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Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who would like all Americans to send their children to the school of their choice as long as it makes a buck for someone, has been invited to give the commencement speech this year at Bethune-Cookman University, a historically black university in Daytona Beach, Florida. Yes, really. The invitation is almost certain to make history — in 50 years, it will be recognized as a brilliantly contrarian maneuver, remembered as an astonishing public relations disaster, or quietly airbrushed out of any still-extant paper copies of the yearbook and referred to cryptically as “the 2017 event.”

In an announcement that must perfectly capture the mood of students and faculty alike, the university explained how all this happened:

Much like Dr. Bethune, Founder of Bethune-Cookman University, Secretary DeVos deems the importance of opportunity and hope for students to receive an exceptional education experience. Her mission to empower parents and students resonates with the history and legacy of Dr. Bethune. B-CU President, Dr. Edison O. Jackson expressed, “Bethune-Cookman University is a school built on the legacy and the transformation of students. Dr. Bethune’s love for students started with five little girls and grew to over 250 students during her time as university president.” “The legacy of Dr. Bethune is that she was not constrained by political ideology, but worked across all parties to support B-CU,” he explained.

Yr Wonkette has been unable to determine whether the campus health clinic was immediately flooded with students and faculty members seeking treatment of pounding headaches.

As you no doubt recall, DeVos closed out Black History Month with a bizarre February 27 press release praising historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) for the awesome job they did of providing school choice during the Jim Crow era, which rather missed the point that they were founded not out of a commitment to providing “more options” for education, but because there were literally no other opportunities for most black people to get a college education. The release didn’t mention segregation at all, instead suggesting that somehow African-Americans excluded from higher education were only an untapped market segment the HBCUs wisely decided to serve:

They saw that the system wasn’t working, that there was an absence of opportunity, so they took it upon themselves to provide the solution.

It was all about providing “options,” just like DeVos wants to do!

Graduates of Bethune-Cookman took to the Tweeters to express their puzzlement at the apparent alternate universe by which their alma mater appeared to have been consumed:

A Change.org petition posted Monday after the announcement, calling for a reconsideration of the invitation, had by late afternoon surpassed its 4500-signature goal. Instead of calling for DeVos to be turned away altogether, the petition asked that a new commencement speaker be invited and that, in the name of “engagement and open communication,” Secretary DeVos instead be invited to some non-ceremonial event where the campus community could “welcome her to the table and have meaningful dialogue about stronger policies, the White House HBCU Initiative, and the importance and contributions of HBCUs.”

Fortunately, the university fixed everything with a Tweet explaining they’d never meant to say DeVos and the school’s founder were exactly alike:

For one thing, Mary McLeod Bethune, who according to the school’s “About” page, “opened the Daytona Literary and Industrial Training School for Negro Girls with $1.50, faith in God and five little girls,” probably never spent millions of dollars lobbying to undermine public schools, or similar amounts in campaign donations to get herself appointed to a cabinet post. So we’d guess there’s a heck of a lot of bridges — over really wide gaps — that Secretary DeVos’s visit will have the chance to build.

Also it is your open thread.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader contributions, and we will never ask Betsy DeVos to write a guest post. Please click the “Donate” clicky and give generously!

[HuffPo / Bethune-Cookman University]

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  • JMP

    I’m sure there’s already idiots screaming that asking the school to reconsider forcing their graduates to listen to a speech from this anti-education extremist is somehow a violation of her freedom of speech, because they don’t know how the first amendment works.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Or racism

      Or ignorance

  • memzilla Ω

    Let me guess: Betsy DeVos wants to start up Black Amway?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Entitled billionaire white lady who openly advocates for charter schools to keep “those people” away from “our people” goes to speak at an HBCU. What could possibly go wrong?

    • efoveks

      In this case “those people” might be the well-educated and “our people” might be the more-money-than -good-sense crowd.

  • memzilla Ω

    … [that] Secretary DeVos instead be invited to some non-ceremonial event where the campus community could “welcome her to the table…”

    Secretary DeVos was assured that the table would be separate, but equal.

  • marxalot

    There’s a couple words missing from that first quoted sentence. “Deems” takes an object. “Deems” “the importance of opportunity” what, Drunk College Announcement Writer?

    • doktorzoom

      Deems are going to get more votes than Reeps in 2018?

      • weejee

        Hoping the GOP Reeps what it sows.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          rips what it sews?…

    • notaten

      Oh thank you! I thought I was maybe already too drunk to understand what was trying to be communicated here. It’s not just me! Winning!!!

  • Ezio

    “It was wonderful that your founders created this institution on their own choice.” -Betsy DeVos

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Someone gave Future Mr. Cats’s friend free tickets to the “Welcome to Night Vale” live show I wanted to go to. You may recognize Welcome to Night Vale as one of my favorite things. I’m going to sulk for a week.

    • Thiazin Red

      That sucks.

  • Contemplative Ron

    Blargh… is today over yet? (No, it is not, I still have to do a fitting. I hate fittings. And this one will run late.)

  • TJ Barke

    *Racist permanent classist aristocracy advocate.

  • Ezio

    “HBCUs are proof that immigrants can come to America and do anything they set their minds to”. -Betsy DeVos

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Why do I have the feeling that this decision was made by white people on some kind of church council rather than by the school’s leadership?

  • Thiazin Red

    I’ve been binge watching Tabletop on Youtube, and now I really want to buy a bunch of board games and play them with Will Wheaton and his friends. Or with people I know.

    • Contemplative Ron

      It’s a pleasant way of spending time, as long as nobody takes them too seriously. I recommend simple games like Mouse Trap. Anyone who can take Mouse Trap seriously needs therapy.

      • Thiazin Red

        Fuck that game! It never worked once.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Okay, how do you feel about Ker-Plunk?

      • doktorzoom

        When I was a kid, I never knew anyone who did the “game playing” part of Mousetrap — just putting the thing together and making it roll was the point.

        • Contemplative Ron

          There’s game playing in it?

          • doktorzoom

            I seem to remember there being a die…and cards, maybe?

    • Courser_Resistance

      I do that with my friends. I’m going to miss the Game Day this Saturday, but there will be others.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      If that’s your bag, I’d also suggest the podcast Harmontown. It’s basically the guy who made Rick and Morty and Community playing D&D with a rotating cast of improv comedians.

      • Thiazin Red

        I watched the video series Harmon Quest, and it was really funny. My previous campaign was pretty much on that level of being total fuckups.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Best part is every given episode ends with a 10-minute freestyle rap battle on the subject of yo’ mamma.

          • Thiazin Red

            I’ll have to check out the podcast.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’ve been binge-watching Mock The Week (BBC) on Youtube. We could never do a show this good in America. Not because we don’t have the comics, but because the Powers What Am would hand it to Bill Maher or Chelsea Handler or something.

  • mrFawkes

    Devos better bring extra security, this is the time of year when Florida black bears emerge from hibernation.

  • jesterpunk

    The bar for Trump and his staff is so low a Tardigrade can walk over it.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Ezio

    If anyone ever asks you “where is the proof of white privilege?” Just show them a picture of Donald Trump’s cabinet. You’ll never find a better example of upper crust white people who got so high up in the world and have achieved so little.

  • weejee

    And tRump wants the GOP to show their mettle and shut it down in the fall. Good luck with that.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d6f1039b6542cbef335c31ffce0390281dd3ac3eabc2f32cfe2c12ff5c9db01.png
    / checks the price on popcorn futures

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Two things:
    First, if I were a struggling college student who’d worked my ass off for four years to get a degree and the keynote speaker at my commencement was an entitled rich white ignoramus, I’d fill the place with pistol smoke (figuratively). You’d be able to hear me screeching on Mars.
    Second, that first tweet is riddled with terrible sentence deficiencies. Does no one speak English anymore? Are there no proofreaders? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/51016f4c868408e5fb5108b438d123a9b2d388df96f72fbaa186f6e868c75488.jpg

    • doktorzoom

      The least articulate at any school are shunted off into administration where it’s presumed they’ll do little harm. Then they go and mail a commencement speaker invite to DeVos…

    • Amy!

      He forgot to put an apostrophe after “Pedants”.

  • not_vh

    can i say fuck her, the densist she’s insured to, and her fake smile, all in single breath? all in one sentence? ‘coz aint nobody in real america with that level of privilege. just sayin’.

    • not_vh

      not to mention her uneducated exuberance of the life in these states -just saying.

  • Crystalclear12

    Don’t know what to say.
    I’ll check back after this goes horribly wrong.
    I’m better at aftermath snark.

  • BJW

    All I can say, is, WTF??

  • Beowoof14

    Well someone wasn’t thinking when they sent that invite out. I mean might as well invite Steve Bannon,.

  • Jenny

    Gah just let her speak and watch her make a fool of herself. Hell Hitlery gave a commencement speech that made their speaker look like shit. Why does that have to change now?

  • unrelatedwaffle

    If the entire student body doesn’t turn their backs on her during her shitty little speech my name isn’t Bartholomew J. Simpson.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot….but Today’s Profile in Courage: Sean “Babble” Spicer

    https://twitter.com/American_Bridge/status/859475987389710336

    “Run Forrest, Run!”

    • Crystalclear12

      I really thought it would take him longer to break.

      • puredog

        Really? I’m impressed he’s stuck it out this long. The Forrest Gump reference may prove only too accurate, as Spicey is probably still running, won’t stop till he reaches the Golden Gate.

  • weejee
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is that a beer commercial? It looks like it should say, at the bottom in large letters: It’s in the water.

  • tinker12
    • Nockular cavity

      Well, you know, rich people don’t have to know shit.

    • not_vh

      bweebs no where near expected latitudinal ordinates of brains. not in the case of this particular wimmens. end-to-end bweeb /dick this be an example of.

    • efoveks

      By c-word I suppose you are referring to the War on Christmas?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        christianist

        • efoveks

          👻 LOL

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Who’s that criminal she’s with, again?…

    • capnkrunch

      Cuck?

      • tinker12

        Sure.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, that is certainly an…interesting…way of ensuring coverage of your commencement ceremony.

  • Chadwells

    Bye bye time and a half. I hate all these fuckers so hard it hurts.

    “Republicans Have A Plan To Loosen Overtime Protections”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/overtime-pay_us_5908e15ee4b0bb2d08729636?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yeah, but how long will Secret Service agents block bullets without a paycheck, or will Vlad Vlad pick up the tab?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, Karen…you and hubbo need to talk.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/859522897152495617

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Sure, because when an ethnic group has a strong preference for one party’s platform over the other it is EXACTLY the same thing as slavery!!!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e3f8bf7ea6a6f894c393b8a4da2a4931076fe130cb59d9a8bbafb7dd984a464.gif

    • jesterpunk

      “Like many of us, he (Steve) made a mistake and retweeted something he didn’t
      pay a lot of attention to, thinking it was just an absentee vote message. It clearly was not appropriate and has been deleted,” a campaign spokesperson said.

      Wait what? Who doesnt read things they before sharing them? Especially when you are running for public office.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Except it wasn’t a retweet, it was a quote.

        • jesterpunk

          They are hoping their base doesnt notice that part.

          • BrianW

            Yep. Won’t know, and wouldn’t care if they did.

  • Bill Slider

    I guess I would choose her over Dr. Ben Carson for the commencement address.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      They could do a joint address about how pyramid schemes were designed to store grain.

      • Bill Slider

        Regardless of your actual gender, I love you.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ol’ Lullaby Ben might have caused quite a stir.

      http://static.snopes.com/app/uploads/2015/08/ben-carson-slavery.jpg

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        That seems almost too on-the-nose tone deaf, even for him. Got a linky?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Yeah, there would have been no Supremes, no Billie Holliday singing Strange Fruit, just hanging from trees in Africa, eatin’ grain out of the pyramids…

      • Miles Monroe

        Completely blows our minds that any public official, even black, could skate by with that “hanging from trees” reference, and definitely highlights the enabling complicity, way beyond mere hypocrisy, that got us to where we are now, and which is pulling out all the stops to keep us here, in a state of kakistocracy.

    • Christopher Story

      I’m actually having a hard time deciding which would be more insulting

    • jesterpunk

      Ben cant go, he is still looking for his luggage.

      https://youtu.be/zRuZ_LimXxU?t=40s

    • BosGrl

      The difference being, though, that although he’s an idiot now, he did do some good once. But yeah, I don’t anticipate his speech would be helpful to anyone.

  • MOG253

    For the 1000th time since January, oh my head.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Yo, Ferrettop. You do not deserve to be running for President, because….
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uQCJ6PzRdA

  • bupkus231

    WTF?

    After reading the whole thing, I have to say that the leadership of BCU has gone full “Florida Man”.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is probably too much to hope for, but I’m amused nevertheless:

    https://twitter.com/SheWhoVotes/status/859515397061713929

    • jesterpunk

      That might actually help him with his base, you know those idiot MRA morons who think he is an alpha male or something.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Perhaps, but remember that they are a minority. Enough people who stayed home because “I just don’t LIKE either one!!!” might be repulsed, however.

        EDIT: besides, I could use the comic relief.

    • Crystalclear12

      God be merciful and let there be no video tape.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    How long before they have to call it “strategic failure,” I wonder?

    https://twitter.com/tedlieu/status/859404549290962944

  • Joseph Stans

    The most important academic take-away is Betsy DeVos proves that a mammal with a head for full of air can still function at the business and political level required to fool a large portion of the electorate.

  • Mavenmaven

    There used to be a relational term for this kind of invite, something about an uncle…

  • Bill D. Burger

    After he appointed DeVos Sec. of Education, I waited with baited breath, expecting him to appoint El Chapo head of the DEA.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/620e9c1a7ca50fe83364b2303e0153795760a7fae78506bd65fb3a9d949f6590.png

    • theCryptofishist

      Seriously. America was great, in large part, because of quality public education. This stuff she’s pushing? Creepy authoritarian rule.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    She was tight with Roosevelt at a time when there was a lot of Jim Crow happening in what we now refer to as the “Guam” or “unenthusiastic” region of the country, but that’s about it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I want to get to a point in my life where I can just forget how many billions I have floating around, too.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’d be happy to share a billion with my fellow wonkers. Just saying.

        • puredog

          Bring it to the Portland drinkie and we can divvy it up there.

          • theCryptofishist

            Can I get a my travel expenses paid?

    • boyblue122

      Soros, eh? The Pepes will have a field day with that

      • schmannity

        JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ!!!!!!!!1!!!!!111!!$!!!!

        Alex Jones’ head is going to look like a watermelon at a Gallagher stand up.

        • boyblue122

          nice visual lol

    • Bill D. Burger

      IOKWYAR___ and Cheetolini’s son in law.

    • Suse

      Nobody cares and nothing will be done about it.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Perhaps, but it will reinforce the lesson that so many Americans need to learn: this is the most corrupt administration ever, and it’s barely into its fourth month FFS.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Ten or fifteen years from now The Rise and Fall of the Alt-Right will be a thousand pages long and a best seller.

        • Suse

          Maybe. I’m feeling very pessimistic. How much more evidence is needed, FFS?

          • theCryptofishist

            I think it’s less a matter of evidence and more a matter of world view. Face it, European cultures got fucked up 1500 years ago when they adopted christianity and its millenarianism. They think that on the other side of all this shit is a pony. Somehow, we have to change that narrative.
            No, I haven’t a clue how.

        • bupkus231

          “So many Americans” are incapable of learning this, since it would imply that they are moronic, know-nothings and they were played bigly. They’ll do anything to avoid that.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Some of them are leaving now. And the number of folks who should have voted for Hillary, but held back for Bernie, or because of Comey, are a bigger number of knuckleheads yet, many of whom can be shamed into voting next time….

        • theCryptofishist

          And February was a very short month!

          • marxalot

            And January hardly counted!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m sure Republican oversight committees will get right on that. After a secret briefing at the White House.

    • Bill D. Burger

      BTW: Does this mean he’s a paid protester?

      Sore-rossssss!’

    • bupkus231

      BFD – He’ll just be allowed to file an “amended statement” to his testimony, and nothing else will happen…;.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Again–this just adds more evidence to the “most corrupt administration” lesson Americans need to learn, stat. Drip, drip, drip…

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s a shame Breitbart and Prisonplanet will never cover this story, their odious commenters would find it really interesting.
      rotfl

      • jesterpunk

        Dead Breitbart is covering the story though. The comments are about globalists and liberal.

        https://archive.fo/h0VIe

        • OrG

          How deep does the Liberal conspiracy go????

          • jesterpunk

            Its liberals all the way down, we are simultaneously lazy and all on welfare and rich and control the entire planet.

          • Sophia

            Damn we’re good

      • h4rr4r

        odoriferous, I think you meant.

    • TJ Barke

      Can you say “most corrupt admin in American history”?

      • vivian

        Donal Dunce: Teapot Dome you say? Hold my caviar…

    • Doug Langley

      “I forgot.”

    • puredog

      “So I’ve got all eight of my $1B loans down on here. That’s all of them, uh, right?”

      He got bad advice is all.

  • Jgb979

    Honest question:

    Does Betsy Devos know how to read and write?

  • Tishalicious
    • BosGrl

      Buying that for my daughter. The shirts unfortunately are the only good things left on Woot. Everything else you can just buy on Amazon.

      • h4rr4r

        Sometimes the prices are really great though.

        We got my mother in law a 8.9″ tablet for $50, that has LTE since she does not have internet service. This way she can see my son.

        Have you seen meh.com? Same folks who created woot.

        • BosGrl

          I have not. Thanks!

  • jesterpunk

    Is today over yet? I have a headache from some idiot chewing in my ear when I was on the phone with him at work. I still have 2 hours left in work too.

    • BosGrl

      I hate hearing people chew. That stupid Kit Kat commercial gives me the willies.

      • jesterpunk

        Same here, and the food commercials where they are talking while they are eating just really annoys me. It really sucks when its on a call for work because I cant say anything about it.

        • theCryptofishist

          Excuse me, I can’t understand what you’re saying. There’s some sort of crackle on the line. Can you repeat that?

      • Rasilom

        I actually called them and complained. I honestly have not been able to eat one since that run of adds hit the tv.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • puredog

      Well, it is true that though she spoke the words “I take responsibility,” she did not identify any errors in the way she ran her campaign. I hasten to add that I believe she should have won and but for outside forces would have. I also think that if she had run a better campaign it would not have been close enough to lose.

  • Isaac Heston

    “The true worth of a race must be measured by the character of its womanhood.” – Mary McLeod Bethune

    I don’t know what that says about Betsy DeVos or whose interest she represents, but I’d back slowly away. If you ever want to see what a cult looks like, spend a weekend at an Amway convention.

    • proudgrampa

      Or any Multi-Level-Marketing conference…

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus Fucking Christ.

    I know, that is about all I’ve been able to muster today. Every goddam time I turn on the TV or read my Wonkette, it’s about Drumpf or one of his goddam minions. I am tired of this crap and I just haven’t been able to deal with it today.

    I’m sorry. I will try to do better tomorrow.

    Love to you all.

    Here’s a really nice cover of Townes Van Zandt’s Snowin on Raton:

    https://youtu.be/slhpE0bk_n4

    • Suse

      Take care, PG, and thanks for the song.

      • proudgrampa

        Thanks, Suse.

        Part of my problem is that proudgramma is on a business trip and I really miss her.

        I need to grow up, I guess.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Argh! Ms.MLG leaves tonight. I’m missing her already.

          Tho me and the boys are sorta looking forward to baching it…

        • vivian

          Why, exactly?

          • proudgrampa

            UH. I got nuthin’.

  • Tiny kaiju

    I’ve been trying to catch up on the last week in Wonkette and every single post has caused me to exclaim “Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick! What the flaming fuck is happening and why isn’t someone stopping it?” Then I wander around muttering “DOOOOOOM.”

    • Crystalclear12

      Common problem. Consume the tequila BEFORE you start reading

      • Jennifer R

        Tequila just makes me slutty.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          All righty then…

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          Don’t give away the plot twist.

        • proudgrampa

          Hmmmm. Tell me more….

        • theCryptofishist

          So, wait, you’re saying that the republicans are putting you in the double bind of forcing you to be slutty to cope with their bullshit, but once you’re slutty, you are beyond the pale, don’t deserve healthcare, and should probably be hauled off to some sort of prison?
          That’s some catch…

        • vivian

          NOW you tell me. Sheesh.

      • Puck

        This does not appear to help the rage issue. At. All. lol

        • Crystalclear12

          But now when you throw the bottle you won’t spill the tequila.

    • proudgrampa

      I know how you feel…

    • Puck

      I tend to go between “What the actual fuck?!?” and “This fuckin guy…” depending on the article.

    • Miles Monroe

      Miss a day, and you miss a lot!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I have been picking my battles. Sanity is too important.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If one of these congress critters is yours, TURN UP THE HEAT!

    https://twitter.com/riotwomennn/status/859433519935868929

    • Greyhame

      Seriously, can we put a stake through the heart of this thing already?

      • Rasilom

        A burned tRump steak with lots of ketchup…

    • vivian

      Sent my congresscritter a letter. Please do the same if
      they’re on the list. Thanks to all.

  • Chadwells

    These evil fucks have had a busy day.

    “White House Leaning Toward Exiting Paris Agreement By Next Week, Sources Say”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paris-agreement_us_5908f524e4b05c397683d404?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Leaving you good Wonkers for now on this note:

    https://twitter.com/tonyposnanski/status/859510515772665858

    • RobKanC

      But the emails….

  • Sheepshagger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Heh! I’m behind. I had forgotten.

    [FBI DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY, NSA DIRECTOR MICHAEL ROGERS TO TESTIFY MAY 4 ON RUSSIA
    BY MAX KUTNER ON 5/2/17 AT 1:43 PM

    FBI Director James Comey and National Security Agency Director Admiral Michael Rogers will testify again before lawmakers on Thursday about Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, according to a congressional aide.

    Thursday’s House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence hearing will be the first since March 20, when Comey testified that the FBI is investigating Russia’s tampering with the presidential election and possible collusion with associates of President Donald Trump. The hearing will also be the first since Representative Devin Nunes, chairman of the committee, recused himself from the Russia probe after the House Committee on Ethics said it was investigating accusations against him.]

    http://www.newsweek.com/fbi-comey-nsa-rogers-house-intelligence-committee-russia-593268

    • Claire

      I hope Maxine Waters takes her shoe to that treasonous dickleech.

  • Suse

    A physician friend of mine had this to say about Drumpf’s crazy comments in the past few days over on Raw Story.

    “No, he’s not GOING crazy. He became a malignant narcissist long, long ago. What you’re seeing now is called narcissistic decompensation. This happens when a narcissist becomes overwhelmed and so confronted by reality that he has trouble maintaining his narcissistic facade and/or getting the narcissistic supply (adulation, attention, etc.) he needs to maintain his (albeit already crazy) equilibrium. This decompensation we’re now witnessing with Trump was predicted many months ago by quite a few of us in the medical and psych professions.

    It’s easy to jump to the conclusion that this must be a sign Trump is suffering from dementia or some fairly recent neurological condition, and there IS some overlap between dementia and a decompensated narcissist’s patterns of behavior. However, one must remember and take into consideration that Trump has done this before, several times over the decades, including long before he would be viewed by the public as suffering dementia because of age. This is NOT new for him.

    Still, that said, he absolutely should be examined by a competent physician, and that exam should include a battery of neuropsych tests. While decompensated malignant narcissism is fully capable of explaining what we’re seeing and most likely to account for it, it is possible he could have some concomitant early dementia or other health problem making matters worse.”

    • georgiaburning

      Sorry, at first I read “decompensating” as “decomposing”

      • BosGrl

        That too.

      • FlownΩver

        Your lips to FSM’s auditory appendages.

      • Kakkeltje

        wishful thinking?

    • proudgrampa

      Aaaaaaargh!!!!!!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Hey brah! When you coming back to da island?

        • proudgrampa

          Man, not soon enough!

          proudgramma and I were thinking sometime after Labor Day, but that is subject to change…

          So how are you? Any complaints?

          • Jonny On Maui

            None at all! The sun returned.

          • proudgrampa

            Nice! Sun is good!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Some NPDs wander away from the mess they made and hope everyone will forget. Others double down, refuse to budge, and perpetually make excuses for their mistakes, making themselves look more and more foolish as the years go by.
      Most are smart enough not to put themselves in a position(POTUS) where they can’t control as many variables as possible. That right there is the one symptom that might be a sign his mind is beginning to go.
      The rest, yeh is just text book NPD.

    • Sheepshagger

      Something I see fairly often is people coming into court to give false evidence- always very confident, usually fairly accustomed to lying and being able to get away with it, either by brazenness, threat or both. When a skilled cross examiner begins to methodically disassemble their lies and hold the components up to the light for all to see it’s not very pleasant for them. They can’t leave and they can’t front it out and eventually they are left quivering in the box trying desperately to justify the plainly ludicrous. You can see them crumble, and the worst part for them is that they are pinned there like a butterfly on a display paper. Trump is starting to feel that way to me.

      • puredog

        That’s what he looked like in the John Dickerson interview yesterday. Coupled with his failure to look Dickerson in the face as he pontificated, which just looked bizarre.

    • goonemeritus

      He should probably cut back on eating the lead based paint chips as well.

      • FlownΩver

        Cut back? Hell, double up!

  • Bill D. Burger

    The more I see Rep. Swalwell of CA, the more I like him.

    Rep. Swalwell to Prez Cheeto in response to Trump’s statement that we “…need a government shutdown.”:

    https://twitter.com/RepSwalwell/status/859395434439221252

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83989a3dac6d3b126c21879b13af2784d25b255c3e386512cf688f191de6f14f.gif

    • catnmus

      He is my congresscritter and I love him so much. It’s awesome to go to a townhall and it’s almost entirely applause.

  • hendenburg2

    So I’m sure you guys have all heard about the shooting in San Diego over the weekend.

    Well, my coworker lives in the building where it happened.
    Not only that, he was home at the time.
    Not only that, he’s on the ground floor.
    Not only that, the patio of his unit faces the pool where it happened.
    He literally saw the police kill the shooter.

    While his parents were visiting from India.

    Welcome to America, indeed.

    For bonus points: My boss’s son was at the Isla Vista shooting.

    • RobKanC

      was it a white guy? mental health problems man..

    • TJ Barke

      You get 200 bonus ‘Merica! points. Or something. I dunno, this dark humor stuff is really starting to get burdensome.

      • theCryptofishist

        Well, the dark humor helps you continue when things are bleak, and you are helpless, or perceive yourself as such. The burden is when you see beyond the protective veil the humor provides, and realize, once again, how much it sucks. (Or that it sucks, muchly.) Congratulations, you’re human.
        *offers hug*

      • hendenburg2

        The crazy thing is he’s acting like nothing happened. Only mentioned it casually. When he came in yesterday, I never would have been able to guess that he saw 2 people killed and 7 injured.

        • theCryptofishist

          Shock, I’d guess.

    • Sheepshagger

      When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. In America you get a front row seat.

      • hendenburg2

        I fucking hate the splash zone

        • Jon Sussex

          That’s how I feel about the restrooms at the office.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Wear shoes.

      • ContextIsKey

        If you live in Florida you’re on the stage.

    • Doug Langley

      Well, he did make a video of it, right? What – he didn’t? Damn, he could have been a millionaire!

      • hendenburg2

        someone else did, apparently

        • Doug Langley

          Don’t you just love the capitalistic system?

  • Paperless Tiger

    The last thing the oligarchs did was take over the government. After that, it was history. The Age of Statesmanship had begun. Now we’re in regression of a millennium or two. How did this happen? Oh well, maybe they’ll build a monument for the emperor. The Great Wall. Watch out for Genghis Khan though. It didn’t stop him.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Or the Nazis either

  • theCryptofishist

    And the great national facepalm continues.

  • marxalot

    You guys omg, TLM is back!!!
    Portnoy in a Park Ranger hat, we got ourselves a live one!

    • jesterpunk

      He is gone already.

      • marxalot

        Nope, he’s hopping. Oh, this should be fun.

        • jesterpunk

          They keep deleting his comments before I can reply.

    • RobKanC

      You mean the guy who is triggered by other people having a private moment.. What a special snowflake that one is..

    • hendenburg2

      “portnoy in a park ranger hat”? Where did THAT come from?

      • marxalot

        Old Bloom County strip(s) where Portnoy is in fact, a Park Ranger. I used to post a pic of him yelling not to piddle on the bears when we had a troll in the thread, but I don’t have it anymore..

        • hendenburg2

          oh, for some reason I was thinking of Mike Portnoy, former drummer for Dream Theater

      • Doug Langley

        What’s wrong? You have a Portnoy’s Complaint?

    • OrG

      Already been banhammered.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Dammit and I was typing this:

        “It’s so sad to see internalized homophobic closet cases. There is help out there, friend. And I say this because, yes, I care.
        <3 "
        and I get

        "You cannot reply to a post that is not active."

        Oh well. I'll save it for the next homophbic troll…

        • SisterArtemis

          You did right in sharing your thoughts with US though!

    • Sheepshagger

      Didn’t Portnoy fuck a liver?

      • proudgrampa

        Indeed. His family’s dinner…

    • The Wanderer

      Aw, Christ on a barstool, TLM was here and got the Loving Correction already?

      • Doug Langley

        Dok has become a Ninja master.

  • marxalot

    Doc, leave TLM up long enough for us to poke him, pretty please! I wanna tell him all about my collection of Dwarf/Divine pics and my flavored lube collection.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      People could provide him comprehensive sex education for years and he still wouldn’t understand how body parts work.

    • Isaac Heston

      Normal, healthy people just have gay sex, not write fanfiction about it.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Normal, healthy fan fiction writers post it to the appropriate websites and put actual time and effort into their work.

        • marxalot

          And mind their grammar and punctuation, and add helpful tags for improved discoverability/filtering.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Which usually doesn’t include anything about “turgid love muscles”.

            At least not in the well written stuff…

            Also too, the penis is not a muscle.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            When I was teaching my young son about the skeleton, he was maybe 5 years old, he looked at me and said, “my penis has a bone in it!” no, honey, it doesn’t, I replied. He was pensive for a few moments then declared, “sometimes it does!”

            From the mouths of babes ….

          • C4TWOMAN

            Kids are great.

  • Jamoche
  • Chadwells

    This is another asshole who needs [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] upside his fucking head.

    “Issa: ObamaCare repeal position ‘none of your business'”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/house/331647-issa-obamacare-repeal-position-none-of-your-business

    • proudgrampa

      “RULES FOR COMMENTING RADICALS!!!!!!!” with a “RULES FOR COMMENTING RADICALS!!!!!!!”.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey Issa dont you have a car to steal or something?

      http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/martin-bashir-reminds-viewers-darrell-issas

      • CripesAmighty1

        Too late. He set it on fire and collected the insurance.

    • TJ Barke

      “Representative government” UR DOIN IT RONG!

      • Lord Jim

        It’s all a question of WHO you represent…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I can’t open thread. I’m too busy getting shit faced and drunk tweeting Drumpf after watching the Hillary interview.

    • snark-lurker

      shit faced AND drunk? oh my

      • Isaac Heston

        There is a hideous two girls one cup joke in there.

        • snark-lurker

          and now you not gonna tell it?
          YOU WEAR PANTS [AND] EAT CANNED CLAMS!

    • SisterArtemis

      you could at least screen shot some of it for us who aren’t able to be shitfaced yet.

  • Doug Langley

    Update on job hunting:

    Last Wed recruiter told me they liked me and wanted second interview. He would notify me Mon at the latest. Waited through Thurs. No call. Waited through Fri. No call. Waited . . . through . . . Mon. No call. I emailed asking politely if they had spoken to him. He replied no, he would stay on them, they were probably busy, etc. Today. Waited through Tues. No . . . call . . .

    AAAUUUURRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    • Sheepshagger

      Joseph K?

    • proudgrampa

      I feel your pain…

      • Doug Langley

        You’re writhing on the floor too?

        • proudgrampa

          Today, yeah…

    • Red Bird Ω

      :(

    • thewalkindude

      Yup-application submitted over a week ago, have heard nothing, not even acknowledging they received it…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They suck.

  • C4TWOMAN
    • h4rr4r

      I thought NAZIs and Soviets did not get along?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Well, we thought Cold Warriors would never let Russians hack and undermine the presidency and that ship sailed, so we’re in uncharted territory here….

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, I are still confuzed about that.

      • theCryptofishist

        No, no, pre-Barbarossa they were best buds. With an option to betray. It’s very complicated, a love/hate relationship.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Hey Y’all. I’m not as angry today. I do have to wonder how any of you would deal with being openly hated and slurred, every day, in both Meatspace and every site you post on.

    I went to Target, window shopping, and I found out I do indeed fit in Size 8 skinny jeans. They are holding a pair until my Payday tomorrow. Size 18 to Size 8 in 24 months.

    An old man tried to pick me up at Target too.

    Watching A Bridge Too Far on STARZ right nows. “Gentleman, this is a story you’ll tell your Grandchildren – and *mightily* bored they’ll be!” XXX Corps Commanding Officer Brian Horrocks really did say that. :)

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      You are killing it.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Glad yer back…some folks were concerned yesterday that you’d left us for good…

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I thought I was gone for good, truthfully. But I’m tired of letting worthless assholes and haters win.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I, for one, look forward to you winning so much you end up overlord of America.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            They’ll be singing “Gawd Save us *from* the Queen” if that happens.

            Like the Queen of Hearts, Queen Anna Elizabeth commands “off with their heads!”

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
        • h4rr4r

          Don’t go, we would get bored.

        • snark-lurker

          you are tough–KNOW it! We got yer back so always forward & catch yourself! this will get better

        • FlownΩver

          More of us around here than there are of them. Hang in there with us.

      • snark-lurker

        every time she comes back, she is stronger

    • Crank Tango

      Once I was on a train in Europe and recognized a nearby bridge–sure enough, Arnhem.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It’s quite distinctive. I wonder, Frost’s Battalion held out for *days*. If even one more battalion had made it to the bridge, the war might have been over by Christmas.

        • Crank Tango

          Or if they’d have given the gas to Patton instead of Monty…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            *nods* Third Army could have rolled hot. I guess Ike felt the gamble worth taking, but the road they chose to drive XXX Corps up was insane.

    • snark-lurker

      r.e. the hate & slurs: Never let’em see you sweat & Never let’em see you cry—it’ll drive’em into the darkest places of the id

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I never do in Meatspace. I’m always Miz Cool Cucumber. I think that’s why I get so fucking angry when people I hoped were my friends are fucking brain-dead haters.

        • OrG

          I have no authority here, but as far as I’m concerned that kind of shit will not be tolerated here.

          • theCryptofishist

            There’s the authority that the “Kings” have. And then there’s the collective authority that the wonketariat have. What we have is more like Emily Post and less like security guards. [1]
            [1] Sorry, Rebecca, Doc, Evan, Robyn, Shy and others. It was the best analogy I could find, but it doesn’t really describe who you are, just what kind of power banhammering is.

        • snark-lurker

          even brain-dead peeps have bad days & if you thought/hoped some were your friends, well, if you were wrong about them once… “We hurt the ones we love the most.” Maybe they just fucked up & maybe not, but stay chill yourself.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Never give them the satisfaction.

    • The Wanderer

      Welcome back!

    • jesterpunk

      Welcome back Anna.

    • cheetojeebus

      Nice work on the fitness regime! That’s an impressive change for the better! Good for you.

    • C4TWOMAN

      We are extremely sheltered here in BlueStatetopia. I’ve had a total of 3 rando’s try something since the election, all ending embarrassingly for the randos in question(1 Trumpster, 1 suspected racist, 1 suspected MRA), so it’s pretty quiet.
      That doesn’t count the street protests which are their own drama. Even my gay friends aren’t reporting anything except FB nastiness.
      So, yeah, it’s a bubble. No complaints.
      Wishing everyone else a boring time as well…it’s a GOOD thing.

      • h4rr4r

        This must be why I am always confused at this. I can’t even imagine someone doing something like that in public.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Good on you. I can’t fit into size 8 skinny jeans, but then I has an African-American butt. That kind of weight loss is impressive.
      Also too. I missed jumping on that ass yesterday in your presence bythatmuch. Please don’t leave again. Stay and let’s make the other person leave. This should be a safe space for you, my dear.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        They are low rise too, I was so thrilled when they buttoned. One of the ladies that works at Target likes to chat, and when she asked me “Anything exciting?” I gushed out about being down to Size 8. Two years of walking and eating better and not being so depressed.

        And thank you.

        • SadDemInTex

          8 or 18 you are awesome

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ Thank you :)

    • theCryptofishist

      Good to see you. I didn’t see what happened yesterday morning, but someone didn’t comment, that’s what happened, I had the asshole on ignore. (Warning, some paraphrasing may have occurred.) That got me thinking, maybe we need some sort of safe word or bat signal, so people who can’t see the jerks can know what’s happening and take action…
      Anyway, very good to see you. You do liven up this place, and it’s nice to see you spread your wings after the painful cocoon you’ve referenced.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Size 8! That’s wonderful. And it’s good to see you back.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I can’t begin to imagine how I’d deal with being openly hated and slurred on a daily basis (I would probably run and hide cuz am a cowardly mule).

      Though my compassion and empathy for those who are is why I’m a damn liberal. (I do make exceptions for Nazis and Trump supporters, no sympathy, I simply fucking hate them.)

      Congrats on the size 8!!

      • sw19wilson

        R-Amen to that.

    • Meccalopolis

      Glad you’re back. You were missed

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      You are openly loved and admired also too, at least on wonket. Is there a name for the opposite of cyberbullying?

      I read Cornelius Ryan book and saw the movie twice. I don’t remember that detail. But I remember the hubris of Montgomery pushing the attack directly into German combat division. And how, as the saying goes, the plan was the first casualty.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. :)

        Yeah, they willfully disregarded the intelligence that showed two SS Panzer Divisions in the Arnhem area. I did see an analysis once, that if the American 82nd Airborne had moved faster taking the Eindhoven Bridge, XXX Corps could have been to Arnhem 24 hours earlier. I haven’t seen enough data to quantify that yet. I have Ryan’s book, too, I’d like to see if there is any newer research out about Market-Garden.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Old men don’t have a chance at picking you up? I haz a sad. :-)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD *This* old man didn’t. He was sweet though. I’m not sure a 70-year-old could handle me, anyhow.

    • SisterArtemis

      Glad you are back in the conversation, Anna. Put those fuckers on block and they won’t bother you no more. They can aim the hate at you, but you won’t know about it unless the rest of the crowd piles on (which they probably will).

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I don’t know how *I* could. Probably not well, though, because I know my own flaws enough.
      All I know is the we have to push back against the ones who do not make this an inclusive place. Some people are stuck on stupid. Some don’t understand that punching down like that hurts others who don’t deserve it. We can maybe correct the latter. The former are hopeless.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you Spotts. It was a “funny” meme posted by some other person I was reacting to, and the one that replied with slurs, and the one that upvoted him made me feel I might as well be posting on Stormfront.

    • SeeTrain65

      Glad you’re back. Blarney missed you.

      (So did I.)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you :) I missed all of Y’all as well.

        It’s just hard, I face prejudice every day in Meatspace, and I don’t post anywhere on the ‘net but here. I just have to remember, I live a life at war, and there is no safety anywhere. Just like growing up with my abusive family.

        • SeeTrain65

          You’d be so proud of Blarney. So awesome after you left this last time. I think one comment was, “Thanks for running off my friend, asshole.” And it got even better from there. Make sure you say hello if she shows up tonight so he knows you’re doing all right.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            We talk by eMail, Blarney and I. He is a great guy and a true friend.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I am so glad that you decided to come back. I should’ve screamed and yelled at that person. Don’t know if he was ignorant or just an ass. People should understand that term is hurtful.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I guess stupid cannot be fixed. It’s hardly the first time I’ve had that word used in my presence, and every person that used it was hatefilled and stupid.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          As my 20 something year old kid says with that edge in her voice: “Let’s not talk about it”.

    • SisterArtemis

      Glad to find you posting today, Anna. Was going to fire off a short email to check in, but group hugs are even better!

      Please don’t go away, stay and fight for yourself and all of us who know better than to trash people for who they are. And when the fighting’s over, get back in the Wonkette groove of snark-n-play. We’d miss you terribly.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Thank you. It was triggering, when you think you’re in a safe place, and you get the same response as Breitbart or Stormfront would offer….

        I just have to remember I am always at war.

        • SisterArtemis

          I tried to write my deeper thought in response to this, and it was very fumbly, but part of it was that women are always at war, because our gender is always under pressure to be a certain way, a certain look, a certain role; it’s hard to just be yourself, and worse I am sure for trans women, who get it from about a thousand additional sides. And sometimes that war is waged with insults, and other times with violence, but it’s standing strong in the face of assault either way. It takes a lot to keep standing, sometimes.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you, and you’re right :)

    • Lord Jim

      I’m very glad you’re back. I probably wouldn’t have made it through your circumstances with any sanity or dignity intact.

      I weep sometimes for a world where good folks still have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous assholes.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Thanx Jim. I get so tired at times. I ask myself why I keep fighting sometimes, too. I had a couple months of mostly peace in 2016, the entire rest of my life on this planet has been facing abuse and prejudice and hate.

        • Lord Jim

          ((hugs)) I consider myself a better person for having known you.

    • LucindathePook

      Glad you’re back Anna, and BTW, I had a dream where I met you and you had a very successful line of clothing and cosmetics called Anna Elizabeth with a bright red script logo. And also edited to add I HATE you for wearing a size 8 when I am not. ;-)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        OOOh, that would be fun! :D Sometimes I get ladies asking for personal shopping advice in stores.

        And thank you. :)

    • SpideySenser

      Congrats, losing weight is a bitch.

  • Bozilingus
  • C4TWOMAN
    • Bozilingus

      Skin heads,
      Skin heads,
      Roly poly skin heads,

      Skin heads,
      Skin heads,
      Beat them up, yum.
      https://youtu.be/cn73Wtem0No?t=135

      • C4TWOMAN

        OMG when I tell some people about that song, they don’t believe it’s real lol.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I am so fortunate to have grown up on Dr. Demento, Monty Python and Firesign. It’s why I’m still relatively sane.

          • thixotropic jerk

            Relatively = relative (except isn’t it our relatives that make us most insane?)

          • Bozilingus

            Are you me? How can I be in 2 places at once?

        • sw19wilson

          That song came up on my playlist yesterday!

        • SeeTrain65

          It’ll probably blow their minds when you tell them one of the people who wrote and performed this song also played Will Robinson on “Lost In Space.”

      • VirginiaLady

        Saw that one night when I was stoned and 18ish. That was the first verifiable case of ROFLMAO ever recorded. Showed this to my daughter around 10 years ago. Same reaction. It’s nice to know somethings will never lose their WTF appeal when seen for the first time.

    • Meccalopolis

      Fuque non!

      Clochard saloup

  • vivian

    Today’s Profile in Courage Award goes to Sean Spicer for ditching the press corps without taking any questions at today’s briefing. Good work SS!

  • Me The People

    Trying to print a couple of half decent t shirts on this machine tonight, before it is returned to the fires of Mount Doom, from whence it came. Not going well so far, maybe next one will be lucky.

  • vivian

    When did “Heckuva job, Brownie” become our official governing policy? Watching these wealthy but clueless people play government is more than we should bear.

    • jesterpunk

      I think we passed that and are now at “hold my beer”.

      • vivian

        …or “hold my flute of champagne”

        • jesterpunk

          You need to provide after dinner entertainment somehow.

          • vivian

            It’s bombs all the way down….

  • Red Bird Ω

    Why?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Because.

      • vivian

        Why not?

        • Nounverb911

          Be that way.

          • vivian

            Hey, if it’s good enough for Joan Didion, it’s good enough for me

      • The Wanderer

        I don’t know.

        • Nounverb911

          He’s on third, Who’s on first?

        • Red Bird Ω

          I don’t either. The last thing black students in Florida (a very racist state) need is to be lectured by a faux-Christian who can’t admit how racist she is.

          • h4rr4r

            Well, do they need any overpriced detergent?

        • SeeTrain65

          “He’s on third, we’re not talking about him.”

      • SeeTrain65

        “He’s center field.”

        (My Abbott and Costello CD comes in handy at times.)

        • C4TWOMAN

          Who’s on First?

          • SeeTrain65

            “Yes.”

    • C4TWOMAN

      Why not?

      • vivian

        jinx!

        • C4TWOMAN

          Ninja!

          • sw19wilson

            Biscuits!

  • boyblue122

    If I attended this college and Devos wound up speaking there, id just grab my diploma the next day instead of showing up to this thing

    • vivian

      “What if they held a graduation and nobody came?” I like it.

    • Meccalopolis

      So would I but that really sucks for those kids

  • Meccalopolis

    Have you heard about the sellout?

    https://youtu.be/KUDpc04r_QM

    • Puck

      Idk why but that song has been running thru my head the past couple days.

  • Chadwells

    When you have to say it….you aren’t. Just like Fuckface running his mouth saying how smart and tough he is…he isn’t.

    “Analysis: Defensive White House Insists ‘We Are Competent’”

    http://www.rollcall.com/news/politics/analysis-competent-maybe-not-need-say

  • Nounverb911
    • RobKanC

      oh boy.. I cannot wait for mine.. I have been waiting for it practically forever now..

      • Vecchioivan

        I’ve already bought a boat.

        • RobKanC

          I am thinking about buying a cabin in Kansas. I figure in about a decade, it will be beachfront property..

          • Doug Langley
          • CripesAmighty1

            Baby needs a new pair o’ shoes (Okay, Alfa needs a valve job before end of autocross season–same diff…). Come on, George.

          • h4rr4r

            You autocross an alfa, you are either the richest, dumbest or bravest man in America.

          • CripesAmighty1

            Old spider. Pretty popular in class, actually. Simple, robust; forgiving handling.

          • h4rr4r

            Rarely running :)

        • sw19wilson
        • SisterArtemis

          Great! Next drinky thing on your yacht!!!

    • theCryptofishist

      At least I know where my mortgage payment is.

    • marxalot

      Oh, good, the car needs a new clutch.

    • Bill D. Burger

      New THX® Ultra2™ Home Theater System in the media room. BooYah!

  • Nounverb911
    • Chadwells

      Good gravy…I’m in deep shit for the vitriolic rants I go on about that idiot Sessions!!!!

    • h4rr4r

      I laugh at the Keebler Klansman all the time. So I guess they will be mighty busy at the DOJ.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    United Airlines. The reason the airline industry can’t have nice things.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I’m sure that the woman who founded a School for Negro Girls with $1.50 would find a lot of common ground with a white Republican billionaire who’s out to destroy public schooling. Maybe they both like Pepsi. Or Heineken.

    • sw19wilson

      One of them probably thinks the other one loves watermelon?

  • Nounverb911

    This is enough cash to buy Venezuela.
    https://twitter.com/CNBCnow/status/859506123396837376

    • sw19wilson

      I hope they haven’t left it all in the checking account. It’s like a paltry 0.01% interest!

      • mancityRed6

        for you and me and the other proles maybe…for them, probably closer to 20%

        • sw19wilson

          Sodding golden rule!

    • Doug Langley

      Yeah, but just try and get a job with them . ..

    • TJ Barke

      Thank goodness all that money is sitting around accomplishing nothing. Good thing America doesn’t have need for those funds, for infrastructure projects or a civilized healthcare system or something.

      • h4rr4r

        If only we could somehow either get those funds or encourage investment.

        • theCryptofishist

          Somehow we have to learn how to encourage invention and entrepreneurship without creating great big piles of stagnating wealth that do almost no one any good.

          • h4rr4r

            That is very easy, reduce the lifetime of patents. Make first mover matter more.

          • theCryptofishist

            Dang. I should have known that the wonkers were up for any challenge. Can we rule as a hive mind?

  • Bozilingus

    So Betsy is going to tell us something about the Negro?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouh__tzUsvg

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ah Jeeez’! What a fucking moron, and what a clear example of the Baggercon and Republican casual disregard for the health of the citizens of this republic. And yet they are returned en masse election cycle after election cycle to represent the very fucking idiots who benefit most from the federal government they profess to hate so much. “Keep your Big Gummit hands off muh Social Security and Medicare.”

    “We love the poorly educated.”

    Amazing.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C-1ksTaXYAUk3sz.jpg

    • theCryptofishist

      This from a man who looks like death warmed over. Or some sort of zombie worm hybrid?

  • Bitter Scribe

    I could maybe see inviting her to speak at a panel or something. Maybe. You could probably rationalize some demented reason about exposing students to different points of view or some such bullshit.

    But to inflict her on a captive audience of graduating seniors is just plain cruel. What were they thinking?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    This is why we cannot have nice things (and why I’m glad I have few breakables within reach)
    https://twitter.com/TheLeadCNN/status/859499697458880513

    • boyblue122

      When an empty Trump podium gets more airtime than Hillary’s rally, there’s a little bit of a media issue going on

    • Anna Elizabeth

      This is why I don’t watch these fucking blow-dried teeth assholes on any network. They are engaged in a propaganda campaign against us. TV reporters should pray that *I* am not the judge during the Reconciliation trials.

      • jesterpunk

        Can we nominate you as the judge?

        • Parakeetist

          I second that.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you. I believe in justice, I believe in fair trials, and I believe traitors should Dance Danny Deever when convicted.

          • Vecchioivan

            Extra points for the Kipling reference.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~curtseys~ What kind of Victorian-era wargamer would I be if I didn’t know my Kipling. XD

    • mackafritz

      I guess none of that other stuff actually happened. We must have just imagined it.

    • SeeTrain65

      Spending that capital a little early, eh, Jake?

    • sw19wilson

      Sounds about right to me, tho.

    • ariel_gee_398

      In case anyone was wondering if Jake Tapper understands how misogyny works, the answer is no.

      • Count Awesome

        Faux News probably wants to give him a job.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I find rolled up balls of socks to be remarkably throwable. And therapeutic when used that way.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I have a foam “Bad Call Brick” that my alma mater sold for people to throw at their TV’s when the refs are stupid.

        • SeeTrain65

          They had stacks of those at the Ohio State bookstore when I was there back in 19——.

    • Doug Langley

      Remember the good ole days when stealing a Presidential election would be the story of the year and not “she’s a sore loser”?

  • jesterpunk

    This sounds familiar, its Ian MacKaye from Fugazi talking about Nazi’s in the 80’s and 90’s at punk shows.

    http://bandwidth.wamu.org/ian-mackaye-if-you-want-to-rebel-against-society-dont-dull-the-blade/

    Margosis brings up an early ’90s Fugazi show in Orlando, Florida, that was paid a visit by Nazi skinheads:

    I remember that, the O Town Skins, I remember them well. They were
    sieg heiling us. And I was just yelling at ’em. And then we came out and
    our tires had been slashed. Florida was rough! Rough and tumble.

    …There were skinhead gangs in almost every city, and you know,
    Canada—you just saw ’em everywhere. I don’t know what happened at that
    time that made people so angry. I don’t know what was going on. But it
    was an epidemic for sure. And they were bad. They weren’t the worst.
    There was other shows. One of the worst skinhead things the band ever
    ran into was in Warsaw in Poland. Oh my God. We were having dinner at
    kind of a dorm near the venue, and maybe 50 or 100 skinhead guys
    attacked the entire building, smashing out the windows. It was
    incredibly crazy.

    I remember we were doing a show booked in Eugene, Oregon, and these
    white-power skinhead kids put up flyers saying they were gonna like come
    to the show and straighten us out, basically shut us down. And the city
    council of Eugene shut down the show. And I thought, that’s a great way
    to empower the skinheads! That’s great! That’s a really incredible turn
    of events. I was shocked they would shut down the show based on what
    these kids were up to. But that’s the thing, like, I’m gonna use the
    word [a-hole] again, but [a-holes], they’re like a virus. They’re gonna
    always be around. They’re just gonna manifest in different ways.

    • mancityRed6

      I met Fugazi way back when they played KC on the “In on the kill taker” tour.
      I had dropped my then GF off at the airport and got there early so I was skating. $5.50 tickets that they apologised for.
      I didn’t know a damn thing about them. I met them in their little van, smoking a cigarette. And the security guard tried to get our backs up by saying Rollins sucked his…well, yeah, it didn’t work.

    • TJ Barke

      Nazi punks fuck off!

      • jesterpunk

        Speaking of that song it wasnt originally about Nazi’s specifically. It was about violent assholes in the pit.

        http://www.tonedeaf.com.au/496717/a-history-of-punks-vs-nazis.htm

        Talk to any punk of the time and they’re likely to reference the quasi-anthem for the punk antifa, Dead Kennedys’ ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’. Interestingly, taking a directly anti-Nazi stance was not frontman Jello Biafra’s intention in writing the song – in a 2012 interview
        for the LA Times, he explained the original target in the lyrics was
        “people who were really violent on the dance floor”, and equating them
        with Nazis was simple shorthand.

        • TJ Barke

          Still…

        • mancityRed6

          Fugazi stopped the show in the middle to stop the pit.
          Did you know they recorded nearly every show they did? If you saw them, go to their site and look up the date/city, chances are you can buy a recording of that show:
          http://www.dischord.com/fugazi_live_series

          • jesterpunk

            I have a few of their albums and used to have some of the shows too including a few they stopped for skinheads in the crowd. I also have the history of Discord collection.

          • mancityRed6

            I don’t have the history, but I do have all the Fugazi albums because there is nothing more unique and special than one of their songs and the unique way they would couch their lyrics.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoAYOBDdJMM

        • MizzMazz

          I remember when the ‘mosh pit’ changed from a bunch of punks having fun. If someone fell, there would be a dozen hands to pick you up. Then it turned into a shit-show where you got your ass kicked by jocks.

          • mancityRed6

            every mosh pit of every major band (read dropkicks and sick of it all), they picked you up if you fell down.
            of course, the last time I saw Sick Of It All, I got my nose broken by someone in the pit.

          • jesterpunk

            It also depended on the band too, they tried that at a rancid show I went to in the early 2000’s and Lars and Tim yelled at them.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Take them bowling!

      • theCryptofishist

        Ever been to the San Francisco Amoeba Records?

        • Ωbjectifier

          Nope. Can you take skinheads bowling there?

          • theCryptofishist

            It used to be a bowling alley–the one where they filmed that video. Last time I was there, they were playing that video. All sort of meta.

          • theCryptofishist

            Shorter answer: No any more.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Cool. I’m going to San Fran later this summer, I’ll have to check it out.

          • theCryptofishist

            It’s a great place if you still buy the dead *sniff* tech called cds.

      • jesterpunk

        Use them as the pins?

  • Nounverb911
  • Puck

    “God dammit. It’s way to early to start drinking…” – me, almost daily now with reading the news.

    • Parakeetist

      Me too.

    • Shoto

      I find that sniffing glue works nicely to offset the meth and crack.

      • mancityRed6

        at work I have to rely on white out and sharpies…I think the marks under my nose give me away.

        • Shoto

          Sniffing sharpies: That’s good old-fashioned American ingenuity!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • Hutch

      “Ya gotta pace yourself.” – My Liver

    • HogeyeGrex

      almost daily

      You misspelled “every morning, within an hour of waking.”

    • SpideySenser

      Is there such a thing as “too early”? I had NO idea!

    • jesterpunk

      Just remember its 5 o’clock somewhere.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The daily dilemma: day drinking, or no day drinking?

      • mancityRed6

        do I have to work today?
        do I have today off?

  • Truck Fump
  • Serai 1

    This made me laugh like a loon.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mF81Ns4cp4

    • sw19wilson

      Nina Conti is hilarious!

  • This is my stomping grounds. I see some protests being organized on the Facebook as we speak. There are probably people in my town that would welcome a visit from Betsy DeVos, or any member of Trump’s cabinet. But Bethune Cookman is not where I’d go to look for those people.

  • zerosumgame0005

    oh for fucking fucks sake! more Bowling Green Massa-cree BS!

    http://addictinginfo.com/2017/05/02/trump-mocked-for-inventing-fake-civil-war-battle-on-his-golf-course-theres-a-plaque-and-everything-tweets/

    The site does have historical significance alongside the Bowling Green Massacre, in that its historical significance is completely made up.

    • jaspersdad

      He’s a stupid, stupid man.

  • artem1s

    The students have gotten the ball rolling on this but it will be the alumni who have the final say on it. I’m looking forward to reading some of their comments on it. :)

    • SerialParkingViolator

      What you said.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
    • WomanInThePersistence

      God’s going to get you for that.

      • Let him try. God’s a dick

        • WomanInThePersistence

          You ever watch “Maude”?

          • No…i only know her from Golden girls

          • WomanInThePersistence

            One of her frequent lines was ” God’s going to get you for that, Walter ( Maude’s husband).”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD I haven’t seen “Maude” since I was little. Bea Arthur was my favorite on “Golden Girls”, too.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I loved that show when I was a kid. Still do.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I need to see if “Maude” is on any of my services.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            It’s on Youtube.

          • LucindathePook

            She was great with Archie on All in the Family, too.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, I just barely remember that. :)

          • LucindathePook

            ‘Cause you are sooooo young, is why.

          • SeeTrain65

            The argument about FDR was kick ass. And the start was incredible.

            Archie: “This country was ruined … by Franklin Delano Roosevelt!”
            (Pause)
            Maude: “You’re fat.”

          • Meccalopolis

            Her mom was great too

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Sophia. XD She had the best zingers.

      • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Oh, this makes me miss the Maude tv era so much.

  • Hutch

    I did some grantwriting for Bethune-Cookman a few years ago. The administrators are all about government money. Whatever it takes (I was told by the president). But really – this is one step beyond.

    • sw19wilson

      Okay, I don’t care if this is a heffalump trap, I’m still walking straight into it:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-uyWAe0NhQ

    • Meccalopolis

      I was thinking that too but oh man will this blow up in their faces

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, I immediately thought of Merkel inviting the Ivankbot to her little forum.

  • zerosumgame0005

    “attracts more skinheads then free Rogain!” OMFG that was classic Colbert!

  • Nick Scroggs

    And now the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh shows up to deliver free education to the kids in the Trump era. Also, is it possible that game theory can be reduced ad absurdum? I was reading a biography of Hugh Everett, and it seems to me that ultimately, I doubt that rationality or stuff in one’s best self-interest can be reduced to quantitative, uh, qualities. Also, have you ever had a university class that felt like a poorly taught community college class, yet you’re paying more for it?

    • theCryptofishist

      I’ve always resisted game theory. Partly because the rewards they assign seem so arbitrary. They should combine it with Evolutionary Psychology for something really annoying.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I had more individual attention in my community college classes. Better to take a chem I class with 35 students and one instructor than one of those lecture halls with 300 kids and two TA’s

      • Nick Scroggs

        I’ve got one with 200 people and three TAs. I didn’t know they had TAs until the start of quarter, they should point that out.

  • Lord Jim

    From the original statement: “Her mission to empower parents and students”…Uh, hasn’t her “mission” mostly been to fund legislation to funnel public money to private and charter schools?

    • Count Awesome

      “Rob Peter to not teach Paul.”

      • Meccalopolis

        Ya burnt!

    • OrG

      Po-tay-to Po-tah-to

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Yes. Parents and students of private schools.

    • jesterpunk

      Conwomen… grifter

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Worse than that, even. Clueless rich woman trying to make society over to her half baked notions. Attracts grifters and con artists the way crap attracts flies.

  • Me The People

    Well that was a fun way to ruin six t shirts in a row. Burnt some calories though, I guess that’s something positive :)

    Fuck you DIY DTG, come back sublimation, all is forgiven. White t-shirts ROCK! 100% POLYESTER FTW!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Perhaps some context would be helpful.

      • zerosumgame0005

        I am guessing he vomited on 6 shirts looking at Betsy’s pic, just a guess!

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          That does make more sense than my theory.

      • Me The People

        Sorry – ;) I have posted a couple of times before, but not much. I tried getting into DTG (Direct to garment) printing with a (relatively) cheap machine (still the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought) so I could print onto dark shirts, but it all went horribly wrong, and I’m returning the (faulty) machine for a full refund. And now I’ll be printing on white tees only, using sublimation printing on 100% polyester shirts. I*’m probably affected by ink fumes right now, so there’s that as well.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Ah. The polyester line in your post still has me confused, but at least I am relieved that this activity did not involve precious bodily fluids.

          • Me The People

            Sorry I wrote cotton where I meant polyester above – I’ve edited it now.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, I do not dye shirts, but honestly, polyester? IMHO, eeewwwww.

          • Me The People

            The new stuff is really good, honest! It’s breathable, feels like silk, and the print will never wear off. Which is good if you are selling them because, that means virtually no returned items ever.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Well fcuk. Visualizing something great and having it come out crap. The artist and craftperson’s bane.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      If you use t shirts for cum rags they are not ruined. You can wash them, you know.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    She looks like a dog eating shit.

    • Hutch

      She’s the illustration in the dictionary under “shit-eating grin.”

    • sw19wilson

      Dog eating shit libels!!!!!!!!!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Snacking from the cat litter box again.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Grandma?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        She’s starting earlier than she used to.
        *goes to buy more sherry*

  • goonemeritus

    This kind of thing is why I never attended any of my graduations.

    • Count Awesome

      This kind of thing might be why some Trump supporters never graduated.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just saw this gif and …..WTF?

    “Forgive me Father. It’s been seven days since my last concussion.”

    http://p.fod4.com/p/media/b0dabecd1d/j6PqAo1xQliYVfzIORrc_Priest-Takedown.gif

    Or: “Go and sin no more, you little motherfuc….”

    • Shoto

      Needs moar escrima sticks.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I’d kind of like to see one of the kids pull out some pepper spray ….

    • Hutch

      Gee, mass has really changed since I last attended.

      • SpideySenser

        Jesus, it’s a mass brawl!

    • SeeTrain65

      Trying to shake the brown out of those kids? FFS.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Will I go to hell for laughing out loud at your quip?

      Please?

    • Count Awesome

      “That religion with snake handling is looking real good about now”

      • SeeTrain65

        “You can suck out poison. CTE lasts forever.”

    • sw19wilson

      At least the priest settled for regular assault.
      That’s kind of progress, right?

      • I am terrible in that i snorkeld at this aloud. In public

        • Sophia

          I’m there with you, except I am at least in my own home.

          • Marytblanding

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      • WomanInThePersistence

        Baby steps.

    • Count Awesome

      The priest must be Irish and gotten into the sacramental wine before Mass.

      • SeeTrain65

        True story … my post below was going to read simply, “Irish Priest?” but I was too timid to post it. So I changed it.

    • LucindathePook

      Sr. Mary Edward, my principal in elementary, used to pinch my cheeks, I. e., grab me by them with either hand, and shake my head back and forth front to back. Was supposed to be affectionate.

      • Me The People

        Creepy.

    • Count Awesome

      I don’t want to see video of what he does to the altar boys.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Have you seen Trump in public lately?

      • Bill D. Burger

        ManO’Man! That’s brutal.
        If someone had hit one of our boys like that when they were that age, we’d have a problem.

    • FlownΩver

      Someone seems a little confused about that “suffer the little children to come unto me” thing. That’s not how this works!

    • nightmoth

      If it were Ernest Angley, that would be a miracle healing.

    • Carole

      The Mass has ended; go in pieces.

  • RobKanC

    Just saw this and I am so upset,

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/tamerragriffin/bananas-hanging-from-nooses-at-american-university?utm_term=.knk1AyN9#.rmpOAxpo

    Tell me again how racism was seventy billion years ago and everyone should get over it..

    • DrBigHead

      If Trump rise to power has shown nothing else, it has clearly demonstrated that the idea of a post-racial America was bullshit.

  • Picabo

    Today’s birthday. Link Wray was born on this date in 1929.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUHz0i8_ziA

    Let’s rumble!

    • SpideySenser

      Oh SHIT! I loved the stuff he did with Robert Gordon. Gotta whip out the ol’ 33s and get rockin’.

      • SpideySenser

        P.S. Happy b*day, Link.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Crank up the trem!

  • Hutch

    I don’t think ole Betsy is going to like Bethune-Cookman or inner Daytona Beach for that matter. And I doubt she’ll figure out that she could really help change things there for the better. Just a photo-op for her.

  • Nick Scroggs
    • wavicles

      I get it… bat vs bat.

      • Nick Scroggs

        And about 40 years before The Batman.

      • sw19wilson

        Ahh.. .nice!

    • Ωbjectifier

      Leody M. Diaz’s masterpiece!

  • Nounverb911

    So, one day Al Roker dozes off at the opera, makes joke about it and all hell breaks loose.
    https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/859515091091369984

    • sw19wilson

      Q: How many opera lovers does it take to change a THAT’S NOT FUNNY, OKAY!!!!!!

    • DrBigHead

      Good God, people need to lighten up a bit. While I have never been to the opera, I have attended a few high-brow events at the end of a long week where…..

      zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Wait, where was I?

      • Count Awesome

        “I did lighten up. Remember how fat I used to be!”
        –Al Roker

        • DrBigHead

          I’ll remember to tip the waitress…..

        • mailman27

          Al Roker- the luckiest man in show bidness.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I had a few work meetings like that.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Asleep at the Opera

    • SeeTrain65

      Watching old Robert Klein specials reminded me of the joke he told about his ex-wife, Brenda Boozer, singing opera in London and that there were full houses every night, then saying, “Of course, it was Helmet Night. … They gave out the little Valkyrie Helmets that lit up.”

    • Serai 1

      I remember when the standard adult response to a stupid joke was to ignore it.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Hell, I fell asleep at a Grateful Dead concert once. Woke up hours later and they were still playing the same song. I think they were asleep, too.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Jukesgrrl

      Add the time your service provider will waste claiming that your not being able to open Wonkette is caused by your computer, not their equipment. Never mind that you have three devices and none work. It can’t be the WiFi you pay $70 a month for.

  • Nounverb911

    It’s time to vote this arsonist out of office already!!!

    https://twitter.com/cimarcos/status/859521236359053313

    • Meccalopolis

      Uh-huh, that’s alright bitch

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Moebym Reborn

    I’m pretty damned stressed right now. I’ve made a few poor judgments at the beginning for which I’m seeing negative ramifications now, and all I can do is hope that the other side is okay with things taking longer than planned.

    On the bright side, I have an entire team ready to back me up in case things go seriously south, and I now know what not to do next time around.

    • sw19wilson

      Overwatch?

      • Jennifer R

        Sounds like all of my games!

      • Moebym Reborn

        It’s work-related.

  • Serai 1
  • jesterpunk

    Republicans are about to kill net neutrality for good.

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/05/gops-internet-freedom-act-permanently-guts-net-neutrality-authority/

    Oh look which assholes are involved in this law

    Lee’s bill was co-sponsored by Sens. John Cornyn (R-Texas), Tom
    Cotton (R-Ark.), Ted Cruz (R-Texas), Ron Johnson (R-Wisc.), Rand Paul
    (R-Ky.), Thom Tillis (R-N.C.), Ben Sasse (R-Neb.), and James Inhofe
    (R-Ok.). In the announcement, Cruz repeated his charge that net
    neutrality is “Obamacare for the Internet.”

    • sw19wilson

      Who are the D’s who are likely to support this?

      • jesterpunk

        Right now not sure because its only republicans sponsoring it.

        • sw19wilson

          Ah, thanks… but I guess they have the votes, regardless. :(

    • La forza del resistino

      No Senators, ISP is not an acronym for I See Payoff.

      • jesterpunk

        They just know Obama was for it so they hate it.

    • OrG

      Actually it’s like single payer for the internet, but I get what he’s saying.

  • Nounverb911

    Okay guys, make up your minds, is he for it or against it, or just a little of both?
    https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/859542310475968512

  • Me The People

    The” good old days” are back again!

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/laughing-congressional-hearing-jeff-sessions-code-pink_us_59076a93e4b05c3976810a3a

    Katherine Coronado of the U.S. Capitol Police was in her second week on the job
    when she was assigned to keep watch over Sessions’ confirmation hearing
    on Jan. 10. Coronado was involved in the arrest of Desiree Fairooz, an
    activist affiliated with the group Code Pink, after Fairooz laughed when
    Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) said that Sessions’ record of “treating
    all Americans equally under the law is clear and well-documented.”
    (Sessions had been rejected as a federal judge in the 1980s because of concerns about his views on race, and back when he was still a Democrat, Shelby himself actually ran an ad suggesting Sessions had called the Ku Klux Klan “good ole boys.”)

    Fairooz was seated in the back of the room, and her laugh did not interrupt
    Shelby’s introductory speech. But, according to the government, the
    laugh amounted to willful “disorderly and disruptive conduct” intended
    to “impede, disrupt, and disturb the orderly conduct” of congressional
    proceedings. The government also charged her with a separate misdemeanor
    for allegedly parading, demonstrating or picketing within a Capitol,
    evidently for her actions after she was being escorted from the room.

  • Totally going to a couple of these events:

    http://pintofscience.com

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Why isn’t the USA represented?

      Oh, I forgot.

      Well, how about a spliff of science?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Here in Atlanta, we have the Science Tavern. Keep it local, dudes.
      https://www.meetup.com/AtlantaScienceTavern/

  • Nounverb911
    • Jennifer R

      Oprah already said that deadbeat donnie winning is making her reevaluate her chances. Celebrity presidents will be awful, but we have already done worse than her.

      • Jukesgrrl

        What’s next? President Kardashian? “Ehhh, my father was a lawyer, my husband is a genius, and my children are beeeutifulll. My mom and sisters will volunteer to run the kahbinets, whatever they are, for free, get it? Vote for me and parties at the White House will be sooo haaawtt.” (Spoken in the inimitable Kardashian whine.)

    • TootsStansbury

      Way to go full on big brother.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      OK, I have to go make dinner now (cranberry balsamic sirloin) and cry a bit.

    • Michael R

      Trump did not comment on this – how strange !

    • Jukesgrrl

      Sorry, I didn’t realize you had already posted this when I did.

  • Michael R
    • Jennifer R

      That is some real devolution.

      • vivian

        We are DeVo’s.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Whip it good!

  • Ezio
    • WomanInThePersistence

      No reason to get nostalgic. If the Republicans have their way, we can experience this very soon.

      • sw19wilson

        Make America Gangrenous Again.

      • Lefty Wright

        I heard someone who had worked for the EPA on NPR today and he said the problem is the EPA was too successful. We don’t have black smoke belching from smokestacks and rivers catching on fire. The same thing applies to vaccines. We don’t see thousands killed or crippled from polio, serious birth defects from measles, or the misery and sometimes death of an infant with uncontrolled coughing and wheezing from whooping cough.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Anna Elizabeth
    • jesterpunk

      Good song.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It’s been helping me get through, lately.

        Arm yourself because no-one else here will Save you

        Try to hide you hand
        Forget how to Feel
        Life is Gone with the spin of a wheel

        • Picabo

          Ode to Joy gets me through our worst of times.

  • Jennifer R

    Not only am I up to 6/31 mob types with combat prose now, I had an idea to add depth to my combat without totally rewriting it yet! Also I had a freakishly bad hallucination! Mixed states are fantastic!

  • Scooby

    She has more stable n common with Andrew Jackson!

  • ariel_gee_398

    This obviously concerns me. But on the other hand, what are the chances he gets a phone call from someone who explains what the agreement actually does and he decides to keep it after all?
    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/859553575063650309
    https://twitter.com/samsteinhp/status/859553411372433409

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Maybe Evita I mean Ivanka will talk him out of it.

      • SeeTrain65

        The “Ivanka Peron” meme 5$F created today is going to live on forever.

    • La forza del resistino

      And who was recently labeled as ‘leading from behind’?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Was Obama for it? Yes? Then it must be pissed on and destroyed.

  • Hutch

    Hey, on an up-note. Sally Yates is testifying before Congress tomorrow. It would be nice if she could throw a wrench (spanner) into the WH shit.

    • Is it an open session? If it is, sick time here i come!

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        It is, but she can’t reveal anything classified, so it will only be useful in terms of establishing a time-line for when Trump was told Flynn had problems.

        • Hutch

          Still. I’m watching. She might go all surreality show on everyone.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Any news if it will be carried on C-Span??

      • Hutch

        I’m checking everywhere. Because I want to see this.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Closed meeting tomorrow. Pubic testimony on 5/8.

  • Jukesgrrl

    If you haven’t seen Jimmy Kimmel’s emotional support for universal healthcare that followed the harrowing story of his newborn son’s emergency heart surgery, watch it. It will do your heart almost as much good as what happened to tiny Billy Kimmel’s heart at Los Angeles Children’s Hospital. Jimmy’s a Rich Hollyweird Librul and he could have just yammered about his own problems. But he brought it back to all the other parents who might not be able to afford the insurance he is blessed with having ABC/Disney as his employer. A passionate, funny, and touching rant.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmWWoMcGmo0

    • Suse

      Really touching. I know several people who have had very sick infants via organ malformations. Fortunately, they mostly had good insurance. One of my friends had a daughter who was born without an anus, intestines outside her body, damaged kidneys, and many other problems. She’s been through 16 surgeries.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Kimmel started off making kinda lame sports jokes as part of an NFL pre-game show decades ago. I remember right after 9/11, they cancelled football for the week and it was a big story. Jimmy did a spot where he talked about how he understood why people didn’t want it cancelled….that it represented tradition and normalcy to them, and they’d had their lives ripped apart and didn’t know what to do with themselves, and they just wanted to have something familiar and predictable to cling to. Though I didn’t totally agree, it was a humane and thoughtful take, and I remember thinking then, there’s a little more to this guy than meets the eye.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I just watched his thing about his son. Yeah, I’m a bit weepy right now. And bless him for saying that no parent should have to decide whether they can afford to save their child.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The other time I saw him get emotional was when he was talking about Cecil the Lion…the one that asshole dentist killed in Africa.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I like the guy, what can I say?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Anybody that dated Sarah Silverman as long as he did has got to be both liberal and a pretty self-confident guy. I would be terrified to even say hello to Sarah Silverman.

      • Suse

        I forgot about that. His wife looks to be the antithesis of Sarah.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah. It’s just that she’s so smart and that wit is so razor sharp, I’d be afraid of saying something stupid and having her eviscerate me in public, roast my remains, and feed them to the dogs.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Actually, his current wife looks quite a bit like his first wife. She’s not a ton younger than he is, worked for his company for years before they dated and still does, seems to be a feminist, and is pretty funny herself.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I have a little rant to get off my chest, y’all. One form of “street” harassment I had never before been subjected to is the whole “guy insists on talking to (at) woman even though she’s wearing headphones and not having it”.
    I have now experienced it, thanks to the asshole sitting next to me on the case I started working on today. He also takes up far more of my physical space than he needs to- and whaddya know, he’s not doing it to the man sitting on the other side of him. Unfuckingbelievable. Asking me idiotic questions that he can look up his own damn self in the same case materials we both have. Turning his monitor toward me to indicate that he wants to show me something, which might be some shit he saw on twitter and thinks is funny.
    And no, it’s definitely not him just trying to be friendly, there’s a coiled understated aggression about it. Piece of shit doesn’t know who he’s dealing with! Can’t force me to be a “nice girl” who will accommodate his sad little ego. I can be a real bitch when I want to be.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Be tough. I hate that shit.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Atta girl. We all need a can of whup-ass in our pockets.

    • sw19wilson

      Bleh! It must be some allosexual testosterone thing – or is it a dumb pick-up artist type “dare”?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        He hasn’t pulled any discernable “negging” on me yet, but we see if he steps up his game when I don’t faun (sp?) all over him. I could def see him pulling that nonsense at the bar, and he’s smart enough and admittedly a good-looking older man so unfortunately he probably gets away with it. 😒

        • sw19wilson

          It’s a numbers game, apparently (not a game I was particularly interested in playing).
          I learned pretty early on in my interaction with the lady females, that they were just nodding politely and smiling while I prattled on about whatever random shit my teenage brain was engaged in during art class or lab work.
          Once I sussed that out, I simply shut up and meandered into conversation only when my input seemed welcomed. Of course, then I overcompensated and got put in the “shy/so quiet” bracket. But I found I liked it there anyway… so it all worked out in the end! :)

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Enthusiasm is very attractive! But yeah, you do need to learn to read your audience. This is not something teenagers are good at. At least miss teen Alpaca wasn’t.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I guess I’m not a “real man” since doing something like that would never cross my mind.

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s fucking rude AND creepy as fuck.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That’s because you are a real person. Some of whom are men.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        YES YOU ARE.

      • Do you wear tights? Manly men wear tights. There’s a song and everything

        • Lord Jim

          Wore a skirt once. It was kinda fun.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I support men in skirts! And lord knows they need it!
            (That’s a ball joke. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Scotland and they really don’t wear underpants under their kilts)

          • SeeTrain65

            “The Scotsman with Nae Trews” exhibit is always a hit at the Ideal Loon Exhibition.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyuUXNAq7lM

    • Suse

      You just need to smile more! /s

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I dunno – a “I could use your intestines for a hat” smile may work…

        • alpacapunchbowl

          That’s my everyday smile…

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Ask him if you can borrow some money from him, something big. That should make him want to avoid you.

      • Or “OMG! I my culture we’re married now!”

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Yes. Danger of that. I take it back. Just kick him the metaphorical nut sack.

      • sw19wilson

        I dunno, probably lead to some creepy indecent proposal.

    • Suse

      How long has this been going on? Document everything and take it to HR. This is harassment.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It is indeed. We just started this morning. And there will be action on my part, but I plan to just let him keep digging a hole for himself the next few days.

    • Hutch

      “Some Female Dragonflies Fake Death To Avoid Males.” Just sayin’.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2017/04/29/some-female-dragonflies-fake-death-to-avoid-males/

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Hahaha, I saw that this weekend and laughed my ass off.

        • Hutch

          Relatable.

    • Jenny

      Everyday. I usually start shuffling papers.

    • SeeTrain65

      When a woman is wearing headphones, I always assume she doesn’t want to talk to me. I also assume the same thing if a woman is not wearing headphones. Out in public, I’m not a person that people want to talk to. I guess that’s why I lock myself in my bedroom for days on end. (I wish I were kidding.)

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Well don’t do that. I isolate too, thanks to my depression and anxiety. I’m sure you know it’s like the worst thing you can do when you’re feeling your feels. So please try not to. (I know it feels impossible)

        • SeeTrain65

          If I were depressed, I’d be in bed all day. Right now, I just have nowhere to go, no mode of transportation to take me there and no job to motivate me into doing much of anything, other than commenting here, doing a little writing and trying to cultivate something for my future. But I’m fine.

          In any case, it makes my skin crawl to hear about men who do stuff like this. I can’t understand why people can’t stay away from someone who clearly wants to be left alone.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        IMHO, it’s OK to approach in a friendly way if I’m not obviously busy, as long as a guy understands that sometimes “Hi, howru?” is all your going to get.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Agreed. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I have a spidey sense that is quite good at distinguishing polite well-intentioned friendliness from creepy bullshit, subtle as thst creepy bullshit can be sometimes.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            *nods* I always trust my instincts, and they haven’t let me down yet.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Maybe you wouldn’t do this, but consider practicing saying, “Oh shit! I thought that was lip balm.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9bdcde541b1439d836b6c99a489619538862da60f914fc864c389808a1539cb0.jpg

    • TootsStansbury

      I work with some guy who thinks womens just different. Says he wants to go back to the 50s. He’s a black guy. Fuck that and that’s exactly what I tell the mofo.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Does he not know about the 50’s?

        • TootsStansbury

          I honestly think it’s the girl thing with him.

      • Ωbjectifier

        The 50’s was not a great time to be a black man in Murika.

        • MynameisBlarney

          It still ain’t, but the 50’s was a hell of a lot worse.

    • SpideySenser

      Creepy. I would find a way to shut that interest level down ASAP, which prob means being that bitch you can be when you want to.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I don’t think it’s an attraction thing so much as it’s a control thing. I feel like I’m gleaning insight into why shitty older men go for much younger women, who they presume are naive enough to fall for their shit. I’m guessing he doesn’t realize I’m 40.
        A propos of nothing, maybe for shits and giggles I’ll wear my Nasty Woman shirt tomorrow.

        • SpideySenser

          Nice wardrobe choice! And yes, in total agreement about the control thing. Fucking insecure little shits if that’s how they get their kicks. Apparently unaware of how brilliant the women of the world are!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Ima glad tomorrow is Payday. These last 2 days I’ve eaten rice. Rice with Chutney, rice with Collard Greens, rice with Buffalo Sauce.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Have you tried rice with rice yet?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Breakfast today. :)

        • It doesn’t have the same ring as Spam, Spam, Spam, Eggs, Spam, and Spam

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I adore Spam, but my diet doesn’t allow for it. Ima getting a fucking pizza tomorrow, tho. XD

    • Lord Jim

      But have you tries rice with canned clams?

      (ducks)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Big Lots has Canned Clams, but I’m not a MONSTER. XD

        • Lord Jim

          LOLOLOL!

      • sw19wilson

        Canned clams with duck and rice?

      • Michael R

        Bumble Bee CLAMS !!! Now with more stingers !!!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Christ on a cracker, you guys.

        • SeeTrain65

          Go to a Catholic Church. Christ is the cracker.

          (God’ll get ME for that, Walter.)

    • MynameisBlarney

      HEY! You’re back!

      • snark-lurker

        Anna fighter! Anna Always come back.

      • Ezio

        And you’re front!

        ….I’ll leave now.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I was hoping you’d log in soon. ~hugs~ Thank you for everything. :)

        • MynameisBlarney

          Anytime!

    • Ωbjectifier
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Just tell folks you’re doing some historical research on Imperial Japanese Army rations.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD It is Nishiki brand…..

    • Hutch

      Dandelions. They’re good, they’re free, and they are good for your liver.

    • MynameisBlarney

      No black beans and rice?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        No black beans right now. XD

    • Meccalopolis

      Rice is nice. Get fed girl

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Honeypie, have you applied for food stamps…? We need you to be nourished! Also, honey, if you start a kickstarter I’d kick in. No one should not have enough to eat. (Except Joe Walsh)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I have Food Stamps, thank you. They refill on the 5th. :) April was a tough month with stuff bouncing just before Payday. I did better though, and I start even tomorrow.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m serious, if you can start a little kickstarter on those rough months, let us chip in a few bucks. I hate to think of you going hungry when I’d gladly help out.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you, but I’d have to show my legal name, my dead name, and I would rather not.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Do you? Couldn’t you create a “public name” or a “company name” and operate the kickstarter under that?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I could check, I guess. :)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            oh, it wont work because I don’t have a phone

    • Amy!

      Rice with corn is also (surprisingly) nice. Buttered. It’s one of my go-tos for depression-afflicted upset stomach, something I can eat when I can’t eat much else.

    • David Chaillou

      Hi A.E., as a peace offering, would you accept a gift of that Patton vs. Panzers book you were mentioning the other day ?

  • Ezio

    Guys Spicey straight up walked out of a briefing today.

    http://www.avclub.com/article/sean-spicer-straight-walked-out-briefing-today-254664

    • Hutch

      Well, nothing surprises me anymore. Although that Wilbur Ross comment about “after dinner entertainment” re Tomahawk Missiles had me riling up twitter yesterday. Just. So. Wrong.

  • Lord Jim

    Here’s to the glorious return of Her Right Royal Majesty, Queen of Wargamers and Sovereign Nerd Anna Elizabeth:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAgnJDJN4VA

  • Beanz&Berryz

    OT. Crooksandliars has a pic that seems to show Ivanka before and after plastic surgery. Is that what that picture is showing?

    • Hutch

      What happened to the schnoze? Was it in a contract with dad that she get Ivana’s nose back?

  • Nick Scroggs
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Maybe DeVos can be invited to a ceremonial book-burning, followed by a Shaming of the Gays ice cream social afterwards.

  • Suttree

    Taking a good long nap, and then falling down upon waking, I have found Spacepig at the end of the couch. I are stupid.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Not stupid, my Dashie does that sometimes too. :)

      • Suttree

        I am just happy that Spacepig is back in my pocket

        • In your what?!?!?!? I bet it’s dirty…

          • Suttree

            I am actually not wearing pants right now.

          • I am at work, so am wearing the socially acceptable pantsuit. Like a common libtart

          • Hutch

            Suttree. You never are.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Neither am I. Bikini bottoms. :D

          • alpacapunchbowl

            So wait, just which pocket are we talking about?

    • snark-lurker

      oh boy! look out below : )

  • Chadwells

    Christ…as if Dampnut and his scumbag crew haven’t scraped enough human shit and brought it into the light of day….now we are hearing from this fuckhead, former rep. Joe Walsh.

    “Joe Walsh Tweets About Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘Sad Story,’ Gets Ripped Apart”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/joe-walsh-jimmy-kimmel-baby-tweet_us_5908eac9e4b05c397683ad95

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yes, he decided it would be a great idea to say that he didn’t care and he wouldn’t be paying for Kimmel’s child’s care. I hope eventually to live long enough to take all of my dogs to piss on his grave (being a woman, I’d have trouble doing it myself). With sharp, rusty votes. Nasty little motherfucker.

      • Chadwells

        A-fuckin-men!!!

      • Hutch

        I’d be happy to take a squat at the grave.

    • TJ Barke

      I wonder what it’s like to be that gross and callous of a human being.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Well, you can get some idea if you picture Twitler, only broke, unemployed, and unable to afford child support, with no power and with everybody hating on him, but juuuuuuust sane enough to be aware of it.

      • Chadwells

        Despicable is too kind…he’s just vile trash.

    • Sophia

      Trying to stay relevant. Wish the news would just ignore these douches so they can fade away into obscurity. For them to be insignificant the remainder of their lives would be the best punishment for their douchiness.

      • Chadwells

        Me too. We have enough to deal with already.

  • notaten

    Obviously, all of the demoncratsocialjusticewarriorilluminatidemons are huddling, thinking of our next moves:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5b8877391483409b4fe77ef167d22874117bbd97c26f7f7dfe0c92b791715387.jpg

  • Suse

    I would like Mick Mulvaney to be hit with tons of rotten produce (the stuff left in the fields because no immigrants to harvest it). What a total repugnant life form he is.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Mean little shit, ain’t he? He looks and sounds like he pulls the wings off insects for fun.

      • Suse

        All of Drumpf’s cronies are unfuckingbelievably abhorrent. Not a decent one in the bunch.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Remember how upset we all got about Rexxon Tillerson? Then it turned out we needed to grade on an entirely different curve? Good times, good times.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Dead Man’s Curve?

      • Shoto

        He’s pretty vicious, alright.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        They all do. Trump most of all.

        • SeeTrain65

          Trump’s advanced to starlings.

    • Count Awesome

      He’s more deserving if pig shit through a mulcher spraying right at him.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      In every picture I’ve ever seen of him, he looks like he just got caught jerking off.

      • Suse

        Hahaha!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Omigod, you’re so right!

    • Shoto

      I saw a blurb of Mulvaney yammering his shtick today and the only thing I could think of was, “Damn, this MFer is a pure psychopath.”

  • La forza del resistino

    HBCU could be parsed to mean the most black people Betsy has been in a school with in history.

  • FlownΩver

    At the end of the day–

    Huzzahs and well done to Trix/Shy for fixing the sad, failing Disqus ad issue from this morning.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    How dumb is she? Why would she want to do this?….

    • Suse

      Money can’t buy intelligence, compassion, logic…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It’s hard to know how dumb she is. We’ll have to wait for the autopsy to see exactly how poorly-proportioned her cranium to her actual brain was.

      • vivian

        World’s first solid cranium; unlike the solid chocolate bunnies this is not a good thing

    • Shoto

      All of the Dumb?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    RUMINT: Five Eyes IC has Trump on tape speaking to a foreign person (name not known) saying he would have Russia investigation “shut down”.

    Passed to the FBI.

    • Suse

      Whut?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Various reporters gossiping about sources.

        • Suse

          So hoping it’s true.

          • Meccalopolis

            That will be the beginning of the end. See: Saturday night massacre

    • Shoto

      Do you have a linky on this?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I hope this isn’t true, because if it is, it means our intelligence/counterintel community was either asleep at the switch, or effectively staged a coup.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I am not tracking you.

        The gist of this rumor is that overseas allies have intel of Trump speaking to a foreign national saying he will shutdown the investigation. This is allegedly post his inauguration.

        Hard to say if the point is obstruction or if he’s just yapping again, but there have been some rather inept attempts at shutting it down, at least in Congress, to date.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I took it to mean pre-election. I guess I got thrown off by talk of his firing of the USAs.

  • Suttree

    Ok folks

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Is it just me, or did you leave your comment unfini

      • Suttree is Schubert!

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          “Franz, get back to your homework!”
          “I’m TIRED, I’ll finish it TOMORROW, give me ein breack!”

  • Shoto
  • Suttree

    I am back to bed with spacepig.

    • Hutch

      Put some jammie bottoms on, man.

      • snark-lurker

        and turn that jock strap around frontwards

    • Suse

      Is that one of your cats?

      • snark-lurker

        it’s complicated

        • Suse

          I see…

          • snark-lurker

            you do? woooooow. i donut see…said the blind man to the deaf woman over the disconnected telephone

      • Suttree

        My stuffie

        • sw19wilson

          I thought it was the name of your physical therapist?

          • SeeTrain65

            I can see where you got confused. “Spacepig” is the name of MY therapist.

  • Sophia
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The ACLU has already said they’ll sue when/if he does.

      • Sophia

        Good.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Oh, sorry, just scrolled down and saw you have already made this excellent point!

    • I shall “celebrate” accordingly and hurl over-cooked pasta whilst wearing a traditional collander headdress at the motorcade when he finally makes a trip to Canada

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You have nothing to fear; unless he can bring his blankie and his big-boy bed, he won’t be going anywhere.

      • sw19wilson

        Needs moar beer and midgets!

      • snark-lurker

        you gonna eat that sketti before you hurl it?

    • Shoto

      Well thank Babby Jeezuz for that, amirite?

    • Suse
    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      The ACLU has made it plain as day that if he does, they will sue.

  • Michael R

    Trump has a Civil War memorial on his DC golf course —
    for a battle that never happened

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/trump-has-a-civil-war-memorial-on-his-dc-golf-course-for-a-battle-that-never-happened/

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I feel that Andrew Jackson would’ve seen Betsy DeVos coming, and done something about it. He had a big heart. People are saying.

    • Picabo

      Betsy DeVos coming? Qué horror.

      I’ll see myself out now.

  • FlownΩver

    I don’t have anything interesting or snarky to say this evening, but I just noticed my comment total was sitting on 4,998, so…

  • Shoto
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF CNN

    Headline Clinton, Trump can’t stop airing their 2016 grievances

    Hillary makes ONE talk and she is the equivalent of Trump. Fuck CNN, fuck them.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/02/politics/hillary-clinton-2016-election/index.html

    • jesterpunk

      But both sides are exactly the same somehow and they have to be fair.

      • Shoto

        Both sides do it.

        — Jeff Zucker

    • Shoto

      Copy that. If there was any justice in the world, Jeff Zucker would be pulling graveyard restocking shelves at a Piggly-Wiggly somewhere between Tupelo and Tuscaloosa.

      • FlownΩver

        And/or meeting the business end of a rusty chainsaw… of votes ( I guess).

    • Vincent Ricola

      I turned that garbage off after the first 5 minutes of Erin Burnett and random conservative blogger 1276 concern trolling.

      Personally, I hope Hillz stays in the public spotlight and keeps shit talking everyone.

      • SeeTrain65

        Turning off Erin Burnett is always a good call.

    • Suse

      Is C. Amanpour still there? If so, she needs to GTFO now.

      • FlownΩver

        I think she was emceeing the Hillz appearance today.

    • Truthiness2U

      Maggie Haberman, or what the fuck ever, tried to make that same argument on Twitter. The NYT and large parts of the media are circling the wagons on how little to blame they are.

      Which is HIGH-larious. The want all our subscriptions, and watching their shows to SAVE DEMOCRACY!!! with the importance of a free press!!!!1! Democracy dies in darkness! The truth is more important now than ever!

      But when Hillary even just says that whole WikiLeaks thing mattered. Oh yeah, the Comey thing also mattered, they flip their shit and all of a sudden the press doesn’t have any power. It wasn’t them that made the EMAILS!! fake bullshit, a fake bullshit thing they talked constantly about. It wasn’t them that covered the stolen, edited stuff the Russian government gave to WikiLeaks, constantly to smear Hillary with innuendo. It wasn’t them that then tied Comey’s egregious lapses in professional, legal judgement to do what he did in July, and then again in October. It wasn’t them that ignored all the endless legitimate stuff out there about Trump, to false equivalency about fake stuff THEY CREATED! about Hillary.

      Like I said, I want to stop hating the MSM, but they don’t let me forget why I hate them.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I dropped NPR, and also the NYT. If you cant/won’t call a lie a lie? Fuck you.

        • SadDemInTex

          Yes to both!!

      • SadDemInTex

        Yep!

    • Granny Sprinkles

      At this point, and probably for a while now, CNN exists only to try to generate viral video clips. I miss the good old days when Anderson Cooper was an amazing, engaging, real reporter.

  • nightmoth

    Wonder if she’ll try to “get down” and try to sound like a “hep cat.” It slays me when white people who aren’t used to talking with black people pull that shit. I usually hear it from fraternity boys, but Betsy has some linkage with that demographic.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Or Karl Rove and Mitt Romney.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Once at a geek meeting, a young’un but female tried to suss me out. I told her that I wasn’t “urban” and was a geek/nerd before she was born. She shut up and then tried to shut me out of the group, a group I had belonged to for a while. She destroyed herself though. Her name was Megyn, and we already had a member named Megan. Whenever a conversation came up and someone mentioned “megan”, the followup question was “the nice Megan or Megyn the Bitch”.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      “I speak Jive”

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Barbara Billingsley libelz!

    • Nick Scroggs

      Well I sometimes use “hep”, but i also read a lot of Harvey Pekar.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Joe Walsh tweets out something rancid, uncaring and stupid in his pathetic quest for attention and relevance. About a million people respond that he’s a deadbeat dad.
    https://twitter.com/jesseberney/status/859502313035231232
    https://twitter.com/nwi_jsp/status/859537524297011200

    • jesterpunk

      Something something party of personal responsibility just as long as they dont have to be personally responsible for their actions.

    • Shoto

      The electric tweetering box can sometimes be a whole lotta fun, amirite?

    • jesterpunk

      How long until Joe Walsh is put in charge of the Administration for Children & Families?

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      The Washington Times tweetered something that actually achieves a new low in hateful, ignorant, inhuman, tribal barbarism. I can’t bear to copy it in–did you all see it on the tweetybox?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Nope. I generally don’t listen to Moonies.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          You’re better off.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        About Jimmy Kimmel? Yeah, keeping it classy.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          They called him “an elitist creep.” It made me want to weep. How can someone be that devoid of any sort of humanity? Why must we have to listen to them?

    • SeeTrain65

      I remember when Joe Walsh (James Gang, Barnstorm, Eagles, Solo Career) ran for President in 1980. Right now, this Joe, even on a Jack Daniels and mushroom binge, would make more sense than the other Joe Walsh had ever made in the whole of his miserable, child support skipping life.

      (BTW: If you’ve ever watched Music Choice and seen a Joe Walsh song played, you might see this in the “Did You Know?” section, which I think is a fairly obvious comment: “Joe Walsh ran for President in 1980. He didn’t win.”)

  • not_vh
  • Nick Scroggs

    And now a bunch of images for no reason from Gravity Falls. I’m just gonna keep doing these posts until I get bored. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6faa52e9513f5e10ca66748a80ac2e650f221943fca5306b968db5d7282dbe26.jpg

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • sw19wilson

    Nobody can get bored of Gravity Falls!

  • Shoto
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Chadwells

    A small sliver of hope that one of these pricks might actually be brought to justice.

    “Roy Oliver, who shot Jordan Edwards in Dallas suburb Balch Springs Saturday night, lost his job on Tuesday.”

    Now he just needs to be thrown in prison for fucking life.

  • Nick Scroggs
    • Jonny On Maui

      Those aren’t those cakes we like are they?

    • sw19wilson

      Weirdest bukkake hentai anime evar!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Donny’s prep notes on Andrew Jackson and the Civil War.

    His interview? Aced it!

    https://pbs-h2.twimg.com/media/C-1dghNXgAA4VY-.jpg

    • Nick Scroggs

      No way is that Trump’s, it’s too coherent and doesn’t mention America First!

      • Bill D. Burger

        Melania helps him with the research. That explains it.
        Although he threw out her intro: “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

        • Nick Scroggs

          Ahhhhhh, it does.

      • Meccalopolis

        Actual quotes I believe

    • notaten

      Totally FAKE NOOZE!!!!! It doesn’t even mention that he had the bigliest inauguration crowd since Andrew Jackson!!111!!! You Lie111!!

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Trump’s America of Hate

      • sw19wilson

        This one’s Full Pence.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          The United Hates of America, is what I should have said

    • sw19wilson

      Yay! Religious Freedom!

    • TJ Barke

      WTF do they care? Cremation is already heresy…

      • Jonny On Maui

        “Let’s see if we can make their loss even worse.”

    • Meccalopolis

      Maybe the most horrible thing I’ve heard all day

    • Lord Jim

      Speechless…

  • Jonny On Maui
    • mailman27

      Nice.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
  • Sophia

    OMG I just read an article in the Washington Times by Charles Hurt, got led there by accident following different linky thingies, what a vile man. I now need to go take a shower. Yuk!

    • Nick Scroggs

      Is he the guy who says the Doomsday Clock is a ploy to enact a “liberal left agenda”?

      • Sophia

        Could be, he was going on about Jimmy Kimmel in the one I read. Evil just oozed out of him.

        • kaydenpat

          Unbelievable that anyone could find a reason to criticize Kimmel after his heartrending story about his baby.

        • miss_grundy

          Because Jimmy Kimmel, whose son had to have heart surgery right after his birth a week ago, wants all children to be covered by health insurance, especially if they have a pre-existing condition as his son will now have.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I will not read the Moonie Times.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “NYT: Ivanka Visibly Upset When Trump Didn’t Want To Apologize For Vulgar Tape”
    As she spoke, Mr. Trump remained unyielding. His daughter’s eyes welled with tears, her face reddened, and she hurried out in frustration.
    *******************************************************************
    *
    *
    Later that evening: “Daddy! I thought ‘the special tickle handshake’ was just for you and me! boooohooooo! boooohooooo!”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      NYT can stop referring to Jared and Ivanka as “unnamed sources in the White House” any fucking time now.

    • kaydenpat

      How do we even know that this account is true? I believe nothing any of the Trumps have to say.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Okay, I’m lost interest. And my computer wont’ let me save any more. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2d70369b2720f0b381238c0ac8a8dd0c97d3135f15d37b7526043cb5d9a3e71.jpg

  • Suse

    It’s been so hot here the last couple of days in the east bay area. Seems way too early to turn on the AC, so just have a fan on. I did manage to take down a few xmas things (yay!) and bake a cake. Also laundry and dishes and some cleaning. We have so much crap to get rid of after 40 years of marriage (May 8), I just want to get a dumpster and be done with it. I know – first world problems.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Well done! A little at a time Suse, it’ll get done. :)

      • Suse

        Thanks for your encouragement. My problem is that I want it all done in one swell foop and I can’t do that, so I don’t do anything.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Eat the meal one bite at a time, Suse. It’s how all big jobs get done. :)

        • SeeTrain65

          I don’t care if that’s a spoonerism, I love it anyway.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Trying to do it also for our eventual move in together. Don’t work well without a deadline.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Congrats on the 40 years!! And, yeah, dont you love those magazine articles “Spend one day sorting through your clutter”—more like one YEAR

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Be grateful for AC- a lot of older apartments in the Valley don’t have it. SO is sweltering even as we speak.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Another black teenager was shot and killed by cops in Dallas, who lied about it. Straight A student and football star who wasn’t armed. I heard about it because Trump has been tweeting incessantly about what a horrible tragedy it was.

    • TJ Barke

      WHY DID HE THREATEN THOSE COPS BY DRIVING AWAY FROM THEM!?

      • Truck Fump

        It was even worse! He was in the back seat of the car being driven away from them.

        • kaydenpat

          While Black!!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Obviously, the driver was planning on going all the way around the block and coming back to ram the police with his vehicle. I mean, why else would you should an unarmed black kid?

    • Suse

      A horrible tragedy for the cop, I’m sure.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        And think of the poor gun!

        • Suse

          No one ever thinks of the poor gun. Sad…

      • efoveks

        Cop was fired at least, as soon as his story didn’t add up, the chief of poise let him go.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Please be patient while we concoct a story that makes this seem like what it wasn’t. We have to get on the same page to demonize a teen who was murdered. We need to order some awards for the murderer. The cops first option rather than last resort is to start shooting . Why? Because Texas….no, Murikkka!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In fairness, the police chief, who initially supported the shooter, looked at the body cam video and realized he’d been played. The cop has been fired….now they need to prosecute his ass.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That’s a tiny step in the right direction. The young man is still dead, however.

        • kaydenpat

          Good to hear that the killer was fired.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          When I worked for the gubmint I was told that cops were held to a higher standard of truth and that lying-about anything-.was grounds for termination. I’m not seeing that.

    • jesterpunk

      How long until the media finds out he didnt turn in his homework once in second grade and that means its his fault?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He no doubt had Skittles and Arizona iced tea in his possession. Every black teen should know the consequences of that.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Photoshopped picture of unrelated ” thug” in a hoodie in 3…2…1…

      • mailman27

        He was no angel. (Of course, he is now if you believe in that sort of thing.)

      • miss_grundy

        His daddy had the maid do it.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I’m sure Turnip is tweeting bigly Thoughts & Prayers. And they will do more good than all the others because they are classy Thoughts & Prayers and only he can tweet them.

      • miss_grundy

        His thoughts and prayers are meaningless since he doesn’t have any. I am surprised he wasn’t struck by lightening when he went to church on Easter Sunday.

    • kaydenpat

      Trump? That’s strange.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Part of my post is not actually true.

    • miss_grundy
      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Yeah, the cop lied and the body cam told the true story. Let’s see whether/how he is prosecuted.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    All this shit from Drumpf and his lick-spittles in the media everyday reminds me of my abusive family, you never get any rest from abusive, Gaslighting assholes.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • kaydenpat

    This is sad. That is all.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • jesterpunk

    So is he going to kick them out? Has he talked to Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III about this? I dont want to laugh at either of them and get attested though.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/859127705366921216

    • Suse

      What contributions? Plus, those Japanese got free food and lodging at those nice farms we sent ’em to all those years ago. Ingrates.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I saw a really good-looking woman at Target, too. 30s, hair close-cropped except for spiky, Gradient-colored top, and her left arm was tattoo-sleeved. I approached to tell her she has Awesome hair, and I got a big smile and a thank you.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Glad you’re back, I was worried about you!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thanx John. :)

  • Nounverb911

    “Rules? Rules are for little people.”
    –Ivanka Kushner

    https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/859513307081957376

    • Suse

      Why? Why?? Why???

    • jesterpunk

      I am so glad my tax dollars are going to support Trump’s family instead of poor people and kids. /s

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
      • SeeTrain65

        The comment section is not to be believed. FFS, what will it take for these loud-mouthed dimwits to open their eyes?

        • miss_grundy

          When something really, really, really bad happens to them due to one of the Tangerine Grifter’s executive orders or bills that he will sign into existence. Once it has meaning for them, they will figure it out. Like the lady who married the Mexican undocumented immigrant and then was separated from him when he was sent back to Mexico even though he had been in this country like twenty years. Then all of a sudden, Trumpy’s actions finally resonated with the chick.

          • SeeTrain65

            Or, “when it finally effects them.”

            I guess that’s where you, me and the rest of the people here differ. We’re more about “let’s not let it happen to anyone else.”

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Yeah, my dad asked me about what repeal of ACA would mean for me and I replied “I’m fucked”. And I added that I have applied to SS and Medicare but if they are cut, I’m equally fucked. That made it all real to him.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        There’s no delineation between where the grift ends and the job begins. It’s a continuum.

    • Chadwells

      ETHICS VIOLATION of 2635.702!!!

    • miss_grundy

      Why don’t they just rename these government sites “Grifters R Us”.

  • Sophia

    We all need friends like this: CAT SAVING FRIEND FROM THE MEAN VETS.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8x-1LJKhgc

    • kaydenpat

      That’s hilarious. True friend.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      What a fine friend! So funny!

    • Meccalopolis

      Come on we escape!

    • DrBigHead

      Run! Run you fool!

  • Apple Scruff
    • jesterpunk

      Do they need their safe space since their feelings where hurt?

      • Apple Scruff

        I’m not sure what was different about Colbert last night that sent them over the edge?

        • Suse

          Two words: cock holster.

          • Apple Scruff

            YES! The whole rant was amazing, but cock holster is definitely the one that had me cheering!

        • jesterpunk

          He made fun of Trump again. See this morning’s wonkgenda post

          https://wonkette.com/616489/trump-knows-what-women-want-your-wonkagenda-for-tuesday-may-2-2017

          • Apple Scruff

            That’s what I mean. He does that every night!

          • jesterpunk

            Their mom let them watch the show last night and let them out of their basement.

        • DrBigHead

          IMO, what was different was a total lack of snark. Colbert made no attempt to hide his contempt fro Trump on a very personal level.

          • Apple Scruff

            It did seem like Colbert had reached some sort of boiling point. The way Trump treated John Dickerson (whom Colbert adores), really set him off.

          • miss_grundy

            Yep, if you watch the end of Dickerson’s interview with the Tangerine Vulgarian, he decides to end the interview by walking behind his desk in the Oval Office and picks up a folder and starts looking at the paper waiting for Dickerson to leave. The schmuck referred to “Face the Nation” as “Deface the Nation” and acted like a putz throughout the interview. When will Dickerson and the rest of the Washington press stop kowtowing to this asshole? Stop giving him airtime and start criticizing every stupid move he makes. Just freaking make his life a living hell and perhaps he will have a conniption and keel over and we will be able to use the 25th Amendment to kick his orange anus out of office.

      • DrBigHead

        These are the same people who whine about the butthurt snowflakes. There are times when I wish I was that oblivious. It would make getting through the day so much easier.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Rest easy. They wont.

    • Truthiness2U

      To quote –fuck their feelings.

      I just hope this will be as successful as their Starbucks shenanigans.

      • Apple Scruff

        They’re all just going to watch him again, making his ratings go up.

      • Sophia

        I loved their Starbucks shenanigans. I’m gonna give these people my money. That’ll show ’em.

    • Michael R

      Are these those free speech assholes ?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And now they are starting some dumbass not-believable rumor that Colbert is a homophobe. Try harder, lame brains.
      https://twitter.com/Green_Footballs/status/859567989812740096

      • Anna Elizabeth

        My message for the Alt-Reich:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q21AazXT9xo&list=PLgA_QpnjZQywhhsQy5fWuWLjDw1jBmMUj&index=69

        What do I shoot at?

        ~The Nazis, Dumbfuck!

      • miss_grundy

        Because he said that the Tangerine Toddler was Putin’s cock holster and reporters have decided that the joke was homophobic. I know that the press was stupid throughout the election cycle and that they continue to act like stupid cows but I do not consider “cock holster” to be a homophobic jibe. It just happens to be the truth where the Tangerine Toddler and his Lord and Master, Vladimir Putin, is concerned.

    • therblig

      #worstThingToHearFromYourDr

      “why, you’re as healthy as president trump!”

  • not_vh

    paging nounverb, hazotoo, kiri and the rest of the artistic gif-ing ilk.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u5c-Qndqio

    • tehbaddr

      The Old Master, he still haz it!

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nounverb911

    Well Sean, they’re trump’s promises not the congresscritters, the congresscritters jobs are going to expire sooner than donnies…

    https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/859565672174678017

    • Michael R

      Presidenting is hard .

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        “I’m supposed to be able to do EVERYTHING I WANT and EVERYONE HAS TO BOW DOWN TO ME! That’s what being President is! Boo!”

        • TootsStansbury

          Obama black! How hard could it be?

          • notaten

            Twice as hard as for a white man? Just a wild ass guess.

    • not_vh

      thought the whole purpose was to guard against the whims of an individual. that was the built-in fail safe in the constitution.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        it’s truly astonising to me how so many of these assholes truly do not understand even the most basic fifth-grade civics.

        • Suse

          They were too busy throwing spitballs.

        • not_vh

          they were told there would be no civics either.

        • Al Swearengen

          They’ll miraculously remember it all again the instant a Democrat takes the White House.

        • miss_grundy

          Fifth grade? Pfffftttt! These people don’t even understand the civics lessons in Schoolhouse Rock.

      • FlownΩver

        Well, yeah, but…

        That system assumes the rest of the government isn’t made up of greedheads and cowards.

    • Apple Scruff

      This is delicious. He thinks he’s kissing Trump’s butt, but he’s really dividing the GOP.

  • tehbaddr

    Has something happened at CERN or the LHC? This timeline/reality seems very off kilter!

    • Nick Scroggs

      Welcome to my world.

      • tehbaddr

        Al, things are getting real strange here. Get me out of here Al! What do I have to do to get out of here?

        • Nick Scroggs

          I don’t know Sam, this is some weird shit.

    • jesterpunk

      CERN has a new experiment.

      https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/05/axion-search-at-cern-sets-limits-on-these-possible-particles/

      The timeline is messed up from the black hole that swallowed the missing plane.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpVd7k1Uw6A

    • notaten

      Whew! I thought I was the only one that felt the timeline/reality off-kilter thing. It’s been going on for at least 104 days, but maybe as far back as November of last year. Do I need to call the Dr.?

      • tehbaddr

        The Dr. is always willing to entertain calls from the ladies! Of course there are certain restrictions.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nick Scroggs

    Normally I don’t like Linakra, but this is a classic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGdfP2KBe5Y

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Do you like SF Debris, Nick? He’s my favorite reviewer.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Can’t say I’ve heard of them.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          SFDebris.com Chuck does a *lot* of Star Trek and stuffs like B5 and Doctor Who, and a bit of everything SF and such in comics, V, films, animation, and games.

          I steal a lot of jokes from him. :)

          • Nick Scroggs

            Uh huh.

  • Suse

    Spice Boy left the presser today?

    • Al Swearengen

      Spicer ran like Trump being told by a black woman preacher to stop giving his stump speech in her church.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        They are all such utter, vile cowards.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Presser, pressure, same thing.
      Yes he did. The big weenie.

  • SnarkON

    Someone should invent a dog with fresh, minty breath.

    • Suse

      I like my kitty’s breath. Is that weird?

      • snark-lurker

        yes

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        No, I do too! It’s so sweet and catty! I have a cat-loving friend and she says the same thing. I like to kiss my babies on the mouth, too. The handsome guy on the left will let me, his silly moustachioed brother will only let me sometimes.

        • snark-lurker

          you know what cat lick at all the time, Right?

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            But you don’t understand. THEY ARE GOOD BOYS.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          One of mine lovingly bites me on the chin when I try. The other would claw my lips off.

      • Meccalopolis

        No

    • SeeTrain65

      Or an elixir that will make my farts actually smell of roses.

      • tehbaddr
        • SeeTrain65

          I already grind too many pills. I guess I suffer.

          • tehbaddr

            They say nothing about grinding the pills, I think your problem might be about grinding pills.

          • SeeTrain65

            It’s the only way I can swallow them.

          • tehbaddr

            Really? I figured you might be huffing them. Have you tried wrapping them in bacon or peanut butter?

          • SeeTrain65

            Really. I take many pills, twice a day, and swallow them with a Metamucil chaser, thanks to a screwed-up throat that the last specialist told he was perfectly normal. My retort was, “If it’s normal, then why can’t I swallow my food, even when it’s chewed throughly and taken in tiny bits?”

            Seriously, it takes me forever to eat, and I’ve almost eliminated meat from my diet. I make a chili, then blend it beyond recognition. Peanut butter has been my friend for ages now. My drinks consist of milk, iced tea (which I make by the gallon) and the Metamucil I take twice a day with the pills, as well as the occasional Dr. Pepper or Ginger Ale if I have the cash for it, or if my brother’s buying.

            By the way, I was born in a small house in rural Ohio to parents of good, hard-working stock … (IOW, enough of my BS.)

    • Michael R
    • snark-lurker

      tic tac’it

    • not_vh

      or a human with greater tolerance to natural odors?

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    I have never laughed so hard as the first 15 minutes of Rachael. I was torn between laughing and crying, but laughing won out. Find it online when it’s up.

  • Suse

    Off to rustle up something for supper. Too hot to cook.

    • snark-lurker

      i scream for ice cream!

      • Suse

        I have vanilla ice cream, fresh strawberries, and a freshly baked cake. Perfect meal!

        • snark-lurker

          aww…! me got vanilla ice cream & chocolate sauce…AND DONUTS!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          You are missing one of the major food groups. You have sugar, fat, and salt. Needs alcohol!

        • miss_grundy

          Strawberry melba??????

    • not_vh

      so you’re too sexy for the pan?

    • tehbaddr

      For a truly exciting meal and experience, I recommend jumping the counter at the 7-11. Then scarfing down as much “roller food” as you can, while taking what you can’t eat in your pockets!

  • Bill D. Burger

    The music is simple (in the best way) and like instagram nostalgia…. and yet awesome.
    Put it on in the mix when I’m avoiding the news and want to relax___ and when I’m cleaning the stables, the horses like it also/too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-NTv0CdFCk

  • Apple Scruff

    Interesting. Jason Chaffetz had to high tail his ass out of DC for 3-4 weeks foot surgery. But he’s coming back on Monday to vote YAY on the repeal.

    Is President Orange forcing him to come back for the vote?

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      His “foot surgery” was on his “heel spurs”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They must think they are really close. If this passes, I hope it becomes the nail in their friggin vote coffin. They want that billionaire tax break. That’s really what this is about.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        That, and the house wants to pass it so they can run in 2018 saying “I voted to repeal, but those damn senators didn’t”. They know this will never pass Senate.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Well, that’s a fail on their part.

  • Sheepshagger
    • SeeTrain65

      Boom.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      True. Very True. Many people are surprised when they meet me F2F, after only talking to me on the phone, that I am ‘colored”.

  • Doctor Jay did my commencement speech. It was magical. DeVos at the HBCU founded by one of my greatest sorority sisters is going to be a giant floking dumpster fire.

    • Meccalopolis

      Mine was erskine bowles

  • Panika MCD

    DO NOT post cute animal photos because they will only make my nightmares worse.

    currently the only options for charging someone with animal cruelty in TX are a Class B or a Class C misdemeanor and since we’re an evil species and can think of all kinds of horrible things to do to each other and animals, we do horrible shit to animals. some people film it and sell it online. some people do it because if they did it do the person they are targeting, they would end up on death row–and they admit they will do it before hand.

    SO the Combined Law Enforcement Associations of Texas and the Texas District & County Attorneys Association got State Sen. Menendez to file a bill that allows for a Class A misdemeanor to be charged in the most extreme cases. this is usually the kind of thing that everyone is on the same page on–particularly: don’t fuck with a man’s dog! but not today!

    the bill–Senate Bill 762–hit the floor today. during the debate, several senators were trying to find REASONS–ANY REASON–to vote against the bill. does it prevent you from shooting a rabid dog what is attacking you? NO. does it prevent you from shooting a feral dog what is attacking your cattle? NO. after several of these really dumb questions and a clarifying amendment, Menendez felt the need to say STFU by clarifying what they were after–listing several examples in detail. IN DETAIL. and these are things that you cannot unhear and will give me nightmares and I will not repeat because I know you value your sleep.

    AFTER THAT State Sen. Bettencourt just couldn’t shut his fucking pie hole and had to say that though he’s “a dog lover”, he doesn’t think any of the things described rise to the same level as misdemeanor assault of a human.

    10 senators in total ended up voting against the bill and I need to figure out a way to decompress so I can go to work tomorrow and not fly into a rage. my play list ain’t working and, again, I’m having difficulty even engaging with my pets so DO NOT POST CUTE ANIMALS.

    • Meccalopolis

      Sorry man. Animal abusers are the lowest filth in my book

      • Panika MCD

        I think people who excuse it are even worse. he said that some of the stuff described could be an accident or a mistake. I can find no way to wrap my head around that one and I can understand A LOT.

    • Shibusa

      Texas sucks. Sorry but it’s true.

      • Panika MCD

        usually everyone is on board with this. they’d want to make it a felony. and it appears that the same garbage that is plaguing us is plaguing everyone. look to your lege. you probably have these assholes, too.

        • Shibusa

          My lege at the moment is Justin Trudeau. The Shibusas moved to Canada to get away from the Trumpocalypse. Apologies if I offended about TX. I enjoy your posts.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m sorry you left. it’s nice to have people stay and fight. I’ve heard this shit is happening in Congress.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            It’s not just Texas. Animal cruelty is an issue in many Ag states.

          • Panika MCD

            yeah, and we’re trying to outlaw bestiality also this session. I can understand why that one gets the ag industry’s hackles up. what I can’t understand is excusing systematic torture.

          • Shibusa

            So my San Diego neighbor, a meek and mild born-again and devout Trumpkin, firmly believed that humans could do whatever they wanted in terms of animals, because…the Bible makes it clear that we’re at the top of the food chain. I’m not making that up and I’m pretty sure that’s not just her.

          • Panika MCD

            tell your neighbor she needs to read the whole book and not just the verses she likes. the rainbow is a promise to the animals, not humans, that if we get too shitty again, God will take us out in a manner that only fucks us up and not all the other things that call this planet home. that means: GFY people, animals are mine.

            signed,
            some agnostic that read that book they seem to like so much

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Ex-H#2 believed that too and told me some cruelty stories that would regularly happen in his hometown for yucks and giggles. Once. The silence and the look of horror on my face must have communicated everything I was just too grossed out to say.
            ETA – he also gave me shit for recycling because the end times were coming!

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            We are going in 3 weeks to look at some Hill Country properties. It wouldn’t be my first choice, but SO has family there.

          • marxalot

            San Marcos and the Wimberly area are super pretty.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            We love San Marcos. Will probably end up in Bourne, Fair Oaks Ranch, or NSan Antonio because SO is retired military and disabled vet. Those places are closer to the VA and military hospitals, and it’s easier to use Tricare.

          • marxalot

            If you’re okay driving, New Braunfels and Schertz are pretty nice and not too far from Norte SA. Universal City is kind of a hole. Seguin is okay. But Boerne is nice too.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            I was also surprised at all of the beautiful old neighborhoodswith mature trees and brick houses in Dallas and Arlington. However, too far from facilities he needs and the traffic is supposed to be nightmare. After combined 60 years of LA and Bay Area of commuting between us, we are done with traffic.

          • Panika MCD

            that is flat land.

          • Panika MCD

            try to find something in Sen. Uresti’s district.

          • Panika MCD

            Hill Country is beautiful and full of kind people. maybe having some better voters will turn the tide.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Put up cameras if you are living remotely. All sorts of fuckery can occur when you are away at work. I recommend it to everyone these days who is likely to be affected.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Sorry that you had to experience that. Real winners don’t hurt animals or kids.
      My brother had a friend, had because his wife finally said, “don’t that fool around our kids”. This friend was arrested at work on animal cruelty charges. Multiple DUIs, thrown out of college for having a gun in his room, investigated by DFACS for child neglect. His wife finally escaped and took the kids. Do not miss this asshat.

    • not_vh

      while not as impactful as your work, i had a similar day. bad enough that i relapsed to smoking cigarettes after 19 months. i feel like trash now.

      • Panika MCD

        my co-worker that just quit was luckily on her lunch break. she would have started smoking again, too.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        It’s a process. I’ve had friends who made several attempts before it took.

      • SeeTrain65

        Much feels. I quit at 26 after an appendectomy. I went cold turkey after smoking my final cigarette three days after my operation. The next three years were tough, and to this day I still have dreams where I’m smoking, but I’ve had fewer colds and general illnesses in the nearly 26 years since than I’d had in the 11 when I smoked.

        Don’t give up.

        • Panika MCD

          I smoke and I still only catch a virus or something awful once every 4-5 years.

          • SeeTrain65

            You’re lucky. I’d have a stuffy nose and breathing problems at least once every two weeks. And a smoking habit while suffering with asthma isn’t a smart idea in the first place. Colds came often, the flu was still seasonal but it seemed every time the season came around, I got it and got it hard.

            After I quit smoking and it took, I became a snob, too. I can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke, especially after its embedded itself into furniture. It’s as repellent to me as the smell of coffee, another thing that makes me a complete freak. It reminds me of how, after I stopped drinking Coca-Cola and went to lemon-lime sodas, that every time I have a Coke after that, it always tastes flat. Still does.

            In about another 10-15 years, I’ll probably be down to eating cardboard and drinking from the toilet.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That sounds like a very unpleasant diet. At least drink water from the faucet. :)

          • Panika MCD

            I never smoke in doors. my sweet little fur babbies should not be subjected to that. but it does get in my clothes.

          • SeeTrain65

            Another point in your favor. And these days it’s probably hard to find a place away from home where you can smoke indoors anyway.

            I never had that problem. My dad smoked, smoked himself into three heart attacks, in fact, then quit, but a massive MI took him in 1992 after suffering from angina for years. Mom used to smoke but quit long before having me. My sister and her husband, though, smoke constantly. In fact, the only time there’s smoke in our home now is when either of them stop by. And they’re raving Trump loons, too, so I get it from both barrels.

          • Panika MCD

            I have at least 2 points because I have 2 fur babbies! (though Cary Cary says he’s my boyfriend except this shitty flea season meant that I had to actually give him a bath which was not a happy time for a handsome kitty.)

      • Lord Jim

        A success is a person who got up one more time than they fell down. You are not a failure, you’re a fallible human being.

      • marxalot

        The process of quitting includes relapse. It’s not failure, it’s a reinforcement step in getting better. Not making this up, I had to read about cognitive self improvement models and now everyone else will suffer for it!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Texas is where that veterinarian shot her neighbor’s cat with an arrow and posted a picture on Facebook like she was a trophy hunter. She lost her state license but should have gone to jail.

      • Panika MCD

        Sen. Watson fixed that in the omnibus bill and Sunset directives for the TX Board of Veterinary Medical Examiners. they also swept the board and replaced them all for that and many other offenses.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Did he make it easier or harder to kill other peopled pets?

          • Panika MCD

            you have to do it within the scope of your license which rules out arrows. so it’s harder.

    • tehbaddr

      ‘he’s “a dog lover”‘, that’s exactly the sort of thing racist say, when claiming to not be racist.

      • Panika MCD

        oh, he’s totally a racist.

      • snark-lurker

        hey i have a couple dog friends

    • god bless you for your work.

      no snark. (see my previous post about saving a duck. what i didn’t say was how much i pissed everybody off stopping traffic with my big ugly upright bike).

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Anyone who calls themselves a dog lover who would still not permit an *option* to punish the worst offenders more…is no dog lover.

      • Panika MCD

        there are options, but they don’t carry prison sentences.

  • miss_grundy

    Is the administration of Bethune Cookman gluttons for punishment? And why are they punishing their graduates and families? What could this woman possibly say and not make herself look like an ass?

    • snark-lurker

      2 to 1 odds she stiffs’em

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Ill-thought out publicity stunt maybe?

      • snark-lurker

        a wiley staff that hates her scheduled it on the sly

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • today i made sure a slightly disoriented duck didn’t get flattened on fullerton / LSD.

    i feel quite good about that and am pretty much ignoring everything else.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Shibusa

      Chi-town? I used to live at Clark & Fullerton!

      • yup. i was coming off lake front path and he was just wandering down the median strip at fullerton right where lincoln park west and fullerton and the inner drive meet. there was one car that was completely frozen and this mom and her baby on the sidewalk and she kept looking at the duck like she wanted to do something but baby! stroller! so i used my big ole steel bike and stopped traffic and made him fly to the park. also i got to yell at a bunch of yuppies so it was kinda a win all around.

        • Shibusa

          Sweet. Is Potbelly’s still there, on Lincoln? Loved their milkshakes.

          • the one by the old victory gardens? yeah that’s the original right?

          • Shibusa

            I don’t know. There was a piano player and sometimes a guitar player, up on a balcony. It was a regular stop for me and the roommates!

        • miss_grundy

          Thank you!

      • miss_grundy

        I used to live off of Oakdale and Broadway! I miss Chi-town!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Who the fuck gave a duck a hit of acid?

      (and no need explain LSD, I live in IL)

  • Apple Scruff

    I suspect IRL, Ivanka goes around with a pissy face like this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPQYAT3wH_g

  • Michael R
    • why?

      • Michael R

        I assume because she’s a billionaire and EVERYONE HATES HER

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Because she fears the kids and teachers whom she wants to take education away from.

    • Crank Tango

      Doesn’t she already have plenty of guns?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Someone asked why she couldn’t just carry a gun. It it’s good enough for school children to fight off bears shouldn’t it be enough for her?

  • Rachel’s gonna be on Seth tonight!

    • SnarkON

      Sounds kinky

    • Pinkham’s Law

      She’s on FIRE tonight, isn’t she?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I don’t think Seth is the type that Rachel likes to top.

  • DainBramage
    • not_vh

      how many years did trump as a 2 bit celeb and 3 bit businessman spend undermining obama?

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        I’m gonna go with eight years, at least.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      I noticed at the end he gives one of those weird sniffs that he did all through the debate.

  • tehbaddr

    Oh well, it’s time to partake of my intellectual pursuits. My collection of petrified dinosaur droppings, jars of incurable diseases, and Max Neptune and the Menacing Squid.

    See you all on the other side!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You’re in the Cabinet?

      Have a good night.

      • tehbaddr

        “in the Cabinet?” Not at all, I keep my curiosities well on display. The zero gravity chair is the preferred viewing spot for B grade atrocities. However, once mesmerized I find it difficult to move from my placement in front of such entertainment. The computers will stay in the kitchen while I enjoy.

    • theblackdog

      Just don’t whiz on the electric fence!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I so love Ren and Stimpy.

        • theblackdog

          They were great. I wasn’t a fan of the attempted reboot on Spike TV a few years later as I couldn’t even finish the DVD since it was so much grossout humor

  • Jennifer R

    There! A couple smidges of depth added to the combat in my interactive fiction.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Excellent! So you didn’t have to re-design the combat?

      • Jennifer R

        I haven’t totally overhauled it yet no. Not sure if this will do a whole lot, but it slightly shifts the balance away from Fast Fast Fast always being the best attack option.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Cool. :) Always worth trying smaller fixes first.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Hi Anna. Welcome back.

            Speaking of trying smaller fixes first, in case anything like that happens again, take a deep breath, turn off your computer, put on your booty shorts, go shopping, and then when you get home, tune back in to see how many people have your back here and told that fuckface to fuck right off.

            Then you can point and laugh.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah totally :) especially when I don’t have much of an idea what a big fix would even look like other than “Not what I have now”.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I hear that. :) I don’t have enough maths grounding to be good at statistics. I understand dice mechanics for *playing* my games, but not for writing one. XD

          • Jennifer R

            I will probably rely on my victims friends telling me if it’s pointlessly easy or not.

  • SeeTrain65

    BTW: Good to see Charlie Pierce at least being able to tweet today. I’m missing the blog posts.

  • marxalot

    I got paid over the weekend and paid my Living Here bills today, I have the money to pay the Other Bills, and I made an appointment with a new doctor (recommended by a colleague whose son is trans) without even hyperventilating on the phone. (Getting the second vial from my ATX doc before I left town was a super smart move, btw.) I need to jump through some hoops to get my state-employee health coverage to pay for things down the road, and that starts with taking my therapist and clinician’s letters to this guy.
    Adulting is hard, y’all. Can I have honey-nut cheerios for dinner?

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Yes, but why aren’t you skipping straight to ice cream?

      • marxalot

        I don’t keep it in the house.
        Because I can’t keep it in the house.
        Hell, I can barely get it back to the house…

        • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

          I have a similar issue with good beer.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You’re adulting. You can have whatever you want for dinner!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Of course you can. You did adulting things today. And adults have whatever they want for dinner. In my case chardonnay and some potato salad. Possibly some asparagus if I get ambitious.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Grocery store sushi and cantaloupe for dessert.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That sounds tasty, actually.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz
  • bookish

    http://www.consumerreports.org/personal-bankruptcy/how-the-aca-drove-down-personal-bankruptcy/

    As legislators and the executive branch renew their efforts to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act this week, they might want to keep in mind a little-known financial consequence of the ACA: Since its adoption, far fewer Americans have taken the extreme step of filing for personal bankruptcy.

    Filings have dropped about 50 percent, from 1,536,799 in 2010 to 770,846 in 2016 (see chart, below). Those years also represent the time frame when the ACA took effect. Although courts never ask people to declare why they’re filing, many bankruptcy and legal experts agree that medical bills had been a leading cause of personal bankruptcy before public healthcare coverage expanded under the ACA. Unlike other causes of debt, medical bills are often unexpected, involuntary, and large.

    • phoenix00

      Heathy citizenry ==> healthy economy ==> healthy country. Is this completely unnecessarily difficult to grasp?

    • lol they are not ignoring that- that is one of the chief reasons they are wanting to get rid of it!
      Business of the poor is a multi billion dollar a year industry.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I just blocked somebody on the Hillary thread. Not my usual style. Definately not a troll, don’t go there, but well….harrumph.

    • Sheepshagger

      Tsk tsk!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I really do not appreciate being lectured to. Really don’t. Again, not a troll, just somebody I have no interest in listening to.

        • Sheepshagger

          Oh I feel ya. Nothing worse than the shining purity police.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It just feels so wierd. I appreciate the block function, but rarely use it. Mostly because I’m curious, and like to know what the fuckwits are saying.

          • I nearly used it on Nick and his picspam earlier

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I just generally pass over that sort of thing. Hide media is my true friend. And Nick’s all right.

        • Courser_Resistance

          If it’s who I think it is, I blocked the person too. I have no patience for that crap.

    • SeeTrain65

      I can see why.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Did you see that? JFC, what a jerk. And I don’t block people very often.

        • SeeTrain65

          I don’t have a problem blocking some people, trolls especially. But even though I have all the time in the world to spend doing this, I don’t have any time for that kind of smug, know-it-all-better-than-you-ever-will bullshit.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Thanks. I just don’t want to over-react, but FFS.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            You didn’t.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Prezactly.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Can I also say here, voter suppression was worse in this election than it has been in 50 years thanks to the gutting of the VRA? Because yeah.

      • THAT.
        Why do people- leftist even!- keep ignoring that this was the first presidential done after the gutting of the VRA and that the last midterms were the fucking dress rehearsal?

    • Sophia

      Sometimes you just don’t feel like listening

      • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

        …to self-righteous bullshit.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      I think I had a similar exchange with that same wonker a while back.

      It’s like trying to argue with someone who keeps insisting, “The fact remains, he drove off a cliff!”

      and steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that one reason he might have driven off the damn cliff is that THE BRAKES FAILED.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        BECAUSE SOMEONE CUT THEM

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      I think I got caught up arguing with him. Will have to go back and block.

  • Sheepshagger
    • Anna Elizabeth

      1st Cav! I used to be acquainted with a female Intel officer in 1st Cavalry. She was *way* cute, and the coolest thing, super Liberal and Queer Ally. :)

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I see some asshole named “man of renown” says the military shouldn’t be pushing multiculturalism. Since that’s the only way this guy got promoted. Fuck!

      • Eh. Man of renown is probably a fucking busted private and doesn’t fucking have a clue.
        Screw him and his sad lil life.

        • jesterpunk

          He is a Trump supporter so I doubt he even joined the military.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          There’s not enough condoms in the world!

      • shivaskeeper

        Man of Renown don’t know shit. No one, and I mean no one makes flag rank without being the cream of the crop. No one.

        Flag officers need Congressional approval FFS. Of course the first of any group to achieve something is going to be in the spotlight.

  • Gah…i have a work pot luck tomorrow, so i have to get up and bake cookies in the morning

    • not_vh

      you are such a nice-roo.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Do you not have stores in your Canadian Paradise?

      • Courser_Resistance

        I think Canadian Tire even has some cookie racks somewhere.

      • I come from a family where if we don’t like someone’s cooking, they get asked to bring the rolls.

        • Sophia

          I dislike cooking so I always offer to bring the rolls

          • I sometimes get stuck with rolls because i confirm late due to stupid work schedule. When i do, i make from scratch

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That’s just showing off. :) and as far as I’m concerned, cooking for a work thingy is actually work, and should be compensated.

          • I was also responsible and put in inquiries for more apts tonight

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Sodas are it in my family. My role now since hospitalizations last year. I only make it to half the family get togethers now. I just don’t enjoy them.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ugh! That just seems like worlds of wrong to me. What an indecent hour to bake cookies.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I quit cooking/baking for pot lucks a long time ago. But I do take nice food.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    So . . .
    The Most Interesting Woman In The World is scheduled for discharge from the hospital tomorrow. Which is a good thing! Except! She hasn’t been out of bed yet, so nobody knows if she can walk well enough to go home. Nobody has evaluated whether or not she can go HOME, home, or needs to go to an assisted living facility, or needs a home nurse. LOTS of concerned people are asking LOTS of questions. She’s probably not going home tomorrow.

    • Make sure she gets an occupational therapist assessment. And there are a couple of sets of basic exercises that seniors can to help increase strength and equilibrium

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Thank you! I will pass that on.

        • Falls reduction is vital! I’m happy she’s doing well though!

        • Also, if she has continued medication or wound care, home nurse is a great plan. If just someone to check in, help with exercises, check/remind for meds- get a Personal Support Worker (less expensive, but can help with daily life if she is still weak or just needs a little assistance to get back)

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      And what about your computer issues?

      • jesterpunk

        Its all settled, I have a spare macbook that has chromeOS on it I will send Pinkham in the middle of the month.

        • Shanzgood

          The equipment isn’t the entire issue, I’m thinking.

          • jesterpunk

            Oh sorry, long day.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            What you said.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Ditto.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          I’m happy to hear someone could help.

        • memzilla Ω

          Yes, the equipment is the symptom, not the cause. However, it removes a lever of control. So it’s more effective.

          • jesterpunk

            I am not that good at helping with the main issue but I know others here are much better at it and can and will help there. I can help with the technology part and am happy to help there.

          • memzilla Ω

            We are ridiculously supportive of one another here.

          • jesterpunk

            That is one thing I love about this place in the short time I have been here. Everyone is really nice, friendly and helpful.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Thank you for asking.

        I am working with a helpful Wonker on at least a temporary solution. I may have to explore the suggestion of other Wonkers, to setup a GoFund Me to buy a computer, but I should have an actual computer within a couple of weeks.

        Hubby feels that, because the issues he raised were (mostly) legit, the way he went about “discussing” them was immaterial (despite being a textbook example of abusive behavior.). I had to hunt the computer down in hiding to get online tonight, and may not have reliable access after tonight.

        • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

          “Hubby feels that, because the issues he raised were (mostly) legit, the way he went about “discussing” them was immaterial (despite being a textbook example of abusive behavior.). I had to hunt the computer down in hiding to get online tonight, and may not have reliable access after tonight.”

          THIS. IS. FUCKING. BULLSHIT.

          Fuck how hubby feels, how do you feel?

          • …yeah that made me wince, like why are you making me hit you wince. :huggles: So sorry, Pinks. Truly and deeply.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Frustrated. Frightened. Fragile.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            I can imagine.
            You don’t deserve this.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Pinkham, I adore you. And really, really want to say in a loving way that maybe you should think long and hard about this. It’s none of my business, I don’t want to pry, but do you have anybody IRL you can talk to? Fwiw, I grew up in fairly abusive family, and cutting you off from your support people is ringing a fuckton of warning bells. Again, with love. You should never have to sneak off to keep contact with your friends. Nobody should.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I am probably, but not officially, autistic, so no. I have no IRL friends. I don’t know how to make or keep them. It’s been a decade since I engaged in an online community, so Wonkette is, sadly, all I have. Not to say that the Wonkette community is sad, just to say that the fact that it is my only social interaction is sad. FML.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, I think the world of you. And I like us Wonkette people. Please check your notifications in Disqus.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            A lot of us think the world of Pink.

            It is extremely difficult to leave a relationship one has become accustomed to, however dysfunctional it may be. I know this firsthand.

            So I understand, Pinkham. You’re not in a good place, but you aren’t alone.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            This.

        • memzilla Ω

          How I hate when you have to weigh the benefits of staying with someone on the “I’m saving money by living this way” scale.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Okay, so bummer, but I hope she gets to go to the best place for her is, right now.

    • Good to see you, Pinks!
      And yay lady! Why has her fam not made these arrangements already?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Because the determination to release tomorrow was made this afternoon, most likely. And, they live 700 miles away.

        • That would be why o.O whoa. Usually hospitals give a little notice for that sort of thing.

          • They really do not

          • Weird. With both my parents, they gave us about 3-4 days heads up. Sort of “If all goes well, it is looking like Tuesday”

          • That’s shockingly rare in my experience. As evidenced by the number of last minute referrals for urgent nursing care we get. (Ie. Oh yeah, this person is going home NOW and needs another dose of IV Antibiotics in four hours or less)

          • well, it probably helped a lil that mom used to work for said hospitals (she worked for 3 of em, at the same time, because /insane and they called her the General which still makes me snicker)

          • My favourites are the ones who check out of the hospital Against Medical Advice. Who then call the office 20 minutes after getting home asking where their caregiver is. We and the gov’t agency that contracts us still think this person is admitted to hospital. Fun

          • I did that after my first. 1 and a half days and I told them I WAS GOING HOME OK. In my defense, it was a teaching hospital, and after 4 days of labor and an emergency c section and all, those students would not give me ten minutes of sleep and I was not in my right mind, really.

    • shivaskeeper

      What Jen said, Good to see you. If I’m not mistaken TMIWITW is in her 90’s? It’s always dicey in the late 80s or 90s.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        She is 96. We are very concerned.

        • shivaskeeper

          As you should be. My Grandma lived to 102, but it started getting rough around that age. Her mind was still there, but the body just wears out.

          May TMIWITW recover and continue to be interesting.

    • nightmoth

      Don’t know details, of course, but sounds like a few weeks in assisted is the safe course, if she’s living alone. A home nurse is great, but not enough initially.

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth
    • Doug Langley

      The tracking is just a teensy bit off, but looks good. (I’ve done this professionally and teach motion graphics so my eye is pretty good.)

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        I’m using an online GIF maker thingy. Tracking is what it is. The handwriting is fkn dog-awful, but that’s all me.

    • Delu

      Did Obama ever have such press coverage that shows him signing a document?

      • jesterpunk

        Depends, he did for a few important ones but not for every one. Like this one

        https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4504323/president-obama-lgbt-executive-order-signing-ceremony

      • RobKanC

        Now now, its not fair to compare Obama to a infant..

        • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

          It’s not fair to compare an infant to Trump.

      • Keep in mind, when Obama signed these things, they were proof that he was an evil dictator attempting to rule by EO because he could not get congress to work with him because he was a horrible no good person.
        OBVS he wouldn’t want press coverage of that.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        He had coverage but never showed it off in such a patronizing manner, that’s for sure.

  • Shoto

    The author of this piece is coming up on O’Donnell’s show.

    http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/05/08/how-trump-could-get-fired

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
  • La forza del resistino

    Sally Yates spilling the beans on the Hill Monday. Please, oh please let a woman bring Donald down for karma’s sake.

  • Eh. She holds the ultimate key to their funding. This was a practical move.

    • jesterpunk

      So its like inviting the boss no one likes out to lunch at work with the rest of the group?

      • Ayep.
        We’re gonna have to give the HBCUs especially a pass on stuff like this. They MUST survive. What they do is still very vital. It is distasteful to me too, but, it ain’t like Betsy is Bannon or something. She’s a dipshit pocket jockey that they are willing to flatter to keep being able to support their mission.

        • jesterpunk

          I really dont blame any school for inviting her either. You have to pick your fights and make sure you take care of the important things. Also the Trump administration wants to severely cut the DOE so if inviting Devos keeps the school open then by all means invite her.

          • It is for sure a time for ducking your head down and keeping on, for many vulnerable people and institutions. Some of us can resist openly. Either we have nothing to lose, or, we are that secure.
            Others have to, by necessity, do so via other means- like working on educating the next leaders. It is all part of it, however.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I feel bad for the graduates who have to listen to that drivel on their special day. After all that hard work.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Maybe instead of throwing their mortar boards in the air at the end they can give her the group finger.

    • dshwa

      This is a crowd that loves to (and frankly probably has a deep seated psychological need to) be sucked up to and fawned over.

  • Master Contrail Program

    What happened to the comment of the week? Since we didn’t get the new commenting system with fabulous prizes, I miss the chance for competition and controversy.

    • TJ Barke

      I never won, so fuck it.

      • This comment should win the next one. Just for the lolz

      • Master Contrail Program

        I got second runner-up once. It’s opened a lot of doors for me. Mostly ones to the beer cooler, but I don’t like to brag.

        • BloviateMe

          Yeah, runner up once. Can you give those people a pep speech about they’re all winners blah blah blah please?

          I’d do it myself, but talking to losers is just…icky.

          Thanks.

          • Master Contrail Program

            Eww. No way. I was second runner-up, not Mr. Congeniality.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Honorary Mention here.

      • SeeTrain65

        Best I could do was get into the graphic.

        • I didn’t even get that

          • Handy Hippie got in that every time. I was mondo jealous.

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            Nor I. It was rigged, Folks, I have to tell ya.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Many people are saying this. Everyone is talking about it.

    • La forza del resistino

      Participation ribbons are available at the Redbubble swag shop on a honor system basis.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’m just here to provide comic relief.

  • RobespierreHoo

    The Revelation. Found on Breitbart comments from the disenchanted Trumpanzees. Raging at RINOs, alternately pissed at Trump, pissed at those leading the Duke of Orange astray. Still not quite getting the whole punctuation, spelling ,and syntax thing down as one would expect of those using English as a native language.
    The clarity that emerges from following comment after comment is that this crew will never be affected by our arguments concerning their cluelessness, lack of critical thinking or “lemmings to the sea” votes against their personal and familial well being.
    These are some mean-ass people who don’t give a fuck about that. What they are laser focussed on is screwing the poor, the immigrants, the cheats who “get shit we don’t”. They really, really want to “cram those welfare cellphones down the takers’throats”. If enough of “them” keep “getting”, their way of life is doomed.Their happiness is simply feeling smug at a lesser’s misfortune. Georgia 1871. Hard to make headway against pure malevolence. And I’m not in the mood to try.

    • Nick Scroggs

      I am, however, considering a research paper on them.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Are you specializing in abnormal psychology?

        • Nick Scroggs

          No, history, I think we can apply their psychology to historical actions and such however.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Andrew Jackson saw that coming, and he wasn’t happy about it.

      • TJ Barke

        Nobody asks why…

    • jesterpunk

      They have also started attacking Jared and Ivanka for being “globalists”.

    • memzilla Ω

      Old And Busted: “Deplorables”
      The New Hotness: “Irredeemables”

    • shivaskeeper

      And you shouldn’t try it. Unreachable, malignant haters are going to hate. Move on to someone else if you are so inclined. They are so wrapped up in anger, misery, and fear they can;t actually feel anything else at this point.

    • But but but…we were told it was economic anxiety?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That’d be Fort Sumter which is in SC, thank you very much. Georgia was the notorious penal colony, Andersonville.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Oh god, reading a chapter on Japan in a PDF, more about, it’s full of five-dollar words and academic “technobabble”, for lack of a better word, just sentences full of praxis and syncretic and “appropriate mode of accommodation” and so on. My brain hurts.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I used to have to read engineering technical system design (TSD) for cellular phone systems in a past life. I was usually given 48-72 hours to read, digest and identify any impacts to the billing system. Yeah, you can do that, but how will we charge for it? How can we detect fraud? How can we distinguish these calls from these other calls? No biggie, right?

      • Nick Scroggs

        Guess it’s true when they say “there’s always someone out there worse off than you.”

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      But does it mention metonymy?

      • Nick Scroggs

        It does, just doesn’t define clearly.

  • SeeTrain65

    Seriously, if I don’t get off here and get some of my meds down my throat, my hand is going to curl up into an unusable ball of seething pain.

    Joking, kind of. But I should do something other than sit on my ass at my desk. I think I’ll go downstairs and sit on my ass in front of the TV.

    Great day today. Have fun, all.

    • TJ Barke

      I sit on my ass even when I exercise.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Take care! :)

  • memzilla Ω
  • Elvis Causticfellow

    I am getting shit tired of all the shit.

    • Nick Scroggs

      I miss saying the word “crap”. It just sounds funnier than “shit.” Also, George Carlin reference, FM and AM. “Shits means, shit!”

    • Believe it or not, that is one of the way this kind of thing works. They wear you down. No, really, that is actually an intended thing.
      Advice you did not ask for but Imma give anyway: When worn, take a break- we got your back. Then when refreshed, come back and relieve someone else who needs a break.

      • Rick Hill

        This is the only a-game they have, lying their asses off.

    • Nick Scroggs
  • jaspersdad

    CNN refused to run Trump’s 100 day campaign ad because it’s fake.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C-1H8SoXsAE-D99.jpg

    • Nick Scroggs

      Is the triple arrow thing (>>>) a new anti-Semitic code or something?

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      HA HA. (In the laughing to keep from crying sense.)

      I received email this morning asking for contribution toward this evening’s $250,000 ad buy goal.

      After CNN refused, I got a second email this afternoon asking to contribute toward new goal of $500,000.

      Welcome back my friends to where the grifting never ends.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      WHY WHY WHY would he want his ad run on a fake news station?

  • Notreelyhelping

    Y’know, it’s all rather like a cross between Watergate and The Madness of King George.

    • But with fewer wigs

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Needs more cowbell.

    • DainBramage

      Does he have barber surgeons examining his movements?

      • Notreelyhelping

        Bannon’s got to do something now that he’s off the NSC.

    • Shoto

      And Keystone Kops too, also.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Add the abdication of the Traitor King, David Windsor and that’ll cover it.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just fwiw, we now have a real troll on the Hillary thread. Excuse me, I have some flagging to go do.

    • jesterpunk

      Can we keep them and name them George?

    • The one who was all but the antifa ARE ALL VIOLENT Y U NOT ASK THEM HUH????
      His history is loverly too ^.^ How those leftists don’t understand what they are up against and how they are gonna slaughter them all. Because the leftists are the violent ones.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Huh, I just got a private notice. Is our morans learning?

        • Probably not. Remember, they are the simple people, salt of the earth…..

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            You know…morans.

          • shivaskeeper

            You just best me to that one. Dammit.

          • We borrowed that from the library this weekend because the lads had not seen it. I do not think they thought it as funny as I did. They were agast at the use of the N word, specifically and thought Mel should have not done that.
            I explained to them the entire Richard Pryor thing and all but they are youngs.
            Bonus, today, someone asked me “Where the boys at?” and my head went “where the white women at?”

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s been on Netflix too. One of the best.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Used salt.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            Or salt from the head of a penis. I’ve heard they taste that way, personally I wouldn’t know.

      • Edith Prickly

        No, it’s a tedious purity pony maundering on about “Shillary” supporters being responsible for Trump winning, or some shit.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah, Flagged and Blocked/

        • Even less entertaining. Pass!

      • shivaskeeper

        Cognitive dissonance can me a motherfucker sometimes.

      • TJ Barke

        HOW DARE THESE PEOPLE THAT BELIEVE IN AMERICAN VALUES LIKE FREEDOM AND JUSTICE OPPOSE OUR AGENDA OF OPPRESSION AND INEQUALITY!

    • vivian

      Meh. It’s a drive-by. No stamina.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I’ve been struggling with diet lately but I’m trying to condition myself not to be anxious about leaving the house by eating yummy things yesterday I got pho and today I got carne asada fries. I have no regrets.

    • No regerts!!!!!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I actually almost typed that.

        Also, my roommate doesn’t really eat food from south of the border or Asian food. How is that possible?

        • o.O I do not know that. So…just potato based starched things and bland meat?
          ick. And I thought my diet was boring XD

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Mostly a lot of vegetables and chicken, she says. Very boring. I gave her a churro.

          • So way more boring than even mine, and mine pretty much consists of 80% chocolate and macaroni and cheese.

    • jesterpunk

      How is pho? I saw in on diners drive ins and dives and on one of the food paradise shows but have never tried it but it looks good. The only place near me that has it isnt a place you want to eat at.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        It’s delicious and warm. I eat rare/raw beef because I’m weird. If you do ever get Vietnamese food, I also highly recommend their barbecue beef and rice.

        • jesterpunk

          It doesnt taste fishy or anything does it? I saw they put some fish broth in it. I dont like any seafood but love Chinese and Asian food.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Not fishy at all! It can’t be too much broth because I’m allergic to any fish that’s not tuna in amounts much more than Worcestershire sauce.

          • jesterpunk

            Thanks, I am going to have to find a place to try it.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Soon the mind control will take effect *rubs hands together*…. I mean, I made my first food recommendation! C:

          • Jenny

            No, beef based broth simmered with anise and other spices. No fishies!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        As far as I’m concerned, it’s the food of the gods.

        • alwayspunkindrublic