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Actual cake baked by your 5DF on Marriage Day, 2015.

Last week there was a legit earthquake in the US legal system, and we hardly noticed. Between Gropey O’Reilly, Syria, and United Airlines re-accommodating that doctor’s face, we missed the fact that IT IS NOW ILLEGAL TO FIRE SOMEONE FOR BEING GAY. Holy shit, something good happened!!!

(If this does not meet your definition of “something good,” please GTFOH!)

The 7th Circuit held in Hively v. Ivy Tech Community College, No. 15-1720 that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is sex discrimination barred by Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. While it will undoubtedly be challenged in the Supreme Court, today — being a ruling by the highest court to address it thus far — it is the law of the land. This case itself is full of so much AWESOME and shows how far we’ve come as a society. Let’s Lawsplore!

Just the Facts

For 14 years, Kimberly Hively was an adjunct professor at Ivy Tech Community College in South Bend, Indiana. She applied for six full-time faculty positions at the school before being fired in 2014. Hively sued for sex discrimination, alleging that the school failed to promote her because she was an out lesbian. Ivy Tech moved to dismiss, arguing that there is no cause of action for sex discrimination based on orientation.

Meanwhile, Indiana was ginning up to pass its Religious Freedom Restoration Law, which allowed gayhaters free rein to discriminate in employment, housing and public accommodations. Because Jesus was quite clear when he gave the No Flower Arrangements for Adam and Steve sermon. Guess who signed the Happy Homophobes Law in 2015?

A good marriage requires sacrifices. From women who work for you.

But at every stage of this case, Ivy Tech was at pains to say that it does not support discrimination against homosexuals. In the past, those in favor of discrimination laws have all relied on some version of “gays are icky, because THE BIBLE.” Two weeks after Trump was elected, Ivy Tech’s lawyer John Maley flatly refused to make that argument.

Judge Posner: Where is the strong reliance interest in retaining an obsolete definition of sex? Who’s going to be hurt if lesbians and male homosexuals have a little more job protection? […]

Maley: Your Honor, I’m unable to identify one. If this Court were to do so within this Circuit, employers would adjust accordingly.

Wait, what???? Homophobia has become so unacceptable that we hesitate to bring up the wee feefees of employers who don’t want to hire The Gays???

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

Sexual Orientation, Gender: Same Difference

In 1989, the Supreme Court held that it was illegal for employers to penalize female employees for being insufficiently feminine. Price Waterhouse executive Ann Hopkins was repeatedly passed over for promotion because she was deemed too “aggressive” for a woman. Instead her supervisor advised her to “walk more femininely, talk more femininely, dress more femininely, wear make-up, have her hair styled, and wear jewelry.” The Court found that Price Waterhouse discriminated on the basis of sex because it penalized Hopkins for not conforming to gender stereotypes of how women should behavePrice Waterhouse v. Hopkins, 490 U.S. 228 (1989)

By the same logic, the 7th Circuit said that employers are engaging in sexual stereotyping when they expect employees to fall in love with people of the opposite sex.

The counterfactual we must use is a situation in which Hively is a man, but everything else stays the same: in particular, the sex or gender of the partner.

Hively alleges that if she had been a man married to a woman (or living with a woman, or dating a woman) and everything else had stayed the same, Ivy Tech would not have refused to promote her and would not have fired her.[…]

Viewed through the lens of the gender non-conformity line of cases, Hively represents the ultimate case of failure to conform to the female stereotype (at least as understood in a place such as modern America, which views heterosexuality as the norm and other forms of sexuality as exceptional): she is not heterosexual.

In other words, your boss can’t fire you because you don’t have the kind of sex he expects you to have based on whether you have ladybits or manparts.

Only the Phonies Get Protection

Since the Price Waterhouse case, courts have held tight to the idea that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is totally different from garden variety sex discrimination. But the Hively court pointed out how bizarre it would be for the law to protect Ann Hopkins who looked “butch,” but not protect Kimberly Hively, who is a lesbian.

Judge Posner: Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins seems to tell us that it violates Title VII to discriminate against a woman because she looks gay, and behaves outwardly as somebody who is gay. I have a hard time drawing a principled distinction between discrimination against somebody for looking gay and for being gay, and would invite your answer to that. […]

Judge Wood: So, in a sense, it’s only the phonies that get protection.

You can’t be fired for being FABULOUS, but getting canned because your boss finds out you got gay married five years ago is okay? Judge Wood cannot even with this foolishness.

The Legacy of Loving

In Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court struck down anti-miscegenation laws as racially discriminatory. Building on Loving, later courts found that employers were also barred from firing employees because they were in interracial relationships. By this logic, the 7th Circuit found that, if it’s illegal to fire someone because his wife is black, it must be illegal to fire him because his spouse is also a man.

This means that to the extent that the statute prohibits discrimination on the basis of the race of someone with whom the plaintiff associates, it also prohibits discrimination on the basis of the national origin, or the color, or the religion, or (as relevant here) the sex of the associate. No matter which category is involved, the essence of the claim is that the plaintiff would not be suffering the adverse action had his or her sex, race, color, national origin, or religion been different

Baby Boomer Judges, You Can’t Help But Love ‘Em

The oral argument in November had some hilarious moments, but it also showed aging judges trying to keep pace with sexual politics that are changing fast.

Judge Posner: Why do you think there are lesbians?

Maley: Ummmm…

Judge Bauer: What was the question?

Judge Posner: Why do you think there’s this type of person?

Maley: The caselaw has cited to…

Judge Posner: This is not a caselaw question. What is the cause of lesbianism?

Maley: It’s now immutable characteristic is what medical professionals are saying.

Judge Bauer: It’s not just ugly men, huh?

At 90 years old, Judge Bauer is the Grandpa Simpson of the 7th Circuit. But the other Judges are cautiously groping their way to an equitable result here. Judge Posner goes on to speculate that perhaps lesbians are biologically different enough to be “really a different sex.” Which sounds kind of … out there. Unless you understand that he is trying very hard to extend non-discrimination protections beyond the realm of employment law.

Remember those sweethearts from the National Organizaton for Marriage? Having lost their fight against gay marriage at the Supreme Court they’ve now turned their attention to picking on trans kids, because of course they have. Ivy Tech’s arguments parsing sex discrimination and sexual orientation are exactly the same ones that undergird anti-trans legislation. If the Supreme Court upholds the idea that Hively was fired because she didn’t conform to gender stereotypes, then it will probably find that schools cannot discriminate against Gavin Grimm for failing to behave like a stereotypical boy. So, thanks for the weird rambling, Judge Posner!

It could happen, even with Gorsuch on the Court. Remember, gay marriage was decided while Scalia was still kicking up shit in DC. For today, we’ll just celebrate with a little Randy Rainbow song about Indiana’s RFRA law.

[Hively v. Ivy Tech Community College, No. 15-1720 / HuffPo / Ivy Tech’s BriefOral Argument in Hively, audio Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins, 490 U.S. 228 (1989) / Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967)]

An entire post without using the word FUCK? Doesn’t that deserve some kind of reward for being appropriately ladylike?

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  • goonemeritus

    Can I still firer people for taking about their cat to much?

  • Chadwells
  • Villago Delenda Est

    Pence is a vile creature. No wonder he was Donald’s running mate. Birds of a feather.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I done heeard that he was Donnie’s running mate because Vlad was afraid he couldn’t control Christie.

  • schmannity

    Ivy Tech sounds like a safety school if Trump University doesn’t work out.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Is that in Riverdale?

  • schmannity

    Poor Pence dog looks like a hostage.

    • Chadwells

      LOL! For real!!

  • Anna Rompage

    “In other words, your boss can’t fire you because you don’t have the kind of sex he expects you to have”

    What is the world coming to? Next thing you know you’ll be saying it’s improper and illegal to tempt the new cute receptionist with a promotion in exchange for sex, and threaten to fire her if she doesn’t put out!

    But your honor, I bought her a $5 foot long 3 times over the period of a month…

    • goonemeritus

      I mostly assume none of my employees are getting any, God knows I wouldn’t sleep with any of them.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That’s crazy talk!
      If that happens, then they’ll prolly make butt-pinchin’s and boob-squeezin’s illegal too!

      • Pisto75666

        Well there’s MY whole day shot to hell!

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      They’re trying to get rid of 3-martini lunches, too. Bastards.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • dslindc

      I don’t haz a cat. Someone try this!

      • Vincent Ricola

        On it!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Didn’t work. Or my cats are dumb. Which is possible. Or they’ve already seen this on their Pinterest and didn’t feel like giving me the satisfaction. Also very possible.

    • theblackdog

      So tempted to try this so that maybe, just maybe my cat will do something other than jump up on the table to knock pens or other objects off to bat around the floor.

      • Marion in Savannah

        When they do that they’re exploring physics and the law of cause and effect. Mine are VERY studious…

        • LesBontemps

          I once had a cat that would flush the toilet then run behind it trying to figure out where the water went. In retrospect, I should have had him apprentice as a plumber.

        • OddMan

          All the cats are waiting for Schrödinger to come back.

      • calliecallie

        mr calliecallie plays a game with our cat where he sets little Lego people on the coffee table, and the cat knocks them down.
        Srsly, it wasn’t enough that we had our son’s leftover Lego people. We bought some new Lego people for our cat during the war on Christmas.

        • theblackdog

          *laughs* If I could now just figure out some similar toys besides the balls and springs he already has.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            My cat also enjoys rubber bands and those ribbons you get to decorate xmas presents.

          • Tiny kaiju

            Mine likes sales receipts and foam insulation. Also bugs of all kinds. I’m waiting for the day she tries to eat a wasp.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Wait’ll he finds out what happens when he spreads them along the path from the bedroom to the bathroom in the dark.

          • calliecallie

            Learned those lessons long ago when our son was small.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        When we moved, we found an ungodly number of pens under the bed that had been secreted there by ferrets.

        And all this time, we’d been blaming the kid for losing them.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Careful, that’s how cats summon demons to suck the breath from babies.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I am testing this theory after work instead of my regularly scheduled laundry chores.

      • Nockular cavity

        Laundry can wait. Expanding the world’s knowledge of cat behavior helps us all.

        • Christinecmyers

          I’ve made $84,000 so far this year working online and I’m a full time student. I’m using an online business opportunity I heard about and I’ve made such great money. It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it. The potential with this is endless. Here’s what I do
          !wr639c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs639SolutionManagement/GetPaid$97/Hour ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫:::!wr639u:……

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I’ve always seen this as circles, not squares, but I think any defined shape would work. My cat likes to sit directly under one of my smoke detectors, because in the dark, it shines a circular light on the floor. Really.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank
    • Marion in Savannah

      I’m off to test this out on my herd…

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Clowder. Or glaring. A glaring of cats seems to work better in my mind.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I have a hard time drawing a principled distinction between discrimination against somebody for looking gay and for being gay

    Damn, that’s a hell of a pull quote, Judge Posner. We need to get that on some embroidered pillows or something…

  • Nounverb911

    Is Pence’s dog a boy dog or a girl dog? Just wondering if Pence is allowed to spend time with it alone….

  • TJ Barke

    When will TLM come by to tell us his masturbatory fantasies?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      After he cleans his room, takes out the garbage, and pooper-scoops the lawn. Then he’ll get told what the Wi-Fi password is.

    • MynameisBlarney

      School’s not out for another 4 hours or so.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Gad, I just can’t believe an employer telling you how to behave, down to the level of your mannerisms!

    “Judy, femme it up a little, wouldya? Put some swish in that step! Attagirl!”

    It’s like a bad comedy routine or something.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, the Hopkins case is something to behold – the Supreme Court cites the Federal District Court’s ruling, which stated that “[o]ne partner repeatedly commented that he could not consider any woman seriously as a partnership candidate, and believed that women were not even capable of functioning as senior managers — yet the firm took no action to discourage his comments, and recorded his vote in the overall summary of the evaluations.”

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Sissy that walk!!
      https://youtu.be/M4d20Tyzlv0

    • Querolous
  • In the past, those in favor of discrimination laws have all relied on some version of “gays are icky, because THE BIBLE.”

    Because literally that is ALL that they have.

    I remember being a waning fundamentalist with a libertarian bent practically begging conservative fundies for some secular argument against gay marriage, and all I got was crickets.

    I guess I should be grateful for that. It was the start of my journey to becoming a liberal democratic socialist who realized it was no one’s business what people wanted to do with their bodies.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I tore our state congressidiot a new one precisely because he used this line of reasoning to justify HB 1523, Mississippi’s “Keep Out the Fags” bill. When I asked him how he could square the fact that I happened to be an active Christian who also happens to fancy buttsexing my husband from time to time, I also got crickets in response.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        He could’ve at least given you a huffy “REASONS!!1!”

        • elviouslyqueer

          Well, his was more “We’ll have to agree to disagree.” Yea, fuck THAT particular brand of noise.

      • Me not sure

        Wait. I’m confused. Is it the buttsexing that’s making the cricket sound? I thought that they just rubbed their legs together.

        • Insufficient lube?

          • Me not sure

            Chiirrrup!

      • You should also have pointed out that heterosexual couples sometimes indulge.

      • NastyBossetti

        I read this as, “who also happens to be fancy buttsexing my husband,” and I wondered what fancy buttsex was. Like, is champagne involved? A really expensive hotel? Formalwear?
        But no, it just turns out I can’t read.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          I read it that way too, and I realized that I need to significantly upscale my buttsex game to FANCY, ’cause it ain’t there.

  • Me not sure

    I think that she loves the dog more than anything. …No, really!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Guess who signed the Happy Homophobes Law in 2015?

    Great–now my two dogs want me to hightail it to V-POTUS’ house to rescue the poor dog. Thanks, Pence!

  • Chadwells

    Kind of a “smile and a slap” happy time…but I’ll take what I can get today.

  • LesBontemps

    Karen Pence holds the family beagle as the Vice President considers man-on-dog action.

  • Crystalclear12

    One happy vs how much BS?
    Crap.

  • memzilla Ω

    Instead her supervisor advised her to “walk more femininely, talk more femininely, dress more femininely, wear make-up, have her hair styled, and wear jewelry.” The Court found that Price Waterhouse discriminated on the basis of sex because it penalized Hopkins for not conforming to gender stereotypes of how women should behave. Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins, 490 U.S. 228 (1989)

    In other legal discovery news, the supervisor’s admonition to his female employee was later found to have been incorporated as HR Department policy at Faux ‘News.’

    • Thiazin Red

      That reminds me of a recent case in the UK, where the government decided that employers couldn’t force women to wear heels.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Price Waterhouse executive Ann Hopkins was repeatedly passed over for promotion because she was deemed too “aggressive” for a woman. Instead her supervisor advised her to “walk more femininely, talk more femininely, dress more femininely, wear make-up, have her hair styled, and wear jewelry.”

    And if she had done those things, you know the asshole supervisor would have told her she wasn’t assertive and strong enough for the job. Glad she won her case at least.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Reading the plurality decision, you can see P-W came *just* short of calling her a ball-breaking bitch (instead they used terms like “macho” and “needs to go to charm school”). One manager expressed dismay that she used profanity, not because he disliked profane language but because it wasn’t ladylike.

      • NastyBossetti

        God help the motherfucker who tells me to be more ladylike!

        • notaten

          I had a supervisor once write in my evaluation that he was marking me down because”She drinks, smokes, and uses foul language”. I asked him to remove that part, he refused, so I took it to my department head. He read it and said “What the fuck is this shit?” I laughed and laughed while watching that supervisor take those words out. I kept the original eval, I’m actually kind of proud of it.

          • NastyBossetti

            haha! I once got fired for being “sullen and disdainful.”

    • Vincent Ricola

      Luckily she didn’t have a private server in her basement, otherwise they would’ve been legally allowed to fire her and wear shirts with her face on them that said “fuck this bitch” and then send her to lady prison, I think.

  • Michael R

    Rats , I thought we could get rid of these two pervs .

    https://s16.postimg.org/94wa8e7r9/trump_pence_kiss_under_5.gif

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I hear a fart noise in my head when I see that mouth move.

      • OrG

        It’s not in your head.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Liar! That was the dog!

      • Michael R

        ” Hey Mike , ever taste a chocolate starfish ? “

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is just creepy as fuck.

    • LesBontemps

      It’s like there’s a force-field of homophobia around Pence that prevents The Donald from actually getting his lips on him. In any event, this video is gross and now I need eye bleach.

    • Nockular cavity

      If Trump ever actually kissed Pence, we would never see the VP again.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Works for me.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Boy, now that this pornhub is reader supported, the porn has really gone downhill.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Beanz&Berryz

    5DF knocks another one outta the park.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • OrG

      Guilty as fuck,and not a secret to the spooks.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      So that’s why Dolt 45 threw shit at the British.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Say, you know who else didn’t care much for the “phonies”?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Scrooge McDuck?

    • LesBontemps

      Alexander Graham Bell?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Ernestine?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Big String & Dixie Cup?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Holden Caulfield?

      Sigh, if there was a way I could pour bleach directly onto my brain to erase my memory of that book.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I hated Holden Caulfield. Which I am not sure was what was intended.

        • Claire

          I think he was intended to at the very least be sort of exasperating.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            #MissionAccomplished

    • TJ Barke

      Hipsters.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “It’s about AUTHENTICITY!”

    • Nockular cavity

      Holden Caulfield?

    • Shucky Ducky

      Claude Chappe?

    • Anna Rompage

      The nihilists that make up the Tealiban in this country?

    • Mpeg

      The creators of “My Little Phony: Friendship is MagicBackstabbing, Two-Faced and Full of Betrayal Half the Time“?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Little Red Riding Hood?

    • Crank Tango

      John Hinckley Jr.?

  • Chadwells
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Hearts and minds, WON!1!

      • What a great ad that will make in 2018!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Another wonderful specimen of the curdled milk of human kindness right here.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Bullcrap: when you want to sound tough, but don’t have the stones to say “shit.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      Does the Rep stand for Reprehensible, Reptilian, or Reprobate?

    • TJ Barke

      I hope he gets set on vote.

    • Nockular cavity

      Constituent service, just like you read about!

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Service with a snarl?

        • Jeffery Campbell

          That boy’s got a career with United Airlines.

    • Markwayne? Could his cousin parents not decide?

    • TJ Barke

      Representative government, ur doin it rong!

    • Crank Tango

      Then stop collecting a check, asshole.

    • efoveks

      Regardless, he is still a paid public servant, even if he donates his paycheck or turns it back into the general fund. The job he was elected to do, does not change because he has the PRIVILEGE of choosing what to do with his compensation. What a dumbfuck.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      So, you’re donating all your salary to charity? Cool!

  • Mavenmaven

    What ever happened to Mike Pence? He seems to have disappeared.

    • LesBontemps

      And the problem is?

      • Mavenmaven

        I don’t want him escaping responsibility when the time of reckoning finally transpires.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    The courts would be well served to listen to the opinion of jurist Lenny Bruce – i never met a dyke i didn’t like

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Gorsuch is gonna be so mad, you guys about known libtard and so-called Judge Posner being super mean about textual originalism.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    TLM’s gonna be so mad. Or relieved. I’m never sure.

    • TJ Barke

      Right after he finishes jackin’ it.

    • We can always hope he’ll come up with new way to obsess about what gays are doing.

  • Iron Monkey

    At 90 years old, Judge Bauer is the
    Grandpa Simpson of the 7th Circuit. But the other Judges are cautiously
    groping their way to an equitable result here.

    When you are old, even if less than 90 years, all your groping is cautious. Gotta be careful, might break a hip.

    • Vecchioivan

      Old judge yells at cloud.

  • baconzgood

    Baconzpissed

    • TJ Barke

      The escape not go as planned?

    • Shanzgood

      You still out?

    • Anna Rompage

      Deep breaths!

  • Nounverb911
  • Zonath

    Posner is usually a good read, and his concurring opinion really throws a few barbs at the sacred cows of the current conservative establishment, what with him calling out Fox News for being a place where sexual harassment is “pervasive” or name checking Justice Scalia in support of his argument against originalism:

    “But as I noted earlier, statutory and constitutional provisions frequently are interpreted on the basis of present need and understanding rather than original meaning. Think for example of Justice Scalia’s decisive fifth vote to hold that burning the American flag as a political protest is protected by the free-speech clause of the First Amendment, provided that it’s your flag and is not burned in circumstances in which the fire might spread.”

    Posner really seems to be a judge who decided long ago that he didn’t have to throw his brain out the damn window an toe the Federalist Society line in order to be a conservative.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Kinda a bit like what I call good old school moderate republicans. Folks you could disagree with on some details and still find a mutually satisfying middle ground. Oregon used to have lots of them even as electeds. But not really any get elected anymore. They can’t survive the weed roots in the primaries. Hence, republicans almost never get elected statewide here anymore.

      • Zonath

        Yeah, I was honestly pretty surprised when Dennis Richardson was elected SOS here. Hatfield, Packwood, and Smith were also pretty reasonably moderate, even if Packwood ended up being pretty gross on a personal level.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And McCall also too. Ya. Richardson was a surprise. I haven’t really pondered that election. My recollections … Hatfield: fiscal moderate republican but almost ardent pacifist with anti-abortion streak. Packwood: also fiscal moderate but pretty strong supporter of women’s rights and issues (maybe just to be around them, but he was consistent in his voting support)

          • Zonath

            Sadly, the first election I was able to vote in was the “Contract on America” election in 1994, so the age of moderate Republicans was mostly over by that time. Still, I have heard stories of the before time, the long long ago…

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It’s also the reason why he’s not a Supreme Court justice; he’s awesomely brilliant, but too libertarian and not God-bothery enough for the GOP’s taste. That said, he’s also extremely pro-business and overly credulous towards the police. Essentially, he’s a Republican of the Eisenhower type, pro-business, skeptical of populism, and anti-government regulation of all types. His kind, sadly, are dying out in favor of religious lunatics.

    • Vecchioivan

      What did you think of “A Failure of Capitalism”?

      • Zonath

        It’s been on my reading list for awhile now. I’ll get to it eventually.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      When I read him on those same-sex adoption cases in 2014, it was clear that Posner is really not interested in listening to the certifiably stupid and cray cray. He will have none of it, thank you very much.

      I can’t blame him either. Can any of you wonketters imagine how mind-numbing it’d be to have to question and listen to those god-botherers???

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Pence dog doesn’t look happy at all.

  • Nounverb911

    I just saw on the internets that Pence’s dog has called Animal Rescue to get him the hell away from Ma and Pa Pence….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/77fb3f9b0ffcee44f6b7cbe69971aa05d5b955c89259fe0ce21194f435c3cf58.jpg

    • Anna Rompage

      If Mike isn’t allowed to have dinner alone with a woman other than his wife, I can only imagine what happens when he’s left alone with the dog…

      It would be careless not to speculate, am I right?

      I mean just look at the expression on the dogs face… That is not a happy pooch…

      BTW, where is Mike’s Pence’s left hand in that picture anyways?

    • rosenbomb

      The doggie died a few months ago. Wonket yelled at Jezebel for being rude about it, actually!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Donald the Even Smaller has a few brain cells firing on this.

    Donald Trump Jr. mocked LGBT students and activists at Pittsburgh’s Duquesne University who oppose the opening of Chick-fil-A restaurant on campus in a tweet Thursday, calling them #triggered.

    Smarmy little bastard.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-jr-triggered-chick-fil-a

    • Nounverb911
      • not_vh

        i would like to see uday to try his stunt with own own hands.
        mano-a-ele-mano.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Does that tiny thing in his hand (which has never cut anything) glow blue in his father’s presence?

      • wait! what?

        So that’s how Billy Mays died.

    • efoveks

      He thinks he’s cool when he uses the latest lingo…

    • elviouslyqueer
      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        How European of them.

        How I want to throw up.

      • efoveks

        Even in that pick, the lesser one is a pale imitation.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
        • Shanzgood

          Wot?

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Is “Rocky Horror” illegal in southern Kansas?

            Up in Lawrence, I went every month.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh. No, they show it but I’ve never watched it. Not even in Lawrence.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            It really is a classic. When I was young, my gay bff took me to see it and helped me get out of my white suburban shell.

          • Shanzgood

            I grew up with commie pinko pot-smoking armed revolutionary union agitators so I never felt the urge.

      • The Wanderer

        “To each his own,” said the farmer as he kissed the cow.

    • efoveks

      Small words from a small man.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      As impressive as his excuse for a chin.

    • elviouslyqueer

      True story. I recently went to a ribbon cutting for a Chick-Fil-A catering operation. The folks were perfectly nice and even fed us. But when they started talking about the founder and his sons, it became very creepy and almost cult-like. And yes, they brought up the whole “Chick-Fil-A Hates Gays” fandango and (of course) explained that the whole thing was “taken out of context.”

      And TBPH, the chicken kinda sucked.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I still flip ’em the bird each and every time I pass them.

      • Shanzgood

        My daughter is still unhappy about not going there any more.

      • MynameisBlarney

        If you like a shit-load of salt on your dried out chicken sammiches, then Chik-Fil-A has you covered.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          It’s that magical combination of salt, sugar, bigotry and good, old-fashioned stupidity.

          • Pisto75666

            With pickle (tickle) on top!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Imma just leave this here, in case He Of No Chin decides to swing by:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO-msplukrw

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        “We just want a little meat without your bible.”

        Classic recipe.

    • NastyBossetti

      hahahaah the picture on that article is too good.

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah, how dare they raise objections to being marginalized and having their rights eroded?!

    • Pisto75666

      They might be triggered (Jesus fucking christ, for 2018 can we please blast the words ‘triggered’ and ‘cuck’ into the fucking sun please?), but you’re still the Orange Fuhrer’s son so, guess who still wins, asshole?

  • Wild Cat

    That photo. There’s a beastiality joke lurking in there somewhere, but to the dog, it’s no joke.

    • That poor dog. It’s eyes are pleading, “Get me out of here!”

      • Shanzgood

        Isn’t that the one who died and there was a Wonkette article about “don’t be a dick about the dead dog”?

  • calliecallie

    I keep telling myself I should walk more femininely, talk more femininely, dress more femininely, wear make-up, have my hair styled, and wear jewelry. But it’s just too much work.

    • Yellerduck

      Yeah, I know. It’s hours every day, and then if my wife won’t loan me any of her clothes, all for nothing.

      • Shanzgood

        You could just do what my XH did and borrow them without asking OR telling her for 15 years.

  • calliecallie

    That Randy Rainbow number was just perfect!

  • btwbfdimho

    To paraphrase VP Pence: I’m never in bed with another person unless accompanied by my wife.

  • Thaumaturgist

    OT: in Uganda, it is a criminal offense to Twitt that His Excellency the president is “a pair of buttocks”. (Stolen from behind the paywall at WaPo.) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a1257ea883fbcd4fc0241dde403684fb83159535ed8da964c1ea930118c386b.jpg

    • not_vh

      who who else is a pair of buttocks, albeit sometimes soiled?

    • wait! what?

      But if you tweet he’s a single buttock it’s just considered a little cheek.

    • The Wanderer

      Is it permissible to call him “the south end of a northbound bullock?”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    OT, except for the impending pagan fertility pageant:
    https://www.facebook.com/1238924362788111/photos/a.1239848046029076.1073741827.1238924362788111/1823978494282692/?type=3 Who ascended into the heavens and was the son of a carpenter? Da. Yuri Gagarin.

    • not_vh

      he & valentina tereshkova are da man

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Spams in cans.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      That’ll show em! They’ll all have to go out and get jobs that aren’t there or that they aren’t trained or qualified for.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Since turmp and keebler are deporting everyone, I reckon they’ll try to make these people work the farms.
        Of course, they’ll want a living wage and the price of food will skyrocket.

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        “Pull yourself up by the bootstraps! No reason you can’t work four jobs at fast food places to make ends meet until you die and decrease the surplus population! Just find a way to physically put five more hours into the week and you’re set.”

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Just fucking awful. Republican politicians have no humanity.

      • TJ Barke

        The republican motto; I got mine, fuck you.

        • efoveks

          And if I can take yours, it’s mine.

      • MynameisBlarney
        • wait! what?

          He’d create an epic grindr account.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            I’d hit that.

          • wait! what?

            Like the side of a tree on the forest moon of Endor?

          • Jeffery Campbell

            I like my Jeebus with rock-hard abs.

    • jesterpunk

      But if they keep voting for Republicans eventually their policies will help them.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDlT1OMGD28

    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      Well, in 2018, they’ll have two more votes against them. That may not count for much, but my wife and I have discussed this at length and we’re both voting for the most liberal candidates in the election. Screw these vultures. . . With votes.

  • Incoming “Enough Already” Ham

    I wonder how much they tithe per week…

    • jesterpunk

      They only have the discrimination benefits of being a person with religious beliefs. Tithing is one of those socialist things, they are job creators and need to keep all their money and dont give it to the poors.

      • Incoming “Enough Already” Ham

        I was going for “tithe” as a euphemism but you are totally correct.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I might even turn on cable news for that shit.

      Maybe. On second thought, perhaps CNN can still go fuck itself.

      • I am sure the wonkette and the raw stories and even the politicos and the like will live blog it anyway

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        The answer is always “CNN can still go fuck itself.” In an ever changing world, that is one constant we can all hold on to.

    • NastyBossetti

      It will have the best ratings of all time.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Yoooge! Big league! The fucker will actually brag about it!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Unfortunately I have a sad feeling that Trump will not be impeached. Most likely the only way we’re going to get him out of the white house before 2024, is if we vote him out before hand, and we will only have one chance to do that in 2020, so we better not blow it.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh hell no.
        I ain’t even thinkin’ that shit.
        No.
        He will impeached, charged, tried fairly and convicted.
        As will his minions.

        • CriticalDragon1177

          I’m not going to get my hopes up. Besides, even if Trump is kicked out of the White House by congress, we’ll still end up with Mike Pence as president, until at least 2020

          • MynameisBlarney

            As I’ve said before. at least Pence won’t drag us headlong into nuclear war.
            We know how to deal with the kind of bullshit he will bring to table.

            Turmp….that ignorant fucker is unpredictable.
            He needs to go.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • wait! what?

      Looks like the game controller for the new game Donald Dance.

  • wait! what?

    Note to self:

    Bitdefender DOES NOT protect, or defend, ladybits.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    “Freedom means never having to associate with someone who is a different color, has different equipment, different beliefs, or is icky and can give me cooties.”

    – Ronald Jesus Reagan GOP III (Esq.)

    Seriously though: yay nicetime!

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet
    • CriticalDragon1177

      Humans are also the only species that build airplanes, yet homophobes usually don’t complain about them being “unnatural” even through they are. People who think that being gay is “unnatural” either need to study biology, or in particular the bonobos, or they have no idea what the term “natural” actually means.

      • Kitten’sMittens

        Lubrication is unnatural.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Ow! Ow! Ow! C’mon man!

    • Zyxomma

      Shared.

  • bookish
    • jesterpunk

      Didnt he said that never came up or was that another Trump stooge?

      • bookish

        The Russia story is so convoluted that I have trouble keeping up with it.

        • jesterpunk

          I think we need a score card or something at this point.

  • AJ Milne

    Canadian marijuana bill now officially presented to the legislature…

    … meaning, among other things, I’m gonna win a bet.

    • The Wanderer

      Huzzah!

    • timpundit

      I think Canada is targeting me to retire there. At least I choose to believe that.

    • timpundit

      Also too, cram a moose antler up your ass, Sessions.

      • The Wanderer

        He might like that.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Might?

          • The Wanderer

            I don’t know the little house-elf personally, so I’m unsure as to his proclivities.

          • Major_Major_Major

            He’s a vocal traditional marriage proponent, so it is a better than even chance he has been hanging hunting trophies naked and accidentally fell on the horns.

    • NastyBossetti

      Visits to the in-laws are about to get much more relaxed!

      • AJ Milne

        Me, I’m just pleased with how the international image of Canadians is evolving from ‘amiable hosers’ to ‘amiable stoned hosers’.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          That flannel shirt is now a “Kenora smoking jacket”.

    • YourNameHere

      Yes! Good luck! I’m going to go congratulate my bff.

  • bookish

    The feather boa with a tailored suit is a nice look.

  • marxalot

    By the transitive property, if mixed-race marriage is legal as determined by the Supreme Court, and you cannot be fired for being in one, and you also cannot be fired on the basis of being a person who might be in one; then, since same-sex marriage is legal as determined by the Supreme Court, you should not be able to be fired for being in one, or for being a person who might be in one. Which may be the most positive knock-on effect of marriage equality: it gives us a demonstrable case of being a protected class, which we can hopefully extend to other parts of life.
    Also, hooray! It’s not an ENDA, but it’s not nothing!

  • The Wanderer

    This is very nice, as I reside in one of the states where it is (now was, maybe) permissible to be fired if one is LGBTQ.

  • Serai 1

    “Third sex” categorization is hardly a new thing, and that judge certainly didn’t invent the idea.

    • The Wanderer

      In Pakistan, I think, they’re called kinnars.

  • cats530

    Nice picture of Pence and the woman he calls “Mother.”

    • The Wanderer

      Reagan called Nancy “Mommy.”

      • Serai 1

        You know, that’s not so fucking unusual. When a wife starts to have children, she acquires an alternate name, usually mommy or mom. Sometimes the dad starts calling her that, too. My dad calls my mom mami at times. If we’re going to point fingers at wingnuts for being icky, maybe choose something that isn’t done by people who aren’t actually icky.

        • The Wanderer

          I was making the observation, not pointing fingers.

          • Serai 1

            You brought it up as a backup to the comment about Pence. That makes it sound like you’re agreeing with the whole “calling a wife mommy = OMG PERVERT” thing.

          • When you are that old, it is icky, no matter who you are.
            It is all “you have no identity other than child rearing that you finished with 20 years ago” icky.
            Sorry, it is icky.

          • cats530

            “It is all “you have no identity other than child rearing that you finished with 20 years ago”

            That’s sad too : (

          • Serai 1

            Whatever.

      • cats530

        Curiouser and curioser. Wonder what happens in the repressed Republican psyche that grown men call their wives “mother or mommy?”

        • Serai 1

          Their wives have children. The children call them “mommy”. It’s called a “family joke”. Lots of families have them, and it’s not unusual at all for husbands to do that.

          • cats530

            Yes, a family joke and I get it and to each their own and it’s their thing. I’d just be irked (and not at all flattered) if my husband called me “mommy” or “mother” in public. I spend enough time telling him to clean up after himself and I am NOT his mother!

          • TakingAmes

            Yes. This.

          • Internet Hitler

            It’s mainly so kids don’t get confused about who is being talked about. The creepy part is the guys who still call wives mommy when the kids aren’t around – or have moved out. Looking at you zombie Reagan.

          • Kitten’sMittens

            Isn’t it a dirty joke? Families shouldn’t share that kind.

          • Serai 1

            How is acknowledging that a woman has children a dirty joke? We claim the right is perverted, but damn if I don’t hear a fuckload of dirty-minded insinuating gossip coming from our side as well.

          • Alan

            My wife finds it offensive.

          • Serai 1

            So? My mother finds it funny and cute. Marga thinks it’s silly, and my friend Joanne in Pasadena says it reminds her of her parents, which makes it comforting. Isn’t it interesting how everyone is different?

          • Alan

            Yep. I’m not sure if she’s more annoyed that I find it funny that she’s annoyed or that the dog thinks her name is Mom.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I am worried for teh pupper. “Every day, thousands of dogs like these are forced to live in homes filled from floor to ceiling with toxic derp. Won’t you please give what you can to help us find them a loving home, where they don’t have to hear that Lincoln was Hitler or that Neil Patrick Harris is Satan because of what he does with his ding-dong?”

  • Jonny On Maui

    I’m sure this has been said…

    An entire post without using the word FUCK? Doesn’t that deserve some kind of reward

    Here? Nope!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Remember, gay marriage was decided while Scalia was still kicking up shit in DC.

    Not only that, but he very astutely (and irritably) predicted it was coming.

  • Internet Hitler

    Waiting for a proposed amendment saying that gays need to make a “reasonable effort” to not be gay. Perhaps a waiting period will be involved.

  • JParkerSD46

    The look on Pence’s dog’s face pretty much says it all. “Kill me now. Just get me away from these crazy fucks.” And just where is Mike’s left hand as “Mother” holds poor Fido still?

  • CriticalDragon1177

    I’m actually really disappointed. For a moment I thought it was the supreme court who had made this ruling. Since it was only the 7th circuit court. Doesn’t that technically mean that in some states it could still be legal to fire someone for being gay?

    • dshwa

      I think it works like this: If there’s a conflicting ruling from a different circuit yes states could still fire people. If not, then unless the Supreme Court overturns it, it becomes defacto law, at least until another circuit rules differently. The Supreme​ Court would be forced to take it up and make a ruling then.

    • RugzYaBurnt

      You can be fired for being gay in 31 of these fifty nifty United States. If you’re trans, it’s worse: https://www.fastcompany.com/3057357/heres-everywhere-in-america-you-can-still-get-fired-for-being-lgbt

  • Kitten’sMittens

    Damn, niggas here are still trying to be able to sue for race discrimination and BAM! Homos got it like THAT! I suppose folks can sympathize, idk, because gay comes in all colors. Indiana is the state that is ran by the bible of institutional racism.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Hey, guess who will just happen to be sharing a brand-new shinny building with my university next year?!?!? Yup, It’s Indiana’s finest, Fuck the Gays Tech!!!! I’m so happy I could shit.

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    Yay! Randy Rainbow! That is really all I have left today.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Since Mother Pence is sitting beside him in that picture, I assume it’s acceptable for a bitch to be included in the photo.

  • Alan

    I’m disappointed. I assumed she was having lesbian sex on the table in front of her class.

  • Lily412

    I hope that this ruling proves fruitful, but for those people who work in at-will employment states, they can be fired at any time and employers don’t even have to give a reason; as long as they say nothing or claim there was another reason for firing, discrimination is still a concrete possibility. /sigh

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Let’s Lawsplore!”

    I’ve missed these FDF. You’d be surprised (or maybe not) how little law I get to work with at a law firm.

    Yeah.

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