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Nearly two months before the R’s rolled out their dumb, mean-spirited, guaranteed-to-kill-people “replacement” for the Affordable Care Act, New York Magazine’s Jonathan Chait very correctly predicted that every Republican lie about how the ACA was passed would turn out to be true in repealing it. That’s some context you may find useful as we examine this piece of lying trash on Twitter from Tom Cotton, a far larger piece of lying trash:

So Tom Cotton doesn’t want to rush the ACA repeal through, the way those terrible Dems did when they passed the ACA in the middle of the night with no transparency. A process that took a full year, and which went through multiple committees and hearings, and which passed with, as Chait notes, “two full House majority votes, one Senate supermajority vote and, in fact, many, many, many hearings.” True, the final version passed the Senate through the filibuster-proof reconciliation process (the end of democracy when used by Dems, a clever parliamentary move when used by Rs), but all the basics were in place before then.

As Nancy Pelosi, who was actually there and went back to look it up, explained in a series of tweets, in the House alone, the ACA was far from a rush job:

Needless to say, a score of wingnuts jumped in — and we can guaran-damn-tee some moron will do it in our comments which we don’t allow — with the “gotcha” sound bite of Pelosi saying “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it,” which, as we’ve noted before, utterly takes out of context what Pelosi actually was getting at in the full quote:

You’ve heard about the controversies within the bill, the process about the bill, one or the other. But I don’t know if you have heard that it is legislation for the future, not just about health care for America, but about a healthier America, where preventive care is not something that you have to pay a deductible for or out of pocket. Prevention, prevention, prevention — it’s about diet, not diabetes. It’s going to be very, very exciting. But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.

Whaaaat? You mean Pelosi wasn’t saying she had no idea what was in the bill Dems so hurriedly tossed together one night while also planning to take all your guns? And she wasn’t hiding it in a basement from her Republican colleagues? Chait notes that the out-of-context line has become a shortcut for Republicans’ certain knowledge that the ACA was “passed in the dead of night through a secretive, rushed, undemocratic process.” But that never happened, although it is true that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton ate pizza and laughed all night while watching Benghazi go down in real time.

By contrast, House Republicans do seem bent on passing the ACA repeal and “replacement” as quickly as possible — the House really did pass the first step of the process at 4:30 AM Thursday, and the Senate has yet to schedule a single hearing on it. Of course, they’re not hiding the bill’s contents (anymore), but they sure as hell don’t want to let the process go very long. Republican leaders want to have the House finish its two bills by the end of March. They have to hurry, lest more rightwing Republicans defect because the bill isn’t a straight repeal that would utterly undo the ACA with no replacement (then they can pass another bill so we can find out what’s in it). Once that’s rushed through, they somehow have to lose no more than two Republican votes in the Senate, where four moderate R’s have already said the replacement is unacceptable because they know killing off Medicaid expansion (and steeply cutting what’s left of Medicaid) would bite them in the ass in the next election.

So let’s just correct Sen. Cotton’s Tweet for him, shall we? If he wants to slow the process down and take it deliberately, he needs to start with “GOP needs to act like Dems did with O’care…”

Of course, anything he says after that will be irrelevant, since his fellow teabaggers will set upon him with a pile of rocks like the villagers at the end of “The Lottery.”

Yr Wonkette is now ad-free! That means we depend on you to help fund our finely honed bullshit detectors. We couldn’t do it without you.

[Tom Cotton on Twitter / New York / Nancy Pelosi on Twitter / Politico ]

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  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • thank-you-thing

    Another cotton boner ( not for the kids )

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeF6VZbPaTI&t=0m31s

  • lowenufc

    Today had been a plethora of people I want to hit in the face with a baseball bat.
    I consider myself the luckiest man alive, but not for long.

  • Chadwells
  • theblackdog

    Off to make more calls to my reps. I wonder if they’re sick of me yet.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      If they are I hope you double your efforts.

    • ltmcdies

      I suspect you rather don’t care if they are

      • theblackdog

        Nope! :-D

  • schmannity

    On NPR, he is quoted as saying that the GOP should wait for the CBO estimate of cost and loss of coverage. Looks like somebody is getting a primary challenger.

    • kev

      looks to me like another Arkansas politician who is adept at triangulating his state’s electorate. If this shit goes through, a FUCKTON of razorbacks will be screwed out of coverage but also the ultra-right will be unhappy as not having screwed the American public hard enough. Tom Rotton is on record as supporting both! (and neither).

      • schmannity

        the ultra-right will be unhappy as not having screwed the black American public hard enough.

        FIFY

      • Raan

        It’s Schrödinger’s senator.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    TrumpCare has a YOOGE Death Panel! We call it “The House of Representatives”, but a rose by any other name…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      …smells like shit.

  • Jamoche

    “Tom Cotton” seems more like it should be an anthropomorphic representation than the name of a real person. Maybe one of the new American Gods – Tom Cotton, the spirit of the slaveowning South.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is he an uncle?

      • Jamoche

        Aha! That’s exactly what it was missing :)

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Boy howdy, I hope I’m the first one to share this gem. Fake Christian homophobic TN state senator was named by both spouses in a divorce proceeding as being in an affair with the wife. She is an employee of his medical practice and also a patient, and she is also….wait for it…his second cousin.
    https://twitter.com/crewislife/status/839951787155083265

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      If I wasn’t already a lesbian that face could make me one.

      • ViveLaPersistence

        That face makes me think that he isn’t the first in his line to dip the old pen into the family inkwell.

        • maxneanderthal

          Can probably count to 11 on both hands…….KnowhatImsayin?

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        It looks like a badly-fitting mask.

      • maxneanderthal

        Noticed how it’s “smiling” on one half, and not the other….American Psycho…

    • Yr. Gma

      Fundamentalist perverts always have that haircut. Why is anyone surprised when he turns out to be a pervert? (I am not surprised.)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      When genetic backwash marries.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      You could play a game of cards on that head.

      • The Librarian

        And room for a brew.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He looks like he has carnal knowledge of livestock.

    • orygone

      second cousin is cool. gotta stay away from dem first cousins though. kids look funny

      • leemoder

        See above photo.

        • orygone

          oh yeah

    • nightmoth

      Awww–the little boy who played banjo in Deliverance is all grown up!

    • ltmcdies

      well of course he is…

    • shastakoala

      Give him a decade, he’ll be his own Grampa.

    • The Wanderer

      My (lack of) God, you could post ads on that forehead.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You think this is bad, just wait until his prize hog files its divorce proceeding.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Pencil necked geek

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Grit eating freak

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Scum-sucking peahead with a lousy physique.

        … damn, it almost fits TOO well.

        • lroom

          That works for Paul “Chicken Legs” Ryan also too.

  • aureolaborealis

    That boy either got too many or too few wedgies in high school. Either way, it ruined him.

  • snark-lurker

    “If we don’t repeal Obama care, this country will go belly-up & then there will be no money to provide [anyone] with [any] healthcare”

    –a goper on NPR

    • Yr. Gma

      Huh? (I don’t expect anyone to explain that to me. It’s a rhetorical “huh.”)

      • clubseal

        We’re at least in no danger of running out of right wing hyperbole.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          To bad we can’t run generators off RW hyperbole.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            And put even more coal miners out of work?

        • whitroth

          The photon torpedos, to shine light on their darkness, are being blocked by their hyperbole shields, captain!

      • mackafritz

        It’s almost as if they are using a logic from a different dimension.

    • boyblue122

      All the monies must be spent on wall and bloated defense contracts…no need to invest money in the health of the American people

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Well, this is understandable. Tom Cotton has other things on his mind, you know:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5785b76b477b0110002a1a7bd4827aba40af5a0a0e269c26ed55b2cddff1a1a8.jpg

    • maxneanderthal

      He has a mind?

      • OneYieldRegular

        He has cotton instead.

        • The Wanderer

          And them cotton balls have gone rotten.

        • shastakoala

          It’s the fabrication of his life.

    • Inner Venom

      His name makes him sound like some generic whitebread fashion designer who makes puffy coats and boots.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Wild Cat

      Needs more Leidesplein, if I can explain . . .

      How’s Ajax doing?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Just lost against Kopenhagen but got that important goal so we will finsh it back hom.

        • Wild Cat

          Shit. I’ve been to Amsterdam ArenA twice; saw Ajax win 1-0 back in October.
          Kids drink too much Jupiter before the matches.

  • Wild Cat

    Now he’s into gentrification:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09LCwajb_dA

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Wild Cat

      Stalin at least would have slept with their wives before they were purged. What a wuss!

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Oh, wouldn’t it be delicious if his Cunning Plan were coming apart because he misunderestimated just how idiotic his puppets really are?

    • cmd resistor

      Then add in all those dead guys.

    • Marceline

      A coup that would unseat Putin would be glorious.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Think of all the heads that would roll world-wide!

      • Cock Blockula

        Anyone up for a game of Putsch the Putin Putz?

    • Pilotshark

      be nice to see the good old CIA doing a little double twist move on them.

    • PubOption

      Major-General Alexander Owl?????

  • bookish

    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/03/08/spending-30-million-melania-live-nyc-trump-suspends-military-child-care.html

    Taxpayers are footing the bill to the tune of an estimated $30 million for Melania Trump to live in New York City, while the President’s federal hiring freeze is causing the military to close down child care programs.

  • Jamoche

    Think Obermann is snarky? Oh boy, does he ever raise the level here:
    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/839947669481074688

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I’d like to be all snarky about facts and the -R mean liar. But the fact is that Republicans have proven than lying, character attacks, negativity, obstruction and placing party ahead of country … those things WORK in today’s media silo, post-factual era. Democrats need to adapt and evolve to survive.

  • Paperless Tiger

    CBO says no no.

  • Crystalclear12

    How do they think any of this will end well?
    If they pass it, it will fail. (Possibly killing the insurance industry in the process.)
    If it doesn’t, they haven’t followed thru on the one thing they have been promising for the last seven years!

    Burn, baby, burn.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, it will be obvious to anyone that they had seven years to work on it and majorities out the yahoo so that if it fails it will obviously be because of the Democrats

      • Crystalclear12

        And drink.

  • Inner Venom

    I have two words for you: Single payer.

    But of course they would never approve of that. That’s *gasp* SOCIALISM!!!! Think of teh childrenz!

  • TJ Barke

    I’ve had it with these motherfucking liars in this motherfucking country.

    • Inner Venom

      After what Ben Carson and Betsy DeVos said recently, I’m sure Sam Jackson has too.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What would it take to fill congress with alligators some evening….?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Just make the Republicans stay late and you are half way there.

  • aureolaborealis

    Tom Cotton Cŏnt Motto

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Том хлопок.

  • The Librarian

    Here are More than 400 Officials Trump has Quietly Deployed Across the Government
    https://projects.propublica.org/graphics/beachhead

    • maxneanderthal

      Getting the new Stazi stool pigeons in place. Then they’ll start to subborn/threaten/ethnically cleanse their departments. Then the disappearances will begin….Straight out of Beria’s playbook..

  • Mavenmaven

    They are going to pass this Trumpcare as fast as they can no matter how many people they have to kill to do it!

  • nightmoth

    There is no antivenin for the bite of a Tom Cottonmouth Moccasin.

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, at least their projection is still working.

    • TJ Barke

      They’ve got the best projectors, yooge, believe me.

    • Creepoman

      I’d like to know model they’re using – the one in our conference room overheats every half hour.

  • marxalot

    You guys, is it possible that a week of vegetarian diet on top of all this healthy exercise is killing me? My tummy hurts.
    Maybe it’s worried that now is its last chance to develop a pre-existing condition.

    • whitroth

      How can I be as mean as a Reptilian? I know: BACON… BACON… BACON…

    • jowgajen

      You can get some ferocious gas while your body acclimates.

      Also you could have a food sensitivity to something you have added to your diet. If that’s the case, you might keep a food journal in order to figure out what that is.

      • marxalot

        Nothing new in the diet, I just eliminated my (already very short) ration of meat.
        Maybe I should eat a steak and some egg custard just to be safe.

    • Weevie

      vegetarian, maybe. exercise, no.
      go vegan, you’ll stay busy trying to figure out a) what it is, and b) how to pronounce it.
      I like ovo-lacto-carni-vege-gran-arinism. Eat everthing!

  • Inner Venom

    While we’re on the subject of republicans and their contempt for poor people, today I saw this post. It really boggles the mind, no? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d35dd6f2c19831defd304406c481f83da7e51d68ed4c02885a3036b6955379b.jpg

    • Vecchioivan

      I hear most of them have at least one pair of shoes.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Some of them poorz wear shoes! (Made in China, of course…but still!)

    • What a shock that they might have a way to store and cook food. Tsk, why aren’t they just eating it fresh and raw?

      • Inner Venom

        I mean my father, who works as a mechanic at a limo fleet service, got our microwave for literally nothing because they gave away the old appliances they had at the garage. But I guess that means we’re loaded…

        • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

          No it means you’re a moocher. /s 😁

      • Inner Venom

        Mind you, I acknowledge there are those who have it way worse than my family, but to deny that people struggle because they have BASIC APPLIANCES in their home is obtuse.

        • Oh, I know. It’s fucking ridiculous that these assholes think having basic appliances is evidence of “wealth.” Just like having a vehicle, no matter it’s actual condition. I live in a very rural area with a lot of poor people around, and it’s 20 miles to the nearest grocery store. Not exactly something you can walk to and back.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Also, it’s cheaper to make coffee and cook at home that buy prepared. But then poor people shouldn’t have food and drink anyway because they’re dumb gross losers who should just die so rich people don’t have to look at them anyway.

    • OneYieldRegular

      So somebody in the FOX newsroom actually had to go and put those graphics together. That must have been some pride in a job done.

    • The Wanderer

      Fuck Stuart so-called Varney, and who the fuck is the brindle-haired shithead on the right of the picture?

    • Picabo

      How many coffee makers does it take to pay for a mammogram? Asking for a friend.

      • Depends on which coffee maker you buy. If you buy a really fancy one, one or two. If you buy the “Dollar store special,” you might need a hundred or so.

      • A joke, but hasn’t anyone noticed the explosion in websites for selling / auctioning off your shit?

    • ViveLaPersistence

      OMG. This movement of bitter under-performing racists whining that things are not what they used to be (even though they never were) has put this nation on what may be an irreversible path to destruction. I’m sick of it.

    • boyblue122

      a refrigerator…really?

      This isnt the turn of the 20th century or anything

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Varney’s an oily, self-righteous, condescending bastard that hasn’t experienced a moment of deprivation in the whole of his pampered life, and I fucking hate him.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Now there’s a furriner who could use some deportin’.

        • Ducksworthy

          He came in under the Alt Statute of Liberty that reads: “Give us your tired worn out neo-Fascist dictators and their followers.” See also, disenfranchised Batista followers from Cuba.

    • Persistent Demme

      A coffee maker?!
      Amazon has lots for $10-30.
      Stick to picking on iphones!

      • SmokinGood

        In Foxworld, having a coffee maker means that you’re buying real coffee not Folgers crystals, like some effete liberal coastal elite spendthrift.

    • Picabo

      How many of them wear used bread bags for shoes?

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Jesus H.

      Basically, this Republican trash is saying, Unless you’re living on the street (which is against the law, because poor people smell funny, so if they catch you the cops will beat the crap out of you and throw you either a) in jail or b) over the line into the next county, whichever is easiest) you’re not “poor,” because poverty is Third World stuff where you live in the street with no appliances, whereas you all whining people have “ceilings” and “refrigerators” and things. So, not poor.

      Republicans are also fond of telling feminists and gays to shut up and stop complaining. Because America is the greatest country in the world, and it’s a free country, and if the gays and the womenfolks lived in a Muslim country awful things would happen to them, but since they live in a free country they need to shut up and take whatever abuse comes their way, because this is a Christian country as well as a free one, and God has a thing or two to say about the gays and the women, and at least we’re not Muslim, unlike in a Muslim country where you get abused and there isn’t a thing you can do about it because it’s in their Scripture.

      Jesus H.

      • Ducksworthy

        Thank yer Gawd you’re not in some mooslim country where the faithful have an obligation to feed the poor.

    • Ducksworthy

      The refrigerator statistic fascinates. Clearly poor people should not have an f*cking food to be putting in a refrigerator. Some of them even have indoor plumbing.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      “We were shocked to find that poor people had kitchens equipped with common appliances. We expected to find women huddled over fires in the back yard.”
      – Stuart Varney, That Time I Went to the Ghetto (2006)

  • Rick Hill

    trump twits “All these groups are coming together(for health care reform) and it will end in a beautiful picture.”

    Here’s that picture donnie is thinking of:
    http://www.edvardmunch.org/images/paintings/the-scream.jpg

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      My avatar agrees.

  • whitroth

    We need all the neoConfederates (“teabaggers”) in that circle, and all of us with rocks….

    • maxneanderthal

      Can I stone them, even if they do say “jehovah”?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        *hurls a rock at max*

  • shaar dula

    Hey Tom.
    Put your balls where your convictions are. Get off the welfare.

  • bookish

    So my question is, who will be the real conduit to Russia?

    http://www.vox.com/world/2017/3/9/14862508/jon-huntsman-trump-russia-ambassador

    Ambassador to Russia is an absolutely critical position for the Trump White House, given the host of never-ending Russia scandals engulfing the administration. Yet they’ve just appointed a fickle politician with no special Russia expertise and a history of disloyalty to the post.

    There’s no way to slice this that makes any sense.

  • I don’t often think of cotton and healthcare at the same time, but when I do, I think of James Cotton singing, “Fever”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_BPqRHgHR4

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Iran Tom just can’t seem to find his xtian side.

    • The Wanderer

      Did he ever have one?

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Well, one must assume he never actually had one. Like all his compatriots.

  • shaar dula

    all you sclerotic ideological mothafuckers. stand up to it and live by it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is sclerosis a pre-existing condition?

  • OneYieldRegular

    4:30 a.m.? Pretty soon the GOP will just tie passage of certain pieces of legislation directly to Donald Trump’s Twitter account, since no one is reviewing anything anyway.

    • So, Sunday morning around 4:00 AM?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m sure it was 4:20, but it just seemed like 4:30.

  • cheetojeebus

    Listen, If you don’t want to have a fucking stroke instantly from rage don’t read the article about John Shimkus (Fucking R) and his opinion about what men shouldn’t have to pay for in their insurance.

    • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

      Lemme guess…it has to do with wimmenz

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      What if we don’t want to pay for prostate cancer, ball cancer, and little blue pills? Also men get breast cancer too.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/03/trump-kislyak-timeline/519027/

    To understand who met whom, when they met each other, and the context surrounding their meetings, here’s a timeline of the encounters between Trump associates and [Russian ambassador] Kislyak—the trivial, the not-so-trivial, and more.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    But that never happened, although it is true that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton ate pizza and laughed all night while watching Benghazi go down in real time.

    I don’t see no pizza, alternative lying media!!
    http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2011/TECH/web/05/02/bin.laden.video/t1larg.obama.situation.room.twh.jpg
    Also, too, looks like the girl in the room is about to puke, or else why would she have her hand over her mouth?

    • Weevie

      Trump Idiots would be cheering and fist pumping. This is what adults look like, Trump Idiots.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Well yeah, our people are human beings as opposed to mindless zombies.

    • shaar dula

      dont even.

  • Attention Disney: One of your animatronics for the zombie theme ride has been found.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      No, it’s okay, this is one of the ones they scrapped for being defective and beyond repair.

      • Maybe if we take it apart, replace a few processors, change around some wiring, we can … probably fail to put it back together again. Still, worth a shot.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Could we send it to West World?

  • bookish

    https://www.usnews.com/news/politics/articles/2017-03-09/ex-trump-adviser-carter-page-at-center-of-russia-storm

    Page, who left the campaign before the election, has emerged as a key figure in the controversy surrounding Trump associates’ connections to Russia. The New York Times has reported that Page is among the Trump associates whose potential contacts with Russia are being investigated by the FBI. Congressional committees probing Russia’s hacking during the election and Trump campaign ties have asked Page to preserve materials related to their investigations.

    For those who contend the scrutiny of Trump is overblown, Page is the sort of figure often associated with an understaffed presidential campaign that struggled to recruit policy advisers and spent little time vetting those who did join the team. But to those who believe Trump’s campaign was colluding with Russia as it hacked Democratic groups, Page may be the key link between the candidate and Moscow. Page contends he’s the target of a plot hatched by Trump’s former rival Hillary Clinton and allies who engaged in “severe election fraud in the form of disinformation, suppression of dissent, hate crimes and other extensive abuses.”

    • Ducksworthy

      Investment banker, Trump advisor, Russian operative. Quite the career.

      • OrG

        License plate maker to top it off.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The “I know you are but what am I defense.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He seems very nervous when he’s interviewed. Will he flip, or will baby dead eyed rodent Miller?

  • The Wanderer

    Is it wrong of me to imagine switching on the news one night to find that this fur-faced ratfucker’s died of autoerotic asphyxia?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yes, but you’re quite okay not being surprised by the news.

    • shaar dula

      my understanding. companies are people. their money via pacs is sacred speech. that can actually fuck and screw people by the millions. but speech by actual people is not sacred. we have to be content with votes and finding round about ways like wishing diarrhea by votes.

      everything said here implies action with votes ofcourse.

    • With votes.

  • Anna Rompage

    I’d be happy to give Tom here some therapeutic electro shock therapy to help him with his numerous mental illnesses… Heck’ I’d even do it for free even….

    • Jack Tenhet

      Hey, maybe sec Carson could drill a hole in his head so he can be hooked to a car battery and be mad to remember what was actually said.

      I mean, it’s nothing a few hundred thousand votes can’t cure. The human body is basically a potato clock.

      • Is that called ‘trepanning’, or ‘trefining’ (sp?)

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        A few hundred thousand votes would cure him also. (I know what you meant)

  • Weevie
  • Villago Delenda Est

    I still want to have a beer with some of his NCOs from Iraq to get the real story on this putz.

    • The ones where “frag the louie” was a frequent thought?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        One has to wonder about that. My troops liked me, but they still joked about “walllocker down a flight of stairs” around me.

      • shivaskeeper

        We don’t say that anymore. Now he would be the first one to catch some outbound fire.

        • “No one could figure out why he stood up just then…”

          • shivaskeeper

            Pretty much.

    • shivaskeeper

      I’d be willing to bet he was one the ones practicing his speech for the Medal of Honor every morning while he was shaving. He seems like the type.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        All the classrooms at Harvard Law are connected by tunnels. If you live in one of the student housing units, you could go three years and never walk in the sun. I worked-studied the evening shift in the library. Late one night, after the library closed, I was walking through the empty hallway to get to my locker. As I was standing at my locker, I could hear in the distance around the corner, the clicking of heels on the cement floor, getting louder as the person approached me. And I could hear the person whistling the tune to “Hail to the Chief.” I really wanted to see who it was but by the Dopplering I knew he turned off into one of the sub halls to another building. I often tell that story when people ask me what is was like to go to school there: a lot of little assholes getting trained to be big ones. Cotton is an example.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Our new overlords in training

          • Ducksworthy

            “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” (quoting some literature here.) Henry VI,” Part II, act IV, Scene II, Line 73

            But the real questions now is “Bannon Jack Cade?”

      • mailman27

        Kept nicking his Adam’s apple.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Tom Cottonmouth needs to be the first one up against the (metaphorical) wall when the Empire is defeated (with votes).

    • OrG

      First? Maybe top 100.

  • Jack Tenhet
  • Poly_Ester

    I’m sure that Tom thinks he is Abe Lincoln with that beard. At least he can’t offer the cold winter excuse.

  • kindness

    How Cotton didn’t get fragged when he was an Army Captain I can’t understand. What an asshole!

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s actually pretty easy to work around piss poor company grade officers.

    • magyar of infinite power

      Wasn’t he JAG corps?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “Remember, objecting GOP Congresscritters – this isn’t about healthcare or health or freedom or people, really. It’s about that damn darkie who was in the White House until recently and how we can’t get over the fact that he was elected twice.”

    • CATMAN

      Not to mention a huge tax cut for high incomes

  • Come here a minute

    …at the end of “The Lottery”.

    Thanks a fucking lot. Ever heard of a spoiler alert, asshole? I was going to read that you know.

  • Jamoche

    http://www.sainthoax.com/make-america-misogynistic-again/
    Take a bunch of sexist ads from the last century. Add Trumpie quotes.

    • BosGrl

      The last picture is Tonja Walker, the deliciously insane Olivia Jerome on General Hospital. YES, I watch a soap opera; I’ve watched it since 1978. SHUT UP!

      • Jamoche

        I used to watch the ABC soaps every summer with my grandmother.

        • BosGrl

          I did too :) Did she call them her “stories”? That’s a nice memory.

          • Jamoche

            Yes! :)

          • mfp

            shhhsh! imma watch-a my stories now, piccolo!

      • Lambsendbeds

        I watched all the ABC soaps for a good 25 years before real life made them all look relatively sane, almost making me wish I could swap lives with them. That took all the fun out of them. *sad face*

        • BosGrl

          I miss AMC and OLTL… :( But I know what you mean.

    • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
      • Lambsendbeds

        You win ALL the upvotes for the GIF of my favorite Doctor, #4, Tom Baker.

  • beavertank

    Poor Tom Cotton, without the beard he looks like an insufferable teenaged prick. With the beard he looks like an insufferable creepy 30-something prick.

    If only there were some way to fix that without removing literally his entire body from the equation. I guess he’s doomed to suffer the ignominy of looking like a childish prick. Too bad the outside matches the inside in this case.

    • mardam422

      Which is a big reason why he always looks like a prick.

  • mailman27

    “Paging Tom Cotton, please come to the Press Room” (Henry VIII libelz)

  • Jamoche

    https://consumerist.com/2017/03/09/d-c-restaurant-sues-new-trump-hotel-alleging-unfair-competition/#more-10271546
    D.C. Restaurant Sues New Trump Hotel, Alleging Unfair Competition

    But Cork has the problem of being about a mile and a half down the road from the Old Post Office, which since 2013 has been leased to Donald Trump for redevelopment. In 2016, the Trump International Hotel opened on the property, and includes the BLT Prime steakhouse restaurant.

    That’s a problem, say Cork’s owners, because anyone looking to book an influence-generating event knows perfectly well which venue the President of the United States — and by extension, those who work for him — is going to prefer or insist on, and it won’t be theirs.

  • Ducksworthy

    No mental health care but crazy people can buy guns.

    • Begin Anew Day

      I can?

      Where’s that credit card? Excuse me but I gotta go do some chores!

    • JCfromNC

      Not merely “crazy”, but adjudicated incapable of managing their own affairs. But they’ll be responsible gun owners, yessiree Bob! No need to worry about anything going wrong with that.

      • Rickyphoo

        That’s what drives ME crazy about the GOPbaggers – take any topic/problem, gun control, healthcare, religion, immigration, etc., then think of the most That’s-insane-you-have-to-be-kidding-me version of that topic/problem and you can beg that that is where the GOPbaggers will come down on that version.

        I mean, seriously, what sane person would think it’s a good idea to let certified mentally ill people own guns?

  • canes_pugnaces

    It is impossible to reason with a pathological liar. Now imagine an entire legislative and executive branch of them.

  • John Lo

    Another reason Pelosi made the statement, “have to pass the bill so you can see what’s in it,” was because she full well knew that the two Republicans who have an attention span long enough to read the bill would be jacking off in the house basement to a mental picture of Bill, Monica and a cigar, and wouldn’t read it.

    Policy wank(er) Ryan knows this too, (except he knows that his Republican mates are now jerking off to pictures of Kellyanne in her Napoleon coat, they image she’s naked underneath,) and would find the two page Best American Health Plan easier to read.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Thanks for that mental image of :
      1) Republicans jerking off the pictures of Kellyanne Conway in her Napoleon coat
      2) Kellyanne Conway naked UNDER her Napoleon coat

      Brain bleach on aisle 3!!!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Needless to say, a score of wingnuts jumped in — and we can guaran-damn-tee some moron will do it in our comments which we don’t allow — with the “gotcha” sound bite of Pelosi saying “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it,” ”

    OMG, the wingnut is coming from within the house!!!! Last week my mom quoted Pelosi out of context to me, and I said “I don’t remember her saying that, I’m going to look that up” and found out it was the usual out of context bullshit/propaganda.

    • BosGrl

      I had to explain to my sister that if the ACA goes away, so does my health care. She didn’t realize… :(

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m really starting to feel like I’m on crazy pills, because all of this madness can NOT really be happening. We’re going to get rid of how we pay for Obamacare (fees if you don’t sign up, taxes on wealthy people, etc…), but we’re going to keep the parts of Obamacare that white middle class people like, and then charge people triple premiums if they let their health care lapse? Yeah, GOP, that’s not crazy AT ALL!!!

        • BosGrl

          I know – it does feel like Bizzarro World where nothing makes any sense.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Half the time I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I mean, WTF? I’m used to the usual Republican dickery, but we’ve reached a whole new level of crazy with Trump and company. On top of the Russian craziness, we have a perfectly good health care system (which was the ONE good idea the GOP ever had) that Republicans are trying to destroy, instead of fix. It makes NO sense to a semi-sane person like me. They could expand it to all 50 states, and say “look, we fixed it!” but instead they’d rather just screw everyone over.

        • HogeyeGrex

          It’s all shock doctrine bullshit designed to keep everyone occupied while they loot every buttonhole and doorknob they can get their greasy, stunted fingers on. The details are relatively unimportant to the guys pulling the strings. As long as it generally dovetails with the ideology; cut taxes on the rich, cut regulations of any kind, cheapen labor, fuck the poor, fuck the middle class, fuck the browns, etc., they don’t care. If it doesn’t make sense, fine. All the more confusion sown.

          The tumbrels cannot come soon enough.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’ve had my tar and feathers at the ready since about 2002.

          • jangoodell

            Maybe we should be taking “before” pics of offices of GOP reps.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Nah. Work on getting everyone to take a “before” pic of their life. These fuckers aren’t going to steal their own doorknobs. They’re going to upend every citizen and shake every penny out of their pockets and keep shaking until the fillings come out so they can use them to decorate those offices. Then they’re either going to tell everyone that they are now much better off, having been rid their evil fillings, or blame the Democrats for it, or both at the same time. And their paste-eating base will lap it all up without blinking.

          • Moar Wordz

            Brevity. I like it.

        • Too bad when all this sinks into the deepest abyss of failure and error, they will successfully blame libtards for everything.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            It has to be great to be an author or politician who is also a Republican, because their stupid base NEVER catches on that they’re dupes who are getting fleeced. You have to be a total idiot to take a party seriously that elects Donald Trump to be POTUS, but the base just never catches on.

          • The peasants are still with us. Seriously, there is almost no difference between the politics of a teafarter and a 13th century medieval peasant.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I always remind myself that the peasants in the South fought for the rights of wealthy landowners to have slaves, until they got tired of getting killed. When they tried to desert and go back home, they got shot by Confederate soldiers. Meanwhile, during the war, the South passed a law that if you owned more than X amount of slaves, you didn’t have to go fight. These morons are STILL fighting to cut taxes on the rich.

          • Actually they insisted they weren’t fighting for slaves, that’s the magical independence they have.

      • jangoodell

        I have explained to my husband that if he crows about a successful repeal of ACA, resulting in my twin sis/bro losing her insurance, that I would divorce him, resulting in him losing his insurance. Haven’t heard a peep about it since. But I am ready for it.

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    I used to give Cotton Balls the benefit of the doubt and thought he may have PTSD.

    Now I realize he’s just a moran.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b594d4b76dee700e772656e82b5d4f32e20d3112a6d9916a41e6d7db44138fe5.gif

  • Bitter Scribe

    Did he look more like a doofus with or without that beard? Discuss.

    • Always looked like a doofus. Now looks like a doofus who is desperate to be considered manly man’s man and that…scraggly….stuff is the best he can do.

      • mfp

        hey, it worked for paul ‘intellectual gee-knee-us’ ryan, dinnit?

    • HazooToo

      It’s not his face that looks stupid and douchey. It’s his gross brain. That’s what makes you want to donate him to a dog-fighting ring.

    • Lambsendbeds

      He looks like the tweeker that lives under the freeway in my neighborhood with the beard. Without the beard he just looks like my ex-husband’s ratfucker of a divorce attorney.

      • Moar Wordz

        Oh shit, you had me at
        ” ratfucker. ”
        Dealing with one of the esq. ones makes me throw up in my mouth every time he texts me. HOW DID YOU GET MY #?!?!?
        Oh, yeah, Thanks for that, Mom.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Doofus vs. bearded doofus?
      Tomato, tomahto.

  • SadDemInTex
  • Greyhame

    Wait, I’m a bit confused. Didn’t they deliberately draft a replacement that was intended to fail? I thought the plan was to repeal, then blame the lack of replace on Democrats.

    • HazooToo

      Plan B. Trump never expected to win, but all the cheating worked. They don’t expect this to pass, but look at it go!

    • almaalum

      Gin and Tacos has a good column on how the Republicans simply don’t know how to govern anymore and they have no ideas. He compares their plan to a half-assed research paper written the night before it was due. http://www.ginandtacos.com/2017/03/08/healthcare-is-a-land-of-contrasts/

      • Zyxomma

        Thanks.

      • FoonTheElder

        The only bills that have passed in the past 15 years are all full of big corporate welfare, generally written by big corporation think tanks. Otherwise, they can’t agree on anything and really don’t care what the real effect is of what they pass.

        The big corporations and wealthy bought the government and courts, and darn if they aren’t going to use them to their advantage.

        Recent Congressional history:
        -Wall Street was bailed out, homeowners weren’t.
        -Medicare drug coverage was passed, while passing on the highest drug prices in the world benefitting big drug companies.
        -Obamacare/Romneycare preserved the insurance companies hold on medical care thanks to a couple of insurance owned Democrats and all the Republicans.

  • arundel

    I adore Nancy SMASH Pelosi very much. But even within full context, “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it” was an unfortunate turn of phrase. Just giving the the ratfckers ammunition.

    Still, I love her calm reasoned Tweets explaining succinctly how the ACA was indeed NOT rushed through, despite what the lying liar Kremlin stooges might say.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I understand the point, but they will distort anything and if that isn’t enough, just make up stuff (“lie”). We cannot constantly second-guess ourselves.

      • arundel

        Right, which is why she shouldn’t have handed them that gift-wrapped quote to misuse.

  • doggiedaddy

    I always felt strong, determined business women were the ultimate turn on, but when you add political prowess and success – hubba hubba.
    Kick their ass Nancy P, kick it off a cliff.

  • Foocatchoo

    Yes, but does it cover Donnie’s Dead Dick Disease?

    • Mateo

      Da, as soon as we take over your country, comrade.
      – Putin

  • He looks like Hans Gruber had a turd gayby with Tom Green

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