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I’M FIRED.

If there’s one thing your Wonkette likes, it is trifectaing a crazy long shot. It hasn’t worked yet, and that’s not stopping us now.

We’ve already said Donald Trump would resign within three months, which gives us till April 20 to be totally psychic. (Where did we say it? We don’t know. Probably to our husband, with drinks in us, but we definitely did.) Now it is time to put down our marker for “Will Donald Trump fire FBI Director James Comey?” — a question that in other administrations would be the longest of long shots, but now probably has one to two odds.

Over the weekend, you will remember, Donald Trump had what could only have been a series of small strokes while sitting on the pooper. That is when he accused Barack Obama of doing a “wire tapp” (sic) to him. This gave us the perfect opportunity to go back over a few Fast Facts regarding FISA courts, and reports that a FISA judge had okayed a warrant. (N.B.: Since Donald Trump conflated a FISA warrant with “wire tapping,” we did too. Also, we don’t really know the difference between “wire taps” and other data collection, so that’s on us.)

James Comey reportedly did not take well to being accused of illegally tapping the president’s phones. (If the FBI did have a FISA warrant, it would have been legally procured by putting evidence before a judge.) He reportedly demanded that the Department of Justice deny President Trump’s tweets. But wouldn’t you know it? He just hasn’t had any luck in getting the DOJ to call the president a liar!

(Those cursed with a long memory may remember the week before the election, when rogue FBIers in the New York office were telling Rudy Giuliani and Blackwater’s Erik Prince that both Anthony Weiner and Hillary Clinton were going to be arrested before Election Day. You won’t remember Comey pushing back against that, because I guess you must just have amnesia.)

That was when we were like “oh ho ho, bet Trump fires James Comey LOL.” Then we watched literally the whole season of NBC’s “The Good Place,” and chased it down with Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. One was smart and hilarious. The other was stupid and hilarious. It was a really good Sunday!

Today? Comes news that President Trump maintains “full confidence” in Comey despite their “friction.” (Sexy.) Here, just look at this confidence!

Asked whether Trump still had confidence in Comey, White House Spokesman Sean Spicer said, “There‚Äôs nothing that I have been told by him that would lead me to believe that anything is different than what it was prior.”

Do you get more full-confidencier than that??? Also, this from a CNN story:

The source added that Comey as of now has no plans to resign.

“Does he know of possibility there might be a confrontation and be fired by the President? Sure,” the source said. “Does he worry about it? No.”

There you have it, Trump is gonna totally Yates Jim Comey, and no, we have no evidence besides “if he does it, we’ll look cool.”

And now it is YOUR OPEN THREAD!

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