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Cliven Bundy, safe at home. Scott Drexler, ready to shoot some feds.

Good ol’ welfare “rancher” Cliven Bundy and his supporters are finally facing trial for their Great Big Freedom Standoff with the federal government (the Nevada one in 2014, not the Oregon one in 2016, which only involved Bundy’s sons Ammon and Ryan). Of course, if Cliven Bundy has his druthers, he’ll get his case separated from the trial of his followers, because now he’s contending that he didn’t have nothing to do with no armed “stand-off” with the feds.

As Forbes columnist JJ MacNab, an expert on militia wingnuts and Sovereign Citizen types, explained in a series of tweets earlier this week, Bundy has filed a request to sever his case from the other defendants. Here’s the motion!

That’s some excellent lawyerin’ there! The motion argues Bundy shouldn’t be tried with those riffraff who got into an armed confrontation with federal law enforcement officers, because while the militia folks he summoned to come protect him went out — of their own accord — to go stop the feds from seizing his starving cattle, Bundy himself stayed safe at home. He never carried a gun while speaking to any federal agents, never threatened any federal agents, and definitely never pointed any guns at federal law enforcement officers, no sir! (Missing from the motion is any mention of Bundy’s contention that the Bureau of Land Management has no right to have armed officers, because why would he muddy the issue once he gets to court?) Bundy peacefully stayed home while his followers went out and played Freedom Fighter, aiming sniper rifles at the feds, and by golly, he never even asked anyone to go confront the feds, no he did not. He is shocked, shocked, that anyone would think he was somehow the leader of these free men who happened to show up to protect the brave rancher from a tyrannical, out-of-control bunch of government agents.

As MacNab explains (we’ll copypaste several tweets here),

Bundy went to court, argued his case [regarding his failure to pay grazing fees — Dok Z.] & lost. The appropriate response would have been to appeal his case. Instead he hyped up 410 angry people and sent them into a wash to intimidate fed LEOs into releasing impounded cattle. Bundy’s plan worked.

It was a successful act of violent civil disobedience.

1) Bundy got his cattle released, and 2) it generated huge attention to his cause.

Bundy convinced a lot of people to break laws on his behalf. Civil disobedience, whether peaceful or violent, has a trade off. The benefit: the release of the impounded cattle + attention for cause. The cost: those who participated by breaking the law can go to jail.

One day, maybe, supporters will take a critical look at what Bundy told them and realized they were used. Probably not, though. There’s already some indication that Cliven Bundy will try to distance himself from what happened at the wash on 4/12/2014. While he sent hundreds of angry men, women, and children to confront the feds that day, he stayed home.

Attorneys for the militia dudes charged with threatening federal officers argue the Feds were actually so completely out of control and tyrannical that Bundy supporters had no choice but to pack heat when they went out to demand the release of Bundy’s cattle, so of course setting up sniper positions on an overpass was REALLY just a matter of self defense. Unfortunately for them, U.S. District Judge Gloria Navarro isn’t allowing any testimony about the days leading up to the armed confrontation. The defense attorneys wanted to introduce as evidence videos of federal officers using stun guns against Bundy’s sons and tackling a demonstrator, but the judge wasn’t having it:

Navarro sided with the federal government when she ruled that testimony related to authorities’ pre-standoff behavior was “irrelevant to whether there’s excessive force or reasonable force” on the day of the standoff. A self-defense argument is permissible only if there is evidence that police’s actions were not “objectively reasonable,” Navarro ruled.

Defense attorney Todd Leventhal said the case against his client, Idaho resident Scott Drexler, hinged on “whether or not it was reasonable to go over there and think that he’d get shot.”

Drexler — who on the day of the standoff was photographed pointing a long gun through a jersey barrier on a highway bridge — argues that the officers’ excessive force made his actions defensible.

Bummer. It’s almost as if the militants’ expectation that they’d have the chance to start a whole new American revolution is working against them instead of serving as their defense.

They probably shouldn’t expect Cliven Bundy to stand up for them either. He’s pretty sure he barely even knows those guys.

Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations, so if you’d be kind enough to click the “Donate” linky below, we’ll be eternally grateful. Of course, if any member of your team is taken captive, we’ll deny ever knowing you. It’s the American Way!

[LA Times / JJ MacNab on Twitter / Las Vegas Review-Journal]

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  • The Wanderer

    So much for solidarity.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I know, right? What are these guys, like, Democrats of sumpin’?

    • Amy!

      And now, the Patriot’s Chorus, singing “Solidarity”:

      “Solidarity’s for suckers.
      Solidarity’s for suckers.
      Solidarity’s for suckers!
      You need your own longarm!”

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    This fucking guy!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Not to worry. President Bannon or President Jared or President Putin or whoever the President happens to be that day will give Cliven a full pardon

    • kaydenpat

      And give him a high falutin Cabinet position to boot.

      • FlownΩver

        It’s one of my life’s great satisfactions that I have never, ever faluted. Nay, not once.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I’ve medium-faluted and it never got me anything.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            And the low falutin brings nothing but tears and recriminations :(

  • Me not sure

    As long as we’re making up rules as we go along here’s mine:
    1. If any part of a foot or leg is across a yellow lane marker and I should run over it with my car I’m not at fault.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s the Stand Your Lane defense.

      • Me not sure

        I’m white, so that should work.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The defense will now enter into evidence an annotated copy of The Turner Diaries.

    • wait! what?

      Terry Nichols for the defense…

  • Wild Cat

    His flounder-faced son was already thrown under the car, so why not?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It’s almost as if a person whose concern for his bottom line used people who have twisted ideas about how to make America great again to serve his own purposes. Wonder where he got that idea?

    • Crystalclear12

      Or gave that idea to?

  • chicken thief

    I hardly knew the guards at Auschwitz that gassed the Jews!

    ~ A. Hitler

  • schmannity

    Bundy invokes the Popeye’s Organization Defense. Brilliant!

    –Ben Carson

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    To my surprise, Kris Kristofferson is still alive. This means there is nothing stopping an enterprising producer from making a Bundy Boys movie.
    He called his buddies for help… but they had other plans in mind!

    • Wild Cat

      Remember when he was a thing?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Breaker breaker Rubber Ducky.

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        He was a sailor. He was born upon the tide.

    • FlownΩver

      Freedom’s just another word for blame it on your friends.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        lol!

  • JMP

    How can I be responsible for a bunch of armed lunatics actually listening to what I ask them to do?

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      ‘I wuz just sayin’ sum dum shit bout whut they shud be doin. How wuz I spected to no they wuz payin attenshun?’

  • Anna Elizabeth

    You mean to tell me that a gun-humping Militia-type is also a Stupid Coward with zero loyalty?

    I’m simply shocked. /s

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    JJ MacNab! – Hire her. She is great on reporting on wingnuts.

    JJ miss you from Quatloos. Please write for Wonkette.

  • Anna Rompage

    Oh god, not these assholes again….

  • Crystalclear12

    A real American hero.

  • stankbait

    Let me tell you a thing about the gun toting hayseed.
    They actually believe the shit they say. Even if all
    they are doing is parroting Ted Nugent Mr. Poopy Pants

  • Fartknocker

    I hope when he’s sitting in his jail cell that he writes a wonderful novel about how Lloyd Finicum was such a brave patriot for attempting to kill an Oregon police office but because the police officer was a better marksman, Lloyd took a dirt nap. All the while Cliven was at home, he didn’t know anything, and he has pictures of Michelle Fiore’s enhanced tits while she was cleaning his favorite pistol. And he still has a partial 55 gallon drum of sex lube from the Oregon standoff.

  • Nounverb911
    • HogeyeGrex

      THEY KILLED KENNY!

      • FlownΩver

        YOU BASTARDS!

  • Anna Rompage

    But this Alex Jones annotated pocket constitution, that came with the
    free pound of trucker speed, said we were well within our rights!

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    He could just take the stand and open with ‘I want to tell you one more thing I know about the cowboys …’.

  • memzilla Ω

    Next up: the “Your Honor, my client has a brain the size of a Brazil nut and the self-control of a rabbit on Cialis®” defense.

  • jesuswasablack

    Didn’t one of his sons get thrown under a bus or a truck or something?
    http://thatoregonlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/ryanbundy.jpg

    • javadavis

      It was a farming accident with a tractor. I wouldn’t hold his looks against him. He had so many voluntary traits that you could hold against him instead that it is not only a cheap shot but a Wasted cheap shot.

      • Jennifer R

        His dad ran him over and they didn’t see a doctor about it for seven years.

        • javadavis

          Figgers. Still not a reason to hold his looks against him. He was too young to take his own self to doctor and get it fixed up.
          EDIT – also, figgers I didn’t have the whole story. Thanks for fleshing it out.

          • jesterpunk

            I believe he should have pulled himself up by his bootstraps and carried himself to the doctor with them.

          • puredog

            And then paid the doctor in cash for his treatment.

          • FlownΩver

            Or in chickens.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I can just hear his old man yelling at him. “C’mon ya piss ant crybaby; walk it off! It’s just a scratch!”

          • jesuswasablack

            Figgers, what exactly does that mean? What’s next prolly? Lighten up sweetheart, it’s fucking wonkette!

          • javadavis

            hey, maybe you can send my the style guide so that I can meet with your approval.

          • Jennifer R

            It’s a low blow on a tree composed of low hanging fruit I agree.

          • javadavis

            Well put!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bless his heart.

    • Damian L

      LMAO!

    • kaydenpat

      Ouch!! Too mean.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Picasso

      • Bill D. Burger

        Dali

        • Crank Tango

          Pollock.

    • vivian

      His dad backed over his head. No really. That’s what happened.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    This isn’t how LaVoy’s book ended at all.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    alleged “standoff”?

    alleged?

    FFS^/infty

  • Bill D. Burger

    The Ballad of the Bundys:
    (AKA: Welfare Cowboy!)

    ♪┏ ♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪__Oh give me a home
    Next to land I don’t own
    Where well armed
    Militia pricks play
    Where Rightie wingnuts adore
    All Bagger calls fer’ range war
    Over grazing fees
    I ain’t gonna’ pay.

    Home, home
    I’m deranged.
    We’ll ignore
    What the federal courts say.
    And make ar’ own goddamned rules
    And keep acting like fools,
    While my cows MOOch off the guvment’ all day!__ ♪┏(・o・)┛♪┗♪

  • Lefty Frizzell

    …and I’ll just reiterate my previous request that they DNA test everybody at the ranch to establish who parented the 50 Bundy grandchildren.

  • javadavis

    Cliven is experienced at the whole cognitive dissonance thing. He was filmed riding around on his horse carrying a US flag to show off his patriotism for his followers either just before or just after he gave them another big speech about how the US government is invalid. They apparently thought it was a rousing display of real patriotisms, too.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Rather like all those ‘patriots’ carrying around the Dixie Swastika.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Since it was the subject of 4 independent judgements and an armed standoff, has the fucker at least paid his fees or given up his cattle?

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Ah, second good chuckle I’ve had this afternoon!

  • All of these Bundy followers, and the Bundys, have watched WAY too many westerns. HEY IDIOTS! THAT SHIT WASN’T REAL! THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THAT WORKED!

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      No, they watched the _wrong_ westerns. Less John Wayne, more Clint Eastwood and Tim Olyphant.

      • puredog

        Deadwood Olyphant or Justified Olyphant?

        • Yellerduck

          Hey, you know why Olyphants paint their toenails red?

          So they can hide in a strawberry patch!

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            I don’t believe you. I’ve never seen an Olyphant in a strawberry patch.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            That’s how well it works!

        • FlownΩver

          Ear Olyphant.

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Both

  • kaydenpat

    Shorter Bundy: Throw the fellow militia-ites under the bus, drive over them, reverse, and drive over them again. You got to be sure about this.

  • jesterpunk

    How long until those Republicans who supported Cliven Bundy and his kids come to their defense?

    https://thinkprogress.org/as-the-bundy-brothers-occupy-a-federal-building-here-are-the-gop-candidates-who-supported-their-dad-8acb5b382bad

    • boyblue122

      the bundy bunch were just pawns to push forward a political agenda. The republicans dont care what happens to them now

      • jesterpunk

        So you are saying Cliven Bundy and those republicans have something in common?

        • boyblue122

          exactly lol

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Damn, who let these crickets in the house?

  • Nightcrawler

    Welcome to America. Where angry white dudes in camo and armed to the teeth can take over a federal building and get off like nothing happened because patriots or something.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Hey cowboys – Wyatt Earp was very big on gun control. Just sayin’

    • Thiazin Red

      Wasn’t the shootout about people having to leave their guns with the sheriff when they cam into town?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Prize for the first defendant to compare himself to Rosa Parks.

    • TJ Barke

      Didn’t they already do that?

  • Bill D. Burger

    I cannot understand how this man hasn’t been pardoned and given a cabinet position.

    http://sociallyurban.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Racist-Rancher-Blog-tear-border-300×295.png

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’d think his dodging of paying his debts alone would have made him a prime candidate for Secretary of Agriculture.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Perhaps. But I wonder if Donnie would put up with someone else working his side of the street.

      • Seek

        Not rich enough. His net worth is too low for this administration. That’s the real reason they haven’t filled all of the political appointments. They’ve run out of willing billionaires and multi-millionaires

        • Angry Hour

          Didn’t Michele Bachman warn against this very thing? We are running out of rich people.

  • Anna Rompage

    So John Lame the desperado of Gold Butte never organized anyone to come to his ranch, yet somehow 100’s of armed people showed up and lived on his property for months in effort to protect his cattle….

    Why that sounds as believable as Billy the Kid shooting a bullet that was fired from another gun, right out of the sky…

  • Sheepshagger

    You know who else never carried a gun?

    • Anna Rompage

      Jeebus, as he was bare backing the easter bunny?

      • Sheepshagger

        I was thinking more Reinhard Heydrich, but sure.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Jesus and Heydrich make ol’ Brezhnev and Honecker seem like a couple of prudes by comparison!!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Harry Potter?

    • Zonath

      Sonam Gyatso, the 3rd Dalai Lama?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Good thing or he would have shot the 1,000,000th person who said, “Hello Dalai” to him.

        • weejee

          Louie Armstrong libel.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Hey! That guy Desmond Doss ___played by Andrew Garfield in the new flick ‘Hacksaw Ridge.’
      Nailed it!

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        But, he carried the morphine. In my neighborhood, that would require carrying a gun.

        • Bill D. Burger

          He was a brave lad.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Obi-Wan Kenobi? Oh, wait, there was that little incident on Utapau; we won’t hold that against him, much…

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Pope Frank? But, he has backup guys .

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Genghis Khan?

    • Doug Langley

      Columbo?

    • Nockular cavity

      Everyone, before the 15th Century?

    • Angry Hour

      MacGyver

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Sweeney Todd?

  • Ryan Denniston

    No honor among thieves huh? Who would have guessed?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Commenting Rules for Radicals prevent me from expressing my true feelings about all “sovereign citizens” and how the Feds should have dealt with them. We know darn well that the Donald regime will not do jack shit about these scumbags.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey thats not true, if Trump gets rid of Bannon and Reince they may get a cabinet position. Either that or Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III will give them a position in the Justice Department.

    • Yellerduck

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; It’s all fun and games until the first Apache breaks the tree line.

      • marxalot

        I calmly ask people, “what exactly do you think your AR-15 and legal hairsplitting will do against the 101st Airborne?” You would think that this strain of nut would have thought more fully about that possibility.

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          Why would they start thinking now?

  • Michael R
    • Villago Delenda Est

      What the hell is Daenerys Targaryen doing in that photo?

    • boyblue122

      The Bundy militia makes those Bundys look like Einstein

  • Red Bird Ω

    How white of him.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Really is, when you stop to think about it.

  • Jenny

    Oh man, I totally forgot about these guys.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Me too.
      Thanks a LOT, Dok.

    • Sister the Resister

      Try living near the ol’ “Jefferson State” crowd, you’ll never forget. What a bunch of wankers, and load obnoxious ones at that.

  • weejee
    • jesterpunk

      Woah man what did Al Bundy and King Kong Bundy ever do to you? They are no where near as bad as the other 2 on that list.

      • weejee

        I always found it a bit amusing that Ted was an up-and-comer with the GOP out here in Washington State. But hey, Mad didn’t give Al and King Kong as many check marks as the other two, and Cliven beat Ted by 2.

      • goonemeritus

        Not Bad? Al is the best part of America, to deny the Al Bundy in ourselves is to deny our essence.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Yessir :spit: my understandin’ :spit: was that them thar fellas was doin’ all them standoffs theyselves:spit:. In fact’n they got that idea not from me but from two gay cowboys :spit: on yonder brokeback mountain. I :spit: had nuffem to do with it :spit:

  • Chadwells
  • Hairstrike Alpha

    We need to send Cliven and sons to Lower Uncton, England. Those poor daft bastards still need Bundy men to sacrifice…

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Thespian Pony Ron

      It’s so crazy, it just might work!
      Go on, boys, give it a try!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    There is a lesson here for all patriotic wingnuts. Unfortunately, the Zionist Occupational Government is hiding it in a UN bunker guarded by FEMA agents in Mena, Arkansas.

    • Bill D. Burger

      *Bunker and all accommodations provided by Walmart. ___ Jade Helm was only the beginning.

  • Jo Mathie

    “One day, maybe, supporters will take a critical look at what Bundy told them and realized they were used.”
    Isn’t that basically America at the moment?

    • georgiaburning

      Feb. 30th?

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      For a sufficiently large value of ‘maybe.’

  • HogeyeGrex

    Lock. Them. Up.

    Please.

  • Anna Rompage

    Maybe Cloven Dumbie could learn this before he heads to the pokie, so that he can teach it to the rest of the folks on the chain gain work crew…. I hear Gospels are quite popular on the chain gang

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdSlLRIIfJQ

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT, but still weird Mormon with special logics.

    https://twitter.com/daveweigel/status/850035553357713408

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As I tweeted to Dave, /rolls eyes to somewhere near Senegal

  • Lefty Wright

    Well, based on the reasoning of the jury in Washington in the Malheur trial, especially juror number 4, who most likely spent the entire time trying to convince his fellow jurors there was no conspiracy or coordination going on since there were no signed statements, the defense just needs to get one juror to believe Scott Drexler was just sighting his new scope and rifle and wasn’t aware there were federal agents down range. And he was really embarrassed when he saw them on the news. It was all a misunderstanding.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      prove that there gun was even loaded!!!

      I demand to see a constitutional sheriff.

      • TJ Barke

        Maybe I should become a sheriff just so I can put the boot to these aholes.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          I wouldn’t mind being a Sheriff ifn’ I could be like Andy Taylor…

          or even Barney.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Crystalclear12

      Couldn’t happen to a nicer fella.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’d give it all up for one on Donald.

        • Crystalclear12

          Let’s normalize impeachment!

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      Looks like the wheels are coming off that Bentley.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Why did I ever consider going to law school? Alls you gotta do is put the phrase so-called in front of a bunch of “other” “phrases” “in” “quotes” and yer good.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I approve of your so-called “comment”.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Hooray. They didn’t get them from us.

      • Crystalclear12

        It’s the small things.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s a switch from Iraq, where we knew Saddam had them because we had the receipts that Rummy brought back with him.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      ‘Dammit, you were supposed to show the American ones! Thank goodness we made sure the missiles didn’t hit any!’

  • Paperless Tiger

    He had a good deal, but he wanted it free. That’s a hard bargain.

  • wait! what?

    If you treat the Constitution like it’s a towel, don’t be surprised when your ass gets snapped by it.

  • jowgajen
    • NastyBossetti

      It feels like I spend most of my time anymore trying to figure out if I should laugh or cry.

      • FlownΩver

        Yes, you should.

        • Sister the Resister

          I agree, best to do both. Strangely, it’s the only reasonable response.

        • NastyBossetti

          Ok. That actually does clear it up. I can do both at once, if I’m short on time.

      • Jennifer R

        I am planning to get stoned and play D&D tonight, I suggest you try it.

        • NastyBossetti

          I tried D&D once, and it did not go well. I am in my late 30s, had never played before, and I tried to do something that to me seemed logical (don’t remember what it was) and our friend who was running the game basically said, “See, that’s why girls don’t play.” And I said, “No, attitudes like that are why girls don’t play.” And we haven’t spoken of it since.

          • Jennifer R

            That sounds awful. Fuck that guy’s attitude.

          • NastyBossetti

            Yeah it really pissed me off, and I think MrBossetti basically ducked for cover when it happened. He’s one of my best friends, actually, so I was very surprised. I think he just regresses when he plays because he’s been playing with the same group of dudes since they were young teenagers.

          • Jennifer R

            I have a group composed solely of poly pan furry trans women. I think it is a blast. One person plays a house cat that walks and talks and is a monk.

          • NastyBossetti

            That sounds like a lot of fun!

          • Jennifer R

            It really is. It’s my only social thing I do besides talk here on the wonkette.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Might as well ask if racism was a factor in 2008 or 2012 with that panel.

      • jowgajen

        Is Scarlett Johansson’s casting as Major in Ghost in the Shell whitewashing? Our panel discusses…

    • Sister the Resister

      slap my fucking head

  • Thespian Pony Ron

    Why Cliven, you darling boy, it would seem that you’re really just a big ol’ coward after all! Bless your rotted black heart!

  • Anna Rompage

    Holy wind storm batman!

    Got to work today just in time for a 100’+ Doug fir to be knocked over by the wind, taking out two transformers on its way down, and killing the power to the entire area.

    Got sent home as it’ll likely be hours before the power is back on.

    The drive home was quite surreal; high winds, the roadways covered in small/medium sized tree branches, and small debris dropping from the trees, flying all around, and bouncing off of my car

    Got home to find the power is out here too, and just in time to shore up the fence before it was blown over. The strength of the wind was actually enough to break two of the fence posts off at the ground.

    100,000s of people are without power in the north western section of the state.

    It’s cray cray out there Portland, be safe out there!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not so windy down here in Track Town, but still pretty windy. Got a report of a power outage in the South Hills earlier in the day, though.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Pretty windy right now on the Washington-Idaho border. My neighbor’s untrimmed, half-dead, 100′ tall locust tree is really bothering me .

        • Anna Rompage

          Fortunately the wind is coming from the south, and there’s not really any chance any of the big trees hitting my house if they happen to come down

          BTW, locust is good burning wood, though some varieties smell like shit when burned

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Gotta love the Northwest. We go out into the woods and eradicate trees like they’re noxious weeds, then surround our houses with them

          • Anna Rompage

            Have you ever looked at a satellite view of the cascades & coast range on google maps?

            It reminds me of a green checkered table cloth at an Italian joint, with all the clear cuts…

          • Sister the Resister

            Me too, Anna! I’ve been told by those who know such things that it has to do with the way they lease (?) the tracts for logging, alternating with tracts that are growing new timber. But very strange looking, indeed, and more restaurant than agriculture from the air.

      • Sister the Resister

        I know here in the southern Willamette Valley, we’ve been relatively blessed (my pals out on the Oregon coast are really seeing some nasty shit), but I have a lot of bamboo and shrubs around my house, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard them make so much noise knocking against the house. Not so much a steady gale, as big gusts amid strong winds. Very scary out there, and I’m glad I don’t have much driving to do today. Supposed to calm down before nightfall, I think, but yikes!

        • Jennifer R

          I would be more concerned about zombie infested shopping malls if I lived anywhere near where you did.

          • Sister the Resister

            Oh, zombies are easy… you just shove them aside and try not to get any gooey stuff on your hands ;)

    • MynameisBlarney

      Damn!
      Stay safe!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Holy batshit, man!

      • Anna Rompage

        Yeah, it’s been crazy around here all day, huge crazy winds, lots of trees down due to the saturated soil…

        It’s a shit show, that’s for sure!

        • Lance Thrustwell

          East coast here. Lotsa rain,a little wind.

          • Sister the Resister

            PNW-style!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Pretty Nice Weather? Nasty Weather? Pusillanimous Neo-Brobdignagian Wombat?

          • Sister the Resister

            Pusillanimous Neo-Brobdignagian Wombat is the name of my new electric baroque torch song band.

            (actually it means Pacific NorthWest)

          • MynameisBlarney

            We’re getting the opposite here in the Keys.
            LOTS of wind. nooooo fuckin rain.
            And this morning, there was smoke blowing in from somewhere. Their was a noticeable haze and it smelled like burning fiberglass and tires.

          • Anna Rompage

            Cooking steaks at the Mar-A-Lago?

          • I’ll bring the marshmallows!

          • Anna Rompage

            “Um, President Trump, how come this steak smells like the air in Beijing?” “And why is it the texture of bad shoe leather?” Xi Jinping

          • Tastes like it too

          • MynameisBlarney

            HA!
            Brilliant!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            I love the smell of carcinogens in the morning.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Smells like…*inhales deeply through the nasals*…cancer.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            If you get our weather a day later, as has been happening a lot lately, expect snow and nasty wind tomorrow.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Urgh. You Northeast?

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            No, but as the g/f lives in Baltimore and we chat every evening, I have noticed that whatever weather WE get, YOU get a day later. At least 80% of the time. Basically, you’re downwind of us.

    • Sister the Resister

      Stay safe, Anna R! I learned my lesson years ago (okay, took me two different storms to get it) when I went to pull big branches out of the road in front of my house, only to have one thick as a small tree crash down about 3 feet from where I was standing. Sometimes its better to wait to go out and do storm damage.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Just righted a storage canopy, tracked down all the legs (one made it onto the roof!) & wired that sucker to the ground. Stupid me for not having it secured before, but now we’re ready to rock n roll. Bring it, wind. ;)

      Oh, southern/central, off I-5 here.

      • Anna Rompage

        Glad to hear you were able to recover all the bits & pieces….

        I am so happy today, that I drove fasteners down into the concrete to secure my woodshed, otherwise it would be a gonner…

        • Prof. T. Green Bastard

          Man, that is good timing! Good for you getting it done.

          I was able to get my stuff back in place by waiting for gusts & using the top like a sail. :D

      • Sister the Resister

        yeah, my car canopy pulled partially apart overnight, but didn’t fly away because it’s tethered to the house and a couple of sandbags. Surprised it didn’t have branches going straight down through it.

        • Anna Rompage

          Glad to hear your fairing okay through this all.

          I’ve heard the central Willamette got hit pretty hard too

        • Prof. T. Green Bastard

          Mine stayed in the backyard b/c it had a cinder block attached, which it was dragging & bouncing around like a toy last night. A huge branch came off one of my trees & hit the roof, too. Doesn’t appear to have damaged it, fortunately.

          Glad you made it w all your bits n bob’s too. :) Be safe, it’s supposed to be like this for a few days, I saw.

    • Jenny

      Why are you guys getting all my crazy spring Texas weather?!?!?

      Damn you climate change!

    • marxalot

      We’re expecting another round of high wind here in the desert– last week we almost got blasted into Death Valley, we’ll see what the weekend holds. Thankfully, my apartment is fairly sheltered and my parking is covered.

      • Anna Rompage

        Where are you at? Anywhere near Trona by chance?

        • marxalot

          Las Vegas (not the one in New Mexico), baby!

    • Windy also too here. Additionally, there was motherfucking SNOW on the ground when i left for work this morning

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Same. Fucking stuff was comeing down HORIZONTALLY last night.
        And by noon it was almost all gone, but all the spots on the lawn where I’d already picked up branches left by the LAST wind storm are full of branches again.

        • Another reason to enjoy apt living.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            I suppose. But here I have 3000 square feet of professionally restored 1895 vernacular house, a 3 car garage, an actual magnolia tree and as much garden as I want to be responsible for. If it means occasional tidying up of branches I can live with it.

          • For me, it’s the snow shoveling that does not appeal. Also, i have the black thumb of death with anything gardening/landscape related

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            Not crazy about shovelling myself, which is why we have a 1951 Farmall Cub for the driveway. Not that I’ve needed it much the last couple of years.

        • Anna Rompage

          That was my drive home… It was pretty nuts and vaguely apocalyptic..

      • Major_Major_Major

        Is say I feel for ya, but then I remember that we have DJT as POTUS, and you have JT as C-POTUS.

  • marxalot

    OT, but have y’all seen this new piece of spicy, fiesty infighting? I may have to learn who Tomi Lahren is after all.

    • Anna Rompage

      She’s a young hoofwanking bunglecunt, made in the mold of a Lush Limpballs, with a kind of pretty face…

      • TJ Barke

        She’s just a greedy little shit.

        • Anna Rompage

          With a soul as black as coal…

          • TJ Barke

            She has a soul?

          • Sister the Resister

            She’s a young hoofwanking bunglecunt,
            made in the mold of a Lush Limpballs,
            with a kind of pretty face…

            She’s just a greedy little shit.
            With a soul as black as coal…

            She has a soul?

            I’m pretty sure we could set this to music…

    • TundraGrifter

      After looking at those Brooke Shields’ eyebrows, I don’t think her drapes match her carpet.

  • msanthropesmr
    • Thespian Pony Ron

      I miss having someone(s) small and fuzzy to cuddle so fucking much these days.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Git one!

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          Housemate is against the idea. I’m not sure she actually has any idea why, but it’s tempting to present her with a fait accompli, because I’m quite convinced I cannot cope without any more.

  • sadboy

    I’m gonna drink a toast to you, Mr. Bundy. From the beginning you hated the BLM. And then you thought up this whole idea. And you managed to keep your skirts nice, and starched, and clean, even in the trial. Your followers and sons will always be remembered as a traitors. But you, you’ll publish your novel, you’ll make a million bucks, you’ll marry a big movie star, and for the rest of your life you’ll live with your conscience, if you have any. Now here’s to the real author of “The Oregon Standoff.” Here’s to you, Mr. Bundy. (splashes wine in Bundy’s face) If you wanna do anything about it, I’ll be outside. I’m a lot drunker than you are, so it’ll be a fair fight.

    (with regards to Jose Ferrer and Fred MacMurray)

  • Painter of Goats

    How sad is it that a story about Cliven Bundy is a refreshing change from anything about our “President”.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      We’re driven to Cliven!

  • not_vh

    it’s really amazing, given the right circumstances, how much one can get away with. one such guy even became a president!

  • Serai 1

    Wingnuts are such utter cowards.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Part of the DNA.

  • not_vh

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5EofwRzit0

    we’ve come too far to give up who we are.
    paraphrase:
    we’re up all life to have some fun
    we’re up all life to get fucky

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    What’s missing here? That’s right, “A good guy with a gun”.

    NRA employee accidentally shoots himself at headquarters

    http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/327913-nra-employee-accidentally-shoots-himself-at-headquarters

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I thought they didn’t allow guns at the NRA.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        He was teachin’ gun safety.

        The last demonstration had a huge impact.

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          On which part of the teacher’s body?

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Below the holster is all they offer.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            So, it was a brain injury?

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        I thought that as well. After all, they know who their members are.

    • Hahhahahahahhahahaha!!!!!

      (I am a good person! I totally checked to make sure it was a non-fatal shooting BEFORE cackling with glee!)

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        If it was a groin shot, he’s up for a Darwin award.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Shootin’freude libel!

    • anwisok

      During a gun safety class. DURING A GUN SAFETY CLASS! DURING A GUN SAFETY CLASS!!!! You can’t make this shit up, folks. *chuckle*

    • marxalot

      “Headquarters,” eh? Isn’t it usually “hindquarters?” Oh, heck, who can tell the difference!

    • TundraGrifter

      Sounds like a shot to the hindquarters.

      Why, yes, that joke does go back to the Civil War. Why do you ask?

      • therblig

        dumb ass or numb ass?

        • TundraGrifter

          The other follows the one.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        The ‘Headquarters in the Saddle’ one?

        • TundraGrifter

          Yep! Fighting Joe Hooker.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Greta saying Trump mulling the placement of nukes in South Korea.

    Oh, fuck us.

    • Yeah. Japan’s gonna LOVE that

      • WotsAllThisThen

        He’s a negotiator. He’ll offer to give them Taiwan in exchange.

    • sadboy

      Sure, put nukes right up against the DMZ where they can be overrun by a North Korean invasion before we can get a shot off. Great strategery!

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        ‘Hey, Sarge, look, we just have to turn them around and point them the other way!’

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      And the doomsday clock gets set to 11:59:59.5

  • MynameisBlarney

    Never miiiiind about all that mess for a spell.
    It’s Friday. We fuckin made it through another week.

    Cheers and bottoms up!

    https://i.giphy.com/SEre9eirTBgdO.gif

    • snark-lurker

      PANTS OFF & bottoms up

      • MynameisBlarney

        Are you implying that I was previously wearing pants?

        • snark-lurker

          newbees may be listening

      • WotsAllThisThen

        That’s how I say good morning.

        • Jennifer R

          Had a landlord like that once.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fuck yeah!! Right there with you buddy. Havin’ a Green Spot. Smooth.

  • Nightcrawler

    So this the open thread? Because if so, I have some happy, uplifting pictures to share. Including Sir Patrick Stewart knitting. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/970982446b56d690e05a6b67a87cfd1a63a36486b46c4fa827156e65c68371b8.jpg

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      In Santa jammies.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        With what looks to be a large tumbler of scotch

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          He’s a better knitter than me. Alcohol and knitting doesn’t mix for me.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            Try crochet. One handed so less co-ordination required.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I love this man. My dream is to be able to tell Sir Patrick that I literally survived my teenage years because of TNG and Jean-Luc Picard. :)

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I’m sure he does meet ‘n greets on various things. If you coordinate travel plans some time, you might get a chance! He might be a dick, of course, but he doesn’t seem like it.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I will if I get the chance. :) I saw a video once where at a Star Trek Con, a young woman thanked him for his activism for women and abuse survivors, and he hugged her as she stated to cry. :) Sir Patrick is an abuse survivor too.

          • marxalot

            Have you heard his talk about why he was afraid to do anger onstage? Shit, man, that’s powerful stuff.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I have. He is an amazing man. I remembered him from Excalibur, Dune, and I Claudius before TNG, and then with all his activism and just what a great man he is, I mean it when I refer to him as *Sir* Patrick Stewart.

        • Notreelyhelping

          He’s not a dick: he’s a trained Shakespearian.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    OT Tomi Lahren is suing The Blaze for not being tolerant of different views.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Send that cowboy hatted dipshit and his mob of incoherent loons to Syria to fight Trump’s War.

    • Nightcrawler

      These guys talk tough but collectively crap their pants when they’re in a real combat situation. Literally. Just look at their idol Theodore Nugent.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Damn it: including the Amtrak train that goes through Glenwood Springs (which it the best damn way to get there from Denver in winter.) http://www.masstransitmag.com/press_release/12322126/220-cities-losing-all-passenger-train-service-per-trump-elimination-of-all-federal-funding-for-amtraks-national-network-trains

    • TJ Barke

      FUCK THIS BULLSHIT

    • Thiazin Red

      How does that make any fucking sense?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        It fucking doesn’t, just like the rest of this shit show. When I was home in January we took the train to Glenwood Springs. It was awesomely relaxing. And we could enjoy beverages and edibles on the way. And the train was packed, some locals and some going long distance.

      • marxalot

        We. Can’t. Have. Nice. Things.
        What part of “the only good is the private good” didn’t you get?

      • jesterpunk

        He must have heard Joe Biden likes Amtrak or something?

    • jesterpunk
    • NastyBossetti

      Wait, what?! What the fuck? What is this shit? I love traveling by train.

      • MynameisBlarney

        The only way for that now is like a Hobo.

        • NastyBossetti

          I actually have a bindle in my car trunk, so I’m ready.

    • Claire

      That’s rich. About the only line left standing will be the Acela Corridor, which serves all those coastal liberal elites.

  • BearLeft

    Any lawyer who thought he could call that self-defense should have his ass handed to him, even if that ass is his client.

  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    Which of the defendants is Oily Taint representing? Or did she die?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Hey Y’all. It’s 80F here, so I changed to shorts and a tank top and went out again. I’ve kind of had a anxiety about the thrift store, so I made myself go back today. Everyone was nice, except for these 2 buttheads in the parking lot checking me out. I gave them the side-eye tho, https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/66a47c2e04ccaee637b85c24d0fd2745f7a68cdfcc7207c3248b9c29388a32d3.gif – and they found somebody else to talk about quick. :)

    The cashiers at Big Lots were asking me how I do all this walking in heels, and I said “like this”. XD What’s the big, really? I wear heels everyday.

    How is Everypony?

    • Thiazin Red

      I did end up using that recipe for short ribs that you recommended. It turned out really well with the balsamic vinegar in it.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Awesome! Thanks for letting me know. I will try it myself when I can. :)

        It looked so good on the webpage, it’s great that it is good.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Tired. Sick. Depressed. Furious.

      • Jennifer R

        The usual as I call it.

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          I’m not used to it. I find it conflicts with my innate poniness. I… do not want to become who I used to be. It, well, hurt.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~I know it does, Ron. I think all we can do is try to find the small joys. For example, Formula 1 Grand Prix of Shaghai is tomorrow. :)

            I’m not letting Insesticon ruin my race. Forza Ferrari! :D

          • Jennifer R

            And I am letting my inner 7 year old obsess over an item that still hasn’t shipped.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Hell, I do that over every item. Is it your Dark Souls game?

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah. The only thing I have ever pre-ordered farther out than this was Lunar Silver Star Story Complete, and that came out 15 months late due to poor choices on Working Designs’ part.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I remember that. :) I got you beat – In 2009 I preordered a boxed wargame called “Heroes of the Gap”, it’s a Cold War Gone Hot game. I prepaid in a system that nets a discount cos we are essentially paying for he print run.

            It arrived in 2012. XD I still haven’t even punched the counters, I had completely forgotten about it by the time it shipped.

          • Jennifer R

            I have been very well composed about it until the last week or so, when I have re-read the rule book three times as well as the official thread on their website with changes that are in the print version. As well as a google document where someone found out the PDF was composed of uncompressed individual photos of cards and you could copy paste obfuscated cards elsewhere and see maybe 20 of the 250 cards in the core game. (a mix of starting items, treasures, boss and miniboss data cards and some attacks)

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            Hard to think of small joys when one is so very ill. Kind of gets in the way. I’m already missing our annual cast party.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Sorry to hear that. Colds suck. :(

          • Jennifer R

            It really and truly does.

    • Jennifer R

      Snow 3 days ago and 80f now, love that nice stable weather cycle.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yep. There are still tiny traces of snow in deep shadows. It’s crazy.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • snark-lurker

      got my kid out of Africa & home safe

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Good! :)

        • snark-lurker

          thx : )

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Good, Anna! Here’s to a great weekend. :)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Here’s to! Cheers! :)

    • Anna Rompage

      Life is good!

      Crazy windstorm that knocked out power to 100,000s of people here in Oregon, but in meant I got to go home early…

      Got a nap in, have had a couple beers, and even managed to do an hour of gardening with the crazy wind and all!

      Happy Friday!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Gardening and beer sounds like the perfect afternoon! Happy Friday back-at-ya. :)

    • Sister the Resister

      I CAN BREATHE THROUGH BOTH NOSTRILS!!!! (it’s the small things)

      Your “y’all” made me think of this, which popped up on my facebook feed this morning:
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a4b42163b8dede276c61bdb536c52295b81091f3c5e5e89f14e221895a7089d.jpg

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD LOL!

        And yes, breathing thru both nostrils is a blessing if you’ve had an illness or allergies. :)

        • Sister the Resister

          I’m lucky enough to get both at the same time! Yay!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Poor thing! I’m glad the breathing is a bit better for you anyway.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Damn…
    Left my bottle o’ mead at the damn shop.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oh no! Will it still be there?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh yeah, no one will be there over the weekend and if they are, they won’t check the mini-fridge.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Well, that’s good at least. :) I was thinking it got left at the store where you were buying it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ah.
            Naw…I meant my shop.
            Pops brought me a bottle. He finagled a 6 pack outta the lady he bought his chickens from.
            Looks homemade.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Damn that sounds good. :D Ima on a diet, tho. XD

          • MynameisBlarney

            I should be but, meh…
            *shrugs*

            I’m a fuckin lazy bastard.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I didn’t mean it that way, just that I’m tempted to go across the street for beer or something, but I wont. Gotta be good to get into a bikini.

  • not_vh

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvTF6B5XKxQ

    on the dialectics of cinema

    • not_vh

      one of the best marriage of music to visuals ever.

  • Thiazin Red

    Since I don’t see another open thread, I’ll say it here. I binged Over the Garden Wall last night and it was great. Its damn near perfect and fucking delightful. I love the art style, the mix of old world fairy tales and Americana. The characters were great. Greg is such a well written little kid, he feels real and not overly cute or overly mature like a lot of child characters are written. Wirt’s inability to see past his own insecurities is pretty relate-able. The world of the Unknown is fascinating and just the right mix of menacing and cute. The music just worked with it perfectly.

    I wish it had come out when I was a kid. Not that I didn’t love it now, but it would be interesting to compare how what I thought about it changed, if that makes any sense. Sort of like how I liked Last Unicorn as a child but as an adult I appreciate different things and understand the characters differently.

    • marxalot

      That one is on my “hole up with a cuddly buddy and watch” list, but it won’t be this weekend. I’m on my own, and Netflix has Wynona Earp now.

  • Thespian Pony Ron

    Err… is this the Open Thread, or is there something major happening that we should be worried about?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Turns out those arguments that black people *deserve* unreasonable force can also be applied to white people who are especially stupid. Except the white people are still alive.

    • Nightcrawler

      Because by their logic
      When brown people do it, it’s because they’re a terrorist.
      When black people do it, it’s because they’re in a gang.
      When white people do it, it’s because they are patriots with economic anxiety.

      • MynameisBlarney

        “When white people do it, it’s because they are patriots with economic anxiety.”

        Or mentally unstable.

        • Stulexington

          They were 420 crazy lone wolves I tell ya.

          • MynameisBlarney

            The largest pack of lone wolves, EVAR!

  • NastyBossetti

    Assuming this is the open thread.
    I’m doing this tomorrow. I was tied for 12th in my division (of 173 people) for the deadlift last time, and I am aiming to do 30-35lbs better this time, so it’s likely I’ll be in the top 5. The other events not so much, but that’s ok. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Anyway, wish me luck!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Awesome!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I used ta do shit like that before I went and ruined my back and shoulder.

      • NastyBossetti

        I’m very afraid of hurting myself, so left to my own devices, I would play it more cautiously than I need to and probably make no progress. Luckily, I trust my trainer.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Well, I didn’t hurt myself lifting weights.
          I did that by doing dumb shit on skateboards and motorcycles.

          • NastyBossetti

            Oh yeah I don’t do that shit. My balance is not great.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Mine used ta was, but then it wasn’t.
            Also, too; alcohol and/drugs may or may not have been involved during those incidents.

    • not_vh

      real cool man. break a leg.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Or, umm, not?

        • not_vh

          hey, i din’t invent the idiom. i just discovered it.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            That’s okay, just don’t mention the Scottish play.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Pshaw, screw your courage to the sticking place, and We’ll not fail.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      As someone who does dead lifting primarily because he’s too lazy to go get the engine crane, I wish you all the very best. I like the sound of this – using muscles they way they’re meant to be used.

      • not_vh

        i just want to be as fit as my mom’s dad and his brother. there were like thin, sinewy machines who could either carry a harvest of rice or make a meal for a battalion of resisters of imperial powers.

        i was not even 40 when i blew my shoulder playing sports.

      • NastyBossetti

        It’s fun! I go to a tiny little gym, and we have a good little community there. It makes me feel like a badass when I make an improvement on anything, but the deadlift especially.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Source is named Beave Stannon. Keep that close hold.https://t.co/3D8gk8X9rG— John Schindler (@20committee) April 7, 2017

    Source close to Bannon says things are very bad for him in WH right now. Allies are telling him to "lay low" and wait out the storm.— Katy Tur (@KatyTurNBC) April 7, 2017

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Hahaha

    59 TLAMs didn't do much damage in #Syria, but they seem to have killed Pepe quite nicely.https://t.co/7Kx0NYjEfx— John Schindler (@20committee) April 7, 2017

  • marxalot

    Ugh, I cannot get the scopes on this OAuth API call to work the way they ought to today. Fuck work. I’m gonna go home, work out, and have tiramisu for dinner, because I don’t bust my flab 5x/wk to not eat whatever the fuck I want.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      OAuth is the demon spawn. The API sounds good, but all the implementations I’ve worked with suck.

      • marxalot

        I’m not even doing real calls- I’m testing some data containers for working with the ORCID API, and using OAuth playground to handle the OAuth part (bc I’m not actually in library IT, so I don’t have access to their servers to use them), but it won’t parse the damn scopes, and I’m afraid it’s bc ORCID hasn’t put its sandbox on v2.0, which would make no sense at all.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      My dinner was a brownie (not that kind, I’m not in Colorado right now)

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Up Here ‘Brownies’ are, umm, juniour Girl Guides, so one could misconstrue your words in more than one way.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Heh. Junior girl scouts in the US also, too. This was delightful chocolate, highly therapeutic.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            ‘Therapeutic’ IS the function of chocolate. Well done.

    • Anna Rompage

      The ricotta & marscapone both have protein, and loads of calcium too!

  • Zonath

    So if someone wants to mail Cliven or any of his other Y’all Quaeda brethren a “marital aid”, does anyone know the address?

    Asking for a friend.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      The Bundy’s have a plethora of dildos from their Oregon stay, IIRC.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Send ’em DJT butt plugs to give them variety.

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          Butt, the Trump name licensing fees for them can cost you.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          AKA Russian Squeekers

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • MynameisBlarney

      OH…what? THAT?

      Pshaaaaw!

      That’s not even remotely suspicious.

  • Nightcrawler
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Missing comma in a compound sentence libelz.

      • II Gosala

        That doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the but where he treks us that Fox News is a professor.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Well played. Obviously you are a Professional Organization of English Majors (POEM) member.
          Which local?

          • II Gosala

            Actually, I’m Science major. POEM never asked me to join.

      • hendenburg2

        Yeah, probably not a humanities professor

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          Oh, the hu… nah, not really feeling it tonight.

        • Duke

          Can only vote once

  • Farley Bot

    Nothing like a little jail time to sober up all of these 3% patriots. Cloven, this game is over. Putz.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Global warming, what global warming?

    Hundreds of icebergs are suddenly invading shipping lanes https://t.co/hZwgj2WY64 pic.twitter.com/K5xHTz7Lze— Popular Science (@PopSci) April 7, 2017

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is a damn librul lie!

    • not_vh

      does it affect oklahoma? if no don’t care.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Not again!
      – Capt. Edward Smith

    • janecita

      Fake News!!!

    • NastyBossetti

      Weird! I wonder what could be causing that?!

    • II Gosala

      Fake News! climate change globull warming is a liberal hoax invented by the Chinese so that Thatcher could break the coal miners’ union and transfer all the ameros into Al Gore’s secret Swiss bank account

      • Duke

        Fakety fake news!

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    The courtroom farce will be complete once Cliven calls Al and Bud Bundy as character witnesses.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Harried by Children

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        <golf clap>

  • I am watching greta so i don’t lose my perfectly legal MSNBC live stream. I think my ears are bleeding

    • janecita

      Why do you hate yourself so much????

    • not_vh

      you, didi, are a trooper.

    • marxalot

      Mute it, dahlink, mute it.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Right ear, left ear, means her both sides do it message got thru.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Not even gonna pretend this didn’t make me laugh:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/nra-employee-shot-himself

    • I checked it was non-fatal for laughing…. out loud

    • jesterpunk

      Wait that isnt possible, I hear from gun owners that when you buy a gun you are automatically a better shot and safer with a gun then anyone in the military or police. He must have been a good guy with a gun stopping a bad guy with a gun or something.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      XD The putz.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Any reference to “lower body” injuries is a tip-off.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        WAS the tip.

    • Ωbjectifier

      He suffered a minor injury to his “lower body.”
      Shot his dick off? Just a minor injury.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “lower body”? Moar like lower brain, amirite?

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          The one that moves the hind legs because the one up front isn’t smart enough.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shot his load too quickly? Who hasn’t done that?

  • Ωbjectifier

    Drexler — who on the day of the standoff was photographed pointing a long gun through a jersey barrier on a highway bridge —

    About that, it would be interesting to see him take a shot from there. Good way to trash your expensive ‘sniper rifle’.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So one of the first cases Neil Gorsuch will hear is a case involving a Lutheran school in Missouri who is suing the federal government because they won’t repave their playground. UNFAIR!!!!! Why shouldn’t we all subsidize religious education that people have chosen to send their children to? I dislike the Catholic church, but that’s no reason I shouldn’t be forced to subsidize their religion. What’s that? Something, something, Constitution. Yeah, right, snowflake Libtard!

    • Suse

      I went to Lutheran school and we had a gravel playground where we all skidded and skinned our knees bigly while playing dodgeball. Can I sue them retroactively?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The important thing here is that we ALL get to pay for other people to send their children to religious school, preferably one that teaches the kids that the earth is 6000 years old, and that Jesus rode a dinosaur.

        I was listening to some old fart say the other day “I’m so sick of all this fake news.” I knew right then that America was doomed. The idiots have taken over the government, the schools, and now the press.

        • Suse

          I’m not sure how my school worked in that era, as far as taxpayer money goes. I did get a very good education and the religious indoctrination, which was pretty mild, didn’t stick.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’m guessing it was privately funded, like religious institutions should be, but who knows? The important thing is that you’re now a godless heathen intent on destroying America from within (with snark).

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        If God loved you, you wouldn’t skin your knee.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Nail your complaint on the door of the school. I’ve heard that works. That and a Worm Diet to lose weight.

    • jesterpunk

      WAR ON CHRISTIANS!!!!!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Preach, brother, preach.

        • jesterpunk

          Remember only Christian or Catholic schools are ok to get government money. If its something like a muslim school its part of the plot to institute Shakira Law or something.

          http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/13/louisiana_n_1593995.html

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I want to send my kid to the Wonkette School of the Culinary Arts, Dick Jokes, and Snark for Kids who can’t Read Good.

          • A diploma i would be proud ro display

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            We may need to get in touch with Becca and tell her we’ve got a great new marketing ploy/merchandising opportunity. If Trump can have a fake university, why can’t the Wonkette?

          • Sister the Resister

            I always wanted to go there….

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            They’re athletic department isn’t so hot since they’re all out behind the bleachers, smoking and making out.

          • Sister the Resister

            sounds like the athletic department of my dreams

          • Sister the Resister

            I will now forever think of it as “Shakira Law”

          • Lots of rules about the uses of hips in that code

          • jesterpunk
          • dlemex

            She is a fave… these hips could lie to me… ;-)

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7ssrLSheg4

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I like it. I had been calling it “Scalia Law.”

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Guessing black top is not in their plans.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      How did that case ever get to the Supreme Court?

      Trinity Church commenced this action, asserting federal question jurisdiction over claims that the denial of its Scrap Tire application violated (i) the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment

      No you are a church not an individual.

      (ii) its First Amendment right to free exercise of religion,
      What part of your religion requires money from the government to purchase shredded tires?

      (iii) the First Amendment’s Establishment Clause

      Can you not freely practice your religion without money from the government to purchase shredded tires?

      (iv) its First Amendment right of free speech.

      Why is the denial of money from the government to purchase shredded tires denying your free speech?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Obviously you’re not familiar with the case of Is Not V. Is Too, which states that it’s NOT FAIR! that other people get tax money that supports a free education for all children. Sure, that system has worked great for a few hundred years, but what about the rights of Jesus Lovers????? Don’t they deserve money too????

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I say the County should start dumping all old tires found on the school’s playground. The kids could shred them for Arts & Crafts.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I keep waiting for a Mosque to open a charter school, and take vouchers. Hopefully in Topeka, or Tulsa, or Lincoln.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        We had one that was shut down here for teaching religion.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Praise Allah!

  • Suse

    Saw this non-comment over on NYT. “Trump’s mind is a packaged Twinkie: it may never decay because it was never organically alive.”

  • janecita

    I’m eating bread, and drinking red wine. I’m totally breaking my diet. I blame Trump.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Are you in church?

      • janecita

        Hell no!

        • not_vh

          why not? people with half the brains have made twice the hay sticking to that line. lets do a church of the conveniently later followers of a saint early that day.

          • janecita

            I always wanted to start my own religion. It’s the ultimate grift.

          • Make sure to follow the rules. And post the progress on youtube!

      • Duke

        My an the childerns needs a snort in da mornin

    • You’re having fruit!

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        And grains!

      • janecita

        That’s true:-)

    • RobKanC

      Thanks Obama.

    • Suse

      I ate a whole loaf of delicious cinnamon bread this week.

      • janecita

        Yum, I love cinnamon anything!

        • I have cinnamon honey

          • Suse

            Ooh!

          • It is tasty. I have been using it with peaunt butter on toast

          • Suse

            Yummy! I like lavender honey on PB toast.

          • I also have Chocolate and Jalapeno honey from the same apiary

          • janecita

            I wonder if I can make my own. We have beehives.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            Oh, bee-hive!

        • Suse

          It pays to buy good cinnamon, otherwise you’re getting sweepings off the spice factory floor.

          • janecita

            I always buy Vietnamese cinnamon.

          • Suse

            Me, too!

          • Sister the Resister

            I always buy whatever cinnamon is on sale at the grocery store when I forgot I needed it for the recipe I’m in the middle of making. Someday I will graduate to Real cinnamon.

            A note about floor sweepings cinnamon: it’s a good guard against ants trying to attack your dog or cat’s food dish: put it on a saucer, put the dish in the middle of the saucer. They won’t cross it. Perfect use for Dollar-Store cinnamon.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            Until the ants start using it for cinnamon toast.

          • Sister the Resister

            Been lucky so far. Probably because the ants can’t find eensy teeny tiny toasters ANYwhere!

        • Thespian Pony Ron
          • Suse

            Cowgirl in the Sand libulz!1!!

          • janecita

            Yup, even that song!

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          “I want to live with a Cinnamon Girl…”

          The Godfather of Grunge

      • Persistent Demme

        I made a pecan pie, (Mr. Demme is out of town), and have been slowly eating the whole thing!
        (Pie is the bestest breakfast!)

        • Suse

          It’s an awesome breakfast.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      What is wrong with bread and wine? A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou…..

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You could try turning the wine back into water.

      • janecita

        That’s OK, I’ll have water tomorrow, maybe.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        I have had a few bottles of wine that would have been far nicer had they been turned in to water.

        • janecita

          I had this very expensive bottle of Bordeaux, that I was saving for a special occasion. I opened it and it was corked. It smelled like vinegar.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            Probably did not TASTE like wine vinegar though.
            Sheesh, one of the things that you’re supposed to get with expensive wine is the sort of care that keeps a bottle from getting corked. Standards are slipping everywhere.

          • Crank Tango

            Yet another point for rum.

      • not_vh

        i can do it. coming out. not going in though. does that count?

    • not_vh

      this whole proposition is intriguing. tell us more.

    • NastyBossetti

      I had a wine and cheese happy hour when I got home from work. It was string cheese and whatever was left in a bottle of white (yes, right out of the bottle). Because I’m very classy and mature.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “…and sent them into a wash to intimidate fed LEOs into releasing impounded cattle. Bundy’s plan worked.”

    So did Daniel’s plan when he was in the den of the unfed LEOs.

    • Suse

      ISWYDT ;-)

  • Notreelyhelping

    It’s been one hell of a week, and I have deadlines this weekend. So tonight, it’s curl up on the couch with the dog, put Doves’ “The Last Broadcast” on headphones, smoke something appropriate…and forget.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Forget what?

      • Notreelyhelping

        This week.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      There was good news from Texas this week. The “School Voucher” bill went down in flames in the House. Even GOP Fundies don’t want to mess up their High School Football Team.

      • Notreelyhelping

        I thought high school football is a kind of religion in Texas. Nice to hear, though.

    • bookish

      Don’t bogart that dog, my friend.

  • Nightcrawler

    For dinner, this 23 year old fried some flounder and for the first time in his life he feels complete because his parents complimented him on his cooking.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Nicely done! :) You’ve taken your first step into a larger world.

    • Duke

      Every once in a while I text my kids that i’m proud of them. It’s true and also confuses the hell out of them

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Son, at your age, my idea of making dinner was heating up Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks for my girlfriend and my bff for which they have never let me forget–in a fun way. Oh, and opening a can of green beans.

      Congrats!

      • Nightcrawler

        I had a good teacher.

  • RobKanC

    Right wing idiot not big on personal responsibility. That makes it two of those idiots.

  • Marceline

    OT: Is the Kansas special election becoming competitive? I’ve given to Quist and Ossoff but I have to admit that I considered Kansas a lost cause until now.

    https://twitter.com/DavidMDrucker/status/850422594616659972

    • Shanz keeps banging on about Kansas going blue to try and fix the Brownback shitstorm

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Kansas was a laboratory for every dumb Republican idea ever hatched in Grover Norquist’s fever dreams. They’re getting sued by the federal government for not having enough money to fund their schools.

        • For now…until Betsy figures out she has a lawyering dept

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’m pretty sure the school system will go to 100% religious schools within the next five years. America is determined to become an idiot state. Oh, well, we had a good run.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      The GOP will just make voting eligibility only to those who’s great grandparents voted for Alf Landon at least twice.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ωbjectifier
      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ll take two.

    • Anna Elizabeth
      • MynameisBlarney

        Ah geeez…

        I’ll be in my bunk.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD Oh year,Baby! Steve McQueen in *that* car?

      • ahughes798

        I think someone recently restored and sold that same Mustang for big money.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I can imagine! :D

          • ahughes798

            It would be great to have a car like that….unfortunately, we have speed limits.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Oh I know. You’d have to take her to the track to have any fun.

    • ahughes798

      That looks like such fun!

  • Duke

    Only moar gunz can solve this

    • Count Awesome

      Or better edumacation.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        No way. Edumacation is what started this whole Internet thing in the first place!

      • JoeChristmas

        Build The Dang Wall!!1!

      • jesterpunk

        We dont need no edumacation.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR5ApYxkU-U

      • II Gosala

        Education is the opiate of the masses. It hooks them on the idea of meritocracy and success as measured by material wealth.

        What’s needed is moar religion, which teaches that success is in the quality of one’s life and relationships and that love doesn’t have to be deserved.

  • II Gosala

    Breitbart is fun tonight. They can’t make up their minds about Syria.

    –It was a false flag by ISIS because Assad had no reason to gas his own people and if he had hundreds not dozens of people would have died.

    — This proves that Trump is not in Putin’s pocket

    — This proves that Trump was a neoconservative, liberal globalist all along

    — This, together with Bannon’s ouster from the NSC, proves that Kushner is a neoconservative, liberal globalist and Trump is being led astray

    — This proves that America is back, kicking ass and taking names

    — This proves America has learned nothing from Korea, Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan.

    They’ve taken to calling each other Trumptards and are blocking each other left and right.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      The worthless fuckers.Let the Long Knives be sharp!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And the windows high above the sidewalk

    • Suse

      Good!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      so what is the sound of one hand fapping?

    • memzilla Ω

      Needs moar usages of “cuck.”

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      They are also going nuts about the Bannon/Jared fight for power. The Antisemitism at Breitbart has been turned up to 11.

      • jesterpunk

        They turned down the Antisemitism at some point?

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          Ordinary racism is so very much easier.

      • II Gosala

        Well, Zionists are at the center of all our troubles, no?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Regarding point 2, I was thinking about this this morning. Putin and Trump can now say, “see, we’re not as chummy as everyone thinks!” Meanwhile, shady shit continues to happen behind the scenes.

      There were just too many quotes from various sources saying how much Trump-branded bombing hurt Russian relations.

      • II Gosala

        I’m not given to conspiracy theories, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate:

        Trump: Oh, Pooty, my people hate me. They think I’m in love with you or maybe you have something on me (that’s not true, is it pooty?). Whatever shall I do.

        Pooty-poot: There, there my sweet. I just tell my friend Bashar to do something despicable: something he wants to do anyway. That gives you excuse to exact revenge on meaningless target. Problem solved.

        Trump: Oh, Pooty, I love you this much.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Exactly, it conveniently solves a lot of issues – too close to Russia, trump being a weak leader, “solving” a problem in an area where Obama was perceived (and was probably actually) weak, distracts from Gorsuch/Russia probe by congress/Not-a-muslim ban, the nepotism, and on and on and on

    • TJ Barke

      I’ve never seen so much cognitive dissonance in one place…

    • jesterpunk
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I ride an old paint.
    I lead an old Dan
    I follow Clyde Bundy
    And stick it to the man…..

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Good bye old paint
      Good bye old Dan
      I’m off to fed prison
      To have sex with a man.

      • Sister the Resister

        catchy…

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Heard this this afternoon from my clandestine radio listening in on broadcasts from across the border. Anyone for Old Scotia when Scotland becomes Canada’s 11th province?
    https://www.mtlblog.com/news/scotland-could-leave-the-uk-and-become-canadas-11th-province

  • Carpe Vagenda

    (is this the open thread because) the Trump organization has settled their lawsuit against completely awe-inspiring Chef, immigrant, and all-around human being in general Jose Andres for refusing to be associated with their xenophobia, and Jose Andres has settled with the Trump organization for being a detriment to his image. And, it sounds as if it didn’t work out quite the way Trump would have preferred

    “I am pleased that we were able to resolve our differences and move forward cooperatively, as friends,” Andrés said in the statement. “I have great respect for the Trump Organization’s commitment to excellence in redeveloping the Old Post Office. At TFG, we have long been committed to using our resources to improve the D.C. community as well as the lives of those less fortunate by our active involvement in D.C. Central Kitchen, World Central Kitchen and many other worthwhile causes. Going forward, we are excited about the prospects of working together with the Trump Organization on a variety of programs to benefit the community.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      these are the times I wish I was in the room to hear the terms. Hell, one of my bosses’ cases was settled today and I don’t know the details.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I realize we only know what they’re not saying, but I can’t picture the Trump organization agreeing to help the less fortunate in a majority-minority city if his lawyers gave him any way out.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          My inexperienced, uneducated guess will be Trump’s lawyers said, “Well, we coulda made a bunch of money on this, but it’s either a hassle or too expensive or not a good case, so let’s drop it and reap some free, good publicity.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, I’m going to guess that Andres (who didn’t get where he is by not being a very smart businessman) made it clear that he was going to take advantage of a really lot of discovery.

            You know, with votes.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol. I love discovery. Sometimes even the Plaintiff has no idea what’s in there.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Judge Gloria Navarro? Sounds female and Latino. She probably has gold fringe on the US flag in her court room too?
    How is a Soveriegn Citizen supposed to get a fair trial?

    Personally I hope he is tried separately. Charge him as an illegal alien. If he has declared he is not a US Citizen we should take him at his word. Off to GITMO.

  • memzilla Ω

    RIP Chelsea Brown at 68, from Laugh-In. (Judy Carne, Goldie Hawn, Chelsea Brown, October 1968).
    , https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ad4aefedbd97ed66a9eb6b38b978266c1489568d1f793e13d2659c3e4c90026.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Humminuh humminuh. RIP.

    • Suse

      She was so cute.

    • tehbaddr

      Huzza!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I regret that there are not enough videos online of CB dancing.
      (for historical analysis purposes, obvs. For a friend)

    • Sister the Resister

      I must ask, why is Goldie in a wet suit? Not that she doesn’t look adorable… but?

      • memzilla Ω

        Probably a reference to many of the skits involving the women ended with them being drenched by a bucket of water, or worse.
        https://youtu.be/FbRYgJav7ak

      • Ωbjectifier

        Cuz the flippers looked silly without the wetsuit!

  • Nightcrawler

    I find it both funny and sad (to borrow Donnie’s terminology) how so many of these so called libertarians who said they hated Bush and called him a war criminal (and rightfully so) now defend Trump and make excuses for him doing the exact same type of stuff.

    • Suse

      Where does Bernie stand on this?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        With his head up his anus.

  • bookish
  • ibwilliamsi

    Charlie Manson tried that “they only did what I asked them to do and I stayed home” defense too. Hopefully as far as the Bundy family goes we’re at least as civilized as we were in 1969 with the Manson family.

    • richardgrabman

      My understanding was that Manson encouraged the murders, so was responsible in the same way a mob boss is a murderer if he puts out a hit on someone.

      • ibwilliamsi

        It’s been several decades since I read “Helter Skelter”, but I recall that he planned the LaBianca murders and sent them out. I could be wrong.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The “I was not following [my own] orders” defense? It’s so crazy, it might just work.

  • richardgrabman

    Hope this doesn’t sound like trolling, but isn’t Cliven Bundy making the (possibly legitimate) argument that as the organizer of a protest, he’s not responsible for any material damage resulting from the protest… an argument that actually has some legs given the attempts in several states to prosecute protest leaders when protests lead to property damage?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’ll bite.

      On the surface it seems that way. I mean it’s *good* for him that he didn’t carry a weapon or shout orders with a megaphone – that would have made the case easy. But as for “incitement” and direction and control, eh I’m not sure. Fine, he wasn’t at the wash – but as noted, Manson wasn’t in LA. I’m not a lawyer, nor I have researched what he’s charged with or ALL the details of what happened.

      In other words, you make a fair point. But I’m guessing a loose-lipped, talkative, wanna-be martyr might have let a few things slip that could nail him (remember how he freely discussed “Negroes” and how they were better off pickin cotton or some shit?)

  • goonemeritus

    Who among us wouldn’t rather visit our kids in jail than have them visit us. Not that the little bastards would visit anyway.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    It’s snowing. Fuck this place. T. S. Eliot was correct about this effing month.

  • tehbaddr

    “let the fiend go free!”

    Musta just been what they all need…

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Suse

      This song is on almost every time I turn on the Sirius rock station in my car. Also, too, Bang a Gong. :-(

      • Anna Elizabeth
        • Msgr_MΩment

          Debbie Harry, gongbanging. We’ll accept it.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            I so <3 Debbie, she's my idol. :D

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3vYOvQrwAo

          • therblig

            when ms. blig and i first moved in together, we saw blondie at the stanley in pittsburgh (the parallel lines tour). when they did “look good in blue”, it was a transcendent experience.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Oh, you are so lucky to have seen them! :D I listen to Blondie almost every day, I never get tired of them.

          • therblig

            it was a good year. in addition to meeting ms. blig and seeing blondie, i saw this new band called “the police” for a $4 cover charge at the decade. then i actually won tickets to see roxy music (manifesto tour). bryan ferry wore a red leather suit that was just amazing. then, i won tix to see b.b. king and bobby blue bland. also at the stanley, which is a great theater.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            I’m *so* jelly! XD

          • Persistent Demme

            A good friend, who really loves her, googled “what would Debbie Harry wear to a wedding?” when her daughter got married.
            Alas, google did not provide an answer.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            LOL! Debbie once said, had she her life to live again, she’d just do porn. :)

          • Msgr_MΩment
          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Another fave! I <3 Power Station, and I still miss Robert Palmer. RIP.

    • therblig

      they played this song as we rode out on my 2nd livestrong century. it played in my head all day and kept me going when the hills seemed endless.

      bonus fun fact: 2 years later, i was the absolute last rider to finish in what turned out to be the final livestrong challenge philly. they threw yellow carnations.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I can certainly see why “Radar Love” would keep you moving! :)

  • not_vh

    alright folks later. need to cook & do laundry simultaneously.

    spare a thought for syrians. it’s free season against ordinary folks there.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      In the US too.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I only wish that Sean Hannity could get sent to prison as well for aiding and abetting these shitbags, the same way he did with convicted pedophile and border militia instigator Chris Simcox. A couple of his and Hannity’s pals went on to murder a man and his 11 year-daughter to steal drug money. I’d like to remind Sean of that if we ever meet…right before I kick him in the nuts.

    • Suse

      Assumes nuts not in evidence.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Nuts can be provided for the occasion.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/04/seven-lessons-from-trumps-syria-strike/522327/?google_editors_picks=true
    When the Electoral College elevated Donald Trump to the presidency, it conferred on him the awesome life-and-death powers that attend the office. It was inevitable that President Trump would use those powers sooner or later. Now he has. For the effects on the region, I refer you to the powerful piece by The Atlantic’s Andrew Exum. I’m concerned here with the effects on the U.S. political system. Seven seem most immediately relevant.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2017/04/trump-syria-strike/522258/

  • Carpe Vagenda

    o.m.g.

    Repeat after me: You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

    https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/850486193745690625
    https://twitter.com/hemantmehta/status/848984468484313089

    • Count Awesome

      I knew he was a power bottom all along.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      good for him. Finally getting his freak on!

    • Suse

      Tee hee!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Is Turgid Love Muscle aware of this?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pat’s a bottom. Period!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, I can see him avoiding effort in his chosen recreational pursuits.

    • Jamoche

      Your Kink Is Not My Kink But That’s OK.

    • bookish
      • Carpe Vagenda

        I may be confused?

        • bookish

          Very scary bears, in the flesh and undercover.

      • Shanzgood

        That’s not the gay porn I was looking for.

    • Count Awesome

      He must have “accidentally” taken a wide stance in an airport bathroom.

    • Vecchioivan

      No, you’re being sedated by your nurses.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        24 hours a day. Less the ten or twelve I spend working.

    • Miles Monroe

      OH MY GAWD HOW ARE WE NOT STILL DOING PHRASING?!

  • not_vh
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • jesterpunk

      If making things go boom is all it takes to be presidential then why isnt Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman president and vice president?

      • Count Awesome

        ’60’s Batman says GTFO to them. BOOM! and KA-POW!

        • jesterpunk

          Can Batman top this? 5001 lbs of explosives in a cement truck.

          https://youtu.be/cW8c4xJFwjU

          • Count Awesome

            I’m sure he has “cement truck repellent” in his utility belt.

          • Miles Monroe

            Love how the pressure wave is clearly visible in the ultra slo-mo …

          • Incoming (“Fake News”) Ham

            This was their real vs. Hollywood explosion episode, n’est pas?

          • jesterpunk

            It was from their final episode, they just blew it up to do it and to make a huge boom.

      • goonemeritus

        They blowup stuff in America, If they would blowup scary foreigners they may have a shot.

        • jesterpunk

          But they did blow stuff up in deserts, just the wrong deserts it seems. Their explosions also destroyed what they tried to blow up not just make pretty light shows for Brian Williams.

          • goonemeritus

            Well you know what they say – “If we have lost Brian Williams ,we have lost America”.

      • Doug Langley

        The job was already filled:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkkFjSa_r84

        • Gayer Than Thou

          This is making me nostalgic for a time in U.S. history when the President was smart and had class. #Camelot

          • Doug Langley

            I know what you mean. This scene just thrilled me so much.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’ve avoided any and all news today. The media ass-licking was already making me nearly dead from apoplexy last night.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        They’ve gone from rimming to deep probing.

        • Marleenkturner

          Google is paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !fw380c:
          On monday I got a great new mclaren f1 from having earned $12778 this last four weeks.. 3 to 5 hours of work a day… Weekly paychecks… Bonus opportunities…Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !fw380c:cs
          ➽➽
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        • Kathleenamcmahon

          Google is paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !fe186c:
          On monday I got a great new mclaren f1 from having earned $12778 this last four weeks.. 3 to 5 hours of work a day… Weekly paychecks… Bonus opportunities…Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !fe186c:
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        • Rhondajvoss

          Google is paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !fe400c:
          On monday I got a great new mclaren f1 from having earned $12778 this last four weeks.. 3 to 5 hours of work a day… Weekly paychecks… Bonus opportunities…Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !fe400c:
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    • Crank Tango

      Remember that time he could read a teleprompter tho? And not in an Obama way either.

    • georgiaburning

      War=>eyeballs on tube=> Advertising rates up=> Profit$.

      Side effects include nausea, depression, long term liability for incapacitated veterans and death of innocent people. If you cannot afford your War, financing plans that fleece future generations are available.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Msgr_MΩment

      No. You first.

    • Jamoche

      With a sharply folded Constitution.

    • therblig

      “Please don’t remind me” – Elaine Chao

      • Carpe Vagenda

        “People do that?” – Elaine Chao

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Call in a drone strike! Launch the missiles! Invade NYC!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is a great idea and I’ll have to do this when I get back home!

    https://twitter.com/mmpadellan/status/850348953996578816

    • Vecchioivan

      I’ll give them such a twitting . . .

  • Persistent Demme

    Ha, ha, ha! Giggle-snort!
    T***p tried to divert our attention, and it didn’t work!
    Awww…no credibility, Donnie?
    Have you ever read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf?”

    I hope this backfires mightily, because the victims deserve SO MUCH MORE than to be used as pawns to boost Cheeto Benito’s sagging poll numbers!

  • Claire

    I think protesters in DC need to make a point of throwing socks at Jeff Sessions wherever he goes.

    • DainBramage

      Just put a brick in the sock first…

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Was Russia behind the Sweden attack? Because while I don’t want to be a random conspiracy theorist, the election has turned me into a random conspiracy theorist.

    • Sister the Resister

      doesn’t seem so random to me…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Shanzgood

    I’m troubleshooting the donations buttons.

    On my phone, only the Amazon button works. Anyone else have infos to add?

    • Claire

      I don’t know if this is the kind of thing you’re looking for, but I couldn’t make the Amazon Pay button stick with any amount but $10.

      • Shanzgood

        I didn’t even get that far, honestly. At least it sort of works. The PayPal and credit/debit card buttons don’t do ANYTHING on my phone.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m ashamed of myself for laughing at this one:

    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/850345138379509760

  • Nounverb911

    Ivanka put her kids on display to perform their grifting act for the Xis.

    https://twitter.com/IvankaTrump/status/850488492828360704

    • Suse

      Ivanka is some kind of icon to the Chinese, apparently.

    • TootsStansbury

      Arabella? For serious? Where’s the goddamn governess when you need her?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Grandpa deported her.

      • janecita

        True story, my aunt had a cow named Arabella.

      • Pisto75666

        Chugging vodka in one of the bedrooms, most likely.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      jhc that poor baby. WTF was anybody involved with that thinking? Does anyone think grandpa didn’t let her know how much she let him down afterwards?

      • Pisto75666

        ‘WTF was anybody involved with that thinking?”

        “Smile big, kids! They’ll give us more money!”

        • jesterpunk

          They just gave grandpa his trademarks so if you dont do a good job and he loses them he will be bigly mad at you.

          • Pisto75666

            “And you KNOW what happens when Grandpa gets mad. Remember what happened to Auntie Other One”

        • Carpe Vagenda

          No. No no no no no. ffs, that family has grifted enough money to never have to work again before they drive the world to an end. For the love of god, protect your children.

          • Pisto75666

            Drumpf family motto: “If you can hold your head up on your own, time to join the famiy grift machine!”

    • northandwells

      That literally made me sick.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      passionate advocate for the education and empowerment of women and girls

      Dammit, I am TRYING to cut back on the drinking…

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      But the kids are learning Mandarin, right? In which case I give this a pass.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      And Obama took us to a Broadway show and then took us on an all-access tour of Washington. What have I done to deserve this?
      – Xi Jinping

    • therblig

      i couldn’t make out what they were singing – was it this?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92PDgLHAFCw

    • Lambsendbeds

      Oh, FFS! No one but grandparents want to hear little kids sing, or watch them perform. Another example of the whole Trump family’s narcissism. Kudos to President Xi and his wife for smiling throughout THAT excruciating performance.

  • Nounverb911

    Compare and contrast; Obama vs Trump situation rooms.
    https://twitter.com/CindyInChicago/status/850488040594210816

    • Suse

      Steve is wearing that lampshade in the next shot.

      • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

        And masturbating?

        • Suse

          Eeewww!

        • Sister the Resister

          oh god NOOOOoooooooo……..

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’m overly interested in what it says on that sign. Directions to the lights? Handwritten admonishment from Trump not to waste money on air conditioning? Maybe just says Syria = Middle East.

      It’d be irresponsible not to speculate.

      • ariel_gee_398

        The floor plan/seating chart for tomorrow’s afternoon wedding. As soon as this meeting was over, the banquet staff probably had to use the room to make up place cards.

    • Shanzgood

      DT “fake concern” face looks the same as “filling diaper” face.

    • Sister the Resister

      If you look at the pics on the twitter page for CindyInChicago, the tables compare interestingly. In Obama’s situation room, the table is clearly that of a team working, exercising their various duties. In Trump’s it’s empty of all but whatever gizmo sits in front of each, more like a prop. Hmmmmm.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Dropping bombs on an empty airfield is not the equivalent of sending in a Seal Team to take out Osama Bin Fucking Laden so let’s not even go there.

      • Miles Monroe

        … and lobbing cruise missiles from inside a carrior battle group hundreds of miles offshore is not the equivalent of dropping bombs, either. ;-)

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Trump looks like he’s taking a nap with his eyes open.

  • Suse

    Tweety just mentioned the “Hollycost.” He’s not good at pronouncing words.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I make a point of arranging my schedule so that I have other things to do when his show is on. As pissed as I am at Brian Williams over his beautiful missiles comment, he did at least knock Tweety off the 11 PM Pacific time slot, so I’ll give him credit for that.

      • Suse

        That comment was just gobsmacking. How did he get his job back after lying his ass off? Grrr…

      • Lambsendbeds

        I don’t watch Brian William’s show. What did he say about “beautiful missiles”?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Ugh, something along the lines of how beautiful our missiles were. Wonkette did a piece on the media’s fawning over this attack earlier today that has it–I’m still too ill to link to it.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      That would be around $45 for a 3 gal. size shrub.

  • I am watching Russell Howard read 50 Shades aloud in various, no posh, brit accents. It’s hilarious

    • Shanzgood

      Ew. Alla that 50 shades stuff. Bleh.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I know I probably don’t have anything to worry about, but if Rachel calls him presidential tonight I’m officially quitting cable news cold turkey and I’ll go back to getting all my news from you guys and late night comedians.

    • Suse

      I will join you if that happens.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Solidarity!

        • Suse

          Sistahood!

          • natoslug

            I’m a penis-American, but will join in this sistahood if permitted. I refuse to watch anyone who claims Turnip is presidential in any way other than un.

          • Amelia Resists and Persists

            Accepted!

          • Suse

            All species welcome!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Pretty sure Rachel knows her audience better than to do that. Or so I hope.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        She was already showing hints last night, as it was going down, of thinking about it from the conspiracyish side of things so I have a lot of hope that she’s been watching all day and sighing at her colleagues like we have.

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        She could mention he spent the day presidentially refreshing the Gallup website to see if his numbers improved.

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And those of us who tweet have a new hashtag to start using:

    https://twitter.com/hashtag/TrumpTumble?src=hash

  • Nounverb911
    • Suse

      War-a-GoGo

  • Marceline

    Are we getting an open thread soon? Because I’m waiting to make my Friday Obama post.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I think this is it.

      • Suse

        Jinx!

    • Suse

      I think this is it.

    • Nounverb911

      Suse and Callyson think this is it.

      • Suse

        We’re really the same person.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Rachel, is that you?

    • not_vh

      obama posts can open any thread.

      thanks obama

  • Lay them all down in the wash ….. and stampede the cattle

    • Sister the Resister

      “They were just running loose, all over the place, and….”

      • Nothing says good looking, like a Bundy with a hoof-print in his head.

    • TJ Barke

      YEE HAW!

      • Rollin’ rollin’ rollin, keep those doggies rollin …. Rawhide

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Nounverb911

      Ba Da Bump!

    • MApispevooooiCaptainHowdy

      Assad what you did there.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        But Syriasly folks.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Don’t be Russian to conclusions until the Trump card is played.

      • georgiaburning

        Damascus I might have to tell you

  • Marceline

    My weekly Friday Obama post.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6uHR90Sq6k

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    I hear the argument that Congress should have been consulted on the missile attack. Then, I recall how often Obama wanted them to weigh-in before he did shit and they sat on their hands. However appropriate this strike was, Congress has again ceded power to the Executive. Maybe they were thinking there would a President Rubio/Romney/Sentient head of lettuce, and it would be cool.

    Surprise, suckers.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I would not be at all surprised if he actually did this:

    https://twitter.com/TeaPartyCat/status/850129184940634113

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Stand strong, Dems, and stick to this!

    https://twitter.com/mcspocky/status/850494915192737792

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So here’s the latest spam from the White House. Enjoy!

    “WHITE HOUSE MEMO

    President Donald J. Trump calls on all civilized nations to join us in seeking to end the slaughter and bloodshed in Syria – and also to end terrorism of all kinds and all types. We ask for God’s wisdom as we face the challenges of our very troubled world. We pray for the lives of the wounded, and for the souls of those who have passed. And we hope that as long as America stands for justice, then peace will – in the end – prevail.”

    • TJ Barke

      Justice? The thing they are actively attempting to murder?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        This email is repulsive in so many ways.

    • Suse

      Boo! 0/10. Weak, sad.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        There’s more, but I like you all too much.

    • therblig

      “civilized nations” – so russia’s out?

    • georgiaburning

      God’s wisdom?? Look who is President. Once again, God’s sick and twisted sense of humor comes out.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        God can be kind of a bastard sometimes.

        • georgiaburning

          We do enable that sort of thing

          • WomanInThePersistence

            If only s/he were actually funny.

    • Doug Langley

      Translation: “I can’t do it myself.”

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    “Excuse me for talking while you’re interrupting me.”

    https://twitter.com/BigLawBiz/status/850439846694985729

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      I am shocked. SHOCKED.

    • Yr. Gma

      I love that jacket on Ruth!

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

    It was really awesome to walk to Target today. I dressed kind of sexy, but not-under-clothed, and the people were nice, it was awesome looking at the new bikinis and shorts, and the cashier was cute and funny. After all that time in my old town getting stared at every day and shit, it was really cool just to enjoy shopping in a decent place.

    • Yay!

    • Nounverb911
      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        That’s fucking awesome! Thank you for showing me! :D

        • Nounverb911
          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            HAHAHA! I <3 Senastian Vettel, hopefully he'll take 1st in Shanghai. Or the Iceman.

            I expect Mercedes to make the adjustments of whatever was making Hamilton unhappy, though.

          • Nounverb911

            Mostly MB’s pit stop strategy, or lack there of.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Yeah. I’d like to see a fight for the Championship. I also too hope McLaren improves. I’ve been a McLaren fan for decades.

          • Nounverb911

            McLaren announced that starting at the next race, they plan on 3D printing spare parts in the garage during the race, break some part on the front wing, they’ll print a new piece while waiting for the car to pit.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            That’s amazing! :D

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Wow! Love that!

      • Parakeetist

        Very nice.

    • Suse

      Happy for you, Anna!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        Thanx Suse. This has been a tough week, Drumpf has triggered all the memories of what my dad did to me.

        I needed today, just to be a normal woman enjoying shopping. :)

        • Suse

          Hugs. Hope you have a happy weekend.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            ~hugs~ And you, Suse. It’s the F1 Grand Prix of Shanghai tomorrow night, so I have something to enjoy.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Whistling Aretha’s RESPECT with you.

    • not_vh

      you. lyrics were like written for you.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTHz9ephYTw

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        You’re very sweet, making me blush ~hugs~

  • Chris is smacking Twitler for being a whimp and following instead of leading

  • Nounverb911

    So much for disabling the airport there donnie.
    https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/850425431899680768

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      You can’t knock out an airbase with Block IV Tomahawks. This was a fucking waste of expensive precision weapons on an inappropriate target, just to make Incesticon look like his dick is larger than a phonograph needle.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Hey, Anna. How are you feeling?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

          Better today, thank you. :) Walking and shopping and enjoying the beautiful weather.

          I think getting it out, about the incest and all, is making it easier to cope.

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            I’m so glad, Anna. I’m sending you a big virtual hug from NYC right now. :)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            ~hugs~ Thank you. :) I’m trying a day at a time. At least i didn’t have he nightmare last night, and I walked about 4 miles in heels today.

          • Yr. Gma

            My feet hurt for you. Geez, you’re brave.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            XD Thanx Hun, but it’s no big. I wore chunky heel boots, and we have great sidewalks here. And I rested for hours barefoot between my two walks.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      If only LaGuardia was as resilient.

    • II Gosala

      But he sent a signal. Isn’t that what’s important?

      • Red Bird Ω

        What was the signal?

        • Nounverb911

          He can waste money with the best of them?

        • georgiaburning

          Buy Raytheon shares

        • II Gosala

          He sent a signal. Doesn’t matter the content. Whatsamatteru?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          “Kaw kaw!”

          Sorry, I do love Galaxy Quest.

        • Doug Langley

          “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Transmit the message, to the
        receiver,
        Hope for an answer some day

        • II Gosala

          Subspace transmission will take approximately 5 years, 243 days and 14 hours to reach coordinates 0:0:0

    • georgiaburning

      A hundred million to make a few dozen holes in the dirt? Most state highway contractors would come in way below that, and the holes would be there for weeks.

    • not_vh

      hi nounverb, i though you might enjoy this. it’s longish but bear with it. vertovo first master to cut things like this.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvTF6B5XKxQ

      • Nounverb911

        It’s great, thanks.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Donnie Dumbass can’t even blow up stuff good !

      • Doug Langley

        Suddenly I feel much more relaxed about nuclear holocaust.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911

    Okay, now for something completely different!
    Got a spare $3,000,000 lying around? If you do, you drive home one of these….

    https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/850115958693875713

    • georgiaburning

      I’ll wait for the guy in Singapore to make the Subaru-chassis clone for $30,000

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      “Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.”

      • Doug Langley

        Fun fact: the show was given an award from a safety organization for showing the Dynamic Duo buckling up.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          “Buckling up, young Robin.”

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      They could have just called it the Oligarch edition, wtf is a chiron anyways.

    • Duke

      Checking…

      Checking again…

      Still checking…

    • yyyaz

      I’d MUCH rather have a nice vintage Ferrari, or Cobra Daytona, a D-Type Jag (or two), or a Monteverdi Hai 450SS, or a coupla Astons and a dozen musclecars.

  • georgiaburning

    Maybe DT is jealous of Arnold’s Mobile Strike game commercials.

    http://core0.staticworld.net/images/article/2016/08/fft-mobilestrike-lead-100674841-large.jpg

    • jelloy of his dye job

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hey! He’s wearing the redundant with the uniform ribbon!

  • Nounverb911

    70 Years of Ferrari from Bloomberg.

    https://twitter.com/business/status/850301720244744192

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      OMG

      I’ll be in my bunk

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Nice, thanks. I will never look at my Corolla the same way. If I squinted, I used to see a 350 GTO.

  • Red Bird Ω

    OT, this week was actually worse than last week. Not looking forward to next week.

    • proudgrampa

      How are you Off Topic? I don’t think ANYONE is looking forward to next week!

      • Alan

        Tuesday is trash day!

      • Red Bird Ω

        I just thought that was they way we started our overnight thread posts.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I’m starting my new job, which would have to be with 45 to be worse. And minihontas is with his dad for A WHOLE WEEK! Sure, he asked for a week of child support back in return, and yes, that’s bullshit, but I’m gonna chalk it up to a win anyway.

        • proudgrampa

          Well, you’ll be fine. And yes, you should chalk it all up as a WIN!

          Yeah, dad is a dipshit. proudgramma and I put up with the same bs for years with her ex. Trust me, it does get better.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Bunkerville, Nevada? Seriously?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Great name for the fundie Mormon shithole that it is.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Gee, our old LaSalle ran great…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Well, it’s factually true.

        Those were the days.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2975c77cba5eff867b0c4e7cd4122680c672b13a4d8d88ed8b53771afb51634f.gif i am not going to lie, I am freaking out now. I am scared we wont see next week or even monday. Its getting to the point where i am thankful that we are still here every morning I wake up.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Breathe! Breathe!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Relax, we’re gonna be ok.
      Cooler heads will prevail, you’ll see.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Cooler heads, i.e. AOT,K?

      • Red Bird Ω

        Really? That island life is making you optimistic.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Maybe, but I am one stubborn fucking bastard.
          And I ain’t givin up.

          The fucking putin loving bastards can suck my fuckin bawlz!

          • Red Bird Ω

            Well that gives me hope.
            OT, ever been to Sugar Loaf Key?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Nope, drove through a few times though. Last time was on the way down to KW for Fantasy Fest.
            I will NEVER do that again. For several reasons.
            1. Traffic fucking sucked.
            2. See above.
            3. One of the people I was with took a bunch of pills and got real wasted, real fast.
            4. See reason #1.
            5. The person mentioned in reason #3 also totally cock blocked me as I was about to hook up with two very attractive and interesting women. They invited me back to their hotel room…to…talk. But NOOOOOOO000000ooooooo!!!ELEVENTYONE!!!111!!!
            My friend staggered up to us and spit up on herself right as she said “I’m trashed, we gotta go now!” . She also happened to be the DD.
            GODDAMMITALLTOHELL, KAREN!?!?!?!!!

            *breathes heavily and blinks back tears*

            Refer to reason #1.

            *in a pleasant BBC nature documentary narrator voice*

            And that’s why I’ve never been to Sugarloaf Key.

          • Red Bird Ω

            The traffic is bad going to KW. There’s more than fantasy fest. Sugar Loaf is more residential than KW.

          • MynameisBlarney

            *sighs*

            I guess that sounded funnier in my head.
            Also,too; It’s true.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Nah. I’m just a boring old fart.

          • MynameisBlarney

            HA!

            Me too these days.

          • Red Bird Ω

            :)

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Don’t worry, be happy.

    • If we are not here next week, we won’t really care. Until then, keep fighting on.
      ’bout all you can do, really.

    • janecita

      We are going to be fine, this is a big nothing.

    • Relativicus

      Think of the art you’ll create!

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      What could possibly go wrong?

      • Doug Langley

        To quote Castro circa 1960 . . .

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Ummmm. Everything. Excuse me, I need to start digging.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      not like we don’t have a flotilla of nuke subs in the Sea of Japan already. guess you have to justify the $54B DoD bump. how do you spell NIMBY in South Korean?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        One Trident off the coast of Maui could do the job just as well.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Do they have any of those exploding cigars left with Fidel’s name on them?

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      B61 Nuclear bombs, for the F-16s at Osan. It’s like theatre, just a bunch of needle dicks that can’t feel like a Real Man without a nuke between their legs.

    • Crank Tango

      Whatever happened to submarines?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Nounverb911
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Doesn’t she believe in right to work laws?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m lol’ing right now.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Poor little snowflake.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’d say “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” but I can’t choose between the two FFS.

    • Shoto

      Comedy you can believe in.

    • Red Bird Ω

      I hope she loses.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      She does have the FoxNews looks. Mr. O’Reilly on floor 4 will be able to see you Monday.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    And I’m taking a 3 and a half minute break. Because sometimes I need to.

    https://youtu.be/LODkVkpaVQA

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’m taking a cigarette break from pinball because I LEFT THE HOUSE!!*
      *Usually, I’m too lazy to put on pants…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        What are these “pants” of which you speak?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I’ve only heard legends, but I opted for a matte latex paint. Zippers scare me, and for some reason I had to shave my legs…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ewwwww…dear god/dess, what fresh hell is this?

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Someone else promised to pay for my drinks. I think it’s a wash, but it was worth it for research purposes. Did you even know there’s like a whole bunch of bars in between the liquor stores? They don’t allow carry-outs, though…and now I know!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Not enough bars in the world to make me shave my legs. Not even bars between liquor stores.

            Actually, that sounds like a dangerous juxtaposition.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is big in my dreams as well:

    https://twitter.com/Vext6/status/850469566446751745

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’d rather see, “Whole administration arrested!” but that’s just me.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “….and sent to Guantanamo for life.”

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          “… Hillary/Nancy inaugurated until new election can be held” (I’m flexible)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          A girl can dream….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Trump and family found in East River”

  • I hope his followers read the bit where while they were out defending him, he stayed safe at home.
    I hope they read that over and over again

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Let’s keep on reminding them, shall we?

    https://twitter.com/mcspocky/status/850467617101955072

    • Stulexington

      Hey Media … point out that he called Putin cause he’s a traitorous Russian lapdog. That one call lets you take the shiny ball and carry it all the way back to the actual news.

  • Serai 1
    • not_vh

      ain’t that the truth

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      Awesome. :D

      When I took my gf R. out to eat, we’d get some looks. Queers are great tippers, because the staff watch our backs.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      True story: once, Mom and I kissed goodbye on the street when we had to go our separate ways. One moment later, Mom heard one girl say to another “eew, they kissed on the lips!” Not missing a beat, Mom turned around and said “that’s OK–I’m her mother.”

      They turned beet red and STFU after that. Good times…

  • My not at all pirated feed of Chris’ show has commerical. I forgot how messed up American drug commercials were

    • Villago Delenda Est

      (opening scene…happy couple playing with golden retriever)

      “Do you sometimes not feel so fresh? Or horny?”

      (Next scene…dogs mating while couple looks on with jealousy)

      “Ask your doctor about (made up name that has nothing to do with amorous intentions or fresh vegtables) and find out if it’s right for you!”

      • you forgot that the commercial takes 10 seconds and the disclaimers about how bad it can be for you takes 30

        • Courser_Resistance

          Heh, I was listening to the radio the other day and there was an ad for some drug for some dumb-ass, silly manageable issue. When I heard the long list of possible side effects, I said out loud, “Fuck that shit – I’ll live with the thing before I go through that!”

  • Picabo

    Fond memories of college at RIT. Autumn was wonderful, especially at Letchworth State Park. Winter was not so pleasant, to put it politely. But we had a great hockey team. So this is why I follow the NCAA Frozen Four. Not sports ball.
    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2702304-frozen-four-2017-alex-iafallo-sends-minnesota-duluth-to-final-with-late-goal

    • not_vh

      ooh RIT. They used to have a great optics lab.

  • Doug Langley

    Is this the open thread? Hello? This thing on? Whatever.

    Anyway, I want to thank everyone for dropping a little cash into my gofundme. We went well over $100, and I’ll use the extra for utility bills. It really lifted pressure from my shoulders knowing not everyone in the world is a tight-fisted business owner who’s fine seeing me writhe in the gutter.

    Phone interview Monday. If I get it, I’ll be moving to Maryland. Hate moving, but there’s just nothing here.

    • Congrats & i was happy to help! Break a leg on Monday!

      • Doug Langley

        Thanks, Pick! Don’t know which was yours, but appreciate it.

        I think the best part was seeing everyone’s real name. Even if I couldn’t names with aliases, it’s oddly comforting to see real people around me.

        • I am Laura S (to borrow Kafka, but not the cockroaches)

          • Doug Langley

            That’s pretty.

          • Thanks. As a child of the 80s, there were always two other Lauras in my classes

          • Doug Langley

            True story: when I grew up, there were two Mark Robinson’s in my class. And they weren’t related. Family across the street was Robinson (we were good friends). Our insurance agent was Robinson. And my driver ed teach was Mr Robinson. Not one of these was related to the other.

            And all this in a small town of about 6000 pop. Weird or what?

          • Did you live in a Robinson magnet? You can’t explain that!

          • Doug Langley

            Must have been all the Lost In Space we watched.

          • Rasilom

            The group I hung with in HS had Jim, Jim, Dave, Dave and Daryll. Then there was a gal in one of my college classrs named Kellie Kelly. I think her parents must have hated her to do a name like that.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Try Bunny Easter. Yes, I had a work-study job at my university one year. So last name, first, She was the Easter, Bunny forevermore.

          • mean parents.

          • My best friend was dating a guy with last name Almond forever. She wanted to name any kid they had Joy

          • Rasilom

            Always, they are unicorns after all…

          • Courser_Resistance

            In my suburb of Rockford, it was majority Scandinavian so scads of Nelsons, Carlsons & Olsons, with a few Scot-English (my grandparents) thrown in for good measure.

          • Doug Langley

            Oh . . . my . . . god . . . my brother lives in Rockford.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Hee! I grew up in Loves Park ’til we moved to CO in 1973, when I was about 14 or so. Childhood there and ‘grew up’ here.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            I have a somewhat unusual first name and an extremely unusual last name. Years ago I was in a minor car accident and the next day I got a phone call from someone in the same town (medium size) with my EXACT name because someone had contacted her about the accident thinking she was me.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Hey Doug, do you do contract work? Or are you looking for permanent employment?

      • Doug Langley

        Yes and yes. I HATE contract. Just can’t stand looking for work ALL THE TIME.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Where is your gofundme? I missed this.

      • Doug Langley

        gofundme.com/dougs-expenses

        And this time I got it right!

        • I am not paid til next friday sweetie :hugs: I am sorry :/ If it is still around I will contribute too!

          • Doug Langley

            I’ll keep it open, thanks so much!!

          • janecita

            I just dropped you a few bucks. Good luck with your interview:-)

          • Doug Langley

            Thanks! The job sounds really sweet, other than the part about “must be able to work on 3 projects concurrently”.

          • That is how they save money for luxuries like employees- by having said employees do the work of 3-5 people!

          • Doug Langley

            Amazing how many job descriptions are “must be able to do this and do that and do that . . .”

          • On time I got a job being an apprentice to a carpenter. The ad said “Must know how to use a tape measure and not have problems on ladders”
            Best. Ad. Ever.

          • Doug Langley

            Sigh. I get SO tired of idiot ads. “Must be team player” (wait, I work with a team in a company of 20 thousand?) “Must have knowledge of Microsoft Outlook” (gosh, maybe I should learn this email stuff) “Must prioritize quickly and move forward confidently without having all desired information” (So I have to make up for a boss who can’t even communicate????)

          • If I saw that must prioritize quickly thing in an ad I would call them up just to laugh at them for putting that in an ad, and then ask them if there was an HR position opening up, because there should be
            I am mean tho….

          • Doug Langley

            I just pulled off a real, actual ad. And I’ve seen hundreds of others just as loony. Seriously, what are these HR people THINKING??????

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It’s still there.

          • I do not know how the gofunding works, but I know some have expirations on them. Or maybe that is the kickstarting thing

          • Doug Langley

            I better check. I got the impression, maybe wrong, the campaign shuts down once you withdraw the money.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’ve never until now gofunded in my life. But this link worked. It was pretty easy. And heaven knows I’ve been broke in my life. Of course, I’m seriously hoping it has great security.

          • oooo no I know the link works, I followed it XD I was just telling Doug that I do not get paid til next week so I can help then if it is still around XD
            Sorry, migraine here, I am not being very clear

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No, you’re fine. Sorry. I misunderstood.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Thanks.

  • Joy is panelling on Chris!

    • janecita

      I love that woman! I totally have a girl crush on her.

      • I like when she’s covering Lawrence or Chris and she and Rachel nerd out at each other

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        America agrees. Greta is looking over her shoulder.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Red Bird Ω

      I don’t geknow it.

    • Rick Hill

      Well if it takes 90 million to get trump’s numbers up then its’ well worth it!

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      He could have played Noah and landed a few Lockheed C-5 Galaxys there and got the beautiful babies and families the fuck out of there. Oh, wait,EO, you know.

  • Nounverb911
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      We are, all of us, conspiracy theorists. And it’s not crazy. I think we took a wrong turn and accidentally passed into the wrong universe.

      • It is not really conspiracy theory when it happens to actually fit.
        I would like to believe the guy saw dead kids and went NO. No more!
        But the entire thing reeks staged.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          TBH I think it was Jared who helped stage it.

          • I would be very happy to be wrong :/
            But he is in it up to his road kill hair cut with Russia. His numbers were tanking and he was a global joke. Enter a protected puppet doing…more of the same bad things he has been doing for a long time now and suddenly the republicans care?
            Yeah.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            No, no, I mean *Russian accent* “Donnie, you are a good boy. Go play with your toys. I must speak to Jared.” Because everyone (even non-existent gods) know Donnie isn’t smart enough to take down and follow complex instructions.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Entry to the darkest timeline comes with a tin foil hat.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Joy calling out the media-wide Trump blowjob today hallelujah.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Kinda feelin’ like Mike right now…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuhhSsafioM

  • Rick Hill

    Busy since about one today and just got back. Are we still at war with Eurasia?

    • MynameisBlarney

      We’re always at war with Eurasia.

      • Rick Hill

        I was hoping someone would get tired and just take their ball and go home.

        • jesterpunk

          Well Trump did go to his golf course this weekend.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • I hope he does run.
      NY really does not like Trumps. Even a little.

  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911
    • Count Awesome

      “They hate us because of our green golf courses and gold plate toilets.”
      –Trump

    • MynameisBlarney

      Turmp: “Mulligan”.

    • Crank Tango

      He’ll be in the sand trap soon enough.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPmy5lJjtEw

    Engine warm-ups on Ferrari F1 cars – warning, at max revs, these Bitches are *LOUD*!

    • I upvote because you love it so, and I adore you <3
      But peace and quiet are my go to points XD

      • I am sitting in the dark, eating cookies, and watching Chris under a sleepingbag

        • I am heading to bed to read a lil, my books came in yay XD But migraine on a friday=sleepy time fo sho

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        ~hugs~ Thanx Jen. There’s another video, they warm and start the Brawn F1, and it’s so loud at max rev that the microphone fails.

    • snark-lurker

      you went [there] without ear plugs?! you poor, silly goose

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        No, not me. :D I’ve never been to an F1. Airshows, yes. I love jet noise. XD

    • Major_Major_Major

      I will see your Ferrari and raise you a KTM RC16.
      https://youtu.be/6WUKcJ4Pg4Q
      that Ferrari sounds soooo sweet

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        Oooh, the MotoGP has a good sound. :)

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I’m sorry, but today is a day where I just can’t get too serious.

    https://youtu.be/PIb6AZdTr-A

  • Shoto
  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Ooh, Rachel’s starting out in hot professor mode tonight.

  • Relativicus

    Are they at least allowed to explain the significance of the fringe on an American flag? A lot of people don’t know.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    “…Regardless, the conclusion must be that any Syria “pivot” has its roots in Trump’s approval-seeking personality, his proneness to being thrown off course by media coverage, his shallowness of purpose.

    This is why, rather than being reassuring, his sudden discovery of his conscience on Syria is profoundly disturbing. Major strategic decisions should not be made like this. Of course, Trump may simply sabre-rattle for a bit, then quieten down. But he might instead want a show of force. That could involve cratering a few runways, or something far more muscular. But these are decisions with consequences that would last far longer than the president’s attention span.

    Whatever you think of the merits of western intervention in Syria, the idea of Trump directing it is, frankly, terrifying. And even though you may despise the current murky detente, so is the idea of this chaotic, underqualified White House being at loggerheads with Russia. The international order may be vulnerable, and dictators emboldened. But so long as this man is in charge, we must pray that the promise of an isolationist America is fulfilled.”

    “Trump’s change of heart on Syria isn’t reassuring, it’s profoundly disturbing”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/apr/06/donald-trump-conscience-syria-terrifying?CMP=share_btn_tw

    • ayep. The world is telling us to go the fuck home now.
      This was not staged at all.

    • jesterpunk

      If he actually cared about Syria or anyone there he would let refugees into this country.

    • Stulexington

      My big concern right now is all the half baked ideas that can come out of an excited military might start getting rubber stamped.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Dammit, I meant to post what she’s replying to:

      https://twitter.com/BigBadDumb/status/850390836089159680

      • Well at least he is honest in calling himself dumb.
        Ahem, lil dumb whatevers? It is not hypocrisy to say “not that”. I know wingnuts have trouble with things like words, but you should at least understand that one, since you guys wrote the book on how to be hypocrites.

      • Count Awesome

        I could use a liberal fucking about now.

      • HogeyeGrex

        lol 🍆 💦

      • WomanInThePersistence

        “Big Bad Dumb Show” ? Really? That is the platonic ideal of A idiot.

        • Count Awesome

          “Big Bad Dumb Show” is the name of the ska cover band that dreses like Trump impersonators that I’m putting together. It’s all show and no substance too, also.

    • RobKanC

      This is a big distraction orchestrated by Drumpf and Putin to steer everyone away from the investigation. A couple more weeks of leaks would have buried Herr. Fuhrer and he knows it. Now he can show off how he took on his former master with guts while really it was Putin who allowed his dog to do it.

  • Oooooooo…Rachel is punching hard!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Damn you, and your cable/satellite TV.

      • Dude. Youtubes. MSNBC would have cost me a jillion dollars if i still had cable

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Dude. Going to the YouTubes now.

          And back. It’s all a day old.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Looking forward to seeing her recap at 9 Pacific tonight!

  • Picabo

    “RUSSIA SENDS WARSHIPS TOWARD U.S. NAVY AFTER SYRIA BOMBING”
    http://www.newsweek.com/russia-warships-us-navy-syria-bomb-580721

  • sundaytrucker

    I’ve always thought he was completely innocent of treason. He was just doing what any proud, hard-working, patriot would do: steal as much from the federal government as possible. His only mistake was not stealing enough to grease the palms of high ranking elected officials. It was the brain dead Fox watchers that wanted to turn a simple tax avoidance scheme into Concord and Lexington. If anyone should be hooked to a car battery and demanded a list of names, it’s Sean Hannity.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Ωbjectifier

    Fuck Walnutz and his ‘look what you made me do’ bullshit. I am so sick of that old man.

    • he used almost the same tone an abuser does when telling their victim that they made them hit them.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Gaslighting. It’s not for kids.

  • boyblue123

    The Breitbart bots are pushing the FireKushner tag over on twitter. They are desperate to save their pepe master Bannon

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hahahahahahahahaha!

    • Dumbasses still do not realize that they are completely expendable now.
      The Pooty pants Brigade used Bannon and his mindless dipshits. They are no longer needed.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Nor wanted.

        • Especially not wanted. Fucking wimps no like the oil wars that keep their dear leaders so rich?
          pfftttt

      • Stulexington

        Oh they’re worse than expendable, they’re a target. He’s an abuser, he’s going to abuse those who voted for him because it’s a game, how much can he abuse them and then bring them back with a non-pology. Even if he pushes too far and doesn’t get a second term all he has to do is wait a couple of terms and a lot of them will come crawling back to the smirking shitgibbon and cheer at his rallies again.

    • Claire

      They can’t seriously believe Mr. Nepotism would fire his own son-in-law.

      • boyblue123

        They believe pizzagate is a thing. Theyll believe anything is possible

        • Claire

          Okay, that’s a good point. Maybe they do.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Gee, you mean they don’t want to end the WAR ON COAL!!! after all?

    https://twitter.com/jerrykerns/status/850451712506724354

    • Claire

      That is hilarious.

      • even the coal industry doesn’t use their own dirty expensive product so long as there are cheaper products to be had.
        Free hand!

        • Courser_Resistance

          Between legal weed, and energy companies saying , ‘No thanks’ to coal-fired plants in favor of wind and solar, the Holy Free Market is stompin’ all over Rs hopes and dreams

          • Claire

            Sessions is in for the fight of his life if he really wants to re-institute weed prohibition. That shit is a license to print money.

          • Courser_Resistance

            TrueDat. Even the naysayers have been soothed by the steady flow of those sweet, sweet tax dollars. Granted, it’s not a ginormous amount in relation to the state budget, but it’s funded a lot of community programs that people like.

    • Count Awesome

      They should pull themselves up by their coal mining helmets.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Or by the ancient rope ladders they’ll have to use after the mine shaft elevator stops working. Heh heh. She said shaft.

    • Rick Hill

      Not to worry. Hillary would have tried to retrain these people. What a wasted effort. trump’s completely meaningless effort(sic) will give them a more important lesson than any school would ever teach them

      • Count Awesome

        But they aren’t educated enough to know that you have to know history not to repeat it.

  • jesterpunk
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • Count Awesome

      To be honest, I’m pretty sure she is not sucking her gay (allegedly) husband’s​ dick.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      That fucking cunt. My father, the Good Christian Deacon and Cop, molested and raped me, but she says “Gays” want to eliminate age of consent?

      These fucking braindead subhumans would rather burn our nation to ashes than allow people like me any dignity or respect.

      You think I’m afraid, Reich-wingers? I’ve fucking survived shit that would break the lot of you into pieces. Do your worst, and Do. It. Now! I’m weary of your cowardice!

      • jesterpunk

        I am so sorry you went through that, I hope things are a lot better for you now.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

          It’s almost funny. The fucking President of he United States is afraid of *me*. These people, these subhuman hate-filled pieces of camel offal are such cowards, such pissants, such wastes-of-skin, that it’s just pathetic.

      • Picabo
        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

          Thank you. That brought tears to my eyes.

    • Why be civil?
      Michelle Bachmann, you vacuous dried up tampon, you are a useful tool for your beloved party, and the second you stop being that, they will leave you to whine on the edge, much like so many of the ladies who waffled ignorant tripe before you.
      Hope you enjoy your bitter, empty, lonely middle aged irrelevancy.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        This is an outstanding use of the English language.

      • jesterpunk

        I didnt want to get banned for saying what I really think of her.

        • Just gotta remember it is always with votes.
          Or just remind folks that her stardom begins and ends with her usefulness to her masters. And they will throw her out like a used tissue, gunky with green snot and covered with some cigarette ash maybe, and no one will want to touch her again. She’ll become not unlike an object of ridicule, trotted out for remember when functions, and shunted back away when done exploiting even the tattered remains of her once seeming glory.

          • Sunnyinwyoming

            Isn’t she already an object of ridicule?

  • Picabo

    I’ve been waiting for this. “The Christian Pastor Whose Anti-Planned Parenthood Video Backfired Just Made the Same Mistake Again”
    Ha!
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/04/07/the-christian-pastor-whose-anti-planned-parenthood-video-backfired-just-made-the-same-mistake-again/

    • He was so mad, he said he was “lit”… which I guess is hipster-pastor-speak for being completely self-unaware.

      That is a beautiful line

    • Vecchioivan

      D’oh!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Count Awesome

      Winning 1!!1!

    • yeah.
      Not at all a staged show to look tough

      • C4TWOMAN

        They can’t even wait 24 hours for appearances.
        Geez, supervillians in Legends of Tomorrow are 100% more realistic strategists than villains in real life. Neither Damian Darhk or Malcolm Merlin would settle for this bad craftsmanship…

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/91ced39d77980918b648d5529e26c2c48ed2c728cbde750e15e2dce4e02416f9.jpg Ha! Of course you have to call ahead and make an appointment for these sorts of things.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      I wish I could like this a million times.

      • Ill-Advised

        I have but one upvote to give, but there you. ‘Tis a worthy think to be Liked.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Exactly. Anyone who thinks there’s not play behind this attack I have a bridge to sell…

  • Iron Monkey

    He was never at the wash during the “stand-off”

    Cliven does seem like a guy who never washed.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Donald’s only loyalty is to his family, staffers. He’ll dump you off the moment it is convenient for him to do so. How about you start talking about Russia now?

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/850434345852686337

    • Count Awesome

      Makes me wonder if Trump is wearing old kleenex boxes as shoes and if the oval office will be getting a “pee-jar” shelf soon.

    • boyblue123

      Compared to the possible replacements that have been named, Reince looks reasonable.

      Goldman Sachs exec, Raytheon lobbyist, Trump’s economic adviser from Blackstone on the replacement list

      https://twitter.com/Khanoisseur/status/850483250451537921

      • I have to ask but…what fucking president needs to replace his COS 12 weeks in?

        • Count Awesome

          He’s planning on starting season 2 a lot earlier than expected. Pretty soon Barron will be cast as the ” cute, precocious kid”.

        • boyblue123

          Someone who has the attention span of a goldfish and IQ of a peanut

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Re Bannon. Things didn’t end well for the Romanovs after they kicked Rasputin out.

    • Trusts no one but family huh?
      Wouldn’t it be a hoot if all the leaks came from Jared?

    • Jon Sussex

      Ivana and Marla on line one.

    • Panika MCD

      tell that to Tiffany.

  • Count Awesome

    Trump will use the same strategy as Bundy if and when the Russian connections are proved true.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Which is…deny everything and deflect until they have too much on you and then throw your underlings under the bus?

      Yeah…
      Sounds about right.

      • deny, deflect, throw underlings AND bomb random airstrips

        • Count Awesome

          You forgot “grope women”.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Which could be quite entertaining: “Who gets thrown under the bus tonight?”

      • Count Awesome

        AOT,K!

  • Iron Monkey

    Time for the True Believers to get some reality. Trump is the rankest of
    rank opportunists. He doesn’t believe anything other than what benefits
    him. Bannon and the boyz thought they had converted Trump to their
    insane ideas and that he would be a dead-ender like the Brietbart crew
    but they are now as useful to him as a used condom, so they get flushed.

  • Vecchioivan

    White man speak with cliven tongue . . .

    • Count Awesome

      White ammon speak with cliven tongue.
      FTFY

  • janecita

    I just explained the meaning of “cuck” to my wonderful, innocent husband.

    • Trauma!

      • janecita

        He was like “No way, that’s what it means?” “Those losers really are pathetic!”

        • I had to explain bukkake to people i didn’t know well a couple of years ago. Thanks Cards Against Humanity!

          • janecita

            That must have been a funny conversation!

          • Oh yeah. I felt real classy

          • Count Awesome

            It’s a little like Kabuki, in that it’s a show where a woman performs with a white face.

          • janecita

            Just a tad stickier.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            XD

    • Tallmutha

      This is the end, the end of the innocence.

      • Count Awesome

        I lost my innocence a long time ago.

      • janecita

        Poor, poor innocent no more husband:-(

    • Panika MCD

      explain it to me because I don’t find that people who are not getting laid at all ever have any room to speak about whether or not someone else may be a cuckold. it would seem that the cuckold actually managed to get laid at some point.

      • janecita

        ” It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.”

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          It is a misogyny, wrapped in another misogyny, inside a misogyny.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Dafuq was the point of them, then, if not to shore up Donald’s shaky reign?

    https://twitter.com/joshrogin/status/850178642982338560

    • lol, we were just slappin his wrist! We’re still best buds and don’t care if he bombs all the beautiful babbies with normal bombs

    • Iron Monkey

      Translation: We just like to blow shit up once in while.

    • boyblue123

      All that a one time bombing by the US does is make Assad look stronger. His regime survived the US bombing and can still go about its business carpet bombing innocent civilians

    • Doug Langley

      Wait – they have a policy?? News to me.

      • Same policy as ever- do what pooty says

        • Stulexington

          And fuck the poors.

          • Persistent Demme

            And no refugees, (no matter how “beautiful” they are).

    • Left Coast Tom

      In a way this might be true. Trump never had a “policy or posture” on Syria, or anything else other than grifting, so it’s impossible for that to have changed.

    • Panika MCD

      “and I would much prefer that POTUS not look at me directly,” Rex added.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Rachel made me play this.

    https://youtu.be/SKWfnO7fhQM

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Uncle Pete Seeger approves the message, maybe objects to the amplifiers.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I adore Uncle Pete. And have no doubts that he would have loved that this song lives on.

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          As a teen I set up a date with a girl to see Pete in concert. Show up that evening to pick her up and am greeted by her Dad telling me his daughter would not be hearing from any Communist tonight. It was a good show too.

  • II Gosala

    OK, wonketeers. I’ve laundry to hang and sleeps to sleep. But we all deserve a little foot stomping good times.

    https://youtu.be/GrREZGWZzco

    Good night and good news.

    • good night, Gosala :hugs:

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Pleasant dreams.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      ‘Night, Gosala. :)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • WomanInThePersistence

      I know these words. But they make no sense.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I love him so freaking much! He’s my new boyfriend. And I only just discovered him recently. Someone here put me on to Rachel Maddow — I didn’t really watch her until very recently — and then I stayed up to watch LD. Best decision ever. Rachel and Lawrence complete me.

    • Idaho4644

      It’s interesting that Tillerson used the word “posture”. Did he accidentally speak an unintended truth?

      From the Oxford Dictionary: Posture- A way of behaving that is intended to convey a false impression; a pose. Behave in a way that is intended to impress or mislead; ‘a masking of fear with macho posturing’

      • oooo good catch
        Websters should throw that tweet up and then define posture for their word of the day

  • Juan de Fuca

    Besides the fact that Drexler needs to be in jail for pointing an armed rifle at anyone, I’ve got a question for all of my fellow former/current members of the Armed Forces – did any one else look at this picture and wonder what this dipshit was hoping to accomplish by sticking the barrel of his rifle in a 2″ gap between two jersey barriers?

    Fucking idiots, the lot of them.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/056436f15b15a891e68315a1aaab2290d05c98eb20ecd4f7f8efda1d0e6a14ed.jpg

    • I am sure he thought it made him look quite badass and ready for action. You know, behind the barriers so people could not shoot back at him because SAFE!

      • Juan de Fuca

        That’s a good point. Also, if he would’ve taken up a better firing position by using the top of the barrier (I keep hearing my old drill sergeant bellowing, SCAN YOUR SECTOR!), it would’ve had alerted the feds down below that, “Hey, there’s some dipshit pointing an assault rifle at us from up there” and he may’ve been arrested on the spot, I would think/hope? So, eitherway a coward. And a dipshit.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      What the fuck is that toy he’s holding? It looks like a Kalashnikov had sex with the Master Chief’s laser, and then peed on it. These fucking needle-dicked losers are so obvs. compensating that it’s laughable.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I’d like to know where these people get the money for all of these weapons. I earn a decent income and would like to own AR-15 but don’t for two reasons:

        1) We need to change our gun nut culture and I’ll start with me.
        2) I’ve got better and far more important things to spend a thousand dollars + on.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

          I used to know a guy, lived at home into his 40s, basic job, had loads of guns, including a Colt AR with Eotech scope, rails, a Spotlamp, he had more shit on that rifle than I have cute shoes.

          He’s put maybe 70 rounds thru it. He’s not a hater, but he’s a Mall Ninja.

  • Sakonyachen

    I have a ton of militant friends. Shit, I’m pretty militant. I realize if I draw weapons on feds that I may face prosecution. So do my friends. Where is the disconnect?

    • Count Awesome

      “Free-dumb!”

    • Panika MCD

      that people are calling their actions “civil”.

    • What gets me is unarmed protesters are thugs and should be driven over, har har, but armed insurrection is A OK!

  • Panika MCD

    violence is never civil. it may be civic, but it is not civil.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Fergetit, Jake, Republican.
      We’ll find out in about 10 years how his most ardent followers now all hated him, really! Just like W

    • Panika MCD

      59 missiles to take out one air strip is overkill for sure. and not checking that whole, “say, why does Russia have a different story about the chemical attack than everyone else on the planet? hmmmm…” thing first made the whole thing even dumber.

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s fuckin Kabuki Theater.

        • natoslug

          Given the subjects, be thankful, at least, that it was not bukakke theatre.

      • Rick Hill

        Read earlier that some had been shot down. Nice to help the Russians test their defense systems against our missiles

      • jesterpunk

        He took out the air strip so well that Syria was able to use it a few hours later.

        http://www.reuters.com/article/us-mideast-crisis-syria-airport-idUSKBN1792XA

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Well, he didn’t shoot the missiles in the direction of LA.

  • Count Awesome

    Trump’s missile strike was quite a gamble. We all know his luck with casinos.

    • jesterpunk

      So he is going to bankrupt Syria, ISIS and North Korea?

  • C4TWOMAN

    This does not surprise me at all: Ammon learned all he knows from daddy.

    I know many don’t have much sympathy for “tarp man” Finnicum(sp?). But as idiotic, irresponsible and misguided as he was, he seemed to be a sincere believer, or even someone Ammon went out of his way to cultivate/con. Tarpman wasn’t a rabid racist like most of the Bundistas; he befriended the only Asian Yeehawdist Fry–I’ve known guys like him, loopy, but not malicious. And what did he get for his misguided loyalty? Shot dead by LE.

    I believe LE was justified–I just wish a more deserving soul died. Like Ammon. Look at Ammon’s mugshot-right after one of his supposed friends has been shot dead. I swear the fucker is smirking. “At least it wasn’t me”. I wasn’t sure if I was being fair with these feelings at the time; maybe Ammon was sorry his sovereign citizens LARPing got someone killed. Now I see daddy trying to weasel out of responsibility and nah. Ammon is trash just like daddy. I would dearly like him up on some sort of murder charges.

    RIP Tarpman–maybe in your next reincarnation take up some less lethal type of woo? Like UFO watching?

    • Tarpman used foster children as slave labor on his ranch and considered the childcare payments for them to be his revenue. His main revenue.
      Fuck him. Fuck the lot of them.

      • C4TWOMAN

        When I read about that what I got was it was his wife managing them. Not that that’s an excuse. Loopy irresponsible and out of touch with reality. And yeah, if you want to fuck up your life, fine, but don’t drag kids into it.

        • I read it was him, wife was their caretaker as the lil woman.
          They got taken away when he decided to become a militia loon and, of course, he blamed the gubmint for depriving him- not of the children!- but of his income.

          Edit: Should note: Was not the gubmint, was Catholic Charities who decided the kids they placed with him needed to be moved.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Maybe my memory going, but these were the Freedom Singing children, were they?(not their real names, just forget exactly whom) I thought that was some other equally dysfunctional family…

          • Jennifer R

            No, that was Shanna Cox.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Thx.

          • Freedom singing children? The ones at the rallies early on that got stiffed on their pay?

          • C4TWOMAN

            Nah, Shanna Cox and co.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Fuck the entire lot, cluster, quorum and aggregrate of them too.

        AOT,K.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I am drinking a G&T (lots of G) staring at the high desert and waiting for the mushroom clouds in the distance……………

    • :huggles: won’t be one, Jeff. Not yet anyway.
      Staged stunt to drive up price of oil, they have no intentions of destroying all their power like that.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I don’t think North Korea could hit you yet. I’ll wave goodbye from the left coast.

      • Panika MCD

        yes, but it seems we like bombing deserts.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yeah, but we’re actually theoretically reachable.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Rachel is on fire tonight.

    • I concur. And this Alabama thing is hilarious

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Bless our hearts, and other parts! :)

        I love how you could hear the crew in the studio laughing in the background.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yes, it would be nice if this were impossible to believe:

    https://twitter.com/Lawrence/status/850420599428198400

  • JD Mulvey

    Hey, let’s have a huuge larf at the expense of our hapless Press Secretary! You love that, right? Yeah, me too!!

    This is a vast new deposit of comedy gold, trust me:

    http://thecollegevoice.org/2017/02/06/vintage-spice-dave-bry-tells-the-voice-about-life-with-the-white-house-press-secretary/

    • JD Mulvey
      • what was the misspelling???

        • JD Mulvey

          They printed a letter to the editor he wrote, opposing a smoke-free campus. The sig, as published, read “Sean Sphincter.”

          • JD Mulvey

            In the link I posted up there^, the same paper interviews his freshman roomate, who confirms that Spicey had this nickname long before the newspaper printed it.

        • Jon Sussex

          Sean Sphincter.

          • gigglesnort.
            ok, well, not professional. But funny!

          • Jon Sussex

            Meh. An easy mistake to make.

    • JD Mulvey
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      He was very into, like, always having a
      sense of humor, and funny, and laughing and chatty. And that was
      something that was, you know, kind of pleasant about him. But he wasn’t
      so good at it. And he wasn’t very popular, I would say—he was like, he
      would walk into the room and everyone would kind of go: “Ugh, Spicer.”
      But he was aware of that, and so then would like, play with it, so he’d
      be like: “Hey, come on guys! It’s just me! Come on, let’s have a beer;
      we love each other! Yeah, come on—oh, I know you don’t like me, but
      that’s just because you don’t know me!” He’d put his arm around you, and
      kind of be like, “come on!” you know? And so it was this very
      interesting combination of characteristics, where you could tell he
      really wanted to be liked; he tried a little too hard.

      I have no trouble believing this. He looks miserable at the podium FFS.

  • Rick Hill

    I believe the voices in my head that are saying this: “No, trust me. This will take the spotlight from your actions. The target locations are included, here. Do not worry. All our equipment and men will not be present, no awkward deaths just go ahead, donald, this will be best for all of us.”

    • Count Awesome

      Plus, “think off all the pussy you’ll get for being so manly” also, too.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Bundy was overheard to report: “There’s one thing I can tell you about the Militias….”

  • Courser_Resistance

    So I saw my doctor today to take care of a minor thing and now have an appt for Monday to talk more in depth about my mental health. Hoping we can come up with a med adjustment that will make me a bit better.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Changes in personal chemistry, new drugs and differences due to metabolism and age are what make it all interesting. Both my boys have to rethink their meds at least yearly….

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And let’s not forget that Donald likely wanted to distract us from this as well:

    https://twitter.com/JimPethokoukis/status/850348812199768064

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/850326884160352256

    • boyblue123

      im sure closed borders will grind the economy to a halt in a couple more months

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      This is on Obama. Trump gets takes credit for the previous month.

    • ariel_gee_398

      The jobs numbers will never be this bad again, by next month they’ll be better at “fixing” the data.

    • Rick Hill

      He’s going to start blowing shit up left and right when he starts crashing and burning.

      “What’s wrong? I used to goose my numbers right up there when we attacked someone. Now, nothing. Going down again. what am I doing wrong? Maybe I need more splash. Like hitting someone everyone hates. I’ve been saying I’ll do something about N Korea. Maybe this is just the shot in the arm my image needs.”

    • Sooooo he will take credit for the strong Jan numbers, but I am BETTING he blames Obama for the week March numbers

      • TundraGrifter

        The REVISED January and February numbers. President Trump was quick to try to grab the credit (like he tries to grab something else) but they’ve been revised down – wasn’t it 38,000?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

    Ima OK Y’all. I threw some panties in the laundry, and played Star Trek Online. My fave mission: Brotherhood of the Sword, on “Elite” difficulty. You fight Iconians in the Klingon Great Hall.

    My female Andorian would prefer to explore strange new worlds, or Y’know, sex with Orion women, but push comes to shove, she’s a Stone Killer with a full-auto compression Phaser.

    My Baby Girl and I always exchange news of our video gaming triumphs. At the climax of the Iconian War, I emailed her: “2 weeks ago, the Klingon Emperor made a God bleed. Tonight, me and my Away Team made a God *die*.”

    • Jennifer R

      I should go do the Brute Justice fight in FFXIV again. You fight robots that Voltron up to Japanese Disco. What is not to love.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        Sweet! XD

        The Iconians mostly use robots, and the height difference means that my Andorian chick is shooting robots in their Robodicks.

        • Jennifer R

          And now you reminded me of a part from Transmetropolitan where Spider is talking about the 300 foot tall defence mechs that ring The City, and how they used to have control systems in the genitals, until they rusted off and kill a bunch of people.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Hahaha. The Turn “A” Gundam had a literal “cock”pit.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Btw, Millenials who couldn’t be bothered to vote. Sorry about the loss of your physical autonomy. I tried. Best of luck to you. Too bad you screwed over a boatload of other people as well as yourselves.

    • Millenials, Boomers, xers, so many did not bother to vote this round.
      Because both sides do it.
      Because it does not matter.
      Because pft, our rights are iron clad, they surely can’t mean they will do that to /me/.
      It is cyclical- people have to actually lose some rights before they remember why people fought for them to begin with.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Fair enough. I was wrong to blame the Millenials. I guess I just feel that reproductive freedom gives them a little more skin in the game. As it were.

        • Panika MCD

          you weren’t wrong at all.

        • Oh no, was not criticizing, just adding to it.
          It still bugs me so very much that only what, 26% of the people who could did vote.

      • jesterpunk

        That really doesnt work, look at what happened with these right to work laws and demonizing unions. So many people blame unions or someone else for wages and working conditions going down and are fine with companies getting more and more tax breaks and benefits. For a lot of people if they have someone else to blame or hate they dont care their own lives are getting worse.

      • Panika MCD

        largest voting bloc is still 55-75 white people.

        • Shanzgood

          Scary

          • Panika MCD

            they’re always down to let block walkers use their potties and will make sure you have water or a soda before you leave–even when they identify as GOP.

      • theCryptofishist

        Well, I’m waiting to see if the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Off will have a new slogan in 2018.

    • Shanzgood

      Should I still be pissed at my purity pony trans lesbian Bernie-bro (yes, I said that) friends who wrote in votes for Bernie because “it doesn’t make any difference because we’re in Kansas so we might as well vote our conscience”? Keeping in mind these two went right out to all the anti-trump protest marches every damn time.

      • Panika MCD

        yes. marches are the fun part and optional. you have to do the voting part–it is your civic duty.

        • At least they DID vote though.

          • Panika MCD

            no they didn’t. they held up the line and harassed some poll workers. when he’s not on the write in list, he’s not on the write in list and it counts the same as if they’d left the race blank.

          • I disagree. Actually going counts.
            It is the ridiculous amount who did not bother to go at all that needs to be addressed more.

          • Panika MCD

            so it’s okay to hold up the line so people who may have actually voted for HRC had to go home because they didn’t have enough money to pay the babysitter for an extra hour?

          • Hold up the line? Shan is talking about a couple friends doing a write in. Takes seconds to vote, minutes tops. Plus I have the feeling anyone….safe enough? To do protest voting is not in the neighborhoods where there are long lines at the polls.

          • Panika MCD

            write ins take a lot longer. I’ve worked the polls. it’s not a moral thing to do unless you’re voting for someone on the write in list. it’s just annoying.

          • I have not but I do not see it as amoral. Bit dickish to the poll workers maybe but ours here don’t even handle the papers, they just direct you to the machine to feed the ballot into. At least they are going. It is a step in the right direction.
            Maybe we could get through to them that going off the official list is especially useless, even to use in a protest vote, and try to get em to stick to the list at least? Baby steps are still steps forward

          • Panika MCD

            see: no problem with the people who voted for McMullin. most of our GOP establishment people did. no problem with that. holding up the line so you can vote for your own personal Jesus I’m not down for.

          • theCryptofishist

            Maybe there needs to be a creche. And, of course, more early voting. Not a complete answer, but I think that it’s going to turn out to be many little things. *sigh*

          • HazooToo

            Jen, do you remember the part of the night when Texas ever-so-briefly flirted with the color Blue? I thought I was seeing a freakin miracle.

          • I do. It is a good sign and, if we can tap those who did not show up, a potentially devastating one

          • HazooToo

            Exactly. That’s why I’m still mad at people who say “It’s a red state, so my vote doesn’t count.” If they had voted like adults, we may not be dealing with this shit right now. Especially angry with my fellow PA assholes.

          • that is a good point.
            If more people took it seriously, there may be a lot more purple going on.

          • Panika MCD

            we flirted with the color blue in 2006 and 2008 when Dems were elected to more than half of the elected positions in the state.

          • HazooToo

            I’m hoping you decide the blue really does complement your eyes in 2018, and then go full Cinderella blue in 2020,

          • Panika MCD

            have you seen our maps? I think that some people are going to be primaried out by the Texas Association of Business because they’re sick of the Tea Party’s bullshit.

            if you want us to really turn blue faster, you need to donate to whoever we nominate to run for Harris County Clerk–we got their Tax Assessor-Collector (which is also the voter registrar) and DA last cycle. now we just need the Clerk (which is also the Elections Administrator) to really get some stuff going on. having the most populous county’s elections run by Dems would be a big start to turning this place at least purple.

            we’ve gone blue in Bexar, Dallas, El Paso and the RGV. Travis has always been blue. it wouldn’t hurt for Tarrant to get bluer. so the maps are the big hang up.

            you should also support Congresscritter Beto O’Rourke for US Senate because even if he only gets close, it’s progress and the GOP may oust Cruz in the primary so we’ll see how much we can get. besides, Beto looks great in blue…well, any color really.

            http://thehill.com/50-most-beautiful-2013/images/orourke.png

          • HazooToo

            Deal! I’m setting some money aside already to donate to opponents of backstabbing Dinos, and actually supporting someone worthy would feel way better.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m still trying to figure out why we didn’t shit can Lucio Jr. for his son last cycle. now we have to wait until 2020 to get rid of him.

          • HazooToo

            One day, Panika. Hopefully sooner, rather than later.

          • Panika MCD

            I may die the next time he goes on another 15 minute “Carpe diem….this is really important…you know I have a brother who lives in MN….which reminds me of Jesus…and this is really important… CARPE JESUS…” ramble. soon is not soon enough.

      • HazooToo

        YOU don’t have to. I’ll do it for you.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I don’t know your friends, nor your relationship with them. Personally, I would still be pissed off at them. They let perfect become the enemy of good. They sacrificed other people’s lives to feel better about themselves. IMHO, fuck that.

        • Shanzgood

          What about themselves, though? That’s the thing. I can’t get past WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            If people wish to sacrifice themselves on some sort of bonfire of purity, that’s their call. I’ll roll my eyes dramatically, but whatever…

            When people sacrifice others, well, that’s different. Your pure “friends” don’t give a shit about other people. Fuck ’em. With votes.

          • Panika MCD

            ask them. better to have the “what were you thinking?!” out there than to have it growing in your head. this is why you’re not supposed to swallow watermelon seeds, too.

          • snark-lurker

            imho i donut think you should let others decide who your friends should be, who you should forgive, who you should shun. but thatz just me i not good at letting old grudges go

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Fuck yeah. If you don’t wanna, I’m pissed off enough for both of us.

  • Count Awesome

    When does the “gay Trump clown” meme start that’s similar to the “gay Putin clown” one?

      • Shanzgood

        Not very gay.

        • Count Awesome

          Agreed, more “hobo clown” than “homo clown”.

        • I didn’t do the arts this time, just did Trump Clown on the google search.
          Will refine

          • Shanzgood

            Not that I’m the best judge. I’m bad at spotting gayness unless they’re actually macking on each other right in front of me.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            No Gaydar? XD Mine is fine-tuned, with a Garuda on the console.

          • Shanzgood

            Nope, zero gaydar. Not even for hairdressers. A male one I thought was gay WASN’T and my current female one I would say was straight but she’s self-described “lesbian as fuck” and married to a woman. I give up.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            LOL. The only “mistake” I might have made was, the day before my move I was in line at my friend’s store, and this cute college-age girl complimented my hat, and then i complimented her hair. She was kinda down about the color she did, but I pointed out she had a cool color-gradient thing going on. After I said that she looked me in the eyes and it was “click”- chemistry – but I’d have bet she was straight.

          • Sister the Resister

            We’re tricky now that more of us are out.

          • theCryptofishist

            Do you have a reading on me?

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            It’s more difficult online. I mostly can tell by body language and such.

          • theCryptofishist

            That’s okay. I”m sitting here wondering how insecure one has to be to ask a question like that on line, anyway. Very weird.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            No worries Hun. :)

          • theCryptofishist

            Ta.

  • Panika MCD

    GOOD GOVERNMENT IN ACTION
    to make us feel good for a sec

    that disastrous TX Sen IGR hearing where, after I informed you guys of all the weird stuff, Sen. Bettencourt got to yell at some local elected officials and the San Antonio Hispanic Chamber of Commerce about how, “you know what?! that 10 yr old–the youngest Texan–was right! the Gettysburg Address was totally about how San Antonio can’t annex your private island!” because, you know, life starts at 10 and we’ll just assume he already made everyone deaf with his Foghorn Leghorn impression.

    in any case, yesterday I got to watch the adults play with being good at government in TX Sen. State Affairs and it was really good.

    it appears that in TX if you break into someone’s car because you see that their dog is locked in there and about to die, you can be sued for damages to said car–even if you’re a LEO. so Sen. Uresti (D – most of the border) filed a bill that would waive liability in such circumstances. which will pass because if it’s one thing we can all agree on it’s “DOGS ARE AWESOME AND SHOULD NOT DIE IN HOT CARS!”

    but then Sen. Nelson had a thought–do we waive liability if it is a babby? turns out we don’t! Sen. Huffman is all, “better make sure that Granny can’t die in a hot car because someone can’t afford to get sued either!” and then they thought to be nice and ask the animal people what they thought which was, “yes! no one should die in a hot car whether they are on four legs good or two legs better!”

    and since they didn’t have quorum anyhow, they will submit a substitute on Monday before they vote it onto the Local and Uncontested Calendar because this does not need a floor debate, it just needs to be law.

    yay for good government!

    • HazooToo

      The part that struck me is how they had to ASK the animal people.

      • Panika MCD

        they didn’t have to ask. they just thought it’d be nice to see whether they thought they should suspend the rules to file an extra bill and give them both special names.

        • HazooToo

          That makes it better. I hate how my illusion of Government being at least passably intelligent has been shattered, I have no trust left.

          • Panika MCD

            just remember that there are far too many elected positions in this country for them all to be filled by raging assholes. otherwise we would not have anything to fill the airwaves with!

  • “Bless our hearts…. and other parts” so much snorts of laughing

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      It’s an old Southern saying between cousins and now apparently mistresses.

  • FDRliberal

    So to recap – Russia turns off it’s air defenses prior to the attack, the Syrians get a head’s up to run before the attack, the attack places a few pointless potholes here and there and the Syrians are using the air strip the next day…but it’s all good, because beltway nitwit Fareed Zakaria said Trump became “president of the United States” today.

    https://twitter.com/BBCWillVernon/status/850290198470676480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.balloon-juice.com%2F

    • Count Awesome

      It’s like war with training wheels. Or at least a video game tutorial.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Here’s the thing I don’t understand – why isn’t the US Government and NATO and the UN screaming fucking screaming at Putin to put a stop to cut off ASShad’s hands and tongue?…

      • Edith Prickly

        I think the US would need a functional State Department to pull that off…?

        • Sister the Resister

          “I went to Jared!”

    • snark-lurker

      well that was easy

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Also too, the Kremlin does not want the US to test the effectiveness of the Russian anti-missile systems. They shut it down so that the US could not gather that intelligence by seeing how effective it is dealing with the Tomahawk attack. The value of that intelligence is greater than the value of the damage to the airfield.

  • HazooToo

    Pictures and other pictures to compare them to. https://twitter.com/ArmsControlWonk/status/850467494284230656

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • MynameisBlarney

      She kicks so much ass.

    • Shanzgood

      I want to adopt her as my other mom.

      • snark-lurker

        out of Zambia via S Africa, Etheopia, Frankfort, Chicago, Cedar Rapids, hug for daddy & 1st thing she said: “You smell good.” honest!

        • Shanzgood

          Oh your baby is home?!?!

          • snark-lurker

            scary rides all behind her now

          • Shanzgood

            So good! Tell her I said it’s ok to sniff people.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      Maxine Waters is fer shure the HBIC.

      • snark-lurker

        Hotest Bitch In Congress (it’s all i got)

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

          Head Bitch in Charge. :)

          • snark-lurker

            that is better, i guess, depending on context?

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Yeah, it means you don’t fuck with the HBIC.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi
    • jesterpunk
      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        Anna Likey! :D

        • jesterpunk

          That is about as coordinated I am when it comes to dancing.

          OT Cant wait for the new season of Doctor Who (and the premier of Class) next Saturday though.

          • Woohoo! Crusty Scots Doctor!

          • jesterpunk
          • Shanzgood

            Oh, yeah…,

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            I’m still catching up with new Who. I adored Eccleston, about to start the next guy.

            And I could teach you to dance.

          • jesterpunk

            David Tennant (10th Doctor) is a good Doctor. Plus you get to see him do this

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zvNu3qgjno

            Actually all of them are good just have to give them a little time to get into the character.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Nice. I grew up with Tom Baker, and since I got back into “Who”, I’ve seen some of the 2nd, 3rd, and 6th Doctors too.

          • Shanzgood

            Didja see the Paul McGann one?

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            No, not yet. Baker, McCoy, Pertwee, and Troughton, of the older Doctors. And just Eccleston as of yet, but Prime has all the modern Who, so I’ll see them.

          • Shanzgood

            Don’t forget Peter Davison!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            I need to see him, I loved him on “All Creatures Great & Small”.

          • jesterpunk

            If you grew up with the older Doctors you would love the 50th anniversary special “The Day of the Doctor”. All 12 Doctors are in it and Tom Baker is in in 2 different roles (spoilers).

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Sweet!

          • I have that on blu-ray. Maybe due for a rewatch this weekend

          • jesterpunk

            Get the 3 specials if you can, name, day and time of the doctor.

            Name of the Doctor is the final episode of season 7, Day is the 50th anniversary and time of the doctor is the Christmas Special. They kind of go together as much as anything in Doctor Who goes together.

          • Shanzgood

            I can’t hear 45 referred to as “cocksplat” enough times.

    • theCryptofishist

      Stupid things pop into my head: Do you think Britney Spears and Shawn McGowan will ever do a duet? OF course, he’s old enough to be her father, so it might be kinda gross.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

        The Pogues guy? That would be interesting….

        • theCryptofishist

          I love the Pogues…

  • Edith Prickly

    More Pareene: (I knew all this, but the way he lays it all out is very helpful – and scary)

    http://fusion.net/the-long-lucrative-right-wing-grift-is-blowing-up-in-t-1793944216

    • Alt-dog

      Read that the other day. Excellent article!

  • Picabo
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      Thanx Picabo. This is a great song. :)

  • Count Awesome

    Trump should have bombed the Syrian airbase with dildos, vibrators, and buttplugs​. That might have slowed the Syrian Air Force for more than a day.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • WomanInThePersistence

      I really like him. And am proud to have him represent my state.

  • Longstreet63

    I’m guessing this is the open thread…
    First, just watched a beautiful HD transfer of “Them!” from 1954. Gorgeous. It’s surprising how good that film is, considering it’s about giant ants. (also Leonard Nimoy’s first film or so. Uncredited. I can’t spot him.

    Second, I do not have a bunny. But were I to get one, I’m giving thought to a good name.
    Napoleon Bunnypart is too obvious.
    Perhaps, Marcus Aurelius?
    Maybe Caligua? That’d be a good bunny name.
    Or Peisistratos, Tyrant of Athens? I could call him Perry for short…

    This is how I spend Friday nights…

    • Count Awesome

      Go with “Rabbert Klein”.

      • Longstreet63

        How about Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel?

    • Stew.

      Too soon?

      • Longstreet63

        My conceit is that were Karmic Reincarnation a thing, powerful, pompous people of long ago might have progressed back to the bunny stage.
        So, that’d be cool if his full name was Charles Stuart II, King of England, Scotland, and Ireland.

        • Truth be told, I adopted a bunny who came with the name “Stew,” and I never got the reference until years after he had passed away and his former owner told me. 🐰 Yes, I’m naive.

          • Longstreet63

            Well, Charles I did lose his head…

    • Duke

      You can find a warm, furry companion on Craigslist

      • Longstreet63

        I have one of those. I’m thinking of a rabbit, perhaps named after a Victorian warship designer.
        It’s complicated.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Perry the Platypus objects to the use of his name by a mere bunny…

      • Longstreet63

        How about Vice Admiral Sir George Tryon?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I suppose Lucky has too many bad connotations…

          • Longstreet63

            It would have for Sir George, certainly.

    • ahughes798

      I’d name him “Tim.”

      • Longstreet63

        Timotheus, Strategos of Athens? Sure!

        • ahughes798

          That’s very fancy!

    • snark-lurker

      Them! Where do i find it?

      • Longstreet63

        This was on TCM back in March, but I also own it on DVD, and doubtless it’s available on various digital services.

    • Shanzgood

      Call it Hoss. Short for Hasenpfeffer.

      • Longstreet63

        I suppose, if it was actually short for Hosokawa Tadaoki. I could get him a little samurai sword.

      • Stulexington

        A friend of mine actually got his landlady to name her pet rabbit Hassenpfeffer.

        • Shanzgood

          One day, baconzgood should explain why he got banned from his local Humane Society.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

      Murat, after the famously fashionable Marshal of Cavalry.

      • Longstreet63

        Now that’s a good one, I admit!
        Although the bastard deserted Napoleon.
        Cambronne, on the other hand, would make a good bunny, although he never made Marshal.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

          Yeah, he’s a good choice too. If I had a cat that was tough, I’d name them “Cuirassier”. You could name a bunny “Hussar”.

          • Longstreet63

            Sure, but I’ve always like “Carabineer” better.
            Or Chasseur of the Guard, of course.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Carabineer would be cool “Ka-ra-bin yay” :)

            How about Lanciers de Polannaise de la Guarde? They wore Pink!

          • Longstreet63

            Well, the Polish WInged Hussars had the best uniforms, really.

            I had a kitten once. The only pet I ever really felt was mine alone. He was a lovely grey thing, and he used to sneak up and climb my back and sleep in my hoodie. I named him Lt. General Thomas Jackson. Like his namesake, he died young.
            If there were an other side, I’d expect to find that fellow waiting for me, but I wouldn’t see him first, because he always goes for the flank.
            I’m not sure I ever told anyone about him before.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            Awws. He was lucky to be loved. :) My first cat was a little American shorthair I named Maddie. We took her because she was going to be put down, she was the runt kitten. I loved her so much, and she loved me. She disappeared while I was in a mental hospital. I’m guessing Dad took care of that too.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Sad.

          • Longstreet63

            Condolences. Perhaps she’s maneuvering with Stonewall on the Feline Elysian Fields.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi

            I hope so. Cats deserve Paradise more than humans do. :) Maddie wasn’t a smart kitty, but she was sweet and loyal. :)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • theCryptofishist

      Oh boy, is he writing those names over and over and dotting the Is with hearts and flowers?

    • jesterpunk

      Umm normally doesnt the president way until their second term or at least the midterm to replace staff? Trump has had more shake ups in 11 weeks then most presidents have in 8 years.

      • Panika MCD

        with Flynn, he didn’t even wait a month.

      • data_ninja

        You said “normally”. That word doesn’t apply to anything anymore, at least in the present.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          This entire fucked up situation is far from normal.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • boyblue123

      John Barron is “person close to the White House”

    • HazooToo

      “What about this guy? He’s new! Says his name is Sketchy McTraitorson, and he looks like Rachel Maddow but with an evil mustache, and his resume says he ‘Absolutely is not a leaking member of the Enemy Press’, that’s gotta be good, right? Let’s put him in charge of paying Putin directly.”

    • Panika MCD

      he’s trying out names with his friends? are they getting a new puppy or playing a drinking game?

  • FDRliberal

    Let’s never forget this fucking scumbag below stole a Supreme Court seat from We the People, the majority. This is his reaction following his successful heist. And ALL the Republicans, including John McCain with his phony “concern”, helped him 100%. My fury, my anger at this injustice will never die and go away.

    #Resist

    http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_720_noupscale/58e682ad1500002100c7e572.jpeg

    • Duke

      Two words:

      Mid terms

    • Sister Suffragette

      Ugh, he’s even more vile when he’s smiling.

    • TJ Barke

      MUST… RESIST… URGE… TO STRANGLE…

      • Sister the Resister

        Nah, we’ll give you a pass on this one, and perhaps a ticket to DC

    • Hutch

      Well, he did win. Can we Dems figure out a way to win? I mean, we do have to be competitive. We can cheat, too? Or flim-flim everyone? Lose our souls? Sure.

      I say, wither and die bibilicaly (mit votes), Mr. Turtle.

      • DT

        No, we can’t win when people are concerned with who’s nice. If everyone accepts the GOP’s right to walk away and let everything rot unless they get their way, it’s literally impossible for Democrats to win.

        • HazooToo

          More improbable, up to a point. There will come a time when they go too far, and the balance tips overwhelmingly in our favor. At that point, it is Dems FUCKING DUTY TO THEIR COUNTRY TO FINISH THEM OFF BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Get mean, get vicious, rip them out by the roots, expose them, and replace them. It’s far past time that the Republican party was consigned to the shame heap of history, and I don’t give a flying fuck who fills the vacuum as long as they understand that they represent ALL of us, not just the party that helped them get elected. But until we get to that tipping point, we can probably expect things to get a hell of a lot worse and more cheaty.

          • theCryptofishist

            It really bothers me that powerful committee chairs can have huge influence on issues that effect us, but are only responsible to the voters in their district, and, of course, their doners. I don’t think that’s right. i don’t have an answer, but it seems to me that if you take something like that on, you have an obligation to more than just those.

          • HazooToo

            Absolutely. I’m starting to think we should pick our community leaders from among the people who want the job the least.

          • theCryptofishist

            That’s no good either. Governance is a real thing–not just power hunger. Yeah, power hunger is a real danger, but we want people in government who want to be good government. Who want to help people and tackle the tough problems. We do have to find ways to separate those from the chaff of idiots who just want to waste people’s time and money and heart, but I don’t know how much better some random guy off hte street could do than DT…
            Anyway, that’s something I’ve come to be convinced of this past year.

          • HazooToo

            That’s it, then. That’s the super power I want. I want to be able to read someone’s mind at will.

          • theCryptofishist

            Always a good choice.

    • Shoto

      May I please snap his thumb like a twig? Maybe that’ll wipe that creepy grin off his face for a few minutes.

    • theCryptofishist

      Can we have an asterisk next to Gore-Suck’s name and every case when he provided the vote to the right?

      • FDRliberal

        I will never call Trump ‘president’ and likewise will never call Gorsuch “justice”. Both are illegitimate.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      That is the single most punchable face I have ever seen.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Roit!
    Ye scurvy polliwogs!

    G’noit!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi