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sharpest knife in the drawer

The “drip drip drip” of the Trump Russia scandal is becoming more of a “splish splash I am taking a bath!” these days, as story after story comes out about heretofore unknown and weird connections between Donald Trump’s inner circle and Russia. Our latest entry is about that Carter Page goofball, the one brought on by the Trump campaign as a foreign policy adviser last year for reasons nobody really understands. He appears in the Steele dossier as the guy who maybe helped negotiate the transfer of a 19% stake in Russian oil bid-ness company Rosneft to SHHHH IT’S A SECRET, in exchange for lifting sanctions put on Russia over its annexation of Crimea.

And now, from a report in Buzzfeed, we learn that, in 2013, Russian spies working in the U.S. tried to recruit Page. Buzzfeed also reports that these spies thought Page was A IDIOT:

A court filing by the US government contains a transcript of a recorded conversation in which [Russian spy Victor] Podobnyy speaks with one of the other men busted in the spy ring, Igor Sporyshev, about trying to recruit someone identified as “Male-1.” BuzzFeed News has confirmed that “Male-1” is Page. […]

The court filing includes a colorful transcript of Podobnyy speaking with Sporyshev about trying to recruit Page.

“[Male-1] wrote that he is sorry, he went to Moscow and forgot to check his inbox, but he wants to meet when he gets back. I think he is an idiot and forgot who I am. … He got hooked on Gazprom thinking that if they have a project, he could rise up,” Podobnyy said. “I also promised him a lot … This is intelligence method to cheat, how else to work with foreigners? You promise a favor for a favor. You get the documents from him and tell him to go fuck himself.”

DUMB STUPID GUY DOESN’T EVEN RESPOND TO EMAILS! So, Buzzfeed reports that they were able to verify that Page was “Male-1,” because they called him on the phone and said, “Are you Male-1?” Apparently he replied, “Yes, that is my stage name, because I am very famous!” You’ll remember that Page is one of the ones jumping up and down to testify for the Senate Intelligence Committee, probably because whatever wrongdoing he’s guilty of, he wants to make sure he gets to go to the fun jail, the one where the cafeteria has brownies with sprinkles on them and bedtime isn’t until midnight.

Page’s other contacts with Buzzfeed before saying “Yeah bro, that is me” are fairly entertaining:

Speaking with BuzzFeed News, Page suggested that the complaint was written so that it was obvious he was the Gazprom-connected man Podobnyy talked about recruiting.

“In this city? Give me a break,” he said. “It is so obvious.”

Yes, prosecutors in 2015 were definitely trying to out the VERY FAMOUS Carter Page!

In a previous conversation, when asked if he had ever met with Russian intelligence operatives, Page told BuzzFeed News in a message on the Telegram messaging app: “I’M VERY CAREFUL WHEN I SAY ‘NEVER’ BUT EVEN IF I HAD INADVERTENTLY HAD ‘CONTACT’ SUCH AS BRIEFLY SAYING HELLO TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT FALL UNDER THAT LABEL IN PASSING NOTHING I EVER SAID TO THEM OR ANYONE ELSE WOULD’VE EVER BROKEN ANY LAW.”

Who among us hasn’t made friends with a Russian spy and given them documents on the energy industry in 2013? This reminds us of the completely bonkers interview Page did with MSNBC’s Chris Hayes, on how he could not recall whether he recalled ever meeting with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak, who is just the sweetest guy, not that Page would know, but if he was in a position to recall such things, he might say Kislyak is a total mensch. Allegedly.

If you want all the fun details and the court filing against these three Russian spies (one of whom got out of jail just this past weekend, coincidentally, soon after his former bosses met with Trump’s favorite president, Jared Kushner!), replete with their fun conversations with “Male-1,” head on over to Buzzfeed. It’s important to remember, with this specific story, that this all happened long before Page became associated with Donald Trump. (He eventually came to Trump through Rick Dearborn, then Senator Jeff Sessions’s chief of staff, or maybe Sam Clovis? Or maybe someone else entirely, NOBODY CAN TELL, because this is just one of life’s mysteries, SHRUG!)

Or if you’d like, you could watch this video from Monday’s episode of “Rachel Maddow Yells At Russia,” which is very good!

Also, if you missed it the first time, remember that Carter Page is ALSO the guy who sent a crazy-pants letter to the Justice Department crying that Hillary Clinton was doing civil rights violations and election fraud to him, because the mean press was writing articles about his weird ties with Russia. He’s a stable guy, that Carter Page.

We’ll close with a SICK BURN from “A US intelligence official,” from Buzzfeed’s report on Page’s DOY DOY DOY meetings with the Russian spies:

A US intelligence official said that investigators intend to question Page eventually, but that he was not considered a high priority. “There’s so many people that are more relevant,” the official said.

LOLOLOLOL! Carter Page is a silly boy!

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[Buzzfeed]

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