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Not your usual hardhats

In the wee hours of Monday morning in New Orleans, workers wearing flak jackets and military-style helmets, with balaclavas over their faces to protect their identity, removed the first of four monuments to the Confederacy that the city council voted to get rid of in 2015. The military-grade armor, supplemented by snipers on nearby rooftops, was deemed a necessary precaution for the workers after death threats were made toward contractors. Just to be on the safe side, even the name of the company on the sides of the trucks hauling the monument away was covered up with cardboard, because some people really, really love the losing side in the U.S. Civil War — which, as you know, was only about tariffs and states’ rights.

The big ugly obelisk taken down Monday commemorated the “Battle of Liberty Place,” a failed 1874 coup by white supremacists during Reconstruction, and included this cheery inscription remembering — with lots of heritage but no hate at all — what a terrific time for white supremacy that was:

Can’t imagine why anyone would have had a problem with that. Rachel Maddow offers this brief historysplainer:

New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, who seems to think New Orleans is more about diversity than white supremacy, has called this monument the “most offensive” of the four statues slated for removal, possibly because he doesn’t understand how important heritage is to some people. Heck, that original inscription was later covered by a plaque mentioning “Americans on both sides” who died during the fight, which made the thing OK, didn’t it?

The Liberty Place monument and the three other monuments that will be removed in the near future — statues of Jefferson Davis, Gen. P.G.T. Beauregard, and Robert E. Lee, who never even came to Louisiana but is somehow an absolutely vital part of the city’s history to some people who aren’t hateful at all — will be placed in storage and may eventually be placed in a museum, according to a statement from Landrieu’s office.

“Relocating these Confederate monuments is not about taking something away from someone else,” Landrieu said in his statement. “This is not about politics, blame or retaliation. This is not a naive quest to solve all our problems at once. This is about showing the whole world that we as a city and as a people are able to acknowledge, understand, reconcile — and most importantly– choose a better future.”

“We can remember these divisive chapters in our history in a museum or other facility where they can be put in context — and that’s where these statues belong,” Landrieu concluded.

Nonetheless, some people made quite a show of explaining that this was really about Communists trying to sap and impurify the city’s precious bodily fluids, as these nice protesters made clear:

“This is communism!” shouted one history buff at the protest. “This is what they did pre-World War II!” — clearly a reference to that time when Adolf Hitler, the communist, removed all Germany’s public tributes to white supremacy.

Corey Stewart, a Minnesota-born Confederacy-admirer seeking Virginia’s Republican nomination for governor, Tweeted about how carefully taking down monuments to white supremacy and storing them for eventual placement in a museum is exactly like terrorists blowing them up:

Oh, that “Despicable!” right at the end is a nice Trumpian touch. Congratulations on your crappy analogy. Maybe we should start bombing construction workers.

Lots of civic-minded folks on Twitter were terribly, terribly worried that the city was wasting resources on doing one thing for a few hours while the city has such a high murder rate:

Note: the top one is NOT our esteemed colleague Tom Boggioni (“TBogg” without an “s”)

Not everyone found that a very convincing argument, because crying “how can you focus on a statue when there are murders for the contractors to solve?” doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense:

Some lovers of heritage-not-hate on Twitter were simply aghast that the people taking down the monument were so heavily armored, because what are we, a police state now?

All that police presence and secrecy, for no reason whatsoever! Unless maybe you include trivial details like the fact that the contractor who initially accepted a contract to take down the monuments found his $200,000 Lamborghini torched outside his house in the middle of the night in January 2016, and immediately backed out of the contract.

The contractor’s employees had also received death threats, although to be fair to fans of the Confederacy, it’s entirely possible the car was torched by some anarchist who doesn’t like contractors with fancy cars. That’s a totally plausible alternate suspect. Or maybe radical Ferrari fans.

Plenty of people in New Orleans are perfectly happy to see the Confederate monuments go; for a nice thinky-piece on the real historical significance of taking down these tributes to white supremacy, see this Times-Picayune op-ed arguing that the monuments themselves were a despicable revision of history in pretending the Civil War was a noble fight for freedom and self-determination — for a bunch of slaveholders. Says columnist Jarvis DeBerry,

Apparently, the crime of rewriting history is far worse than the crime of being a warmongering, secessionist white supremacist. The crime of rewriting history, to hear the monument-huggers tell it, is offensive in a way that slaveholding is not and treason is not and the decision to elevate and honor slave-holding traitors is not.

But the real revisionism, he says, was embodied by the monuments themselves, erected after Reconstruction to help advance the lie of the Noble Lost Cause, depicting the integrated city government as “usurpers” and lionizing the brave racist insurrectionists who tried to murder as many as possible.

Or if you want to summarize the monuments in a Tweet, this one works just fine:

Maybe a nice pizza party to say “You tried!” would satisfy the neo-Confederates.

Yr Wonkette is supported by readers like you! Please click the “Donate” linky below the article. No Confederate dollars, please.

[NYT / NOLA.com / Salon / HuffPo / NOLA.com]

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  • Anna Elizabeth

    Good riddance to Hateful trash. Suck it, Confederacy. Losers. Butthurt Sheet-wearing Jizzstains.

    KTHXBAI,

    Yankee Rose Anna

  • Ezio
    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      I think I was like two seconds behind you. Great minds and all.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It cannot be posted too often for my tastes. :)

  • dslindc
    • georgiaburning

      Good burn!

      • schmannity

        Not as good as yours, General.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yeah. I had relatives in the Waffen-SS, and Ancestors in the Texas Militia, but I don’t display the flags either believed in.

    • PubOption

      The comma after people looks a bit suspect.

  • Mpeg

    ♪ “Ding, dong, The Confederate statue’s dead!” ♪
    Oh, wait…

    • Proud Liberal

      Too bad the ideology didn’t die with it.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Point of Order, as a Tifosi I wouldn’t piss on a Lamborghini, but neither would I damage one.

    Much better to “burn” them on the street or the track.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Seems to me that owning one of those is its own punishment.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Indeed! XD

        How many Formula One World Championships have Lamborghini won? Lamborghini sells cars because their founder hated Il Commendatore. Ferrari sells cars because Il Commendatore wanted to finance his racing team.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Lamborghini doesn’t have much of a racing heritage. Lambos are mostly purchased by fat, effete poseurs who think they look cool driving them. Can you guess who used to own one?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/593ca70a09e844c6d450cd4a64f77bf3791310d60f41ed38f673afbbd41b2575.jpg

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yep, not surprised one iota. XD

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I had no idea Cheeto Benito could drive.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m super proud of my pal Pippa Mann, who just inked a deal to run Super Trofeo. Not that she’ll let me drive her Lambo. Phooey.
      https://twitter.com/sportscar365/status/856856268161646593

      • Anna Elizabeth

        There are some fucking pricks on that @Wayne Taylor Racing. I hope Alonso shoves their fucking attitude up their asses.

        But props to Pippa! :)

  • exinkwretch

    Why couldn’t Jefferson Beauregard Session, namesake of two of these glorious works of art and newly-minted Attorney General of the Confederate States of America, have put a stop to this?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Yeah, but let’s talk some more about the “intolerance of the left”.

  • memzilla Ω

    More and more, I wish Abraham Lincoln had said: “Oh, you want to leave the Union? Fine. Henceforth, the United States will no longer enforce the Fugitive Slave Act, nor allow your agents to enter into the United States. Furthermore, any slave who crosses the Ohio River, or the Mason Dixon Line, or otherwise enters into the United States is a free person. Have a nice time bankrupting yourself as you try to police your 30,000 miles of border to try and stop you losing your unpaid labor force which is the only way you can run your farkakte single-export economy.”

    • Me The People

      They’d probably have got absorbed into Mexico eventually if it had gone that way.

      • memzilla Ω

        lol still not seeing the downside.

    • coozledad

      I wish Abraham Lincoln had had access to primitive aircraft and a bunch of napalm.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Well, hot air balloons were used during the civil war for reconnaissance.

        http://www.civilwar.org/photos/galleries/civil-war-ballooning/slides/balloon-over-vienna-virginia-2.jpg

        • coozledad

          I’d have washed out of flight school from shitting myself about the whole idea.

        • ltmcdies

          not particularly hard to spot are they

          • C4TWOMAN

            But remember everything was slower then. And without air craft, there were only so many ways to get from X to Y. So a peek on high would be a great advantage, just not a stealthy one.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Greek Fire has been around for a long time, too.

      • aureolaborealis

        Easy enough to get there. Hard to get far enough away (in a wagon), once the fuse is lit.

    • C4TWOMAN

      THIS.

      I have no problem with the war if it needed to be fought, but trying something like this first is always worth a shot. Maybe it was? I’m not an expert about this point in history. Maybe the South had aggressive plans and Lincoln had to act faster than he liked to keep territory?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Let’s not forget, their single-export economy was poised to take a serious hit as all but the shittiest customers would have soon walked away from products produced by slave labor (like most of Europe). Those willing to do business with them would have been in great position to call the shots on pricing.

  • Michael R

    The monument the night before a David Duke rally in 2004

    ( David Duke canceled his rally )

    https://s24.postimg.org/vsafdoajp/nazi_obelisk.jpg

  • Proud Liberal

    Thank you, Mayor Landreiu. May the last vestiges of the Confederacy die!

  • Ezio

    Only in 2017 can removing a monument dedicated to racist white men staging a coup against the government be considered “ISIS winning” by Wingnuts.

    Corey Stewart, check your priorities.

    • Proud Liberal

      Let’s face it. America is coming apart at the seams. The future does not look bright….

    • coozledad

      The icing on the cake is the dumb fucker is from Minnesota. Confederate Yankees are the worst.

      • Ezio

        I’ve seen the Confederate flag as far north as upstate NY.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I saw it on pickups in West Virginia. Talk about clueless.

        • coozledad

          Yup. It only means one thing. It’s the original Nazi flag that flew over the vast concentration camp of the south.

  • mackafritz

    These same assholes who are supposed to be uber patriots love the flag and monuments of traitors to the US. It’s a wonder that the dissonance hasn’t torn a hole is the fabric of space-time.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin
  • Chadwells

    Removing anything with the name Beauregard is good in my book.

  • schmannity

    Let’s compromise. Replace all of the statues with Lee surrendering to Chamberlain and Grant. It’s got both history and tradition–defeat and losing.

    • Michael R

      I’m picturing spanking

      • schmannity

        Stay on topic!

    • Chadwells

      This is actually a southern documentary about how they see it:

      https://youtu.be/yeZ0mDdOfV4

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    These are the same assholes who go purple with apoplexy seeing Mexican-Americans celebrating their heritage on Cinco de Mayo by eating carne asada, drinking Tecate, and listening to norteno music.

    • Ezio

      The most ironic thing is when people with Irish or Italian surnames are complaining about there being a Black History Month or complain about people identifying as Mexican-American.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “I’ll fight to the death for my right to drink myself into a public stupor on St. Patrick’s day!”

        • Ezio

          Some guy in NY: *Has a big bumper sticker with the Italian flag*

          Same guy in NY: Ey why is all deze Porta Ricans celebratin bein’ Porta Rican why can’t dey be AMERICAN.

      • Oblios_Cap

        One of my Italian-Americans friends bitches because there is not national Italian-themed holiday other that National Genocide Columbus Day. I tell him it’s not much better being Irish, what with St. Patty’s Day being a celebration of the Irish being slacker puking drunks.

        • Ezio

          My Italian born father can’t stand Italian Americans. They swarm around him at work because he’s “an authentic Italian” but he only goes to their clubs or whatever so he can take their free food.

        • Ezio

          I also find it funny how Italian Americans whine about being stereotyped as mobsters in movies but then have no problem celebrating a genocidal slave trader to represent their heritage.

          Isn’t San Gennaro enough? Why do you need a national holiday?

          • Oblios_Cap

            Hey, I like the Godfather movies!

          • Ezio

            I do too. And Goodfellas. I guess I’m just a self hating paisano.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Keep the cannoli, Ezio!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        St. Patrick’s Day. Columbus Day.

        Right. Sure. Gotcha.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          7 freaking days of a traffic blocking Italian Festival here in my area.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Cinco de Mayo is a thing in two places: Vera Cruz and the United States. The rest of Mexico is like ‘meh’.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        But it’s a fun-ass celebration here, with the above enticements I mentioned. Plus raping and beheading white people, of course.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Do you have to pay extra for the beheadings, or is it all inclusive?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, the event as a whole is free, but you gotta pony up 5 bucks a pop at the Beheading Booth.

    • Banrion

      These are the same assholes who see Puerto Rican flags hanging from rearview mirrors and have a conniption about ‘foreigners.’

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If white supremacists were really so superior, you’d think they’d have moved beyond the need for offensive racist statues.

    Unless the whole point is to be offensive… hmm…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I love pointing out that most of the monuments were erected after Reconstruction…the whole POINT was one giant “fuck you” to African-Americans. And the beloved Confederate flag? Didn’t become an icon until the Civil Rights era.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Now it’s used by neo-Nazis in Germany as a stand in for the Hackenkreuz, which is prohibited by law.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          I remember back in the 70’s, right wing extremists using it in the UK. As a writer in the New Musical Express said at the time, it was the “acceptable swastika.”

  • Nounverb911
    • dslindc

      Those are some hot cars!

      I’ll show myself out.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I should have scrolled down before posting.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Still funny. :)

    • wait! what?

      Alternative ending to “7 Psychopaths.”

      A monk is driving a Lamborghini…

  • Oblios_Cap

    If they’re so fair-minded, where’s the statue of Sherman at LSU?

  • memzilla Ω

    Anytime someone gives me the old “states’ rights” canard, I agree with them: “Yes, the right of states to let their citizens BUY AND SELL PEOPLE LIKE FUCKING CATTLE.” The I quote them The Cornerstone Speech, by Confederate Vice President Alexander Stephens, delivered ONE MONTH before Fort Sumter: “Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner- stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition.”

    As for those mouthbreathers still unconvinced, you know who ELSE says the Civil War was about slavery? The Head of the History Department at the United States Military Academy at West Point. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcy7qV-BGF4

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Direct anyone using that argument to read the original articles of secession by various slave states. They made it absolutely clear that it was all about their “rights” to hold other human beings as property.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck, yes, as far as the traitors at the time were concerned, it was all about slavery. After they got their worthless traitor asses kicked, they started to sing a new fucking tune, the idiotic “States’ Rights” argument, which they actively fought against when it involved fugitive slaves.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The state’s right they cared about was the right to own people.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right wing peckerwoods: Reinventing history since 1865.

        • Banrion

          peckerwood is one of my favorite insults, and not used round these parts much.

  • Nounverb911
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      He’s such an asshole. He showed up to whine about our Lee monument in Charlottesville, which the City Council voted to move, sell, get otherwise rid of. We all just love his inserting himself into local politics. I guess he’s gaining points with the racists who want to choose him in the Virginia GOP primary for Governor, but we overwhelmingly librul folks in my city would like him to STFU and leave us the hell alone.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Speaking of the primary, how is the Perriello v. Northam fight shaping up?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Liz Warren just endorsed Perriello, so that’s going well. He already had the Sanders nod.
          Perriello was ahead in fundraising for the first quarter and just pulled ahead (very slightly) in the latest polls. I’m very much a Perriello supporter. He’s young, energetic, progressive (but smart about just how far one can push that philosophy). Northam is old school Dem. He’s relying on the party faithful to show up when the time comes. He hasn’t reached out to progressives and no doubt would tell you he doesn’t have to. Northam has been traveling less than Perriello and doesn’t capture many headlines. It’ll be interesting to watch how this shakes out. It’ll come down to who has the best GOTV effort.

  • nightmoth

    Wow! That inscription was a hell of a twisted history lesson.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Winners write the story. “His”story

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Up next: sandblast Stone Mountain. It’s time for the adoration of Confederate scum to end.

  • Belasaurius

    I brought popcorn to share, Are the Neo-Confederates here?

    • Isaac Heston

      No…We kicked their asses once and thought it was too much for them.

    • MynameisBlarney

      There’s one so far, lol.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: sort of off topic, I guess, since white supremacists have mad Putin love these days.

    https://twitter.com/UaNews_online/status/856885034111836160

  • MynameisBlarney

    Stupid fucking rednecks.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Lamborghinis and Ferraris don’t necessarily need anybody’s help to go up in flames. Just sayin’.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d9e5e7178a2eb248775f2bc272ec39a7e1e8ef1208d7174474b60ed596a786de.jpg

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Hey, to that Corey Stewart shitbird who tweeted “Nothing is worse than a Yankee telling a Southerner that his monuments don’t matter”? You’re wrong, Douche. I’ve had your mother. She was worse.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Ya’ Burnt, Redneck! XD

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Just doing my part to elevate the conversation. I’m sure Liz Spayd would be proud of me.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I know *I* am. :)

    • Ezio

      He’s from freaking Minnesota. Isn’t he a “yankee” too?

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        But he’s running for office in the South so he has to present himself as the good kind of Yankee.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Poor dears. It must be terrible seeing a white phallic symbol being taken down.

  • rosenbomb

    Driving through Winnemucca, NV the other day, I saw a guy selling a bunch of blankets from the side of the road. One of them was a Confederate Flag blanket. It baffles me that people in the West buy that shit…you can’t hide behind the weak “history and heritage” argument, so all that’s left is you being a racist asshole.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Racist asshole” has always actually been what it’s all about. Can you imagine a bunch of Germans getting away with waving a Hackenkreuz as “heritage”? Neither can the vast majority of Germans.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “I’m a Celt. Why are you complaining that I’m going to burn you in a giant wicker statue? It’s part of my heritage!”

  • Ricky Gay

    Maybe a nice pizza party to say “You tried!”
    –Why not, they’re all a bunch of little Caesars​ anyway!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Much like the Korea war, the American Civil war has never really ended, has it?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Sort of like WWI – they weren’t utterly humiliated. You see how that worked out.

    • vivian

      That’s the problem with “civil” wars – they never really end.

    • Oblios_Cap

      How did the job thing go?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        still waiting for the final verdict. Recruiter said I would hear more beginning of the week but I know how busy both directors are so I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes a little longer. However, Thursday is a national holiday here. Kings day and most people are wrecked the day after so I kinda expect to hear the answer tomorrow.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Do you all wear orange?

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Most peopele wear something with orange in it but I wouldn;t say we all dress like Cheeto’s spray tan. :D
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wdjwp-rB7E

          • Oblios_Cap

            Well, good luck on the job front!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I don’t know how comparable it is to Korea beyond that, but no, it never really ended.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The sequel appears to be starting. I love how the media says N. Korea is provoking the US, because we certainly seem to be doing our best to piss them off.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yes, they just refuse to accept it.

  • wait! what?
    • jesterpunk

      They should have.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    this cheery inscription remembering — with lots of heritage but no hate at all — what a terrific time for white supremacy that was

    Jesus. Fucking. Christ…

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Geez, right-wingers thrashing about and howling and carrying on about the plight of the Oppressed White Man and how they’re the Real Victims.

    That’s new. Or not.

    It’s a fascinating trajectory. First, traitors take up arms against their own country, and lose the war.

    They then go more or less underground for the next eighty years, if you don’t count the whole reign of terror, racism, and segregation. They shed a lot of innocent blood, and sucked up an infinitude of federal dollars while the rest of the country tried to dig them out of the feudal hole they were in.

    I mean, think about it. We damn Yankee taxpayers have spent a shit-ton of money on the traitor South.

    Just as one example among many, when WWII began, the American taxpayer had to shell out untold billions merely to improve the dental, nutritional, physical, and mental health of white Southern draftees who were coming into the service toothless and suffering from diseases of malnutrition. In their teens.

    Let’s not even get into the road building and the dams and the land reclamation projects and all. Let’s just remember that we saved a generation of poor Southern white Master Race boys from rickets and from having to live out their lives gumming their goddamn food. And we taught a lot of them to read and write, as well.

    Anyhow, having betrayed us and then turned themselves into a nightmare racist shadowland, in response to the post-war rise of racial decency and policies of justice and equality, they decided to exploit their own history of treason as a colossal Fuck You to real America, including to all of us who subsidize them with our tax dollars.

    They did this by putting up ugly statues and flying enemy flags to celebrate their own vileness and their own considerable, slimy sedition. And the impact has been such that–as the Republican Party has become a Confederate Party, and as the deranged racist animus of the segregated South has become the core of the national GOP–you can see those treason flags flying from pickup trucks and junkyard flagpoles in all 50 states, and I’ve got Republican neighbors who’d gladly substitute statues of Robert E Lee for those stupid garden gnomes they’ve got right now.

    In other words, Southern treason has risen again. Time these seditionists were put in their place.Past time, in fact, by a good century-and-a-half.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      In their defense, being a toothless, illiterate morons kept them from being drafted for a bit.

  • Ezio

    When your heritage is literally a piece of cloth designed to represent the subjugation of an entire group of people then you must have a lame heritage.

    • Contemplative Ron

      And the wrong one at that.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Dear Confederate Flag loving dumbfucks,
    Your side lost. Get the fuck over it. They were traitors and they started a war against the UNITED FUCKING STATES over the right to own people.
    That’s what that flag you slack-jawed sister fuckin morans sport chubs over represents.
    Treason, slavery, ignorance and hate.
    That is the heritage of that fucking rag.

    Fuck all y’all anti-American fucktards.
    Sincerely,

    Blarney, a REAL American Patriot.

    • Ezio

      Good point. Where the hell do these people get off calling themselves patriots when they fly the flags of people who took up arms against the United States?

      • MynameisBlarney

        I know, they are too fucking dense to get it.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        There seems to be two contrasting lessons Americans learned from the Revolution. Liberals and the North derived that we’re allowed to rebel against the government when it acts without our consent or input. The South and conservatives seemed to take that they’re allowed to rebel against the government if and when it does something they don’t like.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Like teaching evolution in public schools? And allowing gay students to attend?

    • David Chaillou

      “Your side lost. Get the fuck over it.” You sound exactly like the Trump trolls in the forums.

      • vivian

        Except this in this instance supported by fact, not wishful thinking.

        • David Chaillou

          The principle is the same, a not too subtle application of the morally bankrupt idea that might makes right, and only winners have rights.

          • vivian

            Tell ya what, if we’re still arguing about this in 160 years, you’re right.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No offense, but this is some serious false equivalency here.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That is a bunch of fuckin’ bullshit right there.

          • David Chaillou

            No. This “I won so shut up” is rude AND stupid. You should have stuck with “you were wrong so shut up”.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Read the REST of the fucking post or STFU.

          • David Chaillou

            What makes you think I didn’t?

          • vivian

            Reading comprehension fail?

          • David Chaillou

            Don’t kid yourself.

          • vivian

            Nah, that’s your racket.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Because you seem to be stuck on the 1st two sentences.

          • David Chaillou

            They say in any enterprise beginnings are crucial, for they set the tone for the whole venture.

          • vivian

            They also say “when you’re in a hole, stop digging”.

          • Venture? It’s a comment post.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Apology accepted, numb nuts

          • David Chaillou

            Ta mère en short devant prisunic, boloss.

          • MynameisBlarney

            You suck at insults, lol.

          • David Chaillou

            Gotta keep a sense of proportion.

          • vivian

            That would be a self-contradictory post unless you are trying hard to lose this argument.

          • David Chaillou

            I won so shut up pisses me coming from Trump trolls but I find it just as dumb in the mouth of Wonkette wonkers.

          • zerosumgame0005

            it is a bot and only wants to disrupt and distract

          • MynameisBlarney

            Unfortunately for you, you do not get to tell me what to do, Cupcake.

          • David Chaillou

            No. But I get to tell you that you would fit right in at Breitbart.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Good goawd, you’re even dumber than I originally thought.
            I went there once and got the banhammer within 10 seconds.

            So, fail troll remains fail.

          • David Chaillou

            Boaster.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Okaaaay…
            I’m done with you. Your lack of intelligence and imagination have become tedious.
            Good day.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            Shorter David Chaillou: “I can win any argument by taking words out of context.”

          • David Chaillou

            Admit it. Those words do sound like a trump troll. Anyway, too many unnecessary fucks in Blarney ‘s comment.

          • vivian

            Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Feel better?

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            I for one fucking do. Took the fucks right out of my mouf.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Fuckin’- What the fuckin’. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking… How did you two fucking fucks…
            Fuck!

          • MynameisBlarney
          • zerosumgame0005

            STOLEN! and thanks :)

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            David Chaillou: “My dear young man, don’t take it too hard. Your work is ingenious. It’s quality work. And there are simply too many fucks, that’s all. Just cut a few and it will be perfect.”

            MynameisBlarney: “Which few did you have in mind, Majesty?”

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL

          • There are no unnecessary fucks. Every one is sacred.

          • David Chaillou

            Or wasted.

          • vivian

            I never fuck wasted. That one of my principles. Actually, it’s precambrian. Fucking while wasted produces mutants. The mutants later show up in online threads making tired sanctimonious arguments.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Are you fucking kidding me? If vulgarity makes you grab your smelling salts and the nearest fainting couch, you’re in the wrong fucking place.

          • David Chaillou

            Not the vulgarity. The attitude. We won so shut up.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            “we” didn’t win. Humanity did. Give it a rest.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            PSA – Never, ever, ever watch, “The Boondock Saints.” You might not survive.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Pretty major difference when one victory was heavily disputed and quite relevant to the political landscape, and the other ended in total victory and was over 150 years ago.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          And involved a victory over those who fought for the cause of holding humans as property.

          • David Chaillou

            So if the South had won, that would have made slavery right ?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I really don’t get what it is you’ve got your knickers in a twitch about on this. I don’t want to be a dick about it, so I’ma just let it go.

          • vivian

            Do you work in a straw horse factory? What is the point of all this? That Blarney was rude? Heaven forfend! 160 years of whinging about losing and promising that one day the South will rise again warrants more than a little ridicule.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Both sides do it!!!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Are you fucking serious?
            What a stupid fucking question.
            Fuck off with that concern troll bullshit.

          • Concern troll is very concerned.

        • David Chaillou

          Look, I am not a confederacy apologist. But Blarney’ s rant is both rude and beside the point. Losing the war is not what makes the confederacy’s position morally condemnable.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Politeness is probably pearls before swine when it comes to neo-Confederates. And I take the statement that they lost the war as more of a reminder to said neo-Confederates that they should stop acting like they won and are thus able to impose white supremacy on everyone. They, in fact, lost, and do not have that right and might as well STFU about it.

          • David Chaillou

            How many neo-confederate are likely to read a comment on Wonkette? My concern was more for southerners who like their country despite its checkered history.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Think of it this way: the rest of the country is forced to retread this ground over and over and over and over again because white Southerners keep trying to oppress people of color and generally picking at the festering wound that is the Civil War. You’ll have to forgive us some exasperation.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s not “their” country, it’s all of ours. And they’re free to like it, and free as well, I suppose, to whinge for the last 152 years that their noble Lost Cause to hold people they considered sub-human in bondage was a spectacular failure. But we don’t have to applaud or congratulate them for it.

          • Bemused

            You know, a significant portion of my ancestors were pillagers and rapisst. I am perfectly happy to have significant Norman-French heritage, but at the same time I can acknowledge that my ancestors did not have a good cause they were fighting for.

            And I also like the US, despite our checkered history. However, the fact is that there are smears on the fabric of our history and we shouldn’t go around pretending that the mustard stain is a saffron beauty mark.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Sounds like you didn’t read the entire post.
            But, your concern is duly noted.

          • vivian

            My entire adult life has been spent watching our culture try to wrestle with the vestiges of the South and all its pernicious vainglorious sanctimony. And you are upset because Blarney isn’t following Emily Post in his comments. Way to keep things in perspective, champ.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “My next door neighbor is a slaveowner. Good neighbor, but I sure wish he’d paint the trim on his damn house.”

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            Whew, talk about being besides the point. Read on “projection” some time, OK?

      • MynameisBlarney
        • Anna Elizabeth

          I just blocked him. I’m truly sick and tired of the Wonkette Lecture Series.

          • Now lookie here, young lady……
            *grins all innocent like*

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Boring.

      • I think that is rather the point, non? As in, that is what they scream about everything so have some back?

        • David Chaillou

          Tit for tat makes us equal. I like to believe that I can behave better than a Trump troll.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Then I would suggest you quit acting like one.

          • vivian

            Well then, you share their lack of self-awareness.

          • Pst, it was not anything like that, and you should probably know that.
            I mean, rocket science is hard I know, but this is not even rocket science. A monument to an insurrection by white supremacists being removed and people shitting their pants about it because “Heritage” certainly deserves a you lost get over it flung in the teeth.
            Perspective, it is not just for modernists!

          • David Chaillou

            I just thought “you lost” was the wrong argument. If it is a stupid argument when trumptards use it, then it’s not better at Wonkette. Anyway, Blarney firing up his fucks at nobody in particular sounded like he’d had a few too many.

          • Probably just frustration that 150 years later we are still going around and around and around on this.
            But then, again, you lost when talking about slave owners is sort of a bit justified being that they did lose and slavery is illegal and Lincoln et al did try the nice cuddle them back into the union approach and it turns out it bites us on the ass a century later since we are, apparently, being forced to continue to fight that fight that was lost 150 years ago.

          • David Chaillou

            As a Frenchman, I get specially pissed by (the many, many) Americans who claim moral superiority because they won ww2 and we didn’t. Even though they had small advantages like a massively superior industrial base and 3000 miles of ocean protection on each side. Which is why I was a bit primed to react to Blarney.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            All of us won WWII, dude. The French played their part, but you should really visit Normandy some time to contemplate America’s (and Britain’s and the Commonwealth’s) contribution.

          • David Chaillou

            “All of us won WW2”. Sorry to tell you, a lot of your compatriots think otherwise. Want a French rifle? Brand new, only dropped once.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            The people who do that are otherwise known as “Republicans.” That whole, “Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys” thing? Republicans. Boycotting French products and changing the name of a disgusting american food product to “Freedom Fries?” Republicans. “If it wasn’t the the US, France would be a German speaking country.” – Republicans. Are you starting to see a pattern here?

          • David Chaillou

            Unfortunately my experience is this pattern is not limited to republicans, much as you and I would like it to.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Actually, it is. Look harder.

          • Jennaratrix

            I just thought “you lost” was the wrong argument. If it is a stupid argument when trumptards use it, then it’s not better at Wonkette.

            I actually agree with this. A better argument is “Your ancestors and/or people you identify with fought for a really bad cause, lost the fight, but continue lionize the men who fought for the right to enslave human beings for reasons best known only to yourself. You should stop doing that.” But you know, that doesn’t really fit on a t-shirt.

          • David Chaillou

            As it happens, disqus allows you to type more than on your typical t-shirt. More than 140 characters, even.

          • Jennaratrix

            How very very.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            It takes something smaller than a pocket ruler to measure the difference between Trump trolls and concern trolls. Just saying.

          • David Chaillou
      • Jgb979

        I would certainly expect butt hurt liberals to get over it in less than 150 years….when everyone who was alive or had any personal connection to the event is several generations deceased.

        Contention: it’s the lack of “getting over it” that’s lead the South to remain the poorest most backwards region in the country

    • Longstreet63

      Dude, haven’t you learned that that stuff only applies to Democrats?

      • David Chaillou

        Well, aren’t Democrats originally from the South ?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Mother of God…you’re not channelling that tired old trope again, are you?

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          And all homo sapiens are originally from Africa. What’s your point?

          • vivian

            Wow. Nearly verbatim!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Watch out for him. He’s clearly able to peer into your mind.

        • vivian

          Originally we’re all from Africa. What’s your point?

          • David Chaillou

            Actually originally we’re all from the precambrian ocean. But for Democrats the relationship with the South is a bit more close and specific.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I don’t know if it’s your intention, but you sound like every right wing troll ever with that comment. What’s next, “Robert Byrd was once in the Klan”? Yes, we know. So did he.

          • vivian

            And even closer and more specific would be the events of the past 50 years which seem to have escaped your notice entirely.

          • David Chaillou

            The shorter the venture, the more important the beginnings.

          • vivian

            Oh for fuckity fucks’ sake. Do you get all your thoughts from inspirational posters? Is this from the Successories™ line?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Hallmark “Deep Thoughts”. Fuck this bullshit, I gotta go earn my corn.

          • David Chaillou

            That was the joke. Next time I’ll flag it.

          • vivian

            Ah, a joke. Yes. Of course. A joke. Here I was thinking it was a trite platitude in defense of a senseless historical citation, but no, it was a joke. A hilarious joke well told, I’m sure.

          • David Chaillou

            I think it’s called “tongue in cheek”. Only works if the other side has a benevolent attitude.

          • vivian

            Why, after lamely trying to cast aspersions on the character of today’s Democrats by unfairly aligning them with select members of the party’s foundation, would you assume anyone would read anything you write benevolently? That’s kind of like me saying “your mother’s a whore but I haven’t said a word about how I feel about you,” and then expecting you to read what I write benevolently.

          • David Chaillou

            I did nothing of the kind. You’re projecting things i neither wrote nor implied. I stand by my initial point: you lost so shut up is a deplorable argument, no matter who uses it.

          • vivian

            Well if you’re going to dissemble there really is no point in speaking with you. You are a fraud.

          • David Chaillou

            No.

          • vivian

            Why don’t you stand in front of a mirror and argue with yourself.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            Well then, the Republican Party is some 50-60 years younger than the Democratic Party, so it is the shorter venture. It’s true that they began as an anti-slavery party, but they jettisoned that legacy 50 years ago. Which matters more, what people used to be, or what they are now?

          • David Chaillou

            Sorry, disqus has thoroughly mixed the threads here. Your reply is a non sequitur.

          • Saxo the Grammarian

            And that relationship changed radically in the 1960s. Or did history end for you 60 years ago?

          • Hm, yes it is. The Democrats learned from their mistakes and cast off the south during the civil rights movement when the racist fuckwad hanger ons in the south abandoned said party, because of civil rights, and went and became Republicans.
            Good riddance, too!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Fuckin’ idiot.

          • Isaac Heston

            Dumbass time wasting fool. Is there anything you want from life?

        • Longstreet63

          Well, Jefferson and Madison were its forebearers, so I suppose so.

        • MynameisBlarney
        • No. There were northern Democrats too, even then back when!
          SHOCKING I KNOW!
          You are thinking of the Dixiecrats, which is a different animal, that abandoned the Democratic party because of the civil rights movement and became Republicans. To spite LBJ mostly.
          Do you history, much?

          • David Chaillou

            Weren’t they founded by Andrew Jackson ?

          • vivian

            … and nothing has changed since. Are you trying to be obtuse, or is it a natural function?

          • David Chaillou

            How is that relevant? Does it mean Democrats have no historic links to the South? They were founded there and flourished there. Did I make claims about what they are today ?

          • vivian

            You brought it up, so I presume it has some relevance in your mind, though what that might be surely eludes me.

          • I would like to know what the past history of the Democratic party has to do with today’s liberals removing a monument to white supremacy myself.
            But I am gonna guess it is probably something like both sides do it, QED

          • vivian

            Or that we didn’t remove them politely enough? Were we supposed to bring flowers?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Right? We broke up with them with a text message! Didn’t even have the decency to do it in person at Appomattox.

          • He certainly championed them a bit! But I do believe the basis was more in Madison, non?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Don’t forget that when the civil rights movement really started getting traction in the 1950s, some of the former Confederate states added the Confederate battle flag to their state flag designs or started flying it on their state capitol grounds as a big middle finger to the people marching for their rights. Heritage not hate, indeed.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Or maybe radical Ferrari fans.”

    Prancing horse pony is the BEST pony!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7bc01991a0e7a955fbbaf9c834859122da49e2d40f8fa8e25f0989ac2cf05cb0.jpg

    • Nounverb911
    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Indeed. Here I am in the stands of the Italian GP at Monza in 2013, in appropriate attire:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12bf868a5867d0cb8074385e4a62bcc14dd5d15f6005f8c71a1b402ab8655f9b.jpg

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        “In the old days, Red Bull fans would be carried out on stretchers.”
        — Ghost of Enzo Ferrari

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I knew there were good reasons to like you. :)

      • Totes envious. Good on you, Bub!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’d love to see a race in Monza someday. For nows, I have to make up for my lack of attendance with moar fanaticism. XD

    • Ezio

      Thanks. You just made me go to google images to look if anyone has parodied the Ferrari logo using a My Little Pony character.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Represent! Tifosi in Da’ house! Forza Ferrari!

      How much do I love Dok for giving me a change to fly my Tifosi cred , and still be on-topic? XD

      • Longstreet63

        I’m just gonna go on record as saying I like the Maserati logo better, even if the cars aren’t as good.
        Aston-Martin Lagonda Tarif for prefs, anyway. I like more than two seats.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Maseratis are cool, as are Aston-Martins. :D I love lots of cars, it’s just being a Tifosi isn’t so much a choice as it is an obsession. XD

          • Longstreet63

            See if I ask you for any Grey Poupon…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

        • Teecha

          *show off alert* A friend of mine works for Aston Martin. They can borrow a fleet car for the weekend, they just have to clock a minimum number of miles. So he came to visit me. In a DB9. We went for a razz, impressed my neighbours, good times! He wouldn’t even let me stand by the driver’s door, let alone sit in that seat.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Best pub in Middle Earth.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It was a nice place until Bill Ferny started hanging out there.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Bet he was a Trump supporter.

    • Cavallino Rampante!

  • Nounverb911

    Maybe this will take the poor southern snowflakes minds off of this.
    https://twitter.com/Jalopnik/status/856860969527644160

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Wars have consequences.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Thiazin Red

    OT: Wow, such a tough negotiator. Its no so easy when you can’t just rip people off and wait them out in court is it?

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/25/trump-signals-delay-on-border-wall-funding-to-avoid-government-shutdown

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      In a Twitter message on Monday, Trump wrote: “If… the wall is not built, which it will be, the drug situation will NEVER be fixed the way it should be!”

      Among the many reasons why the wall is a dumb-ass idea…does Donald really think there would be no domestic production of drugs? No substitute substances would be developed to get high?

      How stupid does he think we…oh, right.

      • Thiazin Red

        Also, did he forget that boats and planes exist?

        • jesterpunk

          Did he forget you can just walk around the wall by going 6 feet into the ocean?

          • Longstreet63

            Oh, you know Mexicans can’t swim…
            Or tunnel.
            And it’s not like they know how to use a ladder. Where would they get one? Home Depot?
            And the cartels couldn’t possibly have enough money to bribe one of our loyal border guards who were so anxious to help our country that they didn’t need to pass any background checks.
            So this will totally stop the drug problem, which, I seem to recall not really having been the reason for the wall.

          • zerosumgame0005

            but but but the COAST GUARD will stop them…on wait, forgot he defunded them…

          • jesterpunk

            Not only is he defunding them he keeps going to Mar-a-Lago where the coast guard has to send people to watch the coast and protect him.

          • hillarysleftone

            Actually most drugs shipments pass right through the checkpoints, hidden in passenger cars or cargo trucks. The idiocy is exquisite, breathtaking.
            https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/04/25/the-1-reason-why-trumps-wall-wont-fix-the-drug-problem/?utm_term=.b4e47a8a4afc

            as mark train said, this is a thing which passeth all understanding…going full speed.

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          I’m moving my trebuchet company to Mexico. It’s gonna be yuuuuge!!

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Trebuchets bitches!

        • zerosumgame0005

          three KFC buckets! Dumbald is salivating!

        • Longstreet63

          I knew those pumpkin chunkin contests were for learning a valuable skill!

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            Cantaloupes also, too!

          • Longstreet63

            You and your illegal vegetable submunitions…

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It’s protectionism. He’s making American meth labs great again.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Opioiods are one of the most significant contributors to America’s drug problem, and they are being produced and distributed legally by U.S. corporations. Most of the management of those businesses, I’m guessing, are big Trump supporters. The wall isn’t going to be much of an impediment to them.

        • doktorzoom

          Lots of addicts start with commercial opioids then move to heroin; that’s definitely imported by the cartels.

          Mostly hidden in trucks, through ports of entry that will be completely unaffected by any border wall.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Most of the opiates are sold by the drug companies.

        • Swampgas_Man

          He’s not locking the drug dealers out, he’s locking them in.

      • Contemplative Ron

        He thinks he’s smarter than us, so yeah, REALLY stupid.

  • Suttree

    The only statue that I didn’t piss on was the Liberty statue I pissed on the rest of them though.

    • Suttree

      i lived in New Orleans for 20 years

  • MynameisBlarney

    Speakin’ of ignorant fucktards…

    • zerosumgame0005

      I wish it were possible these days not to, constantly but they are infesting the world today

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You can’t be anti-participation trophies and pro Confederate statutes. They are the world’s biggest participation trophies

    True dat. Confederate fanboys and fangirls are the world’s sorest losers FFS.

    • Isaac Heston

      And we all know they take the most in federal handouts.
      “The South will rise again!”
      To what?
      Oh, that’s right. Still getting money from other people’s work.

  • Isaac Heston

    Hey, I’m all for showing your supremacy and all of that, but could you please trot out better guys than this guy, Trump, or David Duke?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Confederate monument lovers can go fuck Donald Trump with Alex Jones dick. What a bunch of inbred, weapons grade racist dried pig anuses…

    • Randy Riddle

      But tell us how you really feel…

    • zerosumgame0005

      seconded!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      If they ever cast a statue for Alex Jones, buy brass futures, lots of them.

  • peteywheats

    ACTUAL PROGRESS! HUZZAH!

  • C4TWOMAN

    “the contractor who initially accepted a contract to take down the monuments found his $200,000 Lamborghini torched outside his house in the middle of the night in January 2016, and immediately backed out of the contract. ”

    Fook, that would just make me double down on principle. Obviously taking the precautions…and perhaps wiring everything with cameras. I’d want to catch the sods.

    Usually I’m a bit conflicted about this kinda thing, if it’s not blatantly offensive. History did happen. But moving them to a museum–perhaps a museum of racist revisionism?–is the right call.

    Now if we could stop worshiping genocidal slavers like Sir Francis Drake…..

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I’m still not completely convinced the arson was connected with the confederate loons. I mean come on, this was a contractor in the south driving a Lambo. The guy was obviously dirty. My guess is that a competitor who lost the bid torched it in an effort to “renegotiate” the contract’s award.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Mebbe…

      • Buzz1313

        These people used to lynch black people for trying to vote and kill white people for helping them register to vote. I’m pretty sure the arson was connected to the contractor taking the bid. You need to remember just how violent a strain runs through white supremacist types.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I agree. And I’m not saying the contractor or the perpetrators weren’t racist pieces of crap. Just that, in this case, burning a 200k car is a pretty serious felony and I don’t think the average ignorant racist would take the risk. I think it was a rich racist competitor looking for green.

    • theblackdog

      I don’t know if all the statues in the south will fit in one museum, so I wouldn’t necessarily be upset if they destroyed the duplicates because really, how many Robert E. Lee statues does one building need?

  • rosenbomb

    Speaking of rewriting history…this is a photo I took of a sign in Helena, AR. It’s quite a sunny spin on the Trail of Tears. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5b2429c5a91ef45740d6f84a032f99881b5eabe109f15b9bfe6c454b43a1b55a.jpg

    • It is like how Jim Crow was not bad after all because blacks founded their own collages!

      • rosenbomb

        Yep! Now the Native Americans stand as “successful sovereign nations”– no harm done!

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        I think collages are a tad busy and gaudy– I had no idea there were historical black collages too! :-)

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Black on black is the new white on white.

    • Longstreet63

      Yeah, sure.
      Until the white folks needed their new lands and took them back to make Oklahoma.
      Even after they sided with the Confederacy.

    • Marsupial99

      What, it doesn’t mention how the tribes get all the GOOD STUFF, like casinos, because of reverse-racisming the White man, who only tried to help, and now they’re all rich, and this was therefore a good thing??

      • Isaac Heston

        We aren’t rich. Tribes in South Dakota live without electricity or indoor plumbing. And I know you’re just being facetious, but we are disappearing as a race.My niece and nephew killed themselves. I go months at a time without seeing another native. I constantly get accused of being Mexican. And there should be nothing wrong with that. But, being accused as a second class citizen, when I’m a property-owning, Native American, Marine Corps veteran is just insulting.

        • Contemplative Ron

          The upvote is for your perspective. That this is still ongoing is… no, I don’t have a word for it. But it’s a tragedy that needs to be dealt with, NOW. I wish I knew how, though.

          • C4TWOMAN

            it boils down to economics and community. Not just dollars, but the infrastructure so people can meet, socialize, trade, etc. I was talking about this with a friend while we were analyzing way “bedroom” suburban communities are so culturally dead. At least they have money. But there’s no place for people to meet, interact, trade with even on a small scale.

            In First Nations communities they suffered a devastating hit being moved to “reservations” that were far from their traditional hunting/farming lands. So all those skills, and the people who have them, die out and nothing replaces it. The community of society and trading also dies out, or is severely crippled.

            A similar thing happened with many European immigrants before they left–enough famine/poverty you lose the farming skills and the community that supports it. But at least they could blend in in cities when they came over.

            I don’t have all the answers, but part of the solution has to be investment in community infrastructure. IMHO the casino model could be slowly replaced with something like software tech, but I am literally light years out of my areas of expertise here.

        • Marsupial99

          I live in Southern Riverside County (CA), just outside a whole convergence of various reservations. I won’t pretend to know Native politics other than what I read and can try to research, but the extreme poverty in some pockets is incredible. Yes, we have local casinos here (lots), but I also know that inter-tribal fighting over the gaming lifted some members to enormous wealth (looking at YOU, Mark Macarro!) while casting out others back into literal roadside shacks.

          I have no point here, other than to agree with you. It is insulting, and horrifying.

        • rosenbomb

          Thanks for sharing this, Isaac.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I like the idea of contextualizing these monuments to losers. It’s cheaper. It provides the flip side of the coin in educating the public in why the statue is there. It allows the efforts of people like Harriet Tubman and others to be recognized. It can tell the story of slavery and the Civil War in a way that makes clear that when you lose a war, you just try to make yourself feel better by putting up a big honkin’ statue. Removing the statue entirely, IMHO, isn’t as powerful a statement as educating in a way that essentially lets the viewer point and laugh at the ridiculousness of having it there.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Not a bad idea at all.

    • Manders

      The monument in this case is going to a museum. I think that’s a better place for it. Give artists some work; put up a monument to the people worth honoring, or remake the original work, instead of keeping the monument there and just giving the people worth honoring a sign.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I’m all about local governments deciding what’s best for their community. If they have the money for that, way cool. We’re facing that decision right now where I live. We have a massive Lee statute in my little town which would cost ridiculous amounts to move. We could put up a lot more than signs for the other side of history for far cheaper. And I’m okay with that. But I wouldn’t presume to speak for other cities. It’s a tough call.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I try to look at it from this point of view: it’s a monument to people who fought to keep people as property- forever, and from having any rights as human beings. Germans didn’t put up monuments in their town squares honoring Hitler or Goering, and call them monuments to their heritage.
        The outrage is how long this has gone on.

    • Shibusa
    • Buzz1313

      Problem is these statues are still seen as memorials to certain people. Nobody down there is pointing and laughing and making fun, they take that shit seriously.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Depends where you live. They absolutely do that where I’m located. Because we’re a massively librul university town.

  • I think we should melt them down and recycle them into porta-johns. I’d pay good money to piss on the legacy of Jeff Davis and Robert Lee.

    • Swampgas_Man

      What have you got against steamboats?

      • Meccalopolis

        Cleveland steamboats?

  • The Librarian

    Kudos to Mr. Landrieu and a bitch slap to the asshole blaming “communism” for removing these eyesores. Also too to the person torching the car.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Roughly 20% of Colonial Americans were on the side of the British Empire during the Revolution. But I don’t see any of their descendants flying the Union Jack.

    • Mahousu

      You’re forgetting Victoria’s Secret.

      Maybe a Confederate underwear store could make a go of it.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        The traitor flag is just the right shape for a panty liner.

        • The Wanderer

          “X marks the spot.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fark had a great series of Colonial era Faux Noise screen captures with Faux deriding “terrorists” who destroyed East India Company property in Boston Harbor.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Not actually true. The subtext is way different of course, and flying the Union Jack does not imply the Colonies should have never rebelled.

  • Manders

    That tweet is a thing of beauty. I want to needlepoint it on a bunch of pillows and airdrop them over a few key states.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I’m fucking serious, Wonketeers. Don’t *any* of you presume to lecture me on *any* subject, Evers.

    • Not even Pleistocene glacial structures and polarity reversals?
      Awwww…..

    • Mahousu

      Giuseppe Peano (1889) developed the most widely-used set of axioms for defining natural numbers. It essentially amounts to defining the properties of 1, the base natural number, and of a successor function a+ (i.e., a+1). With only five axioms defining them, Peano could then derive all the normal rules of addition, multiplication, and so on.

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      It happened again? Fuck a duck. :(

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      So the “Great Lectures” series of DVDs is off your wish list?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • anon_the_great

    I hope the men who took that monument apart were very, very well paid.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Hazard pay isn’t usually considered for a job like this.

    • Jim Johnson

      Perhaps it was a labor of love.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I thought losers were supposed to get over it. Imma start a GoFundMe for a giant Hillary statute dedicated vaginacide.

  • timpundit

    “Participation trophies”…now that’s damn good.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Funniest line all day.

  • Jgb979

    Gosh if only it were possible to have pride in your backwards, poor region of the country without simultaneously supporting slavery and treason.

    Clearly that will never be the case….

    • CriticalDragon1177

      People in the South have a lot more to be proud of than slavery and their failed rebellion. Sadly so many of them have been taught the lie about the nobility of the Southern cause.

      • C4TWOMAN

        For starters many of them are survivors of the Battle of Cullloden, that some scholars see as a case of genocide against the Scots. They were indentured and exploited, but persisted. There is so much to be proud of…that doesn’t include glorifying the toxic exploitative capitalist plantation system. These people are like the unemployed union workers voting for Ron and Nancy.

        So they’ve been glamored by the romance of greatness…that they will never be part of.

      • Jgb979

        Oh I speak as a (kinda) Southerner (Virginia which means I’m a yankee for all parts south of Virginia).

        I want the region to do better! Even the deepest parts have beautiful landscapes, generally great weather, great food, amazing culture (when not focused on hatefully dumbassery), and friendly people.

        Every time I see that dumbass flag or monuments to traitor heroes, I only shake my head and wonder how many generations it will take to let it go.

    • Jim Johnson

      “Slavery and Treason”.
      These branding strategies are being focus group tested by Republicans right now.

  • The Wanderer

    Um, considering that the Lamborghini Gallardo had an occasional problem with bursting into flames, isn’t it at least plausible that the contractor’s Lambo, being an Italian car, got fed up with being driven by an American and said, “Aw, fuck this shit?”

    • doktorzoom

      I dunno — and this is actual ignorance of Lamborghini flammability, not snark — but I’d assume they tend to go up in flames while being driven, not in the middle of the night when parked?

      • The Wanderer

        I was being sarcastic. Yes, the Gallardo was a rear-engine car, and they’d end up running hot and then explode in a merry sheet of flames.

        • Courser_Resistance

          For some unknown reason a few years ago, a Lambo was right in front of me, trying to go 30 mph on Colfax in West Denver. Christ, the car was wider than the lanes! Crazy lime green color. I was wondering which drug dealer had gotten *really* stupid, but maybe the guy was lost.

          • Hardly Ideal

            Bonus points if the putz managed to spin out and crash during the white-knuckle action of turning left from the center lane. That seemed to be a trend on YouTube some years back.

  • Poly_Ester

    And yet, their arguments made so much sense when they discussed them in the echo chamber.

    • Jim Johnson

      Of course everything in the echo chamber has a sensible explanation.
      “It’s Obama’s fault”, “Lock her up”, or “Communism”. These are the only reasons you need to be reasonable in there.

  • Panika MCD

    I feel like I need to start packing snowflake stickers…or snowflake glitter maybe? that would be good.

    http://orig03.deviantart.net/0841/f/2013/159/b/5/you_re_not_a_special_snowflake_by_tiisiphone-d688tzs.jpg

    • Jim Johnson

      Ivanka… Jared… I think they are talking about you.

      • Panika MCD

        or I could be talking about the special snowflakes what need Civil War participation trophies.

  • JMP

    Why do conservatives hate America so much they celebrate the worst traitors in our country’s history, anyway?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’m pissed-off about the removal of the Benedict Arnold Memorial from the West Point campus.

      There is one, right? As a matter of history? Major André’s statue, too?

      Wait, what?

  • Suttree

    So I haven’t received a text back from Lizzie. I assume she is on the plane.

  • Suttree

    Lizzie had a three hour delay.

  • theblackdog

    *adds this to his litmus test of who to remove on Facebook*

  • azeyote

    it’s the same old – you are for saying i am – syndrome – it is the great defense of the indefensible – everyone can be the victim now –

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Someone should ask Corey Stewart, what the Hell ISIS has to do with them removing Confederate statues in New Orleans. Seriously, is he aware of “Everybody Draw Muhammad Day?” If Jihadists had threatened to bomb New Orleans, demanding that they take those offensive monuments down, it would have only encouraged people to fight to keep them there.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    No Oliver, offensive racist symbols are being removed from the public squire. Your “history” is not being erased. You want an example of history being erased, looked at how the former Confederates were able to claim that their rebellion had nothing to do with keeping black people as slaves after the fact. The fact that you don’t like the fact that southern whites were dumb enough to try to sever all ties with Washington DC so rich white folks could continue the barbaric practice that helped to keep them poor, doesn’t change that.

    • C4TWOMAN

      “. The fact that you don’t like the fact that southern whites were dumb
      enough to try to sever all ties with Washington DC so rich white folks
      could continue the barbaric practice that helped to keep them poor,
      doesn’t change that.”

      And it’s still happening today.

  • William
    • Gregory Brown

      Oh snap!

    • Whollyholeyholy

      Them’s the more typical states rats Republicans.

  • dshwa

    They should be melted down for scrap and sold, with the proceeds going to the NAACP or the SPLC.

  • William
    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Lee retired with dignity and forbearance. He knew he lost and accepted it. It was the next couple generations of losers who kept picking at the scab.

      • Jim Johnson

        Yeah, you lost — get over it!
        Where have I heard that before?

        • Christopher Story

          But that’s the second rule of hypocrisy:
          When I win it’s fair and square
          When you win it’s a commie plot to murder us all

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          🤔 from another bunch of born losers? Who are still afraid we will spoil their one moment of glory.

      • Gregory Brown

        He told his troops to go home and become good citizens again, when he could have ordered them into the hills to fight on as guerrillas. He also served as president of Washington College, later Washington and Lee University. Still a traitor, but he tried to make some amends.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Word. I’ve met Starcraft players who accepted defeat more gracefully.

    • Gregory Brown

      Fun fact! Wilmer McLean, in whose parlor the war essentially ended, moved to Appomattox Court House to get away from the war, having been pestered by the rebs and yanks having them selves the First Battle of Bull Run in his front yard. So he was an intimate witness to the war’s beginning and its end.

      • doktorzoom

        Somebody took notes while watching their Ken Burns!

        • Gregory Brown

          Thanks! Somebody’s personal Civil War library also runs to over 50 books.

          • doktorzoom

            I never doubted it! I’m the one who falls back on Ken Burns, really…

          • Gregory Brown

            Ken Burns is the bomb. As someone who has studied that war on and off most of the past 40 years, I’m amazed at the job Burns did in covering it. And Shelby Foote, one of my favorites, is a wonderful part of that series. Foote’s trilogy, “The Civil War: A Narrative,” is great reading.

  • Internet Hitler

    How can city governments contribute resources to filling potholes and putting out fires when there be murders and stuff?

    • therblig

      even here in the enlightened north, snowflakes post shit like that whenever local government tries to be anything but a police state.

  • chiefkurtz

    All of the confederate apologists would have you believe this is about heritage, and not about glorifying a racist past. Consider when most of these monuments were erected, 1890-1910, and what was going on between war’s end and then: Amendments 13 and 14, the passage of Third Force Act (effectively banning the KKK), the Supreme Court agreeing to hear Plessy v. Ferguson. The supremacy of the white race was being challenged repeatedly. What better way to assert it anew, then by harkening back to a time when it was not in question, under the guise of ‘heritage’?

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Isn’t that about the time a bunch of redneck states added stars and bars to their flags?

    • Buzz1313

      Add to that, the Confederate flag as a “thing” didn’t start popping up everywhere until the 1950s Civil Rights victories. What pisses me the fuck off is when I see people here (northeastern Indiana) displaying that flag. What’s their excuse?

      • Whollyholeyholy

        What pisses me off is to drive east out of Gettysburg on Lincoln Highway and see it flying.

        • Whollyholeyholy

          Or, FFS, almost all of West Virginia seemingly has not been exposed to the history of that state.

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    Shoulda used explosives. And a big vacuum cleaner. Fast cheap and easy.

    • javadavis

      No need for a vacuum cleaner, you want a skip loader and a dump truck on the way to deliver some gravel.

  • Jennaratrix

    Are they here? The Dear Shit Fer Brains derpity-dos? They must be here.

    • Pickles

      oh man i was just thinking that

      • Heyzeus Ahchay

        Not “Beauregard” or “Biggie Smalls”?

    • CriticalDragon1177

      They will come if look in the mirror and shout “derp” three time. However, you really don’t want to do that. ;)

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’ve been hearing about them, saw a couple of deleted comments, but they’re still supposed to be around somewhere.

      I gotta go do things soon….

  • chascates

    How many cities in Germany have Nazi regalia displayed to celebrate that period of their history? None, and the descendants and apologists of traitors should reflect on that.

    • Buzz1313

      It’s funny you should say that. I visited Savannah with a French friend. We were doing a driving tour. The tour guide pointed out a Confederate monument. My friend was astonished. “Is that legal?” He asked me. I said yes. He said ” That’s like Germany having monuments to Hitler!”

    • Invidosa

      A million upvotz!! And wine, a bottle of wine for you too!

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Hey, I was told by a very formidable and respected (and so not a sexual harasser) pundit that slaves (well those who built the WH) had it pretty good. I mean aren’t these monuments a tribute to that humanitarian movement that kept them well fed and, at least the wimmenz, well sexed by Boss Hogg. These beautiful tributes are just recognizing that quaint time.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Fucking snowflakes.

  • William
  • tehbaddr

    Have you come for the Festival? It is the will of Landrieu, peace be with you!

    http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200506/tos-022-bilar/320×240.jpg

    • I made the same joke when Rachel was interviewing him last night: “Are you of the body?”

      • tehbaddr

        “to you, friend. Joy and tranquility.”

  • Querolous

    Now we need to worry about Radical Ferraric Terrorists?

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Will take the default GOP position here and totally dismiss the issue since it doesn’t affect me personally. Oh yeah and “hopes and prayers”, I guess.

  • Magic Juan

    They have trouble with the murder rate, but not a monument to white folks that wanted to murder black folks for being black?

    • Christopher Story

      It’s not murder when the victim isn’t human

  • SeeTrain65

    Let’s try this again:

    On this comment from above: How about showing your face, Ms. Twitter Egg?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a987f0fe72657769ff6f30376592e3b46a371e28fa685de8807cbb66876bb5ad.jpg

    • Clyde Barrow

      References to Valkyries and other Nordic symbols are calling cards of White Nationalists. Their @ handle speaks volumes about their ideology.

      • BeatnikBob

        Rearing white stallions, also. I complained at the Shop N Save that the guy delivering their ice was wearing a T-shirt with one, along with the text: “Racial Purity is America’s Security”.

        They made a rhyme! Morons probably think they’re frickin’ Shakespeare.

    • Gregory Brown

      It’s fake history.

  • hendenburg2

    Those monuments don’t belong in a museum.

    They belong on Bourbon Street.

    With signs that read “Public Urinals”

    • Alan

      I was thinking they would make some awesome gravel for the driveway.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    The Civil War was really just about ethics in journalism.

    • Gregory Brown

      That war gave birth to the Associated Press. Fake news!

  • Relativicus

    ISIS has won? That’s on Trump, isn’t it?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I blame it on Obama.

      • Invidosa

        Well obviously, who else?

        • phoenix00

          Clinton? Soros?

    • Zyxomma

      Well, candidate Trump insisted he knew more than the generals and would defeat ISIL in 90 days. Overdue. Weak. Sad.

    • toughsister

      More exactly, the gay Mexican arm of ISIS.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I am going to have to read and re-read this, like, a million times because it’s a lot of derp and brilliant responses to derp, all rolled into one glorious mommy-blog post.

  • Greyhame

    I like the cut of the jib on this Jarvis DeBerry.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    As the Lil’ Carrot likes to say (with a mocking Southern drawl): “Heritage, not Hate! Lovers, not Siblings!” Note: I did not teach her this.

  • Grokenstein

    “Masked men guarded by the police”?
    You mean the Klan is doing this?

    • BeatnikBob

      Yes, they’re taking custody. No one else wanted the pieces of shit.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    To all the Confederacy fans out there:

    ELICTIONZ HAS CONSEQUINCES, AS DO WARZ. YOU LOST, GET OVER IT!

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    If i had my way, the only places that would have a Confederate flag and monuments would be museums and battlefields and history books. I would destroy every mounment and burn every Conferderate flag that remained. We have cuddled these racist assholes long enough, they comitted treason pure and simple. They need to get over it and join the 21st century!

    • Meliflaw

      As I recall, Ken Burns’s series about the Civil War ended with a reunion between old Union and Confederate soldiers. Is there no monument that shows such soldiers shaking hands or something–vaguely civilized? At least there are some dedicated to African-American soldiers, e.g.:

      https://www.nps.gov/boaf/learn/historyculture/shaw.htm

      https://www.nps.gov/afam/index.htm

      • BeatnikBob

        My favorite sports ritual should be shared by ALL sports, especially professional: At the end of every playoff series, when one team beats the other and moves on, at the end of the final game, ALL the team’s hockey players form a Little League line, shake hands, speak a few words, smile, and move on.

        Republicans and ‘conservatives’ just think politics and business and life is a GAME, and they want to WIN. Enough to lie, cheat, steal, even murder.

    • redblack

      i’d be okay with confederate flag toilet paper.

    • Invidosa

      I’ve been known to rip confederate flag stickers off car bumpers. I always feel a little bit like a rebel. . . . Waaaaaaaait a minute

    • generalleeme

      There is no need to hold back calling out the confederate traitors for what they did loudly, vividly and often. There should have been considerably more of them hung after Lee’s surrender at Appomatox. If we had done so, I suspect we wouldn’t have the depth of the issues we face today with structural racism and white supremacy (current malignancies). Nor would we be having to keep putting all of their B.S. participation statues & trophies in museums. Fuck their 150 + years of constant lying and whining about getting their asses kicked for trying to create their own country dedicated to slavery and white supremacy for profit.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I have always believed that we made a mistake by letting the South cultivate the myth of “Lost Cause” we had the best intentions in letting them do so. But it has caused massive damage by letting them whitewash or sugarcoat the real reasons it happened.

  • Gregory Brown

    I love the participation trophy line.

  • Gregory Brown

    My great-great-grandfather fought down around New Orleans, helped kick Confederate ass, with cannons! Then he got malaria and came home, which is probably why I’m here.

  • Corey and some of those others might be convinced that if the name-obscuring signs were removed, we’d find that the contractors are in fact literally an ISIS team. Possibly from Mexico.

    “Dismantle the Infidel West. No job too small”

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • Iron Monkey

    Those people back in 1876 who rejoiced in the return of white supremacy were just victims of economic insecurity. Much like Trump voters 140 years later.

  • norcalOG

    Still worried about rumors of his increasing dementia, Atty. Gen. Sessions today reiterated his support for fighting invaders.
    ” I support the President in his efforts to rid our people of those who would enslave them. President Davis has asked us to sacrifice and we will. We will not allow our great cities to become cesspools of freedom for those who don’t deserve to be free.”
    In closing, Sessions also said he wanted to assure his fiancé, Miss Scarlett O’Hara, that he will return to her when his work is done. “Atlanta is safe from harm. Don’t worry. Neither God nor I will let anything happen to you or to your home.”

    • toughsister

      Umm… “fiancé” is masculine. Does that mean that the AG is gay?

      • norcalOG

        For lack of an “e”, you would besmirch the good names of fair Scarlett and Col. Sessions?

        • thixotropic jerk

          Your application for Preznit Grant’s money from the Derpartment of Edumacauoshunoes: DENIED!!!!!

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      In this version, Sessions of course is Charles, her first husband

      • norcalOG

        In this version he might also be Charles Chaplin.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Charles in Charge, with the full follow-up from Scott Baio’s following 30 years

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Hey, Oliver, you treasonous moronic asshole: You’re “history” ended at the Appomattox Courthouse on April 9, 1865. Fuck you, and fuck the Confederacy.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Lincoln should have put it like this back then…

      • davej1s

        Lincoln wanted to peacefully reincorporate all of the confederacy back into the USA. Then some confederate asshole murdered him and threw the entire plan into the trash heap of history and put a crazy mother fucker in charge of the government back then. A four year war from 152 years ago that still divides us today?

        Humans…you just can’t make this shit up.

        • BeatnikBob

          The war is not over; it’s never been over; and Putin and Sessions make me think they’re going to win after all. Destroy from within, like a slow-growing parasite, and it’ll be Mission Accomplished.

  • FZsdaughter

    You can always tell which articles are by Doktor Zoom; they’re the ones that give you a smile of recognition when the wit takes you higher.

    • redblack

      well, that and the By Doktor Zoom in the byline.

      and, technically, wouldn’t the masked men be reconstruction workers?

      • generalleeme

        Meta reconstruction workers…

  • Invidosa

    Ugh, I couldn’t even get through that 2nd video without needing booze. . . And I STILL didn’t want to finish it

  • Invidosa

    Also, I can’t drink enough to make sense of the fact that these so called Patriots are glorifying treasonous bastards. I will in occasion see a confederate flag flying next to an American flag. Traitors, the whole fucking lot of them. Now I’m all ragey

  • svejk

    my great-great-grandfather fit the war of the rebellion in a louisiana cavalry regiment best described as “three men and a boy with pistols.” as near as can be made out, their job was to ambush federal soldiers on the way to or from arkansas. bushwhackers, just like the viet cong, really. nevertheless, his great-grandson, my father, taught me that the defeat of the confederacy was a blow in favor of civilization. so when we played soldiers with the neighborhood kids my father’s sons were the only kids willing to be the yankees. never once played rebels. new orleans is doing the right thing; the neo-confederates are, once again and still, doing the wrong thing. until the confederacy dies out in the american heart, america is always going to be in domestic turmoil. sorry for the snark-deficient response but, as you see, i take all this quite personally.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Jeeze, you’d think the Irish would have been happy to have that nice statue of Admiral Nelson on Sackville St. But no, first they renamed the street (to O’Connell) and then they blew up the statue. Will no one think of the history?
    http://www.politics.ie/forum/history/183602-day-irish-history-1966-nelsons-pillar-dublin-blown-up.html
    And those statues of Queen Victoria that were all over India.

  • Maybe

    Now if they would just remove all the politicians who have the same racist mindset.

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