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Image stoled gleefully from @HanaMichels

Now that the GOP’s ACA “replacement” has slouched forth from Paul Ryan’s office, it’s already passed one important test: Donald Trump LOVES it! Yeah, sure, he said he wouldn’t support any plan that didn’t cover everybody, but surely you people don’t really expect the man to tell the truth ever, do you? Besides, there are lots of different ways to define “everybody,” and this plan will definitely cover everybody it covers, Mr. or Ms. SmartyPants!

Trump is already breaking his campaign promises right there, because when he originally said he would replace the Affordable Care Act, he was very specific that the new plan would be terrific, not wonderful. And those, along with “great” and “beautiful,” are the only positive adjectives the man knows. SAD!

Mind you, the RyanCare/Trumpcare/WeDon’tCare plan released Monday only addresses parts of the ACA that can be passed through the filibuster-proof budget resolution process, so assuming the R’s find 51 votes in the Senate to pass it and eliminate the ACA, they may or may not actually pass anything else at all, ever, because why would they go and do that? HHS Secretary Tom Price explained in a presser Tuesday that the whole thing is a “work in progress,” a starting point for further work in Congress. Who knows what final form it’ll take? Maybe single payer, maybe Death Panels for all. He also had this very reassuring answer to a question about whether people would lose coverage under TrumpCare:

 

That’s what you get for asking a two-part question. Can Price guarantee the plan won’t explode the deficit or leave millions without healthcare? Answer: “What I can say is that the goal and the desire — I know — of the individuals on the Hill is to make certain that this does not increase the cost to the Federal government.” So there you go! Nice to see someone in Washington believes in giving a straight answer.

Apparently, nobody told Sean Spicer the House plan is a first draft, as he’s certain it’s perfect as it is, though in 24 hours we’re certain he’ll say he never said this, right here:

 

This is the Obamacare replacement plan that everyone has been asking for, the plan that the president ran on, and the plan that will ultimately save the system.

Or maybe it’s Phase One of that plan, said Trump several hours earlier:

Maybe the “covering everybody” part will be rolled out in part 8 or 9, to be introduced in 2022. Or Never.

Also, a whole lot of Republicans and rightwing groups are already dead set against TrumpCare, because it’s not their true free-market dream of a wholesale immediate repeal of the ACA. Utah Rep. Jim Jordan, head of the House Freedom Caucus, repeated his objection to anything other than ACA repeal and nothing more, calling the AHCA “Obamacare in a different format” and complaining the plan created “a new entitlement.” Justin Amash, another member of the Teabagger Caucus, won points for succinctness, tweeting that RyTrumpCare was “Obamacare 2.0.” The Atlantic points out that with over 30 members, the Brain-Free Caucus could sink the plan all by themselves, since no Democrats will vote for it, either. At a press conference Wednesday afternoon, Jordan and the Freedom Caucus, along with Sens. Rand Paul and Mike Lee, promised to immediately introduce a clean repeal bill only.

And then there were the rightwing think tanks! FreedomWorks complained TrumpCare’s provision to let insurance companies raise rates 30% on anyone who goes without insurance for two months is “the Republican Individual Mandate.” Even before the proposal was released, the Koch brothers’ Americans for Prosperity insisted House Leaders et al. need to “go back to the drawing board” and do something really conservative. The president of Heritage Action, Michael Needham, seemed to think there was some kind of contest to see who could hate the proposal most, issuing a press release with a headline complaining the GOP plan had failed to “move past Obamacare’s Progressive Promise,” although the text made it clear they meant “premise” — Promise is entirely too positive:

“Many Americans seeking health insurance on the individual market will notice no significant difference between the Affordable Care Act (i.e., Obamacare) and the American Health Care Act. That is bad politics and, more importantly, bad policy.

“Rather than accept the flawed premises of Obamacare, congressional Republicans should fully repeal the failed law and begin a genuine effort to deliver on longstanding campaign promises that create a free market health care system that empowers patients and doctors.”

What would such a plan look like? THAT’S SECRET! It would be free-market and cheaper, OK? It just would. The Club for Growth not only condemned the proposal, dubbing it “RyanCare” because real conservatives hate that progressive RINO bastard, but went a step further and threatened to give any Republican voting for the AHCA a bad score on their annual conservative report card. Mark Levin’s dumb website is calling the Ryan proposal “RINOcare,” because a truly conservative plan would reinstate indentured servitude as a form of payment for health care, probably.

And then there are the four really evil Senate RINOs who are against the House proposal because they have this crazy idea that it might be politically risky for Republicans to push millions of people off Medicaid, which seems almost progressive by comparison. What’s up with those guys?

On Monday, four Republican senators — Rob Portman of Ohio, Shelley Moore Capito of West Virginia, Cory Gardner of Colorado and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska — signed a letter saying a House draft that they had reviewed did not adequately protect people in states like theirs that have expanded Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act.

So in addition to condemning TrumpCare, FreedomWorks had to prove it’s got the biggest conservative balls of all by labeling the four “turncoats” and suggesting in a press release they may belong in jail, or at least be called cucks or something:

“Sens. Portman, Capito, Gardner, and Murkowski would be in jail with Bernie Madoff if they had orchestrated such a fraud in the private sector. They have scammed the American people.

“They supported a strong repeal bill when they knew President Obama would never sign it, and now they won’t support the same language because President Trump might sign it,” [national director of campaigns] Noah Wall said.

And how about Democratic condemnation of the proposals? Yeah, Democrats all say it sucks. For the moment, though, it’s looking like the Republicans may be too busy sniping at each other to need any help from Democrats in leaving the ACA in place.

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and supported by contributions from readers like you. Don’t worry, we’re not getting complacent!

[Atlantic / WaPo / The Hill / NYT / Business Insider]

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  • Crank Tango

    Sing. Le. Pay. Er.

    • TJ Barke

      What’re you? French? Go back to frenchland!

      • Crank Tango

        Jamais !

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        FREEDUM FRIS!

    • Red Bird Ω

      Do. Dat. How.

    • Paganish

      Tru Doh Care plz

  • memzilla Ω
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      This is not the ____________ you’re looking for.

    • Amy!

      In matching up the patterns of the old costume and new, I note that the bottom row of ports is missing in the updated costume. This is probably a good thing, considering.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      It’s like some horrible amateur Star Wars porn!

    • Crystalclear12

      That’s just wrong!

  • memzilla Ω
  • TJ Barke

    Eliminating the system isn’t the same as saving it…

    • LesBontemps

      Sometimes you have to burn a village to save it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Is it just me, or is the Obamacare avatar masturbating?

    https://jillianakajill.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/spit-laugh.gif?w=535

  • anwisok
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    You know, we could just keep the current system and go about other business.

    Did I mention I am high?

    • Crank Tango

      You didn’t have to.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, for the time being, that’s probably going to be the case. As long as there are enough hard-core GOTPartiers who think any government plan is the work of the debbil and at least 4 GOP senators who are unwilling to face the wrath of their constituents for just trashing ACA outright, not a damn thing will be done.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    There’s a principle at stake here. A real, life-or-death, moral principle. No Democrat better vote in support of one word of this crap or they’re out. Nobody gets to finagle a claim of “bipartisan”. You fuckers better hold the line a fuck of a lot better than you did in 2014.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Keep your eyes on Sen. Assmunch of WV.

      • capnkrunch

        Hahaha! Everyone knows he’s really a Republican.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Watching Paul Ryan on CNN. HE’S A LYING SACK OF SHIT!

    • Crank Tango
      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Sorry, I panicked!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      But his shit has been warmed by the Sun on a summer’s day, infused with tinctures of mendacity and hokum.

      • leemoder

        So, warmed-over shit.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Blue Bottle flies and dung beetles!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Wait, we’re getting rid of state lines? The Four Corners is going to be SOOOOO boring now.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No state lines = no regulation.

      • OneYieldRegular

        I know. I’m just being obnoxious.

      • BMW

        Suck it, interstate commerce clause.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Yuk. New Mexico would just meld with Texas. Not in my lifetime!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Breitbart is up in arms over this, shows the tiniest bit of compassion for the brown and darker skinned mud people.

  • canes_pugnaces

    I was kinda hoping impeachment and shoving the orange dough ball into a Musk rocket was phase 2 & 3.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Don’t worry, getting rid of state lines…”

    Say, you know who else enjoyed getting rid of state lines?

    • Lambsendbeds

      Is that anything like getting rid of panty lines? Asking for a friend…

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        No panties, no lines. This could be a win-win proposition.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      General Sherman?

    • FlownΩver

      Herr Lebensraum, perhaps?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    HHS Secretary Tom Price explained in a presser Tuesday that the whole thing is a “work in progress,” a starting point for further work in Congress.

    Six years, 60+ votes, and you’re just getting started? OK then…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/afa5e31d0a7dcd2a8b032e4eab9736bacb221bf55fdb77729d69622e18b395e4.jpg

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      What, you expected them to actually have a plan beyond “Rant at the blah Democrat”?
      You optimist.

  • elviouslyqueer

    It’s so nice to see PEOTUS Veronica reassuring the Heathers down at @foxandfriends that everything is going to be okey-dokey.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Well, at least for once it’s the GOPee resorting to a circular firing squad.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Maybe they’ll get so good at it that they’ll keep it up.

  • Red Bird Ω

    What is that? Pedophile Pikachu?

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘PEEK AT YOU!!!’

      • Red Bird Ω

        Ewww. It looks like he was rolling in the dirt and stopped to take the picture with the kid.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Methachu. Helluva drug!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Lives in a van down by the river.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          The last place they saw poor Ash.

  • yyyaz

    ACA 2.0? More like ACA 0.5 beta.

    • elviouslyqueer

      ACA Vista, even more like.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        AOL 0.5 beta. Ask Pence.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        More like ACA ME. Beta.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Tea Potty Caucus: “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? It STILL might help some poor, ‘swarthy,’ people.
    No way!”

    • Nena

      If we don’t punish the poors, how will they know that it’s bad to be a poor??

  • redarmyzombie

    Phase One: Repeal Obamacare
    Phase Two: ???
    Phase Three: Profit!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I don’t know about you, but I’m rushing home to make sure nobody stole my underpants!

      • redarmyzombie

        Underpants? Pfffft! I don’t need those when reading Wonkette!

        • Lambsendbeds

          Since you’re not wearing pants as it’s not allowed when reading the non-comments on Wonkette you HAVE to wear underpants so your ass doesn’t stick to the sofa cushions.

          • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

            So are you saying your ass is sticky or your sofa cushions are? Also, ew.

          • Lambsendbeds

            I have a leather sofa. Even with pants in the summer when you are really sweaty any bare skin sticks to it.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            Lather furniture, like leather car seats, is for aesthetic appreciation, not actual sitting upon.

          • Lambsendbeds

            I must respectfully disagree. When you have pets, furniture that you can wipe clean is a necessity. I find mine very comfortable, apart from not wanting to sit on it while naked.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            Good point. For some reason it’s never been an issue for me, but thinking about it… <shudders>

          • Paul

            Dear Abby, is that you being all hoity toity in here?

          • Lambsendbeds

            Miss Manners.

          • Paul

            What’s Betty Bowers have to say on this?

          • redarmyzombie

            The joke’s on you, Lambsend! My ass is still in bed!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is the Obamacare replacement plan that everyone has been asking for, the plan that the president ran on, and the plan that will ultimately save the system.

    He doesn’t believe it any more than we do, does he?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/24a9b6121e08d9ce030ce2efdbfd34fde442e6b78fdd15c2d2edd6715352e549.jpg

    • Crank Tango
    • Lefty Frizzell

      It’s not even a plan.

      • FlownΩver

        Right now, it’s only a notion. But I think I can get money to make it into a concept. And later turn it into an idea.

  • Crystalclear12

    Democrats: nobody showed up at our press conference to hear us bitch about the replacement plan.

    Press: We’ll get to you after the Republicans quit bitching about their plan. Take a seat it’s going to be awhile.

  • Crank Tango

    I just discovered that the Oreo was actually the knockoff of the Hydrox.

    This is good news for Chump.
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/tim-and-eric-mind-blown.gif

    • Thiazin Red

      Even if thats true, it doesn’t mean Hydrox isn’t a disgusting disappointment. You’re a kid and someone is bringing out cookies, and you’re happy, but when they get closer you see its Hydrox instead of Oreos and all the joy drains out.

    • LucindathePook

      Nah, I preferred Hydrox.

      • FlownΩver

        Et moi aussi, Lucinda.

        • LucindathePook

          Tres bien

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Let the congressional slap fight begin.

  • Moebym the Persistent Returner
    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      NOT those cakes we like.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_MΩment

      OT, but if we jammed a couple thousand kilovolts through Dr. Ben’s hippocampus, do you think he’d remember the verbatim of his med school textbooks that explain what the hippocampus actually fucking does?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Maybe there’s a reason he bragged about his Gifted Hands, not his brain.

      • FlownΩver

        It’s where they hold the hippo pep rallies before homecoming, isn’t it?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      My dad was a doctor and back in the day, docs literally had a kind of lounge in the HOSPITAL for themselves wherein smoke and drink were the norm.

      • Lambsendbeds

        There are still doctor’s lounges in hospitals. Like every other public place they are now no smoking areas. The drinking, OTOH, is probably something gross like kombachu instead of bourbon.

    • Suttree

      Is a cuntcake like a twatwaffle?

  • memzilla Ω

    Let’s be perfectly clear about one thing. RYANCARE IS NOT ABOUT DELIVERING HEALTH CARE, IT IS ABOUT [warning: autoplay audio] GIVING THE RICH BACK THEIR TAX MONEY THAT THE ACA USED TO *PAY* FOR HEALTHCARE. “The biggest revenue raiser in Obamacare is the net investment income tax, which levies an additional 3.8% surtax on interest, dividend, rent, royalty and passive business income of high-income taxpayers; those earning more than $250,000 (if married, $200,000 if single).” WHICH RYANCARE ELIMINATES.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6aadd23e87ffd13bed5620912e8db89b977583c8456b4b40b82526c3015a1737.jpg

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Psst, Forbes?
      DUH.

      • FlownΩver

        And Forbes thinks that’s a pretty damn good argument in its favor.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Don’t forget that pesky limit of $500,000 in executive salaries that insurance companies could deduct on their corporate taxes.

    • OddMan

      Those rich fucks need the money to buy new gold plated iPhones.

  • BMW

    Are there any good articles summarizing how the insurance-across-state-lines idea could/will backfire horribly? I know a few reasons (like the fact a lot of insurance companies are already national, and the reason healthcare plans are regionally cheaper is because actual care doesn’t cost the same in different areas so companies would change premiums to match the region) but I’d like to be well-versed.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Here’s a good one from yesterday courtesy of Bloomberg.
      And here’s the funny thing – selling across state lines is currently permitted under the ACA. It’s just so ludicrous that no one has even attempted to activate that provision.

    • Amy!

      Regulations. Some states require more (less so now, with the standards imposed by the ACA, than before, but there are still states that have stricter standards). Once insurors can choose which state is going to be their regulator, it’s a race to the bottom.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        The other problem is that entering new markets is expensive in terms of start-up costs for insurers. It isn’t like you can just buy up a list of doctors – building a network of providers is cumbersome and time-consuming.

        • FlownΩver

          Providers? Don’t kid yourself. Without regulation they’ll just be premium-collection companies.

    • FlownΩver

      You’ll tend to wind up with a fair m=number of “As Seen On TV” policies.

      But wait! Order today and we’ll cover TWO snakebites. They just have to happen on the SAME DAY!

  • hendenburg2

    Dok? May I be allowed to propose a modification to the Wonket Style Guide?

    Proposal: “Teabagger Caucus” should from hereon be referred to as the “Teabagger Cactus”

  • Mavenmaven

    Now it will be both refugees and patients in need of treatment flooding the Canadian borders.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Canada: tidying up after the US since 1783.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Josh Marshall:

    “I just had to ask someone on staff whether Ryan/GOP could have fucked this up as much as it looks like or whether this is just positioning.”

    subsequent response:

    “Verdict seems to be option #1”
    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/839176773652852736

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Trump’s Razor strikes again: “Ascertain the stupidest possible scenario that can be reconciled with the available facts, and that answer is likely correct.”

  • PixieThis

    Anything in the bill about paying in eggs or chickens?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Nah. But loads of language about fucking chickens.

  • Sardonicuss

    Somewhere, orange Boner chugs another tumbler of Makers, laughs and mutters about “herding rabid cats”.

  • boyblue122
    • hendenburg2

      might want to change your photo order there…

      • boyblue122

        whos first? goofy Drumpf doctor?

        • hendenburg2

          yep.

          Edit: for bonus points here, change the other doctor to Patrick Dempsey

          • Lascauxcaveman

            LOL, my wife and I are making out way through Season Two of that show, and by now we pretty much hate everyone. Except Dr Bailey, she’s pretty cool.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Every time I see a photo of Trump’s physician, my mind goes to one of those Skid Row dentists like might be described in a Raymond Chandler novel.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        ‘He lounged behind his desk like a bloated whale, washed up on the beach at Malibu. He wore a yellow lab coat that had once been white, a pink shirt that had once been red, and a tie that had come off some rubby. There was a picture of the President on the wall where any other doctor would have his diploma. He needed a haircut, a shower, and sobering up. He was drinking his lunch as I walked through his door…’

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Brent Spiner in Independence Day

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Anyone with that many icons on their desktop is seriously not with it at all.

    • Thiazin Red

      Things I never noticed in that picture before:

      1. Every diploma, or “diploma” as the case may be, is crooked.
      2. Who is that a drawing of? A younger version of himself?
      3. American flag cowboy boots in the back.

  • Getting rid of state lines

    FINALLY. Blue Cross of Kentucky can really undercut the prices of and stick it to those bastards of Blue Cross, California.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    On Monday, four Republican senators — Rob Portman of Ohio, Shelley Moore Capito of West Virginia, Cory Gardner of Colorado and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska — signed a letter saying a House draft that they had reviewed did not adequately protect people in states like theirs that have expanded Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act.

    Nothing from vulnerable and up for re-election senators Dean Heller or Jeff Flake?

    That’s OK, I’ve got a friend I can stay with in AZ and I got to know NV pretty well after phonebanking Silver State voters last year!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Heller has got to be sweating bullets because Sandoval made a very big deal about expanding Medicaid and he’s probably none to happy ol’ Dean isn’t going to bat for our state.

    • Nena

      They’ve also got Senators – Ted Cruz and a couple of others – who say they won’t get on board with a refundable tax credit. Because fuck the poor. What did they ever do for anyone?

      • FlownΩver

        Fuck the poor. You said so yourself.

  • Crystalclear12

    Republicans: Kill it with fire!
    Democrats: We brought matches😈

  • fawkedifiknow

    I fully expect these asswipes to propose making medical debt not dischargeable in bankruptcy – just so they can fuck the poor and middle class one more time.

    • ariel_gee_398

      That’s probably Phase 3.

    • The Wanderer

      It would be the obvious step, yes.

    • Creepoman

      Goddammit, stop giving them ideas! Next they’ll make medical debts transferable across generations . . . shit, I did it again.

    • Snopes Shop

      They want to kill us.

  • FDRliberal

    Some Republicans like Rand Paul are just so damn upset about TrumpCare, not because it will kick 10 million off their insurance, but rather because it won’t kill enough people.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    … And don’t forget: Ryan is the policy wonk! Or so our betters tell us. Not sure what that makes the rest of the GOP.

    • Suttree

      Idiots?

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Well, that might be generous.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Fucking morans?

    • Tovarish Z

      In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        More “in the land of the blind, the delusional man who thinks he sees also thinks he is king”.

    • Miles Monroe

      Sociopaths?

    • georgiaburning

      He’s the policy wonk because he can spend 15 minutes on Charlie Rose describing talking about a pile of shit and making it seem like filet mignon. He can use complete sentences and correct grammer and stare earnestly into the camera or someone’s eyes while he talks. Of course he has no soul, but must figure he got a good deal on the trade.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sens. Portman, Capito, Gardner, and Murkowski would be in jail with Bernie Madoff if they had orchestrated such a fraud in the private sector. They have scammed the American people.

    “Oh, for fuck’s sake”

    – Bernie Madoff victims

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump actually has perpetrated fraud, we know about it, and he’s still at large. Go figure.

      • Nena

        Repeatedly, and often against small businesses that were unlikely to have the resources to take him to court.

    • hendenburg2

      who the fuck said that?

      Edit: whoops, skipped to the comments

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Some asshole from FreedomWorks, in the post.

  • marxalot

    Whaaaaa? You mean folks aren’t just out in the streets singing hymns of praise for DonTCare?!

    • Amy!

      That’s the perfect name.

  • HogeyeGrex

    More like:
    Trumpcare—
    http://i.imgur.com/eUCIzCI.png?1

  • Suttree

    Watched Spicer and Price earlier. Their main talking point on why it is so great was the fact that it’s only 100+ pages. The repeated statement that it was only 10% as many pages as the ACA just doesn’t mean a fucking thing guys!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Don’t forget Spicer ranting about how the ACA was “rammed down our throats” while at the same time the GOP is demanding these two turds be heard and passed out of committee in less than 48 hours (before the CBO can score them).

      • Suttree

        He also said that the bill had been out there for everyone to read. How did he forget that it was in a locked room somewhere being moved around to hide it!????????

        • FlownΩver

          It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “Beware of the Leopard.”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “It’s less of a ramming motion, more of a thrusting motion.”
        — Sean Spicer

      • FlownΩver

        Hmmm… We have to pass it before we see what’s in it…

        Didn’t that used to be a pants-wetting aspect of ACA?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Gol’ darn ink is espensive! And you hippies outta that us fer savin’ trees!
      ~morans

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      And 10 of those pages are dedicated to ensuring that lottery winners don’t receive Medicaid. Seriously.

    • Manders

      He literally said the words “This is government [pointing to ACA]; this is not government [pointing to term paper – sorry, health care plan].”

      Dude, I could not have said it better myself.

  • doktorzoom

    Fucking Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks called TrumpCare “socialized medicine” on MSNBC just now.

    Don’t go trying to woo us, sumbitch.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I don’t mind MSNBC interviewing GOoPer dittoheads. I just resent that they don’t zap them with 50kV out of the studio seat whenever they lie out their facehole.

      With volts.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Pepper spray would be more humane. And hilarious.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Icy Hot oozes out of the seat.

      • Infrequentcontributor

        ^^ That’s funny right there. With volts! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        “Next you’ll be telling me Watts on second base!”

      • Paul

        “With volts”. Too damn funny and I’ll take the banhammer hit for you.

      • Paganish

        65,000,000 illegal volts? ;)

      • OddMan

        Seeing that would make me go, “Ohm” and get all amped up unless I have resistance.

        Sorry, I’ll stop now.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Words mean nothing anymore. Jesus.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
        • You made waste an hour on 90s videos dammit.

          • Lamashtar

            I am really tempted..

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Is why Bear has stopped saying them. Works much better to just #chomp instead. Try it with me — it’s therapeutic! Simply unhinge your jaw, pretend your favorite GOPee jagoff is in the center, and rehinge. Let’s all #chomp!

    • clubseal

      Too lazy to do a meme, just imagine I posted a photo with the caption “You keep saying ‘socialism.’ I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

    • Me not sure

      “Those damned commie Trumpsheviks will be a’comin’ fer our slaves next!”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I got wøøed ønce.

    • elviouslyqueer

      We refer to that as “dancing with what brung ya.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dok, need your help, my eyes just rolled out of my sockets en route to Cheyenne…do you think you can intercept them along I-84?

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘Socialised’ = ‘somebody’s getting something that I’m not.’

    • TJ Barke

      It’s taking a lot for me to not just chuck my phone at the wall right now.

  • memzilla Ω

    And another thing. This whole “cross state lines” thing that the Rethuglicans say will bring down heathcare costs. FULMINATE OF HORSESHIT. What that is about, is bribing some GOP state legislature to rubber-stamp a piece of ALEC-written legislation that allows the highest-premium, highest-deductible, lowest-coverage shadow of a policy to be called a “health care plan” for RyanCare.

    This is EXACTLY what happened witth credit cards. Why do you think your credit card company is incorporated in South Dakota? Because South Dakota took lobbyist money and said, “how would you like this bill to be worded, Mr. Bank Lobbyist?” and it removed every restriction against usury and rapacious fees and penalties.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Proud Liberal

    Why do Republicans hate the American people so much?

    • Sardonicuss

      They lurve Murka, they just hate all the Murikins.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Oh, they’re awfully nice to the richest ones.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Doesn’t live up to their fantasies?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Because they don’t have friends, love, or joy in their horrible lives.

    • Logic of Color

      They don’t hate all Americans…they just live in fear that one person somewhere will get healthcare the don’t deserve

    • whitroth

      Because they work for special interests (billionaires), and they all see life as a zero-sum game… so for them to “win”, *ALL* the rest of us have to lose.

      “Win”, btw, is defined as “he who dies with the most money wins” (or, rather, is still fucking dead).

    • DainBramage

      Because they’re horrible people.

    • Miles Monroe

      They’re getting paid to.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “In our defense, we hate some Americans slightly less than we hate the other Americans, and this is a strategy that seems to be working for us.”
      — The Republican Party

    • UnsaltedSinner

      They love the American people. They just think that category is a lot smaller than you do.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Sardonicuss

      That’s not funny. Get out of my mind!!

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Why don’t they just get it over with and tax us poors at 100% and give the money to the wealthy to trickle it down on us like a Moscow pee hooker?

  • Vincent Ricola

    The best thing I heard today was one of the CNN talking heads (sitting at a desk) ask another CNN talking head (hovering in a floating box) “can you tell me the actual purpose of this particular healthcare plan?”

    After a few seconds of silence without an answer, everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

    • “can you tell me the actual purpose of this particular healthcare plan?”

      Yes. F*CK OBAMA.

  • Logic of Color

    TrumpCare? I wish my kid would learn SaxCare. Cost me $120 to get those valves fixed.

  • Inner Venom

    I did it very fitting that you chose to use Pikachu in the picture for the article. Why? Because in Pokémon games they have free healthcare for super powered animals and America doesn’t even have it for human beings!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    If only there was a comparison one could make to perfectly express what this proposal is like… Oh, what’s that you say, Krugman?

    https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/839234021641105411

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Suse

        Why doesn’t the idiot wear a tie clip, FFS?

        • Vincent Ricola

          There aren’t enough staff in his Chinese sweatshops to make trump tie clips. He’s hoping to bring those jobs to American children soon though.

        • UnsaltedSinner

          The way he wears his tie, it would just bounce around and hit him in the nuts.

          • formerChild

            He actually used to sell a Trump monogrammed tie clasp. It was no doubt gold-plated aluminum (or plastic). I doubt that would do much damage.

          • Charlotteopaul

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl480c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !dl480c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs770WebUltimateGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl480c:….,……

          • FlownΩver

            Objection. Assumes… [hell, you know the rest]

        • Moebym the Persistent Returner

          Yeah. You’d think he’d want his big red ties to point continuously toward his tremendous, bigly brain.

          • FlownΩver

            He thinks they do.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Nobody ever gave him one.

        • FlownΩver

          Idiot. Self-answering question.

        • Meccalopolis

          Or button his frigging coat ffs

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        The badly-tied tie, the sloppy shirt, the unnatural hair, the spray-tan line, the TRIPLE chin…

        • formerChild

          I wonder if he anticipated how many times a day he would have to glue up his hair if he were elected? Evidently not, because it looks pretty scraggly about half the time. Especially later in the day.

      • formerChild

        You’d think he’d learn his lesson after the ridicule he got for this picture. But there are at least 3-4 pictures showing the tape at later dates.

        Or it might just be that his ‘handlers’ aren’t letting him see any news that isn’t positive. Nah…they’d never do that would they?

      • Oneofthebobs

        If you look closely, there’s an 18 and 1/2 minute gap between those tapes.

    • Crank Tango

      He’s a terrible piece of shit, but I don’t really see what the tape has to do with the knot.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Well, if he tied a proper knot, he wouldn’t need the tape.

        • Crank Tango

          I guess so. I just think he’s trolling us with the tape so we look petty.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            I don’t think he is capable of thinking that deeply.

          • Crank Tango

            No but that shitsipper bannon probably spends all his sober minutes thinking up dumb headgames like that.

          • UnsaltedSinner

            I recommend Josh Marshall’s useful method for dealing with such questions about The Donald, known as “Trump’s Razor”:

            “Ascertain the stupidest possible scenario that can be reconciled with the available facts, and that answer is likely correct.”

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          If he had a proper brain, he wouldn’t need the lawyers!

        • theCryptofishist

          Or even if he paid a decent wage to a proper butler/valet/dresser.

      • whitroth

        That’s because he’s A Idiot, and his mother never taught him how to tie a tie, so that it’s *even*, and then you can run the narrow end through the label.

        Dolt, dolt, dolt, duke of dolts, dolts, dolts, he is.

        • puredog

          Other photos reveal that he sometimes runs the narrow end through the label AND uses Scotch tape. A belt-and-suspenders kinda guy.

          • Crank Tango

            I tuck my ties into my underpants.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            So does Dolt 45.

        • Ever had that thing with a tie where you manage to make it way too long, redo it, still manage to make it way too long, and then eventually do it right? I have unfortunately…

  • capnkrunch

    Failing NYT via RationalWiki (a bit old but still topical):

    Here’s another possible consequence of repealing the Affordable Care Act: It would be harder for many people to retire early.

    Americans reaching 65 become eligible for Medicare. Before reaching that age, some can get retiree coverage from their former employers. But not very many companies, especially small ones, offer medical insurance to retirees. If early retirees are poor enough, they could turn to Medicaid. To retire early, everybody else would need to turn to the individual health insurance market. Without the subsidies and protections the A.C.A. put in place, health care coverage would be more difficult to obtain, cost consumers more where available, and provide fewer benefits than it does today.

    That means that if the A.C.A. is repealed, retiring early would become less feasible for many Americans.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      ACA has also allowed a lot more people to work for themselves. Or to work part-time.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Yup! I was working on a plan to get out of the corporate machine and freelance that I’ve now put on hold almost entirely because this is so up in the air and could make that plan completely impossible for me for the near future.

        • theCryptofishist

          Best of luck.

      • capnkrunch

        I have worked with so many people who stuck around shitty minimum-wage jobs because their families needed insurance.

        Job lock is real. When you are working a dead-end job full time it is difficult to scrounge up the resources to get the training/education/etc to find better employment.

        Removing the specter of healthcare as one of peoples’ primary concerns frees them to pursue different and better things. We end up with more small businesses, more innovation, a better educated workforce, etc, etc. These are all “rising tides” kind of things; they strengthen our economy as a whole.

        More coverage is better for literally everyone except the insurers and those beholden to them.

        • Mike Steele

          Lady MS here: After years w/USPS. continued paying BC/BS premiums while working p/t job. Employer discontinued coverage for their ‘valued’ retirees, so my former work partner is still on the job; she’ll be 80in June…

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Uh, oh, inconveniencing Teh Oldz. That’s sure death for a Republican!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Master Contrail Program

    After the privitazation of all pokeballs in the name of right-wing ideology, America will learn a new meaning of the phrase “Gotta catch ’em all.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trumpcare/Ryancare should be called L.O.S.E.R. care
    (L)etting
    (O)ur
    (S)ick
    (E)xperience
    (R)igor mortis

    • boyblue122

      GOP betting control of the house and some senate seats on some crappy health care bill

  • boyblue122

    OT – Wikileaks just straight up trolling now

    Title of article: Vault 7: CIA Hacking Tools Revealed

    excerpt from the article:

    Japanese style Faces
    ¢‿¢
    ©¿© o
    ª{•̃̾_•̃̾}ª
    ¬_¬
    ¯\(º_o)/¯
    ¯(º o)/¯
    ¯_(⊙︿⊙)_/¯
    ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    WTF

    Thats all thats in the article

    • Vincent Ricola

      Now?

      • boyblue122

        well, they arent putting any effort in

        • Vincent Ricola

          Yeah, their “building crushers” aren’t what they used to be, that’s for sure.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Assmunch will never leave the basement of the Ecuadorian embassy. Ever.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        That’s what we’re afraid of.
        – Ecuador

    • capnkrunch

      I actually find that article to be a useful resource. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

      • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

        me too. copy/saved to a text file for later use!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    If this is the Republican idea of “mercy”, I’ll take the slow, lingering death please.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/839234963593695233

    • Sardonicuss

      Thank god I live in the exact middle of nowhere in this country. If was anywhere close to these people…I would hunt / punch them for sport.
      * with votes…or..voles? Angry angry voles

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Much like the Nazis did an act of mercy by euthanizing the mentally ill and feeble.

    • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

      Fuck off, Paul Ryan. Selfish prick.

    • SayItWithWookies

      That’s the same thing he said about grandma.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I’ll just repeat this here.

    Just to get this shit off of my chest this morning: TL;DR & etc…

    THE GOP REPEAL AND REPLACE FOR ACA, SIMPLIFIED

    Phase 1: “Bye bye Ebil Obummercare!”
    a. Fewer people are insured.
    b. The people who are insured pay more.
    c. The US gets sicker.
    d. More people die.
    e. Insurance CEOs and shareholders pocket more. PROFIT!
    f. GOP Congress Critters get campaign money from greedy insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies, and various other healthcare outfits.
    g. Problems? No problem. They get fixed in Phase 2! Please be patient suckers!

    Phase 2: “See, our new GOP Shit Sandwich Care is working so much better!”
    a. Even less people are insured.
    b. The people who are insured pay even more.
    c. The US gets even sicker.
    d. Even more people die.
    e. Insurance CEOs and shareholders pocket even more. PROFIT!
    f. Existing conditions? Fuck you, sicko!
    g. GOP Congress Critters get more campaign money from greedy insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies, and various other healthcare outfits.
    h. Problems? No problem. They get fixed in Phase 3! Please be patient suckers!

    Phase 3: “GOP’s Pay no Attention to the Death Panels Behind That Curtain Health Care Plan!”
    a. Even less people are insured.
    b. The people who are insured pay even more.
    c. The US gets even sicker.
    d. Even more people die.
    e. Insurance CEOs and shareholders pocket even more. PROFIT!
    f. Existing conditions? Fuck you, sicko! HAHAHAHAHA!
    g. GOP Congress Critters get even more campaign money from greedy insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies, and various other healthcare outfits.
    h. Congress votes in even more extensive enhancements to the Congress’ Healhcare Program. We got ours! Stick it up your ass, suckers!
    i. Problems? No, those problems in your head. There are no problems. Our new HealthScare System is a Finely Tuned Well-Oiled Machine! Quit being hysterical!
    j. You are hysterical. Sorry, being hysterical is not covered, asshole.

    Epilog: People who are now in poorer health and those unable to get insurance, or those who are in the poor house because of what they are paying for insurance vote yet again for Republicans. Rinse, wash, repeat.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      The problem is that some people who vote Republican are okay with their suffering as long as the people they hate are suffering as much or more.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I simply refuse to believe this. This just can’t be right.

  • Master Contrail Program

    So…….a Dirty Pikachu? Cocktail? Sex act? Or magic trick?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Introducing Trumpcare / Ryancare to our Seniors and the poorz’!
    “Lean forward. It’s right down there. Your suffering will soon be over.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4edf17e60cd74223984254b71ed6810153d8f2ad62694013ac71305009a2c224.png

  • Paperless Tiger

    Same thing only worse fail.

  • OTB

    I like DonTCare best.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    CNN has the Winners & Losers for this bill.
    Winners: Young and healthy, rich people, insurance companies
    Losers: Poor people, sick people, old people

    • Thiazin Red

      Well the young and healthy win until they aren’t anymore. I was young and healthy until I tripped and destroyed my right ankle and the insurance company refused to pay unless I sued the restaurant first, and stuck me with 50k in bills.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Bottom line: never need expensive emergency health care, ever.

      • Suttree

        Do outstanding medical bills ever go away? I have about $80k that is 9 years old and Charity Hospital doesn’t exist anymore.

        • Thiazin Red

          The restaurant did end up paying, but it was stressful during the meantime. If they hadn’t I would still be paying for it.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            And if they hadn’t, I’m sure your health insurance company would have happily reimbursed you for your costs in bringing the suit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

          • LucindathePook

            And of course you had to pay a lawyer, no?

          • theCryptofishist

            So, there’s a lot of insurance companies pushing for lawsuits, I bet, and I never hear anyone talking about it. I think that’s a conversation worth having.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Obviously, the important thing is the rich people and the insurance companies win.

      The GOP still does not grok how risk pools work.

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, but how much grokking of how anything works do they have?

    • Gosala

      In other words, the usual.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Ahhh, the American dream.

  • Sardonicuss

    On the good side, 2018 should be a bloodbath. 2006 all over again..even in the geriatric.gerrymandered states.
    Bad side: Lots of people needlessly die. The Republican credo.

    • georgiaburning

      Don’t just assume that. We need to get out the vote, especially in the primaries

      • DahBoner

        There’s a deep systemic cancer in America and a few light shocks ain’t gonna cure it.

      • Sardonicuss

        Heh. I have lived through Reagan second term, Shrub second term…and now Drump. You think I count on anything?

    • DahBoner

      I heard the same last year. Trump doesn’t have anyone smart on his campaign.

      Turns out it was about who could be the dumbest, most obnoxious idiot.😁

  • Ricky Gay

    What a bunch of fucks

  • Bill D. Burger

    For every Trump fucktard who’s on the ACA rolls and has insurance for the first time in their lives____ ENJOY!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/65bc9b99f310617a90ecadc72a6d40fab228631dc3f31dfe5ac784e1e7bd9b2e.jpg

    • kareemachan

      But they *love* ACA – it’s that horrible, awful, no-good Obamacare they can’t stand.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The thing that I truly, truly do not understand about this whole kerfuffle is this: There are no fatal flaws in Obamacare. Yes, there are things that could be improved, and it would be simple to improve them, IMO. Just junking the whole thing and starting over is like buying a new refrigerator because the handle is loose. Except that you generally don’t see thousands and thousands of people marching in protests because of loose refrigerator handles. The Reptiles are just so rage-focused on tearing down the most enduring legacy of Obama’s presidency, they’re willing to risk their seats in Congress over it, to which I say LOL, go for it, bro.

    • Gosala

      They hates the black man, yess they do precious. It’s the blacksies plan, yess. We hates it!

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        <golf clap>

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The greatest thing they could ever do would be to bring back the mandate, and get more young, healthy people into the risk pool. That would bring overall costs of coverage down. THEN they go after the health care providers and bring the delivery of care down, because it’s scandalous right now how that “works”. The whole idea is that the insurance companies will have better leverage than individuals to force down health care costs. Ideally, you have something like the VA who simply tell big pharma to stick it.

    • veska

      But the poor insurance companies don’t earn enough of the monies!

    • snark-lurker

      they all think that by ’18 they will float right over this & they probably will.

    • LucindathePook

      Also too, it came from the Heritage Fndn. in the first place.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      “There are no fatal flaws in Obamacare.” And that’s precisely why they hate it. It’s a government program that successfully taxes wealthy people to provide healthcare for poor people. Can’t have that.

      • Meccalopolis

        It was always an existential that to them. Any notion that government serves a useful role leaves them with only the fungelicals

    • therblig

      for the gop, its flaws are all right there in black and black.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There are issues that should be fixed. If you’re older, but too young for Medicaid, and make too much for the subsidies, you can get stuck with an expensive, high deductible plan. Of course that IS better than nothing at all, or a plan that doesn’t cover your chronic condition. You can get a better paying job in the middle of the year, and have to pay back your subsidy money. If you’re self employed, and your income fluctuates from one year to the next, it can be tough to figure out what you’ll pay.
      All these things could be fixed. And the states that accepted the money find it to be a large, unofficial stimulus package. It kept rural hospitals from closing. Businesses near medical clinics like sandwich shops saw a big increase in income.
      Trumpcare is a bust, but everyone in Congress hates it anyway.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • CATMAN

    I wonder what those folks in Dumbfucky, sorry, Kentucky are going to do when they find out that there will be REAL death panels for those covered under the Medicaid expansion

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Blame it on Obama, or maybe Hillary, I’m sure.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, we don’t have those anymore. Our asshat teabagger governor dismantled Kynect as soon as he took office, despite the $20 million it cost to set up and the massive percentage of people who were able to get coverage for the first time. Guess what happened? no, you’ll never guess, I’ma tell ya: people who voted for him said “I didn’t think he’d really do it.”

      • So you guys are now on the federal exchange? Did you guys expand medicaid?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Yes, and yes.

      • therblig

        i laugh whenever i think about this:

        ‘I never thought leopards would eat MY face,’ sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.

        • TheBoatDude

          This needs more fists.

      • TheBoatDude

        How do you resist the urge to yell “You stupid fucking hicks!” every time you leave the house?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Mike Steele

      That oughta make the Trumpoids feel empowered:)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I guess they are trying to sew confusion between the ACA and this turd, but AHCA is disappointing.

    I was expecting one of their snazzy acronyms, like “Federal Universal Coverage to Kill the Uninsured Act” the FUCK U Act

    • theCryptofishist

      SAFETY-LU

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I like Trumpcare.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Though Trumpdontcare is more accurate.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        Make the bitch own it.

  • BearLeft

    Maybe now the trailer trash who voted for these douchebags will begin to understand that Trump’s “we” doesn’t include them.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      <thinks> Nah.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You are correct, sir!

    • TJ Barke

      No, they’ll all believe it’s democrat’s, liberal’s, minority’s fault somehow. Because fox/rush limpballs/breitfart will tell them so.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Whoever the hell decided to hire Hugh Hewitt as a “commentator” on MSNBC should be kicked in the nuts repeatedly and made to sit in the tiniest chair in the building while experiencing it.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      Your lips to God’s ears.

    • Mike Steele

      Same person who invited Greta to pull up a chair

  • TJ Barke

    Can we chant “death to republicans” yet?

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    I’ve got an idea! Since the GOP thinks guns are more important than people, let’s set up a trade. For every person who loses their insurance as a result of their new “plan,” we take away someone’s gun license. Since more people will die as a result of losing healthcare, we can mitigate those losses by lowering the number of gun deaths.

    • veska

      It’s a good idea, but the GOP will never go for it.

    • John Frazer

      Better yet, give everyone who loses their insurance a free gun. That way you’ll get more guns out on the streets and the uninsured will have the sort of voice Republicans are bound to respect. I’m sure there’s no way this plan will backfire.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • ariel_gee_398

      Is killing off their base really a growth move for Republicans?

      • snark-lurker

        The gop base are rapid breeders.

        • Duke

          Mexicans?

          • snark-lurker

            No I should’ve said “inbreeders”.

      • Crank Tango

        Hey, they’ve got the ever-expanding base of virgin nazis to, um, tapp.

      • TheBoatDude

        They’re breeding new ones what with education funding cuts, and all…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      This needs to be a full-page ad in AARP magazine and any newspaper with a large readership of people over fifty.

      • puredog

        Um — I would wager that most paper newspapers are consumed by people over 50 nowadays.

      • LucindathePook

        Oh, I think it will be, based on my AARP mail.

      • theCryptofishist

        Like Playboy.

    • DahBoner

      Hahaha. Jokes on them. The seniors I know are too greedy/foolish with money/poor to stop working. I don’t ask. Don’t want to know.

    • theCryptofishist

      Ooooh, “handouts” is good!

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again….”

  • DahBoner

    We’ve already got rid of “state lines” dumbass..

    I live in State #1, work for a company in State #2 and have insurance in State #3. Today. Under Obamacare.
    https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9vMwajeNM5j8Wu8f8Q18fHGba5Qj316ZFcf3VMOK3Dh0UhnE5bA

  • boyblue123

    GOP looks like they picked the wrong fight

    https://twitter.com/AARPadvocates/status/838847647033274369

    • Crank Tango

      “age tax” simple, I love it. Why do we seem to be so bad at coming up with simple shit like that?

      • theCryptofishist

        Um, we resist oversimplification? Not that this case doesn’t drill down to something fundamental.

        • Crank Tango

          Exactly, who has time to read and read and read and learn stuff. We’re fighting against evil people, it shouldn’t be so hard to come up with some pithy slogans, and not just nitpickery.

    • theCryptofishist

      Ah, Peer Gynt Suite…
      That’s one smart squirrell…

    • You don’t mess with those muthas.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Shit. I’ll have to quit tearing up the membership cards they keep sending me and toss them some Ameros.

  • Treehopper1104

    So for the most part, it’s bad because it doesn’t take away health care from enough people. Got it.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • theCryptofishist

      It’s not easy being green…

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I must be staggeringly underestimating the numbers of people who are insurance company CEOs and major stockholders. Apparently there are enough of them to make up for all the people who will vote against any reptile who votes for this bill. Who knew?

    • mancityRed6

      with the extra money the politicians will get in donations, they can make some really snazzy ads for when everyone forgets about how they voted.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ef7dcd015245bfc8583299eedce09162d2b133f7df6e31a4e318d64b2dfd2ba.jpg “We find out that Jason Chaffetz is pro-choice (on some things). – Pat Bagley

  • biologydave

    I’d like to meet the two or three people who are actually surprised by, well, any of this nonsense.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Really? One doubts they would be very interesting people.

  • SmokinGood

    Never interrupt your enemy when they are too distracted by intramural bickering to even try to attack. — The Biden, probably

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Popcorn time.

  • Poly_Ester

    You might even say that the AHCA was un-PC, but that would be un-possible

  • ltmcdies
  • OrG

    Right Wing “Think” Tank.Fake News,there is no such thing.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “At a press conference Wednesday afternoon, the Jordan and Freedom Caucus, along with Sens. Rand Paul and Mike Lee, promised to immediately introduce a clean repeal bill only.”

    These stupid fucks in the Tea Party never actually talk to their toothless, poor, stupid constituents. If they did, they’d know these morons that vote for them are too dumb to even know what their own party stands for. If they actually knew what Republicans wanted to pass (less SS and Medicare), they would NEVER vote for you, so please, by all means, go ahead and fuck the idiots who voted for you, and see if they’re dumb enough to continue to vote for you. Answer: “probably so, because they are idiots.”

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      Yes they know. The Rs play the rubes with the guns, god /abortion, freedomliberty, socialism, minorities cards every. fucking.day.

    • doktorzoom

      Whoops, thanks to careless copypaste, that should be “Jordan and the Freedom Caucus” — fixed!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I noticed there was something off about it, but it’s hard to see, or be rational, through my rage tears. Sheesh…this is my new normal, and I’ve got 200 more weeks of this garbage.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The rubes and goobers don’t matter. They will continue voting for the pukes because it’s tribal with them. The people they care about are the donors, who don’t know or care how the average person lives.

  • badtonto

    Just read the New York Times article. Jesus H. Christ!…70 million Americans on Medicaid? So that means 70 million people who couldn’t afford freaking health insurance under the existing ACA, doesn’t it?? That’s one gawd awful lot of people! 😕

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Wow, that’s 1/5 the population. Hm, I guess that seems about right.

    • SayItWithWookies

      And most of the people who can afford healthcare can only do so with subsidies.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Well, no. A good number of those 70M are over 65.

      • Biff52

        Over 65 puts you on Medicare, not Medicaid.

      • badtonto

        Well OK, but people in the States over 65 are on Medicare, no?The NYT article stated 70 million are on Medicaid. Two different programs (unless the article’s author meant the total combined of both programs and flubbed it because that’s not what the article states)

        • badtonto

          From the NYT article:

          “The bill would provide each state with a fixed allotment of federal money for each person on Medicaid, the federal-state program for more than 70 million low-income people.”

          As I said earlier; holy fuck balls!…that’s an awful lot of people who couldn’t afford health insurance in the first place!

          • Lefty Wright

            Lots of kids are on Medicaid. In my state, some parents qualify with extremely low income, as do disabled people and elderly if their income is very low, but no one else between 18 and 65 is eligible. No Medicaid expansion for the idiots in the state lege.

    • Jgb979

      I mean 30% of the population makes less than 25,000 per year…

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8f/Personal_Household_Income_U.png

      That actually seems about right.

      • doktorzoom

        All Obama’s fault, I might add.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        So they should have no problem using those HSA’s to pay for their insurance, amirite?

    • Doug Langley

      I’m on Medicaid. Thank you so very much, adjunct college professorship.

      • mailman27

        Well, somebody’s got to take a haircut it your U wants to get out some glossy brochures and sportsball scholarships. And a whole fat layer of administrators don’t come cheap. JK, what’s going on in academia is a fucking shame and a sin. Good luck, DL.

  • Yr. Gma

    /WeDon’tCare. Perfect.

    • Biff52

      Or to pin it on 45*, DonTCare.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Ryan/DonTCare” captures it pretty well.

  • Oneofthebobs

    It’s just common sense; if you don’t get sick, you’ll be OK.

    • Ωbjectifier

      And if you do, die quickly please.

      • Treehopper1104

        You can die at whatever speed you like, so long as you don’t cost us anything. Actually, maybe go ahead and suffer a little more.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        And it’s all on you. Everyone knows that people who exercise and eat healthy never, ever get sick- like that coach on the Biggest Loser who just had a heart attack in the gym.

      • Keith Taylor

        And if you fight in foreign wars and are exposed to chemicals made by western chemical firms, we really appreciate your courage and sacrifice but you are being most inconvenient by getting sick, so die quickly please with the rest. In fact why couldn’t you just get shot dead on the spot? We’d have found that even cheaper.

        • TheBoatDude

          But, support our troops by putting this sticker on the back of your gas guzzzling SUV!

      • Jennaratrix

        No, no, no – die a long, drawn-out death which will bankrupt your family after you’re gone; they want to suck as much money out of the middle class as possible.

  • JoeChristmas

    We’re getting rid of state lines, and then giving block grants to states!

    • DahBoner

      I already have insurance that goes across state lines. It’s already legal under Obamacare.

  • azeyote

    who needs old people anyway – getting rid of child labor laws would bring down life expectancy which would bring down insurance rates, and pesky entitlements – the younger you break down and die the better off it is for the rest – of course since i’m already old this won’t affect me

    • Keith Taylor

      Absolutely. Get rid of the child labour laws. Those prepubescent freeloaders need to toughen up. Ayn Rand heroes went to work in steel mills and coal mines when they were fourteen (even twelve) and they became titans of industry. It’s all there in ATLAS SHRUGGED. Not that Trump will have read it, it has words.

      • TheBoatDude

        Bleeding profusely is no reason to stop working!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Make America Go To the Poor Farm Again!

  • James Lamere

    Step right up, folks . Youre just in time for the ranting, shit-throwing Republican Health Care Festival.

  • Nick.Trite

    No wonder Heritage Action hates such lefty BS. We should see if the Heritage Foundation has a plan for health care reform and increasing numbers of insured… Oh wait…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      RIGHT???

  • bluicebank

    Not to mention that four GOP senators who are up for re-election don’t like the part that guts Medicare. Because their states participate in the expansion.

    So between the Not-Hateful-Enough gopers and the Too-Hateful-My-Job! gopers, the GOP won’t get anything done. Because health care is complicated! Drumph said so.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I can’t believe that the GOP governors who opted for Medicare expansion are going to sit by and let this pass.

  • Sounds to me that the True Conservatives ™ will not be satisfied with anything but dumping people with existing conditions, making sure the poors have to choose between iphones (or food and rent!) and healthcare, dumping people back into the ERs at the taxpayer expense and of course privatize every penny!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m thinking that Preznit Pussgrab may have been lying when he said that everyone would be covered and that it would be better than Obamacare.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Hard to believe, but that’s what people are saying.

      • You think?

      • DahBoner

        And cheaper. Well, no coverage is cheaper.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Phones or food or rent or healthcare. Pick one, maybe two if you’re lucky.

    • I watched the movie Repo Men (2010). I saw a horrible, callous dystopia and thought “surely it will never get there”. Republicans watch it and see it as a “How To” documentary.

      • DahBoner

        Repo Man is another movie also about the dystopian world of Reagan era

        • TheBoatDude

          Which, oddly, featured Jimmy Buffett…

  • Notreelyhelping

    Clearly, the GOP so cherishes the Founding Fathers that they can’t wait to get back to 1776 life expectancies.

  • Garbageman

    Don’t worry kids! Trumpcare’s on the way! And by the time we reach Phase 4 of the rollout . . .

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e501b5fdca33aca717af605d111d9f992e49c5df9c731cbe343e82f3cc36bf8b.jpg

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Didn’t the GOPtards who gave us the “plan” insist that it was “this or the status quo”?
    Because if you put it that way, I’ll gladly pick one.

  • freakishlypersistent

    JesusChrist, I fucking despise Republican America. CUBA has single payer, Goddamn.

    • DahBoner

      Many Third world countries do.

      • Jennaratrix

        That’s the problem. That’s exactly it, right there: we ain’t no COMMIES! We aren’t a third world nation! WE’RE BETTER THAN THEY ARE! Telling people who truly believe in American exceptionalism that Cuba and Sweden and France and Canada, et al., have single-payer makes it instantly bad. We’ve been using the wrong arguments all along; we’re trying to reason with people who don’t have critical thinking skills.

        • DahBoner

          You just summed up the challenge for any Democrat, anywhere.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • DahBoner

      What took Clueless Republican so long?

      Predicting Trump would be a craven disaster was not hard.
      https://media3.giphy.com/media/P54MeqS9xEElq/giphy.gif

    • HazooToo

      I can’t even deal with those two idiots right now. I’m trying not to be mean to Trumpgreters, I have NO fucking patience for assholes who are trying to fake surprise and outrage because public opinion is clear.

  • Rickyphoo

    Dr. Zoom, kudos on the “WeDon’tCare” name for the bill! I truly hope that catches on!

  • Relativicus

    If it gets to a vote in the senate, I don’t think they’ll lose more than two votes, but I’m a hater.

    New addition to my “List of Things That Make Me Stab Vote Puppies with Sharpened, Ceramic Votes” (better known by its acronym LTTMMSVPSCV):

    Any variation of Bloomberg’s headline “The Republican plan is even worse than Obamacare.”

  • Charlotteopaul

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl480c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !dl480c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs770WebUltimateGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl480c:….,…….

  • doggiedaddy

    They had 7 years to work on a plan and this is what they come up with?
    DOA
    Only the demented like it.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/394b5479503cbc62dbe8c36a7600d2d91d9900d3a49514ababb33cb01b3a03a1.png

  • Mike Steele

    Empower (v.): leave the powerless to their own nonexistent sevices

  • middleclassman1

    They are upset that it still helps a few people and they can’t have that!

  • mfp

    “They supported a strong repeal bill when they knew President Obama would never sign it, and now they won’t support the same language because President Trump might sign it,” [national director of campaigns] Noah Wall said.

    yeah, funny how that’s working out….wasnt that the whole fucking point all along?

  • Mike Steele

    Something to hope for… Since many of those who will be adversely effected by (R) plans are likely Faux News demographic, let’s see how Hannity, et.al. frame this issue and ‘splain how Cheeto has their interests at heart.

    • Joe Monte

      Cheetos never prosper!

      • Mike Steele

        IDK…some of our Trump-lovin’ neighbors are faring quite well, tyvm, and they can’t wait to see lesser fellow Trumpkins thrown under the bus.

    • let’s see how Hannity, et.al. frame this issue and ‘splain how Cheeto has their interests at heart.

      They’re gonna lie. They’re gonna lie like they’ve never lied before. They’re gonna lie their asses off.

      Like the Bush Administration, they’re going to add new definitions to the word mendacity.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    “And those, along with “great” and “beautiful,” are the only positive adjectives the man knows. SAD!”

    Lies! He also knows tremendous and fantastic. Fake news! Bad!

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I think Trumpcare should be the branding, I mean look at him- the only time he gets happier is if Ivanka accidentally slips a nip and he gets a free view. This needs to be tied to his fat, bulbous orange ass.

  • Foocatchoo

    He wears his tie that long to cover up the fact that his tiny penis has atrophied and now resides in a moist abscess in his abdomen. According to reports, Melania has seen it a few times; it supposedly resembles a garden slug which possesses an extremely foul smell not to mention a toxic slime.

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