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It’s a lot like Hollywood. Note the stars, for instance.

We’ve got some real winners to kick off your Open Thread today! First up, Tim Allen, who was briefly funny in the early 1990s but has somehow had an acting career ever since, explained to Jimmy Kimmel that it’s a harsh ol’ world out there for conservatives in Hollywood these days. After “confessing” he’d attended Donald Trump’s inauguration, Allen quickly said he’d attended one of the inaugural balls to Support the Vets — Republicans AND Democrats, and added,

You gotta be real careful around here. You get beat up if you don’t believe what everybody else believes. It’s like ’30s Germany. If you’re not part of the group — “You know what we believe is right…” Well, I might have a problem with it.

When Allen returned home, he found that the government had not encouraged a mob to throw bricks through the windows of his home and that his place of worship had not been burned to the ground. He is not barred from practicing his profession, won’t be forced to live in a ghetto, won’t have to wear an identifying mark on his clothing at all times, and is not prohibited from having sex with anyone with a differing political philosphy. For that matter, he hasn’t had to consider whether he should try to send his children across the ocean to an uncertain future — if he can somehow get an exit visa or a place to take them — because the outlook is that they may not survive here.

On the other hand, people have said some very unkind things about conservatives, and some people are even very confrontational in public about politics, so the parallels are astonishingly similar. You stay brave, Tim Allen! As our deleted commenters like to say, READ A BOOK!

But we don’t want to end with some has-been who doesn’t know anything about history! We want to end the day with a triumph of the wit that played out on Twitter this weekend, involving Talking Points Memo’s Josh Marshall, punchable neo-Nazi Richard Spencer, and former Missouri state Attorney General and U.S. Senate candidate Jason Kander, he of the awesomest political ad of 2016.

TPM’s Marshall, in response to some inane thing Spencer had tweeted, told the Nazi punk to fuck off back to the 1930s, and Spencer, feeling cocky, posted a clip from the film version of Cabaret with a nice Aryan boy singing “Tomorrow Belongs to Me”:

Mind you, the little Nazi shit in the movie is not presented as a good guy, but that’s just how trangressive Spencer is — he’s reclaiming the Aryan super-lad! One itsy-bitsy problem with using that particular clip, though, and who better to point it out than Jason Kander his own self:

You ask us, that’s an even more satisfying smackdown than the literal one Spencer received, because anyone can punch a Nazi, but Kander was the right guy in the right place to make an utter fool of him. And exit singing.

So Jason Kander Won the Internet, and we’re all delighted to learn he’s the nephew of John Kander, who wrote the music for Cabaret (with lyrics by Fred Ebb). Let’s pile a little more wonderful on top while we’re at it: Friend of Wonkette Charlie Pierce hopped in with a follow-up question, and Saturday got even nicer:

As they say in Wisconsin, Molotov!

Now get to open threading, you!

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and we rely on your generous support to help us keep making people like Tim Allen feel oppressed. Please click the donation bar just below this article!

[WaPo / Salon]

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  • The Wanderer
  • Mr. Blobfish

    I may finally break down and create a Twitter account. I want to punch the Nazi too.

    • Infrequentcontributor

      Be careful. There’s a fine line between punching Nazis and feeding trolls…

      • Beanz&Berryz

        If it’s done right, one can punch a nazi and then feed him to a troll.

        • fredoandme

          trolls gotta eat, too.

      • katkelly57

        You can punch a Nazi and feed a troll with a knuckle sammich….all with the same hand even.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Punch the NAZI was a briefly popular 50s arcade game, until James Jesus Angleton insisted it be replaced by Whack-a-Mole

      • fredoandme

        i don’t think i had ever heard of james jesus angleton until about 1 hour ago as i was watching oliver stone’s untold history of the u.s.

        talk about synchronicity. wow.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Wonkette — only the best in cultural references :-)

          • fredoandme

            apparently.

            la. di. da.

          • doktorzoom

            In reply to an offhanded question in DearShitferBrains yesterday — someone asked who’d be metal enough to get the first side-to-side cranial piercing — some smartass replied “Phineas Gage,” to which someone else replied, “He was metal AF.”

            And that is why I like it here.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dear Tim Allen,

    Your lifetime pass for Galaxy Quest has been revoked.

    Please dispose of it in a secure fashion.

    Regards,
    The World

  • therblig

    happy first day of spring! i love spring, ms. blig hates it. did anyone else have this book when they were kids? “When the Root Children Wake Up”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a0929a6332d48647f8ce46b2742cf16a607beeaa5fefb7a107520216d1f6b3bf.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, that reminds me of Max Reinhardt’s Midsummer Night’s Dream (1:20 gets you past Mickey Rooney to the unicorn, 1:50 gets you to the faerie folk). https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mlZ5oGibiDc

      • therblig

        they are both from the 1930’s. we take cgi for granted these days, but imagine what this must have seemed like to audiences back then.

    • Suse

      Nice illustration. I haven’t heard of this book.

    • katkelly57

      I was never a goat.

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      I am not familiar with this book, but it is beautiful!

  • BosGrl

    That truly made my day :)

  • Carpe Vagenda

    reclaiming the Aryan super-lad

    Is Milo’s autobiography out already?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Is that why he bleaches his hair?

  • MynameisBlarney

    “I supported the status quo.”

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028817789

  • schmannity

    “You gotta be real careful around here. You get beat up if you don’t believe what everybody else believes.”

    Now in my second week of trolling Infowars, all I can say is Am,en, brother.

  • snark-lurker

    I ain’t got no pants on.

    • schmannity

      A dog bites man story at your Wonkette.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Redundant around here.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Is using something intended as ironic in an unironic fashion the ultimate irony?

    Entitled right wing douchebags want to know. Oh wait, no they don’t They’re fine with it.

  • Jenny

    Reading Angry White Men. Tim Allen has made a career out of making the angry white men laugh. Oh the mexican wants a job, poor me! My wife was tired last night, poor me! My kids get tired of my bullshit complaining and full on hypocrisy! I’m being oppressed.

    • BosGrl

      Never liked Tim Allen. He seems like the guy in high school that was funny but with an angry undertone.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I thought the 1st few seasons of Home Improvement were funny, and Galaxy Quest was fuckin heeeelarious….

        But that’s about it.

        • BosGrl

          I like Home Improvement but because of everyone else :). I have to admit I’ve never seen Galaxy Quest.

        • Sardonicuss

          I liked everything about Galaxy Quest …but him. Tim making fun of the great Shatner is a hideous affront to acting in general.

          • hendenburg2

            Tim making fun of the great Shatner is a hideous affront to acting in general

            fixed

          • Sardonicuss

            If by fixed you mean ruined. Sure.

          • puredog

            “….the great Shatner…”?
            May not compute.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            aw, c’mon, Shatner is sui generis.

          • Sardonicuss

            Oh come on. Are we really going to rag on Shatner for being a ham? Being a ham is what made him great! …made Star Trek great!
            Tool Box dude isn’t fit to carry his boots…much less satirize his acting ability.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            but you know what about that? I’m pretty convinced that I wouldn’t be charmed by Shatner at all IRL, but I do kind of enjoy the way he owns the whole being a parody of himself thing. Boston Legal was epic.

            In Galaxy Quest, I really got why everyone hated that guy. I mean, I’m not philosophically opposed to Sigourney Weaver ending up with a douchebag (Ghostbusters, c’mon) but the big happily ever after in GQ felt perfect because if TV is real, obviously the paunchy douchebag sexist ends up with the leading lady who’s way out of his league because he was forced to do something heroic.

          • Sardonicuss

            Thats the deal. Shatner is a ham, knows he is a ham and has proudly owned it for years.
            He’s a force of nature. It is who he really is.
            Allen really wanted to do the role too take Shatner down a peg.
            He never was in any position to do any such thing. Shatner may be a ham…but Allen is a hack.

      • Crank Tango

        funny but with an angry undertone
        But you like us, right?

        • BosGrl

          Hahaha, different kind of angry.

    • Sardonicuss

      Unlike some I have seen since he opened his yap…I hated Tool Time, thought his stand up was insipid…and wasn’t thrilled to death with Toy Story.
      Much like Kelsey Grammar, Tim may be one of the luckiest morons to win the vagina lottery….born in exact right place at the exact right time: to turn stupidity into a generous living.

    • georgiaburning

      The main oppression he’s faced is that his fans are dropping dead without replacement. He’s worked the same shtick for almost 40 years.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    The Santa Clause 7: Return to Berlin

  • BadKitty904

    Yeah, about that…

    Let’s Revisit All Those Times Trump Surrogates Said You Can’t Elect Someone Under FBI Investigation
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-versus-hillary-fbi-investigation_us_58d01a73e4b0ec9d29de2c1e?

    • boyblue123

      projection

      • BadKitty904

        With Republicans? ALWAYS.

  • snark-lurker

    I have never pissed on an electric fence.

    • katkelly57

      How ’bout up a rope?

      • snark-lurker

        No & why would I?

        • katkelly57

          Thought you might have a hidden talent.

    • schmannity

      Any future Presidential candidates?

      • snark-lurker

        Well, my own shoe* a time or two & me not runnin for nuttin.

        **by accident

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

    That story warmed my cockles. Merry Vernal Equinox, y’all.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Thank you for that, Jason Kander – and John Kander!

    Come taste the wine
    Come hear the band
    Come blow that horn
    Start celebrating right this way
    Your table’s waiting
    What could permitting some prophet of doom
    To wipe every smile away
    Life is a cabaret, old chum
    So come to the cabaret

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    As is my wont, I went to Trader Joe’s today for some fine wine and Mandarin orange chicken. I looked around town and it’s like, the trees are just saying fuck it, we’re going to leaf out early.

    https://www.usanpn.org/data/spring/2017comparisons

    • Sardonicuss

      Did you see Lon Cheney? How was his hair?
      Oh wait….

      • katkelly57

        Ahhhh ooooooooooooooooooo….

    • therblig

      our big pot of hydrangeas got fooled a few weeks ago, but they may have been done in by the late snow and bitter cold. but, you never know, plants have that will to live that puts everything else to shame.

  • schmannity

    The only thing that can stop a bad guy with Nazi sympathies is a good Jewish guy with a husband?

    • Ricky Gay

      Kryptonite

    • Crank Tango

      Throw in a fine Desert Eagle and it’s a lead pipe cinch.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I think that pretty much nails it, actually.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    So, am I the only one who never found Tim Allen funny?

    • MynameisBlarney

      No.

    • BadKitty904

      Once I googled him to see who he was – nope.

    • proudgrampa

      No.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I never found him particularly unfunny, just sort of meh. But I always loved that he was the only TV dad in history who cast a son who ended up taller than him, unlike the usual trope of Dad-Tall, teenage sons short because fuck genetics, it’s all about power relationships.

    • JMP

      He was good in Galaxy Quest, and – that’s it. And there he was playing a self-centered moron who, while based on William Shatner, seems pretty close to the real Allen.

      Before people start going on about Toy Story, I know lots of folks love it and other Pixar films, but I thought it was just boring an unmemorable.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Galaxy Quest! Yes, I knew I was forgetting something. That was a great movie.

        The first Toy Story movie sucked. The others actually got a lot better.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Fresh Air weekend edition ran an old interview with Kander in honor of his birthday on Saturday. I run very hot and cold on Terry Gross (when she’s bad, she’s painfully bad) but it was a pretty good one, in no small part because he’s just a delightful person.

    • hendenburg2

      I know that I’ve been speed-reading far too much today because I initially read your opening as “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air weekend edition…”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        On the weekend, the Prince is even more Fresh.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      FWIW, I’ll take her over Charlie Rose any day of the week. I never understood why people think he’s a good interviewer.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Right? He manages to make even the most fascinating interviewees seem deadly dull, and he’s kind of a prick to boot.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          He’s never afraid to interrupt if an answer’s too interesting.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yeah, I watched a documentary about the Beastie Boys a while back, and they had a segment with Charlie Rose interviewing them.
          He was a total disrespectful douchebag.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Fantastic. I needed some content for the FB page I manage for a musical theater.

    • MississippiLefty

      Terry Gross libelz! LOVE her. LOVE her every time.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I used to be a bit of a superfan myself. I take it you haven’t listened to any of her interviews in which she tries to force an interviewee to talk about a topic they’ve already politely made clear is not something they’re willing to discuss.
        I can’t remember offhand who the woman was, but I remember being particularly disgusted by an interview a few years back where Gross was basically trying to bully a woman into discussing her sexuality and/or “admit” she was a lesbian.
        Not cool, Terry.

  • proudgrampa

    Hey! It’s Springtime!

    https://youtu.be/YlQfW9oK1G4

  • Vincent Ricola

    Tim Allen got busted in 1978 with a bunch of cocaine at an international airport and then turned on his fellow drug traffickers so he would only have to serve 2 years instead of a life sentence, but is now scared to admit he’s a proud trump-lover? Yeah. Okay.

    • proudgrampa

      He’s a Piece of Shit.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Wow. What an asshole who got famous making barking sounds at power tools.

      • katkelly57

        He still makes those noises on the casino circuit….that guy is up here in PNW just about every other month.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Hey, Trump was cool with Coke back then too.

      Now, his opinion on Coke is [sniff] debatable.

    • schmannity

      Hole Improvement.

  • schmannity

    I’ve never smoked crack or meth or ever watched Home Improvement.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Shut up! That doesn’t make you better than me!!!

      • Suttree

        I feel betterer about smoking crack and meth than watching Home Improvement.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          We were young!

          • Jenny

            Right? It was the middle class Al & Peg Bundy that my parents hoped one day they would be.

          • Suttree

            I also dated a Republican once. Much more shame from that than any drug use.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I had to try out lots of things. Turns out, all I like is weed!

      • Sardonicuss

        Feeling judged….

      • schmannity

        It is a short list.

    • katkelly57

      Watching would have given the same effect…just cheaper.

    • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

      I never watched Home Improvement. OK, maybe a few minutes once.

      • Jamoche

        Home Improvement was crack for anyone who ever wanted Norm Abram to call Bob Vila on his BS.

    • vh

      i’ve watched Home Improvement for years. Its fine. Its great. and I will not apologize for liking it. I’m the goofy do-it-all-yourself dad and i’m my own wilson, and there is a jill in my own life.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The biggest boob in the cast wasn’t one of mine.”
      — Pamela Anderson

    • hendenburg2

      You might want to be careful! The Oxford Comma just got a lot important

    • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

      Butt crack or crack cocaine?

    • JMP

      My little brother loved that show when he was a kid and I was a teen, and so I ended up seeing quite a bit of it and it was truly awful. Even Full House and Family Matters after it had been taken over by Urkel were at least watchable compared to it.

  • vh

    happy navroz y’all. i’m not even parsi. but good times are good times. no excuse not to party.

  • Jennifer R

    Worth pointing out: Tin Allen was arrested for felony drug trafficking. (A lot of coke up his butt on an airplane)

    • therblig

      to intestinal and beyond!!!!

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      “Looks like I picked the wrong day to shove a load of coke up my butt!” – Tim Allen

      • Jennifer R

        Does explain things though.

      • Sardonicuss

        “It was all his idea. All the coke I mean” -Tim Allen

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Boweling for Dollars?”

    • JMP

      And he managed to get a short time in jail in exchange for ratting out his fellow dealers, a privilege which I’m sure would be just as available to him if he weren’t a white guy.

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah he turned life in jail in to three and a half years.

  • Liberoid Ron

    Damn, that story hits all my happy spots this afternoon.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Happy Equinox, you heathens!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jAJQsq4ZOU
    This is the SFW version. Mostly.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Well I know what I’m doing tonight!

      • BeachBum

        Watchin Roadshow ?

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Despite literally reading ‘Roadshow’ out loud, to myself, just now. My brain insists you’re asking if I’m going to watch Roadhouse. To which the answer would be, no, that is my regular Saturday night thing, and it’s Monday.

      • hendenburg2
        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          No, but there will be a shark or something in a bag.

          • Jennifer R

            Does it have a friken laser on it’s head?

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Well it will NOW.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          Nope. Only a bear costume.
          http://i.imgur.com/EkVEs.gif

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s all good fun until someone gets mystically knocked up.

  • Crystalclear12

    You know, this covers what I want rant but far more coherent than I can manage:

    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/03/20/trump-russia-investigations-put-terrible-campaign-accusations-hillary-clinton.html

  • BeachBum

    I liked him in Galaxy Quest and Big Trouble. Thought HI was too preachy.

    • Crank Tango

      Big Trouble with Zooey Deschanel and her original face!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Did it move back then?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Wasn’t Big Trouble one of those movies that 9/11 did a number on?

      I haven’t seen it, but I read the book. It was just OK.

  • MississippiLefty

    They re-aired John Kander’s appearance on Fresh Air on Friday. He’s very charming.

  • katkelly57

    Happy 90th John!

  • I hate Illinois Nazis… Or wherever that shitheel is from. Fuck all of ’em.

    Both of my grandfathers used to kill Nazis, so anything short of that is Richard Spencer getting off light.

    • BadKitty904

      Same here. And amen.

    • Jennifer R

      My uncle lied about his age to kill them in Europe, he should be thrilled he is getting love taps instead of the alternative.

      • My grandfather on my mom’s side used his brother’s birth certificate (his brother died when he was about a month old and they recycled the name) so he could get over there early to kill the motherfuckers.

        • ahughes798

          My dad lied, but in the different direction. He was 24 when Pearl Harbor was attacked. He signed up the next day.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      My two uncles spent four years killing Nazis in Europe. Sadly, a lot of people in our country seem to be welcoming them back.

  • Crystalclear12

    He is a Missourian!

    We have so few I want claim let me bask.

  • TJ Barke

    Real Americans don’t vote for nazis. We shoot them. With votes or whatever…

    • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

      I’m pretty sure we didn’t use votes.

      • TJ Barke

        Yes well, rules…

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Bare knuckles to the face I think is the established method for dealing with Nazis.

        • Jennifer R

          I for one always grow tired of euphemisms, unless they serve to make people feel more uncomfortable.

      • Liberoid Ron

        My father used to talk now and then about his time in North Africa with the RAF, using Tomahawks as fighter-bombers. I did a bit of research and found out that they were never equipped to deliver votes. Disillusioning.

      • BadKitty904

        Granddad used a Bristol Type 156 Twin-Engine Beaufighter, aka, The Whispering Death

        • TJ Barke

          I’m pretty sure mine just used the tried and true m1 Garand.

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, it got the job done.

          • TJ Barke

            Patton described it as the greatest battlefield implement ever devised.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s STILL a fine weapon.

          • TJ Barke

            So is its offspring the M14 and its variations. At least so far as a designated marksman rifle.

          • Meccalopolis

            Mine too

    • BadKitty904
    • Jennifer R

      Worked on Rockwell.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    This was, indeed, a happy nice time. Ahhh. So soothing.How lovely to know John Kandor is alive, well, and happily partnered up.

  • JMP

    Of course Tim Allen is discriminated against, why it’s not like he currently has a really shitty sitcom which is basically All in the Family if the writers thought Archie Bunker was right about everything and should be admired which has managed to last six seasons despite being horrible or anything.

    • Sardonicuss

      You know, I had been spared seeing that until my cord cutting poorness put it up on my OTA ..on the CW? or some shit.
      Archie owns Bass Pro and his wife and daughters are librul idiots.
      Who likes this stupid shit?

  • mancityRed6

    OT: Nasty damn fire about 4 or 5 miles away:
    http://www.kctv5.com/clip/13187097/raw-firefighters-battle-massive-apartment-complex-blaze
    The apartment building was under construction. Embers have started at least 6 houses to catch fire as well.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I don’t remember that mythical time when Tim Allen was funny.

    • Suttree

      So you were never a ten year old boy?

  • Jamoche

    Tim Allen should consider that he’s totally replaceable in his big-bucks franchise; Patrick Warburton did the cel-style animation version of Buzz.

  • John Iwaniszek

    Nazis are so fucking stupid. But Spencer seems to have a special brand of stupid only a million dollars can buy you.

  • mimar

    I love Jason and the brilliant John Kander even more now. Thank you, John (and dear Fred), for the music I have loved my whole life long. And thank you, Jason, for the most humorous and satisfying burn of the day. Special greeting to your Other uncle. How great is America!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Tim Allen has gone completely off the rails since his neighbor, Wilson, died

  • Marceline

    I’m trying storebought edibles for the first time tonight. (In the past I’ve made my own cookies or brownies with varying degrees of success.) Wish me luck.

    • Sardonicuss

      Start small and ..wait for it.

      • Crank Tango

        ^^^^this^^^^

      • Marceline

        I learned that the hard way with my first attempt at brownies. I ended up crawling around on the floor with my ears ringing begging my cat to call 911.

        • Sardonicuss

          Thats just called “Doin the Dowd!”

        • TJ Barke

          That sounds both awful, and hilarious.

    • Yr. Gma

      My friend swears by them. She says they taste better than her homemade and are so much less trouble. This is in CA, of course.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Does your friend make butter? Makes for a huge (yooge!) improvement in taste.

        • Yr. Gma

          I don’t know. I’ll ask her. I don’t partake myself, but I have heard all about the various recipes over the years.

  • SheltonTodd

    What about Ralph Shortey of Oklahoma?

    Ralph is a right wing nut
    Who is fond of young male butt
    The room was a rockin’
    The cops started knockin’
    Just as he was preparing to putt

    Ralph’s life is now filled with gloom
    And a foreboding sense of doom
    The sage, wise advice
    Is to know the high price
    For getting caught with a boy in your room

    The advice that Ralph is needing
    Might affect how he’ll be pleading
    Regarding the boy
    He’ll try the old ploy
    “We were just having a Bible reading.”

    A staunch defender of our Constitution
    Has been charged with child prostitution
    There’s a price to be paid
    For paying to get laid
    That would be jail time, probation, and restitution

    • Jennifer R

      You are a master limerickist.

    • Shanzgood

      You forgot about the fetus flavoring.

  • Me not sure

    Nothing quite goes together like Nazis and show tunes. I’ll never forget the Berlin production of “Die Musik Man”. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9233ab8f071abc3cb77ab1869007e0040b7b569f39927c912396111e6409ecb5.jpg

    • Jennifer R

      Any band that uses helicons is suspect.

    • hendenburg2

      Funny, I thought that was “Haben Sie gehört das deutsche Band?”

    • Crank Tango

      Ew, I just looked up the Horst Wessel lied for shits n grins, and I don’t even think this is satirical. I don’t care to dig too deep into it.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57PM5zg4Olg

      • Me not sure

        Those are actually American members of the German-American bund from the late pre-war years in the picture I used. So no, not that funny when you consider we have always had a virulent Nazi presence here.

      • Nockular cavity

        Yikes, not only is that guy a nazi piece of shit, he can’t sing for shit and his lyrics stuck.

    • Liberoid Ron

      ♬ Sechsundsiebzig Posaunen in der großen Parade… ♬

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Hollywood is sort of like 1930s Germany, except that Jews are in charge.
    Other than that, it’s exactly the same.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      So it’s exactly like 1930s Hollywood

    • Me not sure

      Right down to the strange smokey looking air

  • Poly_Ester

    You look up chutzpah in a cheese-head dictionary and it shows a picture of Tim Allen.

    • Jennifer R

      Look up his pornstach mugshot.

      • Shanzgood

        NO!

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    Wonkers, I am halfway through S06 of The West Wing. It has gotten quite boring. Do I keep going? Are there many excitements to come? I’ve hear from folks on here that the last two seasons are bland, but I need some real advice.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      If nothing else, watch the Debate Episode with Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda from Season 7.

      • BosGrl

        If you want to sob over what our country should really look like :((

    • BosGrl

      The last 2 seasons are different in that they’re about the next president, but there are definitely some great moments.

    • Season 7 is the ’08 campaign but with more Josh

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        And I really could watch Alan Alda just read the phone book.

      • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

        That made me lol. Santos has already started on his hope and change stuff, just like the bestest president, Obama <3

    • Persistent Demme

      Is Jimmy Smits in it yet?
      He and Alan Alda really spice things up.

      (Both would be dream POTUS’ right about now.)

      • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

        Jimmy Smits is there but his campaign is just beginning, so I’m not quite sold on it yet.

        • Persistent Demme

          Then I would stick with it.
          Smitty is a sexy, sexy, candidate, he learns a lot, and there are some excitements to come.

        • Persistent Demme

          So sorry for any spoilers.
          (I didn’t think of that, cause I was in a hurry.)

          • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

            Oh psh, don’t worry about it. I’m not super concerned with spoilers on The WW

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Persistent Demme

      I will forever love Alan Cumming for this.
      Saw this production of Cabaret in NY, (hadn’t seen the movie), was shocked by the ending, and cried like a baby.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • CeeQ

    Best burn ever.

  • Deadpool

    I gotta be honest, after the last couple years and hearing Tim Allen’s right wing views, I can’t look at Toy Story the same way again. I guess Tom Hanks evens it out?

    • TJ Barke

      Galaxy Quest either…

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I just remember that he’s doing a really broad Shatner parody there, and it helps.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Not that broad. I’m really like that.”
          — William Shatner

          • Liberoid Ron

            Shatner is smart enough to know that he really is a scenery chewer, and a good enough entertainer to say what the hell and run with it.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I always did find his rapport with James Spader on whatever that show was to be rather entertaining.

          • Lambsendbeds

            Boston Legal. They were funny together.

          • Sardonicuss

            This^^

          • Latverian Diplomat

            And unlike the Captain in galaxy quest, he was able to have something of a career after the show.

        • therblig
      • Lambsendbeds

        I’m sorry I know that. Galaxy Quest is one of my favorite movies. It rings all the buttons for me: Trekkie, science fiction conventions, Alan Rickman, and it renews my fantasy that Firefly could come back from the dead. *sobs*

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    Coming this fall: Richard Spencer in “The Saddest Little Nazi”!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0Ex0h0heuV5fqFeU/giphy.gif

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I do. Every single time.

      • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

        Me too. Are you sure we shouldn’t?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          You’re right. I like to think I’m above solving problems or expressing frustration/anger with fisticuffs, but on the other hand, Nazi. Fuck ‘im.
          LOL on, wonkers!

    • Deadpool

      Always so satisfying.

    • schmannity

      He takes a lickin’ and keeps on hatin’.

    • maxneanderthal

      I just realised where the little gobshite got his hairstyle from. Fiennes in “Schindler’s List” anyone?

      • Jamoche

        I thought Hitler without the mustache.

        • tomamitai

          A lot of soldiers on both sides in WWI had that haircut, something to do with wearing gas masks, I think.

        • therblig

          eva braun without the style

    • hendenburg2

      after much, much studying, I have to conclude that that wasn’t even a real punch.

      Seriously. The guy’s entire forearm makes contact with the nazi.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Wrasslin’ punch.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      His Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill.

      • Nockular cavity

        Luckily the Karma Police caught up with him that time.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • vh

    I like Tim Allen. In sum total, he made something of his own circumstances personally. And from my own understanding of his writing in HI & LMS, he at the very least seems capable of asserting his assumptions, subjecting them to ridicule and doubt. That’s more than fair and really ballsy IMVHO.

    • Yr. Gma

      Made something of his own circumstances?

      • vh

        yes he did.

      • Sardonicuss

        He made a career out of selling out his buddy in a coke deal gone bad.
        Not exactly Horatio Alger….

    • What Pierre said

      Well, considering Tim Allen wrote 14 out of 203 (I think) episodes of Home Improvement (I don’t know about LMS) and wasn’t one of the named creators of the show, I don’t know how much influence he and his “circumstances” had on the direction of the show.

      • vh

        did not know that. thanks. in the end it was goofy & wholesome and tim was never shy to be subject of all the parables. i may be naive but i really dont find anything wrong with HI.

        • What Pierre said

          There’s nothing wrong with liking what you like. I just wanted to point out that it is likely much of the self-mockery evident in the show was not directly due to Allen’s creativity, or even preference, but from other writers who had the talent and wit to know that making fun of the Tim Allen persona would result in a goofy and wholesome product. Tim Allen, whatever his personal opinion about the way the product turned out (which I only know from personal anecdote) made a lot of money from the show, something he probably did not object to

  • Let’s not forget that fucking Tim Allen narced like 2 dozen people out selling coke so he could stay free and begin his illustrious career.

    http://defamer.gawker.com/remember-when-tim-allen-almost-got-a-life-sentence-for-1682644188

    • Sardonicuss

      Gotta hate a rat – Everybody

    • Sheepshagger

      “I can’t believe a low level coke dealer was duplicitous!”

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Earlier I had some chicken and had to leave the dogs alone in the room with it, but because of the look I gave them, they did not go near it. A little later I had an apple and one, “No!” convinced the one who had approached me to go to the other side of the couch so if you sexually assault someone you are literally stupider than my roommates’ dogs.

    • zerosumgame0005

      pretty much. how many doggies? pics?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I guess it’s tough for conservatives to accept that people are waking up to the fact that their dogma is bullshit.

  • Deadpool

    Also, Richard Spencer was apparently so happy that the Patriots won the Super Bowl because they are “America’s whitest team” despite the fact that he ignores one of their star wide receivers is Jewish and the team’s owner is also Jewish. Oops.

  • Reximus
    • Deadpool

      Tonight, on Tales From the Crypt…

    • But your boss is under FBI and probably NSA investigation. Nothing to see here! Lalallalalalalal!

    • vh

      Waves fervently. Hi KaC. Sounds familiar? Any thoughts? Hello? *Stands on toes & waves*

      • vh

        *Stands on sofa*

    • Marceline

      As if that bitch knows any honest people.

      • Liberoid Ron

        She might have spotted one in passing.

      • She’s GOP, so probably not

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        She pretended to know Hillary. Does that count?

        • Liberoid Ron

          No.
          – Hillary

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Rubber/glue.

    • puredog

      burn

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Did they know about the investigation into them? Because they are notorious for projection.

    • Snopes Shop

      Is that even English?

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Mike Pence has been quite silent lately. Must be working on his 2018 SOTU address.

  • puredog

    That Spencer/Kander smackdown makes worthwhile the 5,087,387 hours I have spent on Wonkette in the last short while, otherwise a dicey proposition.

    • Juan de Fuca

      That was like the Twitter equivalent of Tyson v. Spinks.

  • proudgrampa

    So. Besides Tim Allen and Nazis, who else were we talking about?

    Oh, yeah. Spencer. Who he?

    • Jamoche

      Mr Backpfeifengesicht.

      • proudgrampa

        Definitely describes Trump. With votes, of course!

    • BosGrl

      I miss Robert Urich.

    • TJ Barke

      America’s preeminent pseudo intellectual legitimizer of naziism.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Or preemergent?

        • TJ Barke

          Nazi scum no matter how you slice it.

    • Juan de Fuca

      A guy who loses at life, PG.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Maybe if you quit waving your snitzel at them …

  • Deadpool

    OT: So apparently Tomi Lahren has been suspended from The Blaze for saying that she is pro choice. This is literally the one reasonable thing I have ever heard her say, but perhaps maybe now she will sit down and think about what she says before running her mouth about black lives matter or American history she knows nothing about.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/03/20/conservatives-turn-on-pundit-tomi-lahren-after-she-says-she-is-pro-choice-on-the-view/

    • Jamoche

      More likely she’ll think about what she says before she goes against the party line.

      • puredog

        Sez that Richard Spencer has her back. Something something doggy-style something argle bargle.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      So, there’s the Blaze who suspend her for going against orthodoxy, and there’s Lahren, who’s probably only pro-choice because she’s a woman of childbearing age and thus it affects her, personally.

      #teamnoone

      • Deadpool

        It’s almost like the people who tell women or black people or gay people how to react to these things have no idea what it’s like until they’ve experienced it personally!

    • clubseal

      … maybe now she will sit down and think about what she says before running her mouth about black lives matter or American history she knows nothing about absolutely nothing.

      • TJ Barke

        She already thinks absolutely nothing…

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    So, Spencer is aware of what happened to little douches like that one in his video?

    Hint: it rhymes with “shmallow grave in Russia.”

  • zerosumgame0005

    what Tim really means is “Not hired because asshole who keeps getting in peoples faces”

    • Deadpool

      I noticed this. Stacey Dash and Scott Baio and now Tim Allen go on about how they think being a conservative celebrity who supports Trump means you’ll never get work again, but they never stop to consider that maybe they don’t get work anymore because they have no talent? I mean Clint Eastwood is a Trump supporter but he still does stuff.

      • Marceline

        Angie Harmon, Kelsey Grammer, and Robert Downey Jr. are all open conservatives and they have healthy careers.

        • Deadpool

          In Tony Stark..uh..I mean Robert Downey Jr’s case, he has at least come out against Trump as well.

        • puredog

          ROBERT DOWNEY JR.? (sobs) I dinna know.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
    • shastakoala

      Very cute

    • Lambsendbeds

      Papillons ! They’re beautiful! Whose are they?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        My new roommate’s. You probably noticed that the brown one’s ears are fit for a Pokemon.

        • Lambsendbeds

          Those beautiful ears are the hallmark of the Papillon. They are supposed to resemble a butterfly’s wings, hence the name ( Papillon is French for butterfly). They are usually smart little suckers, very high energy. They make excellent obedience and agility dogs.

    • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

      Somewhere, there’s a Roomba shaking with fear…

    • zerosumgame0005

      ah thanks! this thread really needs more animals!

  • Suse

    Ivanka Trump, who moved to Washington, D.C., saying she would play no formal role in her father’s administration, is now officially setting up shop in the White House.

    The powerful first daughter has secured her own office on the West Wing’s second floor — a space next to senior adviser Dina Powell, who was recently promoted to a position on the National Security Council. She is also in the process of obtaining a security clearance, and is set to receive government-issued communications devices this week.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/ivanka-trump-white-house-236273

    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh for fucks sake.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Literally?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Um…figuratively?

        • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

          So. You went there. I’ll go you one farther – wouldn’t it make more sense to set up shop at Mar-a-Lago?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “She is also in the process of obtaining a security clearance, and is set to receive government-issued communications devices this week.”

      Obamaphones!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Is she going to get a salary?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        All the graft she can grift?

        • zerosumgame0005

          setting up a sweat-shop where the bowling alley was? allegedly!

          • Latverian Diplomat

            This cheap crap ain’t gonna glue itself together!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Side bets on how long before she gets busted sending nude pics to Justin Trudeau?

    • Sardonicuss

      May she rot in an adjoining well appointed cell right next to his then.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I notice she positioned herself where daddy wasn’t likely to visit.

    • Liberoid Ron

      The family’s mere presence has permanently stained the White House. Letting Ivanka put in a gift shop couldn’t possibly do any more damage.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From No Sympathy for the Hillbilly
    Democrats need to stop trying to feel everyone’s pain, and hold on to their own anger, by Frank Rich:

    “Perhaps it’s a smarter idea to just let the GOP own these intractable voters. Liberals looking for a way to empathize with conservatives should endorse the core conservative belief in the importance of personal responsibility. Let Trump’s white working-class base take responsibility for its own votes — or in some cases failure to vote — and live with the election’s consequences. If, as polls tell us, many voters who vilify Obamacare haven’t yet figured out that it’s another name for the Affordable Care Act that’s benefiting them — or if they do know and still want the Trump alternative — then let them reap the consequences for voting against their own interests. That they will sabotage other needy Americans along with them is unavoidable in any case now — at least until voters stage an intervention in an election to come.

    Trump voters should also be reminded that the elite of the party they’ve put in power is as dismissive of them as Democratic elites can be condescending. “Forget your cheap theatrical Bruce Springsteen crap,” Kevin Williamson wrote of the white working class in National Review. “The truth about these dysfunctional, downscale communities is that they deserve to die. Economically, they are negative assets. Morally, they are indefensible.” He was only saying in public what other Republicans like Mitt Romney say about the “47 percent” in private when they think only well-heeled donors are listening. Besides, if National Review says that their towns deserve to die, who are Democrats to stand in the way of Trump voters who used their ballots to commit assisted suicide?

    So hold the empathy and hold on to the anger.”

    • Jamoche

      I suspect there are far more pundits telling us to “feel everyone’s pain” than there are people actually doing it. Everyone I know has been angry since Colbert’s live election night show.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’ve been trying to talk sense to these idiots for years. The only thing that’s going to wake them up is if they get their government benefits actually cut by Republicans. That’s why Republicans always start out saying they’re going to balance the budget, then run up huge debts through tax cuts, because they never actually have the balls to cut government spending, since everyone loves socialism, even the people who are too stupid to realize they love socialism.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know, only Frank Rich would deviate from the Times’ party line [people to the left of Attila the Hun need to stop opposing the fascist guy because we should be on our knees to the sturdy economically insecure upper middle class yeomen of the soil] by going straight to [fuck ’em, they’re trash]. Middle ground maybe?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’ve been saying “fuck ’em” for years. There’s no way to appeal to morons who are convinced Hillary Clinton personally murdered Ben Ghazi, and that we need a holy war in Israel, so they can get raptured.

        • vivian

          I think there are a lot of Americans who legitimately feel left out/left behind by the economic twists and turns of the past 20 years. I think they are idiots for falling for Trump’s bullshit, but we have not as a society done a whole helluva lot to help them change their fortunes either. If we don’t fix that problem, then we will have to keep dealing with bad decisions made by angry people. I’m not excusing their behavior, but if we don’t understand it and try to fix the underlying causes, it won’t change.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Spoken like a true Democrat. :-)

            I’ve been screwed over economically, but at least I was smart enough to figure out who was bending me over.

            My own personal belief is that eventually we are going to have to guarantee a personal minimum income, and universal health care. There’s nothing like crowds of angry, hungry, hopeless people to bring about “political change” with sharp, pointy votes.

          • Persistent Demme

            I have heard this a lot, and I understand what you’re saying, but I’m done with the Trumpanzees. I don’t want to understand or fix anything for them.

            There have been those who felt left out, but they haven’t all voted against their self-interests and put this POS into office.

            THEY are worth fighting for.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            I agree, but we’ve been trying to help them and fix the underlying causes for twenty years! They keep voting for the people who don’t want to help them. It doesn’t matter what you and I understand, it’s what they want to believe. Liberals are trash. Unions are unAmerican. Profit is king. I got mine, F.U. On and on and on. I don’t know the answer, and I truly want all of America to succeed, but I am afraid we will just have to drag many of our fellow Americans kicking and screaming into the light.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Well, in fairness, only fossils who summer with the lesser Sulzberger and @maggienyt believe that.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I’m still waiting for the red staters to come to NYC or LA and learn about our anxiety and fears. Apparently we are not real people in real America

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        There are lots and lots of Red Staters and “downstaters” in the Blue enclaves, who now vote Democratic. There is a reason for this.

    • Shanzgood

      Let them die?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was reading another article yesterday, where the author was saying “the good news is that the GOP will LITERALLY be killing their own base if they go forward with their health care plan.” It’s a shame they will be dragging other people down with them, but they just can’t seem to help voting against their own interests.

        I noticed you changed your name a while back, but did not make the connection with Baconzgood. Someone told me today you two had formed another WonkaSexUnit. This place is a real hot bed of sexxxiness. Molotov!

        • puredog

          Where’s mine? (N.B.: I’d prefer a Hawaiian I could move in with.)

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I think we’d ALL like a Hawaiian we could move in with. If Republicans keep pushing their agenda, we all may be longing for the Canadian of our dreams.

        • Rick Hill

          The sexitimes? It is a lie…

        • Shanzgood

          Er…yeah, but no WonkaSexUnit yet though. That’s gonna have to wait a while.

          • Dazza

            WonkaSexUnits minimum size is one. Wonking is healthy and keeps a body sane.

      • Marceline

        Sadly, yes. It’s like addiction. You can’t save people from their own self destructive impulses so better to mitigate the damage they can do to the innocent.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          My feeling is that they are sociopaths who do not think they have a problem. They believe, honestly believe, that we, the people who feel empathy and love for others, are lying about those positive emotions since they cannot experience them themselves.

    • Shibusa
  • PixieThis

    It’s either the eve of Spring or punch a nazi day – so I think it should be both.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I sort of bitched about Scott Adams to some one who had posted one of his cartoons here on Wonkette. The non-commenter gently pointed out to me that it was perfectly acceptable to enjoy someone’s art while deploring the artist. I gotta go with that and early Tim Allen work. Late Tim Allen is another story.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Sometimes known as the Polanski doctrine.

      If you wait until they’re safely dead, it’s known as the Richard Wagner doctrine.

      • hendenburg2

        I was gonna say the Woody Allen Doctrine

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Another cromulent name.

          Thomas Jefferson doctrine works in the safely dead case also.

      • Shanzgood

        What doctrine is it where you WISH they would die so you could go back to enjoying their art like you used to before it was known they were sexual predators?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          The Bill Cosby Doctrine? (Umm, with votes?)

        • hendenburg2

          The Votes Doctrine?

        • Me not sure

          See Chuck Berry above.☝

          • ahughes798

            Was Chuck Berry a paedophile? The only dirt I heard on him was that he really liked to have women poop on him(video exists).

          • Me not sure

            He had a Mann Act violation resulting in prison time in 1959, a tax issue or two, and a hidden camera in the ladie’s room of his restaurant case that he settled.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          The grad school thesis doctrine.

      • MississippiLefty

        As a woman reader of 19th century French lit I call it the Almost Everybody doctrine…

      • tomamitai

        Could be the Chuck Berry doctrine or the Elvis doctrine also, too, if you prefer rock ‘n roll to opera. I almost included Jerry Lee Lewis in there, but he’s not dead, yet.

    • hendenburg2

      Well, the good news is a ton of those big syndicated comic strips are usually done by a bunch of ghost writers/drawers nowadays. So there’s a good chance that any particular shared Dilbert is not by Scott Adams

  • WiscoJoe

    I’m not sure what’s worse… Richard Spencer missing the irony of “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” or Sam Mendes’ turning the Emcee into a sympathetic victim of the Nazis as opposed to their menacing harbinger. (Damn you, Mendes! Your revival is so fucking amazing, except for that ludicrously ridiculous revision that left me thinking you really didn’t understand the point of the show.)

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Can’t he be both?

      • WiscoJoe

        He’s a fictional character, so sure, he can be whatever the director wants. But… BUT… Kander and Ebb were exploring the role of popular culture and propaganda in helping fascism spread in Weimar Germany, I guess you could say that the Emcee is seducing the country into fascism, but doesn’t realize it so he becomes a victim of his own decadence, but that would be like saying Riefenstahl is a “victim” of Nazism as well, because she didn’t realize what she was doing.

        I think the show works much better if the audience feels complicit by the end of Act II, rather than feeling sympathetic. It worked in the original production, it worked in the film adaptation. I get that Mendes is trying to turn the Emcee into some sort of misunderstood, transgressive queer figure, but I also find it kind of offensive. It panders to the audience, rather than criticizes them, which is what Kander and Ebb intended. Remember the original production (and movie) ends with a literal mirror reflecting the audience (which is predominantly made up of Nazis). The revival puts the audience in the position of victims or survivors, which is probably more palatable (and accurate for 90s era audiences) but it also misses the point.

        I could go on about this forever (and I have). Anyway, I love the Mendes’ revival overall, I just strongly disagree with his revisionist portrayal of the Emcee.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Ah, but, I’m seeing the emcee as more of a gamergate bro who got into it for the lulz and didn’t realize until far too late that his extravagant irony wasn’t as zipless as he thought it was.

          • WiscoJoe

            Yeah, I can see how it works that way. It’s a “revisionist” revival for a reason. I still don’t think that portrayal makes sense. I guess I’m just a Cabaret Truther.

            And don’t even get me started on how the song “Cabaret” is actually entirely about a women deciding to get an abortion and how it drives me nuts when I hear it performed out of context. I could be at a cheesy casino watching some lame floor show and I’d be the guy in the back screaming out “This song is about abortion! It’s not fun! Stop having fun! The lyrics literally reference a prostitute dying of a drug overdose. Why are you smiling?”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I have an uncle who was always very insistent that Liza Minelli was way too obviously talented to play Sally.

      • WiscoJoe

        Also (sorry I’m slightly obsessed with this topic as it hits all my buttons), during the finale of Cabaret the Emcee comes out dressed in an SS uniform and does the whole “Papers Please” bit with Cliff. For the Emcee to then strip away the Nazi attire and reveal a concentration camp prisoners’ uniform is, IMHO, really, really stupid and borderline offensive. It just doesn’t make sense in terms of the internal logic of the show. When the Emcee ends the show by saying “See, I told you life is beautiful,” the implication is that a) The Nazi’s actually think this shit is beautiful and b) that the Emcee has tricked the audience into going along with it until it’s too late. To have the Emcee in the concentration camp saying “life is beautiful” doesn’t make sense. The Nazis and their enablers are supposed to be the delusional ones, not the people heading to the gas chambers.

        OMG it’s been almost 20 years and I’m still upset about this…

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Me not sure

    I don’t know if anyone has said goodbye to Chuck Berry with this song, but it seems to be a good fit here. RIP, you duck walkin’ fool!
    https://youtu.be/UaEC-lWSlmI

  • Lefty Frizzell

    But, but, Tim Allen didn’t keep it to himself, and nothing happened to him. What gives?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Not getting you is how they get you. It’s like Catch-22, or something.”
      — Tim Allen

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      The Democrats are fighting with each other about who’s gonna lead the death squad. You know how we do.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Jill Stein is always insisting the death squad be circular.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I wish she would go away.

    • azeyote

      during his tool time and crystal meth days he was quite chatty then too –

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Silly wabbit. At great personal risk to himself he managed to smuggle his dissent onto the fucking Jimmy Kimmel show. Which is just like samisdat.

  • Deadpool

    Steve Bannon: *Sees the Mucinex monster*

    Steve Bannon: Hey, I like this guy. True Patriot and American hero.

  • zerosumgame0005

    I know everyone was thinking about! also by a joo!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPXHRX8Q2hs&ytbChannel=DCR14

    • zerosumgame0005

      and the one with the pretzels! oh, who couldn’t like that…

  • Shibusa
    • BadKitty904

      How apt.

      2 Months In, Trump May Already Own a First: Most Corrupt POTUS. Ever.
      Ethics experts cannot think of a predecessor more ready to use the prestige of the office for personal gain.
      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-most-corrupt_us_58cdb2f0e4b0ec9d29dc879d?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Dear Mr President,
      Suck my lady dick.

      Yours in Christ,
      Vagenda and Pee-ara

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “Dear Mr. President,

      [The following has been censored for sexual, violent, and profoundly disturbing messages and imagery].

      Regards,
      Dr. Rrrrrobotnik, Esq.”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Will he side with Freedonia or Sylvania if the go to war?

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        “The Sylvanian Vampires are just wonderful people, just phenomenal, and I’m a close personal friend of the Von Carsteins. I built several classy buildings in Drakenhof myself.”

    • zerosumgame0005

      that could not have ended well :P

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      He’s committed more impeachable offenses, slander, and outright criminal behavior in office than I thought was physically possible. He should be in prison and he’s probably a traitor. Would that fit in a tweet?

    • puredog

      Are there Rules for NBC Commenting Radicals? Asking for a friend.

  • Chadwells

    STFU Nunes….you smarmy piece of shit!!!

    “GOP Warns Comey About Cloud Over Trumpland”

    http://www.rollcall.com/news/white-house-tries-deflect-comey-confirmation-russia-probe

    • Sophia

      “In a related lighter moment when reporters were allowed into the Oval Office, Trump declined to answer questions about the alleged wiretapping. Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi, according to a poll report, grabbed Trump’s arm and quipped, “We had nothing to do with the wiretap.”

      • Chadwells

        LOL!!!

  • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

    Way OT, but did anyone else in the East Bay (Suse?) hear that thunderclap about 1:30 this afternoon? I ’bout crapped my pants! Wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be an explosion at the army training base not far away.

  • Sophia
    • Yr. Gma

      She knows two honest people?

      • puredog

        She’s seen them, but they cross the street to avoid her.

  • Fartknocker

    I hereby declare those moments when Tim Allen decides to pontificate about his political proclivities are henceforth known as Tool Time, since he’s a tool, and I’m not talking about a device to provide mechanical aid.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Seriously I had no idea what his politics are. He’s just not all that funny.

      • janecita

        His show was seriously unfunny.

  • Christopher Boscarino
    • janecita

      Obviously, those illiterate morons have never, ever read a Jane Austen novel!

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Obviously, those illiterate morons have never, ever read a Jane Austen novel!

        FTFY

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Slightly OT- when I was a kid, every time I said I was bored my mother would tell me to read Pride and Prejudice. About 10 years after she died, in the throes of an existential crisis of boredom I picked up her copy and read it. And then read it again immediately. And then read all the rest of the novels. I’ve read them 20 times each at this point, even Northanger Abbey.

      tldr: Listen to your mother. Your mother is always right.

      • LucindathePook

        Catherine Moreland is one of my faves, and she gets to marry Henry Tilney, who is a doll. If I had to pick one to only read 15 times, it would be Mansfield Park–it took me quite a few readings to warm up to Fanny Price at all.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Hah- I hate Fanny Price, the insufferable little prig.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Well, there’s my what the hell news for today. That almost requires knowing incorrect facts about Austen, not even just not knowing about her! They are all so ignorant.

    • therblig

      It is a truth universally acknowledged that a basement dwelling virgin in possession of a cheeto and tear stained penis must be in want of a sex doll.

    • Perkniticky

      I went no farther than the headline. I really don’t want to know.

    • A apologise for my country giving rise to Milo Hanrahan (aks Milo Yiannopolous)

  • janecita
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      janecita always arrives with wonderous graphics. I must assume she (he?) toils away at the controls of the Shop de la Photo.

      • janecita

        I’m a girl:-) I’m good at “borrowing” them.

  • Chadwells

    Let’s…

    “Let’s Revisit All Those Times Trump Surrogates Said You Can’t Elect Someone Under FBI Investigation”

    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58d01a73e4b0ec9d29de2c1e

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Crank Tango

      Per-Fek.

      “Snitches get stiches,”
      GOP motto since just now.

    • BadKitty904

      Apt.

  • Anna Rompage

    Visiting my home town and could not pass up the opportunity to hit the In & Out Burger!

    I still don’t know how they can sell this for $4, and pay their employees a pretty decent wage, when places like McDonalds that have much cheaper supply chain pay minimum wage and serve shitty food…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0bc3ba489be3f788d0085d032ab1d29a8ff32e246d6170f27f968548dbd8ffac.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      I wish we had one down here.

    • Yr. Gma

      Double cheese! Part of the In-N-Out thing is the very limited menu. That keeps costs down. If you can get by the Bible verses thing, it’s a great place.

    • Crank Tango

      Mmm, I could go for a 3×3 (I used to do 4×4 but my jaw doesn’t really unhinge so good)…

      But I haz the fats…probably due to, well, see above.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Wow. I might to try one of those. As for pricing. Corporate overhead/cut, including an insane advertising budget, might be the difference.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      ANIMAL FRIES FTW!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I was just about to non comment that!

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          We weep for the poor, uninitiated Wonkers who have not yet tasted the gloriousness that are animal fries.

          • Lambsendbeds

            I am one of those unedjicamated Wonkers. What, pray tell, are animal fries?

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Artery clogging heaven. Also known as fries with grilled onions, cheese and sauce (essentially Thousand Island) on them.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ugh…
            I’ll pass.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Which part? AOTK?

          • MynameisBlarney

            The onions and 1000 Island…

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Ah, the good parts. Pity they don’t taste good to you.

          • MynameisBlarney

            They do…just…not at the same time.

    • janecita

      That looks so good!

    • therblig

      does it come with the old moloko?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUNOJtfYKcQ

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      BECAUSE THEY RULE!!!!

    • tomamitai

      How the hell do you get something that big in your mouth, are you part Boa constrictor?

  • Jamoche

    Another Trump lawsuit:
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Ivanka-Trump-brand-sued-by-San-Francisco-fashion-11013425.php
    “Ivanka Trump brand sued by San Francisco fashion retailer over unfair competition”

    The lawsuit claims Ivanka Trump Marks, LLC, has gained an unfair advantage in the marketplace “from Donald J. Trump being the President of the United States and from Ivanka Trump and her husband, Jared, working for the President of the United States.”

  • Alan

    I heard an interview with Spencer on the radio yesterday and I was surprised that he actually sounded pretty stupid. I just assumed you had to be fairly eloquent to impress people. I guess that’s only true if the people you’re talking to have a brain.

    • Liberoid Ron

      He only has to impress other Nazis. Not much brain is required for THAT.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      You’ve been hanging out with us too much. Some people (us) are impressed by eloquence and intelligence. Some people (like Spencer’s fanbase) like their echo chamber.

      • janecita

        That reminds me of my daughter’s Spanish homework. Her teacher asked her to describe herself, her answer was, “Yo soy absolutamente perfecta.”

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Bien.

      • On the other hand, if you use big words and smile, you can insult the hell out of them and they think you’re complimenting them.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Like talking to a doggie?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Dude’s job is quite literally just to run out the clock until the next scandal. Whereupon he runs out the clock til the next one, and on and on. You don’t have to be smart to fill the space with noise.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Hard to believe he graduated from UVa and was, briefly, a grad student at Duke.

  • Liberoid Ron
  • Deadpool

    I remember when I first learned about WW2 and what life was like for my Italian grandparents under Mussolini and thought to myself, “I sure am glad those Nazis and fascists were defeated and we all live in harmony now”.

    Geez, what a naive little boy I was.

    • Persistent Demme

      We have an Italian friend that always, (without fail), refers to him as “that BASTARD Mussolini.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      But my nonna had two children visiting family in Italy when the war started — the church hall burned down mysteriously so the fascisti couldn’t check the birth records and figure out who the American children were — and she went to her grave, as a 99 year old passionate fan of Reagan, convinced that the communists made up all the bad stories about Mussolini.

      She had to drop out of school at 12 when her father died to raise her siblings and he made it mandatory for her nieces and nephews to be educated. She could never get past that.

      • Deadpool

        Thankfully most of my family didn’t like him. He wasn’t so popular in Sicily as he was in the mainland from what I’ve heard.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      And nothing like this will ever happen again, because we learned our lesson and America and all that.

      • Deadpool

        I wish that were true. They say those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it, but those who do know their history seem doomed to watch others repeat it.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Me too. I really never thought we would be where we are now. Saw Eddie Izzard a couple of weeks ago, and he talked a lot about times civilization has moved significantly backward.

  • Portia McGonagal

    I’m sure Tim Allen can take care of himself after those 2.5 years he spent in prison.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Wow. I always drive by that place and never knew it was a prison.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Zonath

      We already thought that.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I can haz Hillary nao plz

  • schmannity

    The failing Trump Administration. Not so sad!

    • BadKitty904

      It ain’t over ’til he’s in prison. At least.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Donald Trump is the very definition of a Fartknocker

    • Fartknocker

      HEY! That’s not nice. I would make a much better leader of the world than that gold-platted shitgibbon.

      • Crystalclear12

        Of course you would.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        But to be fair, a ________ would make a better leader of the world.

        Ok everyone – go! There’s your afternoon/evening entertainment.

        • Sardonicuss

          ….sentient skunk, with a vocabulary of 250 words and a gallon of cheap vodka?

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Correct.

        • Jamoche

          Maybe not better, but equal:
          http://www.theverge.com/2016/3/24/11297050/tay-microsoft-chatbot-racist

          …Microsoft unveiled Tay — a Twitter bot that the company described as an experiment in “conversational understanding.” The more you chat with Tay, said Microsoft, the smarter it gets, learning to engage people through “casual and playful conversation.”

          Unfortunately, the conversations didn’t stay playful for long. Pretty soon after Tay launched, people starting tweeting the bot with all sorts of misogynistic, racist, and Donald Trumpist remarks. And Tay — being essentially a robot parrot with an internet connection — started repeating these sentiments back to users, proving correct that old programming adage: flaming garbage pile in, flaming garbage pile out.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            That might explain the Orange Dingus – were there prototypes of this in semi-human looking skin suits made?

      • Don’t do yourself down , a sloth with encephalitis lethargica would do a better job than Lord Dampnut

  • The case for the prosecution expertly voiced (may have been posted before
    https://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman/status/843939089086726144

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      This is OUR rep, Adam Schiff, and he has been absolutely heroic through all of this! Go California!

    • Sardonicuss

      So awesome to get that into the congressional record.
      Let the perjury…or the ship fleeing begin.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      What a walk down nightmare lane. Jesus. It’s unbelievable.

  • memzilla Ω

    We want to end the day with a triumph of the wit that played out…

    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e40040fb8bdc8416e8c45ad214a989a7407ff1cf2d0130ec1c73c20ef2c04f88.png

  • Amelia

    I’ve never been good at the whole separating art from artist thing, so I’m just going to pretend the Tim Allen from Toy Story was a different, less idiotic person.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He was reading a script into a microphone, so I’m backing you up with that.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      With a little effort, you can misremember it as being Patrick Warburton, if that helps.

      • tomamitai

        Brock Samson libelz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!

        • TJ Barke

          Walking Swedish murder machine

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Hey, if Jon Benjamin can do both Bob Belcher and Sterling Archer…

        • Fun with Cthulhu

          Molotov Cocktease agrees.

      • janecita

        I love Patrick Warburton, I hope that he isn’t a right winger!

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          He probably is as he is religious and has spoken about that, but also has not really said much about actual politics. But there’s also no way I’m googling him to check because I just don’t want to know.

          Not that I can’t enjoy things made my people who are conservative, of course I can. I just really don’t want to know that he’s worn a Make America Great hat or some nonsense.

          He does have a rep as being both very cool and generally easy to work with, as well as being a hard worker, if that helps.

          I know a lot of useless things.

          • therblig

            he was gonna let elaine go to hell

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Puddy must have been a knockout in the sack, because as hilarious as I found that character, I could never quite figure out why even someone with Elaine’s terrible taste would keep him around in a boyfriend way.
            And I say that as a woman with an illustrious track record of crappy taste in men.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          He’s a devout Catholic but he doesn’t seem like a kook.

          http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/04/AR2010030404737.html

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Isn’t OHJB a pretty devout Catholic as well? Or is that just another of my mother’s many delusions?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Yes, he is pro-choice though (In the “I would not impose my beliefs on others” sense), so that’s rubbed a few prominent bishops the wrong way.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ugh, fuck those guys. Alpaca mom looooves Timothy Dolan because she met him a few times and thinks “he’s just the kindest man”. Right. So that’s why he threatened to excommunicate a bunch of nuns just because they suggested maybe the church should concern themselves a little less with reproductive rights and when they were told to stfu by Dolan and his ilk they refused to back down. How very kind of him.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    And the grifting continues:

    Ivanka Trump now has West Wing office, full-time gig. She is seeking clearance & a government phone. by @anniekarni: https://t.co/s6WnoNdg2c— Josh Dawsey (@jdawsey1) March 20, 2017

  • OrG

    sphincter’s job is lying.He’s not very good at his job.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      in fairness to Spicer, Trump gives him a big pile of steaming shit to try to defend every day.

      • BadKitty904

        Psht. Let ‘im earn his paycheck like the rest of us.

    • Bill D. Burger

      PERIOD!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Guy should’ve stuck to the Horst Wessel hymn.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    All those Rockettes, and not one of them got a chance to kick Tim Allen in the balls.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Irrespective of his politics, I never really got Tim Allen. His character on “Home Improvement” was the host of a home handyman TV show who wasn’t really handy at all, so he depended on his assistant to do everything…and this was funny because…????

    • Jamoche

      It was what we all suspected was the true story behind Bob Vila on This Old House.

    • Deadpool

      And in Toy Story Woody was always cooler than Buzz, tbh.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        TBH I hated Toy Story for the way the other toys treated Woody.

        • therblig

          at least Rex had guilt

    • Crank Tango

      Personal responsibility?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      His character was handy and could do a good job when he followed the directions (or when it was a project he cared about, like restoring a car). He just couldn’t resist the impulse to “improve” on something rather than just brining it up to spec.

    • Duke

      He’s not funny. He had one joke, or “joke,” and milked it for a lifetime. Grunting isn’t funny, either. Appeals to a certain segment, I supposed, and, I’ll speculate, they’re Trump voters.

  • hendenburg2

    So I went to see Bad Religion on Saturday as they were starting their new Vox Populi tour (sadly, no one came dressed as Booker DeWitt, let’s see how many people get that one).

    Bad stuff first: Their set wasn’t even an hour an half including encore.

    Good stuff: The opening band’s guitarists were both women, and the crowd had the best response to an opening act that I had ever seen.
    Bad Religion opened with American Jesus and Recipe for Hate.
    Greg commented that many of their songs were far more relevant today than when they were written decades ago.

    • Roadstergal

      I’ve been pulling out my old Bad Religion tapes a lot these days.

      (Yes, I still have a box that plays tapes.)

      • hendenburg2

        My more radio-inclined friends have noticed that there is an upsurge in the amount of punk being played on rock radio stations since January

    • andyshelt

      Have a recommend for the Bioshock Infinite reference.

    • mancityRed6

      I finally got to see them in Lawrence on a weeknight a couple of years ago. Greg told a story (true or not) that KU was in the final running for where he was going to get his doctorate.
      I could just imagine Bad Religion as Lawrence’s own house band.

  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω
  • Chadwells

    Certified smokified.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Nice time at the buzzer! FTW!

  • Jennifer R

    Eh fuck me. I went down to SF to help a friend out for a few days after surgery. A different friend said she might be able to take me back up, but has had to back out. And it looks like I can’t make my pack small enough for the train without throwing out my blanket.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Could you mail the blanket to yourself? Or maybe wear three or four layers to make room?

      • Red Bird Ω

        That’s a good idea. I did that once when I “over shopped” during a vacation.

      • Jennifer R

        Capitol Corridor has tiny sounding requirements. My bag empty would fit, maybe with the clothes I have too. If I had ties I could tie up the blanket enough that it alone might fit. Of course OTHER train routs they operate have checked baggage, but not the weekday ones to sac.

    • Crank Tango

      Just wrap yourself up in it like the flag.

    • Shibusa

      Cape!

    • janecita

      Saris are nice:-)

    • Cloaks are just blankets realy

    • snark-lurker

      No good deed goes unpunished…jusy sayin.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Fuzzy ugly sarong?

      • Jennifer R

        Might work on the SF side. Sure by sacto I’d be getting stares.

  • jesuswasablack

    Saw this link on another lefty rag, funny how shit happens?
    https://twitter.com/KellyannePolls/status/792172280327630848

    • Jamoche

      https://twitter.com/jordansdiamonds/status/843887868061868033
      “well this tweet certainly hasn’t aged well 🙃🙃🙃”

      • Isaac Heston

        Oh, snap!

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Well, Anderson, I said ‘most’ and there are obviously exceptions to every rule. Donald Trump happens to be the exception here.”

  • janecita
  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    Strangely, Tim Allen also go home to find armed Gestapo officers who then marched him and his wife and children out to the Santa Monica Mountains, where they and their friends were ordered to dig their own mass grave before being machine gunned, nor did he find twelve SS officers ushering him into an Odyssey minivan with a kind of unusual exhaust pipe, nor did armed guards with swastikas brutally wake him up in the middle of the night and march him and his family to Union Station on foot, where they were pushed into cattle cars and deported to a death camp in West Texas. Funny, isn’t it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      but I bet he has to pay child support, so.

    • doktorzoom

      Well, but that wasn’t the 30’s, he said pedantically.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        I bow to your superior historical accuracy. What can I have been thinking.

  • jesuswasablack
  • BadKitty904

    The Trump-Russia Story Has Only Just Begun (To Explode)
    Not since Richard Nixon’s Watergate scandal has an investigative hearing made it so clear that a presidency was in serious legal peril.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-russia-comey_us_58d01dd6e4b0be71dcf6e972?6o6&amp;

    • Bill D. Burger

      Loved his throwing a piece of twitter shit out onto the web and into the hearings today and in it stated something that Comey had NOT said….and Comey had to correct Turnip in real time on the TEE VEE. rotfl

      • BadKitty904

        And don’t you just know Sniffles is still foaming at the mouth over THAT

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          I’m just waiting for him to remove his eyeglasses, hands trembling, dismiss some of his officers and shriek “STEINER!!!”

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    I am not a particularly sporty person, though I enjoy being outside quite a bit, but I did go hiking yesterday. It was really only because there are the foundations of an old mansion that is supposed to be haunted at the head of the trail, and the gate and driveway of the mansion are still there and were used in Phantasm.

    It was excellent weather yesterday and my friends brought their dog that I love more than most people, which was enough distraction from exercising for me to do so. And then I stopped for a hamburger on the way home, because I still don’t understand how fitness works.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17a6f02c4191f9be8e59a436dac861d9c323bec0ad30d436e7c22437ec69ddb4.jpg

    • janecita

      That picture looks like something out of “Spirited Away.” It is beautiful.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        It is! That’s a movie still in case there are any other horror nerds lurking, but really, it looks almost identical still. It just doesn’t have the words up top.

        It’s a state park, but one that is not kept up very well, so there is a lot of overgrowth, and no landscaping. It’s also known as the enchanted or haunted forest, though most of the area are steep hillsides and open trails, the areas with trees are all gorgeous like this.

        • Yr. Gma

          Which state park?

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Thank you for asking so I looked it up again. The city of Altadena bought the land, so it’s city land, not state. The official parks signs there just had the trail info, it’s the Sam Merrill Trail up to Echo Mountain. The area is the Cobb Estate or Haunted/Enchanted Forest.

            http://laist.com/2011/07/15/a_park_a_day.php#photo-1

          • Yr. Gma

            I think I’ll go see it when I’m down that way.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Excellent! The foundation of the old estate and waterfall thingy aren’t incredibly far in either. I made it to them. Some of the trails are kind of tricky and very steep, but I’m crazy not in shape, so generally if I can manage, it’s easy for normal humans. It’s a neat little area I hadn’t know about before.

    • mancityRed6

      I saw this way back in ’92. It’s at Ha Ha Tonka state park in Missouri.
      It caught fire and burned down before the fire brigade could get close.
      http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/3f88410f91454b57908789ba212cdb09/ha-ha-tonka-state-park-camdenton-missouri-aerial-of-ruins-of-castle-a9cke8.jpg

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        That is so pretty! I’m trying to get out more here. Weird and abandoned places abound, and usually in nature, around here. (Los Angeles area)

      • snark-lurker

        When was it built? When did it burn? How did it start? Who lived there?

        • mancityRed6

          “Construction of the Ha Ha Tonka castle was started by Robert McClure Snyder, Sr. in 1905, a Kansas City businessman who purchased the large property. Alluding to the natural springs on the property, “ha ha tonka” was said to mean “smiling waters.”

          Following Snyder’s death in an auto accident in 1906, the castle was completed by his sons Robert, Jr.; LeRoy, and Kenneth Snyder in the late 1920s before the Stock Market Crash. The building was used as a summer and weekend home by the Snyder family, who lived in Kansas City. In the late 1930s it was used as a hotel, but was destroyed by fire in 1942.

          The state purchased the castle and grounds in 1978, adapting them for use as a state park and opening them to the public. The water tower was repaired in 2004, with a new roof installed. The castle walls have been stabilized. The ruins can be seen from an observation point across from the post office.”
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha_Ha_Tonka_State_Park

          • snark-lurker

            Wow I love stuff like thanks for filling me in. Car accident in 1906…imagine (I can’t).

          • mancityRed6

            If he had enough money to start building that place, I can imagine he was one of the very few around that had a car.

          • snark-lurker

            A vaca home at that!

          • mancityRed6

            And, yeah, the only reason it burned was because it was so far out in the middle of nowhere. It is a beautiful park, right on the edge of the Lake of the Ozarks.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        Resembles the ruins of ancient monasteries, castles, and forts in Europe.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      No, no, that’s exactly how fitness works, first you grudgingly have a stroll in some sort of fresh air, then HAMBURGERS!

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Good, because that’s a plan I can really get behind.

  • mardam422

    Love me some Nazi smackdown.

  • Deadpool

    “Donald Trump is proof that not everyone becomes wiser with age”.

    • therblig

      proof that not everyone should age.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    I did not know this: before @realdonaldTrump called for defunding PBS, 'Sesame Street' had mocked him for decades. https://t.co/jwnseMIqYF— David Fahrenthold (@Fahrenthold) March 20, 2017

    • JoeChristmas

      He should have been jailed in the 80’s.

    • Sardonicuss

      The weirdness of living in a red state, during a PBS fund drive, watching them trying to raise money and not mention that the moron most of their viewers maybe voted for…is trying to de-fund the whole shebang…….

  • mardam422

    Just wondering how long (and how many dropped shoes) it will take before the Republicans begin to really distance themselves from old orange skin.

    • Isaac Heston

      2018, obvs…

      • mardam422

        You weren’t alive in 1973, were you?

        • Isaac Heston

          Not quite

  • cheetojeebus

    Wonkette open thread= Unleash the HOUNDS!!!1 of snark!!

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    YamMan is on his way to Louisville, KY to sell his “better, cheaper, total coverage for everyone” Trumpcare poison blanket.

    Don’t you know the WH gaggle will be on edge hoping he doesn’t go off script and call Comey a liar, a backstabber, and an Obama-appointed traitor.

    Gawwd’ let him do it!

  • OrG

    Starting to seem like nazis are stupid.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Slightly greater than 50/50 that statement may be true.

  • Jamoche

    A law blog analyzes Comey’s testimony:
    http://www.lawfareblog.com/how-read-what-comey-said-today

  • Chadwells
  • Bill D. Burger

    Wonder where lil’ Marco is on all this :

    Rubio once asked: ‘Can this country afford to have a president under investigation by the FBI?’
    Alex LearyAlex Leary, Times Washington Bureau Chief
    Monday, March 20, 2017 2:31pm

    Days before the presidential election, Marco Rubio asked a crowd in Punta Gorda, “Can this country afford to have a president under investigation by the FBI?”

    “NO!” the anti-Clinton audience shouted.]

    http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-politics/rubio-once-asked-can-this-country-afford-to-have-a-president-under/2317246

    • Shoto

      Rubio is so very patriotic to have posed this question.

      No, wait: He’s clearly positioning himself for 2020. I guess I corrected myself.

  • Red Bird Ω

    White people and their fantasy oppression. Bless their hearts.

  • aktlib101

    From The Guardian:
    “Meritocracy: the great delusion that ingrains inequality”
    “In the wake of the 2008 financial crash, many people noticed that the meritocracy they had been taught to believe in wasn’t working. The idea you could be anything you wanted to be, if only you tried hard enough, was increasingly hard to swallow. Even for the relatively pampered middle classes, jobs had dried up, become downgraded and over-pressured, debt had soared and housing was increasingly unaffordable.”
    “In the face of this instability, May and Trump have managed to resuscitate the idea of meritocracy to justify policies that will increase inequality. They use different cultural accents: Trump’s brash rhetoric panders overtly to racism and misogyny; May presents herself as a fair-minded headmistress of the home counties. But their political logic is intertwined, as indicated by the indecent haste with which May rushed to the White House post-election. Both acknowledge inequality but prescribe meritocracy, capitalism and nationalism as the solution. Both want to create economic havens for the uber-rich while deepening the marketisation of public welfare systems and extending the logic of competition in everyday life.”
    “The fact is, meritocracy is a myth. Social systems that reward through wealth, and which increase inequality, don’t aid social mobility, and people pass on their privilege to their children. ”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/20/meritocracy-inequality-theresa-may-donald-trump?CMP=oth_b-aplnews_d-1

    • Red Bird Ω

      I find this article funny mainly because the English have always lived in a classist society. I doubt they ever forgot that the rich rule over the poor. Also, just my opinion, but the anger about the so called failure of meritocracy is that the reason it appeared to work for so long was due to the denial of access to wealth to specific classes of people. Supporters of trump may not realize it but all they’re really saying when they say they support Trump is that they want the system rigged in their favor again.

      • aktlib101

        Precisely !

  • Nounverb911
    • ariel_gee_398

      Grifter begs for continued relevance.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      What do you think is going on with this douchecanoe? Did someone tel him he’s funny so he’s really going for it? Decided to up the day drinking?

      • Isaac Heston

        That dude needs a handle. Of liquor and reality.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He really gets under my skin. I’d LOVE for him to get caught with a dead girl or a live boy.

      • Isaac Heston

        Gross

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It’s a famous old political saying, but if you’re saying the thought of Huckabee naked, is gross, I agree!

          • Isaac Heston

            I know, I know. Trying to establish a catch phrase…

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Excellent catch phrase!

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or the modern iteration: some of that virtual child porn that isn’t made by abused children but is still illegal?

      • Rick Hill

        Why not both?

    • But you raised at least one kid who meets 2/3 points of the serial killer triad

      • OrG

        That we know of.

      • therblig

        so, another conservative underachiever

      • Crank Tango

        Chump’s got him beat, more kids, more points, Bigly success.

      • Mary Sandoras

        There’s still time for him to achieve “serial killer” bingo.

    • Crank Tango

      What could possibly be so wrong with 3,000 people that they not only follow this dipshit, but they hit the heart thingy.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        They think that means “Candidate for Heart Disease”?

        • Crank Tango

          Speaking of which, I actually bought that asshole’s book, “Killing yourself with a knife and fork.” Lies, all lies.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        They all think they’re “good” Christians too. I’m not sure they know what their sky god actually believed in.

        • Crank Tango

          Deporting families and checking ladies for penises, I guess.

        • They suspect God has a sense of humor because they have looked at themselves nekkid in a mirror “purnear” every day. 😀

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        I honestly think a fair amount are bought-and-paid for trolls, but even so, 3000 isn’t a whole lot compared to the many thousands who “like” Obama’s tweets or George Takai’s tweets, etc.

    • Nounverb911
      • BosGrl

        Maybe he wants a job headlining at Mar-a-Lago.

        • suziq

          He’s probably funnier than anyone they got there now. SAD!

          • Foocatchoo

            Actually, Michael Flynn has been known to make a good joke while doling out hand towels and mints in the Men’s room!

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            in the Men’s room in the Kremlin, of course

        • He puts the fucking -a- in Marlago

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Keep it up Mike, you get that job in the White House and you’ll quickly become more hated than you’ve ever been.

      • AJ Milne

        … tip the veal, try your waiter.

      • White people “find” stuff.

    • aktlib101

      Fuck-a-bee says what?

      • Jon Sussex

        “I’ll say any dumb thing to get my name in the news.”

    • Shibusa

      Jesus wept.
      (After reading Huckabee’s awful tweets.)

    • Thorn Spike

      Oh, for fuckabee’s sake.

    • Blackest Noobs

      but still confirmed, Mike Huckabee is a FAT SACK OF SHIT as confirmed by the NSA and FBI.

      FBI agent stated Huckabee is also a sad sack of a meatbag.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        I believe that is also the consensus of dung beetles everywhere.

      • Jon Sussex

        I read that as “NASA” and thought Jeezus! He can be seen from space!

        • Blackest Noobs

          well….actually…

    • Stulexington

      will also confirm Huckabee has no relevance to anything, anywhere, ever.

  • marxalot

    Congratulate me: I made it through the day without the midafternoon Corporate Coffee latte.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Congratulations! And our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the people you encountered.

  • Thorn Spike

    One-hit hacktor says what?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    OK, now my nerd dander is up! You will not own the future. We will overcome and we will free people trapped in poverty, hunger, disease and ignorance. This is what humans do.

    British scientist Stephen Hawking fears he “may not be welcome” in the United States now that Donald Trump is President.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d159c6a6be816db60c9d1518914f0b7a0e6b5f4a8c47ff6eee91bbe53430b58.jpg

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/20/europe/stephen-hawking-trump-climate/

    • Red Bird Ω

      ???

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      DaFuq?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “We’re worried that ‘Hawking Radiation’ could be a weapon of terror. Also, his voiceprint analysis comes back as ‘mechanical’. That’s a bad sign.”
      — DHS Secretary Kelly

    • Mary Sandoras

      I don’t think the current administration is all that welcoming to intellects.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Especially experts in the “Jewish Science” of General Relativity?

      • Nor Intel-lecks

        Definition of leck
        plural -s
        dialectal, British
        : a hard clay subsoil

      • Yr. Gma

        Or, truth be told, people with handicaps.

    • Trump is just doing the “Big Nosed” Lord’s work…
      God hates cripples.

  • Nounverb911

    Vicente Fox strikes again, and again, and again.
    https://twitter.com/VicenteFoxQue/status/843842926660763650

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Vicente!

    • Shoto

      Orale!

    • If Trump’s hair gets any thinner, Intel could make wafers out of it 😀

    • OneYieldRegular

      Trudeau/Fox 2017!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Part of the Tourism Reduction Act of 2017? Leave no industry unscathed…

    • Shibusa

      Meanwhile, those same planes carry tons of unscreened cargo…

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Like my Swedish eyeglasses from Australia!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Why don’t we just blow up the tarmacs and install anti-aircraft posts along the coastline and be done with it?

  • To cheer myself up, i just watched The West Wing’s What Kind of Day Has it Been? And and just starting In the Shadow of Two Gunmen

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Have you been viewing “Madam Secretary”? Morgan Freeman, producer. Madeleine Albright, consultant.

      • I have been enjoying muchly. The whole election thing has been crazy balls. I also a fan of Designated Survivor

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Just started DS. Will be interesting/courageous tv if they make Kirkman actually not up to the job, and how everyone has to scramble in the face of his incompetence. (On E5, I’m not convinced of his competence or ability to grow into the job)

    • doktorzoom

      Sorry if this is a spoiler, but I didn’t buy the bit where they make Josh see a psychiatrist and he starts sobbing and blubbering “It wasn’t a chicken…it was a baby!”

  • Pookabun

    Gosh, a has-been conservative sort-of-celebrity using the suffering and mass murder of my family and people to make himself feel good and get into the news. I love that. That’s my favorite thing.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Wait, you forgot, “as a result of being busted with half a kilo of cocaine at the airport.” He desecrated our families and millions of others just to make himself feel better for two seconds.

  • Rick Hill

    donnie is having hisself a rally in Louisville. Just heard some audio, sounds like the same amateurs who hosted his campaign rallies, Rightwing fools, or news, something like that.

    • Isaac Heston

      Administration officials?….6 of one, half dozen of the other…

    • mackafritz

      Another damn rally? I guess he needs the constant adulation to distract him from his dismal approval ratings.

      • Rick Hill

        I thought of listening to it, interested if people are eating it up or what the reaction is but it’s not supposed to start for 15 minutes or so.

      • Bill D. Burger

        He says he’s taking his message to the people and is directly going to “…sell the new healthcare plan to the American people.”
        He’s speaking to the lowest of the low Trumpanzees, of course, and they will take the anthrax-infected blanket (aka: Trumpcare) and thank him for it. The rest of the country….not so much.

        I want him to go off script and just start a screaming tirade against Comey! His gaggle backstage, you just know, are terrified he will.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Anthrax-infected blanket–what a great metaphor

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        It’s the only way Bannon can keep him more or less under control–hiring a bunch of people to come and cheer at him. He is a deranged, pathetic madman, and I don’t know why everyone can’t see it.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Nah – he wants to trot out some new nonsense. I’m guessing he’ll say France has been funding the DNC for years and set up listening devices in the White House which they can’t understand, because English…. anybody?…

    • Did they play Free Bird yet?

    • BadKitty904

      Beats workin’ for a livin’.

  • Nounverb911
    • Isaac Heston

      Gateway to stupidity

      • Nounverb911

        Weren’t Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty in that movie?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Nope, it was a Led Zeppelin song.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            I thought it was a kind of early PC

    • Shoto

      When you’re too crazy for Glenn Beck, you might want to reassess your career choices.

      • Deadpool

        I saw that interview he did with Samantha Bee a while back. I was almost convinced he was actually reasonable and decent for once. Then he showed his true colors again.

    • Deadpool

      So they are mad at her for being pro choice but not for all the condescending, ignorant things she has said about African American history?

    • OrG

      Who?

      • BadKitty904

        (No idea. Another talking head, apparently.)

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      She must be re-educated. Next thing you know she’ll be refusing to call herself “Tomi” and be using her tribal name, “C#nt-A-C#nt-a”

    • doktorzoom

      Has he blamed Obama yet?

      • Nounverb911

        Eventually.

  • Blackest Noobs

    now i wanna punch a Tim Allen. what a fucking douche.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    So the Ryancare bill is about to get worse. Among some provisions being discussed as amendments to court conservative votes are preventing states from expanding Medicaid before the phase out and allowing states to impose work requirements for Medicaid eligibility.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Okay, now I gotta rub some dirt into this vote stick….

    • ariel_gee_398

      The political geniuses in the House have finally figured it out. Make it more draconian and tack further to the right. Then the people will love our bill to kill them after making them poor.

    • BadKitty904

      Any word on how many years of required service in the galleys to qualify for coverage?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Alright granny, you get up out of that hospital bend and mine some coal!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So Trump is getting ready to hold yet another campaign rally in Kentucky. I guess Pence really is running the country, because Trump seems to do nothing but go to rallies for his 2020 campaign, and play golf.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Who knew precedentin’ was complicated?…

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        “Nobody had ANY IDEA”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was told there would be an “auto pilot” button.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          That’s what Melania calls her clitoris.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            I wouldn’t touch that.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            She’s got it covered.

          • Swampgas_Man

            Neither will Donnie.

    • Shoto

      And bang Ivanka. Allegedly.

      • Isaac Heston

        Gross

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Well she is getting an office in the white house. I’m sure that will “cum in handy” for Donald

      • Weevie

        I don’t know, his Dunlops Disease is getting rather severe.

    • OrG

      And send twits.

    • Weevie

      You expected, like, President stuff?
      This is life in a satire, Living With the Simpsons!

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      How the fuck else is he gonna MAGA if he has to do shit like direct policy,foreign and domestic? You snowflake libtarts are pathetic, SAD. From Supply side Jesus’ lips, to Dear Leaders overly coiffed ears, MAGA, MAGA, MAGA

      • Sophia

        That was going to be his job. He was going to MAGA while Pence looked after the small stuff like running the country.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Just give him a chance, okay? He is gonna smear MAGA all over our country. We will be so MAGA-ed we will be tired of MAGA-ing.

          • Sophia

            I wasn’t aware until now that MAGA could be conjugated. LOL!!

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            Its a great new four letter word, and has so many nefarious and disgusting connotations.

    • BadKitty904

      *koff* Bannon/Putin *koff*

  • Rick Hill

    McConnell showed up to trump’s “You still lerv me?” rally. Just heard a bit “…gonna fix Obamacare and a lot of other messes Obama left this country…”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Good luck with that. You need 50 votes, and at least 4 Republican Senators don’t want the stink attached to this turd burger attached to them.

    • Then he took off his shirt and said “Hold this beer” before doing a swan dive off the roof into the pool???

    • BadKitty904

      The “mess” I see, Yertle, is the treasonous one you’re standing in.

    • TootsStansbury

      That’s one turtle I’d leave in the middle of the road instead of stopping to bring it to the other side.

  • Tim Allen reminds me of those Medium-Rich snowflakes on the Home Improvement shows who got bank to buy a big home, but then complain that the kitchens too big because they would have to run back and forth.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/10ZpFHGQczijeM/giphy.gif

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Gallery kitchens rule. I hate islands blocking the fridge.

  • Rotisserie Teal

    Timmy ‘the snitch’ Allen needs to watch a few hours of the History Channel. (I think, “read a book” might be be a too far a reach for him)

  • Weevie

    Since this is our https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ecd65214f98e372415593e87abea2b0cb8cc3a57571776adefcaf74425c3014f.gif open thread, here’s my daughter falling off a horse!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You are cruel. Banhammer?….

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I like the white horse and the rider. They’re like “are you done with your foolishness now?

        • Weevie

          A few minutes before Steffie did her thing, the girl on the big white horse (billy) almost did a face plant over a jump, she was lucky. Billy dipped before jumping way too high, bucked when he landed and the girl was headed between his front legs. She grabbed Billy’s neck, somehow held on and came back up. She was calming down in front of me when Steffie slid off.

          • Kakkeltje

            Aww, my horse is named Billy too, he is an oldz now (28). When he was younger he once did the same thing and I actually did fall in front of his front legs. He could not avoid running over me. I felt him step on my back, but somehow he managed to keep all the weight off that foot.

            Everybody watching thought they would need to call an ambulance, but I was fine. It did not even leave a mark and he was wearing shoes at the time.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Those girls are young and agile, I wish I still was. I’d be laid up in the hospital for three weeks if this happened to me. Sigh…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I can’t figure out what caused her to fall off. She’s going along just fine, and then ZONK!

      • BadKitty904

        Left foot came out of the stirrup after the jump – that didn’t help any, I reckon.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It’s kind of odd, because she’s fine right after the jump, gallop, gallop, gallop, WHOOSH all hell breaks loose.

      • Weevie

        Nothing, really, just tired, that was after an hour of jumping and she just sort of flopped, went down when Pearl went up, then did the superman and decided to get off. Pearl was still moving at the end, so she hit her knees. Jumped back on and away they went!

    • lroom

      She landed on her feet. Good girl!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It looked like she landed on her knees, but still a good save. I wish I knew what caused her to fall off. I’ve watched it about 30 times.

        • The Witch of Endor

          It looked like she over balanced by like a smidge at the wrong moment, or possibly her right foot got bounced out of the stirrup?

    • TJ Barke

      Hunter jumper or 3 day eventing?

      • Weevie

        Hunter Jumper. Eventing, then Dressage are next. She’s only been riding for 4-5 months, seems like she’s found her niche. Loves it!

        • TJ Barke

          Hunter jumpers and dressage riders are stuck up fuckers generally, 3 day eventers are generally more laid back.

          • Weevie

            Eventers have to be accomplished at both, so they tend to be better riders overall. Dressage is a lot of pomp to me, but it’s very hard to do it perfectly and it’s still amazing to me what those horses can do. Horse dancing, five figure horse dancing. Jumping is more the horse than the rider if you want to go high.

            This summer, Steffie’s going to barrel racing school for a week!
            She don’t care what it is, just has to be on a horse.

            Someday we may get a horse, but she’s interested in such different things, she needs to pick a path first. She’s a good athlete, was No2 in the state in MYSL for km skied two years ago, 650km in a short season. She’s a great skijorer, too, light, so she flies! Has a twin brother who is about the same.

            They’re fun, the second childhood thing is fantastic!

          • TJ Barke

            You’d be surprised how in tune horse and rider have to be to jump well.

        • MeerkatsRMammals
    • RobKanC

      I once rode one of these things in a ranch. I honestly felt sorry for the creature the whole time. I felt a little guilty too because I was making this living thing actually carry me.

      • TootsStansbury

        Haha, I hopped up on my Father in Law’s Tennessee Walker to take a test drive; I’m convinced to this day the big goof didn’t even know I was aboard.

        • RobKanC

          Still, if I were a horse, I wouldn’t want anyone riding me. Either that or I am a big softie.

          • Weevie

            That’s what they live for. Seriously, these horses follow you around the paddock and get in front of you so you’ll ride them.

            We have two skijoring dogs, both rescues who would have been “problem” dogs to most owners, but to us, they’re spectacular, they love to pull! When I team them, we average 30 km/hr on skis, what a ride!

            We fell into the performance dog thing a few years ago when we brought LuLu (pointer/lab) home from a shelter as just a pet and she was the fastest dog I’d ever seen! Knew then I couldn’t turn her into a cookie catcher, so we learned skijoring and it was one of the best things we’ve ever done, the amount of energy she and her adopted son Boomer have is incredible, they just go and go and go!

            Saved both of them from likely a very sad fate, what a waste that would have been.

          • Weevie

            Tell me these guys aren’t fast!
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKpsQJ5N9cA

          • RobKanC

            Nice. I guess that’s another way to think about the situation.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      One advantage to being old is that there is no visual evidence of my equestrian faux pas. Just glad she and her mount are ok.

      • Weevie

        She’s fine, pretty tough girl, didn’t amount to much really. The horse she’s riding, Pearl, is an old quarterhorse, still has lots of energy and they get along great. Pearl’s a nice ol’ gal, she licks me when I’m not looking!

    • Mike Steele

      Yeah, I’m sure, in years hence, she’ll thank you for sharing…

      • Weevie

        It’s all over, she’s cool with it.
        The whole vid is here:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57QN07woWkY

        • Mike Steele

          Weevie, in deference to your unbridled parental pride, actually watched the entire video. She looked magnificent; is that her horse?

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Donald Trump: Я ничего не знаю.

      • OrG

        I’m assuming that says something clever.

        • Undocumented Skwerl!

          Translated directly it means”Pass the canned clams.”

          • Nounverb911

            Needs more geoducks!

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    How long before the NCAA sues Trump for hijacking their March Madness copyright

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s not a small business owner or a student athlete, so he’s probably OK.

      • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

        sick NCAA burn!

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

      I’m sorry I cannot further articulate my disgust. MoW helped keep my mom alive.

    • RobKanC

      And what. Her Royal Highness will stay in the house that was inhabited by blah ppl. Its a disgrace. I am sure the starving people will understand.

    • The Big House should be their accommodation

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Darling I love wed you but give me fifth avenue!”
      — Melania

    • BadKitty904

      I dunno. She looks pretty stringy to me…

    • artem1s

      let them eat cubic zirconia and gold leaf.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Conservative women– cut or put your goddamned hair up! You are not a teenager any more. The hair on these women MAKES ME INSANE.

  • mancityRed6

    I barely slept last night. It was so damn hot in the apartment. I actually laid on the couch for a few hours just to be under the ceiling fan. One of the things I will buy is a fan for the bedroom.
    And yes, I admit it. The A/C is on right now. Just for tonight. No way I’m sleeping as little as I did last night again.

    • mancityRed6

      and I would wake up every 15 minutes or so to find both cats with me.

      • BadKitty904

        That’s because they love you and were concerned. Plus you might be eating something.

        • mancityRed6

          I was on the couch…you never know what will happen then.

          • BadKitty904

            See?

          • mancityRed6

            Yeah, Karl at my feet, all stretched out. Pippa on my side.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’m 500 miles to your west and 4000 feet higher (in elevation, at least, right now). 72 here. The trees are fucking leafing out.

      • mancityRed6

        The trees that will block the afternoon sun for me have buds (heh) started, but they’re still a few weeks away from anything actually sprouting

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Sure, sure.

      • snark-lurker

        We must hope they don’t get frozen off.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Why are you opposed to the A/C? It’s better for you to sleep than whatever your concerns about A/C are.

      • mancityRed6

        because it’s still March, A/C season doesn’t start until at least after Memorial day.
        At least it’s central and I won’t have to put the window units in this year.

      • snark-lurker

        $$$

      • mancityRed6

        and I’m done with $100 electric bills. I kept the thermostat at 60 this winter, it made the duvet feel nice when I went to bed.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Oh, how I would long for the days of only $100 electric bills….

      • Yr. Gma

        Electric bills in summer in southern California can be obscene. When the temperature is triple digits and it doesn’t drop below 85 at night, it’s brutal. Not looking forward to summer.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          That is certainly true. I work at home so pretty much have to have the a/c on during the day, too. My DWP bill is just nuts.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I got the swamp cooler going a few days ago. It’s hotter than usual out here for this time out year. I had to call several hardware stores for supplies because they usually don’t stock supplies this early for swamp coolers. I finally found one and wheee, we are cool here.

      • mancityRed6

        I’ll turn it off before I go to bed, maybe crack the windows. It’s looking like it will be 52 when I wake up.

    • BadKitty904
  • ariel_gee_398

    I prefer Florida Man stories that involve gators and meth, not threats from a court employee to hang the first black woman elected as a State Attorney.
    http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/politics/political-pulse/os-seminole-ayala-facebook-suspended-20170320-story.html

    • OrG

      I assume he was arrested and charged.HAHA! Just kidding,I don’t assume that at all.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Stupid and evil–it’s a package deal.”
      — Florida

    • Bill D. Burger

      Florida has a lot of weird shit. Here in CO we have to pause often on open range to let cattle cross the road.
      In Florida it’s like a visit to Jurassic Park….

      https://www.facebook.com/NBC4Columbus/videos/10154248787997751/

      • BadKitty904

        Psht. If they’re moving, you honk until they stop or have moved out of the way, then drive on. If they’ve stopped to sun themselves or eat a poodle or something, you just drive around them. Easy-peasy…

      • Shanzgood

        Nope nope nopity nope no. No.

      • Yr. Gma

        Shouldn’t that be accompanied by the sound track from Teddy Bears on Parade?

  • Jennifer R

    My blanket issue has been mooted. It’s like 15 bucks cheaper than the train for my roommate to drive down from sacto and pick me up.

    • Scrofula

      But the train is so much fun!

      • OrG

        Sarcasm?

        • Scrofula

          For once, not really. I did use to enjoy the Capital Corridor.

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah but I can’t afford to toss out a perfectly good blanket. Or for that matter 15 bucks.

        • Scrofula

          Well, I missed the blanket part. But you CAN steal a pillow from Amtrak if you’re all sly, on the right line.

          • Jennifer R

            Hah, probably doing them a favor though.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    CUT THE FUCKING BUDGET SO THAT SECRET SERVICE ONLY COVERS THE WHITE HOUSE. MAKE THE FUCKER PAY FOR HIS OWN SECURITY!!!!!!!! pant pant fucker all you trump voters eat shit and die!!!!!!!! with your votes!!!!!

    • snark-lurker

      take your pants off, deep breath, count to ten, think Calm Thoughts.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        I read the last part too quick & thought you said “CLAM” thoughts!!!

        • snark-lurker

          OMG! Are you ok now?

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            Yes. I just couldn’t understand why you’d tell someone to take their pants off & think clam thoughts… Like some kind of weird masturbation thing.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Try a nice limerick.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        There once was a toddler psychopath named trump…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    There is nothing I don’t love about Cabaret. It is a gem. But out of all of pithy social commentary and dark humor, this song is my favorite. What can I say? I love a tittliating ditty.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oPOiaAU_vJg

    • Yr. Gma

      Maybe This Time. Love that song.

  • Nounverb911
    • RobKanC

      But when they do become a millionaire, then they would need those tax breaks, yeah?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        How do they become a millionaire when they’re constantly in the hospital, dying?

        • RobKanC

          By kicking those ‘Messicans out and building a wall. That’s how.

          • therblig

            tax cuts!

        • OrG

          Free-Market Magic.

    • BadKitty904

      And we’re going to put a stop that, by God!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      As long as the price on Mountain Dew and Cheetos doesn’t go up they’ll be just fine

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      It started well even before he got there, apparently:
      https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/843968651090903041

    • therblig

      she meant, people have “access” to money, but nothing is guaranteed.

  • Serai 1
  • Mike Steele

    Re: latest shrieking headlines…electronic devices larger than cellphones banned on incoming flights to US by 12 airlines – in carry-on luggage ONLY?!?! IOW, you can still check your explosive device into the belly of the aircraft? WTF am I missing here?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Jesus, it looks like 10,000 people are at Trump’s Kentucky rally. The hicks really love the coastal elite billionaire who’s getting ready to fuck them out of health care.

    • RobKanC

      At least he will take it away from those blah ppl too.

    • mackafritz

      Of course. It’s Kentucky. You don’t see him holding rallies in New York or California.

      • fredoandme

        i try and i try to not take that personally, but, right now, about three miles away from the epicenter of this farce, my heart really hurts.

        sigh….

        • Shanzgood

          I feel ya.

          • fredoandme

            sometimes you just wanna……

      • cmd resistor

        Wasn’t Pence in the very same town last week, same schtick?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Are we sure that’s not Helm’s Deep style CGI?

      • therblig

        the sun shines bright
        in my orc kentucky home

    • Crank Tango

      Aw, bless their farts.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Don’t be fooled. There’s a Hoveround convention in Louisville this week.

    • Juan de Fuca

      This guy’s been in office for two months and most of us have already noticed the relationship of a Trump scandal including a follow-up rally. He’s already the most corrupt president of my life time.

      And it’s only been two-months.

      • snark-lurker

        Most corrupt prez EVUH sez I.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        That’s a good observation! The WH was said today was scheduled for him to tout the Trump(don’t)Care & how bigly it’s gonna screw them. But, we all know he’s gonna go off script & start screaming about how he’s being oppressed.

      • BadKitty904

        What puzzles me is who he thinks is falling for this BS. Yes, the Hardcore Hayseeds idolize him, but that leaves the vast majority that recognize his shit for what it is.

    • BadKitty904

      Yertle is holding their families hostage.

    • cmd resistor

      So how many TV stations are carrying the whole thing live?

    • Sophia

      Wasn’t Pence in Louisville already last week to push the healthcare bill?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That bill has apparently gone missing. Notice nobody is talking about it. I think Republicans have decided it was a bad idea to kill their own base.

    • Lord Jim

      We in Kenfuckistan excel at stoopid. We elect Democratic governors to fix our state then send Republicans to Congress to break the US. Except now we have decided we like the smell of shit in our nest, so we elected a lying, TeaParty crook from up north to be our gooberner.

      Sad now…

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Barbarahbillings

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj611d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !mj611d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash611TopJustGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj611d:….,……..

    • vh

      now. you just somehow know that the east german pure science PhD and now a no-nonsense premier of one of the most important countries just some how resonates to the vibes of our own nerdy wonk at a frequency of their choosing. i mean when self made people jive and its a dance of its own rhythm and you can see it in this pic.

    • vh

      a beautiful pic spoiled by reference to a stupid idiot.

    • The Witch of Endor

      I just realized, this is the first photo where I’ve seen Ms. Merkel smile.

  • aktlib101

    I apologize for the longer post.
    Like many others, I thought Hillz would have a much better chance than Sanders to beat the Shitgibbon. I/we was wrong, racism, misogyny and bigotry won. But I think Sanders’ ideas are now a good platform for the Dems to win back Congress and White House. From:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-bernie-is-the-most-popular-politician-in-america_us_58cef917e4b07112b6472f0e?sd5ietg2psiy1wz5mi&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009
    and
    https://www.alternet.org/economy/why-bernie-most-popular-politician-america

    “The productivity gains that once went to worker wages have been siphoned away to the top 1 percent. The average wage today would be double what it is, had we received our fair share of productivity.
    Why?
    Our economy is being financially strip-mined by Wall Street and their corporate partners”.

    Agenda of “Reversing Runaway Inequality” workshops being held across the country:
    “The right to a job at living wage: Everyone who is willing and able to work should be entitled to a job that today would pay at least $15 an hour. If the private sector is unable to produce such jobs, then government should serve as the employer of last resort. There’s more than enough work to be done to rebuild our infrastructure and protect our environment.

    The right to universal health care: It is time to expand Medicare – our efficiently run single-payer system for the elderly ― to anyone who wishes to join. (See Labor for Single Payer)

    The right to free public education from pre-k to graduate school: Each child deserves access free of charge to as much education as he or she qualifies for through our public educational systems. Nearly every economically advanced country provides free higher education. So should we. (See here.)

    The right to a sustainable environment, free from chemical, radioactive and carbon pollution: We need to protect working people and communities from harmful exposures while rapidly reducing the emission of greenhouse gases ― the cause of global warming. The climate crisis is real and must be addressed now. In doing so we also should have a policy of buying goods as locally as possible to limit the carbon footprint of transportation, and we should make sure industries do not flee to countries with weaker health, safety and environmental standards.

    The right to an impartial criminal justice system that does not harm anyone based on their ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, racial category or religion. In particular, we need to dramatically reduce the differential impact of enforcement, prosecution and sentencing on young people of color.

    The right to vote, free of voter suppression activities and billionaire influence: For our democracy to endure we need to halt any and all efforts to deny voting rights, and we need to curtail the influence of money in all areas of the political system.

    The right to citizenship for all residents: We are a nation of immigrants, documented and undocumented. There should be a straightforward pathway to citizenship for the more than 11 million undocumented immigrants here today.

    The right to organize unions without employer threats or harassment, We need to reform the current laws and processes which allow employers to intimidate workers from joining labor unions. Congress should pass the Free Choice Act which will level the playing field.

    The right to control our money through public state banks and a national postal bank: We need an alternative to the predatory financing provided by Wall Street. Modeled on the public Bank of North Dakota, every state should charter a public bank whose first and only goal is to serve its people. Like many other nations, we also need a national postal bank to provide financial services in all our communities. (See Public Banking Institute and Campaign for Postal Banking.)”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      If that was what people really cared about, we wouldn’t be where we are now. Sure, a slight majority of the voting public would agree but I think we have bigger issues with the electorate and our self-awareness as a nation and a society. Nixon fucked up and we got Jimmy Carter, PBUH. But then, we got Reagan and it all went to hell again.

      • aktlib101

        I am sure people care, but they were manipulated into the Meritocracy thingy, which is just another lie. Sure, meritocracy works on paper, except when there are breaks to prevent it
        https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/20/meritocracy-inequality-theresa-may-donald-trump?CMP=oth_b-aplnews_d-1

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I was raised in a time and place and family which assumed that if you worked hard, were truthful and kind, you would succeed.

          Fuck that shit.

          • aktlib101

            In a “normal” society, working hard and being truthful and kind should indeed lead to success. I was raised the same. But I did not understand how the system was rigged.

          • snark-lurker

            Aw the times was good…foe us whities.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Sadly I was naive. I still probably am about a lot of things how the world works but now I am aware of my ignorance (I hope).

          • snark-lurker

            and the “cullerds”

          • I watch the Blackish show on Wednesday, it follows Modern Family and is funny enough though sitcom silly. They did the election and the dude’s white and black co workers were all morose and whining and finally he went “Congrats, you now know what it is to be black! To work with the system, to try in the system, to believe in the system, and STILL get screwed over! Now whatcha gonna do about it?”
            I paraphrase, but it made me think real hard.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeh, I’ve been thinking about that as well. Since the election, white liberals have been rending their garments and gnashing their teeth about the impending police state, economic collapse, ecological disasters, dismantling of social programs, education, healthcare, etc., and POC are like “Welcome to our wold. Did you think we were joking about this shit?”

          • Persistent Demme

            SNL did something like that, too:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHG0ezLiVGc

    • snark-lurker

      I was forBernie but I don’t know if he could have done any better against tRumpootin that hrc did.

      • aktlib101

        They would have attacked mercilessly “the Commie”. Just as much as the damn emails

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Which is extremely ironic after today’s revelations.

          • aktlib101

            The whole fucking alternative Universe we live in is now ironic. Fuck!

          • snark-lurker

            “ironic”? Is that what this is?

        • Yr. Gma

          Yep.

        • Lord Jim

          Don’t forget Jewish.

      • cmd resistor

        Orange Shit Gibbon should never have beaten anyone. So it was fucked up no matter what.

    • These are all good, even better than good.
      But what the Dems need to do is focus on one or two key positions- one or two that will lead to the rest. One or two with really good catchy slogans.
      The American Electorate has proven without a shadow of a doubt that it cannot focus on more than that at a time.

      • aktlib101

        Agree 100%

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Bring Back Sanity!?….

      • Lord Jim

        How about single payer health care? Hillz was for it when she was First Lady. When Bernie brought it up, she deemed it unfeasible.. Even tho nations with smaller GDP/capita and median incomes can manage it. When the benefits of this (funded by tax increases on the top 1%) become manifest, it will be more difficult to coherently argue that govt intervention is bad. In passing I’d like to note that even a libertarian like Hayek understood that no one can predict or prepare for natural disasters or catastrophic illness, so the government ought to help out there.

    • Persistent Demme

      It would be nice if Democrats would rally around someone who was a proud DEMOCRAT.

    • MissNomer

      If Bernie cares so much about the Democratic Party, he needs to become a Democrat, or STFU. Preferably the latter.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • MeerkatsRMammals

    As a lover of musicals & hater of Nazis, this made me so happy :) Tim Allen has always been a fuck face, so no new news there. Just reason to like him even less.

    • cmd resistor

      I never really hated him or anything, but figured if Wingnut Brother loved him so, there must be something wrong. I did kind of like him ok in an old movie called (something something) Joe where he was a somewhat likeable nerd.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Springtime for Hitler…

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        That’s the only exception 😉

  • Michael R

    Tomi Lahren suspended from The Blaze
    for shooting babies out of her butt and eating them .
    Unless I heard it wrong .

    • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

      I just read that very thing on the internet, so it must be true!

    • Me not sure

      Sounds about right, anyway.

    • I wonder if she gets it, yet?
      Betting not

      • Shanzgood

        She’s pregnant.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Eva Braun did.

    • Persistent Demme

      And they call US snowflakes!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • cmd resistor

      I will be having a very limited role in taking out the trash tomorrow but no one else will be participating.

    • TJ Barke

      Weed makes them way more enjoyable, which does not work for Trump.

      • yyyaz

        Requires an actual brain with functioning cannibinoid receptors.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I’ll post this here since ya’ll are all here! :)

    https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/843910949681664001

  • Shoto
  • Sheepshagger
    • lol as if Fox did not know that before hand and just thought it was good so went with it.

    • OrG

      So,you can say whatever stupid shit you want on fux as long as trump doesn’t hear it and twat about it?

    • Mary Sandoras

      Since when has Fox been concerned with ethics and integrity? Never!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Wow — Napolitano should try Assmouth’s defense — that he wasn’t saying it was true, he was just repeating someone else’s statement. Wonder how that’ll hold up.

  • Rick Hill

    Listening to trump’s rally. I never understood Hitler’s rallys, not knowing German but I’d guess it was similar to this

    • Sheepshagger

      More coherent. Better staging.

      • cmd resistor

        Who, Hitler or Twitler?

        • Nounverb911

          Yes?

    • He’s having another rally?

      • Jamoche
        • So basically all he does is sign EOs and hold rallies and golf.
          And Fox News is so agog at how presidential he is? Who knew it would be this easy! Bamz shoulda saved all that policy crap for a country who cares

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Like Canada or Hawaii.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        He’s desperate.

      • Lord Jim

        Right here in Kenfuckistan. Because inflicting Mitch McConnell on the US year after year like a herpes infection is not enough of a cause for shame.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    The Trumpist candidate in Va GOV race is increasingly centering his campaign on protecting Va's Confederate heritagehttps://t.co/v6DaA9fN1h— Jonathan Martin (@jmartNYT) March 20, 2017

    • Tallmutha

      Clearly he knows how to appeal to the economically anxious.

    • Sophia

      Well there’s a recommendation for you if I ever saw one. “Stewart, chairman of Prince William County’s board of supervisors, was co-chairman of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign in Virginia until he was fired a month before Election Day.” Also too 2 dozen supporters???

    • Mary Sandoras

      Two dozen supporters? That’s a sure win……NOT.

    • 2 dozen does not a rally make.
      But at least the “confederate flag” really DOES have to do with Virginia. So, giving him that much.

    • Persistent Demme
  • Michael R

    No access to classified info for those under FBI investigation ?

    https://s3.postimg.org/ruuw69fub/paul_ryan_FBI.jpg

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • boredcatlady

      There’s a slow happy smile appearing on my face. David Corn today is my BFF ❤

    • Claire

      Trump & Putin’s Pandemonium Shadow Show. Well, Trump wanted to be the God-King of Creepy Abandoned Rural Murrica, so I wish him joy of it.*

      *Actually I wish him misery. Lots and lots of misery, every day for the rest of his life. That just didn’t sound as good.

  • Rick Hill

    Dang! If you thought trump lied during the campaign….he just said he’s saving the tax payers 700 billion.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ecct9jthFEI

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      700 billion what?

      • Rick Hill

        Ameros

      • BadKitty904

        Rubles?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Brain cells?

      • SpideySenser

        shek·els?

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, if you eliminate all government programs, no taxes will be needed.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        But we need to build more weapons

    • zerosumgame0005

      so he can give it out to his Russian bankers

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bet his ass is still sore from pulling that ‘fact’ out. woooweeee

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Nope. Not gonna….

      • Rick Hill

        Better to be aware than not

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I don’t believe I need to watch him live for that…

          • Rick Hill

            I was curious at how the audience was.

    • Michael R

      If this is true I might vote for him .
      Wait , is that per person ?

    • Persistent Demme

      What can be done to minimize “Desperate Donnie?”
      If this thing goes on for months…

  • Rick Hill

    Just claimed that Keystone should be built with american steel.

    Isyn

    • Sophia

      Ah, the difference between should and would.

  • Tallmutha

    According to my wife, her stepfather says Chuck Berry pulled a gun on him once. Waiting to hear that story.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    So, Ivanka is moving into a West Wing office. Could she be the last hope for Donnie Dumbass? The only person who has any control over him?

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Shanzgood

      WTF though? An OFFICE?

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        With a futon ,JIC.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        But don’t worry, she’s not on staff, but she’ll totally voluntarily abide by ethics rules because of how the Drumpf clan is so bound by normal ideas of ethics and morality.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Also too, all the government perks even though she isn’t paid. Gov. ‘communication devices’.

  • Rick Hill

    Ok. trump’s hard enough to to listen to with that voice and the non stop lies but I can’t put up with the audio of a man fellating himself in public. I’m out of it

  • Shoto
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • BadKitty904

      And they’ll deny it tomorrow. Meh.

    • Tallmutha

      After five and a half hours of grilling the witnesses, The Daily Beast asked Nunes, the committee’s Republican chairman whether he learned anything.

      “Not much, no,” he said.

      • BadKitty904

        And he certainly doesn’t intend to, either.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Exactly. What a freaking shit show.

          • BadKitty904

            Like the Cabinet “hearings” – purely a show-trial…

      • Duke

        He may not have. It was amazing to those of us who don’t get classified briefings.

    • Bombshell? To whom?
      ANYONE paying attention is not at all surprised!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I’m hearing that Paul Ryan is going to try to push the AHCA through the House Thursday. What do we do?..

    • Not get sick.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Call your Congresscritters. And if yours is a good one, call a Republican one.

      http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
      http://www.house.gov/representatives/

      I’m sure your fellow Wonketeers can supply you with the names of their own, personal Congressional shitgibbon.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Get on the phones and call your Senator. They’re the ones that need to stop this shit NOW. Gorsuch too. They canNOT approve a Justice while the administration which nominated him is under investigation.

      • BadKitty904

        Let’s Revisit All Those Times Trump Surrogates Said You Can’t Elect Someone Under FBI Investigation
        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-versus-hillary-fbi-investigation_us_58d01a73e4b0ec9d29de2c1e?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        This is the House….

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I understand. But it’s going to pass the House. We have to stop it in the Senate. Even under Recon they still need a majority and Repub Senators are wavering.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Also, my Senator is already on board with shutting this shit down…

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Both of your Senators need to know that. Tell them you have their backs and they have your vote, if they hold the line. Don’t assume they’ll be there when you need them if you don’t tell them that.

    • Duke

      He know it’ll never pass the senate.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        House…

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yeah. He’s managed to do the impossible, craft a bill that repels both the moderates and the far-right pieces of the party.

        • Duke

          Well, he can put it up and if it passes it’ll be up to the senate to throw it back. Easy-peasy politics.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Does he though? Assumes a level of intelligence not in evidence.

        • Lord Jim

          Senate has come out and said “slow down”. Which means “come up with a bill that is less obviously dickish and better conceals the fact that it is actually a tax rebate to the plutocrats”.

  • vh

    i will just say this and leave it at that. none of us ordinary folks can ever be under this level of suspicion and hope to retain our jobs. a mere whiff of non-compliance or incompetence and we would be out. none of use can ever dream of growing into a job.

    at really “important” positions there is apparently a lot more tolerance.

    • vh

      at full rate we pay taxes to be citizens. the incompetent premier himself gets a discount on even that.

  • Sheepshagger
  • Michael R

    Is it just me , or does everyone feel pretty tonight ?

    https://s28.postimg.org/l0ar1rqfx/bugs_bunny_drag_lipstick.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      Well….Sewer Rat Barbie does!

      (Sorry to be petty, but the woman must eat her nails. She’s never heard of a manicure? )

      https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/conwaynails.png

    • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

      No, feeling like my current avatar, as usual, except not as pretty. Solely due to lighting, of course, I am otherwise identical.

    • TBH, that Comey thing was such a fucking slap at the Orangministration that I can’t help but chuckle.
      But at the same time, he is holding another “rally” because that is what presidents do you see, hold rallies for supporters to whine about how they are being treated.
      AND he got snarked on by the fucking hand picked pm of Iraq right before he said we never should have left after they told us to GTFO.

    • Shanzgood

      I do!

  • Bill D. Burger

    FOX removes one turd from pile. Still stinks.

    [Fox News pulls Judge Napolitano over his Trump wiretap claims

    3/20/17: Stephen Battaglio
    Contact Reporter
    Fox News senior judicial analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano is being kept off the air indefinitely amid the controversy over his unverified claims that British intelligence wiretapped Trump Tower at the behest of former President Obama.]

    http://www.latimes.com/business/hollywood/la-fi-ct-napolitano-fox-news-20170320-story.html

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I used to like his ice cream as a kid.

      • OrG

        I still do.

      • Duke

        Then you pull out that square box and someone has dug out all the chocolate.

      • snark-lurker

        you & Duke are both a idiots

        • Vecchioivan

          You have a lot of gelato to say that.

  • Reality Kills

    “He has spent his whole life bullshitting. He has succeeded by bullshitting. He has gotten the presidency by bullshitting. It’s very hard to tell somebody at that point that bullshit doesn’t work. Because look at the results. He sees something, he doesn’t particularly care if it’s true or not, he just put it out there.”

    -F. Zakaria

    Fareed knows what he is talking about!

    • TJ Barke

      Fareed must be pissed.

  • Rick Hill

    Just claimed the wall would stop drugs….audience took a secon to react…”Oxy’s not from Mexico, is it?”

    • BadKitty904
      • Tallmutha

        What on earth is going on in that house?

        • Not sure, but I am gonna guess it is morally objectionable, ethically questionable, and possibly illegal in most states.

          Either that or a party

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ain’t no party like a hillbilly party, cause a hillbilly party don’t stop.

        • BadKitty904

          Trumpism.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Tuesday.

        • therblig

          don’t know, but guessing they’re all related by both blood AND marriage.

      • Weevie

        WOW!

    • The Wanderer

      Hillbilly heroin will enjoy a monopoly.

      • Vecchioivan

        Buy American!

    • Ωbjectifier

      Who the hell wants Mexican mota anyway?

  • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

    Reposted from earlier. Looks like we have a two front war, just like during Obama.

    Democrats Beware: Sanders ‘Movement’ Turns to Midterms

    Some are betting that the disaffected left is as or more interested in remaking the Democratic Party as it is in fighting President Donald Trump.
    While they’ve yet to prove they are capable of being any kind of a force to be reckoned with, a handful of groups that grew out of the Sanders movement have already begun issuing primary threats against Democratic incumbents.

    The democratic caucuses in both house and senate are likely more liberal than they have ever been, after moderates were culled in the 2010 and 2014 midterm election waves. The so-called Blue Dogs have been largely wiped out and even the red state senators who are Democrats’ top priorities in 2018, are historically fairly progressive for their states.

    But for Justice Democrats’ founder, liberal media personality Cenk Uygur, what seems to matter most is inflicting damage on the Democratic Party.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/stor

    • Oh Cenk, you are not helping any. Even a little. Eye on the prize, there fellow. Eye on the prize.

      • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

        He wanted Obama to resign. He has his eye on his prize, all right.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Resign for what? There were things that happened on Bamz’s watch that I wasn’t happy about, but why the fuck should he have resigned?
          I probably don’t want to know, do I.

          • He was not perfect.
            No, really.
            He did not do all the magical things they wanted him to do, right away, when they demanded it, so therefore he had to go.
            Horseshoe has become a circle of jerks

          • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

            That was it. Did not put on the Che beret and fart thunderbolts. God, they’re such fucking idiots.

          • Eh? They are listening to very manipulative idiots who made a mint railing against Bush.
            Then there was no more Bush. So what to do? Oh I know! The new president is not liberal enough!

          • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

            Bush III!!! Wall Street!!! Larry Summers!!! Ben Bernanke!!!!!
            I used to read Huffpoo and couldn’t figure out where else to go, literally every single article had literally hundreds of comments on end of that stuff.

          • But then the money dried up because hey, hip progressive (never. Bamz, love him, was a left leaning Centric always. Ran on it. WAS one. Very into bridge building and compromise from day fucking one) president so whatcha gonna do? Oh I know! The good is the enemy of the perfect, that will keep the clicks coming!

          • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

            That too. Positivity doesn’t sell in punditland. Natterers gotta natter.

          • Not even positivity. Levelheadedness does not sell it would seem.
            By all rights, we SHOULD hold people’s feet to the fire. But then they started twisting things- made it like he promised to be the bestest progressive who ever progressed and went back on his word! GASP! Never mind he did no such fucking thing, on either account. Never mind the opposition against him, the constant fight for everything. Never gave him credit for a positive because it was not far /enough/ for them and it never would have been to be honest. Dude could have handed us single payer on a silver platter and they would have said it didn’t cover enough items or it was too hard to sign up for, or whatever.
            Now of course they have no recourse; either they lose faith and back down in the face of the orange menace, or they go with burn it all down.
            Guess we see where they are headed.

          • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

            “He ran as a progressive”, now I remember. I voted for him on competence, I thought he was too right wing at first.

          • I too thought he was a bit more centric than I liked. Comparatively, Hillz was WAY more progressive.
            But I am not sorry. He was good, better than most, and the man could fucking TALK lordy

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ah yes, it’s coming back to me now. I tried not to waste precious memory space because that’s just too goddam stupid for words.
            If they want a savior they should just buy up some land in the middle of nowhere and start a cult.

          • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

            No reason particularly, it was in one of his stupid videos (not the only time, I would imagine).
            Ted Rall wanted him to resign because of the BP spill, he actually published an opinion piece about that. I never look at his cartoons.

        • I have a new conspiracy theory that folks like him are libertarians, not liberals.
          Nice they are not bothering to actually hide it anymore.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Hopefully we can shut that shit down and take a stand: Democrats do not primary incumbents from the left. Period. (I wonder if I will be politely disagreed with about this?)

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Even Joe Manchin?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          The exception that proves the rule, that guy.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            There’s always one, isn’t there?

          • It’s kinda funny how they always go after the more progressive incumbents, ain’t it? So weird they never put their energy to dislodge the few R’s with D’s after their names

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          I here ya, but it’s a miracle to have a Dem Senator in WV at all. According to the linky thing below he is smack dab in the middle between Dems and Rethugs, so it could be a lot worse.

          https://www.govtrack.us/congress/members/joe_manchin/412391

          • Bull. He throws a bone now and again but he is a fucking Republican through and through

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            But is it possible to get a more progressive Senator in WV in the current environment?

          • I do not know. We have not tried for a very long time.
            Remember: WVA is the birthplace of unionization, for all intents and purposes.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            That was when people were willing to fight and to die for their rights. Now they just watch Fox on cable while having fries with that.

      • aktlib101

        Well, I have mixed feelings. Imagine someone like Lieberman is still an incumbent. I would primary that fucker until he is out of public life. Just a despicable turncoat

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          That motherfucker ain’t a Democrat.

      • jowgajen

        <– "Establishment" Democrat, whatever the fuck that's supposed to be.

        Primary away. Have robust primaries. Hold overly comfortable incumbents' feet to the fire. Replace some with more vibrant candidates. Whatever, it's the process.

        JUST GET YOUR GODDAM ASS TO THE POLLS AND VOTE.

    • Sardonicuss

      Oh goody. Cheetolini himself could not stop the democrat’s circular firing squad.
      Man is this movie getting old….

      • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

        Maybe Queen Arianna Breitbart will return from retirement to direct the shitstorm herself, just like she did before.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Favorite response to “How can Trump lie like that while we were all watching Comey and Rogers testifying on TV”?

    https://twitter.com/MuthrBear/status/843977041296932869

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wonder if he’s ready to send em ‘ back?

    [ByMATT SHUHA
    PublishedMARCH 20, 2017, 5:58 PM EDT
    Contrary to a series of past statements on the issue, President Donald Trump said Monday that the U.S. military “should never ever have left” Iraq in 2011.]

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-says-us-military-should-not-have-left-iraq

    https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/843927224936030208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • I remember that GOP talking point.
      It was GW’s plan- signed by him! The date was set! By GW!
      But Obama did not do it SOON ENOUGH.
      Then he never should have done it AT ALL

      • Crank Tango

        The problem is he did everything while too blah.

    • Michael R

      There’s almost nothing he hasn’t said both sides of .

      https://s7.postimg.org/7dpcp01bv/trump_on_obama.jpg

      • TJ Barke

        So does he not remember saying those things, because dementia? Or does he just not stand by anything he ever says?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I suspect people will be debating this for centuries to come, if humankind makes it that long.

        • vivian

          He’s been all over the place for ever.

        • Sophia

          Because 2 minutes passed.

        • Rick Hill

          I’d say his level of discourse is affected by dementia but he is driven by his own need for trumpiness

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          The latter. He actually “believes” nothing. He’s an opportunistic attention shark, constantly swimming towards the next anything that will reflect him back to himself.

          He is the dark, stupid, dangerous version of Sweet Sam, my darling lab, who is an opportunistic omnivore — always hungry, with 110% of his attention devoted to obtaining his next morsel, though we provide strong boundaries to keep his inclinations in check. Too bad Shitler allows no one to serve that role for him.

      • Crank Tango

        He meant a different Barry O’Bama, Irish feller, is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.

    • OrG

      Today’s trump feels absolutely no obligation to agree with past trumps.

      • BadKitty904

        Hey, when you lie 24/7, it’s hard to keep track of all your lies, knowhutimean?

        • azeyote

          his attention span is 140 characters so how much memory storage could the guy have

      • Me not sure

        ..or tomorrow’s

        • Lord Jim

          Or today’s.

      • therblig

        schrodinger’s trump?

      • Persistent Demme

        Yeah, he used to be a Democrat!

  • Jim QuinnX

    There are YouTube videos of Hitler rallies with English subtitles. They remind me of somebody.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Best metaphor of the day goes to Gary Kasparov:

    “Watching this unfold today, I imagine the White House on fire and Donald Trump is running around the place with a big box of matches____and Sean Spicer is trying to get everyone to believe that the most important thing to do is find out who called the fire department.”

  • OrG

    Anyone ever noticed that trump rhymes with chump?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Okay, so today’s round of pharmaceutical drama – the mail-order pharmacy now has all the prescriptions.
    But they have the wrong co-pay structure – they say I owe $70 when the insurance says I owe $30. I call the insurance, they say it’s $30. Insurance calls the pharmacy – pharmacy says it’s $70, and apparently the only person who can fix the error is not in the office. The insurer says the pharmacy will call me before the end of the day to set up delivery. Again, everyone is super apologetic and assures me they will fix this today and I will get my medication by Wednesday.
    End of the day – no call.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Hopefully that gets sorted out for you. It sucks to be out of your medication x-x

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        No, what will suck is if I have to cancel my vacation because I have no medication to go on my vacation with. At that point, I’ll be looking for pelts to nail to my wall.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Oh my god I will whip up something together with votes if that happens.

        • When this is sorted and you return from vacay, methinks it is time to find a new pharm

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Can’t. This one is the only one in the plan for specialty medication.

          • grrrr

        • Shanzgood

          Can you get your pharmacy to accept the insurance company’s co-pay and then if someone is truly owed more money you can be billed later? Or no…? I have that all the time with lab works and such.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            No. It’s $70 up front or no sale. And if I pay and then try to fight it, it’ll take 6 months and maybe the insurer will give me a credit. Maybe.

        • Me not sure

          For presciptions filled cheap see the young man that hangs out by the back door.

        • Weevie

          India if they can send what you need.

    • Me not sure

      …and yet they like to call it a healthcare “system.”

    • natoslug

      Health insurance is awesome. I’m currently trying to convince Blue Cross/Blue Shield that the $700 in in-network labwork they refuse to pay even though it is supposed to be 100% covered, $0 copay is actually in-network labwork, and not a very expensive office visit, like they claim it is. At least mine won’t affect vacation.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Oh, see that was last year’s big fuckup that nearly screwed up my vacation – the lab didn’t actually bill the insurance for a visit, so I got socked with a $600 bill three weeks before I was gonna leave.

        • natoslug

          I’m still working on leaving the U.S. for a developed nation, as I don’t see us figuring out how to create a functional health care system in my lifetime. The feckin’ Irish even managed it recently (I’m counting anything post-2000 as recent, dammit), and they’re drunker than we are, if my stereotypes are in the slightest bit accurate! Although really, moving from paying with potatoes to a nationalised system probably makes sense.

      • Shanzgood

        They fuck you over by not telling you that the labs are either done by or *interpreted* by someone out of network.

        • natoslug

          In this case, it was all in-network. They usually save the out-of-network stuff in my case for surgery. Pretty much everyone involved in my last knee surgery, and both of my daughter’s shoulder surgeries were out-of-network. But for these labs, it was miraculously 100% in-network.

      • Weevie

        BCBS was beyond awful when I had them, but no choice at that point. They refused to pay for almost everything and we had to appeal, then appeal again, then they paid. Had a stack of appeal forms in my desk at work.

    • Weevie

      I hate getting meds locally, too. They’re out half the time, the copays are wrong, always too high, they say come back in 30 minutes and the script isn’t ready. We complain about high med costs, there’s quite a bit in all the pharmacy incompetence alone.

    • Dazza

      Cheezus Christ, how do you keep all of these obnoxious formulas straight?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    So apparently my sister either didn’t know her best friend’s stepdad attacked me or forgot (which I wouldn’t even blame her for because she’s been through a lot and I have forgot it myself, once almost for a year).

    • Shanzgood

      Did she bring it up?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        We were talking about both parents and she said, “He’s not that bad” and I responded “You know he tried to rape me, right?” and she flipped out.

        • Shanzgood

          She didn’t deny it, did she?

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            She didn’t. She was just surprised.

  • aktlib101

    If there was collusion between Russia and Little Shitler’s cabal that influenced election outcome, the Dems should not accept Pence or Ryan, instead should push for recall election or a special election. Cheating to put Cheeto in power included Pence and Bannon and Ryan also.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Yes… “if”

      • Pinkham’s Law

        The likelihood is approaching 1 more rapidly every day.

        • Weevie

          Spicer will come out and say it’s almost 2.

    • Michael R

      Absolutely , I’ve thought this same thing
      and you’re the first person I’ve heard mention it .

    • They won’t. The proper channel is VP becomes president, or speaker after him.

      • Shanzgood

        Yes, but…

      • aktlib101

        Except, VP is there because of the same cheating/collusion. Then what?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Say hello, President Ryan.

          • aktlib101

            Well, should not be accepted by the Dems. Presidential (not Senate/House) election should be re-done, if proven illegitimate. R-turds keep their Senate/House majorities.

          • But that is not how it is set up. It is set up that in cases like these, it follows the chain of command. IF Trump is found to have colluded, and I think he has, then they have to prove Pence did, or it is hullo president Pence.
            Granted, it is unlikely he will be voted back in next time. He may even choose not to bother running, for the good of the party, turning it over to someone untained.
            Now if Pence too is found to have colluded, that would lead to Ryan.
            The list goes on with less and less stellar results.

          • aktlib101

            Yes, sure. However, I still like to cling to my hope for a special Presidential election. Heh

          • Lol me too XD

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            When do we get to DeVos, Perry and Carson?

          • Snork, tbh, I think the least venomous one in the bunch is sleepy Ben.

          • Treg Brown

            Vice President Mike Pence (R)
            Speaker of the House of Representatives Paul Ryan (R)
            President pro tempore of the Senate Orrin Hatch (R)
            Secretary of State Rex Tillerson (R)
            Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin (R)
            Secretary of Defense James Mattis (I)
            Attorney General Jeff Sessions (R)
            Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke (R)
            Secretary of Agriculture Mike Young (D)[a]
            Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross (R)
            Secretary of Labor Ed Hugler (I)[a]
            Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price (R)
            Secretary of HUD Ben Carson (R)
            Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao (R)[b]
            Secretary of Energy Rick Perry (R)
            Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos (R)
            Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin (I)
            Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly (I)

          • No what? Less and less stellar results XD Until 8b we’re kinda hosed really

            Edit: Though Mattis would probably at least be sane and not a complete dick monkey, you just know we’d be at war with…everyone

          • Treg Brown

            Totally agree. And I think Young is a holdout from the Obama Admin. Not sure how that would even work.

          • They would probably fire him and replace him right before it got to him. For reasons.

          • Sophia

            Holy crap, if it went far enough you could end up with Sleepy Ben

          • I would really be ok with that at this point.

    • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

      The Constitution makes no provision for any such thing.

      • OrG

        I bet it was in the tea party Constitution when Obama was prez.

        • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

          I value an at least minimal knowledge of civics.

      • aktlib101

        Well, probably nobody thought the President can get elected via collusion with a foreign power.

    • Weevie

      Can that be done? It would be a faster reprieve.

    • georgiaburning

      Somebody in the chain of succession would need to become President and then appoint an acceptable VP who would be approved by the Senate, as Nixon did with Gerald Ford. Following that approval, he would then resign.

      It’s difficult to believe that could happen in today’s environment.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You could make a case for tossing Pence out, if there’s proof that he was complicit, but Ryan seems to be outside of and above the fray.
      There are no good options.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        The good option is take both legislative branches in 2018 and shut these fuckers down. Then Liz Warren with VP Kamala Harris win the White House in 2020.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    “KIEV, Ukraine — After his name surfaced last August in a secret ledger listing millions of dollars in payments from a pro-Russian party in Ukraine, Paul Manafort not only lost his job running Donald J. Trump’s presidential campaign but also assumed center stage in a bizarre internecine struggle among Ukrainian political forces.

    On Monday, the intrigue took another turn, when a member of Parliament in Ukraine released documents that he said showed that Mr. Manafort took steps to hide the payments, which were tied to Mr. Manafort’s work for former President Viktor F. Yanukovych. The documents included an invoice that appeared to show $750,000 funneled through an offshore account and disguised as payment for computers.

    Mr. Manafort, who denied the latest allegations, has asserted that the ledger is a forgery and that the member of Parliament, Serhiy A. Leshchenko, was involved in a scheme to blackmail him. Mr. Leshchenko insists that a letter appearing to show him threatening Mr. Manafort with the release of damaging information was itself a fake, and he denies any involvement in blackmail.”

    “Paul Manafort, Former Trump Campaign Chief Faces New Allegations in Ukraine”
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/20/world/europe/paul-manafort-ukraine-allegations-trump.html?_r=1

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Good thing he wasn’t very involved in the trump campaign, then, eh?…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Grumps is certainly making the most of International Happiness Day.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I don’t know this, but those pics of Grumpy Cat where he looks, well grumpy, he might be purring up a storm like a happy kitty. His face is just stuck looking grumpy.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            He actually has some kind of facial deformity, but let’s not the spoil the fun, OK ? (It is so fucking hard to come by these days).

          • Persistent Demme

            Resting grump face?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Follow the money. I’m sure it leads to Manafort.

  • yyyaz

    OPOS: biggest fraud in U.S. history, or all of history?

    • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

      All, probably.

    • vh

      all history. julius fucking caesar himself had neither seen nor anticipated anything like this. and he was stabbed 20+ of his own people.

    • vh

      et tu potus?

    • Blackest Noobs

      wait til you get ahold of Trump’s coming fraud.

      Let’s see make another “9-11” happen so we rally behind him while he grifts us all.

      Though this “9-11” Part Deux strategy is gonna fail. we really only go for that hometown jam military nationalistic jingoism twice a century…and we’ve used up our two..WWII and the other 9-11.

  • Nounverb911
    • Weevie

      Hmmm…what do they know?

      • Lord Jim

        And when do we get to know it?

      • Sophia

        Either know something or are trying to make the raid in Yemen seem productive. Problem is with this admin you never know which.

        “Another U.S. official says the ban on some electronics is believed to be related to Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula or AQAP. The intelligence community has been tracking this threat for some time, but the official said that some information from a recent U.S. Special Forces raid in Yemen contributed to the ongoing concern.
        AQAP has been actively trying to build bombs that contain little or no metal content to target commercial aircraft. And the group’s chief bomb maker, Ibrahim al-Asiri, has trained others to do so. To date, they are the only terror organization that has shown a marked effort to try to attack airlines, the officials said.”

        • Because, and get this, it makes other countries pay attention when they are blowing up someone else’s people.
          Note the near lack of universal howls as Palmyra was put to the knife.

    • Sheepshagger

      I think banning devices from the White House might have more impact.

      • Weevie

        Can we just ban the entire White House?

        • Ban. Reenact the War of 1812. Same thing

          • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

            Only this time, we get Canadia, right?

          • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

            Oops, gtg…

  • Juan de Fuca

    I like how CNN is covering the Trump rally by showing it in split screen with no audio while continuing the discussion about todays investigation. Give him zero fucking time.

    • At this point, the rallies are not new. He says the same stuff over and over, he makes the same stupid mistakes over and over. They are only even bothering with it at this point in case he spouts some new ridiculousness.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Has anybody told him that the crowds at Nuremberg were bigger? We might get some fun twats out of him.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Better late than never, I guess.

        • To be fair, that is the only reason they showed them. To catch a sound bite.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Would’ve been better off just reporting the sound bite, IMO.

  • Weevie

    May not want to watch this. Our President, blecchh!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkghtyxZ6rc

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just as real as his business and political successes.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Dear A Strategic Minority Of American Voters and All You Fuckers Who Couldn’t be Fucking Bothered to Vote,

      Fuck you for foisting this fucker on us.

  • I always forget how powerful this is:

    https://youtu.be/BKdSGSZfbnA

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, time for supper. Y’all behave ’til I get back.

  • azeyote

    i remember how Nixon acted more and more guilty with the missing 8 minutes, firing the investigators and the “i’m not a crook” meltdown, but Trump acts like they’ll be coming for him at any moment and not for a helicopter ride out of town –

    • Pinkham’s Law

      pedant > 18 minutes. /pedant

      • Is that a russian Peedant?

      • yyyaz

        18.5, if you want to get really small.

      • CanadianSCOTUSCaptainHowdy

        I edited one of my comments because I misquoted a direction in the orchestral score of Debussy’s La Mer.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    There once was a buffoon named Trump
    Who pulled stuff from out of his rump
    His protection cost us plenty
    Including his Trump Tower honey
    As Preznit he needs to be dumped

    EAT SHIT YOU FUCKERS WHO VOTED FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Against HRC, he was done
      But by colluding w Russia, he won
      We’ll uncover his cheating,
      Give him a beating
      & shoot Trump right into the sun!

      W/ votes.

      • snark-lurker

        Is it not about time we watered a tree (any tree) with the something red of these true-to-life traitors. If we don’t, they will try again, and again,…,…,…upon conviction with votes of course.

        • I am hoping this fiasco will put to bed, forever, the idea that government should be run like a business. Or worse, like a household.
          NO.
          Government’s role is to govern ALL THE PEOPLE. Not to sacrifice child one for the sake of child 2. Not to make the hard decisions and let people go in order to increase profit margin.
          NO.

          • Dazza

            GENERAL WELFARE CLAUSE. Article I, section 8 of the U. S. Constitution grants Congress the power to “lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts, and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common defense and general Welfare of the United States.”

            The GENERAL welfare – not the rich only.

    • Rags

      He tweets about immigrant votes
      And sounds like an ignorant stoat
      And then he tries lyin’,
      ‘Bout leaks he is cryin’
      Hope his t-bone gets stuck in his throat – with votes.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Dammit. I spent the day cleaning up my computer and updating my address book. I get here and there are already 1200+ messages! Guess I’ll just have to jump into the deep end.

    • Sheepshagger

      I question your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        and sometimes it’s Tuesday…

    • natoslug

      Use a stronger cleaner next time. Maybe some bleach and ammonia*. It’ll sparkle!

      *(do not use bleach and ammonia together, as it will not sparkle, but instead make the whole breathing thing somewhat impossible)

      • *listen to nato on that last. Made that mistake once.
        Once*

        • natoslug

          Were you young like me? I used to like grabbing everything under the sink and mixing it together to see what would happen. Sometimes with food. Fortunately, I never ate it — just tried to make different recipes while my parents were at work and school. I’m surprised I survived childhood. Being a latchkey kid was fun.

          • Shanzgood

            I had a book with all kinds of experiments in it and a sink in my room. And access to matches. That was fun.

          • natoslug

            Awwww. I never had a room sink. Just a complete lack of parental supervision. Now I feel neglected. I should have had a damned sink, dammit!

          • Shanzgood

            I set mine on fire. Several times.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I had tools. Access to the carport. And there was a creek that ran behind our house and a pond in front. Snakes and frogs were our experimental critters.

          • Shanzgood

            Well I lived in a downtown apartment so I did the best I could. With fire. In lots of colors.

          • no, I was an adult and took a job office cleaning when preggo because I needed monies and could no longer do my job.
            The men’s room looked like it had never been done because it had literally never been done. In like ten years.
            Nothing was working on it so I got creative. Immediately realized my mistake and backed the fuck out in a hurry, went around back and opened all the windows.
            But it worked like whoa!

          • Sophia

            Reminds me of my son. Took me a while to figure out what that stain on the basement floor by the floor drain was from. Vinegar & baking soda.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Volcano!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I grew up in the late ’60s and 70’s. We weren’t considered ‘latch key’. Our moms were at home but either took Mother’s Little Helper and/or day drank. So we were on our own a lot.

          • natoslug

            70’s and 80’s here, and wish I could have let my kids roam the neighborhood like feral cats like I did. We lost teeth and cut ourselves on broken bottles in the yard and broke limbs and peed on electric fences just like the gods intended. A few of us even managed to grow up without huffing gas fumes or turning to heroin or anything. Thanks, Obama!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I renewed my license with MacKeeper. The scans are really deep. And I have learned that KaBoom is the best at cleaning the bathroom.

  • Panika MCD

    TX State Sen. Van Taylor (R – Running for Congress) on why we should waive the requirement that active military and veterans don’t need to pass a gun safety test (though the bill maintains the written test because, yes, the rules in the state are different than the rules of military engagement) to get a gun license.

    When they were in the military, they probably blew stuff up and shot some guns, so they are qualified to handle–what do we call them?–a little popper.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Not all military actually *use* guns on a regular basis. Some don’t touch ’em again after basic. Much less heavy armament and explosives.

      • Panika MCD

        given that he’s a veteran, it’s hilarious that he doesn’t know that.

      • Dazza

        LARPing with you is no fun, then.

        • Courser_Resistance

          I used to have an airsoft P-90, but never found anyone to LARP Stargate with me. There used to be a group in Atlanta (I have one of their ball caps), but that’s a long way to go for a weekend.

    • vh

      lets put things in perspective. ted-soiled undies-nugent own guns for crying out loud.

      • Panika MCD

        yeah, we should fix that more than we should fix the fees. but today was about fixing the fees.

        • vh

          Panika-ji no contest.

          • Panika MCD

            hey, we also too bashed on some unions and tried to save some pension systems! Zaffirini had a bill about where to store some oaths of office and sworn statements for court officers. and Huffines keeps getting good bills sent his way–this one was about letting counties send jury questionnaires by email if they want to.

          • Trying to work on wrapping my mind around a people who would bash unions while trying to save pensions.
            It is like, idk, a mechanic trying to fix your car’s engine by removing the tires.

          • Panika MCD

            well, they’re bashing national unions. the people the state made promises to they have to be nice to. so they’re saving the pensions of the guy the worked on the road and shafting the mechanic.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Someone has told him even soldiers need to requalify every so often on the range, yes?

      • Panika MCD

        that’s kinda the point of not making them do the range test for the LTC. he did attain the rank of Major in the USMC.

    • Weevie

      Sounds like something a 5 year old would say.

      • Panika MCD

        well, he’s trying not to be the raging asshole he normally is because: running for congress.

    • Dazza

      I think that anyone (veteran or not) who has a record of domestic violence should not have a gun.

      “Having a gun in the home increases the risk of homicide 20 times when there is a history of domestic violence (John Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research, 2010)”

      • Panika MCD

        no kidding. we had a woman talking about all the ladies who were battered wives that she trained on firearms and it was all: YOU DUMB SHIT!!! but that was on a different bill. this was just not making them take the range test. they still have to take the paper test what says “is it wrong or not wrong to threaten your spouse with a gun?”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Right – we’ll send him some of the vets mumbling to themselves on street corners here in NYC. He can arm them and keep them around, for freedumb.

      • Panika MCD

        we would do it here in Austin, but we have functionally no homeless veterans thanks to the Green Door Project. maybe Killeen or San Antonio can lend us some so you guys don’t have to buy bus tickets and then we’ll hook them up with the project.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Burying Their Cattle, Ranchers Call Wildfires ‘Our Hurricane Katrina’”
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/20/us/burying-their-cattle-ranchers-call-wildfires-our-hurricane-katrina.html
    NOT “Our Superstorm Sandy” for some reason – maybe so they don’t have to acknowledge that their Congresscretins voted against relief for the Northeast. Because now they’re wondering where all the Federal relief is. And why Il Douche, who they voted for, doesn’t even acknowledge their existence. It’s almost as if he lied, and doesn’t actually give a fuck about them.

    • Not to mention they are fucking cows not actual bodies jesus fuck these people I can’t even

    • Left Coast Tom

      Mr. Gardiner voted for Mr. Trump, and said he just wanted to hear a
      presidential mention of the fires amid Mr. Trump’s tweets about the
      rapper Snoop Dogg, the East Coast blizzard and the rudeness of the press
      corps.

      Well, has Mr. Gardiner tried tweeting at Teh Donald? I mean, what’s more important, dealing with a disaster or fucking off on Twitter?

  • ⚡️ I Am Helpy ⚡️

    Tim Allen, who was briefly funny in the early 1990s

    Galaxy Quest – the only role he was ever funny in – was released in 1999, so this statement is wildly inaccurate.

    • It wasn’t really him so much as Sigorny and Allan et al.
      He was just….there.

      • Weevie

        sort of a foil for the actors.

        • He did a real good job as a jackass that others made look better. Very Kirk.

          • ⚡️ I Am Helpy ⚡️

            I never said he was hugely funny, but his Kirk parody was spot-on (mostly because he barely had to act). Basically the rest of the cast made that movie what it was.

            Still, it remains the only time he was ever funny in anything and I will fight anyone who disagrees.

          • Weevie

            This guy disagrees with everything
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkghtyxZ6rc

          • yyyaz

            The feeling is mutual.
            — The sentient universe

          • natoslug

            I dunno, he was funny in the Kimmel interview. Well, funny in the sense that I laughed at him for being a whiny no-talent jackass hack.

          • I quite liked the toy story movies so whadda I know XD

      • ltmcdies

        there were a lot of good people in that flick…Enrico Colantoni, Toni Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell….

        all Tim Allen had to do , really was show, know his line, and hit his marks

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      More importantly, you get lightning bolts in your name? I want cool images, too!

      • I want kitty heads

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          😻🐱😽😸🐯

          • YES WANT THOSE.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            In my current mood I’m more into The Fires of Hell.

            Luckily I can segregate, I’ve actually a lovely couple of days (goddammit).

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Donald Trump is having the worst first hundred days of any president ever. That includes William Henry Harrison, who died on day thirty-two.— Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) March 21, 2017

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Don’t tell trump that – he doesn’t know!…

    • Delu

      But he had the biggest crowds at his inauguration and the largest historic win in the electoral college as well as the majority vote!

      So there!

      /s

  • natoslug

    I hope the chickens have a life raft, because it’s raining heavily out there, and they’re in a low section of the yard. Damn, maybe I should check on them. Or make a Manhattan for dinner. Okay, dinner it is!

    • Weevie

      someone told me they turn into ducks when it rains.

      • natoslug

        That’s good news, then. Even less worries!

    • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

      Priorities!

    • Scrofula

      Or are they like turkeys and drown when it rains cause they stare up at the sky?

    • Left Coast Tom

      If they do drown I guess you’ll have chicken for dinner tomorrow.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        In their own broth.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Heavy rain? What are that? I am so jealous.

      • natoslug

        It’s rainy-time here in Humboldt. Should end around June.

  • Dazza

    Here in Oz it is 21 March and International Happiness Day. Here is our cat, contributing her bit to the worldwide happiness quota. Her name is Tiffany – and she is our rescued kitty. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0a2abacbb8584b591593a4449afba1db211d364612208c942c0ffc3037ee2fb1.jpg