SHARE
‘We’re gonna come up with a new plan that’s going to be better health care for more people at a lesser cost’ – Donald J. Trump, 1/25/17

The long-awaited Congressional Budget Office report on TrumpCare was released Monday afternoon, and it was every bit as exciting as anticipated, with the excellent news that repeal of the Affordable Care Act would reduce the federal budget deficit by $337 billion by 2026. Isn’t that wonderful? Oh, and it would also result in 24 million people losing health insurance by that time, as well, most of them lower-income and older Americans. There’s that, too. But don’t worry — the Trump administration is absolutely sure the CBO is wrong, and when has Donald Trump ever lied to us about healthcare? Apart from every goddamned time he said his “terrific” plan to replace Obamacare (which he didn’t actually have) would insure more people for less money. Let’s jump into the gory details!

Which Losers Will Lose Coverage And Why

In 2018, the very first year under TrumpCare, 14 million people would go without insurance, largely because once the ACA’s individual mandate and tax penalty for not being insured are repealed, many people would decide they’d rather take their chances than pay for insurance. This doesn’t mean they won’t get sick or have accidents, but the CBO report doesn’t attempt to estimate how many of these newly uninsured will end up having health care costs that the rest of us will pick up through ER visits and so on. So there’s 14 million uninsured, in a congressional election year, but hey, they were exercising their free choice to go without, so hooray for freedom!

Starting in 2020, the rollback of the ACA’s Medicaid expansion, along with the conversion of Medicaid funding to limited block grants to the states, will result in a total of about 24 million people without insurance by 2026, so we should be almost exactly back at the uninsured rate before the ACA. Want a fun comparison? Vox notes, “24 million people is close to the entire population of Australia.” Australia, like every other sane industrial democracy, has universal coverage.

The changes in how Medicaid is funded will even result in loss of healthcare to people who would have qualified for Medicaid before the ACA. So poor people, especially kids and people with disabilities, will be super-extra screwed, which ought to bring a smile to the face of many a good Christian soul who can then feel virtuous after dropping a dollar in the Salvation Army kettle. Quoth the CBO:

Some decline in spending and enrollment would begin immediately, but most of the changes would begin in 2020, when the legislation would terminate the enhanced federal matching rate for new enrollees under the ACA’s expansion of Medicaid and would place a per capita-based cap on the federal government’s payments to states for medical assistance provided through Medicaid. By 2026, Medicaid spending would be about 25 percent less than what CBO projects under current law.

Also, the report predicts a number of states that have only recently expanded Medicaid under the ACA will drop the expansion even before 2020 since they just weren’t into it anyway, although the CBO couldn’t predict which particular states would do that.

Which Losers Will Pay More, And Which Lucky Duckies Will Pay Less

TrumpDon’tGiveAShitCare will look like a bargain to folks who are young and already healthy, since they can drop their insurance without a tax penalty. Ah, but won’t the 30% premium increase for those who go uninsured for over two months keep them in the system? For some, yes — but plenty will also decide it makes sense to pay more for insurance later and take their chances for now. The loss of younger, healthier enrollees will cause premiums for individual plans to increase after 2017 for the older, less healthy people who remain in the pool, which is only fair because they decided to keep getting older and sicker, like a bunch of idiots. However, since there will still be tax credits — much reduced — to subsidize individual plans, the CBO also projects that “a significant number of relatively healthy people would still purchase insurance in the nongroup market.” So it wouldn’t cause a death spiral in the insurance market, just costlier, crappier coverage.

The real losers, as everyone (except congressional Republicans) said from the start, will be older, sicker Americans, especially once insurance companies are allowed to charge older policyholders up to five times as much as younger ones. Also, the maximum tax credit to offset premium costs will now be just $4000 a year. The ACA limits the cost of policies for older people to three times as much, and provides income-based subsidies to offset even those increased costs. Result: Older, less well-off folks will be screwed, hard, as Vox explains:

CBO expects that a 64-year-old who earns $20,000 would see her premiums rise from $1,700 to $14,600 under the Republican plan — a 758 percent increase. She’d be expected to spend more than half her annual income on health insurance.

Sucks to be you, grandma! Yes, let’s bring out that ad about Paul Ryan throwing grandma off a cliff again. Roll 212!

Oh, and those lucky younger folks who’ll be able to buy cheaper health insurance? After repeal of the ACA’s requirement that insurance cover at least 60% of health benefits, the portion of total costs the plan pays — the “actuarial value” of insurance — can drop significantly, resulting in less expensive insurance that covers far less of policyholders’ actual healthcare costs. It won’t quite be the full return of those “junk insurance” plans that cost little and covered almost nothing, since even TrumpDoesn’tCareIfYouDieCare mandates coverage of some basic health services, but it will be similar.

For the lucky ducky younger folks, that means big savings on monthly premiums, but higher out-of-pocket costs if they do need services. Which they won’t, because they intend to stay young and healthy forever, will never have babies, and will definitely not be in car accidents. CBO predicts many insurers will sell mostly plans with much lower actuarial value, resulting in higher costs for plans that do offer better coverage — which are also likely to be less attractive to insurers, since there will be less profit in them. Those low-cost/low-coverage plans will at least keep a fairly large number of younger people in the market, though not enough to keep premiums from going way up for people who want or need better coverage.

And here’s a fun detail: The repeal of the employer mandate may cause quite a few employers to drop coverage for their employees, dumping them into the individual market, where those folks will either go without insurance or buy cheaper, crappier plans. However, notes the CBO — in what seems like a rare overt dig at the slapdash Republican “reform” process — “Some employers would probably delay making decisions because of uncertainty about the viability of and regulations for the nongroup market and about implementation of the new law.”

Oh, yes, and how about defunding Planned Parenthood — any losers there? YOU BET!

The people most likely to experience reduced access to care would probably reside in areas without other health care clinics or medical practitioners who serve low-income populations. CBO projects that about 15 percent of those people would lose access to care.

Eh, fuck ’em, any slut who’d go to baby killers for health services doesn’t deserve healthcare anyway.

At Least The Rich Will Get Richer

The rollback of the ACA’s various taxes would at least provide some help for America’s suffering wealthy folks, who’d get a ginormous tax cut — the best numbers here come from another study released Monday by the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center, which estimated that the vast majority of the tax benefit from ACA repeal would go to the wealthy, according to Howard Gleckman, a senior fellow at the think tank:

The effects are really very dramatic. We found that a typical middle-income family would get a tax cut averaging about $300, while people in the top 0.1 percent would get a tax cut of about $207,000[.]

The group estimates that around 60 percent of the tax savings would benefit people with incomes over $1 million. So that’s nice. And here’s a fun bit of symmetry noticed by Jason Furman of the Peterson Institute for International Economics:

Let’s see, now, what did our great president say about his great replacement for the terrible ACA?

We’re going to have insurance for everybody. There was a philosophy in some circles that if you can’t pay for it, you don’t get it. That’s not going to happen with us.

Clearly, everyone else must be lying.

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and is supported by reader contributions. We have always relied on the kindness of strangers.

[CBO report / NYT / Vox / Hullabaloo / Reuters]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MynameisBlarney
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Trae Crowder. National treasure.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Give Trae his goddamn Comedy Central show after TDS, already!

    • vh

      a slap on the head and 2 aspirins is what every affected american citizen must give paul ryan.

    • schmannity

      I’m upvoting for “Jason Chaffetz, anus polisher”

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Cheap.
    Comprehensive Coverage.
    Universal access.

    You can choose 2. See, it IS easy!

  • jesuswasablack

    The healthcare portion of the bill might suck but the tax cuts for folks that make over 200K a year are awesome!
    http://i.imgur.com/fcr9AJqh.jpg

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The current GOP plan is about nothing but tax cuts for the parasite overclass. There are supposed to be further phases in the “repeal and replace” plan, but we don’t have those handy, probably because they haven’t been drawn up yet even in PowerPoint form. But given what we’ve seen, the cost side will never be addressed by the GOP, only the “die now” side for the citizenry.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Anna Rompage

      I think Baldwin should take Alex up on the offer, with one condition; no steroids, trucker speed, or and other PEDs for Jonesie for the 2 months prior to the fight…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Daily drug tests by an agency of Baldwin’s choice to verify that these terms are being honored.

      • GoutMachine

        So, he collapses from withdrawal?

        • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

          Bonus!

    • Doug Langley

      He seems nice.

    • Marceline

      Between Bannon, Jones and Limbaugh I have to believe we’re going to get another Breitbart style exit this year from one of them. There’s just too much rage and drugs.

    • Liberoid Ron

      They really, REALLY cannot handle mockery, can they?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Nope.
        Not even a little.

  • GoutMachine

    So, the Republicans have supposedly* been working on an ACA replacement for seven years, and this is the shit they come up with. At least be honest* and say either, “Yeah, we were full of shit and we just slapped this together last weekend,” OR say, “We really fucking hate all of you little people.”

    C’mon. Embrace your inner Lannister, Republicans. It’s liberating.

    * HA HA HA

  • Crystalclear12

    Thank Gawd I was drinking when read this or it might have upset me.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The real losers, as everyone (except congressional Republicans) said from the start, will be older, sicker Americans, especially once insurance companies are allowed to charge older policyholders up to five times as much as younger ones

    Joke’s on them: older citizens are more likely to vote.

    These people really don’t understand how politics works, do they? Works for me…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c49d01942a67c837a98834e364133e7b0f88e625d430adbb64f1dd8c91277f8.jpg

    • GoutMachine

      Yep, and who’s opponent #1 of this shitshow? That’s right, AARP.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Good point. See my post below (or above, depending on how you sort your Disqus). This is probably the counterpoint to my thoughts. At least, I hope it is.

      • timpundit

        Just read this, yeah I offered that very counter point.

    • Erala Contratista

      Olds vote, and boy are we annoyed. Get off my lawn, if I had one.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    In 2018, the very first year under TrumpCare, 14 million people would go without insurance, largely because once the ACA’s individual mandate and tax penalty for not being insured are repealed, many people would decide they’d rather take their chances than pay for insurance.

    I think we should think about these 14 million people carefully – they may not be an electoral problem for Republicans in 2018. In fact, just the opposite, if I’m reading this correctly. If enough of them avoid getting hit by a bus or getting cancer or breaking their arms in their awesome off-roading adventure, it sounds like many of them will save money in the near term. They may perceive that they are, in fact, better off under TrumpCare and reward the party that passed it accordingly. [insert thinky-face emoji here]

    • GoutMachine

      So we have to hope for buses full of votes?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        That would require widespread mass transit. Enough bones broken with votes while off-roading in ATVs might do it.

        • GoutMachine

          “Dude, hold my beer…”

        • elviouslyqueer

          Or that whole falling stray-bullet while off-roading thing, also too. As per:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGxpdP3ZbWQ

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Is this the kind of person we’re not supposed to be mocking?

    • timpundit

      Yeah forget that particularlar demographic, can’t count of them. Most of them prolly voted for Stien anyway so fuck em.

      But, the elderly that are going to see their’s rise …those are the ones to watch and see if there are any buyer’s remorse from them.

  • Mpeg

    Australia, like every other sane industrial democracy

    But but but – – EXCEPTIONALISM!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Exceptionally stupid is nothing to brag aboot.

  • Brad H

    “TrumpDon’tGiveAShitCare,” shortened to just ShitCare.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, I finally got around to finishing Perlstein’s book about Goldwater and the ’64 election, and a significant portion of the last chapter is about how a lengthy ad Reagan did for Goldwater helped make Reagan a rising conservative star.

    And in that ad, Reagan claimed that “welfare” was hugely expensive and inefficient because if you just took all the money spent and gave it to poor people that would $4500 per person per year. (The poverty line at that time was $3000).

    But this was bullshit because that “welfare” number included mostly social security and veteran’s benefits that didn’t got to the poor at all.

    tl;dr Conservatives have been lying with and about the numbers forever.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s their nature; it’s what they do.

      Reagan’s father-in-law was a vile sack of fascist shit.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        So kind of like the Russian Puppet’s dad?

      • Oblios_Cap

        He had a father? I figured that he just sprung, fully formed, from Zeus’ ass. Sort of like a reverse Athena.

  • Mpeg

    While listening to Trump excerpted on Democracy Now this morning, I thought I heard him say “big, fat turd” but meh, the president was just describing more businesslike transactions regarding health care in the parlance of his times that emanates from his lizard-eyed, weasel-puckered brain.

  • Inner Venom

    What I want to know is why someone who acknowledges Jesus healed the sick for nothing would turn around and have a problem with universal healthcare.

    • GoutMachine

      … and one who was against the death penalty, gave away food for free, talked about how rich people suck, was anti-war, was pro-tax …

      Then again, what they really worship is Republican Jesus.

      • Brad H

        By the modern Alt-Right definition, today he’d be called Jesus Cuck.

    • MynameisBlarney

      They worship Republican/Supply Side Jeebus.

      Not no dang ol’ commie-pinko sandal wearin’ hippie!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Jeebus, Son of Mammon.

      • vh

        Supply side jeebus said it best in 2 Corinthians.

    • Anna Rompage

      Let me introduce you to the GOPs new lord and savoir; Rampant Profit!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c06cb8615ce349fcb2f2639c24e0c252488a3e91fbb502bdfdef7b19ff0680d7.jpg

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, then?

        • Anna Rompage

          AT least the dems are good on social issues, and willing to throw the poor and middle class a bone now and then…

          The GOP is like the rich school yard bully who beats up on the impoverished gay kid, and steals his lunch money…

          • Oblios_Cap

            Democrats give money to their donors expecting public goods in exchange, albeit at a premium. Repubs just toss the money to their friends and don’t care what they do with it, as long as they send in the campaign contributions.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Smaller number of bosses….

      • therblig
    • vh

      i’ve been observing you for a while now. you sir ask a quite a lot of fact-based pesky little uncomfortable questions. why can’t you be “polite” and “decent”? just because the core of your existence is under attack does not mean you lose your balance.

      • marxalot

        indeed, let’s return to civility. no more Christian-persecuting liberal-bias facts

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Well, not to put to fine a point on it but, Jesus was a PoC. The right worships his dad, god, who’s clearly white.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Oh ho! White Dad. Dark son? Who’s his Real Dad???

        Mary, Mary, quite contrary .,,

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Hah! God works in mysterious ways. And the master always has a thing for his slaves.

    • writersbloc

      Jebus healed hard working white people down on their luck, not darkies looking for a handout….

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Ummmm…..those were Jews?….

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Those were the deserving poor.”
      — A Christianist

      • Oblios_Cap

        But… they drank wine!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “What they called wine was really grape juice.”
          — Actual claim by some Christians

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Which is true for 2 weeks a year after grapes are pressed but before they start fermenting.

          • You are asking that the Christianist observe “facts” and “reality”

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Also know as “Hurry up, goddam it” time in wine country . :-)

          • Erala Contratista

            Ummmm. Sometimes our grapes barely get crushed and fermentation starts. They can even ferment on the vine if the weather permits.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I was pretty much bare-assed guessing at the 2 weeks. I could see fermentation starting that fast. Warm rich air.

          • Erala Contratista

            El Contratisto makes wine. If those vats aren’t bubbling in a couple of days he’s on the phone with other makers.
            Semi OT, if you are making cider, you have to chill it fast before it ferments if you want apple juice. Also heard don’t drink it fresh from the press, much gastric activity can ensure.(too chicken to try).

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Ohhhh. Thanks for reminding me. I’d forgotten that when the 20-something kids were little we’d have a cider pressing party at a friend’s house/farm. That’s what I had in mind when I was thinking fermentation can be fast to start. You’re right. Same day/ overnight at room/outdoor temps. Could be quite far along after 2 weeks.

            Refrigeration is a handy thing.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            I’ve wanted to get one of these trees, but they are messy bastards.

            http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/12/141203-drunk-birds-animals-science-winter-global-warming/

          • Red Bird Ω

            Really?

    • azeyote

      the universe scares them

    • Infrequentcontributor

      Because Jesus heals for free and doesn’t cause them to pay more taxes, duh.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Wait, which Jesus are you talking about? White conservative, English speaking only Jesus, or that dark skinned socialist Palestinian guy?

      There’s a big difference in America of which Jesus is the “real” Jesus. Hint: it’s not the brown skinned socialist guy.

    • NastyBossetti

      Jesus will still heal the sick for free. You just have to believe. That’s the new health care plan. It’s very Christian.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I woke up this morning to read that my Congressman, Mark Amodei, a loyal and reliable Republican foot soldier, is opposed to this bill. That’s not going to endear him to the wing-y section of the party (Clinton carried the state, but Trump carried Amodei’s District).

    • msanthropesmr

      The neighborhood Republican ( not mine) Whitman​, is again it. Another loyal foot soldier. His district health care would be decimated.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Call him and praise his opposition!…

      • WeaselPoo

        Unless that facilitates his re-election, in which case he could carry on fucking over everyone else, as is his Party’s manifesto…so, tough choice.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Pinkham’s Law

    I think I’m gonna be sick now.

    • Brad H

      Better now than later, should #ShitCare pass legislation.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Sorry, but you can’t afford that.

  • Sardonicuss

    But what about savings from not having to cover people who die from “rage strokes”?
    Bet the CBO didn’t factor that savings into their fancy actuarial projections huh?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Medical bills for conservatives’ “hurt fee-fees” will be at an all time low!

  • Rick Hill

    Well….obviously you people don’t know how rising boats and pissing on poor people work…oh, wait. Maybe you do…

  • Oblios_Cap

    they intend to stay young and healthy forever, will never have babies, and will definitely not be in car accidents.

    But the market for selling those babies to old rich folks for replacement parts will never be better. It’s all a matter of perspective.

    • Rick Hill

      Or have work related injuries. I’m certain that somewhere there’s a republican proposal to allow businesses who have workers with OTJ injuries to be allowed to take them into the woods and put them out of their misery. A more economical approach, same as our environmental policy

      • WeaselPoo

        “…allowed to take them out to the woods” sounds like an oppressive government regulation to me.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Yeah! What’s wrong with open fields?

  • CBO expects that a 64-year-old who earns $20,000 would see her premiums rise from $1,700 to $14,600 under the Republican plan — a 758 percent increase. She’d be expected to spend more than half her annual income on health insurance.

    Yeah, well, maybe Grandma should NOT vote for the nice Christian white men who think she should go off and die next time.

    • Doug Langley

      But we really dodged a bullet! We might have had a President with emails!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        And a hoo-hah!

        • h4rr4r

          and friendly with blah people.

    • jesuswasablack

      Hey if that old bag can’t live off $5,400.00 for a year until she’s eligible for medicare too fucking bad!
      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EBuFyq4kJP4/UD-VCiVnw2I/AAAAAAAAE4U/MvrrOYA5DQw/s1600/granniealpo.JPG

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Alpo Prime Cuts???

        Fancy!!!

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Must be Thanksgiving.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        “… but I heard the blacks are on the welfare, havin’ babies and abortin’ em but then having more babies that they then keep for some reason, so I’m makin’ America [racking, tubercolic cough]… great again.”

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    I think many of us agree that the rollout of Obamacare was complicated and challenging to know how to navigate. But they worked out a lot of the kinks over several years. That there still are millions without healthcare should be a warning. Should this bastardized GOP Obamacare go forward, what would it actually look like to a person on the ground, in the street, whatever, in reality? Are there going to be neighborhood offices one can just go to, like the DMV? Will there be a new website with You Tube videos ‘splaining in 100+ languages how to use the website? Who will pay for all this on-the-ground work of rolling this fucking thing out? How will the insurance companies interface with brick and mortar or internet portals?

    Why isn’t anyone asking practical questions alongside the policywonk/political philosophy questions?

    • h4rr4r

      Obamacare is and was a giveaway to the insurance companies.
      We can thank Lieberman(I-Israel) for that.

      If you want everyone insured the answer is simple, sign everyone up for medicare. Then let insurance companies sell policies to cover premium features and provide income loss coverage or other medical related insurable events.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Because we all know the answer – they literally have not thought that far ahead. Hell, they probably imagine that the signup process will change ‘automatically.’

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • vh

      forget keeping your doctor, better yet, you get to keep your affliction.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – time to go do some stuffs:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d31c4441dca80c2c1732b2fb6bef41acf7425c30e36c05e8adb0ba8127ff6a0.jpg

    What do you think?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/82108f9065c932f5a8fa2cbb2a742499aefd5a16a150a3e54105a9561ba8d555.jpg

    “Hey Fellas. Do either of you know the way to the Smithsonian? I have to pick up a Fossil.”

    :) Have a good day, Y’all.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Go for the ginger look, imho.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thanx! :) I do love it. It’s meant to be like Black Widow in the first “Avengers”, but a little redder.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Red suits you.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. :)

        Today, when people – like the Churchy lady in her lilac pantsuit and that haircut they order from a catalog – were eyeballing me, one look from moi and they looked away. I think my normal Resting Bitch Face goes to “Overload” in this wig and makeup. XD

        • Liberoid Ron

          I can actually picture that!
          Plus, I’m quite sure that your Churchy Lady knows that all redheads are pure evil. And they are, because every time I tell the g/f that her red hair makes HER evil she does evil things, like deny me cake.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

            See, I would agree with you. It’s just that Evil is one of the pluses. :D

    • WeaselPoo

      Now, there’s a happy face! Looks good.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. :D

  • dslindc

    “Healthcare? Let them eat cake, get diabeetus, and die due to lack of healthcare. Because freedom!”

    -Speaker Paul Ryan
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/15bc3c864cdb087ac5eda13306946432447940f8e02c7a73a06bba6375ae0358.jpg

  • goonemeritus

    “Affordable Care Act would reduce the federal budget deficit by $337 billion by 2026”. Of course the Military build up will increase the deficit $560 billion over the same ten years Clearly spending isn’t the issue, if I were to guess we like tanks and jets more than our poor.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “We would spend more on poor people if they could blow other countries’ shit up in a really cool way.”
      — Your Republican Party

    • Anna Rompage

      If spending, the deficit, & the debt were an issue, the GOP would be proposing to make the cuts they want, and keep tax levels where they are at, so as to use that surplus to pay down our debt…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Our people

      • goonemeritus

        No the rich think this plan is peachy.

    • kareemachan

      And what about that Wall…..

    • jaspersdad

      MAGA:

      Who needs healthcare when there are brown people to bomb…….

  • calliecallie

    “…people in the top 0.1 percent would get a tax cut of about $207,000…”
    A tax cut much bigger than most people make in a year. Holy fuck.

    • WeaselPoo

      But people who need a $207,000 McLaren 720, for their mental well-being, can now afford one without having to give up their i-phone, so swings and roundabouts, really.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Dancing therapy horse libelz! !!

        • WeaselPoo

          LOL! Classic!

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      May they choke on it…

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    trump Careless Health Plan….

  • BigCSouthside

    Trumpcare is like taking something pretty good that does the job, like a Big Mac, and putting razor blades on it instead of special sauce

    • vh

      plus charge you extra for the privilege of screwing your own self.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    If all these so-called “young, healthy people” are going to opt out, what are they going to do when they get into a car accident, or get MS?

    • Anna Rompage

      Go to the ER, get treated, and then declare bankruptcy on their medical bills..

      Just like how it happened before the ACA… You know, when hospitals were taking huge losses, passing those onto insurance companies, and premiums were rising at 15%-30% annually…

      • msanthropesmr

        Next step, make medical bills like student loans. With you till you die.

        • Vincent Ricola

          It’s just a matter of time.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Can Debtors’ Prisons be far behind?

          • dslindc

            Only if privatized!

        • Anna Rompage

          I do recall GOP proposals before the ACA that would have made it significantly more difficult for normal people to declare bankruptcy.

          My guess is that it’s just a matter of time before those ideas start getting floated around the halls of congress again..

        • dslindc

          I could actually see that, with a whole secondary market for “consolidating/refinancing” like you see with student debt.

          • mailman27

            Then we could crash the economy again with “tranches” of hopelessly non-redeemable medical debt!

      • Brad H

        Only till they pass legislation that allows hospitals to refuse treatment if the patient is unable to pay…

        • h4rr4r

          That does not require new legislation, only the repeal of the EMTALA.

          Which frankly if you are going to let folks choose to be uninsured and pass those costs onto the rest of us, is not that terrible an idea.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Buy insurance then, eat the increased premiums. Sure, it costs everyone more money, but this was never about saving money for you poors.

  • calliecallie

    Part of my wonders if they ever even expected this to pass. Rollbacks occur during the election years? What sane legislator is going to vote yes for that? “Sure, let’s piss off half my constituents in the run up to the election. What harm could that do?”
    Either Paul Ryan is a idiot, or he wants this to fail, or both.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I doubt he is an idiot so I go with wanting to fail.

      • Oblios_Cap

        True. He is the leading intellectual of their party. Smarter than Jonah Goldberg, some say…

  • OrdinaryJoe

    These guys are serious when they start talking death panel.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      They ARE the goddamn death panel.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    When they said nobody gets out alive, I didn’t know they meant this year.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    So you might as well take a bath with the toaster huh?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Maybe KaC will volunteer to try that out and report back to us.

      • Rags

        Pictures at 11!

    • dslindc

      Ok, but that isn’t covered.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Hair dryer and radio also too just to be sure, cuz you definitely do not want to wake up alive.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      That’s one way to get it to shut up.

    • tomamitai

      Just make sure it’s not plugged into a GFCI outlet, which most near bathtubs are due to the damned nanny state!

  • TJ Barke

    I look forward to the dying poor from a treatable disease.

    • Clyde Barrow

      You’re only dying because you’re not praying enough to White conservative Baby Jesus™, and you haven’t been tithing enough to your local megachurch.

    • snark-lurker

      the upside is, teh quicker ye go the lesser ye suffers

    • jaspersdad
  • schmannity

    I’m not worried. The Sorosprotestor, LLC group coverage is great!

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Slow payer, though – I still haven’t gotten my check from the Women’s March.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Me either…

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Damn you, Soros!! Pay up!!!

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

    OT: but Steve King just loves sticking his big racist foot in his xenophobic pie hole. http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/14/politics/kfile-steve-king-prediction/index.html

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Holy Mother of Murgatroyd…fuckety-fuck… from the linky:

      “King concluded the interview by recommending that listeners read the novel, “The Camp of the Saints,” by French author Jean Raspail, a book about Europe being overcome by immigrants which has also frequently been referenced by top Trump adviser Steve Bannon. The book has been criticized as presenting a racist view of immigration.”

      How the HELL did we get here???

      https://wonkette.com/613916/pssst-wanna-read-something-really-racist

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        They aren’t even pretending to hide it anymore. Thanks Obama Orange Smegbeast

      • snark-lurker

        it all started when Ronny-baby Ray-gun declared “greed is good”

      • Ωbjectifier

        After I finish that one I’ll get started on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      What the actual fuck??? I wanna bleach my eyes just from reading the headline! This scumbag needs to retire post-haste. Paul Ryan was out there defending King on all the shows saying, “he misspoke”…no mutherfucker! He doubled down yesterday & goes full fucktard today? LOCK HIM UP!!! In a room full of blacks & Hispanics to join superforces to fight him. I should’ve gotten in on that wake & bake from earlier comments…now I too am feeling surly.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Does this fucking guy WANT his head to be displayed on a pike?

  • Inner Venom
    • MizzMazz

      Aaannnd he’s teabagging himself. What a charmer.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        SMRT, that guy is. XD

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Watching Chris Hayes last night with Bernie Sanders in coal country. And those folk are all wa wa wa we have every pre-existing condition known to man and some known only to God but we still voted for Trump because HILLAREEEEEEEE and the Negroguy and now we are losing our health care. Of course they will still vote for Rethuglicon iin 2018 because MAGA. #Toomuchtoabsorbwithoutalchol.

    • Isaac Heston

      #Word

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Gonna take a page out of their own little playbook: sucks to be them.

    • Inner Venom

      A rich white man, poor white man and poor black man sit at a table with a tray of 10 cookies. The rich white man takes 9 for himself. Then, as the poor black man and poor white man reach for the remaining one, the rich white man looks on the poor white man and says, “look out! He’s trying to steal your cookie!”

      • WeaselPoo

        oldie but goodie (and pithy)

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hopefully, they’ll be too fucked up on meth and opioids to remember to vote.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They’re probably still posting shit all over the internet shouting “We won! Hillary lost! Get over it snowflakes!”
      Is it moonshine? Meth? I mean, there’s uneducated and then there’s peak derp.

      • Maclare

        the constant “snowflake” comments crack me up, they really do.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Especially considering that they’re the ones bitching and whining ALL. THE. GODDAM. TIME.

          • Maclare

            Yep. That is some heroic level projection

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck them all.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Dok says, “CBO report doesn’t attempt to estimate how many of these newly uninsured will end up having health care costs that the rest of us will pick up through ER visits and so on.”

    GOPers have a giant hard-on today because the report said it’ll save $337B over the next 8 yrs. I’d like to propose the CBO re-crunches the numbers & adds that detail in there. I’d speculate the $337B would be all *poof* gone to cover those ER visits for all the Patriot Moran ‘Muricans who think healthcare is for sissy Liberal Elites.

    • h4rr4r

      The $337B is tax money saved.
      The ER costs passed onto the consumer, is free of icky big government. Totally different.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Oh, right! Silly me…

    • Liberoid Ron

      Not that the $337B will actually be there to cover it. Every R in Congress is already scheming to see how much of that can be funnelled into their own districts and/or pockets. As far as they’re concerned the money’s already spent, and it hasn’t even been saved yet.

      • tomamitai

        Uncle Sugar needs new missiles and bombs and ships and submarines and…

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    All the 64 year olds making 26,500 need to marry a 64 year old millionaire. Problem solved.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Making America Dickensian Again!

    • BosGrl

      I keep picturing the Great Depression. Ironic that the children of the people who suffered mightily during the depression are the ones who voted for Drumpf.

  • Liberoid Ron

    … people in the top 0.1 percent would get a tax cut of about $207,000[.]

    Pfft, big deal. You know how many McLarens you can buy with $207,000? NONE, that’s how many.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Has Lori been lying to me all these years????

      • WeaselPoo

        You mean Kellyanne Conway’s roommate? Magic 8-ball says….squirrel!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, but how many iPhones can you buy, smart guy?

    • WeaselPoo

      570 GT $201,000 so sorry,

      • Liberoid Ron

        Oh, like anyone in the .01% would buy an ENTRY-LEVEL McLaren!

  • h4rr4r

    There is a simple solution to all this, just repeal the EMTALA.

    Then the ER can ask for insurance card or credit card before treating you. Let’s see how the young healthy types like that.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe Uber can expand into ambulance service. They can pre-screen you to make sure you can afford the service before wasting the EMT’s time driving to the scene of your car wreck. Best of all, anyone can earn money as an ambulance driver in their spare time!

      Also, I ask about EMTALA anytime a conservative complains about freeloaders on the medical system. Haven’t gotten an answer to that yet.

    • tomamitai

      Will the EMT’s be allowed to just leave you where you dropped if your “wallet biopsy” comes up negative?

      • h4rr4r

        So long as you would not be loitering. If you happen to be on private property other than your own, you of course could be charged rent.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Jesus, what’s up with Tom Cotton lately?
    TPM:
    Sen. Tom Cotton threw cold water on remarks from top Republicans that legislation the CBO gave a dreadful score to is just one of three phases in the process of repealing and replacing Obamacare.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Still just being a jerk.

    • cmd resistor

      He did get quite a talking to by a large number of his constituents at a town hall recently. While I have no illusion he’s seen the light or become a good person I will give him a few points for having it and listening, more so than Rubio, my senator who won’t have one because his constituents say stupid things and are rude.

  • Red Bird Ω

    So basically rich people bought themselves another tax break.

  • nightmoth

    The hateful part of me is thinking of all the Trumpanzees I know who will not be able to pay for their medical needs and will die, the nice part of me is worrying about poor Southern black people and hoping doctors and nurses will start accepting chickens in payment, and the selfish part of me is thinking, “Yeah, but KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF MY MEDICARE!” None of these are happy thoughts.

    • Jenny

      Most people now reside in urban areas. Hard to raise those valuable chickens in a studio apartment.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Has the urban chicken trend not hit your neck of the woods yet?

      • nightmoth

        Home baked pies, then. True story: my Dad the anesthetist didn’t add his services to the surgery bill for poor folks and he did his good deeds in secret, just like Jesus suggested. But the wife of the elementary school janitor in our little town found out what Dad had done and brought us some amazing pies. I doubt the current health care system would allow such good deeds today, even if the medical personnel were willing.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Part of TrumpCare is to legalize voting by dead people. I guess Rs have a reason for that.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Genetics?

    • Clyde Barrow

      Biff Tannon’s offspring almost makes me believe in demons….almost.

    • Inner Venom

      Because their father is the archetype of every villain from every 90s sci-fi movie?

      • vh

        even kids movies. have you seen little rascals?

        • Inner Venom

          Fun fact: In Home Alone 2, Trump in his cameo gives Kevin the wrong directions…in his own hotel.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It’s their mouths…

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They must have gotten serious work done on those chompers some time between then and now.

      • chascates

        They can afford it. I can’t.

    • Shoto

      Was this shot taken before or after the tri-state murder spree?

      • Creepoman

        Yes.

    • Jenny

      Ewww. Born rich is the only thing they have going for them.

      • MynameisBlarney

        INORITE!?!

        If they didn’t have that, the only way they could get laid would be to crawl up a chickens ass.

    • jesuswasablack

      Which one of Daddy’s weddings were they attending?

      • cmd resistor

        Seems like I saw same pic recently and assumed it was Ivanka’s. But who knows. Eric surely looks like Biff, only dumber.

      • therblig

        i assumed it was the slytherin prom

    • MizzMazz

      Very punchable faces. No, wait, I take that back. What I’d really like to do to them is put them to work on a farm or a ranch. Maybe doing construction; I dunno. Put a shovel in their their doughy white hands, make them go out in the sun and dig trenches, hang drywall, do some framing (no nail guns, just hammers). Weed wack a pasture, and muck out stables. Make them do this sort of work for a season or two. Ya wanna eat? Grow some fucking food. Cook it yourselves; no one waits on you anymore. Same with clean clothes, bed, house. Cold? Go and chop this firewood, and no, I don’t trust you with the log-splitter.
      That’s what I want to see. Blisters on their hands and feet, sunburn, dirty real work.

      • cmd resistor

        How about cleaning restaurant grease traps, which smell worse than any animal poop.

        • MizzMazz

          Yes! That too, bus tables, put up with nasty customers, work BOH on the hot side during the lunch or dinner rush. Get cut on the meat slicer, or get burned on the flat top and have to carry on working anyway. I just want to see those fuckers cry when they try to do things the rest of us do every day.

          • cmd resistor

            Those people would not make it 5 minutes dealing with even mildly demanding customers, much less the physical injury/pain stuff. Oops, stuck my finger in the French fry grease.

      • DahBoner

        They wouldn’t last 30 minutes before they needed to run into town for ice cream.

    • Thorn Spike

      Because they are.

    • snark-lurker

      Yes, I know the type well. And then one day I realized ‘hey, i’m taller than that muther fucker’ and none of them were bullies after that

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Nice. :) *nods*

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Two arguments for tumbrels, right there.

    • therblig

      they say “a face only a mother could love”, but this would seem to stretch even maternal ability.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Things are not going to turn out well for Uday and Quasay. They will not be able to keep the grift going at the level of Saddon.

    • schmannity

      Creep 1, Creep 2.

    • Truly Madly Derply

      Fat, juicy and tender–they actually more closely resemble bully magnets. I wonder how many times these sleaze-covered marshmallows ran blubbing home to Daddy (and by Daddy I mean Ivana, probably)

    • Truly Madly Derply

      PS. Slap a blonde wig and a set of falsies on Beelzebub on the left there and he’s the image of Ivanka. Come to think of it he’s probly got “man” boobs so scratch the falsies.

  • Reality Kills

    What’s in Steve King’s book recommendation list?

    The Camp of the Saints!

    There is no such thing as culture or traditions. Those two things are always evolving.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Yet, I’m sure he has no worries about other cultures being lost to invasions from strangers.

      • Reality Kills

        Yes, exactly!

        • Red Bird Ω

          Yes, back at you. The arrogance of white supremacy is the assumption that only Europeans did anything beneficial to humanity.

      • “Hahahaha… yeah, that’s cute, Steve. Get on a fucking boat back to Europe.”

        – Native Americans.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Why didn’t they assimilate into the native culture?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I think that’s the only book he’s ever read.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Fuck these racist fascist white supremacist pigs. Steve Bannon has brought them out of the closet, fully

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Do these assholes think that culture gets passed genetically?

      • Reality Kills

        I really think they believe exactly that.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Apparently so. No one has accused them of being pensive.

      • Erala Contratista

        Also from door knobs.

      • No, but you might say he believes in a superior or… Master Race.

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        Basically they culture is linked to skin color which is why they use them interchangeably. It’s a fascinating sleight of stupid

        • tomamitai

          sleight of stupid

          This is the most succinct description of the secret to Trump’s success that I’ve seen so far.👍🏽

    • I’m surprised he isn’t Mormon, honestly, because that sounds like it would right up his alley: “Hey, guys, do you like Jesus, but don’t like that whole… Jew… thing and aren’t very fond of blacks? Well, has Crazy Uncle Joe got a New New Testament for you!”

    • Maclare

      Because I need caffeine, I read that as STEVEN King, and thought, “well, it IS a horror novel, sort of…”

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Dok, Dok, Dok … To Replicants, these are all features of TrumpCare, not bugs.

    • Red Bird Ω

      No kidding. They’re pulling the rug out from the younger, brown generation that they see as replacing them.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • dxyseilc of the rstesinace

      Fucking this. It’s obvious that so much of our society and government, and in particular the Republican platform, is designed to protect the top 1% from any competition, even as Republicans claim competition is vital to our economy and, indeed, our way of life. It really is the only explanation for why they don’t support policies that help the poor, like single-payer and increased wages, even when they clearly stand to benefit.

  • Clyde Barrow

    I’m really surprised the GOP “health plan” doesn’t include tort reform. If you’re going to screw the people, do it all the way. Make it nearly impossible to hold your doctor accountable for misdiagnosing you, amputating a wrong body part or organ, and turning you into an opioid addict. If you can afford to see the Doc in the first place…

    • BosGrl

      Oooh, there’s a thing we haven’t heard for a while.

      • Clyde Barrow

        It’s coming, it’s only been 6 weeks.

    • WeaselPoo

      If you can afford to see the Doc in the first place..

      That right there IS the ‘Tort reform’

      • Clyde Barrow

        You’ve got a point there.

      • therblig

        wait, you have to bring your doctor pastries now?

        • WeaselPoo

          According to the Kaiser Institute, 4 out of 5 death panels will accept chicken pot pie as a tribute in lieu of individual chickens or pastries.

          • LucindathePook

            Pie day!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I think that “tort reform” is in phase 2 or 3 of the three phase plan that is still being worked on. Phase 1, as we now know, is all about tax cuts for parasites.

      • cmd resistor

        Isn’t the “crossing state lines” thing in one of those phases, also,too? This phase is also about the appearance of sticking it to Obummer and the Libtards by ruining everything good they ever did.

      • Clyde Barrow

        About the time tort reform pops up, Trump will pull another Red Herring from his ass to distract everyone from the fact he’s about to screw ’em. That has been his M.O. from the get go.

    • tomamitai

      But aren’t there just as many ambulance chasers on the republican side as on the democrats? Principles are wonderful to have, but not if it’s going to cost you money!

  • Jgb979

    If you’re in the 0.1% bracket, is $207,000 really worth destroying health insurance and probably the economy in the process?

    What am I saying of course it is

    • Clyde Barrow

      Americans, especially wealthy ones, pretty much gauge their life status on how condescending they can be towards the less fortunate. Trickle down economics depends on that trait.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m not sure what bracket my parents are in; probably the top 5% or so. When I was younger, my dad told me that if he ever got rich, he would most likely become a Republican because then he could keep all the money. But he DID become rich and he’s now a socialist.

      • Jgb979

        I’ve been fortunate to be born into a stable wealthy home with supportive parents and a quality education.

        I feel like my political views have only moved leftward since I’ve started making real money, as I realize how fortunate I’ve been and how important it is to make all parts of the system continue to work.

        It’s not even just a sense of social responsibility, it’s an understanding that we’re all effed financially if only the rich get to have all the money and power.

        • tomamitai

          Plus I’m sure that quality education included examples from history of what happens to elites when the rabble have nothing left to lose.

    • tomamitai

      Where else will they get the money to lobby the president over lunch or dinner or a round of golf?

    • HarpyLibtart

      That’s almost enough for a Mar-A-Lago membership though…
      Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy you the ability to enjoy burnt steak and champagne whilst watching the Mango Manchurian signing off your tax cuts AND fucking those gross poors, which is the closest thing to happiness the 0.1% understand.

  • chascates

    Finally we get death panels and as an older and sicker ‘Merican I will be forced to move from Tejas to Oregon? or Massachusetts? or someplace away from the South.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    What I like about this plan is that, just like Spicey told us – it’s simple! If you’re rich, here’s some more money! If you’re poor, fuck you! Simple!…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s true what they say: the GOP really is better at messaging.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    My hope is that this mish mash rotted house built on a foundation of shit they call a plan is so repellant even to wingnuts that it really does die 1,000 deaths.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It might, but the worst part is that if it dies, it will die because it doesn’t kill ENOUGH old poorz.

  • Reality Kills

    Some headlines from the last two two-three months.

    Netherlands and Turkey in diplomatic fight.
    Denmark took side and supports Netherlands.
    UK is leaving EU.
    Scotland is threatening with another referendum.
    Turkey and Russia getting closer despite Russian ambassador killed.
    US has Donnie.
    Russian ambassador to UN ‘died’.
    Elections in Germany, France, and Netherlands.
    Turkey’s Erdogan wants all the power with referendum next month.

    Trying to connects the dots! What’s the pattern?!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      White people are stupid?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Erdogan is shifting up a gear on alternative facts now claiming it was the Dutch army responsible for the genocide of Screbrenica. That fucker. We kinda miss American leadership telling both NATO allies to go to their room while Uncle Sam figures out how to get everybody on board but unfortunately you guys are too busy not dying while POTUS chills at Mar-a-lago.

      • Reality Kills

        Heck, tell me about it. I really believe Putin is dying to dismantle NATO. And Erdogan at times sounds like he wants Ottoman’s Empire back.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Yeah the good thing is that the EU is taking a stand in supporting us and that The increased rhetorics are just for his supporters. there are even op-ed of Turkish Dutchmen here supporting the government and refuting Erdogan.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Both with support from within the Drumpf administration.

    • tomamitai

      Sounds like the folks in the Baltics and Poland better get the old Cyrillic road signs out of storage.

    • The next Axis will be Russia, US and Turkey?

    • WeaselPoo

      Politicians bored of waiting for next Game of Thrones, started their own series?

  • Oblios_Cap
    • snark-lurker

      Hoo’s money?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Funny how the shit really hits the fan after the 2020 elections.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Hairstrike Alpha

      I love that the baby is sleepy B

  • boyblue122

    I honestly didnt think Drumpf and the rest of the republicans had the gall to go after the 51-64 age bracket but they did anyways.

    Almost like they are trying desperately to get voted out of office

    • Jgb979

      This will be a good test to see if the conservative news bubble survives something that objectively makes their lives worse

      (I don’t have my hopes up)

      • Clyde Barrow

        ^This 1000x^

      • boyblue122

        The republicans in congress have awoken the AARP. Not sure if people who regularly receive mail from them will be inclined to ignore their warnings about the healthcare bill

        • WeaselPoo

          “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping geriatric and fill him with a terrible resolve to get us off his damn lawn.”

      • Claire

        Of course it will, because the conservative news bubble will tell them to blame Obama and liberals, and conservatives eat that shit with a spoon.

    • DahBoner

      I think they are cocksure and stupid and they correctly assume their voters are the same and will believe anything they are told.

    • tomamitai

      Well some of them have to die in order to save Social Security for the rest! Otherwise, there’ll have to be a tax increase on “job creators”!

    • WeaselPoo

      As usual, they want the power and claim they deserve to have it, but they don’t want the concomitant responsibility.

    • Claire

      Or like they’ve realized that there’s literally, genuinely nothing that will stop that age bracket from voting Republican out of sheer spite.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    The good news is that the rich people who get a ton of tax breaks will have more money to convince the public that the reason they lost their Obamacare is because of Obama.

  • DahBoner

    Amazing how 1-3″ of snow falling in DC stops the Strong Brave Republicans in Congress from working today…

    Even though they are “tough” enough not to need to wear a winter coat, a hat or gloves when talking in front of a camera outside in the snow?
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/12/bwahaha.gif

    • BosGrl

      Yeah and all those doctors and nurses will manage to get to work today. Funny how that works. Politicians are soft like babies.

      • WeaselPoo

        A classic from The Onion:

        LOS ANGELES – A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA’s Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.

        The study, an 18-month battery of intelligence tests administered to over 3,500 babies, concluded categorically that babies are “so stupid, it’s not even funny.”

        According to Institute president Molly Bentley, in an effort to determine infant survival instincts when attacked, the babies were prodded in an aggressive manner with a broken broom handle. Over 90 percent of them, when poked, failed to make even rudimentary attempts to defend themselves. The remaining 10 percent responded by vacating their bowels.

        It is unlikely that the presence of the babies’ fecal matter, however foul-smelling, would have a measurable defensive effect against an attacker in a real-world situation,” Bentley said.

        Another test, in which the infants were placed on a mound of dirt outdoors during a torrential downpour, produced similarly bleak results.

        “The chicken, dog and even worm babies that we submitted to the test as a control group all had enough sense to come in from the rain or, at least, seek shelter under a leafy clump of vegetation or outcropping of rock,” test supervisor Thomas Howell said. “The human babies, on the other hand, could not grasp even this incredibly basic concept, instead merely lying on the ground and making gurgling noises.”

        According to Howell, almost 60 percent of the infants tested in this manner eventually drowned.

        Some of the babies tested were actually so stupid that they choked to death on pieces of Micronaut space toys. Others, unable to use such primitive instruments as can openers and spoons due to insufficient motor skills, simply starved to death, despite being surrounded by cabinets full of nutritious, life-giving Gerber-brand baby-food products.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        And fire, EMS and police are all out working /driving in it.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Fuckin’ weenies, not worth the piss in their shoes that they aren’t fucking smart enough to pour out.

      3″ of snow here means I wear flats instead of heels.

      • DahBoner

        It’s not like they drive their own cars around. They ride in chauffered limos.

        Yeah, they’re probably afraid boots might make them look MIDDLE CLASS workman-ish. Like they’ve ever done a day’s work in their entire lives.🤡

        • Persistent Demme

          Some of my friends in London had cars.
          I would show up for a winter outing in sensible boots and a small purse slung across my down coat.
          They would wear beautiful intricate leather shoes and a cashmere cape.

      • Truly Madly Derply

        I love a pretty flat. Sam Edelman is my fave in the flats dept. Although I hear (from Kellyanne Conway’s toaster) that Ivanka’s are FABULOUS.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I’ll take a look at Sam Edelman. :) I wouldn’t wear vanka if they were free.

          I saw some red sequined Ballet slippers on Amazon that I want. “The Red Shoes”, anyone? :D

          • Truly Madly Derply

            I agree re Ivanka shit and I actually felt that way years before our long national nightmare.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Me too. I always say “I didn’t want your shit *before* I knew your dad was a rapist.”

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/mar/12/republican-healthcare-trump-pence-medicaid-indiana

    Trump voter: “For Medicaid to say, ‘We’re going to spend X amount of dollars on you, and that’s all we’re going to spend’ – we’re supposed to just roll over and die because we can’t pay it ourselves?”

    Err, yes, lady, that’s exactly what Republicans think you should do. It’s why you voted for them. It’s what you said with your vote to migrants, Muslims, Hispanics, other women, gays, etc. when you voted for them. Why should that not apply to you? Because it’s *you*?

    • BosGrl

      Is it possible they all thought that non-white immigrants were going to be thrown en masse out of the country and then suddenly there would be plenty of health insurance for everyone? Otherwise, I can’t figure it out.

      • WeaselPoo

        Something like that….Trump claimed that Mexico was “ripping off” the US, GOP always going on about “illegals” living off welfare, therefore GOP would get all those ameros back and pay her health costs because she’s a Real American whose taxes otherwise go to supporting inner-city blah’s hippity-hop drug fueled anti-police laziness etc.

        • Truly Madly Derply

          Like when Brexit dude said all the millions UK spent to belong to European Union would go into NIH. Hahahahahahaha

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Fuck anyone who’s not white-bread USMerkin. Not hard to figure out.

    • WeaselPoo

      Because “socialism!!!”

    • Lefty Wright

      Of course it shouldn’t apply to them. They are gun lovin’ abortion hatin’ white folks and deserve those tax paid benefits, for reasons.

      • Claire

        And it genuinely never occurs to them that someone else might think they’re the ones who are undeserving. Why, aren’t they hard-working? And salt of the earth? And WHITE?

  • Reality Kills

    Playing geopolitics: Putin annexes East Ukraine before the end of the year. NATO won’t do jackshit.

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s not up to NATO to defend Ukraine, as Ukraine is not part of the NATO alliance…

      • Reality Kills

        I understand but until last year they were sort of supporting.

        • Anna Rompage

          Kind of, on one hand NATO has blocked the Ukraine’s effort to join the alliance at this point, and on the other, NATO has made statements in regards to disapproval over Russia’s involvement in the country.

          So far only individual western countries have given material support to Ukraine, and not NATO as a pact…

        • Lefty Wright

          Neither were Yugoslavia, or the remnants after their war, nor was Libya. But those did not present the danger of direct combat with Russian troops.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      If Il Douche does nothing, it will be 100% certain that Pootie owns his ass. Pray that the CIA dredges up the proof.

    • tomamitai

      Only east Ukraine? Someone is an optimist!

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Newt Gingrich wants the CBO abolished because he doesn’t like their numbers. He’d like to see the U.S. government publish only numbers that make folks happy – you know, the way Enron did. Come to think of it, maybe Andy Fastow could use a job…

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Surprised he isn’t already in this (mis)administration.

    • Truly Madly Derply

      Kind of how he only paid attention to the polls that said Mitt was winning. Remember the butthurt? So much!

    • Anna Rompage

      Seeing that this admin wants to use Dynamic Scoring (make the numbers up) for everything they put out, I’m sure they are not happy by the CBOs report…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “Bad news is treason. Treason is punishable by execution. All praise to Friend Computer Trump.”

  • Truly Madly Derply

    I rely on the ACA and, miraculously (since I reside–wouldn’t call it “living”) in Missouri, I’m on one of the Medicaid plans. I lost my job 7 years ago (fun fact: two months after closing on my very first house). Well, no. I didn’t lose it; it was ripped out from under me when the corp for which I had worked for over a decade fired me and about 300 other peeps in a ” soft layoff” to appease shareholders. I met the necessary criteria–highest paid non-manager in my dept. That was it. The HR bitch, who totally blindsided me without batting her stubby eyelashes, tried to make it out that I was at fault so I said Really, because I just got a raise and promotion, dick. Anyway, back to ACA. I had awesome benefits at my job. Other than putting profits ahead of people, which is in all fairness pretty fucking par (more the pity) the company was extremely progressive in terms of HR/benefits. So I was really miffed about losing my on-campus doctor and my 90 cent prescriptions, nor to mention my fucking livelihood. Now, prior to landing that job I had worked almost all my professional life in jobs that offered NO health benefit. I was a single mom during most of my kids’ growing up years and thankfully their dad (who worked for DOD and EPA, respectively) had great, almost free insurance and they were always totally covered–a good thing, too, because my youngest child was a havoc magnet. He alone has sustained more broken bones than my other 3 kids and my extended family put together. And more stitches than Frankenstein’s monster. I have been lucky enough to enjoy an exceptional phenotype but I do suffer from Adult ADD. I know. Everyone has ADD. But I really do. If I don’t take my meds I’m either a zombie or a psycho flitter spazz leaving a trail of unfinished tasks in my wake. One recent Thanksgiving I was so overwhelmed by what seemed the insurmountable task of preparing the meal (and cooking is one of the things I love and at which I excel, okay, I said it) that we didn’t sit down to eat until almost 10 p.m. Yeah, I’m on ACA but because its Medicaid and because its Missouri and because Adderal is a class C drug, Medicaid won’t cover it so I have to pay out of pocket, which ranges from 60ish to 90ish Ameros per month. And I’m still not working, having found that my skill set (aherm, *editor) is not in great (or little. Or any) demand. Another long story there and I’ll bore you with that some other time. So I have to juggle and every 4 months or so I can fill my prescription, which makes for very many dysfunctional months. It’s not perfect. But at least I get my mammograms and well woman exams and colonoscopies covered. I go to a clinic for dental exams because my long, longtime dentist isn’t willing to work with me. Anyway, it would be great if it worked better but having it as it is? Huge relief. And to my earlier point–I worked fulltime jobs for years without coverage and was lucky. The one time I was in an accident, my car was hit from behind and I did two and a half spins in the fast lane during rush hour, the back of the car hit the concrete barrier and tipped over and finally stopped with my side of the car on the ground. When I climbed out of the passenger door I felt like Jamie Lee Curtis in Operation Petticoat. I didn’t have a scratch on me but my beloved Rav4, (Muggsy; I’m sure we all name our cars, right?) was totaled. I still miss him. And I’m really going to miss my Obamacare.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Ah good, Paul Ryan is finally clearing up some misconceptions about the GOP's health plan: pic.twitter.com/FWRiMb30Ni— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) March 14, 2017

  • Notreelyhelping
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      grrrrrrr…

    • HazooToo

      Why is this not everywhere?!

      • phoenix00

        Because Media is still gorging themselves on Trumpy’s tweet-du-jour.

    • tomamitai

      Ha ha, congress, go ahead and legislate all you want, who’s going to implement those laws after president Bannon(R-Giedi Prime) finishes “reorganizing” the executive branch?

    • parachihuahua

      The House is supporting this through HR 998. They have approved a committee to go back 15 years and randomly rescind any regulation they don’t like. My personal feeling is that our democracy has only lasted this long because of due process. That is what we are losing. AND, regardless of the party, a one-party state is never good, but we are quickly becoming a one-party state.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Sounds like a full-employment act for judges.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “Everybody’s going to be covered beautifully – if they’re rich enough to afford it.”

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    How can anyone be stupid and incompetent enough to roll out a shambolic disaster like this bill? There are so many things about it that are absolutely horrific – and then there is the fact that nearly one tenth of it deals with discontinuing benefits for people who win the lottery.

    Think about that. How many people win the fucking lottery? They stuck that in as padding and it’s still less than seventy pages long.

    These people are monsters. Incompetent monsters.

    • Claire

      I think they basically figured that if their voters actually voted for Donald Trump for president, it was a pretty clear sign that Republican politicians don’t even need to pretend to give a shit about anything but shoveling money into the pockets of the rich; because there is literally nothing they can do that’s so odious that it will stop Republican voters from not only voting Republican, but loudly insisting that they’re on the side of righteousness for doing it.

      You can’t really argue that they’re wrong.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      How about Spicy’s ridiculous page-count comparison with the words “this is government….this is not.” Why don’t they just move to Somalia if they don’t want “government”?

      • Too many black people, and I hear they’re Muslims. Scary!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yes, why would you ever want to compare a law to the one it is replacing. That's just crazy-town. https://t.co/PQaDW7vH8C— Nick Gourevitch (@nickgourevitch) March 14, 2017

  • Paperless Tiger

    I think the CBO is being overly optimistic. Obamacare is just a bandaid. Trumpcare rips it off. Blood will flow. These crises rarely stay neatly in their own sector. There could be a rash of bankruptcies and defaults and another economic crash.

    • parachihuahua

      I concur, as the insurance companies are now used to having these revenues and if lost will increase premiums on ALL plans to make up for the loss. Having been an HR manager in the late ’90’s, I can tell you we are right back there with the 20% premium increases every year and no COBRA, and, and…

  • Charon_69

    Why isn’t this being covered as a ‘jobs-killing’ bill?
    Wasn’t the ACA creating thousands of decent paying health care jobs that couldn’t be outsourced?
    Aren’t the republicans supposed to be in favour of that sort of thing?
    Can Dems not start using that angle?…sweet cinnamon jebus people

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      It’ll certainly kill lots of jobs when a bunch of rural hospitals have to close. Also, too inconvenience a bunch of Drumf voters; who whether or not they have insurance will have to drive many miles for medical care.

      • Like you’d have a car after you paid for the health insurance!

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Good point.

      • Tiny kaiju

        A lot of older folks have given up driving for good reasons. So this way their children and grandchildren can get fired for taking too much time off to drive the old folks to the hospital.

  • georgiaburning

    For 2018, expect Bernie Madoff to be given a full pardon and be placed in charge of Trumpcare. This will enable 500 million people in all 62 states to enjoy full coverage for two dollars a month.

  • Mavenmaven

    Let’s just call it “wealthcare”.

  • capnkrunch

    After-tax premium increase for 64 year old making $26,500: $12,900
    Tax cut for 64 year old making $1,000,000: $12,900

    It’s like the GOP is reverse Robin Hood. And their poor rural base isn’t voting in their best interests. Shock!

  • Jack Tenhet

    “Everybody knows thew fight is fixed
    The poor stay poor and the rich get rich
    That’s how it goes,
    And everybody knows.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lin-a2lTelg

  • aureolaborealis

    Happy Nice Time Off-Threadness: Why wasn’t I informed that Paul Simon is still making excellent music?

    https://youtu.be/9lJHVpH5v8Q

  • whitroth

    Who’s got the pitchfolks, and who’s bringing the torches?

  • Tiny kaiju

    Dear President Dumpster Fire,
    When you say “Nobody knew healthcare could be so complicated”, I feel very confident in saying you are refering to yourself and the sad, ignorant masses that voted for you.
    This is because literally, and I am using that word correctly, everyone who voted for Madame Secretary Clinton, knew this.
    Yours in complete disgust,
    The rest of the country

  • CATMAN

    I finally figured out what the Republicans mean when they call for “patient centered” healthcare: it is CENTERED on the ability of the PATIENT to come up with the money to give to insurance companies

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    A friendly reminder for those who voted Green Party/Libertarian or didn’t vote.

    Please proceed to the nearest cliff and jump (with votes!)

  • phoenix00

    So a so-called health care plan disguised as a tax cut on the top income earners? Oh Republicans, knew you tigers wouldn’t change those stripes.

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    I heard the latest dumb republican congress member on NPR today saying, “I don’t know why the CBO said the number of people on Medicaid would drop by at least 5 Million people. It is free, so why would people chose to drop it?” I was screaming at my radio, “That is not how medicaid works!”

Previous articlePresident Hillary Clinton Releases Marvelous Plan To Improve Obamacare, Aren’t You Glad She Won?
Next article‘Fox & Friends’ Morons So Mad At These ‘Anti-Trump’ T-Shirt Slogans, Like GRRRRRR!