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This morning, Donald Trump, the president of the United States, flipped his shit on Twitter. And we don’t mean like when other lib blogs say he flipped his shit and then it turns out he called someone a loser and then said “Sad!” We mean like

President Trump, it seems, is very upset that President Obama did a “wire tapp” (sic) to him, that, apparently, he is just finding out about. (He might want to broaden his media diet.)

But what’s this about then? Let’s begin at the Beginning Place.

Oh hey, do you remember that weird story about the servers pinging back and forth from Trump Tower to Russia’s Alfa Bank?

We remember it clearly. It was Halloween, and we were sitting in the Wonkebago in a deserted RV park outside Salt Lake, and our heads were SCANNERS SPLODING from reading two stories in a row: one by David Corn at Mother Jones that first introduced The Dossier, and one by Franklin Foer at Slate about these two mysterious servers pinging each other — and each other only — back and forth from Moscow to Trump Tower.

Yes. We’re back to private email servers. Fucking AGAIN.

Within one hour, Eric Lichtblau of the august New York Times had cleared Donald Trump of all crimes past, present and future. Law enforcement had looked at the Alfa Bank server, he said, but had finally concluded it was probably spam. And that dossier? Law enforcement hadn’t found a single link between Russia and Trump or any of his associates.

Lichtblau’s reporting has not aged well. In fact, it has aged as badly as Trump adviser Alex Jones, who we recently learned is 43.

Watch where you point that thing, bub
That is too much trucker speed!

Whoops it turns out the FBI got a FISA warrant for the Trump Org and Alfa Bank and all ‘US persons’ emailing each other therein

So, Eric Lichtblau’s “law enforcement” source, who we surmised was FBI Director James Comey, may he rot in hell, may have been a tad premature! Or a little bit lie-y! Because at 10 p.m. the night before Election Day, the Rupert Murdoch-owned conservative rag “Heat Street” published a little bit of a scoopty about how, after being denied for a FISA warrant naming Donald Trump, the FBI had in October resubmitted a more narrowly drawn warrant, which was granted.

Nobody really saw the story; it was the night before Election Day, there was rather a lot of other stuff going on, and Heat Street, and its editor Louise Mensch, weren’t particularly known quantities as far as national security reporting. Mensch, 45, a former Conservative MP and ’90s party girl, had married Metallica’s manager and become a Big Hater Of Russia and Big Lover Of British And American Spies — and, apparently, they return the favor!

It would be two months before BBC and McClatchy were able to confirm Mensch’s reporting about the FISA warrant, which McClatchy wrote had been granted Oct. 15.

Mensch left Heat Street and posts crazy shit on her own blog, Patribotics.wordpress.com. We’ll come back to that.

It’s now four months later, and Breitbart is pissed. As goes Breitbart …

Since early January, McClatchy, the New York Times and others have been reporting there are actually many (many) investigations into Trump’s Russia ties. (The New York Times’s mea culpa on its own whitewash was hilariously lacking.)

Here is a short list of Trump associates who have ties to the Russian government:

  • Donald Trump
  • Everyone Donald Trump has ever met

Over the past few days, there’s been a firehose of stories about various Trump campaign officials meeting with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak. We don’t know what was said in any of these meetings, and some of them may very well have been “getting to know you.” But in the context of what was happening the same week as Jeff Sessions’s meeting with Kislyak, at least, “we didn’t discuss the campaign” smells like a raging case of the world’s worst vaginitis.

They also lied about every single one of their meetings, over and over, until they were caught. It’s all been getting very hott in herre!

Yesterday (Friday), Breitbart posted a screed about President Obama’s “police state tactics” against Trump’s candidacy, and yowled

Radio host Mark Levin used his Thursday evening show to outline the known steps taken by President Barack Obama’s administration in its last months to undermine Donald Trump’s presidential campaign and, later, his new administration.

Levin called Obama’s effort “police state” tactics, and suggested that Obama’s actions, rather than conspiracy theories about alleged Russian interference in the presidential election to help Trump, should be the target of congressional investigation.

The “police state tactics” they are VERY GRRRR about are … the Department of Justice applying for and receiving a FISA warrant to monitor communications between Alfa Bank and the Trump Organization.

It’s almost as if investigating collusion between a hostile foreign power and a candidate for president of the United States to (hypothetically!) traffic in stolen information and use it to injure a second candidate for president of the United States is worse than actually colluding to do so! At least if you are Breitbart. And, say, Donald Trump! Let us remember what Donald Trump tweeted this morning, let’s see, “add media, media library, trump fisa tweet,” PRESTO!

“Is it legal for a sitting President to be ‘wire tapping’ a race for president prior to an election?” Only if they have evidence, my dude, and if a FISA judge agrees!

You’ll note that President Trump himself complains that their previous request was denied. Almost as if it wasn’t just rubberstamped, but the FBI actually had to show probable cause why a wire tap against a party’s nominee for president was called for … and that it succeeded!

The previous denial doesn’t clear you, Mr. P. Very much the opposite.

Remember when we wrote this in October and we were like “ARE WE CRAZY NO YOU ARE CRAZY?” It turns out you are crazy.

No, but really, what are some of the Russian ties to Trump and his campaign

Sorry, we honestly can’t go through them all, they’re fucking nuts. It basically comes down to “every person Donald Trump has ever met is diving into swimming pools of dirty stolen Russian money.” After the collapse of the Soviet Union, well-placed Russians started stealing many billions of dollars worth of Russia’s assets, from its natural resources to its hard cash. Looking for places to park their money, a whole lot of them decided on condos in Trump Tower, buying like 10 each for made up amounts of money, because who can determine what real estate is “really” worth?

His personal attorney, Michael Cohen, owns an ethanol company in Ukraine.

He partnered for years with a convicted felon (a dude who stabbed another dude in the face with the broken stem of a margarita glass!) who was mobbed up DEEP in both Russia and Little Italy — and then, once Russian investments had saved him from bankruptcy (again), said he barely knew him.

And his entire cabinet, with the possible exception of Ben Carson, has bizarre ties to Russian banks (new Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, for instance, was until today the vice-chair of the Bank of Cyprus, which launders Russian money) and Russian oil companies. Jeff Sessions was hosting dinners for and having white papers written for him by a fellow named Richard Burt, who was lobbying for Gazprom and sits on the board of … Alfa Bank.

Even Betsy DeVos, that nice dumb lady ready to dismantle public education in the US, has weird ties to Alfa Bank (though that one seems thin!) — AND the rogue elements in the FBI who were leaking to her brother, Erik Prince (yes, of Blackwater), that Anthony Weiner was going to be arrested before the election, right before Anthony Weiner’s computer got turned over to the FBI.

Oh shit, are we back to Anthony Weiner’s dick? Yes, we are back to Anthony Weiner’s dick

Here’s where Louise Mensch loses us. She reports that North Carolina hackers, in conjunction with a Russian hacker arrested in Prague, planted Hillary’s emails on Anthony Weiner’s computer and then made up the 15-year-old girl he thought he was sexting with. Jeff Sessions’s number two at Justice, Dana Boente (the guy who happily succeeded Sally Yates as acting Attorney General when she was fired abruptly for telling Trump his Muslim ban was illegal), was reportedly the prosecutor on the North Carolina hackers (who actually called themselves “Crackas With Attitude” — that one made my mom, who taught in South Central for 25 years, laugh and laugh!). And … I mean, maybe? I’m not saying no? And Barack Obama did a weird thing where he signed Boente out of the order of succession at Justice right before his administration ended (because that was an important thing to spend his final weeks on why?) and then Donald Trump did a weird thing where he quietly signed Boente back in, shortly before Sessions had to recuse himself from any investigation into Trump’s Russia ties? MORE INFO NECESSARY, because !!!!! whaaaat???

I will say this, though: when Anthony Weiner complains he’s been hoaxed, not a single person in the world (including your Wonkette!) is going to believe him. So that’s pretty clever, right there!

In conclusion?

Haha, Scanners! No but really, in conclusion?

No, President Trump. The Department of Justice getting a FISA court to agree to let it look at your computer traffic with Alfa Bank, while you and every person you have ever met are doing weird Russia stuff, is not “a police state” “worse than Watergate.” It’s how a country of laws works.

Oh, also, we almost forgot: You know how we have been REALLY MEAN to poor James Comey? According to Mensch, he’s every bit the “man of integrity” all those people kept claiming he was while we pooh poohed them and tore our own hair out, and his insistence on not signing on to the Intelligence Community’s conclusion on Russia hacking the election was because he wasn’t going to fuck up his case like a common Law & Order cop by looking at the intel until every i was crossed and t was dotted on his warrants. If that turns out to be the case, we will owe him a really nice fruit basket.

Wonkette has no dirty stolen Russian money. Wonkette has no dirty stolen money at all, and is supported solely by Readers Like You. Please consider throwing us a buck, five, 10, 25, or ONE HUNDRED! Or five.

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  • Frumpycat

    “Who knew colluding with Russians would be so HARD.”
    – Trump

    Let’s recognize what is going on here: Trump is trying to spin a legitimate investigation into the activities of his campaign into a tale of political persecution. His campaign was and is being investigated, and he’s trying to make it into some kind of conspiracy organized against him by Obama.

    Congrats conservative morons…you elected your exact reflection: an insane, paranoid, fact challenged, conspiracy driven, raving loon

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      The part I don’t get is that I keep reading that Bannon is an extremely intelligent person who is the real danger. If he’s so smart why the fuck is he not controlling Cheetolini?

      • Sardonicuss

        Mostly because he really isn’t.
        Currently, he is the evil mastermind behind what is looking to be the biggest political cluster fuck in human history.
        He may be smarter than Trump…but that bar is buried 10 ft. below ground.

      • Ms.Moon

        Because Lord Dampnut cannot be controlled. He was born rich, every time he wanted something he got it. He has not been told no enough and have it stick he’s never had to deal with actual consequences throughout his life. He’s declared bankruptcy six times and he’s still able to maintain his lifestyle of the rich. Bannon has to work through him and Bannon, no matter how good he is is not Drumph and he’s the one in the driver’s seat.

        • Amy!

          Yup. Narcissists are really easy to manipulate … until they’re not.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • TJ Barke

    That’s rich, “police state tactics”… When this administration is doing everything it can short of murder(so far) to quash dissent, and loose goosestepping ICE agents on the undocumented population, tearing families apart with no concern for due process, rampantly lying about the opposition and support of its policies.

  • RC

    He’s trying to insulate the base from the truth when it invariably comes out.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, JHC, Chuck Todd’s new ad: “These days politics needs a referee, and we’re not afraid to blow the whistle”

    …because we worked those muscles so very, very hard during the election.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “And now, to discuss with me just how even-handed the media is, John McCain.”

      • The Wanderer

        “And his girlfriend, Lindsey Graham.”

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      Chuck should probably avoid using “blow” in any advertising.

      • H0mer0

        might help him build up his missing chin (I too have a small one)

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      ”I am not afraid to blow, and if I blow, I will blow long and blow hard.”
      -Chuck Todd, allegedly

  • Latverian Diplomat

    For wingnuts, the most scandalous things part is that the Great Trumpkin disparaged Nixon and McCarthy, brave Republican heroes illegitimately brought down by falsehoods from the liberal (commie) media.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The best part of this, for me, right now, is that everyone is holding him to this as if he didn’t just accidentally declassify the smoking gun congress is hiding in the course of abreacting about some half-understood shit he saw on a wingnut blog.

    • wait! what?

      #ultimatedickslappingjustice

  • TJ Barke

    Congrats conservatards, you literally elected a traitor.

    • RC

      as long as they get their tax cuts it’s all good.

      • TJ Barke

        Fucking treasonous bastards.

    • BadKitty904
      • TJ Barke

        It’s a strange law that carries a penalty ranging from 5 years to death…

        • BadKitty904

          It’s a strange crime that merits such.

        • Crank Tango

          Well there’s Light Treason.

        • BackDoorMan

          … I think it comes down to degree of severity… and in Trump’s case, I don’t think the ultimate penalty is unwarranted.

    • Amy!

      Yebbut … Republican!

      Also, too, her emails!!ghazi!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trumpgate? Towergate? Tappgate?

  • Fartknocker

    If Dampnut is so smart he would figure out a way to turn this entire shit show in the President Apprentice. Oh, sorry, I forgot about that Emolument thingy. My apologies.

    Also, I have no kitten pictures but I found out Papa John is being sued for a dick:
    https://www.cnet.com/news/man-sues-papa-johns-for-texting-him-too-much/

    • BackDoorMan

      … “Emoluments – yeah, I know all about that, the Third Wife sells that over-priced skin cream with caviar in a jar, tremendous stuff, just great! Stores that don’t carry it are just sad (sick)” – DJT

  • BadKitty904
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Technically, it was a series of tubes, not wires, that were tapped. Technically.”
    — Ghost of Ted Stevens

  • TJ Barke
    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Trump: “I think – I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me.”

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      “I’m looking to take the oil. I want to take the oil. I want the oil,” Trump said on ABC’s “This Week” on Sunday.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Steps in [poorly] denying a scandal of the Russian-doll, story-inside-of-a-story variety:

    1. “Fake news!”
    2. “The leakers are endangering our country. GET THE LEAKERS!”
    3. “Every Dem you ever heard of met with the Russians. They did it toooooo!”
    4. “It’s all Obama’s fault. BLAME OBAMA!”

    Yeah. Steps 2 through 4 are basically, “Sure it’s true, but look over there!”

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      “It’s all lies, but if it is true I didn’t do it!”

      • BackDoorMan

        … “I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, there’s no way you can prove anything” – Bart Simpson.
        Yeah, Trumpy loves his “shows”.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Jesus! That was a gallop of an article. And to think there’s probably more to come out! Hehehehehe. Thought it would be all over if you won, didn’t you, Donnie? The fun’s just getting started, asshole.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Definitely needs a blank “Watch this space” at the end of it for whatever else falls off the turnip truck today and tomorrow.

    • diane surette

      It’s intoxicating!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Mmm, FISA has a track record of approving most requests. The scrunity they applied here was probably mostly because “rich white guy” along with a dash of “Republican white guy”.

      • Sardonicuss

        It was also because Obama was going out of his way to keep justice from overplaying their hand and making him look like Nixon.
        If he had anyone from Justice looking a the flood of ties Drump had to the Russians during the campaign, he would come off as using them to swing the election. Probable cause had to be pretty tight and from multiple credible sources to get the warrant.

        • Most of me gets how respectable Obama was during all this bullshit…
          but a little part of me is still screaming at him for not revealing all this shit last October…

          • Sardonicuss

            He really couldn’t. I remember thinking…god he needs to do something! but any thing he did with the FBI, Justice…or the IRS even would have left a huge trail that would have made him look like a President trying to wield the government agencies to swing an election to his party.

          • Obama was always a cool-headed cat.

            Perhaps that cool thirty million will coax him to at least suggest what he knew…and I have a feeling his Presidential memoirs are gonna be a yooge seller when they come out during the Trump and Pence Impeachment Trials™ (which will be the best Reality TeeVee, by far. Very best. Bigly)

          • Sardonicuss

            He just spent 8 years playing 11 dimensional chess with a bunch of people who couldn’t master checkers…and beat them every time it was legally possible.

          • That reminds me that I very much want, once again, to have a President who I know is much, much smarter than me. Seriously! And I am just a run-of-the-mill photonics engineer/scientist.

    • BadKitty904
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “It’s not paranoia if you really do have a secret Russian server in your basement.”

  • Skaarphy

    OT: Lisa Gerrard of Dead Can Dance, Sanvean:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGmvXGBBfjs

  • Sardonicuss

    “…but the FBI actually had to show probable cause why a wire tap against a party’s nominee for president was called for … and succeeded!”
    Trump: Confirming his criminality with every other tweet…every day!

  • Gwennie_G

    How the fuck is it that he can spell Schwarzenegger right, but not tap?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      He knows his enemies and names them every night, Arya Stark-style.

      • Claire

        He could start reciting that list at noon and it would be an entire explanation for why he’s still up tweeting at three in the morning.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Spoilers:
        Trump Tower Grill has the best Frey pie. Happy First Day of Winter! I love the Faceless Men.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      He has “Schwarzenegger” on his special hate-list of hot key macros.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Macro.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Spellcheck. You type something often enough, it will auto-correct. Shows Trump’s priorities.

      • Amy!

        Also address book.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump is just tapp danccing arrounndd serriouss qquesttionnss.

    • PubOption

      He’s being consonant.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in: Cognitive scientist revising theories about denial, as Trumpkins continue to worship dangerous lunatic to an extent never before believed possible.

    • Sardonicuss

      Rural American water supplies being tested for psychotropic compounds as largest case of “prolonged mass stupidity” in history rages on.

  • Aaron Wise

    Based on my responses here yesterday regarding Sessions’ felonies, its quite apparent that the Democrats can do nothing in this case.
    No way to investigate, no hope, no balls.

    • H0mer0

      didn’t Betty White ‘splain to you that clearly enough that balls aren’t all that tough?

  • Bad Tom

    If Lord Dampnut’s phones were really tapped, that means a judge approved a court order. That means there is proof, something Dampnut doesn’t understand.

    But the worst thing for Dampnut is that they have transcripts of what he said to the Russians.

    That would keep him up late at night.
    ——-
    Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! It should keep him up, late at night.

    • DuchessD’Orleans

      Hilariously, he’s just now finding out about this, when it stopped being a secret in November.

  • WiscoJoe

    “Wire Tapp” would be a great band name.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Tapp. Tapper. Connect the dots, sheeple!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Smell the (tiny) Glove.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Dear Shit Fer Brains…

  • BadKitty904

    The GOP’s expected response to “President” Rump’s assurances of his innocence of any crime:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/879ad7a8740a581779bbf5c468d9e03f156545e8a98679376c481523f387f5bc.gif

    • Rick Hill

      NO! Get them back here! They knew a lot of this and they still ran interference for trump. Hang them all!!!

      • BadKitty904

        They will sell him out in a heartbeat to save their own asses.

        • Rick Hill

          Of course. We just can’t let them get away with it. McCain apologized for the Keating five and look where that got us. the teabaggers and Palin

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, as far as I’m concerned our job’s not done ’til Trump, Bannon, et al., have fled to Russia for asylum and the Republican Party is outlawed as a terrorist organization.

        • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

          Not before they got their fucking tax cuts.

        • Sardonicuss

          Joy Reid pointed out that all the big players: Manafort, Flynn, Page ect…are all out of the government now and thus, have no protection.
          Now it is just waiting to see which one folds up and turns narc first.

          • BadKitty904

            Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal like a pig!

          • BackDoorMan

            … please, please, please let them all race to the front of the line… Lets play Truth or Incarceration! This could be fun.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Give them this day their daily megadose of rodenticide,
      And do not forgive them their trespasses.
      For they have mightily trespassed against us all.”

  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-h-1b-idUSKBN16B0GM

    Foreigners aiming for temporary jobs at high-tech U.S. companies will undergo a longer visa approval process after the Trump administration announced it will temporarily suspend expedited applications for H-1B visas.

    The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) said on Friday that starting April 3 it will suspend “premium processing” for up to six months. Under this expedited procedure, applicants can be eligible for visa approvals within 15 days, instead of a regular review period that can last for up to a few months.

    The H-1B non-immigrant visa allows U.S. companies to employ graduate-level workers in several specialized fields, including information technology, medicine, engineering and mathematics.

  • Aaron Wise

    Hopefully Maddow will run an expose on this.
    I’ll feel better then.
    Who needs actual action?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Maddow has been doing exposes up to her eyeballs this week. Last night, following airplane tail numbers to show how the Russian Fertilizer King mysteriously ended up in the same cities in which Trumpy was holding pre-election rallies time after time.

      And, yes. We are at the point in this story where a “Russian Fertilizer King” is a key player.

      • Aaron Wise

        At $30,000/day, she tries.
        Outrage, however, is not action.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          No, it isn’t. Reporting is, however, action.

        • Biff52

          And what, pray tell, are you doing?

          Same as the rest of us, commenting impotently.

          • Amy!

            Nah. He’s bravely upbraiding the writers, editors, and commentors at Wonkette for their utter failure to remove DJT from office. Purity pony; check commenting history.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Yep. I just posted this on the last thread.

        https://youtu.be/LnfeSitSbRA

  • Rick Hill

    Hmmmm. Everyone of them had contacts. The FBI has wiretaps and a buttload of evidence. Idk, still not convinced. Sounds like you guys are reaching for straws and trying to ruin the good name of…aww, fck. I can’t go on with that. Help me out here…

  • azeyote

    and i thought Nixon was bad at the whole cover up thing – Trump couldn’t cover up a zit –

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Trump IS a zit. Pop it.

    • shivaskeeper

      They have not adapted to the digital age. It’s really that simple.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Just barely on topic: Apparently when they were making Scanners they were having trouble making the head explode just the way they wanted it to. The solution to the problem was putting a guy on the floor behind the head and blasting apart with a shotgun. Hooray for practical effects!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Martini Ambassador

    Fuck. Don’t try to make me like Comey. That said, though, if Bamz felt he was a man of integrity, than maybe he is. Still too partisan with the leaking of the Weiner news, though.

    Also, too, Fuckface McGee and his whining about Bamz is the #3 story on tonight’s French national newscast. And the French right now are embroiled in their own crazy illegal-activity-right-before-an-election mess.

    • Jack Tenhet

      I’m stealing “Fuckface McGee” like a common Melania.

  • Aaron Wise

    Any opposition party with ANY balls would use this latest gaffe/lie in their favor and accomplish something.
    Relying on the MSM is lame. And useless.
    DO SOMETHING.

  • AndyC316

    I think I’m gonna print this out and have it framed. Holy fuck that’s some serious shit

  • therblig

    tapp – because you can never have too much P

    • WomanInThePersistence

      And we have a winner!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “New Tapp: Now With 100% More P!”

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Tapp, tapp, tapp!” – Larry Craig

      • PubOption

        Here’s a tapping, indeed. If a man were porter of hell-gate he should have old turning the key.

    • Biff52

      I lost most of my P on Fistalknacht.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • BadKitty904
    • Aaron Wise

      Short of bloodshett!

    • Jack Tenhet

      We just watched that again last night. Love Young Frankenstein.

      • BadKitty904

        One of the most brilliant film parody’s of all time.

  • dslindc
    • Martini Ambassador

      Don’t drink from the communal punch bowl, dear reporters.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Never thought I’d want to be Tommen in any possible scenario, but there you go.

  • bookish

    http://www.scmp.com/week-asia/opinion/article/2075170/north-korea-loses-its-use-china-loses-its-patience

    Trump has made repeated calls for China to get tough on North Korea, saying Beijing could end its neighbour’s nuclear programme “very quickly and easily”.

    China does provide most of North Korea’s food and fuel; it has long played a crucial role to effectively keep the regime afloat and avoid a repeat of the famines of the 1990s. But the solution China truly seeks is not what the US anticipates.

    China’s strategists have long-feared any tough action against the reclusive state might lead to its collapse, triggering a refugee wave at China’s borders and leave Beijing without a geopolitical buffer to US forces under a unified Korea.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    In a now 10 minute old article from Reuters:

    Senator Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina
    Republican, said he had no knowledge about any wiretapping but is “very
    worried that our president is suggesting that the former president has
    done something illegally. I would (also) be very worried if in fact the
    Obama administration was able to obtain a warrant lawfully about Trump
    campaign activity.”

    Graham said it was his job “to get to the bottom of this. I promise I will.”

    Has Donnie Littlefingers lost Lindsey once and for all, at last?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Looks like a Dem/GOP-safe quote from Miss Lindsey. “The preznit ought not to be making those insinuations against Barry” for the Dems; “If Obama was able to obtain a warrant against Trumpy regarding his campaign activities, that’s bad” for the GOP. Sort of masterful.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Words. He can come back when they’re deeds.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m betting Aunt Pitty’s not the only Republican who’s “very worried” about the evidence for/results of that warrant.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      saw the video of that on CNN’s page. Miss Lindsey is done with this shit

  • Rick Hill

    You know… a lot of millennials do not even understand the implications of the Russians doing anything. Daughter mine even mentioned that, before Ukraine, folks her age didn’t think Russia was bad at anything. A lot of older conservatives are totally on board with Russia being cool now because macho Putin leads them and he’s better than mom jean Obama. They could give two shits about organized crime and blood monies as long as liberals get climate change in their faces. No slam dunks, we’re still in Chinatown

  • Me not sure

    Sapp rapps papp and crapp as to tapp. …Headslapp.

  • anon_the_great

    Frame changer

    While every body is sussing out the how and why of the US gomint’s decided to hunt down the traitor Cheetolini it is probable that info came from friendly foreign intelligent agencies fighting Russian fascism.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Want to bring just because, there’s apparently a pro-Trump march going on in new York right now. And it’s not much fun to mock it on one’s own.

    • Gwennie_G

      I’m guessing a New York pro-Trump march is not exactly yuuge.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Well MSNBC only had street level cameras, so I couldn’t tell.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah, MSGOP just interviewed a demdose who thinks Trump has an obligation to tweet because the left wing mainstream media is hiding the truth. To her credit, the nice MSGOP lady pointed out that they just put her on TV.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Funny be because he’s in FL.

    • Flashman

      Did Goldman Sachs give its employees the afternoon off?

  • Aaron Wise

    Maybe the Dems can capitalize on this one?
    Being wiped out on the last few election cycles by reprobates is getting tired and depressing.
    Maybe some more fundraising from Wall Street will fix it?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You are an annoying concern troll. Blocked.

      • Jack Tenhet

        That’s exactly what it is. I blocked it after it started repeating “Fold over!” and “Give up!”. It may be a little more sinister than a concern troll because that almost sounds like psychological warfare.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Not terribly good at that, then. What a waste of protoplasm.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Yeah, low energy! Sad!

    • Nick Scroggs

      Right, and then us dirty Sanders-loving hippies will complain about that even more, and you’ll likely be saying we’re the problem next to Republicans.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think we need to take more guidance from egg sock accounts myself.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Holy crap! Aaron’s still around? I blocked that wingnut days ago.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I just ran into it. Tried to give it the benefit of doubt, but a quick check of its history made it very clear that it’s simply not worth the time.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I guess he got bored with the tumescence.

    • Aaron Wise

      Seriously.
      People are sick and tired of being abused.
      We need leadership now more than ever.
      Chelsea? No.

      • Aaron Wise

        Perhaps more Goldman Sachs money will bring us out of the loser category?

        • Nick Scroggs

          Orrrrrrr, maybe new ideas, being independent people, reading a lot, coming up with ideas on our own, not falling into the old visceral power play tactics. Talking to representatives, being creative, I can go on.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Shmeeriously? I’m still waiting on my Soros check.

        • Aaron Wise

          Don’t waste yer time.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Shhh. Be vewwy quiet. It’s masturbating.

          • Aaron Wise

            Why are you people so freaked out by truth?

          • Nick Scroggs

            Well if you stopped ending every sentence with a question mark, I don’t know.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            truth?

            All you’re doing is bellyaching and itching to pick a fight with someone/anyone over that year’s primary race

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Aha, I was wonder about all these turgid self-replies were aboot.

  • Gwennie_G

    Thanks, ‘trix. This was a good explainer on what’s going on.

  • Rick Hill

    Meanwhile, pence is over in the corner, hands in his pockets, whistling, looking for comets….

    • Nick Scroggs

      Comets are God will, like lead poisoning or intelligent design!

    • BadKitty904

      If I stand very still and am very quiet…

  • anon_the_great

    The only way out of our national nightmare is several rounds public hangings of the current Bund of traitors on the National Mall.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Trump read that as “rounds of golf.”

    • Sardonicuss

      Harsh… but fair.

  • Claire

    As far as I can tell, the idiots who voted for Trump are the exact same people whose idea of American foreign policy begins and ends with “We can’t let other countries tell us what to do!”

    Apparently this is only true if the other countries aren’t run by big strong daddies. Then America is supposed to fall all over itself to be the bestest son on the farm.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah and they think other countries are California and New York.

      • ziggywiggy

        I have a NY passport… it’s called a Metrocard(it’s what we use instead of subway tokens now).

    • BadKitty904

      So, “the exact same people whose idea of American foreign policy begins and ends with” the third grade?

      • Claire

        You are a generous kitty. I was going to go with “Five-year-old screaming ‘You are not the boss of me!’ and flailing all over the linoleum at Walmart.”

    • Jack Tenhet

      “You’re not my Russian supervisor!”

    • Flashman

      Trump supporters are people whose emotionally cold and remote daddies beat them or abused them mentally, and who do the same for their kids. Their Ehre heisst Treue.

  • diane surette

    Whoa if true, Mother Fucker. Ew. My dog farted.

    • H0mer0

      mine just ate “tootsie rolls” from the kitty litter box. I first smelled a whiff of “Fresh Step” which was suspicious as she[the dog] crawled underneath my desk, then the stench of the godawful ….

  • JMP

    You know what’s sad, Donald? An elderly man who never learned to properly spell a simple word like “tap”.

    • H0mer0

      or precedent

  • Jamoche

    Just from having shared offices with computer security experts, I found that NYTimes “nothing to see here” unconvincing. But poof! It just vanished after that.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      The Sunday NYT used to be a weekly treat for me. Now? Screw ’em. I wouldnt buy it on a bet. Not even for the crossword.

      • Scrofula

        Thankfully they syndicate the crossword just about everywhere.

      • ariel_gee_398

        A lot of local papers reprint the Sunday crossword the next week, I’ve found.

  • Marceline

    OT: While Barack was checking the wiretap Michelle decided to visit a school.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/politics/ct-michelle-obama-school-visit-20170303-story.html

  • bookish
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      One Somali kid lost toes to frostbite because he got caught in a storm. It’s really awful.

    • Jack Tenhet

      So is Murica great again yet? Can it stop now?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He’s so angry he’s sputtering. Tap-p-p-p!

  • Biff52

    Maybe, instead of inpeaching 45*, we can court martial him as CiC? Seems simpler to me. Like this, but without a happy ending, evar:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXlUS5-ag_g

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Y’know, the little bitty window that plays in on my laptop is damn near as bit as the tv I originally watched that on (I may be exaggerating. Slightly.). Of course, it wasn’t in color then, either.

      • Hutch

        If you’re that old, Pinkham, then you remember the lyrics:

        “Stranded! Stuck on the toilet bowl!
        What do you do when you’re stranded
        And you can’t reach the roll?”

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I do, indeed! LOL

    • Gwennie_G

      Well that brought back memories of sneakily staying up late on Sunday nights and watching whatever reruns the local station was showing because we didn’t have cable.

      • Biff52

        I’m an olde, so I saw it on the first run. No cable then, just wabbit ears.

    • Flashman

      It would be ironic justice if Trump ended up being the last occupant of Gitmo.

      • Biff52

        1) Lock him up!
        2) Send the staff home.
        3)???
        4) No, that’s it.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Help us 25th Amendment. You’re our only hope.

    • diane surette

      Pence gotta go, too. EMAILS!

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        At this point no one in that administration can be trusted. I feel like there need to be some kind of emergency elections, though that’s not possible.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Trump is having another Ambien episode.

    • shaar dula

      you mean right now or the one in the morning?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The Ambien Walrus is Paul

  • therblig

    trumpy must have the clapp and it’s affecting his brain.

  • Belasaurius

    to be fair, lots of us stab people with broken margarita glasses

    • exinkwretch

      If the pee hookers aren’t producing a desirable stream, that’s the go-to response!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I don’t always stab people but when I do, I stab them with broken margarita glasses. – The Most Treasonous Man in the World

    • Shanzgood

      This is another reason I don’t drink tequila any more.

    • BadKitty904

      But only if they spill my margarita first. Then it’s self-defense.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      This may be petty, but sometimes when I see his ugly countenance I think where the fuck does he get off ridiculing or judging other people’s appearance.

      • Hutch

        Trump is the one who opened the superficial can, so petty away!

      • onedollarjuana

        Nice red eyes.

    • BadKitty904

      It’s astounding…
      Time is fleeting…
      Madness takes its toll…

      • The Wanderer

        I categorically refuse to imagine him doing the Time Warp Dance. Particularly the pelvic thrusts.

        • BadKitty904

          But it’s just a trump to the left!

          • The Wanderer

            And a pence to the right?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ugh.

          • Shanzgood

            I lived in the U.K. too long so now I’m imagining an elaborate fart-dance.

        • H0mer0

          he already did it to the chairs during the 2nd debate

          • The Wanderer

            Ah yes, so he did. One of the chairs had to be put down and the other is still in heavy counseling.

        • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

          He knows how to Tapp dance.

  • bookish

    http://www.csmonitor.com/World/2017/0304/Will-the-US-and-Russia-dance-or-duel

    From the Middle East to Latin America, from Ukraine to China, Russia is flexing its diplomatic and military muscles in a manner not witnessed since the cold war. And the world had better get used to it. “Russia is not some regional dwarf,” says Andrei Klimov, deputy head of the international affairs committee of the upper house of parliament, “but a world power with its own zone of influence.”

    That attitude spells trouble for the international system that America has dominated for decades. “Russia has positioned itself as the challenger of the global liberal order the United States has promoted,” warns Eugene Rumer, head of the Russia and Eurasia Program at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, a think tank in Washington. “Russia will continue to poke and prod us.”

    So the question remains: Will there be a rapprochement between the US and Russia or a dangerous new era of bellicosity and brinkmanship?

  • BadKitty904

    If these traitors are as competent at covering-up as they are at “governing”…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e9c40e43e96246d59b2a947e89a66041c9d73d6d216bf7365b363c52482dbac.gif

    • Scrofula

      OH! Uh, no, no humanity.

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    Discovering this morning’s epic presidential dump-tweet made me feel MUCH better about the insomnia that had me awake at such an unspeakable hour, so much that I’m actually ENJOYING the twitterings of of his hilariously deluded followers.

    Somehow that has turned into an hour-long effort by me to convince an alt-right wingnut to tell me, via a twat, what “pizzagate” is by pretending I have no idea what that is, have never heard of Andrew Breitbart, and have sensory impairments that prevent me from watching the video he sent me.

    Anyway, this is all delightfully insane and I’m very much looking forward to watching Weak T’s spokesidiots and GOP CongressCritters attempt to defend it and pretend it is even a tiny bit normal.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Oh, yes. I may have to break a pledge to myself and watch “the shows” tomorrow morning. With an Irish coffee or two.

    • Shanzgood

      You’re a little bit evil. I like it.

  • BloviateMe

    Give it a little tappy, tapp tapp tapparoo.

  • Jgb979

    HOLY SHIT ALEX JONES IS 7 YEARS OLDER THAN ME!

    So he just declassified the FISA warrant right?

    I guarantee you this was discussed in the Russian intel meeting he paid 100% attention to 🙄. He just read a story on Breitbart, trying to get out in front of the shitstorm he’s inches away from facing, and using his Herculean powers of deduction concluded that Obama did it.

    There could legitimately be weeks not months left in the Trump presidency.

    *pops some effing popcorn.

    • Claire

      No way is that guy 43, unless he just decided he liked that age and was going to stay there another decade or so.

      • Scrofula

        I suddenly feel such a young 40. Alex Jones actually made my morning.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        He was on Public Access TV in Austin in the 90s, doing local investigations linking our city council to a much larger plot by the Clinton administration to impose martial law. That sort of thing. He was young and actually thin then. His live call-in show was hilarious, giving stoners a chance to disrupt his show with senseless questions. When I was told that his show went national, I thought I was being lied to. Then I saw him all porked out and redfaced. I guess Austin was just a trial run for the big time. And no way is he 43, unless he was a very young man when he lived in Austin.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    He still screwed over Hillary Clinton while sitting on this. I say we owe him nothing.

    Also he may have been catfished but he thought he was in a relationship with a 15 year old. Still gross.

    • Claire

      If by “he” you mean that ratfucking bastard Comey, I agree. Regardless of what he was or was not sitting on, he still helped throw the election for Trump by making a literal federal case out of what he had to know was a giant nothingburger. The only fruit basket he’s getting from me would be a year or two off for good behavior, maybe.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        First paragraph is Comey, second is that weird creeper whose name I feel uncomfortable typing.

        • BloviateMe

          Carlos Danger

    • Shanzgood

      Stil gross, yes.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He-Weiner?

      I think the great uncovered story of that whole episode is how desperately he seems to resent his wife for staying with him.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Edited.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        I have no idea how Huma didn’t end election night by beating Weiner to death with a baseball bat.

        • The Wanderer

          Has anyone seen Tony lately? Maybe she did bludgeon him to death.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Probably hugging her kid really, really hard.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s what I did. While sobbing.

    • Jennifer R

      Both of them can rot under the jail for all I am concerned.

  • BloviateMe

    When did Editrix become a weird purple Christmas tree?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I told you to eat only one of those little tabs

      • BloviateMe

        Mea Gulpa.

    • rebecca

      shy broke the site the other night and when it came back, my me was gone :(

      • BloviateMe

        Sounds like the sort of thing only an extended session foot massage could fix.

  • bookish
  • yyyaz

    So, tata Shitgibbon and Half-Pence. What can be dug up on Shitbag* Ryan before it’s too late?

    *ZEGS is far too whimsical for this POS rat-dick gobbler

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Is there a Republican this scandal won’t end up implicating?

    • puredog

      “President Hatch? President Hatch? Please come to a white courtesy telephone.”

      • yyyaz

        *whimper*

  • BadKitty904
  • WomanInThePersistence

    I love Julie Andrews. Just sayin’

    https://youtu.be/dtdP9gyBuzI

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    ok but if Comey really is a stand up guy, how could he have supported Trump while knowing what he knows? Didn’t he have a Trump sign in his yard? Was that not real?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Yeah, but do we know who put it there? And why did he change his party registration?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Fair point. But I won’t forgive him for his “SHE WAS SO CARELESS OMG” press conference.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          I agree. That was very unprofessional, and that’s how he wound up in the hole he dug for himself.

        • H0mer0

          what was careless? she did nothing wrong!

    • Claire

      Comey’s got to be in this up to his ears too.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Naw. I thought his first press conference was very unprofessional, and that’s how he dug his hole.

        From there he was trying to protect himself first, and the FBI second, and his press conf was only compounded by his editorialized testimony.

        I do think his personal dislike for Clinton was a bias, but let’s not forget, he cleared her too.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I just can’t get past the Carlos Danger’s laptop BS

        • H0mer0

          I got the sense that he had to throw the Trumpsters and Giuliani’s rogues off the trail or at least throw some stale meat.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He was so standup that he went before the American public a week and a half before the election and breathlessly spout a bunch of unsupported speculation about Hillz.

      cough*bullshit*cough

    • puredog

      Actually, that sign was outside of his fenced property, on the parking strip. Could have been put there by anyone, including the photographer.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Lost

    Misc. Marbles.

    If found, please return to

    Donald J Trump c/o Trump Tower.

    • Scrofula

      Just toss em. They’re Russian marbles, probably bugged.

    • Donny is a hamburger and fries short of a happy meal

      • Carpe Vagenda

        So just the coke, huh?

        • Shanzgood

          Broken toy.

          • that was made in ‘Jina

          • Carpe Vagenda

            and not the jina that’s like plumbing, neither.

      • The Wanderer

        It’s the all new Unhappy Meal. Cold burger with a bite taken out, some dead silverfish, and a maze on the side of the box where you try to get the motorcade past the book repository.

  • Tony Lucente

    Edible arrangements are really nice too if you didn’t want to go with a plain-jane fruit basket!!!

    • Claire

      I see what you did there.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I don’t know if it’s true, but Trump bought Melania from Putin.

  • Reality Kills

    Donnie really sounds insane!

  • BloviateMe

    I just read somewhere that Trump bought Melania from Putin.

    • Claire

      I read that too! A lot of people are saying it.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Did you know that Trump bought Melania from Putin?

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Also, I think Putin sold Melania to Trump.

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • mancityRed6

      I literally just read that on the internets, so it must be true.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Spinal Tapp

    This scandal goes to eleven!

  • Reality Kills

    Impeach Donnie. He is not mentally fit to do his job.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Presidential as fuck.

  • yyyaz

    I wouldn’t want to be Iran, right about now. DPRK is probably safe, what with Ghyna giving fuckface orange his “patent.”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I have gotten absolutely nothing done today because I am fucking GLUED to this story.

    • rebecca

      ME TOO! well, except for “writing this story.” I got that done today.

      • Hutch

        Excellent post!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    If only someone had warned us that Donald Trump does not have the temperament to be President of the United States.

  • StlSaxist

    Not intending to give cover to Mr. Comey, but considering the investigation into Sessions, congress is compromised. We don’t know how deeply it’s compromised. The question is now whether that foreign influence extends to the FBI. Hold off on the fruit basket, but keep it in mind.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I don’t know if foreign influence extends to the FBI directly, but I am nearly certain that there was a group in the NY field office, criminal division that was compromised by the Trump campaign.

      • mancityRed6

        and infowars, probably WND and brainfart, too.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Or perhaps which found the Trump campaign convenient to its existing activities.

      • RobespierreHoo

        Rudy’s people, carefully cultivated from USAO days. An entire snake pit of fascist vipers, and Comey knew they were there.

    • shivaskeeper

      Congress is either going to let Sessions’ perjury stand or they aren’t. Any if them with foresight will not let it stand as its a bad precedent to allow. If they do allow it to go unchallenged, the “Sessions defense” will be used for all time in the future.

      There is hope they will do something about it just because of that.

  • Miles Monroe

    It’s like watching a scorpion sting itself to death in slow motion; so pathetic that compassion makes you want to feel sorry for the poor doomed creature–except for the fact it’s a venomous creepy crawly, and you’re stuck inside the jar with it …

  • goonemeritus

    As my conservative friends never tired of pointing out to me “if you have nothing to hide you shouldn’t mind being wire tapped”

    • mancityRed6

      Actually, I don’t. They’d probably kill themselves from the boredom.

    • TJ Barke

      Hoisted by their own petard.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I thought we weren’t supposed to make fun of petards around here?

  • mancityRed6

    Very, very good writing. A metric shit tonne of info in this and all boiled down to very nice concise points.
    Oh, and snarky.

    • Needs more dick jokes. Unless Twitler is enough of one

      • yyyaz

        The first and only time Twitler has been enough dick for anything or anyone.

        • mancityRed6

          for all the people who have done work for him, he’s one of the biggest dicks there is.

          • yyyaz

            Touche.

      • mancityRed6

        I’ll agree, but there is a time and a place for dick jokes, and this current time with what is literally right around the corner is a scary and wondrous time, and, this time, I do appreciate the lack of.
        Just this once.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        The dick in the WH doesn’t count? He’s a joke, for sure.

      • Jennifer R

        Just give us a few moments and I am sure our dear Editrix will gently lead us down to the promised land where dick jokes sprout from the ground like six foot tall purple veiny mushrooms.

        • shivaskeeper

          That’s some imagery there. The goggles, they do nothing!

        • Jack Tenhet

          She said with eery, grotesque imagery. I love that!

      • BadKitty904
    • Martini Ambassador

      I’m tryna figure out your new avatar, but Disqus cuts the head off when I embiggen. Hint?

      • mancityRed6

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fac0806ea71b59e00d1376ba72ab697e859f9f433e67e86d76de4d730fb9bbe8.jpg
        Let’s just say I’m trying to do something good.
        And yeah, that’s me, around 4 or 5.

        • Hutch

          Awww!

          • mancityRed6

            I really think the apple and the overalls sets it off nicely.
            Plus you can see the rug my grandparents had for years.

        • Martini Ambassador

          Adorbs!

          • mancityRed6

            My dad’s dad bought the wagon. All metal and rubber on the wheels. the only thing plastic were the little cups covering the ends of the axles. It’s still at my parent’s house.

          • tomamitai

            Is that a Radio Flyer?

          • mancityRed6

            yes it is, and I still have it, it’s just at my parent’s, with my lincoln logs.

  • Skaarphy

    OT: Lover, Lover, Lover (live, 2010)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDYDkM-zT4I

    • Jack Tenhet

      Thank you! I absolutely LOVE Leonard Cohen. Chelsea Hotel, Famous Blue Raincoat, The Future, all of it really. Even bought “You Want it Darker” through the interwebs.

      • Skaarphy

        You’re welcome. Never got around to “You want it darker”, I heard some songs but but they were, honestly, way too dark for me. I might listen to them one of these days if I can muster up the coutage.

        • Jack Tenhet

          No, they are very dark but I admit I kinda like that sometimes. I fluctuate. Right now, I’m listening to Boomtown Rats “Rat Trap”.

      • Skaarphy

        How about this in the meantime: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHs0Efk8y-Q

        • Jack Tenhet

          Wow! I love this! I have to find more!

          • Skaarphy

            Something completely different, but not all all unrelated: The pre-perestroiky East-German band City with their very popular song “Am Fenster” (“at the Window”):
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se-8CsPBDF8

  • BadKitty904
    • Sardonicuss

      Queeg was the model of erudite lucidity compared to the Orange menace.

      • BadKitty904

        Here’s hoping we find out once Sniffles is in the witness-box…

        • Sardonicuss

          It will be a lot of “I don’t recalls” and “I can’t remembers”.
          He will need….the Gom Jabbar.

          • The Wanderer
          • Sardonicuss

            He will ride …..The Mare of Steel!

          • tomamitai

            Please, he’s more likely to get the parachute of gold. This is still America, after all.

      • yyyaz

        Your average Daffy Duck cartoon is Einsteinian in comparison.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m thinking Fred C. Dobbs toward the end of “Treasure Of Sierra Madre”.

      • BadKitty904

        Niiiiice!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    When they finally bring in the padded van and haul him away in a straightjacket after a strong shot of Thorazine, I wonder if the men in the white coats will be wearing jackboots.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    3,000 people marching for trans rights in Chicago last night. Three. Thousand. People. For transgender people. My point is, Dems and Progressives are FIRED UP AF and we ain’t goin’ nowhere, and you leave our Barry alone, Drumpf.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I guess the Russia connection stories were getting close to Unpeachment levels … so, time for some idiotic tweets to distract the media.

  • BloviateMe

    I’ve been watching news all morning, and no one is covering the Apprentice thing, just all the lies about Russia. Dishonest fake news.

    • Sardonicuss

      Hey, you “enemies of the people”….look over here where I tell you god damnit!
      I “hear bye” demand it!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Ahnold is crying all the way to the bank.

    • Crank Tango

      Make the Apprentice Great Again!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “Again”?

        • Crank Tango

          It’s my something nice for the day.

  • Raan

    Thoughts, in order of appearance:
    Holy shit, Alex Jones is only thirteen years and probably some-odd months older than I am? He has aged like a glass of milk on a table in Guam.

    “police state tactics”

    OH YES BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT CLINTON’S PIZZA ORDERS AND PODESTA’S RISOTTO RECIPE okay that last one we did need.

    Just out: The same Russian Ambassador that met Jeff Sessions visited the Obama White House 22 times, and 4 times last year alone.

    Yes. That is what ambassadors do. They occasionally meet with heads of state.

    Regardless of why Comey didn’t sign on to the Russia findings, he can still go fuck himself for releasing that letter right before the election.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Extra points for “glass of milk on a table in Guam”.

      • Raan

        Thank you.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I am pretty sure Jones’s habit of eating a brisket of BBQ everyday shirtless didnt help either

  • Belasaurius

    my guess is he’ll start a war soon to distract us. Sorry North Korea

    • The Wanderer

      A deputy NSC member reportedly asked the Pentagon to bring over the list of direct force options we could take against the DPRK.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Sorry Messicans

    • BadKitty904

      A genuine concern. Or faking a “terrorist attack.” The GOP is not above doing either, if it will keep them in power.

      • tomamitai

        It’s how Putin sealed the deal to become tsar president of Russia.

    • janecita

      My money is on Grenada.

      • mancityRed6

        only so he can put up a hotel.

        • shastakoala

          Or the new Trump U Medical School for those that can’t read goodly.

    • yyyaz

      My bet is Iran. NK is a proxy for China where cheeto turds is still trying to business.

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, like we won’t be fucked from that

        • yyyaz

          Bigly, etc. I am so sick of using the Traitor in Chief’s preschool vocabulary…blechhh.

    • BeachBum

      I may need to re-watch Wag the Dog.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • janecita

    I’m turning 40 on May 2nd. Am I going to be as wrinkled as Alex Jones in three years? I’m scared!!

    • The Wanderer

      I have over 12 years on Alex Jones. I look better, because I think evil thoughts to keep me young-looking.

    • mancityRed6

      I am the same age as him
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/59bd2fc2be1bacb618db3fba9f8c2cacbec31c5cd16ba31e6c116b3e6961beb7.jpg
      don’t take his trucker speed or spend your life claiming “false flag” on literally every thing and you’ll be fine.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Do you fill each moment of your life with hate, bile, and paranoia? No? Then probably not, young lady.

    • rebecca

      no. you won’t.

    • BloviateMe

      I was pretty shocked to find out that he’s 3 years younger than me. For him it’s clearly not the years, it’s the mileage.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m 50. And do not look anything like that. Honest.

      • Yr. Gma

        I’m three digits and I look better.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Avoid meth, steroids, and red meat & alcohol for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert…and you’ll have nothing to worry about.

      • Erala Contratista

        I don’t avoid red meat, alcohol, pasta or tamales and I’m old enough to be Alexei’s mama and I definitely felt smirky when I saw that picture.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Nah! I’m turning 44 on July 12th and I still have a full head of hair and virtually no wrinkles at all. I was as shocked as everyone else here was when I read that he was only 43.

  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-budget-idUSKBN16B0NC?feedType=RSS&feedName=newsOne&google_editors_picks=true

    Several Republicans this week on Capitol Hill raised concerns about the planned cuts to the State Department.

    “I am very concerned by reports of deep cuts that could damage efforts to combat terrorism, save lives and create opportunities for American workers,” said U.S. Representative Ed Royce, the Republican chairman of the House of Representatives Foreign Affairs Committee.

    Senator Marco Rubio, a Florida Republican, tweeted earlier this week: “Foreign Aid is not charity. We must make sure it is well spent, but it is less than 1% of budget & critical to our national security.”

  • SCK

    Dead fuck Jones is only 43? I thought I looked out of shape and ugly at 47… and that he must be like 60 or something. Phew… I feel better about myself already! Thanks Wonkette!

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    Cheers to all those GOP CongressCritters who, just last summer, said with straight faces, on national television, that making Weak T POTUS was a not only reasonable but totally great idea.

    They should all be made to watch all those clips of themselves every single night before they are allowed to go to bed.

    • shivaskeeper

      Some of them from the next cell over. That isn’t constitute cruel and unusual punishment though.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    You guys. This really might be the thing that does it. I mean, look at T’s reaction through all those tweets: he’s freaked out before but never this hard.

    He’s afraid.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    →Look over there↓
    ↑Look over there←

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Meanwhile today’s Pro-Trump Rally in Minnesota draws record crowds to St Paul!

    https://www.facebook.com/fox9kmsp/videos/10155085937899138/

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hahahahahahahahaha!

    • Just wait until Breitbart gets through with their photoshopping! It’ll be a yuuuuge crowd! The biggest!

    • BloviateMe

      Good thing they deployed the helicopter to capture the size and energy of the crowd.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Dios mio! There are literally TENS of people assembled!

      • BloviateMe

        Throng of person!

    • mancityRed6

      I have literally seen more people in line for a good taco truck

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There are more people WORKING in a good taco truck.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      10 million, at least!

      • shastakoala

        Plus eleventy.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Yeah, no, that’s not a crowd. That’s not even a clump.

      • BloviateMe

        I forget, how many clumps in a cloister?

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Something tells me they had to park two blocks away and walk. That’s a long way for Trump supporters.

      • shivaskeeper

        Could be a clot.

        • Erala Contratista

          A wad.

    • Sardonicuss

      What do we want!?
      A whole lot more imbeciles to show up to these damn things!
      When do we want it?!
      Like ..3 months ago!!

    • mfp

      sheeeiiiitt…there’s more crowd than that at the weekly ‘oh, behind on your child support payments again’ tuesdays at your friendly neighborhood courthouse in everycounty america

  • Wild Cat

    Mark Levin is another weird zionist fuckturd working for white supremacist Breitbart.

    WTF is going on with my sociopathic ex-brothers?

  • DerrickWildcat

    He’s smoking jazz cigarettes or something.

    • Wild Cat

      neo-nazi jazz June
      and his dictatorship will possibly die soon.

    • Clyde Barrow

      More like meth.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!
  • BadKitty904
  • bookish

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/02/ivanka-trump-feminism-father-cover-bigotry

    Ivanka taking an interest is women’s issues is fine, but using them to cover for her father’s rank bigotry is reprehensible.

    Feminism is not blind support of any other woman regardless of her politics – it’s a movement for justice and a demand for systemic change. That may seem obvious, but it’s a point we’ll need to hammer home over the next four years if we want to prevent Republicans from rolling back women’s rights while pointing to Ivanka and Conway as proof that they couldn’t possibly be sexist.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Is Obama’s ‘Wire Tapp’ The End Of Donald Trump? Maybe! A Holy-Shit-Y’all Investigation Into WTF!

    That’s All Y’all.
    https://www.facebook.com/storiesfromtexas/photos/a.1398950193678955.1073741830.1398035700437071/1714349332139038/?type=3&theater

    • BloviateMe

      I hate that that makes sense to me.

    • Scrofula

      Y’all’s is also a contraction of you all is.
      Y’all’s gettin on my nerves.

      • beingreleased

        Y’all’re gonna have to get used to it.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’ve been using y’all for a while. And I’m from Oregon. It’s a good, gender-free way to refer to groups of people.

          • Sandy Beaches

            I hate being greeted by restaurant servers with, “can I get you guys something to drink,” and only women are at the table.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That’s why I, a nice lady born and raised in Oregon, have stolen “y’all”. It’s not part of my regional vocabulary, but it’s very useful.

      • BloviateMe

        I hung out with a guy from Tennessee back in the AF days, and he would sometimes switch it up with a “you ‘uns.”

        I decided to find it charming.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          How do you feel about the Pennsyltuckian “yinz” and “yinzes”?

    • Erala Contratista

      And all y’all listen to Kinky. Y’hear?

    • jaspersdad

      As a Canadian, WTF?

  • Clyde Barrow

    George Soros is going to go broke if he keeps paying for all the Fake News™ and trolls. And to think I haven’t even received my share of the Soros loot yet….procrastinator!

    • Kenji

      He’s never paid anyone for protests or fake news—but he never paid them far more promptly than Trump ever did for work actually done!

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • data_ninja

    Look, it’s “tapp” because he really likes more ‘p’ on everything.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Like “fapp”.

    • Flashman

      Urine the winner’s circle with this!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      As far as comments go, on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re an eight.

      I’ll show myself out now.

  • OrG

    Whatever, Fuck Comey.

  • andyshelt

    “Breitbart is pissed”

    Shit, must be a day with a “y” in it!

    • Clyde Barrow

      Same paradigm as their meth use…

    • mancityRed6

      the usual gang at that site are pissed at all the paid commenters coming over and talking trash. I pointed out, very helpfully I might add, that the reason being was that it was the second link on the subject on the google news homepage.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    ‘Trix seems (rightly) proud of this one. Here’s how she introduced it on the Book of Faces: “and here it is. fuckin’ BOOM y’all.” That’s really all she needed to say isn’t it?

  • Jack Tenhet

    Now I know I can be wrong a LOT but it seems to me that the best, most logical way to put all this to rest is. . . umm. . . an INVESTIGATION. I mean, if 45 were really so concerned about Bamz having done something illegal, he’d be more open to a complete investigation of Russian interference as the nature of the evidence and how it was collected would be part of such an investigation, right? I’m asking because I don’t really know. Maybe whenever Tx Depratment of space tacos gets here, he can better answer this.

    • Scrofula

      Let’s appoint TX Dept as special prosecutor. He’s had a half-week experience now.
      I’ll handle the mail.

      • Jack Tenhet

        I’ll absolutely vote for that. He knows his stuff.

        You handle the mail, and ffs don’t use AOL.

        • Scrofula

          Oh, no, email is above my paygrade. I just date-stamp and staple actual paper, stick it in the right slot.
          And yes, I earned two degrees to do that.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Well that is the best way to be secure. Also too, send everything via courier service.

          • Scrofula

            I had a bike messenger roommate. They DO have the best drugs, as a bonus.

          • Jack Tenhet

            Yes they do! I miss enjoyable drugs. Only drugs I can do now are the no fun legal ones.

  • Amelia

    When they started showing up on Wonkette early this morning, I thought these tweets would be like all the others, a bright flash of crazy and then on to the next, but…

    Could this be the crazy that makes the bucket overflow? Is this…HOPE I FEEL??

    Nah, probably indigestion.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bottomless bucket. Ask the waitress for a refill.

      • BeachBum

        Um, bottomless you say ?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          You’d prefer topless?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Stop eating those Trümp Tower Taco Bowls®

  • BadKitty904
  • Susan Szews

    I’ve been following Louise Mensch on the Tweeter for a few months now and yeah, I’m drinking the Kool-Aid that she’s serving up. Her blog posts and tweets are convoluted as hell, but if you read them carefully and read them along with Adam Khan (@Khanoisseur), it all starts tying together.

    • Jennifer R

      Right or not, it’s a damn good read.

    • mfp

      i’ve read her theories, i’m with ya…as far down the rabbit hole as this all is, louise mensch’s scenario is as plausible as everything else that’s already known

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Is it possible that Obama had Trump’s wires taped, so that they didn’t burst from the freezing temperatures and flood Trump Tower in electrons?

    • Shucky Ducky

      Thanks Obama!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • ViveLaPersistence

      I miss the good old days when presidents articulated their well-reasoned reflections using complete, grammatically-correct, intelligible sentences. Circa early January 2017.

      • NellCote71

        This statement from TR dos not use “very, very,” “tremendous,” or bigly once. Nor does TR brag about his electoral college win once. Very unprecedential.

        • Querolous

          Hair Twitler – “Speak obnoxiously and carry a limp dick.”

  • veska

    Wait, can we go back to Alex Jones being only 43? I thought he was in his 50s.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      at least- I’m 13 years older than him and don’t look early that bad. And I’m no testament to clean living

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I’m 55. I thought 60s.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Only 50 IQ points?

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Poor Bamz can’t be free of this asshole.

    “Kevin Lewis, a spokesman for Obama, said in a statement early Saturday afternoon: “A cardinal rule of the Obama Administration was that no White House official ever interfered with any independent investigation led by the Department of Justice. As part of that practice, neither President Obama nor any White House official ever ordered surveillance on any U.S. citizen. Any suggestion otherwise is simply false.”

    Officials at the FBI and the Justice Department declined to comment.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/03/04/trump-accuses-obama-of-nixonwatergate-plot-to-wire-tap-trump-tower/?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_pp-trumptap-813am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.cff9fec9914e

    • Scrofula

      From the last thread, some former Bamz officials did respond:
      “Former deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes also tweeted back at Trump: “No President can order a wiretap. Those restrictions were put in place to protect citizens from people like you.””

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Thanks for this! I’m going to tweet it.

        • Scrofula

          Came from Politico; people who know how should be able to get the actual tweet–it IS a pretty sweet response.

  • bookish

    Key players in the Trump-Russia scandal. Includes Felix Sater, as part of the Trump Russia dossier.

    http://www.inquisitr.com/4031863/donald-trump-russia-tip-sheet-meet-carter-page-and-other-key-players/

  • Valkyrie

    OT, but I lol’d

    These may be the best police blotter comments ever. pic.twitter.com/d6bojSgOZB— Kokujin (@Kaibutsu) March 4, 2017

  • snigsy

    Lol: “The White House ha not responded to requests asking what prompted Trump’s tweets.”

    • Sardonicuss

      Ohhh. Can’t wait for the “Hitler bunker with subtitles” version of this.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Spicer and Conway are trying to throw the other into the line of fire.

      • Sardonicuss

        “Her feet….on the fucking couch..right there! Did you see it?” – Spicer

    • axonneuron

      They’re probably still trying to figure it out.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Shit….I’m supposed to be at a wedding in like, 10 minutes, and here I am dicking around glued to the computer wolfing down the schadenfreude. How am I going to explain this to the bride?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Are you the groom?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Or the clergyperson?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Or the person who is supposed to speak or forever hold their piece peace?

          • The Wanderer

            At my wedding, I offered to pay a friend to baa loudly when the minister got to that question.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Embraceable Ewe.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Snort! You crack me up. You should get your own comedy show.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          You are even later to the wedding.

      • BeachBum

        Ha !

      • Jonny On Maui

        He’s the designated crasher…

    • Serai 1
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        DAWWW!!

        • Serai 1

          WHO’S A GOOD BOY?!

      • The wisdom of dogs. I’m going to go build a model now.

    • Doug Langley

      She won’t notice. She’s too busy tweeting.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It has a fine bouquet, does it not? A mix of blueberries, chocolate, and a whiff of rats departing a sinking ship.

    • BeachBum

      Yeah, as long as you’re not the groom I think you’re ok.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’m supposed to be heading to a Resistance Food Truck Rodeo,. Can’t stop reading…

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Um, Trixie, my Schaden has been freuding for more than four hours. Should I see a specialist?

    • yyyaz

      Try the freude straight up, much tastier.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Come on over. I have cake.

  • Flashman

    If Trump goes, Pence goes, too. Whether or not he participated, he benefited. Plus, you have to be pretty fooking ignorant to be around all this Russia stuff and not ask a few questions. That said, I would love to know what the relationship between Trump and Pence is like right now. May it be…unpleasant.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Makes you wonder if Paul Ryan (3rd in line) is the guy who’s feeding this stuff to Trump?

      • Amelia

        Would explain why he keeps his lips firmly attached to Trump’s ass. If Ryan speaks out, SCROTUS won’t read the bullet point lists he sends him anymore.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    It’s been a while since I’ve felt like posting this.

    https://youtu.be/eaweoMfJlHU

  • Persistent Demme

    Oh, it’s worse than Watergate alright, just not the way you mean.

    • A_Changeling

      Peegate?

    • geoffalnutt

      This is international.

  • Serai 1

    He still jumped the gun on Hillary, so I say he’s still a POS, no matter what his opinion on Russia is.

    • Scrofula

      Either part of a clear conspiracy, or incompetent and mismanaging his department. There will be no baskets of fruit from me.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        A basket of deplorables, perhaps

        • Scrofula

          He bought that all on his own.
          If this was Japan he’d’ve seppuku’d by now.

  • weejee
    • OrG

      Send him to the Iron Maiden.

      • beingreleased

        Excellent!

      • geoffalnutt

        It may be Polonium Pam.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I knew there was a reason I didn’t watch.

  • Reality Kills

    When paranoia takes over, life can be difficult.

    • Scrofula

      Is that a cry for help?

      • Reality Kills

        Pretty much. Donnie really needs help.

        • Scrofula

          CSB: I got 5150’d once through a drunken misunderstanding, and got sent to a bona fide looney bin (they knew I didn’t belong, but it was the only open bed). Anyway, almost 12 Monkeys, but I did go to a counseling session just to have something to do.
          Anyway, paranoia is a BITCH. These guys were really struggling to accept that there weren’t any cameras in their bedrooms.

          • Jennifer R

            Don’t need cameras when they open the damn door every ten minutes for a suicide check.

          • Scrofula

            Not to mention the bathroom doors don’t shut completely.
            These guys believed their HOMES were watching them. Forces unseen, watching and conspiring. These guys were slowly coming out of psychosis, and it was kind of heartbreaking to watch.

          • Jennifer R

            Better than watching someone slip in to psychosis.

          • BeachBum

            I hate when that happens !

          • Scrofula

            It was actually ALMOST worth it, just to see that side of life (and only lasted three days, praise jebus).

          • Jack Tenhet

            Yeah, I spent three weeks in a locked ward after being 5150’d myself, though not at all a misunderstanding in my case. 24 hour video serveillance and being locked in a room alone 22 hours a day. Group and meals were the only time I had contact with other people. Lot of major paranoiacs. One guy, huge guy, talked only in Star Trek references as in he believed he was on the Enterprise. It was an experience.

          • Scrofula

            Wow. Tough break. Isolation alone would’ve destroyed me.
            Unfortunately I didn’t get any cool psychotics for conversation. Although one who was so deep he couldn’t talk kicked my ass at fucking Checkers.

    • weejee

      ♪ Paranoia strikes derp
      Into his heart is has herped ♪

    • Yr. Gma

      Into your life it will creep.

    • beingreleased

      To be fair, everyone is out to get him.

      • Reality Kills

        SS is protecting him. Things are going to get ugly when he starts thinking that his SS attache is after him.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    If only, during the debates, someone had asked him, what is a FISA court or, better still, how does a bill become law? We wouldn’t be in this position today.

    • OrG

      Wouldn’t have made any difference.

      • yyyaz

        Yep, way too eggheaded for the morans.

      • HooverVilles

        So true! Sad!

    • Unlikely. His supporters don’t know and don’t care to learn how those work and the folks who wanted to “stick it” to HRC only cared about sticking it to HRC.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Yeah, I’m kinda with the, “James Comey can go fornicate himself with a fireplace poker” crowd no matter how this shakes out. The second he opened his mouth about Weiner’s e-mails before even having a warrant to look at them is the second I lost any respect for him.

    • OrG

      That long?

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah. I was driving to meet a new client, that turned out to be a royal trumpanzee when I heard it on the radio.(Get rid of ALL the regulations) Gawd was just cheezin me, I know it.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    It took His Fraudulency less than 2 months to be where Nixon was in year 5 – paranoid, lashing out at “enemies” both real and imagined, and utterly unpredictable.

    • Jennifer R

      Coke is a hell of a drug.

      • Jonny On Maui

        They tell him it’s coke cuz that’s classier. It’s really meth.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Can’t fix stupid.

      • BadKitty904

        I’m drinking one now and notice no perceptible effects. Am I doing it wrong?

        • Jennifer R

          Try taking it rectally.

    • BadKitty904
    • Jonny On Maui

      We’ll, everything happens faster now since our attention span is SQUIRREL!!

    • Cranky Man

      This steep, slippery slope to out right fascism started when Nixon was pardoned. Ever since ….. Well, we’re about to find out if humans are smart enough to have democracy.

      • yyyaz

        Thank you. The.First.Big.Mistake. And as is apropos, committed by a run-of-the-mill replitard.

        • Crank Tango

          The irony of Chump aboard the Gerald Ford was not lost on me…

        • Cranky Man

          Not the first meat puppet, but surely one of the meatiest.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    All I ever feel as this shit comes out is really fucking pissed at people who voted for him and people who failed to vote against him.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      And the only vote against that was worth a damn was a vote for Clinton

      • Scrofula

        McMullin could’ve stepped up more.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          McMullin should have lent his support to Clinton. He was no alternative. Stein, I get, she’s a Russian quisling, but McMullin needed to step aside.

          • Scrofula

            He was a viable red alternative who could’ve at least taken Utah. Folks like my dad would’ve supported him if he got his name out.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            He got 243,000 votes there to Clinton’s 310,000 and Trump’s 515,000. I think he got the word out. He didn’t present an alternative, but a cop out.

          • Scrofula

            I just mean there were a LOT of folks (like my Dad) who hated Trump but wanted to vote right-wing. When I pointed out McMullin, my Dad had never even heard of him. He would absolutely have voted for the guy, if McMullin had got his campaign moving outside of Utah. I mean, my Dad threw his vote away writing in who knows what (knowing Clinton would take the state anyway).

          • BreakingDeadMen

            He would still own Trump, IMO. Like Stein voters do.

  • Persistent Demme

    How do we prevent a civil war?

    (I’m gonna scroll down to see if this is addressed.)

    Edit: I leave to take a shower, and KA-FOOEY!!!

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Hand out miniature Russian flags.

      • Rick Hill

        Lots of bandaids with little purple hearts on them will go a long way to saving our nation

        • HooverVilles

          “…I always wanted a purple heart…” DJT
          Ah, but not enough for the service avoider to actually serve, amirite?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Abortions for some, miniature Russian flags for others

        • Rick Hill

          All communists are equal…some, more equal than others, though

    • Scrofula

      Simply cut off federal funding to rural red states.
      The tornados and blizzards will slowly take care of it.
      Also halt sales of Lipitor and diabetes meds.
      (No, I wouldn’t do that, but I’m not too worried)

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The Republicans want to that anyway. Self inflicted wound.

        • Scrofula

          Isn’t KS completely bankrupt? One natural disaster could destroy it.

      • Jack Tenhet

        If that happens, can blue people like me and my wife living in red states get refugee status in blue states? I’m seriously asking.

        • Scrofula

          Yeah, see, we have to save the cities somehow.
          But yeah, there’s still room in CA. But bring water.

          • Jack Tenhet

            I always bring my own water wherever I go. it’s a thing.

          • Crank Tango

            We’ve got plenty of people up near me who swear they are moving to Idaho for gun freedumb, so it may be a wash.

      • DuchessD’Orleans

        HAI. I’m in a red state. Our house went underwater, I was narrowly missed by an F3, and I need health care. Don’t punish ME for this shit.

        • Scrofula

          I know, and even the dipshit Trumpers out there deserve compassion. But the premise was civil war. So in my fantasy I have to figure out how to rescue the enlightened ones.

          • DuchessD’Orleans

            I’m also descended from Jefferson Davis, so I’m probably not one to give advice on PREVENTING civil wars.

          • Scrofula

            My mother’s side came from Harrison, AR, home of the Klan. The fam back there isn’t part of that, but still deep red and religious. Pretty tough to bridge that gap, when I nearly married an Iranian (lapsed) Muslim.

    • Daniel Hooper

      Honest answer? Pence is going to have to take over, and make it clear that this is not an Obama plot. Republicans are going to have to drop their support for Trump like a rock, and make it clear that Trump is compromised beyond redemption. Not that this won’t stop some wing nuts anyway, but maybe if they submit to a full, public accounting, they might be able to save some face and avert any major crisis since.

      • Jonny On Maui

        HAHAHAHAHA hahahahaha!!1!1!!

        Thanks. I needed that…

        • snark-lurker

          that was a good one

      • onedollarjuana

        But remember, the typical pattern for today’s Republican party is to double-down on everything.

    • thewalkindude

      Thoughts and prayers

  • Jennifer R

    In an alternate universe where I didn’t get GRS, my new porn name is Wyre Tapp.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Mine’s Cracka With Attitude.

      • Jack Tenhet

        And that’s an early 90’s gansta rap group for sure.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          The best kind! God, I miss the 90s.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I loved 80s rap. Once it went gangsta, there was so much misagenism in it that I found most of the genre distasteful.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Have you heard any recent rap? It makes 90s stuff sound like Pat Boone. I have to admit I clutched my pearls like a disapproving little old lady when I heard it.

          • The Wanderer

            In my estimation, rap as a genre hit its zenith with Baby Got Back, and has been going downhill since. And there are any number of filthy songs from the 1920s that easily hold their own against modern efforts at filthiness.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I like my musical filth well orchestrated which is why I prefer Zappa…

          • The Wanderer

            Dynah Moe Humm?

          • Jack Tenhet

            Strictly Commercial is a brilliant album!

            And who doesn’t love “Billy The Mountain”?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            There’s clever and filthy, and then there’s just gross. I enjoy a clever and filthy rap song.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I used Shazam on some songs cuz I couldn’t understand the lyrics and after, I needed eye bleach.

      • Sheepshagger

        Straight outta motherfucking Greendale . Do a drive by on a Clydesdale.

      • snark-lurker

        it would be with Attitude…but i herd they were getting out of burlesque!

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Burlesque white girl rapper! Now there’s something no one has ever seen or wanted to!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Isn’t that Britney Spears?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Poor Britney couldn’t rap her way out of a paper bag. Bless her heart.

          • snark-lurker

            iz that you, ball zitch?

    • Jack Tenhet

      That’s an 80’s hair metal band for sure.

  • Sheepshagger

    Jeez I’m really starting to warm to Donnie. His twitter fireside chats are very reassuring. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7611dcd26545a8340834f7c34aab1727d345754328d330353d372401527cf3f4.jpg

    • Roadstergal

      Dumpster-fireside chats.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Nockular cavity

    And his entire cabinet, with the possible exception of Ben Carson, has bizarre ties to Russian banks

    So Carson is going to end up President after the smoke clears. Well played, Sleepy Ben!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      At least not much would ever get done, Ben would be too busy pointing out to robbers which guy they wanted to rob, and looking for his own luggage.

      • Nockular cavity

        He can’t even carry off a proper stabbing (hmm, odd problem for a surgeon), so I’m not too worried.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Very sacred election process?” That’s the same election process he was saying was rigged to benefit Hillary, right?

    • TheFamilyThalamus

      GAH pulling my hair out!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I seriously can’t keep up with all of Trump’s bullshit. It reminds me of when Jon Steward would go to his Fox News segment, and say “let’s see what’s happening on Bullshit Mountain today.”

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          It’s like a cow with dysentery. It randomly sprays everywhere.

          • yyyaz

            And we are the pasture.

        • HooverVilles

          I wish Jon Stewart was still on the air.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            He really missed out on the golden age of political satire, but on the other hand, it’s almost too exhausting, and Trump has only been president for 40 days. Imagine how burnt out we’re all going to be in six months.

          • HooverVilles

            I think that Jon both misses the large number of comedic and informative opportunities and realizes it would burn him out.

    • Rick Hill

      Proly the same election process he spent a year and a half pissing on, too

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yeah, it was so sacred, that 5 million filthy Mexicans somehow managed to vote for Hillary without being citizens, but NOBODY voted illegally for Trump.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Except that lady who did.

  • Chadwells

    Sooo…aren’t all those pro-Dampnut rallies organized by Main Street Patriots supposed to happen bigly all over the country today? I hear they are weak, sad and pathetic.

    • yyyaz

      The Fake News™ just showed live video. A laugh riot.

  • Yr. Gma

    Is it illegal for the Russian ambassador to visit the White House in his official capacity? Even 22 times? In eight years?

  • bookish

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2017/03/04/sessions_is_protected_at_the_top_–_by_bannon_133259.html

    The first, most consequential act of Trump’s presidency brought Bannon and Sessions and Miller — now a Bannon righthand man who plays an integral role in writing and implementing Trump’s agenda — together again in crafting the initial immigration ban currently under court review as well as a redrafting by the White House. It was an insular effort, criticized for leaving lawmakers, experts and implementers in the dark, that said everything about who is in charge in the Trump administration.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      As much as I loathe Pence, I don’t see him keeping Bannon or Miller if Trump is forced to step down. We’ll get a crew of fundegelicals instead.

      • Sardonicuss

        If they get Sessions out too….we might just survive this thing yet.

  • cafiene

    I’d never heard of Louise mensch until she started hassling the rogue POTUS account to ID themselves. Now it seems she may have connected all these dots. Hmm

  • thewalkindude

    How dangerous is it that this man goes loose!
    Yet must not we put the strong law on him.
    He’s loved of the distracted multitude,
    Who like not in their judgment, but their eyes;
    And, where ’tis so, the offender’s scourge is weighed,
    But never the offense…

  • Gayer Than Thou
    • BloviateMe

      Damn. Same age as me. I was feeling all good about the Alex comparison, now I feel like an old Russian turnip farmer.

      Thanks a lot.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was doing the same thing – “man, I’m only ten years older than Jones? Damn, I look good.” Now I’m all like “I really need to get myself in shape.”

      • Sardonicuss

        My back has been Fubar for a week. I feel more like an old Russian turnip.

    • Yr. Gma

      That boy takes care of himself.

        • BloviateMe

          I view this as a personal attack.

          • I attack no one but Twitler and his apologists

          • BloviateMe

            I meant by that Justin character, no you.

        • Thiazin Red

          #thatassthough

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Cleans up nice.

      • Scrofula

        Yeah, what’re you trying to say? My morning dog-walk isn’t enough activity? I even showered two days ago!

        • Yr. Gma

          I did not say “That boy takes care of himself, unlike Scrofula” did I? With no picture to go on, I am perfectly willing to concede that you, too, are a fine specimen of manhood every bit as magnificent as Justin.

          • Scrofula

            Why yes, fine specimen indeed–often mistaken for Jason Statham, except crossed with a little Steve Bannon.

    • BadKitty904
    • Roadstergal

      He’s older than me? How come he looks so much younger and more beautiful?

    • snigsy

      I feel like a smug Canadian right now. (Sorry.)

    • Rick Hill

      You know. Since Canada is actually America-lite, we get the chance to take your PM if our preznit goes batshit craezy. Don’t get mad at me, it’s a rule. Someone wrote it down somewhere….

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Can we borrow Queen Liz as temporary Head of State? I’d love to watch her give Herr Dampnuts a thorough dressing down, followed by thrashing him severely with her handbag.

        • Rick Hill

          Sounds fair

        • leemoder

          Then the corgis take their turns piddling on Drumpf’s shoes.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Sadly, he is only my PM in my dreams. And our president has already gone batshit crazy. He came that way. #ItsAFeatureNotABug

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        People are saying this on the Internet. Many people!

  • bookish

    http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Foreign-Policy/2017/0304/What-does-Tillerson-s-low-profile-mean-for-US-leadership-on-human-rights

    Tillerson has barely been heard from as a picture emerges of foreign policy managed by a small team of White House advisers that includes chief political strategist Steve Bannon and President Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner.

    Tillerson has issued few readouts of visits with foreign officials, held no press conferences, and even the State Department daily news briefing – a fixture of US diplomacy that is closely watched not just in Washington but around the world – has not been held for weeks. (It is now scheduled to resume Monday).

    Many senior positions at the State Department sit unfilled, while hundreds of diplomats and foreign-service officers report having no direction or little to do without senior leaders to guide operations. The Trump White House has sent over some personnel from its team to fill in where they can, but some State Department employees say relations with “the new kids on our playground,” as one official called them, are not smooth.

    • nonono

      Do we even have any ambassadors right now?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Wonkette needs to hire Crackas With Attitude to hack in to the Bank of Cyprus, and steal some filthy Trump whore dollars. Man, we could live high on the hog for YEARS off of that loot.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      We could buy an island, move all of us there, and rename it Wonketania.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        We could all eat those cakes we like. Wonk Babbi could be our ruler.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m in!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hack the emails of Wilbur Ross

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Also, too, “Crackas With Attitude” is the name of my next garage band.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, because it clearly takes spectacular technical brilliance to get a looksee into Anthony Weiner’s pants.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or a twitter account…

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Or eyes.

          I can’t tell you how much this pisses me off. He was one of the few politicians I’ve enthusiastically voted for.

      • Crank Tango

        Lemme try.

        “I’m a young female human with a vagina. May I see your penis please, preferably something gross and embarrassing? Tee hee.”

  • ServantToTheStars

    How does the US Government have less controls than Showtime At The Apollo?

  • Sheepshagger

    Can I just say…..the president of the United States is tweeting about being wiretapped like a 15 year old drama queen bitching about Kelly hacking her snapchat. This is the new normal?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s even better- It’s Kelly hacked the Snapchat of my boobs that I sexted to Bryan.

      • snark-lurker

        did i hear boobs?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          pix or GTFO!

    • Amelia

      This is not normal. You have to keep saying it or you’ll fall down the rabbit hole.

  • Reality Kills
    • Scrofula

      Careful though–I used to live near Berkeley.
      There’s some real idiot lefties around.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I regret that I have not further Schadenfreude to give to my country.

    This is my Schadenfreudeschande.

  • Rick Hill

    Hillary Clinton. On an airplane. Reading about pence’s email…”issues”
    http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/2000_1000/58b9e3a51a00003400f41845.jpeg?cache=kzswnagjdd

    • The Wanderer

      I hear Twitter went berserk at that pic.

      • Rick Hill

        I needed this…just so there was photographic evidence her eyes did not roll out of her skull

  • OrG

    Hey guys, I’ve got it.He’s laying the groundwork for an insanity please.

    • Count Awesome

      That’s already been built and now he’s going to make Mexico pay for it.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Martini Ambassador

      How the Trump Administration May Be Skirting Its Own Ethics Rules

      They have ethics rules??!!?

    • Juan de Fuca

      Consider Shahira Knight, President Trump’s special assistant for tax and retirement policy.

      Lobbying disclosures show that Knight lobbied the government on a host of retirement and tax issues for financial services giant Fidelity. In one case, she lobbied against a regulation requiring financial professionals to act in the best interests of their clients when it comes to retirement accounts such as 401(k)s. The regulation is strongly supported by consumer advocates and strongly opposed by Fidelity. Retirement savers lose billions of dollars a year because of conflicts of interest in the industry, the Obama administration estimated.

      Jesus.fucking.christ

      • yyyaz

        Retirement savers lose billions = Wall Street steals billions.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He really doesn’t understand that he can’t bluster his way out of this.

  • Edith Prickly

    Ho-leeee shit..

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Basically.

  • TJ Barke

    Burn, baby, burn!

  • memzilla Ω
  • weejee

    Locally, folks thought there was a March 4 tRump, but it turned out to be a spill-over from the current Comicon.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e5c3dbdc5099de9decbc638d595ceffba209ab42df18d2dce1bf8e537cab1f2.jpg

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • BadKitty904

      And their grammar. And their spelling.

  • BadKitty904
    • HooverVilles

      Funny!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Emergency strategy meeting called in Mar-a-Lago.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/MI8cwyKceCfNS/giphy.gif

    • HooverVilles

      This

    • TJ Barke

      “Circle the wagons!”
      “We’re trying!”

  • Juan de Fuca

    Anybody else getting the feeling that we elected the narrator from The Tell-Tale Heart?

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The plot already seems as thick as a brick.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        as does the POTUS

      • Jack Tenhet

        Jethro Tull agrees.

        • OTB

          Hope you don’t mind if I sit this one out

      • yyyaz

        At least it’s not running down his nose.

      • onedollarjuana

        HIs love’s in the sink.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Ok, seriously…what the actual fuck? This day started out crazy enough & now this too? I can’t even… good think I’m getting drunk tonight.

      • Getting drunk wasn’t on my original list of things to do tonight, but I’m thinking my plans have changed.

  • RobespierreHoo

    This is Berlin, April 1945, and Russian artillery fire is a nonstop cacophony in the background. Question: who is going to get the gasoline to burn the bodies?

    • The Wanderer

      Drain the tanks in the limos.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Tillerson?

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I have matches!

    • TJ Barke

      So when does Trumpenfuhrer get secreted to Antarctica and then Luna?

    • BadKitty904

      It’s Rome, 64AD. You smell smoke and hear fiddle-playing in the distance…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EVZwTMmk8c&t=19s

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I’ve got a 2 gallon can! And some charcoal briquets! And marshmallows with two sticks! A box of graham crackers! And a chocolate bar!
      Smores anyone?

  • Upright Ape

    I’ll buy James Comey a fruit basket the day Cheeto Hitler VonFuckstick McPussygrab is convicted of high crimes and sent to the slammer.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’m not sure I’ll settle for anything less than the last 4 months of my life back, HRC in the WH with a pony, and a new liver. Fuck it, new livers for everybody!!

  • Jgb979

    I love that screencapped series of tweets

    Imagine discovering evidence of a “Nixon/Watergate” like plot involving the good president and his secret cabal of shadow government….

    …and then immediately getting bored with all of that to tweet shit about the Apprentice 30 minutes later.

    • Scrofula

      Good point. In the middle of all this he has to take a shot at Arnold.
      It’d be like:
      Trump: YUGE METEOR ABOUT TO HIT
      SNL LOW RATINGS, TERRIBLE
      EVACUATE EAST COAST
      LOSER NYT WILL FAIL IN YUGE WAVE

    • TeenLaQueefa

      All of the content of those tweets mean exactly nothing to Drumpf.

      He’s not living in the same reality the rest of us are.

      • Jgb979

        Hopefully his reality still accounts for treason prison….

    • OTB

      YES

    • OrG

      IKR?! Like they’re equally important.

    • Yr. Gma

      Every time Donnie mentions him, Arnold looks more statesmanlike.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Well Ahnold actually has governing experience. Jelly much?

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      That’s some grade-A trolling right there!

  • Jamoche

    “A cardinal rule of the Obama Administration was that no White House official ever interfered with any independent investigation led by the Department of Justice,” Lewis said. “As part of that practice, neither President Obama nor any White House official ever ordered surveillance on any U.S. citizen. Any suggestion otherwise is simply false.”

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-accuses-obama-wiretapping-residence-during-campaign-n729056

    Very carefully denying the Obama claims of Donnie’s tweets without denying that such investigations are going on – why, it could almost be read as confirming they exist.

  • Hazmatilda

    I’m new here, just started contributing because of this post. Tons of detail, links to sources, snark, cursing and exploding Scanner heads? Holy shit, I’m so in.

    • BloviateMe

      Welcome! Pants unnecessary.

      • gene108

        Thank goodness!!!!! 🐶🎩🌏☄🎃🕷🐱🙌🏼👍🏾🤝🤛🏾

        • BloviateMe

          Wow, look at all those emojis.

          Mom?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Welcome. Bring your snarkiest, and watch out for falling administrations.

    • TJ Barke

      Just remember, comments are not allowed.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Hope you aren’t wearing pants…

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Wecome to snark central. Best blog on the inter-tubes, and considering that comments are not allowed, also the most brilliant commenters.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Did you bring cakes? The ones we like? ;)

      • BloviateMe

        Cedar cheese works in a pinch.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          CHEESE!

          • Shoto

            I can only eat that real fancy cheese in aerosol cans. I think it might be a law, or something.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yay CHEESE!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Or dildos. We can always use more dildos. They wear out so quickly!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            They just don’t make titanium like they used to…
            *hurls nub over shoulder into pile of rusty nubs*

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Only if you don’t use the stalactite. Protip: don’t use the stalactite.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Oh, now you tell me…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            A mother’s work is never done…

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Although apparently one’s butt probably doesn’t dissolve malachite the same way one’s vaj does.

            https://media.giphy.com/media/83QtfwKWdmSEo/giphy.gif

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Yeah, but a lubed-up stalactite would be a bitch to remove, don’t you think? Although I guess that person would be a legend in their local emergency room…

            That whole thread gives me joy.

        • Yr. Gma

          As opposed to pants?

      • ViveLaPersistence

        This reminds me…did we get around to writing a user guide yet? At this point, the glossary alone is 75 pages.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I think it’s more fun to have no clue what the fuck everyone’s talking about, until you do.

          • Hazmatilda

            that makes a lot of sense. Never mind, I’ll wing it.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Left wing only, without going in circles, please.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Only rule I like is keep some variation the same name, esp if you like changing your avatar. e.g., I am always “cynmac” in some form. Never a ghostie. Or a sock puppet.

          • Paul

            Lots of us are latecomers, arriving waaayyy after some of these “inside jokes” started. I’ve always found people are affable and willing to explain and may even provide one of them linky thingamabobs back to whatever started it. Don’t be shy.

          • NellCote71

            AOT,K.

          • The Witch of Endor

            It certainly is incentive to do some research. Goggle was most helpful and it was fun.

          • arglebargle

            I see no need for an edit. Goggles can most definitely be helpful.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Yep. Here’s a link. It’s rather wordy. Might take a while, but it’s very comprehensive!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Never click the link!!!

            Oh, that one’s ok.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            And never, ever, refer to canned clams. I learned that the hard way!

          • calliecallie

            ISWYDT

        • Hazmatilda

          a user guide may be helpful, did I mention I’m new? I mean I’ve read posts on and off over the last little while as well as some of the comments that aren’t allowed. I also get that pants are wholly unnecessary (in general really), but what does it all reaaaally mean?

          • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

            toast.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            …The chair is against the wall. John has a long mustache…

          • Paul

            That’s above our pay grades. Ask our Queen, Donna Rose.

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            Be careful not to bruise your nocular cavity.

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            And whatever you do, never ever mention Kirby Delauter by name.

          • Lamashtar

            If you’re going to espouse conservative values, try to have a sense of humor, be polite, and use rational arguments.

        • calliecallie

          I actually started working on one, but halfway through I quit like a common Palin.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Have you met Brad yet?

      • ahughes798

        Is Brad the Turgid Love Muscle guy?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Nope. Brad is shy and sends emails. TLM may be Spaghettios. They’ve never been seen the same chat room at the same time.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I never made the connection between Brad and Spaghettios before. Turgid Love Muscle hasn’t been here in months. I wonder if he got locked up?

      • Sandy Beaches

        Brad is tied up in my basement

      • DahBoner

        Maybe you had too much, too fast.

    • BadKitty904

      Excellent timing. Now, light your torch and fetch your pitchfork…

      • Flanders

        Fake news delivered by the king of fake news. Does he have sources? Can he be sued by Obama if this isn’t true? Would he need to name his sources?

        Trump is his own worst enemy. That moron needs to stop ranting on twitter and shut his big fat yapper.

        Here is what the hayseeds believe Trump is going to do.:
        1. Destroy the federal government as we know it.
        2. Get rid of a bunch of brown people.
        3. Get rid of Obamacare and watch the poor die. My previously unaffordable insurance is down to $85/month. My car insurance, from Insurance Panda, is now just $25/month. Under Trump, healthcare will be $500/month or more.
        4. Make the lives of poor kids, the sick, and the elderly worse than they already are.
        5. Drop a bunch of bombs on some colored people in some country somewhere.
        6. Cut taxes on the rich.

        Trump waffles so often on so many different issues it’s almost impossible to know where he stands on anything, except Donald Trump. He is consistent in claiming that he is a genius, a business whiz, super rich and the best qualified person in the country for the office of president, none of which he can back up with facts or figures. And Americans actually voted for this turkey.

        • Sylviajgilles

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !do170c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !do170c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs460WebTownGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!do170c:….,……

    • BloviateMe

      You can even say “cunt” here, if you were allowed to comment. It’s like we’re all on crazy pills.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Or sanity pills in a crazy world.

      • Yr. Gma

        It’s a good thing, too, since mentioning KaC without the word “cunt” is nearly impossible.

        • BloviateMe

          Your wisdom is on full display right now.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      you better have at least one decent dick joke

    • yyyaz
    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Before you can be accepted here, what are your feelings on Canned Clams?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        *snarl*

      • Jack Tenhet

        MONSTER!

      • Hazmatilda

        Never! You monster!

      • Yr. Gma

        Don’t answer that. It’s a trick question. Have you had the blood test yet?

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          There are no trick questions; only trick answers.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        What kind of monster enjoys canned clams?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Nice nym.

      Parenthetically the canonical answer to any mention of canned clams is “You monster!!!”

      • Hazmatilda

        thanks for the tip, y’all (or all y’all) are nice here.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Um. That’s not normally used sincerely around here.

          • Hazmatilda

            damn, it’s going to take a bit of time to get used to this place, isn’t it? All good, I’m up for the challenge.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            We’ll be gentle…usually.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Oh, Pinks just facing and is totally nice. Also you want Pink’s meat.

          • Hazmatilda

            Yes, I suspect so.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Welcome! And throwing a few ameros towards our beloved over lady (DR) is a good thing. Because reader-sponsored and all.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Welcome! Here’s your orientation packet. *THUMP* Right. So . . . The silkwood shower room is over there. The decontamination facility is right next to it – you MUST use it anytime you return from visiting Blightfart, WND or similar. Sorry, you’ll have to incinerate your clothes. Snacks are over there – as the newbie, you have to keep it stocked. Especially the popcorn. OH! The BAR bar is over there. Next to Jonny’s Bud Emporium.

      • Sandy Beaches

        Where are the cocktail weenies? I ask and ask and I never get any cocktail weenies! But the drinks with the little umbrellas ae nice.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Bienvenidos. The taco truck is here on Tuesdays. Pants are optional.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy
    • Snopes Shop

      Must have pics of cute stuff on hand in the likely event that things have gone very, very badly.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Remove your pants and stay awhile, things are getting pretty interesting. Also too, tip your Wonker and try the veal!

    • A_Changeling

      I’m rather new too. I don’t like clams whether they’re canned or not, but I don’t know if that’s acceptable, so don’t tell anybody.

      • LucindathePook

        I just came in awhile ago myself, and I hate clams. But I like clambakes and share my clams with those who do like them.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Feel welcome, you sure are!

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Welcome to the darkside. Feel your anger and let it strengthen you. And be funny. Never forget funny. Mad funny, but funny. It’s important… and kittens. We rely heavily on kittens.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Trying to figure out how to get this on my next protest sign. It’s freakin’ awesome. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ce7293abdd6d2a7b4a9304412990ebda87fc8e9a65d5dac3942f71abba903ad8.png

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • ViveLaPersistence

        All right. That one brought out the onion ninjas.

      • yyyaz

        Mo’ MOPA.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Remember when we could go for eight consecutive years without having every damned weekend ruined by the paranoid ravings of the president? Whatever the wingnuts say about Obama, they can’t say he was always everywhere all the time or that he ever once lost his shit on titter.

  • Paperless Tiger

    What is this, snark? Oh, I get it. Weekday news takes the weekend off, but you guys fuck off all week telling dick jokes and do journalism on the weekend. Seriously, if this election were a movie, Shaft would be kicking Trump’s ass by now. This is the next best thing.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      The election is rumored to be the plot of next season’s American Horror Story…so, yes?

  • SadDemInTex
  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/jim-mattis-appointment-white-house-pushback-anne-patterson-235633
    The skirmish surrounding Patterson’s nomination is the latest in a series of personnel battles that have played out between Mattis and the White House, with each side rejecting the names offered up by the other while the Pentagon remains empty. The White House has yet to nominate a single undersecretary or deputy secretary to the Defense Department, while Work, Mattis’s deputy, is an Obama administration holdover who only agreed to stay on until the secretary taps a deputy of his own.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Mattis has got to realize Trump won’t let him have the staff he wants – only Trump loyalists need apply.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Mattis may well resign if Donnie doesn’t honor their agreement

  • nonono

    Apparently the shit-flipping started before he left the White House: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-flashes-anger-sessions-recusal-russia-stories-tense/story?id=45908106
    Press pool watching through the windows from the lawn, aides listening at keyholes, the image is glorious. And Jared &Ivanka are with him in Florida, Priebus & Bannon are not?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
      • nonono

        I am laughing so hard! I mean I’ve had a huge grin on my face all damn day but that – and “sacred Election” 1st thing – killed me. Thanks RLS!

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Priebus and Bannon were planning to join the trip, but suddenly after the president’s eruption those plans changed. One source said both men volunteered to stay behind in Washington, with another source saying the president seemed to concur that they should.

      As President Trump was in the air aboard Marine One headed for Air Force One on the tarmac at Joint Base Andrews, a last-minute phone call was made from the West Wing to the team on board the president’s plane with a directive to remove Priebus and Bannon from the manifest, sources said. They would not be coming to the Sunshine State.

      • nonono

        right. I read the story before I posted the link. There’s a lot of subtext in those 2 paragraphs. But also everyone saying he only goes batshit when Ivanka/Jared are offline- it sounds like they’re in the nextdoor suite.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          So Shabbat at Mar-a-lago. They won’t have the “little crackers” quote the Two Corinthians. How will 45* ever deal with kosher food? No cheeseburger!?

  • OTB

    Great work, W’ette. This is epic. Let’s just hope something doesn’t happen to Chandra Levy this shit down the crapper of history.

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Excellent analogy. I salute you.

      • OTB

        Ty

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Lots of commentary downthread about “How the everliving FUCK did he convince anybody to actually VOTE for his lying ass?!??!?!?!” Here’s an actual, real deal analysis of how he played psych games on his supporters.

    • TJ Barke

      Linkie no workey.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        that’s the trick

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Try it now.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Sorry. Fixed.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      This so much.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Working now.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I thought the non-working link WAS your comment!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m having no luck with this link.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Fixed.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, that’s depressing as fuck. Thanks, though, for fixing it. I’m going to pour another glass of wine and stare moodily into space.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      So in other words, racist, greedy and stupid!

    • tomamitai

      Oh, please, I didn’t believe that shite from Dilbert guy, why would I believe it from a shrink? Psychology & psychiatry are no more than proto-sciences, at best, and there’s no way Donnie is that clever. He’s just a natural con, and the average yokel was born to be fleeced.

  • Sardonicuss

    Hey! SNL is new tonight with host Octavia Spencer.
    Too bad Trump has done anything embarrassing or traitorous to parody lately…poor writers.

  • Rick Hill

    WH staffers are all “Can’t sleep…trump will be tweeting…can’t sleep…..
    http://cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/images/original/2013/2/20/clownsimpsons.gif

  • gene108

    A cardinal rule of the Obama Administration was that no White House official ever interfered with any independent investigation led by the Department of Justice,” Lewis said. “As part of that practice, neither President Obama nor any White House official ever ordered surveillance on any U.S. citizen. Any suggestion otherwise is simply false.”

    Obama’s response to the Trump tweets.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-accuses-obama-wiretapping-residence-during-campaign-n729056

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    A golden Chernobyl in 3…2…1

    From today’s NYT In recent days, the president has appeared increasingly angry about leaks of information that he believes are coming from law enforcement and intelligence officials who are holdovers or recently departed from Mr. Obama’s administration.

    People close to Mr. Trump have described him as determined to stop those people from sabotaging his administration. Across the government, efforts are underway to find and punish officials who are leaking information to the news media.

    Mr. Trump’s mood was said to be explosive before he departed for his weekend in Florida, with an episode in which he vented at his staff. The president’s ire was trained in particular on Donald F. McGahn, his White House counsel, according to two people briefed on the matter.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/04/us/politics/trump-obama-tap-phones.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=a-lede-package-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He’s losing his shit bigly

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Thoughts and prayers, Donnie. Thoughts and prayers.

    • Shoto

      Surreal orange lunatic comedy. Now with extra-special nuclear codes for your dining and dancing pleasure.

    • BadKitty904

      So, they begin to eat themselves…

      • HooverVilles

        Please please please!

      • HandsOfFate

        Now I know why Christie didn’t get a cabinet position.

    • gene108

      I a man tired of all the winning, Donald. I think Hillary should have a turn

    • Mehmeisterjr

      People close to Mr. Trump have described him as determined to stop those people from sabotaging his administration.

      Is he determined to stop himself from sabotaging his administration?

  • mfp

    oh yeah…this is gonna be good…honey?….we’re gonna need a bigger boatload o popcorn

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    https://youtu.be/lP5Xv7QqXiM

    I’m hiding in Honduras – I’m a desperate man
    Send lawyers, guns, and money
    The shit has hit the fan

    Send lawyers, guns, and money…

  • azeyote

    this continuous assault on sanity never takes a day off – ever –

  • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

    No matter how much fun it is to watch the Trumpster fire – and boy howdy, is it fun! – we need to keep an eye on the House and Senate who are busy looting the place while we’re distracted. By the time the press thinks to check back on those ass monkeys, there will be nothing left of the US but smoke and cinders.

  • Jamoche

    So Donnie wants more Navy ships – because of course we have to have as many ships as we did in WWI – but is cutting $1B from the Coast Guard http://www.sfgate.com/technology/businessinsider/article/Trump-s-cutting-1-billion-from-the-Coast-Guard-10975671.php

    But don’t they stop the kind of things he wants a wall for? Yes they do. So what else do they do?

    In addition to its operations targeting drug smugglers and human traffickers, the Coast Guard has been in and out of the Arctic region with its ice-breaking ships, especially as Russia attempts to claim parts of the region, and its rich resources, for itself.

    Oh.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      good Lord he’s an idjit, as are all the mouth breathers who voted for him

    • javadavis

      Also, too, I suspect allegedly that military funding is a really good way to hide a slush fund. Why else (really) have the biggest military budget anywhere in the world?

      • Shoto

        $100’s of Billions have been swallowed into the Pentagon black hole over the years. Paging Ike…

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          $600 toilet seats? I’m sure!

      • Jamoche

        That and tossing lucrative military contracts to all his cronies.

    • Shoto

      You get a battleship, and you get a battleship, and you get a battleship…

    • Crank Tango

      We can just build a wall on the ocean.

    • Rick Hill

      Just how many layers are there in trump’s bending over for Putin?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        19% of Rosneft worth of layers. That many layers. That is what it is looking like, is it not?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      This see,some a good time to share my latest email from the White house.

      “On Thursday, President Donald J. Trump visited our Nation’s newest aircraft carrier, the soon-to-be commissioned U.S.S. Gerald R. Ford. These carriers are the centerpiece of American military might, and this beautiful new warship represents the future of naval aviation that will serve as a cornerstone of our national defense for decades to come.

      A famous aviator once wrote that to build a truly great ship, we shouldn’t begin by gathering wood, cutting boards, or distributing work, but instead by awakening within the people a “desire for the vast and endless sea.”

      In the same way, just as President Trump outlined in his Joint Address on Tuesday, we must continue to renew the American spirit within ourselves in order to rebuild our country.”

      Urrrggghhh.

    • BadKitty904
    • tinker12

      The USCG saves lives, also too. Many of them.

      • Jamoche

        Saving a life doesn’t get you record-length applause in front of Congress.

  • bookish
  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    Haha, I am 10 years older than Alex Jones and look younger and prettier!

    • gene108

      I am about the same age as Alex Jones, will be 43 this summer, and I hope I look better than he does.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Dog’s butt holes look better than Alex Jones!

      • tinker12

        My husband is 30 years older than Alex Jones and looks 10x better.

    • OrG

      Congrats, but it IS a low bar.

      • snark-lurker

        hey that snot nice to our ladees here

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You. Are. Not. No way. I’ve met you IRL, and I thought you are much younger than you are. Do unicorns have different lifespans?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        They’re immortal, plus they have access to magic face creams, I would imagine.

        • Kiri the Paid Protestor

          No no, we’re not immortal, just mythical.

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        We age well. Like fine wine and good cheese.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          *hugs* You know how I feel about wine and cheese.

          • Kiri the Paid Protestor

            *purrs*

    • harryr

      Ugly on the inside, shows as ugly on the outside.

    • BadKitty904

      “Being evil” is bad for the complexion.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      I hope I look as good as he does when I am his age. Wait…he isn’t in his late 50’s, he is 43, so am I.

  • bookish

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/immigration-courts-record-number-cases-many-problems-143116611.html

    Trump’s recent executive orders and subsequent memos from Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly have focused on hiring more enforcement agents to find and detain people in the country illegally, but the administration has been largely silent on beefing up immigration courts.

    The system includes 58 courts in 27 states. Their job is to decide whether noncitizens charged with violating immigration laws should be allowed to stay in the U.S. Immigration judges work for the Justice Department’s Executive Office for Immigration Review, not the judicial branch.

    People appearing in immigration court are generally considered to have the right to an attorney, but the court isn’t required to provide one for free as in criminal cases. Rulings can be appealed to the Board of Immigration Appeals, and board decisions can be appealed to a federal appeals court.

    Of 374 authorized immigration judge positions, 301 are filled. Fifty more candidates are in various stages of the hiring process, which typically takes about a year, said Kathryn Mattingly, a spokeswoman for the Executive Office for Immigration Review.

    • LucindathePook

      Fortunately we are just shoving them back onto planes and throwing them back over the border with none of this due process nonsense. No judges needed.

  • Sheepshagger
    • Crank Tango

      Tony Montana is a saint compared to Chump. At least his downfall was because of not wanting to kill innocent kids.

      Lol not to take this stuff too seriously!
      https://media1.giphy.com/media/xT77XKlezDkZXq7a2k/giphy.gif

      • Sheepshagger

        And he sold something people actually wanted!

        • Crank Tango

          Hell yeah he did.

      • BadKitty904

        Ladies and gentlemen, the June Caucasian Dancers!

    • PorridgeGun

      That’s what it’s felt like these last two weeks watching this dollar-store Nixon wannabe dictator. We’re past the good times “Push it to the limit” montage… https://youtu.be/vT8OU5WtfkQ

  • BadKitty904
  • memzilla Ω

    I have to say, Editrix, this is the tick-tockiest tick-tock that ever tocked a tick today.

  • Treg Brown
    • BadKitty904

      *waves paw*

      • Treg Brown
      • Treg Brown

        Hope you and the Mr are having an awesome Saturday.
        Brunch tomorrow?

        • BadKitty904

          Very busy Saturday – chores, shopping, etc. – so we can goof off tomorrow. And yup, brunch with our buds at a local Cuban joint. Come join us for mojitos!

          And how are you coming along, big guy? All betters?

          • Treg Brown

            All better. Spent the day reading and snuck a little time in with my dog Rosie, so she’s much happier. Tonight I’m making soup that should last a few days, and maybe, just maybe can head out with friends after I finish reading.

            Would love joining you for mojitos and meeting the cats :- )

          • BadKitty904

            Atta boy! Glad to hear you’re feeling back in synch. And even happier to hear you got to spend the day reading – which is weirdly hard to do once you’re a grown-up. It happens to be one of my all-time fave ways to spend a day off!

            This is the first I’ve heard of your lil’ canine companion – good deal! May I ask what kind of dog she might be? Her name is auspicious, too, as my beau also has a much-loved “Rosie” – his boat, The Rose of Baracoa. Joaquin crazy-loves sailing, has been an avid sailor all his life, and the Rosie is darling.

          • Treg Brown

            Rosie is a rescue mix/small red pony. She was found waiting patiently at a school after some kids had amputated one of her ears. She was fostered for about 3 weeks while she healed and a friend of mine told me about her, and when I went to meet her, I knew she was for me. She had some initial challenges with anxiety, but I have a friend who works with abused animals and she helped Rosie calm down, and me to learn the importance of helping her understand her place in our little pack.

            My not-bio-mom named her Rosie because of her “rosie” disposition after her abusive experiences. She’s a keeper and only about 15 months old so we have lots of time for many adventures. Here’s a pic of her the day I picked her up. Also too, she loves raw carrots same as me.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f4857cae81436d9d66fc2b92935540560bf64811d1beb58372c26002b674c16.jpg

          • BadKitty904

            (Dammit, now I’ve got something in my eye…)

            That is one beautiful, happy pupdog, sport. She obviously takes after her Dad. :0)

          • Treg Brown

            She keeps me grounded, and just having her around de-stresses me so I hope I offer as much comfort to her as she does for me. We had breakfast at a local place this morning that has a dog menu for pups dining outside with their families. She loves people and my parents, and when I take her out, which is often, she has a great time.

            What did you have for brunch today?

          • BadKitty904

            That’s what family – biological or emotional, 2-legged or 4-legged – does. Good on her! I’m sure Rosie loved her brunch with Daddy this AM, seeing and smelling new things. She very much looks like she has an outgoing, loving disposition.

            It’s Lent, so the Big Cat and I aren’t eating meat. Since fish is permissible, I had scrambled eggs, deviled crab cakes, and tostones (fried plantain cakes). Plus a mojito, because their’s are REALLY good, but one is enough for me – a.) they’re BIG and b.) I generally leave hard liquor alone, as I have no head for it.

            What did y’all have?

          • Treg Brown

            Your brunch sounds great even though I’ve never had tostones (they sound good), and very cool that you observe Lent. My visiting aunt does as well as she asked me to take her to church Wednesday so she could observe the first day. I don’t think she’s as careful as you and BC are as she wants to have chicken enchiladas for dinner tonight, tho she had a shrimp omelette at breakfast.I had eggs and bacon with biscuits and gravy, just iced tea no mojito. Rosie had a hamburger patty, sweet potato and broccoli.

            Heading out to pick up my aunt from church. Hope I get a chance to see you later tonight. If not, have a great night BK

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab37a2b5408902c6e265ef86e9dc577213552252e780e425c13c72949fa03b2c.gif

          • BadKitty904

            Well, you’re familiar with plantains, yes? I just assumed y’all eat them in CA, being a Hispanic-based culture like us o’er here in the Land of Flowers. Kin to bananas, but less sweet and used, food-wise, in a way similar to potatoes. In the case of tostones, they’re mashed, mixed with garlic, onions, cracklings, etc., then made into lil’ pancakes and fried.

            The Lent thing is kinda odd. J and I were both raised in traditional (tho liberal) Catholic families. Being gay, we are not allowed to take the Sacraments and can’t be considered “practicing” Catholics, yet old customs/habits die hard. The matters of fasting and abstinence are somewhat flexible, but – generally speaking – one may not partake of “meat” during Lent, usually defined as beef or pork. “Fish” (a broad term in the Church) is permissible, so shrimp is no trubba. I’m not sure, without looking it up, where “foul” (i.e., chicken) falls.

            You seem to have a Thing for biscuits and gravy, sport – you must be part Southerner! Plus gravy makes your coat glossy (at least if you’re a dog), per my Granddad. Rosie must’ve been sleepy after her breakfast feast!

            It’s so sweet of you to take such good care of your Auntie, Trey. If she’s like most older folks, she just wants some company and a little attention. I’m so impressed by your being such a dutiful nephew – such a rare trait these days… :0)

          • BadKitty904

            And here’s a lil’ treat to round out your Sunday afternoon… ;0)~

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6285b6cb6217ebd69ba26544c9d8e5558fc329ec91354796ca416008281d2750.gif

          • Treg Brown

            Holy God!! :- )

          • BadKitty904

            See? Your day is already brighter and perkier!

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      *waves tentacle*

      • Treg Brown

        Hey! how’s it going?

    • snigsy

      My inner ten-year-old hugs you.

  • ViveLaPersistence
    • WomanInThePersistence

      All right thinking people love Betty White.

    • HooverVilles

      ^^^^THIS^^^^

  • bookish
  • Valkyrie

    Thanks for your take on Louise Mensch. I’ve been reading her this last few weeks and she strikes me as half-Katie Tur and half-completely bonkers-Orly Taitz.

    • rebecca

      I don’t know how to process her shit!!!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        She seems as if she’d be a really good choice for a patsy if someone wanted to feed a bad story into the mix and then discredit it along with the credibility of the people repeating it.

    • Scrofula

      So, is she a real Mensch or not?

  • NellCote71

    Unfortunately, comments are not allowed.

    • Rick Hill

      But some comments are more unallowed than others….

  • Lefty Wright

    Sorry, but Comey will never get a really nice fruit basket from me. Maybe a rotten fruit basket. Nothing will excuse his editorializing in his July speech, and absolutely nothing will excuse him from his October letter to congress, then sitting back for 9 days and refusing to clarify what he was talking about.

  • bookish

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-canada-border-idUSKBN16B0P1

    Canada will not tighten its border to deter migrants crossing illegally from the United States in the wake of a U.S. immigration crackdown because the numbers are not big enough to cause alarm, a government minister said on Saturday.

    Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale said the issue had not risen to a scale that required hindering the flow of goods and people moving across the world’s longest undefended border.

    Hundreds of people, mainly from Africa and the Middle East, have defied winter conditions and walked across the border, seeking asylum. They are fleeing President Donald Trump’s immigration crackdown, migrants and refugee agencies say.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Furthermore, they’ll be needed to make up for the hordes of “White Walkers” expected to vacate the Great White North this Winter.

  • Sheepshagger

    Who knew this year would be a Le Carre/Hiaasen mash up.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump counts as “Florida Man”, da?

    • Shucky Ducky

      Tinker, Tailor, Grifter, Gator

  • BadKitty904

    Trump at Miramar this weekend…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsohMAuykWY

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The whiz- the reason the brick road is yellow…

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    OT but I has made a Tweetie! And it was Retweetied! Several times! I’m a big girl now. Just like Donald Trump! I can has social media presence!

    • Scrofula

      I keep trying on my Jitterbug but only get LifeAlert telling me to stop calling.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and your tweeter is where?

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        In the part covered by a bathing suit. Grown ups can’t touch.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          can you show us on the doll?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s hard up on cash, just like The Monkeyman.

    • FDRliberal

      OT but I has made a Tweetie! And it was Retweetied! Several times!”

      I hear by hearby hereby congratulate you on your new social media presence. This is something you can totally tapp tap into.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I know how you feel. I even have a few followers, LOL. I am a force to be reckoned with.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Think im still following you.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          Cool. Tell me your handle and I’ll return the favor.

  • bookish
  • Reality Kills

    When Donnie starts tweeting about having communication with aliens, time for a visit to a shrink.

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      That time was long, long ago. Nothing to be done now but medication and management. And removal from all positions of responsibility.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      What is all of the above.

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        Coming in 3, 2, 1 . . .

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m totally stealing this!

    • snigsy

      He’ll use the phone-a-friend option and call President Bannon.

  • Rick Hill

    So…anyone think that there will be some people leaving the WH after this weekend? Start the great distancing, if you will

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Tomorrow’s @nytimes headline today:

    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/838131789180841984

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      SQUIRREL!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Hucklebee’s on it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Clinton and Putin,
      Sutton’ in a tree….
      Yeah. Right.

    • OrG

      Oh FFS!

    • BadKitty904
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      These kinds of Bannon social media distractions are now having diminishing returns. Even the wingnuts know Donnie Dumbass is in the Deep Shit

    • Rick Hill

      Well of course it is. Those evil Clintons!!!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Bugger my nuts, who could’ve seen that coming?

    • mailman27

      I find the Clintons’ money grasping a bit unseemly, but Bill’s big payday was 10 years after leaving office. And the Clintons don’t owe the Russians money to the extent Crooked Donald seems to. For all we know. ‘Cause no tax returns, which is the whole story.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Whatever you think of the Clintons, there are a lot of people who aren’t dead because of their foundations. They could just as easily have raked that money in for themselves.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      Trumpers like to accuse others of doing what trump is accused of doing, as though that absolves him of wrongdoing.

  • A_Changeling

    I’d humbly suggest that if you post links, can you include the headline or a word or two about the story? My computer is old and stupid and it’s struggling with Disqus, and if I open too many tabs it tilts, but I don’t want to miss anything.

    • snark-lurker

      mee too but my givashit factor is almost dead

      • Juan de Fuca

        The Trump Effect?

        • snark-lurker

          i donut know all out of sumthing needed for…sumthing

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I concur. Please folks, a little heads’ up?!

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I agree. It would be helpful.

    • Jamoche

      +1 And Disqus is inconsistent about when it shows an escaped URL and when it’s unmangled – I never click anything I haven’t seen the rollover text for.

    • mancityRed6

      I always try to.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah I don’t click on links with no explanation or at least some pretty pictures.

  • AndyC316

    So what’s the over/under on having special elections once this Russian fever dream is deposed?

    • TJ Barke

      Do you have an infinite improbability drive?

    • Scrofula

      Congress has to appoint someone, like Gerald Ford.
      They could vote for Ted fucking Cruz, for chrissakes.

      • BadKitty904

        Yet another reason why the Republican Congress is the REAL danger.

        • Scrofula

          They’re also the ONLY ones who can take him down.

          • BadKitty904

            And will ONLY do so if it means saving their own jobs.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        It’s a case of “we’re screwed either way.”

        • DuchessD’Orleans

          All the Dems have to do in 2018 is play video clips of GOP reps insisting, straight-faced that the Orange One should be made POTUS.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      This is what I want in my fantasy dreams. There is no way we can trust Pence or any other GOP politician that has supported Trumpkins through this. Even if both Trump and Pence go down, we’d have to deal with a President Ryan, which is no better.

      • AndyC316

        But if it’s true that Russia influenced the election and colluded with Trump, then the election wasn’t valid in the first place. Would the line of succession still be valid at that point?

        • mancityRed6

          I just don’t see the election invalidated. By the time they proved voter fraud, it would be in time for the ’20 elections.

          • AndyC316

            I’m not saying voter fraud — I’m saying that the election was influenced by a foreign power and is therefore invalid.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, still not going to happen. even as much as I’d like it to.
            and we really can’t do a do over at this time. maybe some of his previous supporters that realize how dumb they were, but the only thing you can bet on is that people are going to be stupid.

        • shivaskeeper

          The short answer is yes. The EC voted him in. If he dropped out before the inauguration it would have gone to Pence.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          That’s a very good question. Probably valid for the Speaker to take over, but maybe not Pence.

          ETA: Actually, I take that back. I don’t even think Ryan would be valid. I agree with you that it’s hard to see how the line of succession would be valid in this special case.

      • mancityRed6

        with the reluctance that he assumed the speaker position (even though everyone knew he wanted it and the pay rise that would come with it), and the way he has wielded the gavel, I’d take a president Ryan. He’d be ever so much easier to quash.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      We will get Pence and Ryan, and pray to Cthulhu that all the Indivisibles hang around and keep it up. That’s when the REAL work will begin.

    • shivaskeeper

      No special election. It would fall to the next in order of succession by law. Currently that’s Pence then Ryan and so on. The question will be of DJT does go down who will he take with him. Right now Pence seems to be completely in the background so he’s probably angling for the “I didn’t know about anything” defense.

    • A_Changeling

      It’s so strange that you don’t have a mechanism for this. If it were any other country I’d expect a re-election.
      This is blasphemy, but does it ever occur to you that you should, you know, change the constitution where it’s obsolete? Like other countries do, I assume (not that I’m an expert, but we did it a while ago).

      Edit: What if the international community starts demanding a re-election?

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        We don’t want to open that can of worms here. Unintended consequences, you know.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I, for one, would welcome UN intervention.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I’m not a huge fan of the MSM but am getting a kick out of the fact that most every story covering Trump during the past month or so, begins with “Trump says” and ends with “offering no proof.”

    You could almost make a drinking game out of it.

    • Nick Scroggs

      You can’t though, since otherwise we’d all be dead of alcohol poisoning by last week.

      • TJ Barke

        Beats Trump’s America.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Restricted to Michelob 64, otherwise we will be bloated winks by Saturday.

    • Panika MCD

      almost?

    • Panika MCD

      it’s like you’re saying we could *almost* be pantsless! have you no shame?!

      • Juan de Fuca

        You’re right! Using “most” instead of “almost”, almost made my comment logically nonsensical. I have corrected it, mostly! ;-)

        #itsablog

        • Panika MCD

          it was more of an “it’s like you don’t even know us anymore!” comment. and caps aren’t necessary unless you’re using a proper noun.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Panika, in what education system did you learn that caps are only…nevermind. Love ya lady. Heading outside to do some yardwork while it’s still gorgeous out.

          • Panika MCD

            graduate school. for writing. Sarah Lawrence. it’s an old printing standard. it’s not that you can’t use that standard, it’s thay I don’t–and I’m consistant about it. don’t know how this is the first time you noticed. love ya back.

  • 333tenant

    This is a great survey. The details are so fucking nuts. And there are so many fucking-nutty details. I really cannot believe this is reality now.

    • Nick Scroggs

      From Philip K DIck: I think that, like in my writing, reality is always a soap bubble, Silly Putty thing anyway.
      In the universe people are in, people put their hands through the
      walls, and it turns out they’re living in another century entirely. … I
      often have the feeling — and it does show up in my books — that this is
      all just a stage.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Another Philip K Dick quote or two:

      The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation
      of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the
      people who must use the words.
      Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Dude has finally popped his cork……………

    • FDRliberal

      “Dude has finally popped his cork……………”

      Someone needs to put Trump into a padded cell at this point. Time to roll out the ol’ 25th Amendment thingy.

      • mancityRed6

        I’ve heard there’s a show in need of a host. something something apprentice maybe?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Celebrity Cellmate?

          • mancityRed6

            “shot on location, in Colorado’s supermax…”

      • Panika MCD

        just put a war movie on TV, pretend it’s real and then tell him the cell is a safe room.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, but that KFC budget is gonna be big for the next few months.

          • Panika MCD

            is it $3M every weekend?

          • mancityRed6

            no, just a bucket until he has pains in his chest.

          • Panika MCD

            sounds like a steal!

      • Ricky Gay

        He soon will be loop-watching Ice Station Zebra in the nude.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Flipped his lid….
      https://youtu.be/hnzHtm1jhL4

      • A Bashful Nobody

        And yes I do remember listening to this song on the radio!

  • Sardonicuss

    “Obama’s former foreign policy advisor, Ben Rhodes, was willing to go on the record and tweeted at Trump, “No President can order a wiretap. Those restrictions were put in place to protect citizens from people like you.””

    I know it has probably been posted before but….
    This may be the coolest tweet since “Delete your account”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Which, if he were smart (he’s not) he would do (deleting his account). Because Donald really is his own worst enemy. It’s like he’s being interrogated by Natasha Romanoff and spilling all the beans, but Natasha is in Cairo and he’s in Mar-A-Lago.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Extra credit for the Black Widow reference! You’re a geek after my own heart!

      • NWPaul

        I read that correctly and still had to read the reply before I stopped seeing Natasha Badinov in my head, demanding access to moose and sqvirl

    • Panika MCD

      why stop with the account? it would be better for him for figuratively delete himself than to become useless–or even a threat–to Putin who will have him more literally deleted.

  • mancityRed6

    Has this been said yet? Sorry, haven’t kept up on my C&L.
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/03/russian-oligarchs-plane-shadowed-donald
    “A jetliner belonging to the Russian oligarch who had previously bought a Florida mansion from Donald Trump shadowed the candidate’s plane to at least four US cities – three during the campaign and one since the inauguration.”

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Rachael hit that last night. Small Trump world, ain’t it!

    • BadKitty904

      “Protecting his investment”?

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        hihi

        • BadKitty904

          Yo!

    • Sardonicuss

      You know, the story of that real estate deal, that naked money laundering scheme came out in what ..June?
      How has that not destroyed him by now?

      • mancityRed6

        but her emails

        • Sardonicuss

          The thing was, he just blurted it out in an interview when asked: “Yeah, that deal worked out really well for us”!
          He buys a piece of property, sits on it for a while and sells it to an Russian oligarch who has never seen it for a $60 million profit?!
          The guy never looks at it, has it torn down and builds another property on it.
          It was so obviously a Russian buyout of Trump….but it never got any traction in the media at all.
          Future historians will scratch holes in their heads wondering about it.

          • mancityRed6

            If it’s the story I’m thinking of, it was a way to keep some money from being on the books for a divorce settlement.

          • Sardonicuss

            A divorce settlement for the oligarch..nor for Trump. An oligarch who runs a bank in Cypress that is basically Putin’s place to launder…money.

          • mancityRed6

            and tRump’s, but that will come out later

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        All the other stuff that keeps coming out daily?

        • Sardonicuss

          …but it was during the campaign…last summer? It was literally the first tie of him to the Russians.
          It was such an obvious pay off. Just astounding.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Because “Bernie was cheated by a Wall Street shill”

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      DC Report about a week ago and Rachel last night or two. Yes, it is a thing.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Probably with suitcases full of fresh, handy cash.

      • mancityRed6

        or whatever was making him sniff during the debates
        or hookers with full bladders
        really, you could speculate a lot of things

      • A_Changeling

        “Shadowing” makes me think it was a reminder.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    This is, what, the fifth time they’ve said this? Believe it when I see it…

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/838136335403741184

  • FDRliberal

    I liked Obama’s reply to the Child Emperor’s latest Breitbart “News” regurgitation. It was basically – “No we, unlike the current so-called president, don’t interfere with independent Dept of Justice investigations.”

    https://twitter.com/KLewis44/status/838087878089535491/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They had the Russians under surveillance, and guess who was on the other end of the line! The original concern might have been that the Trump campaign was being duped.
      It wasn’t illegal for them to speak with Russians, but in Putin World “speak with highly placed Russians=speaking with Putin”

    • Juan de Fuca

      And somewhere a Trump supporter with a Twitter account is reading that while laughing to himself, “LoL. Unquivially isn’t even a word, you librul dumbass.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Moran!

      • Jack Tenhet

        Sad because it’s true. I’d put even money on at least ten tweets right now from Cult 45 members saying JUST that while at the same time heaping praise on Julian Assange.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    As someone no doubt has pointed out, all this shit can happen with no one in the White House knowing about it.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • Sandy Beaches

      Holy Shit. That is literally one of the most jaw dropping tweets I have ever read.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Sr. Fox has been calling it since before the election. Not pulling any punches either.

  • veska

    Rep. Ted Lieu of California: “Mr. President: If there was a wiretap at Trump Tower, that means a fed judge found probable cause of crime which means you are in deep shit”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/youre-in-deep-sht-lawmaker-alerts-trump-if-phones-were-tapped-a-judge-found-probable-cause-of-crime/

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • A_Changeling

      I thought of this too.

    • boyblue123

      landlines lol

      • Serai 1

        Don’t knock landlines. That’s what I have. There’s something to be said for a phone that doesn’t rely on an electrical outlet.

        • Roni Resistance Raven

          Why not both?

          • Serai 1

            Because I’m not in the slightest bit interested in carrying around a device that records every move I make and passes it on to be sold or hacked, thanks. Convenience is only worth so much.

        • h4rr4r

          They have wireless phones now. Even when the pole outside my house was down it worked!

    • BadKitty904

      Um, I think that’s illegal.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        That thing where the rich are different from you and me? They really like that thing in Florida.

    • calliecallie

      Karma is a bitch, Donnie.

    • snigsy

      Hello paranoia!

  • Nick Scroggs

    A quote from Philip K. Dick, that I figure sounds like it explains part of Trump and the world:

    The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation
    of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the
    people who must use the words.

  • Yr. Gma

    Remember how long ago when Donnie read some sentences from a teleprompter and the airheads were all “Pivot! Presidential!”? Was that last week? Well, that didn’t last long (as the rest of us knew it wouldn’t.)

    • mancityRed6

      yeah, imma give Van Jones a big heaping bowl full of side eye if I ever see him

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Jack Tenhet

      On Tuesday night, I said wait a few days. We all did. Tired of being right.

      • snigsy

        I said, wait a few hours. I overestimated him.

    • Jennifer R

      Tuesday was a life time ago.

  • Jamoche

    Srsly?
    https://twitter.com/stephenrodrick/status/838115872837353472
    Dear Canada. We’re really, really sorry.

    • Scrofula

      Without even a maple leaf? With the US flag?
      I’d think even Canadian Cons would kick your ass for that.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        These people are not your brightest stars in the sky, you know.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It doesn’t seem like very good economic nationalism to ask people to financially support foreign racists.

    • mancityRed6

      it’s not in French, too.
      ill eagle

    • jaspersdad
      • Jack Tenhet

        “Make racists afraid again”. I like that one.

    • h4rr4r

      Le Pen is French, the Quebecois like the French…….

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        It’s NOT mutual.

    • snigsy

      Sadly, idiocy is a universal disease.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Worth noting that yes, Canadian deplorables (we really do have some) are far more likely to be showing a US or Confederate flag than the Maple Leaf. It makes them easier to spot and ignore.
      There’s an actual Thing up here where people have claimed that replacing the complex and derivative Red Ensign (https://tce-live2.s3.amazonaws.com/media/media/c42c2cca-c726-4c71-abf7-1afae42f98a2.png) back in 1965 was ‘illegal.’ I think the claim is about 50% white supremacy and 50% that it was the Liberals who changed it.

  • Hutch

    Despite the source, this is a funny gif!
    https://twitter.com/sirvitup/status/838127191779061760

    • mancityRed6

      he can’t be a real conservative if he’s making fun of Spicer and tRump

      • h4rr4r

        That is actually what the real conservatives all over are doing. The GOP has not been a conservative party for decades.

        • mancityRed6

          even for all their dirty tricks and rat fuckery, I could at least have a modicum of respect for the Republicans in the ’80’s.
          but then, ’92 happened and all deals were off.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    From now on, I promise to let people know what my links are.

    Rachel Maddow reports on Trump and the Russian Fertilizer King.
    https://youtu.be/LnfeSitSbRA

    • BadKitty904

      Well, if anyone in America knows ALL about “fertilizer”…

    • h4rr4r

      Fertilizer is a nice way of saying bovine excrement, right?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Yes. And he really IS the Fertilizer King.

  • snigsy

    Here’s something I still can’t understand. Were Trump & co

    a) so fucking stupid they believed none of this would come to light?

    b) or, were they just stupendously arrogant?

    c) or, did their raging greed blind them to their stupidity and arrogance?

    • mancityRed6

      yes

    • veska

      AOT,K

    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

      Presidenting different from realestating, innit.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Yes.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      (d) Trump needed to do what Putin told him, or sleep with the Beluga roe, and Putin “assured” him no one would ever find out because he “controlled” everything.
      (e)Now that Trump is getting out of line and is even crazier than he thought, he’s putting a stop to it with more skillfully planted leaks?

      • shivaskeeper

        Trump was never supposed to be a puppet. All Putin wants is a weakened indecisive US to not interfere with his plans.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      My guess is that he truly did not count on winning so much and was using his run to impress his Russkie investors of his value.

    • Alt-dog

      d) correct in assuming they would get away with it?

      I’m sorry to say this cannot be ruled out at this point in time.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think they figured when Hillary won they could just use the damage they inflicted during the election and whatever that little fucker Chaffetz had lined up to stall her jets enough that she wouldn’t be able to call for an investigation.

    • Panika MCD

      AOT, K.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Bannon == A & B.
      Donnie Dumpsterfire & Jared == C

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      They did not expect to win; HRC probably would not have wanted to proceed as “optics” (and considering the general GOP hysteria, probably would have been right to do so). So if they skated, the old fool could still get $$ from the ever-more-aggrieved rubes, and the others could continue to work against the gov’t. Sweet spot. But he won, and the stink remained and now does not look as though it will ever go away. Short of his removal from office, together with the rest of his cronies. If that means a President Pence or Ryan, I will have to accept it as the price of removing a dangerous incompetent from an office he is in no way fit to hold.

      • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

        Of course, we have no idea who knew what and when. Was Pence involved? The whole administration seems to be complicit, and we know that McConnell and Ryan knew about some of this shit back in October. How much of the GOP is involved?

    • shivaskeeper

      Yes, yes, and yes. They are not used to operating in the spotlight. Shady deals don’t survive in the light. Plus they don’t understand the digital age and how hard it is to make data go away or how fast it can be found and used again then.

    • A_Changeling

      In the beginning they probably didn’t expect they could win and counted on all this being forgotten after the election?

    • LucindathePook

      Also (maybe) as they have no idea how government works, they figured they would run everything, there was no independent investigative organ they wouldn’t control. It’s like running a business, and everything stays internal.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Did we ever find out Donnie Dumbass’ actual secret service code name?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Typhoon, as in “a big bag of wind”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, we did, and it’s awesome. It’s “Mogul,” after the longest-surviving muslim empire. There is some question if he realizes this.

      • Hutch

        “Mogul” and pronounced “asshat.”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Sort of like “Raymond luxury yacht”?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-Ftang-Ftang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            Eki-eki-eki-eki-pecan-ruuupboing!!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Something something mangrove warbler Ni!

          • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

            Throat Warbler Mangrove.

      • BadKitty904

        You’re sure it’s not “Nazgûl“?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nah. He wishes. The leading figures of Uruk-hai nationalism are generally uppity orcs.

          • BadKitty904

            So, Trump’s KKKabinet, then?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It’s generally pretty important to me to feel that wherever he is, Woodrow Wilson deeply disapproves of the current state of affairs. I do not currently feel that.

      • Panika MCD

        wondering what the rest are. the code names for all first family members always start with the same letter.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Melon, Muttonhead, and Moran?

          • Panika MCD

            Methuselah, Mothra, Moon Child

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          Melania=Muse, Ivanka=Marvel, Donald Jr.=Mountaineer, Eric=Marksman.
          http://www.mynbc5.com/article/here-are-the-trump-familys-secret-service-code-names/8638346

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Larry, Moe, and Curly would be….?
            Bannon, Priebus, and Miller?

          • Crank Tango

            LOL @ Mountineer and Marksman.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            Never were two dweebs so misnamed. Mangler and Maimer would be more fitting.

          • Crank Tango

            Panty and Sniffer.

      • Jennifer R

        Or a little bump in the road!

      • Crank Tango

        Ironically, he’s having a rough ride…
        https://media.giphy.com/media/1oJYLaD3NJraw/giphy.gif

  • redarmyzombie

    “And his entire cabinet, with the possible exception of Ben Carson, has bizarre ties to Russian banks…”

    So what you’re saying is, Ben Carson’s only saving grace is the fact that he doesn’t appear to be colluding with the Russian mafia?

    That’s a *very* low bar, indeed…

    • Hutch

      He slept through the initial briefing.

      • BadKitty904

        Jinx? I think?

    • Rick Hill

      About as low as the bar for qualifying to be in the trump administration

    • BadKitty904

      And only because he couldn’t stay awake long enough, probably…

    • Panika MCD

      also too that he’s far too sedated to actually stab anyone.

    • Ricky Gay

      You want to compromise that fellow over there.

    • Alt-dog

      The soft bigotry of low expectations.

    • mailman27

      He slept through the meetings.

  • Nick Scroggs

    And now for a few more out of context Philip K Dick quotes, since why not?:
    Because today we live in a society in which spurious realities are
    manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by
    religious groups, political groups…So I ask, in my writing, What is
    real? Because unceasingly we are bombarded with pseudo-realities
    manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated
    electronic mechanisms. I do not distrust their motives; I distrust their
    power. They have a lot of it. And it is an astonishing power: that of
    creating whole universes, universes of the mind. I ought to know. I do
    the same thing.

    This, to me, is the ultimately heroic trait of ordinary people; they
    say no to the tyrant and they calmly take the consequences of this
    resistance.

    Fear,
    …can make you do more wrong than hate or jealousy. If you’re afraid
    you don’t commit yourself to life completely; fear makes you always,
    always hold something back.

  • Scrofula

    So clearly there’s some unfolding deep-shit ties to Russians going on and all, but in the meantime there’s still quid pro quo Chinese issues. Grant a trademark, get One China Policy asserted. Just that, that alone, violates the fucking Constitution. Just that, should get him removed from office.

  • How is this reality?

    • BadKitty904

      Scholars will debate that question for generations to come.

      • I couldn’t get a novel published with this plot. Too much unbelievable, and too many characters are basically just evil caricatures instead of people with depth. And yet, here we are.

        • snark-lurker

          it boggles even after being boggled beyond inmagination

        • Pierre_de_Fermat
        • BadKitty904

          Evil caricatures” pretty much sums up the entire Republican elite.

      • Panika MCD

        *if we survive.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Refer to the quotes I posted lower in the comments.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s not. We’ve all stumbled somehow into an alternate universe.

    • It all began when we bought the outlandish notion of “reality” TV.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    Thank you, Wonkette. This is one of the most thorough, cogent stories about everything that’s going on, far more detailed and thoughtful and accurate than any of the so-called “news media.” Brilliant. Extremely impressive. And horrifying. It seems to be exactly as bad as we ALL thought, and even WORSE, so much worse.
    And here was Stephen King’s response to Trump’s tweets: https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/838111226211233793

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “AND HE’S RUNNING WITH THEM!”

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Damn that Obama! Always doing crazy, dangerous shit in the White House!

      • DahBoner

        While playing 11th dimensional chess, texting Michelle and going in for a layup.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The bestest thing I’ve seen all day. Copied and faceplanted.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In between errands, but I wanted to post this on-topic tweet:

    https://twitter.com/amjoyshow/status/838045377303457792

    • BadKitty904

      Well, given Trump’s/the Republican’s astounding penchant for projection…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      it is indeed possible that he knows there is another shoe about to drop, in the form of transcripts or other evidence, and this is his way of preemptively muddying the waters about what the issue is

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Who will throw the first shoe at the next presser?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          AOTK, I hope.

        • Panika MCD

          Jake Tapper.

          • mailman27

            Hopefully it’ll tapp his head.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Can we hire Nolan Ryan?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Randy Johnson or GTFO

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Off my lawn, whippersnapper!

          • Alt-dog

            If only Satchel Paige were still around.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Maybe. I think it’s because he doesn’t have a clue about how any of this works, and neither do Kushner or Bannon. He thinks he’s in a reality teevee show called “Celebrity President”.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I’m betting he knows what the next leak will be and he’s desperate to make it go away

      • Sardonicuss

        There are already enough shoe’s for your average heptapod.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        I am thinking there is another shoe, maybe more than one and the real issue is what happens then? Muddying the waters won’t be enough if actual “evidence” appears.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          He’s hoping his dumber than dirt base will fall for the same obvious misdirection that he used with the Schumer “see, he met the ambassador too!” BS

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s like somebody asked him when he stopped beating his wife and he answered, “Tuesday”.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      A *lot* of interesting tweets today. Both left and right. Evan McMullin tweeted
      Trump appears to be corroborating press reports that a U.S. court approved phone taps in response to his and his campaign’s ties to Russia.
      //twitter.com/Evan_McMullin/status/838037253331030016

      A lot of attention is being paid to this crazy set of tweets.

      also

      Trump likely feels mounting pressure from further revelations of Russia ties and is preparing his core base to dismiss evidence as fake.
      —–
      Remember when U.S. presidents were the leaders of the free world? Now authoritarians take cues from our president, who takes his from Putin.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Trump likely feels mounting pressure from further revelations of Russia ties and is preparing his core base to dismiss evidence as fake.

        ^^^^
        THIS

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Planning a ‘popular uprising’ and coup to keep himself in power?

    • OrG

      Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    It wasn’t a wiretap. It was a Baby Monitor.*

    *Shamelessly stolen from RawStory.

    • Alt-dog

      Definitely worth stealing and spreading.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      if any evidence emerges that McGahn tried to interfere with an ongoing investigation, shit will hit the fan bigly…

    • BadKitty904

      Trump Claims He’s Rubber, Obama Is Glue

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Sorry Donnie Dumbass, but the orders of the FISA court are sealed.

      Because of the sensitive nature of its business, the court is a “secret court” – its hearings are closed to the public. While records of the proceedings are kept, they also are unavailable to the public, although copies of some records with classified information redacted have been made public.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Foreign_Intelligence_Surveillance_Court#Secrecy

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Now let’s not jump to any conclusions; because we pride ourselves on being good, reality-based citizens, we should not fall prey to confirmation bias. Let’s just patiently wait for things to pan out while the Republicans rape our environment, take away our healthcare, persecute minorities, eliminate voting rights and make America a global laughing stock.

    Oh, fuck it. In the words of Inspector Kemp: “A riot is an ugly thing, and I think that it’s just about time that we had one.”

  • Me not sure

    Well…it looks like the trip to Mar-A-Lago this weekend will push Trump’s travel spending for the first month in office past Obama’s for the first year. Thank God he doesn’t pay income tax. He would be outraged if any of his own money had to be used to pay for this shit.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      The Grift That Keeps on Giving!®

      • Me not sure

        Winning!

    • h4rr4r

      What percentage of those tax dollars end up in his pockets?

      • Me not sure

        He probably charges the taxpayers for the cost of his suite there, as well as meals and incidentals.

        • h4rr4r

          I would assume for all the suites used, and at the worst possible rates.

          It would not surprise me if he purposely waited to book rooms until the night before to jack up the rate.

          • Me not sure

            From what I hear, the Secret service alone can run up quite a tab.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I continue to be flummoxed that this number of trips, even working trips would be allowed. I just don’t understand that he can’t be told “no, it costs too much, work in DC or at Camp David.”

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Well he already said he hates Camp David, finding it “too rustic” and the kind of place where he would be bored after just 30 minutes.

      • Me not sure

        There must be a limit to the funds budgeted for this stuff.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Maybe they’ve found a new use for the Black Budget.

          • Me not sure

            Who needs spy satellites anyway.

      • snigsy

        Silly you, he can’t be told anything.

  • Mel

    There is so much here to think about, but I hit my head earlier and may have a mild concussion, so all I keep thinking about is if there will ever be a time when all roads don’t somehow lead to Anthony Weiner’s dick.

    • Panika MCD

      this may be a road to a replica, though.

      • Mel

        Speaking as a part-time purveyor of “bedroom accessories,” I bet I could move a replica of Anthony Weiner’s junk. To a very specific demographic.

        • Crank Tango

          The butt?

    • A_Changeling

      Where did you get that head? I might need a new one if this one explodes.

      (Not to make fun of your possible concussion, couldn’t resist.)

      • Sardonicuss

        Maybe bj’s just leave him really unfocused?

        • Mel

          Who, him? Me, him? Cause I’m not him, so it wasn’t that kind of head.

          • Sardonicuss

            Well, it says “him” right there..so???

      • Mel

        WalMart. It was on clearance, so can’t return it, even though it is clearly not functioning properly.

        • A_Changeling

          No problem, I’m used to non-functioning ones.

  • Treg Brown
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    BREAKING! Secret Video from This Morning’s WH Staff Meeting!

    https://youtu.be/1tfK_3XK4CI?t=1m10s

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’ve had Wire Tappist Beer. It’s from Belgium, right?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      tastes like waffles

      • yyyaz

        Barley waffles, mmmmmm.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        with a hint of flem.

    • BadKitty904

      Oui.

      ~ H. Poirot

      • msanthropesmr

        Wasn’t Poroit French?

        • BadKitty904

          No-no-no-no, I am not some French gent. I am some Belgian gent.

          ~ H. Poirot

          • msanthropesmr

            Huh – I coulda sworn that Arthur Conan DOyle wrote him as French.

          • Crank Tango

            You’re thinking of Tintin. But he’s also Belgian.

          • BadKitty904

            I thought Arthur Conan Doyle was Jewish.

          • mailman27

            That was Sir Arthur Conan Mohl.

          • msanthropesmr

            Didn’t Serge Gainsburg write the Tintin books?

          • Crank Tango

            Possibly. He did a great duet with Whitney tho.
            https://media.giphy.com/media/l0Iy61PQe1eqvsVSU/giphy.gif

    • That’s the one made by Tappist Monks, right?

  • magyar of infinite power

    Paranoid Motherfucking Schizophrenia. Full psychotic state. Any hospital in the country (cough, cough – Bethesda NRMC) would put him on a 24 – 48 hour hold.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      72 hr in NC

    • thewalkindude

      Trump has PMS?

      • magyar of infinite power

        Well played…

  • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

    For what it’s worth, I first got the Russian fertilizer king who likes to drop into Concord, North Carolina story about a week ago from DC Report, you can get an email sub.
    https://www.dcreport.org/

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Donnie apparently freaked out on his top aides over their ineptitude handling the Sessions mess. Pot/kettle?

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/trump-blasted-top-aides-over-sessions-recusal-in-friday-white-house-meltdown-report/?comments=disqus

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    In the ongoing FUBARness of Trump’s ICE:
    https://twitter.com/katzish/status/838052560498016256

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      It’s disgusting and not enough people are talking about it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s not FUBAR. It’s deliberate fear tactics and intimidation. I just wonder, if they’re spending all their time on non-offenders, who’s picking up the real bad guys?

      • redarmyzombie

        None of them, Katie.

      • Jamoche

        Or are they just waiting for a real bad guy to do something to justify them cracking down harder?

      • zerosumgame0005

        you mean Trumps coke connections? never…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    There is something exquisitely funny about the guy who screams “McCarthyism!” having been tutored by Roy Cohn…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yes if by “funny” you mean holy fuck we’re all going to die

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      He copied that from Kremlin talking points and didn’t think it through.

    • snark-lurker

      good time for another McMarthy but from the left

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Dan Rather weighs in:

    “It is understandable that Donald Trump’s twitter attack on President Obama early this morning would immediately be consumed by the churning political hurricane that is America today. The deepening divisions that are pulling at the fabric of our nation are on raw display. On one side we see understandable outrage, with many questioning the mental fitness of our Commander and Chief. On the other side we see Trump’s allies rallying under their shared hatred of our previous President. Perhaps it is my age or experience, but I feel no schadenfreude or eagerness to say, “I told you so.” I feel only a deep and abiding sadness. This is my country that I love with all my heart. We are a weakened nation, in our own estimation, and that of the world. If this was happening in some distant land, we would shake our heads and thank our lucky stars that we are Americans. But this nightmare is happening here, and we have no choice but to confront that disorientating truth.

    My reporter’s instincts make me wonder at Trump’s actions. It has the feeling of a classic smokescreen. What is he hiding? Is this a kind of trap? Does he have something he is about to drop? Or does he know something else is about to drop on him and his administration, which is facing a withering crescendo of scandal?
    We must carefully separate what we know to be true, from what we think to be true, from what we do not yet know. And in the early days of a story like this, what we do not know will far outpace the other two. We do know that there were numerous contacts between close aids to Donald Trump and senior Russian officials at a time when all indications point that the Kremlin was actively trying to undermine the integrity of our election. What we don’t know is what these discussions were about. We do not know what is in Mr. Trump’s tax returns, which he seems so hell bent on hiding. We do now know all the other suggestions of links between Mr. Trump and people close to him and Russia. And then, of course, we do not know what else there is to know.

    It is long past time that we have a complete and independent bipartisan investigation, especially since the director of the FBI is under such a cloud of political manipulation. Now is the time to breath the cool winds of impartiality and facts. We need statesmen of steady head and temperament, willing to put country ahead of politics. We cannot afford for our democratic institutions to be consumed by a bonfire of lies, innuendos, and conspiracy theories.

    We can all work ourselves into fervers of indignation. But the only antidote to these deep and understandable anxieties is the truth. We are the people of the United States. Our great nation is in a perilous moment, and the world is watching with great unease. We want the truth. We demand the truth. We can handle the truth.”

    https://www.facebook.com/theDanRather/posts/10158295903900716

  • Reality Kills

    “Obama’s presidency was not scandal-less! I saw Barak cheating on Michelle with Jessica Rabbit! Sad!”

    -TheRealDonaldJTrump

    • Hutch

      Can you blame him? I mean, Jessica [not bad, just drawn that way] Rabbit!!!

  • Puck

    RoguePotus had an interesting point. So *IF* there was wiretaps on any trump stuff, and *IF* that investigation is classified, is it now declassified since the Prez talked about it? And if so, is that information now open to FOIA requests? Exactly just how bad did snapcase fuck himself here?

    • shivaskeeper

      That would depend on which agencies classified the info. Generally speaking the classifying agency is the de classifying agency. The thing is sometimes one agency will classify something and another agency either won’t classify it or put it a higher level.

      The President can de classify something but it has to be done formally, in writing. His tweet storm doesn’t count.

      • Thaumaturgist

        But, as we learned during the Valerie Plame affair, the Vice President can declassify shit without leaving a paper trail.

        • shivaskeeper

          OK. Point taken. However to do it legally…

      • Puck

        K. So him talking about it doesn’t automatically make it declassified then, it just makes him an idiot. Didn’t think about the whole official route thing I guess. My brain is not working yet.

        • shivaskeeper

          If he wasn’t the President he could be changed with compromising classified info, but that doesn’t apply, so yes, he’s an idiot.

          They may as well unclassify it now, bit it still needs to be done formally.

  • pragmatist3

    My guess after reading Obama’s pretty precise statement- Trump was the subject of a wiretap requested by the FBI and issued by FISA on Russian issues. Trump has learned that the tap will become public and he wants to shift the story away from himself.
    OR
    Trump is bats&*t crazy.
    Pick em.

    • msanthropesmr

      Why not both~!

      • TeenLaQueefa

        (Shakes tiny fist)

    • TeenLaQueefa

      I choose BOTH!

    • bluicebank

      AOT,K

      • pragmatist3

        I am old so I had to look that up. Then it took me a second reading to figure it out. Maybe I should keep that LTCI.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      YES

    • BadKitty904

      PoTAYto / PoTAHto…

      • Jack Tenhet

        Potato/Potreason.

      • Panika MCD

        that reminds me: why hasn’t anyone asked if Tsarina Russian Party Line if he can spell “potato”? his followers are simple people, this would be a simple illustration.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Or, he was really, really pissed that Sessions backed down, they had to explain to him that they couldn’t afford to fuck around and give the wolves an excuse when they don’t know what the feebs uncovered, and this is the pattern the shards settled in after his tantrum.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Definitely. I found the wording of the statement interesting.

  • Jamoche

    A sea lion joins the selfie generation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmrAOmJqwWk

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Dan Rather

    My reporter’s instincts make me wonder at Trump’s actions. It has the feeling of a classic smokescreen. What is he hiding? Is this a kind of trap? Does he have something he is about to drop? Or does he know something else is about to drop on him and his administration, which is facing a withering crescendo of scandal?

    We must carefully separate what we know to be true, from what we think to be true, from what we do not yet know. And in the early days of a story like this, what we do not know will far outpace the other two. We do know that there were numerous contacts between close aids to Donald Trump and senior Russian officials at a time when all indications point that the Kremlin was actively trying to undermine the integrity of our election. What we don’t know is what these discussions were about. We do not know what is in Mr. Trump’s tax returns, which he seems so hell bent on hiding. We do now know all the other suggestions of links between Mr. Trump and people close to him and Russia. And then, of course, we do not know what else there is to know.

    • shivaskeeper

      I would also add beware of what we want to be true as well.

      • BadKitty904

        Truly. It’s nice to see the wheels coming off this manure cart, but the GOP is still holding our nation hostage. This isn’t over ’til they’re out of office and/or on their way to prison.

        This fight is just beginning…

        • shivaskeeper

          Yup.

          • BadKitty904

            As you said: “This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint.

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s still true. Also too never count one these fuckers out until they are out.

          • Thaumaturgist

            At this point,we still don’t know the Fat Lady’s identity.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          This!

        • mailman27

          We have to go as fast as we can while walking a tightrope. Gotta do it right.

          • BadKitty904

            For as long as any of these traitorous buffoons remain in office.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Yes. We need to be very careful and should view any of this with some skepticism. If he can get away with it — showing his opponents to be foolish or liars or anything — it will be years before this is resolved (if ever). I assume Sen Schumer, Rep Pelosi and others are thinking the same. This is certain to mean that dreadful legislation gets passed and signed.

        • Mike Steele

          IOW, STFU Claire McCaskill.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Msgr_MΩment

      For the Sikhs that I know, “where you came from” would have been Brooklyn, I think.

      • Thaumaturgist

        The Sikhs should be glad it’s not Cleveland, I think.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        South Queens.