
    Or
    3:1 Ivanka

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      no odds: Giuliani

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        I couldn’t put him on there. It’s almost a guarantee. Would have capped betting and put me in the poorhouse.

      • Ezio

        The last thing we need as FBI director is someone who invented the purp-walk.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          ?

          Snark? Cause I seem to remember a thing with Lee Harvey Oswald and another with Capone.

          • Ezio

            Sort of snark. But that family has its own history of criminality.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah, my bad buddy – still in a shitty mood over my own firing.

            Comey will be hired at a think tank or university wihtin a month, me i’ll still be sending out resumes

    • Ωbjectifier

      Joe Arpiao is out of work now.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Oh! I hope it’s Ivanka. She’s so pretty and sensible and her book gives really good advice on how to succeed even if you have a vagina.

      • SisterArtemis

        I became a feminist because of her

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        When you start out rich.

        • Naytch

          Affluenza Boy!?!

    • Nick.Trite

      I’ll take the long odds for “printed out picture of Pepe the Frog.” It was my bet for SCOTUS too, and I feel like one of these times, it’s going to be accurate.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Robert Bork.

      • Chris

        Dead for 5 years, sounds like the sure bet.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Former Sheriff. One of the few bright spots of 11/9.

        • Mary Sandoras

          You beat me to it down thread….great minds.

    • janecita

      Vladimir Putin
      Pee Hooker#1
      Pee Hooker#2

    • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

      I forgot
      6:1 Sebastian Gorka
      11:1 Richard Spencer
      40:1 Omarosa

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Also, too
        1,000,000,000:1 Barack Obama

    • Swampgas_Man

      What about that cowboy-hat wearing asshole who let people die of thirst in his jail?

    • Goposaur

      a Palin.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        I had Sarah at 4:1 and pulled her off the board.

        I regret my decision.

    • yyyaz

      3:2 John Bolton.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        Oooooooh both terrific and terrifyingly accurate.

    • Rags

      Mike Flynn. Bank it.

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        Perfect.

    • Chris

      Oh crap. I hadn’t thought of Chaffetz. Like I really needed another reason to not sleep tonight.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Pussy LIBELZ!!1!

  • andyshelt

    “Night of the long knives” springs to mind.

    Can the Reichstag fire be too far away?

  • Suttree

    So has the drip, drip, drip turned into a little brook yet? That is waiting to turn into a waterfall? Or am I too optimistic?

    • sw19wilson

      Sadly, the GOP are still shoring up the dam.

      Needz moar pressurs.

      • JurisGal

        “Heckuva job Brownie!”

    • Chris

      Firing Comey just speeded up the process.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Remember four months ago when our fears of a dictatorship were somehow ridiculous? Because I do. And I’m just going to sit here and wonder why this is steadily progressing the same way my nightmares do.

    • Suttree

      No the freakout we all had on election night was completely fucking correct!

      • Roadstergal

        Dammit, why did my election night freakout have to be accurate?

        • Crystalclear12

          But, hey, we were right!

          • Roadstergal

            I’ve never wanted so much to be wrong.

          • Suttree

            I feel so much better because we were right. :(

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Seeing something coming and still having it happen is actually worse than being surprised.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        We said American democracy wouldn’t survive without life support! We said she needed medical attention!

        • Suttree

          We all knew this shit was coming. We tried to tell people. But nooo, he’ll pivot they said (haha), he is looking more presidential (haha). fuck the msm!!!!!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I’m mad at the people who said it would be OK because America has protections too. I braced myself for this but I still feel unprepared. And unless a million protesters flood the Senate, there really isn’t a way to change course.

          • Suttree

            Back to the fucking streets!!!! Protest people!!!!

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/862076309450653696
    Someone out this worthless closet case already!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Given the controversies involving chasing the moneychangers out of the temple, I believe a fresh start at Messiah will serve the people and the Kingdom of Heaven well.”

    • Swampgas_Man

      Outing him will only make him sympathetic– he goes on Ellen, cover of PEOPLE, etc.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Oh, not as a homosexual kind of person – out as a lizard kind of person….

        • SisterArtemis

          #lizardpeepulzlibulz

    • JurisGal

      He could replace Director with “most Republicans in Congress “and FBI with “Congress”.

    • Randy Riddle

      The Russians probably have the tapes on Miss Fainting Couch. And it ain’t female pee hookers.

    • John Thorstensen

      The replies to Graham’s tweet are almost entirely people screaming obscenities at him and telling him to do his goddam job.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Maybe this will even further piss off the IC people who want to see Trump die in jail? And if there’s evidence against him, it’s still out there. I dunno, just casting around blindly for a silver lining.

    • that’s what i was wondering.

  • Joe Beese

    “Archibald Cox” was the first thing I thought of after Mrs. Beese IM-ed me the news just now.

    Drip… drip… drip…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      All right, which greasy little Bork is going to step up to the plate?

      • Roadstergal

        AOT, K?

    • Goposaur

      The good Dr. HST would have gone to town on this. Then again, if he were still around, we wouldn’t have this assweasel in office.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    NOT FIRED. NOT FIRED. YOU’RE THE FIRED!

    • JurisGal

      That is excellent!

  • Picabo
  • Gayer Than Thou

    How many enemies can he make and still survive (with votes)?

  • jodo

    Obama had every right to fire Comey for his conduct during the 2016 election. But we all know that’s not why Trump fired James Comey. I don’t feel sorry for Comey, he’ll go down in history for his infamous interference in a presidential election. I feel sorry for Americans who now live in a nascent banana republic led by Il Duce Trump.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      If that letter is real, trump inadvertantly pointed out the reason for firing him right there. It’s like donald trying to backwalk his support for keeping Muslims out of the country…

  • marxalot

    Well, this is certainly borked.

  • Crystalclear12
  • Marceline

    From now on can we please remember that the lesser of two evils is LESS FUCKING EVIL.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAkyBS8uwPQ

    • Roadstergal

      Except that Hillz _isn’t evil_.

      • Marceline

        Agreed. I’m terrified now thatTrump is going to “re-open” the investigation in the Hillz for more distraction.

        • Roadstergal

          “Lock her up” always played well with his base. Her show trial will go on for years.

        • Chris

          Pretty much telegraphed by Ted Cruz in the Clapper/Yates hearing.

  • Joe Beese
    • hendenburg2

      It’s certainly no Chuck Tingle

  • memzilla Ω
    • MarsNeedsWomen

      Amen

    • JurisGal

      Yeah this is a repeat. A bad remake of an old movie.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    If the evidence finally comes out, this will look all the worse for him, there’s that. Just ask Dick Nixon: Fire two measly little attorney generals and they never let you forget it.

    • Roadstergal

      He’s just going to have to make sure the evidence doesn’t come out, then.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Sooner or later, Putin will have no further use left for him and then all bets are off (knock wood).

        • Roadstergal

          Putin will run out of use for him only after he has dragged this country into the ground and salted the earth.

          • Chris

            I’m pretty sure Putin is familiar with Sherman – Donnie Boy, not so much,

    • snark-lurker

      those with evidence will use it unti it no longer turns the screw

    • Meccalopolis

      When. It’s coming out. If comey didn’t plan for this then he is a idiot

  • Bill D. Burger

    Is this the pivot?

    rotflmao

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    New A.G. New FBI Director. I guess Trump’s gonna lock her up after all.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      New AG. New FBI DIrector.
      New motherfucking POTUS.

  • firing the hear of the FBI and the mother fucker STILL has to claim his innocence.

    3 times i was cleared.

    • sw19wilson

      Isn’t there something in the Jesus bit of the Bible along those lines?
      How did that end again?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Cock-a-doodle-do.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m actually amazed he didn’t mention the size of his inauguration crowd.

  • Our barometer for how much shit will hit the fan will be how many people quit their posts in the next week or so. It is a time for dignity.

    Epic stuff.

  • Claire

    Well, I wasn’t going to drink this entire bottle of cab tonight, but if this doesn’t call for it I don’t know what does. I still think Comey is a treasonous piece of shit, but I held out a faint hope that he was going to try to redeem himself for handing the election to Trump. Even if he didn’t intend to, though, this is some third-world dictatorship shit, and it’s scary.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Where’s Al Haig, when you need him?…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I was thinking that earlier.
      I like the cut of your jib.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I try to cut my jib against the grain, but I’m not always successful…

  • Nick Scroggs

    Well, while my leg’s bleeding onto some bandages, I would like to suggest two things: One, a campaign to nominate myself for FBI Director. I have no experience, but it can’t possibly hurt this administration any more than it’s already doing to itself. And two, I’m not sure how this will fly with everyone, but making the big pharma companies publicly and commonly owned. Got the idea reading an MIT magazine, not a conspiracy website don’t worry, but like, they have costs up so much, and refuse o spend on a lot of things (like research into male contraceptives, in the article i read). Of course, requires a lot of finagling and working out problems before actually suggesting a full program.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You have my vote. Stop bleeding, though.

  • Ezio

    Mara Wilson just posted this on twitter: “Aw man people in the camps are gonna be like “so where were you when it started” and I’m going to be like “On the couch in my gym clothes”

    • LadyLaz

      It’s like remembering where you were on 911

  • Bill D. Burger

    Today is “Banana Republic Day” huh? ___ No, not the store…..the country.

  • Chick_Tract_Fil_A

    Not saying who his replacement is, but it rhymes with Smishbastian Smorka.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Maybe he’ll exhume the corpse of Lavrenty Beria.

  • LadyLaz

    Where are the ethical republicans when you need them. Gawd

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oxymoron. Emphasis on the moron.

    • TJ Barke

      Extinct.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Not extinct, but critically endangered and almost all of them are out of power.

        • sw19wilson

          Or now Democrats.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Bill Weld is a libertarian.

          • sw19wilson

            Good point.

    • LucindathePook

      Mt. Rushmore?

    • sw19wilson

      In a phone booth.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      6 feet under.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Mark O. Hatfield is long dead, unfortunately.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Narnia?

      • Crystalclear12

        Just because they are in a closet it doesn’t mean they are in Narnia.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          I regret that I have but one upfist to give for that comment.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahah
      *gasp*
      hahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhhahahhahahhahahah
      *gasp*
      ahahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhaahahahh

      • LadyLaz

        Hi, my name is Polly. Polly Anna.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The GOP is not dead. It just smells funny.

      • hendenburg2

        It’s pining for the fjords!

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Zappa reference FTW!

    • Yr. Gma

      I think that’s an oxymoron.

    • Boscoe

      Somewhere between trilobytes and ichthyosaurus slowly hardening into fossils?

    • LadyLaz

      Hi, my name is Polly. Polly Anna

    • Master Contrail Program

      Through the looking glasss? Wherever a dream goes when one wakes up? I got nothin’.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      Who?

    • Claire

      They became Democrats twenty years ago. Now the party is entirely given over to grifters and lunatics, because they’re the only ones who tell the base what they want to hear.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      They call themselves Independents now, but don’t let that fool you. They still pull the level for every candidate with an R after their name, they just don’t want to be tainted with the label themselves.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Picked a fine time to run out of weed.

    • Suttree

      I am soo glad I just got a fresh bottle. it won’t last the night.

      • hendenburg2

        I’m glad my keg is still at about half. And I got half-bottled of gin, mezcal and pisco.

        • Suttree

          Fancy-pants!

      • H0mer0

        ” But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, It gives a lovely light!”

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      They’re making pot brownies (and also normal brownies) downstairs.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Horrible time to rub it in! :p

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I was offering, since I don’t have any use for pot brownies (the regular ones are mine though).

          • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

            Thanks :)

          • aureolaborealis

            If you’re still bleeding from your wherevers, you have a use for pot brownies.

      • aureolaborealis

        I just finished making an approximately 45-day supply of chocolates.

    • snark-lurker

      OH MAN!!! : (

    • mancityRed6

      yeah, I just talked myself out of a one day trip this week (maybe)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That and Lucille’s left me.

    • Chris

      I think we are all going to be quoting Airplane! tonight. Anyone wanna live blog Rachel Maddow tonight?

    • Goposaur
  • Gayer Than Thou

    This:

    While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation, I nevertheless concur with the judgment of the Department of Justice that you are not able to effectively lead the Bureau.

    Is just gibberish, really.

    • Roadstergal

      He wanted to make it totes clear that he was totes not guilty of Russian collusion, and also too you’re fired.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        And he wasn’t going to do anything like “Thank you for your years of public service” or anything–he’s Trump.

      • sw19wilson

        And if Comey now suggests anything (nonclassified) otherwise, Trump can claim it’s sour grapes.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I feel like there’s something hidden in that sentence, too. Like, they did blow off of Russian pee hookers’ butts or something on those three separate occasions.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      A non sequitur for the history books.

    • Joe Beese

      Effectively lead this.

    • who know who else was warned three times?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Tony Orlando and Dawn?

      • Doug Langley

        Jesus’ friend Peter?

    • Boscoe

      I’m actually impressed that he didn’t also mention his “historic electoral college win”, frankly.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation, and I also greatly appreciate my historic Electoral College victory and the size of the crowds at my inauguration, I nevertheless concur with the judgment of the Department of Justice that you know too much are not able to effectively lead the Bureau.

        • Boscoe

          LOL

      • Mary Sandoras

        That’s the tell that he didn’t write it.

    • Chris

      It is gibberish but Trump didn’t write it, everything is spelled correctly. Not a bigly or a sad or a tap to be found.

      • Mary Sandoras

        You misspelled tapp.

        • Chris

          Damn auto-correct.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      That’s a Trumpite’s idea of “subtle.”

    • Doug Langley

      Just amazing how that’s foremost on his mind at the moment.

  • JurisGal

    “Trump’s deputy attorney general is pissed off about (?!?!?!) how Comey handled (?!?!?!) HILLARY CLINTON’S EMAILS?”

    Uh huh. So no more investigations then, right? This is a panic move.

  • Joe Beese

    From the No Shit Files:

    The extraordinary dismissal of the FBI director by a president whose own campaign is the focus of an ongoing FBI investigation is sure to produce a torrent of criticism that Trump is interfering with the independence of law enforcement.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/09/trump-fires-fbi-director-james-comey-238175

    • H0mer0

      ya think?

    • that’s some trenchant analysis right there.

  • Edith Prickly

    There are going to be a lot of people running around loose who know shit about Trump…

  • memzilla Ω
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      It’s live on MSNBC also too.

  • Boscoe

    So, who is Ammmld Ammmp? I bet forensic handwriting folks would have a field day with what that EKG of a “signature” says about Drumph…

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    So, if I read Trump’s “reasoning” in the 2nd paragraph of his letter:
    if (! underInvestigationBy(fbi.director)){
    fbi.director.effectivelyAbleToLead = true;
    }
    if (doj.reccomends(actions.firing, fbi.director){
    fbi.director.effectivelyAbleToLead = false;
    }

    Which sort of implies, that being under investigation means fbi.director.effectivelyAbleToLead == false

    This does not inspire confidence. Especially as the assertion that Trump’s not under investigation is possibly not something that can be confirmed given the investigation’s ongoing nature.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    I don’t think I have ever been this angry in my entire life.

    • Nick Scroggs

      What about on Election Night itself?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Not even then.

        • Nick Scroggs

          Holy crap, you must have a really good ability to stay calm.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            “Calm” isn’t the correct word. When you’ve survived a lifetime of abuse, you know how to think in a crisis.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Very good point.

        • Roadstergal

          Yeah. There were still options and possibilities, then. We hadn’t yet seen the craven complicity of the Right and his base.

    • janecita

      I seem to be running out of anger. I’m entering despair territory now.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I was despairing the other day, now I have cold anger. I’ve spent my entire life studying war, preparing for war. I wanted to be an officer in the US Navy, defending our nation from enemies.

        I think we now know whom are the real enemies.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That’s exactly what they want. Please don’t give up!

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      So you found out I cheated with Dok and Turgid Love Muscle on you. I knew we could’t keep it secret!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        You forget, I’m Bisexual and fond of Open relationships. I’d just say – no accounting for taste. XD

    • georgiaburning

      Understandable. Not your fault you missed the one 44 years ago

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I was an infant. :)

        • georgiaburning

          You did your part. You’ve survived.

    • Yr. Gma

      Don’t let it knock you off balance.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        No worries Sweetie. I am most dangerous when I am cornered. :)

    • Jukesgrrl

      You weren’t alive when Nixon fired Archibald Cox, were you? Granted, he was a Special Prosecutor and not the FBI Director, but it paved the way for this nonsense. It’s hard for anyone who lived through Watergate to be shocked by this stuff. I share your disgust, but I’m not at all sucker-punched.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I was an infant then.

  • OneYieldRegular

    That LA Times front cover: so prescient.

    “Odd Things Going On In Mississippi, Most Agree”

    That ain’t the half of it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    We need an independent investigation. We also need an a GOP that isn’t complicit in the president’s crimes. We need lots of things.

    Yup! We’re damn needy at this time! ~sigh~

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • RobKanC

    Obligatory, but her emails!!!

  • Yr. Gma

    Deja vu. As I recall, things escalated for Dickie when he fired Cox. Fingers crossed.

  • memzilla Ω

    SCHUMER DEMANDS SPECIAL PROSECUTOR. IMPLIES TRUMP CONSPIRING TO HINDER INVESTIGATION.

    • Naytch

      “Everyone will believe collusion unless a Special Prosecutor is appointed…” rough paraphrase from C-Span

  • Bill D. Burger

    The Republican Party IS the casino….and Trump is running it.

    • snark-lurker

      well plaide sur

    • WomanInThePersistence

      May it be as successful as all Trump casinos.

    • miss_grundy

      And we know what happened to his Atlantic City casinos, don’t we?????

  • Claire

    Preach, Chuck Schumer.

  • goonemeritus

    I’m betting he appoints Jared Kushner as the new FBI director.

    • marxalot

      Nah, giving him a job with a title, staff, and oversight puts dear Jared too close to Accountability.

      • goonemeritus

        How tough is it to not investigate your Father-in-law. I did that and I had another full time job plus a demanding Wonkette posting habit.

    • Ezio

      Boy that’ll get Alex Jones and the rest if the alt-righters who call him a globalist shill to pop a blood vessel.

      • goonemeritus

        As attractive as that sounds I’m still hoping he appoints someone else.

  • OrG

    Trump is scared, that could make him even more dangerous. As in war with fill in the blank.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    There is “no due respect”, Chuckie.

  • memzilla Ω

    SCHUMER SAYS IF SPECIAL PROSECUTOR IS NOT APPOINTED AMERICAN PEOPLE WILL SUSPECT COVERUP.

    • jesterpunk

      Too late Schumer.

    • bookish

      Ya think?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Yes, and the republicans in power will continue to not give a shit.

    • violet moon

      A little stronger, please, SOMEONE ANYONE

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Wouldn’t it be pretty to think so?

      No, that’s too cynical. Probably something like 73% of people will suspect a coverup and about 40% will think something should be done about it.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      The bookies won’t even take action on that proposition.

    • Randy Riddle

      Really?? Imagine that!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Joe Beese
    • Chris

      You think?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Our nation’s top sleuths over here.

    • miss_grundy

      Ya think? But that should make the rest of us who aren’t drinking the Kool-aid to smell blood in the water and demand an independent counsel to investigate Orangina’s relationship to Russia. So, besides protesting TrumpCare, we need to have sit-ins at congressional and senate offices to demand this investigation.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Roadstergal

      It’s not funny anymore. It was never all that funny, but REALLY not now.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        all the class of a supermarket tabloid. Usurption of democracy, who cares – it was a thing he used to say!

    • It’s inevitable.

    • sw19wilson

      Ya Rly.

    • RobKanC

      HEy. Atleast silver lining. Amirite!!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      It doesn’t even justify itself by being clever.

    • hendenburg2

      It’s CNN. I would say that they weren’t even trying, but they probably were.

    • Joe Beese

      I picture the headline writers high-fiving each other.

      “Nailed it!”

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You ARE the weakest link! Ah, I love me a timely joke.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Hey, CNN! Notice how Trump can’t do the signature line to someone’s face when it’s real life?

      Fucking coward.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I wonder why Comey had to tell Little Donnie THREE times that he was not being investigated.

    a) Trump asked three times
    b) Trump forgot the answer each time
    c) Comey said it once, but Trump exaggerated to three

    • jesterpunk

      Does Donny know that they can lie about investigations to avoid tipping off the suspect?

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        “Does Donny know…”

        The answer is always either NO or FUCK NO.

        • jesterpunk

          He might have seen on the TeeVee that police have to tell you they are police and that they are investigating you.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Nuh uh. The cops are obliged to tell you the truth.

      • Chris

        Trump said it so it is likely a lie.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Comey didn’t say shit, but Trump wants to believe.

      • Meccalopolis

        Or comey said , I can’t say

    • Boscoe

      C.

      Just like the 26/36/56 missiles he fired into Iraq/Syria, you can be sure the number of times he was “cleared” by Comey will increase with each retelling.

    • Chris

      If you are going to lie about it three times is more declarative than once.

    • Mary Sandoras

      AOT Katie.

    • Claire

      Three is the number of times Judas denied Jesus, isn’t it? It’s a Christian Dominionist callout of some sort.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        All three Corinthians, who I’m hearing a lot of good things about, say that’s what happened.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Beetlejuice….

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They’re like the frightened people in the Twilight Zone episode, “It’s a Good Life”. Trump is the child with godlike powers who will make them disappear if they don’t tell him how wonderful he is every day.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        It’s real good you used that analogy. We all liked it, didn’t we? Real swell.

  • memzilla Ω

    SCHUMER SAYS IF TRUMP SUSPECTED COMEY MISHANDLED CLINTON EMAILS, AND THAT’S WHY HE FIRED HIM TODAY, WHY DIDN’T HE FIRE COMEY ON JANUARY 20.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, duh! The Clinton emails “issue” is a lame, pathetic, small fingered excuse.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m sure Spicey can explain that time line. They were given a head’s up that Comey said something, but they waited 7 days until they bothered to read the papers about what he said, and then they had to fuck up the country for a few months. So you can see how it got away from them.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The noose is tightening around Donald’s treasonous neck.

    • only if republicans find there moral compass.

      (they’re moral compass is way down in the swamp)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If the GOP will not act…well, 2018 is going to be very interesting, because they’re implicated in treason as well by NOT acting.

        • OrG

          Assuming there will be elections in 2018.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            I think if that happens, the military will do the unthinkable to counter the unthinkable, and all bets are off.

      • tomamitai

        They had their moral compass degaussed years ago. Now it points wherever they need it to.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    If he’ll be missed, it will only be because his replacement will be an absolute fucking nightmare. Which, to be fair, seems highly likely.

  • aureolaborealis

    Do they know how the Nixon thing ended?

    • Joe Beese

      Nixon… fantastic guy. He’s doing an amazing job.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        nobody ever asks, watergate, why? Nobody every asks that.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Andrew Jackson could have sorted it out.

          • Chris

            I’m pretty sure Jackson was really upset about it.

      • Lizzietish81
      • Boscoe

        People are really starting to notice him. Did you know he was a Republican? Most people don’t know that. We should use one of those PACs and get that out there more.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Wait. What?

    • sw19wilson

      Incredibly famous. People talking about him all the time!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        He’s starting to get a lot of notice!…

    • mackafritz

      This difference being that the Dems were in charge of congress then.

      • tomamitai

        And enough republicans cared more about the country than their party.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Even with their majority, the Dems weren’t going to impeach Nixon if the Republicans weren’t on board. They didn’t want it to look like a partisan witch hunt. It wasn’t the Democrats who went to the WH and told Nixon he had to resign to avoid being impeached.

    • WeaselPoo

      Yeah, they kept the CH3- Sea King as Marine One from then until now, to avoid the possibility of a constitutional crisis.

    • Boscoe

      “Wait… you mean he wasn’t the greatest president of all time, other than me?”
      -Drumph

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Well, he left on a plane and never spent time in jail.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      I love you guys for this thread. The first thing I thought when I heard the Comey news was, “Huh. Saturday Night Massacre.” Second thing was, “Where can I find some snark about this?”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Ivanka or Jared will become the new FBI director.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Ah, gee. I thought that’s why Tiffany was moving to Washington.

  • mancityRed6

    Donny has done some stupid things, but by far, this takes the damn cake.
    Optics! Does no one in the administration care about the optics anymore?

    • Swampgas_Man

      If he’s already putting the coup in motion, he won’t have to care about optics ever again.

      • mancityRed6

        $100 says it’s because of Comey misspeaking about the emails found.
        That’s what they’ll say, anyway.
        This isn’t a coup, that would take some kind of brains.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Nope – it’s right there in the letter….

        • Elvis Causticfellow

          The misspeaking was the excuse, not the reason.

    • Boscoe

      They do! The problem is that they keep convincing themselves they’re coming out of these things looking great…

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Optics is too much of a grind for this administration. They’re Newton this.

      • yyyaz

        Really good at spectacles, though.

      • PubOption

        This is normal behavior for trump, not an aberration.

    • Why would Trump give a crap about the optics? The man announced his run by calling Mexicans rapists. His optics have been terrible all along and it hasn’t slowed him down in the slightest.

      • mancityRed6

        he’ll care when this all comes back to bite him in the…well, sometime. I doubt anything on heaven or earth would come near his ass.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I’m looking forward to Keith on Comey’s firing. This was just put up today.

    https://youtu.be/Poc24APzPzY

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I think there’s a newer edition, downthread….

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Thanks.

  • Nick Scroggs
    • Swampgas_Man

      Do I want to know what this is from?

      • Nick Scroggs

        Gravity Falls.

        • tomamitai

          Gravity sucks, Niagara falls.

    • HazooToo

      It me.

  • chascates

    Tiffany Trump will be starting law school at Georgetown this fall. FBI director would be a great part-time school job for her!

    • Boscoe

      Wait for iiiitttt…

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I don’t think daddy can trust her. But I’m sure Jared can do that job as well.

      • Chris

        Nah, that would keep him in town and I’m sure he would much prefer him be out of town. For the obvious reasons…

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      ‘Director What’s-her-face’ does have a nice ring to it.

  • Chris

    America can be united!

    • Boscoe

      -or untied…

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Independent Counsel, bitches!

    • La forza del resistino

      Archibald Cox would say that job can be a career killer.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Worth it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Daily Show wins twitter. Best tweet so far about Comey’s firing.
    rotflmao

    https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow/status/862065580035256320

  • BadKitty904
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “Paging Jarod……paging Jarod………where are you, you little munster?…I got a job for you…………..”

  • Master Contrail Program

    “As the former owner of the Miss USA pageant I know a lot about female body inspecting. I will apoint myself as the new F.B.I. Director and save us bigly!”

  • WeaselPoo

    Finally, another “Trump acting presidential” moment! — or IS IT??!!! ( It isn’t)

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      He’s acting PresidentNixonial.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    So, one of the FBI investigations is apparently into money laundering. The FBI is perfectly able to get all of the information it needs about trump’s business dealings, isn’t it? And they just say to the IRS, we need that shit, and the the IRS hands it over, right?….

  • Picabo

    This could be good news for the special elections in Montana and GA sixth district. It gives the Dem candidates more ammunition. With votes.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • HogeyeGrex

      AOT,K? Please?

      • Joe Beese

        If it’s Ivanka, that will free up her time to inspire and empower more women.

        • HogeyeGrex

          I don’t think hooking the maid up with jumper cables qualifies.

        • C4TWOMAN

          And sell more over priced crap.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      kinda surprised they’re still hanging on to Spicy and KAC. (Love the inclusion of Hannity in there, btw)

      • C4TWOMAN

        KAC is part of the Mercer gang. Like Bannon she’s unlikely to be ousted any time soon. I’d say Sessions or Spicey.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Jesus wept…..

    • JurisGal

      Melania is already gone when you think about it.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
  • Doug Langley

    Should it disturb me that the Saturday Night Massacre is right next to a UFO story?

    • Ωbjectifier

      It was the 70s. We were high a lot.

      • Doug Langley

        How I remember.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          How I forget…

          • Al Swearengen

            I live in CO, it’s all a big muddle.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “If you remember the 60’s, it’s obvious you weren’t there.”

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Everything since that 4th of July in Berkeley on Telegraph Hill is out of focus….

          • Doug Langley

            Lava lamps . . . disco . . . pet rocks . . . black light posters . . . John Travolta . . . Three’s Company . . . Charlie’s Angels . . .

          • Ωbjectifier
          • Joe Beese

            I’ll be in my bunk.

      • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas

        Where are the alien overlords who have been so carefully watching us and on whose wisdom I have been counting for when the shit really hits the fan? Um…guys? Beep beep? Beam on down. It’s time.

      • mancityRed6
        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          So cute!….

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, thank dog I don’t have any of the “cutoffs” pictures.

        • Doug Langley

          I was in high school and college during the 70s. Weird time to go through higher education.

          • mancityRed6

            I made it to 6 by the time Reagan was sworn in…

    • Crank Tango

      Odd things going on in Mississippi, most agree.

      • Doug Langley

        Okay, I’ll buy that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tuesday Night Massacre. And yes, we were high…on life, and America!

      • Doug Langley

        Doonesbury libelz!!!!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Good news for John McCain?
    Discuss.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Great news for John McCain.

  • goonemeritus

    I never get to fire people investigating me.

  • DainBramage
  • Chadwells

    Cornyn, Little Lady Graham and Grassley all lining up and gurgling Dampnut’s yam balls for firing Comey.

    The least surprising development of this entire clusterfuck.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Granny Grassley and Miss Lindsey clutching the pearls.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        All implicated in treason. All of them.

    • Al Swearengen

      Get it right. “saggy yam balls”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      You men swore an oath! Graham, you swore that oath TWICE!

  • CripesAmighty

    Waiting for John Dean…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mo’ Dean!

  • Nick.Trite

    Well at least Comey got what he clearly always wanted, the chance to be a martyr against the big, bad establishment.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Best of luck in your future endeavors” is not how you fire a senior government official.

    It’s how you fire the likes of me.

    • Al Swearengen

      “Best of luck writing your tell-all book”

      • bookish

        Now. Do it now. Dictate it if you have to. Serialize it in the NYT. Sing Comey, sing!

      • Suttree

        “That hopefully won’t come out until after I’m dead.”

      • aureolaborealis

        I suspect he will be clapped in irons at the first hint of spilling his guts.

    • h4rr4r

      At my company we “promote to customer”.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Does it violate Radicals’ Rules to suggest we all piss on Fred’s grave?

    • tomamitai

      Fred who?

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        “Here lies Fred, better off dead”? That Fred?

      • jesterpunk

        Maybe Fred Trump? The guy who was so racist Woodie Guthrie wrote a song specifically about him.

        • Al Swearengen

          He’d swing by his mistress’s apartment on the way to his Klan meetin’.

          • Suttree

            Like father like son.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Fred Trump: the best part of him dribbled down his leg.

    • HazooToo

      Nothing in there about grave pissing, as long as we don’t threaten to put someone IN it.

      • C4TWOMAN

        What if they accidentally trip and fall in? You know, they were wandering the graveyard, look to get the Slayer’s autograph….

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I’m sure incoming FBI Director Jared Kushner will undo the damage Comey wrought.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    I get the feeling that these people took one look at the Nixon administration and decided that their biggest mistake was not putting enough people individually loyal to potus in senior positions.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Not to mention, the Democratic party had the majority then. Republicans hold ALLthe power now.

  • bookish

    Just hit the green dragon and the Wonkette tip jar. This dick move by Trump fills me with hope.

  • Joe Beese

    The graphologists must be having a field day.

    That is not the signature of a mentally healthy individual.

    • Boscoe

      AMMMML MMMMMP

    • Suttree

      Shit I would trust a phrenologist’s opinion right now.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I learned cursive writing in school. But when I finished school, I went back to printing. Except my signature. As I typed more and wrote less, my signature became a weird scribble. Finally I just started printing my signature too. As far as I can tell, no one ever, anywhere compares signatures anyway.

  • NPR is trying to be adult about this – ron elving “it’s not hard to have an ironic response about this”.

    give it up. we have to fight. this is some terrible terrible shit.

    • Apple Scruff

      Did they also say that his actions are “unconventional”?

      Seriously FUCK NPR.

      • miss_grundy

        They have been moving to the right for quite some time now. I guess they were doing it to show they were being “balanced” in their reporting so the bad Republicans wouldn’t cut their budget.

        • Apple Scruff

          Fuck them in the left ear hole for even entertaining someone like Paris Denard.

      • Joe Beese

        Joan Kroc’s ghost wants her fucking money back.

  • Apple Scruff

    FINALLY!

    I’m glad Tweety said, “No one is buying that!” when talking about the Hillary excuse for the firing. Everyone else has been eating it up.

    • no one i am hearing or reading has been saying this.

      • Apple Scruff

        When the statement first came out, the media took it for his word. But now that it has had time to sink in, everyone is all, “Bish please”

    • miss_grundy

      But tomorrow Tweety will speak out of the other side of his mouth and say something stupid.

      • yyyaz

        He’s already referred to the firing as “the Saturday Night Live Massacre,” so …

      • Apple Scruff

        Oh, he said plenty stupid today, too.

    • BMW

      I was gonna say…they had a Republican on the phone just now saying he couldn’t understand why Democrats were mad about the firing given they have been anti-Comey since last summer.

      • Doug Langley

        Strange – I just saw a poster on Raw Story saying exactly the same thing. You’d almost think it was organized or something.

    • Shaydee

      The right wing trolls are gleefully boinking themselves screaming “She’ll be in prison soon!”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • HazooToo

      YES!!! THANK YOU BOBBY!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So Comet was a Republican who was hired by a Democrat, and fired by an insane Republican? I suspect we just gained one more Soros paid protester.

  • miss_grundy

    Because everything old is new again…….

    • GODAMMIT pants in the 70’s sucked.

      • Boscoe

        True. And hair products were fucking primordial, maaan.

        • Shaydee

          I liked the shampoo, “Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific.”

          • Boscoe

            Sure, but it wasn’t a shampoo AND a conditioner AT THE SAME TIME…

      • Doug Langley

        Fun fact: Lee Majors said the worst part of The Six Million Man was the damn bell bottoms he had to wear. Was scared he’d trip on them.

      • Joe Beese
        • Celtic_Gnome

          All right. I confess. I had bibs in the 70’s. Denim, though. I don’t do corduroy. Shit’s like fingernails on a chalk board to me.

          • Joe Beese

            Same here. I think it’s my Asperger’s over-sensitivity to texture. You could torture me by rubbing suede over my bare skin.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • mackafritz

      With republicans in charge of congress it will be the latter.

    • TJ Barke

      Given who controls congress and the senate…

      • sw19wilson

        And SCOTUS

        • TJ Barke

          We’re fucked. I vote dissolve the union.

    • Chadwells

      I suspect the attempt is for the latter but I hope it will result in the former.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Bad boy, bad boy. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
    Bad boy, bad boy. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

    • OrG

      Umm.. fire the FBI director?

    • Shaydee

      Go golfing in Scotland…

  • Tj McGee Wright

    BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP NOMINATES MAR-A-LAGO CHOCOLATE CAKE SLICE TO REPLACE COMEY. SAYS “THERE IS NOTHING BETTER”

    • Crank Tango

      Ivanka’s ass libel.

      • sw19wilson

        True, Ivanka is an ass.

    • Me not sure

      “Alt-right in Breitbart demands white cake.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • jesterpunk

      He doesnt know you typically dump bad news on a Friday night.

      • miss_grundy

        Or Saturday night, if you didn’t do it after they shut the presses down for the night at the newspaper plant.

      • Joe Beese

        Or… he couldn’t wait that long.

      • Shaydee

        But he wanted to impress his top adviser, JaredIvanka, who is news blacked out on Friday evening -Saturday evening. He couldn’t wait that long.

  • Me not sure

    Keith Olbermann will have a field day with this. Just a reminder that the opposite of liberal is authoritarian, not conservative. They have been muddying the water on that since FDR. This guy knows nothing about history or self control. This smells of authoritarian Fascism, pure and simple.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    2018 is now a two issue campaign. Russian influence on the GOP and saving healthcare for America.

    • Marceline

      I think there will be a third issue: how does the country move forward after nuclear war?

  • Mary Sandoras
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    im reading all your witty comments on this before going to class, and I’m thinking the sard part is – trump’s base will love this. Comey was secretly for hillary! He’s a closet liberal!

    I’m too lazy and afraid to see what the common folk are saying out there.

    • Khavrinen

      Yeah, it’s so obvious! Why else would he leak that stuff eleven days before the election, ensuring tRump would be elected!

      Wait, what?

      • Boscoe

        False flag, duh!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      Outrageous FAKE NEWS! Stehman must apologize!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      well, i think he said in the termination letter, but yeah. I give it till dawn tomorrow at most.

    • Shaydee

      With his new banner! Thumbs up everyone!

  • Mary Sandoras
  • Bill D. Burger

    Even this from Moaning HO Scarborough.

    https://twitter.com/JoeNBC/status/862075597102747648

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I HEREBY DECLARE: 1973 DANCE PARTY!!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwcu1Qm9pA0

  • Ezio

    Best tweet I have seen all day on this:

    “GOP spent years on a bogus Benghazi investigation & Obama didn’t interfere.

    Now they cheer when Trump intrudes & fires the FBI director.”

    • jesterpunk

      IOKIYAR

  • Red Bird Ω

    OK. So, bets are being taken for impeachment, resignation or exile to Russia. I’m going with resignation myself.

    • jesterpunk

      I dont see him resigning, his ego wont allow it. Its going to be either an impeachment and him being led out in cuffs or he will take Air force 1 to Russia.

      • sw19wilson

        Resigning for “ill health” and 46Pence giving him a full metal pardon on the way out the door.

        • HogeyeGrex

          I actually expect Pence to be smart and bolt like a common Agnew as soon as he sees the shit heading for the fan.

      • Shaydee

        Well … Trump would never ever use the old standard …”To spend more time with family …” Ha!

      • HogeyeGrex

        Impeachment ain’t gonna happen with a GOP House.
        Zero chance.
        He’s in ’til 2019, barring abdication or assassination, neither of which I think is likely.

        If we can take the House in ’18, impeachment is a fair certainty. If I were running against an incumbent Rep, I would make it a front and center issue.

        • jesterpunk

          I wouldnt bet on that. Once Trump becomes too much of a liability they will suddenly remember they claim to care about the country and get rid of him.

          • HogeyeGrex

            That would require them admitting they were wrong, something they are physically incapable of. They’ll ride that burning wreck all the way down, because they know that if/when it goes, they have nothing left. Sure, the odd one or three will peel off and mumble some limp lip service to sanity, but for the most part, the GOP has made themselves into one big inseparable rat-king.

          • jesterpunk

            Remember prior to the election republicans where suing over ads tying them to Trump when they thought he would lose. They would also throw their own mother under the bus if it helped them. But you also may be right too.

          • HogeyeGrex

            They hadn’t opened a vein for him at that point yet. Now, they have all tied themselves to him. If he goes down, he’s taking the whole fucking party with him. I don’t have much doubt that, like many criminal enterprises, they demand some debilitating illegal action from their members so leadership has dirt on them.

        • dshwa

          If the GOP think the Dems will retake the House, and the evidence of wrongdoing is so massive it can’t be ignored, and Pence is implicated, they’ll impeach Trump and pence to ensure it’s President Ryan (shudder) and not Pelosi.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Impeachment takes time. They won’t be able to play both sides of that fence leading up to an election. Starting a trial close enough would be seen as a tacit admittance of complicity, and the Dems would just delay the damned thing as long as they could, until after the election when they could finish the job and put Pelosi in.

      • Rags

        Stroking out is an option.

        • jesterpunk

          Just as long as he can share that with Pence too.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Whoda fuckz gonna fly that asshat to Russia? Not any of our flyboys, unless they plan to stay there with him.

    • h4rr4r

      I’ll take none of the above.
      The GOP will protect him and let him serve out his term as a lame duck. Just like he already is.

  • Picabo

    I thought I was going to get some work done tomorrow. Not gonna happen. Malcolm Nance is scheduled to be on Stephanie Miller’s show tomorrow. The target is getting buggy.

    • Shaydee

      Love Stephanie Miller!

  • Mary Sandoras
    • HogeyeGrex

      Trumpistas will now say, “Nuh uh. He never said that!” even more.

      • Mary Sandoras

        Collective amnesia.

        • Khavrinen

          Aggressive collective amnesia: They’re able to forget things tRump said, even before he says them!

  • Lizzietish81
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Trump and Sessions only THINK they are gangsters, but they are “cocksucking pranksters”.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I can’t believe they kept it quiet for a whole week.

    • Joe Beese

      Leave Mika out of this.

      • Shaydee

        Yeah… blow something … but not his back …

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        She’s already throwing sideshade. It’s just what she does….

    • well, yeah. fucking better be.

    • HogeyeGrex

      GOP Congress: **crickets**

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    We’re missing the point. Comey’s Trump-Russia investigation was getting too close to Russia. So Vladimir picked up the phone to call his cock holster.

    • Shaydee

      You can’t say that !! You can’t say that !!

  • i must say i’m glad NPR is pre-empting marketplace to cover the death of the republic.

    (though i love me some kai).

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      1. Never brews fresh pot of coffee after finishing the last one.
      2. Borrowed pad of Post-It Notes and never returned it.

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        3. Warmed up leftover fish in break-room microwave.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          4. Kept clipping his fingernails at his desk.

          • Joe Beese

            5. Spoiled last night’s episode of Better Call Saul.

          • Khavrinen

            Holy FSM, with a list of crimes like that, they’re going to settle for merely firing him?!

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          6. Made linguini with canned clams.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        The bastard!

      • aureolaborealis

        7. Falling behind on sales calls for Ivanka’s new high-priced cheap clothing line.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Like everything else they do. Conclusion first, then try to fill in the blanks.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Saturday Night Live Massacre
    -Chris Matthews just now

    • BMW

      I heard him say that, and it had to be an accident since I don’t think he could say something that funny on purpose.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I just said to the missus I sez I sez Tweety is gonna go full Nixon/Watergate. He did not disappoint. He’s so fired up he’s made several boners already.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        He has writers when he needs something funny or smart.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I heard that too. *snort*

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Melissa McCarthy is on it.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      I occasionally watch him for the same reason I occasionally watch NASCAR–for the crashes.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    ” I yhink the only logical conclusion is that Comey was getting too close to the Russian and Trump connection.” Senator Heinrich, NM. On msnbc.

    • whoa! i had to look him up (party). he is pretty pretty.

      how did i miss this?

  • C4TWOMAN

    I was expecting a coda blog for the day.


    The new acting director of the FBI will be its current deputy director, Andrew McCabe, who is married to a known Democrat lady and is pals with Virginia Democratic Governor
    Terry McAuliffe, so Trump will fire him later tonight on Twitter
    probably.

    Only once he hand picks someone to succeed.

    Spoiler: that someone will probably be part of the rogue Russian Doll FBI faction.

    • jesterpunk

      Chris Christie or Rudy “noun,verb, 9/11”?

  • Reximus
  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Now, I think, might not be a good time to shop my new theatrical script entitled What Ever Happened to Siegfried Buback?

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    Well now.

    Building a case

    Senior White House and Justice Department officials had been working on building a case against Mr. Comey since at least last week, according to administration officials. Attorney General Jeff Sessions had been charged with coming up with reasons to fire him, the officials said.

    — Michael S. Schmidt

    https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/05/09/us/politics/comey-trump-fbi-live.html?smid=tw-share&referer=https://t.co/jmihYkOao3

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      “building a case” is a weird way to say “desperately looking for an excuse, no matter how flimsy”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Damn, Scar’ is killin’ it. I’m soooo’ cornfused.

    https://twitter.com/JoeNBC/status/862072031961116672

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    cover up a comin’

  • BMW

    Sen. Schumer asked at his press conference a half hour ago if Trump was really firing Comey for how Comey handled the Hillary email scandal last year, why did he wait 3 months after taking office to do it?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    At what point do we decide votes and investigations aren’t good enough unless they’re public and watched by independent organizations?

    • jesterpunk

      6 months ago?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Then why do people still think this will fix itself? It really, really won’t.

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://twitter.com/JoeNBC/status/862068886224728064

    Dickhead had to get in a little dig.

    • jesterpunk

      Wait now they are claiming Clownface is a democrat?

      • Chadwells

        He was.

        • DT

          He was registered as a Democrat in a place where the republicans don’t have control.

          • Chadwells

            Apples and oranges….but he’s still a fruit.

          • Tj McGee Wright

            Definitely Orange. Or some kind of kool-aid orange substitute goop.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Flavor-aid Libelz!11!11!

      • DT

        .OF COURSE they are.

      • sw19wilson

        His expiry date must be coming up…

        • jesterpunk

          Yep, they typically “accidentally” have the republicans labelled as democrats when they do something super illegal.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        He was, and it’s an article of faith among the National Review crowd that he still is at heart, that the worst thing about him is the liberalism he just can’t shake.

        • jesterpunk

          I really dont think he was ever a real democrat, just pretended to be one when he lived in NYC for business reasons.

          • jowgajen

            Trump has no ideology or moral center that is not Trump himself. Party is utterly irrelevant to him.

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            I frankly doubt he ever voted. He did say a few critical things about Reagan, but saying critical things is not exactly hard labor for the man.

          • georgiaburning

            Reagan was once a Democrat TOO!

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            Yeah, but he was a real Democrat.

          • Parakeetist

            Yep.

      • Meccalopolis

        Of course, that was always the plan

    • Joe Beese

      Senators don’t give a fuck about legacy.

    • Crank Tango

      .. a failed con-man from…gasp…New York City!

    • sw19wilson

      Meanwhile, in an Alternate Universe, Mika is tweeting something similar about Bernie.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        But Hillary is president.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      …huh.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      And so the whitewashing begins…”He was never a Republican! He was always a Democrat plant!”

      • Me The People

        Paid by Soros!

      • LarryHoudini

        Hey, if that’s what it takes to get Republicans on board, I agree: he’s the biggest patchouli wearing, kale eating lieberal demonrat on the face of the earth.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Ugh. Is that going to be Republicans excuse when the missiles start flying?

      “That Democrat tricked us!!”

      Fuuuuuuuuuck you.

      • sw19wilson

        Trump’s going to eventually find out what it’s like to be one of the many contractors he stiffed, after their usefulness dried up.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Just like the Germans will be judged forever by that national SOCIALIST they voted into power

      • Tj McGee Wright

        Wasn’t that ‘NATIONAL socialist’ ?
        LEARN UR hiSTORIES omega-thing!

    • Tj McGee Wright

      Woah now JoeJoe. Don’t try passing that steaming pile of turdsplosion onto us! Our party weren’t the dumb hicks who nominated the illiterate fuck.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yes, Joe. The problem is how LIBERAL Trump is.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Drip drip drip. Let the leaks begin.

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      More than a drip now. And the stupid part is that Trump and his toadies aren’t going to be able to control the story. At. All.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    The thing that distresses me is not that Trump is a traitorous narcissist. He’s an ignorant Dick and everyone knows it. The problem is that the entire fuckwad of the
    Republican Party is going along with it. That’s the scary part.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ^^^^ THIS ^^^^
      Complicit.

      • TrumpsCombover

        ….cept Ivanka doesn’t know what that word means.

        • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas

          Like bloody hell she doesn’t.

          • Laurenajohnson

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sa403c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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        • Beanz&Berryz

          She thinks it’s a fancy word for hoo haw

    • georgiaburning

      That’s the deal. Tax cuts, gutting programs, and stuffing the courts in exchange for kissing Drumpf’s butt and letting him stay in the White House whenever he feels like it.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Burning down a metric shit-ton more than Georgia.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Think of it this way – our enemies are in the open. They have exposed their true natures, and none can honestly deny that.

      It’ll be a Target-rich environment, as Aviators put it.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        We just need the (political) tools appropriate for a target rich environment, and/or allies who have the tools.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          There’s a lot of work to do, that’s for certain.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Don’t forget, there were over two years from the break in at Watergate to Nixon’s resignation. May be slow but consistently moving forward is the key.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          And all we have are the Tools currently running the House and Senate.

    • C4TWOMAN

      It is. At the very least you’d expect a moderate to use this as an opportunity to make a name for themselves and grandstand about Treason, etc.

      This implies everyone in the GOP is cowed/blackmailed/or compromised in some way. Not counting the ones who are pleased as punch, of course…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ben Sasse seems to be the only one with any sort of spine.

    • Edith Prickly

      Yes. They aren’t even trying to mask their cynicism now. They’ll let him destroy the government to get what they want. We always knew that, but it’s terrifying to see it so openly.

    • Pat_Pending

      Think about every idiot middle management boss you’ve ever had. Same shit.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      “Becoming?”

  • Meccalopolis

    Looking like a constitutional crisis

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      We’ve been in a crisis since January. He admitted to being a serial criminal on a hot mic, for cheese and rice.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        We’ve been in crisis since October 28.

      • Meccalopolis

        You’re right

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Since Trump has access to all information from intelligence and judicial and everywhere else, it seems obvious to me he knows how close the investigation was getting.

  • Reximus
  • not_vh
  • Al Swearengen

    Even the ghost of Richard Nixon is getting in on this

    https://twitter.com/NixonLibrary/status/862083605081862145

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      The Richard Nixon Library, attempting to distance themselves from Donald Trump, today tweeted NIXON LIBELZ!!!!

      • OrG

        Wow

    • sw19wilson
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      should have scrolled down, posted the same.

      • jesterpunk

        It deserves to be posted multiple times.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You know, when Nixon looks more ethical than you…..

      • OrG

        If there’s aren’t multiple prison sentences, USAmerica is gone.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Sadly, it’s even money these days. It depends on whether there are enough Republicans who actually love their country more than their party.

          • jowgajen

            That question was answered when Trump became nominee. Keep up.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Granted.I’m just a goofy optimist sometimes.

          • Doug Langley

            More like when they suddenly decide Prima Donnie’s killing their re-election chances.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Is trump on his way to Mar-A-Dorko to get some work done?

    • snark-lurker

      you know where he is? unseen for days now

  • barry’s going to lead the resistance from a bunker in hyde park / kenwood. this is why malia is taking a gap year and michelle taught us all to grow vegetables.

    • sw19wilson

      23-dimensional chess, man!

  • Suttree

    Over at blighfart they are celebrating. Apparently Comey was a Dem and now Jeff Sessions can put Obama and Hillary in jail. My brain hurts now. I need another drink.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Guy who helped lead the impeachment of President Bill Clinton was a secret Democratic operative all along. Sure, let’s go with that…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It serves you right. Going to that awful place.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I was wondering how it would be spun. Thank you for your sacrifice, comrade.

      • Suttree

        I was too curious to see. These people just don’t give a fuck about what they were saying 6 months ago. I’m sure he was a Patriot a few days before the election.

    • TJ Barke

      These peoole would machine gun their neighbors for suspected liberalism if they could get away with it.

      • Suttree

        Their mother also too.

    • Suttree

      If I had the fortitude, i would go back into their archives and see what they said about Comey right before the election.

  • Internet Hitler

    Jesuz Kriste! Did aliens fly over Mississippi to give Nixon orders to start firing his enemies list!! How long has Wonkette been sitting on this bombshell???!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Not long. And how do you do?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • data_ninja

      I regret that when I used to visit the building he worked in, that I never stopped in to shake his hand.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    How will Little Donnie blame this on Obama?

    1) Obama appointed Comey without vetting him
    2) Obama should have fired Comey for not arresting Hillary
    3) Obama is black

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Although he’s #2, the real answer is #3.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      4) Obama was just joking.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    The Nixon Library is subtweeting the president of the United States. Okay. https://t.co/bXDlM3yfWO— Lizzie O'Leary (@lizzieohreally) May 9, 2017

    • jesterpunk

      Oh damn.

  • Ezio

    It’s like the apprentice only the boss is too scared to fire someone in person.

  • La forza del resistino

    Independent prosecutor time?
    Where have you gone, Sally Yates oh
    Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you
    Wu wu wu

  • TootsStansbury

    So when is it time to shut down the whole works and demand justice? It’s nice to go into the streets on weekends but this shit is serious.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Just a six-month ban on all presidential activity while we figure out what’s going on.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        how about all federal activity – congress, scrotus, everything’s been infected with Trump.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Sheeeeeeet…. I say we let put a hold on things until 2020

      • TootsStansbury

        This is all nice and stuff but I meant getting in the streets and shutting down everything. Siege the Capitol. Stop this shit now.

  • miss_grundy

    I think Tweety is speaking to Rep. Adam Schiff about Comey and the TrumpCare legislation.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    This be treason. Make the most of it.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    People are going to be googling “how to overthrow a dictator” quite a bit soon, I imagine.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Cue Bz&Bz: Coastal secession.

  • Sister Suffragette

    Talking about the purported rationale for Comey’s firing, Jeffrey Toobin on CNN has used the word “lie” about 50 times tonight. It’s refreshing to hear someone on TV news actually say it loud and clear.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It’s about fucking time.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Do you not watch Rachel, Joy, or Lawrence?

      • Sister Suffragette

        Rachel yes, the other two not as much. But most of these clowns are all “not entirely accurate,” “not completely truthful,” and similarly mealymouthed phrases.

    • Toobin always seemed like a no BS, rule of law kind of guy

      • alpacapunchbowl

        He wrote a decent book about SCOTUS a few years back. He knows his shit.

  • KevinShinn

    “Treason doth never prosper. What is the reason? For if it prospers, none dare call it treason.”~John Harrington
    It can’t be repeated enough

  • canes_pugnaces

    This feels more and more like a soft coup. Impossible you say? Not even close, you mutter? Well, think Pol Pot. Think Pinochet. Think fucking Hitler.

    So the question is should I watch The Americans tonight and forget I live in the 21st Century? Definitely opening a good Burgundy.

    • C4TWOMAN

      If it is (a soft coup) you know Donnie’s not behind it. Bannon?

    • i was watching ‘the hollow crown’ (again). seems like a decent fit.

      though last night we watched American Gods which was…so amazing.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Watching The Americans is always called for.

  • Begin Anew Day

    (overheard by the Comey house neighbors about two hours ago)

    “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! ”

    (the neighbors saw the wife run out the front door and then heard a lot of glassware and windows breaking)

    • Joe Beese

      I used to live on the opposite side of an apartment house wall from a woman who must have been on some kind of disability. She might have had Tourette’s. Whenever she was frustrated, I would hear her yell “Fuckfuckfuck!” – as one long word.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Well. I also too only say one bad word when something’s bad. But I say it a lot of times.

  • Bebecca

    May you live in interesting times.

  • not_vh

    what trump thought about comey and his handling of hillary’s email.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Psdzf_HQSk

    • C4TWOMAN

      Welp, that will come in handy if Comey has to litigate for his severance.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “I never said that. I never said that. Fake news from the fake news media. Never said it.”

  • CATMAN

    Like the animal that crawled under your house and died, the stench from the Russian connections will only get stronger over time and will resist all attempts to cover it up

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Smells like borscht.

  • Ezio

    Fun fact btw: Nixon never fired the director of the FBI.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Well, that’s because Hoover had film of him kicking puppies.

    • as the nixon library tweeted.

      when you’re being trolled by the nixon library…

  • Lucas Foxx

    Comey was to testify Thursday in closed session.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Don’t cancel!!!

    • jesterpunk

      Can he say more in a closed session then Yates could in an open session?

      • Lucas Foxx

        I would think so, but not having the position will also limit what he can say. He does have the freedom of knowing he doesn’t have a future with the administration.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Still might…unless he has an accident installing a hot tub and falls out a window after stabbing himself in the back 13 times…..

      • Lucas Foxx

        Hmmm… that’s true… and Citizen Comey might have more to say.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    FBI rank and file: I did nazi that coming.

  • anon_the_great

    It’s the first smart thing Steve Bannon has done. Dems are now defending a Republican who threw the election to the Republicans. Genius.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      In this case, I think the Dems are defending the office. And the ongoing investigation into Trump/Russia.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        or teh firing at least – i like to think we’re lessa bout the person and more about lawful and fair; we’re critical of this move b/c of the stench of corruption – i don’t think any of us LIKED comey.

        • calliecallie

          Yeah, interfering with an ongoing FBI investigation, that’s a thing, right? Would this qualify? Seems like Lenny would put the cuffs on you for that.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Especially from Sessions. Who “recused himself”.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Comey can fuck off and die. This was still a corrupt bullshit move by Trump.

      • anon_the_great

        Yes, and… You seem under the illusion facts and rationality have purchase.

    • Reximus

      except NOBODY will trust the #TrumpRussia investigation findings that the new guy tries to sell

      • anon_the_great

        Nobody trusts anybody about anything. That’s the point of this gang of nihilists.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That may be what they’re counting on.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Let me guess. You were not an enthusiastic Hillary supporter.

  • Jared James

    When I say TRUMP you say RUSSIA. Ready?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Squirrel!

      No, wait. That’s not it. I’ll come on again.

      • TootsStansbury

        Moose!

    • Annie Jomes

      TRUMP!

      Shit! This is harder than it looks.

  • Bozilingus

    Donnie doesn’t know, but it’s time for some absinthe.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEFJWcAe8J0

  • JurisGal

    Enjoying Hardball, for a change. Turned to baseball when Halperin came on, not up for his BS. Panic, panic, panic.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Smart move. It’s hard to understand him with trump’s cock in his mouth. Does your team have any interest in taking Matt Harvey off the Metsies hands?

      • JurisGal

        Ha, the Sox ( Red) do need pitching with Wright out for the season and Price not back yet but they’ve enough drama with unfortunate fans so….

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I’m tired of having to root for unlikable players.

          • JurisGal

            Schilling! I rooted for him when he was on the Diamondbacks because I hate the NYY. I rooted for him when he was on the Sox, too but man, do I miss the days when I knew nothing about the players on my favorite team or the owners. Sometimes, ignorance is indeed bliss.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            I had to root for Eddie Murray, Bret Saberhagen and Vince Coleman at one time. All Hall of Fame assholes.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    In Russian States, rat fuck you

  • calliecallie

    For what it’s worth, I wrote all my congresscritters and Ryan. I would write to McConnell, but I don’t speak turtle.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I’m not 100% sure if cowabunga is really part of their vernacular.

  • Claire
    • Msgr_MΩment

      8. In Hell, Richard Nixon rolled his eyes and wondered where the fuck this GOP was back in the 1970s. And then he was dipped back into the shit pit.

      Sweet.

    • Joe Beese

      We no longer have a functioning Justice Department.

      No functioning State Department either.

      Next up: the fucking Post Office.

  • biologydave

    Wow. All this fuss just to put Hilary in jail.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Nope. Not a chance….

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Oooh. Tweety knows the mathematical difference between necessary and sufficient conditions.
    Color me impressed.

    • not_vh

      ok. who is tweety?

  • Bebecca

    So I wonder how Comey feels now about insulating Trump during the election?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Nauseous????

      • Slamtundra

        Well, mildly.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Lordy!…

  • Ezio
  • Ninja0980

    The Trumpbots think Hillary and Obama will be led away in handcuffs by the end of the year.
    What a joke.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      He got the name Cheeto Hitler for a reason.

    • jesterpunk
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i still keep waiting to hear a decent answer to “why” or “What for?” Ask them that and they’re heads explode. For HRC, yeah yeah, servers, but they don’t have anything close to a reason for bamz.

      Speaking of whichi, who thinks the new FBI Dir. “reopens” the investigation into Clinton? What are the odds we actually do see feds aresting hillary?

      Maybe I”m being a fatalist, but that picture would doom Dems. for awhile – even if the charges were eventually dropped (cause no way htey’d get a conviction)

  • DainBramage
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      “Comey lettered” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

    • not_vh

      like the fox’s complaint about the moss on the north facing fence

  • Jgb979

    “While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation”

    😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

    WHY THE EFF WOULD YOU SAY THIS. WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT RUSSIA. ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE FIRING HIM BECAUSE HE GAVE FALSE CLINTON TESTIMONY.

    he literally is one of the stupidest fucking people on the planet. It’s like watching a toddler try to argue his way out of treason charges.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, at least he’s leaving a paper trail…

      • “M”

        THIS. Makes putting together an evidentiary chain a piece of cake.

    • Me The People
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I know you’re treasonous, but what am I?

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Sen. Warner says Comey will testify tomorrow as planned.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Sorry! Thursday.

      • georgiaburning

        Pee hooker tapes should be out by then

        • Elvis Causticfellow

          Dear God: Make that happen and I will believe in you ’til the end of my days.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          As long as I don’t have to watch them.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Don’t worry. They’ll be tastefully pixelized because of the children.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And us other delicate souls. I never, ever want to see a picture of a sexually aroused Donald Trump. Never, never, never.

          • aureolaborealis

            The children in the videos?

          • C4TWOMAN

            Ewww…

            I suppose I should have put “because of the children” in Bible values scare quotes. I hope there are no minors on the tape.

      • DainBramage

        Hope he doesn’t meet with an unfortunate accident before then.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Do NOT crank your own car, man!!!!!!!!!!!

  • calliecallie

    “Brazen, craven attempt to stifle the rule of law…” someone just said this on Hardball. Man, this is nuts.

  • Suse
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      SO NOW THE MEDIA RECOGNIZES AND UNDERSTANDS THE START OF A DICTACTORSHIP?!?! WE’RE HALFWAY IN, COMRADES! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG???

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        There will be a reckoning, MSM. Don’t doubt that for a Fucking Instant.

        There. Will. Be. A. Reckoning.

        • TootsStansbury

          I call dibs on David Green. Steve Inskeep too if that’s not being too greedy.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            They are yours.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Distracted by all those ratings? I swear, if an alien invasion was about to land on any of their buildings, anchors would be like:

        “The Aliens are landing on our roof! We’ll get you an exclusive on their plan to kill all humans on sight!”
        “Excuse me, Alien invader, can I ask you–”

        *ZORCH*

        • WomanInThePersistence

          “War of the Worlds” libelz!

  • JerryRich

    This action is:
    A. Ill-judged in substance and stupid in timing

    B. Completely desperate

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yes.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Nao we can haz pee hooker tapes? Not sure I want…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      If anything is ever released (looking at YOU, Tom Arnold), I look forward to GOP Congresscritters feigning shock and surprise at what a BAD BAD MAN Trump turned out to be.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        And how he used to be a Democrat! He TRICKED us!

    • C4TWOMAN

      At this point no one who has them has an interest in releasing them:
      Russia–Putin likes his puppet
      Wikileaks– a couple hosts in Russia. If they did it on their own, they might be compromised.
      Assange–too afraid at this point. He’d have to pass them off to someone

      Yeah, it’s a pickle. If we ever find out they were destroyed because law enforcement once again outsmarted themselves and waited too long…
      I’ll [————-REDACTED————-], just see if I don’t!

  • OrG

    Well,it sure looks like getting neapolitan ice cream sammiches was a good idea.

    • Suse

      Yum!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That’s not chocolate….

  • JMP

    How’s that corruption that got Donald Trump into the White House going for you, Mr. Comey?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    Let the haters and fools not forget – I’ve been through shit in my life. But I’m still here. I’ve stood alone my whole life, and I’m still fighting.

    You want to bet against me, Motherfuckers?

    • Suse

      Oh, Anna. I wish you peace and love. You’re such a sweet, intelligent, and beautiful soul.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        ~hugs~ Thank you Suse. I doubt I’ll ever have peace, but I’ve been through worse than that Needle-dick Traitor in the White House and all of his Lickspittle syncophants can comprehend.

    • Picabo

      “Jonathan sighed. The price of being misunderstood, he thought. They call you devil or they call you god.”
      ― Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

    • Ezio
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    So. Tired. of Winning.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Pivot!

  • Begin Anew Day

    Yo Jimmy!

    Does it burn? I understand there is a support group for people like you, people who do favors for donnie and then get shafted by him in return.

    And no I am not going to tell you the name of the group. You’re a former FBI guy, you find it out for your own self.

    Excuse me now because I have to get out the door and attend my Laughter Anonymous group meeting. Tonights topic? You, Jimmy, we are laughing at you.

    • Joe Beese

      The tragedy of a man who ratfucked for the wrong candidate.

      • Begin Anew Day

        “tragedy”?

        Our nation has entered a tragedy.

        But James C.? For donnie to bug fuck James C. after the way James C. HELPED donnie is Divine COMEDY.

        They may have to add another circle to hell just to accommodate James Comey.

  • Bill D. Burger

    So….Omarosa is the replacement? Perhaps Melania, if Jared and Ivanka are too overworked. Mel is probably good undercover? ~boom~

    • Mr. Blobfish

      FBI Director Ivanka sez “back off,sister “.

  • Big question: did this happen in time for Sam Bee to get her teeth into it?

  • Sister Suffragette

    Richard Burr put out a surprisingly strong statement for a Republican.

    “I am troubled by the timing and reasoning of Director Comey’s termination. I have found Director Comey to be a public servant of the highest order, and his dismissal further confuses an already difficult investigation by the Committee. In my interactions with the Director and with the Bureau under his leadership, he and the FBI have always been straightforward with our Committee. Director Comey has been more forthcoming with information than any FBI Director I can recall in my tenure on the congressional intelligence committees. His dismissal, I believe, is a loss for the Bureau and the nation.”

    • C4TWOMAN

      Hmmm….interesting.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      And is Mr. Burr actually going to do anything about this? Or are we in “thoughts and prayers” territory?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Director Comey has been more forthcoming with information than any FBI Director I can recall in my tenure on the congressional intelligence committees.”

      Well now, that’s the whole problem, isn’t it?

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Obligatory David Bowie “I’m Afraid of Americans.”

    The man was a prophet, always and forever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7APmRkatEU

    • Suse

      I’m afraid of Americans, too.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Source: Comey at the "rocket docket" yesterday in Virginia that expedites cases, submitting intel. Trump panicked. #FBIDirector #Comey fired— Andrea Chalupa (@AndreaChalupa) May 9, 2017

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Please, FSM, please. I don’t pray to you that often,…..

  • Ezio

    Funny how the wingnuts who despise people from third world countries elected a man whose administration resembles that of one.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • h4rr4r

      Deport him to Russia!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Ecuadorian Embassy in DC?

    • not_vh

      and throw the keys

    • OrG

      LOCK THEM UP. FIFY

  • Beowoof14

    Wow I do remember that night, as a freshman college student. And here all these years later another republican dirtbag trying to run a coup. I’m terrified of what’s next.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I was twelve and I had been watching the hearings. I never understood Ford’s pardon until I read his posthumously published memoir, “Write It When I’m Gone”. Good read.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Three words of advice for Trump: Better call Saul.

    • tehbaddr

      I think Mike is the only one who could really straighten the situation out!

  • memzilla Ω

    SCHIFF CALLS FOR INDEPENDENT PROSECUTOR, ACCUSES WHITE HOUSE OF INTERFERING WITH CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8fa3e3221d9b763b7941fb88070de911e04b90dc72e9c5e5f60810e013ddbbce.jpg

    • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas

      “Public confidence.” Is that still a thing?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        To the extent that Trump is running a confidence game in public, yes.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Comey wasn’t investigating the “leaks” – I’ll bet that’s what got Drumpf pissed off at him.

    OT: Was gifted a bottle of Woodford Reserve. Time for a taste test vs. Elijah Craig. (That’s better than admitting that Il Douche is driving me to drink, innit?)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36fc6ed037ec16ef6a49a01560af6e74cec5b8840c72872f5913f1442784c32d.jpg

    • jowgajen

      Have fun testing. ;)

    • beautiful.

    • msanthropesmr

      Woodford. Hands down. No contest.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Much smokier; the EC is sweeter and smoother, much like Maker’s Mark. Can’t decide which I like better. Yet.

    • The Wanderer

      I used Woodford Reserve to make bacon jam. Added a nice smoky note.

    • Sister Suffragette

      I think that’s completely ON topic.

    • kareemachan

      Inquiring minds want to know which you like better!

      ETA: Not for me, I detest bourbon. But my SO lurves it. As for me, Scotch, Armagnac, Grand Marnier, or Drambuie. Yeah, I have expensive taste sometimes…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bourbon really isn’t really that far off from scotch on the taste-o-meter.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yes. Yes it is.

      • aureolaborealis

        My favorite manifestation of Bourbon is Laphroaig Quarter Cask, which tastes nothing like Bourbon, but uses Bourbon barrels.

  • Suse

    Fucking Comcast!!! Or maybe it’s the Russkis interfering with the satellite.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m streaming msnbc through the youtubes.

  • Jennaratrix

    Holy shiitake mushrooms.

  • Bill D. Burger

    New FBI director. Calls himself “Boris”…..looks familiar.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_aqh4MUMAA5c1N.jpg

    • Suse

      Looks like a ’70s porn actor. Is he wearing black socks?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Black socks with sandals. Very Eastern European.

      • aureolaborealis

        A 70s porn star in 1998.

  • WHERE is Katniss Everdeen when we really need her?

  • Apple Scruff

    They just said on MSNBC that now Comey is free to come and testify before the Senate whenever they call him.

    I wonder if Trump knew this?

    • Chadwells

      “I wonder if Trump knew this?”

      HAHAHAHA!!! Now THAT is funny AF!!!

    • Jesse

      I smell a metric fuckload of OOPS! headed trump’s way…

    • C4TWOMAN

      The real question is did Bannon know it? And if not, why not?
      Fuck sakes what’s it going to take to get a competent supervillian around here?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    I just read that the Attorney General is the one who gets to choose a special prosecutor.

    Yeah, that’ll work.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    There was no Russia Collusion Investigation. YOU ALL IMAGINED IT

    • Khavrinen

      This is not the Russia Collusion Investigation you’re looking for.
      Move along.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    They really expected it would just blow over? REALLY?
    https://twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/862091523453841408

    • jowgajen

      Wait. What?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I guess they figured since we didn’t like him, if he got canned we’d be like “Good riddance to bad rubbish”.
        You know, because we wouldn’t consider the reasoning specious and the timing incredibly suspicious.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      I guess they *really* are This Stupid.

      • Annie Jomes

        I was literally thinking the exact same thing as I scrolled down and saw your post. They really are THIS STUPID. Amazing.

      • msanthropesmr

        ANd that – is the saving grace. They are.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          You’re right. They are Tiddlywinks players trying to run a Chess Tournament.

    • Suse

      JFC!

    • IOnlyLikeCats
    • Doug Langley
    • Suttree

      Those are all words in English. Other than that it is meaningless.

    • Jamoche

      Got news for them – telling people what kind of reality to accept didn’t work in 1984 either.

  • Picabo
    • Suse

      Hahaha!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suttree

      Ted Nugent.

  • harryeagar

    On NPR this morning, former spook Hayden was interviewed on the subject of Flynn and why it took so long to fire him. Hayden said he thinks Trump is very loyal to people who have been loyal to him.

    Oops.

    First, nobody else has noticed Trump’s loyalty. What I’ve noticed is that people near him usually end up eating shit in public.

    Second, if there is one person Trump ought to be reciprocally loyal to, it’s Comey.

    Third, if you are an elected Republican, it’s spine time: either you support an independent prosecutor or you don’t have one.

    • Suttree

      I’m saying my prayer to Gilgamesh right now!

  • Treg Brown
    • Shanzgood

      I dunno. Twats are rather nice.

      *looks down*

      Yeah. Donald Trump is a LOT less nice than my twat.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Pics or…no…I don’t want baconz to end up back in the joint for killing me…

      • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas

        Turnip wishes he was as nice as yer twat, gurl.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Well, that goes without saying. Hell a baboon’s twat is nicer than Trump.

        • Shanzgood

          Hey!

          • C4TWOMAN

            Well, you clearly have the baboon beat by light years.
            *looks for place to put shovel down*

  • Bill D. Burger

    Who will replace Comey?

    Tiffany 3-1; Barron 2-1; Scott Baio 2-1 ; Jared Kush even money.

    • Master Contrail Program

      John Barron.

  • Lucas Foxx

    NPR: FBI staff learned about it from the media.

    • JurisGal

      How did they know if wasn’t fake news?!

      • Lucas Foxx

        Not sure how they could tell. Fox probably had the scoop.

        • Suttree

          Has anyone watched Faux yet? I already looked at blightfart! I can’t handle it.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I looked at the website. They are saying that FBI agents are glad Comey’s gone. And they are reporting that the Army’s 82nd Airborne is on their way to Afghanistan now.

    • snark-lurker

      who leaked it? hrc email?

      • Lucas Foxx

        The Leaker-in-Chief?

        • Suttree

          John Baron John Miller?

          • FlownΩver

            John Bigboote?

  • Me The People

    I don’t think Trump will hang around to be impeached, when it comes to it – he’ll run away and resign while bitching about America not being classy enough for him to be president of.

  • not_vh

    crap. npr reminds that only 51 votes needed in senate for next confirmation.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yep. Ryan changed the rules for SCOTUS nom.

      • msanthropesmr

        Other fucker. I think you mean Turtle.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          My bad.

          • msanthropesmr

            No bad – its just really really hard to keep the scumbags straight.

  • Reximus
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Guess he has to buy his own plane ticket home?

  • tehbaddr

    Less engrossing and far more despicable than season 2 of Fargo!

    • Me The People

      I stopped watching at episode 3 of the first season. It felt like watching something from the makers of Boondock Saints. Sounds like it got even worse later.

      • tehbaddr

        Season 1 with Thorton was a masterpiece! You shoulda stuck with it, though the end was not so satisfying. Malvo was an amazing character!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Appoint a Special Prostituter? Gotta check my ears out.

    • snark-lurker

      is that like a pimperator?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suse

      Does he really believe we want to see that?

    • Shanzgood

      Bollix

    • not_vh

      ok please. dinner time.

    • snark-lurker

      damm you i just ate

  • Suse

    Comey was in LA when he got fired.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      They hand delivered the letter to Comey’s office, not realizing that he wasn’t there. You can’t make this shit up.

      • Shanzgood

        WHO’S ON FIRST?

        • Suttree

          Trump!!111!!!!
          -Turnip

          • Shanzgood

            Fuuuck

          • HogeyeGrex

            Nah. He was born on third base. That’s why he thinks he hit a triple.

      • Doug Langley

        So Comey got on the plane and everyone said “So sorry” and he says “About what?”

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Saw it scroll on the TV while he was on the phone. KLASSY.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          “You might wanna take your phone out of airplane mode, dude.”

        • WomanInThePersistence

          And they said, ” Hey, you might want to check the new job openings on the FBI website.”

      • HogeyeGrex

        **facepalm.jpg**

    • georgiaburning

      He should give Jerry Brown a call

  • Jenny

    Part of me is like rheeeeee fuck the police bitches! The other part is like oh shit apocalypse!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      There are worse things than Apocalypse. I will not be a slave again, I will not bow to abusers again.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    One good thing about being on the road: I’m too busy to follow the news, I have to concentrate on my work, and I don’t get much internet access.

    These days it feels a bit like swimming in shark-infested waters: I know there’s something vicious, lethal and menacing close-by, it could strike at any moment, and all I can do is focus on the horizon and keep paddling toward shore…

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    This just reported on MSNBC – Comey was in LA for an FBI recruiting event when he heard that he had been fired!
    Also too, will Comey still testify on Thursday?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Senator Warner says he will.

      • Suttree

        If not he needs to be subpoenaed.

  • bluicebank

    Unfortunately, acting FBI director Andrew McCabe will be replaced by whatever stooge Atty. Gen. Sessions names until a permanent one is confirmed by the Senate. Don’t know much about McCabe, other than he was appointed by Comey and focused on organized crime at the NY bureau. But no matter. The fix is in.

    • Lucas Foxx

      That’s not comforting. Trump, Giuliani, et all, probably ARE organized crime for the NY bureau.

    • The great achoo

      he is the stooge. who do you think giuliani source is?

    • bluicebank

      McCabe started at the NY office in 1996. L.A. Times article says:

      “Assigned to the New York City office as a young agent, he helped build
      complex cases against Russian mobsters and helped take out a dangerous
      gang of Russian-speaking gangsters in one of his first big assignments.”

      So not sure if he’s going to be Trump’s man. My money says Sessions appoints a toady, and McCabe is shoved off to Montana or wherever.

      • Ducksworthy

        Uh Oh. His acting Directorship might be short.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Because I like you all, and don’t think you should go there, here’s some bilious froth from the Breitbart folks =>

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b111710a9c96fbd34eee9e599a34d04884041a33e098882008a243d897f78da5.png

    • Suttree

      I went there before. James Comey is now a Democrat.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Let me know when he becomes “in the tank for Hillary”.

        • Suttree

          That was also a comment. Seriously. I don’t interact over there because I have an open profile and also don’t feel like talking to stupid people. But it was a “WTF are you talking about you A Idiot!”

      • WomanInThePersistence

        So today is Opposite Day?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s halcyon days on Bizarro World, I just know it….things are really making sense there, and whirled peas is at hand…

    • Ezio

      So these people accuse liberals of being the real fascists but now they say it’s a good thing to have a totalitarian state?

      Is a little consistency too much to ask for?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        For these fuckeits, yes.

    • georgiaburning

      “semi-totalitarian state” ? Kind of like half-pregnant

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I think they mean totalitarian for “those people” and freedom for us.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Leopard eating people’s faces party again?

        • Jenny

          Yup this.

        • Ducksworthy

          Ah. I get it. You’re right of course.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Semi = half. Meaning, Republicans can be totalitarian, just not Democrats. See?

    • Me The People

      “Semi-totalitarian state” – what does that mean? A kinda-dictatorship? I guess this is what happens when they try to do political thinking.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        And was that supposed to be English?

        • georgiaburning

          no, Murikun

      • Ducksworthy

        Partial pregnancy?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You have an interesting definition of “like”.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Shorter: “I am an actual fascist that wanted to see the Constitution in flames, but these fuckwits are too stupid even for me.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • boyblue122

      Hes fully consolidated power now. There really arent any non partisan parts of the government left

  • not_vh

    one thing for sure, npr drilling down the trump fired the guy who was investigating him, repeatedly and in various ways.

  • calliecallie

    This brings back fond memories of the Saturday Night Massacre. I was 15, had just got home by my 11 p.m. curfew. As usual trying not to interact too much with my Mom, lest she ask what I’d been up to or smell alcohol on my breath. My Dad was still up, which was very unusual, as he got up early for work and typically went to be early as well. They were hyper and outraged at what “Nixon, that bastard” had done. I stayed up to watch the late news with them to see what the fuss was about. It was a bonding moment.

    I didn’t really understand, but I do now. My son comes home from college tomorrow. I will be so happy to share these events with him.

    • Doug Langley

      And ignore the alcohol on his breath.

      • calliecallie

        I think it’s probably weed, but bqhatever.

    • HogeyeGrex

      See? Republicans really do bring families together over the generations.

    • calliecallie

      More on this. Talked to my brother tonight,,,long story short he had not heard anything about the current events, but his immediate response…he was younger and at home with the ‘rents while I was out. My Dad was so upset that he suggested that my brother and he walk around the block. My Dad talked with him about his fears about the end of American democracy. My brother must have been, like, twelve.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • violet moon

      Sick of him, too.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Bernie won’t win in a do over either.

  • memzilla Ω
    • not_vh

      of course, he wants to show off his accomplishment. look ma no hands.

      • C4TWOMAN

        look ma tiny hands.

        FTFY

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          and no brains

    • WomanInThePersistence

      For the first time, I’m sure.

    • C4TWOMAN

      You . Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

      Okay, first rule of crime–Never return to scene of crime. Or in this case, meet with the people you’re being investigated for meeting with?

      Ah hell, maybe Trump will outsmart himself and his narcissism–I can’t be caught–will do him in….

    • jesterpunk

      That is shady as fuck.

      • C4TWOMAN

        But so obviously dodgy it’s like he never watched a crime film.

        I’d like to think it was reckless panic… Hard to tell with Bannon pulling the strings.

        • jesterpunk

          Even crooks in bad crime movies are smarter then this.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Hell, even on Gotham, where the plotting is VERY YMMV.

    • aureolaborealis

      Emergency meeting for further instructions.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I was going to make a snarky comment about phones and email, but they probably know they’re being monitored.

        Also too Trump can’t operate email.

    • wait! what?

      Donald,
      Please to bring VHS machine. Have tape you need to review.
      AGAIN.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      RT says foreign minister is meeting with Putin’s cock holster.

    • Doug Langley

      Pure genius. It will get everyone’s minds off his Russia investigation.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Getting their story straight.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Shanzgood

      Yes we do!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Nay, we need a march for a new election.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        why not both?

    • snark-lurker

      donut know how to make a torch with a pitch fork so bought a flashlight

      • Khavrinen

        Just pretend you’re British.

        • snark-lurker

          i get that!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      What we need and what we want are different things… and this, we need.

    • HogeyeGrex

      MARCH

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Steve, they’re saying I can’t nominate myself for FBI Director! UNFAIR!”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • JurisGal

    I know this is not funny but it made me laugh: the reporter on “All In with Chris Hayes” just said the concern is how Comey will get home because he is in L.A. with the FBI plane and is no longer FBI.

    • Suse

      Saw that. He’ll have to fly steerage like the rest of us.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        United?

        • Suse

          They’re all bad.

        • wait! what?

          No, he was just fired.

        • Divided.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Hello Meester Comey, I yam your pear-sonal pi-lott, this way to special plane, yes? Please to follow me.”

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      You know they did it on purpose. Assholes.

  • Jesse

    Guess its time for the lawfirm of Bharara, Yates and Comey to start looking into Russia/trump ties.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Run Pussy Grabber, but you can’t hide.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_arhQVVYAAOwPP.jpg

    • Doug Langley

      Get Smart once had a chase scene with everyone in golf carts. Later after 99 catches the crooks:

      Max: “Great work, 99! How did you catch them?”
      99: “I waited until they were just behind me, then I hit the brakes hard.”
      Max: “Where did you learn such driving maneuvers?”
      99: “I always drive that way, Max.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • wait! what?

    The smoking gun is Donald’s signature that resembles this Russian doctor’s handwriting…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c5204dd5f241e17b512d6f7b91053b4e724b201c2a1f842d5db554d5fcdf6f9.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • snark-lurker

      and gorsucks has to go!

      • Meccalopolis

        Yea! Been saying this. We get the house and senate back impeaching that Fuck is job one

      • Christopher Story

        The first SCOTUS justice to be appointed by a hostile foreign nation.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Rightful” ≠ “Legal”

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I don’t know anything about the last eight months involving Republicans that’s been legal.

    • Christopher Story

      This!!! All of this! OMG I’m too cynical to hope for it, but the irony of the entire system kicking Trump’s ass and handing the presidency to Hillary would be too delicious.

  • Sheepshagger

    Nixon Library on twitter trolls president trump. https://twitter.com/nixonlibrary/status/862083605081862145

    Sentences I couldn’t imagine 12 months ago for three hundred please Alex.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Dead Nixon: “Do you miss me yet?”

      • Sheepshagger

        Cambodia: “I wish you’d missed us”.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “You want to bomb those peasants over there.”

          • Sheepshagger

            Kissenger: “Eh, you’ll do”.

      • jesterpunk

        Yes, he did form the EPA.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Dead Nixon is the name of my lounge afro-puck band.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The Dead Nixons: Wiretapping Uber Alles

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Posted to this effect below, but he wasn’t the only president who was shitscared of Hoover.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Retweeted.

  • Suse

    Liz Warren in the house!

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      Giggling about how stupid Trump is/thinks we are. Hee!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Thought she was in the Senate.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • OrG

    Even after all of the shit these creeps have pulled, this seems surreal. This is a coup d’etat. Even more surreal is a good chunk of the populace will be okay with it.

    • georgiaburning

      They usually are, for a while.

      • yyyaz

        And some will demand it.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      “Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it.”

      – Judge Learned Hand

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Typical of Trump’s gangster instincts. Comey throws the election to Trump, now he’s got to bum spare change to hitchhike home. We’re doomed.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • HogeyeGrex

      I am shocked to learn that they give that little of a shit about the optics of doing it.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Holy fuck! I’ve been ensconced behind closed doors on jury duty all day. On release I come to find out we really are now living in a fascist state.

  • Notreelyhelping

    There’s still three grand juries quietly deliberating: this ain’t hardly over.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’d like to lay hope on the courts, but at this point…

    • HogeyeGrex

      I don’t think there’s anything stopping the new guy from disempaneling them.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I hope you’re right

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    The media really needs to step up to the plate now. I know, I laughed too. Off to curl up into a fetal position.

  • memzilla Ω

    @Ali_Davis: “I looked phenomenally not guilty today. What are some other things
    innocent guys do? I’ll tiptoe around with a big money sack.” – Trumpmind

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wrap up of the week so far….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsk6MsNcURo

  • Rick Hill

    “The president has accepted the recommendation of the Attorney General and the deputy Attorney General regarding the dismissal of the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation,”

    He doesn’t even take responsitbility for doing this. If it turns out badly, it wasn’t his idea, he just has the best people give him bad advice.

    • Meccalopolis

      Sucka please it’s his idea

    • Bebecca

      My favorite part of the letter is usual self-serving Trump-while I appreciate you confirming three times I’m not under investigation…

  • Shoto

    Reporters around the world need to bore in on Drumpf’s multifarious business ties. Plenty of that stuff is already accessible. Yeah, it’s gonna require some digging, but it’s not impossible to get at it, and the FuckTard Justice Department doesn’t even need to be involved in the process. In short, follow the money. After that, follow the money. And so on, and so forth. Money always tells a pretty good tale.

    Also, too: Call your congresspeeps and senators and DEMAND a special prosecutor. Don’t take no for an answer. After that has been accomplished, do it again. And again. And so on, and so forth.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Even with my tinfoil hat on, I think Trump wants a new FBI director so he can “reopen” the Hillary email investigation, then lock her up. It’s a douche (therefore, a Trump) move.

    • Roadstergal

      It’s win/win. His base loves “lock her up,” and how can they investigate Russia if they’re investigating Hill?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Campaign promise. He says he’s going to fulfill them all.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Oh fer fucks sake, the worms are coming out of the woodwork
    https://twitter.com/TEN_GOP/status/862065840111443968

    • Sheepshagger

      Go fascist where they want you fuckface. Like maybe hell.

    • Shoto

      Jeffrey Toobin has already suggested that this fucking moron psychopath might actually be on the list. Jeezuz…

    • Bill D. Burger

      You might be on the front lawn of the White House holding a lantern….that’s about it.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        SNAP!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        oh ouch

    • TJ Barke

      For what, you criminal thug?

    • not_vh

      i bet this guy has something to hide.

      • Wild Cat

        That dick in his All-American mouth?

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          He likes to call them patriotic peckers.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      These people just relish in how evil they are.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      And then she’d haul you and the AG into the nearest court for false arrest and malicious prosecution.

      • yyyaz

        By the time they get there the judge will be Drump appointee.

    • jesterpunk
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Yup, there’s no need for Senate confirmation or anything.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The Brownshirts are mustering.

    • h4rr4r

      He does know he is black, right?

      • Doug Langley

        Isn’t it just adorbs how he thinks the administration would be completely behind him?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Jeff Beauregard Sessions III might not be a fan of this guy, for some reason.

    • Wild Cat

      Self-genocidal motherfucker.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Just try it motherfucker. You thought the Jan 21 Women’s March was big? It’s still cold enough for the pussy hats.

      • BehaveYrself

        But warm enough for actual pussies. Bare ladies marching in the mall? That’s how you resist a misogynist.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Keep wetdreaming, dude.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I think Trump fired Comey to put someone in who will lock Hillary up.

    • wait! what?

      It would be funny to watch her security detail tase him into “bladder submission.”

  • JurisGal

    Senator Warren seems tame tonight, that is good and troubling. These are concerning times.

  • Brad H

    “Comey was not fired because of Hillary, Comey was fired because of Russia.” – Elizabeth Warren

    Quote of the week right there.

  • TJ Barke

    Do we start setting things on fire yet?

    • not_vh

      lol. hold it TJ.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      With molotov votes.

    • Jenny

      MY BODY IS READY ! FIREEEEEEEEEES!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Pull my finger….

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Picabo

      Leave the gun. Take the canolli.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Why don’t we just start calling them “Vichy Republicans.”

    Vive la Resistance!

    • wait! what?

      The Idaho Republicans will dig it.

      • Lori

        I see what you did there :)

    • C4TWOMAN

      Good idea.

  • Picabo

    Montana special election is May 25. Ga sixth district is June 20. GOTV! Vote your Ossof! Keep your eyes on the prize.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I just sent them both more money. Quist has quadruple matching today from some rich donors. So send him $10 and he gets $40.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ohhhhh! Blew coffee out muh’ nose.

    https://twitter.com/ira/status/862064558898151425

    • BehaveYrself

      OT, but that dress is shiteous. The colors, pattern, and quality are for shit. Let all the MAGA ladies pay too much for it and put it on their saggy old white bodies, and think their leader will love them more for doing so.

  • JerryRich

    Believe it or not, MSNBC is reporting that the Trumpian White House is “surprised” by the strong negative reaction from Dems and Repubs. “Clueless” does not even begin to describe this bunch.

    • dshwa

      I’d buy that they’re surprised by the Republican reaction. But it’s getting harder for them not to not look complicit with each of the more and more outrageous actions.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Dana Bash at CNN reported the same.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      They’re lying.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • wait! what?

      And hopefully, after the treason games end. Rico will know what to do.

  • Anna Rompage

    What do you think, who’s gonna be the next head of the FBI?
    (A) Rodger Stone
    (B) Alex Jones
    (C) Sheriff Dave Clark

    • Jenny

      Sheriff Joe

      • Anna Rompage

        Didn’t he get indicted? Oh well, just the same…

        Hey, maybe trump will appoint Michael Brown, the guy who fucked up the FEMA response to Katrina…

        • FlownΩver

          Arpaio’s courteous. He’ll remember to say “Pardon me.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Judge Judy.
        Wapner?

    • wait! what?

      Give us 2 more options and we can have the Dave Clark Five run it.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Alexander Bortnikov, head of Russian FSB (successor to KGB)

    • Bebecca

      Rudy Giuluani

    • bluicebank

      A cock holster?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Jared!

  • memzilla Ω

    My Saturday Night Massacre Story: Working at a teevee station in Iowa, writing and producing commercials. Made a bumper sticker I put in my car’s rear window: IMPEACH THE COX SHUCKER. Management politely asked me to take it the fuck down.

    • yyyaz

      Ours out here called him the “Cox Sacker.”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Suse

    My congresscritter, Eric Swallwell, will be on Hayes’s show tonight. He’s a rock star.

  • wait! what?

    I remember when Nixon resigned. It totally interrupted “Kolchak the Night Stalker.” I didn’t understand what was going on but hated him nonetheless for the interruption.

    • Jamoche

      Watergate interrupted my after-school Star Trek reruns. I was pissed.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        It was the summer after I graduated high school. I spent hours watching the hearings. Beat the hell out of soap operas.

        • Jamoche

          I was 8 and just beginning to realize I would be an engineer someday, and thought I’d already picked up all I’d ever need to know about politics from Schoolhouse Rock. Sigh. That worked until last November.

    • Doug Langley

      But it was scarier.

      • wait! what?

        And the monster got away and wrote a crappy book about it.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I was pissed at the Watergate hearings for pre-empting not only Captain Kangaroo, but Saturday morning cartoons!

    • bluicebank

      Watergate inspired a lot of youngs to get into journalism and kick ass, including me. I wonder where they are now?

  • Ezio
    • wait! what?

      Yeah, because James was such A GREAT condom.

    • TJ Barke

      These people are so deluded.

      • Rick Hill

        Well, they’ve been completely wrong for so many years. They have to be right some time. It’s just the odds…unless those don’t apply to extreme stupidity and completely deluded fools.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I mean, it’s kind of fitting that the guy Comey helped to steal the WH because grrr Clinton, now fires him. Comey did this to himself. Get in bed with snakes, get bitten. Thanks, Comey. You are partly responsible for the emergency situation America is in.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Rob/Carl 2020!

  • Sheepshagger
  • Shoto
  • Mary Sandoras
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suse

      May you burn in hell, Dick.

    • Bec Jenn

      Who knew that we would look back on him and Bush jr. and kind of say, they would be better than what we have. Hell, under Nixon we got things like the EPA and other “socialist, leftie, tree-hugging” things that the GOP seems to abhor.

      • Jamoche

        IK,R? Look at that newspaper. When was the last time LA smog made the front page?

    • C4TWOMAN

      And the bar continues to sink lower….

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    We’re close….we’re fucking close. It won’t be long before he starts arresting and imprisoning reporters without charges.

    • Doug Langley

      And they still won’t regret smearing Hillary about emails.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Think of the access they’ll have from his special press prison!

    • Suttree

      Start with every reporter that said he was pivoting.
      ETA: That was shitty snark.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Pivoting towards Pol Pot.

      • Jamoche

        Or called him “presidential” for that fucking joint sessions performance, or for bombing shit.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Or when he bombs shit.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Looking at you, Van Jones.

    • Bring it.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    I have no tactics. I make existence and the Void my tactics.
    I have no castle. The immutable spirit is my castle.
    I have no sword. From the state which is above and beyond, from thought, I make my sword.
    I have no strategy. Freedom to kill, and freedom to give back life – there is my strategy.
    I have no purpose. Opportunity is my purpose.
    I have no miracle. Just Law is my miracle.

    ~From The Voice of the Whirlwind, a novel by Walter Jon Williams.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Employees fired by Trump:
    Sally Yates
    Preet Bharara
    James Comey

    Employees investigating Trump:
    Sally Yates
    Preet Bharara
    James Comey

    • Jukesgrrl

      Nothing to see here. Move along.

    • Khavrinen

      The Trump Administration’s new slogan:
      “It’s Just A Coincidence.”
      Almost as good as “Make America Great Again.”

      Which reminds me: This is your idea of great?!?!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    And here’s a song request that goes out to “Jim” from DC!

    https://youtu.be/OTHRg_iSWzM

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to do.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I don’t think this was “calculated” – I don’t think these boobs could figure out 2+2=4.
    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/862085071045623808

    • snark-lurker

      2+2 = 22

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, that’s how one bankrupts a casino.

    • Shoto

      “2+2 = Um…Wait: Arithmetic is Hard. I’ll just “You’re Fired” the FBI Director instead.”

      — Preznit Unhinged Orange Monster Baby.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • thank-you-thing
  • snark-lurker

    now i recognize trump’s signature: when a polygraph hits on a lie

  • SadDemInTex

    #RESIST

  • Bill D. Burger
  • calliecallie

    Michael Isakoff on MSNBC just now…he has great hair and is smart af. I have a new crush.

  • Shoto
  • Bill D. Burger
  • not_vh
  • Ezio
    • Jamoche

      WTF? I checked the @jamescomey twitter account and it’s been suspended.

      • Ezio

        I wonder what’s up because someone said they saw the original tweet before he supposedly deleted it. That’s why I need to know is if it’s real.

    • TJ Barke

      I doubt it.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      People on Twitter are saying Comey doesn’t even have an account.

      • Jamoche

        That would explain the account showing in the image being suspended.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Didn’t he have an account under an alias that someone found not too long ago?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          I wouldn’t know, but it sounds possible.

        • Amy!

          Yes, though it was pretty much a nothingburger. Mostly of interest because the journalist used public statements to locate it; once located it was pretty boring stuff.

        • Yeah, he took the name of his favorite author. It was pretty innocuous stuff, tho – “Ooooo, did you see the Red Wedding”, “These Martha Stewart towels are so fluffy”, sort of thing.

        • FlownΩver

          Reinhold Niebuhr.

      • Ezio

        I’m skeptical, but I saw more than a couple of guys claiming he posted this and then deleted it. That’s why I was curious.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        He does, Gizmodo did a piece on how they likely found him.

        This is definitely not it.

        http://gizmodo.com/this-is-almost-certainly-james-comey-s-twitter-account-1793843641

    • Michael R
    • damn want it….

      but no.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • WomanInThePersistence

      ^^^THIS^^^

    • Shoto

      Exactly. How in the actual fuck does that shit work?

  • A_Changeling

    I think there should be an international investigation too. Isn’t that what the international community might do in a case where country’s own institutions can’t be trusted? A lot of countries are endangered by this.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    If this doesn’t end with Trump and his crime family in prison, we’re gonna have to take this to the streets.

    • Bozilingus

      Pass the ammunition votes, please.

      • TJ Barke

        Should go buy that m1a now…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Before Obama confiscates them. Oh…wait…

        • Bozilingus

          Did Obama leave us a supply of drones?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Maybe now would be a better time?…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        You may be right.

  • memzilla Ω
    • cheetojeebus

      Tomorrow is Wednesday

      • memzilla Ω

        Slash is used as shorthand for “or.”

        • cheetojeebus

          I’ve only seen Thursday as the date. The committee’s website is super slow right now, maybe verging on a crash, so tomorrow might be a closed door meeting? he’s listed for an open meeting thursday

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Khavrinen

      The night is young….

  • Michael R

    .. and what does Elijah Cummings have to say ?

    https://s23.postimg.org/r5oe7ueln/cummings.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Fartknocker

    In other news, the Florida Seminole tribe purchased the former Taj Mahal casino from Carl Icohn at 4 cents on the dollar. Whatever Dampnut touches truly turns to shit.
    http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-trump-taj-mahal-20170509-story.html

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      He has been doing his best to turn US America to shit.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DrBigHead

    All I can say, and it has probably already been said by someone….Holy Freakin’ Shit!

  • memzilla Ω
  • Apple Scruff

    So does anyone else think Trump is going to cancel his Euro trip?

    • Shoto

      Only if he thinks he won’t be able to do any serious grifting on the trip.

    • wait! what?

      He thinks the “ur” is pronounced as a “g,” so probably not. Although, watching Donald get arrested in Germany would be hysterical.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      Nope. He will be making a surprise and permanent visit to Moscow.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • wait! what?

      Sessions gets a mini-me?

    • artem1s

      Gollum?

  • JurisGal

    Man, this miniseries really needs to end now. It’s been intriguing but enough already. Get some new writers. Some new characters. Like Dr. Who, let’s pick up with a new lead.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Unlike Dr. Who, maybe a lady character?

      • Bec Jenn

        There is some speculation that the next incarnation might, just might be a woman. BTW, the reality show you all are talking about is really horrid, I haven’t really watched any news or TV for fear of the helpless depression that sets in.

        • wait! what?

          Kris Martial has already been tapped, allegedly.

        • JurisGal

          I was there, too but can’t let the bastards get ya down. Wonkette helps and if they allowed comments, it would help so much more.
          ETA: ” I wanna cry but I gotta laugh”

    • C4TWOMAN

      I think it should be cancelled. It’s too expensive to make and the ratings are shit.

    • Khavrinen

      Yes, but we really don’t want tRump to regenerate.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    It was Trump’s personal bodyguard who was sent to send the dismissal letter? To the wrong place? JFC.

    • JurisGal

      Either I am delirious or this is hilarious. Both?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Why not both?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        It is utterly bizarre. I would not dream of speculating on your mental state. :)

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m imagining a SNL skit with Comey going about his business, not knowing he’s fired until he shows up for the Thursday hearings or whenever…

      • notaten

        Maybe he’ll do a George Costanza and just keep showing up? Sit in his office and eat cheese and crackers all day, no one will notice.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Managing this country the way he did his casinos.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        May he have the same level of success.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          He already has.

        • OrG

          Ummmm….didn’t he walk away from a shambles with his pockets full?

  • Apple Scruff

    Oh FFS. We don’t care about the James Comey motorcade.

    Is that a white Bronco?

  • Ezio
  • JurisGal

    Fired while at an FBI recruitment event? Man, this is darkly funny.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      MSNBC is showing Comey’s motorcade on the highway in LA right now. I wonder if they’ll break into a run, a la OJ.

      • wait! what?

        An anti-Bronco event occurs. James’ car pulls over, on the freeway, and the driver gets out and walks away.

    • Doug Langley

      “We have many openings at the FBI! More than you might guess.”

    • bluicebank

      “You, too, can rise to the … hang on a sec. WFT?”

    • georgiaburning

      Yeah, that one probably won’t get many properly spelled resumes

    • Suttree

      It sounds like a John Birch Society conspiracy.

  • Sheepshagger

    Tut! I have done a thousand dreadful things/as willingly as one would kill a fly/and nothing grieves me heartily indeed/than I may not do ten thousand more.

  • Chadwells

    EVERYBODY CALM DOWN….FUCKFACE IS SENDING A CERTIFIED LETTER THAT SAYS HE HAS NO CONNECTION TO RUSSIA!!!

    Problem solved.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12cfefb934823beb50a4534e9bdcb3127fd448f7ecd4f71a5d9b38fbb0069727.gif

    • wait! what?

      Is that a Russian stamp on the envelope!?

    • Ezio

      > Has lawyer send certified lawyer saying he’s got no ties to Russia
      > Fires FBI director

      Nothing suspicious here, nope.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Can we send certified letters in response to traffic tickets?

      • Chadwells

        That was my question too!!! My lawyer is ready to write all kinds of certified letters!!!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I have just sent a certified letter to the lottery informing them that I am the next winner.

    • Doug Langley

      And to think we laughed at Tricky Dick at going on television and saying he wasn’t a crook.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Just in time for Trump’s meeting with Russia’s Foreign Minister tomorrow.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And the 82nd Airborne is on their way to Afghanistan, right now.

      • Picabo

        Citation please. This is not good. I live in Savannah and Hunter AAF has been quiet. Rangers are stationed here. Help me out please.

        • C4TWOMAN

          It’s odd. A search for

          82nd Airborne Afghanistan
          only brings up FOX as a source for today.
          It’s unlikely they’d make up a completed fake story. I kinda expected something like the Airborne had stepped up training and FOX was speculating wildly…

      • C4TWOMAN

        Problem is I’m not see any other media in search results. Not even the AP, so that’s weird.

    • DainBramage

      Gotta get new orders from the Kremlin.

  • Jenny

    Me turning on the news.

    Daughter: mom is turning on the news? Did bad stuff happen

    Son: who punched who? Who is doing the punching???

    Me: no one was punched per say..

    Son: then why watch the news??

    Yes America, that is the only time there is news. When someone gets punched.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Someone got punched….

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        America. Right in the tenders.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    On the Fox News website, the 82nd Airborne is on their way to Afghanistan, right now.

  • La forza del resistino

    MSNBC is running the LA freeway footage of Comey getting out of town. Shades of OJ.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I just said the same thing!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Me2.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I thought he had to hop a boxcar with a can of hobo beans for dinner?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      But he’s stuck in traffic.

      • Doug Langley

        Always wondered when Hollywood would do a chase scene during rush hour.

  • miss_grundy

    It appears that Comey was in Los Angeles speaking to a group of agents, when the news of his termination was flashing on the television screens in the room. Welp!

    • C4TWOMAN

      I should feel sorry for him. But damn that’s cold. And funny.

      • subatomic

        There is no reason to feel sorry for this loser. Comey sabotaged the election either intentionally or through incompetence and his testimony regarding Huma Abedin’s email just shows that he was a hack. History will not look kindly on him.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          But his replacement will not be anything to your liking, either…

          • subatomic

            Oh, I have no misconceptions on that account. Based on tRump’s cabinet appointments I expect someone who’s sole goal is to burn it all to the ground.

    • Doug Langley

      Wonder if he was reading his speech off a teleprompter:

      “And so in conclusion, I must say, that after much soul searching, I have decided to – WTF???????”

  • Picabo

    Have you ever read a police blotter in a local newspaper? This whole shit show reminds me of that. Armatures all.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Aaaaaaand Miss Lindsey is all good with this.

    • Sister Suffragette

      Susan Collins too, it sounds like.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Of course he is. He’s been in a love swoon since Trump starting bombing brown people.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Saw this on Facebook today. The why not both meme was made for this bumper sticker. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd2850efd4df3c8a2860ccd38ecf8e06dc873962f89446d9ffdefd55fe71f355.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Why not both?

    • not_vh

      wonder how that’s worked out for him.

    • Michael R

      Maybe you really can have it all .

    • TJ Barke

      Well you’re getting a twofer!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Any over/under bets on the IQ of this genius?

      • TJ Barke

        61!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Seems high.

          • Michael R

            45 ?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Beat me to it!

          • TJ Barke

            Well they are allowed to drive.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Are you dyslexic? Because that seems pretty high ;-)

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          45!….

      • ariel_gee_398

        Compares disfavorably with shoe size.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          And I wear a 13 1/2.

      • Doug Langley

        Room temperature is a safe bet.

    • OrG

      Why not both?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Obviously bumpersticker is referring to Ted Cruz.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Please, please, please, FSM, I’ve been good. Mostly.

    • Doug Langley

      No biggie. Just fire Treasury.

    • Jamoche

      “FinCEN is one of the lead agencies that fights money laundering.”

      I can’t even think of a gif meme to cover this.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Steve Mnuchin sez: “why would you want that, there’s no purpose for that kind of inquiry here…”

  • janecita

    Kellyanne Conway is on TV, she looks so fucking old!

    • Shoto

      Tap-dancing as fast as she can, presumably?

      • janecita

        Exactly!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I so want to have some interviewer just repeatedly interrupt her with “this is just bullshit! This is just bullshit! Get off my show and never show your face around here again, you lying sack of bullshit!” ….some fantasies never disappear….

      • Doug Langley

        Ginger Rogers, eat your heart out.

    • Chadwells
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Same age as Kirsten Gillibrand. See what being evil does to the body?

    • Chadwells

      Since she sued over that Beavis photo…I look for every conceivable reason to post it.

    • Shoto

      She’s a congenital, sociopathic liar. Just the right person for the teevee spokesidiot for the Drumpf WH.

    • JurisGal

      Inner ugly seeping out. Some people get the face they deserve, not sexist in any way, she is one of them and so is trump . Some people are so ugly inside it takes over the outside.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I don’t think I showed you guys the engagement ring I picked out for Future Mr. Cats. It’s going to be this design http://www.moonkistdesigns.com/images/products/D-4206copy.jpg on this ring http://www.moonkistdesigns.com/images/products/il_fullxfull.694710247_16e7.jpg?mw=280&mh=280

    • jesterpunk

      That is a pretty cool ring.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      Very nice!

    • Suttree

      Nice! I love that it is hand wrought. Trust me, I have been doing metalwork for over 20 years. It’s gorgeous.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        It’s really affordable, even with a moissanite stone. Somehow we’ve come back to a place where stuff made by hand can be cheaper.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Dude, you too? We’ll have to trade notes some time (when it’s not 3am my time and I should be sleeping).

    • La forza del resistino

      I have the water wave ring too. To some degree, it led to 35 years of marital happiness. Good choice!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Very cool and classy.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        He really loves flowers. The problem with the rings was he’s very particular about patterns. Like, pickier than me. I didn’t think that was possible.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Lovely! :D

  • Johnnymoreno

    Trump’s beginning looks a lot like Nixon’s end.

    • Pre-Existing CatCafe

      Please let it be so….

  • Nounverb911

    “I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
    Donald J. Trump”

    Testifying against you?

    • JurisGal

      That comment is a winner! So much winning, winningly winning.

  • Shanzgood

    Hard-headed bitchez FTW!

    I have been on the phone over and over for ages to the Allegheny County jail thingy tonight pressing all the buttons and getting full voicemails and re-routed back to where I’d already been trying to find out baconzgood’s discharge status.

    Of course, I eventually went deep enough into the automated thingies to get to the “press 4 for discharge status” and FINALLY got to talk to a real human. Of course, he sent me straight back to the main phone number button-pushing purgatory.

    After another half hour of that I went back through the rotation to the discharge guy again and liost my shit on him. In a nice way. Even though I asked “how come you are the discharge guy but you can’t tell me who’s been discharged?!” I guess I did it right because we ended up having a long conversation. I vented a bunch, and he told me the most useful thing I’ve heard:

    They have 48 (not 72) hours to let baconz go from the time the judge signed the order. I made him get very specific and clarify that it doesn’t mater when anyone receives (or claims to have received) the order, it’s from the time it was signed. So since I know it was signed today, they have 48 hours from midnight tonight to let him go. That’s Thursday midnight so that probably translates to Friday morning sometime. Saturday morning if I misunderstood the timeline.

    I left a message with Goodwill to have baconz call me ASAP but gods only know if it when they’ll tell him so I’ll call his mom. She needs to know.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Keep pressing!

    • Jennifer R

      You are real good people Shan.

      • not_vh

        really good.

    • janecita

      Finally, some good news!

      • Shanzgood

        I had a little bit of my faith in humanity restored tonight

        Shit, I need to find out who that guy was!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          No clerks ever get thank you notes…this could be history in the making right here!

          • Shanzgood

            I know! I’ve been that clerk type and just done what I thought was my job. More than once had flowers sent and it blew my mind.

            What should I send a guy?

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Booze. Or smoked meat. Or both.

          • Shanzgood

            Lol! Ok. I just tried to call back but it went to voicemail and it was full. Poop.

          • Naytch

            Coffee gift card or a pound of coffee!

    • not_vh

      way to go shan.

    • keep persevering you strong fighting lady!

      • Shanzgood

        I’m not real good with this unless I have something to fight, apparently.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      And you persist! Atta girl, Shan!

      • Shanzgood

        That’s too sweet!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Shanzgood/Warren Right. Fucking. Now!

          • Shanzgood

            Lol no, I am definitely not diplomatic enough.

          • FlownΩver

            So, a step up from status quo.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            But I bet you have a wicked left hook, so six of one, half dozen of the other.

          • Shanzgood

            I dunno. I’ve never actually punched anybody. I threatened a guy in middle school who grabbed my ass at the water fountain, though. I think he was surprised enough to poop a bit. He didn’t bother me again.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      And yet, you persisted!

      • Shanzgood

        Lol, y’all are gonna make me cry!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Well Done, Shan :)

      • Shanzgood

        Gotta call baconzmom now.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          :)

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    How fitting that this is profiles in courage week! https://t.co/9abPU89WKW— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) May 10, 2017

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Run, Comey. Run!

    • Rick Hill

      “donald. I tell you. You don’t let your problems keep talking. You need more direct action. You do not have the connections, call me. Have my own people help you out. Follow my example, you will be great leader. Why I give this advice and you do not listen?”

      • Ducksworthy

        Will send Polonium if requested.

    • snark-lurker

      mebbee a decoy convoy

  • Rick Hill
  • Nounverb911

    SO looks like I missed a fun day here in Wonkettopia, so is firing Comey a distraction from Sally Yates testimony or reinvading Afghanistan?

    • TJ Barke

      Yes.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Yes. Also too, we will need a note from an adult to excuse your absence otherwise no dick jokes for you!

      • Nounverb911

        On the positive side, I only hit three trees playing golf today….

        • snark-lurker

          wut trees ever do to you?

          • Nounverb911

            They jumped in the middle of the fairway… I couldn’t help it.

        • Pre-Existing CatCafe

          We really need Bumper Golf, like Bumper Bowling.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I thought that in golf you hit your balls not the trees. I’m confused.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Shit, three trees?! That’s pretty good! I’m lucky if I can hit a single ball…but I’m really good at catching the bev cart. I play to my strengths.

    • you forgot arming the kurds and the kushner lady’s conflicts of interest.

      • Nounverb911

        Jared Kushner is a lady now? When did that happen?

      • Ducksworthy

        Arming the Kurds? Doesn’t that violated Flynn’s contract with Turkey?

        • Paperless Tiger

          A deal is a deal but a pipeline is money.

    • Fartknocker

      You just wait you liberal snowflakes. Tomorrow morning, while you’re fretting over the firing of this Comey dude, Mexico is go to be looking at a new wall and we’ll all be safer. Mexicans Are Great Assemblers (MAGA)!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Here I thought that was MMGA!……..

    • Doug Langley

      Check the previous thread. Hilarity ensued.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I wonder if this made Comey feel mildly nauseous.

  • Sister Suffragette

    Kellyanne sounds like she’s full of Ativan.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      She is such a mealymouthed, sarcastic bitch!

    • La forza del resistino

      that be the organic bovine product.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Enough. I’m taking the wee beastie for a walk. And I’ll be very disappointed if we’re not up to 2000 comments. And everybody, BREATHE!

    https://youtu.be/wh-07BzfgYY

  • bluicebank
  • jowgajen
    • Chadwells

      Fuuuuuuuuck….there goes my commute home.

    • jowgajen
      • Pre-Existing CatCafe

        That is HILARIOUS

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      So the media entertains by making it look like OJ in his Bronco being led around by a police car instead of being chased by it? That’s fucking bassackwards, if you ask me.

    • boyblue122

      OJ’s white bronco at the head of the pack

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        GMTA!

    • Nounverb911

      Is Katy Tur’s father Phoebe flying the helicopter again?

    • Nounverb911
    • jowgajen

      Note the class Comey has to shake the cops hands before getting on the plane he wasn’t sure the government would allow him to fly back home on.
      https://twitter.com/abc7elex/status/862107477755572225

    • Bozilingus

      Is Al Cowlings driving?

    • Apple Scruff

      Is Al Cowlings in the car with him

  • what wonkette wag said early today that comey is the one who should be most worried about being targeted by russia?

    you get all the prizes!

  • Michael R

    Even Kellyanne can’t handle all of this at one time

    https://s1.postimg.org/vnjnoulfj/kellyanne_elephant.jpg

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Haven’t heard a Kellyanne gaffe in a while. She’s not in rehab is she?

    • La forza del resistino

      o.k. So I stole your pic.

  • Nounverb911
  • KevinShinn

    Swallowed hard, tuned in Fox News and got Tucker Carlson with–lo and behold–eminence grise Brit Hume. Let the smear begin. Carlson just went so far as to call Comey “unstable.” Breathtaking, really.

    And now one of their “reporters” weighed in with the judgment “the people” are tired of this “false narrative” and want the “president” to be allowed to concentrate on “jobs.” Okay that’s enough time for a smoke before Dr Maddow does some sorting.

    • Nounverb911

      They got their talking points quickly this time.

      • KevinShinn

        Beforehand even, one might cynically suspect. If that’s the case though it sure reflects poorly on this FBI, what with them blindsided and all.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Eminence grease

      • snark-lurker

        santorum?

      • Pre-Existing CatCafe

        That is so good

        • alpacapunchbowl

          It’s fitting, for sure

    • notaten

      Well, he could concentrate on the 30,000 healthcare jobs that will be lost just in my state if trumdon’tcare passes. Hahahaha! Like “trump” and “concentrate” ever go together! I kill me!

  • janecita

    Anderson Cooper, is kicking Kellyanne Conway’s ass!

    • Nounverb911

      With or without votes?

      • janecita

        Unfortunately, just with words:-(

      • Jamoche

        “by a thousand papercuts” – someone else on CNN.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Let me know when he breaks a foot off in it.

    • Jamoche

      Any speculation on why they pulled her out for this when she’s been practically invisible for weeks?

    • La forza del resistino

      At this point in her career, I think she kinda likes the attention.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Jeffrey Toobin is losing his shit in the most glorious way, too.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I just got home, turned on the teevee and see that the Trump admin dragged dipshit out from under her rock and put her on CNN. Their mistake? Agreeing for her to go on with Cooper.

      I’d like to think they’ll think twice about putting her out there again but it’s not like they have a deep bench.

    • TJ Barke

      Oooh gurl!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Somebody found KaC?