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ANSWER HER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Andrea Mitchell, she is that NBC/MSNBC reporter who is married to Alan Greenspan and sometimes (sigh) she can be kind of a (sigh) hack. But not today, mother-effers! Today she is your Hero Journalist of the Day, trying to get some damn answers from Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, on how does he like leading the State Department when Orange Hitler is hellbent on cutting funding for the department and he doesn’t even have a deputy yet. So she asked her questions, all four of them, IMPOLITELY, while the secretary was doing a photo op, and she got no answers, and YET SHE PERSISTED.

In response, a staffer lady was all “Andrea?” and rolling her eyes, and then Mitchell got taken out of the room, IMPOLITELY.

Watch it!

Like we said, Mitchell is not always our very favorite, but one time we were at the Republican Convention leaving this Buzzfeed party and we rode the elevator with her and we were all, “Andrea Mitchell!” and her face said, “I acknowledge that it is me,” and we just asked how she was feeling. (It was late at night.) She said she was tired, and we probably fist-bumped, we can’t remember, but she was very nice to us, and IN CONCLUSION, if we did not fist-bump her that day, we fist-bump her today, in solidarity, THE END.

Also, this is your open thread! If you love Wonkette, you should throw us a few bucks, as a love offering!

[h/t MSNBC’s Kyle Griffin on Twitter]

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  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    For fuck’s sake.

  • memzilla Ω

    Well, that wasn’t very diplomatic AT ALL.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      She’s just pissed because she wasn’t even on the shortlist for WH press secretary. I mean, how could she be? Just look at her; a 4, or maybe a 5 at best. Sad!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Tillerson and other dude look like the worst Burns and Smithers impersonators. Bless their hearts.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      They mean well.

  • I think every question lobbed at these assholes going forward should be “just exactly how fucking corrupt are you?”

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      “Why haven’t you resigned yet?”
      “When are you going to prison?”
      “Do you think you’ll avoid the death penalty?”

  • RichardBroderickJr

    Remember when Andrea’s husband Alan Greenspan testified that he was concerned that we might pay the nations debt too fast leaving investors no safe haven to invest in?

    .

    • yyyaz

      “Irrational exuberance.”

  • Spurning Beer

    Andrea often looks tired.

    • Nyumbu

      You’d look tired, too, if every day you got home from working all day and then had to listen to Alan Greenspan talk until one of you fell asleep.

      • kindness

        We won’t even mention Alan’s begging for sex. Ewwwww. I’ve got a headache now.

        • Amy!

          Huh. I have a sudden urge to go wash my hair.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – more bathroom bill

    seriously, this guy is saying we must have exclusively cis-gendered bathrooms for cis-women because otherwise we won’t have anywhere to go cry after the men assault us–LIKE THAT SHOULD CONTINUE! #SB6

    • snigsy

      Men assault only ciswomen? Okay, then

      • Panika MCD

        no, but that’s apparently what women’s public restrooms are for. no trans women should be crying in the public women’s restroom.

        • snigsy

          My comment wasn’t directed at you but at the asshole you’re reporting on. (And thanks for doing this!)

          • Panika MCD

            no trans tears in public restrooms!

      • Nyumbu

        That will be welcome news to my transgender friends. Somehow I don’t expect them to buy it.

        • Panika MCD

          definitely not, but I guess the guy thinks they should go cry in the alley?

          • Nyumbu

            Not a good idea. The alley is where most of them get beat up. I suspect the guy just thinks they should go. Period. Doesn’t care where.

          • yyyaz

            Oh he fucking “cares” all right. He wants them, us and everyone else who isn’t a pasty-white xtain jihadist to go “away.”

    • Jenny

      Wait so the bathroom is a safe place from assaults…then why are they so worrried about assaults happening in the bathroom by transgenders cuz it is clearly a safe zone!!!

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Shh…you and your “logic”.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s very circular and I’m actually kinda lucky I’m at the office instead of the hearing room because I want to kill Lucio right about now.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      How you have not murdered everyone in that room is a testament to self-restraint.

      • Panika MCD

        they decided we needed press passes and we only get those for people who cover floor hearings because that’s generally the only time they’re necessary. just got back from my liquid dinner and Hancock’s being a grade a dick!

  • snigsy

    Who knew that asking a question (and expecting an answer) is a criminal act.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Crystalclear12

    Expecting answers, pfft.
    She should know better.

    • puredog

      That was probably a photo op, not a presser. Tillerson looked pained that some uppity female would be all persisting at him.

  • Sardonicuss

    Every time I see her face, all I can think of is her relentless concern trolling over the “haunting email scandal”.
    No other journalist had a bigger hate boner for Hillary outside of Fox news. I often thought Hilz must have ignored her at a cocktail party or something…

    • Nyumbu

      Even more of a hate boner than Maureen Dowd? (To be fair her hate boner is mostly directed at Bill, but no Clinton is exempt from her disdain except, perhaps, the grandbabies)

      • Sardonicuss

        Yep..but I didnt have to see Dowd frowning all over my t.v. for 18 months.
        Both or their seemingly personal vendettas went back to when Bill was in office. ..But Andrea was fucking relentless. She would never utter a positive word about Hil. Ever.

  • Caepan

    Nope. Just ’cause Mrs. Greenspan was nice to you once in an elevator, plus she also occasionally tries to do journalism does not mean that I can forget all the “conventional wisdom” bullshit she spewed about President Obama and Hillary Clinton.

    She can sit in the same small room as Joe Scarborough, forced to have to breathe his farts for all eternity, for all I care.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Is there room for Upchuck Turd?

      • Caepan

        Fine. We can lock him in there too.

        I might give them a bowl of refried beans to eat, since I’m a kind and generous liberal. But they don’t get utensils or even pita bread so they’ll have to eat it with their expensive manicured fingers, because I have a long memory and fuck them.

      • Longstreet63

        Here I wrote and erased something referencing a puzzle-based horror movie series. I regret this deeply and therefore voluntarily have removed it.
        Of course I do. Why do you ask?

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      That is a circle of Hell so dire it never would have occurred to Dante.

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        There are several of those.

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    Mrs. There Was A Flaw In The Ideology.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Well you are kinder and more collegial and shit than I because I still hold all the grudges about the bias she showed during the election . She’s still on my list ( not like Susan Sarandon is on my list…she’s on her own list and has her own voodoo doll maybe) but I’ll move Andrea down a couple of lines since she practiced journalisms today.

    • Vecchioivan

      Next week trump will act uncrazy for a few minutes and she’ll be back to calling him presidential, along with the other network hacks.

    • yyyaz

      I watched that yesterday, last year, whenever the fuck it happened, and at the end as she was being ushered out, by name mind you, she was chuckling. Yeah, that there is some real funny shit, Mrs. Greenspan. Yuk it up until we all die. Drink.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    A totally broken clock who couldn’t stop talking about emails can be right twice a day.

    About something other than emails.

  • Thiazin Red

    Speaking of the SoS, why isn’t he included on the list of shady Russia ties? Dude literally has an “I am Putin’s BFF” medal.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Because he didn’t lie about it I guess? Wtf even knows?

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      He is included, it’s just kind of crowded, you know.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      His ties aren’t so much “shady” as they are “right out in the open naked where gawd an’ everbody can see ’em.”

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Longstreet63

      so…why DID you resign?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        In real life, I did. Last year. And as I look for a new job, it’s surprising how many employers ask as if I did something wrong–it’s how the employment websites are worded that freaks me out.

        • Longstreet63

          Okay, thanks. You can go. That’s all we wanted to know.

        • Doug Langley

          “Please explain any periods of unemployment.”

          Translation: what on earth makes you so worthless that our brilliant CEO’s don’t want anything to do with you?

      • Doug Langley

        He was an Uber driver?

    • Amy!

      Have a nice day!

  • FlownΩver

    Maybe pretty good at the questioning part of her job but crikey, she can’t formulate a follow-up interview question on the fly to save her alleged soul.

  • Count Awesome

    I’m waiting for Trump to scream at reporters “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH” a la Jack Nicholson.

    • snigsy

      I’m waiting for the press pool to scream that at Trump. Won’t happen.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        In fairness, that’s one emperor the absence of whose vestments NO one wishes to contemplate. Even Melon.

    • Caepan

      Because Trump is such a fuck-up, he’ll wind up yelling I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

      Then Chris Cilizza will swoon that this proves that Trump is finally pivoting!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Tweeting and screaming naked on the WH lawn at dawn with tin hat.

      Because we deserve it.

  • MOG253

    Even in our later years we’re still getting the heave-ho!

  • TJ Barke

    Fuck this administration. Burn it all down.

  • hendenburg2

    okay, now THIS is hilarious… people leaving uber are having to prove that they aren’t assholes when applying for other jobs….

    http://jalopnik.com/companies-are-making-ex-uber-employees-prove-theyre-not-1793047267

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    and YET SHE PERSISTED

    We’re going to be using this phrase a lot, aren’t we?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42e031ded324e81eb33c412eccaa126e4a6e0037abad1c129f1b09d3cbe50c0a.jpg

  • memzilla Ω
    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Uhhhh . . . . is that like, there was some German book in the 1970s?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      All I’m saying is if I had to lie down naked on top of my mom and have my brother lie down naked on top of me, I’d need even more therapy than I already do.

    • Bill D. Burger

      That fulfills the fantasy of more than 95% of the Republican Tea Party caucus.

      • Caepan

        Make them all hold Bibles and you’ll get the other 5%.

    • redarmyzombie

      …Whelp, there went my lunch, and my keyboard…

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      What the actual fuck?!?!

  • goonemeritus

    I understand the basic concept of objectivity but this relativism is what got us here. My little Reaganite son tried to tell me recently that it was just an expected swing of the pendulum. When Obama was in office the pendulum swung left now the pendulum has swung right. I said no, the Trump voters have sawn off the pendulum and bought it an airline ticket all the way to crazy town. He looked at his shoes for a minute, swallowed uncomfortably a few times and then admitted they did.

    • Longstreet63

      You forgot the part where Trump voters took the broken pendulum outside and yelled at it until two in the morning because it was stealing their thoughts.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Reformed career conservative Bruce Bartlett said Obama was center-right in historical terms. The pendulum hasn’t even been swinging left.

      • TJ Barke

        The left swing gets sabotaged by centrist concern trolls.

      • goonemeritus

        I would say it has on some social issues, on the economy, foreign policy and trade I totally agree with you.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Exactly what does ‘in historical terms’ mean? It sounds like the kind of phrase one would use to get away with saying something silly.

        • UnsaltedSinner

          Well, if you transferred Obama to a European country, he would indeed be considered center-right. It’s just that the US doesn’t really have a left, as it’s usually understood in other countries.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            Okay, that actually makes a great deal of sense. Thanks!

    • snigsy

      I hate it when my son thinks he’s a smartypants.

      • goonemeritus

        He kind of is but he seems to have lost the capacity for empathy. I must have dropped him on his head when he was small and then forgot I did it.

    • thewalkindude
    • SayItWithOtters

      He thinks Obama was a wild swing to the left? Don’t let him visit Denmark.

      • goonemeritus

        He doesn’t think Obama was all that far left.

  • Flashman

    Wait. Wha…we have a State Department???

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      For now.

    • veska

      Not for long!

    • boyblue123

      State of confusion

    • UncleTravelingMatt
      • Doug Langley

        Hmmph, you’d think this was the first time they got fired.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, the bill to rename it the “Cash Bribes Only” Department is tied up in committee.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Until the Russian oil leases are signed, then it won’t be necessary any more.

    • Amy!

      Soon to be renamed “Exterior Ministry.” The SoS will be renamed to Chief Exterior Officer. It’s kind of awkward, but Tillerson feels that it will be both more accurate and deeply comforting to him as a person if he can abbreviate his title as “CEO Ex-M”.

  • boyblue123
    • wide_stance_hubby

      I’m making ‘raise the roof’ motions now.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What the actual hell? Someone is doing the right thing in Washington? Somebody get me my faintin’ couch and my clutchin’ pearls, STAT!

      • Gosala

        Nah. They’ll call a few witnesses, say both sides do it and call it a day.

        The only way to get at the bottom of this is an independent investigation with subpoena power and full. press coverage

    • Vincent Ricola
    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy
    • Bill D. Burger

      Republican theme: “Why do the Democrats want to destroy our growing friendly relationship with Russia. Why do they hate America so?”

    • Longstreet63

      Whitewash company stocks rose sharply today on the news…

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      It would be funny if Donnie’s wire tapp accusations were what made this impossible to avoid.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      What did Secretary Clinton know, and when did she know it?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Was OBUMMER been PAID by teh FRENCCH to put MUSSTURD on his CHEESBERGER???!!?!!111!!!???/???

    • Amelia

      One day early for a bday present but I’ll take it. Still have my hopes for a 21st resignation. Trump, Sessions, a Bannon firing, I will accept any or all.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      But will they (be allowed to) find anything?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Schiff will be able to question Comey, Clapper, and Yates. Lots will come out.

        • SayItWithOtters

          Like the Dems were able to question all the Cabinet nominees thoroughly and with all the necessary info at their disposal? Not sure I’d bet on it.

    • Amy!

      Springtime for Twitler and Beauregard …

  • Bill D. Burger

    Good on her! Although in general, with her stammering and sputtering, she makes my ears bleed.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bill D. Burger

      If Price’s ‘brain’ (or what passes for one) were shoved in a bird’s azz’, the poor creature would immediately begin to fly upside down and backwards.

      • bupkus23

        Fly? The poor thing probably couldn’t even manage to walk!

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner
    • Linda1961

      May he roast in hell with ryan and trump.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      The stupid – it burns!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Call me crazy, but I have an issue with these people using the word “care,” because they don’t manifest any evidence of knowing what it means.

    • georgiaburning

      Is he saying that it was much easier to get an appointment when nobody else could afford to go to the doctor?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Lately, Tillerson’s been harder to spot than “Waldo”…..and it’s apparent The Orange Menace relies on Bannon and Kushner for his info on international (and domestic) agenda. Tillerson will be the stooge to Russia to try and secure oil and mineral deals.

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    “Rick Wiles: A Satanic Child Murdering Cabal Is Leading A Coup Against President Trump”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-a-satanic-child-murdering-cabal-is-leading-a-coup-against-president-trump/

    I have the sign-up sheet, if anypony’s interested.

    • Suse

      Me me me!

    • Count Awesome

      Satan must be quite embarrassed that he lost the primary to that Trump douchebag.

      • Duke

        Taylor Swift sat it out until 2020.

      • schmannity

        Trump would just make Satan look bad.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          “Hey, I barely know that dude.”

          ~Satan

    • Duke

      Me 2!

    • veska

      So, Milo is heading up the resistance now?

      • Count Awesome

        He’s sucking up for a little exposure so to speak.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Sure, but if everyone brings that damn Jell-O fruit salad again the potluck is gonna suck.

      • Jamoche

        I tried to make a Google Doc signup sheet, but did anybody use it? Noooo…

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Satanic child murderers are soooo freaking disorganized. Pathetic. Sad.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I can do BBQ, German Potato Salad, Cole Slaw and Chili. It’s a start.

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        We meet in pizza parlors.

    • wait! what?

      As opposed to the murdering satanic child cabal that’s in power now…

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        My VERY first thought.

    • AJ Milne

      Wait… So I can _only_ murder Satanic children?

    • “…Sacrificing children to Satan…”

      In a pizza parlor?

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Admit it: when you first heard about it, you thought “That’s crazy!”

    • Longstreet63

      Will there be pizza?

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        No pineapple. It’s evil.

        • Longstreet63

          I only eat one-topping pizza, therefore I am purer than you.

          • Kiri the Paid Protestor

            Does the cheese count as a topping?

    • RobKanC

      Is it just human babies? Asking for a friend.

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Yes.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I saw this on an episode of Donahue in 1985.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Oh jaysus, they’re bringing back satanic panic too?

    • Caepan

      Whew! And here I was worried!

    • Gosala

      Me! Me!

      *looks around*

      Oops

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Count me in, and I like kids!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Me too! They’re so tender and delicious!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Put a little BBQ sauce on them, and they taste just like pulled pork.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Oh, for Pete’s sake. Do I have to call my lawyer again?”
      -Jonathan Swift.

  • Liberal Fascist Ron

    Somehow none of the ‘explanations’ that I hear about why the frakking Reptards seem to hate the idea of poorer people getting health care – or anything else – are all that satisfying. Under every possible (and impossible) metric, a healthy, productive workforce and a happy population are good for a country, and thus for the people who own most of it. This is true short-term, which is the way they think about the future. It is even more true long-term, which a few of them might dimly realise. It allows you to strut in front of all those other countries and say how good you are at country-ing, and because it’s true it has even more impact.
    And yet their only raison d’être seems to be, ‘Burn it down and skim off the top, Mafia style.’ Unless they’re Real True Christians™ (and I’m pretty sure most of them only pay lip service to the Gospel According To Republican Jesus) they have no reason to settle for scraps now when there’s the probability of a bigger and better payoff that’s guaranteed by a quite tiny investment in the here-and-now. They are literally acting against their own best interests, the way they have conditioned their voters to.
    So what the ever-loving FUCK are they thinking?

    • TJ Barke

      Their little sociopathic reptile brains are running the show.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re not. It’s all about the primal hatred of the other.

    • Longstreet63

      It’s mainly just spite.
      Unhappy people like to see others more unhappy than they are.

    • oldmechanician

      It’s loss aversion. They are afraid of losing the desperate, fearful, ignorant, workforce which has no option but to accept lousy jobs that pay half a days pay for a full days work. Social programs endanger that golden (brass) goose.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      That if they fell for the idea that money – morals and financial success = ethics taught to them by religion, or Daddy or whomever, so damn it all to hell if those who didn’t buy in think they can have the same things! How is THAT even fair?

      I mean, among many, many other stupid things they’re thinking. That line works really well hand in hand with ‘othering’ too, for a nice partnership of assholery.

    • Gosala

      You are giving them way too much credit. Enlightened self interest is not something they understand.

      • bupkus23

        Enlightenment alone is beyond their comprehension – let alone enlightenment about their own interests

    • Miles Monroe

      Poor, sick, and ignorant people are just so much easier to manipulate, exploit, and suppress than secure, healthy, and educated ones.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Successful government programs are terrifying to people who campaign on the idea that government is the problem, not the solution.

  • Duke

    “Could you hear me better with those dicks out of your ears?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • schmannity

      . . . and their premature deaths helped save Social Security.

      • yyyaz

        … for the banksters to tank in only 18 months! Winning!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I wish we could go back to when America was great, and people died at 55 or younger, like they were supposed to, and nobody had to pay income taxes. My grandma died at 34 of breast cancer after working in an asbestos filled textile mill, where’s her medal for doing the right thing?

    • Amy!

      They already have bragging rights to “I helped bring the world to the brink of a financial crisis unimagined since the 1930s, by deregulating financial chicanery.”

  • veska
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Having real trouble getting that page to load. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Wouldn’t it be nice if they were capable of understanding this:

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/839149839795499010

    • veska

      Well, taxes and we can’t have the scary black man leaving a legacy.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They all imagine they’ll win the lottery and need the tax cuts.

    • Longstreet63

      They don’t care.
      All that they want is for all their problems to be someone else’s fault–someone lower on the pecking order than they are. Give ’em that, they vote for you. Promise to punish that other, they will idolize you.
      They have no hope of any better outcome and only wish to ensure somebody has a worse one.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I don’t even think it’s been about taxes on the rich, I think it’s been about “OMG, Obummer might score political points if he insures a lot of people who can’t afford healthcare, let’s try to sandbag him so he won’t be popular.”

  • Brendan_M

    I guess President Trump turning Andrea Mitchell, Morning Joe, and Wolf Blitzer into fearless truth-tellers is a kind of “so much winning”, but I’d prefer continuing to despise them as they hackishly report on a component administration.

    • RobKanC

      Making journalism great again

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’m sorry, the word we were looking for was “tolerable.” “Tolerable.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I suspect she’s been leashed by Mr Zucker’s powerful yearning to reap the whorebucks, but as long as she’s finding it profoundly traumatic, I’m good.

      • Brendan_M

        When MSNBC turned itself into FOX-lite in the run up to the Iraq war, I thought it was a terrible, short-sighted idea, but Bush’s approval ratings were high and a thirst for blood was widespread, so I could see why a stupid person would think it was a good idea. To do it in this climate…I would think shareholders would want to revolt it is so goddamn dumb.

        Replace Morning Joe with Democracy Now and Greta van Sustren with, I don’t know…the reanimated corpse of Che Guevara. If MSNBC had an audience the size of the Women’s March, they’d triple what they have now.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          but advertisers might not pay to talk to them.

          I don’t actually believe that, but I’m pretty sure that’s the calculus.

          • Brendan_M

            I think that, though it has been clear to people here for a while now, it is now becoming fairly wide-spread knowledge that idiots can run large businesses and still fail upwards. They can even run countries.

  • going4baroque

    Everybody in the world has a racket, or causes one

    • snigsy

      Okay, I’ll take the bait: your point is . . . ?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        A brave noncommentor, you are.

        • snigsy

          Still waiting. I guess going4baroque is a drive-by ninner-nanner.

      • going4baroque

        I went fishing only once in my life, I was about 5, caught a turtle, made no sense at all, I didn’t go turtling. I don’t necessarily have a “point”, does LIFE have a point?
        Probably to live it without anxiety about one’s own being. I have no bait, but here’s a classic hook:
        “If I’m out of my mind, it’s all right with me, thought Moses Herzog.” ― Saul Bellow

        • snigsy

          Well thank you! You promptly responded after my second comment. How brave.

          And the point you try to make by quoting Mr Herzog is . . .? (It’s a “big” novel.)

          • going4baroque

            this is my final answer, Regis!
            https://youtu.be/aVevvbFNKiY

          • snigsy

            By writing letters to various people–real and fictional–Moses Herzog finally comes to some sort of equilibrium about his relationship to the reality in which he lives.

            And his many letters are in his head–he doesn’t actually send them.

            Just sayin’

          • going4baroque

            finally gathered the courage, did you (touche’!) to respond to my post without an acccusatory “what’s your point?” ? Kidding, I don’t mind a thing, but yes, Herzog, I’ll be reading it soon, and here’s a wild one by the estimable Wm Shakespeare, from a sonnet:

            They that have power to hurt and will do none,
            That do not do the thing they most do show,
            Who, moving others, are themselves as stone,
            Unmoved, cold, and to temptation slow,
            They rightly do inherit heaven’s graces
            Wm. S.

          • snigsy

            “For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds; / Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.”

            Sorry, mate, if I hurt your feelings. That was not my intention. I simply asked you what your point was.

        • Gosala

          That’s what a five year old would think. They’re weirdly logical in a naive sort of way.

          Random stuff works here, but we tend to be suspicious of trolls.

          I don’t think you’re a troll, but I could be wrong.

          • going4baroque

            a troll! et tu! you could be wrong! So wrong, me being a troll is like Jesus joining a street gang. Could happen I guess, but not bloody likely

          • Gosala

            Well, I see that now (whatever now means)

            Welcome to wonkette. I think you’ll like it here. All we ask is that you not be boring. I don’t think that’ll be a problem.

          • going4baroque

            thanks for the welcome, and let me extend the same to you, as I’ve been lurking in these pages that are an illusion to both of us, for a coupla years now, and I occasionally behave as expected, and while a few indignant but otherwise friendly neighbors have wished a banhammer upon me, so far I’ve been able to make the “protection” payments

    • Msgr_MΩment

      But Trump’s golfing, not tennising.

      • going4baroque

        that’s where he’s causing a racket, maybe, damn, there’s probably a third possibility, I’m not a physicist

        • Gosala

          Racket isn’t physics. It’s computer science.

          https://racket-lang.org/

          • going4baroque

            that tears it, I give up on trying to know anything, and don’t ask me to try to land this crate, either, I’m no aviator, or a gymnast

          • Gosala

            Well no one knows anything, do we? We just go along pretending our sincerely held beliefs are truth.

            One day, when the cosmos ends, then we will see. Not before.

            Snark on, my friend.

          • going4baroque

            you’ve hit upon something essential to any revolution, my friend. the unknowing state is what is true, once the useless beliefs are jettisoned, and let them go, no recycling! The cosmos will quantum jitter sufficient to get us out of this fix, and not an infinite timelessness too soon!

          • Gosala

            Socrates said, “I know that I do not know. ” Then he drank hemlock and died.

            FWIW

          • going4baroque

            that’s not the whole story, but hollywood can probably make a buck with it

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Longstreet63

      According to TrumpCare, Trump’s golfing is a deductible healthcare expense, because his laying on of hands heals scrofula. But only on a golf course, and only if you’re a member. (Deduct that 200K!)

    • hendenburg2

      Honestly I wouldn’t mind people having to chose between iPhones and Healthcare.

      Apple’s business practices are horrible.

    • yyyaz

      How about making the fucking thieving shithead live in the goddamned WH, get rid of his asshole progeny sucking on the public teat with SecSvc providing cover for them and make Melanoma pay for her detail in NYC?

  • Martini Ambassador
    • RobKanC

      Priorities!

    • Carpe Vagenda
    • veska

      (blinks multiple times) O really?

    • Bill D. Burger
    • AJ Milne

      What’s the policy on orange spray tan?

      • Bill D. Burger

        The Wagner Sprayer is deductible!

        • AJ Milne

          (Cracking up at the image this creates… It’s one of those electric ones, and he’s also got a shaving mirror…)

          Creating a sock now so I can upvote this twice.

      • Count Awesome

        The new policy will be that the spray tan chemicals need to be as cheap as possible, thus way more effective at causing than cancer than the sun.

      • badtonto

        LOL!

    • snigsy

      Right now, I could go on a pub crawl with Mr alt-VP. I need a laugh, some encouragement, and a safe avuncular shoulder to lean on.

  • badtonto

    Ya know Evan; I mean kudos to Andrea Mitchell and all but it’s a pretty sad state of affairs when we commend and laud and slobber all over a journalist and reporter for simply doing their job? And also, too, (I always believe in giving credit where credit’s due) a tiny, little tip of the 🎩 to Donald Trump for refusing to attend the White House Correspondents Dinner; your ‘Beltway’ press is waaay too cosy with the political class in your country…I always find it a little nauseating to watch.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Count Awesome

    The makers of “Whack-a-Mole” would make a fortune if they released a new version with little Trumps with itty-bitty hands replacing the moles.

  • Picabo

    I can imagine a multiverse where Mike Royko is still alive and will write a blistering column about this. He took on Richard J. Daley without the coveted access that seems to be required by today’s standards. What am I missing? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b77459d8b0417a9671374e347a2134942d7cb160aff533c69aa39be9f11fafcd.jpg

    • schmannity

      With a notebook, a Selectric, and the Slum Times.

    • Miles Monroe

      Journalistic integrity in the media?

      We miss it, too …

    • Crank Tango

      That’s such a weird computer behind him. No monitor, huh? Interesting.

    • Me not sure

      Whoa! ROYKO IN 3-D!

      • Nockular cavity

        He’s breaking out of the picture frame! You can do that?

    • snigsy

      Again: Oh, sweet, sweet nostalgia, when “ethics” was a concept that many people valued.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • capnkrunch

    Have we talked about Cambridge Analytica before? I don’t recall seeing anything.

    By leveraging automated emotional manipulation alongside swarms of bots, Facebook dark posts, A/B testing, and fake news networks, a company called Cambridge Analytica has activated an invisible machine that preys on the personalities of individual voters to create large shifts in public opinion. Many of these technologies have been used individually to some effect before, but together they make up a nearly impenetrable voter manipulation machine that is quickly becoming the new deciding factor in elections around the world.

    From Scout

    • veska

      Well that’s not creepy or anything.

    • Gosala

      Not to throw cold water on the party, but that site looks like tin foil hat territory.

      Got anything else to corroborate?

    • SnarkON

      Yay technology, I guess?

    • OrG

      Doesn’t work on me.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      What is a Facebook dark post?

    • Paul

      Look into them, they are scary. Also check out who owns them and other associated companies. IIRC there are ties to Trump and Russia. Glaring, blaring ties. Creepy business with even shadier financials. Keep us filled in please.

      I’d do it myself but I’m old and decrepit and forgetful, so you young whippersnappers gotta take up my slack. Besides, I’d have a fucking heart attack from aggravation going down that shithole again. Your Wonketariat is counting on you Capn.

      Tell us more, get folks riled up.

  • Shoto

    I’ll go ahead and give Mrs. Greenspan a pass for throwing a few journalamism questions at Rex “Putin’s BFF” Tillerson earlier today. However, the scoreboard will be wiped clean, effective 12:01 EST tomorrow. It’s up to Mrs. Greenspan to keep herself on the “Not a idiot infotainer hack” list. You’ll forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • UnsaltedSinner

      Did the big white balloon come for her?

    • Doug Langley

      Hey! I found Waldo!

    • Mr. Blobfish
      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Never saw that, like XTC, thanks!

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I have a handful of CD’s and love them. There’s so much more to learn about the band. I was more of a Loud Fast Rules guy back than but have learned to appreciate the pop.

  • schmannity

    Well, I just wasted 20 perfectly good minutes in a Prime Minister’s Questions daydream with Trump in the well of the Senate.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out the door, but I’ll leave this good thought with you good Wonkers:

    https://twitter.com/TomthunkitsMind/status/839250132210233344

    • schmannity

      Don’t worry, he’ll leave once he figures out how to monetize his departure.

      • Longstreet63

        I’d be willing to lobby for a Four year Severance if he would just leave now.

        • Caepan

          As long as he’s paid in pesos.

          • Longstreet63

            Or Rubles.
            It’s a bargain in any currency. He’ll cost us way more than that soon enough.

          • Caepan

            Nah. He’d be able to spend rubles after his buddy Putin gives him exile.

            Paying him off in pesos has more of an O. Henry/Twilight Zone vibe to it.

      • boyblue123

        how about he gets 5 cents an hour helping to make license plates at the nearest federal lock up

    • Gosala

      Non non non non non.
      A thousand times non!

      I want him right where he is where we can laugh him to scorn and paralyze the entire Republican agenda.

      Pence is competent.

      • Nockular cavity

        Competent? Ask Indiana about that.

        • Gosala

          Hated, yes also that too, but he’d be level headed enough to get a lot of shit through before the sit but the fan.

          (I seem to like the word shit tonight in a way that is uncharacteristic)

  • Sheepshagger

    I’m in a state….

    https://youtu.be/w5AbA4HE-ug

    • snigsy

      We’re ALL in a state.

  • Thiazin Red

    Since it open thread time, I’m going to brag about a thing I did. I finished the knitting project I was working on, a sweater like the one Diana wears in Zero Time Dilemma, and it looks pretty good. I am pleased with myself and my skills.

    The only problem is that I made it out of alpaca yarn, which is super warm, so it won’t be cold enough to wear it again till next year.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Thiazin Red

        If I’m honest with myself, I would probably be McCoy if I were on Star Trek.

        • Gosala

          I’d be a red shirt. A Vulcan red shirt, but a red shirt nonetheless

          • Thiazin Red

            As long as you weren’t serving on the Enterprise you should be okay, I can’t believe the death rates were as bad on the other ships.

          • Doug Langley

            The Doomsday Machine
            Where No Man Has Gone Before
            The Ultimate Computer
            Return of the Archons
            The Tholian Web

            If anything, the Enterprise had it easy.

          • therblig

            ST TOS – “The Apple” – 4 redshirts die

            so much for VaalCare

          • Gosala

            Vaal is hungry.

            I am lunch

          • If you haven’t read it, Redshirts by J Scalizi is excellent

          • Thiazin Red

            It really was.

          • My mom loaned me Ready Player One, and i am planning to start this weekend

    • Gosala

      Good for you. I am lacking in creative skills, so I rejoice in yours.

      • SpideySenser

        Don’t even let me near a glue gun. I am the most imaginative/creative/domestically challenged person on the planet.
        But I am a most awesome parallel parker.

        • Gosala

          We all have our special gifts. Mine is being an asshole.

    • snigsy

      Pix?

    • Longstreet63

      Did you harvest it from the alpaca hives yourself?

    • SpideySenser

      So it’ll be like having a brandy-new sweater next year.

  • Longstreet63

    I feel a teensy** bit of conceptual sympathy for old Rex. He was boss of the largest corporation on Earth* and a power in the world. He grabs a senior administration position to grope for yet more power and looks around and sees this bunch of loons telling him what to do–when they remember him at all. Promoted from Boss to Laughingstock.

    **The level you feel for a villain on The Twilight Zone.
    *Didn’t Google it. Need not be literal.

    • Bill D. Burger

      He’s become the “Waldo” of the Trump FUBAR freak show.

    • Jamoche

      Yeah, but how do you become boss of a giant megacorp and then think that becoming a politician is a better idea than just owning them?

      • Longstreet63

        I can see him wandering around his mansion with a tumbler of whiskey mumbling about “Fucking delusions of grandeur…”

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        19.5% of Rosneft

    • snigsy

      Nope, I’m trying hard to feel that teensy, but it’s not happening. I must be a monster or something.

      • Longstreet63

        No, the amount involved is scientifically teensy, and is only conceptual rather than actual. Any actual feeling would be psychosomatic.

        EDIT: The question of you being a monster is not addressed in this paper.

      • Gosala

        So you like canned clams? No? Not a monster. He made his own bed.

    • SayItWithOtters

      He’s the only one of the lot with enough cognitive function to recognize what a complete fucking disaster his decision was.

      • Longstreet63

        Whom the Gods would destroy, they first give a position in the Trump Administration…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Factoid: Rex Tillerson is on record on many, many occasions declaring that fracking is safe, no problems, nada………but, launched lawsuits immediately when he heard that fracking was about to take place within a mile of his 100 acre horse ranch.

      • lucidamente

        NIMBYism is covered by Obamacare.

        • mancityRed6

          was, was covered

    • OrG

      OOPS

    • Nockular cavity

      I was in a recruiting event for ExxonMobil once, and they began with a video presentation, of which the first fifteen minutes’ message was, as my friend put it, “We are wealthy and powerful beyond your wildest imagination.”

      • wait! what?

        Sounds like the first day of seminary.

        • Gosala

          Not a Unitarian, I guess. With them is four years of, “We don’t know what we’re talking about, but we’re gonna say it loud. ”

          Don’t ask how I know.

          • H0mer0

            I resemble that remark!
            (I don’t go anymore since the boys like to sleep in)

          • Gosala

            I was raised Unitarian, but their class snobbery was, finally, too much to bear.

            Mrs. G tells me they’ve gotten better, but…pffft, I’m done with them.

    • mancityRed6

      Maybe he didn’t comprehend the level of incompetence, but I seriously doubt he won’t come out on the other side a richer man,

      • Longstreet63

        How much richer do you need to be? I don’t imagine he’s motivated by mere money any more.

        • Gosala

          To them money is points. You can never run up the score enough.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, as Gosala says.
          to normal people it’s “how rich do I need to be”
          to people like him it’s “how rich can I be”
          now if he pulls a Gates and starts giving….yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Oh, just wait until we’re neck-deep in some Ukraine or Baltic fucktussle. Then we’ll see just how sorry to feel for him. I predict we’ll hate him with the heat of a billion flare-offs. So I’ll just go with an advance “Fuck That Guy” and just nod when the shit starts.

  • Amelia

    Donald Trump: making comedy and (to a point) journalism Great Again(tm).

    Making America an international embarrassment and site of a future(?) dystopia.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Here’s the thing I don’t get about Andrea Mitchell:
    Okay, let’s go ahead and assume you have a deep, personal loathing for Hillary Clinton for some reason. And Hillary is running for president, and you have a huge, major platform from which you can take continual swipes at her, and maybe wreck her candidacy. On the other side is Twitler, whom you know, quite well, is absolutely unqualified for the job and will be an unmitigated disaster, will do exactly what we have now seen him do, and will in all likelihood do irreparable harm to this nation. On the one hand, personal animus; on the other, potential destruction of your country. What in the actual fuck has to be wrong with you that you choose damaging Hillary?

    • redarmyzombie

      I have friends who, unfortunately, tricked themselves into thinking Trump’s behavior was just an act, and that he somehow magically would turn into something better than what he portrayed himself as.

      I think they’re now starting to realize that it wasn’t an act…

      • jowgajen

        But they liked him because he was so authentic and real

        • Thiazin Red

          Ugh, how exactly did people square that? Hes authentic and hates PC, but he never meant any of those thins he said.

      • Crank Tango

        I thought it was an act for the longest time. I mean, I always thought he was an asshole, I just thought he was telling the base whatever they wanted to hear.

        • redarmyzombie

          Oh, to think we were so innocent…

      • Daniel Hooper

        Dear God, did I run into this problem all the time myself. I could list Trump’s numerous faults, in long form or bullet points as needed, but there was always someone who’d always be, “I know, but Hillary…”
        They seemed to think Trump would change. Some how, I told ya so just doesn’t quite express my feelings strongly enough to those wafflers…

        • redarmyzombie

          Oh, I Told You So doesn’t even begin to cover it…

        • Caepan

          For me, “I told you so” quickly became “Thanks for ruining our country and our future, assholes!”

      • Longstreet63

        It was an act.
        But now he won and is stuck with it. His ego won’t let him take a voluntary step back, so we are stuck with the act, too.

        • Gosala

          Not an act. Not an act. You’re the act.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          If it’s an act it’s been running longer than The Mousetrap.

      • Amy!

        Someone told me “yeah, he can’t be that stupid or insane and still have become rich.” I agreed. With the statement. Not, I think, with their reading of it.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It may have something to do with her being married to a human molasses pile who, with his foot-thick tongue, mumbled something about taxes and how Hilary and Bill never return his calls anymore.

    • mancityRed6

      which one gets you better ratings/more clicks?

    • Caepan

      What makes her shitty boss happy?

    • georgiaburning

      The people who are really good at putting on the act aren’t really acting. She obviously never watched much pro wrestling, not that that was a career move until very recently

    • Snopes Shop

      She’s a stupid monster?

  • SnarkON

    Looked at Mitchell’s photo and for a moment was all, “Wow, Kellyanne Conway looks so much better with that haircut, and also she clearly got a good night’s sleep.” #allblondeslookalike

  • Count Awesome

    The way that the Trump administration answers questions it will only be a matter of time until the White House Press Corp thinks that Sean Spicer is the world’s biggest Mr. Mouth game and they start trying to throw things into his mouth.

    • Caepan

      Throwing shoes at him would be a good start.

      • Count Awesome

        This isn’t Iraq…yet.

      • Thiazin Red

        Have to hand it to Bush 2 though, those were some good reflexes.

        • mancityRed6

          I like to think he learned them at home.

        • Caepan

          Especially for a dry drunk idiot.

          Something tells me that he may have had practice dodging pots and pans thrown at him by Laura.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I have no love in my heart for W. That said, I will never cease to be impressed with his shoe-dodging dexterity. That video is still one of the funniest damn things I have EVER seen.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Ah, memories…

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a shoe.”

  • Nounverb911
  • hendenburg2

    Hey everyone, I’m going to indulge in some shameless self-promotion like a common Palin, so be warned…

    Anyway, any Wonkers in the San Diego area, come to Liberty Public Market at 7:00 PM! I’ll be presenting at an event called Nerd Nite San Diego (it’s like TED Talks, but without pretension and with beer. But it’s not Drunk TED Talks, which just got a cease & desist).
    Here’s the website: https://sandiego.nerdnite.com/

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Good for you! I’m in Dumbfucky (KY) or I’d for sure be there!

    • mancityRed6

      if this was the summer of ’92 and I was in Chula Vista, I’d go.
      wait, do the buses run late enough?
      Sorry.

      • hendenburg2

        wait… San Diego has buses?

        • mancityRed6

          yep. I became all too painfully aware how far it was from SDSU to 3rd and H in Chula Vista when I had to leave a Rollins show early in ’93 and the buses stopped around 9ish.

    • I left San Diego in ’85 but my spirit still resides in OB. Will attend in spirit.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Evan, you know I loves ya and all our Wonkette overlords. But giving Andrea Mitchell credit for ONE TIME acting like she remembers what “journalism” is strikes me as akin to watching Dolt 45 read off a teleprompter for an hour and seeing a “pivot” to “being presidential.” I’m just not giving her credit for this. That’s her job. It’s what she’s supposed to do, ask hard questions and refuse to take “NO” for an answer. Just because she and everybody else forgot that in the rush for ratings during the campaign season – sorry, just, no.

    • mancityRed6

      she wasn’t supposed to ask embarrassing questions in front of the guests.

      • Count Awesome

        Probably didn’t eat all her vegetables either too, also.

    • Shanzgood

      I didn’t see it as focusing on giving AM credit for doing her job as a journalist but as a story pointing out how ANY journalist got fucking escorted out of the room for doing her JOB.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        I think she got escorted out of there because her doing her job is so out of character it could be interpreted as a mental break.

        • AJ Milne

          ‘We’re… Ummm… Worried about you, dear…’

        • HogeyeGrex

          That’s the only reason she was invited in the first place.

      • Crank Tango

        I saw it as bragging about an elevator ride.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, except for the parts about being a hero and relatable and stuff.

        But I would like the locals to get wider play in place of some of the human waste and lapdogs who get the interviews now. If the price I pay is sitting still while Evan points out that Andrea Mitchell is only mostly a hack and was practically human in an elevator once, I’m on board. Although I still maintain that Joe and Mika aren’t detail-oriented enough to babbysit.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well, one of the annoying things about a dishonest, incompetent administration is that even a hack journalist can find an acorn once in a while.

    • LucindathePook

      Maybe it’s like with a little kid–“catch them doing good.” Reward the positive behavior, ignore the negative.

  • bookish
    • HogeyeGrex

      Oddly, “govern like a rational human being” not on the list.

  • Picabo

    “Where Anti-Protest Bills Have Been Introduced in State Legislatures”
    https://www.aclu.org/map/where-anti-protest-bills-have-been-introduced-state-legislatures

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘You weren’t given the right to free speech so you could say things we disapprove of!’

  • Bill D. Burger

    Drip…drip…drip….

    [Donald Trump Met Russian Ambassador During The Campaign, Despite Repeated Denials
    On April 27, Trump met Sergey Kislyak in Washington, D.C., before a big foreign policy speech.

    “The big point here is the president himself knows what his involvement was, and that’s zero,” Huckabee Sanders said on March 3. “And I think that he’s the primary person that should be held responsible, and he had no interaction, and I think that’s what the story should be focused on.”

    But according to a May 13, 2016 report in The Wall Street Journal noticed by AmericaBlog, Trump had interaction with Kislyak on April 27, right in the midst of campaign season.

    The communication happened right before Trump delivered a foreign policy speech at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C.

    The Wall Street Journal reported:

    “I believe an easing of tensions, and improved relations with Russia—from a position of strength only—is possible, absolutely possible,” Mr. Trump said in a foreign-policy speech at Washington’s Mayflower Hotel in April. “Some say the Russians won’t be reasonable. I intend to find out.”

    A few minutes before he made those remarks, Mr. Trump met at a VIP reception with Russia’s ambassador to the U.S., Sergey Ivanovich Kislyak. Mr. Trump warmly greeted Mr. Kislyak and three other foreign ambassadors who came to the reception.
    It is not clear what Trump and Kislyak discussed, or how extensive the interaction was. The New York Times also recently mentioned that Kislyak had attended Trump’s speech.]

    http://americablog.com/2017/03/newsmax-trump-met-russian-amb-kislyak-last-april-despite-denials.html

    • Count Awesome

      Is the Trump administration pissing all over itself from all the leaks?

      • Caepan

        So that’s what’s making Trump so angry!

        He doesn’t want to piss himself – he pays hookers to do that!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      More fake news from the failing Wall Street Journal. Sad.

  • dee

    This administration is beyond terrible. I urge everyone to share this kind of stuff on all their social media, comment on news sites, contact state and federal legislators regularly. In future years I want to be able to face my grandchildren; tell them that people resisted and I was one of them.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Did we find Tillerson from central casting when they rejected him as an extra from Mad Men, claiming he looked too early 1950’s?

  • Nounverb911
  • bookish

    http://www.mediaite.com/tv/devin-nunes-on-wiretapping-tweets-trumps-a-political-neophyte-people-keep-taking-him-literally/

    When asked about why he’s calling it a question as opposed to what actually seemed like a “declarative statement” from the president, Nunes responded thusly:

    The president is a neophyte to politics. He’s been doing this a little over a year, and I think a lot of the things he says, you guys sometimes take literally. Sometimes he doesn’t have 27 lawyers and staff looking at what he does, which is I think at times refreshing and at times can also lead us to have to be sitting at a press conference like this… But at the end of the day, I think tweets are a very transparent way for a politician of any rank to communicate with their constituents. So I don’t think we should attack the president for tweeting.

    • wait! what?

      Don’t attack Donald for Donald attacking people in his tweets, got it.

    • HogeyeGrex

      “Hey. If you wanted somebody who knew what they were doing…”

    • Persistent Demme

      STFU, Nunes.

  • Nounverb911

    Shipped home in a box? What are you inferring Mikey?
    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/839230066592735233

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Is “brown gates” what the kids are calling it these days?

    • BoziSpicer

      An excellent idea, Mikey. Will you be stopping at Dover AFB?

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        iswydt

      • shivaskeeper

        He hasn’t earned the right to land at Dover. Flat feet and all that.

    • Crank Tango

      Is running brown gates a diarrhea euphemism that I’m not familiar with?

      • mackafritz

        I had the same thought.

        • Crank Tango

          It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Coffin, with a layer of his native earth, so he can rest?

    • Count Awesome

      That didn’t end well for Waldo Jeffers.

      https://youtu.be/-qkM7Tp3IvY

      • Nockular cavity

        Yes! Get Waldo’s not-really-girlfriend with the giant scissors!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Wait, he was just in Norway? I thought I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if five million voices suddenly cried out in terror.

      On second thought, it is a pity that we didn’t manage to detain him for a cavity search before he left.

    • therblig

      you can ship feces? who knew?

    • Yr. Gma

      You in a box sounds like a good idea, Fat Mike.

    • ariel_gee_398

      And what the fuck was he doing in Norway? Visiting Anders Breivik?

      • Probably

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”

      • Amy!

        “AB is a guy who understands the second amendment!”

        — Hucksterbee, probably

  • Count Awesome

    Ancient Rome had it all wrong: who needs gladiator fights when the sideshow can be the government itself.

  • bookish

    http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-exxon-tweets-tillerson-ethics-2017-3

    The touting of Exxon’s move fit with Trump’s promise that jobs would be created in the country under his watch. But it entered a “gray area” in terms of ethically acceptable language and promotion from the White House of an individual business, experts said.

    “They ought to be careful,” Richard Painter, a law professor at the University of Minnesota and former top ethics lawyer for President George W. Bush, told Business Insider. “I mean, we would advise them to distance themselves, congratulate a company for the good work they do creating jobs, but not doing so much that it looks like you’re shilling for the company.”

    Painter said it was “unusual” to be “mentioning a particular company this much.”

    Rep. Elijah Cummings, the ranking member on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, made his objection to Trump’s promotion of Exxon’s move clear in a statement to Business Insider.

    “The White House has now become the mouthpiece of the oil industry — literally,” the Maryland Democrat said. “This is certainly the opposite of the president’s promise to drain the swamp.”

    • Caepan

      former top ethics lawyer for President George W. Bush

      Now there’s a job that screams “no experience necessary”!

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Experience might even have been a hindrance.

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner

    I racked up $42 in library late fees, including $33 for a book I had completely forgotten to return for months.

    I’d better go to the library.

    • msanthropesmr

      Might be cheaper to go to amazon.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        You may have a point. Even when I can get books for free, I end up paying for them by racking up late fees. Sigh.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      You could get 1- 5 for that. Librarians don’t kid around.

    • Sister the Resister

      One time I paid late fees and a lost book fee to the state library because I could not find the damn thing I borrowed. When I moved a couple of years later, I found the book and kept it (early 1900s architecture thingey). I’ve never felt 100% okay about it, but the book still sits on my shelf to this day, so I must not be feeling too much pain over it either. It kind of turned me off taking books out of the library, though.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        Same. I haven’t borrowed any books in months because they tend to get buried under a pile of something or other. The one I owe $33 on was under a pile of crap in my car. Out of sight, out of mind. :/

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Y’know maybe if State started doing daily press briefings like, I don’t know, in EVERY OTHER ADMINISTRATION, then Andrea Mitchell wouldn’t have to haul her very expensive ass to fucking photo ops to get a question asked.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Wait, why is Andrea doing Journalisms again..? Someone spike her coffee..?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Her husband has always been a great proponent of the theory that rich people are finer and more classy than the rest of us. He probably doesn’t appreciate all of her in kind contributions to Trump’s campaign.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie got a wedgie.
    Donnie got a wedgie.
    https://twitter.com/TrumpsChinFat/status/839161303340105730

    • schmannity

      Well, there’s 2 minutes down the drain.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
  • Me not sure

    Elaine Chao (she doesn’t want to be associated with the name of her “roommate”) pretty much admitted this week that we would all be paying tolls and fees to private entities to use all of this new “public-private partnership” infrastructure that’s going to be built. Thank God Eisenhower didn’t feel that way when we began the Federal Interstate Highway System.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f17b3d8ac440b8af9c3f59321568758e74e2c011c1179e27a1c8f4a625d5a7df.jpg “Bend over, this is gonna’ hurt.”

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Umm, I don’t think that cane is going to be used for what we think it’s gonna be… :/

      • Me not sure

        “I’ll have none of your sass, boy!… Wait…did I say sass?”

    • Count Awesome

      “No thank you sir. May I please not have another one.”

    • mancityRed6

      thank dog I only live 3 miles from work.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Or maybe Elaine Chao is just a grown-ass human being who doesn’t see why she should take on a man’s name when she has a perfectly good name of her own? Just spit-ballin’ here. #feminismfail

  • Chadwells

    Interesting.

    Reading a story about the conservative media going to war over DampnutCare because they all hate it and….Breitbart “is taking the most aggressive stance.”

    Something is SUPER fishy about that. Super scammy. Super fucking shady.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Sure. Because their guy is totally going to be inside the Oval Office if the delusional old white people rebel.

    • mancityRed6

      I saw two stories. One had over 4k comments on it. I read it until they quoted Malkin and had to stop since I still kinda want to eat tonight.
      I didn’t make that jasmine rice for nothing.

      • yyyaz

        Discretion. Valor. Survival. Something.

    • Caepan

      Maybe Bannon is having a sad because his minion Trump kicked him off Air Force One before he left for his weekend in Florida. So he told his flying monkeys at BreitbartIsDead to make Trump feel sad in retaliation.

      You know how bitter a spurned lover can be sometimes…

    • mancityRed6
      • Chadwells

        Exactly what I was reading.

        • mancityRed6

          I scrolled down from the link Nounverb supplied above.

    • Scrofula

      Trump/Bannon are prolly going against Ryan et al. for not backing up the Tapp harder.
      Like, back our bullshit, or we won’t back your bullshit.
      I mean, that is how they think.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Nah. My read is that they are deliberately coming out against it so there is a record that they didn’t like it when it fails.

  • bookish

    https://www.axios.com/the-dems-long-term-digital-plan-to-beat-trump-2304486257.html

    The super PAC that spent nearly $200 million trying to elect Hillary Clinton is now diving into a major and long-term digital effort to defeat Republicans and Donald Trump.

    Guy Cecil, who runs Priorities USA, tells me his group spent more than $35 million on digital in 2016, and they’re applying lessons learned from the cycle to a new digital outfit. They’re in the early stages, so details are still light.

    He’s in the process of hiring an initial digital staff of at least 25 people, and plans to build an operation that will share its work with groups right across the progressive “resistance.” He doesn’t have a fixed budget yet, but the group has proven deep pockets and access to Democratic mega-donors like Jay Pritzker and George Soros.

    • Courser_Resistance

      So THAT’s where my Soros protest dollars are going! Sounds good to me!

    • georgiaburning

      I could be hopeful except for 11/9/16…YOU HAD ONE JOB!

  • Nounverb911
  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    I’ve been bedridden in an actual fever dream for the past 3 days, nodding in and out of wonkette when possible. Today I got around to peeking outside, and WTF is going on?!?! Vault 7? Chao’s Freudian slip about foreign toll roads? Did I slip into a coma and this is all in my head? If not, can I please slip into a coma until this all ends?

    • Picabo

      “Pick bananas. Attribution: “Gravity”s Rainbow”.

    • The Wanderer

      I’ve been contemplating being dead for the rest of Lord Dampnut’s term.

    • Scrofula

      I hate to tell you, but you’ve been fine this whole time.

      • AJ Milne

        (… or somehow we’re all having the same dream.)

    • yyyaz

      Got insurance for that needed induced-coma? “Sorry, pre-existing conditions void your policy. Press pound to take the survey.”

  • shaar dula

    drained from yet another day of metaphorically waving the freedom flag. Old Glory, as always, flies unforced and in pride on a thick dowel attached to the house. But the freedom flag only reluctantly & grudgingly.

    http://thehill.com/sites/default/files/styles/thumb_small_article/public/blogs/russian.flag_.jpg

    The entire existence seems like a false flag.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • shaar dula

      thats the whole mind-boggling point right? the level to which conservatives have freaked out.that they are bending over themselves to validate THIS GUY. Think about it.

  • Nounverb911
    • schmannity

      He looks like one of those doctors who prefer Kools.

      • Crank Tango

        I thought he was a French philosopher.

        • Vecchioivan

          Jean-Paul Fart?

        • redarmyzombie

          The Marquis de Suck?

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Jacques Derridon’t?

        • NellCote71

          Kindly go Foucault yourself.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Beaucoup upvotes!

      • Count Awesome

        And the one that sold me that kidney in a back alley.

      • NellCote71

        As mentioned in a comment many months ago (if comments were allowed), he looks like the kind of doctor who would prescribe medical marijuana without asking any questions. Not that there is nothing wrong with that.

    • shaar dula

      lol. rofl.

      imma excercise my bragging rights here a little bit. she my people.

      • BosGrl

        Paesan!

    • Count Awesome

      “I’m not a doctor, but I play one for Trump.”

      • Vecchioivan

        He likes to play doctor.

        • Count Awesome

          I bet he plays doctor alone quite often.

    • Vecchioivan

      Meow!

    • cheetojeebus

      Dr Benway 2.0

      • puredog

        Dr. Benwa?

      • Lamashtar

        …Wow. I knew of grand old internet personality called Doc Benway for years without knowing the name was based on a fictional character.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
    • TJ Barke

      My theory on why he sees that doctor is because his ego won’t accept all the constant bad news that competent doctors were giving him about his likely terrible health.

      • schmannity

        Mr. Trump, have you lost weight? You look terrific.

      • Sister the Resister

        I share your theory, and suspect the doc is fully cognizant of it.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      He looks like a doctor who would recommend having your appendix put back in.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    https://twitter.com/JakeLaperruque/status/839224738971062278

    Prepare the leaks, and can somebody stuff a sock in Nunes’ lying mouth?

  • Nounverb911
    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Moar people dying, hurray………………. *screams into the void*

    • Crank Tango

      Oh I’m sure the invisible hand will take care of them.

    • BosGrl

      Then where the hell are their lobbyists? Don’t just say it on NPR.

      • yyyaz

        What is their total penetration now? 0.05-0.10%?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Freedum isn’t free sheeple.

      • yyyaz

        Ask Somalia.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby
  • bookish

    Mark Murray, senior political editor for NBC News.
    @mmurraypolitics

    Conservative GOP opposition to GOP health care bill.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/mmurraypolitics/status/839162640555442177/photo/1

  • Nounverb911

    Mental Ben has replaced his “Jeebus and Me” painting with this:
    https://twitter.com/darth/status/839208669849923584

    • wait! what?

      The hands are peefect.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Uri Geller libel.

    • LucindathePook

      Didn’t think Frump owned a bathrobe.

  • Stephen Scotto

    Tillerson looked sort of clueless. I’m thinking he quits in about a month.

    • Does he get to keep his Rosneft shares if he does?

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        Ups for taking up the “rogue attacking” from yesterday!

      • yyyaz

        To the victor, etc.

    • shaar dula

      Insha Jeezus.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      If Tillerson (resignation), Carson (luggage search), DeVos (potato), Sessions (arrested), et al are gone, who will 25th Amendment Little Donnie out the door?!?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        The Generalz. Ponder that!

        • Ωbjectifier

          It’s about time we had a good old-fashioned military coup.

          • georgiaburning

            Well, the military believes in universal coverage health care with a single payer….

          • Lordpnut

            Ponder the surreal irony that in Donald’s cabinet Marine Corps General “Mad Dog” Mattis looks like the dope-smoking free love hippie in the bunch.

      • Stephen Scotto

        Me! Call me!

  • marxalot

    Welp, I skinned my ass again doing Alternative Lunch pilates, but I get to go home in half an hour and my brain is working again.
    And it takes my mind off wondering when I’ll have to start boiling the water before I use it, and if that will even help. Do we still have an EPA?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I don’t think that you can boil lead out.

      • marxalot

        See, that’s what worries me.

      • yyyaz

        But you can flare off the methane!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I love your sunny, optimistic nature.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          It’s fun and healthy!

      • Serai 1

        No, they’ll sell you special filters for that.

        • Lord Jim

          No need. Bechtel corporation will process the public water supply that Republicans sold to them before they sell a bottle to us.

    • georgiaburning

      We’ll be like Mexico. 1.5 litre bottles of water will be reasonably priced. Nestle’s profits will be on volume

      • mancityRed6

        they’ll just buy pepto bismol from proctor and gamble.

      • aureolaborealis

        If we were more like Mexico, albuterol inhalers would be $3.50 without insurance or a scrip. I’m all insuranced up, and my co-pay is more than $20.

  • bookish

    Fact check Trump claims about Guantanamo Bay detainees.

    http://abc30.com/news/fact-checking-trump-on-guantanamo-bay-detainees/1788845/

    • Serai 1

      What the fuck is he claiming now? Wait, don’t tell me – they’re having Saturday night parties with hookers, beer and blow?

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Carpe Vagenda

        Soylent kebabs are sheeple.

      • I suppose with all the Mexicans gone, there’s no more taco tuesday

        • Scrofula

          Or any lunch without linecooks.

      • TJ Barke

        I prefer their early work.

      • Serai 1

        That story was much better before they stuck that cannibalism twist in there. It threw off the point of the tale.

    • mancityRed6

      great, just great
      thanks for leaking their plan B

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Hey, mancityRed6, turns out, that line of thunderstorms last night was serious business, eh?

        • mancityRed6

          not here, but elsewhere I hear.
          it just rained and thundered for awhile here, it was over before I went to bed
          there was one really loud clap of thunder that sent the cats scampering.
          Karl, the 15 pound orange one actually hid under the couch

    • redarmyzombie

      Great, now North Korea is mocking us. Thanks a lot, assholes…

      • TJ Barke

        Parody account. Still funny though.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, pretty clearly an Onion-style take.

        • redarmyzombie

          I know, I know, but at this rate…

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Damn onion ninjas!

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        NO I AM CRYING SHIT IM SORRY HILLARY

    • shaar dula

      ms. hillary there are men out there in towns not in your village who always believed in you and still pine for you. you know that right?

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      deep wistful sigh

    • Amy!

      I’m still with her!

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies
  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/house-trump-russia-investigation-hearing-235789

    The House Intelligence Committee is asking former Obama administration officials to testify in its first open hearing this month as part of the panel’s investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election.

    Those being asked to testify March 20 include former CIA Director John Brennan, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper and former acting Attorney General Sally Yates, who was fired by President Donald Trump in January after refusing to defend his travel ban executive order in court. FBI Director James Comey and NSA Director Mike Rogers were also asked to testify.

    House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) told reporters the witnesses were being asked to testify willingly and that he did not plan to issue subpoenas at this point.

    He also said the invite list could be expanded.

    The Intelligence panel is conducting a wide-ranging investigation that will include looking into contacts between Russian officials and the Trump campaign.

  • Nounverb911
    • therblig

      make sure the enema says “Barium” not “Polonium”?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        He is very overweight. Could die suddenly.

      • BoziSpicer

        If you use polonium, then you barium.

  • BadKitty904

    Issue that woman a pitchfork and a torch!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Catching up on the news. It appears Trump is bonkers.

    https://youtu.be/I1i-pbEjGms

    • BadKitty904

      I’m not sure Trump-bites-dog really qualifies as “news” any more.

  • azeyote

    she’s so feeble now that she must have been saving enough energy to resist – at least once – for a long long time

  • Nounverb911
    • Count Awesome

      What about Grindr account?

      • TJ Barke

        Skipped it, went straight the the cell#

      • BadKitty904

        Ew.

    • BosGrl

      I can’t keep up with this guy. They either need to settle down and get married or break up for good.

      • BadKitty904

        Fiddle-de-dee!

    • Red Bird Ω

      That sounds like they had a first date.

    • mancityRed6

      sounds like tRump took him out for taco bowls.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      This is why I keep warning you guys not to fall for Miss Lindsey. She will break your heart.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Think of all the health insurance he could have purchased if he didn’t get a new phone.

      • MedusaX

        Actually, one could interpret his comment to be Shade directed at Chaffetz’ stupid AF iPhone vs. insurance crap

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/carter-page-russia-trip-trump-corey-lewandowski-235784

    A few weeks before he [Trump adviser Carter Page] traveled to Moscow to give a July 7 speech, Page asked J.D. Gordon, his supervisor on the campaign’s National Security Advisory Committee, for permission to make the trip, and Gordon strongly advised against it, Gordon, a retired Naval officer, told POLITICO.

    Page then emailed Lewandowski and spokeswoman Hope Hicks asking for formal approval, and was told by Lewandowski that he could make the trip, but not as an official representative of the campaign, the former campaign adviser said. The adviser spoke on the condition of anonymity because he has not been authorized to discuss internal campaign matters.

    The trip is now a focus of congressional and FBI investigations into Russian influence in the 2016 presidential election.

  • Serai 1

    Interesting.

    Clarence Thomas has changed his mind about Civil Forfeiture

    It appears his opinion opens the door to cases that could change the law. This could be big.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Clarence Thomas has a mind?

    • therblig

      did someone hack his latest seance with dead scalia?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I get in trouble around here for saying this, but Thomas is much more consistent than Scalia, from the standpoint of having a judicial philosophy and sticking to it.

        Now, that philosophy is wildly extreme, but it’s a philosophy.

        For Scalia’s pretense to “originalism” whatever that is, he was always happy to do whatever it took to get to the decision he wanted.

        tl;dr Both terrible, but in different ways.

        Given that Thomas doesn’t even think Eminent Domain should be a thing, I’m not that surprised he is skeptical of Civil Forfeiture.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Now, that philosophy is wildly extreme, but it’s a philosophy.

          https://youtu.be/J41iFYO0NQA

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I’ll waive Godwin in this case, because it’s shockingly accurate.

    • BadKitty904

      And how does this benefit his wife’s lucrative lobbying?

    • schmannity

      Was this learned in a seance with Scalia?

    • mancityRed6

      so this is what happens when you pull Scalia’s hand out of his ass, he asks questions and now this.
      weird.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      About time he figured out what a crock of shit civil forfeiture is.

    • Gosala

      So he slipped the leash of dead Scalia?

  • Nounverb911

    Since when is donnie friends with Rand Paul?

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/839268048313929729

    • TJ Barke

      A disaster for whom?

      • BadKitty904

        The Republican Party.

      • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

        For those assholes who want to live.

        • yyyaz

          Fucking takers.

    • BadKitty904

      Not if Bland Paul ever intends to run for public office again.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Since when does Donnie have friends?

      • BosGrl

        Friends/minions, potato/potatoe

    • Picabo

      Wait . . . what? Dolt 45 supplicating?

    • Red Bird Ω

      I think that means he has something on Rand.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Wait’ll he sees the cost in money and lives for TrumpCare.

    • Count Awesome

      I think they’ve bonded over tales of how their hair behaves strangely.

      • janecita

        They like talking about Aqua Buddha.

    • mancityRed6

      if I didn’t know better, that sounds like a thinly veiled threat.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The original draft was

        “I feel sure that my friend @RandPaul will come along with the new and great health care program if he knows what’s good for him”

        but it’s not shabbat, so Jared was there to thinly veil it for him.

    • Shanzgood

      How can he know it’s a disaster if he says it’s too complicated to understand?

      Fuckwit.

      • Count Awesome

        Trump must think it’s an art house or French film.

      • Delu

        Knowing stuff has never been a barrier for Trump to tweet or say shit about that same stuff.

        Look at his remarks on Obama wiretapping him and “putting Hillary Clinton in jail”.

        None of those things can actually be done by a President, Trump never knew.

        Yet never cared before he opened his yap.

    • Amy!

      Is this DJT snarking on Paul to produce an alternative? Put up or shut up?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Does TrumpCare cover right-wing paranoia? Because I think I’m catching it…

    … Little Donnie says massive voter fraud during election
    … a secret Obama government is conducting a “silent coup” against Drumpf
    … So-called judges can be ignored
    … media lies
    … government lies (e.g. unemployment, global warming, balance of trade)
    … crime/danger/terrorism/war

    I think he’s setting the stage to somehow cancel 2018 or 2020 election.

    • TJ Barke
    • WomanInThePersistence

      He may be trying to. Because he is a idiot.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • TJ Barke

      I better set up my partisan brigade now…

    • BadKitty904

      I fear the Republican Congress FAR more than I do Sniffles the Clown.

      • TJ Barke

        What you really need to fear is them swearing allegiance to him and meaning it.

        • BadKitty904

          Their allegiance is solely to the GOP and its corporate owners. Donnie’s not even on the list.

          • TJ Barke

            You think they don’t want a pro corporate fascist autocrat running the country?

          • BadKitty904

            They do if their owners tell them they do. But Donnie’s FAR too unstable for that role. Pence is the perfect Christo-Corporate Ayatollah.

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        So Ulthar went to sleep in vain anger; and when the people awaked at dawn—behold! every cat was back at his accustomed hearth! Large and small, black, grey, striped, yellow, and white, none was missing. Very sleek and fat did the cats appear, and sonorous with purring content. The citizens talked with one another of the affair, and marvelled not a little. Old Kranon again insisted that it was the dark folk who had taken them, since cats did not return alive from the cottage of the ancient man and his wife. But all agreed on one thing: that the refusal of all the cats to eat their portions of meat or drink their saucers of milk was exceedingly curious. And for two whole days the sleek, lazy cats of Ulthar would touch no food, but only doze by the fire or in the sun.

        • BadKitty904

          “...And in the end, the burgesses passed that remarkable law which is told of by traders in Hatheg and discussed by travellers in Nir; namely, that in Ulthar, no man may kill a cat.

          • Gosala

            Pussy cat, pussy cat
            Where have you been?
            I’ve been to London
            To visit the Queen.

            Pussy cat, pussy cat
            What did you there?
            I frightened the mousies
            Under her chair

            –A.A.Milne

          • Sister the Resister

            I always liked that one. Something about mice being under the monarch’s chair, old castles, something something…

        • Lord Jim

          Uptentacled for Lovecraft citation!

      • Serai 1

        I fear them more than Pennywise the Clown.

    • Count Awesome

      Trumpcare will be just like the standoff at Malheur; there will be a lot of noise about it and then people will realize everything they don’t have and it will be “send TP” all over again.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I believe Mental Health care is out…Trumpkins don’t think they need it.

  • bookish

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-adviser-jeffrey-jd-gordon-speak-russia-ambassador-sergey-kislyak-us-relations-isis-a7616436.html

    A former adviser to Donald Trump has told The Independent he met with the Russian ambassador to the US five months before the election to discuss how Moscow and Washington could work together to tackle Islamist extremism if the New York tycoon became President.

    The adviser, Jeffrey “JD” Gordon, said he spoke to Sergey Kislyak at the Republican National Convention in July about Mr Trump’s desire to reset the strategic relationship. He said he knew the Republican nominee was interested in whether the US military might work with Russia to combat Isis in Syria, though such specifics were not brought up.

    “[We should] cooperate more against radical Islamic extremists; we should not have situations where people are coming from Chechnya to blow up the Boston marathon. We should listen to the Russians when they are warning us about terror suspects,” Mr Gordon said about his conversation. “This was about it. It was maximum five minutes.”

    • BosGrl

      But apparently this is of no consequence in Bizzarro America.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Somebody’s got a little Polonium in their future?

      • therblig

        so when kislyak begs for asylum, does trumpy grant it, knowing it will confirm all the contacts between his campaign and putin, or does he send the poor guy home to certain death?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “He asked for asylum, so we put him in one.”
          — Trump handles the problem

        • aureolaborealis

          He got what he needed out of him, didn’t he? No need to get sentimental.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From Charles Pierce:
    “This is also why it is RepubliCare. Congressman Jason Chaffetz on Tuesday morning dropped a gorgeous, meaty, ready-made attack-ad into the debate over the bill. Appearing on CNN, Chaffetz, who is rapidly catching up to Rick Santorum in the category of colossal dickitude, said this, per The Washington Post:

    “We are getting rid of the individual mandate. We are getting rid of those things that people said that they don’t want. And, you know what? Americans have choices. And they’ve got to make a choice. So maybe, rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on, maybe they should invest that in health care. They’ve got to make those decisions themselves.”

    Apparently, cellphones are the new Cadillacs and big, black bucks buying steaks.* I do disagree with the headline. This argument is not “revived” by what Chaffetz said. It never went away. It is the foundation of all conservative social policy since the New Deal kicked over the apple cart. It gussies itself up in different ways, and it occasionally chooses new victims to wound, but it never goes away. It’s all they have, as this new bill demonstrates.

    *I made this same joke about Cadillacs earlier. I swear to God that if racism ended tomorrow, everyone would hate the GOP’s stupid fucking ideas. The only way they sell their stupidity to the rubes is by saying “here, look, we’re going to fuck some poor black people over.”

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a53694/republican-healthcare-plan/

    • cmd resistor

      Wow, that first paragraph I thought was from WOnkette when I first read it.

    • aureolaborealis

      I like how these dicks are so out of touch that they don’t know that regular folks get a free (or near-free) smart phone when they sign their lives away to their phone/internet company.

  • janecita

    Did you guys see this video of Trump, greeting school children today at the White House? Notice the picture behind him!
    http://m.wbrc.com/myfoxal/db_368997/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=IwNnQYax

    • cmd resistor

      Made me sad comparing him to Obama and how he was with kids. But the pic is funny.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Yep. Even Tweety just mentioned it on MSNBC. The Trump team is not known for their keen sense of optics.

    • mancityRed6

      “Potus came out to greet the first wave of WH tourists. Pulled Jack Cornish, age 10 from Birmingham, Alabama out of the crowd.”
      Did he give him back?

      • janecita

        He probably ate him!

        • yyyaz

          At the least the poor kid will need rabies shots.

        • Suse

          Well done with ketchup!

          • janecita

            Leave it to him to ruin perfectly good, young human flesh!

    • BadKitty904

      What sort of parent would allow their child anywhere near the Paedo-President?

      • OrG

        A bad one?

      • janecita

        Ignorant, wingnut parents. There are a lot of those.

      • therblig

        the kind who think trump tower taco bowls are authentic.
        or even food.

    • Chris

      The ultimate Photobomb!!!!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I see that as fucking sweet trolling. I’d like to think that some of the staff scoped the situation and swapped paintings just before the photo op.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Fire the decorator!

      • janecita

        Deport the decorator!

  • Suse

    Tweety is wearing his balls today!

    • georgiaburning

      Once a month they open the vault where they’re kept?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Geraldo Rivera libel.

    • snark-lurker

      shucks i missed it

  • janecita

    Christopher Ruddy is on TV again!!! Wtf is that man blowing to be on TV every fucking night?!

    • Suse

      That’s why I commented on Tweety below.

      • janecita

        And you were totally right, he found his balls tonight.

        • yyyaz

          Tweety haz ballz? I need a double, stat.

          • Suse

            He only brings them out on very rare occasions.

          • Yr. Gma

            Ew.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            A month and a half of incompetence and corruption and everyone thinks they’re Edward R. Murrow?

          • Suse

            Yeah – the noive!

          • Latverian Diplomat

            We’ll see if it lasts…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      What channel? I saw his BS on GMA this morning. I think Newsmax is even shittier than Fox because it goes out over HD to the oldz and poorz that don’t have cable.
      This article is really interesting about viewing patterns and how they vary by age and by race.
      http://www.marketingcharts.com/television/are-young-people-watching-less-tv-24817/

      • janecita

        He was on MSNBC, Hardball.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Women’s General Strike tomorrow. Wear red, shop only at woman-owned enterprises, stay off Facebook, send money to your favorite woman-owned muckraking website. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bdfe578bac3ab1878146d53a9734b0c8ff6c09db358574b440672cbb3271502e.jpg

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Mrs. Itt is taking a personal day tomorrow.

      It doesn’t get any more personal.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        You mean itt doesn’t get any more personal (winky face)

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “I’m taking a personal day also.”
        — Woden

    • janecita

      I’m staying home, wearing red, and going out to lunch with a good friend, so we can talk shit about her, very nice, but lazy AF husband.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance
      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        Don’t let it jump on you!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I scheduled off for this last month, but since I’ve been laid up the last 2 days I have to go in. Sad, also weak, literally. OTOH minihontas has a solidarity walk out at his middle school, so one of us will be representing.

  • bookish

    http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/3/6/14827604/trump-tower-baku
    A lengthy new investigative story published by Adam Davidson in the New Yorker reveals that Donald Trump’s business dealings in Azerbaijan likely violated the Foreign and Corrupt Practices Act, and may have served as a conduit for money-laundering and other underhanded activities undertaken by the Iranian Revolutionary Guard.

    It’s a very long New Yorker-y story that deserves your time and attention. But one of the main things it shows isn’t anything specific to Azerbaijan or Iran. It’s simply that we know very little overall about who Trump is in business with currently — and even less about who he has been in business with in the recent past.

    The kind of exacting scrutiny that his finances would necessarily undergo in the event of a thorough investigation of Trump’s possible links to the Russian government would bring an enormous amount to light about a huge range of deals. That, in turn, might uncover illegal or scandalous activity that, like this story about Trump in Azerbaijan, has no apparent relationship at all with Vladimir Putin or Russian intelligence.

    http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/03/07/washington-publication-runs-piece-that-toes-line-for-azerbaijans-power-couple/

    http://www.newsweek.com/trump-organization-struck-deal-azerbaijani-oligarch-tied-irans-revolutionary-564387

    • OrG

      Seems like the kind of thing that would call for an investigation.

      • bookish

        Bigly.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Sorry, but we have 57 warmed over fake Obama scandals to investigate first. There just isn’t the time…”
        — Jason Chaffetz

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Bookie, you are one of the only Wonketeers that I follow who posts links with no context and I always read them. In other words, you are offering Value to this message board for recipes, snark and dick jokes and I thank you for it.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Needz moar orange.

      Seriously, that skin tone looks positively healthy.

  • shaar dula

    recurring dreams. not pg. not worth risking. involves issues resolved best by votes,

  • going4baroque

    Just spitballing here, but I think Andrea may have happened upon a scheme whereby the sec of state was gonna do a weapons for toyotas deal, clandestine like, cut out the middle man, your car dealer, so the profit just goes shooting up there to the top 1%
    https://youtu.be/-nrGWwHalCU

  • aktlib101

    Interesting piece in The Guardian, on Universal Basic Income, from a Dutch author:
    “Utopian thinking: the easy way to eradicate poverty” and
    “Keeping people poor is a political choice we can no longer afford, with so much human potential wasted. We need a universal basic income”
    What will Republicans and Little Shitler have to say about this?
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/06/utopian-thinking-poverty-universal-basic-income

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Socialism, it’ll never work, trickle down, job creators, soft bigotry of low expectations, etc.”
      — Reince Priebus’ robot double

      • aktlib101

        Neither does Universal Health Coverage. Bad idea. Who will profit then?

        • wavicles

          Us as a nation so, uhh, nope.

    • Jamoche

      “entitlements! entitlements! entitlements!”

      • aktlib101

        Hehe, tax cuts ! Trickle down. Reaganomics. Yuuge !

  • Suse

    Question for you techno-geeks: Is Wikileaks hackable? If so, why hasn’t someone taken it out? Asking for my cat.

    • georgiaburning

      If you can hack, you can be hacked

    • Thiazin Red

      We could just drone it.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Its a Russian server.

    • Picabo
    • Bill D. Burger
      • therblig

        OT maybe, but why didn’t michael biehn ever become a huge star? sure, he’s turned in iconic performances over a long and successful career. and in some of them he’s every bit as good as his contemporaries – daniels, pullman, and the late great paxton. too pretty maybe? bad project choices? just not in the cards?

    • Yr. Gma

      My cat would also be interested in the answer.

    • Sardonicuss

      Problem is, they have adopted the cell theory (from spy world) of what they do.
      They are on a million different servers with loads of backup….but in small portions that are isolated from each other.
      You might get into a few, but they have so much raw data ..so spread out, hacking and finding specific stuff is damn near impossible.
      * Also too…they are not collecting data from the bad guys. Since the bad guys are who pays them.

    • Sister the Resister

      We are so fucking lucky that cats care not for hacking… so far.

  • Beaufighter

    I for one am sick and tired of these fucking snowflakes that HEAVENS can’t be asked a simple fucking question by the fucking people they work for.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      In his defense, you’re not supposed to ask questions at photo ops, so she was “out of line” (eyeroll) but on the other hand, State doesn’t seem to do press briefings anymore, and the EO roll out was an announcement and no questions.

      tldr: fuck him

      • Beaufighter

        Understood but since he breaks protocol by avoiding press conferences, anywhere gets to be a press conference.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          hence the eyeroll and “tldr”

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Too bad news people who could have done their job earlier. Plus Mrs Alan Greenspan, really?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Look, I feel so bad about Trump I made rice krispie/cheerio treats for dinner…….see ya after the sugar coma………..

    • janecita

      Yum!!!!

    • BosGrl

      Did you use Fluff or marshmallows?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        I was hunting and I shot a Stay-Puft monster man in the back yard…(I use marshmallows…..)

  • Shoto
    • Count Awesome

      Definetly borscht and spray tan

    • Crank Tango

      They are going with “He who smelt it dealt it.”

  • aktlib101

    Wow, who knew? CIA has a bunch of spies who like to do spying.
    “WikiLeaks publishes ‘biggest ever leak of secret CIA documents'”
    Yawn…please wake me up when they publish “secret” Russian, Chinese, British, German, Indian, Korean, North Korean (haha) similar documents. Spies spy. Wow.
    “https://www.theguardian.com/media/2017/mar/07/wikileaks-publishes-biggest-ever-leak-of-secret-cia-documents-hacking-surveillance

    • Suse

      I want to see the videos of the pee hookers and Drumpf blowing Bannon.

      • Sister the Resister

        Ew, not me!

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          I think they can solve teh gay problemz with that video…. no one alive would want to be gay after that….

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Suse, your hat is done. Please email Rebecca and ask her for my email so I can get your address. kay?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        That sounds like snuff porn.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “We were going to expunge the names and addresses of people who might be executed for helping the CIA, but that’s hard work. So, we went out for beer and pizza instead.”
      — WiKGBleaks

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      “Hi. My name is Julian. Please notice me.”

      • Duke

        “May I my pardon, now?”

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Sorry, buddy, you have to be convicted before you can pardoned.

          • yyyaz

            Nixon disagrees.

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            Assange is no Nixon.
            WTF that means, I have no idea. Maybe don’t make enemies of the people you want to pardon you?

    • DahBoner

      That would be like good and stuff.
      https://media.giphy.com/media/8VLgtJqaxIlhu/giphy.gif

  • Shoto
    • therblig

      does trumpy live in a mausoleum?

      • Shoto

        Evidently.

      • Count Awesome

        It’s a Fortress of Derpitude.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        This is what he looks like before he puts on his hair and makeup in the morning.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/618d1d860f104f8aebd75cd55e53dbdf48290196c1575cbc857460a22caee36e.gif

        • Duke

          Spoopy

        • Nosferatu libelz!

        • Amy!

          Too thin. Unless he also slithers inside the zombie shell that he wears the rest of the day. Which, granted, would explain the horrible skin tone and dead hair.

      • Thiazin Red

        I saw some pictures of the original decor, and it was 80s as hell but not terrible. At some point he must have ordered people to make it two floors and put in those ugly ass low ceilings and all the gold leaf.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          He occupies 3 floors and 1 is dedicated to Barron. Poor kid.

      • DahBoner

        The marble provides a nice echo effect for his thoughts

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “In my defense, I was using the binoculars to try and figure out why his ties are always so fucked up.”
      — Barack “Human Fly” Obama, maybe?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Of course the Republicants’ sham of a replacement healthcare bill is based on their time-honored belief: “The poorest in our society are hoarding all the money.”

    [The Republicans’ $370 Billion Cut to Medicaid
    JARED BERNSTEIN & BEN SPIELBERG MARCH 7, 2017
    Ryan’s ACA replacement relies on a venerable GOP scam—shifting to block grants—to cut off health care coverage for millions of Americans.

    In their newly released plan to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, Republicans are proposing to convert Medicaid—the program that provides health coverage to almost 100 million low-income Americans each year—from a program that expands with need and thus provides a reliable safety net, to a type of block-grant program called a per capita cap. This funding mechanism provides states a fixed amount of federal Medicaid dollars per recipient with loose restrictions on how the money can be used. But the level of funding provided to the states declines dramatically.

    According to a new estimate, the House Republican health plan could lead to $370 billion in lost federal support for Medicaid over the next decade.
    http://www.cbpp.org/blog/house-gop-medicaid-provisions-would-shift-370-billion-in-costs-to-states-over-decade

    Here’s something you don’t hear enough: SNAP and Medicaid are effective, efficient programs that provide critical supports to low-income families. They also quickly and automatically ramp up in recessions and down in recoveries. That doesn’t mean they’re perfect, but it does mean that Republican proposals to “fix” them would make them significantly worse.

    We must do all we can to call out and block those proposals.]

    http://prospect.org/article/republicans%E2%80%99-370-billion-cut-medicaid

    • aktlib101

      Universal health coverage. Period.

    • Picabo

      I respectfully disagree that the “poorest in our society are hoarding all the money”. They believe in a variant of prosperity gospel. The poor are there for a reason. They are lazy, stupid, ignorant . . . fill in the blank.
      Pleas read “One Nation Under God: How Corporate America Invented Christian America”. You will understand why and how they think this way. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eae7e8eb53a135602de2b37341f117aa992b554c78eabc9c896f2470cd0b2c76.jpg

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Thanks, but no. I live this being in the Bible Belt, with megachurches but working for multinationals.
        True story ~ BF and I were in Galveston and were driving north in Houston. My boyfriend looks at the sportsball arenas and said, “Man, the Astrodome no longer exists”. I had to correct him because the Astrodome may not be used for sportsball any more but it was bought by Joel Osteen, a prosperity evangelist, to be a church.
        ETA – BF got a sour look on his face. End of conversation.
        Yet another reason to not live in TX. Sure we have a few megachurches in GA, but they are still churches. Not arenas.

      • Meccalopolis

        Or see “there will be blood” religion will always be capitalism’s bitch

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Fuck the poor, give everything to the rich- it’s the GOP way

  • Amelia

    Okay, so this CIA leak thing. I know we’re calling everything a diversion tactic these days, but does this seem a little like someone in Putin’s pocket (Julian) is trying to help out someone else in Putin’s pocket (Drumpf) by convincing stupid people and conspiracy theorists (Drumpf supporters) that sanity’s current biggest ally (the IC) is evil and untrustworthy, with a bonus pivot in the news cycle for a couple days?

    Because that’s literally all I can see.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They are at the point where none of this is intended to do anything but shore up their gullible and stupid base.

      • DahBoner

        Relax. This is just “training wheels” stuff until they can pack the courts and get enough Govenors to hold a Constitutional Convention and pass a Trump is Supreme Dictator for Life amendment.

        Remember, the GOP plays the Long Game.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Yeah, not quite as subtle as Dostoevsky, right?

      Sad really.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Pert much.

    • shivaskeeper

      What was leaked though? The CIA wrote and used programs for cyber warfare and spying? That’s what they do. What was leaked was some of the source code, which if it was still active code I’m sure is being scrapped or changed right now anyway.

      As usual Wikileaks is going to draw out the document release to keep their name in the headlines a little longer. Of course he’s helping Russia as well. His two overriding motivations seem to be he hates America and he loves seeing his name int he headlines.

      • SayItWithWookies

        I haven’t seen the contents, but on NPR this evening, they said the source code wasn’t part of the doc dump — just descriptions of the various applications. They’re probably saving the code for the next round.

        • shivaskeeper

          So they leaked that the CIA had the capability to spy on people and hoe they go about it. Shocking. This is a distraction, and not a very good one.

    • Thaumaturgist

      It is an act of war.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    My fellow Americans, We are still here. It’s time to regroup, join the Democratic Party and kick orange ass.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4279538ee380b58c3d21deccdd9b935e7ee642c0834fe692589422ba44881cad.jpg

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Sigh……they exude class…..fuck the haters!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Contrast with Donald and Melania…who exude crass.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          As my GM used to say, “You can’t buy class!”.

    • Suse

      I just want to cry!

    • cmd resistor

      I got an OFA email today from Kal Penn.

  • CindyinEncinitas
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Hi guys! I’m at computer lab at school working on thing to turn in to prof tonight and have a grammar question.
    In sentence saying something like, “See attached ‘Exhibit A’ pursuant to Rule blah blah blah,” the comma goes inside the internal quotation marks like this, right?
    “See attached ‘Exhibit A,’ pursuant to Rule blah blah.”

    I’m so tired, both ways look weird.

    • Gosala

      In American usage, the comma goes inside the quotes.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I use the Oxford comma. It was what I was taught in the Olden Daze.

        • Gosala

          Ox·ford com·ma
          noun
          a comma used after the penultimate item in a list of three or more items, before ‘and’ or ‘or’ (e.g. an Italian painter, sculptor, and architect ).

          I use it also, too. But I don’t see its relevance here.

          • DahBoner

            That comma after sculptor is superfluous and adds nothing.

            The “and” separates the last two items.

            If this is what they waste time doing in Oxford…🙄

          • Gosala

            Pffft. Grammar and logic have precious little to do with each other. I believe there is a book Eats, Shots and Leaves out something like that that goes into all that arcana.

            For myself, it is simply easier to remember a rule like “separate items in a list with commas” than a rule like “separate items on a list with commas except the last item if it is preceded by and or or .”

          • DahBoner

            Commas separate. So does logic words like “and” and “or”.

            Didn’t know you were using logic in that sentence, did you?

            So, yes. Some concepts aren’t understood by some people who claim ???

      • alpacapunchbowl

        The Oxford comma isn’t used in legal documents.

        • Gosala

          Guess that makes me illegal. Deport me to Canada, please.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Always. Wait, except if it’s a colon. It’s the only thing that doesn’t go inside quotes.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        It goes above the rectum

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Forget this shit, I heard on NPR that a guy who owns two Taco Trucks is being deported out of Houston. Get your paralegal ass down there and do some pro bono!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Suse

      You don’t need single quotes around Exhibit A.

      • Gosala

        True, that.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        THANKS SUSE!

        I owe you cupcakes.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup. And punctuation goes inside the quotation marks

        • Gosala

          Nope. Commas and periods go inside. The rest go outside unless they are part of the quoted utterance. Note the difference between

          Trump said, “I sold secrets to the Russians? ”

          And

          Trump said, “I sold secrets to the Russians”?

          You didn’t think grammar was easy did you? If course it’s not. It’s a plot to tie up our minds in useless trivial shit like where to put question marks and away from the content, which is the Trump sold secrets to the Russians (ALLEGEDLY!!!11!)

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Well yes, if you are asking the question. But if W asked the question, it belongs within the quote. The punctuation of a sentence being quoted stays with the sentence.

          • Gosala

            Yes, exactly.

            But let’s keep our eye on the ball, sheeple! Either way, Trump sold secrets to the Russians (allegedly!).

            Oh, I just made up those sentences? FALSE NEWS

            They came from somewhere! Maybe species 4379 is communicating to me through subspace…I have fillings, after all.

            “It, could. happen.”.!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Suse, can you help me with one more – doing notice of intent to conduct depositions by written records.
        I’m on the prove-up questions, I have this sentence, does the final period need to be there? My theory is no.

        “Were these records made at or near the time, or reasonably soon thereafter?

        • ariel_gee_398

          Assuming you’re talking about an event like a car accident or something, records of it couldn’t have been made before the fact, so near the time would have to be reasonably soon after.

    • Crank Tango

      In legal docs I think it looks weird to put punctuation marks inside the quotes for some reason tho.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Outside. You want to close your thought before you pause. I took grammar at a private school during 7th & 8th grade where the teacher actually had us diagram sentences. Helps me now as a writer and editor, but man, was it ever tedious.

    • wait! what?

      When all else fails, always ask the Chicago Manual of Style.

      http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/qanda/data/faq/topics/Quotations.html

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        APA of GTFO.

    • BosGrl

      This argument is going to end in a food fight.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        It always dose…but as much as I really LOVE all the answers, I’m going with Suse because she was a paralegal and because her solution is simplest.

        I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT EVERYONE!

      • suziq

        Yum! What ya got? I have…nothing interesting. I could make popcorn.

    • DahBoner

      I’m no lawyer, but this appears to be mumbo jumbo.

      How can a piece of evidence (Exhibit A) be in accordance with rule XYZ?

      You are saying it does follow this rule?

      How do you know it does?

    • canes_pugnaces

      => See Exhibit ‘A’.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Drip….drip….drip….

    [Trump campaign gave Page permission for Moscow trip

    Steve Reilly , USA TODAY Published 7:21 p.m. ET March 7, 2017

    Former Donald Trump campaign national security adviser Carter Page had the Trump campaign’s permission for his controversial speech in Moscow in July 2016, Page told USA TODAY.

    Page confirmed he asked the campaign for permission in June before making the trip to Moscow and campaign management cleared him to do so, as long as he acted as a private citizen and not a representative of the campaign. Page declined to publicly name the person.

    “I’m confirming that information,” Page told USA TODAY when asked about getting approval from the campaign.

    Page left the Trump campaign in September 2016 amid controversy over his speech. In a letter last month to the Department of Justice, Page said the controversy was politically motivated. The U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, which is investigating alleged Russian influence on 2016 U.S. elections, has contacted Page and requested that he preserve materials related to Russia.

    In an interview with Fox News on Saturday, Lewandowski said, “I don’t know who Carter Page is.”]
    A lie.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/03/07/campaign-granted-page-permission-moscow-trip/98874648/

    • BosGrl

      Worried for this guy’s safety…

      • shivaskeeper

        Why? He knew what he was getting into when he signed on with them. No snark intended, I’m curious as to why.

        • BosGrl

          I’m worried about the safety of anyone who crosses Trump. Like some crazy supporter is going to jump him.

          • shivaskeeper

            OK.

    • DahBoner

      Another private citizen with no connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump. No connection to Trump.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Carter Page is not the droid you’re looking for.

      • Meccalopolis

        Trippy gif, where’s it from?

  • Serai 1

    Today is the birthday of Luther Burbank.

    He was a botanist specializing in the hybridizing of new fruit and flower varieties. He made many things we still have today!

    Shasta daisy: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/Leucanthemum_x_superbum_%27Becky%27_in_NH.jpg/1920px-

    Russet Burbank potato:
    Leucanthemum_x_superbum_%27Becky%27_in_NH.jpg

    Santa Rosa plums:
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Russet_potato.jpg
    https://www.fast-growing-trees.com/images/D/Santa-Rosa-Plum-Tree-2-450w.jpg

    • CindyinEncinitas

      We had a Santa Rosa plum tree. The plums were very tart.

      • Serai 1

        Good for jam, I’d imagine!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Yes, the jam was really good.

    • Suse

      I’ve been to his house.

      • Serai 1

        It looks beautiful. I love that greenhouse.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Wasn’t Beautiful Downtown Burbank named in his honor?

      • Serai 1

        I believe so! QI points for you!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I just checked…it was named for David Burbank, a sheep farmer. However, there’s a Burbank in Santa Clara county named for Luther.

          • Serai 1

            Oh, that’s Quite Interesting also!

          • therblig

            i guess the burbanks were too big to fail

      • Count Awesome

        No. Different guy entirely.

      • tinker12

        There is a lovely park near Seattle named for Luther Burbank — https://www.yelp.com/biz/luther-burbank-park-mercer-island

    • Yr. Gma

      http://www.lutherburbank.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Greenhouse-Carriage-House-3648×2736-500×375.jpg
      Luther Burbank house and gardens in Santa Rosa, CA. Very interesting place to visit.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        He never succeeded in breeding a yam that didn’t want to be president, however.

        • mailman27

          Couldn’t think of everything.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            True. Lots of conservative vegetables to worry about.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I love Shasta Daisies! I bet he used science for good, unlike our friends at Monsanto, that create frankenfood with patents.

      • Serai 1

        Um, he partnered with Edison to convince the government to allow breeders to get patents. He was one of the pioneers of what we would call “genetically modified foods”, as splicing hybridization is an early form of genetic engineering.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Well, it didn’t hurt the roses any.

          • Serai 1

            I’m up in the air about the whole subject. We’ve been fucking with plants for millenia, so it’s a bit late to start freaking out about it. Most of the plant foods we consume today are “frankenfoods”, as they did not exist before we came along.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Me, too, but I do love roses a really lot and they wouldn’t have repeat bloomers and all the colors if they hadn’t hybridized them.

          • Serai 1

            Indeed! And I happen to like all the apples and berries and bananas that we’ve made into scrumptious treats instead of weird little bitter things.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          OH, SHUT MY MOF’

    • Count Awesome

      Don’t forget the Burbank Potato.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, the BBC has a drama, SS GB about an alternate timeline where the Nazis won the Battle of Britain, and then invaded and occupied Great Britain.

    Is it possible we are all just living in the American remake, US DT?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Guess the Brits got jealous of “The Man in the High Castle” and dug out an old Len Deighton novel. Look forward to seeing that.

      • Suse

        Jinx!

      • Suse

        Is Deighton’s book titled SS GB?

        • UnsaltedSinner

          Yes.

          • Suse

            Will have to look for it. I like his spy stuff.

          • UnsaltedSinner

            It’s been decades since I read it, but I know I enjoyed it at the time. Less science fictiony than Dick, if you see what I mean, but otherwise similar.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I liked it, but I read it a long time ago. The series seems good so far.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It depends on what you like, I guess.

        Bookwise, SS GB sticks to a very plausible alternate reality and doesn’t dive into metaphysics. It’s less ambitious but it does what it sets out to do and is satistfying in its own way.

        The SS GB series seems to be following the book fairly closely.

        I can’t believe that’s true of the Man in the High Castle series (I haven’t seen it) if they’ve already gotten at least two seasons out of it?

        • UnsaltedSinner

          The MITHC series is set in the same universe as the novel, and with some of the same characters, but it’s a very loose adaptation.

    • Suse

      See Man in the High Castle.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Man in the Tall Tower (*)

        (*) I know the “Man” in the book is not the Trump analog.

        • therblig

          The Manbaby in the High Chair

    • Count Awesome

      We’re living in “Planet of the Trumpanzees”. Yes they do blow it all to hell.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Think of me as a loony conspiracy theorist, chronic alcoholic, slightly less hairy Dr. Zaius.”
        — Steve Bannon

        • H0mer0

          Dr Zaius libel!

          (now I got that Troy McClure Planet of the Apes musical song Dr Zaius to Falco’s tune in my head)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’ve read the novel. Interesting take on the whole thing.

    • Meccalopolis

      Is it in Netflix yet?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I don’t think so.

    • georgiaburning

      The book was great

  • BosGrl

    Chris Hayes: The president said everyone would have health care – yes or no?
    Buddy Hayes (R-GA): INCREASE COMPETITION, INCREASE CHOICE, INCREASE PATIENT CARE.

    Fucking assholes.

    • Suse

      None of them ever answers the questions.

    • mackafritz

      They are only programmed to respond with the approved phrases.

    • Shoto

      Trying to rationalize anything coming out of anyone in the Republican Party is a futile effort. Yes, these people are fucking assholes, but I would go a step further and call them outright monsters. What kind of people go out of their way to deny access to healthcare to literally millions of people? Who the fuck does that?

      If the beltway infotainer hack complex was less interested in keeping its precious access, and more interested in doing actual real journalism, the GOP would regularly be characterized as crackpots, lunatics, and outright monsters. The time for sugar-coating is gone.

      • Weevie

        It’s one thing to have differing platforms, but I fail to see how Mean is a platform.

        • H0mer0

          not even an ethos?

      • BosGrl

        I remember watching a story years ago on 60 Minutes or another news magazine about a couple who had to divorce in order to get coverage for their sick child. The mother was able to get Medicaid for the child or something as a single parent with no income. They weren’t trying to scam anyone. They were just trying to get help for their kid. Now even that option will go away as they phase out Medicaid.

    • tinker12

      Their buzzword is “access”. They will say you have access to health insurance, even if it is unaffordable. Fkers indeed!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Having a door slammed in your face is a kind of access.”
        — Paul Ryan

        • tinker12

          I said earlier that we need to start spelling his name as “Rayn” since he admires that crazy, social-services-using-murderer- admiring Ayn Rand so hard.

          • Amy!

            Paul rAyn?

          • therblig

            Pul Aryan

          • tinker12

            YESSSSS!!! Kinda like GWB and now Twitler will always be the pResident to me.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Well, if you can’t afford it, you should just start a second career, like prostitution or organ donation.

        • BosGrl

          Does anyone buy adipose tissue because I’ve got plenty of that!

    • Weevie

      Wait, that’s what they say about schools!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        ACCESS AND CHOICE, BITCHEZ!

        God, I hate these people.

      • tinker12

        Speaking of schools, lookie at what the sociopaths on the Potomic did today — https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/899

        • BosGrl

          Well isn’t that lovely. >:(

          • tinker12

            Twitler did say he luvs the poorly educated!

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Chaffetz signed on. Fuck all of them.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What an obnoxious little hack that dittohead is.
      I feel like calling him tomorrow and asking when he stopped hitting his wife.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Liar, liar, pants on FUCKING FIRE@!!!!&#&#

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Meaningless phrases.

  • DahBoner

    We are marching to Pretend Doria.
    https://youtu.be/Hap0jqU0WsQ

  • Paperless Tiger

    Somebody tell John McCain they’re thugging the press again. Is it dictator yet?

    • shaar dula

      pardon my french, but le fuck de la McCain aka maverick of convenience.

  • Nounverb911
  • Michael R

    Does Assange give all his valuable hacking info to Russia ?

    Talk amongst yourselves …

    https://s9.postimg.org/9e7cu3cwv/linda_richmond_150_smaller.jpg

    • mackafritz

      Russia gives (some of) their hacking info to Assange.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      backward

    • wait! what?

      Did Truman drop the bomb on the Japanese to end the war or to scare the hell out of the Russians?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He’s neither Holy, Roman, or an Emperor.
      Discuss.

    • shivaskeeper

      He gets info form Russia as well as giving info given to him form other sources to Russia.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From Trumpcare Is the Culmination of All the GOP’s Health-Care Lies
    By Jonathan Chait:
    “The national health-care debate began in 2009. Republicans have had eight years since then to draw up and unify around a plan of their own. They have spent this time insisting they could do so easily. For most of the year, in fact, House Republicans have been running a television ad assuring the public they already “have a plan” with wonderful features: “Health insurance that provides more choices and better care, at lower costs. Provides peace of mind to people with preexisting conditions … without disrupting existing coverage.”

    Eventually they had told the lie so long it became impossible for them to abandon it. And so Republicans have found themselves frantically scrawling out a hopelessly inadequate solution in order to meet a self-imposed deadline driven by their overarching desire to cut taxes for the rich. “Expanding subsidies for high earners, and cutting health coverage off from the working poor: it sounds like a left-wing caricature of mustache-twirling, top-hatted Republican fat cats,” writes the Republican health-care adviser Avik Roy. The caricature is true.”

    So, does anyone think the GOP’s base of drooling idiots will notice who it was who screwed them, or will they just blame the black guy and the murderous shrew who actually should be our president?

    • Weevie

      Well, ya know, they turned Milo into a far left something or other. Yes, their base is very, very dumb!

    • Delu

      Notice?

      Would they even CARE?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        They’ll notice when they no longer have health insurance. Most of Obamacare has gone to the hick states (the one exception being California).

    • snark-lurker

      I think I know that one.

    • OrG

      I’m going with B.

    • mackafritz
    • TJ Barke

      They’re like me in high school. Procrastinating their asses off.

      • Crank Tango

        LOL I was just thinking the same thing!

        • TJ Barke

          Except I wasn’t a vicious sociopath that wanted to kill poor people through a lack of healthcare.

          • Crank Tango

            Yeah but your friends probably did.

          • TJ Barke

            I don’t think so. Most of them were all flaming libtards.

          • Crank Tango

            Ha yeah, I had one of my old hippy friends turn out to be a raging catholic libertarian? Something he picked up in Asia somehow. It was really easier for me to just write him off as insane. That I could imagine.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Well, he goes to Mar-a-Lago every weekend. I vote lazy and say he’ll blame the black guy.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        You can never go wrong picking one of the classic choices.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        For fuck’s Florida, we know you’re going to sink one of these days anyway, why wait? Umm…with votes.

        • Ryan Denniston

          Go climate change?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Whatever gets the job done. By which, I mean of course, votes. Votes get the job done.

          • Meccalopolis

            This bright side?

            https://youtu.be/jHPOzQzk9Qo

    • Michael R

      Best liar gets to destroy the country !

      • mailman27

        Best dullards get to tie it up with a bow.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Duke

      That “riot” after Trump talked about it was pretty well timed. I wondered about that.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Well, Trump suggested that Sweden had been attacked by Islamic terrorists, while the riots in Rinkeby has been triggered by what immigrants perceive as racism from the Swedish police. When the latest riots happened, Trump did a victory lap, but they’re not quite what he talked about, are they? It’s as if Trump had predicted another Boston bombing a few days before the Ferguson protests began, and then claimed them as vindication.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      So should we not be surprised seeing a Russian news crew filming near 5th Avenue…?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        just assume there are infiltrators in more conspiratorial-thinking groups.

        Also in 4chan/reddit, Breitbart comments sections, daily stormer, etc.

    • OrG

      REAL “Fake News”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        In the proud tradition of “there’s no truth in Pravda and no news in Izvestia

  • Bill D. Burger

    Gave me a giggle. Looks like you can stay at this hotel___ AND still pitch a tent.

    ~rimshot~

    http://i.imgur.com/hSTHneQ.jpg

  • Suse

    I hope all of these fucking traitors, including Assange, are visited by the spirits of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

    • Weevie

      Where is fucking Assange, still holed up in Ecuador or did Sweden kidnap him?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        London, Ecuadorian Embassy.

        • Rasilom

          But with luck, not for long. Equidor’s leading Preznit Candidate has said he will make Assange GTFO the embasy. Could be fun!

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            I think Interpol should turn him over to Turkey for his crimes there first. I have heard good things about Turkish prisons.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            or perhaps Saudi Arabia.

          • Suse

            I would like to be there waiting for him when he’s shown the door. Being the wuss that he is, he’ll likely sneak out the back entrance under cover of darkness.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            into the awaiting MI5 vans?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Yup, he won’t get 2 feet out the door

      • Ryan Denniston

        Living in his mom’s basement?

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          I wish the Ecuadorian embassy would stick him back in the Faraday suite.

          • Weevie

            I second that.

      • Suse

        He’s hiding in London at the Ecuadorean consulate.

      • Wild Cat

        Amy Goodman is heading over to the embassy for a pajama party.

      • Weevie

        Oh yeah it was London. Wonder what happened to him being extradited to Sweden. I quit following that idiot after tracing the headers on his FAKE emails right back to the source. And no one noticed.

        • Suse

          Drumpf may allow him to move into the WH.

          • Weevie

            How about Guantanamo Commandant?

        • Serai 1

          I may be wrong, but I thought I read that Sweden had said “yeah, no, come over here and we’ll turn you over.” Like I said, I could be wrong, though.

      • ltmcdies

        he may be on borrowed time….the leading candidate in the Ecuadorian presidential election wants him out.

        http://www.smh.com.au/world/ecuador-presidential-candidate-vows-to-remove-julian-assange-from-embassy-20170218-gufw5d.html

        I’m amazed Jules has been allowed squatting rights this long.

        • Serai 1

          It is kind of incredible. I guess they fell for his Truth Warrior horseshit as much as anyone else.

    • Serai 1
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Deconstructed dinner. 1 1/2 cups of cereal (non sugar) 10 marshmallows. 3/4 tablespoon of butter. And a banana.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Theses folks are a bit late to the party.

    https://youtu.be/qMhOY_9ZIng

    • Michael R

      Slower than Joe Scarborough ?
      SAD !

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      And if he is 25th-Amendment-ed out, we still lose — Pence and GOP Congress.

      Pity there’s no amendment addressing the theft of the presidency, seeing as it has happened twice in 16 years. Very 21st-century, very hip, very now.

      (Yes, 2000 was the end of the 20th, but for economy’s sake … )

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Why Is McConnell Rushing Through a Trumpcare Bill Everybody Hates?
    By Jonathan Chait
    “Republicans have made two promises that can’t be reconciled. They promised to repeal Obamacare, and to replace it with a terrific law that would take care of everybody. As the House Republican ad put it, they promised, “more choices and better care, at lower costs. … peace of mind to people with preexisting conditions … without disrupting existing coverage.” Those things cannot be reconciled. If Republicans repeal Obamacare, they will put in place something that not only fails to provide the better, cheaper care they have promised the country, but does not meet even the minimal threshold of access to basic care for people who currently receive it.

    From that standpoint, the winning play for the GOP might be to try to repeal and replace Obamacare but fail. If they are seen trying and failing to repeal the law, it might upset the base, but most Republican lawmakers will have their opposition to Obamacare on the record. And if it is to fail, it should fail quickly, so they can move on to cutting taxes.

    This may all be wrong. It is never safe to assume rational thought on the part of public actors, especially in the reality-distortion field of Trump’s Washington. Maybe ultra-conservatives think they are using their leverage to push the bill to the right. Or maybe McConnell believes he can whip his caucus into line. Whatever the explanation, the strategy behind the bill is almost as incompetent as the bill itself.”

    I’ve wondered the same thing as Chait- are Republicans just trying to get caught repealing Obamacare to placate their base of morans, or are they actually dumb enough to think this is a good plan?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yes.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Whistling in the graveyard. But maybe. If they fuck up that maneuver, though, many screwed citizens, because the djinn will not go back into the bottle.

      Did someone say “gin”? Yes, please. Imma go home.

    • Weevie

      First, I do not support this.
      But, as far as what they could have done, it could be worse. Killed because they (whomever that may be today) didn’t invent it. Boehner may be right!

    • SayItWithWookies

      They certainly don’t want to replace it with anything effective, and yet they’ve been yelling “repeal and replace” for so long, and so many of their constituents now like Obamacare, that they have to make at least a half-assed effort. This is as half-assed as they’re willing to get at the moment.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Remember when they were just saying “replace” and got an earful from their constituents? Ayup, I think they got the message.

    • shivaskeeper

      They already voted over 50 times to repeal when there was no chance the repeal would go through. It’s all been theater to keep their base happy that they are doing something, even if that something is ineffective.

      The problem comes in where they have lied about the ACA so much that their base what’s it gone even if it will hurt them personally. The GOPers are smart enough to know that if a repeal does go through, they are fucked. Their base isn’t big enough to keep them in power all by itself.

      The best answer is to come up with a plan that can;t even get the support it needs to get out of the house, let alone be reconciled with the Senate plan and then get signed in to law. Then the can blame the Dems for obstructing the repeal and it’s business as usual.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Chait thinks Republicans just want to get the phony “repeal” over with so they can get back to cutting taxes on the rich. I’ve thought the same thing. They know if they repeal it they’re screwed, so they’re just pretending to make an effort.

    • Crank Tango

      Fuck, they already voted against it 8 million times, how much more on the record do they need to be?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The stupid idiots painted themselves in to a corner, and they really have no idea how to get out of it. I’ve thought all along that they wouldn’t have the balls to repeal it, they’ll just rename it FreedomCare.

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    People who specify mat margins that are too narrow make the picture-framing unicorn very sad, and should be punished severely.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      *a truck of very pointy votes backs up*… Here you go…

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      This. I have had occasion to mat artwork over the years, and not only are narrow margins hard to work with, they inevitably look like you were too cheap to buy a correctly-sized piece.

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        *embraces you, weeping with joyful relief at meeting another who knows*

        …Or they’ll do stupid shit like matting a 12 x 18 print so it fits a 16 x 20 standard ready-made frame…

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          I have seen that sort of thing too. My first thought is usually, so, you couldn’t find a frame that fit?

          • Kiri the Paid Protestor

            It means they didn’t wanna pony up for a custom job. A few of my clients are smarter about this: they find frames for me to resize to fit their projects. Professionally I find that to be a little irksome, but it’s to our advantage to provide some lower-cost alternatives.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            This is something I am going to have to address sooner or later – I have two ninety-year-old maps that are supposed to be mounted and framed, and I’ve been given only a small budget. But there’s plenty of time to figure it out.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      300 million + caught in these nauseating circle of derpity derpity derp.

      • Serai 1

        Actually, more like 6 billion+. He does have the nuclear codes, after all.

    • Weevie

      6. MSM reports 1-5 and
      7. MSM is given as a source.

    • Michael R

      If you show this to Trump will he realize what’s happening and cut the crap ?

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      let’s dispel with this ideat that anything Andrea Mitchell says is of consequence to actual, you know, people who have fucking brains.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Hi, and you are…?

        • ancient wonkette wisdom.

        • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

          Little Marco’s Big Ego

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy
  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    still no fucks to give on Mrs. Biggest Asshole in the Universe.

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      Fuck her.
      Fuck everything she says.
      Fuck everything she thinks.
      Fuck her and fuck her fucking husband.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I take it you don’t much care for her.

      • Weevie

        Having fun?

  • Ryan Denniston

    OT: watching morning joe, because I am a masochist. Some Trump Goon named Kevin Brady can barely read the lines. Knows fuck all about the debate on health insurance. How does one respond to blatant, flasibiable, ridiculous cover? We get to watch MoJo find out!

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      News media today in a nutshell.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Mah Man Kevin Brady, R-The Woodlands TX? My former congressgoon kin haz this here bag of salted rat dicks, and fuck on off into obscurity.
      That is all.

    • Begin Anew Day

      QUIT WATCHING THAT SHIT!

      It’ll give you nightmares!

      –Joe Biden (still watching out for your health)

  • Nounverb911
  • Panika MCD

    I come back from my liquid dinner and Hancock is on “you’re an alternative fact!”

    • Weevie

      The Movie? Luv it!

      • Panika MCD

        nah. the TX State Senator. I’m pretty sure he’s the devil.

  • TootsStansbury

    I find I’m always feeling stabby, shooty, overthrowy lately. I wish big pharma would come up with a cure.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      It’s called “Protesterol”….

  • Msgr_MΩment

    http://www.msnbc.com/sites/msnbc/files/styles/ratio–3-2–830×553/public/afp_mg4yv.jpg?itok=Ih6q_cnr By pointing to piles of paper, Spicer makes the worst argument of all

    Sean’s pissed off that they didn’t go with his original suggestion of a post-it that says, “you’re all fucked.”

    • Picabo

      Sean Spicer is a vapid Throttlebottom.

  • Snopes Shop

    In other news, we had a whopping 7% voter turnout in California today.

    • Suse

      That really pisses me off! People died for the right to vote and blowing it off is so disrespectful.

      • Snopes Shop

        And only 4 months after the Trump debacle. This is why crossing out fingers and praying for the mid terms is utterly hopeless.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      We had an election? I didn’t get a ballot.

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Did you get a mailbox full of fliers every day?

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Not that either, thank FSM.

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            It’s Los Angeles municipal.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      For what?

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        I think LA’s having local elections.

      • Snopes Shop

        A bunch of important referendums and LA mayor.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          It’s only 5:45 here PST. Surely there are voters who have jobs, and haven’t got to the polls yet.

          • Snopes Shop

            Perhaps. I find it’s usually an early morning transaction, but I’ll stop bitching until the polls close.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      I’m dragging myself out before the polls close. Reëlecting Garcetti is sort of epically uninspiring, though.

      • Scrofula

        Ah, SoCal stuff. [snoooooore]

        • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

          Gee, not like exciting Fresno. Troll!

          • msanthropesmr

            Where you been livin’ Reseda?
            No – San Jose.

          • Scrofula

            Hey, our former mayor was the Bubba from “Heat of the NIght”. And even HE thought Trump was a conman.
            (I was NOT living here at the time)
            ((ETA: half my life in NorCal))

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy
          • Scrofula

            That’s our guy!
            (AGAIN, I was NOT living here then)

          • magyar of infinite power

            HAWT! I would vote for him. Look at those Guns! (I know you can only see one)

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            Not bad, in a good-ole-boy sort of way. I didn’t say that.

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Hubba bubba! :D

      • msanthropesmr

        So THAT’S where he’s being elected. For some unknown reason, I keep getting texts from his campaign. And I live in Virginia. Money well spent.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          So did you vote or not? Huh?

          • msanthropesmr

            Shhh… I don’t wanna get voter fraud persecutied.

      • Snopes Shop

        There’s some pot and housing stuff. It took me 2 minutes because no one was there.

    • Panika MCD

      that’s about average for what’s on the ballot.

    • TJ Barke
    • HogeyeGrex

      Made me nervous. Only parts of CA have elections.

    • Persistent Demme

      What?!

      • Snopes Shop

        It’s inched up to 11%

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger
      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        DO NOT STAND BESIDE HER, YOU UNWORTHY LITTLE ASSWIPE.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I have a feeling that picture may be a gateway to an alternate and better universe.

        • Moebym the Persistent Returner

          Maybe someone ought to try jumping into it a la Super Mario 64.

          Though we may never hear from that person again, since no one in their right mind would want to return to this universe.

      • Apple Scruff

        My guess is he never noticed until The World pointed it out to him. I wonder if made a scene like he did on Friday.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f10b1269ce27ea9bf0591740241aec2a40c78f9c17aa0187c181535aa4b956c.gif

      • suziq

        It takes a very secure and stable man to stand in front of a yuge picture of his rival when he knows there will be lots of cameras.
        Or maybe a idiot who has no idea where he is or what he is doing.
        Huh, I will go with the second one.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        He probably should avoid being photographed next to a picture of a leader.

  • Panika MCD

    TX Bathroom Bill update:

    Sen. Bettencourt has decided that the Texas Association of Business needs to die. you want to watch the end of a political career?

    http://tlcsenate.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=5&event_id=2219

  • magyar of infinite power

    I need help! Can someone do a side by side of Chris Hayes and Grumpy Cat. I think they’re twins.

    • msanthropesmr

      Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

    • Suse

      He *does* have resting Grumpy Cat face!

      • magyar of infinite power

        IKR? How had I never noticed before?

  • Serai 1

    I just realized something rather disconcerting: this is the first year that Casey has not grown a winter coat. Her fur remained short all winter. *sigh*

    • Snopes Shop

      Same with my old horse.

  • Snopes Shop

    Andrea Mitchell did not vote for Hillary Clinton. I will never give her anything but the middle finger like Callyson’s Ma.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I have an old rotting shoe that I’d like to throw.

      • I don’t know, Trump is kind of heavy. You might need a catapult instead of just throwing him.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Does NASA have a schedule of their rocket launches…?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Every year, Alan gets one favor from her. This year it was don’t vote for Hillary, or have sex with him. She made a defensible choice?

      • HogeyeGrex

        It must be emotionally scarring to have the guy fucking you yelling “Ayn! Oh Ayn!!!”

        Okay. Grossed myself out there.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Atlas Shuddered

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      How we know? I don’t doubt you, just wondering. Thanks.

  • Michael R
    • msanthropesmr

      No, it has to be of a certain quality. You met that quality but barely, please see this as a warning.

    • suziq

      Sorry, comments are not allowed. Or cute pet pictures.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Courser_Resistance

        LOL! When I was a kid, I had a wonderful cat. When she was pissed at us, she’d sit on top of the TV and switch her tail back and forth across the screen.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I had a cat like that as well. Actually, more than one. It’s like they know what they’re doing with your soul. Dogs beg, cats rule.

        • epazote

          During my drinking days I had a Siamese cat that would pee on my pillow and wait for me to come straggling in after the bar closed.
          I only fell for that trick once, checked the pillows before climbing into bed after that experience. Cat’s name ? Bad Attitude.

          • Courser_Resistance

            My awesome cat was half Siamese. Man, talk about personality!

          • epazote

            Siamese are “talkers”
            they are haughty, independent characters !

      • Amy!

        “Have you heard the pops this makes when you put your claws in? Listen!”

    • Scrofula

      Is that bottled water for dogs? Really?
      ANd what does “crispy” beef taste like compared to “not-crispy” beef?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        More to the point, how is water a “crispy” flavor?

        • Scrofula

          “Crisp” goes with “refreshing” with fizzy drinks.
          “Beef” does not go with “refreshing” or “fizzy”.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            This should be a proverb.

          • Scrofula

            It’s in the Apoththegms of Scrofula, Vol. 3 Act II canto iv.

          • Unless you are playing a video game, in which case, “Nothing Refreshes Like Beef!” — trademark in the Final Fantasy universe, probably.

          • Scrofula

            I admit, some people ARE refreshed by a dose of beef.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Crispy.
        Water.

        Fuck them.

        • Roni Resistance Raven

          That’s what we’ll all have when Pruitt is done with the EPA.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ugh! I remember that stuff. I loved my dogs but dogs need exactly zero incentive to drink water. A solution in search of a problem.

    • Thiazin Red

      My vet recommended something like that for my cat. She hardly drinks water, and has an issue with bladder crystals. He suggested putting a little beef stock in the water to get her to drink more. It didn’t work and the dish didn’t smell great.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I would go to a different vet. Just saying.

        And a better diagnosis.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Trump’s buddy, Aras Agalarov, who corresponded with Trump throughout the 2016 campaign:

    http://crocusgroup.com/upload/iblock/197/1975d85e48d1ddca2ba2a9091a8a4fa5.jpg

    https://i.redd.it/t3rb1w9l7prx.png

  • ltmcdies

    Hey this is a nice ray of electoral sunshine, Chattanooga stays Blue

    https://twitter.com/newschannelnine/status/839289133226950657

    • BloviateMe

      That mustache though. Poor kid hasn’t gone thru puberty.

      I know I know, I’ll sit in the time out corner.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        HEY! :x

    • “But what about Walla Walla, Keokuk and Cucamonga?” –Crusty the Clown

    • Me not sure

      Pardon me boy, but why did Chattanooga choose blue?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Yeah, yeah!

  • I fear that expecting the 25th Amendment to be exercised is as realistic as expecting the Electoral College to do their job.

    • HogeyeGrex

      That would be the easy way out. These fuckers won’t take it. They’re going to ride this flaming turdsteroid all the way down to the crater.

  • wait! what?

    Fifty Shades of Blue

    https://www.sciencenews.org/article/invasive-species-climate-change-threaten-great-lakes?tgt=nr

    Fun fact: Waukegan is the fresh water salmon capital of the great lakes it was decimated by lamprey eels decades ago and the only way to stem that invasion is to kill the eggs that are deposited in tributaries. Opening the locks brought the lampreys in. And now, human intervention is the only thing that can keep them at bay, in a lake, so to speak.

    • Thiazin Red

      Jawless fishes are pure nightmare fuel.

  • Picabo

    “In response to epic protests around the country, some state legislators are proposing unconstitutional bills that would restrict people’s right to protest. This map rounds up the bills that have been introduced as of March 1, 2017. The ACLU will fight in statehouses against any bill that violates the First Amendment, and for any that become law, we’re hopeful the courts will see these bills for what they are: unlawful infringements on our right to speak.”
    https://www.aclu.org/map/where-anti-protest-bills-have-been-introduced-state-legislatures

    • BosGrl

      Why bother, when they can just pepper spray everyone and shove old women?

      • OrG

        Bad optics.

      • Picabo

        Yes it does matter. I am an old. I would like to pass my experience to you and wish you well. I remember Kent State.

    • shivaskeeper

      Of course they are. They have a mandate from the majority, except that they know they don’t. They know we are all the snowflakes, but they are trying to mandate safe spaces for themselves.

      Fucking cowards.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        If this doesn’t get people pouring into voting booths – democracy is dead…

        • shivaskeeper

          Shit like this won’t effect the non-voters, It’s not like the vote or protest normally so there is no issue for them. It damn sure better galvanize everyone else. If the purity ponies strike again they need to be sent to a farm upstate to live with a nice retired couple.

          • Serai 1

            I’m at the point where anyone trying to talk Purity to me had better fucking DUCK.

    • OrG

      I had not heard about the bill in Oregon,but I’m sure it’s going nowhere.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        There’s a bill in Oregon? That’s a fine example of pissing in the wind.

        • BloviateMe

          That there bill will be tie dyed before it’s sent back with its tail between its legs.

    • Ωbjectifier

      In Arizona they wanted to RICO and seize the assets of anyone they deemed a paid protester. The house speaker’s proof that such a thing exists is Craigslist, lol.

      That one died but there’s more to come.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • BloviateMe

      That’s excellent.

  • BosGrl

    Valley Girl is on MGM. Brings me right back to high school. 1983 actually has a smell to me. I know, I’m crackers.

    • Snopes Shop

      Great movie. GREAT.

    • Anna Rompage

      OMG, in the days before Nicolas Cage became a stoned version of a John Travolta mini me…. ;)

      • BosGrl

        He was still cute in Raising Arizona, too, my other favorite Nic Cage movie.

        • “Leonard Smalls” (aka Tex Cobb) lived at my place for a summer.
          Interesting guy.

    • BoziSpicer
    • Royal Ugly Dude

      As a Valley Dude of that generation, I get serious nostalgia about the locations in that movie. Especially tiny maylors coffee shop in Encino and Follow Your Heart Natural Foods in Chatsworth.

  • Reality Kills

    After four years, the whole internet is going to be polluted with Donnie’s articles, tweets, interviews, videos, etc. It’s going to be like the Great Garbage Patch of the internet.

  • shivaskeeper

    OT (that’s short for on topic since this is the open thread)

    I got to use the words unruly nipples in a conversation today. H/T to Shanz since I would never have thought to put those two words together.

    • BloviateMe

      “One nipple to unruly them all.”

      • wait! what?

        Two nipplerings to bring them both and in the darkness bind them.

    • magyar of infinite power

      Mine are boring, they just sit there

      • BosGrl

        If they’re not looking at your feet, you’re in good shape.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Mine are walleyed. Don’t ask.

    • tehbaddr

      Yes, go on about this unruliness of which you speak!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I would like to subscribe to that newsletter.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Context would be nice. I rarely use unruly and nipple in the same sentence.

      • shivaskeeper

        Talking to someone about show costumes. I managed to slip in an unruly nipple comment.

        • tehbaddr

          I’ve had at some unusual nipples, but I can’t recall but a rare few being unruly.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Those sound like interesting shows.

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    Off to vote. Later!

    • Scrofula

      (He totally forgot till Snopes Shop called him out. Not like Giamatti is a TV star or anything.)

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Garcetti, not Giamatti, not TV star, iarrrgghhuurrrrrreeegghh.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Has he ever won a lottery?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Not genetically.

    • Please. He obviously wasn’t referring to himself. He was talking about … uh, you know. Those people.

  • Begin Anew Day

    I once met Bonnie Raitt backstage at a concert at Red Rocks in Morrison, CO.

    No one can accuse me of being an admirer of American Celebrity Culture. And Bonnie Ratit is about 4’7″ tall to my 6″2″. But when she shook my hand I was tongue-tied and actually started to stammer.

    Evan gets points for actually being able to talk whole words to Andrea Mitchell.

    • Suse

      I lurve Bonnie! I would have melted into a puddle if I’d met her.

      • BloviateMe

        Sounds moist.

    • Michael R

      Bonnie Raitt gave a good review to the
      Shaggs album so she’s OK with me for that

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmyhvEWksvI

    • Courser_Resistance

      When I drove a shuttle van, I had a number of musicians as passengers, often solo because they travel at odd times. I was always *really* happy I didn’t know who they were. People often look very different day to day than when they’re on stage or TV, and I’m not terribly up on who’s who. These gentleman invariably asked to sit up front with me rather than one of the van seats, which was always okay. And we had just normal, human conversations but I realized that they were always asking me about….well, me. Not super-deep personal questions, just conversational stuff. I’ll always treasure that about that job.

  • tehbaddr

    You! Yes You! Asking the questions we don’t like, staff get her out of here!

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM! HE LOOOKS FIIIIIIIINE!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I would say the look on both of their faces.

    • Courser_Resistance

      He’s just too fucking cool. I was so proud to have such an elegant black man as our president and his beautiful family was a bonus. Now… I literally feel sick to my stomach to think of the two men at the same time.

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      Come baaaaaaack.

    • vivian

      Most Presidents don’t look that good when they start, much less after 8 years of unrelenting abuse. Well done Mr. President!

  • Nounverb911
    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      “more short-lived” … because SNL has inside info on Dump’s ouster?

      pleasegodpleasegodpleasegodpleasegodpleasegodpleasegod

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        My take is that he and Lorne aren’t really into polonium. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • BoziSpicer

      Chris Hardwick, @Midnight, on the Comedy Channel, was talking about a feud between Baldwin and another tRump impersonator on Monday’s show. Baldwin was threatening to sue the other.

  • Weevie
  • memzilla Ω

    Secty of Transportation Mrs. Mitch McConnell: “So, basically, we allow foreign inv — uh, we allow different kinds of money, private sector money to come into the United States — I’m not saying foreign — to come and fund, let’s say a bridge or a road or it can be any kind of infrastructure.”

    TRANSLATION: WE’RE GOING TO LAUNDER RUSSIAN MONEY AND TURN EVERYTHING INTO TOLL ROADS

    Turd Gurgling Lying Liar Sean Hannity: “If I’m hearing it properly, what you’re saying is, for example, if a company were to rebuild a road, they might get their investment back by having a toll on that road and that’s where the taxpayers don’t pay a penny, they make a profit, it’s a win-win? Something like that?”

    TRANSLATION: ALLOW ME TO REGURGLE THAT TURD FOR YOU MRS MCCONNELL

    Let me repeat that lying lie for you: It doesn’t cost taxpayers a thing to make them pay tolls.

    THE ASSRAPE OF AMERICA CONTINUES.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a167ae6984ab7189b953b343d5d294150ae4aa24619a0fe52deec7a521d66dc0.jpg

    • BosGrl

      Ok, so let me get this straight. We are losing our health insurance. If we make it through childbirth (which care of may no longer be mandatory on health care plans so lots of women will be giving birth at home), our children will be going to public schools that are actually run by corporations or religions, so woe to the child that does not fit into the box, and after we drop them off in the morning, in order to get to work, we will have to pay to drive on roads that may or may not be safe because there will be no regulations.

      • suziq

        And without family planning paid for there will be a lot more kids. So, free markets-yay?

      • memzilla Ω

        Don’t worry, your Federal EZ-Pass will automatically deduct the tolls from your bank account!

      • Anna Rompage

        Pretty much, and you’ll have to dodge the Trump carnies that are armed with open carry weapons who are trying to steal whatever they can from anyone who looks different, or weak…

      • Weevie

        There will be trillions in infrastructure improvements paid for by the huge military buildup.

        Yeah, you got it.

    • Ωbjectifier

      They should re-title her position Minister of Transportation.

    • epazote

      Funded primarily by issuing interest bearing, tax exempt bonds. Bottom line ? “Investors” will invest 18 cents on every dollar raised, taxpayers are on the hook for the remaining 82 cents
      Public/Private ventures= big scam on taxpayers, windfall profits for the private investment class.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      “Tollbooth attendant only gives change in Rubles”

    • Sophia

      Okay, is this a no toll road cause I can’t figure out how it’s not going to cost me money one way or the other

    • Let me repeat that lying lie for you: It doesn’t cost taxpayers a thing to make them pay tolls.

      Tolls, fees, surcharges. Call them anything – they’re all taxes.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Only the takers are going to use toll roads, taxpayers have private jets.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • Shoto

      Yup. The GOP is made up of gangsters, psychopaths, and outright monsters.

    • You’re my hero, Paul, but the GOP DOES NOT GIVE A F*CK about their “intellectual and moral emptiness”. They’re pretty cool with all that.

      We need to get them out of power. Everywhere. Period.

    • tehbaddr

      Smoke and mirrors, Drumpf kicks up a a dust storm on the playground while the fuckers pass their plan!

  • Nounverb911
    • Michael R

      It’s not rocket science

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        Or brain surgery.

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Camille Paglia:
    Speaking two weeks into his administration, she sounded altogether less troubled by the president than any other self-declared feminist I’d encountered since Inauguration Day: “He is supported by half the country, hello! And also, this ethically indefensible excuse that all Trump voters are racist, sexist, misogynistic, and all that — American democracy cannot proceed like this, with this reviling half the country.”

    She obviously doesn’t know any Trump voters personally. She also apparently doesn’t know that these people have been reviling “the coastal elites” for 30 years. Are we supposed to clasp them to our bosoms?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Who?

    • Thiazin Red

      The pattern I’ve noticed when the respective parties lose is that democrats get told to change everything and throw other groups under the bus. Republicans double down on things, and become more conservative.

      • Weevie

        If Trump or any other Republican is so great for the economy, why did half the money I have come during Clinton?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Why did all the money I used to have disappear during the Bush years?

          • Weevie

            strategery

        • To be fair, there was a lot of cumming under Clinton.

          …I’ll show myself out.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Exactly! They also suffer from massive amounts of projection. I have a neighbor who swears I exist on a diet of HuffPo, Rachel Maddow, and the Daily Kos. I rarely watch or read any of those outlets. He, OTOH, subsists off of Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Mark Levin, etc…He believes ALL of the stupidest right wing propaganda, and when I point out that it makes NO sense, he gets highly offended. He’s just dumb as a damned rock. I’ve spent years PROVING to him that everything he believes is bullshit, but he still believes it.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      The things some people will say for attention.

    • Wild Cat

      She may be the only human being on the planet that’s even more psychotic than The Great Dictator.

      • Picabo

        May be? Help me out here!

        • Wild Cat

          OK. She’s a Salon chump. She IS certifiably more insane than The Great Dictator, but she probably has more dollars than he does.

    • Crank Tango

      Remember just before the election when people were posting lovey dovey memes about how we were gonna heal after the election? Hahahah, yeah, no.

    • Weevie

      Half of the 1/3 who vote, which is .166666
      Suddenly got really small.

    • BloviateMe

      Was this before or after she committed an impulse hate crime?

    • OrG

      Ya know,if everybody treats you like an asshole,you might be an asshole.

    • I used to think she was an edgy intellectual. Now, I realize she’s always been the kind of person who will say anything for publicity. Also, she’s apparently not very good at percentages.

      • Shanzgood

        So an early role model for Milo?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Occasionally she says something I agree with, but for the most part she’s just an attention whore.

      • Persistent Demme

        Like Ann Coulter?

    • Weevie

      Another demented geezer, she’s about 70 and contradicts herself constantly. She’s famous for saying “If civilization had been left in female hands, we would still be living in grass huts.”

      • yeah i kinda thought she’s been off the rails for a while?

    • Ωbjectifier

      That can’t be Paglia. There is no mention of Madonna.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She’s over Madonna, but I think because Madonna ignored her or something.

    • georgiaburning

      Paglia is still a thing? Are we back in the 80’s?

      There are many upper middle-class white people who are afraid they’ll be called names if they reveal they voted for Trump. They resent the inference that they are racists. But, when you sleep with the dogs you shouldn’t be surprised to wake up with fleas.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’ve always thought my mother would vote for an ape if it had an “R” after its name on the ballot. My mother could NOT bring herself to vote for Trump. We’re talking about a woman who voted for Richard Nixon and George W. Bush, and doesn’t regret those votes. That’s how disgusting Trump is.

      • There are many upper middle-class white people who are afraid they’ll be called names if they reveal they voted for Trump.

        They were afraid to reveal themselves to pollsters, too.

        • Shanzgood

          Cowardly assholes.

      • Persistent Demme

        Yeah.
        They can go to hell.

      • subatomic

        They are also morans and they should be ashamed.

    • I remember back when I thought she was brilliant.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        We were all so young and naive back then.

  • Thiazin Red

    I need an argument that will convince my boyfriend that we need a new sofa. We do, the current one is done for real, but he won’t accept it. I’ve found some that look nice, that are reasonable. I get that the one cat would be sad to lose her nesting spot, but come on. We can keep the one cushion for her and build a stand for it or something.

    • Crank Tango

      The new one is better for banging/bjs?

      Also, the cat does not give a single shit.

      • Thiazin Red

        I don’t know, my cats are real particular assholes.

        • Crank Tango

          Meh, they like things high and warm. Put a heat lamp over the shelf with a blanket on it and my cats are sleepin’

    • BloviateMe

      Poop on the old one.

      • Thiazin Red

        A possibility as long as I could blame a cat and/or the super.

        • BloviateMe

          Just make sure it’s not after corn night.

        • Rasilom

          Blame the super. If you blame the cats they will.seek vengance. It’s what cats do.

        • Scrofula

          If the super shat on my sofa, I’d want to MOVE. (And get a new sofa)

        • Sister the Resister

          I was having similar thought, but more along the “pee” line. Cat pee is awful, and when furniture is truly peed on, hard to get rid of. But maybe you could just hide a little cat pee scented something between the cushions and convince him the thing’s done for?

          • Scrofula

            Ammonia.
            With a little battery acid.
            Under the cushions.

          • Thiazin Red

            Do acid batteries even exist anymore?

          • Scrofula

            Well, yeah, in your car.
            OOO, yer a lab person, just a few drops of mercaptoethanol, or pyridine if you’re with the chemists.

          • Thiazin Red

            I have to live there too, I’m not putting mercaptoethanol on it. Its bad enough at work. I could burn a big hole in with with some sulfuric acid.

          • Scrofula

            Harder to hide a huge chemical burn, though, compared to the subtle smell of decaying flesh.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Worst Clue answer ever.

          • Scrofula

            Lady Ammonia is ALWAYS the killer.

        • Weevie

          Drink OJ and milk and barf all over it.
          Just trying to help.

    • shivaskeeper

      Couch head. But the old couch is too nasty for couch head, so sad, to bad. You’ll have a new couch by the end of the day.

    • speaking as the girl in the house, i reserve the right to make all design decisions. mr fuflans gets very little input.

      (also, i am a bitch.)

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        May I have another one, my queen?

      • Thiazin Red

        Your picture is so weird to me because that really looks like my cat, and the stairs in my place. I think the walls are even the same color.

        • ;)

          that was my fuflans. he left us in 08 way too young (liver cancer – died in like 2 weeks. broke my heart).

          we live in Chi in a 1903 (ish) house. i painted the whole house crayola brick red in 1998 and have never felt i needed to change it. i probably should, but i’m too lazy.

          that picture is so fuflans.

    • Shanzgood

      Burn it in the yard.

      • BloviateMe

        You are aggressive.

        • Shanzgood

          I have an X who was a hoarder.

          • Scrofula

            Yup, wait till they’re gone for five hours on garbage day. DESTROY IT ALL. Or at least, one room at a time. Then hide.

          • Shanzgood

            I have thrown SO much in the garbage. I’d love a bonfire.

          • Scrofula

            Alas, zoning, hazmat, EPA and the DOE have problems with that.

          • Shanzgood

            Assholes.

    • BosGrl

      Spill a big bowl of spaghetti on the old one?

      • Thiazin Red

        Would not work, plenty of stuff had gotten spilled on the couch.

        • BosGrl

          Shoot the couch and do a Margaret Houlihan.

        • Shanzgood

          Washing is an excuse. You can’t come back from burning. DO IT.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      When I was growing up my parents had this amazing brown velour sofa set. It was way past its prime, but no one had the heart to toss it until the day one of us kids went to sit down and fell through.
      That should do it. You might get a spring poking you in the ass though.

    • Panika MCD

      how many times has the cat peed on it?

      • Thiazin Red

        None, its just 10 years old and pretty broken down.

        • Panika MCD

          get the cat to pee on it.

          • BloviateMe

            Yup. Feed it water and squeeze that damn thing like a toothpaste tube.

          • Thiazin Red

            They like it too much. Its the one thing they agree on, the cat neutral territory.

          • Suse

            Put it in another spot for them and get a new one for you?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I assume you’re referring to the couch.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What my parents did. So Midwestern. It also prevented my teen self from leaving stains. So, win-win.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d0193bc4698790d44300246e2117767c8adb92b38a6b7bccf789af83d37fdb12.jpg

      • BloviateMe

        That looks comfy.

      • Weevie

        Bet it was slippery.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Actually, not so much. The coefficient of friction sucked.

        • You’ve never had to peel yourself off one of these babies.

          • Shanzgood

            It’s like trying to leave a booth at Shoney’s in July.

      • BosGrl

        Every Italian-American family in East Boston in the ’70s.

      • tehbaddr

        ZOMG! A friends parents had that going on in the 70’s. The only time I’ve ever seen it. The living room was not for hanging out in, I guess they removed the coverings when “proper” guests arrived?

    • Weevie

      Throw out the old one.
      That was easy!

    • Jon Sussex
      • Weevie

        That’s the idea. No guts no glory!

      • Thiazin Red

        Our windows all have bars, other wise that might be an option.

      • Scrofula

        I have done that.
        Moved two couches alone, second floor, couldn’t make the turn on the portch/stairs. I dropped the bad couch on the driveway, then bounced the good one off.

    • Weevie

      Find a really horrible slip cover.

    • msanthropesmr

      Have you tried turning ti off anf then turning it back on again?

    • Lambsendbeds

      Can you persuade the cat to pee all over it? That should do it.

      ETA: Should have scrolled down before commenting! Someone already suggested this.

    • tehbaddr

      Fuck hard on it till it breaks!

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    This lady should be Wonkette’s honorary Grandma:

    https://twitter.com/AdamWho/status/839184885277347840

    • Michael R

      Someone make sure Suzy Chaffstick sees this

    • BosGrl

      <3 <3 <3

    • Rasilom

      I say we adopt her. You fight the good fight Lois. We are here with you. Dog this just made my whole day!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I heart Lois.

    • Weevie

      There used to be someone just like her who worked at our local Walgreens, oxygen tank and all.

    • Panika MCD

      she definitely is mine right now.

  • Juan de Fuca

    They brought us surfing, great food and music, the spirit of Aloha and the first state to challenge Trump’s new travel ban:

    Hawaii is not wasting any time challenging President Donald Trump’s new travel ban.
    Attorneys for the state explained in court filings Tuesday that they intend to file a motion Wednesday asking a federal judge to issue a temporary restraining order blocking implementation of the new executive order — and fast.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/07/politics/hawaii-travel-ban-lawsuit/index.html?adkey=bn

    • Picabo

      Mahalo!

    • Weevie

      Trump’s afraid to fly over water, so they’re safe.
      Anything he’s NOT afraid of? Dweeb.

      • BosGrl

        Wow, what a great excuse to get the world’s leaders to come to him and stay in his hotel.

      • Shibusa

        Tiffany?

      • Doug Langley

        So how did he get to Russia?

    • Scrofula

      poi is NOT a great food.
      It is a joke on tourists.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Agreed. The only time I’ve ever tried it was during our wedding party and the stuff is pretty bad ( to me) but poke, kalbi ribs, lomi-lomi salmon, etc.? Broke ‘da mouth. Ono.

        ETA: For the record, many of the locals in Hawaii do indeed enjoy poi so I never criticize it when I’m back home with Mrs. de Fuca. When in Rome, ask for the poke instead.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Poke is awesome

      • DrBigHead

        But they have spam sushi! That makes up for it in my book

        • Juan de Fuca

          Spam musubi also too. Available at the counter of every 7-11 right next to the round block of Sex Wax, as it should be when you’re hitting the beach. My only complaint about the beach towns in San Diego is that you have to go hunting for surfboard wax.

          You’re a service station in one of the most famous surf regions of the World – have surfboard wax at the counter like they do in Hawaii. And spam musubi.

        • Serai 1

          Does anyone know if there’s a good place serving Hawaiian food here in L.A.? The chances of me ever getting to HI are… well, basically, none. But I’d love to have some of these foodstuffs I keep hearing about!

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • OrG

      A lot of people won’t like that.I’m one of them.

    • tehbaddr

      OK,so long as it’s not that Kenyan muslin usurper communist devil socialist black man’s plan!

    • BosGrl

      Holy shit.

    • I would remind those in this demographic to remember this come election time, but it looks like the Republicans are trying to make sure that these people won’t live to vote again.

    • Shibusa

      The important thing is that ACA repeal is good for very rich people and health insurance company executives.

      • Serai 1

        They’re the only REAL people, you know. Everyone else is just a peon wage slave, here to do the Masters’ bidding.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Okay, assholes, piss off the AARP. I remember the last time the Dems owned Congress for three or four decades.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    ♪ ♫ I nailed the two pee hookers
    Like I always do
    How was I to know
    They were with the Russians too?

    • Panika MCD

      why aren’t you watching this TX bathroom bill hearing and writing me songs about it?!

      • Anna Rompage
        • Panika MCD

          that doesn’t help. I have to listen to the testimony.

          • Anna Rompage

            I know, it’s pretty ridiculous…

            A guy I went to high school just posted about how excited he was to go to this guys show… I had never heard of them, and I guess this is their big hit…

            It’s like a Jimmy Buffet glossy weird al country parody, but I think these folks are serious…

          • Panika MCD

            I mean: I can’t play another video and cover this. so I have no idea what the content is.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I invested in Havana, it might have been a crime.
      Send Ivanka and some money, Dad can’t save my ass this time.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A bigly smrt developer
        But somehow I got stuck
        Twatting from the White House
        And you people sure are fucked.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I’m hiding out in Moscow, I am a wanted man.
          Send – fine, Tiffany and some money, things haven’t gone to plan.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            He took our democracy to the junior prom
            Excitable boy they all said….

          • ariel_gee_398

            Then he sold it to Nazis and some guy named Vlad,
            Excitable boy, they all said…

  • Picabo

    Well my Wonkateeres . . . it’s time to hit the hay. Normally I try to leave you with something uplifting or inspirational. I’ve got nothing tonight but silliness. Enjoy!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrxPuk0JefA

    • BosGrl

      Good night, sweet dreams.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That is both surreal and hypnotic. Pleasant dreams.

    • Thiazin Red

      That should be a commercial, I’m impressed by the camera’s toughness.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      That was pretty cool!

    • WAIT! I NEED THAT IPHONE FOR MY HEART SURGERY!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        For reals, kaw?

    • BloviateMe

      LOL, I love that there was a pig immediately fucking with the camera.

      • TJ Barke

        And trying to eat it.

    • Jenny

      That’s exactly how my falling to my death dreams go!

    • Courser_Resistance

      The interior of a pig’s mouth – Never seen that before!

    • Shibusa

      In all my years, I never sausage a thing.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ll pass. I did mention I have acrophobia and fear of flying, right?

    • BadKitty904

      I hate when that happens.

    • Serai 1

      I haven’t seen anything like that since the day the cows ate Grandma!

  • LarryHoudini

    As much as I hate Trump’s America, it’s recently given us some kick-ass journalism and op-ed pieces.
    [checks the NYT; skims David Brooks’ column on dating trends]
    Holy Christ. WTF?

    • Anna Rompage

      David Brooks is now writing about dating?

      FFS!

      • LarryHoudini

        Who knows.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Breaking news on the Muslim ban on Rachel.
    I think they’re expelling all Mooselimb lottery winners.

    • BosGrl

      Ugh – Happiness watching Valley Girl or anger changing to Rachel… what to do…

    • tinker12

      Don’tcha just fking hate the way Twitler says “Mooselimb”? I do.

  • No, wait – THEY DRAGGED ANDREA EFFING MITCHELL OUT OF THE ROOM?

    This is not going to go over well at all at the DC dinner parties.

    • Panika MCD

      wait…what?

    • OneYieldRegular

      I have a sinking feeling that a lot worse in is store for journalists covering Trump.

    • BadKitty904

      Because physically assaulting the media is always a good PR move.

  • Jenny

    You guys what should I do about a little girl overly occupied with marriage??

    • BloviateMe

      Find a boy overly occupied with marriage that has rich parents?

      • Jenny

        Ha she is 8 and that’s still too young for the Duggars!

        That was terrible. I would not send her to the Duggars.

        • BloviateMe

          Terrible, yes. But I giggled.

          • Jenny

            I kind of try to avoid being around her because she’s very loud. So usually she’s yelling about how I am not married and when will I be doing that? Dammit girl, this is Dairy Queen. Shut it and eat your blizzard!

          • BloviateMe

            Good lord, that’s even funnier now.

          • Jenny

            Right? I’m constantly like shhhhhhh, that is no one elses business. Jeez!!

          • BloviateMe

            When the current Mrs. Blov was single, her very young daughter tried to hook her up with a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman. Kept telling him her mom was single etc.

            One of my fave stories.

          • Jenny

            My kids have mostly grown out of that. Cuz mom’s kind of a bitch!

        • OneYieldRegular

          Baron Trump is getting to that age. Just sayin’.

          Barron. Bqwatevwr.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Jenny

        Life goals!!

        • BoziSpicer

          Life ghouls!!