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not a good senator

Almost exactly one month ago, Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst was trying to do a nice event with veterans, when icky constituents (ugh!) showed up and yelled at her to “DO YOUR JOB!” and said very unkind things about how they might illegally deny her another term in the Senate, by voting her out. She ran away so fast! You could hear her bread bag shoes clop-swish-clop-swishing all the way down the road, followed by a sudden porcine shriek, because well, she done cut a pig’s nuts off, for to make her feel better, allegedly. Well, it happened again! Except this time, Ernst was doing a bona fide town hall on Friday night, and oh boy, it looks like everybody except Senator Ernst had a lot of fun!

It got really good when somebody asked a question about that idiot Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, the billionaire Jesus lady who only got her appointment, we surmise, because her family has done such nice financial things for Donald Trump and the GOP.

Here is a video:

And here is a transcript!

CONSTITUENT: I am an educator and I was appalled at the nomination of Betsy DeVos for secretary of Education.

CROWD: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY CHEER YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

CONSTITUENT: I know that several thousand other Iowans also felt the same way … and voiced that through phone calls and emails. So my question to you is why did you not listen to your constituents about [inaudible because crowd says YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! again]?

ERNST: Ms. DeVos was carefully vetted.

CROWD: NO BOO BAD NOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOO!

ERNST: She supports all types of education and I support all types of education.

CROWD: GRRRRRRRRR YELL SMASH BOOOOOOOOO JONI ERNST IS THE WORST AND PROBABLY SMELLS BAD GRRRRR BOOOOOOOO!

Ernst said a bunch of horseshit about how she went to public school and she likes public school a whole lot, but “school choice” and “yadda yadda,” and the crowd just kept yelling at her, because they are obviously mean liberals who are mean.

Of course, Betsy DeVos is an absolute shitshow who knows nothing about education, as we saw in her confirmation hearing. Her history of advocacy for bullshit “school choice” programs to divert money away from public schools and into religious private schools is well known. Oh, and she apparently thinks segregation was pretty neat, because it gave The Blacks a chance to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make some really nice colleges of their own. Betsy DeVos is the worst.

The Washington Post reports that Joni Ernst’s town hall was also bad (for her) because her constituents laughed at her when she said climate change is totally normal, but that it got good for a minute when she actually agreed that Donald Trump should release all his taxes. We’re sure Ernst will be right at the forefront of pushing the “president” to do just that, you betcha.

In other fun town hall news, the WaPo also reports that over there in Kentucky, Senators Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell, as well as Rep. Garland “Andy” Barr, were invited to a very nice town hall meeting in Lexington, so people could yell at their faces and call them a fake eye doctor, a turtle-headed dildo-munch and a fuckhead to each of their faces, respectively, but they were total pussies and didn’t show up. In response, the constituents put three mannequins wearing suits on the stage, rebranded it the “Empty Suits” town hall, and it was just like all three elected Republicans were really there in the flesh, because that’s how useless they are as elected officials.

Tres Watson of the Kentucky Republican Party saw it differently:

“These are purely partisan individuals who are clearly bitter about election losses,” he said. “They’re representing fringe minority opinions of policy issues.”

Oh, keep talking like that, champ. It’s going to make 2018 even more F-U-N.

The moral of this story is that poor, put upon elected Republicans are being treated unfairly, just because they all suck at doing their jobs. We bet the only reason all these mean people are yelling at Republicans is because George Soros paid them all a million dollars, just like he did when all those people violated the safe space of sweet, delicate, Adonis-like Rep. Jason Chaffetz.

George Soros does not pay Wonkette a million dollars, so please chip in a few bucks by clicking the happy banners below!

[Washington Post / WaPo again]

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  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lizzietish81

    Did any democrats run when the Tea Party Patriots showed up at their town halls and yelled at them? No.

    Hell Barney Frank stood his ground and unleashed unforgiving sarcasm.

  • Proud Liberal

    FBI is investigating Trump and his campaign. Yes.

  • dslindc

    Must be all those paid Soros protestor coastal elites!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Three times in his opening remarks, Comey said, “The FBI is very careful not to comment on investigations…..”
    Yet the fucker didn’t have any problem during the presidential election cycle, huh?

    https://img.ifcdn.com/images/cd72a8baf02cd4b74e1527941a40929ed328520625584a6b50e3fef8b0a684fe_1.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      I hope somebody points that out to his worthless ass.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Of course Nunes is asking leading questions and making this about leaks. We need an independent investigation. These guys are a joke.

    • Creepoman

      Did Joni Ernst get to him too?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      This was definitely my favorite part, though.
      https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/843836757342863361

      • Mack N. Nietzsche

        And where was his authorization from the DOJ when he spouted off about emails? Comey needs to be sent to Levenworth.

  • MynameisBlarney

    If they’d just put some damn breadbag shoes on the damn castrated hawg, then maybe it wouldn’t be so angry…

    Or something…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Try the bread bag over your head, Joni.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot__but, apropos of the hearings, it was very, very telling last week when Granny Grassley and Feinstein came out for a second and gave a grim and terse, “There will be more later. Right now we need to go over what we’ve just heard.” ___after their briefing on Trump-Russia ties.

    Old adage in D.C.: The less a Senator has to say, the more you know there is to uncover.

    • Chadwells

      I was talking about this yesterday!!! It sucked that their expressions coming out of that intel meeting weren’t reported on more. Then yesterday Feinstein said some more cryptic shit!!

  • goonemeritus

    By carefully vetted Joni is referring to the fact that Betsy’s donation checks always cleared.

    • The Wanderer

      It’s the best kind of vetted!

  • baconzgood

    Fuck all the people (except for the people booing) in this article.

  • Crystalclear12

    Running of the Republicans!

  • If anybody’s ever casting for the role of ‘Evil Erma Bombeck’ Joni’s their gal.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Boom!

  • exinkwretch

    You elect morons to Congress and stupid things happen. How do you explain that?

    • Crank Tango

      Morons go in, morons go out…

      • Liberoid Ron

        Can we speed up the second part of that? Please?

  • Michael Smith

    Republican politicians are like

    “Why would we show up to face crowds in person? We got elected because of internet trolls.”

    • Crystalclear12

      Speaking truth to the masses?

      • Liberoid Ron

        What is truth?
        No, serious, what is it? We’ve never heard of it before.
        – R candidates

  • puredog

    You say you are not getting the sweet, sweet Soros bucks, but I don’t see you publishing the Wonkette tax returns here either.

    • Thaumaturgist

      I believe everyone who is given control of public funds ought to demonstrate competence and integrity. Honesty in paying taxes as a reasonably good proxy for ethical conduct in government. It’s also a window on potential conflicts of interest.

      • Liberoid Ron

        And I believe in the Invisible Pink Unicorn (may Her Holy Hooves never be shod!) but I don’t expect to see Her in my lifetime either.
        It’s a good idea, though. A VERY good idea.

  • arglebargle

    You can put lipstick on Joni Ernst and call her Nadine, but she’s still Joni Ernst.

    • The Wanderer

      You can put lipstick on Joni Ernst, and the pigs still won’t fuck her.

      • Liberoid Ron

        Ye gods, all that pig castration makes sense now. Hell hath no fury etc etc.

        • The Wanderer

          She’s one of the Emasculators that showed up as an occupation in the 1881 UK census.

    • LucindathePook

      Nadine, honey is that you?
      Oh, Nadine
      Honey, where are you?
      Seems like every time I catch up with you
      You are up to something new.
      — RIP Chuck Berry

    • Querolous

      Nadine Cross?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    She’s being persecuted for her sincerely-held beliefs, I tells ya!
    https://twitter.com/burgessev/status/842786592439832578

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “The climate has been changing for 6,000 years since the earth was created.”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Climate change is a normal part of the earth’s march to the Apocalypse.”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “I’ve been working for years with my colleagues in Congress for a comprehensive solution to climate change. We call it “The Rapture”.

      • Greyhame

        Just warming things up to the optimum temperature so Jesus will be nice and comfortable when he comes back.

      • ariel_gee_398

        We’ve actually only been in a cooling period because Jesus killed the dinosaurs, who were releasing a lot of methane, to make way for the white people.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Stupid librul. Everybody knows dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time. Ever heard of “Noah’s Ark”? DUH!!1!

          • ariel_gee_398

            I do know that, actually, because somehow I have landed on a mailing list for weird creationist theater productions and museums. I keep getting postcards inviting me to visit the Ark Encounter and the like.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Don’t go unless they comp you!

          • ariel_gee_398

            I should start emailing and calling them to ask if I can make reservations for a spot on the Ark when rising sea levels make Kentucky coastal.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, you gotta be careful when you donate to “the arts”…they’ll pester you with pledge requests for the rest of your life.

            I looked in on the Mormon Temple in SLC once and was fool enough to sign in on the guest sheet. After probably researching my entire genealogical history, they immediately dispatched minions to my door back in Tucson. At least they’re always very polite.

          • Old town Urbandale

            They may be polite, but thanks to the “stand your ground” law that the legislature is pushing through, since they scare me I can shoot ’em.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I don’t think I did anything to get me on this list. I assume they pay for shitty marketing people who don’t know how to find their target audience.

            But the Mormons, they’re probably just waiting for you to die now so they can baptize you and claim you as one of their own.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And my dead relatives as well. Maybe that’s why they deemed me a good target…with my Mexican heritage, I have a LOT of dead relatives.

            *which comes in handy come election time, since I sign them all up to vote! Bwahahaha!!*

          • Greyhame

            Velociraptors and Nephilim battling to the death in Babylonian amphitheaters, it’s all right there in Ken Hamm’s The Bible for Dummies. Get educated, people!

          • Snarkbot 9000

            This sounds like a movie on the Scifi channel produced by the Sharknado people. If it’s not, it damn well should be.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And THAT’s just the pre-lim for the final Gog vs. Magog extravaganza. It’ll be yooge. Good times!

        • Liberoid Ron

          I fully expect to see that quoted verbatim (without any attribution) on the Discovery Institute’s Web site.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “When Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a T-Rex it was warmer than it is today. It was just natural when the Earth was young back then.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cbda3a42a7bbbb7104d60da61ebbcbd70a3afcb158e8bf53d26c2cae3fd5322c.gif

  • Ryan Denniston

    Maybe she should stay in her safe space in Washington?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “At least mannequins are harmless. No, harmless. Only a few of us don’t have arms.”
    — National Mannequin, Statue, and Dummy Association

  • janecita

    “Snowflakes,” they need their “safe space.”

  • Old town Urbandale

    The town hall in Des Moines wasn’t at night– it was slated for 5 p.m., to make it harder for working folks to attend. (On St. Patrick’s Day, no less.) About 200 people– including me– were denied entrance because of “capacity issues.” I don’t doubt the 775-seat Sheslow Auditorium was packed to capacity… but it was repeatedly pointed out that the 7,152-seat Knapp Center just a block away was sitting empty, since Drake U. was on break. I guess we have to look on the bright side, that it wasn’t held in a cafe seating under a hundred people, like some of her rural meet ‘n greets are.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – I would like to “leak” all over Rep Tom Rooney’s (R – ed Herring, FL) shoe.

  • Mavenmaven

    “Fringe minority opinions” means you aren’t one of the Rich.

  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    You know what? This is Iowa, land of Steve King. They voted for her, they get what they deserve.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Three-quarters of Iowans don’t live in Steve King’s district and can’t vote for or against him, and tons of us voted against Joni. I assume from your avatar you didn’t vote for Trump. Did you get what you deserved? (In other words, don’t lump all Iowans together.)

      • Mack N. Nietzsche

        And yet, Iowa voted for Trump (there weren’t enough 3rd Party votes that we can blame it on Jill Stein) and Grassley, and Ernst and Blum and King…why am I seeing a pattern here? Or is not all Iowans going to be the new “not all men”?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Stop. This blaming bullshit has already gone on too long – instead, ask these Iowegians how they like Russia, how they like billionaires running the country, and whether or not they think presidents should lie every time they open their mouths…. they may be rethinking their “I don’t think girls should be president” attitudes…

        • Old town Urbandale

          Yeah, you got me there. Those of us who disagree with the majority should just stay home, keep our mouths shut, and save up to move to Minneapolis.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Hey Old town, welcome. I see you are a recent (or at least infrequent) commenter. Keep up your good work on the Resistance. We need folks like you to flip the tide.

        • Old town Urbandale

          Long time reader, short time commenter, originally spurred on by similar “all Iowans are like that” comments in response to the shooting of two policemen in my suburb (one three blocks from my house). Yep, we’re all like that, gun totin’, poor hatin’, white lovin’ racists. I only go to Republican town halls to pass out the checks from George Soros to the Chicago radicals we brought in on invisible buses.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            LOL, I like your spunk! You need to comment here more often. Even if comments aren’t allowed.

    • Bill D. Burger

      And don’t forget that fucking old partisan hack and fossil, Granny Grassley.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e9ccea447ab88a5299a8ec66ffa7ab1a180109802c46dd6d0e1a0b84fdb5624.jpg

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    I would rather the crowd let her answer the questions instead of shouting her down for the simple reason that you know she will have only 2 options: finding herself speechless or saying something stupid. In either event you’ve then got it on the record and on video and that’s gold Jerry, gold.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Joni will be alright. They’ll be plenty of hog-castrating jobs coming open after Trump rounds up all of the immigrants.

  • Blackest Noobs

    ok Democrats, don’t fuck this up like you all usually do.

    YOU GOT A HUGE GAPING HOLE HERE….FILL IT MOFOS!!!

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    “We bet the only reason all these mean people are yelling at Republicans is because George Soros paid them all a million dollars, just like he did when all those people violated the safe space of sweet, delicate, Adonis-like Rep. Jason Chaffetz.”

    It’s true. I can now afford fine, imported artisanal hay from a French organic farm.

    • Jgb979

      It’s a shame George Soros is the only one financing every single person pissed off at a Republican town hall.

      If we had even 1/10th of the number of Republican sugar daddies we could really yell right in Chaffetz’ face

    • MynameisBlarney


      You’re a uni-pony hipster foodie?

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Gotta spend it somewhere. I’m so rich, George Soros is paying me to protest myself.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Elitist!

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Yes. Do you want some? I’ll have a bale sent over.
        *rings a small sterling-silver bell*
        Raoul! ¿Donde esta, chico?

        • Liberoid Ron

          You’re too kind!

  • Jgb979

    I legit can’t wait to see 2018 R campaign slogans.

    I’m not sure how well “Barack Hussein Obama” and “but her Emails!” Will play after two years of trump.

    • Liberoid Ron

      From the look of things they’re already played out. And the Rs have nothing to replace ’em with.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Hey, who knows. Maybe next time around people will actually vote, and not get all not-so-happy faced because he the sane candidate isn’t perfect. Maybe even reconsider electing a sociopath so they can have a Jill Stein folk songy feeling in the booth.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      We’ll be lucky to get to 100 days….

    • Jim Johnson

      Seriously, what part of “lesser” do they not understand?

  • Mel

    For years I have been thinking “what is it, exactly, WHAT IS IT, that can be said about Mitch McConnell, who has apparently never had a decent photo taken of him in his adult life?” It is “turtle-headed dildo-munch.” It is exactly that turn of phrase.

  • MynameisBlarney

    “No traitor, no traitor! You’re the traitor!”

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/843813078076719107

    Seriously, you incompetent buffoon, STFU and GTFO.

    • The Wanderer

      “Incompetent buffoon” is understating the case a bit, I think.

      • MynameisBlarney

        True….but I’ve used all my good insults here at work already.

        • The Wanderer

          How about “Flat headed, cloth eared, swivel-eyed, weak-chinned, turkey-necked, tiny-fingered, micro-dicked, bowlegged, knock-kneed, flatulent, shitstained, flatfooted, pigeontoed, fornicating little Git?”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Perfect!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You left out “fat-arsed”, but other than that…bravo!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Fornicating’s not an insult. Formicating, I could accept. FAKE ANTS!!1!

          • Werewolf

            “Tiny-fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret-wearing shitgibbon.”

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Was sort of hoping we’d get an open thread in which to play today, for the purposes of Russian hearing snark. Things be poppin’ in there.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Slam downs all round on Hair Furor’s bullshit and mendacious tweets.

        Lovin’ it!

      • Liberoid Ron

        Patience, young Jedi. Make some notes and bring it up this evening. It’ll still be funny.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bbbbbbbuuttt……Hhhhhhhhilary! ___ Fucker has nothing else. More lies and deflection and the typical twitter drool.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Ha ha! Comey finally said “We’re looking at you, Donald, and all your little stoogey minions!”,,,

      • Bill D. Burger

        Loving it! It’s already better than I expected. Very promising hearing that could indeed open things up much wider and quickly.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      WHAT CONTACT?

      “Let in” to WHERE?

      In to look at WHAT?

      God damn it, how are people not getting sick to death of these half-baked insinuations that mean fuck-all?

  • Marceline

    No snark. I hope all of this energy and passion really does show up in 2018. I’m terribly afraid a lot of these people are just showing up for the marches and rallies and won’t come to the polls because it doesn’t feel “revolutionary” enough.

    • Apple Scruff

      We need to educate these people about the mid-terms. Most people don’t have a clue what they mean and why they need to show up.

    • Elizabeth Hillcrest

      THIS. So far, all Democrats have been good for is staying at home and not voting. See: LA mayoral election, other special sessions. :-(

    • writersbloc

      Shit, I’ve already put early voting dates on my calendar to go vote in my City District race in a week. It’s fucking on! #vote-oholic.

    • Jim Johnson

      Absolutely! Democrats have to solve the GOTV problem or we are doomed.

    • NastyBossetti

      I’m hoping for some of them to show up in 2017. In PA, we vote for something every. single. year.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    In other FAKE NEWS

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/20/politics/gallup-poll-donald-trump-approval/index.html

    President Donald Trump’s job approval rating has dropped to 37%, while 58% of Americans disapprove of his performance so far as president, new Gallup figures show.

    • The Wanderer

      Hence his Twatter screed this morning.

  • Nockular cavity

    I support all types of education.

    I suppose telling the twelve-year-old undocumented kid where to throw the pig gonads through gestures and such counts as a type of education, so yeah.

    • The Wanderer

      Pig Gonads is a perfect band name.

      • vivian

        I saw Pig Nuts before they were anybody.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I foresee a suit for commercialization / unauthorized use of likeness, brought by Ernst’s two functioning brain cells.

    • Greyhame

      The way she likes all types of music, both Country AND Western.

  • Liberoid Ron

    ‘fringe minority opinions’
    Hillary: 64,654,483
    Donnie: 62,418,820

    • Crystalclear12

      Everyday, all day.

  • writersbloc

    If Mitch ever does a town hall, PLEASE someone bring a “Turtle Headed Dildo Munch” poster to cheer him on!

  • Bigby

    Fuck these fucking fucks. Between their “deficits don’t matter (now that we’re in charge)” and their “we came un-armed, this time (that was so *cute* coming from our brownshirt freaks but we need a safe space from you libbbbrul rabble)”, I want that party of fascist scum hypocrites destroyed. With votes?

    • Mack N. Nietzsche

      That’s one thing you can count on. The reactionaries forgetting that the other side has the same access and interest in guns.

      • Jim Johnson

        I have no interest in guns for myself. There must be a better way to clean up Fascist scum. Let’s try some of that there “voting” in 2018 and see what happens.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I do find it striking that the Drumpf apparatchiks remember McCarthyism yet seem to have no recollection of Weather and others of their ilk…

  • Apple Scruff

    Michael Rogers looks like he wants to cut a bitch when asked about “wire tapps” and British intelligence.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He definitely has that “I am so sick of this shit” look on his face

  • Oblios_Cap

    the crowd just kept yelling at her, because they are obviously mean liberals who are mean.

    Is there another kind?

    • Mack N. Nietzsche

      Well, there are liberals with attitudes.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The humorless fucks over at The Great Orange Satan?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well, there’s the ‘goawdless heathen libruls’…
      And the ‘east coast libruls’…I’m sure there’s more, but I can’t brain today…
      I have the dumb.

    • Crystalclear12

      I lean towards tired and cranky.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, all those pissed off libruls that they’re constantly trying to create.

  • lucidamente

    Joni Ernst: making Iowa’s other senator look good since 2015.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    ERNST: She supports all types of education and I support all types of education.

    One of the saddest aspects of these fuckers is that despite all their efforts to cut the balls off education and other American institutions of a shared American ethos, their infamy will not last beyond Trump’s tenure. They must not realize that whatever fuckery they are up to, is not really what will last in the long run. Theirs is only a temporary fart in the longer-term winds of change for the better.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Some of these legislators need a little “back of the barn” education….just sayin….

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      No, it just means that when Murica comes to its senses and elects a slate of Dems to clean this shit up, once again they’ll have to spend years just getting us back to the starting line. The opportunity costs of electing these shit weasels is staggering.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I would offer that as the DNC and the Resistance move forward, we do so with a mindset of a JFK future wherein we will have the opportunity to re-create our nation’s role in the world and the promise of an American ethos of shared sacrifice, investment in each other’s basic humanity, and optimism.

    • Harbinger08

      Thank you. That is actually a critical message to get across. It is our best weapon against despair.

    • bupkus23

      She also supports eliminating the federal Department of Education ( but moving the student loans programs under Treasury ). She says 94% of DoE personnel are “non-essential”, which may be true under the federal government definition of “essential personnel”, but does NOT mean that they are the wastrels she seems to think they are…

      She also opposed “Common Core” – but methinks she misunderstands that, as well.

    • Joseph Stans

      Finally a literary and scholarly analysis. Thank you Cousin Itt

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Trump’s election is the last desperate failing of a group that history is abandoning. his election was their last ditch effort to stop it, thats what Make America Great again really means.

    • weejee

      An she support teaching science only if it agrees 110% with at absolute literal interpretation of the evilgelical Bible, better known as the Jebus Bibile.

      • Werewolf

        Upfist for “evelgelical”.

  • cheetojeebus

    “Fringe Minority opinions” snort! choke…FUCK YOU douche slurper who supports a president with numerous fucking nazis in his employ.

  • beatbort

    Joni Ernst is just surprised to learn that she’s the dumbest person in the room.

    • Liberoid Ron

      You’d figure she’d be used to that by now.

    • Rick Hill

      Is it that or that everyone’s not as stupid as she thought they were?

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        I think it’s this one.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      You’d think she’d be used to it by now.

      Oh wait – I forgot. She usually hangs out with Republicans.

    • Nockular cavity

      “That’s funny. I’m the smartest creature in the barn, most of the time.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, is this that extreme vetting I’ve been hearing so much about?

  • Joseph Stans

    If Ms Senator Ernst actually did suck it might be a mitigating factor in judging her overall performance.

  • The Librarian

    It’s interesting that most of the town hall gatherings I read about only seem to have people that are unhappy with the direction the country is taking (agreed!). Where are the folks that supported these people? Not interested in what their reps/senators have to say? No courage of convictions? Hiding in their safe space?

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      The Right would claim that they are too busy working, I think its because they are passed out myself

    • vivian

      No True Leader to worship. If it ain’t Trump, they don’t care.

    • Rick Hill

      They saw a rocky road and chose the people who wanted to drive off the cliff. Now they’re thinking it might have been a bad idea….

      • The Librarian

        Ah, so areyousorryyet.com

        • Rick Hill

          Only problem with taking the high ground, in this instance we are still going to be drowned along with all of them

          • The Librarian

            But I prefer to go down fighting. :)

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I think they’re afraid to wear their MAGA caps in public…..guilt can do that….

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Amelia

    Now that I’ve been watching for 1 hr 20 m I’m starting to think the only important thing in this hearing is going to be that Comey confirmed the investigation exists and Trump’s wiretapp claim is BS. That was in the first half hour.

    Also learned how easy it is to determine whether the person speaking is R or D: asking about Russia? Democrat. Whining about leaks? Republican.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yup, the only thing fucking Gowdy wants to do is insinuate that someone from the Obama administration leaked something

      • Amelia

        His voice is really grating on me. What a stupid little rat.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          sniveling little shit

          • Amelia

            Jesus, is his time not up yet? Shut up asshole!

          • Suttree

            I had to turn it off. I couldn’t stand another second of his voice.

          • Amelia

            Snarky Mr. Schiff is back now fyi!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      What I found interesting is Comey’s response to questioning about Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, et al. Up until this point, his refusals to answer substantively were well-composed, lawyerly averrals about the classified nature of the information being sought. Then we hit the Russia line of questioning, and suddenly it’s a barely-concealed panic about how “this is going to a place where I’m not comfortable with it going”?! I’ve no intelligence experience, but that’s not precisely the same as classified, now is it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        there’s a bunch of smoke there and the flames are threatening to burst out

  • weejee

    My avatar says nuts to you Joni. Here, some non-kitteh good time.

    • The Wanderer

      The second most intelligent life-form on Earth!

      • vivian

        (In our opinion)

        • The Wanderer

          They’re smarter than us. We’re third. Of course, the most intelligent life-form on Earth are two white mice, the three-dimensional projection into our universe of hyper-intelligent pandimensional beings.

          • vivian

            Did you mention a panda?

          • The Wanderer

            Pandas are cute, therefore evil.

          • vivian

            So we shouldn’t mention them. I guess that’s why I’m not pandamentional.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It would cause Pandamonium

          • Tacoclamgenda

            I can bearly believe you said that!

          • Thaumaturgist

            Don’t panda to Lance.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            Good point!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            You know who else was both cute and evil?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Meghan McCain?

          • Doug Langley

            The Boys from Brazil?

          • Doug Langley

            You wouldn’t happen to work at a zoo, would you?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3tNgwQwKK4

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I am beginning to be convinced that most animal and plant life is “smarter” than we are, in the big picture.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Even the so-called “lesser” animals know enough not to shit the nest. Us? Not so much…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Dolphin 2020 – Smarter Than Trump

      • Kakkeltje

        So is Amoeba 2020.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      When I was a kid, they were my favorite animal, bar none. Obsessed I was, read books & books about ’em.

      Still like ’em. And those motherfuckers in Taiji need to have a talk with some Greenpeace ninjas. Armed ninjas.

      EDIT: Sorry for negative nellie non sequiturs. Dolphins pretty. Thanks for posting.

      • Shibusa

        I thought of The Cove as soon as I saw that GIF. :-(

  • Oblios_Cap

    With that mouth, I’m thinking Joni just bites those hog nutz off.

    • LucindathePook

      Eww, like the reindeer in Mondo Cane.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    “Go eat a bag of dried, lightly salted pig testicles, Joni!” the crowd chanted in unison. (alledgedly)

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    “Will you confirm that the leak into the classified information has started?”

    “No, because unlike you, I’m not a dumbfuck who confirms the existence of classified information in a public hearing”

    Fucking Gowdy is useless

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s pretty much Operational Security 101 to NOT let the enemy know how well he is doing, or even that you are on to what he’s doing. Where do they find these dickheads?

      • The Wanderer

        America?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        South Carolina!

        ~Says proud South Carolinian

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        shorter Gowdy- “who cares about Russia meddling in our election or the possible collusion of the Trump campaign to do so?”

        “Can we blame a Democrat for something?”

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I just said the same thing above. Gowdy seems completely unconcerned that we have a president who was colluding with a hostile foreign power. His primary concern is “who is doing all this leaking so that the public knows that Russia is manipulating our president?”

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            he is so blatantly partisan it’s disgusting

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Yeah, and he’s from my state, so I’m really proud of him, Jim DeMint, Mark Sanford, Miss Lindsey, etc…

          • Thaumaturgist

            In all fairness we’ve been waiting 75 years, more or less, to scuttle the New Deal and if it takes an enemy spy to push us over the top we owe a debt of gratitude to that spy and his paymasters.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            The scary part is that’s probably a quite accurate summation of their thought process right about now

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            “Sure, Putin may be a murderous thug, but do we really want Hillary Clinton trying to provide affordable health care for poorer Americans?”

  • Crank Tango

    OT– Chump’s approval rating at 37% per Gallup. My wife got polled by them and was VERY happy to share her opinions.
    http://www.cnbc.com/2017/03/19/president-trumps-approval-rating-dips-further-as-americans-eye-key-policies.html

    • From Russia with Love

      A once in a lifetime opportunity to tell the pollsters how much you hate Trump’s guts! That’s cool.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I don’t know what poll it was, but they got me last night. It was mostly about politics and the economy, an automated poll. Gave me the opportunity to say Trump is a shitshow. Good time!

    • Rick Hill

      Proly the most informed group of respondants, ever.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Reuters has Trump at 44%.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Isn’t that an old poll? Gallup showed a significant drop just in the last week.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          They have a running poll that I check every day. I think it’s four days old. Maybe his constant golf trips are what’s pissing people off?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        538 consensus has him at 42.6%…

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          As long as his approval rating is falling, I’m happy. I hope he manages to drag that whole stupid party down with him.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      At least Trump has an 80% positive rating on RT.

      • OneYieldRegular

        On RT, Trump’s show is running second only to “How to Double Your Annual Potato Crop Yield”

  • Nick Scroggs
  • memzilla Ω
    • The Wanderer

      Use of ‘bullshit’ would cause half of these delicate snowflakes to get the vapors.

    • Shibusa

      Apropos of nothing but I learned from NPR today that Comey is 6’8″!

      • BearGHAZI

        I didn’t know they stacked cowardice that high

    • StlSaxist

      1) 45 under investigation for Russia ties. 2) Hillary is not, despite deflective tweet. 3) No evidence of Obama-ordered wire tapp (sic). 45 is having another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Yay! #youlyingfucker

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nightcrawler

    An exciting new career and education awaits you at DeVos Community College!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Trey Gowdy gets to the heart of a hostile power interfering with our election: “why are US citizens under surveillance when colluding with foreign governments?”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Gowdy is such a weaselcunt. I’d much rather know whether the Russians fucked our electoral ass than whether people who leak that data get fucked over for doing so.

  • I’m sure it comes as a real shock to most of these Republicans that there are people out there called “constituents” who might be … unhappy … that their elected officials aren’t paying attention to them. Why, all those PAC’s and Fox News have been telling the Republicans they’re absolutely “Real Americans!”

    • The Wanderer

      Hey, they bought the “We will be welcomed as liberators” bullshit.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And their big money donors love them, too

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    What should Rethugs do if they are so fucking concerned about leaking?

    Depends.

  • Trey Gowdy sure am GRRR MAD this morning on my teevee.

    He’s even slickered down the BJ Handle on the top of his head to show he is SO SERIOUS.

    • Bill D. Burger

      He’s a hack and pinhead who is there to support and defend Turnip. Like most Rethugs, he invariably puts party over country.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The funniest part is, despite all his whining about Lynch and Obama and unnamed Dems being potential leakers- odds are the that the leaks actually came from warring factions within the WH

  • Me not sure

    “… and don’t even get me started about our house shoes.”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b5577079e28f5595b6cbbb282dffcfde73616098c2af06dee60d9b9b69014b74.jpg .”

    • Loafers?

      • The Wanderer

        You win an internet.

        • I yield the award to Rep. Adam Schiff of the House Intelligence Committee

      • Me not sure

        You can’t beat French style.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        For the well-bred…..

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          The well-heeled upper crust, as it were…

          • Querolous

            The ones with dough.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Of course, they’d never EAT that kind of bread. It’s not…”Wonder-y” enough. Too hoity-toity to eat.

    • Nockular cavity

      Your slippers are looking kind of seedy.

      • Doug Langley

        Are you kidding? They cost a lot of dough.

      • Me not sure

        Well played.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      When we weren’t wearing bags, we were wearing baguettes.

      • The Wanderer

        Designer French Bread shoes? Elitist!

  • Harbinger08

    I live in Lexington and that tool Tres Watson is right, in as much as McConnell, Paul and Barr are widely loathed here by those who are not white evangelicals, and they lose this town in elections every time, just like Trump did. But they have the hillbilly clod-kicker vote out in the sticks sewn up, so they just tell the voters here and in Louisville to just fuck off. They don’t even pretend to care, and those poor ignorant racist dumb fucks just love it. It’s the same as Trump yelling his fanatics they should go punch a reporter in the head.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Jim Himes “Mr. Comey, can you explain why Trump insults everyone he comes in to contact with, OTHER than Vlad Putin, his boyfriend?”

    • Amelia

      So nice when the Dems get the mic back. No more Gowdy, for the love of God.

  • Jennaratrix

    Remember when the Tea Baggers dressed up in tricorn hats and “colonial militia” gear and showed up to constituent and campaign events yelling and being generally disruptive, and they fucking WON THEIR POINT and got people elected because those people were afraid not to listen to their constituents, even when their constituents were RWNJs who barely knew what they were even protesting about? Yeah, me too. And finally, so do the rest of us who vote Democrat. And we’ve finally learned that being polite, and nicely calling our representatives’ offices, and nicely going out and voting on election day gets us a fucking narcissistic douchecanoe as a president, gets our candidate vilified for bullshit email/Benghazi nonsense, and gets us a Republican-dominated legislative body who thinks they can do whatever they want because they have some sort of mandate; which is what they will continue to think if we don’t show up at their town hall meetings and LOUDLY tell them how wrong they are.

    Yep, it sure looks unruly and rude. And as long as it doesn’t get violent, it’s about fucking time.

    • Nightcrawler

      This. As far as I’m concerned, those who claim people are being “too angry” at Republican Senators can seriously sit down and shut up. They were kicking and screaming for the last 8 years.

      • Jennaratrix

        Because they hated the black guy. At least we have actual reasons.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        or they’re mainstream “journalists” who were so dopey from the methane rising off their both sides bro bullshit that they got played into helping make this happen, and they’d rather we go all the way under than own it.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          Hey now! The NYT did find clouds and fog and shadows at the Clinton Foundation! All that guy at WaPo found was evidence of tax fraud in the Trump Foundation.

    • Suttree

      I was just googling Booker and Menendez town halls because I want to go yell at them. I haven’t found anything yet. Leaving messages doesn’t seem to be doing anything yet.

      • Jennaratrix

        I have no faith that Roy Blunt is going to be doing town halls any time soon; thank goodness for Emanuel Cleaver and Claire McCaskill. Fucking Missouri.

        • Suttree

          Misery. My apologies.

          • Jennaratrix

            Someone *should* apologize. I grew up in Massachusetts, this place is like a foreign country to me.

          • Suttree

            Hehe my gf Lizzie grew up outside of Boston. She is one of those awesome Massholes.

          • Jennaratrix

            Oh, I’m definitely a Masshole. Where is she? I grew up in Stow.

          • Suttree

            She is in Brooklyn, but she grew up in Somerville. I live in Jersey, so I can bitch about governors also, too.

          • Jennaratrix

            I think you and I have talked about this before, either that or I’m having wicked deja vu.

          • Suttree

            Wicked awesome!

          • Paul

            Hello from the hilltowns of the Berkshires

      • Sally

        My rep. John Moolenaar, likes to talk to ‘small groups’ of supporters. He holds teleconferences with 5500 people at once. No local meetings except with donors. We have asked nicely, pleaded, and cajoled. So far, he SAYS he will hold ONE open meeting somewhere in our huge district in April. Wanna bet it’s a weekday afternoon so no one with a job can attend?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.
      — Molly Ivins

  • Foocatchoo

    Joni can see Russia from the top of the corn silo in which she lives…

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Maclare

      This is my district. We will probably get a run off.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I just dropped a wad of money on Ossoff.

  • Shibusa

    Who cares that Joni attended public schools? DeVos didn’t! She never attended or worked in a public school. She knows nothing of Pell Grants, financial aid, student loans or special ed. The only things she gives a shit about are vouchers and charter schools.

    • Sally

      And Grouch thinks special needs kids are NOT entitled to an education (or food or clothing, no doubt.) But of course, that severely deformed fetus that will die after a week of million dollar a day treatments MUST be carried to term and delivered, because Baby Jesus.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    We will hold her accountable

    Oh, so you’ll keep an eye on the utterly unqualified Secretary of Education and maybe give her a slap on the wrist if her incompetence becomes too obvious? Good to know!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/497648a07b5e20be17cee01daa13f25156964ec2b560b160c97c6339bf5f0c16.jpg

  • Suttree

    “cabal” Drink!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Hillary’s emails!” Drink!

  • Beowoof14

    As always republicans run on the slogan government doesn’t work, then they get elected and prove it. Joanie should be back working the biscuit line at Hardee’s for that Putzer guy who couldn’t be a cabinet member.

    • Nounverb911

      Republicans are the politicians that Ayn Rand warned us about in Atlas Shrugged.

      • Beowoof14

        I have never been able to bring myself to read Ayn Rand’s horseshit.

        • Nounverb911

          Nine days on the Leonardo daVinci from Genoa to New York….

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I’ve tried and failed twice to read one of her books. The writing was terrible and the ideas were so illogical. I tried to read one where one of her female characters was bitching about how the leeches of society wouldn’t pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Guess what bootstrap lady’s job was? She was an heiress. I shit you not.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Felt so up the other day while cleaning out the stables when my wife said, “You know. You and Jim Himes could be brothers you look so much alike.” ___ and then added as she left: “Of course, he’s much younger.”

    Ooooooooooo!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Apple Scruff

    DID HILLARY CLINTON TALK TO PUTIN TOO? DRINK.

  • Amelia

    Oh FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

    “What will you do if the Clintons did it too?”

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I said this before. Let them shit bags develop, organize and get approved a charter school. Then attendance is completely by lottery. It was Emily Couric’s idea (Yes, Katy’s sister from the famous AOT,K.) Parents who wanted “better” education in Virginia didn’t want it except for their own kid.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      If we’re going to have charter schools I could live with this.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        It basically killed the charter movement in VA.

        • Tacoclamgenda

          I didn’t know that. Will go check it out. Thanks.

  • Bill D. Burger

    You know who else talked to Russians?

    • Beowoof14

      Hitler.

      • Bill D. Burger

        And boooooooooooooy’ that didn’t end well, huh?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, remember when POTUS wasn’t the head of the Hitler/Stalin pact? Good times.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The Chinese?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It didn’t take long for the “both sides colluded with Russia to wreck Hillary’s campaign. When will she be arrested?” argument to come up.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Gulag her up! Gulag her up!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        but but Clinton Foundation!

        they are so fucking transparent

    • Nounverb911

      The guy that invented Russian Dressing?

    • Jeffocaster in the desert
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      American astronauts?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Sarah, while hanging her laundry on the front porch?

    • Suttree

      Stanislaw Lem? Shut up! It was a Russian movie. :p

    • Crank Tango

      Yakov Smirnov? Then again, in Soviet Union, Russians talk to you, or something.

    • calliecallie

      Gregory Hines?

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Other people in a hurry?

    • NastyBossetti

      Stan Beeman, like all the time, without even knowing it?

    • Alan

      Hungary. Went well for them.

    • Edward Snowden

    • theblackdog

      Former FBI Agent Robert Hannsen?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “When will Hillary be arrested for letting Putin hack in to her emails?”

    ~Non Partisan Hack Republican

    • Nick Scroggs

      “But she and Podesta never said the emails were fake!”

  • “clop-swish-clop-swishing…”

    The most delightfully evocative snippet of prose I’ve ever read.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      I make the same noise whenever I wear a ball gown.

      • Natalie Frenshen

        Heels are a bitch.

  • Amelia

    “But how did you KNOW Putin’s preference was Trump?”

    “Um, because I’m not a moron?”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Because he hates Hillary’s guts?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Look, something about sportsball, I’m an idiot from Texas, argle bargle, why isn’t Hillary in jail yet?”

      • Amelia

        Was he trying to say that the FBI cheated off the Washington Post’s homework and therefore how do we know it’s not FAKE NEWS? Because once he asked if the reporters helped write the FBI report I took out my headphones to stop the stupid.

        • Carpe Vagenda
          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Oh, FFS…(sorry, Callie)….

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Any word on why Tifanny totally didn’t let Brandon get to first base with her back in 2012? Is it because he really liked Jessica better, and she was sloppy seconds?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            omg, did you hear the One Direction story? They’re getting paid attention to because a piece of het porn some fangirl wrote is being turned into the next 50 Shades movie, and it turns out that they had a Trump run in.

            Payne stated that Trump had phoned their room asking if they’d be happy to meet either Ivanka or Tiffany – which daughter remains unclear – and their manager declined after refusing to wake them up.

            Trump then proceeded to throw the entire band out of the hotel, and even refused to let them leave through a secret exit.

            Payne continued: “He said ‘well, wake them up’ and I was like ‘no’ and then he wouldn’t let us use the underground garage. Obviously, in New York, we can’t really go outside. New York is ruthless for us. So hewas like, ‘OK, then I don’t want you in my hotel.’ So we had to leave.”

            (I’m going to go out on a limb and say it wasn’t the married thirtysomething)

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I DID read that story, and OMG, it was so typically Trumpian – expecting people who were stars to wake up and meet his dopey daughter. Like they have NOTHING better to do.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            So very classy.

          • ltmcdies

            so….they have those documents published in the issue…right????

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I’m reliably informed that Alex Jones waved his arms whle hairy.

          • Continuation of Bush program to spy on ALL AMERICANS.

            Fucking idiots.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          You’re a smart woman.

  • Nounverb911

    Looks like things are getting interesting on capital hill, when does donnies explosive tweeterihha explode?

    • Hopefully he’s too terrified to tweet.

    • theblackdog

      He already was this morning.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Can I just say how glad I am that one can actually go after right-wing trolls here? Like, for example on Slate, they can take over a thread, be all “Obama administration believes its own lies and propaganda”, “Should’ve just called Hillary and the DNC libtards in your article”, “”Liberals have been loonies for decades”, “Trump’s giving more freedom than socialism in Cuba and Venezuela”, etc. Like there, they somehow get likes and very few people questioning them, and you have to create an account to comment, and if you say anything too nasty, you’re likely to get banned than the guys calling people “libtards”. Here, you can argue with them, and come close to what might count as “winning”.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      What do you mean, “close”?….

      • Nick Scroggs

        Well they usually flee before it’s over.

        • Or receive the banhammer of loving correction.

  • Lizzietish81
  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Stone will respond by taking the Fifth.
    https://twitter.com/RogerJStoneJr/status/843847938828881923

    • Nick Scroggs

      Between him, the Donald, Steve Bannon, Trey Gowdy, Jared, all of them and Eric Garland, I just pray so hard that they all get heart attacks and die within the next month.

      • With votes. Even with these guys.

        • Nick Scroggs

          Can you recall elect a whole administration?

          • I think that’s why Nancy Pelosi took “impeachment off the table” back in the good old days. If they impeached Bush, they’d have to also impeach Darth Cheney, which would make her president. Which wouldn’t look good. In this administration, it would be Pence, then Ryan (SHUDDER!!!).

    • As long as he pays for the fifth first, perfectly legal.

    • He can do it in court, when they try him for treason.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • calliecallie

    Steve King…Grrr.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Spinning the false equivalencies.

  • Apple Scruff

    Peter King — trying to put words in Comey’s and Roger’s mouths.

  • Chadwells
  • Me not sure
    • vivian

      Sole food!

    • Doug Langley

      Looks pretty cheesy to me.

  • Apple Scruff

    Adam Schiff looks a little like Andy Kaufman.

    • laughingnome

      Andy Kaufman was a genius.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      THIS. He could blab all about HER EMAILS!!! but Trump Russia, not a peep.
      Fucking asshole.

  • Me not sure
  • BadKitty904

    OT: An ignorant people are easily enslaved.

    IHEP Launches #CollegeNotPrison Awareness Campaign
    According to a recent analysis of federal data compiled by the Institute for Higher Education Policy (IHEP), state spending rose by an average of 5% for higher education and 89% on corrections between 1989-2013.
    http://www.ihep.org/press/news-releases/ihep-launches-collegenotprison-awareness-campaign

    • NastyBossetti

      That’s a depressing statistic.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Tea Party policies at their finest.

      • BadKitty904

        Republicans own more for-profit prisons than they do for-profit colleges, soooo…

  • Nounverb911
    • DainBramage

      The GOPers would be just fine with Preznit Pence.

  • Michael R
  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Wanderer

      Cat?
      Strawberries?

      • MynameisBlarney

        *shrugs*

        Don’t ask me, I just work here.

        • The Wanderer

          Looks like the parrot’s swooning over the melon. “All – ALL – all for me!!”

      • rachelmap

        Londo Molari: But this…this, this, this is like… being nibbled to death by, uh…Pah! What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet…go “quack”.
        Vir Cotto: Cats.
        Londo
        : Cats! I’m being nibbled to death by cats.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Pictured: The WH Press Secretary and the First Lady.

    • Logic of Color

      Ya know why they call it an XBOX 360?

    • Natalie Frenshen

      I guess LSD is making a comeback.
      Maintain, it will wear off soon little buddy.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Awwww, I love parrots.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Can’t you read?
        That’s clearly a cat!

        • Rags

          There are FIVE lights!!!

  • The Wanderer
  • James Comey is starting to break a sweat.

    • The Wanderer

      Good. Grill him for another 10 hours and serve him on a toasted bun with fries.

      • Nounverb911
        • Suttree

          I really want to live in that alternate universe where Hillz is cock-punching everyone. I still wear my Hillary t-shirt from Wonkette. I dare anyone to say something about it!

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Jane Curtin libel.

    • I punched a theoretical Nazi when I was listening to that portion of the hearing.

    • Greyhame

      What, did he publicly put a list of names out there?

      • Suttree

        I have here in my hand a list of 205…….

        • Greyhame

          To hear these Republicans at the hearing tell it, the real tragedy with the whole Nixon-Watergate scandal was that we persecuted that poor, sweet man into early retirement, rather than hunting down that nasty Mark Felt (a.k.a. Deep Throat) to string him up as an example for other would-be snitches.

    • Alan

      Wouldn’t want to get in the way of a Russian spy in a high government post would we? WTF is wrong with these people?

    • onedollarjuana

      Now, who is really the McCarthyist here?

      Also, Gowdy is much more interested in who spilled the beans, not how poisonous those beans are.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      God he whistles when he talks just like GOB on that one episode of Arrested Development. He makes my ears bleed.

    • Stulexington

      I wonder if it’s actually him and he’s trying to throw suspicion around. Mainly because reflexively assuming projection.

  • cats530

    “Almost exactly one month ago, Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst was trying to do a nice event with veterans, when icky constituents (ugh!) showed up and yelled at her to “DO YOUR JOB!”

    I wonder if that was before or after Lyin’ Ryan’s announcement of budget cuts of 10% to veterans programs.

  • Chadwells
  • Chadwells
  • cats530

    ERNST: Ms. DeVos was carefully vetted (and I received five figures out of that deal – so yes, she was very, very carefully vetted).

    • Bill D. Burger

      “vetted” = “check cleared”

  • cats530

    You know much as I despise McClintock, I’ve got to give him credit for showing up to townhall meetings, where he gets brutalized. Aqua Buddha and Needle-Nose Prick McConnell are cowards. Perhaps they should be publicly flogged with a pair of bootstraps.

  • MynameisBlarney

    For fucks sake CNN…

    Why are you shocked?

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028818670

    We’ve been screaming this since like, forever.

    • Suttree

      Something, something both sides do it?

    • Doug Langley

      What exactly does a news organization do if not cover news?

    • I think the shock was that a Republican said something true on cable news…

    • Geez, Poppy must make $3mil a year. That means she’s in the Richest 0.1%. Must be smarter than us!

      /s

  • Nounverb911
  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I’d be very careful when someone with Joni Ernst’s background says someone’s been ‘thoroughly vetted’. Has Betsy DeVos been spayed?

  • calliecallie

    I wish this hearing on my computer had a pause button.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Trey “Conehead” Gowdy to launch yet another Hillary investigation….

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028819732

    • cats530

      Oh FFS.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      I’ve heard that she would return DVDs that she hadn’t rewound.

    • Doug Langley

      And just wait till they crack the story on her parking violations!

      • MynameisBlarney

        The one that they’ll REALLY go complete apeshit over is the “Overdue Library Book Scandal of ’63”!

  • cats530

    “We bet the only reason all these mean people are yelling at Republicans
    is because George Soros paid them all a million dollars, just like he
    did when all those people violated the safe space of sweet, delicate, Adonis-like Rep. Jason Chaffetz.”

    I’ve heard the Soros Bucks program works similar to the now-defunct S&H Greenstamps program, where for every rally you attend you are awarded some stamps. When you get home you lick your stamps and paste them in a special booklet. When your booklet is filled, you take them to the Soros Bucks Redemption Center and pick out your prizes.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Can expats get in on this?

      • efoveks

        Why not? As long as you are voting illegally, you might as well get paid, amirite?

    • cmd resistor

      I’ve still got a nice pair of sewing scissors my mom got me with Green Stamps. I bet they are close to 50 years old.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        I remember going to the exchange store to pick things out. I’m pretty sure I used all mine when they went out of business but I have a bunch that were my mom’s.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Can we add our leftover S&H books when we send them in. Don’t care about the cash but I could use a microwave.

      • Jon Sussex

        I got rid of mine because I ended up using it only to take selfies.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      I got a great iPhone when I traded in my food stamps and the SorosBux might get me that new Cadillac El Dorado mega SUV with the hip-hop bouncy. Not of those Truck Nutz, It’s going to SUV Bewbs!

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Damn, you’re my new role model.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • efoveks

      Too bad Sean Spicer isn’t this cute when he does it.

    • SORT OF OT BUT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT MAYBE NOT

      We were watching SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS the other day when I noticed the animals do all their cleaning, cooking, washing, baking, etc. WITH THEIR BUTTS.

  • rocktonsam

    lock her up!

  • Poly_Ester

    Did the Senate’s “vetting” of deVos determine anything beyond the fact that she doesn’t have cooties?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They did a deep, thorough inspection of her bank balance.

    • LesBontemps

      It’s pretty obvious that DeVos has cooties, and now Joni Ernst has them too, judging by the crowd’s reaction. Does AHCA cover cootie shots?

      • calliecallie

        Circle, circle, dot, dot.
        Now you have a cootie shot.
        (must credit Big Bang Theory)

    • onedollarjuana

      Assumes facts not in evidence.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Don’t dismiss the cooties too soon. And if she does havem’…we know where she gottem’!

      http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xMhWP8NnJTM/VfepsJD5NRI/AAAAAAAAJ64/9AWA9x1xBz4/s640/TrumpHasCooties_KarlRove14Sept2015.jpg

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      How about crabs?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    In response, the constituents put three mannequins wearing suits on the stage, rebranded it the “Empty Suits” town hall, and it was just like all three elected Republicans were really there in the flesh, because that’s how useless they are as elected officials.

    Can we send the mannequins to Washington? They’d be better than 95% of the current GOP membership, and at least then we’d have some truth in advertising.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Can the Mannequin be Kim Catrall?

    • ManchuCandidate

      Plastic dummies are smarter and more charismatic than today’s GOPers.

      Except the excretable theme song… Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Mannequins… that were without the heads.

      If this were a literary work, one might call that foreshadowing.

  • OT: The Best Healthcare System in the World?

    We can’t even get toilet seat covers right….

    Toilet seat covers are too thin to stop the transmission of germs…
    http://www.attn.com/stories/15755/truth-about-toilet-seat-covers
    https://media.giphy.com/media/14xGR77eAuyHJu/giphy.gif

    • You’ve got the 3rd worst health care system of countries that are actually touching you… (Probably, I don’t actually know what Mexico’s health care system is like…)

      • epazote

        Mexico’s health system is very good
        Universal single payer (Seguro Popular) full coverage, no co-pays, no deductibles, no caps, includes ALL medical care, basic eye and dental care, all prescription meds. Maximum cost of coverage $150 US per person annually. Cost based on income

        Private, for profit hospitals, medical providers, Dr’s, pharmacy’s…50-90% less than prices in the usa.

        • theblackdog

          I can back this up on the pricing as I lived near the US-Mexico border and a lot of people would cross into Mexico to get dental and optometry work done as it wayyyyyy cheaper than the US and just as good or better.

          • epazote

            Most often the quality of care in Mexico is far better than in the usa. I refuse to be treated by any dr’s, dentists and/or optometrists in the usa…all my medical providers are in Mexico.

      • If I was those other countries, I’d put on rubber gloves before touching America. 😁

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I wish tomorrow would quit becoming today. Close to keyboard face, so g’night my good Wonketeers. Keep an eagle eye on those fuckers and don’t let ’em get away with a thing. Democracy will out. おやすみなさい。

    • vivian

      じゃまた、おやすみなさい。

  • Nounverb911
    • SeeTrain65

      If huge amounts of cash were involved, they’d love being ripped to shreds by Hugh Jackman’s adamantium claws from “Logan.”

  • laughingnome

    Apparently the GOP congressman questioning Comey and Rogers are more interested in protecting the Republican party than the country.

    • Nounverb911

      Imagine my surprise!

    • The Wanderer

      Quelle surprise!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Sacre Bleu!

        • FlownΩver

          La plume de ma tante!

    • vivian

      I am shocked! Shocked I tell you!

    • Alan

      You don’t say.

    • This comes in handy far more often than I’d like…

      http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Fry-Im-Shocked-Futurama.gif

      • That there was gambling going on at Rick’s casino!

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      And CNN is hinting at it.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      How can that be?

    • SeeTrain65

      (snark on, button ripped off)

      “Yeah, and next you’ll say this whole Russia investigation is just one big Republican sham.”

      (button found, glued back on, snark off)

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Geez, wait till you turn the snark button on!…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They’re getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party.
      — Molly Ivins

      FOLLOW THE MONEY.

      • Greyhame

        It’s like regulatory capture, only on larger scale.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          They are trying to protect their jobs. If the party is complicit in the Russian connections, they’ll be voted out. Can’t have that …

    • ariel_gee_398

      But by focusing on the leaks of information (and accusing the CIA and FBI of being behind the leaks), they are assuming that Flynn really did everything he was accused of doing. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/268c5509cb41f50c28bae67c426bc15abf87f8526709a2352f69ea1b7bf4faeb.jpg

    • Iron Monkey

      Not surprising.

    • TakingAmes

      I am SHOCKED! Shocked to find out there’s gambling going on in this establishment!

  • Nounverb911

    In truly OT news
    The last of a generation….
    https://twitter.com/business/status/843857255636320256

    • The Wanderer

      Did he die while getting a hummer?

      • Nounverb911

        No, David had some class as opposed to Nelson.

        • The Wanderer

          Too bad. He could have gone with a smile.
          And upvotes for recalling what happened to Nelson.

          • Nounverb911

            And Megan Marshak too, also.

        • I will admit that Nelson did manage to come and go at the same time…

        • Alan

          Still a rent seeking leech even if a polite and generous one.

      • laughingnome

        Yeah, it’s how all the rich guys go.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Okay, but did he take his toys with him? I think not…..

  • SeeTrain65

    I watched basketball all week. I saw enough clop-swishing to last me a lifetime.

  • Nounverb911

    Also Jimmy Breslin died:

    With prose that was savagely funny, deceptively simple and poorly imitated, Mr. Breslin created his own distinct rhythm in the hurly-burly music of newspapers. Here, for example, is how he described Clifton Pollard, the man who dug President John F. Kennedy’s grave, in a celebrated column from 1963 that sent legions of journalists to find their “gravedigger”:

    “Pollard is forty-two. He is a slim man with a mustache who was born in Pittsburgh and served as a private in the 352nd Engineers battalion in Burma in World War II. He is an equipment operator, grade 10, which means he gets $3.01 an hour. One of the last to serve John Fitzgerald Kennedy, who was the thirty-fifth President of this country, was a working man who earns $3.01 an hour and said it was an honor to dig the grave.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/19/business/media/jimmy-breslin-dead-ny-columnist-author.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

    • Nick Scroggs

      Weird, I thought he died back in the 90s.

  • Lizzietish81
  • Nounverb911

    The official Chucklehead in Chief comments now….

    https://twitter.com/POTUS/status/843863057516380161

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Comey is covering his ass because he knows he will face jail time if he this up. Take the 5th!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      So that means that FauxTUS 45* admits that he knows that Flynn made calls to Russia?

  • stankbait

    I’ve been a party to the nut cuttings in rural America. Unfortunately mere seconds after they are neutered you will find the same pig feeding at the trough. Rendering an animal incapable of reproduction does little to change the behavior of the pig. Real change in the animal’s nature comes from ringing the pig’s nose. It is a constant reminder to the pig who the boss is, and that rooting will not be tolerated.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Although, prior to and during, they scream to high heaven….

      • stankbait

        And they have no say so about vaccinations and ear tagging or clipping for identification purposes. They get their shot and ID’d before they get turned loose.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Having raised them, fed them, observed them and butchered them, I’m a little leery about pig’s rights….

  • Nounverb911
    • TakingAmes

      So is it a faux pas for a Trump man to wear a damn wedding band? They’re not British royalty, fer fucks’ sake.

      • Cubanz

        it was probably made of gold so he ate it.

    • Foocatchoo

      So which hands are HIS? IF those are hers, the Trumps sure have a thing for manly looking ladies; MAN-lania,, etc.

  • Tomatoes! Throw the tomatoes!

  • Iron Monkey

    Oh, keep talking like that, champ. It’s going to make 2018 even more F-U-N.

    The only thing that is going to make 2018 F-U-N is organizing (beginning a couple of months ago and continuing to November 6, 2018) to get Democrats elected in marginal districts/states. McConnell is in until 2020, Paul until 2022. Barr got 61% of the vote in 2016.

    Events to trash Repub jerks are important but you got to turn the enthusiasm into getting some of them out and Democrats in. I am less a fan of the Democratic party than I have been for a long time but they are what we got to break the enemy hold on power.

    • Protests are all fine and good, but unless it means turnout at the voting booth, they’re just noise. One point I’d like to get through to the “purity faction” is that in a large percentage of this country, “super liberal” means “losing.” Seriously, the candidate who would set hearts afire in San Francisco will go over like a lead balloon in upstate NY. Maybe, years from now, that could change, but for now “liberal enough to win” is a good thing. No, pure liberals generally… lose. That’s because the self-proclaimed “base of the party” never shows up to vote in the first place.

    • Cubanz

      first thing first in my book, and I doubt anything will change by 2018, is undoing repuke gerrymandering. and I have never trusted electronic voting, yet it goes on unquestioned to do this day. maybe there’s a reason repukes can piss off everyone and still feel comfortable?

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    I want my dang Soros check, and I want it now. Especially with Paul Ryan and the boys about to dismantle just about everything, including the pittance that supports me in my old age, because somewhere out there, there’s a billionaire crying for more.

    But even if Soros screws me over as if he was Donald of Orange himself in person and I was a freelance contractor, and even if I never get my Soros check, I’m still coming for the dark money Republicans next election.

    They should try to understand that for tens of millions of us, hating them is a labor of love.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Hey, Joni made the Washington Post! Any publicity is good publicity, right Joni?

  • calliecallie

    If these investigations into Trump & Russia continue throughout the summer, I’m going to have to retire or take a sabbatical or something. How can anyone not sit raptly in front of the teevee set for this stuff?

    • boredcatlady

      I was a latchkey elementary school kid who was really pissed when a whole summer’s worth of teevee was ruined by the Iran-Contra Hearings

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        So, you were too wee for the Watergate series?…

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          I was a tadpole during the Watergate hearings, and remember watching the hearings after school, and going over the day’s events at dinner with my parents.

          • Usedtobeyellerdawg

            I was in fifth grade. We were encouraged, as part of a lesson, to write a letter to the White House. I did, and received a very nice letter in return from then President Nixon. I still have it. I’m sure it was a form letter, signed by auto-pen, but I have not received even that for the many post cards I have sent to the current occupant. Maybe I shouldn’t use the term ‘shitgibbon’ so much.

        • boredcatlady

          Family lore has Nixon resigning on my due date, but I’ve never actually fact-checked that

      • JackieHarkness

        Aw man, Iran-Contra is where I developed my love for yelling at politicians on the tee-vee..

        • boredcatlady

          You know, it never occurred to me, but perhaps that’s where I got it too!

  • JohnBull

    Just wait until these farmers see the planned 20% cut in the Department of Agriculture.

    • yyyaz

      It’s more economical to eliminate the department and just shovel cash directly from the Treasury to the billionaires of AgriBiz.

      • wavicles

        They use pallets.

  • MynameisBlarney

    This just in from the WH, folks!
    It’s offishal!
    “No evidence of Turmp/Rooosha connection(s)!”

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141733241

    Oh….right…
    Move along folks.
    Nothing to see here.

    • Meccalopolis

      times subheading to the comey story: “the president doth protest”

  • srfrantz
  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Needs moar breadbags.

  • Jonny On Maui

    a turtle-headed dildo-munch

    Turtle head libelz!1!!

    And we should know…

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Not to mention the insult to dildos.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    ““These are purely partisan individuals who are clearly bitter about election losses,” he said.”

    So, it’s not that their opinions are listened to and then dismissed. They are ignored all together. Who’s being partisan again?

    • Hardly Ideal

      Even worse than when Marie Antoinette said “Let them eat meth!”

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        “Snort”. You insufflate meth. It burns like a motherfucker but it tastes even worse. So I’ve been told.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Said by people who still haven’t gotten over losing the Civil War BTW

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    ““They’re representing fringe minority opinions of policy issues.””

    Fucking minorities. It will never end with those people.

  • Edith Prickly

    “Turtle-Headed Dildo Munch” is my new band name.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This is my take away for this morning. Flynn is under investigation. The IC knew he was fucking like a whore for the Russians and they want him busted. The Trumpenistas know that Flynn is under investigation. Flynn is going to get tossed to the shark filled pool to take the blame as a necessary purge to deflect attention. The Dems will be powerless to do more beyond that even though it’s clear Flynn was not a lone wolf actor after he joined the campaign.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    And now we now know that Comey hates the NE Patriots. Based on that I forgive him for fucking over Hillary.

    • Ill-Advised

      No. Not even hating the alleged self-styled ball-inflating “Patriots” buys Comey bupkis. Making the U.S. the laughing stock of the world is beyond the fucking pale.

    • starfanglednut

      Somehow, that’s not enough.

  • willi0000000

    it’s good people are thinking 2018 instead of 2020 now . . . and if we can get them to vote in down-ticket races we might be able to take back enough state legislatures to bust some gerrymandering.

    time to start grooming candidates for school board, town council, mayor and the state lege!

    • Thorn Spike

      One of Barry Bamz’s after-school projects is gerrymander-busting–with Eric Holder!–so things could look very promising in the next couple of years.

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/10/17/obamas-post-presidency-political-focus-redistricting/?utm_term=.0643e83bc44d

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      More importantly, time to start getting those asshole millenials to the fucking polls to actually vote. 11% turnout here in L.A. for the local election, which included two candidates funded by Betsy-deVos-supporting billionaires trying to infiltrate the LAUSD board, sending out millions of dollars worth of hate flyers lying and smearing the genuinely good teacher candidate. One of them now is in a run off with the teacher. ELEVEN FUCKING PERCENT.

      • willi0000000

        probably the only good thing to come out of the whole t’Rump fiasco will, i hope, be better attendance at the polls . . . for every elecion.

        gerrymandering is based on likely voter turnout and can be beaten with a huge GOTV effort.

  • Panika MCD

    Related Topic: TX SB 3

    tomorrow will be just another installment of “shit what won’t pass that Panika has to listen to”. this one would create Educational Savings Accounts so all the rich boys and girls can go to privates schools and their parents get a nice tax deduction while they’re at it and they can sleep well at night knowing none of their state property taxes will go to the eewwwww poors kids, but they’ll buy a lottery ticket every once in a while to make up for it.

    it won’t become law becaude the TX House says it won’t. more specifically, should the Senate send it anyway (with booze and a hooker as per protocol) the TX House will fart in the TX Senate’s general direction.

    what will be fun at the hearing is the Dallas Pastors PUBLIC SCHOOLS R AWESOME!!! Cheerleading Team beating the committee members up *with their words* (and maybe their prayers also too). should be entertaining. starts at 9 am CDT. I love it when the clergy are on our side!

  • Ωbjectifier

    I’ve submitted my time sheets and expense report but still haven’t got my check. Those Soro’s people really need to look into their A/P procedures.

    • You probably just forgot to fill in some time somewhere, that’s what happened to me.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Partisan hacks calling their constituents partisan hacks isn’t conducive to well-reasoned civil discourse. Or, you know, reelection.

  • Manhattan123

    When is someone going to cut Trump’s nuts off? Not with votes, with a rusty butter knife. He’s a sexual predator. He should be castrated.

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