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Bonus quote: 'Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.' -- Tiger Woods
‘To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.’ — P.G. Wodehouse

OK, you filthy liberals giggling over how Donald Trump has been golfing like crazy since taking office, let’s get this straight: Donald Trump’s golfing is a lot different from Barack Obama’s golfing, because Donald Trump is a much better president than the fake Kenyan socialist he replaced, and when Barack Obama played golf he was wasting time, while when Donald Trump plays golf, it’s always with the Japanese prime minister that one time. Totally different thing.

Trump seems to have forgotten all the nasty things he said about Barack Obama wasting his time golfing instead of presidenting. You know, like the tweets:

And also too the campaign speeches!

“I’m going to be working for you. I’m not going to have time to go play golf,” he said in Virginia last August. Obama has “played more golf than most people on the PGA Tour,” he said on the day before the election in New Hampshire. “What is it, over 300 rounds? Hey, look, it’s good. Golf is fine. But always play with leaders of countries and people that can help us! Don’t play with your friends all the time.”

You are no doubt astonished, then, that Donald Trump has spent an astonishing amount of time during the first couple months of his presidency golfing — at least ten golfing outings so far, which is on a pace to surpass the amount of time Barack Obama spent golfing. The White House is even trying to hide his golfing already — on February 19, Trump’s press team said he’d gone out to hit a couple balls, but then “publicists for golfer Rory McIlroy announced that the Irish golfer had joined Trump for 18 holes,” notes the Washington Post. (The official word last Saturday was also that Trump “may have stepped out to hit a few balls,” so let’s assume that was a full 18 holes, too.)

So it should have been no surprise when Yahoo reporter Hunter Walker had to go and bring it up at Monday’s White House presser, asking, “In his first eight weeks in office, President Trump has made at least 10 trips to the golf course. He regularly used to criticize President Obama for spending time on the course. How is his golf game any different?”

Well! Sean Spicer explained exactly why Donald Trump makes America-golf great again, by always golfing with Prime Minister Abe on February 12:

Well, I think two things. One is I think you saw him utilize this as an opportunity with Prime Minister Abe to help foster deeper relationships in Southeast Asia — in Asia, rather, and have a growing relationship that’s going to help U.S. interests. How you use the game of golf is something that he’s talked about.

Secondly, he had a mini-Cabinet meeting two weekends ago down at his club in Virginia, and I remember so many people jumping to the conclusion that he’s going down and playing golf. Just because you go somewhere doesn’t necessarily mean you did it. So on a couple of occasions, he’s actually conducted meetings there, he’s actually had phone calls. So just because he heads there, it doesn’t mean that that’s what’s happening.

You know, it almost looks like Spicer is putting a lot of weight on that one meeting Trump had with Abe, out of ten golf outings so far.

In a follow-up, Walker asked why, if Trump is doing all this golfing with the Japanese prime minister every time he golfs, we don’t get more information on these terrific meetings he’s having, much less an explanation of why Shinzo Abe is flying to Florida almost every weekend. Spicer explained it’s really none of our business:

“It’s the same reason that he can have dinner or lunch with somebody and not. … The president’s entitled to a bit of privacy at some point,” Spicer said. “Which is what we’ve always agreed to: We bring the protective pool to be there but the president’s also entitled to a bit of privacy as well.”

So there you have it: Donald Trump does important business with Japan’s prime minister once (and he’ll probably golf with Chinese President Xi Jinping in April), so golf is, for Trump, one of his many ways of working, the man works all the time, so much he doesn’t have time to read books, even. But Barack Obama? He was only loafing around on the golf course with his worthless marijuana friends while America burned to the ground. Oh, and once with John Boehner, who may have been worse than the marijuana friends.

Never Again! Golf for America, not your own brutish lazy leisure purposes.

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and we depend on your generous donations to keep us in the green, but not on it. Please click the “Donate” bar below, and don’t forget to wash your balls.

[WaPo / Salon]

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  • Bill D. Burger
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      trump lies about his golf scores….

    • boyblue122

      Holy waistline

      • DerpyGurdyMan

        comma FatMan !

    • OneYieldRegular

      He looks like he’s trying to reel in a golfball, not hit one.

      • DerpyGurdyMan

        Fishing and Golfing at the same time saves taxpayers yooge money

    • SpideySenser

      Someone call “Save the Whales”. We’ve got one beached and flailing somewhere in NJ.

      • DerpyGurdyMan

        hey, look, its Bigly Dick !

        • DerpyGurdyMan

          The Great White Whiff

    • therblig

      what a tiny, dimpled ball…and that titleist too.

  • dslindc
    • Creepoman

      He’s just calling a spade a spade.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    If it’s not such a big gawddamned deal that he’s playing golf in the name of freedumb, then why all the secrecy? Trump loves seeing himself on the teevee. If he’s passing up that chance, it isn’t because he’s golfing for America.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Full disclosure of secrets? What do you think this is, the banquet room at Mar-a-Lago?!

    • Michael Smith

      Well, for one thing he looks like a moron when he swings the club because he’s an old man who is in bad shape.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Swirlies and wedgies for Rory McIlroy! Hell… swirlies and wedgies all around!!1!

  • memzilla Ω

    Donald Trump is so crooked that he needs servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. [h/t Dr. Hunter S. Thompson]

  • SpideySenser

    “he’s actually had phone calls” …
    BFD, I’ve had actual phone calls, too.

  • Michael Smith

    Well, the reason that Trump made fun of Obama for golfing so much, and is now golfing all the time instead of doing the job of being President, is that Trump didn’t think in his wildest dreams that he was going to win, and he was hoping to spend his 70’s mostly golfing.

  • elviouslyqueer

    *points at first picture*

    A less charitable person would probably say that someone needs to harpoon that great white whale.

    Oh, wait.

    • yyyaz

      And white wailers everywhere blubber, “but, but Benghazi!”

    • SpideySenser

      Calling Ishmael

  • OneYieldRegular

    So just who are these mystery people with whom Trump golfs? Aaaaand, take it away Wonkette Commentariat.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      The Russian Red Army Choir?

    • Michael Smith

      Probably the same people he brings to press conferences to laugh at his jokes.

    • boyblue122

      He golfs with Kim Jong Un and they both completed the course in one shot. The golf balls they hit bounced from the cup of one hole into the cup of the next hole until the entire course was completed

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Rory McIlroy: “Fuck no, I don’t support him. I just played golf with him.”
      https://twitter.com/McIlroyRory/status/835227511126622209

      • therblig

        i don’t know wether he’s a facist or a bigot. but asshole seems appropriate.

        • Jim Johnson

          This asshole is a bigoted fascist.
          Among other fails…

      • HogeyeGrex

        Like the WH said about Gorka’s Nazi pals,

        “Sharing a room w Helen Keller does not make 1 blind; sharing a subway car w Albert Einstein does not make 1 a genius.”

      • Trump could never be as eloquent as that, for sure.

    • willi0000000

      people who can’t count higher than three?

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Thank gawd’ I brought an extra Super Gulp or I’d never make it back to the fairway. ”

    http://i.imgur.com/tXeFzkFl.jpg

    • DerpyGurdyMan

      Good thing we Repealed and Replaced Meals on Wheels with Happy Meals on Fairways

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That’s actually not a hill, the camera is tilted. Big old Barrell-Ass was too embarrassed to admit he got tired walking the first hole.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      “Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here!!”

    • Rok E Raccoon

      Risking injury, self proclaimed billionaire wastes twenty minutes searching for a $3.00 golf ball. Pissed off playing partners vow to never golf with him again.

  • Chadwells
  • Bill D. Burger

    “Hon, drop me off at the 1st hole. I can do another 9 before sundown.”

    http://i.imgur.com/LzhsdJBl.jpg

  • elviouslyqueer
    • dslindc

      Indeed. You really can’t fix stupid.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You can…but it takes a fully automatic “Vote-Hammer”, with full metal jacket votes.

    • yyyaz

      Generation Faux News on full display.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      So it’s ok for a foreign power to subvert elections to get the result that a minority of voters like.

      Got it.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Today in “Well, better late, than fuckin’ never, I reckon.” News!

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141734142

    SCOTUS cock-blocks turmps pussy-grabbin’ powers…or something…

    Just read it.

  • JMP

    Look, golf is a white man’s game, therefore Obama was being uppity in playing it but it’s OK for Donald to do more than once a week.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Such determination! Took a tumble trying to grab a pussy during the tournament.

    http://i.imgur.com/EkDfDf7l.png

  • Vecchioivan
  • therblig

    jeez, we finally have a president who’s not afraid to exercise in public and you make fun of him…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b1045152b2d1f830e38cf1e1671d3d0e4247eac5d10f42a7f09beb8abba09a89.jpg

    • Belasaurius

      I normally don’t fat shame, but……..

      • Bill D. Burger

        He’s just protecting his six-pack with a thick layer of fat.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sad…
        He’s got a severe case of Dunlap Disease.

        • mardam422

          Well, it wouldn’t be so bad if his swing weren’t so far parallel at the top.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            trump lies about his golf scores…

    • aureolaborealis

      Shopped. Trump wears his belt up over his belly, like Tweedle Dee.

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Tennieldumdee.jpg

  • memzilla Ω
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    What a duffer! The Royal and Ancient shall hear of this, sir!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Obama has admitted he spends his mornings watching @ESPN

    Still a better news source than FOX FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3259053438028050480ac80374395ccb3ab8ef9ac06fbe948ddc6c4d07745263.jpg

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “Infromation” involves a stick up the ass, doesn’t it?…

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I parsed it as a head stuffed full of cheese…

      • SmokinGood

        Sorry, I tried my to come up with some snarky combination of latin and greek stems to give meaning to this bullcrap, but alas, this one was too fucking dumb to succumb to even that treatment.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I thought it was information out of human normal information range, like infrared light.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • tapp_my_wire,please

      As opposed to Fox, ESPN actually features black people in a positive light

    • God Bless Amercia!

    • aureolaborealis

      But also managed to make it to a daily intelligence briefing or two. (And somehow managed to not base all of his decisions on what he saw on the teevees.)

  • chicken thief

    From the happy go lucky attitude of Retired Boner, I wouldn’t be so quick to line him off the list of Obummer’s mari-jew-wanna amigos.

  • Chadwells
    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Is it really worth it Melania?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        “No, but you should see how brutal that pre-nup is!”

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Prenups usually have a kick-out clause. You have to stay married a certain amount of time to get your bennies. I’m guessing 15-years on this one, since she’s still there. Thinking he didn’t kick her to the curb 3 years ago because of the impending campaign. Not good optics to kick out your wife and 7-year old child just before running for Pres.

          • Lizzietish81

            Meh, his constituents would still have voted for him.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Melania’s by herself in NY now, with her son… and just maybe, a special friend who drops by some evenings

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          some shirtless Rushian feller?…

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          Alec Baldwin is in the neighborhood?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Vodka?

          • Shucky Ducky

            Oh man, I’m going to be SO MAD if I find that vodka is stepping out behind my back with that dirty tramp.

      • BearGHAZI

        No one else can maintain her diet of pure diamonds

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      And I’ve lost my appetite for lunch. I might finally hit my goal weight if Donald keeps this up!

    • dxyseilc of the rstesinace
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Is he smuggling a watermelon under that shirt for later snacking?

    • Nounverb911

      How far along is he?

      • Oblios_Cap

        I thought his daughter was having the kid.

        • Nounverb911

          Eric’s having the baby….

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      He brought his bowling ball to the links just in case he felt like rolling a few frames later.

    • jesuswasablack
    • arglebargle

      Suck it in or name it.

      • Shibusa

        Vladimir has a nice ring to it.

    • Commenter ‘Wet Mount’ is right. That’s the body of golfer John Daly.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54daf1448f54f15a43edf3751c7f6ca365b8e5f852b8a6b1de0e689008f3fa63.jpg

      • aureolaborealis

        True. Trump wears his belt up over his gut, presumably to minimize it. Daly, being the glorious motherfucker that he is, just lets it ride.

    • mailman27

      He’s no Hasselhoff.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So just because he heads there, it doesn’t mean that that’s what’s happening.

    “He took a phone call and sat down to talk with someone! He wasn’t just hitting balls!! HE WAS PRODUCTIVE, DAMMIT!!!”

  • memzilla Ω

    Now that Dolt 45 has gone golfing ONE OUT OF EVERY SIX DAYS IN OFFICE, here’s the Cliff Notes on Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer’s excuses:
    1. Trump uses golf to foster deeper relationships.
    2. Also, just because he’s at a golf course doesn’t mean he’s golfing.
    3. Also? It’s none of your business.
    4. Also too, he’s not GWB (golfing while black).

  • Lance Thrustwell

    After the last hole, Trump walked off the 18th green, handed his putter to the caddie and said, “Kid, you’ve got to be the worst caddie in the world.”

    The caddie replied, “Sir, that would be too much of a coincidence.”

  • Chyron HR

    Uh, hello? Donald’s not white, he’s orange. Checkmate, libturds.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      HBO even has a show about it! Orange is the new black.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Aaaaaany hoo…

    Back to Roosha gate.

    Yet another dirty tricked played on the DNC by the Kremlin.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028826118

    • Vecchioivan

      Right out of the KGB playbook.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Da, comrade.

        I mean…Yes! Friend!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          That would be Droog…

  • Chadwells

    Or you could have used any of these! Just make sure you properly convey his fat fuck physique next time, dang it!!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/71131d16f9308a3feb375b31c158c434b7bd0d58491b7e42049b5c8a253dc9f9.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Baby Screwy.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      Just stop tucking your shirt in already. I’d recommend a generously sized aloha shirt.

      • Oblios_Cap

        a Muumuu, maybe.

      • Chadwells

        Tommy Bahama…LOL!! That reminds me of Family Guy…

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I’m not making fun of him being fat, just being fat AND claiming to be the fittest healthiest man ever to run for president.

      And he’s got a receding mullet – that’s a fucking abomination.

      • MizzMazz

        And big strong hands, and thick strong skin, don’t forget about that.

      • cmd resistor

        And calling other people fat pigs.

      • Chadwells

        Deal! I generally frown upon fat shaming anyone…except for him!! And KaC…I’ll call her meth face for ever.

    • chicken thief

      That middle one must be a mirror. Trump, in all the other photos, plays right handed – the middle one is of a lefty fer sure. Not that it makes him look any slimmer or agile….

      • Chadwells

        Follow the glove hand….

      • HogeyeGrex

        I think the whole thing is reversed. Hat lettering and shirt insignia compared to the OP pic. Belt tail, club face in third pic, etc.

    • The Witch of Endor
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Donny in the weeds again, huh. You could almost make a metaphor out of that.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I though Dom Deluise was dead

    • gamera23

      Not like handsome and fit Obama who pays all the greatest taxes ever.

    • Yr. Gma

      He really does have the most enormous butt. It’s unnatural.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    It’s not just the the roughly 28% of the time he’s been “in office” spent on vacation that rankles (and come on, he’s not working very hard there), but it’s the really unnecessary waste of taxpayer money for his own comfort and desires. Trump is President Tightwad with his money but a spendthrift with yours It’s amazing that this tinpot dictator still has his ardent supporters, and all of them calling themselves “patriots.” Way to put blind allegiance to your shitty leader over country, folks.

  • Wait the president is entitled to some private time???
    *eyes those tweets again* you sure about that, spicy?

  • Nounverb911

    When does donnie tell the farmers he’s cutting their subsidies?
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/844250273740738562

    • boyblue122

      he doesnt then when the subsidies are gone he blames Obama

    • MizzMazz

      Like this?

  • Yellow_Dog_Dem

    I’m more disturbed by the comment that he deserves some privacy. No, you stupid fat fuck, you work for us and your golf outings are paid for by us so I want to see the fucking score card and know how many rounds you played, who you played with and how much you cheated. Asshole.

    • “I shot 19 holes in one on my first try….”

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Says a yet-to-be-named CIA agent, sometime in 2018?

      • Pilotshark

        well i did have 18 shots at the 19th hole, if that counts.

        • Virginiadsoper

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj609d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !mj609d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash609HomeCloudGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj609d:….,….

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’m OK with his having some privacy when he makes sexxxy times on Melon.

  • boyblue122

    Since Spicer doesnt take those pressers seriously I would ask ridiculous questions if i had a press credential.

    Questions such as:

    “I heard Drumpf hit 18 consecutive holes in one today while golfing. Is this true?”

    “I hear Drumpf is a better golfer than (insert best golfer in the world here). Can you confirm this”

    Anything to poke fun with looking like im asking a question.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • boyblue122

        hahaha

      • Lance Thrustwell

        “What are your hobbies?”
        “Strangling animals, golf, and masturbating.”

        • The Wanderer

          “He might have let himself down a bit with the hobbies. Golf’s not very popular around here.”

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Wrong thread, but Sen. Whitehouse (D) is doing a nice grilling of Gorsuch on dark money, similar items.

  • Nounverb911
    • snark-lurker

      oh dog vote me in the head

  • Nounverb911
    • boyblue122

      Donnie never hits golf balls in the rough. fake photo

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        “What rough? My ball was squarely on the fairway, look–here it is!”

    • chicken thief

      It can be done if the ball is sitting up just a little. And of course, his ball would be…

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      “Yeah, go ahead ya cunt, yer ball is HERE, not on the fairway.”

    • The Wanderer

      So, like Liberace, he “putts from the rough?”

  • Nounverb911
    • WotsAllThisThen

      That must be his secret plan to defeat ISIS.

    • How many times did Dampnut try to grab that dude by the pussy before someone finally convinced him it was a man?

  • jesuswasablack

    Everyone know nigga’s don’t golf just out there shuckin and jivein!
    http://media.salon.com/2013/04/confederate_golf.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney

    LOL

    Teh turmp throws down the gauntlet…er…golf glove to house GOTP…repeal ACA or lose your seat.
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/03/trump-threatens-house-republicans-repeal

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump: “Oh yeah. She wants me to grab it. Why wouldn’t she?”

      (*By the way. THIS is the most international experience with foreign affairs Trump has ever had. ___ excluding his marriages, of course.)

    • MynameisBlarney

      He looks like someones poor attempt at dressing a potato on short notice.

      • chicken thief

        I was just thinking that he either only has one (really fucking ugly) set of golf attire or every shot of him golfing was taken on one day.

      • NastyBossetti

        Accurate.

    • chicken thief

      He can’t help himself. I mean, can you imagine how good Ivanka would look in those shoes?

    • boyblue122

      Looks like President Skroob from Spaceballs after he gets teleported backwards

      • The Wanderer

        “Why didn’t anyone tell me my butt was so big?”

    • Shibusa

      I like her Spiked Green-Aerator Shoes.

    • As a woman I find it ridiculous to imagine Trump with a sex drive. I can smell his impotence from here. He’s the most unsexual president we’ve ever had, that includes FDR. He was, and probably is still on hair unbalder and prostate helper outer medicine that killed the f*ck out of his libido.
      Melania, we girls who have real men, know just how truly f*cked you are.

    • magyar of infinite power

      I hate myself for noticing, but that much camel-toe isn’t comfortable.

  • chicken thief

    Whatever they pay the WHPS it ain’t enough. What’s the over/under for how long it takes for Sean to start giggling after he attempts to spread some particularly good bullshit?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Seeing all of these pics of Trump in golfing regalia, I see why he doesn’t take off his jacket.

  • gamera23

    Every third hole is a Hypocrisy Hole.

  • BearGHAZI

    Stupid game, should be illegal

    • MynameisBlarney

      Or…make the hazards actually hazardous.
      And claymores…lots and lots of claymores.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        How about some REAL sand traps? Huh?

        • The Wanderer

          Quicksand?

          • Nockular cavity

            Sarlacc pit.

          • The Wanderer

            Hmm! Yes, the sport would be enlivened by the addition of a tentacle beast or two.

      • The Wanderer

        “The third hole is Par 5, dogleg to the left. Water hazard on the right, mine field on the left, snipers in the trees directly ahead.”

        • Lord Jim

          “Jokers to the left of me, clowns to the right…”

      • Hardly Ideal

        Claymores… are we talking Scottish longswords or directional mines? The second would make for extra incentives to avoid the sand traps.

        • The Wanderer

          Directional mines, methinks. I’d substitute the Scottish blades for sharpened bamboo punji sticks in deep pits camouflaged as the rough patches.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Yes.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Why not both?

          • Hardly Ideal

            Well, one is an awesome two-hander sword, and the other is a sneaky little fucker I always seem to detect in Metal Gear by walking in front of.

    • MizzMazz

      I agree it’s stupid. Takes up too much land that is only used my members, too much water, fertilizer up the wazoo that poisons wildlife and our water, not to mention the concentrated douchebags at the clubhouse.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      “…and Tiger, if you’re a good boy, you can wash my balls.”

    • wtf with Eric’s teeth? Dude has millions.
      Mine suck but I do not have millions.

      • Yr. Gma

        That guy is uncommonly ugly.

        • I think it is nothing that cannot be fixed with a not douchebag hair cut, and maybe a retainer tho

          • Yr. Gma

            No. He’s an unfortunate combination of the least attractive traits of both his parents.

          • So weird.
            Ivanka, for…all her faults, is a nice looking lady. But the boys are like fugs and lee. They were cute lil kids once, too, also

          • Yr. Gma

            I think Ivanka spends the money to get the looks.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nounverb911
  • GemlikeFlame

    How long will it be before MSM starts ignoring Spicer and Conway altogether? I mean, as punching bags they’re fun, but when everything they say is guaranteed to be false, what value can they possibly bring?

    • FDRliberal

      The MSM needs to follow the lead of Reuters – treat the Trump administration like other corrupt authoritarian regimes like Russia and Turkey. This means assuming that what the govt. puts out is usually false and verify reports using other sources outside the govt.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        100%.

    • 1captainhooker1

      They’re sacrificial lambs anyway. Try to enjoy the public floggings on their own merit.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They supply the alternative facts, so the media knows what to debunk this week today.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Spicer is getting worked right now on the AHCA. “Oh, you people are never satisfied!”
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/844253526171762688

    • snark-lurker

      He said a “funny” I could not makeout but pretty reporter looked like she had just been pussy-grabbed.

    • FDRliberal

      Spicer: “Everyone may not get what they want”

      “Everyone may not get what they want” = Tens of millions kicked off their insurance and tens of thousands of needless deaths.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        You may, for example, have wanted to survive a treatable condition.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Yet HERE is what the lying sack of shit for whom Sphincter speaks promised the public:

      Trump made big promises: His insurance reform will, he says, cover more people and cost less money.
      “We’re going to have insurance for everybody, everybody,” Trump told The Washington Post. “There was a philosophy in some circles that if you can’t pay for it, you don’t get it. That’s not going to happen with us.”
      “[They] can expect to have great health care. It will be in a much simplified form. Much less expensive and much better,” he said.]

      Damned lying bastards.

      http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/15/politics/trump-obamacare/

    • ariel_gee_398

      Christ, thanks for the chuckle. The bar for success is now so low that policy and campaign promises don’t matter, only that it “repeals and replaces” the ACA with something. By that logic, replacing it with actual death panels would be a fulfillment of Trump’s promise. More cost-effective than the AHCA, too.

      • Nockular cavity

        “We replaced these people’s Obamacare with a truckload of rabid badgers. Let’s see if they notice.”

        • ariel_gee_398

          “I’m sorry, ma’am, but being appetizing to rabid badgers is considered a pre-existing condition. I’m afraid this won’t be covered.”

      • HogeyeGrex

        Are you kidding?! They’re not about to waste taxpayer dollars on actual panels. The death can take care of itself just fine.

        • ariel_gee_398

          They will if they can make sure those taxpayer dollars go to their buddies.

          • HogeyeGrex

            I said “waste.”

      • teele

        I don’t know why they don’t just change the name and be done with it. They can claim they replaced it, and then people can start pushing them to make the specific changes that would improve it, and they can claim f’ing victory and get on with the impeachment. Win-win.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Which would be so easy because most people – including those in Congress and the White House – still don’t know what on earth the ACA actually does.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Which is also something you can hear late at night in the Spicer marriage bed!

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        All the bleach, Katie.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          You are very welcome. :p

      • “Is it in, yet?”

        • Lord Jim

          “Uh, I’m done, actually…”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Yeah, and dumb people bought that repealing and replacing was gonna be great because you guys lied your asses off saying it was also going to be full coverage at a lower cost. You can see how they might feel a bit cheated now, eh Spoogy?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “We pledged to go do something.”

      Well, OK then! No further questions.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      You said people would get cheaper coverage without a drop in the number of those covered. So, no. You’re not doing what you said you’d do. Asshole.

  • FDRliberal

    I gotta get this anti-Trump Chrome extension.

    https://twitter.com/abcronkhite/status/844188644919459840

  • Crystalclear12

    Can you imagine if he was a full-time president?!
    Thank God for golf.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I know when my boss asks where I’ve been all day, my first answer is that I’m entitled to a bit of privacy.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Golfing isn’t intended for doing business. It’s for drinking beer and cussing practice.

    • Thaumaturgist

      You got golf confused with huntin.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “Elderly gentlemen, gentle in all respects, kind to animals, beloved by children, and fond of music, are found in lonely corners of the downs, hacking at sandpits or tussocks of grass, and muttering in a blind, ungovernable fury elaborate maledictions which could not be extracted from them by robbery or murder. Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth.” – from an English Common Law ruling decreeing that no man is a gentleman when playing the game of golf

    • Nick Scroggs

      I thought that was billiards.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Proud Liberal
    • Bill D. Burger

      gif of the day! ~hats off to ya~

      • Proud Liberal

        Thanks. I really could envision Trump doing this! LMAO!

    • MizzMazz

      Whoever is making these tantrum gifs is a genius.

  • OrG

    I can’t for the life of me understand why anybody would want to play golf.

  • SnarkON

    Dear Mr. Trump: May I respectfully suggest that you consider stepping down from the presidency to golf fulltime?

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      You’re going to have to take a stroke, Donnie.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        From his speech patterns, I’d suspect he already did.

        • Lord Jim

          A few days ago, I heard some incidental audio from the Nashville rally (a sitting president having a rally? SRSLY?!). He sounded like was loaded.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      “Hands off, ladies. He’s all mine.” -Ivanka

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Told ya….

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “It shows something about his character,” he [De La Hoya] said. “Golf is a gentleman’s sport. You don’t lie about your score, you don’t lie about moving your ball. It goes to show what we’re dealing with.”

      Yup, yup, yup.

  • Proud Liberal

    I don’t know if anyone has seen this but it is fucking hilarious!

    https://youtu.be/pcnFbCCgTo4?t=6

  • NastyBossetti

    I never want to have to hear about golf again. The only thing golf is good for is if you want to take a nap, then you put it on the tv.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Vecchioivan

        Pipped at the post again.

    • Vecchioivan

      “A good walk spoiled.”

    • Jennifer R

      Asheville NC has (or maybe had) this fucking kick ass minigolf called Tropical Gardens. It was built on the side of a mountain and most of the holes have vertical components to it.

      • mini golf =/=golf

        • NastyBossetti

          agreed.

        • teele

          True. Mini golf is fun.

      • NastyBossetti

        Mini golf is whimsical and fun, though. It is NOT good for napping.

    • HogeyeGrex

      “Watching golf is about as much fun as watching turds turn white.”

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        Paint dry, also.

  • Nounverb911
  • Antonin Dvorak

    I don’t know if this has been mentioned yet but Rep. Blumenauer has introduced a new bill to congress. It is called the No Taxpayer Revenue Used to Monetize the Presidency Act.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/03/10/democrat-congressman-introduces-no-trump-act-to-prevent-taxpayer-spending-at-trump-properties/

    • HA! See, Republicans? We can come up with acronyms too.
      muahahahahahah

      • ariel_gee_398

        And ours are internally logical *and* related to the actual topic of the legislation at hand.

    • OrG

      That’s my rep,go Earl.

  • Mickey Donovan

    Making America Golf Again.

  • Nounverb911
  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    My Dad once told me golf is a “Gentleman’s game”. I didn’t realize until years later that meant, “A White Man’s Game.” They will go to great lengths to protect their delusions they’re the best at everything. It’s why they treat black male athletes like brainless thugs, and ignore or belittle female athletes at every opportunity.

    • Jennifer R

      Think about it. You drive around on a little cart to hit balls on some of the most valuable land in the area and make someone who is almost certainly browner than you carry all your shit AND give you advice. Then you cheat on the score card.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        You should see the golf courses here….fancy!!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        It’s practically a metaphor for something.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Right. And a “Gentlemen’s Club” isn’t a strip joint.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        That one makes me laugh. There’s nothing more chivalrous than making sure you gently place the dollar in the G-string….

    • Other “Gentleman’s” sports include polo, big game hunting, game fishing, grouse shooting (English moorland) and anything where expense, location or prejudice can limit the participants. Climbing (Alpinism) was considered a gentleman’s occupation until working class climbers in the Pennines and the Peak district started taking an interest.

      • thefootballs too was once considered best kept to the ivy leagues, non?

        • A gentleman’s game played by ruffians whilst Rugby Union was a ruffian’s game played by gentlemen

      • aureolaborealis

        Pretty much all formal sports started as “Gentlemen’s” sports, and the amateur requirements that we hold so precious for the Olympics and NCAA, etc., were there to ensure that only the idle class would be competitive. Working class folks typically didn’t have the free time to get good at a sport that wasn’t their job.

      • magyar of infinite power

        Tennis was really fucking white until the Williams sisters took over.

        • aureolaborealis

          Arthur Ashe LIBELZZZ!!!!11!!

          • magyar of infinite power

            Ashe was a great player, but he never dominated the was the Williamses have.

          • aureolaborealis

            Well, to be fair, no one has. They DID name a stadium after him.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            He actually did, there was just less media around so we were less saturated with it. He was a great player who really broke down the barrier to begin with, much like our marvelous, heroic, fearless Billie Jean King.

      • SpideySenser

        Sherpa LIBELZSSZ!!1q11!2

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Right? Literally none of those “gentlemen” could move an inch without those marvelous Sherpas! “Tigers in the Snow”

          • SpideySenser

            Edmund Hillary could NOT have gotten up Everestt without Tenzing Norgay!

    • Doug Langley
  • Nounverb911
    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      This unknown leads the pack at Augusta…

      • The Wanderer

        Cinderella story . . . came outta nowhere . . .

    • Mr. Blobfish

      ”I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate”.
      – Al Czervik

      • Bebecca

        I’m not making this up. I read a story recently, maybe WaPo? that was about DT putting in a cemetery in one of his golf courses in NY (I think). It had been approved by the city but never built. It sounds like The Onion but wasn’t.

  • writersbloc

    Those big, beautiful, wide hips, no wonder he’s born so many children.

    • The Wanderer

      He bestrides the world like a foam frog in heat; spongy, frothy masses of eggs vomiting from his cloaca everywhere he goes . . .

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      And the upper half also too. He’s a tit-lie-ist, all right.

      • The Wanderer

        He’s a tit.

        • Can we call him a testicle instead? For realz, why is it always women parts are used for bad people.
          Let us call him a testicle wart. Or a prostate. He is an enlarged prostate.

          • The Wanderer

            Okay! He’s a testicle-shitting rectal wart!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            It started out as a bad pun on a brand of golf balls… Oh wait, balls. There we are.

          • oh….well darn missed that XD But then I do not do the golf.
            and now I have learned and Wonkette once again is my free teacher FOR LIFE.
            HEY.
            Wonkette should apply for charter school grants!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Wonklish as a Second Language. Teach your friends and family to say “IOKIYAR”, “also too”, “AOT,K”, and “with votes”!

          • I used also too at a meeting. With like clientssortofthatiswhatwewillcallthem.
            someone snickered. I did not turn around to see who.

      • Prof. T. Green Bastard
    • aureolaborealis

      Hey, don’t you go size-shaming that fat piece of shit who is our president!

      • He’s got small hands, tho’

      • writersbloc

        hahaha, such a great response.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    OT, but this is so cool: A cookbook written by refugees, featuring 80 recipes and stories from at least 20 chefs hailing from 15 different countries.
    It’s a Kickstarter campaign, which hit $50,000 in days (locking up the publication) and is now aiming for $100,000. 10% of proceeds will go to the International Rescue Committee; all remaining profits will be invested in hiring and training more refugees.

    If you want to try your hand at Eritrean adas (lentils), Nepali momos (dumplings), Iraqi biryani, or Guinean rice with peanut sauce, this is your cookbook:
    https://ksr-ugc.imgix.net/assets/015/766/272/3cd8132026e91acc517377b6421dd252_original.jpg?w=680&fit=max&v=1488847494&auto=format&q=92&s=45023b619d8974723a2fc6fc8866eb3d

    http://www.grubstreet.com/2017/03/eat-offbeat-refugee-cookbook.html

    • The Wanderer

      I had Nepalese momos at the Mt. Everest Hotel in Washington DC back in the Long-Ago (1987). They were a nice finish to a great meal.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Just pledged. Looks like a pretty cool cookbook.

  • Swampay

    What is it with golf, anyway? I’d rather do almost anything else.

    • ariel_gee_398

      The only thing I’d rather do less than golf is live in a country where Donald Trump is president.

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        Do you mind if we play through? FORRRRRE!!!!

    • Clyde Barrow

      No kidding. It’s a boring game, played with condescending douchebags, and it takes way too long. The only good part is the 19th hole, and even that sucks if you hit a hole in one because it is tradition for the player that hits the hole in one to buy the house a round of drinks…which sounds like some type of perverted crony socialism.

    • Shibusa

      Your golf aversion is driving a wedge between us.

      • The Wanderer

        You wood say that.

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        Now don’t get all teed off.

      • aureolaborealis

        There’s got to be some fair way you two could iron it out. What approach would get us to the short strokes on this?

      • aureolaborealis

        [Something non-homophobic about] putting from the rough …

    • AJ Milne

      Yeah, I’ve played it a bit, just to be sociable. Not my thing either. Don’t actually hate it, if it’s nice weather and good company, but it’s always: why are we messing up a perfectly good hike by chasing these little white things around?

    • Roadstergal

      A good walk spoiled.

    • Liberoid Ron

      If you’re going to go for long walks in the park, go for long walks in the park. If you’re going to hit a little white ball with a stick, hit a little white ball with a stick. But there’s no excuse for combining the two and putting the results on television.

  • Nick Scroggs

    True story, I once got hit in the shoulder at a mini golf course by a flying club. Hurt for months.

  • Shibusa
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I’ll be in the vomitorium.

    • The Wanderer

      One of these things is not like the other . . .

    • JohnBull

      One’s a “real American.” The other discovered vegetables.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Geez, if you can’t trust a “famoso molto dottore”, who can you trust?

    • SpideySenser

      That handsome dude on the right? I could watch him walk to/from wherever all day long.

  • rocktonsam

    is Donald wearing a diaper under those mom golf khakis?

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      From the size of his ass in that photo it’s where he keeps his caddie.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    At first Trump declined the offer to enter a golf tournament for the blind, then he thought, “Shit I could win this thing.”

    • Truck Fump

      Bigly!

  • aureolaborealis

    Golf is one of those venues where Trump could demonstrate that the unhinged public image he’s developed is not true. Or, you know, he could reinforce it, by sucking at it, cheating and lying about his scores.
    If he was an honestly good golfer, it would ever so slightly reduce my disgust for him. It would indicate that he had actually worked at learning to be good at something (which would have involved honest self-assessment), rather than just spinning whatever lazy bullshit he shows up with as solid gold.

    • Clyde Barrow

      His golf swing motion is worse than a little league batter trying to hit a Fernando Valenzuela screwball, so it’s safe to say he cheats at golf like Judge Smails from Caddyshack.

      • HogeyeGrex
        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          THIS IS EXACTLY what I think every time I see the Orange one on the golf course. Except, of course, Auric Goldfinger had charm and wit. Donnie’s version would be more like “Do you expect me to die, Mr. Trump?” “No, Mr. Bond, sad, terrible, people say bad, bad things about the size of my inauguration, lies, fake news, sad.”

          • HogeyeGrex

            I just like using “Shortfinger.”

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Shortfinger is brilliant. Forgot to doff my metaphorical hat on that one. I may have to borrow it!

  • Clyde Barrow

    Any gopher that tears apart Trump’s beloved golf course is a friend to America.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Instead of going to/from ($!) my beautiful Mar-a-lago golf course every weekend, I will just stay there all the time.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • I was just wondering if, for all those years, Michael Jackson was just getting in some golf.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Here’s my email to Eric Garcetti, inspired partly by the discussion thread, for all to enjoy(that, and I was too lazy to write ti down to take to a future City Council meeting):Dear Mayor Garcetti,
    as someone who’s lived in Los Angeles their whole life, I’ve never really cared much about politics. But with the election of the orange windbag into the Presidency, I feel an urge to do something. And part of that is contacting you. Point is, I have a bunch of suggestions for fixing LA that I want to give o you.
    1) taking away all the golf courses under LA jurisdiction. It is a lazy, elitist game that wastes valuable space and water, and is overall nothing but for rich guys. I suggest turning them into public parks, affordable housing areas, and natural preserves for wildlife of the region and elsewhere to roam and live.
    2) Financial initiatives and incentives for people to get water-saving gardens and appliances, of course you also need to prevent perverse incentives trying to abuse this to get rich.
    3) Getting the traffic lights synchronized. This one has been a problem forever, like on Wilshire you can get 6 green lights or 6 red lights in a row, it clogs up traffic. Especially with the construction going on for the Purple Line, it wastes gasoline. Getting them synchronized should be done ASAP.
    Thank you for time.
    Signed, Nicholas Scroggs

  • canes_pugnaces

    As the new South rises again, the rightwing neo-Nazis march forward buoyed by optimism, verve and bile. Just as an historic caveat: it didn’t work last time, it won’t this time, either.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Both for the South AND for the Nazis.

  • Jgb979

    It’s not even the fact that he takes vacations. Presidentin is hard! No arguments from me.

    It’s the EVERY WEEKEND vacation. At this point he’ll exceed Dubya’s month long “brush clearin” vacations by about June.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      I wouldn’t mind if he went away a lot more than Dubya.

      25 to life would be just fine.

      • All expenses paid and tax payer funded, too!

      • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

        We could even put his name on the wall in YYYuuuuujjj letters!

      • Liberoid Ron

        And as a kindly gesture to his financiers supporters he could spend it in one of their nice private facilities.

      • Jennaratrix

        Even supposing we could manage to impeach and then prosecute, President Pence’s first official act would be to pardon the motherfucker. Damn it.

        • Prof. T. Green Bastard

          Why would he? He was never one of them, just a obnoxious orange pawn.

          Anyway, maybe Pence won’t even be spared from getting splattered w this Russian shit.

    • Nick Scroggs

      He reminds me of a boss, not one I had but someone I knew had, and met, and that guy would just take vacations like every weekend to Palm Springs, meanwhile the company was losing money. It’s like he somehow combined with a meathead i knew in junior high (named Angelo) who thought of himself as a cool guy, but was just a giant flush-cheeked idiot who liked to pick on small weird kids (like me) and not in trouble, and then getting into the White House. Dammit.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • motmelere

    Never underestimate what a Rory McIlroy deal could do for our country, because you can’t possibly underestimate that.

  • AmusedAmused

    Is it me, or has Trump gained a sizeable amount of weight since the election?

    • I think he just stopped wearing his girdle, or, can’t wear it and play golf at the same time.
      But yeah he has jowls fo sho

      • Roadstergal

        President Zapp Brannigan.

      • Jennaratrix

        Not to mention moobs.

      • starfanglednut

        And that butt. Omg.

      • James Lamere

        He definitely wore his girdle at the aircraft carrier rally .

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      “Mint, Mr. Preznit? Its waffer thin.”

      https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-24-2015/kS-mDS.gif

    • magyar of infinite power

      Not just you. He appears to have gone back on a sodium and lard diet.

      • Bebecca

        good!

    • Doug Langley

      But the White House kitchen makes the most del-i-shus fried butter sticks!

    • Liberoid Ron

      Either that or his muscle tone’s shot. Maybe both. The amount of stress he has to be under must be playing merry hell with a system that’s never been expected to do much more than ride escalators and swing a golf club (badly.)

      • Jennaratrix

        You’ll excuse me for not feeling an ounce of pity.

        • Liberoid Ron

          Of course. Goes without saying, I think.

  • eggsacklywright

    Sort of OT: watching Gorsuck in nomination talks. Incapable of answering a question directly. What a fucking weasel.

    • Jenny

      I listened on NPR. Turned it off, he speaks like a douche.

      • I almost posted this on another thread and then i got bored with everything in my life.

        I listened to the first hour or so while commuting. Couldn’t stand his inflection: smug, shallow and nerdy all at once.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      I hope all the dirt coming out on him is enough to bury his chances @ being confirmed.

      • Jennaratrix

        It won’t be. The Dems don’t have the numbers to block him, and the GOP are too spineless to vote against party lines. Hang on, if you thought losing the election was bad, wait until the SCOTUS is (even more of) a partisan circlejerk.

  • Indivisible Snark Tank

    Barry O’Bamzzzz should send out all of these on his twitting machine, but substitute “Dampnut” for “Obama”. A nice little trolling twitstorm.

    • The only thing I wish about Obama is that he was a leeeetttlleeee more troll-ey.
      But he is all high class and such what. Grunt.

  • Bebecca

    See people Trump is presidenting while golfing, that black guy was hanging out with the brothers.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Trump is white, therefore, a President. That black guy was just an uppity ni[clang] and obviously was just lazing around, that’s what they do, and my primitive, tribal ignorance is easily manipulated by con men and grifters! –Trump supporters

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Nick Scroggs
    • Doug Langley

      Love Foxtrot!

  • magyar of infinite power

    Does anyone else get the sneaking suspicion that Trump isn’t taking this whole “Precedenting” thing very seriously?

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Oh my goooooooddddd Vladimir HOW much longer do I have to do this it’s SOOOOOO boring oh my gooooodddd

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Why sure he is! He’s grifting just as fast as his pea brain & tiny hands will let him.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    It just occurs to me, I wonder if Putin’s motive in making Trump president ISN’T actually for world conquest, trillion-dollar oil deals, or the re-grabbing of the former SSR states, but the guy he tried to default on his loan payments to went to Putin: Godfather. He has actually tried NOT TO PAY ME BACK. ME! This is an affront to Russian dignity!
    Putin: Yes. You are right. It must be rectified. I will create a situation where he is humiliated, forced to look at his loathsome failure of a man every single day. AND I will give him a secret phone, so he can show us, every day, how weak and stupid he is.

  • Poly_Ester

    I’m sure golfing with foreign dignitaries is a lot like golfing with Melania. Right donnie? Except there is no p****y to grab.

  • Begin Anew Day

    “…an opportunity with Prime Minister Abe…” is my new euphemism for getting drunk.

    Thanks donnie!

    • Me not sure

      My new euphemism for getting drunk is “I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone, Dammit!” Wife and I have pet names for each other. Hers is Dammit, mine is Asshole.

  • goonemeritus

    Obama’s love golf is one of the few things I didn’t love about him. Golf is the chosen game of badly dressed racists everywhere. I’m glad Trump Golfs I wish he golfed 16 hours a day followed by a 4 hour shvitz and a 4 hour nap. Our Country would be so much better off than when he tries to govern.

    • Lord Jim

      You’re joking, of course. We need a focused Trump tweeting outrageous bullshit daily so the scandals gum up the Republican policymaking works.

      • Jennaratrix

        Except the scandals aren’t gumming up the GOP at all, at least not yet. The GOP is getting shit done in the background while we’re all distracted by whatever garbage the shitgibbon tweeted at zero dark thirty.

    • Mavenmaven

      I did not want to imagine Trump in the shvitz.

    • SpideySenser

      AND badly dressed misogynists. Local club has “the girls” paying half what “the men” pay, but girls can’t tee off until 1:00PM. Fuck that shit. Rumor has it they are contemplating a rule change. And don’t even get me started on the eco damage and waste.

  • Andy

    <<I was paid 104000 bucks previous year by doing an internet based work as well as I was able to do it by w­orking in my own time f­o­r quite a few hours on a daily basis. I applied job opportunity I came across online and so I am delighted that I was manage to make such decent earnings. It’s really newbie-friendly and I am so grateful that I discovered out regarding it. Look out for what I do. ➤➤➤➤ http://www.cat.org.uk/snip/99261

    • magyar of infinite power

      MacLaren or GTFO

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LORI

        • clubseal

          “…so I am delighted that I was manage to make such decent earnings.”
          Well, she certainly didn’t take grammar lessons with her.

          • Lord Jim

            It just doesn’t translate well from the original Russian.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Lori was always such a good English student.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Lori wasn’t a closer.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Always Be Closing, Lori! You want to spend time with your children, FUCK YOU!

    • TundraGrifter

      Andy – I’ve told you and told you! NEVER email me at work! My wife works here too, and she just wouldn’t understand…

    • TundraGrifter

      I’m newbie-friendly, as well. Is this your first time SPAM’ing?

      • ez

        what are the odds? Andy and dracrikesl typed the exact same message!

        I guess that old canard about the million Monkeys on a Million typewriters thing is true after all.

        • TundraGrifter

          Guess I owe them a Coke.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    I’m really surprised by all the golf hate in our Wonkette community. I learned to play golf so I could play with my husband and then-teenage son. It’s a really difficult, exacting sport, requiring enormous coordination, balance, agility, reflexes, and thought. There’s a Zen quality to the purity of focus you need in order to play. It’s closer to yoga than to any of the fast, rougher sports. In order to have a good swing, your body must be in balance in endless, precise ways.

    You’re out in nature, walking around, getting exercise with people you enjoy hanging out with–we’ve played courses amidst the Redwoods, courses overlooking the Pacific in Santa Barbara, lovely courses overlooking Monterey Bay, beautiful rough courses up in Bolinas; we’ve played in scenic, redrock Utah, and incredible mesas in New Mexico.

    My husband took a golfing trip to Northern Scotland with his brother, playing up way up North, even near the Arctic Circle, on wild, magnificent courses that have stood for hundreds and hundreds of years–one of them, the oldest course in Scotland, where you play with ancient golf “niblicks” and the like, and it was absolutely glorious. It’s also a game you can play long into your older years, long after sports like basketball or softball get too difficult, and yet it is deeply challenging and once you understand the depth of it, really fascinating. And once you’ve played it enough, you can truly enjoy the astonishing abilities and talents of the champion golfers.

    And there’s nothing more pleasant on a balmy summer evening than heading out to a nearby driving range, especially if your swing has come together and there you are smacking drives towards a grove of palm trees. You don’t have to join a country club, or pay through the nose to play on private courses; there are tons and tons of lovely public courses, and inexpensive driving ranges. Most public courses offer inexpensive lessons. I really urge people to give it a second thought.

    • doktorzoom

      My understanding was that golf hatred is universal, and practiced most fervently by avid golfers.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        That is most exactly true!

      • BeachLoafer

        You have to play golf to truly internalize a hatred for the game.

        The self loathing you experience when you stare at your golf bag and think of what you might have done with the thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars you’ve sunk into equipment, lessons, and greens fees after yet another disappointing round is really quite incomparable.

        Then again, what CatCafe described sounds nothing like my golf game 😂

      • Mike Steele

        lady MS here: kudos to CatCafe for purrsisting in the face of what passes for Wonker outrage. (Also, too, played & watched golf with Mom). Will shamelessly draft her courage to address a troubling post from troll up thread, who asked what ‘white’ had to do with one’s view of sport as diplomacy or diversion. We all get that…but what about art? I was, personally, appalled to read of Hannah Black (British ‘artist’, not to be confused with NY. Chef) suggesting that bold, evocative painting depicting Emmett Till, entitled “Open Casket”, currently at the Whitney should be ‘removed and destroyed’ because it was painted by a white artist. That, and her pseudo-psycho-intellectual justification for fascist censorship of freedom of expression made me ill. Artist explained – though she shouldn’t have had to – that a mother’s loss of a child is universal. There’s such a thing as taking the concept of ‘white privilege’ a bridge too far. Yeah, après moi, le deluge.

    • Finnabar87

      Golf, AKA a good walk, spoiled.

    • maxneanderthal

      If it’s so good, how come a) participation in US and Europe is dropping off a cliff, and b) a rat-brained, tobacco stained baboon masquerading as a free world leader enjoys it- way to attract the millennials- not…

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Well, just because a hateful sub-human plays it, doesn’t change the sport itself. Plenty of awful people play basketball, too. I’m not talking about attracting millennials, just saying that the sport has a lot of good qualities. I don’t know that participation is dropping off a cliff, but that’s probably because I live in SoCal, where we also have a sizable Korean community, and participation in Asia is phenomenal, just saying.

        • maxneanderthal

          I’ve no issue with the wild courses (see my sister’s local links at 58.95N, 3.3 W -try teeing off there when it’s blowing Beaufort F8+ in midwinter) but the resource demand on desert locations- come on guys..!

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            TOTALLY agree with that. Sorry, should have mentioned that. It’s fucking absurd. Some of the courses here in drought country are finally adapting and having the courses be more wild, and xeriscaped with sand and cactus plants and so forth and it’s so much better. Otherwise, I am totally sickened by that. It is truly heinous. And not even the way it’s meant to be played! ps, when my husband & brother in law played in Scotland, it was May, but they still had weather where it was freezing, rain blowing sideways, and they loved it. Part of the game! They were also somewhere where there was a webcam, so we picked a time and my husband went on the webcam and waved at us while he was talking to us here in California. It was really hilarious.

      • zerosumgame0005

        O.J. played football so you must hate football as well?

    • Leliel

      It’s not the sport, it’s the players who are playing instead of their actual job.

    • NastyBossetti

      It’s okay if you like it, but it’s not for everyone.
      I enjoy going to punk rock shows and getting in the pit. I find it to be cathartic, and it gives me a sense of community. Other people are not shy about telling me that they think it’s stupid or silly or even dangerous (especially since I’m 38 years old at this point, and a woman). That’s ok. I just don’t invite them to go with me.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Exactly. Thank you!

    • AnniNoone

      That was lovely. I can tell the game is challenging, but that’s always added to the “why would one do that (except to schmooze)” question for me. I still don’t want to play, but I see why someone with my values might. Thank you.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        You’re welcome! It has a whole other side to it, miles away from the racist-white-assholes-showing-off-douchebaggery side. To play well, you have to be completely, absolutely relaxed, while completely, absolutely focused, which is what reminds me so much of yoga, and really is very Zen. Very meditative. There’s also, for me, this part, where I have to force myself not to be distracted by what anyone else is doing or how much better they are than I am (also much like yoga). I really do enjoy it, and I’m a completely uncoordinated, non-sporty, old Berkeley leftie who spends most of the day indoors either reading or writing. :)

        • honeywest

          So true. Tilden is fun! I found it to be absolutely zen!

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            It is gorgeous up there (in my beloved home town)!

    • Jennaratrix

      Looks boring as fuck to me, and watching it on television is orders of magnitude less exciting than watching paint dry, but if it’s your thing, have at it.

      • zerosumgame0005

        well, I HATE watching sports on TV of pretty much any kind but it is fun when you are at the stadium or tennis courts, and being out there stroking (heh heh) it can be fun!

      • natoslug

        Personally, I like a good hike and a wander through the woods. Sometimes I’ll bring a hiking stick, maybe smack a small rock around as I go. Fundamentally the same thing as being a golfer, right? Just without the silly outfits and the fees.

      • ltmcdies

        Mom used to like to watch golf she said to me because she could knit at the same time and never “miss anything”

        • Mike Steele

          Bro? Sis?

    • major_asshole

      Golf is lovely, I’m sure, but there’s all the costs. You’ve got to buy the jumpers and the silly tassel loafers and the socks and sticks, and then there’s the cost of joining the Freemasons–I’d rather just go auto racing.

      (Adapted with respect from Top Gear)

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        “I’d also rather just punch my producer in the face and be an asshole” (also adapted from Top Gear). And ps, buying the socks is one of the BEST PARTS, not to mention the cute little mint-and-pink argyle vests! (only on sale, of course).

        • honeywest

          The SKORTS! The SKORTS! Loudmouth Skorts are less than half price in ebay etc.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      We don’t hate golf. We hate Trump. We hate Trump in the Oval Office, in his motorcade, in AF1, in Mar-a-Lago, we hate him while he’s playing golf ESPECIALLY because of how he smeared Obama for playing and promised that he would barely ever leave the WH because he would be working so hard, oh, but, surprise, surprise, he was goddamned lying about that, TOO!

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Well OF COURSE WE HATE TRUMP!!!!! But he also flies in planes, and we don’t hate planes, and wears suits, and we don’t hate suits, and travels (endlessly and on our dollar) to sunny climes, and we don’t hate sunny climes, and hw eats some kind of Mexican food, even if he calls it a “taco bowl,” and reduces the great Mexican culture and civilization to a dish of food, and we still LOVE Mexican food. I just meant, there are other ways to understand golf, and many of us enjoy it WITHOUT being pee-soaked, hateful, infantile, treasonous, woman-hating pieces of Nazi shit. I mean, Hitler liked dogs, and we still like dogs. We can’t let the hateful faking shitheels redefine our activities.

        • honeywest

          Hitler liked Blondie. Not sure about other dogs. But YES. I love dogs AND golf! Love the game not the gamer!

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Blondie WAS a good dog. Although, can you imagine when the other dogs finally broke it to her. “Wait… my owner is HITLER???”

    • zerosumgame0005

      thank gawd, I was scared to mention I was playing golf since I was a kid (on public not private courses) and while watching golf is like puling teeth without gas I do still enjoy 18 holes…

    • ltmcdies

      Trump gives golf a bad name and Spicer is Ann idiot
      I have no issues with golf

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Trump gives EVERYTHING a bad name.

    • honeywest

      Bravo! I, too, love Golf, Miss Cat! I’d rather see a President golf than tweet at 3am, that’s for sure!

    • Bebecca

      Everything I know about golf I learned from watching The Legend of Bagger Vance. It portrays golf just as you have. I’ve seen that movie at least 10 times.

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor
    • honeywest

      These are the Daves I know I know, these are the Daves I know! Love KITH. Girl Drink Drunk!

  • Me not sure

    Spring is here and I arise to the tweets of the Orange-crested Gob Swallow. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d9d01883b90bd333eec789673c696b93794e8b4a3305a9acdbd0bd5bdcebdc14.jpg

    • David

      I love that picture. Such a cute looking bird with a punk style hairdo.
      Where are you? I’ve never seen a bird like that.
      I recently captured an owl in flight.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8278958b1e917908f9583a2845e07ca2b7a16a1d3a68aaaf07b3b02ac9a83c33.jpg

      • Me not sure

        I don’t know birds. I just Googled red-crested bird and that was the one I liked best.
        I do know a little about photography and that owl is beautifully shot. The soft focus of the background and the precise focus of the owl provide a great visual contrast. Well done, good sir.

    • SayItWithWookies

      It looks like a ruby-crowned kinglet, which are adorable little guys that I thought were chickadees or something before I photographed one.

      • Me not sure

        You got it right. They winter here in the south and summer (breed) in the northern tier and southern Canada. Well spotted.

  • marxalot

    “Just because you go somewhere doesn’t necessarily mean you did it.”

    Just like prom night, eh Spicey?

  • Mavenmaven

    Needless to say, if he’s going to play with all those world leaders, he has to practice a lot because he has to win win win, so his golfing is like the Olympics or the military! Or even more important!

    • SpideySenser

      Big League!

  • Paperless Tiger

    I always imagine him in a different kind of bunker.

    • natoslug

      He’s not welcome in my bunk. Not even if I’m freezing, and there are no Tauntaun nearby.

  • FormerMainer

    Where does the “white” reference in the headline come from?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Ummm… from the fact that these twits – many of whom have expressed vast racial animus in a number of ways – who spewed eight years of hatred at Bamz and called him lazy for golfing, are now falling all over themselves to claim that Donnie is working when he’s golfing, and the only differences between the golf played by Donnie and the golf played by Bamz are:

      A) Bamz played a lot less golf

      and

      B) The difference in skin tone between the two.

      • FormerMainer

        and

        C) The different in political party.

        I think (C) is the most likely reason – people only want to attack the opposing team.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          After 8 years of hearing these folks dog-whistle and directly echo longstanding racially-charged, if not flat-out racist, claims about black people in the criticisms they leveled at Obama, I would say that it’s more (B) than (C).

          Hence “white.”

          • FormerMainer

            That is quite the logical leap, but I guess people go to great lengths to find answers that fit their worldview.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Said the guy denying what’s directly under his nose.

            Hey. You be you.

        • phoenix00

          AOT,K

      • “M”
    • Red Bellied Black Shake

      Should be amended to Orange people.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    It just occurred to me to wonder – has Donnie ever played golf with a girl? Ever?

    • natoslug

      You need balls to play golf, so no. It’s plain biolojeez, people!

      • Chris Mattson

        Then, (head scratch) how is trump able to play?

        • natoslug

          Nobody really wants to get close enough to check?

    • SpideySenser

      Imma go with that’s a def no. Like Vijay Singh vs. Anika Sorenstam. Scared to death to get beat by a “girl”.

    • Red Bellied Black Shake

      Why would he sgt, there is far too high a likelihood of him being humiliated… again.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17bc07e67e79b80557b48fed14afa18a0fd5690740e7fd117d8ad1d8e0f3b771.jpg

  • Foocatchoo

    With all the golfing, tweeting and fit-throwing how much time is left for some good ‘ol PUSSY GRABBING?!!!

    • lynchie

      that is why he has moved his daughter into an office in the west wing. Pussy close for grabbing

  • CATMAN

    Of course Trump’s golf is more fiscally responsible than Obama’s–he owns the course so the taxpayers don’t have pay the greens fees

    • FlownΩver

      I’ll want to see the audit before I accept that. So far, I haven’t seen anything this “billionaire” didn’t bill to the taxpayers.

      • CATMAN

        Obviously, none of you got the joke

        • Red Bellied Black Shake

          I think they did CATMAN, pretty sure everyone else is joking too? What else can anybody do other than laugh 🙃

      • Red Bellied Black Shake

        I’m still not convinced he is a billionaire. Unless debt is considered as monetary assets.

    • azeyote

      actually the tax payers are paying up the ass to Trumps hotels for him, and his crew to dine, play a round, and stay over night –

      • Alan

        Actually, we’ll be paying up the ass to fix everything for another generation after these morons fuck it all up.

    • Nephilim

      Actually, the Guardian has done an article that Trump has spent more of the taxpayers money in his weekends at Mar-a- Lago than Obama has in one year of his vacations.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      We are paying for ALL OF IT. His travel there, his entourage’s travel there, his immense security force’s travel there, and every penny he charges all of them to stay at and golf at his own property, paid for by you and me, that goes directly into his pocket. I’ve posted this before, but just imagine that President Hillary Clinton leaves virtually every weekend so she can sunbathe and shop at an island in the Bahamas, and makes everyone stay, and pay outlandish prices for a hotel and golf course she owns–all the taxpayer dollars going directly into her pocket. Then also imagine she blithely leaves classified documents around the swimming pool, full of unvetted guests and undocumented workers, for anyone to photograph, and her ditsy besties post pictures of themselves goofing around with the actual, top-top-top secret officer holding the fucking nuclear codes. CAN YOU IMAGINE??????

      • Red Bellied Black Shake

        Yet this is not all, it’s costing businesses surrounding Mar-A-Largo a ton of green in lost revenue too, so I read a few weeks back.

        I’m thinking a class action suit against the entire administration is in order, plaintiffs being most of American citizens, hell throw in Australia’s too, we will back you guys no worries.

      • phoenix00

        And not only that, these fees go straight back into Trump’s pockets!

  • Alan

    I assume he rides around in a cart, given what a lardass he appears to be.

  • Zyxomma

    Just a reminder. Golf is sometimes believed to be an acronym for Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. It is not, however, the origin of the word.

    • richardgrabman

      I thought it was Flog spelled backwards.

  • Andy_Kreiss

    Suck it, Libbtarders!!! “Went out to hit a couple balls” is accurate. Lord Mini-Manos hits one ball, which goes into the first cup, bounces out into cup #2, and so on through 3 to 8, coming gently to rest in hole 9.

    A second ball is used to complete the back nine. Unless he’s “on” that day, and the first ball completes all 18.

    Our mighty comboverlord makes Kim Jong Il look like a duffer.

    • Mike Steele

      he could do all that on a public or private course within a 15- minute drive of his taxpayer-funded rental unit @ 1600. Of course, that wouldn’t put $$$ into the coffers of his PRIVATE ‘southern WH’.

    • Mike Steele

      or, as the Chinese call grandson of original Kim, the ‘Third Fatty’

    • Begin Anew Day

      I shoot better golf than that, fucked better looking supermodels, driven rocket cars on the Autobahn and all of my shirts are made of 100% certified BLOOD DIAMONDS! I wrestle Komodo Dragons in the morning for sport, exercise AND BREAKFAST! I have hunted Bigfoot to extinction and have the trophies to prove it.

      This snowflake in the White House doesn’t even have the platinum bullion necessary to join my World Dominance Council!

      Give me a call if you Americans ever decide to elect a REAL MAN to be your leader. (And yeah I would have taken a call from that tough-as-nails Hillary except you stupid Americans decided to vote with your feelings instead of your brains.)
      LOL! Sux to be you!

      –THE Biggest Shot

      • Andy_Kreiss

        Are we twins, separated at birth?

  • bluicebank

    I keep telling myself that nothing will surprise me anymore about the Trump administration. Colluding with aliens to turn us into brain soup? Wouldn’t blink an eye.

    But Donnie poised to destroy a golf course? Did. Not. See. That one coming.

    snippet from Wapo report on the legal nightmare of eminent domaining the shit out of cranky Texas landowners in order to build the Iron Curtain:

    [the River Bend Resort & Golf Club owners … say] “15 of its 18 holes — and more than 200 homes — would be on the south side of the levee, where the wall would be constructed.” Obviously I’m not a golfer, but know enough that a 3-hole course sucks.

    Is there nothing safe from Agent Orange?

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/03/21/trumps-big-beautiful-wall-will-require-him-to-take-big-swaths-of-other-peoples-land/

    • HazooToo

      It’s not HIS golf course, he doesn’t profit from it, and it doesn’t even have his name on it. Which means, it’s pointless!

  • Maybe Sean Spicer should say: “Look, he needs the exercise. Otherwise he soon won’t fit through the door of the Oval Office.”
    Of course I doubt that would go well with Cheetolini.

    • Jo Mathie

      Trump is looking rather like a giant pillow. What with the stress of having to back-track his lies every five minutes I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a heart attack before his inevitable impeachment.

      • lynchie

        he has no stress. a person would have to give a shit to have stress. His conscious is completely clear. He comes out everyday tells a half dozen lies before breakfast. Has a nap watches fox and friends tells a half dozen lies before lunch and then has optional lying opportunities during the afternoon. A pretty full day of lying and he feels satisfied and then in the evening grabs his daughter’s pussy because he can.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Is that Louie Anderson playing one of Cheeto Hitler’s golf courses?

  • dracrikesl

    <<I was paid 104000 bucks previous year by doing an internet based work as well as I was able to do it by w­orking in my own time f­o­r quite a few hours on a daily basis. I applied job opportunity I came across online and so I am delighted that I was manage to make such decent earnings. It’s really newbie-friendly and I am so grateful that I discovered out regarding it. Look out for what I do. ➤➤➤➤http://www.cat.org.uk/snip/28557

  • rocktonsam

    lewis black does a golf rant. I don’t do the linky thing.

  • Don Gwinn

    The Party understood that slavery could be freedom, that peace could be war, that love could be hate, that poverty could be prosperity. The Party understood what Julia had learned, what Winston had now, to his joy, learned at last: that golf is work.

    • chazmanr

      Orwell is laughing his ass off and saying, “I fuckin’ warned ya. You all read my book when you were 15 and you still let it happen!”

  • William
  • roberteye

    Sean LIEcer

  • lynchie

    they lie and lie and lie and lie and after a while we are exhausted from hearing the lies so they lie so more and we just give up and don’t give a shit anymore. Does no one who was elected in the last election give a shit. does anyone who was elected not think that america deserves to have a president and staff who don’t lie every time they open their mouths. I guess not.

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