SHARE

This infographic from Business Insider is nearly as good as that one where McDonald’s advised its employees to take vacations for stress.

Like this fun calculation where there are no state, payroll, county, city or municipality taxes

But they’re giving us a handy set of tips! Let’s all learn something today, kids!

First off, live in a cheap city. Not one of those non-cheap ones. (We assume you must live in a city though.)

Next, find a unicorn and ask it to lead you to the plentiful housing that’s not in slum condition for under $600 a month.

Once you’ve moved to a place without decent public transport, you’ll want to bike to work. Employers love when you show up soaked in sweat!

A good tip is to cancel your bespoke grocery boxes and your premium entertainment subscriptions. Stop buying Balenciaga bags, too. Savings!

Elon Musk once ate a lot of ramen, so try becoming a vegetarian! But don’t buy too many vegetables. Ramen is all the nutrition you need!

Buy a high-deductible health plan! We are giving out sound financial advice around here! Preventative, prescription, vision, dental: frills.

That Balenciaga joke? Not a joke, turns out! You’ll have to give up being one of those famous high-fashion poor people. It’ll hurt, we know.

Take your ramen to a park! Talk to your friends! Literally take a hike, people! Learn what really counts: mindfulness and gratitude.

Once you spend all your time eating ramen in parks you’ll be able to pay off your many lines of unsecured credit! Get a Vanguard fund.

Invest in yourself by selling your furniture on Craigslist and driving your bike for Uber! You’ll be in a park anyway, who needs a bed?

And finally, kids, always remember: the problem isn’t stagnant wages and rising costs. It’s that you’re just not trying hard enough.

[BusinessInsider]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MynameisBlarney

    They said there would be no maths!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    “It was the Best of times, it was the Worst of times…”

  • memzilla Ω
  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

    There is some serious need for grundle punches with that editorial crew.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Sharp, pointy, curare tipped votes.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Dear Business Insider: You left out the most important factor in building wealth in this country: choose your parents well.

    • dansezlajavanaise

      other tip: don’t be poor.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Taxes are not just income taxes. They include sales taxes, fees on things such as telephone service, and the portion of rent that pays your landlord’s property taxes.

    ETA: Also FICA and Medicare.

    • willi0000000

      and excise taxes . . . i pay $75/yr for the privilege of owning a 20-year-old Volvo . . . there’s also excise tax on tires*.

      but why should i worry about all that, i am supposed to sell my car . . . i guess i’ll just take a cheap taxi to the store (about 9 miles) . . . or just walk there dragging my oxy tank**!

      * strange, but i have to pay sales tax on the excise tax part of my tire purchase . . . tax on a tax . . . now that’s just tightening the screws a bit too tight!

      ** point-of-no-return for a standard walkaround oxy tank is less than one mile.

  • ManchuCandidate

    11. Don’t Get Sick
    12. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! APRIL FOOLS ASSHOLES!*

    Motherfuckers.

    *worst fucking April Fools prank ever (byline 04/01/17.)

  • Claire

    So, wait. If you’re only eating vegetables in season, and you’re only eating meat 1-2 times a week, what are you eating during the winter? Macaroni and cheese? Rice-a-roni? Ramen? I hope that high-deductible plan covers cardiac events and malnutrition.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Personally, 2 nights a week of spaghetti with canned mushrooms, 2 nights macaroni and beans.

    • Zonath

      Questioned about the risk of people developing scurvy, the Business Insider editorial board said that poor people could “go suck a lemon”.

      • willi0000000

        it’s easier to find slightly used limes in the dumpster behind any bar.

        • dansezlajavanaise

          besides, if you suck on enough of them, you might get drunk for free. ka-ching!!!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If you’re shopping for a place to live at less than $600 per month, I suggest looking near the dog food rendering plant.

      • tomamitai

        The article also suggests getting a place with utilities included at that price!

        • dansezlajavanaise

          good idea! why multiply expenses!

      • dansezlajavanaise

        where you could also take a second job.

    • Michael Smith

      I have a Modest Proposal that you might be interested in.

    • GoutMachine

      Yeah, but another problem: Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese is only in season in months that end it R.

  • Nightcrawler
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Stewart Varney: poster boy for being put up against walls.

      “Don’t you people know you’re supposed to be living in the dirt with no electricity?”

      • Nockular cavity

        There aren’t enough Revolution-era melodramas being filmed where he can be cast as a cartoonish Tory villain, so he has to work at Fox News.

    • Claire

      It’s testament to how old their viewership is. A lot of them rant and rave about poor people owning “flat-screened TVs,” and how long has it been since the last CRT TV rolled off the assembly lines? They still think that cell phones are rich people’s gadgets and microwaves are luxuries for affluent housewives.

    • Michael Smith

      Yeah, I saw a “libertarian” on Facebook the other day sharing a meme that said “If the poor people in your country are obese, they aren’t poor.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Libertarians” make me all slappy, shouty, and stabby.

    • schmannity

      99.6% with Refrigerators? Shocking, I know, but where else to keep all those government crab legs?

      • Nightcrawler

        I mean, I think a lot of apartments already come with refrigerators, so I don’t know why they think that’s so strange.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          I never lived in an apartment that didn’t have a refrigerator, so there is that. New microwaves can be had for about $70, used ones for less than half that.

          I guess there point is that if you own anything, you can’t be poor.

    • gamera23

      Shocked that .4% of homes in this country don’t have a refrigerator. That’s a lot.

      • schmannity

        What part of jerky and whiskey needs refrigeration?

        • Left Coast Tom

          I guess one should only drink red wine as white wine would require chilling.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    That doesn’t make sense if you have health problems (the diet they suggest could kill me three different ways), I like how they say “upgrade your job skills” when the materials are expensive, and who working minimum wage, on their feet all day, has the time or energy to bike to work or go hiking? Also, I cannot say this enough, but poor people deserve a good quality of life. They deserve a night out every other week and TV and a whole roasted chicken (if they want it), fresh food, and clothes they want. Screw you, “Business Insider”. Give me all your money until you only have the minimum wage and let’s see how you like it.

    • theCryptofishist

      And a real vacation every two/three years.
      Anyway, preach it.

  • Nockular cavity

    I shall assume that Gwyneth Paltrow wrote this.

    • Nightcrawler

      Sarandon

  • schmannity

    McDonalds advises not eating out. OK?

  • Anna Rompage

    $75 for a month’s worth of food?

    Seriously?

    So along with becoming fabulously wealthy in 10 years, you’ll also be extremely malnourished…

    • Vincent Ricola

      And without cable to watch when you’re slowly dying.

      • Anna Rompage

        Who needs TV? I hear hallucinations kick in after the 3rd week of starvation…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    * Sell plasma! Not only can you make some cash, many places will give you a free cookie, which cuts your food bill down even more!
    * Turn off the heat! Many post office lobbies are open 24/7 . . . consider sleeping there on particularly cold nights!
    * Take a tip from the Russians! If you mix your flour with sawdust, you can stretch it even farther!
    * Keep an eye out for pre-owned condoms! You’d be surprised how many you’ll be able to find in public bathrooms near your $600 a month apartment! You’re not going to want to risk pregnancy, and you won’t be able to get an abortion.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Eh. You know, all that advice, as simplistically presented as it is, is fairly sound – for those whose life situations allows them to follow those rules – i.e., can move to an unfashionable, small-to-medium-size city, can live close to work and so on.

    If the editors of Business Insider were strong, concrete proponents of a progressive economic agenda at the *same time* they offered pat little advice-bromides like this, that would be one thing. But somehow, I kind of doubt that’s the case.

    • Maclare

      Yeah, it’s more the tone of the piece. If it were presented as a list of tips, instead of a oversimplified life plan, I could see it being useful.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Only eat vegetables in season”
    “Consider only eating meat 1-2 times a week”

    There are not enough swears in the world for me to properly express what I think of these suggestions. May whoever came up with this insulting garbage be infected with incurable crotch lice.

    • gamera23

      Only eat 1-2 times a week!

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Try not to eat during winter = savings!”

    • Vel Venturi

      Perhaps next month Business Insider will follow up with a modest proposal…

  • memzilla Ω
  • Nightcrawler

    How do they have these traditionally red states as being the best places to get financially stable on minimum wage? Aren’t those the states that extol trickle down economics and have the lowest minimum wages?

    • willi0000000

      they get lots of federal money (taken from blue states) to pay out to homeless/foodless/etc. folks . . . this allows them to keep taxes low.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        they get lots of federal money (taken from blue states) to pay out to homeless/foodless/etc. which they don’t do, they use it to keep taxes low instead.

        IPYPFY

  • Crystalclear12

    As an accountant those “tips” make me feel stabby.

  • BearGHAZI

    Methinks I will continue to never read Business Insider again.

  • gamera23

    Picnic in the park? Hell no! Why not just LIVE in the park?!?!1

  • Lizzietish81

    There’s a reason those cities are cheap

    No services, no public transit, no economy.

    • Nightcrawler

      Ironically, those are the states and counties that overwhelmingly voted Trump despite the fact that they have to get basic medical care out of mobile clinics.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Hey, I wanted to get rich on minimum wage, so I moved to — Detroit!” Only one flaw in the plan.

      • ManchuCandidate

        No Robocop

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Don’t be such a pessimist! You’ll probably get shot and killed in Akron, then you’ll be totally financially free. In fact, you’ll be totally worry free. You won’t even care that you’re buried in a pauper’s grave, with no one to mourn you. I hate when you snowflakes have to put a negative spin on everything.

    • Claire

      And no tax base means no infrastructure, which means unattractive to large employers in high-paying industries.

    • Werewolf

      No jerbs.

    • I read a couple of years ago about a guy who had actually bought a house for $50 in Detroit and lived in it. The biggest issue (apart from no public services) was having to invest in a very big and growly dog to keep out scavengers, because the cops wouldn’t even come to that nigh-abandoned neighbourhood.

    • arensb

      It’s almost as if some force, some invisible hand, if you will, had adjusted things so that the more desirable cities were more expensive.

  • Michael Smith

    hahaha then it tells you to buy a specific brand of investment?

    That’s like in Clerks when you find out the self-righteous anti-smoking rabble-rouser is actually a gum salesman.

  • BearGHAZI

    Step 1 is already a fail. How do you move to a new city on nothing at all?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Small million dollar loan from your parents.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or you can cash in your wedding presents of stocks and bonds.

    • Nockular cavity

      Moving is free, silly (perky smile)!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The unthinking glibertarian solution to everything: just pick up and change cities on nothing at all.

    • Anna Rompage

      Wrap all your belongings in a bandana, put it on a stick, carry it over your shoulder, and hop a train…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        On the road again, I just can’t wait to get on the road again…

        • theCryptofishist

          The last dead possum I drove by was singing that.

    • Kakkeltje

      And you have to make sure you move close to your new job, that you probably do not yet have.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Hitch hike, silly! If you’re killed, at least you won’t have to worry about making it on $8 an hour anymore.

  • proudgrampa

    Why you young whippersnappers. When I was your age, we ate rocks and shoe leather–and we LIKED it!!!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Shoe leather? Luxury!

    • We ate sand.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        You ate what?

      • schmannity

        You had edible sand??? We had to pound it.

      • yyyaz

        Live on an island, eat the sand which is there.

      • memzilla Ω

        SAND??? LUXURY!!! We had to eat ground-up ballast rocks out of the railroad’s railbed. And we counted ourselves LUCKY if we got some diesel fuel drippings on ’em for flavor!

    • Maclare

      I lived in a shoebox by the side of the road!

      • gamera23

        So, you had a house. Nice.

        • Maclare

          It was a fixer upper.

          • gamera23

            Must be nice to have tools.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Did your dad slice you in two with a breadknife? No? Luxury!

        • Maclare

          Aye, but you try to tell kids today, they won’t believe you!

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Nope, nope, they won’t believe you.

      • Vel Venturi

        We lived in lake!

    • BearGHAZI

      Plenty of minerals in rocks!!

    • Kiri the Unicorn
  • tapp_my_wire,please

    But, consider the workhouses in NYC, LA and SF afford ocean views.

    • yyyaz

      Torturing the inmates is a feature.

  • whitroth

    Invest your money. All $3k of it. Yup. Great investments, like, say, hi-tech 18 years ago! Or, maybe Lehman Bros 9 years ago!

    And let your investment advisers make a profit before you get anything!

    But start out by moving away from your home, your family and your friends, and live somewhere you don’t know a damn person. After all, none of that matters, none of it’s worth money, and money is all that matters. Live in a cardboard box!

    Time for Mssr Guillotene’s humane invention.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      I had a small growing investment fund, and then the company wanted a $400 per year management fee. Considering that was my yearly earnings from it. I closed all my accounts with them.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Corporate America’s mindset (*GOP owners, so it’s obviously theirs as well): “If the average Chinese worker can live on $5 a day, the American worker can also/too!”

  • anwisok

    I particularly like the part where they indicate that you’ll be “financially independent” when you have $270,903.88 saved up.

    • yyyaz

      Three years in a half-decent nursing home.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Too bad you’ve had that devastating illness, and your insurance sucks, and your cancer treatments are $5000 a week. I hope you don’t mind declaring bankruptcy, and starting over!

      • willi0000000

        it’s OK . . . you’ll still have your student loan debt.

    • onamission5

      If my mom had followed this plan her entire life, her cancer treatment would have eaten that 270K savings in less than three months. Sorry, mom, should have been even more impossibly frugal!

  • gamera23

    Don’t waste money on expensive loaves of bread.

    Steal it!

    Total annual cost = $0

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’ll get your exercise on a daily basis running from Inspector Javert!

    • yyyaz

      Forgot the attribution to Jean Valjean.

  • memzilla Ω

    Also too, you could use all that free time to do the historical research that shows that if the minimum wage had kept pace with inflation and increased worker productivity, it would be $21.50 an hour right now. Then you could demand that publications that use cutesy graphics to wage-shame people have the incomes of everyone in their C Suites be confiscated so that THEY can go live on minimum wage.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/015f14cb0b928d5c0be88bf2069d8adef7ba8e4b5569f21f37d39e74a97c81a0.jpg

  • mackafritz

    How many people on minimum wage are going to read Business Insider for tips on how to get wealthy on minimum wage?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      That is their first mistake.

    • yyyaz

      I’d say those who voted for Herr Weaselpate, but …

    • WotsAllThisThen

      This article isn’t for them. It’s to make the oligarchs feel better about cutting the minimum wage.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        See you no good takers, You can live happy without our money! Now if you excuse me, I am going to up the overdraft protection fees.

      • tomamitai

        As if those sociopaths were capable of empathizing with the suffering of others.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      While you’re at the library, reading for free, you can certainly look up tips on how not to be poor in magazines.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Logic of Color

    But how ya sposed to, you now, “make some time”, when all you got it one thin dime?

    • yyyaz

      And that won’t even shine your bum boots.

  • Nightcrawler

    Finding a roommate as a college student is already hard enough in NY, I can’t imagine how difficult it would be in the Deep South.

    • SayItWithWookies

      It’s like being a single woman in Alaska: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

    • schmannity

      What are cousins for, besides sex?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    $90/month for groceries? I mean, the idea that someone working for the minimum wage can just pick up and move because they have a car and the money for first and last month’s rent and high-deductible insurance that doesn’t cover treatment for scurvy, but $90/month?

    • Nightcrawler

      That’s incredibly difficult to do. Most basic food supplies are almost $5-7 each as it is.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, the fact that they’re recommending 4/$1 ramen noodles with basically no nutritional value at all over the 20 lb bag of enriched rice you can get for $10 tells you all you really need to know about how they did their homework for this.

    • Claire

      Maybe they’re assuming your $600-a-month apartment will be down the street from a soup kitchen.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Now you’re thinking!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the author of this infographic spent $90 on dinner last night.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I spend that in a week, and I’m single. Imagine if you had a child or two?

      • yyyaz

        Reproduction is only for the rich.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I costed out that challenge Gwyneth Paltrow punked out on, and I could do it, but: I can afford to buy bulk, I have pots and a reliable stove, I have a working refrigerator, I have access to a decent supermarket, I’m not going to be socked with fees to cash my paycheck, and I was taught to cook by my peasant grandmother who survived two different depressions, one in Italy and one here, with children to feed. But also too, I’m not going to be wiped out if I lose my monthly bus ticket.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It sounds like you’ve grown soft on me! ;-)

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, OK, I also have a few months of calories stored on my physical person.

    • Lord Jim

      They’re full of shit. Also, don’t forget the security deposit along with that 1st and last months’ rents. And deposits on the utilities – in my shithole town you pay as down on the electric the highest bill ever charged to that address.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        If you don’t have credit, anyway. It’s really fucking expensive to be poor and not owe any money.

  • whitroth

    I propose that that the author, and BI editor, provide $100k, no-interest loans to every reader that is living on that income. 30 year loans.

  • Zonath

    If you kill and eat rich people, you can save on your food bill altogether!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Rich people are high in cholesterol and taste terrible. Oh wait, I see it now, “spices are your friend!”

      • schmannity

        I got a 55 gallon Crock Pot. 12 hours to tender!

      • LaSargenta

        Tarragon. You’ll need a lot of it.

      • calliecallie

        I take this advice with a grain of salt.

        • Lord Jim

          This thread is peppered with terrible puns.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Of course, you’re risking gout in the process.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    They forgot the most important first step. Start with modest loan from your parents, very small, maybe $14 million or so.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Then ask your dad for his Rolodex.

      Christ, people, this is so easy, why are you all still poor? You could go to college if you can find a class schedule that’s flexible with your two jobs and your child care demands.

  • Fartknocker

    OK, I’ll play along. After all of that healthy eating, boiling bones from all the wasted steaks I dug out of the dumpster at the Sizzler for added protein, yoga practice in the park, and all the time I’ll spend in the library using that free, fucking 1 hour of internet everyday downloading old US DOD sniper manuals, I’ll have enough money to purchase a nice, used sniper rifle because if you live in Amarillo, TX per the handy dandy guide, they have lots of gun shows. So Mr./Mrs. CEO, feeling lucky?

    Of course the rifle is made by Nerf and the projects are soft and spongy because I don’t won’t to hurt or harm anyone.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I think Mr/Mrs CEO is probably perfectly fine with your plan, as he/she would much rather live in Austin than Amarillo. And since you sold your car…

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    So I can drive for uber if I sell my car?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You’ll get a sidecar for your bike! Pay attention, dummy! This is why you’re never going to be rich. You just don’t listen!!!!

    • Jamoche

      Actually yeah, they have a rental program, modeled after the old “Company Store” economic trap:
      http://gizmodo.com/uber-launches-insane-pay-to-work-car-rental-program-1745695023

      In addition to the [$210/month] base payments, drivers will have to pay a $500 refundable deposit and a $40 sign-up fee. If they go over 2800 miles a month (90 miles a day) there’s also an additional $0.25 per mile fee tacked on.

      • GoutMachine

        You load sixteen tons, what do you get /
        Another day older and deeper in debt / Saint Peter don’t you call me
        ’cause I can’t go / I owe my soul to the company store…

  • ariel_gee_398

    These people who claim to be good at math ought to understand that most people on minimum wage salaries don’t have enough cash on hand to purchase things in bulk and take advantage of the savings. Or savings to afford moving to a new fucking city, even assuming they had the desire to.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      So you’re saying U-Haul requires a credit card and a deposit? Wait, you also have to have a car? Damn, this is already getting tricky.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Save money by selling all your worldly possessions! If your possessions are worthless, you can abandon them by the side of the road.

        • Jon Sussex

          Your van down by the river seems much more spacious now, doesn’t it?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I guess I can ride my bike to Akron Ohio. I hope it’s not winter when I move, since I don’t have snow tires.

          • willi0000000

            chains!

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      My wife and I both worked two full time jobs each for a year to save for an interstate move in the mid-90s when fuel/groceries/etc was reasonable. FWIW, that isn’t living, and the cost of living has far outsripped the labor market. We couldn’t do it today even if we wanted to do so.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Even transportation. If you have enough to buy a monthly pass, you pay about 70% of the full price of a ride. If you don’t, you pay full price. And if your employer doesn’t give you TransitChek as an option, you don’t get to pay for it pre-tax.

      • ariel_gee_398

        That is a far more interesting and useful article they could have written – how our public systems are designed to tax the poor.

        • tomamitai

          Or how the transportation infrastructure is designed to heard them into the shitty parts of the country.

    • Jamoche

      Also, without a car you can’t get those bulk items home.

  • Bill D. Burger

    This all makes me wonder how those 20-something home buyers on HGTV are able to purchase their 1st dream home: “He sharpens colored pencils and his wife works 1 day a month collecting butterflies. They are working with a budget of $1.8 million for their starter.”
    Secret drug dealers? Inheritance? Successful Russian ID thieves? ….

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The usual answer is “grandfather invented something.” I live in a town where all the college kids live in $2700 a month “luxury student housing” apartments and drive BMWs. I lived in an unfinished basement and drove a ten year old Chevy Impala in college, and I thought I was lucky. Of course my grandparents ate rocks and walked to school with bread bags on their feet.

      • writersbloc

        All my rich friends had rich parents. It’s pretty easy to save up when you literally spend your 20’s and early 30’s never paying tuition, rent, car payment, insurance, vacations, home down payment and now child care.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yeah, most of the rich people I know are NOT self made. I know some who are, and they tend to be the nice ones. I used to be pretty well off, but I got wiped out in 2008. My parents didn’t help me a lot, but they did give me $4000 bucks to buy my first $60,000 house with, so that was nice. Now my town is so expensive that your parents would have to give you $40,000 for you to buy that same house.

    • writersbloc

      Turned on AM radio for some unknown reason yesterday- tuned into some real estate call-in show. Host was saying all you had to do was save $1,000 a month for a year, buy a house, earn $500 a month renting that house. Now you’re saving $1,500 a month. in 9 months, buy another house, earn $500 more. Now you’re saving $2,000. Repeat. In 10 years you’ll be making MILLIONS! IT”S THAT EASY!!!!

      • tomamitai

        Don’t you have to make a bigger down payment on a property you’re not going to live in? Probably have to pay more for insurance as well. Plus you’ll have the tenants calling you every time the toilet clogs.

      • Vel Venturi

        Maintaining rental properties is a snap! There are never shitty tenants who trash the place, nothing ever breaks, and no natural disasters ever happen. Truly it is a paradise.

    • Vel Venturi

      They write dinosaur erotica to sell on Amazon.

  • Banxy

    Interesting that this article is originally from a site called “Visual Capitalist.” If you click on the “original article” link, you get sent to Visual Capitalist’s front page. In the “Most Popular” column, this article is #1 for today. Yet the hyperlink to it is dead. Did someone at VC realize how phenomenally ridiculous the piece was and kill it?

    • heather g-m

      I had it in my history from yesterday and now it redirects to a page called “…building-wealth-minimum-wage__trashed/” I think they may have noticed it wasn’t so popular – was the main feature story on the site yesterday

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Next, find a unicorn and ask it to lead you to the plentiful housing that’s not in slum condition for under $600 a month.”

    Look, I’m really sorry, but Leslie’s turned our spare room into library/meditation space.

    • mackafritz

      And is also within walking or biking distance of your job.

      • theCryptofishist

        Which is amazing that they have you find the apartment and then tell you it should be in biking distance of your job.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Ask your landlord to move your apartment across town.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        Your minimum wage job, which is unlikely to be in a central district and may require you to work at various branches, sometimes on different sides of town.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Most landlords demand the first and last unicorns in advance anyway.

    • Jon Sussex

      I wouldn’t need much space, I’m selling my furniture on “craiglist.”

  • Vincent Ricola

    How is it good for any economy to tell people not to spend money on essentials like food and transport? This seems like it might backfire on these “business insiders.”

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Rule #1 of poorsplaining:

      DO NOT INJECT REALITY INTO ECONOMICS!

    • randomhookup

      “Why did my job at the fast food place go belly up?”

      “Because none of the other fast food workers would eat out!”

    • Vel Venturi

      This is always my question. Who is going to buy all the stuff at Target and eat at the Outback Steakhouse and drink fraps at Starbucks and go see movies at the theater, et cetera, et cetera, if we’re all living in refrigerator boxes and eating dumpster ramen before riding bikes to play old board games in the park? If no one is buying goods and services, how can people be paid to provide them?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Oh, fuck me running. My washer spewed water all over the damn floor last week, and the week before that, two of the shelves on the refrigerator door fell off. If I replaced them both out of my “savings” according to the chart above, I’d have $ – 25 if ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE BAD HAPPENED TO ME ALL YEAR.

    • theCryptofishist

      Year’s just about over–already April. There’s no time for anything to happen to you. Just don’t go overboard on your War-on-Christmas spending and you’ll, be fine.

    • mackafritz

      You luxuries like a washer and a refrigerator?

    • cheetojeebus

      So you had stuff to put on those shelves in the fridge? Pshaaw!

    • GoutMachine

      Did you get an iPhone in the last six years? Then shame on you.

      • Shanzgood

        I ate at Red Lobster a few years ago.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I hope you got one of those apartments with all the utilities included.

    • BearGHAZI

      ….. I want to see you running before I commit

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Thank you for giving me a good laugh!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And in a related business story:

    American Jobs Are Headed to Mexico Once Again

    After Donald Trump’s election, the flow of manufacturers setting up shop south of the border dwindled to a trickle. Ford Motor Co. and Carrier Corp., caught in Trump’s Twitter crosshairs, scrapped plans to move jobs to Mexico in two very public examples of the slowdown.

    But now the pace is picking back up. Illinois Tool Works Inc. will close an auto-parts plant in Mazon, Illinois, this month and head to Ciudad Juarez. Triumph Group Inc. is reducing the Spokane, Washington, workforce that makes fiber-composite parts for Boeing Co. aircraft and moving production to Zacatecas and Baja California. TE Connectivity Ltd. is shuttering a pressure-sensor plant in Pennsauken, New Jersey, in favor of a facility in Hermosillo.

    While Trump hasn’t stopped pounding his America First bully pulpit, and the future of Nafta remains uncertain, “there’s cautious optimism and a hopeful attitude that cooler heads will prevail in Washington,” said Ross Baldwin, chief executive officer of Tacna Services Inc., which facilitates relocations.

    tl;dr: another day, another failure on Donald’s part to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Sounds like Trump needs to visit many more factories on a new bluster tour across the country.

    • randomhookup

      All those call centers that want cheap bilingual help with American accents are headed to Mexico to sign up the deportees!

  • whitroth

    I went to look at the website, and noted two things: first, this was reposted from a “magazine” called “Visual Capitalist”, and second, BI doesn’t seem to have a way to contact the editor.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I assume if we show up at the offices with torches and pitchforks they’ll get the idea.

      • whitroth

        Can we use the same kind of tumbrils that they did in the French Revolution?

        • ariel_gee_398

          Sounds like a job-creating infrastructure project.

    • heather g-m

      and the Visual Capitalist piece has been taken down… wonder why. When I went there yesterday it actually credits the original author on “Investment Zen” and it is still up (or at least as I post this it is) http://www.investmentzen.com/blog/how-to-build-wealth-on-minimum-wage/

  • anon_the_great

    Little known fact. Road kill can stretch that ramen budget. Not the gross maggoty stuff or the ones with brains splooched all over the pavement, but the ones who look like the little feller fell asleep on the shoulder of the highway. Don’t worry, it all tastes like chicken through your tears of horror and humiliation.

    • GoutMachine

      Also, Supperware products are ideal for storing leftovers to help stretch your food dollar, particularly in the upcoming monsoon season. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d3f85fd40c57f116192d7221e766444f77a1339ebecc790dac4b1cc5614a5dac.jpg

      • anon_the_great

        WTF is going on here? A Tupperware pyramid scheme gone horribly wrong?

        • Lizzietish81

          you’ve never seen Airplane?

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Surely you can’t be serious!

          • theCryptofishist

            Stop calling me Shirley.

          • tomamitai

            It’s “Airplane!”, not “Airplane?”.

    • Lizzietish81

      Actually maggots are high in protein.

      Also, a friend of mine out in IL hunts deer, does the butchering herself, one day when coming back from a book signing (she writes supernatural erotica) she saw a dead deer on the side of the road, pulled over and proceeded to try to stuff it into her car, all while wearing a skirt and heels.

      a statie came over like, are you ok ma’am and she’s like help me get this thing in the car!

      • anon_the_great

        You have a weird friend. Congratulations.

      • Shanzgood

        Also maggots are used medically for debriding wounds.

      • whitroth

        Watch that. Some states, including, I think, Texas, says that’s illegal, to pick up what you kill.

        • tomamitai

          I think you can, if you report it to the game commission. They like to keep stats on that stuff.

  • memzilla Ω

    The only one of only six dozen flaws in that plan is that since most of the minimum-wage jerbs use on-call scheduling, meaning you must be available to work your shift on as little as three hours notice, you will NEVER HAVE THE TIME to schedule any activity like going to community college to improve your jerb skills, let alone child care.

    • Shanzgood

      Some areas (cities?) are trying to change that scheduling bullshit.

      • GoutMachine

        JOB KILLERS!!!!!!111!!

    • randomhookup

      If you are tired and jumpy, you’ll never be an appropriate partner for all that young people sexin’ that happens…

      So, voila, no babees.

    • data_ninja

      Also too, if you have multiple jobs, they will eventually demand priority over the other, and a choice usually has to be made to sacrifice one to keep the other. Which then causes your income to drop.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Marie Antoinette soon stopped shaking her head after the Let them eat cake pronouncement.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The one useful bit of information I inferred from that article is that if I want to read Business Insider, I should go to the library and read their copy instead of giving its pigfucking lunkheaded shitty bastard editors one goddamn red cent.

    • jowgajen

      I feel kind of bad for the person who wrote this piece, tbh.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Probably an unpaid intern, working in NYC.

        • LaSargenta

          @killermartinis on Twitter

          Worth reading. Always.

  • ManchuCandidate

    More Honest Guide
    Tip Number 1. Become prostitute. Hand jobs. Blow jobs. It’s a job.
    Tip Number 2. Move up the ladder and become madam or pimp.
    Tip Number 3. Cancel subscription to Business Insider
    Tip Number 4. Invest in nothing Business Insider recommends. Better off saving your measley shekels and dumping it into Vanguard or other low cost ETFs
    Tip Number 5. Buy 30 days of food in advance. The botulism and mold will keep you thin and looking fabulous for Tip 1.
    Tip Number 6. Cardboard Boxes. Laminated is best.
    Tip Number 7. Don’t bother commuting. Working on street corner you sleep on is the best
    Tip Number 8. Switchblade. Cut a bitch when you have to.
    Tip Number 9-infinity-1. Cancel subscription to Business Insider

    Tip Number Infinity. When ex-Business Insider shows up at your street corner to sell body. See Tip Number 8.

  • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

    Uh, how am I supposed to become a driver for Uber if I’ve sold my car?

    • anon_the_great

      Steal one, you Taker.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      That is the mystery of our faith: Capitalism.

  • Lizzietish81

    also, not for nothing but I was able to build up a good amount of savings…living in New york city, so whatever.

  • Get a Netflix subscription for $9/month, and use it on your free internet that everyone has, right?

    • Anna Rompage

      Move next door to a bar that has free public wi-fi…

      • But never go there, ever. And make sure it’s biking distance to your minimum wage job!

        • Anna Rompage

          Work in the bar….

          Hell, why even get an apt, just live in the broom closet…

          • Undocumented Skwerl!

            No, you apparently can only make minimum wage. NO TIPS YOU TAKER!

    • whitroth

      Be real! What right do you have to be entertained? Radio and broadcast tv are just fine. Don’t buy books, you can borrow them from the library, oh, sorry, we’ve just cut the budget for them….

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nightcrawler

    Business advice: *is out of touch with reality, ignores different situations and not realistic at all*

    Business magazine editor: Brilliant gentlemen! To the presses! Now fetch me another glass of merlot, maid!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Assuming a 4% inflation-adjusted return

    Let’s ask an expert how realistic that is:

    Personally, I use a 2% compounded and inflation-adjusted return assumption in my own planning spreadsheet, and I realize that this might even be a bit high.

    In other words:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e4d5dc3776ec93adcd54d0808c4b729059d8068c7d1e0e6f18f28a2633a10f7.gif

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    It seems to me that dealing drugs in the “high-cost cities” is a better plan.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Especially the coke and LSD required to write and approve for publishing drivel like this.

    • Jamoche

      I don’t know – there was an article about a meth house found in one of the Silicon Valley suburbs. They were making $1K/month. Even if the rest of the neighborhood had been so bad that a meth house didn’t stand out (it wasn’t) you could have rented out the house for at least $3K/month.

      (Now, having not seen Breaking Bad, maybe they were just bad at selling meth.)

    • whitroth

      But if you go into mugging – which could be a moving job field, I’d recommend *not* doing it in the less-expensive neighborhoods. I mean, you gots to go where the money is….

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Sir Terry made an observation about very expensive boots vs cheap boots and those who purchase them, and how they fare with their boot purchases. These dipshits need to read some Sir Terry and be exposed to reality.

    • Claire

      He wasn’t wrong, either. Being poor costs a shitload of money.

  • jesterpunk

    Are they trying to make Ivanka’s “how to survive as an unpaid intern” article look good?

    http://www.thewrap.com/ivanka-trump-unpaid-intern-tips/

    • Bill D. Burger

      Starving person: “Oh Ivanka! I haven’t eaten in 5 days.”

      Ivanka: “Wow! I DO admire your willpower.”

  • Anna Rompage

    For $2.50 a day in food costs, you’ll be able to brag about how you’ve eaten like an Ethiopian peasant during the last famine there, and will look super cool and hip to your friends…

  • Maclare

    When did Business Insider start writing BuzzFeed articles?

  • boyblue122

    Business insider suggests going to community college with the money left over while earning $7.50 an hour. What crackpipe are they smoking.

    • Jamoche

      In the spare time you have after working two jobs because neither one wants a full-time fully-insured employee.

    • Teecha

      Do these sorts of things even exist any more in the USA? When I was a kid in the 80s, everyone’s parents seemed to do a class at night school every year or so as a hobby. My dad did wood turning and upholstery one year. But adult education courses simply no longer exist in the UK. They used to be subsidised by the local council. Cuts cuts cuts. Fuck people trying to better themselves.

      • GoutMachine

        Not sure. They’ve probably all been sold to the University of Phoenix.

      • Claire

        They do, but they can be pricey. They seem to be aimed more at the bored elderly than at people actually looking for a new career.

        • Teecha

          We weren’t at all rich when I was a kid, but not poor either. But there was a few quid available for both my parents to do their own adult ed course.

          I tried bricklaying when the college came into school to deliver taster sessions- I really enjoyed it and I want a small wall in my garden. A weekend course for over 25s was £2000! Fuck! Who can afford that?

    • yyyaz

      Koch ass-crack.

  • Yr. Gma

    Jesus Fucking Christ. These people are serious aren’t they?

    • Crystalclear12

      Let them eat day old cake.

      • yyyaz

        From their comfy dumpster abodes.

        • tomamitai

          Better still, they could eat that cake while taking a ride in a tumbril [with votes].

  • cheetojeebus

    When it’s raining put a plastic laundry bag over your head and all your troubles will be over.

    • whitroth

      I want to put a plastic bag over the head of the author.

      And tie it.

    • And don’t forget the bread bags to protect your thrift store shoes!

  • Adam Field

    I would like to point out, for the record, that while it was terribly worded, it’s clear by the vegetable thing, that they mean, when you’re buying vegetables, but the ones that are in season at the moment, not the ones that aren’t – which *is* good advice.

    Plenty of dumb advice, though, and I did especially love the irony of telling people to sell their car, and then drive the car that they just sold for Uber. But the vegetable one isn’t one of those, just badly worded.

    • Jamoche

      Better phrasing would be “buy the cheap ones” – when the same veggies are in the stores year round, how are you supposed to know what their seasons are?

      Loved the Uber one too, given how often you hear about Uber drivers who are operating at a loss.

      • Teecha

        Cheap ones aren’t so cheap. When I first left home, you could buy potatoes washed or muddy. Muddy were much cheaper. They don’t exist anymore. All potatoes are washed in my local supermarkets.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I have only used uber a couple of times. In all cases, the uber driver’s car was much, much newer than mine and bigger too. I can believe that you can lose money as an uber driver.

        But …

        An enterprising uber driver told me that he was collecting names and addresses of his clients and when he had a list long enough, he would market his services as a personal, on call chauffeur. That seems like a plan.

    • Claire

      Not many vegetables are in season in the winter, and a lot of people on minimum wage live in food deserts. Not saying you’re wrong, but like all the other advice in there, it becomes much more applicable at a higher economic stratum than the one their advice is aimed at.

    • whitroth

      I couldn’t bear the entire piece… but I’ll bet it didn’t* say shop for vegetables at Hispanic, Korean, and other places, where they’re half or a third the price they are in stupormarkets.

    • Shanzgood

      Lolz I could sell my car but I’d still have to make payments on it.

    • Thiazin Red

      Or just buy frozen vegetables. They’re just as healthy and usually way cheaper.

      • Teecha

        If you have a freezer to store them in…

        I do get your point. I mainly buy frozen veg coz otherwise they spoil before I can eat them.

  • cheetojeebus
  • anon_the_great

    OT but what the heck is Business Insider? Did Google buy it ‘cose all of the sudden, like in the last month, it’s all over my google news feed.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Even assuming this weren’t totally fucking ridiculous, how will all the venture capital douchebros and Wall Street leeches feel if everyone making minimum wage up and fled NYC and San Francisco, because they, and “foreign investors” of course, had to buy up all the real estate and make housing unaffordable? Who will clean your house, cook your food, provide home health care to your mom or needs-intensive child? Cities need a diversity of income and skill levels to function.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      People in Vail have this sort of problem. The people who actually do work there can’t afford to live there.

      • yyyaz

        As in every Third World country.

  • lucidamente

    What about joining a cult?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Or founding a cult? You make more money as a leader, but you have more fun as a follower.

      • lucidamente

        And the bucks are tax exempt!

      • yyyaz

        Naw, the leaders always corral all the good tail and neuter the rest of the herd.

  • Teecha

    Oh for fuck’s sake. Whoever wrote this is a fucking idiot. IT IS EXPENSIVE TO BE POOR.

    My job put me in the top 10% of earners when I left the UK and I couldn’t afford to have my heating on and drive to work on the same days.

    If you are on the minimum wage, you likely live in a place where you can’t store bulk bought food, because you don’t have space. You can’t bulk buy, because although you are perfectly aware that it works out cheaper, it is not possible to spend £10 on something which will last 3 months because you don’t have £10 to fucking spend.
    A second hand bike is a) rare and b) not cheap. Cheap cars need fixing. They end up costing more than a newer one, but because you don’t have any money to make a large purchase, like a car, you have to keep paying to get your knackered old banger fixed. So you can’t save, coz you spend any accumulated cash on fixing the shitty car.
    If you live in a really cheap place, it is likely to be a shithole, with the associated issues of cold and damp and poor health which results. It is very unlikely that you can afford to live close enough to work to cycle. I don’t know about other places, but where I lived in England, plenty of jobs are in out of town industrial parks, and there’s no legal way to cycle to them, coz they’re a junction or two up the fucking motorway.

    If you struggle financially, it’s really hard to stay cheerful and positive, and any obstacle at all can knock you completely for 6. It took me 4 years of teaching on a fairly decent salary to pay off the debt accumulated whilst in temporary minimum wage jobs over the previous two years.
    I’m really fortunate to have a portable profession which I am able to use to get my sticky mitts on some cash from this rich country, but I’m still not in a position to have a 6 month cushion! This was completely impossible when working back home in a well paid job, let alone on minimum wage!

    Whoever wrote this can fuck right off. I hope they experience an extended period of poverty- say 3 years- in order to fully understand how relentlessly grinding it is to be poor.
    Twat.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Your reality is harshing our mellow. Please go away.”

      • yyyaz

        Harsh mellows are really good toasted over an open fire.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Harsh mellows are really good toasted over an open Trumpster fire.

          IFYPFY

    • Crystalclear12

      Been there, lived that, saving up for the T-shirt.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      See? They can’t really be poor if they’re leading such an expensive lifestyle! I mean the refrigerator repairs alone…!

    • Claire

      The car thing will legitimately kill your finances. I’ve been in exactly that position. And guess what? If you live in the middle of nowhere, which is the only place you can get a non-roach-infested apartment for under $600, a car is the only way you can get to a decent job. And if that car is twenty years old and gets 12 miles to the gallon, commuting costs are probably going to eat up more than half your paycheck anyway.

      • Teecha

        Shit innit? Although the ancient wreck of a car I had was a 1988 golf gti. On the rare occasions that nothing was wrong with it, it was a delight to drive. Went like shit off a shovel. I cained that car, and loved it.

    • Strepsi

      Not to mention that it’s impossible to shop around for bulk without a car. If you live in a city (like me) and have no car (like me) it’s a day trip on transit to even GET TO a big box store. Luckily there is a cheap Greek grocery for good fruit and veg that is 1/2 to 1/5 the cost at a major chain, so I always support Mom n Pop stores anyway.

      • Teecha

        I reckon you’re just not trying hard enough to get all your bulk shopping on a bike. These two chaps can get two sheep on a chicken chaser: surely you can get a sack of lentils on a pushbike? Where’s your ‘can do’ American spirit?
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c91628984bce0ee9751c46d314df63e86dc7aaba85d0026b05d94ecf11d94429.jpg

        • handyhippie65

          in asia, they use motor cycles with side carriers to move logs out of the forest.

      • arensb

        Just move to the downtown area, where everything’s within walking or biking distance.
        I’m sure there are plenty of refrigerator cartons that only cost $600/mo.

    • Me not sure

      Very well said.

    • arensb

      I think you’re describing Captain Samuel Vimes’s “Boots” theory of socioeconomic unfairness: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/72745-the-reason-that-the-rich-were-so-rich-vimes-reasoned

      • Teecha

        I think Terry Pratchett was spying on my life between 1998-2001.

        • handyhippie65

          having read all of his discworld books, that could be good or bad, depending on which character you identify with.

    • handyhippie65

      that’s why i spent three years at the carrier center in high school to study auto repair. doesn’t help out much with the modern auto, but having a couple of rabbits(the us version of the golf) there’s nothing i cannot fix on them, or any other vehicle from 1996 and older. the fuel injection system really sucks on those old v-dubs.

    • Sophie

      Also you can’t necessarily find way to lug all those big sacks of rice and lentils home.

      Edit: someone got there before me, oops.

  • Anna Rompage

    Is this why all those MRA douche bags brag about how they try to get women to foot the bill when they go out? Because they’re all working minimum wage jobs and trying to pretend like they’re “wealthy”?

  • anon_the_great

    Sackcloth and ashes are trending this Spring.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    OT more Russia shit flying, just reported.

    Blackwater founder held secret Seychelles meeting to establish Trump-Putin back channel

    The United Arab Emirates arranged the secret meeting — nine days before Donald Trump’s inauguration — between Blackwater founder Erik Prince and a Russian close to President Vladi­mir Putin as part of an apparent effort to establish a back-channel line of communication between Moscow and the president-elect, according to U.S., European and Arab officials. The White House said it was not aware of any meetings and Prince had no role in the transition.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/

    • Claire

      Fucking Blackwater again. No wonder Betsy Devos got to pick her own cabinet position.

    • Strepsi

      There were no meetings, and he wasn’t at them!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Oooh! This sound as though it could be very promising.

    • jesterpunk

      Drip Drip Drip

    • Logic of Color

      Prince?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You have to admire a company that lets you know it’s cartoonishly evil by naming itself “Blackwater.”

      • yyyaz

        Then renames it Xe. And renames it again as Academi, cuz it is so less-threatening if it sounds like some egghead, do-gooder thing.

    • Thiazin Red

      His sister is in the cabinet, you don’t get to play the “we have no idea who that guy is” card.

  • gamera23

    Try to be famous!
    Famous people get a lot of things free – and even get paid to use products! Savings.

  • Chyron HR

    I assume this document will be hastily revised once Comcast (the new 4th branch of government) hears the part about the serfs cancelling their cable.

  • Lizzietish81

    of course those cheap places are also terrible for women

    • jowgajen

      You can pay for your post-rape hospital care with your high deductible health insurance ….

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, but don’t count on any time off work. Shoulda thought of that before you started asking for it, you filthy hoor!

    • ariel_gee_398

      If you invest $3000 in building a bleeding hut in your back yard, you can save $20/month on tampons. It pays for itself in only 12.5 years.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      None of this applies to women, silly. They should be home, living in their parents’ home until they’re married, and if they’re not, well, they deserve what they get!

    • marxalot

      And queers, blahs, messicans, ek seterra.

  • jowgajen
    • DerpyGurdyMan

      For more savings, “shop” from the dumpsters *behind* the Costco !

      • DerpyGurdyMan

        and if you can’t find a < $600/mo apartment, or afford heat for one, set a Dumpster Fire ! those are quite popular, and a cheap form of entertainment

        • Vel Venturi

          Also great to elect as president.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You’ll have fabulous leg muscles from all that biking!

      • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

        Calves like cantaloupes!

    • marxalot

      Yeah, but do you know how expensive those panniers and tow-alongs are?

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Aww the original publisher of the article took it down!

    • Manders

      Probably got a few too many emails with “Dumbass” in the header.

      • tomamitai

        Also too, they must be quite pissed not to be getting paid by all the sites that are stealingciting it, slapping a few lines of text around it, and using it to generate page views. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;)

        • theCryptofishist

          In this case, no.

        • H0mer0

          aren’t they the ones who want to save money by not paying people for intellectual property or their cognitive work while golfing in Mar-A-Lago is such hard work?

    • Logic of Color

      Naw, it’s still up.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Elon Musk lived on a dollar a day for one month. One month is a stunt, not a lifestyle. Fuck, I once went 11 days without eating at all. That doesn’t mean it was a viable long-term diet.

    • Teecha

      Yep. A Tory politician did it for a tv show here for a month. But a month doesn’t help you understand how unremitting poverty is. One month with an unexpected and unaffordable event fucks you up for weeks and months and years after.

    • Sophie

      Yeah, and it completely doesn’t take into account how it feels to be someone with no education and no real prospects vs, you know, Elon Fing Musk.

  • Sardonicuss
    • DerpyGurdyMan

      steps 2 through 11: discover Bubblin’ Crude whilst huntin’ fer some food, or harvest and market Grapes of Wrath

  • wide_stance_hubby

    They left out the most important part: get a small loan of $1,000,000 from your rich daddy to start a business!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    If I were artistic, I could make a infographic about how to not be a dick.

    – support public policies that lift other people up even at your own expense
    – tip too much
    – pay for someone’s Rx at the pharmacy
    – be nice to the homeless man – maybe he’ll get help if you keel over
    – take the bus to work instead of the SUV
    – act like #BlackLivesMatter

    • Teecha

      What is Rx pls?

      • Lizzietish81

        Prescription

        • Teecha

          Aha! Thank you. Another entry in the Teecha’s international English/ American phrasebook.
          I wonder why it’s abbreviated to that? When I worked in a chemist, the pharmacist would say ‘script’

          • Claire

            I had to look this up. That the “R” is from the Latin “recipe,” meaning “take this,” seems well established, but theories veer off into what sounds a lot like Alex Jones territory from there. So far I’ve seen explanations from the crossbar ranging from invocations to Jupiter to the Eye of Horus to “Doctors just like to put xs on things, we dunno.”

          • Teecha

            I feel I have added to your day. So I’m happy about that!

          • Claire

            I always enjoy finding out that everyday things are unexpectedly weird.

          • Teecha

            Hurrah! So do I. Always surprised to find that not everyone is curious about stuff.

          • H0mer0

            doctor libel!
            I thought it was xtians who like to put xs on things.

          • Teecha

            They put fishes on stuff.

          • marxalot

            It spells “script,” honest.
            Imagine a capital P with an X written in subscript position- just below and to the right, so that the top left arm of the X crosses the P like the leg of an R. It is acutally the contracted version of the Latin word “recipe” which means “take (imperitive- command)” and has its roots in the same Classical lingo that all Victorians used to make themselves look smart and important.

          • Teecha

            Thanks! It’s a thing that I’d never heard of until I started avoiding the misery of my own countries politics by hanging around websites peopled by other nationalities with their own set of nonsense to deal with.
            Plus dick jokes and recipes.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Ya know how you can tell a particular post got under our collective skins? When there’s more than 100 additional comments by the time you get done reading the hundred that were already posted ten minutes after the article hit.

    • Teecha

      And the 84 which have appear whilst you’ve been adding your own pithy reply…

  • John Iwaniszek

    I can’t think of anything funny to say about this.

  • Lizzietish81

    ALSO, those cheapo cities are in states that did everything they could to avoid implementing the ACA

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Choose a high-deductible healthcare plan – and what, bozo? Pray you don’t have to use it? Because my damn deductible last year was fucking $10,000 – and I came in JUST UNDER it. Tell me how that would fit into my “savings plan.”

    • Claire

      Everybody knows you never actually have to USE insurance. It’s just there in case aliens invade or something.

    • Ralph Gauer

      Absolutely! Very well said … their misinfographic ignores the cashflow realities of relying on tax credits to rationalize health costs and the personal and economic frictional inefficiencies (don’t want to get all “economics degree-y” here) for all of their “walk to work/use a bike/get more education/move to Amarillo” crap. Man, what planet are they from? They should try being poor for a while before passing themselves off as an expert on it!

      Remember when the Republican party aspired for all Americans to achieve better outcomes? WTF is with the “you’ll be fine with less” messaging? This is “We know we’re tubing the economy/Here’s a survival guide” mentality.

      • Ralph Gauer

        By the way, Amarillo IS lovely, so I am not casting aspersions….

        • marxalot

          Sure, it’s a nice place to visit, but there isn’t exactly a growth market in the jobs that we’ve been told we need to have.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Of course, all this assumes that one does not have any medical conditions, past or present, require any medications, have any familial or relationship attachments or requirements, have any student debt, or a single vice of any kind.

    Essentially, this is the home budget of small-city-living and also single-child orphan Jesus Christ of the Impervious Immune System.

  • Mavenmaven

    And if you believe all this bogus fantasy, you will believe in the kindness of the Rich helping you in a trickle down fashion. HAHAHAHA drone worker!

  • John Iwaniszek

    But I will say this: it sounds like they are preaching to their unlucky bros who finally graduated and can’t find a job. Not to people who are two or three generations into a repeating cycle of poverty. So they naturally come off sounding like condescending assholes. Can’t be helped. It’s part of their upbringing.

  • lucidamente

    OK, who dosed Suze Orman’s drink with acid?

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      That would be fun to see.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I live alone, eat mostly at home, and spend around $100 at the grocery every time I go, which is 4-7 times a month. And I’m not buying crab legs and porterhouse steak, either. It’s just fucking impossible to spend $75/month on food for even one person. These damn mansplainers make my head ache.

    • Teecha

      You’re making the schoolboy error of expecting to eat food every day.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I knew this would be my fault, somehow. XD

        • Teecha

          ALWAYS!

    • Thiazin Red

      I suppose if you bought a big bag of rice, a big bag of dried beans and literally ate boiled rice and beans everyday you could do it.

  • DerpyGurdyMan
    • H0mer0

      Then PROFIT!!!

  • georgiaburning

    How do you freeze expenses for ten friggen years? Live in a park and eat squirrels with dandelion greens? Was this an April Fools’ article that got published late (sorry if somebody made these points downthread.)

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I was also wondering how you convince your landlord to not raise your rent for ten years? You could trade sex for low rent, that’s a tried and true method.

      • georgiaburning

        It works best if you, your landlord, and your building are falling in value at roughly the same rate. Gentrification messes that up.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yeah, but unfortunately in towns where the rent is falling, there usually aren’t a whole lot of jobs, so you drove your bike to Akron Ohio just to be unemployed and live in an old tire factory.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Other tips:
    A lot of people are willing to pay for blow jobs. The pay is usually quite good. Get over your pride, poor person! One blow job a week can add an additional $50 to your Vanguard account, and it has the bonus of being tax free.

    Consider adding a side car to your bike, and giving other poors a ride to their jobs. That side car will pay for itself in no time at all!

    Why pay rent at all? Cardboard boxes can be quite comfortable if you find your self a nice overpass to live under. Eventually you can save up enough to get yourself a nice tent.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      just don’t build a fire for heat or the bridge might fall down on top of you.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Also hope that the kids in the depressed factory town you moved to, don’t beat you with two by fours and baseball bats, because you’re a disgusting poor person, and they are bored.

  • Sardonicuss

    The investor class pundits have some strategy built upon inducing rage strokes en masse in the rest of us and profiting from it.
    Did they buy up all of the companies that operate MRI’s?

    • ariel_gee_398

      I suspect it’s tied to those high-deductible insurance plans the article recommends.

  • anon_the_great

    The Fecker who wrote this silly thing didn’t mention real powerful money saving tips like food stamps, food, clothing and furniture banks, free bus passes, subsidized housing, Obamacare, etc. Ya know, effin welfare. An income of $14k for a single person is little less than 133% of the Federal poverty level, an income at which there are a programs available.

    • Chyron HR

      Well, it would be misleading to tell people to plan around programs the author wants to abolish.

  • Thiazin Red

    Who the hell wrote this? Sure bike to work, because I’m sure your minimum wage job has a secure place to store it and doesn’t mind. And this cheap city is safe to bike in, and you’re not disabled, and you can somehow carry loads of bulk goods around on it.

    And I’m sure you’re hellhole of an apartment will have lots of storage space for your bulk purchases.

    • jowgajen

      Also you are white, male, have no criminal record, and have family you can rely on to help you in an emergency is understood.

      • marxalot

        Family that you don’t need to be anywhere near to receive that support. (so, not a free place to sleep, for instance)

    • teele

      Not to mention all utilities included in the rent.

  • Jamoche

    How is $270K supposed to be “financially independent”, anyway? Even living at the subsistence level they claim, with their $14K/year initial salary that’ll last 19 years. It’s not as if you’ve bought a house that’ll eventually be paid off, so you’ll keep paying rent during all that time, and of course rent goes up. Plus to do that you still have to not have any sort of life and be eating ramen.

    • jowgajen

      Your magic 4% return over inflation that you get from investing in low-cost index funds.

      • Jamoche

        That’s still not going to add enough years, unless the missing step is “and don’t ever retire”.

    • DerpyGurdyMan

      seems about 3 quarters of a million bucks short of independence. once had a professor ‘splain that a cool mill in the bank would provide a living from interest dividends alone. but i am a poor student of wealth and have not achieved

      • Claire

        It might have back in the day when passbook savings accounts had a 5% interest rate. Now they don’t even keep up with inflation.

        • DerpyGurdyMan

          if i knew more about stuff like that i could maybe retire someday

    • teele

      They lost me in the first frame. $385 in taxes? How are you supposed to get out of paying social security and medicare taxes? That eats up over $1200.00 right off the bat. This has to be a really poor attempt at humor.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Where did they find that health insurance? The cheapest I saw for an individual was around $6,500 for the year. So waiting for the tax credit seems impossible in that you’ll not have any money to live on to get there.

    • Jamoche

      California? No, wait, they said to move away from the states with ACA expansions.

  • Christopher Boscarino

    Jesus Fing Christ. Just the advice to move to another city ignores the fact that moving costs money. Especially if you plan to ride your bike there from out of state!

    • georgiaburning

      No how-to tips on hopping a railroad freight car? Some “Business Insider” this is!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        For god’s sake, they didn’t even have any tips on cooking hobo beans and squirrel over a camp fire, or how to make a decent bindle. I’ll be writing an angry letter to the editor about these oversights.

    • Logic of Color

      And if you have a minimum wage job, why would you move to a city where you probably don’t have a job? None of this make any sense.

      • Thiazin Red

        Are you supposed to take trips to the cheap city to apply for jobs first? Because that sound pretty fucking expensive.

        • Logic of Color

          Maybe Wendy’s has a relocation benefit? Can you prove it doesn’t?

          • GoutMachine

            Just hide in those refrigerated trucks they keep harping on about. What could possibly go wrong?

          • Undocumented Skwerl!

            And a non-compete clause!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’re supposed to just apparate to the new city, silly. Didn’t you learn that at Hogwarts?

    • arensb

      Look, just sell everything you own on Craigslist, and then you can bike from Brooklyn to Detroit.

  • Logic of Color

    Trump has been described as a poor person’s idea of a rich man. This is a rich person’s view of the poor.

    • arensb

      I think the article is missing step 11, which tells you that if you have no bread, just eat cake.

  • Me not sure

    10b. Buy a ski mask : $ 9.99
    Buy a pistol and ammo at a reliable pawn shop : price varies, but don’t be afraid to
    haggle.
    Rob a bank!

    • Dg Hacket

      Rob a rich oligarch!!

      • Me not sure

        Protip : Just not a Russian one. Thay will hunt you down.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      There was a man who robbed a bank in my town during the recession in 2009, because he had a little girl to feed and didn’t have a job. It literally broke my heart when I read the story.

    • yyyaz

      Buy a second-hand Armani, cook up a resume, borrow a couple billion from Russian oligarchs, start your own bank lending to corrupt New York City bungholes and their families.

    • jesterpunk

      Why buy a gun? You can always take it from one of those responsible gun owners.

      http://koin.com/2014/10/07/man-practicing-open-carry-law-robbed-of-gun/

  • GoutMachine
    • Thespian Pony Ron

      Pretty sure this wasn’t aimed at PoCs.

  • Vicious Babushka

    Move to a cheap city like Detroit but don’t have a car? LOLOLOLOL I’m dying here.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I don’t think Detroit is that cheap anymore, unless you’re living in a burned out house.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        I assumed that was what they meant.

    • GRH

      Heh, 1) Move to Detroit – 2) Sell your car – 3) Drive for Uber

  • Thiazin Red

    I also assume the writers have never not owned a car, and have never needed to walk to get somehwere. I lived in Columbus, OH which is a somewhat large city and it barely had sidewalks off the main street.

  • gamera23

    Surprised there was no advice to invest in real estate.

  • marxalot

    I particularly liked the “family and friends and connections where you are is just a lazy excuse for not moving somewhere else!” angle. Forget any safety net/support network you may have in place! Uproot yourself and move to a strange place, or you’re just too lazy to deserve welath!

    • theCryptofishist

      I think that the moves into suburbs broke all sorts of bonds, and frayed the fabric of our society.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Riding a bike can be problematic in adverse weather conditions. Or for those who are infirm or disabled.
    Seriously, who comes up with unmitigated horseshit like this?

    • Teecha

      Plus bikes aren’t free. They also need maintenance. And car drivers have a horrible habit of not seeing a cyclist. Which never ends well for the party not surrounded by a nice metal box.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        Bikes can be free, if you know someone you can borrow bolt cutters from.

        • Teecha

          You’re right. I hadn’t considered that. I suppose when it gets a puncture or needs some fettling, you just go ‘liberate’ another.

          • Thespian Pony Ron

            That’s the spirit!

    • DerpyGurdyMan

      unmitigated horses’ asses?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      People who never had to face adversity.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Entitled douchecanoes

    • clubseal

      Not to mention how much more time it would add to anyone’s schedule.

  • Sardonicuss

    After creating an economy that basically imprisons people in poor states because they can’t afford to move – Their advice is always to move.
    Goes right along with the no access to birth control or abortion but no help with child care.
    Bond villains version of an economy.
    “We don’t expect you to improve your lot poor people, we expect you to die.”

    • Teecha

      Yeh, poor people need to fuck off coz their cheap clothes and perfume upset the delicate senses of the rich. They can just go away and be poor somewhere else.

    • georgiaburning

      This would create a pool of labor in these states, comprised of people who will to work for whatever is being offered and unable to leave. Serf-in’ USA!

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I clicked the link to read the article, and I noticed it was published April 1st. Are we sure they weren’t pulling everyone’s leg?

    • StereotypicalCubsFan

      If it wasn’t BI, yes.

  • gamera23

    Jeff Desjardins likes dumb listicle and such. Clueless. “Here are the Top 10 Habits of Millionaires”

    • GoutMachine

      #1. Wake up.
      #2. Drink coffee.
      #3. Take a shower.
      #4. Get dressed.
      #5. Eat breakfast.
      #6. Brush teeth.
      #7. Go to work.
      #8. Work.
      #9. Go home.
      #10. Eat dinner.

      Hey, I do those things! I can be A Millionaire!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sounds suspiciously like the “Gay Agenda” to me!

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          Nah, it’s missing ‘brunch’ and ‘shopping.’

    • gamera23

      Original posting on Visual Capitalist appears to be taken down.

  • randomhookup

    Dumpster diving for fun *AND* profit!

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Well, you’re livin’ on the street,
      Cravin’ something hot
      It’s simmerin’ in a dumpster
      Back by Popeye’s parking lot

      Smell the rich aroma,
      It’s a fragrance to entice
      Dirty deep fried chicken
      And dirty dirty rice

      All my bros on Sunset know
      There’s nothing to compete
      No flop or rescue mission
      Serves nutrition so complete
      It’s downright good eatin’
      And there’s just no beatin’ the price
      Dirty deep fried chicken
      And dirty dirty rice

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB1sNNcC-dE

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      And sustenance!

    • Jenny

      My parents did this all the time. But the meth would run out and completely forget the profit part.

    • Thespian Pony Ron

      We call it ‘raccooning.’

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    DERELICTE!!!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOBAEa9wn8

    How long before Vuitton comes out with a fashion statement that features the latest in leather hobo bindles?

  • ExpatGirl

    So at what point do I quit my low paying big city job in the whole moving process? Or do I keep my big city job and ride my bike from my new slum digs a few hundred miles away?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Well the commute listed above is 38 miles round trip.

      • jowgajen

        You can train for the Tour de France while you save money.

      • boyblue122

        The grocery bill wont increase at all having to ride 40 miles a day im sure

        • Jenny

          Then you’ll be mistaken for a hobo!

          Or someone will steal your bike while you’re at work.

      • Thespian Pony Ron

        38 mile round-trip on a bike, in a Detroit winter on Detroit’s famous potholes. Or in a Mississippi summer in Jackson.
        And how do you amuse yourself when you’re not working? Why, go for a bike ride!

        • Claire

          Or in city traffic, in areas that don’t have bike paths because those are for latte-sippin’ coastal librul elites and we don’t need none a’ them here.

  • Logic of Color

    In my experience, people that pay minimum wage don’t want you full time.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Because they then have to pay for health bennies, and health bennies are expensive because the “free market” is notoriously unable to handle health care, because sprained ankles are not iPhones.

    • clubseal

      And they will make sure you work only up to and never over the statutory definition of full time employment.

    • Doug Langley

      And they constantly scramble the hours so it’s impossible to get a second job.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    They also forgot a few important ones:
    Free food at weddings, high scale grocery stores, and art openings.
    Sell plasma and unused organs.
    Sell all your possessions on Craigslist, then sell your neighbor’s.

    But whatever you do, do not ask to be paid more money!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m thinking that investing in a gun and mugging people would be a good job for your off hours. Hell, you’ve already got the bike for a quick get away.

    • Nyumbu

      Funerals are great for dining on a budget. Sometimes there is food both at the church and at the home of the deceased after, and at the latter there is always more food than the bereaved can consume. So you come up with a touching story about how the deceased helped you in some way, paid your way through college, saved your life when you were about to jump off a bridge. Express surprise that the deceased never told anyone about it, but then, no it’s not surprising, that’s just the way the deceased was, wasn’t he. Chances are you will get invited back to the house, and you will probably be sent home with enough food to sustain you for a week.

  • StereotypicalCubsFan

    Business Insider: Clickbait That Makes Us Look Dumb Since 2010!™

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    This is like some version of mansplaining, but instead for poor people? Richsplaining, maybe?

  • Where does the subscription cost for Business Insider fit in with this get rich slow plan?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Were you not paying attention? You go to the library, where you can read for free, on your bike.

      • D’oh! I really am bad at building wealth, on account of how I am a stupid, lazy poor!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Don’t feel bad, all poors are stupid and lazy.

  • beavertank

    When the class war finally starts in earnest and the mindless jerks end up against the wall I hope whoever wrote that steaming pile is first.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Nope, the Kochs are going first, followed by the Trumps, Rupert Murdoch,
      and then this asshole.

      • beavertank

        Damnit, the Cock Brothers always go first. That’s just not fair!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Don’t forget the Mercers, the DeVoses, the Waltons, and the Rmoneys!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Actually, Mercer does deserve a place at the front of the line. I might even put him before Trump.

    • SnarkON

      To be fair, the writer of this article probably got paid less than minimum wage for his or her efforts. Not snarking — writers are paid shit.

      • beavertank

        And it was clearly worth every penny. All five of them.

  • Christopher Boscarino

    I already commented on the bike part of this, but does that Netflix come through magic free wifi? Or am I expected to mooch off the “free” wifi that I can’t use because I can’t eat at restaurants? Also I have never been able to get my food expenses to $75 a month and that was buying in bulk and cooking everything from scratch. With almost no meat.

    Anyway the worst part of being poor is listening to this kind of condescending BS from people who have never been poor. This idea that the only reason the poor are poor is because they won’t give up their cable subscriptions and move (for free!) out of state, or can’t stop eating expensive food keeps blaming the poor and ignores that many don’t have these things because they already have NO MONEY. OR A CELLPHONE. OR CABLE.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      But they probably have a refrigerator in their apartment!

      • Christopher Boscarino

        Of course! and the only thing separating the poor from prosperity is their drug habit. The poor have tons of money to do that. Not like the middle and upper classes. Ahem.

      • eyelashviper

        Slackers, if they were motivated, they could dine at the dumpster for every meal, no need for fridges.

      • Claire

        Jonathan Kozol, in “Rachel and Her Children,” talks about people living in homeless shelters with no refrigerators. There were a lot of diabetics keeping insulin under running water or dangling on a string from the windowsill in the winter. Kozol is clearly a Godless Librul because he did not appear to think that this was a good thing.

    • clairence

      $20 per week? that’s less than $3 per day. how, exactly?!
      kids don’t eat I guess.

      • eyelashviper

        Kids?? Nothing budgeted here above gerbil status, and they can eat grass at the park for free.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Not only have they never been poor, this idiot can’t even develop an actual household budget.

      Laundry? Toiletries? Haircuts?

      • grindstone

        Add a kid or kids to this mix and there’s no way out. $75 a month doesn’t feed one person, let alone three. And when exactly are you supposed to cook all that bulk food when you’re biking your commute and working shit hours? Speaking of, let’s say you’ve moved nearer the industrial park where your job is so you can bike, and you’ve found a $600/month apartment. The schools in that area are guaranteed to be The Worst, so you’ve just doomed any kids to the same cycle of poverty you’re in yourself.

      • SweetDeeKat

        I assume you are expected to steal toilet paper from local rest stops.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Your $600/month apartment with all utilities included is supposed to be next door to a neighbor whose WiFi password is “password”.

  • Jenny

    Plenty of people do live this way because they have to…. It’s even a huge badge of honor in some parts of reddit to be well off but live way below your means.

    But the living where affordable is nearly impossible now. So there’s that.

    • Christopher Boscarino

      I don’t have a problem with people *choosing* to do that. However, there is a point where you simply do not make enough to survive in the U.S. in any meaningful way, and don’t have that extra cushion that making more and living on less allows. It’s a side effect of capitalism that the relatively affluent put blinders on and pretend that the poor have access to resources that they do not, like plentiful $600 dollar housing in areas with work, money for bicycles, or ignore other real fixed costs like taxes, which Evan addressed. It really gets me angry. Not at you in particular, but just generally.

      • Jenny

        Oh I know. I did happen to do all the things in this article back in 1998, literally every single thing this article suggested but there was no way I was getting rich off that. Just no way. There’s no way then and no way now.

  • clairence

    first they say find cheap rent, then they say move within biking distance of work. does that mean clear across the metropolis? so what if it takes four hours each way. think how fit you’ll be (no need for insurance!).

    Also, who gives a rip if everyone you care about lives somewhere else. Chase that pittance, fool!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Chase That Pittance is my new klezmer jug band!

      • clairence

        darnit! I shouldn’t have said anything….

  • StereotypicalCubsFan

    How to Have Everything Go Right: Never Have Anything Go Wrong

    • Sophie

      Stupid poor people can’t even do that simple thing.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I am going to out on a limb and assume a Baby Boomer wrote this.

    • yyyaz

      Oh, please. * /sarcasm*

    • SnarkON

      Really? I’m going to go out on a limb and assume an entitled Millennial did.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’m going for child of the shitty grade Z movie star Generation X type, myself.

      • Claire

        I don’t know. This has all the hallmarks of someone my generation or above who doesn’t understand that the discrepancy between the minimum wage and the cost of living has widened drastically since the last time they worked at a low-wage job. “Get an antenna and watch free broadcast channels”? What millennial even knows how? *I* don’t know how, and I’m GenX. A millennial’s advice would be “You can always find things to watch online.”

        • Thespian Pony Ron

          WHAT broadcast? Hell, most new TVs don’t even have an antenna jack.

          • Claire

            I went to amazon and searched “tv antenna”. They have them, and I assume they come with instructions, but a lot of them are really expensive. And you’re right, I don’t even know what broadcasts they’d pick up. One of the antennae said it picked up UHF/VHF broadcasts which I sort of remember FROM MY CHILDHOOD. I’d be afraid to watch in case I found myself in the middle of a Twilight Zone episode about a creepy clown on a children’s show and people getting sent to the cornfield.

          • NerdWithNoName

            I am not poor but I am very cheap and I already do a lot of the things mentioned. I receive only free broadcast TV using an antenna on the roof. You need to be within line of sight of the broadcast antenna and most (maybe all) TV stations are required by the FCC to broadcast a free digital signal. I am about 20 miles from broadcast antenna and I get good reception from the local NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox stations as well as a few independent stations. I don’t watch much TV and I pay $0.00/month for it. For details see http://disablemycable.com

      • Alan

        Nah, baby boomers are the sociopaths that believe this crap.

        • SnarkON

          Millennials are the underpaid slaves who work for crappy Internet news sites.

  • Rick Kitchen

    I’m assuming this isn’t an April Fool joke, despite the date on the Business Insider article.

    • Tofu Killer

      Even if it is an April Fools joke (which it probably is since not enough of the Minimum Wage folks read Business Insider for this to be serious advice), it is the humor of a moral monster (Let’s Make Ironic Fun of With the Poors!!!!). There is nothing intrinsically ‘wrong’ with the advice, it is the standard David Ramsey Pay-Yer-Bills-And-Live-Godly BS, but from experience I can tell you that it isn’t a lack of trying that keeps you poor. It is that it only takes one little disaster of a couple hundred bucks to get all your junk out on the curb.

      No, what is pissing me off real big is that this is a pretty accurate infographic for the worldview of the pompous asshats who used to judge my work ethic while I was working myself harder than I can even believe now.

  • eyelashviper

    And if you live in a recycled cardboard box under the interstate, you can hang out at the on/off ramp with a sad sign about needing a new leg, transfusion, or whatever…all that change adds up.
    Also too, you have two kidneys, two eyes, two ears, and lots of extra digits, so that should go far.
    Ubering on a bike is great entrepreneurship, and maybe you can deliver pizzas also too, good tips.
    With such good tips, who needs a job or minimum wage, or elitist clean food and water??

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Business Insider, Idiots writing for Idiots..
    Their target audience seems to be 20 something wannabes.

  • clubseal

    Of the many stupid things contained within Business Insider’s unsolicited advice, here are a couple standouts:
    1. Do we think that poor people, if given the choice, would happily move to better neighborhoods, closer to where they work? I sure do. Of course, reality tends to mock those who think that “just move” is a realistic piece of advice for anyone struggling to pay rent.
    2. It is cheaper to buy fresh vegetables and cook for yourself when we’re talking about finances. However, having been a poor person working two or more jobs, I can say that time to prepare said meals dictates what you end up buying and can realistically make in between work and school. And I didn’t have kids, and I bet that cooking for kids is a much more daunting task, even if you’re not on a tight budget.

    • Teecha

      And there are costs involved in cooked from scratch. You need a hob, pots and pans, extras like cooking oil and other basics. You need to pay for the energy consumed whilst cooking.

      • clubseal

        That’s what’s crazy about this (granted, I don’t read Business Insider, so maybe it’s not outside the norm) – but these aren’t even nuances associated with the various issues for poor people. They are the black and white realities of living with an income that doesn’t meet your basic needs.

    • Bmaccnm

      I’ve done the single parent with 2 or even 3 jobs gig, and my Goodwill crockpot was the single best 5 dollar investment I ever made. 1 person COULD eat oatmeal, loss leader sale items, beans & veggies for maybe $25-30 a week, but it takes planning and dedication. A loss-leader frozen pizza was a big fuckin treat. And I grew spinach and kale in buckets around the yard.

    • SarcasticFringehead

      To cook, you need time and equipment. It’s a lot easier to cook cheap, healthy meals in a functional kitchen with decent quality pots and pans than in a shithole kitchen with whatever cheap crap you were able to find at Goodwill. And make sure your job has a fridge, a microwave, and somewhere nice to sit, so you can bring your lunch to work.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Also, too, the slum you’re living in for $600/mo is a food desert.

    • Alan

      Sell the kids?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    When did they move Akron to Southern O’tucky?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Akron had to move to save money for their weekly half sammich and Netflix subscription. They’ll only be on Kentucky’s couch for like a week or two, promise.

  • Strepsi

    Cut your cable! “Better yet, stop watching TV and go outside!”

    http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/homeless011314.JPG

  • SnarkON

    Business Insider is the very definition of Fake News.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    Finally!!!! I can get that van down by the river I’ve had my eye on!
    Thanks, Business Insider!

  • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

    11. Lots of people you meet have money. Ask for some!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      12. At the point of a gun, people tend to be more likely to give you their money…all of it.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Here’s a little something the writer of this article left out, even if you do everything right, you’re still going to get fucked when the GOP decides to deregulate banks, and that house you worked so hard for is now worth less than what you paid for it. You could sell your stocks (as Michelle Caruso Cabrera recommended to the middle class during the 2009 depression), but unfortunately you won’t get much for them, since everyone else is also busy selling assets to continue to be able to eat.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Pffft. Eating is for elite librulz anyway. Why do you hate freedom?!?!

  • eyelashviper

    Well, I got stymied at the first step. Once I found the damn Unicorn, it refused to do anything without a $10,000 retainer…

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Is this all a plan to move all poors to one central location & then bomb them? WTF Business Insider??? These are NOT good tips. Trying to find a place to rent for under $600 per month? They’re obviously smoking crack! When was the last time they tried to rent a place? They might as well added “BONUS TIP! Win the lottery!”

    • SarcasticFringehead

      Find a place that’s close to work (so you don’t have to commute) and to parks and community centers (paid for with the taxes rich people always complain about, that weren’t included in this budget) and to a grocery store with a good bulk foods selection and to somewhere you can go hiking (that you can get to by bike) and to a thrift store for all your shopping, all for under $600 a month. Granted, I’m no economist, but that doesn’t sound particularly feasible…

    • SullivanSt

      Not to mention, if everyone tried to follow their advice, it would instantly void itself as the rents in currently-inexpensive cities skyrocketed due to demand spiking way beyond supply.

      And no, houses don’t build themselves overnight so supply cannot simply rise to meet demand.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I hate when you get all negative on me.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Sorry 😑 some things just really piss me off…

  • Jenny

    Also too. I live in what is a booming town. The places I want to go are close, the park, library, the community center. All relatively close a mile or five away, but guess what. No sidewalks. It’s a two lane road connecting me and these fun things. A two lane road with no medians or any kind of space between me and a truck barreling down the road at 68 mph.

    Yeah. I’m totally free to enjoy these free things, if I don’t mind playing frogger. Worse, the kids in this neighborhood are limited from accessing the pool, the skate park, or the bowling alley.

    Walking or biking is cool but not worth it risking your life. Which makes a car a necessity.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      In my town they’re trying to make it illegal to ride a bike downtown.

  • SnarkON

    The poor are poor because real wages in this country have remained stagnant for something like 30 years while the cost of living has soared. You can give up all the $5 lattes you want; you can bike 50 miles to work in the rain each day for the rest of your life, but unless corporations start to pony up some living wages, you’ll still never get ahead. Poverty is baked into the system at this point.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Where have all the productivity gains gone? Into the Caymans bank accounts of parasites like the Kochs, the Mercers, the Waltons, the Devoses.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        You forget to mention all the good things the Waltons and Kochs do. For example, they open art museums. Sure, they get a tax break for opening that museum, that is NOT open to the public, that houses their private art collections, but you’re just whining because you’re jealous that you don’t have a tax payer subsidized private museum for your collection of tchotkes.

        • Lark_in_the_AM

          Is this for realz? If so, it ought to be publicized from sea to shining sea, until the Congress caves to pressure from us non-billionaires to rescind it.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Yes, it’s true. It’s yet another tax dodge for the uber wealthy. Allegedly the museums are also open to “scholars” but I suspect that’s bullshit.

    • Doug Langley

      There are hi-tech jobs that pay quite well, but personal experience has shown that getting one is like winning the lottery: forget it. So what’s the alternative? Flipping burgers at McDonalds? What’s the answer?

  • Themostunclean

    Note that they used “median” for the cost of rent. It’s bullshit when articles use this. They hope that enough people don’t remember their statistics well enough to know that median isn’t anywhere near the same as average.

    I live in a relatively rural area and the average rent around here is $800 a month.

    • SnarkON

      Hey, if you average Bill Gates and me, our net worth is like three billion dollars.

    • looksquirrels

      Median is really a better indicator of what people are paying. A couple of expensive houses throw off the mean drastically, e.g.

      • Themostunclean

        That holds true with median as well though, doesn’t it?

        I live in a beach community and the median rent is much lower than the average.

        • SullivanSt

          No, it doesn’t. That’s the entire point of median.

          • Themostunclean

            I’m not remembering correctly then. I just recall researching rent in my area before I moved here and being completely shocked by how off the claimed median rent was. The average was much closer to what I was seeing in real-world prices.

          • SullivanSt

            Two possible explanations for that – published data is necessarily at least months old and rents can climb rapidly; and the data is usually for all apartments whereas you’re only looking at apartments currently available to let, which isn’t the same set, likely featuring a higher proportion of new or newly renovated units.

        • SullivanSt

          Imagine a community where 90 apartments rent for $1,000/mo, and 10 apartments go for $11,000/mo each.

          Mean rent for that community is $2,000/mo, but 90% of residents are paying $1,000/mo.

          If you’re moving into the community, $1,000/mo is going to be your most likely cost.

          The median is $1,000. It reflects the experience of the person in the middle. Typically things change least quickly at the middle, so if you’re going to try to boil the situation down to just a single number, that’s the most representative one to go with.

          • Themostunclean

            OK. My understanding of median was just more simplified. I remembered it as simply being the figure that falls in the absolute middle of the range.

          • Themostunclean

            OK. I mixed up mathematical median with statistical median. Me bads.

    • SullivanSt

      Median is actually the correct measure to use for this. It means that half of all apartments can be had for that much or less.

      Mean is distorted by prices at the top end.

      But I’d really like to see their homework on the assertion, because I’m looking at Detroit’s numbers and I think they miss the $600-or-less mark, given the range for 1-beds is listed by numbeo as $800-$1,500 with the average at $1,200, which excludes all possibility of the median being anywhere close to $600. Splitting a 2-bed would of course be cheaper, but even the average 3-bed split 3 ways would still just miss the mark, and the more people you’re depending on, the more chance you’ll be stuck paying extra while trying to replace an ex-roommate.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Yeah, in my area they say the median price for a home is $200,000. If you can find a house under $200,000 there is going to be a bidding war for it.

    • NerdWithNoName

      Lets use the mode rent! I forget what “mode” means but lets use it anyway.

    • doktorzoom

      You can save oodles of money by living in a tent on the freeway median.

  • GRH
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Pfff, suitcases and ropes? THESE ARE NOT POOR PEOPLE!

      –Trumpkin equivalents of that era

  • Mister Thibs

    I suppose this did get published on April Fool’s Day, but it’s none too amusing if that was the aim.

  • SullivanSt

    But food in bulk when it’s on sale

    Great, after finding some giant panniers for your bike at the thrift store I guess? Because you told everyone to sell their car and have no room in your budget for even bus fares let alone Uber.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Well someone obviously thinks he/she is too good for a hobo bindle.

      • SullivanSt

        Oh silly me, that sounds like a totally responsible way to handle a 25lb sack of rice while negotiating inner-city traffic on a bicycle!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          That’s the “can do” spirit I was looking for!

    • Sophia

      Hey, get a little red wagon for that bike. (Actually may need a big red wagon)

  • Thespian Pony Ron

    Also not shown: inflation.

    • mancityRed6

      Yeah, I liked how the expenses don’t go up over 10 years.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    It’s becoming fashionable again for rich people to hire hermits to live in huts on their extensive estates, for the amusement of their guests. Try to line up such a gig- experienced peacock wranglers preferred!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Do these motherfuckers know why the cost of living is so low in Akron, Buffalo, Jackson and the rest of those places? It’s because no one wants to live there because there are no jobs. Those are the kind of cities people ESCAPE from.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Mark Mothersbaugh started DEVO just to get the hell out of Akron.

    • Claire

      For real. Places with good jobs and good living conditions are expensive because they can be, and businesses can afford to locate themselves in places they can attract good people to come live in. Moving to a place because it’s cheap is the sort of thing you do when you’re too poor to have any other option, not a wealth-building strategy.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I feel like you’re suggesting that the free market is a rough place for people who don’t have the resources to be powerful players there, but that can’t be right.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Idea #219: Live in a tent in an underpass and have your kids dress in plastic bags. And remember, when things are going poorly: what little taxes you are paying are going to make multimillionaires billionaires. Enjoy!

  • canes_pugnaces

    Idea #674: Dig up worms from the landfill you’re living in and eat them for protein. Send your kids to school with pretend food, because it’s good for their imagination.

    • Raan

      #675: Dig up worms to sell to fishermen, save enough money that you can eventually live in a van down by the river.

  • Raan

    Other possible paths to wealth:
    Be a six-fingered genius, receive a research grant, and move to a shack in the woods.

    Erase your memory after a traumatic experience, save up thirty years of “scribbles”, and patent all of them.

    Sell large quantities of inexpensive, shoddily made merchandise, skip town and fake your death, and make a career out of lying to rubes.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    $75/month for groceries . . . while eating almost entirely veggies. Um. I stopped at the store on my way home from work. Picked up 4 baking potatoes, 2 yellow squash, a two serving bag of green beans, a bag of stir-fry veggies (with included sauce)(which was marked down because date) and 1 loaf of bread. $8.73.

    So, bread, 4 servings of starch, and maybe 8 servings of veggies. What’s that – 2 meals, with 2 starches (and the bread) left over? That’s . . . two meals. TWO.

    • Jenny

      I’m assuming this person in imaginary land has an Aldi’s or other discount grocer.

      When I was a young, working my minimum wage job at a grocery store, I found that hispanic labeled groceries were cheaper than the American version but made by the same food companies. I could get 8 bags of noodles for a dollar compared to maybe two bags for American stuff.

      Then ethnic food became trendy and all the affordable food and accoutrements went away. /flail

    • SullivanSt

      I mean my reflex reaction to the “oh pity us we live in NYC but still have two cars and can’t save except for 401k and college 529s for our two kids” budget was that $23k/year on food was a little steep. But on reflection it’s probably not that far off for these parts, and certainly $480/mo/person is a lot closer to the mark than $75. Now I’m sure it’s not as expensive in Knoxville, but if it was that far apart someone would arbitrage the difference away toot sweet.

    • MargeSimpson27

      Of all the things in this article, I thought the $75 a month on food was the most ridiculous. I spend about $650 a month on food for TWO people, and I do shop at Aldi. We don’t even buy the stuff I would really like to have and there is no fast food or processed food. I live in Chicago and believe it or not the food here is cheaper than in smaller towns because I can go to a vegetable mart and get veges really cheap. I find that smaller towns always have more expensive food than we do in the city. Unless of course you are talking about eating out. Chicago prices will bankrupt you!

      • Rebecca Johnson

        What the fuck are you eating at $650 a month at Aldi’s?

  • Ricky Gay

    “if you are reading this you have internet access and are therefore being frivolous!”

    • Raan

      If you are reading this, you still have eyes which you could be selling on the black market.

      • Ricky Gay

        Do’h!

  • Lucas Foxx

    Just spend the cash and move to a cheaper state, say the people who have never been poor.

    • Left Coast Tom

      …or seen what it costs to move.

      1987, straight out of college (therefore few belongings), an employer moved me across the country to CA. My taxes say it cost $17K – this includes per diem between the time I moved and the time I found an apartment.

      Assuming a 0% inflation rate since then, that leaves this “minimum wage budget” at a starting point of negative $3K.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Morgan Spurlock did a show where he and his SO tried to live on minimum wage for 30 days. With predictable results. It’s expensive being poor!

    • MamaBrown

      “The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.”– Willem de Kooning. that is nothing but the truth. All that biking to work and working two jobs and having to trek across town to the thrift store for clothes and then to the dollar store for the cases of ramen you’re transporting home on your trusty bike–when exactly are poor people sleeping? and really–go for a bike ride for leisure? when you’re supposedly riding the damn thing all day every day just to get around?

    • Doug Langley

      As Barbara Ehrenreich said “Be glad you’re not poor, you couldn’t afford it.”

  • GRH

    What’s all this BS about Elon Musk living down-n-dirty (ramen noodles my ass).

    From his wikipedia page….
    Musk was initially educated at private schools.

    In 1992, after spending two years at Queen’s University, Musk transferred to the University of Pennsylvania, where, at the age of 24, he received a Bachelor of Science degree in physics from its College of Arts and Sciences, and a Bachelor of Science degree in economics from its Wharton School of Business. Musk extended his studies for one year to finish the second bachelor’s degree.

    While at the University of Pennsylvania, Musk and fellow Penn student – Adeo Ressi – rented a 10 bedroom fraternity house, using it as an unofficial nightclub.

    In 1995, Musk and his brother, Kimbal, started Zip2, a web software company, with $28,000 of their father’s money.

    • Alan

      They just forgot the part about get your dad to pay for your education and then borrow his money.

      • Sophia

        They always forget that part

        • SullivanSt

          Or just handwave it away as “$1 million loan was nothing” (and let’s just not talk about Daddy repeatingly bailing me out to the tune of at least another $13 million, never repaid)

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        And, apparently, his car, to use for Uber monetizing.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      His mother was/is a model, so I don’t think he’s from the hard scrabble streets of Philly.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      He ate hot dogs and oranges for a month as a fucking 19 year old college student who didn’t have to worry about work, rent, kids, illness, et fucking cetera.

  • Alan

    They meant this as a joke?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Visual Capitalist removed it from Twitter and admitted that it was “tone deaf,” amid protests by a person named Armpit who purports to be a libertarian.
      https://twitter.com/VisualCap

      • Doug Langley

        When a libertarian tells you you’re tone deaf, you really have problems.

      • Alan

        So not a joke, just stupid?

  • Hey, I did all of those things when I lived in my ’66 Westy for a couple of years and I’m still paycheck to paycheck twenty years later.

    Alas, Elon Musk I’m not. But on the other hand, I’ll bet Elon’s never changed the clutch on a ’66 VW Bus (in less than 2 hours) on a dirt road outside Santa Rosalia, Baja and made it to Mulege for supper that evening.

  • Doug Langley

    As someone who’s on the brink of despair over my job situation, this makes me so stabby I can’t think straight. So I’ll offer this as commentary:

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/feb/07/suicide-rates-rise-butte-montana-princeton-study

  • Bananadrama

    The apartment I lived in in OKC was $294 a month in the 90s and it’s $410 today, so I guess it’s possible if you do live in a cheaper area.

    (I had two jobs at the time, though.) Back then jobs were growin’ on trees!

    • Alan

      The apartment I rented in Boston for $300 was split into 2 studios that go for $2500 each today. Could walk anywhere though.

      • Bananadrama

        This is the biggest problem – lack of affordable places to live in places where you don’t need a car. Three housemates could split the rent in my (southern) neighborhood and pay $400 a month each, but you can’t walk to a job from here.

      • Mike Steele

        OLD Lady MS here: Lived in true studio (one large room & bath) on bus line in lovely Balto. neighborhood in the ’60s, living as frugally as stated above. Nonetheless, even making a jar of pb, loaf of bread, 2 cans of tuna and a box of Cheerios last two weeks (got one discount meal at work), rent of $69.50/mo. + utilities ate up my $48/wk. take-home right fast. The thought that one has money to save is an arrogant conceit, as you don’t go from $14K to $32K on yearly incremental raises of $.50/hr., for fucksake!

        • Alan

          Imagine how much that studio costs today.

          • Mike Steele

            I can’t even —-

    • Shakenbake

      My apartment in OKC (Penn & Hefner) was $335 in 1993, literal murders and collapsing balconies included. Plus they had drug dealers on site and unlimited cockroaches. Such a deal! Crom knows what that dump goes for today but whoever is charging it should be embarrassed.

      • Bananadrama

        Oh man, I was out on S. Western, near Moore. Neighborhood seemed fairly safe. Until that one tornado touched down a block or two away. The buildings are still there, though.

        Oooh, it’s gone up: 1 Bed 1 Bath Studio | $509-$569 (One bedroom, but no door to it, so…I guess they’re going with calling it a studio.)

        • Shakenbake

          I bet I know that complex. I worked at down that way when the ’99 tornado came through. Half the people I worked with ended up living there because their houses were a total loss. Small world, the Wonketariat.

    • Belasaurius

      I lived in Nacogdoches which is Gohmert Territory. It was cheap.

    • mancityRed6

      $285 (2 bed, all electric) in Joplin ’96-’98. It was only really bad when the cops stopped coming by on just the weekends and started being called every night.

      $500 a month (1 bed, all utilities paid) in Lawrence ’07-’08, which definitely was a steal. Even with the dealer across the hall, or the time someone sprayed pepper spray on all the door knobs.

  • Gorillionaire

    Ramen noodles, the cheap kind you buy for a quarter at the supermarket, are made with petroleum product, and will give you serious intestinal problems if you eat it three times a week or more for several weeks. Not the funny kind, but the eventual cancer kind.

    • Rebecca Johnson

      That is not true. Ramen noodles are made from wheat flour. Don’t spread bullshit.

      • Gorillionaire

        Tertiary-butyl hydroquinone (TBHQ) ain’t wheat flour, honey pie.

        • gregormendel

          Reliable source that is not Natural News, please?

        • Rebecca Johnson

          The main ingredient in ramen noodles (listed first) is wheat flour. https://www.nissinfoods.com/Nutrition/Top%20Ramen%20NF%20Ingredients.pdf

          If you think that a tiny amount (like less than 0.02% of the oils) of a preservative in ramen noodles is the equivalent of “made with petroleum product,” then I don’t know what to say to you.

        • ahughes798

          Frankly, I’d be more worried about the sodium.

    • gregormendel
  • Nyumbu

    First, get rid of your car. Then, drive for Uber in your free time.

  • Stulexington

    Oh, so all you have to do is not participate in the consumer based economy. That certainly won’t lead to race to the bottom like conditions which a healthy minimum wage is suppose to prevent.

  • Belasaurius

    what the fuck?

  • mancityRed6

    So, who’s up for buying socks and underwear at a thrift store?

    • Belasaurius

      pre stained?

      • mancityRed6

        it’s so much easier than doing it yourself.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Save time in clothes shopping! Find a homeless man that wears your size, and shiv him in the night! Be sure to keep the blood off the clothes though, that’ll cost to clean!”

      • SullivanSt

        Works great for pants, not so helpful with shirts unless you don’t mind blood stains and hepatitis.

  • Belasaurius

    Ride a bike 38 miles to work in Texas in the summer? FUCK YOU.

    • vivian

      Now where’s your can-do attitude, hunh? Just find a nice $600/mo apartment in Amarillo that’s within biking distance of work and use the bike to Uber your friends there too! It’s so simple! And after ten years of living like a wharf-rat you can have as much money as the 1% make in an hour! Cool!

  • mancityRed6

    How are you supposed to be an Uber driver or sell furniture if you give up your car?

    • Belasaurius

      there you go complaining again. Republican Jesus is sadz for you

  • Shakenbake

    It’s remarkable the lengths rich assholes will go to in order to assuage their guilt over living off the misery of their workers. To corrupt a quote from Archie and Edith Bunker, mister, we could use a man like Woody Guthrie again.

  • mancityRed6

    How can you “call an old friend” free?
    Ok, I guess you can call collect, but how long will they be a friend then?

    • 3FingerPete

      How can you start a blog when you have dropped your Internet provider?

      • mancityRed6

        I guess just bike down to the local library after work. But that does call into question the Netflix subscription. My internet, netflix, and hulu is about $876 a year. I could save $24 if I went back to ads on the hulu, but I have standards.

        • brucej

          Oh don’t worry, after they get done bootstrapping you to unimaginable wealth the folks behind this BS will get back to Brownbacking the rest of the country. Public Library? What is this “public library” of which you speak?

          • mancityRed6

            As a Kansan, yeah, I’m wondering how long that will take.

  • Themostunclean
  • Lambsendbeds

    So, you are working your 40 hour/week minimum wage job for $14,000/year. Follow their suggestions to make extra $$$ to boost your income to $32,000/year…WTF??? Your “extra” jobs are going to more than double your income? What kind of meth are these guys smoking?

    • mancityRed6

      prostitution is only illegal if you get caught.

      • ahughes798

        So is selling drugs! You could do both and make a decent hunk of change!

    • WeaselPoo

      It must be the best meth. Tremendous, terrific meth.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
    • Left Coast Tom

      Anchor Steam…Sierra Nevada Pale Ale…it’s all confusing.

  • Rebecca Johnson

    I make less than 20k a year and I don’t think these are horrible tips, except for the strange bit about biking 38 miles roundtrip to work – who can do that every day? This is stuff that I already do for the most part anyway. It’s just how you make ends meet on a low salary unless you want to accumulate a lot of debt. I drive a 2004 Ford Focus, I don’t buy a lot of new clothing, and I’m honestly fine with it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, just get rid of luxuries like cable or a car in a jurisdiction with no public transportation or grocery stores near affordable housing. It’s not like your boss would ever need to email you or anything.

    • Serolf Divad

      Silly, you’re supposed to live in the dumpster behind the restaurant where you wash dishes. Bingo: no commute.

    • WeaselPoo

      Avge. room (only clothes closet, share bath/toilet, kitchen etc) in Jersey City NJ is $700, almost twice what you pay.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There’s enough cities where it’s worth your life to ride a bike anyway.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Business Insider” sounds like another Trump brag to Billy Bush.

  • SadDemInTex

    This shit really makes my head explode. The fucking assholes who wrote this and published it should be publically destroyed. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2f787138c3983f52e681d8289ef99fce3be0cb54f6c1479b2134781d78fac91a.jpg

  • tehbaddr

    Rat Bastard Fuckers!

  • chascates

    I lived in Amarillo, Texas for five years. Try armed robbery instead of moving there.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The Business Insider article makes a lot of stupid assumptions, like you don’t have children and none of those children are special needs kids for whom there is no program available in a cheaper city, you never get sick and your children never get sick, you can afford to move and you don’t have elderly parents living nearby that you must stick around to look after, you don’t get fired because you refuse to give sexual favors to your boss or you show up 10 minutes late on your bicycle because it snowed 14 inches overnight, you don’t mind living with cockroaches, and you aren’t hit by a car on your way to work driven by a moron who refuses to acknowledge that bicyclists have a right to share the streets. I think it also assumes you are white, because if you are black, you don’t want to live in Springfield, MO or Jackson, MS.

    UPDATE: I just went to look at the original article on “Visual Capitalist” and it is not there anymore.

    • Rebecca Johnson

      Jackson is literally 80% African-American. Why wouldn’t you want to live there?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Out of 50 largest US cities, only one has a police force that isn’t whiter than the population

        http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/5/5/1382601/-Out-of-the-50-largest-US-cities-only-1-has-a-police-force-that-isn-t-whiter-than-the-population

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I stayed there overnight twice, and drove through numerous times. The white people were blatantly racist and offended me by automatically assuming I shared their opinions, and the African Americans I met, who were uniformly friendly and charming, said there was constant, unsubtle discrimination, and I got a very negative feeling about the place. I did not get that feeling in any of the towns I lived in in Louisiana – but the atmosphere changed subtly when I crossed the border into Mississippi. It is not easy to describe this in words, except to say that in Mississippi there was more obvious racial tension than in Louisiana.

    • mancityRed6

      I do concur about Springfield.

  • Nodrama4mama

    They forgot to mention the sweet, sweet benefits of selling your plasma. You can sell plasma 2x a week and get between $25-$50 per donation. Seriously though, fuck them with a chainsaw of votes.

    • Vel Venturi

      VOTESAW

      I’m for this

  • President in Exile Firefly

    What if I don’t want to live in Akron and eat what I cook?

    • canes_pugnaces

      Then don’t pay taxes for twenty years like the president because you’re smart.

      • Rebecca Johnson

        You don’t pay much income tax on minimum wage anyway.

        • Lefty Wright

          You pay 7.65% off the top for Social Security and Medicare, so take about $1,100 off the top. Most states charge sales tax, mine does even on electric power. And are apartments that include all utilities a thing anymore, especially at $600 a month?

          • I can’t get over $600 a month with all utilities included. Around here, that’s a thing, if you don’t mind rooming with several armies of cockroaches. Probably bedbugs now too — they’ve gotten bad around here in the past few years.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    I have read a lot of stuff like this on the internet in my journey to retire at the age of 50, but trying to use tips like this to lecture minimum wage earners is pretty dumb. I realize I am in a privileged position to live on 1/2 of my earnings and it would be completely different to only have that amount to live on without health care, job security or being lucky enough to have a marketable skill that employers are willing to pay for. Also, biking to work is bullshit and I’m not doing it.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Stulexington

      Bottoms up?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Would that be those health care subsidies assholes like this are trying to do away with?

    • Serolf Divad

      I’d it wasn’t for the Democraps blocking Donald Trump’s miracle health plan, health insurance wood be free with no deductibles and come delivered on a free pony all wrapped up in a big, pink bow.

      • Left Coast Tom

        …and cover exactly nothing.

    • Lefty Wright

      Somehow, I don’t see a high deductible health insurance policy as being a lot of help to someone making $7.25 an hour. Paying $10,000 deductible before benefits kick in is useless.

      • h4rr4r

        For a serious medical issue you worry about that later and get your $200,000 worth of care now. The hospital will write that off.

      • Binkysbroad

        Obviously the person in this infographic is perfectly healthy and never gets hit by a car while commuting on her bike. Duh.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I have such a policy – of course, my employer pays into the linked HSA so it works well. So, yeah, no use whatsoever to someone making $7.25/hour.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Yeah, my health insurance with the $7K deductible is essentially worthless to me. I do not go to the doctor because I couldn’t afford the out of pocket anyway.

  • doktorzoom

    I work at home and refuse to bike to the living room from my bedroom. For one thing, the kitchen in between is far too small. (Seriously, it is smaller than a motor home kitchen.)

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s also hard to ride a bike without pants.

      • Bad Tom

        Not so much hard as very uncomfortable.

    • Left Coast Tom

      You could ride a unicycle!

  • pgjack

    The folks that put that article together must have been laughing their pot addled asses off.

  • Rasilom

    So uh, well how to say this? Oh I know Fuck these assholes. Like any of them have any idea what it is like.to be stuck in the minimum wage no job prospect trap.

  • Serolf Divad

    $15 an hour * 40 hours * 52 weeks equals just under $32,000. Not that that’s an argument for a $15.00 minimum wage, mind you. Wouldn’t want the plebes saving $270,903.88 after 10 years and demanding their country club memberships and vacation homes and such.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Current California law calls for raising the minimum to $15 over the next several years then inflation-indexing it. Of course, we’re one of those expensive places the poors are supposed to move away from.

  • WeaselPoo

    sell your car, buy a used bike, and…..learn to make money on the side by driving for Uber with the car you don’t have!

    Some fuckwit got paid $$$ for this clueless condescending shite

    • Serolf Divad

      The only explanation is that “driving for Uber” is a euphemism for “give blow jobs in back alleys.” Either that or “cook meth.”

      • mancityRed6

        why not both?

        • WeaselPoo

          Indeed!

      • WeaselPoo

        I think you may be right! Can you whip up an infographic by wednesday? I’ll pay you in many exposure Ameros!

  • Serai 1

    Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? It’s so simple.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNfGyIW7aHM

  • What is this bullshit? How do you magically find a place to live that’s less than $600 a month but includes all the utilities? I’ve seen one place like that in a lifetime of renting cheap dumps, and it was so infested with bugs that they were falling off the ceiling into our food. There are no acceptable places to live that are that cheap and include everything. Also, what if you have kids? How do you tote three kids around on a bike? Have you ever tried grocery shopping for a family of four on a bike? Who the fuck has the money to just move from expensive cities to cheap ones or from non-biking distance to biking distance if they aren’t already there? Moving costs a fortune. I can’t even get the rest of the way through the infographic because I’m so boggled by the first few steps.

    • Serolf Divad

      Wait… are you insinuating that if you move to Buffalo like they suggest you might have to spend a little money to heat your apartment in the winter?

      • Keith Taylor

        Just might. That could be a point. Hate to agree with drooling libtards, but …

      • mancityRed6

        your pipes can only freeze and burst once a year, that’s why you have renter’s insurance…oh, wait. they didn’t budget for that.

      • h4rr4r

        $50 a month, budget plan for heat in Buffalo for an apartment.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Ok, Theres tiny grain of truth here, like there is with all popular lies. I know families who have bootstrapped themselves out of poverty, including a Cambodian immigrant family with a son who is an MD, and a daughter in nursing school. In Hillbilly Elegy, the author couldn’t have done it without the support of his extended family.
    They did it by banding together, helping each other, and pooling resources. You don’t gain wealth by moving to a strange city by yourself and grinding away at a min wage job. You will be a flat tire or a parking ticket, or an illness away from disaster.

  • sundaytrucker

    Stupid poors. Why must you live in places where your labor is in demand? If only everyone without a job would move to a place where there are no jobs, everyone would be rich, It’s called economics, duh.

  • “Stop watching TV and go outside. You’re paying $600 a month or less with all utilities included, which means that you’re probably living in a neighborhood with no parks, sidewalks, or community centers, so basically you can stand in the road. But hey, if you get hit by a car, you may not have to worry about any of this anymore! Or you may survive and go bankrupt. Either way.”

    • h4rr4r

      Another time I get to point out how awesome Buffalo is. Olmsted parks FTW!

      • ahughes798

        And 80 feet of snow every winter!

        • h4rr4r

          3 inches at a time.

          Buffalo gets a lot of snow, but it melts off between falling so there is little at one time.

          I ran the snow blower 3 times this year. Global warming is good for Buffalo.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    O hai random business insider staff/freelance asshole.

    What’s that, you want to write an article about counting my money? Welp, I don’t even listen to my mother when she does that shit nowadays, so could you kindly please fuck off?

    Kthxbai

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/2f/ba/3d/2fba3dae3e7c24bf25ed38323ecafe2e.jpg

  • WeaselPoo

    Jeff DesJardins—the author of this tripe, is an asshole who I now hate more than Trump.

    • jowgajen

      So I got really curious about whether this was some sort of blown April Fool’s joke. It is not. Also he’s not the original author. It doesn’t look like he writes ANYTHING, he just repackages stuff he finds on other blogs or even commercial websites.

      Here is Desjardin’s apology for posting this on his site, the Visual Capitalist:
      https://twitter.com/VisualCap/status/848625966243082242

      I followed that breadcrumb to the original post. http://www.investmentzen.com/blog/how-to-build-wealth-on-minimum-wage/
      This is a website dedicated to trying to retire early.

      Of course we have it going from investment zen blog to visual capitalist blog to Business Insider. Who knows, maybe it came from the Russians before this?

      • WeaselPoo

        Well done tracking that down. The ‘apology’ still doesn’t excuse Desjardins from using the original , because he should know what he’s using—at least the original asshole put some effort into the graphics, whilst DesJardins I guess just cut and pasted, making him not just an asshole too, but a lazy asshole.

      • Stulexington

        We admit we didn’t make this graph now that it’s received such a negative impression. Also we admit we didn’t actually think about it before we put it up because what capitalist actually thinks about financial advice before parroting it?

      • Great research!

      • Left Coast Tom

        If only InvestZen weren’t such a poor he/she would be able to afford an intellectual property attorney.

  • Serolf Divad
    • WeaselPoo

      Aye!
      When I were t’lad, I didn’t wait around for some else to discriminate against me, I ‘d do it myself! Ooh I’ve shot myself in’t back just for being black—EVEN THOUGH I WERE WHITE— more times than kids these days have been molested by Catholic priests!

      • WeaselPoo

        Hmmm… I might regret that comment. Dammit!

  • Buying food in bulk only works when you can transport the food. Please show me how you transport Sam’s Club-style bulk boxes of food on a bike. It also only works when you can enough safe, hygienic space to store the food and the appliances you need to cook the food, which is often not the case when you live in a slum, which is where they’re suggesting you live when they say you need to be paying $600 a month with all utilities included.

    • WeaselPoo

      Actually, South East Asians seem to be able to transport up to entire households on their bikes.
      However buying food in bulk to save money still requires a proportional initial outlay ( and you have to have paid your membership fee of course) .

      The minimum wage earner can’t actually afford to buy in bulk to save money—there’s other stuff to pay for as well in the same time frame. .

    • h4rr4r

      Here in Buffalo $600 with utilities would not be in a slum, the bus would work but you would be making frequent smaller trips, the real issue would be not having the money to buy in bulk.

      • I’m not in one of the expensive cities, but not in one of the cheap ones, either — apparently none of the cheap cities are in my state. Theoretically, though, I’m in a place with a low cost of living. $600 a month in my city will mostly get you dumpy, bug-infested apartments where you can’t store dry food because the cockroaches will be crawling all over it, and a landlord who will take his or her sweet time about fixing your stove when it breaks, which it will, because it’s probably 40 years old. The one area I know where apartments in that price range actually include utilities was so bad when we lived there that cockroaches literally ate through the power cord to the refrigerator. I didn’t know that was possible. My landlady didn’t replace it for a month. Buying in bulk would have been insane in one of those places.

        • WeaselPoo

          Sounds about right. My last abode. at $800 a month ( incl heat and hot water, but not gas/electric) leaked at the chimney ( 6 square foot hole from water damage from ceiling down the wall) , and was infested with mice and those big ‘water beetles’—I personally killed sixty of each. I had a 1.4 cube foot fridge, and I had to hook up the stove and the kitchen sink faucet myself ( provided the faucet too).
          My extremely crazy drunk landlady put her head through the tiled bathroom wall–that never got fixed.

          • Gawd, the infestations alone in the cheap dumps I’ve lived in were enough to drive a person crazy. I guess you could get some cheap entertainment out of murdering German cockroaches, if you were into that sort of thing. At one point, all five of us were crammed into a one-room efficiency that had roaches, mice, and bedbugs for $200 a week. It was hell on earth. Do you know that living with bedbugs can cause PTSD? And that you can’t afford to get treatment for that when you’re living on minimum wage?

          • WeaselPoo

            I’ve never had to deal with bed bugs myself—thank Dog!

      • C4TWOMAN

        I currently live in a tiny granny flat, probably a bit smaller. It is however in a lovely neighborhood, with a great view. Bath is normal size for small apt, kitchenette has real range(4 burners, oven, but tiny). The only thing is I have to do my laundry at a friend’s place, but that’s where my work studio is anyway, so I’m there 3 days a week.

        So, it’s not bad. But I’m single and aggressively thrifty. These gems can be found but you have to hunt/wait for them. I lived with a friend for 2 years between places waiting for this opportunity.

        A lot of people don’t have that luxury.

    • David Chaillou

      My Romani friends build little trailers for their bikes. They use them to scavenge resellable metals that people put out on bulky waste collection days.

      Also, living in homemade cabins with no sanitary equipment costs far less than $600 a month. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/290f267b49d1d41f7d81eabf8a4234f89d4369674d70d9f85d2b83fb95815454.jpg

  • Left Coast Tom

    Oh come on, this is really simple!

    1) Find one of those magical unicorn apartments where electricity is included in the rent.
    2) Gut the interior and fill it with marijuana plants and grow lights.

    • h4rr4r

      My coworker has that kind of deal, he uses it for aquariums and the landlord charges him an overage each month.

    • Stulexington

      That falls under “invest in yourself.”

  • Iron Monkey

    Off the pig.

  • Ooh, this also assumes your minimum wage employer is giving you around 38-40 hours per week. Around here, most of them schedule you about 25-30 hours. But with an all over the place schedule that changes weekly, just so it’s impossible to fit in another job.

  • h4rr4r

    While I am happy to see Buffalo mentioned as an affordable city, with a much higher minimum wage, no you can’t live here on that.

    $600 a month will get you a modest apartment on the bus line though, and not even in a bad neighborhood!

    We are actually adding jobs and the city is growing, so long term prospects are not awful.

    • SullivanSt

      Buffalo’s employment growth rate is currently right in line with the national average. This is an improvement, but still represents a pretty disappointing return on the amount of money Gov. Cuomo’s sent up there.

      • h4rr4r

        For a fair comparison, try comparing Buffalo to rust belt cities.

        Cuomo is sending most of that money into his donor’s pockets. If the money was spent more wisely it would be a lot less.

  • tenya

    I mean, I sort of kind of did this when I first moved out of my parents house – I rented a small apartment for $300/month (this was 15 years ago) in a dying rust belt town, where I earned a whopping minimum wage of $5.15/hour, and I biked or walked or took the bus everywhere including to Costco to bulk buy, which really really sucked. (The grocery store EVENTUALLY gave me full time with benefits, but full time minimum wage work is not that common, more like 2-3 jobs to equal 40ish hours – if those hours don’t conflict). I was also a vegan because of ideals, so basically just ate beans and rice. Because of that, I had few friends, eliminating socializing as an expenditure. I did manage to save up enough for a whole semester of community college this way. Imagine if I’d only stuck to that plan, I could have spent my entire 20s trying to get through community college. ALAS!

    • ahughes798

      Did you apply for a PELL grant? That’s the only way I got through community college. It’s how I was able to afford the computer I’m typing on right now. Anyway, I hope you got through college, and living a much nicer life now!

  • Iron Monkey

    First move to a more affordable state. Amortize the cost of your move over the next five years. Discover you moved to a less desirable state with fewer free things for a net loss.

    Then move closer to you crap minimum wage job. Sell your car and buy a bike for the commute. Get laid off, find another crap job nearby. Rinse and repeat.

    Get laid off from your crap minimum wage job, get hired for a job that pays more and might actually have benefits but is too far away to commute by bike. Don’t accept job, get thrown off unemployment, starve.

    Wonder how fricassee of smug graphic artist tastes.

    • David Chaillou

      Move to a better country.

  • kaydenpat

    Sounds like a plan!! A plan for what, I don’t know but sounds like a plan.

    • WeaselPoo

      Yes it does. Let’s skip the feasibility part and just implement it! Fortune favors the bold! Seize the carp today!

  • jellysblues

    Better yet. Save money on rent and sleep outside or in bus station.

    • WeaselPoo

      I’ve had to sleep outside in 25 F degree weather. Strangely enough, I don’t recall feeling warmer because of all the money I was saving on rent. Go figure! :D

    • C4TWOMAN

      Sleep in bus shelters and save time commuting!

  • SullivanSt

    Assuming a 4% inflation adjusted return

    Wait, what?

    What minimum wage worker can put their savings somewhere where they get that rate of return? They need instant access because minimum wage jobs are never safe jobs, and for the same reason they can’t put that money at excessive risk.

    My wife and I have been fortunate to have had some money to invest in addition to cash savings and pension – in other words, money we can afford to lose – and it’s gotten about 3% inflation unadjusted over the time we’ve had it.

  • I think I could comment on the insanity of this forever. Like, I’ve been this poor and poorer, and most of this is ridiculous. “What to do with your free time”? You don’t have free time when you’re making 0-$14,000 a year. I spent most of my non-working, non-caretaking hours at that point trying to figure out how to get some damn laundry done. Because $600 a month apartments don’t come with washers and dryers, and laundrymats cost money (which is not in their budget, but then again, it never seemed to be in mine, either) and it’s hard to carry a whole family’s laundry on a bike (at one point, I was putting mine in an actual little red wagon and pulling that about 5 miles and over a bridge to the nearest laundrymat. But that was when it was just me and my oldest — it became less practical when I was doing laundry for me, my husband, and three kids.) Also, kids and laundrymats are a terrible combination, so you either have to find someone to watch them or take twice the time while you’re folding and chasing them around.

    I finally moved up to a class of apartment buildings that had a laundry room with washers and dryers about three years ago. That was a huge improvement. Early this year, we rented a townhome with our own washer and dryer inside the house — first time in my adult life that I’ve had that. I can’t stress enough how huge the difference is between having your own washer and dryer and having to use laundrymats. It is so much less of a time suck now. Also, laundry doesn’t build up because I can’t afford to do it anymore. And I pay less for water than I spent in a month on laundrymats.

    • WeaselPoo

      Real economics right there. And that’s just the laundry aspect.

      • Right — it’s really expensive to be poor. I mean, invest? A lot of minimum wage workers don’t even have bank accounts, so they have to pay some ridiculous amount to a bank/check cashing outfit/prepaid debit card provider just to access their paychecks. It just goes on and on.

        According to this year’s tax returns, my family is less than $2000 over the poverty line. So not exactly wealthy. But it’s a whole other world from when we were $10,000+ under the poverty line. An insanely easier and cheaper world.

        • WeaselPoo

          I earn $12.50 per hour, 28.5 hours a week. I am homeless (for 10 months now) . My brother is homeless ( same amount of time) and I support him on my wages.
          The only reason I can survive and regularly post here is that… well I am able to exploit the resources that are at my disposal due to me being quite clever—but if I lose my job, I will be seriously fucked, and so will my brother.
          It IS expensive to be poor—no credit, no savings from quantity purchases because those take money, necessary dollar-store products break in short order, food is at convenience-store prices, one has to save up for basic things that even living-wage earners can buy with little thought let alone anyone who earns enough to pay for a car and save for a vacation–however cheap..

          • Oh, that sucks so much, I’m sorry. We spent the better part of five years living in roach motels, with periods of crashing in the car, on family member’s couches, etc. I held on to my falling apart laptop and whatever internet connection I could find, and lucked out when an online friend who was working as a freelance writer started giving me some of her overflow work and showed me how to find my own writing work online. That kept us from living under a bridge, and eventually turned into enough of an income to get us into a stable living situation. And it got easier for my husband to find work once we had a fixed address and here we are. But it took years, and we’re still one catastrophe away from being back at square one, and so much of it was just luck. I didn’t even know that my current job was a job at the time — what if no one had told me? What if I’d listened to all those people who like to insist that poor people shouldn’t own anything fancy like a battered old laptop, and sold the thing for parts? What if I just hadn’t been any good at writing online? Even in our worst straits, I kept meeting people who were even worse off than we were because they didn’t have that little bit of good luck that we got, or they just had bad luck. And some of those were the nicest people you could meet. People living in shitty motels for months and years themselves, working at day labor or too sick or disabled to work in a lot of cases, but if there was a night when I didn’t have food for my kids, one of them would come up with a couple of ramen packs or something while people in my own family were lecturing me about bootstraps.

            It’s a fucked up world.

          • WeaselPoo

            See, that’s tough stuff. I didn’t have any kids to worry about.

    • jesus that’s gorgeous. this needs to be written up in the library of congress.

  • zeusspeaks

    Like the Horatio Alger stories of the past, the idea is to simply shame people for having no money, no decent job or real opportunity like those born with a golden shovel in their mouth. It is your fault, not an unfair unjust system designed to benefit those that have at the expense of the have-not. So, feel the shame of your failure and move along, there’s nothing to see here…

    • Tawnya Jarvis

      It is worse than that. In the last 60 years or so, it has become a sin defined by many Christian religions to be poor. “God likes me because I was born to a rich family” or “God made me rich”. This produces the other side of the coin: God hates you and made you poor, and you are a sinner for not being lucky. Most great wealth is a combination of lots of luck and timing, and sometimes a little skill. Poor people are being abused by Christians daily.

  • Tawnya Jarvis

    The problem with the entire GOP/TP approach to jobs and welfare is that there is no freedom or choice if you are really poor. Zero. Zip. If you want people to be good citizens and contribute, you have to support poor people until they have the jobs and skills to succeed. You cannot expect good results with minimum wage, either. Otherwise, you are only making more people turn to criminal and undesirable activity.

    • WeaselPoo

      Pretty much.

    • C4TWOMAN

      But…VALUES!

  • YOU. HAVE. GOT. TO. BE. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME. Is this left over from April fool’s day?

    • WeaselPoo

      Nope….down thread “jowjagen” traced the source ( just below the Monty P Yorkshiremen video.

  • Doug Langley

    As usual, Tom the Dancing Bug is ahead of us:

    https://thenib.com/introducing-the-plio-diet-77d3dce94098

    • WeaselPoo

      That’s good.

  • MongoJustPawn

    I. . .uh. . .I’m. . . uh. Fuck this. Now I need a martini. What a bunch of out of touch douchenozzles!

  • mfp

    wow…just…oh, just fuck these people

  • Relativicus

    They missed:

    -Rinse out your toilet paper for re-use.
    -Discarded lip balm containers often have small amounts of balm in them.
    -Combine pices of cut-up t-shirts, old dental floss, and used popsicle sticks to fashion homemade tampons.

    And my favorite:

    -Find a much higher paying job.

    • ahughes798

      Well, in my mom’s young woman hood, around 1933 or so, they used and washed and re-used old bedsheets and old cut up clothes for sanitary napkins, hence the term “on the rag.” P.S. That thing about using corn cobs for toilet paper…it’s true.

  • Binkysbroad

    Here in The Whale’s Vagina, $600/month gets you a muddy plot +trash & water. Snake bite kits not included.
    https://sandiego.craigslist.org/esd/apa/6073089032.html

  • SeeTrain65

    Dear Business Insider: A few things:

    Akron, OH is not located in Chillicothe, OH.
    Buffalo, NY is not located in Rochester, NY.
    And Detroit, MI is not located in Traverse City, MI.

    Glad I could help.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Detroit would probably like to be located in Traverse City, though.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Good catch.

    • Heather

      They’ve got Springfield, MO in the wrong place, too.

      • SeeTrain65

        They’ve probably mislabeled all of them. Those were just the three most obvious to me.

      • … but no one can tell where Springfield is! One minute The Simpsons can get to the beach, sometimes it is landlock…

        Oh, not that Springfield. Oops…

  • C4TWOMAN

    Food costs $75 a month? Yeah sure, if you want to be scrawny, weak, unhealthy and have no energy. I’ve lived like that when I was younger and could “bounce back”. I would never go back. To stay strong and fit, I need a minimum of 2,000 to 2500 calories per DAY. Plus supplements, beacuse I don’t have to time to make all perfectly balanced meals. Few people without “wives”(female or male) do. Once I calculated food costs: it was $200-$300/mo, assuming one was aggressively thrifty and grew some/most veggies and greens. That was 10 years ago, so….

    This is just more crap to convince people to kill themselves by trying to work to an impossible standard….

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Any poor person that reads this is going to think, Hmm, I wonder how much a DIY guillotine would cost? I’m going to save up for that.

    • C4TWOMAN

      You can probably get most of the wood in dumpsters near lumber yards. The rope’s pretty cheap. It’s the blade that’s the pricy bit.

      Mind, one could cut costs and make it a gallows….

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Gallows are too scoldy.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        You can learn forging skills on youtube!!

        • C4TWOMAN

          Good point! Then just buy scrap iron, nails, whatever…

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Pry fillings from discarded homeless people!

          • C4TWOMAN

            Viva la Revolucion!

        • BreakingDeadMen

          If you let the internet go, you can watch the vids at the library.

        • ahughes798

          I know lots about edible plants…I could help!

      • David Chaillou

        The guillotine was developed because the French wanted a more humane way of executing condemned criminals. Skip that. These guys deserve a painful death.

    • artem1s

      I’m betting you can get a really great deal on yarn at Madame DeFarge’s Crafts Store

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Dickens was an optimist.

  • it’ll be good when these people actually meet the godhead they profess to believe in.

    • C4TWOMAN

      This is why I don’t believe they believe in God. They lie to much, with too much frequency, to for realz think a supernatural being who has the power to send them to Hell forever, exists.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Black Sabbath wrote some really good songs about that in the ’70’s.

  • SeeTrain65

    Loving how easy it all is!

    Get a job!
    Move!
    Find a cheap place!
    Don’t enjoy anything!
    Don’t eat!
    Buy health insurance that may bankrupt you!
    Forget your tastes and buy someone else’s clothes!
    Invest all this fictional money you’ll have!
    Get three more jobs!
    Don’t sleep!
    Die peacefully!
    Sell your body for scientific experiments!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Also, don’t have kids. You didn’t want that contraception coverage, so just ignore the most fun free thing.

      • David Chaillou

        Sell the kids. Surrogacy is easy.

    • ahughes798

      I enjoy buying someone else’s clothes. Go to estate sales on Sundays when everything’s half off, or more. I went to an estate sales in Barrington Shores(very wealthy horse country)on a sunday, and I could have bought a closet full of Chanel, Versaci, Vera Wang, and other couture clothes, etc. for $30. They weren’t my size, of course. I should have bought them anyway and re-sold them on e-bay. I did buy a large box of artist’s watercolours and Kolinsky sable brushes for $8. So, while the rest of the article is condescending and clueless to the max, going to thrift stores and estate sales is a decent way to save money.

      • Here is the thing though;
        If you are working min wage you are ALREADY SHOPPING THRIFT.
        Trust me on this. You are not buying Haute Couture on min wage.
        This was the most condescending part to me, a poor, who shops at thrift.

        • ahughes798

          Actually, I make less than minimum wage, and do all my clothes shopping at yard sales. Thrift stores have gotten too expensive. The Couture thing I looked at, in hindsight, as a missed opportunity to make money, rather than something I would buy for myself.

        • I am all good with thrift and hand-me-downs (and forever grateful for my big, fertile family, because there have always been lots of nice free hand-me-down clothes floating around) but some things just have to be bought new. Unusual shapes and sizes, for example. My 17 year old has like size 15 feet. It’s hard to find his shoe size in a brand-new shoe store, let alone a thrift store. (Also, giant shoes are very fucking expensive, and giant feet wear out those shoes very fucking fast).

          • David Chaillou

            Mankind did without shoes for millions of years. Still does in many parts of the world. Stop acting like an entitled snowflake.

      • SeeTrain65

        Agreed, from a man wearing Goodwill-purchased cheapo Dockers.

  • But hey, I see Detroit is on the list of cities the poors are supposed to move to. You may be able to get a free house in Detroit if you’re a starving writer. http://www.writeahouse.com/#home They’ve given away three or four of them since 2013. See how easy it all is?

    • ahughes798

      Artists, also too. There’s another program where you can buy a house for $1, but you sign a contract to fix it up.

  • Tosca

    So you’re supposed to move to a place with cheap rent…which is ALSO within cycling distance of your work…

    …these people really are fuckwits, aren’t they?

    • SeeTrain65

      “Making all this work in the real world is your problem, pal.”

      • ahughes798

        Didn’t Mother Jones post a graphic that showed that there is no place in the entire US where you can live on $7.25 an hour?

        • SeeTrain65

          Wouldn’t be surprised. Business Insider seems to be of the opinion that all you need is more “gumption,” whatever the hell that is.

    • arensb

      Brought to you by the people who promised to increase spending and lower taxes.

  • How can you you tube DIY skillz if you have cut off all your access?
    *squint*
    And how are you going to move within bike distance if you are trying to get a flop for under 600?

    • WeaselPoo

      Offer to give the unicorn you are going to need, a blowjob, or meth. Duh!

      • oh well, the oldest profession is always a fall back I suppose.
        Also was wondering….75 per week on groceries? What about toothpaste, shampoo, lady products, deoderant, household cleaning items, a mop and a broom, a vacuum cleaner…
        Nope I have decided: Whoever wrote this lives in his mom’s basement.

        • arensb

          Tampons and toilet paper are washable, right?

        • Mom’s basement or not, this was written by someone who’s never had to worry about whether they could afford deodorant or bleach or toothpaste or toilet paper or lady products. It’s so, so easy to not think about those things when you haven’t had to worry about whether or not you can buy them.

        • ahughes798

          Buy some hotdogs, buns, and have a BYOB rent party! WOOT!

      • C4TWOMAN

        If I had access to a Unicorn, I’d bargin for something more radical-like a one way ticket to Middle-Earth, either post War of the Ring, or in the hey days of the Second age of Beleriand.

        No, it’s not going to last forever, but I’m a human and will unlikely live past 100-150, even in a land with elf magic health care.

        =^-^=

        • WeaselPoo

          Take me with you.

    • Dazza

      Where do the tools and raw materials come from for DIYing? I don’t know about you, but here in Oz you must exchange cash money for drills, sanders, paint, etc.

    • Stulexington

      Also noted below: how are you going to drive for Uber when you’ve sold your car.

  • WeaselPoo

    Steps to Building Wealth on Minimum Wage

    1 Find a work-site and trade sexual favors for a tarpaulin = $0
    2 Use your shoelaces to string up your tarpaulin close to where you work = $0
    3 Cancel your cable
    4 Don’t eat anyone out, unless they ‘pay’ you in something useful—like another tarpaulin which you can sell on craigslist
    5 Don’t eat anything not from a dumpster
    6 Don;t skip health insurance–buy generic Vapor Rub = $1.50, and take napkins for hygiene needs from Dunkin Donuts, McDonald’s etc. = $0
    7. Shop at thrift stores for dead D-Cell batteries you can use to throw at homeless bums from a safe distance to knock them senseless and acquire whatever they have.
    8. Set battery-stunned homeless person on fire, to save on heating bill
    9 Rediscover that the best things in life are free, and pay no attention to rich people who foolishly pay top dollar for the best things in life that aren’t free
    10. Save on food and hygiene costs by eating your own limbs, and then save on funeral costs by re-using plastic bags to contain what’s left of your body for municipal garbage collection ( Tuesdays and Fridays).

    • SeeTrain65

      Taking yourself out to the curb is the key to the whole thing.

      • WeaselPoo

        Don’t I know it! Also, no construction/demolition debris, that requires a special pickup which costs $

    • I myself am a lil disappoint they did not mention selling black market organs or eating possum pot pie to fill out your caloric needs.
      Also, whoever wrote this, veggies are more expensive than lots of meat products.

    • phoenix00

      …. and for everything else, there’s Mastercard.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Also, health care insurance subsidy? Byeeee!

  • Mr Sincere

    This may be the most patronizing,condescending piece of journalistic claptrap I have ever seen. I wonder how many of the writers of this rubbish actually have any real life experience with working minimum wage and “commuting on a used bicycle”.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Well, to be fair, it might be an unpaid intern who really lives such a debased life.

      • Mr Sincere

        Ha!

    • BreakingDeadMen

      You are a Swift one.

      • This thing made me that mad.
        Step 10 took a while but I had to redo a graph.
        A shitty graph.
        But lotsa colors.

    • Panika MCD

      depending on where you live, roadkill is a real option. we had moose when I was a tiny one and it was pretty much always roadmoose.

      • ThaagNasty

        I still rue the day I was on my way to Tuscaloosa and for srs there was a dead buck, fresh, in the road, and I could not stop and load that fucker into my trunk (hot day, long trip, fuck that). It was gone when I made the return trip back to Montgomery. I even have a freezer you can stuff 2 properly butchered steers into.

      • HorseChestnut

        Yeah, I’m also going to speak up for roadkill. The joke isn’t that people eat it, the joke is that some people have to.

      • And probably squirrel too.

        • Panika MCD

          no. but I know people who were poor enough to warrant that.

    • phoenix00

      “Road kill is free meat”

      As long as you don’t also become road kill trying to scrape said road kill off the road!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    What about buying a quarter pound and selling bags to your friends who have better jobs? Maybe I’m old fashioned, but that worked in my day.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Wait, you used to buy McDonald’s hamburgers and sell them to your friends? At what markup? Did they pay extra for fries and a mcflurry? Oh, maybe I’m missing it…

      • BreakingDeadMen

        My street name was Big Mac.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Maybe the whole thing is an elaborate Netflix ad.

  • arensb

    In step 4, where they tell you to cancel cable and just get Netflix or go outdoors, aren’t they also telling you to cancel your Internet access? That means that if you’re doing any freelance writing or coding to pick up some extra cash, or sending out resumes, you’re going to need to do that from the local library (if there’s still one within biking distance) or the local Starbucks. I don’t think they included the cost of lattes. Those cost, what, about the same as 40 minutes of work at minimum wage?
    Or maybe the horn of the housing unicorn doubles as a wifi hotspot.

    • I noted they listed Buffalo as one of their cheap cities. Hate to break it to them, but “bike to work” is not an option there for several months out of the year. A little thing called “enormous snowfall” sort of makes biking … impossible.

      • arensb

        Stupid entitled snowflakes with their safe spaces, not letting other people get to work…

      • jowgajen

        http://www.copenhagenize.com/2010/12/ultimate-bike-lane-snow-clearance.html

        In Copenhagen they clear the bike lanes before the streets after a snow. Perhaps our poor minimum wage earner can just leave and go to a civilized nation.

        • Bebecca

          shouldn’t we all?

      • thixotropic jerk

        Step 6c) replace bike tires with skis problem solved!

      • PattyJM

        My wife is from Buffalo. The tales she tells of snow storms and below zero temperatures … I shiver every time I think of that.

      • Stulexington

        but how else are you going to keep warm when you can’t afford to pay for heat?

    • JohnBull

      Yeah, like these assholes really support your local library.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “cancel cable and just get Netflix” … which comes to you via … what?
      McDonald’s has free Wi-Fi, but the boss ain’t gonna let you watch Netflix. Are you supposed to find a $600 apartment over a Starbucks?

    • “start a Macedonian Fake News site. Or write for Business Insider.”

      I’m dead. I died laughing.

      • I figured after this they were the same thing.
        Like synonyms.

    • NastyBossetti

      “Suicide hotlines are still free!”
      You are amazing.

  • tegrat

    protip: that high deductible insurance plan (for a mere $2K a year? who the fuck are they kidding? that’s like a minimed plan that covers NOTHING) will also bankrupt you should you make the mistake of becoming seriously sick, but let’s let that be the private insurance industry’s dirty little secret, OK kids?

  • arensb

    And finally, kids, always remember: the problem isn’t stagnant wages and rising costs. It’s that you’re just not trying hard enough.

    Hey, I’ve read Atlas Shrugged, so I know that people who work hard always get rich and never get sick and also develop angular features.

    • AngryWarthogBreath

      The most handsome metal faces, with those so-sexy expressions of perfect cruelty.

      • cats530

        It’s more likely the jug-eared face of Mr. Austerity himself…Paul Ryan.

  • FlownΩver

    Also, and most importantly –

    Don’t fuck. That kid the government will force you to have will blow the rest of this shit all to hell.

    • Little Doll

      reminds me of the insurance plan a former employer of mine had to PT employees. The amount you paid in each year? That was what you were allowed to use.

      Um, yeah.

      Fuckers.

    • Jesse

      A Jen B you are a goddamn hero for fixing all these infographics… now somebody needs to print them out, roll them up, and shove them right up the ass of whoever came up with them in the first place. Ben over, Business Insider!

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      A Jen B these are GENIUS. Please try to post them on the original article!!!

    • Also, “free time”? Many people I know that earn minimum wage (unless they’re teens…and not even then, always) often have to work multiple jobs in order to barely make ends meet accumulate wealth, so all that “free time” they are refering to must be the moments they are in the can. You know, “investing in themselves.”

  • mfp

    A Jen B is the interwebs winner of the day/week/month, and an early favorite for interwebs winner of all Space Time, and The Cosmos

    thanks, a jen b…fabulous

  • Panika MCD

    AS I READ PART I

    wait, I just found a place that’s $600 a month and got someone to sleep on my couch and use their panhandling cash to cover the utilities. now you want me to move again because you didn’t mention that I needed to move to a place within biking distance? in Amarillo? like Amarillo where there is hot as balls TX summers and also too ice storms in the winter?

    • HorseChestnut

      Also, biking in Detroit is completely safe and a great idea for everyone.

  • Panika MCD

    PART II

    what minimum wage hourly job requires me to have dinner with my boss? is this a new hazing ritual? or am I expected to do it because I am a lady and clearly the men are in charge so if I value my job at McDonalds in Amarillo, I had better push up my titties and be willing to go Dutch WITH MY BOSS?

    • Oh come on now. Who HASN’T split a package of Top Ramen with the big boss? It’s a workplace tradtion for all up and coming professionals (Business Insider PROTIP: Putting all the flavor packets on your boss’s side is a GREAT way to make an impression!)

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      According to Roger Ailes and Bill O’Really? that’s mandatory – at least for the wimmen wage slaves.

  • JohnBull

    Go back to college! Never mind the fact the assholes who wrote this crappy advice are also the same assholes in the state houses making college less affordable all the time, and that companies no longer pay for training.

    • cats530

      MAGA – Make Austerity Great Again!

  • CATMAN

    They left out one big expense–parenthood–so where is the advice on contraception or abortion? Or maybe not having sex? Whatever, pregnancy is an avoidable expense and you might miss a few days of work

    • freakishlypersistent

      Everyone knows the poors can’t afford sex kids..

    • dslindc

      Unless it’s for procreation, Republican Jesus says that you shouldn’t be using your swimsuit area for sex anyway. Budget $0.25 for an aspirin to hold between your knees!

    • cats530

      No slut pills for you. No abortion for you. No SNAP/TANF for any offspring. But you better keep on paying those taxes! That’s the GOP plan.

  • Brett Dupree

    If everyone moves to these poor cities then the rents will rise and it would be harder to even find a minimum wage job.

  • hvdv

    I think this is the very definition of adding insult to injury.

  • act_on_love

    If you’re working a minimum wage job, finding an affordable home with a short commute is almost impossible.

    • phoenix00

      Much less be able to afford the costs of moving there.

      • act_on_love

        That’s a great point. I’ve seen so many “If you don’t like it then move” comments over the years. But we literally can’t afford to move: saving up even enough for that elusive “safety cushion”, let alone to put a downpayment on a new place.

        Move away from our family, my friends, my job, because the cost-of-living where I grew up is astronomical. We’re paying $2400 for 2 br/2 ba in a reasonably nice neighborhood with a good school district. It’s taking everything we have just to stay here. When our kid graduates, we’ll have to do something different. It may involve selling our kidneys now that Trump is scrapping Pell grants.

    • kareemachan

      …that you’d want to live in, that is…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Pitch a tent behind the McDonald’s, next to the dumpsters.

  • wandajayne

    I’m not really certain, but I think this is why guillotines were invented.

    • Says you! That’s just another expense preventing you (yes, you)from being prosperous minimum-wage tycoon! Instead, use your own affordable creativity to utelize old discarded ginzu knives to fashion into your very old homemade bladed revolution device! Think of the savings!

      • cicatricella

        I’m sure that someone can Pinterest a way to hack salvaged pallets for this.

  • Oh my god! Theo from The Cosby Show is now writing for Business Insider! (Seriously, if you saw the first episode, you know what I’m talking about.)

  • Also, regarding step 8, that Internet access obviously pays for itself apparently (why didn’t anyone tell me?)

    • According to the chart, it is magically 400 dollars per year with I suppose phone.
      Which is weird, because even at 45 bucks per month that is still 540 per year

    • Kidneys4Sale

      I assume they think we should go landfill spelunking for old stacks of free AOL CD’s. Cuz bootstraps.

  • “And that’s why I support using my tax dollar investing in the community infrastructure to enable that ‘wealth building minimum-wage lifestyle’ and….wait what?”

  • NastyBossetti

    They never answered what wealth is. They only said it doesn’t equal mansions and private jets. First of all, that’s not how you answer a question about what something IS. Secondly, mansions and private jets CAN be wealth, so that’s not even a correct answer.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    There’s a reality show in here somewhere: take some financial “genius” (starting with the asshole who wrote this), and follow him around as he tries to live on minimum wage for a year.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’d watch that and I never watch reality shows.

    • iceweasels

      Read “Nickled and Dimed.” It’s already been done.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Driving for Uber is a way to make extra money, but only in this guy’s imagination. The reality is quite different: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/04/02/technology/uber-drivers-psychological-tricks.html
    Then again, all of reality is a bit different from this joker’s minimum wage paradise.
    I also love how the working poor can get 4% interest on their imaginary savings. What do they know that I don’t?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      How are you supposed to drive for Uber if you sold your car?

  • pstockholm

    This might well be the most offensive thing I’ve read in 12 months of very offensive things.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I knew my lack of opulence and riches were due to my inherent moral failings.

  • Jgb979

    Already at #3: if you can’t get rid of your average commute, you’re at 0 for the year (aka tough tits rural red staters)

    And all of this assumes a starving single person who can magically find an apartment in Kansas City Missouri for $600 per month.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yeah, when I got to the $600 apartment I would have been ROFLing if I knew they weren’t serious.

      • Michael Loraine

        The last time I paid 600/mo for rent was 1983.

        • Heather

          I paid $540/month for a 2BR in a rural Ohio town in 2003-2005. It wasn’t exactly luxury, but it was fine. I also could barely afford it making $30K after student loans, insurance, and a car payment because hello, rural Ohio.

      • Lily412

        A couple of years ago, I was paying $475/month for a one-bedroom. The walls were paper-thin, there was something gross and brown leaking from the ceiling INTO my kitchen light fixture, the carpet had multiple stains, including some sticky black crap that was totally unidentifiable. No washer hook-ups, but a laundry facility (pay-to-use) on site. It was a craphole. Not to mention in the middle of nowhere. 5 miles to the nearest business.

        *Almost literally; my friend accidentally put his hand right through the drywall just getting up off the floor

  • The person who drew this infographic was most likely a freelancer making less than minimum wage.

    I can get past #1, “Abandon your family and friends, move to a strange city where you don’t know anyone with no amenities in a right-to-work state with no minimum wage.”

    • cats530

      Either you become an apologist for the 0.001% or you can starve. Of course, you can always eat cake!

  • Bebecca

    They forgot obtaining wealth the old fashioned way-being born into it.

  • NastyBossetti

    Do these people think moving is free? If you can’t afford to live where you already are, how can you afford to pack up your shit and take it to a completely different place, where you have no job and no place to live? Do they know that you have to pay a deposit on a rental, on top of your first month’s rent? And that you have to fill out an application for an apartment, where they ask about your income?

    • TundraGrifter

      Look at the folks who packed up and moved to North Dakota to take advantage of the boom times and high wages there.

      • Alan Conceicao

        A) You sold your car. How are you getting to North Dakota?
        B) The infographic discussed low rent. “The boom times” of North Dakota came with a severe housing shortage and preposterously high cost of living.
        C) “The boom times” are effectively over because there is a glut of petroleum and its been over for nearly 2 years.

        • Heather

          I think that was the point of the comment. Now those people live in freaking ND with no job….

    • KK

      This is the one that annoys me the most. With what? All your spare cash? Not to mention security deposits, some utilities require deposits. And unless you’ve been grabbed by a headhunter, you’re not usually able to get a job interview when you can’t drive to the interview and spend a full day on a moment’s notice.

  • johnnyknj

    If it’s that plan or robbing convenience stores, I’m casing the local 7-11.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      If you are white, you probably won’t get killed and you may end up with a few months of three hots and a cot paid for by the 1%ers taxes. Taker!

  • Val Prism

    Step 1: Be born into wealth.
    Step 2: Mercilessly exploit the working class.

    Easy!

  • Michael AK

    Great tips, and right out of Borscht Belt schtick:
    “Doc! It hurts when I do this!”
    “Don’t DO that!”

  • TundraGrifter

    Or get a small loan ($1,000,000) from your Dad and start a real estate business. Count on him to bail you out several times along the way, of course. And to introduce you to the people who will make it possible for you to get the enterprise up and running.

  • Michael Loraine

    Yeah, this was easy to foresee. I knew all of this before I was born. Why didn’t I choose parents who were NY real estate sharks instead of aerospace engineers and retail managers? And why didn’t I become a hedge-fund manager rather than a system programmer for a major international credit card company (for 20 years)? If I had heeded all of the warning signs, then maybe I’d be rich, or at least have health care rather than working for minimum wage flipping burgers and hoping they don’t take away my MedicAid.

  • Zyxomma

    i live in one of the most walkable neighborhoods in the country, with great public transit. I cannot buy food in bulk — I have a little bitty apartment sized fridge, and no cabinets. I eat meat ZERO times a month, dairy ZERO times a month; I’ve been vegan for decades. SNAP is keeping food on my table. At my local Greenmarket, when I use $10 of my SNAP, I get a $2 coupon for fruit or veg. Even if I were to buy a Costco membership, how the fuck would I get groceries from east Harlem to the east village on the bus?

    I don’t have cable TV; I have cable internet so I can find a job. This is one of the most bullshit infographics I’ve ever seen.

    Luckily, my state enrolled in the ACA’s Medicaid expansion, and I have healthcare from United Health. Maybe Business Insider can tell me where to find a real job, since all the word processing at large firms is now done in Chennai.

    • Lara

      Yeah, they tell you to only have a bike, and then they tell you to buy groceries in bulk. How are you transporting those bulk purchases? (Let’s leave aside that if you live in a city within walking distance to work, you probably don’t live in walking/biking distance to a bulk grocery store. You may even live in a food desert, depending on your city.)

      Then they tell you to become an Uber driver on the side, apparently using the car you already sold to someone else.

  • GRH

    Ummm, they forgot that pissing on 5 Star Hotel beds for the 1% can be somewhat lucrative.

  • GRH

    Where’s my guillotine? I know it’s around here somewhere…hmmmm

  • cats530

    Austerity is good for us peasants! /s

    • Lara

      I like how they tell you to call a friend as one of the “free” activities, but don’t include a phone line or a cell phone in the yearly expenses. I guess maybe you’re supposed to steal someone’s phone?

      • MCLepus

        No, you use tin cans and string.

  • Vicious Babushka

    I wanted to read the comments at BusinessInsider but they won’t load the page unless I turn off my ad-blocker so they can serve me some bullshit ads, probably with malware (like Forbes does).

  • Mint Tea

    Glad the author of this article caught that Business insider advised the poor person to drive for Uber AFTER telling them to sell their car.

    Fucking disgusting.

  • RoniOh

    There’s no money allocated on there for me to have an internet service – so how am I supposed to see their dumb infographic to save my dumb self all that money?
    Betcha didn’t think of that one BusinessHeadInsiderYourOwnAsshole.

    • KK

      You’re not supposed to have internet access. You’re supposed to use that at the library.

      • Cheryl B

        Yes, but just yesterday our lovely community voted down a library proposition to improve same. Because ‘no new taxes.’ Kind of like “I’ve got mine, too bad about you.”

        • Oh ick. That sucks.

  • The thing that annoys me about the Mother Jones article about the McDonalds booklet is- they literally use ‘oh, this guy didn’t like the taste of the wrap, and that’s a major part of our article and is totally relevant, oh look these poor people have to have food we don’t like! Ha ha!’ as a part of their argument. The actual rest is absolutely good and makes sense, but that?

    • Lily412

      Sort of on-topic: I love food, and I’m willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money on something delicious (e.g. $30/lb. gourmet cheese), but I’m actually not terribly picky. I am not above eating black-eyed peas with a fork straight out of the can (usually out of pure laziness). Sometimes I wonder why more people aren’t also like this. Dignity? A better childhood? I dunno.

      • It is interesting to think about,isn’t it? I love paying extra to get extra nice food, too, but again I’m not too fussed, so long as it tastes nice and I don’t eat too unhealthily.

        I don’t have an answer as to why more people aren’t more like you describe yourself to be. Perhaps as the complexity of what cooks have to offer increases, so does the need in some to eat with a lot of reticence?

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    My mind is boggling in a way I can’t quite articulate. The level of fantastical cluelessness……. people suck.

  • felis

    $75/month for food? WHERE?

    • Lily412

      Good fucking question.

    • KK

      they didn’t meant supplementing from the local charitable food pantry.

    • katansi

      Like not even Ramen 10/$10 gets you three meals a day at that.

  • Nodrama4mama

    I also love how they tout cooking to save money & how ‘spices are your friend’ like setting up a kitchen is free.

    Unless you’re looting McDonalds for salt & pepper packets & Taco Bell for taco sauce I don’t know where free spices come from.

    • waspuppet

      I’m still digging the advice to sell your car and then make money driving for Uber.

      • Darrell Imaginarian

        And sell furniture on craiglist. Is that even a thing? Flipping craigslist furniture? But the bicycle thing shouldn’t be a problem. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA40QqNn-1U

        • katansi

          It is a thing but it is not a steady or good wage.

          • Darrell Imaginarian

            Pretty sure you need a car for that. How about selling drugs? Low overhead, turnkey, helps blot out the misery of your minimum wage job.

          • katansi

            Agree on that evaluation.

      • Cheryl Nelson

        Oh god, I didn’t even catch that!

        I do love that their advice for surviving on minimum wage includes “Just get a side job!”

    • Lily412

      When my apartment burned down and I had to replace everything, I spend almost $200 just replacing my spice cabinet and other basic stuff like oil, flour, rice and other stuff that sits in your cabinet that you don’t think about until you need it.

      • YourNameHere

        Setting up a new kitchen cost me a grand.

    • katansi

      Also like poor people don’t know this. Because none of us cook.

  • blarg

    Remember kids, only one bowl of watery gruel for you in the morning. None of this “please sir, can have more” shite.

  • Selena Marie Wilson
  • going4baroque
  • Nena

    Business Insider ran that article on April Fool’s Day. Just 2 days before that, they ran an article about how tough it can be to live on a $500k annual income. S’pose it was supposed to be a funny? Like, “Let’s troll poor folks! Won’t that be a hoot?!”

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    I like the final step: Now get a job that pays more than twice as much money, but still live like a railyard hobo and never get sick, go on vacation, or have children.

    • evergreendeadly

      Using the car you sold to drive for Uber is genius! And sell all your stuff! And that will somehow more than double your annual income!

    • Mark W. Schumann

      And you know what makes it hard to get a nicer job? Living like a railyard hobo. Consciously or not, employers pick up on class cues and discriminate against you if you don’t fit their implicit social profile.

  • This article wasn’t actually written for the poors. It’s written so the readers of Business Insider can believe that the poor decide to be poor. Otherwise, their politics would be unconscionable.

    • handyhippie65

      you took the words right out of my fingers.i wish everyone who read this article took that away from it.

  • (((Aron)))

    Vanguard Funds? HA!

    There’s a reason fund managers make big bucks: THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING.

    • AceTracer

      Vanguard funds aren’t managed, they’re tied to an index. That’s why they’re cheap.

      • (((Aron)))

        Exactly. And indexed funds almost never perform as well as actively managed funds.

        You’re more likely to get more bang for your buck as well. (Which is why I found the recommendation absurd.)

      • (((Aron)))

        With that said, if you’ve had a positive experience with Vanguard, so much the better! There’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all mutual fund.

    • Matt S

      The reason fund managers make big bucks is because they work with big bucks.

  • Cheryl Nelson

    Wow.

    So, yes, if YOU are healthy and can move to wherever is most convenient (not weighed down by a pesky family or social attachments), don’t care where you work as long as it’s full time and within biking distance of cheap housing, YOU, individually, can do this! There’s nothing stopping any one determined individual from following this path!

    But EVERYONE can’t do that. I don’t mean that in the sense of “some people are disabled”, though that’s also true. I mean, literally, 100% of the minimum wage work force cannot live in cheap cities in cheap housing biking distance from work. There’s not that much cheap housing. And, shockingly, some minimum wage jobs are still in expensive cities.

    I’m WILDLY ENTHUSIASTIC about ditching your car and biking to work, but even I admit that while ANY able-bodied person can do it, not EVERY able-bodied person can do it. Not without a serious redesign of our cities. And, one positive trade off of ditching your car and moving close to work is that you can now afford a more expensive apartment, thus making it easier to find something in your range. Yay! Unless you get very lucky, you can’t choose BOTH cheap AND close to work. Also, I don’t exactly associate low cost of living cities with the phrase “bike-friendly”.

    OR we could just RAISE MINIMUM WAGE.

  • James Yakura

    11. Instead of bread, eat cake.

  • finette

    I saw this before but just noticed they have Shreveport located approximately where Lake Charles is, e.g. 190 miles too far south.

    Anyway, I live in a highly “affordable” (poor) mid-sized city between Shreveport and Jackson. Miraculously I do pay less than $600 in rent…because my landlord hasn’t raised it since I moved in ten years ago. Current rate for the same unit is $680.

    This very “affordable” city has all of two public parks which are inconveniently located for most low-income residents, and streets that are so narrow and in such poor repair as to make biking hazardous.

    Also, Business Insider apparently can’t even fathom the idea of poor people having children, who come with their own set of expenses. I just have a dog. Terrible ROI in their view, I’m sure.

    • Lex Luthor

      Yeah, and they have Akron down by Chillicothe!

  • KK

    High-deductible insurance? While those give you lower monthly rates, if you need anything other than a flu shot, you’re pretty much fucked. High-deductible plans only work if you have the deductible in the bank and don’t need it for anything else.

    • onamission5

      I like how they expect you to spend more per month on insurance you can’t use than on food you literally need to survive.
      $75/mo provides more than enough calories to support riding one’s bike across town to work and back every day, right?

  • Lazy Media

    Somebody needs to round up the editor who assigned that smug piece of shit, and the writer who wrote it, and require them to spend the next year finding 40-hour-a-week jobs that are cycling distance from $600/month housing. If they ever find it, they will be required to haul their bulk groceries, after work, from the closest affordable supermarket to said housing in bike panniers fashioned from baling wire, spit and gumption.

    You know what’s super-affordable, poors? Romania! It’s, like really cheap; you should totally move there.

    • katansi

      Yeah I have to bike everywhere. It is not actually an ok thing to do compared to being able to use solid public transportation or your own car. If you want to be sweaty everywhere you go and take six times longer then biking is totally a great deal for you. And that’s in a bike “friendly” town in a state that supposedly encourages physical activity.

  • Matt S

    And another bit of good news, it’s totally free to move to a new city! Also, those low-cost apartments are eager to rent to you without first, last, and security deposit and with no job lined up, and jobs, especially minimum wage jobs, are eager to hire people who live out of state but say they plan to move there, as soon as they find a low-cost apartment. It’s all so easy!

    • John Jingle

      Well hold on I would challenge that a little. Moving costs are highly variable. Ask any woman who has had to move very quickly to get away from a dangerous situation, and you’ll know you can move awfully cheaply if you have to.

      You can couch surf temporarily in many areas and there are many places looking for workers immediately especially in the lower cost cities. Those who live in a shared space often don’t require first and last or a security deposit.

      The article doesn’t say it’s easy but I completely reject the idea that it’s impossible.

      In the end the article was aimed at all working people. The majority of Americans don’t manage their money very well and end up consuming money that they could invest or use to pay off high cost debt and that includes even people at the bottom of the wage scale.

      The choice is very simple. You can rant and rave about how evil corporations and rich people are. Or you can do things to better manage your money and time. You might find comfort in the former reading articles like the one above and loads of people to sneer at and mock the writers. But in the end, it won’t help.

      • Beth Hamon

        Good luck couch-surfing if you have a chronic illness that makes you too sick to work full-time and too healthy to file for disability.
        Or if you’re over 50.
        The vagabond life works if you’re young, child-free and robustly healthy.
        Until it doesn’t work anymore.
        Even if this was an April Fool’s joke, it’s a cruel one.

        • John Jingle

          Beth I am sorry for your situation but I don’t see how calling out articles like this one help. It’s not an article for every situation obviously, but it is an article for many.

          As for disability, my wife went through the process and it is very difficult. Most people are rejected on the first round unless they are on death’s door. People with chronic illnesses are usually the people who get in on the second round so long as they have the backing of a doctor.

  • katansi

    I think the best part of this is this article doesn’t appear on the BI facebook page OR the pages of original poster, Visual Capitalist. Probably because he realized he was a fucking asshole and/or must have been high when he wrote it.

    • KCS

      No, because it was an April Fools joke. Tasteless and not very funny, but nonintentional, all the same.

      • katansi

        I wish that made it better.

  • Andrea Cardinal

    “If you can increase your earnings to a ‘modest’ $32,000, you could become financially independent in just 10 years.”

    Where to begin with that final statement! Firstly, $32k is literally more than twice minimum wage (again all gross, not net, after taxes.)

    So if you can *manage* to double your wages, it will still take you TEN YEARS to become financially independent. In those intervening TEN YEARS, DO NOT: get sick, have children, suffer any kind of financial setback, incur student loans (how’d you manage to get skills to double your income? pell grants don’t exist anymore homie. and neither will federally funded programs to get people back to work), your rent cannot go up, inflation cannot exist, and don’t you dare buy yourself a coffee.

    • onamission5

      You doubled your income by getting a second full time minimum wage job of course. Sleep is for the rich.

    • Lily412

      Fucking seriously. I’ve been in my job almost five years, had a small raise every year, and still barely scrape that figure. And I have a degree. People with a high school education would have a much harder time getting a job close to $32k a year.

  • Megan Toohey

    Is this possibly an April Fools joke?

  • Mateo

    It’s so easy you guys! Just work your ass off for shit pay and save. all. the money.
    Never mind the fact that you must have the agency to move to certain places, or afford to pick up and leave to another city. And forget that you may be tied to places for reasons other than finance!
    It’s so easy! Just don’t spend, save every damn dime and then you’ll be $$$$ wealthy!!
    Don’t g et sick, don’t have kids, don’t pay too much for rent (live in a shithole, it’s totes OK!)
    Fuck the hell right off, Business Insider. This is so damn tonedeaf it can apply for disability benefits.

    Seriously though- as someone who has worked a minimum wage job recently I can tell you that people try to save, but it doesn’t work that well. Yes, this is one of the major cities in the US but people don’t have the ability to just pick up and leave. That takes saving money, in order to move and save more money. It’s easy to make claims when you don’t know how people like thatl ive, or how difficult it really is to save.

  • Jennifer Smith

    So, it suggests Netflix in place pf cable and says to call your friends on the phone for free. How you going to do that without internet, which this “savings” plan doesn’t even mention, nor does it mention paying for a phone. And buy in bulk? On minimum wage? Are they cracked? Sure, if that’s all I wanted to be able to eat until next payday…

  • Mateo

    So, I have a better proposal- eat the rich.

    • Lily412

      Rush Limbaugh is beautifully marbled. You could probably get a good filet off of him.

  • Angie Brunk

    So, I guess the poors are supposed to watch their netflix at the public library that the Republicans are in the process of gutting.

  • Erin Lale

    April Fools. Calm down, folks, and look at the date on the original graphic. This was supposed to be a parody of clueless businessmen, not serious advice.

    • Lily412

      That’s really unlikely. The infographic isn’t even from Business Insider–they pulled it from InvestmentZen.com. Plus, the article cites sources at the end, which means the author did actual work and research. The tone of the piece also does not suggest a joke. I seriously doubt that these two websites colluded to make an article, with sources, that they must have known would piss off readers this badly.

  • Andrea Cardinal
    • Marry me.

    • LiberalAria

      Seriously. That was GOLD. You are brilliant. [bows]

  • Atheisaur

    or, in other words, Change YOUR existence so I can make more money in a month than I’d ever need in a lifetime.

  • Gregory Pruett

    joke or not, you still have to tighten your belt. when i was making minimum wage I had to live with roommates. It’s shit, but you do what you have to do. Destroying the rich won’t help either.

    • Conuly

      Nobody wants to “destroy the rich”. We want them to pay their fair share.

      • j.lup

        I want the rich to do more than pay their fare share. I want them to pay the employees who work for them and whose labour actually creates wealth their fair share.

        • Conuly

          Yes, I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear :)

    • Matthew Ostergren

      Eat the rich.

  • javadavis

    If I had a side business, say selling furniture on Craigslist, that brought in 16,000 per year I might not need my 14,000 per annum shitty minimum wage job, just a seasonal gig and maybe another side job to make up a bit of slack.

  • j.lup

    I love that Step 10 for “Building wealth while on minimum wage,” is to magically increase your income to more than twice the minimum wage.

  • nightmoth

    No snark—7 & 8 are good advice for everybody. I love shopping thrift stores, repairing instead of junking something, and cliche or not, the best things in life are cheap or free. I’d rather play with my dogs than spend $15 for a blockbuster movie.

    • Yes, but telling someone that they HAVE to is a dick move.

      • EchoGirl

        It’s also problematic to assume that someone living at or below the poverty line doesn’t already do this. Much of this advice is based on the assumption that people in poverty are dropping money on “frills” and don’t know that they should just be buying everything cheap!

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Honestly, this looks like something from The Onion.
    And I’m wondering…if all the minimum wage workers are supposed to move out of NYC and SF just who the fuck is supposed to replace them? Are all the businesses who pay min wage going to go out of business?

Previous articleDemocrats Filibuster Gorsuch, Hooray! Also, Senate Doomed, So There’s That.
Next articleEverybody Hates Donald Trump, Even Stupid White Men