This morning we learned, because our President Donald Trump was being a big shitty spitty spiteful baby man, for a change, and just could not stop his fat twitter fingers, that our Forever President, Barack Obama, had warned Trump when they met after the election that he should not hire Mike Flynn.
For an extremely abbreviated timeline,
Trump “won” the election.
He met with Obama, who said (paraphrase!), “don’t hire that crazy dick Mike Flynn.”
Mike Flynn continued to be an actual literal foreign agent but didn’t tell nobody but Elijah Cummings knew, and we knew, and everyone knew, but Trump acted like he didn’t know.
Mike Flynn called the Russian ambassador a whole bunch of times.
Acting Attorney General Sally Yates heard him, because we tap the phones of the Russian ambassador, DUH OBVS, talking to the Russian ambassador and reported spymaster, promising something about sanctions.
Vice President Mike Pence went on tv and said “nah, Flynn never talked to the Russian ambassador about sanctions.”
Sally Yates went to the White House and was like “HEADS UP, YUH HUH.”
Nobody fired Mike Flynn.
It somehow “got into the newspapers.”
They fired Sally Yates.
Since Yates is scheduled to testify today at 2:30 Eastern (and yes, we will be liveblogging), Donald Trump went on the twitter to say it was Barack Obama’s fault Flynn got security clearance in the first place! How come nobody is blaming Obama, HENGH? Hell, if they could blame him for George Bush’s response to Hurricane Katrina, surely they could blame him for Flynn, whom he had hired in the first place! (And whom he’d then fired, for being a crazy dick.) Not so fast, said Barack Obama (okay, three Obama officials) who then called NBC News to rat out Trump for being a stupid idiot who lies.
Now Trump’s people have confirmed the exchange, but — and you will like this — they say they thought he was joking.
A senior Trump administration official acknowledged Monday that Obama raised the issue of Flynn, saying the former president made clear he was “not a fan of Michael Flynn.” Another official said Obama’s remark seemed like it was made in jest.
Let’s bring that picture down from the top!
Uh huh. We have no jokes for you here, because Barack Obama broke comedy.
See you at 2:30!
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