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And it was going so well up til then…

We’ve mentioned a couple of times now that the R’s are doing everything they can to rush TrumpDon’tCare through the House before all the wingnuts decide it’s not cruel enough to poors. Thursday’s hurried votes to advance the two bills that make up the “American Health Care Act” did at least come after frenzied daylong “markup” sessions (no, not frenzied makeout sessions, pay attention) during which Republicans on two House committees — Ways and Means and Energy and Commerce — got a chance to weigh in on the plan and make it a lot better for the American People. Or at least for Republicans who want a fig leaf with “I repealed Obamacare!” scrawled on it in magic marker.

Buzzfeed’s Paul McLeod gives us a sense of the excitement in the Energy and Commerce committee:

What started Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. as a lively ideological debate about the future of American health care turned into a grueling battle of attrition after about 12 hours. Hypothetical constituents were invented, given names and personalities, and diagnosed with debilitating diseases.

“We’re almost to the tweeting hour,” one Democrat said as midnight approached.

About those “names and personalities” of nonexistent constituents, that all started with Rep. Steve Scalise from Louisiana, who started talking about hypothetical folks named “Pamela” and “Jeff,” whose basic liberties are endangered because the ACA won’t let them purchase cheap, shitty insurance that doesn’t really cover much of anything:

It might make for a hell of a Confederacy of Dunces fanfic, but we’re not sure that’s any way to determine healthcare policy.

McLeod indicates the debate was sometimes less than lively:

Chairman Greg Walden speculated it may have been the longest continual markup session in the committee’s history. At times there were pitched arguments and at other times near silence, as members of Congress stared at their phones lifelessly while another colleague spoke.

At one point, around 2:30 AM, Missouri Rep. Billy Long insisted Planned Parenthood had to be defunded in order to “protect the unborn miniature women.” We’ll assume Long knows the Hyde Amendment already forbids federal funding of abortion, so he just enjoys lying. Or perhaps he’s a fan of radio evangelist Kevin Swanson’s theory that birth control pills leave women’s innards studded with hundreds of tiny dead babbies.

Democrats, with no other tactics available to them but to deploy all the parliamentary tricks they could think of to slow things down, did exactly that. This may have been at least a little cathartic fun, considering how Republicans did the same thing back when the ACA was being drafted. They pointed out that the Congressional Budget Office hasn’t yet scored the proposal (an early estimate by the Brookings Institution, based on previous CBO evaluations of other attempts to gut the ACA, predicts the plan could result in 15 million people losing health coverage), and did everything possible to slow debate. An amendment to rename the legislation the “Republican Pay More For Less Care Act,” McLeod notes, took up “three, increasingly surreal hours” of debate. Over in Ways and Means, Texas Democrat Lloyd Doggett introduced a more serious amendment to delay markup until next week, when presumably the CBO scoring would be finished, but it was quickly voted down. Ways and Means won the quickest-vote contest, voting at 4:30 AM Thursday to move their part of the legislation to the Budget Committee, while the Dems in Energy and Commerce held out until 2 PM, after which their chunk was passed on a party-line vote.

There was a bit of last-minute excitement before that vote, though: Texas Republican Joe Barton introduced, then withdrew, an amendment that would have ended the ACA’s Medicaid expansion — and related federal funding to the states — even earlier than the 2020 cutoff in the original bill, because darn it, why shouldn’t the poors hurry up and get a job or die a lot sooner? Barton and co-sponsor Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee plan to bring it back during floor debate, thank goodness.

After all that intense work and debate, what was achieved? Energy and Commerce passed a single amendment to their bill, clearing up a bit of a technicality:

Still, now that the two bills that make up TrumpDoesn’tGiveTwoShitsCare have had a full airing in the House, they’re ready for Prime Time. Let’s close with this fun interview of New Jersey Republican Leonard Lance, in which Chris Hayes tries and tries and tries to get Lance to acknowledge there hasn’t been a single public hearing, with witness testimony, on the actual bills:

Incredibly, Rep. Lance was so proud of his bumbling appearance on MSNBC that he put the video up on his own YouTube channel — at least until MSNBC took it down, grrr — even though he repeatedly avoided giving a straight answer (“we’ve had a series of hearings over the last several years on the Affordable Care Act”) and had no idea how many people in his district have insurance through the exchanges — he guessed about 5,000 people, but Hayes informed him the Kaiser Family Foundation puts the number at about 20,000. But really, what difference does being off by a factor of four make when they’re all wildly in favor of paying a lot more for insurance, or losing their coverage altogether? Gotta do the people’s will, you know, even though now that the proposal is out, Lance’s constituents won’t have a chance to let him know what they think of it.

So hurrah! The system works! No, don’t be silly, no one said it works for YOU.

Wonkette is ad-free, and our goal is to bring you the absolute best in journamalism on the important issues affecting miniature women. But we can’t do it without your generous support, even if it’s a miniature donation of a few bucks.

[ThinkProgress / Buzzfeed / Mediaite / All In With Chris Hayes on Facebook]

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  • Nounverb911

    Did the GOPers demand time and a half for overtime?

  • Chadwells

    Holy fuuuuuuck.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “Pamela” and “Jeff,” whose basic liberties are endangered because the ACA won’t let them purchase cheap, shitty insurance that doesn’t really cover much of anything:

    Well I have it on good authority that neither Pamela or Jeff voted for Rep. Scalise. So there!

  • schmannity

    Trump read that the life expectancy for a Russian male is 64. TrumpDontCare is all about the envy.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but what’s the afterlife expectancy? I’d imagine the vodka keeps ’em pickled for a good long while.

      • schmannity

        About 10,000 years in Chernobyl.

  • Nounverb911
    • Wild Cat

      If mellow-yellow Chris Hayes has a jump on you, you have gotta be really fucking stupid.

    • TJ Barke

      CAN I PLEASE TAKE A BRICK TO THESE PEOPLE!? with votes…

  • Gayer Than Thou

    …birth control pills leave women’s innards studded with hundreds of tiny dead babbies.

    Think of a uterus like a King cake: if you find the tiny baby, you have to pay for the prenatal care next year.

    • Nounverb911

      And Viagra pills put them there?

    • schmannity

      I’d rather pay for prenatal care than break a tooth on one of those damn kings.

  • memzilla Ω

    … the Brookings Institution… predicts the plan could result in 15 million people losing health coverage.

    Well, there’s your Rethuglican style “Fight For 15” right there.

    FUCK THESE PEOPLE WITH A RUSTY SPECULUM DIPPED IN EBOLA.

    • mackafritz

      But then they will be free!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Free to die in the curb! True Freedom!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      These assholes are sure making a speculum of themselves.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I have bad news for Pamela, worse even than what’s going to happen to her health insurance costs once she’s liberated to buy the best insurance her money can buy: Jeff is all over Grindr.

  • calliecallie

    Miniature women? I guess because they are the only ones small enough for his tiny penis?

    • AJ Milne

      ‘Is it in yet?’

      –Tinkerbell

  • Chadwells
    • Sardonicuss

      Perhaps he can forever tie her name to some nasty bodily effluent, but what can he do with Melania?

      • Chadwells

        I can’t get past this:

        “Later, Savage pointed to a March 2 ThinkProgress article detailing the first lady’s recent visit to Children’s National Medical Center, a hospital in Washington D.C., where she called on “the gift of nature and the beauties of the outdoors” to heal seriously ill children. “

        • Sardonicuss

          Maybe Donnie didn’t get the box opened fast enough when she was delivered.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            No, it’s just a combo of ESL and not being very bright, I think.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          This all by itself is a damned good indicator of how truly evil she is.
          My BFF has a part-time job at the largest local hospital, wearing a bear suit, entertaining and cheering up the kids in the children’s ward. Most of them are there for long-term care. Far too many of them are terminal. When he tells me of these visits I can hear his heart breaking, over and over, because there’s nothing anyone can do.
          I’m debating telling him about this. He doesn’t get angry often, but this would drive him to incandescent fury.

          • Chadwells

            Don’t tell him. He hurts enough doing his goodwill for those beautiful kids who suffer illness!!

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Glad he said it and not I.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Thank you, Dan.

    • LucindathePook

      I am totes willing to hate her as well but it is so overshadowed by the degree of my hatred for absolutely everyone around her (except Barron, I guess).

      • Chadwells

        She isn’t high on the loathe list, as she is completely irrelevant and a total bimbo…but she is up there.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If Melania wants to get back in our good graces, a nasty divorce would be a good thing to try.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        The nastier the better. And make a big deal of the settlement so we can finally get a peak at the Russian Puppet’s finances.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I think a great deal of discovery will be required. With wide latitude of course.

      • janecita

        Melania doesn’t have the cojones nor the brain to do that.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Anyone know what her pre-nup situation is?

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Donkey’s pre-nups are all iron-clad. His first one was written by Roy Cohn. He leaves nothing to chance.

    • janecita

      I fucking hate her too! I hate every single one of them! Btw, I don’t think that she is pretty at all.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I hate that she is allowed to live in NYC at a staggering cost to the rest of us who loathe Dolt 45 also, but can’t get taxpayers to spend the money to keep him away from us.

    • janecita

      The trolls were all over this story on “Rawstory.” It is depressing to see how many Americans are complete morons.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘Melania Trump is as ugly on the inside as she is pretty on the outside.’
      I have a great deal of respect for Mr Savage, but this is one time when he should probably defer to we heterosexual males. Cuz Melanoma is NOT pretty. At best I’d say she’s ‘reasonably attractive from some angles.’ I don’t know who designed her face , but I have a hunch that whoever it was doesn’t actually like women very much.

      • Chadwells

        I think he was just trying to implement the ol’ salt and sugar treatment….a slap and a smile, if you will. Her face looks like it could cut glass.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Probably better’n the fake diamonds Donnie’s been giving her.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Staying up all night? Who knew going through the motions of being a legislator was so much work?

    Have these committee hearings changed one damn thing? I don’t think so. This bill was received from on high and must be passed as is, immediately. It’s the Republican way.

  • Nounverb911

    “Rep. Steve Scalise from Louisiana, who started talking about hypothetical folks named “Pamela” and “Jeff,”
    Is Scalise referring to Pam Geller and Jeff Sessions? Geller and Sessions are having an affair?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Worst porn plot ever.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I don’t know, but the rumor is out there now. People are talking about it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, this is one exception to the general rule that prenatal care is a good thing.

    • mancityRed6

      I read it on the internet, it must be true
      also, ewwww

    • Edith Prickly

      She finally gave up on John Bolton?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, I hear Pam likes ’em old, and short, and wrinkly. And Jay-uff has old, short, wrinklyness in spades.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I just saw that on the intertubes.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Hat tip to the Utah delegation who went with decaf for the duration.

    • mancityRed6

      I could never be Muslim because I like pork, I could never be Mormon because I love my coffee

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        That’s why God created Catholics, all the ribs,booze and coffee you can consume. Just rhythmic birth control however.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, I tried that for a few years.
          or at least, I was drafted into it once I was born.
          too many holy days and too much time spent in church.
          pass.

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            Agree. The inbred guilt is not a bug, but a feature.

          • mancityRed6

            I never felt the guilt. I can count on one hand the number of times I went to confession.
            It was all the time spent in church when I could have been at home doing nothing.
            Still, the aerobics were nice.

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            Agree again. My knees will never be the same again.

          • mancityRed6

            stand, sit, kneel, repeat

      • TJ Barke
        • Villago Delenda Est

          Never.Gets.Old

      • Lance Thrustwell

        And I could never be a Latter-Day Muslim because I like to stir my coffee with crispy bacon. Before all the buttsechs.

        • mancityRed6

          do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

    • Groundloop

      None of them took bathroom breaks either. A clue to what the Magic Underwear is really for?

  • mancityRed6

    So, the affordable care act was passed in ’10. The votes in the House to repeal started soon after the ’10 elections, so Jan. ’11.
    Then why did Paul Ryan go on the Hannity radio show yesterday (don’t even fucking ask) and say that they’ve worked on this plan for a year?
    Just what in the wide wide world of sports have they been doing for the past 6 years?

    • Nounverb911

      Playing with themselves?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Pissing and moaning, mostly.”
      — Paul Ryan

      “Tell me more about the pissing part.”
      — Donald Trump

    • Mr. Blobfish

      *makes jerkoff sign*

    • Edith Prickly

      Then why did Paul Ryan go on the Hannity radio show yesterday (don’t even fucking ask) and say that they’ve worked on this plan for a year?

      Because:

      1. he is A Idiot
      2. he tells lies like normal people breathe air
      3. he enjoys getting blown by Hannity
      4. he has no fucking clue how insurance works
      5. AOT, K

      • mancityRed6

        I’ll take #5 for $500 Alex

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There is not a single Rethug who should not be forced to make the walk of shame to Balon’s Sept before Cersei hits the button.

    • Edith Prickly

      I don’t want to see them naked, please.

      • Martini Ambassador

        considers posting naked tRump painting again, doesn’t because Edith doesn’t deserve that

    • aureolaborealis

      Wait … Cersei is the agent of good in this scenario?

  • Crank Tango

    These are the same people who want to take away our weed.
    THAT’S NOT FREEDOM.

    • TJ Barke

      They really seem to have no conception of freedom beyond the ability to make obscene amounts of money by fucking other people over.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        It’s what they do. It’s what they strive for.

    • mancityRed6

      their version of “freedom” comes down to what you can afford.
      Health care? you have the freedom to buy what you can, even if it doesn’t cover a thing.
      Retirement? see above

  • memzilla Ω

    … Missouri Rep. Billy Long insisted Planned Parenthood had to be defunded in order to “protect the unborn miniature women.”

    Jeezum Crow, even Frank Fucking Luntz thinks that’s over the top. *sigh*

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I always had a thing for Smurfette.”
      — Rep. Billy Long

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      And the already born miniature women are what, chopped liver?!?!?

  • TJ Barke

    The worst scum in America are calling the shots now.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I wish this were a wild exaggeration.

    • mancityRed6

      you’re such an optimist, I can think of much much worse

      • TJ Barke

        Steve Bannon the nazi is calling the shots. It doesn’t get much worse. He may be holding back on the evil a bit, but he’s still the one running the show.

        • mancityRed6

          just wait til you see what food prices are without the immigrant population to harvest/slaughter

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, sorry.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Truer words have never been spoken. And these assholes are being aided by a portion of Americans that are too dumb and selfish to know better.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Don’t worry folks. Sure this bill will kill a lot of poor folks, but our economic policies will make plenty of more people poor. ‘The poor will always be with us.’ as our favorite verse of the Good Book says.”
    — Your Republican Party

    • Sardonicuss

      Make sure that: The poor will always be with us. -Republican bible.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Mark 14:7 — highlighted and underlined for these folks.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Miniature women? Is that how they fit them into the binders?

  • DerrickWildcat

    You guys know about HR 1313?
    “New bill would let companies force workers to get genetic tests, share results”
    https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/03/companies-want-employees-genetic-info-new-bill-lets-them-take-it-by-force/

    • TJ Barke

      WHAT. THE. FUCK?

    • Nounverb911

      Ooh! The profits the companies will reap when they sell their employees DNA to the pharmas for drug development….

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Sorry, but you appear to have the union organizing gene, we’ll have to let you go.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “Sorry, but according to this test you might possibly develop a debilitating disease sometime in the next 40 years which would cost our insurance company a lot of money, so we won’t be able to hire you.”

        • TJ Barke

          There’s a greater than 30% you might develop cancer, so no insurance for you!

          • YoBunnyBunny

            You have a vagina and might make a babby. Sorry, toots!

        • Suttree

          There is going to be a high premium of those aborted babby parts now!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Or at least, “We will definitely be letting you go in your early 30s. We can probably get a few good disease free years out of you, after all.”

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      Whoa, not cool.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      HIPAA? WTF is that?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, fuck, no. Absolutely positively NOT. The ACLU will be all over this bullshit.

    • Suttree

      And they said Gattaca was a sci-fi film.

      • mancityRed6

        they said the same thing about Idiocracy

        • Crystalclear12

          The horror. . .

    • Scrofula

      Fortunately, for now, finding out which allele of cytochrome P450 isozyme 3A4 you have, while really helpful for medication dosing, won’t get you made fun of at work.

      • Rags

        Your genes as preexisting conditions.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘Hello again, Frank. Thanks for coming by. Tell, me, Frank, have you ever heard of the word “octaroon”?’

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The fate of my healthcare hangs in the balance. Fuck.

    • TJ Barke

      It ain’t the only thing…

    • Clyde Barrow

      Look on the bright side. Your funeral payments will be lower than your insurance premiums under Trumpcare.

  • Suttree

    Point of order: It is Boudreaux and Thibodeaux.

    • mancityRed6

      thank you

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’m fairly sure that Jeff would want the government to be able to negotiate drug prices for him, and that Pam would want her cancer screenings done at Planned Parenthood.

    So Steve Scalise can go fuck himself.

  • janecita

    “Protect the unborn miniature women.” What about the unborn miniature men? Why do you hate men so much senator?
    Ps. Are these the miniature women? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d22ca5ab7bd43943b3433c7d34a3957561731a1bec62a36539cf1c0146db4b4.jpg

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I thought the Republicans hated the fairies?

      • janecita

        Not the ones with boobs, they like those.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          ‘That Tinkerbell, definitely at least an 8, amirite?’

          • LucindathePook

            I believe she was modeled after M. Monroe.

        • puredog

          Unless they’re trans.

          • janecita

            Of course, to them, transgender women are still just “confused men with boobs.” God, I hate Republicans!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • WotsAllThisThen

    Jeff and Pam have superpowers that allow their cells to spontaneously heal themselves, so they would prefer a much less comprehensive health insurance plan. But then Bizarro Jeff and Pam show up through a wormhole and discover that being from an alternate universe counts as a pre-existing condition.

    If the chair allows, I move we amend the bill accordingly.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Latest estimates (AARP, AMA, etc.) put the number of newly-uninsured under TrumpCare to be in the 20 to 30M range. Places in rural US like WV, TN, etc., will find they are back to square one. I hope they enjoy it, because certainly Trump and the GOP (who they heart so very, kissy much) are about to kill them and their children.

    • Clyde Barrow

      I used to feel pity for them, but no more. Fuck ’em. Stupidity should hurt.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Obamacare is not perfect. It does need fixing. And a very good start indeed would be to take out everything that republicans inserted.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I hate to say it, but the Medicare Fraud Task force actually saved more money than it cost.

      But a lot of the other stuff, yeah. Fucking high deductible plans designed to make patients more “careful” with their “money.”

      • LesBontemps

        Sure there is (some) Medicare/Medicaid fraud, but who’s actually committing the fraud? It makes no sense to punish the beneficiaries because some doctors and hospitals over-bill and up-code to bilk the system.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Well, that’s the GOP pattern: ignore the criminals and punish the victims.

        • tomamitai

          Republicans think that any fraud at all in a program they want to get rid of is too much, but are curiously tolerant of it in programs they like, such as the defense department.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Social Security started out the same way. People fought against it and thought it was a terrible idea. A few tweaks through the years made it not only functional, but very reliable as well…at least until presidents started borrowing against it. Now it’s easily one of the most popular programs in U.S. history, and no candidate can possibly when an election by promising to fully dismantle Social Security.

    • yup

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Marvel, friends and countrymen – a once-great nation brought low so that cousin fuckers, rapists, and richbabies can rise above.

    I predict human extinction before the end of this century now @90% likelihood.

    • Suttree

      Human civilization by the end of the decade though.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        98%+/-

        Cheeto Benito will probably be starting a Short Victorious War before the end of 2017.

        Live Now, Love Now, Laugh Now.

      • tomamitai

        “Human civilization”? Sounds like a great idea, someone should try it sometime.

    • TJ Barke

      Naw, some tiny tribes somewhere will find a way to survive, probably in the tropical antarctic.

    • mancityRed6

      it was a nice run, now let’s let the cockroaches have at it.

    • Me not sure

      What time is it in Korea?

  • beatbort

    Can a group of people, such as these committee members, be diagnosed as “terminally stupid” and then put in quarantine somewhere for, like, forever?

    • Shucky Ducky

      I call NIMBY!

  • Fartknocker

    Thanks Lloyd Doggett for being such a great representative to South Austin. I haven’t heard from you on my letter I sent 3 weeks ago asking that you look into impeaching Dampnut over his continued violations of the Emoluments provision in Article 1, Section 9 of the Constitution but I know your busy with the POTUS’s proclivities with racial hatred, Russians, hooker urine, shady finances and Miralax Logo during the weekends.

  • memzilla Ω
    • TJ Barke

      I really wish some dem would stand up and just ask “Just how fucking dumb are you?”

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        That’s one thing I love about our Parliament. No-one has any problem asking questions like, ‘Would the Honourable Member please enlighten us as to just how stupid he is?’

        • Shucky Ducky

          [sigh] Parliament is just sooooo dreamy!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Sarah Palin is insulted!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        She wouldn’t understand the question.

    • Scrofula

      He’s nominating Palin as Insurance Czar?
      Oh wait, it was a hockey pitbull or something.

  • Liberal Fascist Ron

    OT:
    So Lyin’ Spice is on the TV box right now. Nothing about what Dear Leader has DONE – since he hasn’t done thing one in the last 50 days except take credit for Obama’s work and spread the blame for his own stupidities – but lots about what he PROMISED he’d be doing. The stuff he’s been ‘promising’ for the last seven weeks but hasn’t QUITE got around to doing. Even though He Has A Plan To Do Them.
    Not gonna watch him deflect legitimate questions. That’s assuming he allows legitimate questions. I have better ways of wasting my time.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All depends on how you define “legitimate”, now doesn’t it?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      According to Trump’s promises, his secret plan got rid of ISIS nearly a month ago. Why isn’t Spicey touting that remarkable achievement?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        So those Marines are firing rounds near Raqqah are doing it for shits and grins?

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          ‘We had all this ammo just lying around, see…’

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        This is what I’ve been wondering about! The super-secret plan to defeat Isis in 30 days! Why is there still Isis?!

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Maybe it’s a different ISIS?

    • mackafritz

      He has plans to make plans to do things that we can’t talk about right now.

    • LesBontemps

      Hitting yourself in the head with a claw hammer would be less painful and more productive.

      • puredog

        Point of Order: Do I have to do it with votes, or is violence to self not subject to the CRFR?

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner

    Oh, my god. I just read some pretty damned disturbing tweets over at Little Green Footballs…

    Here’s just one of them:

    https://twitter.com/jjmacnab/status/840236169619169281

    • TJ Barke

      Nazis. Trumptards are fucking nazis.

      • Keith Taylor

        So horribly depressingly fucking true.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Yew’ look like yew’ got libuuurralll’ genes. Yew’ mite even be a Juuuuu’! I’m per formin’ a citizen’s arrest.”

    • TJ Barke

      I’m thinking now may be the time to start embracing the 2nd amendment…

    • Anna Elizabeth

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q21AazXT9xo&list=PLgA_QpnjZQywhhsQy5fWuWLjDw1jBmMUj&index=69

      Bring it Nazis, and no, I don’t give a flying fuck if they, or anyone here, likes it that this is a fictional movie or not.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I am a peaceable soul. But I have no problems with people punching them in the neck. With votes, kinda.

        • Jack Tenhet

          My wife says that all the time. When someone displeases her, she whispers to me “I just wanna punch that guy in the throat!”

          I love her! You guys would too but she doesn’t do the online thing except to play games.

          • Yr. Gma

            Tell her we love her anyway.

          • Jack Tenhet

            I actually do. I tell her about everything here and she’s glad I’m talking to people besides her, doctors and family. She also loves the hat that Cindyin Encinada sent. She’s really a wonderful woman, Gma, feisty like you and fiercely smart. In October, we’ll have been married for twenty years and I am more in love with her now than I have ever been.

            Sorry to gush.

          • Yr. Gma

            Gush away. It’s adorable.

          • Jack Tenhet

            You’re sweet, Gma. :)

          • Keith Taylor

            Sounds as if you are one lucky man. I’m another. Cheers.

          • Jack Tenhet

            I am! I’m very glad you are too! A toast to our partners in life! Cheers!

      • Me not sure
    • Clyde Barrow

      <—this evil lib'rul served a few years in the infantry, knows how to handle a weapon, and will uphold the Constitution. Come at me, bro.

    • JohnBull

      I may head over to LGF during my smoke break and shame them for lack of moral decency. As long as they’re harassing me online they’re not beating their wives.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        It’s not the LGF commenters making them; rather, the commenters are posting them and expressing their revulsion. It’s no longer a right-wing site.

    • Fartknocker

      As a liberal who owns several guns, reloads the ammunition for his liberal wife and liberal daughters (x 2) and spends family time using said guns as semiautomatic paper punches on paper targets and making metal targets ring, all I have for Mr. Bloviating Oath Keep Patriot is don’t even attempt it with my family. Threats like this show your ignorance of the issues and your inability to assess a real threat.

      Enjoy your flag waving and story telling.

      • as a little white urban theatre chick with a bicycle and some pretty trained reflexes, i second this.

        i am way fiercer than i look.

    • Keith Taylor

      Wait. I’m not a U.S. citizen, but … Maricopa County, Arizona. Isn’t it notorious as the county where Joe Arpaio was sheriff for about a quarter-century? And cost the taxpayers tens of millions in court costs because of lawsuits from, among others, officials and even judges he made harassment targets with false charges? And hangs on to the birther conspiracy like a deranged bulldog after even Donald Trump has let it go and admitted there’s nothing to it? That Joe Arpaio? (Swiftly checks out Fascist Joe Arpaio online.) Omigawd. Yes it is.
      Then I suppose these opinions in Maricopa County needn’t amaze me.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    This is such bullshit! I think I’ll go into the workshop and sharpen my vote some more.

  • Clyde Barrow

    Tweakers also stay up very late and make horrendous decisions. Therefore, the GOP Congress is nothing but tweakers making horrible decisions.

    Are you listening, Alex Jones? This has overreaching government conspiracy written all over it! #tweakercongressgate

    • theCryptofishist

      Didn’t he sell them the trucker tweaker substance?

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Allow me to share again my email from the White House.
    “President Donald J. Trump continued building momentum this week toward fulfilling one of the most important promises he made to the American people: the repeal and replacement of Obamacare. After seven long years of disaster, President Trump and Republicans in Congress have begun the process of fixing America’s broken healthcare system and giving the power back to the American people.

    Tomorrow morning at 11 a.m., the President will deliver an important message regarding the future of healthcare in America during his Weekly Address to the nation.”

    Excuse me, I have some phone calls to make.

    • puredog

      And I’m a broken record here and will stop soon, but depending where you are (I’m in Oregon) it may be time to get those Daily Kos Ides of March postcards in the mail. Should be angry and stern, even insulting, but probably best to keep it clean, and to remember that if you include threats of violence the SS will not likely be mollified by the qualifier “with votes.” Donnie, 1600 Pa Ave NW, WDC 20500.

  • Ruhe

    So now we can haz death panels.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Sarah Palin will finally get that federal government job under the Der Trumpenführer administration she’s always wanted. Hell, she practically invented the position!

    • MynameisBlarney

      The GOP is THE Death Panel.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      The GOP doesn’t hate death panels. They were just mad they didn’t get to be on them.

  • Crystalclear12

    No, no, it was a make out session. People did get screwed.

  • Paperless Tiger

    They may manage to force individual insurance providers and rural hospitals right out of business. This could get even worse than millions losing insurance.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I expect the rural hospitals to start going first. And (maybe) soon. But at least a message got sent to them eeleets.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They don’t care. While they wail about “urban elites” they fail to understand (and most likely will make no effort to understand) that smaller markets can’t benefit from economies of scale the way “urban elite” markets can. This applies to health care just like it does to manufacturing widgets.

      These guys are just fail at anything having to do with how actual economies function. All they understand are handouts from campaign contributors and lobbyists.

  • BearGHAZI

    Wonkette should raise money to send a clown to these events

    • aureolaborealis

      We’d have to flag them with radioactive isotopes so we could distinguish them from the people who are already there.

      • JohnBull

        In Rod we trust.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Oh, Mr. Brand, you scamp!
    I was wondering where the heck ya been.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3Ou5uFFn8Q

    • Jack Tenhet

      I respect his opinion but it doesn’t apply universally. I mean, I’m a poor. I’ve been homeless. I’ve been afraid my entire life and I knew 45 was going to be a disaster and didn’t buy into his nonsense from the beginning. My own poverty, uncertainty and desire for change did not pervert me towards a nationalist candidate who opened his platform by pushing xenophobic untruths. Brand’s argument asserts that all poor people who are, as they say “economically anxious” are willing to tilt towards the horrific just because it’s different.

      Once upon a time, I agreed with engaging 45 supporters with rationale and facts without being condescending or insulting. I was open and honest about myself and my own situation and tried to appeal to their humanity. It didn’t turn out well at all. It’s impossible to communicate with most of these people. They don’t want to hear anything that contradicts with what 45 says even if it’s pointing out something that 45 actually said in the past that contradicts what he’s done in the present. It’s so bad with most of them that even a video of 45 mocking a journalist with a disability “never happened”, despite the presence of a fully unedited video. If they will not believe what they see and immediately forget what they heard and cheered to the moment a new “alt-fact” is presented, then they won’t listen to anyone trying to explain why ending immigration is a bad idea.

      I appreciate his sentiment though.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, I don’t agree with everything Brand says either.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Doesn’t mean he’s not on point about some of it nor that he shouldn’t be saying it. It’s important we don’t become so entrenched in one view, one way of looking at things that we become, well, like the opposition. We need to be a unified force and that means putting aside our differences with our other factions like the Berniebros and uniting for a common cause with actual policies and a clear message for change of a less dystopic tone that the opposition party espouses.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        There’s some brand identification, tribalism, and other stuff that it can be hard to get around. Imagine a Tea Partier telling you in 2011: “Obamas betrayed liberals. He didn’t push to punish the banks for their malfeasance, he didn’t close Gitmo, he’s proposed this grand bargain to cut Social Security, he’s killed American citizens overseas by drone without a trial…”. It might all be true, but it wouldn’t make you vote for a Republican.

        • Jack Tenhet

          You know, you’re right. Just a few hours ago, I was talking to my wife about this very thing. I said I didn’t agree with a lot of things Obama did. I mentioned the uptick in drone strikes, his hesitance to grant the LGBTQ community the rights they have fought for for over forty years, the compromises in regard to Social Security, basically everything you said. The difference, we agreed, was that we called him on it at the time. We didn’t just pretend those things didn’t happen and we didn’t excuse then with “but Dubya. . .”

          Early on, I actually wanted Bernie. When he wasn’t the candidate and the only other real choice was 45, I voted accordingly. I went for what I thought was the best interest of myself and the country. I knew she was very flawed and don’t make excuses for it. 45 was, even the, far more flawed. That’s still reality. He is revealing more flaws by the hour and I am sure that later today (Saturday), he will tweet something insane and another layer will be peeled back. I am also sure that if Hillary had won, we’d have our saner weekends back.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • WomanInThePersistence

    Rep. Greg Walden (Sauron party) is a terrible human being. Who brings shame on those of us who grew up in southern Oregon. His Medford office phone number is 541 776-4646.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He won’t listen to me. I’m in Peter’s district.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Earl’s here.

    • Clyde Barrow

      I’m not even gay, but I think I’ll visit every gay bar in the area and write his number on the bathroom walls.

      “For the best submissive bottom ever, call Greg at…”

  • JohnQFugly

    Scalise needs time dress up in a bacon suit and go bear-huntin’ without a gun.

  • Panika MCD

    is it at all possible that Rep. Lance doesn’t even understand the difference between “reform” and “repeal and replace”? because right at the end there he said they had campaigned on reform of the ACA–which Democrats certainly did because it does need reform and handily enough if was written in a manner that made it easy to do so–but the GOP was all “REPEAL! WE HAVE A MUCH ALSO TOO BETTER DEAL!!!!!!”

    • Keith Taylor

      Besides messing horribly with ordinary people’s access to existing medical care, the GOP is likely to hamstring medical research too. Badly. Medical research takes immense medical centres and it is expensive. But like most research, it generally pays off, and in this area, it saves enormous amounts that would otherwise have to be spent caring for people after they become sick — in ways that would have been preventable if the research had been done.
      No. I’m really stupid. I was forgetting. If women are constantly getting pregnant they won’t have time to protest, and there will be lots of uneducated serfs to do the cheap labour no matter how many kick the bucket. And next month the GOP can start massive repeals of FDA safety regulations. The market will take care of that much more efficiently; if a product isn’t safe it won’t sell.
      Thalidomide? Never happened. Fake news.

      • Panika MCD

        umm…why are you responding to me as if I don’t know that?

        • Keith Taylor

          Because I got carried away. I was furious about the whole planned repeal of the ACA, and then I started thinking about funded medical research which will get the axe too — no doubt — if Trump has his way, and then I started thinking about global warming research and evolution and all the other science that this crazy administration will cripple if it can, and I read your comment about ACA repeal and I just lifted off the Launchpad without really stopping to think if it was appropriate.
          Still seething. Love science. But I did not mean to patronise you at all. I apologise if it came across that way.

          • Panika MCD

            maybe more appropriateas its own comment and not a reply.

          • Keith Taylor

            You’re right.

  • marxalot

    *Headdesking intensifies*

    Okay, y’all, looks like I have to find a doctor and a surgeon now, not later. Shit.

    • puredog

      Headdesking can cause that. It’s an exclusion in the Ryancare act, BTW.

      • Ill-Advised

        You’re right, but it’s gonna get put back in with reconcilation with the Senate bill, because that might get a Dem on board. However, there will be riders ensuring that this benefit will be temporary.

    • snark-lurker

      Do it! Get it over with.

  • whitroth

    “Lively ideological debate”. Allow me to translate this to what the Dems were thinking: “YOU MOTHERFUCKING (LITERALLY) BASTARDS want people to die in the streets, and not have birth control, so that you can have a continual source of cheap labor that you can tell to take a hike if they object to be treated like chattel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  • DahBoner

    David Brooks theory is TRUMPCARE is designed to fail in the Senate, so they can pretend they tried.

    • snark-lurker

      let us hope

    • Nena

      David Brooks keeps trying to come up with spin that make the GOP’s actions seem reasonable and usual, and he keeps failing.

    • veska

      ::crosses fingers::

    • mfp

      now i know we’re fucked for sure

      • Leliel

        Uh…no.

        If people are making plans that are based on them not working and thus, pretending to do something, THEY are the ones fucked.

        Assuming, of course, that David Brooks was a stopped clock today.

  • Longstreet63

    This whole business would make me sick, if I could still afford it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    “The American people have spoken! They can shut up now.”

  • Relativicus
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    How comes we don’ts tax the Sun?

    Actual question asked by Republicans.

    • snark-lurker

      tax solar power! that’ll pay for every thing!

      • Keith Taylor

        Come on. That’s criticising Republicans unfairly. In fact they are the real sentimental, unrealistic socialists. So far as I know, they haven’t even introduced a bill to tax everybody bar the richest ten per cent for breathing. Yet.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This is not the open thread, but I am going to digress here a moment to mention that Trader Joe’s Fruit Jellies are teh awesome.

  • msanthrope

    As a miniature woman, I for one am grateful to the GOP for looking out for my interests.

  • PUAAN Pussy Has Resist Clawz

    Donald Trump Care

    DonTCare for short.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    What is this “freedom to pick your own plan” bullshit? I never had that with group insurance for the past 40 years – I had to use whatever plan my employer gave me. At one job I had, they changed insurance companies every year for 4 years, and each plan was worse than the last one. With Obamacare, I had two choices – but the lack of other options was not the fault of the legislation, it was the fault of the greedy insurance companies.

    • Greyhame

      They want you to be free to choose from a pool of companies in Delaware (or whatever state imposes the least amount of regulation) in the same way that you’re free to choose from a variety of high-interest, exploitative credit card offers (from banks that just might screw you over, Wells Fargo style).

    • Stulexington

      Oh, that’s because you don’t actually matter, what they’re talking about is your company having the freedom to choose a super crappy but cheep plan to force you to pay half of. Only corporate persons should have rights and freedoms.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Corporate persons are certainly the only ones who get anything remotely resembling adequate dental insurance in this country. The plans offered to us working folk are totally useless unless you have a complete and perfect set of teeth.

  • mfp

    the CEO of anthem just came out in support of trump-ryan care, and the orange one said today that he’d be open to ending the medicaid expansion as soon as end of the year

    ok, thats it, then…face it folks, we are fucked

    • we’re not out yet. don’t give up.

    • Leliel

      So, literally one insurance company in desperate need of money came out in support, and Memory of a Goldfish McGee made an off-hand remark?

      Assumes facts not in evidence.

  • Stulexington

    But what about all the people who want to get scammed? Aren’t they the real victims here?

  • guppy06

    They’re spelled “Boudreaux” and “Thibodaux,” tourist!

  • GemlikeFlame

    First the first time in a while I begin to see some hope for this mess. While I was pulling for early impeachment (still haven’t given up on that horse), the growing conflicts among the House republican factions may be the next best thing: a virtual deadlock on the worst of the regressive legislation.

    The moment Trump took office we knew Planned Parenthood funding and the ACA were going to be high-profile targets, but the inability to produce any kind of functional replacement plan for ACA /PP services might make those moot.

    The olds (like me) are getting increasingly agitated about their health care and might stop respecting party loyalties to protect their benefits. The AARP isn’t real happy with any of the proposals being floated, and their members are both vocal and vote.

    It’s one thing to conceptually stick it to the blacks and illegal foreigners, and quite another when your mom’s healthcare premiums just tripled.

    Things like the wall and the general incompetence of the incoming administration are kabuki theater. The real fight is now in the House among the GOP. The mid-terms should serve to further divide them. I’ll take stasis over regression any day.

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