SHARE
So many Easter eggs, you’re gonna get sick of Easter eggs.

It’s a day in the Trump administration, which means it’s as good a time as any to fuck something up. Lucky for the White House, today is the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, which was SO FUN during the Obama years. Thousands of kiddies would join Beyoncé and Michelle Obama and President Bamz, who would read Where The Wild Things Are and make monster faces at them, and they would eat some ham probably, and then do the dumb thing where they roll Easter eggs, instead of just hunting for them. Whatever. It was great.

But now a new administration is in town, and it is bad at everything. Also, it does not seem to understand that, on top of all the fun things about presidenting, like MAKE BOMB GO BOOM, it is also supposed to continue longstanding traditions like the egg roll doohickey event. We’ve already heard the stories about how oopsie, they kind of didn’t even start planning this event until two weeks ago, since Melania Trump, who is theoretically first lady but lives in Manhattan, isn’t doing shit and the East Wing isn’t staffed.

But look, it’s fine. They pulled it together, Melania picked FOUR DIFFERENT COLOR EGGS, and also gold eggs, because it wouldn’t be a Trump event if there wasn’t a tacky gold thing. Can you imagine picking four different colors, for eggs? Melania Trump can, because she did it.

To get an idea of how much joy is being spread to children young and old at today’s event, here is Attorney General Jeff Sessions, reading the book It’s Not Easy Being A Bunny to some kids, but then stopping to tell the kids Donald Trump was walking out on the balcony. Oh look! There he is! And also there is Melon Trump! And SOMEBODY is dressed up as the Easter Bunny! Is it Sean Spicer? No, that is Sean Spicer’s OLD job. Now he lies for the president and talks about how Hitler’s Six Flags Over The Holocaust Centers weren’t as bad as what the Syrian president, Bessie Al-Bashir or whatever his name is, does to his people.

Is the Easter bunny Jared Kushner? Is it Satan incarnate AKA President Bannon? IT IS A MYSTERY!

Then a military lady sang the national anthem, and Melania had to subtly smack her husband to remind him to put his hand on his heart, because that is a thing you do when somebody is singing the national anthem:

Then Trump addressed the crowd and said he will make Easter Egg Rolls great again. For real, he was actually talking about how he’s really getting the country back on track, right on schedule, flanked by the Easter Bunny, while he talked to children. Then Melania Trump said thanks for coming or whatever, and then they went back in the palace.

A bit later, Trump sat and colored with some little girls or something. He probably didn’t think about how if they were a few years older, he might be dating them, but maybe he did:

This morning, Sean Spicer also read to the children. He read How To Catch The Easter Bunny! He did not accidentally deny the Holocaust for the children:

As we finish writing you this post, Melania Trump is reading a book written by celebrated author Kathie Lee Gifford. She’s doing fine, and she looks very pretty.

At some point Trump himself will “read” to the children, according to CNN. But what will he “read”? Penthouse letters? The Art Of The Deal? A special inspirational book penned for the occasion by the president himself, called Oh, The Pusses You Will Grab? No, silly, he will save that for when he does the commencement speech at Liberty University or whatever.

We guess we will just have to be patient and wait to find out what book the president will sound out for the children, if he even does it.

For now, we will leave you with a real president and a real first lady, reading Where The Wild Things Are, and pretend for a moment that things are not terrible:

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! You should click the buttons below, to fund us!

[CNN]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Translation: Somebunny didn’t order enough.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’ma wait for the commemorative 2017 Impeachment rainbow flag, thanks.

    • bupkus23

      I looked at that and first noticed that only the most expensive item ( not counting the set ) was “in stock” – and it reminded me of the “bait-and-switch”….

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Melania appears to nudge President Trump to remind him to put his hand over his heart during the national anthem

    How long before she’s telling him what the US is doing in international talks?

    • Wouldn’t she need to be there more often?

    • Nounverb911
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Coincidence! No one tells Trump what to do! Nobody puts Babby in a corner!

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      She’ll probably get a nice tongue lashing for that. Of course, if she hadn’t done it, she’d have received a nice tongue lashing for NOT nudging him.

      • Oblios_Cap

        She’s probably already heading back to NYC.

  • These people could fuck up taking a shit

    • MynameisBlarney
      • Thiazin Red

        We need these in the bathrooms on my floor. Is that what people are doing? That would explain a lot.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        Is this real? Please tell me that nobody is THIS stupid.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I don’t know honestly…
          But I’ve seen some public bathrooms that this sign would have applied to.

    • FlownΩver

      If they ever saw the inside of a working kitchen it’s pretty good bet they could burn water.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Of course, he loooooves gold.

    The gold represents the Romans who felt oppressed by someone talking about love and compassion so much that they had to nail him to a tree.

  • dslindc
    • Then why are we hiding under our desks in case of a nuclear attack?

      • Flanders

        This ass clown is the worst president America has ever elected. He has absolutely no skills, abilities or knowledge to perform the job. His track record as a business man is one filled with dishonesty, deceit and corruption.

        Here is what the hayseeds believe Trump is going to do.:

        1. Destroy the federal government as we know it.

        2. Get rid of a bunch of brown people.

        3. Get rid of Obamacare and watch the poor die. My previously unaffordable insurance is down to $85/month. My car insurance, from Insurance Panda, is now just $25/month. Under Trump, healthcare will be $500/month or more.

        4. Make the lives of poor kids, the sick, and the elderly worse than they already are.

        5. Drop a bunch of bombs on some colored people in some country somewhere.

        6. Cut taxes on the rich.

        I was not a Hillary fan but at least she’s no worse than most of the other politicians in Washington. Trump on the other hand is just plain dangerous. He’s unbalanced, self absorbed and unpredictable. A powder keg waiting to explode.

        America is doomed.

        • memzilla Ω

          “Insurance Panda” spam AGAIN? Oh, Lori, didn’t the gig with Google work out?

          • data_ninja

            I call them Spamda Insurance!

            What if this is Lori’s moonlighting job?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Give her a break. You know what an oil change for a McLaren costs?

          • PubOption

            Both they and Dolt 45 are pandering to the rubes.

  • Treg Brown
    • DainBramage

      As long as he hates who they hate, it doesn’t matter.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        Exactly. Plus, politics has become the real religion for most conservatives anyway. It’s insane how many churches in this country preach but hate politics every single Sunday.

  • dslindc

    Melon was clearly thinking, “What time is my flight back to New York?” the entire time.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more miserable FLOTUS. This is supposed to be a fun event for children…she can’t even do that happily? Sad!

      • Jeffery Campbell

        That’s the Botox for you. If your face were rendered immobile you’d have a hard time too.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Needs moar Bronx cheers.

  • Wild Cat

    Fucker’s gonna roll the nation. Might as well start with rolling some fucking Easter eggs.

  • Michael R
  • Nounverb911
    • anwisok

      “Accepts.” Suuuuuure he does.

  • Zonath

    If I saw Jeff Sessions alone with kids, I would call 911. Dude does not look right.

  • beingreleased

    Will this be the first time Trump has ever read a book to a child?

    • Wild Cat

      He read “120 Days of Sodom” to Ivanka before her first Communion.

      • MynameisBlarney

        HA!

        But no…way too many big words.

        • Wild Cat

          Curval is It’s hero. Remember Curval?

          • MynameisBlarney

            No, I only read it once.
            And that was only because my gf at the time wanted me to read her a chapter before bed every night.

            We didn’t stay together long.

          • BearGHAZI

            Do you have her number??

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL No…not anymore, this was 20 years ago.
            She’s married now anyway.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Yes. Also (possible) first time he’s read a book…

    • Vincent Ricola

      $20 says he has someone feeding him the words in an earpiece.

      • Me not sure

        Someone with a sense of humor and the ability to break into that wavelength could have a ball with that scenario.

    • Master Contrail Program
    • Tennessee Rain

      Why the qualifier, “to a child?”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    C’mon, it’s hard to learn new speeches. Much easier to give the stock campaign patter no matter if the audience is still leaning the nuances of not eating glue.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Or the speaker, to be honest.

      • Me not sure

        “Mr. Trump’s wedge salad with mucilage dressing. A Mar-A-Loco favorite.”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Asked about North Korea, Trump says they “gotta behave”.

    Well, that will solve everything!

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Ahh yes…the shitshow continues…

  • GoutMachine

    I am hereby starting a Kickstarter campaign to get “Oh, The Pusses You Will Grab” written and published.

  • DrBigHead

    I tried to find coverage of the event on the interwebz last evening without success. It was as if it never happened.

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      I believe it happens on the Monday following Easter.

      • DrBigHead

        Ooops. Well, that would explain it.

  • eyelashviper

    Giving campaign speech to kids…and then eyeing the young ladies who might be a 10 in the near future.

  • memzilla Ω

    Books that were read at the WH Easter Egg Roll? Was one of them Horton Hears A MOAB? Or maybe this one:
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a2db14d211494a4adce7aa534c7944bcc82c25bade1edb774417eb36bccaa61.jpg

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    OMG I miss the Obamas so much, I’m tearing up.

  • I hope, for the sake of whoever has to don the Easter Bunny suit next year, that it isn’t Steve Bannon inside of it. If it is, they should just burn it afterwards, because the stink of bathtub gin sweat and Slim Jims is never coming out.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Don’t forget his casual relationship with wiping.

  • SCK

    Fucky McFuckin Stuff Fucks Up Again. Are we ever going to get tired of winning?

  • Anna Rompage

    I cannot believe nobody is reporting on the instance where Donnie beat up a disabled kid in a wheelchair, and then stole both his easter eggs, and his lunch money…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I read about that on the Internet, right now. Dumb lamestream media misses out on the big story, again.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well…this might explain why he acted like a 3 year old…

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028940471

    • Shoto

      Hope that turns out to be true.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      And that supremely confident look on Merkel.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Obama + Angela = bff.

      Thank you Germany.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I bet they both knew about turmp and the rooshans for quite a while and wanted to give turmp enough rope to hang himself.

        • Vincent Ricola

          This is my dream.

          • Oblios_Cap

            No wonder he wouldn’t shake her hand.

    • wait! what?

      The icing on the cake was when Merkel told Donald that the Earth is round

    • h4rr4r

      I will believe it when I see it.

      I still think he is going to get away with it.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I do not share that pessimism.

        • h4rr4r

          I am honestly quite happy that you do not.

    • Major_Major_Major

      It would be an extra bit of sweet sweet irony if the Germans were to put the final nail in Sharter-in-Chief’s coffin.

  • Master Contrail Program

    The event was going well until this one made it into the reading list. “Disgusting!” The chief executive was heard to bellow while turning a sicklier shade of orange. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4903b9ce4e6d1646636ae7aeb641a472870cf333ab90fcbe49c13b9381a6822b.jpg

  • Chadwells

    Ew.

    First, how could he find the heart he doesn’t have?

    Second, and more importantly, who would let their kids around these evil mother fuckers?!?

    Finally…where the fuck to begin with that racist fuck Sessions reading “it’s not easy being a bunny”…yeah, fuck that bunny’s rights and throw him in jail. Are you fucking kidding me!!?!

  • eyelashviper

    Would be nice if some small child had handed the Precedent this nice book:

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/97/87/ac/9787acc7fc3ccacfe02001fe95bd8386.jpg

  • DainBramage

    I was taking a walk in the woods yesterday, when a cute little rabbit hopped across the trail. It felt like Easter.
    http://www.welcomewildlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Eastern-Cottontail-2.jpg
    There’s tons of these little critters living in the ‘burbs now.

    • beingreleased

      Well, you know, they breed like Duggars.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I live in a downtown area and I’ve got them all over my garden. I trained my dog to chase them into the neighbor’s yard (but NO BITES!).

    • h4rr4r

      Those bastards ate all my asiatic lilies.
      My wife won’t even let me eat them.

    • Oblios_Cap

      My relatives in Jersey have a real infestation of the little buggers.

    • aureolaborealis

      They eat their own shit. Would that be autocoprophagy?

      Edit: Yes. Yes, it would.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Are we still talking about rabbits, or did we switch over to Republicans?

        • aureolaborealis

          What was the question again?

    • Yr. Gma

      The rabbit population here is kept in check by the coyotes.

  • Mavenmaven

    “How to Catch the Easter Bunny? You take the biggest and most expensivist bomb you have, drop it on a bunny hole somewhere, and then declare victory! See you next year!”

    • WeaselPoo

      The Holy hand grenade of Antioch works as well.

  • Me not sure

    Wouldn’t this have been better on the Saturday before Easter, than on the Monday after? I don’t keep up with such things, but Monday is a work day/school day and Easter is over isn’t it?

    • Chadwells

      Protesters have jobs….Monday was safer!!

    • Wild Cat

      No. On Monday, Jesus was still insulting all the disciples that betrayed him, getting his kids’ life insurance in order, arranging for his brother to marry his widow, and putting in the screen doors. Later on that day, he will ascend, say he’ll be back right away, and forget.

      And who can blame him?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It’s a holiday in D.C. – Emancipation Day is April 16, and because that fell on a Sunday it’s observed today. That’s why the tax deadline this year is April 18th.

      • Zonath

        So they’re celebrating Emancipation Day? Is that why Jeff Sessions looks so sad?

        • Me not sure

          …and Melon is emancipated from having to live day in and day out with Trump…. So there’s that.

  • jesterpunk
  • memzilla Ω

    Who wants to bet that 80% of the people who buy these farkakte easter eggs are thinking they’re gonna make BIG BIG MUNNIEZ by reselling them on eBay? Yeah, that worked out SO WELL for all those Billy Beer and Beanie Babies suckers, too.

  • Fartknocker

    Trump’s youngest son looks dejected. That’s sad.

    • Wouldn’t you?

    • eyelashviper

      He always looks that way, never smiling, with no expression.

      • Well if he really is autistic or has a learning disability as much chatter has suggested, this must be hell.

        And a special kind of parent that would subject their special needs kid to that kind of hell.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I feel so sorry for that kid. It seems like Melania is doing her best to protect him from all of this.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        I do give her credit for that. Neither one of them wanted this “presidency” pushed into their lives. And I doubt if either one of them was consulted.

    • cmd resistor

      You can’t see his face because his back is to the camera in the pic, but in the one where Trump is “coloring” with the kids, Melania is at the end of the table and Barron is sitting across from her and at least he looks like he COULD be having fun — at least he seems to be participating.

  • Jennaratrix

    Aw man. I miss my President.

  • Shoto
  • ariel_gee_398

    It takes a special kind of incompetence or apathy to mess up the Easter Egg Roll.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxKFhA3JRwY

  • Mavenmaven

    For those of you who wish to lose their lunch, a new classic, from Tiffany Trump’s page!!! Notice how small his hands are as compared to those of Jesus:
    https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17991215_1557914337554005_572203395342054476_n.png?oh=3a0279d2ec96c3a67d383a8af068b5d2&oe=598ED823

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      ROFL! That is just BEGGING for some prime meme-ing!

    • eyelashviper

      the comments are hilarious, how long until the thread is removed???

    • Master Contrail Program

      The first comment thread was a stark reminder of how many delusional people there are in this country. Most of the following ones give me hope that we’re not completely screwed yet.

    • Master Contrail Program

      So Steve Bannon got into Reagan’s hidden Grecian Formula stash while wearing his casual Sunday robe?

    • chicken thief

      Looks like Jesus went fucking nuts with the Just For Men or substituted Kiwi Shoe Polish for Clarol.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      That image was taken at the culmination of their epic fight scene, when Jesus did an action movie neck-twist, while delivering his one-liner.

      “Three days later, let’s see you come back from THIS.” *CRUNCH*

    • godisgr8

      I absolutely love this and the President does need our prayers right now. Whether y’all will admit it or not Jesus does love Trump and wants him to do the best for this country.

  • Master Contrail Program
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “HUGE rally at the Very Famous White House today. Melania, who I don’t know, was there. The kids loved my speech.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I read that as Colbert’s impression of Trump. 10/10 would read again.

  • weejee

    tRump needs to get rolled in so many ways.

  • Nounverb911
    • MynameisBlarney

      That’s SUCH a dick move.

      • Shoto

        Total dick move.

      • eyelashviper

        But that’s the only kind of moves he has….Just hope no mothers ever hand him their baby to kiss.

        • Paulinerwilliams

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
          !st371c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs661ShopServiceGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!st371c:….,…….

      • SeeTrain65

        He can’t be anything but.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Ugh. Impeach already.

    • Claire

      JFC. And people who call themselves Christians love this nasty, hateful piece of shit.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Hey, nothin’s free kid. You want it? Claw the other guy’s eyes out to get it back.

      • data_ninja

        The free market at work!

    • Ian

      NO. THE FUCK. WAY!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Silver Lining?
      That kid will likely grow up with an intense dislike for rooshan puppets.

    • chicken thief

      Then he had Sean Spicer kneel down behind the kid before he pushed him down while calling him a “cuck”.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      A guy who spends our taxes as indiscriminately as he does of course has no respect for the possessions of others, even a kid. Poor child should probably count himself lucky that Trump didn’t hoover all the candy out of his basket while calling him a “taker.”

    • Opalescent Riddles

      If only that were the only thing this douche were taking away from our kids.

    • He seems nice.

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, maybe this will convince at least the kid’s parents that Donnie is a dick. Or not.

  • Ian

    The family looks miserable. Good.

  • Nick Scroggs

    just a random question, does anyone know of some like things that can store newspapers so they don’t get browned and crinkly, and something to hold books in so when you take them in a bag, they don’t get banged up? Edit, well need to find archival polyethylene bags, but otherwise still asking.

  • here is Attorney General Jeff Sessions, reading the book It’s Not Easy Being A Bunny to some kids,

    But I trust he told them that the bunny should stop whining, pull itself up by its own bootstraps, stop buying the iPhones, get a job, and stop resisting when the fox is eating his intestines?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Or that the bunny agreed to work for Hefner fair and square, so no sense claiming toxic work environment or on-the-job sexual harassment now.

  • Claire

    Is that kid of his standing on a box or is he just really tall? I hope he beats up his brothers all the time.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Barron? Yeah, looks like a growth spurt. Poor kiddo.

      • Claire

        Barron. For some reason I can never remember his name. I keep thinking “Bannon” and going “Um, I don’t think that’s right.”

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          Just remember that he was named after his father’s alter-ego fake spokesman. :)

          • Claire

            Then I just have to remember which one is fake and which one is real.

  • elviouslyqueer

    To repeat from a previous post: everybody at the whole Easter Egg Roll debacle looks like they’re at a fucking funeral.

    • Vincent Ricola

      They’re just grumpy because they found out they’re being charged $25 for every egg they touch.

    • The Wanderer

      Sociopaths don’t do well in social settings. They get awkward and uncomfortable.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        It’s hard to keep up the facade of amiability with so many people.

  • wait! what?

    Why does the EB have glasses?

    • The Wanderer

      He’s a liberal elitist East Coast Poindexter.

    • ariel_gee_398

      An extra layer of authenticity when they bring him inside after the event and force him to lie on the ground while Barron kicks him and shouts “Nerd”?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Because a anthropomorphized rabbit as a symbol of xtianity would seem silly without specs?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Compulsive masturbater?

      • The Wanderer

        It’d also explain the hair on his paws.

    • Mavenmaven

      Trump cut his carrot budget?

    • Sophia

      Looks more like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. EB/White Rabbit what’s the dif?

    • Sister Suffragette

      Nearsighted! Weak! Sad!

    • chiefkurtz

      Because that bitch Michelle Obama ORDERED us to eat carrots, and we know that we should do anything BUT listen to her.

    • SayItWithWookies

      He’s also the deputy secretary of energy, and so has to look as smart as Rick Perry.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Obamacare hasn’t been repealed yet, so he still has vision coverage?

    • cmd resistor

      No enough carrots.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT, Ima get out of the house for awhile. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3aead50511bad4dd1f9aec343f23d679a73ea6bffae6d4e40df57ad6ca2987fc.jpg

    Scary enough? XD Talk you Everypony laters! ~hugs~

    • lroom

      Still got that great smile. Hope your holiday was a good one.

    • Yr. Gma

      Love the bow.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thanx Gramma. :D I adored the “Deadpool” movie, and when I saw this at Hot Topic, it came home with me.

  • Chadwells
    • wide_stance_hubby

      If I did not work from a company laptop, that’d be me 3 days a week easy.

  • Sophia

    Probably going to read the kids this book.

    ‘Dumbass’ Trump wildly mocked over tweet urging everyone to read a book with no words

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/dumbass-trump-wildly-mocked-over-tweet-urging-everyone-to-read-a-book-with-no-words/

  • Bill D. Burger
    • elviouslyqueer

      Bazooka Felicia Ahmad Rashad.

      /DEAD

  • Me not sure

    I’m surprised that he didn’t get a crayon wedged up his nose.

  • Master Contrail Program

    I didn’t know Paas made gold egg kits.

  • Justin Zimmerman

    This is relevant: https://youtu.be/k7YXu4h5b_I

  • Bill D. Burger
  • OddMan

    “A bit later, Trump sat and colored with some little girls or something. He probably didn’t think about how if they were a few years older, he might be dating them, but maybe he did”.

    And that is THE line that made me start, shit you are right, and this is creepy as hell and this man should not be the fucking President.
    WTF

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Trump has some powerful ugly genes. Irregardless of the mother, the boys come out looking fucked up.

    • SnarkON

      No snark: Please don’t dis 10-year-old Barron. Off limits.

    • heartprivacy

      Come on, he’s a kid. None of this is his fault.

    • cmd resistor

      Actually Barron is attractive enough. I feel sorry for him as there is a good chance he’s not an asshole like his brothers, yet.

    • Yr. Gma

      I think he looks just like Melon. He’s the best looking of all the kids (including Ivanka, pre nose/boob jobs.)

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Where did this thing about putting your hand over your heart during the national anthem start? I have been singing the national anthem for 60 years, including 13 years of public school, and I never heard of this until quite recently. You put your hand over your heart while you say the Pledge of Allegiance, not during the national anthem. You STAND UP when they play the national anthem, but you are not required to put your hand over your heart. You are not even required to sing along with it, merely to stand at attention, probably because the range of notes makes the song un-singable for most people. Perhaps people have started putting their hands over their hearts while attempting to sing the song out of fear that trying to reach the high notes will make them keel over with a heart attack.

    I’m all for changing the national anthem to “America, The Beautiful.” The last time I was at a protest march, some white male redneck idiots in a Hummer started chanting insults at us and honking their horn, and we all started singing “America, The Beautiful” really loud to drown them out, and this REALLY pissed them off, and they left. I recommend this to everyone. It works at Town Hall meetings too. It works because nearly everyone knows the words and can sing it.

    • wait! what?

      Maybe the next rule will be that you have to salute the flag, whilst standing on one foot, if you’re singing the national anthem.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Would that be the right foot, or the left foot? Silly question, the right foot, of course. This would be a good way to identify all the disabled people prior to rounding them up for elimination.

      • OddMan

        “From this day on, the official language of TrumpAmerica™ will be American. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now… 16 years old!”

      • cmd resistor

        And then walk at straight line.

    • proudgrampa

      I would NOT stand for this:

      https://youtu.be/ls1YVhcLD2c

      • Antonin Dvorak

        In Roseanne’s defense, who actually thought she could sing?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yeah, that was embarrassing. But the primary fault lies with the idiots who agreed to let Rosanne do it. It was a low-IQ decision across the board. On the other hand, if the anthem was “America, The Beautiful”, maybe she would have done a slightly better job.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I dunno. My biggest question is why do we have to do it at every sporting event? High school, college, professional – I probably hear the anthem 100+ times a year…and that’s counting only events I attend in person.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t know why, but it might be a tradition we inherited from European countries and adapted, and it has now become an unquestioned ritual. When I went to movie theaters in England in the 60’s and early 70’s, they played “God Save The Queen” before the start of every movie, and everyone stood up for it. I have never heard of this being done in American movie theaters. I don’t know if they still do this in the UK. I never saw it done in France, but the French will start singing “La Marsellaise” at the drop of a hat. On the other hand, I lived in Spain and Italy in the 70’s and rarely heard the national anthems sung except at sporting events.

        I remember the days before cable when NBC and CBS ended their programming between midnight and 1 am, and they always ended it with the national anthem being played while a flag waved on screen. Then the screen changed to a test pattern and an annoying buzzing sound. For some reason, I found this amusing.

        • Doug Langley

          They do it at movie theaters in American military bases.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Do they? How interesting. I visited one once in Heilbronn, Germany, but didn’t go to a movie. I noticed it had a bowling alley. Nobody warned me that I needed US Dollars to shop there, and all I had was Francs. The whole place made me uncomfortable, for some reason.

        • Rags

          When I was in England in the 60’s (!) I recall they played it after the movie, so everyone hustled out of the theatre to avoid having to stand through it. Really helped with turning over the house!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I sort of wonder that, too. Are the military required to do the hand-over-heart thing? I only learned of it because I’m regularly one of the dumbasses still on the grid before an IndyCar race and realized (late) that all the team members do that. Lord knows how many times I was on the teevee not doing it before I mentally registered the oopsie. Because I don’t really do in-person sportsball and often don’t get “subtle” until long after the other children.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The last time I was at a military ceremony, which admittedly was 30 years ago, the soldiers did not put their hands over their hearts or salute the flag during the anthem, but they did stand to attention. I did not notice any of them singing along, either.

        Every single morning of my public school career, from 1st grade to 6th grade, we stood up and put our hands over our hearts while we recited the Pledge of Allegiance, and then we put our hands down and sang the national anthem. In fact, we were TOLD to put our hands down during the anthem. Perhaps the tradition has morphed at public events because they do not recite the Pledge at public events, and people subconsciously feel they are supposed to do something with their hands. I think this started at the Olympics. A Pledge is like a loyalty oath taken to the flag, and I can understand the hand-over-heart action during it, but an anthem is just a song, and requires only standing at attention. It is a silly thing to turn into a political statement.

        I have a badly torn right rotator cuff and nerve damage in both arms, so putting my hand over my heart for the length of the national anthem is painful, and I wouldn’t do it even if it was required, which it isn’t. Yet some bigot who thinks it’s OK for police to shoot unarmed black people at every opportunity will turn this into a political statement. It is gross hypocrisy.

  • epzik8

    Trump is making George W. Bush look very, very competent.

    • empf

      And much warmer and fuzziner–GW was no genius but at least he was a nice enough guy. Trump has all the warmth of a buzzsaw.

      • cmd resistor

        Right, I am sure if you dug up W’s Easter Egg Rolls, he at least probably mingled and had fun. I could be wrong. They might not have let him read, though.

  • Nounverb911
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      From a distance, I thought that kid’s hat was a Donald Trump wig.

  • SnarkON

    To be slightly fair to Melania Trump (who otherwise deserves zero sympathy), why does the mom always have to organize the damn holiday festivities? Whether it’s the Easter Egg hunt, the Valentine’s Day treats, preparing the entire Thanksgiving meal (and cleaning up afterward) or posing the stupid Elf on the Shelf, these holidays are built on the backs of women. Whether she works for a living or not, Mom has to do all of this stuff or it doesn’t happen.

    • The Wanderer

      After my father passed on in 2004, I had my mother move into my house. I do all of the holiday planning, cooking and etc. Oh, and if anyone ever brings an Elf on the Shelf into my house, it will be incinerated.

      • SnarkON

        Are you a lady-person, or a gentleman-person?

        • The Wanderer

          I are a XY-American, or a gentleman-person.

          • SnarkON

            Are you a straight XY-American? If so you are truly one of a kind and I bow down before you.

          • The Wanderer

            I are, and it’s a point of honor in my family that all the men know how to do domestic things. There’s no telling how long the women will put up with us, you see.

          • SnarkON

            Do you have a brother? Asking for a friend.

      • theblackdog

        Ugh, Elf on the Shelf, it’s more effective to threaten them with the Krampus.

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      I remember many a post-holiday food coma at my grandmother’s house–with the men sitting on their asses in the living room while the women did the dishes.

      • cmd resistor

        My dad didn’t cook but he was always good for washing dishes, which, on a meal like Thanksgiving, was worth it.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Like Melania has to do anything other than glare at the help…

      • myexisinthetrunk

        …and at her husband

    • empf

      Because, in this case, she’s not doing a whole lost else… (but I do get the sentiment)

    • aureolaborealis

      I only know this from personal experience, but because mom is the one who used to be a Christian, and who actually gives a shit about Easter, at least as a children’s holiday.

    • PersianOregano

      Well I’m assuming that it would have been Bill’s job if things had worked out as I’d hoped.

      • Bebecca

        Awww Bill Clinton, party planner.

    • Bebecca

      For a long time I’ve thought it was terrible that the president’s wife became the social chairman and that was pretty much their only responsibility. I think Michelle Obama took to it more than Hillary but both were surely a waste of talent. Melania probably felt like she shouldn’t take time away from her pet project-anti internet bullying….

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Am I mis-remembering some kerfuffle a few years ago where wingnuts were accusing Obummer of not doing the hand-on-heart thing during the National Anthem (it was fake news, of course, but I seem to remember a huge uproar). I wonder if those same wingnuts are popping a nationalistic gasket at Dumbass’ failure to follow the patriotic gestures?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Nope, that was a thing. I remember getting into a couple of FB arguments over it.

    • Sister Suffragette

      You’re remembering right. Plus, hand on heart isn’t even mandatory during the anthem. We are supposed to remove our #MAGA caps, though.

    • Shoto

      And lest we forget Coffeegate!!! That time when Bamz was holding a cup of coffee (prolly Benghazi Coffee!!!) when he was exiting AF-1.

      These wingnuts have the shortest memories in the history of shortest memories.

    • theblackdog

      IOKIYAR

  • Master Contrail Program

    I’m somewhat surprised he didn’t use ostrich eggs to demonstarate the biggliness of his administration.

  • Anna Rompage

    I suppose we should all be thankful that Jeff Session read “It’s not easy to be a bunny” instead of the Arkansas state issued pamphlet that covers the their lethal injection protocol…

  • Nounverb911
    • eyelashviper

      Waaaaa, fake news, unfair, waaaaa!!!!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        There were millions of spectators, all agog, at the trump roll – anyone who says different is lying…. don’t shake your head at me, missy!…

    • empf

      I always get the feeling that Trump is very jealous of Obama–O is handsome, tall, in good shape, well spoken, and has a wife with whom he obviously gets along. Trump is old, fat, can barely string words together, and a has a wife who is A-Ok living apart of from him. I think it just KILLS HIM that people like Obama much better than they like him.

      • Bebecca

        They are polar opposites in every regard.

    • Oh man. He’s gonna be mad….

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, it may not be the ‘Golden Carriage & the Queen’ welcome he wants, but they ARE getting warmed up for Trump’s visit across the pond.
    Jolly good, England!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO1EFdtAzVI

    • Hutch

      That. Was beautiful!

    • Sophie McMillan

      just got back from a trip to the old homeland. they cannot wait for Drumpster to arrive. I believe they have a special welcome planned.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Remember, remember
      The Eighth of November…

      • spacecat in space

        Treason may, in fact, be involved. So, that’s fun.

  • Master Contrail Program

    In addition to demanding a ride in the Queen’s fancy carriage Trump also wants to meet the clucking Cadbury Bunny during his official visit to the UK.

    • Anna Rompage

      And who’s this Big Ben character I’ve heard so much about… Has he been up to anything interesting these days?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        He’s being recognized more and more.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          He and Susan B. Anthony are quite an item these days.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • empf

      Man, ain’t that the truth!

    • cmd resistor

      Although I would expect the Anti-Christ to be more intelligent, not just capable of destroying the world through ineptitude. But maybe he just has to appear at a certain time in history and fuck things up.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Well, there’s a ton of archival bags online, so that’s good for my purposes. (I’m not a hoarder, just have a lot of stuff i collect for future archiving) But I’m wondering if I can just use thick ziploc bags to store some books safely when i take them on a trip. They’re paperbacks and hardcovers, but generally in well condition.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Get the freezer storage ziplocs.
      They’re moar better for stuff like that.

      • Nick Scroggs

        That’s what ‘m thinking too.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Depends on how dry it is inside those bags – if you’re headed to Florida, you’ll end up with wet, stinky pages stuck together….

      • Nick Scroggs

        No, Oregon.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Not much difference, humidity-wise, unless you’re in that desert part of Oregon…

          • Nick Scroggs

            Damn it, why can nothing I think of ever work?

          • What Pierre said

            Ooh, ooh! I know, I know, call on me!!

            Anyhoo, transporting books in archival plastic bags is okay and if they are only going to be in there for a short time humidity won’t be much of a problem. For long term storage, desiccants are your friend – or even uncooked rice – it should absorb moisture. The rice should be changed out occasionally, and make sure it doesn’t attract creepy-crawlies.

            The yellowing of old paperbacks and newspapers is nearly inevitable due to the acidity in the paper itself. There are things you can do to mitigate, or slow down the yellowing and the newspapers turning brittle. Keep the newspapers and books out of the sun and, it goes without saying, away from water. If you can afford it, and/or if the newspapers or books are especially precious to you, acid free document boxes could be a way to go. More than one newspaper in a box should be interleaved with acid free vellum (paper, not sheep skin) so they do not stick together.

            If you are saving the newspapers for the contents and not their value as objects (for example, a newspaper that came out the day of a particular event) I would recommend going digital and recycling. Newsprint especially deteriorates and it is frustrating. They may have started printing newspapers on acid free paper, so newer papers may be easier to save, but I don’t know.

            Anyway, I know this was long, but if you need to know anymore I can ask some paper conservation friends.

            TL;DR In general, newspaper deteriorates. UV light and water are the enemies. Use acid free, archival materials for storage. Desiccants/rice if you are storing in plastic.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hope you losers got Turnip’s Easter message and explanation for the day.

    Soooo’ inspiring.
    (*Never thought I could say, “That motherfucker makes Dubya look smart by comparison.”…. but now I can.)

    https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17991874_151400572057439_5209948555639933236_n.jpg?oh=3c105913d65455ba8a486d896da9c5c2&oe=598F507F

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • snigsy

        Why does that tweet not surprise me? Trump–keeping it classy.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          It’s at least from 2015. He’s apparently learned how to silence some of his inner thoughts in the interim.

          • snigsy

            Doh! I should’ve read the date.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I beticanbeatchuinagameofdominos…..

    • Justin Zimmerman

      No one else serves up word salad quite like Drumpf.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        PALIN LIBELZZ!!

    • miss_grundy

      He sounds like a third grader who didn’t do his homework.

    • Bebecca

      He can’t even be superficial in any believable sort of way. I’m an atheist and I could say something about Easter that would be believable to the masses.

  • TJ Barke

    Grate again!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    BTW: I found it on the internet. It has to be true. And…. It would be wrong not to pass it along.

    https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18010875_952142288256264_8406115900948169310_n.jpg?oh=7f050bb8b4bee2047a089fab035425a1&oe=594D1506

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I’m pretty sure those were just gold-plated golf balls that were sent to the conehead factory…

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Anna Rompage
    • Bill D. Burger

      That is soooo’ wrong! ________LOVE IT!

  • chiefkurtz
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Is the Easter Egg thing typically after Easter, or is this the typical Trumpian bunglefuck-100-is-the-same-as-145 scheduling? I’ve never paid attention to when they do it, although for some reason I thought it was usually on a Saturday.

    ETA: Never mind. Someone just told me it is traditionally on the Monday after Easter. I’ll take her word for it.

    • andreamd

      So the only activities were the egg rolling, coloring and reading by a Holocaust denier, an old southern racist and a nudie model who can barely speak English after 20 years here? There used to be lots of entertainment, games, snacks, celebrities but with an MIA First Lady who we are supporting with our tax dollars in NYC- guess a decent event was too much to ask.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ya’ know. It just occurred to me that my resentment is not so much being governed by the 1% as it is being governed by the fucking dumbest sons of bitches IN the 1%.

    • Miles Monroe

      The word you’re looking for is “kakistocracy”.

    • I have heard elsewhere the sentiment that being exploited and oppressed is one thing, but being exploited and oppressed incompetently is not to be borne.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • empf

    Now I have a sad for Pres and Mrs O. Notice how they’re properly dressed for the occasion? Like people going to a picnic or something. Trump is just a scary, old fart.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      You do not want to see Turnip in a plaid short sleeved shirt and mom jeans.

  • chicken thief

    I think it is so nice of that little colored girl to clear the FLOTUS’s table first!

  • undercover epicurean
    • TakingAmes

      Thank you! I’ve been trying for weeks to figure out where I’d seen that photo before!

    • therblig

      it’s weird, but yesterday on my bike ride through fort lee, i was actually wondering when did realtors become beauty pageant contestants? you never see glamour shots for plumbers or accountants.

  • You’re breaking my heart Evan. Breaking my heart.

  • snigsy

    I wonder how the token black girl feels sitting at a table with the Great Yam.

    • Red Bird Ω

      She’s asking herself why it wasn’t candied yam.

  • Red Bird Ω

    This made me cry. Why God why do we have a racist grifter as our president?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Because we have an abundance of racists voters.

      • Red Bird Ω

        So says the Washington Post. And to that I say…..duh.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Yeah. Didn’t we already take that poll on Nov 8?

  • Anna Rompage

    They were gonna have Steve Bannon play the easter Bunny, but thought twice about that once they saw him in his costume…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8d9e3f9bf5d6cd2ec3654d9134d94a9286dc05bf325edeab4d551ce011dfe633.jpg

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That and he promised to de-operationalize all the children.

    • Doug Langley

      He only does that when there’s journalists in the vicinity.

  • Poly_Ester

    The trump presidency has come to resemble a shaggy dog story — Its just one thing after another, seemingly without a point, and you won’t know what the joke is until the very end.

    • SullivanSt

      It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

  • jesterpunk

    He hosted an easter egg hunt at Mar-a-Lago yesterday that was better planned then this event at the White House. Not hard though when he spends so much time at his golf courses.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/04/17/trump-has-spent-one-out-of-every-five-minutes-of-his-presidency-in-palm-beach/

  • Contemplative Ron

    Love that image of Lyin’ Spice reading to the kids from twenty feet away, behind a barrier of fenceposts and flowers. Was he afraid they might ask him questions?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s heard stories from his Republican friends in the House. Best not to let “the public” get too close.

    • cmd resistor

      They did bring up one little kid to sit on that square stool-y thing while he read.

      • Contemplative Ron

        MOLOCH DEMANDS A SACRIFICE!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Reading to us? Bouncy Castle or GTFO.”
    — A Child

  • aureolaborealis

    It’s almost like they have zero experience serving anyone but themselves.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I̶t̶’̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ They have zero experience serving anyone but themselves.

      FIFY

  • Doug Langley

    C&L posted Donnie’s speech. Yep, it’s gawdawful:

    DONALD TRUMP: I want to thank everybody. This is the 139th Easter Egg Roll. Think of it, 139. It began a long time ago, 1878. And we will be stronger and bigger and better as a nation than ever before. We’re right on track. You see what’s happening and we’re right on track. Thank you, everybody, for being here. We’re going to do cards for soldiers in a little bit. Melania and Barron and myself are going downstairs. We’re going to sign the cards for troops. We look forward to that. And then we’re going to come out and enjoy you, enjoy your company for a roll, a great Easter Egg Roll. I don’t know if we’re going to be successful. but I know a lot of people down there are going to be successful. I’ve seen those kids and they’re highly competitive. that I can tell you.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Annnnnnnd …. of course that’s the actual text. Because the Onion can’t parody a parody of a president.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Anymore, you can’t tell if it’s real for from the Onion!

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          “Only his hairdresser knows for sure!”

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Did he mention the electoral college and his yooge win?

      • Doug Langley

        That’s all they posted, but I’d be surprised if it weren’t in the next paragraph.

        • cmd resistor

          Maybe someone wrote a kid book about it, something like, My HUUUGE Electoral Win, and he’s saving it to read to them later.

    • Anna Rompage
      • Duke

        Are those Trump Tower eggrolls? They’re huge!

    • NastyBossetti

      I bet the children were enthralled and hanging on his every word.

      • cmd resistor

        Good thing none of them had raw eggs on hand.

    • Bebecca

      OMG that wasn’t snark?

    • Aunt PithyPat

      What a buffoonish load of argle bargle! The dude can’t string a fckn logical thought together and make it come out of his pie hole as a coherent sentence.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Remember, his supporters think Palin is an awesome public speaker.

    • andreamd

      enjoy you- uh oh- hope there were no unchaperoned teenage girls

    • SullivanSt

      I am actually nauseated from reading that. Bigly.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      “We’re right on track. You see what’s happening and we’re right on track.”

      Yeah, let’s give a fucking political speech to a bunch of children!

    • Gregory Brown

      Verbal diarrhea. Not even the wholesome regular kind. More like the sharp stench from someone who is really seriously ill.

  • NastyBossetti

    How old is Barron? Could they put him in clothes that are appropriate for a kid attending an easter egg roll? Certainly, they can afford something more casual for him.

    • JD Mulvey
      • NastyBossetti

        That is JUST what I was envisioning.

        • JD Mulvey

          He’s not allowed to play with the other kids.

    • Bebecca

      it’s not a tux is it? Then it’s casual for a child of Donald Trump.

      • NastyBossetti

        You’re right. He’s not even wearing a tie!

    • Yr. Gma

      There is talk that Barron is autistic, and he would not be participating in a crowded kid thing in public. Poor little guy. Well, he would not be allowed to participate anyway because manly sport in that family involves shooting things.

      • Bebecca

        Seriously, he’s the only Trump I feel a twinge of regret for. Everyone else is there by choice. I can’t even imagine what personal hell all of his offspring went through when they were kids. Tiffany had little to do with him, she was probably the least screwed up.

        • JD Mulvey

          For some reason I’m imagining that several decades in the future, after the Presidencies of Donald II, Eric I and Ivanka the Great, there’ll be a period of unrest that ends with the accension of Barron and the imprisonment and murder of Tiffany.

          • Bebecca

            My imagination runs in a different direction, I’m imagining imprisonment for Donalds I and II and Ivanka. Eric turns states’ evidence and ends up in witness protection. I’m not getting anything regarding Barron’s future, maybe that means he disappears into the woodwork.

          • Jamoche

            Changes his name and vanishes, like Hitler’s relatives.

          • Ωbjectifier

            I didn’t know Vanky Vank was into horses!

          • Gregory Brown

            … after the manner of the Death of Mary Queen of Scots.

        • Vienna Woods
          • Bebecca

            I had no idea Tiffany was so devout. Thanks for sending that, I started to vomit reading the first couple of entries but it got better. Pretty hilarious actually.

      • NastyBossetti

        Yeah I always feel bad for him. If they’re going to trot him out for stuff like this, I wish they didn’t dress him like a little adult. Then again, maybe that’s how he prefers to dress. Who knows?

        • cmd resistor

          I was noticing that lots of the kids coming to the event are dressed up, kind of Easter finery type outfits. The Obamas always looks casual and comfortable.

      • andreamd

        I don’t know anything about him actually having a disability. I have a son on the spectrum who attended WH easter egg rolls but they weren;t held by an insane pussygrabber and his adulterous nudie model wife with a Holocaust denier and a racist reading books.

        • therblig

          “an insane pussygrabber and his adulterous nudie model wife with a Holocaust denier and a racist reading books”

          and those were the good things.

        • HooverVilles

          Ah, the Trump administration very succinctly summed up.
          Well done.

      • Gregory Brown

        The kid could just be perpetually bummed out about having been born into such a lame ass family.

        • H0mer0

          his brother is apparently an expert on Asperger’s

    • Lulu’s Mom

      I thought his name was Damien.

  • JD Mulvey

    Is there a logical reason why Spicer needs such a wide security perimeter between himself and the children? Are they in cahoots with the MSM? Probably.

    • Duke

      Let’s him pretend not to hear shouted questions.

      “My mom says lying is bad. Why do you lie?”

      • Gregory Brown

        Probably more truth in that than we realize.

    • javadavis

      Perhaps to protect the children?

  • JD Mulvey

    Stating a couple of obvious things just because:

    1) Our last President, the black one, would not have needed to be prodded to put his hand on his heart during the national anthem.

    2) In the very unlikely event that there was even a tiny hint that such prodding occurred, it would have led the top of the hour on FOX News for the next three days and wingnuts would be reminding us about it in comment sections for years afterward, regardless of the topic to which they’re ostensibly responding.

    • Duke

      Benghazi!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Actually, I think that did happen. One time Obama was late in placing his hand over his heart and of course Fox looped ad infinitum. And that ONE time becomes EVERY time. Doing the same with Trump would not be hypocritical. It would be responding in kind.

      • JD Mulvey

        I must have missed that news cycle because I was distracted by Coffeecupsalute-gate.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          But GWB carrying a dog while saluting was Okie Dokie! And don’t forget the absence of a flag lapel pin, because accessories are what’s important.

    • Lulu’s Mom

      Is that better or worse than saluting with a coffee cup in your hand?

    • Gregory Brown

      Next three days hell. Next three weeks, especially Hannity.

    • Vel Venturi

      You would be able to hear the screaming from space.

  • Madmoh
    • Gregory Brown

      The first time I watched Borat, I sprained a rib laughing. Had to back off and watch it one scene at a time to avoid further injury. It’s a wonder Sasha wasn’t killed during some of those bits.

  • Bren

    Needed to be reminded where a normal person’s fucking heart is.

  • SullivanSt

    It’s striking how miserable they all look on the balcony, compared to the joy the Obamas gave us.

    Fitting, because they’re making all of us miserable too.

    • TakingAmes

      Miserable people look miserable.

      • spacecat in space

        I am reminded of Dahl’s The Twits.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Speaking from the balcony? He thinks he Evita!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      *he’s

    • SullivanSt

      Or, y’know, because that’s part of the regular way it’s done: https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/sites/default/files/image/image_file/p040615dl-0040.jpg

      Of course, the regular way it’s done doesn’t include giving a goddamned campaign speech at a kids’ event while standing next to someone in a man-sized easter bunny suit.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Why was the bunny wearing glasses with Trump? Did Donald blind him? :(

        • Anne Hyatt

          Certainly not with science.

          • SullivanSt

            Maybe some IACUC-unapproved animal testing, because regulations are evil.

          • Gregory Brown

            They were lab testing some new and potentially dangerous cosmetics by smearing them in the Easter Bunny’s eyes, and whoa, they did turn out to be dangerous, and now the Easter Bunny has to wear glasses for his damaged eyes.

        • Stulexington

          Because the Trumps can’t do subtlety. There’s people reading to kids over Easter, so of course the bunny has glasses, for reading.

        • TootsStansbury

          Yes. Testing his hair and skin dye.

          ETA Oops, shoulda put on my glasses and read the rest of the nonexistent comments, need moar carrots. Or maybe I shouldn’t have been quick like a bunny to add my silly thought.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        The “arrogant board up the ass” stance vs the “we are also human and are it’s about celebrating you!” body language says it all.

        • SullivanSt

          Oh yeah, 100% agree.

          Remember when the first family was capable of feeling joy and other human emotions, and making us feel them too? Good times, they were.

      • Manders

        Even their bunny looks less terrifying.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    They forgot to boil the eggs!!!

  • rocktonsam

    little boris looks like he doesn’t want to play with THOSE KIDS

  • goonemeritus

    I’m a little disappointed that the kid’s didn’t start chanting “Release Your Tax Returns.

  • JD Mulvey
  • SeeTrain65

    Did Bannon get around to reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar Who Lost His Job Due To Over-Regulation?”

  • cmd resistor

    So I just looked over at whitehouse.gov again to see what they were showing live. It’s Betsy DeVos reading to the kiddies, who are all kind of crowding around her and she’s looking somewhat uncomfortable. You’d think a Secretary of Education could fake looking comfortable reading to little kids. I can’t tell what the book is as I didn’t have the sound on.

    • SeeTrain65

      There’s a PSA for Education:

      “Stay In School, Or You Might Read As Badly As This Lady.”

      • cmd resistor

        It’s really kind of strange. Maybe 20 kids really crowded in around her — whereas when Spicey and Melania read, it was all staged with not too many grimy kids right up there. It’s like whoever was in charge of the staging went off for a cigarette break. Now there’s a little black kid not far from her. Oh, it’s over now. She posed with the black kid and a couple of other ones. They can use those photos for Dept of Ed posters.

        • SeeTrain65

          During Shoot: “We’re inclusive!”

          After Shoot: “Get my Purell.”

    • H0mer0

      [Fifty Shades of Gray]

      • phoenix00

        *shudder*

      • fifthdentist

        “Fifty Shades of White,” more like.

    • lizzie
  • cmd resistor

    I’m sorry, but I am becoming obsessed, I think. Now Ben Carson and his wife are reading the Eric Carle book about the ladybug.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      The whole thing is so fake! I’m almost embarrassed for them but they have no idea how they are coming across!

  • Little Lulu Ω

    So Trump has only one suit? Or is this his casual look? The Obamas look comfortable; Trump looks like he grew up wearing a suit to every activity. Which explains why he smacked Donald, Jr., in the face for not having a suit on when he came to pick him up for a Yankees game (I just read about this today).

    • cmd resistor

      His casual look is the khaki pants and white golf shirt he wears to every golf game.

    • Manders

      The Obamas are not trying to hide that they are fat (because they ain’t); they also have never mocked other people for being fat, and therefore do not have to worry about being mocked in return. Those baggy suits hide his physique.

      Although, I must admit, that does not explain his golfing outfit. He really needs a golfing caftan.

    • Mormos

      i have heard that story. hit him so hard he knocked him on on his ass

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Anyone notice how monochromatic this event was? Finding the kids of color is like a where’s Waldo puzzle. Where the kids of Washington DC even invited?

    • cmd resistor

      They didn’t set up the ticket lottery until 3/15 and I read that the Obamas did it months in advance. Plus looks like they didn’t manage to invite the local school kids they usually do.

      • JD Mulvey

        I bet there’s a story there –Like they put Stephen Miller in charge and he used some alt-right mailing list to locate the kids.

        • Chiennoir

          George Soros hired them. Can’t have some little brown liberal yahoo blurting out “YOU SUCK” in front of the cameras.

      • Teto85

        Local private school kids were invited.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      And isn’t white supposed to be after Memorial Day? How tacky!

      • Chiennoir

        White after Easter is fine. White after Labor Day? Tacky. But this is Trumpland, where white is the national color. All white, all the time. Except for toilets. They’re gold. (Tacky.)

    • orygoon

      First thing I noticed, too. How did the even do that?

  • cmd resistor

    http

  • cmd resistor
    • phoenix00

      Devil horns?

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    SNL is going to have a field day with this!!

  • orygoon

    When even the WH Easter Egg Roll is depressing, America, you done fucked up.

  • Jamoche

    For everyone down thread who noted the lack of diversity and wondered if they’d invited any of the local kids: NYT says no:

    “Washington-area public schools that normally receive blocks of tickets for as many as 4,000 children have yet to hear from the White House”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/11/us/politics/white-house-easter-egg-roll-trump.html?_r=0

  • mfp

    anyone else notice something odd about those gold eggs up there?…besides youknow–gold eggs….the signatures, DJ and Melon, are remarkably similar…all up-and-down strokes (which is weird anyway), looks like an EKG tracing–trump obviously ‘perfected’ that signature for decades, (watch him do a signing sometime, it is not natural) and no doubt insisted that melon do the same, and to make hers look as pathologically practiced and oddly symetrical as his

    • HazooToo

      Actually, it kind of looks like she’s been practicing his signature for either of two reasons: She learned to write in English from his chickenscratch (which seems kind of totally ridiculous), or she wanted to sign things with his name without him knowing about them (which seems much more likely).

  • godisgr8

    What does “Where The Wild Things Are” have to do with Easter? Oh wait…nothing! At least Trump and the others read something pertaining to Easter! I think President Trump did just fine and I bet all the children all had a wonderful time too! Snarky article!

    • JD Mulvey

      … If by “wonderful time” you mean “please, mommy, shoot me now!”

      • godisgr8

        Oh you mean to shoot a picture of them having a great time! Sure!

        • JD Mulvey
          • Keith Taylor

            As someone asked a while ago, “Does everyone in the Trump administration have dead serial killer eyes?”

          • davej1s

            It is just a look of dumbass not serial killer.

          • godisgr8

            They were smart enough to get into the White House now weren’t they? Don’t let his look fool you.

          • davej1s

            To tell you the truth, it is not their looks that concern me…it is their actions. BTW NOBODY elected Michael Flynn, or Kellyanne Conway, or Reince Priebus, or Stephen Miller…

          • Harbinger08

            The survivors do.

          • Sarah E. Grove

            Shark eyes, yep.

          • Teto85

            It is a job requirement.

    • HazooToo

      I don’t even care about the Easter Roll, but did you not know that Wonkette is proudly a nasty vile little snark mob? Snarky articles is kind of what they do. Also you may want to change your handle, because on a quick read with no coffee, it looks like it’s meant to say “go-disgrace”.

      • generalleeme

        Hear! Hear! to “our nasty vile little snark mob”. Wonkette gets me through some pretty damn dark days.

      • Sarah E. Grove

        I immediately read it as “god is a disgrace.”

        • HazooToo

          Ikr?! Which, kinda true, but also ruuuude! Give the guy a chance to get His Almighty shit together.

        • godisgr8

          Hard to get Godisgreat… was already taken. Might want to think about that statement there. I can assure you God is not a disgrace.

      • Teto85

        LOL

      • godisgr8

        Actually you might want to forgo the coffee and get yourself some glasses instead.

        • HazooToo

          Oooooh, buuuuurn. I’ve got glasses. That’s why I can see that a President who supports white supremacists and brags about getting away with sexual assault is not the kind of man I want reading to my son. How do you justify supporting that, when you pray, btw?

    • davej1s

      Dear Godsadisgrace,
      Where the wild things are is particularly pertinent to the staff at the White House these days, it would seem to me. And, if you are looking for pertinent content for Easter, shouldn’t we be beating an imaginary sky guy nearly to death and hanging his ass on a wooden cross burying him in a borrowed cave to see if he jumps up a couple of days later?

      What do bunnies have to do with the imaginary holiday of easter anyway? BTW, Sean seems to be having trouble reading even those books.

      • godisgr8

        Well I will let you ask that question to your maker (God) who you will have to answer to someone day anyway. Good luck with that one! I have to say I am glad “The Wild Things” have vacated the White House. I had enough of that jungle for 8 years.

        • Harbinger08

          OOh, we will have to answer to your imaginary sky daddy and the Easter bunny, too, probably. What a day of reckoning that will be! I notice none of the oh-so-pious infesting the Republican party seem much concerned about being held accountable for their misdeeds, and they are many. Everyone noticed your sly racist jab, you’ll be pleased to know.

          • godisgr8

            No racist jab intended. The jungle was where “The Wild Things were. That is not what I meant. Come on! Please try to think better of people. I assure you God is not imaginary though. Just warning you about that. The Republicans and Democrats all have people who need to be accounted for their misdeeds. Being disrespectful to the President of the United States is not going to make things any better and that is what I am calling out on this article. Some of the things said and photos are reprehensible and unworthy of Americans.

          • Beautiful Soup

            Trump is unworthy of Americans. Agree 100%

          • Harbinger08

            So your god, which people told you about when were growing up, is the real one and not any of the 5 thousand other deities that humans have made up. Just yours. Keep in mind that those other believers thought the same thing about theirs. You can’t all be right. But you could all be wrong.

          • BeachLoafer

            I’ve been using the “you can’t all be right, but you could all be wrong” line with religious types for years – none of them seem to like it, which I personally find satisfying.

          • godisgr8

            I’ve been told that many times and it doesn’t bother me in the least. I know what I believe it and it’s roots go deep. I don’t call it religion…I call it faith.

          • BeachLoafer

            Those of us in the reality-based universe call it “willful ignorance.”

          • godisgr8

            I could be wrong but I rather be right just to be on the safe side. We are all going to answer to Him someday and remember Harbinger the Lord does love you whether you know Him or not. You are right …I was told all about God when I was growing up and have believed ever since.

          • Teto85

            God is real. Harry Potter and Batman told me so.

          • godisgr8

            Yes God is real and Harry Potter and Batman even know that. Ah yes the good fighting the evil. Sound familiar?

          • Teto85

            A myth over 10.000 years old.

          • Hamms Bear

            Enjoy your eternity in hell.

          • Harbinger08

            Oh, I will. All the best people will be there. Lucifer seems like a pretty cool dude, he’s got style.

          • doktorzoom

            Moron banhammered, and nothing of value was lost.

        • Big Googootz

          Thank you for LETTING someone ask God a question. That was mighty white of you.
          I will also ask God if he has any special plans for ignorant stank-ass racists. I’ll be sure pass answer on to you.

          • godisgr8

            Racists? I don’t see any racists here except all the snide racist remarks against our white President now. I don’t like how some of you treat someone of your own race. Assuming you are white. The things that were said about Obama were not even half as bad as what is being said about Trump and his family. Quite disturbing actually. And yes I am calling everybody out on it. Disgusts me!

          • Hamms Bear

            shut your cock holster, bitch.

        • Sarah E. Grove

          “that jungle?” You’re talking about the Obamas?

          Donald Trump is not fit to shine Barack Obama’s shoes when it come to brains and common sense. All I can say to you is “well, bless your little heart!” with a southern drawl.

          And that’s NOT a compliment, by the way.

          • BeachLoafer

            Why do I doubt Trump even knows how to shine shoes?

          • fifthdentist

            Trump doesn’t know how to TIE shoes.

          • Hamms Bear

            did you graduate from kindy garten?? Fuckin ho. Put the crack pipe down and close your legs, bitch.

      • Hamms Bear

        take the cock out of your mouth, faggot.

        • davej1s

          Awwww…thanks for sharing the homophobic bigotry, lack of understand of punctuation, capitalization, and polite conversation, Yogi.

    • Big Googootz

      That is funny!
      You were trying to be funny? Right?

    • Teto85

      Trump can’t read.

  • Rickyphoo

    Sigh! I miss the Obamas.

    • Keith Taylor

      You and me and all of us with the least trace of human standards left. And probably quite a few people who otherwise are yoyos, miss them too.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    I will watch the videos of Obamas telling us Easter tales as long as this administration (and Pence’s) last.

  • William

    It must have been weird for Melania to have an audience that wasn’t trying to stuff dollar bills in her thong. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/85350415df885500b26537e4b615b6c2f969870f51106390cc930d998ad33a0f.jpg

    • godisgr8

      You definitely would not want to have seen that with Obama and Michelle. I bet you keep this picture on you computer all day don’t you? Classy.

      • William

        “You definitely would not want to have seen that with Obama and Michelle” Of course not. Why would I want to look at a successful, fit lady with a Jurist Doctorate, when I can ogle a silicon boobed porn skank who lies about her education, steals other peoples speeches and costs us millions guarding her NY high rise. Classy! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/59f36474f458ebf63533a90ac25325d044cdbd140cc5a312c0292003115c81df.jpg

        • godisgr8

          I see you are a grandfather. That is nice. Just don’t let your grandkids see that picture. Remember children learn from their elders especially respect. These photos show no respect for the President or First Lady. Think about that. I know you never would of posted pictures of former First Lady Michelle like that.

  • rocktonsam

    never will understand Melon’s look of disdain on the masses.
    if Donald hadn’t saved her from whereverthehell she’d still eating cereal from a bucket.

  • davej1s

    I want to see Donnie’s coloring…I’ll bet he has trouble staying in the lines, IYKWIM.

    • Big Googootz

      DT does not own a book; not even a coloring book.

  • William

    Anyone else watch the White House porn actress reading to those kids? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a10f7b57c1154da4d12d4b7a00da93ac5320f2953a0cac9321e16ce7d830b051.jpg

  • Big Googootz

    Jeff Sessions tried to humor the kids by saying, “All of the colored eggs are hidden in the back and the white eggs are here in the front.”
    Only Smellyanne Conway and Trump snickered.

  • Sarah E. Grove

    Another thing I noticed: while trump was walking down a roped-off area, a kid asked very politely: “Mr. Trump, would you please sign my hat?”

    Now, regardless of how misguided the kid’s parents are for being fans of this asshole, they bought their kid a MAGA hat, and he wanted Trump’s autograph. So Trump grabs the hat, signs it, then tosses the hat out into the middle of the damned crowd at the rope line!

    The camera didn’t show the kid’s face, but a SS agent behind Trump had a shocked look on his face, while Trump just kept on walking! Clueless bastard — he proves it every single day.

    • Teto85

      President POS.

    • godisgr8

      He did throw it to the kid but you couldn’t see him in that video. That CNN video was not telling the truth. The kid was smiling and happy to get the hat back in another video I saw.. which they had shown from a different camera angle.

      • Chris Causey

        actually you lie. There was no other camera angle. Enjoy your finger chili.

  • Teto85

    It was so much fun when we had a real president and first family who could read and be articulate. Now we have this alt-POTUS and alt-FLOTUS. President Bamz and Michelle, I hope you are having a great vacation.

  • Leonard Jones

    TOTALLY FUCKING PHOTOSHPPED YOU LEFTIST COCK-SMOKERS!

    Watch the UNEDITED video you fucking morons!

    • Chris Causey

      dude. The unedited video is the one above. Are you just upset your orange moron is a failure? Or are you another snowflake repub that loves fake news so much you cant even recognize real news? The “fucking morons” are the people that voted for this inept clown.

      • Hamms Bear

        How is the president a failure??? Shut your cock holster, bitch!

        • Chris Causey

          Awwwe widdle snowfwake hamms bear getting a widdle upset? Ah then go build a wall so you can have your safe space dumbass. Hows he a failure? I guess you havent been paying attention to anything but fake news as usual.

    • Invidosa

      Aww look at you getting all conspiracy theory on us! Precious really.

  • Hamms Bear

    Evan Hurst, did you have a cock up your ass when you were writing this bullshit? Or was it down your throat, you faggot piece of shit.

Previous articleMike Pence Brings Message Of Peace, Love, Total Annihilation To Korea
Next articleDonald Trump Awfully Pissy About Those Tax Day Protests. GOOD JOB TAX DAY PROTESTERS!