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OK, let’s get a thing out of the way at the outset: Sean Spicer is A Idiot. So we will very charitably suggest that it’s possible that he had ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT HE WAS SAYING during his Tuesday briefing, when he suggested that this Syrian dude Assad is way worse than Hitler, because PFFFFFFT it’s not like Hitler gassed people. Wait, hold on, what? Back up. No, he just meant it was different because Assad gasses people from airplanes, whereas Hitler only did gassing at the “Holocaust Centers,” which we guess are like community centers, except for all the gassing. WAIT BACK UP AGAIN, WHAT? And of all weeks to chew his foot off on live TV and sound like a great big Holocaust denier, Spicer chose Passover week to make this fuck-up? Everybody has already made the joke, but we bet United Airlines is like “Sometimes you get reach-arounds from the strangest places!” right now.

Let’s start with Spicer’s first fuck-up, in response to a question from Fox News Radio’s John Decker:

DECKER: The alliance between Russia and Syria is a strong one. It goes back decades. President Putin has supplied personnel, he has supplied military equipment to the Assad government. What makes you think at this point that he’s going to pull back his support for President Assad and for the Syrian government right now?

SPICER: I think a couple things. You look — we didn’t use chemical weapons in World War II. You had a — someone who is despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons.

Oh, DID HE NOT? Sorry to all the Jewish people (and Kurt Vonnegut readers) out there who know the name of the chemical weapon (Zyklon B) Hitler used to gas the Jews by heart, for you must have been mistaken. Happy Passover, though!

Let’s try this again. ABC’s Cecilia Vargas asked for a clarification, and you need to watch the video, because as a Twitter-er points out, the faces of the reporters behind Vargas as Spicer tried to answer are WOW:

VARGAS: Quote, “Hitler didn’t even sink to the level of using chemical weapons.” What did you mean by that?

SPICER: I think when you come to Sarin gas, there was no — he was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Ashad (sic) is doing. I mean, there is clearly — thank you. I appreciate that. There was not — in the — he brought them into the Holocaust centers, I understand that. But I’m saying, in the way that Assad used them, where he went into towns, dropped them down to innocent, into the middle of towns, it was brought — so the use of it, I appreciate the clarification there. That was not the intent.

OK wait, hold up. First of all, were German Jews not Hitler’s “own people”? Second, is Spicer saying he was kidding and he totally gets how Hitler gassed Jews (and LGBTs and other minorities also too), but he sees a big difference between whether you take people to the Holocaust Center before you Holocaust them, or if you just do it all willy-nilly doy doy doy out of airplanes? Is that MORE WORSER? Lastly, again, “HOLOCAUST CENTERS”?

What in the name of fuck-all that is holy is he even trying to say? Time for take three, as the AP has a statement Spicer emailed to reporters, to re-clarify his clarification:

“In no way was I trying to lessen the horrendous nature of the Holocaust. I was trying to draw a distinction of the tactic of using airplanes to drop chemical weapons on population centers. Any attack on innocent people is reprehensible and inexcusable.”

After that, Spicer sent ANOTHER clarification, where he used the same words, but changed “innocent people” to “population centers,” because wait, were the Holocaust victims not innocent????

AND THEN, UNBELIEVABLY, HE CLARIFIED AGAIN, keeping “population centers,” but re-adding a thing about innocent people:

OK, no more “clarifying,” because it is time for Sean Spicer, Shut Your Fucking Mouth.

We have an idea. We think that nobody in the Trump White House, except maybe Jared and Ivanka, is allowed to say anything about Jewish people ever again. Firstly, they are all BAD AT IT. Of course, who among us doesn’t accidentally deny the Holocaust here and there, JUST KIDDING FUCKING NONE OF US ACCIDENTALLY DENY THE HOLOCAUST HERE AND THERE. That is not a thing.

This is a pattern. The Trump White House forgot to mention Jews in its statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day. (Because if you mention Jews, you have to do a whole list of other people who were killed, and it’s a well known fact that lists are TOO LONG.) Shareblue’s Tommy Christopher points out that Trump didn’t see fit to go to the White House Passover seder. Meanwhile, there is an actual Hungarian Nazi named Sebastian Gorka serving as a senior adviser, and the fucking president of the United States is basically a Nazi himself, and his name is Steve Bannon.

OH! OH! OH! Remember that time Sean Spicer picked a fight with the Anne Frank Center, because he thought they were being too whiny and refusing to acknowledge all the MANY GOOD THINGS Trump does for The Jews?

Speaking of the Anne Frank Center, they’ve officially had it:

Yeah, Spicey, it’s probably time to go. Don’t worry, we’re sure Melissa McCarthy will do a fine “Saturday Night Live” impression of whatever douchebag Trump picks as your replacement.

YOU. ARE. FIRED.

The rest of you do whatever it is you do in your OPEN THREADS.

Wonkette is MAD. Also, we are funded by readers like you! If this shit makes you MAD, click below to throw us some of your mad dollars!

[AP]

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