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You have to give Ben Carson credit: He’s the only person in the Trump administration, other than Little Big Hands himself, who could possibly manage to give a speech in which referring to slaves as “immigrants” brought to a “land of dreams and opportunity” would turn out to be only his second-craziest idea. But before we get to the inexplicable cray-cray, let’s first go over the merely cray: In a Get-To-Know-You address to employees of the Department of Housing and Urban Development Monday, brand-new HUD secretary Carson let department employees know exactly how terrific America is for all immigrants, even the ones who had no choice in whether they left their homelands. After the usual Ellis Island stuff about plucky immigrants who sought a new life in a new land (which stopped being a good thing after about 1920), Carson explained,

“That’s what America is about. A land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less,” said Carson, speaking extemporaneously as he paced the room with a microphone. “But they, too, had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”

His comments were broadcast live to all of HUD’s regional field offices as well as to the public.

Nice to know there was a good audience for that inspirational vision of slaves’ American Dream. Carson didn’t mention some of the slaves’ more short-term dreams, like maybe hoping they wouldn’t be whipped, raped, sold away from their families (or have their families sold away), and the like. This is not because he closes his eyes to ugly realities; he’s just a really positive guy.

WaPo reports that a “senior HUD official” later explained that everyone in the audience understood exactly how Carson meant what he said:

“He was making a point about people who came to this country for a better life for their kids,” the official said. “Nobody in that room put two and two together and came to five. Only the most cynical interpretation would conflate voluntary immigration to this country with involuntary servitude.”

Hmm… That senior HUD official wouldn’t be “Ben Barron,” perhaps? Maybe not — according to several other attendees WaPo spoke to, the speech was generally well-received in the room, although reaction on social media was swift and mocking, with some people tweeting photos of rusty shackles and noting the immigrants had minimal carry-on luggage. And then there was Samuel L. Jackson, who made it clear he’s had enough of those motherfucking snakes in Carson’s motherfucking brain:

Carson, as usual, thought he’d done brilliantly and blamed The Media for making a big fuss over the remarks, explaining on Twitter that it’s entirely possible to be an “involuntary immigrant,” and that his larger point was that “Slaves didn’t just give up and die, our ancestors made something of themselves,” then later taking to Facebook to say he recognized that slaves and immigrants had “two entirely different experiences”:

“Slaves were ripped from their families and their homes and forced against their will after being sold into slavery by slave traders,” he wrote. “The Immigrants made the choice to come to America. They saw this country as a land of opportunity. In contrast, slaves were forced here against their will and lost all their opportunities. We continue to live with that legacy.”

OK, then! Maybe he needs to have lunch with Betsy DeVos so they can compare notes on segregation as a means of driving school choice. Everyone in the administration needs to try to be on the same page.

As we said, Carson’s remarks on slavery were only the second most WTF moment in the speech; while stupid and offensive, they at least could be spun as ham-handed praise of the American Dream like you might expect from any unthinking wingnut. But later in the speech, the secretary veered off into the kind of pure unscientific baloney that could only come from the broken brain of Ben Carson. Who is, we should add, a neurosurgeon who’s famous for separating conjoined twins connected at the head. But being a brain surgeon only means he knows how the brain is structured, not necessarily how it works, since he told his audience a bunch of inspirational but completely bogus bullpucky about what wonders the human brain is capable of, if only we’d access it! The brain, Carson claimed,

remembers everything you’ve ever seen. Everything you’ve ever heard. I could take the oldest person here, make a hole right here on the side of the head, and put some depth electrodes into their hippocampus and stimulate, and they would be able to recite back to you verbatim a book they read 60 years ago. It’s all there; it doesn’t go away. You just have to learn how to recall it. But that’s what your brain is capable of. It can process more than 2 million bits of information per second. You can’t overload it. Have you ever heard people say, “Don’t do all that, you’ll overload your brain.” You can’t overload the human brain. If you learned one new fact every second, it would take you more than 3 million years to challenge the capacity of your brain.

Err, no, not by a long shot, say actual neuroscientists, who know brains and memory a lot better than the famous surgeon:

“It’s utter nonsense,” emailed Dan Simons, a psychologist at the University of Illinois who specializes in attention and memory. “We can’t recall extended text verbatim unless we deliberately memorized it for that purpose (certainly not books we happened to read 60 years ago), you can’t trigger accurate recall of detailed memories with an electrode (and long-term memories aren’t stored in the hippocampus), we don’t store a perfect and permanent record of our experiences (it’s not all there just waiting to be probed), and you can’t just ‘learn how to recall it.’”

As Wired magazine points out, anyone who remembers their own imperfect memories already knows the brain isn’t a computer drive that stores data with precision: We get things wrong, get memories mixed up, and as most couples who’ve told the same stories again and again can attest, can even forget whether a thing happened to us or someone close to us. While neuroscientists have some hot debates over how exactly memory works, and to what degree the brain “records and replays” or hazily reconstructs memories, there’s broad agreement that you can’t just zap a 50-year-old memory of a book back into existence (if memories worked that way, eyewitness testimony at trials would involve a hell of a lot more electrodes).

Harvard Neuroscientist Steve Ramirez found Carson’s description ludicrous:

“To say that you could do that assumes that you know where you could actually find those memories, which we don’t know how to do,” Ramirez says. There are a lot of different kinds of memories—how to ride a bike versus your phone number versus where you were when you heard about 9/11—and while some of them hang out in a part of the brain called the hippocampus, the really permanent stuff seems not to rely on the hippocampus at all […]

In a few cases, neurosurgeons have managed to get a patient to recall a memory by zapping the hippocampus with an electrode, but they can’t control it the way Carson suggests—if the memory of page 47 of Hamlet is even in there. “We’re barely able to activate fear or pleasure in an animal, let alone one among the constellation of memories that humans actually have,” Ramirez says.

Apparently this is one of Carson’s favorite very wrong examples of what a wonderful mechanism the brain is; he’s made similar comments in other speeches and in his campaign book, One Nation.

It’s a thing he just knows, so don’t go questioning him on it. It’s every bit as true as his certainty that evolution is a lie invented by Satan, the pyramids were used for storing grain, and his decade-long paid endorsement of quack nutritional powders was not really a business relationship.

We’re a bit terrified of how he’ll bring his keen scientific insights to the field of housing policy. Perhaps he’ll cite the Bible’s promise that God will take care of everyone’s needs as a reason for eliminating wasteful housing subsidies for poor people. After all, his mom was on welfare but was never dependent on government.

[WaPo / Wired / Wapo]

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  • memzilla Ω
  • Chyron HR

    But, okay, but, like… has someone tried explaining to Gentle Ben his own party’s position on non-white immigrants coming to America to make better lives for themselves?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I could take the oldest person here, make a hole right here on the side of the head, and put some depth electrodes into their hippocampus and stimulate, and they would be able to recite back to you verbatim a book they read 60 years ago.

    Meanwhile, Ben Carson sounds like someone who spent a lot of their childhood sticking butter knives in electrical sockets.

    • Thaumaturgist

      You only stick a knife into a electrical socket once.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        The trick is to not use two hands. You don’t want to complete the circuit thru your heart.

        • Thaumaturgist

          I don’t believe I did use two hands. I got enough of a jolt with just one.

    • Lizzietish81

      He kept hitting the belt though

    • OneYieldRegular

      Christ, is that what happened to Reagan?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “He was making a point about people who came to this country for a better life for their kids,” the official said.

    People allowed themselves to be enslaved so their kids could have a better life, eh?

    https://fitandfeminist.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/tumblr_o441tdm8pm1tb8iyko1_500.gif?w=500

  • theCryptofishist

    Slight formatting issue. I don’t think that “His comments were broadcast live to all of HUD’s regional field offices as well as to the public,” is an actual Carson quote.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      It’s Sleepy Ben Carson. It might be.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Many years later, when Lincoln freed the immigrants, they became lazy freeloaders, though.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Trump is going to do away with the cotton gin, providing Black America with a pathway of getting their old jobs back on the plantation. Yipee!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        MASA!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Mmm, needs more references to Republicans freeing blacks from Democrats, because that’s just how they do.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        The Democrats filled the blacks with class envy and. . .

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Sen. Byrd was in the Klan.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Idiot savant: noun
    a person who is considered to be mentally handicapped but displays brilliance in a specific area.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Idiot Cabinet Secretary: noun
      a person who is considered to be mentally handicapped and no longer works at all in the one specific area where he once displayed brilliance.

  • Clyde Barrow

    Sure, Ben Carson, sure. And the slave rowers in ‘Ben Hur’ were actually glad to be there, as it increased their chances of making the emperor’s elite Olympic rowing team.

    Seems legit.

  • theCryptofishist

    Maybe if he read The Half has Never Been Told, we could electrode his brain so he would remember what a degrading, and all so often fatal, condition slavery was.

  • Lizzietish81

    Considering how much of his own past he made up during the campaign, is this really surprising?

    • clubseal

      Are you telling me he didn’t protect the Alamo from Muslim invaders with the help of Davey Crockett and George Washington? I dare you to falsify it with a Google search!

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Maybe he needs to have that procedure done on himself.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Well hello there, buddy!! Uh-oh.

    “Ex-spy behind Trump dossier reappears”

    http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/intelligence/322730-ex-spy-behind-trump-dossier-reappears

    • janecita

      But, where are the pee hookers?? That’s what I wanna know!

  • Crank Tango

    They’re just gonna trot this moron out every time they want/need a distraction.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The Trail of Tears was merely eco-tourism.

    • clubseal

      “And if you look to your left, you’ll see all the land you were promised to have in perpetuity, before we took that away too. In a couple hundred years, your ancestors will use the Constitution to get it back, but white people will be pissed.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    And here I thought that free Africans became slave-immigrants because they knew there would be a drought in the Americas and we didn’t have nearly enough pyramids to survive it. Dr. Carson knows that — he was told it was so by Moses, who was on denial, riding a hippocampus.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “I’m a surgeon. Nobody would believe me if I tried to play one on TV.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • therblig

      cannot wait for the Good Friday MAGA caps – yellow and purple with a crucified bunny maybe?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Oooh, when is the anniversary of Krystallnacht?

        Trumpanzees will probably snap up the red/black caps with the little swastika on the back!

  • Martini Ambassador

    Well fiddlesticks! I was going to try drill-a-hole-in-your-head-and-electrocute-out-the-memories trick on my husband who frequently forgets things I tell him. You’re telling me there’s absolutely, for certain, no way this works?

    • janecita

      Step away from the drill!

    • Nockular cavity

      Aw, c’mon, try it, what have you got to lose?

    • Jim Johnson

      Drill baby drill.
      Maybe your husband’s Hippocampus can be properly stimulated.

  • janecita

    I wouldn’t trust “Dr” Carson to prescribe me an aspirin, let alone operate on my brain. The man is a certified moron!

    • Martini Ambassador

      A moran, also too.

  • Zonath

    “And let us not forget the brave American Indians such as those of the Cherokee Organization, who immigrated back in 1839 with dreams in their hearts of the prosperity that their sons and daughters might find in their new homes.”

    Does anyone else get the sense that Carson is only secretary of HUD because it has “Urban” in the name?

  • clubseal

    The depth and breadth of Carson’s stupidity is staggering. How would you even know where the memory you were searching was? It’s not like there’s a color coded filing system in there.
    “Ah yes, here’s all the juicy stuff from when he dated Jessica Alba.” *zap*

  • OddMan

    Thanks for posting about this, Doc. I read this in Wired and was blown away. What the hell happen to Ben Carson’s brain? He was ‘Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Maryland from 1984 until his retirement in 2013″.

    Why did he retire? Medical reasons? How could a competent neurosurgeon make such stupid remarks?
    I really think there is something off in that man’s poor head, really off. The whole damn cabinet is full of fucking mental cases and the head toad is the craziest of them all. What have we let happen?

  • Bullshit. He knew precisely what he was saying with that slave shit. It is the new wingnut take on slavery. That slaves were merely the lowest rung of immigration and they worked hard for their eventual freedoms.
    Based upon how like 5 black dudes once were freed and one even had a business (until it was looted and burned by very mad white people)

  • Inner Venom

    Is there some rule in the official right winger handbook that says that they have to make up some new alternative fact to minimize the impact of slavery every year?

    • Lizzietish81

      “We freed them, even though it wasn’t actually that bad”

      • Inner Venom

        I think it was Louis C.K. who said something along the lines of, “white people like to add 100 years to slavery every year”.

      • And they wanted to come here, because they had no water or food, and sold their own children because it was a better life, and some of them even had children with their owners and later went on to become successful.
        Heard all of that shit at one time or another

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “We were greeted in Ghana as liberators.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          It was Arabs fault for selling them to us.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            They already had slavery in Africa anyways.

    • janecita

      Slavery? What is this slavery thing you speak of?

      • Crank Tango

        I think they mean Obamacare.

      • Persistent Demme

        It’s obscure, like that holocausty thing.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik
      • Inner Venom

        Oh, I remember that article. Seriously disturbing stuff to ask…

      • Lizzietish81

        If you think about the way Conservatives love America, to paraphrase the great Al Franken, like a small child loves their mother, the idea that it’s less than perfect is disturbing.

        And like small children they will reject anything that questions this belief.

      • This is a great article

    • Clyde Barrow

      In an echo chamber, lies are irrelevant.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      It’s more of a hobby, really.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Yes, it’s in Section 45.b.3.5, under the heading “Party of Lincoln.”

    • Michael Smith

      This makes me think of a great book called “Postwar,” by Tony Judt, who was writing in the early days of the EU. Historical minimizing was one of his chief concerns moving into the 21st century. He was uncomfortable with the way that Western Europe was spinning its history to exculpate everyone for all of the bad things that happened during WW2. “All the Nazis wound up in East Germany,” or “All of the British and French were always vehemently opposed to Nazism,” and that Nazism, where it did exist, was a momentary psychosis that was unnatural to Europe and wouldn’t be difficult to prevent in the future.

      He thought this boded poorly for the survival of institutions like the UN and the EU which had been formed as a response to the terrifyingly quick and deadly developments of the 1930’s – 1940’s. If people forget (or are taught to ignore) how easily nations can be swept up in violence and murderous behavior, where is the incentive for countries to participate in proactive peace programs?

      He said that for this reason, history, when done right, should be the art of disillusioning a nation with its past. That’s the only way its useful. This kind of history (you know, the useful kind) has always been furiously despised by wingnuts, who prefer that people forget the sins of the past. Is it because they are naive, or stupid? Or is it because they want to make sure they can profit from the mistakes being repeated?

      • Inner Venom

        He is a wise man then. Because France is right now on the verge of making someone supported by Nazis their next President. If TRUE remembrance of the past atrocities of your country does not motivate you to do good and make amends, then you missed the point. People need to stop whitewashing history. I am from Italy, and it seems many of the people there want to constantly brush away WW2 with the excuse that they were “not as bad” as the Germans.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        The Gingriches of this world know exactly what they’re doing and they do it quite deliberately. The rest just want to be told that it was someone else’s fault.

      • Paul

        Howard Zinn’s classic “A Peoples History of the United States” is a must read for these pinheads.

        • Michael Smith

          Of course we would have to Clockwork Orange them to get them to read it.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    I think of how productive the slaves were. All day long singing in the fields, not a care in the world. Never a worry, everything was taken care of. Oh how wonderful a life it must have been. Way better than an owner, that had to worry about budgets, harvests, and repair on the mansion. Oh those plantation owners had it bad.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The dreamy plantation life even took care of the numerous extra children they invariably had.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        And the ones sired by the owners were given extra-special places inside the house! Purest luxury!

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Right! They had the win of being ‘house immigrants’ that could take out their resentments on the ‘field immigrants’!

    • Jim Johnson

      And then along came welfare, and eventually Obamacare, and corrupted all of those freedom dreams. Now the main priority is cutting taxes on those unfortunate souls whose only crime is being wealthy. Trump: “Oh Lordy, let my people go…”

  • Crystalclear12

    Be grateful for small things, at least he isn’t the surgeon general.

    • Inner Venom

      He brings new meaning to the saying, “you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to..”

  • Biff52

    Slavery=incidental tourism!

    • gene108

      Obamacare = Slavery, therefore by the transitive property:

      Obamacare = tourism!!!

      Get Obamacare! And win a free vacation to a dream destination of your choice!!!

    • Me not sure

      Mandatory steerage class cruising.

  • gene108

    I hope Carson is not actively malicious to the department he overseas, unlike say Pruitt at EPA, Devos at Education and a few others in the Trump Administration.

    I mean, he probably has no knowledge of actual housing policy, but he may not be against people living in houses, as a general principle.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Let’s hope his nap continues unabated.

      • Crystalclear12

        Shhhh. . . don’t wake him.

    • Jim Johnson

      Maybe he’ll back pyramid construction. For storage of the poors.

  • Chadwells
  • Hutch

    Knowing HUD and its regional office personnel pretty well, if I were Ben Carson, I wouldn’t eat any pies if they’re offered after that comment.

  • Michael Smith

    Electro-shock therapy for welfare recipients!!

    • clubseal

      “Shock him right there and he’ll tell us about all the lobster he bought with food stamps!”

  • Back when I worked in healthcare, the hospital I was working for had a surgeon who was eased out the door into retirement, because he was showing the beginning signs of Alzheimers. It was a sad case, in that he was much-loved, a pioneering surgeon in the field of heart and lung transplants, and in his prime, one of the best surgeons in the country. In watching Carson over the past few years, I’m of the opinion that Johns Hopkins realized he was “losing it,” and pushed him out the door before it was obvious to the world – as it now is.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      “He’s no brain surgeon, but he could easily be a politician.”

  • goonemeritus

    That boat ride probably sounded nice after building all those pyramid shaped grain storage things.

    • Yr. Gma

      They used to have a boat ride in The Luxor.

  • Mavenmaven

    With this regime I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the components of “Trumpcare” mandates selling oneself or one’s children into slavery to pay for medical care (hey, it is sort of in the bible, right?)

    • Suttree

      Sell a kidney to pay the bill.

    • Jim Johnson

      Yep. Right next to the guidelines on how to properly beat your slaves.

  • Okay, I kind of get that he was trying to maybe say that even slaves who were forcibly brought here had a vision of a better life for their children, but that was probably one of the worst ways to actually convey that thought.

    Also, I’m pretty sure his selection for the job involved something like this:

    “Housing and Urban Development? Urban is black, right? Okay, who do I know who’s black. I mean aside from the people who sued me for housing discrimination. Sleepy Ben Carson. Melania! Get Sleepy Ben Carson on the phone. I want him to run that black thing.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      why would their children’s life be better? They would be born into the same slavery…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    God help anyone he actually worked on….

  • Fartknocker

    Ben, I would like some HUD construction dollars for the combination grain elevator with safe, affordable housing for the poor. The dust, while it may explode, is great for the skin, which will save the Feds many dollars for skin cancer treatment under the new Trump Don’t Care plan. The triangular shape is also very tornado resistant. I designed it after talking to my dead dad Archer Daniel Midland after constructing an 9 Meter Yagi antenna and running the signal through my Obama Phone using aluminum foil and copper wire wrapped around cat hair as an insulator. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/46e9427d486a7de121bc479ff26c3995d9f6510aeb692be42d2839b2c9389269.jpg

    • Yr. Gma

      The Luxor!

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        My first trip to Las Vegas, the Luxor was my first stop – casinos are great for people-watching, plus I wanted to see the miniature Sphinxes. But they were doing a bit of maintenance on the main floor and a few of the decorative panels were off. And behind them were badly-cast concrete support pillars, haphazardly-laid cable and wire, globs of pour-in-place insulation foam and a LOT of non-code unlabeled piping. The place looked like it wasn’t intended to last more than five or ten years before it started falling apart and would need to be replaced.
        At that moment I understood a LOT about Las Vegas.

  • Crank Tango
    • calliecallie

      I just forwarded that photo to my son. Perfect.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • ServantToTheStars

    So, Kunta became Toby the way my manicurist became Susie?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Oneofthebobs

    Whenever Ben tries to remember something, he just puts another hole in his head.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Liberal Fascist Ron

    A neurosurgeon who doesn’t know how the brain works.
    I’m letting this sink in slowly.
    A neurosurgeon who doesn’t know how the brain works.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I’m pretty sure that the only thing those slaves dreamed of was surviving the trip over without dying in the darkness in the hold. Why would any of them think for even a second that their children might have a better life? They couldn’t even breed except under the direction of their master and their children were born into the very same slavery that they existed under. How on earth could their children’s lives be any better?

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah not even. A lot tried to kill themselves on the way and they even had abortions to keep from bringing kids into that mess.

      For some reason, I did a lot of reading about slavery this Christmas…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        There is exactly ZERO reason to believe that slaves had any hope that their children would face anything other than the same lifelong misery they faced.

        • Tallmutha

          Then there are the ones who could only pray their kids were still alive somewhere else they were sold off to.

          • DahBoner

            Good point. They were forced to convert to another religion of their enslavers.

    • Roadstergal

      The children they had when they were raped by their owners? Were those the children they were dreaming of a better life for?

  • Inner Venom

    So last week we had Betsy DeVos saying it was the choice of HBCU founders to create those schools.
    This week we have Ben Carson saying African-Americans who were enslaved were “immigrants”.
    Who will be next to say something clueless about history?

    • Roni Resistance Raven

      AOT,K?

    • Roadstergal

      When is any of them going to say something accurate about history?

      • Inner Venom

        Well, check outside your window. Do you see any flying pigs?

        • Roadstergal

          Nope, Trump’s not flying into SFO anytime soon.

        • Undocumented Skwerl!

          Why yes I do…. That’s what happens when you are next to the Swine Genetics Department.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            I hope you keep your car garaged.

    • therblig

      “European Jews were world leaders in working with government to attack the problems of overpopulation” – Steve Bannon

    • efoveks

      What do they have to lose? XD

  • Sardonicuss

    Ben Carson, Clarence Thomas and Samuel L Jackson walk into a bar:

    Bartenders says:

    Sir, if you continue to beat those other gentleman with that bat…I am going to have to ask you to leave.

    • Roadstergal

      Roadstergal tells bartender to be a team player and buys a few rounds for SLJ.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Bartender laughs and laughs with Roadstergal “As though I was serious!” and hands her another bat

  • MynameisBlarney

    BAMYOW!!!

    Time to fire up the INPEECHINATOR!!!!

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141722639

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911

    But what will Ben have to do to beat today’s headline in the Daily News?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e472b8f43c09197610291b4835f203abe51af9c782192db4f26d16b2d15b2b3a.jpg

    • DahBoner

      As was the style at the time.

  • Jim Johnson

    Ben Carson’s, “I have a dream…” speech?

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Well, he DID just wake up.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap

    Carson didn’t mention some of the slaves’ more short-term dreams

    Like not getting raped by the massa’s kids or maybe beaten to death. Or pitchforked into boiling salt water, like Mandingo.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandingo_(film)

  • sercanet

    I wish I could remember who predicted that at some point it would come out that Ben Carson was suffering from some serious neurological condition. And that it would be one that would make us feel ashamed for having made fun of him.

    • therblig

      just insert a 9 volt battery into your hippocampus and that memory will come flooding back.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        And “hippo campus” is how people refer to the gym when I’m there

    • efoveks

      There is no disease so awful with which he can be later diagnosed, that will make me regret anything terrible I’ve said.

  • William

    Ben hadn’t said anything stupid in a while so it was “hold my beer”, that’s all https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/799436fd01d4286c58d218e7011fe67642b2dd7a88beb591891071efe6638614.jpg

  • Panika MCD

    OT – Update on TX SB6 (aka the Bathroom Bill) hearing (since they’re on the floor for the moment):

    all of this has to do somehow with Sen. Kolkhorst not being able to play golf no more (because: trans people peeing) and she doesn’t want a patchwork of municipal laws (though a patchwork of state laws is good) and she can’t even tell whether or not she’s supposed to be texting while driving already.

    apparently people put hidden cameras in potties only when there are other people there to catch them and they can’t catch them because: trans people peeing.

    Dan Patrick and Co. have officially declared war on the Texas Association of Business.

    “the people* always get it right.” ~ Sen. Kolkhorst
    *does not include trans people

    Sen. Bettencourt also too wants to tell the media what they should and should not be printing. because: Tsarina Short Fingers is his hero.

    Sen. Campbell: gender is not a protected class, therefore there can’t be discrimination. I’m sure this argument worked when ethnicity was not a protected class.

    bill needs to be passed because kids can’t turn down grape soda.

    little girl says that boys are weird and she doesn’t want to pee next to weird. her dad is proud that she cares more about her looks than the content of her testimony. *facepalm*

    lady from Palatine, IL (yes, this is a hearing about TX bathrooms): someone from Chicago spoke to my school board which should not happen ever because they don’t live in Palatine!

    NC Lt. Gov. Forest brought plenty of alternative facts.

    “You can’t buy privacy which is why we buy locks for the bathroom doors in our homes.” ~ Sen. Campbell.

    Sen. Nelson remembers when women burned their bras and if SB6 doesn’t pass, all those bras will be unburned.

    Tony Perkins (yes, that one) decided that we need “guardrails” to keep trans people out of the bathrooms or men will be rubbing their dicks on Sonic windows all over the country AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!

    Sen. Campbell said they don’t have to have an assault by a trans person on the books to prevent one. if only they had applied this to the foster system where about 100 kids die every year!

    Pastor Flowers: your genitals are biological, your brain is not biological. also too: kids need to be protected from anything that confuses them–like Calculus.

    who says you can’t be a bigoted lesbian? they found one who thinks that the “trans Mafia” is trying to take away her right to lesbosex. also too: trans people peeing, according to her, would take away our right to free association.

    Pastor Winn (trans man) says that he shouldn’t have to pee next to the little girl who thinks boys are weird just because he’s having difficulty getting the gender changed on his birth certificate and all those people using “because JESUS” as their excuse for supporting the bill need to get to know that Jesus guy a little better.

    little trans girl: you just tinkle and get out. I don’t understand what the big deal is.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Except for the last comment, sounds like they could all use some antipsychotic meds.

      • Panika MCD

        Pastor Winn was cool.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Are ALL hearings in Texas like this? Might be fun to attend just for the amusement value.

      • Panika MCD

        not all of them. but most do have a few comic moments. it’s not every day you get THE Tony Perkins, though.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          For which we should all be thankful.

          • Panika MCD

            too much ice cream will make you sick.

    • NastyBossetti

      I can’t speak for anyone else, but my brain is definitely biological.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Repubs, trying to cram their bullshit healtchare bill through complain that ACA was passed too quickly…

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028760531

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/719/514/e31.gif

  • William
    • DahBoner

      “Hold the vermouth, Ben”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    But being a brain surgeon only means he knows how the brain is structured, not necessarily how it works

    “Structured? I pretty much just followed the line drawn by the radiologist that said ‘cut here'”
    — Sharp as a scalpel Ben Carson

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I must remember to email Carson to find out just how many volts will kill me and how many will turn me into a pussyhound. I think it matters.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “Everyone in the administration needs to try to be on the same page.”

    Would that be a page from The Camp of the Saints? I’m sure there’s a copy in Steve Bannon’s office.

    • mancityRed6

      but he wears them out so quickly that he buys by the case
      plus, the pages all get stuck together.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Wait! He was a brain surgeon once, right?

    FFS.

    Speaking of medical fucks who make no sense…

    https://twitter.com/christinawilkie/status/839184335458676737

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘The President says dumb shit like this all the time. I don’t see why the rest of us can’t too.’

    • calliecallie

      Farther up this comment thread, someone asked who would be the next cabinet pick to say something totally bone-headed. And here it is!

  • Crank Tango
  • Roadstergal

    Betsy DeVoss told him Beloved was about a black woman dreaming of happiness and prosperity for her daughter.

  • Jim Johnson

    There goes, Ben Carson, the pioneering black neurosurgeon again, smashing stereotypes wherever he goes to speak.
    Many of us used to assume that all brain surgeons must be pretty smart — stereotype smashed.

    • Roadstergal

      Brain surgeons are smart, black guys are cool… what a stereotype-smasher!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        People are awake when addressing crowds…

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Persistent Demme

    Silly libtards!
    Don’t let actual science and facts influence you!
    (So glad he’s retired from doctoring.)

  • efoveks

    Immigrants are afforded the dignity of personhood. The unfortunates referred to by Dr. “Strangelove” Carson were not even seen as human, but rather as goods to be sold for profit.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      The dignity of choice!

      • efoveks

        YIKES!

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        All that fresh air and exercise was GOOD for them!

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Which is why their descendants are so good at sports! (Yes, I actually heard someone say this, once. Yes, he was old and white.)

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            Oh God.

    • brucej

      Livestock, to be precise.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    For you brainiacs who’d like to know how the brain processes music, check out This Is Your Brain On Music. Good read.

  • Crank Tango

    Ah I see the problem, turns out Ben was a Rocket Surgeon.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      No, he was a brain STURGEON

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Now we now how Ben remembers so much about Egyptian pyramids.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      This is why you don’t let the wires touch.

      • snark-lurker

        too late

  • Bill Slider

    As then VP Dan Quyale apparently once said, a brain is a terrible thing to have.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The thing is, brain surgeons have occasionally, with the cooperation of patients. (*) used electrode stimulus to identify important areas of the brain not to cut.

    So one can imagine Ben Carson saying, “Well, all those memories are pretty vague, I’m sure the details are elsewhere, let’s hack out this whole area, it’s in the way.”

    (*) brain tissue doesn’t feel pain, so patients can be awake for some types of brain surgery. Weird right?

  • MynameisBlarney

    You can go with this…

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028760375

    Or you can go with that…

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141722639

    I think the end result will be the same…

    • TJ Barke

      Lies on top of fucking lies.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    If we zap Ben Carson’s brain, will he wake up (literally and figuratively) and realize he’s a tool, the people he props up are using him as their token black friend, and will throw him under the bus faster than he can say, “I’m an idiot?”

    • Suttree

      Does anyone think that he walks out of meetings with other republicans without an under the breath mutter of “fucking n****r”?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Either that or ‘He’s a nice n****r.’

      • You mean the old racist joke of “what do you call a black millionaire brain surgeon?”

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        If they don’t say it, they’re thinking it.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      He looks to me like deep down he knows this, it surfaces after a big gaffe, and then he simply can’t admit to himself that he’s been a chump and represses the thought way back down again.

      He is a classic ego-driven mark. Moist Von Lipwig could have had him on the line, like, forever.

    • mailman27

      He’s got plenty of moneeey
      And money’s plenty for him!

  • The gigantic SECRETARY CARSON! Power Point image behind him is like school in blizzard: NO CLASS.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1ce14224ad7e962d512e2b3185c7c691eefb4135d259f9c933fd57dd3f6eaa50.gif

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    It’s gonna take one hell of an electrode in my hippocampus to get me to remember any scientists at the many seminars on eyewitness testimony i’ve attended explaining human memory the way Ben explains it.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think you’re supposed to soak the electrode in LSD and ketamine first, per Ben’s recipe.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Is a Hippo Campus some sort of zoo facility? Does HUD do that sort of thing?

  • Wild Cat

    I guess the poor African Americans who were lynched really thought they were on a carnival ride, eh, Mister Carson?

    Fuck you with a fistful of scalpels.

    • As American as Strange Fruit Pie.

      • Wild Cat

        He probably thinks Billie Holiday was actually singing a song by Joyce Kilmer.

        • I think that I’ll not see
          No, not nowhere
          A snark as beautiful
          As what you just did there

        • Tallmutha

          One of his favorite songs is Randy Newman’s “Sail Away,” because he doesn’t realize it’s ironic.

          • Wild Cat

            As long as we don’t destroy the delusion he holds that he’s Johnny Carson’s younger brother, I think he’ll be OK.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    The republicans are relentless at rolling back the welfare state, relentless in their attacks on the poor, the non-white, and especially the poor non-white.

    To justify this they build a completely false alternative history in which slavery was not so bad and welfare is the same thing but worse.

    Put like that it’s so utterly absurd, so completely mind-bogglingly stupid, that no sane person could possibly either put forward this theory or be receptive to it. Impossible.

    And yet millions of Americans do unthinkingly believe this. And Ben Carson is one of them. And Ben Carson’s problem, apart from being a credulous dumbass, is that he’s a public figure with a spectacularly vivid and fertile imagination, and a penchant for off-the-cuff speculation.

    He merely extrapolates the theory that’s been programmed into him without thinking through the logical consequences, only to have a brief flash of lucidity later and realize how incredibly stupid and racist the theory is.

    Then there’s a quick back-pedal, but before the disturbing possibility that he’s backed the wrong horse all along takes permanent lodging, he forgets it and does the same thing again the next day.

    It’s something to witness, and quite baffling until you understand where he’s coming from.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      ^^^^^THIS^^^^^

    • TJ Barke

      *Applause*

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Naw, he’s not that dumb, he’s in on the grift. He’s just playing his part, the role of Uncle Tom Ben

    • OneYieldRegular

      “…before the disturbing possibility that he’s backed the wrong horse all along takes permanent lodging, he forgets it and does the same thing again the next day.”

      Maybe if they drilled a hole into the side of his head and applied electrical stimulation to his hippocampus, he could remember?

      • Charlotteopaul

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl481c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !dl481c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs771ShopUltimateGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl481c:….,…..

    • mailman27

      And when you do understand where he’s coming from, it’s so fucking discouraging.

  • MynameisBlarney

    4 binders y’all…

    4 binders of classified intel on the turmp/roosha connections…

    No fucking wonder he’s going balls out on the “Baffle ’em with Bullshit” campaign…

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028760552

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      After more than 2 decades of dealing with Russian oligarchs, former KGB/FSB officers, and Russian mob figures, I am surprised it fits into only 4 binders.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Four-point type, single-spaced.

        • Rags

          Microfilm, since it’s spy stuff

        • h4rr4r

          Double sided.

      • That’s just the executive summaries.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Mebbe the binders are friggin bigly yuuuuuuge.

      • snark-lurker

        AOT,K down-thread

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Grandpa, tell us stories about the old days. What was it like to sleep through the night? To not wake up at 3 am in a cold sweat from President-induced night terrors?”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Binders full of pee hookers.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Just to put your typical Republican primary voter in context, remember that Ben Carson was left standing a lot longer than 14 or 15 others in the field.

    • clubseal

      I don’t know if it helps or not, but I’m pretty sure he hung on mostly on the power of claiming to have a relationship with Our L&S, JC.

    • DahBoner

      “He must be smart because he’s so po-lite”

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Also, too, he maintained stamina by taking a time-out for his book tour in the middle of the campaign. Most of the other candidates weren’t that smart.

  • Ricky Gay

    Gah

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Carson, as usual, thought he’d done
    brilliantly and blamed The Media for making a big fuss over the remarks,
    explaining on Twitter that it’s entirely possible to be an “involuntary
    immigrant,””

    Yes, yes it is! If Carson’s point is that involuntary immigrants have grand dreams and the potential in America to achieve them, maybe he should tell his boss to retain DACA. Fucker!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “That’s different!11!!11!!”

  • Notreelyhelping

    “I could drill a hole in your head and insert an electrode in your brain! It’s perfectly safe! I do it to myself every night!”

    • snark-lurker

      wut size hole?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        “I recommend ‘small.'”

        • snark-lurker

          how small is “small”?

          • wide_stance_hubby

            That’s a gotcha question. SECURITY!!!

      • h4rr4r

        I bet Dr. Carson uses spade bits.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Itty-bitty wire-sized. Speaking all scientifically.

        • snark-lurker

          i haz itty-bitty wire-sized drill bits! now do I drill just any ol’ place?

          • Notreelyhelping

            I’d try to find a wet spot. Them Hippocampuses like rivers and ponds.

  • Creepoman

    Physician, fuck thyself.
    (shameless stolen from someone else long ago, in thread far, far, away)

  • Me not sure

    Everything Carson knows about slave ships he learned from playing “Slave Ship Tetris”.
    Perhaps the worst game ever made. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/52ff7a1b8b6056153113ac955447dc5a48172ffe7efbfe52428b0a4095f802aa.jpg

    • clubseal

      Why is there a mouse in a captain’s hat? I mean, I know that racists are terrible at making their stupid, racist video games, but I’m perplexed by that detail.

      • Me not sure

        Ummmm?…

      • mailman27

        Is this an actual game? (Not a gamer)

        • clubseal

          It looks like it. There is a game where you can play as the Columbine shooters, so this doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “We’re a bit terrified of how he’ll bring his keen scientific insights to the field of housing policy.”

    Pyramid-shaped projects? They’re not just for grain anymore folks!

  • Persistent Demme

    “…worked even longer, even harder for less,”
    Less?!
    Less?!
    Go on, explain it to me, Ben.
    What does “less” even mean?

    • h4rr4r

      Less, like 0 is less than some.

    • NastyBossetti

      Like ALL THE WAY less.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The most less.

  • Tallmutha

    America is the land of dreams, alright. Unless you were brought here as a slave, in which case your fondest dream was probably escaping to Canada.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well, that’s a dream, isn’t it?

  • Suttree

    Did Sean Spicer just fucking say that they put the healthcare bill out there for everyone to look at!? I really need to stop watching news.

  • Lizzietish81
  • Asterix
    • Yr. Gma

      Thanks. I needed that.

    • mailman27

      Note to babies: It is actually pretty funny!

  • canes_pugnaces

    It’s as if Trumpannon decided he would find the worst people in America, people who have been living under rocks for years, and then give them as much oxygen as they need to destroy the earth.

    • Miles Monroe

      The word you’re looking for is “kakistocracy” …

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Let’s not call it slavery–how about “long-term agricultural interns?”

    • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

      “They got a lot of valuable work experience! How nice of the plantation owners to train them.”

      -Republicans, probably

      • President in Exile Firefly

        And free housing and meals!

        • DahBoner

          They’re all rap zillionaires. Success!

      • The Wanderer

        The Uplift Fallacy – the idea that ripping Africans away from their families, deracinating them, abusing and working them to death, was somehow improving them.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      And winter work paid in exposure dollars!

      • mailman27

        ISWYDT

  • TJ Barke

    Incredibly intellectually dishonest, or just really dumb?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Yes.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Dammit! Didn’t even read 2 posts down…

    • h4rr4r

      Why or?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Yes.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        LOL.

    • proudgrampa

      Yes.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Whoohoo!! Now I don’t feel so bad!

  • Oh, yeah…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/37dcd035920250f2ede54c97059624dc2f5440a910f1647b02799db5dfd7c09c.jpg

    “Fuckest thou, O blood-letter Ben of Carson!”
    – Mary and Eliza Chulkhurst, The Biddenden Maids

  • Rags

    Those of us who remember that our ‘founding fathers’ were committed to the Enlightenment and believed that evidence and reason should guide our actions should be terrified that this centuries old idea that has done more to advance the human condition than any other is in imminent danger.

    • Wild Cat

      After they committed themselves to the Enlightenment, they went to their barns after their wives were asleep and raped the slaves.

      • h4rr4r

        If you expect perfection from humans you are never going to be happy.

        If you are less bad than most of the people at your time, that is still something.

        • Wild Cat

          If you expect perfection from Wonkette’s Nasty Little Snark Mob, you are never going to be happy.

          If you are less bad than most of the people at your time, like only throwing 387 Jews into an oven instead of 678, that is still something.

          ;-)

          • h4rr4r

            Actually, yeah it is.
            For most of human history life has had far less value.

          • Wild Cat

            True that. Sadly true.

      • Vecchioivan

        Please, it was the immigrants they raped.

        • h4rr4r

          Involuntary migrants.

          • Vecchioivan

            Accidental tourists?

          • Wild Cat

            They were on a lifetime-long gap year journey . . .

  • Vecchioivan

    In my Father’s house are many mansions: maybe you could live in one of those.

    • h4rr4r

      No, those are for grains.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Ben’s boat has gone off the rails.

    • Vecchioivan

      He’s a couple fish short of a full deck.

      • brucej

        Definitely dumber than a sack of hammer-sacks.

    • proudgrampa

      Not the brightest acorn in the candelabra…

    • Nockular cavity

      His pyramid’s not exactly full of grain.
      …wait, that actually made sense, because of Ben Carson. Let me try again…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Not the sharpest bulb in the barn.

  • DahBoner

    Fact: That way cool cat Dr. Ben Carson already tried the hole-in-brain experiment on THE SMARTEST PERSON HE KNOWS…
    https://media.giphy.com/media/EbGzxNByyIcve/giphy.gif

  • TundraGrifter

    “They saw this country as a land of opportunity.”

    Who would pass up the “opportunity” to pick cotton, hoe tobacco and cut sugar cane in the hot Southern sun six days a week, be whipped if one wasn’t quick enough, be ill-housed, ill-fed, ill-clothed, raped, and have one’s children sold?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • whitroth

    So, Sec. Doc (not to be confused with Papa Doc), if someone were to kidnap you, and take you to another country, and work you to death, but while doing it, they occasionally took the opportunity to rape you (I know, I know, revolting thought), you’d be an immigrant to that country?

    Btw, folks, the new Sec. of HHS is also sending out Weekly News emails about All the Wonderful Crap he’s doing….

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Like the unwanted family newsletters we would get each Christmas from our wealthier cousin whose sons were literally God and Jesus? My Mom and I used to cackle at those for hours.

  • Vecchioivan
  • norcalOG

    Amaru crouched in the tall grass, fanning the flames of the growing fire he’d just struck. With any luck, the slave catchers would soon find him and whisk him away to a land of wealth and riches beyond his wildest dreams…

  • proudgrampa

    You’ve heard of Fake News and Alternative Facts?

    Ben Carson practices Fake History and Alternative Medicine…

    What A Idiot.

  • Edith Prickly
  • The Wanderer

    Maybe he’ll take the opportunity to shill for bogus nutritional powders and scam reverse mortgages on the HUD website. That grift isn’t going to make itself, yanno.

    • Wild Cat

      Maybe he’ll move everybody in HUD housing into Beverly Hills and everyone in Beverly Hills into HUD housing?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I can’t process this at all. My own brain broke on November 8 and they’ve just been stomping the scattered pieces to shards every since.

    • mailman27

      Powdered by now.

  • Nockular cavity

    Are we sure this is the real Dr. Ben Carson, World-Renowned Brain Surgeon? Maybe some dude replaced him.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “He was making a point about people who came to this country for a better life for their kids,” the official said.

    I wondered why they came here. Now we know.

  • Lucas Foxx

    “a neurosurgeon who’s famous for separating conjoined twins connected at the head (that did not result in a happy ending for anyone but Ben Carson).” Everyone leaves that part out. https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/the-story-of-the-surgery-that-made-ben-carson-famous–and-its-complicated-aftermath/2015/11/13/15b5f900-88c1-11e5-be39-0034bb576eee_story.html

    • h4rr4r

      To be fair it was the first such surgery. Their suffering was the salvation of patients that came later.

  • goonemeritus

    I think Trump’s question to black voters – “what do you have to lose” is being answered.

    • Trump’s question to voters: ‘Where’s my black? Oh there you are Ben Carson.”

  • Markuserektus
  • #dickheadedtom

    Man I love that!!1!!!!111!!!!!1!!!!

  • anon_the_great

    Hum. Seems like the good Doc is getting his info from Deepak and Natural News. Better than Steve Bannon I guess.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Oh, sweet Baby Jesus…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A cousin of mine has a family tree of my father’s side that can trace back to France in the 1700’s. The best my wife can do is guess either Ghana or Nigeria. Go fuck yourself, GOP.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Slaves are immigrants in much the same way that drilling a hole in someone’s head and popping in an electrode is a mnemonic device.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    And another thing, Ben. When you were born in 1951, there were still a lot of people alive that were real, live, actual slaves.

    • snark-lurker

      but HE never saw one

    • ariel_gee_398

      Probably some in his own family, since they were originally from Georgia. (Also, per Wikipedia, his father was 28 and his mother was 13 when they married. Yikes.)

      • Shanzgood

        Yeah, my great-grandma was married at 14. That’s not even full-grown. Jesus.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Wow. So was mine. But then, she was also doing snuff at 10.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, yeah. My grandpa started smoking unfiltered Lucky Strikes at about that age.

          • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

            Haha!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      When you read that, it puts the time frame in perspective. It was not that long ago, though it seems that way because technology has advanced so much. We are not that far removed from owning human beings for profit and meanness.

    • Miles Monroe

      … and there still are in 2017, in this country, in the corporate prison system.

      • whitroth

        And then there’s wage slavery. It’s so much *cheaper* than traditional slavery, since you don’t have to clothe, feed, or house them, and you don’t lose anything of value by telling them (wait for it) “you’re fired!”

        • Shanzgood

          Also “if you don’t like it, get a different job/better yourself/you should have made better life choices” etc.

          YOUR WAGE SLAVERY IS ENTIRELY TOUR FAULT.

  • Shibusa
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Just more “alternative facts”. This administration LOVES the alternative facts!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Ryan Denniston

    OT: either the National Parks Service should be placed on suicide watch, or this is a sign that it’s Lord Dampnut’s blood in the water.

    http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/3/7/14843204/new-photos-park-service-obama-inauguration-bigger-trump

    • doktorzoom

      Worse: the photos were released because Trump DEMANDED the Park Service give him all the pix so he could prove his crowds were bigger. He just KNEW his crowds were bigger.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    From the republican gaffe playbook:
    Jesus forgave me
    I was misquoted
    The other side are politicizing it
    The other side are engaging in identity politics
    It’s fake news and never happened
    Benghazi
    Radical Islamic Terror
    Politically Correct
    Obama wire tapped me
    Democrats started the KKK

    ….I think we’re going for “misquoted”.

    • snark-lurker

      you left out E-MAILS! how could you?

      • Shanzgood

        That’s a given any more.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Having a hole drilled in your head may be less painful than listening to this guy.

  • Jgb979

    Was this man ever a brain surgeon?

    I feel like they might have been so happy to have a black guy join their team they forgot to check if he wasn’t just a lunatic off the street.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Carson has said that Obamacare and the national debt are like slavery. Now he says that slavery was a form of “immigration.”

    I’m starting to think that he’s unclear on this whole slavery thing.

    • Shanzgood

      He also made a slavery/abortion correlation as well. Women who have abortions are like slave owners, apparently.

      https://www.google.com/amp/s/thinkprogress.org/amp/p/4af4dfa6e046

      • Gee, my mom always told me that mothers were like slaves (or that I treated her like a slave). She had quite a flair for making me feel guilty.

        • MeerkatsRMammals

          By any chance, were you a difficult delivery? My mother NEVER lets me forget that I caused her 3 days worth of labor. Apparently, I’ve been a pain in her hoo-hah since the very beginning :( Just wondering if you have to hear about that too…

          • No, I never got that one. It was always about how I was making her life hard at that current moment.

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve always been both glad and mad I couldn’t use that one. Mine were both pretty much like shelling peas. 4hr labor with #1 and 1hr with #2 and no drugs that actually did anything useful.

            They’ve made up for the lack of birth-difficulty, though.

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            Congrats to you on the easy deliveries :) My first son was SO difficult. I was also in labor for 3 days, in the delivery room 12+ hrs before he finally had to be removed with tongs (in lieu of emergency C-Section). He was also over 9 lbs! My 2nd was no picnic either, but at least he was induced so I didn’t have a similar experience the 2nd time around. Because of the fact that I was raised with the guilt noted above, I would NEVER in a billion years make it a big deal with my son. It’s not HIS fault (just like it wasn’t MY fault). I’d never want him to feel as small as she’s made me feel over the years.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, I don’t tell my stories often because they were too easy, even though mine were both exactly 8lbs 12oz. But even if they were horror stories, I wouldn’t beat my kids up with it. They’ve done enough dumb stuff ON PURPOSE since then.

        • Shanzgood

          Yikes!

  • bookish

    This is a one-time fee: The “surcharge” is the same whether you’re uninsured for 64 days or 64 years. It’s like once you’ve decided to park illegally and know you’re going to get a ticket, you might as well stay a while.

    Avoiding the word “penalty” doesn’t make this not a penalty. And when there is a penalty for people without insurance, a person could reasonably say that insurance is “mandatory.” For individuals.

    Semantics aside, this new approach to a mandate poses serious challenges to the viability of the law. Attempting to get rid of the much-maligned mandate—while keeping the much-loved provision where insurance companies cannot discriminate based on “preexisting conditions”—has created an untenable tension.

    When people without insurance are penalized for buying—instead of being penalized for not buying, as is currently the case—that creates a perverse incentive. Once you’re off the wagon, there’s no financial incentive to get back on until you have to.

    And instead of that penalty going to the government, now it would go to private insurance corporations, and it could be more than $695. As Senator Rand Paul put it bluntly on twitter this morning, “[The AHCA] keeps individual mandate but makes you pay the insurance companies instead of the government.”

    This transfer of power and wealth from elected officials to insurance companies pervades the new bill. Seth Chandler, a professor at the University of Houston Law Center, notes that the continuous-care incentive actually “forces insurers to charge extra even to people who are, in fact, perfectly healthy, and even if the insurer does not see a need to do so.”

    If human behavior under the Affordable Care Act and the rest of history is any indication, many people will wait to purchase insurance because they “aren’t sick.” They are young and invincible, the exception to the rule. Taking a chance and remaining uninsured has always been potentially dangerous, but the AHCA could make it more appealing to do so. Having such people remain outside the insurance pool would raise costs for everyone else. When people remain outside the health-care system until they are older and sicker, the practice of medicine changes from preventive to reactive. It becomes more difficult for doctors to keep people healthy and raises costs across the board.

    Of course, the other alternative is that the new penalty (“surcharge”) is significant enough to make people “choose” to always buy health insurance. In which case, it’s a mandate for individuals.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    B,b.but Obama let all the 122 terrorists that we know about excaped from Gitmo, and they killed all those people in the Bowling Green Massacre and in Sweden and were running a sex ring out of a pizza parlor in DC while they helped Obama tapp Trump’s wires in the Tower of Trump while he wasn’t talking to all those Russians he was talking to.

    They also voted 3 million times in California and New York!

  • Treg Brown
  • maxneanderthal

    Ah, I understand now, my mother in law didn’t escape from the SS at all, she was just imaginemigrating because the nice men in brown shirts had told her that hard work makes you free…..

  • norcalOG

    These new immigrants were also excited about shedding their African names and receiving new American ones–Sonny, Carmine, and Vladimir were especially prized–that would ease their transitions to this gilded new world.

  • bookish

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/03/betsy-devos-donald-trump-florida-school-choice-vouchers?google_editors_picks=true

    Then there is the issue of state oversight and transparency. Many states, including Florida, have little to no jurisdiction over private schools and don’t make student achievement data public, save for attendance. A 2011 award-winning investigation by Gus Garcia-Roberts of the Miami New Times described the resulting system as a “cottage industry of fraud and chaos.” Schools could qualify to educate voucher and tax credit scholarship students even though they had no accreditation or curriculum. Some staffers in these schools were convicted criminals for drug dealing, kidnapping, and burglary. “In one school’s ‘business management’ class, students shook cans for coins on the streets,” Garcia-Roberts found.

    • MynameisBlarney

      They just love this country soooo much, they’re willing to disregard its Constitution and every thing it stands for.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        They’re gonna start cherry-picking their favorite bits of the Constitution the same way they only pick bits of the Bible that fit their needs :( 2nd Amendment will of course be preserved…13th? 19th? Who needs those silly ones?

        • redarmyzombie

          Gonna start? I think we’re well past that point…

    • kareemachan

      So… Voldemort is up to his bald head in it?

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Is our children grifting?

  • mardam422

    Honest to Dog. How the hell that guy could EVER have been considered a viable candidate for President of the United…oh, never mind.

  • I think the only way I could support an immigration ban is if slavery was in fact a form of immigration.

  • snark-lurker

    OT heads up ladies: FYI if you gonna eat a banana in front of a guy, he gonna look. he may not watch, but we gonna look

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Oh, honey. We know that.

      • snark-lurker

        Doh!

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Why would you do that?

      • snark-lurker

        i dunno we just gotta cannut help it

        • Swampgas_Man

          *I* can help it just fine, thank you.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that – I was looking up where her eyes are.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      That’s so nice. I just love being sexualized and knowing I’m scrutinized by men for everything I do. At least have the fucking decency to keep it to yourselves.

      • snark-lurker

        just sayin… not that it is a good thing

      • snark-lurker

        so sorry. i will keep stupid sexist guy stuff to myself. it is stupid. it is in bad taste. it is not funny. i am a idiot but trying to learn

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Shanzgood

      So you’re saying we should bite down extra hard, it that it?

      • I have a sudden urge to cross bananas off the shopping list.

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t care. That’s they’s problem. If I worried about being sexualized for everything I did, ate, or wore anymore, I’d never leave the house.

          If they can’t learn how to keep it to themselves, we have lifetimes of anger to heap upon their immature little asses and should not hesitate to do it. THEY are the ones who need to check themselves, not us.

          But the damn bananas!

          • Shanzgood

            Stupid phone made me type “but” instead of “buy” and changed everything!

      • snark-lurker

        i told Astrae i am sorrry. i am sorry. it was stupid and not funny. i am bad

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t think you’re bad for sharing thoughts. Nobody called me bad for expressing my desire to see JT with fewer clothes on than he was wearing in the pic someone posted recently. As long as you don’t do anything that’s the equivalent of me yelling “SHOW US YOUR TITS” at JT people shouldn’t have a problem.

          • snark-lurker

            I sometimes screw up and sometimes I am a jerk.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t think you are a jerk for the banana comment. If you did it to someone’s face WHILE they were eating a banana, yeah, you would be a jerk. But I don’t think you’re one for expressing your opinion here This should not be a Thoughts Police place.

          • snark-lurker

            I still need and am taking a time-out in a corner facing the corner. I sometimes behave badly here cuz annonomyses–I must learn this lesson by paying attention.

    • Persistent Demme

      A friend threatened to do that for years.
      He did get me a frozen banana once, and I bit down hard.
      I think I harshed his mellow.
      (And he deserved it.)

      • snark-lurker

        I was a jerk. It was stupid, not funny. I am sorry and also learnin.

        • Persistent Demme

          No worries.

          (I’m willing to bet that you didn’t realize how many of us have had this experience.)

          • snark-lurker

            You are right. I try to be a lerner & not a irredeemable dickhead.

  • Nounverb911

    In other press gaggle news, spicer has gone from speaking nonsense to speaking gibberish.

    https://twitter.com/SteveKopack/status/839200337802194944

    • twaingirlie

      Robert Gibbs libel!

      • twaingirlie

        Just the worst play on Gibbs’s last name, just the worst.

    • Doug Langley

      Dear Lord, whatever Trump has, it’s contagious.

  • bookish
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I’m attorney Mike Spitz. Have you or a loved one experienced brain surgery by Ben Carson? A huge settlement may be in your future!

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Maybe… I can’t recall.

    • Shanzgood

      He didn’t do those pelvic floor mesh support things, too, did he?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        I’m going to have to admit ignorance in not knowing what that is. But if it’s bad, I’d say there’s an 82% he did it.

        • Shanzgood

          Sorry. Late-night infomercial reference.

      • Persistent Demme

        Only if you pronounce it like: “maezsch.”

        • Shanzgood

          Er…ok?

          • Persistent Demme

            You may have a different ad from ours.
            The woman doing ours put on (or couldn’t hide) a southern, slurry accent when she said “mesh.”

    • Doug Langley

      In between my drooling sessions, I get flashbacks to hands reaching to me, sparking electrodes, and a vague memory of Carson laughing maniacally. Or maybe I’m just having a bad reaction to watching him campaign on TV. Anyway, do I have a case?

  • Royal Ugly Dude
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Like a “dirt nap”?

  • Edith Prickly

    Ye gods. I expect this sort of thing from privileged white morons, but Dr. Ben? He’s a special kind of crazy.

    • Shanzgood

      The R women are the same. “Here, let me align myself with you and your fucked up oppressive agenda so I can feel safer by throwing others of my kind under the bus in hopes that you never run so low on victims that you turn on ME as well.”

      Of course, they don’t think about it like that.

    • Or he is just a privileged black moron. After all, the color of your skin has very little to do with how well your brain works.

  • bookish

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-travel-ban-leverage-20170306-story.html

    In his new directive, Trump ordered a global review to determine whether citizens from additional countries should be blocked from coming to the U.S. as well. He asked the departments of State and Homeland Security, along with intelligence agencies, to determine which countries come up short on cooperating with U.S. immigration officials who are vetting travelers who want to enter the country.

    “We’re looking at an entire — at the rest of the entire world and all of the procedures that we use to address all countries,” White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer told reporters Monday.

    The review gives Trump, who spent his adult life working out real estate transactions, the opportunity to demand concessions from more than 190 countries. At stake is the ability of their citizens and nationals to travel to the United States.

  • I think if we listen to Ben Carson for a minute or two, he proves that memory doesn’t work nearly as well as he claims in that story.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    This man is too stupid to live much less be the head of any gov’t office :( Also, thanks to Samuel L. Jackson for putting Ben in his place!

  • KnaveOfSwords

    If Ben Carson achieves nothing else, it will be to put an end to the use the phrase “it’s not brain surgery.”

    • doktorzoom

      I’ve met some rocket scientists who didn’t especially impress me…

  • bookish
    • Shanzgood

      If you include info on what the link is about, more people might click it. Also if you offer up a personal opinion or talking point about what you’re posting, maybe people would be more inclined to discuss things with you.

      But honestly, this constant link dropping with no editorial or anything is starting to feel like spamming. Especially when I rarely (if ever, I can’t recall) see you engage with anyone who comments on your posts. I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish by scattering these all over every single Wonkette article whether they’re related to the topic or not.

  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-returns-idUSKBN16E2AP?feedType=RSS&feedName=newsOne&google_editors_picks=true

    But in a letter dated March 7 to Hatch, two leading Democrats on the Senate Finance Committee said Trump’s tax returns should be pursued in light of “critical national security implications” posed by contacts between Russian Ambassador Sergei Kislyak and Trump associates, including U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

    “There is no debate that the conflicts in question pose a threat to American national security and the integrity of the government of the United States, and more and more keep coming to light,” wrote Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon, the committee’s top Democrat, and Senator Debbie Stabenow of Michigan.

    Hatch’s office had no immediate comment on Tuesday’s letter.

    The two Democratic lawmakers said national security has long been a focus of the Senate Finance Committee oversight of issues involving trade, Iran and terrorism. They also said the panel has previously sought the tax returns of former Enron Corp executives, oil and gas companies and the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) as part of its oversight duties.

    • Rickyphoo

      We really need Anonymous to do their thing.

      • Persistent Demme

        IKR?
        What’s the hold up?

  • Nick Scroggs

    Oddly enough, reading a book on the old World’s Fairs right now, and it amazes me how much the US actually funded and sponsored so much of the science exhibitions. I mean, most of it was corporations doing stuff to impress other countries and make money, but still. Now, I don’t know what the administration thinks.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    If the pyramids can’t store grain why are Egyptians so fat? Check and matezzzzz zzzzzzzz

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Oh noooo, my libturd head is exploding!

  • bookish

    http://fortune.com/2017/03/07/day-without-a-woman-gdp/?xid=gn_editorspicks&google_editors_picks=true

    One of major goals of the event is to highlight the vital role women play in both the global and domestic economy. While it’s too soon to know the actual economic impact of the movement, the Center for American Progress has a projection: If all paid women were to take off on March 8, it could cost the U.S. almost $21 billion in Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

  • marxalot

    What the human brain needs is a damn indexing system.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I could use a math co-processor.

      • Jennifer R

        I take great joy in the fact that my English teachers who used to sarcastically ask if I was going to carry a computer in my pocket to always spell check now lives in a world where yes in fact I DO.

        • Persistent Demme

          My dad was a math teacher, and he had one of the first calculators (Texas Instruments, $150) on his desk, for the class to use.
          He believed that if his students could get past simple arithmetic, (I think he was thinking of me), they could move on to higher concepts.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I went to Georgia Tech (1979-1983) and the big fight was whether TI or HP was the superior calculator. TI was preferred by people in the sciences and business. HP was preferred by the engineers and computer geeks. I was Industrial Management with a minor in CompSci and I had TI.
            Summary ~ there have always been technology fights. Betamax vs VHS. Apple vs PC. iPhone vs Android. Same as it ever was.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YufV_Lkine8

          • doktorzoom

            I had a friend in high school with a TI calculator that could be programmed, and stored data on itty-bitty magnetic strips. about a third the size of a stick of gum. He wore it in a case on his belt, and acquired the unfortunate nickname “Quick-Draw.”

            Gather round, children, and I’ll tell about how we’d use a modem that connected to a phone handset to dial up a university computer and play a dumb Star Trek game on his brother’s TRS-80….

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            HP calculators could store programs without the strips. And all of GT was inhabited and is to this day inhabited by people with unfortunate nicknames. Luckily, I went to an accelerated program in HS so those days ended for me in MS.

          • SeeTrain65

            My friend had both that calculator and a Tandy computer we played his Star Trek game on. The TRS whatever, before color. In those days the height of terror was having your Enterprise destroyed in a massive Klingon ambush.

  • Someone should start a blog called, “Shit our HUD Secretary Said.”

  • Peggy Ryan

    Jethro D. Bodine.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I think we now know what is under Trump’s hair. A Ben Carson hole, for the Rememberertron Zaptrodes. Also probably explains why he “remembers” things like Muslims dancing after 9/11, and being thought of as “great.”

  • DainBramage

    Ben Carson on lynching (allegedly!), “Isn’t it wonderful of the people of this community to help that black man out by giving him a fine piece of rope?”

  • toughsister

    Follow-up on my “doctors in politics” question: why are African-American conservatives such pools of vomit?

    • Persistent Demme

      My first campaign was for an African American running for congress.
      He would just shake his head sadly, sigh, and mutter “black Republicans.”
      (Think of what kind of person wants to be a “token,” and listen to Gooper shit all day.)

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      These are the true bottom feeders, ~5% of Blacks. That’s all the GOP has left. My grandfather was active in the state GOP. My dad and his friends were Black Republicans. Luckily, my mom is a lifelong Democrat, so the political discussions could get very interesting. But my dad was a Bernie supporter this election cycle and with my brother’s influence probably voted Johnson. But my mom may have prevailed on him to vote for Clinton. I don’t want to know because that would be my dad’s third strike (Nixon in ’72, Gingrich in ’80).
      McCain – 4%
      Romney – 6%
      Trump – 8% (est)
      https://ropercenter.cornell.edu/polls/us-elections/presidential-elections/
      http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/11/09/behind-trumps-victory-divisions-by-race-gender-education/

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Self-hatred is endemic for minorities of any kind in a society with any sort of prejudice or inequality, and it particularly tends to manifest as identification with the majority group and discomfort with one’s own group. The most extreme pathological end of the spectrum is represented by Roy Cohn types, or by African-American conservatives. The latter are a very sick group because someone has to be very sick to belong to that group.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        In school, it was called imitating your oppressor, and it cuts across demographics.

    • HarpyLibtart

      Because the amount of self-loathing one has to internalize in order to successfully attempt to assimilate with the social demographic that has traditionally oppressed one’s own minority group destroys the moral conscience and suppresses the capacity for logical reasoning, reducing cognitive dissonance in order to allow full integration of the cultural mores and stereotypes of the dominant group one wishes to join.
      Successful assimilation produces a dissociative state which allows a person to observe those of their group who reject said assimilation as the aberrant actors, enabling the justification of all kinds of crazy bullshit.
      See: Milo Yiannopoulis, Log Cabin Republicans, Rachel Dolezal, Diamond & Silk, etc…

  • Persistent Demme

    Is there something organically wrong with him?
    (Demme flails about, searching for an excuse.)

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Yes.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. Don’t even try to understand.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m fairly certain he’s addicted to Oxycontin, if not actually mentally ill. He couldn’t possibly be as stupid as he appears to be.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Ketamin. Special K. Money bet.

    • thixotropic jerk

      AOTK

  • Doug Langley

    I know it’s just coincidence, but I just watched a Columbo rerun where the killer was a doctor – dentist, to be exact. He gimmicked the guy’s crown, inserting a dab of poison covered with a time delayed dissolving patch. Hours later, the patch dissolved and the guy was toast.

    Enjoy your next cavity filling.

  • ltmcdies

    my only comment is how much I admire Samuel L Jackson’s twitter restraint…I was expecting far more “muthafucker” tweets.

    • 333tenant

      But Dok Zoom for the motherfucking win with “Samuel L. Jackson… made it clear he’s had enough of those motherfucking snakes in Carson’s motherfucking brain”!

  • Keith Taylor

    How about the slaves’ really, REALLY short-term dream as they went over the Middle Passage in those blackbird ships? The one that involved breaking loose, tossing captain and crew to the sharks, and sailing back to Africa? I’ll bet that was more intensely in their minds than have their descendants make good in that new land they were going to. (For which, hey there psssst Ben Carson, their actual preferred name was Hell.)

  • Scrofula

    OK, that pyramids thing. You know, cause Bible.
    Ben Carson has the cash and clout to physically travel to the damned things tomorrow. He’s VIP enough they’d even let him inside. He could see the total lack of space for grain, and the actual presence of tombs for pharoahs WITH HIS OWN EYES. He might have to take a few uppers to counter the ketamine and dronabinol he’s on, but c’mon, those things EXIST. Right now.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      So about this dronabinol…

      • Scrofula

        Delivered IV no less.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    This administration is going so well…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Ninety percent of Republicans think Trump is doing great. That tells you how batshit crazy that party is.

      • Scrofula

        [everything is fine dog.jpg]

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Hallucinating about a black man doing president things can do wonders for the party.

  • Ben Carson’s view of how memory works is precisely identical to that expressed in Dianetics. Holy shit.

  • Maybe if electric shocks were applied to his brain, he’d remember enough science to realize his babbling is nonsense?

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      Let’s go ahead. Repeat with more voltage each time until it does some good.

  • Delu

    Hey if the Pyramids were granaries…..

  • Delu

    If only all the questions he had to answer had to do with the brain.

    Other people’s brain, of course, and about operating them.

    I don’t mean his own.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Brain surgeon, heal thyself.

    • phoenix00

      It’s an ongoing process with Carson. Give it time.

  • Zyxomma

    He’s confused an electrode with a Taelon CVI: http://efc.wikia.com/wiki/Cyber-Viral_Implant

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    And what exactly does this have to do with his job? Does Dr. Carson even understand that he has a job now, that he needs to actually govern and decide policy that will have real world effects? He’s just the latest I worry about along these lines. Sec. Perry at DOE, Sec. Tillerson at State, Sec. Devos at Education….get to work you pathetic creeps. People, millions and millions of us are depending on you. That really scares me.

    • HazooToo

      Honestly, I’d rather they keep going on TV and saying stupid shit, while their hopefully competent aides get the work done/.

    • phoenix00

      Oh you know workdays gonna be like this all day everyday.
      https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlyrQbIvWDdTa6I/giphy.gif

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Oddly, that little dance works for the Department of Energy.

  • Serai 1

    said Carson, speaking extemporaneously

    Yeah, no shit.

  • Charlotteopaul

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl481c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !dl481c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs771ShopUltimateGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl481c:….,……

  • John Frum

    He wakes up says some weird shit, goes back to sleep. He’s the Grandfather Clock from Captain Kangaroo.

  • I wonder how many medical negligence cases he lost before they hung up his scalpel and bone saw?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    In actual fact, SOME people actually can “store a perfect and permanent record of our experiences” in our brains. This is called photographic memory, and it is often a curse, and not a blessing. It can lead to PTSD if the memories are negative. I know this because I am one of those people. I have very vivid memories that play out in my mind like a movie, going back to age 2, and the details do not change. My sister, on the other hand, is a more normal person who is constantly rewriting her memories and thinks she was present at events that happened to other people when she wasn’t there at all. She has rewritten her entire childhood and adolescence, and also our parent’s and grandparent’s life history.

    Most of my old school friends don’t seem to remember much about our shared childhood and adolescence. I will say things like “Do you remember the sleep-over we had at so-and-so’s house in 1970 (we were all 14 years old) where we had a seance and scared ourselves half to death by trying to call the spirit of JFK?” and they don’t remember it at all. I remember every detail, including the pattern on the carpet in the room we were sitting in. This is not particularly useful information, but I have retained it for some strange reason.

    My point is that Mr. Carson is an idiot and his statement is incorrect for at least 95% of people, but it is not 100% incorrect. I think that might be a hallmark of the alt-right – they scatter one or two irrelevant facts in with 20 lies, and then when you challenge the 20 lies, they point to the one true thing they said as if that proves that the 20 lies are also true.

  • Ducksworthy

    Who made the decision to let this man operate on children’s brains?

    • phoenix00

      Who made the decision to let this man operate on ADULT brains? Or ferret brains for that matter.

  • James Yakura

    How does a brain surgeon not know even basic things about how brains work?

    • HarpyLibtart

      Because according to him, Jesus feeds him the answers to exam questions.

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