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Every bit as accurate as it was 8 years ago.

The Republican plan to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act is finally here, and it’s designed to achieve the nation’s most important health care goals: having a plausible chance of collecting just enough Republican votes to pass, maybe. Oh, and if it does become law, millions of people will go back to being uninsured, and many of them will get sicker and die, or go bankrupt, but that’s hardly important. The main thing is fulfilling eight years of promises to repeal Obamacare, which no one likes except for roughly half of Americans. But a whole quarter of people polled do want the ACA repealed, so that’s a mandate. Let’s grab some tongs and nose plugs and see what exactly is in this shit sandwich they’re calling the “American Health Care Act.”

The Republican plan, in the form of two House bills, would keep three popular provisions of the ACA: no exclusions for preexisting conditions, no annual or lifetime caps on benefits, and children can stay on their parents’ insurance until the age of 26. Beyond that, things start getting all free-markety and grim. Our favorite Dumb Republican Talking Point is that this plan eliminates the hated mandate that everyone must buy health insurance or pay a tax penalty. And it does. Oh, but there’s a “but”: If you drop your insurance and don’t buy a new plan within 2 months, your new insurance will cost 30% more for an entire year. But it’s not a mandate!

Instead of the ACA’s subsidies for insurance plans sold on the individual market, the Republican version would offer refundable tax credits of between $2000 and $4000 a year, depending on the enrollee’s age and income. This would actually provide better financial help for one slice of the self-insured market: middle-aged people who make a bit too much to qualify for subsidies under the ACA, which doesn’t provide any subsidy for people making over $48,000 a year. So, will there be much difference between getting a subsidy and getting a tax credit? Of course there will be: lower-income people will get screwed, as God intended.

Compared with the ACA’s subsidies, the tax credits would go to more people but provide less financial help to lower-income people, according to Larry Levitt, senior vice president of the Kaiser Family Foundation.

It’s all right though. Because the House GOP is pretty sure that if you make less than $48,000 a year, you are probably just going to win the lottery anyway — at least, judging by the fact that literally ten percent of the bill deals with throwing lottery winners off Medicaid (at last! something on which we can all bipartisanly agree!).

If you’re a statistics nerd, the Kaiser Family Foundation has a more detailed look at how the proposed tax credits would stack up against the ACA’s subsidies.

Say, here’s a neat trick: the GOP plan will free insurance companies to charge older enrollees five times as much as they do younger ones, which will probably swallow up the somewhat expanded tax credits for a lot of people. The ACA only allowed insurers to charge three times as much as youngs. That means “adults ages 60 to 64 would see their annual premiums soar 22%, or nearly $3,200, to nearly $18,000,” according to a study commissioned by AARP. Hooray for individual responsibility! If you’re going to insist on aging, the costs should be on YOU.

Oh, and yes, there’s also the millions of people who’ll lose coverage: The plan would roll back the ACA’s expansion of Medicaid starting in 2020 (people who enrolled prior to that could keep it), but that’s OK because poor people don’t want insurance and don’t care about their health anyway. They like dying from preventable illnesses, because they’re poor — if they were smart, they’d be rich, wouldn’t they?

Beyond the rollback of Medicaid expansion, the House bills would also cut funding for Medicaid as a whole, because Fuck The Poor is why:

It would overhaul the whole program, which covers more than 70 million people, by sending states a fixed amount of money per enrollee, known as a per-capita cap. This would limit federal responsibility, shifting that burden to the states. However, since states don’t have the money to make up the difference, they would likely either reduce eligibility, curtail benefits or cut provider payments.

All this could hurt not only poor adults, but also low-income children, women, senior citizens and the disabled.

Oh, yeah, it also specifically defunds Planned Parenthood, but nobody needs that, right?

Are you sick of winning yet? Really, there’s no reason to worry about it, since by the time the biggest changes of TrumpCare go into effect, Donald Trump will have brought so many jobs back to America that everyone will be much richer anyway. Or at the very least, Trump supporters won’t really get screwed by the changes for an election cycle or two, so that works out just fine.

The winners under the new plan are people who are younger and healthier, who will be less inclined to buy into insurance pools, and will never age or need medical care in the future, because as most 20-year-olds know, if you’re young and healthy now, you stay that way forever. Also, insurance companies will have a hell of an incentive to support the GOP plan: Under the ACA, insurance companies could only deduct the first $500,000 of executives’ income as a business expense. The GOP, which at least knows how to reach out to the truly needy, removes that limit so insurers can write off their CEOs’ entire multi-million dollar compensation. Surely that will motivate them to find cost-effective solutions for all policyholders.

Oh, there are also a couple details still to be worked out, as even Fox News noticed:

The only good news about this mess is that plenty of Republicans already hate it. Four GOP senators from states who’ve accepted Medicaid expansion are already opposed to that provision, while in the House, rightwing nutbars from the Freedom Caucus hate the proposal because it’s far too generous and won’t kill enough poor people isn’t a straight repeal of Obamacare that would leave health care up to the free market. So in addition to universal Democratic opposition, it seems nobody likes this mess. And we mean nobody:

Then there’s Donald Trump, who has insisted he would never support any plan that didn’t cover everyone. Maybe he’ll come out against the House GOP plan, since it very clearly will not cover everyone. Yep, he’ll probably insist they fix that. You bet he will. That Donald Trump, he’s a man of his word, all right… Hey! LOOK! OBAMA TAPPED HIS WIRES! IMPEACH OBAMA!

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and supported by donations from our readers. Please give generously, since laughter may soon be the only medicine you can afford.

[NYT / WaPo / KFF / WaPo /CNN Money / Atlantic]

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  • goonemeritus

    Finally the oppressive boot of oppression is being lifted from the necks of our most affluent citizens.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Did you mean “effluent”? Auto-correct can be a pain.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – TX SB6 update:

    we’re listening to Tony Perkins (dear god) and he’s saying #SB6 would prevent more men from rubbing their dicks on Sonic windows while teenaged girls are eating.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • anwisok

      Yeah. It let me embed one, the rest show as links. WTF disqus? WTF?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sometimes you have to reload the page to get the imbedded content to display properly. Disqus has had this issue…forever, best I can tell.

        • anwisok

          Tried it – not working. *shrug*

    • yyyaz

      All mine appeared, but they’re hideous, so algorithm is working?

  • DahBoner

    TRUMP SCARE Summary

    ↑ Cost of Insurance Premiums for Elderly
    ↓ Number of people covered
    ↓ Taxes for the Ultra Rich

    TRUMP SCARE is a WINNER!!!1!1!

    (of Sad Buffoon award)
    http://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/distressed-vector-stamp-seal-insults-loser-sad-buffoon-weak-vector-id639900398

  • Johnatx

    It’s actually worse than you describe. The stuff listed is what they can do with reconciliation (51 votes.) They can still gut the pre-existing conditions coverage and the no-caps with 60 votes (unlikely) or with 51 if they nuke the filibuster. Yay. Freedom to die

    • DahBoner

      Bait and Switch?

      • Johnatx

        More like Bait and Die. It’s personal for me. My kid has pre-existing conditions.

        • yyyaz

          If you have human genes, you are born with pre-existing conditions. Can’t wait for all the data harvested from 23andme and the other “ancestry” sites to be used as screening tools for which infants will be insured.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            See, that’s been my thought about that all along! I would never let my DNA be tested by a company like that with this “administration” in charge.

        • theCryptofishist

          Oh, how horrible for you. Really, I got nothing else.

  • goonemeritus

    The main problem with Obamacare is that the penalties for not joining were not severe enough to compel people to join. This is a sad truth, everyone with any real knowledge of how healthcare works agrees on this point. Ryancare will be even less likely to compel healthy people into the pool. Additionally it will be less generous in subsidizing coverage so it will make things worse and fast.

    • doktorzoom

      But only after 2018!

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        And tossing medicare folks off in 2020, hopefully after the census.

      • goonemeritus

        True but I’m guessing not even then. Republicans are split between letting the people harvest their own leaches and the rebranding camp. While Democrats seem firmly in the fuck you, you’re not getting our help camp. Leaving Republicans without enough votes to slide this turd onto Trump’s desk.

    • Amy!

      And the non-mandate 30% one-year penalty for missing two payments is the sort of thing that is designed to prevent the poor from being able to afford insurance, unless/until they’re so desperate that they stop eating and sell the children for scientific experiments.

  • anwisok
  • Oblios_Cap

    it’s not a mandate!

    It’s an incentive!

  • Michael R
    • Ricky Gay

      “Now here’s something we hope you will really hate!”

  • As trump realizes how many people in this country really do believe he’s a horse’s ass, he will go out of his way to hurt as many detractors as possible….as sociopath’s do.

  • Ducksworthy

    Faster denials. Eliminates lingering.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
  • Oblios_Cap

    literally ten percent of the bill deals with throwing lottery winners off Medicaid

    Screw them. They’re the noveau riche.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is one of the most absurd things about this steaming pile of Ryan.

  • Poly_Ester

    Save the embarrassment of renaming this in a few weeks, call it Pencecare, now.

    • Historicat

      Republicare – let them all own this turd.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Carol Bannon is a very, very stupid woman.

    What I love about this “plan” is that the most oppressed group of people in this country, health insurance CEOs, finally get a tax break.

    • Chadwells

      Um…last name Bannon, so yeah!!!

  • Blackest Noobs

    you just gotta love dumbshits like Carol Bannon who is apparently just a conservative in name only…..like how the fuck don’t you know what’s the National Review as a supposed “conservative.”

    she’s probably also just a X-Mas/Easter “Christian” too.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      She’s a Fox conservative. She got up in a total stranger’s face on Twitter without knowing who he was at a time when it wasn’t actually possible for her to have familiarized herself with the content of the bill, and he writes words you have to read.

  • Lulu Mac

    It’s only 10:30am and I already need to drink…

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I would normally suggest coffee, but maybe go for a walk?

    • snark-lurker

      pants off bottoms up here

  • Carpe Vagenda

    It’s probably wrong to be this deply satisfied that the stalwart conservatives of NRO and the National Review finally succeeded in bringing history to a screaming halt and the armies of the righteous are NOKD and don’t know who they are.

    https://twitter.com/EricBoehlert/status/839142988592852994

  • Bill D. Burger
  • monoglot

    Medicare for all–except, of course, for rich Republican congresscritters, who should have the right to die of preventable and treatable conditions right now. They are the only ones among us who deserve that level of Freedom: Dedcon 1.

  • Crystalclear12

    This plan also assumes insurance companies won’t pull out now that the individual mandate is gone.

    What’s that old saying about ‘assume’?

  • Ricky Gay

    That Carol Bannon tweet is pure comedy gold

    • Michael R

      She’s getting her 15 minutes of laughing stock .

  • Oblios_Cap

    I was reading, that even with the CEOs being able to keep more of their cash, insurance companies aren’t too keen on the bill either.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Any health law nerds have thoughts on how it’s legal to target a specific set of providers (since PPs are all individual affiliates with different provider numbers) for exclusion from participating in Medicaid for no good reason whatsoever without violating patients’ rights to go to the provider of their choice?

    • anwisok

      Ain’t nutthin about a “Right to see a Doctorr” in the Constitooshun, Libtard!

      • yyyaz

        Of course doctors back then were also barbers and kept leeches in jars in the office just in case you wanted a little extra bleeding to go with your shave. Originalism!

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Hello! I’m here to explain to you your new Republican healthcare plan. This won’t take long.”

    http://33.media.tumblr.com/b1cbaeaed78ecd127e4537c37136fb7f/tumblr_mrwp5gfZ8M1s0xrqjo1_250.gif

  • Iron Monkey

    At last we can throw off the yoke of affordable health care.

    • Oblios_Cap

      You have nothing to lose but your life chains!

  • Vincent Ricola

    So will I get welfare subsides when I have to quit my job and move my family back in with my elderly parents to personally provide inadequate healthcare solutions that I found on WebMD?

    Haahaahaa, just kidding, I already know the answer.

  • Crystalclear12

    On the plus side it would help the media industry. They would have a new segment.
    “Who died due to lack of coverage today?” and “Ryancare body count!”

    • efoveks

      It needs to be called Don’tCare. That at least is succinct and honest.

    • suziq

      Uh, no. That shit gets swept right under the rug. Nobody dies from lack of coverage, they just didn’t work hard enough to afford decent medical care. not the same thing.

  • Oblios_Cap

    You have a hobo trash can for your fire? Elitist!

  • Iron Monkey

    The iron heel of decent healthcare will be lifted from the necks of our poorest citizens.

  • exinkwretch

    TrumpCare WILL cover everyone! (With a couple of feet of soil in a pauper’s grave.)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The hole is free, it’s the covering that’ll cost ya.

  • efoveks

    Also too: don’t be female, don’t have babies and don’t go to Planned Parenthood… such a lovely, tone deaf quality to all this.

    • But, other than that, it’s family friendly, right?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Republican Healthcare Provider: “Eat heartily. It’s your last meal.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/04e44e900089b575987fead43e1774b0155b878a9a96832171155e2ac4c63cc5.gif

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      GEOFFREY: Yes, well, the thing is, we’ve got some people from America for dinner tonight, and–

      ANGELA: Who is it, darling?

      GEOFFREY: It’s a ‘Mr. Death’ or something. He’s come about the reaping? I don’t think we need any at the moment.

      ANGELA: Hello. Well, don’t leave him hanging around outside, darling. Ask him in.

      GEOFFREY: Darling, I don’t think it’s quite the moment.

      ANGELA: Do come in. Come along in. Come and have a drink. Do. Come on.

      • Bill D. Burger

        That whole scene always makes me laugh out loud.

        • yyyaz

          “You Americans with your ‘let me tell you this and let me tell you that.’ Well you’re DEAD now, so SHUT UP!”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I have always felt MP’s TMOL to be their most underrated movie.

    • Thiazin Red

      I can’t hear the word mouse without thinking of this scene.

    • yyyaz

      Good thing she didn’t use the canned clams.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      ‘But I didn’t have the salmon mousse!’

      • yyyaz

        *shh! tut tut!*

    • mailman27

      LOOKS LIKE I’M GOING TO BE BUSY.

  • calliecallie

    Do they have universal health care in Russia? Asking for a friend.

    • Bill D. Burger

      The Constitution of the Russian Federation has provided all citizens the right to free healthcare under Mandatory Medical Insurance since 1996.

      Well, just don’t cross Putin. Nothing will cover that.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        That’s a de-existing condition.

    • eyelashviper

      Free polonium cocktails for special folks…

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Sorta: http://vodka-store.com/595-880-thickbox/bullet-vodka-70cl-40.jpg

      If healthy, drink. If sick, insert at 800 feet per second.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Yes. Bigly. Vladimir is a terrific guy. Talk to him all the time. Er uhm, I never met this Putin. I’m not the puppet! You’re the puppet! Obama did wire tapp me. Sick guy. Sad!

  • Michael R

    ” Carol Sbordon Bannon is a full-time writer with a degree in elementary education from Worcester State University. She is a substitute teacher and has been a catechist for over thirty years. In addition to A Handshake From Heaven, she is also the coauthor of Our Family’s Christmas Elf. “

    • And that has what to do with this?

    • yyyaz

      Lemme know when “A Christmas Handy From Heaven by Exotic Elves in Tinkerbell Costumes” comes out.

    • TakingAmes

      I’m pretty sure there are no elves in teh catechism. So what’s that about, Carol? If that is your real name!

  • Ghenghis McCann

    I love Carol Bannon’s tweet. She uses 2 instead of to, but then gets all grammatical by using whom.

    • TakingAmes

      Wait. Her last name is BANNON?! It all comes together! Conspiracy! Rant! ELEVEN!!!!!!111!!!!

  • Blackest Noobs

    so completely off subject rant:

    i fucking HATE….and i do mean HATE…people who go out in public wearing fucking pajamas..and no I don’t mean going outside to pick up the paper or the mail….but out to a mall or the post office or the library. REALLY?!? you’re that fucking lazy you couldn’t trouble yourself to dress yourself?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hey, at least they’re wearing something like pants!

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        You say that like pants are a GOOD thing.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Presumably, because they’re still in their nightwear, they haven’t showered either.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They even get on planes in their PJ’s.

      • Blackest Noobs

        ugggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Yep, that’s exactly how lazy I am.

      http://i.imgur.com/l94afJm.gif

      • Blackest Noobs

        that’s fine and all but it leads to wearing yogurt- pants in an office environment…totally lacks professionalism…but sure you be a slacker.

        it’s not as if being slackers fucked up this country or anything. ok, one of the litany of reasons the country is fucked.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I look fucking great in the office.

          Doesn’t stop me from putting my long winter coat on over my pj’s to go grocery shopping in the winter.

          • Blackest Noobs

            you can make all the excuses you want, it’s still uncouth.

    • Thiazin Red

      My first year of college there was one girl on my floor who never got dressed, just wore one of two sets of pajamas around everywhere. I would have kicked her out of class, have some basic respect.

    • eyelashviper

      One of the sacred Murikin rights, next to gunz, of course. Jammie wearing is a sign of Murikin Exceptionazxzims and Jebus’s blessings.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank
      • Blackest Noobs

        I would drag him into the street and beat him with an Elmo doll.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          Harsh! I just voted for the other guy, myself!

          • Blackest Noobs

            well i didn’t fight brown skinned people in the desert so some fucking jagoff could hang in PJ’s with hot chicks

  • Ducksworthy

    Just so you know, most of the money in Medicaid is going to care for old white ladies not welfare mommas.

    • efoveks

      “Women past childbearing age. In other words, useless”– GOP response.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Checked Carol’s twittter feed…my, she’s getting plenty of attention of the snarktastic kind.

    • When you put your fingers on the keypad, and type something really stupid, you can expect that sort of thing. Has she whined yet about lieberuls attacking her?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’m hoping beyond hope that George Takei sees this and has something to say.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Oh, my!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, I mean, really, she retweets bullshit memes more or less constantly and then this. And they let this woman teach children.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/da8a91ae708149ddd7fe22b1b36649577b524e8ab084ea603348b9f3602eaf47.png

    • wide_stance_hubby

      She’s going to have to claim ‘hacker’ soon.

      Or just carve something on her forehead in her rear view mirror.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Is she Steve’s sister?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Sister, wife, mother, whatever. He’s not into labels.

  • Chadwells
  • Oblios_Cap

    Well, prayer is free, and you get what you pay for.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Thoughts are, however, a few $$ apiece.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Damn. I used to pay a penny per.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Inflation.

      • theCryptofishist

        Well, that explains why the republicans don’t have them.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The real question is, if premiums continue to rise, how will the GOP make it Obama’s fault?

    • snark-lurker

      he rigged it somehow

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Always be lying.

    • Thaumaturgist

      The problem isn’t TrumpCare. It’s that biased Messican judge.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Gonzalo Curad?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The name?

  • Marceline

    Carol is a perfect little Repub. They assume everyone is as willfully ignorant as they are.

  • schmannity

    Terrific?

  • jaspersdad

    This is one area where the US has really got it wrong.

    https://youtu.be/GU0d8kpybVg

    • Bill D. Burger

      Classic scene….and somewhat prophetic. I see that as the new Republican Ambulance Service.

      • Not to mention the cost savings in dealing with the elderly and terminally ill!

      • TakingAmes

        Up to and including the family getting the bill in six weeks.

      • theCryptofishist

        So much of the Pythons was prophetic. “Every Sperm is Sacred” anyone?

  • schmannity

    Besides, if health costs become too much, you can use the Bankruptcy Code like smrt bidnessmen do.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh man, Charles C. W. Cooke’s shade is fucking dragTASTIC.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Can you share?

  • Marceline

    Today’s news cycle has already fucking exhausted me.

  • Asterix

    This bullshit “healthcare” plan is one of several reasons I woke up in a blind rage this morning.

    I hate republicans.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      What were the other reasons?

      • Asterix

        Muslim Ban part 2
        Sudan
        Somalia
        Trump still in the WH

        • generalleeme

          Asterix…we just might be twins from different mothers. I hate Repubs, the new and failed 2.0 Muslim ban, Trump still in office and this new cruel joke clusterfuck of a replacement plan for the ACA. The rage is more than warranted.

          • Asterix

            I’m not sharing my wine. It’s the only thing that gets me to sleep at night.

          • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

            Also: CalmsForte, valerian, Rescue Sleep, melatonin (tiny dose of 300 mcg *if* used nitely), magnesium 400mg (can make you poop in the A.M., so try it on a not-before-work nite), and Quietude. Have not yet tried coffea cruda.
            …. Chlorpheniramine has a shorter half-life than diphenhydramine, so it creates less (or no) A.M. grogginess.
            ….. drweil.com for good advice on healthful living, including better sleep. (Me: insomniac since 1982)

  • Michael Smith

    Are the Republicans insane? Look, if you are a Republican, you’re encouraged to screw the Poors, to screw the Browns, to screw the Ladies, but you DO NOT screw the Olds! (Unless they are Poor, or Browns, or Ladies, then its not as bad, but still be careful). Wow, this is really dumb even for them.

    • snark-lurker

      it is a fake they will not really pass it

      • Me not sure

        I can’t see it getting through the Senate.

        • theCryptofishist

          So, now instead of endless repetitions of repealing the ACA, we are going to have endless repetitions of trying to pass this?

          • Me not sure

            When one knows nothing about drafting policy and has no interest in doing so anyway, wheel spinning is the preffered outcome for the rest of us.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      No downside, tho — the olds will be deader sooner, thus not voicing opposition.

  • eyelashviper

    How many Trumpanzees have a light bulb going off in their noggins yet? “Ya mean ME???”

    • Antonin Dvorak

      None of them, Katie.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Sadly none. They are lost causes.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    You can really smell the freedom.

    • georgiaburning

      Sniff, yes. They really need to bury the bodies deeper.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Thought that was gangrene from people with untreated Type 2 diabetes. Maybe they’re one and the same.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Grab ’em by the pus.

        • Querolous

          That. Is. Disgusting.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    So the Republican health care bill really is Jonathan Swifts a Modest Proposal. Has anyone ever told wingnuts that was ya know, satire?

    • You mean it wasn’t a free market plan to deal with all those “children” that they lose any concern about after exiting the womb?

    • Asterix

      Not to them. It’s their secular bible.

      • TakingAmes

        No, that’s Atlas Shrugged.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I KNEW there was a reason they didn’t want those Irish babbys aborted…

      • theCryptofishist

        something something Irish unwed something home wasted protein something.

  • Relativicus

    Two things, one thing that makes the top of my head spin and my eyes boil, and one an angle I’ve not seen discussed:

    Head spinning, eyes boiling thing: almost everything I read on this distinguishes “conservatives” in the House as if there is some conflict between GOP moderates and conservatives. The House has Randians, it has evangelicals, it has crazy science-hating doctors, and it has war hawks. And, of course, they all overlap significantly. The sole distinguishing feature between any of them is not that some are conservative and some are not, but rather that some can put up a front of reasonableness and sanity, others are Hair-On-Fire Gohmert Goobers who keep their beanies on with scotch tape, and those who sit somewhere in between. Get your shit together, The Media, and stop with the bullshit!

    Undiscussed (that I’ve seen) angle: under the ACA, we have a mandate to purchase insurance, which is targeted more at The Youth but applied to everyone. Those who don’t sign-up are penalized. With the mandate and the penalty, more young people signed up for insurance than would have prior, while others simply decided to take the penalty. Without the mandate, my guess is even less young folks, and less folks in general, will sign up for insurance at all because there’s no incentive to do so (I do not believe tax credits, refundable or otherwise, will matter one bit in the decision making). The decision made by a young, healthy person to purchase health insurance will likely come down to “Do I need insurance at this moment, can I afford to pay for insurance, and is there something else I’d rather spend my money on,” much like it had always been.

    • efoveks

      You are absolutely spot on. I think the LA Times had an article that pointed that out. We are screwed under this new plan. Hopefully it will fail passage, and do so spectacularly.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yeah, because apparently the experts in the GOP on insurance have no clue as to what a “risk pool” is. Which is why you have the mandate/penalties built in…to provide an incentive for people to jump into the risk pool.

      • efoveks

        risk pool = one that cleans itself! (If the GOP gets it’s way, the “risks” who fill it will be recirculating at record speed.)

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        my favorite part? Now, instead of any penalties for non participation going to the government/back into the pool to pay for subsidies, the surcharge for non continuous coverage goes to the insurance companies. 60 days of missed payments (2 billing cycles of disputed payments or other corporate billing fuckery) and they get to sock you a 30% surcharge. Remember how those patriots all screamed about how unconstitutional it was to fine you for not buying something from a private company? Now, you’ll still get fined, only the fine itself gets paid to a private company.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Are you saying you hate the free market?

          • theCryptofishist

            Yup, this mommyblog is a hotbed of commie, anti-american sentiment.
            (Mmmmmm. Hotbed.)

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Fuckers. We all know the insurance companies will lie, cheat and steal to kick people off and there will be no recourse.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          This is what kills me too because it’s so blatant. Basically additional revenue to line the pockets of insurance companies. It’s absolutely crazy.

        • theCryptofishist

          Feature, not bug.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      This disaster is what happens when you throw out all the people who are even mildly interested in governing and replace them with newbs who only know how to obstruct.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’d like to drown Grover Norquist in a bathtub full of votes.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Of course! They’ve baked in noncompliance until you need the product. Why buy insurance ahead of time and risk the 30% surcharge if you miss a couple payments when you’re healthy? Just wait until something goes really wrong and get insurance then.

  • Liberal Fascist Ron

    ‘I’m the editor of National Review Online.’
    <gigglesnorts> Ya BURNT, Carol!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      With NO hope of ever living it down!

    • efoveks

      I’m a little confused though. Was he really referring to Obamacare or what the GOP just unveiled?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The latter.

        • efoveks

          Okay. That makes more sense. Also too, thanks! :)

    • What’s funny is that according to her username, she’s apparently a Catholic. Who hasn’t been paying attention to what cool pope has been saying.

      • RobKanC

        You mean the traitor pope?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I know from Catholic moms, and sI know many who are really smart and of course conflicted about many aspects of their religion and I know many others who are convinced that 80% of the Federal Budget goes directly to Planned Parenthood explicitly earmarked for 3rd term abortions.

    • Jgb979

      Guarantee you she now believes the National Review is a part of the liberal media

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Given that I refer to it as the National Socialist Review, there’s that magic word that makes it “liberal”.

      • aureolaborealis

        If it’s not shilling for Trump/Ryan care, then IT IS!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Good morning! I’m here to tell you about the new and exciting
    Republican Healthcare Plan.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c0c1b2707bedd09f0233f6eb1f2cb85d3c8f35a3dfae098844ef22496d4e2a25.jpg

  • eyelashviper

    TrumpNoCare…available as a coupon to be redeemed at Walmart or the nearest Dollar Store for Special Bandaid Bootstraps, including four aspirin, for the extra special price of $199.99, plus shipping, handling, and groping.

    • snark-lurker

      i will grope (the right ladies) for pay

      • TakingAmes

        Nah, man, gotta be an equal opportunity groper. Wait, no, that’s not right… Only if they’re 8s or higher. Never mind.

        • snark-lurker

          & 10s are on the house

          • OppressedMass

            You guys are gross. I cast shade upon you.

          • snark-lurker

            well we are guys afterall

  • Suttree

    So I am actually on hold with Medicaid right now. It appears that I haven’t been cut off. I am changing the PCP that I was assigned, that is miles away in the wrong direction. I need help with my back, blood pressure, and anti-depressants. I also have been meaning to get a colonoscopy for about 9 years. I have a history of colon cancer in my family. I need to get all of the healthcare that I can before I get kicked off of the rolls for some fucking unknown reason. Someone needs to remind me to get my eyes checked also too.

    • snark-lurker

      your gonna need pants for all that

    • Suttree

      JFC! I just got hung up on after 40 minutes of being on hold!!!!!!!!

      • snark-lurker

        well that sucks
        WTF?!

        • yyyaz

          You’re kidding right? Most Medicare/Medicaid calls made in my neck of the mountains are timed in hours, and if you press the wrong response number anytime in the process you get to start over. And disconnects happen at least 25% of the time.

          • snark-lurker

            donut know cuz i donut use it but DAMM! that is worse than Cable!

          • Erala Contratista

            AT&T!

          • theCryptofishist

            Nope, no liebullz, whatsoever–the Cable Industry, allegedly.

    • Jgb979

      As someone who’s had to have colonoscopies since he was 16 for a variety of weird things: They’re nowhere near as bad as they’re made out.

      The intestinal drano really only affects your life the day before, and the procedure you’re drugged up enough you have no memory of.

      • snark-lurker

        i was awake & watched the whole thing on computer monitor placed just for me to see

        • Jgb979

          Really?

          It was Versed for me originally (which has kind of a residual high but leaves you groggy). Most places then switched to propofol (which you can recover much quicker from)

          Have had a few where I regain consciousness towards the end never awake the entire time.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I had mine done a few years back and it was Versed for me. God, I love versed – had both my hips done with it and a spinal block. No inhaled anesthesia for the win!

        • OppressedMass

          Me too, for awhile anyway. I was glad to see that my insides were spotlessly clean, considering how I suffered to get that way.

        • Erala Contratista

          I asked for that, but only got to see the last second or so :-

          Better luck next time?

          Did notice the food dye in the 5 gallons of antifreeze I got to quaff glows!

      • Suttree

        I heard the drugs are awesome!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Meh, if you like being numb and semi-conscious. I was hoping for something a little more entertaining; y’know hallucinations and stuff.

        • OppressedMass

          This is true. Very true.

    • mancityRed6

      don’t forget to get your eyes checked.

    • Suttree

      OK! I have insurance and a new PCP! I feel betterer and a bit more relaxed. I woke up to the stupid fucking press conference and got really worried.

    • Zyxomma

      I have a colonoscopy scheduled 10 days from now. I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, so it’s all good.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Look we can add 4000+ comments but this is all you should say and maybe this should be the only response to whatever debate about the ACA:
    https://scontent-ams3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15978113_1496024007077763_431287344290423117_n.jpg?oh=0876b6ddc33407ce5d4463b830a01377&oe=596B693E

    • efoveks

      Oh My Fucking God…. WOW!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I am afraid that this is a major problem.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        yup. But you can be that difference. Look, I won’t go into any form of telling what people should do but I do know everybody can do some really easy things. Do some work in your community. Go to the animal shelter and ask if they need help letting the dogs out. I alk several dogs. Have some time to talk to someone when he speaks to you or speak to someone when he or she looks like he needs a talk. Give that dollar to that homeless person. He might buy drugs. He might not, don’t judge and if you really case about that, talk to that person instead of ignoring them.

        It’s really simple if you think about it. And although many might not join you, in the end the majority wins.

        • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

          I mean this respectfully, because I agree with much of what you’ve said, and I hope that comes across. I’m concerned about communication, tho, so I’m replying.
          ….. You’ve written, “Look, I won’t go into any form of telling what people should do” — and then you do: “but I do know everybody can do some really easy things.”
          ….. Even tho your motivation is ethical and excellent, the approach is no different from that of a GOPper who says, “Everybody can [do x, y, and z], which is why government shouldn’t provide healthcare, infrastructure, education, etc.”
          ….. I think we stand a better chance of keeping this shitty agenda in check — or, of regaining Congress — if we’re very deliberate in our communications and if we don’t adopt their “should” approach. We’re dealing with people (not just the admin but Dump supporters) who have radically different definitions of “personal responsibility,” “civic responsibility,” and “basic morality”; any communication with them is going to be exceptionally difficult.
          …. Again, I offer this with respect, and I hope I haven’t erred by replying.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I see your point and I see how a GOPer could take advantage of such a point of view. It’s a rather difficult subject i guess. And no you haven’t erred. ;)

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Empathy? Sorry, I don’t do empathy. Trying’ to Make America Great Again over here.

    • mailman27

      She seems…nice?

  • Jgb979

    So the basic framework of Obamacare: just objectively worse.

    Glad this is what they had SIXTY repeal votes over the past 8 years over. Replacing “insurance” with “money to buy insurance”.

    My only takeaway from all of this is knowing the Republican house is such a disaster fuck it shouldn’t get past the FREEDOOOOM caucus

    • efoveks

      Now that they are not protected by Bamz’s veto pen, we’ll see what these GOPee’rs are really made of…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I’m almost afraid to find out. Careful what you wish for.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      My Freeedum Caucus loving Congresstwit thinks it’s awesome because he says:
      “Obamacare is in a death spiral. We need affordability, better access and more choices; all while ensuring a smooth transition to a better reality. Options are pouring out from the GOP to help with this desperately needed rescue mission for health care in America.”
      I wonder who wrote that for him.

  • snark-lurker

    way OT is saw a chick peel a banana from the “wrong” end, i tried it, i been doing wrong

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I goggled it. Son of a bitch. Who knew?

      • therblig

        “Teach the controversy” – Kirk Cameron

      • snark-lurker

        i really is better backwards

    • aureolaborealis

      I believe that’s how the other great apes and the simians peel bananas. We humans somehow lost our way.

    • Laffing Crow

      I learn something new here every single day. An amazing amount of it is actually useful.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    The ACA had some problems for younger middle class healthy people. They didn’t get the subsidy, and ended up with high deductible plans that they essentially couldn’t use.
    Instead of fixing the problem for everyone they amend it at the expense of the pohrs. Republicans are stuck between their rich donors, and the populist voters, who love them some socialism, just not for people with brown skin,
    Ok, another Wonkette rant. WTF is the matter with these rich Republicans? Don’t they fcuking have enough? I pay 25% of my income in Fed and State taxes, and I live on a pension. Fcuking greedheads.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Last year 20% of my pay went to taxes and another 10% went for my Obamacare. 30% of my pay. And no, I didn’t get a refund, either. I’m one of those who fell into that high-deductible/no subsidy gap. And I’m STILL fucking happy with Obamacare!!!

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I don’t normally complain because I feel it’s my duty as a citizen. It’s the unfairness of the system that bugs me. I really hate people who rob from the poor to give to the rich.
        I am extremely lucky to have the gubt agency I retired from pay for part of my health insurance. However, the insurance goes up each year, and my income doesn’t. That could eventually be a problem.

    • doktorzoom

      I don’t know if you’re just so angry you’re transposing letters, but if it helps with your completely justified rage, you can say “fucking” here.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        It’s a thing with me. I’m not sure why. My upbringing makes it tough to say or especially write THAT WORD. I’m from the Soap In Your Mouth Generation, is probably the reason. My language has deteriorated considerably since the election
        It is, however, an honor and a privilege to hear from the great and scholarly Dok.

        • doktorzoom

          Then enjoy your self-imposed limits as you will :) Just wanted to assure you the only forbidden words here are “anned-cay ams-clay.”

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            You monster!!!! Seafood kills!!!!

          • Querolous

            ou-yay onster-may!

    • theCryptofishist

      I think it’s a case of “you can never get enough of what you don’t really want” using moneyz with lots of zeroes to fill in all the holes in their life. I know, typical libtart.

    • Historicat

      It’s not enough that I much; other people should not have enough. Otherwise, how will I be able to look down upon them properly?

  • mancityRed6

    Oh Carol. You poor, poor girl.

    • If she’s anything like Janet from accounting, she can get fucked

      • mancityRed6

        I don’t know Carol, so I didn’t want to go that far.
        But I guess since he’s not on Fox, Carol just doesn’t know him.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I have a theory about why the members of the republican side of congress act like this, and it’s this: they are all rich, or at least quite well-off, and they literally do not understand poverty. If you tell them there are people who can’t afford to take their kids to McDonald’s they will stare at you and then scoff, saying things like “They can’t afford a 50-cent hamburger? bullshit.” And if you try to explain to them that yes, there actually are people who can’t afford McDonald’s, they double down. The whole concept just eludes them. I live in a small town where the local schools not only offer free lunch and breakfast, they send home food for weekends because otherwise the kids won’t eat from Friday lunch until Monday breakfast. Kids like that dread snow days – and just imagine being a child who didn’t want a snow day! – because they know they’ll be hungry until they go back to school. These people want to cut free lunches and breakfasts because . . . well, just because reasons, okay? While I literally cannot wrap my head around the concept of a well-fed adult being smugly okay with the thought of children going hungry, they appear not to be able to wrap their heads around the entire concept that “hurting children = bad.” And so they’re perfectly okay with the idea of offering “tax cuts” to offset the costs of insurance, without understanding at all that the people who need the ACA and Medicaid expansions the most are the same people they whine about, who don’t pay taxes because they are literally too poor to do so. Makes me fuckin’ stabby and shouty. /rant over

    • smitallica

      Yep. Or, as Chaffetz’s cell phone comment makes clear, they think they’re poor simply because they’ve chosen to buy the wrong things.

      • writersbloc

        People are terrible with money though #farmville

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Also too, that cell phones, and other modern electronic devices, are simply luxury items. Try asking poor people what it’s like to apply for a job without either a computer or telephone.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Why the fuck does he think they all have iPhones phones or any other kind of phone?

        • theCryptofishist

          So, is it possible to somehow make them budget, so they see it’s impossible? I am reminded of a very, very early computer game “Hamerabi” (or that spelled right) where you had to run your empire with grain and disease and all that. I know, it would just become some sort of grizzly fad to make your poors dies of dysnetary on the road to Oregon.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      My brother makes several hundred thousand dollars a year and owns four houses.

      He considers himself to be middle class… because lots of his friends are better off than he is.

      • Shibusa

        Trump voter? (Most dudes who make piles of $ are!)

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Oh yes…he started as his state’s co-chair of the Carly for Pres nightmare, then switched to Li’l Marco, then someone else, and finally voted for the Orange Shitlord.

          And in the middle of all of that conscienceless twisting, still had the fucking nerve to try to lecture me from his high horse about how HRC did crimey stuff with classified data and so he could never vote for her because she had emails.

          • Shibusa

            I have one of those, too–my surgeon bro, who also still believes BHO was born in Kenya, and is also just as stupid as Palin because of that time he said he’d been to 57 states.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Mine actually brought up the exaggeration about being under fire in Bosnia as a reason to now and forever call Hillz a liar, and the “clinging to their guns and religion” comment to prove the Bamz didn’t love Amurka.

            Strangely, he’s very forgiving of every “verbal goof” ever committed by a right-winger, and bleats on about “context” and “perspective” until I want to hit him with a bookend.

          • Shibusa

            These Trump-kins can really pretzel their thinking when needed.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I remember when they opened a new Mercedes dealership in Newport Beach a reporter went there and asked the customers if they were rich. Not one of them admitted to it, and every one of them said they were “comfortable.”

        • theCryptofishist

          Newport Beach? Home of the Breakers. Yeah, they’re just getting by.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Poor things. Not one of them has an extra dollar.

          • Zyxomma

            Wrong Newport. Newport Beach is on the other coast; Newport RI is off an the east coast. That’s home of The Breakers et al.

          • theCryptofishist

            Ooops. *bglushes*

    • data_ninja

      I can confirm this theory with an anecdote. I had dinner with a coworker who came from money, as did their spouse (I can only assume there was moeny before that as well). At lunch one time, they asked me honestly about kids needing breakfast at schools, because they may not have eaten breakfast earlier or dinner the night before. I assured them that it was a real thing, that some families were just not able to make ends meet, and that school may be the only time the child eats that day.

      I give my coworker credit for asking if this was an actual thing, rather than shaking it off as a rumor or something.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Not saying this against your friends but the people who don’t understand that people can be hungry are willfully ignorant. It does not take that much effort to find a study or report somewhere that discusses hunger in the US. Not to mention the many charities that focus on that exact issue.

        • data_ninja

          Won’t disagree with your statement there. I was pretty floored by the question myself at the time. But also, the willingness to ask rather than blindly assume otherwise shows awareness of lack of knowledge, and maybe even an attempt to try and understand things better. That’s a step in the right direction I think. It’s the people that listen to nothing but fox noise and refuse to believe anything outisde that bubble are the worrisome ones, regardless of social status.

    • Erala Contratista

      Just finished “A Square Meal” (don’t have author, sorry). Food and eating during the Depression. New book. It is deja vu all over again, too

      We have been here before. It will make you sit up all right.

      • theCryptofishist

        I think I heard the Terry Gross interview on that. It was interesting.

    • Persistent Demme

      My elderly aunt (Democrat), had just stayed with some other relatives (conservative Goopers).
      She incredulously and breathlessly told me that she was dumbfounded at how little they cared about anyone else.
      “They. Just. Don’t. Care,” she said.
      Willful ignorance combines with greed and selfishness to make the perfect T***p supporter.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I recollect being taught in skool that is called “Social Darwinism.” The rich reconcile their good luck at being born rich with any guilt about it by willfully ignoring poor people and telling themselves that they deserve to be rich because they are just better than poors.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Probably call themselves “Christians”, too.

        • Persistent Demme

          It’s even more complicated than that!
          They are orthodox Jews.
          I want to ask: “what’s it like working with white supremacists?”
          A president who doesn’t even recognize the holocaust?
          Will he have a Passover Seder? (Obama did.)
          Who’s supporters think they have “bigot immunity” and do things like desecrate the cemetery where YOUR MOTHER IS BURIED!!
          But no, fuck ’em!

          • Charlotteopaul

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl482c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !dl482c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs772ShopUltimateGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl482c:….,….

    • Puck

      Yep. Always makes me think of the mom in Arrested Development when asked about the price of a banana, thinking its something like $10. These people just have no clue.

    • SayItWithOtters

      It would be helpful to our country if the people running it weren’t so tragically sheltered.

    • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

      This.
      And: Don’t underestimate the massive interior rot (ethical, psychological) that makes them refuse to acknowledge facts that would lead to fruitful governance. These people are masters of denial, which is a freaky and fucked-up thing to witness first-hand (said the narcissist’s daughter):
      —–> this is the family’s actual income, and they spend it all on rent, utilities, and food (“then they should get better-paying jobs”)
      —–> here’s the data on the actual jobs available to people in this region; none pay more (“then they should expand their job-search area”)
      —–> here’s the data on what commuting costs — they can’t afford it (“then they should acquire more skills in order to earn more”)
      —–> here’s the data on the cost of education — they can’t afford it (“then they should get help from local charities”)
      —–> local charities are stretched thin because poverty is at a 50-year high, due to the GOP-led deregulation that caused a global financial crisis, plus that crisis came on top of a wealth gap created by a regressive tax code (“lots of other denial”)

      Denial has its place in early childhood, as a coping mechanism against obstacles that threaten survival. It serves no useful function in adult life — and it creates disaster in legislatures.

  • azeyote

    Surprise !

  • RobKanC

    The only successful GOP healthcare plan would include quotas about how many poors should die every year.

    • therblig

      quotas? or bonuses?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They can fine-tune it later.

  • smitallica

    Don’t be too hard on the GOP. They’ve only had seven short years to come up with a plan. I mean, it’s not like we went to the moon or could’ve won World War II twice in that amount of time. Nobody knew healthcare was this complicated!

  • puredog

    That Cooke-Bannon Tweet-swap is priceless.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    “Open up your reading habits”, indeed. Don’t get mired in existing doctrine like some kind of Catholic.

    • timpundit

      You’re beautiful, man.

  • Swampay

    But but but Obama LIED when he said you could keep your insurance and your doctor! I had some really crappy cheap insurance that didn’t really cover anything, now I have to have REAL insurance that covers stuff and it costs money! OBAMA LIED!

    And the Republican plan does too cover everybody, just like everybody has equal rights to buy a $100,000 Mercedes if you have $100,000.

    • Querolous

      The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
      Anatole France, The Red Lily, 1894, chapter 7

  • I wonder if Carol is any relation to Steve. Oh, and as a word nerd, I can’t take my eyes off “Open your reading habits up to those with whom you would naturally dismiss.” That’s a mighty fine trainwreck right there.

    • Claire

      Seriously. I hope she doesn’t teach English.

      • She’s a MA Catholic MOM, not teacher

        • therblig

          AND the author of “A Handshake from Heaven”

          shake, not job. you filthy animals.

        • Red Bird Ω

          So in her eyes, she’s perfect.

        • Persistent Demme

          I see some terrible home-schooling or abusive nuns here.

    • mailman27

      Hey, I like gettin together with a few friends to dismiss stuff.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    When was the last time Republicans rolled out a big piece of legislation that helped the country and it’s citizens? Eisenhauer’s national highway system? All I can think of is wars and tax cuts.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Medicare Part D. The one with the doughnut hole. Because doughnuts.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Mmmmm, donuts…

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Nixon’s EPA.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    This is fiscally irresponsible. Pass it on.

  • Raan

    Internet Alert: Obamacare vs. Trumpcare becoming a meme in the style of “you vs. the guy she told you not to worry about”.

    http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/obamacare-vs-gop-replacement/photos
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db1f694ee18048eb5c4ec9239404a817324f5c18db5b0206232681e13ebe8b28.png

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    You people are going to get so sick, you’re going to get sick of all the sickness!

    Although Dok doesn’t mention it in his article, one of the unpopular provisions doesn’t kick in until 2020. I’m going to guess that will be right after November .9, 2020. The beauty of that is that Obama/Democrats will get the blame regardless of who wins the WH in 2020.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I have to admire CW Cooke’s dry humor. “MACatholicmom” sounds like a “Dear Shitferbrains” contender in the making.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Our forefathers created a great country! To honor them, we are going back to Healthcare from 1776!

    • MOHR LEECHES FOR ALL!

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Trump Leeches. The best leeches!

        • theCryptofishist

          The suckiest leeches! These leeches will be taking out so much blood, bigly. They will swell like the empty head of a billionaire narcissist.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            They suck so well, you’ll be tired of bleeding!

    • Longstreet63

      Sorry, leeches are not covered. Blue mass is, but not mercury poisoning. Like that’s even a thing.
      Also, only one trepanning. Per calendar year.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Where on the actuarial tables are fresh air and sunshine? I don’t know if I will be able to afford those under the new plan, even though Dr. Melania has prescribed it for ailments such as la grippe, quinsy and gout.

        • theCryptofishist

          I thought you got quinsy from eating quinces. And I’ve never even seen a quince, so I was safe.
          *glum*

        • Longstreet63

          Prescription only. You’ll need a doctor visit. And many many tests.

      • theCryptofishist

        But if I have two, I’ll get a nice breezeway and keep my head from overheating!

    • Hardly Ideal

      You’d think that reducing medical knowledge to just four humors would be great, but just try and balance those fuckers.

  • Red Bird Ω

    I’ve given up on this nonsense. The office Trumpkin was announcing to everyone that Trump is the cause of EXXON’s new investment in oil production along the Gulf Coast. Except that is began in 2013. When I mentioned that he said sarcastically, “yeah this was all Obama’s doing”.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Alt facts, baby!

  • marxalot

    They’re trying to go after the Poors and the Blahs and the Takers, and they’re trying to go after me, and they’ll end up killing my straight, white, Catholic, engineer, entrepreneur brother.

    • Yr. Gma

      They are going after the sick because Jesus really hated all those pustular vermin who…Oh, wait. I guess they worship an Alternative Jesus.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Not if the Resistance can help it. [Redacted] lit on fire [erased] up the butt [paper mangled] an entire set of fine china [obscured by vodka spill], with votes.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      But did we really want a competent, qualified woman to be running the country? Don’t you find it much more exciting with an incompetent idiot as president, and a looney Congress? It’s like a reality TV show that will affect EVERYONE!

    • Hardly Ideal

      Y’know what they say: You can’t make an omelette without killin’ a few people.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Well, as a small business owner (for now anyway), nothing kills a small business or a dream of having a small business like not being able to afford health insurance. Fuck you, Paul Ryan, you slimy piece of whale snot.

    • theCryptofishist

      Nice description! Thank you. (Total non-snark. I only wish you had more invective. Whale snot is so good.)

  • Shibusa
    • Hardly Ideal

      I heard on the radio a month or so ago that a fair number of people who voted for Obama twice and like their Obamacare voted for Trump.

      The last election killed my faith in democracy. That right there is just a double-tap, to borrow from Zombieland parlance.

  • mailman27

    I personally don’t much care if people “hate” the mandate-that’s how insurance works. I’m required to have car insurance even though I haven’t made a claim against my car insurance for 35 years. Its been a one-way transfer of money. If the insurance cos only wrote policies for people who crashed their cars all the time, the whole system would collapse overnight. It’s how the whole thing works.

    • doktorzoom

      That’s socialism!

      • HooverVilles

        And dsylexic doG knows we can’t have that!

    • BeachBum

      Its scary amazing what people don’t know that is a part of their every day life.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    The New ACA! Now with maximum malevolence!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      But I thought Ryan/Trump Couponcare would mean I got lots of coupons for 20% of on my next prostate exam, a free night if I stay for a week at a Trump Hotel, discounts on Ivanka wear at Nordstrom and1/2 off on the filing fee for my bankruptcy.

      • theCryptofishist

        We should pool our vouchers and have Ryan/Trump Grouponcare.

        Trump is holding out for GroponCare.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Grouponcare sound a little too socialistic.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m so angry over this. Why do people keep voting for these assholes?? I can’t even today.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Because EMAILS!

        • Marceline

          Both sides are the same, doncha know?

          (Seriously, I so much want to find someone who says that and throat punch them right now.)

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            They don’t. More Dems vote than Repubs. But gerrymandering means we are not represented in proportion of our votes.

          • HooverVilles

            That false equivalency really is annoying. Gotta luv them poorly edjumacated.

        • HooverVilles

          And noun verb Benghazi!

      • HooverVilles
        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Lol I swear I need this every day all day from now until Trumpkins is impeached.

          • HooverVilles

            I know. Sigh!

    • HooverVilles

      Um, unfortunately I don’t think the GOTP has maximized the malevolence. Not yet.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “American Health Care Act.”

    Let’s call it “American Corporate Health Entitlement” or ACHE. NAH. It’s TrumpCare.

    REPEAL AND REPLACE EVERY LAST WORD OF TRUMPCARE ON DAY ONE.

    • Lily412

      I noticed the “ACHA” thing too. So close to being irony.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Obviously will not cover contraceptives or anything related to ladyparts EXCEPT viagara so the women can have congress with the men of Congress.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You know who’s likely to drop their insurance and not buy a new plan within 2 months? People who don’t have that kind of money. And raising the price 30% will not exactly help.

    Oh wait – that’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

    • HooverVilles

      Exactly. Hits nail squarely on the head. It’s not an accident or oversight. It was “intelligently” designed.
      Intelligently designed by the basement cat of course. Chuckle snicker snort.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    That exchange between Twittass and Twittless is priceless.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Did you check the rest of the exchange? She tried to play it off as sarcasm, but the twittosphere ain’t havin’ it.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Lol. Sorry, not buying it. A middle-aged Catholic mother from Massachusetts isn’t doing sarcasm on her Twitter posts. That was clearly her digging into a well of experience to deliver a reprimand in nun speak.

        • BeachBum

          I feel sorry for her dogs.

  • theCryptofishist

    So, page out of the Republican handbook and always refer to it as the “Unaffordable Care Act”?
    I’d like to work death into an alternate alternate name, but “Dying by Inches” isn’t right.

    • Charon_69

      Death by 1000 Cuts?

    • Robyn Ryan

      Patriodeath

  • Mavenmaven

    If people only smeared high end caviar over themselves from childhood, they wouldn’t need all this medical care.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Statistically, that’s strongly associated with autism.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Or, got more in touch with “the power of nature”…

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    We should maybe keep Il Douche in office long enough to veto this craptasic plan.
    Because Pence would sign even the shittiest GOPcare bill in a heartbeat.

    • whitroth

      What we really need is, if they pass it (and that’s *very* much iffy), to make it start taking effect in the next year, *not* over the next four years.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Dems should offer an amendment speeding up implementation, then make much public noise over the GOP’s opposition, with “election year” being the reference point.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    So the “non-mandate” 30% increase in fees works out to be more than the current mandate…way to maths, GOP! Also, fuck you for fucking this up for those who need it most.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The Obamacare mandate is an incentive to buy insurance.
      The non-mandate mandate will do the opposite.
      They truly are “the party of stupid.”

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Exactly! Is there a word for sub-stupid?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Republican.

          • HooverVilles

            Greedy Obstructionist Tea Patriarchs.

        • TootsStansbury

          Alt Stupid?

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            Oooh…I found a bunch :)

            http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/stupid

          • Zyxomma

            Thanks.

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            I figure in this time of stupidity, it might be helpful to have many different words to point out the stupid ;)

      • HooverVilles

        I disagree with this sentence; They truly are “the party of stupid.”

        I think the following is much moar accurate.

        They truly are “the party of stupid greed.”

  • whitroth

    By the way, Krugman is referring to it as Obamacare 0.5….

  • Miles Monroe

    What good does a tax credit do for someone with no taxable income … ?!

    • Robyn Ryan

      Thank you. How does a 9nce a year tax credit buy monthly meds?

      • Longstreet63

        With a flat tax, obviously!

      • Alan

        Go to your veterinarian. They use the exact same drugs from the same factory with a label that says “animal use” and pay only a tiny fraction of the price.

    • stubbornirishlass

      Oh, do not worry about this. The new improved all-GOP government will find a way to squeeze something out of your <$10K annual income. Or that $10 you got from your Grandma. Or your lemonade stand. Then they will give it back to you in the form of a voucher. See? Tax credit! Now, go buy yourself some insurance!

    • Alan

      Let’s them die with freedom?

  • The Wanderer

    I’m not going to non-comment on this. I’m too angry.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Lyin Ryan’s latest Obamacare “replacement”- massive tax cuts for the wealthy, tax increases for the middle class and loss of insurance for 10-20 million poor people, old people and sick people- all with a bunch of crony capitalism in the form of giveaways to the insurance industry. And say goodbye to Medicaid as soon as voters aren’t paying attention after the 2020 election. No wonder they’re afraid to let the CBO score it.
    This is the quintessential GOP shit sandwich- as always with them, the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat…

  • Nick Scroggs

    God I hope that the CIA documents from WikiLeaks are real and have info on these guys, devastating stuff I mean.

  • Run2Live

    Health Savings accounts for poor people are about as helpful as giving cookbooks to starving people.

    • Robyn Ryan

      Bibles to starving orphans.

      • James Lamere

        Mmmm…..Scripture Soup with real chunks of Gospel .

  • Hardly Ideal

    try going 2 a conservative source?

    I’m the editor of National Review Online

    https://www.myinstants.com/instant/edna-hah/

    • Cliff Hendroval

      A thing of beauty.

  • the GOP plan will free insurance companies to charge older enrollees five times as much as they do younger ones

    Cool.

    I call dibs to be CEO of the death panels in these states:
    Tejas
    Oklahoma
    Kansas
    Louisiana
    Kentucky
    Indiana
    Florida, and
    Utah.

  • Garbageman

    Relax! Jason Chaffetz says everyone will be able to afford it just fine! You just might have to give up your iPhone! . . . It really is an amazing time to be alive – or to die from preventable illness!

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jason-chaffetz-iphone-health-care_us_58bea6aae4b09ab537d6a395?

    • whitroth

      How about those of us with “cell phones”, who don’t have “mobile devices”, and ain’t EVER GONNA GET ONE, ESP. an Apple anything?

      • You could probably give up all the lobster you’re getting on food stamps and that big screen TV they’re pretty sure you bought with Obamabucks.

    • Susan Szews

      I thought the Poors only had Obamaphones, though? Someone needs to get their talking points straight.

  • Hardly Ideal

    I heard a congressthing on KPCC earlier saying the bill is only about 100 pages long and written in language the American people could understand.

    Boy, what gave you the idea that the American people would read your bill? What in the devil’s name gave you the impression that the American people read anything?

    • whitroth

      I’ve read that the “average” American reads about 3 books a year. Between me, my kids, and my friends, thousands of Americans don’t read one a year.

      • Cliff Hendroval

        Including the president*.

      • LadyLaz

        Me too. We read voraciously

  • Blanche Beecham

    GOP same ol’, same ol’ – Piss on our heads and tell us it’s raining.

    • whitroth

      But of course. I mean, you do realize you’re a pee-on, right? Gotta know our place….

    • Grumpy Twat

      Is that the trickle-down effect?

      • HooverVilles

        Is that the trickle tinkle-down effect?
        There, that’s MOAR betterer IMHO.

  • TrixieB (formerly Grrrr…)

    Silly pipples! Life so much easier when you remember ORDTLOAF (only rich deserve life, oh and fetuses).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7POUtSvs-U

    • Alan

      That was priceless.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    So… let me get this straight – under the ACA, if I don’t have insurance for more than 3 full months, I pay a one-time fine to the government at tax time, right?

    Under SwampCare, if I have an insurance lapse of two months – if, for example, I’m laid off and can’t afford the COBRA cost while I’m unemployed – when I get a new job, if I get health insurance again, I will be charged 30% extra for the rest of the year?

    And that 30% surcharge will be going right into the insurance company’s pocket?

    But I won’t be fined for not having insurance?

    So, basically, they’re either using my lack of income as an excuse to bulk up insurance company profits by 30%, OR they’re providing me with an incentive to never have insurance ever again, right?

    That seems SMRT.

    • That free market ain’t exactly free, you know.

    • Longstreet63

      Feature, not bug. That would, you see, be a VOLUNTARY exit from the health insurance market, lending support to the idea that people just don’t want government subsidized health care, so why not just get rid of it?

      • HooverVilles

        That is their twisted sorry excuse of logic.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I’m thinkin’ that’s the long-term plan.

    • Alan

      Sell your iPhone.

  • ez

    Wow-weeeee! hey carol bannon @ MAcatholicmom I hope you have some super insurance ’cause Charles Cooke just burned you to everlasting smither-eens!

  • Khavrinen

    “Are you sick of winning yet?”

    Sorry, that’s not covered either.

  • Even considering it came from a National Review guy, that was a pretty epic mic-drop.

    • SayItWithOtters

      MACatholicMom is why we can’t have nice things.

    • HooverVilles

      …epic mic-drop. Yes, except that the poorly educated base that the Greedy Obstructionist Tea Patriarchs have been cultivating as their base won’t see or hear the mic-drop. The belief/reason toggle switch in their brains has been permanently set to belief for most of this poorly educated base. And that goes a long way to explaining why Trump loves the poorly educated.

  • Nena

    Years ago, I think while the ACA was in its early days, I heard a lady call into a radio show about health care. She felt that if a poor gets sick or hurt, they can just go take out a loan for the hospital bill. Problem solved!

    • Susan Szews

      I didn’t realize my mom called into radio shows. I learn something new about her every day.

    • Alan

      That’s got to be the dumbest policy analysis ever.

      • HooverVilles

        Not if you are in the money lending business.

        • Alan

          Nobody is going to lend to someone who can’t pay it back.

          • HooverVilles

            Yes they do. Prior to 2008 a lot of loans/mortgages to people who could not pay the mortgages.
            Payday loans areally everywhere.
            Predatory lending will be even more rampant with the new GOTP in charge.

          • Alan

            Those are very different. No lender can put a lien on your health like they can on real property and floating a week against your next paycheck is very different than years against uncertain income. Poor people don’t have collateral for a personal loan. Predatory lending still assumes a quantifiable probability of profit.

          • Mark Breitinger

            They can offer to break one or both of your legs though…

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    My mom once told me, “Honey, I just can’t afford to be sick right now.” I think see was talking about something other than the Republican plan to make health care the exclusive property of the wealthy though.

    • Sue Erb

      Taking the “affordable” out of the ACA.

      • phoenix00

        “Care” is also a questionable notion at this point.

  • LadyLaz

    Bahahaha ha

  • Amalga

    The Cooke Twitter exchange is priceless.

  • Charlotteopaul

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl482c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !dl482c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs772ShopUltimateGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl482c:….,…..

  • Laffing Crow

    OK, so that was a really good joke our Editrix told on Twatter this morning.

    I am the editor of National Review Online. https://t.co/clzKDvs7do— Rebecca Schoenkopf (@commiegirl1) March 8, 2017

  • phoenix00

    This is simply Ryan trying to play the middle between the populist “but people will get sick and die!” and the Libertarian “let people get sick and die”. And making noone happy.

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