SHARE

Here is a nice story of Nice Time! David Brooks, who believe it or not pens some of the less offensive twaddle for the New York Times, writes books about “character” and “morals,” and taught a … Harvard? Yale? (Yale) … class about humbleness, has married! He is clearly very much in love with his bride, Anne Snyder, a good God-fearing Christian woman who is apparently leading him to Christ by way of her magic vagina.

After (or while?) Brooks and his previous wife — who not only converted to Judaism for him but also “converted” her name from Jane to Sarah — split quietly in 2015, he penned an outsized mash note to his young research assistant, Snyder, with his penis.

In addition, he would like to thank his wife Sarah, who also exists. Just kidding! She got a brief mention in the last paragraph of the acknowledgements for The Road To Character (really), in which he thanked her for taking care of their kids.

Orthodox Jewish porn performer and blogger Luke Ford, which is one of my very favorite phrases to type, has compiled all sorts of background, including snippets from a whole bunch of Christians who are VERY EXCITED for their young compatriot, Snyder, and how she is super duper leading this one Jew to Jesus (with her vagina). We’ll steal just one or two and then send you over to Ford’s place for the rest.

What a great influence Anne was to David! Did she have a degree or career in ministry? No, but she had a Christian background and let her moral character and faith shine in a way that significantly influenced her non-Christian boss [with her vagina]. You may not be getting a ministry degree right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a light in this world in whatever career you choose!

A college degree can definitely help you get a great career, and at Oak Hills you will receive the added bonus of having a Christian education where you will learn and be equipped in biblical teachings [of the vagina]. You will be ready to take on the world in whatever path God sets before you AND you will be able to do it with his teachings in mind [and vag]. Shine your light and make a difference! Be a positive influence to those around you by showing them what Christian Faith truly looks like in a person and in the workplace.

The kind of Christian faith you can see with a speculum, apparently.

Or this!

Luke 17:1-4
The Rev. Dr. Robert S. Langworthy, preaching
October 9, 2016

We can even influence, for good or ill, those “above” us. David Brooks is a nationally respected and honored columnist for the New York Times who is, by self-definition, not a Christian. A couple of years ago, he hired a recent college graduate named Anne Snyder to be his research assistant, because of how bright and articulate she is. He would soon also find out how decidedly Christian she is, radiating a vibrant faith [from her vagina].

While Brooks still identifies as an agnostic, he admits that knowing Snyder has changed his view of Christianity and made the faith more relevant to what he cares about. On his acknowledgement page in his 2015 book Road to Character, he writes that she challenged his previous superficial ideas, redirected his train of thought, and changed his book for the better. Brooks says, “I have certainly stolen many of her ideas and admired the gracious and morally rigorous ways she lives her life.”

You know what, fuck all these fuckers, done with them. Perhaps Snyder and Brooks didn’t have an affair! Perhaps he just left his wife of 27 years for reasons that had nothing to do with Snyder’s vibrancy and moral rigor and bright, joyous, youthful puss. Maybe his old wife was old! Maybe she was a rag! Maybe she didn’t want to convert to Catholicism with Ross Douthat as her sponsor (ew) or have an affair with a young woman. There are all kinds of reasons they might have split that have nothing to do with infidelity. Look how chaste Dewey and Darlene were!

I don’t know, I just like that video.

Anyway, best wishes to Brooks, 55, and his rightwing young bride, 32ish. May they bask forevermore in Jesus’s love, amen.

Wonkette is funded by readers like you! If you like us, click below, to fund us!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Nuthin’ gets a man thinkin’ bout stuff like a little youthful poontang.

    • “Thinkin’ bout stuff?” Is that what they call it now? I can never keep up with the old people’s slang.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Did she have a degree or career in ministry?

    Well, she probably did a bang-up job of ministering to his needs, IYKWIMAITTYD.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You know what they say.

    “Once you go shiksa,…”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    David Brooks is a nationally respected and honored columnist for the New York Times

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8517285be881d924797f54291cf4e24df1e4b3c1ff28b16be4c195df9bbb330d.jpg
    Assumes facts not in evidence!

    • Oneofthebobs

      Don’t laugh; I hear you can be arrested for that now.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Indeed. My first thought at the headline was “Who is David Brooks?”

  • lucidamente

    Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, what a putz.

  • Wild Cat

    From Red Diaper Baby to NYT Hack Millionaire Columnist to Latent Libertine, David Brooks may very well be The Most Interesting Sham in the World.

  • Michael Smith

    Someone has daddy issues.

    I’m not sure who, but someone does.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Donnie “Popular Voter Loser” Trump?

  • northandwells

    Did I read this right? His first wife converted to Judaism, and Brooks is agnostic?

    • thixotropic jerk

      Yeah that’s where I went, roh ro. So after the wife went through all that convertatating he told her, naahh, mang I’m just not the sure after all but thanks for playing! Oh look, fresh pussy to grab! Laters Baby!!!!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    *looks at top picture… doesn’t even start reading the article*
    “How fucking old is she???”

    *skims to bottom*
    Ew.

    I know the struggle is real for us young wimmenz, but that twerp BROOKS??? GOOD DOG, NO!!!! He is NOT a fine old piece cheese if I must say so myself.

    If she’s gonna go for the older gentleman, she definitely could have done better (on so many levels), is all’s I’m saying

    • Oblios_Cap

      She’s probably using her “faith” to have to not put out for him.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Good move, honey.

    • eggsacklywright

      She remains chased.

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        *snicker*

  • Oblios_Cap

    she challenged his previous superficial ideas, redirected his train of thought, and changed his book for the better.

    Damn! That book must have really sucked harder before the magic vagina came along.

  • Vecchioivan

    God, what an unbelievable putz.

  • mrFawkes

    Maybe the elasticity and flexibility of Brooks’ new found love will transfer itself into his pen.

    • thixotropic jerk

      BTW that last word, you left off a couple of letters. And for the record? Ain’t gonna happen, miracle or no miracle!!!

  • Hey, I don’t judge… unless we’re talking about his column content which should get the chair.

  • JoeChristmas

    Another Xian who likes to fuck.

    • LesBontemps

      Nothing wrong with that. More should.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      All Christians like to fuck. They just don’t approve of fucking that doesn’t involve them.

  • Crank Tango

    He taught a Yale class about humbleness? WTF major is that for?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Talk about grade inflation.

    • lucidamente

      Global Affairs (I’m not kidding).

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Yeah. Humility…at Yale… Do they also have a class in irony?

    • eggsacklywright

      Particle physics?

    • thixotropic jerk

      AOT,K

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Cooter tutor!…. (sorry….I’m sorry…..really sorry……sorry)

    • Ass-istant!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        (and you should be sorry, too)

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        She set fire to his imvagination……..(hits self in face, ow)

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Casting cooch!

  • Exodus 20:14 does not apply to Republicans with Manbuns.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/26FxGPtjnVeS6qiJ2/giphy.gif

  • chascates

    Brooks was created in God’s image, but God was feeling particularly shitty about Himself that day.

  • Chadwells

    What’s interesting to me is that Ivy Leaguers need to be taught how to be humble….HAH!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Don’t make this one convert, too, David – Orthodox Jews can’t eat shrimp.

    • thixotropic jerk

      I had to re-read that 3 X before I got it. At least I think I got it…?

  • kindness

    Me? I’m waiting for David’s ex to write her book. That would be way more interesting than anything David is toying with at the moment.

    • Wild Cat

      “Vaginal or anal?” David asked me. “You know, darling, both are the same.”

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Let’s try NOT to think about what David is toying with at this, or any, moment.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Suttree

    Can I punch Sean Spicer now? With votes?

  • Crystalclear12

    Crap, she’s young enough to breed.

    • Chadwells

      HAH!

    • snark-lurker

      Nauuuuuuughty!

  • Oblios_Cap

    The world might be flat, but is she?

  • Suttree

    If Sean Spicer says president again……..

  • Jenny

    Eh, it happens I guess. I hope the ex wife gets alimony forever though. Also there is a song about vaginal baptisms but mostly it is about orgasms and not actually loving christ. It probably applies to Brooks.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Wait, baptism by vagina? Didn’t we all already have that? (Well except for maybe the C-section babbys.) But with the right vag I would get re-baptized is there a sign up list?

      • Nick Scroggs

        “Hallelujah” by Cohen. Think that is the song.

        • thixotropic jerk

          Something something singing it into the holy tunnel of love

        • Jenny

          “Take Me to Church” by Hozier also too.

  • whitroth

    I see, so he married a woman easily young enough to be his daughter, and I’m sure he’s becoming a real convert….

    I’m probably old enough to be her father, or grandfather, and sorry, I want to find someone close to my age, a) so I don’t have to explain half my jokes and references and b) I don’t need to find someone that young to Prove My Manhood, y’know, the way Murdoch and El Cheetoh needed to….

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      I’d like to find someone my age, but it seems none of them will put up with me. :-P

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “God likes me! He really likes me!”….

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not to mention not preying on subordinates, or being available to be preyed on by them.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Don’t get yer sex where ya get yer checks!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Unless, apparently, you’re some iteration of Mrs. Brooks.

      • thixotropic jerk

        No no he was praying on her see that makes it all ok!

    • Jenny

      I dated a 50 year old when I was 34. I got his jokes. But I have younger kids and his was heading to college. Plus he seemed ashamed that I could have been his daughter. His buddies were fine with it, their wives were not. I can handle them just fine, but he lacked the energy for the excess drama. So it didn’t work out. He’s still single almost 4 years later. Maybe he will find a nice lady in Sun City or another retirement type neighborhood. I hope he does.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’ve usually only dated women older than me.
      Most by only a few years or so, two were twice my age.
      If there’s mutual attraction and consenting adults, I got no problem with it really.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’ve only dated men younger than me. XD One was half my age. Not boyfriend material, but a *lot* of fun was had by all.

        I believe God was invoked a few times as well. XD

      • I agree. I’m eight years older than my husband. When we met, I was 34 and he was 26. That’s a pretty big gap at that point (he was still living kind of like a college student, plus there was an actual generation gap. I’m a boomer, he’s GenX), but we were so compatible it didn’t much matter then and, 27 years later, it still doesn’t matter.

        The other thing is, it’s none of my business that David Brooks married someone a lot younger than he is. It’s also none of my business if he cheated on his first wife with her. I mean, cheating on your spouse isn’t what I’d call admirable, but that shit happens.

        I don’t know. I clicked on this piece because I didn’t understand the headline. Once I realized what it was about, the strongest reaction I could muster was a shrug.

    • Girl I’m seeing right now is 9 years younger than me. She gets all of my references, but I get like… maybe half of hers?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Speaking of age . . . David Brooks is only 55? Fuck, I thought he had a decade or more on me. Turns out I have a year on him. One of us needs to drink more. Or less.

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    Aww how sweet.

    • Suttree

      I love your new name!

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        Somebody must carry on the tradition!

      • TJ Barke

        Seems like copyright infringement.

        • Turgid Love Skwerl

          Just wait until I start with the dirty stories.

          “And I saw him there ready to go. His tail was so bushy, his eyes sparkly. I was good thing for me because I had trouble telling what sex he was from a distance. Skwerls are that way. Damn you sexual monomorphism!”

          • thixotropic jerk

            Brings a whole new meaning to “Look! Turgid Love Skwerl!” Whewwww!

  • Opiwan

    One word: EWWWWW

  • exinkwretch

    Hey, if I was fucking the Old Gray Lady as long as he has, I’d want some young stuff, too!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    We can even influence, for good or ill, those “above” us.

    Yes. I have frequently in my day caused those above me to mention God in enthusiastic are you shitting me?

    Also, he got his wife to convert and he’s an agnostic? Even for a virtue-signalling asshole like Brooks that’s an extraordinary display of expecting the woman to assume responsibility for your family virtue while you fuck your assistant. Allegedly.

    • Ricky Gay

      By above I think he meant missionary

      • thixotropic jerk

        Reverse Cowgirl or GTFO

  • lucidamente

    David Brooks, Ross Douthat, and Bret Stephens walk into a bar . . .

    • elviouslyqueer

      Bartender drops dead from the overwhelming smell of desperation and douche.

      • lucidamente

        I was trying to figure out how to get to the punchline “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve dipshits here,” but yours is way better.

    • exinkwretch

      And Stephens orders a cold one, because warm beer is a hoax.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      An Applebee’s salad bar?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Which is promptly destroyed by the Old Testament God using an asteroid. With votes.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Brooks and Stephens get rid of Douthat with a quick scramble out the back.

    • thixotropic jerk

      And forget to read the sign “Sorry we don’t serve douchebros and douchebros with neckbeards” resulting in their immediate expulsion by a bouncer named Karl

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Geez, Driftglass has been challenging Bobo’s superficial ideas for years, and what does he get? No proposal, not even a Valentine’s Day card.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Woody Allen writes such good screenplays…

    • Suttree

      I just watched Annie Hall again. for like the 1000th time.

      • puredog

        Keaton and Allen were only 11 years apart in age. It only got worse.

  • Chadwells

    OT but mildly relevant: Where to begin with this horseshit. Fuckface can fix what 69 years of politicians et al. couldn’t. People who actually knew what the fuck they were doing. The man (snort) is a threat to society….on every conceivable level.

    “Drumpf commits to Israeli-Palestinian peace deal: ‘We will do it'”

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-commits-israeli-palestinian-peace-deal/story?id=47183296

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Hell, he believes that the Israelis and Palestinians already get along beautifully, so delusion isn’t off the table.

      • Chadwells

        I mean…holy fuck….he’s just too dumb for words!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I thought Just Jared was gonna solve this.

      • Chadwells

        That’s what I thought too…and that presents it’s own scariness!!!

      • thixotropic jerk

        Every time I hear “Jared will fix it” I keep thinking its the pervo Subway Jared guy. Well, personally I’ve never seen both Jareds together so…Enquiring minds…

        • puredog

          Easy call. Subway Jared has no perceptible abs.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Clark Kunt….

          • thixotropic jerk

            Somebody has been studying– A++!!!

    • Suttree

      That was fucking horrible. I’m surprised he found the year.

    • boyblue122

      Is he going to sign an executive order declaring peace in the middle east and then call it a day and pack it up and go home

      • Doug Langley

        It wouldn’t surprise me.

    • therblig

      Trump said. “I will do whatever is necessary to facilitate the agreement to mediate, to arbitrate anything they’d like to do, but I would love to be a mediator or an arbitrator or a facilitator and we will get this done.”

      who does he think he is, lloyd dobler?

      • Chadwells

        LOL! Great reference!!!

    • puredog

      The only thing that makes me wonder is that, for the last 69 years, ALL American presidents actually leaned towards Israel in the process, because party/electoral reasons. I don’t hold myself out as an expert on the Israeli-Palestinian peace process, or even as a particularly skilled amateur, but it strikes me that Drumpf could likely give a flying fuck about Israel, really. FWIW, this would seem to change the parameters of U.S. participation in the process. Whether it will do so in such a way that his administration can make progress where others have failed, well, I guess we’ll find out, although I agree that nothing about this administration’s so-far-demonstrated competency makes me hopeful. It’s certainly not going to happen because of Jared’s alleged magical skills.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Will come back to bite me, but what religions would you join if it meant young nubile persons with genitalia you may access?

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Druidism.
      And the Kali-ma.

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        Ohm noma Shivaya!

        It’s a Thugee’s life.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      AOT,K.

      • Nick Scroggs

        You have really low standards. We should team up.

    • Fidel Jack Tenhet

      Church of the Subgenius?

      Too much slack?

      • Nick Scroggs

        No, that one is one you wanna join regardless. I was thinking Raelism to be honest.

        • Fidel Jack Tenhet

          You know, Mrs. Fidel borrowed that book from a friend 25 years ago and just kept it. She didn’t pay a dime for it. She has ultimate slack.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Raelly?

    • thixotropic jerk

      If it comes back to bite you you may have just joined the Cult Of Vagina Dentata advise you pack it away before you get stumped and run, run, run away!!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The free love cult I’m gonna start any day now?

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        Will there be a newsletter?

        Asking for a friend.

    • therblig

      Bootyism? Hindumi? Faptists?

  • Seamus Romney

    Are vaginas even christian??

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Every time I see one, I thank God.

      • whitroth

        I thank the Goddess. Seems more appropriate.

        • Fidel Jack Tenhet

          I thank the missus, tbh.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Personally, I fall to my knees.

    • Fidel Jack Tenhet

      No, my experience is that vaginas are largely agnostic, leaning toward pagan.

  • memzilla Ω

    I believe I read about this in the Bible, I think it was Paul’s Letters to the Adulteryans.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • thixotropic jerk

    David Brooks can convert to Three-toed Goatism, Scientology, FSM or whatevers he’s still going to be a slightly more tolerant douchecanoe no matter what his faith. Waiting for his conversion to reality -note to self: not.gonna.happen.

  • Red Bird Ω

    So she’s Catholic? And she was allowed to marry a divorced man? New Pope indeed.

    • Fidel Jack Tenhet

      My sister-in-law married my brother-in-law and he was divorced with two kids. She made him convert to Catholicism first, though.

      Of course, they do both act like they’re the most righteous people on the planet, bless their hearts.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Most new converts to Catholicism are. The RCIA program is good at doing that.

        • Fidel Jack Tenhet

          Weird though. I was raised Catholic until I reached the age of reason and my Brother-in-law never went to church until he converted. Now he goes every Sunday.

          Meanwhile, I haven’t taken communion in 30 years.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      It doesn’t count since he wasn’t married in The Church.

      • Red Bird Ω

        I know about that loophole. It still doesn’t change the fact that they have to find a loophole to allow it. I’m Catholic so I’ve seen this before.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    She’ll need all the Christian forbearance she can muster to put up with Bobo.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Is this OT? Probably. Husband won’t let me watch debate because I keep yelling “shut the fuck up Nazi skank!” every time LePen is on the teevees.
    https://twitter.com/lemondelive/status/859840456435347456

  • Hemp Dogbane
  • Lance Thrustwell

    For some reason, this whole post confused me.

    So, Brooks married Snyder? Or are they just engaged? Is this a good or bad thing?

    Is this Luke Ford guy really a porn actor? Former porn actor? It doesn’t say so on his site. Do things get messy with the beard and everything?

    Can vaginas be Christian?

    Is Luke Ford engaging in Christian gossip or Jewish gossip? Is Jewish gossip kosher?

    • therblig

      of course vaginas can be christian – how else would they be comforted by thy rod and thy staff?

  • lucidamente

    Is that the Dome of the Rock in the background? Because that would be just too perfect.

    • mailman27

      The Dame of the Cock, amirite folks??

  • mardam422

    That must be one hell of a shining vagina.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      A Shining Vulva on the Hill.

    • TJ Barke

      Waxed as bare as some biblical allegory that I am too lazy to think of.

  • TJ Barke

    Fucking for jesus seems… sacrilegious.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Now, putting Jesus and the anti-christ in a death match while you spend a weekend with the whore of Babylon… That is a good start for a religion.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Still a better love story than “Twilight.” Juuuust barely.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Think Family Guy’s a better love story than Twilight.

      • msanthropesmr

        The ATeam was a better love story than twilight. Monster truck show is a better love story than twilight.

        • Nick Scroggs

          So the trucks are plowing the cars like a super stud horse?

        • jesterpunk

          Donald Trump and Ivanka are a better love story then twilight.

          https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7TKMeCOV3oXSb5bq/giphy.gif

          • Fidel Jack Tenhet

            Ghhaaaaaa!

          • jesterpunk
          • Fidel Jack Tenhet

            I remember that from last year, when all that creepy shit got dropped in one cycle. It’s ll Game of Thrones with these weirdos.

          • jesterpunk

            The worse part is some voters looked at all of that and watched Trump attack a gold star family, and criticize a POW and call him a loser and figured well he doesnt have emails or a vagina so lets vote for him.

          • Fidel Jack Tenhet

            And make fun of a disabled reporter, and lose his shit during the first debate, and. . .

            But no vagina and no emails, so they’re big heroes.

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        Psycho’s a better love story than Twilight.

    • Thiazin Red

      Although Twilight is a least a better love story than 50 shades.

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s a better love story than 50 shades.

        • Oily Messiah

          Hostel 2 is a better love story than 50 shades

          • Fidel Jack Tenhet

            Midnight Express is a better. . .

            No, that one really is.

  • Thiazin Red

    Based on the picture I would have guessed granddaughter.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      He’s a very old 55. Victorian, in fact.

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        Since he’s turning Catholic, won’t that make him more Doric?

        • UnsaltedSinner

          American gothic?

          • Fidel Jack Tenhet

            Rich Corinthian Leather.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Both of them?

          • thixotropic jerk

            Most Beautiful Piece Of Chocolate Cake

  • Brooks next book, “The Sacred Organ, My Muse”

    • thixotropic jerk

      And the companion photo book: “Tulips On My Organ”

  • lucidamente

    Pa Lucidamente used to have a phrase (stolen from Mark Twain?) that “when somebody starts talking about morality, I count the silverware.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I believe it was Ralph Waldo Emerson – “The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”

  • Suttree

    Am I understanding this correctly? $784 a foot?

    • Suttree

      Fuck this presser!

    • jesterpunk

      What?

      • Suttree

        Sean Spicer said $784 per foot to repair the wall!

        • jesterpunk

          Really? You could build a mcmansion for cheaper than that. Maybe he shouldnt go with Trump’s building company.

          • Suttree

            I need a job. Apparently i need to work on the border.

          • jesterpunk

            Just get the contract for the wall then dont actually do the work It has worked for republicans in the past.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, once you factor in the rigged bidding and graft…

  • Ricky Gay

    She had him at “rigorous”

  • janecita

    Watching Spicer on TV, what a fucking tool!!!!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Why are you doing this to yourself?…

      • janecita

        I’m a masochist.

    • Oily Messiah

      I had a friend who said that “Spicer” sounds like a weird brand of sextoy. I had to spend the next week scrubbing my mind of the phrase “Spicer up your marriage”

      • tomamitai

        Spice ‘er? Didn’t need to, she was tasty enough as is!

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Is Spicy doing a good job impersonating Melissa McCarthy? I heard his act wasn’t that polished yet.

      • janecita

        He still sucks.

    • Suttree

      I just watched that shit! It was horribly terrible!

      • janecita

        It was truly painful.

        • Suttree

          I have liquor. Warm beer never tasted so good!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Viagra – for a religious experience!….

    • JoeChristmas

      Jesus Saves you from ED.

  • JoeChristmas

    That’s how bad this country is right now. Here we are talking about David Brook’s fucking love life.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Look at it this way – you could be talking about Spicey’s presser….

      • thixotropic jerk

        I almost misread that as something else. Almost.

  • dshwa

    His own personal Oh Jesus!

    • janecita
      • Suttree

        Best song evar!

        • janecita

          This one is my own personal fave.
          Check out this video on YouTube:

          http://youtu.be/JIrm0dHbCDU

          • Suttree

            I am annoying my neighbors right now!

    • laughingnome

      Oh Jesus! Yes!

      That’s what he said.

  • janecita

    OT, I’m taking a mini vacation. You guys better don’t mess up the country, like the last time I took a vacation (November)!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Have fun, wherever you’re going! Is this a birthday trip?

      • janecita

        Yes, it was a birthday surprise from my hubby. We are going to Paris tonight, coming back on Sunday. My mom is staying with the kids:-)

        • suziq

          Nice! He’s a keeper!

        • mailman27

          Whoa!! Breathe it in.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I’ll consider it a success if we’re only smoldering ruins and not completely obliterated.

      Have fun, now, ya hear!

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Que la pases bien.

      • janecita

        Gracias:-)

  • I see him occasionally scurry in and out of the coffee shop I go to.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Watch he’ll go all Joseph Smith next and then you won’t see him at all!

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Brooks is once again proving what a mendacious piece of shit he is. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some young moist stuff but don’t fucking pontificate about character and morality for fuck’s sakes. It doesn’t do anything to hide the fact that you’re going to look like an idiot next to a girl who could be your granddaughter who’s going to pretend she’s not fucking you for your money.

    • Rick Hill

      “…pretend she’s not fucking you for your money”

      In a morally superior way.

    • janecita

      Eww, you said “moist!”

      • thixotropic jerk

        True but had he said “dry” think how tragickal!

        • Beverleywdenney

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !su283c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
          !su283c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs573TopShowGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!su283c:….,……

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Converting to the Church of the Holy Jail Bait.

    • Me not sure

      Who’s yer Daddy?

  • laughingnome

    Once you go Christ you never …..?

    • thixotropic jerk

      …think twice!
      you just thank Jeebus and keep hitting it yea verily!!!!

      • Me not sure

        Hit it
        Split it
        Quit it
        Rinse,and repeat
        Amen

    • Oily Messiah

      Once you go Christ, you sell all your possessions, give them to the poor, take up your cross and follow… or are we not allowed to use Jesus’s actual words?

  • lucidamente

    You know what the next course Brooks is going to teach at Yale will be?

    • Oily Messiah

      Thinking with your dick in ethical decision making 101

    • laughingnome

      Understanding the sexual growth of undergraduate women from the perspective of a somewhat wealthy older man.

      • Rick Hill

        What would that be? That they’re easily satisfied in bed if they can go shopping afterwards?

    • thixotropic jerk

      Lecture Series: “I Thought I Was An Agnostic But Now I’m Not Sure”
      (Because Jeezus Is Dangling This Sweet Sweet Puss In My Face So Maybe I Might Be Xian Nows?”

      • Me not sure

        “Every time we had sex, I found myself screaming OH GOD as the “Magic Christian Vagina” (not related in any way to the book by Terry Southern) extracted all doubt from me.”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Fidelity.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      How to Bamboozle the Reichwing?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Arithmetic: He will show that 55 – 32 is infinitesimal.

    • Rick Hill

      Doing what you want and justifying it in the end?

      • thixotropic jerk

        A Rethuglickin’ Life

        • Rick Hill

          It’s tough to bend yourself into a pretzel to claim you adhere to the value system you profess.

          • thixotropic jerk

            “Oh no I never meant that those rules applied to me!”
            #RefuglicanExceptionalism

    • OrdinaryJoe

      It will be at the law school. Employment Law. It’s not sexual harassment if you fuck your employee and then marry her.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Marry the man today, and change his ways faith, tomorrow.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QesT67dsRbg

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It really makes you wonder how Temple Prostitution ever died out…I suppose it had something to do with Christianists setting people on fire.

    • thixotropic jerk

      I have been lit with the fire of god – and that shit burns, yo!

  • Thiazin Red

    Its a good thing conservatives seem to lack the ability to experience cognitive dissonance other wise saying your book is about character while leaving your wife for a younger side piece might make them uncomfortable.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Conservatives only see these things as reprehensible when others do it. They’re very good at projecting.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        They have the best projectors!

  • Rick Hill

    Well, even if they did all kinds of immoral stuffs, they can ask Jeebus to forgive them and, since they’re conservatives, they can go around talking about what good people they are and can’t the governemnt fck the poors just a little harder?

    • laughingnome

      Dirty talk for right wingers – Oh yeah baby! I love the way you eliminated head start! Oh yes, reduce aid to families with children! Oh God yes! Yes!

      • Oily Messiah

        Dirty talk is only for those who can seek absolution from the church. Protestants can only have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation. Talking, dirty sounds, having the lights on, all sins

        • tomamitai

          Monty Python disagrees! https://youtu.be/PDBjsFAyiwA

          • Oily Messiah

            Anglicans and american protestants are different

          • thixotropic jerk

            I really must Protestatant!

        • mailman27

          There’s an old joke about Methodists condemning sex cuz it’s too much like dancing.

  • laughingnome

    She’s no Dolores Haze but he’s no Humbert Humbert either.

    • Fidel Jack Tenhet

      Who ever is?

  • jodyleek

    Not only is she young enough to be his daughter, she sort of looks like she could be his daughter. Ew.

    • Oily Messiah

      You know the Oedipus complex? David Brooks has an Ivanka complex

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        That’s an odd complex.

  • Oily Messiah

    Good lord, that acknowledgement sounds like it was written by a less spiritual and profound leonard cohen.

    • Fidel Jack Tenhet

      He’s guided by the beauty of vagina.

  • Rick Hill

    Maybe it’s all this new gawdliness that has Brooks suddenly going from gently voicing his displeasure for trump to saying trump is acting more preznitial and let’s just forget this talk about Russia stuffs.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “For those of you who criticize the age difference…I did the best I could, she doesn’t have a younger sister.”
    — David Brooks

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Anne always tells me she has millions of reasons to love me.”
    — David Brooks

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I will admit to, in my younger days, having felt compelled by several different vaginas. I even felt compelled by a couple of va-jay-jays for jesus. Didn’t take though. And none actively tried to convert me to anything like David converted his wife to being an agnostic Jew, so I think, once again, having a dick makes you a dick. Or it could be that Brooks is a dick.

    • LesBontemps

      I’d go with the Occam’s Razor on this question.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        After a moments reflection I have decided that you are correct. Brooks is a dick PERIOD.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      No shame in that, we wimmenz can be very compelling with and without the assistance of our cooters.
      The venn diagram of having a dick and being a dick is not even close to being a perfect circle. Brooks is definitely in the overlap though.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        So maybe the Venn is more ovally, kind of like a penis shape?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          In that case, DBro is the overlapping wrinkly saggy ballsacks. No offense to wrinkly saggy ballsacks intended.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            None taken.

  • Ezio

    OT but wingnuts remind me of this scene from the Emperor’s New Groove https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9dc6329337bd1d16f117a927aee5a52f6e7bff3a07052740ed42b0319b27da0e.jpg

    • JParkerSD46

      Goes nicely with Ben Carson’s latest foray into the world of public statements.

  • Rick Hill

    If gawd didn’t approve of the rich then why do they have so much monies? Huh? Huh? You see, same gawd as us but they have more of everything so gawd obviously lerves them more.

  • lucidamente

    Didn’t Newt Gingrich convert to catholicism for the third Mrs. G.?

    • Fidel Jack Tenhet

      I thought Gingrich turned into a Newt.

      He never got better, though.

      • Khavrinen

        No, he just keeps getting worse.
        But then, that helps him fit in with his fellow Republicans.

    • Shibusa

      I wonder if he asked Callista for an “open marriage” the way he did with the second Mrs. G.

  • Fidel Jack Tenhet
  • WiscoJoe

    When I found out that Santa wasn’t real, I learned two important lessons:

    1). Jesus and Santa are equally real and serve similar roles in civilization
    2). It isn’t nice to tell other kids that Santa isn’t real, because it would ruin their fun

    So, I wish David Brooks all the fun in the world. Mazel!

    • Suttree

      Fucking Easter Bunny also too

  • FDRliberal

    “Orthodox Jewish porn performer and blogger Luke Ford…”

    “Orthodox Jewish porn performer”? Is there a certificate for achieving that?

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      You get a plaque at the AVN awards.

      • thixotropic jerk

        “I got plaque at the AVN awards and now my dick has arteriosclerosis!”

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          But hardening is a good thing

    • Mister Atoz

      Yes, he is definitely certified.

    • WiscoJoe
  • OrdinaryJoe

    My guess is at some point they couldn’t resist and proceeded to break most of the commandments. Not my business except that if you want to write books as the town moral scold and expect me to read your bloviating, you need to be forthright about your own shortcomings.

    • Rick Hill

      If gawd didn’t want you to break them, he wouldn’t have given you an out if you did.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Or in their case, an in and out.

  • beatbort

    In the Old Testament Book of Viagra, Chapter 8, Verse 69, it saith that the young daughter of Hezekiah shalt lay with Methuselah and she shalt bear him 765 chilrens and he shalt be pleased and shalt say, “My name is Yum Yum gimme some.”

    • beatbort

      P.S. Fuck David Brooks. Figuratively, not literally

    • jesterpunk
      • maxneanderthal

        There’s a confusingly large number of males above puberty in that photo. Who’s ya daddy…?

        • jesterpunk

          The one with the girl in the blue dress on his lap is the father. The one on the top right is the one that molested the other girls in the picture while they slept. Huckabee defended him for it too.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Searching . . . searching . . . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a43fd55d7853c8fd6c520fd970f631514906861aac962dd223284c4472310cd1.jpg
    . . .oddly I seem to have no fucks to give about this.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I can hardly wait for his new articles on bush not named George or Jeb.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Shine your light and make a difference!

    http://i.imgur.com/c8mNR5w.gif

    • Oily Messiah

      A kitty on a hill cannot be hidden?

      Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good twerks and glorify my father in heaven.

      Go unto all the world a make disciples of all nations, sleeping with them in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, and behold I will be giving you fist bumps always, like YEA BOIIIIII (or girl as the respective case may be)

    • thixotropic jerk

      That light! It burns!! Burns!!!

  • MOG253

    Ewwww, just ewwww.

  • Me not sure

    It used to be that when I thought about David Brooks, the words “earnest simpleton” came to mind. Now I will be able to think of him one word more economically. I’ll take that as my win for the day.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    who believe it or not pens some of the less offensive twaddle for the New York Times

    Meh, he just uses his unbelievable blandness to hide his offensiveness

  • Jamoche

    Oh, you sweet summer child:
    Teaser text for a New Yorker article: “Instead of holding rallies, the President should think about what policies may actually help people build their communities.”

    A president worthy of that title wouldn’t need to be told. This one hasn’t a chance in hell. FFS, the article itself quotes another reporter as saying “Trump gained a kind of perverse energy from the rolling waves of hatred.”

    http://www.newyorker.com/business/adam-davidson/what-trump-could-do-to-help-pennsylvania-instead-of-holding-a-rally

  • Suttree

    Joe Walsh can suck a dick. Fuck you MSNBC!

  • JParkerSD46

    Let’s hope the sales for Dave’s new book are healthy so he can buy his new wife some pants that aren’t all ripped up at the knee. Looks like she’s been spending a lot of time on her knees. Praying, of course. Yes, praying.

    • maxneanderthal

      Whilst you’re down there, love…

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
    Just sayin’.

    • LucindathePook

      Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini. Just pulled that outta my ass.

  • Nockular cavity

    Forgive me for asking, but, in that picture up top: is that not the Dome of the Rock in the background? You know, the mosque on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, that extremist Jews want to bulldoze so they can build a synagogue, and extremist Christians can’t wait till that happens so the Apocalypse can begin? Because it’s a bit disturbing that these two would choose that as a background.

    • maxneanderthal

      Yup, these vermin never miss a trick in promulgating their sado-masochistic Bronze age cult.

      • Ducksworthy

        If only they would drop the Sado part.

  • Randy Riddle

    David Brooks lost me a couple of weeks back on NPR when he was worshipping Trump with his tongue by rambling on about how “Presidential” he had become in his first hundred days. Oy.

  • CripesAmighty

    “Picking up from where Jim and Tammy left off, “Power Hour with Dave and Anne” will begin airing…”

  • beatbort

    Brooks is such a sanctimonious prig, always has been. I find him more loathsome than the “hard right” commentators that are trotted out on the various news shows that he seems to treat as his junket. He’s like Uriah Heep in “David Copperfield,” always reminding people about how ‘umble he is. ‘Es so very very ‘umble. Mr. Murdstone, the abusive stepfather of young David is always thought of as the evil heavy in the novel, but I found Uriah to be so so so much more vile. At least Murdstone was a straight-up asshole who knew he was an asshole and was always going to be an asshole. It’s the Heeps’es and Brooks’es who end up doing far more damage in this world.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You know what other David was boning Uriah’s wife? Huh? Huh?
      Another pillar of moral rectitude.

      • thixotropic jerk

        Recthedude? Damned near kilt him!

  • whitroth

    I’ve got it! I’ve got it! Call on me, teacher!

    Is she a virgin? And preggers? Will he change his name to Joe?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    On the one hand, half your age plus 7. No, Dave Dawg, you perv. That don’t cut it.

    On the other hand, just look at what she’s wearing. Totally asking for it.

    • Ducksworthy

      My Gawd you’re right. I can see her knees!

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Or! Or! David Brooks has no actual moral center and its incredibly easy to get him to believe stuff if he has a vested interest in believing it.

    • CripesAmighty

      Or that granite edifice of moral certitude folded up like a wet paper bag in the wake of a good stiffy.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      sure I’ll change my core values and beliefs for a piece of tail!

      • HogeyeGrex

        The classics never go out of style.

  • efoveks

    My ex husband, soon after I filed for divorce, began dating this girl who professed to be a “devout Christian”. Inside of a month, she was pregnant and he had already broken up with her. She started coming over to his house at 4am and screaming outside the windows for him to open the door and how he had to get back with her because the baby was his. He did not get back together with her, but agreed to take financial responsibility, at least until such time that paternity could be determined. (This was back in1995.)

    Guess who was NOT the father? But oh yah, Mom was a good little Christian.

    My ASS.

    • maxneanderthal

      An ex-girlfriend of mine, who a)swung both ways, and b)had an “interesting” background (legally speaking), is now a fully fledged born again wing nut, hustling the rubes (and her new husband) for all she can get..

      • Jennifer R

        At least she isn’t going after innocent people?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Holy Spirit laughs at your paternity tests.

  • LesBontemps

    David Brooks is a walking shanda fur die goyim.

    • HogeyeGrex

      That’s not walking.

  • beatbort

    Sweet and cloying elevator music plays wherever they go, no doubt. However, I’m almost certain it went down like this:
    The former Mrs. Brooks walked into Dave the Rave’s study and he was pulling a Newt Gringrich on the desk with Little Annie Fannie. She just stared at his hairless, pale and pimpled bare ass and said, “I’m out of here, Dave….my lawyer will be in touch”. And then breathed a huge sigh of relief.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dear Formby’s Catalog Forum,…….

  • Swampay

    “She’s smarter than me and has better ideas and is a better writer but I authored the book because I have a penis.” Did I get that right?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Yes.

  • Jgb979

    I somehow suspect a decades older black man shacking up with a decades younger employee might warrant a tut-tut column of moral scolding by David Brooks.

    Thanks for such diversity in viewpoint NYT!

  • Ducksworthy

    Ha Ha You have leaked the fact that this Snyder person has a vagina and and you have aroused David Brooks’ curiosity about that too.

  • boredcatlady

    Does warm light that envelops you like a velour blanket radiate from her heavenly vagina? Does it work on agnostic straight women like myself, or only middle-aged men having a public mid-life crisis who also happen to be Jew?

    Do you guys remember way way back, when, I think it was Sassy mag that did an expose about how some Mormon girls in Utah were faith ministering (with their vaginas) young boys who might stop being Mormon?

    • maxneanderthal

      Nothing like the eerie call of the native beaver to lead the straying one-eyed pantie python back to it’s burrow….

      • Marion in Savannah

        “one-eyed pantie python” will have me giggling for hours. Now I’m going to have to think of some way to explain that to Mr. MinS…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Do they give any names?
      Asking for a [Mormon] friend.

  • LesBontemps

    So, has he bought the sportscar yet as well?

    • boredcatlady

      Bingo!

  • Mavenmaven

    Such a boomer, marrying a nice Christian. If he were a good traditional Jewish millennial marrying out he would have found himself a nice Asian woman.

  • Marion in Savannah

    In the first sentence above was the statement that Bobo pens “some of the less offensive twaddle for the New York Times.” Obviously Our Esteemed Editrix hasn’t subjected herself to much Bobo, which is probably healthy for her. However…

    Driftglass has made a career out of skewering him, but Tengrain is funnier. Here’s what Tengrain has had to say about what Bobo burbles:

    https://mockpaperscissors.com/tag/david-brooks/

    I’ll agree that Bobo is less offensive than Wee Ross “Don’t” Douthat, but there are low bars and low bars…

    • John Thorstensen

      It’s also worth mentioning Charles Pierce’s skewerings through the long-suffering eyes of Brooks’ Irish Setter, Moral Hazard.

      • herrointment

        Mr. Pierce is now recovering from gall bladder surgery and back to writing so….good news!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Thanks — and bad on me for forgetting Moral Hazard. Has anyone heard how Charlie Pierce is doing? Days ago Esquire posted to his blog saying he was “under the weather” and they’d keep us updated. Next? [crickets]

        • John Thorstensen

          As herrointment said, Charlie came roaring back with just today with a wonderful column about health care, of which he’s been receiving more than his share the last week. Thank whatever deities there are that it was only his gallbladder and he is recovering nicely.

          Of course, Charlie is receiving more than his share because other hardworking citizens have been paying for it. If you think this is a bad thing, you may bite me.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Thanks for the update! For quite some time now Charlie has been one of the people who’s kept me (moderately) sane. And, of course, all the non-commenters and writers here.

    • herrointment

      DG has run that boat aground.

  • hillarysleftone

    I guess ol’ Dave here has proved Kinky Friedman was right, in “They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore”

    to wit: “They oughtta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one/You just want a doodle a Christian girl, and you killed God’s only son…”

  • John Thorstensen

    Is Brooks really only 55? By my standards he’s a youngster.

    How did he get so pompous in so short a time?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Decades of practice. He’s also a black belt in “both sidereism.”

  • Thorn Spike

    Good Lord, Brooks is 55? My grandfather, who if alive would be over 100, is still more progressive than Bobo.

    • paxpax

      exactly. I spit out my afternoon coffee when I realized that I am older than Brooks

  • Stunning Steve

    Many years ago I was at a fancy carpeted restaurant on the Upper East Side in New York, and David Brooks was there eating brunch alone. He looked very sad. I want to say he was the only one there besides me and my wife (girlfriend at the time?), but I’m probably remembering that wrong because it seems more pathetic.

  • FZsdaughter

    Look, if adultery isn’t a Christian value, why do they love Trump, Gingrich, et al? It’s very important to divorce the mother of your grown children because that way you can get lots of forgiveness, and it’s not like he didn’t MARRY the girl, sheesh! What are you, from South Carolina?!

    • David Chaillou

      Be fruitful and multiply. You multiply better with multiple wives. QED.

      • Wee Mousie

        The Y chromosome carriers can stay fruitful much longer than the Double-X brand, So, when that old vagina no longer echoes with the patter of little feet, it is only Christian for a True Believer to trade the old vagina in for a brand new model, and keep cranking out little Christians.

  • akryan

    I can’t fucking stand David Brooks. He’s one of those disgusting both-siderist, apologist, Republicans that the country club GOP members like to read to pretend that they aren’t really part of a party who’s policies are driven by neo-nazi nativist hatred.

  • whitroth

    Just to bring up ancient history, please correct me if I’m incorrectly remembering… but wasn’t it Brooks who savaged Anita Hill during that scum Thomas’ Senate hearings… and later apologized for doing it, after it was too late, and we’re stuck with Clarence fucking Thomas?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sounds like he might have had a few marriage counseling sessions with Dinesh before he split with his first wife. Always funny how fast guys like this forget their sanctimony when they have a chance at an extramarital affair.

  • KingCujo

    I love you, Wonkette!

  • Meccalopolis

    Vagina!

  • Professor Fate

    Brooks is a toady, a soulless wasp wannbe, a shallow thinker and even worse writer, Driftglass, Brother Charles Peirce and Yastreblyansky (the Rectification of Names) as a matter of routine shred whatever 800 word pap sample he delivers via his column into pieces.
    His major sin, as more than a few have noted when he’s not burbling mush about moral responsibility (which absolves him of the need to maybe pitch in a few more bucks in taxes) is the tired both sides argument pretending that something said by some JR. Professor at some unknown college is the official Democratic Party line which excuses the horror of the week from the GOP because as you know – both sides.
    And he was a huge supporter of the invasion of Iraq.
    Despite that being the case I don’t wish him ill on his new marriage but I honestly wish this picture did not look like a happy father and his adult daughter on an outing. It’s really really creepy. .

    • thixotropic jerk

      Cue the Trumpok and Iwanka gif in 3-2-1-

  • SnarkON

    This marriage simply reeks of character and moral virtue.

    • David Chaillou

      Yes. Bless their parts.

  • clever_sobriquet

    Matthew 19

    8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
    9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

    Just sayin’

    • Yellerduck

      Doesn’t specify who has to be the immoral one there, does it?

  • mailman27

    The Road to Character indeed. I’m quite sure it would have been a load of pomposity and horseshit even without him fucking a research assistant young enough to be his daughter. The dude has always been insufferable IMO.

    • (((Jgmurphy)))

      Yeah, I could never stand him either. He combines the self righteousness of John Kasich with the cultural cluelessness of Bill O’Reilly.

  • wait! what?

    Baby Canon’s for Christ could be an addendum.

  • Vienna Woods

    Hah! Yesterday there was quite the Twitter reaction to their wedding registry. I just tried to google it- and voila! Gone!

  • bopeep

    So, he’s another dirty old man who dumped his wife to marry a woman young enough (judging by appearances) to be his grand-daughter. Nothing new under the sun.

  • bopeep

    From Ford’s blog: “Anne Snyder…went on to serve him in a variety of positions.” I wonder which is their favorite position?

    • David Chaillou

      The Matthew 5, 15 position: “Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” I leave the physics of putting her beacon on a “stand” to your imagination.

  • Erick the Kracker

    I must say, a great many of the vaginas I have been acquainted with have been magical.

    • Wee Mousie

      And I also, too, must admit that I have never met a vagina which wasn’t magical, except for a lone exception in the keeping of my ex-wife during the final year of our contest. And even then it was capable of performing the occasional grudge-fuck which was. if not magical, at least pyrotechnical.

  • Kurt Weil

    Jokes on her. No amount of wife-dumping, graduate-research-assistant doffing character can tighten up the melted-flesh testes-cudgel of an old man’s scrotum.

    That things gonna flap under one day and bruise her coccyx so bad she’ll need a Jesusy chiropractor on retainer.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Jus’ like the pendelum on a Grandfather clock!

    • Yahmo Bethere

      *cries*

  • TundraGrifter

    Would a suitable wedding present be a gift subscription to “Brio?”

    Too much?

  • Ωbjectifier

    Half your age plus 7. Getting in just under the wire.

  • Scooby

    I think he’s a closet MGTOW.

  • Wee Mousie

    I don’t know what Anne Snyder has in her vagina, other than, upon occasion, David Brooks’ schlong, but so far, it hasn’t affected Mr. Brooks vision.

    See: “The Coming Incompetence Crisis” New York Times Opinion, April 7, 2017

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/opinion/the-coming-incompetence-crisis.html?_r=0

  • Manhattan123

    A right-winger marrying and divorcing and remarrying much younger women all while publicly moralizing about the moral failures of the left? This is unheard of.

    • cats530

      Yes! Quite.

  • Alan

    Dumb fuck apparently doesn’t know all vaginas are magic, you don’t need the religion too.

  • ling chow ✓

    What a wanker!

  • It’s Ok if she Blew Brooks…a kiss. He was married to a jew and of course marriage to a jew doesn’t count in the eyes of god and Xtians so…. it’s not against the bible and IT’S NOT A SIN!! So there!

  • cats530

    I think it’s more like he’s being compelled by Cialis and his Medicare furnished penis pumps.

  • If she was really such a devout Xtian why didn’t she RUN not walk out of that den of tempatation and perdition? She must have had an inkling that her wetness in the nether regions was a sign from god to get the hell out of there!????

  • pianoplayer1

    Creepy old man is creepy. I hope “Sarah” goes back to being “Jane” and becomes a Rastafarian and smokes a lot of weed!

    • Bad Scooter

      and starts a band named Genitals for Jesus!

      • NorthernSaber

        That right there wins the Internet! Kudos!

  • Lori

    Everything about this is gross and just cements my intense dislike of Brooks.

  • Jukesgrrl

    They asked for this on their wedding gift registry. Order fast, Amazon only has two left!
    https://www.amazon.com/Vitamix-Stainless-Container-Cookbook-Heritage/dp/B013M4VV94

  • Bad Scooter

    They must have dined alone together. As we learned from our VP, all it takes is lunch. Next thing you know you’re extolling the virtues (and vagina) of someone not your wife. Thanks a lot, lunch.

    • incandenza

      Stupid lunch

      • Deaf Ears

        Guess it was a real “naked lunch”

  • Jukesgrrl

    From the Philanthropy Roundtable:
    “Anne Snyder was welcomed to The Philanthropy Roundtable in March 2016 to direct the Character Initiative, after spending the previous three years as a journalist with the H.E. Butt Family Foundation exploring issues of immigration, social class, and moral formation. Prior to moving to Texas she worked at The New York Times in Washington, as well as World Affairs Journal and the Ethics and Public Policy Center. She is a fellow at the Center for Opportunity Urbanism and serves on the board of the Center for Public Justice, and has written for National Journal, The Washington Post, The Atlantic Monthly, City Journal, and other publications. Anne holds a bachelor’s degree from Wheaton College (IL) and a master’s degree from Georgetown University.”

    Wonder what the ex-Mrs. Brooks and mother of his three children thinks about Miss Snyder’s “moral formation.”

    • John Thorstensen

      Wheaton College in Illinois is, if I recall, a fundamentalist Christian school. It was featured in a very interesting episode (the final one, I think) of a PBS series on evolution some years ago — a really nice piece entitled “What About God?”. The whole thing made me very glad that I get to teach science in a secular setting.

    • Slamtundra

      Oh my. You know, my ex-wife was (is) a super Jesus person. I put up with that shit for 10+ years – the decade long attempted conversion, the constant presence of other hypocritical Jesus people – and then she started fucking some other dude. But it’s cool because she told Jesus sorry. Me? The kids? Oh, well, fuck us, she’s got that Jesus love all up in her. So yeah, I bet the ex-Mrs. Brooks is just about as non-plussed with young Jesus girls and their morally formed vaginas as I at this point.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Oh yes, titter away, but many of us have been led astray by various vaginas in our day. Not all us being so led were men either. You know who you are.

  • NorthernSaber

    Thor almighty- he’s a little less than two years older than I am, but he looks well north of fitting in under the half-your-age-plus-seven-years line with that young lady. This has the faint wiff of scandal…

  • pstockholm

    Trophy wife or participation prize?

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    Ugh! I am 50 and my oldest child is 30 (31 soon); this is not okay! Does he have grown children who will now have a “step-mom” of the same age they are? I one time worked (briefly) with a couple and one of the issues they brought into therapy was that his “kids” did not respect her role as step-mom; the kids were only one and three years younger than her. Dad/husband could not understand why his kids were so angry at him.

    • Yahmo Bethere

      It may have helped if she understand that she doesn’t have a role with adults her age. Best to be friends with them.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I’m reminded of the divorce proceedings where the husband insisted that he and his special friend did not have any sort of physical relationship. When asked about the diamond bracelet he gave her, he claimed it was just the sort of gift friends give each other.

  • Alt-dog

    So his current wife was in diapers when he got engaged to his previous wife. David Vitter might have some thoughts on that matter.

  • kfreed

    Speaking of… I trust we’re all watching The Handmaids Tale on Hulu these days, yes?

  • mjs

    Aha ha.. oh my god! I have nothing to add to this sad tale..

  • Bee-Doo

    I’ll bet she’s helping him find the salad bar at Applebees

  • boredcatlady

    Cue snl skit Meet your Second Wife!

    https://youtu.be/MJEAGd1bQuc

    • Mike Steele

      A skit for which ‘LOL’ was coined

  • Mike Steele

    Dear David and Anne: Hopefully, one day all your (and my) dreams will come true, it’ll turn out there really is a god, and you’ll be struck down in flagrante delicto by the almighty lightning bolt of irony. Molotov!

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    I am a day late to this thread, but I am a giggle (with vagina!). HA! and further ha ha ha’s, perhaps hoo hoos, too.

    I have dabbled in May -December flings, yet have never added Jesus to the mix. Maybe it’s time for a threesome.

    Anyway, consenting adults, god bless ’em.

  • AncienReggie

    “challenged the superficiality of my thinking ” … Oh, Mr. Brooks, Mr. Brooks. Your bride may have been channeling the thousands of New York Times readers who were astounded, week after week after week for years now, that you were actually getting paid to reveal thought processes more shallow than a layer of thin paint.

    p.s. Unless Ms. Snyder just rolled out this service effective your next column, it ain’t working.

  • BScrivner

    Luke Ford was a porn blogger–he reported about the adult film industry. NOT a performer.

  • javadavis

    RE: video – a lot of stuff is better with John C Reilly in it. (ha ha)

  • Yahmo Bethere

    This is wonderful and confirms what I figured to be true. He got his d wet and has gone evangelical.

Previous article‘Justice’ Dept. Prosecutes Woman Who Thinks Jeff Sessions Is Funny Like A Clown. No, This Isn’t A Joke.
Next articleCity Of Flint Will Take Your House If You Don’t PAY UP For Your Delicious Poison Water