You may have heard that if the health care “plan” put forward by Paul Ryan and Donald Trump is put into action, an estimated 15 million people in America would lose their coverage. Maybe you were concerned about this? Of course you were, because you are a very shallow person. Unlike Paul Ryan!

Ryan appeared on Hugh Hewitt’s radio jubilee on Friday to discuss the new GOP health care plan, and when Hewitt asked him about the whole 15 million people losing their insurance thing, Ryan stated “We always know, you’re never going to win a coverage beauty contest when it’s free market versus government mandates.”

Ryan seems to believe that this will be simply because people will choose not to have health insurance because they aren’t being forced to by the government. Surely, this will have nothing to do with the fact that it will be much more expensive than the ACA because the subsidies are going to be a lot lower.

“If the government says, ‘Thou shall buy our health insurance,’ the government estimates are going to say people will comply and it will happen. And when you replace that with, ‘We’re going to have a free market and you buy what you want to buy,’ they’re going to say not nearly as many people are going to do that. That’s just going to happen. And so you’ll have those coverage estimates. We assume that’s going to happen. That’s not our goal. Our goal is not to show a pretty piece of paper that says, ‘We’re mandating great things for Americans.’”

All you liberals with your health care coverage beauty contests and pretty pieces of paper! Not wanting people to die of preventable diseases just because they’re poor! What is next, Honey Boo Boos, do you want tiaras for everyone too? SUBSIDIZED SPANX AND BODY GLITTER? Do you want the government to buy Vaseline for your teeth?

See, Paul Ryan gets people. He’s a really deep guy. He gets that a lot of people just don’t want “health insurance” or to be able to go see a doctor when they are sick. He also knows that if he were poor, he would be the good kind of poor person. The “poor but proud” kind of poor person. The kind of poor person who would gladly watch his own children die before accepting a cent from the government! Sure, he would be sad, but he would find immense comfort in knowing that sacrifice was worth it, because at least some rich person didn’t have to pay a little extra for health insurance. That is the kind of poor person Ryan would be, and he wants to give every poor person in the country the opportunity to be that. The kind of poor person who doesn’t disappoint Paul Ryan with their selfishness and desire for fancy rich people things like gold-plated truffle caviar basic health care.

Later in the segment, Ryan explained, “We’re not going to get into a bidding war with the left about how much we can mandate, or put entitlements out there for people.”

Paul Ryan’s health care plan won’t win any of those coverage beauty contests, it’s true. But it’s got heart. It’s gonna make health care really expensive for people who make less money, and then it’s going to put a cap on Medicaid.

As Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney pointed out on Wednesday, people having health insurance is not the end goal here. What they want is for everyone who has the money to afford health insurance to go see the doctor they want to go see. Which probably still won’t be the case because you can really only see doctors that take your insurance anyway. But it’s the spirit of the thing that matters, really.

And hey — as Kansas Congressman Roger Marshall explained earlier this week, poor people don’t want health care anyway! They are very happy being unhealthy, just like how homeless people are cool with not having homes. It’s just who they are!

According to data compiled by the New York Times, the majority of those who stand to lose the most in health care subsidies are those who voted for Trump — so it’s probably safe to say they are more than happy to either lose their health care or pay a lot more for it, if it means that some rich person will pay less and also see whatever doctor he wants. And while I may not care much for them, for that kind of selfless sacrifice, I’m gonna say that they, of all people, deserve at least to win Miss Congeniality.

Also, Paul Ryan is a goddamned sociopath.

[Talking Points Memo]

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  • Bill D. Burger

    ot..but “beauty contest” and a little insight as to how fucking gullible and stupid the eneral public is (you already knew that)….and how perfectly on target Dan Savage is. (we knew that too)

    I f**king hate Melania Trump,” Savage said in the episode. Noting that some have come to view the first lady as a “pretty princess in the tower locked up by the orange ogre” since her husband’s inauguration, Savage called Melania Trump out for her apparent transgressions.

    “Pretty Melania went on TV to push the same racist conspiracy theories about Barack Obama that her husband did. She’s an immigrant who doesn’t give a sh*t about the plight of other immigrants,” he said. “She’s famously a plagiarist, and she’s brought ruinous lawsuits against journalists and bloggers, accusing them ― amongst other things ― of potentially interfering with her ability to profit off her role as first lady.”

    Later, Savage pointed to a March 2 ThinkProgress article detailing the first lady’s recent visit to Children’s National Medical Center, a hospital in Washington D.C., where she called on “the gift of nature and the beauties of the outdoors” to heal seriously ill children.
    Her time would be better spent, he said, having “a word with her loathsome husband” about his plans to repeal the Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare, and cut the Environmental Protection Agency’s budget.

    Unfortunately for Savage, his words might be falling on deaf ears, at least for now. The first lady is receiving her highest approval ratings to date. ]

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    With all the dead people who vote, this could be bad news for Republicans.

    • Nounverb911

      Except for the Chicago republicans.

  • memzilla Ω

    Somebody bet me a dollar the Trumpcare doesn’t cut federal munniez for Viagra.

    • Nounverb911

      In fact they’ll change the name to GOPra and give to all peoples for free.

    • C4TWOMAN


  • Nounverb911

    Simple question Paul. how many people that voted for you use Obamacare?

    • msanthropesmr

      A lot of them Katie.

    • Dutchman

      The better question is: How many people that voted for you benefit from many of the provisions under the ACA?

      What a lot of people forget is that there are direct and indirect benefits of ACA even for people that have employer provided plans and for those on Medicare. Also too many others that don’t even fall into those situations.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Beauty contest–that’s what he’s calling healthcare coverage?

    Paulie honey?

  • msanthropesmr

    I’m gonna keep banging this drum, but statistically, the sicker you are the more likely out were to vote for dumbass mcanus.

  • Zonath

    This is the guy who is always trotted out as the “intellectual” of the Republican party.

    Of course, compared to guys like Gowdy, Gohmert, and Trump, he probably is, gods help us.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Being the most intellectual Republican is like being the sweetest smelling porta-potty on the third day of an overcrowded chilli cook off.

  • Dutchman

    I’ve made this statement repeatedly and I hope that all of the lovely and kind Not Commenters here at Wonkerville will take it to heart and spread it widely.

    The primary problem with the refundable tax credit scheme is not that it won’t be a sufficient amount to purchase needed healthcare coverage. The primary problem is that once restrictions are removed and/or relaxed on insurers the tax credits won’t allow most or many people to purchase coverage because it will be a product that doesn’t exist at any price.

    • PubOption

      I think that something will be available, if only as cover for the Repubs. What the cost will be and what the extent of coverage will be are yet to be determined.

      • Dutchman

        Possibly, but the T&Cs will be such that unless you helped Richard Kimball catch the one armed man your eligibility will be denied.

        Ah crap, I think i just outed myself as an oldz…

    • C4TWOMAN

      I feel terrible I don’t understand this issue enough to add anything intelligent.
      Upvoted anyway.

  • whitroth

    You forgot that Ryan is also clearly violating his Oath of Office, and ought to be tossed out into the dumpster by a couple of homeless but LARGE guys….

  • DerrickWildcat

    This morning on, Fox and Friends: Oklahoma woman that caught cancer from Obamacare is now cancer free since switching to Trumpcare.

    • Nounverb911
    • Clyde Barrow

      You left the best part out. Instead of traditional chemo & radiation therapies, she used fracking fluid, pesticides, and prayer to destroy the evil liberal cancer! It’s an American success story!

      • Nounverb911

        So more profits for SecState Rexxon?

  • x111e7thst

    She is a plastic doll and he spends all his time in the gym but I bet she could kick his ass

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Anna Rompage

    We’re going to have a free market and you buy what you can afford. And if you cannot afford to buy a plan that actually cover your healthcare needs, then your death is just god’s will and punishment for not being as successful as you should have been” Paul Ryan

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      If God wanted you to live, he would have given you rich parents.

      • That, or you would have been born in Canada. Or France. Or Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Finland…

    • Clyde Barrow

      That god guy sure is a fucking asshole, not unlike his worshipers.

  • Swampay

    ‘We’re going to have a free market and you buy what you want to buy,’ if you can afford it, not that we care. And if you can’t afford it you may die. Not that we care.


  • memzilla Ω

    I’ve been diagnosed with a case of Ryanophobia, Trumpnosis, and stabbyphilia.

  • Nounverb911

    ‘We’re mandating great things for Americans.’
    Okay, the men are covered, what about the womenz?

    • Longstreet63

      They can probably get onto their husband’s plan…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    They may as well just come out and say it: this is a tax cut for the wealthy disguised as a healthcare plan.

    • memzilla Ω

      I’ve been saying this for a couple weeks. I wish every Rethuglican turd gurgler were confronted with this every time they go on tee vee.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Every plan is a tax cut for the wealthy/deregulation/fuck the poor plan.

      Or as Joe/Heilemann/Halperin so euphemistically put it – tax reform/regulatory reform/entitlement reform.

    • Jgb979

      And it will effectively destroy Medicaid.

      (HUGE WIN for conservatives – they couldn’t remotely care less about anything else)

  • Suttree

    Well since you put it that way Paul, now I really want to die quickly. Mostly to get away from YOU PEOPLE!

  • Undocumented Skwerl!
    • Nounverb911

      Are they cutting Jay Cutler too, also?

      • DerrickWildcat

        Jay Cutler won’t remember his name by the time he’s 43.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Cut him yesterday.

  • Swampay

    As Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney pointed out on Wednesday, people having health insurance is not the end goal here.

    He’s right. People having health care is the end goal. Maybe we could cut the insurance people out of the mix entirely? Maybe single payer?

    • Longstreet63

      The end goal is people opting out of health insurance “voluntarily” so that the whole concept may be killed permanently.
      This echoes their tactics against the “Great Society” anti-poverty programs: cut all its funding until it no longer works, then claim forever that “We tried that and it failed.”

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    He would be the kind of poor person who benefits from government programs then works the rest of his life to screw others out of them because they were on them for the wrong reasons?

    • Dutchman

      Certainly that wouldn’t be a sideways swipe at Ben “Immigrants” Carson?

  • Clyde Barrow

    America won’t be great again until Polio makes a thriving comeback, and ‘Leave it to Beaver’ marathons & John Wayne war movies run on state run television 24/7. Get over it libz!!1!1

  • stankbait
  • Anna Rompage

    I can’t believe this fucking moran, who believes in the sophomoric ideas laid out in Atlas Shrugged, is the person who’s in charge of coming up with our nation’s healthcare plans…

    • Nounverb911

      Isn’t Ryan one of the politicians that Ayn Rand warned us about?

  • Persistent Demme

    We need this.
    Remember those fabulous tiger cubs?
    Cats and dogs living together!

    • Yr. Gma

      Aussies are the best dogs.

      • Persistent Demme

        And that’s a male!
        No natural “mothering” instincts, just a gentle, “smart enough to know they’re babies,” dog.

        • Gosala

          Ate you sure? It might be Trans.

        • Yr. Gma

          Aussies are smarter than we are. Seriously. They can spell.

        • Yr. Gma

          Oh! A beautiful black tri. My late pup was a black tri Aussie. Best dog I ever had. Too smart for me, and the best frisbee dog. The companion pup there is mighty curte, too.

          • These days Oliver, the overgrown Aussie, is built for comfort and not for speed. Talas, the mutt, on the otherhand….

    • Longstreet63

      Hey, those stuffed animals are all leopards!
      That’s racist!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    And when you replace that with, ‘We’re going to have a free market and you buy what you want to buy,’ they’re going to say not nearly as many people are going to do that.

    “Or not buy anything at all because you can’t afford it. Same difference, right?” – ZEGS Ryan.
    I’ve seen mold samples with better reasoning skills.

    • snark-lurker

      Ah sweet freedumb.

  • Anna Rompage

    Irony, the people who were bitching & pissed off about Obama’s promise of you can keep your doctor, supporting the GOP who promised a “Better Way”, when that way is a life of misery and an early death for many…

    • Claire

      Yes, but now instead of having to go to all the trouble of finding a new doctor, you can just die of freedom!

    • msanthropesmr

      You never got to choose your own doctor. Ever. Unless you didn’t need health insurance.

  • Nounverb911
  • *ahem* SOCIOPATH LIBELZ!!!!!!1!

  • Oneofthebobs

    I wonder if Ryan plans to fail upward with this. If it won’t pass he can go on blaming Obama, but if it passes the Rs will own it. Winning this would be bad for Ryan, and America.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I would like to be on the death panel.
    Vote DerrickWildcat for Death Panel 2017!

    • Jeff Ackerman

      We are into recycling, I want the option of being sent to the soylent green factory when I go in front of the death panel.

      • DerrickWildcat

        Duly noted.
        Do I have your vote?

      • Longstreet63

        Sorry, Liberal, that whole job-killing recycling hoax is Fake News. It said on Breitbart that throwing trash everywhere prevents earthquakes, so from now on all poor people will be left on the street when they die.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Soylent Orange

  • OTB

    “See, Paul Ryan gets people.”

    That paragraph is the single most devastating critique of the insanity of the reactionary position that I’ve yet seen.

  • Nounverb911
    • That’s my gerrymandered house rep. slobbering on Ryan.

      I would save the cat food for my cats.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Jonny On Maui

    We need to remember something. Everything that comes out of Paul’s mouth isn’t his words or ideas. The shit that comes out are the hopes, dreams and policies of his owners, the ones who profit.

    You want change for the better? Go after the owners, the slavers that still exist today. Until they start to lose blood and treasure, the slavers will not change.

  • Shoto

    I just finished up a call to one of my senators’ offices. I articulated several points during the conversation, including my strong suggestion that the Democratic Party (and the beltway press) stop treating ZEGS Ryan as a serious person / policy wonk. In fact, ZEGS Ryan is a clown, an empty suit, and “a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” (Yes, I told the nice lady who answered the phone exactly that.) I noted further that challenging Ryan directly with his own crackpot ideas would cause him to collapse like a cheap card table.

    Have I mentioned that I loathe this fucker with the heat of 10,000 suns?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
  • Clyde Barrow

    Our new Russian based healthcare plan will be the best ever!

    1) Here’s a shot of vodka, comrade.
    2) Now march into that melted reactor and shovel sand on it.
    3) Turn around, and you’ll be shot by patriots.
    4) You’re not dead yet? You have stamina, comrade!

  • Crystalclear12

    He didn’t end his interview with “let them eat cake” by any chance?

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      It was certainly implied.

    • TJ Barke

      For all intents and purposes…

    • spritely_troll

      Exactly what he meant.

  • Shoto

    Voucher Hospital: Where good doctors have bold ideas.

  • Bill Slider

    I read that IDon’tCare Care will not cover drug addiction treatment. Other than prenatal care for men, it doesn’t sound like a well thought out proposal.

  • Villago Delenda Est
    • TJ Barke

      Jon Snow libel!

  • Bureaucrap

    Hey, poor people, it’s not like you matter, anyway. Once you donate $10,000 of your $6,000 salary to the RNC, maybe then we can talk.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I would appreciate it if contestant #6, Mr. Greedy McBlackheart, would give up his health care paid for by the American people and practice his flaming-baton-of-cruelty-and-lies routine harder before he comes back out on stage next time.

  • Nounverb911
    • Relativicus

      “You can keep your lungs.”

  • TJ Barke

    Praise boss when morning workbells chime
    Praise him for bits of overtime
    Praise him who’s wars we love to fight
    Praise him fat leech and parasite.

  • Crystalclear12

    This also is also the guy that probably thinks that women have abortions because they want to use the money saved on shoes.

  • Nounverb911
    • DerrickWildcat

      what’s that thing on the table?

      • boyblue123

        a sleeve of cookies?

        • LucindathePook

          chocolate chip

      • puredog

        I think it’s an open tube of Ritz crackers.

      • TJ Barke

        The lady’s elbow! Call Ms. Manners!

      • Longstreet63

        It’s an amphibious undersea creature related to a lamprey, known as a “sea sleeve”. They often come out of coastal waters to hunt and are very aggressive, attacking anything up to ten times their size, but stealthy on approach. They are highly venomous and have multiple rows of lamprey-like teeth on their cylindrical heads with which to bore into their victims.
        They are mostly registered Republicans.

      • natoslug

        Female condom and a chocolate chip cookie. And some ants, surrounding the cookie.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “Health care is not a right!” and
    “We aren’t going to win a coverage beauty contest.”

    Alex, what are things never said in a children’s hospital?

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner

    My friend – the same one who, sadly, thinks Pence would make a better President than Trump – also thinks Ryan is “not that bad”. And this is coming from a fellow loyal Democrat and Hillary volunteer.

    I think he may have been hanging around his Trump friend a little too often.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Reminds me of podcast host Dave Rubin. Starts off on TYT promoting progressivism, leaves the show to start his own, then slowly starts catering to the Alt-Right movement. I though he was just doing it for the $$, but perhaps he was not being entirely honest from the get go.

    • TJ Barke

      Well, they might not be quite so virulently racist. But that’s a small consolation…

    • h4rr4r

      Pence might be lawful evil, but Trump is chaotic evil.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Pence might be competent evil. An improvement?

        • TJ Barke

          Pence is probably lawful evil, Trump is chaotic evil.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Indiana says “lol”

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I did use a question mark.

        • h4rr4r

          Competent at being evil, I think you mean.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        They’re both horrible, surround themselves with people who actively want to destroy everything, and have probably extensively legally dubious or completely illegal dealings. It’s like choosing between mercury laced spoiled hamburger or a sketchy restaurant’s steak spiked with arsenic.

        • h4rr4r


    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      I should’ve scrolled down, I had almost the exact same exchange re Ryan with someone who also is a lifelong Democrat. I think some of it is a mental self preservation because it’s too much to think every main republican in our government right now has either a malicious intent, or at best doesn’t care about fallout as long as they get theirs.

      “I mean, sure, Tr*mp is a bad guy, but just because someone doesn’t agree with your outlook on things doesn’t make them bad. Like, Paul Ryan’s not a bad man, I don’t think he wakes up thinking about how to screw other people”

      I mean.. does he not? And even if he doesn’t, is that literally the only bar one has to cross to not suck now? Not actively messing with others? Halp.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        Glad to know I’m not the only one in this predicament.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Yeah, I need to come up with a better way to handle it, it’ll come up again, or something like it.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Trumpism is shown to be contagious, yet there will never be a vaccine because they don’t believe in them and there will never be a treatment because healthcare is evil.

  • Shoto

    For those who may have missed Charles Pierce’s take-down of Ryan yesterday.

  • puredog

    “. . .poor but proud’ kind of poor person. . .”
    Which, as Charles Pierce has pointed out, is just Paul Ryan all over and always has been.


    • Jack Tenhet

      Love the Glengarry Glen Ross reference.

      “Put the healthcare down! Healthcare is for closers!”

  • Tallmutha

    If this whole Ryancare thing is an attempt by the Republicans in Congress to distract us from Trump by being even bigger assholes than he is, I kinda have to give them credit–it’s almost working on me.

  • JMP

    Of course Ryan’s a sociopath; he actually gives credence to Ayn Rand’s bullshit ideology, which is basically just a pseudo-intellectual justification for being a selfish asshole, for sociopathic behavior. There’s a reason her bullshit is never taken seriously in actual philosophy.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      There are functional members of society with antisocial personality disorder and they don’t act anything like Paul Ryan or Ayn Rand. I don’t think they appreciate the comparison.

      • Gosala

        We’ve been down this road before, haven’t we, you and I?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          You know one of my majors is psychology, right?

          • Gosala


    • Me not sure

      It seems odd to me that both Ayn Rand And Benito Mussolini had a weird preoccupation with trains running on time. I’ll just drop this off again.

    • Jack Tenhet

      You know that Ayn Rand, after all her railings against things like Social Security, once she got sick enough was convinced to get on it herself. It’s a little fact that people like Ryan will never admit to.

      One day Ryan will be sick and dying and when he’s done gutting the medical field to the point that it no longer helps no one, he will be forced to seek help from the agencies he wants to see destroyed.

      This irony will be lost to him even as what passes for his soul seeps out of him.

      • JMP

        Ryan also lived off of Social Security survivors’ benefits after his dad died when he was a teenager. But that doesn’t stop him from trying to take it away from everybody else.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Yeah, we did put him through college. It’s crappy that Ryan gets to reap the benefit while robbing everyone else of the same.

  • Bitter Scribe

    the majority of those who stand to lose the most in health care subsidies are those who voted for Trump

    And Fox News will tell them that it’s the fault of Obama, Hillary and the liberals. And they’ll believe it.

    I understand you can’t protect people indefinitely from the consequences of their own stupidity. But why can’t we protect ourselves from it?

  • anwisok
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Baby rhino makes me laugh.

  • kareemachan

    “…or put entitlements out there for people.”

    Um, isn’t that what they are doing for rich people?

    • Infrequentcontributor

      No, no, no. You don’t understand. Wealth distribution according to the rules made by the powerful and rich is fine and just and as god intended. Wealth redistribution is an entitlement and an evil to be avoided at all costs.

      • Vecchioivan

        Right. Everyone knows that poor people have too much money and rich people don’t have enough.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Good on him, because his beauty is not near deep enough to be shallow in the first damn place.

  • Jenny

    The nice part, now all the olds, sick, the poors, and their family members who might have to pay all those extra healthcare expenses are going, what the fuck is this shit man???

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I’m ready to go home and forget this shit and just get lost in a Buffy marathon.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    The purpose of a healthcare plan is to provide people with healthcare, Ryan.

    If it doesn’t do that, it’s not a healthcare plan and you can shove it up your arse. It’s not a fucking “beauty contest”, it’s the purpose of the fucking thing. The freedom to not have healthcare is way way down the fucking list of things it should provide. Fuck.

    • Jack Tenhet

      For years, we’ve already had the “freedom” to not have healthcare. States opted out and left people like my wife without an affordable option for healthcare. Her jobs were all with small businesses that did not provide any benefits. We paid the mandate without much complaining except that she couldn’t afford insurance, not because of the mandate but because the mandate was cheaper than private insurance was.

      This is what they want for the entire country. We will pay the brunt of it without getting anything for our money while the wealthy get tax breaks for, urm, reasons. It’s the ACA without the “Affordable Care”, so it’s just an “A” proposed by a group of “A”holes.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I have a simple question.

    IF it’s possible for the free market, or churches, or local communities, or whatever-the-hell non-governmental entities Republicans actually approve of to somehow come up with a solution to the healthcare crisis in America – if there is a GOP-kosher way to provide affordable access to healthcare to pretty much everyone –

    THEN why doesn’t the GOP just put out plans that these organizations can follow to do exactly that? That wouldn’t be a government handout! That wouldn’t be an oppressive governmental bureaucracy! That would just be guidance. Helpful suggestions. Nothing UnRepublican about that, right?

    Why don’t they?

    Because they have no such fucking plans. And neither does anyone else.

    What they have is faith. Faith that such avenues exist, just no one’s figured it out yet.

    You know what? Fuck faith. And fuck them.

    • Longstreet63

      To be fair, it’s not so much that they have faith it exists and someone will figure it out…it’s just faith and they don’t actually care if anyone figures it out. In fact, they’d prefer no one did, so that they could continue to operate on faith.
      Kinda like repealing Obama Care: They were hoping never to be forced to put it into practice. It was to useful to campaign on.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Good point. I’m actually talking about the less-evil Republicans. What you’re describing definitely exists also.

    • JoeChristmas

      Maybe some of those tax cuts will trickle down to blood pressure checks at Safeway.

    • Jack Tenhet

      If any of those things worked, then we’d have never had a need for the ACA in the first place, or any other forms of social welfare. Things like healthcare are about stability and the free market is notoriously unstable. If our quality of care depended on the instability of charity or the free market, you’d end up with a lot more “economic anxiety” and a lot more dead people. Business and industry would collapse without under-educated, low-skilled workers alive or healthy enough to do the work and the middle class would collapse and become the low class, leaving only the super wealthy and the super poor.

      In short, it would be like Russia.

      • Rags

        It’s not just instability. Health care is NOT a market. There is no possibility to be an informed consumer and no market transparency to make decisions based on cost or quality.

        • H0mer0

          Just looking at the haircuts on the repugs, one might get the impression that they see healthcare as a “Hair Cuttery” type of business. We can choose whether or not to go to a professional to have it “done right” or hide the mistakes in my waves, but there is a limit to what I can do for myself to prevent myself from ever needing healthcare performed by a professional and “done right.” It’s not a commodity or service you can treat like that, except for things like botox and boob jobs.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I’m not going to enter a beauty contest about whether my answers are right. I’m not going to get into a bidding war with the smart kids about who can best factor a polynomial. My goal is not to show a pretty piece of paper that says, the School Board is mandating great things for Students.”
    — Teenage Paul Ryan, desperately trying to move the goalposts and not fail Algebra

  • Longstreet63

    If Ryan was poor, he’d just leverage his family’s construction company and its government contracts to supplement his Social Security Survivors benefits. If everyone did that, there would be no problem!

  • Master Contrail Program

    Paul Ryan’s plan may not win the tiara, but it’s a shoe-in for Ms. Congenitally.

  • Chadwells

    I got nothing nice to say about this mother fucking Ryan nunce…..just shit that will get me arrested.

    Man…I’d love to [redacted] his fucking teeth…with votes.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “My health plan will cover everybody.”
    — Donald Trump

    “We always knew our health plan would cover fewer people.”
    — Paul Ryan

    “They’re both right, if you consider…look, over there George Soros is funding protesters!”
    — Breitbart

    • Jack Tenhet

      “We’re going to have insurance for everybody,” Trump said. “There was a
      philosophy in some circles that if you can’t pay for it, you don’t get
      it. That’s not going to happen with us.” People covered under the law
      “can expect to have great health care. It will be in a much simplified form. Much less expensive and much better.”– 45 on Jan 15th, corutesy Wapo.

    • Lambsendbeds

      The left needs to keep playing those vids of Trump saying that he was going to come up with a plan to insure everyone with better care for less money over and over, the way the GOP did with Obama saying you could keep your plan and your doctor. Every Teump voter needs to be reminded of the lies Teump told to get their votes.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Yeah, so last night at the dinner table someone not me says “I mean, come on, it’s not like Paul Ryan is a bad PERSON, he just is fighting for a very different set of priorities”.

    I wasn’t even sure how to respond. I mean… isn’t having poor people not die a priority one would expect a decent human to have? Am I related to people who think basic medical care, including mental health coverage should not be a basic human right? I don’t care for either answer. I also see how when one is comfortable and has a large amount of relative privilege, how easy it is to treat things like this as ‘ideas’ and not ‘people’s actual lives’.

    • mackafritz

      His priorities are loathsome and will hurt millions. But he’s not a bad guy.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Indeed. My reaction after WTF was pretty much, agh, I need to get over to Wonkette immediately.

      • DahBoner

        Bad guy = Democrat.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You know who else just had a very different set of priorities?

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet


      • Lance Thrustwell

        Ed Gein?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Michael Flynn?

      • Longstreet63

        Howdy Doody, Communist Sleeper Agent?

      • Jack Tenhet

        The Red Skull?

        It can’t be Hitler, the answer is never Hitler.

      • BeachBum

        Louis XIV ?

      • Jack Tenhet

        OJ Simpson?

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        Andrew Jackson?

      • Querolous

        Marcus Junius Brutus?

      • H0mer0

        the hand that rocks the cradle?

    • DahBoner

      I spoke to a very rich man yesterday who was a writer and a Racing Sailboat Captain. He didn’t seem very interested in my story about Trump being too scared to sleep on his Superyacht because it was rocking and he had a panic attack and had to get off and get a hotel nearby.
      You kknh

    • Jack Tenhet

      “He’s not a bad guy really, he just keeps severed heads in his freezer.”

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        It’s not like he eats them, he just has different ideas about dismembered body storage than you do.

        • Jack Tenhet

          LMFAO! You win my internet today!

  • DahBoner
  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trumpkin back up plan. Just send healthcare bills to Donald Trump, world’s most successful businessman and a sincere Christian, and ask him to help a little with money from his vast fortune What could go wrong?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    He’s odious in person, but the author of this piece is a pretty good writer. One of the few Republicans I can stand to read anymore. He summarizes Ryan’s situation pretty well here, I think:

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The GOP as a “Worker’s Party” Hilarious. I knew he was in trouble when he sited Ross Douthat.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Well, I still think he manages a certain birds-eye view of the whole thing, which is increasingly rare these days, especially among Regrubs. Of course, he’s an NRO never-Trumper, so I suppose a lot of the base these days would just call him a RINO.

  • Shorter Ryan: We care more for our ideology than people.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Longer shorter Ryan: we don’t know the meaning of the words “ideology,” “people,” or “healthcare,” we just know we like it when Beltway Pundits call us teh intalektchules.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yup. And you’ve just summarized the entire modern GOP.

    • Longstreet63

      Oh, they care about people. They care very much about two kinds: The deserving, who should get everything, and already have most of it, and about the undeserving, who should be punished as much as possible for being insufficiently deserving. You cant spite someone if you don’t care.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Prosperity Gospel at work in gubmint.

  • Msgr_MΩment


  • JoeChristmas

    Access! Freedom!! Choice!!1! Competition!11!!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I thought the main republican critique of Obamacare was that people can’t afford it.

    Now they’re proposing something more expensive and calling Obamacare an “entitlement”.

    • Longstreet63

      Buzzword bingo. Any Democratic plan is an entitlement; any Republican plan is the Will of The Voters.

  • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

    Except for the part where he *wasn’t* THAT kind of quiet poor person…and actually helped himself to gubbmint entitlements like a common orphan.

  • Sophia

    Sean Spicer admitted Trump lied about ‘phony’ job numbers and reporters laughed it off. Now people are furious

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Sounds like they’re just getting tired of making up lies, and are becoming aware that they don’t have to. Next stop is actually shooting someone on 5th avenue to see if anyone cares.

    • Lambsendbeds

      According to the story, all the sycophantic reporters in the Press Room LOL’d at this disclosure. That pisses me off just as much as what Spicy admitted.

  • veska
    • Lefty Wright

      Sound like some far left progressives and people like Sarandon. They hated Hillary so much they would rather see Trump in office.

      • Annercrespo

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj324d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash324MarketClubGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj324d:….,…………..

  • calliecallie

    “…do you want tiaras for everyone too? SUBSIDIZED SPANX AND BODY GLITTER? Do you want the government to buy Vaseline for your teeth?”
    What kind of government scam are you wonketters running here?

    • veska

      Tiaras and body glitter sounds kind of amazing, actually.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      No subsidized Spanx, no Peace!

      • ahughes798

        No Spanks?
        No Thanks!

  • BeachBum

    I haven’t read the bill, but I doubt Trump has either. I don’t think it has anything to do with “fixing” healthcare or even health insurance. It is essentially cutting Medicare to pay for tax cuts for the rich. Health insurance is the tool, and a disaster in healthcare is the result. It is the ideology of transferring wealth from poor/middle class to the rich.
    Ryan has more schemes up his sleeve to do more of it under the guise of “fixing and reform.”

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Trumpcare has all the beauty and grace of Donnie T in drag with a sash

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      …aaaand there goes lunch…

  • Mavenmaven

    Ryan: Come on guys, take a few for the team.

    • Begin Anew Day


      Ryan: Come on guys, line up in this trench. Come on guys, put on these blindfolds. Come on guys, hold still now. Come on guys, quit squirming, you’re going to spoil my aim.

  • Iron Monkey

    Ryan is a good target but, not to put too fine a point on things, he is no more than a lackey, a class traitor and an enemy of the people. The real enemies are the Koch Brothers, James Dimon, Sheldon Adelson and other members of the haute bourgeois.

    • Viktor DoKaren

      Yes, but Ryan is the one presenting and promoting the monstrosity. And the one who was elected. (Help me! I live in Wisconsin!)

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I am going to hope and pray, and work with my Indivisible group, Pollyanna that I am, for universal health coverage. Maybe this monstrosity, this fiasco by these lying sociopaths, is the darkness before the dawn.
    Why don’t they just say “We really don’t care if people die for lack of money to pay for healthcare”? Why do they have such a problem saying that? It’s so clearly what they believe.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They need to lie to get elected.

  • Bitter Scribe

    A health plan that helps practically no one just can’t compete with one that helps a lot of people. And you shouldn’t ask it to. It’s not fair.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Paul Ryan knows what he’s doing.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.

      • Stulexington

        I actually attribute it to both. I mean most of the malicious people I’ve met are intensely stupid too.

        • mfp

          this^^, always and forever

  • The Librarian

    “That’s not our goal. Our goal is not to show a pretty piece of paper that says, ‘We’re mandating great things for Americans.’” WTF!? Did not Trump not say how beautiful and wonderful health care would be? Scammed again!!!111!!!

  • Paperless Tiger

    They’ll float awhile on the good work that Obama did with the economy, but meanwhile they’re cutting the legs off it, so it’s gonna crash to earth soon. The Republican mantra is that the poor are dependent on the rich. History says the opposite. It’s coming.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The rich never think about who actually earned all that money – they assume they’re entitled to it, because, well, they’re rich.

  • Begin Anew Day

    “…The kind of poor person who would gladly watch his own children die before accepting a cent from the government!”

    The poor tykes would be better off if that happened. Less Paul Ryan is the best Paul Ryan.

    I know I can be a bit harsh. But I always come off as Saint Francis of Assisi whenever I am compared to the GOP.

    I am also much more beautiful than your average GOP.

    • Weevie

      This guy is blatantly saying “So what?” “Hah, Hah, Hah!!!” “Now you know why I’m always grinning when I sit behind Dumb Uncle Turnip!”

      • H0mer0

        [his stupid grin looks like HE is the one who fell off the turnip truck.]

  • Jgb979

    “Free market vs government mandates”.

    One of the reasons Paul Ryan is such a dangerous politician is he gets away with complete nonsense like this.

    It’s almost like he doesn’t know what either of those words means. I for one always comparison price shop chemotherapy treatments.

    • H0mer0

      [your snark works on so many levels, like we have to convince MBAs, not pharmDs or MDs why a certain med is better for this patient. I’ve taken to attaching huge files to my prior authorization requests. ]

  • Weevie

    Oh, C’mon Ryan. Remember when the tax vs. penalty thing went in front of uh, uh, lemme see here, the SUPREME COURT?????!!!!!
    And that’s how so many uninsured people got insurance? And that’s what made PPACA successful?
    No? Too many barbell sessions, dumbell?

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    As it was recently explained to me on Facebook, it is not some guy named John Meyer’s (that is his name) problem if I die of my treatable medical condition because I cannot possibly earn enough money for pay for $800 a month treatment, as I am not HIS responsibility, and the ACA currently forces him to personally pay all of my bills, which is robbery!

    According to John, allowing a competitive market would drive costs down so that everyone can afford all the medical care they need! Since that’s the system we had before the ACA, I’m not sure just why it didn’t work that way at all and in fact health care was super unaffordable and people were dying left and right because they couldn’t afford it. But it’s probably like trickle down economics–we just need to give it another 40 years to start working.

    Also, just to spite John, I’m going to sign up for cable TV with the HBO package and everything, because right now he is still required to personally pay all of my bills. Fuck you John!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      If the dipshit is insured, he’s already paying for other people’s bills. And if he’s not, he’ll piss and moan and whine and insist he’s entitled to free emergency care, and really should not have to sell his house to pay for his chemo, because how is that FAIR and what about his freedumbs?

      • DuchessD’Orleans

        I tried to explain to him about how insurance works and that he is already paying other people’s bills, but he insisted “Nu-uh that is NOT how insurance works!” So I told him I hope he dies slowly of ass cancer and then blocked him, as you do. And yeah, when he gets the ass cancer that I dearly hope I have the power to make people get, the $800 a month premium he pays because he makes 100k a year (for his whole family, btw) will NOT cover his chemo, and then other people will be paying HIS bills. What a deadbeat this Ass Cancer John is.

    • Weevie

      A competitive market under something like ACA where costs can be controlled can bring down prices over time.

      A competitive market with a captive customer base operating in a free market won’t ever bring prices down. Why should they, people will buy their product anyway until it gets so expensive there’s no point. How many people they lose due to pricing is well known to insurance companies whose businesses are based on statistics. They know exactly how to get the revenue they want.

      So, yeah John is waaaay off!

    • The Flaming Carrot

      The invisible hand is giving us the finger.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    As usual, Paul Krugman sums it up trenchantly: The G.O.P. wants to “comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted.”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Here’s a photo of a dumbbell. And also a set of weights.×3071.jpg

    • Weevie

      growing a good pinocchio there!

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Oh, what a beauty! (Throws up in mouth)

  • Pookabun

    Having Medicaid has literally saved my life a couple times. I don’t have it anymore but I am more than happy to pay a few bucks in taxes so some other people can live too. Seems like a positive thing to me, but what do I know I guess. Seriously fuck Ryan and all his asshole Republican pals, no idea how they sleep at night.

  • DahBoner

    Ryan isn’t a skilled politician inexplicably losing his touch, he’s a con artist who started to believe his own con; Republicans didn’t hammer out a workable plan because there is no such plan, and anyway they have no idea what that would involve.

    • H0mer0

      but unlike the golden here (I used to have one this color named “Sunshine”) they don’t look adorable doing it.(See picture below of Iron Ryan)

  • nick kelly

    Ryan produces his pie chart and points to the blue sliver of sick people and says it’s wrong that the large red section of the well should subsidize them.
    Stephen Colbert points out that this is the idea of insurance.

    What I want to add is that EVERYONE is going to end up in that blue sliver.
    The difference between health insurance on your body and fire insurance on your house is that you will certainly need the former. Your house will most likely never burn down but some part of your body will break down.

    • nick kelly

      Even if like me you’re not a ‘joiner’, we are ALL in this problematic thing called the human condition.

  • pgjack

    Yes, Ryan sucks. And I will feel bad for Trump voters – well, not really. Tea Party fools and purely Trump fools gave us this sad, so sad situation and I hope they suffer terribly for it. That’s the only thing that will change their moronic voting patterns. I do feel bad for the millions of people that want a cohesive society and voted for one who will be trampled under the oil soaked shoes of the right wing. Without society humans are just another brand of cat food.

  • Mike Steele

    For better or worse, his widowed mother didn’t let him die, rather accepting (gasp!) Social Security survivor benefits paid for with (heavens forfend!) taxpayer dollars. If it was good enough for your sainted mother, Ryan…the lowest rung of hell awaits you and your fellow corporate welfare, free-market-my-ass hypocrites.

    • gingerwentworth

      Just a self-sufficient Republican woman knitting brown and orange afghans in her BIG BRICK MANSION..

  • Sister the Resister

    This is my favorite Paul Ryan graphic EVAH!!!
    Though I hope Barbie doesn’t succumb to his party eyez

  • The Flaming Carrot

    May Paul Ryan experience the heartbreak of necrotizing fasciitis. With votes.

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