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I’M FIRED.

If there’s one thing your Wonkette likes, it is trifectaing a crazy long shot. It hasn’t worked yet, and that’s not stopping us now.

We’ve already said Donald Trump would resign within three months, which gives us till April 20 to be totally psychic. (Where did we say it? We don’t know. Probably to our husband, with drinks in us, but we definitely did.) Now it is time to put down our marker for “Will Donald Trump fire FBI Director James Comey?” — a question that in other administrations would be the longest of long shots, but now probably has one to two odds.

Over the weekend, you will remember, Donald Trump had what could only have been a series of small strokes while sitting on the pooper. That is when he accused Barack Obama of doing a “wire tapp” (sic) to him. This gave us the perfect opportunity to go back over a few Fast Facts regarding FISA courts, and reports that a FISA judge had okayed a warrant. (N.B.: Since Donald Trump conflated a FISA warrant with “wire tapping,” we did too. Also, we don’t really know the difference between “wire taps” and other data collection, so that’s on us.)

James Comey reportedly did not take well to being accused of illegally tapping the president’s phones. (If the FBI did have a FISA warrant, it would have been legally procured by putting evidence before a judge.) He reportedly demanded that the Department of Justice deny President Trump’s tweets. But wouldn’t you know it? He just hasn’t had any luck in getting the DOJ to call the president a liar!

(Those cursed with a long memory may remember the week before the election, when rogue FBIers in the New York office were telling Rudy Giuliani and Blackwater’s Erik Prince that both Anthony Weiner and Hillary Clinton were going to be arrested before Election Day. You won’t remember Comey pushing back against that, because I guess you must just have amnesia.)

That was when we were like “oh ho ho, bet Trump fires James Comey LOL.” Then we watched literally the whole season of NBC’s “The Good Place,” and chased it down with Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. One was smart and hilarious. The other was stupid and hilarious. It was a really good Sunday!

Today? Comes news that President Trump maintains “full confidence” in Comey despite their “friction.” (Sexy.) Here, just look at this confidence!

Asked whether Trump still had confidence in Comey, White House Spokesman Sean Spicer said, “There’s nothing that I have been told by him that would lead me to believe that anything is different than what it was prior.”

Do you get more full-confidencier than that??? Also, this from a CNN story:

The source added that Comey as of now has no plans to resign.

“Does he know of possibility there might be a confrontation and be fired by the President? Sure,” the source said. “Does he worry about it? No.”

There you have it, Trump is gonna totally Yates Jim Comey, and no, we have no evidence besides “if he does it, we’ll look cool.”

And now it is YOUR OPEN THREAD!

Want to help Wonkette spout more nonsense out of thin air? Liar, you do too. Wonkette is ad-free and supported only by crazy people like YOU.

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  • The Wanderer

    Comey AND Sessions. They have wronged The Boss, and must pay.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Dey’ll be sleepin’ wit’ de fishes.

  • Michael R
    • Red Bird Ω

      Funny, his profile recommends you follow Richard Spencer, who willingly calls himself the editor of AltRight..com. But the alt-right isn’t a white supremacist group.

    • The Wanderer

      It’s come back up.

  • Red Bird Ω

    I was hoping for Sessions to be gone first but I’ll take Comey.

    • BadKitty904

      And before he goes, I hope Comey releases and posts everything he’s got in his secret files…

      • Red Bird Ω

        Me also too. I would seriously send him a nice fruit basket for that.

        • BadKitty904

          If ya gotta go down in flames, Jim, why go alone…

        • Blackest Noobs

          or a bucket of the Colonel’s finest fried chicken.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            or a nice pizza from the basement….

          • FlownΩver

            Meh. Stillgets a basket of lightly salted poisoned rat dicks from FO. There’s no make good for 11/8.

  • msanthropesmr
    • Boscoe

      Who knew??

      • RC

        I hate that. Just because he’s a dumb ass doesn’t mean the rest of us are.

      • HooverVilles

        Eggsactly!!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I think they should refuse to even hold a hearing on anyone he nominates for any position, on the grounds that the impeachment will just mean they’ll have to do it all over again anyway.

  • Logic of Color

    I have a goal. This goal is to be insulted by a president of the United States. I think Twitter and Trump will give me the best possible shot at this. Wish me luck.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      The trick is to make him think you’re someone people might know about and listen to.

      • Crank Tango

        So go with a variation on Skoal Rebel, something like that?

  • bookish
    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      … imagine if China attacked a U.S. vessel during one of Trump’s emotional jags…

      Ironically I don’t think this would happen. The crazy is so palpable that even North Korea wouldn’t risk a confrontation because of the likely disproportionate response.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Also, and, too!

    Grassley probes FBI’s ties to British spy who investigated Trump

    Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) has opened an inquiry into allegations the FBI worked with the British spy who authored a controversial opposition research dossier on President Trump during the 2016 election.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/322553-grassley-probes-fbis-ties-to-british-spy-who-investigated-trump

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      There’s actually no one on the Hill grosser than Grassley…

      • Sardonicuss

        Grossley..

      • FlownΩver

        chickenthief, what about your main man? You gone take this lyin’ down?

    • Rick Hill

      I’m certain the FBI has been dusting off all their little files on these folks who want to look at the FBI’s activities.

    • DahBoner

      ASSUME SPY EATING COTTAGE PIE

  • Sardonicuss

    Monday: Saturday night.massacre Tuesday: Saturday night massacre….every day gets a Saturday Night massacre!
    Except for Saturday because that is bat shit twit storm day.

    • Boscoe

      It’s how he unwinds from all that strenuous golfing.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        I’m still happy he’s golfing instead of destroying the country. Now if we could get him to live there 24/7 and away from the phones…

        • FlownΩver

          Patience, my young padawan…

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    It’s fine journalism like this “Over the weekend, you will remember, Donald Trump had what could only have been a series of small strokes while sitting on the pooper” that keeps me coming back :) OMG…crying laughing…thanks!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Much as I detest Comey, it is the thinking about his replacement that disgusts me most…

    • Red Bird Ω

      So far, the replacements have been an improvement. Flynn’s replacement is not insane. The new nom for Labor is less corrupt. Meh.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Yeah, that’s a gov. agency I would not want manipulated by Trump.

      • RC

        ditto, better the devil you know

    • clubseal

      I hear McGruff the Crime Dog is on the shortlist.

  • DahBoner
    • Shoto

      The numbers net out. Science Fact.

  • RC

    Well, since this is the open thread. Lately I’ve seen a few snide remarks about the Southern Poverty Law Center and not by the rabid right about how they are not a reliable source anymore. So is this righty bullshit that’s spreading beyond their boarders or something to it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Kurt Eichenwald, in the course of condemning Milo’s flirtation with sexual abuse of children, felt the need to say that the leader of the vermin who caused him to go into convulsions in front of his family had some good points about ‘PC culture’. They have the children of the press so overtrained that they’re not even thinking about what comes out of them any more as long as someone in their ecosystem says it first. And remember, that nice man from eBay bought Glenn Greenwald a Pulitzer…

  • canes_pugnaces

    Perhaps when he fires Comey he can promote poor Ben Carson who announced slaves were immigrants who came willingly in slave ships to work for even less. He knows this because God told him. Not sure the union is going to make through this.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      I am frankly amazed it’s lasted this long. I was figuring the country would implode by February.

  • bookish

    https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-eight-power-centers-of-the-trump-administration/

    Indeed, Trump’s administration has at least eight major factions, which has become clear based on statements and decisions by his advisers since the November election but also confirmed by interviews with veteran Washington figures who are dealing with his team. And to understand what is happening and will happen in this administration, it is crucial to understand these power centers, which are cooperating but also competing with one another.

    • Jamoche

      So he’s set it up the way Ayn Rand disciple Eddie Lampert set up Sears?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      The “McCain wing” looks pretty fucking mean, while the Bannon & Pence wings look like a combination of vacant and rabid.

  • Little Lulu Ω
  • Rick Hill

    I am wondering at what point the people in his cabinet start wanting to spend more time with their family. Not wanting to be too close to this madman, is why.

    • Crank Tango

      Can you imagine how terrible their families all must be?

    • RC

      we should have a pool on who goes next. I’ve got Spicer

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        AOT,K.

        • bupkus23

          Gawd, how I wish….

      • Crank Tango

        Yeah I was thinking Bannon first, but now it looks like there will be a few heads before the GOP moneymen have had enough.

        • JMP

          While Bannon, being an actual Nazi, is the one I most want to see gone, he seems to be the non-relative advisor the idiot trusts the most, so I’m afraid he’ll probably be around for a while.

          • Jamoche

            Yeah, Trump is going to cling to Bannon like a security blanket as his cocoon gets smaller and smaller.

          • Crank Tango

            In a way that’s good since it might keep the GOP from stepping in and adulting. If they can even do that anymore.

          • Logic of Color

            Well, if Trump is made to look like a fool (hard not to grin while typing that) by this wiretap story, he may blame Brietbart and Bannon by extension.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        The poll says Priebus….

      • geoffalnutt

        I think it’s gonna be Rancid Preenus.

        • Logic of Color

          Prince Reebus?

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        Ima take Mattis, I imagine he is about 3 blinks from going full on R Lee Ermey on von Clownstick’s orange ass.

        • RC

          I wouldn’t mind losing if that happened.

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            I just hope it happens in public. To be a fly on the wall when he tells Donny to unfuck himself.

          • RC

            would be assume, especially if he calls him a chicken hawk and several other words denoting his stupid ass bone spurs and his lack of military service.

      • shastakoala

        I think Melania’s digging a tunnel as we speak.

      • rebecca

        Priebus.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I call Kellyanne. What good is she anymore? She didn’t even get her own skit on SNL this weekend.

      • Raan

        Put me down for Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. I have a funny feeling this whole Russia business isn’t going to be deflected anytime soon.

      • Eo Raptor

        Reince. He looks like a pretty good scapegoat.

        • RC

          I was listening to several podcasts yesterday so I don’t remember who said this but their conjecture is that Reince is the only thing that’s keeping the vulgarian even close to stable because he’s chief of staff and can mitigate some of the crazy. If he goes and this person is right…..well hard to see how it gets worse than this but apparently we may find out.

    • JMP

      And it’s no wonder that he can’t even find anyone willing to be nominated for any of the ~500 lower-level appointed positions sitting vacant under Donald.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        ‘So, are you interested in a position as…’
        ‘NO! Are you INSANE?’

        • Pinkham’s Law

          “DUH! You know who I work for!”

      • Logic of Color

        So you’re saying the white house is hiring? How are the schools in DC?

    • Shoto

      Tillerson needs to get his Exxon-Russia job done before he bails. Priorities, right?

  • I resign at 4:20 every Saturday, Sunday, and most holidays.

  • snark-lurker

    SIDEBOOB!!!111!!

  • Little Lulu Ω
  • Markuserektus
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’ve watched this about 2 dozen times. It cracks me the fuck up.

  • shivaskeeper

    If the FBI did any sort of data collection on DJT or his campaign staff it was done legally. The FISA court would have to think something we there or no warrant would be granted. There is no guarantee that they actually collected anything actionable or that would require further investigation.

    If Comey does get fired by DJT, DJT better damn well be sure of what, if anything, was collected and what is being done with it.

    I’m not saying Comey would suddenly lose any semblance of professionalism he has left, since he’s shown a willingness to lose it when it’s convenient, but I don’t think he’d just walk out the door quietly. His career would be over and the Wingnut Welfare circuit probably wouldn’t help him.

    • Anna Rompage

      He is known to be a maverick!

    • Logic of Color

      Once Trump goes to shit to the point where the Pubs turn on him (just a matter of time) the Wingnut parade will take him in. Prolly.

  • clubseal

    FISA: With rubberstampers like these, who needs a Constitution?

  • Liberal Fascist Ron

    Interesting day Up Here. Beautiful weather, almost as if February came back. Got my minion cosplay about 95% done (paint’s drying on the goggles), the puppet for Godspell is 85% done (have to finish the legs), and only have a couple of second-degree burns from the hot glue gun. I think I shall treat myself to mac and cheese tonight. It’s a mac and cheese sort of day.

  • bookish
  • Sardonicuss

    It is 90 damn degrees!
    3 months without running electric heat (propane wall heater sufficed) on the rare occasions it got cold….while narrowly avoiding turning on the AC numerous times.
    So March is going to be the new AC turn on month and my electric bill will double for the next 7 months.
    Damn climate change hoax.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      It’s such an effective hoax I may need THREE pairs of sandals to get me through the warm weather this year.

    • OneYieldRegular

      It is freezing in Northern California, and all of the previously parched land appears to be made of water.

      • Sardonicuss

        The bad thing is, it will be freezing here by 11 tonight so a 60 degree drop in a day….and not the first time this winter. (It was 100 here a couple of weeks ago..)The trees are leafed out and are going to get hurt….bee’s ect….

        • Suttree

          What state are you in? A few days ago here in Jersey it was 68 as a high. It dropped down to 17 for a low two days later. It snowed heavy once this winter for a total of 10 inches. Two years ago we got dumped on feet at a time.

    • FlownΩver

      Tornado watch for LFK. Good thing I relocated that basement from Comet Ping Pong.

      • Sardonicuss

        Winds are shifting from south to north sometime this evening..so damn sure enough energy for a nado or two…

  • Blackest Noobs

    when shall the nation stop listening to Little President Trump who keeps fucking crying fucking WOLF?

    WHEN GODDAMN IT WHEN?!?

    • Martini Ambassador

      Hey, I’m still working on the case of the 3-5 million illegals that voted for Hillary. Who can keep up?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      It’s already happened. Mostly over last weekend everyone was just WTF. And went back to polishing their guns or going to the zoo or not immediately insisting to investigate the claims of a totally believable POTUS.

      The shark may have been jumped.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Hey, if I went to the zoo this weekend am I now part of the problem? In other words, zoo libelzzzz

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The Boy Who Cried Not-Wolf!……

  • Suttree

    We’ve already said Donald Trump would resign within three months, which gives us till April 20 to be totally psychic.

    Hitler’s birthday is a perfect day for that!

    • puredog

      Becca, did you *plan* that for 4/20?

  • bookish

    HUD employees have a blessed day.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/03/ben-carson-makes-hud-employees-take-the-niceness-pledge.html
    Then, things got weird. Per the Washington Post:

    At one point, Carson walked the audience through his “THINK BIG” philosophy to “unleash potential,” the topic of one of his several books. “T is for talent, which God gave to every person,” he began, going on to assign a principle to each letter.

    In another instance, Carson asked those in attendance to raise their hands to “take the niceness pledge.” “Just raise your hand, everybody raise your hand,” he said, as the staff obeyed. “Now what did you just pledge to do? Be nice to every single person you encounter for one week, including your spouse!”

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-housing-idUSKBN16C0JG

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Comey is so gone his shadow hasn’t made it out the door yet. So … who will Duh Fur-Hair nominate to take his place.

    Sheriff Joe Clark, or
    Sheriff Chuck Norris, or
    Sheriff Wyatt Earp (who he’s heard good things about), or
    Ivanka

    • Clyde Barrow

      New FBI director Kid Rock is going to turn the FBI into a proper muscle agency for der Trumpenführer.

    • DahBoner

      My money is on Joe Arpaio, the biggest, fattest racist of them all

    • Sandy Beaches

      Please please tell me that the head of the fbi has to actually be in the fbi

    • Tallmutha

      I think you mean Sheriff David Clarke. Joe Clark was the principal who whupped chucklebrained kids upside the head (with love) until they straightened the fuck up.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Yikes! And thanks.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Rudy

      • FlownΩver

        Roo-dee! Roo-dee! Roo-dee! Roo-dee! Roo-dee!

    • Flashman

      He will go with the “central casting” model, so I am betting on Jack Webb or Leonardo diCaprio.

  • Amelia

    I feel like I got all of my saltiness out in this morning’s non-comments and all I have left is sighs.

    Time to go rewatch GBBO until everything’s better.

  • Nyumbu

    uh oh. I remember when George McGovern had full confidence in his running mate, Eagleton, and I remember what happened immediately afterwards. Leaving the phrase “1000%” the only thing anyone remembers about George McGovern.

    • Sardonicuss

      Well, except him being the first actual war hero rat fucked by the Republicans but…

      • yyyaz

        And amplifying the stigma for getting actual treatment for depression to 140db.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Generally one doesn’t *have* to state one’s full confidence in a person who’s doing totally fine. Full confidence is step one on a path that eventually leads to the door and political oblivion.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “I have full confidence” is the political version of “Hold my beer and watch this.”

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I always hear the implied “don’t” in there, as in “I (don’t) have full confidence in Spidey.”

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Too bad, really. Eagleton could’ve produced a note from his doctor saying he wasn’t nuts.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Slaves wuz’ jist’ immigrants also/too….y’all.
    Einstein said, “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” And Ben Carson proves this!

    [Ben Carson Compares Slaves to Immigrants in First HUD Address
    MON, MAR 06

    Secretary Ben Carson made a comparison to slaves coming to the United States as immigrants, saying America was the only country “big enough” to allow them to realize their dreams.]

    Murrika’ just allowed them to realize their dreams.

    Damn! Dumb fucker is …..DUMB!

    http://www.nbcnews.com/video/ben-carson-compares-slaves-to-immigrants-in-first-hud-address-891190851790?cid=sm_npd_ms_tw_lw

    • WotsAllThisThen

      They were pioneers in right to work laws!

    • Jamoche

      SNL’s Weekend Update is hit-or-miss, but this bit on immigration was a hit :

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4PlNQ9Uhzg#t=2m59s

      through the point where Che, who is black, has a show-stopping quip with “At least they had a choice”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Funny, I don’t recall seeing receipts on Ellis Island.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Changing the name of the FBI to the Department of Hillary’s Emails would just be a formality at this point.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I love it when awful people get caught in traps of their own making, and I hope Hillary is somewhere laughing her ass off with industrial size bottles of wine and bowls of popcorn, watching the Boy’s Club eat their own.

    • snark-lurker

      the finish, the final scene, iz gonna be glorious

      • CindyinEncinitas

        But he deserves to go out with a whimper, considering that he is the biggest attention whore evar. He wouldn’t get 5 more minutes on CSPAN7, if it was up to me.

        • snark-lurker

          i wanna see it have a spectacular flame-out

          • Lamashtar

            I would be content with him getting a reality show while he served time in prison.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Oh, you…

    • Logic of Color

      As horrible as 45 is for the world, it’s fun watching him step on his dick over and over again.
      Eh, you know what I mean.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        We’re stuck in this for now. My dark sense of humor is all I have these days.

  • bookish

    http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2017/03/trump-epa-budget-cuts

    Cleanup projects, scientific research, and the office responsible for enforcing air quality standards are all reportedly on the chopping block. Any funding related to climate change is at risk of being zeroed out. The Oregonian has a list of 42 EPA cuts outlined in a leaked version of Trump’s proposed budget. Not all of these cuts will necessarily be enacted by Congress; a few Republicans, including EPA administrator Scott Pruitt himself, have already balked at some of the proposed reductions to state environmental grants. Nevertheless, here’s a selection of just some of what could happen if Trump does get his way:

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Good strategy. Lead-poisoned children are more likely to vote Republican.

    • yyyaz

      We are already to: “It’s so batshit insane that even Scott Pruitt is against it….”

    • FlownΩver

      Replacing bread and circuses with poison and Grand Guignol.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    General John Kelley (Head of Homeland Security) – “Trump wouldn’t have said he was wiretapped if he didn’t have evidence that he had been.”

    Ummm…General Kelley, you do realize that Trump is the same guy who said he had explosive information on Obama’s place of birth, right? Do you remember how that ended?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      And that the USFL could compete head to head with the NFL…

      • LesBontemps

        Also that he has “a very good brain.”.

        • Lambsendbeds

          I’m sure Igor switched it with that Abby Normal brain.

          • schmannity

            EyeGore!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        This is the same guy who claimed that Trump Steaks was still in business, and showed up at a press conference with steaks that had a butcher’s label on them. Trump’s not even a good liar, although he is an extremely prolific one.

        • Undocumented Skwerl!

          I also like the manila folders filled with blank paper at the press conference “divesting” himself of his businesses.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Practice does NOT always make perfect. Who knew?!

      • Thiazin Red

        And that the NFL sent him a letter about how they would lose viewers by having games opposite of the debates.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Can we also get back to the part where we have a shitload of generals running civilian agencies all of a sudden?

    • Jamoche

      Reading conspiracy websites does not count as evidence.

    • Markuserektus

      A.k.a. the Media Manipulator in Chief…

    • Anna Rompage

      Yeah, John Kelly, the guy who’s running the gestapo goon squad that is now detaining & deporting undocumented immigrants who don’t have criminal records…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He explained it’s for their own safety, because 90% of the women get sexually abused. Barf.

        • yyyaz

          No way to prevent abuse, amirite? Shitstains.

      • Pilotshark

        yep, and the one who will watch the Coast Guard lose 1.3 billion dollars and a 500 million dollar ice breaker, that is needed very badly.

        so much for the Military.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Remember when he claimed “bone spurs” to dodge the draft?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Can’t march with bone spurs – you can only play tennis, soccer, and lacrosse.

    • Juan de Fuca

      “An extremely credible source” at that.

      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/232572505238433794

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bannon? Breitbart? SMOTI?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Kelley sure sounds like an idiot in this case.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Or someone who would like to pay off his mortgage before getting fired.

    • goonemeritus

      We are still waiting for his evidence in the Central Park mugging case also too.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I occasionally let in slip my mind in all the chaos of this year that Canada as a country is ridiculously ableist. Cut to me freaking out while completing my visa application (where being committed is the same as being arrested, schizophrenia is associated with violence and grounds to be denied [not that anything I’ve read says whether it has to be yours or a family member’s] and arthritis is the same as measles). I thought Canadians were supposed to be polite, for goodness sake.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Extreme vetting….

    • SmokinGood

      They’ve got to watch out for American “Bad Dudes”, who want to steal their healthcare.

  • Jamoche

    Consumerist does the math: better fuel economy does not make cars too expensive for poor people – https://consumerist.com/2017/03/06/no-improved-gas-mileage-doesnt-put-car-ownership-out-of-reach-for-low-income-americans/#more-10271027

    • yyyaz

      Especially when the rules dictate what you will be producing 3-5 years in the future. Engineering and Design cost money, throwing out their work to start over with new rules costs a lot more.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Dmitry Peskov, spokesman for Russian President Vladimir Putin, told CNN that “hysteria in official Washington and in the American media” is harming relations between the two nations.

    Go fuck yourself.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/06/asia/russia-american-hysteria-hurting-relations/index.html

    • Clyde Barrow

      Did Dmitry make that statement before or after he was threatened with assassination if he didn’t toe the line?

      • Juan de Fuca

        I dunno. Just clicked on the link and the quote above is as far as I got.

        • Sardonicuss

          He may be dead already.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I feel like I read somewhere that 80% of the Russian diplomatic corps has died since Twitler took office. I could be misremembering some of the details.

          • Sardonicuss

            I guess quitting to “spend more time with their families” just wasn’t up to snuff….er…was up to being snuffed.

    • Shoto

      By “harming relations between the two nations” he means “messing up his personal future cashflow.”

    • Logic of Color

      So the Russians are trying to control our media too? Didn’t see that coming.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      CNN immediately ran several pro-Putin stories to avoid losing precious insider stenographic scoops.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Hysteria. Really. Maybe it’s true that Pooty-poot hasn’t actually met Lord Dampnut…

      • Juan de Fuca

        NS,R? Our media is reporting on things being released from our own intel community and Trump is starting another Obama conspiracy theory to change the subject. Almost makes you wonder who’s side Russia and Trump are on.

        LOL. No, it doesn’t. I kid.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Hysteria” Is one of those women’s problems, you know.

    • Perkniticky

      Harming relations between the two nations’ oil extraction industries, they mean.

    • OneYieldRegular

      D’oh. I mean, when you run on a campaign of nothing but sheer hysteria, relations with more than Russia are going to be harmed.

  • Crystalclear12

    This reality show sucks, wake me when they vote off the orange guy.

    • Anna Rompage

      At the rate we’re going, my guess is that he’s gonna have an aneurysm before he’s voted off the island…

      • Crystalclear12

        Oohhh, twist!

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Well, if it’s God’s will…

    • Clyde Barrow

      Wait, don’t change the channel yet….the other contestants are going to cannibalize him. It’ll be fun.

      • Crystalclear12

        humans are disease carriers.

        • RC

          small humans are plague bearers.

        • shastakoala

          Not at 160 degrees.

          • Crystalclear12

            If they don’t rip them apart and consume them on the run it’s not good TV.
            The Walking Dead.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Wake me when that thing on his head goes full Godzilla and starts terrorizing Washington.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    “Good job, Comey.”

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Sardonicuss

      I always wonder about that last one. Almost too cute for reality.

      • Mary Sandoras

        I’m not sure, it could be photoshopped.

        • Sardonicuss

          I would still belly scritch though..

      • Lambsendbeds

        I’m sure the paw over the mouth must be Photoshopped. I don’t think the pup’s arm could bend like that. Really cute, though.

      • Everything about it is fake except the background. That puppy is definitely in the Alps.

        • Sardonicuss

          That explains his expression. He is obviously just burping from high altitude. …Ssucse!

  • aktlib101

    The entire wire-tapp episode is nothing but alt-right strategy to yell “squirrel” and deflect attention from Russia connections. Press should go after the Russian connections even harder. Hope they do.

    • Pilotshark

      that and to not let Sessions get away with LYING to congress.

    • Tallmutha

      I dunno, if I were going to try to distract people’s attention from the Russian connection, I’d try to think of something that didn’t circle right back to the Russian connection.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        But you’re applying logic and “thinking” whereas they apply bullshit and rage. That’s where they unload the fail.

  • Shoto
    • RC

      darling. Love those eyes.

    • Lambsendbeds

      A cameo Scottish Fold kitten ! I’m so jealous! I’ve always wanted a Fold.

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        I always wanted one to complement our La Mancha goats. (No, we didn’t cut their ears off!)

        • Lambsendbeds

          I LOVE LaMancha goats ! I work in the Goat and Sheep barn at the Oakland Zoo. We don’t have any LaManchas, which makes me sad, but I don’t miss not having to answer that question 500 times a day.

    • Jamoche

      Don’t blink!

    • Sardonicuss

      My favorite cat game. There is an old pink panther cartoon where he does it…..except it is a mouse I think..and he may have a hammer that he bonks the Pink Panther with at the end.

    • shastakoala

      So cute.

  • bookish

    Text of Trump revised order on immigration. MArch 6, 2017.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/06/us/politics/trump-executive-order-immigration-text.html

  • Jamoche
    • Edith Prickly
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Go get ’em future POTUS Warren!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Ah, the GOP, always willing to fuck the worker and make his life harder, safe in the knowledge that by the time elections roll around again FAUX will have helped convince them it was Obama and the Demon-craps.

    • SadDemInTex

      We are doomed. It will take a decade to get back all the stuff the GOP is destroying.

      • FlownΩver

        Have they shortened the plutonium half-life that much?

  • snark-lurker

    ?Q: can it get itself out of being potus by claiming bankrupt

    • Shoto

      Hey, it’s always worked before, right?

    • The Wanderer

      Only moral bankruptcy.

      • clubseal

        That line needed a rim shot.

    • OrG

      I’ll allow it.

    • Jm T Bosquesillo

      Will it put on the lotion?

  • Shoto

    The Drumpf thing is out of control. We need to get Batman on the case.

    https://twitter.com/CuteBabyAnimals/status/838479370297606144

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Dawww…he can apprehend my heart any time he wants.

      • clubseal

        “Do I look like a cop to you?”
        *puts on dog cop costume*

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Tiny puppeh paws!!!

  • bookish
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Seth Moulton (D-Awesome) “it’s an extraordinary situation that we have an attorney general who hasn’t resigned after being caught lying in front of a grand jury, so we know we can’t trust him. Then we have a president who is known to be a habitual liar.”

    This is our new normal folks!

    //runs out of room screaming

    • puredog

      Well, it was under oath, but not in front of a grand jury, you wanna pick nits.

  • Rick Hill

    Three months for trump? Not before he uses some of his power to lash out. Maybe Bannon won’t ezzplain what martial law is, to donnie

  • OrG

    I’m not sure “full confidence” is a good thing.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      sportsball coach Rex Ryan nods in agreement from Buffalo.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrdinaryJoe

      Who is that lady with the nice smile?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        The legitimate POTUS.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Seth Moulton needs to be our next president.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I’d settle for Seth Rogen at this point. Even Seth Green. Or that Sethwhatever guy from The Family Guy.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “Full confidence” is what everyone was saying about Flynn before he got shitcanned.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Since this is our OT…I love this.
    https://twitter.com/nycjayjay/status/838862418491162624

    • Edith Prickly

      Oh hell yes.

    • Edith Prickly

      I always wanted to be a Klingon.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I had a crush on Data for a minute.

        • Edith Prickly

          Join the club. ;)

          • CindyinEncinitas

            You too?? Hermana!

      • ViveLaPersistence

        I totally had a thing for Worf.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    I know not everyone around here likes Louise Mensch. However, my husband stumbled across this article last night & it honestly makes a LOT of sense. Blew my fragile little eggshell mind fo’ sho’…Whoa IF true!

    https://patribotics.wordpress.com/2017/02/14/the-carolina-conspiracy-putin-catfished-weiner-louise-mensch/

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    To save his job, Comey presents Donald with a classified copy of People magazine so we can get to the bottom of the Katy Perry/Orlando Bloom breakup.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Prolly includes that NOFORN dish that Katy knows, but Orlando doesn’t.

  • bookish
    • Suttree

      Those millions of dollars a year will be taken from food stamps or HeadStart. No worries.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        Or a couple fewer trips to Mar uh Lego, lol.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Uh oh! That Obamacare replacement, hidden in Geraldo’s vaults, is not getting a positive review….from crucial Repukes!

    [A crucial bloc of swing Republican senators just criticized a House GOP Obamacare draft
    Four senators wrote that the weeks-old draft “does not adequately protect” Medicaid expansion enrollees.
    Updated by Andrew Prokopandrew@vox.com Mar 6, 2017, 5:21pm EST

    If Democrats unite against the GOP’s Obamacare repeal effort, the bill can only afford to lose votes from two Republican senators. If three defect, there would be 51 votes against the bill, and it would die.

    So when four Republican senators release a letter harshly criticizing how a leaked House GOP draft bill treats the Medicaid expansion, it’s a shot across the bow that could seriously endanger the chances of anything passing.]

    http://www.vox.com/2017/3/6/14836020/obamacare-medicaid-expansion-republicans

    • OrG

      But will all dems be on the right side?Lookin’ at you Manchin.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Perzackly what I thought. There’s no way to tell.

      • Tallmutha

        Even more crucially, will the four R’s who wrote the strongly worded letter turn around and vote for the bill with the rest of their caucus? Prolly.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      All we need are three GOPpers who hope to win re-election in 2020.

  • azeyote

    Comey might last longer than Trump, who acts like the end is inevitable and soon – if they got the pee hookers video it will be the best ever – talk about ratings

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Does he know of possibility there might be a confrontation and be fired by the President? Sure,” the source said. “Does he worry about it? No.”

    That asshole Comey would probably be relieved if Donald sent his ass packing.

    • shastakoala

      Assuming Trump doesn’t discontinue unemployment benefits.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Asked whether Trump still had confidence in Comey, White House Spokesman
    Sean Spicer said, “There’s nothing that I have been told by him that
    would lead me to believe that anything is different than what it was
    prior.”

    This gobbledygook is just screaming to be followed up by “That statement is inoperative.”

    • SmokinGood

      It was not intended to be a factual statement.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        Assume deer dead.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When you hire a “spokesman”, shouldn’t you hire somebody who can assemble cogent sentences?

      • Suttree

        I actually almost feel kind of bad for him. Can you imagine having to polish this turd? I would be shooting heroin into my eyeballs.

      • FlownΩver

        Well, unless you’re having problems with your bicycle.

        [I know, I know… I’ll see myself out.]

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      As are all previous statements.

  • Jennifer R

    Whoo, my problem yesterday is resolved. Friend who is taking the recovering friend home that day was gonna hang out anyway and is cool with doing the 18th without me.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    If only there were some way to ensure that everyone involved in this horror show has to publicly eat an enormous shit sandwich, but as it is I can’t decide whether Comey being fired is something I’m in favor of or not. I feel torn because on the one hand, I think he should burn in hell for that phony bullshit he pulled during the election, but on the other I’m afraid Dolt 45 would appoint someone who would eat out of his hand, quash any investigations, and drag the country closer to the abyss.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Shit sammiches for all :) Possibly overdone, definitely smothered in catsup.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        What is this feline dinner of which you speak? Round here we spell that red sauce “ketchup.”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          My parents, some 65 years ago, got married, and their first marital argument was about whether it was “ketchup” or “catsup.” My mom, being from up north, said “ketchup”, my dad, being from Arkansas, said “catsup”.

          They went to the supermarket (in Southern California), and saw “ketchup” and “catsup” side by side.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          http://i42.tinypic.com/28iokyw.png

          Note: Cat soup is something quite different.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            But, of course, the main ingredient of Cat Soup is, yes, you guessed it, ketchup!

        • MeerkatsRMammals

          Simpsons have warped my brainz. Whenever I hear “ketchup”, I think of this… Much like Mr. Burns – Mr. Trump is in WAY over his head!
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ae138c13f247bfa85b42b7f8e5fc11ce12807432e35ec2d3966f57ca478a1d64.jpg

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Since the popular red sauce we know today actually stated out as an Indonesian sweetened soy concocoction (ketjap manis) perhaps we should be spelling it “ketjap”.

      • Suttree

        They need to make a new extension that replaces Turnip with a bottle of Heinz instead of a kitty cat.

    • Jennifer R

      He gets a sweet pension.

      • OrG

        Lots of chits for the prison commissary.

    • Sardonicuss

      I actually don’t think Comey should go. He is probably our only chance to actually have fair investigations that are revealed.
      If Drup replaces him with the head security cop from Mara Lago…..everything dies.

      • Lamashtar

        Also, I feel he needs to be punished for complaining about all the investigations of Hillary. Investigating Trump seems fitting.

  • memzilla Ω
    • OrG

      Hands are too big.

    • Ducksworthy

      Very good. Except one of the pundits should have been black and needs more fawning all around/

  • Crystalclear12

    Repost
    Complete confidence- phrase used by senior politician before throwing junior politician under the bus.
    Can YOU use it in a sentence?

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      “Mr. Trump has complete confidence in General Flynn” – KAC mere hours before Flynn resigned.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I have complete confidence that Trump will continue to shit the bed.

    • SmokinGood

      I have Complete Confidence that everything is fine.

    • Suttree

      I have complete confidence this scab is not related to a venereal disease.

    • OrG

      I have complete confidence the Presidential pivot has been made.HAH! Not really.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I have complete confidence that the check is in the mail, I love you, and I’m not going to come in your mouth.

  • Manhattan123

    What president be so moronic to fire an FBI director?

    Oh, wait….

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Google ‘Fact check Trump’ and you get over 14,000,000 hits.
    Not sure what it means, but it’s probably not good.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Millions and millions of those are illegal hits, though.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Fake hits

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    CNN chart – False Claims Made by Trump (Birther, Ted Cruz’s father murdering JFK, millions voted illegally, crowd size at inauguration, record high murder rate).

    I like that CNN is not sugarcoating it by saying “possibly false things.” They just straight up say “bullshit spewed from Trump’s mouth.”

    • Suttree

      I switched back and forth this morning from Morning Mika and CNN. CNN was pretty fucking vague on calling a lie, a lie.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Wolf Blitzer had the “BULLSHIT” flag flying, and it did NOT say “possibly false claims made by Trump” it said “FALSE Claims Made by Trump.” Honestly, they were mostly just covering the tip of the iceberg with his lies.

    • TJ Barke

      Good, hopefully they finally drop all pretenses.

    • OrG

      Too fucking late assholes.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Heh…
    I got yer wild spackalayshun right here!
    Hooooyaaa!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlC4TF0PF5owZCU/source.gif

    • rebecca

      I loved that show. how wasn’t it YUGE?

      • MynameisBlarney

        I never saw it actually.
        I was looking for a silly gif and this one was it.
        What show is it?

  • ariel_gee_398

    Melania’s people are drafting WH press releases, it seems.
    https://twitter.com/_cingraham/status/838874217852567552

    • yyyaz

      Why try hiding the agenda when they’ve bitch-slapped Merika across the face with it since Day One?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Plagiarism makes life easier. You know I’m right.

      • Tallmutha

        Plagiarism makes life easier. You know I’m right.

        • proudgrampa

          Plagiarism makes life better. You know I’m correct.

    • weejee

      A WH attempt at truth in government?

    • mancityRed6

      it’s not plagiarism if the same people wrote both

    • Shibusa

      I plagiarized your post. My bad!

      • ariel_gee_398

        No worries, but out of curiosity, do you also make your kids use caviar-based skincare products?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I love that. Complete confidence but doesn’t believe him.

    • OrG

      Words are tricky.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Found on a blog. Apologies to Prince…but ~snort~

    A Russian Pee Hooker’s Ode to Donald Trump:
    ____________ Yellow Rain___________
    I meant to cause you lots of pleasure
    I meant to cause you a little pain
    I only wanted one time to see you bathing
    I only want to see you bathing in the yellow rain

    Yellow rain Yellow rain
    Yellow rain Yellow rain
    Yellow rain Yellow rain

    I only want to see you bathing in the yellow rain

    I never wanted to be your weekend lover
    I only wanted to be some kind of friend
    Baby I could never steal you from Melania
    It’s such a shame our friendship had to end

    Yellow rain Yellow rain
    Yellow rain Yellow rain
    Yellow rain Yellow rain

    I only want to see you underneath the yellow rain

    Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
    It’s time we all reach out for something new
    That means you too
    You say you want the leader
    But you can’t seem to make up your mind
    I think you better close it
    And let me guide you back to the yellow rain

    Yellow rain Yellow rain
    Yellow rain Yellow rain

    https://i1.wp.com/4fc.7d2.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Donald_Trump_pee_pee.jpg?fit=1050%2C700

    (*C’mon. There’s a music vid here somewhere.)

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Didn’t you sheeple know that Obama conspired with Julius and Ethel Rosenberg?

    • mancityRed6

      helped conceal the Pearl Harbor attack plans
      put the cane within easy reach of Preston Brooks
      beat all the German runners in the ’36 Olympics to give Hitler a sad
      the list could go on and on.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Knocked out Sonny Liston with a phantom punch.

    • Jennifer R

      Only the Rosenberg’s were executed, their christain conspirators served at most 15 years.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      AND Gavrilo Princip!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Obama stole my sammich from the fridge then lied about it.

  • Khavrinen

    “We’ve already said Donald Trump would resign within three months, which gives us till April 20 to be totally psychic.”

    Well, if Trump actually does resign, a lot of people are going to celebrate like it was 4-20, no matter what the calendar date is.

  • fawkedifiknow

    “There you have it, Trump is gonna totally Yates Jim Comey, and no, we have no evidence besides “if he does it, we’ll look cool.”

    As luck would have it, that is more evidence than Trump has of a wire “tapp” by Obummer.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Because the wire tapps were allegedly made during the campaign, shouldn’t Sessions recuse himself?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      HAH! That’s exactly what they WANT you to think.

  • mancityRed6

    23 in Olathe right now. It’s been windy all day. Around 20 with gusts up to the 40s mph (32-64K), and we have tornado watch until 10.
    Maybe I’ll get to see one. Well, unless it’s dark out.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Juan de Fuca

        Oh Hell No!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Eh. Those movies that try too hard to be campy never end up being that much fun.

    • proudgrampa

      Oh, man. You are right in tornado alley. I grew up in Overland Park and saw my share of them.

      Seems kind of cold for a tornado, but YOU be safe!

      • mancityRed6

        edited. dammit, why couldn’t we have just gone metric in the early ’80s like we were supposed to?
        and, except for 3 years, I’ve lived my whole life in the alley. the closest I’ve ever gotten to seeing one was when it passed south of Lawrence and the news station got a shot of it from a helicopter.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Eesh. Head for the root cellar.

      • mancityRed6

        that’s gonna be hard to do in a second floor apartment. at least the bathroom doesn’t have any windows.
        eh, we’re far enough into town that even if it did happen, it wouldn’t be here.
        of course, I’m sure they said that in Joplin, too.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          Didn’t Alex Jones claim Obama sent the tornado to Joplin with his weather machine?

          • mancityRed6

            if it had been in a more liberal alcove, he would have claimed false flag
            (although it does have a large gay community, the last I heard they might even still have a bar on main street)

    • Alan

      Get Toto inside.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    I think three months till resignation is a tad bit wishful thinking — he will not last the four years, but I’m guessing 18 months till asshole Pence becomes the Pres. unless of course he strokes out first from a coke and KFC overload.

    • noodle

      Agreed. The pace at which this shit show is running outpaces the opposition.

  • Bill Slider

    I recommend Kellyanne Conway as the next Director of the FBI. Reports based on alternative facts would drive the media into a tailspin.

  • weejee

    Bookies have tRump not finishing the year at 2:1. Less than even money to complete four. Dear Editrix, if tRump heads for the door one day before your 4/20 deadline it would be my bestest birthday ever.

  • Raan

    It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.

    Yup, works here.

  • Shibusa
    • TJ Barke

      Drainin’ that swamp.

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        And refilling it with raw sewage.

        • Miles Monroe

          Tar sands crude.

    • DainBramage

      It’s not even a stretch to say that the Department of State has been outsourced to Exxon.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Parks just released the first official photos of Trump’s anemic inauguration crowd

    https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedBen/status/838877552361996289

  • boyblue122

    The way things are going i wouldn’t be surprised if Drumpf nominated Alex Jones

    • TJ Barke

      Stazi officer is something he aspires to be.

      • boyblue122

        I dunno. I think jones likes his cushy job of being able to scream about nonsense with no real responsibilities.

        • Jamoche

          Just like Trump used to.

    • mancityRed6

      that would really liven up the stakes on who has the first coronary.

  • Jenny

    We don’t need no evidence for wild accusations!!!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A buddy of mine is in the painters union. The company he works for hasn’t given him and a lot of other brothers any work lately. My friend filed for unemployment. When he got his first check, the owner calls and says he’ll get him some work. They’re going to give him two days a week, which is 5 hours more than what the cutoff for unemployment is. If he turns it down, he can’t get unemployment. So he gets screwed and the owner doesn’t have to pay anything. He’s ready for a bloody revolution.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Maybe your buddy could spend his free time painting the owners house. Purple and pink come to mind…

    • mailman27

      Trouble is, 1/3 of his compadres are ready to blame it on the union.

  • Proud Liberal

    “Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal and financial information about Mr. Trump, multiple US officials with direct knowledge of the briefings tell CNN.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/10/politics/donald-trump-intelligence-report-russia/

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Psst, Vladimir, you still got those pee hooker tapes? Well, hang on to them. I think CNN is willing to start negotiations.

    • Sardonicuss

      Message for various IC people:
      Leak this shit for gods sake! They are too inept to track you down and if it makes him go away…nobody will investigate! Your brother IC people will cover for you. No career IC wants to live through what is coming with this moron!

  • Shibusa
    • Jennifer R

      You know, ECT would explain Carson well.

    • Crank Tango

      Ha, yeah, no.

  • Ergoetal

    I get down on my knees every day and thank God for the (sic) button.

    Where would we bee without it?

  • Shibusa

    Trump is using Muslim Ban 2.0 to raise $ for his reelection campaign. God help us all.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/576d7690f57e17e92ba248ff335d0feb137709e5681a24175da7a39ed3d4e815.jpg

  • Shanzgood

    OT: baconzgood told me he got his first postcards this morning from VA and OR and felt all the Wonklove!

    You guys are the best!!!*

    *mumbletypeg and Artemis just so we’re clear

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I’ve been off line mostly since my surgery so I must have missed this. What’s it about?

      • Shanzgood

        Baconz got snagged up in the system and is working his way out. It’s been crazy.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      I want to know, too. Wazzup with Baconz?

      • Shanzgood

        Baconz got snagged by The Man

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Oh no! Can’t upvote that! Hope he gets sprung soon.

          • Shanzgood

            He had a job interview this morning and should be hearing back in a couple of days. If he gets the job, he can go home!!

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            oh – visa issue? That sucks. We live in “interesting times”.

          • Shanzgood

            No, it was a court issue. Hopefully will be resolved soon.

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            Fingers crossed!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      He’s got one on the way from CA as well!

      • Shanzgood

        Wheee!

  • bookish

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a53622/trump-russia-special-prosecutor/

    Rarely a day goes by without an exciting new twist in The Russian Connection, the John Le Carré novel none of us signed up for. This has left something of an impression on the American people, at least according to a CNN poll out today, which shows 55 percent of us are somewhat or very concerned about the allegations. Perhaps more to the point, fully 65 percent want Congress to appoint a special prosecutor to follow the trail rather than investigate it themselves. That number even includes 46 percent of Republican respondents.

    The results should bolster the already strong case for an independent figure to lead the investigation. Attorney General Jeff Sessions compromised his own potential involvement by claiming he hadn’t met with Russian officials during the campaign when he most certainly did—twice. Sessions has since recused himself from any campaign-related investigations.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Congress? lol Grassley is investigating the “ties between Christopher Steele and the FBI”, and Chaffetz is looking into Trump’s crazy “My phones can haz tapps” claim.

      Nunes pronounced “nothing to see here” before being briefed, seeing witnesses or reading reports.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Meanwhile, Scott Walker pens an op-ed urging his fellow Republicans to stand strong in the face of public opinion.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Scott Walker: Poster boy for the dangers of fetal alcohol syndrome.

      • mailman27

        Who held the pen?

      • georgiaburning

        The Koch brothers need human shields now?

    • mancityRed6

      didn’t someone ever tell him it’s rude to cover the shitweasel on his head with a hat while he’s indoors?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      In Le Carre novels, the moral ambiguity came from furthering the interests of the fallible State. These assholes aren’t even doing it out of misguided patriotism.

      • AJ Milne

        Yeah, I get more of a Raymond Chandler/because people are incredibly venal vibe off this one.

    • mailman27

      Needz moar tax returns.

  • therblig

    comey unemployed and trumpy rage stroking?

    is it christmas already?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It’s a War on Christmas miracle!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why hasn’t Trump asked the Supreme Court to investigate?

    • mancityRed6

      I can only give one upfist for that

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Tweet him and ask. Say, around 3:10 tomorrow morning.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I just may have to go against all I hold sacred and join twitter.

    • Doug Langley

      Because he still hasn’t forgiven them for “You Can’t Hurry Love”.

  • My personal betting line has been that Trump has either a heart attack, a stroke, or an aneurysm within the next few months. Mostly because he’s seriously overweight, doesn’t exercise, bad eating habits, and given his continual temper blowups, it’s just a matter of time. Of course, being impeached and then led out of the White House in handcuffs would be nice, too.

    • mancityRed6

      how about one from column a and then column b?

    • DainBramage

      That perp walk would be played on continuous loop in the Bramage household.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        I would make it an animated wallpaper for my computer machine.

    • Suse

      We can haz a two-fer? Bannon looks extremely ill, but he’s probably too evil to die.

      • Bannon is likely to have pictures come out of his vacation to the Dominican Republic with Rush Limbaugh.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        A pack of teenagers will mistake his face for a pizza and eat him to death.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          No one will ever mistake that face for food.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          As much as I hate teenagers, I wouldn’t even wish that on them
          :(

      • DainBramage

        Bannon looks like Dorian Gray’s picture.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        I dunno. Ain’t Breitbart still ded?

    • mailman27

      Our formerly great nation’s Republican-led legislature would circle the wagons around Hannibal Lector. I’m not optimistic.

      • yyyaz

        Last one for dinner wins!

    • OrG

      putin;s liabilities do seem to be dropping like flies.

    • eka

      what do you mean he doesn’t exercise? he waves his arms around at rallies!

    • Persistent Demme

      Or he’ll fake the above if he thinks he’s getting impeached.

      • yyyaz

        The Joseph Bonnano Sr. defense. Which actually worked, btw.

  • Suse

    Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) described Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s conversation with the Russian ambassador as a “nothing burger.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b66a5229dad305fa0e0d38979da57941f9fecc7e191ec515e6f60eb23124d4a.jpg

  • Shibusa
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Also too, for moose limb ban 1.0 he said if they had a week notice they’d be pouring in to shank us an do bad things.

      This time, meh, 10 days if fine.

  • bookish

    http://thehill.com/blogs/congress-blog/politics/322499-resisting-trumps-deportation-machine-the-immigrant-sanctuary

    I’d like to share the story of an initiative from Maryland to show why states across the country need comprehensive sanctuary policies. Last week, I had the privilege of joining CASA and other Maryland immigrant community leaders to provide expert testimony regarding the Maryland Law Enforcement and Governmental Trust Act (S. 544 -14, H.B. 1362). The Trust Act would protect Maryland’s 911,582 foreign-born residents, who comprise over 15 percent of the state’s population, and protect the safety, educational opportunities and well-being of their families and our communities.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Alternate Reality.

    Sessions on Russia testimony: ‘My answer was correct’

    “I did not mention communications I had had with the Russian ambassador over the years because the question did not ask about them,” Sessions wrote.
    —–snip—-
    Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) said he was satisfied with Sessions’ answers and would not call him back to testify about his confirmation hearing.


    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/322607-sessions-on-russia-testimony-my-answer-was-correct

    • Jon Sussex

      Assume brain dead.

    • Jamoche

      Bless your heart, son, but the question didn’t ask about what you did answer, either.

  • badtonto

    James Comey is a very sweet person, also!! :(

    • Jonny On Maui

      How do you know? Have you tasted him?

      • Alan

        Ewww.

        • Suse

          Needz moar salt!

      • badtonto

        Why….ummm….YETH!!

        :)

        • Doug Langley

          Quick quiz: diabetes is the disease characterized by high sugar levels in the urine. Guess how they found that out?

          • badtonto

            Ummm… it doesn’t have anything to do with those Russian hookers, does it? 😬

  • goonemeritus

    I’m betting their are a couple of possible replacements in the NY office.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      For whom? Comey is in DC.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Oh, you are suggesting a massive promotion for the folks in the NY office that are under internal investigation?

        • goonemeritus

          They seem like Trump’s kind of people.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            And maybe one or two Russian crime bosses’ kinds of people.

          • goonemeritus

            Potato potato

          • Crank Tango

            Sounds like they’re the only people in NYC who like him.

            ETA as soon as I hit post, my mind was confronted by a hundred Spike Lee movie stereotypes, never mind.

          • goonemeritus

            My guess is they go home to NJ every night.

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            Yah, back home to the Family…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Has anyone posted this yet? Is this a thing? Can they do that to an American citizen?
    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/khizr-khan-travel-privileges-toronto-235727

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Khan? If so yes.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Yes we Khan! Too soon?

        • Roadstergal

          Khaaaaaaaaaaan!

      • SnarkON

        Insert obligatory “Wrath of Khan” joke here.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          I hope he sues the shit out of ’em and wins.

    • Suse

      I’ll bet this was personal revenge for Khan hurting Drump’s sensitive little feelers.

      • SnarkON

        B-but…that would be corrupt!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Oh absolutely. He was on his way to speak at a luncheon in Toronto. You can bet he was going to trash-talk Drump. This needs to create a HUGE stink. They’re already denying entry to Canadians who MAY not like him.

        • Alan

          That would be the country of Canada.

    • Juan de Fuca

      If it’s true, this really could be the thing that brings Trump down.

      *reality kicks back in*

      It probably happened and will be swept under the rug and forgotten about in a few weeks but they shouldn’t be able to do this to any American citizen. If it went down like Mr. Khan says it did, and I have zero reason to doubt him – no words.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      President Petty and his petty cabinet can use the full force of the government to harass his enemies.

  • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

    Whoa! Editrix and I were connected last night. I, too, watched Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Maybe peeping through the window was unnecessary, though…

      • mancityRed6

        oh, someone is being fancy. like I can afford cable.

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          I’m just sayin’: knock on the door with an unopened bottle of Ripple and see if they’ll let you in.

          • puredog

            I would open the bottle, pour out and save the Ripple for later use, then put a cheap wine in the bottle in its place. I’m classy like that.

  • bookish

    http://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/322609-gop-releases-bill-to-repeal-and-replace-obamacare

    House Republicans on Monday unveiled their long-awaited legislation to repeal and replace ObamaCare.

    The two measures dismantle the core aspects of ObamaCare, including its subsidies to help people buy coverage, its expansion of Medicaid, its taxes and its mandates for people to have insurance. (READ THE BILLS HERE AND HERE.)

    In its place, Republicans would put in place a new system centered on a tax credit to help people buy insurance.

    http://energycommerce.house.gov/sites/republicans.energycommerce.house.gov/files/documents/AmericanHealthCareAct.pdf

    • BMW

      “Instead of protecting civil rights, let’s give people vouchers to hire lawyers.”
      -Republican logic

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Yay. GOP Couponcare is here.

      • mancityRed6

        look for it in your sunday paper!

        • OrdinaryJoe

          I had this conversation with a moran acquaintance yesterday. He was sure they would repeal Obamacare and replace it was something like the Affordable Care Act.

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            JFC, really?

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Really. I am sure he has never picked up a newspaper. Just all hours all day with talk radio and Faux News.

  • SnarkON

    You also predicted that Hillary would be our next president. Just saying.

    • Alan

      Ouch.

    • Tallmutha

      If that’s the metric, everybody but Michael Moore is a idiot.

      • Rotisserie Teal

        Don’t forget Dilbert. Scott Adams called it more than a year out. He referred to Trump as a ‘Master Wizard’ of persuasion. It’s chilling how spot on some of his analysis turned out to be.

    • Persistent Demme

      I still wonder if there was some manipulation (Russia?) of the votes.

      • stubbornirishlass

        I don’t.

  • mailman27

    Do I have anything to say to people who answer questions by questioning themselves? Knock it the fuck off.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Just read an interesting thinky piece over at Jezebel another website that does not match our beloved Wonkette for insight and analysis and also has neither good recipes nor hooker piss porn about how, as feminists and feminist-adjacent people, we should not be comparing Kellyanne Caca to Skeleton (no, really, we shouldn’t, and that’s the truth) but at the same it’s worthwhile remembering that Kellyanne is terrible and willingly aids and abets all kinds of policies that will hurt lots of people and also women, so maybe cool it with making fun of her looks but also we have bigger fish to fry.

    • SnarkON

      I actually found Wonkette after abandoning Jezebel, which I had read for years, after its comments section turned into a slimy cesspool of girl-on-girl bullying. Was so happy to get here and find that there were men in the comments.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Ya know, I saw a headline in the NYT today about that but didn’t click on it because the notion that we should pull any punches re KAC because she allegedly has a vagina really ticks me off.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        The piece on Jezebel wasn’t all that thrilled with the NYT’s hand-wringing about how we should all just be nice to Kellyanne because feminism = being gracious apparently.

      • Tallmutha

        Yes, the Times had a piece, front page below the fold, with the headline “New Powerful Woman, Same Old Sexist Insults”

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Loved the little posed KAC moments during SNL set changes.

    • Sardonicuss

      They don’t much like bad mouthing Sarandon over there either.
      Screw that noise.

    • marxalot

      How about “KaC has no soul, you can tell from her crazy eyes her actions which are literally abetting and aiding in the deaths of human persons and also democracy”?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I believe we are allowed to say that and still call ourselves feminists. At least, I hope so, because I am and I do.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      My thoughts, in general we ridicule her for being a soulless shill. That the constant spinning and supporting untenable positions (legitimate rape, locker room talk, religious tests, et fucking cetera) is just the schadenfreude cherry on top of the shit sundae. She has earned every derisive statemen for being foul inside. She could look like Alyssa Milano (full disclosure I have had a crush for 30+ of my 43 years) and i would attack her for her looks.

  • BMW

    “The Good Place” is a great show, for people who don’t need their comedy spoon fed to them.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Yes, yes it is. It’s great to see an actual new thing on actual network TV.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Yup. Holds up a mirror to us just like all the good ones do.

  • Roadstergal

    Hillz to fired Comey: “Don’t come crying to me, beyotch.”

  • Tallmutha

    So the new Spicer/Conway line is that Trump has access to intelligence that we don’t, so if he says his phone was tapped, we should believe him because that’s probably how he knows it. Anybody but Jason Chaffetz might say “Why the fuck am I supposed to investigate it then? You’ve got the details right there.” But Jason has low self-esteem, and doesn’t value his time.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And he has access to more intel than Comey?
      Right.

    • Suttree

      For $170+K a year, I would sit around and write book reports on Ancient Aliens too.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He values his time enough to try to look busy.

    • clubseal

      That’s *THE* government line for everything, unfortunately.

      “Sure, we killed a bunch of innocent people in Yemen with drones, but we have access to information you don’t, so QED.”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
    • Rotisserie Teal

      Thank you sharing.

  • bookish

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/washington/la-na-essential-washington-updates-house-republicans-release-obamacare-1488841915-htmlstory.html
    House Republicans released a long-awaited Obamacare replacement plan Monday that would roll back the healthcare law’s extensive system for providing health insurance to millions of Americans.

    The legislation, the first such bill that House Republican leaders have produced, would in 2020 eliminate federal aid that has allowed 31 states to expand their Medicaid programs to millions of previously uninsured poor people.

    And the bill would restructure the tax subsidies that help Americans who don’t get coverage through an employer to buy health plans.

    The House GOP plan, which has gone through a series of major changes in closed-door negotiations over the last several days, stepped back from several of the more controversial ideas that had been on the table.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/new-details-emerge-on-gop-plans-to-repeal-and-replace-obamacare/2017/03/06/04751e3e-028f-11e7-ad5b-d22680e18d10_story.html

    • BosGrl

      great

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Y’know, I have no sympathy for Comey. I hope Donald fires him even if what he did is a good thing.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Except he’ll probably nominate James O’queef as his replacement.

      • Doug Langley

        Don’t do it, Donnie! Kiefer was Queeg’s worst nightmare!

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Strawberries!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Mark Fuhrman has experience in law enforcement, FOX News yammering, and racism. He’d be perfect.

      • Sardonicuss

        He will nominate Paul Blart: Mall Cop and those investigations will never again see the light of day.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Probably already posted, but:

    Ben Carson: “There were other immigrants who came in the bottom of slave ships, who worked even longer, even harder, for less …”

    • SnarkON

      No, Ben! No!

      • Juan de Fuca

        Isn’t that what his friend said before he broke his knife?

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      The hole truly is bottomless, isn’t it?

    • BosGrl

      Sleepy Ben NOT WOKE!

    • Tallmutha

      He added: “But they, too, had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-granddaughters might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.” Yeah. I bet they just couldn’t stop thinking about how well their descendants were going to do in this awesome land.

    • badtonto

      Oh Ben!….Ben, Ben, BEN!! ☹️

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Did they build the pyramids and store grain and or hemp in them?

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      His middle name just has to be Thomas the way Uncle Ben keeps carrying on.

  • Alan

    “There’s nothing that I have been told by him that would lead me to believe that anything is different than what it was prior.”

    These guys take Word Salad 101? You can still get a copy of Strunk and White for about ten dollars.

    • clubseal

      Wes Luger:
      There’s something between you and this General Mortars.

      Jack Colt:
      He was my CO in ‘Nam. CIA listed him as MIA, but the VA ID’d his MO and we put out an APB.

      Wes Luger:
      Oh, I see.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Still FUBAR….

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I can’t take another 6 weeks of this. Everyone I know is so stressed by it all.

    • Suse

      I had to up my meds and join a depression group. Fortunately, both are helping.

      • BosGrl

        My therapist gives me an extra 10-15 minutes after our session so we can scream about Trump. I love her.

    • Doug Langley

      I’m immune. My despair over job hunting makes Trump look insignificant.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Say out loud every morning what you want. This is advice from a savant I hitchhiked with fifty years ago. Amazingly, it works…..(takes a little time, but hold on to it)…

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Sorry that you’re dealing with that. It’s the shots.

    • puredog

      I was wondering what the significance of “6 weeks” was, then guessed that that’s how long it’s been so far, so. Blue, I have bad news for you. . . . .

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Mom (To her son, coming back from his first day at Kindergarten)
        “So! How did it go today?”

        Son: “Not so good. I have to go back again tomorrow.”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Breathe in, breathe out…….Grrrrrrr…………….that’s it……..repeat…….

      • Tacoclamgenda

        I keep getting stuck on the grrrrrrr part.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Y’all might benefit from some good hard physical exercise. About 20 minutes of chopping firewood really settles me down. Same amount of time of a heavy bag or speed bag would do the trick, too.

  • Jon Sussex

    So Dumb-ass Donny fantasized that B. Barry Bamz tapped him. Understandable. An old guy with a couple of chins can dream, can’t he? Except nobody’s gonna tap Dumb-ass Donny. Sad.

    • Roadstergal

      Lawd knows I’ve fantasized about being tapped by Obama, but I don’t Tweet about it.

    • snark-lurker

      you can handle this

    • Courser_Resistance

      My brain toyed around with that when I first read it. I thought of our Barry Bamz leaning up against a door jam, maybe with a cig between his fingers, looking all smoky and hot, “Tap that? Girl, that cray. Seriously?” and then he just laughs his rich laugh and we all feel so much better.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        And then we all wake up on January 20th to find Bamz helping Hillz carry boxes into the white house while Michelle and Bill pick out the new drapes.
        This is my fever dream

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Bamz tapped him, but Donny said “I don’t dance”….

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I went into a meeting this morning and a lady was complaining that a comedian she went to see went on an anti Trump rant and she didn’t find it funny. She wasn’t very happy about it.

    Then she said it was Chris Rock.

    • Suse

      She was expecting Totie Fields?

      • Rotisserie Teal

        A Totie Fields reference!

        I love this site

        • schmannity

          I was expecting Myron Cohen, just back from Miami Beach.

          • Rotisserie Teal

            The weather in the Bronx is terrible this time of year.

    • BosGrl

      Maybe comedy clubs should now light their signs red or blue so people can be forewarned. :D Though I don’t think she needed a blue light for Chris Rock.

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        I coulda sworn Chris Rock would be one of Donny T’s African Americans.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I don’t take him for anybody’s fool.

    • OrG

      Don’t tell me,she’s a trumpkin.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        she might just be a sensitive Republican. I didn’t really know the people in the meeting.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Wow! What a delicate little snowflake. For all the bitching Republicans do about “safe spaces” and “snowflakes” they are amazingly thin skinned and babyish.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        And she went ther of her own volition! She said she was a fan, even. Wtf was she expecting?

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          She was expecting Rock’s old “I hate a N—— routine”, I’m guessing.

    • Jenny

      Well, that comedian will never make it, that’s for sure!!!

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’ve heard that Dennis Miller tickets are pretty easy to come by.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Who?….

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

        Joe Piscopo will be giving free shows rallies if he decides to run. He was a hoot when I was 10. Sadly, the Cos has probable scheduling conflicts, all though court tv might air his next gig.

        • Juan de Fuca

          I loved Piscopo when I was a kid. Between him and Carrot Top, I’m beginning to think there’s a causal effect of doing steroids and becoming chronically less funnier. Not sure what Dennis Miller’s excuse is besides turning into a RWNJ or maybe that’s it.

          Piscopo would probably still be better than Christie. Low bar that one, though.

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            Piscopo, especially with Eddie Murphy on SNL. Classic.

    • Sardonicuss

      Damn. I would love to see Chris Rock live.
      Wealth is wasted on the wealthy.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Ha! Who could have possibly seen that coming?

  • Bill D. Burger

    When we came back to the ranch this afternoon, we passed a new church being built to replace the old one….and that sucker had a number of lightning rods on it. It reminded me of Doug McLeod famous observation that putting lightening rods on a church “…demonstrates a lack of confidence.”
    Further, seens to me that the debate between religion and science was over as soon as churches started doing that.
    Sorry….Just thought of that.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7ca73d879b16804ccb98d1dd499cda7dea5533f72430ac48842a5363a0924045.jpg

    • Keith Taylor

      Isaac Asimov thought of it before either of us, but we needn’t be worried that Asimov was ahead. Nothing to be ashamed of there, just as “No man need be ashamed of being beat by Shane.” He (Asimov, not Shane) wrote an entire article on it, “The Fateful Lightning.” The preachers and ecclesiastics were very toey about the blasphemous implications when Franklin first invented the lightning rod, and one Philadelphia version of Reverend Lovejoy was almost pleased when an earthquake devastated Lisbon around that time. He gushed, “Oh! There is no getting out of the mighty hand of God.”
      Logic triumphs over all, especially in the days of the Donald Trump presidency.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I always say: “Trump’s logic trumps logic.”

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Not “Logic trumps Trump’s logic”?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            That works, too!

  • Mirful

    I think I have quite possibly invented the universal “President” Trump emoji:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c40d7cd5a0f59082cd1d75a5fbac6929f2be066956d14d02e0f574c7e827bddc.jpg

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Or as Colbert had ti: A Dick-tater Tot.

    • Crank Tango

      Aubergine pomme de terre !

      Merde !

    • OrG

      Okay,I give up.I don’t get it.

    • Mirful

      Dick.
      Tater.

  • Suse

    I’m off to take a short nap. See ya!

  • bookish

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/u-s-promises-response-severe-threat-north-korean-missile-launches-n729846

    White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer told reporters Monday that the [recent North Korea missile] launches “are consistent with North Korea’s long history of provocative behavior” and represent a “very serious threat.”

    Spicer said the United States is “taking steps to enhance our ability to defend against North Korea’s ballistic missiles, such as through the deployment of a THAAD battery to South Korea.”

    THAAD, which stands for Terminal High Altitude Area Defense, is a controversial anti-missile system designed to counter a threat like that from North Korea. Beijing has denounced the system as a “clear, present and substantive threat to China’s security interests.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I knew something like this would happen. The next thing, China threatens to sink one of our ships. Then trump gets out My Pet Goat and the next thing, his ratings go through the roof – fucker……

  • Duke

    I don’t believe that the president, or anyone, can just fire the head of the FBI. Why? So they can’t be intimidated to do political shit.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    The first step in Trump’s process of fireresigning somebody is to announce to the public that he has “full confidence” in that poor bastard.

    This has just become obvious to me. I know, I’m slow sometimes.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • msanthropesmr

      Economically insecure.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If there’s a community in Oregon that is not “economically insecure”, it’s Lake Oswego.

    • OrG

      You don’t have to get far outside Portland to be in fucking Idaho.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Dok Zoom libel.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hahahahahahahahaha! Lake Oswego!!! Really!?!? One of the wealthiest suburbs in Portland and the lawyers and investment bankers are making animal noises??? Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah. Lake Oswego:Portland metro area :: Orange County:SoCal

        Although the pics of that gathering look more like the Trumpanzees were bussed in from Bakersfield.

  • msanthropesmr
    • hendenburg2

      I’m surprised they were able to play “hide-the-bill” for that long

  • hendenburg2

    So I know this is normally Robyn’s beat, but Cracked just ran a thing comparing MRA’s/RedPill’ers to Scientology/cults in general

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-mens-rights-activists-use-cult-tactics-its-members/

    What are the similarities, you might ask?

    AOT,K

    • Sardonicuss

      I started to put that up for Robin this morning. Very good angle ..MRA is a cult.
      ….but there was so much other horribleness.

  • WiscoJoe

    Oh, this is fun. Let’s all share our wacky predictions. Here’s mine:

    Trump will resign in disgrace sometime in the next two years, but first he’ll sack Pence and name Ivanka as VP just so that she gets her name in the history books as first female president.

    Is that even possible? IDK, but at this point I can’t see why not.

    Must credit WiscoJoe.

    • eka

      I don’t know if President Bannon would allow Ivanka as VP.

      • WiscoJoe

        Maybe Breitbart can run a sweepstakes. “Subscribe now, and you’ll be entered for a chance to become the next President!”

        • marxalot

          *Not eligible in all tax brackets. Purchase necessary. Some rules and restrictions may apply.

          • WiscoJoe

            *Presidential authority may vary.

          • WiscoJoe

            *Must show long form birth certificate to qualify. Tax returns not necessary.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I have money on “shit gets real” around mid June.

      • Amelia

        Shit isn’t real yet??? I can’t take the stress of shit getting much more real than it is now.

    • Juan de Fuca

      If he knows what happened recently in Azerbaijan, he probably assumes he could do the same thing:

      Azerbaijan’s President Ilham Aliyev has appointed his wife as first vice president, the latest move seen as tightening the family’s grip on the oil-rich Caspian nation.

      http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2017/02/president-ilham-aliyev-appoints-wife-vice-president-170221141059024.html

      • WiscoJoe

        Oh god, it’s real and actually going to happen.

  • goonemeritus

    Seems like kind of a “Squirrel Cop” situation.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So apparently the GOP’s health care plan includes no cost or coverage estimates. From WaPo:

    “But GOP leaders did not issue cost or coverage estimates for their plan, which is still being reviewed by nonpartisan congressional budgetary scorekeepers, and there were signs Monday that fellow Republicans could balk if the legislation leaves swaths of the country without insurance coverage.

    Four key Republican senators said they would oppose any new plan that would leave millions of Americans uninsured.

    Sens. Rob Portman (R-Ohio), Shelley Moore Capito (R. W.Va.), Cory Gardner (R-Colo.) and Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) said they would vote against any reform bill that fails to protect Americans who became eligible for coverage under the ACA’s expansion of Medicaid, the government-run health program for the poor and disabled.”

    • mackafritz

      Just rebrand it as Republicare and they are done.

      • MedusaX

        Conveniently they appear to have chosen:
        American Healthcare Act … very original

      • Msgr_MΩment

        DonnyCare, or Don’Care for short.

    • hendenburg2
      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        My favorite…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sounds suspiciously like Tony Stark’s idea to give Pepper Potts 12% of the credit for the Stark Tower’s clean energy source…

        • hendenburg2

          Actually, when I looked up those gif’s, I stumbled across a pic that included that, and pointing out all the other times Marvel used 12%.

    • OrG

      Blah blah blah

    • SayItWithWookies

      Why not just call people who can’t afford healthcare as the “willfully underinsured” and then make up stories about them stealing healthcare from honest hardworking citizens? That should alleviate any concerns from the Republicans who might accidentally start feeling their humanity awaken.

      • OrG

        You may have a future in repuke propaganda.

      • Persistent Demme

        Well, the trumpanzees are willfully ignorant, greedy, (or both), so…

  • dslindc

    TAPPGHAZI!!!!!111!11!!

    No Beer Tapps or Tapp dancing will be allowed!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      But hopefully an occasion to play taps?

    • Doug Langley

      Good god. You mean Fred Astaire is now illegal?

    • WiscoJoe

      You can’t spell “tapp” without TPP, and Trump already abolished those letters, so this is all just fake news.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        He meant to spell Tapper, but he was so mad, he just made shit up….

    • Crank Tango
    • JohnBull

      We could invite that Duggar fellow. He’s known to tap a few things.

    • Sardonicuss

      Checking……Yes! My tap is being tapped!
      Call the FBI.

  • Lizzietish81

    Reminder for fans of Charlie at Kitten Academy, he is being adopted tomorrow at 11 Central time.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Yay, I love when the little ones get their forever homes.

  • janecita

    Christopher Ruddy is such an asshole!!!! He is being interviewed by the BBC.

    • Anna Rompage

      Why the hell is the BBC interviewing that asshat?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Rats deserting the ship……hey, we caught this one!…

        • janecita

          He is one of the faithful, still firmly planted on that ship.

        • Anna Rompage

          Where’s the rat poison!

      • janecita

        To annoy me right before my Zumba class, obviously!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Philip Mudd, CNN counterterrorism analyst, was just scorching Trump in one of the most succinct and direct take downs I’ve seen. “FBI is now viewing Trump as a damn clown.” “The POTUS is suggesting a massive conspiracy between the judiciary and the executive branch OR Trump is suggesting Obama alone used his authority to commit a felony….and that’s insane.” And it went on. Loved it.

    • marxalot

      And then did nothing with the gathered intel. Oversaw the most blatant, unlawful expansion of Executive authority since Nixon, then handed the keys over to a man capable of destroying his legacy in a totally peaceful transition.
      Qua fuck?

      • snark-lurker

        I KNOOOOOW!!!111!

        • Raqueltlowe

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dl273c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !dl273c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs563TopReviewsGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dl273c:….,….

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Well, obvs Trump was squeaky clean.

      • Lamashtar

        Barack Obama's master plan:1) Wiretap the opposition 2) Gather damaging info 3) Say nothing4) Let him win 5) Ride off into the sunset— Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) March 5, 2017

        • Except replace “ride off into the sunset” with “enacts whatever dystopian nightmare you had in mind or even more likely all of them”

      • shaar dula

        O’s not done yet. Once he’s done with confiscating all the guns, he will get to Trump. Just wait.

        • SnarkON

          Off to the FEMA camp for Trump.

    • WiscoJoe

      Well, clearly it’s insane but we all need to have more empathy for the inmates that are running the asylum.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Fuck that shit. I am careful with where I put my empathy.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          You find empathy for the Tealoons in my Dictionary right between Derpass and fuck off.

      • Shoto

        I was thinking more in terms of electricity and a triple Thorazine drip, but I take your point.

      • Crystalclear12

        Yeahhhh. . . I have idiot intolerance. It’s a medical thing. So good luck I’ll watch from here.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Everyone is viewing Trump as a clown now, except the idiots who voted for him, Ninety percent of Republicans think he’s doing a good job. They need a name change to the Stupid Party.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I think it’s down to about 56% of Republicans…..and dropping….

        • I think there’s going to always be a percentage that simply can’t face reality, and admit that they’re too stupid to live.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That’s the 25% who are hopeless Fucks Gnus victims. (Or worse – get all their “news” from Red State and Blightfart.) When you hit 25%, you’ve hit bottom.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That would include Trump.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            The same percentile of Americans who thought Nixon was innocent; the poll was taken after he’d resigned.

          • I think they were 25% in the Bush days but I think they’ve swollen hard and immensely in number. I’m sorry I think we’re gonna have to up that to 35% at least.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Gov. Bobby Jindal beat you to it in 2013.

        Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal warned fellow Republicans they “must stop being the stupid party” during a fiery and sharp critique Thursday night at the Republican National Committee’s Winter Meeting.

        • Jindal was last seen drooling in a corner, making incoherent noises.

          • At the crossroads, stay strong

            Being governor of Louisiana will do that to you.

          • SnarkON

            Who?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Turned out that he couldn’t get any traction with that whole “thinking rationally” thing (we coulda told him it wouldn’t work), so he turned around and joined in the stupidity.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Grand
        Old
        Obsolete
        Booger
        Eating
        Republicans

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Grabby Old Pussburglars?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Goobers On Parade

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Gratuitously Offensive Pricks?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Me likes!

      • OneYieldRegular

        Stupid Party?

        Collaborationist Party, more like.

      • shaar dula

        Alt-Smart Old League

        original French: Citizens sans sens de la réalité

      • SnarkON

        Those people are also clowns.

    • Snopes Shop

      FBI is NOW viewing Trump as a clown. NOW? Just, like NOW??

  • Nounverb911

    Hopefully not too many of my fellow Wonketteers have posted this.

    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/838851957930483712

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Oh, great, Ben Carson described slaves as immigrants who came here looking to better their families. He’s genuinely insane, or high on drugs, or just really stupid.

    • Nounverb911

      Needs more pyramids…

    • Suttree

      Yes. AOT,K!

    • Paperless Tiger

      Hallelujah! I’m an immigrant!

    • janecita

      There is no way in hell that Ben Carson is a real doctor!!! The man is a fucking idiot!

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      He forgot to mention that they were granted special immigrant status and also willingly signed waivers granting their massas the right to split up their families if it would improve the families economic possibilities.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Tacoclamgenda

        What he says.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I emphatically approve this tweet.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Samuel L. Jackson is a beautiful human being.

    • They … um… took advantage of the Trump Cruise Lines offer of free passage?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        No. The future slaves had to pay for the cruise up front.

    • clubseal

      They were all just duped by a timeshare presentation and decided to make the best of it.
      – Alternate Reality Ben Carson

      • Lamashtar

        Having been to a timeshare presentation, I find this plausible.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Aunt Jemima had to put food on her family.
      Uncle Ben, also too.

    • tehbaddr

      Sure they did, shackled in the bottom of the hull stacked on top of each other. It was a massive sacrifice for their folks back home!

    • Lord Jim

      Ben Carson is proof that there is no such thing as racism, silly!

    • Greyhame

      Yeah about his choice of words there, that wasn’t a dream they were having in the bowels of those slave ships.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Take a generous handful of each, add to a gallon of asshattery, bring to a boil and stir vigorously.

  • Suttree

    WTF?! I just turned the TV on that was tuned to MSNBC from this morning. Greta says Paula Broadwell will be joining me live.

    • Juan de Fuca

      *extends palm to stop Suttree’s head from slamming into desk*

      • Suttree

        Thank you sir! But really!? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Juan de Fuca

          MSNBC is gonna MSNBC.

        • Suttree

          Greta: Have you ever been subjected to sexual harassment? I am going to go swim with the dolphins now.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Dolphins are super-rapey.

          • tehbaddr

            Umm, I was gonna say that!

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      The rolodex of chicks that were near the military is slight.

  • Nounverb911

    Oh yeah, this happened too, also

    https://twitter.com/tcm/status/838827035095097346

    • HooverVilles

      Sorry to hear that. I will miss him!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So that dog in my area who was burned might have been burned as a result of a controlled forest burn. That makes me feel a little bit better. They still think he may have been neglected, but at least I know some asshat probably didn’t set him on fire. Poor doggie.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Oh, that makes me haz a sad!
      Poor little guy!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I know! I feel better knowing it may not have been intentional.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          That helps, but I’m a big sap for furry and feathered friends. I hope he pulls through!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Mmmm…let’s just say after a heroic effort on the part of the ASPCA Michael (the dog) went to play on a big farm where the MilkBones and belly scratches never run out. They offered a $2500 reward to find the person who had set him on fire, but now they think it might not have been intentional. I do feel better knowing it was an accident. He was also emaciated and had fleas, but maybe he wasn’t neglected, maybe he had just gotten lost in the woods, and was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the fire started. I’m just glad he’s on that farm having fun now.

  • Nounverb911
    • OrG

      Pretty sneaky Barry.

    • ariel_gee_398

      That explains how Trump knew wiretapping was a crime – James O’Keefe must have told him.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ve seen the p0rn version.

      • Lamashtar

        “I’m here to lay some cable.” Bam-chicka-bam-bammm..

  • FlownΩver

    Oh, Jeez…

    New story about Marine nude photo scandal, and ReGreta’s go-to expert is Paula Broadwell – Petraeus’s sideschtupp!

    • Biff52

      I couldn’t even make it five minutes in to her first show on MSNBC. It was apparent she hadn’t changed her stripes, still a foxbot.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    OK. I admit it. It was me. I decided to tapp the Velveeta Tweeta’s fones in hopes of getting moar incriminating evidence about his Romancing the Bear. It was such a mistake. The shit – and I mean literal human feces – came pouring out, and I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to clean this mess up. Woe betide anyone else who tries this.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Can I have his shares of Rosneft?

    • emberglance

      We can see 13.8 billion light years out into deep space. We can grow an artificial sheep. We can fight remote control wars on the other side of the planet. It can’t be THAT hard to find out who really owns those Rosneft shares! C’mon Intelligence Community, earn that money and save America!

  • Nounverb911

    I see he’s been twittering all afternoon, anything intelligent?
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/838899465390018560

    • OrG

      What a dumbass! Also too he’s lying.

    • The Wanderer

      Meanwhile, a GM plant in Michigan is shedding 1100 jobs while creating 800 in Tennessee.

      • mancityRed6

        guess which one is right to work

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I thought Michigan went RTW a few years back?

      • Red Bird Ω

        A net -300 jobs? Success!

    • clubseal

      No need to ask how, just trust that he’s seriously expecting us to believe that the President somehow single handedly has the power to “bring back jobs.”

    • Martini Ambassador

      Ahhh, that was a spirit of optimism. I had seriously mistaken that for a mix of depression and steely resistance. Easy to mix that up.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Is that anything like teen spirit?

        • Lord Jim

          Here we are now. Entertain us.

      • The Wanderer

        I thought it was gas.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s not even close to the sheer deluded craziness of White House emails. And I quote:

      “The torch is now in our hands. And we will use it to light up the world.”
      – President Donald J. Trump
      Earlier this week, President Donald J. Trump stood in front of America and introduced a new chapter of American greatness; one full of prosperity, safety, and innovation.

      Building on his successful first 40 days in office, President Trump laid out bold plans to improve infrastructure, bolster national security, and ensure all Americans can achieve the American dream.

      President Trump’s speech resonated with legislators and Americans alike: ”

      He is bonkers, and so is the intern writing this drivel.

    • tehbaddr

      That is rich! When will his supporters wake up from the fascist, soft comfortable haze?

      • OrG

        Seen any flying pigs?…….Didn’t think so.

        • tehbaddr

          Actually saw a toy variant the other day, had wings and all. It looked fairly military in a way.

    • Persistent Demme

      “We’ve always been at war with East Asia.”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Weak. Read up on your Goebbels. Go for our throats Donald, not just about our jobs.

      We shall reach our goal, when we have the power to laugh as we destroy, as we smash, whatever was sacred to us as tradition, as education, and as human affection.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      He’s bringing Steve Jobs back from the dead? Wow! He is good.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Except those 1000 GM jobs in Michigan. Fuck those jobs.

    • thewalkindude

      Justifiable Obnoxious Battle for Survival

  • weejee

    On the Donald firing Comey, it likely tRrump has heard rumors about J Edgar Hoover blackmailing two-thirds of DC during his time as FBI Director. But even if Comey can document every fart or other tRump indiscretion, maybe tRump has Meyer Lanskiesque blackmail the blackmailer videos of Comey indiscretions.

    Anthony Summers, in his book Official and Confidential, claimed Hoover deliberately refused to crack down on organized crime because he was being blackmailed by the Mafia for living a secret life as a homosexual. Summers believes that Hoover was blackmailed after powerful Mafia boss Meyer Lansky, an associate of Frank Costello, obtained photographs of the FBI boss in a compromising position with his friend and top aide, Clyde Tolson.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Exhume and INPEACH!!

      • SayItWithWookies

        Trump will want to investigate who took the photos.

  • Rickyphoo

    Back in October I wanted nothing more then to see Comey head on the spiked fence around, what I’d thought would be Hilary’s WH, (figuratively, with votes, of course!), but seeing Comey fired by the same asshole he help elect will be even more delicious.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    These past few days have put an earworm into my brain. Red Buttons, of all things. What can I say, I grew up musically unorthodox.

    https://youtu.be/_Ta9180-EM4

    • Nounverb911

      Red Buttons can sing? Well not really…

    • Vecchioivan
    • LucindathePook

      He was great in They Shoot Horses and Sayonara.

      • Nounverb911

        Supporting Actor Oscar for Sayonara.

  • tehbaddr

    After toiling away all day, I came here to see what sort of hissy fit DRUMPF was having, and the newest kicking up of the sand lot dust. It seems to be still head on insanity!

  • Nounverb911

    Trump is talking the Harvey the Pooka an invisible 6 foot tall rabbit from the movie Harvey starring James Stewart.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c075b178e4c1f280afb549048698eea35e20fcf589161fb6f45946a4eedc902.jpg

  • snark-lurker

    ok you guys i will stop shouting SIDEBOOB!!!1!!

    • Ωbjectifier

      The downside to ad free, no more sidebar sideboob.

      • snark-lurker

        yeah heavy sigh **wipes tear from cheek**

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I’m all for sideboob. Apparently, there is also something called underboob, which I don’t find as sexy. Of course, plain old boob is the best.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Also, we don’t really know the difference between “wire taps” and other data collection, so that’s on us.

    That’s just one of the hinky things in this story. ‘Wire tap(p)’ can mean anything except a literal wire tap. No one has done that since we had land line phones routed through a Central Office.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Ωbjectifier

        We’re the phone company. We don’t care; we don’t have to.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          One ringy-dingy…….

    • Scrofula

      And you wouldn’t need a FISA (foreign surveillance) warrant to listen in to his phone calls.
      The FISA warrant picked up the damn server in his Tower talking to the Russian bank (and his four associates).
      So yes, he’s under surveillance, just not on his phone.

  • emberglance

    I watched Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates on a plane recently, expecting the worst and to my drunken suprise, it was PRETTY DAMN FUNNY. Also my crush on Aubrey Plaza went up 3 points before I passed out (possibly as a result).

    • Persistent Demme

      One of my girls looks so much like Aubrey Plaza that my other girl can’t bear to watch Parks and Recreation.

    • SnarkON

      Isn’t Aubrey Plaza where JFK got shot?

      • emberglance

        I don’t know but I’m a big fan of Grassy Knoll’s work with Russ Meyer.

  • aktlib101

    The parallels between Brexit and the election of our Little Shitler and the push by Conservatives to destroy social safety nets to enrich themselves and their cronies are beyond obvious
    From The Guardian:
    “Brexit is Theresa May’s Falklands war: a weapon of mass distraction”
    “Every morning we wake up to someone on the radio explaining, despairingly, that you can’t fix the hospital bed crisis until social care is fixed, and you can’t fix that until council tax brings in more, and it can’t bring in more because wages are too low. Every time a long-suffering public servant is called upon to explain the insufficiency of his or her service, and has to tell us again that the money simply isn’t there, we should take to the streets. But when everything breaks at the same time, that is not a coincidence: it is a plan. As surely as Margaret Thatcher had an economic plan on employment, rights, industry and wages, this century’s Conservatives have a plan on public services, which is to smash them beyond all recognition.”
    “Brexit, far more consequential than the Falklands war, nevertheless gives her the same battle dress: an armour of nationalistic fervour to neutralise what would otherwise be the constant question: if you love your country so much, why are you dismantling all that is good about it?
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/05/brexit-theresa-may-falklands-war-nhs-cuts

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Do we know anything about Russian efforts to influence the Brexit referendum?

    • sw19bunnies

      I remember when petrol/gas went above £1 per litre (thanks EU/Lincoln Chafee!) and Tony Bliar claimed that petrol duties had to stay in place in order to pay the poor overworked nurses.

      Plus ca change.

    • suziq

      Pshaw, don’t they know anything? To increase revenue you cut taxes. Done. Easy.

  • Nounverb911
    • tehbaddr

      That is such a great caricature, so close to the truth of his insanity!

  • Oneofthebobs

    If Trump fires Comey, he’ll have done one thing that Obama should have done.

  • Nounverb911
  • Mr. Blobfish

    We just booked a vacation to sunny Costa Rica for the last week of the month. We may not come back.

    • snark-lurker

      flying or swimming there?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Supposed to go to Paris the end of April. Big question, what horrible international incident will happen between now and then?

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        There are Muslims in France. It may go on the list.

  • LarryHoudini

    All I ask is that when everything finally comes out, there’s no room for anyone to complain about Deep State coups or Obama loyalists fucking over Trump. I want everyone who voted for him to realize he’s the total and irredeemable asshole that everyone else could easily see he was.
    Did you read that James Comey, aka Lionel Hutz, Esq.?

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Ain’t gonna happen. They’re delusional.

      • snark-lurker

        yeah but we can phantathize

    • AJ Milne

      I figure there will _always_ be holdouts complaining about this. Those damned democracy-overthrowing CIA guys, coup, just like Bay of Pigs and the harassment of legitimate fringe parties, yadda etc…

      My view: there’s things you need intelligence services _for_. Always were, always will be. And it’s looking pretty certain to me right now this thing is one of them. The active involvement of services themselves in the employ of foreign governments having already been established, you do kinda gotta break out that toolbox. It’s reasonable to have misgivings, to recognize there are hazards to this; sure, these can be very _sharp_ tools.

      But yeah, I kinda also think, those holdouts aside, it’s going to settle down mostly to: right, glad we had those people around, then. For all the hazards they can pose, where they are telling you what you need to know and might otherwise never have discovered, they absolutely _serve_ democracies.

  • shaar dula

    generic fuck you to the world. at large. No mood to elaborate.

    • snark-lurker

      no need to elaborate

      • Scrofula

        Unless he needs to vent, and it is entertaining.

        • snark-lurker

          just needs time to de-discombobulate

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            I call that taking shots of whiskey unail i wake up under the table. Must be a regional thing.

          • shaar dula

            you say whiskey, i say vodka. potahto, potayto. same difference, excuses to drown a sorrow are a many.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Can’t argue with that, sorrow futures are through the roof these days. Cheers, friend! I happily add another fuck to the world!

          • sw19bunnies

            recombobulate?

          • snark-lurker

            i donut know i a idiot

          • sw19bunnies

            mmm donuts….

          • snark-lurker

            yesss…doooonuts

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Milwaukee airport has a recombobulation area.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            That’s where they got Willie and Paul, if memory serves.

          • snark-lurker

            bigger one in Detroit

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            All I remember is the hallucinatory light tunnel.

          • At the crossroads, stay strong

            Aren’t we in a post-combobulate era?

        • shaar dula

          dear sir, my miseries are hopefully not a source of amusement to you.

          • Scrofula

            Of course not. But sometimes it helps to vent by turning a tragedy into comedy, when possible.

    • Villago Delenda Est
    • Me not sure

      Careful. The world will fuck you back so hard. It’s spiteful that way.

  • shaar dula

    BTW arms sore from flying the red white & blue freedom flags.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I can’t wait for the inevitable #trumpgrets social media post from private citizen James Comey when he is eventually cut loose.

  • schmannity

    Headline at Alex Jones’ Infowars:

    Supreme Court Scraps Obama’s Tranny Bathroom Policy.

    You all are lots of fun, but trolling in the murky waters of Infowars (day 2) is very entertaining.

    • SnarkON

      No snark: How can anyone be entertained by that cesspool? Just knowing people like that A. Exist, B. Voted and C. Now essentially control the fate of the planet makes me want to kill myself.

      • Scrofula

        And they won’t let you write “fuck” in the comments.

        • sw19bunnies

          Writing shit is de rigeur tho.

      • schmannity

        How can anyone be entertained by that cesspool?

        Three words: sudden cardiac event.

      • sw19bunnies

        Bad news: President Pence will make suicide illegal, as a mortal sin (sic) against the almighty in his New Theocracy.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Attempted suicide can get you the death penalty.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Make
          Suicide
          Painful
          Again

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          That should make for some interesting trials.

          Prosecutor: Did you, Mr. Simpson, willfully hang yourself on or about the 17th of April?
          Mr. Simpson: ‘No answer’
          Prosecutor: Let the record show that Mr. Simpson has refused to cooperate with the court and is seriously in danger of being in contempt of court.

        • Biff52

          I can take or leave it if I choose.

        • Yr. Gma

          So will the punishment for suicide be the death penalty?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I read National Review Online occasionally, mainly so I can watch George Will and Bill Kristol slowly unravel. The commenters there are slightly less insane than elsewhere in the RWNJ entertaintment complex, but still morons.

    • mancityRed6

      I went to WND today. Good god, Reagan did some serious damage to the mental healthcare in this country.

      • schmannity

        Personally and presidentially.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        In hindsight, closing the mental hospitals and replacing them with talk radio perhaps wasn’t the best strategy.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You, my friend, have an interesting definition of “entertaining”.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I want a policy where I don’t have to worry about walking into a stall and having to put down 5 layers of those paper toilet seat covers because some dude was too lazy to raise the fucking seat. Aim properly. Point and shoot. It’s not an experimental rocket launch. Damn.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Those are the same fucking assholes who destroyed Alderaan. There are many, many times I am embarrassed to have been born male.

        • Juan de Fuca

          If they can’t hit the inside of a toilet bowl from two feet away, they probably would’ve missed Alderaan by at least eleventy zillion arsecs or something.

      • Yr. Gma

        Women do it, too. What was that Oprah saying? “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.”

    • Treg Brown
      • Yr. Gma

        Will do!

  • Gosala
    • tehbaddr

      WOW! The hidden story is Aldi’s free spider. An Aldi’s recently opened close by me and I procured some of their packaged goods. I want an Aldi’s spider!

      • Suttree

        Aldi’s in Newark has such a great selection of not white people stuff. Their selection of spices is awesome! Sausages also too.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Good customer service is such a rarity. I’m guessing Rob is gay, because he’s pretty snarky, and because I want him to be gay.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So apparently the Rethuglicans are keeping all the good things about Obamacare, but have no mechanism for paying for it (no tax on medical devices, no fines if you don’t get insurance, no taxes on prescription drugs). GREAT! We’re back to the “you get a pony, and you get a pony, and nobody ever has to pay for it!” form of government. Anyone care to guess what the national debt will be in another 8 years? I’ve got $30 trillion.

    • mancityRed6

      it depends on how they pay for the wall

      • Me not sure

        Ironically, it will probably be with a tax on medical devices.

      • Suttree

        And the massive increase in “defense spending”. $58B ain’t gonna be a shitty little drop in the bucket.

      • sw19bunnies

        Mexico is paying for the hahaahhah!!!!!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Wasn’t that wall going to be built on Trump’s first day in office?

        • OrG

          It’s already built.The lying media won’t report it.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            You libtard snowflakes just don’t get it. it was finished on day one. It’s a psychological barrier that prevents people from wanting to try coming in.

          • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

            Its a psychological barrier of the rest of the world looking at US America and saying “wow those people are fucked! Hell no we are not going there. North Korea looks like a better bet”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I see their principles are clear as ever: Obamacare is a disaster and we won’t accept anything that undoes the gains we made under Obamacare.

      See also: emails

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Couponcare will provide just enough coverage for you to be diagnosed as terminally ill but no coverage for you to get treated and if by a miracle you do happen to survive it doesn’t matter because you won’t be able to get any insurance in the future anyway.

    • OrG

      Reagan proved deficits don’t matter – dick cheney

    • Greyhame

      When the whole thing collapses under the strain of their meddling, they’ll just blame Obama.

  • JD Mulvey

    Of course Comey’s not worried. If Trump gives him the ol’ You’re Fired™, then Comey goes and spills all the secrets. Job security!

    • SnarkON

      #nda

      • Suttree

        Serious question. Are NDA’s standard for positions like this, or is this a new Turnip thing?

        • SnarkON

          Not sure. I just don’t imagine an ex-FBI guy is going to spill much. To be fair all I know about the inner workings of the FBI is what I see on crime dramas.

      • JD Mulvey

        Trump makes everybody sign those things –but guess what? They’re almost worthless. Comey’s a lawyer and Trump’s an idiot. I’d love to see Trump humiliated in court –and the precedent would make all the others with those POS agreements come out of the woodwork.

        • Red Bird Ω

          I hope you’re right.

          • JD Mulvey

            Courts traditionally view them with scepticism even in legitimate uses –so, for instance, if you work somewhere that makes you privy to trade secrets or intellectual property.

            I’d laugh my head off at a case of a politician suing somebody –in law enforcement, no less –for disclosing evidence of criminal wrongdoing.

            Trump gets away with these things because he can outspend people with endless frivolous lawsuits brought by his crooked, unethical team of lawyers. I would relish somebody challenging him, and like I said, all it takes is one winner and all the others would be seen to be useless too.

          • Red Bird Ω

            That’s good to know. A lot of companies have NDAs hidden in their employment contracts or written into the employee handbook if it isn’t a contract job.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Worked for J Edgar.

      • JD Mulvey

        Comey could be around for decades.

  • Apple Scruff
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Carson is fucking nuts. I mean seriously mentally ill, or high on Oxycontin, or he’s got early dementia.

      • Biff52

        That became evident the day he filed for preznit.

      • Rags

        with 4-5, these are features, not bugs.

    • suziq

      Has Ben Carson done anything with/for HUD? You know, his job? Though maybe it would be better if he just slept for the next four years. He seems to be having strange dreams.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        He’s still trying to figure out what HUD stands for.

  • Jennifer R

    I know everyone already knows about HPLovecat and @NihilistArbys, but go take a look at @erowidrecruiter.

    • mancityRed6
    • tehbaddr

      The disturbing chaos of the spiral fries is maddening!

      • Jennifer R

        I could go for some grease and cornsyrup!

  • Nounverb911

    Maybe he’ll caddy for donnie…

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/838886996974137345

    • Blackest Noobs
    • Treg Brown
      • Prof. T. Green Bastard

        “O’Doyle rules!”

      • ariel_gee_398

        You know how republicans cross they street if they see a brown person? He’s the kind of person I cross the street to avoid.

      • OrG

        Hate to judge someone on their looks.But I will TURD!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        He’ll be in charge of downward revision of trump’s golf scorecards….

      • Msgr_MΩment

        This one? Has he grown up yet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWXp6RN0nOo

      • He has orange-flavored teeth.

      • BadKitty904

        Leave it to Trump to hire Biff Tannen, the bully from the back to the Future movies…

        • Treg Brown

          He’s definitely moved to my top ten most punchable in the face with votes or kittens list.

          • BadKitty904

            And you’re big enough to do it, too. Sic ‘im, tger!

        • DainBramage

          Oops. You beat me to the Biff.

          • BadKitty904

            It can’t not be said.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Those evil bastards are building an army of Gary Busey clones. I tried to warn you all!

      • DainBramage

        Biff Tannen wannabe.

        • Biff52

          I didn’t do anything!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Early in 2008, Rudy Giuliani’s son was kicked off the Duke University golf team. The coach portrayed the kid as a hot-headed bully. Andrew Giuliani fired back with a lawsuit. http://www.golfdigest.com/story/kindred-2008-12

        Ah, civil service. The best and the brightest.

        • Treg Brown

          Jesus. SMH

      • tehbaddr

        “Enjoys punching people, extended walks an the golf course, and pissing on others”.

  • Lefty Wright

    I hope Trump makes it at least another year. This gives more time and rope for the GOP toadies in congress to hang themselves. And this time, I mean with votes. Pence will be no better, possibly worse since he wants to tinker with Social Security and Medicare. Having all this Trump cap blow up in their faces the summer of 2018 would give them little time to dissociate themselves from Trump. Kicking him out now simply allows them a year and a half to pin the blame on Trump and Obama.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Looks like the Rethug rats are jumping from the SS Repealandreplace: Not enough Medicaid money protection for states that did the expansion. Paul Ryan’s plan for Couponcare (“here is a $100 coupon for your next check-up but now just go and die of cancer.”) will be DOA.

  • mancityRed6

    I love thunderstorms.
    Either that was a small explosion or it was thunder from 30 miles away

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      This is Lawrence. Kansas. Is anybody there?

      • mancityRed6

        I don’t think I even knew where Lawrence was when that movie came out. My parents spent all our time in KCMO.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I could have been an extra on the set but I was too nerdy and instead, went to my grad school classes but caught some of the scenes being filmed in my off hours. Even the sets were disturbing.

      • Yr. Gma

        Somebody once told me there is a great Chinese restaurant in Lawrence.

        • mancityRed6

          I know of a couple of cheap ones. And I know a good Japanese noodle bowl place.

    • Picabo
      • mancityRed6

        I used to sit outside in the hot summer and watch the storms come close on radar, only to die or split around Clinton Lake, west of town.
        But I’m back in Olathe, and the storms usually pick up their full power again once they get this far.
        It has gotten a little chillier since I’ve been out here.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Back in the day, I served as a park ranger in Olathe. I would bike between OP and Olathe every day. It was the best of times.

      • mancityRed6
        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I miss the big tornadoes. You are SO lucky. Used to chase them back in the 80s in Kansas. Got underneath one once at 103rd and Roe in Overland Park. I almost had an incident in my pants. Not yellow.

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve never seen one.
            I’ve been close to a couple of straight line winds, but I’ve never been any nearer than 5 miles either in Lawrence or Joplin.
            Ooh, I just saw lightning.

    • sw19bunnies

      I got told off for hiking up to the top of the escarpment in the middle of the night, on my own, during a winter storm.
      Where is people’s sense of adventure?

    • Picabo

      I use Weather Underground. It got me through Hurricane Matthew. Highly recommended.
      Here is the METAR for your area. METAR KOJC 062353Z 19020G32KT 10SM CLR 23/14 A2946 RMK AO2 PK WND 19041/2323 SLP967 T02280144 10233 20206 57021
      Yes I am a weather nerd. Have been since I saw an F-4 when I was 16. It was about 10 miles away. I do not want to see one again. Stay safe.

      • mancityRed6

        I’ll be fine. I paid $100 for this rock that keeps tornadoes away.
        Also, tigers.

      • mancityRed6

        I like WU’s radar, but their phone app putzed out on me.
        I wish the NOAA actually put out some kind of weather app. I’d even be willing to pay for it.

    • Nounverb911
      • mancityRed6

        I’ve been counting, the longest gap between any flashes on the horizon was about 5 seconds.

  • Nounverb911
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Doesn’t Chaffetz have science cartoons to investigate?

      • Bill D. Burger

        And there must be an email of Hillz’ that hasn’t been decoded….like the one with a strawberry jam recipe. (*Obviously a ‘red’ Communist plot.)

    • Michael R

      Let me jump to the conclusion of this research ….
      Donald Trump is a pathological liar and a complete fraud .

    • Jamoche

      Is Miss Lindsey being snarky with that “right to do so”? Because the results are either going to be “nothing to see here”, and Donnie comes out looking even more unhinged, or there is something to see and it’ll have to have been something major to get approval.

      • sw19bunnies

        Miss Lindsay is out to get him.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          From your lips to god’s ears.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Do you get the feeling they just can’t figure out how to come at this thing by any angle that isn’t obtuse?

        I mean, you have a candidate/President that parrots Kremlin talking points, he has a more than two decades of deep associations with former KGB/FSB/Russian mob folks, and he and everybody in his inner circle compulsively lie about the subject of Russians they talk to or Russia’s hybrid warfare, etc.

        • Jamoche

          They still think they have to “reach out” to the Red bubble voters.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Guess who gets to pay for that investigation? Hint: the same people who are paying for that orange goon to take every weekend off in Florida.

      • yyyaz

        Not to mention the rest of his spawn grifting around the world. On “official business,” of course.

    • DainBramage

      Are they going to investigate the pathological dysfunction that causes Donnie to believe everything coming from Blightfart?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I think we all know the answer to that one: S. Bannon?

    • Greyhame

      Maybe they’ll uncover a private email server in the basement of Trump Tower.

  • BadKitty904

    Republicans Just Made It Easier for Companies to Exploit Workers
    The GOP Congress vacated an Obama executive order that would have punished federal contractors that rip off or endanger employees.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/republicans-exploit-workers_us_58bdb96de4b0d8c45f4565f8?g6r5omcc54eyd5cdi&

    • snark-lurker

      of course they did

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Bill D. Burger

    If the Republicans gave a shit about the health of our government, our republic and the damage being done to the office of the president specifically, they would be clamoring to investigate the FUBAR Trump freak show and his irresponsible, dangerously unhinged and mendacious Twitter fits and incendiary claims.
    If Trump were removed tomorrow, the damage he’s already done, the violence he’s already committed to his office and to our form of government and governing would still take years, maybe decades, to heal.

    • sw19bunnies

      They don’t want to seem too indecently hasty in impeaching the loose cannon and installing Pence as 46.

      6-12 months.

      • SterWonk

        The want 45 to sign off on “tax reform”, then they’ll jettison him. Then, when it turns out that most people’s effective taxes go up, Pence will be able to lay blame on 45 (and please ignore all those GOPers in Congress who sent it to him in the first place).

    • yyyaz

      “If the Republicans gave a shit…” That “if” would have to visible on the Moon to be big enough.

    • snark-lurker

      our congresscritters in general and republicans in particular

    • BadKitty904
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Miss Lindsey is saying we should investigate Trump’s claims about wiretapping. She’s going to give Trump enough rope to hang himself.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So the Marine ladies getting photographed naked, and pictures shared on FB is barely a story because of Trump’s continued insanity.

    • puredog

      My primary reaction to that story — because I am a truly terrible hooman bean — is pix or GTFO.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That explains the username!

    • tehbaddr

      Needs a link, or it didn’t happen.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    CNN just showed a video of president Bannon in the WH completely losing his shit and screaming at someone (Trump?).

    • Sardonicuss
    • snark-lurker

      sorry i missed that

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        They just played it again. Watching Bannon scream is kind of fun, because you know he’s blaming everyone else for Trump being an asshole.

  • BadKitty904

    He shoulda stuck with his “Ready Rice”…

    Ben Carson: Slaves Were Immigrants Who Came Here and Worked Really Hard ‘For Less’
    Ben Carson made his debut as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Monday by telling agency employees about the virtues of the “can-do” American society. Carson said this value system was best exemplified by slaves, whom he characterized as immigrants who came to the United States with very little and worked very hard.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ben-carson-slaves-immigrants_us_58bdbf1fe4b033be1467634f?dyi5ynuc15gclerk9&

  • Greyhame

    My Hail Mary prediction from several months ago was that the only thing that could possibly be worse for the GOP in the long run than a Trump defeat in the upcoming election, might actually be a Trump victory.

    • DainBramage

      From your lips to Manwë’s ears, Mithrandir.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        O Elbereth!

  • ariel_gee_398

    It seems like the Ryancare bill gets rid of the mandate (a tax penalty paid to the gov) and replaces it with a 30% surcharge that goes to insurance companies. So, just like Obamacare, but with 30% more corporate profiteering. Sounds about right. https://twitter.com/jamiedupree/status/838908696159735811

  • Nounverb911
  • CeeQ

    Come for the crazy, stay for the insightful journalism and the ban on comments.

  • Red Bird Ω

    I’m glad this Monday is almost over. This week is already looking like a mess. Government should never be this interesting.

    • SterWonk

      Government should never be this interesting.

      THIS. So very, very much this.

      It’s like this ad I heard on the radio for <some big bank>: “Are you bored with your money market account?” — The fuck?!? It’s supposed to be boring! If I wanted excitement, I would have invested in specific stocks! If I put money in a money market account, boring is good!

    • snark-lurker

      ah but it is

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Government should be like my one neighbor’s dog, one of those that looks like if you put a mop handle up his ass you could turn him into something useful. The dog just sits around, does nothing. Boring. Good dog. Good government.

      Now on the other side is a larger dog. Barks all the time for no known purpose, comes over into my yard, shits on my property, chases my cat, runs off the birds and squirrels which I like. Tears up newspapers and scatters the parts. Pain in the ass. That’s Trump. Where’s he gonna shit this morning? I don’t need that.

      • Red Bird Ω

        So, was Obama the sleepy boring dog?

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Hardly. The issue was government in general. With decent bureaucrats (and most are), a congress that understands cooperation and best interests of all, and good leaders government should function with less fuss and fury than we have now. I was making no comment regarding Obama’s terms. I deeply admire and appreciate his 8 years and profoundly miss him.

          I was born during FDR’s 2nd term. I remember many days when government was much less in the news during administrations that followed. The shitting dog that we have now in the White House is a travesty.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Red Bird Ω

      I’m sure he has a personal stylist.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Carson Kressley?

    • Sardonicuss

      The absolute only redeeming thing in this horror show…My President living his best life at last!

    • CeeQ

      Hey Boo. I miss you.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Hiyas! How ya been?

        • CeeQ

          OH UM. I was talking to hot POTUS behind you…!!!

          But whatever – you’re a Wonker so therefore also = my Boo.

          🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • Scrofula

      He moved away from the “mom jeans” thing, but they’re still pretty stiff.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Oh, shit, looks like Priebus is out in the near future. Trump is furious that Priebus can’t retroactively remove Trump’s tweets that are full of outrageous lies?

    • Blackest Noobs

      que?

    • Sardonicuss

      Oh..he was a set up scape goat from the get go. Wasnt even involved in the campaign..but gives up the cushy do nothin RNC chair.
      He is first in line at the under the bus stop.

      • Scrofula

        All along he’s even LOOKED like some terrified lamb about to be led to the altar.

        • Sardonicuss

          Bannon’s outer throw away panty shield.
          KAC will outlive him.

    • tehbaddr

      Is it just me, or is it kinda fun watching at all start to unravel and dissolve around him?

      • Egg Baby

        It’s way more entertaining than Watergate.

        • tehbaddr

          That was suspenseful, but boring. And then Ford.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Trump reminds me of that horrible boss who makes a terrible error, and then starts screaming at you “why did YOU insist we do it that way?” Uhhh…because you told me to?

        • Blackest Noobs

          he is actually worse than that.

        • tehbaddr

          Yup, running on vague ideas and brain-stem!

      • TJ Barke

        I’ll only be able to enjoy it retroactively once he’s been indicted.

  • Nounverb911

    Mexico’s Trump Troll in Chief is at it again…
    https://twitter.com/VicenteFoxQue/status/838863015449591808

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Michael R

    Mark Spitz is on the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour
    tonight if you’re tired of this decade .

  • Nounverb911
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The best thing to come out of Trump’s campaign and presidency has been watching Ana Navarro lose her shit almost constantly. She’s still a Republican though.

      • Maybe not anymore if they keep this shit up. She might try to split the right. That’ll make for interesting times

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I still can’t believe they GOP has become so unhinged, and they still get elected. Please let them fuck things up so badly this time that they just disappear for 50 years.

          • Look at the Reform Party in Canada. That mess fucked up the political landscape for 20 + years already, ate the most oxymoronically named thing ever (the Progressive Conservative Party), and it’s redheaded bastard step child has 4 quasi-Trumps running to take over

    • TJ Barke

      I qualified for the spelling bee in 3rd grade, but then I realized that was waaaaay too much pressure, man…

  • Blackest Noobs

    The KKK took my democracy away
    They took it away
    Away from me
    The KKK took my democracy away
    They took it away
    Away from me

    • RIP Joey and most of the rest of the band

    • Msgr_MΩment

      There’s no stoppin’
      The cretins from governin’.

  • boyblue122

    This has to be one of the funniest headlines ive seen so far

    https://twitter.com/Slate/status/838867328582443008

    • Thiazin Red

      I guess. If they put him there to keep Trump from doing stupid crazy shit, he hasn’t done a very good job.

      • boyblue122

        Yeah, but Trump is mentally unhinged. Doesnt matter who is in charge really

        • Thiazin Red

          I’m not saying anyone would have done better. The only way would be physical restraints, sedation, and changing all the passwords on his phones.

          • boyblue122

            and maybe a padded cell

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Duct tape is also quite useful.

        • Me The People

          It’s the classic ‘Apprentice’ lame excuse from someone who has failed the task – “I may have fucked up, yes – but YOU FAILED TO CONTROL ME!”

    • puredog

      So Becca — HOW DID YOU KNOW?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      No. Syphilis maybe, but Rinsed Penis.

    • puredog

      The article itself is pretty hilarious, too.

    • Me The People

      You could probably post on Breitbart a couple of times that you heard that Priebus was taking orders from Goldstein Obama, wait 24 hours and then see it out of Trumps mouth or twitter.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Are Trump’s surrogates now leaking on the leakers who have been leaking about the leaks?

      • boyblue122

        i wonder if the “unnamed source” is Trump

        “Many people are saying its Priebus’ fault”

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          John Barron in the Lincoln bedroom with a tweet?

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Well. I’m not sure where the line between a semi-old and an old is, but as I just had the thought “Oh that Chance the Rapper seems like such a nice fellow” pass through my brain, I have apparently crossed it.

    • Thiazin Red

      My personal line is if I make a reference to thing that was very popular, but none of the people I’m talking to have any idea what it is.

      Or, when the clothing you wore in middle school is now popular among the young people.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Oh man, both of those things happened at least a few years ago. Ok, but if I’m officially an old, I don’t have to give one single fuck about what others think anymore, right? That’s the deal?

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Feel free to break out the polyester and wear your pants 3/4 of the way up from your hips to your nips, old timer.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Hey! That’s MY look.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Done and done.

      • Persistent Demme

        One of my girls once said wistfully: “You had such great clothes in the 70’s. I wish they were still around. The fashions were really cool.”
        What??!!

    • Yr. Gma

      It’s a relief when you know you have crossed it because you never have to try to sound hip anymore. Or hep. Or with it. Or outta sight. or something.

      • Thiazin Red

        I wonder sometimes if the fact that I was never cool or pretty is an advantage during aging. No looks to lose, and I was never with it anyway so being uncool to kids is nothing new, so I don’t really care about it.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          You will always be cool and pretty to me.

      • Scrofula

        C’mon grannie, I know you were a regular snake charmer in your flapper days, beating off the forty-niners.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Yeah, I think the trade offs thus far are well worth it.

  • Dazza

    Sorry if this has already been posted, but the head of Australia’s Security and Intelligence Agency (ASIS) was stopped by Homeland Security at LAX. Are we now an enemy of the US?

    Well – you leave us no choice. Deploy the spiders!

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141721517

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d81a1f2e70078c6b48f0d37909e49b14c3da6e638f201c75c6e51f8773d712a.jpg

    • Scrofula

      Praise Jebus that’s shooped.

      • Dazza

        It’s a bird-eating spider.

        • Yeah. Aside from no desire to spend 24 + hours on a plane. Austraila just ain’t gonna happen

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Go for New Zealand instead. Sorry, Ozzies, but the Kiwis live in a paradise. I was there 20 years ago and still is with me often.

          • Scrofula

            Except for that Mordor part.

          • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

            Even the Mordor part! Hiked in that park there my 3rd day. True, the storm that blew up midday made it a little miserable, but by FSM, that’s a goegeous place!

          • Yr. Gma

            Also a great place (with really impressive earthquakes.)

          • Yr. Gma

            It’s a gorgeous place, and they don’t have those spiders walking up and down the streets of Melbourne.

          • Scrofula

            Besides, you have to look up for the drop bears anyway.

        • Scrofula

          Yeah, but the grain on the background gives it away pretty bad.
          ANyway, not like you don’t have an entire continent of hostile flauna and flora to kill us all.

        • Scrofula
          • Scrofula

            Sorry for the stupid meme on that; should’ve cut it out.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Holy fuck.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            WE’RE DOOMED!!!

        • Bill D. Burger

          That puppy could take down an emu!

      • tehbaddr

        I can tell… Oh why even bother anymore

        • Dazza

          Actually it’s a real thing. The goliath bird-eating spider is a resident of Queensland. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dac688c379d7fbb433d06214b56af9cce698dfc8bf4857f4993557e885bfdbf6.jpg

          • Scrofula

            I KNOW it’s huge and terrifying and real. But they did blow up the spider side on your first post (maybe clearer on a laptop screen?)

          • Bill D. Burger

            it’s the funnel web spiders ya’ got to be careful of Down Under. They iz’ mean and totally fearless!

            http://i.imgur.com/SGCbMLY.gif

          • Lamashtar

            I don’t like where this thread is going.

          • Dazza

            Yeah, They’re pretty stroppy.

          • tehbaddr

            I lived in Queensland for a few years and never saw one. Maybe that was on of them critters making strange noises at me on my way home from the pub at night.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ASIS / ISIS. I think you see the problem here.

    • Sardonicuss

      Hey…we don’t have enough monsters of our own?

    • ummm do you even remember the insults hurled at our dear leader by yours? in the very first days of his blossoming administration?

      do not kid yourself. we will never forget.

      (also, that is a fucking terrifying – and rather beautiful – thing).

    • Idaho4644

      That’s either a really big spider or a normal sized spider with Donald Trump

    • Bill D. Burger
      • OrG

        I love that movie.

        • David Clark

          “Them”? Not sure.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Just another day in SoCal.

    • Michael R

      It looks bigger than it is next to Trump’s hand .

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Never been happier to be reading on a phone.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • HogeyeGrex

        bastard.

        Note to self. refresh before post.

    • HogeyeGrex
    • TJ Barke
    • TJ Barke

      There is no god.

      • OrG

        Lemmy libelz!

        • TJ Barke

          He’s dead now, so, what I said stands.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I can deal with the big spiders. But please keep those instant-death, practically-invisible teeny-tiny box jellies to yourselves. Thank you very much.

      • Scrofula

        Irikandji-somethings? Yeah, fuck those right the hell off.

      • Dazza

        OK

    • shivaskeeper

      South American spider. Goliath Bird-Eater. And yes, that is a normal sized hand.

      • Dazza

        You’re right. I was wrong. The Queensland bird-eating spider photo was post elsewhere on this thread.

  • Thiazin Red

    Ugh, this boxy shapeless trend in women’s clothing needs to be over two seasons ago. Its a prime example of things that look good on models, people with the proportions of models, and no one else.

    • Having hips and boobs is expensive as fuck to dress

      • Thiazin Red

        I just bought some bras and that is too true.

      • snark-lurker

        but i love hips & boobs

    • snark-lurker

      ??

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I feel this way about skinny jeans. It’s really freaking hard to find straight-leg jeans. It’s freaking annoying.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I am profoundly, deeply, and totally unconcerned about fashion trends.

      • yyyaz

        Me too, squared.

      • Thiazin Red

        The problem is that when a style takes over you can’t find anything else.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I am fortunate enough to live in the People’s Republic of Portland. And I can get away with jeans, comfy big tops, and Danskos. Both in my private life and at work. I’m sorry you’re having trouble finding decent clothes.

      • Sister the Resister

        Me too, though I’m delighted when those rare moments of Trend crossover with Something I’d Actually Wear; I usually buy up a bunch of whatever it is when it goes on sale, which it will, Because Trend. Also a thrift store shopper. Thus my wardrobe includes items from the last 30+ years, and I bet I haven’t spent more than $1500 on the lot. I’m a cheap bastard.

        And yes, NW Oregon, not just the Republic of Pdx, is a pretty easy place to dress how the fuck you want. One of my fave memories when I first moved to Eugene almost 30 years ago was going to a nice steak and seafood restaurant, and there were people dressed in everything from gowns (probably a prom somewhere) to suits and nice dresses, to clean t-shirts and jeans. And it all worked – no one seemed uncomfortable, and everyone was enjoying their own way of going out.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I was so frustrated trying to find something new for spring.

      • Thiazin Red

        Fitted with sleeves doesn’t seem like it would be too much to ask.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Right? If it’s sleeveless I need a sweater for office AC and those are all shapeless too

    • clubseal
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Damn, Robert Osborne died today.

    • Sardonicuss

      The only thing I have missed after two years of cord cut is TCM

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That’s about the only channel I watch, other than CNN and Bravo (my guilty pleasure is the RHOBH).

        • Sardonicuss

          The first election I ever went through without cable.
          Think I made the right choice. The MSNBC stuff I saw on the internet alone almost did me in.

      • David Clark

        Try being held hostage by a monopolistic cable company in a one-cable-company town which doesn’t offer TCM. Fuck you, Cogeco. Also and as well, said company wants to charge me extra for MSNBC–and only in standard definition at that. Fuckers. Wish to Christ I lived on the other side of my building (no line-of-sight to the satellites). Fucking physics.

        • Sardonicuss

          Yep. The Fox monopoly on the smaller cable companies is what made me finally snap.
          I had Direct TV and thier onerous bill creep too.
          Now it is OTA with 30 channels, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO and Netfilix over my phone data connection at 1/3 the price.
          Don’t miss any of it ..except TCM …a bit.

    • chascates

      I’m really tired of hearing about people I admired dying. Someone needs to put a stop to that bullshit.

      • Sardonicuss

        On it – God

        • clubseal

          Or in the alternative, my favorite:
          “Don’t make me come down there.”
          – God

          • Sardonicuss

            What did I tell you! – God

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Bill D. Burger

      SooWee Sarah Huckabee?

    • tehbaddr

      Frugg like you just don’t care!

  • Bill D. Burger

    House Republicans just introduced their bill to repeal and replace Obamacare
    Updated by Sarah Kliffsarah@vox.com Mar 6, 2017, 6:05pm EST

    Iffin’ you want to wade through it, you can see the Repuke “American Health Care Act” that’s being crapped out to begin its looong march to replace the ACA.

    Right now, the American Health Care Act is two bills —
    one from the Energy and Commerce Committee (66pp)
    and one from the Ways and Means Committee (57pp)

    http://www.vox.com/obamacare/2017/3/6/14836586/obamacare-repeal-replace-american-health-care-act-full-text

  • Lefty Wright

    The GOP has released their new health insurance plan and as expected, it’s a shitburger.

    • Nounverb911

      Ryandoesntcare?

    • Michael R

      One per family , not valid in the USA

      https://s22.postimg.org/8ayawhszl/band_aid_bandaid.jpg

      • Biff52

        I’m running out of reasons to stay in USAmerica, anyway…

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Don’t forget the supplemental plan: Shitburger Helper.

    • boyblue122

      they are going out of their way to lose the midterms by using healthcare as a wedge issue

      • artem1s

        your mouth to FSM noodly appendages

        • boyblue122

          ramen

    • Ωbjectifier

      It’s DOA. How can insurers be required to cover pre-existing without a mandate? That would cost them a fortune, can’t have that. Unless I’m missing something more foul and devious, which I probably am.

    • Dazza

      The most disgusting part is the tax break for health insurance companies whose executives earn more than $500,000 per year. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a37384d750a0653d292f89774571c3ffe64ac0657a57243a4797bb5d9716e5c.jpg

    • cheetojeebus

      I wonder how the insurance companies will react? They can’t be happy about this shit.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Which part causes the biggest rage stroke? The requirement to include home equity as part of the calculation before someone is eligible for Medicaid? The return of caps on coverage? The 30% penalty that an insurance company can charge you if your coverage lapsed for more than 63 days?

    • tehbaddr

      Lettuce tomato and onion bits available on said delight? Hell, can I supersize that shit!

  • BadKitty904

    Donald Trump Gets to Decide Whether You Get Deserve Overtime Pay
    Millions of workers could lose their shot at extra pay and family time.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-overtime-pay_us_58b75299e4b019d36d108dd3?puguazjvd4gvf5hfr&amp;

    • Lefty Wright

      I wonder how many people affected by Obama’s overtime rules update, or people making at or near the current federal minimum wage voted for Trump? And possibly had health insurance through the ACA.

      • BadKitty904

        Not enough.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Probably the same people who hated Obamacare but love the ACA. These are the kind of people who would say, “I don’t need a vehicle. I have a car.”

    • TJ Barke

      Tell us more about how the fuck the workers party is good for working Americans…

  • memzilla Ω
    • Nounverb911

      Sarah Palin’s been using that for years….

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Sarah, who?

  • Nick Scroggs

    Since it’s an open thread, and I want someone to listen to me, I’m just gonna say that I am not looking forward to classes this week. Just want this quarter over, and frankly I can’t stand the book we have to read for Madness and Eugenics. I mean it’s the one involving how environmentalism was formed by eugenic foundations in the 1900s, and that author says it’s still going on in like the Sierra Club or something. What do you when something you’ve loved, been curious and amazed by, just gets turned into a guilt by association thing, or just, you collapse and say “You were right, I’ll stop caring about the world.” I am not those guys, from the past, who advocated for sterilization and “purity”, I loved being outdoors since I was a kid, I’m concerned about pollution and overpopulation, I am concerned for species going extinct. But, what do you say to a professor who is skeptical of probably all science, and doctors, and such, and god I want a drink. I know this site’s about snark and not soul-bearing, but screw it, I said it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Since it’s an open thread, and I want someone to listen to me, I’m just gonna say that I am not looking forward to classes this week.

      You teach, too?

    • Alan

      I thought only stupid people believed that stupid argument.

    • Paperless Tiger

      I can’t figure out why some of loudest proponents of the Master Race are such inferior specimens. I thought the whole point was quality control.

    • suziq

      When is the quarter over? Do you get to do reviews of the professors? Start working on that for entertainment. Or if you have to write a paper on that bullcrap make it over-the-top agreeing with everything he obviously believes. IF the person/people that started environmentalism were eugenicists it doesn’t mean that they have anything to do with each other. Scientists can tell you the truth about the environment. Whatever that professor’s specialty is it obviously is not science-related so fuck it. Could have/should have been an interesting class but at least it is only one quarter.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Gonna say, I’m not exactly comfortable being on Wonkette, but at least you guys don’t hold back, which helps out a lot. Also, the prof is statistics, data, and looking into the mid-19th-century asylums, those were bad. Not sure what my point is, now I gotta go. Later.

        • suziq

          Sorry we scared you away-we are very snarky but not all that vile! I really liked statistics in college but don’t really get the intersection with 19th century asylums. But they have classes in everything and anything so why not? Good luck with the class anyway.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Thanks.

    • Persistent Demme

      I suppose that it’s good to know the roots of this movement, but I think NASA and looking back at the earth from space had a lot to do with people taking environmentalism seriously.
      When they realized that this beautiful blue ball was so fragile, something clicked.

      Anyway…must be frustrating.
      Just be glad you don’t live in this professor’s head, and go for a nice hike.

  • Picabo
    • Lamb Urgini

      This reminded me of a great 1966 garage song

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcz2rjELj2E

    • Bill D. Burger

      Lil’ Jeffy Sessions needed that. He ‘couldn’t recall’ (over and over) ANY information concerning his meeting with the Russian ambassador that related to the campaign or Trump….but, amazingly, had no trouble recalling all sorts of other details.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Perhaps a bit wordy , but how about : MAKE AMERICA SOMETHING AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I DON’T RECALL WHAT THAT SOMETHING WAS

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I realize this is an exercise in futility, but to to everyone in the Trump trainwreck administration and to everyone who mindlessly supports it:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/65017e892ffb808167b09581726878e19793d081166c1b1498543b172364fbe0.jpg

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      A sin when willful, or otherwise inexcusable.

    • Alan

      Yep, that’s the problem.

    • Jamoche

      Ignorance is curable. Stupid goes down to the bone.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You can’t fix stupid. Ever.

        • OrG

          You can.Commenting rules forbid me from saying how.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            There is a difference between “fixing” and “stopping”. Commenting rules won’t let me get more detailed.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        It’s when you know it’s ignorant but embrace it anyway that makes it unpardonable, because if you didn’t it would bring your whole house of delusions crashing down.
        https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/e/edgarallanpoe/385623/edgarallanpoe1.jpg

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Has anybody posted this yet?

    https://youtu.be/8x77lW59Lys

    I love John Oliver.

    • Blackest Noobs

      oooooh Barry definitely did it..i mean come on guys….he’s black for crying out loud.

      • boyblue122

        He was last seen holding one of those spy umbrellas as he was walking away from the WH. Thats what tipped Trump off

      • WomanInThePersistence

        And he’s also very, very smart. And sneaky. God/dess I love him.

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          It’s those intelligent liberal elites, I tell ya. Ya just cain’t trust ’em. I cain’t stand them knowin’ stuff I don’t.

    • Sardonicuss

      Damn. Went through the whole day and didn’t watch John Oliver. Thanks!

  • BMW

    Trump University Lawsuits May Not Be Closed After All https://nyti.ms/2mxgN0D

    • JD Mulvey

      Sounds like she’s got a pretty good argument. It’s a basic assumption of a class action that plaintiffs have the right to opt out and pursue their own suit.

  • Reality Kills

    Bannon’s smiling in the background. The plan goes as expected. (Maniacal laughing!)

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy
    • OrG

      Kinda lays it all out.

    • Treg Brown

      Thanks for this!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    What say you all, Montanagrins? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rob-quist-montana-house_us_58bdd0eae4b033be14679775?3fvpjf8fawcgpbvs4i&amp; Montana Democrats Pick State’s ‘Bernie Sanders’ For Ryan Zinke’s House Seat

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      All I want to know is Donna Rose’s (PBUH) take on the race.

  • Nounverb911
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      It’s that “Democracy dies in darkness” kind of optimism

    • Goodnight room
      Goodnight moon
      Good night to the fat orange baboon

  • Nounverb911
  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    Is James Comey still going to set his dick on fire? I thought James Comey was going to set his dick on fire. I would like James Comey to set his dick on fire. Can James Comey set his dick on fire? Please?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    hola all!

    • Nounverb911

      How did you survive your first day with the lawyer back?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        my god – a tornado of paper guys, just right in my face all day.

        • shivaskeeper

          Don’t they have a shredder there? That gets rid of the paperwork. Just saying.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol – ISWYDT, that would be easiest and yes we do have master shredders.

            Unfortunately to *stay* employed, every little thing has a thing, or series of things that must be done for it. It’s the only way this busy attorney’s office could function. Scanning, mailing, emailing, filing, oye vey.

          • shivaskeeper

            I know how paperwork goes. It used to be the bane of my existence. But having the paper trail when it’s needed is a glorious thing.

            Don’t do what I used to do to make the filing easier. Filing everything under “P” for people will probably not be a good thing there.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ROFL, i actually laughed at loud.
            My preferred system would ahve been “S” for stuff.
            How ya doing SK? You guys miss me all day? Do the other commentors pine for my witticisms, expert analysis, and stuff?

            ; P

          • shivaskeeper

            Doing good. I’m pretty sure everyone misses your wit and witticisms. Sometimes adulting has to take priority so I’m pretty sure it can be overlooked,

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, thanks! But I’m sure you guys are glad to have a *tiny* break from me.
            ; P

          • shivaskeeper

            Why? Comments aren’t even allowed here anyway.

          • suziq

            Back in the olden days when computers in the offices was a new thing they used to talk about “Going Paperless” hahahahahahah!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh…the sad thing is, we’re about as paperless as possibly can be! But, we get crap from opposing counsel that’s paper, obviously the records and depos come to us on paper. Then of course, there’s the stuff we mail out.

          • suziq

            There are some things that work to be paperless but in some cases we would print out hard copies to file and I always think of what a waste it all is. Maybe some day if the world doesn’t end in the next 4-8 years we will end up closer to paperless but it sure isn’t happening very fast!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            aye, at least we recycle!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          And I bet you handled it very well.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh, well, not quite. “Okay” would be more realistic, but I’m gaining competency every day. There’s just SO MUCH to do!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Hola! Como estas?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        estoy cansado y tengo mas cosas para hacer. Los platos, las ropas, la jardin, la trabaja for mi otro trabajar.
        Aye!

        • MynameisBlarney

          And now, we all see how little Spanish I can speak.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            To make people laugh, I always tell people I speak spanish like a little boy. “Hablo estapnol como un nino” – then I put my hand out to demonstrate about a toddler sized child.

            It’s pretty accurate. (Run what I wrote through this – and book mark it – you can learn some things. I like this site cause it gives you multiple meanings of words, indicates how they can be used in different situations, different regional uses of a word, and a little discussion section where native speakers can explain its usage)

            http://www.spanishdict.com

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            Funny, that is in fact when I spoke Spanish, and how I speak now (if I get unrusty enough).

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh, I’ve found the best people to practice with are spanish speakers who are working on their english skills.

            There’s a guy in school who apparently understands and writes english well, but not speak it so much. So I try to talk to him in spanish, he talks to me in english, and we can correct each other. (His english is MUCH better than my spanish is, but he occaisonally trips up on the best (or better) usage of a word, or sometimes little phrases)

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Yeah, I spoke French as a child, which is what I tell people, but the truth is I still don’t speak French any better than your average 3 year old French child. (I have a perfect accent, however)

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh, my accent in spanish is only decent cause I grow up in a big spanish speaking town – at least 2 of my profs do little jokes and asides in spanish.
            Coworkers speak it, lots of people speak it here. It’s kind of a bitch cause being bilingual is REQUIRED for a TON of jobs (to interact with the public/clients).

    • mailman27

      Welcome to our newly employed interstellar snack!

    • shivaskeeper

      Survived the first week I see. Good deal.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      ¡Buenas tardes! ¿Como estas?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Mira a mi “commento” abajo.
        ; )

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        ¿Dónde está la cerveza?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          en mi mano.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Claro que sí

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            ¡yo también!

    • snark-lurker

      Monday

  • Giachino Sarconi

    Donnie has had a bad week. 1. Lost his golf tourney at doral to MEXICO.2 Lost Jeffy to the truth.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    The fact that the House is pushing their new heal– *cough* Ahem, heal — Hack* die quickly plan without waiting for a CBO scoring is pretty telling, isn’t it?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yup – they had to push it before the CBO revealed how much of the shit sandwich is shit.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Won’t save them when premiums skyrocket.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          They’re making sure the real big chunks don’t hit until after the midterms.

          • Blacktop Autumn

            Oh, I know, but this is not a problem that is going to go away in 2018 or 2020. They should visit Obama if they think it will.

  • Blackest Noobs

    it seems to me the Donald need someone to slap him when he goes unhinged.

    I am more than willing to do the job too.

  • Nounverb911
    • David Clark

      How are you supposed to pick up the fish with all that ice in the way?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Okay, this isn’t disturbing at all, right? Right? RIGHT?!?

    https://twitter.com/USseriously/status/838915740682027008

    • Waiting on Khan to provide details before getting too excited.

      • Those are the details. He was told they were going to have to “review his traveling privileges”
        Never mind he is a fucking US citizen

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Time to sue the shit out of these people

        • I’m big on confirmation. It lends credibility. Anyone can say anything.

          From Snopes.
          “As a U.S. citizen, Khan may leave the country and re-enter it provided his passport is valid, though other countries have the option of deciding whether to let any U.S. citizen enter. The U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency does not contact citizens prior to their traveling outside of the U.S. We queried the Canada Border Services Agency seeking comment but have yet to hear back.
          Khan has not released any further comment regarding the event cancellation.”

          You’ve got more info?

          • https://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/khizr-khan-forced-to-cancel-toronto-trip-after-being-told-his-travel-privileges-are-being-reviewed/
            http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-live-updates-9th-circuit-arguments-gold-star-father-canceled-speech-in-1488828210-htmlstory.html

            And from Khan himself:
            “In a statement posted on Facebook, Khan said he was not told why his travel status was under review.

            “This turn of events is not just of deep concern to me but to all my fellow Americans who cherish our freedom to travel abroad,” he said, according to the statement. “I have not been given any reason as to why. I am grateful for your support and look forward to visiting Toronto in the near future.”

          • When the press (L.A.Times, The Hill, among others) asked him WHO contacted him and what the specifics were – why didn’t he answer?
            What “turn of events,” Jen?

          • He says he does not know, that’s right in the beginning of both articles, and the turn of events was being told his travel privileges were restricted.
            I mean I guess we could assume the dude is lying or over-reacting but considering the petty revenge monkies currently occupying our nation’s Cap…I am willing to suggest that maybe Mr. Khan was told his travel privileges were being reviewed (which is unlegal as he is a citizen) and probably just to fuck with him.

          • Kahn doesn’t know who contacted him?? He cancelled a speech people paid $89 to see. He offered his host no details on the situation.
            “The group that was hosting him did not identify any organization as being responsible for the ‘review.'”
            I think something doesn’t add up, damned straight.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            We don’t know if Khan doesn’t know, only that he didn’t say. Given that he’s not responding to a request for comment, nobody seems to know who contacted him.

          • I read that wrong, I read it as he did not know.
            Probably was told by his lawyer to not comment just yet.

          • Lawyer?

          • If you, as an American Citizen, were told that your travel privileges were under review, I am assuming you would find a lawyer real fast?

          • That’s assuming his story is true in which case you would know that lawyer’s name by now.

          • Not really. I would think low profile and girding one’s loins would be the correct response first.
            THEN you blast them to smithereens.

          • No lawyer could resist the shot at publicity. A motion for a continuance buys time.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Maybe, it’s only Monday

          • No comment doesn’t instill alot of confidence in his story.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            that could be- I don’t actually have any idea what this is about. Just poking around, something is fishy. either someone is fucking with him (possibly illegally) or he’s being a drama queen (or making up an excuse to bail on the gig)

          • I’m really hoping it’s not the latter, but suspicious that it is. Also there’s a possibility someone put him up to doing a political stunt.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It’s possible he made up an excuse to bail on the talk, not expecting the client to blab tom the media. Or Jen is right and his lawyer told him to say anything. Either way, I’d expect someone to figure it out soon enough- If he did contact his lawyer, I’d imagine a statement is forthcoming.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Here’s what’s confusing me. Both articles say that Kahn posted a statement to FB. I went to his page and the last post he made was on Veteran’s Day. So I did a FB search with his name and Toronto speech and got a lot of news pieces and sharing of same. Maybe I’m not doing the search correctly, but that’s what I got.

            https://www.facebook.com/pg/Khizr-Khan-1030129880417466/posts/?ref=page_internal

          • Hm, do not know I do not know the Facebooking.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I think the client posted it to their FB page https://www.facebook.com/RamsayTalks/

          • Well like I said, either he lied or he was fucked with.
            I find the second entirely much more plausible considering his FB post.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Neither he nor Ramsay Talks have given specifics so far. The CBP said they can’t comment on individual cases, but that generally thy only deal with Global Entry or Trusted Traveler status (the TSA programs) not specific travel plans. It will be interesting to find out who exactly told him that his traveling privileges were under review.

          • Interesting indeed. Incidentally, Ramsay Talks were GIVEN no details by Mr. Kahn, that’s why they’re not giving any.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            That’s what I read, they didn’t know.

          • David Clark

            Word today that a Canadian woman–born here, citizen–was refused entry to the US today. They told her she needed a visa. No reason given, natch. Worrying, that.

          • David Clark

            Ah! Just saw her on teevee and now I get it. Nice-looking young Canadian gal, nice hair and makeup, no religious trappings of any kind. A little brown tho. And her name, get this: Manpreet Kooner. Manpreet sure sounds like a Sikh name to me.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Travel privileges refers to the country you are leaving, I’m pretty sure.

  • memzilla Ω
    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Fucking degenerate moron.

      • MynameisBlarney

        But…but…he’s “folksy”!

      • TJ Barke

        Degenerate libel?

    • BloviateMe

      Well, sure, not as fun as watching your son torture a defenseless dog, huh Mike?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      That’s the diabetes acting up from the thick ass Mickey D’s cheeseburgers he probably wolfed down instead of local fare.

      What I’m saying is Huck is a fat sack of shit.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I know healthier diabetics who drink packs of soda a day.

    • TJ Barke

      Yes, arguably the most objective news source on earth is totally biased.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Last time I was at Norway they didn’t even give us coasters.

        • TJ Barke

          Savages!

        • puredog

          Norway’s fondness for canned clams is well-documented.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, terribly sorry that the Beeb doesn’t offer the same caliber of talent that Fox News brings…but there are standards, old chap.

    • Alan

      Wait. Am I to understand that this idiot is actually in Norway and complaining that television is not in English? Is that it?

      • Maybe he is looking for the terrorists in Sweden?
        I keep hoping Norway will revoke his fucking visa.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        The fucking balls of these people, after shitting all over anyone who needs help with English here

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Pretty much – I betcha he tries to get Trump to sign an EO requiring every country in the world to show Fox News in their hotels.

      • puredog

        Closed captioning, how does it work?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Wouldn’t want those poor people to have to press 1 for Norwegian, would we? Fucking crybaby, not having people speak your language in a foreign country is the very policy you and your fellow nativist dolts get hate boners over…

    • Yeah, TV totally sucks when you can’t just make shit up!!!!

      • efoveks

        The words were too big for him to clap out.?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We don’t get the Beeb. Just Sidebeeb.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and Sidebeeb Bob

    • Treg Brown
      • David Clark

        With a wire brush.

        That is so incredibly disgusting. I didn’t know about this. They’ve gone from laughable to hateful in my book. Evil fucking cunts, every man/woman jack of them. But they are Republicans, of course, so I shouldn’t be surprised. Am I the only one who genuinely thinks Republicans/Conservatives are not fully human? Some sort of sub-species or other? Really. I seriously think that. Is it just me?

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Shouldn’t he have been on Norway’s no-fly list? The country’s national IQ has probably sunk 20 points since he arrived.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        not to mention all the missing squirrels…

    • David Clark

      Um…”at” Norway? The Fuck?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      He’s not wrong about the BBC being great to sleep to though. I use it as white noise when I wake up at 3 a.m.

  • Nounverb911
  • Ωbjectifier
  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Trumpeters on shows have really upped the whole “talk so fast and over other people no one can unpack all the blatant lies you just told” and Chris Hayes is actually pretty good at getting words in. Not very good at keeping himself from laughing in their faces.

    • yyyaz

      Why does he have so goddamned many of them on, though? I do not believe they help his ratings, at least anecdotally, cuz I switched after 15 minutes tonight. I refuse to listen to their rationalizations for collaborating.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Because in these terrible times, he needs something to make him laugh. He’s not allowed to drink his pain away like Rachel.

        • yyyaz

          I have been thinking exactly that. ; )

    • shivaskeeper

      Fast talk full of too much bullshit to unpack is called a Gish Gallop. That should save some typing.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        yup, drown them in BS

  • Thiazin Red

    I started Caliban’s War, the second book in the Expanse series. I’m so glad they added some more women, I like Naomi but she was pretty much it in the first one.

    Plus, Avasarala is a great character. I can see why they added her to the show from the beginning.

    • TJ Barke

      Bobbie is best.

      • Thiazin Red

        I like Bobbie so far too. In general I love the attention to detail, and trying to think through the consequences of growing up in space. Bobbie living her whole life under domes and having a panic attack seeing the sky for the first time, things like that.

        • TJ Barke

          I just finished Cibola Burn last night, and I’ll be starting Nemesis Games tonight.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          The series rocked. I listened to most of them as books on tape (except for one with a terrible reader). Bobbie & Naomi & Avasarala are da best, but the two guys on the crew are awesome, too. Holden is mostly a foil for the others.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            I just realized I wrote “books on tape,” hee hee, how quaint, I be meaning Audible app on my iPhone w/ bluetooth headphones.

          • Thiazin Red

            Thats how I do most of my reading now. I can listen at work or when I’m doing stuff around the house.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Yup. The cooking, cleaning, gardening flies by with some lovely person reading books in my head.

          • AJ Milne

            Either of my children: ‘I know what this is… But what does _tape_ have to do with it?’

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Is the SyFy series based on these books?

      • Thiazin Red

        Yes, they made some changes to the story and there are some budget limitations, but I think they work and improve on things in some cases.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so one scenario about this Russian connection could be much ado about nothing.
    But because the Trump people kept insisting it never happened when 1st questioned about it makes us all think there’s something rotten in Denmark when it comes out they did indeed meet with Russians.

    they could have easily nip this fucker in the bud if they just said oh yeah we met, we didn’t talk about the election, we talked about this other stuff, see we have photos, etc etc.

    saying that shit after you got caught makes no fucking sense UNLESS you’re fucking incompetent ( let’s say it was innocent talk and not colluding talk)

    what i am saying is Trump and his people are fucking incompetent. They were incompetent when they ran their campaign and only really won by a fluke ( a real real win would have had a majority of the popular vote too).

    they so fucking incompetent that they could turn an “innocent” meeting with the Russians into this cluster fuck it is now.

    now i don’t think that scenario is likely, it is possible but i don’t it’s likely because Trump is a fucking crook. ask Atlantic City, they know it. I personally think he fucking colluded with the Russians and the only thing stopping us from knowing the truth TRUTH is Speaker Ryan and Turtle.

    so Nov. 2018 let’s let them know how we really feel about them.

    • Incompetent or treasonous?
      I am going with 2 considering how many russian witnesses are ending up not alive.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I’m going with both.

      • snark-lurker

        8 at last count(?)

    • shivaskeeper

      You are absolutely right that there could be nothing to the Russian meetings at all. If the FISA court did grant a warrant for collection of data on DJT, there might be nothing actionable or illegal there either. That is always a possibility. You are right that there is no way to know unless a full non-partisan investigation is done.

      Even if there was nothing to Flynn, Manafort, Sessions, Kushner, and whoever else was meeting with the Russians it will drag DJT’s dealings with them out in the light.

      Like you I don;t think it’s even plausible that there is no “there” there. The way the GOPers in Congress are acting about it practically screams there is a “there” there and they are going to do their damnedest to not see it as it may take some of them with it.

  • Nounverb911
    • boyblue122

      “Slaves willing came to the United States to seek a better life”

      Theres a bottomless pit of derp in the Drumpf regime

    • Crank Tango

      Exactly. So much trolling.

  • efoveks

    Anthony Silva, former Stockton mayor, got arrested today, so something went well:

    http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/crime/article136779388.html

  • BloviateMe

    Jesus, they’re not even trying to hide the fucking. MAGAcare is going to kill the lot of us, but the tax cut for >$500k? Wow. Just a perfect spit in the face.

    • shaar dula

      the old icon was better. imvho. to that i could always bloviate. you know what i mean?

    • efoveks

      Well, you know us poars hate to be interrupted by hard work on our welfare cruises. Now we can no longer afford our name-brand Lipitor to lower all that high cholesterol from the champagne, lobster and prime cuts of beef we’re all dining on.. someone needs to give Paul Ryan and all his friends super atomic wedgies and a swirly with extra fudge topping. With votes of course.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      There is nothing about this proposal that will have anyone saying, “wow, that is brilliant, I totally get it.” Kinda like Hillary’s or Romney’s campaign which really did not have an expressive, captivating hook. It’s just dense with high school essay bullshit fillers.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    So I was out all day, what godawful monstrous crap happened today? I’d read the news but I have work to do, so I’ll have ot rely on your witty, snarky comments.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Muslim ban Lite. Affordable Care Act Lite. Trump blah blah blah. The usual.

      • efoveks

        Affordable Care Act Lite = UNaffordable Care Act. :(

    • shaar dula

      yet another case of crazy native bite migrant. some brownie shot here, some one else needlessly apprehended there. no biggie. not news.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      We’re still alive, aren’t we?

    • Doug Langley

      No biggie. The nukes were launched about twenty minutes ago, so you still have time to find shelter.

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    So this is why Bam Bam didn’t fire Comey: because Comey would get fired anyway, Donnie would still get to appoint his replacement (which would have happened if Bam Bam fired Comey), and this way Donnie looks bad instead Bam Bam. Gosh, he was clever, wasn’t he?

    • Master of the eleventy dimension chess, there is no thread he left un tucked.
      According to wingnuts, he is the smartest most careful most dedicated most amazing super villain EVER

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Yes, he is!

      • Thiazin Red

        While also being incompetent and spending all is time on vacation.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          And constantly doing Sharia law to everyone.

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            I’m so glad we have the complete opposite now.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Better than the shitgibbon’s 0 dimension chess

      • Me The People

        I’m telling Trump that Obama plans to upload his personality into the internet, from where he will be omniscient and invincible. I will also include a guide on how to pronounce those words.

      • Serai 1

        But also weak and sad and pathetic. And sick.

        • Edith Prickly

          Of course. The same way Hillary was plotting murders by e-mail at the same time she was dying all over the place during the campaign.

    • Serai 1

      He still is. That crumb trail he and his guys left about the Russia scandal was pure genius. He SAID they were doing things they wouldn’t tell us about. Now we’re seeing what he meant!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Traditionally, FBI director is above the partisan fray and not a job that gets replaced with a new administration. So there was no reason for Obama to expect Comey to get pushed out.

      But Trump don’t do traditionally.

  • MynameisBlarney

    So…whilst there’s a lull in the postin’…

    My bro is gonna be ok.

    He said he went and yelled at everyone at AA and felt much better afterward.

    Not sure quite what to make of that, but he was in a good mood all day.
    Also, too; I told dad to back off with his offers to “help”.

    He actually said ok.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      I, too, often find myself yelling at American Airlines.
      But seriously, good news. Maybe a good talkin’ from is what he needs.

      • snark-lurker

        i yell at myself & say things i wish i could take back & can nut

        • Scrofula

          Especially when HR keeps saying to keep it to myself.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      He’s going to AA? There are other things, also, don’t know if they’re in your area.
      http://www.smartrecovery.org/
      sossobriety.org

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, and no, they’re aren’t other options here in the upper keys.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          If one finds a way to make peace with the higher power part, AA works. And having the will, fortitude and creativily to make that peace with the higher power part can be really helpful in keeping on keeping on.

          • Alan

            It may work for some people. It’s just plain annoying for others. I’ve been sober for 30 years and I found AA to be nothing but a bunch of pathetic people who had become dependent on something else.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            I hear ya. I think people who go to meetings for more than, say, 3 years, just don’t/can’t get their shit together. Though being pathetic and sober beats being pathetic and drunk.

          • Alan

            Yeah, that is true.

    • I am glad to read it :hugs:

      • MynameisBlarney

        Thanks. I’m glad to be posting it.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    heh, you guys, I just got THE BEST “captcha” combination ever (I swear this is real and NOT photoshopped). https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f5043da96e434d8c652650d2e8b63c7135dab2b4f775d0c67018547a9e253df.png

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Guaranteed to fool Sentinels and other robots.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Some of Captcha I’ve gotten in the past are really creepy.

      • clubseal

        The computer makes you type “Skynetisalive” one time and suddenly it’s creepy.

        • Doug Langley

          I had to type “shallweplayagame”. That’s okay, right?

          • MynameisBlarney

            DAMMIT DOUG!

            Now we’re all gonna die!

          • Doug Langley

            Oh, gee, I’m sorry.

          • TJ Barke

            As long as he sti