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When we last checked in with our old buddy Sebastian Gorka, he was very busy doing NOT Nazi stuff. Like waving his spiffy new blue badge around the halls of the White House. And blocking people on Twitter. And hollering at college students. And polishing up his Hungarian medals. Which are a tribute to his father, and totally NOT in a Nazi way!

He was also insisting that he must be called DOCTOR GORKA. Because he heals the disease of Islamofascism??? We do not know.

But if we had a [coughcough]”doctorate,” rather than a DOCTORATE!!!, we might dial back the Otto von Bismarck act just a tick. But we are not superstar grifters, so don’t take our advice.

When DOCTOR GORKA looks in the mirror…

DOCTOR GORKA was born in England to Hungarian expats, but emigrated to Hungary in the early ’90s after the fall of Communism. Buzzfeed went to Hungary to shed some light on the good DOCTOR’S illustrious beginnings.

“A young man born in Britain, born to a Hungarian nationalist, who wants to return home and serve Hungary? This all would have sounded very well to me at the time.”

It didn’t always work out as planned. “Some people turned out not to be usable,” [former Defense Minister] Jeszenszky said.

According to Gabor Horvath, editor of a newspaper called Népszava, “anyone coming from the West during this time could get a government job based on this idea that Hungarians who’d grown up in the West were somehow more intelligent and better educated.

Back in London, DOCTOR GORKA was just a kid who’d majored in philosophy. But in Hungary, he was A Founder of Think Tanks, A Serious Political Figure and A Former Agent of Britain’s Intelligence Service MI6. OR, he was just a total bullshitter. In 2002, DOCTOR GORKA’s request for security clearance for a Hungarian parliamentary committee was denied.

The intelligence officer said the investigation for his security clearance did not believe Gorka was being candid. “These claims were not considered credible because by this point we understood that Gorka and many like him didn’t return to Hungary because of patriotism or skills but rather because they couldn’t be successful in the West, where they were born or raised, and thus wanted to come to Hungary,” the officer said. “So do we believe that he was an MI6 agent like he claimed? No, he’s not smart enough or well-trained enough.”

Well, DOCTOR GORKA knows where he’s not wanted! And September 11th, 2001, had given him a whole new plan for grifting: Hate the Muslims! Time for some failing upward in the the Land of Opportunity. And now the DOCTOR could market himself as an expert in how Islamofascism was destroying Europe, having been a high ranking figure in Hungarian politics AND an MI6 agent. Fake it ’til you make it, right Sebs?

There was only one thing missing. He’d already added the middle initial “V” when he pinkyswore allegiance to Vitézi Rend, who are totally NOT Nazis. But he needed some extra letters, to show he was a Serious Expert on the Muslim Sharia Islamo-Terror Crusades. So he buckled down and spent years studying with the best European minds.

LOLOLOL.

No, he hightailed it for the US where he barfed up some gobbledygook on SCARY MUSLIMS, cribbed a few passages from an article his wife had published a few years back, and shipped it back to Hungary to get washed appear before a dissertation committee. Errr… how about “dissertation committee”? Andrew Reynolds, an IRL Ph.D who teaches at the University of North Carolina did a little digging into the robust review process at Corvinus University in Budapest.

The dissertation is online and includes the ‘evaluations’ of three referees who each presented a page of generalized comments – completely at odds with the detailed substantive and methodological evaluations that I’ve seen at every Ph.D defence I’ve been on over the last twenty years.

Two of the three referees did not even have a Ph.D. One was the US Defense Attaché at the American Embassy in Budapest at the time, while the other was employed at the UK’s Defence Academy and just had a BA from Manchester University awarded in 1969. This ‘neutral’ examiner had published a book in Hungary with Gorka three years previously. While graduate students sometimes collaborate with their advisors the independent external examiners must have no nepotistic ties with the candidate. More important, a basic principle of assessing educational achievement is that your examiners have at least the degree level of the degree they are awarding. Undergraduates do not award Ph.Ds. In Gorka’s case the only examiner who lists a doctorate was György Schöpflin – an extreme right wing Hungarian Member of the European Parliament who recently advocated putting pigs heads on a fence on the Hungarian border to keep out Muslims.

Sounds legit! No wonder Breitbart hired this fount of wisdom! And now we all get to share in the benefits of his hard-won expertise. Sadly, it seems you have yet to be granted a security clearance. But surely it is just those Deep State Obama holdovers depriving the president of your wise counsel, the same as they sabotaged him by clearing General Flynn. But you serve your country by appearing on Fox News, Tweeting, and drinking coffee at the White House canteen. A grateful nation salutes you, DOCTOR GORKA! Gratulálok a diplomádhoz!

[Death and Taxes / Prof. Reynolds, UNC / Buzzfeed / LawyersGunsMoneyBlog / AdrianWeale.Com / WaPo / UK Telegraph]

Please give us money so we can buy fancy NOT Nazi medals and get jobs in the White House!

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  • Stulexington

    “DOCTOR GORKA does not have time for you haters! He is busy doing…something important!” I’m not sure exactly what but he was muttering “moar daka” under his breath.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He hates the scary Muslins. Qualifications aplenty for Il Douche

  • Wild Cat

    Life is just a bowl of goulash with swastikas . . . .

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Our DOK is more smarter than their DOC.

  • jaspersdad
  • goonemeritus

    Hilarious: Gorka insists media call him “Doctor.” Quick poll: How many actual PhDs out there make similar demands?

    Dok Zoom?

    • Wild Cat

      Doc Gooden?

    • memzilla Ω

      Doc Sider?

    • Wild Cat

      Doc Emerick?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Doc Martens?

    • UncleTravelingMatt
    • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

      Mr. Roboto?

    • Wild Cat

      Hickory-Dickory Doc?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Certainly not DOCTOR MADDOW.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Soon it will be His Excellency, Sir Zoom. That’s okay though.

    • laughingnome

      Doc Ellis – he earned it by throwing a no-hitter on LSD

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Dock Boggs?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Whatsup Doc?

    • Stulexington
    • jowgajen

      I put Dr. on stuff for my wife, who has a PhD in Clinical Psychology. We both find it amusing. No, her patients don’t call her Dr. In fact, mostly there’s not face to face Dr’ing, it’s more a thing you refer to someone in the third person as occasionally. But mostly they all call each other by their first names like normal people. And … the video that all Psych PhD students find hilarious between the tears:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZaLipDgFZQ

      • Cats for Clinton

        What’s that thing they do picking their butts off the chair and swooping it down again? Is this something clinical psych folks do?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Doctor Detroit?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Doctor Doctorgimmethenews?

    • Lizzietish81

      Doctor Venture

      • Bobathonic

        He’ll never get past Rusty.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Dr. Hitler?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      AOT,K?

    • Bobathonic

      Doctor No?

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Totally bullshit headline by WAPO. Shld have read:

      Say, Do You Know WHO ELSE Demands That You Call Them Dr?

      • Crank Tango

        All of them, K- no wait!

      • puredog

        Doctor Schmocktor?

    • Crank Tango
    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      My daughter. But the rule applies only to me.

    • JMP

      Dr. Doom was kicked out of grad school because of the accursed Richards, so where he got his PhD no one knows.

    • Rags

      Doctor J

    • GoutMachine

      Dr Pepper. Everyone knows he’s a pretentious prick.

    • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

      Doktor Mabuse?

    • Querolous

      Doctor Demento?

    • Querolous

      Dr. John Creaux,?

    • Querolous

      Doc Watson?

    • JCfromNC

      Geez, no one said The Doctor?

  • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

    Digging my new name!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    A fake PhD will blend in with the fake businessman and his family of fake policy wonks.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Nothing better than a white house full of these clash-of-civilization types. I have my own reservations about Islam (not Muslims, mind), but I fail to see how this kind of enabled bigotry can do anything but antagonize and alienate groups that are already suspicious of U.S. motives.

    • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

      There you go, using logic and reason. Just look at this picture, and tell me does this really look like a guy who is protesting the killing of his entire family by a brutal police regime and his imprisonment for asking “why”? or is he really looking to behead you and everyone you care about right now?

      That’s right,feel the reptilian part of your brain kick in. Now rip off your shirt and eat some meat!

      http://snappedshot.com/uploads/Intifada2006/capt.sri10209151139.india_kashmir_pope_protest_sri102.jpg

      • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

        A: protesting a brutal regime that killed his family.

        • Rags

          C. Cheering a goal by the Iranian soccer team on TV

          • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

            Did I pull the wrong photo? anyway if we want to understand conservatives we must abandon rationality and learn to act and not consider the larger picture.

  • msanthropesmr

    More.like Dorka, am I right?

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Yes, yes you are.

  • boyblue122

    What happens when Gorka and all his fake Doctor friends get together

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqrGxnLMTqA

  • Lizzietish81
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Hey, we can laugh, but–didn’t Strangelove’s original get called Dr. Kissinger?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Trump Administration is almost perfect at hiring fakes, grifters, traitors, plutocrats. Are there any actually skilled people hired by the Administration. Even one?

  • laughingnome

    Say, you know who else chose his advisers from a pool of racists, misfits, and charlatans?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Citizen Kane?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    If Gorka got past third grade, Little Donnie will not be able to tell if Gorka is an idiot or complete idiot.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “MI6 did you say? No, of course they’ve never heard of me. I was MI8 . . . them neither, huh? I meant MI. . .9? Yeah. MI9.”

  • Gorka is a bit like Dr. Doolittle. Not the doctor part but the do little part.

  • Wild Cat

    We should treat Doctor Gorka with repect. He is the 876,987,567th great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildchild of Ghengis Khan, for instance.

    • Bobathonic

      Aren’t we all? He was rather prolific…

  • goonemeritus

    So what you’re saying is the fledgling democracy of post Soviet ruled Hungary could spot this bull shitter but the Trump administration couldn’t?

    • DainBramage

      For Trump, bullshit is meat and potatoes.

    • GoutMachine

      Feature, not a bug.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Can we stop calling Dr. Oz a doctor, also too? PLZE?

    • JMP

      Dr. Phil also too.

    • mardam422

      But he’s still a wizard though, right?

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Just don’t stop calling DR. J DR J.
      Or Dr Dre

  • Swampay

    Last night I was at a concert where the director introduced himself as “Dr.” I don’t doubt that he’s got a PhD. But PhDs who introduce themselves as Dr? Are generally self-righteous pricks. PhDs who insist that YOU call them Dr? Yeah.

    You’d think someone (allegedly) smart enough to earn a PhD would have learned somewhere along the line not to be a dick about it.

  • Stulexington

    Two out of three references agree “I’m not a doctor.”

  • HogeyeGrex

    OT, but OMFG. Read the whole thread.
    https://twitter.com/Iron_Spike/status/857868428752953344

    Just read. I can’t even. What a tire fire.

    And seriously. If you pay 12k to see Blink182, you deserve what you get.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Ayup, the stupidry is thick on the ground there.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Even the name of the islands, I mean I had a dog with eczema, that was some nasty shit.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Looks like they’re gonna hafta exuma motherfucker offa there before this is over.

      • HogeyeGrex

        The schadenfreude kicks in when you look at the before and afters.
        https://twitter.com/dubsteppenwolf/status/857873673730052096

        • Snopes Shop

          that’s awesome news

    • Snopes Shop

      What the

    • jowgajen
    • Ha, the site is just an apology letter now.

      • HogeyeGrex

        I know. “Whoopsie!” You can archive.org it if you really want. It’s not that interesting.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      And to think that Jazz Fest just started in New Orleans. $80, with better food and better music.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Better booze. Better people.

        I need to wend my way back down some time again. I’m just worried it might take me years to get around to leaving, like last time.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Yeah you right!

  • Duke

    Having spent time in “extra college” and met many PhDs, I’m really unimpressed by the title. The PhD degree is really the domain of good students who don’t want to leave college.

    Insisting that you’re called “Doctor” is just being a self-important ass.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Drs Phil and Laura and Michael Savage take exception to this.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I know someone like this – he spent 20+ years getting degrees and fully experiencing the college life, he finally ended up with a useless PHd in something or other.

      Fast-forward 10 years and now he drives a cab because he is too over-qualified to work anywhere else and his high-school degree wife supports them financially. We call him “Dr Nelnet” behind his back because he owes about a zillion dollars in loans.

    • aureolaborealis

      Yes. It’s more often a measure of stubbornness, aggression and political savvy than of intelligence. And even though there are some very, very intelligent people with PhDs, there are also a lot of dolts. And I think the process of getting a PhD, especially where there are a lot of entrenched dolts involved, might even drive away a lot of the smarter candidates.
      The insistence on being addressed as ‘doctor’ is a sign of profound insecurity, at best. At worst, mental illness.

  • JMP
  • Rick Hill

    Maybe he just had a traumatic experience, it’s actually “a doctor ate” as in what happened to his bayubee

  • Bobathonic

    I was taught that PhD meant “post hole digger”.

    • Jamoche

      “Piled Higher and Deeper”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    There’s a media opportunity. Dr.* Gorka , (*) (alleged PhD, but not from accredited program and disputed by Hungarian government)

  • x111e7thst

    shake it don’t break it?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Herr Doktor Gorka can sit on it and spin.

  • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert
  • Stulexington

    Weird thought from a tired mind: if you’re both a doctor and a knigit, which title takes precedence? Do you use them both and if so what order: Sir Doctor or Doctor Sir?

    • BadKitty904

      Doctor Sir. And only because I know one.

    • Well, Colbert had Her Excellency The Rev. Sir Doctor Stephen Tyrone Mos Def Colbert, D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World✱✱ featuring Flo Rida La
      Premiere Dame De France. So he chose Sir Doctor.

  • BadKitty904

    Again with the giant forehead. What IS it with Republicans?

  • Rags

    I recall years ago someone asked Miss Manners whether they should use the honorific ‘doctor’ with a Ph.D.

    Her response was “a Ph.D. is just like a nose. One assumes everyone has one.”

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Daughter Thinker is a veterinarian. A real Doctor. She doesn’t ask anyone to call her “Doctor”.

      • subatomic

        “A real Doctor”. Not sure what that means. Is someone who spent 8 years in graduate school and 4-5 as a postdoctoral researcher and continuously pursuing research less deserving of respect?

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Nope. No less than she.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        She is a real Doctor. A much harder school to get in and finish than Medical School. And all of her patients speak a foreign language.

    • mailman27

      My old man had a PhD and insisted that only MD’s should be called “Doctor.” Very old school.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        The Chronicle of High Ed only calls MDs Doctor.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, he certainly has a P.H.D. (Piled Higher and Deeper) in BS.

  • George Burgess

    I’m starting to think that Trump doesn’t hire the best people.

    (I know he never did. Bullshitters attract other bullshitters. Because who will believe and support their bullshit.)

    • BadKitty904

      The fact he’s hiring ANYone is only because We the Taxpayers are paying for them.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    OT: Oh, joy. Let’s ramp up the theocratic chest-pounding, shall we?
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/858026906947661824

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Paperless Tiger

      Damn, another Freemason.

  • marxalot

    Loser.

  • LarryHoudini

    Andrew Reynolds should expect to get a angry phone call any minute now.
    https://youtu.be/PrrGz9L735s

  • Suddenly my Ph.D. in religion from the Universal Life Church of Modesto California doesn’t seem so crappy, does it?

  • BadKitty904

    Hmm… Gorka? What kind of a name is that? That ain’t no Kraut name is it, Stainesey?

    ~ Gen. ‘Buck’ Turgidson

    • marxalot

      But for the fact that Magyar resembles no other language spoken on the European continent (Finland isn’t attached), I’d say it means “bitter,” just like it does in Russian (“gorky”).

      • Werewolf

        Magyar is a Turkic language, not Slavic. Actually is related to Finnish.

        • marxalot

          Yes. That’s what I was saying.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            And we will cut a bitch before admitting to any Slavic blood. Linguistically speaking, of course.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Newsweek: Interesting read, with an audio:
    [EXCLUSIVE: LISTEN TO CONTROVERSIAL WHITE HOUSE TERRORISM ADVISER SEBASTIAN GORKA’S ANGRY CALL TO A CRITIC
    BY JEFF STEIN ON 2/23/17 AT 5:16 AM

    Updated | An embattled White House terrorism advisor whose academic credentials have come under widespread fire telephoned one of his main critics at home Tuesday night and threatened legal action against him, Newsweek has learned.

    Sebastian Gorka, whose views on Islam have been widely labeled extremist, called noted terrorism expert Michael S. Smith II in South Carolina and expressed dismay that Smith had been criticizing him on Twitter, according to a recording of the call provided to Newsweek.

    “I was like a deer in the headlights,” Smith, a Republican who has advised congressional committees on the use of social media by the Islamic State militant group (ISIS) and al-Qaeda, tells Newsweek. “I thought it was a prank. He began by threatening me with a lawsuit.”]

    http://www.newsweek.com/sebastian-gorka-white-house-terrorism-adviser-angry-call-559805?rx=us

    • Can’t go wrong with the classics!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      “Hey, is this Mike Hunt?” snicker, snicker (in Gorka faux accent)

  • MynameisBlarney

    Juuuuust in case any of y’all were still able to sleep…

    http://i.imgur.com/yNXcAAi.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      Well…initial response: They went from FUGLY to UGLY, so it’s definitely an improvement.

    • Vincent Ricola

      They all look 100% more attractive as women. Steve Bannon is my Jr.high softball coach.

    • SisterArtemis

      Gawd, they all look better.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Try it on KAC, please, pretty please, pretty please with sugar on it!!!111!!!!eleventy!!1

    • jerrrrrrrricho

      Jesus H. Everlasting Christ, that’s disturbing AF.

      *downs multiple tequila shots*

      brrrruuUUUUUUUuuuggggh

    • Lefty Frizzell

      ZEGS is a foxy minx with a cheeky little come-hither grin.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That statement is every kind of wrong and also funny as hell.

    • Christopher Story

      That one of Kushner. Wow.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Preboos looks like a 14 year old girl, lol

        • Christopher Story

          I was gonna say, he/looks like someone with whom I could’ve gone to highschool.

        • Creepoman

          Watch out, Reince – there’s a pair of tiny orange paws coming for dat azz!

      • Red Bird Ω

        Now you see what Ivanka sees in him, right? I mean totally, I get it.

        • Morningside

          And Evan.

    • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

      Gaaaaaah! *vomits for the second time on here today*

    • ok, middle row middle is pretty. Who dat is?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Giuliani, Kushner and Preibus.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Ben Carson looks like Stacey Dash’s older sister. Hmmm?

    • Red Bird Ω

      Who’s the one in the upper left?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Pence I think.

        • Nockular cavity

          Marcia.

          • The great achoo

            mitch mcconnell looks the same

  • Lefty Frizzell

    If your story is so transparent that Hungary and the UK see through it with while wearing shades on a foggy night, if your grift is so weak that a child could punch their way out of it like a wet paper bag, if your game is so laughable that England could beat it at soccer – never fear!

    The USA, never knowingly outsold in the credulous buffoon department, will welcome you with open arms!

    • Me not sure

      He may have been a “bud” in Buda, but he was a real pest in pest.

      • Paul Dietzel

        I’m sure you know that Budapest use to be two separate cities, “Buda” and “Pest”, across the river from one another but they were combined into one, hence your comment, but it’s always given me little chuckle.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    That’s “Her Ladyship the Baroness Von Countess Supreme High Commander Ms.MLG” to you, thank you very much!

    • Me not sure

      As you desire, your honorable worshipfulnessette, Ma’am!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        You may continue living!

        • Me not sure

          (Bows and backs out of the room mumbling thankfully.)

    • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

      I always thought the full title was Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III.

      • MynameisBlarney

        “But you can call me Dot”?

        • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

          ;)

          • MynameisBlarney

            That was the BEST damn cartoon.

          • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

            I KNOW! I loved the bit with the clown. Wakko was terrified of clowns and he had to say the affirmation that “Clowns aren’t going to turn into giant spiders and try to eat me.”

            I loved Chicken Boo, Pinky and the Brain, The Mr. Skullhead show. That was really a golden age for smart and funny cartoons.

          • You’re not a man, you’re a chicken boo

          • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

            LMAO! “I hear tell he’s a giant chicken!”

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Goodfeathers.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I liked Slappy Squirrel.

          • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

            I LOVED Slappy! The best was when she went to Woodstock and they did that “whose on first” bit.

            “The band!”
            “Who?”
            “The band on stage.”
            “Who?”
            “You see the band?”
            “The Band’s not even AT this concert!”
            LMAO!

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Polka Dot?

          Well, if you insist.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Your Ladyship, I am Air Commodore Lady the Honorable Anna Elizabeth, of Her Imperial Majesty’s Steam Airship Corps, at your Gracious service. *salute*

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        You are exactly the kind of warrior I’m looking for!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          As your Ladyship commands. My Squadron stands ready!

  • C4TWOMAN

    by this point we understood that Gorka and many like him didn’t return to Hungary because of patriotism or skills but rather because they couldn’t be successful in the West

    This is a common story of many people who feel marginalized. Some people work on themselves and try to learn enough skills to minimize the reason they’re marginalized. Others chose to look for a small pond where they can be a big fish.

    I was a geek growing up and like many nerds at the time, felt out of place. I wanted a place to belong, but in my head that never equalled a place that had no standards, nor was it an excuse to stop self improvement. I wanted to belong AND improve myself.

    OTOH my ex is a “very smart guy”, who is very critical and judgemental abut people who aren’t at his level yet, and talks a big game about improvement…but doesn’t do jack squat. Result? He’s in a progressively smaller, marginalized pond, where he’s considered high functioning, but his life goals have stagnated.

    Honestly, if he wasn’t a progressive, he’s got the thinking patterns of many reactionaries who blame EVERYONE else for their struggles. And when they do occasionally admit it’s a personal flaw, the idea it can be worked on and changed is alien: “What? We’re the tolerance?”

    TL;DR I think the right attracts these people who don’t or can’t or refuse to improve themselves yet AT THE SAME TIME feel entitled to the benefits of the improvement they don’t want to work on.

    It’s obviously a mentality not exclusive to the right, but IMHO the right encourages it.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Rock solid proof that ISP’s are selling your info…

    http://i.imgur.com/4By3877.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      LOL ohh, that’s too funny

    • Nockular cavity

      HEY! That’s my real name!

      • Melissabevans

        My last paycheck was $22500 for working 12 hours a week online.Start earning $97/hour by working online from your home for few hours each day with GOOGLE… Get regular payments on weekly basis… All you need is a computer, internet connection and a litte free time… Read more here
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    • IdRatherBeDancing

      LOL .. that name!! I’m still laughing.

    • Run2Live

      No prescription required when a #3 is all that’s needed to clear out that backlog of scrotum snot.

  • jesterpunk

    You know who is a real Doctor with a Real PHD?

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/5d/bd/79/5dbd79fcaeae2db8bf062aea586e4efb.jpg

    You know who isnt? Sebastian Gorka.

    • weejee

      And she’d just kill them in one-on-one basketball, too, also.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I think soccer was her sport. I heard her say that was how she got her first two concussions.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Fuck yeah. Classy enough she doesn’t need to ask someone to call her “doctor”.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  • weejee

    Piled higher and derper – ever so derp.

  • exinkwretch

    Betcha Gort-ka has a doctorate from the most august institution of higher learning in North America — Trump University!

  • jerrrrrrrricho

    A pretentious pseudo-intellectual ideologue with a fraudulent PhD?

    Say it ain’t so!

  • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

    Why does Gorka always look like he’s doing Sgt. Pepper from the darkest timeline?

    Oh! Right, because he is doing Sgt. Pepper from the darkest timeline.

    • JohnBull

      If you look closely at the bottom picture, Gorka is clearly a two-dimensional character, like Paul.

  • jesterpunk

    Gorka lied about his qualifications and his past? Boy I did Nazi that coming.

    • SadDemInTex

      Soviet, he always so Franco. ( I’m new to the pun wars).

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Gor, mann, give him a break!

        • Pisto75666

          Heil, who hasn’t lied about their past ?

        • mailman27

          Hitler? He hardly knew her!

  • TundraGrifter

    “Superstar Grifter?”

    You rang?

  • TundraGrifter

    Perhaps he got his “degress” from the same institution of higher learning where Mrs. Trump got her degree in architecture?

  • JohnBull

    He’s the “expert” on the Middle East despite not knowing at least elementary Arabic. Would you want an expert on American foreign policy who doesn’t speak English?

    • jaspersdad

      Who would want a president that doesn’t speak English?

      • Khavrinen

        “Speak”, or “understand”?

        • jaspersdad

          Why not both?

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        France?

      • Nockular cavity

        Enough people to win 307 Electoral College votes?

        • mailman27

          (The most ever)

      • phoenix00

        [unintelligible]

  • eggsacklywright

    Gorka, eh? Sounds like a Man From UNCLE villain.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Or a Warhammer 40000 deity.

      • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

        Gork (or Mork, who knows?) libelz!!1!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Emperor Preserve Us!

  • OrG

    Somebody needs to nazi-punch this asshole.

    • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

      With votes?

      • OrG

        Votes,fists,baseball bats…….whatever.

      • Jamoche

        Nazis are exempt from the rule – we can punch Nazis with punches.

        • Criminal Alien Jack Tenhet

          I don’t want to live in a world that doesn’t recognize my right to punch a Nazi. I punched enough Nazis to insure that right, as did my father before me and so-on.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Trump = Miller = Gorka = Bannon = Flynn = Conway = Sessions = 26% of America who voted for this freak show.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      It’s the usual thing, isn’t it? Poor people’s idea of a rich guy, morons’ idea of a smart guy.

    • OrG

      Freak show libelz!

      • H0mer0

        they are NOT “one of us!”

  • Jenny

    Well technically America is the place other country’s losers were sent because they couldn’t make it in their homeland…so uhhh welcome home “doctor” Gorka?

    • mancityRed6

      hey now, some of them were criminals*, too.

      *I don’t consider stealing food to feed your starving family (aka potato blight) to be a crime.

  • …How many foreign nationalists are in Trump’s White House anyway?
    I thought he wanted to save American Jobs, but he keeps hiring all this furrns!

    • Red Bird Ω

      Well you weren’t paying attention were you?

    • Immigrants always do the jobs Americans don’t want

      • Cliff Hendroval

        Ask Melania.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Don’t splash swamp water on my leg and tell me it’s drained.

    • The Wanderer

      He did drain it, and found Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock at the bottom.

  • Bitter Scribe

    A Trump intellectual turns out to be a fraud. What a surprise.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Those words don’t go together.

    • richardgrabman

      The words “Trump” and “intellectual” don’t belong in the same sentence. Or even paragraph.

  • subatomic

    What is up with all the disdain for Ph.Ds on the Wonkette non-comments section? Yes, there are plenty of idiots with Ph.Ds, but there are also a large fraction of Ph.Ds that chose to get one to contribute to society in leiu of pursuing more lucrative careers.

    • Daniel Mann

      That probably is not the case with Dr. Gorka.

      • subatomic

        Oh, I agree. Sounds like he has a bogus degree.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I don’t think that the disdain is for PhDs. I think the disdain is for a guy who claims the respect due someone who put in the work to earn one and doesn’t begin to deserve it.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    The blog Lawyers, Guns, and Money has from time to time posted parts of the plagerized sections of his thesis. Not exciting reading.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      for me, LGM is kind of like going with my cousin the classical musician to a PDQ Bach concert. I think it’s mildly amusing, he’s wetting his pants. I suspect if you’re an academic the stuff they’re posting is hilarious.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        They have interesting things from time to time. Could care less about football or battleships. Didn’t know PDQ Bach was still around.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, I don’t know if he is. It’s just a thing I did a few times that seemed relevant :)

          Although Scott is godawful boring about hockey.

        • Marty Jack

          Wikipedia says Peter Schickele is alive and aged 81.

  • hvdv

    Many of the tenure track dopes in my department insist on being called Dr. One of them even has his framed diploma on his office wall, like a strip mall podiatrist.

    • Suse

      I worked for a law firm which had several partners who were German or went to law school in Germany. They insisted on being called “Herr Doktor.” You can probably imagine what they were called behind their backs.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      Well, at least they actually have a doctorate…

      • hvdv

        Sorta. I guess.

  • SeeTrain65

    Turns out Tom Servo (Kevin Murphy) asked the same questions about someone else years ago, and they turn out to be even more appropriate.

    “Who are his blood enemies? What secret societies did he join? Does he smoke thin, black cigarettes and reject the Triune god?”

    (Approx. the 6:30 mark.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibUsglYe4r0

    • Suse

      I, too, aspired to become a Tea Room Manager.

    • The Wanderer

      “Iowa State – the high school after high school.”

    • Contemplative Ron

      ‘Look! Look! Look at my crotch!
      Look! Look! Look at my crotch!
      Look at my crotch!
      Look at my crotch!
      Look! Look! Look at my crotch!
      Looook… at my crotch! Yay!’

      • EKinDC

        True story my great aunt was in that film!

        • Contemplative Ron

          She’s famous now! I’ll bet more people saw that short on MST3K than ever watched it in school.

  • Poly_Ester

    Did he cite Dr. Kissinger or Dr. Strangelove for precedent?

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I used to know a weird old lawyer in Ann Arbor who insisted on being called “Dr.”

    • richardgrabman

      I knew one of those too.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    https://youtu.be/398HJb0_PFg Samantha Bee on Gorka

    • Strepsi

      She is a good journalist!

      • Gregory Brown

        She’s better than all of Fox.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I once worked in an office where a coworker got her Ph.D., and she insisted that the receptionist answer the office phone by saying “Dr. XX’s office.” She wasn’t the boss. It wasn’t her office. She “quit” about a month later. She was not missed.

    My father always said that B.S. stood for Bullshit, and M.S. stood for More Shit, and Ph.D. stood for “Piled Higher and Deeper” – but that was just his personal disgust with academia talking, because his professors took his undergrad research papers and printed them verbatim under their name without giving him credit.

    • Gregory Brown

      That’s called fucking plagiarism and can get someone fired.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Today it would, but not in1950 if the student was on the G.I. bill. American universities did not want to admit the G.I.’s, they fought that bill tooth and nail, and then they forced to admit them, they treated the G.I.s like scum. The G.I.’s did not fit the image of the rich, young, educated college boy from a distinguished family that most universities had at the time. The son of a coal miner or a share cropper did not fit the “Ivy League” image. The professors would give the G.I.s a “C” on a paper that they then plagiarized for a professional journal. Nobody did anything about it, and the G.I.’s didn’t dare complain. There was nobody to complain to. . . it was a closed club.

        The way they treat black students at American universities today. . . that’s how they treated the G.I.s back then.

        • Gregory Brown

          Very enlightening. Thanks for the info.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            WWII had a pretty amazing influence on culture, and some of the influences are rarely mentioned. Before WWII, the University of Missouri had no married student housing at all, and local landlords would not rent to married G.I.s. So the university built a trailer park – small, 1-bed cold-water trailers on a grassy field near the Dairy School, with no laundromat. They called it Dairy Lawn. My mother boiled water on the stove in a tiny trailer for 4 years to wash diapers for 2 babies while my father got his degree. Before WWII, many universities would not enroll married women, and nurses and teachers who got married had to quit working. That all began to change after WWII.

          • Gregory Brown

            Not to mention all the women who had been doing men’s work, and being well paid, suddenly being forced back into the kitchen as housewives, producing the frustration that Betty Friedan later documented at the dawn of the feminist age.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Very true. My mother was an Army nurse in WWII, and they were the first medical organization to allow married women to continue nursing, because so many of them married soldiers while in the Army, and they couldn’t afford to fire half their nursing staff in the middle of a war. It took several years after 1945 for hospitals to do the same, primarily under pressure from the married Army nurses who couldn’t get jobs. A big problem, however, was that there was no day care anywhere in the college town where my mother lived after WWII. None. Zip. The first one did not open until 1954, and it was only a half-day pre-school arrangement.

            I was watching “The Handmaid’s Tale” on Hulu last night. In 1946 my mother could not open a bank account or borrow money or buy property without my father’s written permission, and she could not get a nursing job because she was married, and if she got a job at an enlightened hospital, she couldn’t take it because there was no day care. She couldn’t use birth control because she was Catholic and would burn in hell if she did. It was not unlike the dystopian future in “The Handmaid’s Tale” without the militarization and the physical torture.

          • Gregory Brown

            Like the Handmaid’s Tale, eventually with a new fridge TV, and washing machine and an age of conformity.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            A dishwasher was my mother’s vulnerable spot. How she hated washing dishes. So do I.

  • ken_kukec

    Is it true that the real-life Dr. Strangelove inspired the fictional “Dr.” Sebastian Gorka in this shit-show flick?

    • RepubAnon

      I’m thinking that Gorka and The Master ( of Dr Who fame) were separated at birth…

      • Contemplative Ron

        Damn, I need to read down.

  • dshwa

    I have a doctorate, and nobody calls me Dr. Possibly because I tell them to fuck off if they do.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Same here and I had to bust my ass researching for three years to get it.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I have one as well. I only demand they call me Dr. If they call me an asshole or similar. I quickly remind them that it is “Dr. Asshole” to them.
      I got mine to be faculty.

    • unclejeems

      Well, I’m not the kind of doctor who does anybody any good.

      • Regret

        So… Philosophy?

        • unclejeems

          Yep, and in political science, so . . .

    • FurryCaterwauling

      Frequently, the more someone with a PhD insists on using the title “Doctor,” the less relevant their PhD is to the situation. I ran across one of these educated imbeciles yesterday. I won’t begrudge someone their degree, but when I have a problem with foundation settlement, I’m not going to consult someone with a PhD in divinity.

      • Gregory Brown

        There are some who follow the traditional bullshit PhD route: BS (BullShit), MS (More of the Same), PhD (Piled Higher and Deeper).

  • sadboy

    Take a lead from Doctor Gorka and Professor Fether. Just what you need to make you feel better.

    (Apologies to Alan Parsons Project and Edgar Allen Poe)

  • Contemplative Ron

    Funny… he CALLS himself ‘Doctor’ but doesn’t he look like the Master? http://www.bbc.co.uk/staticarchive/0a9945a50e6fc88fe3be51f297f06cfd57ab3577.jpg

  • 3FingerPete

    How many actual PhDs out there make similar demands?

    Well…there was this one chick…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/45793458d798840f4ece052da74228f9a42c75278feb81dc2c50cde67d6251f2.jpg

  • Grokenstein

    Benedict Cumberbatch won’t be playing him in the movie, that’s for sure.

  • Mavenmaven

    He added the letter V but is more likely to star in the remake of “M”.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Grifters gonna grift. This motherfucker is no different. He just does it with a British accent.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño
    • (((Aron)))

      BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • Opi Quest

    Gorka was on UK talkradio LBC on Thurs boasting about Trump’s 100 Days. After 12 minutes Nick Ferarri, host, sandbagged him with questions about “Doctorate” and being a FAKE DOCTOR. Oh, how we laughed.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Maybe she should get an honorary doctorate in National Socialism from Trump U.

  • Serolf Divad
  • Jeff Greer

    Fuck these people.

    FUCK THEM WITH FIRE, FROM ORBIT!

    • (((Aron)))

      It’s the only way to be sure.

  • John Lo

    And all this time, from Truman through Trump, (LOL, now you know how fucking old I am,) we thought the WH was filled with smart informed honest folks. (Maybe a bit overstated, but whatever.)
    Fact may be, Trump, Gorka, Bannon, Miller, Bannon, Miller, Gorka, fucking now repeating myself because I can’t believe these asses are actually walking the hallowed halls of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue … whatever again, but now methinks that it’s appropriate that these Nazi’s, traitors, thugs, assholes, thieves, women-haters, child-molesters, fuck, I’ve run outta adjectives, are in charge. If this won’t make real Americans come to their senses, wake up and get out and vote in Red states, I don’t know what will. (BTW, I fucking hate the LOL acronym.)
    Okay, I’m done now.

  • EddieFrancis

    everyone is entitled to be treated with respect, even Doctor Smegma

    • (((Aron)))

      That’s HERR Doctor Smegma to you!

    • meh

    • thixotropic jerk

      Everyone is entitled to be treated with the respect
      they deserve which is
      zilchō in this poseur’s case!

  • i’mjustaskingthequestion

    Faking faker who fakes. Got into a comments battle with some dude who didn’t think I was being charitable enough with this guy after I found out about his “expertise”. Thought I was employing the same tactics as the ultra-right by unfairly painting this guy as a total fuckwad (I only employ the “truth-language” here, I add a ton of wax and a thick coat of veneer when share with snowflakes).

    I can’t stand this douche (my new favourite swear). This guy couldn’t think his way out of an open door, and he is sucking off the taxpayers teat by pretending. Fuck this guy. Little pissant gets his knickers twisted when ever he is challenged about is lack of…cognitive ability…by undergrads like me…hahahahahahahaha!!!

    trump should be proud. He’s actually head and shoulders above any president in the past when it comes to building the most ignorant administration in the history of history.

    Douche.

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