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It is TOTALLY a conpisracy
Also, can you prove a magical pony princess DOESN’T raise the sun every day?

It’s a given that kooks are everywhere. And there’s evidence that people who believe in one conspiracy theory are also more likely to believe in several — a phenomenon informally known as “crank magnetism.” If a secret cabal of very powerful globalists brought down the World Trade Center, faked the Sandy Hook massacre, and almost put Hillary Clinton in power, it only makes sense that they’re also hiding the truth about the moon landings, homeopathy, vaccines, and the indisputable fact that global warming is a hoax. So it should come as no surprise that when Andrew Anglin, Head Aryan In Charge at white supremacy website Daily Stormer, posted a video making fun of flat-earth “theorists” the other day, a remarkably large portion of his readers were very, very angry and upset, because after all only an idiot would believe the Jewish/Masonic/Illuminati lie that Earth is a sphere. If you don’t want your browser polluted by the direct link to the Daily Stormer forum, Wonkette pal David Futrelle has a sampling of the best stupidity over at We Hunted the Mammoth. For once, we almost feel a little bad for a Nazi for having to deal with wackaloons who are crazier than his usual run of wackaloons. Almost.

Of course, what with the Daily Stormer site being a vile hive of scum and villainy where the height of sophisticated humor is taking “JosephGoebbels” as your username, it’s hard to tell whether some comments are from earnest flat-earthers or whether they’re just kidding in a Nazi kind of way, like this one from “whitemanshame,” who explains “Fun fact, all the moon mission astronauts were satanic freemasons.” Other net-Nazis seem quite earnest indeed, like “Excalibur,” who dares other readers to show him the curvature of the Earth:

here is a challenge for all the non believers, somebody give me a picture of the earth that is not CGI

just one

Go ahead: post a picture showing the curvature of the earth, and he’ll declare it a fake. Your argument is invalid.

Then there’s “Whiteliberty,” who approaches the topic with LOGIC and FACTS:

Science is the acquisition of knowledge capable of being reproduced.

You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.

With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.

Many globe claims have been power of suggestion, reliance on authority, and black box frauds. As a thesis, flat earth is stronger in 2017 than 2007.

You can’t land on a lightning bolt. You can’t land on the “sun” or “stars” or “planets,” if they are electromagnetic plasma formations. We don’t normally deal with plasma, or understand its properties, or understand the connection between plasma and consciousness, in terms of the concept, field.

Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission.

Just to be clear: No, Newton’s third law doesn’t require a medium in order to move. Things move a lot better when they don’t have to deal with drag, like in space. Or so the CGI animations make it seem. But we liked the “sun” and “stars” and “planets”: one of those things is not like the others!

All of this sounds a heck of a lot like Rebecca’s neighbor in Los Angeles who just had a lot of questions about the Jews, like why is it that they managed to make Hitler so mad that he wanted to kill them all? If you have not read that piece, you need to go read it and learn a lot of science facts about the Jews, who also run Google and NASA so they can put cloud cover over the North Pole to hide the hole that goes through the crust and the ice to the hollow earth where the aliens live. Maybe Rebecca’s neighbor was there on the Daily Stormer message board! He might have been “3rdRicht,” who has been giving all this a lot of thought:

I only started looking into what Flat Earth theories within the last month.

1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.

Makes ya wonder, doesn’t it? Then there’s “SouthernFascist,” who isn’t quite convinced, but he certainly is open-minded about the matter, because if you believe anything THEY tell you, you might be a dupe. How’s this for an example of crank magnetism in action?

Why not? They lie about the holocaust, they lie about the bible, they lie about every single war, they constantly change history, the pretend to be part of the European diaspora, they lie about the control their banks have, they shovel race mixing propaganda down our throats, so if any of this flat earth stiff has any merit at all, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the jews were lying about that too.

In all honesty i do believe the moon landings are fake. I don’t think we can even get to the moon, nasa even admitted we cant get past the van allen belt due to radiation, so i am 100% convinced the moon landings were faked, at least the first one.

The greatest two-fer on Earth or Moon would be Buzz Aldrin punching a Nazi.

And yet he persisted:

As for flat earth, some stuff i have found is pretty interesting, there is a few things out there that have made me a bit skeptical, but until i see some concrete proof, one way or another, and not some “cgi” earth picture i don’t really care if we live on the back of a turtle, just so long as we can take back our world, whatever shape it may be.

Fortunately, cosmology doesn’t worry him too much, since it has far less effect on his life than all that race-mixing. It’s good to see someone who can figure out their priorities! Same goes for “MrBig,” who wonders why anyone even cares about such abstract knowledge anyway:

The Earth can be any shape you want it to be.

The White Genocide is still occurring.

Our race will be just as extinct no matter what the shape is.

Then there are the rationalist, science-based Nazis who find all these flat-earthers an embarrassment to the good reputation of white nationalism, like “StormCommando,” who lays out the logic and explains it just doesn’t make any sense that all of known science would be a Jewish plot, which is just silly:

What are all the thousands of photos of stars, galaxies and planets and why would they go to such extreme lengths to create such a dumb conspiracy? And why would they invent all of these apparently totally fictional satellites and go into great detail about their workings, specifications, and spend time making these elaborate and unnecessary ‘props’ in lab environments? Again, utterly stupid idea.

He could have stopped there, but of course he had to go on: you know what IS a Jewish plot? Not the shape of the world, but part of its recent history:

I can buy holocaust revisionism because that’s a conceivable lie. It’s about distorting the facts of something which already happened. But even the scale of that is enormous. And yet even so, it’s very easy with a little examination to disprove the holohoax.

So there you go. LOGIC, fuckers. Besides, as “StormCommando” pointed out elsewhere, believing in a flat earth dishonors the Nazi rocket scientists, who surely would have talked about a flat, not a round, planet if there were anything to it. Don’t you go insulting the greatest Aryan scientists of all time!

Eventually, Anglin closed the comments and posted an angry follow-up telling his readers that if anyone so much as mentions Flat Earthism again, they’ll be banned, because “Seriously though, this type of thing is just… I mean, use some common sense, guys.”

How will anyone listen to these guys about the natural genetic inferiority of the lower races if you go talking about this flat earth stuff, after all? It just ain’t scientific, while insisting the Holocaust never happened is borne out by all the evidence.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations, and we’d be left flat if it weren’t for you. Please throw some money at us via the “Donate” linky below! No checks by airmail, however. They may fall off the edge and never arrive.

[Daily Stormer via We Hunted the Mammoth]

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Lunatics. We live among lunatics.

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be bashing my head against the wall several times.

  • Crank Tango

    I don’t think the commenting rules for radicals would allow any of the things I want to say right now, so… https://media.giphy.com/media/yV5xcSTmtVPBS/giphy.gif

  • Ralph Gauer

    Well, here we go:

    White House press secretary Sean Spicer on Tuesday attempted to argue that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad was even worse than Adolf Hitler, because the German dictator “didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons.”

    The Nazis gassed millions of Jews in concentration camps.

    • JMP

      And it hasn’t even been a week since the White House was saying we should be fine with al-Asssad remaining in power, that pivot was awfully fast.

    • andyshelt

      Oh please for fuck sakes tell me that he really didn’t say that did he?

      • JohnBull

        He did. He referred to the system of camps as “The Holocaust Center,” as if it were a gift shop.

        • GoutMachine

          That’s across the food court from the Abortionplex, no?

          • Jeffery Campbell

            No, that’s Imaginarium.

          • JohnBull

            I wouldn’t know. I’ve never eaten there, for obvious reasons.

    • BrianW

      Yeah, but they were Jews, not humans, so it doesn’t count. Furthermore, said Jews weren’t armed so it wasn’t a use of weapons, per se.

      See, Nazi fuckwaffle logic is easy.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I’d like to remind everyone that this IDIOT makes $180,000 a year.

      • Brendan_M

        Take out the gum budget, that’s barely three figures!

      • goonemeritus

        Not nearly enough to stand up there and try to defend Trump. The permanent loss of credibility, the likely less than a year tenure.
        And then as if it were icing on the shit cake you would have to get yelled at by Trump for making him look bad. I wouldn’t do that job for twice that money.

    • Kakkeltje

      It must be frustrating working for the Onion right now.

      Maybe they even wrote such a headline and discarded it because it was too ridiculous.

    • Ralph Gauer

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9c17974fe3068ae83c346a67a648ff426da65ccad66d09d7ebc31fac4278bb4d.jpg

      Is he an idiot? Sure.

      That he remains employed in this role means he is a useful idiot, however, and we can assume he projects whatever it is this administration intends us to hear.

      Horrifying.

  • proudgrampa

    Stop the world. I want to get off.

    • JohnBull

      Take a left at Siberia and off you go!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Welp, since it’s a flat disk, that should be relatively easy….

      • proudgrampa

        Just walk in any direction…

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Yeah, well I read that Chemtrail fluid protects against vaccine-induced autism, so…

  • msanthropesmr

    That’s dangerous, if his readers use some common sense, they’d log off of his website and tell him to fuck off.

  • JMP

    “here is a challenge for all the non believers, somebody give me a picture of the earth that is not CGI”

    I’m pretty sure CGI didn’t exist in the late 60s and early 70s when the Apollo astronauts took a bunch of pictures of the spherical Earth while en route to the moon.

    • msanthropesmr

      No, jmp. We had the science to do CGI, but not the science to send men to the moon.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Remember those revolutionary Star Wars FX? Where do you think Lucas developed them, smarty pants?

  • Indivisible Snark Tank

    I just don’t understand their logic at all. You want to see proof that the Earth is round? Watch the next lunar eclipse… That shadow going across the face of the moon? That’s Earth’s shadow…and it’s most definitely curved, you flat-earth asshats!

    • msanthropesmr

      CGI, QED

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        How, exactly, do they CGI the moon? I mean, I’ve stood there and WATCHED it happen! But was I really watching a big TV screen???? OMFG, I’M IN THE MATRIX!!!!!

        • Boscoe

          See? it’s not so hard to understand their point of view, is it. ;P

        • GoutMachine

          Ever watch “The Truman Show”?

    • Yellerduck

      It’s a Frisbee. They’re just holding it close to the projector.

    • HogeyeGrex

      You don’t even need that. The existence of the horizon is proof enough for rational human beings. A Foucault pendulum ought to take care of anyone on the fence. This really is the hallmark of the stupidest fuckers out there.

    • puredog

      um — a flat disk is round
      might want to work on that proof

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    What, none of these guys is clever enough to come up with the user name “JosephGerbils?”

  • Zonath

    Y’know, you just gotta respect someone who’s willing to go all the way down the rabbit hole like that.

    Wait, did I say “respect”? I meant “point and laugh at”. I guess the quote attributed to Einstein (a jew!) was right about human stupidity…

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Well, ok, fine. If the earth is flat, what’s on the ‘B’ side?

    • msanthropesmr

      “Don’t fear the Reaper”

    • Nick Scroggs

      “Run Like Hell.”

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      “How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life”

    • JMP

      I say this as a middle-aged man; what’s a ‘B’ side, grandpa?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        hmmph

    • GoutMachine

      Extended mix of “Hey Jude” with extra backmasking.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Think dirtier. . .

        • The Wanderer

          It’s Hard to Say ‘I Love You’ When You’re Sitting on My Face?
          (actual song, btw)

          • Oblios_Cap

            Put the Bone In!

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Thank you, Oblios_Cap! Did you listen to it?

          • Oblios_Cap

            I’ve read the lyrics. Poor little dog got hit by a car, etc. It’s considered one of the worse songs ever recorded. In short, a Terry Jacks song.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            But, she’d feel better if that butcher would just put the damn bone in.

          • Oblios_Cap
    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      The disco remix of “One Tin Soldier”.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Nope. . .

    • Satan.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      IIRC, it’s a romantic little number called “Put The Bone In”.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Romantic, sure!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      B side of “Rock Around the Clock?”
      “13 women (and only one man.”

  • msanthropesmr

    It’s a good thing the Earth is round. If it wasn’t all the Chinese people would fall off.

  • Crystalclear12

    These people are allowed to buy guns.
    I’ll just leave that here.

    • msanthropesmr

      Encourage, even

    • Bitter Scribe

      It’s bad enough that they can vote.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Related: Sean Spicer apparently believes the Nazis didn’t use gas.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Well, he was blinded by poison gas in the first World War so probably didn’t like it on troops. People he considered subhuman, on the other hand, pint is Spicer’s a fucking idiotic.

    • Boscoe

      Maybe it’s like the fortune cookie game where you add “in bed” after whatever it says… in Spicey’s case, you have to add “…on anyone who matters”?

      • ariel_gee_398

        “Dropped from an airplane” was his attempted clarification.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Because dropping it from an airplane is one step too far for this White House.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I can only assume that if Assad bothered to round up his victims and gas them in showers like the civilized brutes do, he wouldn’t have had to suffer America’s wrath and lose 6 non-functional aircraft and a cafeteria.

          • jowgajen

            This is likely too close to the mark.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yeah, the most generous interpretation is that Hitler never used poison gas in a combat situation.

          OTOH, the Syrian attack wasn’t one either, unless you stretch the definition of “combat situation” to mean “attack of anyone in any place that’s not under your direct control.”

          • Crank Tango

            Yes, all of this. Well he never used them outdoors, I guess.

  • Boscoe

    I wasn’t surprised. I also assume they’re all MGTOW.

    -And I’m still waiting for them to explain how sunsets work if the sun is tiny, only 3k miles above us and moving back and forth over a flat plane…

  • JMP

    “Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere.”

    This is what physicists in the nineteenth century believed, thus the hypothesis that empty space was suffused with aether. But experiments proved this hypothesis to be wrong, and so because of the scientific method it was tossed. You do not need a medium to move.

    • FlownΩver

      Phlogiston LIBELZ!1!!1!

    • Bitter Scribe

      Yeah, Newton was a great man, but he wasn’t perfect or infallible. For instance, there’s a reason certain liquids are called “non-Newtonian”; it’s because they behave under pressure differently from what Newton predicted.

    • clubseal

      I’m straight up fascinated by what empty space actually is.
      Less fascinated in understanding how someone could think the Earth was flat, in any sense. Like, is it a graham cracker shape, or maybe a piece of paper?

  • goonemeritus
  • formerChild

    Besides, Nazis knew the earth was round. Just look up their concept of the “Antipodal Bomber”. (plus there’s no such thing as an antipodes on a flat plane)

    • puredog

      “I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE MUTHAFUCKIN ANTIPODES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN FLAT MUTHAFUCKIN PLANE!”

  • LarryHoudini

    “Crank Magnetism” is also what I call the starter device on my new “Perpetual Motion 5000 Actatron” machine. AM LOOKING FOR INVESTORS. PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP IF YOU WANT IN ON THE ACTION.

  • Yr. Gma

    You can’t be a globalist if the earth is flat.

    • Zonath

      What would you be? A flatulist?

      • Jeffery Campbell

        No, I believe that’s a different problem….

      • Opiwan

        Maybe a flautist. Jazz flute!

        • msanthropesmr

          Jazz flatulence.

          • Opiwan

            By pee hookers, allegedly

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Ok I am going there: All lunacy aside, how many of you believe the official 9/11 commission report?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Dude, the 9/11 commission report was the result of the NWO aliens working with the Illuminati to hide the chemtrails in the sky that caused the 911 attacks. INSIDE JOB INSIDE JOB!!!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah but you do know even the 9/11 commission said they were set up to fail, right?

    • Boscoe

      One of my favorite 9/11 conspiracy “documentaries” sounded fascinating… right up until you reached the point where the ENTIRE THING hinged on EVERY news agency being not only complicit, but able to render a realistic CGI airliner into their footage during the 17-second live feed lag.

      • C4TWOMAN

        “Fascinating” is what Vulcans say when they encounter the ineffable.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Sure that was when the 9/11 movement had people moving it to some strange no plane theory. I was talking about the prior 9/11 transactions and the fact that not even the 9/11 commission felt they found the truth.

        • Boscoe

          oooh… you mean the one where Bush remote piloted the planes personally with a Playstation controller… ;P

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah make fun of it.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Okay, I know that early on…and I mean during the mid Bush years, there were serious questions NOT being brought up by conspiracy loons and many of us on the left really thought there was something there.

          Then what would become the alt-right took over the issue in a kinda political propaganda mugging and all 9/11 questions, valid or not, became synonymous with Nazi front groups trying to blame Jews for the attacks. This was a sewer that otherwise sincere left activists got dragged into, not unlike OWS.

          So I’m a little impatient with the issue these days UNLESS it is clearly and responsibly framed.
          =^-^=

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I fully understand. the European movement if there is any saw how the alt right took ik over but explain this. This was show on serious dutch tv:

            http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x44yy1c

      • Vincent Ricola

        I watched it live, there’s no way that was faked imo.

        Your point and also, too, it’s very easy to measure CGI in the lens of 2017 knowledge, but in 2001, CGI was crap (see Pearl Harbor) and some of us tech geeks would’ve noticed.

    • Crank Tango

      So if I don’t believe in the report 100%, then whatever nonsense theory becomes true?
      http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/848/ancient-aliens.jpg

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Exactly

    • Darlene Underdahl

      9/11 and Roswell. Those are the two I don’t buy.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        So you take the 9/11 story as correct?

        • Darlene Underdahl

          I’m not sure what really happened, except I’ve seen lots of implosions on TV. Those were implosions. And bldg. 7 fell the same way.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Ok then we are on the same page.

        • Suttree

          How about incomplete? Massive intelligence failures because “no one could have ever imagined” is a pretty weak excuse. The following catastrophe into Iraq didn’t make anyone think of the administration as in any way competent either. I don’t think Bush flew the planes in personally, I just think that institutional lack of foresight under primarily Republican administrations tends to be the norm. See: Giuliani and the location of his OEM

          • Crank Tango

            Yeah I don’t remotely think they did it, but I do think that when they got the intel on an attack they let it happen or at least dragged their feet, thinking it would be minor and a great pretext to go into Iraq.

          • Suttree

            And every Republican that I knew at the time favored going into Iraq. For no reason except Saddam is evil! It took them about 7 years before they started saying that they never supported it in the first place. I don’t believe they forgot me yelling at them. Fucking assholes.

          • Darlene Underdahl

            A big reason my husband and I bowed out of Mensa. The local Reno group was almost 100% pro war with Iraq. I got tired of fighting the jerks. They were supposed to be smart, but spouted the Republican line constantly. Brainwashed by Limbaugh and Fox. Ick.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Agreed I dont think Bush flew those planes into those towers but I do believe some high level admin. persons knew what the hell was going on. They might not have expected both planes to hit and to bring down the towers but they were willing to take the chance that the first picture of the first plane’s damage was enough to go to war.

  • memzilla Ω

    Then there are the rationalist, science-based Nazis who find all these
    flat-earthers an embarrassment to the good reputation of white
    nationalism…

    If you had told me I’d be reading a sentence like this in 2017, I’d have told you to go take a long walk off the edge of the planet.

  • C4TWOMAN

    First: LOLOLOLOL I read this last night at WHTM.

    Second: pushing crank woo can serve a purpose…mainly to leverage crank magnetism into a base for politics or whatever. If you have a group of people who will buy X-Woo, they might by Any-Woo. And frankly the Alt right DEPENDS ON a regular supply of people with crippled critical thinking skills.

    Third: someone should share this expanding earth theory at one of these forums. Just to shake things up. No, fer realz. Its a real thing. The main guy pushing it is less a nazi and more just run of the mill harmless kook…

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expanding_Earth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kL7qDeI05U

  • Nick Scroggs

    Judas priest, these guys are dumb, or not dumb, what’s the word I’m looking for, wacko? At this point, I am wondering if they are just ultra-prejudiced and delusional guys who happened to take the Nazi name than come up with their own.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I think they adhere to the philosophy “If liberals believe a thing, it must be false.” So, no matter how wacky a conspiracy, it is necessarily true if the opposite is embraced by “intellectuals,” ’cause they are all puppets of the Jews and the Illumaniti.

      • Little Doll

        That’s a freaking good theory!

      • artem1s

        liberal’s sincerely believe that drinking arsenic is bad for you! also too, stepping in front of moving buses.

  • BearGHAZI

    It’s not really a sphere, it’s slightly oblong.

    Cucks!

    • anwisok

      Oblate sphere.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I thought The Matrix was a documentary.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Would it not make more sense to say the earth has a phallic shape, so they can say “God intended our cocks inside our white women!”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I also too believe in a flat earth, and it is my sincere hope that all of the wingnuts looking for the edge find it, and then fall off.

  • Sister the Resister

    Crank Magnetism is the name of my new all-string death metal band

  • anwisok

    “I mean, use some common sense, guys.” QUIT STEALING OUR LINES!

  • Thiazin Red

    What is the point is what I wonder. Why would anyone possibly fake the earth being round? What possible point would that have? Why would people invest huge amount of money and time into faking it?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      They haven’t connected all the dots yet.

    • Boscoe

      get ready, this is what they actually think… BECAUSE IF EVERYONE KNEW THE WORLD WAS FLAT, THEY’D ALSO KNOW THE BIBLE IS TRUE.

      It always comes back to the “well known” anti-god agenda of scientists.

  • Shoto
  • CogitoErgoBibo
    • Little Doll

      JFC.

    • Thiazin Red

      Ugh, the fact that the clarification had to be included makes me sad.

    • anwisok

      WTF?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Relax. He’s just using Holocaust denial to play to his base.

    • jowgajen

      (((but those were jews and blacks and queers and gypsies and the mentally ill and the disabled and there’s no video so it doesn’t matter)))

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Only because — as we learned on Holocaust Remembrance Day — non-Jewish heroes stopped him.

      • Thiazin Red

        Shouldn’t they try to tone down the anti-antisemitism a little? I know they hired literal nazis, but shouldn’t they at least try to make it subtle?

        • GoutMachine

          Well, we’re beyond the point where anti-semitism has negative consequences, so …

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Nazis need constant reassurance that they matter.

    • mancityRed6

      here’s a tip: do not read the comments on the Shill’s story for that.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Ok, in a very literal sense, that’s true; Hitler forbade the military use of gas or chemical weapons, largely because he himself had been gassed, and that Heinrich Himmler was the major proponent of gassing during the Holocaust.

      That said, that’s a really, really weird point of distinction to make about a person guilty of mass genocide.

    • Creepoman

      Disregarding 6 million murdered Jews (which seems to be a trend), does this mean Spicer’s standard for acceptable behavior is “barely better than Hitler?”

  • clubseal

    “Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration
    in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is
    not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon
    mission.”
    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! Seriously, what.

    • Boscoe

      You have to love it when imbeciles cite their own ignorance as proof that what the rest of us know is all wrong.

      • clubseal

        Reminds me of this simple, yet effective, meme wherein a little cartoon guy is shrugging and saying, “I don’t understand it, so scientists can’t either.”

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Buzz Aldrin punching that fuck nozzle in the face MAKES MY DECADE!!!!!!11!!

  • The Wanderer

    First (non-enhanced) TV image of the Earth from space, courtesy of the TIROS-1 weather satellite:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_Infrared_Observation_Satellite#/media/File:TIROS-1-Earth.png

    • GoutMachine

      CGI!!!1!!!!11

    • mardam422

      Oh please! My niece could have drawn that with her My Little Pony pencil.

    • SterWonk

      So fine, the Earth is a disk, obviously. Still flat! </rolleyes>

  • rosenbomb

    “Science is the acquisition of knowledge capable of being reproduced.

    You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ff32004c6e5d4f264f3a650aa5b96fad21559d690febf01a21df71207b0443f0.jpg

    • clubseal

      The question I have is, if we could reproduce “Big Bang,” wouldn’t it be, I don’t know, cataclysmic?

      • The Wanderer

        Yeah, it would be. One of the odder doomsday scenarios is having the entire universe undergoing a phase shift, basically rewriting all of physics on the fly. We’d never notice it, because according to the theory it would be instantaneous throughout all of spacetime.

        • clubseal

          These are the kinds of discussions I love. Thanks, Flat Earth Nazis, for reminding me of real scientific inquiry!

    • NastyBossetti

      A friend of mine has told me that there are aliens here that we can’t see or interact with because they vibrate at a different frequency, and they’re trapped here, so they’re trying to recreate the big bang to free themselves. Or something like that. If I say, “What are you even talking about,” I am closed-minded and probably stupid, and I should just consider the possibility.

      • Bmaccnm

        I would consider the possibility that I saw that movie, while I was in some sort of phase shift.

        • NastyBossetti

          It sure sounds like you saw that movie.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    OT: My teacher friend’s school is locked down because of “armed and dangerous escapee” in vicinity. This is a couple towns away from yesterday’s school shooting. Students asking if they are going to die. Fucking guns. Fucking NRA.

    • JohnBull

      But it’s the teacher’s fault for not completing the lesson plan.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Ug. I hope they stay safe.

    • GoutMachine

      Goddammit. Hope they’re OK.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Hope it all turns out okay and they find the guy immediately.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Think SouthernFacist has the Van Allen belt confused with Van Halen’s belt.

    • msanthropesmr

      Everybody wants some.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      I’ve been to the edge (of the flat earth)/ I’ve stood and looked down/ you know I’ve lost a lot of friends there baby/ I got no time to mess around

  • Daniel Hooper

    On a similar note, I once got into a fight with an ex-boyfriend who refused to believe that the Earth is in fact not the center of the universe(Also super religious, and super in the closet). It’s one of the many reasons he’s my ex.

    • The Wanderer

      The Earth’s not the center of the universe.
      I am.
      That is, conditioned by my arbitrary and subjective frame of reference.

      • Daniel Hooper

        Mr. Trump! I didn’t know you had a Disqus account!

      • SterWonk
        • The Wanderer

          (grins) I was hoping someone would get it. I award you an upfist and an internet.

  • GoutMachine

    The thing I love the most about conspiracy theories is that the very people who think government is incapable of doing anything right believe that the government is so extremely gifted in convoluted, expensive, complicated and precision-tuned fake-outs to … do … something.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      My favorite is when those same people reject things that are not actually crazy (like summer last year when the words “collusion” and “treason” were first whispered) because somehow reality is too ridiculous.

    • clubseal

      Nuance is a liberal conspiracy.

      • Asterix

        As is grammar.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      My favorite of all time: A small town in Idaho is overrun with deer. It’s A Conspiracy! Obama, Idaho Gov. Butch Otter, The Bureau of Indian Affairs, The Nez Perce Tribe, ID Dept. of Fish & Game, US Dept. of Interior, Army Corps of Engineers, US Fish & Wildlife Service, BLM, USFS, The Association of Federal, State, County, and Municipal Employees (for some reason), the University of Idaho, the Sierra Club, and the Bureau of Reclamation, joined forces to “plant” deer for the purpose of drawing wolves and bears into the town. The wolves and bears would then chase off all the white people, and the town (which is on the Rez) would revert to Nez Perce control. Why the guy relating the conspiracy thought the Nez Perce wanted to live in a bear and wolf infested town was beyond my capacity for understanding.

      • GoutMachine

        Wow, that’s some outstanding gymnastics there.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I was impressed he was able to put it all together. Then again, Paranoid Lloyd spent most of his day rambling about one conspiracy or another.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      It’s like the old joke: How do you know the CIA wasn’t behind the JFK shooting?

      He’s dead, isn’t he?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      lIke the manhattan project?

      • C4TWOMAN

        You seem to have picked up a Russian bot.

    • Themostunclean

      It’s a well documented occurrence in conspiracy believers- the ability to accept two completely contradictory statements relating to a conspiracy. In a study people who believed that Princess Di was murdered were equally willing to believe she faked her death.

      • GoutMachine

        Or that Obama was an evil, Machiavellian genius and a nephyte fuckup?

    • HooverVilles

      ^^^^THIS^^^^
      Logic is definitely not one of their strong points!
      >^o.o^<

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Crank magnetism? I thought we just called that being a moran.

  • Asterix

    Reading all that shit made my brain hurt.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    OT: United CEO (AKA, Company Asshole) Munoz finally issues the apology he should have released Sunday night. I’m sure it has nothing to do with their stock losing millions in mere hours today.
    https://twitter.com/TasneemN/status/851875063045476356

    • msanthropesmr

      A billion. With a b. A billion in market cap.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        It’s bounced back since it hit a billion. It’s in the millions again. Or at least was last it was reported.

        • georgiaburning

          Buy on the bounce

    • Claire

      “The market hasn’t closed yet, it’s not too late to start dragging our stock prices out of the pit.

    • GoutMachine

      Someone got a call from his broker …

    • Asterix

      Literally a day late.

      • Creepoman

        And a billion dollars short.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I’m counting since Sunday night. There should have been apology before the video went viral yesterday.

      • puredog

        . . .and a billion dollars shorted.
        ETA: Again with the not scrolling down. Blush.

    • Creepoman

      On the bright side, he’s single-handedly developed the entire semester’s curriculum for Public Relations 304.

    • Little Doll

      Nice to see him finally admit that just because what happened was “legal,” that didn’t make it OK.

    • georgiaburning

      Munoz used to work for CSX, a railroad company, where having cops toss people off boxcars is standard procedure

      • Claire

        I saw on The Twitters that he got his start at Pepsi. If that’s not true, it ought to be.

  • mardam422

    Why am I not surprised?

  • Creepoman

    We need to start a conspiracy theory that a plastic bag over their heads, secured with several tight rubber bands, is not at all harmful to their health. CO2 is plant food!!1!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      But Brawndo’s got what plants crave…

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      The (((Jews))) tell us that “oxagin” is good for you, but I KNOW BETTER! It’s how they keep you from knowing things! THEY GASS THE PLANET WITH IT TO KEEP US DUM AND SHEEP!!!

      How you think I got so smart?? LESS OXAGIN!! My ma tole me when I ben born, I din’t have some for a long time, and LOOK AT ME KNOW!!

  • Iam Reading

    Wish I knew a nazi so I could go punch him now. Stupid and nazi is no way to go through life.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m sure they have meetups in your area…

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Wait, the earth is flat? All this time I thought… but all those trips around the… Boy do I feel stupid right now.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Think how Ferdie Magellan must feel. Poor guy made his bones by circumnavigating, now he’s gotta admit to being a fraud 400 years later!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Indeed. Two years at sea and the worst case of jock itch in history, all for naught.

        • The Wanderer

          And a Filipino sword through the head.

      • Pickles

        thats just what the jews want you to believe. ferdie doesn’t even sound like a real name

      • Boscoe

        He’s just the victim of God’s practical joke. That guy sure loves to troll the mariners…

        • C4TWOMAN

          And evolutionists.
          “A trilobite!”
          Ha! Made you look!”

      • guppy06

        Magellan tried to sail around the world. He didn’t finish his voyage. Ipso facto…

        • C4TWOMAN

          PROOF of FAKE VOYAGE!!111!!1

      • guppy06
  • jesterpunk

    You have to remember something about these people.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHJbSvidohg

  • Themostunclean

    Any idiot who doesn’t know the difference between “CGI” and composite images doesn’t deserve to have their argument taken seriously. And ALL flat earthers claim pictures of the earth are “CGI”. Their evidence- scientists admit they are, which they don’t. They admit many of them are composite images because the earth is huge.

    And there is a high orbit Japanese satellite that CAN capture full earth images.

    All flat earthier arguments come down to a fundamental inability of their puny brains to grasp how enormous of a sphere our planet is.

    But all you really need to know to prove what a group of nitwits they are is that Tula Tequila is among their true believers.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I bet if you sent him any picture of Earth he would look at it and say, “See, it’s on my computer screen, therefore CGI. QED.”

      • Boscoe

        Exactly. They’ll never believe it until we shoot them into space so they can see it with their own eyes.

        • The Wanderer

          Can we shoot them into space sans life support? It’d save a lot of money.

          • Boscoe

            I was assuming sans spacecraft, actually. :D

          • puredog

            A really powerful t-shirt launcher should do it.

    • Boscoe

      …All flat earthier arguments come down to a fundamental inability to realize that scrunching your face up when you think real hard doesn’t make you capable of outsmarting science.

    • guppy06

      You’re kind of wandering off into the weeds. None of us have been in orbit (sun notwithstanding), and none of us have been at 0° and 70°S latitudes to make comparisons. That’s nothing that can be seen empirically “with your own two eyes,” and also weren’t options available to those who firmly established the shape (and even circumference) of the earth.

      I commute across a long, high bridge. I can occasionally see a ship anchored just past the horizon, where I can only see the top half or so (giving the impression that the ship is on the horizon, sitting low in the water). I climb up 60 m or so and, as if by magic, the ship is now in front of the horizon (and sitting high in the water).

      This cannot happen on a flat surface, and it’s demonstrable proof that doesn’t require spaceflight or traveling 20,000 leagues (the latter of which will also require lessons on rhumb lines vs. great circles to get them to stop believing the lying compass). Better off keeping it simple, IMO.

      I’m reminded of this recent bit of xkcd:

      https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/rayleigh_scattering.png

      • Themostunclean

        I’m fully aware of the finer points and the voluminous evidence from thousands of years of study, as well as real world examples, that undeniably prove the world is a sphere. My argument is if they lack a fundamental understanding of how images of the earth are captured, any higher arguments are going to be a waste of time.

  • Mavenmaven

    Who needs the nutjob neonazis? Here’s Sean Spicer, doing some holocaust denial.
    “You had a — someone as despicable as Hitler, who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons. So you have to, if you’re Russia, ask yourself, is this a country that you — and a regime that you want to align yourself with?”

    • Lamashtar

      Assad = Worse than Hitler

      Really curious how the Russians and their eternal worship of WWII will take that.

      • Mavenmaven

        as badly as anyone civilized would take it.

  • rosenbomb

    Unfortunately, belief in conspiracies is truly a Both Sides Do It situation. My friend’s dad is a JFK assassination/vaccination nut. Not coincidentally, he is also an extraordinary narcissist who emotionally abused my friend and her sister for years.

    It’s the thrill of being the only person in the room who is truly ~in the know~

    • C4TWOMAN

      Not all conspiracies are created equal.

      Some of them are deliberate frauds/obfuscation any one can fall for.
      Google Andrew Wakefield–this is the architect of the anti vax movement. He fooled a scientific community with fraud.

      As for the JFK thing: I acquired that as a kid and only completely lost it recently(last several years). The key for me was the jump seat–which explains the so called “magic bullet”. Nothing magic, the front seats were lowered to people could see the president better.

      So there’s a ray of hope. There’s a big difference between someone who considers a conspiracy because they don’t have all the facts
      vs someone who buys any conspiracy because they are suspicious of ALL authority figures and aren’t willing to do the work of researching critically.

      And I personally have never “felt a thrill” of being “in the know”. I’ve been disturbed because things (apparently) did not make sense. Though you may be describing a real thing among certain groups of people.

  • Nick Scroggs

    I’m so depressed I can’t even blink.

  • Q: Do you know why all of the big morans fell off the edge of the earth?
    A: Because the small ones were a little more on.

  • Iam Reading

    So constellations visible only from the southern hemisphere are fake news? Trying to follow stupid is haaaard

    • Little Doll

      Don’t try, it hurts a good brain.

  • Themostunclean

    How to shut up a flat earthier-
    Why does it take longer to circle the earth at the equator than the Antarctic?

    According to them the Antarctic “ice wall” circles the entire planet.

    • jaspersdad

      You can’t circle some thing flat. Libtards, sheesh.

      • Themostunclean

        Wow. I’ve been circling the answers on my quizzes all wrong, I guess!

    • beingreleased

      Well if you don’t understand, then I’m not going to tell you.

    • The Wanderer

      Eislehre. Another bizarre theory.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space. You need a medium to move: floor, water, atmosphere. Space is not a medium. This would explain why NASA had to lie and fake a moon mission.

    The stupid – it burns!

  • h4rr4r

    Take these morons to the beach, show them a ship go over the horizon.

  • Hither and Yawn

    How dare he reference The Great A’Tuin without so much as a mention by name?

  • cheetojeebus

    Ok, Who was the brilliant fuck who taught these assmunching shitgibbons to fucking inhale and exhale?

    • Creepoman

      Fucking Common Core – I knew it was going to bite us in the ass.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Question…

    What would scientists have to gain by lying about the shape of the planet?

    • jowgajen

      All of the scientist fame and fortune, you know. Because that’s a thing.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Science shwag.

    • Thiazin Red

      Right? What would they possibly gain? It makes no fucking sense.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      A substantial advantage on trivia night?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Questions are for members of the shadow government!!!11!!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Don’t blow my cover!!!

    • Master Contrail Program

      Perhaps a spot in Pepsi’s latest ad campaign?!?!? Join the conversation!

    • cheetojeebus

      to get laid?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Science groupies?

    • Pickles

      that sweet, sweet grant money from the government. that’s why they lie about global warming, duh

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Obviously, all the money that leprechauns normally leave out for sharp-eyed Aryans to discover, DUH!!

  • Hutch

    These Nazis are idiots. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images./be5ea0f65225b1c2b4e6647ff0ed5e8d76f50437209a9c7b91b627ab0688bcbd.jpg Everyone knows the Hollow Earth Theory is the only true “scientific” truth!!!1!!11

  • guppy06

    You can’t land on a lightning bolt. You can’t land on the “sun” or
    “stars” or “planets,” if they are electromagnetic plasma formations.

    Sorry if this was already posted below, but this is what he was getting at: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Electric_Universe

  • The Wanderer

    Recall the deep sinkholes appearing in Siberia? Someone last year actually threw the Hollow Earth theory in my face. I slapped him down fairly easily (metaphorically, of course).

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Then how did Pat Boone take his Journey to the Center of he Earth?

    • Thiazin Red

      I wonder about that one, does every government, business and agency just agree to edit out the giant holes from satellite images?

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    why would they invent all of these apparently totally fictional satellites

    “Stormcommando” is very naive. He doesn’t know just how crafty “they” are.

    • Bobathonic

      Obviously, “Stormcommando” (if that’s their real name) is PART of the conspiracy!

  • undercover epicurean

    So now these ratfucking dipshits are doubting their own Führer?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbus_Globe_for_State_and_Industry_Leaders

  • Thiazin Red

    Maybe I’m strange, but I don’t get how people don’t feel wonder at reality. As a kid seeing pictures of Earth from space was amazing, it still is. Learning that tv and radio static contains echos of the big bang filled me with awe.

    • The Wanderer

      They can’t fathom it, so they shy away from it and cling to anything that gives them meaning and fits their perceptions.

  • boyblue122

    Heres my question id like to ask flat-earthers:

    How many people have “fallen off the edge of the earth” and landed in outer space

    • GoutMachine

      Duh, the dragons in the sea eat them before they can get there.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Or why planes, if they keep traveling in a direction, eventually get to the other side of the planet instead of falling into space.

      • Boscoe

        -because all their instruments and gauges were designed by SCIENCE! DUH!

    • BeachBum

      3,278 not counting Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew.

    • Boscoe

      (rolls eyes) EVERYBODY knows the ice wall surrounding the disk makes that impossible. DUH!

    • Major_Major_Major

      My god, that’s what really happened to all the people that supposedly were killed in the “holahoax”, they fell off the earth. Hitler was trying to stop that by rounding them up for safekeeping but they escaped and fell off the edge of the earth. Then the (((allied forces))) faked a bunch of photos and shit so that people wouldn’t panic when they found out you could in fact fall of the edge.

  • canes_pugnaces

    And in other news, Sean Spicer has finally explained how Hitler didn’t kill millions of jews with strong shampoo int eye showers. Not gas. Nope. That’s why Trump set off some fireworks. Because Hitler didn’t kill any jews.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Huh?

      • canes_pugnaces

        It’s on the wires. Spicer decided to do a little holocaust denial on Passover.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Of course he did. Melissa McCarthy were are you in our hour of need?

          • canes_pugnaces

            Who needs McCarthy when we are in such able comedic hands with Spice Boy.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    GPS is is the Big Lie.

    lol

    • The Wanderer

      We can prove that easily. Have them find their own asses with a map and compass.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Compasses also a lie. Dates back to Chinese Illuminati of 200 AD.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    What I want to know is, who decided that the Truth had to be kept from the people, and why? How have they managed to get all these scientists, governments and businesses to suppress the Truth for centuries? Who is the keeper of the Truth? Who decides who is to be brought in on the secret, and who tells them? What do they do if someone says they are going to rip away the shroud of secrecy and expose the facts to the world? So many questions…

  • Nick Scroggs

    So, Sean SPicer’s going to get a promotion or something?

  • Vincent Ricola

    Spewing faux-intellectual TLDR stupid on a Nazi site. Their parents must be so proud.

    • Boscoe

      Sadly, they probably ARE.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Libruhlz just don’t understand Austrian astronomy.

  • It’s turtles, all the way down.

    • GoutMachine

      Mitch McConnell has fucked this up, too?

    • DainBramage

      Where is Corporal Carrot to straighten this out?

  • Marceline

    I can’t even keep track of all the alt-fact bullshit these people spew. In the last few months I’ve flat earthers (one of whom plays for the Cavs), Holocaust deniers, someone on VerySmartBrothas who wants us all to know that the Irish stolen from their homeland and brought here on slaves ships where they were purchased by black people, and of course a Bernie Bro who still swears up and down that we would currently be living in a paradise of free college, legal weed and chocolate air if not for noted serial killer Hillary (who has somehow refrained from killing Trump, Sanders and/or her husband in spite of being perfectly justified in any and all cases).

    I’m sick as hell of being held hostage by people who aren’t just willfully ignorant but aggressively so. They pursue ignorance like it’s the Holy Grail.

    • C4TWOMAN

      VerySmartBrothas who wants us all to know that the Irish stolen from
      their homeland and brought here on slaves ships where they were
      purchased by black people,

      This sounds like a VERY garbled form of a truth Irish and Scots did emigrate and/or were in bonds under less ideal conditions(The Great Hunger and post Culloden, both considered attempts at genocide). But this was done by the ENGLISH, who last I checked were pretty pale faced. No Africans were involved AT ALL.

      In fact the exploitation of Africans began, IIRC, when the English worked their own poor to death in these plantation concerns. When word got back home, people, even those who hated the poor, were less than impressed.So much better to work some OTHER people to death….

      But at no point were AFRICANS responsible for enslaving/indenturing/transporting Europeans. All abuse of Europeans labor was done by Europeans. I dearly want to know what “sources” that person was using…

      • Lamashtar

        If someone is reaching, I’m sure there was diversity in slavers in Asia and Africa. But the USA and probably Latin America was pretty straightforward.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      This is the thing that keeps me up at night. How do you get past this? How do you change the minds of people who are proudly trying to be as stupid and misinformed as possible? It’s a big fucking problem.

  • NastyBossetti

    1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.
    Whaaaaaaa? Even if that were true, how would that prove the earth is flat?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Ghosts make it colder and they come out mostly during the moonlight, that’s why.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Bingo!!

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Of course! It all makes sense now!

      • NastyBossetti

        And they hate shade?

        • Vincent Ricola

          Shade repeals them, physics says so I think.

          • Lamashtar

            The Christian Coalition wanted to repeal and replace ghosts the whole time?

          • NastyBossetti

            I never did take a physics class!

    • Marceline

      It makes perfect sense if you’re high.

      • Bobathonic

        Yeah, I just checked, and no, it doesn’t.

      • NastyBossetti

        I’ll re-read it again this evening and report back.

    • clubseal

      Let’s not overlook the simple mistake of claiming that there’s even such a thing as “moonlight.” Unless reflecting light is also a Jewish conspiracy to be avoided.

  • BoziSpicer
  • Lefty Frizzell

    I feel Anglin’s frustration. In fact we all do. It’s what we feel when listening to climate science deniers, Sandyhook truthers and HOLOCAUST DENIERS.

    How does it feel to be on the other side?

    • Lamashtar

      The glee I feel at the frustrated Science!Nazi is unholy.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Einstein, Newton, and Copernicus were crafty fuckers that fooled everybodies.

    I bet you really think Satellite TV is for reals. lol

    • h4rr4r

      I think you meant Strattelite TV.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Once those three got the gravy train rolling, it was a cinch to get other scientists to play along.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        It’s hard for me to get my mind around how people imagine this pre-scientific universe of theirs works.

        Creature of my time, I just can’t do it.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Da. Is receive Light of Glorious Truth from Sputnik. Plus every day at 2300 hours, a brief flash of Ivanka’s boobs. Bozhe moi!

  • georgiaburning

    Didn’t the Nazis build a sekret flying saucer base underneath the South Pole? We should give these guys a ticket there, along with a compass and some snowshoes.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Compass would be even more useful for them at North Pole. lol

    • BadKitty904

      I thought it was on the “dark side of the moon”…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lJAw_BtM2g

    • Boscoe

      …just hang a left at the fossilized remains of the Elder Thing civilization…

      • BadKitty904

        Kadath in the Cold Waste LIBELZ!!1!

        • Lamashtar

          The purity of Elder Thing civilization was roont by the lesser race Shoggoths outbreeding them and taking all the good jerbs.

          • BadKitty904

            If only they’d built a Wall…

  • BadKitty904
    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Won’t somebody PLEASE fetch Aunt Pitty’s swoon bottle!

      • BadKitty904

        And a daiquiri!

    • snigsy

      Didn’t I read on an earlier thread that you were signing off so as to work? Hmmmm? (Said in my best headmistress voice.)

      • BadKitty904

        That was this morning. It’s now past 4:00. What am I, a coolie?

        • snigsy

          My fail at a joke. It’s been me who spent all day here and not working or otherwise being a valuable citizen!

          (BTW: last year you sent me a link about bat houses, specifically the best places to hang them. I had good success with mine last summer and am looking to them returning in the next month or so.)

          • BadKitty904

            No “fail” at all. I knew you were joshing, so I joshed back! :0)

            I’m really delighted to hear about the bat-houses. Do check the Bat Conservation International site regularly – http://www.batcon.org/ . I’m a proud member and they always have all sorts of interesting items posted!

          • snigsy

            I’m a proud member too! Last summer I put up two bat houses and, during my northern latitude long evenings, sat outside and watched the little nippers fly and swoop. I originally put up the bat houses for simple mosquito control. But now, I’m in so love with them.

  • BoziSpicer

    Everything we know is WRONG!!1!1
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAcHfymgh4Y

  • Michael Smith

    “As a thesis, flat earth is stronger in 2017 than 2007.”

    Isn’t that the unfortunate fucking truth.

    • Boscoe

      Clearly derp has momentum…

    • Clyde Barrow

      Unfortunately, the internet provides a far reaching idiot pulpit.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I just can’t wait until Donnie gets his briefing on the dead aliens at Area 51. He’ll be on InfoWars telling all to Alex Jones the next day.

  • cheetojeebus

    What gets me is their inability to see that in truth we are all resting upon the giant coils of a sleeping serpent with over a thousand heads.

    • Boscoe

      THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!1!11!!eleven

      • kareemachan

        WHAT ABOUT THE TURTLES!!!!

        • Boscoe

          EATEN BY THE SNAKE!!!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • jesterpunk

      Can someone please take his twitter machine away from him before he starts a major war?

      • Lamashtar

        Dammit, Jared, you only had a dozen jobs!

    • Vecchioivan

      World War III will be caused by trash talk.

      • jesterpunk

        Its just locker room talk.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Twitter insults.

    • BoziSpicer

      Time to send in Seth Rogan and James Franco.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        After they finish the Matthew McConaughey goatfucking piece, okay?

    • cheetojeebus

      So, will DRPK be that guy in the middle of 5th avenue. Metaphorically. You know, like poetry. (Angling for that precious Pulitzer.)

    • Oblios_Cap

      So the world will end with a bang, it appears.

      • snigsy

        While the non 1% whimpers.

  • Professor Fate

    Actually given the evil that we’ve seen the last couple of days including the Attorney General asking god’s blessing in his crusade to poor miserable people’s lives even worse and the press secretary forgetting that bit about concentration camps, folks that think the earth is flat is almost charming. it’s not because they are Nazis but it’s almost charming it its utter foolishness. And oh yes the Greeks made one of the first estimates of the circumference of the earth about 240 B.C., for those of you keeping score that is about 2,250 years ago.

    • Bobathonic

      Ha! There never was a BC, either! Checkmate!

      • Suttree

        I hadn’t heard that one. I do like the missing centuries of the middle ages though. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_time_hypothesis

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Europeans couldn’t have been backward superstitious idiots for a thousand years! Unpossible!”
          — A backward, superstitious idiot of European descent

        • Professor Fate

          Interesting, I think that any idea that suggests that Charlemagne never existed is rather dubious not like the more firmly grounded idea that the Chupacabra exists.

  • snigsy

    You can’t land on intelligence, either, son. (Now someone please post a Foghorn Leghorn clip. Please!)

  • Mpeg

    ♫ “Oh, I could tell you why
    The ocean’s near the shore
    I could think of things I never thunk before
    And then I’d sit and think some more

    I would not be just a nothin’
    My head all full of stuffin’
    My heart all full of pain
    Perhaps I deserve you
    And be even worthy serve you
    If I only had a brain…” ♪

    • ken_kukec

      With the way that I’ve been thinkin’
      I could be another Lincoln
      If I only had a brain

      — DJT

  • calliecallie

    “The Earth can be any shape you want it to be.

    The White Genocide is still occurring.

    Our race will be just as extinct no matter what the shape is.”

    This guy sounds as hopeless as this Cat in a French Film:

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=cat+in+a+french+video&view=detail&mid=30AD356BCA4D6FBB038F30AD356BCA4D6FBB038F&FORM=VIRE&adlt=strict

  • Master Contrail Program

    So what of the numerous photos taken from Concorde flights or the more recent Red Bull space jump that show the curvature of the Earth? The conspiracy goes deep indeed.

    • jesterpunk

      The red bull space jump was a Nazi plot to do something.

      • The Wanderer

        The jumper’s last name was Baumgartner. It was a sneaky ploy by the Nazis to find a new way to exterminate the Jews.

      • Jennifer R

        Considering 49% of Red Bull is owned by a Nazi…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Not to mention looking at the horizon at the beach. That curvature is obviously a fake!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The horizon is in on the conspiracy!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      All digital photography is CGI!

      Silver nitrate photos from a pinhole camera that you built yourself or it didn’t happen!

      • Boscoe

        -And they’ll STILL just say it was retouched. Seriously, they will never believe it until we shoot them into space so they can see it for themselves… >:D

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “I kept my eyes closed the whole time. So there!”
          — An ASStronaut

  • You know, life was so much simpler in olden days…

    “Grog, no believe that tigers eat meat. Grog think that a vicious lie by Big Anti-tiger Conglomerates.”

    “If Grog no believe that tigers eat meat, Grog should go over to tiger and pet him.”

    (Sounds of Grog being eaten.)

    “Good thing that dumbshit no reproduce.”

    I’m not saying that civilization is a bad thing. I’m just saying that maybe stupid people need to be fed to tigers more often, in a hypothetical sort of way.

  • Little Doll

    When the internet became a thing, I thought it was so awesome, because knowledge would be at the world’s fingertips!

    How naive I was in those days…

    • DainBramage

      I know, right? The internet seems to multiply the stupid.

      • Master Contrail Program

        And give it a megaphone.

      • Little Doll

        It’s the back-up factor. When the stupids used to be stupid, someone would point out they were stupid. Now they are stupid on the internet and 300 other stupids tell them they’re right. So they go on thinking they’re right, when they’re just stupid.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          The Global Village has a lot of Village Idiots.

    • NastyBossetti

      It was pretty cool when it first started and *everyone* hadn’t joined up yet. There were still stupid people, but far fewer of them.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Unfortunately, in that narrow window of time, the question of whether the Starship Enterprise could take out the Death Star was never settled.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I blame Vannevar Bush.

    • undercover epicurean

      Once the olds figured out how to use those AOL startup disks it all went downhill.

  • janecita

    I’m starting to think, that white supremacists are supremely stupid.

    • Lamashtar

      There you go, using “logic” and “evidence”..

    • Little Doll

      You can’t think a thing, Janecita, you must BELIEVE….!

    • snigsy

      Is understatement also flat?

    • NastyBossetti

      You just might be onto something here!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    The turtle moves

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Won’t somebody write about the REAL TRUTH that is going on with this conspiracy to shine lights on these Nazi whackajobbers, radical Christianists, Trump-humpers, and Republican hypocrites??!

    Every single time we facepalm, or shake our heads, or roll our eyes, THEY are sapping of us of all of our precious evens! Think about it! Every single time we listen to their crackpot theories, eventually WE CAN’T EVEN, EVEN LESS!!!1 UNTIL WE HAVE NONE!!!! THEN WHAT?!?!?

    Divides by zero, is what!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!!1

    • Crystalclear12

      I am also running out of fucks and damns.

      • Vecchioivan

        Shits to give are on back order.

        • Crystalclear12

          They aren’t coming. They are always on backorder, man!

          • maxneanderthal

            I’ve got a whole warehouse full of dingoes bollocks you can have on discount..

    • Vecchioivan
    • mackafritz

      A cosmic reboot!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Might be time to unplug the universe, wait a bit, and plug it back in.

  • jowgajen
    • jesterpunk

      Donald Trump : You guys are amateurs watch this. takes phone out.

      http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/trump-taunts-north-korea-twitter-u-s-solve-fight-article-1.3042846

      Link from @MynameisBlarney:disqus

      • Professor Fate

        oh sweet mercy – I give up. There isn’t enough gin in the world to keep up with this madness.

        • snigsy

          Lets go get drunk at a gin joint while we have the little time remaining us. (BTW, I’m a happy drunk–not like the mean-drunk teetotaler now in the WH.)

        • Claire

          I just want to live in uninteresting times again.

      • anwisok

        Tillerson will walk into tensions at the Russian capital, with Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev having warned that the United States is “on the edge of military clashes with Russia.”

        Butbutbut . . . Hillary was the warmonger that wanted war with Russia!

  • calliecallie

    This is the worst episode of Big Bang Theory ever.

    • The Wanderer

      Um, bazinga?

    • Jennifer R

      EVERY episode of Big Bang Theory is the worst ever.

      • NastyBossetti

        omg thank you! I was starting to think it was just me.

        • janecita

          It’s not only you. That show sucks!

          • Little Doll

            So I guess I didn’t miss much? I can’t seem to watch “Breaking Bad” either.

          • Jennifer R

            At least Breaking Bad is engaging and goes somewhere, even if it’s maybe too violent for some people.

          • Little Doll

            I did make it through almost all of season one. But it just got a bit much watching Jesse getting the shit beat out of him every other day.

          • Jennifer R

            Season 1 is the slowest of them yeah. I binged the last season on LSD if that says anything.

          • NastyBossetti

            Yeah, it can be very hard to watch, but I did watch all of Breaking Bad.

          • Shanzgood

            It stressed me out too much. I stopped watching TWD as well for the same reason. I’m just waiting for Season 2 of Sense8 now. And Stranger Things.

          • Jennifer R

            I skipped sense8 for that reason. (I stopped watching TWD because it was just bad).

          • Shanzgood

            What stressed you out about Sense8?

          • Jennifer R

            The big ole pile of transphobia front loaded.

          • Shanzgood

            The scene with the TERFS?

          • Jennifer R

            I am emotionally unbalanced, one scene is enough to ruin a thing totally for me, in addition to setting off an episode.

          • Shanzgood

            I really liked when her girlfriend was defending her because TERFS puss me off so much. But I’m so sorry the nastiness that promoted it was bad for you and ruined the whole experience.

            One thing I DO like a lot is that the actress who plays Nomi actually IS a trans woman. I didnt realize that until after I’d watched the whole first series and did some reading about the cast.

          • Shanzgood

            Stupid autocorrect.

        • Jennifer R

          It’s a bunch of the worst stereotypes of nerdery coated in misogyny and heteronormativity.

          • NastyBossetti

            Yes! I’ve never laughed at one of the “jokes.”

          • Jennifer R

            At least half of them are “Hey spectrum people are different”.

          • Jamoche

            Can I bash Bones here too? Where the lesson is “you can be smart, or you can be socially ept, but not both”?

        • snigsy

          Try living with a teenage son who thinks it’s hilarious. (When it gets really bad, I grab the remote, remind him who bought the tv and pays for cable, and then go cook him his dinner. Two out of three isn’t too bad, I guess.)

          • NastyBossetti

            Luckily, I only live with a husband (who also hates it) and a dog. But MrBossetti’s brother and dad think it’s hilarious.

          • Jennifer R

            My roommate’s father does corporate sales and has to talk with people that match the stereotypes on the show to a T, so my roommate picked up an intense dislike of the show almost instantly.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Just because the earth is flat it doesn’t mean that the aliens couldn’t have built pyramids to store the grain.

    • h4rr4r

      The pyramids are part of the system to keep the earth from tipping over. The grain is simply ballast. The aliens work with the balancing monks.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    JFK to Heathrow = 2999 nm. SFO to JFK = 2247 nm. Why is it only 4644 miles from SFO to Heathrow? And, no, I will not accept “the Jews” as a component of the answer.

    • Clyde Barrow

      The curvature of the Earth…..oh, nevermind. My morning coffee has worn out. Is it beer o’clock yet?

    • Thaumaturgist

      Actually, it’s 5,360 miles fromSFO to Heathrow. http://www.airmilescalculator.com/distance/sfo-to-lhr/

      • NM = Nautical miles = historically 1 minute of arc latitude = 1.1508 m = 1852 metres

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Yet another vote for the metric system.

    • Nockular cavity

      Wait, the distance is only a few thousand nanometers? Why have I been flying? (I know, for the beatings.)

    • Cause you’re going back in time.

      Duh.

  • Clyde Barrow

    You can’t reproduce Big Bang. It’s not science.

    He’s never heard of the Large Haldron Collider? Higgs Boson or the 4 other new particles discovered? What a tool.

    • clubseal

      Maybe he meant the show. How does one get so many people interested in science and comedy?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        We can only hope that show isn’t reproduced.

      • Jamoche

        People will always be interested in laughing at nerds.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Wouldn’t people always be falling off the edge?

    • clubseal

      Well, one of we smart Wonkers should write a satire about what happens at the edge of the flat Earth.

      • GoutMachine

        Absolutely. Then post it on Breitbart and watch it become gospel truth!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        One thing that happens is that passenger jets somehow can travel at fantastic speeds, in order to get from one edge clear over to the opposite side in a matter of minutes.

        • clubseal

          So there’s possibly a wormhole at the edge. Interesting.
          I’d like to think that you start walking on the ceiling too.

    • Vincent Ricola

      We can’t get to the edges because of the hobbit guards and the wizard illusions.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Ohhhhhhhh. I feel silly now!

        • Vincent Ricola

          Don’t feel too bad, the secrets are guarded by a blood pact between our government and news media and corporations and the aliens. Regulars don’t get to know without being really observant.

    • Suttree

      Or at least send postcards from it?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Where do you think all the Jews went? See it all ties together.

  • Anna Rompage

    So we live on a flat earth that is barely 6000 years old, and jeebus used to ride dinosaurs along with his sister wife…. Yep, he used to ride her too…

    • Yr. Gma

      Uh, yeah.

    • GoutMachine

      How did the Flood work, then, pray? Wouldn’t the water just, like, flow off the edges?

      • Anna Rompage

        In our lord and savoir’s world, his will is our reality…

        He controls when the sun and moon come up and go down, just like how he controls the weather, just like he controls the flow of water

        • GoutMachine

          You left out “and ignores mass murderers.”

        • HooverVilles

          The “fingers of god” rampaging through the bible belt.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I guess it did – but it took 40 days.

        • HooverVilles

          Funny

    • Clyde Barrow

      Actually, the god of Abraham raped his own virgin mother so he could be born. He then had the audacity to be a blue eyed white guy in the middle of Iron Age Palestine who preached the virtues of the 2nd Amendment and slave owner’s rights whilst riding his big Velociraptor, Barney. And yes, the flat earth is only 6000 years old.

      Get your American history straight!

    • DainBramage

      Makes more sense if Jesus was a secret Targaryen riding a dragon.

  • vivian

    OT: I would encourage all Supreme Court Justices to address their newest colleague by his rightful name: Justice Garland.

    • The Wanderer

      Justice Nosuch?

    • BadKitty904

      “Judy,” to his friends.

      • vivian

        I was thinking more Merrick, but okay, I can live with Judy.

        • BadKitty904

          PoTAYto, poTAHto…

    • jesterpunk

      They can tell him to get them coffee and answer the door.

      http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/article143681974.html

    • Crystalclear12

      I thought his real name was Asshole?

      • vivian

        middle name?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I guess an asterisk looks a a little like an asshole, since there’s always going to be one beside his name.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He’s the tenth justice; the ninth seat remains vacant.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Seriously though – fuck all this “show me a picture of the round earth” bollocks.

    You show me a picture of the fucking edge – it should be quite easy to just drive up to it in a monster truck and take a fucking snap.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Rarely is the question asked, “Is our Nazis learning?”

  • capnkrunch

    No one ever accused Nazis of being too smart.

  • Moon Nazis: “Seriously, schisskopfs, ve are lookink right at it. It’s a sphere. Er… I mean, ve are just kiddink, there are no secret moon Nazis building death lasers.”

    • Vecchioivan

      Baloney. Elvis killed all the moon Nazis years ago.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        He just told me so yesterday when I ran into him at the mall.

  • TJ Barke

    Stick a fork in America, it’s done.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Is the flat Earth supported on the back of a giant Mitch McConnell?

  • TJ Barke

    You can attatch a go pro to a high altitude balloon and it can go high enough to clearly see the curvature of the earth…

  • kindness

    You are right. I don’t want to corrupt my browser history with one of those sites on it.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      I just don’t want to dilute my porn

  • Mr. Blobfish

    How does the sun stay lit under the ocean? One Wierd Trick?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Coal energy?

  • Anna Rompage
  • calliecallie

    Buzz Aldrin is badass.

    • BadKitty904

      That, he is.

    • jesterpunk

      The best part of that is no one would arrest or charge Buzz with anything, everyone said the guy deserved it for being an asshole.

      • And despite the numerous times spent examining the video, no one saw anything. No evidence to support the idiot’s claim, nope, no sir.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          I saw the whole thing. He slipped on the curvature of the earth and gave himself a black eye.

        • jesterpunk

          Buzz had a witness that said that guy poked him with the bible first.
          Everyone said “good enough for us”

          http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/2272321.stm

          • and numerous other people who would be willing to swear the guy tripped and fell onto Buzz’s fist.

    • Shanzgood

      That was great!

    • BadKitty904
      • Clyde Barrow

        I bought one of those shirts. It benefits Buzz Aldrin’s program for kids on the importance of science. Worthy cause and a cool shirt too.

  • Beowoof14

    “Excalibur,” should take a flight out of the Kennedy space center one day. A one way flight. With votes of course.

    • BadKitty904

      To Infinity! And beyond!!!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Speaking of Nazis…
    Sean Sphincter went Godwin in a press conference today, where he was trying so hard to demonize a guy who doesn’t much need demonizing: “Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons…”
    Well yeah, okay, he did, but he didn’t use them against his own people. Oh wait, he did . . . but he didn’t drop them on people! He rounded them up into death camps and gassed them systematically.
    (Advantage: Hitler? Not clear what Sean was going with this.)

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      And most of that wasn’t even fancy gasses. Mostly it was exhaust from big motors pumped into chambers full of folks.

      And when it was special chemicals, it was mostly cyanide gas which… I got nothin’.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m betting this will be tonight’s Open Thread topic. God, Sploogy Spice either a complete idiot or pretty incompetent at the dog whistles he’s been instructed to blow (or both!).

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        He is not the smartest or prettiest spice girl.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The SNL writing team just said, “Okay that’s the cold open. We can take the rest of the day off.”

    • RobKanC

      No. Hitler does not actually exist. It’s a figment of imagination invented by libtards to enforce their gay agenda.

  • BadKitty904

    But I thought the earth stands on seven pillars, and the seven pillars are set on the shoulders of a genie whose strength is beyond thought, and the genie stands on an eagle, and the eagle on a bull, and the bull on a fish, and the fish swims in the
    Sea of Eternity.

    • mackafritz

      Everyone knows that the world is carried by four world elephants who stand on the back of A’tuin the star turtle.

      • BadKitty904

        That, too. Also.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      John Galt supports the earth on his mighty shoulders. Earthquakes happen when he shrugs.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Isn’t there also something about seven swans a swimming and a partridge in a tree?

      • BadKitty904

        I think that has to do with how the moon moves through the sky.

      • vivian

        Wasn’t Shirley Jones in that?

    • Boscoe

      Sure, but it is still FLAT.

    • It’s turtles all the way down

      • BadKitty904

        I thought that was on the Island of Sola-ma-Sond…

  • William
  • WotsAllThisThen

    When it comes to the alt-right worldview, it’s Mitch McConnell all the way down.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    “1 interesting point is at night, it is cooler in the Moonlight than it is in the shade.”

    And if my aunt had testicles she’d be my uncle!

    • Michael Loraine

      Or would she?

  • Vecchioivan

    Good news, kids! James Mattis just said we are not going to nuke it out with the Russians!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      One last wonkette drinky thingy before we go?

      • Mpeg

        We may have to. I think Disqus is shipwrecking itself yet again~

    • Zonath

      But since he’s part of the Trump administration, doesn’t him saying that we’re not going to nuke the Russians actually mean that we’re definitely going to nuke the Russians?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        No. Because he’s not crazy.

        • vivian

          Assumes facts not in evidence.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          He’s not holding the nuclear football either. Just wait until Ivanka sees pictures from inside North Korea.

        • vivian

          Which one is not crazy, Mad Dog or the TIC?

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Mattis is not crazy.

          • vivian

            Right. Hence the nickname.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            The press gave him that nickname for saying things meant to be provocative like, “Be polite, courteous, and have a plan to kill everybody you meet”.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
          • vivian

            This is the argument for sanity? I give up.

      • Asterix

        Probably.

        I bet the Russians are sweating out that question too.

    • vivian

      Just like we were going to leave Assad alone? Fuuuuuu…

    • Master Contrail Program

      Just side hugs and watersports!

    • jesterpunk

      Has anyone checked with President Jared or Ivanka yet to be sure?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Of course not! Atomic is dead. The big money is in tanks, jets and missiles, these days.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Probably couldn’t figure out the Konami Code nuclear password…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Good thing he’s white enough to say something like that.

  • This must be exhausting.

  • Are we bombing Syria again FFS?

    • Jamoche

      I know Spicey needs a distraction, but what has Trump done today?

      • Anna Rompage

        So, every time the admin gets bad press, they’re going to drop bombs on other people?

        • NastyBossetti

          Until it stops working, probably.

      • jesterpunk

        You mean besides threatening North Korea on twitter?

        • tomamitai

          He won’t have to worry about losing the popular vote in 2020 if Kim nukes California.

    • Anna Rompage

      Sort of, we actually bombed New Zealand just to show Carne Assad & North Korea that we mean serious business…

    • Beowoof14

      Hey Spicy is having a tough time today, not knowing shit, seems to be a plus as a Trump administration spokesperson. http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/spicer-offends-hitler-gassing-remark-n745241

      • ltmcdies

        Yeh… I hear Hitler didn’t gas his own people in those Holicausr centers…. fuck
        Spicer… how does that guy still have a job?

      • DainBramage

        Wow! I’m very surprised (not surprised) at how little intelligence it takes to be Trump’s spokesperson.

    • William

      WE are going to keep up the attacks (at a half million a missile) until they run out of resolve and/or cones. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/459c424784c9c01db92a800f23ca25ef65c6ec6d1272d429437f5a15b1ea55eb.jpg

  • GoutMachine
    • In Kansas, anything is possible but will likely collapse the state budget.

      • mackafritz

        Buying a box of paper clips would collapse the Kansas state budget.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Not in Illinois, though! We have no budget to collapse…going on three motherfucking years now!

        • zerosumgame0005

          THANKS OBAMA!

  • memzilla Ω
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      This is everything summed up perfectly.

    • NastyBossetti

      She’s like, “Did anyone else hear that? Have they finally driven me over the edge of insanity? What is real anymore?”

  • maxneanderthal

    Ultimate proof:
    1) Go to south pole.
    2) take large dump on the ground
    3) walk 10 miles north
    4) walk ten miles west or east.
    5) walk ten miles south
    6) look down.
    7) QED

    • In their cosmogony there is no South Pole the antarctic is a vast limitless wall of ice

      • maxneanderthal

        You have to admire the perfect circularity of their logic. “Anything that confirms my pre-existing belief is true, anything that disproves it, is, ergo, false…”

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Are you familiar with the archeological hoax referred to as “Piltdown Man”? This circular logic has been going on with humans for a long time.
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piltdown_Man
          White European archeologists just couldn’t stand the idea that they were descended from African ancestors, so they faked a “missing link” skull to prove that they descended from a unique European ancestor. Their “skull” was greeted with open arms and accepted as valid because it confirmed pre-existing cultural beliefs.
          And then there’s Alfred Wegener, who developed the theory of plate tectonics. He was widely ridiculed for decades.

          • maxneanderthal

            It still continues in other forms. Take the standard paradigm progression of early man from Australopithecus to Cro-magnon. Progressively bigger brains meant we could all slap ourselves on the back at how dull and stupid they all must have been compared to us- until, whoops, Neanderthals turned out to have larger brains than H Sapiens. Cue intellectuals jumping through hoops with every possible argument to contradict their own progression, to now argue that our smaller brains meant that actually we are smarter… Go figure..

          • Angela Ruzzo

            For 100 years or more European scientists stated categorically that women are less intelligent than men, and therefore did not deserve the right to vote, because they have smaller brains. In fact, women do usually have slightly smaller brains because they have smaller bodies, but brain size is totally irrelevant. . . it is brain size in proportion to body size that matters, and when this is taken into account, men’s and women’s brains are the same. Many scientists resisted this information for decades.

            Many of the same scientists were saying at the same time that Africans were less intelligent than Caucasians because their brain sizes were smaller, but their data was based on the skull of an African man with microcephaly. They knew the subject had had microcephaly, so it was deliberate fraud.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      What color is the bear?

      • vivian

        Hard to tell.. he’s bi-polar.

        • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

          At least two levels of punny going on right there.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      THEM NEGROE JEW SCIENTEISTS SHIT ON MAH SNOWSHOESZ!!

  • RobKanC

    Morons. How can his majestic noodly appendage awesomely hold us down if the earth is flat. Heresy I say. Also Newton, laws of gravity. Yeah right.

  • Anna Rompage

    goddamn, was Mattis drunk at the news conference, or does he always slur his words…

    • jesterpunk

      If you where in his position you would be drunk all the time too.

  • Daisy

    The extent of stupidity possible in humans is astounding.

    • vivian

      …and seemingly infinite.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        . . .and extremely creative.

        20 years ago my father developed dementia. I noticed an amazing similarity between some of his dementia-influenced thought processes and those of conspiracy theorists. He took it into his head to not want to take a shower, and you could sit there and argue with him for an hour about why he needed to take one, but no matter what you said, he immediately came up with a powerful counter-argument which was always totally irrational, but which probably seemed rational to him. It was impossible to convince him to take a shower. So we had to send in two big strong male nurses and haul him off to the bathroom, kicking and screaming and cursing. We had to do this every week for 10 years. I suspect no matter what you said to conspiracy theorists, you would get similar results, because although they probably do not have dementia in any normal sense of the word, they do have closed minds that are locked up tight, just like my father’s.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Einstein. That’s a chewish name, isn’t it?

  • Michael R

    I had to go look ant Breitbart when gay marriaged passed ,
    and I had some science explained to me

    https://s8.postimg.org/93lx0olo5/breit_E.jpg

    • Michael R

      which unfortunately got a response …

      https://s3.postimg.org/pnc1fnlir/breitbart_M.jpg

    • NastyBossetti

      I, a straight female, am also vulnerable to all sorts of venereal diseases if I don’t take steps to protect myself. Does that mean I have a developmental disorder?

      • Last Hussar

        You’re a girl. Stay at home and have babbies, like the good Lord intended.

        • NastyBossetti

          I would, but it turns out I’m just not that good at girl-ing.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Look – this shouldn’t be all that fucking surprising, since if the consensus view of the congressional science fucking committee is that the earth is 6000 years old, then why the fuck couldn’t it be fucking flat as well? Fuck, a horrifyingly large proportion of the USA is too fucking stupid to bear. Fuck.

    • William
      • Clyde Barrow

        Is that Cha-Ka from ‘Land of the Lost’? He looks like he found the Sleestack’s meth lab.

      • BadKitty904

        I thought all of Sawney Bean’s brood was destroyed along with him.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Ultimately, the Flat earthers are no crazier than the religious zealots, and it is equally difficult to try to reason with them. As I’ve always said, it is impossible to have a rational discussion with someone whose worldview is fundamentally irrational.

      • Boscoe

        If you really dig into the beliefs of the flat earthers, you find many of them ultimately believe the round earth thing is part of science’s agenda to turn people from god. They believe that if everyone knew the world was flat, then they’d also realize that the Bible is true.

        In the end, they reject astronomy because they don’t get to feel special and snowflakey enough if there are other planets, with other life that maybe God likes better than us. Pretty much the same reason religion was invented: validation that they are the best, and most special of all the things and loved best by magic anger-management psychotic sky dad.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Double fuck.

      This stupidity is mostly due to people’s fear of the randomness and chaos of life. They have to create illusions to explain all the stuff they don’t understand and can’t control, and to cope with the unacceptable idea that when their superior, unique, irreplaceable selves die, they are just dead, and soon forgotten. If religion doesn’t do it for them, they look elsewhere. They reject science because it keeps suggesting that we are just little specks of unimportant matter on a very small planet in an out-of-the way part of an immense galaxy, therefore we are not the superior, unique, irreplaceable masters of the universe that they want us to be.

      Are white people more prone to this hallucination than other races? I don’t know, I never thought of it until just now. It would be an interesting subject to research.

    • Gregory Brown

      A horrifyingly large proportion of the USA is composed of Dunning Kruger Murcans. People who are so fucking stupid that they are too fucking stupid to understand how fucking stupid they are.

      • HooverVilles

        Hit the nail on the head!

  • William
    • Royal Ugly Dude

      No Soros button? It’s a conspiracy!!

      • jesterpunk

        Shouldnt the Soros button replace the caps lock button since its on by default all the time anyway?

        • zerosumgame0005

          where the caps lock is was a conspiracy by IBM back in the day

      • doktorzoom

        It’s hidden behind all the other conspiracies.

  • handyhippie65

    uhhh, i believe it was the ancient greeks who first determined the earth was a sphere. you know, the ones who thought up the crazy idea of democracy. is that a hoax too? dumb ass nazis. if they are the best the white race can come up with, we should die out.

    • NastyBossetti

      I am starting to think that yes, democracy may in fact be a hoax.

      • handyhippie65

        well, since we live in an authoritarian plutocracy masquerading as a republic, it wouldn’t be fair to base your thought process on murica. just sayin’…

        • NastyBossetti

          Fair point. Until I see a democracy with mine own eyes, not just read about it in some fancy book like a liberal elite, I will continue to believe it is a hoax.

      • nika

        I agree. At least ours.

    • Rick Hill

      I read someone this morning that noted that some other ancient civilization had named the earth for their word for round, spherical. Way long ago it was known it was a round, like your head.

    • I’ve often thought of having their DNA samples sent in to one of those ancestry places, just to see how many of them would suddenly get a rude shock. :-) It’s happened before, and the results might be … interesting.

      • handyhippie65

        if they’re from the south, they would prolly get the boot like the one who was shown to be full of the jewishness. singing,”no body loves me, ever body hates me, sittin in the garden, eatin up the worms.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      It’s really not THAT hard to deduce. Watch the moon for a couple months, compare to the day/night cycle, hang out near a fire every so often, and then think really hard about how all that fits together. On the scale of incredible shit humans have figured out it gets 3/10 at best.

      • handyhippie65

        and yet, there are americans who think it is flat. what does that say about the state of our population, or better yet, the so called “master race”(i am a dirty blonde, blue eyed white guy, of german descent) these morans claim to be?

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz
  • William
  • Rick Hill

    I have to take exception with your attacks, Dok. It’s well known the Catholic church threw Galileo in Church jail because he relied too heavily on cgi renderings and photoshop.

  • William
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Spicer: “Early today I made the mistake of saying ‘Holocaust Centers’. Obviously this is wrong. What I meant to say was ‘Holocaust Spas.'”

    • Rick Hill

      Their rejuvenation treatments were to die for….

      Too soon? To soon, My bad.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        “Camps? Who doesn’t love camps? Amirightguys???”

        • Lots of people talk about the weight loss treatments!

  • Nockular cavity

    The world is idiots all the way down.

  • Rick Hill

    Not flat? Assplain this, then:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBv3_0j0y_4

  • Khavrinen

    “believing in a flat earth dishonors the Nazi rocket scientists”

    After all, who was it who helped NASA get to the moon?
    Werner Von Braun, of course:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjDEsGZLbio

    • Rick Hill

      Wrong! Fake news!

    • Professor Fate

      I aimed for the stars and hit London – discarded title of Wernher Von Braum’s autobiography.

  • Rick Hill

    “You can’t do the big bang so, Bam!, not science!”
    http://www.titaniumteddybear.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/carl-sagan-dude-what.jpg

    • Unregistered Hijabi Rockstar

      Well *I* can do a “big bang.” Sounds like somebody is projecting.

  • VirginiaLady

    Can’t get past the cooler in the moonlight than in the shade. (I always have to stop and grab another beer.) I must now carry out this experiment for my own peace of WTF mind. Who even thought of this?

    • NastyBossetti

      Yeah that one really baffles me. Did the guy ever even think to test it out himself? It’s a full moon tonight, so it seems like a good time to find out whether it’s really warmer in the shade at night.

      • Nockular cavity

        It might be, because the ground will radiate heat away more efficiently to an open sky. Of course, that would be true on a moonless night as well.

        • Amy!

          Shelter.

          If the temperature is dropping, then the air will remain warmer in sheltered areas where there’s less air moving than in the open.

          Marginal effect, but you can make use of it, for example, when you’ve got a soft freeze and young plants. Don’t have to bring them inside, just set them in an inside corner of a couple of walls (as long as the open sides don’t open to prevailing winds. Won’t work for a hard freeze, but it’s a major labor saver if there’s a late (but light) frost and you don’t have a barn or something to carry all the not-yet-planted bits in. Find a sheltered spots, maybe throw a frost blanket over the top to be sure.

          ETA: also, “moonless” nights are cloudy, so tend to be warmer. Adds to the illusion of “shady” (fsvo “shady”) being warmer than “moonlight” (clear night). But you might mean before moonrise or after moonset, which should also be true; open area is likely to have more air currents, and to drop in temp faster (exception: ocean, where water acts as heat sink).

      • VirginiaLady

        And the verdict is….of course there isn’t any difference. Was this an auto correct and the word was really moonshine instead of moonlight? Drink enough and you learn all kinds of strange and wonderful new things?

        • NastyBossetti

          You can learn a lot from an alcoholic. At least that is what an alcoholic I knew in high school used to say.

    • nika

      Either way moon light does not give you vitamin d and does not kill bacteria like sunlight . Moonlight is a different kind of light so it can’t just be bounced sunlight .

      • VirginiaLady

        But I can still get a tan from it right?
        /S

        • Unregistered Hijabi Rockstar

          Also one aspirin will make you feel better but 100 will kill you, thus proving that they are two different substances.

          Quantities. How do they work?

  • Chadwells
  • DainBramage

    As Carl Sagan noted, you can’t convince an idiot that they don’t have a fire breathing dragon in their garage.
    I can’t see it – “It’s invisibe.”
    I’ll spread flour on the floor and see if there any footprints – “It floats.”
    I’ll use an infrared sensor to detect the invisible fire – “Invisible fire is heatless.”
    Etc., forever.

    • Red Bird Ω

      I don’t see the goal posts.
      “I just moved them.”

    • Hardly Ideal

      I’ll shoot the thing. I’ve got a cart full of Nerf guns and a bus full of 3rd-graders who were told they could see a dragon today.

      • DainBramage

        Nice try, but the dragon is incorporeal and the nerf darts will pass right through it.

  • Ωbjectifier
    • mardam422

      And the kerning. It’s always the kerning.

    • Boscoe

      …not to mention the fact that it’s only about two inches tall! -And look at that obviously fake tiny “astronaut”!! DO THEY THINK WE ARE IDIOTS???

      • maxneanderthal

        “Dougal, these cows here (points at kids toys) are small. Those (points out of window at distant cattle) are…Far..Away…
        Small (holds up toy)…Far Away(points)…”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Funny thing is, those photos were taken with film cameras. No pixels at all … at least until they hit the intertubez, which is when they become fake.

  • whitroth

    That’s completely silly. We know that the Nazis set up basis in the hollow center of the Earth, and they’re going to come out and Conquer The World any day now.

    And Rebecca’s former neighbor should maybe google the word pogrom.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m interested in how the jews can make their be horrible death-dealing systemic racism by publishing (fake) crime statistics but there’s no way Hitler would have been able to get the germans to target the jews unless they were Really Bad.

      • whitroth

        Of course: “Christ killers!” And they drink the blood of Christian children in their seders. And… um, right, we owe them too much money. Let’s chase them out of the country, and seize everything they own….

  • Carpe Vagenda

    You can’t reproduce Big Bang.

    If you can’t reproduce Big Bang, you’re doing it wrong.

    • Last Hussar

      Me and the girlfriend tend to go for the Big Oh God. It really upsets her kids.

      • mardam422

        Man, you should see my girlfriend’s dog when we recreate the Big Bang.

  • Jennifer R

    Come on Best Carolina stop this shit already.
    https://twitter.com/dominicholden/status/851902651923144706

    • HorseChestnut

      What a great way to commemorate the upcoming anniversary of the Pulse massacre! FOAD, NC GOP.

      • Jennifer R

        And an even greater way to 100% guarantee that NCAA games won’t ever be played in NC again.

        • CripesAmighty

          The center of the universe of stupid.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Assholes!

    • They got Gorsuch now.

  • chazmanr

    post a picture showing the curvature of the earth, and he’ll declare it a fake. Your argument is invalid.

    You can see the curvature of the earth from the top of the Sears Tower (as a lifelong Chicago resident, it will never be Willis Tower). You can see it when flying in an airplane. This guy doesn’t get out much.

    • HorseChestnut

      Apparently, it only looks curved because of atmospheric distortion, or the glass of the airplane window.

      It’s just science*!

    • whitroth

      Um, you can tell the Earth’s not flat by watching a boat sail away from port….

      • Gregory Brown

        In Chicago!

      • nika

        When you look at said boat with binoculars and it reapers in your vision via the zoom did it literally rise back up ?

    • Mr. White

      Or the scores of YouTube videos of people flying their weather balloons to the stratosphere…or…or…or.

  • Edith Prickly

    Nazi dumbass is mad because his Nazi dumbass readers are even stupider than he is. LOLOLOLOLOL

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Lambsendbeds

      I’ll just leave this here:
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9bYlxqWRe3M

    • Gregory Brown

      I firmly believe that Welcome to Night Vale is the direct descendant of Firesign Theater. Peace be upon them.

  • TundraGrifter

    If the earth is flat how come nobody ever saw the edge?

    Or sailed off it?

    • CripesAmighty

      What’d d’ya think happened to the Edmund Fitzgerald, HENGGHH?

      • Gregory Brown

        Yeah! If they sailed off the edge and never came back, how can you prove they sailed off the edge!

      • TundraGrifter

        Then she took off her bikini bottom and said “Would you like to see The Bermuda Triangle?”

    • Emaily

      The clear answer is dragons.

  • m3bosha

    Wait. If it is flat then how can you fly around (across?) the earth, or go on a cruise (my parents did that!). Is it like Ms PacMan? Do you exit one side of the earth and magically appear on the other side of the earth and where exactly does that occur?

    • CripesAmighty

      Yes. At the end of the screen, duh.

    • nika

      Google flat earth model. Or flights on flat earth. You will see visual demonstration. Essentially you travel exactly as you travel. In a straight line from start to destination. Flat earth model shows North Pole as center and ice wall antartica as outer crust. Think of a pizza. Ice all along “Edge” . but thats just an idea. Also maybe flat earth has no edge and you could keep going outwards if only you were not convinced there was nothing else to explore. Multiple theories.

  • Swampay

    where the height of sophisticated humor is taking “JosephGoebbels” as your username

    Only if you pronounce it as “Gerbils”. That’s kinda funny.

  • Ilgattomorte

    You fools! The Earth isn’t flat and it’s not round either. The Earth is shaped like a five sided star …
    … because of the Jews!

    That’s right, they have been secretly reshaping the Earth for centuries now. You all think of those “Jews” were “slaves”, building “pyramids” to store “grain”. Ha! They were reshaping the Earth. Moses didn’t move the ocean for nothing you know. No, they were secretly changing the shape of the Earth into a Star of David. Even the whole Ark thing was done to move stuff around to balance out the star. Come on? Why else would anyone try to save a pair of kangaroos from drowning? Kangaroos are just stupid.

    Even today, why do you think so many Jews are in the construction business? Why do you think they are building all of those settlements in Palestine? Palestine makes up the fourth point on the star. God! You are all so blind!

    But you’ll all see. This is all part of the great Jew plan. Once they have completed the star, then it’s only a matter of time. Soon we’ll all have to be kosher. They’ll make us eat bread without yeast. Forget about shellfish. Soon Veal Parmigiana will be a crime and, even worse, no more shopping on Saturday. Once we have reached that point, well …
    … that’s when the circumcisions begin.

    (Okay, I’ll be waiting for that one reply from that one idiot who thinks I’m serious …)

    • hendenburg2

      Five sided star?

      • Ilgattomorte

        I figured the writer would be a moron. Too subtle?

        • javadavis

          Well, the five-pointed star got my attention, too, and might scare off that one moron due to the brain stutter.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Flazis? What will they think of next…

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Holy shit. Seriously? Plasma is an ionized gas; you can make it in the lab and, yes, you can accelerate in space. The only explanation I can come up with to explain to such a gross level of stupidity is this:

    He was home-schooled.
    He went to a charter High School.
    Did his undergraduate work at Oral Roberts University.
    Got a Master’s at Regents University
    Pursued a second Master’s at Liberty University.
    Got his PhD at Trump University.

  • Jacob Prescott

    I never understand why Nazis try and deny the Holocaust. Especially when they openly admit it wouldn’t be such a bad thing “if” it did happen. Why all this dancing around a subject that you don’t care happened anyway?

    • Boscoe

      Because they need to win the fight against the cartoon liberal that lives in their heads! It’s all about “winning”. See why Trump won? He just plugged directly into their crazy.

    • nika

      I don’t know why Nazis do anything. However if you do look into the gas chamber evidence objectively it’s shockingly problematic . you can’t have gas chambers that can’t be hermetically sealed. Or all the guards would die too. Perhaps even a broken racist neo Nazis clock is right twice a day.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “You can’t have gas chambers that can’t be hermetically sealed.”
        The people who perfected the U-Boat might disagree. But they’re not around anymore, so who really knows, right?

        [Insert “screen-door-on-a-gas-chamber” joke here.}

        • nika

          Ha. I don’t know. Can’t say. I always thought doubting Holocaust was just the worst taste thing not even worthy of breath. Ive visited camps in Germany years ago all felt horrifically legit. However in recent years I started realizing how much propaganda is in our history and o decided to read up on the theories about the Holocaust . It was mind blowing. I don’t feel I figured out exactly what really happened at all. I suspect as lot of it as reported happened the rounding up and camps and even death . But the gas chambers we’re not real. I can say confidently after lengthy research . It was american liberators who told stories of the gas chambers at first. I do believe they went to great extent to fabricate those specific accounts . Perhaps to bolster american pride in the horrors we had conquered. Perhaps that really everybody was dying of typhoid from poor conditions was a less insiring pr campaign. I really do not know . I think there must be do much more to figure out. But there is propaganda in our history . And current news. And often we are emotionally conditioned not to dare ask the most crucial questions. Imo

          • Mind blowing? Oh dear no, it was not mind blowing. It was mind numbing.
            Yes it was real, yes it was really that bad, no propaganda about it. We did not even liberate them until near the end so the BS that it was to bolster American pride is BS.
            The Nazis kept very detailed records of what they did, and to whom, and how many died in this way or that. Because they were serious about it. Trying to pretend it was not really that bad is no different than denying it, and in your words, the worst taste thing not even worthy of breath.

          • Mr. White

            Let’s face it, you’re just an idiot.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            You clearly have very little mind, and it’s much too easily blown.

      • andyshelt

        Time for a new tinfoil hat you fucking Holocaust denying moron.

        Oh and amongst all the idiotic 9/11, moon landing and other conspiracy bullshit on your Disqus comment history there is this absolutely disgusting comment you posted that means you are not just an idiot, you are a worthless piece of shit.

        “If Sanders acts like Sandy Hook isn’t a story riddled with inconsistencies – he’s not the people’s choice.”

        • Mr. White

          The internet can be a cruel mistress when you’re an asshat posting nonsense and stupidity. Well done, Andyshelt

          • andyshelt

            Well, I just find most conspiracy theory bullshit to be utterly ridiculous, idiotic and fairly laughable.

            However, the Sandy Hook conspiracy bullshit really makes me angry due to the sheer lack of empathy and the display of cruelty to the victims who have already been put through unimaginable pain and suffering to then have to deal with complete jizzstains like Nika calling them liars.

      • Not sure where you got that idea, but you are so wrong it is not even funny.
        Objectively speaking.

  • Me not sure

    These guys cannot be real Nazis. Real Nazis know that the Earth is in fact a hollow ball
    with an opening at the south pole and Asgard inside the sphere. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f0fbca39ebaa42e6a70de41ed10dc5aa2b7105fec6ebf94799a451f5ec183c8.jpg

  • bardgal
    • bifski

      HEY MORON…YOU SAID..bardgal‏ @bardgal 16h16 hours ago
      More
      A Forensic Code audit of all machines might prove Dems won in a majority of races thought to go GOP.

      proving again demaclown ignorace…who wants to tell her?

  • Jonny On Maui

    Don’t these idiots watch their own documentaries?

    https://youtu.be/Py_IndUbcxc

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Moon Nazis. I hate Moon Nazis.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Theres a lot of overlap between NeoNazis and White Supremtists and fringe history and pseudoscience. For instance, the Reptilians conspiracy is a thinly veiled hiding of the “Jews run the world” conspiracy. More than few of them were bullish on Trump too. Whatever makes them believe their vile theories about race makes them believe in pseduoscience and other nuttier stuff.

  • hendenburg2

    Honestly, I would really love to see how these idiots could explain the way the Pacific Theater of WWII could have worked on a flat earth.

    • You’ll have to do better than “what war 2” to convince me, I’m a skeptic!

  • My favorite is when they call people who do not believe in Flat Earth Theory “balltards”.

  • Scooby

    Even the Phoenecians think these guys are idiots.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Newton’s Third Law prohibits acceleration in space.”
    This is bad news indeed for anything in orbit. Like planets, for starters.

  • azeyote

    you can fall off the flat earth somewhere around Kansas –

    • TootsStansbury

      We can only hope.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Huh . . . so that’s what’s wrong!

    • r m reddicks

      But who wants to go there other than Toto?

  • TootsStansbury

    Who are these oxygen wasting window lickers and can’t we fire them into space? I don’t
    care if the view convinces them or not; just so they’re outta here.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They can’t accelerate in space, so they’re gone for good!

    • r m reddicks

      To the moon, Alice.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    OK, so I have a great cartoon caption:
    “You must be THIS stupid to ride the Nazi crazy train.”
    Now all I need is the cartoon…

  • Jacuzzi Jeff

    I’d like to think MrBig has old episodes of Sex In The City streaming in the background while browsing conspiracy and white supremacist websites.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      He seems sort of like the depressed Emo Nazi.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The national governments of half a dozen different countries, and all of Europe, and all of their their space and science and technology agencies, are all in on this trillion-dollar “round earth” scam, because ____________.
    Odd how the dumbfucks never, ever fill in that blank.

    • Tony Prost

      “…because they think we’re stupid!”

    • Odd Jørgensen

      For the big ball money.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Not to mention every single navigator of every ship that ever made it out of port.

  • r m reddicks

    Why are the trying to make my head hurt as I pound it on the desk? How Spicer Girl are they? Which brings to mine, “We have met the idiots and they are us.” Put enemy in there if you want.

    • These are the people in charge of our government right now.
      I’d weep but……

  • Oh, goody! We’re getting a Dear Shit Fer Brains from other websites, now? DO THE BLAZE, NEXT!

    • phoenix00

      Complete with Pony!

  • Paperless Tiger

    With flat earth, there are multiple lines of evidence that point in the same direction.

    Yeah, latitude and longitude. Forget about gravity, how do these nitwits explain navigation?

    • Or tides. Or the lunar cycle. Or solar light. Or wind. Or night versus day. Or…..

      • Tony Prost

        Tide goes up, tide goes down…who can explain it…

        • javadavis

          O’Reilly – you are (mis)quoting O’Reilly. He originally said ‘the tide comes in, the tide goes out … who can explain it.” See, with O’Reilly everything is going in and going out.

          • Tony Prost

            thanks for that, wouldn’t want to do the man an injustice!

      • phoenix00

        International Date Line? Equator?

      • Keith Taylor

        Coriolis effect?

  • According to a pair of new studies published in the journal Applied Cognitive Psychology, conspiracy theorists—and there are a lot more of them than you may think—tend to have one thing in common: they feel a lack of control over their lives.

    Nazis are mentally like little children who believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny, because they know they are mostly powerless and The Adults are in charge of their lives.

    These Adults control their universe. They are just jealous of the Awesome Powers these Adults posess.

    Or maybe PIGS REALLY DO LIVE IN TREES?!?!??
    https://youtu.be/dAcHfymgh4Y

  • I bet Wonkette would never close the comments down if we started arguing if the world was made of tapioca or rice pudding.
    Take that, fascists!

    • Tony Prost

      My vote is for tapioca!

      • PsycWench

        I vote chocolate mousse or creme brûlée. #thinkbig

        • Odd Jørgensen

          Obvs brûlée, or we wouldn`t have the crust to walk on. It stands to reason.

    • phoenix00

      Cheesecake or bust!

  • SeeTrain65

    Excalibur is more than welcome to take a long walk into the upper atmosphere to get that non-CGI photo he wants so badly.

  • Paul

    Dinner plates are flat…so that proves the earth is flat also!!

  • Odd Jørgensen
    • phoenix00

      Something something Russell Westbrook something something crazy mofo something something

  • Steven Gleave

    I would love to debate the writer of this article. In person!

    • doktorzoom

      Sure thing. Let’s debate in microgravity during a suborbital flight on Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShip Two. You pay the air/space fare for us both.

  • Mr. White

    We’re at a really bizarre point in history where basically all human knowledge is now at our fingertips – where we can’t keep up with technology instead of technology keeping up with us. It’s produced a strange reaction in the more simple-minded of our species.

  • Jgb979

    I just want Nazi’s to discover the truth behind the BIG CLOROX conspiracy, and realize that drinking bleach is actually the most Aryan thing one can possibly do. Some may claim to be white on the outside, it takes a true believer to be white on the inside.

    Don’t let the Clorox globalist joos tell you it will 100% kill you, show them you know the truth.

  • Simon Faulkner

    HERE IS YOUR SURPOSED UNTAMPED WITH PICTURE……QUITE FRANKLY, ANY ONE WHO STILL Believes THE EARTH IS A GLOBE, IS REALLY STARTING TO WARE THIN…..OPEN YA BLOODY MINDS, instead of ya mouths…THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL SAYING THE EARTH IS A SPHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE BEING PAID TO SAY IT…if this picture is the best you can do to try and show the earth in a picture that’s not been doctored with C.G.I… i WOULD GIVE UP THE GHOST OF THE GLOBE MODEL

    • Simon Faulkner

      & WHILE YOUR THINKING OF AN ANSWER THAT WILL SOUND INTELLIGENT TO MY LAST QUESTION!….(u wont be able to come up with a feesable answer trust me) pls explain ALSO HOW THE NORTH STAR POLARIS HAS BEEN IN EXACTLY THE SAME POSITION SINCE THE BEGINNING OF RECORDS, THOUSANDS OF YEARS……IF WE ARE HURTLING THROUGH DEEP SPACE SPINNING AT 1000MPH….AND OUR GALAXY IS TRAVELLING EVEN FASTER, AND IF POLARIS IS MOVING AWAY FROM US ALSO SPINNING IN ITS GALAXY,,,,HOW THE BLOODY HELL CAN POLARIS REMAIN IN THE SAME POSITION FOR EVEN A COUPLE OF NIGHTS…. NEVER MIND BLOODY THOUSANDS OF YEARS! IN TIME LAPSE ALL THE STARS FORM A PERFECT CIRCLE AROUND POLARIS, AGAIN FOR THE SAME REASONS, THIS SIMPLY WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE IN THE GLOBE MODEL ………WAKE .THE .F**K UP…….

      • The Librarian

        Simon says “wake the fuck up”.

        Yawn, nah, time for sleep….

        • MizzMazz

          I come home after a long day at work, and this is what I find? It’s a joke, right? It’s got to be; someone got the tone and tenor of a stump-stumblin’ uranga-babblin’ whackadoodle with a brain that can be measured in angstroms.

          • The Librarian

            I couldn’t decide if it was a Poe’s Law thing, so I took a chance. Nope, it’s a nut case, certified or otherwise.

        • Simon Faulkner
        • Simon Faulkner

          stay asleep!….better off with out cattle anyway!…..

          • The Librarian

            Moron

          • Simon Faulkner

            we will see who the moron is……. I DIDN’T make the flat earth or bloody globe earth, im just saying my truth from experience, not youtube….alot on here should take a leaf….oh i forgot….they already know it all…….

          • The Librarian

            Lol, your truth from experience? Did you go to the ends of the earth and fall off? Pictures or GTFO.

          • Grokenstein

            I’ve always wondered why Flet Earfers can’t provide photographic evidence of their claims. I suppose the daemons that flit about the edge of the rim destroy any who dare come close.

          • The Librarian

            Not demons, trolls. :)

          • andyshelt

            “im just saying my truth from experience”

            Aah, alternative facts in other words.

            A point of view that was brilliantly discredited by Isaac Asimov in 1980 when he said.

            “There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”

          • HooverVilles

            How about Moran as in the teapartier’s sign that stated “Get a brain moran”
            It’s turtles all the way down.
            Sigh!

      • DensityDestiny

        It’s actually quite tragic that you didn’t break free from gravity. You could have witnessed the spherical shape of the Earth for yourself. Try jumping higher next time.

        • Simon Faulkner

          It’s funny how you lot are quick with the insults but have never got any answers explain to me how gravity holds billions of tons of water to the surface of a ball that is spinning, when I can break the force of Gravity by Simply jumping this same force is supposed to hold billions of tons of water to the surface of a ball, your all mind controlled beyond belief…. The sky is a hologram we are in an enclosed system. period

          • javadavis

            Dood – if you broke the force of gravity by jumping you would not have come back down to earth.
            As to previous post – if a ping pong ball had as much mass as the earth, which it would have to in order to overcome the earth’s pull and hold water on its surface via gravitational pull, then holding it about four feet over the surface of the earth would be a miraculous feat before you even get to the water part.
            .None of which you understand., aas.
            I feel kind of like Moana talking to her chicken.

          • Simon Faulkner

            …..you are 100% wrong…… you’ll catch up don’t worry!….. bless…….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMkdPs8v75c

          • Simon Faulkner

            NEVER HEARD SUCH A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS IN ALL MY NATURAL BORN!.. IF THATS YOUR ARGUMENT I WOULD GO BACK TO YOUR YOUTH CLUB AND SHUT IT!…….YOU MUST BE A COMEDIAN ……WHY DOES SMOKE RISE THEN KNOW IT ALL! …..WHY IS SMOKE NOT AFFECTED BY YOUR SO CALLED GRAVITY???????

          • andyshelt
          • Simon Faulkner

            i know sorry …….

          • Simon Faulkner

            like ya picture pmsl……..

          • HowardFinesucky

            I highly doubt that you were naturally born.

          • Simon Faulkner

            YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED ANYTHING! YOU HAVE JUST REPEATED WHAT YOU THINK IS THE RIGHT ANSWER! WITH NO RESEARCH OR KNOWING WHAT SO EVER..FUNNY HOW PEOPLE THAT KNOW THE LEAST HAVE THE MOST TO SAY!….your mind controlled mate MIND CONTROLLED, JUST BLINDLY ACCEPTING WHAT YOU HEARD ON TV…..MUPPET

          • andyshelt
          • Simon Faulkner

            i know sorry……got carried aawaaayyyyyyy

          • Simon Faulkner

            ill explain because i know your special needs….if i can break gravity’s force, even for a moment by jumping up!, i have still broken gravitys force! the only reason i come back down is because i am denser than air! i am heavier than the air around me!….there is no measurable force pulling anything to the earth ok sweetheart!.YOU HAVE BEEN MIND CONTROLLED OK HUN!
            BLESS!…the only reason things fall is because they are heavier than the surrounding molecules of air!…..smoke is lighter so it rises!….. i know this is way over your head but try and keep up!….in fact don’t bother, you would slow everyone down!.BY EVERYONE I MEAN IN THE MONKEY ENCLOSURE AT TWYCROSS …

        • Simon Faulkner
        • Simon Faulkner

          MAKE A SENTENCE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING DENSE-ITY………….MOTHER… SCREW …THICK…. C**T

  • Simon Faulkner

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b5b49dea2ccf65bad6435c4a785ed7b0ee0bd87b62d74ff4e97c55797e8416f1.jpg HERE IS YOUR SURPOSED UNTAMPED WITH PICTURE……QUITE FRANKLY, ANY ONE WHO STILL Believes THE EARTH IS A GLOBE, IS REALLY STARTING TO WARE THIN…..OPEN YA BLOODY MINDS, instead of ya mouths…THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL SAYING THE EARTH IS A SPHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE BEING PAID TO SAY IT…if this picture is the best you can do to try and show the earth in a picture that’s not been doctored with C.G.I… i WOULD GIVE UP.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    We have fallen short with the Aldrining of Nazis.

  • Simon Faulkner

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f32b53112d133a86b3431b427e21678fa86b4bb6baa48eb34cf355c46dee66c.jpg PLS IF YOU DOUBT THIS PICTURE I HAVE HUNDREDS MORE TO SHOW YOU, THE SKY IS A HOLOGRAM, & AN ENCLOSED SYSTEM!….WE HAVE ALL BEEN MADE A FOOL OF, BECAUSE WE ALL BOUGHT THE GLOBE MODEL AT FIRST!…UNTIL WE THOUGHT ABOUT IT PROPERLY!….

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Bemused Australian

    This flat earth nonsense is a white power red herring.

    All sensible people, and also Nazis, know that the earth is hollow. It is a well documented fact that the Nazi leadership retreated to the Earth’s interior once it became clear they would lose the war. Claiming that the earth is flat is a transparent attempt to keep people from venturing to the poles (by claiming that they are in fact an outer ‘rim’ guarded by NASA) and discovering the entrances to the interior. It is within the earth that they are building their army of conquest, reputedly composed of ideologically programmed clones of Dolph Lundgren.

    Do not be fooled by this mendacious flat-eartherism.

    • Simon Faulkner

      it is in fact a… tube- tore’s …a vortex, a black hole, which leads to the black holed sun Agartha (divine mother) on the flip side!………

    • Keith Taylor

      As a fellow Australian, I agree with you. The Earth is hollow, and there is a whole other world inside, in which the horizon curves away and upward, not away and downward as it does on the outside of the sphere. There is a small sun hanging at the exact centre of that hollow sphere. Top scientist Edgar Rice Burroughs recorded this in AT THE EARTH’S CORE and TANAR OF PELLLUCIDAR. Tarzan even went to the Earth’s core once. There was also a strictly science-based comic book called THE WARLORD set inside a hollow Earth.
      The Nazis aren’t there any more, though. They were eaten by the reptilian Mahars. Their super-soldier clones too. Stay current, mate!

    • Jacob Prescott

      Of course!! The polar ice cap is melting because of all the heat from their mecha-cities underneath. It all adds up. Now if you will excuse me I have to go spread the word in ALLCAPS in some youtube comment sections.

    • pixeloid
  • Brad H

    Sadly, there’s no cure for stupid….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3qFdbUEq5s

    • Simon Faulkner

      Try opening your mind instead of your mouth explain how millions tons of water are held to the surface of a spinning ball, explain why smoke Rises explain why the north star Polaris has not moved one bit in thousands of years if any of these I would shut up all you can do is name call you don’t have anything with any substance non of ya, ya all mind controlled cattle….. The sky is a hologram this is an enclosed system. period

      • Bemused Australian

        A couple of things. You’re confusing velocity and acceleration.

        Acceleration due to gravity at the surface of the earth is 9.8 meters per second per second. The reason you can jump is that your legs are capable of creating an impulse that gives rise to acceleration which is greater than this. The reason you fall back instead of flying off is the aforementioned acceleration due to gravity of 9.8m/s/s. Similarly, the oceans remain stuck to the surface of the earth because they are being accelerated toward its surface at the same rate, which is sufficient to counteract the centripetal force of the earth’s rotation (which is what you refer to when you talk about the spin).

        As for smoke rising, it would not do so in a vacuum, and does not always do so in atmosphere. Smoke is produced by fire, and it is in fact being carried upward by heated air rather than rising itself per-se. Once it enters cool air, it will sink due to being denser than air.

        In terms of Polaris, the question is one of scale. The relative velocities of the earth and polaris might sound impressive, but they’re absolutely miniscule when considered over a time scale of a few thousand years given the distyance from earth to polaris (433 light years, or 4.1 thousand trillion kilometres). It would take more than a few thousand years of observations for the relative motion to be apparent.

        • Simon Faulkner

          WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS…YOUR JUST REPEATING WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID….WHERES YOUR EXPERIMENTS??? WHERES YOUR ANALYSIS….YOURS…..NOT TV’S ANY TWAT CAN REPEAT SOMETHING THEY HEARD!….

          • Bemused Australian

            Sure man. You haven’t actually refuted any of what I said. Perhaps start there rather than insulting me. I responded to your arguments without resorting to insults, so perhaps you could return the courtesy. Additionally, I didn’t learn this from the TV as you assert, I studied first and second year physics as an undergraduate. I’m willing to entertain the possibility that was all wrong, but science is about refutation, and you’ve not refuted anything.

          • Jacob Prescott

            Well put Bemused, but you brought facts to a knife fight. One of the great fallacies that liberals tend to fall in to is that we debate conservatives like we debate each other. When I read your initial response, I thought to myself “this is perfect.” When right wingers read that, all they see is elitism. I respect your attempt at an open, polite, and hones discussion, but that needs to be reciprocated in order for it to be a true discussion. They don’t want a debate, they want to put you in your place and see you cry; good attempt though

        • Simon Faulkner
        • Simon Faulkner

          I HAVE OVER 2000 PICTURES THAT 100%% SHOWS WE ARE IN A ENCLOSED SYSTEM…. AND THE SKY IS A HOLOGRAM….GRAVITY IS BULLSHIT…PERIOD!…YOU’LL GET THERE KEEP AT IT

        • pixeloid

          I don’t think your clearly stated facts can penetrate his tinfoil helmet.

        • HooverVilles

          Nice try but you can’t convince the willingly ignorant.

    • Simon Faulkner
      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        What a load of shit.

    • pixeloid

      Still a classic of tinfoil hat nuttery.

  • Simon Faulkner

    We are in the time of the apocalypse guys apocalypse means the uncovering of Truth, meaning everything we know to date, everything has not been the truth….. This is why it’s called the apocalypse…. Because if we had been given the truth in the first place there will be no need for the apocalypse would there?….Lol … I would say it’s not rocket science,… but even that is fake….Lol..

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Your limited, Biblical definition of apocalypse is not surprising. You have a penchant for self-referential belief systems. Do you have problems with gravity or strong winds?

      Seriously, what is the mechanism for a continuously changing magnetic field that causes traditional navigation by compass to result in “circumnavigation” of the flat earth despite the appearance of a fixed north pole? I await your erudition.

      • Simon Faulkner

        The earth is a self energising mechanism, earth its self is fixed , the sky and stars move around the fixed earth plane!… things i know for sure are these i dont know what shape the land is we are on …but its not a spinning sphere ….. i know we have a dome over our world, i know we can not leave the earth at all……I know there is water surrounding the earth top and bottom!……sun and moon are both within the dome!……thats all i know for certain!…..i dont want to argue with you guys! i would just ask you perhaps watch these videos, and if after watching you still want to linch me…. then at least you will have looked…….ok……i would like pls … all you globe earthers…to watch these videos….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQfN9YaTaWk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEyeFF0KKqA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo3FkfyNBkg these 3…. watch these and if you still hate the flat rhetoric then fair enough….

  • Pamelarsmith

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sq285c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !sq285c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs575DirectDesignerGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sq285c:….,……..

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Simon Faulkner
    • phoenix00

      Thanks for taking the time to prove this article.

      • Simon Faulkner

        i’m not a Nazi…. lol lol…..i don’t care what anyone wants to believe really i don’t…. i’m just stating facts, i have been lucky enough to have the right experiences at the right time in the right place…I can say categorically, the earth is a holographic simulation!….water surrounds the whole earth!…and the sky is covered with a dome called the firmament!….and the sky is a hologram!….THESE ARE FACTS I KNOW AND CAN VERIFY!…….not sure if the earth is flat or triangle….but i know it isn’t what we been told!…..if we had been told the truth….there would be no need for the Apocalypse now would there!… …..Everything you think you know is wrong i’m afraid!…..im nothing special either cause i had it all wrong too!….but i got a very open mind…and i dont ever cling to an idea or thought form……you should take a leaf…..

        • phoenix00

          So basically if you were somehow given sufficient “facts” you could become a Nazi? Or you’re already a Nazi and don’t know it yet? I seriously can’t tell between your reposting of the same stupid pointless video clip, the unconvincing “evidence”, and the ALL CAPS CIRCULAR REASONING OMG BECKY LOOK AT HER BUTT ITS SO BIG VANILLA ICE ICE BABY

          I’m just gonna go ahead and block you now, and look forward to your ignominious return this coming Sunday.

          • Simon Faulkner

            i thought my last text was pleasant! oh well!….of course im not a bloody nazi…..but hey if it floats your boat to call people nazi’s …knock yourself out, & my video clip photos and small info is more than u have offered!… & if your not threatened by it why block!… im only nasty, when others give me shit!…. i treat as i find

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          Oh, no. Of course you’re not a Nazi. You’re just a deluded ungrammatical fool. Bet you can’t do math.
          https://manyworldstheory.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/einstein_equation.jpg

    • Keith Taylor

      Some adults may be talking here, but I have my doubts that one of them is named Simon Faulkner. Maybe I’m gullible, but Isaac Newton, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C, Clarke, Carl Sagan, Johannes Kepler, Albert Einstein and the rest, kind of impress me. While you kind of don’t.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Simon is angling for a star appearance in the Dear Shit-fer-Brains column. I’d say his chances are excellent.

      • Simon Faulkner

        all those guys you mention are 33 degree masonic scum! period do ya homework! your prob a mason yourself!….stop believing everything you hear on the bloody tv…..for gods sake…..have some thoughts of your own keith…….

  • Villago Delenda Est

    OK, that’s it.

    We have to destroy the Internet before we drown in derp.

  • andyshelt

    So who would have guessed that putting Nazi and flat earthers in the title of a post would have acted as the Internet equivalent of catnip for morons?

    If I was a little more cynical, I would suspect that Dok is going on holiday again and just wanted to attract enough tinfoil hat nutjobs to Wonkette in order to generate enough material to bank a couple of quick “Dear Shitferbrains” posts before leaving.

    Say it ain’t so Dok?

    • arensb

      Nobody could have known that derp could be so complicated.

    • doktorzoom

      No vacay for me for a while!

  • HowardFinesucky

    Wow.

  • Bemused Australian

    Someone should introduce them to the wonders of Timecube.

    http://timecube.2enp.com/

  • Grokenstein

    “they shovel race mixing propaganda down our throats”
    DRINK!

    “just so long as we can take back our world, whatever shape it may be”
    Uh…I think you’re confusing different types of “alien” here, Adolph.

  • Elvin Mendez

    why does the nasa or united nations use a flat earth picture and not the globe earth picture. Why does the simpsons in a chapter when they are playing baseball he hits a homerun and breaks the sky and water starts rushing out. Why in the simpsons movie they use the flat earth using like a type of a shaped crystal that is the same used in the history of other cultures explaining the earth and its form.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Why aren’t there real giant donuts rolling around town? Or mobs with torches and pitchforks? Wait, maybe that last one was South Park.

  • Internet Hitler

    These posters cannot get a woman to have sex with them.
    So reproduction cannot be reproduced.
    So birtherism is a lie!
    So that proves – they’ve never been born!!

  • boredcatlady

    I can’t believe I missed this article the first time around. Wowzers.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I BELIEEEEEEVE I can fly!!!!

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