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Don’t we always tell him he should just stand there and look pretty?

Speaker Paul Ryan used his weekly press conference Thursday to do a PowerPoint presentation on why the shit sandwich of his RyanCare/TrumpCare plan really is delicious, even though literally nobody likes it, not even Republicans.

We know you don’t actually want to watch the whole thing, so we’ll spare you. But we will highlight an important part, where Ryan, with his sleeves rolled up tryin’ to look like that “cool perfesser” who makes jokes and is still young and sometimes has sex with a handful of the best students in the class, shows that he shouldn’t be doing a damn PowerPoint on health insurance in the first place, since he obviously doesn’t understand how it works:

The fatal conceit of Obamacare is that we’re just gonna MAKE everybody buy our health insurance at the federal government level. Young and healthy people are going to go into the market and pay for the older, sicker people. So the young, healthy person’s going to be made to buy healthcare, and they’re gonna pay for the person, you know, who gets breast cancer in her 40s, or gets heart disease in his 50s. So take a look at this chart. [LOOK AT IT! – ed.] The red slice here are what I would call people with pre-existing conditions, people who have real healthcare problems. The blue is the rest of the people in the individual market, that’s the market where people don’t get health insurance with their jobs, or they buy it themselves. The whole idea of Obamacare is the people in the blue side pay for the people on the red side. The people who are healthy pay for the people who are sick. It’s not working, and that’s why it’s in a death spiral.

Oh Jesus.

First of all, Ryan doesn’t seem to know what a “pre-existing condition” is — for example, before Obamacare, the list included everything from diabee-tus to multiple sclerosis to pregnancy, as well as other more severe things, like acne. (No, really. Like acne.) “Pre-existing condition” doesn’t always mean “grave illness.” Sometimes it’s a manageable condition or just a thing that exists!

But Ryan’s muddying his point here, because a person who is “healthy” today could become “sick” or develop something known down the road as a “pre-existing condition” tomorrow, and they’ll still need coverage. They could get hurt on the job, or come down with a disease! THAT’S. HOW. INSURANCE. FUCKING. WORKS. We all pay in, so we’ll all be protected if something happens. Even us healthy folk!

To give an example of how this works, let’s say Paul Ryan, satisfied with what a Very Good Job he did in his PowerPoint presentation, decided to head off to the Congressional gym and work out his man body:

He is a very healthy man! He doesn’t want to be paying for all those gross sick people, does he? TAKERS!

WELL, after his workout, let’s say he goes off to the showers and, during self-exploration time, finds a lump on his left nut. Oh no, what is that lump? Distracted by the lump, he slips and falls on a banana Louie Gohmert was eating in the shower, and he breaks his leg! Uh-oh! Now, just an hour ago, Paul Ryan was a healthy man who wasn’t sick. Now he can’t walk and he might have a wee spot of nut cancer, ISN’T HE GLAD HE HAS INSURANCE, NOW THAT HE IS ONE OF THE “SICK PEOPLE”?

Of course, this is a bad example, because Paul Ryan gets his insurance from the gub’mint, like a common welfare queen.

This, by the way, is how all insurance works. Do you know how many millions of people who didn’t even total their cars today will pay their car insurance bills today? And all for those unlucky fucks who DID total their cars today! How is that even fair? (BECAUSE IT COULD BE US TOMORROW.)

Maybe Ryan and the Republicans do understand this, but they’re just greedy and do not like sharing. (Just kidding, not maybe, definitely! Read this weird Ayn Rand thing and thank us later!) If that’s the case, they need to go back to preschool and let us adults of the non-Randian, non-sociopathic variety handle things until they get educated enough to live in civil society, alongside grown-ass humans whose brains aren’t weird.

In summary, fuck you Paul Ryan, right in your healthy, perky bottom.

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[h/t Buzzfeed’s David Mack]

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  • memzilla Ω
  • Nounverb911

    SHorter Ryandoesntcareiftrumpcare:
    1. Don’t get sick

    2. Die quickly if you do?

    • JohnBull

      3. Profit.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Charles P. Pierce bitchslaps Paul Ryan a little:
    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a53748/paul-ryan-insurance/

    Something that, it seems to me, is seldom pointed out is that healthcare is not very well suited to a for profit insurance system. With most kinds of insurance, it is possible to pay premiums all your life without ever making a claim. How many people go their whole life without ever having an expensive health problem? As they get older it becomes a virtual certainty that they will suffer from some sort of illness requiring expensive, possibly long term care. Off the top of my head I can think of one aunt and uncle whose house was destroyed by a tornado back in the sixties, and that is the only instance that comes to mind of a major home insurance claim. The number of family members who have had major health problems, on the other hand, is too numerous to count. Making the health of your citizens dependent on an industry that MUST deny coverage and avoid paying claims in order to maintain their profit margins is simply inhumane. Paul Ryan is an asshole.

    • randomhookup

      Insurance companies make profit by denying coverage … either at the denial of coverage or denial of specific claim level. Avoiding sick people is mega-profitable.

    • yyyaz

      Repeat after me, 320 million times:
      “Healthcare” insurance profits = blood money.
      “Healthcare” insurance profits = blood money.
      “Healthcare” insurance profits = blood money.

    • PerSister Big Puppy

      Charlie Pierce is a national treasure.

  • Nounverb911
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thoughts and prayers, hon. Thoughts and prayers.

      Her stupid smiling face is really testing my commenting rule following.

    • JohnBull

      Well, you kind of fucked us all. With votes.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Credit to the reporters for not just screaming at her, “THIS IS WHAT THEY TOLD YOU WOULD HAPPEN!!!!”

      I’m not sure I could be that professional.

    • Persistent Demme

      Well fuck you very much!

    • therblig
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Too bad she can’t fucking read or think, huh? Fucking nitwit.

    • h4rr4r

      55 and this is the first time she voted?

      Maybe voting is not for her. Too bad she did not keep up her streak.

    • Michael Smith

      Well, let that be a lesson. Next time internet memes tell you who to vote for, are you going to listen?

    • Asterix

      Voted for the first time at 55. Stupid
      Voted for the first time at 55, and voted for Trump. Should never have been allowed to breed.

      I just want to bitch slap this stupid bitch until her head falls off.

      • meanlawyermom

        With votes. ;) That she should never have cast.

    • memzilla Ω
    • goonemeritus

      She can at least say she never once voted for a candidate that wasn’t a conman and a traitor.

    • C4TWOMAN

      The real story is why is this the first time she voted?

      • Werewolf

        Because for the first time a presidential candidate was openly racist. This is what infuriates me about the pundits who claim that thousands of Obama voters voted for Annoying Orange. No-thousands of Nazis and Ku Kluxers from those counties who don’t normally vote were fired up by the naked racism and dog-whistled anti-Semitism of the трамп campaign.

    • calliecallie

      That’s some resting bitch face.

      • arglebargle

        That’s some bitch resting her face.

    • shaar dula

      oh! now you get it?

    • PubOption

      Tom Price doing a dreadful job of answering questions there. He just parrots “We want to make health insurance more affordable and get the government out of your healthcare decisions”, and then goes off on a tangent about employer-provided health insurance costing more.

    • Shibusa
      • data_ninja

        Oooh! I like this one!

    • SadDemInTex

      This makes me stabby

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      — She didn’t vote for 35 of the years in which she was entitled to do so;
      — when she finally voted, she did zero homework on the candidates;
      — and her response to being screwed is “shoulda stayed home” instead of “shoulda voted for the qualified candidate who wanted to HELP me” — ?

      aaaarrrrrRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh

  • wide_stance_hubby

    The problem with him standing there and looking pretty is that he only does one of those things somewhat well and the other, not at all.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    I wonder how Ryan thinks the auto insurance industry would survive if drivers only had to buy insurance after they were in an accident. Goddamn the level of stupidity of these fucking people.

    • efoveks

      Also too: we subsidize “unlucky” drivers, at least here in California. We also have an affordable (car) insurance program for the poors. But we are California– Gov. Moonbeam and all…

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      Not stupidity. Venality. Greed. Callousness. Sociopathy.

  • rocktonsam

    I’ll bet Ryan knows how his health care works

    • Nounverb911

      Paid for by the feds, just like his college education.

  • Nounverb911
    • whitroth

      Hey, that assumes they have one.

  • efoveks

    “How does risk work and what does it have to do with insurance?”

    Dear Paul Ryan,

    Please see– and answer correctly– above before opening your dumbass mouth.

  • therblig

    i hate the fact that my tax dollars pay for police and firefighters when i was neither murdered today nor had my house burn down. UNFAIR!!!!

  • mardam422

    And this guy is the smart one in the Republican caucus?

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      It’s an extremely low bar.

      • C4TWOMAN

        More like a black line painted on the floor.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          On the underside of the floor.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Compared to Trump he is a Rhodes scholar.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        Interesting how we stupid libtards elect actual Rhodes Scholars and Harvard grads … DAMN, I forgot — it’s BAD to know informashinz…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Hey! I hear he can tie his own shoes, like nobody’s business. Sharp!

      • yyyaz

        Yep, sharp as a jelly donut that one is.

  • h4rr4r

    Blue paying for Red is how our whole country works. Nice tax chart about that.

  • memzilla Ω

    Whatever you do, DO NOT CALL IT TRUMPCARE.
    *ahem*
    (imitates ‘Flounder’ in Animal House): “Oh boy, this is gonna be GREAT!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/906ce0fc2ab8d7f971574be5bdfe90bb4bbbe6ed88dc261751dd89c375b7035b.jpg

    • wide_stance_hubby

      TRUMPCARE! TRUMPCARE! TRUMPCARE!

      • shaar dula

        In harmony:
        –TRUMPCARE! TRUMPCARE! TRUMPCARE!

        • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

          #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #TRUMPCARE #pissgate ;)

          • shaar dula

            nice touch

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      If even Donnie can see that this is a big stinking albatross hanging around his corpulent neck…

      • C4TWOMAN

        At least ACA supporters had to savvy to see reclaiming ‘Obamacare’ from the right was a good thing. But that’s probs because ACA actually works.

    • SeeTrain65

      Imagine that. Something he DOESN’T want his name on in big gold letters.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      I call it RUMPCARE becuase I have a giant pain in my ass.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Alrighty then! “Trumpcare” it is!

  • whitroth

    Just remember Ayn Rand lived the last years of her life on social security and Medicare.

    • calliecallie

      Just remember Paul Ryan put himself through college with the social security survivor’s benefits that he got from 16 to 18 after his dad died.

      • Werewolf

        “You’re welcome, dickhead.”
        -Charlie Pierce

  • Reddishrabbit

    I don’t know what X is. Here is plan to fix it!
    Trumpworld

    Hello whiskey, get into my glass!

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I’ll have one with you! *pours shot of Bulleit bourbon* Prosit!

      • Ill_Used_Floppy_Disk

        Earlier this year I was thinking of moderating my alcohol intake (slightly), now I’m thinking about having whiskey on my breakfast cereal, everyday.

  • OrG

    Why would he know how health insurance works? He doesn’t have to deal with shit like that.

    • cmd resistor

      Wingnut brother theory — why should I have to buy health insurance. I take good care of myself. WATCH OUT FOR THAT METEOR THAT IS ABOUT TO FALL ON YOUR HEAD.

      • OrG

        Why can’t I buy insurance after I get sick?

        • PubOption

          And cancel it when you recover?

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        And, his take on car insurance and homeowners’ insurance? Both are mandatory in my state, and I’ve yet to meet anyone people who burn down their house or crash their car just to get their money’s worth.

        • cmd resistor

          Oh, details.

  • Asterix

    That made my brain hurt.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    OK, if the blue people paying for the red people is wrong, man – who does pay for the red people? The red people themselves?

    In what way could that actually be considered coverage or insurance in any meaningful sense?

    It’s “access” – as in – you could access it if you could afford it, but if you can’t, oh well, just die.

    One wonders if a repeal of the 1986 EMTALA law which prevents ER turning anybody away will be in phase two? That’s the only way you can stop the blue people paying anyway, at a much higher rate.

    • Jamoche

      And if the blue people paying for the red people is wrong, can California keep more of its money to fix its bridges and dams instead of building stupid walls?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Young and healthy people are going to go into the market and pay for the older, sicker people.

    Yes, Paul, you’ve got it! That is exactly how insurance pools work. That is why skilled drivers like me, who never get in an accident, pay only a little less for car insurance than people like my wife, who can’t get out of our driveway without hitting another fucking deer.

    • BeachLoafer

      So, um, does your wife read Wonkette?

      • msanthropesmr

        Assume deer ded.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I sure hope not! But she knows what her problem is. She’s working on it.

  • Jamoche

    One second I was perfectly fine, hadn’t touched my insurance in years, next second I had a broken ankle that cost almost as much to fix as a Silicon Valley engineer makes in a year. Yay insurance.

    • chortlingdingo

      What’s shameful is that it costs that much to fix a broken ankle.

      • Jamoche

        There was surgery and metal plates. It makes TSA fun.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Mercedes and Rolexes don’t pay for themselves…

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        And part of that (one estimate is 25%) is due to yoooge administrative costs — lots of for-profit insurers, and more office-staff-per-physician to deal with those myriad companies.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m blaming all injuries I incur on entering or exiting my vehicle so my auto insurance covers it.

    • PubOption

      My annual insurance claims never exceeded my annual premiums until I fell off my bike and broke my wrist.

  • SeeTrain65

    Anyone from around Columbus back me up.

    There’s a weatherman in Columbus whose promo is a compatriot at his stations saying “When (name omitted) takes his jacket off and rolls up his sleeves …”

    That’s usually the point my brother and I MST3K it with something like “you know he’s just pitted his only clean dress shirt.”

    Ryan with his sleeves rolled up is even more of a clown that that weatherman.

    • Doug Langley

      Can’t confirm, but then I don’t watch much TV. I get my weather from a website.

      (On a related note, wanna get together sometime?)

      • SeeTrain65

        Honestly, Doug, I don’t get out much. Poverty, unemployment and a lack of transportation don’t help much either.

        Also, here, I’m relatively vocal and only mildly humorous. In the flesh, I am magnificently BORING company.

        But thanks for the offer.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I really think Dems need to work on messaging that educates people that health care is different from health insurance. Access to health care without going bankrupt is what we should think of as a right, health insurance is just the system we have for pooling risk to pay for that care right now.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Please run for Congress/Pundit/Twitter star

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      That’s already too much nuance for 50% of the country.

    • BeachBum

      Start with just insurance. Then health care. Then what health care providers actually charge for stuff. THEN health care insurance. Baby steps.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Private email server

  • goonemeritus

    I also think it’s very unfair to make young people donate to Social Security and Medicaid shouldn’t only retired people pay?

    • BeachBum

      Grate Idea ! Cause of course young people are never gonna get old or sick.

  • cmd resistor
  • Susan Szews

    Uh…how…how did Paul Ryan *think* health care worked? I’m serious. Because I’ve known that’s how insurance worked since forever, and I’m 43. That’s how social security works too, and that’s why it’s fuxxorred, right? Because we’ve got too many boomers retiring currently and not enough kiddos paying into the system growing up now, so they’re going to be seriously screwed when they get old?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Actually, SS isn’t “fuxxored.” It will require adjustments in the future, whether that means paying lower benefits to all, paying lower benefits to the retired wealthy, or collecting more from the currently employed in various percentages. But it’s a durable system that can (and must) be tuned to keep it going.

      The easiest solution, as always, is “make the rich pay a tiny bit more during their earning years.”

      (Edit: OK Callie’s simultaneously typed explanation was better, but mine was pithier. I pride myself on the pithiness.)

    • calliecallie

      This is another topic that needs Democratic talking points, STAT! Social security is not going “broke.” At some point in the future it may not be able to meet 100% of its obligations, but that is not the same as “broke.” And it’s EASILY fixed, don’t let the repugs tell you otherwise. You don’t even have to change the RATE of the tax, just the CAP.

      Currently what you pay into social security is capped at an income level of $180,000. If you make more than that, you don’t pay social security taxes on anything over that. My guess is your employer doesn’t either. All they have to do is raise the cap to, say $250,000 per year, or whatever magic number allows it to meet 100% of its obligations at that point in the future and – voila! – problem solved.

      Please do not blame the boomers. We are not trying to break the system. We did not ask to all be born at the same time after a great post-war sexxxytimes. Some of us don’t even like it that it’s been so crowded our whole lives. And we want our children to get social security some day too. It’s a good system.

      (PS I’ve been feeling a lot of “boomer shaming” lately. Is this because of Trump? Or Bernie? I don’t care for it. I get enough feminist shaming, I don’t need more.)

      • BeachLoafer

        I think you transposed some numbers, SS cap is $118k-ish.

        As someone who’s been over the cap for years, I say remove it altogether – I do NOT feel it’s an imposition on me to pay a higher percentage of my income in taxes so that less fortunate people can afford to feed their kids.

        Then again, I think my income tax rate should be higher too, so maybe I’m just fucking nuts 😜

        • calliecallie

          Even better! Thanks for the correction!

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          You’re in good company. In 1937, the tax rate for Carole Lombard — earning $450K, which was 5x the president’s salary and which made her the highest-paid actor in Hollywood — was about 80%; she said, “Every cent anybody pays in taxes is spent to benefit him. There’s no better place to spend it. I enjoy this country and really think I get my money’s worth.”

    • Lord Jim

      “how did Paul Ryan *think*”

      I believed I’ve identified your problem.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Odd, I’m New Yorker from California and I feel like my taxes go to pay people in Mississippi. Maybe those people need to be in a special separate pool from us healthy states.

    Clearly not serious since I’m a bleeding heart liberal who wants all people to have health care as a human right. Silly me.

    • BeachBum

      Ya know, mebee we should rethink the Confederacy thing all over agin. They do have their own flag already.

    • calliecallie

      Yes, really my tax dollars provide FEMA help to all those lousy takers in the southern red states who can’t get out of the way of a tornado or a hurricane. Tornados happen once in a while where I’m from, but never hurricanes, and none them ever hit me. Maybe those tornado alley folks should have their own special FEMA tax pool.

  • laughingnome

    Is ignorance a pre-existing condition?

    • Jamoche

      Yes, but it’s curable with effort. Stupidity, now, that sticks.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        See Gohmert, Louie.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      For Republicans it seems to be. Perhaps a “chronic condition” is a better way to put it.

      • shaar dula

        pre-requisite condition

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          Hypocrisy is an associated condition.

      • kev

        more like an acquired taste, if you ask me.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Core Value.

    • puredog

      feature not bug

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Headinassitis

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Which doesn’t have to be fatal, boy is it stubborn!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Well, he got one thing right. The Blue people pay for the Red people and it’s making us sick.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I should at least get a bottle of free whiskey! I feel like I’m keeping Kentucky in the black.

      • kev

        Keep up the good work.

  • C4TWOMAN

    “In summary, fuck you Paul Ryan, right in your healthy, perky bottom.”

    I see Wonkette’s going into lite erotica now….

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Have you seen the post about Woody Cane Kaine yet?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Ah yup. We’re definitely moving into NWFS territory…

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Give Chuck Tingle a few hours…

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Appropriate, since Trumpcare is basically snuff porn for Republicans.

  • Lulu Mac
    • Jennaratrix

      Actually, that’s EXACTLY how insurance works, and Ry-Guy’s explanation of why that’s a “fatal conceit” (which, by the way, I do not think that means what he thinks it means) of “Obamacar” shows his mind more than he probably meant to. We already pretty much knew that his goal was to benefit his rich buddies while fucking over the rest of us, and his little presentation just proved it. He doesn’t believe in insurance; he doesn’t believe in risk management. He doesn’t believe we have any responsibility to each other, and he certainly doesn’t think the government has any responsibility toward the citizens. Which is weird, because that’s exactly what government is supposed to be. Not to them; to them it’s just a grifting op.

  • msanthropesmr

    He should be gigged for using a PowerPoint presentation.

    • Jennaratrix

      Oh honey. The gov’t LOVES THEM SOME POWERPOINT. I call the Army the PowerPoint Rangers. It’s a little scary how much they love it.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Protected not just IF sonething happens, protected WHEN it almost certainly does happen, unless you’re lucky enough to be a dipshit House speaker who gets run over by a bus, shivved by the very voters he’s trying to fuck, and dumped in the river with 3 cinder blocks tied on to make sure it was a clean kill.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      You forgot the wooden stake through the heart and the silver bullet. It will just come back if you don’t use those, too.

      • yyyaz

        Just ask the hit team Tsar Nick sent after Rasputin.

      • Jennaratrix

        Gotta cut off the head. And salt and burn the remains. Do NONE of you watch Supernatural?!?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Good point. I forgot about those necessary steps. It’s not like I do that sort of thing every day. (But that might have to change.)

          Over the past ten years, I average about 2 minutes of TV per day.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        You’re right. AOT,K

  • Chadwells

    Prestige Worldwide presentation….

  • Vincent Ricola

    I wish they’d stop calling it “healthcare reform” and start calling it “a blowjob full of tax breaks for the rich built on ignoring the needs of the American people.”

    Paul Ryan can suck a vote-infected dick.

    • Ricky Gay

      he does, has, and thank you sir may he have another.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    The House Ways And Means committee spent 18 hours in session and passed their side of the bill out of committee at around 4:30am.
    The other committee, Energy and Commerce, held a 27-hour marathon session just to pass the bill out of committee.
    So, please Mr. Speaker. Tell me again how this bill is what Americans want instead of what you and your dipshit rich buddies want.

  • Michael Smith

    Well, I’d say this fits in well with the GOP’s general philosophy, which is that government benefits are to be given only to those who don’t need them.

  • laughingnome

    I think I see the problem. The word healthcare has care in it and the Republicans don’t.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Quick. Someone ‘shop him up as a juggalo.
    “Insurance. How the fuck does that work?”

  • Anna Rompage

    My sweetie was diagnosed with breast cancer about a year and a half ago…

    If it wasn’t for the healthy people putting money into the insurance pool that everyone uses, and we had to essentially pay out of pocket for her treatment, we would be staring down stage 4 breast cancer right now, and maybe another year of life for her due to not being able to afford the treatments…

    Just the immune booster that they give you after a chemo treatment is $12,000 a shot. She had 10 of those….

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I hope her recovery is going well.

      • Anna Rompage

        It’s going great actually! We’re coming up on a year since her last chemo treatment and she has a clean bill of health!

        The meds she has to take for the next few years have some minor, sucky side effects that are not so great, but those are much better than to be staring death in the face!

        • wide_stance_hubby

          So good to know! Been there with my sweetie and now with my dad (second bout of lung cancer, but immunotherapy has stopped the tumor’s growth for now).

          • Anna Rompage

            It’s good to hear the treatments are keeping things at bay with your dad!

            It’s pretty amazing at the advances they’ve made over the last 2 decades in regards to treatments!

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Indeed. Dad’s cancer is the same type (and location) as what killed my mom 25 years ago (an oddity nor lost on him, either).

    • OrG

      Not to be crass,but good thing it happened a year and a half ago and not a year and a half in the future.

      • Anna Rompage

        This is true and not crass at all.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I’m not sure how I feel about how I feel about thinking about his malignant nut, but it is not nice.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Um, can I wish that a large rodents bites said nut off, relieving him of the problem altogether? (with votes, I guess)

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Certainly not for me to judge.

    • kev

      take joy in the thought that even the assholes born on third base but who act as though they hit a triple are also susceptible to the fickle finger of fate.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I have more definition in my calves than that asshole and I is a gurl and an oldz.

    • yyyaz

      I’m 63 and gnarly, and mine would make him cry.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Same here. Last job where I worked in an office, one of my female co-workers mentioned that I had ‘cut’ calves and forearms. Which… I do, I’m just surprised when people notice.

      • kev

        where do you live? I could be made to cry.

    • kev

      girls are supposed to have nice calves. it’s WAY more important than thin thighs.

      sincerely,

      A. Guy

  • Reddishrabbit
  • TJ Barke

    Can I just strangle, like, all the republicans, starting with Ryan?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      With votes. Just 87 weeks until midterms.

      • TJ Barke

        I dunno if I trust the voters now that fanta hitler has been elected.

  • Scrofula

    Whose idea was it for that old photo shoot, his or Time mag? Either way, I hope it haunts him.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Why can’t those ancient 40-something women just decide not to have breast cancer?

    • Vincent Ricola

      “Healthcare choice

    • Thaumaturgist

      Why can’t these 20-something women just decide not to have babies with birth defects?

      • Crystalclear12

        Or babies at all!

      • h4rr4r

        Well, you see they actually in some cases can. Republicans however also want to take that choice away.

    • arglebargle

      Just shut that whole thing down.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So I was reading Raymond Chandler of all people and found this. The context is Marlowe being hassled by a couple of cops, but it could just as easily be put onto a protest sign against this “alt-truth” law-n-order administration:

    “Until you guys own your own souls you don’t own mine. Until you guys can be trusted every time and always, in all times and conditions, to seek the truth out and find it and let the chips fall where they may – until that time comes, I have a right to listen to my own conscience.”

  • Nounverb911
  • anon_the_great

    Hush, hush Little Pauly. You are far too beautiful for this world.

  • JoeChristmas

    Access! Freedom!! Choice!!1! Competition!11!!

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    “If YOU PEOPLE would just stop getting sick, this will work fine! Period!”

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Ryan-Care-Screwed.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Crystalclear12

    Here in Missouri the Republicans pushed thru a law requiring everyone to have car insurance. Why wasn’t that overreach? Hmmmm

    • Crank Tango

      Repeal Obamacar!

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      Obama’s……er…..Hillary’s fault!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SCOURGE OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AMONG COLLEGE STUDENTS?

  • Crank Tango

    They’ll get around to replacing Nobamacare on leg day.

    • Doug Langley

      Whew! That gives us a long wait!

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    That red hat needs a little propeller on top.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      So long as there is a big lightning rod on that hat along with the propeller.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well…it IS a big money saver!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3q8aalWMAEh7qn.jpg

    • OrdinaryJoe

      You get a coupon for a pine box. If you want more don’t buy that iPhone.

      • puredog

        I think you must be looking at an earlier draft. The presently-proposed coupon will be for a cardboard box. Pine is an upgrade.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The whole idea of Obamacare is the people in the blue side pay for the people on the red side. The people who are healthy pay for the people who are sick.

    And since they do so knowing that under Obamacare, the healthy will have their healthcare available to them when they get sick, what’s your point, asshole?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e624b19e4e3b494cb0dd3f822170abd1ee2d3a64b2c49b6db5536dea2077015a.gif

    • Nounverb911

      Just like the blue states support the red states….

    • Jennaratrix

      Well, it IS a path to prosperity – for a very select few.

  • Nounverb911
  • Doug Langley

    I understand Mr Ryan is a fan of Ayn Rand. Well, I keep having flashbacks to a scene in Atlas Shruged. There’s a little girl (she’s ugly, of course) who gets dental braces as part of a health plan. So she didn’t pay directly for the braces. Along comes a worker, who is just crushed in alcoholism cuz he has to work such long hours and pay so much into things like health plans for other people. He sees the girl, punches her in the mouth, and knocks out every single tooth.

    Quick quiz: guess which character Rand is rooting for?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Ayn Rand also has a tenuous grap on reality.

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        To be fair, she wasn’t trying to hold onto reality at all.

      • Had, thankfully.

    • The guy who owns the company that makes dentures for kids?

      • Anna Rompage

        The guy who owns the company that makes dentures for the kids of the rich folks, who can afford to pay out of pocket for such things?

      • Doug Langley

        Um, that brings me to another scene in Atlas. A doctor is explaining why he withdraws from society once the “moochers” took over and forced healthcare down everyone’s throats. He says “I wonder at the smugness with which they attempt to control me, enslave me, dictate my choices – yet what do they expect to depend on when they lie on a table under my hands?”

        Seriously.

        EDIT: this really should be the reply to LF Ron’s post. No dentist/doctor in his right mind would ever give his sanction to anything so obviously reeking of welfare state/socialism/labor camps etc.

        • Wild Cat

          1000 upvotes for having the courage to read that pile of feces.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I always figured all of them just read it for the rape scene.

          • Doug Langley

            Sorry, you’re thinking of The Fountainhead. Not as preachy or pretentious, but still pretty out-there.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Huh. I could have sworn that there was a taking Dagny in a masterful way because only cucks ask thing.

          • TheBoatDude

            In AS she goes along with it…Fountainhead it’s rape, but he’s the good guy, so it’s OK*
            *Not really

          • Carpe Vagenda

            The whole ubermensch me see woman, me take thing is not my brand of stroke material, although pretty funny when you figure that Rand had to terrorize unwilling grad students into having sex with her while her husband drank himself to death.

        • yyyaz

          There are so many presumptions and straw men in that one paragraph my synapses refuse to engage in a protracted refutation that will serve no purpose other than to enrage “believers.”

        • TheBoatDude

          “I became a doctor to help me! Not you people!”

      • Wild Cat

        She did write an infamous essay in honor of a kidnapper/child murderer.
        She was psychotic.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      The dentist?

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        Aaaaaaand now coffee’s on the display again. thanks!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Like his heroine (or is that heroin?) he was more than happy to mooch off Social Security checks when HE needed the money. Do as I say and ignore what I do. The mantra of all people who call themselves “conservatives”. They are just takers who rationalize it as they are doing us a favor when they take our gubbermint monies.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I read Atlas Took a Shit about twenty years ago. I don’t remember that part but it does not surprise me. I even got sucked into the objectivism thing for a while. Then, I decided that I wasn’t getting any younger and that I should have a life instead. Thusly, my AynRandianism faded away, thank doG. Looking back, all I can say is this, “What the actual fuck was I thinking?”

      Ayn fucking Rand’s sick infected stinking oozing mucosy fecal-matter-in-print is such unmitigated bullshit that I still feel deeply ashamed of myself for being rubed by all that dreck. Live and learn.

      Oh, and Rand is rooting for the readers who get sucked into her fetid stool.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Being young and stupid happens, it’s how quickly you evolve out of it that matters. For instance, I thought Joseph Campbell was a good philosopher when I was a young.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        Thirty-five years later, I am so glad that I merely bought AS and TheF (bc I thought I should read ’em) but was too put off by their length to akshully do so.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    That’s Mr. Dumbass to you!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Wild Cat

      Well, I have great healthcare, and damn, I’m gonna live long and vibrant enough to shit on their graves.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Why do simpletons insist there’s a simple solution to every problem?

    • Jamoche

      Simple, obvious, and wrong.

    • ViveLaPersistence

      And right after their very own preznit of this here US Murka even said “Nobody knew health care could be complicated!”

    • PubOption

      Because idiot politicians tell them that there is.

    • yyyaz

      Because all they have to do be an Einstein is own an iPhone and read their Facebork feed.

  • Jenny

    Evan, it is time for an eye exam! There is nothing remotely attractive about Paul Ryan!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Not even.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • yyyaz

      Tea Party = malfunctioning clock: registers correct time once since cobbled together with twigs and snot.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So essentially – no, strike that, not essentially, but literally – Paul Ryan is arguing for a Russian roulette (Russians again!) form of health insurance for young people, that they not have to pay for those sick old people because they themselves are statistically less likely to need catastrophic care. BUT: if the bullet is in the chamber when their time comes – via accident, sudden serious illness, terrible infection, etc. – then they’re screwed.

    • OrG

      Old Skool.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      They’re pitching a one- or two-year game in a system that needs to cover people for an 80 year life. Fuck.

      • yyyaz

        Good thing we aren’t South Korea, where life expectancy is now 90. USA! USA! Leading the league of civilized nations in the downward spiral of every measurable metric for quality of life.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And also too life expectancy, I think

      • BeachBum

        ” (gravely voice) Give ’em the heater Ricky ! “

  • Thaumaturgist

    I has a confession to make. I’m transitioning from Blue to Red.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh dear. What bathroom will you use?

      • Thaumaturgist

        Under the Ryan plan, I’ll have the freedom to choose any bathroom I can afford, even if I have to cross a state line to find one.

        • cmd resistor

          Maybe they will bring back those scary bathrooms they had in rest areas when I was a kid, which were basically wooden outhouses over large holes. Used to scare me to death to use them. But they were rustic, which seems to go along with all this health shit.

          • yyyaz

            Where are these “rest areas” you speak of? They have all disappeared out here in the FreeDumb states.

          • cmd resistor

            This was maybe 50 years ago. We always stopped at them to eat boring lunch on family trips between Florida and Wisconsin. They had picnic tables and those bathrooms. Probably places mostly like Kentucky, Tennessee?

          • TheBoatDude

            Where do your senators meet their hook ups, then?

    • Wild Cat

      But will it make your brown eyes blue?

      • TheBoatDude

        Only donuts will do that…

  • Zonath

    We know everyone hates the Individual Mandate, so we’re going to do the exact opposite of it: Instead of making sure everyone buys insurance, we’re going to make sure that nobody can afford to buy insurance. This will fix healthcare once and for all.

    • TheBoatDude

      And if you don’t use condoms, they can’t break! See? Soblem: Prolved.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Wild Cat

    Paul Ryan is an Ugly Man’s theory of what a Handsome Man looks like.
    And his soul smells like his asshole.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Having the GOP making policy on a collective, redistributive concept like insurance pools is like hiring an acrophobic as your airplane pilot.

    • h4rr4r

      I am sick of these motherfucking spiders on this motherfucking plane!

      • cmd resistor

        I am sick of these motherfucking republicans.

        • yyyaz

          Motherfucking, fatherfucking, brother-and-sisterfucking, goatfucking …

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Everybodybutthemfucking bastids!

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        Spider libelz.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Professor Lyin’ boils it all down:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C6ftBI_WMAALCnz.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    And he is considered their smart one.
    There, in a nutshell, is what’s wrong with our government.

    • Anna Rompage

      I like to say “no wonder the republicans feel that big govt is a train wreck. The people they vote into office couldn’t legislate their way out of a paper bag.”

      • Thaumaturgist

        The simple solution is to make paper bags illegal. But that would only hurt the consumer.

        • Anna Rompage

          Reusabe PBS canvas tote bags?

          • Thaumaturgist

            No good. Republicans wouldn’t be able to legislate their way out of a canvas PBS tote bag either.

          • Anna Rompage

            I’ve got an extra plastic dry cleaning bag laying around somewhere….

            I know it says not to let children play with it, but can’t we make an exception just this once?….

          • BeachBum

            I think it would burn their skin off. Like holy water on a demon. Worth a try though.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    While the chart certainly presents an ignoramus’ version of risk pools, its real purpose is to play to the rubes’ belief that “good guys in red” pay for the “takers in blue.” Fox ViewersPeople will draw the desired conclusion.

    • shivaskeeper

      Got it on one. This is very deliberately crafted message. It will find its target with the desired audience and become part of what they believe as absolute fact.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      From https://newrepublic.com/article/140948/bluexit-blue-states-exit-trump-red-america

      Truth is, you red states just haven’t been pulling your weight. Not for, well, forever. Red states are nearly twice as dependent on the federal government as blue states. Of the twelve states that received the least federal aid in return for each tax dollar they contribute to the U.S. Treasury, ten of them voted for Hillary Clinton—and the other two were Michigan and Wisconsin, your newest recruits. By the same count, 20 of the 26 states most dependent on federal aid went to Trump.

  • Jamoche
  • Bill D. Burger
    • PubOption

      Boing, cuckoo, boing, cuckoo…

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Call me an emotional mess. But watching that Ryan clip actually made me cry. Seriously. Right now in Th Netherlands we have a discussion whether or not it’s fair that we accept everyone who needs care to have a small “own risk” meaning that after standard healthcare anyone needing more than that needs to cough up 380 euro’s to keep care affordable.At the same time in the US people are denied healthcare if they cannot cough up 380 dollars monthly. PER PERSON.

    • Wild Cat

      What city do you live in?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        The Hague. For al the rest: Are you fucking kidding me? healthcare in europe costs about 90 per month per person, children for free.

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          God forbid any GOP leader should look to European nations that have been doing this for a long time, AND SUCCESSFULLY, for pointers.

    • h4rr4r

      $380/month would be very cheap insurance.

      Such a low cost plan would have a deductible likely in the thousands of dollars. In case you don’t know what that is, the deductible is how much you pay before insurance pays. After you pay that, then the insurance covers maybe 80% until you reach the maximum out of pocket. Only after that do they cover all the cost.

      The year my son was born, we hit the maximum out of pocket within a month of his birth. It was a normal hospital birth, with no complications and he only needed to see one specialist who just did an ekg and confirmed a minor heart murmur that he has since grown out of.

      • ViveLaPersistence

        Indeed.

      • shivaskeeper

        Beat me too it.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Absurd.

        • yyyaz

          Yep. That is the least pejorative term to describe the disease that is now the Republican Party.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      $500-$1000/month for healthy 50-somethings

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Try doubling that. My employer pays in as well.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      Wen I was laid off (in the US, Nov. 2008), I was eligible to stay on my employer’s health plan for 18 months, as long as I paid the full premium (employer contribution had been 50%). Insurance would’ve cost me $600 month. My rent (low for my city) was $1000/month, and my unemployment bennies were $1600/month.
      ….. Houston, we have a problem.
      ….. And then I got sick, and had no insurance, and bc unwell couldn’t re-enter the workforce FT — and with my 401(K) a lordly $20K, I wasn’t eligible for any state assistance, not even short-term, not even some medical care to help me re-become a fully employed, contributing member of society.
      …. Murka is great! Best country in the wold! Except for all those others!

      I often use a dental analogy: Not one of those shit GOPs would neglect a cavity ($150) to the point where the tooth rotted away and was lost (or needed to be replaced with a $3000 implant). But that’s what they’re fucking doing to millions of people in this nation, by refusing to fund education and safety-net programs that would create a strong, self-sufficient, and (GASP) relatively content citizens. Neglect a small problem and it becomes a crisis — and they do not fucking care.
      ….. This is why I hope for massive trauma for each of them, because it seems to be the only way for them to develop empathy. Oh, and I feel fucking spiteful as well.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Talk about fucking SHEOPLE. Repukes are loyal to their party right up to handing their “leaders” the rope that will be used to hang their Trumpanzee asses.

    https://twitter.com/ThePlumLineGS/status/839196555269767168

    • Wild Cat

      Plan B: Transform The Great Dictator into an actual lemming . . .

    • h4rr4r

      Wow, look at what education does to those numbers.

    • shivaskeeper

      Doubling down on the derp. It’s either that or admit they could have made a mistake.

      I think we all know which one they are going to go with.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      WTF is wrong with people? Believe Liar McLyingPants over the free press? A man who’s told more lies in 10 seconds than any other human being ever in history? And they say we’re the sheep :(

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      It’s the “sunk cost” fallacy. People are hard-wired not to admit when they made a mistake, at least not immediately. They just realized they took a bite of Moose Turd Pie, and their reaction is “It’s good, though.”

      • yyyaz

        What do they do 20 minutes later when, not if, they enter the early stages of fatal moose-turditis?

    • Cliff Hendroval

      He’s sticking it to the libtards, and that’s all his fans care about.

  • Crystalclear12

    Because no one moves from the blue group to the red group, right?
    If he is that short sighted I don’t he should be allowed behind the wheel of a car.

    • Anna Rompage

      I was a fit, healthy 29 year old who was active, and had never had a need for insurance in my adult life, until I had a massive herniation in one of the discs in my back and had to have back surgery to repair the damage…

      My sweetie is healthy, fit, did pretty much everything right in her life, never need to use insurance for more than an ear infection & annual check ups. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 43…

      • Crystalclear12

        Life keeps happening whether we are ready or not. I have several preexisting conditions that pretty much trap me in my current job.

        • Anna Rompage

          Yep…. It’s that way for lots of folks

    • cmd resistor

      If these people are fortunate enough to have never gotten sick, don’t they even have relatives who did?

      • Crystalclear12

        Well, in their defense, usually their heads are so far up their own ass that can’t keep track of others.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, and a lot of them would turn on their families, too.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Manhattan123

    The Who’s-Got-The-Most-Punchable-Face-in-Washington contest just gets more difficult every day.

  • shaar dula

    Generic Trumpcare Rx.
    3x idealogy 1000 mg (oral or suppository, preferably suppository)
    Avoid reality or reason. Dont strain eyes or brains. Avoid reading. Watch Fox news.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    Ramsay Snow is feeding all of us to his dogs indeed.

    • efoveks

      GOT reference! Extra points!

  • veska

    As one if the poors who will be massively affected by TrumpDon’tCare, I hope Paul Ryan gets hit by a bus (with votes).

    • Manhattan123

      Nope. An 86th Street crosstown racing to make the light at Lexington. He would be a smudge on the front bumper.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        Nope. No quick “out.” Lifetime in a wheelchair. Karma’s a bitch, and he has spent his “professional life” — launched by a SS-funded BA — shredding the lives of people who are already struggling. Fuck him. He deserves the very worst that money can buy.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    So nice of these guys with some of the BEST health insurance to tell us regular folk how we should take care of ourselves. Didn’t he just say “nanny state” the other day? Kinda sounds like that to me, pal.

    • efoveks

      He lives in one, but then again, whoever discovered water certainly wasn’t a fish, and as far as fish go, Paul Ryan is truly stoopad.

  • efoveks

    So Paul Ryan, what is your insurance plan and are you happy with it? If “yes” to both– and that is undoubtedly true if you answer honestly– how bout making it available to ALL Americans? After all, we pay for yours.

    • shivaskeeper

      That’s crazy talk. He gets the government Cadillac plan because he’s a winner. You ate just jealous that he has been on the government tit, well, since forever really. He’s earned that plan and all the other benefits that go along with it by virtue of being just flat out better than the rest of us.

      It’s all pretty obvious once you really think about it.

      • efoveks

        Who knew “public service” really IS supposed to be synonymous with “parasitic lifestyle”????

        • shivaskeeper

          He does. See what he’s really doing is trying to bring the whole system down. He needs to be able to stay healthy so he can continue to work on it. Once everyone else had been thrown to the wolves to fend for themselves, he’ll give up his current plan. I just know he will. He’s a stand up guy like that.

          Fuck me, I fell like I need a shower after typing that.

      • puredog

        Hm, sounds legit.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Oh, of COURSE he knows how insurance works. He’s just counting on the fact that most GOP voters don’t.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Insurance works for him, after all, thats all that is important to him.

  • kev

    I read most of the Ayn Rand/Alternet link and it brought back horrible memories of what I was like at 19 years old and thinking that awful woman had something meaningful to say about how we should live our lives. Undiluted selfishness as a life philosophy is something most of us outgrow in our teens (if not before). Paul Ryan and his ilk are textbook cases of arrested development.

    • Jamoche

      “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.” – John Rogers

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I never tire of that passage.

      • kev

        absolutely love that quote!

    • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

      One of my good friends from college recommended Atlas Shrugged to me. At the time I didn’t know who Ayn Rand was and didn’t know anything about her philosophy, but once I found out my opinions of said friend definitely shifted

      • Lefty Frizzell

        For something truly painful try Terry Goodkind’s Faith of the Fallen sword’n’sorcery reworking of The Fountainhead. I don’t recall having read anything else so dire.

      • Cock Blockula

        It has a reputation with English majors as being one of the worst books ever written. A college roommate tried to read it and gave up after she got 20 or so pages in. “Pure dreck” was the phrase she used to describe it.

        • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

          It’s extra funny that I didn’t know what it was, considering I was an English major. I guess I surrounded myself with enough hippie commies who just wanted to smoke pot and play board games that I was protected from all the Randholes.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I fortunately didn’t read it until after college and I was, like, “What IS this bullshit?”

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        I was pushing 40 by the time I got to it. It took me forever to finish, because I couldn’t read more than a page per night of that horrible monologue in “This Is John Galt”

        ETA: and the scotch didn’t help, either.

        • TheBoatDude

          I skipped over the 17 3-hour speeches saying that everyone’s an asshole except them…

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I agree with the others, it’s utter bullshit. But to me the even more egregious sin is that her sex scenes were NOT sexy. Just horribly written.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      I was a teen-aged Randroid. I was also a College Republican during my first semester. I gave both of those up roughly the time I first got laid.

      • That seems to cure a lot of stupid personality traits…

      • kev

        another late bloomer I see.

      • TheBoatDude

        It does take the edge off…

  • shaar dula

    Mr. Ryan.
    I watched your presentation with great interest. Do you promise to forgo your tax-payer sponsored health plan and instead get insured according to the terms and conditions of your own plan? Will you please also ask your extended family to do so.

    Sincerely,
    concerned citizen.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Ryan, with his sleeves rolled up tryin’ to look like that “cool perfesser” who makes jokes and is still young and sometimes has sex with a handful of the best students in the class

    Sigh, under Title IX I am a mandatory reporter. I will have to report this so Wonkette U. can contact Ayn Rand to see if she’d like to file an investigation.

    • Raan

      He’s like Prof. Henry Jones, but without the class-cancelling, Nazi-punching adventure! Or the intelligence.

      Or charm.

      Or wit.

      Or accountability to a higher authority.

      Come to think of it, he’s nothing like Indy.

  • Teecha

    I read an article by a comic who has CF. She’s also a campaigner for health and disabled people’s rights.
    She says of the rest of us – ‘not yet disabled, not yet ill’ It may never be the same as CF or motor neurone disease or anything as big name as that, but every single one of us who is fortunate to live to old age will find that our bodies don’t work like they used to and we will need care and support and medical attention. It is supremely short sighted to not organise society to take account of this and make life easier for all our eventual medical and social needs.

    • efoveks

      Also took: preventative medicine works. If you want to contain costs, start with preventative medicine.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      OMG, I nearly have a breakdown every time I think about cystic fibrosis. It is an evil disease that I want to see wiped from this planet.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Ryan needs to label one side of his graph “25 year old doesn’t need anything” and the other side “15 year old needs a double lung transplant”

      • Teecha

        A uni chum of my bestest friend had CF. She died at 21- finished her degree but didn’t make it to graduation. She was a prolific shoplifter. On the grounds that ‘fuck life’ and ‘fine, send me to prison. Is that the worst option for me?’
        She was a fab woman and I’m sad I only met her twice.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      How many people are healthy all their lives until suddenly dying quickly and inexpensively? Not very goddamn many.

      • Teecha

        Moar guns?

        • Lord Jim

          The REAL health plan.

      • TheBoatDude

        Those with motorcycles and bad judgement…

  • BeachBum

    Republican’s plan is only for todays politics, what they can grab while in control, or at the most, before voters wise up. Healthy people will never get sick. Young people will never get old. Insurance doesn’t work like that. Countries that succeed don’t do that. The ultimate shortsightedness. Good government solves problems so future generations will be better off.

  • CATMAN

    It really pisses me off to listen to those empty talking heads on TV who never purchased health insurance on the individual market–I did for 25 years–pontificate on the evils of the ACA when they never had to deal with with soaring costs and a pre-existing condition

    • efoveks

      How DARE you speak from personal experience! ;)

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Yeah, personal experience totally doesn’t count.

        • CATMAN

          I really love those clowns on FOX who obviously get great health coverage from Rupert or the Congresscritters who have excellent coverage at taxpayers expense

          • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

            Almost as infuriating as smug, middle aged white males inveighing against abortion and Planned Parenthood. Listen asshole – when you can get pregnant or develop ovarian cancer, you get to express an opinion. Until then, shut the fuck up.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Anecdotal at best, right?

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Totally biased.

    • shaar dula

      precisely. Ryan should be asked if he pledges to forgo his tax-payer sponsored plan and promises to buy insurance according to his own plan for the rest of his life.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        No. That his kids have to do it without a hand from anyone in the family.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I remember when pregnancy was a pre-existing condition.

    • shivaskeeper

      But they know things. They know all about how it works because they do. Especially Ryan, who has never not been on the government dole.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Ryan cain’t be a perfesser, because he’s only got a BS. Also, he used to drive the Weinermobile. True story.

    • Lulu Mac

      Is it wrong that I think that’s kinda cool and I wish I could drive the weinermobile?

      • The Flaming Carrot

        I always wanted to drive the Carrot Car, a similar vehicle that was used for parades in Bloomington, Indiana.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Frankly, it’s the only cool thing about him.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        He gets to do whatever the hell he wants. He’s like the kid that ate all the marshmallows out of the box of Lucky Charms.
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db0aa5bf9781923c3c4b5c2464475b4fbabf99dc4c5568d44f6744d5224e42f3.jpg

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        True thing: the weinermobile drivers used to have an annual party at a restaurant where I worked, they called themselves “The Hot Doggers” and drank like fish. Oscar Meyer closed the plant last year and the only thing left in that parking lot is one lonely weinermobile. Sad.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And well also too he is one

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Blackest Noobs

    goddamn it Martians…when you fucking green-blooded mutherfucker gone blow up Congress, damnit!!!!

    -brought to by the Mars-First Council.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      I’ve gotten a lot of use out of this lately:

      https://youtu.be/jZO6pIhQEbo

    • Doug Langley

      You need to speak to the Mars Bar about that.

      • Blackest Noobs

        yeah they need to bring that bar effing back. even though i don’t really care for candy anymore..but still..bring that shit back!

  • Bill Slider

    At least he got the part right about how people on the blue side pay for the people on the red side.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The irony escapes him.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    So, while I was shitting out my insides these last few days (Yup, stomach bug) I heard little Paul Ryan toddled out and made a bitch that got booed and rotten tomatoes thrown at him.

    This pleases me.

    • BosGrl

      Hope you’re feeling better!

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Shakey and sore, but much better now, thanks. :-)

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Say, you know who ELSE makes the young, healthy people pay for the oldz and poorz?

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Is this some kind of slavery reference?

    • The world’s fourth strangest brothel?

    • Lord Jim

      King Minos?

    • Doug Langley

      The Night Strangler?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I seriously thought someone might say “social security.”

        • Doug Langley

          I was referring to the TV movie where Kolchak tracks down a killer who’s draining young girls of their blood to make an immortality elixir for himself.

  • Anna Rompage
  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    I can’t see the pic of Workout Ryan without thinking about this:

    https://youtu.be/AltMeuPkWRs

  • boyblue122

    If these people in congress like Ryan werent politicians the only thing theyd be “qualified” to do is try to make a couple dollars off Bernie Madoff-type ponzi schemes

  • JoeChristmas

    If only there was proven plan that would cut costs in half — for every motherfucking American — and deliver better outcomes.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Don’t say it! Don’t say it! It’s un-Murkin!

    • snark-lurker

      But think of the insurance companys! All those stockholders, C.O.s, and all the Little People who work there.

      • JoeChristmas

        Then maybe they would have some real “competition.”

  • Chadwells

    OT: They didn’t “mock” a man with cancer, you fucking halfwits. It was completely fucking inadvertent while they were mocking the Nazi haircut. Get fucked. Turning nothing into something over at HuffPo.

    “‘Full Frontal With Samantha Bee’ Apologizes For Mocking Man With Cancer”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/full-frontal-samantha-bee-apologizes-for-mocking-man-with-cancer_us_58c1a81be4b054a0ea68ed77?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

  • BosGrl

    Just saw this on Facebook: “What do I owe to my times, to my country, to my neighbors, to my friends? Such are the questions which a virtuous man ought often to ask himself.” – Johann Kaspar Lavater

    • snark-lurker

      What do I owe?
      Much.

      • BosGrl

        So do I, but these fuckers have no virtue.

        • snark-lurker

          All they have is material wealth, which is a hollow shell where their humanity should be.

    • Lord Jim

      How do I herp thee?
      Let me derp the ways.

      Brekekekex. Koax, koax.

    • TheBoatDude

      This touches on the crux of the nut (or, whatever): These fuckers see themselves as individuals, off on their own, who get no help from anyone, when in fact we live in a FUCKING SOCIETY!

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    OT: My aunt just posted a video of “the strongest antibiotic and anti-cancer remedy.”
    Tumeric
    Apple cider vinegar
    Grated lemon rind
    Honey
    Black pepper
    You’re supposed to take a tablespoon a day and it’s best in the morning for some reason.
    Sounds like the kind of medical treatment people will be able to afford under Trumpcare.

    • Chadwells

      Facebook snake oil. I saw that ridiculous post a couple months ago!!! It continues to resurface.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        My current favorite Facebook snake oil is “cough CPR” — you can do CPR on yourself if you cough every 10 seconds. The American Heart Association is not a fan.

        • TheBoatDude

          FFS… mind you, the cpr world is their own racket. They change the standards every so often so they can sell new training literature (source: I used to teach CPR)

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            I know, I’m a BLS/ACLS provider. I had a RWNJ relative post the cough CPR meme on Facebook. I wrote a long post on why that doesn’t work.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Looks like a good marinade, though.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Yeah, she sure she’s not supposed to rub that on a chicken or something?

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          heh – you said “rub the chicken”

        • shastakoala

          Add to Rebecca’s delicious meatball recipe and you have a cure for autism.

      • Persistent Demme

        Just what I was thinking.
        I’ll bet it’s good on seafood!

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Suddenly I have a craving for scallops…

    • Anna Rompage

      Your aunt’s recipe is missing the 2.5 oz of light rum, 1.5 oz of dark rum, as well as 3 slices of bacon!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Now you’re talking.

        • Anna Rompage

          Seriously though, all of those things have been found to have those properties when they expose them to cancer cells, or bacteria in a petri dish…

          It is a little different though when the body has to digests and absorb the compounds.

          With that said, regular consumption of many different culinary & medicinal herbs and spices can have a positive effect on the body…

        • jodyleek

          That reminds me of all the mari-do-ya-wanna kills all the cancer cells forever amen crapola. If that’s the case, why is Bob Marley dead?

      • Crank Tango

        Double it and then make mine a double!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And it’s gluten-free! It’s just a list of fad foods.

      • Lord Jim

        Mom was watching a YouTube video of some really nice lady reviewing some cosmetic cream. The nice lady noted it was gluten-free. I wanted to scream “Does your skin have Crohn’s Disease? WTF?!”

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I love seeing ‘gluten-free’ on things that would never have it to begin with.

          • TheBoatDude

            Like, antifreeze…

    • TJ Barke

      The best meds that we’ll be able to get will be vodka.

    • shivaskeeper

      It seems to missing a dose of colloidal silver. I think you need that achieve peak woo.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Mercury. And leeches.

    • Weevie

      Far too concentrated. Everyone knows homeopathy is the only true medicine for the new economy.
      Cheaper too, distilled water is almost free!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Good point. Their one recipe could be diluted and used by hundreds of people!

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      I dunno … honey is pretty expensive.

  • AxelDC

    All those takers who have car accidents are living off the fools who don’t get in accidents but buy insurance anyway. The govt is making good drivers pay for those who get in accidents. Why don’t we just have insurance for people who need it, not those who never use it?

    Oh, right, because that’s what insurance is about! You buy it and hope you don’t need it. If you do need it, those who don’t need pay your claims. It’s called risk pooling. Without low risk buyers, the premiums are too high.

    If you want a system where only the sick pay for insurance, that’s called a service plan. That’s why the government subsidizes Medicare, because old people are too poor of a risk. This is why Ryan thinks they should just buy health insurance like everyone else, because Aetna is just clamouring to give low cost insurance to 80 somethings who have had strokes. Ryan wants to privatize Medicare because he doesn’t understand that the elderly are uninsurable.

    • shivaskeeper

      He understands it very well. He doesn’t care that they are uninsurable. As long as no one has to help them, it’s all good.

    • shaar dula

      You know this raises the question – why did nobody in the audience interrupt him and ask this precise fundamental question that you have asked here.

      What type of audience is he talking to? and why is this propaganda being televised.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Also too, if you’re paying for insurance, you’ve PAID for the healthcare, dammit!!!!!

    It’s not like the Sicks are getting a free ride. Their paying for their shit AND ours, too!!!!!

    Jeez-loo-goddamn-weeze!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I know bullying is bad and all that but somebody should have beat the shit out of that guy when he was a kid so he might have found some path to empathy.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      On the other hand, he could have been the scrawny pimply-faced nose-picking kid who got picked on by everybody in school. Consequently, he made it his purpose in life to get even with what he considers the dregs of humanity–that is non-rich people.

  • JustDon’tSayDieInJail
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Thanks. I try to only use this pic once a week so that others can use it without it looking like it’s overused.

      We live in a nation of assholes.

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        I need more variety, for sure.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    I wonder if Paul Ryan’s government health care covers him for being kicked right square in the balls?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Why, of course it does.

    • Lord Jim

      Only one way to know for sure…

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Start with kicking him off-square in the balls, because we need a control…?

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      “We’re insuring GOP pols? Oh GAWD yes, cover their nuts [so to speak].”

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    First of all, Ryan doesn’t seem to know what a “pre-existing condition” is

    I had a 20 year-old employee denied insurance for having a pre-existing condition of: “no history of medical problems”. They wanted him to pay premiums for a year before they would cover him.

    I am not kidding. This really happened.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Catch 22. You can’t have medical insurance because you never have had any illness.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        The same company denied me for any “internal injuries or illnesses” because I had a constricted esophagus enlarged.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          But injuries and illnesses external to your body would be covered? ???

    • veska

      JFC, 20-yr-old with no history of medical problems should be the exact type of person they want to insure.

    • Lulu Mac

      I had a claim denied for a preexisting condition of tonsillitis.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      This goes to show how the asshole insurance companies push around small businesses. They never try that shit with the bigger corporations. That, by itself, is sufficient reason for their extinction.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Exactly. This was a small non-profit that teamed up with a parking ramp to get better rates.

        • Crank Tango

          You must be from where I’m from, cuz when I say “parking ramp” here in California, people look at me like my hair is on fire.

          • TheBoatDude

            Isn’t parking ramp the thing you drive up to get to the parking lot?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      My desk finally broke from all the head desking. I think the warranty is ok though, should be covered.

    • TheBoatDude

      Well, some conditions do not have any symptoms, so if you’re not experiencing any symptoms, you just might have something…

  • Stulexington

    Dear Paul Ryan,

    ATLAS SHRUGGED IS FICTION!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Real fucking bad fiction.

      • Jamoche

        But watching someone rip it to shreds is great fun: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/series/atlas-shrugged/

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Thanks. !!

        • Lord Jim

          accepting Rand’s philosophy requires her devotees to view themselves not just as skilled or talented people, but the indispensable elite – the keystones without whom civilization would collapse. Obviously, that’s not plausible for merely run-of-the-mill human beings. If her protagonists could be replaced by any of millions of people who would do just as good a job, their threat to go on strike and withdraw from society would be meaningless. For them to be irreplaceable, they have to be superhuman. It’s Rand’s bad philosophy that leads to bad writing,
          not the other way around.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Cannot be upfisted enough. Ayn Rand was utterly blinded by her own solipsism.

    • TJ Barke

      With an incredibly contrived plot.

      • TheBoatDude

        I watched all three movies…somehow they managed to take poor writing and spin it into shockingly bad cinema. Hell, they couldn’t even the same actors to come back for the different parts..
        I give her some wiggle room on the writing as she’s ESL, but the premises…ye gods…
        The irony is that Pablo, et al., that like to reference Atlas Shrugged, are the bad characters that she writes about…not the protagonists…

    • JoeChristmas

      And an author who hated God and religion.

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        But apparently believed in magic, judging by the ‘science’ in said bad work of fiction.

        • TheBoatDude

          A motor that runs off of static cling, or some bullshit. Indeed.

      • Weevie

        And smoked like a fiend.

        • Lord Jim

          And took Social Security and Medicare after decades of smoking like a fiend led to lung cancer. Because she couldn’t be bothered to give up her iPhone and save for future vicissitudes.

    • “We’re free! We’re finally free here in Galt’s Gulch of the parasites and the evil Federal government that stifles us with its laws and tyranny. We’re finally free to thrive!”
      “Great! Let’s celebrate with a feast!”
      “Oh… uh…”
      “You did bring food, right?”
      “Uh…”
      “Seeds then? Agricultural workers to plant the fields, till the soil, harvest the crops?”
      “Uh…”
      Three hours later…
      “I don’t know who John Galt was, but he was pretty tasty…”

      • Me not sure

        Tastes like chicken.

      • TheBoatDude

        Where’s the sandwich creator, dammit!?

    • Me not sure

      …poorly written fiction with two dimensional characters like you.

  • ltmcdies

    https://youtu.be/Eak_ogYMprk

    Reminder that there are politicians who can explain things and not look stupid

    • YoBunnyBunny

      OMG… that was so sexy…

    • Marceline

      Trudeau 2020!

    • Beowoof14

      Well clearly they wouldn’t be republican politicians.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I told future Mr. Cats about this and he nerded out for hours. Barely messaged me.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This guy is too cool for America. Sorry, gang.

  • I’m never going to have any additional children. I do not find myself resentful that other people on my medical insurance are going to get maternity care benefits… you know, assuming the insurance company doesn’t decide to axe those if Speaker Paulyerheadoutofyerass Ryan gets his ScroogeCare plan passed.

    • snark-lurker

      “Paulyerheadoutofyerass” is bootiful!

    • LucindathePook

      I am 69 and for sure never going to worry about birth control coverage. Yet I so much want for everyone else to be covered so they are able to determine the number of children they want to have and support.

  • Shibusa
  • CATMAN

    One quick question for Ryan: how do you reconcile your Calvinist/Randian world view with being a devout Catholic?–seems to be a major conflict there

    • Anna Rompage

      Do the Catholics have a prosperity gospel like the evangelicals do?

      • BeachBum

        I believe you are to get yours in the afterlife. So the sooner you get there, the better. Praying to stay well is counter productive.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Just the Vatican.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Yeah, but they spent it all on the pedo priest settlements.

    • shivaskeeper

      The same way most evangelical denominations can justify basing their entire theology on hate while ignoring the 1000+ references to love and support and caring for those less fortunate.

    • snark-lurker

      “Oh, Did I say ‘devout’? I don’t recall ever saying that.”

  • Chadwells

    Yesh…my last post had an angry edge to it. I just hate the way these click bait headlines have a certain implication in the way they phrase them that is completely disconnected from what actually happened.

    Nothing new, I reckon…just irksome.

    • shaar dula

      its ok man. these are not obama years that you have the luxury of mulling over issues untill you understand them. these are trumpian fog years. lies and outrage created and imbibed at an hourly pace. i for one cannot keep up.

      not hyperbole either: list all the lies/excesses by this admin in the last 5 days without googling.

  • Bill Slider

    Donald Trump and the Republican party, that are all about reducing the deficit and balancing the federal budget, are hatefucking the electorate in the antichamber, dry, without knowing the cost of it. Let the poor, the old and disabled, fight for themselves, we got tax breaks for the seriously rich in this motherfucker that we need to enact. That’s my critique of IDon’tCare care.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Somebody should raise their hand and haltingly, tentatively ask “So…Paul. It’s not really a healthcare plan is it? I mean – the red people fend for themselves and the wealthy get a tax cut. I just don’t see anything in it that’s about healthcare?”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Today we are all Andrea Mitchell.

      • Lord Jim

        Wife of Rand disciple Greenspan was talking months ago to Madeleine Albright, who endorsed Hillary Clinton. The last question she asked? “If Hillary Clinton becomes president, do you think she’ll run another private email server?”

        I’m eyeing her cautiously. She’s got some shit to make up for.

  • Shibusa
  • Villago Delenda Est

    This ‘heath care bill’ is about one thing, and one thing only: repealing all the taxes on the parasite class that help to finance the ACA.

    • snark-lurker

      and campaigns

    • OrdinaryJoe

      …repealing all the taxes on the parasite class, that were implemented under the black guy, that help to finance the ACA.” *fixed.

    • Lord Jim

      The truth. You have spoken it.

  • Beowoof14

    Oh Eddie Munster without the heart little Eddie had, continues to prove he is a soulless incubus, who can only get women who are passed out.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Women who are passed out libelz! You know the body has a way to shut that thing ( Paul Ryan) down.
      ;-)

      • Beowoof14

        Oh so many women will disagree that it could get him voted out of office.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Ha! Suck it, off-topic libtards: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2LcP4R9_QkA

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, I’m convinced, even though he doesn’t mention false flags.

    • Weevie

      Looks like something those fine fellows over at the Fox News put together.

    • Doug Langley

      THE SMOKING GUN!!!!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      So James O’Keefe works for Funny or Die now??

    • Cliff Hendroval
  • OrdinaryJoe

    I don’t understand this whole mandate madness. Isn’t it similarly confiscatory that as an employer I have to put in money to subsidize health insurance for my employees? So i pay in taxes for people who don’t have insurance and with profits for my employees to have insurance. I’m paying twice. With single payer for everybody I’d only have to pay one time as part of my taxes and I could compete on a more level playing field with my German and French competition whose employees get their insurance through a government health plan. Throw in the regs that keep pricing in check and the cost of medical insurance gets cut in half. As is the case now in the difference in cost between here and single payer countries.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, but you’re more interested in running a successful business than the power trip of controlling your employees via their health insurance.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      It’s a kind of “all tax is theft” absolutist argument that makes no practical sense.

      They just can’t wrap their heads around the common good actually improving the lives of all.

      If you really do want to let the poor starve and the sick die then you’re going to have to spend your entire income on private security because there’s no police but there are tens of millions of people with nothing to lose.

      • Lord Jim

        Taxes are civilization fees.

        • Transreason Maidenheader

          +1

      • OrdinaryJoe

        George Washington settled that argument with the Whiskey Rebellion response. This whole problem was caused by Anal Randy. And we all know what kind of undesirable she was: godless, gew, sex pervert immigrant. Shoulda built the wall sooner.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        And ready access to lots n lot of guns…

    • Transreason Maidenheader

      Thanks to you, I just overdosed on common sense, and I need health care.

  • Sanity Please

    How about we repeal Congress’ fully paid for health insurance and tell them to go to the ER when they’re sick.

    • Weevie

      Let the doctors in congress heal their own.
      Spacecaptain Carson can open a pray it away clinic.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Can we pay them the minimum wage in their state also too?

      • Lord Jim

        $2.13/hr. If they want a good tip, by golly, they better provide us some service.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Absolutely, but only in states where that’s legal.

        • TheBoatDude

          We can start by putting 5 $1 bills on the table…

    • epazote

      Yep. And how about adjusting their pay and benefits to reflect the “average” income of the constituents in the Districts they’ve been elected to represent ?
      No pensions, no lifetime Cadillac Healthcare plans, no Congressional Dining Room, no Congressional gym, no Congressional barber/shoe shine service.

    • anthonypete300

      yes, yes, yes a million times yes. I wish this was really advocated for, a real movement with real money behind it because I think it *might* actually make a difference. At least an ad campaign to shame these people.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Well, guys like Ryan have full coverage and don’t even work full-time. I think he, himself only worked 126 days last year. That’s far from full-time.

  • Anna Rompage

    So what do you think, when this whole shit show goes up in a flaming dumpster fire of shit, who is the GOP going to blame;

    (A) Obama
    (B) Illegal Immigrants
    (C)The Gays
    (D)One armed little people who wrestle for spare change
    (E) Hindus
    (F) All of the above

    • veska

      You forgot Muslims.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        And shikhs who idiots mistake for Muslims also too.

        • Lord Jim

          Hey, a raghead is a raghead, amirite?

        • weejee

          That fact is so, so crazy. In India, at least in a collective sense, Muslims and Sikhs are not besties. Lotsa exceptions, but still some definite animosity between the general flocks.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            All people of color and not Christian religions are alike to Christians and white people. Never mind that Islam is based on the same god as Judaism and Christianity.

      • Anna Rompage

        Muslims will be so “2017” by the time the GOP base figures out in a couple years that this is a steamy pile of shit

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Skwerls!

    • Chadwells

      A. These morons can derive everything back to A. It’s lunacy and we are doomed!!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        That and the Clinton body count.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Hillary killed me once. It was either in Sweden or Bowling Green. I can’t remember on account of having been dead.

        • Nola Saint

          Clinton Body Count? I never knew her and Ice T rocked it.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      AOT, K. And don’t forget the Jooz.

    • shivaskeeper

      You missed a few groups in there I think.

      It’ll bet that nefarious Obama gets the blame though. He worked to craft a plan people liked. How can you be expected to fight someone who can see that far into the future? It’s like some sort of sorcery.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I actually think I remember hearing an anti-ACA wingnut make this argument (back in the day before the ACA passed), about why it should not be allowed to pass.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      That surfer lobster dude.

      Who’s definitely not O’Keefe in a wig.

      • TheBoatDude

        Aye?

    • Teecha

      Plus feminazis.

    • snark-lurker

      (F)OT,K

    • tinker12

      You forgot the poors and the olds.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Yes.

    • TheBoatDude

      (G) Mullato Touch-Typists
      (H) Short French-speaking Hindu Lesbians
      (I) Rupert Holmes

  • bookish

    http://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/323226-three-states-sue-to-stop-trumps-new-travel-ban

    New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman (D) and Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum (D) will join Washington in challenging the new ban.

    • weejee

      Oops, was typing when you hit send.

      • bookish

        The count keeps going up.

  • maxneanderthal

    As an insurance underwriter with 35 years on the job, Mr Prion reminds me of an endless succession of sales obsessed “account managers” I’ve seen over the years, whose knowledge of greed is infinite, and whose knowledge of Line 1, Page 1 of “Insurance for dummies” is non-existent

    • weejee

      Nice name too, also.

      A prion is an infectious agent composed entirely of protein material, called PrP (short for prion protein), that can fold in multiple, structurally distinct ways, at least one of which is transmissible to other prion proteins, leading to disease that is similar to viral infection.

      • TJ Barke

        Dealing with him is much like having spongiform encephalitis.

        • Lambsendbeds

          Mad Cow libelz!

        • SayItWithOtters

          Or that disease where you can’t fall asleep, until you finally die.

      • maxneanderthal

        Indeed, and they also have the curious feature I believe, of never actually being truly alive, and hence nearly impossible to kill….

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I don’t care about their coverage, Bob! I want to know what you’re doing to keep Insuracare in the black!

  • weejee

    OT: Washington’s AG Bob Feguson asked Judge James Robart to extend his travel ban stay on tRump travel ban ExOrd1.0 to the new, but not, travel ban ExOrd1.1, because the changes are bugs not features regardless of what Sphincter says. 3, 2, 1…

    • cmd resistor

      You mean So-Called Judge Robart, right?

      • weejee

        He went to skool with my best man, back when the world was in sepia.

    • Proud Liberal

      I sure hope the Judge rules in their favor!

  • Michael R

    Paul Ryan’s field of expertise:
    washing clean pans at a closed soup for photo op .

    https://s18.postimg.org/tfrkymheh/paul_ryan_dish_asshole.jpg

    • Wild Cat

      Bad angle. His wife was holding a dildo for the poor colored children of Green Bay that Thanksgiving.

  • Jennaratrix

    He ain’t even pretty. Whatever attractiveness he might or might not have (not my type regardless) is cancelled out by the heartless douchecanoe factor.

    • Wild Cat

      He so ugly even Rudy Giuliani wouldn’t hit on him.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Wild Cat

      The Gospel? Wrong site, Blarney.

    • Proud Liberal

      We need that so badly right now! Thanks for posting.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m just here to help…

        And post silly memes and gifs.

    • puredog

      I would like to know more about their membership and the people in charge than I could find info on their website. Oddly opaque, that. “Here’s some stirring rhetoric, please send money.” I mean, they’re probably fine, but there’s nothing about their website that encourages me to send less money to PP or the ACLU (or for that matter Wonkette) so I can send it to them.

  • TJ Barke

    Maybe paul realized that insurance is sort of a little socialisty…

  • The Flaming Carrot

    The Ryan video could be used, to great effect, in a scene from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Every time Ryan opened his mouth, someone could shot “Asshole!” or “what’s the matter, don’t you like Meatloaf?”

  • janecita

    I want to move to Iceland, I’m already tired of winning.

    • TJ Barke

      I hear they don’t have trees there.

    • tinker12

      Wimminz and menz are going to be paid the same there! Yay!!

    • weejee
      • janecita

        New Zealand looks even better, and warmer.

      • ltmcdies

        My cousin and his wife moved there about 3 years ago….they love it

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        New Zealand physicists at the University of Otago are able to isolate and control individual atoms.

        https://phys.org/news/2017-03-gain-atoms.html

    • Ducksworthy

      Instead of bailing out the banks they bailed out the Icelanders.

      • janecita

        And they jailed some of the bankers.

        • BeachLoafer

          More bankers in jail is a good start

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      Yeah, I find myself looking up old friends from college … Canadian, British … men … hetero [like me] … can’t think why they’re on my mind these days.

      • janecita

        I’m trying to be real nice, to that new Dutch commenter, Robbertjan Brandenburg. Adults can be adopted, right?

  • tinker12

    Every time I see that fking picture, I have to fight the overwhelming desire to take that fking dumbbell’s dumbbell and pummel the fuck outta him with it. As a public service.

    • shivaskeeper

      With votes. Always with votes.

      • tinker12

        Hey, a grrl can dream!

        • shivaskeeper

          Want you to stay on the right side of the commenting rules though.

      • janecita

        Heavy, made out of lead votes.

    • janecita

      Do you need help? Please say yes!

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Disregard archaeology, punch Nazis.

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed
    • wide_stance_hubby

      About as convincing as his pot washing skills.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Washing? I grind it up and smoke it.

    • Roadstergal

      I’ve seen chickens with beefier legs.

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        I know a lot of athletes that dont have big legs (not me because I love leg day and like to go heavy) but they all have definition. ZEGS has two fuzzy pieces of string cheese sticking out of his shorts.

        • maxneanderthal

          He’s another of those human vermin surfing his poxed smartphone whilst I’m standing there waiting to start squatting- wankers…

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            Or my favorite, the douchebro that hogs the trap bar to do shrugs when I need to get my dead lift on.

  • bookish
  • Jack Tenhet

    Put this in the AARP thread, but it also works very well here. Courtesy of Cafe.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8995248eb37e3f7e12891e9f6cb9659b0ddeee71c82beaa66249a49545febdd0.png

    • janecita

      “I’ve never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke”

    • shaar dula

      that’s how he looks smiling? that’s about the only time i have seen him smiling. it takes an industrial fired chicken to make him smile? man!! daaamn!! wtf.

    • Fartknocker

      He’s thinking “Shit, this stuff is awesome! I must fire the chef who makes the Taco Bowls.”

      • It does not surprise me at all that Trump is incapable of appreciating Taco Bowls. Or Famous Bowls. Philistine!

    • ltmcdies

      I guess the diet coke makes it a healthy meal??

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        He was probably a big Tab guy in the 70’s.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Totally healthy! Looks like he stopped drinking gravy, like in the other picture.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        With peanuts.

      • AyeDiosDrinko

        Diet Coke actually has more caffeine than regular Coke.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      70 years old and he eats like I did when I was 20. Yeah, that isn’t a problem at all.

  • Suse
  • Jack Tenhet
    • shaar dula

      duplicitous douche bag.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “You see, this red part over here is the ass. The blue part is the elbow”.

  • Weevie

    Cool to segregate and have the gov’t pay for sickies and wellies pay less. Wellies pay less for themselves and higher taxes to fund the sickies. ‘Cept the sickies’ funding has to be less than now to save money, so they drop out, leaving tax breaks for the rich next year and higher taxes for wellies.
    Good idea! Luv it!
    Yeah, we’re totally stupid, so stupid we missed the red color for sickies and blue for wellies.

    • Ducksworthy

      The death spiral of death. To use the actuarial term.

  • Jack Tenhet
    • shaar dula

      hellcare – an elaborate act that doesn’t even care.

      • Ducksworthy

        HellifweCare

  • cmd resistor

    Speaking of Dumbass, latest presidential tweet. Who even talks like that?
    “Despite what you hear in the press, healthcare is coming along great. We are talking to many groups and it will end in a beautiful picture!”

  • AJ Milne

    … which is why I try to total my car at least daily.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I remember actually hearing a wingnut argument (maybe on FOX) back when the ACA was being debated, that argued that providing health care for people would definitely result in people behaving in riskier ways.

      I mean really, who doesn’t set their curtains on fire, because they’ve got fire insurance?? Nobody, that’s who!

      • Edith Prickly

        Hey, I purposely fell down my own stairs just for the free ankle surgery!

      • Roadstergal

        Ever since I got the HepB vaccine, I have been stabbing myself with used syringes on the regular.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Lyin’ Ryan and the Lyin’ Right know there’s no way out of the healthcare hole they’ve dug for themselves. I think they wrote this piece of shit legislation with the hope that it would fail. That way they can continue to blame the Democrats and President Obama.

    • BeachLoafer

      You may well be right, but it will be entertaining, possibly even informative, to watch the contortions as they explain why their inability to come up with a plan that can make it through a Republican legislature is Obama’s fault

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        They’ve already started. The Russian Puppet’s tweets about the tapps, the Puppet’s concerns about leaks, the right wing fever dream about President Obama controlling the resistance…they’ll never stop. PBHO has become the new Hillary. They WON’T stop, ever, despite not having any evidence, anything…they sold their souls for power and it won’t mean anything unless they exercise that power, which they can’t do if they investigate the real problems with the Russian Puppet. The fuck you network and right wingnuts will never, ever, from now on, shut up about investigating President Obama and the left.

    • Keith Taylor

      Prince Humperdinck and six-fingered Count Rugen, sharing a flagon in their Zoo of Death and planning to murder Buttercup, were noble, decent and compassionate beside these jokers.

      • Transreason Maidenheader

        Nicely done.

        • Keith Taylor

          Thanks. But I wish it wasn’t true.

  • Mavenmaven

    And this is supposed to be the Republican’s “smart” guy. So one can imagine that his fans are hearing the equivalent of “blah blah ginger”.

    • BeachLoafer

      I like the Larson reference, imagine what he could do with political satire if he had a mind to …

      • Mavenmaven

        Perhaps he’s commenting here! I can say this, Larson and I had the same guitar teacher, the one he drew as “no, fifth leg”, a legend named Al Turay, who actually looked sort of like that.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Ryan is a dumb guy’s idea of a policy wonk.

    Just like Gingrich was a dumb guy’s idea of a smart guy.

    And Trump is a dumb guy’s idea of a rich guy.

    The governing party in America is dependent on dumb guys. Are we sure “Idiocracy” wasn’t a documentary?

    • Lord Jim

      I’d say it WAS.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Okay, let’s get to work on this ACA replacement”

        “Go way, ‘batin!”

  • formerChild

    Is there a word for a gay man who seems to be attracted to other men whose personal philosophies are diametrically opposed to everything he stands for?

    Just wonderin’ :-p

    • LifelongLurker

      Liesexual?

    • JMP

      Roy Cohn?

    • mfp

      self-loathing?…self sabotaging?….pick one or both

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      A stiff dick has no conscience! Been true for millenia.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Yes. A IDIOT. This has been another in our ongoing series of simple answers to simple questions.

    • laineypc

      Just focus on Justin Trudeau whenever you get those feelings.

      • formerChild

        I wasn’t talking about me. Though my life might have been easier if I had been…

  • Moose Lambs

    You know who is the dumbest? The rubes who voted for this clown.

  • CatCope

    He’s just like all the other idiots Idiot In Chief has put in charge of important posts.
    NO knowledge of said posts. EPA (we don’t need NO stinkin’ scientist), HUD, Dept. of Ed., on & on & on ……….. NO need to know ’bout how healthcare/insurance works, just gut it, smile & stand back! WHAT PROBLEM??!

    • Nola Saint

      He has also said “so, no. I do not agree that it (earth) is round but we don’t know that…we need to continue debate” when asked if the earth is round.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    When I was young and healthy, I had health insurance, even though I knew I’d PROBABLY never use it (and I didn’t!). I never resented paying for older people, because I was smart enough to know I’d PROBABLY get old and sick some day myself. Jesus, this isn’t fucking brain surgery.

    • Roadstergal

      “This isn’t fucking brain surgery”

      You’re looking for that healthcare replacement, over there. -Dr Carson

      • Sheepshagger

        “Shock his brain! Shock him!”

        Dr. “Frankenstein” Carson.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    New ACA replacement looks promising. pic.twitter.com/rpRDH1Cy0Y— Orb Cookery🌹 (@fritolaysia) March 9, 2017

  • TundraGrifter

    Under the Trump Administration’s home insurance plan, only people who plan to burn down their homes will be required to purchase a policy against fire loss.

    • NellCote71

      Great analogy. I will steal and use.

      • TundraGrifter

        Spread it wide and thick!

    • John Lo

      And then, after it burns down, they can buy the policy at 30% to rebuild it to 100%. I want a piece of that.

      • TundraGrifter

        Back in the day I worked at an S&L that had a contract with an insurance company. They got a tape of all our mortgage loans and made sure everybody had insurance.

        Well, a lady in the Midwest lost the roof to her home and it turned out the insurance company had missed her. We found out about it and told her she had to pay the insurance premiums going back to when she got her loan.

        A couple of my co-workers thought our S&L was being pretty cold. First she lost her roof – now we were billing her for insurance.

        I said “Understand the deal. Who else is going to sell her an insurance policy knowing she is going to turn around and file a claim for a new roof?”

  • mfp

    yaknow, i keep hoping that one day (before i die of what will have been an easily fixable disease, except $$), i will wake up and everyone in this fucked up country will have had the overnight epiphany that the concepts of ‘insurance’ and ‘single payer govt administered health care’ are exactly the same fucking thing—except for that one part…youknow, the part where people die unnecessarily because the insurance mafia skim off $billions in profit by denying healthcare

    seriously, folks, our so-called health-care system in general and idiotic ‘Ryancare’ in particular, are basically the same business model as how the mob operated their vegas casinos in the 50s-60s

    • Parakeetist

      It’s racketeering.

    • don

      At least some people had fun in the casinos…

  • Katio

    Paul Ryan got SS $$ to go to college. I didn’t. His daddy died suddenly of a heart attack when he was 16. My daddy died of a heart attack at 90. I was lucky. That’s how insurance works.

  • KittyCastiel

    My hubby had a wee touch of nut cancer 13 years ago, is fine, and we even had a whoopsie baby a few yrs later, so his seed remaindeth strong. Anyway the costs for that simple and easily cured cancer has amounted to over 50k, probably more, 40k in the first year. And after all these years this condition could still keep him from getting affordable insurance. Fuck Paul Ryan sideways

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Not with a 10 foot pole. Is it wrong for me to wish that Paul Ryan would get nut cancer? And not a wee touch, either, since his health care is paid for by US, I want him to experience excruciating pain.

      • BeachLoafer

        If only nut cancer only applied to nuts

      • KittyCastiel

        Well, you probably want a different cancer then. Nut cancer doesn’t usually hurt, at least not until it spreads to the brain.

        • Arthur Gane

          If Paul had nut cancer then its already in his brain.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        I vote for colon cancer, provided he needs an ostomy bag for at least a year. If suffering is the only way for these sociopaths to develop compassion, then so be it.

  • Lefty Wright

    About 25 years ago, I had back surgery which helped for many years. Up to that point, I made it to my early 40s and had never even met my deductible but always kept insurance. Of course, my insurance rates went up for the next 2 years, then they cancelled it. The only other policy I could find was 40% more and had an exclusion on anything to do with my back. What I had trouble understanding was why they charged a much higher rate when excluding something that probably accounts for a significant health care expense. I don’t see how having had back surgery made me more of a risk for heart or kidney problems, or any other health problems. Then when I hit 50, that policy was dropped and nothing remotely affordable was available. Fortunately, three years later I got another job that had group health insurance. But it did make me aware of the cost of having health insurance if you have any health problems and the potential cost of not having it.

  • BeachLoafer

    A few years ago my daughter was hit by a car going 50 mph while crossing the street.

    The first week in ICU was pretty much a series of life or death decisions, and ran well into six figures.

    The next couple of months determined whether she’d have any semblance of a normal life, and again ran well into six figures.

    It’s unlikely most drivers have that level of coverage for injuries they inflict (and really, it was my daughter’s fault, stupid teenager tricks), but fortunately I’m fairly successful and have a great insurance package. I have to wonder what her condition today (currently excellent) would be if I didn’t have that level of coverage.

    I wouldn’t wish what my family went through on my worst enemy, not even on Ryan or Trump, and the thought of telling anyone in a similar situation “that’s all we can do for what you can afford” makes me sick. Is it worth half a million bucks to fix up a teenager? Absolutely. Does it matter if that teenager is going to be the next Einstein or Salk? Absolutely not.

    We cannot predict the possible outcomes of restricting access to healthcare, the causality graph is simply too complex. My daughter will probably be neither the next Hitler nor the next Hawking (it could happen!), but all signs point to her being a productive member of society worth the initial investment.

    I was a proponent of universal health care for anyone on American soil (notice I didn’t say citizens there) before my daughter’s accident. I’ve only become a stronger proponent of it since, and I’m willing and able to pay the taxes to make it happen.

    Ryan and Trump can go fuck themselves (with votes, of course). I hope their plan dies a miserable death, and voters make it clear in the midterms that health care should be a right in a civilized society, not a privilege.

    I’m glad I can afford the alcohol, and the coverage for my liver, because these assholes make me madder than any politicians before them have (including Nixon, and I was an adult then).

    • don

      And yet, the US spends over a million dollars a year per soldier to ship the same teenager to Afghanistan…or some other hell-hole…and that’s if they DON’T come back missing limbs or more.

      This country is dying.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Fucking chicken legs.

    • don

      Brain too. No offense to chickens.

      • don

        Actually no. Our chickens wouldn’t hurt a fly. Ryan would kill thousands so his filthy backers can make a few more dollars. Fuck him with a rusty pipe.

  • Panika MCD

    a) that was a perfect example. everyone knows Louie Gohmert eats bananas in the shower.

    b) it’s called “paying it forward”! how do they not understand that if this stays in place that one day all the youngs and healthies will be paying for our healthcare? it’s like they never understood that SSI was from shit you paid into when you were a youngs and you get when you are an olds.

    c) also considered pre-existing conditions: asthma, mental illness and having a vagina. it’s a wonder that “being a toddler” isn’t considered a pre-existing condition since at one point or another in our toddler years, we all stuck something up our noses. mine was a red M&M.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Mine was a kernel of popcorn, the damn thing sprouted.

  • John Lo

    I would like to know why people continue to call Ryan a “policy wonk,” when in fact he’s a policy wanker.

    • Shoto

      I contacted one of my senators earlier today and said the same thing. More specifically, I strongly suggested that the Democratic Party begin systematically attacking him on his crackpot ideas. Enough with this wanker, already.

    • SayItWithOtters

      He literally doesn’t know a thing that any 16-year-old whose parents made him/her pay for the car insurance already knows. You don’t get to buy it AFTER the accident.

      • Mike Steele

        He also rarely mentions that he was raised thanks to entitlements, as his father died young and his mother collected survivor benefits from SSA.

    • sadboy

      He’s a GOP version of a wonk, which means he can usually distinguish between nouns and verbs and is capable of talking for more than sixty seconds without mumbling, slurring or foaming at the mouth. As for frontal lobe functions, however, it’s anybody’s guess.

  • Shoto

    Is it wrong to wish that Paul ZEGS Ryan would get a pre-existing condition like, oh, I dunno, paralysis from the neck down by accidentally ramming his automobile into a freeway abutment? Too much? What about the heartbreak of psoriasis? Something, anything to wipe that smirk off of his face.

    • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
      • CatCope

        Where is Dr. David Banner when you really need him??

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      He already has “Cadillac Coverage” because of his “service” (gag!) in government. For the rest of his life. Also, too; guaranteed income from his pension. I still cannot see him thinking his lessers deserve the same level of care he would get even if he became a paraplegic in a horrible accident.

      • suziq

        I don’t think we should be providing them insurance unless/until we have single payer for everyone. And pensions are so out-dated. Social Security and they can pay into an IRA like everyone else. They want to take away good pay and pensions for public service jobs, they should be included. And now you got me riled up, their income should be limited to something like 4X minimum wage, or 3X average of the people they represent or something.

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          I LOVE that (cap on income) — I love love love that. Thanks for the dopamine surge …

      • Mike Steele

        Just so folks don’t confuse Congress with federal workers, those of us under civil service paid mightily into the pension plan, and covered the premiums for whatever our FEHBP choice during work years and into retirement. Also, too, if we paid into Soc. Sec. while employed in private sector, St. Ronald of Reagan passed ‘Windfall Elimination Provision’ that automatically cuts our earned SS benefits nearly on half – while he QUADRUPLE dipped, with Social Security, union pension from SAG, CA gov. pension and that little stipend he got for time as POTUS.

  • Opusuno

    It’s as if the last election has already been forgotten? The Reptiles will pass it thru lock step and in line. Then it will die a quick death without any mandate. The rich will get theirs. The GOP will blame the Demwits. And really angry stupid voters will keep buying the lies because it’s what they want to hear. Then we’ll all spend our retirement as slaves to the insurance companies.

    Thanks Wisconsin!

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      If they can make a bomb that kills the pipples but keeps the buildings intact, why can’t they make a bomb that zaps only the RWNJs?

  • Stephanie Rakowski

    Also a UTI. I got turned down when I lost my job for having 1 UTI in 3 years

    • HazooToo

      …. Would they have rather you went in and pissed uncontrollably all over everything?

      • Stephanie Rakowski

        Obviously I was weak because I got an illness and must be punished

  • BIJ0U

    So that nitwit wants US to pull out our purses when a healthy uninsured person falls off his motorcycle and ends up with a gorked brain on welfare forever and ever. Paul Ryan wants all the people who imagine they will never get sick or hurt to be freeloaders and parasites the rest of us pay for. Nice!

    • almaalum

      On top of that, the motorcycle rider wasn’t required to wear a helmet because freedom!

      • BIJ0U

        This. Too bad their stoopidness never seems to kill the right person.

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    When my son was 3, we finally had access to employer provided health insurance, with a big caveat, they would not cover anything related to his ears. He had a few ear infections, as kids do. Luckily, we had the coolest doc ever, so his ear infections became tonsillitis or sinus infections so the bill and antibiotics were covered.
    When I had my daughter in 1991, birth control was still uncovered since my first husband and I worked for Catholic Healthcare West, later Mercy, and now Dignity. We paid out of pocket for his vasectomy (I would have gotten my tubal ligation done then, if it was an option, also the pill was not covered). Luckily, California passed a bill to require insurance to cover pregnancy, family planning, and pre-existing conditions for all employer sponsored insurance. The “free market” plans could still refuse to insure anyone at will.

  • Relativicus

    “Ask not what you can do for your country, ask ‘what the fuck has my country done for ME lately?'”

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Paul Ryan look pretty??? …I guess if you are into the Eddie Munster Widow’s Peak look.

  • TundraGrifter

    I did a little research and the odds of having a house fire here in the US of A are roughly between 1 in 300 and 1 in 400. Not all fires result in total loss, of course.

    So a couple of hundred homeowners are subsidizing the poor soul who has a fire.

    I hope Paul Ryan doesn’t find out.

    • Nola Saint

      Don’t forget about the people who pay for flood insurance but never see a drop of water…they are *gasp* subsidizing the folks who do get flooded. (You could truly do this with any type of insurance, fire, flood, car, theft, homeowner’s, etc. Even profession specific insurance such as medical /legal malpractice insurance.) This little twunt either doesn’t understand the basic principles of insurance in general – let alone health insurance – or he’s hoping nobody else does.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Rip the pages out of that fucking thing and stick them on a nail in the one-holer out back, where they belong.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Are we sure that films and books like Soylent Green and Brave New World are entirely based on a fictional premise? Just wonderin’.

    • Actually a merge of those two and Atlas Shrugged could be the novel of our age! You could just call it “Soylent Green and Brave New World and Atlas Shrugged” Wait for the part where a green cube of jello gives a three hour speech so boring it changes the nation!

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Soylent Trump is people!

      • Jeff Mc Donald

        No, no, corporations are people.

    • They seem to be basing their health care plan on Repo Men (2010). Very disturbing indeed. He is a human hemorrhoid on the republican arsehole.

  • David

    Never skip leg day! His legs are puny like tRumpp’s hands!

  • Run2Live
  • The whole idea of Obamacare is the people in the blue side pay for the people on the red side.

    WHOA! Whoever heard of BLUE anything, like states, maybe, paying for RED anything, also like states, maybe? Madness!

    Also, great fucking analogy, numb nuts. YOU JUST DISPROVED YOUR OWN POINT!

  • Would that be the Ayn Rand that was living in public housing, on social security and using Medicare before she died? (All claimed under a different name)

    • Keith Taylor

      It would indeed be that Ayn Rand. It would also be that Ayn Rand who addictively smoked like a chimney and ferociously denied that tobacco causes cancer. She didn’t even publicly retract when she developed lung cancer herself. There is a scene in ATLAS SHRUGGED which has a minor character extol smoking as an intellectual virtue, and say that the “burning tip of a cigarette” is a perfect symbol of the fire in a man’s mind when he thinks — and so help me Huitzilopchtli I am not making that up. I swear it.
      It’s also the Ayn Rand who loathed the very idea of socialized medicine. (None of the heroes in her books ever got hurt. Well, Dominique in THE FOUNTAINHEAD almost died in the explosion when her lover dynamited a building in a fit of pique, but he was the hero so what he did was okay, and she recovered completely and married him, happy ending, hooray.)
      Dr. Hendricks in ATLAS SHRUGGED isn’t Dr. Kildare or Marcus Welby, and you can believe it. He ceases public practice and hides out in the wilderness because the rotten socialist government won’t allow him to treat only the patients he likes and charge them whatever fees he pleases. Being a genius brain surgeon, he discovers a method of preventing brain strokes that will, as he modestly says, “remove from human existence the terrible threat of sudden paralysis”. However, he’s not going to publish his technique because the faceless masses of freeloading swine out there in the world don’t deserve it, not being total laissez-faire capitalists. So much for the Hippocratic Oath one assumes he once pronounced.
      And it appears he achieved this marvel of medical research all by himself, without a team, without partners or associates, while hiding out in the wilderness, remember. Without the resources of a major medical centre, without … well, without anything, really, except his research genius and his love of capitalism. But that’s enough if only all regulations are removed!
      I know. If this drivel hadn’t been actually written and published, I couldn’t believe it either. But as one of the characters in ATLAS says, with exquisite and unintended irony, “There was a time when I believed nobody could take it seriously. I was wrong.”

      • Mike Steele

        Fine job, Keith. Saved us from reading her again- thanks!

  • Keith Taylor

    “In summary, fuck you, Paul Ryan, right in your perky, healthy bottom”? Evan Hurst, sir, I like your writing and your opinions and your ethics, but holy crap, that closing line is enough to put any person, gay or straight, off sex for a year or longer. Who barring another product of vile deep sea ooze like Ryan would do that, even if the fee was a million-dollar mansion, a long long way from Trump Towers? Okay, maybe a chacma baboon afflicted with satyriasis … maybe.
    But it’s all so pellucidly clear and cogent I wish the mugs who support Donald Trump and think his team is just the greatest thing in American politics since the founding fathers would read it and think about it. I wish, yeah. No chance, though.

    • Lynn A Myers

      I’ve always had a thing for Mr. Ryan – I think he is completely do-able.

      • Keith Taylor

        Oh.

      • Mike Steele

        Lady MS: That winsome Ted Bundy was also a hit with the ladies. jeez, that reminds me…he used to use a fake ‘broken arm’ to get compassionate passersby near his cute little VW beetle…

        • HooverVilles

          Moar info on this Bundy “broken arm” horse wacky, puhleeze.
          Just when you think you have see it all there is moar gift out there.
          Sigh!

          • Mike Steele

            Ann Rule, true-crime author and one-time Bundy co-worker, wrote of it in “Tne Stranger Beside Me”. He was cute, clever, charming, would employ fake cast/sling and engage some unsuspecting gal to give him a hand, then…bingo! BTW, Ann Rule died not long ago, but for those who like the genre, my two faves were “Small Sacrifices” about a murderous mail lady, plus “And Never Let Her Go”, about sleazy DE lawyer Tom Capano, who murdered the aide to Sen. Tom Carper.

          • HooverVilles

            Thanks!!!!!

      • mfp
        • Lynn A Myers

          He wouldn’t be expected to speak, and the face……….maybe.

          :–)))))

        • The Flaming Carrot

          Bassett hound!

      • Morningside

        I think he’s repulsive.

      • Maybe

        Only from the neck down.

    • mfp

      upfisted for ‘pellucidly’– although a certain contingent of the grammar nazi non-commenters amongst us might point out that adding ‘clear’ is unneeded (“…pellucid and cogent…”) and therefore redundant

      i am not among that group, and the upfist stands

  • Rickyphoo

    Ryan’s Red/Blue pie chart example could also be used to show how the relatively prosperous Blue states are paying taxes that go to help the more impoverished Red states, (I’m looking at you, Kansas!). It’s kinda what puts the United in United States.

  • Bebecca

    They just don’t get that this can only work if EVERYONE is covered. Otherwise, people will wait until the day after they are diagnosed with an illness or have an accident to buy insurance. It’s not rocket scientist (I worked for someone who actually said that often, he also said mute point instead of moot point).

    • Maybe

      I’m a little surprised the insurance companies haven’t had something to say about this. The Repubs modified the pre-existing coverage clause–you cannot ever let your coverage lapse–but it’s still in there.

  • King Beauregard

    It’s not just the Republicans who don’t understand this. If I had a nickel for every Leftie who felt the individual mandate was some sort of scam and betrayal, I could join the hated 1%.

    It also suggests that much of the Left is saying, “more for me and make someone else pay for it!” Hey guys, way to be exactly as selfish as the Republicans whose small-mindedness you despise.

    • Morningside

      I haven’t run into anyone on the left like that.

      • King Beauregard

        Spend some time on salon.com, you will. Not that trashing the ACA is high on their to-do list these days, other than “here’s another reason the Democrats lost”.

    • Maybe

      I have recently started using the term alt-left. They are the mirror image of the alt-right and every bit as selfish and knee-jerk ignorant.

      • King Beauregard

        And when they start making enough money that minimum wage levels are less of an issue to them than their tax rates, they’ll turn Republican without compromising a single principle.

        • Maybe

          You have to make a lot of money to be in the Repub’s tax break good graces, but people like Joe the Plumber fell for it.

          The alt-left are already Repub allies. They just don’t know it.

  • NuriaRodriguez

    Yes, Paul, but tell us if YOU and the rest of the Hitler Youth will be covered under this plan.

  • fogy
  • beejeez

    Assholes. If there were a Republican who actually came out and said, “No, we’re getting rid of Obamacare because we’re about to lay the biggest tax cut ever on the super-wealthy and we don’t give a rat’s ass about poor and working-class people who get sick and die,” I would actually vote for the bastard based purely on his honesty.

    • Maybe

      And don’t forget the recession this will trigger. Reducing government spending that goes to people who quickly spend it in turn stimulates the economy. Tax cuts for the rich do not, except maybe in island tax havens.

      Let’s start calling this the Trump Recession right now. Otherwise you know they’ll blame it on Obama.

  • Maybe

    Ryan doesn’t need to know how health insurance works to do his job. Ignorance is part of his job description.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    I laughed really hard at this envisioning of Paul Ryan getting hurt. That is all.

  • Lizernst

    Fuck Paul Ryan. I can’t wait for his nut cancer diagnosis.

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