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OK, wingnuts need to figure out what conspiracies they actually believe. Because on one hand, we are always hearing about the Worldwide Jew-spiracy Of Global Banking And Also Steven Spielberg Movies, what controls everything. We imagine those Jewishes have a lot of money, if they are really in a conspiracy together! But here is a crazy Jesus lady who apparently believes differently! Her name is Cindy Jacobs, and she is HOLYSHITNUTS. We have seldom featured her on the august pages of Wonkette, but one time in 2010, we (way back when we were a Baby Wonkette!) wrote about how she did a prayer to Jesus and fixed all the lesbians’ tongue sins, and also she took the nasty-nasty off of Craigslist, with her prayers.

Jacobs is both a pastor and a prophetess, who wisely discerned that the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell caused dead birds to fall out of the sky and on to Arkansas. At a religious right conference in 2010, she declared, apropos of nothing, “ME AND JESUS, WE HAD THE WILDEST TIME IN PRAYER!” Sounds hot, lady! Maybe that’s why she was also able to stop a typhoon one time, with her prayers.

Anyway, today’s Word, like we said, is about the Jews, and it is shared at us by Hemant Mehta, AKA “The Friendly Atheist,” pfffffft, like there is even any such thing. In it, Prophetess Rev. Jacobs explains that God needs all the Jesus folk to get SUPER rich, so that the Jews, none of whom have ever gotten rich ever, will immediately get jealous and accept Christ as their Lord and Savior, so that they, too, may have granite countertops and the most expensive Netflix subscriptions, or whatever their hearts desire:

“I want to say to you … that one of the things I believe that’s going to bring a great harvest of Jews …

A BOUNTIFUL JEW HARVEST!

… is the Christians becoming so profoundly wealthy … that it’s going to make them jealous. The wealth and the riches that we’re able to obtain is going to make them jealous.”

“Do you think our poverty is going to make a Jew jealous?” she asked. “Come off it! No, we are meant to prosper. Why? Because they understand, in their culture, that obedience to God brings blessing.”

Is Cindy Jacobs saying that Jews love money? Well she’s not not saying it!

Also, Cindy Jacobs sounds exactly like Melissa McCarthy making fun of Sean Spicer.

Anyway, this is your open thread, so commence to yip-yapping or whatever.

Please Wonkers, we are fully reader-supported and we love the Lord. Give us dollars and make us rich, that we may fulfill Cindy Jacobs’s prophecy for the Jewishes.

[Right Wing Watch via The Friendly Atheist]

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  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Q: How is copper wire made?
    A: By tossing a penny between two…… fundie grifters!

    See, bet you thought that one was going a whole different direction!

    • Amy!

      Huh. If it went in a different direction, it would be copper foil instead of wire, wouldn’t it?

  • Anna Rompage
    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Said Oedipus to his shrink!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Mammon worshipers suck.

    • kindness

      But are they good at it?

  • TJ Barke
    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Whatever it is, is there a way of stopping it?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “I want to say to you … that one of the things I believe that’s going to bring a great harvest of Jews …

    The Jooz I know are a bit fleshy this time of year from the Cabin Fever. You might want to give them a month or two to get their muscle tone back.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I can haz Jonathan Lipnicki?

  • bookish

    https://www.usnews.com/opinion/thomas-jefferson-street/articles/2017-03-09/return-of-wikileaks-is-a-problem-for-donald-trump-and-his-russia-blindspot

    In a normal time, Russia’s re-emergence would be considered the greatest security threat to America and our traditional allies. But the Trump administration has been remarkably silent on the issue. Despite tweeting on issues ranging from the ratings of his old television show to Ivanka’s businesses, the new president has not once gone to Twitter to condemn any of these Russian aggressions. Nor has he even acknowledged that Russia intervened in our politics last year (let alone condemned it) or authorized a collective response to its ongoing efforts to disrupt the politics of our most important allies in Europe.

    What has been even more disturbing than Trump’s silence on Russia has been his seeming embrace of elements of Russia’s foreign policy that in no way advance America’s interests. He has repeatedly criticized America’s intelligence community, which was instrumental in dismantling the old Soviet Union. He outrageously posited an equivalency between Russia’s oppressive ways and America’s long championing of democracy. He has encouraged the breakup of the European Union and questioned the utility of the NATO, the military alliance designed to contain Russia’s regional ambitions. His idea of cooperating with Russia on combating the Islamic State group in the Middle East is an almost comical parrot of Kremlin propaganda. And he is openly floating the idea of having America walk away from the current global trading system, a system that has been instrumental in the successful advance of American style capitalism and values throughout the world.

  • pragmatist3

    If you start off being a stupid person, it probably makes some sense.

  • Weevie

    “I was talking to God the other day and…”
    Click.
    Silence, much better!

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      You were talking AT me, you dumb cracker. I wasn’t talking back, no matter what you think.
      – God

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’m sorry. I saw this woman’s face and immediately thought she must be some sort of Wonderbread-wrapper-shod hog-mohel. Wrong wingnut.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    This is a strange interpretation of the bible. Almost as if it doesn’t come from the bible at all.

    • Groundloop

      “Go ye forth, my children, and gather ye all the gold, and gather ye all the silver, and gather ye all the jewels of the Earth, to better make the Joos jealous of thy rich bounty, and say ye unto the Joos –

      ‘Hate ya! Hate ya! Wouldn’t wanna date ya!'”

      Cher – 9:22

  • Indivisible Snark Tank

    Ms. Profit-ess Rev. Cindy, honey? Remember that one passage that goes “It would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom”? Yeah, study THAT passage for a while. Bless your heart.

  • marxalot

    Are we sure she isn’t Melissa McCarthy, doing some sort of long, Kauffman-esque embedded bit?

  • Crystalclear12

    Ah man, I got the crazy on my shoe! Where’s the grass?

  • cmd resistor

    So apparently someone is still investigating that strange Alfa Bank – Trump Organization computer thing. http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/09/politics/fbi-investigation-continues-into-odd-computer-link-between-russian-bank-and-trump-organization/index.html?adkey=bn

  • Count Awesome

    Prayer obviously doesn’t work since there are still lesbians and Craigslist is as nasty as ever.

    • Crystalclear12

      I know it didn’t work on my speeding ticket. And I was praying really hard.

      • Count Awesome

        I used to pray to “Jethro the parking god” when I went somewhere looking for a good parking spot.

        • cmd resistor

          How did that work out? I kind of like the idea of Jethro the Parking God.

          • Count Awesome

            Actually seemed to work more often than not.

          • cmd resistor

            I’ll have to try it. Although normally I like to park far away and walk, and then don’t have to be around so many cars when I leave.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Oh, me and Jethro are *tight*. I have awesome luck at finding parking meters with time left on them! I’ll bet over 1/2 the time, but I don’t drive downtown all that often, so…

        • Crystalclear12

          My god is pretty unresponsive, I’m thinking of switching. What’s your success rate with Jethro?

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’ve had really good luck with parking. Never tried praying to him for anything else… Maybe he’s the god of weed too…

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          I wish he were more powerful – he seems to become far less effective around Christmastime.

        • mailman27

          Last I heard, he was a double-aught spy.

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          What is wrong with you?
          Evbody knows it’s “Elaine the Parking God.” (‘Cause us wimmins don’t want to muss our shoes by walking long in public parking lots.)

  • AJ Milne

    Re ‘… the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell caused dead birds to fall out of the sky and on to Arkansas…’

    So was there a downside?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Alabama got all snooty, because stars fell on them.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Can we arrange some more?

    • Weevie

      And only ark and saw.

    • Nockular cavity

      In Oklahoma the dead birds stay up in the air, closer to heaven.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • janecita

      People are soooo fucking stupid!

    • Weevie

      They did many of those right after some nuke hit Clinton, but even so, yeah, sad.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Thank you, Mr. Comey, for fucking us all with your powerful FBI position.

  • proudgrampa

    Lady, I’ve known a few Jewishes in my time. They would not be jealous of you or any other of your lying Sack of Shit friends…

    • Weevie

      Nor would they hang around for more than a few seconds after she starts bellowing. My ears, my ears!!!

  • Weevie

    She’s very unhelpful.

  • Count Awesome

    Show me a poor Jew, and I’ll show you their Catholic birth certificate.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Current or ex-, we speak mutually intelligible dialects of Guilt.

  • Anna Rompage

    A great harvest of jews?

    Soylent green; it’s people!

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      And kosher!

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        ‘Cept for Milo. Totally treif, that one.

    • therblig

      Soylent Greenstein?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    My eyes are starting to roll by themselves and there is a thick stack of paperwork on my coffee table. I’d rather it was pancakes tbh.

    • proudgrampa

      Hmmmm. Pancakes!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Latkes or GTFO!

      • snigsy

        Latkes!(Ask Janecita’s kids.)

    • mailman27

      Thou wouldst anoint thine eyes with syrup?

    • Yr. Gma

      Pray, and if you believe, pancakes they will be.

  • Ricky Gay

    is she one of those Jesus crackers that Trump was on about?

    • Count Awesome

      She’s definitely a cracker.

  • Anna Rompage

    Um, where exactly did jesus say a blessing of god equates to monetary wealth?

    I can remember a lot of things this supposed jesus said, but I don;t ever remember him taking about how monetary wealth was ever a good thing, I mean unless you’re giving it all away to help those who are less fortunate…

    • Weevie

      There’s the Bible’s Jesus and the Huckster’s Jesus.

    • Count Awesome

      Their talking about Jesus and the Church of Tax Cuts for the Wealthy.

    • cmd resistor

      One of the more obscure translations.

    • Yr. Gma

      Matthew 6:24 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” My dirt poor grandpa had that underlined in his Bible.

    • boyblue122

      This is republican jesus they are talking about…the same one that says to buy lots o guns and shoot all the mooselambs

  • janecita
  • Yr. Gma

    Let me refer you to Dr. Ben Carson’s own preacher and prophetess, Ellen G. White
    http://www.whiteestate.org/about/egwbio.asp
    http://combiboilersleeds.com/images/ellen-g_-white/ellen-g_-white-0.jpg

  • shastakoala

    I think I’ve just suffered screechy voice induced trauma.

  • snigsy

    As a Jewishy Jew (but secular from waaay back), my family was always somewhat amused by the notion of “harvest” and “Thanksgiving.”

    ETA: Okay, none of the above makes much sense but I’m simultaneously writing an “I quit, fuck you, and you, and all of the rest of you” polite resignation letter. Wish me luck tomorrow.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Good luck!!! I write those regularly just to clear my mind, but I’m not ready to hand them in. For a giggle, Google pastor resignation letters, they’re a hoot!

      • snigsy

        Thanks, Sweetie!

  • Anna Rompage

    You know who else tried to harvest all the jews?

    And that didn’t seem to go over very well with most of the world…

    • Nockular cavity

      Steve Bannon?

    • Count Awesome

      Pharaohs?

    • veska

      Obama?

    • efoveks

      All those people in the Jewelry business???

    • shastakoala

      Florida? Wait, I read that as harvest the juice.

    • Creepoman

      Captain Quint? Oh, my bad – not jaws, jews. No idea.

    • Jack Tenhet

      The Red Skull?

    • Weevie

      Sunkist?

    • schmannity

      Our outdoor tomcat tries to harvest all the jays.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    While I’m here, can we all agree that people who say “no diversity for the sake of diversity” are idiots or do I need to go on a history rant about how most cultures have been present in other cultures for a very, very long time (depending on which culture and where, thousands of years)? I’m sick of hearing the stupid.

    • marxalot

      See also the potato in the Witcher games argument.
      You know when black people first showed up in norther Europe? Possibly as far back as the time of the Roman Empire. Probably well before the fall of Constantinople, but certainly afterwards.
      You know when potatoes came to Poland?
      Well after the Americas were colonized.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I saw people saying “Elsa can’t possibly be black that doesn’t make historical sense!” And without even unpacking wanting racial purity in a fantasy cartoon in a kingdom that never existed I can find paintings right now of black women (and possibly some Asian) in Medieval Norway, but what I would do with paintings afterwards is against commenting rules.

        • marxalot

          Please don’t take it out on the art.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I was going to use the art to— never mind. Let’s just say the commenter would never forget those paintings.

    • Jack Tenhet

      I hear ya and I totally agree. They use the word diversity like it’s a slander or somehow weakens us.

      It doesn’t weaken us as a society at all. A society functions only when there is diversity. Otherwise it simply fails.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        If anything, media about European ancestors should use darker actors since white skin is the adaptation.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Most of them don’t like diversity because their family tree has no branches.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Nailed it!

  • efoveks

    “The love of money is the root of all evil”: an actual Bible thing, and why this stupid woman and the rest of those Prosperity Gospel people make me laugh and laugh and feel just a teensy, teensy bit superior…

    • Jack Tenhet

      Just a teensy bit? I officially give you full permission to feel exceedingly superior to these anti-Christian morons.

      They are anti-Christian and we should start calling them that.

    • Weevie

      Feel proud!

  • bookish

    https://www.poynter.org/2017/bureau-chiefs-deeply-concerned-that-rex-tillerson-is-ditching-the-press-on-asia-trip/451812/
    D.C. bureau chiefs from major news organizations, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, the wire services, Fox News and CNN sent a letter to the State Department earlier this week protesting Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s decision to ditch reporters on his upcoming trip to Asia.

    “We were deeply concerned to hear that Secretary Tillerson plans to travel to Beijing, Seoul and Tokyo to hold key meetings about some of the most important foreign policy issues for the United States without any traveling press,” reads the letter, which was also signed by NPR, the BBC, Voice of America, the Los Angeles Times, Foreign Policy and the Agence France-Presse.

    “Not only does this situation leave the public narrative of the meetings up to the Chinese foreign ministry as well as Korea’s and Japan’s, but it gives the American people no window whatsoever into the views and actions of the nation’s leaders.”

    http://www.mediaite.com/online/tapper-slams-tillerson-for-insulting-move-of-not-bringing-reporters-on-trip-to-asia/

    http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Foreign-Policy/2017/0309/Asia-trip-s-test-for-Tillerson-Not-just-what-he-says-but-who-listens
    Secretary Tillerson will visit Tokyo, Seoul, and Beijing next week, at a moment that many Northeast Asia analysts consider to be of supreme diplomatic complexity and increasingly volatile and dangerous.

    “At each of his stops [Tillerson] will find mounting concerns about a disturbingly long list of challenges to maintaining peace in Northeast Asia,” says Bruce Klingner, a senior research fellow specializing in Japanese and Korean affairs at the Heritage Foundation in Washington.

  • mailman27

    Is our Christian fundamentalists getting rich enough? This is the question.

    • Count Awesome

      Nah. That’s a flood upwards economic system cuz they give it to televangelists.

      • mailman27

        This is very true. Maybe a capital F?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Never rich enough for those goons. And they’re still trying to get that camel through the eye of the needle.

  • Weevie

    I’m gonna start The Church of Cheese and pray to Roquefort Jesus. Should be worth millions!

    • Count Awesome

      Blue d’Auvergne Jesus or GTFO!

    • Ωbjectifier

      At the Temple du Fromage.

    • theblackdog

      Provolone Jesus is the one true way!

      • Raan

        #Cheesus

    • shastakoala

      The Church of Cheese and Quack-ers.

    • Gosala

      I’m gonna stick with my Gouda Buddha.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Have you tried my assortment platter? Cheeses of Nazareth.

      • Weevie

        we have a winner!

      • C4TWOMAN

        Blessed are the Cheesemakers….

  • Courser_Resistance

    she did a prayer to Jesus and fixed all the lesbians’ tongue sins…

    Um, I’m straight but I’ve committed a fuckton of ‘tongue sins’, I’m pretty sure.

    • Jack Tenhet

      My mind went there too! Ask any lesbian, they’ll say their tongues don’t need any fixing.

    • snark-lurker

      the ladees call me “jaws” but it is not about biting or chewing

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      It took me five minutes to figure out what this meant.

      • Courser_Resistance

        LOL. If I hadn’t thought of it, it would have taken me at least that long :-)

  • shivaskeeper

    She also once claimed to have fed a multitude out of a never ending spaghetti pot. Seriously, she is claiming a loaves and fishes miracle to her credit.

    • veska

      Hey lady, Strega Nona is a children’s book, not real life.

      • marxalot

        Thank you! I couldn’t remember the title!

    • TJ Barke
      • shivaskeeper

        Now if course she no actual proof of it except another “prophet” who claims to have witnessed it as well. I am inclined to believe her since a good Christian like jet would never, ever lie.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        This mochrie will not stand!

    • DainBramage

      Doesn’t that make her a Pastafarian?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      FSM libelz!!!

    • Shibusa

      Sounds like she and her flock stumbled upon the Never Ending Pasta Bowl® in the Olive Garden of Eden.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I rarely worry over our Jew Harvest, because the gov’t pays us more to not grow them most years.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’ve been having a really good experience with my organic heirloom Jews. I special order them from this guy in Tampa, but the difference between an heirloom and a conventionally grown Jew really has to be seen to be believed.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        And keep them GMO Jews out of my garden, thank you very much.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Both Monstanto and Steve Bannon think a good Roundup™ works best for Jew Harvesting!

  • Finnabar87

    Where do the Jesus gang get the idea all Jews are wealthy?

    If it were the case, they could have kept that whole Shoah thing from ever happening.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Don’t get them started on the Beta Joos. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_Israel

      • tomamitai

        If Ivanka’s kids take after their grampa, will they be orange Jews?

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        Now do not be blown away by this, but …
        … my car mechanic is a Jewz! Impossible! Because all Jewzes are rich pipples work in banking AND ALSO all Jewzes cannot handle power tools!
        And more astounding:
        Last summer, I — Jewz womman! Too poor to pay for help! — used [borrowed] electric hedge trimmer! On ALL HEDGES in yard!
        Not true! Fake facts!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I keep asking the Msgra to tell me where her people hide the loot, but she tells me there’s nada.
      They are a stubborn race.

    • LucindathePook

      I married a Jew just so I could get in on all the munniez and ruling the world stuff, but it’s been 25 years now and none of it has happened. Got a hella hamentaschen recipe, though.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Dr Z amps are way too nice for Xian rock.

    • msanthropesmr

      You’re not making Christianity Bette, you’re just making rock and roll worse.

      • Ωbjectifier

        It’s OK if you only know 3 chords, but for god’s sake, get them in the right order!

        • veska

          I, IV, V…

        • Count Awesome

          He can start a punk band with those three chords.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I had a roomie in the military who was WAY into Xian rock music:

      “I have deciiiided!
      I’m doing to live like a believer!
      Turn my back on the Deceiver,
      I’m gonna live what I believe!”

      Yeah, those earworms never die.

      • Crystalclear12

        Have you tried tequila?

        • C4TWOMAN

          Cats helps quite a bit. Competing earworms. And, whatever you think of Andrew Lloyd Weber, he’s 100X better than Xtian “rock”.

          • Weevie

            Phillip Glass, too. Hell, even Yanni!

            I hate Xtian rock, it’s bait and switch, good riffs, then the inane Yeesus junk. Yuck!

          • C4TWOMAN

            Yeah, I’m a bit surprised at how good some of the tunes can be. But then, like you say, mugged with Jesus messages.
            I think it’s the manipulation. I still like “Amazing Grace” and other trad songs with obvious Xtian roots. But they were inspired without a heavy handed agenda of conversion. Or they have enough artistic merit they outgrew it.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Whenever I think of “harvests” I think if this:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lottery

    Probably not what prophet-church lady had in mind.

    • veska

      Ooo, I love Shirley Jackson!

    • snark-lurker

      Well you just tipped me over, no warning. Nuts!

  • Skeptical_thinker
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Common slatterns to the left!

      • Crystalclear12

        You misspelled lobbyist.

  • kindness

    That bountiful harvest of Jews is gonna happen when Trump sends Bibi even more of our tax monies.

    Clue to ‘Christians’: It doesn’t turn out so good for Jesus’ people.

  • Proud Liberal

    Jesus Christ, the people of this country have gone mad.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Rubes aren’t going to feece themselves.

      • Feece looks like a word that even Urban Dictionary will not define …

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Fake poos.

  • Jack Tenhet
  • Chris Hall

    You’d think with all this Jew money she’s getting from Jesus they’d be able to afford to turn the thermostat up a bit and she could take her coat off.

  • Finnabar87

    Why is Farage visiting Assange?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Frottage.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Man-booty calls?

    • DainBramage

      Circle jerk?

  • under_score

    Gotta love a wacky goysplainer to start the evening

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I hear Teh Joos even have two different sets of keyboards they use when reading Wonkette non-comments: One to spray milk on, the other to spray meat particles on! Oh those Joos!

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    It is so easy not to be jealous of Cindy Jacobs.

  • Picabo

    “CHAMPLAIN, N.Y. — Roxham Road is a quiet country road jutting off another quiet country road, where a couple of horses munch on soggy hay and a ditch running along the muddy pavement flows with melted snow. It cuts through a thicket of dormant trees, passing a half-dozen trailer homes and after almost a mile runs into a line of boulders and a rusted railing with a sign: Road Closed.

    Chris Crowningshiele has been driving a cab, on and off, for 30 years in this rural corner of upstate New York known as the North Country. He lives south of here in Plattsburgh, and his fares usually come from ferrying students from a state university there or picking shoppers up at a Walmart in his gray minivan. But in recent weeks, riders have been asking him — two, three, sometimes as many as seven times a day — to bring them to the end of Roxham Road.

    He is carrying them on the last leg of their journey out of the United States. Just on the other side of that sign is Canada. Border officials and aid workers there say there has been a surge in people illegally crossing from the United States in the months since President Trump was elected, many of them natives of Muslim countries making bids for asylum. Roxham Road, just a brief detour from a major border crossing on Interstate 87, has become one of the busier illegal points of entry.

    Mr. Crowningshiele picks up passengers in Plattsburgh, mostly at the airport or the bus station, and over the 25-mile drive north, they have told him that they had traveled from across the country. Some were migrants from Yemen and Turkey. They confided that they were fearful, of what was happening in the countries they wanted to leave behind — not just their homeland but now also the United States — and of what they faced once they stepped out of Mr. Crowningshiele’s cab.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/07/nyregion/champlain-ny-canada-migrants.html

  • LarryHoudini

    Turns out Christians are just trying to make Jews jealous? Well fuck you Christians, and your stupid head games too!! Jews might just hook up with Buddhists and start a Judeo/Buddhist tradition somewhere far far from this sketchy part of the world.
    Oh, and they never liked your recipe for sweet potatoes and marshmallow casserole either–sorry-ass fucks!
    [slams car door; peels out]

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, we’ll just see you at Rapture, Bub.

      • Raan

        Semi-OT: So, remember that Rapture prediction back in 2011, and then Macho Man Randy Savage died?

        Yeah, he put the Four Horsemen in a sleeper hold. Together.

        • Weevie

          Yay Randy! Randy saved the Universe!

    • Weevie

      Or that awful french green beans/mushroom soup, pickles and shredded onion rings casserole crap!
      Maybe if I weighed 400 lbs that junk would taste good.

      • LarryHoudini

        Pickles? Holy shit.

        • Weevie

          Heartlanders put pickles or marshmallows or pretzels in everything.

          • Raan

            Trail mix with marshmallows and pretzels sounds pretty good.

          • Weevie

            Agreed! That’s where they belong!

  • C4TWOMAN

    And isn’t she being bad by encouraging Jews to covert things? There’s a commandant about coveting, I’m pretty sure of it….

  • TJ Barke

    I can’t wait for all the alt right neo nazis to come in to tell us all about teh evil joos.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m going to falsify the fuck out of veganism*.

      *Not really, I like vegans well enough.

      • C4TWOMAN

        It’s the loud annoying ones that are annoying…even to the other vegans. One of my best friends in a vegan. I’m a carnivore. Go figure.
        *insert joke about “fattening up”*

  • MOG253

    Prosperity preacher, her prosperity.

  • Raan
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m so tempted to do the rest with Sam Bee and John Oliver. Must… Resist….

    • Isaac Heston

      I heard his real name is Liebowitz!

      • See!!!11!!1! He’s a liberal and even his name contains a lie

        • OneYieldRegular

          If only he could be as successful as Cindy Jacobs.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Gonna need a new Canticle.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I assume she followed this plea up with a reminder that all donations to her will make the Hollywood types real jealous?

  • Huh. Sorry for the length, but this is the way it was taught to me in church:

    God: Hey, Jews, you’re my chosen people!
    Jews: Hurray!
    God: Stop all that bacon eating and freaky sex or I’ll kill you all.
    Jews: Uh… can we see other gods? Maybe date around a bit?
    God: You can, but I’ll kill all of you and send the survivors to Babylon.
    Jews: Okay, but we get to eat bacon and have freaky sex in the meantime, right?
    Jews: Okay, back from Babylon now.
    Romans: Hello! We’ll be conquering you now.
    Jews: The fuck? God? Where are you?
    Jesus: Here, guys! All that Law stuff I gave you? Nevermind. Just believe in me and love each other.
    Jewish and Roman Leaders: Kill him.
    God: Okay, now I’m mad at all the Jews, so you can’t join the new Christian club because I’m going to magically blind you to the truth.
    Jews: But we didn’t actually kill him. Our leaders did. Why are we being punished.
    God: Something. Something… enjoy two thousand years of persecution and hell afterwards.
    Jews: We should have stuck with Ba’al.
    Christians: You guys suck. Let’s kill them and steal their stuff!
    Two thousand years and a holocaust later…
    Christians: Okay, we still don’t really like you, but we won’t kill you and steal all your stuff… at least not unless Trump commands it.
    Jews: Yea?
    Jesus: Hey Christians, come up here! It’s a cool party. You can watch the rest of the world burn and watch your unsaved friends and family burn forever in hell! Woo!
    Christians: Suck it, unbelievers.
    Antichrist: Hey, Jews… want to live in peace with everyone and just be happy people?
    Jews: Okay. That sounds cool.
    God: Psyche. He’s evil now.
    Antichrist: That’s right, now I’m going to kill like 7 out of 10 of you Jews.
    7 out of 10 Jews: ACK!
    Jesus: Surprise!
    Jesus uses sword mouth to kill Antichrist. It’s super effective.
    Jesus: Okay, surviving Jews… time to convert to Christianity!
    Jews: You’re going to kill us with your sword mouth if we don’t, aren’t you?
    Jesus: Yes. Yes, I am.
    Jews: Okay… I guess we’re all Christians now. Except for the millions of us who died and are now in hell.
    Jesus: Ah, but you’re NOT. So happy ending for the chosen people!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Where’s Norman Greenbaum fit into all this?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I think we did this play in the 4th grade.

  • bookish

    http://fortune.com/2017/03/09/isis-islamic-state-america/

    This month, U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson plans to host a 68-nation meeting in Washington to discuss the next moves by the coalition fighting the Islamic State, a senior Trump administration official said on Thursday.

    This comes as the Islamic State, an actual state with territory and population, is on the verge of extinction, but remains a threat to the U.S. and many parts of the world. Since 2014, the group’s control over people has been cut by roughly 80% in Iraq and 56% in Syria, according to our estimates. The Islamic State is also slowly but steadily losing control of its largest remaining city, Mosul. Its capital, Raqqa, has been isolated and is awaiting assault. Foreign fighter flows to the region peaked in 2016 and have drastically shrunk. Thousands of Islamic State fighters in Iraq and Syria have been killed, captured, dispersed, or driven underground.

    Yet despite these successes, the collapse of the Islamic State’s so-called caliphate will not eliminate the organization or other Salafi-jihadist groups, which will likely continue for years. “Tell me how this ends” then Major General David Petraeus asked in 2003, just after American forces had taken Iraq. This question is just as pertinent today. In the short term, the threat of Islamic State directed or inspired attacks on the U.S. homeland and its allies overseas may even grow.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      Islamic State, the Dump admin — tomato, tomahto …

  • ariel_gee_398

    All these years I thought Jews ate Christian babies. Is this lady telling us it’s actually the other way around?

  • Weevie

    She and Mike, her husband of 43 years, co-founded Generals International in 1985.
    Cindy and her husband Mike co-host a weekly television program called God Knows.
    SNL rips them:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFYkBke7XJI

  • Inner Venom

    Not that there aren’t zany Catholics out there too, but as a Catholic sometimes I’m glad I don’t follow any of these Evangelical groups.

  • Does she realise that Jesus was a Jew and so was John the Baptist?

    Does she also believe that “The Juwes are the men that will not be blamed for nothing?” Is she Jill the Ripper?

    • Inner Venom

      Apparently not. Somehow all these anti semites also call themselves Christian despite the fact that Christ was Jewish and also had dark skin.

      • snark-lurker

        They are not [THAT] kind of Christions, these are “Jesus was white” christions.

        • Sophia

          Course he was white and American too. Born in Bethlehem. That’s in Pennsylvania right? So what’s your problem?

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Christions? Are those religiously charged particles?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      But they weren’t those, y’know, really Jew-y Jews. cuz Bible.

  • OrG

    People like Ms. Jacobs create a lot of atheists.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Unfortunately, their opposition to birth control also means they create a lot of fundies.

  • Chadwells

    Rough day. To top it off…I ate my dogs Benadryl instead of my Alieve for my back. I was holding them separate in each hand…I chose wrong hand.

    Now I’m all hopped up on goof balls and my back still hurts.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      That’s just what the Matrix wants you to think. Hon, you chose the blue pill.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        If the alternative is the Red Pill, I’d rather be hopped up on goofballs.

        • jowgajen

          The Wachowski sisters have got to be pissed that this is a thing now.

    • snark-lurker

      Ohmy!

    • proudgrampa

      I’ve done that, man.

      • jowgajen

        Another reason why cats are better.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          The other night I woke up in the wee hours so I ambled into the bathroom and in the dark grabbed the Xanax bottle and broke one in half and swallowed it down and went back to bed. I felt myself relax and was grateful I had one. In the morning I went to take a Lipitor and noticed there was a half of one in the bottle. I never used to put much stock in the placebo effect.

          • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

            OT, but: Mega joint pain + swelling (auto-immune disorder, can’t afford meds). Then, anticipating 1st visit in 3 years from very dear friend of 30 years –> no physical pain, until we said goodbye. Mind-body, man …

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yikes. You should maybe call the poison hotline? Also, please check back in here every 30 or so or I’ll worry.

      • Chadwells

        Nah…it was just 1 Benadryl!! All it’s gonna do is make me sleepy. My allergies were bugging me anyway, hah! I do appreciate your concern, thank you!!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well how do you think your dog feels, huh???!???!!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but I laughed.

  • cmd resistor

    So Comey just met with McConnell, Schumer, Mark Warner (D-Va.) and Richard Burr (R-N.C.) – collectively known as the Senate’s “Big Four” on intelligence issues. No one is saying much except Warner said he has seen no evidence of any wiretapping. Comey supposed to meet with some House people tomorrow.

  • Tallmutha

    Poll: What will this year’s White House Easter Egg Roll most closely resemble?

    A. Black Friday morning at the Fritters, Alabama Walmart
    B. The homecoming parade at the end of Animal House
    C. Bristollnacht
    D. AOT,K

    • Count Awesome

      You forgot the frat house attitude towards sexual assaults too also.

    • DainBramage

      How many little girls will tRump greet by way of stating that he’ll probably be dating them in 10 years?

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Hopefully no one will actually bring their children. Or Donnie will be banned from the event.

    • snark-lurker

      Will the SS be able to keep prezPussygrabber away from all the MILFs?

    • Anna Rompage

      Donald Trump bare backing the Easter Bunny?

      • Count Awesome

        Will Sean Spicer be back in the bunny costume by then?

        • Anna Rompage

          It appears his black eyes are healed up, as I’ve seen him on TV this week, so that’s a great possibility!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Not C. It’ll Palin comparison.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Dude. Trig(ger) warning, please.

    • OneYieldRegular
      • Doug Langley

        In Soviet America, egg eats you.

    • KAC will anounce that no eggs will be rolled because Planned Parenthood.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Just a tweet with The Donald sitting down in front of a bowl with the caption “The egg rolls in Trump Tower are delicious!”

    • tomamitai

      He’s not gonna make Ivanka host it, is he, seeing as how she became a Jewish?

    • Shibusa

      “Happy Easter! And may the odds be ever in your favor.”

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/nsc-staff-oval-office-trump-foreign-calls-235812

    National security adviser H.R. McMaster has invited top National Security Council staff back into the Oval Office for calls between President Donald Trump and foreign leaders, reversing a decision by his predecessor Michael Flynn to exile senior directors to the Situation Room during state calls.

    For the first time since Trump took office, senior directors and country directors were present on Monday and Tuesday in the Oval alongside deputy national security adviser K.T. McFarland for calls with leaders from Israel, Japan, South Korea and Kenya.

    The change was made after an all-hands meeting at which McMaster invited NSC staff to submit notecards with their concerns about procedures, according to NSC spokesman Michael Anton. The absence of senior staff in the room to offer guidance to the president in real time was a top response. “That was a pretty consistent issue,” Anton said.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      yeah, but Drumpf makes the Best Deals™. He doesn’t need actual knowledge.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      KT McFarland. If that isn’t a bit of craven social climbing on Trump’s part I don’t know what is, given that her experience was as not much more than an admin during the Reagan administration.

      She does, however, have places on the UES, Bronxville, and a private island off the Hamptons. From which, while she was hilariously in the primaries to run against Hillary, she claimed to have seen the black helicopters Hillary sent after her…

  • Anna Rompage
    • Blacktop Autumn

      Waste of a good plug!

      • Anna Rompage

        Not if it’s Phthalate laden PVC….

        • aureolaborealis

          Also, if it’s just come out of a more appropriate hole.

    • OrG

      Cram it down her throat!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “This pie tastes like buttholes!”

    • tomamitai

      Um, I think you may have been eating pie wrong.

  • Edith Prickly

    How does this lady find her way home every night?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      It’s the only one in her neck of the woods?

    • OrG

      How do you know she does?

      • Edith Prickly

        True. Assumes facts not in evidence.

  • schmannity

    Get rich to promote envy. Jesus on line 1, hon, he says you’re doing it RONG.

  • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

    Can somebody please photoshop a yarmulke and tallit (prayer shawl) on this for me? (It’s one of my cousins.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4dd89cb40ee1e99ca5687dd0f575793f600344f9a7d2b5826fa108e81bb11aa.jpg

  • Gosala

    Jesus: He’s back from the dead and he wants your immortal soul.

    • Count Awesome

      “The Walking Dead” is really reaching on villians and plot now.

  • Inner Venom

    How is what this lady is saying any different to what some of the old Calvinists used to say about how thinking wealth and material goods meant you were one of God’s “elect”?

    • jowgajen

      There’s a reason Europe kicked those guys out.

    • Anna Rompage

      This is the only Calvinist that I want to fill me up deep with their love… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7cc766c26f66018539e6062403e43d5a2a1512e3c1cb304097ef54a414928aa.jpg

      • efoveks

        If he goes both ways, send him over here, too! ;)

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Prosperity gospel folks think being righteous will make you rich. Calvinists think if you were righteous you’d be rich already.

      • Inner Venom

        Ah okay. Well, she sounds like every Mickey Mouse prosperity gospel preacher I’ve ever heard too.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Well, the whole beat the jews at capitalism for Jesus thing is new.

      • TJ Barke

        Two leaves on the same branch.

    • georgiaburning

      Did Terry Cole-Whitaker sell the rights to that scam?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Well, to be fair, I hear the Wonkettes are only half-Jewishes, so how rich can they get, really.

    • mackafritz

      Half rich?

      • jowgajen

        There’s a Cher parody in here.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Jesus! Trumpanzees.
          We’d hear it from the people of the town
          They called us…

          /misheardlyrics

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2017/03/09/epas-environmental-justice-leader-steps-down-amid-white-house-plans-to-dismantle-program/?utm_term=.6ce4eef98d00

    A key environmental justice leader at the Environmental Protection Agency has resigned, saying that a recent budget proposal to defund such work would harm the people who most rely on the EPA.

    Mustafa Ali, a senior adviser and assistant associate administrator for environmental justice, has served more than two decades at the agency, working to ease the burden of air and water pollution in hundreds of poor, minority communities nationwide. He helped found the EPA’s environmental justice office during the early 1990s and became a key adviser to agency administrators under Republican and Democratic presidents.

    Ali’s departure, initially reported Thursday by InsideClimate, comes as the White House is seeking to close the agency’s Office of Environmental Justice. A budget proposal reviewed last week by The Washington Post would cut the agency’s overall budget by a quarter, leading to a 20 percent reduction in the workforce. It also listed the environmental justice program as among several dozen slated to lose all funding. The document stated that the new administration supports the idea of environmental justice but would eliminate that EPA office and “assumes any future EJ specific policy work can be transferred to the Office of Policy.”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I hate these fucks. They are malevolent.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      You sent the onion ninjas? You monster.

  • Chadwells
  • Bill Slider

    Your request for money made me laugh. So, yes, I will send money. Just don’t get too wrapped up in that Jesus thing. The withdrawal symptoms can be painful and damaging to your liver.

  • Inner Venom

    “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” -Christ in Luke 12:15

    Oops!

    • brucej

      damn longhaired hippie jew, what did HE know?

      • efoveks

        Yah, guy couldn’t even get a REAL job neither!

        • brucej

          I know, just hung out with his entourage, slumming around, like the time he went surfing and got everyone the wine and food.

          OMG!!! THE SON OF GOD IS SPICOLI!!!!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    On the subject, the incomparable Lewis Black.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seuCWDSi8WQ

  • Carpe Vagenda

    “Do you think our poverty is going to make a Jew jealous?” she asked. “Come off it! No, we are meant to prosper. Why? Because they understand, in their culture, that obedience to God brings blessing.”

    Yes. This is also the lesson that I took away from the Book of Job.

    • efoveks

      As Job has the distinction of being the longest Book in the Bible, the only proper reply to this is TL;DR! XD

    • Gosala

      For me it was Ecclesiastes 9:11

      I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/03/trumps-epa-chief-rejects-that-carbon-dioxide-emissions-cause-climate-change/519054/

    It was a bright warm day in March, and while the clocks weren’t quite striking thirteen, something was awry. Scott Pruitt, the new chief of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, was rejecting the international scientific consensus about human-caused global warming.

    He did it, actually, about when the clocks were striking nine Thursday morning, in an appearance on CNBC’s morning news program, Squawk Box.

    “Do you believe that it’s been proven that CO2 is the primary control knob on climate?” asked Joe Kernen, a host on the show.

    “No,” said Pruitt. “I believe that measuring, with precision, human activity on the climate is something very challenging to do, and there’s tremendous disagreement about the degree of impact. So, no, I would not agree that it’s a primary contributor to the global warming that we see.”

    “We need to continue the review and analysis,” he added.

    This is wrong. There is not “tremendous disagreement” about Kernen’s question. Pruitt’s claim runs so counter to the findings of the international scientific community, to the conclusions of the U.S. government, and even to the marketing materials of the oil-and-gas industry that it is difficult to label it anything but a falsehood.

  • schmannity
  • Panika MCD

    OT – Yr TX Capitol Tip of the day:

    Purgatory must be like the “overflow room.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    Call me crazy, but I don’t think any Jewish person is ever going to be jealous of that.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Let’s all take a moment to behold Sean Hannity defending the honor of the virtuous and goodly FSB/GRU against the no-good awful bad CIA.

    https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/839848903218442240

    • Count Awesome

      He must have really want that job at TASS.

    • TJ Barke

      Go on collaborators, stick your necks out.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        The logic is insane: CIA hacks DNC and Podesta, leaks to WikiLeaks to get Trump elected because out to get Trump.

        • DainBramage

          It all makes sense when you say it that way!

        • jowgajen

          What better punishment for that guy than making him actually pretend to be president?

        • TJ Barke

          Nothing’s too convoluted for rightwing nutjobs.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          But see you’d never guess they were out to get Trump. PERFECT PLAN!

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      What a perfect asshole. Or, as physicist Fred Zwicky would have said, he’s a “spherical bastard” – a bastard no matter what angle you view him from.

    • georgiaburning

      Yeah, one of the bigger Trumpanzees at work was saying the CIA was trying to make it look like the Russians were doing all this stuff. If the CIA is that far into 45’s computers, where are the tax returns?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        And why did they help him get elected if they are trying to do him in?

        • efoveks

          STO YOUR LOGIC IT IS EEEVAL!!!!!!!!

      • TJ Barke

        FFS if they were they’d already have all the “evidence” they could possibly want to burn him down.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Hannity is a treasonous piece of shit who’s not worth the CO2 that comes out of his lungs.

  • Jack Tenhet
    • Latverian Diplomat

      The producers of Family Feud weren’t afraid to try new things to keep their audience.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I’d buy that for a dollar.

  • Doug Langley

    All set for my job interview today. Suddenly they cancelled. Apparently “something urgent” came up. I’m hoping they reschedule.

    Got the notice that unemployment benefits are denied. Didn’t work long enough at the job that kicked me out in two weeks.

    Barely enough savings to last a month and half, and that’s only IF I cut food down to one meal a day and everything.

    DO I FUCKIN’ DESERVE THIS OR SOMETHING?????????

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Oh, Doug. You’re a good egg. Hang in there.

    • TJ Barke

      Dunno, depends what god(s) actually exist and what their preferences may be…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Not to make light, but see, you weren’t jealous enough of the Christians, I think. (Also, hang in there)

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hang in there man. And don’t hesitate to go around and offer to do yard work, etc., while you’re waiting on replies to your applications. Having a little cash in your pocket and staying busy can help keep you grounded & sane.

    • LucindathePook

      I feel for you, man, and think of you often. Been there. It will get better.

    • h4rr4r

      Care to share where you are geographically?

      • Doug Langley

        Ohio.

        • h4rr4r

          Hopefully another not commenter can help you in your area.
          I knew it was a long shot, but I figured it might be something someone here could help with.

    • Weevie

      Be assertive, call them and help them reschedule.

      Make giant pots of stew or chili in the meantime. Load either with lots of veggies and rice, good nutrition, lasts a long time.

      Times like these suck, but will pass. :)

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Don’t lose heart and don’t give up. I hope they call back.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      Another “Hang in there; I’ve been there.” And: Are there temp agencies in your area? Temping can keep you going. And: beans, tuna. Take care.

      • Doug Langley

        This IS a temp agency.

  • Tallmutha

    This is how our cat Milo reacts when a friend’s toddler starts muscling in on the sitting-in-boxes racket:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/381ae32364bc8564ff3f560cd9e52558d2c3c8b130808a70ff77d29bec667eff.jpg

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I love the “make my day, punk” expression on the cat’s face

      • Blackest Noobs

        i love how Milo barely fits in the box but he was thinking I WILL FIT DAMNIT..I AM CAT!!!!

        • Tallmutha

          The smaller they are, the more Milo likes ’em.

          • Blackest Noobs

            that’s pretty much hardwired in all cats….oh small box or bag..yeah i can get in there.

            one of our cats has sworn off paper bags though….she had a traumatic experience with a chipotle bag….she got one of her legs stuck through one of the loops for the handle and kept running back and forth.

            if my wife wasn’t laughing so hard she couldve been more johnny on the spot to get the bag off her.

          • ahughes798

            My cats do that sometimes with the plastic bags…the faster they run, the louder it flaps, the more terrified they get, the faster they run…..

          • Gayer Than Thou

            And yet, when I’m all “here kitty, kitty – I have an enclosed space for you to barely fit in which is called my loving arms,” that inevitably ends with a trip to the urgent care.

          • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)
    • dslindc

      RIP, toddler

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Boy, that kind of goddamn bullshit makes me crazy. How much better a place the world would be if all such fucking superstitious nonsense were consigned to the ash heap of history, where it belongs.

    • shastakoala

      Now spit three times.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        I already sacrificed a lamb, I’m good.

    • h4rr4r

      You mean this flavor or just religion in general? Cause I could go either way.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Personally, I’d like to see all religion gone. Codified, societally sanctioned irrationality is something we can do without.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    It would appear that she wants to lead the Jews to breaking Holy Law. Commandment the X: “Thou shalt not covet thy
    neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his
    manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing
    that is thy neighbour’s.” Ex 20:17, KJV.

    Also: gotta love the Prosperity Gospel! Teaching the exact opposite of the Shepherd they claim to follow: “Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou
    hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and
    come and follow me.” Matt 19:21, KJV.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and did they but know it, became popular because of Reverend Ike. How many of these folks you figure know that a blah wrote their playbook?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I confess, that is new info for me – and surely would be for the vast majority of those who follow it.

  • bookish

    https://www.wired.com/2017/03/politics-gaslighting-environmental-science/

    A pair of longtime EPA antagonists just introduced bills imposing new restrictions on how the EPA uses science to develop policy. On the surface, both appear benign. The first orders the agency to make any data used to develop policy publicly available whenever possible. The second bans for three years any scientist who received an EPA grant from serving as an EPA advisor. At first read, the legislations look like earnest efforts to foster greater transparency in science. With context, however, it’s clear that the goal is making the EPA less scientific and less powerful—permanently.

    Both bills come from Republicans on the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology, which spends a considerable chunk its time gaslighting the EPA and other federal agencies that conduct environmental research. The key player in this ongoing campaign? Representative Lamar Smith, a Texas Republican and climate skeptic who, in his opening remarks to a science committee hearing last month titled “Make the EPA Great Again,” made his thoughts on the agency clear: “The EPA has proposed some of the most expensive and expansive and ineffective rules in history.”

    • Hanaka

      Right, clean air and water and an earth which isn’t too hot to support life are silly and expensive. Poison = profit and profit is the only thing that matters. I’m so glad a new generation will get to experience the effects of acid rain.

      • Hanaka

        And to your point, I’m not sure what this country and this world will look like when the GOP is through with it. They are hell bent on destroying any progress made in the last administration. The vulnerable including, I guess, the scientific community will be the first to suffer.

  • geoffalnutt

    “Abner, she’s doing it again!”

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • CatCope

    That is one fine, UGLY, mouth, face, body, heart you have there. It would be a shame if sumin’ would happen to it!!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    and speaking of folks who have really weird ideas about Jesus,

    https://twitter.com/MuslimIQ/status/839115757439053824

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Is also a vegetarian and avid hunter?

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      THANK YOU

    • boyblue122

      are they trying to dog whistle by using accountant

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Yup. Call the motherfucker what he is: a fucking Christian terrorist.

  • Picabo
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      They just don’t want to cover women. Or any of THOSE people. They want women who have agency over their own lives, especially their sex lives, to die. These people REALLY HATE US.

    • Amelia

      Yes, asshole, men have to pay for prenatal care because guess who’s involved in making the women pregnant? It’s MEN.

      But if we’re not paying for things that don’t affect us, can I stop paying for your erectile dysfunction?

    • TJ Barke

      They sure are pro life, huh?

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

    Harvest of Jews.

    Worst Yankee Candle scent ever.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      oh. ouch.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    Oh my God, Bernie is being an asshole again.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-donald-trump-voters_us_58c1ac90e4b054a0ea68fa17?
    I mean, seriously? The guy who was taking money from Crossroads, who is in bed with the NRA, who represents a lily-white, ultra-elitist, tiny state, who AIDED AND ABETTED the smears and lies against Hillary, is now repeating the misogynist bullshit that this was Hillary’s “failure”? Or even the DNC “failure”? Hillary faced: a thirty year billion-dollar vicious campaign of lies, smears, calumnies, and attacks; a craven media going along with it; BERNIE aiding and abetting every lie; brutal voter suppression; grotesque gerrymandering; a paid troll army; a nasty streak of misogyny; the FBI; and RUSSIA for fuck’s sake, a candidate who was colluding with PUTIN for fuck’s sake, and she STILL won by 3 million votes.
    STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT HILLARY, ASSHOLE!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Time to retire this guy. With votes, the old-fashioned way.

    • Tallmutha

      I really think it’s time for him to either join the Democrats or close his gob about what the Democrats ought to do.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        No, I think he should stay outside the tent. And the leadership.

        It’s a fucking disgrace how many peoples’ good intentions that venal fucker subverted for his own profit and ego.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          YES YES YES ^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I started getting really concerned about how his candidacy would affect the left when he started spouting coded messages to racists.

      • h4rr4r

        Why can’t we have non-racists who are willing to address the needs of the working poor?

        I am serious, it seems like those are the only folks willing to talk about the issue. Mind you a lot of the working poor are racists, so likely to be part of it.

        • Thiazin red

          Democrats do, all the time. They just don’t think that white Christians are the only people who matter.

          • h4rr4r

            Half heartedly, like they do everything else.

            I have always voted for them, but even Hillary was willing to compromise to $12/hour before any negotiations began.

            Want to help them? Make part time folks eligible for insurance, if they have two or more employers make those employers share the cost.

            We need a new WPA. The stupid Protestant work ethic means they don’t want welfare, so give them jobs.

            I wish we could have a real left party, if it had a spine that would be great.

          • Thiazin red

            What is better, an increase in the minimum wage to 12 dollars which would then increase over time to 15, or no minimum wage?

            You might not be old enough to remember it, but Clinton has been fighting for increased healthcare coverage for decades. Republicans are okay with people not getting any care.

            Dems proposed numerous infrastructure bills which were blocked by republicans.

            Republicans tell poor whites that they can blame all their problems on minorities, women and gays while robbing them, so cut out the “both sides” “no difference” bullshit. Because thats what it is, disingenuous bullshit.

          • h4rr4r

            What would be better is fighting for $15 and setting for $12. Instead of fighting for $12 and settling for $9.

            I am old enough to remember this being a reason why they smeared her.

            I never said any such things. I think you should see a doctor about hearing things.

            Both sides are not the same, but one side is evil and the other refuses to stand up and fight.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Because lower class and lower middle class whites feel they need to have people to look down upon.

          • h4rr4r

            Sadly this is true. I just don’t get it.

      • tomamitai

        Unlike Hillary, who came right out and called black youth “super predators”?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Do you know how many times she has apologized for that? Also that was one time in the 90s and taken slightly out of context. Meanwhile, her whole life has been fighting for minorities. Her campaign was based on inclusion and human rights through and through. Don’t play “both sides do it” with me, thanks.

          • tomamitai

            The only time I regret voting for Hillary is when I read the comments her supporters post here.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea
          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I gave you a well-reasoned argument you could have responded to but ad hominem attacks are fine too I guess?

        • Chyron HR

          “Hillary used inappropriate language in support of a bill that Bernie voted for and was still bragging about 10 years later.”

          That BITCH!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m starting to think that this Bernie guy might have a gigantic fucking ego and possibly doesn’t know when it’s time to shut up and gtfo my teevee already.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He has to. If he doesn’t, he has to accept that he was a useful idiot for the alt-left who dgaf about any of his issues. And then he blast-emailed his list to suggest that Hillary was a pipeline supporter the week of the election from his grey money superPAC full of old white guys because he’s Daisy Buchanan and he can’t bother his beautiful mind with his monstrous carelessness.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        The more I learn about him the less I like him. And the more I want an explanation for extremist supporters.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Why? Is They’re Ron Paul-huffing Trump supporters working both sides of the aisle not working for you?

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            No, that covers it. That’s just not what I’ve been told.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            by…

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Mostly Bernie supporters who chose to ignore certain aspects of him and his character.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Jesus

        • h4rr4r

          What does the guy from my office have to do with this?

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        He also was happy to take the support of not-at-all grey moneyed PACS entirely funded by right wingers and probably Russia.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Hey, adopting the Republican way of framing the issues has always worked before.”
      — Bernie Sanders?

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Yes, yes, and yes. THIS^^^^^^^^^^

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      http://68.media.tumblr.com/8e68f3a8853eaa9547181faebd5e546e/tumblr_mhgvtgVJzH1qj80alo1_400.gif

      I think it would be good for the Dems need to focus more on economic issues and economic inequality–I’ve been saying we should do more for the rust belt for decades now. If Bernie let it go at that I wouldn’t have a problem. But to say that the Democratic model is an utter failure? Dafuq?

      For one thing, Hillary did talk a lot about economic issues, only to be ignored when Donald spewed his insane ideas. And since almost twice as many registered voters failed to show up last year as voted for Donald, they are the ones I want to focus on FFS.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Am I allowed to call him deeply flawed and bring up a couple examples of him either selling out or implying deeply disturbing views of minorities (he implied Latinx weren’t Americans for chrissakes)?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          WTF? Got a direct quote on that Latinx thing?

          Well, now I know how Hillary won the Dem primary here FFS.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I think he referred to Hispanics in a speech as “you people” and separate from Americans or implied they were all born outside the country but my Google isn’t working and my laptop is out of commission until tomorrow.

            Here’s the thing. I don’t want to relitigate the primaries (although he apparently does) or offend any of his supporters who put economic issues ahead of civil rights issues (which I won’t judge them for). However, he is making it impossible for me to ignore him and I’m not going to pretend I’m fine with him when he has serious issues treating others as people with needs that are important (more important than his ego). I find myself unsure on how to proceed discussing him.

          • Vincent Ricola

            I can’t tell the difference between a real supporter and an astroturfing Russian at this point, so I don’t bother getting into serious discussion with anyone about Bernie Sanders.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I don’t want his views to go unchallenged though! This is why I am confused.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Are you on Twitter? If so, you would love this guy and should follow him:

            https://twitter.com/MrDane1982

          • Vincent Ricola

            Yeah, I know what you mean.

            Personally, I just feel like the damage has already been done with Bernie. The election disinformation campaign that he had Jeff Weaver run and “rigged primary” accusations turned me so far off that I can’t even be bothered.

        • h4rr4r

          Excuse my ignorance, but who is latinx? Never seen that before.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Cats, he is so deeply flawed that only sheer misogyny could explain the “fondness” for him. He:
          1. allowed the NRA to bankroll his first successful run for congress (he lost the previous 5 times), and then openly, avowedly paid them back by voting against the Brady Bill THREE times, and voted FOR the putrid, wicked, NRA-written bill that gives complete immunity even to bad apple gun dealers. (That bill was in response to the growing outcry about the careless bad apple gun dealer whose gun was used by the Washington sniper.) The NRA slid in a “complete immunity” bill, something no other American company has–you can sue ANY other company. And Bernie voted FOR it, saying “I keep my agreements.”
          2. dumped Vermont’s nuclear toxic waste on a small, minority town in Texas, telling the town “I’ve made my mind up and you aren’t going to like it.”
          3. voted for the surge in Iraq AND to invade Afghanistan, and even voted to bomb poor old Kosovo back in the 90s, and when anti-war protesters came to his office, he had them arrested.
          4. had a huge military boondoggle, involving three outdated fighter jets being housed at Burlington airport, I think to the tune of several trillion dollars (may be less).
          5. wrote some really, icky, squirrely things about women, positing, for example, that some women “fantasize about being raped by three men.”
          6. knowingly took money from the far right wing, from Crossroads, as I said above, and allowed the right-wing troll army to pretend to be Bernie supporters, to weaken Hillary, without ever condemning it.
          7. Also allowed a Republican meme to circulate–a deeply false chart that took all of Hillary’s donations, ever, including her previous run for President and her two Senate runs, bundled them by company so it looked, completely falsely, like big companies had made huge donations, and compared it to Bernie’s donations from this run only, also ignoring the fact that Hillary’s constituency naturally included people who worked at places like Goldman Sachs. No big banks in Vermont.
          8. visited the Soviet Union when it was still the USSR, in absolute contravention of U.S. policy at the time, and made anti-American speeches there and in Nicaragua, also in contravention of U.S. foreign policy.
          9. His wife was also responsible for a fraudulent loan that left a Roman Catholic church holding the bag to the tune of a million bucks, and ended up causing the college she was President of to be shuttered. Did he condemn this? He did not.

          No candidate is without skeletons, but Bernie’s seem particularly hypocritical considering what he pretends to stand for. And particularly heinous considering his supporters’ blind eye towards them. And his latest “blame the Democrats” is pretty rich coming from the guy who outright weakened Hillary for months, even continuing long after he’d lost.

          SORRY FOR THE RANT! SO SORRY!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I knew most of this stuff but reminders are always good. No apologies necessary.

          • Marceline

            Don’t apologize. We’ve got to keep fighting against the narrative of Bernie as some flawless saint because he is still out here throwing us under the bus.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      This is how he’s going to get people to vote Democrat? By trashing the party?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        No, this is how he’s going to get people to donate to Our Revolution and keep him as the public face of an opposition which depends on losing because they have no plan. Green tea party indeed.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Why are people on the left still enabling him? I’ve seen people brush off his undermining the fight for human rights because “he’s fighting for universal healthcare”.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Because they’re not on the left, or they’re so intoxicated from the methane rising from their rotting souls that they’re willing to destroy lives to win their point, so they’re not on the fucking left?

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Right? I’m pretty sure there’s some serious Russian trolling going on here, with or without his knowledge. He’s literally just trying to destabilize here, for his own ego.

        • Vincent Ricola

          Bingo.

    • h4rr4r

      Since when did being elite become a bad thing? Do you only visit doctors who were in the bottom half of their class?

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        As a former college professor, I couldn’t be more pro-education. I didn’t say “elite,” I said “elitist,” which is commonly understood to mean “snob,” or “someone who doesn’t care about the common people.”

        • h4rr4r

          Sorry, but these days I read elitist as someone who expects or respects education.

          The right has killed that word, now anyone who expects the bare minimum in culture or education is being an elitest.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            But it isn’t what it means. Sorry.

          • h4rr4r

            The meanings of words change with the common usage.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            And the common usage is “snob.” Not only is that the common meaning, but it is commonly understood to have that meaning, and it was clear in my original post that that’s what I meant.

          • h4rr4r

            I am glad that you and the mouse in your pocket agreed on that.

            To this reader it was not clear. What strange times we live in.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            “The mouse in my pocket”? You mean, the dictionary? Never mind. Just never, for one second, accuse me of being anti-education, k?

        • Weevie

          Not a dig, nor a comment on education, but we have to realize that many of the people who voted Trump can’t be educated to see what they did. Other methods have to be used, basic marketing stuff.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            That’s certainly true. I fully agree. Also, the RNC is willing to play really, really dirty, and the Dems need to stop pussyfooting around. Simple marketing is a big part of it.

      • therblig

        well, my proctologist anyway

    • Weevie

      1/3 of those eligible vote. Trump won with 1/6 of the possible votes. Clinton got the other 1/6. Both are pitiful.
      Regardless of how it’s done, Trump will be around forever if either the Democrats or Independents don’t get people excited. It doesn’t take much to get rid of Trump, he’s got all the votes he’ll ever get now and there are plenty more available.
      Democrats screwed up big time and if they or Independents don’t really jump into the fray, it’s 8 yrs of Turnip.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Still don’t think this was the Democrats screw-up. It was the Republicans’ deeply corrupt dirty-dealing. Having said that, the Dems certainly need to step up their game.

    • Marceline

      I was just thinking earlier this week that it had been a while since Bernie had been a famewhoring asshole.

  • cats530

    “Jacobs is both a pastor and a prophetess…”

    Ick. And “prophetess?” My ass!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “ME AND JESUS, WE HAD THE WILDEST TIME IN PRAYER!”

    “Speak for yourself, Cindy!”

    – Jesus Christ

    • Rick Hill

      “I had my eyes closed and was thinking of baseball…”

      • shastakoala

        Atheists invented ear buds.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Tight pants, big clubs, and lots of pitching and catching?

        • Rick Hill

          Anything except that gross ladies saying “Give it to me Jeebus! take me to your bosom!!”

          • Weevie

            Like Gulliver in Brobdingnag?

          • Rick Hill

            Is that in two Corinthians?

      • therblig
    • Latverian Diplomat

      At last she was filled…with the Holy Spirit.

      • Jon Sussex

        A Holy Trinity four-way.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Shouldn’t there be a punchline?
      “HOOEY! He rode that ass all the way into Jerusalem!”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    How evangelicals compete with other faiths:

    For the Jews, it’s Money: Donald Trump vs Jewish Banking Conspiracy
    For the Roman Cathloics, it’s Gibberish: Speaking in Tongues vs. The Latin Mass
    For the Russian Orthodox it’s Beards: Duck Dynasty vs Rasputin

  • cats530

    The Joel Osteen grifting show is rolling through my town (buy your tickets now!) and the commercials have been on, showing packed stadiums listening to this prosperity gospel horse shit. I can’t believe people buy this shit! I just can’t!

    • LucindathePook

      I want to punch his smarmy, smirky face.

      • h4rr4r

        I had to Google to get a picture, good with faces bad at names, but yeah that bastard has a face that needs to be smacked. He defines Backpfeifengesicht.

        • cats530

          His wife is pretty awful too.

    • Weevie

      Is that the latest tact? Money?

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      We’re a nation of toddlers. The combo of warped-Puritan-thinking-as-foundation-for-much-in-this-nation + long-underfunded and inadequate public education (critical-thinking skills aren’t taught; textbooks are freakshows, thanks to the far-reaching influence of the Texas bd of ed; and kids are no longer exposed to the arts, which would engage more students *and* improve analytic skills) — all of this yields cranky, unthinking kids grabbing Easy (But Fake) Solutions Every Time.

  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-diplomacy-idUSKBN16G34K

    The U.S. State Department held out the possibility on Thursday that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson might take reporters with him to Asia after it initially broke with decades of tradition by telling the media he would not.

    “We are still working out the logistics for this trip, so (we) cannot yet speak definitively as to whether we’ll be able to accommodate any press on the Secretary’s plane,” State Department spokesman Mark Toner wrote in an email.”Going forward, the State Department will do everything it can to accommodate a contingent of traveling media on board the Secretary’s plane.”

    The State Department told reporters earlier this week that Tillerson would not take any of them on a March 15-19 trip to Japan, South Korea and China, countries of strategic, military and economic interest to the United States.

  • Blackest Noobs

    what a dumb lady….Jewish people are already more wealthy than not God’s CHOSEN PEOPLE christians.

    as if this lady never been to a bar mitzvah…..dumb American christians..always trying to prove they’re dumber than YOU.

  • Rick Hill

    “A BOUNTIFUL JEW HARVEST!”

    I actually get subsidies to not grow Jews on the south 40.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      For the freshest Jews, it’s best to drive out into the country and visit a roadside stand.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        But be sure they are Kosher………….

      • Rick Hill

        You have to peel back the yamaka to check to see if they’re ripe, though. Looking for circumcised ones means they’re genuine

    • Weevie

      not for long.

  • Sophia

    Pretty sure that’s what Jesus did. Made millions of bucks so he could harvest all those Jews. It’s right there in my bible. I’ll edit to include the verse as soon as I find it.

    • Weevie

      I think he may have sort of died trying, but I’ll go look, too.

    • bluicebank

      Jesus: “I said fish, Peter, not Jews. We’re Jews for Christ’s sake. Oh and another thing, you’re going to fold like a cheap suit when I need you to go my bail. Asshole.”

  • Khavrinen

    “bring a great harvest of the Jews”

    Bringing in the (ye)sheave(as),
    Bringing in the (ye)sheave(as),
    We shall come rejoicing,
    Bringing in the (ye)sheave(as),

    • bluicebank

      That’s so wrong. lol

      • yyyaz

        I don’t wanna be right.

  • Anna Rompage

    Hey, at least most of those harvested jews meet both kosher & halal standards, I mean if they’re harvested correctly that is…

  • mardam422

    “ME AND JESUS, WE HAD THE WILDEST TIME IN PRAYER!”
    Fucking slut.

  • bluicebank

    Yeah. Look, lady grifter, if more than a century of having the most sparkling lights and world’s biggest shopping bacchanal in late December didn’t bring over the Jews, your fucking Rolls Royce ain’t gonna either.

  • oops

    • Carpe Vagenda

      OMG, Norman cover! Best completely-doctrinally-incoherent top ten hit ever!

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    This makes perfect sense. If all the Jewishes convert to be Jesusites then the Tribulation can happen, and then the Rapture. Or maybe the Rapture happens, the The Tribulation. It depends on who you ask. Some say neither will happen.
    Personally I think a bunch of Jewishes, Jesusites, and Mohamedans will be surprised when YHWH sends Moses, Jesus, and Mohamed all back on the same day.

    • h4rr4r

      Even more shocking to them will be when none of them show up, since they were just men and are now dead.

      • shaar dula

        and an entire corpus of humanity never even cared for any of this juvenile bs to begin with.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        And at least one of them never existed in the first place.

    • bluicebank

      You would think they’d spend some real effort at discovering Solomon’s Temple. Bonus if you find his hoard of gold. Which, legend has it, it next to a pin-up of that Nubian hotty.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I want to say to you … that one of the things I believe that’s going to bring a great harvest of Jews…is the Christians becoming so profoundly wealthy … that it’s going to make them jealous.

    Sure, because drawing on an offensive stereotype about an ethnic group is a great way to win them over!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ae24e88accd8ee6d25143f6e6f3dbcd6c7ae90f2154d4f8415360721a716f0d4.jpg

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Why not just cut out the “Prosperity Gospel” middleman and pay people to convert?

    • h4rr4r

      How would she get rich doing that?

    • bluicebank

      Blasphemer!

    • georgiaburning

      That’s been tried in China, communists became good at it

    • alpacapunchbowl

      But then how’s she supposed to get her cut?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    We can’t understand it either, Charles:

    https://twitter.com/CharlesMBlow/status/839814079380353025

    • georgiaburning

      Grading on the curve?

    • TJ Barke

      Dunning-Krueger, Mr. Blow. They’re too stupid to recognize stupid.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Someone who writes for the Times Op Ed page should not need that explained to them.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Why should Rex Tillerson have all the fun?

    https://twitter.com/AlexNBCNews/status/839959110380584961

  • azeyote

    so it’s kind of like using some warm milk to get a tapeworm out of someone – i never knew christians had jewish parasites that are purged with loot – that’s good to know in a pinch, but she said the jews have all the monies – maybe one could give me a loan –

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Anna Rompage

      Ding Dogn the dick is dead
      the dick is dead
      the dick is dead
      Ding Dong, the fascist old dick is dead!

    • Blackest Noobs

      i tend to think if there is a god…it/he/she is a merry prankster…so this dick gets to go to Gay Heaven…which for him would be Asshole Hell.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        That’s not very nice for the rest of gay heaven.

        • Anna Rompage

          That’s why they make ball gags…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I read somewhere that everyone gets the afterlife they imagine. Pretty sure this guy’s afterlife was not a very pretty place, even if he wasn’t imagining himself ending up there.

    • Treg Brown

      Probably didn’t get a flu shot. Anti-science, medieval doctors.
      Burn.

    • Yr. Gma

      Ah! He has converted from living to dead. I guess that brand of therapy worked.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  • Serai 1

    This is weirdly fascinating.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYXoCHLqr4o

  • Blackest Noobs

    i thought american christians hated the Jews….you know because 1) they killed Jesus and 2) they are holding up the apocalypse keeping these fools from being rapture’d ( which is the only REASON christians give two shits about Israel or the Jewish people)

    • Anna Rompage

      But jeebus won’t come back unless the jews are ruling Judea…

    • Yr. Gma

      Different sects have different beliefs about the Time of the End, and they also have different ideas about Jews. “American Christians” is a very broad term and would have to encompass every denomination from Catholics to Mormons and all the Methodists and Baptists and Episcopalians, etc., in between.

      • Blackest Noobs

        sure but the loudmouth meatbags are the variety i am talking bout….it’s pretty obvious if you ask me. the fat ones who say Jesus this and Jesus that but do pretty much nothing that Jesus wouldve actually do….that’s the American Christian of my reference.

  • Jenny

    So I am doing the work out stuff again and I’ve always lifted weights so now I need moar protein which I do a terrible job of getting. That means I’m back at spending monies on protein powders. I’ve tried a lot and this one I am taking is the first I’ve gotten down with just water. BPI Chocolate brownies. Still chalky but drinkable. Anyone else have any suggestions on decent tasting protein powders?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Sounds like you’ve found the best one already. And remember that cottage cheese, Greek yogurt and lentils are all good protein sources (assuming you’re not interested in meat sources.)

      • Jenny

        Greek yogurt I do every morning! Cottage cheese I am iffy about. Sometimes I love it, most of the time I get squeeked out at the texture especially if it is ice cold, room temperature is not safe bacteria wise but it tastes better to me. Milk, I can’t drink plain, for some reason. It has to be mixed in with things like cereal or vanilla. I think this BPI stuff will go down just fine with some skim milk. So that should boost the protein intake a bit too.

      • Rick Hill

        I heard something last month that Greek yogurt has protein taken out or something. Anyhoo, whey is the way to go

        • Yr. Gma
          • Rick Hill

            Guy must have confused curds with whey. He was talking about how they then feed the curds to cows and trying to make some lame point that this was not something cows would put up with.

          • Yr. Gma

            Calling Little Miss Muffet.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            ‘Curds and whery’ = cottage cheese. So, I dunno, just eat some cottage cheese?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      throw some frozen fruit in the blender with tofu.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Anna Rompage

    Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole, like republicans…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc2iLAubras

    • Carpe Vagenda

      But he kind of was?

      • The Flaming Carrot

        He was an asshole, but he was never CALLED an asshole.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          ah. I just googled. I did not know this song, although I did see the movie. #platoshrimp

        • Tallmutha

          Not in New York.

          (That’s in the song.)

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I’m straight, and I want to take his place.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_exvKnrK6g

  • aktlib101

    Heh, Bernie fighting the good fight (and NO, this is not Bernie vs Hillary, this is go team BLUE. Anybody working against the R-turdican agenda is good)
    ““The truth is, and I think anyone who objectively assesses the situation has to appreciate, that the model the Democrats have followed for the last 10 to 20 years has been an ultimate failure,” Sanders said in an interview with The Huffington Post from his Senate office in Washington.
    “That’s just the objective evidence. We are taking on a right-wing extremist party whose agenda is opposed time after time and on issue after issue by the vast majority of the American people. Yet we have lost the White House, the U.S. House, the U.S. Senate, almost two-thirds of the governors’ chairs and close to 900 legislative seats across this country. How can anyone not conclude that the Democratic agenda and approach has been a failure?”
    ““At the end of the day, being in the minority here in the Senate, the minority in the House, having a right-wing Republican president, the only way we are going to win this ― and I think we can win this ― is when millions of people stand up, especially in states that Trump carried, and say, ‘Excuse me. We did not elect you to be president to throw us off of health care. We did not elect you to cut back on the child care we desperately need,’” he said.
    “Trump has effectively turned one set of voters (working-class whites) against another (immigrants and refugees) to the point the real culprits (bottom-line-driven CEOs) skate by without reprimand or punishment”.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-donald-trump-voters_us_58c1ac90e4b054a0ea68fa17?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Sure. More of that.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Srsly, do you Dems really do this all the bloody time?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Those millions of people have to vote for someone from the party he’s trashing or all that standing up isn’t going to do any fucking good.

      • The Democratic Party shit the bed this election bigly. It will be people that are standing up to decide who will run next time.

        • Thiazin red

          How dare they not hand the nomination to someone who isn’t even a member, has no interest in supporting the party, seem to spend way more time shitting on it than anything else, and lost by every conceivable metric.

          • He lost with the help of the machinations of DWS and the DNC. Not the sole reason surely, but “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows”. They need a better ground game like Dean’s 50 state strategy or they’ll go down in flames again.

            Also, Hilary had the election in the bag by every conceivable metric and lost.

          • Thiazin red

            Yeah, no and him repeating this bullshit was inexcusable.

    • Thiazin red

      Or he could stop throwing temper tantrums, and either join the party or STFU.

      • Or he could keep on listening and calling out the Rs for their bullshit. Hillary lost because she listened to DNC advisors instead of addressing the people who were at Trump rallies along with the blue collar voters.

      • aktlib101

        Why would it matter whether Bernie is a Dem or not? He was a Dem not an independent during the elections, so he did not split the party. Democracy needs challenger, so no problem there. Stupid Jill Stein and people like her were a problem with part of the electorate, but not Bernie. Then, he lost to Hillary, which is fine. But then Hillary lost to the Orange Shitgibbon, and we all lost with her. And that was a big Democratic failure, no matter whether Russians, FBI etc interfered. On top of other failures when Dems lost the House and Senate and many other legislative positions. Problem is, indeed, that Dems were playing for so many years the “Republican-lite” card. This made the electorate not being able to separate the policies of Dems from Repubs, and consequently all the ills of the country were blamed on Obama, and this became an anti-Obama vote. And yes, the Shitgibbon perfectly used the us_vs_immigrant wedge to his advantage.

  • jaspersdad

    It’s not over ’til we dance on their graves.

    http://i.imgur.com/TlDlGbr.gif

  • Carpe Vagenda

    oh, ffs.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/839975848224698368

    The gist of the article is: the murderous drug-dealing clearly-roided-out blatant racist was economically insecure.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!
      You can search Twitter using the search box below or return to the homepage.

      Looks like someone woke the fuck up, maybe, and deleted it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Yr. Gma

      That slimy snake has no lips.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Oh, she runs Generals International. Good, let’s send her to Syria.

  • cats530

    Since it’s open thread, I was wondering about something: Does anyone know of even ONE GOP lawmaker who had anything decent to say about International Women’s Day?

    • Boko999

      I think one said women make excellent incubators for Republican spawn.

    • Weevie

      There were a lot of speeches about how useful women are, which puts half of humanity at the level of a shovel, something else useful.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Reading the article the tweet links to now. If anyone needs me, I’ll be fuming in the corner:

    https://twitter.com/ThePlumLineGS/status/839925420443193344

  • memzilla Ω
  • Picabo

    ““Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.”
    Barry Goldwater. Yes, THAT Barry Goldwater. We were warned by Barry Goldwater. Let that sink in. Read it at least five times.

    • Yr. Gma

      I remember Barry Goldwater. He was a rabid conservative but not quite as nutty as his bastard issue.

      • h4rr4r

        He would be a RINO now.

  • Boko999

    The only thing I hold against the Jews is their bastard offspring Christianity.

    • Michael R

      As a child I shoplifted marzipan and spit it out , and I’m still bitter about the experience .

      • Carpe Vagenda

        waitwot? Marzipan is the best.

        • Yr. Gma

          When he stole it, god made it taste bitter. Michael was an evil child.

          • Michael R

            It was in fruit shapes and tasted like
            wallpaper paste , now who is evil ?

          • Persistent Demme

            Oh, it was the American kind.
            (Not the yummy European kind.)

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Is that the candy you can only eat fresh?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I thought that was circus peanuts?

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            “What is Donald Trump, Alex”

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Uhh, I am quite sure that I don’t want to be around Donald when he’s fresh.
            Or ever.

          • Persistent Demme

            Don’t think so, “Mozartkugeln” (a really good one) is from Austria or Germany.

      • h4rr4r

        Marzipan libels!

        Marzipan is great and you are wrong.

      • Persistent Demme

        The American kind is gross.
        But the European kind, covered in chocolate, or with cherries (or both) is REALLY good.

  • Anna Rompage

    Speaking of the jews…

    Trump supporters call for ‘liberal genocide’ and deportation of Jews at Arizona Rally..

    Yay!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu9AgVQXM4k

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Jesus. I picked a random spot (around the 1:30 mark) and lasted fifteen seconds. Lunatics, all of them…

    • Treg Brown

      It’s at times like this I respectfully disagree with Michelle Obama, “When they go low, we go high”.

      • Weevie

        Yay! That’s how we got Trump! Came to a rugby match with badminton racquets.

      • OrG

        A little bit of European style Antifascista maybe?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        high…kicks to the face?

        Pretty sure that’s what she meant to say.

      • nightmoth

        Absolutely right, Treg! I say when they go low, push them into the mud.

        • Treg Brown

          Especially with the whole genocide thing…

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          They’re already there. Been there, under rocks, for quite some time.

      • Jamoche

        I prefer the Chicago Way as described by Sean Connery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPZ6eaL3S2E

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      What a sad spectacle. Fucking morons all around. Ignorant, paranoid, liver-spotted, useless lumps of DNA waste.

    • Weevie

      Some people seriously need something to do. That ain’t it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • DainBramage

      I still don’t get why the Repugs want to own healthcare. Sure, they want to destroy any good that the Democrats have done, because they are evil. But if they pull this off, every crappy healthcare situation will be their fault. Seems shortsighted.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        But shortsighted is their number one jam!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          It’s got a beat, and they can dance to it!

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        You think that (shortsighted) because you’re rational. But even when loads of GOPs lose their healthcare and get sick, get sicker, and go bankrupt paying for treatment (or lose loved ones), they will still find a way to blame this on the “failures” of Obamacare that “necessitated” its repeal.
        ….. Another wonkette (sorry I can’t give credit) shared a Vox story on people in KY who love their O-care but voted for Dump anyway. What’s happening in the US goes far beyond stupidity and bigotry; we’re looking at widespread, low-level mental illness. (When denial and cognitive dissonance are intense enough to prompt people to act against their hardwired instincts for survival and instead vote for policies that will kill them, that qualifies as mental illness.)
        http://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2016/12/13/13848794/kentucky-obamacare-trump

  • bookish

    So Tillerson, friend of Putin and Russia expert, is heading off to the Far East. Preferably without a media escort. Quite a valuable and expensive asset to devote to a State Department that is being gutted, with a portfolio on the opposite side of the world.

    And Huntsman, with no Russia experience but expertise in the East and the Pacific, will be our envoy to Russia. The Russians don’t like or trust him. And Huntsman has publicly opposed The Orange One in the past. WIll the administration like or trust him?

    Interesting symmetry.

    • Weevie

      Tillerson has said exactly 0 words to the press so far that I can remember.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      “The Russians don’t like or trust him.” He should hire a food taster to his entourage/staff.

  • Sheepshagger
  • Anna Rompage

    Dog butt jesbus says come to me and partake of my flesh, https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/499ca495f278169b4c16b06eefcbbf9cb0e072a9e68e095502d59ba1777df4ad.jpg so that you too may be saved….

    • mardam422

      You have to send that to every fundie you know. That is fucking fantastic. So much better than toast Virgin Mary.

  • shaar dula

    OT. personally need some balance. regressing to past. scenes from nagarahole – literally snake-river. One of the better kept national parks in Asia, with one the happier conservation stories in general.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsyhzZidZOQ

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    WHOA…wonder if she’s seen the tape:

    https://twitter.com/LawyerRogelio/status/839945730462793733

    • Shibusa

      The look on her face in that screen shot suggests that she has seen it.

      • Courser_Resistance

        … and deeply wishes she hadn’t

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          “When you realize brain bleach can never get that stain out.”

    • Courser_Resistance

      Damn, now that’s something. Rep. Waters has been on FIRE.

    • jowgajen

      She says she believes it’s credible and needs investigating. She also said she believes that he should and will be impeached.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Impeached, convicted, removed from office, then put in irons and tried, convicted and jailed for his crimes by the regular courts.

  • Picabo

    Total solar eclipse on August 21. Here’s the map of where it will be in the US. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57f6501a04b9310bbc2765a6865197a2f2950a254ab772f0204d07a59fd06dd4.jpg

    • shaar dula

      ya my colleague is going to see this. i hope we can see this too.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Saw a total eclipse here in Winnipeg in Feb. 1979. One of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I remember that one. The UofO campus was in the 95% totality zone, but it was a cloudy day (February in Oregon, meh) and it got very dark. Also, too, I had a midterm that day and couldn’t head north to the totality path.

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          I remember waking up that morning. The first thing I did was look out the window to see if it was cloudy, and I was so happy to see it was clear. My parents let us stay home from school to watch, because the schools would not let students go outside to view it due to liability concerns if a kid had their eyesight damaged by looking at the sun without eye protection. My dad brought #14 welder’s glass home for us to look through. (You can, of course, look safely without protection during totality.) The oddest thing, for me, was seeing cars driving past during totality as though nothing was happening. A once in a lifetime event, and they didn’t even pull over to watch. People are so goddamn strange.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Woohoo! Right overhead nearby.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Donald wants to reach out to women…and chooses a racist one to do so! He’s got us now!!!

    https://twitter.com/UniteWomenME/status/839984208898580480

    • shaar dula

      what a waste of human birth. just hate. nothing positive, contributive or forward looking. total waste of life nourishing placenta.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • jowgajen

      This is utterly unethical.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Hence no Rethuglican has the slightest objection to it.

    • Sheepshagger

      It’s the only way to keep the Texas lege fully staffed.

    • Treg Brown

      The comments were so heartening. 95% of them, men and women, were outraged.

    • OrG

      These thugs never take a day,do they?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Doctor, tell me the truth! Will my baby come out all Gohmerted?!”

      “I cannot answer that, ma’am.”

      • Sheepshagger

        “Perry babies can have rich, full lives”.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      What a fucking repulsive piece of shit.

    • Persistent Demme

      Have you read “The Handmaid’s Tale?”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      What part of “I will not use my medical knowledge to violate human rights and civil liberties, even under threat;” from the Declaration of Geneva (or even “Into whatsoever houses I enter, I will enter to help the sick, and I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm, especially from abusing the bodies of man or woman, bond or free.” from the original Hippocratic Oath) is not clear?

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        It’s an old joke: they’ve replaced the Hippocratic Oath with the Hypocritic Oath.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      And then when the poor kid pops out and needs even more medical care than even your average baby, eh, fuck you, new mom. Your shite insurance (if you even have it) doesn’t cover anything, too bad, so sad!
      Forced birth advocates fucking disgust me.
      ETA: And since the disability was previously diagnosed, is that a dealbreaker pre-existing condition?
      Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

  • Oneofthebobs

    So Jesus was all about wealth and jealousy. Who knew?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      News to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, for starters.

  • mardam422

    It’s not easy to get a good harvest of Jews.

    • Sheepshagger

      Getting the Combine into the diamond district is a challenge.

      • mardam422

        Nice.

    • memzilla Ω

      I don’t even know what fertilizer to use!

  • nightmoth

    Here’s my yip-yap: does anyone have any approximate stats on how the gay demographic voted last 11/9? Particularly the gay white male segment? Also, what is the proper social etiquette for a Southern woman upon discovering that her gay white male acquaintance is a Log Cabin Republican?

    • Sheepshagger

      Maybe talk about an open marriage?

    • Picabo

      Bless your heart!

      • Treg Brown

        yup. and avoidance.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Absolutely positively my very first thought!

    • snark-lurker

      RUN!

      • Picabo

        In skydiving it’s track away then pull.

        • snark-lurker

          DIVE! DIVE!

    • jowgajen

      “Bless your heart” is in order here.

      • jowgajen

        To be fuller in my reply.

        Log Cabin Repukes were kind of cute in the ’00s. But at this point they should FUCKING KNOW BETTER. He has just confessed to you that he is at best a major idiot with a hearty dollop of self-loathing fool. But more likely he is a major dickwad with sexist and racist tendencies who cares more about money than anyone or anything else.

        • sw19bunnies

          The trouble, if you’re a fiscally conservative/prudent individual, and the _only_ thing you have in common with the Democratic caucus is a social liberal stance that affects you personally (as opposed to going along with the quiet DADT stance of moderate conservatism), who would you vote for?

          Being inside your chosen tent, trying to get things done and change people’s points of view, is precisely what liberals are asking of Bernie Bros and Steiniacs.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I could almost understand that, except Trump is neither a fiscal conservative, nor a prudent individual. To vote for him would be a betrayal of those principals. And to do so, knowing that many, many people will be seriously, physically harmed (people with insurance through the ACA, immigrants, women of child-bearung age, black people, yes gays, etc.)is unconscionable.

          • jowgajen

            Yeah no. That world is gone.

            One of the blessings that comes with being a queer white person is a brand new standpoint from which you can notice that the world is not fair. That hard work does not always lead to success. That you can do everything “right” and still be born wrong.

            From this place you can share that knowledge. You can reach to build bridges between the various communities and forge a new, fairer world. The Republicans don’t want justice. They have made this crystal clear. They are happy with the lie and the advantages the lie gives them.

            I have two friends, a couple who live in Western MD, who are working within the Republican party in their red community. They have gotten themselves appointed to boards and committees and they are actively working to make their local government more ethical. They use every opportunity to share their complete grasp of intersectionality, and call people out directly for being racist, sexist or homophobic.

            If your guy is doing that, then fine. But that’s not my experience with LCRs.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Ding ding ding!

        • nightmoth

          I have in fact noticed racist and sexist tendencies in the past and he does care a hell of a lot about money. I am DISAPPOINTED.

    • Marceline

      Once I would’ve said try to work through it but now being a Republican means being pro-Trump. I think shunning is in order. Of course I ended a 20 year friendship with one person and stopped seeing my doctor of 30 years over their Trump votes so I may not be the right person to ask.

      • snark-lurker

        I say YEAHA to you!

      • Persistent Demme

        I have relatives I will (gladly) never speak to again.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Shunning…maybe a backhand to the head. Anyone who voted for Trump is dead to me. They are saying far more with their vote than “I disagree with you politically”. They are expressing contempt and vindictiveness toward everything I’ve ever believed in or stood for. Why bother continuing to be “nice”, or a loyal customer, or any of that shit. Fuck ’em. Let them live with the consequences of their choice.

        • snark-lurker

          Hear Here & Bravo!

      • I also ended a contentious relationship with my only cousin who is a god-botherer. She’s 7 yrs older and I always looked up to her like a big sister. No regrets.

    • Shibusa

      I have a gay white born-again Christian male acquaintance who voted very happily for Trump. I don’t get it. (Pretty sure his husband secretly voted for Hillz, though.)

      • Persistent Demme

        Oh, he has a husband?
        Tell him: “you’re welcome!”

        • sw19bunnies

          Fuck you I got mine.

    • Persistent Demme

      I’m glad he’s just an acquaintance, cause that would be a deal-breaker for me.
      I don’t need that kind of self-hating vibe in my life.
      (Good thing we, (and you) are here, to fight his battles for him.)

    • TJ Barke

      Tell him: “Go fuck yourself, collaborator.”

      • Persistent Demme

        Thank you!
        I was thinking that!

    • Roni Resistance Raven

      “Bless your heart.”

    • Persistent Demme

      Evan, darling…
      You’re white, gay, male, Southern, and supremely witty!
      What would you say?

    • shivaskeeper

      Same way you would treat anyone else. It’s a practical application of equality. If you would blow off a white cis man or woman, then do the same thing.

      • nightmoth

        Well, I’m not gonna blow him off, but it does make me angry and confused. I’m surrounded by ignorant redneck Trumpanzees, and I have compassion for them, because I believe that they have been conned by a snake oil salesman who has appealed to their fears and prejudices. I am bisexual myself, although no longer “practicing,” and I don’t know how to connect with a wealthy, educated gay white man who would vote for Trump.

        • shivaskeeper

          His being gay is immaterial to how you should treat him. You should treat him as you would any other acquaintance who you know at the same level who voted for DJT.

          • nightmoth

            Which means finding a compassion entry.

          • shivaskeeper

            Compassion could work.

          • nightmoth

            I know he’s old south and thinks blacks are inferior. Maybe if I introduced him to a gay male black friend who’s probably going to lose his health care it would enlighten him?

          • shivaskeeper

            I don’t know him or your other friend. The question is do you think it would enlighten him?

            How would your black friend respond to even being asked to meet this guy? He’s a southern racist who voted for DJT who also happens to be gay.

          • nightmoth

            My black friend is a very outgoing flamboyant artist and if they meet at a big party at my house, who knows what will happen? Maybe the staid old south guy will have some new thoughts because he’s out of his comfort zone.

          • shivaskeeper

            Maybe. Make sure your flamboyant friend is on board though. If he’s unaware that you are using him for a social experiment he could get pissed at you.

          • nightmoth

            Really, I’m probably dreaming. I’ve tried mingling people before at parties, and it didn’t work. All the gays wound up on the porch and the straights inside, or all the conservatives left once the liberals started talking–it never seems to work. I guess we’re hard-wired for tribalism and homogeneity, even though we really are all related and part of the same big human family. One world should be enough for all of us, etc.

          • shivaskeeper

            Of course we’re hardwired for tribalism. It’s a survival trait. As for your party groups splitting off, into their own subgroups, that’s just hanging out with people who have common interests and that’s normal.

            As far as it goes, I’m all for talking to people who don’t share my world view or ideology. In this case I’ve been a big advocate of talking to the DJT supporters who I think can be reached and shown a better way. However I am only willing to address their legitimate fears, if it was their fears that caused them to go the way they did. I won’t even bother with their hate. For example if they voted for DJT because they were afraid their church would be forced to marry someone against church policy, I will be willing to address that with cites and proof. Religion is a strong motivator and I can laugh at their unfounded fear or I can attempt to make them not afraid. If they voted for DJT out of hatred, I won;t bother with them. They are lost and not worth my time.

          • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

            Or, because he’s out of his comfort zone, he’ll be anxious and even more hostile and he’ll make all sort of awful generalizations and cement his icky views. Proceed with caution.

          • nightmoth

            Christ. That could happen.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      One figure: “14% of LGBT people voted for Donald Trump and other loathsome election facts”
      http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/11/14-lgbt-people-voted-donald-trump-loathsome-election-facts/

      • nightmoth

        That’s what I was trying to find. Thx for the link!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, time to take my babies to the dog park–back with you and Twitter later. Leaving you with the latest from Keith:

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/839989745094651904

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ayup. Van Jones will burn in seven Hells for his idiocy. Chris Wallace was already on the way, and besides, at Faux Noise, you’re expected to ignore reality in favor of “conservative” fantasy.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Michael R

      Once in a while they wake up and the next day they are asleep again

    • shaar dula

      this is as rare as and as fleeting as a total eclipse.

    • shaar dula

      once in a life time.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Let the water hold me down.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert
  • sw19bunnies

    Re: yesterday. Nice rendering of a Maya Angelou poem:
    http://zenpencils.com/comic/153-maya-angelou-phenomenal-woman/

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    You can’t swing a cat these days without coming across an article intended to plumb the mind of a Trumphole voter. They always seem to try to make them seem more complicated, sympathetic, and nuanced than we imagine them to be. The Trumphole in question always starts off by saying how much he/she resents being characterized by the lazy, satanic libtards as ignorant and racist, then proceeds to spend the rest of the interview saying profoundly ignorant, racist things. I mean, every. fucking. time. I’ve begun to think they just profile the same person over and over again, changing the name, gender, and home town.

    • OrG

      HEY,that’s NOT reaching out.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The only time I reach out these days is while wearing a pair of brass knuckles.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I am having great success with cold, cold eyes and a withering smile. I play mean.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I don’t believe you. You’re like, the nicest person on the planet.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Bwahahahahaha!!! At last, my evil plans for domination have come to fruition!

          • shivaskeeper

            Does not seem like a well thought out plan.

            1: Be exceedingly nice
            2: Claim to have mean eyes
            3: ???
            4: World domination

            I kid of course. But you are really a very nice and kind person.

        • OrG

          Votes not required!

        • therblig
    • TJ Barke

      Ignorance is kind of required…

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE CATS??? Swing an iguana one of these times!
      Other than that, I totally agree. ALWAYS. I also am seriously beginning to resent the endless “plumbing the mind” of the Trumphole. (a) as TJ says, there is no mind and (b) why not “plumb” the angry Hillary supporters? Or the even angrier black voters? Oh, the poor white man has a sad! That’s MUCH more important to “people.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I think the phrase refers to a cat-o’-nine-tails. But hey, either way…

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Really? That’s actually much better. I always visualized hateful people swinging actual cats.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Hey, swinging an iguana will make it lose it’s tail. I’ve had one as a pet for about 20 years(kept it’s tail the whole time), and they are already miserable from the start. No need to wish ill on them, they are the harbingers of misery and doom. Also, too, be nice to cats.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Oh, I know, I shouldn’t even have made the joke. My son had a beautiful life-size iguana puppet and I wouldn’t even swing that. I write among other things, animated movies featuring sentient animals (a la Madagascar, altho I didn’t write that one), and recently wrote a script that included three pesty, over-eager, mouthy geckos who actually save the day for the other animals. (They keep insisting “We can help! We’re sticky!” and the other animals tell them to get lost, but it turns out their stickiness is just what’s needed for the hero rabbit to do a Mission-Impossible type stunt to climb the side of a building, using them on his paws HAHAHA well I thought it was funny.)

    • Persistent Demme

      I signed up to register voters and “listen” with these guys: https://swingleft.org/
      I’ll register voters, but will have to resist the urge to either throw up or commit acts of violence if I have to “listen.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Bless you for your commitment and patience. As much as I advocate democracy, there are aspects of it I am just not cut out for.

    • Suse

      I know, and it’s getting much worse. I have to laugh at the morans who say, “I am NOT a racist, I’m a racialist.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah, ’cause a racialist is so much more kinder and gentler.

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          Well, according to an old-time-y def. (which these racist loons are using for cover), racialism “simply” meant that there were distinct races:

          In 1903, W. E. B. Du Bois said that racialism is the philosophical position that races existed, and that collective differences existed among such categories, the races.[citation needed] That racism required advancing the argument that one race is superior to other races of human beings. … [Writer] Kwame Anthony Appiah summarized Du Bois’s philosophical stance that racialism is value-neutral term and that racism is a value-charged term.

          (wikicrapia)

  • SterWonk

    “… commence to yip-yapping or whatever”

    I thought only Bonkers was allowed to “commence” with Yip-Yap, on account of married?

  • Rick Hill
  • CATMAN

    A Mr. Friedman has a response to Cindy
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0ZMj5RksbE

  • shaar dula
    • Thiazin red

      “Local cow has triplets” was a real headline in my town’s local newspaper a few years ago.

      • shaar dula

        When we were in TN, we gave a name to the neighborhood cow we used to see everyday on our way to work. And when Kara gave birth, we went to see her. Our neighbor was bemused.

        • Rick Hill

          Used be a big plastic ox outside of Mueller’s ice cream, many years ago. Us kids called him Herb. Every time we saw it we’d say “There’s herb ox!” Mom only recently told us how funny she thought that was…

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Is crop insurance available for a Jew harvest? Asking for a friend.

    • Picabo

      Not on the CBOT as far as I can tell.

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        Bummer! They don’t cover cannabis either, what good is a crop insurance program that doesn’t cover the important stuff.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • shaar dula
  • WomanInThePersistence

    Say, you know who else harvested Jews? (Apologies if this has been asked already. I’m too lazy to scroll through 600 comments.)

  • unclejeems

    Mmmm. Jesus must have been whacked out on acid. He plainly forgot to tell her about the business about him throwing the money changers out of the temple, the camel-through-the-eye-of-the-needle business, and the careless rich guy whose soul was required of him. (“Lay not your treasures upon earth . . . ” etc.) But then, I reckon her version of the Bible differs significantly from mine.

    • FDRliberal

      According to the Tea Party Bible, when Jesus was being led to the cross, the Apostles rose up from their secret hidden positions and sprayed the Roman guards with their AR-15s. Jesus himself then pulled a Glock from under his robe, took out Pontius Pilate and made his escape. On the third day he came back with his posse, blasting Ted Nugent.

      • therblig

        fucked up shit from rwnj co-worker.
        @2:57 – “and because evil like this exists, guys like me need a gun”
        this is the fucked up mindset we’re dealing with

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoDP5xEsVlQ

        • FDRliberal

          Cultist, brainwashed, paranoid morons.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      You know, apparently that actually is true. They have a rewritten version of the Bible (which has been rewritten over and over in all the various translations over the years), which has very little to do with the teachings of their Christ.

    • shivaskeeper

      The camel through the eye of a needle. I knew that one was going to come up. Here’s how you get around that in the prosperity gospel circles.

      The claim is there was an actual well know historical gate in the walls of Jerusalem that was known locally as the Needle’s Eye because it was so narrow. A fully laden camel could get through the gate but only if it was packed out correctly. In this case the whole passage in the Bible is a metaphor based on a colloquial expression that these pastors have figured out. The same pastors who by the way usually insist on a straightforward reading of the Bible with no metaphors, similes, or allusions allowed, except when they want to use one to twist something to fit their point.

      So what that passage really means is a rich man can enter Heaven as long as he says the right magic words to get his spiritual life in order.

      No, it doesn’t make any sense. No, it’s not actually true. No one in the flock who gets told this bullshit will ever question it as long as it justifies the amassing of wealth against the rest of the teachings in the New Testament.

      • unclejeems

        Shiva, sure, thanks for that reference and the comment. Believe it or not, as a former Southern Baptist, I was aware of that interpretation. But I didn’t really didn’t want to get into biblical hermeneutics.

        I think my point, though, is that it’s pretty hard to escape the view that the New Testament is a gospel for the poor and the downtrodden. And that the rich don’t come off very well. The fact that this witch can spout this nonsense and get away with it is a pretty poor comment on modern evangelical and “conservative” Protestant Christianity.

        I have to believe that those folks are actually largely ignorant of the Bible. Otherwise, they’d never swallow this swill. This is especially sad for Baptists. The real foundation of that group is the so-called “priesthood of the believer,” that is, each person’s interpretation of the bible is valid, and that communities of similar, but not identical beliefs, can come together, agree to disagree, and get along just fine. This assumes, of course, that each believer reads (or even can read) the Bible.

        But the Southern Baptist Church has been perverted into a top-down organization, run by a few power-hungry loons who pass down the Word to the pastors who then pass it on to their congregations. Anyway, sorry for the screed.

        Thanks for your comment

        • shivaskeeper

          Don’t apologize for the screed. It’s not like comments are even allowed here.

          I would agree that most of them haven’t read the Bible, or if they did, they didn’t understand it. They just agree with the pastor tells them it means. You are also correct about not disagreeing with the SBC gatekeepers. As far as they are concerned there are four requirements: anti abortion, anti evolution, anti gay, and biblical inerrancy as long as they get to tell you what it means. Do those four things and you get to stay in good standing.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    OK, so.

    This is an epic story of wow seriously people back the fuck off.

    https://twitter.com/StopTrump2020/status/839981289042300929

    • Marceline

      He looks high.

      • OrG

        That would explain some things.

      • He’s not that cool of a dude

        • OrG

          It’s not just for the “cool kids” anymore.

      • Panika MCD

        all legislators are high.

        • sw19bunnies

          hence ‘high crimes’

          • Panika MCD

            for which they don’t stand trial until session’s over.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He so does.

    • Panika MCD

      watch out Putin!

  • nightmoth

    That preacher woman is a trip. “They (Jews) understand in their culture that obedience to God brings blessings.” Like genocide, you stupid twit?

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      I guess in their so-called religion, anyone can be a preacher?

    • Panika MCD

      also too: global climate change!

      you get a beachside property! and you get a beachside property! everybody gets a beachside property!!!

      http://e.lvme.me/ejpklmp.jpg

  • FDRliberal

    Did someone say that 10 million would lose their insurance if TrumpCare is passed? According to Brookings it’s 15 million. At the very least.

    https://twitter.com/BrookingsInst/status/839943912345206784

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Also, too. It’s not just the people who will “lose coverage.” It’s ALL OF US, who will lose mental health/substance abuse care coverage, who will lose free preventative care, who will no longer be able to cover our young adult kids till age 26, and we will be returned to the days of being randomly denied, sometimes after expensive surgery; having punitive lifetime caps; and they’ll certainly figure out a way to re-define “pre-existing condition.” They’re also coming after women’s health care in a big way. ALL of us will suffer. Refusing to cover mental health care is the ultimate in inhumanity, and is loathsomely hypocritical considering these same shitwhistles also piously explain away the need to stem gun violence by insisting we need mental health care.

      • FDRliberal

        What these bastards want to do to the American public is a fucking crime.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Are there no prisons? The workhouses?

      • Me not sure

        There are, in fact, treadmills at the gym.

      • h4rr4r

        Prisons are going to be full now that Sessions will be going after the debils weed!

    • OrG

      A lot of people that don’t outright lose their coverage will be priced out,but they’ll still have access.Just like I have “access” to a Rolls Royce.

      • therblig

        lower your expectations. get in touch with lori. settle for a maclaren or land rover.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    Wow, she has achieved the rare Quadruple Anti-Semite Biellman Spin!
    1. All those Jewishes care about, with their big noses, is MONEY.
    2. We have to “harvest” them because they are not animate beings.
    3. They are demons who believe in a SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT VERSION of a magical fairy in the sky, so they mustn’t be allowed to continue to believe that. Because they are demons.
    4. THEY’RE the moneygrubbers, not me, THAT’S why you have to give me money, because of THEM! Haha! I’M no moneygrubber! MY nose is completely normal!

    • unclejeems

      Right on. I think the “harvest” business is a biblical reference–a “harvest” of souls, so to speak. That may be the least offensive thing she said, though.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s it actually. Harvesting souls for Jesus through conversion and baptism. Doesn’t make her and her ilk any more anti-Semitic. All the Joooz are Christ killers anyway unless they are Messianic Jews who believe in the divinity of Christ.

        • Panika MCD

          I thought they were supposed to be fishers of men…?

          • shivaskeeper

            Fisher, harvester, it’s all the same as long as it sounds vaguely pastoral. Pastoral in the vein of simple country living/farming, not the spiritual guidance pastoral.

            Also the Southern Baptist in general are on a big soul harvesting and revival kick again.

          • Panika MCD

            who calls things that come out of a pastor’s mouth “pastoral”? it’s always the walk in the garden where you anthropomorphize the plants into your lover that is called pastoral.

        • h4rr4r

          Harvesting souls sounds way too metal for that hippy pacifist jesus.

        • magyar of infinite power

          a.k.a. Christians. I have never understood Messianic Jews.

      • Panika MCD

        but do we put the souls in baskets or threshers?

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Even so, the common “Christian” trope, of needing to pull the Jews out of their religion forcefully, because they’ve decided that they can’t have that religion, is still pretty deeply offensive. My mother was once talking about the concentration camps–my Dad’s mother was a survivor, and my Dad barely escaped on the Kindertransport. And a Christian friend told her she felt so bad for the Jews in the camps. Not because of the concentration camps. Because they were going to hell. I don’t think I can think of anything more offensive.

        • h4rr4r

          Every time I read something like this I am forced to remember that Merchant of Venice was a comedy.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            And surprisingly sympathetic to the Jews, given when it was written.

    • Panika MCD

      as long as you’re channeling the challenged Jesus lady:

      if there’s nothing wrong with your nose, why is your voice so nasally?

    • Thiazin red

      Upvote for Biellmann spin!

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • Sheepshagger

      “My tooth just fell out. Now what’s that about?”

      • sw19bunnies

        Brundlefly Libels!!!!

      • Panika MCD

        “I stabbed you, but the knife bounced off your tooths.” ~ Dr. BC

    • shivaskeeper

      How does this motherfucker function then? Explain that.

      • DainBramage

        Scientists are stumped!

        • shivaskeeper

          I’m not a scientist or a doctor and I’m stumped at how someone who is touted as being so damn smart and skilled becomes this guy. No one around him noticed he was slipping into delusions like this? No one?

    • Panika MCD

      I have it on good authority that brains are not biological so they can’t be part of the human body.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Does this good authority also contend that fish is not an animal?

        • Panika MCD

          it contends it knows where I’m supposed to pee.

    • Villago Delenda Est
    • proudgrampa
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah, the Jacksonville Jaguars…the perennial juggernaut of professional football. Jesus, this guy really is fucking brain dead.

    • FDRliberal

      The brain is like Blake Bortles? Far out. You know if Ben Carson weren’t a right-wing asshole, I would have guessed him to be a Timothy Leary devotee. He sounds like one of those TV hippies that would occasionally appear in Dragnet.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Blake Bortles? A guy who has gone 11-34 as a QB for one of the most moribund franchises in the NFL?
      Good grief.

      • h4rr4r

        Well maybe if you drank less……

      • magyar of infinite power

        They need some Tebow Magic!

    • Thiazin red

      I have literally explained the brain to five year olds in a more accurate, easy to understand and less insulting way.

    • John Lo

      Someone please explain to Dr. Carson that if one has a brain, it should be engaged before the apparatus that reveals what the brain is generating begins to vibrate the airwaves. I refer to his insane statement that slaves on ships to the Americas were “immigrants.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If you believe that the Pyramids were built as grain silos, slaves as “immigrants” makes perfect sense!

    • Me The People

      So he is saying….you need a brain to live? Such insight. A true science communicator, that one.

    • OrG

      This guy’s bio HAS to be fake.There is no fucking way he is a FOR REAL brain surgeon.

      • jowgajen

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Carson

        I don’t get it either. I try, I have some working theories:

        1. Drugs, or maybe religion, fucked up his brain.
        2. Some sort of degenerative thing?
        3. The realization that brain surgeons aren’t all that after all? I mean they’re basically mechanics, right?
        4. The Republican’s main argument against affirmative action may have some anecdotal evidence.
        5. This is an extreme example of being promoted to your level of incompetence.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        He actually operated — successfully — on one of my cousins in infancy — birth defect, the kid needed a shunt, and needed subsequent ops. This was in Jan. 1976, tho, and I dunno whathafuk has happened to Carson in the past 40 years. He didn’t seem like a nutcase whenever he was profiled in the 70s and 80s.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Gee, I dunno, Ben, YOUR body seems to be doing nicely without a brain in it.

  • bookish

    https://www.propublica.org/article/meet-hundreds-of-officials-trump-has-quietly-installed-across-government/

    These are some of the people the Trump administration has hired for positions across the federal government, according to documents received by ProPublica through public-records requests.

    While President Trump has not moved to fill many jobs that require Senate confirmation, he has quietly installed hundreds of officials to serve as his eyes and ears at every major federal agency, from the Pentagon to the Department of Interior.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Jesus Christ, this lady. Don’t say The Romans didn’t try to warn us!

  • bookish

    https://www.propublica.org/article/rules-frozen-by-trump-could-melt-away-without-a-trace/

    Federal agencies were preparing these rules and dozens more when Donald Trump was elected. In one of his first acts, the president quietly froze them. That isn’t unusual. Presidents Clinton, Bush and Obama signed similar orders.

    Unlike in previous administrations, however, this time the proposed rules are long shots to be finished and enacted. Because of “the very clear signals of an anti-regulatory mandate from the president,” they are less likely to be implemented than in prior eras, according to Sally Katzen, a New York University law professor and former deputy director for management at the Office of Management and Budget. Instead, they may vanish with little or no announcement or explanation. Already, they have disappeared from the main federal website that lists rules in the works.

  • Panika MCD
  • John Lo

    (Xian Trigger Warning)

    There’s always time for blasphemy. Jesus can take a giant lick off my shitty ass.

    (I won’t be offended if you delete this Wonkette)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Doesn’t break the rules as far as I see.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      You must be new to Wonkette. Welcome!

  • Shibusa
    • Michael R

      He is GOD to them , final answer

    • OrG

      It’s a fucking CULT.

      • Rick Hill

        They are deeply denying the truth and latching on to whatever justifies their point of view. Even more as they watch trump swirl round the toilet bowl

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      What the hell is in these peoples’ water.

      • Rick Hill

        They are totally invested in trump being right and it’s destructing in front of their eyes. They can’t admit to being wrong or acknowledging anything that points to that.

      • epazote

        Fracking fluids, fly ash, untreated sewage

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Um, Trump can’t even tell the truth from day to day…and most of the time what he says today contradicts what he said yesterday.
      But sure, he’s a straight-shooter. Now I’m going to go dunk my head in a bucket of scotch.

      • jowgajen

        Save me some. :/

  • bookish

    https://medium.com/oversightdems/federal-recordkeeping-laws-5ea4283d9669#.ul9g1q24c

    House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) and Ranking Member Elijah Cummings (D-MD) sent a letter to the White House and 55 federal agencies requesting information on how each entity is complying with the Presidential Records Act (PRA) and the Federal Records Act (FRA).

    Recent news reports raise questions as to whether some White House officials and federal employees are using various messaging applications to conduct official business, in possible violation of the PRA and FRA.

    • Mike Steele

      Also re Cummings: He met w/Cheeto to discuss lowering Rx prices. Cheeto issues triumphant tweet that cheaper scrips are a-comin’. This morning, on a Peter Welch amendment to that point, House Ways & REALLY Means (R)s unanimously voted “No way, SUCKERS!” And so it goes…

  • Sheepshagger

    Family values republican state senator shtupping an opiate addicted nurse in his employ. Well signs and wonders indeed.

    http://www.nashvillescene.com/news/features/article/20854379/in-a-divorce-trial-serious-allegations-about-sen-joey-hensley

    • Treg Brown

      You forgot to mention the nurse is also his “lover”…and 2nd cousin.

      Also too, “Hensley gained national notoriety in 2012 as a sponsor of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, which would have banned public school teachers from even mentioning that homosexuality exists.”

      God fuckin’ bless america.

      • Sheepshagger

        I sorta thought it went without saying that he’d be a serial adulterer, drug dealer, cheap pimp and cousin fugger.

        • Treg Brown

          You nailed it. :- )

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        Emphasis mine:
        … Dr. Joey Hensley, a Republican state senator who also happens to be a family physician … has run for office since 2002 on a platform of conservative Christian values.

        Barber testified … [that their] relationship did not become sexual until December 2014, after the divorce became final between Hensley and his fourth wife

    • Panika MCD

      you also too forgot to say that he was her supplier.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, as some conservative commentors have noted, they no longer will fall into your trap of having to live up to ideals, regardless of whether they were the ones who claimed to have those morals or whatever. trump’s election proves that lying, cheating, womanizing assholes are accepted so find a new line of attack, libtards.

    • Panika MCD

      and that the divorce was his 4th to another nurse, but he kept potential wife #5 at $15/hr. which I believe is generally the starting salary…what? no blowjob bonus?

    • Panika MCD

      wait: which divorce was he devastated by? this thing is reading like a romance novel. our Evan should do a full investigation!

    • Panika MCD

      and he gives her Botox along with her pain meds?!

      • Sheepshagger

        It’s Days of y’all’s Lives.

    • Panika MCD

      he treats his uncles the same as his 2nd cousin? that’s going to make for a very interesting family reunion. t-shirts should say, “who hasn’t fucked Joey?”

    • Weevie

      That guy looks sooo inbred, flat head, sunken beady eyes, wow!
      Tennessee, Tennessee, ain’t no place I’d rather be…

    • Mike Steele

      Sex, drugs, politics, religion, cousins…I smell a reality show in the making!

      • magyar of infinite power

        Mamma June’s Jamboree!

  • Sophia

    Anyone else out there who used to read and giggle through the Captain Underpants books with their kids. They are making a movie coming out on June 2. Woo Hoo! Me and the son are going to have to take the granddaughter to see it.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c50d1106a365b28455d58f1e2d1e36e3b6742c60f71177710194d3fdcf863c1c.jpg

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      My kids were just a little too old, I didn’t find out about Capt Underpants until the religious right started trying to ban it.

      • Sophia

        Oh FFS. Captain Underpants?? What a bunch of losers. It’s like they go out of their way to make their sorry little lives miserable.

    • magyar of infinite power

      I’m still waiting on Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing to be made into a movie. Judy Blume was my whole childhood. Then I started reading Jackie Collins and turned gay.

  • Me not sure

    I believe that the last great Jew harvest was in 1943. Those people weren’t converted to Christianity, they were converted to corpses.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It didn’t matter if they converted to Christianity. “Jewishness” was considered to be a racial trait, not a religion.

      • Me not sure

        Exactly so.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Breaking: 14% cut to HUD, for rental assistance, repair, homelessness. They are punishing Blue states. I say we stop sending them taxes and see how the Red states like that.

    • Panika MCD

      umm… they’re also punishing Red states. HUD does a ton of work in the rust belt, TX and FL. there’s even a disaster recovery program at HUD that TX relies on heavily.

      • shaar dula

        but how else will you create a permanent underclass? you can either pay rent, or have healthcare or buy iphone.

        • Panika MCD

          and who rebuilds your house after it was knocked down by a hurricane? the FEMA funding is for your immediate needs (aka disaster response), the HUD funding is to help get your life back in order (aka disaster recovery).

          • shaar dula

            :)

    • Weevie

      Punishing the weak, maybe.

  • Shoto

    Everybody knows that being rich creates a “bountiful Jew harvest.” That’s just JeezuzScience.

  • bookish
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Has anyone else tried the Jew Harvest line of frozen kosher meals? Easy on the budget, and a few minutes in the oven….

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Too soon.

  • sw19bunnies
    • Courser_Resistance

      You know, I have to put that in the ‘happy news’ column because he actually had to pay for his ‘unenlightened’ statements.

      I’m horrified that I would not expect the same in most places in the US. In fact, we’ve heard quite horrifying things from our own lawmakers and they keep getting elected.

      You can’t fix stupid or argue with a crazy person.

      • sw19bunnies

        It’s frustrating that it took so long for him to be brought to book (although Harper Government until late 2015, so no surprise nothing was done at the time). But yeah, better late then never.

        • Also, has a Canadian government committee ever done anything faster than “glacial growth” speed?

          • sw19bunnies

            Same everywhere, for committees of all shapes and sizes.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            I believe there’s still a committee discussing whether we should have more than four provinces.

          • Does that mean we can kick Alberta out?

  • Shoto
  • WomanInThePersistence

    And the White House intern spams me again.

    “President Donald J. Trump continued building momentum this week toward fulfilling one of the most important promises he made to the American people: the repeal and replacement of Obamacare. After seven long years of disaster, President Trump and Republicans in Congress have begun the process of fixing America’s broken healthcare system and giving the power back to the American people.

    Tomorrow morning at 11 a.m., the President will deliver an important message regarding the future of healthcare in America during his Weekly Address to the Nation.”

    Have I mentioned recently how much I loathe the tangerine shitgibbon?

  • Shibusa

    Hey wonketteers. I really liked this essay. BLUEXIT:
    https://newrepublic.com/article/140948/bluexit-blue-states-exit-trump-red-america

    • Pinkham’s Law

      You mean, the plan being pushed by RUSSIANS? Not a fan, myself.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        It’s not a secession idea. It’s how to protect Blue states while maintaining the Union.

      • Shibusa

        Do svidanija red states!

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I’ve seen several Calexit proposals that start much the same, so I jumped to a conclusion without reading to the end. Prompted by HOTBL’s non-comment, I read the whole thing. Some painful truths in it, but his idea of economic secession is, at best, a pretty little fantasy.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh, hey- you beat me to it! Just shared above.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      This ‘is FREAKIN FANTASTIC, and almost no one has seen it bc you posted at the start of the window. If you’re online, please repost this — and if you’re not, I might (and yooge apologies if I’m overstepping, but this needs to be seen). Cheers.

      • Shibusa

        Post away!

  • Nounverb911

    This putznik should just rapture herself and get it over with.

  • Picabo

    When I see ignorance and stupidity, I always look to Neil DeGrasse Tyson for inspiration.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytaf30wuLbQ

    • Mike Steele

      Lady MS here – Can’t thank you enough for some soul-freeing good sense from Neil:)

    • sw19bunnies

      PLUTO LIBELS!!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger

    We tolerate no one in our ranks who attacks the ideas of Christianity… in fact our movement is Christian. We are filled with a desire for Catholics and Protestants to discover one another in the deep distress of our own people.

    — Adolf Hitler, speech in Passau, October 27, 1928, Bundesarchiv Berlin-Zehlendorf

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6fa6644be5e9ace802b5b2284e28fe8acd0190b31764378c09856224d6df8b4d.png

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      The only one he might not have broken is the sixth – but he’s bragged that he could have broken it without damaging his popularity, so…

      • DainBramage

        Well, he said that he could kill someone right out in the open. He didn’t say anything about killing people stealthily.

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          He might well have hired it done, which would count, of course.

  • Nounverb911
  • Treg Brown
    • suziq

      Were they actually going for irony there?

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        On Fox?

    • DainBramage

      Bill O’Reilly. A master of projection with no reflection.

    • shaar dula

      a left facing arrow is needed.

    • TJ Barke

      Self awareness is hard impossible.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Bill’O is so lacking in self-awareness he can’t figure out who that guy who stares back at him when he’s shaving and brushing his teeth is.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Physician, heal thyself.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Urban Dictionary: “Christianity”
    The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
    Also it is a pyramid scheme based on a philosophy that was fairly progressive 2000 years ago. It has been rendered obsolete by modern scientific understanding largely due to its inability to resolve its inconsistencies through intelligently-applied critical thinking. It now serves as a means of deterring social and political advancement and as a tax on the gullible.

    Yeah, Christianity makes sense.

    • ViveLaPersistence

      This is Fake Christianity. It’s real right-wing conservatism, but fake Christianity.

    • h4rr4r

      Symbolically?
      Protestant like typing detected!

  • Nounverb911

    Some robots really don’t work that well…
    https://twitter.com/motherboard/status/839902355923484672

    • Sophia

      The kid wasn’t paying attention. The bottle had a duck on it. Kid should have ducked.

  • shaar dula

    so how is this any of what this lady is saying related to divinity or spirituality?

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Their true God is Mammon.

    • OrG

      Not related in any way.

    • ViveLaPersistence

      As a liberal Christian, I take comfort from II Peter 2:1 – But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction.I also enjoy the part where Jesus kicks the money-changers asses.

      • OrG

        Kick-ass Jesus is the BEST Jesus.

      • shivaskeeper

        They turn the same verse against you and claim you are the false prophets.

        • ViveLaPersistence

          Yes, that’s a big problem with “religion.” With all the mutually-exclusive interpretations, someone will turn out to be wrong.

          • shivaskeeper

            Well of course. But it’s always you and yours who is wrong. My sect has it right and all you others are wrong.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The blessings of Marduk be upon you…and we’ll be happy to look after the grain stores.”
      — The Sumerian inventors of divinity and spirituality

  • tapp_my_wire,please
    • SnarkON

      Tie tapp.

  • The Librarian

    There isn’t enough gelt in the universe that would make this atheist Joo convert to any kind of fundie religion. I’ve got my pride, my sanity, but more importantly enough money for a nice pipeful in the evenings, which is about as religious as I get. By that, I mean I smoke religiously…… :)

  • bookish

    The language of Trump and Bannon.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/the-political-lexicon-of-a-billionaire-populist/2017/03/09/4d4c2686-ff86-11e6-8f41-ea6ed597e4ca_story.html?utm_term=.20967477fe86

    “The populist rhetoric is so systemic, it’s hard to believe it’s not a deliberate effort to change the language of politics,” said Rep. Tom Cole (R-Okla.), who taught history at the University of Oklahoma before entering politics. “This is obviously very populist language — the idea that there’s finally somebody here to protect you from these international and corporate forces that are making you feel lost.”

    The purpose of the new rhetoric is to break through the partisan paralysis of recent years, pull the country into an America-first nationalism and persuade Trump supporters that the new president meant it when he announced at his inauguration that “the hour of action” has commenced.

    The language of the Trump administration rubs many politicians — Republicans and Democrats alike — the wrong way, just as it is intended to.

    “I don’t like the name-calling,” former president George W. Bush said last month. “Nobody likes that.”

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Definition of the Trump-GOP Government: When government officials are so paralyzed by their personal conflicts of interest they cannot possibly do their job of protecting the American people and our resources.
    https://twitter.com/cahulaan/status/840000431547850753

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but Hillary was corrupt, I think she was part owner in a Pizza brothel or something?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Sounds cheesy to me.

        • Crank Tango

          Don’t take it personal and pan my comment!

      • therblig

        Fuckie Cheese?

  • suziq

    Everybody knows ladies can’t be pastors. What is she trying to pull here? Also too, being a Jew was good enough for Jesus. Just saying maybe don’t be such assholes to other people that don’t believe exactly the same as you.

    • shaar dula

      there was a guy who once observed, neither buddha, jesus or mohammad or any other godman in history became who they were by doing anything their followers are asked to do.

  • Nounverb911

    Is there any rule that says the Jews HAVE to let the Xtians rapture?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Why wouldn’t the Jews want them to? I certainly do.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The fun thing about the rapture is that for 1800 years it didn’t exist, then some loony Americans invented all this insane Revelations-based nonsense and now it has major influence over fundigelical “Christianity”.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        When the makeup of the Bible was being discussed, The Revelation of Saint John was almost left out because it was so bizarre. One wonders what the world would have been like without it. Saner, at the very least.

  • Treg Brown
    • TJ Barke

      Republicans; tramps and thieves.

      • h4rr4r

        Tramps and thieves libels!

    • sw19bunnies

      -3 for emojis, but +1 for tweeting in a form that Trumpettes can understand.
      8/10

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Soviet judge awards bonus point for being fabulous.

        • sw19bunnies

          Good point well made.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • SnarkON

      I don’t speak Cher. No idea WTF she is trying to say.

      • OrG

        Rethugs are stealing from the poor to give to the rich.

      • Chyron HR

        Do you believe in life after Obamacare?
        I can feel something inside me say
        I really don’t think Trump’s good enough

      • Weevie

        she has lots and lots of money.
        people with zilch money need help, not people like her.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Cher’s a boss bitch. Period.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    Paging Darryl Issa, found your new attorney.

    https://twitter.com/DVNJr/status/839683651885543424

    • DainBramage
    • ViveLaPersistence

      Florida man! Yay, we’re back on top.

    • Sheepshagger

      Shoulda worn the asbestos.

    • The Librarian

      I read this story. Attorney was fiddling with an electronic cigarette in his pocket…….hmmmm…..

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It saved time…cancer takes so long to arrive.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      What are these “pants” of which you speak?

      • Jamoche

        Some kind of lie detector, I think.

      • snark-lurker

        Apparently some kind of e-cig holster.

    • OrG

      C’mon Texas,you’re not gonna take this shit lying down are you?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    The best case for getting rid of the federal income tax that I’ve ever read. (Seriously, this is great. Read it.)

    https://newrepublic.com/article/140948/bluexit-blue-states-exit-trump-red-america

    • sw19bunnies

      It’s a great concept/earworm to drive the point home to some of the dumber red-staters, for sure.

    • aktlib101

      Quite good, here is a succinct analysis of “republican-lite” Democratic party:
      “The Clintonist project of taking the oldest and most diverse political coalition on earth—one organized around liberal economic principles that had held it together for generations—and re-centering it around conservative economic ideas and a hodgepodge of social ideas that nobody could agree on, was probably the worst political move since the Republicans tried to pretend in 1932 that the Great Depression was already over. (WASN’T THE DEPRESSION TERRIBLE? read their billboards lining the rail tracks between New York City and Washington, D.C.) It seems clear now that only the personal integrity, wit, eloquence, and thoroughly lovable family of Barack Obama kept the Democratic Party stumbling along, gut-shot, for this long.”

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Ouch.

    • The Librarian

      I loved this! Funny, sad, very smart.

    • Weevie

      Very good! Succinct voice of what many of us feel but can’t quite get our arms around.

      I’ll re-read this if the urge comes along to give these destructors a break!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s a bit harsh. Democrats aren’t divided up into red states and blue states. The country isn’t just blue and red- there are large swathes of purple. Look at all the women who turned out in red state cities on Jan 21.

    • h4rr4r

      Putin thanks you for your service.

      That stupid idea is a Russkie plan.

    • Weevie

      Leaves out lots of details such as the fact that no one votes, our biggest problem, but lays out well what the progressives and regressives feel. Good allegorical use of succession or splitting.

  • SnarkON

    It’s settled: For my next career I am going to be a prophetess.

    • veska

      Yeah, I’m really in the wrong business.

    • Panika MCD

      me also too: I’ve already got a Cassandra complex.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I don’t think I believe you.

        • Panika MCD

          depending on what you’re referring to, that could be very bad for you.

    • snark-lurker

      Can i tag along, for the tips?

    • DainBramage

      It’s so easy to con RWNJs. All you need is a complete lack of morals and ethics.

      • OrG

        That’s the rub.

    • Reximus

      I believe its spelled Profitess

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Guidance counselors leave out so many options.

    • Yr. Gma

      It pays well. The SDA church founded by prophetess Ellen G. White is currently worth several billion dollars.

  • bookish

    https://www.justsecurity.org/38632/supplement-nicholas-kristofs-ten-dots-connecting-trump-russia/
    Nicholas Kristof has a valuable column this morning, “Connecting Trump’s Dots to Russia,” in which he lists ten “crucial” pieces of information that may indicate that Trump’s inner circle colluded in some way with Moscow’s interference in the US election. I agree with most of what Kristof writes, with some significant exceptions. I also agree with his bottom line to resolve this morass: “What is desperately needed is an independent inquiry modeled on the 9/11 Commission.” (See Andy Wright’s work for some of the finest analysis of that point.) Because I take Kristof’s call for a sober, level-headed analysis to heart, I want to assess carefully some issues on both sides of the ledger.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/09/opinion/connecting-trumps-dots-to-russia.html?smid=tw-share

  • Ilgattomorte

    I don’t know about this whole Jew harvest thing. My grandparents had a farm and one season we tried raising Jews. It did not go well. They require a tremendous amount of care.

    Once they start to sprout you have to call them, you have to visit them and, strangely, you have to let THEM feed YOU. If you you fail to do this continually, they give all indication that they are growing okay, but actually they sit alone in the dark and refuse to be harvested at all.

    All I can say is if you if you are going to try harvesting Jews, be aware they require a lot of care and attention.

  • Nounverb911
  • Panika MCD

    POLL: toddler files

    over on the other thread I suggested that being a toddler could be a pre-existing condition because: toddlers. I also too mentioned that we all stuck something up our noses that our parents couldn’t get out. mine was a red M&M. what was yours?

    (if you can’t remember, just give me the stupid thing you did that your parents thought was a medical emergency.)

    • Suse

      My sister ate a thermometer and I drank cleaning fluid.

      • Panika MCD

        cleaning fluid? what possessed you to do that?

        • Sheepshagger

          Kid had a dirty mouth, ok?

          • Panika MCD

            usually it’s the abusive parents who do that one. besides, kid still has a dirty mouth.

        • Suse

          I was 3 – give me a break. It was in a can under the sink. My mom couldn’t get the lid off, but I managed it somehow.

      • snark-lurker

        So that is how you explain yourself.

        • Suse

          Pretty much.

          • snark-lurker

            well i licked a dusty hubcap…moar than once

          • Panika MCD

            I licked more than one metal bar during Alaskan winters.

          • snark-lurker

            more than one! sloe lerner, huh?

          • Panika MCD

            that’s how my mom put it. one wasn’t really by choice nor was it a pole. there was a kid trying to dump me off the tire swing (the ones that were horizontal and held up by 3 chains that you were just supposed to spin in) and I was screaming my head off. ended up with my tongue stuck to the chain.

          • snark-lurker

            Ha! Likely story.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s what she said.

          • Panika MCD

            and it sounds like you licked halo shaped objects and stuck feathers in your butt now, lil’ angel.

          • snark-lurker

            never said i was a angel

          • Panika MCD

            “i wuz a little angle all teh times” was you.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        My little sister used to drink the water out of the turtles bowl. Salmonella shalmonella,

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        The way you phrase this suggests a causative link.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      We didn’t do fake medical emergencies. There was the time I scalded my foot so badly the skin started to slough off. And the time I broke my arm at school. Or, the occassion when i slipped on the ice, hit the back of my head and bled through the hood of my winter coat before going inside. I think that was 6 stitches. Might have been 8. My first grade year was an interesting one for my parents.

      • Panika MCD

        you were one of the ones who ate potting soil, weren’t you? it sounds like your parents were just experienced. to be honest, my mom was like, “so you now know not to stick things in your nose. it’ll dissolve. quit cryin’.”

        • Pinkham’s Law

          LOL. Pretty much! Also too: there were only two of us, but I was the youngest.

          • Panika MCD

            Alien Brother Gollum ate potting soil also too.

    • Bitter Scribe

      A former colleague of mine had to take action when her 4-year-old stuck a bean up her nose. This was considerably complicated by the fact that they live on a houseboat on the Caribbean. That bean ended up costing $3,000.

      (I highly recommend Megan’s blog. She’s a quality human being and a fantastic writer.)

      • Panika MCD

        a) my mom just let mine dissolve. pretty sure the same could have applied depending on whether or not the bean was cooked before it ended up there.

        b) this is about us being stupid as toddlers: give us the goods.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ask Megan if she has room on that houseboat for a rapidly aging old dyke who can’t take much more of living in Trumputin’s America.

        • snark-lurker

          iz everybuddy here…odd?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            You’re just now noticing this???????

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            By whose standards?

        • Bitter Scribe

          Do you cook?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            No, my main skills are remodeling houses, general snarking, and witty repartee. I was kind of hoping they’d cook for me. :-)

          • Bitter Scribe

            Maybe you can help by emptying the food from boxes into plastic bags before putting to sea.

            (No lie. Apparently they can’t have a scrap of cardboard on board because it’s a bug magnet. This means they have to not only carefully label everything but record the cooking instructions on the cartons. It’s one of her earliest blog entries.)

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I think I could handle that!

    • snark-lurker

      i wuz a little angle all teh times

      • Panika MCD

        so you ate feathers and shoved a halo up your butt?

        • snark-lurker

          feathers? so thats whut those were

    • shaar dula

      i dropped a slab of rough cut granite on my sister’s ankle while playing. a few years later broke her knee in a bicycle accident, pushed a friend of mine on to a barbed wire fence, i fell on a thorny bush while playing with thorns all over my body. while i removed most of them, there was one in my foot that i did not know was there until i had swelling and infection. had to be surgically removed. i was thrown over steps by a friend resulting in ear and temple bleeding, fell from tree and broke arm, was hit by cork ball on the chest resulting in being knocked unconscious. near daily injuries on the chins from field hockey. this was all before high school. the scope & cause of injuries changed after that.

      • Oh, you know Shaar? Sorry we do not cover Shaar friendship

        • shaar dula

          i also got a lot back. :D

      • snark-lurker

        if you ever plan on being iowa, WARN ME! PUUUUEEEZ!

    • therblig

      i ate most of a bottle of st. joseph’s childrens aspirin. orange and tasty. got to ride in the front seat of a police car on my way to get my stomach pumped.

    • I am sure they will make the case that being a kid is a pre-existing condition. Or, their activities. Oh they play football? Sorry we do not cover footballing injuries. What, fell down a stair? Sorry, we do not cover clumsy.
      Also, not nose, but I did near choke to death on a marble resulting in not being allowed to touch one until age 12.

      • Panika MCD

        I need a t-shirt that says “Sorry, we do not cover clumsy.”

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          If OHIP didn’t I’d’ve been dead decades ago.

      • snark-lurker

        rookie mistake

        • Panika MCD

          what toddler isn’t a rookie?

          • snark-lurker

            race yuh to the top of the thread

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Pulled one of those heavy turntable cabinets on my foot when I was about 3. No lasting damage, but screamed like hell when I had to get X-rays. I remember some mean nurse saying If You keep yelling we’ll take your dad out of the room” so they did and I screamed louder.

  • Paperless Tiger

    I agree. There’s not much point in making them jealous of our foreskins. That’s a done deal.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Jacobs is both a pastor and a prophetess, who wisely discerned that the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell caused dead birds to fall out of the sky and on to Arkansas.

    Those birds really don’t like Arkansas.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Stevie King (no relation to Nicks) on MSNBC extolling virtues of instilling conservative values in healthcare bill. You will only allowed 1 Advil per 24 hours.

  • bookish
  • Sheepshagger
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      OK Donny, here’s your new reality show.

      You’re gonna knock ’em dead!

      • Sheepshagger

        “When you’re wounded and dying on Afghanistans plains
        And the women come out to cut up your remains
        Just roll on your rifle and blow out your brains
        And got to your god like a soldier. “.

        A scrimmage in a Border Station-
        A canter down some dark defile
        Two thousand pounds of education
        Drops to a ten-rupee jezail.
        The Crammer’s boast, the Squadron’s pride,
        Shot like a rabbit in a ride!

        Some thoughts on Afghanistan from annoyed conservative.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh. Great.

      What exactly is our strategy? To fill up 10 new VA hospitals with double amputees?

    • h4rr4r

      A classic blunder….land war in Asia

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      What’s next, another invasion of Iraq? I mean, if you’re going to revisit stupid military actions…

  • Nounverb911

    Huckleberry needs for Ben Carson to give his lobotomy a tune up….

    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/840003638810542080

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      A diet consisting of fried squirrel has its downsides.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Again, this whole administration reminds me of Bioshock Infinite, this time a quote form one of the audio diaries; ” Comstock came by the wagon at dawn. Man was just…he just transfixed by my trophy scalps. Asked about the white ones, there. I said, “Well, sir — if your quarry dwells in the jungle, and beds down with the local color, why split hairs?” *Laughs* Not a chuckle out of him. Either he ain’t seen a man go native, or maybe…maybe too many. Anyhow, now he’s got me huntin’ down this “Daisy Fitzroy.” Hope he don’t expect me to stuff and mount her. *Laughs*”

    • bookish

      Shut up Huckabee.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        With some votes, right in the old kisser.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      WTF. Trump has already decided that he is above all other humans. He doesn’t need any help from “the government”

    • uhm. So he just basically deified Trump?

    • Lord Jim

      Wut

      Da

      Fuh?

    • Yr. Gma

      Is that supposed to make sense?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It does if you have the Jeebus mind-rot disease.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Squirrel poisoning is really nasty shit.

    • Sophia

      Huh??

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The fuck does he mean by “go native”? And what is the palace guard? The CIA? The so-called mainstream media?
      Go perform an exorcism on your buddy trump, you chucklefuck. Begone demon!
      Fuck’s sake.

  • Do these prosperity gospel fuckheads EVER READ THE FUCKING BIBLE?
    AT ALL????

    • Readin’ is hard

      • I mean, even in the new versions, it is right there! Give your shit away, help the poor, live as the poor, forget your worldly goods because they mean nothing and divide your loyalty from God.
        IT IS ALL RIGHT THERE.
        Worst part is I can’t even take comfort that at least I am a better Christian because part of being a better Christian is to not tell people you are better at it than they are.

        • First example of why i can never be Xtian.

          • It’s fucking hard sometimes.

          • I love nearly nothing more than pronoucing my self a better person than conservatives

          • I wonder sometimes if I do not consider myself better-er deep down for reals and then I go not better-er, perzactly, but quite possibly a bit more compassionate and less self involved and maaaayyyybeeee a bit more willing to work for the greater good.
            If that makes me a better person……so be it

          • It does. You’re even honourary Canuck material!

          • I am now scrubbing all my socialist media of references to stalking prime ministers. Just in case.

          • Scrub Hard!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas
          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I don’t consider myself religious AT ALL, but I know I’m a far better Christian than anyone who identifies as a Republican.

          • I will admit that I do find the folks here-even the ones I disagree with- a lot more in line with the concepts put forth by the JC than, say, any Republican.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            I grew up in a Catholic household, but I came along after my folks split with the church (something to do with a bad experience my brother had, nuff said) and had a bible handed to me just the same as any other book (encyclopedias, Dr. Seuss, Spanish dictionary, etc.). I always liked JC, and still dig what he was getting at. Good guy. I have been a good person to best of my ability my whole life, and I believed in Santa longer than I believed in any god.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            For YEARS I thought that I knew more about the Bible than most of the “Christians” I know. There was a study done a few years back that showed atheists and agnostics knew more about what was in the Bible than self proclaimed “Christians” did. I felt so vindicated.

          • Yr. Gma

            Being Christian is evil Being Christlike is a worthy goal.

        • Panika MCD

          that’s not what it looks like in the illustrated one.

          https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/128/414998399_4b1b06b1b8_b.jpg

          • Sophia

            Shit, I don’t remember my crayola box having those colours. Somebody must have stole the good ones.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Dude, I was just looking at that! I’m a little baked and was all WTF. I think I have a shirt in Omnipotent Yellow. It’s basically a screaming yellow polypro that I wear for SAR and disaster exercises. It’s hideous on me.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          There’s got to be loophole somewhere! Christian HARDER!!!!

    • Panika MCD

      no. they eat one and then sleep with another under their pillow. on Saturdays, they bathe in them. it’s called “ozzymoses”.

      • h4rr4r

        That was a really great album.

    • Jamoche

      No. They pick a word, go to the concordance (it’s an old-school version of a keyword search) and then pick whichever verse fits the idea they’ve already got.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      No. The Bibble is not comfortable reading for most Americans. Even in the Old Testament there’s all these passages about caring for the widow, the orphan, and the stranger.

      • Panika MCD

        there’s also passages saying that you care for your brother’s widow by marrying her.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I am not ghay marrying either of my brothers wives, should that happe. Magic 8 ball says no.

        • Courser_Resistance

          I heard just the other day that a guy somewhere America did marry his brother’s widow, though they’re saying it was Instant Karma or some bullshit. I’d look real hard at her dead husband’s corpse.

          • Panika MCD

            KARMA IS NOT XTIAN!!!!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Eeeewww! Gross!!!! Fucking orphans are too lazy to even have parents! Loosers!!1!11!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No.

      SASQ.

  • Suse
  • Nounverb911

    SMOTI Hoft is at it again, he finally found Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate, yeah right.
    https://twitter.com/gatewaypundit/status/839986837011746819

    • Breaking: Tweets allege Jim Hoft fucks goats

    • Michael R

      Yuck I looked at the site , people who know nothing and comment excessively .

      • therblig

        they’ll go to their graves believing that if they can just prove Obama was born in Kenya, everything he ever did will be reversed. the sooner they go, the better.

      • puredog

        It makes me feel smug to contrast that to a site where commenting is not allowed.

    • Isaac Heston

      Digging up a dead horse and fucking it’s head is the best way to ensure its still alive.

    • Shibusa

      Roger Clinton. Billy Carter. Donald Nixon. Neil Bush. Sam Houston Johnson. Every family has a doofus somewhere in the gene pool.

      • Nounverb911

        And Donnie trump only has himself….

        • Sophia

          We ended up with the doofus

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Don’t discount Uhday!!

    • Yr. Gma

      So if the Hawaii birth certificate is a fake, why isn’t the Kenyan one a fake, too?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        He never was born! That essplains everything!

    • h4rr4r

      They do know he is no longer president, right?

      He could admit it on national TV and it would change nothing.

  • Michael R

    I’m fascinated by this :

    In an interview with Indiewire, Bob-Waksberg said that he didn’t think he could continue making the same BoJack Horseman in light of recent events. Instead of harping on the “small hypocrisies of rich liberals,” he wanted to shed a serious light on how the country was coping with the election of Donald Trump

    http://www.polygon.com/2016/12/28/14098716/bojack-horseman-trump-season-4

    • Gee.
      Maybe if the purity ponies were not so concerned with the small hypocrisies to begin with and instead focused on progress moving forward instead of being MORE PURIER and Imma burn it down if I do not get what I want until we drug the country kicking and screaming into the 21st century and THEN went holier than thou….he would not have to worry so much on how the country is coping.

      Not bitter. swear.

      • Michael R

        I’m going to assume you haven’t seen this show .

  • going4baroque

    re:
    We have seldom featured her on the august pages of Wonkette
    It’s just March, Evan! Whoever is in charge of your daily calendar is messing with you

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      And I missed the Miss February centerfold?

    • Isaac Heston

      You got that right. The last six weeks have felt like a lifetime.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I feel like I’ve aged five years in the past few weeks.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Now for something completely different:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yusGUGTVAyw

  • bookish
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From Charles Pierce:
    I had thought that the burlesque comic opera The Agony of Paul Ryan, Genius had closed on the night in 2012 when Joe Biden laughed the zombie-eyed granny starver off the stage during their debate. (That was the night that Ryan demonstrated that he knew it snowed in Afghanistan in the winter.) But I had not reckoned with his many fanboys among the kept political press. He ascended to become Speaker of the House, largely because nobody else wanted the job after John Boehner got kicked to the curb by the crazy people.

    Now he is out there pimping the dungheap that is the new healthcare reform bill as though Mitch and Murray from downtown were lighting his pants on fire. He even lost the suit coat and broke out the PowerPoint on Thursday. It was like watching something on cable access late at night, or a flop-sweaty rookie substitute teacher, and it was hilarious—except for the parts where people will lose their health insurance and die, of course. And this is what he said and, peace be unto Dave Barry, I am not making it up, either:

    Paul Ryan said that insurance cannot work if healthy people have to pay more to subsidize the sick.

    This is literally how all insurance works. If someone’s house burns down, some of your fire insurance money goes to help that person rebuild. If someone gets sick, some of your premium, healthy person, goes toward that person’s coverage. Increasingly, I have come to believe that Paul Ryan is a not particularly bright creature from another world. Let us see if we can explain this to the lad.Let’s say that, in 1986, a 16-year-old lad loses his father to a sudden heart attack. Despite the fact that the family’s construction firm is relatively prosperous due to its generous share of government contracts, the family’s finances are considerably straitened. For the next two years, the young man and his mother receive Social Security survivor’s benefits. Of course, these came from millions of people who had Social Security withheld from their paychecks and whose fathers did not die young due to a sudden heart attack. One of them was, say, a 32-year-old sportswriter for the Boston Herald, who had Social Security withheld from what he was paid to watch the Red Sox blow the ’86 World Series, and whose father was still alive, but slipping fast into Alzheimer’s. Some of his money went to make sure Paul Ryan could complete high school and go on the college and get the BA in economics that made him the smartest man in the world.

    Got it now?

    Also, you’re welcome, rube.”

    I literally just posted something on another thread an hour ago about how I KNEW when I was younger and paying my health insurance premiums that the money was going to people who were old and sick, and I did NOT resent it one bit, since some day I’d be old and/or sick. Paul Ryan LITERALLY has no idea how insurance works. Jesus Fucking Christ, I’m really beginning to think I’m on crazy pills.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You know nothing, Paul Ryan.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I want to smash my head on a desk, but the desk wouldn’t care, my head would hurt, and fucking Paul Ryan would still exist.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m with you! I’m a relatively healthy person who uses only a few of my healthcare benefits. I get the annual preventative battery and that’s pretty much it. OF COURSE I’m paying for those who have more serious medical issues to manage. I’m fucking thankful that I don’t have those issues and they are welcome to what I don’t use. ‘Cuz yes, I had TWO hip replacements in consecutive years – I drew out more than I put in those years. The point is that it evens out.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Exactly. I would go years without seeing an MD. Now I have to visit once a month

        • Courser_Resistance

          You know what’s interesting? I had to go to the doc WAY more often when I had Medicaid. I could sometimes go two months but yeah, once a month most of the time. Basically because of the way they have to prescribe drugs. They can’t give you 12 months of refills, I had to be ‘re-evaluated’ every 30 – 60 days. While it didn’t cost me much, it was a total pain in the ass.

      • cmd resistor

        Plus the preventative stuff prevents shit.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I think most sane people realize that this is the way insurance works.

        I loved that Charles Pierce threw in that little zing about how Charles Pierce had paid taxes so that Paul Ryan and his mother could live off of SS benefits while Paul Ryan was in college.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      “Paul Ryan said that insurance cannot work if healthy people have to pay more to subsidize the sick.”

      And yet, that’s exactly how it has always worked. When I was part of an employer plan, my premiums had nothing to do with my actual health — costs were avergaed out across the employee pool.

      And my car insurance: I have KNOCK WOOD had only 1 fender bender in th past 20 years (and no claims against my co.) — but I don’t get to pay ZERO for my insurance. Yes, my premiums are lower because of my record but they ain’t zero. And as another Wonker noted in another thread (apologies that I can’t remember + give credit), every car-owner has to buy insurance, period the end. That’s what makes the system work, duh, spreading risk/cost acoss a big pool.

      WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. WRONG. WITH. RYAN. AND. THOSE. WHO. VOTED. FOR. HIM.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The problem is that they don’t understand how anything works. Paul Ryan and his mother were perfectly willing to accept “moocher bucks” when his father died, yet anyone else who accepts any form of help is a terrible drain on society. Grrrr…these people piss me off.

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    My birthday present to myself today was not looking at the news. It was a good choice. No one tell me anything crazy that happened today. Just cute animals. Thank you.

  • Inner Venom
  • bookish

    Will these be open hearings?

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-judges-idUSKBN16H030

    The Department of Justice is deploying 50 judges to immigration detention facilities across the United States, according to two sources and a letter seen by Reuters and sent to judges on Thursday.

  • Nick Scroggs

    SO I’m wondering, how long before a third World War breaks out? Anyone wanna bet? Also, I was reading a chronology on World War One earlier, apparently back at the start, some French extreme right-wingers made a whole campaign against a grocery chain called Maggi, because they felt it was “German sounding” and were convinced that billboards and posters for their bouillon cubes were secretly coded signs for invading German troops. It worked, the government actually got rid of the posters near like railway stations and what not. What’s even weirder is that Maggi was Swiss-based.

    • Courser_Resistance

      And Maggi bullion still exists!! I see it at Hellmart.

      • sw19bunnies

        Now part of Nestle Megacorp Inc

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Which they presented to the babby Jeebus to spice up His formula.

      • cmd resistor

        Also, too, I remember it from my year abroad in Switz to study French.

    • Year and a half.
      But no nukes because that would ruin the oils and the monies.

    • OrG

      Swiss,German,Same thing.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Well not to the French, Italian and/or Romansh speaking Swiss.

        • OrG

          My sarcasm was too subtle.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Nobody ever called me good at nuance.

    • TJ Barke

      Dunno, but the axis of evil will be America and Russia this time.

    • Panika MCD

      they’re planning to ramp up things in Afghanistan. at this point, we may as well start calling everything since 2001 WWIII.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I sincerely hope that the breakout of WW1 remains the low point of human history. Because the breakout of WW3 will only be communicated by oral history from the few survivors. Don’t read “Canticle for Liebowitz”.

      • snark-lurker

        Canticle for Liebowitz — have not read (nor even seen) that in many moons.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I re-read it not too long ago. I love the first two-thirds, and think it is quite an impressive book, really. Not my theology, but fully thought out. And actually very funny and moving.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Too late.

    • Shibusa

      I shudder to think that international peace is in the hands of Putin & Trump.

  • Nounverb911
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      If it leaked it must be trooth!

      SMDH & RMDE

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        An infected and impacted trooth, yes.

    • hmmmm to what purpose, PamPam? Maybe to get into the circles and get the goods?
      Because SPIES.
      Jesus. zomg the CIA can hax r phones!!!! erm. Spies.
      But but but they can see what u r doing on tweeters and find out which bots R russkies!!!!! erm again. SPIES.
      GAAAH THEY dressed like russian pee hookers and hacked into the russian hackers? What fucking part of spies do you not get?

      • shivaskeeper

        Most likely the spies part.

        • It is almost as if people have no idea what a spy is. Which is weird because of all the spy shit out there.
          They spy on people. Surprise!
          Don’t much care for it myself, but it really should not be a shock to anyone.

          • 2nd reply: Also, remember when it was treason to out what the spies were doing to KEEP US SAFE ™?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Is Pammycakes still a thing?

      • Someone ought to ask her if we can trust her unnamed sources since Trump said you cannot trust unnamed sources

    • Panika MCD

      the CIA that no one respects more than Tsarina Tic Tacs?

    • Shibusa

      Her twitter stream is like explosive and runny electronic diarrhea.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      I don’t want to ask what it leaked out of.

  • Left Coast Tom

    I spent the first half of February in New Zealand trying to avoid Trump
    nonsense. People asked where I was from, I always answered that I was
    Californian, not American. As I expected this worked in avoiding being asked about Trump; sadly, it led to my being asked about CalExit. Sadness.

    At least I enjoyed beautiful scenery:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6caf125b1af83094edecd9f4ee51e21a1bbb928b24854a69470cd297879411ed.jpg

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      South Island, eh? Did you stay in any of the huts? I loved my time there 20 years ago. Paradise.

      And then there are the Orcs.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Yes, that was the Travers-Sabine Circuit, near Upper Travers hut. I also hiked part of Abel Tasman coast track, and Cobb Valley. I also stayed (among others) at Angelus hut, though the weather was somewhat different:
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a60647278055b8e867afce07b794477a08c0791fab6721a8578a01751706e863.jpg

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I did the Tasman coast track as well. And the wineries around Nelson. Many wineries.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I brought back 7 bottles from Marlborough’s wineries. Really loved Giesen and Gibson Bridge.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            NZ white wines are Best Wines.

          • Left Coast Tom

            From Giesen I bought two single vineyard Pinot Noirs, not the one they won an award for, I preferred another vineyard. Gibson Bridge specialized in Pinot Gris – they did one in a rose style which is unusual, but was quite well done (they did it as a real rose wine, not a “strawberry/watermelon wine cooler” “style”).

        • snark-lurker

          You call that a “hut”? Come on you guys!…

    • shaar dula

      did you take that picture? beautiful it is.

    • Shibusa

      I spent a month there, 25 years ago. Gorgeous place. Awesome people. I was ready to drop my life in the US and move to NZ after that trip. Now it’s a pricey haven for American doomsday preppers. PS Did you get to see the Moeraki Boulders?

      • Left Coast Tom

        I was in the northern part of the South Island this trip, two years ago I was in the southern end, hiked the Routeburn, Kepler, and Milford tracks, and visited Moeraki (after wine tasting in Central Otago).

    • Sheepshagger

      That’s nothing, check out this nz vista. I was just there today. Beautiful. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c0f00b0d656b3b113cce18a43ba968b9e7cd9b48288c749e4744e7e3baa1cba.jpg

      • sw19bunnies

        Is that liberal-mooching-immigrant-hellhole or proud-white-collar-salt-of-the-earth heartland? It’s hard to tell without subtitles. :P

        • Sheepshagger

          That’s Huntly bro.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I take it DOC doesn’t charge you to stay in this hut?

          • Sheepshagger

            You can stay with my sister in law. Gotta watch her tho, mean left when she’s drinking.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Um, that looks like a factory of some kind.

    • snark-lurker

      Sure, Ruuub it in,

  • Ok so, this may or may not be a lil blurb from a thing about security and how to spot an insider threat who will betray everyone and be all traitor traitory. Quick, who does this sound like?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b20dac085bf5d0f800003e337c54b05968fec5a2117eeb157253aa90a4aa580.png

    • Doug Langley

      So . . . this means that about 300 million Americans are now vulnerable to exploitation?

      • I was just thinking one particular orange-American.
        It is like…a bio or something.

        • Doug Langley

          I was picking up the “stressful situations” bit.

        • SayItWithOtters

          LOL. “Unexplained affluence.”

  • Juan de Fuca

    This lady seems batshit crazy but she’s nowhere near as funny as Wonkette’s other favorite snake-handler, Opal Covey, AKA, “A-wimoweh, A-wimoweh and a ‘Kumbaya'” lady.

    https://wonkette.com/594898/crazy-tongue-speaking-prophet-lady-running-for-mayor-of-our-hearts

  • BosGrl

    If Medicaid is cut, how many seniors will get booted from their nursing homes?

    • So very many.

    • Panika MCD

      AOT, K.

      • Except for the rich ones.
        Oh wait…rich ones don’t live in homes. They are put away in luxury condos with private doctors.

        • Panika MCD

          ahem: they’re called “retirement communities” and they’re all in Florida.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Put ’em back to work until they collapse on the assembly lines! That, or probably grind them into a fine powder for the GOP to snort in between sessions of congress.

    • OrG

      Only the lazy moochers./s

      • Nick Scroggs

        “You don’t need that dialysis machine, Grandma, you’re 97! Get back to work!”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Or someone like me- I have no income but I own a house, meaning I would not be eligible for Medicaid. By the time I’m 65 (4 years) they’ll have gutted Medicare. My future is now basically that I will probably lose my home in the long run if this goes through.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I sincerely think it won’t go through. And *hugs*

  • Nounverb911
  • Shibusa
    • Suse

      Anal anxiety is a real thing!

    • ya know I should not laugh because punching down and all but….he looks so mellow

      • Suse

        His anus sure is totally mellow.

        • snark-lurker

          thought at first i saw “mallow”

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Don’t marsh that man’s mallow!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Say WUT?

    • OrG

      Whoa,slow down Florida,let Texas catch up.

    • aureolaborealis

      Shouldn’t a guy be a little more smiley if he had 54 antidepressants up his ass?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      From the look on that guy’s face it must have been working, although perhaps not as intended.

      Dammit, people! Xanax is not a laxative!

    • Doug Langley

      Many years back, a video group of which I was a member had a contest for a 5 minute video. Theme was “Inside Out”. The winning entry listed all the different things hospitals found inside people. YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Glad they got to the bottom of this breaking story.

    • shaar dula

      he’s a stickler, one may even call him anal retentive.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Shouldn’t that be “rectum” or “descending colon?” How much can you actually fit in an anus?

  • sw19bunnies

    Kellie The Kanadian Konservative getting a little Trumpier with each passing day:
    https://twitter.com/KellieLeitch/status/839977393863491585

    • Suse

      She seems nice! Meanwhile, JT just pledged $650 million over the next three years for women’s reproductive health services and sexual education around the world.

      • sw19bunnies

        What a loser!

        • Suse

          Yeah!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Misspelled hoser.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Why can’t Justin Trudeau just be president of the world?

        • Suse

          Forever and ever, amen.

          • sw19bunnies

            Only if he picks up his dropped promise on proportional representation first!

        • BosGrl

          Only if Obama can be Prime Minister. They can switch off, like Putin does.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            EXCELLENT idea!!!!!

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Not till we’re finished with him, you greedyguts!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            We need nice things, too! Why can’t we just share him?

        • Rags

          Dear Canada;

          We surrender.

          Sincerely,

          America

    • Blonde: Check. Dead Eyes: Check. Fear Mongering those “others” check.
      ya know, they keep sayin Canadian right wing is like our Dems but to me they seem more like our right wing.

      • sw19bunnies

        Harper was a pasty-white patrician type – out of the socially-conservative christian faction.
        Leitch is posturing to double-down on that authoritarian-lite and borrow heavily from the Trumpist Handbook.
        I am not impressed, but Harper left a power vacuum after controlling the party for so long, so, welp….

        • Right, so like I said, they seem more like our right wing. Socially conservative, Christian authoritarian……
          Need to start sayin the Centrics are more like the Dems. Because that would at least have some truth to it.

          • sw19bunnies

            The Liberals are more like your Dems.
            The NDP are like Bernie’s retirement home for democratic socialists.
            The Greens are nothing like your batshit Greens.

            Added Bonus Point:
            The provincial BC “Liberals” were hijacked by the conservatives some years ago. There is no BC Conservative party, ipso facto.
            And, thus, there is no liberal BC Liberals.
            Took me an ago to work that out, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…

          • Sounds too confusing to me. Maybe the two party thing is not that bad after all. *slow pan, camera right*

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        It USED to be, till it was hijacked by the far-right Reform Party some years back.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘If I am PM.’ Oh, Kellie, you psychotic little dreamer you!

    • Sophia

      I took the Kellie Leitch’s Canadian Values Test for Immigrants the other night. Apparently, even though I am Canadian I should plan to be removed from the country soon.

      https://www.thebeaverton.com/2016/09/try-kellie-leitchs-canadian-values-test-immigrants/

      • Dang. I have immediate deportation

        • sw19bunnies

          Me too. :< Blimey, acquiring residency is going to be trickier than I thought if I don't put my skates on!

    • jaspersdad
  • memzilla Ω
    • WomanInThePersistence

      I love this.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The American Healthcare Act: Cut twice, measure once.

  • Nounverb911

    So is this a 1000 times worse than Hillary or not a problem since IOKIYAR?
    https://twitter.com/smh/status/840011860896292864

  • Inner Venom

    Nice time for the geeky wonkers: Zazie Beetz officially cast as Domino in Deadpool 2.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4299526/Atlanta-s-Zazie-Beetz-play-mutant-Domino-Deadpool-2.html

    • sw19bunnies

      I see the gamergaters are out in force already. Waah!!!!

      • ZOMG A WOMAN INFRINGING ON THEIR PERSONAL LIFE. Which someone else made.

        • sw19bunnies

          HALP!!!A BLACK WOMAN!!!!!RUN!!!!!!!!

          • SMEXY BLACK WOMAN! SHE MAKES ME TINGLE IN MY DOWN THERES AND THAT IS CONFUSING ME!! IMPEEEEECCCHHHHH

      • Inner Venom

        Reminds me of how they freaked out over Zenaya playing Mary Jane in the new Spider-Man.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Loved the movie and rewatch often but I know nothing about the universe. Still, she looks hot and should be interesting to watch.

      • It’s marvel so the universe is all mixed and matched with all the other bits and pieces XD

  • Nick Scroggs

    Random question, I’ve got a hypothesis that MRA/alt-right guys might partially be motivated by fears of being inferior in screwing ability to lesbians (I get these random things in my brain a lot, like “I want to eat a bowl of melted cheese with pasta sauce on it”), but can anyone who’s dealt more with those idiots like verify if like I’m onto something with it?

    • Scrofula

      Fear of inferiority to everyone.

      • Nick Scroggs

        So I guess it’s back to the drawing board then.

      • sw19bunnies

        The poor dears are having their privileges rights eroded!

      • Sophia

        Also a fear of not being relevant in any way in today’s society. That’s why they’re so stoked by Trump. They see themselves as having relevance once more.

    • I doubt they think badly of Lesbians, so long as said Lesbians are hawt.
      Their insecurity comes from having been burnt, or rejected, and instead of trying again or doing anything for self improvement, deciding that the problem is with the entire gender that will not do their bidding like they think happened in the good ol’ days.
      No shit, these guys want to go back to arranged marriage and selling women as chattel because they think that is the only way they can get and keep a life companion.
      Seriously sad shit.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Used to be, those malcontents would go to Asia to get brides who, ‘hadn’t been Westernized’ and wait on them hand and foot while forbidden to leave the house.

        Yeah, that generally didn’t work out the way they thought it would.

      • Dazza

        Also seriously scary shit.

    • Dazza

      You are right, and there is a scientific study to back you up in The Journal of Sexual Medecine.

      http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jsm.12669/abstract

      Results

      Mean occurrence rate for experiencing orgasm during sexual activity with a familiar partner was 62.9% among single women and 85.1% among single men, which was significantly different (F1,2848 = 370.6, P < 0.001, η2 = 0.12). For men, mean occurrence rate of orgasm did not vary by sexual orientation: heterosexual men 85.5%, gay men 84.7%, bisexual men 77.6% (F2,1494 = 2.67, P = 0.07, η2 = 0.004). For women, however, mean occurrence rate of orgasm varied significantly by sexual orientation: heterosexual women 61.6%, lesbian women 74.7%, bisexual women 58.0% (F2,1350 = 10.95, P < 0.001, η2 = 0.02). Lesbian women had a significantly higher probability of orgasm than did either heterosexual or bisexual women (P < 0.05).

      Conclusions

      Findings from this large dataset of U.S. singles suggest that women, regardless of sexual orientation, have less predictable, more varied orgasm experiences than do men and that for women, but not men, the likelihood of orgasm varies with sexual orientation. These findings demonstrate the need for further investigations into the comparative sexual experiences and sexual health outcomes of sexual minorities. Garcia JR, Lloyd EA, Wallen K, and Fisher HE. Variation in orgasm occurrence by sexual orientation in a sample of U.S. singles. J Sex Med 2014;11:2645–2652.

  • thewalkindude

    President Donald Trump has been described as an Internet troll. Yet for months his critics have been trolling him right back, not just via social media but by bashing Trump hotels, restaurants, and resorts with bad online reviews—and the strategy could mean upwards of $100 million in lost revenues for Trump companies.
    http://time.com/money/4695049/trump-hotels-online-reviews-yelp-tripadvisor-google/

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Good.

    • sw19bunnies

      Shame that becoming POTUS will make him a real life billionaire, instead of an imaginary one.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        I thought criminals couldn’t profit off their crimes?

        • BosGrl

          RICO laws have been rescinded

      • Which is what this entire thing has been about

  • Me The People

    Scolded little doggy Jeff Sessions working real hard to re-earn favour of his master:

    https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2017/03/09/sessions-open-to-outside-counsel-on-doj-investigation-n2296449

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Ugh. Townhall is like stumbling into some alternate, evil universe.

      • Me The People

        Yep. It’s where they live.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      How do you say ‘squirrel’ in Alabamese?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Supper

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          After all my failures in life, I’m proud to play a successful straight man @Wonkette.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Walk tall, feel proud.

      • Begin Anew Day

        ROLL TIDE!

  • Nounverb911
    • BosGrl

      I hope to God that Trump is wearing pants.

      • snark-lurker

        You had to go there…sumbuddy always haz to go there.

        • Begin Anew Day

          There is always something there.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        #neverforget

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Catherine brought Joe–her kindergarten class stuffed giraffe!

      For protection, no doubt.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Trump with alt-smile.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Ewwwwww, just ewwwwwww….

    • Suse

      So he’s sold his children’s souls as well.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He doesn’t even look at the kids. Bamz would have interacted with them in some way- say a hug. Then again, I wouldn’t want the orange ass boil touching my children. We all know what those little hands have been grabbing

    • jaspersdad

      Don’t blame Cruze on us. He learned everything he knows in Texas.

    • Jamoche
    • Vincent Ricola

      These poor little girls are going to have some really uncomfortable questions for their punchable father in about 10 years.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Even more uncomfortable for their therapists in 15 tears.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I am warming to Trevor Noah.

    https://youtu.be/7QD-jvOJfgA

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’ve also started to like him. I’ve tuned in a few times recently, and he’s been quite funny.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I always thought he was somewhat funny. But also a little lost. New country, new unspoken expectations, and following John Stewart. This bit rather endeared him to me.

        https://youtu.be/2PWSJH02krs

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I think he’s finally finding his own self. Following Stewart would be the job from hell.

  • Serai 1
    • snark-lurker

      : )

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      I like that someone visualized this setup at sometime in their day. brilliant.

      • Serai 1

        Clearly a stoner lives in that house.

    • Wild Cat

      Horton Hears a Mew?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Thanks, I needed that. My blood is in a rage boil over Obamacare and Paul Ryan.

      • Don’t do that! Pretty sure TrumpDon’tCare won’t be covering rage induced heart attacks

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I used to laugh at the Tea Party being in a constant rage over Obama, the constitutional scholar, destroying America to build a socialist utopia with affordable health care. I keep asking myself if I’m doing the same thing they were doing, getting all hysterical over nothing, and then I remember that an orange grifter who’s been a lifelong scumbag and con man is running the country, and probably being blackmailed or bribed by Russia, and I realize it’s all real.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Is that a catelephant?

  • Suse

    Top Foreign Service guy fired by Prez Bannon on Rachel.

  • boyblue123

    Because the Drumpf regime just hasnt screwed over the poor enough yet

    https://twitter.com/JDiamond1/status/840010237943922689

    • THIS right here is why they don’t want it called TrumpCare.

    • SayItWithOtters

      And there will be people happily skipping along believing SCROTUS is “taking care of everyone” [ed. “everyone who is exactly like me”] until reality punches them in the face.

  • Panika MCD
    • Me The People

      Hilarious. How long before Trump triumphantly retweets this?

      • Panika MCD

        it’s going to be Spice Spice Baby or K-Con that references it to Chuck Todd. then he’ll tweet it.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Anyone feeling the need to bash your head into a brick wall, but you need a little motivation? Here, read David French decrying how Paul Krugman is a huge hypocrite because he’s accused the GOP of degrading political discourse, but Krugman is the REAL racist here :
    “Make no mistake, I’m not claiming that Krugmanism is an exclusively left-wing phenomenon. I spend entirely too much of my spare time debunking for friends the conspiracy theories forwarded around conservative Facebook and Breitbart.** Every political movement has its share of fools and cranks. They can never be entirely purged. The problem is magnified, however, when the kooks go mainstream, and few people are more mainstream on the Left than Nobel laureate and New York Times darling Paul Krugman. If we want to get past the nastiness of 2016, we’ll first have to get past the hypocrisy of men like him.”

    Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/441656/paul-krugman-hypocrisy-boundless

    **Please note my little Libtard snowflakes that there is absolutely NO difference between Dr. professor Paul Krugman, and an article on Breitbart.

  • Me The People
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      If that’s a pie sandwich, I want one!

    • Sophia

      I got a bunch of small turkey pot pies and some croissants. Think that would be close enough?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Go for it!

    • Weevie

      Marmite pie?
      Those people have no shame!
      Food sucks too!

    • jaspersdad
    • Ωbjectifier
      • Me The People
      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Tomahto. For breakfast. Kippers, yes. If the tomahto was with the kipper, just maybe. Preferably not. Beans, no. Maybe Mexican beans, but not those beans. Mushrooms, no. Just no.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Sign me up for that. But where’s the blood pudding?

      • ahughes798

        mmmmm good! The English Breakfast had all that and 1 slice each of 2 types of blood sausage. Which I did not eat. Ate everything else, though. Different and good.

        • sw19bunnies

          I used to love black pudding, before I turned veggie. :P

          • Dazza

            Dad?

    • snark-lurker

      Look out there are no canned clams here!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Nessie?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Well, it’s not a chip batty.

      • Me The People

        In Scotland we call that a “piece and chips” – pretty much a staple all over the UK. I eat them too. But I draw the line at the pie in a bun.

        https://youtu.be/etYkG1u5TmY

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I always thought you were classy.

    • Weevie
    • Sister the Resister

      This reminds me very much of my Mac-and-Cheese Stuffed Calzone idea, aka Pasta Pockets. Now also available in Fettucini Alfredo flavor.

    • sw19bunnies
      • Me The People

        The deep fried mars bar may be an obscenity, but it’s a tasty obscenity. That’s the difference.

    • Dazza

      Hah. Weak sauce. I give you the meat pie floater (a meat pie – with ketchup – floating in a bowl of pea soup). It is the hangover cure no-one asked for. Thanks, South Australia.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3542d1f248f461cc1fbe7f273291f4d4b99c5aafa4dca683580f6435a401791c.jpg

      • srsly. What the hell is wrong with people.

        • Dazza

          IKR? If it weren’t for immigrants, all available Aussie food would be artery-clogging nastiness. And yet, “true-blue” (white, with varicose veins, I assume) Aussies loathe immigrants.
          I don’t get it either.

      • Me The People

        Australia is pretty much my idea of hell, now I know it’s also the home of the actual Hell’s Kitchen.

        • That’s New York ain’t it?

          • Me The People

            Yeah, lol I guess I meant the metaphorical Hell’s kitchen, not the actual one.

          • sorry, I was not catching on XD I always figure I am wrong on a thing hence why I ask

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Is this considered hangover food because it makes you vomit and clear out some of the toxins dancing around in your tummy?

        • Dazza

          You would think so, wouldn’t you?

          “The Pie Floater

          The pie floater – an upside-down pie in a bowl of pea soup, topped with either tomato sauce or, sometimes, Worcestershire Sauce (controversial, we know) – was reputedly invented by a South Australian Port Pirie baker known as Ern ‘Shorty’ Bradley at the turn of the 20th century.

          Woolloomooloo’s Harry Cafe De Wheels deserves an honourable mention for having served the, uh, attractive dish since it opened its shutters in 1938.”

          Please see http://www.theherald.com.au/story/3338080/the-meat-pie-and-chicko-roll-where-do-they-come-from/
          for other Aussie ‘cuisine’.

          • Sophia

            I don’t think I’ll click on the link. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see any other cuisine

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Oy. I love pie, meat pies included, and I love pea soup. I do not love the idea of these two things sliding down my gullet at the same time. Especially after adding ‘mater sauce or ketchup. Shudder.