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OK, let’s get a thing out of the way at the outset: Sean Spicer is A Idiot. So we will very charitably suggest that it’s possible that he had ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT HE WAS SAYING during his Tuesday briefing, when he suggested that this Syrian dude Assad is way worse than Hitler, because PFFFFFFT it’s not like Hitler gassed people. Wait, hold on, what? Back up. No, he just meant it was different because Assad gasses people from airplanes, whereas Hitler only did gassing at the “Holocaust Centers,” which we guess are like community centers, except for all the gassing. WAIT BACK UP AGAIN, WHAT? And of all weeks to chew his foot off on live TV and sound like a great big Holocaust denier, Spicer chose Passover week to make this fuck-up? Everybody has already made the joke, but we bet United Airlines is like “Sometimes you get reach-arounds from the strangest places!” right now.

Let’s start with Spicer’s first fuck-up, in response to a question from Fox News Radio’s John Decker:

DECKER: The alliance between Russia and Syria is a strong one. It goes back decades. President Putin has supplied personnel, he has supplied military equipment to the Assad government. What makes you think at this point that he’s going to pull back his support for President Assad and for the Syrian government right now?

SPICER: I think a couple things. You look — we didn’t use chemical weapons in World War II. You had a — someone who is despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons.

Oh, DID HE NOT? Sorry to all the Jewish people (and Kurt Vonnegut readers) out there who know the name of the chemical weapon (Zyklon B) Hitler used to gas the Jews by heart, for you must have been mistaken. Happy Passover, though!

Let’s try this again. ABC’s Cecilia Vargas asked for a clarification, and you need to watch the video, because as a Twitter-er points out, the faces of the reporters behind Vargas as Spicer tried to answer are WOW:

VARGAS: Quote, “Hitler didn’t even sink to the level of using chemical weapons.” What did you mean by that?

SPICER: I think when you come to Sarin gas, there was no — he was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Ashad (sic) is doing. I mean, there is clearly — thank you. I appreciate that. There was not — in the — he brought them into the Holocaust centers, I understand that. But I’m saying, in the way that Assad used them, where he went into towns, dropped them down to innocent, into the middle of towns, it was brought — so the use of it, I appreciate the clarification there. That was not the intent.

OK wait, hold up. First of all, were German Jews not Hitler’s “own people”? Second, is Spicer saying he was kidding and he totally gets how Hitler gassed Jews (and LGBTs and other minorities also too), but he sees a big difference between whether you take people to the Holocaust Center before you Holocaust them, or if you just do it all willy-nilly doy doy doy out of airplanes? Is that MORE WORSER? Lastly, again, “HOLOCAUST CENTERS”?

What in the name of fuck-all that is holy is he even trying to say? Time for take three, as the AP has a statement Spicer emailed to reporters, to re-clarify his clarification:

“In no way was I trying to lessen the horrendous nature of the Holocaust. I was trying to draw a distinction of the tactic of using airplanes to drop chemical weapons on population centers. Any attack on innocent people is reprehensible and inexcusable.”

After that, Spicer sent ANOTHER clarification, where he used the same words, but changed “innocent people” to “population centers,” because wait, were the Holocaust victims not innocent????

AND THEN, UNBELIEVABLY, HE CLARIFIED AGAIN, keeping “population centers,” but re-adding a thing about innocent people:

OK, no more “clarifying,” because it is time for Sean Spicer, Shut Your Fucking Mouth.

We have an idea. We think that nobody in the Trump White House, except maybe Jared and Ivanka, is allowed to say anything about Jewish people ever again. Firstly, they are all BAD AT IT. Of course, who among us doesn’t accidentally deny the Holocaust here and there, JUST KIDDING FUCKING NONE OF US ACCIDENTALLY DENY THE HOLOCAUST HERE AND THERE. That is not a thing.

This is a pattern. The Trump White House forgot to mention Jews in its statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day. (Because if you mention Jews, you have to do a whole list of other people who were killed, and it’s a well known fact that lists are TOO LONG.) Shareblue’s Tommy Christopher points out that Trump didn’t see fit to go to the White House Passover seder. Meanwhile, there is an actual Hungarian Nazi named Sebastian Gorka serving as a senior adviser, and the fucking president of the United States is basically a Nazi himself, and his name is Steve Bannon.

OH! OH! OH! Remember that time Sean Spicer picked a fight with the Anne Frank Center, because he thought they were being too whiny and refusing to acknowledge all the MANY GOOD THINGS Trump does for The Jews?

Speaking of the Anne Frank Center, they’ve officially had it:

Yeah, Spicey, it’s probably time to go. Don’t worry, we’re sure Melissa McCarthy will do a fine “Saturday Night Live” impression of whatever douchebag Trump picks as your replacement.

YOU. ARE. FIRED.

The rest of you do whatever it is you do in your OPEN THREADS.

Wonkette is MAD. Also, we are funded by readers like you! If this shit makes you MAD, click below to throw us some of your mad dollars!

[AP]

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  • Belasaurius

    . I just can’t even anymore with this guy. He’s either:
    1. a Holocaust denier
    2. so stupid he doesn’t realize Zyklon B is a chemical agent
    3. just plain fucking stupid
    4. all of the above

  • Apple Scruff

    Obligatory —

    IDEA: How About Sean Spicer Shut His Fucking Mouth About Jews Forever?

    • Wee Mousie

      Someone really needs to gift Sean with a stick of Crazy-Glue Lip Balm.

  • Reximus

    “The White House announced today Press Secretary Sean Spicer has left to pursue an opportunity with United Air Lines.”

    • Wee Mousie

      In handcuffs.

  • dslindc
    • memzilla Ω

      Even Hitler didn’t cheat at golf.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Nobody asked for Hitler’s birth certificate.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Which, considering he was Austrian, was probably for the best.

          • Lamashtar

            He retroactively registered as a Greater Germany resident!

    • BadKitty904

      Even Hitler didn’t betray his country to Russia.

    • GuidedAccordingly

      Even Hitler didn’t eat burned steak with ketchup.

  • Belasaurius

    I’m gonna get comfy and wait for the Holocaust deniers to show up

  • Iron Monkey

    This guy so deep into “Could fuck up a one-car funeral” territory that there is no getting out.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It’s the traffic lights that get you.

    • Wee Mousie

      You mean like parking his limo in the excavated grave and secreting the coffin in a line of port-a-potties?

    • willi0000000

      RAM SPEED!!!!!

  • chazmanr

    Do I really have to wait almost 4 years to stop being embarrassed to admit that I am an American?

    • FlownΩver

      Depends – how are the demands for an independent commission looking today?

      • “M”

        THIS.

        SOON.

        PLEASE.

  • memzilla Ω

    BREAKING: Sean Spicer Accepts New Position As United Airlines PR Head

    • jaspersdad

      Chemtrailzzz…..

    • Offers all passengers kicked off flights complementary Pepsis

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Podium beatdown libel!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Lefty Frizzell

    To look at it from Spicer’s POV, the key word here is “innocent”. He’s saying the Jews were not innocent.

    • Sheesko

      And were not “their own people.” Supposedly the Poles, French, Czechoslovakian queers and gypsies, random intellectual Hungarians, and suchlike just had it coming. “Holocaust centers.” *sigh*

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I just figured out why Spicey is using the term “holocaust centers.”

        The Trump admin has some yooooooge plans for concentration camps, but hasn’t had a chance to trademark the term yet.

        Well, when people no longer want stay at your hotels, you gotta use the buildings for something.

        • FlownΩver

          Urban FEMA camps, probably.

  • Crank Tango

    At least Hitler didn’t kill any innocent people, is that it spicey?
    https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6ZsWK3ob82UkDWve/giphy.gif

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      OMG, is that a “Mr. Mom” gif???? You’re my hero!

  • Michael Smith

    On Facebook, Trumpists are like “Okay, what he said was dumb but the media is taking it out of context.”

    What?? How? In what context does something untrue become true?

    • Thiazin Red

      Yeah no, we all saw the context. Spicer is the one who brought up Hitler and said dumb shit stuff. Hes the one who kept talking. There is no other context.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I watched it live. I saw the context the first time he said it and I saw the context when a reporter tried to give him a chance to back-peddle the second time he said it. Sure, CNN sucks, but it’s not their fault that Sean Spicer is a dumbfuck possible holocaust denier.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Context: Spicey is a clumsy gibbering baboon. And that only get’s him out of Holocaust denial jail. He’s still an eegit.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Cut him some slack! Spicer has his entire head up his ass, and can still jam both feet into his mouth! All at the same time!
      What do you expect, that when he tries some backpedal tapdancing, that his triple-explanatio-clarification WON’T come out garbled??

      Sheesh, people! YOU try sucking Donald’s babydick all night long, and then answering fake news press questions!! I BET YOU CAN’T!!!1

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      More to the point, in what context is such a comparison appropriate?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Like I’ve said several times – they’ve seen the “context” explanation used successfully to make a bad quote less bad, but they don’t understand it, so they just apply it to any quote they wish was less bad.

      That’s how dumb they are.

      • Michael Smith

        Yes. Yes. That’s exactly what it is lol

      • Yes, they think it’s a rhetorical device which can be pulled out to make an assertion more persuasive. They also might add “Where’s your evidence for your claim?” because liberally biased (of course) scientists often use that one.

        Such as:
        “Oh yeah? Where’s your evidence that the world is really round?”
        [stunned silence]

        They’re like four year-olds playing house. They’re imitating what they see in a cute and obviously clueless way. Play-acting by imitation is nature’s way of teaching young animals how to eventually be grown up animals, but in Spicer’s case nature has gone horribly wrong.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I tried to make a joke……but he makes me want to vomit.

  • dslindc

    A member of the pool watching this happen live:

    https://twitter.com/thecultureofme/status/851877801145896961

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Caught between disbelief, amusement and despair. A feeling we’ve all come to know far too well.

    • Zonath

      The lady directly behind her seems to be looking around for the hidden camera and/or Ashton Kutcher.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Isn’t she the one who Spicer tried to get to introduce him to the Black Congressional Caucus?

        • Ralph Gauer

          yes.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          April Ryan. Also the one Omarosa said the WH was keeping a dossier on.

          • FlownΩver

            What kind of gas do they have in mind for April?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Some form of Agent Orange.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Fucking April. She needs to keep her head still.

    • Vecchioivan

      Th’ fuc de say?

    • Thiazin Red

      The looking around, I can imagine doing that too because you would want to make sure you really heard that. Because no one could possibly have said something so stupid, so you want to make sure you didn’t hallucinate it.

    • Crank Tango
    • Zonath

      That moment when you finally realize that a moron is in charge of the nuclear arsenal.

    • Marceline

      I love the way April Ryan is looking around as if to say “Are we all seeing the same thing or am I having a stroke?”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think she was praying for a few seconds there.

      • HogeyeGrex

        The internal “WTHMF” was nearly audible.

      • CeeQ

        So true. April must have been like oh Spicey. You need Jesus.

    • The Wanderer

      There’s a lot of rather shocked side-eye going on.

      • HogeyeGrex

        I think her eyes did at least one full lap around her head there to get “side” enough.

    • Ralph Gauer

      Thank you Ashley Parker. And April Ryan. And, really, Sean himself for this Passover miracle.

    • not_vh

      how to steal this gif?

    • not_vh

      totes full of wtf

  • Vecchioivan

    Bagdad Sean strikes again.

  • canes_pugnaces

    I was just going to head out to Home Depot and the Holocaust center, you know pick up a few things. Problem I don’t know where it is. So I looked; there are few of them. Mostly in Poland. That’s far, but worth it, I mean if you want to pick up some sarin and holocaust.

    FUCK these holocaust denying assholes. Fuck them.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I usually think I’m pretty jaded about the stupid, evil shit that comes out of these peoples’ mouths, but when he got to unlike Hitler this guy’s killing innocent people, jhca.

    And what’s even more horrifying is that this guy is a beltway insider, and nothing about his day to day life has given him any reason to believe that anyone would be offended.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    And with that, Melissa McCarthy said, “Fuck this. I’m out.”

  • Reximus
    • Crank Tango

      I guess it’s enough to make anyone break character for a minute.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Kinda surprised Alex is playing it this way. More expected him to make excuses, “Everyone’s been tongue tied before…we all make mistakes..Those liburals so intolerant….”

    • The Wanderer

      He got “historically ignorant” dead right. Or, in the original, Das ist einmal in der Geschichte.
      Applied to the entire administration.

    • Michael Smith

      Hahahahah wow that’s gotta sting

    • “M”

      How much do you bet AJ is just mad Shouty Spice stepped on his line …?

  • JD Mulvey

    “I will hire the best people…”

    • FlownΩver

      OK, we’ll wait.

    • Wee Mousie

      But first I have to hire and reluctantly fire every crackpot, asshat, rat-fucker and evil sonuvabitch in the Republican Big Top.

  • ChancellorKnuckles

    To be fair, I think it’s safe to assume most Trump voters (and administration members) don’t really consider Jews to be people…

    • The Wanderer

      Them what think that may be right.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Or at least not American people, the only kind that count.

  • Marceline
  • TJ Barke

    Only the best people.

    • BadKitty904

      So much bestness.

      • Sister the Resister

        makes ya wonder what would be happening if he hadn’t chosen the bestest…

  • C4TWOMAN

    Holocaust faux pas or no, the fact is Spicey is a terrible public speaker. I saw that in the last press conference he was 40 mins late to. He’s terrible. The only thing he’s sorta good at is teflon support of Trump, much like Kellyscam. Otherwise not only is he bad, but he doesn’t look like he enjoys it.
    I forget how he got this gig….

    • Blackest Noobs

      he was much better mute…like when he did the Easter Bunny gig.
      he was really good at that.

      • C4TWOMAN

        yeah, he should do more of those mute things….

        • Wee Mousie

          Enough of this PC horsepucky, Stop calling Sean mute and tell it like he is.— DUMB!

          If dumbth was water, Spicer would own the Pacific.

  • Blackest Noobs

    i’ve gased Jews before but i think it more because of the brisket and the chemical agents in my lower lower intestine; i might be considered as bad as Hitler or Assad if the gas was deadly. But they certainly do not appreciate it. im still surprised i still get invited to Seder.

    deadly smelling sure, but it doesn’t cause fatalities.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah I gas a jew on a daily basis, this morning at least she gave partial credit to the dog.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it has nothing on kitten farts. and those CAN kill.

        • maxneanderthal

          Oh my, yes…

      • maxneanderthal

        Total ditto, but blaming it on the cats never seems to work..

        • FlownΩver

          A dog will display a guilty look. A cat pins the blame on you no matter what happened.

        • Wee Mousie

          That’s because if you blame it on the cat, the cat will crap in your bedrooom slipper.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      If you didn’t do it from an airplane, it doesn’t count, anyway. Obviously.

  • DainBramage

    “Holocaust Centers” is just a term Spicey picked up from talking to President Bannon about future plans, allegedly.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      The gift shops at the Holocaust Centers are amazing. Just tremendous.

      • Yr. Gma

        I hear Ivanka designed the uniforms.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          With help from Yooooge-o Boss.

  • mrFawkes

    Someone needs to inform Spicer that Zyklon B was not used for aromatherapy.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Well, one could say it removed all your stress…permanently.

    • Anna Rompage

      No kidding, that a dessert topping, or floor wax…

      • willi0000000

        yes.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
    • jowgajen

      So, if they nuke LA can I rely on you Wonkers to avenge me?

      • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

        Not me, I’m in San Diego. Sorry.

      • marxalot

        Sorry, Vegas will go with you.

      • They can’t get LA.

        Yet.

        • Yr. Gma

          Pearl Harbor Redux

      • Doug Langley

        Oh yeah, I keep a spare Iron Man suit in the closet for such contingencies.

      • HogeyeGrex

        SF, yo. If we don’t get targeted first, we’ll just be gently glowing. So, not much good for the avenging, outside of some glowy hugs. If we do get targeted first, at least Bill O’Reilly will be okay with it.

  • Michael Smith

    My friend at work tried to cut him some slack and was like “Look, they couldn’t pay me enough to do Spicey’s job and get up there every day to defend Trump,” but I don’t think that applies this time.

    He brought it up!! He didn’t have to talk about Hitler! He could have just said “Yeah Assad did the Gassing, so we did the Bombing.” He did not have to start waxing incoherent about Adolph Hitler.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, in counterpoint to your friend, Spicer appears to believe he’s being adequately compensated. Maybe he’s not as offended?

    • C4TWOMAN

      No, but for the intellectually barren, comparing bugaboo of the day X with HITLER is considered an easy PR crowd pleaser. Bush did it all the time. It would have worked too(for their base) if Spicey had kept things simple and not tried to elaborate.

      • Michael Smith

        Right, there’s often a running contest as to who is the biggest Hitler in the world today.

    • Christopher Story

      “Waxing incoherent” I love that!

      • Wee Mousie

        Well, you can’t claim that Sean’s sanity was waning, as sanity wasn’t one one of Spicer’s pre-existing conditions.

  • BadKitty904

    Well, you have to give Sphincter credit for consistently being an incompetent fuckwit…

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Don’t forget what Ralph Waldo Emerson said about consistency, hobgoblins and little minds.

      • BadKitty904

        Ralph shoulda gotten a loada THIS bozo…

        • FlownΩver

          And the little mind he works for.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I don’t think that Spicer is actually an anti-semitic loon who believes the Holocaust was OK-ish.

    I just think it’s so fucking horrifying that he would rather portray that than admit he was wrong that we should punish him by playing along.

    • Sister the Resister

      No doubt, as well, that he is not solely in charge of his clarifications, and that his talking points are shaped by the administration staff and/or Trump.

  • BadKitty904

    You’d think someone with the national nickname of “Sphincter” would leave any comments on “gas” alone…

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Alas, this kind of bullshit is not new. Shortly after 9/11, Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald wrote an OpEd piece in which he said that Americans “…don’t willfully rain carnage upon civilians.” I wrote to him and asked if he had ever heard of Hiroshima, did he know about Wounded Knee, had he seen photographs of post-war Dresden? He never answered me.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      A Torch to the Enemy and Hiroshima should be required reading for all high school students.

      • The Wanderer

        I read Hiroshima as a much younger Peripatetic. It was horrifying.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          The other is about the firebombing of Japan, including Operation Meetinghouse,

          • The Wanderer

            Interestingly, the firebombing of Tokyo left parts of the city intact, so after the surrender MacArthur was able to move with little trouble (Dower, Embracing Defeat).

    • Blackest Noobs

      ha! American are the epitome of raining carnage.

      compared to other military forces, you KNOW damn sure when the Americans are attacking.

    • maxneanderthal

      In slight (very slight) mitigation, Dresden was probably more the responsibility of “Bomber” Harris of the RAF. He’d perfected the art of “city killing” by that stage of the war, and in most German towns by then was only “making the rubble bounce” with further raids..Dresden, sadly for that place, was relatively untouched..

  • Jesus, these people.

    They can’t even pull off a distraction about the one thing without fucking it up and causing another thing that will require an even bigger distraction.

    And so it goes.

    • FlownΩver

      Multidimensional checkers.

      • Wee Mousie

        More like knocking over multidimensional dominoes.

        If I had meant burglarizing pizza joints, I would have written “knocking over multidimensional domino’s.”

  • Man, the Trump / Russia investigation seems like ancient history this week.

    Weird.

  • JMP

    It’s so shocking that Trump continues to have so many fans among the neo-Nazis. How does that keep happening?

    • BadKitty904

      Like attracts like?

      • JMP

        Here, it does seem like Spicer is such an idiot it seems he just kind of stumbled into Holocaust denialism by accident, but this administration keeps brushing against it so often it almost seems like a bit of a pattern here.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s not a nazi! He’s just really appealing to people who self identify as nazis…

      • FlownΩver

        He only plays one on teevee.

        • Wee Mousie

          Spicer doesn’t actually believe in that many of the Nazi’s methods. After all, a shower makes a damn awkward delivery system. Fighter jets, bombers, bombs, missiles and drones are much more efficient, can by charged off against the taxpayer, and building more means you get to pay off the people who helped get you elected.

    • Wee Mousie

      Neo-Nazis are not merely low information voters, Neo-Nazis are self-deluding assholes.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    You know, when something is atrocious, it’s not really necessary to draw comparisons between that atrocity and any other atrocity. If it’s fucking horrible, it’s fucking horrible.

    • BadKitty904

      THANK. YOU.

    • JMP

      Sure, American slavery was horrible, but the Holocaust was arguably worse and so that let’s us off the hook!

      • jowgajen

        Also too American genocide of indigenous peoples is never even considered, but should be.

        • coozledad

          Hitler considered it. He used it as a textbook.

          • Pamelarsmith

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            !sq285c:
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          • To this day, Israel justifies what it does to the Palestinians on the grounds that it’s not as bad as the Belgian Congo, the genocide of the Tasmanian Aborigines, etc.

    • mt2099

      Atrocities are atrocious.

  • puredog

    As someone helpfully pointed out on another thread, the Holocaust Center is right across the Food Court from the Abortionplex.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Is that where the Death Panels are?

      • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

        They’re on the lower level.

      • CripesAmighty

        Zyklon B in bulk.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Great matzoh ball soup at that food court.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Yeah but the chicken is extra. That’s how they get you.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    He could have stated – accurately – that the Nazis did not use chemical munitions in combat – oddly enough because Hitler’s own experience of being gassed in WWI apparently had turned him against their use. But so what? To try to argue that Assad is somehow more evil than Hitler is always going to be a fucking non-starter as an argument anyway. This guy is so completely out of his depth that I almost feel sorry for him.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Exactly. And it’s like we are a society of people who remember one single horrific event by the name of one man and use it as a comparison for everything that bothers us.

    • jowgajen

      There is no “more evil than Hitler”. You might get equally evil (Stalin, say) but exceeding is just hyperbole.

    • beingreleased

      David Simon caused himself trouble yesterday on twitter by trying to make that point. I’m not sure what he was trying to say, for basically the reasons you state.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Emphasis on “almost”. I, on the other hand, enjoy seeing him step on his own dick. He made this unholy alliance for Dog knows what reason – fame? Money? Thirst for power? He deserves to lie down in that grave he’s digging himself and have a good, long, think. And I will shovel a ton of votes on top of him.

  • Doug Langley

    On the upside, he weaseled his way out of answering the original question.

    • Blackest Noobs

      weaseling is how this administration rolls.

      OT: you find any work Doug?

      • Doug Langley

        No.

        • Blackest Noobs

          keep trying, man.
          it’s bound to happen for you…well we hope so.

        • Crystalclear12

          There might be a press secretary position opening up.
          No soul required.

          • Doug Langley

            I’ll take it. Seriously.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            I’ll hold your soul for the duration … no charge.

    • beingreleased

      Weaseling out of things is what separates man from the animals. Except the weasel.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, those weasels are pretty weasely. But they’re very straightforward about it.

  • redarmyzombie

    Fuck you, Dippin’ Dots. This fucking shit is why we can’t have nice things…

    • Thiazin Red

      To be fair, dippin dots is some seriously gross stuff. If its really the ice cream of the future then thats just proof that humanity doesn’t deserve to survive.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Do I get a pass on the possible upcoming and deserved annihilation because I don’t know what dippin dots is? And please don’t tell me!

        • Pisto75666

          Me too also! (No idea what it is either. Though I’m kind of curious)

        • Lambsendbeds

          It’s this truly gross “ice cream” that somehow is formed into little hard sphericals with liquid nitrogen and space age technology. You pour it into cups and and eat it with a spoon. I have no idea why anyone thought this was something the world needed.

  • PixieThis

    Serious question – is spicer a closet holocaust denier?

    • jesterpunk

      I dont think he is in the closet…

    • Thiazin Red

      In this administration I would not be totally surprised.

    • marxalot

      I think the best answer to that came from the twitters: “He truly doesn’t know (ignorance) but doesn’t think he has to know (racism).”

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      It has been more or less established that everyone else in the administration is.

    • clubseal

      It seems possible he’s just really, really dumb. Not that the two things are mutually exclusive.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I think someone below nailed it. Lefty, I think. He misspoke but just absolutely refuses to admit he’s wrong, even if it makes him look like an asshole.

  • marxalot

    Is there a verb, or even a noun, in that first “clarification?” He’s doing the looping thing, like the Donald, but there’s no escape on the loop and no real indication of what unarticulated concept he’s circling.

    • Nockular cavity

      When you get into a loop like that you just have to unplug it and plug it back in again.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Gotta hand it to him. He really knows how to divert attention away from the FBI investigation.

    • boyblue123

      Trump is probably pissed at Spicer for taking the last remaining attention that was left from his Tomahawk bombgasim

  • Vecchioivan

    Am I missing something or is Sean Spicer exactly the sort of Republican that smart Republicans try to keep out of sight?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He’s exactly the sort of Republican that school newspapers call “Sphincter.”

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      “Smart Republicans?”

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I think he’s in a time warp from thirty years ago.

        • Pisto75666

          “Let’s do the time warp agaaaaain!!”

      • snark-lurker

        relatively speaking

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Def not talking about my Republican relatives.

  • maxneanderthal

    Lost in the major part of this is the minor part- Hitler ONLY refrained from using nerve gas agents on the Allies by pure fluke- they were so easy to make that he couldn’t believe that the allies didn’t have them as well, and would use them right back. Don’t give the little mustachioed turd any credit there, Mr Spicy McSpicebreath…

    • Actually the British did have significant stocks of chemical weapons during WWII

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Overstock from WW1

      • The Wanderer

        Churchill was prepared to use them if the Germans actually landed in force.

        • TJ Barke

          He was also partial to the idea of using them on indigenous people around the world.

          • The Wanderer

            Yep. Northern Iraq, 1920-21.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        All the combatants did. An American ammunition ship, the SS John Harvey, carrying mustard gas bombs was hit by a German air attack off the port of Bari in December 1943. The cargo of mustard was dispersed when the ship exploded, causing hundreds of military and an unknown number of civilian casualties. The situation was made worse by the fact that the extreme secrecy surrounding the cargo meant that many casualties did not receive proper treatment for their injuries.

        http://www.historynet.com/world-war-ii-german-raid-on-bari.htm

    • Yr. Gma

      British people (including babies) were each issued a gas mask they carried around with them in a little box on a string during WWII.

      • maxneanderthal

        Yup, I used to play with my grandmothers, which was still hung up in it’s bag in the wash-house, until the perished rubber fell to bits..

        • Doug Langley

          “Are you my Mom-mee?”

          • maxneanderthal

            Choking on dead spiders and 35 years of dust kind of spoilt the effect..

          • Shanzgood

            Holy shit that was terrifying!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      My understanding is that Hitler fought the western allies by the rules (more or less) because they were fellow Aryans or near-Aryans. But on the eastern front, he threw out the Geneva Convention. So when the Russians overran eastern Germany and Berlin, the payback was pretty horrifying.

      • maxneanderthal

        I was in Berlin a year ago, and whilst wandering down a quiet city centre street, noticed that every single brick in what looked like the back wall of what may have been a theatre/movie house, had a bullet or shrapnel scar in it. Repeat- Every. Single. One, This is what you get when tens of thousands of men go beserk with heavy automatic weapons, and tanks with 6 inch guns, in a modern 20th century city..

  • jesuswasablack

    Holocaust Centers aint so bad look we even have one in St. Clair Shores! Be careful Sean don’t fuck with the Jooooooooos!
    https://img.grouponcdn.com/deal/3w6mA9JvXyKQ2RK6hB6j/j4-2048×1228/v1/t440x300.jpg

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    This isn’t the first time they’ve (Republicans, Nazis, whatever) used this tactic (saying something too broad and then going back several times, making it more and more specific and yet it’s still wrong) although this is the first time I remember them doing it in defense of such a disgusting comment. I need to go wash my skin with steel wool.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Holocaust Centers sound like way more fun than concentration camps. Maybe Spicy could play up the Exclusive Jewish Heritage Spas (with group showers!) next presser.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And they’re conveniently adjacent to the Abortiplex!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And concentration camps sound like way more fun than death camps.

      • FlownΩver

        AHCA redux to include concentration panels.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Jason Chaffetz: “we will not ignore this heinous deed. Tomorrow I will begin 5 investigations into Crooked Hillary’s Typogate. This is not going away, folks!”

  • Nockular cavity

    Video putting all these events together:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w6L93kD3xw

    • The Wanderer

      A true metaphor for this regime.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      Oh, Jesus. I mean, Oy, Jesus. I mean oh never mind.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    All these denials and clarifications about how terrible the Holocaust was are further evidence that Steve Bannon has been pushed aside.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Wait wut? I thought Bannon was a denier as well. If he was gone, wouldn’t the message be more tempered?

  • Damn Melissa McCarthy isn’t hosting SNL until the week after next

  • Iron Monkey

    I can’t understand how someone got a job dealing with the press and not know that you never, EVER compare anything to the Holocaust. Maybe he is some kind of space alien imposter sent here to make us all more stupid.

    • snark-lurker

      well yuh start with a(nother)* stolen election…

      *shrub 2000

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      This administration is worse than the Holocaust, isn’t it?

  • Edith Prickly
  • HogeyeGrex

    So, open thread. There’s a contractor and his guy at my house today. The landlord sent them to replace a door. Dude was listening to the radio. Whatever station it was was playing pretty much the exact same playlist from the mid 80s as the station my old sheetrock boss would have on when I was doing construction. In the mid 80s. Weird and circular.

    • therblig

      did your old boss charge people fairly, or did he gypsum?

      • Doug Langley

        Don’t take bosses’ greed for granite.

      • HogeyeGrex

        I can’t tape any more of these puns.

        • Doug Langley

          Just chalk it up to low pun tolerance.

          • FlownΩver

            The guy at the next table saw nothing going on in these [not allowed] comments.

    • Shanzgood

      The 80s music is A Thing right now, I guess. My 15yo daughter plays it constantly, like she just discovered it or something. I can make her stop by singing along with it from the other room.

      • BrianW

        A few years ago the youngest daughter was telling me about a great new song called “Land Down Under.” Boy was she surprised (and disgusted) when I not only knew the song, but had it as my ringtone.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I was in Reno 2 years ago and the cabbie was listening to KDOT. Runnin’ With the Devil came on. My brain switched over to 1999 Reno mode and I thought, “Is it already a quarter to 11?”

      It was. 15 years later and The Dot still played the same song at the same time of day.

    • maxneanderthal

      The vinyl freaks at my office cannot believe the LP’s I’ve got stashed in the attic. A glazed look comes over them when I tell them what my brother in laws got in his. (Complete Zappa collection anyone?)

      • DrBigHead

        I recently, and proudly, introduced my son to the cost and inconvenience of vinyl.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • Cliff Hendroval

      I was the only customer in a hipster joint staffed with 24-year-olds the other night, and they had a turntable which they were using to play Eric Clapton (the one with “Blues Power”) and Against The Wind by Bob Seger.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Still a step up from the Phil Collins One More Night type fare coming out of dude’s squawk box.

  • CripesAmighty

    This is why ‘Murka is doomed. Under a parliamentary system, this lot would be on a plane to Siberia by now.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    All I know is this website is worse than if literally Hitler literally went big game hunting with Stalin next to a Holocaust Center while abortions were killing millions of precious babies on a United Airlines flight to Bowling Green the day after the massacre!

    • Hemp Dogbane

      You left out Sweden.

      • redarmyzombie

        also, 9/11.

        • Iron Monkey

          Knock, knock

          Who’s there?

          9/11

          9/11 who?
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          You said you would never forget

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It’s too soon.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      People who resort to hyperbole are worse than Hitler.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Only the Sith speak in absolutes.

        • Doug Langley

          Absolutely!

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          Relatively speaking.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Free Hitler train rides! Line up here! You must be this tall. (Not very tall).

  • ariel_gee_398

    Poor Sean. He’s always going for Nazi text when the administration was hoping for Nazi subtext.

  • Me The People

    It’s like a really sick version of Veep.

  • Crystalclear12

    On PASSOVER!!
    Wow
    Damn
    *walks away shaking head*

    • The Wanderer

      Timing’s everything.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        You can’t teach that.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    You should just stick to the classics and say “worse than liver”.

    • The Wanderer

      Aw no you didn’t! I love beef liver, sauteed in bacon fat and served with bacon and onions.

  • Iron Monkey

    Spicer may have heard that the Jews start things at sundown so they would all be too busy Pesaching to notice his little boo-boo.

    • jesterpunk

      He could have talked to President Jared first.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      This too shall passover.

      • FlownΩver

        Do I detect atone of cynicism in your words?

  • Shibusa

    Did everybody on Trump’s team go to Trump University?

    • Thiazin Red

      There was the one guy who went to sizzler university.

      • Iron Monkey

        Don’t forget the Hamburger U. grads in strategic planning.

    • Iron Monkey

      And they were all summa cum LOUD.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Hooters Community College

    • Proud Liberal

      Nah, education isn’t on their resumes.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Yep. The Bovine University grads got job offers, but they all turned up their noses. Even Ralph Wiggum.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Except for the Secretary of State, who attended Whatsamatta U. and majored in Business with Russians.

  • Apple Scruff

    Sean Spicer and his clarifications is like Mike in ‘Swingers’ calling up that girl from the bar and leaving a million messages. At some point, you’re screaming at the TV in second-hand embarrassment, JUST STOP!!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/74708980f27e23502f697faa886f65ca773b38ed3de4cea7f4aacca00b1700b9.jpg

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Fremdscham

  • Iron Monkey

    Spicer is really weird. I wouldn’t hire him to clean out a cat box.

  • Proud Liberal

    What the flying fuck is wrong with these people?

    • Pisto75666

      You want an alpabetized list or should we go itemized?

      • DainBramage

        The list would be so large as to create a singularity.

        • Pisto75666

          Fair enough but even so…..I have lots of spare time. Just ask!

      • Zonath

        With a list this big, you’d probably be best off going with a hierarchical classification.

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      I think we know already.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      They believe in what got them elected – that research, preparation and truth are for losers and liberals.

    • Shoto

      Wait, I know this one. Um…Everything?

  • snark-lurker

    well when yer smartz is only skin-deep…

    • Lambsendbeds

      His human skin is too thin to contain smartz. His smartz were in his flop sweat, which soaked into his ill fitting suit.

  • Shoto
  • boyblue123

    This is part of the Drumpf agenda, not just a gaffe by Spicer

    Sebastian Gorka Made Nazi-Linked Vitezi Rend ‘Proud’ by Wearing Its Medal

    BUDAPEST, Hungary — A group with alleged historical links to Nazi Germany has told NBC News it was “proud” when President Donald Trump’s deputy assistant wore its medal.

    Controversy has swirled around Sebastian Gorka, one of Trump’s top counterterrorism advisers, ever since he attended the president’s Jan. 20 Inaugural Ball wearing the honorary medal of Hungarian nationalist organization Vitezi Rend.

    Gorka is a top adviser to Drumpf
    Also Bannon is still a top adviser even though hes not on the NSC any longer.

  • Pisto75666

    The facial expressions on the lady behind the reporter are better than the entire video. Just sayin’.

    • Proud Liberal

      OMG. You’re so right! LOL!

      • Pisto75666

        I’d like to think I give a good WTF face but damn, that is Olympics gold medal worthy right there.

        • Proud Liberal

          She was astonished! It was hilarious to watch. The more Spicey speaks, the bigger the hole he digs.

          • Pisto75666

            That should be part of the next Spicey SNL skit. With Melissa McCarthy on that scooter thing, and the more she speaks a hole develops. Then at the end it’s just her peeking barely above the speaking podium

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Side-Eye of Death”

      • The Wanderer

        It was weaponized side-eye.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “Are you hearing the same thing I’m hearing? Did he really just say that?”

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, I watched it without sound.

  • Crystalclear12

    Seriously, what does his wife say to him when he comes home?
    Better luck next time?
    I still love you?
    Stay the fuck away from me?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Why do you have that orange ring around your mouth? And why do you smell of cheap tanning oil and old man pee?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

    IN 4 DAYS…

    We’re marching on Washington, D.C. and around the country to ask Donald Trump:

    WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

    We need a president who works for all Americans, and a tax system that does, too. Release your tax returns and commit to a fair tax system for the American people.

    https://taxmarch.org/

    • Randy Riddle

      “What are you hiding?”

      What _isn’t_ Trump hiding????

  • marxalot

    Of course, by saying that Hitler never used gas/chemical weapons on his “own people” (and not actually retracting that, for all his “clarification”), Spicer is simply reiterating the line that Jews were not German volk, and therefore it doesn’t count even if the Nazis did kill them.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Jesus, it’s like he’s gone full Jim Carrey.

    https://s.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/midas/30ec70b339ad25b52c3ae00a5ba4dc06/205001461/liar+liar+pen+movie.jpg

    “Well, that’s because you’ve got big Hitlers. I mean your jews are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze ’em. Mama!”

  • MynameisBlarney
  • george gonzalez

    Can’t even. So wrong in so many ways. I guess the takeaway is that it’s worse if you bring the gas to the innocents, instead of the other way around. And it’s perfectly fine, as the USA did, to radiate them to death. The things we learn.

  • Thiazin Red

    I was talking to someone about Disney movies last night, and I had this idea that I thought could be fun, a D&D campaign based on the princesses.

    Aurora is the ranger. Based on the competence level of the fairies, shes been keeping them alive in the woods since she was a toddler. She also has animal companions.
    Cinderella is a warlock. She gets her power from a pact with a fey creature.
    Elsa is a sorcerer. Her powers are innate and can potentially get out of control.
    Mulan is the fighter. Seems obvious.
    Belle is the wizard. Her power comes from a love of books and studying.
    Jasmine is the rogue. Shes good at escaping, acrobatics and quick thinking.
    Ariel is the bard. Her voice is her most powerful weapon.
    Rapunzel is the druid. She gets her magic from nature.

    I haven’t seen all the movies, and there is still monk and barbarian. Belle could also work as an artificer which is a new class like a magical mechanic. Rapunzel might also be fun as a barbarian, raised away from society and can be fierce despite her general sweetness.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      If not for her archery skills, Merida would probably fit the barbarian class (impetuous, not interested in the “cultured” things, proficient in weapons but not as “polished”). I would swap Rapunzel out for Snow White, and move Rapunzel to the monk class based on her dexterity, balance, speed and skill with unarmed and improvised weapon combat.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Shibusa

    Apropos of nothing but a couple of years ago, I read a book called ‘Hanns and Rudolf’. Hanns, who was Jewish, hunted down the Auschwitz Kommandant, Rudolf Höss. Höss was instrumental in figuring out how to murder large numbers of humans using Zyklon B in the gas chambers. The Höss portions of the book really do show you Arendt’s ‘banality of evil’… Spicer is a fool.

  • Flashman

    On the other hand, Hitler did fire V-1 cruise missles from offshore and it temporarily boosted his ratings at home.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Anna Rompage

    Welcome to the Holocaust Center, I’m Sean and I will be your activities director during your stay here.

    Let me point out the main features of our beloved center. There are a number of gourmet food establishments in hall 3, the theater is in hall 2, you’ll find fine merchandise being sold in hall #5, and the showers are in that huge building with the ventilation stacks coming out from the top…

    • The Wanderer

      Nice summer camps outfitted with the most modern oven and shower facilities.

      • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

        Group exercise activities and a weight reducing diet. Innovative medical treatments are available.

  • jesterpunk
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “I have NO dignity!!!”

    • Sydney

      Well, that’s creepy.

    • Looks gassed to me.

  • Proud Liberal

    OT, but funny as hell…

    “The Trump White House Even Managed to Screw Up the Annual Easter Party
    The ineptitude of this administration stretches from top to bottom.”

    http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/trump-white-house-even-managed-screw-annual-easter-party

  • Fartknocker

    From this point forward anytime I see the Wonkette GIF of guy with a trucker hat with the cartoon bubble that says “Dear Shit-Fer-Brains,” I’m going to call him Shawn.

    • The Wanderer

      DOO EET. It’s a Moral Imperative!

  • Randy Riddle

    Last night, I started reading “Blitzed: Drugs in Nazi Germany” by Norman Ohler, the recent book that looks in detail at how key figures in the Reich – and their followers – were hyped up on meth and other drugs.

    Just curious, but has anyone checked for a meth lab in the White House basement?

    • The Wanderer

      You usually find meth labs by the stink – or after they’ve exploded.

      • Randy Riddle

        I think one just did explode at the press conference…

  • Jgb979

    I never imagined shaudenfrade was such a close cousin to horrified.

    I’ve been feeling nothing but both since January.

    “Holocaust centers!” I think someone has just solved what to do with all of those dying malls!!!

    • Proud Liberal

      Shh, don’t give them any ideas.

      • Marceline

        They’ve already got the idea. They just call them private prisons.

        • Proud Liberal

          True that.

    • Sydney

      lol

    • mardam422

      I neeed aaaaaaaa Jooooooooooo!!!!!

    • Flashman

      I hear the shuffleboard games were murder.

  • Chadwells

    OT: a lot of stupid going around today. Where to start with this headline. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0a9e4e66da196429200829bb2de9700f3b5a04f85aab7481bf92270fc06a8fe9.jpg

    • Lambsendbeds

      Sorry to be a oldz and out of touch, but who the hell is Clay Adler? No matter who he is, my condolences to his friends and family. It’s always very sad when someone can’t live with his/her pain and takes that ultimate step.

      • Chadwells

        I’m an old too. No idea. Sad nonetheless. But that headline….ugh.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Cue inappropriate laughter.

    • The Wanderer

      (laughs inappropriately, and keeps right the fuck on laughing at the sentence construction)

    • I thought it said “Clay Aiken”.

      Carry on.

    • mardam422

      What do you expect? All the good headline writers are working on the daily Trump asininity. Is that a word? It should be.

  • WotsAllThisThen
  • Flashman

    Sit back and enjoy the shoah, Sean.

  • anon_the_great

    Never, ever, ever should a Real American advocate for the firing of Sean Spicer. If we are to have fascism we want the incompetent kind.

    • cmd resistor

      True, what if he were actually talented at passing on disinformation and people fell for it.

    • Crystalclear12

      Valid

    • mardam422

      Honest to Dog. I mean I can’t even watch TV anymore. Watching the Trump Administration puts every Hollywood writer to shame. You couldn’t write this shit and have anyone believe any of it.

  • whitroth

    Right. In an old Fabulous Furry Freak Bros. comic, someone (Phineas?) invents a drug that makes your hair fall out, and lowers your IQ by 50 points. I think they’re mainlining it in the White House….

    • Nick Scroggs

      You sure it was the Freak Brothers? I remember a comic where Phineas creates a testosterone-laced weed strain, but not that.

      • Shanzgood

        Holy crap! Don’t let baconz know about that or he’ll lace all my food with it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    At some point you have to think he might be doing this shit on purpose, to rodeo-clown our attention away from Trump.

    • boyblue123

      I think the regime does it to please their Pepe crowd

    • Sister the Resister

      I mentioned this downthread, but I don’t think he comes up with these statements, his lingo, or his so-called clarifications on his own.

  • Vecchioivan

    I think I finally figured out who Spicer reminds me of ,,,,, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogberry

  • Shibusa
  • Jennifer R

    Because this is the Open Thread, and I am a queer born in NC and this pisses me right the fuck off I will repost it. http://wncn.com/2017/04/11/nc-bill-looks-to-ban-gay-marriage/

    • The Wanderer

      And, of course. Bunch of right bastards.

    • Proud Liberal

      One more lawsuit for the ACLU; however, I think the Governor will veto any bill like that.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They don’t give up? Sooner or later you’d think running into a brick wall full-speed without a helmet would lose its appeal…

    • Jgb979

      For real someone needs to lobby the hell out of the NCAA, show them what they agreed to overlook.

      I love NC but until these lunatics get pushed out of office kicking and screaming not a single respectable company needs to do business there.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I’m just surprised the motherfuckers aren’t trying to outlaw marriage between black and white people.

      • The Wanderer

        That’ll be next.

      • Gregory Brown

        Don’t even joke about that. You’ll give them ideas.

    • Shanzgood

      That’s so ridiculously unconstitutional on so many levels. It’s sex discrimination AND religious discrimination, just to start with.

      • teele

        Doesn’t the Supreme Court decide what’s unconstitutional? Do you really think the Gorsuch court is going to find anything unconstitutional about this NC law? Do you think it’s any coincidence that the law is being proposed within 48 hours of the Tee Party taking over the court for the next 30 years? Just askin’ for a friend!

        • Shanzgood

          Yeah. *sigh*

          I expect a rash of more “fetal personhood” laws to start up again as well.

    • wait! what?

      There’s a little Wiggum in there, too…

      https://youtu.be/LnLLOhhi8aU

    • Gregory Brown

      Fuck those fucking fuckers, I say.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    ♫ They’ve got a lotta, lotta, lotta great ‘lectric chairs
    Uh-huh, at the Holocaust Center… ♫

  • Crystalclear12

    Does anyone know if United has sent him a thank you basket yet?

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Sean Spicer is like a Klein bottle of derp.

    I guess we’ll soon find out if it’s possible for you to shove your head so far up your ass that it comes back as your own grandfather.

    • Gregory Brown

      You are so liked for not only Klein bottle, but for hilljack time travel.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Guy? Guy, it’s your cousin. Marvin Lombardo. You know that new sound you’ve been looking for? Well… here it is!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    he was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Ashad (sic) is doing

    What–are we debating whether Jews are people now? Or if they are legitimate citizens of the nation in which they reside?

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3wuex3KI71ro7f7oo1_500.gif

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Man’s made, what 5? 6? attempts to dig out of this hole and has not only managed to end up deeper he struck a sewer line.

      • Caepan

        “Dig up, stupid!” – Chief Clancy Wiggum

      • AJ Milne

        There’s people you say to ‘right… put down the shovel’…

        Here it’s more shut off the tunnel boring machine.

      • mancityRed6

        even the nazis at the center of the earth are saying, “dude, too far”
        also, yes
        https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QsndGv9zTeo/maxresdefault.jpg

  • Sean was basically saying that Hitler mistreated people like United re-accommodated that stubborn dude. That’s all.

    • mardam422

      All those people were just re-accommodated at the Holocaust Centers. See? What was so bad about that?

    • Gregory Brown

      Exactly! So, if you re-accommodated that guy six million times, it would be just like what Hitler did. Except with gas instead of goons from the Chicago police department.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    was trying to draw a distinction of the tactic of using airplanes to drop chemical weapons on population centers.

    So it would have been A-OK if Assad had shipped them off somewhere out of sight first?

    http://i682.photobucket.com/albums/vv181/knightsofnodd/Gifs/Words/tumblr_lphw3kmXTo1qal1os.gif

  • John Iwaniszek

    That was some sweaty reading.

  • Vecchioivan

    Sean Spicer: Schmuck or putz? Discuss.

  • mancityRed6

    the comments on the hill’s story about this were full of holocaust deniers.
    also, who’s up for a game of pick up sportsball down at the holocaust center?

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      It truly boggles my mind that anyone in the world would deny the Holocaust actually happened. All those photos? That was well before PhotoShop. Not just photos, but actual survivors! People whose families were torn apart and witnessed Hitler’s atrocities first hand. Gawd…I really hate people some days :(

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, but some of them believe the earth is a flat disc that somehow floats in space and is thick enough to drill for oil from somewhere, I guess. and the Jews are responsible for all their ills. I’m sure some believe that the Jews control the lizard people as well.

      • Sister the Resister

        And not that it’s a match to the pain of having survived the camps, but I know many of us have older family members who were pretty scarred up by what they found when they opened the gates. Witnesses, dudes. Witnesses.

        • MeerkatsRMammals

          This too! My great-uncle fought in WWII. If you asked him about his service, he refused to discuss it. Wasn’t until shortly before his death that he finally started telling us some of the horrific things he witnessed. I’m sure many of us have similar stories from family members. That’s another reason these deniers piss me right off.

      • Caepan

        As someone smarter than me once said… the Nazis claimed that they were just following orders, or claimed that they were only sending on reports from the concentration camps. They never claimed that it didn’t happened.

    • BosGrl

      Yeah I lasted about 10 seconds in those comments.

      • mancityRed6

        my go to comment is to be condescendingly apologetic for anyone they know. I only managed it once.
        “I am so sorry for your family.”

  • Sister the Resister

    Oh, my work life…. Day Two of Jackhammering has been going on since 10am! I took the phone home and I’m not going back to work till this evening. Yesterday they were working 15′ diagonally below my workstation, today it’s immediately below. Nothing like a jackhammer going off 9′ away for the concentration.

    In any case, lucky me, ‘cuz I found this all-important email waiting for me. I haven’t had one of these for years! “Please if you are not dead call this number immediately….” cracks me up!

    Desk of International Monetary Fund (IMF)
    Inconjunction with United Nation,Federal Reserved Bank,
    Office of accountant general,US Treasury Department On
    Payment Reconcilation committee Board

    From: Rev Fr. Kenneth Williams
    Head of Remittance Department

    Attention please:

    RE:YOUR PAYMENT NOTIFICATION

    This is to officially inform you that one Mrs. Cynthia Edward,came to my office to let me know that you are DEAD and before your death, you instructed her to come for the claim of your fund which worth the sum of US$10.5 Million,that was long abandoned fund in your name with IMF,UN,BANKS.So here comes the big question….

    (i) Did you authorize Mrs. Cynthia Edward to come for your claim?
    (ii) Are you truly Dead or Alive?

    If (NO) you are hereby advice as a matter of urgency to reconfirm the details of this message within 24/48 hours, hence your FUNDS shall be release to her without any more delay.

    Below is the information provided by Mrs. Cynthia Edward to this bank, are you also the one who ask her to provide this bank account information to us?

    Washington Mutual Bank
    2075 S. Victoria Ave
    Ventura, CA 93003
    800 788-7000
    Acct. Name: Mrs. Cynthia Edward.
    ABA # 322271627
    Account # 1951204345
    Amount: US$10.5 Million.

    Note Mrs. Cynthia Edward suppose/wanted to send the sum of $1,950 for the change of Certificate of Ownership fee but we want to be very sure if you are truely dead or you are the person that instructed Mrs. Cynthia Edward for the claim of your fund.Please if you are still alive, you are kindly advised to send the re-validattion/notarization fee of $95 for Certificate of Ownership for your own good.

    Please if you are not dead call this number immediately. +1 253 2000 637 and speak with the manager Rev Fr. Kenneth Williams

    FIND BELOW INFORMATION FOR THE PAYMENT RECEIVER’S NAME OF RE-VALIDATION/NOTARIZATION CERTIFICATE OF OWNERSHIP

    RECEIVER’S NAME: STEVE .E. TYSON
    ADDRESS: VINELAND,NEW JERSEY USA
    Amount : $95
    MTCN……………………………..
    Sender Name
    Sender Address:
    Scan copy of the WU/Moneygram payment is needed for verification.

    We wait for your urgent response. You need to act very fast, because if this bank wait for your urgent reply Within 72hrs without hearing from you or receive any message from you, you will be consider dead, and your funds will be sent to Mrs. Cynthia Edward. An immediate telephone call will be better on +1 253 2000 637 so that you can speak with the Rev Kenneth Williams or you email me.

    Best Regards,

    Rev Fr. Kenneth Williams
    Head of Remittance Department

    • mancityRed6

      I was so upset I wasn’t getting those kinds of emails, until I went to the junk mail folder on my other hotmail account. Not sure if I’m happy or not, now.

      • Sister the Resister

        Yeah, I guess I do get them in the spam folder from time to time. How this one made it past the filter I’m not sure.

        • Jukesgrrl

          It was from a “reverend”?

          • mancityRed6

            Reverend Father. He’s a priest and a pastor all rolled into one, or that’s what you can call priests, too I guess.

    • Sister the Resister

      I promise to donate the bulk of my fortune to yer Wonkette, of course

      • mancityRed6

        free ink for everyone!

    • wait! what?

      …well, it is good advise..

    • TJ Barke

      Dafuq?

    • Vecchioivan

      Why don’t you answer that you’re dead and therefore can’t reply?

    • Shoto

      Seems legit.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    It’s Trump’s alternative reality & we’re all living in it :( The fact that Spicy said what he said the first time was bad enough. The fact that he came out with 3 other clarifications (certainly NOT apology) is insane!

    • Anna Rompage

      A republican, apologize for offending a good number of people in this country and greater world… NEVER!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Proud Liberal

      The look on her face is priceless!

  • mardam422

    Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons. Except for that gas stuff, but that was different. Hitler gassed people. But they weren’t soldier people, you know, like with those helmets. Sure they had yarmulkes, but that’s different. It’s not really a helmet, like a soldier helmet. And they weren’t really like people people. You know they weren’t Germans. Except for the ones that were. But most weren’t. So what was the question? Stop gawking at me and close your mouth for Gawd’s sake. Wait…who are you anyway?

    • Anna Rompage

      Zyclon B, it’s a floor clean, dessert topping, and pesticide, all wrapped up in one great product!

  • boyblue123
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      We call them Pew Pigs.

    • The Wanderer

      “There’s another dead bishop on the landing, Vicar Sergeant!”
      “Detective Parson, Ma’am. RC, or C of E?”
      “How should I know?”
      “It’s tattooed on the backs of their necks!”

      • wait! what?

        Sassy!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Call the Church Police!

    • Vincent Ricola

      The state of Alabama needs to invest in HBOGO so they can watch Game of Thrones and see how this idea usually turns out.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Don’t give them any ideas!

    • TJ Barke

      What could possibly go wrong?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I never expected a kind of Alabama Inquisition.

    • ariel_gee_398
      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Ye gads! Do you know how many world problems we could solve with enough Strategic Pupper Arrays? That one alone could turn Steve Bannon into Mr. Van Driessen from “Beavis and Butt-head”…

    • boyblue123

      Christian Sharia Law…do what the church says..or else

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Sounds a bit too Crusader-y for my tastes…

    • The Wanderer

      Will they be calling them Sparrows?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Sigh… I’ll go down to the armory and see how we’re doing on wildfire.

    • wait! what?

      I imagine the church will now vote to allow the senate to have “holy men.”

    • Crank Tango

      Just skip right from the first to the second why don’t you.

    • BoziSpicer
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Their very own Mutaween.

    • Crystalclear12

      It’s a southern thing. If you do one good thing you are required to fuck something else up.

  • notaten

    Jesus Fucking Christ these fucking people! Every story today, that has been my first response. I can’t wait to wake up someday and realize that this has has​ all been one of those weird dreams, and none of this is really happening. And no one better tell me any different, not today.

  • Flashman

    To save everyone the motherfucking trouble, here, I’ve prepared a standard, all-purpose Sean Spicer retort to any reporter question. You’re welcome.

    Look, look! There’s absolutely no inconsistency here at all. The president has always made it absolutely clear that he [insert one] supports/abhors [insert] adorable children/Hitler. And I think the statements of [insert names of senior administration douchebags here] were totally consistent. The president does not feel the need to clarify his remarks further. Yes, we will provide examples of [some totally counter-factual nonsense] here in due course. The Vice-President’s commission on voter fraud will be issuing its report…when it issues its report. Now shuddup you people, shuddup!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Also, we’ve always been at war with Eastasia/Breitbart/TacoBell, period!

      • Jamoche

        And every restaurant is Taco Bell!

  • John

    This was the best gift United could have received right now. Hard to believe, but yep, Republicans are even dumber than United!

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    After all, who among us can honestly say they’ve never set fire to some great public building?

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Raises paw slowly… I’ve never set fire to a building…

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        That’s exactly what someone who set fire to a building would say!

        • MeerkatsRMammals

          I can’t work the lighter with these tiny Meerkat paws ;)

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Tsk. Slacker.

      • notaten

        It wasn’t me, I wasn’t even there, you can’t prove it. And plus, it was an accident.

    • Anna Rompage

      IT DOESN’T COUNT IF IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

    • mancityRed6

      define “great”

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I mean, is the third base dugout of the high school softball field really a “great public building?”

  • memzilla Ω

    BREAKING: Manhattan Invaded By Giant Kitteh!!1!!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6223af94b8fe942ec7d95bf614ed4625635907315b2f418a036d6194ba02d04c.jpg
    . (1964 NY World’s Fair diorama)

  • Jukesgrrl

    We must NEVER let Spicer resign. I want him front and center ALWAYS as the embodiment of how fucked up the Trump Administration is. Just let him spew his idiotic “thoughts” all day long so we know where these clowns are coming from. God forbid Trump should have a spokesperson who actually could fool even more people that Trump is not a drooling victim of Alzheimer’s and the puppet of evil-doers like Bannon, Sessions, and Tillerson.

    • Proud Liberal

      They are all a shit show.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Also too, the Melissa McCarthy impersonation is one of my favorite things.

    • boyblue123

      even if Spicer resigns, theyll just get a Spicer clone to say stuff that is just as absurd.

      No one who is even half-decent wants to be a Drumpf apologist for an hour daily

  • CatCope

    Sean, time to say bye-bye & spend more time with the “family”. Every fast food shop around is “Hiring”. Check them out. Just bein’ helpful & all. All ya have to do is say “May I take your order”……….. Can’t get in too much trouble with this, Right???!!!

    • Crystalclear12

      No, he must also upsell!
      “Would you like fries with that?”

  • CripesAmighty

    Notice April Ryan’s quadruple take as she gasps and looks around to confirm that she was not having an auditory hallucination.

    • Jennaratrix

      It looked like she wanted to ask the guy next to her, “Did he really just say that?” Dog knows that’s what I was thinking.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • TJ Barke

    I used to think that the worst we could ever get was the Shrub admin. Now I realize that it can always be worse.

    • LurkinLongmont

      With R’s there is no bottom, just turtles all the way down!

  • Spicer can’t criticize Hitler too much since he’s also known for rounding up undesirables from their homes and places of worship and shipping them off to other countries to die.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Even William the Conqueror would not drop lances from sparrows flying over England.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      European or African swallows?

      • Parakeetist

        Ni.

  • Jennaratrix

    I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I think he’s just so fucking stupid he didn’t realize what he was saying. Or wait, maybe not. Maybe he really is one of those people who truly don’t believe Hitler carried out the Final Solution. I don’t even fucking know anymore with these people.

    • SnarkON

      I think he’s stupid, poorly spoken and uneducated, just like the rest of the stupid, poorly spoken uneducated people currently running our country.

    • NastyBossetti

      I think he’s stupid, but I’m still going to make fun of what he said. Because it was so fucking stupid that no adult human alive today, and especially not one whose job it is to speak for a living, should have said that. He should have known as soon as the words started coming out of his mouth, and he should’ve stopped himself and said, “Actually, no. Let me start over.” And then he should have said ANYTHING else.

    • LurkinLongmont

      All of them, Katie… (example, the infinity)

  • Tallmutha

    On his thirteenth attempt, Spicer said, “Alright, let me try to make this Kristallnacht clear. I MEAN CRYSTAL. Let me try to make this crystal clear…”

    • Crystalclear12

      You invoked my name😁

      • clubseal

        You who shall not be named!

    • clubseal

      “I make one mistake and the media just Goebbels it up!”

      • Tallmutha

        Gott im Himmler, why are people so sensitive?

        • Doug Langley

          Yeah, they’ll Speer you for no reason.

          • Tallmutha

            One little slip and they’re Göring up to crucify youm or something.

    • wait! what?

      “Clear as Vodka, Sean.” – Major Carnagle

  • Swampay

    What does it mean? He is a idiot, that is all. This is not a sign that he hates joooos (although he might!) or thinks Hitler was swell (ditto!). He is just a idiot who doesn’t know how to words good. Which I would think would disqualify him as a spokesperson, unless you mean bicycle spokes in which case ok I guess?

    • It means he is reeeeeeeeaaaaaaally stressed out, and Godwin’s Law finally did schadenfreude to him.

      See, this is what literally happens when you do Hitler comparisons.

      • Swampay

        My new saying, btw, is:
        As a literalist, I take the word “literally” literally.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Do you mean that literally, or in the millennial way?

    • Swampay

      I mention this because I don’t think it serves us well when someone says something that is a idiot thing to say and we say, “See, he’s a Nazi!1!!!” People say the stupid, and we get to say “ha-ha” like Nelson on the Simpsons, but in the grand scheme of thing? That’s about all.

      • Crystalclear12

        Works on the first pass but not on the clarifications.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      He does hang out with Bannon all day, so let’s just say nazi…..sympathizer.

      • Crank Tango

        Exactly, all of these motherfuckers are guilty by association with each other, up and down the line.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      As I was telling someone my hot take on the Pepsi commercial: some things are offensive on account of just being SO. DAMN. STUPID. Yeah, there are other things that make it offensive, but that somebody was dumb enough to even entertain the notion that saying it out loud wouldn’t get any major blow back is ridiculousness.

    • laineypc

      I think it’s kind of concerning that he is saying, attempting to say (badly, stupidly, horrifyingly) that Assad is worse than Hitler, like it’s a pretext for what horrible thing that’s going to have a lot of collateral damage, but hey, we justified it because Worse Than Hitler.

  • FlownΩver

    Somebody please remind Ana Marie that comments are not allowed on Teh Wonket.

  • fawkedifiknow

    In all my years, I am quite certain I never heard anyone refer to the Nazi death camps as “Holocaust Centers.” Never.

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s kind of like the Love Boat, but in more of a rustic, camp like setting…

      • zerosumgame0005

        with more guards and Zyclon B showers…

      • wait! what?

        And you don’t have to worry about Cruise Director Julie McCoy doing all the cocaine off of her clip board.

      • And Gopher’s in charge!

        (Didn’t That Guy Who Played Gopher use to run for Republican offices a few years ago?)

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is that where you get tourist information and maps, and park rangers are on hand to answer any questions?

    • Crank Tango

      Jooz-R-Us

      It’s really better with the backwards R.

    • NastyBossetti

      Holocaust Centers, which are obviously not, you know, population centers. It’s not ok to just gas people to death in the population centers where they live. No no no, you need to round them up against their will and corral them somewhere else. Then, it magically means you’re not gassing your own people to death. Because you put them somewhere else first. You made them other! Therefore, you are not as bad as history’s new greatest monster, Assad. He has just replaced Hitler, who never would have done anything Assad is doing, nosirree!

    • laineypc

      If he had said “gas chambers” right after saying that there were no chemical weapons…well…kinda awkward there.

  • Helpful hint for Spicer: Look up who invented sarin. Yes, they did use it in at least one instance in war, but generally decided not to use it for more tactical reasons than “we don’t have it.”

  • I was trying to think of something clever or funny to type about this.
    But there is nothing clever or funny to type about this.

    Fuck you, Spicer and fuck your fucking boss.

  • SnarkON

    I almost feel sorry for the guy.

    • Tallmutha

      They say compassion is a virtue
      But I don’t have the time

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • wait! what?

      Adam, it’s “crowd center” size…

      • coozledad

        SPICER: Even Hitler’s Nuremberg rally crowds weren’t as big….

    • RobKanC

      There were like 6 billion ppl on the world that day. Bet Obama can’t boast those numbers.

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      Ahh!!!! I love the sound of trolling motors!

  • Doug Langley

    What’s really bizarre is how the original question was “What makes you think Putin will suddenly stop supporting Assad?” and Spicer thinks the correct answer is “Assad is worse than Hitler!!!!!”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Yeah… why did he even bring Hitler into this???

      So, for the record, this wasn’t a MSM libtard gotcha question. He volunteered that woeful analogy. The dumbass.

      • Rick Hill

        All questions dealing with reality are gotchas.

        Gotcha!

    • Rick Hill

      Putin smacks his forehead “Damn. You know, I totally overlooked that. My bad.”

  • AJ Milne

    I seriously suspect, notwithstanding people figuring he’s stolen what little attention was left for the Syrian fireworks show, that Trump actually _loves_ it when Spice puts his foot in it like this.

    So much of his grift is _based_ on this resentment of the relatively educated, those pointy-headed coastal do-gooders. And every time Spice says something sufficiently stupid and is roundly mocked, it’s just more smoke boiling between his angry whites’ ears, fuel for his fire. See!? Again!? Those pointy-headed jerks who actually know stuff making fun of the unpolished again… Surely Spice meant well (as do we all)… he’s just a bit… Clumsy.

    And then, of course, there’s the actual out-and-out anti-Semites who will just cast this as some Jewy gotcha. The Rockefellers _made_ him do it, see. Mind rays or somethin’. Or insert lengthy psychobabble here about how they’re only rolling their eyes so hard to Silence! The! Truth!

    Seriously, this crew probably figures there’s little downside for them that this guy could total a bumper car. Hell, it’s probably why they went with him.

  • Tallmutha

    I’m going to withhold judgement on all of this until we hear what GasTheEvilLibs has to say about it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Ah, I love the smell of Republican infighting in the afternoon:

    https://twitter.com/SafetyPinDaily/status/851915313696448512

    • Shoto

      Perhaps people are finally starting to figure out that ZEGS Ryan is the emptiest suit in Washington. Better late than never, I suppose.

      Have I mentioned that I loathe ZEGS Ryan with the heat of 10,000 suns?

      • Wee Mousie

        You probably mean the heat of10,000 blue stars, even thought the Zombie-Eyed Granny-Starver is undoubtedly a gas giant.

  • Chadwells

    If only Shitface Spicer had used air quotes…everything would be fine.

    • The Wanderer

      I think we’ve found the next Duck Dynasty family.

    • Anna Rompage

      Who knew the banjo boy had a brother with a missing tooth, and that they now reside in Oregon…

      • That moonfaced sweetheart on the right wasn’t about to give up his chew for a mugshot.
        Also it looks like his hair was cut, then replaced back on his head crooked.

    • bookish

      Lovely.

    • ♚ King Leo ♚

      meth is a hell of a drug

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I don’t even want to know what’s next:

    https://twitter.com/StopTheSpeaker/status/851869585011863552

  • Panika MCD

    TX Sen. Ed. makes me want to kill myself almost as much as IGR part ???

    Sen. Huffines wants to dissolve Dallas County School District (which is not really a school district) and we spent about an hour on his bill this morning.

    Sen. Bettencourt wants to do the same thing with the Harris County School District, but wants to involve the Sunset Commission for no good reason whatsoever.

    why he felt the need to spend 5 minutes laying out such a similar bill and did not get together with his makeup wearing, Trump doll humping buddy who is just like him except with make up does not make any sense to me.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Why is every legislature on a kick to dissolve school districts? The Nevada Leg is trying to break up the Clark County School District and bill the District for the consultant the Legislature hired to recommend the break up.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s not a school district per say. it’s a CSD which provides supplemental services to the ISDs within the county. all districts in TX are ISDs. and I think the same is true for NV.

    • marxalot

      Probably they are in dispute over a parking spot, a football game, or the angle at which they hump their Trump dolls.

      • Panika MCD

        nope. Bettencourt wants to have the Sunset Commission review a local entity for closure. is denying it. is elevating conspiracy theorist. just called the Houston Chronicle “fake news” (even though he uses Chronicle articles to yell at other people) and is basically a big old Trump humping prick who thinks that “top down” is a fun phrase to yell at local governments.

        • marxalot

          Sounds like exactly the kind of prick whose neighbors elected him to Austin so he’d get the hell off the city council and out of their lives. This system worked better in the 70s, or so Comrade Mom tells me.

  • boyblue123

    Another feel good United Airlines story

    https://twitter.com/hbecerraLATimes/status/851913700239745024

    • jesterpunk

      Well when you are in a hole there is only one thing to do, dig deeper and see how far down you can go.

    • Runs an investment firm, pays for a full-price, first class ticket, and gets bumped back to economy because he’s “not important enough.” Right, good PR move there United!

      • boyblue123

        Drumpf is going to hire whoever made that decision

  • jesterpunk

    He was just trying to say they where all sheriffs like Donald did during the election with when he retweeted an actual Nazi.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • ♚ King Leo ♚

    it’s not just that he’s a boot-licking piece of shit – it’s that he’s a boot-licking piece of shit who is bad at his job.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      They’re all bad at their jobs. Competent people aren’t exactly clamouring to climb aboard the Trump train.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I would call them “Amateurs” but not all amateurs are fuck ups.

        • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

          These people are unquestionably “professional” fuck-ups.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            These people are Olympic Gold-Medal-Winning All-Star Championship fuck-ups

          • marxalot

            Sold-Gold Bull Moose Cock Up or nothing.

    • Wee Mousie

      I don’t know, I always thought that as soulless boot-licking pieces of shit went, Sean Spicer was not only a dedicated boot-licking piece of shit, but also soul-free!

  • Nick Scroggs

    I was thinking of planning a run into the desert to hide out in case the world war happens, but now I more and more wonder if I should just plan it whether there’s war threats or not.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6H5wTqSQjo

    • marxalot

      Come out to Vegas, you can met my dog. It’s really pretty here.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Hmmm, I might.

  • Nick Scroggs
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Shonen Knife still around?? I remember seeing them play with the Breeders!

      • Nick Scroggs

        According to Wikipedia they released an album last year.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        When they play the Holocaust Center, do they bill themselves as Shoah Knife?

  • Shoto

    “the Holocaust centers” Seriously? I. Can’t. Even.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Spicer: “…and another thing. Hitler was not so bad. He killed Hitler! Period!”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Spicer continued, “I’ll let the tweets speak for themselves, but what Hitler really meant to say was–“

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Conservative parents” are shitheads. End of discussion.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Dare I ask what the content of the speech was?

      Also, too: that last sentence. Wow.

      • Doug Langley

        The speech was “Stay in school and study hard.” Really. I kid you not.

        • Jamoche

          Ah, the homeschool whackjobs hate that.

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      It must have been their economic anxiety.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Wonder what Shanneen Barron is up to these days, after saving her kids from Marxist indoctrination.

  • Holly

    Happy Passover! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/031893aad5dd25f7526566cc61bf0e14f40ac8dfc35e162f245eafc4058c363e.jpg

    “Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart, don’t know how to laugh either.” – Golda Meir

    And Spicy needs to go fuck himself…..

  • mancityRed6

    All right everyone, one thing to remember about Spicer, he was “…communications director of the Republican National Committee, from 2011 to 2017, and its chief strategist, from 2015 to 2017.”
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Spicer
    It’s not like he came into this job without any experience at all.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Does not mean he’s not an idiot. In fact, quite the opposite.

      • mancityRed6

        He worked with Priebus, so…yeah.

        • roberteye

          Louie Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, Mitch McConnell, Sam Brownback… Republicans who have served a long time in elective offers and seemed to grow even dumber, despite their experience.

          • mancityRed6

            It is easy to keep going once you break through the bottom of that barrel.

    • jesterpunk

      He was also the White House easter bunny when Shrub was president.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, that right there is the ultimate in resume items!

    • not_vh

      mancity saar,

      did you have to vote today?

    • HogeyeGrex

      So, a product of the swamp draining, then.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Yet he still can’t operate a necktie.

  • Wee Mousie

    Perhaps if Spicer would go into an airtight glass chamber and open a few fresh cans of Zyklon B, Hair Furor wouldn’t need to fire him.

    • snigsy

      But that would involve historical facts, which don’t exist anymore.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    #SeanSpicerHitlerFacts should be a thing.

    • Wee Mousie

      #SeanSpicerHitlerFacts At least Hitler never started a war or bombed innocent civilians.

      (You mean like that?)

  • Bill Slider

    Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons. Did they call it an air freshener?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Pesticide

    • TJ Barke

      Not on the battlefield, or in combat, of course, that’s sort of a semantics thing.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Babble Spicer: “At least Hitler didn’t have a private email server. Period!”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And nobody ever got a “stand down order” from Hitler.

      • schmannity

        cough Rommel cough

    • mancityRed6

      At least he didn’t personally kill…what are we up to now? 28 people?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Distinction without a difference at this point.

    • boyblue123

      Sean Spicer knows he can say anything blatantly racist, anti-semitic, etc without any blowback from the administration though

    • HogeyeGrex

      Those are hardly mutually exclusive attributes. In fact…

    • Wee Mousie

      Spicer has said something so god-dammed stupid that 318,901,002 Americans now know he’s had his head up his ass for too long, and oxygen deprivation just killed his last working brain cell.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Too fucking stupid to continue to [redacted in deference to the Commenting Rules for Radicals], with sharp, pointy, Zyklon-B laced votes.

  • Anna Rompage

    The Holocaust Center, is that anything like the local Elks Club?

    • mancityRed6

      It’s where the kids go to hang out, play video games and pool, and drink pop.

      • roberteye

        But it is how Hitler and his buds “sold” the concentration camps – like vacation spas. But getting jammed into cattle cars to get there might have given one pause, however.

    • Nick Scroggs

      There’s a place called the Eagle’s Lodge in East Portland, weird like, 50s suburbia place, acoustic tile, one dollar mystery shots, and an 80-something security guard in a cowboy hat.

      • Anna Rompage

        Isn’t that the place they do the swap meet/junk sale out in the parking lot?

        • Nick Scroggs

          Not sure, probably. Hell, they loaned out the bingo room for stand up comedy. If you’re in Portland, it’s right across fro the Mt. Tabor Theatre, on Hawthrone I think. There’s a place that’s like Space Age themed, a restaurant, got some bacon and cheddar tater tots that.

          • Anna Rompage

            Yep, that’s it. Also the space age place is the iconic ‘Space Room’. A great dive bar that serves extremely cheap & stiff cocktails!

            I started going there in the 90s, a time when the bar would be filler with aged men, chain smoking and drinking all day & night long!

          • Nick Scroggs

            Right, that’s the place, apparently they’re selling it.

          • puredog

            The Space Room Lounge is a Portland classic.

        • puredog

          Yup.

    • snigsy

      It’s just right of the mall.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Vernichtungslager

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      It’s a dead mall.

    • not_vh

      Its just a fancy name for Holocaust Depot in PBS shows. Have you not seen This Old Slaughter?

    • Shoto

      Probably sorta like a day spa, maybe.

    • Wee Mousie

      Give me another slice of that there Elk, waiter, but hold the MSG and the Zyklon B,

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • schmannity

    I’m glad only the best people work for Trump. Some right wing idealogue dipshit might not have handled this so deftly.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Okay Spicer, maybe it’s time to fire Bannon as your history tutor.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • mancityRed6

      No. Spicer is the best spokesperson for tRump outside of an off the cuff Kellyann or a drunk Bannon.

  • Bill D. Burger

    April Ryan: “Got down’! Did you hear that? WTF?”

    https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/851866851084836865

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Her head popped up so fast I thought it would fly loose of her neck.

    • puredog

      “Stop doing that Exorcist thing with your head!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Well, if you are going to get technical, they’re all “chemical” weapons.

      Usually, they split out poison gas from incendiary devices, which incidentally can’t legally be used on civilians either.

    • Tallmutha

      Well look, if you expect us to remember the historical record, we won’t be able to make our current enemy the worst of all time. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Iraq-Iran War libelz.

      • Crank Tango

        And the kurds, didn’t we talk them into uprizin and gettin gassed?

        • puredog

          No whey!

          • Crank Tango

            That’s pretty cheesy.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Moar of a genocide than a battlefield, IMO.

          • marxalot

            I am dairy disappointed in you.

    • boyblue123

      I thought Mattis was one of the sane ones, not part of the Pepe crowd

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        he is. but he is old. maybe he forgot the 1980s and what was going on in the region?

        • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

          Only reagan forgot what was going on. Well I guess the RWNJs have as well

      • Anna Rompage

        I saw part of his news conference today, he was either drunk, or has recently suffered a stroke…

      • notaten

        It’s different when we do it, it just is, ok? Suck it up and move on!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Tell him, somebody must have lied to this Iranian soldier:

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Chemical_weapon1.jpg

    • Crank Tango

      Well, technically water is a chemical so take that libtards.

    • Anna Rompage

      Japan used chem & bio weapons extensively in China during WWII…

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I think Chinese don’t count.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Not if they fly United.

        • Anna Rompage

          Apparently, just like the jews…

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            These don’t count either:

            In a declassified 1991 report, the CIA estimated that Iran had suffered more than 50,000 casualties from Iraq’s use of several chemical weapons,[193] though current estimates are more than 100,000 as the long-term effects continue to cause casualties.[49][194] The official CIA estimate did not include the civilian population contaminated in bordering towns or the children and relatives of veterans, many of whom have developed blood, lung and skin complications, according to the Organization for Veterans of Iran. According to a 2002 article in the Star-Ledger, 20,000 Iranian soldiers were killed on the spot by nerve gas. As of 2002, 5,000 of the 80,000 survivors continue to seek regular medical treatment, while 1,000 are hospital inpatients.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Yellow on yellow violence. Suck it up.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pandora ain’t just the name of a music channel.

  • Nick Scroggs

    “What’s a pederast, Walter?” “Shut the fuck up Donny.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WJInl7HeWA

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I wonder what the Spanish word for calitas is.

  • Panika MCD

    damn. now I want to watch the video of Spice Spice Baby tripping over the bodies of 6 million people, but I have to listen to Bettencourt elevating conspiracy theorists again. because: this is surely punishment for something.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Did you run over a gypsy’s dog in a past life?

      • Panika MCD

        no, but someone did or Bettencourt would not be alive and in the TX Senate.

  • Michael R
  • Bill D. Burger
    • puredog

      “Pepsi? Pepsi who?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • YoBunnyBunny

      He could just take a page from Pooty Poot, but I guess all the “heart attacks” and “nasty falls” will get suspicious after the body count reaches a certain number…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shouldn’t there be a Witless Relocation program?

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    The Anne Frank Center should back off. They are the real Nazis!!1

  • Tallmutha

    I think it’s finally time for the White House to leave communications to the amateurs. Let Trump do it.

  • Thorn Spike

    Hoo boy.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I read the news today.
      Hoo boy.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Spicy is on CNN, obviously reading cue cards while Wolf Blitzer asks him the “tough” questions. Jared obviously called into the office and told his presidential staff to make this go away right now.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Too bad Megyn Kelly isn’t ready at FOX to defend Spicy: “Zyklon B. It’s aromatherapy, ESSENTIALLY.”

    • Panika MCD

      she’s not going to be ready at MSNBC to do it? oh, that’s Gretchen’s job.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Much love to my brothers and sisters to the south of me. Your guy is on my resistance group’s list for 2018!

    https://twitter.com/CAPAction/status/851809951425155073

  • ken_kukec

    “Third clarification” — I believe that matches the Boss’s own personal best, after his answer about punishing abortion-murderers of the female persuasion.

    • puredog

      That was actually in a more rarefied league, as it was wrong-headed, dumb, and entirely intentional. This was more just “bad phrasing.” It could have been completely fixed in one go. Trumpy had to walk his gaffe back with more vigor.

      • ken_kukec

        Not sure it was “entirely intentional”; it looked like Trump had never thought about the issue before — that he knew Republicans were against abortion, but couldn’t be arsed to learn the pro-life tropes, including the one about the woman being called a “victim” (at least until abortion is made illegal; then the gloves can come off).

        • puredog

          He very well may not have thought of it before, but I did not say that it was a long-considered opinion. He was presented with the issue, parsed it as “woman breaks anti-abortion law for getting abortion, must be consequences for law-breaking,” and leapt intentionally to where his logic took him. It is, after all, legally logical, it’s just that the forced-birthers are canny enough to know it’s a hard sell. Donnie may be canny in some ways — maybe — but is breathtakingly stupid in others.

          • ken_kukec

            The Donald is canny about leverage and clout — in general, and manipulating the media, more specifically — but he knows fuck-all about public policy and the functioning of government. He couldn’t find the enumerated powers of Congress if you gave him field glasses and a compass, and spotted him the last six Articles of the Constitution.

  • goonemeritus

    So what topics are you suggesting Sean is equipped to discuss? perhaps would should assemble a short list of safe topics that he can retreat to in the improbable event of him not being fired today.

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      Observations on objects in his immediate field of vision? No, too risky.

      • Bad Tom

        How about a Vow of Silence?
        Yeah, a Vow of Silence.
        Completely silent press conferences. No lies told. Everyone at peace.
        That’s the fucking ticket.
        ——-
        It would be so fucking Zen. Fuck!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      His shoe size? Nope, might mix it up with his IQ.

  • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy
  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Damn. There goes his supply of new wives.

  • snigsy

    These are people who regard history as simply “history”–bad pr mistakes or whatevs.

    • GoutMachine

      What’s a little genocide between friends, amirite!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Spicer Facts: “Concentration camps were just Holocaust centers and slave ships were just transatlantic ferries. PERIOD!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • SayItWithOtters

      He might mention this one to the Defense Secretary too.

  • schmannity

    I wonder if Spicer can be prosecuted under German law.

  • goonemeritus

    Not even Sean first fuckup of the week and last time I looked it is only Tuesday.

  • Holly

    Fuck it dude! It’s time to break out The BIg Lebowski and drink until it doesn’t hurt anymore.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • orygoon

    If I could make all this stop somehow, my dears, I would do whatever it took.

  • Ezio
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Got an “oh, for fuck’s sake” moment for us, NYT link?

    Marine Le Pen Denies French Guilt for Rounding Up Jews

    The remark was made on Sunday during an interview in which she referred to the most notorious roundup of Jews in France during World War II, when nearly 13,000 were arrested in Paris by the French police on July 16 and 17, 1942, in what is known as the “Vel d’Hiv roundup.”

    “France wasn’t responsible for the Vel d’Hiv,” she said. “If there was responsibility, it is with those who were in power at the time, it is not with France. France has been mistreated, in people’s minds, for years.”

    Ick. But does she have a point?

    “Vichy did not have a knife to its throat,” the historian Philippe Burrin wrote of the Vel d’Hiv roundup in his landmark book, “La France à l’Heure Allemande,” (“France Under the Germans”).

    “Without the help of the police” — the French police — “the SS was paralyzed,” Mr. Burrin wrote. “The French authorities were entirely disposed to get rid of foreign Jews,” he wrote, referring to the officials’ offer to the Nazis, on that occasion at least, to hand over Jews who were not French citizens.

    Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • RobKanC

      Did ww2 even happen. Or is it a Jewish invention like Christ. Bet St. Peter didn’t think that one through.

    • The Wanderer

      The Milice and the Gendarmerie were in it.

    • SayItWithOtters

      I knew when her party started trying to re-brand themselves as Best Friend to the Jews Because We Hate Muslims So Much that they wouldn’t be able to hold it in for long.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      From Wikipedia:

      In 1995, President Jacques Chirac officially recognized the responsibility of the French state for the deportation of Jews during the war, in particular the more than 13,000 victims the Vel’ d’Hiv Roundup of July 1942, during which Pierre Laval decided (who was executed for high treason after the war), of his own volition (and without being requested by the occupying German authorities), to deport children along with their parents.

      • puredog

        Well of course he did. Chirac was a cuque.

        • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

          Sad pawn of you-know-who, obviously.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • georgiaburning

      Bill Cosby can use some help, too

  • Bill D. Burger
  • CeeQ

    So weird how much like Nazis Trump & his Nazi-esque followers are. It’s such a surprise that I am dead now.

  • I will be very disappointed to see Spicer get fired. He’s a perfect spokesperson for the trump administration.

    In fact, I’m sending a message of support to the white house in support.

    • II Gosala

      Troll!

      (Brilliant troll)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’d give him a [Zyklon] B for effort.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • not_vh

      he’s like, i give up. what more does a guy have to do?

    • Ωbjectifier

      “You know nothing of my work. You mean my whole fallacy is wrong. How you ever got to be a press secretary is beyond me.”

  • Olav_Pompatus

    “Let my Press Secretary go!”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Good thing burns are still covered by the ACA:

    https://twitter.com/RepAdamSchiff/status/851879257529868289

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      In a just world, the only thing Sean Spicer would be talking about as part of his job would be: “Would you like fries with that?”

      • He’d fuck that up pretty spectacularly too

        • Doug Langley

          “Hey, I order a double cheeseburger, but this is a fish fillet.”

          “Well, so what? At least Hitler didn’t use gas weapons!”

  • snark-lurker

    it is complicated: a Holocast denyer denying that he denied? did i get that right?

  • CeeQ

    This concludes Sean Spicer’s master class on verbal diarrhea plus bonus continuous email vomiting, as a real time demonstration.

    (Good grief. It’s like he’s some unstoppable moron.)

    • not_vh

      concludes? this is just the first quarter of junior high.

      • CeeQ

        This will never end ugggghhhh

  • Johnnymoreno

    When you have to spin the spin spin…

    These goddamn idiots are way beyond merely relentless.

    • BadKitty904

      I keep using the phrase “aggressively stupid“…

      • Johnnymoreno

        I’ve been trying to find the words beyond “Farce” or “surreal” or “insane”

        I just don’t have the words to describe this.

        • BadKitty904

          We may need to create new ones to encompass this horror that the GOP – with Russia’s help – has foisted upon us.

        • Bad Tom

          Orbis terrarum exitio ostende stercore
          ——-
          Latin for “World destroying shit show”.
          Needs work.

          • Johnnymoreno

            That has the right amount of gravitas mixed with absurdity. You’re on the right track.

  • notaten

    I interpret all of these statements as, “once we get rid of all the muslins and messicans, we’re coming for you, jooos!” That’s not a joke. I am ashamed and worried, and have already told my mexican, Jewish and Muslim friends that they are always welcome on my compound. Well, it’s not really a compound, but I call it that sometimes. No one will look for you here, you will be safe.

    • RobKanC

      Ummm. Before jooos. There are other black and Asian ppl. So they are fine for another 20 years. Give or take.

      • Bad Tom

        Two years. Maybe less.
        It’s the internet age.

    • Little Doll

      I keep checking in with my son’s lovely Hispanic/Black girlfriend too, to make sure she and her family are all safe and people are treating them well. I have also made comments about flight to Canada, and her mother has spoken of it as well.

      Creepy fucking times.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “All functional administrations are alike; each dysfunctional one is dysfunctional in its own way.” Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, were he alive today

    • msanthropesmr

      “What the fuck, I can’t even – where’s the vodka” Tolstoy, today.

      • Bad Tom

        “Fuck vodka. I know you have better than vodka. It’s 2017,” Tolstoy, today.

        • puredog

          I am always remember Bond, James Bond’s, practice of putting a little pepper in his vodka to catch the diesel/fusel (?) oil floating on the surface — a drawback of Russian bathtub vodka — so that it would carry it to the bottom of the glass.

  • Ezio

    You know, the ironic thing here is that Spicer is doing exactly what Hitler did. Hitler DID gas his own people, because German Jews were just as German as their Christian neighbors. Spicer is essentially saying he didn’t see them as real Germans.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hitler also gaslighted his own people.
      You know who else gaslighted his own people?

      • Crank Tango
      • Doug Langley

        The head of Exxon?

      • Serai 1

        Did you see the documentary about Hitler’s secretary? Very interesting woman. Fascinating perspective on what happened and how it could have happened. I recommend it. :)

      • redarmyzombie

        Savonarola?

    • Jon Sussex

      Or people.

    • Serai 1

      And Jews were hardly the only people to get chucked into the gas chambers.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    So where the fuck are all those “best people” you promised, Donnie? And all that “winning” everyone was going to get sick of – when is it going to start, exactly?

    • Bad Tom

      Donnie didn’t realize that Vlad was gonna be winning, not him.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Give the man a power shovel and tell him to Drill, Baby, Drill!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Next, “Even Hitler didn’t form an alliance with Russia.”

    • BadKitty904

      I’m sticking with “Even Hitler didn’t betray his country to Russia.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Yr. Gma

    This is the monster who killed his wife and himself at Northpark Elementary School in San Bernardino yesterday. The lady is his wife who was a special-needs teacher at the school.
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/04/11/00/3F250A8500000578-4399048-image-a-40_1491868670755.jpg

    • msanthropesmr

      Gee, if there were only some way of keeping guns out of the hands of the mentally ill and violent spousal abusers.

      • Yr. Gma

        Well, that’s impossible, duh. Jesus gave us the 2nd amendment.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        That’s crazy talk. What we need to do is ban people from visiting schools during working hours without pre-approval, and anyone who does visit must be patted down, waved through a metal detector, and escorted by armed guards wherever they go.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Do like we do in Arizona, ban schools. No more school shootings, problem solved.

          • puredog

            That IS efficient.

    • Bad Tom

      Also an eight year old child killed, and another wounded.
      Gun culture collateral damage.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence. So many women have lost their lives right when they finally thought they were going to get it back. Sickening.

    • Nyumbu

      Just remember, he was a devout Christian, so it wasn’t an act of terror, simply the act of a distraught husband.

  • Crank Tango

    Spicey’s doing such a heckuva good job, Chump should tapp him to head up the FEMA deathcamps, er centers.

  • eyelashviper

    Hard to imagine, but Spicey is nearly as clueless and dense as his Dear Leader, Agent Orange.

  • Serai 1

    My Holocaust denial is limited to being sorry nobody remembers the actual meaning of the word anymore. (Especially since we are the ones who perpetuated actual holocausts in that war. What Hitler did was genocide, a different thing altogether.)

  • BadKitty904

    So, is Jared Kushner going to issue a statement supporting his asshat Dad-in-law’s pet fuckwit?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If this is true, there could be more slip-ups on the way:

    https://twitter.com/LeftOfMainSt/status/851927741616332805

    • jowgajen

      They mean Wednesday of NEXT WEEK.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, you believe Kushner is strictly observant. Personally I think he’s got Pence’s plausible deniability game in the shade.

    • Nyumbu

      Not to worry. President-for-life Bannon is on the clock.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This is a misunderstanding of how it works. Jews don’t sequester themselves during Shabbot and other holy days. He can’t turn on media, but he can leave it on, and people can still talk to him.

  • msanthropesmr

    Damn – It’s passover? I feel really bad for making Shrimp, bacon and grits, topped with Cheddar Cheese. Treif to the max.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Very shellfish of you.

    • Anna Rompage

      If it’s any consolation, I was actually going to make Persian food for dinner this evening, and I’m even part jew…

      • msanthropesmr

        Me pa is Jewish.

        • Anna Rompage

          I was adopted and am unsure were if falls in my line, but my DNA tests show I’m 10% Sephardic jew…

          • snark-lurker

            is that contagious?

          • Anna Rompage

            I don’t know, perhaps…

            I do make the best chicken soup out of any of my friends…

          • snark-lurker

            uh, um-uh, am i one of your friends?

            **rubbing neck area**

  • miss_grundy

    Not only are these assholes ignorant regarding science, female anatomy, and theology but now they show how ignorant they are regarding the Holocaust and during Passover no less. The people who voted for the Tangerine Toddler should be removed from this country because they pose more of a danger than undocumented immigrants.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I am ashamed of myself for laughing at this one:

    https://twitter.com/PalmerReport/status/851927077037252608

    • I’m not. Laughter is good

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Trump calls on United to drag Assad out of Syria.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      And then go back for Bannon.

    • boyblue123

      Hitler just used alternative saunas at the Holocaust centers

      -Spicer, probably

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Worst. Sauna. Ever.
        You don’t want to know about the unhappy ending.
        0/10.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    March 16, 1988; Kurdish City of Halabja, Iraq

    It was a beautiful spring day. As the clock approached 11:00 in the morning, I felt a strange sensation; my heart convulsed as if it were telling me that we were on the verge of a major calamity. Within minutes, artillery rounds began to explode in Halabja and planes began dropping bombs on the town. The bombing was concentrated on the northern neighborhoods, so we ran and hid in our basement. At 2 o’clock in the afternoon, as the intensity of the bombing wound down, I carefully sneaked out of the basement to the kitchen and carried food to my family. When the bombing stopped, we began to hear noises that sounded like metal pieces falling on the ground. But I didn’t find an explanation.

    I saw things that I won’t forget for as long as I live. It started with a loud strange noise that sounded like bombs exploding, and a man came running into our house, shouting, ‘Gas! Gas!’ We hurried into our car and closed its windows. I think the car was rolling over the bodies of innocent people. I saw people lying on the ground, vomiting a green-colored liquid, while others became hysterical and began laughing loudly before falling motionless onto the ground. Later, I smelled an aroma that reminded me of apples and I lost consciousness. When I awoke, there were hundreds of bodies scattered around me. After that I took shelter again in a nearby basement and the area was engulfed by an ugly smell. It was similar to rotting garbage, but then it changed to a sweet smell similar to that of apples. Then I smelled something that was like eggs.

    When you hear people shouting the words ‘gas’ or ‘chemicals’ — and you hear those shouts spreading among the people — that is when terror begins to take hold, especially among the children and the women. Your loved ones, your friends, you see them walking and then falling like leaves to the ground. It is a situation that cannot be described — birds began falling from their nests; then other animals, then humans. It was total annihilation. Whoever was able to walk out of the town, left on foot. Whoever had a car, left by car. But whoever had too many children to carry on their shoulders, they stayed in the town and succumbed to the gas

    • mancityRed6

      and if I remember right, they did it from Bell helicopters bought after Reagan sent those spurs and that asshole to give them to Saddam.
      and the gas was made from a factory that was dual purpose, operated by people taught in the US.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        No, this is at the end of the Iraq-Iran war. Largest single chemical attack ever. against a civilian population.

        The attack killed between 3,200 and 5,000 people and injured 7,000 to 10,000 more, most of them civilians.[1][2] Thousands more died of complications, diseases, and birth defects in the years after the attack.[3] The incident, which has been officially defined by Supreme Iraqi Criminal Tribunal as a genocidal massacre against the Kurdish people in Iraq,[4] was and still remains the largest chemical weapons attack directed against a civilian-populated area in history

        • mancityRed6

          yeah. this was after Reagan took Iraq off of the terrorist sponsoring nations list.
          from the wikipedia page: “Among several documents revealed during the trial of Saddam Hussein, one was a 1987 memo from Iraq’s military intelligence seeking permission from the president’s office to use mustard gas and the nerve agent sarin against Kurds. A second document said in reply that Saddam had ordered military intelligence to study the possibility of a “sudden strike” using such weapons against Iranian and Kurdish forces. An internal memo written by military intelligence confirmed it had received approval from the president’s office for a strike using “special ammunition” and emphasized that no strike would be launched without first informing the president.”
          And chemical Ali “…was condemned to death by hanging by an Iraqi court in January 2010, after being found guilty of orchestrating the Halabja massacre.”

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            fucking nasty shit

          • mancityRed6

            yep. and the US had it’s fingerprints all over it. and some of Europe did, too. like a guy in Wales told me, “we know he was WMDs, we have the receipts.” it wasn’t until Saddam invaded Kuwait (during HW’s vacation in August) that Iraq got put back on the list. until then, they got financing for all the weapons they could buy.

        • Bhopal understands the horror.

      • snark-lurker

        USA USA USA!

    • Nick Scroggs

      Holy fucking crap.
      Edit, although this is from Wikipedia, just to be certain.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Doug Langley

      brilliant

  • Claire

    So UA told Pepsi to hold its beer, and then Sean Spicer passed his beer to UA. Can we get off the beer-go-round now? I don’t really want to find out what the next “Hold my beer” fiasco is going to be.

    • Nyumbu

      For the first time ever I’m glad 45 aka TSTFFWOSG doesn’t drink beer.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Google wants this to be STAFF DOGS. Please expand.

        • Nyumbu

          ThinSkinnedTinyFingeredFerretWearingOrangeShitGibbon

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Does Kim Jong Un drink beer?

      • Claire

        God, I hope not. He’s nutty enough sober.

  • Ezio

    Today is Passover. Spicer literally picked the worst day to do this. Then again, I guess any day is the worst day for Holocaust denial.

    • vivian

      Some are worstester than others.

      • snark-lurker

        you use $4.00 werd hear!? holy gwak-a-molie

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Yom Ha’Shoah Libel!

  • Yr. Gma

    This is Jonathan, the little boy who was killed by the monster in San Bernardino. He was standing next to his special-needs teacher when a bullet struck him in the forehead. He was eight years old.http://image.sbsun.com/storyimage/LG/20170411/NEWS/170419899/AR/0/AR-170419899.jpg&maxh=400&maxw=667
    http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/ht-jonathan-martinez-san-bernardino-flt-ps-170411_4x3_992.jpg

    • miss_grundy

      Rest in peace and rise in glory, little one.

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      Yet another example of the free passes people get for claiming religion. History of violence, but Christian pastor, therefore he seems nice.

    • not_vh

      paapam.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Please don’t show this to Ivanka. She’ll have Trump invading California.

    • Vel Venturi

      Thanks for all the guns and family values, GOP. Actually, no, I’d rather have this little dude still living, so maybe just stick with the ‘protecting children’ thing you still can’t seem to get quite right, Repugs.

      Dammit.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Please don’t fire MAGA Bob !!! We’ll be talking about this word tumor for the rest of Passover, at least.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    jhca. And how could Bloomberg make this worse?

    “Why should U.S. taxpayers be interested in Ukraine?” Tillerson asked foreign ministers discussing Russia’s intervention there at a Group of Seven gathering Tuesday in Lucca, Italy.

    French Foreign Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault, who later recounted the exchange to reporters, said he responded that American taxpayers ought to want a European Union that’s “strong politically, strong from a security point of view, and strong economically.”

    But the provocative remark suggested Tillerson, the former chief of Exxon Mobil Corp., is still finding his footing in a world of diplomacy where even passing remarks are parsed for deeper meaning.

    https://twitter.com/juliaioffe/status/851925559118635008

    • SayItWithOtters

      Give him a break, he’s still thinking in terms of shareholders and quarterly projections.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Right. Because if there was share value at stake he wouldn’t have parsed that shit at all.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tillerson is totally out of his depth here. As in out of depth on a wet sidewalk. Utterly incompetent.

    • not_vh

      did his wife ask him to say this?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Moar like what a pee hooker would recommend one say.

        • not_vh

          this was a take on his earlier “my wife made me do this” wail.

    • TJ Barke

      Because we’re supposed to give a shit about freedom and democracy…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      We could send a couple rusted-out bathtubs and probably out-gun the North Korean Navy.

      • vivian

        And they could shell Seoul back into the 1800’s or drop a nuke on Tokyo.
        This is cray cray vs. cray cray. No one wins.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sure, but I doubt China’s just gonna sit it out if we move on NK.
        This is gonna get fucking out of hand really fast.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Fake news.

      Those boats don’t even have sails.

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy
      • Msgr_MΩment

        Charlotte Rampling was a nice piece of tail.

      • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

        “fructified”
        4:41

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I can’t believe I’ve never seen this sketch.

        Mmmm. Fresh Python!

    • Panika MCD

      so we’re sending Mexicans?

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Claro

  • coozledad

    Holocaust denial is in the goddamn DNA of the Republican party. If you’ve ever heard a group of shitfaced white men at a country club, you don’t have to be told this. Spicer just reconfirmed this for the base. Trump obviously feels a need to reconnect with the white nationalists, and this was the easiest way.

    Look how fired up they are onTwitter and tell me this shit was an accident.

    • miss_grundy

      El Naranjito didn’t need to reconnect with white supremacists–he has always been one due to his daddy.

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        He actually did need a little love therapy, they were all pissy about the whole Syria thing: Spicey is basically sending them a dozen roses and a box of chocolates with this one.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Sounds more like he’s on his knees with his mouth open

    • Serai 1

      It’s fortunate that I’ve never heard anyone come close to spouting that shit in my vicinity.

  • Me not sure

    I can’t wait to see what Melissa McCarthy has in her prop box next time she does Spicer.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      She alone, could perform for the entire program.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “This is the day Sean Spicer became White House Press Secretary” __ Fareed Zakaria

    ~snort!~

    https://m.popkey.co/fe33b1/M7qLx_s-200×150.gif

    • Shoto

      “The beautiful words of the esteemed press secretary.”

      — Brian Williams.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I am posting that to Zakaria’s twitter feed, toot sweet.

  • Hither and Yawn

    Holocaust Centers? Holy shit, but this moron is one petit mal seizure from calling them “Jewish spas.”

    • Me not sure

      Mortality saunas?

    • Jon Sussex

      They just sent them there so they could concentrate.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Jude Ranch.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Coffee Spewed on the Keyboard Award.

  • Shoto
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      More human than the ones at Wells Fargo, that’s for sure.

    • not_vh

      lol. my kind of joke

  • Picabo

    Historical fact. “SS John Harvey was a U.S. World War II Liberty ship. This ship is most well known for carrying a secret cargo of mustard gas and whose sinking by German aircraft in December 1943 at the port of Bari in south Italy caused an unintentional release of chemical weapons.”
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_John_Harvey

    I don’t normally use Wikipedia as a reliable source. I read about this incident in Rick Atkinson’s “The Day of Battle: The War in Sicily and Italy, 1943-1944 (The Liberation Trilogy)”

  • Marceline

    Since the Easter Egg Roll is shaping up to be such a disaster, I’m in the mood for a bonus Obama post. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/effc69095db03969150301cfde50387b6b2e60d8dfe9fe3b108ccbe7336bfcb9.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Scooby

    What he meant to say was even Hitler didn’t try to kill people by taking away thier health insurance.

  • Johnnymoreno

    Jeeze Sean…Baghdad Bob never made such idiotic BLUNDERS!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Creepoman

    You know, even Hitler didn’t try to defend an indefensible comment.

  • Brendan_M

    I don’t know if this was posted, as I was watching sportsball and missed this post until 700 comments were already made, but Rick Perlstein dubbed Sean Sphincter as the “Pagliacci of the Pressroom” and I thought that was perfect.

  • Panika MCD

    friendly reminder DEMAND:

    don’t ever say you’re going to be brief or you understand how long a day it’s been in a legislative hearing. I WILL CUT YOU *with my words*.

    • snark-lurker

      **qwivvering with terrible, real fear here**

      • Jonny On Maui

        As we should. I’ve seen Panika’s words. Pretty sharp!

        • snark-lurker

          I KNOW! that is why “real” is there

          • Panika MCD

            it’s pretty simple: talk about the bill you came to talk about. the small talk is not helping you. it’s just annoying people like me–not to mention the people you want to pass or not pass that bill.

  • Serai 1

    This guy is an idiot, but I think what he was trying to say was that Hitler didn’t drop chemical bombs on Germans, as opposed to incendiary devices. (I’m not up on the types of weapons used and where, so I won’t be surprised if he’s full of shit.) It’s just that Ragey’s vocabulary is so fucking limited he can’t even find the correct words for “thing that blows up but not with fire”.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, specifically I believe he said that Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Which technically is true, on the battlefield sense, the Germans had nerve agents but didn’t use them. That did not stop them slaughtering whole towns of resisters, however.

        • Serai 1

          Absolutely, but the question being asked was specifically about gas and chemical weapons. So his answer, though a dumb one, was trying to address that specific question. It’s a little unfair to extrapolate an answer on something that wasn’t being addressed just because it makes Ragey sound like more of a shithead than he already is (if that’s possible).

      • Serai 1

        While he was fumbling around talking about bombs. It’s obvious he wasn’t talking about anything like the gas chambers. I don’t hold with this idiot at all, but I also get very irritated when I hear people saying HE SAID THIS when he didn’t. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t do Twitter – that kind of shit would drive me bugfuck bananas and I’d spend every minute there screaming at people for it.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          No, I’m sorry. He said something very specific, which was that Hitler did not use chemical weapons. Then he tried to find some way the current use was less honorable than the way he actually did. In the course of which he suggested two distinctions: that the current victims were “his own people” and that they were “innocent.”

          I’m afraid in this instance it’s not going to get you far insisting on what you’re inferring that he meant, but byball means have at it. You don’t get to insist that people ignore what HE SAID.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It doesn’t matter what he “meant”. There’s a level that one reaches where what you say is it. You don’t get endless re-do’s once you’re the PS of the fucking President.

      • puredog

        “Now watch this mulligan.”

      • Serai 1

        You’re misinterpreting my comment. I’m not condoning or excusing his bullshit. I’m just pointing out what I’m pretty sure he was trying, in his grossly incompetent way, to say. And yeah, once it’s said, it’s said. But Evan was questioning what the fuck this moron was trying to say, and I’m pretty sure Ragey was not trying to say “Hitler never gassed anybody”.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I get what you are saying. I just feel like perhaps Republicans should try to stop comparing anyone to Hitler. It never works out well for them. I don’t think he’s denying the Holocaust. He’s just exceptionally stupid and doesn’t word good.

      • Serai 1

        LOL, oh yeah. I’m amazed they still do that when pretty much every time they try it, it blows up in their faces. It’s pretty fucking hard to set up as Epitomes of Evil a bunch of people you basically agree with.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    How many more clarifications until Spicey finally decides to throw Hitler under the bus?

    • Creepoman

      It just takes one – own it, admit you absolutely fucked up and apologize profusely. But they will never consider any of those three steps.

      • II Gosala

        He knows he can’t own it because of the firestorm

        He can’t admit he fucked up because he genuinely, truly doesn’t understand that he did.

        Apologizing is something these guys don’t do.

        • Creepoman

          It is the party of personal accountability after all.

  • azeyote

    so i guess killing us with Roundup ain’t a chemical problem either –

    • ♚ King Leo ♚

      it would be faster to kill people with table salt than Roundup.

      • Shanzgood

        McDonalds is working on that from both angles.

        • snark-lurker

          Wut?! you donut like McDonnies?

          • Shanzgood

            I lurves ma fast food. I eat as much as I can stand and hope it all goes straight to my ass.

          • snark-lurker

            oh, denying yuh got a bum again, aye?

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t even know any more.

          • snark-lurker

            down day? don’t wanna play?

          • Shanzgood

            I just haven’t seen it in ages.

          • snark-lurker

            i have no hips & no buns and still have been told i have a cute ass (by ladies younger than i, fwiw) so maybe you just donut get told? how about pinches, pats, taps or slaps?

          • Shanzgood

            That’s usually called “sexual assault” so, no.

          • snark-lurker

            even when my boss’s wife groped my buns & i didn’t mind, i was actually flattered NOWTAKEADEEPBREATHANDCOUNTTOTEN… …

            …sufficiently composed? i realize that wimmens feel 180 opposite about this, and that you are not (rarely?) a head taller & 60 lbs stronger–(to beat hims up).i get it, i respect it, but i donut understnd it–this is a normal guy thing, just like having a peener is [usually] a guy thing. just because i cannut understand a thing doz not mean i got a PFFFT tood about it. i donut understand why guys wanna touch booty but we do, yet we donut all do it.

            thuoghts?

          • marxalot

            how’s baconz, anyway?

          • Shanzgood

            Bored and frustrated. He misses his kids desperately. Which compounds the insanity of why he’s there in the first place.

      • Doug Langley

        Get Smart scene:

        “Do you know what this is, Mr Smart?”
        “Artificial sweetener?”
        “No! It is sodium calcium chloride, the second deadliest poison known to man!”
        “Oh. What’s the first deadliest?”
        “Artificial sweetener.”

      • Augustus

        That’s irrelevant — the danger of organophosphates are their biological persistence in the environment, not their acute toxicity.

        • ♚ King Leo ♚

          Good news! Glyphosate breaks down rapidly.

      • Serai 1

        You sure seem to have a hard-on for that stuff.

        • ♚ King Leo ♚

          Yeah, weird how I believe in science and not conspiracy theories.

          • Serai 1

            No, funny how you’re completely tone deaf and don’t realize what a dick you’re being.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            How am I being a dick by not believing baseless claims? Why are you not HAPPY to learn that we’re not doing damage to the environment? At what point did being liberal become being anti-evidence?

      • azeyote

        and water is even faster – you sound like a candidate for Trumps new FDA deregulation crew

        • ♚ King Leo ♚

          Yes, anyone that doesn’t buy into your pseudoscience conspiracy theory MUST be right wing

          there could not be any other explanation

          • azeyote
          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            And?

          • azeyote
          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            So nothing.

          • azeyote

            maybe you work for Monsanto

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            maybe you’re an anti-vaxxer

          • azeyote

            my mom died of polio so no –

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            weird because IT TURNS OUT I AM NOT A NEO-NAZI LIKE YOUR FIRST POST ACCUSED ME OF BEING WHAT WITH MOST OF MY FAMILY BEING KILLED BY HITLER

            still don’t see why you think you can abuse me into believing your fake science bullshit

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            and if you’re not an anti-vaxxer, WHY ARE YOU SPREADING THEIR ARGUMENTS YOU UTTER DIPSHIT

          • azeyote

            thanks for letting me know that Roundup is a vaccine – and your use of Caps is so forceful – you of course must be right about everything – maybe you could make them even bigger so they could be the biggest and most right of all comments – i apologize for raining on your Roundup parade

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Right, right, you’re just flatly rejecting a DIFFERENT bit of science you don’t like, and telling everyone that the scientists involved are in a DIFFERENT global conspiracy to Cover Up The Truth about the Secret Death Magic that only Pure People can detect.

            There’s no similarity at all, except that it’s identical.

            Reminder, though: you’re the dumb shit who told me I was a neo-Nazi (killed my family!) who works for Monsanto (killed my father!) for correctly stating that table salt is more toxic than Roundup. Can’t imagine why I fucking loathe you.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Remember when we had honey bees?

      • mancityRed6

        fireflies, june bugs….I literally saw only a handful of each last summer.

        • Shanzgood

          The June bugs all beached themselves in my kitchen windowsills between the windows and the screens. And then the ants came for their carcasses. It was brutal. The fireflies were smarter and stayed in the fields.

          • snark-lurker

            sad

      • snark-lurker

        bumble beez & tadpoles & frogs

      • II Gosala

        FAKE NEWS!!1!!1!

      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        We… still do? Honey bees are in no danger whatsoever, and Roundup is a herbicide.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          You seem very fond of Roundup.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            It’s ridiculously less toxic than the herbicides it replaces. And I despise conspiracy theories and fake science.

          • Jonny On Maui

            How ’bout you live down wind while we burn cane crops soaked in the stuff. Got a study on what breathing that does?

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            “Chemicals bad!!! CHEMICALS!!!!!”

            Jesus.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’ll ask again. Do you have a study on the effects on humans of breathing Roundup that has been burned and inhaled?

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Do you have one that says there’s any danger? I bet you do not.

          • Serai 1

            Good gods. You’re really digging yourself a hole here.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            I actually do have a study on inhalation. It produces a bad taste in your mouth. That’s it, that’s the danger. What hole am I digging by asking if there’s any basis for inventing a fake danger?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Do you have any links?

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            None that aren’t behind a paywall. There’s this though:
            https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15862083

            Conclusion: not particularly toxic, no real environmental risks.

            The reason you even think it’s an issue is because a large, ruthless, unethical corporation faked some (at least three) scientific papers. I’m talking, of course, about Whole Foods.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Inhalation of just Roundup or inhalation of the combustion byproducts?

            I haven’t been able to find one. Nor can any of the families here that have been exposed. I guess we should follow your model and just assume that Monsanto is telling the truth, since there doesn’t seem to be any data.

            And don’t get me wrong. I could be a poster boy for “Better Living Through Chemistry”. Just show me the data.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            “MONSANTO!!!!1111” is not an argument.

            Let me be perfectly clear, here: Monsanto killed my father. Agent Orange, you know. I have absolutely no love for that company.

            That DOES NOT JUSTIFY MAKING UP SCIENCE.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m not making up science. I’m asking for the science. There’s no data on the effect of inhaling the combustion byproducts of Roundup. I think there should be before there is the blanket response that there’s no problem.

            And I’m sorry about your dad.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            There are literally one million more pressing environmental issues; we don’t need to invent a new one based on nothing at all. At this point, the overwhelming scientific consensus is that health impact from glyphosate exposure is minimal. On the other hand, if we stopped using it and all other modern agricultural techniques, we’d need twice as much farmland, half the population would die, and the other half would spend their shortened lives working as farmers.

            The reason you think there’s even a problem is that the cynical fucks who market organic farming produce want to make more money and don’t care about the planet.

          • Jonny On Maui

            No, the reason I think there may be a problem is that whole populations of folk right here on this island have been exposed to something they are told is safe with no scientific research or evidence to back up that claim.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Literally everyone on the planet has been exposed to (etc etc).

            There’s a standard way to measure toxicity (LD), and glyphosate is less toxic than – like I said already – table salt. Or aspirin, or caffeine, for that matter. It also breaks down very fast; if you’re burning crops more than a month after spraying then this whole conversation is basically moot.

            In short: don’t drink it and wash your vegies, and you aren’t going to get any noticeable exposure. And when someone tells you it “can be detected in breastmilk” or similar, tell them they are repeating fake information from a fake corporate (Whole fucking Foods again, if I recall correctly) study that nobody has ever replicated.

            Ask yourself: do you want to do something about saving the planet, or do you want to find something that Monsanto is guilty of so they can be punished? If it’s the latter, you’d be better off aiming at Dow Chemicals and whoever else it was that bought the chemical manufacturing parts of Monsanto, because what’s left under that brand isn’t that segment of the company in any case.

            In the meantime, there are – as I also said – around ONE MILLION more important issues with pollutants that we KNOW cause genuine health and environmental problems. It’s fine to be skeptical, but we really don’t need to invent new problems based on feelings rather than data.

          • Jonny On Maui

            If they were burning months after, I’d have no problem. They’re not. And sure, there’s a million other problems. This is and was happening in my back yard for a long time. All issues are local.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Again, why is this a problem with glyphosate?
            You absorb more crap from car exhausts every day, and that causes quite REAL and measurable health effects.

          • Jonny On Maui

            As I’ve tried to explain, it’s not a problem with glyphosate, it’s the burning of the stuff right after it’s applied. There’s no data, yet the practice continues. Would you like your kids exposed repeatedly? That’s what is happening. If there’s no risk, fine. There’s no data. Risk can’t be determined. That’s my problem.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Why are farmers spraying for weeds then burning? Why have no studies ever shown health effects from this exposure? Why do you care about this more than REAL PROBLEMS like pollution from cars?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Because it is a real problem here on this island. That’s why I care. They burn the cane fields right before harvesting. Burning must be done under the right weather conditions. If those conditions mean burning right after spraying, then that’s what they do. They don’t give a shit about the families downwind cuz it’s ‘safe’.

            All I’m asking is that they prove it.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            And that’s terrible – smoke inhalation is bad for you. Why not worry about that the ACTUAL REAL DAMAGE FROM THAT, and try to get burning off done in more sensible conditions, instead of spreading pseudoscience? Whether the farmer sprayed weed-killer or not is utterly irrelevant.

            Stop. Spreading. Fake. Science.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Also, as I said, there have in fact been studies of exactly this.

          • Serai 1

            *yawn* You really don’t hear yourself, do you? Whatever, dude.

          • ♚ King Leo ♚

            Why do this? Why reject scientific fact?

    • Jamoche

      Or making immigrant kids pick fruit covered with a pesticide the EPA has already banned: http://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/327449-groups-sue-over-epa-pesticide-decision

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    There he goes again:

    Trump says he still wants to tackle healthcare before moving on to tax reform

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/328391-trump-i-want-to-do-healthcare-before-tax-reform

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      I’m sure Jared is up to the task.

      • Shoto

        Jared’s got some slack time, right?

      • Doug Langley

        Boy, if you thought Jared was mad at Bannon . ..

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        I wouldn’t put that fucking little snot in charge of my dry cleaning.

    • Shanzgood

      He still wants his inauguration attendance to be higher than the protest marches, too.

      YOU LOST. GET OVER IT.

      • Jamoche

        I’d prefer YOU LOST. NOW QUIT.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I’d prefer go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect 200 (*insert random number of extra zeroes here*)

          • Shanzgood

            Good point.

      • Crank Tango

        Yeah but his impeachment hearings are going to get bigly yooge ratings.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Bigger than the Superbowl

    • II Gosala

      Good. Let him waste his time on something that ain’t going nowhere.

      Keeps him from doing damage elsewhere

      • puredog

        Sounds likely on its face, but I would hate to think that someone whispered in his ear “we found a way to thread that needle” and that health care might actually go somewhere.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Tackle healthcare? Didn’t they just get a personal foul flag and fifteen yards for unnecessary roughness to healthcare?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Ryan was even ejected from the game. But apparently he’s raring to get back in there!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      RED CARD!

  • Me not sure

    The sad fact is that no matter how stupid Sean Spicer gets Donny still doesn’t appear to be any brighter by comparison. How the fuck is that possible?

    • Jonny On Maui

      It’s a hyperbolic function…

      • weejee

        Perhaps hyperboilic and needs lancing?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Donnie’s intellect is like a dying candle, a tiny flame guttering out in a pool of grease. Hard to make that appear “bright,” no matter what you compare it to.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      He almost makes you miss that guy who was Bush’s press sec – the one who got dick cancer (can’t be bothered to look his name up, but you know the one)

  • Panika MCD

    you know that scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark where they’re taking the Ark of the Covenant down to storage in the Smithsonian? apparently that’s supposed to be JUST TERRIBLE…

    help me?

    • Well, the white house has access to the entire Smithsonian catalogue for decorating…

      • WotsAllThisThen

        That thing would make a great beer cooler for events on the south lawn, don’t you think?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Based upon its face-melting powers, I’d probably use it as a BBQ grill.

    • II Gosala

      Something, something; burying the truth.

      Have you seen Warehouse 13?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’m knitting an escape line as fast as I can!

    • marxalot

      I dunno, I think that’s NARA not the Smithsonian. Probably College Park, MD, which is where the Reichsarchiv ended up after the war, and if we did take the Ark, it’s probably still in there.
      /archivist

      • Panika MCD

        that helps me understand this witness’ metaphor in no way at all. it just makes it more confusing.

        • marxalot

          Sorry.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s alright. it was a dumb metaphor.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “Top men!”

    • weejee

      Perhaps something from here – Wonket the Raiders of the Lost Snark.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8276286568971fc2cc91872b13e2d75287fbab4420608a7f6938777b40a8d9ed.jpg

  • laineypc

    He’s probably really sad that all this Jew stuff has detracted from his main point, that Assad is worse than Hitler and therefore whatever it takes to get him out will be justified, including large losses of life. That’s all he was trying to say.

    • Crank Tango

      It is too bad when the jew stuff gets in the way of saying someone is worse than Hitler.

  • Ezio

    Surprise! Alex Jones is trying to rationalize what Spicer said by saying he was being “sarcastic”.

    • Dafuq does Alex Jones know from rational?

      • AJ Milne

        Logically, therefore, we must assume Alex Jones has been ‘sarcastic’ his entire life…

        I… have my sarcastic moments myself. But I still think this would be tiring.

      • not_vh

        rofl!!! stop it it hurts in my tummy. hahahaha.

      • weejee

        Alex is giving us the foreskinny on this.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Well that settles it for me, since everyone knows that Alex Jones is an unimpeachable source of reason and logic.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Well, Alex Jones is in the White House press corps ….

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I let Alex Jones tell me how to feel about everything, and get all my science from anonymous internet white supremacists.

        • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

          Doubtless a sound policy. Beats going to church, anyway…

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            If I’m looking for white supremacist dudes who think they know everything, or people grifting by peddling falsehoods, the first place I’m heading is a church back home!

    • Vecchioivan

      Sarcastic. Yeah. Right,

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Why is everyone’s excuse always sarcasm or “I was making a joke!”? That just changes the weirdness to you thought it was an OK thing to take lightly.

      • Little Doll

        The Deflection of the Sociopathic.

  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    This is a bigger Shonda that the year I accidentally served ham with a shrimp and cheddar sauce for Hanukkah. Oy vey!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Will I go to hell for laughing out loud?

        • Bill D. Burger

          Nahhhh!

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            But I have so many friends there.

        • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

          I think it’s called Sheol.

      • Little Doll

        A former boss of mine, who happens to be Jewish, said he would pray over the pork products so that wouldn’t happen: “Ham, be lamb. Amen.”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I once brought a cheesecake to a seder!

      • Crank Tango

        I brought pork rinds to a bris!

  • Goposaur

    “I will get *crazy* up in here! You like movies? We’ll make a movie! We’ll make “Mama Say Knock You Out” starring my fist and your dick hole!”

    Fuck everyone associated with this administration, fuck them all. They can all DIAF as far as I care, but unfortunately, they’re too incompetent to even get that right.

  • Nick Scroggs

    So to sum up. Sean Spicer, in the course of a single day, answered a question with Godwin’s law, implied that a dictator was worse than Hitler, didn’t realize he was saying super-vague holocaust denial stuff, put out THREE clarifications, called concentration camps “Holocaust centers’ and “population centers”, and while trying to clear up what he meant, slipped and said Trump planned to “destabilize the region”. All on the first full day of Passover.

    • ♚ King Leo ♚

      AND he still has a job.

      You can’t leave out that part.

      • jesterpunk

        He might even get promoted for that, Trump’s counter terrorism Nazi might need an assistant.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        You can’t explain that.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        That he makes $180,000 a year doing. Also very important.

      • Doug Langley

        While I can’t buy myself a job. So long, will to live.

      • Vel Venturi

        I think Spicey should get back in that bunny outfit and get ready for the Easter egg roll. Get on it, bunnyboy! Them Peeps ain’t gonna hide themselves!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    OT Nice time:
    This is Sweden: how a democracy responds to terror. (Daily Kos)

    ni kan inte kuva oss
    ni kan inte styra våra live
    ni kommer aldrig att vinna
    . . .
    Ta hand om varandra
    Tillsammans ska vi ta hand om Sverige

    You can not subjugate us
    You can not control our lives
    you will never win
    . . .
    Take care of each other
    Together we will take care of Sweden.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      More nice times. And thoughts are free!

      https://youtu.be/YVc0wBLri1A

    • not_vh

      us = oss
      våra = our
      varandra is prolly ‘ourselves’ translated as each other
      tillsammans = tillerson
      vi = we
      ska vi = we will
      live = lives
      hand = care
      ta = take
      kuva = subjugate
      vinna = win
      and so on…

    • Brendan_M

      Skoal!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Seems to me that Sean Spicer is in his own version of “Liar, Liar.” Does anyone know if his daughter recently had a birthday and what she wished for?
    http://i.imgur.com/25cmP6Y.gif

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    It was offline.

    It was unplugged.

    I had an air gap between it and the internet.

    It didn’t matter.

    The loud bang scared the crap out of me when one of the circuit breakers in my Bechtel Corporation Military Strategic Irony Meter blew a half an hour ago. These circuit breakers are the size of a Mini Cooper and have to be partially disassembled in order to be reset. A team from General Dynamics comes out to do the resetting operation.

    How in the actual fuck Alex Jones was able to trip a breaker on my irony meter when it’s not even plugged in is a mystery to me. I have a team working on this phenomenon. Yet Alex managed to do it. That bastard!

    • AJ Milne

      Pro-tip:

      Next time, bury it in the bottom of a nickel mine in Sudbury.

      It may still blow. But at least we’ll have proved the existence of the elusive Higgs Derpon.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yes, my investigators are excited as they may be headed for Nobel territory with the discovery of the Higgs Derp Guage Field. It seems to involve physics that is intimately coupled with the mechanism used by Irony Meters to detect irony.

        • AJ Milne

          … even… dare we hope: a Unified Derp Theory.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            It seems paradoxical given that people with high degrees of derp tend to be disunifiers in a political/social/organizational sense.

          • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

            But they’re definitely entangled, which is what we’re going for here. There’s no information in them, but well, waddaya gonna do?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            They definitely practice a great deal of “goofy action at a distance”, though.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            This is my theory.
            There are many like it.
            But this one is mine…

          • Serai 1

            About the brontosaurus?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Neutrino libel!

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          It might turn out that Higgs Derpons are almost identical to what one would expect if there existed a type of neutrino that had a negative imaginary integer spin number. This may explain Sphincter’s dismal attempts at spinning shit.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            “negative imaginary integer spin number”

            Bonus angular momentum for “imaginary”.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Well, you see, demonstrated by sufficient amounts of quaternion maths that an imaginary angular momentum could conceivably be used to generate linear momentum without using mass displacement. Or something like that, anyway. I am an old, this is stuff for young wizards.

          • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

            So when you square it, it’s STILL negative?
            Mind. Blown.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            This sounds suspiciously close to math.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeahbut, I absolutely lurve maths.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No shame in that. But I was told there would be no math.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Somebody hit you with an imaginary truth. It really sucks when that happens.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yes. Yes it does.

          • I suspect this may have some connection to Lie Groups

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Indeed. That and Spin Lattices, also too.

          • Sophus Lie is so obviously a J K Rowling character name

      • Dg Hacket

        Infinitely dense and negative in nature

        • AJ Milne

          Up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom… and WTF.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Would that be a power bottom quark?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I am excited to announce the existence of a new property called crout.

            It is mediated by particles called croutons.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            And the moronic force is mediated by trumpons.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I tried real hard for a few seconds but was unable to reply with a comment that involved tampons.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That describes several of my relatives, actually.

    • Picabo

      Next time try a Faraday cage.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faraday_cage

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I forgot to add that important components are shielded. But not with aluminum foil. This is a Cold War era machine and no expense was spared. There is a lot of gold foil in there. I’m pretty sure a nuclear-level EMP strike would not hurt it at all. Irony, on the other hand…

        • Ωbjectifier

          Better check the vacuum tubes.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            But enough about the Trump family.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeah, I had to fire a tech who was replacing the vacuum with farts. We all got a big laugh out of that and I hired him back.

      • Jennifer R

        I prefer a bondage cage.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Covalent bondage or ironic?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            ISWYDT!

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Can those be made with tinfoil?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Go home, Spicey. You’re drunk.

    • Little Doll

      He wishes. On both counts.

      • AJ Milne

        I, on the other hand am definitely drunk.

        … It’s not helping.

        • Little Doll

          Well, that sucks!

          Since I cannot drink the alcohols any more, you may have to drink for me, also, too.

          • Rasilom

            I will help you with that. Send me some.whiskey or gin and I will get started right now.

  • Suse
  • lucidamente
  • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

    Ta da!

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      Still want a new pic, though, the one I wanted was over 5 megs.

      • not_vh

        i faced this issue yesterday. wanted to post a pic from my phone-va and discus yelled back – what do you think iyou are a picasso? keep it under 5 megs will ya.

        too lazy to comply.

      • Serai 1

        ezgif.com

        There’s an optimizer for .jpgs there. Takes approximately 1 minute to get your pic to 5 mgs. I do it all the time with .gifs.

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      You is wedded? Molotov!

  • memzilla Ω
  • lucidamente

    Why is this gaffe different from all other gaffes?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      FTW!

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Spicer: “This is my gaffe. There are many others like it, but this one is mine!”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        If only he could effectively shoot himself in the foot with his gaffe.

  • The Librarian

    I would like to say “Stick a fork (with votes) in Spicer, he’s done”, however I’m not sure that will actually happen. Wishful thinking……….

    • not_vh

      he’s not done. infact he prolly earned credit.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Agreed. There was a time when something like this would have destroyed a career. Those times seems to be behind us.

        • not_vh

          We left that country long long time ago.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I would have the crowd stand way back before you pop that zit.

  • BrendaKay

    Did y’all already discuss this gem today? Caught the end of Marketplace in the car…Trump brags about creating over 600,000 jobs already…. if you read the job reports, we’ve created around 300,000 since he took office. I love Kai Ryssdal.

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      And the job adds are at about the same pace as the last year or more, so BFD, Drumpf.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      About half those jobs were in January report so either Trump was very busy in first 10 days, or those go on Obama’s scoreboard.

      Within the jobs report, you’ll find 300 coal mining jobs have been created bringing the industry total to around 50,300.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Great. Toss out 50 years worth of environmental protections for 300 coal mining jobs. We’d be better off just writing them a check.

        • SayItWithOtters

          Our grandchildren would certainly think so.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Holy Fuck. Let’s see, the innocent Syrians that have been gassed ca ‘t come here, but the Jews aren’t even considered innocent? WTF. These people neec to go.

  • Red Bird Ω

    OT/ I’m back on the exercise program. Did something yesterday that resulted in a strained back today. Anyway, today is leg day. Don’t want to look like Jared.

  • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

    oh yes i did

  • Ωbjectifier

    This is how it goes
    This is how it is
    This is how it will be
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egnuKspNBAU

  • Vincent Ricola

    Somewhere right now, Steve Bannon is dribbling Vodka on his shirt and trying to balance a bowl of Doritos on his stomach, all while cackling in glee.

    Ugh. This whole administration is such a shit show.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Did. Not. Need. That. Image.

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      Does he try to keep the Doritos away from the draining pus, or no?

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Allow me to translate from Alt-Right/Republican to English: “Hitler had a lot of good ideas that no one talks about because the goddamn Jews (and the queers and other losers) have been pissing and moaning about getting ’rounded up’ and ‘murdered’ forever. All these years we’ve had to listen to all their fake news/pc bullshit about ‘ovens’ and ‘death camps’ when in reality they were treated fairly well. I mean, people die in wars – get over it.

    Now is our moment, and we can finally remind the world that Hitler wasn’t so bad compared with Isis and Assad, who we are totally going to wipe off the map with our awesome, unpredictable Big White Boss Man ballsack swagger that totally works on contractors and real estate types (who are some tough hombres, believe me). I cannot wait to finally stand up to those liberal, pc goons and tell the truth!!!”

    “You’re welcome, and Happy Chanukah-whatever-the-hell-weird-shit you people believe in!”

  • hendenburg2
    • AJ Milne

      It’s seriously like some kinda exponential growth thing is happening here….

      Maybe we’ve reached some critical mass of stupid.

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      “At least I got chicken.”

  • SayItWithOtters
    • Claire

      Jesus, that Carter Page dude. If I were Putin, that idiot would be at the bottom of the East River wearing galoshes made of votes by now.

      Why does Russia hire such fucking stupid people to be their spies? Don’t they have any self-respect? No, that’s a real question. I get realpolitik and all that, but, just… don’t they have any dignity? I would rather be a second-rate country in the house of my God than have to depend on fourth-rate morons to do my intel work for me.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I wish I had any faith whatsoever that Trump would do what literally ANY OTHER PRESIDENT would do and show him the fucking door, but considering this is a man who admitted to sexual assault on a hot mic and said, meh, may as well hold out until the election, I could totally still win, I don’t think Spicey’s going anywhere.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Assad is worse than Hitler. But still no refugees can come here.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Which was pretty much US policy during the 1930’s/40s

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        In the 1930s, public opinion polls shows substantial opposition to Jewish refugee immigration. During the war, as facts of genocide emerged, opinion changed. By the end of the war, the public supported Jewish immigration.
        https://twitter.com/HistOpinion/status/666412991500255232

        In contrast, today public opinion supports Syrian refugee immigration. To be specific, 61% oppose Trump’s refugee ban.

        • Claire

          Never forget! Unless you’re irrationally terrified of the scary brown people under the bed, in which case, fuck them. White Middle America’s need to feel constantly safe in their trailer parks is much more important than taking in refugees from mass slaughter.

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        Irony is that the blockers went by America First back then too.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      How America’s rejection of Jews fleeing Nazi Germany haunts our refugee policy today

      Desperate people, fleeing a terrifying, bloodthirsty regime, try to find refuge in the US. But the American government and the public don’t want to accept them. They worry that accepting refugees would put citizens at risk, and they don’t see the refugee crisis as their problem to fix. So they are turned away.

      This is what President Donald Trump is about to sign America up for, if widespread reports are correct that he’s on the verge of signing an executive order that would ban all refugees from settling in the US for 4 months and ban Syrian refugees indefinitely.

      We’ve been here before.

      http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/1/27/14412082/refugees-history-holocaust

    • AJ Milne

      Those who learn from history only that the passengers of the MS St. Louis got to cruise the Atlantic _twice_, those lucky bastards.

    • notaten

      We didn’t let people fleeing Hitler in either, so, consistency at least? Jesus Fucking Christ these fucking people!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        If only they would just stop fucking.

        We don’t need any more of them.

    • Serai 1

      We didn’t want the Jewish refugees either.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Count Awesome

      Pence looks drunk in that photo so it begs the question if his wife was with him at the event.

      • BoziSpicer

        Pence never said he had any problems drinking with the “boys”. He probably wakes up occasionally with a penis drawn on his face with a Sharpie.

        • Count Awesome

          I understood that he does not drink if his wife was not with him to avoid the temptations of being away.

      • Me not sure

        …and did Bentley hit on her?

    • Roadstergal

      I’m not saying all pasty old white men in suits are out to fuck me over, but it does seem to be mostly pasty old white men in suits when I’m getting seriously fucked over.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Never be left alone with a pasty old white man touting “family values”.

        That’s what I always say!

        • Count Awesome

          That and avoid vans with wood panels over the window with “Free Candy” spray painted on the side.

  • HazooToo

    This is my favorite thing to read when I’m feeling done with shit. http://i.imgur.com/g19vTEt.jpg

  • Picabo

    Eric Eyre of Charleston Gazette-Mail, Charleston, WV won the Pulitzer prize
    For courageous reporting, performed in the face of powerful opposition, to expose the flood of opioids flowing into depressed West Virginia counties with the highest overdose death rates in the country.

    Drug firms poured 780M painkillers into WV amid rise of overdoses – See more at: http://www.wvgazettemail.com/news-health/20161217/drug-firms-poured-780m-painkillers-into-wv-amid-rise-of-overdoses#sthash.b9ULtV4Q.dpuf

    http://www.wvgazettemail.com/news-health/20161217/drug-firms-poured-780m-painkillers-into-wv-amid-rise-of-overdoses

    • II Gosala

      Meh, druggies and drug dealers. Bad people. Lock ’em up and throw away the key.

      Hey! It worked for the Crack epidemic….jus’ sayin’

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Well, there’s the don’t bother with Narcan contingent — just let them die when they OD.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I made a comment earlier about corporate CEO’s being sociopaths. I obviously understated things.

  • Count Awesome

    I’d like to shove (with votes) a giant plastic Easter egg filled with sarin gas (with even more votes) into Spicer’s piehole.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I think an Easter Bunny butt plug would fit pretty well in Sphincter’s hole.

      ETA: Or an Energizer Bunny?

      • Count Awesome

        An unwashed buttplug would be ideal.

      • Jennifer R

        Pretty sure bad-dragon could accommodate.

        I would suggest The Tentacle, but it isn’t a first timer toy.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          He pulls so much stuff out of there, I’m sure he’ll be fine.

          • Jennifer R

            I had an impossible time trying to find a hardness for the large one.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω
        • BoziSpicer

          Please let them use lead paint.

    • aktlib101

      There is a Trump buttplug and a Putin buttplug for these purposes, different colors available. I think.

    • Crank Tango

      I guess that explains why he is still around–they can’t fire him until Easter because he is wearing the bunny suit under his clothes.

  • Jenny

    Schindler’s List was recently added to Netflix.

    I debated showing to my elementary age kids but the crap on the internet, the anti semitism appearing in online games, and the shitty administration in office, in my mind is no worse than the truth.

    They lost interest on the talking and parties (I know right), but dammit you kids better pay attention to the callous cruelty on display here. And they did.
    The kids leaving in the truck from the internment camp. They know now, that could have been them. It could still be them.

    It’s not a joke, or funny, dammit. Anyone who denies, or just conveniently forgets this happened should rot from the inside out.

    • Jennifer R

      My school flipped its shit when my 6th grade social studies teacher and another history teacher wanted to take us to see it in theaters.

      • Jenny

        I didn’t see it until freshman year but it was probably a year after release. Honestly, I had read every book, encyclopedia, and memoir of the holocaust before that, so the movie didn’t hit me like it hit others. I had already seen the images and heard the stories. :/

    • TJ Barke

      We watched selected episodes of band of brothers in high school, and the teacher made sure the concentration camp episode was shown.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I think it should be required viewing around 8th or 9th grade, personally.

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        maybe a special viewing for a 40-something in the WH too.

        • BlissfulScribbler

          He’d shut it off after 15 minutes went by with the characters not talking about his presidency.

    • not_vh

      i dont have kids, and so i keep up with my nieces and nephews and other kids of my family and friends. Compared to me at their age, kids these days are more sensitive, aware and smarter than even their parents realize.

      This weekend we had a fairly involved discussion about why history and social studies is important with one set of niece and nephew. They totally get it.

      Kids these days are smart.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I have found that to be true of the shark pups. As high school students, they are more aware of world events than I was at that age. The internet has brought a lot of information to them from outside the US. This is a good thing.

        Maybe that’s why the older Americans are struggling. They don’t look at or read anything from outside their sphere, even though it is available to them.

        • grindstone

          We reviewed the day’s events with our kid last night at dinner. His first comment was, “Holocaust, duh?? And mustard gas???” His next comment was, “Huh, I’m smarter than the press secretary.” I did not feel any need to correct him.

      • Jenny

        While we watched this my son told me that kids play Nazi vs Americans at recess. There is one boy who insists that German nazi’s weren’t that bad.

        After watching SL, the son said Mom, the nazi boy is wrong. I won’t play that game anymore.
        I had no idea it was so sad.

        Is our childrens learning?! Maybe!

    • Puck

      Been meaning to watch Night Will Fall, although I doubt that’s something that could be shown in school. HS maaaaybe I guess. Tried watching it a while back and just couldn’t.

    • TootsStansbury

      It should never be forgotten. I was “blessed” to have a social studies teacher who was among the US liberators of the camps. He was very graphic in sharing his experience; I’m scarred for life, I don’t know what it will take for it to hit home for the youngsters.

    • Ms.Moon

      We saw Schindler’s list in high school social studies class we had a day set aside to watch it.

  • sosuume
    • tapp_my_wire,please

      In front of Ryan is Ashley Parker from WAPO. She’s pretty good at smithing words … tomorrow’s edition should be good.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    HEY! Wait a minute!

    Isn’t there an election today?

    • Jennifer R

      In Kansas. In most years a good showing for that district would be D -20.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I actually did some “virtual” phone banking. Never did that before … for real or over the internet.

        ★★★★★ Interesting experience, would recommend.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Just how low is the bar for Trump now?

    https://twitter.com/juliehdavis/status/851750710723178498

    • Count Awesome

      He’s a limbo champion.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        The suspense in D.C. is palpable: Can Trump pull off the Easter Egg hunt?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Excellent! We’re not sure the White House staff can organize an Easter Egg party, but they’re in charge of the whole country! What could possibly go wrong?

    • Jamoche
  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I’m old enough to remember the folks who ran the local Five and Dime on Main Street in my small, North Jersey town when I was a little kid. They were very quiet, and some parents told their kids not to go in there.

    They still had the numbers tattooed on their arms

    • There was a similar store near my grandmother’s house, except the little old couple were both blind as well.

      My fat, spoiled cousin used to try to steal from them.

      He’s RICH now!

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Holy hell that’s an awful story.

        • There are lots of ‘funny’ stories about what a selfish little bastard he was as a kid.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Trump is your cousin?

        • Sorta.

          Whenever there’s a family event (including funerals) he tells his mom to have it arranged around his schedule, and then doesn’t show up.

          We were buddies as kids. The last few times I’ve spoken to him I’ve managed insulted him despite trying not to do so. He doesn’t seem to mind who he offends.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Of course not. It’s the fault of whomever he offends for being overly sensitive and not rich.

  • Persistent Demme

    I think it says a lot that the term “concentration camp” was not at the front of his mind, and that “Holocaust Center” was.
    Does he also confuse “killing a few people” with “genocide?”

    Is “Holocaust Center” (or “Centre” if you’re Canadian) a thing with the KKK or Nazis or something?

    • The general RW view is that the genocide didn’t happen so they avoid calling the camps death camps.

      • Persistent Demme

        It’s the “general RW view?”
        I thought it was just the extremists!
        I knew the inmates were running the asylum, but DAMN!

    • FlownΩver

      It’s the new sports arena Marine LePen plans to build in Paris. She sold the naming rights to the Klan.

    • Claire

      It sounds like he was getting concentration camps confused with Jewish community centers, so maybe he mistook “killing people” for canasta or something.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I would not try too hard to get inside Sphincter’s head.

      Here be derpy dragons!

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    So United also bumps first class passenger who paid full fare for “higher status” passenger: http://www.latimes.com/business/lazarus/la-fi-lazarus-united-low-priority-passenger-20170412-story.html

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      United bumps a lot. American is almost as bad. Still, your chances of being involuntarily bumped are lower than 1%.

      Fly a couple hundred times, though, and it’s definitely happening :)

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I know bumpng happens, but choosing someone who paid full first class fare at the last minute for someone of a higher status seems stupid in a business sense.

    • Claire

      Jesus take the wheel. I’m starting to think they just like fucking with their customers more than they like money, which is a really, really stupid position for a company to take.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Holocaust Center is the new Abortionplex.

    • Claire

      Is the food court as nice, though? The one in the Abortionplex has a P. F. Chang’s.

  • Panika MCD

    so I’ve noticed this thing about the conspiracy theorists that Sen. Bettencourt brings to the TX lege–they always interrupt Sen. West when he’s asking them questions and are extremely rude to him. I’ve got an inkling of why, but what’s your theory?

    p.s. yes I am withholding information, but it’s not like I’m denying you the googles machine.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Without knowing any of the backstory, Imma ask a question. Does Sen. West look like he could be closely related to B. Barry Bamz?

      • Panika MCD

        he doesn’t to me, but they do both look like they originated from the same continent if that’s what you’re asking.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I googled after posting, and I’m sure, to a certain group of people, they might as well be twins.

  • not_vh

    OT. i wonder what the sweet spot of login to wonkette is. i kind of catch on west coasters like fukui, jenny et al, when they are about to say good night. but they are night owls. given my early bird timings most folks west coast cannot be synced with.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      24/7/365. PERIOD!

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Some of us haven’t slept since Jan 20

        • vivian

          1853

      • not_vh

        *smacks forehead* well duh!!

    • Charon_69

      I’ve been curious just how many time zones the Wonketariat covers

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Well, we know we have somebody who claims to be from Denmark, others scattered around Europe, lotsnlots in N. America, Jonny keeping watch on the Pacific, and posters who say they’re in Oz and Nippon. Assuming they’re where they say, that means we have . . . all of them that don’t include Russia? And probably some of those that do, when certain trolls show up.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      You require real time? Cuz some conversations go on for days.

  • Jamoche

    Cry moar:
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/us/article/Charging-Bull-sculptor-accuses-NYC-of-violating-11066506.php

    ‘Charging Bull’ sculptor accuses NYC of violating his rights

    The Italian-born sculptor says the presence of “Fearless Girl” infringes on his own artistic copyright to the “Charging Bull,” by changing the creative dynamic to include the other bold presence.

    “changing the creative dynamic”. Ya think?

    • Panika MCD

      he’s just jelly that everyone would rather be photographed with Fearless Girl.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Nobody likes an artistic WATB.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Donald repeals Godwin’s Law and asks if we can move on.

    • I’m waiting for him to ask Ryan to work on repealing Newton’s and Asimov’s laws

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        They’re all Chinese hoaxes

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Hey, I’m all for that! Let them pass a law to repeal Newton’s Laws. I would just love to get a video of their faces when all of the satellites (both artificial and natural) go shooting off into space the instant Trump signs it into law. Or just stop moving altogether.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Heard NPR double down on their “why we refuse to use the word ‘liar’ describing Donald Trump”, and their snotty little lecture about it they gave to Masha Gessen last week. They went to great lengths to proclaim that they are not part of any “partisan opposition”, but are committed to being “balanced”. Fuck me. Yeah, don’t worry about that. Stating what is demonstrably obvious doesn’t make you a partisan, but refusing to do so makes you a bunch of spineless, toadying lickspittles, hoping to curry favor with a sociopathic demagogue in exchange for a few table scraps. Good luck with that.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Hope all NPR’s above the fray position doesn’t affect their paychecks or even jobs soon.

      • TootsStansbury

        I hope it does. I swear those morning edition people dress up in Pepe the Frog make up and MAGA hats. Grrrrrrrr.

    • C4TWOMAN

      At what point do we call Nazi apologists and fascists what they are? I guess a better question might be, at what point would NPR think it IS acceptable to call a spade a spade?
      And reporting FACTS is being balanced. If one side wants to try to operate so far out of reality it looks “partisan”, that’s on them. We have no obligation to keep up nicey appearances to accommodate their stupidity.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        They keep repeating some bullshit about the “technical” definition of a lie being a self-aware intent to deceive and do some harm in the process…then somehow manage to contort themselves into believing that isn’t a description of exactly what the fuck Trump does. They even said, “well, if someone repeats an apparent falsehood over and over, then maybe…”. I mean, FFS, off the top of my head I can think of 9 or 10 lies Trump has been repeating over and over for the last 10 years.

        • C4TWOMAN

          That was a reasonable strategy— 3 to 5 months ago. Gives him plenty of rope to hang himself.
          But at this point we have so much metaphorical rope, we could supply the shipping industry for the next century.
          What real media outlet would do, is lay “traps” for Trump and then, after giving him plenty of chances, hammer him. Mercilessly. Jesus H Christ….DO YOUR JOBS.

        • shivaskeeper

          That is a bullshit answer. That’s ever farther along the scale of lies than, “I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.”

          Fucking idiots.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Yeah, but when they are trying to make this technical definition of a lie it really looks like they are making a self-aware intentional effort to deceive and do harm by legitimizing bullshit. That makes them fucking liars as well. Fuck them sideways.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Boom! Exactly.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Did Ms Gessen annihilate them?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        She said, “when someone lies repeatedly like Trump”, they interrupted her to tell her VERY sternly that they don’t use that word. She interrupted back to ask, “But am I allowed to?”

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Brava!

    • Panika MCD

      did Masha remind them that just because reality seems to favor Democrats doesn’t mean they have to pretend to take the alternative-facts seriously?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Theories vary about the age of the universe. Scientists believe it is billions of years old; others say 6,000 years. Here at NPR, we believe both arguments are equally valid.”

        • Panika MCD

          but they don’t on that one. why would they do that here? it’s not like he’s going to change his mind on funding for PBS and NPR because they didn’t call him a liar.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They’re desperately trying to carve out some quisling, milquetoast middle ground that makes them seem reasonable and reputable. It’s pathetic.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Using “being balanced” as an excuse for not calling out bullshit is horseshit! I wouldn’t piss on these so-called urinalists if they were drowning. Or on fire.

      Don’t they make reporters with balls (figuratively speaking) anymore?

    • Count Awesome

      “Mmmm. Table scraps.”
      –NPR

    • shivaskeeper

      Either he’s a liar or he is delusional. Neither one is a rally good thing to have n a President.

    • TJ Barke

      WHEN HE LIES, IT IS ENTIRELY BALANCED TO CALL HIM A GODDAMNED LIAR!

    • h4rr4r

      This is why I stopped donating.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I just stopped my wee little monthly donation to them. Because a refusal to state the truth is not something I’m willing to pay for. Fuck ’em.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I see no tote bags in the future for you, young lady!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I stopped the donation, but am working on a letter to them to explain why. My third one still is sounding a bit shouty.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s okay to be a little shouty sometimes. I wrote them a really pointed letter…we’re playing for keeps here.

  • TootsStansbury

    Well of course. This explains everything. The Trumplings love them Nazis because they were enemies of Russia! It all makes sense now.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      oh my fucking head

  • aktlib101

    WTF is wrong with MSNBC? Why is this relevant to the issue at hand?
    “MSNBC scrambles to slime United passenger: ‘We’re working hard to confirm he had run-ins with the law’”
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/msnbc-scrambles-to-slime-united-passenger-were-working-hard-to-confirm-he-had-run-ins-with-the-law/

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      So, if this guy had run-ins with the law it would have made it okay to beat the shit out of him, after the fact? That’s just wrong.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Had an old lawyer friend say something similar about rape victims who are blamed for what they’re wearing. “Oh, her skirt’s too short? What? Do we sentence her to be raped because her skirt’s short?”

        Yeah, not how things work….

      • Claire

        According to the enablers of Fascist America, yes, that does in fact make it okay. Because he should have… well, I don’t know. Lived his entire life inside a bubble or something.

      • “Well, not as wrong as shooting him, so the cops actually did him a favor”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Maybe they should start doing pre-emptive beatings…just in case anyone has a bad thought. There’s a new sheriff in town…

      • TJ Barke

        Yep. You done wrong ever? Then you will never have recourse EVER AGAIN.

    • shivaskeeper

      Why not? He’s non white so he must have had it coming. Unless they are going to try to dispel what Dr Dao’s local paper put out. That would be a good thing.

    • Because Trayvon Martin is not the only dude with a past.

  • vivian

    Evan – shorter head: IDEA: How About Sean Spicer Shut His Fucking Mouth Forever?

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

    Y’know, it’s about time to change the nym and the av.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Clue us in on the change, King!

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Had to search for an image. Then Disqsux prolly didn’t update your view right away

  • aktlib101

    Also this:
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/donald-trumps-syria-attack-was-a-frivolous-gesture-designed-to-look-like-a-measured-response/
    “Donald Trump’s Syria attack was a frivolous gesture designed to look like a ‘measured response’”

    • I think that is giving it too much credit. It was more an attempt to distract from the clusterfuck the House investigation has become.

      Success.

      Whether this bombing of an airfield does anything or not, responding to a chemical attack with a strike is only productive when thought through. In that sense, it is more dangerous than a frivolous gesture if it was, er, a frivolous gesture

    • Crank Tango

      “Designed” may be overselling it a bit.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Intelligently”

    • Count Awesome

      It’ must have been designed by the same guy that designs Trump ties.

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Donald Trump’s Syria attack administration was a frivolous gesture designed to look like a ‘measured response’”
      FIFY

      • aktlib101

        Ha !

    • shivaskeeper

      Designed implies he has any understanding of why he ordered the missiles launched in the first place other than it looks Presidential to launch missiles at people.

  • Sheepshagger
    • MynameisBlarney

      Fuckin’ hell.

      He’s a goddamned monster.

      • h4rr4r

        Monster libels!

      • shivaskeeper

        He’s a twisted little piece of shit with a holier than thou attitude who wants to make his fake ass interpretation of God the law of the land. I’ll bet hard cash that he still thinks anyone not white suffers from the Curse of Hamm and should be subjugated to justify his racism.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      The “filth” people need to be taking a stand against have an (R) after their names, you malignant little elf.

      • h4rr4r

        Elf Libels!

        They make good cookies!

        • C4TWOMAN

          And magic rings!

          • h4rr4r

            And armor!

          • C4TWOMAN

            And snacks for those long journeys into volcanic hellscapes to “Save the World”.

          • h4rr4r

            And swords, that light up.

          • C4TWOMAN

            A Elbereth Gilthoniel FTW!

    • aktlib101

      It appears Sean Sphincter and Sessions may have a common ancestor. Related? Genetic defects?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Just when you thought he couldn’t get more vile…

    • ariel_gee_398

      Leave it to these assholes to take all the fun out of filth.

    • h4rr4r

      He plans on going after the Trump administration?
      Now that is some bold talk.

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking little fascist piglet.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I wondered what that sick smell was this morning. I could smell Sessions all the way up in Phoenix.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “be forewarned: This is a new era. This is the Trump era.”

      These are the words of a man with a very small penis.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I thought it was still the Al Franken Decade[s].

    • Red Bird Ω

      I’m sure he will also focus on the illegal immigrants that overstay tourist visas while visiting cities like, Miami and New York. ;)

    • shivaskeeper

      They have gone way past the dog whistles a while back. They are into air raid siren territory now

  • Vecchioivan

    I can’t wait to hear his views on The Negro Question.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s a trick question.

    • h4rr4r

      I hope the question is about how we can get the last president back.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Are you sure he knows about the Negro? Maybe we should ask him about the Chinaman, too.

  • EER

    “Killing babies in incubators…”?..cue bombings, of babies.

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

    It was time for a nym and av change

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Sean, hold this guy’s beer.

    Spain’s TV Network Apologizes to 600 Million After President Compares Aztecs to Nazis http://fusion.net/spains-tv-network-apologizes-to-600-m