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Hello Wonkers! I was just a-Googlin’ myself earlier, for reasons, when I noticed that on the very first page of my Google results was an entry in the RETURN OF KINGS Wiki. What an honor! It is almost as exciting as the time that none other than Alex Jones called Wonkette FAKE NEWS. Almost!

This was, naturally, very exciting for me as I have long mourned the loss of my actual Wikipedia page. Not so much because I am vain or anything like that, but because I just really liked the one part that said:

“Pennacchia’s op-eds have made her the subject of some aggression amongst her detractors, in particular her articles “On sexism, sexual assault, and the threat of the non-bro” and “Elliot Rodger is the product of a society that teaches that women are evil and men are entitled” brought accusations of misandry (Citations Needed).”

Mostly because I would very much like for “Accusations of Misandry (Citations Needed)” to be the name of the pulp fiction novel based upon my life.

The Return of Kings wiki, of course, is your online resource for online misogyny and Red Pill weirdness completely detached from all reality as the rest of us know it. For instance, their entry for the country of Australia notes in the first paragraph that the country “is known for having highly masculinised women, possibly as a result of its origins as a dumping ground for the dregs of British society.”

My own entry, though short, I think really sums up my entire career as well as possible:

Robyn Pennacchia is a Wonkette typist who has written numerous anti-Roosh V and anti-Donald Trump articles for the site. Roosh quipped on Twitter that he wouldn’t bang Pennacchia due to her having a “clown face”, describing her article “Bonus To Hating Trump: Gross MRA Dude Roosh V Won’t Want To Bang You” as “childish”.

Admittedly, I am pretty certain my entry only exists specifically to reference that sick burn doled out by Roosh V, a man who literally lives in his mom’s basement and spends his days writing all about how he’d have a much easier time finding a wife if they would just stop educating women, in order to demonstrate how incredibly clever he is. Because, woah, I know I cried myself to sleep after seeing that. Cried and cried and cried and reconsidered my whole entire face! How clown-like is it? Should I join a circus? Is it an Emmett Kelly kind of situation happening on there or is it more of a full-on Pagliacci thing? Rebecca assures me that I do not have a clown-face, and instead have a Linda Ronstadt-face, but who even knows anymore?

Although I do find it odd that when calling me a clown-face-would-not-bang, Roosh took the time to make a photo of me black and white. I mean, I was wearing red lipstick in that picture — wouldn’t that be more clown-like? Then again, I am not a clown-face-would-not-bang expert.

I did, however, have the honor of being one of only 16 anti-Trump reporters in RoK existence. Along with Don Lemon and Ben Shapiro, and even the noted “List of Reporters Who Have Displayed Anti-Trump Bias” (a list which includes only Megyn Kelly). “List of Reporters Who Have Displayed Anti-Trump Bias,” which, again, comprises only Megyn Kelly, was sorted under “L.”

However! Since I posted my discovery on social media, my entry has been changed to my current Wonkette bio instead of the sick burn Roosh laid upon me one time.

Because guess what? Anyone can edit the Return of Kings Wiki. Even you! Not that I am suggesting anyone go over there and change the definition of Red Pill to suggest that it is the delusion that everyone in the world is conspiring to do cultural marxism to you and deny you the subservient wife of your dreams or anything like that. Just noting a thing that happens to be true.

[Return of Kings Wiki]

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  • memzilla Ω
    • Jamoche

      Nobody will ever go “oh, the humanity!” when Bannon crashes and burns, but someone might say “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

      • pussygrabber in chief

        ALL THE UPFISTS!

      • coozledad

        Looks like Bannon fell directly into an outdoor fryer.

        • data_ninja

          What’s funny is that’s the photo from the Onion, with the mouse ‘shopped in the cheek. I truly hope more people use that as his official pic.

      • Begin Anew Day

        They might cry out “oh, the HAManity”.

      • TJ Barke

        kind of. They fly up into trees at night and to escape predators, and they can glide.

      • redblack

        so who is les nessman in your analogy, do ya think? and, umm, are we, the people, like the unwitting denizens of downtown cincinnati?

        maybe i’m reading too much into it.

      • TheBoatDude

        Art Carlsen? Is that you?

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      I assume that lump on his cheek is a pustule of concentrated evil bubbling up to the surface.

    • hendenburg2

      … are you trying to tell me something?

    • DahBoner

      Good news!

      Bad looking skin can indicate internal disease. 😀
      https://www.aad.org/media/news-releases/skin-can-show-first-signs-of-some-internal-diseases

      • Jukesgrrl

        The redness of his face is not common rosacea. It’s caused by blood vessels that have expanded in his face so often that many of them have broken. His bulbous nose, is similarly caused by sweat glands of the face also expanding from over-consumption of alcohol, which becomes permanent over time. salivary glands are also effected. Saliva gets stickier from alcohol, which blocks salivary ducts and causes the face’s parotid glands to swell, making the entire face look puffy. If his eyes appear yellowish, that’s from jaundice, common in alcoholics, a side effect of fatty liver disease. The face isn’t the only thing to swell. The stomach also distends, another thing noticeable in Bannon. He might also have Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, found in people in the end-stages of alcoholism. It’s commonly known as “wet brain” and is caused by vitamin deficiencies.

        • Tiny kaiju

          Trump is the fabulist but I think that’s just his sales personality coupled with his narcissism. Bannon looks like a mean drunk but the brain damage hasn’t quite manifested yet. If we’re lucky he’ll skip straight to hepatic encephalopathy and a coma.

        • TheBoatDude

          Stop getting my hopes up…

      • NotReallyHere

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb8bf38bb7a5299174edccfabc0eace552ac62f465aebde6864e1de53a51efbb.jpg Uh oh, I think Spicer might have ovarian cancer.

        Dermatomyositis is an inflammatory muscle disease with notable skin changes and is associated, in up to 20 percent of cases, with a wide variety of internal cancers (ovarian cancer being the most common in women). Signs on the skin include a violet-colored rash on the upper eyelids and in areas that are exposed to sunlight – See more at: https://www.aad.org/media/news-releases/skin-can-show-first-signs-of-some-internal-diseases#sthash.9rjQtwts.dpuf

    • kindness

      Stole and posted to FB but I did attribute it to Wonkette. Sorry, if you want all the glory I will change that post to you.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      ^^^ For the win.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Main takeaway: Roosh V does not know what a clown actually looks like. Which is weird, given the company he keeps.

    • Edith Prickly

      Perhaps he doesn’t own a mirror.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    “Anyone can edit the Return of Kings Wiki.” With a link to said Wiki. MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Welp, I guess I have a reason to go to ROK website. To monitor whether or not anybody does any snarky edits, of course. Because I would never do such a thing!

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    What a moran!!! Robyn, you are a lovely lady! Rebecca is right, very Linda Ronstadt-like. Roosh is just mad you won’t get your cute (not clown-like at all) face anywhere near his junk!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      “Clown face? Okay! Where do I sign up to join the circus?”

  • Me not sure

    Bless his heart.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Can we edit ROK wiki to call it a nesting ground of deeply closeted misogynists who worship Roosh V’s dangleberries?

    • Seek

      There’s only one way to find out! Let me know how it works out.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Roosh doesn’t want to bang Robyn? Golly gee, I bet she’s just crying her eyes out.

  • chaircrusher

    The technical term for your physical appearance is “Totes Adorbz” I have scientific proof.

  • pussygrabber in chief

    Those RoK guys sure are a bunch of delicate snowflakes, aren’t they?

  • anon_the_great

    Please excuse my cis priv shit but Robyn is effin’ hot. Roosh must be a homo.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Sorry, we won’t take him. Yucca Mountain might, though.

      • Longstreet63

        NIMBY!

    • marxalot

      Petualant crybaby throwing insults like a cranky 2nd grader. Don’t dump him on us.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Seriously. That’s a hard pass for me, and my recruitment numbers are way down this quarter.

        • marxalot

          Don’t feel bad. You can really only use so many toasters.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            But this quarter, it’s a fondue set…

          • marxalot

            I was holding out for the slow cooker, but… you have to meet this girl.

        • Crystalclear12

          Remember quality not quantity.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            It’s exactly that mentality that’s had us fruitlessly working on Ben Cohen for years.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            mmmmm

          • dlemex

            But both when you can get them!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She is not only good looking, she’s dynamite thinking, too, which just ups the attractiveness by orders of magnitude.

    • dlemex

      Don’t put him in our camp. You keep him.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Well, you’re a treasure to me…

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’m not seeing the clown thing.

  • Roosh V – a man who looks like a dried-up used tampon

    • marxalot

      Objection- such an object would have been where Roosh will never go (by invitation, anyway).

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Please hold for the General Counsel of Kotex Corporation…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      OK, he’s ugly dude, but w’re not supposed to make fun of those less gifted than ourselves.

      What we should be making fun of is what kinda idiot picks a nickname that rhymes with ‘douche?’

      • willi0000000

        well . . . he knows he’s some kind of ‘bagger.

  • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

    Bless their poor little creepy MRA hearts.

  • marxalot

    On my way to work this morning I spied a funfair settling up in one of our many fine oversized parking lots.
    Guess who just changed their weekend plans to “funnel cake and motion sickness.”

    • thewalkindude

      Sean Spicer?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I hear Roosh doesn’t like to be reminded that he’s a rapist scumbag….

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Thought that was a badge of honor for him?

  • I guess it’s not just Hawaii any more, Toto
    https://twitter.com/SafetyPinDaily/status/842792139172036608

    • willi0000000

      grab your big box of Crayolas® . . . find Fucking Shocked . . . color me.

  • Crystalclear12

    I knew Robyn before she was famous and not clown-like.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    If I didn’t already have a username that doubles as my well-established international brand for premium products like casinos, hotels, golf courses, ties, steaks, and vodka, I would change it to Wonkette Typist.

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      I tried a Gayer Than Thou steak. It wasn’t as fabulous as I’d been promised. Sad!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        We got complaints about the glitter. Apparently people don’t want glitter in their steaks.

        • Sardonicuss

          …but they are fine wil gold leaf in their beverages so they can poop gold?!
          Philistines.

        • CeeQ

          But are the steaks well done? I’d put up with the glitter if they were always cooked WELL DONE. #classy.

          • JCfromNC

            Besides, you’ll never notice it under the ketchup, right?

      • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

        Not enough glitter and sparkles?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Next time, try the tube steak. We get compliments all the time.

      • Martini Ambassador

        But have you flown GTT Air? The in-flight massages are to due for. And they have a pretty generous baggage allowance, too.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          It’s all baggage.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          For irony’s sake, the flight attendants are all straight.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In China, that includes spas, massage parlors, and escort services!

  • Sardonicuss

    I can tell just by your picture that you would kick his low-t, scraggly bearded ass.
    …because of your cuteness of course.

  • sw19bunnies
    • Begin Anew Day

      Clowns are sensitive.

      Who knew!

  • Shibusa

    https://i.imgflip.com/1bq9p5.jpg
    Original clown-face-would-not-bang.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Might, however, bang-bang. With votes.

    • marxalot

      Oh good. I like to know what my nightmares will be ahead of time, so I can drink that extra coffee that staves them off.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “is known for having highly masculinised women, possibly as a result of
    its origins as a dumping ground for the dregs of British society.”

    Um, pot, meet kettle.

    Shit, these guys (and they are guys, all of them) are so fucking ignorant about just about everything under the sun. Australia didn’t become a “dumping ground for the dregs of British society” until the Treaty of Paris in 1783 denied them their previous dumping ground.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      If these are the dregs of British society (or their descendants), sign me up.

      https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1b/93/8d/1b938dbbb612f4bbad48feb1c3435588.gif

      • marxalot

        I need to start doing Aussie-rules-football workouts

        • Amy!

          “No knives”?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Strewth, mate!

        I had to type that URL in manually on my phone. WORTH IT.

      • hendenburg2

        The funny part was that it wasn’t the big-time crooks who were sent to Australia. Mainly petty thieves and white-collar guys.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Cheeky blokes are cheeky!

  • John

    Truth be told, as a gay man, I don’t want to bag you either. BTW, I also don’t want to bang Roosh V (if that his is real name). So, i’m guessing he’s not getting any from anyone.

    • hendenburg2

      Not true at all!

      Palmela Handerson loves him!

      • Longstreet63

        Like her namesake, she, too, has Hep C.

      • yyyaz

        Rosita Palmiero, not so much.

    • Daryush Valizadeh

    • JMP

      Not consensually, anyway; the creep writes a series of “bang” books that are sad to be advice on how to get laid in various countries (for straight men only of course), but most really seems geared towards getting away with rape.

  • JMP

    When googling myself, I find that apparently I was killed by police at 21, am a professional photographer, was a college football player, was arrested for heroin dealing, was college lacrosse player, I’m a small child mentioned in an incredibly treacly story from one of those horrid Chicken Soup for the Soul books, am a different college football player, and in at least 10 pages only the facebook page featuring everyone with my name actually has anything about me. I guess getting the real you on google means you’ve made it?

    • TJ Barke

      Damn. You do a lot of living.

      • JMP

        The weird thing is, I’ve never met anyone with my last name I wasn’t related to; but apparently it’s common in the South.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Among my many occupations are a professorship in English literature, playwright, a well-known webcomic, and my favorite: winemaker in New Zealand.

  • Longstreet63

    Welp, now I have a clown fetish.
    Thanks for that.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    MRA baby won’t have sex with you?! Oh, how will you ever bear the shame?

  • TJ Barke

    Nazi collaborators will face justice.

  • Thiazin Red

    Is that Ruby Woo from MAC?

    You forgot the “best” thing about Roosh, he really resents having to do basic hygiene like wipe his ass because women are such huge bitches that we don’t want to bang dudes with shit in their asses.

    • Raan

      Sounds like someone never grew out of having mommy do everything for him, like a fucking infant.

    • Robyn Pennacchia

      It’s Cruella from NARS. I can’t really do Ruby Woo — too orange for me. My preferred Mac red is Russian Red. Oooh! Which may be the only thing I have in common with Trump!

      (and yes, I am aware both of my responses to things on this article have been about my lipstick. But Cruella is totally the best red and I am an evangelist for it. Second choice Russian Red, Third — a dark horse — Tarte Lip Sculptor in Harlequin)

  • mistermix

    Yep, it is editable. They must have a low-T beta running that site.

  • cmd resistor

    So, the DOJ turned over some papers to the Intelligence committee(s) today about the wiretap claims. The Committees might do a press statement after they finish reading.
    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/us-justice-department-delivers-documents-on-wiretap-claim-to-congress/ar-BByhXAR?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp

    • hendenburg2

      weird, it didn’t mention anything about Mike Flynn showing up in the recorded conversations with the Russian Embassy. I thought that’s what the request was for specifically.

  • Panika MCD

    POLL (without peeking)

    what RoK winkie article would you like to go change right now?

    • hendenburg2

      Trick question. None, because doing so would involve going to that site

    • OrG

      AoT,K?

      • Panika MCD

        that would take too much time and more patience than the Invisible Pink Unicorn gifted the world with.

    • Raan

      Change the picture on Roosh’s article to be dickbutt.

      • Panika MCD

        DO IT!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I see “ROK” and my first thought is “Republic of Korea”.

      But that’s just me.

      • Panika MCD

        well, only one has ballistic missiles know as “taepodongs”.

  • JMP

    Should those who know how to edit things change the Red Pill definition to point out that the metaphor was stolen from a movie written and directed by two trans women, and so stealing it to try and support misogyny is ridiculously ironic and stupid?

    • TJ Barke

      I thought it was just one of them…

      • hendenburg2

        Nope. Both.

        • TJ Barke

          Really?

      • JMP

        Both, though Lana came out a long time ago, while Lilly only about a year ago.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          If they choose to proceed with any of the surgeries (I understand not all transfolk do)… will the surgeries be Neo-plasties?

    • hendenburg2

      And transphobia!

  • memzilla Ω

    Anyone can edit the Return of Kings Wiki.

    Normally, back in the day, I HATED weekend homework assignments. But in this case…

  • Sardonicuss

    Lets see, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix……what great movie will these douchnozzles coopt and ruin next?

    • hendenburg2

      Jupiter Ascending?

      • Crystalclear12

        Great movie?

        • Sardonicuss

          Thank you. My fingers froze in astonishment….

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Gamera vs Barugon?

      • Sardonicuss

        Maybe one of the Godzillas.
        Life was better when a man could don a rubber suit and tromp upon a city without being called our for being a thoughtless mysoganistic nuclear lizard.
        Converts to the movement will be referred to as “Burrs” in honer of Raymond Burr’s spliced in appearance in the original film.

        • Longstreet63

          I stand with you, The Big G, and of course, Rodan–the Joe Biden of Kaiju.

    • Alan

      What great movies?

      • Sardonicuss

        Those two. Right there.
        Words…what do they do?

        • Alan

          Matter of taste I suppose.

          • Sardonicuss

            Yes. Nobody thinks the LOT or The Matrix were great movies. I stand corrected.

          • Alan

            That’s a weird response. I think a lot of people think they’re great movies but I can’t sit through more than 5 minutes of sci-fi/fantasy. Matter of taste and I get the impression you like that kind of movie.

  • sw19bunnies

    Can’t sleep. Clowns will **** me. :<

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      When you’re walking in the park at night and you say to yourself, “Don’t think of the Murder Clowns” it’s already too late because you have just thought of the Murder Clowns.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    When I google myself, I find that I am a dead ska artist, and that I starred in Scrooged and am a stand up comedian. Also, I am an immigration lawyer, and a few other things. I used to be the morning business reporter on ESPN (yes they did a news report in the AM) and I can’t think of other stuff. Really I am a nobody but I am a Wonkette, so I am a somebody.

    It is St. Paddy’s day, where the Irish celebrate a English guy who drove the snakes out and brought them Catholicism and the Shamrock as a symbol of the Trinity not the 4 leaf clover. Green…… it isn’t easy being.

    • snigsy

      I find out that I’m a porn star and a dead art historian. Who knew?

      • Panika MCD

        links or it didn’t happen. survey posted above.

    • sw19bunnies

      I discover that I like to recycle and live in a burrow on Wimbledon Common.
      ( this works as both short-term bunny and long-standing womble)

    • hendenburg2

      See I get to be a rocket scientist when I google myself.

      One of my old coworkers wasn’t as lucky. When he googled his name, the number 2 result was the following URL: myspace dot com slash grannyhumper
      Also, the byline under the name on that myspace page was “I wanna fuck your face”.

    • Panika MCD
    • mancityRed6

      pro sportsball players, mostly. or a kid who got killed after his car hit something.
      also, St Pat was Welsh.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        And the Welsh were the real English driven to the hills by the invading Saxons. (and I make up other stuff, too)

        • mancityRed6

          you joke, but there actually was a Welsh Liberation Front (or something like that). All signs were in Welsh and English and they would go around painting out the English parts.
          And there were places on the isle of Anglesey where there would be dire consequences for speaking English.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      “It’s a good thing frogs can hop, otherwise I’d be gone with the Schwinn!”

  • Martini Ambassador

    I’ve been dipping into the world of bold red lipstick this season, but I must say, Robyn, you rock it.

    • Robyn Pennacchia

      NARS Cruella. It is my jam.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Also, Robyn, how’d you like Snoqualmie Falls? Did you join the queued-up throngs and hike up Mt Si when you were in the nabe? Come out a little further west and you can join us on our next jaunt up Mt Storm King.

        https://cdn.apstatic.com/photos/hike/85/63/7018563_smallMed_3155dd1465048794.jpg

        • Robyn Pennacchia

          TBH I was mostly there to go all “OOOOOOH! I am in Twin Peaks now! Twin Peaks!!!!!” and eat coffee and pie. I’m not really a hiker, although I *did* walk up a very steep hill during my time in Seattle.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Yeah, Mar-T diner. I’ve taken several trips there with out-of-towners who just had to see it, back when I was a proper Seattleite. Good fun. Also fun to visit Roslyn just up the road with the Northern Exposure fans.

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            For true, many a steep hill to climb in Seattle.

  • cheetojeebus

    If you go to that site will penis pump ads start appearing in the ad stream on your facebook?

  • Panika MCD

    SURVEY:

    google yourself and post the first search result.

    mine: http://www.literaryorphans.org/playdb/three-poems-panika-dillon/

    [EDIT:] if it’s someone’s social media account, go to the first result that doesn’t essentially doxx the person.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Meh…I got a facebook page of someone from CA.

      • Panika MCD

        go to the first one that wouldn’t be considered doxxing if you shared it.

    • Longstreet63

      Um. No, sorry.
      First reference is a child murderer.

      • Panika MCD

        that’s no fair. the person’s probably dead by now!

        • Longstreet63

          Nope. Just recently confessed.

    • yyyaz

      My name is so generic I’m illustrated under that entry in the Oxford.

      • yyyaz

        “RBC Wealth Management Financial Advisor. Wayzata, MN”

    • mancityRed6

      first entry is a wikipedia page:
      [redacted] “Homicide” [redacted] (born August 3, 1977) is an American professional basketball player. The 6’3″ point guard also holds a Jamaican passport and is known for his Mohawk hairstyle.

    • hendenburg2

      Professor of finance at a university in the UK

    • thewalkindude

      (Redacted) (born 14 March 19–) is an English professional football left back who plays for Brentford. He is a product of the club’s academy and was capped by the Republic of Ireland at U16 …

    • sw19bunnies

      First entry (and also the next five) is me. One of the drawbacks to having an unusual (real) name.

      • Panika MCD

        I used mine. it’s me.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Almost all of the results for my name are for a woman who was married to a member of a very famous rock band that you all know and her name and mine are spelled exactly the same (I don’t believe we are related), so on Google I am beautiful, rich and have had a really swinging time.

    • Persistent Demme

      I’m a nun!

      (And a doctor, nurse, 6th grade teacher, and social worker!)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      FFS. The entire first page is for dead men with my name. Ugh.

    • Alan

      Huh. I’m a big law firm.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Author of a Bible prophecy series that will motivate your people to urgency in ministry, evangelism and missions!

      AEIIII! ZOMG I need brain bleach, stat!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I looked up me as in my nym and it led back to Balloon Juice and Wonkette :D

      • Panika MCD

        balloon juice?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Another well known pet rescue and laugh at the proprietor’s various klutzy adventures blog. Also a recipe hub.

          • Panika MCD

            good to know.

    • Trip Space-Parasite

      My real name’s too unusual to get anything except boring me stuff (LinkedIn, etc), but my entry on RPGGeek shows up on the first page, so I’m happy.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      I made a Google alert on my name in Gmail, and regularly get news about sportsballers, middle-managers and dudes what died recently.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Nym: http://www.mx6.com/forums/lounge/274657-extremely-unfair-x-files-spoiler-alert.html That was on page TEN.
      RL: ain’t gonna link cuz reasons, but it was the fourth page and it links to WikiFur. And it’s the ONLY place I exist online. Hmm.

    • Amy!

      I’m an LPGA golfer, apparently (most of the first page) and also a famous lawyer whose obituary (died aged 91) appeared in the NYT (that’s like page three). I can find myself fairly easily, but I have to google in quotes: “myfullfirstname middleinitial lastname”.

  • tegrat

    reminds me of the joke about the severely depressed patient who goes to the therapist, therapist suggests wonderful clown show to cheer up, punch line “but doctor, I AM the clown!”

  • Crystalclear12

    So if you’re a typist what was Megyn Kelly? A vocalist?

    • mancityRed6

      a reader

      • Panika MCD

        I don’t think RoK approves of women reading.

        • mancityRed6

          pretty much anything that doesn’t involve a bed or a kitchen, which is really sad

          • I am good in both, but am better in the resistance!

          • Panika MCD

            well, and if we can read recipes, that’s just one more thing that they didn’t get to read to us in the most condescending way possible! NO FAIR!

        • Liberoid Ron

          I’m not sure they’re copacetic with their users knowing how to write, either.

          • Panika MCD

            they’re calling the imaginary women they’re going to tie up in the basement and “red pill” “users” now?

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Yeesh Robyn. Even a career in musical theater wouldn’t produce such bitchy reviews.

  • BrianW

    Robyn,
    I’m probably old enough to be your father, so I can’t say much without it sounding kind of creepy. I will say, though, that you are a beautiful young lady (and the Editirix is right, a young Linda Ronstadt vibe) and that is definitely NOT a clown face. Simple fact is, Roosh V wouldn’t “bang” you because you’re smarter than that AND not unconscious.

    • sw19bunnies

      “Stay conscious” is always good holistic advice. But especially, and literally, around scum like Doosh V.

      • BrianW

        Would like to give more than 1 upfist for that observation.

  • TJ Barke

    So, Robyn, you uh, doin’ anything later?

    • sw19bunnies

      Typing, obviously – silly rabbit.

    • whitroth

      I’d say that,… well, except I’m more interested in whether a) her mom is as pretty as her, and b) is her mom free…?

  • Longstreet63

    Also, is that your Secret Lair on the cliff behind you? I presume it is built on a volcano?

    • Like all quality lairs

      • Liberoid Ron

        What’s the point of having a lair if you don’t put sufficient thought and effort into it? A poor-quality lair is a sign of someone not really committed to the supervillian lifestyle.

    • sw19bunnies

      Looks like Snoqualmie Falls (of Twin Peaks fame) to me?

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Snoqualmie Falls Lodge. The volcano is nearby.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Big. Mean. Dangerous volcano.

        • TJ Barke

          Ever been to St. Helens? It’s grim out there.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            It’s amazing how quickly it’s recovered across most of the blast zone.

            Mountain top is still all broken, nothing like it was when it was nearly a perfect cone pre-blast.

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          Oh well, there’s nothing important in Orting…

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “Sumner…gateway to Orting!”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      It contains sharks with frickin’ vote beams on their foreheads…

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, well, those bears with chainsaws better be riding ’em for all the good money I spent

  • george gonzalez

    Let me just provide some consolation, in that if it wasn’t for my wife, my age, morality, and other impediments, you would definitely make my list. Not that I have a list.

    • maxneanderthal

      Ditto x 10

    • Alan

      If I had a dollar for every time I said “if it wasn’t for my wife….”

  • DahBoner

    Younger girls who are still riding the carousel would love to meet a clown who is unlike other clowns she has fucked.

    It’s always “Projection” with these guys…

    Always.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ef0421616e9159c1b288f1b63e2c05fb70013cd0cec8a72de32f6ed9ae1b0889.png

  • Martini Ambassador

    I have never googled myself, and I’m too old to start now, dammit.

  • maxneanderthal

    Like most (all?) sane and rational people, you are hardly “biased” against RumpT. That’s like saying Genghis Khan was “biased” against the Chinese empire…

  • Me not sure
  • Ωbjectifier

    I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.
    — Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • Bill Slider

    Typist? How conservative of you. I thought you were a Land of Lincoln Lawyer, assigned to keep Dominic from spending too many nights in the drunk tank, allegedly.

  • Sardonicuss

    Also too: Is that your house back there above the waterfall? ..and if so do you need a groundskeeper or professional hermit to live on the grounds?

    • Liberoid Ron

      An ornamental hermit, living in a purpose-built grotto, is the perfect finishing touch for any fine estate. I believe payment is traditionally three silver pennies per year and a butt of sack. Or a sack of butt. One or the other.

      • Sardonicuss

        Wealthy brits, in the 1800’s, actually used to pay hermits to live on their estates as entertainment for guest at various soirees and such.
        My dream job….

  • Panika MCD

    for all the guys being all “there, there, Robyn! you don’t look like a clown!”:

    it’s not creepy that you find her attractive. it’s annoying that you read the article and didn’t notice that she was being snarky when she was talking about the description since she knows she doesn’t look like a clown.

    • TJ Barke

      Give us a break, we’re not that smart.

    • Longstreet63

      Yes, of course. Forgive us. We are quite unused to the presence of snark in news articles.

      • Panika MCD

        well, why the, “there, there. you’re a pretty girl!”

        • Longstreet63

          It is possible that some kind of humorous misdirection was involved. I speak only for myself, of course.
          I have doubtless done poorly, as all know my comments are normally to be taken as deadly serious.

          I blame Society.

          • sw19bunnies

            Thanks Obama.

          • Longstreet63

            I stand corrected.

      • Panika MCD

        ???

    • Weevie

      Uh, yup. Pretty much everything she does here is big snark. The misogynist chiropractor who invented labia glue as a tampon replacement? That was fun!

      • Panika MCD

        that wasn’t my point.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Some of us are quite aware of that, TYVM. We know she knows, and I think she knows that we know that she knows. And we know that… wait, what were we talking about again?

      • Panika MCD

        the fact that every other comment is, “but Robyn: you’re a pretty girl!!!” it’s like the thread of a thousand cat calls.

  • OrG

    HAHA! These guys are STOOPID. **points and laughs**

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Robyn, you attract the most interesting…uh,…well not so much “people” as “strange sort of fungus trying to approximate human behavior”.

    • Trip Space-Parasite

      Fungus libelz!

  • Boscoe

    SHould edit the definition of “red pill” to be: “The thing you take after you’ve taken the blue pill but realized your hand is still tired.”

  • Alan

    I think she’s cute. Meh, what do I know?

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Wonkette typist? I thought my dues were going towards that new word processor machine.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I thought mine just ended up in their booze budget.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A Wonkabago mounted word processor machine!

  • Weevie

    Old Roosh must host that thing from his basement, it takes like a minute to load!

    Wow, latest forum activity, hold on these guys are brilliant!

    I have had FFM threesomes, never a FMF. To be specific, a FFM
    threesome is when the females interact but an FMF threesome is when the
    females don’t interact and are straight.<br… 2017-03-17 05:35:51

    • Longstreet63

      Well, proper terminology is important; otherwise how can you assert your dominance?

      • Weevie

        They should be thinking about inserting their dominance.
        They just don’t get it!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        You pee on them?

        • Longstreet63

          Well, I’m not judging…

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Neither am I….

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      FMF sounds really dull and exhausting too.

      • Longstreet63

        It is stressful, too.

    • Liberoid Ron

      ‘I have had FFM threesomes’ = ‘I was spying on these lesbian chicks in the apartment across the street.’

  • DainBramage

    Reporters who are not anti-Trump biased are anti-reality biased.

  • Longstreet63

    Could be worse. Could have called you a Mime.

  • CeeQ

    hahahahaha “over masculinized women”…..hahahaha whatever dickhead.
    That’s butt-hurt-ese for “none of these Aussie chicks want to talk to me. They keep calling me creepy and telling me to get lost already.”

    Robyn – I love that photo of you! Such a pretty face! (….then again, what would I know from pretty? I’m just some over masculine chick from Oz!)

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Mayhaps, a nice Aussie lady person threatened to wreck his shit if he tried any cute shit with her… and he just scampered away like the scrote-muffin he is.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’m trying to summon any interest in what MGTOWs and nincompoops of that ilk think about anything. . . . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a43fd55d7853c8fd6c520fd970f631514906861aac962dd223284c4472310cd1.jpg
    Nope. I got nothin’.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Hidden in the open non-comments by a rogue commentator (tater tot):

    I will donate more monez if there is a $42 category. I noticed you got close with $40. Just sayin’

    • Panika MCD

      can’t you just input your own amount?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        No. Best I can do is convert to other base so it comes out 42. like 42 base 12.

      • sw19bunnies

        Heyooo!!!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Roosh has no idea that he is his own worst enemy, PR wise.

    We’ll just leave it at that and let him continue on in his role as an internet wide laughing stock.

    • jowgajen

      OK, that was a fine strategy until we elected another internet wide laughing stock as President.

  • borninatrailer

    Roosh is wrong and Robyn is totally bang-able.

    OHGODWHATHAVEIWRITTEN

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Get in line you pig.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Well Since Robyn always brings a tingling sensation to this guy’s Netherlands, Let’s see what we can do. (With votes)

  • Lefty Frizzell

    It’s not bias if you review the evidence first

  • Raan

    9:30 AM (Pacific Time)
    motherfucking jesse eisenberg jesus christ fuck dude motherfucking facebook movie bullshit jesus can you fucking believe this shit

    I have no idea what we’re talking about right now.

    10:15 AM
    god damn created facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck i just watched this shit fuck jesse eisnberg man

    Arin, you’re scaring me.

    11:15 AM
    Motherfucking Spider-man Spider-man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg.
    i’m very tired

    No problem, man. I’ll…I’ll do most of the talking at the Grump session today.

    c. 11:15:15 AM
    No man I’ll just talk about the Facebook movie all day, shit you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie. Fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-Man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing. Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook

    1:15 PM
    MARK ZUCKERBERG

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      a last a long a riverrun….

    • Longstreet63

      Is that you, Sean Spicer?

    • Courser_Resistance

      WTF is this shit? km

    • Raan

      For anyone confused, it’s a text message exchange between Arin and Danny of the Game Grumps.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMRBYkg5jmg

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Misandry is convenient to cry about when you think that despite being abused and dehumanized by them in every horrific way imaginable, both personally and systematically, women are still supposed to prioritize men over themselves. That feels like hate when you belive you are superior to women.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Not to say that misandry doesn’t exist, just that this is not it.

      • Weevie

        Send them back to blue bayou.

        • yyyaz

          Come what, May?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It’s the “reverse racism” of gender.

        • Longstreet63

          When do we get “Men’s History Month”?

          • Weevie

            My first grade teacher was Miss Andrea.

          • sw19bunnies

            Right after ‘White People’s Economic Anxiety Week’.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I thought that was every month!!

    • sw19bunnies

      I’m an equal opportunities misanthrope.

  • Zombishroom

    Hey! That’s Snoqualmie Falls in the background!

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      I was gonna say: “It’s the pancake mix label place!”

    • DainBramage

      I drove out there last Christmas with my brother’s family. It was packed!

    • Raan

      I wonder if her room at the Great Northern was next to Agent Cooper’s?

  • Tim

    L, being smack between K and M in the Alphabet, is obviously is what you get when you average them. Prolly why they filed MK under L.
    That kind of next level shit only makes sense to Kings…

    • Weevie

      Kinda like 14 88.

  • TJ Barke

    Monarchy is an outmoded and generally tyrannical concept and the world will only be free when all crowns have been melted down.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      But not the clowns, right? We’re keeping the clowns? Cuz I’d rather have the crowns…

    • sw19bunnies

      People love their “royalty” tho (be it Kardashians or Trumps or Windsors) It’s all very vicarious.

      • TJ Barke

        Fuck that shit, strangle the last king with the guts of the last priest. With votes or whatever…

        • sw19bunnies

          ….and the new religion is money (much like the old religion)
          Don’t get me wrong, nice in theory…. and FSM knows that I do love things that are nice in theory.

          • TJ Barke

            Money has always been the religion.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Not money. Power. Money’s just one of the better routes to it.

      • Weevie

        Queen Kim. Hmm, nice ring to it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.” — attributed to Denis Diderot.

      • TJ Barke

        Ha! Beat you do it, look below.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          You sure did. It’s a wonderful quote, even if they can’t nail down precisely who said it when.

  • DainBramage

    My guess is that Roosh pinned the picture of Robyn to his lover’s face, which was really stupid as all the air leaked out of its inflatable body.

    • Raan

      I mean, Bud Bundy was no great ladies man, but at least he didn’t piss and moan about being discriminated against.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Robyn

    I think you’re cute as a button. But then, I’m an Italian grampa so I’m kinda biased toward a certain type.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Roosh?

    really?!?

    Roosh?

    • mancityRed6

      the funny thing is that hr tried so hard to court the alt right nazis, but they don’t want anything to do with him, since he’s not white.

      • Alan

        Green?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I once dated an Italian and that left me with a terrible Roosh.

    • DainBramage

      Combination of “woosh” and a fart sound?

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    In my day, you never spoke poorly of a lady with an Italian surname cuz you never knew what her Dad did for a living.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      And if he was in the Import-Export business or “Olive Oil Distribution”, you definitely didn’t speak poorly.

      • Also too, “waste management”

        • Ms.Moon

          Still is “construction,” is in there as well and “car parts.”

      • hendenburg2

        My favorite mob Italian-American Businessmen fact is that for a while, the biggest racket in NYC was controlling artichoke imports

      • Raan

        If he’s a union rep, watch your fuckin’ tongue.

  • Raan
  • KittyCastiel

    I’m going to have to.send extra monies to you guys now just because of the fun idea to play with the ROK wiki. Not that I got it from here…

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    May I say, with the utmost respect, that that my tastes and those of Mr Valizadeh are out of phase by 180 degrees?

    • yyyaz

      Ima gonna go with diametrically opposed.

  • Alan

    So the guy who has to have sex with inflatable girlfriends thinks a real woman is not “bangable”. Irony.

    • Panika MCD

      aren’t these guys not supposed to masturbate to preserve their “potency”?

      • Alan

        I have no idea and don’t want to know.

        • Liberoid Ron

          It’s best so. That way lies madness.

      • Weevie

        New law, $100 fine per pop!

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Such as it is.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      The one good thing about blow-up girlfriends is they always leave you breathless.

  • Nockular cavity

    Gross MRA Dude Roosh V Won’t Want To Bang You

    And his response to this is “would not bang, hur hur”??? He no get irony, right? Dude, don’t try to keep up with the big girls, you’ll hurt yourself.

  • Mpeg

    House of Mpeg has been without heat/ hot water for approx 24 hours, thanks to her letting the oil tank run dry.
    Thankfully, just shy of weekend closing hours, oil has been delivered and – – with night temps reaching 20s and teens lately – – I can now do a little jig and announce: “THE H is O!”
    http://www.avclub.com/article/time-ben-stiller-seduced-glenn-frey-vintage-snl-sh-230934
    Too bad they took down the video, it was a classic~

    • Panika MCD

      you’re in Squarebanks?

      • Alan

        You should have gone to the gas station.

      • sw19bunnies

        Douglas?

    • Unhappy Fingers

      If you were anywhere near me, I’d gladly give you the two 5 gallon Diesel fuel cans I have. (You do know that Diesel fuel is a cleaner burning, more consistent, and more taxed version of No. 2 fuel oil, the usual home grade, don’t you?) My subdivision finally was piped for natural gas two years ago. I converted, and don’t have to worry about running out of oil ever again. Wheeee.

      • Alan

        We just bought a new house and it actually has natural gas. Amazing stuff.

  • Liberoid Ron

    Dear Ms Pennacchia:

    Having perused various images of clowns over the years (it was a project, don’t judge) we believe we can definitively state FOR THE RECORD that, far from being ‘clown-like,’ your visage is in fact ‘cute as all get-out’ (a specialised term of art) and a statistical survey of old men sitting on a local park bench gave the following result:
    ‘Hey, sexy! (2)
    ‘What’s the matter with you, she’s too young for you.’ (1)
    ‘Can I keep that picture? (1)
    ‘Zzz’ (1)

    If we can be of any other use please feel free to contact our office.

    Signed
    Blank Ron

    • Mary Sandoras

      FTW!

  • Jack Tenhet

    Just have to add this quote;

    “Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s
    depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a
    threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor
    says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go
    and see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says,
    “But doctor…I am Pagliacci.”

    • hendenburg2

      Rohrshach is the ur-Red Pill’er

      • Jack Tenhet

        No shit! He’s a complete sociopath and a hypocrite. Sadly, there are people out there who think he’s supposed to be a hero instead of a severely damaged human being hiding behind a mask he calls his “face”.

        • sw19bunnies

          He’s anything but a hypocrite. Indeed, his strict adherence to his ideology is why he ends up the way he does.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Well, I see hypocrisy in the divide between his ideology and how he carries it out. He rails against murderers and the violent world while being a violent murderer himself.

          • marxalot

            Yeah, it’s one of those Sin Eater/The Operative (Serenity) situations. I’ve seen it handled really well (we work for a world which has no place for us), and really poorly. I’ll say that Rorschach is written really well, while being a fundamentally damaged individual who cannot fulfill the role.
            Also: fucking terrifying attitudes about women.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Yeah, terrifying attitudes about women and sexuality as a whole, but given that he is himself a very sexless character based on his upbringing does explain some of that.

            I love that you brought up Sin Eater, he was one of my favorite Spider-Man characters when I was still collecting comics like a mad child. I found him disturbing and interesting in the same way I found The Curse in Spawn interesting. Not as characters to emulate but as character studies in abject madness. The same can be applied to The Punisher: War Journal era, Marv and to some extent Wolverine in the 80’s. These grey area characters are always interesting to me. I wouldn’t really want to socialize with them if they existed, but their interesting in a fictional sense.

            One last thing about Rorschach, He was based pretty loosely on the DC Golden Age character The Question. If you’re interested, you might want to look up that character’s earlier stuff, if you haven’t already. You do seem to know you shit here, so you may have. I’d also recommend The Shadow, but only the pulp novels. They’re very dark and give a clearer picture of The Shadow and Lamont Cranston.

          • marxalot

            I like that they brought the Question back, and then did weird things with the character. And that now (former, presumed dead) Det Montoya is leaving the “ask the ?” tag all over town.

          • Liberoid Ron

            I don’t see that as hypocrisy. I see that as one of the many ways he evinces cognitive dissonance. It’s only towards the end of the story that he becomes aware of this – of all the characters, he’s the one who changes most.

          • Jack Tenhet

            You’re right about that. Dr. Manhattan still deserts mankind and leaves to become a god. Ozymiandas (Lex Luthor if we’re being honest) continues being a dictator. Night Owl goes back into retirement, which was where he started.

            I had to revisit the comics to get where you were coming from and I completely see it. In the end, he’s willing to die to get the truth out, no matter what the consequence. The unvarnished truth, not just his personal spin. He starts to see things as bigger than himself or the “cockroaches” he sees infesting the streets. He does seem to see the world as a whole which is a far cry from where he started.

        • marxalot

          The line when he talks about making his mask…
          Shudder
          That right there should tell you that even when a sicko bastard isn’t wrong, he’s still a sicko bastard.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Though now and again I REALLY understand his, ‘ So I made a face I could bear to look at in the mirror.’

    • Weevie

      Ka thunk!

    • data_ninja
  • data_ninja

    Good news: Looks like the FBI caught one of those shit heads that sent a seizure-inducing strobe tweet to Kurt Eichenwald.

    • sw19bunnies
      • You back in Canuckistan now?

        • sw19bunnies

          Been here for over a month now. Still a couple of weeks until I have to go back to my day job.

          • I am at my day job right now. You should stay. We’re saner (unless you’re hanging in Alberta) that most other places

          • sw19bunnies

            It’s my long-term plan for sure, but business is business
            (NB I stay in BC, apart from the occasional road trip, so all chill and green and cuddly out here)

          • Ontario remains high strung

          • Liberoid Ron

            I blame all the white people here.

    • Shoto

      After this incident occurred, Eichenwald said that he had reported it to all relevant authorities. Glad they managed to track down the psycho fuck. Who knows, maybe said authorities can lean on this asshole to track down other such psycho fucks.

      • data_ninja

        These shit stains are literally the reasons we can’t have nice things.

  • thewalkindude

    Donald Trump will name top White House adviser Kellyanne Conway’s husband, George, to lead the Justice Department’s civil division, the Wall Street Journal reports. In that capacity, if confirmed by the Senate, he’ll supervise the DOJ’s defense of the Trump administration’s ban on travel from several majority-Muslim countries—the second iteration of which was blocked by a judge in Hawaii this week.

    • hendenburg2

      He should just have George Conway roll a boulder uphill for the remainder of his term. It would be more humane (to everyone)

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Sisyphus libel.

    • mancityRed6

      who is going to watch their kids now?

      • The Onion has some concerns about her.

        WASHINGTON—Explaining that she always makes sure to leave enough time in her busy schedule to give them the proper attention, Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway told reporters Thursday, in what is her most disturbing public statement to date, that she has four young children.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      nepotism isn’t a crime as long as you keep it in the family.

      • Liberoid Ron

        <rimshot!>

    • Alan

      If he’s as stupid as his wife….

  • mancityRed6

    OT: I really hate brown carpet.
    I pretty much filled the new vacuum up on the living room, dining area (I guess), and bedroom. It really didn’t look that dirty. Although, now it’s fluffed up a bit more.
    Kitchen is clean, now I’m off to do the bathroom.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Brown carpet is camouflage for dog hair here. It buys me time in between vacuuming.

    • Alan

      I really hate carpet. Currently having marital argument #69397. Bought new house with beautiful oak floors and wife is shopping for rugs to cover them. Sigh.

      • mancityRed6

        we had a rug in the living room, several to be exact. and then the ex came home with a couple of runner rugs, and another to go in front of the sliding doors in the bedroom. I just could not see why.

        • Alan

          Hard floors are really easy to clean. Oh wait, since she doesn’t clean….

          • mancityRed6

            it meant the purchase of another vacuum and the constant moving of said rugs after to sweep.
            and of course the dogs just scrunched or chewed on them.

          • Alan

            Exactly. I have to move several hundred pounds of shit to clean. Frustrating.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I’ve seen that scenario over and over. People want lovely hardwoods and immediately begin to cover every square inch where people walk with large area rugs and runners. Always puzzled me??

        • Alan

          And a good quality hardwood floor is so easy to take care of. You really have to drop an anvil to damage it.

      • Unhappy Fingers

        So THAT’s why I”m still single. :)

        Seriously, for those of us that have serious dust mite shit sensitivities (like me), carpets are death unless it NEVER EVER gets humid. A few throw rugs, yes, especially if I can run them through a washer once in a while. If I had a live-in GF/wife that insisted on carpet, she’d be shown the door or told to get her own place.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Isn’t that the good thing about brown carpet?

      • mancityRed6

        it did give me 6 months to get a vacuum

      • Longstreet63

        But does it match the drapes?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I wish we had carpet today. Got the bottoms of my feet damp, hit the hardwood floor, went the fuck down, stubbed my big toe so hard pretty sure it’s sprained, and it hurts like fuck. Gotta get a rug!!!

      • mancityRed6

        I did that on stairs once, managed to break my fall with my elbow

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Elbow pain is the getting hit in the nose of the arms!!

          • mancityRed6

            socks on bare wood stairs. I hit the floor at the bottom and the bottom stair caught my elbow. pretty damn hard, too. but I was young and 27 so it wasn’t too bad.

      • data_ninja

        It’ll tie the room together, for sure.

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Ouch! I can sympathize.

        I banged my big toe really badly about a decade ago I thought I broke it, and now the nail is always split at tip and snags on socks and blankets.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Damn…it would have been better if that nail had fallen off and a new one grown. Foot issues are not cool and seem to last forever.

    • marxalot

      Oh god, I have to vacuum the apt soon. I haven’t done that… since I moved in. In January.
      The last time I spent all day vacuuming, though, the house burned down at the end of the week.
      Ehhh… maybe it can wait.

      • mancityRed6

        today was the first time since I moved in. In September.

        • marxalot

          I have a dog. Who sheds… constantly.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, two cats. I filled up the vacuum past the high limit

  • Bill D. Burger

    Talk about ugly and vile slugs wrestling. Kinda enjoyable seeing these two entities throw shit at each other.
    Roosh: “Why should I care about the white societies and the people in them?” He criticized the alt right and they struck back just as viciously. He closed his blog and began another.
    (Damn! And he’s a FUGLY bastard too.)

    https://manboobz.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/rooshmud.png?w=604

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let these dipshits fight among themselves. More popcorn for the rest of us.

    • hendenburg2

      Say what you want about “Fashy Frau”. At least (s)he’s not trying to hide being racist

    • Raan

      …I feel like I need a shower.

      Or alcohol.

      To bathe in.

      And drink.

      • marxalot

        Fill a bathtub with gin. Get some limes. Then do whatever feels natural.

    • Liberoid Ron

      ‘Wog’?
      What is it, 1910 again?

  • puredog

    Dir Robyn:
    If this whole thing has give you a sadz, be happy in the knowledge that I would bang you. (I mean, if you like them old and droopy.) But I just wanted you to know so that you were no longer ausgebesaddened.
    The Dog
    PS: Themz all libelz. You should call Charles Harder or Michael Cohen.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      This Sitzendeutscher (Fakengerman?) thing, I am liking it. We must use it to attack Roosh and all who share his Verdouchenheit, für gestompen mitvotes.

  • Panika MCD

    seriously, boys:

    Robyn wasn’t fishing for complements.

    • Duke

      Girlz, excluded?

    • Alan

      Yeah we know but it was too easy.

    • sw19bunnies

      I’m sure she wasn’t. But maybe this is just a masculine version of when female friends get together to boost someone’s self-confidence?

      That’s the way I read it, but happy to be told how wrong I am, and I know nothing :)

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Shall I get really mainsplaining? We like to think we are really supportive by calling her hot and stuff but we are actually being sexist for supporting her just because we think she is hot and therefore demeaning her actual plead. Yes we still have to fight the patriarchy.

        • sw19bunnies

          In my defence, and as an ace, I have never understood “hot” as in “sexy”.
          A bridge is pretty, Robyn is pretty, kawaii anime cats are pretty, my BJDs (male and female) are pretty.
          I do understand the concept of the “male gaze” and anything that alludes to it, even if men don’t mean to.
          Also, thus, women have a right to be sensitive to that sort of thing, but it’s as much in the delivery as anything else I suppose?
          HTC, peace out :)

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Except I doubt Robyn’s pulchritude is the only reason for our support. Odds are pretty good that our non-commenters also too think Roosh, and all who think like him, are douches who need to be resisted, no matter whom they’re talking about.

          • sw19bunnies

            As in, context is everything.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah of course I just wanted to see how my feminist friend’s response would land.

        • Lefty Frizzell

          I’m still not seeing the clown thing.

      • Panika MCD

        it comes off like this to me:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4sf1JVY24

    • Truck Fump

      If she were fishing for compliments, she wouldn’t get a bite.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      at least we try to use our testosterone to empower instead of going straight for grabbing her by the pussy.

    • data_ninja

      I read that somehow as “fisting for complements”. Different kind of handout I guess?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I get what you’re getting at here.

      • snark-lurker

        purdy sure i will get in trouble no matter wut cuz wimmenz confuze me ergo no comment

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Wimmenz are very confusing. Are we human beings? Are we something else? Are we pretty or do we have clown faces? What’s wrong with clowns? So many questions and no one knows the answers!

          • snark-lurker

            purdy sure wimmenz are human beans

          • Longstreet63

            Read that as “Human Bears”.
            Which could work, too, sometimes.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Beans are the musical fruit, after all!

          • sw19bunnies

            1. I agree.
            2. Biologically, yes.
            3. Positive mental attitude! You can be whatever you want!
            4. See 3.
            5. Where do I start…
            6. Multiple Choice?

          • snark-lurker

            now even moar confuzed

    • MynameisBlarney

      Of course not.

      But I wanted to compliment her anyway.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Me too. The team here needs more credit than they normally get. I mean, they have to deal with all the crazies and we’re the crazies here, so imagine the derp they have to wade through that we never see.

      • Panika MCD

        “and she can write, also too!” didn’t cross any boy’s mind?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yes. You’re absolutely right.

          It didn’t. And I feel kinda like a douchebag right now.
          But don’t forget…even the smart-ish guys that aren’t total dicks can still be struck dumb by beauty.

          We literally can not help it.

          Well, at least I can’t. I can’t speak for any other men really.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s good to hear.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Thanks. :D

            One thing I’ve learned as I become An Old, is that owning ones mistakes is better than doubling down.
            It’s simply healthier.

  • nightmoth

    Is a Mooslim terrorist beard mandatory with these guys?

    • yyyaz

      How else would anyone see at a glance how manly* they are.
      *larfed a little, OK a LOT, while typing that

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hooray me! I just got fired from my soul-crushing job. Thanks, trump.

    • Truck Fump
    • WomanInThePersistence

      Good thing? Bad thing?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I guess something in between.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I hated every minute.

    • snark-lurker

      say what?!

    • Picabo

      Quit before you are terminated. Looks better on a resume.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        Wish I had known that before I was fired from my soul-crushing job a year ago to this day, +/- one or two days.

      • marxalot

        But if you quit you can’t file for unemployment.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I hate to hear you were fired, but it sounds like an awful place and the one time I was fired, it led me to something waaaaaay better!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I already had an interview set up for Monday, so now I don’t have to take half a day off.

        • Liberoid Ron

          You’re pretty good at this ‘silver lining’ shit, man.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          You’re on to something better. You are!

    • You know, I read somewhere that Amalgamated Soulcrusher Corp. was losing all their best talent.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Congrats to your soul, condolences to your wallet.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Quipped?

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      I saw that too. Aren’t quips supposed to be funny?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And/or clever or witty or apposite. That’s like some kind of Algonquin round table-style evocative anti-quip. ‘”Die in a fucking fire” he cheerfully explicated in a series of lilting pig noises.’

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Search term “bang clowns”
    *unlocks memory vaults of his 20’s
    Yep, we ‘ve got some clowns in there.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      *Remembers to stay home this St. Patrick’s day.

  • TJ Barke

    Roosh V, another guy I need to introduce to my voteball bat.

  • MynameisBlarney

    A clownface?
    WTF?

    That stupid fucker is blind as fuck.

    Robyn, you’re friggin gawjus!

    • Jack Tenhet

      No kidding! Bright and beautiful. That’s what threatens these people so much. Robyn consistently mops the floor up with them and they can’t do a damned thing about it aside from retreating to their little mancave/he-man/safe spaces for another red pill fix to get them past the butthurt.

  • hendenburg2

    Okay, so quick poll: some guy I knew in college just posted some cellphone video of him shooting a shotgun with the caption “If a criminal attempts to burglarize me, he’d best think twice!”

    I haven’t talked to him in years, but I’m really tempted to comment with “What about when you aren’t home?”

    Yeah or Nay?

    • TJ Barke

      What is he? 7?

      • hendenburg2

        mentally? probably.

        • TJ Barke

          I mean, shotguns are pretty kickass, but FFS, how about some maturity?

      • sw19bunnies

        Since this thread is about looks, I refuse to score him until I’ve seen a photo.

      • Raan

        I’ll take the under on that.

    • suziq

      Yes of course you should!

    • Longstreet63

      Well, the would-be burglar is now confident that a shotgun is available for stealing, so there’s that!

    • Serai 1

      I would not get on his radar, but that’s just me.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      He is a waste of space, and communicating with him would be a waste of time.

      • FlownΩver

        Save the electrons!

    • Sardonicuss

      Youtube gun badasses are the best baddasses…because you know if they are that anxious to show off their guns, things will probably not end well for them later.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Yeah, defending that $599 flatscreen is sure worth $10k in manslaughter legal defense fees.

    • Raan

      doooooo eeeeettttt

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’d stick with a simple “LOLOK”.

      Or just ignore him.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Burglars love it when there’s a gun in the house. Guns are REALLY easy to fence, and the markdown is far less than on consumer electronics or jewelry.

      • hendenburg2

        Actually legos are the best thing to fence. Almost no markdowns whatsoever

    • snark-lurker

      for reelz a neighbor was burgled several times finally shot & killed a burglar and then went seriously mental with REMORSE! no charges ever filed so he wasn’t trying to get off the hook but he did end up in hosp. psych ward

  • PixieThis

    That guy is so funny! I mean, he can’t be serious because he looks like he’d plug any fuzzy knothole. And the sheep, that’s who I’d feel sorry for!

  • Sardonicuss

    What a rare perfect day..weather wise.
    69 degrees with light breeze. The bugs have not come out enough to wreak havoc yet..but the trees and grass are greening up.
    …..and my second purchase of box-o-wine. Heresy, I know on St. Pattys..but I drink beer every day so not special.
    As a not box-o-wine aficionado..what’s with the price difference? Is it alcohol content? Probably …

  • Jack Tenhet

    Just have to point out again that these MRA assholes can’t actually create anything themselves and have no real concept of the things they steal. I mean, ROTK? What the hell do they even know about the Ring trilogy? Let’s dissect it, shall we?

    1. Men actually didn’t do that much in the novels. Hobbits were not the race of man, nor were Elves, Dwarves, Sorcerors, etc. There was only ONE race of men and, well, man was responsible for the whole one ring mess in the first place.

    2. Who killed the Witchking of Angmar? You know, the one no man could kill? Think about that, you misogonystic pieces of shit. Read a fucking book before you steal a title.

    • Longstreet63

      Maybe they mean The Ring Cycle. After all, it’s incredibly long-winded and written by a proto-Nazi.

      • Raan

        Maybe they’re just full of shit.

        • Longstreet63

          Well, so was Wagner.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Only maybe? They are definitely full of shit. I just hate that they’re co-opting so much while understanding so little.

      • That’s the one where the woman dies, and spends a damn long time singing about it. Towards the end, the audience just starts screaming “just die, will you?”

        • Longstreet63

          To be fair, singing for hours about how you’re dying of tuberculosis is pretty much par for the operatic course. Wagner tended more towards singing while burning at the stake and such.

    • Picabo
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • hendenburg2

      When I glanced at it, my first reaction was “why was Ivanka wearing a Starfleet badge?”

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9a/Emblem.svg/2000px-Emblem.svg.png

      • MynameisBlarney

        They allow Romulans in Starfleet now?

        • Longstreet63

          Cylons, I think.

          • hendenburg2

            Tricia Helfer libelz!

          • sw19bunnies

            I just saw her in second season of Lucifer. Took me two episodes (and finally an IMDb search) to work out where I’d seen her before.

          • hendenburg2

            Also, Season 2 of Burn Notice

          • data_ninja

            Well definitely not Bothan.

        • hendenburg2
          • Longstreet63

            Something Something Affirmative Action!

          • JMP

            And one half-Klingon, though she washed out and joined the terrorist Maqis, but it would be easy to forget that as that plot line was pretty much dropped after less than half a season with everyone becoming one happy starship family.

            There’s also a Ferengi in Starfleet now, remember:

            http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10700000/Nog-ferengi-10761676-694-530.jpg

          • pussygrabber in chief

            Nog is awesome.

          • JMP

            His evolution from Jake’s annoying friend to the disabled Starfleet officer struggling with PTSD is one of the best character arcs on long-term TV, up there with Wesley Windham-Price going from incompetent Watcher to dark embittered demon hunter. And both started off basically as comic relief.

          • pussygrabber in chief

            I violently agree with you on both counts! Another good character arc was Spike’s evolution, beginning with Fool for Love which, setting aside Once More, with Feeling, is in my opinion the best episode of BtVS ever. He started changing even before he ran off and got his soul back. (Just found out James Marsters is 54!?!?!? Not there’s anything wrong with 54. I’d love to be 54 again. But seriously, that means he was in his mid-30s when he started playing Spike. I thought he was at least ten years younger.)

          • JMP

            “Fool for Love” together with “Darla” is just amazing; how Buffy and Angel together created a pair of episodes focused on flashbacks, each telling its own story but which worked together to deeply enrich the history of the four vampires most important to the two shows’ mythology crossing over in a few key scenes was simply incredible.

          • pussygrabber in chief

            Wow, you really know your Buffy/Angelverse. Marry me?

        • Shoto

          Orange Klingons? No, wait: That’s what Drumpf is trying to shake loose at 03:00 while sitting on his golden throne and tweetering out lunatic theories about Bamz doing Wire Tapps.

          • Raan

            god dammit

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        To beam her back up to the Ferengi starship?

        • data_ninja

          Rules of Acquisition numbers 34 & 35
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvFYBkesqGU&t=118

          • pussygrabber in chief

            I love Quark. One of my favorite moments from DS9 was him chewing on Picard’s “this far, no further” speech.

        • hendenburg2

          What? Because she’s Jewish?

      • Sakonyachen

        From that angle it looks like it is the outfit as well. Did she just leave a convention?

        • MynameisBlarney

          She’s not cool enough for Star Trek.

          • Sakonyachen

            They would still let her in because of the inclusiveness of their philosophy. Until she started preaching of her father’s greatness.

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          Okay, so maybe now we know why “Star Trek: Discovery” is tanking.

          • JMP

            It’s not tanking exactly, as no one has been able to see it; the release just keeps on getting pushed back further and further all the time; at this point I expect to actually go up on streaming at the same time The Winds of Winter hits bookstores (remember them?).

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            I haven’t read the Martin series, but I’ve heard folks pine away for that installment, definitely.

          • Sakonyachen

            What is Star Trek: Discovery?

    • Shoto

      Merkel: “This white trash bitch is the First Lady? Seriously? Pfffft.”

    • Bill D. Burger

      Merkel: “And they call her his viagra? Strange!”

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      She’s looking for the human-mask zipper.

    • bookish

      Yeah, that Ivanka magic doesn’t work so well on women who’ve actually accomplished something in life.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Hey, everyone remembers when Alice Roosevelt sat down with Kaiser Wilhelm or Margaret Truman and Joe Stalin. Unfair that Sasha Obama never got the face time with Canadian leader Justin Bieber.

    • sw19bunnies

      That’s resting Merkel face.

  • Isaac Heston

    Just in the light bulb aisle. Said “Oh, here’s the 3 way.” A couple scurries over and says “That’s what we were looking for!” Life is too funny.

  • MynameisBlarney

    And of COURSE I left my fuckin Cuban ceegars at the shop.

    https://cdn.meme.am/images/600×600/2779687/desk-flip-rage-guy.jpg

    • yyyaz

      That.Sucks.

      • MynameisBlarney

        yeah…
        They’ll keep though.
        Overnight in a ziploc won’t will them.

        • sw19bunnies

          I’ve managed to resuscitate a fair few dried-out cuban cigars in my time. Just a little TLC needed (but helps if you have a humidor etc) so yeah a night or two won’t hurt them.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I inherited a box of pre-emmbargo Cubans from my gramps.
            My roommate at the time worked at a cigar shop and he brought them back to perfection.
            Took like 3 months or something…
            Maybe not that long really, but STILL!

  • Shoto

    Maybe Roosh doesn’t understand the difference between the term “clown face” and the term “super hot Linda Rondstadt face.” Nah, he’s too fucking stupid for that.

    My point, Ms. Pennacchia, is that there’s no need for you to cry yourself to sleep ever again. Roosh is obviously A Idiot, whereas you are a Super-Hot Linda Rondstadt-Face Wonkette Lady.

  • jaspersdad

    Happy St Paddy’s day:) Green beer to drink and leprechauns to see.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • marxalot

        That describes my relationship with my ex (now bestie) to a nicety.
        You know how some people have idiosyncratic reactions to certain kinds of liquor? Irish whiskey made her fight hedges. And boy, did she have a taste for Jameson.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow…

          • yyyaz

            I’m alarmed now.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Did she at least beat the tyrannical hedges?

          • marxalot

            Oh, man. Those shrubs learned their fuckin’ lesson, lemme tell you.

      • Sardonicuss

        Just reminds me of the days when I could afford Jamesons….

  • Laffing Crow

    Really? This is like the little boys in grade school who have a mad crush. The twitter version of pulling a girl’s pigtails and dipping them in the inkwell. If he wasn’t such a complete dickwad, and the fact that he’s a grown-ass man acting like a little boy, it might almost be touching. But, no, ewwww.

  • hendenburg2

    Okay everyone, I’m off! gonna have to start that corned beef now. (Don’t worry, I’m making colcannon as well, so there will be ACTUAL Irish food).

    Also, for those of you going out…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDTQQWSmo8s

    • Laffing Crow

      If there was ever a finer name than “The Rumjacks”, I’ve never heard it.

      • data_ninja

        They’ve got a lot of good stuff. I think they’re from Australia too? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ngrsi5c1pag

        • MynameisBlarney

          They don’t seem to be very fond of the Irish though.

          • hendenburg2

            The song?

            Oh, it’s about cheap, knock-off “Irish” bars that are nothing but a shitty normal bar with a paint job and knickknacks on the walls.

          • data_ninja

            I believe that song was more or less complaining about places more or less faking irish culture, by claiming irish pub status when they pretty much were just a bar.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I shoulda used the /s

        • hendenburg2

          Yep!

          I was super pissed because I had the chance to see their first ever US show and I screwed up by not buying tickets in time.

        • Vel Venturi

          They are from Oz and are coming to the US to tour!

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    These MRA/PUA guys never fail to make me feel good about myself as a gay cartoon unicorn stallion who doesn’t actually exist yet still manages to get laid more often than they do.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oddly enough, I’ve never heard “unicorn stallion” before. I like it! Kind of like “attack hamster”, or “alpha emu”.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I think I’m going to need a complete list of every single thing Roosh V will or will not bang, now, especially with the “reasoning” added value.

    I mean, everything.

    Will he bang a tree? A shrub? A fire hydrant? What kind of clowns would he bang?? Probably sad ones, with painted-on stubble. “Doesn’t chafe your manhood”

    Will he bang a mousetrap? “Would not bang. Snaps on penis painfully”
    A hamster? “Would not bang, runs on wheel too fast, smells of cedar chips”
    A coffee table? “Would bang, at right height, but too angular to enjoy”

    • sw19bunnies

      He seems like the kind of creature who would bang anyone and anything, mobile or otherwise.
      Or at least it’s safest to assume he would.

    • Stulexington

      Would he bang with a fox?
      Would he bang in a box?
      Would he bang with a goat?
      Would ha bang in a boat?

      • hendenburg2

        Banging in a boat is the one time where size really does matter! Capsizing kills the mood quickly!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And I thought I was the only one with a deep need to know these things!

    • Laffing Crow

      Will he bang them, Sam I Am?

    • Laffing Crow

      Will he bang them without paying?
      I don’t know.
      I’m just saying.

  • Shoto
  • Sardonicuss

    Hey! How long before the little hurt fee-fee boy/men? show up on this very thread because somebody (prob a ewwy gurl!) taught them how to do alerts and stuff?!

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • data_ninja

      My friend has a Catillac. You should hear that motor purr!

  • Jack Tenhet

    I suppose this is the open thread, so here’s the funny.

    The White House Just Praised This Ridiculous Headline Without Realizing It Was Over-The-Top Sarcasm

    https://www.good.is/articles/white-house-thinks-sarcastic-story-is-real

    • MynameisBlarney

      HA!

      They’re plum stoopid!

      • Jack Tenhet

        Preeeety much! They never read past the damned headline. That’s why Creepy Spice– er cited the NYTimes as backing up the “wire tapp” claim when they actually never did that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You can’t make this shit up. It would be utterly unbelievable.

  • Shoto
    • Duke

      Get a job, Grampa!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The real dilemma, for me, about the Donald Disaster is prioritizing who gets the votes in what order. Mulvaney is pretty high on the list. I dare say ahead of even Sphincter and Frau Goebbels. They’re just lying assholes, they’re not plotting to starve grandma and grandpa.

      • sw19bunnies

        At least Trump plans to build a big enough wall.

      • Shoto

        “Mulvaney is pretty high on the list.”

        After yesterday’s budget rollout, he shot way the fuck up on my list of “Punchiest Faces in US America.”

    • Raan

      “Yeah, yeah, you fought for our freedom in Europe, but what have you done for us lately?”

      • Scrofula

        Certainly didn’t VOTE for freedom, right?

    • Vel Venturi

      It’s dangerous for the Nazis running our country to have people around who remember shooting damn Nazis. Even if a bunch of them voted for this.

  • Opiwan

    Someone seriously needs to redefine Red Pill as: “A pill… that’s red. Fin.”

    • Sardonicuss

      When I think red pill, I think barbiturate. Old habits die hard.

      • OrG

        Got any reds man?

        • Sardonicuss

          Those things were amazing….in that they erased most memories of ever using them as soon as you used them.

      • Laffing Crow

        Weed, whites and wine. No experience with a colored pharmaceutical.

        • Sardonicuss

          I was more blacks. Molly. Not like the new molly.

          • Scrofula

            Molly’s not really a black name.

          • Sardonicuss

            A certain pharmaceutical speed would beg to differ….

          • yyyaz

            aka, black beauties

          • Laffing Crow

            OK. Gotta admit, you’ve put the lie to my colorless pharmaceutical “sorta” memories. I very much remember Mollies. God, I’m old.

          • Sardonicuss

            Yep. Crosses were trucker speed..and I sure did my share. But the ultimate combo, for feeling like you ruled the world (ala weed, whites and wine..).
            Black molly’s, some really gold columbian and …maybe wine?
            Thinking back, how the fuck am I alive?

  • Shoto
    • Lance Thrustwell

      That man was smooth.

      • Shoto

        Aside from being brilliant, he’s just a cool dude. I feel sorry for what Merkel is going through right now. She’s a pro, but it still must be difficult to gear herself down to the mongoloid level. This is orders of magnitude worse than Gee Duhbyah, FFS.

        • Moebym the Persistent Returner

          Mongoloid libelz!!

    • Michael R

      I need a hug

      • snark-lurker

        (0)

  • proudgrampa

    Robyn is the kindest, smartest, most erudite reporter I have ever known.

    • snark-lurker

      yeah & i ain’t got a clew wut is a red pill

    • Villago Delenda Est

      How about a game of solitaire to pass the time?

  • Scrofula

    It’s well-known in schoolyard-bully circles that the most Bro-ish of Bro’s spend their free-time making websites, giving them a name that’s a Lord of the Rings ref., making that website a Wiki, and stalking mommy-blog contributors.
    FFS, a real bro, like Paul Ryan, would just make a website full of bouncing titty-gifs, if only to ask that hot chick for “help” in his remedial comp. literacy class.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      They’ve got that Faux Bro Mojo.

  • Flashman

    …a Wonkette typist…

    I would go with “Satan’s personal stenographer.”

  • JMP

    Does Roosh still keep trying to pal around with the neo-Nazis, who have consistently rejected him because he’s not white to them? http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2016/02/24/roosh-v-shocked-to-discover-that-white-supremacist-movement-is-full-of-white-supremacists/ It would be sad if he weren’t such a horrid excuse for a human being, which makes it funny.

    • Nightcrawler

      Its like how a guy named Mike Cernovich follows alt right nazis even though in the 40s the Nazis would have considered him to be inferior because he was “slavic”.

  • BMW

    You have to admire how his new tweet just kind of proves her point. Jackass.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Proving a woman’s point before you can get the words “You are a huge sexist douche” out of your mouth is the speciality of huge, sexist douches. It would be funny
      if sexism wasn’t so damn harmful to the entire human race.

  • Shanzgood
    • Shanzgood

      Holy shit, that’s huge! Sorry!

      • sw19bunnies

        As they say in the Shire.

        • Shanzgood

          Um..,

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        I hear that all the time in my imagination

        • Shanzgood

          Lolz!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Va va voom!

      Hummina hummina

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yer gawjus too!

      *coughs*

      Uh…I mean…you don’t have a clown face.

      • Shanzgood

        Snapchat gave me the clown face

        • MynameisBlarney

          Even so.
          You do not have a clown face, IMHO.

          • Shanzgood

            *curtsies* thanks!

          • MynameisBlarney

            You’re most welcome.

    • OrG

      So,people don’t fuck with you AT ALL when you’re rockin’ that look,do they?

      • Shanzgood

        I don’t do that IRL coz makeup and I are not friends.

    • snark-lurker

      i donut know wut to say that won’t get me in trouble

      • Shanzgood

        Snapchat does the things

        • snark-lurker

          ??

          • Shanzgood

            It puts the makeup on.

          • snark-lurker

            well i like it. i drive a truck with 50+ other guys & i thought i knew what creeps men are (average-wise) & did not count myself among them. now?…i donut know, but it donut look good (for me).

          • Shanzgood

            ypu be you and be good

            The rest can go piss up a rope

    • Shoto

      Wow!

    • vivian

      Shanzverygood; Shanzgreat

      • Shanzgood

        Feelzbad now

        • MynameisBlarney

          Don’tz.

        • vivian

          Dang

        • vivian

          Whyever for whatfor?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Villago Delenda Est

        Yeah, that too.

      • Shanzgood

        Yes! I’m Morticia and baconzgood is Gomez hahahaha!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You know, you remind me a bit of Greta Garbo!

      • MynameisBlarney

        She reminds me of my younger sis.

    • Amy!

      Rocking the Addams Family vibe, Shan. :-)

  • kindness

    Don’t feel bad Robyn. Roosh V only knows the faces on his tube socks.

  • Flashman

    Not for nuthin, but back in 1970 every hetero American male between ages 15 and 70 wanted to do Linda Ronstadt (only about half of them did).

    • Ken S., As Seen On Watch Lists

      🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Every day this shit becomes more horrifying and less funny…

    • JoeChristmas

      30,000 gun deaths a year.

  • Mike

    I’m sure a banging from Rush is somethin like 15 minutes of waiting for the blue pill to kick in and then 45 minutes of excuses why it didn’t work.
    And let’s be honest, the last thing Rush banged looked a lot like his right hand…

  • Nightcrawler

    They say that like writing against MRAs is a bad thing.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’ve seen Robyn. Robyn is quite attractive. If DooshB is not interested it’s because he plays on the other team.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He’s just compensating for the fact that he’s uglier’n homemade sin and he knows deep down, even if he wasn’t a misogynist douchecannon, he’d never even have a chance.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        So, you’re saying that cheekbone hair is NOT all the rage right now?

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Only among the “live in mom’s basement” crowd.

        • MynameisBlarney

          For him? No.

    • Scrofula

      Hey, don’t bring the other team into this. He’s on his own.

  • Scrofula

    Hey there, sexy, wanna come over and look at my online Encyclopedia?
    It’s full of entries on how stupid women are, and how they want all your money.
    Yes, I’m serious, and my mom gives me an ample allowance *wink*.
    Where are you going? You didn’t even give me a hand job!
    Dammit, I’m hungry, who’ll make me a sammich now? Mom!

    • Shanzgood

      Laffing and vomming at the same time.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Damn, that’s some seriously smooth talkin’. You should start your own blog. I’d subscribe.

      • Scrofula

        You can start with my book, “Scrofula’s Six-Year Guide to Staying Single” by Scrofula.

    • Sardonicuss

      …um my mom makes these little pizzas. She sprinkles some focaccia cheese on them.
      Lets go to Cambodia!

  • Pennacchia For Progress!

    • Nightcrawler

      Now there’s alliteration I can get behind.

      • Scrofula

        Alliteration you can Ally With?
        Assonance you can Associate with?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Hehehe…

          Ass….

  • HazooToo

    Made my contribution. Who’s next?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Dear Robyn: You do not have a clown face. You are very attractive. If I were a man and 20 years younger, I would ask you out. And it is my understanding that Red Pill men don’t actually look at women’s faces for more than 1 second, if that long, so their opinion of female attractiveness is not worth noting. I had a landlord when I was 20 who would be a Red Pill guy if he was still alive (but he’s not! There is a god!), and I do not remember one single occasion when he looked at anything other than my bosom during our conversations.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I am a 37 year old man. Should I ask her out?

      • janecita

        Yes!

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Well Robyn, If you get to visit Amsterdam, don’t be a stranger.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          I started following her on Twitter. Should I send dick picks already?

          • janecita

            Too early, give it a day or two.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Janecita, help me out here.

      • MynameisBlarney

        No.

        I’m a 46 y/o bald man with a slight paunch, a beard that needed trimming a month ago and that is terrible at relationships!

        What woman can resist ALL THAT HAWTNESS?

        *touches finger to butt and makes hissing sound*

        Damn right.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I can’t tell you what to do, I can only say that I would ask her out. Go for it.

    • Christopher Boscarino

      Robyn is funny, intelligent, and I imagine, unconcerned with Roosh’s opinion of her anyway. ;)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. I don’t think you can be intelligent AND be concerned with his opinion.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        This.

  • Yr. Gma

    Robyn, you have a sweet face of the type Grandmas like to pat, with both hands on either side, and then plant a kiss on the forehead.

  • Picabo
  • Jamoche

    How to defend against fresh fruit…
    https://www.reddit.com/r/boardgames/comments/5x6d00/language_barriers_are_tricky_an_artist_for_our/

    So we’re working on commissioning art for an upcoming Kickstarter game (Look for Ivion late April!), and we give one of our artists the following commission:

    “Massive brambles wind and weave like serpents in the background, slithering like snaky tendrils. One particularly huge one in the foreground smashes downward toward the center of the illustration, about to impact. A Wilder can be seen in the background, casting her hand forward, commanding the bramble.”

    What we got back from our incredibly talented artist was… unexpected. After much head-scratching on our end, we figured out what had happened.

    http://imgur.com/D3gQxCA

    • jowgajen

      This is great.

  • msanthropesmr

    What is that object I still see in the sky at 7pm?

  • BadKitty904

    Admittedly, I play for the Other Team, but I think that also gives a certain unbiased detachment to my opinion.

    I think you have a very pretty face, Robyn – probably an adorable ‘un, when you’re smiling.

  • SecludedCompound

    This is fun. I’m just adding “…and is known to be extremely unattractive to women.” to all of the “MRA celebrity” bios, hahaha.

    I guess I could cite something but, citing unanimity isn’t really necessary is it?

  • janecita

    They picked a very nice picture of you to denigrate. I guess that they couldn’t find a bad one:-)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Too much work to find a bad one…like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Robyn, you are a lovely young thing, and smart, and a good writer. I’m not even sure what a “clown face” is supposed to look like. I’m thinking more Trump, Bannon, and Conway. Clown face is as clown face does.

  • Nightcrawler

    Robyn Pennacchia is a beautiful and hilarious writer who is progressive and it’s rare to find a progressive Italian these days. In a sea of Paladinos and Giulianis you’re a breath of fresh air.

    • Christopher Boscarino

      I’m (part) Italian, most of the Italians I know here in California are progressive. Where do you live?

      • Nightcrawler

        New York.

        • Christopher Boscarino

          Interesting. I wonder if it’s a regional thing or if I just pick my friends wisely.

          • Nightcrawler

            Beats me. But I was born in Italy and in my experience an American Italian with progressive views is a needle in a haystack around here.

      • SecludedCompound

        I have never met a progressive Italian. I’m 1/2 Genovese, West Coast by way of New York.

        • Christopher Boscarino

          Huh.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Can we restore the settings to Novermber 1, 2016?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Have you tried turning 2017 off, then on again?

      • Pisto75666

        Whacking it on the side works sometimes also, too.

        • Unhappy Fingers

          I have a Universal Tool (aka bent paper clip) if someone will just show me where the reset button is.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Indeed.
          As does cursing and threatening violence with a large hammer.

          • Amy!

            My first car was an AMC (a Hornet (green, naturally)). My big brother, a mechanic, shook his head solemnly, and told me I needed a special tool, an “AMC Adjustment Tool, or ‘amcat'” if I planned to make it my daily driver. I said, fine, I’ll go to the auto parts place and get one, and he said no, no, he’d bring me one.

            Which he did. It was a five pound sledge. I laughed, but promised to carry it.

            And he was right! That damned car had a habit of just turning itself off, for no apparent reason, while driving down the highway. The first time it happened, I pulled over, madder than hell, and went to get out of the car, and remembered I had a fucking sledge hammer. Grabbed it, got out, opened the hood, and screamed at the engine, while shaking the hammer.

            That calmed me down some. I got back in the car and stowed the hammer, did the breathe in, breathe out routine for a minute. This was before the days of cell phones, so rather than gather my stuff and start walking, I figured it couldn’t hurt to hit the ignition. Started up, sweet as a nut. I boggled, then jumped out, slammed the hood, jumped in, and went home. Had my brother look at it, told him the story. He said “Yup. That’s what it’s for. Guess you fixed it.” And went back to his beer.

            It did that a fair number of times thereafter (until one of the pushrods broke and I had to play helper as my brother rebuilt the engine; after that it was amazingly reliable), and it was true: cursing and threatening violence with a large hammer was the solution.

            I took it as a lesson from the universe.

          • Pisto75666

            I’m ALWAYS in favor of cursing. More often than not it doesn’t help, but it makes me feel better.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I want to find that portal, jump through, and go back to the world where Hillz is president. Not sure how we all ended up here.

      • nightmoth

        Yeah, well—keep telling ya’ll: it involves a big game hunter, a T. Rex, and a time machine. No other logical explanation that I can see.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just kinda’ typical and funny: Ireland: “What the fuck???”

    [Donald Trump marked the Taoiseach of Ireland’s visit to The White House this week with a protracted, bizarre and quite crudely edited montage of photos and videos.

    Slowly zooming in on Steve Bannon’s head and fading between disparate scenes, it was reminiscent of the kind of video a village bowls club would make to commemorate the success of its inaugural fancy dress night – also, it was deeply confused in its celebration of Ireland.

    The montage was set to ‘Amazing Grace’, which was written by Englishman John Newton, and the rendition was performed on Scottish bagpipes by the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards]

    http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/president-donald-trump-twitter-video-ireland-st-patricks-day-amazing-grace-bagpipes-enda-kenny-a7634881.html

    • so no black irish then?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh, I’m sure that went over fabulously.

  • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger

      Elly Mae and Kellyanne?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        FTW

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Anything can be posted anywhere, anytime.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Nancy Kulp deserves out unending respect.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Kulp

      • Courser_Resistance

        Absolutely. Her physical comedy skills were incredible.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Well, no, not really. Comments aren’t really allowed.

    • nightmoth

      Truth—I had crushes on each of them.

  • janecita
    • Mary Sandoras

      He’s adorable!

  • Mary Sandoras

    Snowflakes by the hour…….Funny or Die.
    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d21a1f4244/snowflakes-by-the-hour

  • Thaumaturgist

    For the love of God! Here is a picture of a man with an Irish name holding a headless pint, which he describes as “Guinness,” as if were a pot of gold, lately liberated from the Little People. This American politician might as well be Polish-American. Clue: No actual Irishman will consider drinking a pint of Guinness without at least a two inch head. It’s not Guinness without the head. http://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/228b63f41a17126f2a20160630b51e2d1f61431885f828ae69da7e6a69ce8070.jpg

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Putting something with a head in his mouth makes him nervous. Because, you know.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Bottled “Guinness” as opposed to draft or draught.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Fucker grew up in Wisconsin. He is no more “Irish” than me and I grew up on a farm next to a rez in NM.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’m 3/4 Polish and I know better.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m 1/4 Irish and…

        Well, if i wasn’t a poor bastard right now, I’d be at the Irish Pub.

        Drinkin and eating corned beef and cabbage.

    • Michael R
    • nightmoth

      Yeah, the Irish Times had a laughing fit over that today.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Vladimir?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Here’s that tree a few months later: “He didn’t even call back!”

      https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_NothYQV14w0/R0LxAO70VVI/AAAAAAAAAvg/Xm1qiryZ2w0/s400/xggdfgd.jpg

      • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

        Worth 1000?

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      John Cowper Powys adaptation?

      • Scrofula

        Stop reading so damn much.
        I think Riverdale is on right now.

        • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

          Damn, I still haven’t watched that. Haven’t even started Gotham yet. Too many shows.

    • Scrofula

      Hee hee, I have ticks in my ass crack!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Use the shiny leaves to remove them.
        They HATE that.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    This must be open thread, so….

    Been on Maui 2 months today! It seems like forever and no time all at once. My dogs and cat are happy and healthy here, and so am I. I miss my friends and family a lot, though. I never lived more than an hour from my parents, siblings and nieces, so it’s been a big change being a quarter of the planet from them. We are going on a sunset dinner cruise tonight to see the humpack whales, before they head back to Alaska for the summer. I think I’ll pop a pain pill for my fucked-up toe, have some drinks on the boat and have myself a Bette Davis bumpy night. Jonny better fasten his seatbelt!

    • Congrats! Have fun!

    • HazooToo

      I love and hate you both. Have fun!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I hate us sometimes. I totally get it.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          [through gritted teeth] I am very happy for both of you and the fabulous life you have found together.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            That was very sweet and convincing!!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Seatbelt fastened! Designated driver hat on. Cocktail away!

      • MynameisBlarney

        No, I am not jealous of people being happy in a healthy relationship together, why do you ask?

        • Mary Sandoras

          Love, lust and lollipops for everyone.

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          We’ll always have Paris.

          • MynameisBlarney

            *sighs*

            Yes…
            Speaking of which, did the staff at the hotel ever get all those stains out of….well, everything…and do you know if they ever found that last circus midget?

          • Kiri the Paid Protestor

            *frowns, trying to remember*
            Didn’t we mail him to Buenos Aires?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I thought we shipped him to Boca Raton…

          • Kiri the Paid Protestor

            Uh-oh…

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh fuck…

          • redarmyzombie

            You see, this is why we can’t have nice things…

    • Martini Ambassador

      Wow, I’m behind on the romantic dealings here. I mean, I knew you and Jonny were a “thing” (hi Jonny!) but I hadn’t realized you moved too. That’s so awesome!

      And now I must fire myself from my post as Head of Interpersonal Relations, my failure complete.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I moved to Hawaii! It was the scariest, most overwhelming undertaking of my whole life, but I did it!!

        • Martini Ambassador

          I spent a week in Maui about an age ago. Loved, loved, loved it. I am jealous you get to live there. And with a great guy too? That’s the jackpot right there.

      • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

        Don’t feel bad, I had to kinda figure it out. Sheesh, you spend one week away from Wonkland, and everything changes: nyms, avs, relationships, clam policies…

    • BadKitty904

      Pomaika`i!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Pono! (I know like 7 whole Hawaiian words that aren’t street names).

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Wait a minute!!!! Did you move to Maui to be with Jonny? How come I never know anything? If that’s what happened, Mozel Tov to you both.

      Note to Rebecca and Shy: have you ever considered adding “dating site for liberals” to your “mommyblogging and dick joke” emporium title?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Yes, I did! Dammit, I thought everyone knew, but sometimes you miss things on here. Happens to me all the time, so then I just pretend I know what everyone’s talking about.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I feel like I’m one of the regulars here, but I TOTALLY missed that. I did notice your name change, but I thought you might just be dreaming about moving to Maui.

          I feel like we need a message board for weddings, hookups, illnesses, deaths in the family, etc…so we can all keep up with what’s going on.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Like a prayer list at church, except the judgment and gossip is funny!

  • Persistent Demme

    Save some lives!
    http://www1.wfp.org/

  • The Wanderer

    Roosh V asshole looks like poster child for post-natal abortion. Would not bang.

    (Really. I wouldn’t bang him.)

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      From that pic, it is quite certain that nobody would.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’d bang him. With real, large and many bangs. Almost like a belt fed votey bang machine…

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Very simple to use, just pull the pin and vote.

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    There is a man wearing a dress blowing on an assemblage of donkey dicks down at the corner. Must be some kind of pervert.

    • The Wanderer

      Or Milo Y.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Huh, circus in town?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Must be.

    • snark-lurker

      thx 4 the 1-finger wave

    • Scrofula

      Paul Ryan’s Dad’s ghost, honking a solemn tune for his boy’s “success”.

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        My secret explanation for why Ryan has such a hardon to kill Social Security is because he’s mad at his dad’s ghost.

        • Scrofula

          Those survivor bennies must have been shitty.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Ummmmm….WHAT?!!!

    • Jonny On Maui

      If I wasn’t positive my brother was dead…

    • Sheepshagger

      Yanni concert? Sad.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Or Zamfir?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        I actually went to one once. It was free. The opener was a percussionist who was sort of interesting, David Van Tiegham maybe?

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor
  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I think Roosh likes you.

    • Picabo

      EEEWWWWW!

  • Courser_Resistance

    Robyn, you are adorable with a wicked look in your eye. I’m a hetero-type woman, but IMHO you are eminently fuckable! ‘Course, I have a soft spot for brunettes ;-)

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      As a lesbian, I approve this message.

    • mancityRed6

      to me, that look says, “Really? Are you sure about that?”

  • Carpe Vagenda

    It just feels creepy to be reassuring someone because this spineless amoeboid sack of bile is negging them. Makes it sound as if his opinion has some kind of meaning. Obviously everyone on the front page is strong and good looking, and all the children are above average — he wouldn’t be whining about this otherwise — but why get Roosh’s brain spittle on any of it?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Some other people were trying to get at this downthread…MRAs think women’s value comes from men’s opinions of our looks and how fuckable they determine us to be. I know no one meant to be anything but nice, but the point remains that women’s value is not determined by what anyone else thinks about their looks, whether it’s a put down or a compliment.

      • mancityRed6

        I like her writing and her brave forays into the freakshow that is the MRA, PUA, and MGTOW.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Aye.

          She don’t take no shit.

          And that’s fuckin’ maor awesomer’n fuck.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    The tRump misadministration mistook a satirical Washington Post article for a real one: http://dcist.com/2017/03/white_house_sends_out_satirical_art.php

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Idiots

    • HazooToo

      I swear to God, I felt so proud on the day I voted, I can’t even comprehend ever feeling that confident again. This article is hysterical, but behind the laugh is a HORRIBLE SCREAM OF MADNESS AND FRUSTRATION, FOR WE HAVE ELECTED FUCKING CHTHULU’S STUPID INBRED COUSIN-UNCLE-GRANDPA-BROTHER-IN-LAW!

    • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

      Barkeep! Drinks on me for Ms Petri over there! She has Done A Great Thing, and must be rewarded!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Open letter to Robyn and Roosh – Can’t you two crazy kids see that you’re in love? Why not just meet, get a room (in Roosh’s mom’s basement) bang each others brains out, and be done with it? The sexual tension among you two is palpable. You’re the Sam and Dianne of the Internet.

    • mancityRed6

      I wouldn’t wish Roosh on a dying squid

      • TJ Barke

        I might wish it on him…

        • Sheepshagger

          Tentacle necro moron snuff ? Lid for every pot I suppose.

        • mancityRed6

          they do have some very sharp beaks

        • MynameisBlarney

          Vampire Squids.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Oh, god, Robyn is WAY too pretty and smart for that bag of dicks. I was just making a little joke to amuse myself. I don’t even look down on someone who is an adult and lives with their mom, as long as they aren’t dickish, but he’s clearly an asshole. Instead of whining about how women should be dumber, and thus willing to marry him, he should concentrate on being a decent human being.

      • Rasilom

        Thats good because even dying squids have standards.

        • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

          They don’t go for bestiality.

  • Picabo
  • mancityRed6

    bathroom is clean. and the sink drains a lot quicker now that I cleaned all the nastyness off of the plug.
    now it’s sportsball time. KU against UC Davis.
    #1 seed against a #16.
    please don’t lose, they’ll never hear the end of it.

    • efoveks

      Davis is gonna kick their collective ass. GO AGGIES! ;)

      • Scrofula

        [Sponsored by Tandem Inc.]

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Robyn, you are very pretty, and anyone who says otherwise is clearly an idiot who is just jealous.

  • efoveks

    “Robyn Pennacchia is a Wonkette typist …”

    AND she can type? That girl has SO MANY TALENTS!!!!111!!!!11111!! She should be a role model for all the young women today. :)

    • Scrofula

      Think it’s an insult, cause she must have gone to secretary SCHOOL.

    • mancityRed6

      yeah, they can’t say writer because that would involve creativity and having your own thoughts.

    • Alan

      But can she fetch a beer and sandwich?

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      And she won’t take Roosh V’s dictation? I can’t imagine why.

    • Maclare

      “insert Truman Capote quote here”

  • Gee Robyn, I see you as more of a Juggalo, than a clown. You know, much more badass than a sad Emmitt Kelly.

  • Edith Prickly

    Considering that Doosh has been sporting a full-on Osama bin Laden beard lately, I think we can safely disregard his opinions about other people’s looks.

    I dropped in to wish all you Wonkers a happy St. Patrick’s Day and show off my homemade beef Guinness stew with mashed potatoes dinner. Sláinte! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e382a50ea6c86a88a33eb534a2a5e2ce5f4f81b86f76b39d9d468a18fc79aef9.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      OHMAHGAH!

      That looks so good I swear I can smell it!

      Wait…what?

      That doesn’t make any damn sense.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Wondeful. I kind of hate you because I want that right now.

      • Edith Prickly

        If I wasn’t still housebound, I would bring you some.

    • BrendaKay

      Yum!

    • BadKitty904
      • Jonny On Maui

        What did you give up for Lent? I gave up giving stuff up for Lent…

        • BadKitty904

          We both gave up meat. No corned-beef on St. Paddy’s Day sux.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      No, I’ll be nice. Won’t say what that looks like.

      I like the plate?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Hola Wonknicians!

    How is everybody?

    (P.S. I think Robyn is purdy, but never had an opportunity to say it without sounding creeptastic).

    • mancityRed6

      off work already? how’s the job?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        good buddy! Yeah, i was actually late (remember mythical mountain time zone).

        Had a pretty good day – we’ll see what my boss thinks of a project I turned in today. Making some dummy mistakes still, but little(r) ones.

        By the way, hoping I’d see you. I got one of those DE safety blades, but not the one you recommended. It’s nice, i nick the shit out of myself every day, but it’s keeping my bumps and zits to a minimum. I’m gonna order the one you recommended soon. I got first full paycheck today! Thanks for the rec.

        • mancityRed6

          it’s actually a lot harder than it looks. I like the one I got (plus, it was about $12) and it’s heavy. look things up on the internets, there’s an angle that helps and the weight of the bladeholder really helps. technically, you’re supposed to hold it by the end and let the weight of it do all the work.
          good about the job. early days, they don’t expect perfection.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks buddy, yeah, I get a smooth shave at 45 degrees, which is read is the way to go. I may be gripping it too high. But at least I’m not as monstrous-looking before.

            And thanks!

          • mancityRed6

            I bought clippers today, so haircut tomorrow : )

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Heh, I can’t give up my haircut lady. She does my hair, done the TX mom’s hair for years, did the TX dad’s hair before he died (he was a notoriously picky man). She makes me look good with minimum fuss.

          • mancityRed6

            I wouldn’t if I was still in Lawrence. There was an awesome barbershop downtown. All I have here is supercuts.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            There was a cool old school barber shop down in south beach. They used to the hair in the back, near your neck, with a damn straight razor.

          • mancityRed6

            they had straight razor shaves for one hot minute, I almost tried it out.
            this was the same barber that Bernie Sanders went to when he was in Lawrence:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-sTq0mD5O4
            also, the same guy that cut my hair the week before.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
          • mancityRed6

            I’m fairly certain I have, but it’s been awhile. I did a -lot- of research when I was thinking about going the straight razor route.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Tried to listen to Tweety Matthews…again. Alas, it’s too difficult. He had three guests on and they excoriated Trump and his doubling down on his tweet about wiretapping. But Matthews’ diarrhea mouth just ruins it.
    Matthews: “The president’s tweet is just false. What do you think?”
    Guest (any guest): “I…”
    Matthews: “This was idiotic. Why did he tweet an obvious lie? Your thoughts.”
    Guest: “Chris I…”
    Matthews: “He’s up early. Listens to FOX or reads Breitbart and goes with that. You agree?”
    Guest: “He….”
    Matthews: “He doesn’t even check. He has every service at his fingertips and doesn’t check. ___ By the way. Thank you for being here. (*Looks at camera.) We’ll be right back.”

    Why do they even bother showing up. Jeeez’

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s called “Tweety” for a reason.

      • Bill D. Burger

        He just makes my ears bleed.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          One of those guys, if you were a personal friend, you’d sit him down and try to clue him in…”you know Chris, there’s a good reason EVERYbody hates you”.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I thought was because of his massive noggin.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I know. It drives me crazy. Why the FUCK does anyone agree to go on his goddamn show? And why has no one ever sat him down with a few episodes and SHOWN HIM what a hopeless fuckwit he is?!?

    • Lambsendbeds

      I can’t watch him for more that about 45 seconds before I start screaming “Let them answer the fucking question!!! Let them finish a fucking sentence!!!” Then the cats scatter and hide in the bedroom, and the dogs crawl into their beds.

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner

    MRAs ought to read the Aesop’s Fable about the fox and the grapes.

    Just because something is unobtainable, doesn’t mean it’s undesirable. Just like a grape isn’t sour just because you can’t reach it, a woman is not fat/ugly/stupid/a bitch/a clown/etc. just because she’s too good for your sorry ass.

    • Scrofula

      Most women probably WANT to maintain that fiction around these guys.

      • Mary Sandoras

        I loved playing the game of certain men assuming women are stupid, It allowed me to leave numerous men looking very foolish.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Very important corollary: she can be fat/ugly/stupid/a bitch/a clown and *still* be too good for your sorry ass if she’s a self-supporting fat ugly stupid bitch clown with perspective and a sense of humor.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I really don’t get their logic. If they take everything away from women so they have to rely exclusively on men, why the living fuck would any self-respecting woman want to go live with those losers in their mom’s basements? Wouldn’t they be better off as the 3rd wife of some rich guy? Waaaay less work and more for their kids.

  • theblackdog

    I’m not doing corned beef today but that’s because there will be corned beef tomorrow. We miscalculated on when to start the brining since we’re following the Alton Brown recipe so it will be at its best tomorrow :-D

    • Once&futureFred

      Do you have the special pink salt? (Not Himalayan) I’ve had a hard time sourcing it locally.

      • theblackdog

        I need to ask my friend if he did because he was the one making it.

  • stankbait

    It might be about the truth here which makes Wonkette my favorite site for mockery!
    If you piss me off in the trailer park I’m pretty god damned sure the whole park will be on your ass. But we don’t fucking lie! Or make up shit!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Oh..almost forgot…

    Dude that hooked me up with the cigars said I should get a shitload of my friends to go to Cuba next time he’s there.
    He said he’d take us right to the farm where they make the cigars.

    If I ever to actually go to Cuba, the cigar farm would be like a side quest.

    Just sayin’.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Fuck it, before long we’ll have people emigrating TO Cuba, if only for the healthcare. Cuba has nothing BUT healthcare.

      • BadKitty904

        Put a pin in that.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, I saw Sicko.

        It was infuriating.

      • georgiaburning

        don’t forget rum

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • MynameisBlarney

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7JYirzX4AEvRm1.jpg

      HA!

      It’s almost as if she has dirt on him and he knows it.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah but this is really serious every european ally is retracting support of US and is finding new ways with other alliances. We are done with this.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I know.
          I can’t blame them.
          And, also,too; good.

          I’m done with this shit too.

        • TJ Barke

          It’s almost like someone or something is intentionally undermining the united states…

          • MynameisBlarney

            INORITE!?!

        • BadKitty904

          Just as Putin planned…

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            It’s not too late. Robyn and I could make many babbies.

          • BadKitty904

            Within a year or so, there should be a booming “Meet Beautiful American Brides” industry…

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Well I am a pretty good catch thank you.

      • Courser_Resistance

        She’s had to listen to bloviating shitbags like him her whole life. He’s so fucking bad at it, she’s amused. He truly is pathetic and everyone knows it.

      • Bill D. Burger
      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        THIS IS PRICELESS

      • Liberoid Ron

        ‘Well, Mr Trump? What do you have to say for yourself?’
        ‘… ‘m’sorry…’
        ‘Speak up please. I cannot hear you.’

    • BadKitty904

      America agrees.

  • JoeChristmas
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Another failed attempt to listen to NPR today. They are in the middle of their thrice-monthly pledge drive, so much tote bag happy talk. I decided that if someone said on air, “that shitsucking orange-dyed git is threatening to pull our funding” I would donate $25.

    • OrG

      Go ahead and spend the $25 on beer.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Funny you should say…DONE!

  • Reality Kills

    It’s not the Return of the Kings but the Return of the Jedi!

    • Reality Kills

      You guys have not watched Clerks 2?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        The only thing I remember is the donkey. And something about, oh never mind.

        • Reality Kills

          Oh, come on, GECH! the whole Lord of the Rings vs Star Wars mock was genius! Loved Randal sense of humor and witty way to talk.

  • bookish

    Baby hippo Fiona special Q&A today. Whiskery diva enjoys her bottle and splashing her keepers. Also career information for those who might be interested in entering the field of zookeeping.

    http://cincinnatizoo.org/blog/2017/01/25/premature-hippo-baby-updates/

  • Edith Prickly

    Speaking of sick Roosh burns:

    He’s one of those people who, when you think he can’t possibly sink deeper into the scum-bucket, he gleefully proves you wrong. His evolution from greasy douche to wannabe guru to “Taliban-lite” is evidence of that.

    http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Roosh_V

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Rationalwiki is highly recommended.

      • Edith Prickly

        The Milo article is GOLD.

  • Reality Kills

    Donnie, do us a favor and check yourself in a mental institution. I understand your dad was hard on you but you are 70s! Your dad has been dead for a long time You don’t have to “win it all”.

  • Once&futureFred

    At the risk of violating the prohibition against any and all comments here I’d like to offer an unsolicited opinion on your physical appearance and desirability relative to clowns. You’re a Smokeshow Robyn! Meanwhile Roosh is still Roosh, and his “girlfriend” is still a bottle of Jergen’s lotion.

  • HazooToo

    You have just reminded me that the Mammoth Hunting folks exist. Time to read about gross stuff until I feel Unclean! http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/03/12/just-some-men-of-good-character-talking-about-murdering-brown-people/#more-26979

    • mancityRed6

      I stop by every so often. it’s the links to older stories that drag me in.

      • HazooToo

        It’s like playing The Game. (You just lost, btw, you’re welcome.) I don’t even remember it for months, and then something clicks, and I have to spend days going through that shit. The writers are great, but the comments section is almost never on topic.

        • mancityRed6

          I get really bored at work. And when the Wonkette doesn’t update for a few minutes…my mind wanders.

          • HazooToo

            You need something new to read! Have you read The Property Of Hate?

          • mancityRed6

            I have not. Thanks.
            I usually end up on the google news page, crooks and liars, or wonkette or wonkville.
            I do like snarking at the morons on the hill.

          • HazooToo

            I have found a new plaything, lately, with Twitter. But TPOH and Oglaf are my Sunday update treats!

          • mancityRed6

            I really have only about 5 minutes of free reading to do at a time before I have to move around and check the two machines I run.
            Also, I’m not supposed to be on the internet outside of breaks.

          • HazooToo

            That’s good news! It’ll take longer for you to get current with TPOH, and you’ll spend less time impatiently waiting for Sunday, to get one page, and find out it’s mostly a dramatic picture.

          • mancityRed6

            every couple of weeks I do catch up on SMBC

          • HazooToo

            Ooo, which one is that? I think I’m new to that.

          • mancityRed6

            saturday morning breakfast cereal. it’s kind of a cerebral comic.
            hover your mouse pointer over the comic for more text.

          • HazooToo

            Between that and Scenes From A Multiverse, I’m covered for WEEKS! Thank you!

          • mancityRed6

            scenes is another that I remember every so often. usually it involves someone else posting a link and then I spend an hour or so catching up.

        • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

          The comments are off-topic? That just will not do!!!!!!

          • HazooToo

            We are much more obedient about open threads, in our non-existent comment sections!

        • C4TWOMAN

          In this case the writer is great, but the comments veer wildly from clever and insightful to petty purist policing bullshit.

          I used to comment there. USED to.

          • HazooToo

            I don’t want to comment anywhere else but Wonkette, anymore. It’s too bad we’re not allowed.

  • goonemeritus

    I hope our unalloyed love is some small compensation for the loss of a future with Rash or whatever he calls himself.

    • BadKitty904

      Bushy Rooshy, the Bristly Barrow*…

      *look it up, those of you who didn’t spend summers on a family farm that raised pigs…

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Kitty has just opened up an entirely new realm of intrigue.

        • BadKitty904

          Believe me, there’s absolutely nothing intriguing about gelding pigs.

          • bupkus23

            Ask Joni Ernst!

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            But you’re qualified to be a GOP Senator. Pays well, I hear.

          • BadKitty904

            I’m not nearly evil enough. That would be my brother.

  • Anna Rompage

    Not to be a boorish asshole or anything, but I’d be mighty happy to walk arm and arm with our dear Robyn… Not to mention, anyone who knows how to make a Sunday gravy, and has the confidence to post her meatball recipe along side our dearest editrix, scores some huge points in my book!

    Fuck that Doosh V asshole, what a putz

    • BosGrl

      If by gravy, you mean tomato, then I love you to infinity.

      • Anna Rompage

        Exactly!

        I am a little prejudiced to mine, as I’m one of those uppity liberals with a big garden and process my own tomato sauce from the home grown bounty. But in my book, I’ve never had a bad sunday gravy, and it always brings back memories of my Sicilian grandma! ;)

        • BosGrl

          :)

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m not at a computer with a secure proxy, otherwise I’d be having some fun. I had NO IDEA literally any-who could edit their wiki or –um, someone I know would have done something to it ages ago….
      Now the cat’s out of the bag, it’s probably not worth the bother. Also too I have Real Work to finish.

  • BadKitty904

    So, apparently, once you’re married, your taxes are different? What the hell?

    • msanthropesmr

      Oh yes. It bites the big one the first year, and then you fix it.
      We owed $5k the first year we got married…

      • BadKitty904

        Nobody tells me anything, dammit.

      • mancityRed6

        we weren’t that bad, but we didn’t get near the return she got before we jumped the broom.

    • Panika MCD

      yes.

    • Unhappy Fingers

      Yep. Decades ago, after buying my first house jointly with live-in GF, I went to the trouble of computing our tax returns as two single people, married, and married filing separately. Two single returns, with deductions mostly on the higher income return, won the least tax owed prize.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Insert snarky comment about the IRS trying to destroy marriage.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Today, we are all Pennacchia wannabes.

  • bookish
    • Panika MCD

      I can see how Spice Spice Baby is like a hostage. he will never work again after this, so he has to hold onto the job. but K-Con on the Cob books interviews she doesn’t need to give and then makes shit up as she goes along. she’s also starting to wear so much makeup that she looks like a clown trying to impersonate a prostitute. I mean, she’s got so many falsies on, she can’t even keep her eyes open anymore.

  • Reality Kills

    Ghost in the Shell Movie is coming out. Watched the trailer. Please, spare me. I prefer the 1995 Manga! Watched it so many times.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      There is no original Hollywood can not ruin with a remake.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Just ONCE, ONCE I’d like the remake to be better than the original.

        Na gonna happen, I suspect. The track record is so abysmal.

        • Jennifer R

          It happens sometimes in video game land.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I saw the preview.
      I doesn’t look bad, actually.

      • MynameisBlarney

        It was like they painstakingly recreated the action sequences.

      • Reality Kills

        Can’t make that conclusion yet. I may go and watch it but if I don’t like it, I gonna rewatch my 1995 copy 100 times in a week.

        • MynameisBlarney

          The ending though…that will be the deciding factor most likely.
          They’ll either nail it, or…un…nail it?

          • Reality Kills

            I always thought I was the ghost in the network.

          • Moebym the Persistent Returner

            The Net is vast and infinite.

          • Reality Kills

            Wow! You are into it!

          • Moebym the Persistent Returner

            Oh, yeah. I can talk about GitS all day long.

          • Reality Kills

            Awesome! At work they have this SciFi Fridays once a month. People talk about technology today and how it came from movies, etc. I did the GitS one!

          • MynameisBlarney

            *jaw drops and hits the floor*

            No….

            It couldn’t be…I seriously NEVER even considered that!

            Holy fucking shit!

            https://media2.giphy.com/media/26ufdipQqU2lhNA4g/200w.gif#2

          • MynameisBlarney

            Now I gotta watch that shit again!

          • Reality Kills

            Ha! I am so glad! Enjoy it! I have one copy at work. Sometimes I am programming while listening the anime.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It is an excellent movie. As is Ninja Scroll.

            I wish netflix would carry old school anime.

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      My thoughts precisely.

    • TJ Barke

      Anime. Manga is comix.

      • Reality Kills

        TJB, thank you for the correction!

    • Nightcrawler

      Also too, more white people injecting themselves into movies that are supposed to be about Asian characters.

      • Lord Jim

        Asians? Aren’t they like, alternate white people?

  • Slamtundra

    Ha! I thought Evan wrote that headline and I was like damn, dude…

  • Martini Ambassador

    Weak, fragile male egos are all the same:
    https://twitter.com/spectatorindex/status/842833084647010304

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Astute observation.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ooh, sick burn!

    • Antonin Dvorak

      *Googles how to say “burn” in German*

    • Liberoid Ron

      He would be neither the first nor the last who thinks that rudeness = strength. But then, that’s just how bullies think.

  • dshwa

    I’m sure you cried as many tears as you would have cried tears of laughter at seeing Roosh’s tiny peener.

  • Panika MCD

    did you guys know that they make kid sized headphones like the ones you wear at gun ranges and they come in a variety of colors and patterns? b/c SXSW has taken over the coffee shop, I’ve seen a ton of them today. these are my favorites so far:

    https://s7d1.scene7.com/is/image/BedBathandBeyond/63522444481674p?hei=2000&wid=2000&qlt=50,1

  • Reality Kills

    Who knows what Wintermute is?

    • BadKitty904

      The AI in that cyberpunk series?

    • Martini Ambassador

      Seasonal lager?

      • BadKitty904

        Good answer!

      • Reality Kills

        No. But I did want to name a beer Neuromancer.

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      It’s been a while, but I recall that being a character/entity on William Gibson’s Neuromancer.

      • Anna Rompage

        Oh, I kind of forgot about that book… What a good one it was!

        • Liberoid Ron

          Kind of forgot?

          • Anna Rompage

            I know… Hangs his head in shame….

      • Reality Kills

        You won as well!

    • What we need to do to Trump when there is less than 12 hours of sunlight in a day?

    • Code for winning too much?

    • TJ Barke
      • Reality Kills

        LOL! Love Simpsons! And you are right. I just posted alluring to nerds.

    • Liberoid Ron

      One of the two AIs that were attempting to join together (illegally) in William Gibson’s ‘Sprawl’ series of stories and novels, the other being named Neuromancer.
      Every now and again I start at the beginning and read everything he ever wrote. Not many writers around who can evoke time and place so clearly that you can even SMELL his near-futures…

      • Reality Kills

        Loved it when put in parenthesis illegally!

        • Liberoid Ron

          It was a major plot point!

  • Nightcrawler
    • JoeChristmas

      Rumpis and Penishead

    • Liberoid Ron

      Disturbingly accurate.

  • snark-lurker

    can we start a 1 to 10 creepo scale for judging guys?

    • Anna Rompage

      I think it might need to go to 11

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Start at 11.

      • snark-lurker

        how about 0 to 3? Zero up to totes with cooties

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      We have been doing that in our own heads, for survival, since forever.

      • snark-lurker

        i should have figured on that

    • Panika MCD

      you’re going to need a bigger scale.

    • We finally found a scale where Trump will be at the top end!

  • Wait, Roosh the Douche put a comma after Clown face.

    Isn’t that wrong?

    • Panika MCD

      he’s just one big WROOOOONG pacing in his mother’s basement.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    For Ryan, Bannon and Mulvaney. Happy St. Patrick’s Day, you loathsome fucks.

    https://youtu.be/WxxQOGGl2Jc

    • oh my lord that is such a friday treat.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I’ve got a tiny dash of Irish in me. This makes me very happy.

        • i have a bit too (irish grandfather who met my scottish grandmother on the way over to canada to beat up the married dude who got his sister pregnant. totally not making that up…)

          sadly however all that Celt Fierce got diluted in montreal by way of chicago and the 21st century.

          • Lord Jim

            Today, we are all Irish.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • dshwa

      I thought that was Obama

      • Jonny On Maui

        Obama would have used a microwave…

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          His camera is really a microwave.

          • Lord Jim

            So the man in the gaberdine suit really WAS a spy…

        • I wonder what would happen to that stuff on Trump’s head if we put it in a microwave. Science demands an answer to this question.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    O nerds o nerds: Neil Gaiman talks to PBS about norse myths.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=L8fhpTxwCnI

  • C4TWOMAN

    Please please please tell me peeps here have trolled the fuck out of these bitches and posted screens as proof below. Please please! A glorious end to a beautiful day.

    And well played, Ms. Pennacchia.

    =^-^=

    • mancityRed6

      that whole scene (mra, pua, mgtow) is a place where angels fear to tread.
      Robyn does, and that is why I do respect her.

    • Panika MCD

      sadly, it’s been a bunch of, “but Robyn: you’re a very pretty girl!”

  • Reality Kills

    You guys a bunch of fucking nerds! Hate you! LOL! JK! You are fun!

  • bookish

    https://www.propublica.org/article/preet-bharara-fired-investigating-tom-price-hhs-stock-trading

    Former U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara, who was removed from his post by the Trump administration last week, was overseeing an investigation into stock trades made by the president’s health secretary, according to a person familiar with the office.

    Tom Price, head of the Department of Health and Human Services, came under scrutiny during his confirmation hearings for investments he made while serving in Congress. The Georgia lawmaker traded hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of shares in health-related companies, even as he voted on and sponsored legislation affecting the industry.

    Price testified at the time that his trades were lawful and transparent. Democrats accused him of potentially using his office to enrich himself. One lawmaker called for an investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission, citing concerns Price could have violated the STOCK Act, a 2012 law signed by President Obama that clarified that members of Congress cannot use nonpublic information for profit and requires them to promptly disclose their trades.

    The investigation of Price’s trades by the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York, which hasn’t been previously disclosed, was underway at the time of Bharara’s dismissal, said the person.

    • dshwa

      I’m betting Bharara passed on his notes to Schneiderman before he left though. NYSE falls under NYS AG jurisdiction as well.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        I was just wondering if Schneiderman could hire Bharara on as a special investigator. I have no idea what the process for that would be however.

        • dshwa

          I’m betting he could. NYS AG can hire the rest of the state’s attorneys​

    • JoeChristmas

      Drain the Swamp!

      • Rick Hill

        Then pave it, build offices and lease to lobbyists, bankers and lawyers

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Then, bury it under the impending asteroid strike.

    • BadKitty904
    • TJ Barke

      That’s what the entire administration is doing. Using their offices to enrich themselves.

      • Liberoid Ron

        And bury the evidence of their crimes.

  • Sardonicuss

    So I take it this the “commence your gibber gabbering” stage of the day? (A phrase I loved by the way)
    ….because..!!!
    Nah. I got nothin. Time for Movie and Wine!

  • Nightcrawler
    • MynameisBlarney

      Damn.

      That is soooo fucked up.

    • Panika MCD

      and in only the first one does he look like, “oh, shit. I just really fucked up.”

    • mancityRed6

      when your dad is a judge, things happen in your favor.

      • RobespierreHoo

        His dad was not a “judge”. His Dad was a former lowly magistrate in Virginia. These guys don’t have to be attorneys, and most aren’t. They set bond for petty misdemeanors, issue misdemeanor warrants, etc.When your jury happens to hale from Florida, and you shot a black man, who is dead, but was “viciously and without cause” kicking your ass with Skittles,things happen in your favor.

        • mancityRed6

          I take that back then. I just went with what I heard and now I am shamed.

          • RobespierreHoo

            Donald, is that YOU? It’s not even 3:00 a.m.

          • mancityRed6

            you shut your mouth
            i’m not even on the toilet

    • Marceline

      Again?!

      • Nightcrawler

        I don’t know about 2017, but last year he got another domestic violence charge,

    • Bill D. Burger

      And the BaggerCons and Rightie Fucktards still call the teenager a thug.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        He smoked the loco weed that one time, so… thug 4 life obviously.

        • Prof. T. Green Bastard

          There is a preponderance of middle-class white suburban mom thugs in my area. Curious.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s tough being the Real Victim.

      • Sonyacaguilar

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dd264c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !dd264c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs554MarketIndexGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dd264c:….,….

      • Maryannmmarks

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !da184c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !da184c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs474MarketCoachGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!da184c:….,……..

    • You know, with the right spray tan . . .

    • TJ Barke
      • Nightcrawler

        I am too, Cinderella. I am too.

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        Aren’t we all, Cindy?

    • Martini Ambassador

      Aw man, Turgid Love Muscle is gonna be bummed. He’s got a serious man-crush on ol’ pudgster Zimmerman.

      • Nightcrawler

        Ted Nugent?

        • mancityRed6

          it would be irresponsible not to speculate

      • Suse

        He does???

        • Martini Ambassador

          Oh yeah. When he’s not talking about greezy man-sex he’s railing on about “Traythug.” He’s only got two or three go-to themes.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    No pussyfootin’ around here – the “insults” wielded by these MRA deadenders would make an 11-year-old blush with shame.

  • 3FingerPete

    IF you have time to browse Return of Kings you have time to make my sandwich, which is a metaphor for sex.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Really? I am shocked to hear that.

    • I think I would rather browse the return of the Kings of Leon site.

  • Martini Ambassador
  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    This has been a week and as soon as I can get out of here I’m going home, avoiding bars like my life depended on it and trying to get effed up enough to forget who the ‘president’ is for at least a few hours.

    Be safe tonight, I kind of like some of you all. Maybe.

    • Panika MCD

      they give Tsarina Short Fingers suppositories for that. so that should make you sleep better!

    • BadKitty904
      • Sardonicuss

        Me in Boulder on Pearl street.

      • Suse

        Love this guy. I want to be a kitty in my next life.

      • Red Bird Ω

        If I had a body full of smooth fur I’d sit like that too.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        ! How I missed the paps being that close to me while taking that picture, I will never know. Oh right, the non sober thing.

    • bookish

      Masher.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        You know it.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Flatterer!

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        I do try.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You silver-tongued devil.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        You’ll see. One day I’ll marry all of Wonkette. That’s the future the liberals want.

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, the sweetie’s home, so it’s time for supper. Ta!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Newlyweds. Geez….

      • BadKitty904

        Hey!!!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I said that with love. Honest.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Roosh reminds me of the kinda guy who sits around listening to Joe Rogan podcasts all day long. Also, cool beard, bro.

    You not only have a beautiful face, Robyn, but you’re incredibly witty and funny. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you. I know you already know that, just saying many of us out here also think so.

    ETA: If I offended anyone with the Joe Rogan podcast joke or those with good looking beards and the beard comment, please accept – Roosh is the kind of person who watched Happy Gilmore as a teenager and thought Shooter McGavin was the guy he wanted to grow up to be. He reminds me of that guy.

    • Panika MCD

      he does.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Did you know that Shooter McGavin eats pieces of shit for breakfast?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    When does the Korean War restart? I have to set my DVR for armageddon.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      They have to re-do the CGI from the original release and get it formatted to 16:9 before they can get the BluRay out.

    • Mary Sandoras

      As soon as Rex Tillerson wakes up from his nap?

    • FDRliberal

      Airhead MSNBC commentator Greta VanSomethingOrOther, whose primary goal every night is to attempt to normalize the insane Trump, just told us that it’s a ‘good’ thing that we have Trump at the helm when it comes to North Korea. Because having two fascist infants with nukes is better than just one.

      • Panika MCD

        “Greta Van TookAPhotoWithEvanThatOneTimeAtTheRNC” or GTFO. she is only valuable in her relation to Wonkette and that is the least amount of degrees of separation.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Kim Jong-Un vs Kim Jong-Orange. Place your bets! You can collect your winnings when you crawl out from under the rubble.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’ve missed MASH.

      • Liberoid Ron

        Yeah, but THIS much?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Not enough to want it to be re-lived. Though I do have a love for Alan Alda.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Half of my sense of absurd humor comes from him (the other half from Monty Python). A national treasure.

          • MynameisBlarney

            *internet fist bump*

          • WomanInThePersistence

            True, that.

          • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

            I wonder how many people know that he once starred in a horror flick: The Mephisto Waltz.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I know that he’s been married to the same woman for fifty+ years, likes science, is smart and nice, and also too a cutie-pie.

          • oooo I think I saw that actually. Did not realize he was in it.
            But then I watch horror flicks like…
            https://thumb1.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/469171/215588227/stock-photo-adorable-little-girl-covering-her-face-215588227.jpg

          • therblig

            To Kill a Clown (1972) – A young hippie couple rent a secluded cabin on the beach in an attempt to re-connect with each other and save their marriage. Unfortunately, the man they rented the cabin from is a military-brat sociopath (Alan Alda) with two dogs more vicious than his temper.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcmW_5SCXUU

        • MynameisBlarney

          Right?
          It was damn good…but not THAT damn good.

      • Panika MCD

        when I saw this, I first thought you were talking about Tsarina Tic Tacs, Bannon Rasputin and Tillerson Tin Man playing MASH to figure out who to start a war with, how, which other countries they’ll pull into the mix, and what Tsarina Tic Tacs will ride in on when he declares himself victorious.

        • Thaumaturgist

          I feel Tillerson looks like the lion. The one without a brain.

          • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

            Back in 1996, my class attended a showing of The Wizard of Oz in a nearby theater. One of my classmates said that the scarecrow, tin man and lion would make good politicians, because the tin man has no heart like Pat Buchanan, the scarecrow has no brains like Bob Dole, and the lion has no courage like Steve Forbes.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s not how you play MASH.

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        I’ve only seen the movie. Robert Altman apparently didn’t like the series because it didn’t address politics.

    • Panika MCD

      like it HAS to be Korea???

    • JMP

      ‘Cause suicide is painless, it brings on many changes…

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        Robert Altman’s son wrote that song.

    • RobespierreHoo

      12:00, blinking.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      shouldn’t be long

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    Okay. Time for a little OT story. A while ago I bought a ridiculous bathroom scale, sold by Mary Lou Retton, that only tells you if you’ve lost weight and how much without revealing the actual ghastly weight? If you stand on the scales you hear a little fanfare and Mary Lou Retton’s chirpy voice: “Please! Step on the platform!” (It’s actually kind of nice, when you lose weight there’s the sound of crowds cheering.) However I soon realized I wasn’t hearing all that much “cheering” and needed to actually face the awful truth and got a regular scale which has endlessly depressed me, but now I go to the gym. Mary Lou got stashed in my office closet.
    SO. I’m here at my desk, trying to write, and the gardener’s working outside so Silly Moustache Kitty bravely hid in the closet, as he does. So just now, I hear from the depths of the closet, a little fanfare and “Please! Step on the platform!” Moustache must have accidentally stepped on the scales. I’m dying laughing.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      OH MY GOD, Moustache came out sheepishly, and then, just now, I HEAR IT AGAIN and his BROTHER comes out! The two of them!

      • Panika MCD

        that made me laugh.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Mustache stuck the landing, though.

    • Panika MCD

      I’m now imagining you yelling “Silly Mustache Kiiittty! here, kitty mustache silly kitty! dinner silly! mustache kittyyyy?!” out your back door.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        We actually call him Buddy, because he’s just a Buddy, and his handsome brother is Gus. But while Gus is genteel and brings us his pink mouse (always the pink mouse, not the other three thousand toy mice), Buddy endlessly chases his tail, then pounces on Gus, scares himself, flares his tail out, then chases it some more, so we also call him “The Idiot.” But they are both the best boys.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          All pets are the best. Yours sound like they are hilarious.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            They really are. We never stop laughing. What joy these little creatures bring us!

        • therblig

          we had a Gus. he showed up the day after we closed on our house – i got home first and ms. blig had the only key, so i waited on the steps. suddenly this big grey and white guy shows up, starts meowing and rubbing against my legs. later, he appeared in the back yard, dropping in from the wall to show he could get along with our dogs. so, we brought him in and named him Gus. a couple years after that, he got and was gone for 3 frantic days. ms. blig went house to house around the block and when she described him to a neighbor at the furthest corner of the block, the neighbor replied, “oh, you mean Steve? I wondered what happened to him”. it never dawned on us why a stray would be so well fed.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Oh my God THAT IS HYSTERICAL

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, I totally feel you. We are saving Mr Fantastic, our inaugural roomba, for the kid (she needs a new wheel assembly, does Mr Fantastic) but we forgot to deprogram her, so the day after we inaugurated the new roomba Mr Fantastic made a break for it from inside a box on top of a wardrobe.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        HAHAHA that’s hilarious.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Poor trapped Roomba!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          we’re feeling bad, but the kid is wanting to spend her post-graduation summer with her gentlemen friend, so I figure Ms Mr Fantastic will have an exciting summer.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Did Moustache Kitteh come shooting out of the closet with his tail on fire as my scaredy kitteh would if something in the closet did that when he stepped on it?

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        He did kind of beezer out of there. He does another funny thing where he LEAPS to attack his brother, who almost literally seems to roll his eyes, and then SKITTERS away with his tail fluffed out while we say “Buddy, please, NOTHING IS HAPPENING, it’s just YOU”

    • Lambsendbeds

      I wonder who bankrolled manufacturing that scale? I can’t imagine that the billionaires on “Shark Tank” would have greenlighted it. Sheesh! I’d probably throw it through my bathroom window – and I don’t have a bathroom window.

      • Not gonna lie, totally would buy one if I passed it in a store.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Aw, no, it is perfect for us fatties. It doesn’t speak up unless you step on it–that’s why it was so funny when the cats activated it. And some of us are so horrified and dispirited by our weight, we can’t bear to weigh ourselves to see how much we weigh, but we would really like to know if we’ve lost any weight, so I think it would be quite popular in a certain segment. And the chirpy voice was kind of funny. Very well meaning.

  • Jenny

    It has been a hectic day. Forgot it was a drinkoliday and trying to get dinner out during spring break and sxsw! Haaaaaaangry! Million people lines, so haaaaaaangry!

    • Sardonicuss

      Blurggggghhhh!

    • Panika MCD

      shouldn’t it be “drinkiday”? I mean, your version seems to have too many letters and I’m only on my second beer.

      • Jenny

        That was my first fusion but decided holiday was better. I am sober and grouchy. Haaaaangry!

        • Panika MCD

          come to SpiderHouse! the crowds are killing me even though there are some friends in here. I’m a bit more “GTFO” this year. I think it has to do with the constant rallies at the Pink Dome this year. they’re just NEVERENDING.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Um, I don’t think I want to go to a place called the Spider House for anything. I can just imagine the appetizers… Delicate Spider Eggs on Toast Points,

          • Panika MCD

            they’ve got pretty good queso. and I’d like you to think about the names of the places you frequent and try again!

    • 3FingerPete

      That sounds like a perfect storm of drunken vomit and fender dents.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      BREATHE!

    • Red Bird Ω

      How can you handle Austin during sxsw? Is the self-importance level as high as previous years?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Bwahaha! I went to an Applebee’s in Lakewood and the only two people in the entire place where me, an old guy who never shut up and the staff. Why Applebee’s. I was tired of drivin’ and lookin’. Kinda meh, but my normal diner closes at 2.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The obligatory River Dance at the White House ended the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations.
    Everyone was surprised Carson was awake and that Christie could keep up.
    But Wowzer’

    http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/112/526/41c.gif

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not enough glitter and redheads

      • Bill D. Burger

        And a few pee hookers would have been sensational. Perhaps Sarah could drink lots of V8 celery juice!

      • snark-lurker

        and they forgot to shave their legs FFS

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s disturbing.

      • Gregory Brown

        But also too, satisfying.

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/get-there/wp/2017/03/17/in-court-filing-trump-administration-calls-the-structure-of-the-cfpb-unconstitutional/?utm_term=.ea089b8c4005

    The Justice Department will not support the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau in a monumental court battle over whether the structure of the federal consumer watchdog is unconstitutional, according to court documents filed Friday.

    The department also argued that the president should be able to remove the director of the independent agency at will, a shift that consumer advocates say could threaten the independent nature of the agency.

    Under the Dodd-Frank Act that created the agency, the director can only be removed for cause — setting a high bar for a president who wants to put new leadership in place. That approach was called into question last fall when a federal appeals court ruled in support of PHH Corporation, a mortgage lender suing the CFPB to challenge an enforcement action.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Gee, there’s a surprise.

    • DainBramage

      Lemee guess, tRump wants Bernie Madoff to be the new head.

    • TJ Barke

      Government by plutocrats for plutocrats.

  • FDRliberal

    Hirsute Roosh the Doosh can go fuck himself with a splintery two by four.

    • mancityRed6

      “no”
      -splintery two by four

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    I notice that these yahoos have no argument, so they resort to comments about people’s looks. I bet that if you mentioned ad hominem attacks to them, their heads would fall off in confusion.

    • mancityRed6

      and like all alt right nazis, they are not the epitome of the master race

  • DerpyGurdyMan

    Open Thread-a-me…

    [url=https://imgflip.com/i/1lmhy1][img]https://i.imgflip.com/1lmhy1.jpg[/img][/url][url=https://imgflip.com/memegenerator]via Imgflip Meme Generator[/url]

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Thanks, Cap’n.

  • Ilgattomorte

    My entry into the Kings Wiki “About” page:

    “Kings Wiki is a wiki about masculinity and nationalism. It is place where men with very little dicks can come to feel better about themselves. It is a place of camaraderie for basement dwellers everywhere.

    Here we can revel in our Alpha-Man-ness, knowing that we are truly better than those who are better than us. In this place a true Alpha-Male can take an imaginary pill and find freedom from the women, who through unnecessary education and learning, have forced themselves to reject us. But, no matter, for here Alpha-Males can come together and rejoice.

    Here, true manly men know the truth! We need no women! We have each other, and we can suckle each other throughout all of those dark lonely nights without so much as as a “by your leave” from a women.

    For we are free!
    We are men!

    We stand alone, but, most importantly, we have one hand that can crush a Volvo (of course the other can’t tear paper, but that’s only the unfortunate result of continuous repetitive activity).”

    • MynameisBlarney

      SSOIDH!

    • Panika MCD

      link?

      • Ilgattomorte
      • Ilgattomorte

        Ooops…
        … Senpai noticed us.

        • Panika MCD

          we should just keep changing the page. I just added “and remaining virgins together.” to the page as it is now.

    • mancityRed6

      that’s a little into the mgtow territory there.
      but I like it, especially the volvo part.

    • Juan de Fuca

      We should have rings made! As a symbol of our…hold up…

      Wife just asked me if I pulled in the garbage cans when I came home. Fucking HOA puts a letter on your door if they aren’t pulled from the curb five minutes after Waste Management empties them. BBL.

    • Left Coast Tom

      You wouldn’t also be the one who added the following to Robyn’s entry, would you?

      Some jerk was dumb enough to educate Robyn, giving her opinions and
      thoughts and stuff, which everyone knows is VERY unattractive in a
      woman. if only no women were ever educated, especially Robyn, Roosh
      would want to bang all of them. Which is the dream of every woman ever.
      Poor Robyn, now she’ll never have sex with a basement dwelling
      misogynist :(

      • Ilgattomorte

        Nope. Not me. Actually, they already killed my entry.

        • Left Coast Tom

          They also reverted Robyn’s entry to the original nonsense – except they added a link back to this page!

          • I kinda wonder if we out number them.
            Should be a scientific experiment, of sorts. For Science.

          • Left Coast Tom

            The picture is broken though, no image.

          • snork. Internet. How does it work?

          • Left Coast Tom

            Now the text I quoted above is back.

          • Jamoche

            There’s now a “wonkette-approved version” with a link back to here.
            http://en.kingswiki.com/wiki/Robyn_Pennacchia/Wonkette-approved_version

          • Left Coast Tom

            Every Single Page includes a “Senpai Noticed Us” link pointing back to here.

          • Jamoche

            Huh. If that was meant to unleash the trolls on us, it doesn’t seem to be working.

          • Left Coast Tom

            They seem to be editing away the more prominent stuff and leaving the rest – my “kicked in the nuts” addition to their New Zealand entry has remained up for, I’d guess, an hour now.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, dammit. And I’m all outta hymns.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            I have GOT to get something done about my vision. I read that as “hymens.”

          • Dazza

            Welp. Time to dig out my troll-proof boots, then.

          • ehhhh do not wanna deal with MGtowpillpopper whatever trolls. I already got one of those.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Oh dear. Where?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We are Devo!

      Fixed that for you.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      ‘…Here we can revel in our penis envy of real Alpha-Man-ness,….” *fixed

  • dlemex

    These pills sound better than the extension that masks Twittler’s photos with cats…
    https://youtu.be/QXUlhT3-r0c

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey Robyn, saw you piling on dumbass Ewok, son of Erickson. Holy shit, that guy has no clue about Christianity…

    • Lord Jim

      He shares that with far too many “Christians”.

  • Espadron

    “(Awesomed it the fuck up)”
    Lots of Laughter or LOL

  • Red Bird Ω

    In honor of St. Patrick we should chase all of the snakes out of Washington.

  • bluicebank

    And here I was all set to congratulate you on getting an entry on Wiki’s “Return of the King,” figuring you did something cool regarding the last book/movie of J.R.R. Tolkien’s trilogy.

    Now I’m just pissed that there’s a Wiki thing that has nothing to do with Aragorn son of Arathorn, aka Elessar, the Elfstone, Dúnadain, heir of Isildur Elendil’s son of Gondor.

    I hate orcs.

    I’m of half a mind to edit the entire page and link to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Return_of_the_King

    • I was thinking of leaving a yelp thing that went “Terrible. Was expecting Kings, ended up with 40 year old virgins with no jobs. Sad. Would not return again”

    • snark-lurker

      i may be half orc

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’m the other half.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Go for it.

      • bluicebank

        On it.

        Oops. Banned.

  • I like when wonkette notices a thing that just happens to be true.
    Also, pretty creepy there, RooshVee, changing photos to black and white like that? I mean….stalker creepy even? Certainly not gonna get you laid. I suggest not being a giant douche.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I clicked on his Twitter profile thing. Any dude that has “pickup artist” in his Twitter profile is a douche. That’s a science fact.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I like science. And this is very true.

        • Juan de Fuca

          It’s at least a fact of life, fact. If my daughter would’ve brought home some boy like that, I would’ve quit my job, gave up the house and started day drinking. In fact, I even told her something along those lines when she was 13, 14 or so. She was probably eight.

          “You wanna give up on life and go for a guy who disrespects girls, I’m gonna give up too. This is a team thing.”

          She never brought home a boy like that.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    zombie eyed Hooiser on Chris Hayes. Oy.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Alright, guildies…uh…I mean folks that are in my party…fuck…

    I’mma go play some DDO…

    Happy Snake Herding/Green Beer Day!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I have no idea what DDO means, but I hope you have fun.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Dungeons & Dragons Online.
        And thanks.

        There’s a big update apparently, new race and class, quests and raids.

        It’s going to take a while before I can log in, unfortunately for yous guys.

        That means I get to bless you all with my witty wit and the like.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I, for one, am pleased to hear that.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Antonin Dvorak

      #SilverLining.

      • weejee

        Depth charging of the ghey whales begins in 3, 2, 1…

        / Hey the Navy has to practice.

    • Greyhame

      And think of all the Medicare savings!

  • Rick Hill
    • Rick Hill

      Btw. Some folks are defending trump, they heard that Obama paid for a lot of his expenses and are claiming trump pays for his weekends in Fl

      • Villago Delenda Est
        • Panika MCD

          do they ever give us one? or do they just say “believe me, there’s information that’s going to come out, just you wait!”?

        • Rick Hill

          That’s what I asked for. I haven’t even heard this as any official line, I think it’s just someone trying to cover for trump

          • Left Coast Tom

            Did the person you asked understand what the word “citation” meant, or were you offered some derelict car from the early 1980s?

      • Yeaaahhhhh some folks are idiots, also, too.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Bull!!! AND Shit!!! Trumps one of those grease-stain business lizards who makes other people and entities pay him to use on own shit! (see, 2016 presidential campaign grift)

      • Left Coast Tom

        I actually put some numbers together regarding a Trump golf weekend at his own “resort”. The money each of these weekends costs would buy me $30 wine for 300 years, assuming one bottle per day.

        • If Trump’s gonna be President for 300 years, I’m going to need a lot more than one.

      • folderol

        I hear Trump is going to give his presidential salary to charity. Previously he said he wouldn’t collect it. But this time I believe him.

      • Shibusa

        Trump doesn’t pay for anything. Never has.

        • “M”

          There are articles from women who dated him (after he pestered them) in the 70s that corroborate your claim.

          He would take them to dinner at expensive restaurants and then stick them with the check.

  • Dazza

    Brilliant. I love that Return of Kings Wiki says: ‘the country of Australia “is known for having highly
    masculinised women, possibly as a result of its origins as a dumping
    ground for the dregs of British society.”’

    Translation: Australian women knocked back any and all of my attempts to get them into bed. They mocked me for my douchiness and poor grooming, and said that they found me disgusting and would punch me in the face except that would ruin their new nail wraps. And then they told all their friends at the bar – and they laughed at me, too.

    • Panika MCD

      but pretty much all women do that. I don’t feel Australian.

      • Gotter try hahder, Bruce!

      • Dazza

        C’mon over for a visit – it sounds as if you’d fit right in!

        • Panika MCD

          I meant that women always reject RooshV. but I’d love to visit if I wasn’t a poors.

          • Dazza

            Yeah. *sad face* I wish you could come here, too.

          • Panika MCD

            you could come hang with me at the Pink Dome!

          • Dazza

            What’s that?

          • Panika MCD

            the TX Capitol. it’s made out of pink granite.

          • Interjection: I get so much amusement that the capitol building of Texas is pink.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s got pink marble inside also too. I think the only place you can get the two things are Granite Shoals, TX and Marble Falls, TX. they built a rail line just to transport the material to the site in Austin. true story.

            EDIT: you can get pink granite elsewhere. but this kind had magical properties or something.

          • Dazza

            I doubt that I would make it past Homeland Security at the airport.

          • Panika MCD

            come on. you’re from one of the “white” countries!

          • Dazza

            But my politics is ‘pink’ by Repubidick standards.

          • Panika MCD

            pink or pinko?

          • Dazza

            Both, I guess. I support LGTB rights and I support the Labor Party.

          • Panika MCD

            well, pink here is slightly Republican.

          • Dazza

            Labor’s color here is red – hilarious, yes?

          • Panika MCD

            yeah. they still call suspected commies “pinkos” here. it’s a wonder they haven’t noticed themis yet.

    • Left Coast Tom

      As a Californian I’m disappointed they don’t have a page about us. They do have a page about New Zealand, saying the women there are the “worst in the Western world”, which I’m taking as a sign that one of these douchebags was kicked in the nuts there.

      • Dazza

        Almost certainly.

        These are the Black Ferns, New Zealand’s awesome women’s Rugby Union team. You don’t mess with Kiwi women. Ever.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2bcbcf48b331c2e24a0563ea9f9db6b8ccdb88c828b70bb7350a534d239eb44f.jpg

      • uhm…is New Zealand considered the western world? I mean I know, nominally, it is all like owned or protectorates by the pale faces but….really?

        • Left Coast Tom

          “East” and “West” are always relative, for example, when I visited there last month I flew westward (and significantly southward) from San Francisco. So, by the Left Coast Tom Meridian…it’s the west. By the Greenwich Meridian…

  • Gregory Brown

    Robyn, you are beautiful, and the fact that the basement-living tiny dicks on Return of Kings resent and fear you is a badge of honor.

  • weejee

    Nice lede photo Robyn. No. 4 son lives about 5 miles from there.

    And in the also and too department did I miss much while I was up in Anchorage trying to clear ice from Ted Steven’s frozen Intertubes, or interview for a rust job – being this olde one forgets. Did tRump declare war on Little Kim, grab PM Merkle durch die Muschi? So much news I’m sure.

    • Panika MCD

      Anchor-town does have the internets.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He caught serious shade from both the PM of Ireland and Merkel. Also Ryan and Pence made asses of themselves. Same old, same old.

  • Rick Hill

    Wow. Googles does indeed turn up information about Robyn. It does not, however, turn up anything related to me when I googles Rick Hill. Ot but I remember reading back about 16 years ago that Austrailians had a term for something that turned up only one return on a search.(Goglesnafus or something, knowing Australian’s penchant for oddifying the language) I googled my grandfather’s name and it actually turned up one result. Wasn’t for my grandfather but still, don’t think that ever happened again.

    • I have never googled myself. Do not ever plan to. I either suffer from a serious lack of curiosity or I am really that lazy.

      • Dazza

        Same. I’d rather be here.

        • I knew a lady who googled herself constantly. Was ALWAYS checking to see where her instatwatters and book place ratings or whatever were. One day she was all harumph, bad rating! And I was all look on the bright side, 687522 is better than 786522!
          She did not appreciate the perkup

          • Dazza

            Gawd. Who has the time and energy for that?

      • bluicebank

        I have, but it’s no good since mine is a common name, and others by my name are famous for something or another.

        • Reddishrabbit

          Last time I googled myself (year plus) a long past Senator from Ohio was the first full page of results. Oddly he was the black sheep of the family, Democratic-Republican in a Federalist family

          • bluicebank

            Could be worse. Imagine being named George Tierney.

  • Greyhame

    I don’t know anything about these red or blue pills, but I can tell you that the brown acid that is circulating around us is not specifically too good.

    • I think the blue pills are the ones that give you boners and the red ones are the ones that make sure you never get laid in a bajillion years.

      • Greyhame

        Oh now I remember, the red pill flushes you down the toilet, so you end up with an aura of desperation and raw sewage clinging to your soul for the rest of your natural life.

      • Panika MCD

        what happens if you accidentally take both?

        also too: what happens when you mix them with the brown acid?

        • Well then you turn purple and have fallen for the gay agenda.
          With the acid, it is the gay agenda, but on acid.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Make sure your estate is in order…

          • Panika MCD

            is RooshV’s mom’s basement what you would call an “estate”??

          • Jonny On Maui

            Hers. Not his…

            I’d bet he doesn’t inherit either…

          • Panika MCD

            that’s because she’s got to outlive his ass.

        • bluicebank

          The color wheel says you get Purple Dot acid.

  • Jenny

    You guys Texas is home to so many Irish Mexicans! I learned new things!

    Still haaaaaangry. Finally got a table. Waiting on food. :/

    • Rick Hill

      Bets they’re immigrants who don’t pay taxes on their pot of gold?

      • Jenny

        Rainbows are fantastic tax havens.

        • Rick Hill

          End of the rainbow is the wee folks off shore holding company

    • Today we are all Irish. Except the Scottish.

      • nightmoth

        Hey, hey! My Irish ancestors were REALLY Scots who got shipped to Ulster and thought of themselves as Irish after a couple of generations. Were allied with a Highlands clan that bucked the English king. They were Ulster Scots–left for the New World and happily killed Brits during the Revolution.

        • Panika MCD

          I have some of that on my mom’s side. dad’s side has a ton of Black Irish. we’re from County Cork on that side.

          • nightmoth

            Cool. When we spent time in Galway, we saw the Spanish Gate, dating from the 1500s, and people told us the Black Irish were Irish who married with Spanish, who already had Moorish blood. Spain and Ireland were heavy trading partners back then. God, I love miscegenation!

          • Panika MCD

            it’s trur except for the marry part. they invaded Western Ireland like the Moroccans had done to them. the Spanish Moors were hated for what their amcestors had done, but they weren’t too picky about their sailors. and that is why TSA thinks I’m a threat.

    • Juan de Fuca
      • He’s fightin too! That makes him FIGHTING little bit Irish

        • Juan de Fuca

          That’s right. Should be a good one. Chavez Jr. is a good fighter and big. Canelo’s going to have his hands full.

          My wife has a not-so-secret crush on Canelo but it’s cool. He’s a good looking young dude.

    • nightmoth

      There was a contingent of Irish who fought on the side of the Mexicans when they were trying to keep what became Texas. I love the Irish!

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Exhaustive internet search produces answer to the burning question:
    Robyn – horseface or dimpled cutie?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/40971826664822daaa4e477ffd86c36b5723430f61f5849a488a73b7b33f1697.jpg

  • Shoto

    For those of you who do podcasting, Bob Cesca’s show from yesterday is a hoot. Enjoy.

    https://www.bobcesca.com/the-bob-cesca-show-presented-by-bubblegenius-com-31617/

  • Jenny

    Oh you guys my brother left! I had to pay him but I would have had to pay money for eviction anyways.

    Oh and he totally lied. My parents still had a car and their crap extended stay suite they live in. He has a place to go. He just doesn’t want to because they have no internet.

    Not my problem. He left a bunch of stinky crap in the room. I never realized just how badly he stunk. This weekend is cleaning, sanitizing, and painting the room and bathroom he used. So much work. Worth it.

    Now if only I could get some food and booze, PLUCKERS!

    • ZOMG. He fucking LIED TO YOU ABOUT YOUR MOM???
      What the fuck

      • Liberoid Ron

        My brother and sister did that to me so they could split the estate between them when she died.

        • MynameisBlarney

          My younger sis did something equally as fucked up.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Sorry to hear that man. Family can have a way of hurting you in ways that never quite heal.

        • Dazza

          I’m so sorry. That sucks.

          • Liberoid Ron

            TY. Still nags at me when the food budget starts scraping zero, but I’d’ve just blown my share paying off the daughters’ student loans or something.

      • Jenny

        He told my mom I was mad at her so she wouldn’t call.

        My step dad called me and was like hey so I know your brother needs to leave, could you maybe get him some gas so he can come up here? I asked my dad about their situation and he shocked. None of his bs was true. He was guilting me so I wouldn’t make him leave.

        I went to the atm, got the money. Told brother he had 8 hours to get out because bf is on his way with a gun. He wasn’t going to get away with that big ass lie. He said shit ok and left.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Change the locks asap. He sounds like the type who had a key made…

      • Jenny

        Was done as he was leaving.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Good!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      What Jonny says. And congtats.

    • cmd resistor

      I have a wingnut brother who is always yapping about bootstraps and all that shit. I guess he forgets about when he lived off his libtard sister rent free several years back.

      • Panika MCD

        how many times have you reminded him so far?

        • cmd resistor

          I am actually too polite and wimpy to do it. But we don’t have a whole lot of contact. He posts stupid shit on FB. He unfriended me for a while. We have an elderly mother and occasionally I inform him about how she’s doing as he can’t drag his sorry ass over there to visit. Oops, this will turn into a vent session. I do get tired of him ranting about fake libtard compassion when he doesn’t even visit his own mom.

          • Panika MCD

            I’d not do him any favors at all. not even mom updates.

          • See, I am not at all nice.
            When my brother was ranting about that very thing on the face book, I dropped a little note right on his wall that “Funny, I live 2 days from mom, and you live 20 minutes, and yet I see her more often than you do. Compassion, huh?”

          • cmd resistor

            It may come tp that

    • Panika MCD

      I’d have dropped him off at the Rusk State Hospital.

  • tehbaddr

    This is a badge of Honer! Well done Robyn!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Exclusive: Immigration judges headed to 12 U.S. cities to speed deportations (Reuters)

    The U.S. Justice Department is developing plans to temporarily reassign immigration judges from around the country to 12 cities to speed up deportations of illegal immigrants who have been charged with crimes, according to two administration officials.

    How many judges will be reassigned and when they will be sent is still under review, according to the officials, but the Justice Department has begun soliciting volunteers for deployment.

    The targeted cities are New York; Los Angeles; Miami; New Orleans; San Francisco; Baltimore, Bloomington, Minnesota; El Paso, Texas; Harlingen, Texas; Imperial, California; Omaha, Nebraska and Phoenix, Arizona. They were chosen because they are cities which have high populations of illegal immigrants with criminal charges, the officials said.

    • They were chosen because they are all big, rich blue dog cities that thumb their noses at us.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        We’re the “us” now? I thought we were the “them” ….

        • Naw, I was speaking for the current justice department. Translating their doublespeak.
          Which I think I will henceforth call injustice department.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s because all of them already have immigration courts.

      • Left Coast Tom

        So, basically, Trump is further stimulating our local economies by sending well-paid judges and court staff here?

    • Rick Hill

      This will also be claimed as a money saver by trump. For others the wheels of justice must move quickly, trump hisself lerves dragging a case in court to bury his opponent in legal fees

    • Dazza

      Holy fuck.

    • Shoto

      Buncha fascists.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Until their landscapers are deported … then, not so much. THis won’t end well.

    • Panika MCD

      with the exception of Imperial, all those places already have immigration courts with multiple judges. Imperial has a court, but no seated judge…they do have a court administrator, though.

      https://www.justice.gov/eoir/eoir-immigration-court-listing

      • I think this is new fascism code for “We’re going to take over this for you, thanks”

  • MynameisBlarney

    Feck!

    Damn DDO update is MASSIVE.

    It’s gonna take like…figuratively, a gazzillion years.

    GAH!

  • Ok, so we did a basketballing bracket thing at the work place. I did not fare very well.
    Granted I picked teams like “Well, did not go for the other Kansas so I will pick this one” and “Smoo? LOLZ BEST NAME EVER, they are going all the way!”

    However, I DID pick Xavier (because X men) and Northwestern (because I would like to go north and western, forever) and they won. So there ya go.

    • mancityRed6

      don’t ever pick KU for anything
      unless it’s 2008

      • Think I picked the other Kansas, not sure. At first I wanted Wake Forest because it sounded like the name of some romantic hero from a melodramatic historical romance.
        But they didn’t even get in, so I went with a Kansas

        • mancityRed6

          oh dog, don’t ever pick K state
          Villanova or Kentucky are always safe bets.

          • I did pick Villanova because Philly (I actually graduated HS in their basketballing gym. I do not know why, but that is where we held it. Very odd).

          • mancityRed6

            ‘nova is never a bad pick. always a dark horse and they always surprise.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        Hey my nerdy nephew studied drama there so BACK OFF MAN.

        • mancityRed6

          Lawrence resident ’04-’05, ’07-’17.
          but I never walked up the hill.

  • mancityRed6

    sportsball
    I will give UC Davis this, they didn’t give up.
    Also, the coach’s son scored a three

    • tehbaddr

      happy day

  • Persistent Demme

    Not everybody has the “luck” of the Irish!
    Fight the famine!
    http://www1.wfp.org/

    • mancityRed6

      I read a book about what they did during the famine…hayzeus kristo. I cannot even come close to imagining.

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      At our St. Patty’s Day-themed meeting today, there were drawings for which the prizes were bars of Irish Spring soap, a set of themed souvenirs, and a six-pack of Guinness. The guy who provided the prizes joked that winning isn’t a matter of skill, but the “luck o’ the Irish”.

      On a more serious note, he did note that some of his ancestors immigrated to the US from Ireland in the early 20th Century, and encountered some anti-Irish discrimination while here, like “No Irish Need Apply”. A slight jab at Trump, maybe?

      • Persistent Demme

        I used to live in England, (I know, I know), and the Irish there were always shocked by the American take on their culture on St. Patrick’s Day.

        • Moebym the Persistent Returner

          As anyone would when their culture is reduced into humiliating stereotypes.

          • True story time: So back in college we used to hang with the foreigners because we didn’t mind their fuurnness so much. Some of them were Irish (lads, all, no ladies).
            This one liked to get rip snorting drunk and run about campus butt nekky except for a tool belt, with the flag of Ireland about his neck like a cape. Called himself captain Ireland.
            On the plus side, I got to hear a shit load of really good music.

          • Persistent Demme

            Yeah, it’s all fun and games for Americans.

            “It’s not an American story, it’s an Irish one.”
            Shmaltzy but great scene with not too much of Brad Pitt’s questionable Irish accent:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89_3ned_qOM

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner

    When your dream home is more than you will be able to afford in 30 lifetimes…

    Well, we can’t always get what we want, right?

    • Dazza

      I know. Oh, yes – I know.

  • Shoto

    DiFi held an impromptu presser today. The money shot:

    “Feinstein was also asked by one protester about Trump’s business connections and how the president might be removed from office.

    “We have a lot of people looking at this, technical people,” she said. “And I think he is going to get himself out.” (In other words, she intimated that he’d voluntarily leave office.)

    For those who live in California, now is the time to put pressure on DiFi as she’s up for reelection next year.

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/essential/la-pol-ca-essential-politics-updates-sen-dianne-feinstein-talks-with-1489787037-htmlstory.html

    • puredog

      I’ve been watching that worm, DIFI, for forty years. She will do whatever it takes to survive. “Follow the DIFI” could be a good approach.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I’m actually pleasantly surprised, she’s rarely bothered by police overreach, but here we are.

      • Shoto

        She needs to be pushed hard on the Gorsuch nomination.

    • Persistent Demme

      She’s such a DINO, that when Arnold was briefly thinking of challenging her as an Independent, I thought, he could win.
      But now he says he won’t run, and wants to concentrate on redistricting.
      (He says.)

      • Left Coast Tom

        Perhaps unfortunately, the only remotely close scare she’s had statewide, with emphasis on “remote”, was from Michael Huffington in 1994.

        Up until the last few years she’s been good on environmental issues. She’s still good on air quality and land conservation issues, but she sucks on water issues.

  • Lizzietish81
  • Lizzietish81
    • The Wanderer

      “It’s Beelzebub the Clown!”

  • Apple Scruff

    Mick Mulvaney is the coldest motherfucker I’ve ever seen behind a microphone.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Hes a rat bastard who needs to go to prison for embezzlement. Fucking sociopath…

      • Apple Scruff

        Right? I’ve lost any respect I had for RoguePotusStaff after this Tweet:

        https://twitter.com/RoguePOTUSStaff/status/842496609376256002

        • Uhm. He said that feeding people is a waste of money.
          That does NOT sound intelligent, or competent, but the opposite of that.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            I think they’re commenting on how he presented himself and his information, not the content.

          • So basically he did not trip over his own dick and used actual grown up sentences.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          WHAT? Yeah, that’s what Trump is lacking alright… a really good Nazi to take “leadership” in sending people to the death camps.

          Fuck that asshole.

        • HazooToo

          That was the most tone deaf tweet they’ve ever made. I understand they were talking about the basic functions of “leadership” without considering morals or ethics, but there’s no fucking way in hell you could lead ANYthing if your people think you’re a scum-sucking asshole, and they should fucking realize that before praising it.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I know I’m going to take flak but with that thick beard El Rooshbo looks like he’s fixing to join the Al Sadr terrorist militia…isnt it appropriate that his views on many things mirror terrorists?

  • mancityRed6

    you know what I don’t have?
    coffee for in the morning.
    it will be a cold day in hell without coffee

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      No coffee for the morning? A horror I cannot comprehend.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’d never survive the withdrawals…

      • mancityRed6

        thank dog for the target so close

    • HogeyeGrex

      I generally try to stick with no morning, myself, then have coffee in the afternoon.

      • mancityRed6

        try waking up at 4ish AM for the past almost 6 years and see what that does for you.
        yeah, even on the weekends.
        it’s because you get tired at 9 and the whole process begins anew.

        • HogeyeGrex

          I know that drill. I am very bad at it. My sympathies.

          • mancityRed6

            I spent 4 years on third shift, which is why I don’t eat breakfast.
            I should have eaten and ready for bed an hour ago but sportsball and apt cleaning got in the way.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Third shift at the salt mines was the best! No meetings, no management of the fucked up day shift kind. Just do your job and be gone before the assholes made it in.

          • mancityRed6

            I never read so many books. And I also smoked a little.

          • mancityRed6

            it helped that I was buying from the second shift supervisor

    • Amy!

      I actually have a bag of frozen beans in the freezer, just in case disaster strikes. I’m supposed to use ’em up and replace ’em every once in a while, but I think they’re like three or four years old at this point. Don’t care. If I’m reduced to breaking out the emergency coffee, I won’t care that it tastes like freezer burn; it’ll still have caff in it.

      • mancityRed6

        I think I might have beans somewhere, and a grinder, but I would have to search for them both and that would not be a pretty sight tomorrow in the 4ish AM CT.

  • Yr. Gma

    I am doing the corned beef and cabbage thing tonight. (Cooking it myself.) Anyone else or are you all going to some pub to get shitfaced?

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’m doing the Napa Valley Merlot thing.

      • cmd resistor

        Mediumly cheap merlot and frozen fried fish fillets. I do have some cabbage which I want to make into a polish dish (noodles, butter, onion, cabbage) that I haven’t had for many years.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Home cooked meals is best meals!

      I’ll be there in 30…need anything?

    • I made stew

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m just stewing.

        • It was good too, did the meat right for a change

          • Jonny On Maui

            Good going Jen!

          • Pinky’s recipe, mostly! I can follow a recipe. Sort of like following the steps in an experiment

          • Jonny On Maui

            And that’s exactly what a kitchen is, a lab. Follow a process. Check results. Adapt process until happy.

      • Rasilom

        I has me a nice buffalo steak for dinner.

    • puredog

      I’m staying sober. RESIST! RESIST!

      • Rasilom

        I tried staying sober for a while but I got depressed because my friends the pink elephants and the purple bunnies stoped visiting. Once I started drinking again they all came back to party!

        • Liberoid Ron

          Brightly-coloured imaginary animals are thoughtful that way.

          • Rasilom

            They are the best type of friends! Always down for a party and best thing, as they are imaginary they don’t make a bigger mess than I do!

          • Jonny On Maui

            My imaginary friends always broke shit and split before mom showed up…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I swore off playing gigs on Paddy’s Day a few years back…a few too many people getting shitfaced at once.

      • Jonny On Maui

        2nd best Amateur Night after New Year’s Eve…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It actually tops the Amateur Night standing around here. Fucking hellscape.

    • The Wanderer

      I had grilled Reuben sandwiches for dins, with a tall cold glass of Guinness. I’m now going to have some Irish coffee and go on a date with Death’s twin sister, Sleep.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Just picked up corned beef at Snarf’s and Guinness. Yum.

        • The Wanderer

          Deelish!

    • Jenny

      Wings!

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    This child is a future Wonkette non-commenter.

    https://twitter.com/frostymendes/status/842848382490152960

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    This Mike Mulvaney motherfucker. Commenting rules notwithstanding, I’d like to meet him in an alley behind a bar and…alliterate his ass.

    • Whenever you are getting spitting made at Mike Mulvaney, remember that he is only 31 and he looks about 50 and is balding really badly and has a shiny forehead.
      at 31.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Dorian Gray in reverse. How does someone get to be that evil so young in life?

      • Dazza

        He’s a creepy, sadistic man, who is one of the founders of the Freedom Caucus that ousted Boehner and advocated for gov’t shutdown over raising the debt limit.

        I am unsurprised to note that he is isn’t married. He probably is averse to wasting precious. bodily fluids on women – and is saving them up in a crusty sock.

        • My bet is he is a closet case. For real. He has self loathing sobs in the dark while spanking it to nude picks of Scott Baio written all over him

          • Dazza

            You’re probably right.

            Spanking the monkey to Scott Baio? Ick.

          • well. Republican.

          • Lord Jim

            I just threw up in my mouth a little.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Obviously, he hasn&